Nick Colletti, Randy Moss, Saban vs Jimbo And A Special Fyre Fest Guest

Speaker 1 Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.

Speaker 3 Falls here, kids are back in school, vacations are over, and cozy season is officially on. You know what that means? Bombus season is on.

Speaker 3 Bombus makes the most comfortable socks ever, and they even make slippers, tees, underwear, all crafted from premium materials. Perfect for this time of year and cozying up for football watching.

Speaker 3 Their slippers are also Sherpa lined, which feels like you're walking on the clouds. Bombus really has it all.

Speaker 3 And if you head over to bombas.com slash audio, you can use the code audio for 20% off your first purchase. That's B-O-M-B-A-S.com slash audio.
Code audio at checkout.

Speaker 1 On today's part of my take,

Speaker 1 a twofer for the people. We have Randy Moss, preakness picks, talking a little horse racing with him.
Then we have comedian Nick Coletti. If you are a longtime AWL, you know.
Sah dude,

Speaker 1 very funny guy, does stand-up, been in a lot of stuff.

Speaker 1 And then we have the game two recap of Heat Celtics, game one recap of Mavericks Warriors, Jimbo versus Sabin, and a very special guest for Firefest of the week.

Speaker 4 Before we get into all of that, When cool, creamy ranch meets tangy, bold buffalo, the whole is greater than the sum of its sauce.

Speaker 4 Say howdy, partner, to new Buffalo Ranch Sauce only at McDonald's for a limited time.

Speaker 2 At participating, McDonald's.

Speaker 2 No place to hang out or washing.

Speaker 2 And then I can't name all of the sounds. Oh, no, we're gonna rise down to Elite Trick Avenue.

Speaker 2 And then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 2 Oh, we're gonna rise down to Elan Trake Avenue. It's part of my take.

Speaker 1 There's another part to sport.

Speaker 1 Welcome to part of my take presented by visible.com/slash pod. Get unlimited single-line wireless for as low as $25 a month when you use visible.com slash pod.

Speaker 1 Today is Friday, May 20th,

Speaker 2 and the Celtics are back.

Speaker 1 Absolute womp of the heat in game two. Turns out Marcus Smart is very important.
He had an insane night. Al Horford.
Al Horford, Peyton Pritchard, I saw a stat before I walked in.

Speaker 1 Tied the record, I think, for Celtics plus minus in playoff games with Kendrick Perkins. Plus 41 while on the court.
And

Speaker 1 on top of all that, Hank decided it wasn't enough to beat the fuck out of the heat he also nicked

Speaker 2 so bad that jake is sick okay so let's let's set a reset of this real quick jake reset it well you guys slander the conversation because i don't i don't trust what jake's about to say you're you're saying team hank to the man that just punched you in your testicles jake yeah

Speaker 6 it was part of ready context

Speaker 6 We each picked two numbers from the machine. If you picked it correctly, you have to get tapped by a person of your choosing.
Hank got the win over the Celtics.

Speaker 6 Celtics heat stream figured.

Speaker 1 25-point win. Yeah,

Speaker 6 it made the most sense. That's what the AWLs want.
They wanted to see me versus Hank on the basketball, and I feel like it's a fitting way to end the stream.

Speaker 2 And so Hank really took a lot of time.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, Jake just dropped the laptop. He's worse than the laptop.

Speaker 2 It's because his testicle is so swollen.

Speaker 1 Down bad. Or slid right off.
Down bad.

Speaker 1 Hank, you just fucked him up so bad. You fucked him up, big cat.

Speaker 2 What Jake left out is that Hank.

Speaker 1 Is that Big Cat? Was the one that invented the machine? no

Speaker 2 hank went up there and he slapped jake with extreme malice oh my god the sound effect it was a sound of like a large man doing a belly flop from a 10 meter platform you took you took out like a year's worth of frustration with jake on that one nut slap no i love jake the best in the office thing was great it was a great clip for stool streams great promotion i had no issue with it the step over

Speaker 1 What that was fine. No issue with that.
None. None.
None whatsoever.

Speaker 1 I reviewed the tape, and for context, again, we did a whole live stream. This was part of it.

Speaker 1 Every single quarter, we drew numbers, and somehow, after the second quarter, Arya, the producer who was also in the room, he got his number chosen.

Speaker 1 He asked Big Cat to hit him in the nuts, and Big Cat his first time went too soft and missed, and it was awkward. And it was like, all right, well, I have to do it again.

Speaker 1 So, that was kind of in my head where I was like, I obviously don't

Speaker 1 want to hit him in the nuts, but I don't want to have to hit him in the nuts twice.

Speaker 1 I wish I hit him less hard, but I also don't know what I was supposed to do in that situation. I had to hit him in the nuts.

Speaker 2 And Hank's saying that he did you a favor by just

Speaker 1 hitting this house. I plead not guilty.

Speaker 2 And so Jake hits him.

Speaker 1 But guilty for hitting him in the nuts. So not guilty for hitting him too hard.

Speaker 2 But then now, Jake.

Speaker 2 Like, Hank is apologizing to Jake, and then Jake is apologizing back to Hank.

Speaker 1 I'm also low-key mad at Jake because I think he just put a curse on the Celtics.

Speaker 1 You're part of it, too.

Speaker 6 It's part of heating five cards.

Speaker 1 No, I

Speaker 1 definitely don't. You do apologize.

Speaker 2 Hank, how are you saying that Jake put a curse on the Celtics? He could have chosen anyone. By you hitting him.

Speaker 1 Because he asked, he could have chosen anyone in the room, but he chose me.

Speaker 2 This is text textbook abusive behavior from Hank right now.

Speaker 2 He's making you feel bad, Jake, about what he did to you.

Speaker 1 When reality, it should all be big hat. If anyone should feel bad, this organization is a good one.
Agreed,

Speaker 1 I literally told Jake that if he can't have children and he wants to later on in his life, I will fuck his future wife. That's a very nice thing for me to do.
That's true. I mean, I guess that's true.

Speaker 1 I'm a hero in this situation.

Speaker 1 Back to the game.

Speaker 1 I'm good if everyone's good. I'm great.
I am sorry.

Speaker 2 I don't think you're good.

Speaker 1 That's okay. We want attention in this series, and now we have it.
If you want to call me a puppet master, that's fine. We want attention.
We have it.

Speaker 1 The Celtics, that was a crazy performance, though. 20 for 40 from three.

Speaker 1 They were insane.

Speaker 1 I just saw the stat they had on Sports Center. It was like the fifth largest road win in the playoffs of any team ever.
Crazy, crazy win. Are they all the way back, Hank? Because

Speaker 1 you were scared because of game one. Like, game one shook you.
They were up 20 in the first half. I was like, this game's over.
And you're like, don't say that, don't say that.

Speaker 1 But it felt like they had control from literally, I think it was 21 to like 14. And then the Celtics went on a 17-0 run, and they never looked back.

Speaker 1 I mean, the Celtics, if you really look at it, have had control for most of the series. So, yeah,

Speaker 1 I felt super- Only won two quarters tonight. I felt super, super confident about the Celtics in the first half of the first game, and then it all fell apart 39 to 14.
So,

Speaker 1 it would be fucked up and

Speaker 1 bad of me to be like, oh, this game's over. We have this in the bag in the first half, no matter what the score is, because that third quarter of game one was scarring.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Make or miss league. It was a whomping.
It was straight up a whomping tonight. And what's crazy is I was looking at the plus-minuses too.

Speaker 2 Peyton Pritchard, they just adjusted his stat line, by the way.

Speaker 1 To 39.

Speaker 2 To 39. So Kendrick Perkins remains untouched.

Speaker 2 If you look at the plus-minus on the heat,

Speaker 2 Gabe Vincent only minus three on 24 minutes. Tyler Hero also played 24 minutes, minus 33.

Speaker 1 Oof.

Speaker 2 So that tough night for a boy Tyler.

Speaker 1 I like doing plus minuses too because it tells you that Omer

Speaker 1 Yurtsevin. Yurtz seven.
Yurt seven? Plus plus seven. He should have been

Speaker 1 all night. He should have been it all night.

Speaker 2 Yeah, six minutes plus seven. That's efficiency.

Speaker 1 That's great in a loss like that. But yeah,

Speaker 1 this was a true whomping. I guess we'll see.

Speaker 1 Like, I expected the Celtics to come out and play really well tonight just because they're a very good team and it doesn't feel like it feels similar to the Bucs series where I think this will go back and forth.

Speaker 1 I think we're going to have a six or seven game series. I think this will go back and forth.
I think the Heat will win one game in Boston. Like both these teams are very good.
You know what I don't?

Speaker 1 You just bet on the team that lost the last time.

Speaker 2 I don't want it to be back and forth, but in blowouts both ways.

Speaker 1 No, I agree with that. Yeah, tonight was boring.
It was very boring. And Wednesday night.
Wednesday was very boring. Yeah, we can talk as well.
Wednesday was very boring.

Speaker 1 I mistakenly thought that Luca drinking a beer at 11 a.m. before the game was a good sign for the Mavericks.
Turned out it was not. The Warriors...
Also, no way that was true.

Speaker 2 Yeah, the Mavericks said that it was from another day.

Speaker 2 I choose to believe that it's true.

Speaker 2 My problem is not with the beer i think if you're if you're from eastern europe you should be able to drink a beer like instead of gatorade during the game and that would be fine yeah but this is like the sunset the sons video you see the sons video of them dancing in the like hallway but and everyone was like i i was like oh this is before game seven they were like goofy dancing yeah i don't like that yeah but my problem is not with the beer my problem was he had a hookah oh no it was hookah donchich and that's not good that's not good for the lungs before a game um

Speaker 2 Huka Donchic's nice. You think that's going to stick?

Speaker 1 I don't know. I didn't even see the hookah in there.
That's definitely somebody on Twitter.

Speaker 2 Somebody on Twitter is Hukadonchic.

Speaker 1 Yeah, oh, for sure. Yeah, without a doubt.
Without a doubt. But yeah, that game was a blowout as well.
The Warriors.

Speaker 1 I actually think that series will be a competitive series because it's similar to what happened to the Mavs in the last round, where the Suns look like the Mavs had no answer for them for the first two games.

Speaker 1 And the Warriors have had moments in this playoff run where they have looked like old school warriors and then they have had nights where it's like what the fuck no one can like dribble everyone's just throwing it around clay sucks it was good though to see steph get like his full swagger back yeah he did one shimmy like all the way down the court yeah he just didn't stop shimmy he wasn't even that incredible from three but it was he hit one of those threes where it was like this is not a good shot for anyone in the world except for Steph Curry.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but when he's hitting those shots, it's a great shot. It's actually the perfect shot that you draw up for him.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 2 I don't think, I hope that that series isn't going to be blowouts every single time. Although, if it's going to be a late game, I'm okay with it being over at halftime.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 If it's going to be like a 9.30 tip and it's over by 11, I'm totally cool with that.

Speaker 1 I also think it's just, it was very similar to the Heat Celtics game one, where it's like

Speaker 1 you have the team that just won an emotional game seven, and obviously it was a blowout for the Mavericks, but that has to be such an incredible feeling to beat the best team record-wise in the NBA on their home court by 40.

Speaker 1 Then you have to turn around and play the Warriors.

Speaker 1 It was essentially all the Mavericks role players that played out of their fucking mind against the Suns in that series, the end of that series, didn't show up. And that's what you get.

Speaker 1 We get back to Luca needs more help.

Speaker 2 Well, they shot like, I think it was 20% from three or something like that, which if Luca's going to play Luca Ball in the second half and the fourth quarter, you have to have guys that are hitting shots earlier in the game to give him that luxury.

Speaker 2 Right. because he can't, it can't be Luca versus the world when you're down 10 points, right? Or you're down 14 points.
Yeah, you have to keep it within single digits and then let Luca cook.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so I mean, that was yeah, two blowouts back to back, but that's okay. Well, I think we're gonna get some good weekend games.
What do you, what even is the schedule? What time's a game on Sunday?

Speaker 6 Every game is one day off both series.

Speaker 1 Oh, fuck.

Speaker 6 So we got a game every day.

Speaker 1 Hello. Get it going, NBA.
Yeah, finally, right? Hockey.

Speaker 6 Except the hockey now is doing back-to-back 8:30.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Celtics or Saturday prime.

Speaker 6 I think every game is 8:30

Speaker 1 for all seven. Yes.
Maybe 9 p.m. for less.

Speaker 2 Are they going to continue to screw over Southern Florida by scheduling every game at the same time?

Speaker 6 No, but six of the seven games are together, except they've made the Panthers Lightning play a back-to-back because of a Kane Brown concert in Tampa.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 2 disgusting. They want back-to-back.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm good. Thank you for checking in.

Speaker 6 They do a back-to-back in Tampa as if that team hasn't had experience playing late into the postseason. Couldn't be a conflict.

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 There was also another all-time moment on the stream featuring Jake, which is his beloved Panthers lost in literally the last second of the game.

Speaker 2 They ended up adding a two-second addition to the clock. But at the time, they got scored on with 0.9 seconds left.
And Jake saw it happen, and his reaction was perfect. It was like, what was it?

Speaker 1 Oh, no.

Speaker 2 And they started smiling immediately after because he knew.

Speaker 6 It was like a smile of shock, though.

Speaker 2 It was a smile of shock, but also a smile.

Speaker 1 Actually, happy.

Speaker 2 Also a smile of like, what a moment of sports. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's crazy.

Speaker 1 That was a wild moment of sports. You score a goal, a game-winning goal with a second left.

Speaker 1 That's wild.

Speaker 6 Yeah. If it wasn't the Panthers, it would have been the same exact tone, just, oh, wow, instead of, oh, no.

Speaker 2 Oh, wow, it was good. Oh, no, bad.
Got it.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's get to the rest of the show. We got some Sabin and Jimbo coming up.
A great discussion.

Speaker 1 And then we'll have Randy Moss, Nick Coletti, and make sure you listen to Firefest because we have a very special guest on Firefest this week.

Speaker 2 are sure to score big and help me elevate my entertainment every time, whether it's for a tailgate or a home gating celebration. Seriously, guys, it's a game-changing flavor for every gathering.

Speaker 2 Boarshead, committed to craft since 1905.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 World War III broke out today in the college football world.

Speaker 1 Actually, I should say it broke out on Tuesday night when Nick Sabin decided to hit the nuclear button, and then Jimbo Fisher decided on Wednesday to hit his nuclear button, so they both destroyed each other.

Speaker 1 I'll give a little background for anyone who maybe isn't tuned in to the college football world. Nick Sabin on Tuesday night

Speaker 1 does a, it was like one of those meet and greets that college coaches do where they basically go and talk to people for an hour, you know, get some donor money. Nate Oates was there.

Speaker 2 It's kind of like they go talk to some of the biggest donors in the area, guys that are boosters, guys that buy a lot of season tickets.

Speaker 2 And it sounds like Nick Sabin was kind of like subtly hinting to them, hey, if we want to be able to compete long term, maybe start paying these guys some more NIL money.

Speaker 1 And so, I heard from someone on the ground, too, that essentially the regular event went normal.

Speaker 1 And then after their Q ⁇ A happened, it almost felt like Nick Saban didn't realize that all the media was there, even though they all have cameras and it's like, there's the media. So,

Speaker 1 Nick Saban said about recruiting. I mean, we were second in recruiting last year.
A ⁇ M was first. A ⁇ M bought every player on their team, made a deal for NIL.
We didn't buy one player, all right?

Speaker 1 But I don't know if we're going to be able to sustain that in the future because more and more people are doing it. It's tough.
This is like,

Speaker 1 to put it in perspective, coaches just don't do this.

Speaker 1 This doesn't get done where you actually name another school and another guy out loud and say, they're cheating.

Speaker 2 I could see Lane Kiffen doing it.

Speaker 2 Even outside of Lane Kiffen.

Speaker 1 Even still, Lane Kiffen actually responded today. He said, for the first time in my life, I have no words.
So, which is words, but whatever, or I'm speechless.

Speaker 1 It's it's like one of those things that all of them complain to each other and to complain to journalists behind closed doors off the record, but they never outright say that guy cheated, he bought all his players.

Speaker 1 And it's clearly Nick Saban, like, where's the motive? Oh, he actually said it to you right

Speaker 1 in the first line. He said, I mean, we were second in recruiting last year.
They were second, so he's mad. Nick Saban doesn't like to lose.
Yeah, he lost on the field, too.

