Nick Colletti, Randy Moss, Saban vs Jimbo And A Special Fyre Fest Guest

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On today's Pardon My Take, a twofer for the people. We have Randy Moss, Preakness Picks.
Talking a little horse racing with him. Then we have comedian Nick Coletti.
If you are a longtime AWO, you know. So, dude, very funny guy.
He does stand-up, been in a lot of stuff uh and then we have the game two recap of heat celtics game one recap of mavericks warriors jimbo versus saban and a very special

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Boy! Boy! Now in the street there is violence and a lot of work to be done No place to hang out or washing and I'm out. It's part of my take.
It's part of my take. It's part of my sports.
Oh, we gotta rock down to electric Today is Friday, May 20th, and the Celtics are back.

Absolute womp of the heat in Game 2.

Turns out Marcus Smart is very important.

He had an insane night.

Al Horford.

Al Horford.

Peyton Pritchard, I saw a stat before I walked in.

Tied the record, I think, for Celtics plus minus in playoff games with Kendrick Perkins plus 41 while on the court. And on top of all of that, Hank decided it wasn't enough to beat the fuck out of the heat.
He also slapped Jake so bad that Jake is sick. Okay, so let's set a reset of this real quick.
Let's have Jake reset it, please. Before you guys slander the conversation.
Because I don't trust what Jake's about to say. You're saying Team Hank to the man that just punched you in your testicles, Jake.
He asked me to. It was part of context.
We each picked two numbers from the machine. If you picked it correctly, you have to get tapped by a person of your choosing.
Hank got the win over the Celtics. Celtics heat stream figured.
25 point win. Yeah.
It made the most sense. That's what the AWLs want.
They wanted to see me versus Hank on the basketball. And I feel like it's a fitting way to end the stream.
And so Hank really took a lot of Oh no. Jake just dropped the laptop.
He's down bad. It's because his testicle is so swollen.
He's down bad. He slid right off.
He's down bad. So Hank, you just fucked him up so bad.
You fucked him up, Big Cat. What Jake left out is that Big Cat was the one that invented the bag.
No, Hank went up there, and he slapped Jake with extreme malice. Oh, my God.
The sound effect, it was the sound of like a large man doing a belly flop from a 10-meter platform. You took out like a year's worth of frustration with Jake on that one nut slap.
No, I love Jake. The Best in the Office thing was great.
It was a great clip for Stoolstream. It was a great promotion.
I had no issue with it. The step over, that was fine.
No issue with that. None.
None. None whatsoever.
I reviewed the tape. And for context, again, we did a whole live stream.
This was part of it. Every single quarter we drew numbers, and somehow after the second quarter, Aria, the producer who was also in the room, he got his number chosen.
He asked Big Cat to hit him in the nuts, and Big Cat, his first time, went too soft and missed, and it was awkward, and it was like, all right, well, I have to do it again. So that was kind of in my head where I was like, I obviously don't want to hit him in the nuts, but I don't want to have to hit him in the nuts twice.
I wish I hit him less hard, but I also don't know what I was supposed to do in that situation. I had to hit him in the nuts.
And Hank's saying that he did you a favor by just winding up and hitting the shit out of your schroter. I plead not guilty.
But guilty for hitting him in the nuts. But not guilty for hitting him too hard.
But then now Jake. Hank is apologizing to Jake.
And then Jake is apologizing back to Hank. I'm also low-key mad at Jake because I think he just put a curse on the Celtics.
You did. It's part of like heat and five karma.
I definitely don't apologize. Hank, how are you saying that Jake put a curse on the Celtics? Because he could have chosen anyone.
By you hitting him. Because he could have chosen anyone in the room, but he chose me.
This is textbook abusive behavior from Hank right now. I'm gaslighting.
He's making you feel bad, Jake, about what he did to you. In reality, it should all be Big Cat.
If anyone should feel bad, this is Big Cat. Agreed.
I literally told Jake that if he can't have children and he wants to later on in his life, I will fuck his future wife. That's a very nice thing for me to do.
I mean, I guess that's true. I did not offer to do that.
I'm a hero in this situation. Back to the game.
I'm good if everyone's good. I'm great.
I'm sorry. I don't think you're good.
That's okay. We want attention in this series, and now we have it.
If you want to call me a puppet master, that's fine. We want attention.
We have it. The Celtics, that was a crazy performance, though.
20 for 40 from three. They were insane.
I just saw the stat they had on SportsCenter. It was like the fifth largest road win in the playoffs of any team ever.
Crazy, crazy win. Are they all the way backhand? Because you were scared because of game one.
Like game one shook you. They were up 20 in the first half.
I was like, this game's over. And you're like, don't say that.
Don't say that. But it felt like they from literally it was I think it was 21 to like 14 and then the Celtics went on a 17-0 run and they never looked back I mean the Celtics if you really look at it have had control for most of the series so yeah I was I felt only won two quarters tonight I felt super super confident about the Celtics in the first half of the first game and then it all fell apart 39 to 14 so I it would it would be fucked up and like bad of me to be like oh this game's over we have this in the first half of the first game, and then it all fell apart 39-14.
So it would be fucked up and bad of me to be like, oh, this game's over. We have this in the bag in the first half, no matter what the score is, because that third quarter of game one was scarring.
Yeah. Make or miss league.
It was a whomping. It was straight up a whomping tonight.
And what's crazy is I was looking at the plus minuses too. Peyton Pritchard, they just adjusted his stat line, by the way.
To 39. To 39.

So, Kenneth Perkins remains untouched.

If you look at the plus minus on the heat,

Gabe Vincent only minus three on 24 minutes.

Tyler Hero also played 24 minutes, minus 33.

Oof.

So, that tough night for a boy Tyler.

I like doing plus minuses too because it tells you that Omer Yurtsevin. Yurtsevin.
Yurtsevin plus seven. He needs more minutes.
He needs more minutes. He needs more minutes.
Yeah, six minutes plus seven. That's efficiency.
That's great in a loss like that. But, yeah, this was a true whomping.
I guess we'll see. I expected the Celtics to come out and play really well tonight just because they're a very good team, and it doesn't feel like it feels similar to the Bucs series where I think this will go back and forth.
I think we're going to have a six or seven-game series. I think this will go back and forth.
I think the Heat will win one game in Boston. Both these teams are very good.
You know what I don't want, though? And just bet on the team that lost the last time. I don't want it to be back and forth, but in blowouts both ways.
No, I agree with that. Yeah, tonight was boring.
It was very boring. And Wednesday night.
Wednesday was very boring, too. Yeah, we can talk as well.
Wednesday was very boring. I mistakenly thought that Luka drinking a beer at 11 a.m.
before the game was a good sign for the Mavericks. Turned out it was not.
The Warriors did. There's also no way that was true.
Yeah,. Yeah.
The Mavericks said that it was from another day. I choose to believe that it's true.
My problem is not with the beer. I think if you're from Eastern Europe, you should be able to drink a beer instead of Gatorade during the game, and that would be fine.
Yeah. But my problem was.
This is like the Suns video. You see the Suns video of them dancing in the hallway? And I was like, oh, this was before game seven.

They were like goofy dancing.

Yeah, I don't like that.

But my problem is not with the beer.

My problem was he had a hookah.

Oh, no.

It was hookah Doncic.

And that's not good.

That's not good for the lungs before a game.

Hookah Doncic is nice.

You think that's going to stick?

I don't know.

I didn't even see the hookah in there. That's definitely somebody on Twitter.
Somebody on Twitter is Hookah Donchert. Yeah, oh, for sure.
Without a doubt. But, yeah, that game was a blowout as well.
The Warriors. I actually think that series will be a competitive series because it's similar to what happened to the Mavs in the last round where the Suns looked like the Mavs had no answer for him for the first two games.
And the Warriors have had moments in this playoff run where they have looked like old school Warriors. And then they have had nights where it's like, what the fuck? No one can, like, dribble.
Everyone's just throwing it around. Klay sucks.
It was good, though, to see Steph get, like, his full swagger back. Yeah, he did one shimmy all the way down the court.

He just didn't stop shimmy.

He wasn't even that incredible from three, but he hit one of those threes

where it was like, this is not a good shot for anyone in the world

except for Steph Curry.

Yeah, but when he's hitting those shots, it's a great shot.

It's actually the perfect shot that you draw for him.

I hope that that series isn't going to be blowouts every single time.

Although, if it's going to be a late game,

I'm okay with it being over at halftime.

Yeah, it was going to be blowouts every single time. Although, if it's going to be a late game, I'm okay with it being over at halftime.
Yeah. If it's going to be like a 930 tip and it's over by 11, I'm totally cool with that.
I also think it's just, it was very similar to the Heat Celtics game one, where it's like you have the team that just won an emotional game seven, and obviously it was a blowout for the Mavericks, but that has to be such an incredible feeling to beat the best team record-wise in the NBA on their home court by 40. Then you have to turn around and play the Warriors.
It was essentially all the Mavericks role players that played out of their fucking mind against the Suns in that series, the end of that series didn't show up.

And that's what you get.

We get back to Luca needs more help.

Well,

they shot like,

I think it was 20% from three or something like that,

which if Luke is going to play Luca ball in the second half in the fourth quarter,

you have to have guys that are hitting shots earlier in the game to give

him that luxury.

Right.

Cause he can't,

it can't be Luca versus the world when you're down 10 points or you're

down 14 points.

Yeah.

You have to keep it within single digits and then let Luca cook.

Yeah.

So, I mean mean that was yeah two two blocks back to back but that's okay well i think we're gonna get some good weekend games what do you what even is the schedule what time's the game on sunday every game is one day off both series oh fuck so we get a game every day i love that go nba yeah finally right hockey except right? Hockey. Except the hockey now is doing back-to-backs.
Saturday, 8.30. Celtics are Saturday.
I think every game is 8.30 for all seven. Yes.
Maybe 9 p.m. for less.
Are they going to continue to screw over Southern Florida by scheduling every game at the same time? No, but six of the seven games are together, except they've made the Panthers-Lightning play a back-to-back because of a Kane Brown concert in Tampa. Oh.
Disgusting. Are you doing okay, Jake? Yeah, I'm good.
Thank you for checking in. They do a back-to-back in Tampa as if that team hasn't had experience playing late into the postseason.
It couldn't be a conflict. No.
There was also another all-time moment on the stream featuring Jake, which is his beloved Panthers lost in literally the last second of the game. They ended up adding like a two-second addition to the clock, but at the time they got scored on with .9 seconds left, and Jake saw it happen, and his reaction was perfect.
It was like, what was it? Oh, no. And they started smiling immediately after because he knew.
It was like a smile of shock, though. It was a smile of shock, but also a smile of what a moment of sports.
Yeah. That's crazy.
That was a wild moment of sports to score a goal, a game-winning goal with a second left. That's wild.
Yeah, if it wasn't the Panthers, it would have been the same exact tone, just oh, wow, instead of oh, wow is good, oh no bad. Got it.
Okay, let's get to the rest of the show. We got some Saban and Jimbo coming up.
A great discussion. And then we'll have Randy Moss, Nick Coletti, and make sure you listen to Fyre Fest because we have a very special guest on Fyre Fest this week.
When your home system or appliance breaks down, American Home Shield will help fix or replace the covered item, no matter its age. Visit AHS.com slash listen for 20% off any plan.
See AHS.com slash contracts for coverage details, limitations, and exclusions. Okay.
Well, World War III broke out today in the college football world. Actually, I should say it broke out on Tuesday night when Nick Saban decided to hit the nuclear button.
And then Jimbo Fisher decided on Wednesday to hit his nuclear button. So they both destroyed each other.
I'll give a little background for anyone who maybe isn't tuned in to the college football world. Nick Saban on Tuesday night does a – it was like one of those meet and greets that college coaches do where they basically go and talk to people for an hour, get some donor money.
Nate Oates was there. It's kind of like they go talk to some of the biggest donors in the area, guys that are boosters, guys that buy a lot of season tickets, and it sounds like Nick Saban was kind of like subtly hinting to them hey if we want to be able to compete long term maybe start paying these guys some more nil money and so i heard from someone on the ground too that uh essentially the the regular event went normal and then after their q a happened it almost felt like nick saban didn't realize that all the media was there even though though they all have cameras and it's like, there's the media.
So Nick Saban said about recruiting. I mean, we were second in recruiting last year.
A&M was first. A&M bought every player on their team, made a deal for NIL.
We didn't buy one player. All right.
But I don't know if we're going to be able to sustain that in the future because more and more people are doing it it's tough this is like to put it in perspective coaches just don't do this this does this doesn't get done where you actually name another school and another guy out loud and say they're cheating i could see lane kiffin doing it but he even outside of lane kiffin even still lane kiffin actually responded today he said for the first time in my life i have no words so uh which is words but whatever or i'm speechless it's it's like one of those things that all of them complain to each other and to complain to journalists behind closed doors off the record but they never outright say that guy cheated he bought all his players and it's clearly nick saban like where's the motive oh he actually said it to you right in in in the first line he said i mean we were second in recruiting last year they were second so he's mad nick saban doesn't like to lose yeah he lost on the field too he lost he lost uh to jimbo fisher and this is i think it was just him being like hey we need we need to do exactly what jimbo is doing but we need to do it better. That's, I think, the message that he was sending.

