Coach K Is Done + Stanford Steve/Mark Titus Wing Date At Fat Harry’s In New Orleans

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we have our good friends, Mark Titus, Stanford Steve, Wing Date. We recorded live from the wing place we were at.
We also have a very special time capsule for the people. We came back right after Duke UNC finished.

Very... the wing place we're at we also have a very special time capsule for the people we came back right after duke unc finished very drunk and we recorded a recap of that game instant reactions from myself pft and hank as well as jake and then we got a little special marty mush and rico from the duke fan perspective uh we got who's back of the week a little four talk.
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Bar then we'll take it higher. Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue.
It's Part of My Take presented by Marshall Sports. Welcome to part of my take presented by Barstool Sports.
Welcome to part of my take presented by Coors Light. Today is Monday, April 4th, and Coach K is dead.
R.I.P. our sweet prince, Coach K.
He died as he lived. A loser.
What are you going to say, Hank? This is like, you're doing this again. Yeah, we have the time capsule coming up people are going to get confused so we did it for the people because everyone was like we want your instant reaction we came back from the oh that camera just went down oh my god there's like a ghost in here we came back straight from the from the Superdome to this room we recorded like 40 minutes we don't i was very drunk um so i don't i i heard that i kept on asking hank for a recap over and over because i just wanted to just just bask in his tears um so it might not make a ton of sense but i think it's a very good 40 minutes of podcast no i think it does make a lot of sense i think like, if you can put yourself into our minds and we don't do this a lot, we don't do a drunk podcast very quickly, only for special occasions, usually in new Orleans.
But yeah, big cats, right. We did ask Hank several times to weigh in and give us his feelings, but because we were drunk when we recorded, I forget what Hank said.
So Hank, can you weigh in? Like, what are your feelings and emotions of after the loss? Hank is, by the way, a special type of struggling. I looked him in the eyes even just like an hour ago.
The guy, he doesn't lose. He's not a loser.
Hank is a winner. His personality type is win.
I know that when I lose, I just go into self-deprecation and just feel bad for myself and kind of sulk around and try to make a big bet to make myself feel better. Hank doesn't have any of these coping mechanisms.
No, he does not know how to deal with losing. Page of Buckets tonight.
He's not used to it. He's cheered for successful franchises.
And I think that honestly, Duke as a university let down their most prestigious alum in Hank Lockwood. They don't deserve to have Henry Lockwood as an alumni.
If I were you, Hank, I'd burn my diploma. I might have to.
You've got to find it first. Honestly, yeah.
Honestly, waking up today was much worse. It's one of those things that the legacy.
It's just getting worse. I know how these things go.
I know how these things go. I know how, like, every single con.
Like, I know Big Cat. I know PFT.
I know how much joy this brings them. I know how often things go I know how like Every single comment Like I know Big Cat

I know PFT

I know how much joy

This brings them

I know how often

Duke gets brought up

And I'm just thinking about

Every time Duke gets brought up

Going forward

Like it's just gonna be brutal

And the fact that

It's like new coach

Next year

It's gonna be a first year coach

He's always gonna be

Compared against

Hoover Davis

Who's like

First year coaches

You can't

You can't

You can't expect anything

Right

He'll be a champion

And went to the final four

Be one of the all time coaches

Like no matter how good

Shire does

It's just like

Thank you. going to be compared against who Davis who's like first year coaches you can't win anything you can't expect anything right he'll be a champion and went to the final four be one of the all-time coaches like no matter how good Shire does it's just like it's it's bad I want

to push back on something and the 50-50 thing is brutal I think you I think you think you know how

happy I am but I'm happier than that yeah like I am way happier than that like you think I'm at

like a 10 I'm at a billion happiness I do want to walk back something that we've been saying

though I just said a second ago he's a loser calling coach K loser legacy completely

See you next time. You think I'm at like a 10? I'm at a billion happiness.
I do want to walk back something that we've been saying, though. And I just said a second ago, he's a loser, calling Coach K a loser.
Legacy completely tarnished trash. But Big Cat, I was not aware of this.
And I went back this morning. I watched all of Coach K's press conference from last night.
Oh, it's great. And I watched the final 10 minutes of the game again just so I could do a mental reset.
And I didn't realize this, but Coach K was helpfully telling the reporters after the game, this team is actually, they accomplished something very rare in college basketball. They're double champions.
They were double champions this year. And I was trying to think, what the hell is Coach K talking about? Wait, can I take a guess? Yeah.
Regional and ACC? He's counting their regular season ACC championship and winning the West region. So they are Western region champions.
Is this before or after he threw Mark Williams completely under the bus, back the bus over, then back over his body? That's the other note that I took. And left him dying, bleeding out on the street.
Because he kept saying in his press conference, you can't take one player in one play and make that mean the entire game like you might say you got to hit your free throws but you can't say that because there were other times in the game where we could have made up for it and stops we could have gone so just because a guy maybe misses some free throws you can't say it's his fault in mark williams and he kept bringing it up over and over and over again. Hopefully so.
Also, they did win the, I think they won the Continental Tire Championship, which is a weekend where they invited Campbell and Arnie or something to their house and then beat the shit out of them. Yeah.
So they're triple champions. Triple champs.
Triple crown for Duke this year. Triple champs.
By the way, we should, for Jake, let's do Marsh Madness real quick.

Because we did talk a lot about Duke in our time capsule.

So we got to talk a little about Nova in Kansas.

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So yeah, we did do a lot of Duke UNC during the time capsule. So, and we're going to, I'm just going to predict it because we're taping this before.
We're probably going to do more of it with Stanford Steve noted Duke fan. So it's going to be a duke heavy podcast so let's at least give some shine to kansas for what they did against villanova jake your view from the uh big j press row yeah it was phenomenal i do want to do one more little piece of oh please anything you want anything you want jake you the floor.
So on Friday's show, you said closest prediction was picking the winner, and they would be right. I said Duke as an attempt for a reverse jinx.
I don't think that's what you're doing. Not at all.
Nope. Apology not accepted.
Are you kidding me? Why would I want Duke to win? Jake, Coach K is in a grave. He's six feet under.
I wish you were sitting next to him. I wish you were lying next to him.
I don't agree with that. I don't wish you were dead, Jake.
I just wish that. Just maimed? Yeah, maybe your hand fell off.
Maybe leprosy. I have said some very bad things about Duke.
Yeah, no, that's true. All right, listen.
I got a problem because I basically spent all of March getting my hate up, not my weight up, but also my weight is very, very high right now. So I've noticed that I need to like, after this trip, I'll stop having like, I'm very quick to be like, no, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.
Because the Coach K hate has been all encompassing in my brain. So apology half accepted.
Okay. So, how was the view, though? Oh, do you think Paolo Banchero should have been more aggressive in the second half? Yeah, I mean.
Oh, yeah, sorry, we're not doing Duke. My bad.
Kansas Nova. Kansas was incredible.
Yeah, I know. Kansas is unbelievable.
Everyone's talking about how they made 13 threes, but their inside game offensively, McCormack got whatever he wanted. when they do this it's hype it is it is the hand on the head mad hype it is that's lit um so yeah that's what's up he had 25 points one of the dunks of the tournament uh they just literally got whatever they wanted to on both sides it's crazy as it sounds like I actually don't I didn't walk away from that game being like Nova got embarrassed.
It was just Kansas played their A-plus game. And sometimes when you lose one of your starters and then you go and play against a team that has their A-plus game, there's literally nothing you can do.
There was nothing you could do. And the entire week, I was overthinking the hell out of it.
I was going back and forth, back and forth on who I was going to bet on. I eventually bet on Villanova because I'm an absolute turkey and an idiot and a moron, but it was Obama.
Looking at it, I even said to myself, this is a don't overthink it game. Stop overthinking it.
And then I made the obvious overthinking choice and bet on Villanova. They just didn't have enough guys.
It turns out that they are only actually 5-D. They have a starting five, and I don't know what Jay Wright did recruiting or or how he's developing the rest of that team but they are just really really bad outside of those five guys and and they just hit kansas hit every shot like even nova cut it to six and with i don't know maybe like what was it like six minutes left you're like oh maybe nova's got a little something up their sleeve it's like nope kansas just gonna keep shooting the lights out they were they had definitely been the forgotten story of the final four and now they get all the shine on monday night against unc but it definitely felt like you know like oh i mean i don't even think kansas fans were mad about that because it's clear duke unc was everything everyone was talking about i think they're just happy to be like hey we no one's We're just going to go win a title.
Yeah, they flew under the radar all the way to the national championship game. And I think Kansas is actually going to win.
I'm going to bet on Kansas in the natty because I do feel like the UNC Duke game was UNC's national championship. It was bigger than a national championship for UNC.
Yeah. This is like a state, like an all-time crowning of the best college team in the state game.
Yeah. It's like an all-time championship.
It doesn't matter for this year. So I feel like it was so much emotion that got spit in that game.
It's like, okay, yeah, no one's ever going to remember that Kansas won this national championship as much as they're going to remember that Coach K went out like a sad sack of shit, melting into a tiny little sad puddle. But it wasn't about him.
Coach K said that afterwards.

He said it was always about the players.

And he did request a Photoshop into the sunset when he and his wife.

Can you get that done for him, Hank?

He said that to the media.

Yo, she looked good last night.

That's on God.

Coach K fucks like a stallion.

We know that.

We've established that.

I don't think she wears underwear.

Also, there was a really weird. I mean, I was just talking.
I don't think she wears underwear. Also, there was a really weird...

Jesus Christ.

I can't help it out.

Double bonking.

There was a moment where she was like...

Before the game, there was a clip.

It was so awkward.

She was going and greeting all the students

like she was the queen or something.

Yeah.

It was like, what is going on?

All the students were high-fiving her.

That's the one thing that I can say that I respect about Coach K is he picks a fine woman. Yes.
Dime pieces only. Smoke shows only in the K household.
Oh, I'm looking at the list, PFT. This recent entry was PFT says he wants to get slapped by a girl in New Orleans.
How's that going? I don't think I got slapped yet. But I did run into a relative of the last girl

that slapped me in a bar here.

Oh.

And yeah, so there's that.

There you go.

I will say this.

We have to tip our caps to Michael Savarino

for winning the GPA award.

Yeah.

He got honored at one of the media timeouts.

Was he sober enough to accept it?

There was kids.

This is now. We're not going to talk about Duke much more.
There were actual. No, but for listeners, yes.
The next hour and a half is still going to be talking. There were actual fans in the stands, Duke fans, wearing Michael Savarino jerseys.
What is that? I kind of want to get one. I could see myself wearing like a Coach K's grandson jersey, ironically.
Now I want one. Oh, my God.
But, yeah, Kansas was incredible. Superdome's awesome.
I mean, like the whole night, it's New Orleans. We've said it before, but, like, New Orleans, Indianapolis, and, I don't know, Vegas are, like, the best three places to hold events.
hold events but just everything works perfectly you don't have to get in a cab you can just walk everywhere my favorite part about uh like when people talk about how like in a whimsical fashion how magical the city of new orleans is they're like you know there's just like some magic in the air you can't really describe what it is no it's just everybody is drunk all that's what the magic of new orleans is that's in the air just everyone is drunk from the time they wake up until the time they go to bed yes everyone everyone is drunk having a good time um and it was a great time it was a great night okay let's let's go to the time cap so you can hear us the magical night right after we finished the game we walked right back and recorded it is brought to you by our friends at owens craft mixers owens craft mixers gives anybody the ability to make a high quality cocktail right at home it's perfect for people like us who don't have a clue about how to make cocktails from scratch you literally just pour your favorite liquor then just add owens and you're good to go it's that easy they have a variety of mixers that pair with any spirit ginger beer margarita crangarita, cranberry, the barstool transfusion, and others. Owens is at the majority of stadiums and arenas across the country.
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All right, here is the time capsule from Saturday night.

