Deion Sanders, Recapping A Great CBB Weekend, Who's Back & We Read A MLB Lockout Article Again

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Speaker 4 On today's part of my take, our good friend Deion Sanders. First time ever in person, in studio, plus a very special appearance from Dana Beers,

Speaker 4 who drank some beers because he's got a problem.

Speaker 5 You might recognize him from his name being on the Jimmy Fallon show.

Speaker 4 My favorite part about Dana Beers is every time that something happens, he's like, is this real life?

Speaker 4 Yeah, it is because it's been real life.

Speaker 4 But yeah, for somebody who's drunk all the time, you you are always questioning your reality is this real life am i alive right now i feel like i'm blacked out um all right we have college basketball unreal weekend uh we're gonna talk a little who's back maybe get into a little uh who's gonna be announcing what game in the nfl next year because everyone's a free agent apparently now and then we will finish up we all read an article about the mlb lockout you probably remember this because we've done it before but it's been locked out for like a hundred days now so we all read a new article So we're going to update everyone after Dion.

Speaker 4 And before we get to all of that, Black Rife, I'm not going back to college to be your friend.

Speaker 6 I'm going so I can get Uber One for students. It saves you on Uber and Uber Eats.
I'm there for $0 delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 10% off smoothies, and 6% Uber credits back on rides.

Speaker 6 Just to be clear, I'm there for savings, not whatever you think college is for.

Speaker 7 Get Uber One for students, a membership to save on Uber and Uber Eats. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student.
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Speaker 7 No place to hang out or washing.

Speaker 7 And I'm not getting the babe all on the sun. Oh no, we gotta ride it down to Elite Track Avenue,

Speaker 7 and then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 7 Oh, we're gonna rock down to Elite Trake Avenue,

Speaker 7 and then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 5 That's part of my take presented by Marshall Sports.

Speaker 5 Welcome to part of my take, presented by Black Rifle Coffee Company.

Speaker 4 Go to blackriflecoffee.com/slash take use code take today and get the freshest coffee in America shipped directly to you. Today is Monday, February 28th,

Speaker 4 and this is only February.

Speaker 5 It's almost March.

Speaker 4 Almost.

Speaker 5 It's not leap year this year. By the way, I'm premature who's back of the week making the leap year jokes like no weed on February 29th, 30th, and 31st.
That is true.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Sign up for that.

Speaker 4 I always wonder, like, we should probably get like a leap year baby on. How much of that suck? Well, we are a leap year baby.
Yeah, we are. We true.
Yeah, we are.

Speaker 4 This is our six-year anniversary is between today,

Speaker 4 at midnight, between between today and Tuesday.

Speaker 4 It's our sixth-year anniversary as a podcast. Is that right? No, fifth.

Speaker 4 One and a quarter.

Speaker 4 We're one and a quarter. 2016, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21.
So starting our sixth year.

Speaker 4 Starting our sixth year.

Speaker 5 The leap year baby is always confused. We're in kindergarten.
Like, do you call yourself one-year-old when you're four? Maybe that's what Hezbollah is. Maybe he's just a leap year baby.

Speaker 5 That's probably right.

Speaker 4 Andy Milnakis. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Actually, Annie Milnakis, I share a birthday with. Most famous guy I share a birthday with.

Speaker 5 January 30th? Yes.

Speaker 4 Wow. Andy Milnakis.
Shout out. The king.
The original king. I think he lives in New York now.
We should get him on the show. What do you think is best? Can we get him on the show? Sure.
I'm sure.

Speaker 4 Should we get him on the show?

Speaker 5 What do you think the best birthday is? Like, with the most famous people? We should probably do some research on that. Have a birthday.

Speaker 4 That one researchers.

Speaker 4 I actually, all right, before we get to the. Mine's pretty good.

Speaker 5 Besides me, obviously, Jackie Robinson.

Speaker 4 Okay. Who's number one?

Speaker 8 You're basing this off of the fact that you know

Speaker 4 your birthday is. We should probably do research on who's Batman, who's Robin, me or Jackie Art.
That was a backwards way of being like, my birthday is stacked. It is Justin Timberlake.

Speaker 5 It's big three.

Speaker 4 Unbelievable Saturday in college basketball. I did tweet, I love this time of year.
People were saying that I say that all the time. So real quick, what is your favorite I love this time of year?

Speaker 4 Because I think you're allowed to say that like seven times a year.

Speaker 5 Okay, so off the top of my head, I love the week of July 4th.

Speaker 4 Yep, love this time.

Speaker 5 Barbecues, sun, day drinking,

Speaker 5 sweating, NBA. Well, it used to be the NBA free agency, right? Yep.

Speaker 4 I love that.

Speaker 5 Big fan of the first two weeks of March Madness.

Speaker 4 First two weeks. All of March.
All of March, I love this time of year. March is a good month.
I love this time of year. I love Thanksgiving week, feast week, college basketball, football, everything.

Speaker 4 I love this time of year. That's a big, I love this time of year.

Speaker 4 All of October.

Speaker 4 I think probably, I think I'm just a happy guy.

Speaker 5 Well, what's the worst time of year?

Speaker 5 I'm going to say last week of August is pretty bad.

Speaker 8 I hate summer.

Speaker 4 No, I don't hate summer. No, you do hate summer.
I don't like August. August is too hot.

Speaker 5 Last week of August is pretty bad because I think we all have PTSD from thinking of that as back to school time.

Speaker 4 Of course. That never leaves your brain.

Speaker 4 But yeah, it was pointed out to me that I say that a lot, and I think it's just I'm a happy guy who loves because I'm now thinking about the first weekend of May, Kentucky Derby, NBA, NHL playoffs.

Speaker 4 I love that time of year. Masters.

Speaker 4 First week in June. St.
Patrick's Day. I love that time of year.

Speaker 5 First week in June can fuck right off.

Speaker 4 First week of June. That's usually actually NBA Finals, but yeah,

Speaker 4 that doesn't really do anything for you.

Speaker 8 Yeah. But the summer's coming up.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 I love this time of year. I have a summer summer.
You have the whole summer ahead of you.

Speaker 5 That's what Memorial Day is for.

Speaker 4 I think the only time you can't say, I love this time of year is right after the Super Bowl until right now. That's it.
That's the only time you can be like.

Speaker 5 That's the time when I wish that they made a hibernation drug. Right.

Speaker 4 But now that Super Bowl happens so much later, you really only have to deal with like two weeks because we had this Saturday, which was incredible.

Speaker 4 This felt like the beginning, the true beginning of March Madness.

Speaker 4 The one, two, three, four, five, six, and nine teams in the country. So seven out of the top 10 teams, really seven out of the top nine because Baylor was the 10th team.

Speaker 4 Lost on Saturday, upset Saturday. Unbelievable.

Speaker 5 I picked a really bad time to unearth the Tom Izzo is overrated thing.

Speaker 4 Yeah, but that was such a classic Tomizzo spot, too, where like Michigan State has no identity and they've just been sucking terribly.

Speaker 4 And then they're going to win that game, especially with the three-pointer that the guy hit. Who hit that? Jake, we're going to lean on you here.
That was an awesome game. Just start the day.

Speaker 4 And then it was one of those days, very similar to like a college football Saturday where you kind of lose perspective. I was sitting there watching Gonzaga play in a high school gym at St.

Speaker 4 Mary's, which I love. I love the WCC and how all the gyms are like super, super small.
And I was like, oh, yeah, remember, remember Michigan State beat Purdue like 14 hours ago?

Speaker 4 This has been a fun day.

Speaker 5 Yeah, no, that gym is...

Speaker 4 Tyson Walker. Tyson Walker.

Speaker 5 Okay, that gym, I love the WCC. I love St.
Mary's.

Speaker 5 They always managed to have like three Australians, two Kiwis, three guys from the Baltic states on their team.

Speaker 4 Remember a couple years ago when I smoked a little too much weed and maybe took a little too much Adderall, I thought I had unearthed a point-shaving conspiracy with St. Mary's.

Speaker 5 Yeah, it's like turns out that's just how they shoot in Lithuania.

Speaker 4 It wasn't true at all, but it was fun. For that moment, I was very excited.

Speaker 5 They went, what, 16-0 in their home gym this year?

Speaker 4 Who, St. Mary's? St.
Mary's. Yeah, and that was Gonzaga's first WCC loss.

Speaker 4 St.

Speaker 4 Mary's is such a funny group of guys because they have their entire team is they look like a rock band down to like having their power forwards and centers look like the roadies, like the guys who are carrying the amps and stuff.

Speaker 4 And they just they have some like gnarly looking dudes. They had one dude who was just fully bald.
And like, I don't even think he was shaving his head.

Speaker 4 He was just like, no, I'm 22 years old and bald.

Speaker 5 No, they kind of like strike a balance of like, if BYU did hard drugs, that's what you did with St.

Speaker 4 Mary's. Right, right.
It's awesome to watch. And they beat Gonzaga, who now we can say is soft.

Speaker 4 I don't like Drew Timmy. Do you like Drew Timmy, Jake Marsh? I didn't like him last year when he got...

