Ryen Russillo, Mt Rushmore Of Things We’ll Never Do And Brooks Koepka To The LIV Tour

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On today's Pardon My Take, we have our good friend Ryan Russillo, the start of Mount Rushmore season. We're doing the Mount Rushmore of things that we'll never do, things that we'll never do in our life.
It's also Team Mount Rushmore, a little twist on this year's Mount Rushmore.

People very excited about Team Mount Rushmore.

Everyone's pumped about it.

We also talk a little NBA draft with him, get some details on who's going to be the first

pick and who he likes in the draft.

We have Hot Seat, Cool Throne.

We're going to catch up on Stanley Cup Final.

Some other things happen in the sports world, and we'll finish with guys on chicks. Before we get to all of that, our friends at Visible, our presenting sponsor, what would you do with the extra money you'd save from switching to Visible? Well, you could do a lot because you could pay $60 with some carriers, but with Visible, it's as low as $25 a month.
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Boys!

Boys! slash pod. Okay single line wireless for as low as $25 a month today is Wednesday June 22nd and has there been any news with the live tour recently yeah um I saw that Colin Morikawa is not going to the live tour there was a lot of speculation people were throwing stones ahead of the of the time, and he is not going to live tour, even though he may have scrubbed his bio.
Max Homa tweeted out embarrassed faced emoji, money bag emoji, money bag emoji. He's also not going to the live.
We had Matt Fitzpatrick on the show today. He's going to be coming up on Friday's.
Pardon my take. U.S.
Open winner. Not going to live tour.
We didn't ask him. Well, we didn't ask him well we we alluded to and he was like nah guys no no no way so um i think that just wraps up you're forgetting in addition whoa abraham answer oh what a scumbag honest abe yeah um you know i've been thinking about the live tour a lot recently though and laid on me well so we were very mean Bryson DeChambeau We really Laid into him as a fat steroid addicted loser That had to pay for all his drugs And that's why he joined the live tour But I was thinking about He's a guy with a family He has to make what's in his best financial interest And if you want to play the game Where you find out where all the money's always coming from, you're never going to be 100% clean.
So I've decided that we should be nicer to Bryson about his choice. Because really, who's to say if somebody were to offer any of us that money? Yeah.
What we would or wouldn't do. And some of these guys have family members that are playing on this tour.
Right, you want to be with family. It's probably a cool thing.
Yeah. Just got married.

Yeah.

Have a family that they're working on.

Except for Charles Barkley.

He said that he would kill a relative if it meant that he could get $200 million to play golf on the Liv Tour.

Wow.

Actually, that's good for Aaron Rodgers.

They should sign Aaron Rodgers. Yes.

He would, too.

I mean, he's probably, knowing Aaron Rodgers, he's probably running the Liv Tour.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

So there might have been an addition in someone we know brooks kepka on the live tour now uh what are we gonna do well i don't we i feel like we have to act and act swiftly yeah so yeah i i think so too i think we i had an idea i think that um he's a member of the blake of the year club he is and just like uh just like Jay Moynihan, the president of the PGA Tour, who's coming down swiftly, I think what we have to do right now is suspend Brooks Koepka from Blake of the Year competition upon appeal. Yeah, so we're going to grant him an opportunity to appeal this suspension.
And by that, he's going to come on part of my take. And explain to us.
And then we'll reevaluate at that point. Right now, he's still available for Shake of the Year.
But we might consider reentering him into the Blake of the Year contest. But he just needs to explain it to us.
Yeah, so right now he's out. You know what? Credit to us.
We just came down. Can we clap? Can you guys clap? Can you guys clap? I think we're addicted to- We came down very hard on Brooks right there.
I feel like we're addicted to suspending people. Yeah.
It is great power, isn't it? It feels good. Yes, it is.
Yeah, he's suspended. Why are you chuckling like that? You want a taste? You want a sussy? You want a sussy you? Do you guys want a sussy? Oh, shit, you're right to sussy you're right yeah no it is weird because obviously people uh know our relationship with brooks and they're like asking us to um have a statement i don't know we're not close enough to brooks to be like hey dude don't do that yeah maybe i should tell him that be like hey we as part of my take would prefer you not to do this because i think we all agree we'd prefer him not to go to the live tour but uh we can't control him no we live is live live is live live and let live yeah and right now it looks like i feel like this is like 3d chess that uh that saudi arabia is playing right now they're driving up gas prices so high it's tough to not say yes to all the money that's promised to them on the live tour if they get gas up to like 20 a gallon colin morocow is going to go over there too yeah yeah so uh yeah i i'm not a fan of the live tour i wish brooks had not gone to the live tour but again i don't know how i can stop him from going to the live now are they gonna get are they gonna give him a new team because it looks like the teams are stacked if they make it what if there's a part in my take team on the live tour and we get a cut off it in yeah and you guys the listeners can suspend us yeah for a couple episodes pending approval yeah or pending appeal yeah we'll hear our own appeal yeah we'll just take a break i mean i said i've been watching the live tour since it started i will continue will continue to watch it.
You are a huge LivTor fan. I'm not a LivTor fan.
I'm just like, put sports in front of me. If they're entertaining and good golfers, I'll probably tune in.
Especially if it's free on YouTube. It is always funny, though.
Roger Goodell is the most corrupt, evil human being on planet Earth. And I still watch the NFL.
That's true. Good that's it he is roger goodell saudi arabia shaking hands yes same people um it is it is always funny though because like we do people want us to like say something about it yeah but like look we already said something we we banned him from blake of the year upon appeal like that's how could you be how what other power do we have that's the strongest thing we can come down on we came down very hard we gave him the maximum suspension that is on part of my take we've never done that before i actually it's unprecedented to kick somebody out of blake of the year now of course he does have recourse because he is a member you know he's got a union he's a member of the the part of my take recurring guest association that's true and so by the CBA that we've enacted with him, we have to legally hear his request for appeal.
Right. So we'll see what happens going forward.
But right now it's just a two-man race. Old-fashioned Blake of the year whenever we get to the takeies this year.
It's a two-man race. What do you think happens? I just realized it's going to be a lot harder for them to pick ping pong balls with just two of them.
That's true. not we're gonna have to change that up this year that was the joke what about the worst things we've ever done that will be on our worst worst of the year who do you think was the maddest i think it was i think it was uh blake griffin yeah got the most frustrated over the course of the ping pong oh yeah definitely yeah that will when we run our worst of the year episode that will definitely be highly featured yeah because that was thing.
Yeah, we should. And just torture everyone again.
We should actually run it- Didn't we edit it down too? Yeah. You know what we should do? I don't know if you can do this, but Executive Hank, you're tight with YouTube.
Yes. Maybe what if we could buy ad space on our YouTube video and the ads are just Blake of the Year ping pong running.

So when you get a break of it, it just goes to an ad.

We actually could probably do that.

Okay, great.

That would be great.

So it's just like you can't escape it.

Just make it so that people really don't want to watch our videos.

Yeah, I mean, how much money would go to us if we sponsored our own podcast on YouTube?

Oh.

Probably like 80%, right?

Can we double dip?

No, you guys would lose money.

No, but we're paying ourselves.

Yeah, but only like 20%.

But you only get a percentage of what you pay yourself.

There would be commission that goes off it to YouTube.

You'd be spending 100% of your money to receive a percentage back.

Look at this.

This guy fucking knows math.

That's way better than our gambling records.

This guy knows math.

Yeah, but the 100%, you have to understand, when we pay YouTube- That is a business expense, though. That's a business expense and also a sunk cost.
So then when we get the money back, ka-ching, ka-ching. It's a loss leader, right? Yeah.
Do you do sunk costs up on the third floor where you're like, that money's gone? Yeah, oh yeah. Yeah.
I don't know what that means. We don't have anybody around here like that.
That's how I basically just, there's a lot of sunk costs in my brain when I'm doing finances. Like, ah, I already spent that.
What are you going to do? How many more professional golfers do you think have to leave the PGA to go to the Live Tour to have somebody like, I don't know, Jake or Hank's level of golf being like, you know what, I think now I can make the PGA Tour. Yeah.
It's going to be – the good news is Max is going to make every cut.

Yeah.

There's no one left.

The Max Slam is really – we mentioned it in passing on last part of my take,

but that's really a feat that I don't think we ever thought would be possible.

Yeah.

He's done it.

I also like –

Did you see the sabermetrics behind the slam?

No.

I'll pull it up.

The real take, though, on this is like I wasn't surprised that Brooks is going –

his brother's on the tour.

I also think like there hasn't been anyone who shocked me. Morikawa would have shocked me because, let's be honest, Brooks has battled some knee injuries.
He doesn't love playing regular PGA events all the time. He just paid Ludacris to play at his wedding.
That's a pretty big business. That's a sunk cost right there.
Yes, that's a sunk cost. He shows up for the majors.

Like all these guys that have gone, I can see how it's happening.

It's waiting for that one guy who might be in his early 20s

who's got his entire career in front of him.

That guy going would be weird.

Like a Colin Morikawa.

Yeah, Colin Morikawa would have shocked me. Yes.
But besides that, it's like there's so much money that's being thrown at these guys. It's very, very difficult for them to say no.
Tough decisions. Okay, so he's suspended.
There you go. Print it.
Put it out there. Suspended from Blake of the year.
I'll make it a press release. Yeah, maybe in small, small print upon appeal.
Yeah. So he does have an appeal and i i don't think the appeal process is gonna be that difficult but we'll see you know who they should get to play on that tour is afi barnrat yeah the guy from thailand that vapes all the time he's like five foot eight 240 pounds and he just blows sick clouds on the course burns all his money on lambo he's a guy lambos and yeezys yeah He has an entire apartment that he got, a secret apartment dedicated to his shoes.
That's the guy that if there's anybody that's going to go on to the Live Tour, they should have his name circled big time. Agreed.
Agreed. What were you going to say, Hank? You got the Max Homo numbers? Yes.
So he tweeted this. He replied to this tweet, but it's from Kyle Porter CBS.
Aggregate major scores of golfers who have made the cut at all three majors in 2022. Sal Torres, obviously the top, minus 13.
Then Rory's minus 11. Fitzpatrick was minus 7.
More cowards, plus 2. John Rahm, plus 11.
And then Max Homa and three other guys are at the bottom of the list, plus 17 or higher. Wait, is that good? No, I mean, he's at the bottom of the slam.
Got it. Like of all the golfers that have done the slam, he's at the bottom of that list.
He's still within the door. He's still great.
He's on the list. Is that like a guy that has exceptional babbip in baseball, where it's like, yeah, he hits a lot of ground balls, but they all find the hole.
Seamhead. Yeah.
We just went dimplehead. Yeah, we went Seamhead on you.
Sorry. It's very difficult.
We do so many sports. Speaking of, we should talk about the Stanley Cup final.
Yeah. What's that? We're puck boys.
Yeah, we're puck boys. Yeah, we're big time puck boys.
That was quite the answer from the lightning. Weird series so far because you just had an unbelievable game one and then two blowouts.
Sick league. And now, yeah, sick league.
And now, did you see the little gamesmanship that was going on that now has cost potentially the Lightning Kucherov? So in game two, Saturday night, the Avs were up six nothing and they put out their number one uh power play unit just to like run it up game three on Monday night similar situation it was six two games in hand five minutes left the Lightning put out their number one power play unit Kucherov gets hurt I like I don't know I don't know what they're doing there but but it got chippy at the end. A little fight.
Yeah, there was a fight at the end of game two also, right? I love that in the playoffs when a team's getting their ass kicked, and at the very end they're like, well, we're still going to try to fight you. Try to get a tiny bit of momentum to carry over to the next game.
That's going to be interesting. Also, the avalanche goalie situation is going to be interesting because it's weird to say because as good as the avalanche have been all season, they still have major questions.
Yeah, they have a goalie named Darcy. Yeah, they've got major, major questions in the net.
So they might not even go with the guy that they've been starting. They might have to pull him because he looked shaky, as the boys say.
Yes, and I also like – this is weird to say, but Game 4, it has Game 5-2-2 type feels because I feel like if the Lightning win Game 4, they're going to win this series. But then it's going to go back to Colorado and they're going to win 6-1.
Yeah, yeah, that's true. You forget about Game 5.
But the Lightning are set up so perfectly where they've done this now a few times in these playoffs where they start slow in a series and so if they win game four you're just going to be like well here it goes it's happening again i i do like your analogy though that game three felt like a game four game four is going to feel like a game five it'll feel like oh yeah yeah so you said game four will feel like a game for i think that game uh the two nothing lead that the avalanche had felt like a three to one lead. Yeah so now it's three to two right so it should be game six but it's actually going to be game five which is actually going to be game four got it exactly that's and that's that's why you pay the big bucks to listen to the puck boys yeah it makes sense when you think about yes break it all down i need a graphic for that as well it might have been like one of the stupidest things we've ever said on this show but it does make sense to me if you actually sit down and look at it it makes perfect sense yep um and then uh other story before we get to hot seat cool throne and then russillo and mount rushmore uh the warriors parade was fantastic mostly clay thompson who had just a tour de force he started the day losing his hat on his boat driving to the parade and then he wore a captain's hat for the rest of the day which was very funny he truck sticked a woman because he fell over and he then almost lost his championship ring uh because he went to shake someone's hand and it dropped and it basically rolled into the crowd.

