
NFL Draft Recap, American Hero Carli Lloyd And Fyre Fest of The Week
The NFL Draft was chaotic and we give our terrible takes about each pick and the trades that went down on Thursday night.(00:02:32-00:42:05) NBA Playoffs and 5 teams got eliminated in the last 48 hours.(00:43:23-00:52:18) USWMNT star and now Franchise owner Carli Lloyd joins the show to talk about her career, her future and tons more.(00:53:26-01:24:36) We finish with Fyre Fest of the week. (01:25:14-01:43:00)
You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/pardon-my-take
Listen and Follow Along
Full Transcript
Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, the NFL is back. We're going to recap the entire draft, a bunch of trades, chaos, teams moving up and down, big players getting traded, A.J.
Brown. Tons of stuff happening.
We also have a great interview with American hero Carly Lloyd. So in studio Carly Lloyd talking to us about being an American hero.
The U.S. women's national team.
Her future plans as an owner of a soccer team. Great interview with her.
We're going to talk a little NBA because we had some series closeout, two of them, actually could be three of them. We're taping this before the Mavs game, but a great, great show, and we have, of course, finished with Fyre Fest on a Friday.
Before we get to all of that, though, we're brought to you by our friends at Chevy Silverado. Strong, advanced, dependable and hardworking The strongest, most advanced Silverado ever There's nothing better than having a truck In the summertime Get that tailgate down Maybe you're going to a concert Maybe you're going to the beach Maybe you're just tailgating in the middle of a field Or you could be hauling some stuff.
You're moving anything you need.
Chevy Silverado has you covered because it's the greatest truck ever created. It is strong.
It is dependable. It is advanced.
It is hardworking. It is the Chevy Silverado.
Thank you to Chevy Silverado, our wonderful sponsor. You are a truck person.
You just don't know it yet. And we're still running our deal.
If you go whisper PMT into a chevy dealership into a salesperson's ear you will get a free tank of gas a hot cup of coffee and 100 bucks on us when you buy a chevy silverado the strongest most advanced silverado ever so thank you again to to Chevy Silverado. Okay, let's go.
Boy! It's a part of my take presented by
Marshall Sports.
Welcome to Part of My Take presented by Chevy, the strongest most advanced silverado ever today is friday april 29th and holy shit my head is spinning because what was supposed to be a boring nfl draft was chaos hey big cat guess what nba playoffs were on tonight, but the NFL? The NFL's king. King.
It was crazy. So I texted everyone before, like, we should try to go somewhat in order because that's how chaotic it was.
Like, usually we can jump around like, oh, this quarterback, this quarterback. No, it was just chaos.
And it started with the fact that it's in Las Vegas, and I had the thought, I guess it didn't register with me until I saw it like an hour before the draft started. And I was like, holy shit.
Could you imagine being drafted in Las Vegas, making generational wealth, like the biggest night of your life. And then you get to go party in Las Vegas.
Everyone who got drafted in Cleveland or Chicago or like, you know, next year, I think Kansas City. Sorry, you missed out.
Because getting drafted in Vegas has got to be the greatest thing in the world. Big Cat, they have a casino in Cleveland, too.
That's true. That's true.
They got one in Hammond, Indiana, not too far from Chicago, too. But that, I mean, could you imagine showing up and being like, all right, this is going to be the greatest night of my life.
Oh, and then we get to go Vegas? Well, yeah, so the thing is I think a lot of these guys, they get loans taken out on the fact that they're going to be drafted. Or they've already made ad deals.
There are companies that can do that. They'll float you some money if you're going to be drafted for sure.
A lot of them have beats by – They have a bunch of different ads. If you're the type of player that's going to be in Las Vegas for for the draft you probably have some money in your pocket i would personally that might be the best night of your life ever like it's all downhill from there like if you're just being 21 and broke in vegas kicks ass i i think 21 and filthy fucking rich in vegas that's god tier i think that honestly i would if i were to be drafted in las ve, I would tier the party.
I'd have something set up for a crazy nightclub. Then if I slipped in the draft, be like, all right, we're going to this one.
If I'm drafted top five, I'm going to put a million bucks on red. Oh, the Jets drafted me? Fuck.
Circus, circus. Yeah, let's go to the Hooters.
Why not? We love Hooters, by the way. Great sponsor.
Also, we love the Jets. Yes.
The Jets had... So this is what I love.
Everyone right now, and we'll get into the individual picks in a second, but right now, I think if you're going to take the darlings of the draft, who are the media darlings of the draft? Because I think it's the Jets and it's the Eagles. Eagles easily, and I would say the Ravens probably as well, and we'll get to that with their trade.
So the draft starts. We ended the war in Ukraine.
That was nice. It was a beautiful moment by Roger.
It was about fucking time. Yes, thank you.
I was pissed off, though, that the chair didn't make an appearance. Goodell's chair needed to show up.
Goodell did. He's done this before, but he tries to get one over.
He comes out. I think he had Derek Carr with him and a couple other Raiders.
Yeah, excellent haircut. As human shields to stop the boos.
The boos did not stop. Well, no, that was like a half-assed attempt at the human shield.
Usually, it's like in a theater of war when you paint on the top of a hospital, like hospital, do not bomb. Goodell will bring out children to be on stage with him when he comes out or he'll bring the troops out and he'll dare dare everybody to boo the troops and we will i think he got stood up by kids and by soldiers yep and so he had to be like okay i guess derrick car no no one's gonna boo derrick car they could bring goodell could bring out mother theresa and people would still boo there's like you can't well goodell needs to know that you should research mother theresa a little bit oh yeah she was she was that pattern she was no angel okay uh let's think of another name who else who else could he bring out uh weird al weird al everyone loves weird al yeah who's got scott van pelt yeah yeah he's probably the most well like scott van pelt probably has the greatest q rating of anyone ever what oj oj yeah well would they yeah because then he could be like they're brewing you not me that's actually smart that would be great for OJ the reverse yes yes um all right so let's let's hop into the picks because it started with Trayvon Walker going number one to the Jags um I was I saw a tweet that made me laugh they're like some dude just put Trayvon Walker as number one a few months ago and then it just happened and I went back and I looked and they actually exactly how it happened in March a guy named pigskin Paul who has grinding the mox as his website was the first person to have Trayvon Walker going number one after edge day at the combine and then he just spoke it into existence like it was that's such a supposed to be Aiden Hutchinson forever and then this one guy was like hey why not Trayvon Walker and then it just happened well because the name of the website is grinding the mocks that guy got the best website name pigskin Paul pigskin Paul at grinding the mocks like I'm sold who where did he have Dotson um let's see let me know because that's going to affect my entire judgment of how this draft went but yeah grinding the, grinding the mocks.
I'm shocked that that URL wasn't taken yet. Trayvon Walker, actually, I didn't know this about him.
I don't know if anybody knew this about him. But, like, a month ago, I think, he got into a car accident.
Or right before that. I don't even think we know what day it was.
Like, very recently, he got into a bad car accident. And he walked away, luckily, with no serious injuries on him.
That would have been an all-time bad beat. That would have been bad.
That would have been bad for the Jaguars as well because they probably would have still picked him. Can you imagine Urban Meyer, draft night, Vegas? No.
He wouldn't have. He would have been fired before the end of the night.
John Dotson was 25 on grinding the mocks. That's a reach.
That's a reach. Aiden Hutchinson goes two to the Lions, which, you know, I guess it's a I'm coming home or I'm not leaving.
Yeah, I'm not. I'm not fucking leaving.
I'm not fucking leaving. Good pick by him, by the Lions.
The only thing that I have in my head, though, now with Aiden Hutchinson is our dear friend Steven Shea, who you heard on Wednesday when he said he's got stiff ankles. Every time I see Aiden Hutchinson, I'm like, damn, those ankles look stiff.
They do look stiff. I don't even know what that means.
The way he was walking around. I mean, I'm happy for him.
He looked like he was having a great time. He was very thankful to go to the Lions.
I think Dan Campbell's going to love him. Yeah.
Dan Campbell's going to just bear hug him when he walks in and not let go. I think that it's a double-edged sword if you get drafted into your home state or home area like him because on one hand, you know what, like they're saying with Kenny Pickett, he knows the stadium.
He knows where the bathrooms are located. Yeah, they share their facilities.
Yeah, on the other hand, you're going to have everybody that you went to school with hitting you up for tickets all the time. Right.
But, I mean, I like to pick. I like what Detroit's doing.
We also had the worst feeling in all of drafts, and people, you know, everyone who listens to this show plays fantasy football or plays fantasy whatever when you pick someone which the Trayvon Walker went to the Jaguars and the pick was announced and almost 10 seconds later the Lions pick was in. That's the worst feeling in the world even if they're just doing it to fuck with people it's like there's no worse feeling than picking something in a fantasy draft and the next guy going right after being like, you idiot, this was the pick.
Yeah, I mean, I think that Aiden Hutchinson was the guy that Dan Cable was going to take regardless. Right, but it's the worst feeling ever.
He had him probably number one, number one A on his big board. Yeah, and then we went back-to-back cornerbacks.
Yeah. With Derek Stingley who proves that if you're just great for a little bit of time, you can kind of coast after that because he had an unbelievable freshman year, opted out COVID, I think, and then was injured last year, and doesn't matter.
Number three pick. It's very funny to me that everyone spent a year, over a year, projecting the entire draft, and they screwed it up because they forgot that the Houston Texans are morons yes but I yeah I everybody I like to pick just because Derek Singley was that good but yeah it's it seemed a little like there was a lot of people saying he's gonna go in the 20s and nope he's going three well if you if you pick any defensive back at LSU I'm gonna be like that's a good pick right now but like everybody had him going latter half the top ten, maybe even into the teens.
So it was like a surprise. But again, this is the Houston Texans.
So when people... If somebody roasts, I don't know, like a Patriots pick in the third round or something like that, oh, that guy, he probably would have been undrafted or something like that.
I'm like, Belichick saw something. When the Texans do it, it's like, okay, everybody everybody else i trust everybody else over the houston texas the jets picking sauce gardener was the pick yes that was the pick and i mean we you know his name is is the best his nickname is the best he had a big uh sauce bottle as his jewelry that's so cool awesome billy quick grade on the sauce gardener pick i mean sick pick uh it wasn't my dream draft but it was
the second best well your dream draft was literally insane well yeah but it was the best i think you had jordan davis falling to the third round no no it was uh number four aiden hutchinson falling okay trading number 10 for debo and then number three in the second round. So you're just playing like I did a
fake GM tweet
like last week where the Bears
just traded all their picks for Debo
and AJ Brown and
so that's what you're doing but real. It was Madden.
Yeah. Hey listen
a boy could dream and then we had
Kayvon Thibodeau going to the Giants
all time awkward handshake between
him and Goodell. Goodell had
no idea which direction he was going.
They were speaking different languages. He was trying to be cool, and it just bombed.
Yeah, nobody grabbed Goodell or, like, chest-bumped him really hard, like, in the past. But that's way more emasculating than when that dude just picked him up and bear-hugged him and, like, held him up in the air for six seconds and then kissed him on the cheek.
Yes. Roger Goodell was absolutely lost in the moment.
Lost, lost. And we had offensive lineman Icky Iquanu.
We don't have Jake tonight, so that's going to struggle. He's in rehab.
We're going to struggle later. He went to rehab for a dip.