Speaker 4 Can I...

Speaker 4 I have a critique of Drew Timmy. Go ahead.
I think his shoulders are too small.

Speaker 5 They sink down a little bit.

Speaker 4 They're too small. He doesn't have...
Sink down a little bit.

Speaker 4 He doesn't have man shoulder. He's got like...

Speaker 4 You can't play in the low post without man shoulder.

Speaker 5 He's got like Reggie Miller shoulders.

Speaker 4 Yeah, they're too slender. He's got a two.
Yeah, he's got like a two-guard shoulders, not a center or power forward shoulders. My critique of him.
No, I'm a big fan.

Speaker 5 I think he's okay. My critique would be that his mustache is a little bit too ironic.

Speaker 4 Handlebar stuff. Yeah, too ironic.

Speaker 5 I don't have a problem with guys growing mustache if they're mustache guys. Like Big Cat is a mustache guy.
Adam Morrison, who are you talking about there, Hank?

Speaker 4 The H-Man? Yes. Yeah.
But yeah, that was ironic. He was a little, he was a hipster.
Yeah. No,

Speaker 4 remember, remember last year when he did the mustache thing? Yeah, down 15 again. Down 15 against Paylor.
That was when I was like,

Speaker 4 I'm off this guy.

Speaker 5 The sad mustache thing was like that sorority girl doing the sad dance.

Speaker 4 Yeah. It's like, come on,

Speaker 4 get off yours.

Speaker 4 Yeah. But that game was awesome.

Speaker 4 Who's number two? Oh,

Speaker 4 shout out our guys, Roan and Caleb. Unbelievable day they had.
If you haven't seen it, I'm sure the whole video is going to come out. They started the day in Fayetteville, where the Must Bus

Speaker 4 beat Kentucky.

Speaker 4 Didn't storm the court because SEC, which it's very, very funny that the SEC of all conferences, we're like, it means more, and that's literally their saying it means more, and people are crazy.

Speaker 4 They have the strictest fine schedule for any team that, or any fan base that storms the court or field. So Arkansas had, they stormed the field against Texas.

Speaker 4 in football, then they stormed the court against Auburn in basketball. I think the fine yesterday, if they had stormed, was was going to be $250,000, which is crazy.

Speaker 4 So they were very adamantly like, no storming the court. They didn't let Caleb and Roan in the game.
They barred him from the game.

Speaker 5 Now, to be fair, they were also wearing like storm chasing uniforms and games.

Speaker 4 They were there for a storm.

Speaker 5 If they had gotten in, there would have been a storm.

Speaker 4 They would have started a storm. But they let someone in who mooned a free throw shooter.

Speaker 5 That's fine. That's Arkansas.

Speaker 4 It plays. That's okay.
Then why not let Caleb and Rohan in the game?

Speaker 5 I don't think the guy walked in with his ass out. Yeah.

Speaker 4 He's like, hey, I'm the guy here to moon him. Maybe if they weren't wearing yellow, they would have been in.
Yeah, but no, probably.

Speaker 4 Stand out over there.

Speaker 4 Yeah, they were ready for it. No, I was saying if they weren't

Speaker 4 the chores. And they were wearing Arkansas gear and just weren't.
Either way.

Speaker 4 I get a FaceTime at like, I don't know,

Speaker 4 it was probably like 3 o'clock from them.

Speaker 4 They had their full gear. They were just standing on the side of the road.
And they're like, hey, do you think Colorado has any shot of beating Arizona? I was like, you guys are going to Colorado?

Speaker 4 Like, we're thinking about it. All I said to him was, like, it is a back-to-back in the mountain trip, which usually isn't great for the opposing team.
And they're like, we're going.

Speaker 4 They flew to Denver, drove to Boulder, got there for the second half. Colorado had an incredible second half, beats number two Arizona, stormed the court.

Speaker 4 Like, maybe the greatest day ever that Caleb and Roan could ever have. Like, they deserve all the credit in the world.
Chef Donnie, Tom, Trey, just shouting them all out. What happened? happened?

Speaker 4 Unbelievable.

Speaker 5 What happened at the end of the Kentucky-Arkansas game where Kentucky's players left the court before the game?

Speaker 4 That was because of the storm.

Speaker 4 They were reverse storm.

Speaker 5 They were reverse storm.

Speaker 4 Yeah, no, they were basically putting like

Speaker 4 they were putting duct tape on their windows. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 They're boarding it up. Whenever there's a storm, usually the students don't go like tackle the opposing player.

Speaker 5 I actually don't think it's ever happened.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I can't wait. No, I would do it, but I feel like I haven't heard any stories of it.

Speaker 4 Now, someone in this podcast room is going to say that I have a bias, but I faintly remember Coach K complaining that he thought that he was like under attack once and thought that his team was going to get injured.

Speaker 4 He was

Speaker 4 fine, Wolf.

Speaker 5 That definitely happened, but I don't think that a player has ever been accosted by anybody.

Speaker 4 Yeah, not. Because we would hear about that.

Speaker 5 They would probably just take away the student section for the rest of the year if that ever happened.

Speaker 4 Courtstorming Coach K. No, there was a...
Well, remember LeGarrett Blunt? He hit someone. That was an opposing player.
He was an opposing player, but was that...

Speaker 4 There was one punch.

Speaker 5 No, you're thinking of Jermaine O'Neill.

Speaker 4 No, I know that. It's an old video.
There was something, something did happen on a court storm. No, it was a player ran over.

Speaker 8 It was the Kansas.

Speaker 4 And there was a football player who ran over some kid once and was like, oh, it was an accident.

Speaker 4 Yeah, here it is. I just searched it.
2013, Coach K complains about Virginia Court Storm. So that was probably why it all started.

Speaker 4 He was like, I thought I was going to lose my life for a second.

Speaker 5 And so Cal, he got all his players off and then left his players out there on the court to hit a three, a a bank shot three at the buzzer to cover the spread.

Speaker 4 Which, yeah, I pushed on that and I it's a new. I think most gamblers will understand what I'm about to say, but I was watching the game.
It was nap time in my house. I watched the end of the game.

Speaker 4 Nap time ended. My whole family came back in the living room and I rewound the TV and I made them all watch it.
And they were like, we don't care. And I was like, did you see this? You see this?

Speaker 4 This fucking three? I mean, they're like, this is like, please just put on fucking Moana right now.

Speaker 5 This is stupid. It was a freight train that was coming about five miles per hour.

Speaker 5 Everybody saw it coming. But it just adds insult to injury when Cal takes the rest of his team off.
Right. And then he's giving up the game.

Speaker 4 I knew too. You guys have been around me enough to know I know when I'm dead before I'm dead.
It was a math game. Arkansas was up two to four points for the last like three minutes.

Speaker 4 And I was like, at some point, a free throw is going to get missed. And there will be an inconsequential three that has all the consequences.
Just a couple quotes here.

Speaker 4 Do you know how close you are to just put yourself in the position of one of our players or coaches? And I'm not saying any fan did this, but the potential is there all the time.

Speaker 4 But they can just go up to you and say, Coach, you're a blank or push you or hit you or whatever. What do you do? What if you did something in retaliation? That would be the story, right?

Speaker 4 We deserve that type of protection. This is Coach K after Virginia stormed the court.

Speaker 4 He's basically saying, it didn't happen, but I'm so mad that I lost, I'm going to complain about the court being stormed instead of the fact that I lost. But it could have happened.

Speaker 4 It could have happened. It could have happened.
I could have died.

Speaker 5 Do we ever address what happened with Coach K

Speaker 5 when he just left at halftime on the eve of those stories coming out?

Speaker 4 I think his grandson needed a ride.

Speaker 4 That might have been it. Hank, did you see that in the news?

Speaker 8 Oh, I saw it.

Speaker 8 I remember what you guys said.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 5 It was just kind of crazy that they were probably going to ask him about what happened with him just taking the Duke coaching job away from a black coach.

Speaker 4 Hank?

Speaker 4 That's why he left at halftime? I thought he was.

Speaker 5 No, it was interesting. It was just interesting.

Speaker 4 This is the last quote from Coach K.

Speaker 4 I don't think he knows what college kids do. He said, they should have fun and burn benches and do all that stuff.
I'm all for that.

Speaker 4 They are great school, great kids, but get us off the court and that's the bottom line because Coach K said so. That's fair.

Speaker 9 Ah, Billy. It was a Nebraska football player that punched the Missouri fan.
Yes,

Speaker 4 I remember it very vividly.

Speaker 9 It was a really bad sucker punch.

Speaker 4 Yes. And Will College.

Speaker 4 yes and he was saying he basically was like i felt nervous for my life yeah it sounds like will compton tell and huston yeah that's a whole that's will compton

Speaker 4 he uses that name whenever he checks in a hotel

Speaker 4 um

Speaker 4 so there we so we had arizona lose we had who's number three purdue no auburn auburn tennis which that one there's you know as crazy as yesterday was arkansas was a favorite Tennessee was a favorite.