Speaker 2 He lost, he lost to Jimbo Fisher. And this is, I think it was just him being like, hey,

Speaker 2 we need to do exactly what Jimbo is doing, but we need to do it better. That's, I think, the message that he was sending.
But then it got interpreted as like, he named names, and so you don't do that.

Speaker 2 You said World War III, I'd say, like the Civil War, if both sides were the South. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And then Jimbo was Jimbo was like emergency press conference tomorrow morning, and Jimbo showed up and just he opened up the kimono.

Speaker 1 Oh, he went torch earth, by the way.

Speaker 1 It's not even World War III. It's not even Civil War.
It's buyrnr.com because these are two West Virginia boys.

Speaker 1 So, Jimbo and Nick Saban, both from West Virginia, that you should buy rnr.com because when West Virginians fight, there's nothing like it tonight. Tune in.
PFT will be there.

Speaker 1 I'll be on the call doing the anthem. Uh, PFT's got his secret thing coming, which is going to be great.
So, this is this is this is basically

Speaker 1 our rough and rowdy in college football. But, yeah, do you actually have it, PFT?

Speaker 2 Oh, it's being shipped there.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay, yeah, special delivery. Let's, let's, let's hope it gets there.

Speaker 2 Now it's officially built up so big that everyone's going to be pissed off.

Speaker 1 Well, you could do it. Well, no, because

Speaker 1 you bleeped it so it could be anything.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but now that we're talking about it again, now people are going to be like, oh, that's what it is?

Speaker 1 Whatever the coolest thing is.

Speaker 2 Why did they spend half of every episode of part of my take talking about it?

Speaker 1 Well, whatever the coolest thing that happens tomorrow night, you can be like, that was it. That was my thing.
I brought that knockout. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So Jimbo Fisher, he said

Speaker 1 in response, yeah, like you said, PFT, he called the press conference, which is just a hilarious move.

Speaker 1 It's stone cold. Like the glass shatters, like 10 a.m., media availability, see you there.

Speaker 2 What just happened was they're essentially drug dealers, and they both know that the other guy is breaking the law. Oh, shit, that guy has illegally registered firearms.
Yeah, no shit, everybody does.

Speaker 2 That's what we do in this business of ours. This is our thing, La Cosa Nostra.

Speaker 2 And then Jimbo.

Speaker 2 He saw Saban run his mouth, and now it's a snitching situation.

Speaker 2 So if you're going to be the first guy that snitches, then I'm going to snitch on you.

Speaker 2 So, what Jimbo Fisher essentially did, this is all, by the way, indistinguishable from an episode of Real Housewives, except they just happen to be football coaches.

Speaker 2 This is the guy's version of Bravo.

Speaker 1 Actually, it's actually, they're more direct than Real Housewives because usually, Real Housewives, it takes till the reunion show for this stuff to happen.

Speaker 1 Real housewives, they'll say shit to the camera behind, like, without anyone seeing. They're just going direct at each other.
Yeah, so Jimbo. You're going fucking shot for shot.

Speaker 2 So, Jimbo didn't really say anything concrete to pin Nick Saban down, but he did allude to a lot of stuff. And you know why?

Speaker 2 He alluded to it because a lot of the stuff that Nick Sabin was doing was when he was at LSU, when Jimbo Fisher was also there, he's intimidating himself and didn't have a problem with that.

Speaker 2 Correct, but he was like, he referred to Nick Saban as God. Yeah, so he's not.
And that's going to be tough to get people to disagree, especially people in Alabama.

Speaker 2 Like, Nick Saban is pretty much God. He's probably above God.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 And he was like, if you're going to call a guy God, you might,

Speaker 2 the quote was, go dig into God.

Speaker 2 Excuse me, I'm trying to get this right. Go dig into how God did his deal.
You might find out about a guy like God a lot of things you don't want to know.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 You can read the Old Testament.

Speaker 1 He went crazy.

Speaker 1 He also said, we never bought anybody. No rules were broken.
Nothing was done wrong.

Speaker 1 It's despicable that a reputable head coach can come out and say this when he doesn't get his way or things don't go his way. Ding, ding, ding.
That's that part, Jimbo's right. That's 100% correct.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 side note, like, there's a reason why it's not only Texas AM because they had the number one recruiting class, they also have one of the wealthiest alumni bases in budgets and all those things.

Speaker 1 Like, in terms of teams that can compete with Alabama, they're a significant threat to Nick Saban going forward. But he went on to say the narcissist in him doesn't allow those things to happen.

Speaker 1 The parody in college football he's been talking about. Go talk to coaches who coach for him.
You'll find out all the parody.

Speaker 1 Go dig into where he's been. You can find out anything.
This is my favorite part.

Speaker 1 And it's a shame you've got to sit here and defend 17-year-old kids and families and text A ⁇ M because we do things right. We're always going to do things right.

Speaker 1 I love when coaches bring in, they're just kids. Listen,

Speaker 2 we're here to turn young men into adults. And what you're doing to the grandmothers and the mothers of these young kids is despicable.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he said, I hate it for our players who are coming here, who did things the right way, have done things right that way will continue to do things the right way and then

Speaker 2 also in this nick saban put a couple ricochet shots at her boy deion yeah and oh yeah and named names and was like hey at jackson state they're getting some recruits that they're paying money for listen nick Deion Sanders did not pay a nickel.

Speaker 1 Did not pay a nickel.

Speaker 2 We, on the other hand, paid $2.5 million in a new Chevy Corvette to get them their recruiting.

Speaker 1 Like I said, I said to Jack Mac, who does a great job with unnecessary roughness, where do you think the pile sale goes to?

Speaker 2 It's Travis Hunter. It's going to Travis Hunter.

Speaker 1 It's Travis Hunter. But

Speaker 1 one last thing with Jimbo, because I want to talk about the Deion part. Jimbo also

Speaker 1 has completely debted Nick Sabin. He said he got a phone call from him.
He said, we're done. He didn't pick up.
He showed you who he is. He's the greatest ever, huh?

Speaker 1 When you've got all the advantages, it's easy. You coach with people like Bobby Bowden and learn how to do things.
You coach with other people, learn how not to do things.

Speaker 1 There's a reason I ain't went back and worked for him with opportunities. Don't want to be associated with it.

Speaker 1 Now, he is, there is like, because remember, Sabin left LSU for Florida or for the Dolphins. Jimbo stayed.
Sabin came back. Jimbo didn't go with Saban when he came back.
He didn't go to Alabama.

Speaker 1 He went to Florida State. So there is at least like a point in Jimbo's career where you can point to it.
Like he probably could have returned to Nick Saban and he decided not to. Either way,

Speaker 1 it really is like mutual destruction because Jimbo's essentially saying he cheats and if you start to dig into it, I cheated too.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we all cheated. Right.
Yeah, no shit. You just don't talk about the cheating.
Everything was copacetic in college football when we just ignored the fact that everyone was cheating all the time.

Speaker 2 Let's go back to that era.

Speaker 2 I actually like, I like the structure and the format of where we're at in college football now where like you can cheat, but the players are also getting more of the money that goes along with the cheating.

Speaker 2 Just cheat. Do whatever the fuck you want.
No one care. The NCAA is not the cops.

Speaker 2 And right now, this has turned into essentially if the SEC had an East Coast and a West Coast rap beef from back in the 90s, that's what we're into right now.

Speaker 2 Like, this is pretty close to, I've already got it set in my calendar right now to observe the handshake.

Speaker 2 Will there be a handshake?

Speaker 1 How about the SEC Media Day? And now, knowing how the SEC runs.

Speaker 1 and how Greg Sankey runs everything, they'll probably kiss and make up behind closed doors because that's just the SEC has it figured out that like we all are together because we just beat the shit out of everyone else.

Speaker 1 Like at some point, you can't have the infighting because then everyone snitches on everyone, everyone gets investigated because that's the best part about this is like the NCAA has to at least pretend to investigate both Alabama and Texas A ⁇ M after this.

Speaker 1 You know who got off

Speaker 2 scot-free with all this? Tennessee. Yeah.
Tennessee got off scot-free because they just landed that recruit from California with an $8 million NIL deal.

Speaker 2 And that didn't get brought up one time in this. So, right now, up in Knoxville, they're like, thank you.

Speaker 1 That's actually offensive to Tennessee that they don't see

Speaker 1 Saban doesn't see him as a real threat. That's bad.

Speaker 2 And that's the subtext in all this that's kind of like bubbling under the surface is Nick Saban's looking at the recruiting rankings, and he's like, why would every 17-year-old in the country want to spend four years in College Station?

Speaker 2 Correct. That just doesn't add up unless there's millions of dollars involved.

Speaker 2 Which, for the record, I agree with him about College Station is the creepiest place on earth.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and they also, there's like kids from all over the country where it's like, how does a kid go from California to college station? How does a kid go from Philadelphia to college station? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Those things, yeah. But so the Dion part, and I have a theory now.
I just think Sabin either is sneaky too online himself or someone close to him is too online because the Dion allegations,

Speaker 1 Sabin even said like it was printed in the paper. No, it wasn't.
It was literally a rumor that was made up by mad Florida State fans.

Speaker 2 It's a message board rumor that got started because they were pissed off that their guy got away and that Deion Sanders, their alumni, took him away.

Speaker 2 And then somebody online with an account, probably like a power user, a guy that's got like the fourth biggest tailgate party at Florida State, he went onto the message board and was like, that's barstool money.

Speaker 2 And now everyone's like, it's been reported.

Speaker 1 Right, it's been reported. And then the same thing happened with the Jimbo thing.
Now, Jimbo obviously gets the number one class. There probably has been a lot of NIL number money.

Speaker 1 But remember, Jimbo in a press conference in January called out a message board. I think it was a Bro Bible article.
It was a comment section of Bro Bot. He literally quoted it.

Speaker 1 He was like, some guy named Sliced Bread.

Speaker 1 So either that's Saban or someone know, like someone in Saban's camp is Sliced Bread, the username, because all these things that Saban is saying are just, they're things that are just floated out on the internet where you can find, you can find anyone bashing any program at any point.

Speaker 1 Also, they're like, they're Aflac boys. Yeah, Dion and Deion and Saban.

Speaker 1 That was my first reaction, too. That's kind of a crazy move.
Now,

Speaker 1 I love Deion. I love Coach Prime.
He's our guy. We'll back him till the end of the earth.
But with all that said, he's on the clock because he's doing a little bit of LeBron Q ⁇ A.

Speaker 1 He was like, I will address these. I'm waiting for it.
He had a great idea.

Speaker 2 I would like to see it.

Speaker 2 I mean, the graphic that he put out when he said, I'm about to address it, it was just, it was a video of Deion and said, like, I will be addressing Nick Sabin's comments at some point soon in the future.

Speaker 2 I think if I know Deion, he wants to go just absolutely scorched earth and turn on like preacher mode. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Because he can get into preacher mode and start talking about the Lord, and then Nick Saban's not going to have shit to come back with.

Speaker 1 I just need him to do it. I don't want to wait.
I want him to just do it because whatever he says, I'm going to back 100%.

Speaker 1 I don't care whether we have Deion's back. But this whole thing is just so awesome because it really is.
This is not done. Guys don't do this because, like you said, everyone cheats.

Speaker 1 So when you start airing out everyone's dirty laundry, like when Nick Sabin said,

Speaker 1 we don't buy players at Alabama, guess what? Now people are going to start looking a little bit closer. And you saw Nate Oates probably squirm next to him when he was at that event.

Speaker 1 He's like, wait, what do you mean by we?

Speaker 2 We don't need to look at anyone closer.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like relax.

Speaker 2 Yeah, to go back to the war analogy, Billy's not here right now, so I'll just hop into Billy's brain real quick on this one. Low-key.
Low-key.

Speaker 2 Low-key in this one, nick sabin is like putin they're both like two he's almost dead old short guys that they they kind of bit off a little bit more than they could chew on this one because they're old and they're irrational actors low-key low-key so nick sabin is like he's he's invading the ukraine by pointing fingers at jimbo fisher but he's not going to like the backlash from like the international community of greg sankey yeah also you throw in something like low-key if any of these schools want to give me some money like low-key, I'd take it.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 so what are we, what are we ordering for dinner? Yeah, what are we ordering for dinner? We're going to miss those for while he's gone. He's gone for a barstool show, by the way.

Speaker 1 I did appreciate Billy. I'll explain it during Firefest because there's some funny things.
Okay, all right, so tune in for a bit. There's a good story behind it.
Yeah. Okay.
All right. So save this.

Speaker 1 I'll save this for Firefest. So, yeah, either way, it's awesome.
It's great to like the SEC always has us, you know.

Speaker 2 It just means more.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it really don't. Like, the SEC just has a way of getting the whole entire internet riled up.
And

Speaker 1 it's crazy that Nick Sabin did this. And then it's also not crazy because he's a really sore loser.

Speaker 1 And he's been pissed off for probably months that he not only lost to Jimbo, but he lost again to him in recruiting. And like, I think Alabama is going to be just fine.

Speaker 1 Nick Saban talking about parody was one of the funniest things ever because like, dude,

Speaker 1 I think he's lost like 25 games total in like 15 years at Alabama.

Speaker 2 That's basically the the reason why he left the NFL after one season. Because too much parody.
Because there was too much parody. Yeah, right.
He fucking hates parody.

Speaker 2 He wants his oligarchs to be doing well, and he wants to just smash everybody else.

Speaker 2 Jimbo and Sabin, the war that they've started between each other, the fans are going to take the next step.

Speaker 2 The fans are going to start doing the digging before the NCAA gets to it. So you talk, was it sliced bread? Slice bread.
Look for sliced bread.

Speaker 1 I got to try to find the card.

Speaker 2 I'm surprised that sliced bread. Like, Nick Sabin doesn't seem like a bro Bible guy.
He seems like a chive guy.

Speaker 1 I don't know, but he KCO.

Speaker 5 Listen, he roll tide.

Speaker 2 All right, here we go.

Speaker 1 I found it. I found it.

Speaker 9 And I say it's insulting to the kids who come here that you insinuate that. And people insinuate that off a that things were taken off a message board.

Speaker 1 Bro Bible by a guy named Sliced Bread, whoever the heck that is, who has no clue about what goes on. But NIL is here to stay in comments.

Speaker 1 So yeah, that's Jimbo commenting on sliced bread back in February.

Speaker 2 Sliced bread's got, like, what a day for sliced bread.

Speaker 1 It's the best. internet comedies are powerful man.
Expect ours they are they and they especially when it comes to SEC message boards and and any any talk of NIL being abused.

Speaker 1 It really the the end of this discussion comes down to

Speaker 1 it's it's fun everyone's you know hand-wringing what's gonna happen with college football. You know what's gonna happen?

Speaker 1 It's gonna be fine because essentially we just open the floodgates in like over one

Speaker 1 year and no one knows how to deal with it. And eventually people will know how to deal with it.
Like everyone's saying, NIL, what's going to happen? Transfer Portal.

Speaker 1 I don't know, maybe because no one, like everyone in college athletics is in the past, and then they changed all the rules like overnight, and no one knew how to deal with it.

Speaker 1 And we're going to have this period of time where everyone accuses everyone of cheating.

Speaker 1 And then in five years, we're going to be like, you know what, this is good because kids get paid and we're good.

Speaker 1 And, you know, I've always thought that when it comes to like alumni paying for players,

Speaker 1 like an investment on an 18-year-old is not a great investment.

Speaker 1 And eventually, rich people are going to be like, the rich alumni are going to be like, I don't want to pay millions of dollars every single year. Well, it's going to be level out.

Speaker 2 It's going to be the super rich alumni that they treat being a booster like the team is their play toy. Correct.

Speaker 2 And so at some point, if you've got like 50 million in the bank, spending $500,000 a year out of your own pocket might be worth it if you win a championship.

Speaker 1 But I've always thought like rich guys who

Speaker 1 if they spend $500,000 on an 18-year-old to come to their school and then that 18-year-old transfers, the next $500,000 is going to be a little harder to get out of their pocket. Oh, for sure.

Speaker 1 Because they don't like to be rich guys don't like to give up money.

Speaker 2 For sure.

Speaker 2 It's going to, the, the coach that figures it out is going to be the coach that just like, you know, probably a younger guy is going to figure out exactly how to deal with the NIL stuff and be like, listen, we can all break, this is the purge right now.