And then the Giants took Evan Neal, who the Giants took a great offensive lineman and a great edge rusher. Credit to the Giants, getting rid of Dave Gettleman might have helped you helped you yeah so this is one of those where you look at the at the giants draft and it's like oh yeah they the hog mollies this is how you get them by drafting yes yes you don't have dave gettleman anymore nice and then uh the falcons continue their uh quest to just have awesome players on all the skill positions with drake london.
And now I'm going to buy into the Falcons again, being like, how can you stop Drake London and Kyle Pitts? Well, the real story here is that Drake, the artist, put a bet in on Drake, the wide receiver, to be the first wide receiver taken in the draft. Oh.
And he hit on that. Damn.
Very impressive by Drake. Raptors lost, though.
Oh, wait, I'm seeing this initial draft grade b minus i absolutely love instant draft grades they're so stupid and i just eat them up because they just tell you everything but they tell you nothing well they're essentially saying like how much did you agree with me somebody that doesn't work in the nfo right right was this a this was uh a reach uh based on my own previous opinion yep Okay Yeah Okay. Yeah, I give everybody, everyone in this draft gets an A, not applicable, except the Eagles get an A because A.J.
Brown's good. We know he's good.
Yes, yes. So we're going to get to A.J.
Brown's coming up. When was that trade? What pick? It was like 12 or 13 or something? I want to say it was around.
Somewhere around there. But anyway, the Seahawks.
I got to talk about the Seahawks pick
real quick because I just love it. And I know
that these, it doesn't actually
like, it doesn't really add up. Like
the Seahawks are trying to rebuild now.
But I just love the fact that they took
a left tackle
after Russell Wilson has been asking for an offensive
lineman for the last decade.
The minute Russell Wilson left the building.
Yeah, the stuff that Seattle has done to their offensive line, they had it running with like duct tape and silly string for a while you remember when tom cable was there and his thing was you know what i'm gonna take a tight end and then make him play tackle then i'm gonna take a guard and make him play the other tackle yep then i'm gonna have like a a fat fat short uh running back and we're to try him out at center and see what happens. Yeah, I just love the narrative just because now you have something to complain about, and that's all you really need as a fan.
You just need something to complain about. Run-on wide receivers came up.
Garrett Wilson, Chris Alave, Jameson Williams, and those guys are all going to be studs, I feel like. The problem I have is that with the draft, and this will – obviously people know this who have been listening for a very long time because of my love for the Falcons first-rounders and my ever-loving love for Kevin White.
If you are drafted in the first round, I just assume you're going to be a Hall of Famer. Yes.
That's just how my brain works. You should be.
So I saw all these wide receivers go, and I was like, oh, damn. Those guys are going to be sick.
Yeah, and the crazy part was there were, like, what, three wide receivers that played at Ohio State that all got drafted within, what, like five positions of each other? Yeah, and it was also the first time since 2004 that six wide receivers went – or, sorry, five wide receivers went in the top 16 picks. So pretty significant, the fact that wide receivers, that run came and it was like a fast and furious run on them.
I like Olave a lot. And everyone's saying he's going to be the perfect complement to Michael Thomas, which is very ambitious to say that.
Yeah, Michael Thomas. You remember him? Who? You remember Michael Thomas? He's going to take some of the heat off of Valaver.
I'm just happy they didn't take a quarterback because I really just want Jameis to – like that would have broken me. Let him be free for a little bit.
Don't have him looking over his shoulder. Yes.
And then we got into – With Jameis, what I like about that pick is that Jared Goff, finally for the first time in his career, has a true number one wide receiver, and we're going to get to see – Who probably won't play for the first couple months, but that's fine. What he can really do.
Well, Wale said that he expects him to be back by Week 4. Boom.
Is what he was told. So that's breaking news by Wale.
Damn. All right, I believe it.
Yeah, so now let's talk Eagles. Jordan Davis, it does feel like the Eagles kind of won the draft in the fact that they got Jordan Davis and they got A.J.
Brown, who then immediately they already had signed it. It seems like both the wide receiver trades have been in the works for weeks because Hollywood Brown was already at the Cardinals draft party tonight.
Oh, he was? Yeah. Dude, he got introduced at the Cardinals draft party.
He was in Arizona. He was in Arizona, got introduced at the Cardinals draft party.
Holy shit. So I love what Arizona's doing because they've got now, they're the short kings of the NFL.
Yeah. Arizona with Kyler Murray, and they've got Moore, and now they've got Hollywood Brown.
They're the cutest bunch of little guys out there. What's up with DeAndre Hopkins? Is he going to, is he, how bad was his injury injury because i feel like this is a i think he's coming back other needs yeah yeah i think deandre hopkins is going to be fine i don't think it's like a long-term worry okay but i don't know like what other needs they're often stunk at the end of last year yeah well they had what but i mean deandre hopkins got hurt obviously i'm just saying it felt like they i yeah i guess i i don't know the full they're they're just trying to make Kyler Murray happy by doing everything but giving him the money.
Yeah, I think they're like, look what else we can offer you. Yeah, another friend from Oklahoma.
Yeah, it's going to be that. You're going to have fast guys everywhere.
Yeah, but I do love what the Eagles did. Jordan Davis is a fucking game wrecker, and A.J.
Brown is an incredible wide receiver, and I don't, I think the Titans try to – they're going backwards in history where they're like, we're just really just going to run all the time, and that's all we're going to do. Did Tannehill have too many weapons around him? What? Yeah, I mean, honestly, that's the way that they can win is when Derrick Henry gets the ball a million times.
A.J. Brown was really good.
A.J. Brown was awesome.
This was maybe the biggest no-brainer pick in the first round. Jordan Davis.
I have the bad feeling because I am going to have to play against him personally twice a year. Three times in the playoffs, actually.
But I think that Jordan Davis is the guy that's like, why did we let him fall to 13? He's the biggest, fastest, strongest. Billy thinks he takes plays off.
But he's a fucking game wrecker. He makes everyone else better.
That's the type of guy you want. It doesn't really matter.
You just put him in the middle and you're just like, go do your thing and everyone else will get to eat. So Billy's red flag on him, which I kind of respect, is that he's not fast enough running to the sidelines when he's being subbed out of the game.
That's not what I said. That's what you said.
I said he has a fast 40 time, but if he had to run the 40 10 times, his drop off in times would probably be very exponential. So like every person ever.
Right. But I've seen him also in games running extremely fast.
I mean, they had video of it in the Alabama game, him taking plays off on touchdown. How many times do you think a defensive tackle has to run 40 yards in a game? When he gets off the field.
Yeah, no, that's a concern. He's not worried about – no, he's literally not worried about what happens during the play.
He's just getting off the field. He's worried because he gets substituted out on third down sometimes.
But I don't think – That he's going to not be fast enough sprinting – My words are being totally taken out of context. Sprinting to the sideline to take himself out of the game.
That's literally Billy's worry about it. Which is not 40 yards.
It's close enough. From the middle of the field to the sideline? Yeah, it's close enough.
Is that? It's like 30, 25 yards. I don't know how wide his field is.
How wide is a field? I think it's like 50 yards. 50 yards? So it's not even close to 40 yards.
I'll say this, though. I don't know.
If he gets caught in a too many men on the field situation where they snap the ball before he's off the field, the celebration lap that Billy's going to do is going to be incredible. But what about every time he doesn't have that happen? Yeah, then everyone else.
We need to count that against Billy. Everyone else.
Yes, right. Okay.
The Ravens, we just do both Ravens. So the Ravens trade Hollywood Brown, which the Ravens are just fucking smart.
All they do is smart shit. Even though Lamar Jackson did tweet, what the fuck? And it seemed like no one on the ESPN coverage even mentioned that, which was weird.
It's like your franchise quarterback who you have to pay soon, you traded his favorite weapon and didn't tell him. And he found out on draft night, oh, andwood brown was already at the cardinals yeah that's draft party that's also on hollywood brown yeah that's a hollywood brown move that's not a marquise brown move yeah marquise were to let lamar know ahead of time hey just just so you know they're flying me out here yes i'm gonna be putting on a different bird cap i want you to hear it for me first yes and they also didn't mention lamar not.
Lamar, not only did he tweet like WTF, he also retweeted that, what the fuck, we traded Hollywood Brown? Somebody else tweeted that, and he had to retweet on it. But yeah, it was the most Ravens night of all time.
It really was. Because not only did they get two guys who were the best players at their position.
And going to be Hall of Famers. Yeah, I mean, Kyle Hamilton, everyone was like, holy shit like holy shit this guy's awesome at safety why is nobody taking him we've seen enough of him play to know that he's really good at football and then they uh they get rid of a wide receiver which is a very ravens thing to do they fucking hate wide receivers in baltimore they have for like the last 15 years and then they get what many people thought was the best interior lineman of the entire draft one of the best linemen at their position in general in linderbaum yeah who's a monster and so i can only speculate that the ravens are just going to be running old school just like single wing smash mouth football lamar's gonna carry the ball like i don't know 30 times a game now i would be upset if i were lamar too but i think it also goes back to something that something that I've just had it in the back of my head for the last, I don't know, six months.
I think the Ravens are kind of weird about Lamar. I don't think that the Ravens, yeah, they love him because he's a great quarterback and he's an MVP, but I think that they're a little hesitant to go all in on Lamar Jackson being their cemented quarterback of the future.
Yeah, and it's also confusing because he's representing himself, which has to be a weird situation when you don't have an agent who's put – Lamar, who knows, maybe he ends up with more money because he doesn't pay agent fees, but that in itself has to be a little awkward. And, yeah, I mean, I agree with you.
I think they want to pay him, but they also don't want to go Patrick Mahomes. If it was any other MVP as your quarterback, I think it's obvious that the team would go out of their way to keep you and to not let you get to this stage in your contract without locking you up long term.
But Lamar, for whatever reason, I feel like they say one thing and they talk about how much they love Lamar but I really don't think that they they love him but they're not in love with him right right I'd agree with that assessment um but yeah the Ravens so what the Ravens did with Hollywood Brown just is what a smart franchise does they drafted a guy got three years of him on his rookie contract didn Didn't have to pay him the next contract.
So they drafted him at 25 in 2019.
And then they traded Hollywood Brown in the 100th pick for pick number 23 this year.
That's kind of exactly.
They're just exchanging it. It's kind of what the Titans did too, though, right?
Yes, yes.
But it's genius if you're trying to just keep reloading.
And Hollywood Brown is a good wide receiver. I don't think he's worth crazy, crazy money.
Yeah, so, I mean, the draft isn't over. I forget that a lot, actually, when I'm done watching the first draft because it's such a spectacle.
And I'm like, okay, we can give our draft grades out right now. Turns out there are six other rounds that we have to go through.
They're probably going to get a wide receiver at some point. Of course, yeah.
And there's a lot of wide receivers left. But I do think the Ravens just, it's basically when they went Ray Lewis and Orlando Pace in back-to-back drafts, except they did it in the same draft.
They just got Kyle Hamilton and Lindenbaum and they're both going to, they're probably going to Canton at the same time. They always do this, especially on defense.
They just get a player and you think everybody else forgot that guy was still available. The only time I remember that not working out, I thought Sergio Kendall was going to be a beast on the Ravens.
Yep. And there's a couple that you thought.
I mean, Hollywood Brown, I'm trying to think who else. Oh, Todd Heap, but he got hurt.