Speaker 4 So there was obviously some games that I think people, I mean, Baylor was a favorite. So there was a few games that it wasn't quote-unquote an upset.

Speaker 4 It just felt like bedlam because seven out of the top 10 teams lost.

Speaker 5 One thing I will always respect about Bruce Pearl is how the man manages to get more tan over the wintertime. Yeah.
It's insane. It's like he plays in Maui every weekend.

Speaker 4 It's Mike Shanahan, yeah.

Speaker 5 He just glows.

Speaker 5 And I think it used to pop a little bit more when he was coaching at Tennessee because the orange of the Tennessee orange would be so strikingly similar in contrast to his skin where he would just, he would just turn into a big, like a big giant sun out there the one i i'll say i'm gonna i'm gonna stop you on the glows i think it's a glisten because he always has a sweat too yeah it is a glisten it's not it's not like the heavy sweat like you see from the sean millers of the game right but he's always wet he's like he he looks like he walked through the misters at like a really hot like nfl stadium or the broncos uh covid protocols yeah just walk through the the portable car wash yeah exactly the like oh shit this will help me i'll just get spritzed in the face for a second and then i won't be dehydrated but i contrary to what I was saying on last week's show, I do like Auburn.

Speaker 4 I think that they're crazy. Auburn fans are crazy.

Speaker 5 Yeah, they're crazy, but I love their particular brand of crazy.

Speaker 5 I'm mostly saying they're the team. You know, you always have a team like, I don't know if I trust them.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 5 That Auburn's my, I don't, I'm not so sure if I trust them yet.

Speaker 4 The craziest thing about yesterday was I walked away and being like, Kentucky is still, like, they lost, and I was like, they're still, like,

Speaker 4 they lost. They had two of their best players come back from injury, Rusty, and they still were in that game.
Like, they fought back.

Speaker 4 They keep getting slow starts.

Speaker 4 As much as you can be impressed with the loss, like a road loss like that is nothing to be ashamed of in conference play.

Speaker 4 Just like Kansas losing to Baylor, like when you lose these tough games, especially at the end of the season on the road, you can't be like, oh, man, they suck now. No, it's just really hard to win.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I only think that a team sucks if they're in the top 10 going into senior night and they lose their senior night game.

Speaker 4 Well, yeah, like you can't lose senior night. Like Gonzaga losing,

Speaker 4 it's all perspective, but Gonzaga was a 10.5-point favorite. Arizona is a 10.5-point favorite.
Like, those are losses that shouldn't have happened.

Speaker 4 The other ones were really good teams they were playing. Arkansas is a really good team.
Tennessee, Baylor, like these, these teams are really, really, really good.

Speaker 5 You know what I like? The new, the new fashion trend I've picked up on, is the net hats.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 5 The students wearing the hats, they're just the nets that get cut down.

Speaker 4 And the sharks in Arkansas's student section were awesome. Yeah, yeah.
They looked dehydrated.

Speaker 5 They did. But yeah, I need to get my hands on a net hat.
I'm a big fan of novelty hat.

Speaker 4 What else from, so we were talking before the show because PFT asked Jake,

Speaker 5 what was your question about Providence?

Speaker 5 Do you think the Providence, they're already in the They Will Make Some Noise department. I've got that file set aside for them.
But would you say, is Providence a real threat?

Speaker 4 Conternity Cool. Well, first off, shout out to Coach Cooley.
Providence won the Big East for the first time ever. Yeah.
On Saturday. Crazy.
Which is crazy to think.

Speaker 4 And they won it with two games left.

Speaker 5 Yeah. Their mascot still freaks me out.
He's the biggest creep in the world.

Speaker 4 Yeah. No, mine is the St.
Louis Billiken. That's a pretty creepy one.
Yeah, it looks like the Wuhan bat. Did you, yeah? He's that one's creepy.

Speaker 4 Did you see Xavier's got like an alternate mascot that basically is just a blue blob? It's very weird. Interesting.
Yeah, Western Kentucky is in that kind of thing.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's basically what they were like, ooh, Western Kentucky's cool. Let's just make a blue version of that.
Yeah. No, Providence, look, 24-3.

Speaker 4 Yes, they've won some tight games, but overall, 24-3 is 24-3. So I think they can make the final four.

Speaker 4 Why not?

Speaker 4 Like, the thing that drives me nuts, and I love, obviously, Ken Palm is great because he, like, you can basically look in the history of college basketball, like, what teams will eventually be national champions?

Speaker 4 What teams will be Final Fours? Those advanced stats. Everyone's got advanced stats now.
I love using them.

Speaker 4 I do think that there's something that, like, the pendulum has swung too far on advanced stats, not by the guys who make the advanced stats.

Speaker 4 It's by casual fans who then discredit good teams because their advanced stats suck. Providence is number one team in luck, right?

Speaker 4 That's what Ken Palm says. Wisconsin's actually very similar where it's like Wisconsin wins a lot of close games, hasn't blown a lot of teams out.
Everyone's saying, oh, wait till March. They suck.

Speaker 4 I think if you're a Providence fan, you have to just tune all of those fucking

Speaker 4 at this point. Yeah, Yeah, because it's like, enjoy the ride.
College basketball is so much fun. The big games are so much fun.
Like, storming the court after you win the Big E's for the first time.

Speaker 4 Do you think any of those fans care about fucking luck? Like, that's so stupid. So what happens if Providence loses in the second round and everyone's like, oh, they sucked all along?

Speaker 4 Don't let them take it away from you. That was a really fun season.
The tournament is really, really hard. Anything could happen.

Speaker 4 I said to you, Jake, like Illinois last year. Illinois was really good last year.
Yeah, they could have won it all. They could have have won it all.

Speaker 4 They had a bad game against Loyal Chicago, who played their best game of the season. That doesn't mean they sucked all year.
It just means, oh, single elimination tournament is really hard to win.

Speaker 4 So I think Providence fans, embrace it. Don't let anyone fucking raid on your parade.
Big East champions.

Speaker 4 So what if some of these games are lucky? Like Jake said, 21 and 3 is 21 and 3. 24 and 3.
44 and 3.

Speaker 5 But also, the way that your team plays in close games. Absolutely.
You can't really write stats around.

Speaker 5 You can't can't sequence the clutch gene. You can't actually put numbers around everything that matters at the end of the game, like all the small stuff.

Speaker 5 So yeah, that's just, it might not be quantifiable. You might not be able to read it in a stat online, but it's still a thing that your team is good at.

Speaker 5 You can still say like, we're a very good second half team. We're very good down the stretch.

Speaker 4 Having seniors, having like senior leadership,

Speaker 4 being able to say to yourself, like, we're not going to let this moment be too big. Absolutely.
That all matters.

Speaker 4 And also hitting your free throws yep like at the end of a wisconsin game if brad davidson's going to the line he's going to make them you know what i mean

Speaker 5 like those are the type of things that if you have those type of guys on your roster that's not luck anymore that's just having good good players who make free throws in clutch situations back in high school when i was doing brackets i would uh i would always bet on the teams that had the higher free throw percentage yeah team-wise yeah in the first two rounds and it's usually a pretty good bet to make because so many of it so much of it does come down to the end of the game where yeah, if you have like a freshman that's attempting free throws, the moment's a little bit too big.

Speaker 4 A lot of it is, yeah, free throws and having a guy who can bring the ball up. Like a senior guard who's not going to get rattled.

Speaker 4 Yeah, right. Who's not going to get rattled in big moments?

Speaker 5 Those two things matter. I've got a dumb idea that could revolutionize the NBA.
Why don't they just go full court press?

Speaker 4 Because they get tired.

Speaker 5 Yeah, but the other guys get tired, too.

Speaker 4 Yeah, but I think the defense gets really tired.

Speaker 5 Because then you've got to also play offense with those same defense.

Speaker 4 I mean, 40 minutes from hell, Nolan Richardson. Yeah, those are electric.

Speaker 5 Yeah. Always love that.

Speaker 4 I love whenever a team whips out a press and it just demolishes the other team. It's just hard to do for a sustained amount of time.

Speaker 5 I'll bet you there's going to be an NBA coach in the next five years, someone who has absolutely no business coaching at an NBA level, probably on the Knicks, that's just going to be like, here's what we're going to do.

Speaker 4 We're going to press. Press.

Speaker 5 We're going to play hard defense. And then he's going to absolutely.

Speaker 5 Barrel out that first year probably not make it through the end of the season.

Speaker 4 The best is though when you try to press a team and everyone on the on the other team can can handle the ball yeah it's like you try to press them and then oh look here's the center being able to dribble the ball that's also probably why because everyone in the NBA can handle the ball so it's not like essentially when you press in college you're like at least two or three of these guys doesn't feel comfortable dribbling like for more than three seconds.

Speaker 4 So we can do this.

Speaker 5 There's a guy that's like that's seeing the water boy where the kicker looks. He's like, yeah, that's my bitch right there.
There's one guy that you try to funnel the ball to.