But then it got interpreted as like,

he named names, and so you don't do that.

You said World War III, I'd say,

like the Civil War, if both sides were the South.

Yeah.

And then Jimbo was like,

emergency press conference tomorrow morning,

and Jimbo showed up, and just,

he opened up the kimono.

Oh, he went torture us.

By the way, it's not even World War III. It's not even Civil War.
It's buyRNR.com because these are two West Virginia boys. So Jimbo and Nick Saban, both from West Virginia, that you should buyRNR.com because when West Virginians fight, there's nothing like it tonight.
Tune in. PFT will be there.
I'll be on the call doing the anthem. pft's got his secret thing coming which is going to be great so this is this is this is basically uh our rough and rowdy in college football but yeah do you actually have a pft oh it's being shipped there okay yeah special delivery let's let's let's hope it gets there now now it's officially built up so big that everyone's gonna be pissed off well you could do you well no because you bleeped it you bleeped it so it could be anything yeah but now that we're talking about it again now people are gonna be like oh that's what it is whatever the why did they why did they spend half of every episode a part of my take talking well whatever the coolest thing that happens tomorrow night you can be like that was it that was my thing i brought that knockout yeah yeah um so jimbo fisher he, yeah, like you said, PFT, he called the press conference,

which was just a hilarious move.

It's like, it's stone cold.

Like the glass shatters like 10 a.m. media availability.

See you there.

What just happened was they're essentially drug dealers.

And they both know that the other guy is breaking the law.

Oh, shit, that guy has illegally registered firearms.

Yeah.

No shit. Everybody does.
That's what we do in this business of ours this is our thing la cosa nostra and then jimbo he saw sabin run his mouth and now it's a snitching situation it's so if you're gonna be the first guy that snitches then i'm gonna snitch on you so what jimbo fisher essentially did this is all the way, indistinguishable from an episode of Real Housewives, except they just happen to be football coaches. This is the guy's version of Bravo.
Actually, they're more direct than Real Housewives because usually Real Housewives, it takes till the reunion show for this stuff to happen. Real Housewives, they'll say shit to the camera behind, like without anyone seeing.
They're just going each other yeah so Jimbo they're going fucking shot for shot so Jimbo didn't really say anything concrete to pin Nick Saban down but he did allude well to a lot of stuff and you know why he alluded to it because a lot of the stuff that Nick Saban was doing was when he was at LSU when Jimbo Fisher was also there he's implicating himself and didn't have a problem at the time But he was like, he referred to Nick Saban as God. And that's going to be tough to get people to disagree, especially people in Alabama.
Nick Saban is pretty much God. He's probably above God.
Yeah. And he was like, if you're going to call a guy God, the quote was, go dig into God.
excuse me, I'm trying to get this right.

Go dig into how God did his deal.

You might find out about a guy like God a lot of things you don't want to know.

Yeah.

He's been reading the Old Testament.

He went crazy.

He also said, we never bought anybody.

No rules were broken.

Nothing was done wrong.

It's despicable that a reputable head coach can come out and say this

when he doesn't get his way or things don't go his way. Ding, ding, ding.
That's, that part Jimbo's right. That's 100% correct.
And, and side note, like there's a reason why it's not only Texas A&M because they had the number one recruiting class. They also have one of the wealthiest alumni bases in like budgets and all those things.
In terms of teams that can compete with Alabama, they're a significant threat to Nick Saban going forward. But he went on to say the narcissist in him doesn't allow those things to happen.
The parody in college football he's been talking about, go talk to coaches who coach for him. You'll find out all of the parody.
Go dig into where he's been. You can find out anything.
This is my favorite part. And it's a shame you've got to sit here and defend 17-year-old kids and families and text A&M because we do things right.
We're always going to do things right. I love when coaches bring in they're just kids.
Listen, we're here to turn young men into adults. And what you're doing to the grandmothers and the mothers of these young kids is despicable.
Yeah, he said, I hate it for our players who are coming here who did things the right way, have done things the right way, will continue to do things the right way. And then, also in this, Nick Saban put a couple ricochet shots at our boy Deion and named names and was like, hey, at Jackson State, they're getting some recruits that they're paying money for.
Listen, Nick, Deion Sanders did not pay a nickel. Did not pay a nickel.
We, on the other hand, paid $2.5 million at a new Chevy Corvette to get them their recruiting class. Like I said, I said to Jack Mack, who does a great job with unnecessary roughness, where do you think the pile sale goes to? It's Travis Hunter.
It's going to Travis Hunter. Yeah, it's Travis Hunter one last thing with with uh jimbo because i want to talk about the deon part jimbo also uh like has completely debted nick saban he said he got a phone call from him he said we're done he didn't pick up he showed who you who he is he's the greatest ever huh when you've got all the advantages it's easy you coach with people like bobby bowden and learn how to do things you coach with other people learn how not to do things there's a reason I ain't went back and worked for him with opportunities don't want to be associated with it now he is there is like because remember uh Saban left LSU for Florida or for for the Dolphins Jimbo stayed Saban came back Jimbo didn't go with Saban when he came back.
He didn't go to Alabama. He went to Florida State.
So there is at least like a point in Jimbo's career where you can point to it like he probably could have returned to Nick Saban and he decided not to. Either way, it really is like mutual destruction because Jimbo's essentially saying he cheats, and if you start to dig into it, I cheated too.
Yeah. We all cheated.
Right. Yeah.
No shit. You just don't talk about the cheating.
Every, everything was copacetic in college football when we just ignored the fact that everyone was cheating all the time. Let's go back to that era.
I actually like, I like the structure and the format of where we're at in college football now, where like you can cheat, but are also getting more of the money right that goes along with the cheating just cheat do whatever the fuck you want no one cares the ncaa is not the cops and right now this has turned into essentially if the sec had an east coast and a west coast rap beef from back in the 90s that's what we're into right now like this is pretty close to i'm i've got it set in my calendar right now to observe the handshake. Will there be a handshake? Dude, how about the SEC media day? Now, knowing how the SEC runs and how Greg Sankey runs everything, they'll probably kiss and make up behind closed doors because that's just – the SEC has it figured out that we all are together because we just beat the shit out of everyone else.
At some point, you can't have the infighting because then everyone snitches on everyone. Everyone gets investigated because that's the best part about this.
The NCAA has to at least pretend to investigate both Alabama and Texas A&M after this. You know who got off Scott Free with all this? Tennessee.
Yeah. Tennessee got off Scott Free because they just landed that recruit from California with an $8 million NIL deal, and that didn't get brought up one time in this.
So right now, up in Knoxville, they're like, thank you. That's actually offensive to Tennessee, that they don't see him as a real threat.
That's bad, and that's the subtext in all this, that's kind of like bubbling under the surface, is Nick Saban's looking at the recruiting rankings rankings and he's like, why would every 17 year old in the country want to spend four years in College Station? Correct. That just doesn't add up unless there's millions of dollars involved.
Which for the record, I agree with him about College Station is the creepiest place on earth. Yeah, and they also, there's like kids from all over the country where it's like, how does a kid go from California to College Station? How does a kid go from Philadelphia to College Station? Those things, yeah.
But, so the Dion part, and I have a theory now, I just think Saban either is sneaky to online himself or someone close to him is too online because the Dion allegations, Saban even said like, it was printed in the paper. No, it wasn't.
It was literally a rumor that was made up by mad Florida State fans. It's a message board rumor that got started because they were pissed off that their guy got away and that Deion Sanders, their alumni, took him away.
And then somebody online with an account, probably like a power user, a guy that's got the fourth fourth biggest tailgate party at Florida State. He went on to the message board and was like, that's barstool money.
And now everyone's like, it's been reported. Right, it's been reported.
And then the same thing happened with the Jimbo thing. Now, Jimbo obviously gets the number one class.
There probably has been a lot of NIL number money. But remember, Jimbo, in a press conference in January, called out a message board.
I think it was a BroBible article. It was a comment section of BroBot.
He literally quoted it. He was like some guy named Sliced Bread.
So either that's Saban or someone in Saban's camp is Sliced Bread, the username. Because all these things that Saban is saying are just, they're things that are just floated out on the internet where you can find anyone bashing any program at any point.
Also, they're like, they're Aflac boys. Yeah, Dion and Saban.
That was my first reaction, too. That's kind of a crazy move.
Now, I love Dion. I love Coach Prime.
He's our guy. We'll back him until the end of the earth.
But with all that said, he's on the clock because he's doing a little bit of lebron q a he was like i will address these i'm waiting for it he had a great like to see it i mean the graphic that he put out when he said i'm about to address it was just it was a video of of dion and said like i will be addressing nick saban's comments at some point soon in the future i can't i i think if i know dion he wants to go just absolutely scorched earth and turn on preacher mode. Yeah.
Because he can get into preacher mode and start talking about the Lord and then Nick Saban's not going to have shit to come back with. I just need him to do it.
I don't want to wait. I want him to just do it because whatever he says, I'm going to back 100%.
Yes. I don't care what it is.
We have Dion's back. But this whole thing is just so awesome because it really is – this is not done.
Guys don't do this because, like you said, everyone cheats. So when you start airing out everyone's dirty laundry, like when Nick Saban said, we don't buy players at Alabama, guess what? Now people are going to start looking a little bit closer.
And you saw Nate Oates probably squirm next to him when he was at that event he's like wait what do you mean by we we don't need to look at anyone yeah like uh relax yeah uh to go back to the war analogy billy's not here right now so i'll just i'll hop into billy's brain real quick on this one low-key low-key low-key in this one nick saban is like putin they're both like two he's almost dead old short guys that they they kind of bit off a little bit more than they can chew on this one because they're old and they're irrational actors. Low key.
So Nick Saban is like, he's invading the Ukraine by pointing fingers at Jimbo Fisher but he's not going to like the backlash from the international community of Greg Sankey. Also, you throw in something like,-key, if any of these schools want to give me some money, low-key, I'd take it.
What are we ordering for dinner? Yeah, what are we ordering for dinner? We're going to miss those while he's gone. He's gone for a Barstool show, by the way.
I did appreciate Billy. I'll explain it during Fyre Fest because there's some funny, there's a good story behind it.
Okay.. There's a good story behind it.
Yeah. Okay.
All right. So save that.
I'll save this for Fyre Fest. So yeah, either way, it's awesome.
It's great to like the SEC always has us, you know. It just means more.
Yeah. It really don't.
Like the SEC just has a way of getting the whole entire internet riled up. And it's crazy that Nick Saban did this.
And then it's also not crazy because he's a really sore loser and he's been pissed off for probably months that he not only lost to Jimbo but he lost again to him in recruiting and like I think Alabama's gonna be just fine Nick Saban talking about parody was one of the funniest things ever because like dude you're I think you're I think he's lost like 25 games total and that's in like 15 years in alabama that's basically the reason why he left the nfl right after one season because too much whereas there was too much parody right he fucking hates parody he wants his oligarchs to be doing well and he wants to just smash everybody else uh jimbo and and saban the war that they've started between each other, the fans are going to take the next step.

The fans are going to start doing the digging before the NCAA gets to it.

So you talk, was it sliced bread?

Sliced bread.

Look for sliced bread.

I'm surprised it's sliced bread.

Nick Saban doesn't seem like a bro Bible guy.

He seems like a chive guy.

I don't know, but he...

KCCO.

Listen, he...

Roll Tide.

All right, here we go.

I found it.

I found it.

And I say, it's insulting to the kids who come here that you insinuate that.