I always loved Todd Heap just because he was on Hard Knocks. I was like, holy shit, that guy's big.
Yep. All right, Jahan Dotson of the Commanders, great pick.
Thank you. Great pick.
He's a beast. He beat the fuck out of Wisconsin.
He beat the fuck out of the Big Ten. Every time, what I'd say about Jahan Dotson after watching him a lot in college is every time they played, Penn State basically was like, Jahan Dotson is our guy.
The defense knew that. He had Sean Clifford throwing to him, and he still had crazy stats.
Yeah, I mean, mean listen I trust one guy and one guy only when it comes to sitting down well besides uh mock grinders I trust pigskin pigskin paul at mock grinders.com yes um when it comes grinding the mocks grinding the mocks uh especially in the big in the big 10 and that's Hank and Hank was just over the moon about this pick.
I respect what you were saying.
You were tweeting at me,
letting me know how much you loved it. Love it.
I appreciate that.
Hank,
the guy,
the guy is a beast.
I I've been watching for the last couple of years.
He plays good in the snow.
I like that.
The only thing,
two things concern me,
two red flags about Jahan Dotson size,
but I don't give a fuck.
Nope.
Don't care.
That's,
I,
that's an old school.
Like that, there actually are people like, Oh, he's too small. Did you see the NFL now? These guys, it's a wide receiver league.
Guys can do whatever. They don't have to be big dudes.
Actually, if you're a little guy, it probably looks a lot more violent when you get pass-interfered with. You're like, oh, that poor little guy.
I'm going to throw the flag. I think that the two red flags on him, one, his name sounds way too much like Josh Doxson, who the Redskins draft in the first round at TCU, and he stunk.
And so I'm going to be calling him accidentally Josh Doxson instead of Jahan Dotson. Got ahead of it, that's fine.
For the next five years. I just want to let everybody know.
Also, when you type his name in for the first time on Twitter, it autocorrects to ha-ha-ha Dotson instead of Jahan Dotson. So I can't be held responsible for any of that.
And then the other red flag about him, I actually don't have another. I'm glad that we got him.
I think that we probably could have traded back again. I was in favor of just continuing to trade back and back until we just had every pick in the fourth round.
It felt like trading was pretty cheap. You could get a lot of value.
There's the most trade. I don't know if it's statistically actually a fact, but it felt like the most trades in any draft.
Yeah. Right? It felt like everyone was moving around, and we heard that it was a weak draft going in, and you could move up for pretty cheap, move back, and gain a little value.
Everyone did these trades, and every single time I was like, oh, that makes sense. What I also love about getting a wide receiver in the first round is it's second tier in terms of getting excited for a new toy to having a new quarterback, but a good wide receiver that you draft, I feel like I have a new toy now.
I'm watching the highlight reels. He smoked Rutgers.
Half the highlights that they have up there are him against Rutgers. I love watching that.
I love getting hyped about it and just being like, okay, this is somebody exciting. Because you could draft an interior lineman.
You draft a beast of a guard or a center. It's kind of fun, but you don't get to sit back and watch highlight films on YouTube.
That's what I'm looking for. I think in order of, like, hypeness of draft picks, it's QB, edge rusher, wide receiver.
I disagree. I'd say wide receiver, too.
Oh, you love an edge rusher, though, who's like, oh, he's going to wreck everything. Yeah.
There's no better feeling than, like, put this guy in, and we're set. I like a running back, too.
But those usually come later. You can get pumped about a fifth round running back that you take.
Yeah. All right, so moving on.
The Titans got Traylon Burks from Arkansas filling that A.J. Brown, which, you know, the Titans didn't want to pay A.J.
Brown $100 million, and that's what he got right when he went to the Eagles. So I don't hate it.
I love right when they showed the draft pick, they said professional comparison, A.J. Brown.
Yeah, perfect. It was perfect.
You just got a younger A.J. Brown that's less money.
The Chargers also picked. They took Zion Johnson.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was one of those ones that you just needed to see offensive linemen for the Chargers, and it could have been literally anyone.
You'd be like, good pick. Great pick.
Because that's all you need right now. You are two pieces away from a Super Bowl.
Yeah, and I don't even know who's playing right tackle for him. I know Slater's on their left side, right? Slater's a beast.
So it's like, yeah, give him – give me a guard to protect Herbert, and that's the final piece to it. And then we had the big the first quarterback the only quarterback in round one Kenny Pickett staying in Pittsburgh um shares practice facilities also 39 years after the Steelers famously passed on a different Pitt quarterback that kind of burned them a little bit in Dan Marino uh go buy our what is what's the shirt say Kenny has big hands Kenny Pickett has big hands they're sold out i think and he does we're gonna reload on him though and i'm just all i'm gonna say about this because i'm rooting for kenny pickett because we love him he's our guy and you can't pick if you're a quarterback like and you list where you could go the stealers have to be top five just because they know what they are,
consistency, head coaching, everything is consistent,
and they always have a plan.
So as a quarterback, it's got to be a dream to go to the Steelers.
It's the best possible landing spot.
Pittsburgh and New England are the best places that you can go.
Very much on sale still, by the way.
Oh, they are?
Kenny Pickett has big hands.
Check it out right now. If I was Kenny Pickett and you go back to Pittsburgh, I would keep my same apartment that I have, but I would trash the fuck out of it.
I would beat the fuck out of it. I would tear that place apart.
I'd keep it. How fun would that be to just go back and be like, you know what? I'm going to go to a total Led Zeppelin hotel room.
I'd make my friends stay at that apartment. Yeah, just be like, oh, you guys want to come to a game? Yeah, here's my apartment.
So, all right, fuck, the Mavericks are dying right now. All right, moving on.
The Packers finally got a weapon for Aaron Rodgers, linebacker Quay Walker. Congratulations.
Oh, and they also got a defensive tackle, so they got two guys that Aaron Rodgers can throw to. I was just hoping they were going to take a quarterback.
Okay, so that would have been great. The stat is since 2005 when Aaron Rodgers got picked in the first round, how many first-round picks have the Packers used on offensive players? Two.
One. Jordan Love.
Oh, my God, yes. It's so great.
and now this is the part where i say packers fans you're a pervert if you listen to this next part this is not for you hit that 30 second fast forward um these are actually two really good picks for the packers because their defense is going to be sick and they basically were like who had the great who had one of the best defenses of all time oh georgia let's get two of their And yeah, I'm scared. But that's okay because Aaron Rodgers, he should hold out again.
He's got no weapons. I'm always with the mindset that if you take just an SEC defensive player in the first round, that's a good pick.
Speaking of which, the Bills got a cornerback from Florida. I mean, the Bills are another team where they're like one or two pieces away, and it feels like that was an important piece when you get shredded by Patrick Mahomes.
How about get a cornerback who could maybe stop someone? Well, they saw what the Jets are building, and they're like, we got to sure up our nickel coverage. Yeah, it's a big-time war.
Cowboys got offensive linemen, sure. He'll probably be awesome and then get injured, right uh i'd say um he'll be suspended for deal for uh pro possession with intent to deal really shitty pot yeah pro bowl rookie year uh suspended second year third year comes out hot looks like pro bowl gets hurt and then everyone's like well if dax losing all his players so he can't he can't do it all himself traded to the broncos there it is uh jets jermaine johnson you want to talk billy real quick about jermaine johnson another dream pick he's a beast he's a disruptor did great fsu and i think he's going to be a big contribution to gang green okay i like the i like the fact that robert salla likes him yeah he's a guy that if he loves you i trust what he what he thinks about defensive players like he's seen enough really really good pass rushers to know what they look like so i'm i'm just going to defer all my judgment to the jets coaching staff on this one he knows by the way i forgot one thing about kenny pickett um our good friend mitch trubison'd.
A little bit. It's just like the circle of life.
I mean, a lot of bit. He literally signed with the Steelers, and then they drafted a quarterback two months later.
It's going to be, you know what? Open competition. He got Glennon'd.
I also had a very good conversation with our good friend Jersey Jerry because I don't think he realized, and I've had to deal with this before, and I think everyone here has had to deal with it, where you have a friend who's on your favorite team, and I was like, hey, Jerry, I love Kenny Pickett. I want Kenny Pickett to do well.
If he has a bad game, what are you going to say? And his jaw dropped. He's like, I didn't even think about that.
Well, best-case scenario is that Kenny Pickett sits his rookie year So that Jerry gets to just be like, I love this guy. Then he put this guy in, never get him in.
Extend the friendship for a little bit. Hopefully, Kenny Pickett gets into a position where he's ready to start in the NFL, and then they won't have to go through that.
But yeah, it's got to be tough for him. Yeah.
I feel bad. It's a tough position to be in.
All right, rounding out the first round, Hank, what's your tape on Cole Strange?
My tape is
based on Sean McVay and the Rams, and I'm
fired up. Yeah? Did you see their reaction?
No. Oh my god, I'm going to send it to you.
They laughed in Bill Belichick's face.
What? Sean McVay was like drunk or something.
I think he had a couple pops.
And they were doing some type of live reaction show,
and they reacted to
the pick, and McVay was like,
ha ha ha, I'm so sad
we watched all that film for him. We thought we were going to get him in the fourth round.
Yeah, so this is Hank being extra sensitive. No, I'm not being sensitive.
I'm just saying I'm fired up. You're being a little sensitive.
John McVay's reaction fires me up. You're a little sensitive.
Is that sensitive to be fired up? Yeah, you're being a little sensitive. I think his reaction was more along the lines of, like, we like like this guy we were hoping that he would be there at pick 54 for us no no no pft i'm sorry i'm sorry you feel that way hank oh damn it what i fell for a false graphic oh no not a false graphic no it was a cole strange graphic and it had a true fact where it said he doesn't believe in cloud storage because one has to stay grounded, man.
And then I just realized that on his stats, it goes burgers, 54, veggies, zero, along with his other stats. It was a fake graphic.
How did you fall for that? On what planet could that have been real? Well, I didn't realize. Real ball sack sports? I thought the true fact.
No, it was. I'm involved in many NFL Reddits.
I think you need to have a 10-second, take a breath, think about this tweet before you share it. Well, I didn't tweet it.
Pause. I was going to comment when Cole Strange came up and he doesn't believe in the cloud.
Maybe we can get Elon to put in a Billy button where you hit send on your tweet and then it's like a 30 second countdown don't worry biden's got it actually sends but if it's a meme was it a meme or was it a graphic it was a graphic just say it was a meme it was a meme yeah you shared a meme they didn't tweet it so you just admitted to getting fooled like internally yeah no i was about to anything i was about to read it to like say oh look at this fun fact about Cole Strange but it was fake yeah but you didn't read it I know but I said it the mic's too close to my mouth Big Cat picked it up whose fault is it that your mouth is close to the mic no we should actually applaud Billy for that he's speaking into the mic too much now what have we done your live reaction. And the only other thing I'll say, obviously, it's a projected third or fourth round pick.
It's weird taking him in the first round. But as, you know, in these situations, you just got to trust Bill.
Good selling jersey. A jersey that says strange on the back? Yeah, it's strange.
It's strange 69. Yeah.
That would be cool. What? I want to hear your reaction.
Oh, yeah. Let me see.
this of whether or not it's Strange 69. Yeah.
That would be cool. What? I want to hear your reaction to this.
Let me see. Whether or not it's justified to feel disrespected.
Oh, wait. Now you're disrespected.
I thought you were fired up. All right, here we go.