And then he did Michael Jackson moves on the trophy in the middle of the street. And it was like, I just love whenever a team wins a title and the players get so drunk, you're like, wow.
I mean, Andrew Wiggins, that was the highest man on earth. That one picture, did you see his eyes? I didn't see that one.
Oh my God, I'll show it to you. It was incredible eyes, but I just, I like when a team celebrates how we would celebrate if we ever won anything of any note, not like when a team celebrates it's like, Oh yeah, everyone seems like they've had a few beers.
Yeah. Like going back to Tom Brady at that Superbowl parade that they had where he tossed the Lombardi trophy and he was drunk and being carried out afterwards.
That's awesome to see people that usually have their lives put together just completely fucked up. In fact, I'd like to see that in more walks of life, not just sports teams.
I want to see high-powered executives after they have a good quarter, like a good conference call. They go out, they get hammered at the bar, their cameras all around them.
We need to normalize getting blind drunk at a celebration for our heroes. Yes, exactly.
Exactly. Andrew, as I'm pulling this up right now.
I want your instant reaction. It's very, very funny.
They should also make the losing team do a loser's parade. What are you going to say, Hank? That would be great.
What are you going to say, Hank? What is that look? What are you going to say? Don't give me that look. I mean, that's just a little contradictory words.
I'll put some money in the list. Put some money in the jar, but what you just said is a little bit contradictory.
What, getting drunk after you have a great quarter or something like that? You said getting drunk after celebrating your heroes. Yeah, but that's different.
All right, $5 in the jar. I don't like this, Hank.
You're becoming... I didn't know you were doing that on purpose.
It was funny. I think that we should normalize people getting drunk after they have a brief glimmer of doing a good job at their work.
Yes. People, athletes who are in their mid to lower 20s.
That's what I'm getting at. Agreed.
I also think that I might have gotten photoshopped a little bit. Yeah.
I didn't think it was that bad. Damn it.
In what? The eyes. Oh, no.
I mean, he's fucked up, but someone did Photoshop them very red, and then I laughed at that.

So strike that from the record.

You got fake news.

Yeah.

I mean, it was very funny.

Yeah, this is the one that I saw that was very funny.

Really fucked up.

I'm going to believe that's true.

Yeah, right.

Come on.

Let me believe it.

I thought it was real, too.

Yeah, like, what the fuck?

Why would you do that?

Let me believe that shit.

I actually think someone Photoshopped his eyes to be less red to try to save Andrew Wiggins. That's the fake news.
That is exactly what happened, folks. I don't like that they didn't have him get on the mic and speak, because I need somebody to say something stupid at these victory parades, too.
Yeah. Let them just get drunk, open up, open their hearts to everybody, and let one guy on the team say something absolutely dumb as shit, and then let us laugh at that.
Yeah, so, I mean, Corey Crawford did it with the Blackhawks when he just got on the mic and was like, fucking right, Chicago. Like, that was, you know, like, just swearing and just being so blind drunk, you don't know what you're saying.
I want that. I think Ovechkin said, I told you we are not going to be suck this year.
Yeah, that shit is that. You need that, and then you make shirts.
That's how the world goes around. Yeah're they're really taking money out of the local economy yes yes uh all right let's do hot seat cool throne then we'll get to russillo and mount rushmore uh before we do that skrill skrill is the best digital wallet for gamblers because it was built for gamblers sophisticated gamblers use it to manage their bankroll whether they're playing games like poker or betting on their favorite sports they manage their bank bankroll using the wallet, which allows them to pay instantly and securely its payments without limits, basically.
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Hot seat, cool thrown. Hank.
My seat of the Rockets. They benched John Wall last year, even though he wanted to play and was ready to play because they wanted to develop players, a.k.a.
get a lower draft pick. And then today he kind of got a little revenge.
He exercised his option to resign, and it's going to get paid $47.4 million. Good for him.
Living in Texas. He's still good, right? And they're obviously going to try and trade him.
No one's going to want to trade for him, and they're going to get paid 47.4 million dollars good for him living in texas

and they're obviously going to try and trade him no one's going to want to trade for him and they're gonna have to buy him out so they're not going to want to trade for him because of the salary but he's still he's still a good player right he's totally healthy now yes he has no lingering foot injuries he's back i feel like he's going to be a great player as soon as he gets off the rocketsets. Yeah, I agree.
Agreed. We all agree.
And he's going to have all that money in his pocket. Which maybe not James Harden.
Who knows? Yeah. I don't think John Wall is James Harden.
Yeah, James Harden is James Harden. James Harden.
There's no other James Harden. Yeah, he is one of one.
James Harden, we should start that Twitter right now. But James Harden was better than John Wall when he was at his peak.
Correct. Yes, that's true.
Unless it was a game seven. True.
Yeah, or any game in the playoffs. Speaking of basketball, my cool throne is just unathletic bloggers competing in sports.
We talked about Idol on Monday. Today, Big Cat had all of the contestants play basketball, like a weird form of basketball, and I was just watching the clips before we recorded, and I don't think I've ever laughed as hard in my life.
It's just ridiculous. Yeah, so Barstool Idol's still going on.
Check out the Barstool Sports YouTube page for the 7 p.m. eliminations.
And PFT's going to be – yeah, this is going to drop on Wednesday, so it'll be fine. It won't be a spoiler.
PFT's going to be doing some stuff on Wednesday with all the contestants. Doing a lot of stuff.
Yeah. Yeah.
Very exciting. We're going to find a new colleague.
But you just, obviously, it's like, you know, even watching unathletic people play golf, unathletic people play anything. It's funny.
And this was just people that have never played basketball, I don't know, ever slash in the last 10 years. Well, it's also the rules that I've created for this game.
It's full court. And if it's full court, you have to make a basket to be off the court, and there cannot be two consecutive shots at the same basket, and it's nine people all on their own, which just creates one of the dumbest-looking basketball games you could possibly imagine.
We'll post some of the videos. I was in tears laughing with PFT.
PFT can attest. I was dying.
Everything I wanted him more. There's something very funny about somebody whose job it is to talk about basketball players, and you put a basketball in their hands, and they seriously look like they're a two-year-old that has never seen the sport before.
That's why, shout out John Rothstein, never touched a basketball. Smart.
He can never be in that position. There's no upside to it.
He's literally never touched a basketball. I hit a half-court shot in Iowa.
You did? Yeah. Fuck yes.
But I still can't really play. But Jake, you're like a sneaky good at everything.
Nah. Nah, that's a fact.
All right, P.T., your hot seat, cool to run. My hot seat is sex.
Ooh. Sex on the hot seat.
Hank? Hear me out, Hank. I want a retraction from Batty South, by the way the way absolutely not so my hot seat is sex because the world cup in qatar cutter that's one of those words that every time i say it i get people tell me i'm saying it wrong yep so i'm gonna say it both times uh from now on but at the world cup this year they've implemented a rule i guess it's a law in the country but they're holding the law in place for the World Cup.
A one-night stand is against the law there. What? And could be punished by up to seven years in Qatari prison.
Now, is a two-night stand allowed? I don't know. If you get married before...
That's actually something that they should look into, is having a drive-through marriage ceremony place, like in Vegas. Yeah.
So if you want to bone somebody that you just met over there, then you get married real quick and you can have sex. We need like a pop-up like outside of the bars, like a pizza truck.
It's just a marriage truck. In the hotels.
Yeah. Just as you go in the door like, hey, you want to get married? I noticed that you're with a lady right now.
Yes. Get married and then a divorce place also on the way out.
As you walk out of the hotel. Yeah, that's what they need because it's going to be a real issue over there first of all they're not really allowing drinking that much unless you're on one of the designated resort areas like inside a hotel and then on top of that there's no one night stands that you can have either feel like we probably shouldn't have done the world cup there probably not but that's fifa they make they make the live tour seem like the salvation army it's.
It is funny. Live Tour is obviously hot in the streets right now, and you're like, oh, yeah.
FIFA. FIFA, we've got stadiums that were built by slaves.
Yes, and a lot of them perished. And if you have sex or drink, we will execute you.
Yes, and oh, yeah, we're doing an entire World Cup in the middle of the desert where we have to blast air conditioning and do the tournament in the middle of American football season. It's really one of the worst overall tournaments of all time.
Ever. But I'm still very excited for it.
I got Italy. I got Italy in six.
There we go. My cool throne is balls.
Balls on the cool throne. Alright, that's going on.
Yep. Shut the fuck up, Hank.
You know what? You should bonk yourself on this one because I'm talking about baseballs. Oh.
The balls in baseball are on the cool throne because Major League Baseball sent out a memo that all 32 teams will be required to get the balls ready using the exact same technique. Up until now, each clubhouse did a different way.
Yeah, the humidifier and shit. Yeah, like Colorado.
they used to put them in the humidifier, humidor, whatever it was. Arizona as well.
Different places do it different ways. But now there's a specific method that every single team has to use.
The proper technique is painting the full surface of the ball with the mud using two fingertips. And you use a very precise rubbing motion with the ball in between both hands to get mud into the pores of the leather.
And it's a 30-40 second process. It will be monitored now by Major League Baseball as opposed to just letting teams do it however they want you to do it.
That could also be a hot seat for the Yankees too because the Yankees are probably definitely doing something different with their balls. They just win every game.
First team to 50 wins since the 2001 Mariners in 67 games. No other teams won 50 games in a season? No, in this fastest team.
Oh, got it. Fastest, not first.
Fastest first. Yes.
The fastest first team since 2001. So, yeah, this is – That Mariners team did not do well in the playoffs.
I feel like this is a good opportunity for us to make some midseason bets on team total wins and losses.

I feel like the good teams, I might just start fading every good team.

Because I'm always of the mindset that in baseball, if you're not cheating, you're not trying.

And so every single team is cheating in a certain way.

This seems like they're closing a pretty big cheating loophole.

Yes, yes, I agree.

I have two hot seats.

My first hot seat is Marilyn Monroe. There was an article that uh came out this this kind of fucked up because she's been dead for a really long time but uh it was basically that marilyn monroe was like an all-time smelly person yeah that is fucked up yeah so uh it's uh david brett writes about marilyn monroe's non-hygienic personal habits that not many people knew about.
According to Brett, she was flatulent, dirty, and ate in bed. Like Jean Harlow, she bleached all her pubic hair and never wore panties.
Also, this one is actually gross. Is that dirty to bleach your pubic hair? I don't know.
And not wear panties? I don't know, but I guess she was a big-time farter. they didn't have a term for it back then, but she had IBS, irritable bowel syndrome.
And she also rarely bathed, slept in the nude, and ate a lot in bed, shoving what was left on her plate under the sheets before going to sleep. I'm fine with all that.
That's crazy. And I guess Joe DiMaggio complained all the time about how much she stunk.
I'm fine with all that. I'm always okay with a new article coming out being like, you know, Hitler had diarrhea since he was 13 years old.
Yes. But don't do that to Marilyn Monroe.
Yeah. It's kind of fucked.
Later, rest in peace. It's kind of fucked.
And then my other hot seat is me, and I'm actually going to put the AWLs on the hot seat because I'm stuck now in a spot where we want Kevin Durant on this show, and he just has alpha'd me so hard at this point that I need people to start replying to his tweets just saying, go on, pardon my take. I don't know what else we can do.
I've been Instagram DMing him for five years, and he just doesn't reply, or when he does reply, it's just mean. But he also said that, like, I went back and I looked, agreed to come on i'm just getting alpha so i need help you know what the problem is we haven't won anything on this podcast yeah we keep losing that fucking iheart radio award to like whatever new podcast comes up that year and goes away maybe if we start getting some rings then he'll be like yeah they're an elite team i want to join up with them yeah and maybe i can help them win something we need to be better bus drivers yes we do and then get him on our side to try to submit his legacy as an all-time content creator he would be so good on this show i also when i was looking back because like he replied to one of my tweets yesterday so i was like oh i'm gonna strike up another conversation he just like saw my instagram dms and didn't reply but i look I don't know if you remember this, Hank, but you saw him at a concert once and you didn't

go up and say hello. And I sent him a message.
I'm like, my producer saw you, but like pussied

out and didn't say hello. And he just replied, he's a baby back bitch, which is hilarious.

And then another time, I think, I can't remember what was happening. He was getting like,

he was getting dragged. Oh no.
It's when he got hurt. He got hurt in the series against

Let's Make it. so like these are our conversations i just i get alpha every which way yeah i don't know what to do i think i'm just stuck we got to play hard we got we should suspend him from the podcast yeah make him want to come yeah there was another one where there was some i can't remember what was happening at the time but like something he said oh it might have been something he was some controversy maybe it was the burner shit and i was like you know like we we deal with something similar like obviously you're way bigger but we deal with something similar where people dissect like every mood we're in and everything you know like if we have one off day they're like all these people hate each other and he just replied to me and he said you cannot compare to me so you can't relate to me and i was like okay so it sounds like i'm stuck i'm completely alpha it sounds like he actually hates you yeah but then he then he'll reply.
One day he was just like, happy Thanksgiving. He's a weird- Out of nowhere.
Was it Thanksgiving? Yes. Oh.
He said, happy turkey day, my man. And I was like, what the fuck? I don't know what to do.
We got to figure out a different way to approach this. That's the bottom line.
I don't think he hates me. The way that we're doing it right now is not working out for us.
I need everyone's help. I need everyone's help.

