CFB Realignment With Andy Staples, Djokovic The GOAT, Zach Wilson May Have That Dog In Him Plus Mt Rushmore Of CFB Traditions

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.

Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.

On today's Pardon My Take, we have our good friend Andy Staples to talk college football realignment

and Mount Rushmore of college football traditions.

We're under 50 days left before college football comes back.

And the NFL is right behind.

Football is back, Hank.

Football is back.

Hell yeah.

We're back.

We're going to talk a little tennis.

We're going to talk a little, I don't know what else is going on.

Do F1.

We got some quarterback news.

Milf Hunter.

Yeah, Baker.

We got Milf Hunter, Baker.

We're in some dog days, but we're going to grind it out. Great show coming, and we also have Who's Back.
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Yeah, practice. You broke 90? Yeah.
On 18? Yeah. Wow.
You're such a jerk. Mickey Mouse course.
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Okay, let's go. Boy! Boy!

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And Novak Djokovic is the goat. What's the other guy's name? Curios? Yeah.
Curios. Curios.
Curios. I liked it.
Leather Curios. Yeah, nice try.
He's an interesting guy. Yeah, he was wearing a tank top, but also had a shirt underneath.
It was the Matt Rule. Yeah, it was quite in the backwards hat with the brim pointed up.
He is the bad boy of tennis. Oh, yeah.
His flow chart goes like either scream at his opponent because he just won a point or scream at whoever's closest to him because he just lost a point and it couldn't possibly be his fault. He blamed some drunk woman.
He tried to get her kicked out. That was the queen.
Yeah. It was said some some woman in a dress that looks like she said 700 beers.
Yeah. It's just it's talking too much.
Maybe you were just going up against the goat Novak Djokovic. It was funny hearing John McEnroe have to dissect Curios is like he hated manners him.
Which is crazy because it's like that's John McEnroe watching John McEnroe. At one point after like the 700 drinks with that woman in the dress comment, McEnroe was like, it's actually just a child that doesn't know that he's not allowed to speak.
Right. And I like Kyrgios because you like anyone who's their own worst enemy.
Athletes who are their own worst enemy. It feels like he's a mental head case.
And Novak Djokovic, the GOAT, officially passes Roger Federer in championships, major championships, one away from Nadal, who just wins Mickey Mouse Clay ones every single time. Well, he had to withdraw due to injury.
Yeah, which actually hurt Djokovic because he had to play a guy who had extra rest. Yes.
But I think it's firmly established. He is the GOAT.
What say you, Jake? Go ahead and try to come at me. You can't.
Well, he was the GOAT of Wimbledon. Nope.
But he's still trailing Rafa by one. And all Rafa does is win on clay.
And and also they try to keep my mans out of Australia and that's why Nadal won Australia and he might not be playing here in New York next month that would be a shame he's going to end up with 30 there might not be any big 3 in US Open why oh because Djokovic are we still keeping him out Roger's hurt yeah Raider's old forget Roger right now, Jokovic isn't allowed in the United States, and we don't know if Rafa's going to recover from this injury in time. Bad boy.
Bad boy life. Could be wide open.
What's the stat? Because it's something crazy. Like, the last 75 major championships have had, it's like 65 of them, have had one of the big three in it.
It's actually just the stat that just reminds you that Andy Murray won a Wimbledon championship.

Yeah.

Because that's always, it's like you see all the names.

You're like, oh, yeah, Andy Murray.

That was cool.

And it's like that, what was it, AFC quarterback Super Bowl stat?

It was like every Super Bowl had Brady, Peyton, or someone else.

And there was one Flacco.

That was the only one.

It was like a teammate of Shaq's was in the finals for every year

for like 40 years in a row. All right, well, that's talking tennis.
I mean, it was the major sport event today. I mean, something about Wimbledon.
You just get romantic about it. I do love the ball boys.
The ball boys are like on their shit at Wimbledon. They're like very specific movements that they're allowed to make after certain points.
They have like, I don't know. it looks like they're soldiers because they have to be standing like a certain posture.
Their right hand has to go at like a certain angle when they're delivering the balls. It's nice.
It's nice to see how the Brits clean up sometimes. I did watch, I think it was almost three full games.
Sets. No, no games.
I said it correctly. I watched almost three full games.
I'm pissed off that they took away the fifth set tiebreaker rule where they had the tiebreaker that could go on into infinity. 2010.
I don't like that. Isner Mahoot.
Yeah. And it lasted three days.
70, 68. They were the Syracuse Yukon of Wimbledon.
See, I like that. That's cool to have an event that could, in theory, extend into infinity.
Now it's a super tiebreaker. Super tiebreaker? Well, that sounds cool.
They tried to trick us by putting the word super in front of it. Oh, but they played a 10 instead of 7.
A super tiebreaker should be just the tiebreaker that goes on days. Yeah, and a goal of mine is just going to never learn what the super tiebreaker is.
It's really not that much different. Nope, don't tell it to me.
I don't want to know. All right.
Don't listen. They played a 10 instead of 7.
No. Stop.
Are they still doing the thing where they do like the mixed doubles championship after? Yeah. The ladies doubles was after the gentlemen's singles.
That's kind of nice. Yeah.
I like that. They should play the NIT championship like right after the final four.
I think that's got to be demoralizing. There's no way people stay for that.
Oh, of course. Ease us out of that oh he's just out of it bro they stay for the strawberries and the cream i hope so in the white linens you got to all right the day before they do the men's doubles with the women's singles uh a little switcheroo yeah i like that okay so that was talking tennis um real sports news baker mayfield is now a Carolina Panther.

The Carolina Panthers are, I might have to become a fan of them

because they now have the first and third pick from that 2018 draft.

I think they had the fourth pick in that draft.

Or the Browns had the fourth pick.

The Browns had the first and the fourth, and they still screwed it up.

And the Panthers now are ending up with the first and the third with Sam Darnold and Baker Mayfield which how can they the super team and Corral they're a super team they're a dynasty in the making right now Cam Newton comes back they have two first round picks a quarter for number one ones at quarterback it's funny to watch how the how the Panthers have operated since Tepper has become their owner they're just in a constant state of panic yeah like every off Like every offseason, they're like, we got to make a big splash. Yeah.
And they never do make a big splash. They try to.
I actually like Baker on the Panthers. Yeah, I do.
Maybe I'm an idiot, but I think that Baker is still like he could be a top 12 quarterback. Yeah.
I think that's about where he's at. I mean, like Cleveland forgets how dog shit their franchise has been for such a long time.
He came in. I wouldn't call him a bust.
Like, I saw people calling Baker Mayfield a bust. I don't think he's a bust at all.
I think that he was hurt last year. He got the Browns to the playoffs.
They won a playoff game, didn't they? They won a playoff game. They beat the Steelers.
Yes. Yes.
And I think Baker had, like, an awesome game against the Steelers. They almost.
No, they didn't almost beat the Chiefs. They were kind of.
They almost beat the Chiefs in the regular season. Earlier.
That's no, that was the next season. Yeah.
The next season. So, yeah, Baker almost won multiple playoff games.
Some of them not in the actual play. Baker was great up until like week three where he injured his shoulder against the Texans.
I think his body became broken. His body turned on himself.
Yes. yes and Baker he's a guy that's a big chip on a shoulder guy and then guess who they get to play week one the Panthers play the Browns love it this league I do like what the Panthers are doing the strategy there they are a fantasy football commissioner or a team owner like run amok where it's like I screwed up this draft so I'm just going to try to get as many names that I can recognize on my roster.
And one of them has to produce. You know what the Panthers are doing? They're doing the redrafts.
The Panthers every year are constantly in a state of redrafting. Right.
It's like, we don't know what we're going to do so we're just going to throw as many options at the wall and someone has to work out. Little spoiler alert, no one's going to work out but someone has to work out a little spoiler alert no one's gonna work out but someone has to work out i do think that baker wearing the carolina panthers jersey is gonna be an all-time weird sight yeah like that those color schemes don't really they don't scream baker mayfiel no they definitely don't and then um the other quarterback news zach wilson may or may not be a dog i think confirmed got that dog in him yeah he is a dog who's got a dog in him she then he puts a dog in other people the cougar what happened had that dog in him yeah all right so there's a rumor out there not totally not substantiated other than started an Instagram yeah all right so so here's how here's the quick backstory Zach Wilson's best friend in college.
Zach Wilson had a girlfriend in college. Zach Wilson's best friend, who's now on the Washington Commander's wide receiver, is now dating Zach Wilson's ex-girlfriend.
His recent, not his girlfriend of college. Yeah, his most recent.
So Zach Wilson's best friend dating Zach Wilson's ex-girlfriend. Then...
Homie Hopper. Someone into zach wilson's ex-girlfriend's uh instagram comments said homie hopper uh and she replied and was like homie hopper how about the fact that zach wilson is banging his mom's best friend and i which is if it's a lie it's honestly hilarious either way and then if it's the truth twoing adults, what's the problem? Go for it.
And then Mekhi Becton from the Jets, he tweeted out, that's my quarterback. Now, I think this actually will get Zach Wilson more respect in the locker room.
My big takeaway from this is it's kind of an eye-opening moment for me. I think Mormons fuck.
I think Mormons fuck a lot more than were led were led on to believe yeah now do you think they just soaked oh if they just soaked i don't think he doesn't have that dog in him i need some friction i need i need a few thrusts i don't think he's like a he's not a full mormon himself like his he's not he doesn't he's not a practicing mormon well clearly but i think there's a lot of swinging that goes on in utah well there's definitely like you know like it's just like it's one of those yeah it's like the craziest state probably in the country yeah i i think that the mormons the entire country's on the entire state is on some weird ass like they're always on the weird shit yeah yeah i i think that they've pulled the wool over our eyes i think that everyone just like assumes mormons don't fuck till they get, and then they just fuck all the time. I think that Mormons are low-key fucking all the time.
All the time. They've just been under the radar.
But Zach Wilson, he's got that dog in him. That's a ballsy move.
Your mom's best friend, if it was true, we don't know. But if it were true, that's a ballsy move.
And I kind of like that. If you're a Jets fan, you've got to be like, okay, we've got ourselves a quarterback.
I also think everybody out there is, like, looking at pictures of Zach Wilson's mom and doing the math, like, well, she's pretty hot, so I would assume that her friend is hot too. Oh, yeah.
Yeah. Dog.
Hot girls hang out together. That's a fact.
No matter what age. Dog.
Dog. Dog.
Wasn't there a – there was also, like, a few months ago, was spotted in florida with some may call uh shout out ben mince a milf um man i love football uh and so he might have a thing for the older ladies who cares consenting adults again dog responsible you might also just be married to all of them yeah that's true you don't know that works yeah so the jets i feel like yeah this is this is actually good news for the jets they're in the news and it's not a total disaster yeah i mean you go from having maybe the lamest sex scandal of all time which is like sam donald got mono from making out in a bar in hoboken right to like okay zach wilson confirmed stickman yeah confirmed dog yeah no i agree i think the are on the come up. You got to be a little nervous, huh, Hank? What? It's the Jets.
I'm just saying. He was DMing Jack Mack being like, please take this down.
Yeah, I understand. That is the softest shit I've ever heard.
Sorry, Zach Wilson, but it's, I mean, it's Jack Mack. I think Zach Wilson probably freaked out in the moment and then like 24 hours later.
Because really, when it actually boils down. But how do you not know the internet? Like once that's out there, it's out there.
He was DMing with Jack Mack, who is a blogger that works here. He does TikToks.
He's like a TikTok journalist. He's on every beat.
He's a TikTok journalist. He does the Facecam videos.
He breaks it down. And then if it's a big story, it goes viral.
This was going viral. And Zach Wilson, he's a Jets fan.
Soft move by Jack Mack, too. Jack Wilson was DMing him to be like, please take this down, please take this down.
But once it's out there, it's out there. Once it goes viral, everyone's going to be talking about it.
Okay, but I understand where Jack Mack was coming from because if it's like you're the first to it and then you feel like you're responsible for it and he's a Jets fan, Jack Mack needs to be applauded for his TikTok journalism. And Zach Wilson followed him, and then afterwards, unfollowed him.
Yeah, so Zach Wilson probably freaked out in the moment. Even after he took it down.
I bet you he wakes up tomorrow, and he's like, what's the big deal? Because it actually is. Yeah, he's probably getting texts from his teammates like, yeah.
Yeah, right. In terms of actual scandals, this is not a scandal.
It is two consenting adults. Again, maybe it's a little awkward for your mom now, but that's, you know, deal with that.
But maybe she's probably on some crazy shit, too. She's probably like, yo, she is hot.
I know her. Yeah.
Because all women have seen each other's breasts. I think the biggest scandal is, that's a fact.
That is a fact. That's a fact.
That's how they say hello to each other. The biggest scandal here is, like, the former best friend.
That's where it gets weird. That is, that's probably what he was embarrassed about.
Right. He was like, this guy is now dating my, I don't want that.
I don't want, I don't want that to get out there. Yeah.
But as far as like, oh, I'm banging, I'm banging a hot mom. Yeah.
Yeah. Dog.
Yeah. He might be on the injury report week one because he's going to have a broken hand from getting high fives.
Yeah, that's the number one porn category.