Oh, my UT Chattanooga to the first round. Hey, where is...
How about that? And we wasted our time watching him thinking he'd be at 104 maybe oh they're hammered they're hammered yeah exactly and they're clowning Belichick you know what the Rams are on draft night that laugh at the end was like a ha ha ha when everyone else is picking and they're not having it's like the kid in your high school that got into their first choice of college in the fall semester for early admission and now they just totally check out and don't give a fuck about it that's what the rams get to they just party they just take they they have senioritis on the first round of the draft yeah so cole strange do you think was that a reach is that what people are saying yeah probably was okay will the patriots regret trading out of number 21 where the Chiefs selected Washington? Okay. And then we have the Chiefs.
They got Karloftis from Purdue. There's a run on Big Ten players.
Daxton Hill from Michigan. And then the Vikings finish it off with a safety.
Good draft. Yeah.
Let's grade the draft fully from our – like I don't grade each team. I'm just grading the draft.
That was an A draft. I'm going to give it a B.
I don't think it's worthy of that. Mel Kuyper wasn't there, dude.
No Mel Kuyper? He could have been. Yeah, I dinged it for having no Mel Kuyper.
He could have. I'm not so sure I'd buy the whole vaccination thing for Mel.
You think he just didn't want to be there? No, I think he's just, like, too good at blackjack. He's a card counter.
He's not allowed at the casinos there. He's like, I'm not going.
I'm not going to Vegas. Or is it reverse? He's like Dan Orlowski type where he's like, if I go to Vegas, too many women will fuck me.
Yeah, I know my weaknesses. Is Dr.
Orlowski there right now? Yeah, yeah. Everyone, real quick, real quick, say a prayer for Dan.
Holy shit. I hope Dan's alright.
I hope he's not A, with a woman, or B, not with a woman by himself in his hotel room. He's probably just walking the desert being like, there's no women out here.
He's just coming the entire time. Dan Orlovsky's just nutting.
He's multiple cum shot Dan. Poor Dan.
He's just out there. Yeah, I like this draft.
It was fun. There was so much fucking madness.
and it felt like there was... I like any draft where you feel like there's a few teams that got significantly better and I count the Eagles, the Ravens.
The Commanders. Yeah, Commanders, sure.
The Jets tweeted the Stringer Bell, we back up. That's tough.
Wow. From the draft.
That is tough. They're electric, bro.
That's tough. They're going to be a wagon And the Giants I actually love what the Giants did Anytime you take a defensive Edge guy and an offensive lineman You can't That is automatically an A draft For that team no matter what You can't say anything bad about it You have to to be like, just watch.
This is how you build a football team. Yeah, right.
They might stink. I don't know.
They probably don't stink because I've watched them play in college. But you could pass that off on me and be like, we took if we used two top ten picks both on a line position.
I'm like, that team's building the right way. Absolutely.
Anything else from the draft? It was, yeah, we got two more days of it. Oh, yeah.
Big shout out to the fans at the draft tonight. The fans had an all-time showing out there.
It was a destination. I saw multiple fans.
I'm talking probably two dozen or so that were wearing jerseys, authentic team jerseys. And on the back, it didn't have a player name.
It just said NFL Draft. Oh, that's great.
22 on the back it didn't have a player name it just said nfl draft oh that's great 22 on the back you're gonna frame that one up and put it above your pool table i i'm awarding my uh fan of the night i decided that i was going to take a picture of every fan funny fan i saw and then whoever i award fan of the night i'm gonna blindly bet on that team week one all proceeds going to myself I've decided I think it's going to be the Jets there was a bulldog dude who has 85 a Giannis wingspan I've never seen anything like it he he's he looks like he's 5'5 and a 7'5 wingspan and he's a bulldog that came back as a human being in a Jets uniform at the draft. Jets week one, lock of the week.
I think I know that guy. Really? Billy kept saying, like, that dude's a general contractor.
Billy's biggest contributions in our war room here tonight, he thought he swore he knew the guy that was the Jets fan. That's number one the second he kept being like look at Aiden Hutchinson's mom no oh no Billy yeah oh no Billy oh his sister sorry look at this look at this guy's wingspan PFD look at him he's a fucking little bulldog look at him when he put his hands out you could play him at the stretch four.
His wingspan is insane for a guy who's that small. Oh, yeah.
That's like – What the hell? He looks like David Boston when he puts his hands out. It's crazy.
It's crazy. So, yeah, he wins my fan of the night.
Jets week one, no matter what the line, whoever they're playing, I'm taking them. Also, I give a C plus to the flyover it was just helicopters yeah i need a plane i need a jet i need something with wings on it yes three helicopters is a bit much you got air force base right there area 51 is right there i agree before we talk some nba it is fight season on da zone as katie taylor puts her unbeaten 20 no record on the line which takes on amanda serrano it's an eagerly anticipated fight at Madison Square Garden on Saturday, April 30th.
This Saturday, you've got to tune in. It's going to be absolutely electric.
The WBA, WBC, WBO, IBF, and the ring lightweight titles will be on the line as part of a great night of matchups on DAZN. It's being dubbed the biggest fight in women's boxing history.
I just dubbed it that, but it's a historical
matchup. The first ever female
headline fight hosted at Madison Square
Garden, and we will be there. So
check it out. Buy it on DAZN.
Be sure to follow along on social all night
and buy the fight exclusively on DAZN.
DAZN.com
Also, the Canelo fight coming up next weekend is
going to be electric, and I will be part
of the call. So make sure that you
are ready to get into your fight zone with DAZN. That just came off the top of my head.
That was great. Stream the fight live only on DAZN.
Download the DAZN app or visit www.DAZN.com. Huge fight Saturday night.
Nothing better than a big fight on a Saturday night. DAZN right now.
DAZN.com. Go download the app and buy that fight.
Okay, let's talk some NBA. We had some teams get eliminated in the last 48 hours.
We're actually watching right now as the Mavericks try to eliminate the beasting Rudy Gobert's. And I'm not going to win this bet, and this is going to piss me off.
Utah's going to win this game. Oh, that was a travel! Yep, they called it.
The first travel in the NBA this season was called. This is live.
That's a hell of a time to choose right there. I also have Mavericks minus one, so I kind of need some free throws here.
Very, very badly. Wow.
A travel call. You don't see that.
And they have to foul twice. This is going to suck.
I got the worst line possible. Either way.
Well, this is good for those of us who are in the get the jazz out. Yeah.
Yes, that's true. That's true.
We get to move on from the jazz now. Yes, absolutely.
All right. So teams eliminated.
Jokic got eliminated. The Nuggets got eliminated by the Warriors.
Jokic, he got my MVP vote last night.
I decided to send it in because he dragged that team to as far as you could against a really good Warriors team.
I also, Jokic leads the league in dudes who look like they've been fighting a cat
at the end of a game.
His arms are just scratched up.
Yeah, I think Mike Ruiz from Levitard has been on the, like, Jokic's arms bleed more than anyone else in the NBA. It's crazy.
And it's absolutely true. Like, blood is always running down.
And the thing is, he's got those big, meaty, slippery arms. So you see the blood pops on his arms a little more.
And it's not even bleeding all the time. Really just multiple scratches on his arms at all times.
The Bulls went out in – they didn't really fight. It was actually a really pathetic and demoralizing thing to watch because the Bucs essentially said, you guys suck so bad at shooting that we'll just let you shoot as much as you want and never close out.
The Bulls tried 52 three-pointers. I think it was a franchise record.
They went 15 for 52. It was – oh, man, he missed his first.
Jalen Brunson missed the first one. I've never seen anything like it where a team basically – it's like the demoralizing pickup game where it's like, yeah, I'll let you have that.
I'll let you have that.
But in an NBA playoff game,
keep shooting though.
Yeah.
You have to,
if they're going to give it to you,
keep shooting.
Hank,
how are you,
how are you feeling about the bucks?
Yeah. Now that it's official,
give us your,
like come at Milwaukee right now.
I got nothing against Milwaukee.
They're the defending champs.
You know,
it's going to be a tough,
tough out.
Yeah.
No Middleton,
no Middleton for the entire series.
I mean,
Giannis is Giannis again. They're the defending champs.
You saw what he did last year. He can go 1v5 against anyone.
I think the Celtics have a great defense. Hank has been coached by Belichick.
Yeah. Are you afraid of Grayson Allen? Of course.
Yeah. Why wouldn't you be? He's a Duke legend.
What about Bobby Portis? No. Oh.
Mark that. Bulletin board material right there, Hank.
You don't want to piss Bobby Portis off. I'm not worried about Bobby Portis.
Sunday. I think it'll probably, I mean, with all that being said, like minor whomping.
Minor whomping. So five, six? Six is probably a minor whomping.
I don't think six. It's six games if the only two that you lose are on the road.
That's a minor whomping. A minor whomping.
Yeah, and they have to be close, too. I think you I think it's six games if the only two that you lose are on the road.
That's a minor whomping. A minor whomping.
Yeah, and they have to be close, too. I think we're back to just square one defining a whomping.
I do think a whomping is five and four, which we declared. So minor whomping would have to be, like PFT said, you only lose your road games, and I think you have to win at least one of the games by 20-plus.
Yeah.
And the games you lose has to be in overtime.
Yeah, you can lose one at home in overtime.
But you have to blow them out at least once, like really, really bad.
If there's no minor whomping, you have to do the whompus cat, and so does Jake.
And get a cat.
And so does Jake.
And so does Jake.
And Jake has to get a cat as well.
Deal.
And drink spotted cow.
We should just keep doing bets where Jake has to dip until Spotted Cow. Until he's feeding for it.
He's going to be itching his arms so bad he's going to look like Jokic. Jake just having to do dip until we get him addicted would be a great storyline for this show.
So we had that. We had Pelicans.
Devin Booker got back just in time to save Chris Paul's ass. Yeah, that offense looks a lot better, doesn't it, when it's not relying on Chris Paul? Oh, for three? Oh, no.
Wide open. He's got it.
Oh, I missed it. See you, Jazz.
Love it. Mavericks.
Never a doubt. Yikes.
Yeah. Mavericks never a doubt.
So there we go. The Jazz are gone.
The Mavericks are advancing. The Mavericks are going to play the Suns.
Yeah, Chris Paul was incredible. He went 14 for 14.
Insane. Has anybody ever gone 14 for 14 in a playoff game before? Someone tweeted it, obviously, Wilt.
Wilt went like 18 for 18. Yeah, but he was the only one that could dunk.
Yeah, yeah. So I think there was one other person when I saw the tweet.
I can't remember it but if I was playing against second graders on an eight foot rim that's basically what Will Chamberlain was doing yes yes exactly so the Mavericks kick out the Jazz Pelicans are gone nice story good run and then kind of a I don't want to say a shocker but I think we all thought that the the Raptors Sixers was going to go seven, and the Sixers absolutely whomped them. It's because we got pre-excited about a take.
I know. We were just pre-excited for the whole Doc Rivers thing.
And James Harden and everything. And James Harden.
It was all the stars were aligning for the perfect storm of playoff choke artists. Yeah.
And so I'm a little bit upset. I'm disappointed in Toronto for not living up to your end of the bargain, because I don't know what I'm going to do with all these takes that have just been swimming around in my head.
I've been pumped about the stuff that we're going to get to unleash on this. I was actually mostly excited about the stuff Hank was going to get to say about the city of Philadelphia.