I really do.

And then my cool throne, this one is going to be a shocker if you had this for things that were going to get mentioned on Part of My Take.

My cool throne is the Pittsburgh Pirates.

Whoa.

Because they called back up their young phenom shortstop,

who's 6'7", shortstop.

His name is O'Neal Cruz.

And I was watching last night. I was watching the highlights because they were playing the Cubs.
They killed the Cubs. This guy might be the most electric player I've ever seen in my life.
6'7. He's 6'7.
He's a shortstop. He ran on a sack fly to short left.
He was safe at home. So he beat out basically like you'd never go.
No one would ever go. He had the three fastest sprint speeds of the year by a pirate, 31.5 miles per hour, 30.7.
There's no chance he ran 31 miles per hour. What is that? What is 31.5 then? 31.5.
Three fastest sprint speeds of the year by a pirate. 31.5 feet per second? I don't know.
Yeah, it can't be 31.5 miles per hour. Yeah, that would be – He would be elite.
What is that? The Raiders would have drafted him. What is that? I don't know.
31.5? It sounds like this guy's going to be really good on the Yankees in four years. Yeah, don't do that to the Pirates fans.
He hit a ball 112 miles an hour last night, 113 miles an hour. And then here's the crazy one.
He threw a ball from shortstop. It was the hardest throw by an infielder in MLB.
Feet per second, okay. Hardest throw.
He's so fast. Hardest throw by an infielder in Major League Baseball this year.
He threw a ball from shortstop to first, 96.7 miles per hour. I saw that one.
It was insane. Maybe the most impressive part about that throw was he didn't even reach his arm back all the way he's just got a whip attached to his dude he is absolutely electric so i you know baseball is one of those sports if your team sucks but you have one of these guys yeah everything can be okay because you're like i'm gonna watch and just hope he does something incredible and he he did he got called up last year for two games and i think he had a home run but he's he's gonna be incredible so i'm buying all my stock in o'neill cruz right now i'm lashing out a little bit because that's that's the situation i'm in right now with juan soto yeah but i'm always thinking like oh he's gonna be a met or he's gonna be a yankee yeah just wait yeah his uh his first big league home run last year oh no he ripped a single last year that was 118 miles an hour.

That's pretty sick.

He's just fucking, everything he does is fast.

That's a cool name, too.

O'Neal Cruz is awesome.

And he's 6'7". You don't see a lot of 6'7 shortstops.

Yeah.

Okay, Jake.

My hot seat is Duke basketball because despite having an office,

despite giving quotes on players transferring,

Coach K says he will not be attending any home games at Cameroneron indoor this season do we believe as a fan i would assume so but we don't know that because he's still giving quotes and well so he he's only going as a coach he's only going to go to their way away games yeah he's as a coach he'll be there you would maybe think so oh i don't know it's just interesting how he's retired i don't know why his name keeps coming up right because he keeps giving quotes and has an office oh that might be it that might be it see like outbounding these quotes he's calling up reporters and be like hey just so you know i'm not gonna be at the games next year it's like okay he's probably getting like a special high-speed telescope built from his office so he can watch the games in his in his. Yeah.
This fucking guy. And then my cool throne is the SEC.
So the College World Series is happening. There are five teams left.
Auburn, Arkansas, Ole Miss, A&M, and Oklahoma. And Oklahoma is going to be in the SEC, so they're pretty much guaranteed a championship.
I love, love Arkansas baseball. I love it.
Yeah, they're awesome. And it's mostly just because they are dominating the Jell-O shot challenge.
Oh, yeah. They've got like 20 times as many Jell-O shots ordered at the bar as any other team fan base does.
And they've got that one dude in the stands that wears the over-the-top Oakley sunglasses, which are just such a fucking cool look. Yeah, so there's a bar in Omaha that has a Jell-O shot challenge.
I think every year every year they broke the record all-time record but it was very funny at the beginning of the college world series because shout out notre dame they actually put up like a couple hundred they were not terrible but it was like arkansas a thousand or like 1200 ole miss like 1100 and goes down the list and it was stanford 37 yeah of course it's so perfect there So perfect. There's just one guy probably.
I love Arkansas. It's like an entire fan base built out of John Daly.
Yes. Yes.
Yeah, I mean, Musk is our guy. The Musk bus.
Okay, good job, Jake. Let's get to Ryan Russillo.
Mount Rushmore. We're going to start with the Mount Rushmore and then we'll talk a little NBA draft on the other side.
Before we do that, you got a quick word, PFT? Before we get to Rusillo, I want to talk to you about Coors Light. You guys have heard us talk about Coors Light nonstop because we drink it all the time.
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Now here is Ryan Russillo.

Okay, we now welcome on our very good friend ryan rusillo uh we haven't talked to him since the nba well we actually had you on for fire fest for chris paul um have you gotten over that we're gonna do a mount rush when we're gonna talk some nba draft but let's start with chris paul have you gotten over it and why haven't you shown anyone my gift to you? You know what? I meant to tweet that out, but I wanted the fathers to have their day. I didn't want to make it about our relationship, so I should tweet out the gift that Big Cat was very thoughtful in sending me.
And the thing is, I know the truth. This is like X-Files over here.
I know the truth. I've been over the Chris Paul thing.
I'm good to go. I can't wait.
Sons in six next season. Yeah, there was a moment where I was like, this is really hurting him because he knows that it's over for Chris Paul.
It's over. He's just a choker forever.
We were right. You were wrong.
We know Paul. You don't.
That's just a fact. Yeah, I actually think I'm going to come visit and play in that pickup game and just take all the aggression on you because I've been watching some of those clips and i was like i'm gonna get hurt playing in that game but uh yeah because that's like the kind of aggression you can get away with like if you and i just started tackling each other in the middle of the hallway like i don't know that would go over well uh for anybody involved but yeah i mean it was dark that sunday pod with bill sucked so bad it was awful and it was kind of like hey come on and then it's like well what do you what kind of content do you want you want me to like repent you know it didn't make a ton of sense to me and i'm not repenting fuck everybody and i'm not worried about it if they could just bring in another combo guard to maybe lighten the load on the guy so it doesn't have to max out during the season maybe we get through covid i don't know so yeah there's a lot of stuff going on i feel i feel great about chris paul i'm not worried about it but you know look here's the thing.
Somebody at the gym at the end of the day asked me, what happens when you forget what set you're on or how many reps? I'm like, well, I just do what I originally thought I was supposed to do because if it means I'm just doing more, the punishment is the reward, really. You know what I mean? The punishment is just more reps.
So that's not really punishment. That's a reward.
And I try to live my life that way. So when I think about Chris Paul and how I felt after that, I go, this is actually a reward.

This kind of pain.

You can't sign up for this.

You can't feel this just generically. You have to feel it organically.

And I've never been better.

I'm on a fucking roller coaster that only goes up.

Yeah.

I mean, if you think about it in that way, you're not wrong.

You just haven't been.

Thanks, though.

Well, I'm saying you're not wrong about Chris haven't been thanks though well i'm saying you you're not wrong about chris paul you're just not right yet exactly it's kind of like the wiggins thing that happened it's the reverse of that is where i've always said that wiggins just needs to be in the right situation he just needs to play with two of the best shooters of all time i said that i was right yeah yeah no i can't wait for the next first number one overall pick who then gets maxed out, who's super disappointing for eight years. You just go, dude, Wiggins, fourth option.
Wiggins. 2022.
You remember that? Last Chris Paul question. Will you celebrate it when he eventually does win a big three championship? Yeah.
Yeah. I'll be there.
I'm going to go. Yeah.
Okay. Because that's going to happen.
He'll win one there. Do you know how good he's going to be in that league? They're going to ask him to leave it.
Yeah. Yeah, I'll be there.
I'm going to go. Yeah.
Okay, because that's going to happen. He'll win one there.
Do you know how good he's going to be in that league? They're going to ask him to leave it. Yeah.
No, it's true. He's going to be incredible in that league.
I think he's going to be an outstanding head coach one day. I think that's when you're going to be right about Chris Paul.
I don't know about that. Yeah.
I actually don't know. I don't know if he would have the patience for it.
That's why I always think the Rondo thing is so funny because people are like, oh, he's going to be an amazing coach. I'm like, I would never dispute how smart everybody that I've ever talked to is like, he is so smart, he is so smart.
Seems like he doesn't get along with a ton of people all the time. That's also part of it too.
I don't know if Paul will do that. You're just kind of burying Chris Paul now.
It sounds like you don't really love him that much. No, it's kind of like patient.
He doesn't get along with his teammates. Nope.
Nope. That's not, that's not what it is.
It's the Phil Jackson Kobe lesson. We're finally Phil Jackson to pull Kobe aside.
He goes, you got to stop thinking that these guys have a level that matches your level. Like your, your seven is their 10 and they don't understand that there's an 11.
They don't understand it. So you can keep holding these guys to a standard that they're never, ever going to meet because they're never going, like whatever your next level is, they don't even comprehend that that's possible.
So you can be mad and hold them to the standard that they'll never reach or you can just fucking accept it and move on and just live a little bit easier. And I don't think the best players, I don't actually think the best players, especially guys that are intense, that demand everything of everybody else, I don't know if those guys are the best coaches.
By the way, Chris Paul's already banked $300 million career. That's a win.
He might buy a team. Yeah, that's true.
Get that out there in the universe. Okay, let's do the Mount Rushmore, and then we're going to talk draft.
This is the first Mount Rushmore of the season. We thought it would be perfect to have you on uh we actually were going to do we're sitting around discussing what we're going to do we're like oh riscilla just bought a boat why don't we do mount rushmore of midlife crisis moves and then we realized we had already done that with you four years ago so we're going to do something different um i like this one a lot it's going to be the mount Rushmore of things you'll never do.
So it's just things that in your head you're like, yep, I'm never going to do that. That's not for me.
And this year we're spicing it up because I think we're in our sixth season of Mount Rushmore. Yeah.
Yeah, sixth season of Mount Rushmore. 2016 it started.
Yeah, so we're doing teams. Started on your show.
Yeah. No, we invented Mount Rushmore.
We Rushmore. They didn't even have a monument to presidents before we started Pardon My Take.
Yeah, that's a fact. So we're doing teams this year.
I like when people do them and they put a fifth guy on. Magic did that.
Yeah, Magic did that. Magic, yeah.
Magic was, and it was nice that he did that because it made me think like, why are we? Magic also went on Get Up for a week and forgot every single CBA rule. Anyway.
That's magic. Okay, so we're doing teams.
So it's PFT and I versus Hank, Liam, and Jake versus you. So it's Team Mount Rushmore this year.
We're trying to do something a little different. We were going to have it.
Oh, wow. Yeah, we were going to have it be Jake and someone else who's not here right now.
So we had to do a little on the fly. There's a three-man team that we're going up against.
Did somebody die? Yeah, somebody is no longer with us right now. Their work ethic did.
Some guy that can't really bench that much who will remain nameless. You mean he rounds up to motivate himself or lie to the public and then talks about somehow using two-and-a plates that nobody ever uses unless you're like doing olympic stuff hypothetically that's the guy yeah that sounds familiar uh okay so do you want him actually like honest question do you want billy no i don't i i'm not even asking for a trade i know the timeline of events i i know everything.
I read 30% of what he posted the other day.

Cause I do really like them,

but he doesn't get it.

I can already tell.

I'm like,

you don't get it.

Like I was,

I was talking to,

well,

it came up in conversation.

Let's put it that way.

Yeah.

And it would be like me being a sophomore at UVM and then spending my

summers working on pardon the interruption and then graduating and

pardon the interruption being like, do you want to be the guy and then at 23 being like fuck this is hard and you're like actually actually you are part of like the late like early 2000s when the show started which is a couple years after I graduated like to then think man like I don't know I love the kid but I don't I don't think he truly understands how amazing his opportunity has pivoted into this important number one sports podcast platform. It's unbelievable.
But I don't know that you can be that young and fully appreciate it. And I don't think he does.
That's my opinion. The funny thing is, like, Billy will listen to this and he'll probably buy in after hearing you say it.
Yeah. Because he respects it.
He respects your mass. I don't't know if he'll i don't know that you can understand it until you're older so i'm not even being critical of him you know what i mean it's like the whole point of getting older is that you know we already were 23 right when you've only been 23 you know that's why old people hate young people at work you know guys that are in their 20s that think that all the people that are 40 in the corner offices you work in finance they respect you they can't stand you yeah you know most of them think your fucking ideas suck and and they're and they're mad that you don't stay hung over for three days and that there's some hostess at some new mexican place that likes you and he's frustrated and has had sex in three months i love so a lot a lot of those guys don't like you because they also realize like they already did it they did it they did it 23 they did it at 24 they would do it like they get up a bunch of years so i'm not even i'm not i'm certainly you know i love the kid but i don't know that he truly understands the rocket ship that he got a ticket to that almost nobody else did and i think it's it's hard to process it unless like he hasn't experienced anything's making, I think, more money than I did right at his first year out of college.
He's making more money than I made at 31 in my second year at ESPN. Yeah, easily.
I love your hyper-specific example too. You could have gone with Mexican restaurant, but you said New Mexican.
That's where you're the best. That's what you learn in your 30s to tack on those details.
Yeah, because you know when it's a New Mexican hot spot, everybody's gone. Yeah.
Got to try it. Have to try it.
Okay, so let's do it. Let's hop into it.
That was a lot of stuff. Sorry.
No, no, that's okay. I really do think it's good if Billy hears it from someone else besides us because God knows he's tuned us out so imagine me okay imagine me

a couple years out of school i'm making good money and i'm on pardon the interruption and i'm telling tony kornheiser that he doesn't fully get it yes thank you all right yeah no it's like 2001 and you're like you know mike and tony probably only have a couple years left so yeah So this is going to all be mine.