Speaker 4 Yeah, and there's one guy who's always on a college roster who catches the ball and immediately panics it's like okay well you're fucked i just uh i i looked up ken pom because i didn't know where he came from like what his background was he's actually a storm chaser himself yeah he has a master's degree in atmospheric sciences from like utah or something university of uh he's an instructor there at utah he got his from the university of wyoming i knew he was out west somewhere yeah so but he's become yeah i mean ken pom is not a secret anymore it was you know, maybe five, ten years ago, but everyone uses it.

Speaker 4 It's, I think Vegas uses it. Players and the coaches use it.
Player scouts. Yeah, players and the coaches use it.
So I obviously he himself is a genius, and what he does is great.

Speaker 4 I just don't like when casual fans try to discredit some of these teams who are having great seasons. It's like, fuck it, dude.
It's hard to win games. 24 and 3, Providence.

Speaker 4 Like, I don't care if they're lucky. So we're ride the waves.

Speaker 4 Right now, they're pretty far down there, aren't they? Well, in terms of Ken Palm. Right now, the 39.
Yeah. So

Speaker 4 it's a 10 to 15 team right now. I remember

Speaker 4 SVP, like a few years ago, he would fight every single day online because Maryland was like very good and Ken Palm had him like outside the top 20. And he's like, I don't care.
Like, they're good.

Speaker 5 Don't apologize for winning.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's like Wisconsin this year, they're good. I don't care.
Like, they're not great. They're not the best team.
I never said they were. But

Speaker 4 you can't get this point in the season and be one in your conference and be like, oh, no, they stink. That's just not, that's not how it works.
I completely agree. I was wrong in the preseason.

Speaker 4 No, I'm not. This is not you.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
This is more for Providence people. Providence people get it all the time.

Speaker 4 Like, everyone is going against Providence, being like, the luck has to run out. And it hasn't.
And maybe it never will.

Speaker 4 But also, playing in these tight games is great experience for when it matters most. Great experience.
In March, they could win four two-point games. They're battle-tested.
And go to the final four.

Speaker 4 Like, who knows?

Speaker 4 I love this time of year. Best time of year.
Best time of year. This is truly the only time I say it.
Best time of year? Well, you're a man of integrity.

Speaker 5 When does that start? When is your best time of year start?

Speaker 4 I'd say the day after the Super Bowl through the Final Four.

Speaker 5 So you're not even including the Super Bowl in your best time of year.

Speaker 4 When college basketball, college basketball is my favorite sport. When it has all the spotlight, it hits different.

Speaker 8 I'd agree with that. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it does.

Speaker 4 Saturday was awesome. Yeah.
It just, it was was wall-to-wall, the best, just watching every single game.

Speaker 4 It was literally like every single two hours, like, oh, here's another huge game that's going to happen. Here's another big game where there's going to be an upset.
And now we have brackets.

Speaker 4 And now we're going to be doing that. We're going to major tournaments starting.
We have brackets. Like, it's great to just see, like, ooh, this team has this path to go dancing.
I love brackets.

Speaker 4 I love staring at brackets. Quickly, give us,

Speaker 4 before we move on to some other talk, give us your four-one seeds and four-two seeds. On the latest Jake Marshall.
Yes, I just updated. You just updated it.
Yes. Wow.
Okay.

Speaker 4 So

Speaker 4 number one overall. So

Speaker 4 there's actually not a lot of change despite all the chaos this week because everybody move on. Yeah, it kind of cancels out.

Speaker 4 Duke did beat Syracuse. That was embarrassing.
Syracuse is circling the drain

Speaker 4 at this point.

Speaker 4 It's supposed to be a wild season. It is not.

Speaker 5 Coach K called in to Jim Beheim's radio show.

Speaker 4 That's Mike from Durham. Mike from Durham.

Speaker 5 It was a little fun treat that he did.

Speaker 4 That's really fun.

Speaker 5 Beheim is Coach K's only friend, I think.

Speaker 4 Yeah, oh, yeah. And they don't even like each other.
Well, and his sons. Well, like, Coach 33, Coach and USA

Speaker 4 together. Yeah.
Melo was on the team. It's pretty wild.

Speaker 4 The one seeds right now, I have Gonzaga, Arizona, Kansas, Auburn. Auburn was a lock a couple of weeks ago.
Oh, yeah. That could be Kentucky or Dukes one.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 So I'd say right now, Gonzaga, Arizona are definitely getting it. Kansas, Auburn, maybe.

Speaker 4 And then twos are Baylor, Kentucky, Duke, Purdue.

Speaker 4 Wisconsin,

Speaker 4 Villanova, Texas Tech, Providence, the threes. Interesting.
Now, how locked in? I think if Wisconsin beats Purdue, they flip-flop. And that would be a good game on Tuesday night.

Speaker 4 We're very excited for it.

Speaker 5 How locked in do you get on your seeds and how much can change in a conference tournament?

Speaker 4 Oh, I mean, well, first off, this is my first year doing it, but a lot will change.

Speaker 5 I want to know your

Speaker 4 formula. Yeah, what's behind it?

Speaker 5 Open the kimono for me. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Who you got your

Speaker 4 play-in games? Right now, it's actually. This is like of the play-in games, doing the play-in games, bracketology.
Oh, yeah, this is a few weeks before is.

Speaker 4 No, I do what I'm doing. I'll film.
Yeah, it's equivalent to the mock draft with six trades in the first round.

Speaker 5 I met this one dude in Austin a few years ago. I forget the guy's name, but he does, he is a bracketologist and he is obsessed with the NIT.
He does love it.

Speaker 5 He doesn't give a shit about the NCAA tournament, but he gets fucking laser-focused on the NIT, breaks down all the matchups, has his bracket ready to go before they announce it.

Speaker 4 Dude, I love all of them. I love the CBI, the CIT.
Are they playing those this year? Yeah, the CBI is in Daytona Beach. And the CIT? I don't know about this.

Speaker 4 Is the CIT the one where the championship fights played? It's like a two-game series at someone's home.

Speaker 4 I love those tournaments. I've told this story before, but in a former life, before everything, before Barstool, I was taking a G-MAC class because I thought I wanted to go to business school.

Speaker 4 And I was betting CBI and CIT games in a business class I had paid a lot of money for or G-MAC class. And I was like, this is the wrong thing.
Yeah, right now, actually,

Speaker 4 Oregon State was playing out. One of the first four games, I have a Blue Blood Showdown, Indiana, North Carolina.
Whoa.

Speaker 4 That would be fun. That would be sick.
Very fun. Do you agree? Wisconsin right now with three? Yeah, no, I think it's true with two.
Yeah. Yeah, I mean, their win against Rutgers was very big.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah. So tune in, by the way, Benchmom, Benchmom, Brad Davidson, on today's show.
There we go. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Love this time of year. We've got some more stuff coming up.
We're going to have Titus on, and we're going to have J.J. Reddick on coming soon.

Speaker 4 So we're going to have a lot of good basketball content this next month.

Speaker 5 I've really loved John Rothstein, by the way, tweeting during the war in Ukraine. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 5 Like when everything's going to shit on that first night, and he was like, wow, just saw a schedule release pop out for like Providence at Corpus Christi 2024.

Speaker 5 Very excited for this. This is only February.

Speaker 4 By the way, the war in Ukraine, can I just ask one question?

Speaker 4 Friday night, Billy, how close were you to getting a flight to Ukraine? Because you had a tweet, you deleted it. What was the tweet? So the tweet was.
It was funny. I have it.
You do? Who's back?

Speaker 9 Me and the buddies, like, you know. Wait, read it.

Speaker 4 I'll read it, then you can explain.

Speaker 8 It's from Billy Football. The boys and I are about seven beers deep, which I, when I read that, I like, I'm so used to reading PFT's notations afterwards.
So, what would you translate that to, PFT?

Speaker 4 Me and the boys are about

Speaker 5 seven beers deep. I'd say probably a dozen.
I would say 12.

Speaker 4 Yeah, no,

Speaker 5 you have to do doctor math, which I hope that they teach every doctor in America to do that when they ask you how much you drink, and you say, I have like three beers on a Friday.

Speaker 4 You have to at least triple that.

Speaker 8 The boys and I are about seven beers deep, and considering the free plane ticket from the Ukraine embassy to go defend freedom, we'll wake up and totally not do it, but we getting hype RN.

Speaker 4 We're getting hype. You did get hype about it.

Speaker 4 If they had, if at that moment, if you hadn't deleted that tweet, let's just play out a little scenario here. If you hadn't deleted that tweet, which you shouldn't have because it was very funny,

Speaker 4 and they and the Ukraine embassy saw the tweet and was like, we will be there in 30 minutes.

Speaker 4 We got a fucking private plane and some AK-47s and rocket launchers. Do you think you would have gone?

Speaker 9 You know, those like memes where the guys

Speaker 9 went out with the buddies and ended up in a different country?

Speaker 4 You mean the hangover of the movie?

Speaker 4 No, but I don't know. I don't think I saw it.

Speaker 4 We did do the footwork where we like googled how you would do it.

Speaker 5 That's some serious footwork. Yeah.
Yeah. It sounds like you were basically in Ukraine.

Speaker 9 Basically, and the pay is insane.