Yeah, allegedly.

Allegedly.

I've heard.

Allegedly.

But that's like, come on.

Zach Wilson, good job, bro.

All right.

Mypervfamily.com.

I mean, that is a headline.

Yeah.

Mom's best friend bangs star quarterback.

Yeah.

Mypervfamily.

Damn, Rex Ryan probably really wishing he was coaching him right now.

Lisa Ann is definitely going to make this into a porno, which would be great. Who's going to play Zach Wilson? So that's the thing.
Billy Football. Brandy Love could catch in big time tomorrow.
Actually, never mind. Sorry.
No, my bad. No, I brought it up.
Okay, so since you brought it up, I vote to unsuspend Billy Football from the podcast. No, should have brought it up if he makes a porn dressed up like zach wilson and he's banging brandy love yes his suspension is up next week but he can get time served that's his appeal if he does that that's his appeal for yes yes absolutely or at least makes a deep fake of himself doing that would work too or he or he could just do a a selfie video of him jerking off to brandy love he does have an only fan yeah yeah pov you're zach wilson's mom's best friend it's just just billy sweating um okay other stories other kevin durant still doesn't have a new team i actually think the nets should just keep them well i think the nets ideally would like to give they're just doing the thing where they they hope if they just wait for a while that kevin durant will change his mind yeah like maybe maybe something cool will happen in new york and kevin durant will be like yeah i want to stick around yeah that's pretty much that's the strategy and at some point there will be a team that does play hard i mean the sixers tried to do it last year yeah but i feel like the pendulum has swung so much in the direction of player empowerment that we're going to get one owner that's just going to be like, you know what? Fuck it.
Fuck it. I'm not changing anything.
Yeah. And Joe, I should do that.
And then I'm trying to think of what other stories. Baseball's still happening.
Yeah. The Angels suck so bad.
I actually should read one of the funniest tweets ever that just keeps getting retweeted constantly on my timeline. Because the Angels, I think, have the worst record since May 25th.
They're winning like 20% of their games. And this guy named Matt Tomick wrote, this was actually back in early May, before they fell off.
He said, every time I see an Angels highlight, it's like, Mike Trout hit three home runs and raises average to 528, while Shohei Otani did something that hasn't been done since Tugston Arm O'Doyle of the 1921 Akron Groomsmen as the Tigers defeated the Angels 8-3. That's every single game for the Angels.
Yeah. It's just cool highlights, and they lose every game.
That's been the story of the Angels for, I feel like, the last. Ever since Mike Socha hasn't been their manager.
So perfect. Aaron Rodgers got a tattoo.
He did in a very tough situation I was tagged a lot in it we were on vacation so I was also trying to stay off my phone a little bit it's the one spot where I've professed that I would like to someday be a older gentleman getting a tattoo the first tattoo so I'm not going to shame him even though I looked at it and I think i could be arrested by the cia just by looking at i'm trying to decipher right now the best explanation it looks like if an incubus song became a tattoo it's got a globe on it it's got one angry lion one smiling lion the eye of what's that eye that's on the dollar bill the illuminati yeah he's in the illuminati yeah well i was gonna say the reason why i wasn't shocked by it is because i've lived in brooklyn for six years so i've seen that tattoo every day when i went to go get a coffee that's pretty much what he did he's got it's it's a tattoo that was designed to impress joe rogan very clearly yes um some sort of it's a tattoo that he wants you to be like what is that about and then you have to strap in for three hours because he's gonna tell you everything yeah open your mind open your heart tattoo but again i i do i like eventually i would like to have a tattoo and when that day comes i know that i'll be opening myself up to criticism this is like a tattoo of the inside of kyrie irving's brain yes or what Kyrie Irving thinks his brain is yeah it's not actually Kyrie Irving's brain if Kyrie Irving built his own brain in Minecraft yeah that's what this would look like when Kyrie even looks into the mirror he thinks that like if he looks hard enough into his eyes that's what's happening inside of his eyes I need to know though is this on his left arm or his right arm? I think it's his left.

Coward. That's a coward move right there.

If he was a baller, if he had that dog

in him, he would put that on his throwing hand.

Yeah, he would. He would.
And then the other

sports story is Ferrari's back.

It was a big day for me for sports

I don't care about where I can just

congratulate myself on Twitter. I just saw

there was a fire. That's cool.
Yeah, it was cool.

I like fire. It was also Carlos Sainz, so the other Ferrari guy, and he was the this is fine dog for a few seconds there because his car was completely on fire and he just wasn't getting out.
It's not ideal. I'm still in this race.
I like that. I like the possibility that maybe it'll go away.
Maybe maybe if i drive fast enough the wind will put the flames out yeah but any sport that has a fire in it i'm i'm gonna be interested in looking at the picture that fire i'm i found myself in a perfect spot i feel like we've we've discussed this i think a month ago when we're like hey look we're not really actually watching these races we like drive to survive i just i found my niche it's to watch drives to survive to know enough that i can just be annoying to people who uh watch the sport and and love it and truly care about it care about it that's a great that's a good spot to tennis yeah you don't have to you don't have to actually ever put anything on the line for it right you're just like okay i'm just here to piss all you guys right and everyone whenever i have a strong opinion about, did you even watch the race? And the answer is no. Nope.
I didn't. I don't watch the race.
I will tune in if there's a fire. That's how you get me.
Yeah. I did watch a little of the race because the only reason I watched a little of the race today is because I was so bored by the tennis.
So they were going on at the same time. So I had to flip to F1.
They really put me in a box. I would watch F1 if they were in planes.
How cool would that be? That'd be very cool. Drone racing? Even faster, yeah.
Drone racing. And you could shoot each other down.
And Tom Cruise was in it. And Miles Teller was in his backseat.
Then I would watch it. Yeah.
Miles Teller had sick abs and a great mustache. That's how you get me to watch F1.
I'm in for that. And Kenny Loggins.
All right. Let's do Who's Back? And then we have Andy Staples.
We're going to do Andy Staples realignment and then the Mount Rushmore of college football traditions. Who's Back? The week brought to you by our friends at Coors Light.
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CoorsLiteSummer.com. Okay, who's back in the week? Hank.
I got a couple. My first one is Waffle House Fight Videos.
Yep. There was one that came out today.
If you want to find it, it's on. Someone blogged it on Barstool.
It's just great to see. It's great to kind of get back into the swing of things, getting back to work, go on the internet, and it's like, what's going on? Boom, Waffle House Fight Video.
You know, too. This is what I needed.
The internet is back. Yes, this is what I needed to start my week.
I saw a video, Waffle House video, a couple weeks ago where it was like the chef had to go to the hospital and the waitress just let everyone who's in the Waffle House just make their own waffles. Yeah.
It was awesome. You can start cooking.
Yeah. It was so sick.
Go for it. Yeah.
That's actually not a bad idea for a restaurant, like a late night restaurant. Yeah.
Is, well, first of all, you can fight.

Very dangerous.

You can fight in there.

Yeah.

But also, like, make your own food.

Yeah.

Like Korean barbecue, but it's just a waffle griddle.

Yeah.

In the middle of the table.

There's no line.

It's just who can get the thing first.

Yeah.

They just come with batter.

Yeah.

You show up.

No.

But only one guy.

It's just like, who can get up to the front?

Only one person gets to use the stove at a time.

Right. But you can challenge that person by fighting them.
Yeah. to get to the stove.
What about a bring your own batter restaurant? I thought you were going to say bat to get into fights with. Yeah, both.
It's like sluggers in Wrigley Village. You bring batter for your waffles and also a bat to hit in the cages.
Yeah, you can put whatever liquid you want on this hot metal stove. As long as you can hit 80 miles an hour.
Yeah. No, people don't bring bats there.
No. But, and you can put whatever liquid you want on this hot metal stove as long as as long as you can hit 80 miles an hour yeah and people don't know but and you can't wait you said i was like there's a what no i just like the idea of a king of the hill type restaurant where you have to defeat challengers to make your food yes real primal shit genius idea all right and my other my other who's back is summer this league okay summer league that was kind of the only other thing that was really going on in the sports world.
But just the things that come out of the conversations, it's like LeBron talking to Rob Palenka, and then it's just like everyone goes off on these rumors. Woj was talking to Rich Paul, and it's just one of those things where it's just people at Summer League, everyone goes to Summer League.
All the players go, all the executives go, all the coaches go. They have conversations.
And then people just go crazy being like, this GM's talking to this GM, a trade's happening. And people just go nuts over nothing.
I actually do think that this year is the earliest that we've ever started to legitimately have the redrafting talk after the draft. So right now, all the talk is like Chet, Jabari, Paolo, Baccaro.
I'm a big Chet Holmgren fan, by the way. He's awesome.
I like him. That's what I'm saying.
Kevin Durant should go to the Thunder. Yes.
Yeah, no, that's the one. The only two places Kevin Durant can go to restore his legacy is the Thunder or if he waits out for the Sonics.
And they're good. And it would be an unbelievable story.
It would. Everyone would root for Kevin Durant if he went to the Thunder.
thugs and they have the picks to give up that's the craziest part i think him and chet made in heaven they probably wear the same size shirts too yeah it's i mean chet is just a it's so much fun watching him just be like kd like how is this guy real it's puzzling yeah but it's very satisfying yeah he was just like his body was truly built to play basketball the other part about chet no for nothing no for nothing else like there's we could use a few more pounds well obviously but yeah like there's no other there's no other actual practical application maybe apple picking maybe like old school just like see the freak at the zoo yeah yeah no if he was born in like 1870 yeah he would be there would be a guy in a top hat that would wheel him around in a cage all the time. Or he would be Rasputin.
Yeah. No, if he was born in like 1870, there would be a guy in a top hat that would wheel him around in a cage all the time.

Or he would be Rasputin.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, he, speaking of which, by the way.

Was Rasputin tall?

Yeah, he had a huge cock.

Huge, very tall.

Cooper Flagg, we won the under 17 USA gold medal.

Remember our guy, Cooper Flagg? Yeah.

Maine guy?

Yeah.

Guy from Maine who's going to be the number one pick?

