SCF Preview With Ryan Whitney, Warriors Take 3-2 Lead & Guys On Chicks With Arian Foster

2h 4m

The Warriors take a 3-2 lead and we go around the room throwing takes at the wall until one sticks. Hank talks about how he’s feeling going into Thursday night and more. (00:02:19-00:34:35) Hot Seat Cool Throne including Brooks and Bryson and Zach Wilson looking crispy. (00:35:45-00:55:09) Ryan Whitney joins the show to talk about his international incident and previews the SCF final with some talking basketball as well. (00:56:41-01:33:08) We finish with a special guys on chicks with Arian Foster (01:34:06-02:00:58)


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Runtime: 2h 4m

Transcript

Speaker 1 Hey, Pardon My Take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.

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Speaker 1 On today's Pardon My Take, we have our good good friend Ryan Whitney on to talk about the Stanley Cup final, get you ready for the lightning versus the avalanche.

Speaker 1 Also talk about how he has created an international incident in Canada. We have our good friend Arian Foster on for Guys on Chicks, special Guys on Chicks.

Speaker 1 And then we're going to talk game five of the NBA Finals. A little hot seat, cool throne, a great Wednesday show for you.

Speaker 3 And we're brought to you when Cool Creamy Ranch meets tangy, bold buffalo. The whole is greater than the sum of its sauce.

Speaker 3 Say howdy, partner, to new Buffalo Ranch sauce only at McDonald's for a limited time.

Speaker 4 At participating, McDonald's.

Speaker 4 Now in the street, there is violence,

Speaker 4 and then a lot of soft work to be done.

Speaker 4 No place to hang out or washing,

Speaker 4 and then I can't name all on the sun. Oh no, we're gonna rock it down to Elite Trick Avenue

Speaker 4 and then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 4 Oh, we're gonna rock it down to Elan Trick IV.

Speaker 5 It's part of my take.

Speaker 1 This is another March 2 sports.

Speaker 1 Welcome to Part of My Take

Speaker 1 presented by Visible. Go to visible.com/slash pod and get unlimited single-line wireless for as low as $25 a month.

Speaker 1 Also, tag us and visible on Twitter and Instagram on who was the most visible player in the NBA Finals. And you can win a free signed basketball jersey by us.
Today is Wednesday, June 15th.

Speaker 1 And Andrew Wiggins has arrived.

Speaker 4 Andrew Wiggins, possible NBA Finals MVP.

Speaker 1 The Maple Jordan. We can now bring that nickname back.

Speaker 4 I never knew that was a nickname. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 When he was coming out, it was the Maple Jordan. Because he's from Canadian.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's right.

Speaker 4 It was him and the guy that got drafted ahead of him for the Cavaliers were the first two Canadians to ever go number one overall, Anthony Bennett. And they went back to back to the Canadian.

Speaker 1 He was bad. He was bad.
Anthony Bennett.

Speaker 4 What's he up to? I don't think Paul. He's probably playing in like Turkey somewhere.

Speaker 5 Yeah. I would imagine.

Speaker 1 That would actually be okay.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 4 That would be like a decent come up for Anthony Bennett.

Speaker 1 But yes, Andrew Wiggins, game five.

Speaker 1 The Golden State Warriors now have a 3-2 commanding lead.

Speaker 1 Is it commanding? Well, it's commanding right now.

Speaker 4 Take command.

Speaker 8 I don't think it's command. I won his future.

Speaker 9 I'm happy for you.

Speaker 1 Oh, here we go. What future? Here we go.
On the Warriors. Yeah, here we go.
The reverse is coming.

Speaker 4 So, Hank, would you say that it's a commanding lead right now, or would you say it's a lead that was meant to be overcome?

Speaker 8 It's a lead that's meant to be overcome. It's a one-game lead.
They win one game. It's a one-game series.

Speaker 4 It's a three-game series right now.

Speaker 1 And the Celtics. Can I ask you a question, Hank, about that tweet, by the way, last night? When you're like, the Celtics just need to win three games in a row?

Speaker 1 Read the tweet. Oh, no, I get that one.

Speaker 4 Hank, what did you say? He said the Celtics have to win three game sevens in a row. He's talking about in the playoffs.

Speaker 1 Ah, they've won three game sevens. Got it.
I thought you meant three game sevens.

Speaker 8 No, similar to the, you know, the championship DVD, like the story of the Celtics winning three game sevens in a row.

Speaker 1 You would be Mr. Game Seven.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 8 It's going to be the greatest story in NBA history.

Speaker 1 Has that ever been done before? I doubt it.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 how are you feeling overall, Hank? I mean, we'll talk about the game. We'll break down the game, but how are you feeling?

Speaker 1 Let's just get a status check on our boy Hank and what's going on in your head.

Speaker 8 Yeah, I mean, I went through a lot of emotions last night. I definitely didn't sleep too well.
I couldn't fall asleep.

Speaker 1 Happy birthday.

Speaker 8 I was going through everything. Yeah, it was a tough birthday present.

Speaker 8 I still think they're going to win the series. I do think that the last 10 minutes of game four and five, there was just some infuriating plays.
There was some terrible, terrible basketball.

Speaker 8 They could have easily won both games, but they didn't. But I do think that it's very relatable of the Celtics to just put everything off till the end.
Yeah.

Speaker 8 Like, they should have won Milwaukee in less than seven. They should have won Miami less than seven.

Speaker 8 They should have won this series in less than seven, but they're just putting it off. They're procrastinating.
And then when their backs are against the wall, that's when they perform the best.

Speaker 8 And the Marcus Smart thing, it's like he

Speaker 8 did get fouled.

Speaker 1 What's the Marcus Smart thing?

Speaker 8 Clay Thompson pushed off on Marcus Smart.

Speaker 8 No call, so you couldn't even challenge it. Clay Thompson then hit a three.
Then about one minute later,

Speaker 8 who was it?

Speaker 1 Poole? Maybe.

Speaker 8 It was either Poole or someone else.

Speaker 1 Oh, Gary Payton Jr. I think it was the second, yeah.

Speaker 1 He basically pulled Marcus Smart's arm in.

Speaker 8 It is a move that Marcus Smart has done, I'm not going to lie, but he then flopped, and they called the foul on Marcus Smart.

Speaker 8 So it just blew my mind that, like, basically, and people were saying Marcus Smart flopped on the Clay Thompson play, which if you look, you know, letter of the law, he he didn't.

Speaker 8 Like, Clay Thompson did extend his arm, and Marcus Mart fell down. He's the defensive player in the year.
He should get a little bit of liberty with that call, but they didn't call the flop there.

Speaker 8 Then, one second later, they called the foul on a flop.

Speaker 1 Question. Yes.
Before we go any further, are you blaming the refs?

Speaker 1 No, I'm just saying that. All right, no, I'm making sure.

Speaker 1 What sucks about this is

Speaker 1 asking.

Speaker 1 That was a momentum swing.

Speaker 1 That was a momentum swing.

Speaker 8 I'm not blaming the refs.

Speaker 4 You can't use your blame the ref game on a game that's a double-digit victory.

Speaker 8 I'm not blaming the refs. I'm just saying

Speaker 8 that was the momentum swinger. Also, the three at the end of the third quarter.
I'll go through this. This is from

Speaker 8 Tucker Boynton on Twitter. Great follow for stats, Celtic stuff.

Speaker 1 Used to work at Barsdale.

Speaker 8 Used to work at Barcelona. He's an intern, yeah.

Speaker 8 41 seconds left with the third quarter. Celtics were up 74, 72.

Speaker 1 Wait, before you do this, just to be clear, you're not blaming the refs.

Speaker 1 I'm, yeah. What about?

Speaker 8 If you let me finish, you would hear that that's not.

Speaker 4 What about how EMA got a technical foul, and then Marcus Smart got a technical foul, right?

Speaker 9 And no one even showed that the foul was fouled.

Speaker 4 And then Draymond Green did not get a technical foul, which basically invaded the Celtics bench.

Speaker 8 And then all of the Warrior players also were on the Celtic side of the court.

Speaker 1 But Jason Tatum also took the ball to the huddle, which you're not allowed to do. Never take the ball to the huddle.
You never take another man's ball.

Speaker 1 Because if you actually watch that again, I mean, it was ridiculous that Draymond Green was taking away. How was Draymond getting the ball back?

Speaker 1 Well, he was in the middle of their huddle, but it also was very funny that Jason Tatum refused to give up the ball. Both of them were acting so funny.

Speaker 4 Both of them were in the wrong.

Speaker 1 Because Jason Tatum, the timeout had been called, and Jason Tatum was walking with the ball back to the bench on the baseline.

Speaker 1 And Draymond Green was basically like, I'm going to keep playing defense until you give up the ball.

Speaker 4 What about the Gary Payton trip where he tripped himself and that was a foul, too?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Grant Williams lightly touched him on the back line.
I mean, that's what happens.

Speaker 9 Listen, I'm not sure.

Speaker 1 And again, not blaming the refs.

Speaker 8 I'm actually not. Right.

Speaker 1 Can I finish or no? Yes. 41 seconds left halfway.
Hank on the floor.

Speaker 8 Ready now. Boston leads 74-72.
Celtics offensive in possessions.

Speaker 8 This has nothing to do with fouls, refs, none of those plays, but that was when all this happened.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 8 Quarter three, 41 seconds left. Obviously, they hit the three to go up one into the fourth quarter.

Speaker 4 We should do a segment every podcast where Hank just reads things very fast.

Speaker 8 Celtics missed a three. They missed a layup.
They missed a three. They missed a three.
They missed a layup. Travel, offensive foul, missed three.

Speaker 1 But then they were

Speaker 8 22 seconds left.

Speaker 8 Boston Trail 74-85.

Speaker 1 Did you just fucking listen to me? No, that's Boston.

Speaker 1 Listen.

Speaker 8 They didn't execute. Right.
Missed three, missed layup, missed three, missed three, missed layup, travel, offensive foul, missed three. Okay.

Speaker 8 No referees. The Celtics didn't execute, and then they were down 11, and then the game was pretty much over.

Speaker 1 Okay, so I have a couple thoughts on this game.

Speaker 1 The first one is a big picture thought that this series has kind of confused me a little bit because, like I've been saying, I think the Celtics are the better team, but Steph Curry's the best player.

Speaker 1 And then Friday or Monday night happens, and he plays terribly, and Andrew Wiggins plays great. Draymond played well.
I mean, Clay is kind of back to Clay in a way. He was 5 for 11 from 3.

Speaker 1 Is there a chance that neither of these teams are that great?

Speaker 8 No. Okay.
The NBA Finals.

Speaker 1 But that doesn't, I mean, some years,

Speaker 1 that's kind of where I'm coming from. Like, both of these teams

Speaker 1 in terms of the Celtics cannot execute in a fourth quarter. They just can't.
Like,

Speaker 1 when a game's tight, they've had a lot of trouble scoring points in a fourth quarter in crunch time, whereas the Warriors are able to, you know, whether you want to say it's veteran presence, the fact they've been there, they just don't panic and they're able to figure out a way to, you know, in some of these big moments,

Speaker 1 get points the dirty way, whatever you want to say.

Speaker 8 Yeah, I mean, they're the greatest basketball dynasty of the last 10 years.

Speaker 1 I also think this is not even close to the best Warriors team we've seen. And it's like, I keep thinking.
that one team's going to assert themselves one way or the other.

Speaker 1 And it's like, both these teams are very good. I'm saying neither of these teams are like

Speaker 1 great and kind of taking it.

Speaker 4 If you look at the Celtics passion to get here, though, like the Celtics beat the Heat.

Speaker 9 They're a great team.

Speaker 1 The Nets?

Speaker 4 They beat the defending champion Bucs. And they beat who many people were saying was going to cakewalk their way through the NBA Finals, the Brooklyn Nets.

Speaker 4 So I feel like the Celtics are a good team.

Speaker 1 No, they're both very good teams. This might be just a stupid, you know, sports argument that I can't fully explain.

Speaker 1 But what I'm basically saying is like neither team has had put together the full four quarters of great basketball and went and take taken a game.

Speaker 1 Monday night was like a muck-it-up kind of game where the Warriors looked like they were going to kill them, then the Celtics came back and hit all those threes in the third quarter, and the Warriors execute

Speaker 1 down the stretch, and the Celtics don't. And it's like, I don't know.
They're both very, very good teams.

Speaker 8 I think your point is maybe more to the fact that they're both really, really good defensive teams.

Speaker 1 So there's a lot of sloppy play

Speaker 8 that looks like it's sloppy, but it's like they're just really going as hard as they can on defense.

Speaker 1 That could absolutely be the truth because I think the Warriors played great defense. They attempt to overcome that.
Yeah, the Warriors played great defense on Monday night.

Speaker 1 And there's also an alternate reality where you can look at it and be like, the Celtics just squandered an insane chance because you had Steph Curry for the first time since 2000, November 2018, not hit a three in a game.

Speaker 1 First time ever in the playoffs, he didn't hit a three.

Speaker 1 They went nine for 40 from three.

Speaker 1 The Celtics missed 10 free throws and had 18 turnovers.

Speaker 1 That seems like a self-inflicted. That's kind of what I'm talking about, where it's like a great team doesn't have those self-inflicted wounds constantly.

Speaker 4 Well, you didn't take advantage of the Curry's off-game.

Speaker 1 That's a problem.

Speaker 4 So, like, you were probably only going to get one of these in the finals.

Speaker 4 And it's funny because if you look at the history of Steph Curry and of his, you know, like, obviously, he's a great three-point shooter, probably the best of all time.

Speaker 4 He has, I think, the top three longest streaks in NBA history

Speaker 4 of games, consecutive games, making a three-pointer. So it's like him one through three, I believe, and then it's Kyle Corver at number four.

Speaker 4 So Steph Curry's, and think about it, because in order to have the top three longest streaks, Steph Curry's career has basically been just like making a three every single game with like three instances where he hasn't.

Speaker 4 Right. Over the course of like how long he's been in the league.
Right. So it's crazy that like in the one game where he doesn't make any threes, he has an off night by any stretch of the imagination.

Speaker 4 Like that, that should have been the game that you steal one on the road.

Speaker 9 Right.

Speaker 4 And it's also going to give red meat to Skip because Skip's already reading his argument that he's going to make down the line because, like, you know, Steph Curry, if he wins his finals MVP, if the Warriors get another championship, then all of a sudden, now we're talking about Steph Curry in the top three, or some people will be.

Speaker 4 And then Skip's going to always be like, remember this game, though? This game, he didn't show up in the finals.

Speaker 1 Which Steph still, even on his games when he looked off and he had like no touch, he looked uncomfortable shooting threes, which is like extremely rare for him.

Speaker 1 He still impacts the game so many ways because you have to have everyone on him and the lane opens up and he was able to drive a little bit and score.

Speaker 1 My bigger point, Hank, I was thinking about more, right?

Speaker 1 Every championship team is not equal. Like we always talk about teams like this team was one of the greatest championship teams.

Speaker 1 I think this year, whoever wins this, I'm not going to walk away and be like, that team was one of the best championship teams I've ever seen. Do you know what I mean? No.

Speaker 1 I think the Warriors, the Warriors.

Speaker 8 The The Celtics win. I do.

Speaker 1 No, I do love this. The Celtics are winning.
They're the greatest NBA team.

Speaker 1 Or the Warriors cement themselves as the greatest NBA dynasty of all time.

Speaker 1 But it's by far the least talented of the Warriors dynasty teams. Like, not even close.

Speaker 4 Hank, who would you say if you took the mid-90s Bulls and these Warriors?

Speaker 1 Oh, Warriors. Steph Curry would cook them.

Speaker 4 That's a conversation that we're going to be having.

Speaker 1 I don't know which one was better. But that's why I watch a game.
Like, I've watched this series and been like, I feel like both teams are very, very good, but neither team has been able to be like,

Speaker 1 we're great. Here's our great moment.
Like, we're even on Monday night, the Celtics coming out in the third quarter and, like, stunning the Warriors. And you might be right.

Speaker 1 It might just be they're both very good defensively because that is absolutely true. I just, I don't know.

Speaker 8 I feel like you're trying to discount two teams in the NBA.

Speaker 1 I'm not. I do like that.
Banners fly forever.

Speaker 4 I love the move of putting a pre-asterix on it. It's just in case Hank wins.

Speaker 1 No, that's not what I'm trying to do.

Speaker 8 I think that what you're saying applies when you are playing in Orlando in front of no fans.