All I got to do is maybe show up to work every other day. Mike and Tony probably only have a couple years left.
Yeah. So this is going to all be mine.

All I got to do is maybe show up to work every other day.

Okay.

Tony, I get that you're sort of an observational guy,

but have you ever thought of maybe tweaking your approach a bit?

Maybe doing some TikToks, Tony.

Yes.

Okay, so why don't you start?

Why don't you kick us off?

Hank, would your team like to go second? Sure. Or would you like to go third? It's a snake draft.
Let's go second. Okay, we will go third, PFT and I.
Hank is super salty, Ryan. I don't know if you can pick up that from this whole experience.
I mean, what do you think about Team Mount Rushmore's, Ryan, in general? I don't even know what we're doing. I'm barely on, so I'm not 100%.
Like, what does somebody win? What do I win? Or what is somebody who goes, I like Rosillo's Rushmore the most? What's the payoff? Nothing. This seems a bit like my fantasy golf idea where I think that the entire tour, PGH could use this right now because it seems like they need a little juice, a little injection or something, where at the beginning of every PGA season, then you also have a draft of foursomes that are point totals, kind like F1 which you guys used to watch where instead of two drivers for each team you have four golfers that represent a team and then there's also a team element to the standings that doesn't really impact any of the other stuff that's happening because not like in golf you're gonna let somebody pass you so that was something I always thought should happen and now this sounds like a rant about golf but I don't understand it hank so i'm kind of with you it could just be our northeast ties and the fact i still haven't done that that free cameo video for you oh no that's true what happened i thought i still think ryan's trolling me i actually forgot about that but yeah can you explain i told him twice i didn't know like all right so this is where I got confused.
I'm just a busy man.

He's a great satirist.

He's very tongue-in-cheek.

What is he?

Satirist.

What is it? Yeah, I got it.

When he was telling the story about doing cameos on the Life episode, I took him seriously.

And then I thought he was being serious, but in hindsight, I was like, maybe he was just trolling.

But my brother is a fan of Rosillo, so I texted him after. I was like, would you mind doing a video for my brother? Because he just told the story about doing it.
And he was like, sure. And then it just never happened.
Oh, wow, Ryan. But I followed up and was like, hey, I owe you that video.
My bad. And you were like, yeah, I actually don't think you're even serious.
And I was like, no, I'll do it. And then didn't do it again.
So why don't you just do it right now? No, because I feel like it has to be intimate and I have to do it for the guy. Then I started thinking it'd be really funny to get all the facts wrong and then send it to Hank.
Like 50 years of marriage, man. Oh, this was for his wedding and you missed it? I think it was.
Was it originally for the wedding videos? No, no, no, no, no. It was after.
That's bad. Okay, okay.
All right, so. It's because big cat and i don't like cameo because they harass us so much yes and then cameo dm me like the cameo site itself was like my all my dad wants is a father's day from you on cam i'm like no you don't you just want to sign up and make the commission like your dad doesn't wait so when you told that story though were not? I'd say I haven't come through.
I haven't come. I've let some people down on that front.
But I'm going to do one for you. But just think about the buildup.
This is going to be amazing because they're hard to get, apparently. They're harder to get than I initially thought.
I like the idea of us starting our own cameo, but just guests that we have on the show. And then we can sell them for, like, five times the asking price if they're actually included in an episode of Part My Day.
Yeah. It's like, hey, here's like 10 names.
If you can just shout them out real quick in the middle of the episode. Chris Long does not get enough credit for immediately realizing what Cameo was good for, where he had LeGarrette Blount do a happy birthday to someone's iguana.
And it was like way before anybody was doing the fake ones. Anyway, we just gave them enough pub yes you guys that seem to resist all the time all right so teams i don't get it should i just go first yeah no the teams are very easy to understand we've been doing mount rushmore for five years we've all been separate we thought we'd do something a little different so we're just it's the same thing there's three teams it used to be three people it's three teams there's pft and i are gonna have four picks hank and his crew are gonna have four picks you're gonna have four picks very simple yeah all right okay um so the premise is things that you've kind of just come to grips with like i'm probably never doing that but the thing is is you may throw one out and we're all go i'll just use an example here if someone said i'll probably never go to the moon you don't know that you don't know that.
Space travel 15 years from now, you guys might be doing reads for that kind of shit. Yeah.
But it's just things you're never going to do. You just never, no matter what, it's never going to happen.
Go. If I don't get married, I'm probably not going to adopt anybody because I would just feel that was weird.
a kid yeah just as a guy okay that was now we just jumped right in the deep end what about what if there's a kid that's playing like at your local high school and he's really big and talented and you're like 16 he's 16 and you're like hey i want to adopt you so i can make some money off you after i would hope at that point i have enough money that I wouldn't be thinking about the financial motivation. But I would just think it's going to be received poorly if I showed up to an adoption agency just being like, look, I sort of let life pass me by.
I'm doing pretty well. Got a good setup.
Got a boat. But do you have any 12-year-olds? We could borrow for a second.
Wait, wait, wait. I don't.
Ryan, you realize that you went on a rant like 12 months ago saying that you wanted to adopt bris paul yeah but he's older and has his own money so so you're first he seems a little more independent i just don't think anybody's gonna sign off on it they're gonna be like wait what's this guy's deal like i was not saying like i wouldn't want to improve somebody's life but i i just i don't know i don't know that i'll get to a point where i'm like all right i'm gonna do this yeah because i don't think i don't think anybody would sign off on it i guess my question on that end would be what what would have been hoops what would have been in it for chris had you adopted him what would you have brought to the table as a father figure unconditional love love it that. Love it.
That's true. I mean, we've seen it

time and time again. Okay.

Was that too heavy?

No, it's good.

Adopting a child as a single guy.

Not for everyone.

I don't think anybody's going to go like,

yeah, great idea.

No, that's a great pick. Alright, so Hank,

your second pick.

Or the first pick, your second pick of the draft. Look, married, if I get married, it's a great pick.
All right, so Hank, your second pick. Or the first pick, your second pick of the draft.

Look, married, if I get married, complicate, totally different thing.

Totally different thing.

I just want to put that out there.

This is not a – you never know, man.

Stuff gets turned into it.

Like, Rosillo also anti-adoption.

You're like, that's not what I said.

Well, you are a big tax guy.

I'm sure the write-offs would be nice.

All right, our second pick. Wait, Ryan, are you fertile? I love this show.
Have you had your swimmers checked out? Ooh. Well, it hasn't been a huge priority.
I've had a few people lie about it. Maybe that's why I don't have any kids.
Okay, yeah, that's true. That's true.
No, no, you're younger, and somebody older from the gym is a fitness instructor, and you're like, yeah, man, what's up? And then all all of a sudden she lies to you about having a kid come in just to fuck with you for a while to see how you react right because you're getting ready to pack up for senior year like you know there's some trauma maybe that i haven't worked through there i'm like well hey look let me just finish up you know i got like 12 more credits to go and then i'll come back i'll get us a place like we'll have to rent maybe year-round like i probably work and start with my dad a little bit but then i'm gonna have to move to the mainland if that's cool that's worked out and then it's like oh no i i'm not really pregnant wait are we still taping this all right hank your first pick uh our first pick when i was billy's age i also uh had a had a rocky road with my employmanship a little bit i always thought i was gonna get fired i kind of did once and i always had this in the back of my head i'm 29 now i've just accepted it's never happening i will never graduate college oh wow non-graduate in the building yeah yeah and actually what two two half of your team is that yeah yeah liam i think has like a year left like i think he could probably get it together if he really had to i tried to do one online class and failed it miserably and was like i'm never gonna try that again so no i will never graduate college as well what about an honorary degree i have like three and a half years i feel like i have to do no but i feel like if you do become president one day you will get an honorary degree from somebody yeah i guess that's in the cards but i don't know if that's that's not really graduating. I apologize for not knowing the full scope of the story,

but how many semesters were you wherever you were? I did two semesters at Southern New Hampshire,

but in both semesters, I dropped a class,

so I was taking the minimum amount of classes,

so three credits, three credits.

So I think I have six credits.

And then I did a one-year film program

that was just focused on video stuff,

so not really college credit. Okay.
And that's how I got into that, and then I started interning at Barstool. And the film, it was like a one-year program.
I don't think those would be college credits. And the first day of Hank's job at Barstool, he had maybe fabricated a little bit on his resume and showed up.
It was the day that we did the combine with Todd McShay and uh Gaz was like so you ready to do this shoot and Hank was like uh I don't know how like any of this stuff is gonna work and then we kidnapped Todd McShay for like four hours and uh I remember Todd McShay turned turned to us at the end he was like because we said like oh we want to do like mini golf with SVP and he like, if you guys ever thought you could run this operation with SVP, he would walk out of here 10 minutes in.

Like, this is a clown show.

And we're like, yep, that's true.

I was basically told to come like help edit it.

And I showed up like, all right, what are we going to do?

What are we doing with these cameras?

Like, where are we doing stuff?

And I was just like, ah.

What shots you want?

Camera one, camera two.

So, yeah.

Okay. All right.
Yeah. No, I mean.
But then I used to, Dave, I was, you know, I had a rocky couple years where I was like constantly on the ropes every day. I was like, I think I might get fired.
Who knows what the fuck's going to happen? And I was always like, oh, I'll just go back to school. Like, I'll be a 22-year-old sophomore.
It'll be sick. Yeah.
Probably not going to do that. Yeah, not going to do it.
That's fine. So me and Big Cat took this a little bit differently because it's it's both of us agreeing we had to throw out certain things on our list yeah it's not whatever the other person might have a chance at doing yeah like we i said like oh see that's not how we're doing it yeah see pft and i collaborated it's a team because it's a team and i was like what should we put like dunking a basketball and pft was like i might dunk a basketball someday and then pft threw out there getting drafted by a professional sports team i was like dude you're a kicker don't rule that out so we definitely came up with four that we really combined are never going to do so you want to start with our first one i'll do second yeah sure first one is run a marathon never going to run a marathon ever ever it's just never going to happen i almost became the first person in history to run a half marathon, never tell anyone about it.
But then like three days into training, my back kind of hurt, so I stopped training for it. What if it was someone's dying wish? Nope.
Nope. Not going to do it.
A marathon is insane to do. It's nuts.
It's so boring in the first place. It's like five hours to run this thing.
What if you're on a tandem bicycle? That's called walking. Yeah.
And it's also like one of those things where i think in your 20s you have that idea of like yeah maybe someday i'll run a marathon and then you just kind of wake up and you're like wait 99 of us are like no we're never there's nothing you could do to get me to run a marathon the only upside i can think of to running marathon is that afterwards you get to eat whatever the fuck you want and before and right before yeah the night before and then right after the marathon you just here's my problem if i ever did run a marathon i guarantee you i would get fat as shit right after because i'd still have the mentality oh i just i just ran 26 miles yeah i can do whatever and over the course of the next month i put on 50 pounds and you're a douchebag if you're on a marathon. Let's just be honest.
You can just buy the sticker for free. Yeah, you could just work out like a normal person.
Yeah, well, the marathon thing's interesting because I, too, find it so boring. The training's boring.
I ran long distance for one year in high school just because I was like, I'll do this. I was like, to get better, I just have to run longer to get better at this distance.
I just, I'm with you, man. And the thing is, it sucks because if you train, you have to tell everybody.
Yeah. What's the longest distance you can run and still be a normal person? I think it's six miles.
I don't know. I don't know the answer to that.
Yeah. But the training, you're right.
You have to tell everyone. All right.
Our second pick. See, I love the team hey hank and i could have just picked i make a video for hank's brother that'll be something i gotta do all right second pick this is another one where it's kind it's similar to marathon it's just like there's one percent of the population that does this and the 99 of us that are normal people will never do it it's own a snake i will never own a snake a snake.
I like that one. People who own snakes, fucking weirdos.
Again, I will never, ever, ever in a million years own a snake. PFT agreed.
That was a firm yes for us. Just like that, I can't possibly, because this is a thing where you have to run through the scenarios in your head.
Could my kid be like, I'm big into snakes?

No, you're not.

We're not having a snake in our house.

Yeah, right.

There's nothing that would ever get me to own a snake.

The only thing that is a possibility in the snake, and this was a much bigger likelihood

like a week ago, if somebody who will not be named had a snake and then died and left

us the snake in the will, I would just...

I'd kill the snake and put it in the casket.

No question about it.