Thank you. I don't know, but he...
KCCO. Listen, he...
Roll Tide. All right, here we go.
I found it. I found it.
And I say, it's insulting to the kids who come here that you insinuate that. And people insinuate that off a...
And things were taken off a message board. Pro Bible by a guy named Slice Bread, whoever the heck that is, who has no clue about what goes on.
But NIL is here to stay in college. So yeah, that's Jimbo commenting on Slice Bread back in February.
Slice Bread's got, like, what a day for sliced bread. It's the best.
Internet comedians are powerful, man. Expect us.
They are. They are.
And especially when it comes to SEC message boards and any talk of NIL being abused. It really, the end of this discussion comes down to, everyone's hand-wringing what's going to happen with college football.
You know what's going to happen? It's going to be fine because essentially we just opened the floodgates in over one year, and no one knows how to deal with it, and eventually people will know how to deal with it. Everyone's saying, NIL, what's going to happen? Transfer portal.
I don't know. Maybe because everyone in college athletics is in the past and then they changed all the rules like overnight and no one knew how to deal with it and we're going to have this period of time where everyone accuses everyone of cheating and then in five years we're like you know what this is good because kids get paid and we're good and you know I've always thought that when it comes to, like, alumni paying for players, like, an investment on an 18-year-old is not a great investment.
And eventually rich people are going to be like, the rich alumni are going to be like, I don't want to pay millions of dollars every single year. It will level out.
It's going to be the super rich alumni that they treat being a booster like the team is their play toy. Correct.
And so at some point, if you've got, like, $ like 50 million in the bank spending five hundred thousand dollars a year out of your own pocket might be worth it if you win a championship but i've always thought like rich guys who if they spend five hundred thousand dollars on an 18 year old to come to their school and then that 18 year old transfers the next five hundred thousand dollars is going to be a little harder to get out of their pocket. Oh, for sure.
Because they don't like to be – rich guys don't like to give up money. For sure.
It's going to – the coach that figures it out is going to be the coach that just like – probably a younger guy is going to figure out exactly how to deal with the NIL stuff and be like, listen, we can all – this is the purge right now. You can break all the rules that you want because there's no enforcement mechanism behind it.
And then five years from now, they'll come and they'll be like, hey, all that stuff that you have already done, that's now illegal if you were to do it again. Right.
But right now is the time the best cheater is going to win. And I'm convinced that if the first school that actually hires a true GM who has like who treats it like a salary cap will be ahead of everyone.
Yeah. Where it's like, this is our salary cap.
Bill Pullian. Every year.
Next year, our salary cap goes down because there's not as many contributions, whatever it may be. And you treat it like professional sports, it probably will work.
Yeah, Bill Pullian. He relates to the youth.
Yeah, he does. That's why I brought that name.
The youth of America. Should we talk a little PGA Championship? Our guy, Max, had a hot start.
He had a hot start. Let's leave it at that.
He had a great start. He had a great start.
What an awesome start. Allergies ruined his day awesome allergies ruined his day no but that's fine that's you know what allergies are the mark of a healthy body reacting to poison in the air so max great job your body's doing well we're going all positive but yeah no we're going all positive yeah i mean if you're allergic like i'm not allergic yeah i told him to stay away from the no spray yeah that would be dangerous.
I mean, we got you giving him tips about allergies.

We're in trouble.

We're fine.

Max don't listen to this part.

We're fucked.

It's just very cool that if Max were to win this tournament,

like the Oklahoma headlines out there. Every newspaper in America should be required to make that their headline.

Yeah, but he's still in there.

Rory's in first. Our guy Will Z's still in there.
Rory's in first.

Our guy Will Zalator is in second.

He's in there.

Brooks is in.

There is a loose place.

He's in Oklahoma right now.

In the field.

He's in Tulsa.

He's in Tulsa.

Also, I didn't realize, but is there – I had a tweet last night that I responded.

I was, like, sitting on the couch.

The game was a blowout.

And I, like, was responding to a couple tweets, And someone was like, do you guys not like Brooks anymore? And I was like, no, we love Brooks. He was going to come on Masters week, but our schedule didn't work out.
I didn't know that people thought there was a beef. No, Dave has a beef.
After the Brooks thing happened, I don't think we've had him on since then. No, but we could have Brooks on.
Listen, if all of our... Persona non grata for him.
I talk to him all the time. If we took every enemy Dave had and applied that to our show, we would not have any guests ever.
Correct. So with Brooks, we're still on good terms with Brooks.
We don't want to spend a lot of time talking about it if he didn't play that well. He's obviously injured still and dealing with a lot of stuff.
body i can't believe he's fighting this off it's crazy what he's doing right now yeah uh so shout out to brooks for being in the field today despite the fact that the allergies are so bad brooks went out there didn't complain a single time about nope nope so that's just the kind of guy he is also he meant i want to give max some credit for uh for mentally alphaing bryson to shambo yeah and getting him out of the tournament before it even started. That's how it started because when Bryson was out, I said, like, let's go, Max.
Everyone's like, what, you don't care about Brooksym? I was like, no, Bryson is paired with Max. Yeah.
That's why I'm commenting on him. Yeah, he got Bryson out the paint.
Right, right. So he'll be just fine.
There's another thing that happened that was kind of crazy that I haven't seen in a long time.

Gooch.

Gooch holds a shot out of the bunker, the greenside bunker.

And when I say he holds the shot, the ball landed in the cup.

Yeah, it was a swish.

It was a swish.

You don't see a swish that often in golf.

I don't think I've ever seen a swish, especially off the tee.

Is that even possible in a par three?

You don't watch enough Dude Perfect.

Ovi could do it. Dude Perfect does it all the time.
They swish it? Yeah. That's fucking sick.
And John Daly led for like 25 minutes. And he smoked 21 cigarettes on the course.
Wait, was that? I saw Will Brinson, a friend of ours, he was talking about, he followed him in 2008, so that might have been why. It went re-viral.
It wentviral because i saw i saw like sports illustrated or a website like that posted that exact clip and they said this was today yeah so he i don't know if it was today but will reposted his he had followed john daly back in 2008 and he posted his stats from following him he said he meticulously watched like every movement and john daly had 18 holes, 21 cigarettes, 12 Diet Cokes, six packs of peanut M&Ms, and zero ounces of water. That's awesome.
So that was back in 2000, which he could have been today too. I'm sure that John Daly had at least 21 cigarettes to that.
Yes, yes. But yeah, and Will also said that John Daly, quote, said he doesn't like the taste of water.
Yeah. Join the club, man.
Diet Coke. By the way, Diet Coke, if you drink 12 of them over a four-hour period, I think unless you've weaned yourself into drinking Diet Coke, if you just get...
Jake, you don't drink Diet Coke, right? Correct. If I gave you 12 Diet Cokes in the course of four hours, I think you'd probably die.
I think that would kill you. Yes.
It's like dip.

It's like dip.

Yeah.

It's the exact same thing.

It's a Wampus cat and Diet Coke.

No, it's more dangerous than the 21 cigarettes easily.

Yes, for sure.

Yeah.

Just ask Donald Trump.

Yeah.

Trump, I mean, when he goes off on Diet Coke, that's when he's at his best.

Yeah.

Diet Coke is-

That's okay.

I love Diet Coke.

I'll keep drinking that garbage.

Okay.

Anything else?

Hockey was awesome.

The Battle of Alberta is sick.

That second period on Wednesday night was absolutely incredible.

I feel bad for Rangers fans out there.

Yeah, that missed goal, that fucking wide-open shot,

and they don't close it out on the Canes,

and the Canes scored with like two minutes left and won in overtime. Brutal.
though he was psyched yeah good for memes good for memes okay let's get some interviews we got randy moss giving you preakness uh picks and then nick colletti saw dude full circle like six years in the making for part of my take in studio after Randy Moss. Let's do it.
We're going to get right back to the show.

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Let's just leave that in the past.

I busted everybody big enough to carry money, basically, is what I did for you guys. Yeah, but let's at least talk about the Kentucky Derby winner, Rich Strike, not racing in the Preakness.
first can you I was trying to give a good analogy for like what it was like for this horse and this

trainer and this barn, everything to win that race. What was the analogy you used for, like, in football terms or any other sport? You know, I tried to come up with an analogy for football, and there's really not one because there's much more parity in the NFL, I think, than the chance that this horse had going into the Kentucky Derby.
I'll tell you how shocking it was to me. OK, I am 100 percent anal when it comes to preparing for these races, especially a race like the Kentucky Derby.
I mean, we talk to every trainer. We talked to some of the owners.
We talked to quite a few of the riders. I mean, we're ready for anything to happen.
20 horses in the Derby, 19 of them we reached out and talked to. One we didn't.
And that, of course, was Rich Strike. Wow.
So lesson learned. Yeah.
Lesson learned. I mean, he only got into the race on Friday.
So, you know, there is an asterisk there. But it was a complete and total shocker that that horse was able to win.
Bulletin board material for Rich Strike. He was like, no one even wanted to talk to me.
No one wanted to learn my name before the race. I'll go out there.
I'll prove the haters wrong. So after the Kentucky Derby, I'm always curious because I don't really know anything about horse racing.
How long does it take for the horses to recover from that one race? Like, is there training? Do they, like, kind of slow off on the training for the next couple days, the next week, to let them recover from that strenuous event? Or is it just like, okay, back in the routine? The answer to the second part of your question is yes.

After a race like the Kentucky Derby, they'll take it easy on the horses for a little while.

Even the ones running in the Preakness, their philosophy is after they've trained up to the Kentucky Derby,

they've run in the Kentucky Derby, whether they've won it or competed, they're fit.

They're ready.

So you don't have to do a whole lot between them. Just keep them happy between the Derby and in the two weeks to the Preakness.
In terms of how much it takes out of the horses, it depends on the type of race they had. It largely, mostly depends on the individual horse.
Some horses are knocked for a loop and it takes some five, six weeks to recover. Some horses look like they could run two days later.
You know, Rich Strike is a horse that apparently came out of the race. OK, and had some energy, but they felt and they even said this before the derby.
They felt like his best races began to come when they gave him a lot of time in between races. And that's why they didn't want to come back and run on the Preakness in two weeks.
Yeah. I mean, it stinks.
It takes a little bit of the allure away. I'm still going to watch, but I, yeah, unless there's an injury, I think the horse should have to race, but that's neither here nor there.
When you're talking about the Triple Crown. So what PFT just said, there's the Preakness, seven out of nine of the horses uh are off two or basically raced two weeks ago there's some that raced in the oaks and other races uh that weekend how much of an advantage is it for the two that are uh you know fresh legs they're they haven't raced you know in the last couple weeks do they have just a big advantage over everyone else because i remember last year i'm pretty sure ron bauer hadn't had had a nice rest beforehand as well it's definitely an advantage but yet it is uh the reason why trainers say they don't like to come back in two weeks in the previous is because they believe it's counterproductive for the horse for their energy level for their overall future right uh so ergo it stands to reason that the horses that have more time than that will benefit from it.
And you saw it with Ron Bauer, as you pointed out, we've seen it quite a few times over the years. The only caveat there, it is, for example, a horse like Early Voting, who ran his last race in the Wooden Memorial and skipped the Kentucky Derby to be ready for the Preakness.
They did the same thing, the same connections with a horse named Cloud Computing in 2017, and it worked. He was fresh.
He came in. He won the Preakness.
But what you have to look at, yes, it's an advantage, but typically the best horses run in the Derby. So you get horses that are fresh that come into the Preakness and they have that edge but they're not good enough to take advantage of it yeah right and and it brings up uh a similar point with epicenter who will be the favorite on saturday who on paper should kill everyone in this race because like his three fastest races are faster than anyone else but is there going to be a wall that he hits where it's like hey at some point it will it will kind of regress a little bit here do you do you handicap that at all do you do you try to predict a regression wall coming for for a horse like epicenter who is faster than every other horse in this field typically at this level when you get horses that run well in the kentucky derby uh like the kentucky derby winner i mean they have a really strong win percentage coming back in the preakness it's it surprises a lot of people when historically you look and see how well the derby winners hold their form despite the two-week gap coming back in the Preakness.
It's then after that where you get the problem, right? It's the two weeks and then now the next race if they have to come back in the Belmont or they need a lot of time generally after that those two tough races back to back. So I expect Epicenter to run his usual race.
I agree with you. I think that he stands out in the field on paper uh but of course like early voting would have an edge uh he'll he's he'll probably set the pace epicenter should be right behind him and early voting does have the edge of uh of rest having not run since the wood memorial um so that will help his chances the The Philly comes off a really good race in the Kentucky Oaks.

She'll get some play.

I think it's going to be about four to five or even money.

So you allude to the Philly secret oath.

How do,

if you were to pick like one of the triple crown races that Phillies tend

to fare the best in,

would it be the Preakness?

Yes.

We haven't had a Kentucky Derby,

a Philly that's won the Kentucky Derby since winning colors in 1988. Before that, it was genuine risk in 1980.
Before that, you had to go way back into the teams like regret. So, you know, you don't it doesn't happen very often.
But we saw Rachel Alexandra, for example, beat the boys in the in the Preakness. I think that was 2009.
Very impressively. But I do think that the Preakness is usually a better race for Phillies than the Kentucky.
I think it's six times a Philly has won the Preakness, which is more than the other two. Now, in terms of the price for a Philly, for people who don't know horse racing philly is a female horse um it it usually does like float up on race day do you think there's a little bit of value in a philly at the preakness who when you sit there on saturday and you're watching the price float up you're like hey this horse is really good people are just not betting it because it's a philly she's gotten so gotten so much publicity because of her Kentucky Oaks win and because of Wayne Lucas, and she's run against the boys before in the Arkansas Derby right before the Oaks.
I kind of doubt that her price is going to float up that much just because she's a Philly. I think she'll be a good price simply because Epicenter, in my opinion, is going to be four to five or even money.
Yeah. And that's going to drive the price up on everybody else.
So I think she'll probably be six to one or so by the time they open the gate. Maybe once the square bets start to come in on Saturday morning and it's all the Johnny come lately's and their internalized misogyny.
Yes. Then the price goes up a little bit.
And then we strike. Then we're the new girl new girl boss yeah all the jacks out there betting on happy jack right yes yes no i mean it's a good point it's a real thing we can maybe get a nice price is there a different um so we we say like sharps and squares all the time when we're talking about you know sports gambling is there an analogous term to horse racing for like some jackass that doesn't know what he's doing versus a guy that really knows the ponies? Yeah.
Dumb money is what it's been called in horse racing forever. You got the wise guys who know what they're doing and you got the dumb money.
And what's interesting in the whole arc of thoroughbred racing is that, you know, back in the I'm getting real deep into the weeds here. but back in the real heyday of horse racing, the forties and fifties, sixties, even seventies, there wasn't a lot of options for people that wanted to gamble, right? Vegas wasn't really Vegas.
It was for the Rat Pack maybe, but it wasn't that, you know, commercially available to most people to jump on a junket and go to Las Vegas. Lotteries weren't really in existence.
I guess if you lived in a big city and you want to play the numbers on the street, you could. But for the most part, anybody that really wanted to gamble went to the racetrack.
So there was a lot of people like to gamble. So there was a lot of dumb money being bet in horse racing.
And it was possible to do really well if you were a horse player that knew what you were doing and really, really paid close attention. Now in thoroughbred racing, one of the challenges for bettors, for big bettors, is that a lot of that dumb money has been siphoned away.
They're playing slot machines at the casino, right? Or, you know, they're playing the lottery. or they've got so many other options to scratch their gambling itch instead of horse racing, which requires a lot of work, a lot of homework.
So now you get wise guys betting against wise guys in horse racing predominantly, and it makes it a lot tougher for those people who try to do this for a living. I think sometimes people get intimidated by the racing sheet.