Speaker 8 Like, that's different.

Speaker 1 That's a different.

Speaker 8 Like, I don't know if your team should be counted the same way as other NBA championship teams.

Speaker 4 It's not even really a basketball team.

Speaker 8 But if you win, you beat KD and Kyrie, you win a game seven, you win a game seven on the road, and then you beat the Warriors, or either way, either way, it's two great teams.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 8 And I also think, I mean, a few things. I do think it's KD is probably, KD and LeBron have the biggest,

Speaker 8 biggest, like, to lose, the most to lose if the Warriors win.

Speaker 1 Well, what about the team that loses?

Speaker 4 No, no, no, no. Hank's right.
Go off.

Speaker 1 Again, I mean, how old is that? No, LeBron. Jason Tatum's 14 years old.
All right.

Speaker 8 Jason Tatum's young. Jalen Brown is young.
Yes,

Speaker 8 if they do lose, they squandered an opportunity to win an NBA championship, but they still made it to the finals. They still have a great young core.

Speaker 8 And again, the Warriors are probably the best dynasty,

Speaker 1 the greatest basketball team possibly ever. How does this negatively improve the last 10 years?

Speaker 5 I want to know.

Speaker 4 I want to know because I want to agree with you. How does this negatively impact LeBron James's legacy?

Speaker 8 Because

Speaker 8 people say that the only reason the Warriors beat LeBron was because they had KD.

Speaker 1 Okay, but I'm still going to argue whoever loses the series lost the most.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 8 Look how good Andrew Wiggins played last night in Kevin Durant's role.

Speaker 4 I agree with the KD take because I think if you know like was that was Kevin Durant as good as people say or was it Steph Kurry?

Speaker 4 The Warriors win this title without Kevin Durant, and they've got Andrew Wiggins playing the role of Kevin Durant really well. And also, almost as good as Kevin Durant.

Speaker 4 If you've noticed, Kevin Durant has been extremely active on social media recently, like responding to all the haters that are talking about his game. Kevin Durant is thinking about this right now.

Speaker 1 But that goes more to my point that the 2017 Warriors were one of the greatest teams of all time.

Speaker 1 That's not going to be said for this Warriors. That's my point.
Nobody

Speaker 1 was one of the greatest NBA teams champions of all time. Well, yeah.

Speaker 1 That's my point. That's kind of what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 I don't think you're going to say that about this Warriors team if they win the title. Yeah, but it's going to be a dynasty not taking anything away from them.

Speaker 1 But you ask any Warriors fan which team was better, it's the 2017 Warriors.

Speaker 8 It's tricky because I think that this Celtics team versus the 2017 Warriors would put up a bigger fight.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 Okay, go on.

Speaker 8 Like the 2017 Warriors.

Speaker 1 Okay, I disagree on that. They didn't even.
I think the 2017 2017 Warriors would beat either. They would beat these Warriors soundly and these Celtics soundly.

Speaker 8 Disagree.

Speaker 1 Okay. All right.
What about the Bulls, though?

Speaker 4 2017 Warriors against Celtic. Who does Steve Kerr play for in that instance?

Speaker 1 The Bulls.

Speaker 1 No, he does both.

Speaker 1 If you do 2017 Warriors versus these Warriors, Steph's on both teams.

Speaker 8 Any team from the 90s that had to deal with the fucking pick and rolls and like the movement that the Warriors do, they would die.

Speaker 1 They would die.

Speaker 8 Okay. It's insane.

Speaker 1 The amount of.

Speaker 4 They would be killed on on the court.

Speaker 8 Yeah, they were death by picks.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, like NBA players didn't run.

Speaker 4 They didn't do cardio in the 90s.

Speaker 8 No, but like, it's, I mean, you're, you're joking, but, like, the amount of screens and just constant movement they have is insane.

Speaker 4 They still ran pick and roll offenses back in the 1990s.

Speaker 4 I don't know if you understand how recent the 1990s were, but it wasn't the Stone Age. They still had the forward pass in football.

Speaker 1 The 2017 Warriors lost one playoff game.

Speaker 1 Okay. I'm I'm just saying,

Speaker 1 like, that's where I was.

Speaker 9 They're looking like the greatest team of all time, then.

Speaker 1 I just said that. That's why I'm saying the Kevin Durant thing.
Like, I think Kevin Durant, people will obviously rag him because

Speaker 1 they will say, Andrew Wiggins, you put him in, and he's fine. But I still would be like, but that's not, that doesn't make sense to me because the 2017 Warriors were all-time, all-time great.

Speaker 1 What about these Warriors?

Speaker 8 What about these Warriors or these Celtics versus last year's Bucs?

Speaker 1 I think the Bucs would probably win.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah.
Yeah, I agree with that. I mean, that's kind of what I'm getting at.
And I guess it may, it might not make it.

Speaker 8 And very trivial argument that really does. You know what?

Speaker 4 No, I don't think so. I don't think that I think that these Bucs would have lost.
Those Bucs would have lost to these Warriors.

Speaker 1 Okay, well, all right. Either way, it might be a stupid argument.

Speaker 1 It was just a thought I had because I was thinking about this series and how I keep like, in my head, can't make sense of game to game.

Speaker 1 And it just feels, everything just feels weird because you'll have like, it's almost like each quarter is its own separate game and like one team just goes crazy in a quarter and boom, there's the game.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I just, I've been trying to rationalize this series and that's the take I came up with.
It may be stupid. It could be like completely asinine and

Speaker 1 that's fine. I think

Speaker 4 here's the thing.

Speaker 4 If the Celtics had made 80% of their free throws last night, it's a completely different game. It can be.
That could be a blame the refs game if they had capitalized on their free throws.

Speaker 8 Or had nine turnovers instead of 18.

Speaker 1 And that's and that's been kind of their MO this year year where they're Jekyll and Hyde with some of these things where it's like fourth quarter comes around. It's like, what are they doing?

Speaker 1 Why can't they generate offense? Jason Tatum did a nice Kobe tribute with the air balls. Like,

Speaker 1 those things happen. It all did.
Did he text Kobe? No, but remember when Kobe airballed in his first playoff series? Or maybe it was his first year in the playoffs.

Speaker 4 Tatum needs to call God. He needs to get on the phone with Kobe before the next game.

Speaker 1 Also, Tatumba. And Jalen Brown's ball handles were.

Speaker 8 Tatum didn't play bad. Jalen Brown played horrible.

Speaker 1 He can't dribble the ball. Tatum is not to blame.

Speaker 8 He's got the dribble yips. Yes.

Speaker 1 Tatum is not to blame for Monday night, I don't think.

Speaker 8 The one thing, I mean, I think you guys can relate to this. I know you guys are procrastinators, future me.

Speaker 4 It's like professional procrastinators.

Speaker 8 Right.

Speaker 8 The Celtics, again, like Big Hat has been jinxing on this entire series. They are the better team.

Speaker 8 And if they had hit their free throws and didn't have turnovers, they probably would have won that game handily.

Speaker 8 And sometimes it takes that last minute, like you put off, like you're like, I could easily write this paper.

Speaker 8 And then you wait until an hour later, and it still comes out fine, but you're rushing and you're a last minute, and you're copy, you got to do the spark notes.

Speaker 4 That's right, that's what, so they can't do the spark notes when you're on the wood.

Speaker 8 They just, they're not leaving themselves any room for error, but if they don't make any errors, they can still win the series. So that's how I feel about the series.

Speaker 1 I still win the series, they absolutely can still win the series. I would not sit like because it is truly a game six in Boston.

Speaker 1 I would think that they would win that game, and then game seven, all bets are off.

Speaker 4 Yeah, talking to Hank earlier this week, it seemed like you were more nervous about the possibility of going to a clinching game in Boston where, like, they had the opportunity.

Speaker 4 You seemed like very nervous about your presence there, whether or not that was going to work, because you built it up into, like, hey, they might get me on stage and ask me to make a speech.

Speaker 4 Like, we might be hanging out with them.

Speaker 1 I did build that up. Yeah, you built that up in your head.
Like, is it confetti?

Speaker 4 Is it almost like a relief to you knowing that you don't have to prepare a speech? You don't have to worry about looking your best on camera and being a part of the team for those pictures?

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 8 Because, again, if they lose the Warriors, they lost to one of the best teams of all time. And

Speaker 8 this run has been

Speaker 8 one of the most fun runs of my life. It's a great team.
Obviously, it would be a super, super disappointing end to the season, but like

Speaker 8 it's not, you know, they've been an unbelievable team to watch and root for. And like, just being there, you know, it would be sad, but at least you'd be able to pay your respects.

Speaker 8 Like, it's different than,

Speaker 1 I don't know. Can I ask you a question?

Speaker 8 Obviously, I'd rather them be up three times.

Speaker 1 Are you, is there any part of you that's exhausted watching this Celtics run? Because they are so checklist. Yeah, it's been like this all season.
Like,

Speaker 8 The first 50 games, it was infuriating where they were just blowing leads left and right, blowing leads left and right, and then they came together, were dominating, and then every game in the playoffs.

Speaker 8 Like, that's what I was saying. They gave away games to Milwaukee, they gave away games to the Heat, they've given away games to the Warriors.

Speaker 8 Like, they have made mistakes consistently, missed free throws consistently, consistently had turnovers.

Speaker 8 But they're still here, and they're still fighting, and they still have a chance to win. So it's like, it's I mean, it's exhausting in a good way.
It's like, that's the beauty of sports.

Speaker 4 So what do they have to do? What do they have to do in game six?

Speaker 4 Is there anything that they do, like any weird tradition before the game where they like have a local celebrity or somebody like an athlete from a different team come out and like get the crowd pumped up?

Speaker 8 No, they usually do, you know, like people, people that do charitable donations or someone that was in the service.

Speaker 4 You got to get Belichick in the building. That's really what you have to do.
There's one way out of this mess, and that's bring the goat in.

Speaker 1 Can I give you a tip, Hank? Yep. It's a make-or-miss league.

Speaker 1 You just got to make your shots.

Speaker 4 Live by the jump shot.

Speaker 8 The shots that are free.

Speaker 1 It is so funny because you could actually like, you could say that and it just always is right.

Speaker 1 Because when the, when the on Monday night, the Celtics played like shit in the first half, then they made all their shots in the third quarter. You're like, there it is.
Make or miss league.

Speaker 4 I think, I actually think you just have to want it more. Yeah.
I think the Warriors wanted it more.

Speaker 8 I also am concerned that

Speaker 1 Game 6 Clay will show up.

Speaker 8 That, combined with our good friend, recurring guest, Richard Jefferson,

Speaker 8 the Celtics might just be gassed. Yeah, Andrew Wiggins,

Speaker 8 they might get smoked.

Speaker 1 Andrew Wiggins, like what he has done in this series, like he, and it's more the last two games.

Speaker 1 I mean, I said it on Sunday show, like, he went to rebounding school. He's all over the place.
It's crazy how much energy he plays with. And I'll say this, Hank.

Speaker 1 The other key to the game is I don't know how many minutes you can play him, but Robert Williams is by far the best player on the Celtics this series. It's not even close.

Speaker 8 He was plus 11 last night. No other Boston starter was better than minus nine.

Speaker 1 In a 10-point loss.

Speaker 8 And he didn't even have bounce.

Speaker 1 And you can see it, too.

Speaker 1 When he's on the court, the difference, like the respect that the Warriors show him by not driving the lane and like attacking the rim versus when he's off the court and it's like, all right, free reign.

Speaker 1 They're afraid of it. We can just go and dunk on people.

Speaker 8 The plus 11 was like not a fluke. Like one of those where he comes in, he played 30 minutes.
Yeah, right.

Speaker 1 And then the other 12 minutes, they went down by what? And it actually 28.

Speaker 1 It's probably a little bit of a fluke the other way because the Celtics finished with a 7-0 run to make it look like a closer game than it was.

Speaker 1 Crazy series. I don't know.
I guess I've just been sitting and just.

Speaker 8 Who's the better team currently?

Speaker 1 Warriors. Warriors.
They're up three to two.

Speaker 4 Here's why.

Speaker 1 I think the... No,

Speaker 1 I'll give you an honest answer. I think the Celtics at their...

Speaker 8 Are you happy with what you've done? Are you happy with yourself?

Speaker 1 Why are you mad at me? I'm not. I'm just, I'm curious.
I've been giving my honest takeaway.

Speaker 1 Hank's totally not mad at me.

Speaker 4 Don't put it in the paper that I got mad at.

Speaker 1 I'm giving you my honest take. I think the Celtics still, if they play their best game, are

Speaker 1 better as a team than the Warriors. The problem is, if it's a close game late, the Warriors have so much more like, we can win this game late than the Celtics.

Speaker 1 I don't know what it, I mean, again, it could be just experience. They've been there.
They've played together as a team for so long.

Speaker 1 They know how to, you know, get possession, get extra possessions, deflections. Draymond was doing a great job in transition, making passes.

Speaker 1 Like something about a late game, like the Warriors are able to execute even when things aren't going their way versus the Celtics. It doesn't feel like they have that killer instinct quite yet.

Speaker 4 You know what it is? The Warriors are a more talented team. The Celtics...

Speaker 4 can be a better team than them. It's like, I'll put in terms Hank and the other New Englanders can understand.
It's like when the Patriots played against the greatest show on turf.

Speaker 4 That's kind of what's happening right now in the Super Bowl. Like, if the Celtics.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Rams. Yeah, no, no.

Speaker 1 You follow me?

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 all right.

Speaker 4 For a second, I was like, wait, did I make that up?

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 8 I know what you're talking about. I don't, the, the, the Patriots were like heavy underdogs in that.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying, though. It's like the...
The Celtics, when they're playing at their best as a team, are a better team.

Speaker 4 But on the other hand, the Warriors have a collection of really super talented players that are better than the Celtics players.

Speaker 1 I kind of see what he's saying.

Speaker 4 Hank's still.

Speaker 8 No, I don't understand what you're saying at all.

Speaker 8 The Patriots were underdogs that no one expected to win. The Celtics, obviously, people thought they were going to win the series.

Speaker 1 I mean, yeah, I mean, it was basically a coin flip going in.

Speaker 8 And again, that's not the case with the crazy show in terms of the currents.

Speaker 1 I would not be shocked if the Celtics win this series. That's why I'm not saying, I'm not sitting here being like, the Celtics are dead.

Speaker 1 The Warriors are like, that's part of this series that has me in a, in a mental pretzel because I've seen the Celtics play at their peak and think that they are better than pretty much everyone.

Speaker 1 And then I've seen the Warriors execute in fourth quarter situations where the Celtics have pissed down their legs.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, you better not have it be close because the Warriors will just figure out a way. That's kind of where I've landed.
And it's got to be a little scary, Hank, knowing that Steph, like,

Speaker 1 he most likely won't have a game like that again. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because that's, that was, he looked so off right from the start, too. He missed his first free throw.
He missed a layup, which like his touch was just off.

Speaker 1 And so I don't know if it was like, it was just truly like, I love that we always do the, is Steph injured whenever he has a bad game. I think he just was off.
Shooters have bad nights.

Speaker 1 And he still found a way to be productive.

Speaker 4 Also, the Rams were only seven-point favorites, so it's not like massive underdogs.

Speaker 1 We've just broken the record for

Speaker 1 like dumbest

Speaker 1 sports. So you're saying that

Speaker 1 on the first 20 minutes of the show? I like it. I like where we're at.
Tell me what this 2017.

Speaker 1 Now I'm

Speaker 1 Doug Hampton.

Speaker 1 Would the 2001 Patriots beat the 2022 Warriors?

Speaker 4 2001 Patriots?

Speaker 1 I'll tell you what.

Speaker 4 I think the 2017 Warriors would win. They'd be favored by double digits over the 2001 Patriots because Tom Brady wasn't Tom Brady yet.

Speaker 4 Just like Jason Tatum right now might not be Jason Tatum when we look back at his career 30 years from now. I think

Speaker 1 that makes no sense.

Speaker 4 I know that makes perfect sense.

Speaker 1 I think the 2017 Warriors could beat a super team of the 2001 Patriots and Rams.

Speaker 4 What about the Bulls?

Speaker 1 Listen,

Speaker 1 obviously, the game has changed. The Warriors in 2017 were insane.
Like, I feel like I'm taking crazy pills when I keep talking about the Warriors from that year.

Speaker 1 Like, do we remember how good they were?