Thank you. not be named had a snake and then died and left us the snake in the will no i would just yeah i'd kill the snake and put it in the casket no question about it i wouldn't even kill the snake i just put in the casket alive yeah that'd be fun it always ends up being a problem we had a roommate you know in a house that we lived in had a snake it was fun party favors guys smoked pot and then you know girls would walk around with it which was kind of cool a little bit um but then it disappeared and we found it dead in a vcr slot you know so yeah don't own a snake all right uh team hank is you know how hard it is you know how hard it is to take a dead snake out of a vcr it's gotta be can't be easy yeah and there's also yeah there's a lot of people listening right now they're like what did what were those three letters he said vcr uh all right go ahead hank i'm gonna pass the baton to okay to our darling okay so i had marathon as my one one as well so you guys got me good um good board good board this next one it could happen but it would be uh oh shucks reverse jinx win the lottery oh okay like that It would be a shame if I wrong about this or 50 50 yeah see i i i am gonna win the lottery at some point yeah i don't understand why you'd even go with that one are you playing regularly why would you ever know yourself why would because every time you think you're gonna win it's just never gonna happen yeah well the odds aren't great accurate but i i don't there's nothing that you've done or will continue to i mean i guess if you don't buy tickets, then you've sealed it.
But that one seems... I don't know.
That seems more on you. It's dicey.
That's your luck, not mine. I don't even blame Jake for that pick.
I blame Hank for that pick for not letting Jake run a marathon 1-1 overall. That's bad captain shit.
Team Hank is in shambles. I love this.
I love this. We haven't voted yet.
You guys aren't the voters. No, no, but Team Hank is in shambles.
I can see it on Hank. It's right.
We haven't voted yet. You guys aren't the voters.
Yeah, no, no. But Team Hank is in shambles.

I can see it on Hank's face. It's not Team Hank.

It's where it's just all the four of us.

I gave Memes a vote as well.

I will win the lottery.

I won the lottery being with you guys.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And also lottery.

You don't have to win.

The Mount Rushmore lottery?

Yeah.

You can still say like, I won the lottery if you get one of the secondary prizes.

Yeah.

You only win like a couple mil.

Wait, isn't winning a scratch ticket?

Kind of. Yeah, that's winning the lottery.
Yeah. That money comes from a couple mil.
Wait, isn't winning a scratch ticket? Kind of.

Yeah, that's winning the lottery.

Yeah.

That money comes from the lottery.

You get $20 scratch ticket, get $5 back.

That's winning the lottery.

I actually have scratch tickets that I need to turn in that I never did.

Like, you have to mail them in.

I just never did.

Okay.

Good side note there.

It's been like three years.

For what?

I just remember that.

No, I just remember like if you get over like $600,

you have to mail them in.

And I just realized like three years ago during COVID, I did. You won $600? Yeah.
Never claimed it. It's good for three years? I don't think so.
I don't think so. I don't know why I said that out loud.
It just hit me like a ton of grace. Yeah, that doesn't make any sense because whenever the lottery goes up, they don't say like, hey, no one got the $10 million winner, but we'll give it three years before next week.
Yeah. No, yeah.
all right you got two picks ryan extreme feats of toughness i just think none of this stuff's gonna happen like when i watch the big wave surfers i go that would be awesome i got eaten up on a five footer and i it sucked i hated it like you're like oh am i gonna drown you know you're not gonna drown i can't possibly imagine what it's like when it's really big because i'm not even that good um and i'll even say you're gonna get better though that that like you can get there yeah the big stuff no way take a trip to hawaii one day no lung exercises good conditions my kidding yeah yeah i don't think that's gonna happen and then i'm just gonna throw into others that i think are under that umbrella so this is still just one pick but like whenever i read i was reading some story about this business transaction the other day where this guy was sort of a bully but he was bullying the wrong guy and the guy closed the door on him very much you know Bronx Tale style and was like look you want to get into this we'll close the door we're gonna see who walks out I love that idea I don't think I'm ever gonna have a chance in my life where I'm gonna say that to somebody because the other thing that would suck is what happens if you lose what if you say that and then you get your ass kicked but it's even worse it is it's a badass thing to say but like where am i gonna be where i get to actually do that and i don't know why i would even want to i guess it's just that element of wanting to test yourself and see where you're at because then i felt like i was getting really really soft recently not you actual to the touch, but I just felt soft. And I started looking up like these extreme outdoor, like test yourself type things.
And I was like looking at the itinerary of what it was. And I was like, I don't know, fucking Anthony Edwards is so much fun to watch right now.
I'm like, I don't think I want to do any of these things. So I just, as I get a little bit older and shit hurts more and more, and I just don't think I'm all that tough.
I just think any of the extreme acts of toughness, whether it's big wave surfing, MMA at an office, or just outdoor survivalist shit, none of it's happening. I can buy a fire starter kit.
I'm never fucking using it. Yep.
I like that pick because there's like, I'll see like videos on your Instagram of like Navy SEALs training navy seals training and it's like even just you know that those guys have been training for two months and just them crawling on a beach i'm like no i'm out on that just that when i jump into the water when it's cold i think about those guys in san diego yep and i go yeah it's a little it's a little chilly for you yeah right it's a little chilly for. It's like, okay, how about get self-induced hypothermia rolling around in the sand in this water with logs for the next two straight days? How about you do that and then talk about how you want to kind of dip in slowly to the ocean? So I'm so annoyed with how soft I think deep down I really am, which I shouldn't admit.
Where do you stand on these adventure races? Ones where you go out and you just climb over a bunch of walls.

It's like a three-mile course.

Everybody always posts about those on social media.

I've done one.

I just accomplished the mud race.

Yeah, they're so easy.

They're not hard.

That's not extreme enough, right?

No, no.

I want to...

Is there a chance I can die?

And I don't...

These obstacle courses with some mud and a rope? No. Okay.
Okay, good pick. What's your next pick coming around? Same Instagram deal.
You'll see some picture like that's amazing. And then I'll look on the map.
I'm like, oh, the northern tip of Sri Lanka. That might be really interesting.
And then I'll look at hotels. I got to start eliminating some of these places.
I'm never fucking going there. I'm never going.
So stop being enamored by some awesome posts. There's some great places in the world.
Antarctica just seems out for a million reasons. Throw the South Pole in there.
I don't think Russia would be hot on Instagram right now. You know? Be like, oh, Russo went to Russia? Figures.
Yeah. So no, not doing that.
I think there's parts of China I'm never going to see. So I've been to a bunch of places.
But this whole idea of this grand adventure, and I actually finally live like it's a little different when I was at Hartford and I'd start daydreaming about visiting all these places I think you need to start coming up with like an elimination list of stop looking at places on Instagram where you're like even this little village in Oslo I'm probably it's north of Oslo I'm never gonna fucking go there great picture though looks nice little town. Do you know what's funny? PFT and I had Antarctica on our list, and we kind of talked ourselves into maybe stumbling in there sometime.
You know, how does that happen? I don't know through it. We never know.
So I could find myself in Argentina someday. Right.
And I might totally reasonable. I might go out.
Listen, I came very close to going to Argentina twice in the last five years. And that's good enough for me.
That's why you can't put it on the list. It could happen.
You basically were in Argentina. I was.
Basically broken hands. So many of my good friends went to Argentina, and I could have gone with them.
And I could see myself one night having a big steak dinner, drinking a little too much Argentinian wine. And then they're like, hey, we found this deal.
You just take a boat, and it takes you to Antarctica for a day trip,

and then you come back.

And I could see myself getting talked into that and going on that trip.

Now, it's not likely that it's going to happen,

but it's not 100% not going to happen.

Yeah, we didn't cross it off.

It's not 100%.

See, I like that.

I mean, look, and Argentina loves kickers.

They do.

They love short guys with shaggy hair that used to play soccer. They do cocaine.
They love guys like that i mean look in argentina loves kickers they do they love they love short guys with shaggy hair that used to play soccer that do cocaine they love guys like that yeah i'm surprised you don't pod from there a couple months listen i i just think that um if i can find myself within one late night of getting drunk and making a bad decision of doing that thing then i that is kind of off my list and argentina is close enough to antarctica where i might end up there one day yeah yeah i think this is the whole exercise here maybe a little more complicated than we thought but um there's just a lot of things like i was going to put seamstress without probably never going to look i'm probably never going to learn how to sew and i know they pushed it on us back in my day when we were eighth grade you're like you're gonna you're going to need to know this stuff. You're like, probably not.
Probably not. It also requires sex change for the seamstress part.
Oh, the seam. Yeah.
So what would that be? Seamster? Seaman. Yeah.
Did you guys just make that up? You'll never be a seaman. How about this? I'm probably never going to know how to sew really well.
Okay, that's fair. Yeah, yeah.
That's a good one. It's an outdated skill.
Maybe it's on the way back.

Yeah.

All right, Hank.

Team Hank.

Phantom Thread.

This one is from Bubba, but I think it's something that everyone here can relate to.

It's Get Another Show on ESPN.

Ooh, that's a good one.

That's very relatable in this room.

Yeah, that's 100% never going to happen.

Yeah, maybe everybody on this podcast.

I'm including you in that, yeah. That's a great pick.
That's a great pick. Okay.
Ryan, what would it take for you to go back to ESPN? Support. I would never say never do it.
I mean, it's still still but it would have to be like hey we actually

you know we know you're really good and we're psyched about it yeah i'll say never that's it

yeah yeah you can say never yeah um okay uh pft you want to do our next one you want me to do

uh i'll go our next one is move to st louis it's just never we tried to figure out this one city

in the united states that we would just this is it yeah move to. I tried to do it today too.
And granted, there's a lot that you're not going to, but all right. So let me stop interrupting.
Cause I want to know how you got to the air. We were actually threw it out there and we're like, cause you know, we, we tossed around the live tour cause it's hot in the streets and we know that that's not a no for us forever.
But then we were like, combined it. And we if the Live Tour was stationed, headquartered in St.
Louis, and they offered us $200 million each? Would we move there? And we're like, nah, I don't think so. That's bullshit.
For $200 million? I mean, I know the pod does well, but give me a break. No.
Ryan, I don't. In your 30s, you wouldn't move to St.
Louis for $200 million a year. That's a lie.

No.

That's a lie.

I just re-signed for double that, Hank.

I don't need the money anymore.

If they said Indianapolis, I'd be like, I'm in.

But St. Louis, no thanks.

Yeah, name any other state.

Detroit?

Yeah, I go to Detroit.

Hartford?

Yeah, why not?

Pizza?

You go to Hartford before you go to St. Louis.

Yes, pizza.

You got a beach nearby.

St. Louis has good food.

Yeah, they've got the pizza, which is like a Ritz cracker

with ketchup and shredded mozzarella cheese on it.

Good sports town?

No.

So, yeah, we'd never move to St. Louis.

Chris Long likes St. Louis.

Well, he had to be in St. Louis.

Jason Tatum's from St. Louis.

Okay, and where is he living now?

He is?

Isn't Beal?

Yeah.

Do those guys know each other? Alright, last one for us. We're never going to try heroin intentionally.
Yep. I'm never going to go to a dealer and be like, I feel like it's a smack day.
I had this one. Yeah.
Unintentionally, we don't know. But intentionally, we're never going to try heroin you always hear about the horror stories the reefer badness stuff a drug dealer laced your cheap drugs with a much more expensive drug and that freaks you out a little bit but who knows somebody sprinkles something on something else that we try to buy I'm surprised heroin isn't bigger in nursing homes where people are just like fuck it oh dude apparently yeah i've said if i turn 100 years old i want to actually now i'm talking myself out of the pick if i know you're never doing that though if i turn 100 i wouldn't mind going out on a bat on a big batch yeah but we're never gonna do it intentionally there was there was this this sucks but there was a regular who used to show up to one of the bars i worked at and and he was always a little off, and he would dress up.
And he eventually just opened up to us that he was a recreational heroin user and that all the cliches, the stigmas are all bullshit. He's like, as long as you have it in check.
Yeah, that doesn't seem like the correct sentence. He stopped showing up.
Yeah, yeah. So we're never doing it.
It's never going to do it. That's a good pick, right? good.
That's good. This is like a PSA for everybody, too.
Never, ever. That's on the fence.
Not even once. Not even once.
All right, Team Hank, last pick. This is kind of similar to Ryan's Instagram travel destinations thing, but I always loved watching these videos when I was a kid.
And when I was younger, I was like, I'll definitely do this eventually. I don't know how, but I've kind of just accepted it's never going to happen it's it's the wingsuit diving like not not parachuting but the actual like jumping off the cliffs and like riding with the cliffs yep that i mean you have to do like a million jumps you have to become like a pro definitely gonna hit a rock yeah like i'll definitely hitting a i've never everybody once yeah i'll probably go skydiving at some point maybe eventually but but I don't think the wingsuit will ever happen.
That's a good choice. I don't think they even let you wingsuit in a safe environment.
Nobody ever jumps off a cliff into a giant valley and then just pulls a parachute. They always have to follow a river and go in between trees and rocks and shit.
There's just no upside to it none uh i i gotta say though some of the footage on the wingsuit adventures i think it's a bit like the mountain bike on the trail with the fisheye lens on the camera where everybody goes oh my god would you do this or like what was the light and then you go yeah a lot of that's the camera angle so sometimes the wingsuit footage look'm just telling you, Hank, it might not be out of the realm of possibility because I think some of the wind suit footage is shot from an angle that makes it look even more dangerous. Like when they're in some ravine between two mountain ranges and they're just going through it, I think there's more space in there.
So I wouldn't rule it out. Do you guys, I know the guidelines have changed on Instagram, but I think it used to be that there was a thing that said, like, do you want to view this like someone died? Would you guys watch it or is that just me? I would watch it.
I've seen crash videos. Yeah, I would watch it.
Yeah, I watch those every time. It almost like – I don't – when somebody sends me somebody fucking themselves up at the gym, I hate it.
Oh, I love it. I hate it.
I skip all of them. I don't like watching and like uh rock climbing with the ropes not not without the ropes but like rock climbing when they like fall off yeah i love that smash into the side oh the best love that oh i love it because i don't think i'll i'm never gonna be in that spot that's another good one i wouldn't mind buying some rock climbing equipment doubt i'm gonna do going to do it.
And I'm definitely not going to free solo.