Yeah. But unfortunately, that'll have to wait for another day.
Damn. Yeah, I was excited too.
We were all very, very excited the doc rivers interview uh when he was basically trying to blame every everything everyone but himself and basically shitting on like his old players and teams for being so bad that it actually made him a good coach was was so funny it would have been so much funnier if they lost but yeah he had every excuse he you can tell that's one of those press conferences that he had prepared for.
He had notes that he had memorized.
He had practiced it in the mirror and in front of his wife
and been like, tell me how you think this sounds.
He was ready to go with facts.
He was talking about his Magic team,
and it was like Tracy McGrady was on that team.
He's like, look at that roster.
That was one of my best coaching jobs ever.
It's tough when you have to defend yourself,
your entire resume, in the first round. Well, also, it's not like it's on a coach to develop the players that are on the roster yeah right no well it's not on him the other thing too is that shack who is like you know the biggest alien in the history of the nba greatest player of all time is on nba on tnt being like yeah no it's not on the coach it's on the player like if i lost if I lost 3-1, it's on me.
It's like that doesn't apply for everyone. Yeah.
Just Shaq. Yes.
Yeah, you were an unstoppable force in every way. I just looked, by the way.
So the top three games where a player had a perfect 100% field goal percentage were all wilt. He went 18 for 18, 16 for 16, 15 for 15.
That's pretty impressive. When you say the stats, like, yeah, the top three all belong to the same guy, but Chris Paul, what he did tonight was pretty incredible.
But again, Booker was there taking some of the heat off. It was all Booker in my mind.
And we have to, as a podcast game plan plan. I'm not worried yet, but it dawned on me, and I never really had to think about it, but Rosillo is going to come back at us so much harder than we've gone at him if Chris Paul wins a championship.
It's not going to happen, though. It's not going to happen.
Chris Paul's not clutch. I'm not worried about that.
We have to be ready for that. Yeah, but I'm more excited about the excuses he's going to line up for Chris Paul when he eventually does lose.
I tweeted this out yesterday, but I figured out the perfect scenario for the playoffs moving forward. The Mavericks should also be eliminated.
I don't want to see whoever wins this series the Jazz Mavericks. Oh, I do.
Luka. Luka finally won a playoff series.
Not that pumped to see the Mavericks in the next round. No, but if they beat the Suns, then we can say Chris Paul's a bum.
That's true. I will be rooting for the Mavs for that reason, that reason only.
I would like to see the Mavericks and the Warriors play, and then I would like to see just the Grizzlies and the T-Wolves play until football season starts, until hard knocks. We need a Game 7.
We need a Game 7. Game 6 is tomorrow night in Minnesota.
Game 7 would be Sunday because I don't think that would be it. That would be the only Game 7 we'd get now.
We need a game seven. We need a game seven.
Game six is tomorrow night in Minnesota. Game seven will be Sunday because I don't think that would be it.
That would be the only game seven we get now. We need a game seven.
We need a game seven on Sunday. I will build my whole weekend around it.
Please, please, please give it to us. Okay, let's get to our interview, and then we'll finish with Fyre Fest.
On the other side, we have Carly Lloyd in studio. Awesome interview.
American hero. I'm going to say it.
American hero. Easily.
So let's hop into that. Before we get to Carly Lloyd, we want to talk to you guys about Barstool Golf Time.
You know what another term for short season is? It's golf season, and it's here. All of us on the Pardon My Take Show are going to be hitting the course as much as we possibly can over the next few months.
We're going to be booking all of our tee times on the Barstool Golf Time app. It's super easy to use and takes all the hassle out of planning your next round of 18.
Most importantly, when you book with Barstool Golf Time, you earn rewards points towards exclusive Barstool merch. Book your next tee time by downloading our exclusive Barstool Golf Time app available in the App Store.
Rewards points are earned when you book a tee time and complete a course review. The more you book and review, the more rewards points that you earn.
To write a review, all you have to do is filter to your course and click the submit a review on the course home screen after you finish your round. I can't wait to get back on the course.
Going to be playing some golf, breaking the putter out on the par fours. I'm going to be doing it with the Barstool Golf Time app.
Check it out right now. Download the Barstool Golf Time app in the App Store right now.
Now, here's Carly Lloyd. Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest.
It is two-time World Cup champion, two-time Olympic gold medalist, two-time FIFA World Player
of the Year, and now owner of Gotham FC, Carly Lloyd.
How you doing?
I'm good.
I know.
It's pretty cool to have that last bit in the bio there now.
Yeah.
So that's why you're here.
So you are now an owner of the team that you played for. Can explain like how this all I mean this is the dream of anyone although I do own a little bit of Swansea just so you know um no I'm not joking I do so no big deal yeah thank you and we also we own the New Zealand breakers and yeah actually now that I'm thinking about it we own a lot more teams than you but that's okay it's not a contest yeah all right I'll have.
It can be. I'll have to see how I outdo you guys next time.
So how did it break down? What made you be like, hey, I want to get into owning a team? Well, I think we had sort of some changes that were happening last season towards the second half of our season. We were regrouping a bit.
They were making some changes and just really trying to better the whole team on the field, off the field. So I obviously announced my retirement.
And in speaking with one of the owners, Ed and Tammy Murphy, who is the wife of the governor of New Jersey, you know, there was just a conversation of, you know, hey, we know you're going to be done playing, but do you have any interest in kind of staying involved in figuring out what that may look like? So we finished the season, got through the offseason a little bit, and then just had, you know, some conversations of, you know, sort being a bit of an ambassador and uh owning a bit of the team and and I thought it was you know very intriguing because I've I've put so much time and energy on the field playing but I still feel like there's so much more I have to give and uh there's a lot of women that are kind of leading the charge for Gotham FC so um for me it was no no brainer to get involved. So are you prepared for owning the team now? And then any, any slight stumble they have now people are like fucking Carly.
Well, you know what? Good thing is, is I'm not making all the really, really important decisions that are going on. So, you know, hopefully I can, I can just help.
I could shed some, some of my wisdom that I've learned and, and just be around the team because at the end of the day, you know, I, all my former teammates, you know, I have a great relationships with them. So I want to see them do well and I want to help in any way I can.
What was the, the, the main reason why you decided it was time to retire from playing the game? Were you just like, I've, you know'm bored. I've been too good for too long.
I've dominated everyone. Yeah, let me give somebody else a shot.
I don't know. I mean, Tom Brady's back, so you never get bored of being great.
So are you saying you might come back? Maybe you'll hire yourself. Ooh, player owner.
You don't have to pay yourself as owner. You know, if I don't see what I'm liking, I may be like, hey, I got to come back onto the field.
No, I am fully 100% retired, not unretiring. Although April Fool's, our April Fool's joke got people a little bit.
Even my sister, my own sister was like, texted me and she was like, if this is true, you're my sister. I'm going to be mad at you forever.
You know, and I'm like, no, I'm not coming back to play. But no, on the retirement front, I just knew that I wanted to go four cycles.
So four Olympics, four World Cups, obviously Tokyo pushed that to another year, which was supposed to happen in 2020, finished up in 2021. I just had nothing left in me.
I mean, I could have definitely gone. But to be able to dictate when I wanted to leave the sport somewhat on top and feeling good still, for me, it just was time to, you know, pass the torch and live my life and enjoy things.
How different is it, you know, you graduated college 2004. And then, like you said, four cycles.
How different is the women's national team and just how everyone approaches it and even the fans from 20 years ago? Because it feels like this is the biggest growth that the team has ever had, and a lot of the players on the team have become household names, which maybe not was the in years past yeah it's grown tremendously I I got on the national team in 2005 and uh the women you know prior to me were fighting for guaranteed contracts they were fighting for pregnancy leave health benefits all those things and here I am I get a you know a check for playing in two games and I'm like wow I'm rich you know but literally there was a lot more that they were they were fighting for and I remember the the fans we had maybe maybe 5,000 fans at our games and so we kind of went through this several year we didn't have a women's professional league at the time. That didn't come until 2009.
And then 2011 World Cup.
That, I would say, was when the trend started to become massive.
Fans were jumping on board.
We actually lost to Japan in the final.
I missed a horribly, horribly shot PK.
Not proud of, but I learned from that. I'm glad you brought that up.
That was my next question. Yeah.
What were you thinking? It was terrible. It went really high up in the air in the stands.
But we came home from that. We came to New York.
We did some media. And we were being cheered as if we had won.
We're like, we didn't win.
We got second place.
So from that point on, we had been kind of riding this wave that was just building, building, building.
You throw social media into it.
And then once 2015 World Cup came around in Canada, I mean, I still think on Fox Sports,
it was still the number one watched final in a World Cup. It was massive.
And, you know, it had been 16 years since we won a World Cup. Previous one was 1999.
So the wave has just been kind of going since then. America loves winners.
I mean, you guys are so good that it's like, you know, soccer's never going to be the most popular sport in America, but winning is fun. And I remember watching and being like, this is awesome.
Winning is fun. Everybody loves winning.
I also find that I like watching the women's game sometimes more than the men's game because you guys don't flop. There's no like – or there is some teams do, like the brazilians occasionally yeah they'll they'll dive but you get really mad at them which is shows like the game which that's usually yeah that's how we want to watch soccer in america like we get we get sick of seeing like the embellishment that takes place a lot of times in the men's game you know they're trying to draw a penalty kick or whatever but it's just it's tough to watch sometimes but when we see you guys like screaming at marta because she's like flopping in the penalty box despite the fact she wasn't touched I like that like I want to go to war for you guys like why do you think that the women they they don't flop as much in the women's game I don't know I mean I think because we've just got that mentality of just you know even for myself I mean I you know there's probably been times where I could have just went down in the box, drew a PK, but there's something about that edge of just trying to see the play out and not flopping.
I mean, the flopping on the men's side did go through quite a bit of... It's bad.
It's really bad. Yeah, it's gotten a bit better because i you know they they sort of have uh been you know changing the rules a little bit and referees are are giving cards out now for players that are doing it but um yeah you don't see it too often on the woman's side yeah yeah the the flopping and the time wasting at end of games always drives me nuts when it's like the last 30 30 minutes, soccer doesn't get played.
And it's just, you know, like actively trying, like walking as slowly as you can to the ball and those type of things. Yeah, I mean, game management is big, though.
Yeah. I mean, we've rehearsed and practiced over the years of, hey, you know, the one thing is when a goalkeeper goes down, they don't have to go off the field.
Right. So if there's something that needs to be said or communicated within, you know, a World Cup final and you can't get the communication out in time, just have a little signal.
The goalkeeper goes down and, you know, we've done it quite a few times. You can always just, like, grab the back of your leg, pretend that you're having a cramp, and just sit down.
A referee's not going to be like, oh, you're faking a cramp. It's very tough to prove that.
It's true. And there's been often times where I'm yelling at my keeper, and I'm like, why are you going down? They're like, it was a play.
I had to. Yeah.
All right, so this is a loaded question. We watch soccer.
I a team um but I like I said I don't think soccer will ever be the number one sport in America but what is it that like people who don't like soccer or don't give it a shot what do you think can like switch them over being like hey this is a great game is there any anything that you can think of where if you met someone on the street and like I don't like soccer like because I always like it's on in the morning a lot of times and also there's it's exactly two hours that's my big thing yeah it's like exactly two hours no it's a it's a lot of time for people to just sit down and watch I mean that's why I don't think that you know just a random person is just gonna you know tune in on a Saturday morning and watch the English Premier League or watch an MLS game. It's mostly fans and avid super soccer fans that are watching these games.