Speaker 1 That's why the KD thing, when everyone says, oh, Andrew Wiggins is doing what KD does, it's like, sort of, but the Warriors have had moments where they've struggled.

Speaker 1 They were down like 50 to the Grizzlies. Like, they've had, it hasn't been easy for them throughout these playups.
The 2014 17 Warriors, it was easy for them.

Speaker 4 Also, the Rams were 14-point favorites. I messed that up.

Speaker 10 So there we go.

Speaker 1 First half line. First half line.

Speaker 4 I was talking about the first half. In the first half, these Celtics can hang with anybody, including Secretary.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Billy, put a bow on this entire, maybe the dumbest back and forth we've ever had as a show, which I actually thought was very entertaining because we've introduced new debates that have never been.

Speaker 1 Who else right now?

Speaker 8 Can I quickly clarify why you said Rams?

Speaker 1 But who else in the sports? I thought you didn't know what he was talking about.

Speaker 1 Who else in the sports world is doing a comparison of the 2017 Warriors to the 2001 Rams?

Speaker 1 No one right now.

Speaker 10 I wanted to add 2017 Warriors versus 2007 Patriots.

Speaker 1 Ooh.

Speaker 8 No, that would be 2018 Warriors or 2016 Warriors.

Speaker 4 2016 Warriors. That's like straight up.

Speaker 1 73 and 3. You know what?

Speaker 4 I think we drew inspiration from Chris Weber doing the West Welker channel. Yeah, no, I think that's exactly what happened.
Yeah, and so we've been, yeah, we've been Weberized.

Speaker 1 By the way, they both wore 83 on the football field. Oh, shit.

Speaker 1 Draymond played tight end in a spring practice. I think he was on the roster for a year, too, and they both wore 83.
So that's pretty much all it is.

Speaker 1 Okay. Are we good? How do you think? Give us your prediction.

Speaker 4 Hank's just mad.

Speaker 8 No, no, I'm actually trying to. I'm actually.

Speaker 1 Hank was determined to be able to get a lot of money. No, I'm giving some thoughts.

Speaker 8 I'm actually giving some thought into whether or not the

Speaker 8 Patriots' undefeated season loss was worse than the Warriors' 73-9 season loss.

Speaker 8 I actually don't know.

Speaker 8 I think the Patriots is probably worse.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you think so, but the Warriors, they have the three-to-one thing.

Speaker 1 True.

Speaker 4 And the Patriots were never up huge in that Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 And that Warriors team would be... I mean, it would be hard to argue.
Again, it's hard to be like 90s versus 2.0 because the game has changed so much.

Speaker 1 I still think that if you put Michael Jordan on a court, he's going to win no matter what. But that team would have been 73 and 9 and won a title, and it would have been hard to argue against them.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 8 I'm going to say

Speaker 8 Celtics and 7

Speaker 1 or

Speaker 8 they get boat raced.

Speaker 1 So I do. I actually completely agree with you.

Speaker 8 I think there is a percentage chance that they are gassed gassed and there's nothing left in the tank. And the reason they're not executing down the stretch is because they just don't have

Speaker 8 the stamina or

Speaker 8 the wherewithal to push through. And obviously, they have two more games left.

Speaker 1 And if you get a nuclear clay or Steph early in game six, it could really take the air out of the building. I could see that.
Yeah. Okay, so you're saying either Celtics win or they lose.

Speaker 8 I'm saying Celtics in seven.

Speaker 1 So in those seven, it's either

Speaker 1 Celtics in seven

Speaker 4 or it's the Warriors in six.

Speaker 1 I think it's Warriors in six or seven or Celtics in seven.

Speaker 4 I think it's probably Warriors. If the Warriors lose in the next game, I'm putting it 50-50.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I like that. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Anyone's game seven. Actually, you know what?

Speaker 1 I'm going to go maybe more like minus 150 Warriors.

Speaker 4 That sounds

Speaker 1 because it is going to be at home.

Speaker 4 You think Steph Curry playing in front of his parents while they were both in the stands with their boyfriends and girlfriends had something to do with his off night?

Speaker 1 I don't know. Maybe, maybe, Billy.
Now, truly,

Speaker 4 who gets the game ball, Billy?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Of this debate.
You can also give it to Del Curry. Okay.

Speaker 10 Why did the 2012 Heat ever get mentioned?

Speaker 1 The 2012 Heat?

Speaker 1 That was the team that lost to the Thunder. No, no, no.
No, no, that was the team that beat the

Speaker 1 Matt. No.
No, they beat the Thunder. They beat the Thunder.
They lost the Maps the year before.

Speaker 4 They lost the Spurs and lost to the Spurs.

Speaker 1 That was a very good team.

Speaker 8 They lost to the Mavs, and then the NBA was like, LeBron needs to win a championship.

Speaker 1 No, that was a very good team. That was the team, I think that won like 25 or 30 in a row in the regular season.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I can't remember the exact number.

Speaker 8 And I think, like, KG got hurt, so it wasn't even like a real, they didn't really win the East.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's actually a great question.

Speaker 4 Was that the worst finals ever?

Speaker 8 Who'd they beat? The Spurs?

Speaker 1 Yeah, they beat the Thunder. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 8 I mean, that's basically actually, honestly, and it's scary to say because the Thunder never made it back, but it's pretty similar to what's going on now.

Speaker 1 With the world in general?

Speaker 8 A great team of of superstars playing versus a super young group of up-and-comers.

Speaker 4 Oh, kind of like the Rams and the Patriots in the Super Bowl. Thank you, Hank.

Speaker 1 No, but up-and-coming superstars.

Speaker 1 Superstars. Who are the name of all the superstars on the Warriors right now?

Speaker 8 Steph Curry, Andrew Wiggins.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I would say most people wouldn't say Andrew Wiggins is a superstar.

Speaker 8 He's been the second.

Speaker 1 He has played like a superstar in this series.

Speaker 4 It's the birth of a star. A star is born.

Speaker 8 He's the number one draft pick.

Speaker 1 Okay, you're right. You actually, you got me there because I always agree with that.
So you did checkmate me.

Speaker 1 Because the number one, Anthony Bennett, to put a total bow on it, Anthony Bennett probably would be the best player in this series if he was out there.

Speaker 11 By the way, he's in the P League.

Speaker 1 Oh, Taiwan. Oh, okay.
The P League.

Speaker 1 That's very funny.

Speaker 4 That was probably the last letter that they had. Like, all the other letters had been taken for other developmental leagues.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 11 The motto of the league is something interesting, really interesting.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 I like the pee league.

Speaker 1 That's like Taiwanese Jake instead of wild.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Something interesting.
Oh, really interesting. Hey, it's PFT here, reminding you that Boarshead makes game day entertaining elevated and effortless.

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Speaker 4 My favorites like oven gold turkey or blazing buffalo-style chicken paired with their classic Vermont cheddar or creamy Munster cheese are sure to score big and help me elevate my entertainment every time, whether it's for a tailgate or a home gating celebration.

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Speaker 1 Hank, hot seat, cool throne.

Speaker 8 I would quickly, really quickly.

Speaker 1 We're going to go back to this four words or less.

Speaker 8 Official prediction.

Speaker 1 I said mine.

Speaker 1 I said warriors in six or seven or seven. No, I said four words.
No, four words or less.

Speaker 4 Okay, Celts or maybe Warriors.

Speaker 1 You're the worst. Dubs or

Speaker 1 Celts.

Speaker 8 Scared. Scared to make a take.

Speaker 8 Never thought I'd see the day.

Speaker 1 Okay. All right, fine.
Fuck it.

Speaker 4 Celtics. Hanks, Celtics, it's a three-game series.

Speaker 1 I'll stick with what I said to start the series. I think Warriors in seven.

Speaker 4 I think Celtics in seven. That's what I said to start, too.

Speaker 1 All right. What's your prediction?

Speaker 9 Celtics is in six.

Speaker 1 They win by so many points on aggregate.

Speaker 1 So you're over here debating. Do you think Celtics and Sigs is this prediction? Yeah, wait, you have to predict that they did it on the bottom.

Speaker 8 Like I said, I couldn't sleep. I was up in bed.

Speaker 8 Dante posted a blog about aliens in Chicago, and I legitimately had the thought of what happens if an alien attack happens and they have to stop the finals.

Speaker 8 Like would the Warriors try and claim a title up 3-2? We don't have to keep going.

Speaker 1 But I was...

Speaker 8 I was running through the motions.

Speaker 1 I was like, maybe, literally, maybe an alien invasion will happen and they'll stop the series i swear to god we're not high but this has been one of my like the funnest part of my dates ever that would be

Speaker 1 the bouncing off the walls we've done on all these days it'd be an all-time woge bomb when he tweeted out like the game tonight has been postponed parentheses aliens oh my and wendy not and we can't we can't get into wendy later oh wendy would be the first one did you see what he said last night wendy would get hauled onto the ufo and they'd they'd be cutting his spleen his hair look five minutes wendy had an all-time we we don't have to get into this show has just been everyone throwing a take at the wall and seeing

Speaker 1 monsters

Speaker 8 his take was basically not only do you have to beat the warriors on the court you have to beat them because they pay so much money to their players oh yeah they are they are like they have spent a lot of money

Speaker 4 yeah yeah isn't that but like isn't that what salaries are right

Speaker 8 i'm right like i was like i was like thinking about i was like joking around like yeah he's making some good points but it's also such a ridiculous take that you can't even

Speaker 1 yeah like they're kind of cheating yeah by paying their players that's bull i mean knowing some of the owners in the end and they have like jerry rheines or definitely be like that's cheating they have a 340 million dollar payroll you just don't you don't have to beat the warriors in the court you got to beat their checkbook this was a checkbook win for the warriors oh shit asterisks he's probably his probably argument is like they're not all owners are created equal and some of these guys are ins like the the warriors owners are insanely insanely they're not even balmer balmer like could if next year they win Winhorse's brain will explode if the Clippers win.

Speaker 4 Here's the real question, not to go back to the 2017 Warriors, but

Speaker 4 could the 2017 Warriors win an NBA championship if they had to start Chris Paul in every game?

Speaker 1 No, because everyone would hate each other by the end of the series.

Speaker 1 Hey, what's your hot seat?

Speaker 8 My hot seat is Kim Kardashian.

Speaker 8 Did you guys see this? I mean, she should be in jail.

Speaker 4 What happened? So she

Speaker 8 took a Marilyn Monroe dress from a museum and got it retailored for like the Met Gal or some shit.

Speaker 5 What?

Speaker 8 And destroyed it.

Speaker 4 How did it get destroyed?

Speaker 1 I don't even really know.

Speaker 8 They posted before and after pictures, and I've never seen people more upset. I was like trying to figure out what they even did.

Speaker 8 I'll send you the pictures.

Speaker 8 I don't know what they did. I think they just retailored it, but people, I've never seen people more upset, basically saying they destroyed history.

Speaker 8 And like, there's not, I don't know why people care so much about Marilyn Monroe anyway. I think I might have said Marilyn Manson in the beginning, but.

Speaker 1 Well, she was like the universally the hottest. Goals.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And back in the day when there was only one true hottest. Right.

Speaker 8 But people are really mad being like, oh, there's not even that much. Like, this should have been in a museum.
And people are like, it wasn't a museum.

Speaker 8 Like, Kim Kardashian, like, took it, took it out of the middle.

Speaker 4 I remember when the Met Galley happened, there was one person whose job, and like this blew my mind.

Speaker 4 There was a person getting mad on Twitter because their job was to be a caretaker of historical dresses in museums. Not even of this dress, but that's like their job at a different museum.

Speaker 4 And they saw that Kim Kardashian was wearing this dress and they flipped out because they're like, do you know all the care that goes into it? And I saw that.

Speaker 4 I was like, this is the most Twitter thing ever having like one person get super upset about their niche job. And then it turns out that person was like 100% correct, I guess.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 4 Because Kim Kardashian's ass destroyed Marilyn Monroe's iconic dress.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 I'm down with this move just because it's a very funny, like, evil villain. Like, you know, everyone talks about Bezos and

Speaker 1 Elon Musk and like robots and stuff. And like the true evil billionaire is Kim Kardashian's ass just breaking dresses.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I mean what's the point of being a billionaire if you can't take historical artifacts and break them with your ass?

Speaker 1 Yeah, facts. Facts.

Speaker 1 Agreed.

Speaker 8 My cool throne is I have a couple of Lil Caesars.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 8 They are the new official sponsor of the NFL. Hell yeah.
People are roasting them online. Why? With that announcement? Because Lil Caesars is trash.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 4 It is trash. That's elitist of you.

Speaker 4 You and Jake should go out to dinners together because

Speaker 8 I love Pizza Hut, by the way. Pizza Hut

Speaker 1 is very good.

Speaker 8 Fantastic pizza. Was my birthday dinner every year as a kid? Pizza Hut Buffet.
What can I get for birthday dinner? You can have anything. I want Pizza Hut.
Great fucking food. People forget.

Speaker 1 So I'm not an elitist.

Speaker 4 People forget.

Speaker 8 Little Caesars is just trash. It's like not pizza.

Speaker 4 Little Caesars hot and ready pizza for $5.

Speaker 4 Like you are, you're forgetting where you came from. If you never were broke and had to eat Little Caesars Hot and Readies five nights a week, it's actually

Speaker 5 pizza pizza.

Speaker 8 Yeah. You had Little Caesars five nights a week? yeah

Speaker 1 that's a lot

Speaker 4 yeah no i i literally used to go to little caesars every single day for my dinner i would have little caesars five nights a week because it was affordable and it's pizza and it's fucking melted cheese on bread with tomato sauce i can choke that down five nights a week no problem my move was just to buy a bag of fro 20 pounds of frozen chicken from sam's club and just eat that every night.

Speaker 1 That's that's also

Speaker 1 like 20 pounds for like 1999. It was not good chicken.

Speaker 4 That's way healthier than eating Little Caesars five nights a week. I'm actually shocked, though, that Little Caesars was able to afford to become the official sponsor of the end.

Speaker 1 Yeah, good for them.

Speaker 4 Seemed like that would be a little outside their cap range. Yeah.

Speaker 10 They outpizzed the hut.

Speaker 1 Yeah. They did, Billy Cuts.
True. They did.

Speaker 8 And then my other cool throw-in was just Meek Mill.

Speaker 8 I talked about it when they did the flip underneath the Sixers thing and just how hilarious of a character he is. But he posted a workout video.
I just sent it to the group where he is

Speaker 8 shoulder pressing pressing a barbell with one hand. And it's like, Philly, please break it down.
Break it down as a fitness guy for the listeners.

Speaker 10 He's got what looks like actually to be a light bar, not a 45-pound bar. And he has, looks like maybe five or 10-pound bumpers.

Speaker 4 I think they're five pounds, yeah.

Speaker 10 And he's just going

Speaker 1 one arm.

Speaker 1 I saw someone tweet it and be like, how is it that Meek Mill does everything incorrectly? Yeah, it's just a hilarious, hilarious video.

Speaker 8 A hilarious, hilarious dude. So shout out to Meek Mill.

Speaker 1 Okay. Shout out to Meek Mill.

Speaker 6 PFT, your hot seat, cool drop.

Speaker 4 My hot seat is Jake for missing this stat. I didn't see Jake put the stat out here.
It's wild.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, Vlad? Yeah.

Speaker 11 All right. I knew it, but I didn't say it.

Speaker 1 You kept it to yourself.

Speaker 4 So Vlad.

Speaker 1 Please don't sound like a lie or something.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you actually turned into Billy for a second there.

Speaker 4 Like, I already saw it. I was going to say it, but but I didn't.

Speaker 1 No, I didn't say I was going to say it.

Speaker 11 I just saw it.

Speaker 1 You kept it for yourself, which I'm telling you right now, do not keep any wild stats or stop going forward.

Speaker 4 So, Vladimir Guerrero Jr.

Speaker 4 has 87 home runs and an OBP 363 in his first 403 MLB career games. Any guesses what Vladimir Guerrero Sr.
had in his first 403 MLB games? The exact same. 87 home runs and a 363 OBP.

Speaker 1 Damn.

Speaker 8 Wait, there's another wild one that you missed as well.

Speaker 1 Whoa.

Speaker 1 Give it to us, Jake. Hold on.
You slipping on wild stats.

Speaker 1 This is super wild. All right.

Speaker 4 That was really the only one that I had for. I just thought that

Speaker 4 it was despicable that Jake missed it.