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today,

Saturday, April 2nd, 1120 p.m.

in the city of New Orleans, and Coach Mike Krzyzewski is dead. R.I.P.
Coach. Dead.
You had a hell of a run. No one can take that away from you, but you're dead, so you're not listening to this right now.
I want to take the high road, if I could. Unlike Duke, who didn't shake hands.
Unlike Coach K's grandson, who would take the drunk road. Yeah.
Oh, he won an award, though. That wasn't rigged.
So I want to take the high road for a brief second and just say that tonight's basketball game was an incredible game. We were lucky to see it in person.
Instant classic. It was an all-time game.
We're going to see it probably forever. Ever.
I would actually imagine that this will be the most replayed game of coach mike scherzowski's career it might bring back espn classic as a tv station just to play this it was a great game it was it was fantastic uh it was you know it was two heavyweights they're separated by less than 10 miles north carolina tobacco road wait but they've met before they've never played in the nca was... So, Big Cat, I don't know if you remember this, but a few weeks ago, Coach K's final night at Cameron Indoor Stadium, he played against UNC.
Yep, I do remember. And they schlacked him.
Yep, I do remember. That was bad.
And then tonight, UNC beat Duke again. He screamed at the kids.
He screamed at the kids. It was, listen, it was a great game to watch.
Credit to UNC. They were all over the offensive boards all night long.
They seemed to want it a little bit more. Coach K tried to work his magic with the refs.
Didn't work. The better team tonight won.
I think we can all say that. Oh, yeah.
We're going to miss Coach K. He's dead.
He's deceased. His legacy is tarnished forever.
It can't get worse than what happened. Well, you're right.
It's over. Hard work pays off and dreams come true.
Everyone who worked their ass off to make this possible, most notably the UNC basketball team, but everyone else who hates Duke and we gave them a voice. It happened.
The witch is dead. Ding dong, the witch is dead.
I want to give you personally, Big Cat, a gold medal. Thank you.
I appreciate that. In the hater Olympics.
You are the goat hater right now. Tonight is your night to celebrate.
I also do think, though, that tonight is Roy Williams' night to celebrate. Walking away at the right time, naming a worthy successor instead of taking a year where he had to have everybody go around and deep throat his cock and make love to him every single night.
He did not do that. He picked a good coach to take over for him.
And guess what? I actually think that tonight's victory over Duke is the final feather in the cap for Roy Williams being a better head coach in the state of North Carolina than Mike Krzyzewski was in the last 20 years. And it's the Roy Williams final because it's Kansas versus UNC.
So I had two thoughts, and we have Hank here. We're going to get to him in a second.

I had two thoughts that are crazy thoughts, but both, like, I actually gave some, like, oh, this could happen. One was this morning when I woke up.
I've been living in so much Duke and Coach K hate. It's been consuming me for basically the entire month.
and I thought to myself,

do you think if I started a serial type podcast

and I did enough investigative journalism I could make I could get coach K in in prison for life and I was like that could actually happen and then my second thought was there's like a two percent chance that UNC puts a statue up of me in Chapel Hill I'm not going to rule it out you know i'm not going to be a total narcissist and say it's like definitely going to happen but let's just say if i got a phone call in the next year and they're like hey thank you for your service because like i i did like six tours in the last week unlike yes unlike coach k handing out i was i was getting in a fight with a duke fan on the way out he was out. He was going, act like you've been here.
Show some class. And I was just doing the crying face to him.
And I was like, ooh, your team lost. And it was the Duke.
Childish. Oh, hey, Hank.
Wait, Hank. Hank, we'll get to you in a second.
Hank. We'll get to you in a second.
Can I just say, my guy, Henry Lockwood, and I've been with him for many, many years and many ups and downs. This guy, Hank, he knows ball because in the first half in the first half, he turned to me and he said, I love Caleb Love he's awesome okay can i i'm gonna say something nice

about hank you know ball you know ball because i don't know i don't think hank gets enough credit

if you go back you look at the tape from 2015 it was wisconsin duke yeah hank kind of swallowed

his duke pride yeah and he lost he was a different time he defeated you graciously yeah in that

moment i just want to give hank credit for doing that for doing all the right things. But at the same time, I also do want to laugh in every Duke fans face.
There was, there was this one Duke fan that was sitting the row in front of us tonight. Uh, and he flipped out after the loss was over and he tried to fight a UNC fan that was a row behind us.
It was the saddest fight that I've ever seen. He halfway punched the guy in the stomach, not even a full punch, and then halfway kind of hit him in the leg and then got up at his face and was like, I will fight you if you want to fight.
I will fight you. And he was trying to fight him, but he knew because he's probably a lawyer that he could not throw the first real punch that could be construed his battery it was great to see the the duke fans lose tonight although i i do want to say like it was it was an all-time game yeah it really was let's i mean it was an all-time game we can all agree with that sports are great and it made it even better that Coach K went out and his legacy is completely ruined, and Duke players didn't shake hands.
This is what I'll remember about Coach K. Yeah, and yo, listen.
Everything he's done in his entire career has been wiped away. No, it's choked.
There's nothing left. You want to talk about the all-time chokes? I think tonight was an all-time choke.
Can I tell you something else that I might do? The Cow was so fucking scared. The whole game, it didn't say a word.
It was quiet as a fucking mouse. Can I tell you something else that I might do in a great plot twist if we're going season two of this? Season two of what? I might root for John Shire to become a better coach than Coach K.
I might root for John Shire to have like, I might root for him to have six titles and to beat UNC in the tournament and like everything to be like, John Shire is tent in like, never has moments like the Pete Gaudette, never has like these terrible moments of Coach K just being a fucking asshole. It was just great.
I think there's- Oh, wait, sorry, wait, hold on. North Carolina one up duke for eternity and there is nothing eternity john rostey just walked in that was a capital e that he put on he put some stank on eternity too sorry my phone was just playing videos my bad i think that there's a good chance though that i and i know what you're saying but cat they it would be nice to have shire take over and take the program to an elite level.
I want him to be you. I want Duke and Duke fans to achieve the greatness that they deserve.
And I think that John Shire is the guy that can get them to that point. But I also think that there's a good chance that if they falter off the stretch, you might not have seen the last of Coach K.
He might come back. Well, Roy Williams might have to go to Duke and save the program.
That would be nice. So let's hear from Hank.
Let me just set the stage. On the walkout, Hank was just, he kept on mumbling to himself, this couldn't be worse.
This couldn't have gone worse. He would like literally, he would start wandering away from me and I'd get back close to him and I just hear him being like that couldn't have gone worse that couldn't have gone worse and now we've been sitting here getting ready to record and hank gave me a look like and i know you've seen this look pft where he like he looked me dead in the eyes and it was just like i'm gonna say some mean shit to you like some shit that that will hurt your soul.
He's going to start playing Cat's Cradle in my face again. But don't do that.
Yeah, you're going to do that. No, I mean, maybe you could take a lesson from Coach K, the hair, the skin gray, a lot of pictures and videos.
Oh, okay, all right, all right. No, I'm not just saying.
I was reviewing some of the tape from tonight, and it's like, whoa. Who's this silver fox? Yes, I am.
By the way, we did have the conversation before this game, what would it be to my legacy if Coach K ended up winning the national championship? Good thing we don't have to answer that. My legacy has never been higher.
This will be the first line in my obituary. I killed Coach K.
I did. Yeah, a war hero.

I killed him.

Pretty much war hero.

Sometimes the haters win.

Yeah.

Yeah, no, no, no.

This is a rare time when the haters are the correct side of history.

Yes, this is like if Ross Perot was president.

But this is like there's losses that are bad and there's losses that the ripple effect.

And it's like, trust me, I fucking know Big Cat.

Oh, yeah, he kept on saying that. He goes have this he's gonna have this over my head forever and then as he would say that another unc fan would come up and be like can we get a picture and they'd be like we did it and i'm like we did it so hank like you know ball dude you said you're like my eyes are on caleb love i bet i bet heavily on him againstley one of our good friends one of my good friends I was texting him a lot about Caleb Love during the UCLA game I was like I love Love I bet on I bet on him against Baylor Love Love great player I was you know and it was casual in the first half we were like just talking just going back and forth I was like Caleb Love great player I put it in the back of my head If I know Hank is probably one of the smartest basketball minds I've ever been around, and he was like, watch out for Caleb Love.
This guy's got big shot potential. He doesn't give a fuck.
That's what I respect about him. The moment wasn't too big for him because he doesn't care.
He just wants to fucking shoot no matter what the circumstances are. He made it.
Mark Williams. There was some.
There was some. Oh, look at this.
A Duke fan talking about the refs. There was some questionable foul calls.
Yes. And I will say there was some questionable foul calls, but the real reason they lost was the Mark Williams shooting – missing those two free throws.
Basically turned the game where it was like they were going from a one-possession game to like a four-point game where it's's like you got to play the foul game. You make those two free throws.
Caleb Love, 75-74. Completely different game.
The ball's on him to hit that shot. And Baycott with playing on like half a leg.
Oh, dude. The guys on this guy.
I'd be surprised if he ever walks again. I don't think he'll ever walk again.
If you have a fucking injury timeout where like they call a wheelchair and an ambulance on the court, you should have to stick out for more than five seconds because he was back in the game. They called the ambulance and then he walked back in the game one minute later.
Hank, shut up. Do you think that Coach K burning all his timeouts to complain to refs and work the refs was a mismanagement of the game when you got to the end and he had no timeouts unc had three timeouts duke had zero that feels like a big mistake by coach k yeah i mean it's hindsight's 2020 but oh no i said actually that's having having time that's not true because i said that actually having in front of us said uh unc doesn't have any timeouts i said sir you are wrong unc has three duke has zero there were actually a few moments where i i stood up and i told marty and rico take a timeout yeah you need to take a time out and show a timeout they didn't have because he used it for the refs used it to yell at the refs also i think it maybe set a bad tone for his team that he was sitting on his little mushroom toadstool he couldn sidelines.
He couldn't even what? Like, how are you going to expect your players to give their all when you can't even stand up on the sidelines? You've got your prescription stool on the sidelines that you're sitting on and just screaming at the refs. You know ball, Hank.
I gave you credit. You know ball.
You said, Caleb Love, keep your eyes on him. He's probably going to hit a big shot that will end Coach K's life and career.
You said that to me. Now, all that being said, I'm probably going to bet on Kansas in the championship game.
I might have been thinking about it. This was UNC's title game, for sure.
Yeah, no. And listen, every time the Duke fans try to talk, UNC fans can just fucking slap this game right on the table.
Forever and ever and ever. Yep.
For all time. Your coach literally lost his last game of his career to your arch rival in the Final Four.
On his coaching tombstone, it will say... He's coming back.
I'm saying this right now. 1986, or whenever he started coaching.
1980, I think. I think i will call my dad and then the end date will be unc killed him he's coming back you know what the best part is pft as someone who's you know i i like ball i don't know ball like hank no you're a ball head i'm a ball head ball's life um one of my favorite parts about this game and like this rivalry is it was always for the longest time.

It's tied.

Duke has.

Oh,

actually it is tied.

That's true.

That,

that when I saw that stat that he was 50 and 49 against UNC,

how could you ever think that he was going to lose that game?

Not a winning record.

Yeah.

Not a winning record.