I remember the first time I went to a horse track, I was like, that looks like you're

asking me to do my taxes.

I don't want to do paperwork.

I want to make money.

There's a machine right over here.

I can press a button, a wheel spins, and then music plays, and then coins come out.

That's a lot.

I am the dumb money that you want betting on horse racing.

Simplify. Simplify.

Simplify.

One of the challenges in horse racing right now, you just nailed it.

People don't even want to pick their own lottery numbers, for crying out loud. They do quick pick.
Exactly. And now you're asking them to decipher all of this stuff in the racing forum.
And, you know, I will say the people that do try to learn this and really make an effort to study horse racing and try to figure it out, you'd be surprised at the percentage that get hooked on it. Hooked is probably a bad word.
They don't become compulsive gamblers. But they really develop a fondness for the sport, and they become big fans.
But the problem is just getting past that initial hump of getting people to want to spend the time to learn about the sport and how to bet. It's also, I think there's an intimidation factor of just how, yeah, like the actual bets themselves.
People don't usually know how to do exotics, which make it a lot of fun. The reason why I love horse racing is there's something about the rhythm to, right we're gonna go to the track all day it's race it's 30 minutes looking at the you know the sheet it's race it's like that rhythm is something just you know it's just a great way to spend seven or eight hours where you're it's just like all right here comes the next race here comes the next race and you have those 30 minute gaps in between where you can have a drink, but you're also studying for the next one.
It's a great day to spend a summer afternoon. I agree.
And time flies when you're doing that and you're really into studying and all that. Whereas if you play the stock market or something like that, you've got to wait a while or let's say even bet a football game.
You've got to hours to see if you win or lose we're racing you get a verdict every half hour and and you move on yeah you get a lot of action that way it is it's not like casino action fast and furious but it you know it's there's a certain allure to it the pace i agree uh all right so let's talk little friday. Black Eyed Susan, you'll see Randy Moss on TV.

We need some picks or any race that you like because we're going to take them.

You've never steered us wrong two times in a row.

You can't blame you for the Derby because I think everyone was like,

who the hell was that horse?

Was there any actual analyst out there that said, keep your eye on Rich Strike. This horse could make some noise.
I know no one's talked about him, but I like him. No.
No. Yeah.
It really was. I knew one guy who bet it, and it was one of our security guys, and he bet it, but then I looked at his hand.
He had every single horse. So I was like, all right, well, I mean, it's a good hit, but you also had every other horse.
I feel like Eddie O would show up after the race and be like, I actually had him. I had that guy.
Yeah. Yeah, well, there was somebody on our NBC announcing crew whose wife was at the Kentucky Derby who went up to make a bet on number two and accidentally made a bet on number 21 and wound up in the chips.
Wow. So that turned out to be pretty, you know, a pretty fun thing there.
It's either people just blindly betting on the longest shot on the board or it's people that kind of fall into it that way. Yeah, no, the guy I know who bet it, he went up and the teller was like, the only horse I haven't seen bet all day is number 21 he's like all right put put 20 bucks on it yeah so that's the exact same way exactly uh to me I think I'll give you a horse that I like in the black-eyed Susan it's a it's a local horse a Maryland horse you don't get that many of those that win the Preakness with the black-eyed Susan her name is Luna Bell she's won five races in a row and because She is a Maryland horse.
You don't get that many of those that win the Preakness or the Black Hat Susan. Her name is Luna Bell.
She's won five races in a row. And because she is a local horse and the out-of-towners are coming in, you might get a slightly better price.
You might get four to one, you might get nine to two. She's the second choice in the program line right now.
Now, as far as other races, here's what I'm going to do, right? Whereas at the Derby, we knew who was going to run a couple of weeks out the preakness we didn't really know until the entries came out and the past performances came out monday night so on some of the undercard races i'm still trying to formulate who i like and who i don't like but i'm going to text you big cat okay i'm gonna i'm gonna let you know all right when we get a little closer to to zero hour uh and then maybe you can share it with your millions and millions and millions of followers. I will tweet it out.
Yeah, we're going to be on a flight for an hour on Friday, so as long as we can, I think we'll be okay, but I will absolutely, I'm going to play the horses both days, so I'll absolutely tweet it out. Actually, let me ask you this real quick.
this is my last question, but you have kids. My daughter turns one on Saturday.
I think there's going to be a birthday party. I know there's going to be a birthday party.
There's something about having horse racing on at a one-year-old's birthday party that probably isn't the best look. How would you manage that when your kids were young uh take take your phone into the restroom at uh at frequent intervals people will think you've got some sort of a problem with your bladder but yeah it's probably the best way to do it i've actually been in that same position and that's what i did yeah because it's it's um you know my job is to watch sports so when we have you know family over friends or whatever and there's a football game on like oh okay you're doing your job something about horse racing people looking and they're like what why are you yelling at the tv at noon on a saturday it's like all right that's a little bit harder to explain now when you go into the bathroom and suddenly people hear you shouting and then you come out they'll look at you you kind of sideways.
Yeah, just make sure to wipe your nose a lot right when you get out of the bathroom. That should go really well.
I think I just got to go with what always works is if I win, then you don't have to apologize because if you win, you could have horse racing on all day, and if you're cashing tickets, no one can say anything. That's a good point.
Yeah. You can also be like, look, you love ponies.
Look at the ponies on the TV if you're cashing tickets, no one can say anything.

That's a good point.

Yeah.

You can also be like, look, you love ponies.

Look at the ponies on the TV.

Aren't they pretty?

Look at the pretty ponies.

We'll root for the Philly in the Preakness.

There you go.

Yeah.

Get the kids involved, right?

Yes.

Yes.

I got one last question, and this is probably a very dumb question, but do horses ever get endorse and sponsorships from like athletic company like has a horse ever been sponsored by nike no i don't i don't believe so uh riders have and i know there have been some owners that have uh that have pursued that sort of thing uh as far as succeeding to any great extent no uh but riders now you noticed you notice they have all sorts of emblems and logos and all that on their riding pants, and they'll be wearing the ball caps and things like that. So the jockeys take advantage of that way more than the horses do.
I just feel like that's the next step for sports marketing. That's how you get the kid's interest is you put a swoosh on the back of a horse, and all of sudden they're like oh i recognize that logo i like that horse or like nascar just put stickers on the horses as they're racing right you've got one on one side yeah sponsor the horses i like that yeah it would be very funny mugsy jeans on the horse's ass well randy thank you um good luck and i'm i'm looking out for that text I better get that text and I will tweet it out so everyone has it we'll say I'm going to tweet it out 10 minutes before whatever race it is so people have to be ready to go so that we don't you know I think people trust you so much that if I tweet out a Randy Moss pick, we could be betting like a one to two, and that would suck.

So you're going to tweet it out from the bathroom at your one-year-old's party, right?

Yes, exactly, exactly.

Just regular dad stuff, no big deal.

Okay.

Yeah.

All right, well, thanks so much, Randy, and everyone tune in Friday and Saturday.

Randy will be on TV.

We'd love to see him there. And thanks again, Randy.
See you, Randy. Everyone tune in Friday and Saturday.
Randy will be on TV. We'd love to see him there.
Thanks again, Randy. See you, Randy.
Yeah. Hockey is on.
And no matter the city, no matter the team, no matter the game, whether it's face-off or penalty shots regular season or playoffs win or lose no matter what happens no matter where it happens new amsterdam vodka is there now here's nick coletti and now for something completely. Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest.
He is a star on the internet. He's done TV shows.
I mean, you are a Vine star. That's what started everything, which we want to get into.
He's also a stand-up comedian. He's Nick Coletti.
People who are on the internet definitely know who you are. People who don't should because're absolutely hilarious and welcome to the show we got to start though with i gotta thank you i think you don't even know that we're gonna thank you but i'm gonna thank you okay so this show we've been doing the show for like six years now pft and i are a little older uh these guys the producers liam and hank are a little younger.
And the first moment where I was like,

I got to start listening to these guys when it comes to trends and things online

so that I can kind of keep, not young, but at least know what's going on,

was Sawdude.

It was.

It literally was.

They were like, you guys got to watch this kid.

He's so funny.

That's awesome.

And so thank you.

I appreciate it.

Yeah, no problem.

It reaffirmed that they know what they're talking about,

and you are hilarious.

Thank you.

I appreciate it. No problem.
It reaffirmed that they know what they're talking about, and you are hilarious. Thank you.
I appreciate that. I'm not that funny.
Well, can we talk about how that came about, the phenomenon? Are we allowed to swear and talk about crazy shit? Yes. Anything you want to say.
We were just stoned. That's pretty much it.
Yeah. Sick.
People think there's like this, yeah, this like formula to it, but it really was just like a high thought. Yeah.
Just acting stupid, smoking. Say no more.
Like, I get it. Like, we've all been there before.
My problem is sometimes when I have these high thoughts and I like, I start cracking up and I'm like, oh man, this is so funny. Yeah.
The second I say it outside of that immediate room that I'm in, outside of that same crew, I realize, wait a second, I was just really high. That's not actually that funny.
But in this case, it transcended it. Yeah.
It's the weird thing about the Internet. It's like sometimes it all just the stars align, and so a dude was born.
Yeah, so was there a moment where you were like, wait, this is actually picking up and people are using like idiot podcasters that are in their 30s are talking about we we literally posted the video and then the next morning i woke up and my friend was like dude it has three million views it's vine right yeah yeah uh getter he was the other like component of suddude and who's also part of real bros yeah from there it just like totally went crazy yeah i miss vine man i do i'm sure you do like like vine is vine was one of those things that was like almost too beautiful to have right you look back on it you're like it's it was so pure you had to be funny and and people like there was a lot of hate on vine stars i think at the time there were some ridiculous beings that got famous off Vine, for sure. Yeah.
But the fact that people were able to produce content that had to have a beginning, a middle, and an end and be engaging and entertaining within a six-second time period was actually good for creativity, I think. Oh, yeah.
Well, just that parameter kind of forces you to do stuff that you normally wouldn't try because you're constricted. What's your all-time favorite vine? My all-time favorite vine has to be, there's one that Casey Fry does.
There's two. There's an Evan Breen vine and a Casey Fry vine that I love.
I like the one, actually I think me and Big Cat made a vine out of the same moment, which was Jim Harbaugh talking to Jameis Winston about sex. He had a sex problem.
He was addicted to sex. He's a sex addict.
He's a sex addict. He's a sexer.
Is he a sexer? He is. He's a big-time sexer.
Are you still friends with Casey Frye? Yeah. And what's Hank? You just asked, because Hank is a big fan of yours as well.
No, I was just going to say, like, I love his dancing videos, and, like, obviously you guys are boys. Like, do you guys are boys like do you ever like you know practice with them like yo i should i should maybe start doing some dancing videos like i haven't i leave the dancing to casey i uh i've asked him for a couple i'm like hey how do you do the moonwalk and he'll like help me out with that but and he obviously like dances all the time yeah he's just like a dancing guy like because he makes.
Because sometimes you're like, he doesn't look like a dancer,

but then he's obviously like, this dude practices dancing. If he does, he'll go to the studio.

He treats it like...

He's great.

Great dancer.

He trains in the studio.

Yeah.

One thing I always was curious about, your Vines,

because they're so funny.

And you can watch them on YouTube.

There's compilations.