Speaker 8 Are you aware of the MLB's all-time home run leaders list?

Speaker 1 Go on.

Speaker 8 Number 122, Cecil Fielder, 319.

Speaker 1 Who? Cecil. Cecil.

Speaker 8 Tideford, number 122.

Speaker 1 RP the Lion. 319.
Oh, okay. That's wild.
Did you say that's wild? That is wild. That's wild.
That's wild. Confirmed wild.
Okay.

Speaker 1 That is a wild stat.

Speaker 4 And then my cool throne is chaos in the Washington football team or the Commanders, whatever they're calling themselves this week.

Speaker 4 It's been a wild week. And today, it was an all-time press conference moment.

Speaker 4 They were talking about Ron Rivera and the $100,000 fine that he levied against Jack Del Rio.

Speaker 4 And Pete Haley from NBC said, Ron Rivera has read the First Amendment, quote, over and over in light of Jack Del Rio's remarks remarks last week and has a copy of it on his desk, he says.

Speaker 4 Wants to make it clear he takes it very seriously. Ron Rivera has a copy.
I just want to repeat that.

Speaker 4 Ron Rivera has a copy of the First Amendment that he keeps on his desk that he reads over and over again all the time. And there's no other team that I think could get into this kind of controversy.

Speaker 1 First Amendment off.

Speaker 4 A First Amendment controversy before

Speaker 4 Minicamp even starts, besides the Washington Commanders.

Speaker 4 But I've realized going through all this that like I secretly love the chaos that goes along with rooting with this team can you imagine rooting for a stable franchise how fucking boring that must be either I yeah exactly that's what I'm saying like rooting for for these just like fight dumpster fires of organizations it provides a lot of content and a lot of a lot of uh I don't know, just like excitement in my life.

Speaker 4 I feel alive whenever I'm reading like a Washington Commanders headline because I don't know if it's going to be about our wide receiver holding out that we won't pay, or if it's going to be about like Dan Snyder getting called before Congress again.

Speaker 4 Actually, Dan Snyder probably has a copy of the Fifth Amendment on his desk, and Ron Rivera has the first. We've got 20% of the Bill of Rights covered.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you got it all there in the nation's capital.

Speaker 4 It's very appropriate.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right, my hot seats is Nike. I don't know if you guys saw this Twitter thread that was out there.
It was a few days ago, but a guy named Trung Fan, I think he's a business reporter,

Speaker 1 and he

Speaker 1 did a story about how Nike could have signed Steph Curry back in 2012, I believe.

Speaker 1 And they showed up to the meeting. They didn't bring an executive.
They brought like a middle manager guy. They mispronounced Steph's name wrong.
And then they did a presentation.

Speaker 1 And on the presentation, it was watermarked Kevin Durant. And that's why Steph ended up with Ender Armour.
Oh, wow. Yeah.
Like all-time bungling of a generational superstar.

Speaker 4 You You have to imagine that they probably would have won the championship in 2017 or 2016

Speaker 4 if they had, if he was wearing Nikes or something.

Speaker 1 If he was wearing Nikes. Yeah, but could you imagine, like, if you're thinking back to that, and like you could have had the guy for,

Speaker 1 you know, relatively cheap considering how good he is. I think Under Armour was like $4 million or something.

Speaker 4 How many people do you think got fired for that mistake?

Speaker 1 A lot. A lot.

Speaker 1 I mean, I don't, it's just a crazy, crazy story that they would do that to a guy like Steph Curry. Obviously, he wasn't Steph Curry then, but also hot seat.

Speaker 1 Anyone who hasn't bought our July 4th merch, which is out now, go to the Barstool Sports store. It is sick.
We got all new merch for 4th of July. My cool throne is Brooks and Bryson.

Speaker 1 So Brooks had a comment at the U.S. Open that was basically like, stop asking questions about the Live Golf tour.
You're basically taking away from our U.S. Open and

Speaker 1 the PGA tour. He's right.

Speaker 1 I'm happy that someone spoke up about that because he's essentially like, we're just giving them press when every press conference everyone does is a question about live golf and not the U.S.

Speaker 1 Open, which is taking place this weekend.

Speaker 4 They're also asking him basically to talk shit about his brother. Yeah.
So if you ask Brooks that question,

Speaker 4 if Brooks answers in any way, any form, the way that you want him to answer by asking that question, he's basically saying, like, I hate my brother.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. And then Bryson, as much as we don't like him, he was the first answer that I saw that was like, okay.
He basically was like, yeah, it was financial.

Speaker 1 And I also don't have to play as much golf. I can like have more of a life.

Speaker 1 And it was like, hey, someone finally answered why they're doing the live golf instead of being like, you know, mumbles of words and these weird like reasonings.

Speaker 1 He's just like, yeah, it was financial. It was for money.
It was for money. Which is what is what I'm like, appreciate his honesty.

Speaker 4 Yeah, except

Speaker 4 maybe not total honesty because he's like, I'm excited to spend all this extra time with all my friends. Yeah.
It's like, wait, you don't have to back up for a second, Bryson.

Speaker 9 Yeah.

Speaker 8 Rory is like really, really riding hard for the PGA. It's kind of cringe.

Speaker 1 I like it. No, I like it.
I don't think it's cringe.

Speaker 8 He was like, oh, yeah, like, I won the fucking Canadian Open last week. That means something.
It's like, does it?

Speaker 4 Is that cringe?

Speaker 1 I'm going to say no. Right.

Speaker 8 Yeah. The majors mean something.

Speaker 1 But I kind of like the eighth major.

Speaker 4 I do like the rivalry, though.

Speaker 1 Yeah. No, it's a very WWE, you know.

Speaker 8 Yeah, but like if the live tour goes on 10 more years, it could mean something. Like everything doesn't mean anything its first year.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they're building something. The course looks awesome.
You fuck with the vision? Let's build.

Speaker 8 No, I just think Roy, you know, what is it? Roy's a bootlicker.

Speaker 1 Wait,

Speaker 4 what would that make the guys that are bootlicking the live tour?

Speaker 1 Yeah, those might be the bootlickers.

Speaker 8 No, they're just paid assassins.

Speaker 1 If you're, I like the spin zone. If you're here,

Speaker 1 you should be working with Greg Norman.

Speaker 4 Hit me up. The bottom line is, if you have a boss,

Speaker 4 to a certain extent, you are a bootlicker. Yeah.
You're going to have to lick a boot at some point.

Speaker 1 Um, not me,

Speaker 1 yeah, that's true. We have to lick your boots.
Uh, all right, Billy, hot seat cool duron.

Speaker 10 Uh, we may have brushed over this earlier, but my hot seat's Jason Tatum. Another cool stat, he has bypassed uh, LeBron James as having the most turnovers by a player in a single postseason.

Speaker 10 He has 95, so not the MVP type performance we've been expecting. A lot of turnovers.

Speaker 1 I would, if I had to vote right now, I'd vote Steph as the Warriors, and I'd vote Robert Williams.

Speaker 1 Maybe his stats aren't there, but if you watch this series, Robert Williams is the most impactful Celtic.

Speaker 8 Yeah, I just don't think there's any shot that if the Celtics do win, then it's not Tatum.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I agree.

Speaker 4 I've changed my mind, though. I think the funniest outcome is that

Speaker 1 you're still

Speaker 4 if the Warriors win and Jason Tatum goes off in the next two games for like 50 points each, and then Jason Tatum gets the MVP in a losing effort.

Speaker 4 That would be the funniest outcome for Bill.

Speaker 5 I think Jalen Brown's playing much better, but he was

Speaker 1 a dribble. Excuse me.
He can't dribble.

Speaker 8 You didn't watch the game.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you don't.

Speaker 9 I think he's putting this.

Speaker 1 Billy's just

Speaker 1 a game. I do watch the game ball.
Do me a favor, Billy. Billy, you don't know ball.

Speaker 10 I don't.

Speaker 1 I just love it.

Speaker 1 That's what people love to say.

Speaker 4 You're casual.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they're like, you don't know ball, bro.

Speaker 10 My other hot seat is Sharknado. Move over Sharknado.
We now have a Shark Kano, which is a bunch of sharks.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 9 I saw that.

Speaker 10 So a bunch of shit.

Speaker 4 It sounds like an awesome novelty drink.

Speaker 8 Right.

Speaker 10 But you guys remember Sharknado, a little sci-fi movie, Summer of Sharknado, was pretty cool back in the day.

Speaker 10 Well, now there is real-life sharks who have adapted to living inside of a volcano in the middle of the ocean.

Speaker 1 How is that possible? I call bullshit. Isn't it magma?

Speaker 10 They have adapted to swimming in the extra hot waters and the like the different acidity they've adapted to.

Speaker 1 I call bullshit.

Speaker 10 Some have said that their skin has become

Speaker 10 heat resistant and they're able to thrive in these.

Speaker 1 This is one of those stories that science just releases so that everyone gets interested in science. Yeah, yeah.
I call bullshit.

Speaker 1 It's like how every

Speaker 4 like two weeks there's an article that comes out. Oh, we think we found life on Mars.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. Like, you're just trying to get us interested in science.
Not going to work. Yeah, NASA's just trying to get it.
The finals are on.

Speaker 10 When the sharkano explodes and a bunch of sharks from that are volcanic land everywhere, like in Sharknado,

Speaker 9 He'll be like, oh, sharkano.

Speaker 1 He'll step on them because they're not going to be in water.

Speaker 1 Yep. Cool throne.

Speaker 10 Zach Wilson has been having great training camp. He went eight for nine in 11 on 11 drills.

Speaker 1 Nice.

Speaker 9 Nice.

Speaker 10 Some are saying that he's looking extra crispy in camp.

Speaker 1 That's never happened. Extra crispy, Zach Wilson.

Speaker 10 It's getting pretty serious.

Speaker 4 So what's your projected stat line for Zach Wilson week one next year?

Speaker 10 The exact same one I said before. I think it was like 250 yards, three touchdowns, one interception.
Okay, nice. And I think he passed over 50%.

Speaker 6 Also,

Speaker 10 other cool throne zoos, there was a dog that was a stray dog ran into a gorilla enclosure, and they didn't shoot the gorilla.

Speaker 1 That was one of the best, like, hyper-specific hot seat cool thrones. It was like my Tatum bet for veganism, science fact,

Speaker 1 Jets quarterback,

Speaker 1 gorillas. I actually think

Speaker 1 it's not over there. That was bingo.
That was Billy Bingo. But I also think that if you go back and you look at all four of our hot seat cool thrones so far,

Speaker 4 our listeners should be able to get 100% right assigning who picked which one. Yeah.
If it was like a blind test.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but that was.

Speaker 10 We should put out that graphic.

Speaker 1 Yeah, okay. What was your last one?

Speaker 10 Last one, there was a new border drawn between North America and Europe.

Speaker 10 There was a island that Canada and Denmark have been sort of having a proxy war over, but it's more like a funny, like they like put Canadian whiskey and then they'll like put some Danish drink down.

Speaker 4 That's like a mare's bet.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 10 But they decide just to split the island and now there's a new border between the North America and Europe, which is weird because they're across the sea from each other.

Speaker 1 That is weird.

Speaker 1 Okay. Nice.
Good job, Billy. I enjoyed that hot seat.
Cool thrown very much.

Speaker 11 My hot seat is fake Clay Thompson.

Speaker 1 Oh, yes.

Speaker 11 He has been banned for life from the chase center. He walked through five layers of security and put up shots on the court for 10 minutes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, on Monday night.

Speaker 4 He must be a pretty good shooter, right? To be out there for 10 minutes and not a long time.

Speaker 1 It was early. I think it was very, like, way before any players were out there.
And he tweeted, he was like, do I regret giving up $10,000 tickets? Because he didn't get to go to the game.

Speaker 1 He's like, no, I was an NBA player for 10 minutes. That's pretty cool.
Yeah.

Speaker 11 Yeah, so that's tough. My cool throne is Joey Vado.
A little girl made a sign. Will you make a TikTok with me? And he did on the field.

Speaker 9 I saw that. Pretty cool.

Speaker 1 That was beautiful. Yeah.
That was beautiful. Good for Joey Vado.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. Good job, boys.
Let's get you, Ryan Whitney.

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Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on our very good friend, Ryan Whitney.

Speaker 1 He was supposed to be our guest a couple weeks ago when he got held hostage by the country of Canada. That's why we ended up with a drunk biz.

Speaker 1 Wit.

Speaker 1 It was.

Speaker 1 He was hammered. He actually said, I don't know.
He was loaded. I don't know if you listened to any of it, but he basically did like 15 minutes of shout-outs to the TNT crew.
Like everyone.

Speaker 7 He made your show just his like, thank you, please, to TNT to get staring.

Speaker 4 Part of my take is the credits to Spit and Chicklis.

Speaker 1 It was incredible, but we were happy he filled in because you were being held hostage.

Speaker 1 So, can you tell everyone the whole story that maybe doesn't know it? Because you, I saw today, it was retweeted on my timeline.

Speaker 1 There are now Canadian politicians who are mentioning you by name who are like, listen to Wit. This guy gave an impassioned speech in whatever Congress or Senate is is in Canada, Parliament.

Speaker 1 I don't know. The Moose Lodge.
Yeah, you're becoming like

Speaker 1 you've ignited an international incident, and I think you're making change. Like, you've created change, right?

Speaker 7 Oh, yeah, there's been change.

Speaker 7 Little did we know it would take an American,

Speaker 7 a scrub former hockey player American, to lose his mind at Pearson International Airport, the worst airport on earth, to end up causing the Canadian parliament to end up finally making some decisions that'll help out their citizens.

Speaker 7 I mean, we had this guy today, Michael Barrett. He's my new best friend, I think.
He's saying, will the Prime Minister listen to it?

Speaker 1 That's the guy. That's the guy.
And I actually, I'm wondering, side note on that, he said Ryan Whitney Spitting Chiclets fame. Does that hurt a little bit?

Speaker 7 No.

Speaker 7 That actually feels amazing.

Speaker 1 Okay, because I was going to say, like, you played in the league for a long time. You also have a lot of people.
You've got a better at this. Yeah, but you also have a liquor.

Speaker 1 Like, if he'd said Pink Whitney fame, that would have been a good idea.

Speaker 7 Oh, that would have been a little cooler because we probably would have sold a couple more bottles based on that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's true. But so you just got locked.
Like you got locked in the entire country of Canada for 48 hours.

Speaker 7 Yeah, long story short, got into Canada, waited about three hours from the worst, like somewhat.

Speaker 7 I actually can't even say it's like a normal scenario getting through U.S. customs in Canada, but they have the worst setup ever, waited three hours, finally got through, waited another three hours.

Speaker 7 They closed the line that we were in, went to another line, they ended up closing that line.

Speaker 7 So then had to get in the line to get back into Canada to then stay in a hotel for about two hours until I had to report to my flight the next morning, in which I finally got about two, three hours of sleep, got back to the airport.

Speaker 7 I was told that in those three hours, they had switched my flight to another flight to Montreal instead of to Boston. And it was so close that I couldn't make it.
So at that point,

Speaker 7 the mind was, Big Cat, EFT, you could could have.

Speaker 7 I was having a legitimate meltdown as they told me. Like, I was thinking, I was like, I'm not getting home.
I am Tom Hanks from the terminal. And so, I've, I talked about on chicklets.

Speaker 7 It took me about 30 minutes to describe what just happened, and I just did it in three seconds for you guys. Maybe that means I shouldn't have spent 30 minutes last chicklets describing it.

Speaker 7 Like, I went into such detail that, yeah, all of a sudden, like, the thing went so crazy viral that all these politicians in Canada were like, This is a joke.

Speaker 7 And then people say, like, this is classic. People say, Oh, like, quit your whining, baby.
You're a fucking baby. Everyone deals with this.
It's like, yeah, sorry, bitch. I have a following.

Speaker 7 Like, what am I going to do? Like, sorry, people are listening to me just because, yeah, I know regular, everyone's, everyone's the same when they're stuck in an airport.

Speaker 7 But if you have a big following and you could get out and maybe show some people what's actually going on in certain airports, yeah, I'm going to do it. So I did.

Speaker 7 And now all of a sudden, I think Canada is going to be renamed after me.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Or at least they're going to pass a law name, like Whitney's Law. Sounds like if you played in the league, you shouldn't have to go through customs.

Speaker 7 It's folk, like somebody was writing like Whitford Prime Minister joking around. There's so many responses.
He's not even from Canada.