I'm just too big.

Free soloing is insane.

Like nobody retires gracefully from free solo.

No, you just have to keep finding a more dangerous rock to climb until you fall off.

Yeah, they're like it's like wrestlers and porn stars.

They're just no old free soloers.

I don't know.

I think porn stars outlive a lot of the free soloers.

Yeah, that might be true.

Yes. See which what's the most dangerous profession.
All right, your last pick. My last pick? Yeah.
All right. I had a few more options here.
I think joining Chris Long and Kilimanjaro is out. Yeah.
I can't say. I want to do it, but yeah.
Yeah. I probably shouldn't say it's out.
He's asked us to do it numerous times. I've said, yeah, that's amazing.
And then I see some of the other guys that make it and I go, I think I'm good, but like everything fucking hurts all the time. And I can only imagine like waking up the second day going, you have to go.'t not go but god this this is a lot i think it's a lot harder than he leads on but then sometimes i'll think about some of the people that make it i go i should be able to make it if that person makes it but we've had this kilimanjaro joke going on with long for like five or six years the water boys organization shout out donate i don't think i'm probably ever doing that no no i I mean i keep saying i'm going to but i'm not let's be honest hopefully he doesn't listen as part of the show i think after you have a kid too you can't do stuff like no recreationally i might die you know like there's a chance that i would die on mount kilimanjaro yeah i don't think you would i think it's just this could fall under some of the other ones we've already hit but this one's so specific because of the personal relationship i've hosted the water boys event twice and then you always end being like it's like lebron when he's at the dunk contest that one year and announced that he'd be in the next one that decided didn't want to do it i think i've done that twice and be like and it won't be you know what and here's a thousand dollars and i'm going next year and then you realize like how expensive are the tents oh it's nine days yeah yeah i think it's a trade deadline yeah i can't do that yeah if killman joe was like Oh, it's nine days.
Yeah. Yeah.
I think it's a trade deadline. Yeah, I can't do that.
Yeah. If Kilimanjaro was, like, maybe a day and a half.
Yeah, right. Exactly.
I'd be in. If it was, like, you know, five hours of hiking and then maybe three hours of hiking, I'm in.
But, yeah, way too long. All right.
What did we miss? Anything else? Anyone else want to – anything? I thought about throwing on never going to be a car guy um but i hope someday i will be but that does seem like something either you have or you don't uh run for president it's probably or get elected president probably elected run is yeah anyone can run yeah yeah but getting elected president i feel like there's too much bad tape of us out there. Like there's just an endless supply of opposition research on.
Yeah. I think there's been a lot of evidence that some other people elected aren't the sweetest.
So, you know, a couple bad takes here or there. Joe Biden, you're talking about Biden? Yeah.
What does he think about the bike accident careful i think exercise is great for everybody yeah there you go uh i don't think i'm ever going to streak at a game good right no one wants to see it why would i do it like i don't were you ever thinking like no did this grow from a 10 wait what did it grow from 10 to 0 no but like you know when you're in your like 20s you could you know if you're dumb enough

and you get you know like all your buddies get talked into it you know like oh yeah like one

of us has to do it like i that just would be a no forever i also think streaking it just gets

tossed out there all the time for any idiot that's on the field that's true we need to

bring the original definite like unless you're naked you're not a streaker right you're just

We'll be right back. It just gets tossed out there all the time for any idiot that's on the field.
That's true. We need to bring the original definite.

Unless you're naked, you're not a streaker, right?

You're just a trespasser.

Yeah, but I do love.

I feel like people have opened up.

I don't know how it's happened, but the whole thing in the beginning of like,

hey, never show the people doing it.

I feel like we're getting to see more of it. Maybe it's because people started chaining themselves to the baskets are trying to glue themselves to the court but yeah i think there's like a really weird we've we've we've sort of pivoted into showing a little bit more of this stuff so if that means more people doing stuff uh i know it's well i don't know i'm just entertained by it which I know is maybe bad to admit.
The last thing I had was learn a new language. Not going to do it.
No, I think you'll want to do that when you get a little bit older. Apparently, it helps you with Alzheimer's.
Okay, so I'm not going to do it still. Well, enjoy Alzheimer's then, dude.
Yeah, that's true. But still, I think I would rather have Alzheimer's than learn a new language.
You really don't think you'll ever learn anything else? Not a new language. Like, fluent in a new language would take so much.
I don't want to go back to school. Hank already had that pick.
He's not getting his college degree. Fuck no.
Like, could you imagine sitting down and trying to learn an entirely new language? What languages do you know? I could barely do English. What's your love language, though? What about sign language? Sign language would be sick.
That's so in right now, Dakota. That's true.
Yeah, I feel like sign language, if you have somebody that comes into your life that's deaf, sign language, it's on the table. Shit, you're right.
Okay, that's a good point. That's why we didn't pick it.
Yeah, that's a good point. It's a good point there's a good leave off yeah yeah you're right i had uh read the bible cover to cover not that's such a good pick i'm never doing that not gonna do that ever it is something that has anyone ever done it has anyone ever read it cover to cover no one memorized a couple phrases not even the popes have done it they're just like okay i think we have we know the 10 commandments and uh that's about it that's really all you need to know.
Yeah, and by the way, like font size. What a plot holes if you go through the full thing, too.
True. Absolutely.
If you wrote that today, there'd be some producer would be like, I just don't. A little unorganized.
Yeah, the main characters are just not well-rounded enough. Could the bush explode instead of just kind of smolder for a while some c4 in that um michael bay does the bible i would watch that movie yeah the bible a jerry bruckheimer joint yeah oh so wait a minute so the so the man are all the strong characters yeah does the bible pass the bechdel test yeah there's a lot of bad takes it's a lot of there should be a twitter account old takes exposed for the test? Yeah.
There's a lot of bad takes. There's a lot of takes.

There should be a Twitter account, old takes exposed for the Bible.

Yeah.

Oh, big yikes, my guy.

Cancel.

This didn't age well.

Well, right.

I mean, it was 2,000 years ago.

Okay.

That was a good Mount Rushmore.

I feel good about that.

I feel good about it. Was it?

Yes.

I don't know. You're always doubting yourself.
No know I'm always doubting the Mount Rushmore's oh okay yeah after the rest of the stuff I feel great about the floor I realized we will we will come to an agreement yeah beforehand yeah it's like a team thing that's the whole point like PFT and I sat down 15 minutes talked it through took some things off came to a consensus we I feel very strong about our four. We're going to dominate this Mount Rushmore season.
Yeah, it's a super team. Whatever, Hank.
All right, Hank, go do your meeting. All right.
Ryan, thanks, Hank. I'll follow up about that video.
Yeah, follow up. We'll circle back about the video.
Yeah, yeah, we'll get that. Per my email, can you reply with the video? It's a deliverable I need.
Yeah. We're going to get back to Ryan ryan in a second but before we do he's brought to you by shopify shopify the all-in-one commerce platform to start run and grow your business shopify gives entrepreneurs the resources once reserved for big business so upstarts startups and established businesses alike can sell everywhere synchronize online and in-person sales and effortlessly stay informed.
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Go to shopify.com slash take right now. Now, here's more Ryan Rosillo.
Ryan, let's do- I hope this email finds you well. Let's do 15 minutes on the draft because you've crunched actually all the tape and you have real takes instead of us just throwing shit out there.
Where do you want to start? Is Chet going to be one? I know you love Pa paolo which i do i'm a paolo guy uh which i think it puts me in the minority but there's some really weird stuff happening rumor wise with it which you know i'll just share but i don't know how definitive any of the stuff is i still think it's kind of funny that those are from the outside we'll have these moments we're like oh none of us saw that coming we're like no shit like there's stuff that we're just not going But yeah, I watched the top probably 45 guys. I used to watch the top 70 guys, even though it's 60 picks because I actually did the draft for five years.
So I got sick of reading other people's scouting reports and just memorizing them. So, you know, I have synergy and I can sit and watch everybody anywhere that's played anywhere in the world that's on the radar.
So when I went back through it, I've changed my mind a million times. If you're a check guy guy, I'm not going to tell you you're wrong because we haven't really seen what Chet could potentially be.
The ceiling thing is a real thing. And if you summed up the way he played against Zaga for a year, I'd say he did everything right.
He never did the wrong thing. He always did the right thing.
They ran the fourth most amount of plays for Chet. There were three guys getting more touches ahead of him.
He was a center on defense. He was a guard on offense.
and he played really well when he was off the right thing they ran the fourth most amount of plays for chet you know three guys getting more touches ahead of him he was a center on defense he was a guard on offense and he played really well when he was off the ball too he made good decisions he could handle he could shoot it's incredible he just looks different physically and if i thought chet was close with somebody else where i said uh you know what evaluation right now and i'm still a little worried about chet's body the shoulders the back you know the neck thing um you know that might be a tiebreaker for me. So that's why I feel like Paolo, I don't think there's any debate that Paolo is the best player of the three of he, Jabari, and Chet right now.
But that's not what the job is. The job is to go star hunting.
That's why certain teams will take absolutely like close your eyes, swing as hard as you can type of picks over an established guy that might be a rotation guy. It's like the Giannis thing.
When Milwaukee took Giannis in the middle of the first round, I talked to him after. I was like, what did you see? And they went, you know what? He figured if he ever filled out and had a chance physically to be a dominant player, and not only did he fill out, he added like 50 pounds of muscle and got taller and everything else.
And then the rest of it came, and he had the perfect personality and demeanor to work hard and have all the success that he's had. So if somebody said, I'm taking Chet because he projects, like the best version of him projects to be better than Paolo and Jabari, I'm not going to tell them that they're wrong.
There's been moments where I really like Jabari because it's 6'10", and his shooting over 40% from three, and the fact that I still think he took a lot of bad shots because Auburn's guards were terrible. I think he'll be even a better shooter in the NBA, and I think he steps right in and kind of knows what he's doing defensively at a really high level, which is incredible for a guy that's as young as him.
And physically, I think he holds up immediately. But he doesn't really initiate a lot of his own offense.
It doesn't look like he's much of a ball handler. He wasn't really asked to do those things, but I never really saw it.
Where I think of basketball today in the NBA, you kind of default to high pick and roll. And can you do three things? Can you dribble off of it? Can you pass off of it? Are you someone that still has to be defended on his shot making? And Powell could get a little bit better on the shot making, get a little bit better on the rebounding.
But I felt like Duke when they had moments where they absolutely needed him. And I would say like there's a four minute stretch towards the end of that Texas Tech game.
the last couple minutes because Roach took over but there was like a six to maybe four two minute stretch there or four where Paolo just took over as a 6-10 playmaker dribbling off of high ball screens and to me that's what the game is and that's fucking insane that he has that in him now and those other two guys don't have it so for me I like Paolo the most if he went third I wouldn't tell the other two teams are stupid because it's it's now and it's an and it's a projection and it seems like everybody's projecting the other two guys to be more complete so there you go if chet doesn't fill out is that really that significant of a knock on him because there yeah there's some skinny players in the nba maybe nobody would like you know his shoulder size but you don't have to be muscle bound you don't have to be jacked up to be a great nba player no but i mean he's a year older than jabari is and he's six months older so chet's the oldest of the three guys uh when i look at his dad his dad looks like he's filled out i mean obviously most dads do look bigger than us uh their dads and then sometimes their dads are even bigger right uh the fuck's true. If you look at dads, dads are sometimes bigger than their sons.
Okay. Workaholics joke.
But the thing is, like, okay, he has to – like, guys are going to fill out, right? Some people take a lot later than other people to fill out, right? But he gets his ass knocked around a decent amount at the size and he did it like i can look at paolo and go okay watch his first half against gonzaga when he hit 18 points like you watch that first half you go wait why are we debating this at all even chet's doing some really good stuff in there he's not doing you know he's not doing what paolo's doing paolo's taking over games um and i still think chet like he you you look at the conference that Gonzaga plays in and they win a million games and all that kind of stuff. It was just, it's not always the same thing.
But then I'll talk to, I don't know, I was talking to an assistant GM the other day who was like, I was at this all-star practice thing where Chet was unbelievable. Like, he was getting frozen out by the other players.
And who's this guy? He hadn't played in college yet. Everybody's talking about him being the number one guy one guy and he's like he just went out there and blocked everybody's shot like the entire showcase so uh there's arguments very very strong arguments for all three guys so all right big picture where does this draft rank overall and where does it where does the draft i love i love whenever they're like here's the cliff because we know jayaden Ivey is obviously going to be probably the fourth pick.
Where's the cliff in this draft? Are there multiple cliffs where you're like, all right, top four, those are all possible all-stars, and then you're getting into rotation guys, and then it falls off a cliff? Man, that's a tough one because it's, you know, every draft, like it's crazy how many top 10 picks recently, like two years after they're taken to the top 10, they're on another team. Like it's an incredible trend that's going on right now.
And sometimes it's because you were drafted fourth, you have value in a trade somewhere else. but it's like some of these drafts you like see seven of the top ten picks already gone to their second team after only just a couple years, like over two in less than three years.
So everyone's talked up the Ivy. Does it end after those three guys? I think it ends after Ivy.
I do think he's that good. But the St.
Peter's game was so bad that there's still some stink on him from that one. But if you watch some of the under-19 international stuff that we saw with chet last year when they went up against the french kid will be the number one pick next year um jayden was really spectacular and there's there's just something to be said about a guy that moves unlike everybody else like they don't make a lot of people that move on a basketball court like jayden ivy and when his he's cutting off the ball he's just faster than everybody else he also looks bigger to me but that second group I would have Matherin ahead of Keegan Murray uh that's not some huge stretch some people most people I think do I think the Dyson Daniels kid the Australian there's a bunch of Australian kids I actually like in this draft but Dyson is this bigger guard kind of combo guard who does everything except really shoot it well at this point, and he already plays good defense.