I think I saw a compilation that was like three hours long,

which is 15-second videos, three hours of them um but six seconds or six seconds yeah six seconds i was thinking uh what was that's correcting people 15 second was is instagram stories yeah yeah and i think tiktok's 15 yeah yeah right right so six seconds and uh a lot of them are you by yourself would you do a lot of your comedy where you're not around other people like do you i i like i like being around other people so i whenever i'm not around other people for a long time it's like oh i don't you know i'm trying to look for to like bounce off ideas and everything how are you able to do it just by yourself i think it's i think it's balance like exposing yourself to like a lot of people like real life to situation just to i mean you need shit to make fun of right so but then you can you know seclude yourself be alone and just kind of like let loose that was all when i lived at my parents house um i was like eight between 18 and like 21 so and just making the vines yeah just like waking up making like i'd make like three every day it's funny because like I'm more of like, I guess like I can tell if I'm writing something. I can tell if it's funny if I'm writing it.
But if I'm like doing a video, I can't tell just by, like I need other people to like see it to know like what works and what doesn't. Yeah, I'm the opposite.
Like I cannot write at all. So you just, you'll watch a video that you shoot and it'll like, will you laugh like before before you upload it i like if it gives me like a chuckle or i'm like haha like even that there's just enough to be like all right i'm gonna post because 90 of the time you post something that you think is hilarious and it gets no love yeah and then you post something that you think is just not funny at all and it like like so dude like i didn't think that was gonna be a thing at all um so it's really just like kind of trial and error what's the weirdest you know you were living in hollywood at that time right in la what was the weirdest like agent or someone who came up to you was like let's market saw dude i can do this this or this with it they uh actually i don't really know if there was that i I think we were going to do a vape juice brand deal.

Hell yeah.

Which I'm so glad that kind of didn't go through.

But I think that was the extent of like, we made merch.

That was.

Right.

We made a bunch of merch.

I just imagine some Hollywood agent being like, let's make a world tour movie about this.

Dude world tour.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Right.

It was.

Like Suddude cereal.

Yeah. Suddude cereal.
Yeah. Yeah yeah that actually sounds pretty good yeah frosted sus frosted dudes it's sus as hell uh that's funny are you uh you're a big mushroom guy right i am like actual mushrooms yeah like i don't know i don't want to put words in your mouth that you find and forage for.
Yeah. So I, this is like a recent thing.
I moved back to the East Coast and my cousins are all very into like foraging. So this is so funny that I'm like so into this, but I just like totally got into it.
Like there's these specific mushrooms, morels, they're like hard to find. So we just go and look in the woods, smoke Delta 8, find mushrooms.
Just try to find mushrooms. Where do you look for mushrooms? Where are they? They are around dead or dying elm trees.
This is like- No, I'm interested. Yeah, are you really? This is definitely interesting.
This is what the podcast is about. I mean, not a lot of people can walk in here being like, yeah, I just go look for mushrooms.
They're very hard to find. to find.
Like, well, not hard to find. They're, they're pretty, they don't look like any other mushroom, but they're rare.
So how many times you found them? I've found them twice. And are they, do they taste great? They taste delicious.
Really? They're amazing. Like, do you eat everything that you find or do you sell them? I eat, I definitely don't sell them.
That's like the most sustainable organic thing you could eat, right? Yeah. You picked it yourself.
I have a dumb question. When you pick them, are they like trippy mushrooms after you find them, or are they just normal? No, they're called delicacy mushrooms.
So you just cook them up with butter, and you can put a fucking steak. Steak's good with them.
When you found the jackpot of finding them, have you gone back to that spot? No. Really? I pillaged the whole supply.
They're all gone. Could you theoretically grow them yourself? Yeah, you could.
But it's not to say the hunt is part of it. Me and my cousin go in the woods throwing a zen.
I have my Delta 8 pen. That sounds awesome.
You want a zen? I got one three or six it's a six okay is that cool i haven't done the six so all right three i'm a three or two i go to the store that's right across the street almost every day i get my zen and the guy in there bullies me every time i go in he's like are you up to the sixes yet i'm like no just the three cousin said they sting they do sting a little bit last time i went in there the guy took out the threes there was a woman in line in front of me he saw me come then took out the threes, no, just the three. My cousin said they sting.
They do sting a little bit. Last time I went in there, the guy took out the threes.
There was a woman in line in front of me. He saw me come in, took out the threes, handed them to the woman in line in front of me and goes, here you go.
And she goes, I didn't ask for that. He goes, oh yeah, my mistake.
The threes, they're for him. He works for Big Z.
He works for Big Z. But he throws it in.
That's sick, yes. Hit the woods.
And this is around Pittsburgh, right?

Around the Berg, yeah.

Yeah, so there's like a very hilly and all that stuff.

It's prime time right now for morale.

Really?

I watched a documentary about mushrooms a couple months ago.

That's like the oldest thing that I've ever said.

I could not be more watched.

Just end the show after I said that sentence.

Can't recover from that.

But it was actually fantastic because this dude was talking about how mushrooms grow on the earth and how they actually act as the earth's central nervous system and they can like feel seasons changing and like temperatures changing and they actually help the earth adapt to it this guy might be full of shit but it like absolutely tripped me out yeah it was actually on shrooms when i found the morels so i think they can i think they can speak to each other whoa shit like work through you in a mysterious way are you sure are you sure that you found morels or was this all just like one big it's huge no it was definitely uh i definitely found them i definitely at the moment though i was like am i is it am i is this peaking too hard like is this yeah this is actually happening but they were good. Cooked them up.
What made you move away from L.A. back to Pittsburgh? I was just kind of like, I lived kind of by Malibu, by the beach, and no one else, none of my other friends lived there.
So it was like super lonely, and I was just like fucking, I'd rather be around my family. So my whole family lives in Pittsburgh.
You could have just moved closer to your friends. Right? But I only had like two friends anyway that I actually really enjoyed.
Who were they? Casey. Yeah.
And then my homegirl from Pittsburgh, Cassie. Okay.
Casey and Cassie. Oh, wow.
That's cool. It's easy to remember.
Yeah. Is the vibe like completely different in California? Were you somebody that moved out there and like you were able to like i don't know adjust to it or you you immediately dug it or is it just kind of like the hollywood phonies is that a real thing yeah for sure and uh i think i have a pretty good read on i mean being from the east coast like you can kind of call bullshit i think better than most people can so like my whole thing is like out here like you bump into someone you're like hey fuck you then it's over like la you bump into someone and then they fucking email you a list of reasons why they need to understand why it's just a totally different vibe yeah east coast i like the pace out here yeah a lot better the pace out there was weird it felt like like purgatory or some weird fucking shit.
It does feel like you're not living with the rest of the world when you're in LA. There's something about it.
Community is, I think, the word. There's really no sense of community.
That Zinn is kind of fucking you up, huh? Yeah, absolutely. You just get to move it around.
I saw you do the move around move where you're like, no, let's try it over here. Yeah, I'm getting it.
I'm getting it all around. That's i guess i have to have one if we're all gonna do it zen party god damn it wait so so are you gonna have to move you're gonna have to be back out to la for hopefully the last season of real bros right yeah i mean i'm that's a great thing about like the internet and shit like you can be remote i don't have to be anywhere i can catch a flight and go to LA whenever I need to work.
That's one of my favorite shows. We had Jimmy on three years ago the first time.
I think the first time we had him on, we pretended that we had watched it, but we didn't watch it. Then afterwards, I watched it.
I was like, holy fuck. This is the funniest thing ever.
I wish I had watched it before we first had him. That's saw it we've had him on like five times since then but that show is so god damn funny yeah he killed it with that shit and uh yeah him and Christian went above and beyond it's so I asked him cause he's from LA and a lot of the show I think goes against my fears I have fear of like California teenagers is that a? Like, when you see teenagers in California, you're like...
Like, do a 360, walk the other way. They just live life way faster than everyone else, it feels like.
Yeah. They're, like, skateboarding at four.
Right. Yep.
Right. Having sex at, like, 12.
Right. They have hats that cost more than my entire wardrobe.
Bored with weed by 14. Yeah, they're already on to like MDMA.
Yeah, right. Do you like- They're already on to Kratom.
Kratom. Have you gotten into Kratom? No.
Kratom's the worst. I haven't done it, but I've heard it helps you do your homework faster.
Oh, does it really? I think it's like a focus aid. I don't know about that.
Really? What does it do? I tried like half of a bottle of it. Oh, you spit it out.
Oh, can't hang. Can't hang.
I had to tap out. I'm buzzing super hard.
I tried like half a bottle of it last summer, and I sipped it. It tastes disgusting.
And then after I was done with it, I was like, there's no way that this should be legal. Did you feel high as fuck? Yeah, yeah yeah you feel like if you've ever had like uh wisdom tooth surgery they give you the vicodin or the perkins no way that's how it feels it felt like i was on opiate and i was like this is there's no way is it do they sell crack crate them around here yes oh okay do you know where yes but i don't want to tell you because i don't want to get you hooked on this stuff Crated out? Yeah, dude, it's a bad scene.
Yeah, my homegirl one time was like, we were going out and she was like, take this. And I was like, what the fuck is that? And she was like, it's crated out.
I was like, I'm good. I don't need that.
Yeah, it's weird. I feel like there are all these new designer drugs coming out recently that are just extremely similar to drugs that we know are illegal, but just like they change one molecule and then they wait for the fda to be like delta 10 yeah delta 10 uh sorry it's gone you should just make delta 8 like your own version of it but just call it delta 9 yeah well delta 9 is actual weed oh okay oh got it that makes sense so 8 and 10 are like the loophole But 9 is the real shit.
Delta 20. If you make Delta 20, that shit would sell.
Fuck it.

Delta 20. If you make Delta 20, that shit would sell.
Fuck it. Delta 100.
Oh, damn. You just outsold me.
Now, do you miss California weed? I'd imagine. It's good.
But I mean, I know people who can get good weed in Pittsburgh. So I'm not sure.
Plus, I really don't smoke. I feel like when I was smoking in California, I was trying to prove a point.
Like, I fucking smoke weed, dude. Now I'm just like, yeah, I like it.
I like to smoke. An appropriate amount.
Right. It's like a mature interest.
As you get through your 20s, weed stops becoming like you're defining personality trait. And it becomes just an activity.
Well, it's a fork in the road. It's like, is this going to be my entire personality trait or is it going to be just an activity? Am I going to be at the 311 tribute band backstage? Yes.
The answer is yes. Because I feel like you hit a point in your 30s where if you're going to be the weed is my personality guy, you just have to only hang out with weed is my personality.
Right. You have to own it.
Yeah. You just have to be around those people all the time.
How many 311 tribute bands do you think there are? They're called 420, and they just use that same font. Yes.
Probably like 100. Yes.
Yeah. That is sweet.
A 311 tribute band just sounds... It honestly sounds like an awful night.
Yes. There are certain tribute bands that I could go see and suspend disbelief for nights.
Yeah, like a Prince tribute band would be awesome. I went to go see a Queen tribute band one time.

Nice.

And the singer was incredible.

Sounded like Freddie Mercury.

That was an awesome evening, but like a 311 tribute band, I feel like.

That's what would make me reconsider some of my life choices.

Yes.

Yeah.

If I found myself there.

Spiked hair.

Yeah.

The dude looks just like Essay.

So you're on a stand-up tour right now.

I am.

You're not with like a whole crew.

I'm not.

Do you just go like your dates you're going uh i'm looking at your website right now you're in new york right now if you want to see nick he's going to iowa nebraska kansas city you're going everywhere back to new york so you're just traveling by yourself yeah i just do it you just show up i kind of like that yeah we've had some comedians on and like they have their yourself? Yeah, I just do it solo. You just show up? Mm-hmm.
I kind of like that. Yeah.
We've had some comedians on, and they have a pack of people. They're ground crew.
Yeah, right. That's cool, but I mean, my dad's always like, just be like an F-16 pilot, F-14 pilot, just solo.
F-16, F-14 has the Rio and the backseat of the Jester. Thank you.
F-16, single-seater. But I've really found that people are distracting and most of the time let you down yeah so i'm just like i'm just gonna do this myself i don't have to worry about people like fucking up their boarding pass because it's always stupid shit like that it's never like so it's it's been good i you know waking up at odd hours of the day but do you have friends in every one of these cities or no are you just some of them you're just that's i kind of like that yeah going to explore a city by yourself like a tourist yeah for the first it's i've seen like pretty much all of america and it's fucking like a blessing favorite place underrated that people don't think of oh god i don't know there's a lot of places like that uh texas was really cool because i always had this like um like image of what texas was going to be like and i went there and it was totally fulfilled like hats fucking people just had guns like everyone had a gun yeah um you kind of like that when your stereotypes are confirmed yeah you're like wow oh yeah everyone has a gun here that's sick everything is bigger yeah everything's huge everyone swear to God, everyone had a truck.
Everyone's got a truck, and they have the state of Texas flag on everything.

Yes.

Down there.

But I love that.

I was like, this is great.

The boots are a real thing, too.

I've got a pair of Cabo boots in Denver.

Okay.

Not in Texas.

So I'm part first pair.

Not in Texas.