Speaker 1 Like, thanks, Tips.

Speaker 1 I mean, it was the whole thing, I felt bad for you because it really was like the our little piece of it was that we were supposed to have you on PMT that night and you're like, I land at 3.30.

Speaker 1 Remember that, yeah, we talked about it. Yeah, you're like, I have a five-hour layover.
I'm going to go through customs. Then I'll zoom in while I'm sitting for my flight.

Speaker 1 And next thing you know, like two days pass, and it's like, wait, he's still in Canada? What the hell?

Speaker 7 I have a beard, and I'm in Terminal One at Toronto Pearson Airport right now.

Speaker 1 And then, like, what else?

Speaker 7 What else was I just going to say happened that involved?

Speaker 7 Oh, yeah. And, like, in terms of us trying to do the show, I kept being like, I got I got two more hours to do part of my take Ronde.

Speaker 1 I was like, I'm never getting on business.

Speaker 4 It seems to be like sour grapes because it seems like we have their cup and now they kidnap one of our podcasters.

Speaker 1 Exactly.

Speaker 7 And I really, I really thought I was never leaving.

Speaker 7 So, oh, this is, this is what I was thinking. So I left Edmonton at about 10 or not.
Like, I left the hotel at 9 a.m.

Speaker 7 R.A. left.
the hotel at 11 p.m. for like a 1245 p.m.
flight red eye and got home before me.

Speaker 1 That's so fucking good. R.A.

Speaker 4 is the one that they let breeze through customs.

Speaker 1 Yeah. This guy between all the drugs.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I will give you credit. Like you were till the last second, you're like, I can still do it.
I can still do it. And then finally, you're like, I think I'm screwed.

Speaker 1 And then, flash forward, you're still there for me. And I'm like, you don't want me on in this state I'm in.

Speaker 7 Although, I do say, I think I kept a pretty level head. Like, that video I put, I mean, I.

Speaker 7 Realistically, like, if you told me what happened and I, and then you said, you're going to make a video after this happens, I would have thought I'd be like screaming and scratching myself.

Speaker 7 And I was pretty much just, all right, I'm in hell right now.

Speaker 1 Do you know what they need to do now that I'm thinking about it? Because I had nothing close to what you had

Speaker 1 on Sunday getting back from San Francisco, but it was, you know, delays and bullshit getting jerked around.

Speaker 1 They should really have one of those break rooms where you can go in and you can just smash shit. Because that would be incredible.

Speaker 1 Like, if you're delayed enough, you can pay like 20 and fuck the United Club. Fuck the Delta Club.
I don't want like that stupid mix they give you and like one free diet Coke.

Speaker 1 I want to go in and I want to smash a TV. I want to I want to punch something.
I want to smash something. And then I'll come out and I'll be like, all right, I'm fine.

Speaker 1 I'll sit here and deal with the delay.

Speaker 8 I want to office space, a printer while I wait for my fourth delay.

Speaker 1 Because you have that feeling of hopelessness where you're like, nothing will change, and you just want to, you just want to punch something.

Speaker 9 You know what they should give you?

Speaker 4 They should give you like one of the planes that they're taking out of commission and let you go beat the fuck out of an airplane. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 7 Let you rip an oxygen mass out of the top.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Just go fucking bananas.

Speaker 7 I also love the people I know you guys deal with. Like I I was like, this is hell on earth, blah, blah, blah.
And it's like, you've been to Ukraine?

Speaker 1 Yeah, here we go.

Speaker 1 That's always going to happen. Yeah, fuck.
I haven't been to Ukraine. No shit.
Ukraine tours in my fucking airport.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 So let's talk some Stanley Cup final. I know you're going to be here next week.
We'll probably have you and Biz on together next week in person, but

Speaker 1 let's talk some Stanley Cup final because we're going to run this on Wednesday morning when

Speaker 1 the first game one is happening. Tell me I'm crazy, but I've loved watching the Avs.
They're incredible. I think the Lightning are going to win.
And I don't understand why they're underdogs.

Speaker 1 Like, I don't get. I'm with you.

Speaker 7 I'm with you, Big Cat. It doesn't make any sense.
It makes me very weary of how the series is going to go. Almost like, is Colorado going to win in four or five based on that number?

Speaker 7 I think plus 150 the last time I saw it. So we just did our preview with the Chickots boys, and RA, Grinnelli, and myself all picked the Lightning, and Biz is on the Avs.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 7 yeah, exactly. That's what I said.
I go, perfect. Only thing is Elio, our boy Elio is on Tampa.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 7 I lean towards goaltending. It's like I said on the show, it's like having the number one ace pitcher.
It's like having the best quarterback, having the goal, the goalie that is the best in the world.

Speaker 7 It's like, how am I going to pick against that?

Speaker 7 I've honestly also said I will not pick against Tampa until they lose. I picked them to win the past two Stanley Cups.
So

Speaker 7 I'm not going against the grain here. They have this ability.

Speaker 7 Well, with their forwards up front, they can shut down any forwards because the goaltending, they can shut down a power play, even though the Rangers' power play was buzzing.

Speaker 7 But it's just such a complete team that even though Colorado has McKinnon and McCarr, and McCarr after Connor McDavid, is probably the best player in the league.

Speaker 7 It's like McDavid, Matthews, McCarr, just mix and jumble them up. But this guy is such a game breaker, like a legitimate modern-day Balbiore.

Speaker 7 I know it sounds crazy, but once you see him play, a lot of people who I think will tune into this cup final who are maybe just fringe hockey fans will will probably see and be like, oh my God, what am I watching with this kid?

Speaker 7 So the best defenseman in the world. But even having said with McKinnon and him, they got the cadre injury.
Now he could play, and he's such a big factor on this team.

Speaker 7 Not only is he a great player, but he's a rat. He gets in your face.
He pisses you off. And he had to have surgery.
So like his thumb is obviously messed up.

Speaker 7 If he's able to play, he's going to be able to shoot the puck. He'll still be able to get under people's skin, but he's so good at actually producing points.
That's a huge loss.

Speaker 7 And on the other side, Tampa's best player, besides Big Cat the goalie, is Braden Point. And now it sounds like he's going to be back, maybe not game

Speaker 1 early in the series.

Speaker 7 They've gone eight and two without him. I mean, they swept Florida, who won the president's trophy.
They just beat New York fourth straight. They didn't even have him.

Speaker 7 So to get him back, it's like the loss of cadre, the addition of point, and the difference in goaltending, because no matter who plays Franco, Francu, or Kemper in Colorado, Vasilevsky's on a different planet.

Speaker 7 So I don't understand the plus 150 number. It's so confusing to me, but

Speaker 1 I don't care. I'm with Tampa.

Speaker 4 I feel like the experience of the goaltending is way more important in the Stanley Cup finals. Like being in that situation in the past two years, that probably, I don't know, maybe you can tell me.

Speaker 4 Do you think it makes more of a difference for a goaltender to have been there before or just, you know, a random defenseman out there?

Speaker 7 I think a goaltender, yeah, I would agree with that. I mean, the one thing is that is true in terms of

Speaker 7 the cup finals that the Tampa's won. Dallas two years ago in the bubble was a good team that got hot at the right time,

Speaker 7 but totally overmatched. And last year, Montreal was one of the worst teams to ever be in the finals.

Speaker 7 So this is the first time that Colorado, sorry, excuse me, Tampa's had a true test in terms of like who they're battling against for that final step, that final four games you need to win to get the cup.

Speaker 7 So that's what maybe Vegas is looking at, but they haven't played a team this good in the cup final yet.

Speaker 7 And the other good thing is for the fringe hockey fan and even the diehard hockey fan out there, as the season began, I would actually love to maybe look and see what I told you guys back in the middle or early in the season.

Speaker 7 It's like these were the two teams that everyone kind of saw standing above and beyond everyone else.

Speaker 7 And the fact that they're meeting and matching up with every game on ABC, it's the first time a cup final has had every single game on national television where it's not even, you don't even need a cable package to get it.

Speaker 7 So that's pretty big for the game in terms of ABC having hopefully seven games against two, the two premier teams in the NHL. So

Speaker 7 I haven't been this excited for a final in a long time.

Speaker 1 It's going to be awesome. Now,

Speaker 1 like you just said, the last two cup finals,

Speaker 1 the Lightning have not played maybe the best possible teams because the teams got hot.

Speaker 1 But could you also make the argument, like, they've had a tougher road to this cup final than the Avalanche on paper because they played teams that won over 110 points.

Speaker 1 So do you think that has anything to do with how this plays out that the Avalanche have had no, there's no easy series in the Stanley Cup playoffs, but they have not played the best goalies.

Speaker 1 They have not played the best defenses. Like they haven't been tested in a way that they're going to be tested in this series.

Speaker 7 No doubt.

Speaker 7 And then even on the flip side of that, though,

Speaker 7 it could be one of those things where Tampa's the underdog because of the rest Colorado has kind of could.

Speaker 7 taken with with how quickly they've ended the series. I think I looked up their,

Speaker 7 I think they're the seventh team to ever ever just lose two games to get to the cup final. They went sweep, they went 4-2 second round, and then they went sweep in the third round against my Oilers.

Speaker 7 So, yeah, it's almost like Toronto's, I mean, because of Toronto and Florida being that good, Tampa's had such a better test and then having a beach Shasterkin and the Rangers.

Speaker 7 But then on the flip side, it's like, oh, but has those three teams worn Tampa out enough that Colorado does have a leg up from only playing? I mean, what have they played?

Speaker 7 Six and plus eight, 14 games to get here. So the thing is, Biz made a good point.
Basically, Tampa is now playing Toronto with a better defense and maybe a little better bottom six.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 7 So Toronto, I mean, Toronto had them. They had them dead to rights.
They had them down 3-2. They had him.

Speaker 7 It was it. And Tampa was able to claw and scratch their way back.
Well, now they're dealing with Toronto, but even a little deeper and a little better.

Speaker 1 Could you do the flip, though? Could you say that now? Let's flip it again. Well, the Avalanche are now dealing with a better blues team who two tested them and went six.

Speaker 1 Like, plays good defense, can you know, muck it up? Like, that's what I would see is, like, that's, because, you know, Edmonton plays wide open. The Predators were just running off the ice.

Speaker 1 Like, like, this is, this is the Blues series, but the Lightning are considerably better than the Blues.

Speaker 7 The Lightning are going to completely attempt and probably be at least successful in certain games at just slowing down the neutral zone. So, Colorado, they just have so much team speed.

Speaker 7 Like, when you watch their games or their highlights in their games, you just see these teams flying through the middle of the ice, creating plays off the rush.

Speaker 7 And Colorado, I mean, Tampa is just so good at kind of figuring out how to just totally stop that momentum. And part of the reason is Anthony Sorelli.
He's a guy that I would say

Speaker 7 the fans who aren't seeing a ton of hockey maybe not, don't know, but he's just this shutdown center. He could play against the top players.
He played against Matthews.

Speaker 7 He played against Barkov in Florida and just played against Zebenejad in New York and really kind of stifled these guys in terms of like slowing them down down five on five.

Speaker 7 So McKinnon and McCarr are going to have to be ready to deal with this guy who's just in your face, great skater, and like anyone else on Tampa, just buys into this system.

Speaker 7 Another thing in Tampa I mentioned is Alex Killorn, who had a career year. He had 25 goals in the regular season.
He had 59 points, the most he's ever had.

Speaker 1 He doesn't have a goal yet in the playoffs.

Speaker 7 So it's like. At some point, this guy's going to break out.
He's won the last two cups. He's played a big role.
All of a sudden, he gets two, three, four goals in the cup final.

Speaker 7 It's just another addition with a team who's also also getting back points so i i'm on tampa like i don't i just will not pick against them and and if they win this one i'm picking them next year

Speaker 1 what about the

Speaker 7 what about the altitude people don't talk about the altitude when it comes to hockey or basketball it's only in football that we talk about the altitude does that make any difference whatsoever i think it could but i'm guessing that tampa is already there yeah probably got there yesterday even though the game's wednesday try to get used to that but i mean i remember if you if you had a trip where you'd play the Minnesota Wild, then you had to fly to Colorado after the game, you're playing a back-to-back, that first period, you're just like,

Speaker 7 or you were just maybe a little hungover. So the air matters.
The air matters.

Speaker 9 What I saw you.

Speaker 1 Everyone Portnoy didn't think about the air, right?

Speaker 1 That was

Speaker 1 the Broncos. That was an all-time rundown clip where he's just like, he came after the AFC championship game.
The Broncos beat the Patriots. He's like, I didn't account for the air.

Speaker 4 I mean, people only talk about it when it comes to football because it's outdoors, and so you're surrounded by the air, but people forget that the air gets into the building also.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes, it does.

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Speaker 1 All right, so I saw a clip of you talking about Makar, who is the best defenseman, like you said, you know, maybe one of the best top three players in the entire league.

Speaker 1 Can you, for us idiots, can you explain to us what makes him so special and what he does as as a defenseman, both on defense and offense that makes him that like out of this world?

Speaker 7 So he is the best skater besides Connor McDavid in the league, like the fastest, best skater. And now McDavid does it all.
Like he's obviously a forward. He's skating forward.
He's got the cutbacks.

Speaker 7 He could stop on a dime. He's got that extra level, that speed burst button that you can press playing old video games.
But Makar, like he does it. He opens up his hips.

Speaker 7 So if you can imagine, like this guy's skating forward, all of a sudden he he kind of opens up his feet, opens up his hips, and he starts gliding by people kind of facing like sideways.

Speaker 7 I know it sounds so bizarre, but he's got the craziest hips I've ever seen. He'll skate up the ice.
He'll open up his feet. He'll buzz by people that way.

Speaker 7 And then even if he's the first guy in offensively as defenseman, next thing you know, in the screen, you see him faster than everyone getting back. And then he, you know, pivots, starts.

Speaker 7 skating backwards and he's caught up to the play. So it's like his speed allows him to join the rush offensively.

Speaker 7 he gets back he's the first guy back and he's able to play 30 minutes a game he does not get tired it seems like he doesn't even sweat defensively he throws like bigger hits than people people see like you can youtube he uh put jordan stall like ran him over this year and he's one of the bigger players in the league probably 6'4 230.

Speaker 7 he ran him over so the guy's like he's just a physical specimen he's somebody who can do it all he's able to do it all with ease because of his skating he's got one of the best shots i've seen.

Speaker 7 He comes over the line if he's carrying the puck. He gets shots through.
And then on the power play, he's just working the top of the blue line.

Speaker 7 He has his head up the entire time, and he just can really do it all. I know it sounds crazy, but like once you see this guy play, he is a freak of nature.
And so the fact that they have him.

Speaker 7 not only playing like defensive penalty kill playing against top lines then he gets on on on the offensive side and i swear to god he could be a forward in the league like he could if you put him up front he could probably play wing and and be fine and get freaking 80 points like he does defensively so it's just a player like a generational type talent who i love watching yeah when i saw the clip like i love anyone who talks about anything passionately and obviously you played defense and like to hear you talk about him i was like well this is you know i i know he's different i've watched the games and been like yeah he's different but to hear how excited you are to talk about him it like really hammers it home that like guys who played the same position know how special he is.

Speaker 1 Are you ever, do you watch it and you're like, man, like I wish, I wish I had any of like that. Like, oh, are you kidding me?

Speaker 7 I wouldn't be stuck in Pearson friggin' airport. I'd be flying a monster G5 probably myself to and from games.

Speaker 7 I, I, I, I, you know, how, like, you know, how, like, I guess, like Mahomes, I guess is a good analogy. Like, you're like, wow, something's different.

Speaker 7 Like, it's just, if you know, if you know sports, you just, you watch the game and you're like, that guy, I don't care if I've never watched hockey, like, what, that guy's different than everyone else on the ice.

Speaker 7 Yes. And I, and I, I, I just, I love that because that's what you hope to see.
And as you get older, it's like these players come along that you'll just never forget. And this kid's one of them.

Speaker 1 It's a great point, too, because, like, you got, I love those guys who, if you sit down and you just like sit with someone who's never watched this sport and you're like, all right, pick out the best player and they can figure it out right away.

Speaker 1 It's like, yep, that's it. That's why he's special.
That's why he's different. That's why, you know, he makes he makes these plays.

Speaker 7 Yeah, and he doesn't. And you know what? He didn't even,

Speaker 7 he signed an extension.