The,

but the best part is like forever in the nineties and early twos it always was like duke has like unc has the better players duke has the better team like duke plays better as a team now duke has all the talent unc just plays better as a team it's beautiful how it all just kind of he got drunk on the one and done age and he and it all fell apart. You needed a guy like Brady Manick who's like 35 years old.
He didn't have it. They needed to give Bates Jones a few more minutes.
Yeah, Bates Jones got to get hot. Bates was MIA all night night.
I do want to kick it over to Marty who's been sitting here this entire time with this exact look on his face. Marty sat two rows away from me, two seats away from me for the entire night.
We were going at it. It was a hell of a game, though, right, Marty? You can admit that.
Yeah. That was the meanest 15 minutes of my life.
I don't think it was. It could have been so much meaner.
My best material was probably used at Hank's expense on the walk walk home i was just unloading the clip you just put so much effort into it to kill you to kill everyone i'm not no no no no no no no i killed your coach you did there's a there's a wanted poster in fucking in in durham right now it's my face and because i killed your coach i actually wouldn't want's going to come back. I actually wouldn't be shocked.
What happens when he comes back? Listen, I wouldn't be shocked. This is another thing.
Oh, he's coming back. He's coming back.
This is my third craziest thing that I'm going to say, along with the I could probably get him imprisoned and I might have a statue at Chapel Hill. I wouldn't be shocked if the authorities knock on my hotel room door tomorrow morning and they're like, you're under arrest for killing a man.
You're like, who? I'm going to call him. Coach Mike Krzyzewski.
It's just, I'll call him right on you. I hope you go to jail.
Yeah, I would love to go to jail for that. You're a scumbag.
I just think there's just so many. There's not a jury in the world that would convict you.
I would just hand him my little card that I've just been passing out to everyone. Not a jury, no.
Oh, he was justified. No.
You'd be bad in jail. That card? Oh, please.
You kidding me? It would be like Hulk Hogan versus Gawker all over again. People would take Big Cat's side.
Yep. There's just no reason.
There's so many other things you could like this much. There's so many apples in the world, and I could just wake up to that and be happy.
And this is stupid. You're stupid.
You're stupid. You're stupid.
I don't like any of you. You guys are all stupid.
You're stupid. You're stupid too.
Marty. All you are stupid.
Can I ask you a question, Marty, real quick? What? Did you take the can't lose parlay? Because I'm sorry about that. I didn't.
That's a shame that it lost. You know when it comes down to it, I'm not mentally ready for it.
There's people that bet in the sports market here. I bet it.
You did fake parlays. I said it was my last gun on the bullet, and it worked.
And I did. It worked.
And it killed people. As soon as Kansas won, I was like, yep, we're good.
I did good for so long, and then you got me in the last game. Can't lose parlay.
Marty, do you think that Duke's loss today, and worse specifically, Coach K's loss today. Death.
Death, PFT. His death today, it impacts you as a human being.
Do you feel like your entire life has been a fraud? I'm done. By staking your entire sports fandom on somebody that turned out to not be able to get it done.
Can I tell you something? Five national championships. I'm done.
Because if they win next year, it doesn't matter. Oh, no.
I hope they do because I'm a Josh Shire guy. You're more of a Coach K fan than you are a Duke fan.

Yeah.

You sound bad.

Honestly, Marty, that's sad.

Yeah, that's the worst.

That's very sad.

You're the worst human being alive.

I would understand if you were a Duke fan, but you're just a fan of a man.

Oh, yeah.

I'm a terrible man at that.

It's like guys that are diehard fans of golfers or race car drivers. What's wrong with that? I just really like Phil Mickelson.
Danny Ricardo. I'd jerk him off when he's tested.
I would do anything for that guy. You're a fucking Kelly guy.
Oh, Hank's starting to lash out. Here it comes.
All right, Hank, let's go back to you real quick. Marty's too depressed.
It's not fun when he's like he won't even put his hands up. Danny Woodhead? He's depressed.
Excuse me? That's a guy. Listen, Marty, I'm on your side now.
I want John Shire to win 10 championships. He's going to win.
We're going to win next year. That's what you're going to have.
That's going to be great. John Shire's a hell of a coach.
He's better coach than Coach K. If you come to Duke's side, that's fine by me.
I'm not going to come to Duke's side. I'm giving you guys a little cross- little because you know I control destiny.
Hey, can I say something? I am God. Can I say something serious about Duke's basketball team? Wait, wait, wait.
I want to say something serious about Duke's basketball team this year. The talent that they had on this team was incredible.
You should not hang your head. They were great players.
You had Bancaro, probably the best player in the country.

You had Roach.

Where was he at the end of the game?

Playing at the top of his game.

You had Kiehl's, who is one of my favorite players in college basketball.

You've got a great, great starting five.

Two or three.

Oh, here we go.

I'm trying to pay you a compliment.

They had a great team this year. Great team.
Yeah, final four. The talent level was enormous.
Top four. They probably should have won the championship.
They were so good. Where was Paolo, by the way? But they didn't have the coaching.
I'd love to ask that question because he had maybe the quietest 19, 21 points. Like every time they needed.
Oh, hey, Jake. Every time they needed a big bucket at the end,

he wasn't there.

Shout out, Jake, by the way.

Jake texted the group text

right before tip.

He goes,

oh my God, I can't believe it.

We all were like, oh shit.

I can't believe this is happening.

He's putting out the handshake.

He's not shaking hands. Hey, Jake, I'll's not shaking hands hey jake i'll shake your hand unlike duke i'll shake your hand oh hank so so right before we right before we start uh the game started he goes i can't believe this is happening and i thought he got kicked out of uh press row because he was looking at porn and because he was i i thought he was he was looking at browsers the browsers the whole time.
He has a subscription. I thought that there was something weird going on because it sounded like he was in a panic mode.
Yeah, right. And it was in between the games and there was nothing going on at the time.
And he goes, I can't believe this is happening. We all replied like, what? And he goes, Duke UNC in the final four.
It was like, so Jake, how was the porn it was awesome the Wi-Fi kind of interrupted my halftime plans oh shit hold on we don't have you we don't have the mic for Jake um Marty yeah say it again it was awesome but the Wi-Fi kind of interrupted my halftime plan. Yeah.
Now, Jake, you were – this is junk podcasting at its finest, by the way. Take Marty.
Bubba has been out. We've all been out.
We've all been drinking all day. Take Marty's.
Marty's too sad anyway. I actually wouldn't be shocked if we just don't record any of this.
This is probably never going to see the light of day. I honestly don't care.
Yeah, no, it's awesome. Jake, you saw Coach K afterwards.
Yes. What did he say at the podium? Did he, I saw the quote from Paolo that he was like, Coach K never made it about himself.
I can't even say it without laughing. He wouldn't really answer many questions based off his career.
It was more just this season. Oh, because it wasn't about him.
Right. Right.
Just about recapping this group of players. And what did he say? Was he like, I shouldn't have used all those timeouts complaining to the refs? No, I didn't say that.
He was just very, he was reflecting a lot. He was cracking jokes a little bit at the end.
Oh, that's good. He's in good spirits.
At the end when he walked, so I got the video of him and his wife on the golf cart. She's a smoke, by the way.
Mickey, yep. Escorted out.
I'll put it on the list. And he waves.
He's like, someone's got to Photoshop a sunset. We should make a smoke show of the day.
Into this ride. And everyone laughed.
Oh, no. So, yeah.
He's keeping it light. I think he's more just reflecting.
The players were definitely more dejected than him. Jake, did you have a question in the chamber ready to ask him? I did.
I had my hand raised. Oh, was it going to be about Pete Gaudet? No, it was going to be something totally appropriate.
Oh, okay. Pete Gaudet's pretty appropriate.
The guy got fucking shipped to Siberia. Marty, go back to Marty real quick.
Marty wouldn't shake my hand. Yeah, Marty wouldn't shake his hand.
Not surprising. Not surprising.
Yeah. Terrible sportsmanship.
Can't lose with class, but that's what it's all about. Marty Mush as Finest.
I actually do think that they were outcoached in the second half a little bit. They didn't change anything up defensively.
They didn't try going to that zone, Marty. You have to be a little bit disappointed in the coaching of this game.
It was bad coaching, Marty. Really bad.
It was bad coaching. It was bad coaching, Marty.
Marty, it was bad coaching. I don't know what's worse.
But, Hank, let's go back to you. Big K, you want to get Rico on? I don't ever want this.
Yeah, Rico, come over here. Rico, come over here.
Marty, you get out of here. You're a dead corpse.
You're a dead corpse. You're a dead corpse, Marty.
Get out of here. All right, so here comes Rico.
I will say I had one pick today, and it was Paolo over 17 and a half points. Good.
Good job. It would have been nice if he scored some important points instead of just – Yeah, he just scored points in the first half when it didn't matter.
All right, so here's Rico Bosco. If you're not familiar with Rico Bosco, he's the biggest Duke fan in the world.
Hold on, hold on. Big Out did not say a fucking word for the entire game.
I was very nervous. He was quiet as a fucking mouse.
I was very nervous. Well, he's about results.
And then just fucking exploded. Sorry that he's not talking trash before the game.
He's waiting for the results. It was a legacy game for me, Hank.
I've had a lot of... There was a nice group of ladies behind us that were Duke fans, that were young Duke fans, girls, not even bonked.
He's actually lying because they were so annoying. He said five synonyms for women.
He's lying. It was like zero to two and North Carolina scored and Big Cat turned around and started fucking cutting their necks off and giving them the throat slash.
I did the throat slash. I had like two minutes in, yeah, I did the throat slash.
All right, so... I'm right in their face.
So we have Rico Bosco joining us. Rico, if you're not familiar with Rico, first of all, you should be.
Everyone knows Rico. Second of all, he's the biggest Duke fan in the world.
He was calling out the sets. He was calling picks.
We were up in the nosebleeds, and Rico was calling picks out, letting the guys know when screens are coming in the nosebleeds. Yeah, you weren't that bad of a seat.
Rico. That's the internet.
Rico. Oh, Rico was blocking people who said they had bad seats.

Rico, you realize that's something that happens every time you take a picture of any...

People are saying I had bad seats.

Yeah, people don't realize that a football field and a basketball court are different

sizes.

I want to thank Game Time for the terrific seats.

There you go.

My college at Boston for allowing me to go to the game.

First of all.

Right.

You get what you get.

You don't get upset.

This is your first Final Four game ever?

Ever.

What a dream.

It was.

Then it was a nightmare.

Rico, scale one to ten, how disappointed are you in the end of Coach K's career?

How tarnished do you think his legacy is?

Yeah, I was talking to Marty.

It's difficult because he had his hopes up the whole season.

I got my hopes up for tonight after knowing what I had seen

and got my heart ripped out again.

You watched.

I did.

You got his heart ripped out.

I was a seven-year-old all night again.

You did.

I didn't want to get it to this moment because it would have hurt just as bad.

You're usually very mature.

Rico.

Yeah, it would hurt just as bad.

Rico, do you think they should put a statue of me in Chapel Hill?

I think it's possible.

I might get the same one.

I love you, Hank.

I fucking love you, dude.

Hank also just spilled the whole drink on his lap

before we started recording.

My phone, my phone's not working.

Yeah, it was, I mean...

I don't know why they're laughing so hard. He was not as sharp as he has been in the past couple of years yeah you think it's like mine's deteriorating a little bit i don't want to say that you don't that's you don't joke about that i'm not quite you you said it you yeah it's a question dude you want some like you literally said it a second ago no it wasn't we yeah just couldn't get the stops they couldn't stops that they needed.
I talked about it all year with the defensive efficiency in the last couple months.

They were kind of playing with house money.

Sorry.