What are you talking about? Hank, there are two guys that. Wow.
Rasputin? There are two- Yeah, we just hopped. We just hopped.
We're just going white guys in history. I'm not ready for that.
I'm trying to get back to speed. Finally, a podcast for white guys.
There's Cooper Flagg, and then there's that other guy named Dick. Yeah.
And those are the two guys- Grady Dick? Grady Dick, sure. Cooper Flagg is the number one prospect for the 2025 class.
He's Russian. No, he's American.
The opposite. He would be...
Remember the draft night we were talking about... Rasputin? Last white American to be 1-1 was 1977.
Ah. Cooper Flagg.
Got it. Now that we care, but Cooper Flagg won in under 17.
I just got tagged a shitload in it. I guess I'm a Cooper flag baby goat yeah uh wait what were we talking about chet yeah chet chet's sick and you know what's crazy about chet he's cocky as fuck like i a guy that looks like that shouldn't be cocky he he had the block the record for a number of blocks in a summer league game which which who keeps summer league records? What the fuck? And so they asked him after, and they're like, do you know that you had the record? He's like, I'm going to do it again tomorrow night.
I love that. It's like, what? Let's coach it.
The cockiest Chet ever. Yeah.
Jesus. He's going to get dunked on once so viciously this year.
He's a rookie. It will take 5% of the cockiness out of him.
I'm just going to say that right now. You know someone's going to just yam on him.
Got to pay your dues. You'll probably get a nosebleed from it.
Yeah. It's going to be all over everything.
Okay, you're who's back. PFT.
Hank, are you done? Yep. Okay.
I know you said you had a few of them, so you just said two. There might be another one.
Jake, could you look up the definition of a few, please? Because I think that would qualify. I think it's three.
I think a few is three. A few is three.
Small number of. Yeah, we're both.
There's two a small number? I was just trying to make sure that you had all the time you needed. A couple is two.
A couple is two. A couple is two, for sure.
Two is a small number. A few is three.
Can you read again? A small number of. Got it.
What are we using there? Is it an urban dictionary? Is two a big number? No, two's a couple. It's a small number.
Two's a couple. Three's a few.
Which would then classify it as a few. If I said to you, we're bringing a few people over, would you think it was just me and PFT? It could be.
No chance. If DK Metcalf was on the phone and he's like, hey, can you bring a few of your friends over? Yeah, no chance.
And she rolls up with two. See ya.
If someone says they're bringing a few people over, you don't think it's going to be just two people. If two people showed up, I'd be like, that's a few.
No. No.
If you included yourself. Yes.
Correct. Because it'd be three people.
You're right. That is a few people.
You now are a few. You've created a new super group.
It's two to four. The big three, is it a few? Single Single, couple, few.
Could also be two. No.
Yes. Incorrect.
Okay. I mean, going against Webster over here.
Football is back. Jake, what website was that on? Miriam Webster.
She's circling on Webster. Fuck them.
Okay, so my Who's Back of the Week is embracing debate and expanding on a debate that we all love to have I think it's maybe the most popular debate of all time Can you jump from the free throw line? No, it's Steph Excuse me, the original debate is obviously MJ vs. LeBron It got expanded last week And then it went viral And then all the morning shows started to debate the new evolution of the debate, so I figured we should at least touch on it.
It's no longer just MJ versus LeBron, who do you have? It's Magic and MJ versus LeBron and Steph. Who wins two on two? I like that.
I like it too. Magic and MJ win.
I don't know because they didn't defend the perimeter back then. I feel like Steph Curry changed the game.
Magic was a problem. He was an issue.
And MJ was him. I mean, what era of medicine are we playing in? That's a big question as well.
You got a problem in him versus LeBron and Steph. So I don't think Magic could shoot.
He doesn't need to shoot. Yeah, he's big.
LeBron can shoot. Great pass.
LeBron can shoot? Did Henry Lockwood just say that? Yeah, better than that. I mean, it's different eras.
Are you okay? It's different eras. Are you okay? We can't concede any of that.
I mean, Steph is the greatest shooter of all time. Well, Steph involved.
It's like Steph would carry them. Yeah, I actually think that LeBron doesn't touch the ball.
Like, look what he did to KD. And also, wait.
He gave him two championships. It matters.
It matters. Are we playing by ones and twos? Because if we're playing by ones and twos.
That would matter. That would matter.
I think Steph Curry, he doesn't let LeBron touch the ball except to rebound. Yeah.
And then Steph, if he hits 40% of his threes, two is 100% more than one. I think mathematically they would dominate that game well i think lebron would also just be trying to get like magic and mj to like him so that would totally neutralize him right yeah probably yeah try to get it try to get you know us old heads out here i did see a video not to just hop on lebron hay train but since we're doing doing it on the anniversary.
It comes up casually, folks. Yeah, it's like I was on vacation.
I wasn't going to bring it up, but I was consuming. I was doing my thing on vacations anyway.
I love when people generally get upset. They can't just go one episode without talking about LeBron.
I'm like, yeah, that's kind of the premise of the show. No, Hank, how would Steph outscoring LeBron in a hypothetical two-on-two game against MJ and Magic but still winning how would that affect LeBron's legacy question that would be great for takes because that would happen that would definitely be I think it'd be worse I think it'd be worse for LeBron if his team won and Steph scored all the points than if his team lost and he scored equal amounts of points to Steph.

Agreed.

Agreed.

And so Steph, leading scorer, they win by three points, but Jordan gets the MVP.

Right.

Right. It was the anniversary of the decision, and it came out like it was like, I'm taking my

talents to South Beach.

Wasn't even LeBron's quote.

He watched Kobe Bryant's high school announcement to the NBA draft, and he says, I'm taking my talents to the NBA. How did no one connect that? It wasn't even an original quote because it was like Kobe's high school.
It wasn't a big news conference or anything. LeFron.
It wasn't viral or whatever. Someone said LeBron looked it up the night before.
That's hilarious. And then went out there.
But also, like, Kobe wasn't picking schools. Like, if he was picking schools, it would be more controversial.
He just said, I'm taking my talents to the NBA. I also.
Like, he wasn't. It wasn't like if he did that between.
I guess. Well, he's picking not to go to school.
Yeah. Right.
I rewatched it, too, because it was, yeah, the 12-year anniversary. And it's very funny rewatching because LeBron wanted to say it right away, but he had to pretend that it was a tough decision.
He's like, oh, man, really tough decision. No, it isn't.
I actually, like, who wouldn't want to go live in Miami for four years? With all the Boys and Girls Club in there. We don't talk about that.
They cut to, like, three commercial breaks before it happened. Yeah, it's like the- LeBron did a good thing in terms of raising money for the Boys and Girls Club in that TV show.
But we don't talk about how. And a bad thing by destroying their hearts and souls.
He brought these eight-year-olds out that thought he was God, that looked up to him, the hometown hero, and made them sit next to him while he fucking pile-drived their hearts over his knee. And he's like, okay, bye.
I miami and drink on a beach yeah enjoy winter five years yeah see you have fun in cleveland yeah if you if you ever make it if you ever find your way down to south beach don't call me that's pretty much what he was doing all right see you later kids um all right my who's back i have two a couple um my first is brett farve brett farve is back oh good because brett farve said in a quote if someone offered me a job to do monday night or thursday night football and it was a great deal i would consider it same yeah great brett good job brett that was that quote made me laugh very hard because brett he's putting his name in the ring. Oh, Brett.
He might. Listen.
It'd have to be a really good offer, though. He did say that.
He would consider it. He wouldn't just take it.
I think Brett was way more entertaining when he was playing than when he's trying to take an objective view of things. He's just kind of boring now.
Yeah. Yeah.
Him just openly know him just being like openly being like i would consider

it i i don't think that offer's coming it would be great if if like they got him to do college football first though that would be fun they'd like send him all around the country yeah like brett farve calling a notre dame game would be awesome would be great yes i'd agree and then my other who's back is is my age because i uh i played wiffle ball back to back days this weekend and i've Never been more sore in my entire life.

Back hurts.

Everything.

Shoulder, back, ankles, Achilles. It's like, you know PFT, like you can still put it on for a weekend drinking wise, but having to actually do like wiffle ball, which should be fun, but I can't bounce back.

Yeah.

I played golf a little bit, and the next day I realized how bad my feet hurt.

Yeah.

And I didn't even walk the course.

Yeah.

I rode in a cart for nine holes.

It sucks.

And I was like, yeah, getting old is tough.

What'd you shoot?

63.

Whoa.

That makes Jake's little breaking 90 look like piddly winks.

I played every hole, too.

Didn't skip any.

What did you shoot, Hank?

Which time?

I played a bunch.

Yeah.

I saw you posting your best swings on Instagram saying roast my swing,

and it happened to be Hank's perfect swing.

I didn't say roast my swing.

That was me.

Oh, you said roast his swing.

To Max Holma.

No, no, but did you not post it? I posted good videos, bad videos. What did you say on the good video? Nothing.
Slow-mo. I said this is slow-mo.
No, I saw yours. I posted a roast my swing.
You're going to love that one. But it was, I hit the, well, I posted two of them.
I posted a video today that said guess my handicap, which is. Oh, yeah.
Yeah. On your best swing I've ever seen you take.
No, it was a compilation of all my swings, and there was several bad ones.

Yeah, I know.

I was kind of...

I mean, a couple people responded.

I thought it was...

I was ready for it.

I mean, that's close to fucking a man.

Yeah.

No, yeah.

It is.

Yeah, if you have a sick mind like yourself.

Yeah, shut up, Hank.

Shut the fuck up.

So what was your best score?

47.

Oh, that's pretty good.

Nine holes.

And I showed up 100.

So not 89.

Okay.

I've decided.

I took my handicap from a 28 to a 24.

Is it?

Did you do that that quickly?

Yeah.

I don't think we have enough rounds registered to like.

Speak for yourself.

I think it's just all over the place.

You guys are registering rounds?

Yeah.

Really?

18 birdies.

Good follow.

Damn.

No free ads. Okay.
Jake. Never mind.
Barstool Golf Time App. Barstool Golf Time App.
18 birdies is fine, but Barstool Golf Time App is better. Barstool Golf Time App, the best.
I almost had a par. That would have been so cool.
Dude, walk off. I'd walk off the course.
It was on the ninth hole, too. Yeah.
I mean, I hit my first shot. The illustrious, you know, the last hole of every course, the ninth hole too yeah i mean i i hit my first shot illustrious you know the last hole of every course the ninth hole i put yeah the iconic like everyone's like oh yeah the ninth hole because who in their fucking right mind would play 18 holes of golf yeah so i hit my first shot absolutely nuked it went into the right fairway or like the fairway next to the one i was in correct and i was like fuck that it's the I'm about done.
I'm just going to drop my next shot where this shot would have landed if it went straight.

I was like 125 yards away, took out a nice little pitching wedge, dropped it to about,

I don't know, I'd say 12 feet, and then hit my putt about four feet.

But that was almost a par.

That was as close to a par as you can get. Not to roast Hank, because Hank is much better than me at golf.

But golf is every day. Yeah.
When I post the swings online, I'm like roast my swing because I always hit a really shitty shot. The most common response by far is swing still better than Hank's.
So I just. Well, I get swing still better than Riggs.
So it's just a chain of golf haters out there. Yeah.
And they are. And they're all golf haters.
I get, how can one man have all that power?

Yeah, I use golf time to book multiple tee times.

It's great.

Good job.

Great, great, great recovery there.

I'm serious.

I'm serious.

I'll show you the receipts.

The handicap system, though, obviously, like, it is good because someone as bad as me can play my friends that are good, and it's like you can play even matches with strokes, and

it stays competitive.

Right.

That is nice.

So it is.

You got to be honest and keep your scores.