But it's just such a different culture. I mean, growing up in England, I got to play for Manchester City for three or four months there, and it is just such a culture.
I mean, they, they grow up and it's like soccer here, you know, there's just so many other sports and America's sport here is the NFL football, the other football. Right.
Um, but I don't know, it's exciting. And, and I think, you know, the games are, are games are a bit long.
But there's some incredible things that go on in the game. I mean, defending, the tactics, you know, scoring goals.
I've got a real dumb idea that actually I think could work because Americans and sports fans, our brains are very simple. And what the NFL has discovered how to do is they just take every score and they make it worth 6 points instead of 1.
Why aren't goals worth 5 points? Or 6 points even? And bigger goals. Maybe 7 points.
We like scoring. That's really what it comes out to.
If a 2-0 game was 14-0, it's like, man I missed a fucking shootout. I can't believe I did 2-0 for that.
That'd be weird though, but then's like, how do you count somebody that has goals? If I finished up my career with 134 goals, but some goals were worth more than others, that would just be... Well, your records are going to, unfortunately, be screwed.
Yeah, so sorry, you retired at the wrong time. But we do love scoring.
We need more scoring. I just love points.
I just love seeing points on a scoreboard. It's that simple sometimes.
Yeah, I get it. But it would change the game a whole lot.
I also think someone needs to get good enough to just score every time from a corner kick. That would be so sick.
I don't know why they don't just bend it in. Yeah, it's definitely an art.
Yeah. So you grew up outside Philadelphia, right? Mm-hmm.
So I saw you tried out for the Eagles a couple years ago. Is that still in the back of your head? Like maybe i'll because you kicked what like 55 yarder i think so yeah did anybody actually say from the eagles or any other team like hey we're interested in bringing you in for a workout oh yeah yeah a couple couple of teams were were like hey you know you want to sign on for preseason but i had i had soccer you know stuff well now yeah now what are you thinking now i don't so there's you know there's a possibility i mean i can't say that i've been kicking a lot of soccer balls or footballs currently um but the thing is is like i know i can do it you know i know that i've broken down my soccer technique uh for my entire career and it's a little different, but it's a little similar.
So there'd be no different than to break down the technique for kicking. And that day was just merely for fun.
Yeah. I mean, 55 yards is no joke.
It's a bomb. And I had a lot of distance still on that.
Yeah. Would have been good for what, 62? Run it up.
I like that. We can get you a try with the Commanders.
I'm on their fan ambassador program. You probably heard about that.
Oh, okay. But yeah, I pull a considerable amount of sway with that organization if you're looking for a tryout.
All right. Okay.
So what's your favorite – are you a fan of all Philly teams? I am. What's your favorite sport, not soccer? You know, I think it kind of changes.
I would say that I watch a lot of NFL I do tune in for the Eagles a lot that's always been a thing you know my dad would watch all growing up and I feel like you know I was daddy's little girl and I would just you know sit down and watch as well but I've I've gone to a bunch of Sixers games courtside so fun what are your thoughts on Ben Simmons? Because I caught a little of that Philly accent that you have and I just, whenever I catch a Philly accent, I just want to immediately ask the person, like, what do you think about Ben Simmons? Just be like, that fucking guy sucks. That might be a loaded question.
Look, the way that I have approached my career, like if people are going to talk bad about me, try to not enunciate that accent.
I'm just going to stick it to them.
You know, I'm going to prove them wrong.
I love that.
I love the pressure.
I invite pressure.
And it just feels so good when you got people talking a whole lot of smack about you and you're just like hey I'm just trying to be the best that I can be improve every single day and that's the thing with Philly you know Philly fans are probably the hardest fans to play in front of you don't ever want to piss them off and Philly fans just want to see you working yeah and and just trying to to be your best so yeah it's a tough situation um i just think it's a generational shift with with some athletes you know the mental toughness aspect of it is you gotta just be tough yeah or at least try to grind yeah try to dunk the ball it's simple. At some point, sports break down to the point where us dumbasses that are watching it that are like, just dunk the ball.
We actually become correct when it's about Ben Simmons. Because it's that simple.
He just got afraid to shoot. Yeah.
And then Philly was just kind of holding him accountable for that. Which is important in basketball.
Yeah, it is important. I do love Philly fans.
I think that it's the best sports town in the United States. They're as real as they come.
And they'll be the first to praise you, and they'll be the first to try to tear you down. But if they see your effort and they see you wearing your heart on your sleeve, they're all for it.
I mean, Tyrese Maxey. Yeah, incredible.
Like, that for me is someone who's just taken advantage of an opportunity that just came about from the Ben Simmons situation. Yeah.
And he's ran with it. And he's a really fun player to watch.
What's the one thing that someone wrote about you or said about you that, like, motivated you? Because, I mean, people didn't – did people bash you? Oh, people bashed me my whole career me my whole career yeah 17 years i think all the way up until i announced my retirement and then i was like wow i'm getting a lot of love and where was this people are really uh so what was the main criticism what was the criticism of your game that people would say you'd be like fuck that that's not at all how it goes oh it was just it was a lot lot of things. It was just constant.
She can't do this. She's a turnover machine.
She's not, I don't know, a good two-way player. There was a, and I hate to highlight this article.
No, let's go. You're highlighting people that probably don't deserve to be highlighted, but there was this article that came out right before the 2015 World Cup final.
It was on SB Nation, and it was titled something,
you know, Carly Lloyd is the weirdest world-class athlete or something.
What?
And it just went through everything that I was not good at,
according to what they thought.
And I remember reading that before the final. And I'm like, you know what? I'm just going to stick it to them.
This is another thing that I can just prove people wrong and went and scored three goals in that final. It's funny that you mention that because I was actually working at SB Nation in 2015.
And when you said that there was a writer there that wrote something really shitty about you, I was like, wait, I don't think that was... But I remember this article.
That's actually why I left SB Nation because this article was so mean. Oh, I appreciate that.
That I was like, you know, I can't work for a publication like this. I'm joining Big Cat and we're doing a podcast at Barstool.
This is a funny article. I'm reading it right now.
Right? Yeah. This is a very weird article.
And I actually, you know, had been successful up until this point. I'd say so.
Yeah. I've scored a couple goals in Olympic finals.
Yeah. She will start against Japan on Sunday.
And if you're a fan of the United States, she will piss you off. She will look utterly uncoordinated and touch the ball directly to Japan players at least a half dozen times in the first half.
You will still wonder what the hell you're watching, how does a world-class professional footballer, and if these mistakes will cost the Americans the World Cup. In roughly the 65th minute, she'll score a screamer from 25 yards, and the U.S.
women's national team will win the World Cup because of it. So it's basically a backhanded compliment, being like, you score clutch goals, but you suck otherwise.
Very weird. The block button for Twitter, even to this day, has come in very handy.
You can't block. You've got to mute.
Don't give them the satisfaction. What about other teams and other players? I can tell you, you do have that Philly chip on your shoulder a little bit.
Well, yeah, she just literally quoted an exact article headline from 2015. Yeah, you use that as motivation.
Yeah, I mean, I think that, you know, and that's the thing, not to get back to the Ben Simmons thing, but just when athletes have an easy path and they don't really go through adversity from a young age and things aren't hard. You know, I'm seeing it with some of the players that are coming up now in the soccer pipeline.
It's no different. You know, my journey was so hard.
I mean, I wasn't pegged as the next best thing. I went to a small, you know, soccer college at Rutgers University compared to the UNC's and Stanford's and UCLA players.
So no one had me on their radar. So I just had to claw my way to the top slowly but surely, and it was hard.
And that's the most rewarding part. As hard as it was, if you do it right on and off the field, in the end it's literally the most rewarding thing.
So what was the most rewarding part about your career? If you were to pick, what, you had two World Cups, two Olympics? Or was there something else that was more rewarding? I just think the journey. Everything.
I mean, you know, for me, the hard, hard moments were the moments that really propelled me to these successful moments. It was everything.
I mean, I think if you pull one thing out, my journey wouldn't be the way that it was. Yeah, yeah.
What about, this is a dumb question, but sometimes, you know, you guys would play teams that were not up to snuff. I remember the 13 to nothing Thailand game in the World Cup.
Is that fun or boring? Because it's like we all have that, not to equate our lives to world-class athletes like you, but when you're playing Madden on easy and it's fun for a minute and then you're like, this is kind of boring. Did you ever have that where it's like, well, this is kind of boring.
It's 13-0. Those games are tough, but when you're playing in a World Cup, it's easy to get up for those games.
When it's a friendly. I know our women's national team just played Uzbekistan.
Two games. And they won 9-0, both of those.
But I think when you have the mindset of there's a bigger picture here, every training session, every game no matter what it is I always approached it as a as a world cup final yeah you know I was tackling and training friendly games I was till the very end last whistle was blown I was you know sprinting to save a ball so if you have that that mindset, it's a little easier.
The tough thing is when you have a player who switches on and off.
It's hard to all of a sudden switch on and be ready for those moments.
So would the majority of your teammates say Carly was a real prick in practice,
but we needed that?
Or were there some relationships that you had where people could not handle that intensity? I think players would basically say I was just ruthless. They knew that no matter what team I was on, whether it was a 5v5 team or whether it was the starting group versus the non-starting group, and I'm on the non-starting group, I'm coming for you.
You know, clean. I'm not going to do anything that's going to send anyone with a career-ending injury, but that kind of instilled the way the rest of the training sessions and games went.
When people, when you see someone tackling, and the players that I looked up to you know Shannon Box Abby Wambach I mean all these players they would they would run through a brick wall so when you see those players doing that you have to do it you have to follow um so that's what I always tried to to kind of help instill within the group is it hard for uh the U.S. team, this could be for men's and women's, but you spend the tryout phase competing against each other, I would assume, and everyone's trying to get that spot on the roster, and then flipping the switch and being like, oh, we're friends now? Is that a difficult transition? Very.
It's weird. I mean, we're all basically competing.
There's 23 23 players that make a world cup roster there's 18 that make an olympic roster which they may be in the midst of changing that um so yeah you know technically you're you're teammates you're you know supposed to have a camaraderie um but then you may be left off a roster but for me it was always you know my competition was was no one but myself and when you start to compare and point fingers and say oh well I'm better at this than that player and well she's a little bit better than me at that you just you take yourself down a really really mentally challenging right and I know it happens in other sports. I mean, obviously, like NFL training camp, but at least in NFL training camp, you know who the starters are all going to be kind of going into it.
It's the edge of the roster. I feel like in soccer, you could be good one second and the next second be like, oh, nope, they're over the hill.
Yeah. That's why I always tell people it's hard to get to the top, but it's even harder and harder and harder to stay there and to keep elevating your game.
Because for myself, the more success I had, I had to keep pushing it on and on. I mean, I score a Hatchrick in a World Cup final and everyone's like expecting that all the time, which it doesn't happen all the time.
But that's what's really hard. And that's what, you know, you're going to kind of see over the course of, I don't know, the next five, 10 years with some of these players in particular on the women's national team.
You know, who is going to be the most mentally tough to be able to withstand the highs, the lows? Because one moment you may be feeling on top of the world, and then quickly you're going to be falling down the mountain and having to get back up again. And there's so many different variables.