What other places you went, and you're like, yep, this is-

Seattle was really cool. I like the Pacific Northwest yeah that's good I know I'm like so bad at that shit but uh that was cool everywhere's like you hear all these stories about parts of America being like weird or like pretty pretty much everywhere's like people just want to like you know it's everywhere's pretty normal like everyone yeah I also have a theory that if you go to a place and it's oh shit yeah last man swallowed it oh he swallowed it oh he swallowed that's not good it's a medical emergency I'm good oh Fight through it.
Fight through it, big cat. I think I swallowed the baguette.
When did you realize that you were funny? I still don't think I'm funny. I think I make myself laugh, but I don't think I'm objectively a hilarious person.
So do you ever go to shows and you're like, why are you guys all here? Yeah, I mean, there's definitely a sense of the whole imposter. Are you? Yeah, it's gone.
No, it's gone. You swallowed it? Yeah, I'm pretty sure I swallowed it.
That's good. Jesus.
It's good for your digestive system. Do they put fiberglass in that shit? Probably.
Damn it. I don't think the Zen industry is too closely regulated.
The problem is, the pouches I have are bigger. Those are so small that I just swallowed it.
Fuck. Did you really swallow it? Yes.
That's so bad. That was bad.
I wish it happened to Jake because he would check himself into poison control. I tip all the time, but their pouches are big.
That one is my first time I ever had Zen. It's so small, I didn't even notice it was going down my throat.
What happens? Well, now you're going to have the delayed release buzz all day. I'll be buzzing for the rest of the day.
This is going to be sick. But you basically just took Adderall.
Yeah, what I was going to say was, I have a theory that if you go to any city and the weather is nice on that day, it's the greatest place in the world. Yeah.
If you go to a place and it's 60 degrees and sunny you could go to like a place everyone would say is oh that's

a shitty place and you're there and you're like i can see myself living here yeah and then it's

obviously reverse if you're like if it's raining you're like god this place kind of sucks right

it's like do they have a shell so that i can get a bang energy at i'm cool yeah yeah yeah you really

like bang energy what do you

you like the models more

uh

I just like drinking bang

uh

I just like drinking bang

uh

I just like drinking bang

uh

I just like drinking bang

uh

I just like drinking bang

uh

I just like drinking bang

uh

I just like drinking bang

uh

I just like drinking bang

uh

I just like drinking bang

uh

I just like drinking bang

uh

I just like drinking bang

uh

I just like drinking bang

uh

I just like drinking bang

uh

I just like drinking bang

uh

I just like drinking bang

uh

I just like drinking bang

uh

I just like drinking bang

uh

I just like drinking bang

uh

I just like drinking bang

uh

I just like drinking bang

uh

I just like drinking bang

uh

I just like drinking bang

uh

I just like drinking bang

uh

I just get a bang energy at. I'm cool.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You really like bang energy.
You like the models more? I just like drinking bang. Yeah? I'll say it, yeah.
I'm a banger. What makes you be a bang guy and not a C4 guy? Because I'm a C4 guy.
Okay, I don't even know if this is true, but doesn't bang have creatine in there or some shit? It might. Super creatine? I think C4 has super i just know when i drink a bang i just do those extra reps yeah yeah you're a real workout fiend i've have been like i stopped drinking like uh it's gonna be three months soon so i just work out now because you just wanted to or yeah i was just like drinking too much okay yeah i'm i'm on I never know if I should be like, congrats on your sobriety? No, it's all good.
There's so much I still want to do with comedy, and I'm like, this isn't going to take me to where I want to be. Yes.
What do you want to do? What's next? I want to do movies. Adam Sandler is like, you can call him cheesy or whatever, but he's built a fucking yeah.
I definitely envy that. The thing I like about Adam Sandler is he's a very loyal dude.
He brought all his friends. David Spade.
They're taking care of. Rob Schneider.
Yes. Will you bring us? He's watching Dary Guest.
I totally will. You bring us.
I'll bring, yes. We're all going to Hollywood.
I'm the guy who's all the Zinn live on air. Zinn guy.
P.M. Poofed.
Poofed. This is ridiculous, by the way.
I'm on the Zen website. Is it bad? Trying to figure out what happens when you swallow a pouch.
I'm putting mine back in. I have to.
There you go. I'll take another one.
No. Maybe like, no, fuck it.
I've had to answer like nine questions, enter in like password. I had to register for an account to get to the website to see what happens.
I kind of feel like a badass. I just swallowed it.
You kind of are. You're an outlaw.
It is way too small. I have to imagine people swallow this all the time.
But they get you buzzed. Yeah.
They do. It's like small.
We're going to put like 18 plus on this episode. FAQs.
Do you think there will ever be a point where Jimmy gets so big he won't return your call?

Yeah.

Yeah.

He's there already.

You think so?

Calm.

I said, Jimmy, this is my son.

Calm.

Name him.

I said, Jimmy, this is my son.

Name him.

Nothing.

FaceTime him.

Let's see if he responds.

This would be great.

While Zen nicotine pouches aren't intended to be swallowed, the nicotine and other food

grade ingredients found in Zen are not harmful to adults if consumed in small quantities.

Thank you. Right? That's true.
That would hurt. would hurt oh wow facetime's funny because sometimes we get like nine rings and then it's like connecting yeah he's probably on set he's probably with like kevin hart or some shit all right kevin hart should i try hard answers jimmy's face i was like you got a project i'll do it it.
The rock is in the background holding Kevin. I feel like they just travel together all the time.
Right? They're in everything. They make a bigger person when Kevin gets on Dwayne's shoulders.
Yeah, that's what me and Big Cat do, too. They're going to make a super actor.
I know. I'd be sad.
We shouldn't tell him we were together. That's true.
See who he calls back first. We're just going to do this for the next three hours.
He's just going to ghost both of us. He is too big time now.
It's not a big deal. I actually wrote down some topics that I wanted to discuss.
All right, let's go. Yes, beautiful.
Love it. Okay.
Came prepared. This is great.
Oh, wait. Jimmy's calling me back.
Oh, shit. He didn't pick up me.
He closed the podcast to call you. What's up, brother? I'm on part of my take.
I wanted to FaceTime you. They wanted to say what's up.
Part of my take. You didn't pick up.
Oh, my God. What's up? How are we doing, Jimmy? How are we doing, boys? Good.
Good. Good.
Look at Hollywood. Where are you at? I'm, um, yeah, man.
Put it on the mic. I'm at an appointment.
I'm about to see what I'm allergic to. Oh, okay, damn.
What? Yeah, I'm about to get pricked by an allergist, you know, see what's causing all these allergies. It might be the cocaine.
What? Oh, nothing. Nothing.
You can just say plastic surgeon, Jimmy.

It's not a big deal.

We know you're a Hollywood actor.

Are you in New York right now?

Yeah, yeah.

Are you on a stand-up tour?

Yeah, I am.

How's it going?

It's going great, dude.

Trying to heal the world one joke at a time.

I love that. Thank you, Jimmy.
I love you, dude. I love that.
I'm good, man. I'm in LA.
We just pitched Real Bros to some networks. Yeah.
Oh, name the names. And, you know, we're still hoping for the best here.
We're still waiting to hear back. That's awesome.
Someone pick it up. Yeah.
Yeah, and we're going to be a cameo. We're going to get a cameo in it.
Yeah, hell yeah. Yeah.
You have to. I want to be the guy that sells fake weed.
Yeah. They're making a cameo in season four.
Yes. Yes.
Hell yeah. Yes.
I want to break my ankle on a skateboard. What did he say? He wants to break his ankle on a skateboard.
I'm cool with that. Okay, perfect, perfect Alright, you can let him go, I feel bad Hey man, have a great appointment, we love you Love you guys Alright, see you Jimmy See you Jimmy Oh shit We were talking to Jimmy about how Real Bros is on Every single streaming service last time? Is it actually?

Every season's in a different place.

But I hope what they do with this series of pitches, I hope that

every network picks it up

and I hope every episode is on

a different network. So just like

finally check all the boxes off.

That would be awesome. They should do that with Harry Potter because it's like

a magical idea.

So what topics do you have? I actually don't know if I can talk about one. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or anything.
No, you can talk about all. Yeah, whatever.
All right. Farting on the hot seat.
I thought that was hilarious. Thank you.
The farting soccer player. Oh, you listened to the last episode.
Yeah, yeah. Nice.
Is that the only one you listen to? I listened to some clips. Okay, nice.
Nice. You did your research.
Got it. I did.

What did you think about Billy's question to Ryan Whitney?

I didn't get that far.

Okay, all right.

So you listened to 20 minutes.

I got to the Raising Cane's ad read.

Okay, got it.

Shout out Raising Cane's. Is there a Raising Cane's in New York?

Soon to be in Times Square.

Okay, cool.

Nice.

Yeah, I have a whole list here.

Visible, I've worked with them.

Cool. Cool company.
I was like like we have something in common yep um what's the other thing this is very costanza like oh oh on the way here i saw a lot of fixed gear bikes and girls with mullets whoa okay so i just wanted i wanted to just say that no oh okay like i walk right I'm staying like in Times Square. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
But I've never actually walked around New York. So this is all the fix your bike thing is all like a total culture shock.
When you come to new cities by yourself, do you do like touristy stuff? Yeah. Well, I guess not like a bus tour or something, but I'll just go walk around and kind of just get like the perspective of a person person walking a city is my favorite thing it's awesome it really is like just picking a direction being like i'm just gonna walk this way i take this in out no mushrooms you did i'm on 12 wait are these sixes these are sixes i'm on 12 but i mean you're on 12 with like factorial because you swallowed one i should be way more nervous but i mean i do consume a lot of nic, so I'm fine.
I'm putting mine back in. Does nicotine fuck with muscle growth? You're asking the wrong guy.
Yeah, Billy would know about that. I think it...
I'm trying to get huge. So I used...
I did dip when I was working out the other day. That was a bad idea.
But then Billy, the guy that's our personal trainer, he's a big fitness guru, he was talking about how it constricts your blood vessels and gives you better pump.

But Billy thinks anything gives you better pump.

Yeah, okay.

Wait, is that it?

Was that the whole list?

Oh, no, I had some other stuff.

Yeah, let's get in.

Hey, what's going on there, pal?

We saw you at the hockey game on.

Do I know you guys?

I'm Ryan Whitney.

I got a drink named after me.

Not a big deal.

Pink Whitney?

That's what I thought.

See you, fellas. I invented the thing, you pigeon.
Pink Whitney for legendary moments. A Q-zip? All right.
A quarter zip like weed? Yeah, Q-zip. Wow, you just said Q-zip to me? We say it every episode, and I was like, wait, what does the Q stand for? Quarter.
Yeah, I know. Yeah, quarter zip.
A weed? Is that a name for an amount of marijuana? No, a zip is like an ounce. Yeah.
Okay. That's a way cool term to use.
I've never been cool enough to say that. Q-zip would be a quarter of an ounce.
Yeah. Okay.
So ounce is what? 32 grams? We probably have both for you. Q-zip and the Q-zip.
Thank you, Hank. Two-eighths weed legal here? Pretty much.
Okay. In Jersey.
I went out of, on Times Square, there was a little shop and they just gave me weed. You can smoke weed.
Those are the fakeest, like, they have the big, like, trucks with, like, weed on them but they don't actually sell. You probably didn't buy weed.
You bought Spice. You bought K2.
No, my back did hurt after I hit that shit. My back's been hurting, like, all day.
I feel like we haven't heard about somebody smoking spice and jumping through a window recently. That was real hot for like...
That was like a 2009 thing. Yeah, Chandler Jones did it.
Remember bath salts? Yeah. Do you know anyone that ever took bath salts and had a good time? Mm-mm.
Every time somebody took bath salts, they'd get arrested. The craziest one was...
Remember Crocodile? Yeah. Crocodile was in Russia and then also parts of Missouri and Illinois where it was essentially, I think people were putting gasoline into their body.
It was like gasoline and vodka with a needle. It would give you scales.
It would basically ruin your skin. Your skin would fall off.
Not good. Didn't Steve steve will do it used to do crazy shit like that yeah drink a bunch of oh he would do anything did he ever do crocodile or jankum did he ever do jankum i don't know if he did jankum you probably try jankum he definitely jankum is the uh poop it's poop right yeah i think i think nick told me about that we met steve will do it really dan bilzarian's house no how about that for a sentence yeah that's like that's like uh what's that thing called madlib yeah it's like a madlib la madlib yes i met blank at yeah dan bilzarian's house there's so many of those drugs that i hear about and i think think to myself, why do people ever try it for the first time?

Why would anybody try crack for the first time?

I don't get it.

Why would anybody inject crocodile for the first time?

Yeah.

Right?

There was one dude who did it for the first time. Who made it.

Yeah.

The Johnny Appleseed of crack.

Right.

Oh, there's a CIA.

Johnny Crackleseed.

Yeah.

All right, so what else is on your list? My cousin told me to say Marty Mush. Okay.
All right. Next topic.
Yeah, we'll go on. Is that a thing? Yeah, kind of.
Okay. By the time it's there, it's been past the whole thing.
Oh, okay. Yeah.
What was the whole? I don't even know. He just told me to say that he's a guy who works here okay yeah all right what else you got hard 75 oh i've i've tried i well no i think i haven't gotten more than a day in but hard 75 is it's like you know how essentially i'm a bigger guy every now and then i'm like i'm gonna get back in shape and I look for like a new program that will motivate me I found hard 75 it was like every day you have to work out twice you have to walk 90 minutes you have to read 10 pages of book and you have to take a cold shower and it's hard I've only done one day I did medium 75 I to do 75 i did medium 75 yeah i did like i definitely it's like no cheat meals too yeah so i fucked that up super bad you can tell that we're real voracious readers because i think big cat just said like you have to read 10 pages of book i did everything else yeah i did everything else i worked out for like five hours and then we got to the 10 pages of a book and i was like nope yeah too hard i think i did two days of actual reading yeah i tried to read uh the richest man in babylon learn about some finances yeah okay i do i do a thing where i just buy books okay so but i don't read them you girls come over you're like i'm an avid reader yeah i'm just like what are you reading right now books yeah it's just one of.
We used to read a lot more as a society back when we didn't have cell phones when we'd

take shits.