Otherwise,

you're not got to be honest and keep your scores. Otherwise, you're saying that.
And you still have your youth, at least. So that's great.
Oh, no. Are you feeling it, too? I was just, yeah.
I mean, I'm old. I was driving home.
29. For some reason, 29 is different than 28.
And it's like. It's so true.
The year? Yeah, I won't even get into it. No, it's it.
I'm feeling old. No, I'm just feeling old.
It's like, you know. Listen, I also think we got to give ourselves a little bit of credit.
Summer drinking is just a different beast because you got to deal with the sun. Yeah.
And in situ, it's always like July 3rd and 4th, 5th, like big, big celebration. And I was having a great time celebrating hard.
Wait, you guys celebrate 4th of July weekend in situate? Well, 3rd, they do the 3rd. For whatever reason, it's like the 3rd is the 3rd.
It's crazy. The 3rd is the 4th, but then the 4th is also the 4th.
Wait, what's the 5th? 5th is just the day after. No, the 5th is a bonus 4th.
Wait, so you have two 4ths and a 5th? Yes. Well, two 4ths.
You get two 4ths. Anyway, whatever.
I was talking to my friend on like the 5 the fifth or sixth, and I was like, man, I was- We're not high on this episode. I was like, that was one of the craziest fourth weekends of the last- Since we've been doing it the last 10 years, he was like, you mean 15? And I was- Shit.
That hit me like a ton of bricks. That's been in my head ever since.
I was like, it's like the Anchorman. You've been coming to the same party.
Is that depressing yeah like more than half your life yeah yes fuck yeah i should probably grow up but that's right that the sun sun kills does add an x factor i um i had a first i woke up on saturday morning and uh my facetime on my phone not my facetime my face id didn't recognize me because I was so hungover I was pointing so puffy

pointing at my face

and my phone was just like

who is this

yeah

it's not you

clean up

go put your face

in some ice water

yeah

and then come back

and try again

but great times

amazing times

but yeah

it's just 29

it's just

29 man

yeah

alright Jake

finish us off

my who's back

is Matthew Della Vadova

yeah

sleep

very restful

Jake actually does look

amazing

yeah you always look Thank you. All right, Jake, finish us off.
My who's back is Matthew Della Vadova. Yeah, Deli.
Very restful week. Jake actually does look amazing.
Yeah, you're glowing right now, Jake. You probably use that good sunscreen.
Yeah. You put cucumbers over your eyes? No, I've never done it.
Oh, did I send you the picture of my sunburn tan? No. Yeah, I have a farmer's tan, too.
great uh like just super drunk slap some sunscreen on your shoulders and that's it yeah because when you go out in the sun as a man sometimes you just kind of want to let it ride and if you've been out in the sun for like four hours four hours drinking you're not gonna like find a friend to put sunscreen on your back no no i No, I saw someone do it. I was like, give me some of that.

I'm also going to just say right now, I judge you if you're SPF 35 or plus.

30 or below.

What's the point?

Anyone who puts on 50, I'm just immediately like, dude, just go inside.

50 is a t-shirt.

Go inside.

There's no reason to be outside.

Or convert to being a sun shirt guy.

If you really can't handle this, just... You're not that

guy, pal. That's what I say to anyone who puts on

50. Okay.

Hank, this is a very funny picture of you.

Especially your arm.

Where you managed to put the sun scroll on.

Jesus Christ.

Yeah, you just got

a little bit on that neck. Alright, so

Matthew Delavidova. Yeah, he's getting a summer workout

at Sacramento Kings. Let's go Delavidova.
We'll see if he can make it back. Go.
Go. He should be back.
The NBA is a better league when Matthew Delvedo is in it. Like hitting people in the nuts, taking charges, bleeding from like one nostril because he's playing so dang hard.
Agreed. I miss that guy.
Yeah, I'm happy he's back. So he's...
Wait, what did you say? He's got to work out with the Kings.

Oh, okay, so he's not back.

I mean, he should be able to make the Kings, right?

We'd hope.

It's the Kings.

Their coach is Mike Brown, who he has history with.

Oh, so he's got that nepotism.

Yeah, that's...

You've got to work out.

You know what it is?

You've got to work out.

No, Dele's getting in, and he's going to change the culture.

Yeah, you get your name on part of my tape.

Exactly.

Who's back, yeah.

And then everyone's like, ooh, he's back.

In the second week of July.

That probably is like a discussion that a marketing department would have for the Kings. It's like, how do we increase our brand awareness? Right.
Let's bring Deli in so that they'll say the name the Kings on part of my take, and boom, next thing you know, our brand's worth like $100,000 more. Yes.
I have a quick – I know I've been all over the place a little bit, but Jake, the Sunday Night Baseball Yankees-Red Sox game is on. Red Sox took a huge lead.
But why was Chapman pitching in the sixth? Well, he was injured, so I would assume – I'm not positive. I would assume they're just trying to ease him back.
Just take him out back. Not in high-level situations.
I know he sucks, but why would you put him in the sixth inning? And who's back of the week is Yankees, Red Sox, Sunday Night Baseball taking six hours. Yeah.
Because we're in the 7th. 10, 12 p.m.
Yeah. Three hours plus in.
Yeah, I was just talking. I was just talking.
Yeah, no, he's bad. Oh, Veritek's back too.
Yeah, that was cool. That was a sick video of him.
What is he back with? He just went out and caught, I think, a warm-up.

He's a coach, right?

So he's in full uni, so it's like, yeah.

That also made me feel old as fuck because he's looking old.

15 years, he's from the same party.

He's eating well.

He's a healthy guy.

He's the game planning coordinator.

That sounds like an awesome job.

Is that like you work with the catcher?

You work with the catcher before the game and steak after? I'm sure you just work with the catcher Yeah Obviously it's way more I could do game planning and just be like Alright guys What do you guys want to drink after the game I think it's also making sure there's enough gum And sunflower seeds And you got the right flavor Make sure no one puts on SPF 50 yeah you don't want that that's basically the culture yeah that's like that's like an offensive lineman wearing sleeves in the winter fact can't do it yeah we're tougher than the sun yeah the fucking sun all right let's do uh andy staples and then we have our mount rushmore with andy staples before that we got a quick word from our sponsor yeah we got brand new sponsor new sponsor alert hank Hell yeah It's Whatnot This is a great sponsor It's Whatnot

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And now, here is Andy Staples.

Okay, we now welcome on our very good friend.

It is Andy Staples from The Athletic. You can listen to him on his podcast.
Great podcast, The Andy Staples Show. He is here to talk a little college football, and we're going to do a Mount Rushmore.
Mount Rushmore of college football traditions. So let's start with the chaos that has gone down the last week and a half.
It feels like the dust has settled. Tell me if I'm right.
Let's start here. It feels like we're now at a point where half of the Pac-12 is begging the Big Ten to get in.
Half of the Pac-12 is going to form a pseudo-alliance with the Big 12. The ACC is very nervous, but they have a TV contract that's binding them all together.
The SEC and Big Ten are just sitting back being like we kind of run this shit now you forgot notre dame notre dame and notre dame has a standing invitation to do whatever the hell notre dame wants everywhere yeah so so you got that yes that's exactly what's going on right now i don't know how much the dust is settled i was talking to somebody the other day who who typically knows things and they pointed out you don't know how many important people are on vacation right now like that's true you understand how many of these people are in europe right now i'm like oh so so what you're telling me is this this calming is not that everything's just actually calming down they haven't flown home yet right right so once they get home we might have another flurry of chess pieces being moved across the board and uh geography not mattering anymore to college football no so no the big the big 12 that's the one i keep watching because something has to happen with the pac-12 and the big 12 one way or the other somebody's got to raid somebody. I would think unless the PAC 12 can just figure out a way to stay with the 10 they've got.

But I can't imagine like if you're Oregon or Washington, why you would do anything that

would cause you to, to make a long-term agreement with anybody. Right.
And so like the big 12,

let's say, let's say the big 12 tribe, because I, what I think the big 12 should do is go to Oregon, Washington and be like, listen, I know you guys want to be in the pack 10. We get it.
So here's what we're going to do. You're going to come with us and we're going to put a clause in your deal.
That just says you want out fine. You're out.
If the big tenant is, you know, the coaches have those contracts where if their alma mater calls, they can get out without paying a buyout. Lane Kiffin, yeah, his dream job.
Yeah, same thing, dream job buyout or dream job clause. So do that, and you get them, and then you'll get Utah and Colorado, and you'll get whoever else you want from that league.
I mean, that league would really stretch. I mean, we go from West Virginia down to Orlando, over to Oregon, down to Arizona.
I mean, it would be crazy. So geography means absolutely zero right now.
Yeah. So what do you think is the next shoe to drop? If you were to place a bet, what school do you think is going to announce a shift in conference? Who's going to be the next one up? It's either somebody going to the Big 12 from the pack 12 or somebody going to the pack 12 from the big 12 and i just i i keep coming back to the big 12 presidents athletic directors all those people they have been through every possible scenario in realignment like they've been about to implode the big 12 has been clinically dead at a couple different points along the way and then they've had their school stolen and then they've added school so like They've been about to implode.
The Big 12 has been clinically dead at a couple of different points along the way. And then they've had their school stolen and then they've added school.
So like they've been through everything. The Pac-12 people up until about a week and a half ago were like, well, this will never happen to us.
So I got to trust the people with some reps to get some stuff done. So Big 12 has their media days this week.
They have a new commissioner named Brett Y yormark who was at rock nation uh jay-z's company he was the ceo of the brooklyn nets for a while like he hasn't done anything public yet i can imagine during his big speech at big 12 media days they just start playing some music and and kyle whittingham runs in and like we got utah yeah i i love it too because the big 12 has, like you said, has been dead at some points, but now they are, I think they are firmly in number three most stable spot because it's a bunch of schools that have basically been called dead, that have been told that they're not wanted by anyone else, and that has bound them all together where they're like you know we have the loyalty of

being the team that the schools that everyone's like now we don't want you in the sec we don't want you the big 10 we don't want you like here there or other where they they basically are as unified as they could be outside of obviously the big 10 and sec and with the exception of kansas and football they're all pretty good yeah like even the ones they're adding ucf houston and Cincinnati BYU.

Like, they're pretty good at football.

So you can imagine them saying, look, Hey, we're pretty strong through the middle here. You're not going to lose any of us and we're not going to bail on you.
So, I mean, that's my pitch. If I'm talking to Utah and to Colorado and Oregon and Washington, because I do think those schools in the PAC 12, like if you're, if you're Utah, you're going to be side-eyeing Oregon the entire time from now until something happens with the big 10.
And I don't know what happens with the big 10 until Notre Dame makes a decision. Right.
It feels like that's what, that's what the next shoe to drop with them would be is they want to see if Notre Dame wants to join Notre Dame wants to see hey are we going to be denied access to the postseason which if I'm the SEC in the Big Ten both of which would take Notre Dame I think the Big Ten would get them but there's no reason to give any special carve out to Notre Dame now right so if Notre Dame loses you know has their vote diluted for the play, they're going to join a conference. And I've been the one saying all along, they don't need to join a conference at all.
The second this happened the other day with the Big Ten adding USC and UCLA, I was like, okay, now this is it. This is when Notre Dame has to join a conference.
I think you're right. If it becomes a factor in the college football playoff, that's what's going to push them over the edge because they're not going to sit and throw away their chances at meaningful postseason games.
That will force them to pick a side on this. But I feel like Notre Dame, there's no clock ticking on Notre Dame, right? No.
At any point, they could just decide, okay, yeah, we'll join the Big Ten. And the Big Ten would open their arms and be like, yes, please, thank you, Notre Dame.
Yeah, it's kind of like, I think it was David Lee Roth once said, like, Sammy Hagar throws a party, I am the party. Notre Dame can just go do what it wants because they're going to bring a huge audience.
I did a TV rating story the other day and like 67 of 68 rated games got over a million viewers. They had 15 games that had over 5 million viewers in a six-year period.
Like, they can write their ticket anywhere because nobody brings an audience like them because people who love them watch them, people who hate them watch them. Like, anytime I mention Notre Dame on Twitter or in a story, I get somebody going, who cares what you do? Because when I mention NC State, you don't say anything to me.
Right, right. And so I've always thought, obviously, Notre Dame can do whatever they want.
This shift, not only because of the playoff, which is an interesting dynamic, too, because the ACC kind of screwed over Notre Dame when they didn't want to expand the playoff. Remember when Notre Dame was like, we'll happily give up a bye, any chance of a bye, as long as we have this path? The big thing for Notre Dame has always been they want to play everywhere.
They want to play across America because that's where they can't recruit. They can't be Notre Dame by recruiting just in their backyard.
So the UCLA-USC thing, now you can play Maryland, New Jersey, all the way out in California. It opens it up a little bit where it's not just if you join the Big Ten, you're only playing in your backyard.
That's why it kind of shifts the dynamic where they could still add a game in Texas. They could play Navy down in Texas.
Or go play TCU or somebody like that. Yeah, exactly.
They want to play everywhere because they have to recruit from everywhere. And now they can play in L.A.
being in the Big Ten. Right.
And, I mean, they were playing in L.A. every other year anyway.
Right now they can play in LA being in the big 10.