So if we're talking about passing the torch, who are we looking at on the women's national team right now? Who did Carly pass the torch to? You know, Mallory P's doing really well um happy to see I feel like she's she's finally in a good place and um you know you've got the front three Sophia Smith uh Katerina Macario who's who's playing in that you know number nine position where I was playing um the likes of Lindsay Horan Sam Uwis um Rose Llle actually sanchez rose been on the show and she's also a badger i'm a badger so oh yeah she was dominant yeah in the last world she's just so fast she is she's uh very silky smooth um you know but these players got to stay healthy that's's number one. And it's a grind.
That's why you say, what made you want to retire?
I mean, I feel so less stressed in life.
Don't get me wrong.
I love the pressure.
I was in the pressure cooker for 20 years.
But there's just such a refreshing feel knowing I'm not in the pressure cooker. Yeah, you own the team now it's pretty good that's a pretty good feeling yeah you are the pressure cooker you're no longer people are yeah see you and they're like oh here comes the pressure right yeah so it's that that is the tell-all with the lengthy careers that people are going to have if they're able to withstand the mental aspect of the game yeah what uh what would you do to fix U.S.
men's national team? I know we made the World Cup this year, which is an improvement. I'm glad to see that we're actually in it this year.
And we've got a good young team. Some are saying the golden generation.
I don't know. But what would you do as a successful international soccer player? What do you see on the men's side? And you're like, this is how we need to fix this.
I don't think there's one thing. You know, the men's World Cup has been around a lot longer than the women's World Cup.
That's just that's the history. And so the men are competing against other countries where soccer is the number one sport in their country.
They grow up with a ball at their feet.
Here in America, you've got baseball, you've got wrestling, football, basketball.
There's so many other different sports.
So what we're finding now with the men's team,
a lot of these players are playing in Europe, which is good.
And it's a younger generation.
They're doing well.
The qualifying was not the easiest thing. It's very tough.
It's very younger generation. They're doing well.
The qualifying was not the easiest thing.
It's very tough.
It's very gruesome.
But they have a favorable draw.
So it's really up to them.
I mean, I'm not too concerned with them getting out of the group.
The knockout rounds are going to be interesting.
We have to win one of those games against Iran or whatever the team's going to be, Ukraine or Scotland. Yeah, which Ukraine, I wouldn't want that.
Yeah, I wouldn't fuck with Ukraine either. Yeah.
Mentally tough. There's a lot more that Ukraine is obviously fighting for.
Yeah. All right, so I had one last question.
This has been great. Thank you so much for stopping by.
It's the Roback question. If you want some Roback gear, we have it for you.
R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com. Use promo code TAKE for 20% off your first purchase.
Q-Zips, hoodies, all types of great gear at Roback.com. Most important question.
I should have said this at the start, but I didn't want to ruin the interview if your answer is incorrect. Messi or Ronaldo? I respect the amount of work that Ronaldo puts in.
Oh, I like you. Yep, this is good.
This is good. This is going in a good direction.
Because he does. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. He taps it in.
He reminds me kind of the way that I approach my career. I mean, he's top-notch pro.
But Messi, I mean, what the guy's done on the field, it's magic. You don't see that in a player.
And I don't know when and if we will ever see a player that is quite like Messi again. Maybe not in my generation or our generation.
You officially know soccer. Yeah, Messi.
You know ball. You know ball.
And I would love to see Messi go back to Barcelona if that's even possible. It's weird seeing.
He doesn't seem happy. I don't like it when players switch teams later on in their careers.
I get used to it. As someone who barely watches any international club soccer, I get very confused when I see somebody wearing a Paris Saint-Germain jersey or whatever.
I know, and a different in number 32. Yeah, it's not right.
It just was unfortunate how it happened. What about on the women's side? Who's the GOAT? You know, that is to be determined.
Okay. Because you're not retired yet.
Well, you've got to prove it to me. You've got to like you got to earn the goat label i mean you know no one's achieved anything yet so in 10 years maybe i'll come back on here and can let you know who uh who who my goat would be i say mia i think me is the goat oh so former players not current yeah yeah all time all time all time goats oh there's there's a ton.
I mean i mean michelle acres there's got to be one there's one the greatest of all time i would say probably michelle acres okay yeah she just she's talking about somebody that would run through a brick wall you know play on one leg if she had to um she scored in some of the biggest moments. She was definitely somebody I looked up to.
Okay, and you answered the question correctly. It's Messi over Ronaldo.
Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's not even close.
It's like one just stands outside the box and taps it in, and one is just, you know, he makes love with a soccer ball. Oh, my, he co.
Hey, Ronaldo's done really well, though, throughout his career. The older he's gotten to adjust his game.
Yeah, just making sure he takes every penalty kick. Yep, you're right.
He scored a free kick the other day. Yeah, that's what he does.
I just pretended to not see that one. Now, take Messi and then add like 50 pounds to him and then also have him do an eight ball of cocaine before every game, and that's Maradona, who's my goal.
I know, Maradonaona i'm so happy and lucky that i was able to meet him several times and i actually the one grateful thing that i i i have with maradona is he megged me really oh yeah i got megged by maradona that's pretty nice probably one of my proudest moments yes yes well carly thank you so much for stopping by, and we appreciate it very much. Yeah, it was great
to chat with you guys.
Carly Lloyd was brought
to you by our new hats for
Part of My Take. No cap, Part
of My Take has the best and newest hats
for you this spring. Oh, I see what they
did there. We have a wide selection of nylon
panel hats, mesh back trucker hats,
and performance rope hats.
They're honestly the best hats that we made. We've got the classic PMT football patch trucker hat for the football guy.
We've got the part of my take rope hat for the AWL and the Larry the Goldfish rope hat for the gambler who just can't lose. These hats are fire.
Go check them out right now. Shop PMT's newest and best-selling hats on the Barstool Sports store at store.barstoolsports.com.
Okay, let's finish up. We got Fyre Fest of the week.
We'll send everyone on the way. Great interview coming on Monday.
Cowboy Joe West. Very excited about that.
So awesome. A lot of stories.
A lot of stories. Legend.
Legend of the game. Great week coming up.
We got Cowboy Joe West. Then we're going to have Biz on Wednesday for some Stanley Cup talk.
If he's not too tired out from his one live stream that he'll be doing on tuesday yes and then on friday we have eddie hearn who's in studio which i love that interview he's a fucking anytime you have anybody with a british accent yep it doesn't matter what they say and also randy moss who will be on to talk about the kentucky derby all right so it's gonna be a great week for part of my take next week. Fire Fest of the week.
What? I was going to say, the Biz and Chicklets guys, they got the great one. They did.
It was a great interview. We should actually just do our entire interview with Biz, just asking him questions about Wayne Gretzky.
That was my plan. And then we can be like, we got Wayne Gretzky.
Yeah. Did Wayne, did you have to ask him politely to have him let you off the leash to come out here? He's basically Wayne's puppy dog right now.
he is all right uh hank your firefest of the week uh i was walking home from the train station to my apartment the other day big public transportation guy as you guys know uh and it was like muggy raining and i walked by the barbershop and it kind of just struck me i was like i'm gonna go see if uh there's any you know openings like if i just walk right right in and get a haircut. I did.
Luckily there was an opening. I sit down at the chair and like my allergies just kind of hit me and I was sitting there getting my haircut, but my nose was just constantly running and I had to ask for a tissue, but then it just wouldn't stop.
And it was so awkward because like, have you you guys tried to hold in, like, snot coming out of your nose?
Like, it's one of the most painful and hard things that you can ever have your body do.
Yep.
And I had to just sit there, and it was just awkward.
It was, like, one of those things where she would turn around to switch blades or something, and I would just try and, like, wipe my nose real quick.
And I was just sitting there the whole time trying to concentrate and just, like, not let it of my nose and it was just it was a painful experience. Was there any sneezing? No sneezing.
I thought you were going to say that you were getting your haircut and you sneezed and then the clippers slipped and that's why you've been wearing a hat all week. No, no.
This was two days ago. You guys haven't seen my haircut.
Can we see it? Let's see it. Do a haircut reveal.
Oh.
Looking good, Hank. What the fuck?
Wow.
He's got hat hair.
Hat hair.
Handsome boy.
What could our reaction have been?
Ew.
It looks good.
I like it, Hank.
You have a nice haircut.
You're a beautiful boy.
Your nose also, it seems like it's doing okay now. Mm-hmm.
You get you on the are you on the hard stuff you on the afrin no i've never messed around with that stuff i've heard too much yeah my friends have had some you know tough stories and i lost a lot of good men yeah yeah don't do it i'm trying to lend bias myself all right you got a good fire fest wow too soon bro yeah come bro. Yeah.
Come on, Hank.
It's draft night, man.
Can't do that.
All right.
PFT, your fire fest.
My fire fest of the week is, it happened to me earlier today.
It's also involving public transportation.
I was on the subway to work, and there was a guy that was sitting next to me, obviously in a bad state mentally, physically.
Why is that obvious? Well, I'm saying it was obvious to me that he was in a bad state mentally and physically. There were like a lot of outbursts.
He was yelling and stuff. He was like flinching a lot.
Just a guy that's down on his luck. I'll put it that way.
And so I'm standing about a seat and a half away from where he's sitting because it's kind of a packed train. And we get to a stop and he stands up and he just starts yelling and he looks at me and he like swipes his hand at me and so i just i i'm just like looking at him making sure that he's not going to actually do anything and then he just cocks his head back and he spits on me oh no fucking way just spits on me oh my god oh man Now, you may call me a lib, but I was wearing my mask on the train.
Not because I'm afraid of COVID, but I'm afraid of this exact situation. And I'm very lucky I was wearing my mask on the train at that point.
And then he took a step towards me. And to my surprise, I took a step towards him.
I don't know. I wasn't even thinking about it, but I was like, I guess we're going're gonna do this On the train right now Because I was so mad because he just spit on me And then I realized oh this is like This is a 50 year old guy that's obviously like Somewhat incapacitated Not in a good mental state So I just like took a few steps back And stared him down just to make sure He wasn't gonna come at me anymore And the most embarrassing part about this was like it was a packed train.
And so everybody was watching me. You didn't do shit, bro.
What's this guy going to do? I'm pretty sure there were some AWLs on the train. And if you're listening to this right now, that guy's lucky I didn't do anything.
Yeah. That guy's lucky.
That's true. That's fact.
The best part is though like probably no one else around you reacted or like really did anything. No, that's New York City.
They were probably just like, oh. That's like when you get on get on the train that wasn't me one of the best things about new york city you get on a train and you like see as the train goes by there's open seats and then you get on the train and then you realize the open seats are because someone's like sleeping and has been there for a long time and it's just everyday occurrence it doesn't really matter i got on a train like that a couple summers ago it was a hot train when you, oh, this is going to suck.
Oh, this is why it's empty. This is why it's empty.
But the doors shut on me before I really realized how hot the train was. And then I looked down in the corner and there was just shit on the ground.
So I had to ride underground in a hot train with shit on it. You realize it very quickly.
If there's open seats on a New York City subway, it's not just like oh this is my lucky day. Yeah.
There's something going on that everyone else has figured out. I wiped myself down made sure it was all off me but it was a, you play Russian roulette every time you get on a subway train.
It was my turn. Yeah.
Everyone, this is I'm officially now a New Yorker. Hey, better you than someone who couldn't have defended themselves.