Speaker 7 He could have got way more, but he's kind of under the

Speaker 7 McKinnon's taking a little bit of a lot less. It's like they're starting to really in Colorado figure it out.
Like everyone takes a little bit less, the Penguins model, the way Crosby did it.

Speaker 7 And then all of a sudden, you could try to kind of go on a little run and win a few cups because when you got a couple of guys making all the dough, it's just impossible nowadays to continue to win at a certain level.

Speaker 4 You're selling yourself short a little bit, though. Like, I would say that Ryan Whitney is a guy that a nice way to say it would be like, you got the absolute most out of your ability.

Speaker 7 No, I didn't. No, I didn't.
I really didn't.

Speaker 7 I got hurt, but I also didn't have a great attitude and didn't approach the game maybe as professional as I would have liked in terms of the off-ice antics. I did not get the most out of my potential.

Speaker 7 I promise you.

Speaker 4 So what would future Ryan Whitney say? What would like current day Ryan Whitney say if he could travel back in time and talk to Lil Witt?

Speaker 7 Damn.

Speaker 1 Hmm.

Speaker 1 We're now doing what's going on.

Speaker 7 Maybe one of those, like, when you make the NHL, or I didn't think it when I I made the NHL, but when you have one or two good years,

Speaker 7 you have to continue to not only keep that same work ethic, but probably even up it a little bit as you get a little older, you got to work a little harder.

Speaker 7 And as I was like, after a few good years, my first and second year, my two best years, it's like, I got it, I made it.

Speaker 1 This shit's easy.

Speaker 7 Oh, this is the fucking NHL. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 That's related.

Speaker 7 Talk to me. Talk.

Speaker 1 Find me another league. What a joke.
Yeah, and then they did in Russia.

Speaker 7 Yeah, they did.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was called the AHL and then the KHL.

Speaker 4 Where do you stand on the touching of the trophies for the conference championship?

Speaker 1 Oh, we actually didn't.

Speaker 7 We had that on the outline for the show today. We didn't talk about it.
We didn't touch it in Pittsburgh. I saw Vasilevsky touch it, so I'm guessing he's touched it the prior two years.
I don't know.

Speaker 7 It's like foolish to me. I mean, like, does that really affect how the Stanley Cup final goes? I don't know.

Speaker 7 Whatever makes you more comfortable playing that final series, whether you touch it or not, I could care less, though.

Speaker 4 I feel like whatever you do, you have to do it as a team.

Speaker 1 You can't have somebody. I know.

Speaker 7 That's what was weird is Tampa only had one or two guys holding it.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you got to, you got to all be committed on this and say, okay, yeah, we're going to touch the trophy because who gives a shit?

Speaker 4 Or, all right, guys, no one's touching the trophy and everyone's on board with that.

Speaker 7 The funny thing is, though, you talk about like, oh, don't touch a trophy. Oh, you got to touch a trophy.
It's like.

Speaker 7 When you go on to win or lose, it doesn't get brought up in the post-game press conference after the cup finals. So it's like, does it really matter?

Speaker 1 It's like, I don't know. Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, I could.
We never hear from it again. Yeah.
They've done. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think one team that can get a pass is probably is Tampa in this in this one. Just whatever they do, it's obviously been working.

Speaker 1 If they do win this one, where do they go down as like all-time teams? Because three in a row is insane.

Speaker 7 It's insane.

Speaker 7 And Pat Maroon would have four in a row because he had the one in St. Louis, which is wild.
And so the Islanders, they won four in a row.

Speaker 7 They actually got back to a fifth in a row, but Edmonton beat them, which kind of some people are comparing to this, where it's like this new age, great team, this new age, possible dynasty Colorado could knock off Tampa and end their run and start their own run.

Speaker 7 Um, but I got to put them with with the parody in today and the salary cap. Like, I have to put them

Speaker 7 top three greatest teams of all time.

Speaker 7 And people will say that such recency bias because of all the dynasties that Montreal Canadians had in the 70s, but not 32 teams, not 32 teams in the league and salary.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 yeah, no cap.

Speaker 7 Yeah, With what they're doing and

Speaker 7 the whole

Speaker 7 process of how it's happened in terms of them breaking all these records and winning the president's trophy with one of the best regular season teams of all time in 2019 to only be swept in the first round by the eighth seed blue jackets.

Speaker 7 For that to happen, and like that is a crossroads at an organizational level. And did they trade guys? No.
Did they quit on guys? No. They made a few changes.

Speaker 7 They made a few subtle additions and subtractions probably to change how they play in the playoffs. And now this has happened.

Speaker 7 It's just such a, it's such a cool story for how you don't want to give up and give in too early on an organization and a team that you think has enough to win. And now they've just been unbeatable.

Speaker 1 It's wild. Okay.

Speaker 7 So I mean, Vasilevsky, guys, like he's incredible.

Speaker 7 The stats around the league and in pro sports and like wild numbers and Brady's, like how many conference championships games he's been to and Super Bowls he's been, but like Vasilevsky Vasilevsky in the last, I think, eight games where you could knock a team out, being 8-0, giving up two goals.

Speaker 7 Like, that has to be up there in terms of like mind-blowing stats in terms of a guy at the biggest moment being better than anyone else has ever been.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 he went zero goals against Dallas to win the cup last year. He went one goal against the Islanders to close them out in game seven, I believe, right? Yeah, and then he went to.

Speaker 7 Oh, that was a shutout, I think.

Speaker 1 It says goal.

Speaker 1 What is that?

Speaker 7 He gave up a goal in the Toronto, in first round this series in game seven against Toronto, and then he gave up a goal the other night in game six against the Rangers.

Speaker 7 And I think the other six games where they could close a series out, I don't think he's given up a goal.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's been insane.

Speaker 1 It's absolutely insane that he like, and it does feel, tell me if I'm wrong, but it feels like the Lightning are a team where this is the mark of a great team is they get better as the series goes on.

Speaker 1 Boom, boom.

Speaker 7 I actually had that written down. Their worst game in every series in this run, in this, what is it now?

Speaker 7 11 series straight. Their worst game has been game one.
Yeah. And John Cooper came out and he said, he goes, oh, we don't like playing game ones because there's no adjustments for us to make.

Speaker 4 Right.

Speaker 7 Because they're so good at like, all right, well, that part of the avalanche kind of exposed us in game one. We can change that in game two.
And then they just get better and better.

Speaker 7 And that's why like they are true champions.

Speaker 7 But the one thing on this this series colorado's had the rest so tampa had a bunch of rest the rangers had played seven games against carolina all of a sudden the rangers get out to a two nothing lead and tampa's kind of rusty and then they get rested they their rest shows as the series goes on well it could be the opposite here where tampa played a little longer and colorado has been chilling maybe tampa starts off nice and then colorado gets their legs and get takes over but i can't wait to find out because i think it's going to be the best final we've had in a long time so let's do some uh like avalanche win this series how they win it because i don't want Avalanche fans to be like, all you did was talk up the Lightning.

Speaker 1 I probably will bet the Lightning. I said I was going to bet the Avalanche, but then I saw the number and I was like, wait, the two-time defending cup champions are plus 155? Okay.

Speaker 1 But what, like, what, if we're sitting here in two weeks and the Avs won the series, is it like,

Speaker 1 what is the story going to be?

Speaker 7 Story will be that they were just able with team speed to just outskate and basically break through Tampa's like championship level defense.

Speaker 7 I think that the main thing actually might be that they do get great goaltending because Tampa's going to get chances. Like they have such a good team, no matter what.

Speaker 7 For Colorado to win this series, Kemper or François, whoever ends up playing is going to have to be really good.

Speaker 7 And then after that, I guarantee you, if Colorado wins, McCarr and McKinnon are both monsters the entire series.

Speaker 7 Because also, I should mention Rantonan. He's so good, such a big horse himself as a player for the Avs of finish forward.

Speaker 7 But I think that if goaltending's there and those three guys are lighting it up as they have been, Makar right now is no doubt the leader for the con Smythe.

Speaker 7 If Colorado does win, then that's what we'll look back and say. We'll say that the horses that we thought would light it up did, and Tampa's kind of dominance came to an end.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 So you alluded to it earlier when you talked about the Lightning and this team being like a top three team of all time, potentially.

Speaker 4 Let's say it, like, if the Lightning win the Stanley Cup, who are your top three teams?

Speaker 7 I would have to go the Islanders dynasties.

Speaker 7 I mean, four in a row.

Speaker 7 And then I think

Speaker 7 obviously this is really hard, but like maybe it's because I was 14 and 15 years old, and it was like my favorite memories as a young kid loving hockey. But the 97 and 98 Detroit Red Wings were

Speaker 7 like right there. You know, Mount Rushmore have great teams.
I love you. I know you guys love the Mount Rushmores.
So

Speaker 7 I I guess I'll go with those three. I mean, that's leaving out the Oilers.

Speaker 7 That's leaving out the Avs of like 2003, I think, or no, 2001 with Ray Bork. There's just so many options, but

Speaker 7 the Lightning with three in a row in the 2020s are right there.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 4 And I'm looking at your Wikipedia page right now, actually. Did you know that under

Speaker 4 your personal life, it now lists in June 2022, Whitney went viral on social media for posting a video on Twitter about his frustrations during his time at the Toronto Pearson International Airport.

Speaker 4 That's officially made your Wikipedia page now.

Speaker 7 Yeah, that's because I put it there.

Speaker 1 I'm giving up for Chicago.

Speaker 14 Sebastian Maniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is coming to Hulu on November 21st.

Speaker 1 30 years ago, Jeff Bezos, complete nerd. Bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht, and the boxes keep

Speaker 1 coming.

Speaker 14 Sebastian Manascalco. It ain't right.
Premieres November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers.

Speaker 1 Terms apply.

Speaker 1 Want to say anything about the NBA? I mean, I know you've been watching.

Speaker 7 I have been watching. Hometown team in the finals.

Speaker 7 I talked about this on Chickletts, but

Speaker 7 Steph Curry, like,

Speaker 7 how could you not like that guy? Like, besides the fact that his dad's dating his mom's ex

Speaker 1 new boyfriend,

Speaker 1 I love the wife swap.

Speaker 7 I love the wife swap in the Del Curry household, but Steph Curry is so unreal to watch. And like being, I'm putting in quotations, a Celtics fan, like I root for the hometown team.

Speaker 7 So I'm watching and I'm betting on them. I'm rooting for them.
But after not seeing much basketball, like when he's in those fucking grooves.

Speaker 7 And there's, he has no time or space and just chucks it up and you know it's going in. It's one of the craziest things to watch in sports.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 It's like that guy is so clutch. And also like for him, he's always in the news for good things.
He actually seems like a genuinely good guy.

Speaker 7 It's just so hard not to root for him because he is, he is so, like, I guess Larry Bird people would get so upset, but like, he's the best shooter of all time, right?

Speaker 1 Oh, it's not even close. Okay, okay.
Like, it's, it's not, I mean, it's so insane. It's absolutely insane.

Speaker 1 Like, the amount of threes he's hit, the percentage, the big time shots, like, the distance he hits him at. Obviously, the game stuff and warm-ups.

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, who is this guy? Obviously, the game's changed. So it's hard to judge like 80s and 90s guys because they just didn't, like, the game was never to take threes.
But still,

Speaker 1 it's not close. Like, I don't think anyone would argue that he's the greatest shooter of all time.
You know, the guy's like, he's sick at golf, too. He is sick at golf.

Speaker 4 That's what I was going to say, Hank.

Speaker 7 He played on a corn ferry tour event and was like, like, he's very, very good at golf. Just a freak athlete.

Speaker 4 You know, the guys that say at hockey games, like, the guys in the stands, it'll just be like, shoot it whenever you cross center ice.

Speaker 4 You can say that to Steph Curry, and it's it's actually a good strategy.

Speaker 7 Yeah, no, you don't sound like an idiot.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's the same as what we were saying about Makar. Like, if you had someone who never watched NBA watch a game,

Speaker 1 the person would be like, Why are there three guys chasing this guy around at half court? It's like, well, just watch. He's going to chuck one.
It's going to go in.

Speaker 7 And then he like, you know, he's like falling back as the guy's in his face. And you're like, there's no chance at going in.
It doesn't even sniff hitting the rim. It's just like, whoosh.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 7 But in terms of like ripping on the NBA a little bit, oh my God, Clay Thompson.

Speaker 1 You guys

Speaker 1 that was like the most pathetic ever.

Speaker 7 Like, yeah, we've dealt with rude crowds before.

Speaker 7 Swearing in front of children. Good job, boss.

Speaker 1 He's just crying.

Speaker 7 And then the fact it's so typical that they fucking pull up a clip of scumbag Warriors fans telling LeBron to blow them or to quit being a bitch.

Speaker 7 And then Draymond swearing in front of his kid at the press conference. Like these guys.

Speaker 6 It It was a terrible, terrible look.

Speaker 1 That was one of those ones. I mean, we always say on this podcast, the minute you tell someone like real classy or stay classy, you're a loser.

Speaker 1 You're a loser. Like, just straight up, you're a loser.

Speaker 7 I thought that moment won the series for the Celts. And then that game four heartbreaker, they're probably in trouble now.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we'll see. I mean, we're taping this right before tip-off.
Is Billy there?

Speaker 4 He found out you were going to come on, and he was like, I don't want to be able to do it.

Speaker 7 Oh, I was going to ask him, how's your Saturday?

Speaker 1 Well, you'll see him next week, and we'll have to have you guys both on together. It'll be awesome.

Speaker 4 Actually, it's Monday, so now would be like the most appropriate day to say how's your Saturday Saturday.

Speaker 1 So we got to get you back in here on like a through.

Speaker 1 You know what?

Speaker 7 He probably knew somehow that I was going to be a part of Canadian Parliament. That's why he was so nervous talking to me.

Speaker 1 He's like, this guy wields a ton of power.

Speaker 7 Oh, man, this guy will get me deported.

Speaker 1 Win, I am curious to know,

Speaker 4 as a fellow Situitian,

Speaker 4 what's a word for somebody from Situate?

Speaker 7 Situate native, I would say. There's not really a way to describe uh

Speaker 7 another person i don't know a sailor as a situate native yeah i didn't go to situate high though have you been observing the hot streak that hank lockwood has been on recently and if so i'm curious to know if that affects your power rankings of famous situate natives oh he's always taught he's top number one for me he's top one he's just crushing life right now i was very very happy to see the the ovation he got at the garden that time i loved the fake shot carmella movie pulled I actually wondered if you shot that, are you getting kicked out of that game, you think?

Speaker 1 I think they let him stay.

Speaker 8 No,

Speaker 8 I was informed that definitely.

Speaker 1 No, if Dave goes in, they let him pull.

Speaker 8 And like Dave Seats would have been in jeopardy.

Speaker 1 Dave, I don't know. I feel like it would have been.

Speaker 8 No, I talked to the guy. Oh, really?

Speaker 1 Yeah. He would have missed.

Speaker 7 No, he's like, yeah, Dave could have shot it, but not you.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That would have been all time if he shot.
No, I love seeing it.

Speaker 7 Hank's crushing it. That's my one hope.

Speaker 7 I bet the Celts before the series. That's my one hope is that Hank's so hot the Celts can't lose.
Yeah, they're in line line tonight.

Speaker 1 Plus four. Four.
Yeah, four.

Speaker 8 Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's going to be interesting.

Speaker 1 We're about to sit in the gambling cave and watch the game.

Speaker 7 All right. I'm going to be there on Monday morning, guys.
Let's get together. And maybe, maybe all you guys, if not, I know PFT's been to one.

Speaker 7 Maybe we're doing a Monday the 20th and a Wednesday the 22nd stream at the Hobokenhouse for game three and four of the cup finals. You guys want to come in?

Speaker 1 Right after Barcelona. Actually, Wednesday, you might be doing it at

Speaker 1 Barstool HQ with the remaining three Barstool Idol contestants. We didn't tell you that.
We're going to torture them. Yeah.
Well, torture. I mean, that's a trial by fire.

Speaker 8 All right. I love it.
I love it.

Speaker 7 I appreciate you guys having me on as well.

Speaker 1 All right. Thanks, Wit.
Appreciate it. Thanks, Wit.

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Speaker 1 Okay, we're going to finish up with Guys on Chicks, and we got a a very special guest, our good friend, four-time Pro Bowler, musician, co-host of Macro Dosing.

Speaker 1 It is Arian Foster in studio for Guys on Chicks.

Speaker 1 What's up? What's up, man? You ready to do it? I am. Okay.
Let's get it in. Yeah, this is...