Yeah.

You would read anything by the toilet.

You would read like a shampoo bottle.

I used to do that.

Yeah, shampoo bottles.

I can tell you like how to rinse for Pete the whole nine yards.

Stupid like Bloomingdale's magazine.

Xanthan gum.

Xanthan gum was a real-

Ingredients.

That was in everything.

Totally.

Yeah, we just don't read.

We just look at our phones now. Yeah.
Oh, okay. Is there i mean it's been awesome yeah we appreciate you coming in i appreciate you being here i hope you know like in terms of guests we have a lot of guests who come through here you are high on the list of people hitting me up being like yo is nicoletti coming in i fucking had a great time i really appreciate you have a lot of fans big in this office.
Thank you. Yes.
That means a lot. Yes.
Go check out his live show. Yes.
Check me out. How would you describe your live show? Just comedy.
Got it. Do you like to laugh? Don't need much more than that.
It's not like me. I think people think it's going to be me doing the whole- I took mine out.
You got to swallow it. I'm done.
People think it's going to be me doing like Vine stuff or like, but I actually have like a stand up act and like jokes that I've written. So it's all right.
I think. Yeah.
Go check it out. Can you do like, this is part of my take.
So dude, sure. This is part of my take it's the perfect ending

it's become yeah bookmark because I swear

to God like five years ago it was

like the first thing they were like hey

you should check this out this kid is fucking hilarious

I appreciate it do you get sick of that do you

like that that whole meme from

the Simpsons say the line say the line

yeah it's honestly I

just I there was a point where I was like

yeah this is like a little too much but it's a

it's a fucking blessing I if it

makes someone happy I'm like sure dude I'll do yeah

Thank you Yeah I appreciate that Well Nick Coletti Thank you Everyone check it out What's your website again? Nickcoletti. Okay.
Thank you. Yeah.
I appreciate that. Well, Nick Coletti.

Thank you.

Everyone.

Check it out.

What's your website again?

Nick Coletti dot com.

Easy as could be.

Yep.

Check out his comedy.

He'll be everywhere.

I just looked.

It was literally everywhere.

Okay.

Spring and summer.

All right.

I don't even know if you know that.

I don't know.

It's a it's it's an extensive list.

So, yeah.

Nick Coletti dot com.

Yeah. Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you, man.

Appreciate it.

Hey, it's Rhea from Chicks in the office.

It's officially mini skort season and Abercrombie has the ones to go out in. Thank you.
Thank you, man. Appreciate it.
Hey, it's Rhea from Chicks in the Office.

It's officially mini skort season, and Abercrombie has the ones to go out in.

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It's one of those skirts that fits the outfit vibe for any plans.

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Shop their newest arrivals in-store and online. Okay wrap up fire fest of the week hank yes go i have a couple okay uh do you want my the least relatable fire fest of all time or a relatable one the least one you're you're let me guess you know what it is your mercedes broke down no No, I was going to say, you're, you're trying to chase the high of Tom Brady sucking your dick online and, and the Jumbotron at the Celtics game.
And like life just doesn't, roses don't smell as sweet. It is Celtics Jumbotron Parquet related.
Yep. You know, that's why it's not relatable.
Oh, I know this one. But i do take film photos with my camera uh and marcus smart came over to towards us after the game we were sitting next to like someone in his representation or whatever and his and his fiance or wife and they're like oh let's take a picture and i was holding my camera and marcus smart was like oh shit he's got the camera and so we took a picture on the cell phone he no, no, you've got to get one with the camera.
So I was fucking pumped, and I just handed it off to the guy that took the cell phone picture, and the camera was out of focus, but it was a quick thing. He kind of messed up the settings, took the picture, and it just came out super, super blurry.
So it's almost worse because it's right there, and if the picture was in focus, it would be an all-time picture. All time.
So, wait, just to clarify, your Fyre Fest is that... I told you.
I warned you. I warned you guys.
Even though your first picture turned out great. Oh, yeah, it's totally fine.
Which he posted onto his own Instagram and onto Twitter and tagged you in it. That one was fine.
It's not film. But the film one is a little blurry.
You don't understand. You're not a filmmaker.
If you're upset with me, I did reference this, that it's the least relatable fire festival. That's true.
It still is going to anger people. It stings.
No, it'll anger people because Hank's right. That sucks.
It does. I'm sorry.
It's brutal, dude. I'm sorry this is happening.
There's a high that I get. It truly is.
It's kind of crazy that taking film photos. All my photographer AWLs out there, I'm sure there's a bunch.
But you take film photos and you get the email. It's like your photos are ready and you don't know because when you take them, you don't know if they come out good or not.
So it's a very exciting feeling to look through them and see which ones are good, which ones aren't and getting to that latin it was the last picture of my camera roll so i was like scrolling through so nervous so excited and then getting to it and it was just blurry was just pain that's tough that's brutal but we do have the cell phone one he did post on his that is true and so and on twitter yeah and tag so what your second fire fest is it that you have to pay more taxes now that you're in the c-suite and you make $10 million a year? No, that's not it. I don't pay taxes.
Oh, denied one of those things. No, Hank's a sovereign citizen.
My internet, it's just absolutely mangled. I've troubleshooted it.
I've unplugged it, plugged it back in, rebooted it. Have you checked for squirrels? I have not checked for squirrels.
That's what it felt like, that was i've been in that mode this week where it's like my internet's fucked up i don't know the reason why i don't know what i can do to fix it for people who don't know that reference barstool sports back in the day our whole entire company almost came down because a squirrel was eating the wires in the main office it could have been we could all just been not sitting here right now if that squirrel had finished the job and it came back yeah like we had it we like eventually it was like my like i would get screamed at for the internet not working and literally like finally i go back find the router and there's like it's chewed through by squirrels and then we like fix it we thought we set it up two months later it happens again and meanwhile i literally every day like dave is just yelling at me like why is the internet fucked up like i don't fucking know. I'm not an internet guy.
And I go, and it's literally the squirrels. And I would be like, it's the squirrels.
That's a real conversation that would happen, which is crazy thinking back. But that happened on a regular basis.
Like, are the squirrels back? Yeah. This is basically the business insider spent countless hours and days and resources to try to bring us down.
And a squirrel could have done it. Yeah.
They don't realize. He's a little bitch, that squirrel.
It could have brought a squirrel into the office and probably taken us out. How long do you think it would take if everyone's internet went down? Like the world's internet went down.
How long until utter chaos ensues? I think it would be. Not long.
Yeah, I'd say under 10 minutes. Because people would probably run to ATMs, Run to the streets And then the ATMs Wouldn't work Traffic lights would get fucked up They're hooked up to the Cloud probably I got cloud problems Yeah Yeah I'm pretty I'm pretty sure it's just like Every man for himself Yes After about 9 minutes Yes So yeah it's just painful I can't like play Warzone I can't watch apps Damn Like it's just It's a struggle Sorry You have to use your imagination Cring off sorry or watch on cable like softcore gross Little little belly button fucking yeah, ooh silk stockings on back of the day watching you fritz RIP I believe That's it.
That's an old hank sorry okay ryan uh your fire fest of the week so uh i've been seeing this guy and it's i mean this is long term and you know like in every relationship there's always somebody the relationship seems to matter a lot more to no matter who you are you can get along happily married there's always somebody the relationship seems to matter a lot more to yeah like no matter who you are you can get along happily married there's always somebody that has the 51 49 split and sometimes that splits even greater and it's getting to the point where like i don't want to say like i'm not i'm not trying to be a victim in this but like you can care about somebody for so long and then you wonder I don't think this person cares about the relationship as much as I do my friends are starting to ask questions things that I maybe have been blind about because I care so much it's just a lot of people close to me reaching out and asking and I just don't know if I can go another year with Chris Paul. Yeah.
Ryan, how many texts have you received from people just being like, are you all right? Are you doing good? Way more than I ever would have thought. Way more.
So one part of it, it's positive that you're like, man, I do have a lot of friends. And the other part is negative.
It's like people think I'm this messed up. Like some people were like, I didn't reach out immediately because I just wanted to give it 48 hours.
Well, I, it sounds like it's been a tough week. I guess I could just say one silver lining is he was injured.
He was injured. And I just know if he's not, it can me different.
Next time. Next time.
There's always next time. But I don't know.
Is that just me? Is that just me thinking like, hey, if things were different, if he didn't drink as much, you know, if he didn't golf all the time, would it be different? And I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know what to do. Damn.
Ryan, it's not you. It's him.
Yeah. Yeah.
I think that's fair. It's him.
It is him. Because I know I'm doing everything I can.
Yeah, you are. Too much sometimes.
You've gone out of your way to accommodate him in this relationship. Right.
Exactly. And frankly, he has not shown you the respect.
If not for him, if he doesn't want it for himself, if he's fine with having no rings and choking away all these big leads in the playoffs, five, five times, just not showing up ever in the NBA playoffs. I'm doing it again.
I'm doing it again. If he's, if he's fine with that for himself, he should at least know that there's a man out there that believes in him so much that he's basically made it his entire brand to be you're like a random burner account on Twitter like Chris Paul number one stan ultimate defender.
That's what you've gone to the lengths to brand yourself as. And if he doesn't respect you enough to show up for you, then I think it's best that you're just going your separate ways and that you're alone.
He doesn't deserve you, Ryan. That's what my friends keep saying.
Yeah. You can do so much better.
If I could, though, for just a moment, permission to be candid granted, can I push back a little bit on that number one Stan branding that you were throwing at me?

Because I think that's some of the biggest loser comment we see on the Internet.

Where I think I've been very pro Chris Paul.

I don't know that I do one of those, like, every time somebody does something, I do a Legault tweet.

So, yes, I've been supportive, but, you know. Ryan, listen.
I don't know. Am I making excuses? I'm going to leave you with one thing.
Have you thought about maybe it's a big world out there. There's a lot of guys out there.
Have you thought about rooting for a winner like Patrick Beverly?

Oh, he's still hurt.

Maybe it would make Chris mad.

Maybe he'd finally start caring.

You need a rebound.

You should become a Pat Bev stan,

and then Chris Paul will use that as motivation to finally win something in his life.

Honestly, a lot of us don't know what we have until it's gone.

Yeah.

I just don't know if I could do that to Chris at this age.

You got to.

You have to, Ryan, for your own sake.

Yeah.

He doesn't deserve you. Like, Pat, Pat Bev made some good points, even on the second day.

All right.

Well, thank you, Ryan.

We appreciate it, and we're always here for you, man.

Yeah.

Just out of curiosity, one got to go.