Agreed. Like you didn't defend yourself.
Agreed.
I did take a step towards him.
Yeah, that's true.
The step is important.
I probably saved everybody else on that train from getting spat on.
Where'd the spit hit you?
The spit hit me on my-
In his mouth.
It hit me on my shoulder, hit me on my backpack.
I don't know.
Hit me on my backpack.
I was closed, so I didn't feel that.
Your poor backpack.
I didn't feel where it hit, but it definitely got shoulder got my forearm got my backpack I don't think it got on my face but I'm again was wearing the mask mask up people I should start a mask awareness campaign just for homeless people spitting on you alright my fire fest is I'm back in the gym I'm trying trying, boys. I'm playing basketball.
Shout out to Swish House and Paul, who's been training me. But I had the moment.
I went there and we warmed up. And after the warm up, he was like, all right, you ready to start? And I was already like sweating and gas.
And I was like, I thought that was it. Yeah, but that win.
It was so it's very embarrassing to be completely gassed by a warm up like completely gassed by a warm up and then because it's not it wasn't even a crazy warm up it was just like getting some shots up and doing some stretching and I was you know like when you take the bands out and you have to do the stretching with the bands, cashed. Completely cashed.
When you start to get back into working out after taking a while off, the worst part by far is the soreness that you get in your legs. I'm not talking like later on that day, not the next day, but you'll be sore like three days later in your legs from your first workout.
So, and it's basketball, so I'm like getting shots up, and so i was gassed from the warm-up and then there's like drills we were doing where i had to make a certain amount of shots at a specific point in the court to go on i must have spent like three and a half minutes with with the corner shot like i just i couldn't get out it's a tough i was in a torture chamber so with my legs were just like they were jelly it's funny how dumb us guys are because you can make it you can put us through a really really hard workout and we'll complain non-stop about it but if you just put a ball in our hands while we do it and ask us to play a sport it's way easier it's why the swish house is like a genius idea but i i've got a a business idea maybe you could talk to them about this it's kind of along the, but it's a therapist, but you just play catch with your therapist while you're opening up to them about your feelings. A good game of catch.
Because that's how guys talk to each other. Yes, I like it.
Or just a therapist while watching a football game. Yeah, exactly.
Just give us something to do while sports. Yes.
But yeah, it was a bad scene to get gassed by a warm-up and then also just have jelly legs constantly. And also, just a side note, fuck you to everyone on Twitter who's being really a negative Nancy, who when I tweet a picture that I'm playing basketball, they're like, Achilles soon, ACL soon.
Why would you wish that evil on me? Yeah. Why? Everyone does.
I'm sure. That's an Achilles.
Can we at least have the cameras rolling while you work out? So in case you do Tom Segura yourself, we're going to be able to get some content out of it. It will be bad.
It will be bad. Let me just ball his life.
Some would say that it would be karma for all the injury videos that you love watching. I mean, I've hurt myself many times in my life, so I've already cashed in a lot on that karma.
Payback to the community. So you're one of those guys, then.
You're hoping I get hurt. I don't hope that.
No, I don't. But it would be awesome if it was on tape.
What are you going to say? Yeah, I mean, obviously, if I get hurt, I would be way more pissed if it wasn't on tape than actually getting hurt. What are you going to say, Hank? This is nothing new with this conversation, but I saw Ahmad Sauce Gardner's Instagram bio,
and it's Child of God, Empath, Detroit. Oh, I love that pick.
Love it. It's all my empaths out there.
Yep, shout out. Only empaths understand that you can feel things about other people.
Yeah. The war in Ukraine has been tough for all of us empaths.
Really, really tough. Billy, finish us off.
So I was at the dog park late at night. This is actually good because if you watch PMTV, he alluded to this.
So I was out there late at night. I like to go there late because there's no one there, so me and my dog can just play catch.
I can really air it out and he can get going. He's not dog aggressive.
It's just other dogs. Sounds like he is.
Some other dogs don't like him, so he getsed in the dog park So he's the victim in this This sounds a lot like all the millennial parents out there That are like my child's a special snowflake No it's your kids that are the problem Exactly I hope Billy gets a fucking Karen cancelled Calling the cops because Whitey got attacked Yeah no seriously see the video in Home Depot? There's like a two dogs fight and one of the ladies was like, get that dog's name. Well, not the owner's name.
Well, if you watch the video, if you watch the video, that was a classic example of a little dog attacking a big dog and the big dog doing what it's supposed to do. The little dogs are the worst.
All these people, they get these little Australian shepherds that are not good domestic dogs they are shepherds they're working dogs and then they get poodles too in different little poodle mixes and they're hunting dogs and they have them running around as though they're like supposed to be nice house dogs but there are literal hunting dogs in anyway i'm going around those are the dogs that's golden doodles your dog's getting picked on because he's a pussy exactly and i've trained him well to never show aggression on how to be a pussy yeah so you basically trained your dog to like never fight for itself exactly because he's the type of dog that would get improperly uh stereotyped if something did happen like in that home depot video if there is anything that i will give billy credit for is like me and him live a block away from each other we hang out sometimes trained his dog extremely well all right good job a very well trained dog except for the fact it gets its ass kicked all the time yeah yeah but i it never fights back yeah like for example i watch one of those things that the dog picked up from its owner you know how some dogs can be racist because they see their billy's dog sees billy never never defending himself against smaller aggressors right it's like oh that's how i'm supposed to behave as a man wait you're saying some dogs might be racist like like billy's dog whitey no no stop um no because basically i much i much rather i named him after my great uncle who bred bulldogs. Wait, you told me that you named him after Whitey Ford.
Whitey Ford. Right, but you named him Whitey Ford.
But it's a funny old name that doesn't get used anymore, so Whitey Ford and also that Whitey just makes sense. It's two Whiteys.
Yeah. Yeah.
It's an old Irish cat. It's all white.
It's funny. Anyway.
Jack White, the musician. I much rather have a pussy dog and a dog that bites someone and then has to get put down.
That's just the facts. Anyway, I'm at the dog park late at night.
We're all alone. It's like 12 a.m.
Guy getting his exercise before his sleep. Having a great time.
All of a sudden, there is a lady who gives off homeless vibes. I cannot for sure confirm she's homeless.
Starts creeping around the dog park. Don't know what she's doing.
She's minding her business. I'm minding mine.
Um, she's bent over behind by a tree by the street. I'm like, okay, whatever.
Don't mind too much of it. Don't know what she's doing.
Kind of thought she was using the bathroom. And I was like, fair.
It's the park, you know, do what you gotta do. Um, so then'm leaving the park.
As I'm walking away from the park, I look over to where she was squatting, and there was a big pentagram etched into the ground. And if you don't know what a pentagram is, it is a star with a circle around it.
It is satanic imagery. It's upside down.
No, it's the right side up. Exhibit A? Exhibit A.
You just drew a star. I'm pretty sure the pentagram is.
Is there an exhibit B? There we go. No, but it's upside down no it's the right side exhibit a exhibit a you just drew a star i'm pretty sure is there is there an exhibit b there we go no but isn't that what isn't that what like so you sheriffs wear on their on their shirts no no it's she was probably supporting law enforcement it was etched into the ground i don't know what i literally the thing is like i'm these things like sketch me out i'm a little superstitious it's like kind of i agree with like it's a witch symbol it's 100 a witch symbol i saw a witch in the park and i don't know what the sign was i don't know if she was cursing me i don't know what it was if you only had a dog that could take out a witch let me let me see if i can let me see if i can sum this up all right so billy's at the dog park with his non-racist dog named Whitey.
It's not. Who gets bullied all the time.
And then he saw a woman and was like, oh, that must be a witch. Did I get that? She drew an image which is closely related to satanic imagery.
I did a lot of research on the symbol because it freaked me out. So I was up all night researching it.
Kind of interesting, though, like maybe something worth... Like pursuing witchcraft myself? Yeah.
No, that stuff's too much. Actually, warlock when it's a man.
A Wiccan? Yeah. What I'm taking from this is that Billy is cursed.
Yeah, so if something bad happens, I got cursed by a witch. I need to find the witch to reverse the curse.
Downgrade the Jets draft. Yeah, I was going to say, that does not bode well for your night tonight.
And then I ate deli meat before I went to bed and had nightmares. On a scale of one to eight in Hutchinson's mom, where was this lady ranking? I didn't see her face.
She was in a hood. Well, how do you know it was a woman? I actually don't.
You saw her tits. Whoa! She had a woman figure.
Could have been a dude. No, but like size of shoulders.
Describe a woman figure. No shoulders.
Hey. You have a beard.
Drew Timmy? Could have been Drew Timmy. What are the hips like? Shorter.
She was in a giant sweatshirt with no shoulders. So that was my- So a giant sweatshirt.
You could not see the outline of the body. Was it a child? Wearing a hood.
Yeah. I don't know if you can say definitively this was a woman.
You know what? I don't know what it was. It could have been- I don't know.
But it was there. And the thing is, I swear to God, a lot of people were like, you drew that yourself.
I'm like, no, dude. I would not bring that evil upon me.
It's a Billie Witch project. Exactly.
Now you got to go back out there and try to find her. Get her on the show.
Please reverse the curse. Yeah, we probably do have some Wiccan listeners.
If you're a witch, please get in touch. It's an emergency for Billie.
Yes. Oh, look at that.
The commercial right there. Oh, my God.
There's a fucking witch on the commercial.
For those at home, I think it's the five-hour energy commercial with the witch.
Red Bull.
Red Bull.
Red Bull.
Oh, my God, Billy.
They're on to you.
And there's Chris Paul.
He's a witch, too.
Chris Paul's so dirty. Did you see him kick that guy in the nuts?
Alvarado?
He kicked in the nuts game five. I did not see that.
He did a jumper and just fucking swiftly kicked him in the nuts. After the game, Alvarado was like, well, yeah, Chris Paul's a great player, but now he knows my name.
That's kind of true. Maybe not, though.
He really pissed him off. I mean, he pissed him off to the point.
You know Chris Paul's mad when he kicks you in the nuts
because that's like his patented move.
But he does that to so many people,
he can't possibly remember everyone's name.
Maybe.
Yeah.
I love Alvarado.
Poor Pelicans.
All right.
Although not really poor Pelicans.
They won like 36 games.
Zion's coming back next year.
Zion's coming back.
Seven.
68.
22.
What's a good witch number? 13. I have a feeling.
13. 94.
Sam Hubbard. Fuck.
See everyone Monday. I think that could be a first timer.
We don't know. The Russians have trained dolphins to patrol harbors in Crimea.
Love you guys.
Talking away.
I don't know what to say.
I'm saved anyway.
Today's another day to find you.
Shying away. I'll be coming for your love, okay Shying away I'll be coming for your love, okay Take on me Take me on I'll be gone In a day of tea Needless to say I'm hot to say it But I need to let it away I'm sorry.
I'm hot to set it. But I need to
throw it away.
Slowly learn if
life is okay.
Say up to me.
It's no better
to be safe than sorry.
Say up to me.
It's no better
to be safe than sorry.
Take on
me.
Take
Thank you. It's so better to be safe and sorry.
Take on me.
Take me on.
I'll be gone. In a day of tears.
All the things that you say is in light of hope. Just a flame of worries away.
You're all the things I've got to remember. Are you shying away? I'll be coming for you anyway Take me on, I'll be gone in a deep I'll bring your energy