Speaker 1 We'll see. Yeah, I mean, we'll see how it goes.
Guys on Chicks, are you familiar with what we do? We give basically the best advice possible to women who have issues with their men or in general.

Speaker 1 Their own bodies. Oh, Jesus.
We explain women's bodies to themselves often.

Speaker 5 I'm an expert there. Okay.

Speaker 4 Arian did disclose the other week that he has slept with over a thousand women.

Speaker 5 Damn. It's a round at the end.

Speaker 1 You keep saying old or you keep.

Speaker 4 Well, you don't say a thousand if it's under a thousand.

Speaker 5 What if it's exactly a thousand? I don't want to slight that accomplishment.

Speaker 1 So, like, everyone in this room combined has slept with a thousand and

Speaker 1 forty women, maybe? That's pretty cool.

Speaker 1 That's cool. Yeah, we're not proud of it.

Speaker 1 I'm not proud of it.

Speaker 1 Had a wild

Speaker 1 go at it.

Speaker 4 We're all all averaging like 210.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's rumor.

Speaker 1 It's like Hank Aaron and his brother. I think his brother has like one home run.
It's like the Aaron brothers.

Speaker 1 Okay, all right, Billy, take it away.

Speaker 10 So my boyfriend has been calling my feet dogs for the past week, and it's starting to get annoying. How do I politely ask him to stop?

Speaker 1 Ooh.

Speaker 5 That's one of those things in relationships where you got to be honest with your partner.

Speaker 5 It's a love language, right? So

Speaker 5 his love language might be physical appearance, appearance, but at the same breath, if something is really bothering you, then I think you got to address it or else it becomes a small landmime that'll blow up later on.

Speaker 1 Isn't that also like, that is what feet are called? Your dogs are barking. I think you got to roll with it.

Speaker 4 I think it's only dogs

Speaker 4 if they're hurting or stinking.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 4 But if you... Now, is her boyfriend like a foot guy? Because that's weird if he's like trying to get down with her feet and he's calling them dogs.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's bestiality.

Speaker 10 I think this is a sneaky, like, psychological two-way. He's probably saying your feet stink, and that's how he's going to bring it up once you say, stop calling them dogs.

Speaker 1 Like, yeah, well, maybe they should take them. Yeah, maybe those dogs have fleas or something.

Speaker 5 See, we need more information because if they actually stink, then he's right. You got to take care of them.

Speaker 1 I don't think she knows that.

Speaker 5 Yeah. Just double check.
Or just ask him a question.

Speaker 1 Like, yo, why are you calling my feet dog? Yeah, or be like, what kind of dog are my feet? Because that would actually tell a lot, right?

Speaker 1 Like, if it's like a big lab that just ran around in the woods, or is it like a nice cute little Pomeranian?

Speaker 4 Yeah, we're talking about Pekinese here, and you get to like, you know, dress them up, paint them real nice, groom them.

Speaker 1 So I think that's the answer. Be like, what breed are my feet? And then you can go from there.
Because that will tell you a lot. What happens if you get in a relationship?

Speaker 1 Bulldog would be the worst, wouldn't it? Bulldog would be bad. Great Dane.
That'd be bad, too.

Speaker 5 What's the junks that can't really breathe? Because they face push the bus. The bulldogs.

Speaker 1 That's a bulldog. Yeah, pugs, pugs, pugs.

Speaker 4 A pug could be cute, though.

Speaker 1 But a pug also, they are. They are because they're ugly, though.

Speaker 4 Yeah, but some dudes are into ugly feet, too.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 4 There's some real freaks out there. Like, foot guys are fucking bizarre.

Speaker 1 There's a fetish for me. Cut them out, though.

Speaker 5 Call those guys out there. Why, Jerry?

Speaker 1 I'm not mad. I don't kink shame.
This month, love is love. No, I'm not, it's facts, but

Speaker 5 I'm not kink shaming at all, but it's like, I mean, I can understand if you have a kink for feet, but if you have a kink for ugly feet, I just need an explanation. I think that's okay.

Speaker 1 You think that's okay? Yeah, I mean, like, what if, what are we going to say, like, people who have a kink for, like, you know, fat guys? Is that wrong?

Speaker 5 No, like, some people like stuff to grab onto. Exactly.
I just want the, what's the appeal of ugly feet?

Speaker 4 I think that feet guys, I don't have a problem with like people that like feet, but I just think feet guys in general are like so, so into feet more so than like if somebody is a boob fan.

Speaker 4 If you're a boob, feet guys are like hockey fans.

Speaker 1 Well, you know what it is? They're like,

Speaker 4 they swear by feet. They think everybody should love feet.
And if somebody like talks about feet, they're like, what? No, I'm the expert on feet.

Speaker 1 It's also

Speaker 1 what the internet has done to our society.

Speaker 1 There's been a lot of good things. There's been a lot of bad things.
This isn't neither good nor bad, but feet people have been able to be like, oh, there's a lot of us out there. Like 30 years ago,

Speaker 1 a foot fetish guy, I don't know where he got it off. I don't know what, you know, he didn't, he probably kept it kind of close to the best.
Now it's like, dude, there's a lot of feet people out there.

Speaker 5 Which I think is a good thing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, let's all embrace each other.

Speaker 5 Yeah, community. Yeah, right.

Speaker 1 Exactly. They have a community.
I like it.

Speaker 10 Hey, guys. I keep having sex dreams about Big Cat, and it wasn't weird until Hank and Jake showed up in the last one.
How do I make it stop?

Speaker 1 Whoa.

Speaker 1 First of all, am I good?

Speaker 1 That would be a first question.

Speaker 5 I mean, if they're reoccurring, then I would say, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I guess that's true.

Speaker 10 Well, Hank and Jake came in as backup, so.

Speaker 4 Well, I need to know what role Hank and Jake were playing.

Speaker 5 Yeah, were they filming? Were they involved?

Speaker 1 This might be the first one we need a real follow-up of.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean,

Speaker 1 I would actually say, like, that's...

Speaker 1 we, it's one of those things that people listen to us all the time, and we are part of their lives.

Speaker 1 So, like, subconsciously, I had a dream the other night about, um, sorry, I didn't mean to say it like that, Arian. I had a dream.
I had a dream

Speaker 1 the other night where Stephen Che and I were being chased by, I don't even, it was like, it was like security guards in an arena. And I was like, God damn it, Stephen Che was in my dream.

Speaker 1 So, I feel like if you spend enough time listening or around someone, they sometimes will just end up in your dream, right?

Speaker 4 I bet Jake was just pounding that ass. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You were eating the butthole?

Speaker 4 Yeah, Jake was all over the hoop.

Speaker 1 Grabbing boards.

Speaker 1 Little known fact about our guy, Jake. He eats a great butthole.
Really? Yeah.

Speaker 5 Okay, so I was never into that, and I did used to kink shame that

Speaker 5 until I feel like I matured sexually and

Speaker 5 I tried it.

Speaker 1 I didn't hate it.

Speaker 5 I didn't hate it. But it's not my go-to, but if she wants,

Speaker 5 you know, I'm a faithful man right now. So if she wants it, I will oblige.

Speaker 1 Any tips for him, Jake, about

Speaker 1 eating a little hoop? Well, you don't want to do it too often. So that

Speaker 1 it feels even better. It means more.
Yeah. Yeah, it's a special occasion.
That's right. Like birthdays and anniversary.
Exactly.

Speaker 11 If you overdo it, it doesn't have as much meaning.

Speaker 1 I got a question.

Speaker 4 This is going to reveal me as being like a big prude.

Speaker 4 Don't you get infections and shit from eating shit?

Speaker 5 But, bro, you don't do it like after a long run.

Speaker 1 It's not after Taco Bell. It's only after a shower, man.
It's only after the shower.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm not out here just

Speaker 4 proper cleaning procedures.

Speaker 1 Hey, you need to up your fiber.

Speaker 4 I was watching the Colin Firth show, The Staircase. It's like the dramatized version of that documentary that came out a while ago.

Speaker 4 And there's one scene in it where his wife just got, I think she got back from a workout, and he's in the kitchen, and he just straight up pulls her pants down and goes right for the butthole.

Speaker 1 That's a little.

Speaker 4 And I'm like, this dude's got pink eye. He's going to be looking like Bob Costas in a second.

Speaker 5 Yeah, that's not the ideal ideal way to go about that.

Speaker 5 I'm very hygienic.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Everyone should practice good hygiene. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Hey, PMT.

Speaker 10 About a year ago, my husband and I got a dog and named him Baker. Huge Browns fans.

Speaker 10 Obviously, with all the QB things going on, we are now stuck with a dog that doesn't really play for our team anymore. What should we do and should we rename him?

Speaker 4 I mean, if he starts humping everything, then he's Deshaun.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I was going to say, like, Baker's not that bad. If you named it Deshaun, it'd be way worse.

Speaker 1 Yeah, way worse.

Speaker 4 I mean, Arian,

Speaker 4 as an NFL player,

Speaker 4 you took care of your body, I would assume, throughout the years.

Speaker 4 Did you ever hear about somebody using like 66 different masuses

Speaker 1 on their own?

Speaker 5 What is that average a month?

Speaker 1 It's a lot. What's that? I don't know.
Whether it's multi-no, it'd be like three a month, right?

Speaker 1 A little quick math. Five times.

Speaker 1 four, four a month. No, it's like five.

Speaker 4 Five times twelve would be 60.

Speaker 1 It's 17 months.

Speaker 5 I don't know about the situation, right? I don't know.

Speaker 5 That's wild accusations because it's all allegedly still, right? Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 5 And so all I say is, from my experience, athletes that find a masseuse or whatever the case, they usually stick with it because

Speaker 5 him or her because

Speaker 5 they hit all your rights, but they know what you want, and you don't have to always go in and and explain what you want. So, throughout my career, I played eight years, I had three, right?

Speaker 5 And I only switched because, like,

Speaker 5 something sheisty happened with the first one, and then they moved, so I had to get another one. But it's like

Speaker 1 it would be like, I mean, if the headline instead was Deshaun Watson had 66 different

Speaker 1 throwing coaches in 17 months, everyone would be like, What?

Speaker 4 Or dentists?

Speaker 1 Yeah, like, what's going on here? Yeah, no, yeah, it's it's it's definitely ATIP.

Speaker 5 It's it raises a a red flag. Like I said, I don't know.
I wasn't there.

Speaker 5 Let that get dealt with, how it gets dealt with.

Speaker 1 He also brought his own.

Speaker 4 He brought his own towel to the massages, too, which is like. Is that a real?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Like his own, like a mercenary going to war bringing their own gun. He's like going to all these appointments.
He's like, I brought my towel. It's just the right size that I like.

Speaker 1 It's like a pool sharp.

Speaker 4 And I'm taking it with me because it might be entered as evidence at some future.

Speaker 5 I can't call it.

Speaker 5 It sounds predatory.

Speaker 8 I ain't going to lie.

Speaker 1 But 66 is a lot. It's a lot.
As for this question, though, I think you just got to put the dog on waivers because it feels like that's what's going to happen, right?

Speaker 1 Like, the Browns are going to have to

Speaker 1 cut them at some point if they can't find a trading thing.

Speaker 5 Start naming your dogs after sports figures that aren't Hall of Famers. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's a good point. That's a very good point.

Speaker 4 That's why I say, like, buying a jersey of a current player is always a roll of the dice, too.

Speaker 5 Yeah, definitely.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Dog seems a little more

Speaker 1 permanent than a jersey.

Speaker 4 Or, like, naming your kid

Speaker 1 after a player. Yeah, yeah, for, yeah, and even that, like, you never know what could, you know.

Speaker 1 I bet you there's some people who name their kids OJ in like the 80s. That's still okay, though.
Yeah, actually, you could. There's always been like I love orange juice.

Speaker 9 That's true.

Speaker 1 That's true. OJ Mayo is my guy.
100%. Yeah, yeah, you know what I mean?

Speaker 5 But

Speaker 5 maybe don't name him after a player unless he's been to at least two or three all-star games.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's fair. That's a good little rule of thumb.
That's fair.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you're naming your dog on potential if you're calling him Baker.

Speaker 1 This one, you can just say, like, well, I think one of you either has to go go to culinary school or you got to get rid of the dog. The culinary school would probably be the more humane way, right?

Speaker 5 Or maybe she already bakes and you could just.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there you go. Like just get a specialty that everyone knows you for in your town.

Speaker 10 Like you bake the best apple pie.

Speaker 1 That's why your dog's named Baker.

Speaker 10 Or become stoners. Yeah.

Speaker 5 That's probably the better.

Speaker 1 Use the dog weed. Yes.

Speaker 5 Which is funny as hell if you've ever done that.

Speaker 4 It's really dangerous. What, get your dog's name?

Speaker 1 Billy's not happy about that. Billy just saying like

Speaker 1 that part. Billy's dark.
Billy would be. Billy's got all the cops on you.

Speaker 4 You're not allowed to smoke around my dog.

Speaker 10 Cause, like, what if the dog gets some mental?

Speaker 5 I would love to see your dogs die because all the shit you put in your buddy.

Speaker 1 Everything Billy knows from weed is from like a 1950s ad of people like losing their mind.

Speaker 10 Have you seen Reefer Madness? It's like dog emotional.

Speaker 1 Exactly, exactly.

Speaker 10 Hey, PFD boys, my fiancé has had zero involvement in the wedding planning process, but is now mad because our primary date is during football season.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 10 He's saying things like, we'll have a TV at the reception, right?

Speaker 10 Well, I hope you know I'm booked from Thursday to Monday on the honeymoon if this happens. I don't know what to do.

Speaker 10 Do I move it or accept the fact that I'll be watching football four days a week on my honeymoon?

Speaker 4 Okay, so I think it's more about the wedding. It sounds to me like he found out what the schedule was going to be.
And there's a big game for whatever his college football team is.

Speaker 4 It's taking place on that Saturday.

Speaker 4 And I feel like if it's taking place in the South, if you're getting married, I went to a wedding in South Carolina one time where everybody involved was a massive Alabama fan.

Speaker 4 You just have to bite the bullet and have a TV there because otherwise people are going to be watching on their phones.

Speaker 1 Also, this is 100% on him. I mean, if you're that big of a fan, you have to at least know when the date is, right? Like, the date is...

Speaker 1 You can be not involved, but the date is a pretty big decision. And if you're a big football fan, you're like, wait, oh, that's October on a Saturday? No, thanks.

Speaker 4 I think the only acceptable weekend as a college football fan to have a wedding is week two because that's when it's always like.

Speaker 1 I think, is that no, that's not Notre Dame, Ohio State.

Speaker 4 But that's usually the week, you know what I'm saying? Where they play the out-of-conference, like the bye games. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Where you're going to win no matter what.

Speaker 5 What's their name? They don't do names.

Speaker 1 They don't do names.

Speaker 5 Look, Shorty, use this, and I'm going to tell you why.

Speaker 1 Honeymoons

Speaker 5 are just extended vacations. And if you've ever been on a vacation for more than three or four days, it gets boring.
So use that time. It was great filler time.
I think this is a good time.

Speaker 5 Not only that, that's one, two,

Speaker 5 this is who your husband is. So you're going to have to deal with this

Speaker 5 anyway.

Speaker 5 So

Speaker 5 this is the man you decided to spend the rest of your life with. This is a microcosm of what your life is going to be.

Speaker 1 Just enjoy it.

Speaker 1 That's a good point. Like, this is, you've signed up for this in some way.
Like, you know that he... Again,

Speaker 1 I'm throwing a flag on this guy's football fandom the fact that like the the fall football the fall wedding was even agreed to because I know that like I'll have friends who will say hey my wedding's in the fall and I'll be like on a Saturday I'm not gonna make it So like there's I don't know.

Speaker 1 It's just I I'm throwing a flag on this guy.

Speaker 4 I feel like he's not as big of a football fan But she said he wasn't involved right, but the date he still has I assume he would have a say in the date although it's it's more than likely that she just picked a date and he was like sure that sounds great.

Speaker 1 There's not thinking. There's also one other path here, and this is what they call the mature path.

Speaker 1 And it's very difficult, but if you're the guy and the woman can explain this to him, it is one Saturday

Speaker 1 when you have like, you know, hopefully 60, 70 more years of your life, you can give up one Saturday.