Speaker 2 You can break all the rules that you want because there's no enforcement mechanism behind it.

Speaker 1 And then five years from now, they'll come and they'll be like, hey, all that stuff that you have already done, that's now illegal if you were to do it again right but right now is the time the best cheater is going to win and i'm convinced that if the the first school that actually hires a true gm who has like who treats it like a salary cap will be ahead of everyone yeah where it's like this is our salary capoleon every year next year our salary cap goes down because you know there's not as many contributions whatever it may be and you treat it like professional sports it probably will work yeah bill pulling um he relates to the youth yeah he does that's why i brought up youth of america should we talk a little pja championship our guy max had a hot start.

Speaker 1 He had a hot start. Let's leave it at that.

Speaker 2 He had a great start. He had a great start.

Speaker 1 What an awesome start. Allergies ruined his day.

Speaker 2 No, but that's fine. You know what? Allergies are the mark of a healthy body reacting to poison in the air.
So, Max, great job. Your body's doing well.

Speaker 1 We're going all positive.

Speaker 1 No, we're going all positive. Oh, yeah.
I mean, if you're allergic to it.

Speaker 2 Like, I'm not allergic.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 6 I told him to stay away from the nut spray.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That would be dangerous.
I mean,

Speaker 1 we got you giving him tips about allergies. We're in trouble.
We're fine. Max don't listen to this part.
I mean, how we're fucked.

Speaker 2 It's just very cool that if Max were to win this tournament, like the Oklahoma headlines out there. Every newspaper in America should be required to make that their headline.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but he's still in there. Rory's in first.
Our guy, Will Zalatori is in second. He's in there.

Speaker 1 Brooks is in. There is a loose place.
He's in Oklahoma, right?

Speaker 1 He's in the field. Also, I didn't realize, but is there...

Speaker 1 I had a tweet last night that I responded. I was like sitting on the couch.
The game was a blowout. And I was responding to a couple tweets, and someone was like, Do you guys not like Brooks anymore?

Speaker 1 And I was like, No, we love Brooks. We actually, he was going to come on Masters Week, but our schedule didn't work out.
I didn't know that people thought there was like a beef. No, I know Dave has

Speaker 1 after the Brooks thing happened. I don't think we've had him on since then.
No, but we could

Speaker 1 have Brooks on Rice. Listen, if all of our persona non grata for for him.

Speaker 1 I talk to him all the time.

Speaker 2 If we took every enemy Dave had and applied that to our show, we would not have any guests ever.

Speaker 2 So with Brooks, we're still on good terms with Brooks. We don't want to spend a lot of time talking about if he didn't play that well.
He's obviously injured still and dealing with a lot of stuff.

Speaker 2 His body.

Speaker 1 I can't believe he's fighting this off.

Speaker 2 It's crazy what he's doing right now. Yeah.
So shout out to Brooks for being in the field today.

Speaker 2 Despite the fact that the allergies are so bad, Brooks went out there and didn't complain a single time about it. Nope.
Nope. So that's just the kind of guy he is.

Speaker 2 Also, he mint, I want to give Max some credit for mentally alphaing Bryson DeShambo and getting him out of the tournament before it even started.

Speaker 1 That's how it started because I said, because when Bryson was out, I said, like, let's go, Max. Everyone's like, what, you don't care about Brooks anymore? I was like, no, Bryson is paired with Max.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's why I'm commenting.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he got Bryson out the paint. Right, right.

Speaker 1 So he's going to, he'll be just fine.

Speaker 2 There's another thing that happened that was kind of crazy that I haven't seen in a long time. Gooch.
Gooch hold a shot out of the bunker, the greenside bunker.

Speaker 2 And when I say he hold the shot, the ball landed in the cup. Yeah, it was a switch.
And jump bounce. It was a swish.
You don't see a swish that often in golf.

Speaker 2 Like, I don't think I've ever seen a swish, especially off the tee. Is that even possible in like a par three?

Speaker 1 You don't watch it up, dude.

Speaker 2 Perfect. Ovie could do it.

Speaker 1 Dude, dude does it all the time. They swish it? Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's fucking sick. And John Daly led for like 25 minutes.

Speaker 2 And he smoked 21 cigarettes on the course.

Speaker 1 Wait, was that? I saw Will Brinson, a friend of ours. He was talking about, he followed him in 2008, so that might have been why.
It went reviral.

Speaker 2 It went reviral because I saw like Sports Illustrated or a website like that posted that exact clip and they said this was today.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so he, I don't know if it was today, but Will reposted his, he had followed John Daly back in 2008 and he posted his stats from following him.

Speaker 1 He said he meticulously watched like every movement. And John Daly had 18 holes, 21 cigarettes, 12 Diet Cokes, six packs of peanut M ⁇ Ms, and zero ounces of water.

Speaker 2 That's awesome. So that was back in 2008.

Speaker 1 Which could have been 20 years ago.

Speaker 2 I'm sure that John Daly had at least 21 cigarettes today.

Speaker 1 Yes. But yeah,

Speaker 1 and Will also said that John Daly,

Speaker 1 quote, said he doesn't like the taste of water.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Join the club, man.

Speaker 2 Diet Coke, by the way, Diet Coke, if you drink 12 of them over a four-hour period, I think unless you've weaned yourself into drinking Diet Coke, if you just get, Jake, you don't drink Diet Coke, right?

Speaker 8 Correct.

Speaker 2 If I gave you 12 Diet Coke in the course of four hours, I think you'd probably die.

Speaker 2 I think that would kill you. Yes.

Speaker 2 All those chemicals. It's like dip.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's the exact same thing.
That's a whompest. No, it's more dangerous than the 21 cigarettes, easily.

Speaker 2 Yes, for sure. Yeah.
Just ask Donald Trump.

Speaker 2 Trump, I mean, when he goes off on Diet Coke, that's when he's at his best. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Diet Coke. That's okay.

Speaker 2 I'll keep drinking that garbage.

Speaker 1 Okay, anything else?

Speaker 1 Hockey was awesome.

Speaker 1 The Battle of Alberta is sick. That second period on Wednesday night was absolutely incredible.

Speaker 2 I feel bad for Rangers fans out there.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that missed goal, that fucking

Speaker 1 wide open shot, and they don't close it out on the Kanes. And the Kanes scored with like two minutes left and one in overtime.
Brutal.

Speaker 2 Yeah, good for memes, though. He was psyched.
Yeah, good for memes.

Speaker 1 Good for memes. Okay, let's get some interviews.
We got Randy Moss giving you preakness

Speaker 1 picks, and then Nick Coletti, saw dude,

Speaker 1 full circle, like six years in the making for pardon my take in studio after Randy Moss.

Speaker 1 Let's do it.

Speaker 2 We're gonna get right back to the show.

Speaker 1 What's up, guys? It's Big Cat here, making my Irish entrance with proper number 12 Irish whiskey. How do you make an Irish entrance?

Speaker 2 You ask?

Speaker 1 It starts with a shot of proper number 12 Irish whiskey because real friends don't let friends Irish exit a party without a story to tell.

Speaker 1 Original proper number 12 is rich in a smooth blend of golden grain and single malt. Age four years in bourbon barrels.
Mix it up with some ginger ale for a classic and refreshing proper ginger.

Speaker 1 In the mood for something smooth but a little sweeter, try proper Irish apple, a delicious blend of proper's award-winning Irish whiskey with crisp, fresh notes of apple.

Speaker 1 So get out there and make your Irish entrance. Anything else just wouldn't be proper.

Speaker 2 All right, back to part of my take.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 it is time for the preakness, and we have our good friend Randy Moss back on. Let's not talk about the Kentucky Derby picks because whatever.
Let's just leave that in the past. I do want to have.

Speaker 9 I busted everybody big enough to carry money, basically, is what I did for you guys.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but

Speaker 1 let's at least talk about the Kentucky Derby winner, Rich Strike, not racing in the preakness. First, can you...
I was trying to give

Speaker 1 a good analogy for what it was like for this horse and this trainer and this barn, everything to win that race. What was the analogy you used for like in football terms or any other sport?

Speaker 9 You know, I tried to come up with an analogy for

Speaker 9 football, and there's really not one because

Speaker 9 there's much more parity in the NFL, I think, than the chance that this horse had going into the Kentucky Derby.

Speaker 9 I'll tell you how shocking it was to me. Okay,

Speaker 9 I am 100%

Speaker 9 anal when it comes to preparing for these races, especially a race like the Kentucky Derby. I mean, we talked to every trainer.
We talked to some of the owners. We talked to quite a few of the riders.

Speaker 9 I mean, we're ready for anything to happen. 20 horses in the Derby, 19 of them we reached out and talked to.
One, we didn't. And that, of course, was Rich Strike.

Speaker 1 Wow. So lesson learned.
Yeah.

Speaker 9 Lesson learned. I mean, he only got into the race on Friday.
So, you know, there is an asterisk there,

Speaker 9 but it was a

Speaker 9 complete and total shocker that Thetverse was able to win her.

Speaker 2 Bulletin board material for Rich Strike. He was like, no one even wanted to talk to me.
No one wanted to learn my name before the race. I'll go out there.

Speaker 2 I'll prove the haters wrong. So after the Kentucky Derby, I'm always curious because I don't really know anything about horse racing.

Speaker 2 How long does it take for the horses to recover from that one race?

Speaker 2 Like, are they, is there training, or do they like kind of slow off on the training for the next couple of days, the next week to let them recover from that strenuous event?

Speaker 2 Or is it just like, okay, back in the routine?

Speaker 9 The answer to the second part of your question is yes. After a race like the Kentucky Derby, they'll take it easy on the horses for a little while, even the ones running in the preakness.

Speaker 9 Their philosophy is after they've trained up to the Kentucky Derby, they've run in the Kentucky Derby, whether they've won it or competed. They're fit, they're ready.

Speaker 9 So you don't have to do a whole lot between them. Just keep them happy between the Derby and in the two weeks to the preakness.

Speaker 9 In terms of how much it takes out of the horses, it depends on the type of race they had. It largely, mostly depends on the individual horse.

Speaker 9 Some horses are knocked for a loop and it takes them five, six weeks to recover. Some horses look like they could run two days later, you know.

Speaker 9 Rich Strike is a horse that apparently came out of the race okay and had some energy, but they felt, and they even said this before the derby.

Speaker 9 They felt like his best races began to come when they gave him a lot of time in between races, and that's why they didn't want to come back and run in the preakness in two weeks.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, it stinks, it takes a little bit of the allure away.

Speaker 1 I'm still going to watch, but I, I, yeah, unless there's an injury, I think the horse should have to race, but that's neither here nor there.

Speaker 1 Uh, when you're talking about the triple crown, so what PFT just said, there's the preakness, seven out of nine of the horses are off two or basically raced two weeks ago there's some that raced in the oaks and other races uh that weekend how much of an advantage is it for the two that are uh you know fresh legs they're they haven't raced you know in the last couple weeks do they have just a big advantage over everyone else because i remember last year i'm pretty sure rombauer hadn't had had a nice rest beforehand as well it's definitely an advantage biquette it is uh the reason why trainers say they don't like to come back in two weeks into preakness is because they believe it's counterproductive for the horse, for their energy level, for their overall future, right?

Speaker 9 So, Ergo, it stands to reason that the horses that have more time than that will benefit from it. And you saw it with Rombauer, as you pointed out.
We've seen it quite a few times over the years.

Speaker 9 The only caveat there,

Speaker 9 it is, for example, a horse like Early Voting. who ran his last race in the Wood Memorial and skipped the Kentucky Derby to be ready for the prequeness.

Speaker 9 They did the same thing, the same connections with a horse named Cloud Computing in 2017, and it worked. He was fresh.
He came in, he won the preakness.

Speaker 9 But what you have to look at, yes, it's an advantage, but typically the best horses run in the Derby. So you get horses that are fresh that come into the preakness

Speaker 9 and they have that edge, but they're not good enough to take advantage of it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. And it brings up a similar point with Epicenter, who will be the favorite on Saturday, who on paper should kill everyone in this race because

Speaker 1 his three fastest races are faster than anyone else. But is there going to be a wall that he hits where it's like, hey, at some point,

Speaker 1 it will kind of regress a little bit here.

Speaker 1 Do you handicap that at all? Do you try to predict a regression wall coming for a horse like Epicenter, who is faster than every other horse in this field?

Speaker 9 Typically, at this level, when you get horses that run run well in the kentucky derby uh like the kentucky derby winner i mean they have a really strong win percentage coming back in the preakness it's it surprises a lot of people when historically you look and and and see how well the derby winners hold their form despite the two-week gap coming back in the preakness it's then after that

Speaker 9 where you get the problem right it's the two weeks and then Now the next race, if they have to come back in the Belmont, or they need a lot of time generally after those two tough races back to back so I expect epicenter to run his his usual race I agree with you I think that he stands out in the field on paper but a horse like early voting would have an edge

Speaker 9 he'll he's he'll probably set the pace epicenter should be right behind him and early voting does have the edge of uh of rest having not run since the wood memorial So that will help his chances.

Speaker 9 The Philly comes off a really good race in the Kentucky Oaks. She'll get some play.

Speaker 9 I think there's going to be about four to five or even money.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 you allude to the Philly Secret Oath.

Speaker 2 If you were to pick one of the triple crown races that Phillies tend to fare the best in, would it be the Preakness?

Speaker 9 Yes.

Speaker 9 We haven't had a Kentucky Derby,

Speaker 9 a Philly. that's won the Kentucky Derby since winning colors in 1988.
Before that, it was genuine risk in 1980. Before that, you had to go way back into the teams, like regret.

Speaker 9 So, you know, you don't, it doesn't happen very often. But we saw Rachel Alexandra, for example, beat the boys in the

Speaker 9 preakness. I think that was 2009,

Speaker 9 very impressively. But I do think that the preakness is usually a better race for Phillies.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think it's

Speaker 1 I think it's six times a Philly has won the Preakness, which is more than the other two. So

Speaker 1 now, in terms of the price for a Philly, for people who don't know horse racing, Philly is a female horse.

Speaker 1 It usually does float up on race day.

Speaker 1 Do you think there's a little bit of value in a Philly at the Preakness, who when you sit there on Saturday and you're watching the price float up, you're like, hey, this horse is really good.

Speaker 1 People are just not betting it because it's a Philly.

Speaker 9 She's gotten so much publicity because of her Kentucky Oaks win and

Speaker 9 because of Wayne Lucas. And she's run against the boys before in the Arkansas Derby, right before the Oaks.

Speaker 9 Yeah, I don't think, I kind of doubt that her price is going to float up that much just because she's a Philly.

Speaker 9 I think she'll be a good price simply because Epicenter, in my opinion, is going to be four to five or even money. Yeah,

Speaker 9 and that's going to drive the price up on everybody else. So I think she'll probably be six to one or so by

Speaker 1 the time they open the gate.

Speaker 2 Maybe once the square bets start to come in on Saturday morning and it's all the Johnny come lately's and their internalized misogyny, then the price goes up a little bit.

Speaker 2 And then we strike, then we're the new girl boss.

Speaker 9 Yeah, all the jacks out there betting on happy jack, right?

Speaker 1 Yes, yes, exactly. I mean, good point.
It's a real thing. We can maybe get a nice price.

Speaker 2 Is there a different? Um, so we, we say like sharps and squares all the time when we're talking about you know, sports gambling.

Speaker 2 Is there an analogous term to horse racing for like some jackass that doesn't know what he's doing versus a guy that really knows the ponies?

Speaker 9 Yeah, dumb money. That's what is

Speaker 9 what it's been called in horse racing forever. You got the wise guys who know what they're doing, and you got the dumb money.

Speaker 9 And what, what's interesting in the whole arc of of of thoroughbred racing is that you know back in the uh i'm getting real deep into the weeds here but back in the when the real heyday of horse racing the 40s and 50s 60s even 70s there wasn't a lot of options for people that wanted to gamble right vegas wasn't really vegas if it was for the rat pack maybe but it wasn't that you know commercially available to most people to jump on a junket and go to las vegas uh lotteries weren't really in existence i guess if you lived in a big city and you you want to play the numbers on the street, you could.

Speaker 9 But for the most part, anybody that really wanted to gamble went to the racetrack. So there was a, and a lot of people like to gamble.
So there was a lot of dumb money being bed in horse racing.