Speaker 4 What is it?

Speaker 9 I think it's like $3K either a week.

Speaker 5 You'd be in Mercer. Billy Mercks.

Speaker 9 Yeah. But what happened is, so you go to the embassy, they get you a ticket, they fly you to Budapest, then they take you in a convoy over the border, and then you get to the outskirts.

Speaker 9 What's crazy about that is getting in is easy, but like, I think the problem is getting out once you're there.

Speaker 4 Okay, Billy, so once the war ends. Yeah, once, yeah, once you're once you kill Putin, they'll let you out.
Yeah, final boss.

Speaker 9 But, you know, it's not, I delete because it's like, I'm sorry, it's not.

Speaker 9 We shouldn't really be

Speaker 4 joking about it. But I'm not joking about it.

Speaker 4 Whatever the pay is, I will triple it for you to go there i'll match if donnie so that's six times if donnie wants to go to ukraine because i i want to go with someone else need a little you know funny system the boys the boys yeah well seven beers deep they they got jobs well no answer me that who was you two one of the boys was

Speaker 4 which of the boys

Speaker 4 was the one that was really instigating that was like leading the charge on google no we we were just you know we i hadn't seen him in a long time you're doing cyber warfare teammates that's usually what happens when I don't see my friends for a long time.

Speaker 4 Well, we were fucking fighting a war. We were talking, you know, current events.
You know, we were talking current events, and we were like,

Speaker 4 I do love how it seems that

Speaker 4 it's like, how's your kids? Hey, how's your kids? Seen any good wars recently we can hop into?

Speaker 5 I love how Ukraine just, it appears that they have pound for pound, the most badass civilians of anywhere in the world. And when you look at, they've got like the Klitschko brothers.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's my who's back. Yeah, the Chenko.

Speaker 5 They've got Lomachenko. Yeah, it's like

Speaker 5 what's that, what's that town in Iowa? I think think it's Iowa City.

Speaker 5 It's like if you get into a bar fight in Iowa City, chances are you're going to end up either against a collegiate wrestler or a professional MMA fighter.

Speaker 5 It's like Ukraine is an entire country just built out of Iowa cities.

Speaker 4 It's not a joke, but it would have been cool if you went. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Well, the sports world has been condemning

Speaker 5 Putin, and they're not pulling any punches. I saw that the World Cup.

Speaker 4 Impasse? The World Cup said that...

Speaker 5 No, Impasse.

Speaker 5 Listen, trigger alert for all you impasse out there that understand emotions and feel bad for other people. You might not want to listen to this part of the podcast because it's about a war.

Speaker 5 There's the World Cup is like not allowing Russia to compete using their flag.

Speaker 4 Whoa. They're saying

Speaker 5 you take this one step further, Russia, and you're out of the tournament.

Speaker 5 But as of right now, they're allowed to compete, I think, under the Russian Federation acronym.

Speaker 5 And then the Judo, the International Judo Federation, Federation, stripped Russian President Vladimir Putin of his most senior official position in world sports, citing the ongoing war conflict in Ukraine.

Speaker 4 This is very similar to DMing Caleb Williams and being like, I know it's probably not going to do anything, but if there's like a 0.001%, like,

Speaker 4 what if Putin was like, they took away my judo black belt? I'm out.

Speaker 5 Well, he was the president of the international.

Speaker 4 You knew everything. You know what? I'm banning Vladimir Putin from part of my take.
Yep, sanctioned. And any oligarchs.

Speaker 5 Unless he wants to come on in person, so that way we can kill him.

Speaker 4 Yeah, Billy will.

Speaker 5 Billy will kill him. Yeah.
Okay, so you are invited onto the show, but you have to sit in between Billy and Jake.

Speaker 4 And it's not a trap.

Speaker 5 Not a trap at all. It's not a trap.

Speaker 4 But yeah, we are sanctioning all oligarchs, Russian oligarchs, and Vladimir Putin from coming on part of my take.

Speaker 9 And we are pro-Ghost of Kiev. Yeah,

Speaker 4 that's one of those ones that

Speaker 4 we're talking about. It's very weird.

Speaker 8 Watching it was was going like three for three on misinformation

Speaker 5 and immediately I want to believe it, but if like I consider myself a student of warfare and aviate aviation war as well I don't think anyone's gotten an ace in a day in like 75 years

Speaker 5 because they didn't have air-to-air missiles like they have right now, which makes it virtually impossible it was 30 hours, but he landed and went back up.

Speaker 4 That's also the weird tapped in.

Speaker 4 He didn't sleep in. He He switched places.
He fell back asleep. He gassed up, grabbed some combos at 7-Eleven and went back up and

Speaker 4 strike. Joe's back.
You know, pumping misinfo, like, that's going to actually help them. So it doesn't really matter.
Maybe if there's a 0.01% that Billy's asleep

Speaker 4 about the ghost help. Sure.
I just think there's definitely a weird thing that's happening on Twitter right now of like war porn. Yeah.
That it's like, I feel really uncomfortable with this. Yeah.

Speaker 4 I'm just going to stick to college basketball.

Speaker 5 I did respect the guy that was carrying the anti-tank mine away from the bridge while smoking a cigarette. Was that

Speaker 5 cool? That was real. Yeah, okay.

Speaker 4 And then there was the farm.

Speaker 8 That wasn't equipped from any time. Yeah.

Speaker 5 No, that was real.

Speaker 4 And it's an anti-tank mine.

Speaker 4 Do we know that was real?

Speaker 5 I saw it from several people on the time. Who cares?

Speaker 9 Let's just gas up the Ukrainians.

Speaker 4 Yeah, just get it.

Speaker 4 We're careful. Yeah, but we're also making...
Yeah, come on. We're hyping them up.

Speaker 4 But it also makes war look cool, and war's not cool. War's not cool.
That's the part

Speaker 4 that gets a little.

Speaker 9 But Klitschko standing with a machine gun was pretty fucking badass.

Speaker 5 It is, but the situation that he's in,

Speaker 5 very uncool. Right.
Deeply uncool. Sitch.

Speaker 4 A lot of fake videos going around.

Speaker 4 That's the weird part. All right.
Should we do hot sequel to own?

Speaker 5 Well, the weirdest part is like the people that take a video that know that it's not from this thing, and then they just tweet it out themselves.

Speaker 4 Well, it's like the people.

Speaker 5 The people that start it, it's very, very strange.

Speaker 4 Do you think that, yeah, I mean, this is this is.

Speaker 4 Listen, we're at a point in the world where i don't think there's anything that could ever happen uh tragedy like an apocalypse where someone wouldn't be out there trying to get some clout off of it that's just a fact that's just how the game works now i'm sure there'll be some fake like nuclear missile missile clout going around people oh yeah oh look i saw these warheads down the street like when matt patricia tried to do that uh to Marcus Mariota before the playoff game in Hawaii.

Speaker 5 And they're like, hey, nuclear threat inbound. That's right.

Speaker 4 That's right. Did Did he really do that? No, he didn't.
That would have been fucking awesome. We got Rocky signed.
We did a lot of fact-checking on this.

Speaker 4 Spotify is going to pull this podcast for sure. Fuck it.

Speaker 5 We'll be the bad boy.

Speaker 4 This episode, the only episode ever deleted. Do you think

Speaker 5 could we do an episode of the Joe Rogan podcast, like one of the ones that they took down where we just do a cover episode?

Speaker 5 We just say all the words.

Speaker 4 Billy has to say them.

Speaker 4 Deal. Okay.
Jake has to say him.

Speaker 4 Jake's quoting it. You know he wouldn't say it.

Speaker 5 Nobody's ever covered a podcast before, though.

Speaker 4 Could be lucrative. Just re-release them like Taylor Swift.
All right, let's do who's back. Sorry, Hank.
Who's back? You're right. I'm out of practice.

Speaker 4 I don't know why I'm out of practice. Why would I be out of practice? Oh, because we didn't have a show last Monday.
That's why I'm out of practice.

Speaker 4 Yep.

Speaker 4 Yep. Who's back with the week?

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Speaker 4 My who's back of the week.

Speaker 8 This is my favorite time of the year because college baseball is back.

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 4 No MLB. Thank you, Mincy.

Speaker 8 Thank you, Mitzi. We'll get to the MLB later at the end of the show.
But Tommy Tanks, he's on NC State. I believe it's seven home runs in his first nine, maybe eight out of ten.

Speaker 8 Either way, he's kind of the main story, the main attraction of college baseball this year.

Speaker 4 With no baseball going on it's getting even more heightened you know coverage this is college baseball kid time to shine bombs yeah he does tommy tanks who's a great name who's the dude on um i think he's on ole miss the big dude yeah that guy's like seven feet tall that dude's awesome too yeah tommy tanks has uh i saw a list of most home runs

Speaker 4 seven it's eight home runs and seven games yeah like no i think it's nine now I think it is ninth. Nine and eight games.
I have the stats here. Yeah.
Nine home runs, 21 Ribbies, 29 RBIs.