Sorry.

You're talking about defensive efficiency.

They couldn't get stops.

Okay, that act.

They couldn't get stops.

That's what turned out to be the game.

They had a shitty first half, and they still gave up 81 points.

I got you, Bernie.

I got you.

I'm bringing you back.

A lot of easy buckets. You guys talking about Ken Palm when we're burying Coach K.
A lot of easy buckets. Couldn't play deep.
That's what it came down to. What about those timeouts that I told you you should be taking? You said it.
I did. I did.
I said it. You denied it in the moment.
To be fair, roasting him right now when you say a 10-minute, and've been recording for like 45 minutes right and you're like what are you talking about i did tell bubba i was like don't worry about it we're gonna record for 10 minutes yes we also got texts we also got texts hank and i were apart from bubba and memes and pft there was a text in the middle of the two games of pft taking a little snooze. And then, like, 10 minutes later, it was PFT texted of Liam taking a fucking snooze.
So there were some snoozes going on. No, I mean, I had to recharge the batteries for a little bit.
That first, we should also say congratulations to Kansas. We already recapped.
This is a time capsule. But I had to recharge the batteries in between the games for a little bit.
So assume I fell asleep at my seat for about 10 minutes. No, it's nothing wrong.
It was just funny the back-to-back. Because it was like the guy who took the picture of you sleeping then fell asleep.
Yeah. It was actually a beautiful night of basketball.
Anybody out there that's a basketball fan, anyone that's a... Yeah, make yourself feel better, buddy.
Yeah, Hank. Hit it.
Hit that. Hit that.
Hit that, pal. It was a great night for everybody that loves the the sport I think it's just a great night right let's give it up for basketball guys yeah basketball won tonight and also UNC and coach K lost so Rico um it's it's over though his his legacy's gone yeah we had an awkward moment where Hank I'm a stub guy, and Hank was like, I can't believe you saved that.
And I did equate it to you get a prayer card when you leave a funeral. Yeah, there it is.
Great point. Wait, you had a ticket stub? It's over.
No, I didn't get a ticket stub. You want me to? Because I had your ticket.
I just burped some smoke up. Because Rico, I had your ticket.
I can send you a screenshot of the ticket. So you can have a stub.
QR code. Where did that come from? It was in my ball sack.
It would have been one thing, too, if he lost to Roy Williams. He loses to a first-year coach.
Oh, man. Has a first-year coach ever? Yeah.
First-year coach is actually. Well, Steve Fisher won six games.
But he didn't win the championship, right? No, he did. He came in.
He took over. That's the famous Michigan man.
89, Glenn Rice. Yeah.
Ramil Robinson, they beat him. Yeah.
Hank, I mean, you've been kind of silent. What do you think about the game? It was a bad game.
The girls behind us were great. They were in your ear.
You keep talking about these girls. Why do you keep talking about these ladies behind you? The girls behind us were saying, She's not going to fuck you, bro.
Every time they go, Let's go Duke. We had nice seats.
We had some loud. Not obnoxious.
I would never say obnoxious about fellow Duke fans, but they were loud. Yeah, were they girls? They were girls, but it was more like, I was next to Big Cat, and then I had backup next to me.
I felt like we were all together, just chirping Big Cat. He was dead silent.
I was focused. Didn't say a fucking word.
I was focused. Didn't say a fucking word.
I was at work. This kid, he's been talking for an hour, and now, but the whole game, he's had more in the past seven minutes yeah last the entire game and I was at work this last after the cable after the cable of three everything is a baller and those two free throws you guys notice that the uh the rims and the shoes were way squeakier tonight like yeah they had a microphone on the rim yeah they had a microphone yeah everything was magnified and the clans were magnified.
The shit was clanging. The clangs were clanging.
It was just a great night for ball.

All right, so I guess we should wrap this up.

Yeah, Bob was saying that.

I had a great time.

It was awesome.

There we go, Jake.

Yes. It was so cool.

Way to go, Jake.

Not even just like the result, just like the experience.

Yeah.

But the result helped.

It was a night we'll remember forever. Forever.
Forever. i tweeted at the final media everyone for the fight for the next 3 35 of basketball time you will remember what happened for the rest of yeah we laughed about that one just in fact honestly i think my favorite part of tonight the whole experience of the final four was getting to watch jake watch it for the first time yeah as like a life goal to be covering it as a journalist i'm very proud of you jake and and the best part was he was on press roads like he doesn't have a column he was just tweeting no deadlines for this one it was like what's jake doing over there he's just tweeting yeah and i got some interviews yeah no you did but like

during the game it was very funny like all those guys are stressing about like what they're gonna write it's like yeah you just gotta tweet yeah new age yeah um all right hey why don't you end it why don't you tell us what you think what do you think about the game what do you think about the I got it's over.

Nothing.

Cat got your tongue? It's just tough. It's tough.
It's tough. It's very tough.
It's tough. It's very tough.
Any other team with Carolina, I think I could spin it. I don't really know what to say.
You can't spin this one. I don't know.
It's literally, there's no out. Literally, if it was Kansas, if it was Villanova, if it was any other blue blood, Kentucky.
Yep. Like, literally any other team.
Any other blue blood. You can't get out of this one.
You could spin it. Michigan State.
It's trash. It's trash.
His legacy is in a garbage can. I don't like, yeah.
Yeah. I could go, let's hear from Hank.

A hundred times.

I will stay here forever.

I think he's done it ten times.

I will stay here forever.

I want to save this moment.

I do think we should let Hank have the final word, though.

What do you think about the game, Hank?

Make it free throws.

That's it.

If you want my word, my one takeaway, if you're a kid, maybe you're an up-and-comer, you're a four or five-star recruit, you want to know some advice, make your free throws. Yeah.
Make your fucking free throws. All right.
That's the time capsule. Okay.
Let's do some who's back, and then we will get to Stanford Steve and Mark Titus, our wing date, our long-awaited wing date. Hank, would you like to start with your who's back? Sure.
Okay. I have a few.
Oh, great. Hasboula.
Yep. Shout out to Sunday Conversation.
Hasboula, I feel like everyone kind of has seen his videos, doesn't know a lot about him. Caleb put out a video, a little backstory, funny, serious.
I actually, I want to start the bandwagon supporting hezbollah for the 2022 uh secretary of the interior of dagestan yeah he says he wants to run for that position i say let him have it basically his entire profile is like you shouldn't have to have a license plate to drive a car it was it was tinted windows except for the back not the back and And no speed limit on the highways, lower speed limit in the city. Sounds sick.
It's great. Yeah.
And then I'm actually now racking my brain to remember if we talked about this the other day, Dan Snyder. Yes.
We did. Well, no, we didn't talk about it.
Okay. He's back.
Major. I know we were talking about it.
Sometimes when we're together so much and we're like drinking and stuff, I forget what was was conversations on the show yes we have and you probably will you're right sometimes we're together so much we don't know we haven't we haven't talked to stanford steve yet and that's going to be like another hour so yeah can't wait for that to come up but but hank hank is right like the day that dan snyder lord willing either dies painfully or has to sell the washington football team he's cooking the books. He was just doing double books.
Kind of respectful. You know who else had two books? Who? The Bible.
The Bible. Part one and two.
Yeah. No, apparently he was either cooking the books in terms of how he was using it to file for some of his debt or some of his loans he was getting, had two separate books, or this is the more explosive charge that got put out last night that Congress is looking into.
Apparently, Dan Snyder was withholding ticket money from the other NFL owners. They put it into a pool.
They put like 40% of their ticket gate into a pool, then redistribute it. Apparently, Snyder was lying about how much money he was getting in his gate.
So he was actively stealing from the other owners. And like you can, here's basically how the NFL works.
You can have like active sexual harassment charges against 40 former employees. You can probably own a sweatshop.
But if you steal a million dollars from jed york they want to kill you and so it looks like if anything's going to happen this would be what could bring dan snyder down i'm telling you i will throw a fucking parade through the streets of water anywhere i'll just i'll have a parade location to be determined if dan snyder sells a team or dies wenzel arizona i am having a fucking party and it will be the best will be better than a Superbowl for me at that day. I cannot wait.
I hope it's going to happen. Florio just texted me a second ago and was like, we're as close as we've ever been to him getting to sell the team.
It's like the doomsday clock, but it's also like the arrow. He's always on top of that.
Florio's never been wrong. Schrodinger's Schrodinger Snyder at this point.
He's dead he's alive but he's about to die I can't wait yeah I didn't know is that it uh Thad Mata's back which I don't what's the controversy around him people were like surprised I don't think it's he had health issues at the end of the wild I didn't know if it was like uh yeah I saw the reaction people were like I can't believe he's back yeah I don't know if it was because he got busted. The list of the Big East coaches now.

Oh, give it to us, Jake. It's going to be so much fun.

Is it wild?

Wait, rank him, Jake.

Well, you have coach of the year, Ed Cooley.

Yeah.

Saw him, by the way.

He's awesome.

Did too, yep.

Such a nice guy.

He said, I made his final four, which I don't believe, but just for him to say that, it

feels good.

Oh, he told me the same thing.

I saw him, yeah.

Yeah.

He's like, you made my final four.

Love it.

And then I saw, he saw an old lady. He's like, you made my Final Four.
He just kept on saying that. These 11 coaches are in the list I tweeted, so I guess they could be my rankings, just the names that came to my head.
Jay Wright, Ed Cooley, Dan Hurley, Sean Miller, new, Shaka Smart, Patrick Ewing, big name, but yeah. Whoa.
Big name, big name. They stink.
They didn't win a game they stink yeah uh she's all the way i see you right now jake is friend of the program i like it uh thad mata new and then mike anderson st john's and then greg mcdermott and tony stubblefield so got it roster not that is pretty good the beast is back yeah yeah so thad mott is. So he was the AD at Indiana, right? No, he was just on the staff at Indiana.
He's like a behind-the-scenes guy. Okay.
He wasn't on the bench. He helped with recruiting and stuff.
I mean, he's a good coach. He's had a lot of success.
We'll see how he does. But, yeah, I agree with you, Jake.
It's going to be like the fact that there was three openings at the Big East this year, and those three got filled by Sean Miller, Thad Mata, and Shaheen Holloway is pretty something. I do like it when the Big East has that allure of great coaches.
It's kind of like a throwback to the old days where it's like, okay, these coaches, I could actually see them getting into fights with each other, which I love. Your who's back, PFT? My who's back is the course at Augusta National, Georgia.
Oh, yeah. So tough look over the weekend, admittedly.
Our two recurring guests on the podcast, a long time, Stoolies, Bryson DeChambeau, and Dude Perfect got together, and they did their little weirdo Calvin Ball sport where they go out on the golf course and just bring every piece of sporting equipment that they have.

I don't really understand the rules.