Speaker 1 Again, I'm not mature enough to think this way, but some people can be like, you know, let's enjoy this one moment with our friends and family and the people we love the most and not worry about football and then we have the rest of our lives to worry about football again I do not think you should do this but it is something you could potentially do I think it's it's a potential thing you could do as as the groom in this situation but then you also have to think about the guests because the guests will just complain

Speaker 1 but the guests can just figure it out like if it there's a bar or something around there's part of the honeymoon too it's i think it's a combo oh yeah i think he's got the double whammy it's a double wheel yeah she just got to you gotta you just gotta eat that that one.

Speaker 1 All right, I'm looking right now. Kentucky, Florida, I definitely want to watch.
Also, look up the U-Miami schedule.

Speaker 10 Did some detective work, and it's a Miami era code.

Speaker 1 USC Stanford is always a game I want to watch.

Speaker 1 Loki Devon. Mississippi State at Arizona late night.

Speaker 1 Is it Miami? It's Miami, yeah.

Speaker 4 Oh, no. Could also be a Florida State fan.

Speaker 1 Okay. Southern Miss at Miami.
That should be a win for Miami. So there you can go.
Fun Belt. Wisconsin playing Washington State.
That's one you want to throw on there. Houston and Texas Tech.

Speaker 1 Dana Hogerson, Texas Tech. There's going to be some points in that game.

Speaker 4 There's going to be a lot of people.

Speaker 1 Iowa, Iowa State. Come on.
That's the Scihawk. Yeah, you're going to have to pick another week.
No way.

Speaker 9 I've just done a quick peruse of week two.

Speaker 4 Also, before you get married, you should already, like, if there's anything that you think that you might want to do for the rest of your life, I had a boss that used to talk about this a lot.

Speaker 4 Start doing that hobby before you get married because otherwise, if you want, if you pick up, let's say it's poker.

Speaker 4 Let's say after like 10 years of being married and you start playing poker, your wife's going to be like,

Speaker 4 why is he playing poker all of a sudden? He never used to play poker.

Speaker 4 So if there's even like a small part in the back of your brain.

Speaker 5 You're going to grow after marriage.

Speaker 4 Yeah, if there's a small part that's like, you might want to take up bowling at some point, start bowling now.

Speaker 1 Start bowling. Alabama's playing Texas at noon.
Oh, okay. Wedding's off.
This is over.

Speaker 4 Wedding's off.

Speaker 1 Divorce. Tennessee at Pittsburgh.
That's going to be a little revenge game, Arian. I know you don't really care about the balls, but did they lose last year? Yeah, they lost to Pitt last year.

Speaker 1 Wake Forest versus Vanderbilt. That's actually kind of a fun game because it's like two similar teams in their conference.
In their colors, too. Yeah, in their colors, yeah.

Speaker 1 So there's a lot of games that you're not going to want to miss.

Speaker 10 Hi, guys. I've been living with my boyfriend for six months now, and everything has been better than I could have expected.

Speaker 10 Better than I could have asked for, expect.

Speaker 10 Okay, they wrote this wrong. I could have asked, better than I could ask for.
When my boyfriend uses the bathroom and poops, I found a little bit of poop on the back of the seat.

Speaker 10 Now, at first, I thought it was a one-time thing,

Speaker 10 but it has continued to happen. I'm afraid to say something because I feel that he's old enough to not do this.

Speaker 1 Scoot up any advice would help.

Speaker 9 Thanks, guys.

Speaker 4 You have to check all the security tapes because you never know who actually pooped on the toilet seat.

Speaker 1 Scoot up. What is it?

Speaker 4 What? I don't know how that happens. I don't know.
I've been shitting for 37 years now, and I don't think I've ever pooped on a toilet seat.

Speaker 9 That's insane. Well,

Speaker 1 I'm trying to think.

Speaker 5 Are you looking like I could relate?

Speaker 11 It's possible if you have

Speaker 10 an explosive problem.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but multiple times. I agree with you, Billy.
There is definitely times I can't definitively sit here and say I've never pooped on a toilet seat.

Speaker 4 I'm not ready to say that. I mean, if I have, I definitely left it a mess because I didn't see it.

Speaker 1 Right. No, I know I've done it, but like, it's like Billy's saying, an explosive problem.
It's like, oh, shit.

Speaker 5 Like, this is a mess. I got it, bro.
I got it. Okay.

Speaker 5 This is not a plug,

Speaker 5 but a squatty potty will help this out.

Speaker 1 So you're going to potty train your own?

Speaker 9 This is why. This is why.

Speaker 5 Just introduce it to him and show him the commercial with the unicorn, right?

Speaker 4 And the reason is to why.

Speaker 5 I swear this ain't an addict. I use this shit.
It is what it is.

Speaker 5 We sit regular, right? And that messes up our bowel movements, right? So if he's leaning forward while he's dropping the deuce, it could be coming out.

Speaker 5 the wrong angle but the squatty potty lifts your knees to your chest and the angle is downward that's how we evolve to actually defecate so this might fix it and help both y'all maybe also like a treat system if he does it cleanly.

Speaker 4 Give emoji stickers. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like a lollipop every time he comes out of the toilet. Like, ooh, no poop on the seat.

Speaker 4 I've heard Arian talk about the squatty potty before. I've heard other people endorse it.
I think Chaps talks about it a lot. And I'll be honest with you guys, I've tried the squatty potty.

Speaker 4 It seems like

Speaker 4 a problem that didn't really need solving for me. I've never been like, there must be a better way to shit.

Speaker 1 Here's another thing you could do, real quick.

Speaker 1 Demotably wrong.

Speaker 1 What about an airport where they have the little liner that rotates?

Speaker 1 Maybe get that in your house?

Speaker 9 The what?

Speaker 1 You know, like when you go sit on an airport toilet, some of them have it where there's like a liner. It's like a piece of paper that goes, and then you hit the button and then it rotates.
Oh, gotcha.

Speaker 1 So it goes around, so it's a fresh piece of paper.

Speaker 1 That would do it right away, right? Yeah.

Speaker 10 Or maybe it's the toilet.

Speaker 9 The seat could be too small or too big.

Speaker 1 That's why the shit's sitting on it.

Speaker 1 Well, I think the top of his ass might be like sitting all the way in the pen.

Speaker 5 Yeah, that's what I'm saying, just scoot up.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 10 But there might not be room.

Speaker 1 I hate it.

Speaker 10 When there's like, like, the toilet seats are, like, only like a f foot and a half, a foot.

Speaker 1 Yeah. My feet.

Speaker 4 Also be something medically wrong with his butthole. Remember, like, those super soakers where you could turn the nozzle and then shoot your friend that was standing to the side of you?

Speaker 1 Maybe his maybe his butthole points backwards. You could also put like maybe like two footprints where he should be sitting so he scoots up.

Speaker 4 Like those

Speaker 1 teaching you how to dance. Yeah, right, exactly.
It's just like like you naturally you don't even tell him because like if you see him you'll always just put your feet in

Speaker 5 yeah and there you go also japanese toilets are are amazing i don't know if you've ever i learned that from cars too it's amazing yeah what what's a japanese toilet it's they just care uh i don't know how else to put it but like they they're angled in a certain way they're heated they're cooled you can you can they have a bidet in them like it's just the most amazing experience I've ever had.

Speaker 10 Not just even a bidet, like whole car wash.

Speaker 1 They have everything.

Speaker 5 Like it's there's a on On the side of the toilet, they have a whole system. It's like a remote, and you can do things that I haven't even tried yet.
So I'm excited to get back on.

Speaker 1 Now I want to go to Japan. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Just take a shit there.

Speaker 10 What if we get one for the office?

Speaker 5 A Japanese toilet? I'm sure you can order one.

Speaker 1 I don't think this office can handle anything nice.

Speaker 9 Yeah.

Speaker 1 It would just be destroyed right now.

Speaker 5 That's fast. Because last time I was here, I had to go to the bathroom, and they told me not to go in yet because somebody

Speaker 1 did a thing

Speaker 1 on the toilet. Yeah, no, that was a big incident.

Speaker 10 It was dumb and dumber too.

Speaker 1 Did y'all find out who it was? Yeah. Yeah, we did.

Speaker 5 Is it? Can't say the name. Got you, got you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's cool.

Speaker 1 I would like to know off-air tools. I will tell you the name off-air.
You could probably guess, too, and you'd be right.

Speaker 4 Who would you guess in this office? But don't say the name.

Speaker 1 Just mentally, everyone watching on YouTube, mentally, just think of who you think it could be, and we'll see it in the glimmer of your eye.

Speaker 5 I don't know that many people here, but of the people that I know here, I mean.

Speaker 1 You know who? I know. yeah exactly he's got it

Speaker 1 he knows okay

Speaker 5 those are all our questions oh man yeah all right well i think that was good uh arian what else you got going on i mean it's good to see you in new york yes lovely to come man i i i love the city and splices yeah great great city to visit yeah it's a good city visit i don't like to stay here too long yeah um because i like the the the the mean energy everybody has.

Speaker 5 Like, I'm a really friendly dude. And so when I walk around, I'm like, hey, how you doing? Everybody's like, fuck off.
Yeah. I like that.
You know, it reminds me. It is keep my guard up.

Speaker 1 When you go somewhere else, if you live in New York, you realize so quickly, like, you're like, wait, everyone's not just on edge and like, like, like, two seconds away from a fist fight at all times.

Speaker 1 At all times. It's a very bizarre feeling.

Speaker 4 For a while, those think pieces of people being like, this is why I'm leaving New York. Used to always go viral online.

Speaker 4 People that would just like decide to move and then they'd write an essay about it. Like, everybody wanted to know the reason why.
I saw one, now it's starting to happen in reverse.

Speaker 4 People being like, I moved to the South during the pandemic everybody was friendly now i'm moving back to new york here's why

Speaker 4 and this person was like i all the southern hospitality sucks like people are too nice i want to go for a walk and have everybody be like i'm minding my business yeah scowling yeah i want people to hate me

Speaker 10 i feel like a lot of people like leave the city not as assholes but they're assholes in other states right and then everyone's like get the hell out of here yeah everyone's mean to them in other states because they're a dickhead right yeah right then they come back with a bunch of other assholes overton window like, you're a nice guy here, but over in other places.

Speaker 5 Yeah, right.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
You are the biggest dickhead in the world.

Speaker 8 It's like when you fly somewhere and then you get an Uber and the person starts talking to you.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You're like, I just want to fucking sit in the back of this car.

Speaker 1 It's still crazy they haven't figured out it just like because I know there is like when you get an Uber driver that might not speak English and it will say like, hey, this Uber driver might not speak English.

Speaker 1 There should be the reverse where it's like, I don't want to talk. There is.
You can say no conversation.

Speaker 5 It said no conversation. You can pick the temperature.

Speaker 1 I've seen the temperature. I didn't see the no conversation.
That's Uber Black.

Speaker 4 That's if you're a high roller like Arian.

Speaker 1 That's if you played in the league. Wow.
I mean, you have the option.

Speaker 1 You have the option as well.

Speaker 4 I got into an Uber when I was in Nashville, and this lady had just pictures of dogs all over her car.

Speaker 1 Oh, even

Speaker 4 on the window. Yeah, Arian fucking hates dogs.
That's true. Even pictures on the windows of like random dogs.
And I got in. I was like, so you're a dog owner? And the lady was like, no.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 4 I just like dogs. And she started talking about her favorite breeds of dogs.

Speaker 5 A legit murderer. Didn't own a dog.

Speaker 1 Legit.

Speaker 5 That's crazy. Legit got bodies in the basement.

Speaker 1 It is funny when you get an Uber in a smaller town and it's like just the person's car and they didn't like, you know what I mean? Like it's like you picked up in like a pickup truck. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And they're like, their dinner is right next to them because they just went, they're like, I'm just going to pick up dinner and I'll grab an Uber passport real quick.

Speaker 5 Matter of fact, the Uber driver here, like I landed like at... What's like two in the morning? He picks me up and I found out he was, what was it? I told you, what's the name?

Speaker 5 Perry Winkle, not Perry Winkle, the

Speaker 9 drove.

Speaker 5 He drove into the buses, and he was a hippie in the 60s.

Speaker 1 Oh, the Merry Prankster.

Speaker 5 He was a Merry Prankster. He was a Merry Prankster.
And he starts talking to me about psychedelics and quantum mechanics and shit.

Speaker 5 And usually I don't like talking, but that was an interesting conversation.

Speaker 5 Yeah,

Speaker 1 you should read the book, the Ken Kesey Acid Discussion.

Speaker 5 That's what he was saying. He was like, you got to read the book, man.
So I googled it. So I ordered it on Amazon.
Nice.

Speaker 1 It is a good book. Yeah, Grateful Dead used to play at those concerts.

Speaker 1 At those fests where they just all did acid for days on end.

Speaker 10 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Yeah. It was a dope conversation.

Speaker 4 Different times.

Speaker 5 Yeah. Damn.
I mean, I was there.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Sure, they were different.

Speaker 1 All right, you want to pick a number? We do pick numbers. Okay.
The lottery machine.

Speaker 4 For any specific reason?

Speaker 1 You win, you get satisfaction. All right.
What if I try?

Speaker 4 You win, you have one more win than Hank. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You just get satisfaction.

Speaker 5 But how do you win those?

Speaker 1 You just pick the number, and if you're correct, you win.

Speaker 5 All right. But how do I know if I'm correct?

Speaker 1 Because we're going to do the lottery.

Speaker 9 Okay. All right.

Speaker 1 So just say a number. Oh, and you know, you're not going to be okay.
Yeah, then I hit the bottom. Oh, yeah.
And it's one through 100? One through 100. And it looks like 36 is out.

Speaker 5 So don't pick 36. All right.
I'm going to go with

Speaker 1 63. Okay.
54. I'll go with 26.

Speaker 1 6.

Speaker 10 I'll do 6 more than Ariana.

Speaker 4 11 for Evans.

Speaker 5 Are you trying to price this right five?

Speaker 1 25. 25.
No, you win 69 every time.

Speaker 1 You like this machine? I got it for $1,000 in China. I like it.

Speaker 1 I'm going to upgrade upgrade at some point. Ooh, Babe Ruth, number three.
Oh, wow. How many times, Jake?

Speaker 1 Fifth time for number to wait.

Speaker 5 How many times have you done it?

Speaker 1 Hundreds, probably. Yeah, way too many.
It's really the most pointless thing in the world. I like it.

Speaker 1 It's basically a test to see, like, can you be fascinated with ping-pong balls being chosen randomly? And the answer is yes.

Speaker 1 Always.

Speaker 5 Y'all should track it.

Speaker 1 We do. No, Jake just said.
That's the fifth time number three has been taken.

Speaker 5 So

Speaker 5 if the laws of physics are correct, it will end up looking like a wave eventually.

Speaker 11 We still have seven numbers that haven't been picked in almost two years.

Speaker 1 Wow. Really? Yeah.
Yeah. It's crazy.
That's interesting. All right.
That's the show.

Speaker 4 Thank you, Arian.

Speaker 5 Appreciate y'all having me.

Speaker 10 Lions used to exist in America.

Speaker 4 Love you guys.

Speaker 4 We're talking away.

Speaker 4 We're talking away.

Speaker 4 We're talking away.

Speaker 4 Though I don't know what I'm about to say, I'd say it anyway.

Speaker 4 Today's another day to find

Speaker 4 shy away.

Speaker 1 Oh, I'll be coming for your love of day.

Speaker 1 Oh, I've been coming for your love of day.

Speaker 1 Take on

Speaker 1 me.

Speaker 1 Take me on.

Speaker 1 I'll be gone

Speaker 1 the darkness to say,

Speaker 1 I'm once and

Speaker 1 he's coming away.

Speaker 1 Telling them why there's nothing you can say after me.

Speaker 1 It's no better to be safe than sorry.

Speaker 1 It's no better to be safe than sorry.

Speaker 1 Take on

Speaker 1 me.

Speaker 1 Take me

Speaker 1 on.

Speaker 1 I'll keep on

Speaker 1 in a day or two

Speaker 1 hard things that you say,

Speaker 1 though. Just play my worries away.

Speaker 1 You're all the things I've got to remember. You shine away.

Speaker 1 Well, I'll be coming for you anyway.

Speaker 1 I'll be coming for you anyway.

Speaker 1 Take on me

Speaker 1 take

Speaker 1 me

Speaker 1 up.

Speaker 1 I'll be gone

Speaker 1 in a day.

Speaker 1 I'll be

Speaker 1 gone

Speaker 1 in a day.