Speaker 4 I like what you said. No, go with Ribbies.
Okay, Ribbies. Go with Ribbies.
Also, some people get mad when you say RBIs because technically it's R runs, batted ends would sound weird. It's Ribbies.

Speaker 5 Ribbies. It's RISBY.

Speaker 4 And 588 batting average. Wow.

Speaker 4 And are they playing real teams yet?

Speaker 4 I got to check.

Speaker 4 Tommy Tanks. I just saw my property plan.

Speaker 5 We should just get the disinfo going, just become a disinformation podcast. This guy, Tommy Tanks, is the guy

Speaker 5 from the Little League World Series a few years ago that said he he just loves hitting dingers. Dingers, yeah.

Speaker 4 Evansville, High Point, Longwood, and Quinnipiak.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Quinnipiac.
Great schools. Legit.
You guys can score double digit ones in Nazi. I'm sure Quinnippiak is up to speed on baseball in

Speaker 4 January and February in Connecticut. Yeah.
I'm sure they've been training. I feel like their baseball team is just, it's their hockey team that's trying to stay in shape.

Speaker 4 It's like all the cold weather teams coming down. Yeah, they pushed the executives in one of the three games, 12 to 10 and 10 innings.
Just to get Tommy Tanks to tank their ass.

Speaker 4 All right, that's your who's back?

Speaker 8 It is. I also had Storm Chasers and Billy War mode.

Speaker 4 Yeah, we covered

Speaker 4 mode. PFT, your who's back.

Speaker 5 My who's back of the week is Hank the Tank.

Speaker 5 Hank the Tank is back. He's been kind of exonerated.
So they did DNA testing on all the bear break-ins. It turns out there are three different bears that are performing these break-ins.

Speaker 5 So that means that Hank the Tank is no longer in jeopardy of being shot and killed.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 8 But what what about unless that's misinformation, so then they can make you it's okay if they kill all three.

Speaker 5 Do you think it's like this?

Speaker 4 They realized that Hank the Tank had celebrity.

Speaker 8 Yeah. If they killed him, it was going to be a problem for them.

Speaker 5 Or this could be like their version of the wire where they had to invent a serial killer to get more funding.

Speaker 5 Maybe the parks department invented Hank the Tank to get people's attention on the bear break-ins.

Speaker 4 That's what I'm talking about. I'm talking about bears.

Speaker 4 By the way, because we made a Hank the Tank shirt go buy it in preparation for his untimely death so we could sell more shirts. Memes tipped me off that the Bengals fans found the Harambe shirt

Speaker 4 like a few days ago.

Speaker 4 It took them a couple weeks and they were very mad.

Speaker 5 Yeah, they were extremely upset. But to be fair, we told people not to buy this shirt.

Speaker 4 We said it was a sicko shirt. And also, to be fair, if you should be mad at anyone, it should be mad at the Cincinnati Zoo.

Speaker 4 We didn't kill Harambe.

Speaker 8 It's a great litmus test of like the I said that again.

Speaker 8 Oh, that's okay. The high mind of the internet when it's like, someone posted it, I saw it.
I was like, I can't believe they made this. Yeah.

Speaker 8 And then there was a lot of people being like, I know, this is so fucked up. And then there was a few people that were finally like, yes, it's funny.
Like, yeah.

Speaker 4 Also, it's not that serious. Also, shout out to few few people who I assume are AWLs who snitch tagged me.
That was nice of them. It's like, who the fuck made this? And it's right below.

Speaker 4 It's like, big cat. It's like, fuck.

Speaker 5 Damn it. My other who's back of the week is my back.

Speaker 5 Have a little, I have a little back injury that i'm battling through over here ben simmons it's not good um i i stopped doing my stretches because i'm i'm lazy stopped doing my exercises so today as i was cleaning up my pile uh the back got thrown out again but it's not all bad news because

Speaker 5 uh stu few had reached out to me last thursday or friday and invited me to do something really stupid, which I was going to do.

Speaker 4 It was. Oh, he hit me up too.
I I did not respond.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I replied to it. He

Speaker 4 tried to honeydick me with you. Did he? Yeah.
He honeydicked you? He tried. Go ahead.
Say it. I think he honeydicked.
Yeah, me with you say it, and then I'll say what he said to me.

Speaker 5 Stu Feiner reached out and was like, Hey, a bunch of us are doing this half marathon. Do you want to sign up for it with us? And at the time, I was like, you know what?

Speaker 5 Like, I've never wanted to do anything less in my life than a half marathon. I hate running.
Running's the worst. It fucking sucks.
Don't do it.

Speaker 5 But I was like, maybe, maybe I could be the first person ever to do a half marathon and not ever tell anybody about it so i wasn't gonna i wasn't gonna talk about training i wasn't gonna talk about it after the fact i was just gonna do it and see if i could do it uh just to see if i could do something that i really did not want to do um but now i have a back injury i can't that's a week of training it's eight weeks away yeah there's no chance i can do it now if you think canceling a dentist appointment is an electric rush imagine canceling a half marathon yeah well i did it feels great i he He texted me.

Speaker 4 He was like, hey, we got this half marathon. PFT's running it.
And I just didn't respond. And then a day later, he was like, you don't love me anymore? I was like, no, I still love you, Stu.

Speaker 4 I'm just not running 13 fucking miles on Long Island in like the middle of fucking whatever, March.

Speaker 5 No, it was going to be May, I think. Okay, either the first day of May.
But I'm so pumped to not have to train for this fucking thing and then running.

Speaker 5 And it would have just been the worst of all time. You got to get back on your stretches, dude.
I got to get back on the stretches. It's like 20 minutes a day that changed my life.

Speaker 4 i i played pickup hoops for the first time in two years on saturday and my stretching before and after was longer than the time i played yeah that's just what it is now that's just life it's so easy to do yeah this is for just well the tricky thing is Once you do the stretches, you feel better, and then you stop doing the stretches because you feel better.

Speaker 5 Correct.

Speaker 4 You're like, I'm good. My back is good.
All right, my who's back of the week is James Harden, who is healed of all ailments. The new look sixers look pretty damn good.

Speaker 4 Also, everyone's very upset because they're going to break the record for free throws today against the Knicks. Joel Mbi shot 27 free throws and James Harden shot 10.

Speaker 4 The game took like four hours, so this is going to be awesome, though, watching James Harden. And I do think the Sixers are very good now.

Speaker 4 James Harden's perfect piece to pair with Embiid, but it's going to piss people off, especially that James Harden has now done it twice where he's skinny all of a sudden again, he feels great, and he just duped everyone.

Speaker 4 He's gonna do that to the sixth.

Speaker 5 Yeah, that's what's so funny about the situation: is like a year from now, year and a half from now, they're gonna be in the exact same situation that James Harden was with on the Nets.

Speaker 5 But you don't care as long as you can win. If you can win and then he turns into a dickhead later, that's fine.
It doesn't matter.

Speaker 5 But I think everybody in the situation, even Daryl Maury probably knows. He's like, all right, the clock has started on this right now.
Yeah. We have about six months of Prime Harden.

Speaker 4 Yes,

Speaker 4 let's get it done.

Speaker 5 Are there any strip clubs in Philadelphia?

Speaker 4 Yes. There are? There's a BYOB strip club in Philadelphia.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 5 So that's like two months now. I love it.

Speaker 4 Class of two months.

Speaker 4 And then my other who's back is BuzzFeed, because sometimes you just get lucky you're online at the right time when a tweet gets posted and you're like, you know, this is going to get deleted.

Speaker 4 BuzzFeed tweeted at that point. That was God.
I saw Billy's tweet on Philadelphia. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 You're like, oh, God put me here in this moment, knowing that this won't be here for the next, you know, five minutes from now. They tweeted,

Speaker 4 nurses, what is the most haunting thing someone has said to you on their deathbed? Oh my god.

Speaker 5 That's going to be a hell of a slideshow.

Speaker 4 You won't believe what these people said right before they died. How crazy is that tweet?

Speaker 5 Take this quiz to find out what sort of haunting deathbed statement you are.

Speaker 4 I'm not even taking it from the perspective of like the like Twitter cancellation. Like fuck dead speed or BuzzFeed.
I almost said Deadspeed. BuzzFeed.

Speaker 4 I love how BuzzFeed just goes so fucking hard in the paint. They're like, we will make content out of anything.
I wish they kept that up. Like, why not?

Speaker 4 Like, go, I even said, I was like, do, do paramedics. Like, paramedics, what's the, like, grossest dead body you've ever come across?

Speaker 5 Or just like the grossest thing you've seen? Yeah. Police officers tell us.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 What's the most gruesome crime? What's the most gruesome car crash you've ever seen, paramedics?

Speaker 5 And there's definitely, the thing is, there's a market out there for it.

Speaker 4 Yeah. I would have clicked.

Speaker 5 If they had made that article, they definitely would have gotten all the traffic from it. And everybody would have like pretended to dunk on it.

Speaker 5 But the reality is people would have clicked on it because they're interested in the creepiest shit ever.

Speaker 4 Yeah, BuzzFeed, go for it. This is why,

Speaker 4 what was the old website?

Speaker 4 Not live leak.