Not just any golf course, though. But they went to Augusta.
Amen's Corner. Yeah.
So there are people saying it's a tough look for the course. I agree.
However, I also think that this is going to be motivating for the course. Like the groundskeepers have gotten dragged this past weekend for letting those goofballs essentially take a piss on god's grass and so they're gonna you know what's gonna happen the course is gonna show its teeth yeah they're gonna put some fucked up pin placements they're gonna grow the rough out a little bit i think it's gonna be a fucked up course this week i'm i'm excited for it now i understand um golf fans being disgusted by this because obviously augusta there's nothing sacred here's the thing augusta is stuck now because they've their entire like their entire mo forever has been exclusivity sacred once a year no women yeah no All this stuff, right? And so that's what has made it special, especially the no women part, like dudes only, guys.
So by the way, did you, who? Oh, Glennie Balls. Phil Leotardo has a book that we got to do a book reading of.
It's How to Be a Man's Man by a Guy. Yeah.
It's a great book, but that's either here nor there. So they've had this entire history of this exclusivity.
Now, like, we're in a different age. They're trying to figure out a way to get new fans.
So they have to, like, start doing new things, and you get this. You get Dude Perfect.
You get Bryson DeChambeau. It was one of those things, though, when it came out, I screenshotted some tweets because I was just laughing so hard.
Because, again, I actually am on the side of golf hardos that, like, if you say that exclusivity is your thing and it's sacred, you can't have this. But some people's reactions.
I think Augustus should be the one place that you should be able to be a dick about being exclusive there. It's kind of nice to have this one prestigious spot that has completely arbitrary rules that make no sense whatsoever.
You can't even bring cell phones to the mask. I love it.
I don't know why I love it. I just do.
You can fucking do perfect and fucking do frisbee golf on Amen's Corner. The way that they usually act is saying, fuck you, it's a privilege for us to let you into this place.
You should be thanking kissing our feet to get in but at the same time you can't also be like hey we found it we took five tiktok stars and dropped them out of an airplane onto the 13th fairway and they're going to go out there make content for an afternoon you can't do it both ways yeah so the so i screenshotted some reactions because i just thought they were very funny um one said shouldn't be done at augusta honestly stunned this got approved that's totally normal whatever uh shocking and disgusting stuff from augusta national can't believe what i'm seeing another person said i feel sick seeing this on sacred grounds and then the last one i saw was i watched both my parents die this is the worst thing I've ever seen. I'll never recover.

That was actually from our colleague, Kirk Minahan,

which I got a good chuckle of.

But I understand there are golf fans who this is the worst day of their lives.

Watching that happen.

Welcome to our army.

We've been fighting a two-front battle against Dudes Perfect

and Bryson DeChambeau for the last four years on this this podcast. So listen, I'm happy to have all the haters aboard.
I think we've got a good track record on this podcast of using our hate for good causes. So let's unite.
We killed coach K next up is the dude. Perfect guys.
I do think though that the, the course will have its vengeance. The course is angry.
You've angered the course, the golf gods, the marketing team at Augusta is the one that is responsible for this. The actual groundskeepers, they're going to do Michael Jordan meme.
I took that personally. You know what, though? It's just popped in my head, and we have our good friend Max Homa on next Wednesday to preview the Masters.
Now that the Masters have been completely tarnished and it's a Mickey Mouse course course who's better to win it than max homa that's true it's kind of his it's his championship to win now that's very very true like he's the king of the fortnight playstation 5 mickey mouse trophies you know what yeah he's probably gonna ask for his his double champion yeah he's gonna ask for his green jacket and like in pink something. So, yeah, I'm excited to watch Max.
I forgot what I was going to say. I had some other fun fact about Augusta that I read earlier this week.
Oh, well, really, the last that we saw of the true course, when Matsuyama's caddy bowed to the course. Yes.
At the end, that was really the end of Augusta, as we know it. That was it.
It was over. It was over.
All right, my who's back is LeBron because this is just so – I know that people have gone in and out of watching the Lakers and being like, why are we talking this much about a team that's not in the playoffs? It's just great to watch. The Friday night game against the Pelicans when he did an April Fool's joke in the middle of the day where he's like, I'm out for the rest of the season.
See you all in the fall. And then he airballs a three to try to win that game.
They need every game. It's also great because his tweet's coming back and everyone's retweeting it over and over.
I think he actually deleted it when he said, keep talking about my squad, our personnel ages, the way he plays, he stays injured, we're past our time in this league, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Do me one favor, please, and I mean please, keep that same narrative energy when it begins.
That's all I ask. Hashtag thank you, King's Crown.
And we are keeping that same energy. And it is great.
I don't want to keep that same energy. I don't want to keep remembering that but he asked me to he did and so i you know far be it for me to disobey one of lebron james's orders who i mean we are his he is the king and we are his his peasants he is the greatest athlete that the world has seen where we serve him yeah he didn't play today either so which 20 teams in the nba makes playoffs which is crazy yeah and he's not to be one of them.
And I really want them to make the playoffs because I want them to lose. I would like them to get swept in the playoffs.
That would be fun. I've almost reached a point where I feel bad for LeBron.
No. Never.
I feel a little bit bad for the guy. We're making a hate card for LeBron.
I'm addicted to the hate card game. Just passing him out.
It's going to happen. Well, one thing people don't remember is when he pulled his penis out on television.
remember i saw it i saw it in 4k actually i don't think 4k was around then thank god um all right jake you're who's back my who's back of the week is pain for mets fans the season has not started yet let me guess jacob de grom and max scherzer they're both hurt oh that's tough it's almost funny how they had an unbelievable offseason. By the way.
Yeah. I mean, that's the mess.
Yeah. By the way, who's back? The Yankees.
Because as Brian Cashman said, he doesn't like what people say. He hasn't been to the World Series since 2009 because in 2017, the Astros stole it from him.
So please respect that the Yankees did go to the World Series that year. Yeah, can you imagine? The Yankees probably would have played really well and won several World Series if they had cheated.
But they didn't. They're too classy.
When is that report coming out? And they would never. I think they're unredacting the letter pretty soon.
And I don't know exactly what's going to be on it. I just know that any time something that gets unredacted, I'm there for it.
I love reading unredacted information. No defense like, yeah, it feels like you're Edward Snowden.
Jack, yeah, what's his name? Jack Ryan. Yes.
Poor mess fans. This is tough.
All right, that's good who's back. Thanks.
How are we doing, guys? We good as a podcast? Yeah, Hank, what are your thoughts? Can't wait for wings. What do you think about Coach K? Sad.
I wish he... It's tough.
50-50 is tough. 50-50 is tough.
He was an average coach. 51-49.
He was an average coach with great players. Beat the rivals.
Championship wouldn't have mattered, truthfully, if they won or lost that. Oh, you mean that was your championship? Yeah, that was.
How many games do they have to beat North Carolina? And he's coming back, by the way. This is to be erased.
I was talking with Marty on Benchmob. If Duke wins every game the next decade in the regular season, I don't know how much it does.
Yeah, they have to meet again in the fucking Final Four. Is that going to happen? Probably not.
I agree with Hank, though. I do think that Coach K, there's a good chance that we haven't seen the last of him.
I'm rooting for him. I'm rooting for him to come back all the way because it would be such a great moment of like, I think there's a lot of people who realize how big of a dick he is.
Then there's Duke fans. But if he comes back, like.
You're just making that up. No, there's a lot of people.
There's a lot. There's at least 500 because I passed out 500 cards in Bourbon Street this weekend.
But if he comes back, people will double down and be like, oh, my God. I'll just have to.
Good for the sport. I might have to take a sabbatical and just commit my life to following him around on his second retirement.
Did you guys hear this question I was asked to him after the game? We're not going to talk about Duke anymore, though. No, wait.
Just listen. Listen.
Here we go. I know I'm speaking for all of college basketball, but thank you.
Thank you for everything you've done. The best is when Coach K says, you're welcome for everything I've done for the sport of college basketball.
Oh, my God. Yeah, you're welcome.
All right. Let's get to Titus and Stanford Steve, the long-awaited wing date,

live from Fat Harry's.

Shout out Fat Harry's.

Before we do, I want to talk to you about Venmo.

I don't know who's paying for this meal, but the rest of us,

we're going to Venmo it.

You know what?

Let's make Stanford Steve pay for it.

Yeah.

I feel like Steve, it's his turn.

He's due to pick up the check.

I will Venmo him back.

That's a promise.

We'll let him get the points.

Send him a Venmo later.

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Now we're going to get back to our wing date with Stanford Steve and Mark Titus. And now our wing date with Stanford Steve and Mark Titus.
Okay, we are here at Fat Harry's in New Orleans. The famous wing date has happened.
It's Titus, Stanford Steve, PFT, Hank, myself. I mean, we've got to start with Titus.
It was the first time he's ever had buffalo wings. I was just going to say, look at the fulfillment in his face, PFT.
It looks like a man. Really? It's like a marathon.
I can just see it in your face. First time ever.
I've ever had chicken of any kind. It is.
it is Jim Harbaugh did teach us it's a nervous bird.

All right.

So I'm going to – as I've explained on the show a million times,

it wasn't the chicken.

It was the scene around the chicken that is the – I mean, look at this.

Look at this.

If you're watching, I mean, look at this alphas.

You feel at home.

Just, you know, setting up shop here.

I mean, Stanford Steve does look like an alpha right now.

He really does, dude.

He's wearing a throwback bird. He looksained warm-up.
He looks like a guy from Boston in 1990 that's named Johnny McGloin. He's wearing it.
He's in weekend jail. They let him out Monday through Friday for attempted stabbing.
I got an uncle named Sully. Sully, yeah.
He's doing it to cheer up Hank. I did.

Because his Duke, we promised we wouldn't talk too much about Duke,

but his Duke Blue Devils did lose Hank.

I keep saying that.

We've done nothing but Coach K content for a week and a half. You're going to be covering the MLB All-Star game this summer and be like,

Hank.

Remember the time Coach K lost to UNC?

But, no, we're here.

Fat Harry's unbelievable establishment.

Nicest people.

The owner was back here telling us a story. They've been

running this place since the 70s.

Unbelievable wings.

Great wings. And I think

that's just what I want to drive home is that

coming to a place, getting a text

from the two of you that say

meet at Fat Harry's and we're

going to house wings. Again, I can't

stress enough. That picture is what the chicken itself.
Is this what you thought it was going to be? It was. It was.
It was. It was just like – for me, I wasn't worried about the chicken.
I was worried about – it's like the Final Four. When the game starts, I'm good.
It's the hype around the game. But wasn't the conversation – like we talked about, could Nick Saban win a national title at Purdue? Yes.
Could LeBron take Dartmouth to a Final Four? Is Gino Auriemma a coward never coaching men's basketball? Yeah, these are normal conversations that we have around Wings. Yeah.
It's good stuff. Yeah.
So I settled in. I really did.
It took me a while, but I settled in. It was weird when you tried to kiss Jake before we started.
I was like, dude, this isn't custom. I was like, what are you doing here? He's like, oh, I thought we all kissed.
I will say my hands are very sticky. Oh, no.
He was looking around. He was trying to get the winged off.
Any wipes? Ideally. I thought they'd have latex gloves for us to wear.
Hank, you got a wipe sponsor? Dude wipes. He's going to go to the fucking emergency car and be like, what's going on with my hands? You're going to want to wash those before you pee.
Also, my mouth got a lot of sauce around the mouth to where when I wiped the sauce, I felt like I was wiping my makeup off as I was wiping the sauce. I was going to say, he's going to get back to that salon in LA.
And they're going to be like, what did you do with your hands? Yes. Where did you go? You're never leaving the stadium.
We don't have wings in L.A. That's what I think a lot of people are killing me for.
They are not wings. No, they don't exist.
All right, so we're here at Final Four. Yeah.
What do we want to talk about? I mean, Duke, Coach K, Stanford Steve. Should we give Hank the floor? Well, the lasting image I had.
had People at this point in the podcast have heard us talk about this seven times In like different like sober Drunk I haven't heard Like reverse forward I haven't heard yet What happened? Let's have Tyson Stanford Steve give us your breakdown What do you think was the most disappointing aspect Of what happened to Duke and Coach K last night? And just to set the stage, I saw Stanford Steve at halftime, and he looked at me, he winked me, and he goes, Duke's got this. Don't listen to a word he's saying right now.
As I walked right up to him, I said, great job by you all week, politicking about Coach K, and look at the whistle Duke got. Oh, a Duke fan complaining about the whistle.
Isn't that beautiful? I mean, come on. There was some crazy calls.