Right.

And I mean, they were playing in LA every other year anyway,

right?

They can play in LA every year now.

Right.

That,

that could be a,

you know,

they probably aren't going to be,

it's interesting because as powerful as they are,

they can't go into either the big 10 or the sec and dictate terms like that.

But I do think if the big 10 wanted to lure them,

I think they'd probably say,

well, you know, in even years you can play USC on the road and on odd years you can play UCLA on the road. Right.
And that would satisfy them. Like that's why they're playing Stanford every year now.
It's not because they have this storied rivalry with Stanford, but it has become a good rivalry. They would be getting some rivalries back if they joined the Big Ten, Michigan State, Michigan, Purdue, teams that they've played a ton of times over the years.
So it makes a little too much sense. And so I just, you know, at this point, I'm assuming it's going to happen.
I just have no clue when. So what's the implication going to be for like the second tier conferences out there? Are they going to start gobbling? Like is Kansas going to stick around in the Big 12 for football forever? Or is that something where a second-tier conference could be like, okay, we're going to take your dogshit teams that you don't really want anyways? Or what's going to happen with those other conferences that aren't part of the realignment discussion? Well, I think Kansas hangs as long as they can in the Big 12.
Big 12 could be, like Big Cats, the Big 12 could be the number three conference. The ACC is kind of sitting in there right now because they've got Clemson and because they've got some good brands in Florida State and Miami and North Carolina and Virginia Tech, Virginia.
But we don't know what's going to happen with the ACC because they are locked in to a bad TV deal for the next 14 years. And they have what's called a grant of rights.
And what that is, is the schools have agreed to give their media rights to the conference. So any game emanating from their campus, the rights to televise that game belong to the conference until 2036.
And so these schools have lawyers, Clemson, Miami, Florida State, North Carolina. There are people looking into how do we break this thing? Right.
And so far, nobody knows how. But the longer this goes and the more desperate they get, because right now they are staring down the barrel at 14 years of schools in the SEC and the Big Ten, making at least double what they make and maybe more because they're going to get more bites at the apple.
They're going to have new, new, new TV deals before this other thing ends. So if you're Clemson, you are freaking out right now.
So you got that, that issue at play. You've got the big 12 and the pack 12.
And if you're the pack 12, what you're trying to do is just keep everybody together. And maybe you try to add a couple of schools.
I would, if I'm then I try to take something from the big 12. And if I were those Big 12 schools, I would try to resist and then try to get my league to take something from them.
So it's a real – it's kind of like in the movies when everybody's got a gun pointed at each other. Can they trade schools? Is that something that the Pac-12 and the Big 12 can do? I wish.
That would be awesome. Yeah.
Listen, we feel like Kansas is more of a Pac-12 school.

So we're sliding them over and we'll take Utah.

How's that sound?

Yeah, the Arizona schools work in the Big 12.

So I did a bad job of starting this whole thing and you brought up the TV rights. That's really what this is all about, right? This has all started, and the shakeup is because live sports are the last thing that TV networks can hang their hat on

and say, this is ours, and there's nothing like it.

You can have a million shows, but live sports, especially football, will always be king.

And the Pac-12 did a terrible job.

Larry Scott, we've talked about on this show, completely screwed them over. The ACC is stuck in a terrible situation with their programming.
SEC is jumping to ESPN. And the Big Ten making this move is essentially just tearing down the Pac-12 and saying, we're going to own the entire Saturday on Fox.
And so is it simplistic to say this is all driven by just TV and it's TV execs basically saying, like, we want to pay this amount of money in the end. If you add these schools or these schools, Texas and Oklahoma, USC and UCLA, it goes from 500 million to a billion or whatever.
That's exactly what it is. So the Big Ten is negotiating a new TV deal right now that starts next July and we'll see what they end up doing.
But Fox is going to get the biggest chunk of it. Fox is also their partner in the Big Ten network.
Fox is advising them on where to sell the other packages. So what they're going to sell to ESPN or if they're going to sell something to CBS or NBC or Apple, we don't know yet.
But we know it gets a lot more valuable with these other entities.

Now, my guess is they keep negotiating.

They would probably like to have that next lineup set before they agree on this thing.

But I don't think they have to.

You can just go into negotiations and say, well, here's what we have now.

Let's figure out a number for that.

And let's say later we add Notre Dame and another school.

What number is that?

And you can have a contingency plan for if you do that.

Thank you. out a number for that and let's say later we add notre dame and another school what what numbers that right and you can you can have a contingency plan for if you do that and so i think they don't have to have their membership completely set before they agree on this deal which should be probably the next couple months but it is all tv this all started the wheels of this started in 1984 when the supreme court ruled that the NCAA couldn't control football TV anymore.
And the conferences all started selling it on their own. So that's what it is.
And the Big Ten and the SEC have sucked up so much oxygen. They have their own gravity right now.
And that's it. When the SEC took Texas and Oklahoma last year, I started calling it the Power two instead of the power five and that's that's really what it's going to be they're going to be the ones that matter you can have a playoff with just their schools yeah and and the rest of the public doesn't really care like people i would i would want clemson to have access to the playoff in oklahoma state and west virginia and and oregon and washington but most of the viewing public doesn't care.
It's funny that you put it that way with the Supreme Court. It's like the domino meme where it's like Supreme Court decision, 1984.
And then the last one is Arch Manning's playing in Austin. That's in the SEC.
Yeah, in the SEC. Yeah, which is probably a big reason why he decided to go to Texas.
Yeah, yeah, definitely. And it all sucks.
I've said it. It sucks.
I wish that it stayed more regional. I think that the rivalries, the geography, the differences in each league was always what made college football great.
But I've also taken a perspective of it felt inevitable. And it felt like as soon as Texas and Oklahoma did that, you knew the Big Ten was going to counter.
And I also know I'm speaking from a spot of some privilege in that Wisconsin's safe in the Big Ten because I've had people be like, what if you were a fan of a Pittsburgh or an Oklahoma State? I always throw out Oklahoma State. I don't know why.
I'd be mad. Because they're really good and they're getting kind of screwed in this.
Yeah, and they're getting screwed, right. I'd be mad.
I'd be freaking out. I'd be pissed off.
So I acknowledge that part. Let me ask you this.
This is

what I've been thinking about. So we talked

about Kansas. What are the

chances like a Kansas,

a Duke, maybe even Stanford

at some point in the next decade

are like, it's just, it doesn't

make sense for us to play football.

It's going to be interesting to see that because I don't

think they're losing money on football right now. Right.
But if they losing money on football right now right but if they get kicked out of leagues yeah if they get kicked out of leagues like if they now the acc breaks up and duke is just sitting there like if north carolina goes to the big 10 and duke's sitting there like what the hell or if every everyone in the pac-12 blows up and stanford's sitting there and like we could play you know gonzaga and and West Coast Conference or like Kansas being like, all right, what if we just joined the

Big Ten for basketball and said, we're not going to add a like, could you see that happening

where a couple of these programs that have, you know, good athletic departments being

like football as much as we want to play it, it just doesn't make a lot of sense anymore.

If it stops making the money and here's the thing, it's still making a lot of these schools money even though you might think it's not like kansas football brings in more than kansas basketball right because you get if we talk about what the tv what the big 12's contract is worth and what percentage of that is basketball and what percentage that's football so yeah if they if they were kicked out of leagues yes and here's the other thing that i think is going to happen which might accelerate what you were just talking about i think the governance is going to change instead of there being one organization that handles all sports there will be an organization that handles football right and the ncaa might handle all the other sports or the ncaa might handle certain sports and then other sports kind of have their own governance too because guys you know like college rodeo has its own governing body college water skiing we didn't know that has its own no governing body no that college rodeo i need a new sport to get into they just put college kids out there on like giant bulls and shit oh yeah oh yeah i gotta start watching it oh they're still wrestling and then the water skiing is crazy so like lou Louisiana Monroe is like the Alabama of water skiing.

That's amazing.

They're like bringing in kids from Europe to water ski.

So you got,

you got some dude from Denmark flying into Monroe,

Louisiana,

like,

Oh,

I live here now.

Are they,

are they so good that they're bad for college water skiing?

Probably like UConn women's basketball.

They're ruining water skiing.

Yeah.

The Gino or I am a water skiing.

I haven't really had a chance to interview him yet.

But going back to what big cat was talking about,

taking like some of the,

Thank you. UConn women's basketball.
They're ruining water skiing. Yeah, the Gino Auriemma of water skiing.

I haven't really had a chance to interview him yet. But going back to what Big Cat was talking about,

taking some of the other teams that get forgotten about,

your Vanderbilts, right?

You could look at it from the perspective of

because the TV contracts are so big,

Vanderbilt, their football team is making money

because of the rest of the SEC.

Couldn't the rest of the SEC be like,

hey, we don't need these nerds. Why do we continue to give them? This is the most common question I get.
I have never heard once anybody suggest, who's actually in a decision-making position, kicking anybody out of the league. Right.
And I think they tread carefully around that because nobody wants to think about, well, if I lose too many games or my team loses too many games, they might get tossed the the by the way the other most common question i get is when are they going to do promotion and relegation like english which would work which would be so much fun but yeah nobody's going to do it right it means here's your budget if you finish in the top 17 here's your budget if you finish in the bottom three right uh but they're not going to do that the bandy thing the and you hear what some of the big 10 schools were well why don't why don't they just kick them out i don't think it's that easy to kick them out i think you have to do something really bad to get kicked out now maybe they change the rules down the road but i think we're pretty far away from anything like that i think there'll be more adding before there's any sort of calling. The main point of why they'll never kick anyone out, like my hypothetical was more Duke doesn't get kicked out, the ACC doesn't exist.
Like Stanford doesn't get kicked out, half of the Pac-12 goes to the Big Ten, half of the Pac-12 goes to the Big 12, and they're stuck being like, well, what the fuck? Maryland owes the Big Ten millions and millions and millions of dollars. They're not getting kicked out.
Maryland and Rutgers, and you could even make the argument for Mizzou, they might have been the greatest, the luckiest schools in the world to get in when they got in. They came along at the perfect time because the reason Rutgers and Maryland are in the Big Ten and the reason Missouri's in the SEC is when those leagues were expanding at that time.
Not now, at that time. It was enhancing the Big Ten network, starting the SEC network.
You were looking to acquire territory, cable homes that you could then charge like $1.40 a month for your conference network. That's what that was.
So the reason the SEC went into Missouri instead of saying Florida State or Clemson, come on in, was they already had schools in South Carolina and Florida. So they went to Missouri and you get the St.
Louis market and the KC market and all those subscribers have to pay for your network. Ditto for Maryland, ditto for Rutgers and the Big Ten.
So and it's also why North Carolina and Virginia are still very coveted because they would have been very coveted then to Big Ten and SEC still making money off the cable network. So for either of those leagues, either of those schools would be very nice to add because those are the two biggest states that don't have an SEC or a Big Ten school.
So there's money in that, too. So how did it work with the ACC that they got locked into this contract that doesn't you said 2036? It's 2036.
They panicked. So they they lost Maryland.
Maryland was a charter member of the ACC. They lose them to the Big Ten.
At the time, they all wanted to stay together like they were worried about the league just getting torn apart by the big 10 that was cherry pick what it wanted maybe the sec would take somebody and then they'd be left with with not a lot of value so they basically said let's all figure this out let's find a way that nobody can pick us apart and so in 2013 they signed this grant of rights they bring in notre dame to do its to do its other sports in the ACC and then play five games a year against ACC schools. And then they renewed it in 2016 when they extended their TV contract to create the ACC network.
So that's when they renewed it for 20 years. And at the time, it was like, hey, we signed this great deal.
We're together forever. Oh, wait, we got to get the same amount of money for 20 years that that reality set in about three years into the deal and then they were like oh crap what have we done that just seems so excessive to me to have that long of a contract in anything in life yeah like besides a marriage it doesn't exist maybe when you buy a house and usually when you buy a house after like three years you're like like, wow.
You refinance. It's Bobby Bonilla.