Speaker 4 Faces of Death. Remember that? Faces of Death.
Yeah, that was a big deal. That was a website for a while, folks.
Upwork is still there.

Speaker 4 That shit, you were just going on to see dead bodies.

Speaker 9 There's a Reddit thread about people's last words.

Speaker 4 Really? Yeah, and there's a ton of them. So that's probably what they did off.

Speaker 9 Yeah, it's usually, it was all about people confessing to crimes they did when they were younger that they gotten away with. And then one guy said, When

Speaker 5 the wave was hidden, wait, Billy, pull up the thread, and then later on in this episode, this is a cliffhanger. We're going to do the BuzzFeed article.

Speaker 4 Okay, cool. Yeah, that would be awesome mode.
Like, right before you die, you just whisper to the nurse, I did it. It's like, and then they got to figure out what the fuck you did.

Speaker 4 Can we backtrack real quick to the dead body website?

Speaker 4 Yeah, facesofdeath.com. You know, or rotten.
This is never rotten yet. Rotten was

Speaker 4 early internet.

Speaker 4 Early internet. I don't know if they don't even want to look up

Speaker 4 on them anymore. It was just like, you could just see the...
It was basically,

Speaker 4 it was actually Rex Chapman's Twitter feed. Yeah.
It was like, watch this guy get electrocuted, block or charge.

Speaker 5 It was, you'd like, you'd like go over to your friend's house, the friend that had like absentee parents that were never around after school, and then you would go on the internet, type in rotten.com, and then your fucked up friend would be like, look at this guy got shot in the face with a shotgun.

Speaker 5 And then all the sane people in the room would be like, okay, we're leaving.

Speaker 4 Yeah, no we don't want to look and then you'd look and be like no i shouldn't have looked i peeked and then i was like this i'm above this this was terrible yeah i'm gonna pretend that i'm better than you'd have one kid who would just be like would love it and he'd be like this is

Speaker 4 up faces of death.com wasn't there a curb thing where he got a death book did i make that up i don't know about that i was more of a uh i was a mulletsgalore.com guy yeah

Speaker 4 hank was a meat spin guy i've said meat spin a few times people are like definitely i mean i meet spin my friends all the time that was funny It was the original.

Speaker 4 Yeah, set it in as your homepage.

Speaker 4 I was a lively guy, but not. I mean, lively had a little crazy shit.
Yeah, lively had a little of that. I didn't think I was going on there for Deadbon.

Speaker 5 I was a Justin TV guy. Go there watching preseason NFL games.
Check out the chat. The chat on the Justin TV streams was always electric.

Speaker 4 That was Twitch, right?

Speaker 5 It turned into Twitch, yeah. It was Twitch before Twitch was.

Speaker 4 Literally like.

Speaker 5 No, it did, yeah. It turned in.
The company became Twitch.

Speaker 5 but originally it was just like people broadcasting like uh I don't know, Univision like re-oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you just like illegal streams from everywhere on the planet.

Speaker 4 So, I think I've Berenstein Baird myself. Faces of Death was a movie, I think I'm thinking of Rotten.

Speaker 5 You're thinking of Rotten. Faces of Death was a video series.
That's right. One day I rented a house out in Dewey Beach, Delaware.

Speaker 5 Went out there with my friends, and they had an entire VHS collection of all faces of Dead Day.

Speaker 4 That's right, that's right. It was yes.
Okay, it's fucked.

Speaker 5 Yeah, Dewey Beach is a fucked up place.

Speaker 4 Uh, all right, Billy, your who's back?

Speaker 9 My who's back, uh, it was the Klischko Brothers, but I think I'm gonna bring back the spreadsheet from March Madness.

Speaker 4 Oh, good.

Speaker 4 Look, I know this is ridiculous. Here's how I bet every team

Speaker 4 and only lost 25 cents.

Speaker 9 I'm thinking, I'm thinking I'm gonna take all the favorites from the first round and bet all of them to win the whole thing as a future, and then bet the money line on all of the underdogs so that the money lines pay for all the future bets.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 4 And then if they lose.

Speaker 5 No, I like it. Let Billy Cook.

Speaker 4 This makes sense.

Speaker 9 But then if they lose, then in the next round, bet the future on those teams.

Speaker 4 Can I ask you a question, though? Yeah. Not about the spreadsheet, but have you thought about just gambling? Responsibly, but like I've been doing one pick a day.

Speaker 4 It's fun because you're like, this is my one game. I feel strongly about this.
I like to bet on this game, not betting on a game being like, well, if they win, I can also win this one and that one.

Speaker 4 Because you're never gambling. Well, I bet on that.

Speaker 4 You found a way to just make hedging

Speaker 4 a lifestyle.

Speaker 5 It's arbitrage.

Speaker 4 Yeah, he's just hedging. The thing is.
Constantly.

Speaker 9 I haven't been following college basketball as closely as some guys, so I really don't have...

Speaker 4 You think that I follow soccer when I bet on it?

Speaker 4 You don't actually follow it?

Speaker 4 No, I mean, you can't.

Speaker 8 Do you guys want to do a quick talk in soccer? Yeah, sure. Yeah, what's up? Something happened.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 4 Caribou Cup. The Caribou Cup.

Speaker 5 The goalie came out and Baggio'd it into like the fifth deck.

Speaker 4 What does that mean? Hit it really high over. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Roberto Baggio.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you don't have to be an expert. I mean, you could be an expert, but even if you're an expert, I don't think you'll win.

Speaker 9 I just feel like this way, like, I think it's a good idea.

Speaker 4 You know, I shouldn't have shocked you. I'm sorry.
Okay, so I was with you until you got to the second round, and then in the second round, you then bet.

Speaker 5 futures on any underdogs. You do the same thing.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 9 That isn't already factored into your...

Speaker 5 So if anyone if any of the underdogs win then you bet a future on them this sounds like what's going to happen is you're eventually going to have one of your futures hit and you're going to make back like 15 of everything that you've lost right yeah so you like

Speaker 4 it all

Speaker 9 no or kentucky's going to win it all and you're going to get them at six to one and you're going to win back but i'll do the math okay with the spreadsheet and figure out how to allocate the money so that it all okay

Speaker 4 allocation if i can figure it out

Speaker 9 the situation where i always make money then I'm going to ask for a loan.

Speaker 4 Okay, I like it. And I'll give you that loan.
Perfect.

Speaker 5 How much money?

Speaker 4 I don't think that exists, though. Billy.
You can't figure out a way

Speaker 4 to, like, there's no way you can tell me. Don't.
Yes, you can. What's the optimal bankroll, Billy? Tell me.
Don't let them

Speaker 4 walk me through this loan process.

Speaker 9 The thing is, I know it doesn't exist, but it's like chasing Bigfoot.

Speaker 4 Once I find everything didn't exist until someone figured it out, right? Why don't you just try to get it?

Speaker 9 And if I get like millions of dollars, I think we need millions of dollars.

Speaker 4 I'm going to put it all into this spreadsheet. I know you're already saying millions.
Steve Jobs created it. Don't you think someone else would have done this?

Speaker 9 Right, but everyone thinks it's impossible.

Speaker 4 They're not as smart as Philly. You're right.
Okay, you're right. You're right.

Speaker 8 It's impossible as nothing.

Speaker 4 But again, why wouldn't you just put in all your energy into like one game and having an opinion about one game?

Speaker 8 Because that's what everyone does.

Speaker 4 If you go 1-0, you can just walk away from the entire tournament. Billy wants to break Vegas.
How about that?

Speaker 9 I'm trying to break Vegas.

Speaker 4 Billy breaks Vegas.

Speaker 5 I believe in you, Billy. Good luck.
You just tell me how much you need in a loan.

Speaker 9 The only difference between a genius and what's that quote I once said?

Speaker 4 Yep. Forgot about that.

Speaker 4 The only difference between a genius and Billy is the genius doesn't forget the quote.

Speaker 4 Forget the quote. No, I like that quote, though.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 5 The only difference between being a genius and what's the rest of that quote that I said one time? Dash Billy football.

Speaker 4 It's a great question. I want you to do it, Billy.
We'll get an update on it. We'll figure it out.
The only difference between genius and insanity is the genius has limits.

Speaker 4 That's not a good quote for me. That's not it.
No, it's like the only difference between

Speaker 4 You're saying you're insane. Nah, yeah.

Speaker 5 There's no limit to Billy's insanity, which makes him a genius.

Speaker 9 It's going to be fun.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I look forward to it. You're going to break Vegas.

Speaker 5 I'm going to ride with Billy.

Speaker 4 I said I bankroll. You didn't even have to.
I don't even have to see the number. You don't have to give me the pitch deck.
You just have to be like, yo, I got away. I will bankroll.

Speaker 5 Sweet.

Speaker 5 We got to brand it, though. We got to give it like Billy's.

Speaker 9 Billy budget betting.

Speaker 4 It's terrible. It's Billy's budget betting.
You know, you need a triple B. I saved a couple of deals.
You're not the triple B? You triple B, bitch.