Speaker 9 And it was possible to do really well if you were a horse player that knew what you were doing and really, really paid close attention.

Speaker 9 Now, in third grade racing, one of the challenges for betters, for big bettors, is that a lot of that dumb money has been siphoned away. They're playing slot machines at the casino, right?

Speaker 9 Or, you know, they're playing the lottery or they've got so many other options to scratch their gambling itch instead of horse racing, which requires a lot of work, a lot of homework.

Speaker 9 So now you get wise guys betting against wise guys and horse racing predominantly. And it makes it a lot tougher for those people who try to do this for a living.

Speaker 2 I think sometimes people get intimidated by the racing sheet. Like, I remember the first time time I went to a horse tractor, I was like, that looks like you're asking me to do my taxes.

Speaker 1 I don't want to do paperwork, I want to make money.

Speaker 2 You know, like there's a machine right over here. I can press a button, a wheel spins, and then music plays, and then coins come out.
That's a lot.

Speaker 2 Like, I am the dumb money that you want betting on horse racing. Just like if you

Speaker 1 simplify, simplify

Speaker 9 one of the challenges in horse racing right now. You just nailed it.
People don't even want to pick their own lottery numbers for crying out loud.

Speaker 1 They do quick pick. Exactly.
And

Speaker 9 now you're asking them to decipher all of this stuff in the racing form and you know i i will say the people that do try to learn this and really make an effort uh to study horse racing and and try to figure it out you'd be surprised at the percentage that get hooked on it that hooked is probably a bad word they don't become compulsive gamblers but they really they really uh develop a fondness for the sport and they become and they become big fans but the problem is just getting past that initial hump of getting people to want to spend the time to learn about the sport and how to bet.

Speaker 1 It's also, I think there's an intimidation factor of just how, yeah, like the actual bets themselves. People don't usually know how to do exotics, which make it a lot of fun.

Speaker 1 The reason why I love horse racing is there's something about the rhythm to, all right, we're going to go to the track all day. It's race.
It's 30 minutes looking at the full, you know, the sheet.

Speaker 1 It's race. It's like that rhythm is something just, you know, it's just a great way to spend seven or eight hours where you're, it's just like, all right, here comes the next race.

Speaker 1 Here comes the next race. And you have those 30-minute gaps in between where you can have a drink, but you're also studying for the next one.
It's just, it's a lot.

Speaker 1 It's a great day to spend a summer afternoon.

Speaker 9 I agree. And time flies when you're doing that and you're really into, you know, studying and all that.

Speaker 9 And whereas if you play the stock market or something like that, you know, you got to wait a while or let's say you even bet a football game. You got to wait three hours to see if you win or lose.

Speaker 9 Horse racing, you get a verdict every half hour and you move on.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So you get a lot of action that way.

Speaker 9 It is about

Speaker 9 casino action, fast and furious, but,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 9 there's a certain allure to it, the pace. I agree.

Speaker 1 All right. So let's talk Little Friday.
Black Eyed Susan. You'll see Randy Moss on TV.

Speaker 1 We need some picks or any race that you like because we're going to take them.

Speaker 1 You've never steered us wrong two times in a row.

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 1 you can't blame you for the derby because I think everyone was like,

Speaker 1 who the hell was that horse?

Speaker 2 Was there any actual analyst out there that said, like, keep your eye on Rich Strike? This horse could make some noise. I know no one's talked about him, but I like him.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 No. Yeah.
It really was no. I knew one guy who bet it, and it was one of our security guys, and he

Speaker 1 bet it, but then I looked at like his hand. He had every single horse.
So I was like, all right, well, I mean, it's a good hit, but you also had every other horse.

Speaker 2 I I feel like Eddie O would show up after the race to be like, I actually had him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I had that guy. Yeah.

Speaker 9 Yeah.

Speaker 9 Well, there, there is, uh, there was somebody on our uh NBC announcing crew whose wife was at the Kentucky Derby who went up to make a bet on number two and accidentally made a bet on number 21 and wound up uh wound up in the chips.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 9 So that turned out to be pretty well,

Speaker 1 you know, that's awesome. That's a free throw thing there.
Yeah.

Speaker 9 That's it's either people just blindly betting on the longest shot on the board, or it's people that kind of fall into it that way.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no,

Speaker 1 the guy I know who bet it, he went up and the teller was like, the only horse I haven't seen bet all day is number 21. He's like, all right,

Speaker 1 put 20 bucks on it. Yeah.
So that's the exact same way.

Speaker 9 Exactly.

Speaker 9 To me, I think I'll give you a horse that I like in the Black Eyed Susan.

Speaker 9 It's a local horse, a Maryland horse. You don't get that many of those that win the preakness with the Black Eyed Susan.
Her name is Luna Bell. She's won five races in a row.

Speaker 9 And because she is a local horse and the out-of-towners are coming in, you might get a slightly better price. You might get four to one.
You might get nine to two.

Speaker 9 She's the second choice in the program line right now. Now, as far as other races, here's what I'm going to do, right?

Speaker 9 Whereas at the Derby, we knew who was going to run a couple of weeks out. The preakness, we didn't really know until the entries came out and the past performances came out Monday night.

Speaker 9 So on some of the undercard races, I'm still trying to formulate who I like and who I don't like, but I'm going to text you, big cat.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 9 I'm going to let you know. All right.
When we get a little closer to zero hour,

Speaker 9 and then maybe you can share it with your millions and millions and millions of followers.

Speaker 1 I will tweet it out. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We're going to be on a flight for an hour on Friday. So as long as we can, I think we'll be okay, but I will absolutely, I'm going to play the horses both days.
So I will absolutely tweet it out.

Speaker 1 Actually, let me ask you this real quick. You know, this is my last question, but you have kids.
My daughter turns one on Saturday. I think there's going to be a birthday party.

Speaker 1 I know there's going to be a birthday party.

Speaker 1 There's something about having horse racing on at a one-year-old's birthday party that probably isn't the best look. How would you manage that when your kids were young?

Speaker 9 Take your phone into the restroom.

Speaker 9 at frequent intervals. People will think you've got some sort of a problem with your bladder, but

Speaker 1 yeah it's probably the best way to do it i've i've actually been in that same position and that's what i did yeah because it's it's um you know my job is to watch sports so when we have you know family over friends or whatever and there's a football game on they're like oh okay you're doing your job something about horse racing people look at it and they're like what why are you yelling at the tv at noon on a saturday it's like all right that's a little bit harder to explain

Speaker 9 Now, when you go into the bathroom and suddenly people hear you shouting and then you come out, they'll look at you kind of sideways.

Speaker 2 Yeah, just make sure to wipe your nose a lot right when you get out of the bathroom. That should go over really low.

Speaker 1 I think I just got to go with what always works: if I win, then you don't have to apologize. Because if you win, you can have horse racing on all day.

Speaker 1 And if you're if you're cashing tickets, no one can say anything.

Speaker 1 That's a good point.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you can also be like, look, you love ponies. Look at the ponies on the TV.
Aren't they pretty? Look at the pretty ponies.

Speaker 1 Root for the Philly in the preakness. There you go.
Yeah.

Speaker 9 Get the kids involved, right?

Speaker 1 Yes, yes.

Speaker 2 I got one last question, and this is probably a very dumb question, but do horses ever get endorsements and sponsorships from like athletic company? Like, has a horse ever been sponsored by Nike?

Speaker 9 No,

Speaker 9 I don't believe so. Riders have, and I know there have been some owners that

Speaker 9 have pursued that sort of thing

Speaker 9 as far as succeeding to any great extent. No.

Speaker 9 But riders now, you notice they have all sorts of emblems and logos and all that on their on their riding pants and they'll be wearing the ball caps and things like that so the jockeys take advantage of that way more than the horses do i just feel like that's the next step for for sports marketing that's how you get the kids interest is you you put a swoosh on the back of a horse and all of a sudden they're like oh i recognize that logo i like that horse Or like NASCAR, just put stickers on the horses as they're racing, right?

Speaker 9 You've got one on one side and one on the other side.

Speaker 2 Yeah, sponsor the horses. I like that.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It would be very funny, Muggsy jeans on the horse's ass.

Speaker 1 Well, Randy, thank you.

Speaker 1 Good luck. And I'm looking out for that text.
So I better get that text. And

Speaker 1 I will tweet it out so everyone has it.

Speaker 1 We'll say, I'm going to tweet it out 10 minutes before whatever race it is. So people have to be ready to go so that we don't, you know,

Speaker 1 I think people trust you so much that if I tweet out a Randy Moss pick,

Speaker 1 we could be betting like a one to two, and that would would suck. So

Speaker 9 you're going to tweet it out from the bathroom at your one-year-old's party.

Speaker 1 Yes, right. Exactly, exactly.
Just regular dad stuff, no big deal.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 All right. Well, thanks so much, Randy.
And everyone tune in Friday and Saturday. Randy will be on TV.
We'd love to see him there. And thanks again, Randy.
See you, Randy.

Speaker 10 The Pro Football Football Show is presented by the Chevy Silverado. Built for the hustle, ready for the game.
Chevy Silverado is America's most dependable full-size truck.

Speaker 10 Whether you're grinding through the week or gearing up for kickoff, the Silverado is one ride that's always game ready. Just like football, it's about grit, grind, and getting it done.

Speaker 10 Head to Chevy.com to learn more and build your own Chevy Silverado.

Speaker 2 And now here's Nick Coletti.

Speaker 9 And now for something completely different.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest.

Speaker 1 He is a star on the internet. He's done TV shows.
You are, I mean, you are a Vine star. That's what started everything, which we want to get into.
He's also a stand-up comedian. It's Nick Coletti.

Speaker 1 People who are on the internet definitely know who you are. People who don't should because you're absolutely hilarious.
And welcome to the show. We got to start, though, with, I got to thank you.

Speaker 1 I got to thank you. You don't even know that we're going to thank you, but I'm going to thank you.

Speaker 1 So this show, we've been doing this show for like six years now. PFT and I are a little older.

Speaker 1 These guys, the producers, Liam and Hank, are a little younger.

Speaker 1 And the first moment where I was like, I got to start listening to these guys when it comes to like trends and things online so that I can kind of keep, not young, but at least know what's going on, was saw dude.

Speaker 1 It was. It literally was.
Like, they were like, you guys got to watch this kid. He's so funny.
That's awesome. And so thank you.
I appreciate it because

Speaker 1 it was, it reaffirmed that they know what they're talking about and you are hilarious. Thank you.
I appreciate that. So can we I'm not that funny.
Well, look, can we talk about how that came about?

Speaker 1 The phenomenon?

Speaker 1 Are we allowed to like swear and talk about crazy shit? Yeah, fuck anything you want to say.

Speaker 1 We were just stoned. It's pretty much it.
Yeah. Sick.

Speaker 1 People think there's like this, yeah, this like formula to it, but it really was just like a high thought. Yeah.
Just acting stupid, smoking.

Speaker 8 Say no more.

Speaker 2 Like I get it. Like we've all been there before.
My problem is sometimes when I have these high thoughts and I like, I start cracking up and I'm like, oh man, this is so funny.

Speaker 2 The second I say it outside of that immediate room that I'm in, outside of that same crew, I realize like, wait a second, I was just really high. That's not actually that funny.

Speaker 2 But like in this case, it transcended it.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's the weird thing about the internet. It's like sometimes it all just, the stars align and Sudude was born.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So was there a moment where you were like, wait, this is actually picking up and people are using like idiot podcasters that are in their 30s or talking about it?

Speaker 1 We literally posted the video and then the next morning I woke up and my friend was like, dude, it has 3 million views. It is Vine, right? Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Getter. He was the other component of Sudud.

Speaker 1 Who's also part of Real Bros as well?

Speaker 1 From there, it just totally went crazy. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I miss Vine, man. Me too.
I'm sure you do.

Speaker 2 Vine was one of those things that was almost too beautiful to have.

Speaker 2 You look back on it, you're like, it was so pure. You had to be funny.
And people, like, there was a lot of hate on Vine stars, I think, at the time.

Speaker 2 There were some ridiculous human beings that got famous off Vine for sure. Yeah.
But

Speaker 2 the fact that people were able to produce content that had to have a beginning, a middle, and an end and be engaging and entertaining within a six-second time period was actually good for creativity, I think.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, just that parameter kind of forces you to do stuff that you normally wouldn't try. Because

Speaker 2 it's restricted. What's your all-time favorite vine?

Speaker 1 My all-time favorite vine has to be. There's one that Casey Fry does.
It's like a there's two. There's an Evan Breen vine and a Casey Fry vine.
Yeah. That I love.

Speaker 2 I like the one. I actually think me and Big Cat made a vine out of the same moment, which was Jim Harbaugh talking to Jameis Winston about sex.
He had a sex problem. He was addicted to sex.

Speaker 2 He's a sex addict. He's a sex addict.

Speaker 1 He's a sexer. Is he a sexer? He is.
He's a big-time sexer. Are you still friends with Casey Fry? Yeah.

Speaker 1 And what's Hank, you just asked? Because Hank is a big fan of yours as well. No, I was just going to say, like,

Speaker 1 I love his dancing videos. And, like, obviously you guys are boys like do you ever like you know practice with them like yo i should i should maybe start doing some dancing videos like

Speaker 1 i haven't i leave the dancing to casey i uh i've asked him for a couple i'm like hey how do you do the moonwalk and he'll like help me out with that but and he obviously like dances all the time yeah he's just like a dancing guy like because he makes it you know sometimes you're like he doesn't look like a dancer but then he's obviously like this dude practices dancing he does he'll like go to the like like the studio he treats it like he's great great dancer yeah he's transferred he trains in the studio yeah one thing i i always was curious about your your vines because they're so funny and you can watch them on youtube there's compilations i think i saw a compilation that was like three hours long which is 15 second videos three hours of them um but six seconds or six seconds yeah six seconds i was thinking uh what was that's

Speaker 1 correcting people 15 seconds was his instagram stories yeah yeah and i think tick tock's 15 seconds yeah yeah right right so six seconds and uh a lot of them are you by yourself

Speaker 1 would you do a lot of your comedy where you're not around other people? Like, do you, I, I, like, I like being around other people.

Speaker 1 So whenever I'm not around other people for a long time, it's like, oh, I don't, you know, I'm trying to look for like bounce off ideas and everything. How are you able to do it just by yourself?

Speaker 1 I think it's, I think it's balanced, like exposing yourself to

Speaker 1 like a lot of people, like real life just situations just to, I mean, you need shit to make fun of. Right.
So, but then you can,

Speaker 1 you know, seclude yourself, be alone, and just kind of like let loose. That was all when I lived at my parents' house.

Speaker 1 I was like eight, between 18 and like 21. So and just making the vines every day.
Just like waking up and making like I'd make like three every day.

Speaker 2 It's funny because like I'm more of a, I guess like I can tell if I'm writing something. I can tell if it's funny if I'm writing it.

Speaker 2 But if I'm like doing a video, I can't tell just by like I need other people to like see it to know like what works and what doesn't.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm the opposite of it. Like I cannot write at all.

Speaker 1 So you just, you'll watch a video that you shoot and it'll like, will you laugh like before you upload it i'll like if it gives me like a chuckle or i'm like haha like even that is just enough to be like all right i'm gonna post because 90 of the time you post something that you think is hilarious and it gets no love yeah then you post something that you think is just not funny at all and it like like saw dude like i didn't think that was gonna be a thing at all um so it's really just like kind of trial and error what's the weirdest you know you you were living in hollywood at that time right in la what was the weirdest like agent or someone who came up to you and was like, let's market Sawdude and do this, this, or this with it?

Speaker 1 They

Speaker 1 actually, I don't really know if there was that. I think we were going to do a vape juice brand deal,

Speaker 1 which I'm so glad that kind of didn't go through. But I think that was the extent of like, we made merch.
That was. Right.

Speaker 1 We made a bunch of merch. I just imagine some Hollywood agent being like,

Speaker 1 let's make a

Speaker 1 tour movie about this. Sawdude World Tour.
Yeah. Yeah.
Right. It was

Speaker 2 Saudude Cereal.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Sudude cereal.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. That actually sounds pretty good.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Frosted sus.

Speaker 1 Frosted dudes. That's sus as hell.

Speaker 1 That's funny.

Speaker 2 Are you uh you're a big mushroom guy, right?