Armando Big Cop fouled out.

You thought it was a fair whistle last night.

Big Cop fouled out.

If it was anything, it was against you.

Big Cop fouled out.

Your man, Coach K, said it was a foul.

Yeah.

When they asked him about it, he goes,

I'm not talking about Coach K right now.

I'm talking about you guys.

It was a foul.

I love that Duke fans are complaining about whistles.

Yeah, yeah. So don't run away from the question, what was the most disappointing part of the night? Duke not winning.
I'm talking about you guys. It was a foul.
I love that Duke fans are complaining about whistles.

So don't run away from the question, what was the most disappointing part of the night? Duke not winning.

Just in general.

It wasn't Coach K's timeout management.

No.

It wasn't how he took the entire scene for himself after the game.

Theo John gets thrown under the bus.

Mark Williams gets thrown under the bus.

Legacy tarnished.

Mark Williams deserves to be underneath that bus. Someone's got to take accountability.
Missed free throws. He shouldn't have been in the game.
Whose fault was that? Yep. Who was actually the ref's fault for not calling more fouls against Duke? That's true.
When did we start with the stools? Why do they have to sit on the stools up there? I think that affects Coach K. It was very weird.
He liked it in 15, though. You were there.
You saw it. Remember? I think that was the first year.
Was that the first year of stools? He looks like a sad little guard. Did you bring that cool sweatshirt to this year to this Final Four? Oh, here we go.
I love this. Let's go.
Listen, I'm a loser. You walk around.

You and Hank walk around as winners.

I'm a New York Mets fan.

No, you walk around as winners.

I'm a born loser.

I know things.

I'm a loser.

You guys are winners.

When you lose, you've got to understand the world is going to shit down your throat.

I expected them to lose.

No, you didn't.

You said at halftime.

You're a liar.

You're a liar.

These cameras weren't there at halftime.

Steve, I have this question for you. In seriousness Does this ruin the Carolina Duke rivalry Because I don't think Duke can ever get this back Duke can never get the power back I think it does It ruins it a little bit It does because North Carolina is now unquestionably The winner of this rivalry against Coach K The only way they can get it back Is if Duke, if they get really, really shitty for five years, if they stop winning altogether, maybe they go to a couple of NITs and actually play in them.
I think that at that point, when Duke makes their comeback, then people will be like, scrappy little Duke. Look at little brother, clawing their way back to the top.
I'll say this. Being guys that have been invested in this rivalry for so many years, and you guys just jumping in the last year or so.
Yeah, I'm 1-0. I'm 1-0 in the tournament with UNC.
Good. Yeah.
Go get your sweatshirt. Probably doesn't even fit anymore.
Get your fucking shine, Bob. No, it's not.
That was a low blow. Seriously, if you've been there, like, it's incredible.
I mean, you guys were in there last night. There's nothing like it.
It was incredible, yeah. I do want to ask this, Steve you do say and you go to pretty much, you know, you've been to every college campus.
You go to all these sporting events. You said the Final Four is your favorite.
Yes. Why? Just because being selfish as a sports fan, I get three games.
Yeah. I have a sneaky, very underrated day of the year.
Today? Today. Wing day? Today.
Yes. I agree with that.
Are we locking this in, by the way? Yes. Oh, yeah.
Standing day. Are we saving this for later? We adjusted the rules for you, but it's usually tomorrow, but we didn't want to interrupt your greatest day of the year.
Right. Okay? So that, I mean, it was a humble part.
Yes, I was. I'm just honored to be part of, like, your actual day of the year is today.
No, I'm just saying it's sneaky. No, you're right.
It's also like half of the town that you're in clears out. Yep.
Because it's the shifting of fans. Because then more fans will be here on Monday.
But it's like you're in a city. You don't think so? No.
You don't think they'll be? No, there are more fans. No, UNC and Kansas fans will show up on Monday.
But I don't think it's going to be as big a crowd as it was yesterday.

No, no, I'm saying, no, but you see what I'm saying.

Like, when you come to the Final Four, Friday, Saturday, it's packed because you've got all four schools.

Sunday is a travel day.

Whoever loses leaves.

Monday, whoever stayed, more fans come in.

Gotcha.

So it's like a nice, like, you know, the lines aren't as long.

So I'm agreeing with you.

Sunday's the best.

Yeah, it's real.

I'll never forget one of the first ones I went to was 99. Duke lost to UConn.
Oh, damn. St.
Petersburg was like – they did play a Final Four in the truck. Tampa, yeah.
They played it in the truck. I was there.
Yes, they were. Scooty Penn lost his jersey.
Yeah. Scooty Penn, all-time name.
Had to wear 35 with no name on the back. That was insane because, like, warm weather, beach, like, people didn't know.
Like, UConn fans had no idea what to do. No idea what to do on Sunday, and it was just a debacle.
Ybor City was out of freaking strong. Oh, yeah.
Cigars. Unbelievable.
Strip clubs. But, like, you just, and now this place, there's nothing like it.
And to have four, are we agreeing, four blue blood? I think Villanova's got like, they're part blue blood. They've got like a few drops of blue blood.
Titus is getting it. I have.
Pass the expert. Let me just say before.
That's a nervous tick. Before he does it, Titus, credit to him, he and Tate have had this debate like four years ago.
Yeah. So he's upset that everyone else is now coming up to him.
I have it locked in. I think there are very clearly 11 1⁄2 blue bloods.
And you start at the top with the Carolinas and the Duke and the Kentucky and the Kansas. I think UCLA gets in.
I think Indiana, if you look up the definition of blue blood. Yep.
Inbred. Agreed.
Yes, Indiana qualifies. I think that counts.
Where'd you grow up? Who cares? Why are people fat? I just want to make sure they know where you're from. I want to make sure they know where you're from.
I'm curious, why is college basketball the only, like, no other sport does anybody talk about, like, blue blood? Like, does college football do this? You didn't finish the list. Does college football do this? Yeah.
Yeah. Who are the college football blue bloods? Alabama.
Yeah. That's it.
There's one. No.
No. It's Alabama.
It's Ohio State. It's USC.
It's Texas. Notre Dame.
I would say Michigan, too. Texas on the edge.
I would say Michigan's in there. Michigan's probably in there.
But if you have more than five on the list, doesn't it feel a little ridiculous? LSU? Derek's like, what the fuck? LSU. I don't know if you can say, like, blue blood LSU.
I love LSU. LSU is too drunk to be a blue blood.
They show up and they just wreck shit every ten years. The problem with blue bloods in college basketball, too, is all the blue bloods are literally blue.
Yeah, that's where it confuses me. And then it warps your brain.
And that's where Indiana gets butted. And that's why I get upset about it, because as a guy who grew up in Indiana, I see through it.
I'm like, you guys all are simple-minded. That's all it is.
You're not actually looking at the numbers. You're looking at literally the colors.
Yeah, correct. And it's stupid.
That's dumb. But that's kind of the beauty of it, too.
That's why Villanova and UConn win a few titles, and everyone says they're blue bloods. Throw them in there.
If Villanova had Oregon State's colors, nobody's making that argument. Would you say that? That's a fact.
That's a fact. All right? That's a fact.
Would you say that Buffalo Wings are blue blood snack? I think they are. Instead of Mount Rushmore, we should just do blue bloods.
But, yeah, no, Villanova. How many, though? How many blue bloods? Don't steal that.
Don't tell SVP that. Villanova is...
He's got sticky fingers when it comes to segments. They are Blue Bloods.
They won one in 85. They have more of a Blue Blood than UConn.
I will give them... Even though UConn has more titles, they have the history.
Here's what I say to anyone who's like, Villanova's not a Blue Blood. It's like, dude, eventually you have to prove it at some point.
Duke wasn't a Blue Blood in, what, 1985? Is Duke a blue blood? Are they now? Good question. It's something that we have.
What else did you guys want to get to? I mean, if you think about it. Hold on.
Hold on. Hold on.
Hold on. I've lost my voice.
Is Duke a blue blood or are they a program that had one good coach? Good question. Ooh.
You're counting John Shiremy? Yeah. Yeah.
I'm talking about Vic Bubas. His name is literally Vic Bubas, who went to the Final Four.
It would be impossible to hate a coach right now named Vic Bubas. Way back in the day, yeah.
It makes you think. I don't know.
Take away the Coach K era. What has Duke done? That's done that's true that's a fact we're gonna get back to the wing date in a second but before we do i want to talk to you about helix mattresses changed my life actually when i started sleeping on a helix mattress i was sleeping on a mattress that was too soft my back was getting all screwed up turns out that soft mattress is not always the best for everybody just like a firm mattress might not be the best for every person's body type and sleeping preferences and helix changed my life i'm pain free i can get around as thanks to my new helix mattress with helix you're getting a mattress that you know is going to be perfect for the way that you sleep helix sleep has a quiz that takes just two minutes to complete and it matches your body type and sleep preferences to the perfect mattress for you.

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If you stopped college basketball in 1990, Indiana's probably one of the best programs. Yes, yes.
NC State. NC State.
Throw them on. And UConn has had several.
Kevin, Ollie, you go down the list. Mic closer to your mouth.
What's up? Keep your mic closer to your mouth. Oh, okay.
It's been a long week. How's everybody's voice feeling? I don't know.
You guys are professional podcasters. I don't know how you do it.
Talking this much. Everything I...
Anybody have remedies? No, there's not. Eventually, on a week like this where you just talk so much, you just kind of lose track and the words just pour out your mouth, and you just check off.
Okay, I've been talking for 30 seconds now, so done with that segment. Yeah, you've got to just basically not talk for two days.
But PFT, he's not wearing his hat now. He's got a pretty cool hat he's been wearing.
But on day one, we got here, and he and Rudy and Hank went, and they got hats, and I was talking to Rudy. I was like, what's up with the hat? He goes, it's a vacation hat.

I was like,

we're not on vacation.

No. He's like,

New Orleans though.

He kept on saying vacation hat.

Yeah,

New Orleans is just a vacation city.

The word vacation

I'm using in a very liberal sense here,

but I don't need you policing

vacation hats on me.

You kind of are.

Your hat looked cool.

I just said it looked cool.

I said your hat looked cool.

You became hatless here?

Because he wore his on the plane, right? Yeah. I brought hats on the plane, but when I go out of town, if I'm in a new city, if I'm on a work trip, which is fun, a lot of times I'll get a fun vacation hat.
Yeah, it's like girls when they do the bachelor party, and they wear the shirts that all say the same thing, and they walk around. With the wine, same thing.
Hakuna Moscato. I saw two of those last night

on Bourbon Street.

Do you think they knew

it was the Final Four weekend?

No.

That's the last party?

No.

I saw a wedding last night.

I saw, like, at the bar

at 1 a.m.,

there was a bride and groom.

They were taking pictures

outside of one of the bars.

I mean, that's like

the NFL draft

in Nashville

a couple years ago.

You remember that

with the bachelor?

Yeah, they got mad.

Yeah, they were so mad.

That was my favorite

meeting of that year.

I mean, that's our guy,

Mincy, who I love.

Salt of the earth.