There's that second – some people would have Johnny Davis in it.

Some people have Dern, the Memphis kid in there.

Shaden Sharp is an absolute mystery.

The kid who was supposed to play at Kentucky,

and the only thing I have on him is the EYBL. And I'm telling you right now, it's crazy.

If I had to write one sentence on his scouting report,

I'd be like, he plays like already older James Harden.

He dribbles and dribbles, and then he takes these absurd threes, and it looks like it sucks to play with, but it actually goes in. Like, it goes in a lot, and you're thinking, all right, well, 6'6", if he can actually make these kinds of shots, you may have something, even if I don't like watching it.
So I think that group kind of is a toss-up anywhere between 5 and 14, where I think there's a cutoff, depending on if you like Malachi Branham more from Ohio State than, say, Abaji, who's a senior at Kansas. I like Malachi more, but I get that people feel like Abaji's the finished product, is the 3 and D guy, and he got to 40% from 3 this year.
I know no one likes centers anymore, but I'd have to think Mark Williams has a decent role and then Sohan from Baylor who you know I know you guys watch enough of it he's just so different like he's not going to score really he's not going to shoot but he gets out there with his edge his athleticism he's I think what six nine and he just impacts basketball games I wouldn't call him Draymond Green because Draymond's passing and vision is really pretty special. And that's, I think, what makes Draymond Draymond.
But there are some elements to his game where he really, really impacts the game, which you kind of like when you're taking a guy with a lottery and you go, hey, he might get like six points a game. You think, okay, I'm really disappointed.
But he's so unique in that, hey, get him out there, let him switch. I think he even played some center for Baylor this year.
Let him get out there and run transition and he's got some attitude he's got some confidence and he's still a young guy so it feels like after Ivy where I'd have those top four guys in the first tier there's a order that feels like it's pretty normal based on what the mocks are but I think around that 14-15 you're starting to see another cutoff to whatever the third tier is okay with Johnny Davis davis i um i can break some news here if he's on the board at 10 the wizards are taking him how about that that's um pretty good can you also break the news on what the fuck that taco bell ad is about yeah i was a little upset because they didn't do uh they're like johnny davis and they didn't say from the university of wisconsin would have been nice to get a little bit there because we're not usually in the lottery. Would have been nice.
Would have been nice. Who's your last lottery guy, Devin? Frank.
Frank. Come on.
Frank was nice. Yeah.
Frank and Sam were the last Badgers in the first round, right? Yeah. Fuck, man.
Why would you do that? I forgot Frank was in the lottery. Yeah.
Frank was in the lottery. Yeah, his big lottery.
He was on the cover of Sports Illustrated, right? He was National Player of the Year. I don't know if you remember that, Ryan.
I do. I was rooting for you guys.
Yeah. I was rooting for you guys that year.
Do you like Johnny Davis, though? Here's what I love. I love the way he plays in that you can see that he's a football player out there.
I love his reboundingounding man like when when the ball is up that guy doesn't give a shit he is going to go up there and he's going to end up with a ball more than you would think at his size I don't love the shooting numbers but he takes a lot of shots there's no way anyone's going to ask him to take those in the NBA because let's face it that Wisconsin team wasn't that great you know there's a reason why as soon as he was off the court you were like okay where are the buckets coming from so it felt like there were a lot of bad shots but I don't know if those are because of his own you know the way he sees the game or it was like well me taking a bad shot and contested step back with two guys on me is still better than me getting it back to the guards and having them run whatever they want to run so there's some mid-range stuff in him that are nice shots that he makes but then there's also times where he gets caught in traffic and he's just kind of going up and trying to go up against these other guys it gets contested so I think the numbers can be a little misleading because I think he had to take a lot of bad shots whether that was his own poor decision also necessity of what that team was or wasn't so I like that part of it I can talk myself into. But then when I think about like Matherin and having a little bit more size and being a little bit more dynamic and shooting the basketball better, like that's where, you know, again, I don't think this is, I don't know that anybody has Johnny Davis ahead of Matherin, but that's why I would always have Davis kind of behind some of these other dudes.
Like Duren, the Memphis kid is tough because there's times where I watched him where I felt like he wasn't making a huge impact and other times where I felt like he was the most physically imposing player on the court uh in games that he was there but then you're like okay am I am I drafting a backup five though like in the top 10 and I think he's the youngest guy out of all of them and I even you know there's moments where I really like AJ Griffin from Duke but he's been hurt twice in high school he got hurt in the first year at Duke the Duke group is a really weird group because there's a lot of guys that want the ball in their hands, and they still found a way to be a successful basketball team with so many different people having to kind of make sure they shared enough while also getting their own. And for AJ, he was stuck in the corner a lot, where I would have loved to have seen him have more time with the basketball and making more decisions because I think he had some of that in it.
If. were healthier historically, maybe he's the fifth or sixth guy in this, although I guess defensively he didn't really wow anybody this year.
Yeah, I mean, I like A.J. Griffin.
Johnny Davis, to me, I think he's going to be a good pro. His injury against Nebraska, he came back from that, obviously, and played in the Big Ten tournament and the NCAA tournament he wasn't the same guy like his explosiveness wasn't there and like you said the team around him wasn't great and he just was he was swamped by people in in in the lane constantly so I I just think he's a smart kid who's gonna he's gonna be good he's gonna I think he's got some juice to him too like there's there's there's a never smiles never smile now you would have a hard time believing that like johnny davis would be overwhelmed by any of it he might be from a size standpoint just a little shorter than what you'd want ideally but his just watching the way that guy rebounds and thinks he has a chance at every loose ball dog he's got's got dog in him.
Yeah, he's got some dog in him. Who's got the most dog in him? Because that's kind of the hot new thing.
Like, who's got that dog? If you were just drafting on dog alone. Dog alone will be Matherin.
Okay. Yeah.
What about when he kind of maybe touched that cheerleader's breast

i think the way that he handled it after the fact tells you he's ready for any kind of controversy yeah yeah yeah yeah true what about which australian has the most dog in him dingo who's got the most yeah yeah that's a good call australians do love canines historically

historically

I mean the way you described

that one kid from Australia, he sounded like you're getting close to Ben Simmons' territory. You're like, he's big.
He can defend really well. He's not a great shooter, doesn't enjoy the rim.
Well, I don't know if he's a frauder yet. So, you know, like, we'll hold off until confirmation but like who's the Australian that I like Usman Jang well I don't know if you will I think you're more of a Hugo Besson guy who'll be a second rounder Hugo New Zealand breakers was watching a lot of Matt Walsh stuff yesterday and today New Zealand has this kid named Usman Jang who's actually French who somebody down there had told me about a year ahead of time.
And it's like, okay, all right. When I get to it, I'll get to it.
He's 6'10", and I think he just turned 19 in May. I heard he has a promise at the back end of the lottery.
I don't think he's going to be there because he is legitimately 6'10". The shooting numbers aren't very good.
The points per possession stuff, there's a lot of metric stuff in there that aren't, it's just not that good. But he's already so good.
He's not running the offense. He gets stuck in the corner a little bit.
He had this kind of weird thing where he sat out. I don't know if it was because he got hurt or something in the middle of the season.
So he has these two distinct parts of his first season where he was a much better player in the second half of the season. He has this game against, I think it's the Southeast Melbourne Phoenix, where he doesn't miss a shot for almost the entire start of the game.
And I don't know that he gets enough respect for like, okay, it's his size, he needs to get better at shooting and all this other stuff. But when he gets blitzed on the pick and roll, right? When he's pick and roll ball handler, and then a lot of defenses will just set their thing and be like, let's just have two on the ball, screw them up, delay them, the whole thing.
Because he's so big and he has the mind that works it, he's just like, oh, cool. Two guys are with me.
Let me just throw it over the top of you and then start kind of a four and three advantage behind you. And he kept doing it and getting it right right over and over and over again and he could also handle at that size because I think he's one of those late growth spurt dudes and he gets really low on the dribble now if you say oh he gets to the pros and nobody lets him handle the basketball which would be awful because I think it's one of the parts of his game I like it's just it's hard to watch this kid at 610 this young and make some of the shots he makes, make some of the passes he makes,

and still have the handle, and do some of the things on help defense

and just kind of move where you're not like,

wait, why isn't this guy a bigger deal?

Because the first time I watched him, I think he was ranked in the 20s,

and now I don't think he'll be there for where he's promised in the lottery.

Okay, I like that.

All right, give me one last question about the lottery,

or sorry, the draft on Thursday night.