Yeah.

It's like, it's just these, it's all this, like Larry Scott ruined the Pac-12.

I disagree with that, Big Cat.

Because now he didn't do the greatest job in the world.

He certainly wasted the conference's money building some palatial headquarters in downtown San Francisco.

He certainly paid himself a lot.

But Larry Scott never had an ability to make more people on the West Coast

care about college football, which is the Pac-12's biggest problem.

But he made it a lot harder for anyone to watch the games,

which went reverse.

I agree with you.

To make people care more, hard task.

To make people care less, he accomplished that.

The Pac-12 network is very hard to find. I live in Florida.
I can't get it anywhere. Neither can I.
It's crazy. It is amazing how that works.
The ACC, they were so scared and wanted security so badly that they were willing to sign anything at that point. This, you know, there's talk out there that the ACC and the Pac-12 were talking about a loose agreement.
I'm using air quotes there. But it kind of sounds like they basically share the ACC network, which I'd be pissed if I were the ACC.
And if on the Pac-12, like, am I getting any money out of that? Or is the ACC going to get the money? Right. It just seems like we're definitely going towards a place where it's football completely separated.
Right. And certain basketball schools are obviously separated, too, because with the geographic issues that we have now, it makes no sense for the non-revenue sports to be lumped in this whole thing.
So at some point, it's going to be like, I wouldn't be surprised if there was like a corporation that started a league like Nike, like Oregon's like, okay, we're going to do the Nike league and we're going to invite, you know, all the former Pac-12 schools that we wanted, poach some from the Big 12, and that will be the Nike conference. Like at some point, it's going to be like completely or partially separated from the actual schools themselves.
Yeah. Yeah.
And I think that's think that's sort of the fear and kind of feels a little bit inevitable because some of the issues that they're having now with the name image likeness stuff and all the different lawsuits that they've been dragged into in federal court, it's gotten to the point where their easiest solution is probably make the revenue sport athletes employees and then do a collective bargaining agreement with them that would be that they can actually make some rules and actually enforce them if they did that but if you do that are they students do they have to be students does it matter i mean so it you get into that sort of thing where it basically you could be licensing the name of the university now i still think people are going to watch it i'm. I'm with you, Big Cat.
I've heard you talk about this a bunch of times. And my thing to people, especially where I live in the South, what the hell else are you going to do on a Saturday? Right.
I'm going to watch it. Like, I'm going to be mad.
Like I said, the realignment sucks. But at the end of the day, I'm going to still watch it.
And that's the same thing I feel with NIL when people are like, oh, the NIL is going to ruin college football. It's like, you're still going to watch it on Saturday.
If Ohio State is playing Penn State at 8 p.m. on Saturday night, you're going to watch.
I'm sorry, but it doesn't matter if the starting quarterback is getting paid $10 million because he signed an eSports contract with FaZe Clan. It doesn't matter.
It's just not like you're going to keep watching it. And it's very similar to whenever the NFL does something and people bitch and moan.
It's like, guess what you're doing on Sunday? We see the ratings. You can say whatever you want.
We know what you're doing. Right.
And yeah, with college football, as long as the guys in the jerseys that you like beat the guys in the jerseys you don't like, you're going to be happy. Yeah, as long as you can get drunk in a parking lot or a game on Saturday with your closest friends that you've been drinking beers with for 30 years, as long as you can still do that, then you're going to still show up and go to the games.
Doesn't matter who you're playing. All right, I had one last one, and then we'll do the Mount Rushmore.
So it's the Roback question. Use codeack or sorry use code take for 20 off your first purchase r-h-o-b-a-c-k.com roback.com use code take great qzips hoodies polos everything you need roback.com use code take for 20 off your first purchase all right so give us your uh this is we're not holding you to it okay but us the, like, dominoes that you have heard might fall that would be like, wow, this is crazy.
Because I'll throw one out there. I heard North Carolina, the Big Ten is like, you know, could be a possibility.
That one shocked me a little. But I guess it shouldn't because nothing should shock me.
North Carolina would be the biggest tug of war because the Big Ten and the SEC both want them. Right.
Badly. Right.
That's the one. Like their former chancellor came out the other day and said they could have joined the SEC in 2010 or 2011-12-ish when they took Texas A&M and Missouri.
So, and I believe that 100%. North Carolina has long been coveted by the Big Ten and the SEC.
Virginia is another one. Like I always thought if the SEC were going to take a school in Virginia to be Virginia Tech, they would like Virginia, but the Big Ten would also like Virginia.
Right. Right.
So what do you think? Give us the wildest one you've heard or wherever there's smoke that you see like, hey, this wouldn't be that crazy if this happened. The wildest one I've heard, and I don't know if this is something they can pull off, but you go back in the history of realignment.

So remember when the Pac-10 tried to take half the Big 12?

That originated with some very loose discussions about potentially the two leagues pooling their TV rights and selling them as one.

And eventually Larry Scott goes, you know what?

If I just steal their best teams, we're going to need a better TV deal.

Let's just do that. And it didn't work because texas was playing one one group against the other but when i hear this acc talking to the pac-12 about this loose arrangement i'm like huh you know what the acc could do they could just steal what's left of the pack the best of what's left in the the pack.
That makes no sense to have a bunch of schools on the Atlantic coast.

You know, by the way, you're called the Atlantic coast conference.

And then you take a bunch of schools on the Pacific coast,

but as ideas go,

like taking Oregon and Washington and maybe Utah and Colorado or something

like, like, that's not the worst idea.

No, I like that one.

It's not the coastal conference.

Yeah.

That would be good. And then Notre Dame would fully join the ACC.
No, I like that one. It's not the coastal conference.

And then Notre Dame would fully join the ACC because they could play in every state.

Because they could play in every state.

The coastal elites.

Here's a school.

What if Syracuse, Syracuse to the Big Ten?

That's another lucky one.

Right now, we know the ACC.

That would mean that some Big Ten presidents

really believed it when they were traveling to New York and saw on the top of their cab Syracuse, New York's team. Yeah.
Yes. A lot of TVs in New York.
That's all I'm saying. A lot of TVs in New York and very few of them tuned to Syracuse.
Yes. Yes.
That's like Northwestern Chicago's team. I'm pretty sure the majority of people here are rooting for Notre Dame still.
So it is what it is. But, yeah, it's going to be crazy.
I don't know what the next big one is going to be. I'm hoping the Big Ten just keeps gobbling everything up, and I know that sounds terrible, but I also feel like we're going to eventually get to Big Ten and the SEC having 20 teams apiece, and I'd rather just get there now.
Because that's the other thing. As soon as this is the new normal, once we get a year or two past it, you'll forget it.
You know what I mean? Nebraska joining the Big Ten was crazy for a year, and then it was like, oh, yeah, now Nebraska's in the Big Ten. Well, that's like when Texas and Oklahoma left the Big 12.
They're like, they're leaving behind all that history in the Big 12. I'm like, the Big 12 started when I was a freshman in college.
It's not like it's been around forever. There's a couple rivalry games that suffer, but yeah, you're exactly right.
You start to get normalized to the new thing, and then it's just, so I want to get to the end game as fast as possible, and then just go from there. Yeah.
I'm with you, because this is going to be painful, this one in particular. The rest of them were we're bad you because this is going to be painful this one in particular the rest of them were bad enough there's going to be some people really kind of left by the wayside and it's going to suck and i would prefer if they could just get it over with you don't drag this out for three four years because it's it just makes it more painful right what about what about the other other conferences the small the max ofbelts? What happens to them? Hey, I don't know if you've been.
See, this is where those of us who are really in the weeds, we've been watching this. But Big Cat, especially, I'm surprised you aren't really in on this.
The Sunbelt has come up now. Oh, it's huge.
Sunbelt's massive. Coastal.
Use the domino effect of Texas and Oklahoma to go from number 10 to number 7. Yeah.
Out of JMU. JMU, about to go on a dominant run.
They got to get past the Mragin Cajuns. They got to get past Appy State.
They got to get past Marshall. Coastal.
I would say that division is up there with the ACC. Oh, yeah.
Well, Coastal Carolina, I mean, that Teal Turf Jamie Chadwell their coach they are fantastic that's that might be one of my favorite teams to watch in college football the fun belt needs to play more weeknight games because they do play like Thursday night games you'll watch it'll be like you know a million mile an hour wind in Appalachian State and no one can hit any any field goals but like that's credit to credit to the, I know that it's always sad and we joke about it when there's like 20 people in the stadium, but guess what? Again, you're watching on a Tuesday night because that's what is on. And every state that legalizes gambling increases viewership for those games.
Could something like that happen where a conference like the Sun Belt could pick up some of the schools, some of the bigger schools that get left out of the realignment? It's certainly possible if they're smart, because that's kind of what they did. Conference USA used to be considered more prestigious than the Sunbelt.
They just swiped a bunch of Conference USA this past year. That's how they got Southern Miss and Marshall.
That's what that was. It was them saying, look, this conference is not as good anymore.
Look how strong we've become in the meantime. Come on.
And that's kind of what the Big 12 could do to the ACC, I think, if things were to shake out that way. If that grant of rights gets broken in the ACC, all bets are off.
No telling what anybody's going to be doing at that point because it would

cause a massive panic at a bunch of schools and everybody just be running

in every direction.

Yeah.

I mean, a contract isn't really worth anything if you can't enforce it.

And if there are enough powerful schools that just decide, like in unison,

if you get like Clemson, UVA, Virginia Tech to all decide like at the same time, you know what? We're done with this contract. It would be tough to enforce anything on them.
It would be. Maybe that's the key.
Elon Musk needs to say he's going to buy all of college football and then have everyone lose their minds and be like, no, I'm backing out. I mean, they're basically doing the Super League just in two different versions.
No, it is. Midwestern Super League and Southern Super League.
Like that's the future. Everything will be a Super League.
Yeah. Super League's for everyone.
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I'm very interested to see where you go, Andy, here.

So it's me and PFT as a team, the Hank, Bubba, Jake team,

and then you.

You are our guest.

Jake doesn't have to leave to drop a deuce right now.

No, no, he's good.

His butt is great.

Yeah, don't jinx it.