Thank you. a couple years ago.
You remember that with the Bachelor? Yeah, they got mad. Yeah, they were so mad.
That was my favorite meme of that year. I mean, that's our guy, Mincy, who I love.
Salt of the Earth, King of the South. Hogs for the Cause, great cause.
If you haven't donated, go donate. But Mincy was like, I can't believe Dave and Dan are at Hogs for the Cause.
And it was like, we're here for the Final Four. If the Final Four was anywhere else, we wouldn't be at Hogs for the Cause.
I had a great time. It was a lot of fun.
The final four was the event this weekend. I have a question for Hank.
Have you given any thought to this being a great opportunity for you to just completely shift your college basketball fandom? Have you thought about maybe like – No, because honestly – Maybe just flush it. Maybe just let it go.
That's a good question. And find a new team.
Like maybe this is a bit on the show where you're like, I'm available. I'm a free agent.
Somebody find – No, I think sports goes back to being a kid. When I was a little kid, I was a huge Duke fan.
And honestly, as I got older and I kind of – me and Bicow were laughing about it, seeing the other Duke fans and maybe me not identifying with them on a personal level. Yeah, oh, my God.
But that was like. Oh, my God.
And there were these Duke fans. They were the nerdiest kids ever.
And I was like, Hank, there go your people. And he's like.
Hank, do you own the horns that light up? I don't. Do you know that every time we touch hand motions? Again, I was also saying that's a tough song to be a rallying song.
It was a big song in 2000. Either way, I was a huge fan when I was a kid.
I never went to a real college. That's always going to be the college I root for.
Wait, you did? No matter what. What was it called? Boston University Center for Digital Imaging Arts.
That's real. Later to be unaccredited by Boston University.
Went to a Final Four in 1924. Are they blue blood? Yes, blue blood.
A building wall fan. How many coaches do they have? I agree with Hank.
I don't think that you can change. I think that this is your bed that you made.
I also love how Matt gets me. And now you have to lie.
Oh, yeah. It's fun because people are like, fuck you.
You got to lie to me. I think the only way that you can ever, because we talk about that from time to time, especially with Atlanta Falcons fans where they're just like, I just want to quit my team.
I want to get away from it. I think you should be allowed to quit your team and find a new one if the new place that you select, you have to take all of that city sports teams.
You can't just take that. You have to switch your allegiance to the entire area.
Drew Carey, he changed my thinking on this because I remember him talking about the Browns one time where he said if any other business, if you went to a restaurant and you ordered something and instead of bringing food, they just shit on a plate and handed it to you. It's so true.
Nobody would fault you if you're like, you know what? I used to be loyal to that restaurant. Honestly, for the past seven years I've gone there, all they do is shit on the plate and hand hand it to me and punch me in the nose yeah like i'm gonna go ahead and not go to this restaurant it makes you feel really bad about myself why do you keep going well my dad yeah my dad used to yeah and then his grandfather has all these stories i remember he made that point i was like that that actually checks out that makes a lot of sense but also you can't can't so along those same lines are du now, like, will they have to be a little less douchey knowing that they have that Trump card hanging over their head at all times? Because I've heard a lot about it, like Duke fans being like, we'll never get over this one.
But time heals all wounds. Like, if Duke starts next season.
Are you going to let them hear the end of it? No. Okay, obviously I'm not.
But I'm saying, like, if Duke has the number one recruiting class, if they start next year 15-0, are they just as like... You know what I mean? Has a little bit of their confidence been rattled? Well, I think the position of Duke fans is that you hate them because you're jealous.
We've talked about it. We don't hate them because we're jealous.
A little bit. They're a lot of good college basketball teams.
You could never have gotten in there. Someone said that.
A Duke fan actually said that to me. They're like, you're mad because you couldn't get in there.
I'm like, what? We're doing college insults? I'm 37. I like the people that say, like, you're not a Duke fan because you wouldn't have what it takes to root for my team.
Yeah, yeah. You couldn't handle it.
Your abilities as a fan is just. But I think their point of view is always that everyone else is jealous.

You're just a jealous hater.

So now, I don't know how you can, if you're a Duke fan, you can honestly believe that people are jealous given what you've gone through.

So if people continue to hate Duke, I don't know how you can rationalize in your brain

that this is coming from a point of jealousy.

That's a good point.

You know what I mean?

People will be nice now.

So I don't think they can be douchey. No.
I don't know be douchey. No.
I think it comes from you guys, the Duke haters. Is your hate going to remain the same? Yes.
No chance. I agree.
Mine's not. No chance.
I'm going to be honest. Mine's not.
I hate K. I don't hate.
That's a K card. That's a K card, though.
John Shire card is just national champion. The job's not done.
No, I won't. I think what's going to happen

is the hate is going to get a lot

less until Coach K comes

back halfway through next season.

John Shire starts out 8-11 and

then he comes back to take it. My idea was

K does like Undertaker

does a Wrestlemania where he only

comes back for one match and it's the

North Carolina. Barry Alvarez.

North Carolina at

Cameron Indoor Stadium and he only comes back

every year to coach that game until he wins it.

Thank you. comes back for one match, and it's the North Carolina.
Barry Alvarez. Yeah, Barry Alvarez.
And he's a guy. North Carolina at Cameron Indoor Stadium, and he only comes back every year to coach that game until he wins it.
And then he can walk off. That would be awesome if he just kept losing it, though, over and over.
You're right, though. The hate won't be the same without Kay.
I've said I still will hate Duke. I'm not going to hate John Shire.
I'm going to let it naturally come to me. I'm sure eventually he will.
Anyone in K's coaching tree will eventually piss me off. But like it won't be the same.
It won't. I'll miss him.
He's a great heel. All right.
I'll give you an example. I'm older than you guys.
But the early 90s, Jimmy Johnson, Dallas Cowboys. Whereas if you weren't a fan of that, like you hated that team.
I don't hate them as much as I used to.

Yeah.

No, you feel bad for the Cowboys.

Yeah.

Sort of.

Yeah, no, there's a little bit of like, oh, the Cowboys, that's funny.

It was just like, look how good this team is. You're right.

They had everything.

He beat the system with the draft.

He had all the picks.

Look at all the Hall of Famers from that team.

No, you're right.

I'm trying to compare.

That's the only thing.

Okay, but Duke just sucks.

Yankees, maybe?

Here's the difference, though.

Duke does have the number one recruiting class.

They're going to keep being good.

Thank you. What do you think? Tell us.
I mean, Michigan had the number one recruiting class this year. Yeah, John Howard then smushed a guy.
Joe Krabinoff. I hear you, but I don't know.
I don't think you can say confidently what's going to happen with Duke. That's what's so interesting is that for the first time, we don't know.
I really don't think we know. John Shire is my age.
Have you ever heard him say, I don't know? I've never heard Titus say, I don't know. I would put humbled by the chicken.
Never have I heard that. What would you put your life on the line and you said, hey, Titus, if Duke wins one title in the next 10 years, you've got to kill yourself.
Wait, what's the question? If you win zero, you get to live. If you win zero, you get to live.
I don't take that bet. Okay.
I do not accept those terms. Yeah.
You don't? I disagree with that. I disagree with those terms.
I find the premise fault. It's a pass.
Over half a championship in the next decade for Duke. Life on the line.
I would take the under. That's how you ask the question.
I would take the under. Yeah.
Now my brains are going to go down. I'll bet you.
Our lives. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. We're going to test it out.
We get to kill you. We get to kill the under.
That's how you ask the question. I would take the under.
I'll bet you our lives. Yeah.
We get to kill you. We get to kill the loser.
We get to kill the loser. We get 10 years.
Because the rationale is this. In 2012, if you would have said a decade for Mark Fudo in a title.
I'd say no. Gonzaga plays in a Mickey Mouse conference.
And I would have been right. So you kill yourself.
That's how it works. That would be – I think there are so many guys – like obviously Duke as a program has won a ton of national titles.
John Shire, we don't know. He's not proven.
And for the idea that you can just step in to a machine that's already built and ride it to a national championship. UNC is about to.
I don't know. Yeah, I don't know.
I don't think that's necessarily a given. I kind of hope though that Shire steps into Coach K's shoes and does some of the same stuff that Coach K did.
Like I want Duke to continue to be the villain. I don't want Shire to step in and to be like a likable guy and to make friends with all the reporters and to be doing TikToks and shit.
I don't want Duke to get young. I want Duke to stay old.
He got a fight with Pat Sullivan, John Shire. Oh, yeah? Yeah.
I did see that. That's what you're saying? Yes.
Getting a little fire going. So maybe you're onto something.
I do want that, though. It's important to me to have certain traditions that are kept alive in sports.
I think Duke just being like a prickly. So you need something to keep the hatred.
I need the bad guy. All right.
Oh, yeah. All right.
I want to point at somebody and be like, that's – wait, say it. Who's the bad guy? That's the bad guy.
That's the bad guy. Yeah, you've never seen another bad guy like him.
He's the guy. I think the Duke fans are always going to be nerdy and always – like the camera crazies aren't going away.
They're so funny when you lose. Like there's still going to be – I saw a dude in a full blue and white – it was like a Spartan uniform like like actual Sparta like like whatever 3,000 years ago with like the armor very cool and like a a skirt and he's walking down I also think you should stop wearing the rugby shirts dude what are you doing they should not be allowed to wear rugby shirts it's stolen valor yes they're the least rugby people in the world.
Good tradition. Have you ever rooted for Duke in basketball, men's? I would say the early 2000s, there was a time when I didn't hate Duke.
Like 2001 Final Four, they're coming back against Maryland. The Miracle Minute in Cole Fieldhouse.
Watching that, I wasn't necessarily cheering for Duke. I was like, this is pretty cool that they're coming back from down 10 with a minute in the Final Four.
I like that team. There are Duke teams that I like.
The 2019 team I actually really like. I like the Zion, R.J.
Barrett, Cam Redd. I like those guys.
They seem like likable guys. You called the 2015 title.
The 2015 title. He did.
Yeah. Justice Winslow was, like, one of your favorite players.
Justice Winslow was one of my favorite players. 13 fouls to six in the second half.
I argue for Justice Winslow being number one pick.

Did Sam Decker play that night?

13 fouls to six.

He got concussed in the game before you, motherfucker.

That's very rude.

With two air balls, he got concussed.

So I don't think.

I actually asked him that.

I was like, dude, like, off the record, were you concussed?

He was like, that is the meanest thing you could ever ask someone. Off the record, were you concussed.
He was like, that is the meanest thing you could ever ask. Off the record where you concussed.
So, yeah, I think there's a world where I don't hate Duke moving forward. I just hated Coach K.
Have you ever? No. Never.
No. No.
Because you were saying to me, like, we were too young, you know, 85. You were saying, like, the UNLV game.
91. It greatest upset of all time.
I don't remember that. All-timer.
So I think that, yeah, if I was a little bit older, maybe that changes things because there's definitely something to be said about the tournament. You always find yourself gravitating towards the underdog story, and we just missed the cut to see Duke as an underdog.
You didn't see it I started having memories of March Madness, it was Christian Laettner had already happened or was happening. That's one of my first sports memories.
The painters always bring up the year before. They don't remember 91, but they bring up 90 when they got beat by 30 by UNL.
The biggest deficit in history ever. Mike Dunley is a guy I Yeah? I love Mike Dunley when he was in college.
I love him now. I saw Mike Dunley.
I'm trying to think what Duke player. Who's your favorite Duke player? I'm trying to think.
Chris Dunham. Daniel Ewing.
Wojo. Sean Dockery.
I wish that Wojo was a little bit better. I can't even muster up hate for Wojo because he was just not good enough to hate hate Josh McRoberts but he was fun to watch I didn't hate Trajan Langdon just because it was funny to say that he was from Alaska yeah there it is that's it that's the nice thing I've ever said about two yeah yeah that's the nice thing I can say about two Trajan Langdon was like a nice fun like hey here that guy's from Alaska what a story it what? Okay.
Yeah, they just repeat it all the time on the broadcast. Cherokee Parks.
Yeah, Cherokee Parks. Luol Deng.
Yeah, I mean, I love Luol Deng. We're now doing the great Chicago Bulls.
But Luol Deng made Coach K upset by leaving. Well, that was the first guy that Coach K was like, I will make an exception to my rule because his entire family and all of their friends live in abject poverty halfway around the world.
So I understand that it's important to him to make money while he can. But that's what it took for Coach K to break.
Do you want his family to die? And he made him cry first. He brought Luol Deng's mom into the office and was like, you've disgraced the Duke Blue Devils.
Where does that mean? We're now doing the thing, that tweet that says guys will just sit around and just mention athletes. We're literally doing that.
We're just like naming players from the 90s. Daniel Ewing, remember with the crime dog? Yeah.
Oh, fuck. All right.