Speaker 1 I am.

Speaker 2 Like actual mushrooms, yeah. Like, I don't know, I don't want to put words in your mouth, but like mushrooms that you find and forage for them.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So I, uh, this is like a recent thing.
I, I moved back to the East Coast, and my cousins are all very into like foraging. So this is so funny that I'm like so into this.

Speaker 1 But I just like totally got into it. Like there's these specific mushrooms, morels.
They're like hard to find. So we just go and look in the woods, smoke Delta 8.
Yeah. Find mushrooms.

Speaker 1 Try to find mushrooms?

Speaker 2 Where do you look for mushrooms? Where are they?

Speaker 1 They are around dead or dying elm trees.

Speaker 2 This is like... No, I'm interested.

Speaker 1 Yeah, definitely.

Speaker 2 This is what the podcast is about.

Speaker 1 I mean, not a lot of people can walk in here being like, yeah, I just go look for mushrooms.

Speaker 1 They're very hard to find.

Speaker 1 like well not hard to find they're they're pretty they don't look like any other mushroom but they're rare so how many times you found them i've found them twice and are they do they taste great they taste delicious really they're amazing like do you eat everything that you find or do you sell them i eat i definitely don't sell them yeah that's like the most sustainable organic thing you could eat right yeah you picked it yourself i have a dumb question there when you pick the are they that like trippy mushrooms after you find them or are they just normal no they're just like they're called delicacy mushrooms So like you just cook them up with butter you can put a fucking steak steak's good with them when you hit when you've when you found the jackpot of finding them like have you gone back to that spot or like no really because you just like I Pillage the whole right supply like it's all they're all gone.

Speaker 1 Could you theoretically grow them yourself? Yeah, you could but it's not the same. I mean the hard

Speaker 1 part of it. Yeah, yeah.
Me and my cousin go in the woods throwing a Zen. Yep.
I have my Delta 8 pound. That sounds awesome.
You want a Zen? I got one. Yeah.

Speaker 1 What's the three or six? It's a six. Okay.
Is that cool? I haven't done the six. So,

Speaker 2 I'm a three or two. I go to this store that's right across the street almost every day.
I get my Zen, and the guy in there bullies me every time. I go in, he's like, Are you up to the sixes yet?

Speaker 2 I'm like, no, just the threes.

Speaker 1 My cousin said they sting.

Speaker 2 They do sting a little bit. Last time I went in there, the guy took out the threes.
There was a woman in line in front of me.

Speaker 2 He saw me come in, took out the threes, handed them to the woman in line in front of me, and goes, Here you go. And she goes, I didn't ask for that.
He goes, oh, yeah, my mistake.

Speaker 2 The threes, they're for for him.

Speaker 1 He works for Big Z.

Speaker 1 He works for Big Z. Yeah.

Speaker 2 But he throws his in.

Speaker 1 He's sick, yeah. Hit the woods.
And this is around Pittsburgh, right? Around the berg, yeah. Yes.
And it's like, it's very hilly and all that stuff. It's prime time right now for morale.
Really?

Speaker 2 I watched a documentary about mushrooms a couple months ago. That's like the oldest thing that I've ever said.
I could not be more watched. Just in the show after I said that sentence.

Speaker 5 Can't recover from that.

Speaker 2 But it was actually like fantastic because this dude was talking about how mushrooms grow on the earth and how they actually act as the earth's central nervous system.

Speaker 2 And they can like feel seasons changing and like temperatures changing, and they actually help the earth adapt to it. This guy might be full of shit, but it like absolutely tripped me out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I was actually on shrooms when I found the Morels.

Speaker 2 So I think they can, I think they can speak to each other.

Speaker 1 Whoa, shit. They like work through you in a mysterious way.
Are you sure?

Speaker 2 Are you sure that you found Morels or was this all just like one big

Speaker 1 trip? No, it was definitely, definitely found them. I definitely

Speaker 1 at the moment though, I was like,

Speaker 1 is this peaking too hard? Like, is this

Speaker 1 actually happening?

Speaker 1 But they were good. Picked them up.
What, what made you move away from LA back to Pittsburgh? I, uh, I was just kind of like,

Speaker 1 I lived kind of by Malibu, um, by the beach, and no one else, none of my other friends lived there. So it was like super lonely.
And I was just like, fucking, I'd rather be around my family.

Speaker 1 So my whole family lives in Pittsburgh. You could have just moved closer to your friends.
Right.

Speaker 1 But I only had like two friends anyway that I actually really

Speaker 1 Casey. Yeah.
And then my homegirl from Pittsburgh, Cassie. Okay.
Casey and Cassie. Oh, wow.
That's cool.

Speaker 1 It's easy to remember.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Is the vibe like completely different in California?

Speaker 2 Were you somebody that moved out there and like you were able to like I don't know, adjust to it or you immediately dug it or is it just kind of like the Hollywood phonies? Is that a real thing?

Speaker 1 Yeah, for sure. And I think I have a pretty good read on, I mean, being from the East Coast, like, you can kind of call bullshit, I think, better than most people can.
So,

Speaker 1 like, my whole thing is, like, out here, like, you bump into someone, you're like, hey, fuck you, then it's over. Like, LA, you bump into someone, and then they fucking email you

Speaker 1 a list of reasons why they need to understand why. It's just a totally different vibe.
Yeah. East Coast, I like the pace out here

Speaker 1 a lot better. The pace out there was weird.
It felt like purgatory or some weird fucking shit. It does feel like you're not living with the rest of the world when you're in LA.

Speaker 1 There's something about community, is I think the word. There was really no sense of community.
That Zen is kind of fucking you up, huh? Yeah, absolutely. You could just get them moving around.

Speaker 1 I saw you do the move around move where you're like, No, let's try it over here. Yeah, I'm getting it.
I'm getting it all around.

Speaker 2 That's the sixes.

Speaker 1 Fuck. All right, well, I guess I have to have one if we're all back to it.

Speaker 2 Zen party.

Speaker 1 God damn it. White Zincho.
Wait, so

Speaker 1 you're going to have to move, you're going to have to be back out to LA for hopefully the last season of Real Bros, right? Yeah, I mean, that's the great thing about the internet and shit.

Speaker 1 You can be remote. I don't have to be anywhere.
I can catch a flight and go to LA whenever I need to work.

Speaker 1 I mean, that's one of my favorite shows. I mean, we had Jimmy on, I don't know, three years ago the first time.

Speaker 1 And I think the first time we had him on, we pretended that we had watched it, but we didn't watch it. And then afterwards, I watched it, and I was like, holy fuck, this is the funniest thing ever.

Speaker 1 I wish I had watched it before he first saw it.

Speaker 1 We've had him on like five times since then, but that show is so goddamn funny. Yeah, he killed it with that shit.
And

Speaker 1 yeah, him and Christian went above and beyond.

Speaker 1 So I asked him, because he's from LA, and a lot of the show, I think, goes against my fears.

Speaker 1 I have fear of like California teenagers.

Speaker 1 Is that a real thing? Like, when you see teenagers in California, you're like,

Speaker 1 he's do a 360. He just walk the other way.
They just live life way faster than everyone else. Right.
It feels like. Yeah.

Speaker 1 They're like skateboarding at four right yep right having sex at like 12 right they have hats that cost more than my entire wardrobe bored with weed by 14.

Speaker 1 yeah they're already on to like yeah mdma right right do you like do you're already on a kratom

Speaker 1 have you gotten into kratom no kratom's the worst i haven't done it but i've heard uh it helps you do your homework faster oh does it really i think it's like a focus aid i don't know about that really

Speaker 2 all? So I did.

Speaker 1 I tried like half of a bottle.

Speaker 1 Oh, there we go. We're tapping out.
Can't hang. I had to tap out.
I already feel. I'm buzzing super hard.

Speaker 2 I tried like half a bottle of it last summer and I sipped it. It tastes disgusting.
And then after I was done with it, I was like, there's no way that this should be legal. Like, this is just...

Speaker 1 Did you feel high?

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. You feel like if you've ever had like wisdom tooth surgery, they give you the Vicodin or the Perkins.
No way.

Speaker 1 That's how it feels?

Speaker 2 It felt like I was on opiate, and I was like, this is, there's no way.

Speaker 1 Do they sell Kratom around here? Yes. Oh, okay.
Do you know where?

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 2 But I don't want to tell you because I don't want to get you hooked on the stuff.

Speaker 1 Crate it out?

Speaker 2 Yeah, dude, it's a bad scene.

Speaker 1 I,

Speaker 1 yeah, my homegirl one time was like, we were going out, and she was like, take this. And I was like, what the fuck is that? And she was like, it's Kratom.

Speaker 1 And I was like, I'm good. I don't need that.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's weird. Like, I feel like there are all these new designer drugs coming out recently that are just like extremely

Speaker 2 similar to drugs that we know are illegal, but just like they change one molecule and then they wait for the FDA to be like delta of 10.

Speaker 2 Yeah, Delta 10.

Speaker 1 Sorry, it's gone.

Speaker 2 You should just make Delta 8 like your own version of it, but just call it Delta 9.

Speaker 1 Well, Delta 9 is actual weed. Oh, okay.
Oh, got it. That makes sense.
So 8 and 10 are like the loophole.

Speaker 2 But 9 is the real shit. Delta 20.

Speaker 1 If you make delta 20,

Speaker 1 fuck it. Delta 100.
Oh, damn.

Speaker 2 You just outsold the weed.

Speaker 1 Now, do you miss California weed? I'd imagine. It's good, but I mean, I know people who can get good weed in Pittsburgh, so

Speaker 1 I'm not tripping. Plus, I really don't, like, smoke.

Speaker 1 I feel like when I was smoking in California, I was like trying to prove a point. Like, I fucking smoke weed.

Speaker 1 Now I'm just like, yeah,

Speaker 1 I like it. Like, I like to smoke.
An appropriate amount. Right.
It's like a mature,

Speaker 1 a mature interest.

Speaker 2 As you get, like, through your 20s, weed stops becoming like your defining personality trait and it becomes just an activity.

Speaker 1 Well, it's a fork in the road. It's like, is this going to be my entire personality train? Yeah.
Yeah. Or is it going to be just an activity? Am I going to be at the 311 tribute band

Speaker 1 backstage? Am I going to be in this yes?

Speaker 1 Because I feel like you hit a point in your 30s where if you're going to be the weed is my personality guy, you just have to only hang out with weed is my personality guy. Right.
You have to own it.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You just have to be around those people all the time.

Speaker 2 How many 311 tribute bands do you think there are that are called 420?

Speaker 1 And they just use that same font.

Speaker 2 Yes. Probably like 100.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That'd be sweet.

Speaker 1 311 tribute band just sounds.

Speaker 2 honestly sounds like an awful night.

Speaker 2 There's certain tribute bands that I could go see and suspend disbelief for nights. Yeah, like a prince tribute band would be awesome.
I went to go see a queen tribute band one time. Nice.

Speaker 2 And the singer was incredible. Sounded like Freddie Mercury.

Speaker 2 That was an awesome evening, but like a 311 tribute band, I feel like that's what would make me reconsider some of my life choices. Yes.

Speaker 1 Yeah. If I found myself there, spiked hair.
Yeah. The dude looks just like SA.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 So you're on a stand-up tour tour right now. I am.
You're not with like a whole crew. I'm not.
So you just go, like, your dates, you're going. I'm looking at your website right now.

Speaker 1 You're in New York right now. If you want to see Nick, he's going to Iowa, Nebraska, Kansas City.
You're going everywhere back to New York. So you're just traveling by yourself? Yeah, I just do it.

Speaker 1 You just show up.

Speaker 1 I kind of like that. Yeah.
We've had some comedians on and like they have other packages. They're ground crew.
Yeah, right.

Speaker 1 That's cool, but I mean, I'm, I'm, my dad's always like, just be like an F F 14, F 16 pilot, F F 14 pilot, like just solo.

Speaker 2 F 16, F 14 has the Rio Navy. Alexander just

Speaker 2 F 16 single-seater.

Speaker 1 But I've really found that people are distracting and most of the time let you down. Yeah.
So I'm just like, I'm just going to do this myself.

Speaker 1 I don't want to have to worry about people like fucking up their boarding pass because it's always stupid shit like that. It's never like.
So it's been good.

Speaker 1 I, you know, waking up at odd hours of the day. Do you have friends in every one of these cities or no? Are you just some of them? You're just...

Speaker 1 that's i kind of like that yeah going to explore a city by yourself it's like a tourist yeah for the first it's i've seen like pretty much all of america and it's fucking like a blessing favorite place underrated that people don't think of oh god

Speaker 1 i don't know

Speaker 1 there's a lot of places like that uh texas was really cool because i always had this like um

Speaker 1 like image of what texas was going to be like and i went there and it was totally fulfilled like hats fucking people just had gun like everyone had a gun yeah

Speaker 1 You kind of like that when your stereotypes are confirmed. Yeah, you're like, wow,

Speaker 1 everyone has a gun here. This is sick.
Everything is bigger. Yeah.
Everything's huge. Everyone had a truck.
I swear to God, everyone had a truck.

Speaker 2 Everyone's got a truck and they have like the state of Texas flag on everything.

Speaker 5 Yes.

Speaker 1 But I love that. I was like, this is great.
This is great.

Speaker 2 The boots are a real thing, too.

Speaker 1 I've got a pair of cowboy boots in Denver. Okay.
So I'm first pair, not in Texas.

Speaker 1 What other places, like, you went and you're like, yep, this is.

Speaker 1 Seattle was really cool. I like Seattle, the Pacific Northwest.
Yeah, yeah, you got that's good. I know, I'm like so bad at that shit, but uh, that was cool.

Speaker 1 Everywhere's like you hear all these stories about parts of America being like weird, or like pretty, pretty much everywhere is like people just want to like

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 everywhere's pretty normal, like everywhere, yeah. I also have a theory that if you go to a place and it's

Speaker 1 oh shit, Zen got me, yeah, I swallowed it, last man. Swallowed it.
Oh, he swallowed the spit.

Speaker 1 Oh. He swallowed the packet.
He swallowed the baggage.

Speaker 1 That's not good. It's a medical emergency.

Speaker 1 I'm good. Oh.

Speaker 8 Go, PFT. Fight through it.

Speaker 1 Fight through it, Pigat. Oh, I think I swallowed the baggage.

Speaker 2 When did you realize that you were funny?

Speaker 1 I still don't think I'm funny. I think I make myself laugh.
Yeah. But I don't think I'm like objectively.

Speaker 1 like a hilarious person.

Speaker 2 So do you ever like go to shows and you're like, why are you guys all here?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, there's definitely like a sense of the whole imposter thing. Are you

Speaker 1 gone? No, it's gone. Okay.

Speaker 1 You swallowed it? Yeah, I think I'm pretty. I'm pretty sure I swallowed it.

Speaker 2 That's good. Jesus.

Speaker 1 It's good for your digestive system. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Do they put fiberglass in that shit?

Speaker 1 Probably. Damn it.

Speaker 2 I don't think the Zen industry is too closely regulated.

Speaker 1 The problem is, the pouches I have are bigger. Those are so small that I just swallowed it.

Speaker 1 Fuck. Did you really swallow it? Yes.
That's so bad. I like,

Speaker 2 like, that was bad. I wish it happened to Jake because he would check himself into poison control.
Yeah, like, I dip.

Speaker 1 I dip all the time, but their pouches are big. That one is my first time I ever had Zin.

Speaker 1 That's so small, I didn't even notice it was going down my throat. What happens to the business? Well, now you're going to have like the delayed release buzz all day.

Speaker 1 I'll be buzzing for the rest of the day. This is going to be sick.

Speaker 1 But you basically just took out her off. Yeah, what I was going to say was, I have a theory that if you go to any city and the weather is nice on that day, it's the greatest place in the world.

Speaker 1 Like, if you go to a place and it's 60 degrees and sunny, you could go to like a place everyone would say is, oh, that's a shitty place. And you're there and you're like, I can see myself living here.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And then it's obviously reverse.
If you're like, if it's raining, you're like, oh, this place kind of sucks. Right? It's like, do they have a shell that I can get a bang energy at? Cool.

Speaker 1 I'm cool. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
You really like bang energy more.

Speaker 1 You like the models more?

Speaker 1 I just like drinking bang. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'll say it. Yeah.

Speaker 8 I'm a banger.