Don't jinx it. Yeah, he very much could.
Listen, I'm going to tell you, Jake, I've never left a podcast to move my bowels. I guarantee you Marv Albert never left a broadcast.
Ooh. Yeah.
Pre-game meals are different. Don't worry.
I'm not even filling cheesesteaks before a broadcast. Okay.
You've got to want it more than that not as important no that's not true okay all right you put yourself in that pickle yeah um all right andy you want to start or you want to tell anyone else to start whatever you want to do here's my thing if i start i'm gonna you know who i'm gonna take well i'm gonna be i'm gonna be that guy you're gonna pander going to tell you right now, you have none of our picks. Oh, okay, fine.
Then I will do it. Okay.
I'll take Jump Around. Great.
You don't have any of our picks. That's great.
Oh, wow. All right.
All right. That's a great pick.
Shout out Jump Around. I always tell this story, but you know they tried to ban it my freshman year because they said it was like a hazard for the journalists in the press box.
You can hear the bolts creaking in the press box. How is that not one of your picks? What? How is that not one of your picks? Because there's a lot of great traditions in college football.
We've got a lot of things. Because I also knew that someone else was going to take it.
All right, we'll go with our first pick. That's your college tradition.
We have a strong first pick. All right, fine.
You want my favorite college tradition, and PFT agrees with this one. We talked beforehand.
Betting the over in Bedlam no matter what. Yeah.
No matter what. Oklahoma and Oklahoma State play, you're betting the over.
I was at the one where your Kyler started for Oklahoma. I thought my face was going to melt off.
It's the best. Taylor Cornelius throwing.
There's a wide open guy in that two-point conversion. He just misses.
It was amazing. And the best one, I got to look up the year.
Remember the year when there was a score right at the end? They cut into Tyreek Hill.

There was that one.

Yeah, they screwed up.

It screwed up everything.

I think it screwed up the spread and maybe the over-under.

I think it was the year that there was no points in the first quarter,

and then it just all hell broke loose.

But that's why it's the best, because I could just sit there and watch Bedlam

and know you're never out of it, because it's going to be Bedlam.

At some point, it will be Bedlam. I think both teams' defenses go into the game knowing like hey we're going to fuck a lot of stuff up.
Just wait. It's going to happen.
Just don't be the last team to fuck up. Exactly.
Make one stop in the fourth quarter and you can win this game. Yeah I think it was.
Let's see. I'll find it.
And then the thing I always love about that game is the sky in Oklahoma in Stillwater especially it's the blackest sky you'll ever see in your life. Yeah.
And sometimes there's an ice storm. Yes.
When it's cold and you're like, oh, is this going to affect it? Nope. Points.
I'm sure someone, some fucking nerd's going to tweet at me. Be like the over under is like, you know, two and two and 10 in the last 12 years.
Still got to bet it. Don't give a fuck.
Mike Gundy, his mullet is always perfectly feathered before that game.

The whole thing is just the best.

The best.

Okay, you guys had that, huh?

Yeah, we did.

Oh, wow.

Okay.

Nice.

We're going to go, this might be controversial,

we're going to go with tailgating.

Oh, drinking beer.

Just tailgating.

The general concept of tailgating.

Okay.

That's my favorite, yeah. Great college football tradition.
Especially in New York City where there are fans of every team. Yes.
Yeah, we have that one too later on. And then second, neck.
Oh, yeah. Good pick.
Very nice. We had neck also.
Crossing that one off my list now. I think it's an easy one here for round two.
Yeah. Singing after the game in Army-Navy.
Yep. game in Army-Navy.
Sorry you guys aren't as patriotic as me and Big Cat are. But, I mean, you see that and you cry.
Winners sing last. You chose betting the most.
No, winners sing first. I'm an idiot.
Winners sing first. Yes.
That's right. Yes.
That's the best. It is the best.
Isn't it Sing Second? Is it Sing Second? I think it's Sing Second. It's Sing Second.
It's bad for our tradition here that we don't know. I think they're all winners out there, Andy, because they're fine, outstanding young men that are going to serve this country.
Well, they've gotten up very early in the morning their whole freshman year, so whatever flowers we can give them, absolutely. It's winner Sing Second.
Hank, what did you say? What was your snide comment? No, no, no, no.

I'm done.

I didn't hear him.

No, he just made snide comments.

It was probably something anti-military.

Questioning PFT's patriotism.

I know.

Of course.

Of course.

Okay.

All right.

You have two now, Andy.

All right.

I'm going to go with run Ralphie.

Okay.

Okay.

I spoke to one of the people who came up with the idea of running Ralphie at Colorado,

and it was exactly what you think would be a bunch of frat boys sitting around going you know that'd be cool if we were at a live buffalo on a field yeah and so one of the one of them had a friend who had a dad whose dad was a bison farmer and they didn't even like i asked the guy i was like so did you know that if he gave you a male that the male would probably kill you and did you ask for a female? He's like, no, we didn't know that. We didn't know that.
Thank God he gave us a female. So, yeah, that's why you have a live, basically 1,200-pound animal that can run faster than Usain Bolt.
Yeah. Being handled by six college kids who are basically hanging on for dear life.
And it's also amazing. It's a great pick, too, for our previous discussion about traditions and everything, because, like, I do miss the Colorado-Nebraska game.
They did play the series, I think, maybe it was two years ago, three years ago, and it was great to see those colors out there, but it also shows you what's happened to college football, and the change just keeps happening, where, like, I bet you if you asked a kid right now in his 20s like you know you know Nebraska and Colorado had like an awesome rivalry they'd be like what they haven't been in the same conference in forever I know and they'd have no idea so it's sort of like when I'm going back to the Texas Oklahoma thing the big 12 I remember I was arguing with somebody during some period of realignment and they're like they're like well Texas and Oklahoma and oklahoma they wouldn't play each other if they weren't the same conference i'm like they did it for a hundred years right right right right come on all right so my next one the boys uh went with the the very general concept of tailgating which is which is excellent getting gathering with your friends and drinking thank you drinking i'm gonna I should go a little more specific. Okay.
The Vol Navy at Tennessee.

Okay. The Vol Navy at Tennessee.
Okay. Because tailgating is excellent.
Tailgating on a boat is slime. Sailgating.
Yes. So you're saying it's just not even the same out in Washington.
It's probably the same out in Washington. You're just richer.
Right. But no, I'm saying like Tennessee has Washington beat easily because yeah, it just means more.
Yeah. And they also just they happen to put salt on their food in Tennessee.
Yeah. And in Washington everything's like you get you're lucky if you get a little squeeze of lemon juice.
Yeah. On your pregame.
Maybe a little tomato for your Washington fans. Let's not let's not completely besmirch them.
Washington and Oregon fans, as Pac-12 fans go, they get after it. They absolutely get after it.
It's not like, I remember the first time I went to a game at Stanford and we turned into the parking lots, and the first thing I see is a table with like three bottles of Chardonnay on it. I was like, I, I don't, this doesn't compute, but the Washington fans do get after it.
So I don't want to, I don't want them to think that we're not. Yeah.
We don't think they can party, but they can't party like Tennessee people. Yeah.
I went to the apple cup this year and the apple cup in, in Washington was fantastic. The best part about the tailgating was there's this giant hill that has like a couple trees on it.
And that's where all the guys go to pee. So you just pee on a hill.
And when it's raining outside, which it usually is because it's November in Washington, like 50% of the guys that are peeing on this hill just slip and fall down the hill into a stream of their own piss. That is tremendous.
That's like watching the Grove at Ole Miss, watching everybody in their four-inch heels trying to stand in line for the port-a-potty and just sink into the mud. Yes.
And I should say, Washington, since we're doing Washington and we're complimenting them, the craziest TV angles ever, ever, both basketball and football, And I have a simple brain. If you have a good saying, I will always think you're like a step away from being all the way back.
And then being able to say Purple Rain, R-E-I-G-N, is awesome. That's going to be sick when they're back.
They always have an awesome first-round draft pick, too, at Washington. Right, yeah, cornerback or quarterback.
Or like a defensive like a former high school running back vita vea yes i was in knoxville in 2015 they lost a heartbreaker like i think it was overtime double overtime maybe to oklahoma big game night game crazy atmosphere they lose in heartbreaking fashion and we are at the bars like on main street obviously everyone was deflated but Rocky Top comes on, everyone is depressed, but they can't not sing it. So I was literally like, it's going to good old Rocky Top.
But they're heartbroken. It was so funny.
Sad Rocky Top. Oh, man.
Sad Rocky Top. Half bear.
All right. I think, PFT, we should go with when you text me back, the second one.
and then I'll do the third one. Yeah, that's good.
Okay. Go for it.
The second one from my second text to you. Yes.
Texas being back. Yep.
One of the best traditions. Texas being back is every year.
Yep. Usually, like, late September, Texas is back.
Who just will it into existence? They're back early this year. Yeah.
No, they're really back. Yeah.
They're really back.

Well, they're pre-back because they're back in like two years, but they're already.

They're back pending Art signing a piece of paper in December.

Yes, exactly.

Right.

But it's just, you know, the discussion in and around Texas, are they back?

They're back.

And then to be like, maybe they're not back.

It's just my favorite.

You know, it's just every year when the leaves turn,

we do the same song and dance and it always feels good.

I'm with you on that.

I gave up on the whole Texas.

I got fooled a few times.

When I went from being a beat writer who just covered one school

to covering more schools and would go to Texas

and you'd sit in Matt Brown's office and he explained why, this is why it didn't work last year, but we've made some changes this year and it's definitely going to work. I'd be like, oh yeah.
Because you're looking around that place going, how could they not be good? Right. How can these people not be good? But they fooled me enough times that I really need to see it.
Like I need to see them in the playoff before I believe anything. So at that point, that's your threshold.
If they make the playoff, they're officially back. Maybe win the Big 12 before they leave? I don't know.
I think at any point, if they're in the projected playoff, they're back. So if they make the playoff rankings in November? Yes.
My threshold is one big win in September. They're back.
Well, they're playing Alabama. I don't think they're going to get that big win this week.
If they lose by less than 21, they might be back. That is your big win? That might be back.
If they cover? Yeah. If they cover against Alabama, yeah.
They might be back. Yes.
That might be what makes them back right there. Okay.
What's your next pick? Our next pick is a team game. We know you guys only care about the betting and the players in the field.
For me and us and our team, college football traditions, it's bigger than that. So for our next pick, we're going with the Iowa wave to the hospital.
Oh, that was mine! We had that on our list too. That's a good pick for the kids.
That's good. That's for the kids.
That's what it's all about. For us.
Maybe not you guys. It is sweet.
It's very nice. I'm a father.
So is Andy. So it's always about the kids.
And then, yeah, of course. And then our last pick, memes.
Do you have kids? No. So you don't care about the kids.
I care. Did you make it your Mount Rushmore pick? I'm just asking.
We had it on our list. Yeah.
But you chose betting first. Well, because we want the kids.
We didn't want to patronize the children. I care about the kids first.
No, you didn't pick them first. Yeah, you didn't.
So that's actually incorrect. You picked getting hammered.
You went to the third round. Yeah, you tailgating.
So they went getting hammered, the troops, the kids. Yes.
No, we have the troops.. No, we have the troops.
We have the troops. Okay, sorry.
What was your second pick? Neck. Oh, okay.
Take some. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay. You have the kids.
Bestiality. You have to have the kids.
Bestiality, tailgating. Better late than never.
Yeah, and then the kids. Okay, got it.
No, that's, I know. Like, we actually talked about this beforehand.
We felt guilty, like, using the kids as a prop to be like, hey, everybody vote for us because

if you don't vote for us, you're not voting for the sick children.

That's not my favorite college football tradition.

You don't have to be at an Iowa football game to wave to the kids.

I wave to the kids all the time.

No, but it is a college football tradition.

It's a great one.

And then our last pick, Meem's pointing this out.