All right.

Then we'll wrap it up.

Roback question.

Last question.

Hold on.

I've been...

How dare you interrupt the Roback question?

Is that the Roback question?

Have you ever gotten product for these guys?

I have gotten Roback.

Shout out Roback.

They hooked it up.

I got the Roback guy.

They don't make 4XL.

Remember when you used to say that?

Wow.

That was for the 2015. Okay.
That was for the 2015. We're even.
All right, I'm going to the gym. Oh, my God.
I'll see you guys. Closest gym.
Anyone? New Orleans does have a good way of making you feel like, oh, my God, I need to be on a diet right now. When was the last time you were in a bar fight? I feel like you could still wreck some shit.
Don't make Steve angry. Never.

There's one rule.

Get up against the bar.

Who you got?

Get up against the bar.

Why's that?

Take up from behind.

Bar fight.

I like that.

That's a great rule.

I'm going to remember that.

Steve or the Rusillo bar fight?

Steve would fuck Rusillo.

Oh, Rusillo.

Rusillo, by the way.

I think Rusillo's got popcorn muscles.

I have, dude.

Popcorn muscles.

He does.

You've got man strength.

I have zero strength left. Rusillo's like a supersized boy.
You got man strength I have zero strength Rasil is like a super sized boy You're a man Which is like You're not sitting on his couch again If you need someone If you need someone to show you their squats That's Rasil But if you need someone to beat someone that's you That's a's a great point, Steve. Ryan, I take it all back.
Let's take some time. If I need a hit, man, I'd say Steve is in my top five calls.
Agreed. Agreed.
I appreciate the compliment after Dan's. All right, the rollback question.
We will get 4XL for Steve. The rollback question, R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com.
Three is fine. Use code take.
I'm up to a two and it was a tough transition. I know she had the same shirt on two days in a row.
No, I actually have two of them. Roback.com.
I do. I have two of them.
I have a bunch. I brought a bunch for Titus too and he just didn't take any.
Roback.com. Use code take.
We're not going to talk about that size. You get 20% off hoodies, Q-zips, polos, everything.
Roback.com promo code take. No, I had to do the most embarrassing thing.
Hit up. Take your shirt off in public? No, you know I do that all the time.
Only with paint now, though. In this business you get free shit, right? I'd hit up everyone who gives me free shit being like, hey, it's 2X now, so you just make sure you update the record.
It's like when you lose your debit card and you have to update all your auto-recurring payments. Yes.
Yeah. It hits up all the free shit.
Yes, dude. I was like, put another X on there.
I was like, yeah, you sent me a bunch of sweet gear, but none of it fits. So, yeah, 2X, please.
All right, rowback question. Oh, let's do a quick preview of the game tonight.
Who we got? Pick. UNC's plus four.
Over under one, four, 52 and a half, I want to say. Is it that high again? Yeah.
Why don't you start, Steve? You're the handicapper. Where'd you go this year? You went 90%? Not 90.
A little under. We've had a good tournament, and it's because we've adopted two words.
We had a tough elite eight. Yeah.
It's a long tournament. Hold on.
Let me find the text. This is bad.
Go ahead. This is me and Steve.
Well, I'm implicating myself, too, Steve. I mean, go ahead and send some more people for the 2XL text too.
Oh, man. The 4XL strong accord.
Carolina Moneyline. I just feel like they're not – I don't know.
I still didn't understand why Duke was a four-point favorite. They now – you have the whole idea of is it – did they win their title last night or Saturday night? You know, Kansas, did they use their best game Saturday?

Like, there's just a lot of things.

I just love the ability of Carolina being able to score at every position.

Well, Kansas used their best half in the second half against Miami,

but then they extended that into two more halves.

That extended to a full 40.

So that's three halves of their best three halves of the year.

Can they do it again?

I'm thinking it's Kansas.

It's like don't overthink it.

It's Kansas.

This was UNC's title game.

Yeah.

Here's the text message I was referring to.

Steve and I were texting on Saturday morning, the Elite Eight,

and Steve said, I love all four of these games so much.

It's scary.

Moneyline Parlay.

And I said, give me the picks. He said, Arkansas, Miami.
It's scary. Moneyline Parlay.
And I said, give me the picks.

He said, Arkansas, Miami, UNC, Houston.

Moneyline Parlay.

I said, I love it.

I got my nuts on Houston and Miami.

I don't think we texted him until we got to Louisiana.

Bloodbath.

I love these picks so much. Oh, much.
Yeah, that's gambling, baby. I think you got to ride to UNC.
That's what I'd say. Kansas just played a near perfect game.
For the sake of our dear friend Mark, who went out on a limb today and joined us for his sake and his podcast, I do think Kansas winning helps your numbers. Yeah, what is better content? Kansas winning? Watch Tay cry? Yes, without a doubt.
That's what you want. All right, well, then I'll bring it for Kansas.
The problem is, actually, I think when I turned down weeknight three years ago, I got killed for it. I cried on airplanes.
What were you going to say, PFT? I was going to say that I think that almost you're in a bad position because since Tate already won his national championship game, you're not going to get that same good nervous breakdown if they lose the title game because he's got this. You really wanted him to lose last night.
Yeah, I know. I know.
No, but we need to coach Kagan. This is the one thing that I have the most experience in.
It's true. This is my expertise.
My line of expertise is knowing when to start rooting against your co-host to experience maximum heartbreak for more eyeballs. The most listened to show we've ever done at any iteration.
We've had five different iterations of our show. The most listened to show we ever did was when K lost his last game in Cameron.
And people could not get enough of it. Yeah.
So I night. I don't know what we did last night.
I think, though, here's the other thing. You don't want, like, the reason why PFT and I work so well, for many other reasons, but one of the ones that you can actually say is, like, neither of our teams are really good across the board.
We've had some success. You know, the Cubs won, the Nats won, the Caps won.
But if we were – Just a casual three championship right there. Yeah, six years over all major sports.
All right. Okay, but Hank is the winner.
Hank is the winner. If one of us was just winning all the time, it would be like – The imbalance would be – you know what I mean? Yeah.
So if he wins this... Yeah.

He owns you.

He owns me?

Oh, yeah.

He owns me?

Oh, buddy.

He owns you.

When was the last time you won something?

Dude, is this like a divide and conquer thing?

No, I'm just kidding.

He owns you.

We're trying to break you guys up.

He owns you.

Cubs?

Yeah.

No, I personally carried Ohio State to a Final Four in 2007, so I kind of have that tromp

over him, you know?

Yeah, that's true. I have a literal Final Four ring.
They give you a Final Four ring? Yeah, I do have it. Is it still fit? It's way too big.
I'm not kidding. I was going to say.
Do you ever call him out? Fat Mark was fat. Fat Mark was fat.
Do you ever call him out or you're like, you never even played the game at the high level? I do do that. I tell him that he never played quarterback.
So you can't talk about college. If you don't play quarterback in the NFL you can't talk about anything.
You can't talk about any sports. I want UNC to win actually just because I don't want Duke fans to have that one.
Because the conversation would literally be, oh yeah, we beat you on K's last game. And then what happened next? Yeah kind of with steve and that like carolina money line is the most fun bet you can make and it might be the smartest move because i kansas is better obviously but baylor was better than carolina ucla was better than carolina duke was better than carolina st peters st peters is better than carolina i mean every every every step of the way carolina has I don't know.
They're playing really well. And as you said, Dan, like Kansas, what did they shoot? Like 60%? It was insane.
They made every shot. Yeah, every shot.
I think Leaky Black on Agbaje is a great matchup for Carolina. Yep, Leaky Black was incredible last night.
I think Baycott's better than McCormick. So, like, that's going to be an advantage Carolina.
But I don't know. Kansas is better.

So I don't know.

I said I don't know a lot.

What if Geno was coaching Carolina?

Now we're talking.

And Saban was coaching Kansas.

Great. Okay.

Great.

Great hypothetical.

What if Bob Cousy was playing 40 minutes for Kansas on Monday night?

What would his stat line look like?

Would it be

Club Trillion? Yeah, would it be a Club Snell?

How fucked up is it, by the way,

that the guy that invented basketball

was the only coach at Kansas to have

a losing record? Yeah. He invented an entire

sport and then sucked at coaching it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

If Kansas beats Carolina,

do you think Roy... Are we going to get a camera on Roy, do you think? He's going to have the half jersey.
One camera? We're going to have every view of him. Dude, every camera is on Coach K, dude.
What are you talking about? Coach K is not going to be there. Oh, he'll be there.
They'll find a way to have a camera. Yeah, he'll come back.
His essence will be there. I want to shout at Roy, though.
If Kansas wins, the moment all the confetti pops, I want to see how Roy reacts because I wonder if he's going to clap. Yeah.
Just forget where he is for a minute? Yeah. Yeah.
I don't know. The Roy Williams chip? Yes, the Roy Williams game.
Do you think that there's any merit to the claim that I've been kind of making for the last few years that Roy Williams, at his time at UNC, was a better head coach than Coach K during that same time period? Is there any merit to Roy at UNC be better than K? Roy is the superior coach to Coach K during that time period. Like, all jokes aside, I actually believe that.
If you look at the stats, you can't deny it. So does Steve.
Steve, how many Final Fours? UConn's going to tip off here against South Carolina. The only thing I say to that is, you're basically just cutting out Coach K's greatest years where he was.
I get it. No, I'm just talking about Coach K.
No, we're just talking about that era. Coach K never even won the ACC.
He won it in 2010. He can't even win the league.
I've just been so hyper-aware of making sure all my Coach K slander arguments are like airtight where I don't deviate from anything that's not fact. I mean, I'll give you the stats right now and tell you like 16, final fours, more titles, right? He won three titles versus two.
More titles, yeah. The only thing Coach K has is He kept Roy Williams boxed out of the national team.
Wouldn't let him coach that. Coach for life.
Coach for life. All right.
Raven numbers. Guess.
Zero to 100. Zero.
Six. Derek, what do you got? 18.
25. Three.
Derek took Jake's number. You got to remember your numbers.
34. 12.
26. 5.
12. 12.
Derek took Jake's number. You've got to remember your numbers.

34.

12.

26.

5.

12.

12.

No one's going high.

I'll go 79.

55.

Double nickel.

Damn.

I think KD had a double nickel the other night, didn't he?

Oh, yeah?

That's your boy, right?

They lost.

It was like KD had 55, Kyrie had 31, and they lost.

Love you guys.

Go Duke.

Go Duke. Talking away I don't know what I'm to say I'm to say it's anyway Today's another day To find you shying away I'll be coming for your love.
Okay. Take on.
Me. Needless to say.
I'm on sentence. But I'll be still a little way.
Learn and learn that life is over Thank you. Take on me.
That you say How the things that you say How the things that you say Is it a lot more Just to play memories away You're all the things I've got to remember He's shying away I'll be coming for you anyway Take on me.

I'll be coming for you anyway.