Speaker 2 What makes you be a bang guy and not a C4 guy? Because I'm a C4 guy.

Speaker 1 Okay, I don't even know if this is true, but doesn't bang have like creatine in there or some shit? It might. Super creatine?

Speaker 2 I think C4 has super creatine, too. Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 I just know when I drink a bang,

Speaker 1 I just do those extra reps. Yeah.

Speaker 8 Yeah. You're a real workout fiend?

Speaker 1 I have been. I stopped drinking like, it's going to be three months soon.
So I just work out now. Because you just wanted to?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I was just like drinking too much. Okay.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I'm on the.

Speaker 1 I never know if I should be like congrats on your sobriety no it's all good yeah I just and I there's so much I still want to do with comedy and I'm like this isn't gonna take me to where I want to be yes what do you want to do what's next I just want I want to do like movies like Adam Sandler is like

Speaker 1 you can call him cheesy or whatever but he's built a fucking empire and I definitely envy that the thing I like about Adam Sandler is he

Speaker 1 he's a very loyal dude he brought like all his homies friends David Smith they're taking care of Rob Schneider and he films movies movies. He's a legendary guest.
I totally will. You'll bring us.

Speaker 1 I'll bring. Yes, we're all going.
I'm the guy who followed Zen live on air. Zen guy.

Speaker 1 P.F. Poofed.

Speaker 2 This is ridiculous, by the way. I'm on the Zen website

Speaker 2 trying to figure out what happens when you swallow a penny.

Speaker 1 I'm putting mine back in. I have to.

Speaker 1 I'll take another one. I've had to.
Oh, maybe I'm like, no, fuck it.

Speaker 2 I've had to answer like nine questions, enter in like a password. I had to register for an account to get to the website to see what happens.

Speaker 1 You kind of feel like a badass. I just swallowed it.
You kind of are. You're an outlaw.
It is way too small.

Speaker 1 I have to imagine people swallow this all the time. But they get you buzzed.

Speaker 2 Yeah. They do.

Speaker 1 It's like small. We've got to put like

Speaker 1 a 16 plus on this episode.

Speaker 1 FAQs.

Speaker 1 Do you think there will ever be a point where Jimmy gets so big he won't return your call? Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's there already. You think so? Call him.
I said, Jimmy, this is my son. Call him.
Name him. I said, Jimmy, this is my son.
Name him. Yeah.
Nothing.

Speaker 1 FaceTime him. Let's see if he responds.
This will be great.

Speaker 2 While Zen nicotine pouches aren't intended to be swallowed, the nicotine and other food-grade ingredients found in Zen are not harmful to adults

Speaker 2 if consumed in small qualities.

Speaker 2 So just don't swallow this one.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, exactly. Don't overdo it.
Don't swallow two. Okay, I'm FaceTiming Jimmy.
All right, let's see.

Speaker 1 If he doesn't pick up, now the big test would be if I FaceTime him after and he picks up for me and not you.

Speaker 1 Right?

Speaker 1 That's true. That would hurt.

Speaker 1 oh wow

Speaker 1 face time's funny because sometimes we get like nine rings and then it's like connecting yeah he's probably on set this is he's probably with like kevin hard or some

Speaker 1 all right kevin hard press i try

Speaker 2 and hard answers jimmy's face up he's like you got a project i'll do it the rock the rock is in the background holding kevin i feel like they just travel together all the time right they're in everything they make a bigger person when kevin gets on dwayne's shoulders yeah that's what me and big Big Cat do, too.

Speaker 1 They're going to make a super actor.

Speaker 1 This would suck for you.

Speaker 1 I know, I'd be sad.

Speaker 1 We shouldn't tell him we were together. That's true.

Speaker 2 See who he calls back first.

Speaker 1 We're just going to do this for the next three weeks. He's just going to ghost both of us.

Speaker 1 He is too big time now. It's not a big deal.
I actually wrote down some topics that I wanted to discuss. Alright, let's go.
Yes, beautiful.

Speaker 1 Love it. Okay.
Came prepared. This is great.
Oh, wait, Jimmy's calling me back. Oh, shit.

Speaker 1 He caught me. Oh, Jimmy has to to call you.

Speaker 1 What's up, brother? I'm on Pardon My Take. I wanted to FaceTime you.

Speaker 1 They wanted to say what's up. Pardon my take.
Jim pick up. Oh, my God.
What's up?

Speaker 2 How are we doing, Jimmy?

Speaker 1 Good. Good.
Good.

Speaker 1 Where are you at?

Speaker 1 Put it on the mic.

Speaker 1 I'm at an appointment. I'm about to see what I'm allergic to.
Oh, okay, damn. What? Yeah, I'm about to get pricked by an allergist, you know, know, see what

Speaker 1 is causing all these allergies.

Speaker 2 Might be the cocaine.

Speaker 1 What? Oh, nothing.

Speaker 1 You can just say plastic surgeon, Jimmy. It's not a big deal.
We know you're a Hollywood actor.

Speaker 1 Are you in New York right now? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Are you on a stand-up tour? Yeah, I am.

Speaker 1 How's it going? It's going great, dude.

Speaker 2 Trying to heal the world one joke at a time.

Speaker 1 I love that. Thank you, Jimmy.
I love you, dude.

Speaker 1 I'm good, man. I'm in L.A.
We just pitched, uh, we just pitched real bros to some networks. Yeah.
Oh, name the names.

Speaker 1 And,

Speaker 1 you know, we're

Speaker 1 still hoping for the best here. We're still waiting to hear back.
That's awesome. Someone pick it up.
Yeah. Yeah, and we're going to be a cameo.
We're going to get cameo in it. Yeah, hell yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I want to be the guy that sells fake weed.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they're making a cameo in season four. Yes, yes.
Hell yeah. Yes.
I want to break my ankle on a skateboard.

Speaker 1 What did he say? He wants to break his ankle on a skateboard. I'm cool with that.
Okay. All right.
Perfect. Perfect.
All right. You can let him go.
I feel bad. Hey, man, have a great appointment.

Speaker 1 We love you. We love you, guys.
All right. See you, Jimmy.
How's it going, Jimmy?

Speaker 1 See you, dude.

Speaker 1 Oh, God.

Speaker 1 Shit.

Speaker 2 We were talking to Jimmy about how Real Bros is on every single streaming service last time.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Is it actually? Well, it's just like every season's in a different place.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 But I hope what they do with this series of pitches, I hope that

Speaker 2 every network picks it up, and I hope every episode is on a different network.

Speaker 2 So just like finally get check all the boxes off.

Speaker 1 That would be awesome. They should do that with Harry Potter because it's like a magical idea.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So what topic is that? Yeah, what do you got? Oh, I got some good. I actually don't know if I can talk about one.
I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. No, you can talk about it.
Whatever.

Speaker 1 All right. Farting on the hot seat.
I thought that was hilarious.

Speaker 8 Thank you.

Speaker 1 The farting soccer player. Oh, you listened to the last episode.
Yeah, yeah. Nice.

Speaker 1 Is that the only one you listened to?

Speaker 1 I listened to some clips. Okay, nice, nice.
You did your research. Gotcha.
I did.

Speaker 1 What did you think about Billy's question to Ryan Whitney? I didn't get that far. Okay, all right.
So you listened to 20 minutes ago. I got to the Raising Canes ad reading.
Okay. All right.

Speaker 1 Shout out Ray. Is there a Raising Canes in New York? Soon to be in Times Square.
Okay, cool. Nice.
Yeah, I have a whole list here. Visible, I've worked with them.
Cool. Cool company.

Speaker 1 I was like, we have something in common. Yep.

Speaker 1 What's the other thing? This is very Costanza-like. Oh.

Speaker 1 Oh, on the way here, I saw a lot of fixed-gear bikes and girls with mullets. Whoa.
Okay. So I just wanted to

Speaker 1 just say that. No.
Oh, okay. Like, I walk right.

Speaker 1 I'm staying like in Times Square. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
But I've never actually walked around New York, so this is all. The fixed gear bike thing is all like a total culture shock.

Speaker 2 When you come to new cities by yourself, do you do like touristy stuff?

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, I guess not like a bus tour or something, but I'll just go walk around and kind of just get like the perspective of a

Speaker 1 person. Walking a city is my favorite thing to do.

Speaker 2 It's awesome. It really is.

Speaker 1 Like, just picking a direction and being like, I'm just going to walk this way. I just take this in out.
No mushrooms on this side.

Speaker 1 I'm on 12. Wait, are these sixes?

Speaker 2 These are sixes.

Speaker 1 I'm on 12.

Speaker 1 I mean, you're on 12 with like factorial because you swallowed one.

Speaker 1 I should be way more nervous. But I mean, I do consume a lot of nicotine, so I'm fine.

Speaker 2 I'm putting mine back to you.

Speaker 1 Does nicotine fuck with muscle growth?

Speaker 1 You're asking the wrong guy.

Speaker 2 Yeah, Billy would know about that.

Speaker 2 I think it's trying to get huge. So I used, I did dip when I was working out the other day.
Okay. That was a bad idea.

Speaker 2 But then Billy, the guy that's our personal trainer, he's a big fitness guru, he was talking about how it constricts your blood vessels and gives you better pump.

Speaker 2 But Billy thinks anything gives you better pump.

Speaker 1 Okay. Wait, is that it? Was that the whole list? Oh, no, I had some other stuff.

Speaker 2 Yeah, let's get it.

Speaker 11 Lucy's the obvious choice for a true nicotine pouch connoisseurs. That's why they're official nicotine pouch partner at Barstool Sports.

Speaker 11 They go up to 12 milligrams in strength and have unique shape that feels great. We all use the breakers.
They're the only pouches with a hydration capsule inside.

Speaker 11 They're a totally new kind of pouch, only available from Lucy.

Speaker 11 You pop it in your mouth, break it with your teeth, and it's instantly hydrated, releasing that nicotine faster, and it's a burst of flavor. No other pouch has that, I promise you that.

Speaker 11 Gas station pouches get the job done, but once you've tried Lucy, you won't want anything else in your pocket.

Speaker 2 Okay, a q-zip?

Speaker 1 All right. A quarter zip, like weed.

Speaker 1 Wow, you just said q-zip to me. We say it every episode, and I was like, wait, what does the qz stand for? Quarter.
Yeah, I know. Yeah, quarter zip.
Of weed?

Speaker 2 Is that a name for

Speaker 2 an amount of marijuana?

Speaker 1 No, a zip is like an ounce. Yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 2 That's a way cool term to use. I've never been able to say that.

Speaker 1 Q-zip would be a quarter's. A quarter of an ounce.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. So an ounce is what, 32 eighths?

Speaker 1 Grams? Actually, we probably have both both for you. Two eighths.

Speaker 1 Thank you, Hank. Two eighths.
Is weed legal here? Pretty much.

Speaker 1 Okay. In Jersey.
I went out of on Times Square, there was a little shop and they just gave me weed. You can see it.

Speaker 1 Those are the fakest. They have the big trucks with weed on them.
That's probably not actually selling. I didn't buy weed.

Speaker 2 You bought spice. You bought K2.

Speaker 1 No, my back's dirt after I hit that shit.

Speaker 1 My back's been hurting all day.

Speaker 2 I feel like we haven't heard about somebody smoking spice and jumping through a window recently.

Speaker 1 That was real hot for like that was like a 2000 Chandler Jones

Speaker 1 thing.

Speaker 2 Yeah, Chandler Jones did it.

Speaker 5 That was remember bath salts?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Do you know anyone that ever took bath salts and had a good time?

Speaker 2 Every time somebody took bath salts, they'd like get arrested.

Speaker 1 The craziest one was, remember Crocodil? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Crocodil was in Russia and then also like parts of Missouri and Illinois where it was essentially, I think people were like putting gasoline into their body. It was like gasoline and vodka.

Speaker 2 Wow. With a needle.
It would give you scales. Yeah, basically, like ruin your

Speaker 1 skin would fall off. Not good.

Speaker 1 Didn't Steve Will do it used to do crazy shit like that? Yeah. Drink a bunch of bottles.
Oh, he would do anything. Did he ever do crocodiles?

Speaker 1 Did he ever do Jankum?

Speaker 2 I don't know if he did Jankum. He probably tried Jankum.
He definitely. Jankum is the poop.

Speaker 1 It's poop, right? Yeah.

Speaker 2 I think Nick told me about that.

Speaker 1 We met Steve Will Doit. Really? Dan Bilzerian's house.
No. How about that first sentence?

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's like,

Speaker 1 that's like, what's that thing called? Mad Lib? Yeah, it's like a Mad Lib. LA Mad Lib.

Speaker 1 I'm at Blank at

Speaker 1 Bilzerian's house.

Speaker 2 There's so many of those drugs that I hear about, and I think to myself, like, why do people ever try it for the first time? Like, why would anybody try crack for the first time?

Speaker 2 I don't get it. Why would anybody inject crocodiles for the first time? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Right?

Speaker 1 There was one dude who did it for the first time. Who made it? Yeah.

Speaker 2 The Johnny Apple seed of crack.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 2 Oh, there's a CIA.

Speaker 1 Johnny Crackle Seed. Yeah, yeah.
All right, so what else is on your list?

Speaker 1 My cousin told me to say Marty Mush. Okay.

Speaker 1 All right. Next topic.
Yeah, we'll go on.

Speaker 1 Is that a thing? Yeah, it's kind of. Okay.
By the time it's there, maybe like

Speaker 1 it's been past the whole thing. Oh, okay.
Yeah. What was the whole thing? I don't even know.
He just told me to say that. He's a guy who works here.
Okay. Yeah.
All right. What else you got?

Speaker 1 Hard 75.

Speaker 1 Oh, I've tried. Well, no.
I think I haven't gotten more than a day in. But hard 75 is, it's like, you know how essentially I'm a bigger guy.

Speaker 1 Every now and then I'm like, I'm going to get back in shape. And I look for like a new program that will motivate me.
I found hard 75. It was like every day you have to work out twice.

Speaker 1 You have to walk 90 minutes. You have to read 10 pages of book.
And you have to take a cold shower. Yeah.
And it's hard. Workout.
Yeah, it is hard. I've only done one day.
I did.

Speaker 1 You're supposed to do 75. I did medium 75.
Yeah. I did like, I definitely, it's like no cheat meals too.
Yeah. So I fucked that up super bad.

Speaker 2 You can tell that we're real voracious readers because I think Big Cat just said, like, you have to read 10 pages of book.

Speaker 1 I did everything else. Yeah, I did everything else.
I worked out for like five hours and then we got to the 10 pages of a book and I was like, nope. It's too hard.

Speaker 1 I think I did two days of actual reading. Yeah.
I tried to read The Richest Man in Babylon. Learn about some finances.
Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 1 I do a thing where I just buy books. Okay.
So, but I don't read them. Girls come over, you're like, I'm an avid reader.
Yeah, I'm just like, what are you reading right now? There's just books. Yeah.

Speaker 2 One of those. We used to read a lot more as a society back when we didn't have cell phones when we would take shits.
Yeah. You would read anything about the toilet.

Speaker 2 You would read like a shampoo bottle.

Speaker 5 I used to do that. Yeah, shampoo bottles.

Speaker 2 I can tell you like how to rinse for Pete the whole nine years.

Speaker 1 You stupid like Bloomingdale's magazine. Xantham gum.

Speaker 2 Xantham gum was a real ingredient. That was in everything.

Speaker 8 Totally.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we just don't read. We just look at our phones now.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. Is there anything else? That was it.
I mean, it's been awesome. Yeah.
We appreciate you coming in. I appreciate you being here.

Speaker 1 I hope you know, like, in terms of guests, we have a lot of guests who come through here. You were high on the list of people hitting me up being like, yo, is Nick Cletty coming in?

Speaker 1 I fucking had a great time. I really appreciate it.
You have a lot of fans, big fans. Thank you.

Speaker 1 Thank you. Yes.
That means a lot. Yes.

Speaker 2 Go check out his live show.

Speaker 1 Yes. Check me out.

Speaker 2 How would you describe your live show?

Speaker 1 Just comedy. Got it.

Speaker 1 Do you like to laugh? Don't need much more than that.

Speaker 1 It's not like me.

Speaker 1 I think people think it's going to be me doing Vineyard. I'm going to check mine out.

Speaker 1 Just got to swallow it. I'm done.