It's the rowback question. Use code TAKE for 20% off your first purchase.
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TAKE for 20% off your first purchase. Give us the one person that you would put your reputation on.
And now you don't have much of a reputation left because of the Chris Paul thing that we talked about. But if you did have a reputation, what would you stake it on in terms of like this guy, he's going to be everything.
Do you remember the shit he was doing in that game? Yeah. And then Manic fouled him.
It was kind of a bullshit play by him. Knocked the shit out of of him i just think that sohan's got some way that he's wired that he's going to impact games in a very unique he like he's i think he's the kind of guy if it goes right that every team's like shit we need somebody like that um but it's also very risky for me to say like hey i'm putting my reputation on this dude because it's not like he has if you had to describe him to somebody who's never watched him before you'd be be like, wait, what's the deal? Like, I didn't really score a ton.
I didn't really shoot it all that great. Like, God, I fucking love him.
And he's got cool hair. When he dyes the hair? No, I've noticed that.
A lot of different hairstyles there. Yeah.
Is that a plus or is that a red flag? If he's good, it's a huge plus. If he stinks, he'd be like, this guy's worried about his hair, fucking should have known.
It is so funny whenever Marcus Smart dyed his hair green and if he had a bad game, it's like, what are you doing, dude? It really, it's something to point to. It's like fat relievers.
Yeah. If you're going to be bad, be quiet, right? I mean, that's kind of the way it works.
If you're loud and bad, it's way worse than when you just shut up and lose. Yeah.
So who's the guy that you think is going to be? Shut up and lose a good t-shirt? Yeah, I like that. It might be a good book.
Shut up and lose. What about who's going to be the biggest bust of this draft? Oh, I like it.
Tell me who a bust is. Yeah.
And I want this clip to be played on TNT after games when they interview a player that just went off for 29 points. And he's like, that interview with Brian Russillo where he told me I was going to stink, that took me to the next level.
Yeah. Yeah, no, that's good.
I always like whenever I can help somebody reach their ceiling by doubting them before the draft. Because I think about it and people hate draft stuff the most because i think everyone wants to believe that everybody else that does it for a living is terrible and then they're like i watch a lot of games i know who's good and bad and then that's the guy that's never lost a bet in his life and he's always telling you that he's always right and all the draft experts are idiots the draft thing is always like this really weird dynamic where people get really really mad at draft people maybe more so than just other analysts in general but then whenever i try to explain it to like my buddies who'll be like oh mel kiper mcshay your boy they're the worst like they're so bad at it i'm like what you're pointing out the times they made mistakes i was like half of us get divorced and we have way more tape yeah that's true you know yeah so way more tape so i'm gonna take it trevor keels no no that's too late he's too late in the draft, and I'm not sure.
I would say he kind of floated in and out of it. Who's the bust? I don't.
Give us a bust. Give us an 18-year-old that you wanted to shit off.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right before the biggest moment of his life.
Fraud bust. Yeah, this guy sucks.
Jaden Hardy could get a little bit better as far as his decision-making. It's pretty funny, but he might not even be enough on the radar.
You know, a G League guy, his stock has gone down from where it was at the beginning of the year. The Shaden Sharp thing, I'll tell you right now, even though people are very enamored with the shooting ability, 6'6", and all that kind of stuff, to this point, it hasn't made a ton of sense to me.
when I watched the EYBL stuff which again is limited compared to getting to watch him in in college which we didn't get the chance to see uh even his answers to stuff sometimes I'd be like where is this guy's head at even though I get it he's really really young but the stuff that I even saw that I had access to I didn't really like um but I've made that mistake before like when I watched LMelo stuff in Australia I didn't really like it uh and then he turned out to be an incredibly skilled player who was just better when he was around other better players and shot it even better than he was it was almost like he was so bored and disrespectful of Australia that it was like it was hard to watch him in those games and go okay this guy's gonna be an awesome rookie of your candidate. the year candidate.
So, yeah, the sharp part of it is a little weird for me. He's Canadian, though, like Wiggins.
Another home run of a draft pick. They're on the rise.
Yeah, Team Canada, man. Look out.
All I want out of this draft is for the Nuggets to take Nikola Jovich. That's all I want.
He's good. Yeah, it would be great.
It would be great if we got everyone confused with that. I want to just get...
I can't wait to see what happens with Gabriel Puchida. He's one of my favorites.
Lake Como, a place that I have screen grabbed on Instagram that I would not take on the Mount Rushmore things I'll never do because I could see that happening fairly soon. But this kid is awesome, man.
Six, seven, fucking dunks it on people, tries to throw it around his back. The older guys on his team get super mad at him because he's 18.
He's way better than everybody else. And they'll yell at him.
It's like dad's yelling at you about don't go around your back. And it's like, how about you catch it instead of getting mad at me about it? And then he like steals it.
He hits threes actually is already selling the three-point contact a little bit too much which is just i wish american refs understood what they're doing to the game globally because there's some kid growing up in yugoslavia right now just bailing on a three-point shooter trying to get contact and it's because the adults are messing it up but that's a different podcast yeah we can do that staff ruined basketball. Steph ruined basketball.
Yeah, he did. All right, well, Ryan, thank you as always.
I'm excited for the draft. I thought we had a great Rushmore, and I love the shirt.
We love the shirt. Yeah, talk to me about the shirt.
It says, I heart at real Skip Bayless. You and I, we share a great deal of affinity for both Skip and Stephen A.
No, we don't. We don't share that.
I don skip everybody knows your shirt says you love him shirt does you don't like him you love him yeah uh no i'm gonna send this to you because it's cutting off the circulation of my arms it's so small but the thing is is that espn you guys don't understand there would be all this leftover promotional stuff and they would throw it in this radio conference room that no one ever used in the radio department. And so just scavengers, excuse me, vultures just being like, man, picking this up.
Like all these, like, didn't I give you the Mike and Mike All-Star Weekend of Cincinnati? It was an old timey baseball shirt. It's small on me.
I can only imagine what it looked like on you so i used to grab those especially towards the end when i was kind of over it all but still gave you a effort for work i want that on the record but i would i would start like wearing the leftover giveaway shirts on the air during the simulcast so i would have like you know mike and mike the weekend. Yeah.
Sure. And I would wear it.
I'd be like Mike and Mike the mess when they went to Disney and like threw stuff at each other on an amusement park. And that was like a whole thing.
You're saying that with like a, you're acting like it wasn't an iconic moment in radio history. No, the reason why the Mike and Mike the mess is funny and I'm not like good for them you know they were very good at like the disney part of it but then one of the radio managers i remember came in and like scott and i were getting ready for the show and he was like did you see the uh the mike the mike mike and mike the mess did you see that it went down to disney and they did the uh the obstacle course they made a they made a big mess they made a big mess they called it mike and Mike the mess.
Remember? Did you see that? And Van Pelt's like, yeah. He goes, we need something.
We need your mess equivalent. We need something like that.
And you guys think I'm tough. Scott was like, yeah, I'm not doing that.
And the guy would be like, you know, and it sucked for the manager because the manager was like let me kick it around with the boys 15 minutes before they go live here but you guys have a we need a little brainstorm session we need you guys to come up with some sort of equivalent of Mike and Mike the mess for the SVP show and Scott was like yeah I'm not flying to Disney and throwing fucking fucking Boston cream pies at Rosillo and then calling it a show.

I'm not doing that.

I would have watched that.

Right.

And then the guy would be like, okay, good talk.

You guys have a good show today.

And then we wouldn't hear from anybody in a couple months.

So that's why I always think that shirt was hilarious.

And then I would kind of give them out to guys.

But I've been hanging on to this.

I love Skip Bayless one forever. So we got to get to PFT.
Please will absolutely love i'll send it to you yeah i'll send it to you i was gonna wear it on cowherd show one more time and then maybe i'll let it go love it love it uh all right well ryan thank you as always you're our favorite uh we appreciate it and uh please do share the the father's day gift i gave to you because it cost me 300 bucks so it's not cheap man nope and yeah we'll talk about it i'll post it today i'll actually post it today we'll post it as soon as this pod is up i'll then post it and the whole deal and whatever so thank you so much for you guys having me on you know i do really appreciate it so we'll talk soon all right all right thanks you ryan ryan rossillo is Mugsy Jeans. Mugsy's are the most comfortable men's jeans on the planet.
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Promo code take 10% off your entire order at mugsy.com. Okay, let's wrap up.
We got guys on chicks. Let's do it.
Let's do it. Hey, boys.
My fiance and I were having very normal sex sesh last night when all of a sudden he stops mid-doggy and stands there in stunned silence. When I asked him what was wrong, he just said, look on the nightstand.
On the nightstand, there was what appeared to be our bottle of lube that we had been using. Upon further inspection, I realized that we had in fact been using a bottle of hand sanitizer that looked exactly like our lube bottle.
Everything felt normal, and I watched myself thoroughly afterwards, but I need to know, am I going to be okay? I think you'll be all right, but I don't know. Well, your vagina definitely does have coronavirus.
Well, I was going to say, it might be the vaccine to coronavirus. Remember that article in Peak Corona when it was like, bleach your asshole, and you'll never get coronavirus? Sun your asshole.
Sun your asshole. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Sun your asshole.
Yeah, yeah get coronavirus on your ass on your asshole yeah yeah but yeah sun your asshole yeah yeah sit sit and sun your asshole so that might be what's happening here you just solved coronavirus yeah or you also may have just stumbled upon maybe the best form of birth control of all time like i'm not a doctor i'm not an objen but i do know you never have it i do know that um you know people always say like oh if you dou douche with Coca-Cola afterwards, that's like an old wives tale. Yeah.
Way back in the day. You're not going to get pregnant.
I'm I'm like ninety nine point nine percent sure that you maybe Antonio Cromartie could do this. But most people's sperm cannot fight through hand sanitizer.
Nick Cannon. Yeah.
Nick Cannon is just very open about like future. How many Nick? It didn't it.
Didn't Nick Cannon have four kids like on the way He has like something like six kids within like two years of each other Yeah right And none of them have the same That's kind of cool Like they can all play on the same team Little league team That would be kind of cool I think He could probably do like five on five basketball Yeah There was definitely a moment when I think three women were pregnant at the same time with nick cannon but like they can all just be friends yeah hi how do you make that mistake though like i know i see i think he's i think he's very open about being like no no no no not him the guy with a hand sanitizer yeah i'd be concerned that your fiance is an idiot because i don't know any lube that looks like yeah they send pictures it doesn't really even't really even look that similar. So you don't make the mistake of having a tube of lube.

Not even the same size bottle.

Or a hand sanitizer that has the push down handle on it.

Also, you're kind of an idiot for just like,

why wouldn't you just keep going if it doesn't?

Like, wouldn't you feel it before you?

Yeah, it would sting.

But it sounds like that didn't happen.

They just were like, oh my God, look at the hand sanitizer.

Also, it sounds like this guy's a beta that doesn't make his girl wet enough.

Facts.

I'm just kidding. We're a pro lube

podcast. Yeah.

Or not, if you don't want

to. For the last six

months, every time my boyfriend and I are getting

ready to have sex and start taking each other's clothes

off, he constantly sings the meme

song, oh no, oh no, oh no, no oh no no no no no like over and over and over again when he's about to put it in me he starts singing again right before it's getting awful and making me hate him only way i can think of to get him to stop is if i tell him i just won't have sex with him anymore if he continues any other advice you guys have that could help start singing uh all the small things yeah right back at him or get him hooked on the uh maybe he just becomes like a meme guy and it's just what's the one the if your money don't jiggle jiggle it rolls that one just got nailed that one is that what it is but that one's not as like you gotta sing it you can just go oh no oh no that's very funny oh no no no yeah I kinda like that I think maybe get a better sense of humor I don't know what he's going for on that shit's about to go down in his brain maybe he just premature ejaculates all the time it's about to be really bad now that would be funny if he's like if he's self-deprecating 30 seconds in he's like oh no oh no no no hey big cat pft haughty hank jake liam memes i'm in a friend group with five guys and me and two other girls it's always fun together whenever we get back from college but over winter break three of them told me that they have had feelings for me for various amounts of time three now that we've all been home for the summer for a while i haven't seen any of them and i still want to be friends with them and hang out with them how can i get them to hang out with me or should i just move on yeah well i need to know the breakdown is it three three of the guys that told you that or was it two of the guys and one of the girls that told you that oh that would be an interesting plot twist three of them that's tough for three because that means they probably all have told each maybe not told each other but like there's tension there either that or they were playing a prank on you and like the last night they're like you want to have some fun let's all tell her that we love her maybe you just maybe you just say that you're gonna fuck all of them and then just see

all their dicks and then tell each other like who's got the smallest one and that would shut

it down pretty quick i think oh you guys all have small dicks i think you gotta say like i feel the

same way about all three of you let's the four of us pull a reverse dk go into the bedroom and

all go out at the same time yes see how much they much they love you. Yeah, make me airtight.
Yes. Oh, my God.
VFD. It's just an idea.
We're spitballing here, right? We are. We are.
Let's be real. That's the only way that this turns out well, is if you fuck all three of them.
Yeah, at the same time. Yeah.
So there you go. You just have to, because that way you would probably break up the entire friend group, and it wouldn't just be you bouncing out of it.
Go get airtight, baby. College.
All right, last one. I don't know how we're going to follow that one up.
This is kind of Jake related. My boyfriend and I have been dating for some time now, and we have been trying to spice things up.
past week insisted no wait I can't read but this past week during a sexy time sesh he insisted on tonguing down my chili ring while I'm not opposed to him eating my ass I just can't get past how he worded it I don't like the thought of my butt being called the chili ring is this a reasonable turn off or should I just let him have his fun cake marsh what do you literally said spice things up i think it needs to be called the way that biz calls it like chili ring doesn't sound enticing is that is that like chili no i love chili fritos those are good like the cheerios leather cheerios is like yeah cheerios seems like a harmless kind of food. Yeah, good for your heart.
But chili could mess up your stomach.

Yeah.

So I think you got to change the word.

But it's already on the flip side.

Okay, so the problem is with the word chili, it implies that it's not clean.

Correct.

You need to have something that implies clean.

I like leather Cheerio.

Yeah, leather Cheerio.

That's biz.

I like just hoop.

That's what biz says.

Listen, leather Cheerio sounds good.

Cornhole.

Right.

Cornhole is a little tough. I like leather Cheerio, though.
Yeah. Yeah.
That's classy. Yeah, exactly.
You know what I mean? Chili is just like... We love chili, but it's like...
We do. Sounds like you don't.
Leather Cheerio would... Jake, when was the last time you had chili, knowing your bowels? Oh, I want to say the winter.
That is chili hole. Probably January or February.
Is when you last had chili hole? Yeah. Nice.
Leather Cheerio would be an awesome horse name. Yeah.
Could you imagine Leather Cheerio winning the Kentucky Derby? And no one would know the real meaning. Most people would know the real meaning, but there would be a lot of people who wouldn't.
It would be very funny.

I only understood Leather Cheerio via context clue because it was Biz Nasty saying it.

So if you don't understand a word that Paul Bissonette says, chances are he's talking about a butthole.

That's true.

But if somebody were to just be like Leather Cheerio, I would just picture a Leather Cheerio.

That's it. I think you could name a horse that certainly.

Yeah, so if we ever get a horse, we're naming it Leather Cheerio.

If anyone else names it Leather Cheerio, you owe us money.

If we see Leather Cheerio winning a race, you owe us money.

That's a fact.

Okay, great show.

Matthew Fitzpatrick on Friday, great interview.

We're going to have a Mount Rushmore with Joey and Pat as well.

And then next week we will have the Verstappen and Sergio Perez interview

because we didn't want to.

They deserve their own show.

They were very, very good.

Let's do numbers.

69.

Six.

What's the numbers that I can pick from?

Six.

Liam took 26, 27, 29, 51, 78.

I dig it every time.

Oh, someone said that 51's coming,

so I'm going to trust that guy whoever tweeted it.

15.

51's coming. 25.
Ooh, 15 for Hank Tebow. 83.
Draymond Green. 83.
It's Welker, right? Yeah. Well, same guy.
Yeah. All right.
Anyone got an animal fact?

My animal fact is that saltwater crocodiles, if you touch them on the nose, they get hypnotized.

Saltwater taffy is made through saltwater crocodile skin.

Come.

Saltwater croc come.