Chris Paul, LeBron James, Kyrie Irving, Giannis. One got to go.
One got to go. Shelter, water, companionship.
We know what I got rid of. Yes, yes.
All right, thank you, Ryan. Okay, PFT, what's your fire fest? It's kind of a group fire fest for all of us.
Oh, okay. And you might have seen these videos earlier this week on social media.
We've found ourselves into a jeans ripping problem on this podcast. Oh, there's a problem.
It's kind of a problem because now it's just sneak attack on jeans. It's very funny.
So originally it started as a social media trend that billy spotted he wanted to reenact we yes staged a few of them because they're funny to see somebody's pants get ripped off but now people's pants are actually getting ripped like impromptu it was the most obvious conclusion oh it was yeah no no i'm saying no i'm saying like the fact that billy was like hey we got to do these videos and the first couple were he volunteered himself he volunteered himself but it was so obviously going to end up at this point where it became real that we were actually trying to rip each other's jeans off our ass so now it's like you got to be careful you have to bring like a backup pair of pants to the office and uh everyone's looking over their shoulder all the time it's going to end it's going to end poorly i don't know how it's going to end but i just know that no one's going to be happy and we're going to get into a small fight about it and then it's going to be no more pants ripping correct it's it's the ball taps all over again correct absolutely that's where we're at right now um also my balls got shown online in one of the videos and billy told me that he had edited out but he very clearly did not edit out my testicles yeah so um hand up my balls are out there what were you gonna say about billy hank oh so do you want to explain where he is and i'll give oh yeah well it's just funny it's just a very it's a very billy yeah he's on uh we're doing a most dangerous game show for barstool where a bunch of people are going in the woods filming a show it's going to be great well every AWL should watch and root for Billy it made me laugh that Billy tweeted out like going to the woods for a week no cell service like basically making himself seem like the hardest dude ever and that he was like going to go find himself just leaving out the part that it was his job and he's going forstool, and he's going to be sleeping inside of a house the whole time. No, they're staying intense.
Oh, okay. It's like if you win challenges, you might get a night in the house.
He did make it seem like he was Henry David Thoreau going to Walden Pond. Correct.
He's like, I'm going to be here. I'll reemerge in town once every six months to sell some beans, then back to the woods for me.
Lewis and Clark. Yeah.
I'm just going to go find myself. He's competing in a reality competition.
And if he wins, he gets money. And he also tried to get me to pay for his new foot shoes, which was an all-time Billy conversation where he's like, hey, can I expense these new, what are they called? Toe shoes.
Toe shoes. And I was like, for what? He's like, for this show we're doing, it's going to be on Barstool.
And I was like, are you going to wear those toe shoes after? And he's like, yeah. So Billy did leave behind his last will and testament in the studio.
He signed it and everything, so it's legit. It simply says, if I die, put me with Harambe.
Low key? Billy. There's no low key on there.
Oh, then I don't believe it's Billy. Elaborate signature from Billy on there then i don't believe it's billy elaborate signature from billy on there i don't believe it's billy so logan uh he like runs all the barcelority shows he was kind of casting it and and they told every contestant it's gonna be like you know you're gonna be living outdoors it's kind of gonna be like fear factor-esque just know that before you say yes billy said yes like right off the bat was like i'm in then he kind of called me and they're like we need like three or four more people uh we need someone that like you know knows the game knows the strategy I was like oh maybe Jake Jake could be good I like kind of like put not the full court pressure but I was like Jake you should do this it'll be good blah blah blah he was like oh I don't know like it's kind of like I don't really want to do it.
It's a little bit outside my comfort zone. It's like, fine, no worries.
Billy, after immediately saying yes, when he was, like, finding out what the challenges were or, like, what they might be, he started freaking out. Because it was funny because I tweeted about it today and everyone was like, oh, Billy's going to win this.
Wild Bill, Wild Bill, Wild Bill. Yeah, right.
Meanwhile, he has been, like, freaking out about, like, what these challenges are going to be. Like, but, like, Jake, I, like, was like, you know, I want you to do this, but if you don't want to, that's fine.
He was like, yeah, you know, I just don't, like, I'll let you explain it. I also knew it would be Heat Celtics.
Right. So that kind of worked out.
But, like, it was very, like, he had way more pressure on him to do it, and he still said no, which is, like, very respectable. No worries.
Billy said yes, and then after saying yes, it was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Are we going to be doing scary stuff like bugs? It's like, yes.
That's exactly what you signed up for. What kind of woods did he think he was going to where there would be no bugs? It's going to be very funny to see how he actually does on the show.
I actually can't wait because everyone's like, oh, Wild Bill. Billy lived in the bunker, all this stuff.
But he has been freaking out. Yeah, no.
I had a little interaction this morning because they were all here getting ready to leave. And he was wearing his toe shoes.
And I was talking with him and little Sass. And Billy was like, I already have a leg up because I have these toe shoes.
I don't have to take them off. And Sass was what do you mean you don't have to take them off and i was like are you not gonna take them off to sleep he's like why would i it's like what what why wouldn't you when billy puts his toe shoes on he thinks that they're completely form-fitting yeah and that he doesn't like remember he showers with them all at home yes it's like his special power it's like his that's his version of superman.
Imagine if he cries. When Billy's got the toe shoes on, he's in war mode.
I think Billy and Sass are like, they're both the most likely to freak out and just not do a challenge. But Sass at least knows that he has a reputation of like, oh, I don't want to, like complaining.
So he combats it with intentionally not complaining. I don't think Billy realizes that like, he will complain and be like, I don't want to like complaining so he combats it with intentionally not complaining i don't think billy realizes that like he will complain and and be like i don't want to do this and then they're going to put it in the video and everyone's gonna be like what wild bill maybe not that's the thing maybe he'll he'll be ready to roll war mode i could also see but i can't wait like it's going to be it's going to be great theater later on this Shout out Nicoletti.
He's probably going to be foraging for mushrooms out there. Billy might get his hands on one of those Angel of Death ones and end up in the hospital.
Also, one reason why I can't. I love these types of shows.
I'm a huge Survivor fan. Subscribe to Snuff and Torches.
But I also know I wouldn't be good because I cannot lie. I just wouldn't be able to lie to get my way through the game.
Billy could do that well. Yes.
Well, he can do it. I don't know if he can do it well.
That's true. No, he definitely can't lie well.
That's what I'm saying. I couldn't get through it because I just couldn't.
No, his parents grew up watching golf on mute. That's a fact.
With Billy, it's more about the quantity of the lies than it is the quality of them. Yes.
He just figures if he lies about literally everything, a couple of them are going to fly under the radar. He won't be afraid to throw someone under the bus.
Yes, yes. Will it work? We don't know.
My fire fest, it was very public, but I broke my phone. No case, gang.
I then got caught in basically like eight hours being outside of the cloud, not being able to get back in. It was torture.
I had to go to the Apple store twice oh my god yeah twice well i walked a long walk genius bar appointment mile and a half yeah i had to make two separate genius bar appointments they locked me out of the iCloud couldn't get in all my fucking i thought i was gonna lose all my pictures of my kids and everything finally got it but um hank tried to like he was like maybe you should have a case no i i said it to you every day listen the only one time every time you do the nose case gang it's like why the only person could have avoided the situation yeah me a case no me the only thing that needs to be blamed in this entire thing because it was torture like pft you said like what would happen if you didn't get on the internet for 10 minutes i didn't have my phone for eight hours and it was i wanted to kill myself and um i just need to be better with my reflex betterhelp.com i i dropped i dropped it getting out of my car and it it fell and i did the kick save and i fucking missed it it's just a total 100 hand up on me i have to be better i agree with that because if if you have a phone that is not protected which I have had in the past you get great at the kick save correct it becomes like a force of habit like you can drop your phone from no matter the distance it doesn't matter and you just stick your toe out the last second as long as it deflects off the top of your foot before it hits the ground you're good to go right yeah that's I don't think that that's a flaw in you not having a phone case right i think your foot was just slow exactly i think your foot speed it was a wake-up call of like my athleticism like you got to get you got to get yourself back to like peak agility yeah and just i want to just throw this out there because hank you can back it up a lot of people be like oh you don't have a case because you have money i wrote that blog in like 2013 when i had just i was smashing phones left and right and it cost me a lot of money i so i've been no case for a very long time it is not a money thing it's just a thrill thing it's a gamble every day when you wake up knowing this could be the last day of your phone's life it does it objectively feels better too yes i do miss just the metal going on. I got this new phone.
It's a little bit bigger. I've got the case on it now.
And I feel like my opinions are filtered because my thumbs have to work through a case whenever I'm typing something in. I also love doing the kick save when I'm going to the refrigerator and a pickle jar falls out.
And on its way down, I'll do that. I'll just stick my toe out at the last second.
It's just a thrilling moment i feel like it was like the iphone 4s or 5s the ones where it was like all glass where every single time you dropped it they would break yes yes it actually i used to go through like yes so it's gotten better the phones have gotten better this was a clean like five foot drop on cement okay jake your fire fest of the week. Let's wrap it up.

Yeah, so we already talked about the nut tapping.

Let's talk about it more.

Yeah, I have one.

I can save it for next week.

No, no, no. Give it to us.

Just one nut left.

No, Jack, come on.

Yeah, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

You're a bad guy.

You're a bad guy.

No, you're a bad guy.

You're a bad guy.

I'm a content machine.

You're a bad guy.

I suggested doing a bench press.

No one's going to get hurt doing a bench press unless you're building. I already was hurt, though.
Yeah, torn labrum. Right, so you would have been exempt.
Oh, okay. What happened, actually? Big Cat was like, no, that's a lame idea.
Corporate Hank, you're a pussy. Let's do a fucking ball smashing.
Well, Hank's worried about insurance rates for the company. Like, wow, that's a class action lawsuit.
I can't have that on my bottom line. Listen, I know what the people want, and I give the people what they want.
Now you're making me feel bad for it. Well, because you went too hard.
No, no, no. Hank, here's the thing.
I suppose fine. I think the Gene sound effect is a big factor.
I agree. Thank you, Jake.
Hank, this is all... Hank sits on the throne of lies.
Because right afterwards, right after the nuttap... You can see my reaction.
Hank, will you shut up? Mute your own microphone because right afterwards right after the nut tap you could see my reaction hank will you shut up mute your own microphone hank right after the nut tap hank's initial reaction was oh my god no i i can't believe i did that i'm so sorry oh fuck i hit him way way way too hard but then hank gets like five minutes to start thinking about it and he starts deluding himself telling him all the reasons why it actually wasn't that bad when in the moment you knew that you fucked up. I put my hands up like, was that too hard? Did I do that? I don't see.
This is where it's like, what am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do? What was I supposed to do? How could I have done it any differently? You should have sucked him off. If you had been a real friend.
Use your left hand, maybe. Yeah.
All right, Jake. Give us your real fire fest.

Yeah.

So this has to do with you guys as well.

Oh, no.

So my Twitter account used to not be my Twitter account.

I don't believe that.

What do you mean?

It says PMT Sports Biz right there.

Right.

I don't believe that.

It's verified.

So before.

It is verified.

Yeah, it's verified.

I have the receipt of when it became verified.

It was March Madness 2021.

First day of the tournament. Anyways.
At first, it was Blake. What a gift, of course.
Who won that day? 16 teams advanced. Nice.
I think Oral Roberts over Ohio State. Yeah, that sounds right.
At first it was Blake Borrell's Wikipedia. Uh-huh.
And then. Classic.
Yeah, and then it was Billy 1.0 when he was your first intern. The account was PMT Nutrition.
Yeah. Right.
and then it was uh billy 1.0 when he was your first intern the account was pmt nutrition yeah right and then it was me uh starting june 3rd 2020 wow you really 2019 2019 yeah so like this is great because jake is like so buttoned up and knows exactly the dates i saw the tweet and i was like i had an old like i had never even thought i know that these are all moments that happened in my own life but i just don't even remember that like billy had that account for a while right so allegedly but it said your name on it it did it did but i have a psa that's not me but what i'm gonna do is i'm gonna do so wait wait, what are the tweets in question? So I saw that. I deleted that.
I saw any rap lyrics. I saw a tweet of yours resurfaced and I couldn't believe it.
So I retweeted it thinking, wow, I can't believe anything before. Well, the tweet was a picture of Billy wearing a suit and a tie on presentation day.
And then Jake's reply to it. Don't use the word.
Jake's reply to it was, at this f-u-c-k-i-n nerd yeah so it was billy anything before june 2019 is not me but i found some other ones that look really funny as if it's me so i'm going to become like the chargers pf changs oh yeah so ready because this is in me just think of my avatar my check mark my name it's you my mom is pissed i'm on twitter so much nowadays she got mad and is taking my phone away last tweet till idk when he definitely blamed us this is when we so what happened with actually trouble was like they're making me tweet that's what he did was does with tiktok actually yeah oh he does going back no he's like yeah you guys i like he gets mad at us he's like this is july 1st 2017 i'm on tiktok too much he's like well it's because i have to for my job knowing what we know now about billy he definitely just wanted to take like three days away and just go get hammered drunk yeah and that was his excuse my mom took my phone his parents were like very i i had to talk to his dad on the phone once billy was like you need to talk to my dad because he thinks that like i'm making mistakes in my life i was like what here's another one I i'm pavlov's dog when i hear the national anthem because i think i'm going in on kickoff and get head on a swivel and adrenaline pumping in my name this is 18 year old billy football by the way yeah 17 year old maybe even uh so when i'm bulking i eat a pint of ice cream at night someone should come up with high protein ice cream good idea nice and then last one accidentally may have swallowed a soda tab what do i do you should look those tweets up and just they're in my name i'm sure it was a soda tab yeah i'm sure it was from a soda so if you have change chargers has taken over this podcast so like again nothing before 2019 june is me okay we should find some blake portals

wikipedia ones i'm sure there's some gems in there yeah there definitely are all right um numbers let's wrap it up yeah we have to okay nut tap yep not this will be the only time if you get it you get tapped yeah we're not going to keep this going forever but this will be the only time I hope Jake gets it again.

Wait, aren't I safe?

No.

21.

Fine.

21 for Hank.

Three. forever, but this will be the only time.
I hope Jake gets it again. Wait, aren't I safe? No.

21.

21 for Hank.

3.

3 for Jake.

64.

64 for PFT.

Did you not do that strategy the last time?

No, it was there.

Give me a number that's never been done. Give me a number that's never been done.

Also, memes. Get memes.
Make memes pick because he's so scared of this. What are you, Liam? Six.
Six has not been done. So we have 20, 26, 27, 29, 51, 78.
I do 29. No, no, two.
29. Wait, Liam's 69.
All right. Liam's changing.
Liam's got two. I want to hit six, but I don't want to hit it right now.
But this counts, right? This is part of both.

I'm going to pick one for Billy so if it hits, when he gets back,

we get to hit him in the nuts.

We all do.

Yeah, we all do.

I'm going to go 99.

Okay, 99.

All right, here we go.

This would be karma if it ended up on me.

63.

Wow.

Wow.

That was close.

Alright, see you everyone Monday.

BuyRNR.com.

Love you guys.

Uh, antelopes?

Low-key antelopes

know how to

start fires