Speaker 1 People think it's going to be me doing like Vines stuff or like Sudude, but I actually have a stand-up act and like jokes that I've written. So it's right.
I think, yeah.

Speaker 8 Go check it out.

Speaker 1 Can you do like this is part of my take, Sud, dude? Sure. This is part of my take.

Speaker 1 So, dude.

Speaker 1 That's the perfect ending. It's all

Speaker 1 bookmark. Because I swear to God, like, five years ago, it was like the first thing they were like, hey, you should check this out.
This kid is fucking hilarious. I appreciate it.

Speaker 2 Do you get sick of that? Do you like that whole meme from The Simpsons? Say the line, say the line.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's honestly, I just, I, there was a point where I was like, eh, this is like a little too much, but it's a, it's a fucking blessing.

Speaker 1 I, if it makes someone happy, I'm like, sure, dude, I'll do whatever you want.

Speaker 2 That's a good mindset to have.

Speaker 1 I'll dance for you. You also have the walking out of the barn with like all the weeds.
Oh, yeah. That one lives forever.
Like, no one knows. Like, that I just see that all the time.

Speaker 1 People just be like, someone was high. And then, like, it's that video.
Okay. Thank you.
Yeah. I appreciate that.
Well, Nick Coletti, thank you. Everyone, check it out.
What's your website again?

Speaker 1 NickColetti.com. Easy as could be.
Yep. Check out his comedy.
He'll be everywhere. I just looked.
It was literally everywhere. Okay.
It's spring and summer. All right.

Speaker 1 I don't even know if you know that. I don't.
No,

Speaker 1 it's an extensive list. So, yeah, nickoletti.com.

Speaker 7 thank you thank you thank you man appreciate it whether i'm hosting game day at my place or taking my talents to the tailgate boars head is my go-to for a spread that's as exciting as the game itself their platters are a hit every time they've got everything you need to keep your guests coming back for more and if you want to take it up a notch grab a few dips my personal favorite the blazing buffalo chicken hummus or even one of their charcuterie collections for game-changing flavor boarshead helps me elevate my entertaining every time whether it's for a tailgate or a home gating celebration.

Speaker 7 To upgrade your spread, visit your local Boarshead Deli for platter options or build your own to make it perfect for your crowd. Boarshead, committed to craft since 1905.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's wrap up Fire Fest of the week. Hank? Yes.
Go. I have a couple.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Do you want my... The least relatable Fire Fest of all time or a relatable one?

Speaker 2 The least one. You're...

Speaker 1 Let me guess.

Speaker 1 you know what it is your mercedes broke down no i was gonna say you're you're trying to chase the high of tom brady sucking your dick online and and the jumbotron at the celtics game and like life just doesn't roses don't smell as sweet it is celtics jumbotron uh parquet so yeah related yep uh you know that's why it's not relatable oh i know this one but i do take film photos with my camera

Speaker 1 And Marcus Smart came over towards us after the game. We were sitting next to someone in his representation or whatever and his and his fiancé or wife.
And

Speaker 1 they're like, oh, let's take a picture. And I was holding my camera.
And Marcus Smart was like, oh, shit, he's got the camera. And so we took a picture on the cell phone.
He's like, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 Like, you got to get one with the camera. So I was like fucking pumped.
And I just handed it off to the guy that took the cell phone picture.

Speaker 1 And the camera was like out of focus, but it was a quick thing. He kind of messed up the settings, took the picture, and it just came out super, super blurry.

Speaker 1 So it's like almost worse because it's right there.

Speaker 1 And if the picture was in focus, it would be an all-time picture all-time. So you're waiting.

Speaker 2 Just to clarify, your Fire Fest is that.

Speaker 1 I warned you. Wait, wait.
I warned you guys.

Speaker 2 Even though your first picture turned out great.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Which

Speaker 2 he posted onto his own Instagram and onto Twitter and tagged you in it.

Speaker 2 That one was fine. It's not film.
But the film one is a little blurry.

Speaker 1 You don't understand. Fine.
I don't filmmaker. I'm saying, if you're upset with me, I did reference this that it's the least relatable fire festival.
That's true. Right.

Speaker 1 It's still, it's still

Speaker 1 going to anger people.

Speaker 1 It's.

Speaker 2 No, it'll anger people because Hank's right. Like, that sucks.
It does. I'm sorry.
It's brutal, dude. I'm sorry this is happening.

Speaker 1 There's a high that I get.

Speaker 1 It truly is. It's kind of crazy that taking film photos, all my photographer AWL is out there.
I'm sure there's a bunch. But you take film photos and you get the email.

Speaker 1 It's like your photos are ready and you don't know because when you take them, you don't know if they come out good or not.

Speaker 1 So it's a very exciting feeling to look through them and and see which ones are good, which ones aren't. And getting to that last, and it was the last picture of my camera roll.

Speaker 1 So, I was like scrolling through, so nervous, so excited, and then getting to it, and it was just blurry, was just pain. That's tough, that's brutal.

Speaker 1 But we do have the cell phone one, he did post on his Instagram. That is true, and so and on Twitter, yeah, and tagging.

Speaker 1 So, what your second Firefest is it that you have to pay more taxes now that you're in the C-suite and you make $10 million a year? No, that's not it, I don't pay taxes.

Speaker 1 Oh, denied one of those things. No, Hanks, sovereign citizens.

Speaker 1 My internet, like,

Speaker 1 it's just absolutely mangled. Like, I've troubleshooted it.
I've unplugged it, plugged it back in, rebooted it. Have you checked for squirrels? I have not checked for squirrels.

Speaker 1 That's what it felt like, though.

Speaker 1 I've been in that mode this week where it's like, my internet's fucked up. I don't know the reason why.
I don't know what I can do to fix it.

Speaker 1 For people who don't know that reference, Barstool Sports, back in the day, our whole entire company almost came down because a squirrel was eating the wires in the main office.

Speaker 1 We could have all just been not sitting here right now if that squirrel had finished the job. And it came back.

Speaker 1 Like we had it, we like eventually it was like my, like I would get screamed at for the internet not working.

Speaker 1 And literally, like, finally, I go back, find the router, and there's like, it's chewed through by squirrels. And then we, like, fix it.
We thought we set it up. Two months later, it happens again.

Speaker 1 And meanwhile, literally every day, like, Dave is just yelling at me, like, why is the internet fucked up? I'm like, I don't fucking know. Like, I'm not an internet guy.

Speaker 1 Like, and I go, and it's literally the squirrels. And I would be like, it's the squirrels.
It's like, dude. That's a real conversation that would happen, which which is crazy thinking back.

Speaker 1 But that happened on a regular basis. Like, are the squirrels back? Yeah.

Speaker 1 This is basically the business insider spent countless hours and days and resources to try to bring us down and a squirrel could have done it. Yeah.
Like they don't realize. He's a little bitch.

Speaker 1 It could have brought a squirrel into the office and probably taken us out.

Speaker 2 How long do you think it would take if everyone's internet went down? Like the world's internet went down. How long until

Speaker 2 utter chaos ensues? I think it would be.

Speaker 1 It's not long. Yeah,

Speaker 2 I'd say under 10 minutes. because people would probably run to ATMs and then the ATMs wouldn't work.

Speaker 2 Traffic lights would get fucked up. They're hooked up to the cloud, probably.

Speaker 1 I got cloud problems, yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's just like every man for himself after about nine minutes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so yeah, it's just painful. I can't play Warzone, I can't watch apps.
Damn, like, it's just a struggle. Sorry, you have to use your imagination cranking off or watch on cable.
Like, yikes,

Speaker 1 softcore, gross. That's

Speaker 1 just TV and movies.

Speaker 1 Talking about

Speaker 1 little belly button fucking?

Speaker 2 Yeah. Ooh, silk stockings on.

Speaker 1 Back in the day.

Speaker 1 Nikki Fritz, R.I.P. I believe.

Speaker 1 That's an old school.

Speaker 2 Damn, Hank, sorry.

Speaker 1 Okay, Ryan, your firefest of the week.

Speaker 9 So

Speaker 9 I've been seeing this guy,

Speaker 9 and it's, I mean, this is long term.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 9 you know how, like, in every relationship,

Speaker 9 there's always somebody the relationship seems to matter a lot more to?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 9 Like no matter who you are, you can get along happily married. There's always somebody that has a 51, 49 split.
And sometimes that split's even greater. And it's getting to the point where, like,

Speaker 9 I don't want to say,

Speaker 9 like,

Speaker 9 I'm not trying to be a victim in this, but like, you can care about somebody for so long.

Speaker 1 And then you wonder, I don't think this person cares about the relationship as as much as I do.

Speaker 9 My friends are starting to ask questions, things that I maybe have been blind about because I care so much.

Speaker 9 It's just a lot of people close to me reaching out and asking, and I just don't know if I can go another year with Chris Paul.

Speaker 2 Ryan, how many texts have you received from people just being like, are you all right? Are you doing good?

Speaker 1 Way more than I ever would have thought. Way more.

Speaker 9 So one part of it is positive that you're like, man, I do have a lot of friends. And the other part is negative.
It's like people think I'm this messed up.

Speaker 9 Like, some people were like, I didn't reach out immediately because I just wanted to give it 48 hours.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 I, it sounds like it's been a tough week. I guess I could just say one silver lining is

Speaker 1 he was injured.

Speaker 9 He was injured,

Speaker 9 and I just know if he's not, it can be different next time.

Speaker 1 Next time, there's always next time,

Speaker 9 but I don't know. Is that just me? Is that just me thinking like,

Speaker 9 hey, if things were different, if he didn't drink as much,

Speaker 1 you know?

Speaker 9 If he didn't golf all the time, would it be different?

Speaker 1 And I,

Speaker 1 I, I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know what to do.

Speaker 1 Damn.

Speaker 2 Ryan, it's not you, it's him.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
I think that's fair. It's him.

Speaker 9 It is him. Because I know I'm doing everything I can.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you are. Yeah, you are.
Like, you've too much sometimes. You've gone out of your way to accommodate him in this relationship.
Right, exactly.

Speaker 2 And frankly, he has not shown you the respect.

Speaker 2 If not for him, if he doesn't want it for himself, if he's fine with having no rings and choking away all these big leads in the playoffs, five and just times

Speaker 1 not showing up

Speaker 1 ever in the NBA playoffs. I'm doing it again.
I'm doing it again. Yeah.

Speaker 2 If he's fine with that for himself, he should at least know that there's a man out there that believes in him so much that he's basically made it his entire brand to be you're like the like a random uh like burner cat on twitter like chris paul number one stand ultimate defender that's that's what you've gone to the lengths to brand yourself as and if he doesn't respect you enough to show up for you then i think i think it's best that you're just you're just going your separate ways and that you're alone

Speaker 2 he doesn't deserve you ryan

Speaker 9 That's what my friends keep saying.

Speaker 2 Yeah. You can do so much better.

Speaker 9 If I could, though, for just a moment,

Speaker 9 permission to be candid, granted.

Speaker 9 Can I push back a little bit on that number one stand branding that you were throwing at me? Because I think that's some of the biggest loser comment we see on the internet.

Speaker 9 Where I think I've been very pro-Chris Paul, I don't know that I do one of those, like, every time somebody does something, I do a Lego tweet. So I, yes, I've been supportive, but

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 Ryan,

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 9 Am I making excuses?

Speaker 1 I'm going to leave you with one thing.

Speaker 1 Have you thought about maybe, it's a big world out there. There's a lot of guys out there.
Have you thought about rooting for a winner like Patrick Beverly?

Speaker 1 Oh, he's still hurt. Maybe you would, maybe it would make Chris mad.

Speaker 9 Maybe he'd finally start caring.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You should.
You need a rebound. You should become a Pat Bev stan.
And then Chris Paul will use that as motivation to finally win something in his life.

Speaker 9 Honestly, a lot of us don't know what we have until it's gone.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 9 I just don't know if I could do that to Chris at this age.

Speaker 2 You got to. You have to, Ryan.

Speaker 1 For your own sake.

Speaker 2 Yeah. He doesn't deserve you.

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 9 Pat Beff made some good points, even on the second day.

Speaker 1 All right. Well, thank you, Ryan.
We appreciate it. And we're always here for you, man.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Just out of curiosity, one gotta go.

Speaker 2 Chris Paul, LeBron James, Kyrie Irving, Giannis.

Speaker 2 One gotta go.

Speaker 9 One gotta go. Shelter, water,

Speaker 1 companionship.

Speaker 1 We know what I got rid of.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes. All right.
Thank you, Ryan.

Speaker 2 Okay, PFT, what's your firefest? It's kind of a group fire fest for all of us. Oh, okay.
And you might have seen these videos

Speaker 2 earlier this week on social media. We found ourselves into a genes ripping problem.

Speaker 5 on this podcast.

Speaker 1 I don't think it's a problem.

Speaker 2 It's kind of a problem because now it's just sneak attack on jeans.

Speaker 1 It's sneak attack on jeans.

Speaker 2 So originally it was started as a social media trend that Billy spotted he wanted to reenact.

Speaker 2 We, yes, staged a few of them because they're funny to see somebody's pants get ripped off, but now people's pants are actually getting ripped like impromptu.

Speaker 1 It was the most obvious conclusion. Oh, it's over.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, no, I'm saying, no, I'm saying like the fact that Billy was like, hey, we got to do these videos and the first couple were he volunteered himself.

Speaker 1 He volunteered himself, but it was so obviously going to end up at this point where it became real that we were actually trying to rip each other's jeans off our asses.

Speaker 2 So now it's like you got to be careful. You have to bring like a backup pair of pants to the office, and everyone's looking over their shoulder all the time.

Speaker 2 It's going to end, it's going to end poorly.

Speaker 2 I don't know how it's going to end, but I just know that no one's going to be happy, and we're going to get into a small fight about it, and then it's going to be no more pants ripping over.

Speaker 2 It's the ball taps all over again.

Speaker 5 Correct.

Speaker 1 Absolutely.

Speaker 5 That's where we're at right now.

Speaker 2 Also, my balls got shown online in one of the videos, and Billy told me that he had edited out, but he very clearly did not edit out my testicles. Yeah.
So,

Speaker 1 hand up, my balls are out there. What were you going to say about Billy, Hank?

Speaker 1 Oh, so do you want to explain where he is? And I'll give you a backup. It's just funny.
It's just very, it's a very Billy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's on, we're doing a Most Dangerous Game show for Barstool where a bunch of people are going in the woods, filming a show. It's going to be great.

Speaker 1 Every AWO should watch and root for Billy.

Speaker 1 It made me laugh that Billy tweeted out, like, going to the woods for a week, no sell service, like basically making himself seem like the hardest dude ever and that he was like going to go find himself, just leaving out the part that it was his job and he's going for barstool and he's going to be sleeping inside of a house the whole time.

Speaker 1 No, they're staying in tense. Oh, okay.
Or it's like if you win challenges, you might got in the house or whatever.

Speaker 2 Billy did. He did make it seem like he was Henry David Throw going to Walden Pond.
He's like, I'm going to be here. I'll re-emerge in town once every six months to sell some beans.

Speaker 2 Then back to the woods for me.

Speaker 1 Lewis and Clark. Yeah,

Speaker 1 myself.

Speaker 2 He's competing in a reality competition.

Speaker 5 And as he waits, he gets money.

Speaker 1 And he also tried to get me to pay for his new foot shoes, which was an all-time Billy conversation where he's like, hey, can I expense these new, what are they called?

Speaker 2 Toe shoes.

Speaker 1 Toe shoes. And I was like, for what? He's like,

Speaker 1 for this show we're doing.

Speaker 1 It's going to be on barstool. And I was like, are you going to wear those toe shoes after? And he's like, yeah.
So

Speaker 1 Billy did leave behind his last will and testament in the studio he signed it and everything so it's it's legit it simply says if i die put me with harambe low-key billy there's no low-key on there and then a very i don't believe it's billy elaborate signature from billy on there i don't believe it's billy so logan uh he like runs all the barcel reality shows he was kind of casting it and and they told every contestant it's gonna be like you know You're gonna be living outdoors.

Speaker 1 It's kind of gonna be like fear factor-esque. Just know that before you say yes.
Billy said yes, like right off the bat. Was like, I'm in.

Speaker 1 Then he kind of called me, and they're like, We need like three or four more people. Uh, we need someone that like, you know, knows the game, knows the strategy.