It was one of the things that ended COVID. One of the most electrifying.
Suryat? No. Enter Sandman.
Okay. Enter Sandman.
Electric every time. There was one early in September 2020 or 2021 or whatever.
And that was like the... They posted the video and everyone was like, this is an outrage.
How could you do this? Blah, blah, blah, blah. And that was kind of...
Yeah, that was a sick moment. Yeah.
And then, was that the game that North Carolina got killed? No. Yeah.
Yeah, North Carolina. Yeah, North Carolina lost.
Yeah, North Carolina lost. Okay, our last pick is going to be responsibly, responsibly trying to make all your money back on the late Hawaii game.
Responsibly. Responsibly.
It's like 11-35. Yeah.
And my favorite is because most of the time they weren't televised, finding the radio broadcast. And Robert Kikua, rest in peace, all-time broadcaster, that was also a nice welcome where it's like you got one eye open, you look at the Hawaii game, They're playing, you know, San Diego State or San Jose State or someone.
And you like look and you're like, all right, Hawaii's like they're like four and three. They're okay, but they've won all their games on the island.
And then trying to deduce like, all right. And you always have the June Jones, you know, Colt Brennan, Hawaii in your head.
Tommy Chang, even if you want to go all the way back. You always have that in your head, so you think there's going to be a lot of points.
It's just the best. It's the best.
There's no better way to have the... I sit there with my phone in my ear, laying in bed, trying to stay up for the rest of the Hawaii.
And you're doing it because Washington State killed you. Yeah, right.
Right. Something happened in the Pac-12 that has me heartbroken.
Exactly. The dominoes fell.

So I was going to give a shout to my alma mater

and go with We Are the Boys of Old Florida

where everybody sways in the third quarter.

And now they play I Won't Back Down after that

to honor Gainesville's own Tom Petty.

But I don't think that fits with the theme

of where everyone else is going.

So I'm going to go further north.

We're going to go to Morgantown, West Virginia. Burning couches in celebration.
Now, responsibly, make sure it's your couch. Or, you know, like when we were in college, our couches probably came from somebody else's garbage.
Like if someone put a couch out to get taken away by the garbage, we would take it first. So, like, I would have no qualms about burning one of those couches to celebrate a big win.
It's a lot of fun. I see nothing wrong with that.
It's extremely dangerous, but it's a lot of fun. So I went to school at James Madison, which is very close to West Virginia.
A lot of my friends went to West Virginia. A lot of West Virginia football fans are at JMU.
That was the team that they would follow as their big school. My freshman year, a house that I would go to frequently had two guys that were big West Virginia fans.
They took all their couches out, burned them in the front lawn, had a giant ass bonfire of couch, right? Not that common at a school that's not West Virginia to celebrate a West Virginia win. Fire department shows up and they're like, everybody get inside.
So we hide inside. Fire department comes to the door, knocks on the door.
and they're like everybody get inside so we hide inside fire department comes to the door knocks on the door and they're like uh yeah we need to talk to whoever the property owner here is and they're like those aren't our couches sir and the guy from the fire department walks inside looks around there's no furniture in the house because it's all out on the lawn on fire i think they got arrested for it and went to jail jail, but it was a great try. It was a great attempt.
That's not my weed on a couch. Yeah, they're like, somebody must have brought their furniture to my front yard and lit it on fire.
Hope you catch the bastards. That's fucking fantastic.
We have honorable mentions that we want to do. I had a couple.
You'll like this one, Andy.

I had people being mad about a Big Ten West team

being in the college football playoff conversation.

It seems like every year.

Every time.

A lot of mad about Iowa.

Whenever Wisconsin has racked up a few wins,

people get very upset about that.

I always enjoy that a lot.

I also had Maction. Just missed the cut, but Maction is one of my favorite.
The Beth Mowens 11 a.m. Big Ten game is also a favorite of mine.
Ease your way into, you know, like whenever they now obviously. Coming to you live from Champaign, Illinois.
Yeah, it's just something about it. It's like, you know, you go straight from the hype of game day and they're doing the, you know,'s going crazy, and then it's just boom, click right over,

and it's 8,000 people in Evanston.

I love it.

Hey, guess what?

The money's still the same on that game.

So I love always hearing her voice on Saturday morning.

Dovetailing off that, just Brett Bielema in general.

He's an institution in his own right.

I had the Penn State Whiteout. I know they stink in the whiteout games but it's still fun to watch um rolling the oaks or poisoning the oaks if you're harvey updike rolling tumors corner was was one of my honorable mentions but yeah tennessee losing a rivalry game yep that's always fun a lot happens all the time like like three times a year um and then yeah i think i think they took all the all the other ones i also had uh nebraska pretending that steroids didn't exist in the 80s and 90s but no more balloons no more balloons helium shortage this one is there's a couple that i had that are gone that i missed dearly uh oregon always losing to a more physical team in november uh that was last.
Yeah, but no, but like, oh, yeah, I guess it did. Who did they? Yeah, you're right.
Utah kicked the crap out of them. Yeah, Utah kicked the crap out of them twice.
Twice. Yeah, yeah.
All right, so that actually still does exist. I guess it was more when they were doing the Chip Kelly-style offense and they'd score a billion points.
Right, Stanford would beat them. Yeah, and then Stanford would kick the shit out of them.
Also, off of that, one of my favorite college football traditions is during the Chip Kelly era when you would bet on Oregon or the over, and it would be on the bottom line, and it would be Oregon 8-0, 14-15 left in the first quarter, and you'd be like, fuck yes. Like, we're off and running.
That was one of the most thrilling things you could watch. And then the last one I had that's no longer here, hopefully someday we get it back, Urban Meyer losing to a far inferior opponent and then citing medical issues.
They had just the craziest ones. I went back and looked at that Purdue game, that Iowa game.
They make no sense. Like, Ohio State doesn't lose those anymore.
Yeah. Yeah.
They almost had one to Maryland, too. Yeah, that was the one where Urban was collapsing out.
Yeah. He was, like, strapped to a Garnier.
He looked like Hugh Freeze by the end of it. Okay.
Any other honorable mentions for you? Yeah, I got a couple. I got the Cowbells at Mississippi State.
They actually spent a week at SEC Spring Meetings in Destin one year debating on whether they would allow the ringing of Cowbells at Mississippi State, they actually spent a week at SEC spring meetings in Destin one year debating on whether they would allow the ringing of Cowbells at Mississippi State. And Davis Wade Stadium allowed to have Cowbells.
It's a glorious thing. One of my favorite memories.
So back in 2014, they beat Auburn. They moved to number one in the poll.
The next day I'm flying home. I covered the game in Starkville and i was flying home out of birmingham and there's this guy sitting at my gate in the birmingham airport and i'm looking at him he's like messing with his hand and i see he's got a giant blister between his thumb and and index finger in that area and i go that's not from ringing a cowbell is it and he's like as a matter of fact it is it's my family cowbell i was like you people are amazing that's awesome that one i love by the way the idea of with all this conference realignment like if notre dame went to the sec or stanford ended up with the sec or something like the mix of fan bases like mississippi state cowbell in south bend indiana how mad Notre Dame alums would be like that kind of shit makes me laugh.
They get mad when their young fans stand up to cheer. Yes.
Yes. So I got mid I got midnight yell at Texas A&M as another honorable mention.
And then there are Buckeye stickers. Y'all probably were probably middle school when this came out.
That was my freshman year of college. There was one of those, this is sports center commercials.
And it has, I don't know if he was the actual Ohio state equipment manager or an actor playing him, but he's explaining how you get a Buckeye sticker. He's like, make a big hit.
Buckeye. He's catching touchdown pass.
Buckeye. And so I was, I was, I was a walk on at the time.
And like, that was the big joke in our scrub walk-on locker room. Anytime anybody did anything of significance, we just screamed, Buckeye.
So that will always have a place in my heart. I like that one.
I always thought you could use somebody as a decoy on that and take your shittiest player, load their helmet up with stickers, and then draw a ton of attention from the defense, and then have your best player with a completely brand new fresh helmet. I was thinking about that.
So we did a rewatch on the podcast of the 2015 Ohio State-Michigan State game. You mentioned that PFT.
That's genius because what if they took all the stickers off of Joey Bosa's helmet? Yeah, no one would know he's good. Would you even know it's Joey Bosa? Because it's November.
He has a clean helmet. It can't be Joey Bosa.
Right. Yeah.
Right. Like, this guy's a scrub.
He hasn't even been in the game yet. It's like the other Bosa brother that no one's talked about yet.
Yeah. Like, getting his first action.
Yeah. All right.
Well, this has been great. We'll do the worst uniforms another time, and we'll give people – I want to make people anxious about that because there's definitely some fan bases that they just hear us saying we're gonna do worse uniforms at some time and like you know mississippi state maybe indiana they're all like oh not us but yeah i can tell you i don't know if you're doing alternates or just the the normal uniforms if you're doing alternates my alma mater the university of florida is probably going to win yeah i know what you're talking about Texas&M game.
I know which one you're talking about. They're like, they're the Gators.
Let's make them look like actual alligators. Yes.
Yes. It was incredible.
They had green and brown. Yes.
It was crazy. It looks like you had like a ghillie suit on.
Yeah. Yeah, basically.
And they lost as you would would expect. Yes, of course.
I mean, there's a clear number

one for me. Maybe we can save it.
Yeah, save it.

Let's save it. Let's do it right.
We'll do it when you come

back on before the season kicks off.

Perfect. All right.
Andy, thank

you. Everyone go check out Andy.
Andy Staple's show.

He's on The Athletic. We appreciate your

time, and we're very

close. I think we're under 50 days to college football.

Cannot wait. I'd rather

talk about games than realignment. Yes, absolutely.
Let's go. All right.
Thanks, Andy. Okay.
That's the show. Let's do numbers.
Ready? Is everyone ready? Yeah. Is everyone ready? I'll take a few.
I'll take a few as well. Give me 14 and 18.
Well, no, mine is. I'm just doing two.
Oh, yeah. That's a few.
Two. Okay.
I was taking a few. I'm taking two different numbers.
Why don't you do two numbers, Hank? Give it a try. No, give it a try.
I'm giving my number to you. Go.
Two numbers. You get two numbers.
Oh, my God. Are you just standing us off right now? What is he doing? 98, 99.
I was thinking that's a lot. That's a lot.
That's like a lot of that. You just doubled up my, like.
Yeah, your chances. My game planning.
98, 99. Okay.
I don't know if that was the right move. What have you got? Six.
Six. Jake? 26.
Here we go. Hank's got 98 and 99.
I just froze. You did.
Well, it's like going to the ice cream store and someone being like, you get two cones. Yeah, you should be able to sample the numbers.
39. Danny Woodhead, right? Yeah.
No, 37. Sixth time.
Wait. I think he was 39.
He was 39 for the Pats. What the fuck, dude? What is wrong with you? He was definitely 39 for the Pats.
Are you okay? No, I'm not okay. He was definitely 39 for the Pats.
Who are you? We don't recognize you. Oh, my God.
He was 39. Shit.
I got to take it easy. That's like the moment of concern for me.
Yeah, no, that was very concerning. I'm concerned.
That's like if like if mr portenway forgot all three of the words that's what just happened to my brain

i'm officially on concerned watch okay thank you for your concern uh sharks along with raised skates and sawfish don't have bones their skeletons are made of cartilage love you guys talking away I don't know what I'm to say I'll say it anyway Today's another day to find you Shying away I'll be coming for your lover King Take on me Take me I'll be gone Without your own change Needless to say I'm on sentence But I'll be so a little way So the learn of life Is okay Say up to me It's no better to be safe than sorry Take on me Take me on, I'll be gone When I turn on me All the things that you say

Is it all I'm full Just to play my worries away You're all things I've got to remember Are you shying away I'll be coming for you anyway. Take on me.
Take me up. I'll be gone.
In a day