Speaker 1 I was like, oh, maybe Jake, Jake could be good. I like kind of like put not the full court pressure, but I was like, Jake, you should do this.
It'll be good, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 1 He was like, oh, I don't know. Like, it's kind of like, I don't really want to do it.
It's a little bit outside my comfort zone. It's like, fine, no worries.

Speaker 1 Billy, after immediately saying yes, when he was like finding out what the challenges were or like what they might be, he started freaking out because it was funny because I retweeted about it today and I was like, oh, Billy's going to win this.

Speaker 1 Wild Bill, wild Bill, wild Bill. Right.
Meanwhile, he has been like freaking out about like what these challenges are going to be.

Speaker 1 But like Jake, I like was like, you know, I want you to do this, but if you, if you don't want to, that's fine. He was like, yeah, you know, I just don't like, I'll let you know.

Speaker 1 Also new would be Heat Celtics. Right.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But like it was very like

Speaker 1 he had way more pressure on him to do it and he still said no, no which is like very respectable no worries billy said yes and then after saying yes was like

Speaker 1 whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa like are we gonna be doing like scary stuff like bugs it's like yes like that's exactly what's exactly what you yeah that's exactly what you signed up for so like what kind of woods did he think he was going to yeah like there'd be no bugs it's it's it's it's gonna be very funny to see how he actually does on the show i actually can't wait because everyone's like oh wild bill billy lived in the in the in the bunker all this stuff but he has been freaking out yeah no he he and it was, I had like a little interaction this morning because they were all here getting ready to leave, and he was wearing his toe shoes, and I was talking with him and little sass, and Billy was like, I already have a leg up because I have these toe shoes.

Speaker 1 Like, I don't have to take them off. And Sass was like, what do you mean you don't have to take them off? And I was like, are you not going to take them off to sleep? He's like, why would I?

Speaker 1 It's like, what? What?

Speaker 1 Why wouldn't you?

Speaker 2 When Billy puts his toe shoes on, he thinks that they're completely form-fitting. Yeah.
And that he doesn't, like, remember, he showers with them on at home.

Speaker 2 It's like his special power. It's like his that's his version of Superman's.

Speaker 1 Imagine if he cries.

Speaker 2 When Billy's got the toe shoes on, he's in war mode.

Speaker 1 I think Billy and Sass are like they're both the most likely to like freak out and just not do a chance.

Speaker 1 But Sass at least knows that he has a reputation of like, oh, I don't want, I don't want to, like complaining. So he combats it with intentionally not complaining.

Speaker 1 I don't think Billy realizes that like he will complain and be like, I don't want to do this. And then they're going to put it in the video and everyone's going to be like, what? Wild Bill.

Speaker 1 Maybe no, maybe not.

Speaker 2 That's the thing.

Speaker 1 Maybe Wild Bill will show and maybe

Speaker 1 roll war mode.

Speaker 1 I could also see him. But I can't wait.

Speaker 1 It's going to be greater later on this summer.

Speaker 2 Shout out Nicoletti. He's probably going to be foraging for mushrooms out there.
And Billy might get his hands on one of those angel of death ones and end up in the hospital.

Speaker 6 It's also one reason why I can't, like, I love these types of shows. I'm a huge Survivor fan, subscribe to Snuff and Torches, but I also know I wouldn't be good because I cannot lie.

Speaker 6 Like, I just wouldn't be able to lie to get my way through the game.

Speaker 1 Billy could do that well, I feel like.

Speaker 2 Well, he can do it.

Speaker 1 I don't know if he can do it well. That's true.
No, he definitely can't lie well.

Speaker 6 That's what I'm saying. I couldn't get through it because I just couldn't.

Speaker 1 Nah, his parents grew up watching golf on mute. That's a fact.

Speaker 2 With Billy, it's more about the quantity of the lies than it is the quality of the lies.

Speaker 2 He just figures if he lies about literally everything, a couple of them are going to fly under the rest of the business.

Speaker 1 You won't be afraid to throw someone under the bus. Yes, yes.

Speaker 1 Will it work? We don't know. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right, my Firefest, it was very public but i i broke my phone uh no case gang i then got caught in basically like eight hours being outside of the cloud not being able to get back in um it was torture i had to go to the apple store twice oh my god yeah twice well i walked It's a long walk.

Speaker 1 Genius bar appointment? A mile and a half. Yeah, I had to make two separate genius bar appointments.
They locked me out of the iCloud. I couldn't get in.

Speaker 1 All my fucking, I thought I was going to lose all my pictures of my kids and everything. Finally got it, but Hank tried to like, he was like, maybe you should have a case.

Speaker 1 I say that to you every day. Listen, the only one.
All the time. Everybody that knows case scanning, it's like, why? The only person who could have avoided the situation? Yeah, me.
A case. No, me.

Speaker 1 The only thing that needs to be blamed in this entire thing, because it was torture. Like, PFT, you said, like, what would happen if you didn't get on the internet for 10 minutes?

Speaker 1 I didn't have my phone for eight hours, and it was, I wanted to kill myself. And

Speaker 1 I just need to be better with my reflex.

Speaker 2 Betterhealth.com.

Speaker 1 I dropped it getting out of my car and it fell and I did the kick save and I fucking missed it. It's just a total 100% hand up on me.
I have to be better.

Speaker 2 I agree with that because if you have a phone that is not protected, which I have had in the past, you get great at the kicksave. Correct.
It becomes like a force of habit.

Speaker 2 Like you can drop your phone from no matter the distance. It doesn't matter.
And you just stick your toe out at the last second.

Speaker 2 As long as it deflects off the top of your foot before it hits the ground, you're good to go. So yeah, that's, I don't think that that's that's a flaw in you not having a phone case.

Speaker 2 I think your foot was just slow.

Speaker 1 Exactly. I like your foot speed.
It was a wake-up call of like my athleticism. Like you got to get, you got to get yourself back to like peak agility.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And just, I want to just throw this out there because Hank, you can back it up. A lot of people will be like, oh, you don't have a case because you have money.

Speaker 1 I wrote that blog in like 2013 when I had just, I was smashing phones left and right and it cost me a lot of money.

Speaker 1 So I've been no case for a very long time. It is not a money thing, it's just a thrill thing.
It's a gamble every day when you wake up knowing this could be the last day of your phone's life.

Speaker 2 It does, it objectively feels better too.

Speaker 2 I do miss having just the uh, the metal going on.

Speaker 2 I got this new phone's a little bit bigger, and I've got the case on it now, and it's I feel like my opinions are filtered because I have to go, my thumbs have to work through a case whenever I'm typing something in.

Speaker 2 I also love doing the kicksave when I'm going to the refrigerator and like a pickle jar falls out, and on its way down, I'll do that. I'll just like stick my my toe out at the last second.

Speaker 2 It's just a thrilling moment.

Speaker 1 I feel like it was like the iPhone 4s or 5s, the ones where it was like all glass, where every single time you dropped it, they would break. Yes, yes.
It actually

Speaker 1 used to go through like so many. It's gotten better.
The phones have gotten better. This was a clean, like five-foot drop on cement.
Okay, Jake, your fire fest of the week. Let's wrap it up.

Speaker 6 Yeah, so we already talked about the nut tapping.

Speaker 1 Let's talk about it more. Yeah, I have one, but I can save it for next week.

Speaker 2 No, no, no, give it to us.

Speaker 1 Just one nut?

Speaker 1 No, come on. All right.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 You're a bad guy. You're a bad guy.
No, you're a bad guy. You're a bad guy.
I'm a contest machine. You suggested doing a bench press.

Speaker 1 No one's going to get hurt doing a bench press unless you're billing. I already lost it up, though.
Yeah, Torn Labram.

Speaker 2 Right, so you would have been exempt.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. Well, what happened to Cat?

Speaker 1 Big Cat was like, no, that's a lame idea, corporate Hank. You're a pussy.
Let's do a fucking ball smash. Hank's worried about insurance rates for the company.

Speaker 2 Like, wow, that's a class action lawsuit.

Speaker 5 I can't have that in my bottom line.

Speaker 1 It is. Listen, I know what the people want, and

Speaker 1 I give the people what they want. And now you're making me feel bad.
Well, because you went too hard. No, no, no, Hank.
Here's the thing.

Speaker 1 I think

Speaker 6 the sound effect is a big factor.

Speaker 1 I agree. Thank you, Jake.

Speaker 2 Hank, this is all Hank sits on the throne of lies because right afterwards, right after the nut tap.

Speaker 1 You can see my reaction.

Speaker 2 Hank, will you shut up?

Speaker 1 Mute your own microphone, Hank.

Speaker 2 Right after the nut tap, Hank's initial reaction was, oh my god no i i can't believe i did that i'm so sorry oh fuck i hit him way way way too hard but then hank gets like five minutes to start thinking about it and he starts deluding himself telling him all the reasons why it actually wasn't that bad when in the moment you knew that you i put my hands up like was that too hard

Speaker 1 did i do that

Speaker 1 i don't see this is where it's like what like what am i supposed to do what am i supposed to do what was i supposed to do How could I have done it any differently? You should have sucked him off.

Speaker 1 If you had been a real, real friend.

Speaker 2 Use your left hand, maybe.

Speaker 1 Yeah, all right, Jake, give us your real firefest.

Speaker 6 Yeah, so this has to do with you guys as well. So my Twitter account used to not be my Twitter account.

Speaker 1 What do you mean?

Speaker 2 It says PMT Sports Biz right there.

Speaker 1 Right, I don't believe it.

Speaker 7 It's verified. So before

Speaker 6 you have the receipt of when it became verified, it was March Madness, 2021,

Speaker 6 first day of the tournament. Anyways, at first, it was Blake,

Speaker 1 of course.

Speaker 1 Who won that day?

Speaker 6 16 teams advanced.

Speaker 1 I think Oral Roberts over Ohio State. Yeah, that sounds right.

Speaker 6 At first, it was Blake Borrell's Wikipedia.

Speaker 1 Who Kif Classic?

Speaker 6 Yeah, and then it was Billy 1.0 when he was your first intern.

Speaker 1 The account was PMT Nutrition.

Speaker 6 Yeah. Right.

Speaker 6 And then it was me starting June 3rd, 2020.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow, you really

Speaker 6 seats. 2019.
Yeah. So, like.

Speaker 1 This is great because Jake is like so buttoned up and knows exactly the dates. I saw the tweet and I was like, I had an old PSA tweet.
Like I had never even thought.

Speaker 1 I know that these are all moments that happened in my own life, but I just don't even remember that like Billy had that account for a while. Right.

Speaker 2 Allegedly. But it said your name on it.

Speaker 1 It did.

Speaker 6 It did. But I have a PSA that's not me.
But what I'm going to do is I'm going to do.

Speaker 2 So wait, what are the tweets in question? So I saw that.

Speaker 1 I deleted that.

Speaker 1 Are you rap lyrics?

Speaker 2 I saw an old tweet of yours resurface, and i couldn't believe it so i retweeted it thinking wow i can't believe it jake anything before

Speaker 2 oh the tweet was a picture of billy uh wearing a suit and a tie on presentation day and then jake's reply

Speaker 6 don't use the word jake's reply to it was wow look at this f-u-c-k-i-n nerd yeah so it was billy anything before june 2019 is not me but I found some other ones that look really funny as if it's me, so I'm going to become like the Chargers PF Changs.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. So ready? Because this is in me.

Speaker 6 Just think of my avatar, my check mark, my name.

Speaker 1 It's you.

Speaker 6 My mom is pissed I'm on Twitter so much nowadays. She got mad and is taking my phone away.
Last tweet till IDK when

Speaker 1 he definitely blamed us. This is when we.

Speaker 2 So what happened with actually.

Speaker 1 He really got in trouble. It's like they're making me tweet.
That's what he did with TikTok. Actually,

Speaker 1 going back and forth. He's like, yeah, you guys, he gets mad at us.

Speaker 6 He's like, this is July 1st, 2017.

Speaker 1 I'm on TikTok too much. He's like, well, it's because I have to for my job.

Speaker 2 Knowing what we know now about Billy, he definitely just wanted to take like three days away and just go get hammered drunk. And that was his excuse.
No, my mom took my phone.

Speaker 1 His parents were like very.

Speaker 1 I had to talk to his dad on the phone once. Billy was like, you need to talk to my dad because he thinks that like I'm making mistakes in my life.
I was like, what?

Speaker 1 Here's another one.

Speaker 6 Realize I'm Pavlov's dog when I hear the national anthem because I think I'm going in on kickoff and get head on a swivel and adrenaline pumping.

Speaker 1 This is 18-year-old Billy football, by the way. 17-year-old, maybe even.

Speaker 6 So when I'm bulking, I eat a pint of ice cream a night. Someone should come up with high-protein ice cream.
Good idea.

Speaker 6 And then last one, accidentally may have swallowed a soda tab.

Speaker 1 What do I do?

Speaker 1 You look a dog.

Speaker 6 You should look those tweets up and just, they're in my name.

Speaker 2 I'm sure it was a soda tab. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm sure it was from a soda tab. So T.F.
Chang's Chargers

Speaker 6 has taken over this podcast.

Speaker 1 So like, again, nothing before 2019 June is me. Okay.
We should find some Blake Bordles Wikipedia ones. I'm sure there's some gems in there.
Yeah, there definitely are. All right.

Speaker 1 Numbers. Let's wrap it up.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we have to. Okay.

Speaker 2 Not tap. Yep.

Speaker 1 This will be the only time.

Speaker 2 If you get it, you get tap.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're not going to keep this going forever, but this will be the only time.

Speaker 5 I hope Jake gets it again.

Speaker 2 Wait, aren't I safe?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 21.

Speaker 1 21 for Hank? 3. 3 for Jake?

Speaker 2 64.

Speaker 1 64 for PFT? Did you not do that strategy the last time? Or did you just do that? No, it was there. Oh, I thought you were going to do it.
Give me a number that's never been done.

Speaker 1 Give me a number that's never been done. First two that when I turn on it, also, memes, get memes.
Make memes pick because he's so scared of this.

Speaker 1 What are you, Liam? Six.

Speaker 6 Oh, six has not been done. So we have 20, 26, 27, 29, 51, 70.

Speaker 1 No, no, two. 29.
Wait, Liam.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 6 Liam's changing.

Speaker 1 Liam's got two.

Speaker 1 I want to hit six, but I don't want to hit it right now. I'm going to wait there.

Speaker 6 But this counts, right? This is part of.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, this counts. It's both.

Speaker 7 It's for both. I'm going to pick one for Billy.

Speaker 2 So if it hits, when he gets back, we get to hit him in the nuts. Okay.

Speaker 1 yeah, we all do.

Speaker 2 I'm gonna go 99.

Speaker 1 Okay, 99. All right, here it is.

Speaker 1 This would be karma if it ended up on me.

Speaker 1 163. Oh, it's one out.
Wow.

Speaker 2 Wow. That was close.
All right.

Speaker 1 See you everyone Monday. By rnr.com.

Speaker 2 Love you guys.

Speaker 2 Antelopes know artichokes. They know how to start fires.

Speaker 2 Anyway,

Speaker 1 today's another day to find you. Shy it away.

Speaker 1 Though I'll be coming for your love up here.

Speaker 2 Shy it away.

Speaker 1 So I'll be coming for your love up

Speaker 1 Take on

Speaker 1 me,

Speaker 1 take

Speaker 1 me up

Speaker 1 Take on

Speaker 1 me,

Speaker 1 take

Speaker 1 me

Speaker 1 up

Speaker 1 I'll be gone

Speaker 1 with it I'll change

Speaker 1 Say after me.

Speaker 1 No, it's no better to be saved than Sarah. solving.
Say after me.

Speaker 1 Always no better to be saved than solving. Take on

Speaker 1 me.

Speaker 1 Take

Speaker 1 me.

Speaker 1 Take me

Speaker 1 off.

Speaker 1 I'll be

Speaker 1 gone

Speaker 1 without me

Speaker 1 things that you say

Speaker 1 just blame my worries away

Speaker 1 You're all the things I've got to remember I'm shying away

Speaker 1 Well I'll become for you anyway

Speaker 1 Well I'll become for you anyway

Speaker 1 Gone me

Speaker 1 Take me

Speaker 1 up

Speaker 1 I'll be gone

Speaker 1 your day.

Speaker 1 I'll be gone.

Speaker 1 I'll be gone

Speaker 1 here.