Speaker 4 Oh. Yeah.
Triple B. You big back, bitch.

Speaker 4 Or it could be a big baller. He could be a big baller.
Big baller, Bill. Or it could be the better business bureau.

Speaker 8 Big ballers make big bets.

Speaker 4 Yeah, they don't make, I'm going to hedge and hopefully win 15. No, I'm not going to.
I'm bankrolling. I'm going to be.

Speaker 4 Will you let me be devil's advocate when you show me the final plan? Yes. Okay, great.
That's all I want. One final

Speaker 8 $1,000, Big Hat. And I said I can give you back $1,002.

Speaker 4 Yeah, no, that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to give you $1,000, Billy.

Speaker 4 You're going to put it out.

Speaker 9 I mean, that's 2% return.

Speaker 4 That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 That's great return.

Speaker 4 No, no, it's not. No, $100.

Speaker 4 No, it's not. Did you say $100?

Speaker 4 He said $1,000. No, he said $1,000.
$1,000. Okay, my bad.
It's still a profit. It's point.

Speaker 4 You know what?

Speaker 5 That's on them for not betting enough. I don't make enough money in the profit.
If you only put that $1,000, he can only get you.

Speaker 4 I I actually don't think it would keep up with inflation if I gave you that thousand dollars on March 1st and he gave you back a thousand and two April 15th.

Speaker 5 We got to give it a good label, though, like Billy's quantum computing.

Speaker 4 I'm bankrolling you.

Speaker 4 I don't need anything more. I don't believe it, but I believe it enough to bankroll you.

Speaker 9 It's like an impossible word problem that you're never going to figure out, but it's a fun exercise.

Speaker 4 No, no. See, I don't like this because I'm bankrolling you, and you just told me that it's not going to work.

Speaker 5 Okay, here's what we call it: Billy's banned in Vegas betting formula. It's banned in Vegas.
You just say that. It's not.

Speaker 4 Casinos hate him. Banned every day.

Speaker 5 Yeah, casinos hate this guy. Can't go in.
Try not to come.

Speaker 4 Tons of locals

Speaker 4 in your five-mile radius. All right,

Speaker 4 Jake, your who's back. My who's back is respecting Steph Curry.
I know we try to come up with these quarterly reminders, but

Speaker 4 there was a viral video today. Saw it.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 His warm-ups. Yeah, notifyers.
They did lose. He was just casually singing threes from the logo.

Speaker 5 He's so what he did in that exercise, he started with like a sky-high finger roll, and then he would take two steps back, hit shots until he got to half court, then two shots in, and end with another sky-high finger roll.

Speaker 5 It's crazy. I don't think he hit the rim a single time.

Speaker 4 It's got to be so much fun.

Speaker 4 Like, think about going on a basketball court. It's been like, whatever I shoot, it's going in.

Speaker 4 That would be so much fun. You think you'd ever get bored, though? No, no, he just doesn't.

Speaker 5 No, definitely not. I think I'd get bored.

Speaker 4 No, I'm not an NBA person. No, it would be so much fun.
Every game would be so much fun. Like, what cool shit am I going to do this time? Also, John Morant's 360 layup.
It was a full 360.

Speaker 4 I don't know against the Bulls.

Speaker 4 He looked like he was in the Matrix. Like, he was mind-bending.

Speaker 5 You want to fix the dunk contest? Make it a layup contest.

Speaker 4 Holy fuck, that was insane.

Speaker 4 All right. Let's get to Coach Prime, Deion Sanders.
We'll do a little MLB lockout on the other side. Maybe also talk about who's going to be announcing what games next year.

Speaker 5 And also the Billy's what death on the deathbed segment on the deathbed hand up I botched a question to Deion Sanders and in retrospect I'm like why did I not know that I asked him if if he ever raced against Randy Moss yeah at Florida State because Randy Moss went to Florida State for like I don't know a month or so and I thought that it was during the in but the the bottom line is I'm gonna throw Coley under the bus because he told me to ask that question yeah afterwards I actually went up to you I was like was that a bit that I didn't understand no Coley was like you You should ask him this question.

Speaker 5 I was like, Good call, Coley. Turns out Coley's trying to get me fired.

Speaker 4 Yeah, uh, all right, we got a quick ad before we get to Deion Sanders.

Speaker 5 Yeah, before we get to Coach Prime,

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Speaker 4 Okay, we now welcome on one of our favorite guests. He is recurring, I don't know, 15 times now.

Speaker 4 I've been a few times now. And plus, it's Black History Month, so you guys needed me.
Yes, it is. That is the voice, the iconic voice of Deion Sanders.
Will it be when we run it on Monday?

Speaker 4 Yes, go away. Oh, it's the last day.
Okay, year. I'm going to close out.
We got a short month. You got to get me in.
It's a buzzer beater. You hit the buzzer beater on Black Mystery Month.

Speaker 4 There you go. Yeah, it is Coach Prime, Deion Sanders.
Coach Prime fall season is out now Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Speaker 4 You can watch

Speaker 4 live on YouTube on the Barstool Sports channel. I watch both episodes.
I love the show. I do have to talk to you, though, about, let's start here.

Speaker 4 You were wearing a hat on episode two.

Speaker 4 It was basically, I don't know if you saw the picture, PFT. It was.

Speaker 4 PFT can't say anything right now. Why is that?

Speaker 4 Expand on that thought. I can't.
He said, I'm wearing a hat. Yeah.

Speaker 4 And when he said that, my eyes went over to your hat. Yeah.
And that's it. I am wearing a hat.
He looks like a newsies/slash peaky blindo slash paperboy.

Speaker 4 I like that. You're like that, too.
Yeah, yeah. Well, you, again, you're wearing a ridiculous hat, so you have to defend him.
Oh, it's a ridiculous hat.

Speaker 5 Actually, this is the anti-cancer hat in the NFL. Are you pro-cancer?

Speaker 4 No, I'm not. Okay.
I'm anti-buck, yeah, the hat was old school swag, is what you call it? Old school swag. Okay.
It was nice. I love the show, though.
If you don't watch it, it is really good.

Speaker 4 It's very, very good. Beers is unbelievable.
I mean,

Speaker 4 the doubleness in him is unbelievable.

Speaker 4 You would not think, and oftentimes Sam, we call him Sam Malone, my trusty right-hand man, he texts me a picture of Dana chugging beers, and he he always alludes to this is your producer. Yes.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's, I actually said it last night, like watching the show and being like, wow, this is an incredible documentary inside look into what you guys are building and knowing that the guy behind all of it is the beer guy.

Speaker 4 It should win an Academy Award. No, honestly.
Honestly, he's got to win something. It's crazy.

Speaker 5 It's crazy that Dana has the ability to flip a switch where he's

Speaker 5 able to produce some decent content sometimes. He's got a good eye for things.

Speaker 5 But then, you know, the second that he hits the power button on that camera, he's just like grabbing the nearest beer and dumping it down his shirt. And that's like, that's what he does.

Speaker 4 He's a different guy in Jackson. He's two different men.

Speaker 5 What's he like down there? Is he less snakish?

Speaker 4 He's not snakish. He's really locked in.
He's focused. He's a leader of his Barstu's men and men and women.

Speaker 5 Do you think the locker room has accepted Dana?

Speaker 4 Oh, they love him. Now, he's a hit.

Speaker 4 In terms of Dana, like, you don't let him drink down there, right? Well, I can't control this grown man. Right.
But me and Mama Beers have drawn together. To try to get him to curb it? Yeah.

Speaker 4 To do right. So if you and Mama Beers are like the angel on his shoulder, there's got to be a devil.
Who's the devil?

Speaker 4 Barcelones. Yeah, I think it's Dana himself.

Speaker 5 Just like a smaller version of Dana. It's like, no, do the beer tweet, Dana.

Speaker 4 Like, maybe me?

Speaker 4 Dana.

Speaker 4 Oh, Dana.

Speaker 4 Go ahead, buddy. Come on.
Come on. Don't go for it.
Don't flip.

Speaker 4 Don't jump. He's got to.
It's our show. Come on, Dana.
Do it, Dana. Do the beer, Tana.
Dana, I'm here. You're at our office.

Speaker 4 Dana, I'm right here.

Speaker 4 Dana! I'm right here. Dana sees your producer for

Speaker 4 all season.

Speaker 4 You kidding me. It was that easy.
It's 11 a.m. Who is this guy? Finish it.

Speaker 4 It's in the morning time.

Speaker 4 Oh, my God. I've never seen this live.

Speaker 5 Oh, that's your first experience watching Home My Day.

Speaker 4 Oh, no.

Speaker 4 Is it bottomless over here? No, no, no. Is it bottomless? Come on.
Get out of there. Come on, Dana.
No, you can't do it. Just one more.
You can't do it. Just one more.
Do not fall for paper, Britt.

Speaker 4 Dana, pray.

Speaker 4 Who is this man? 11.05 in the morning?

Speaker 4 Who is this man? Oh, man. I got to comb all my beers.

Speaker 4 Oh, my God. Isn't that easy to get him back?

Speaker 5 Yeah, there's no real rhyme or reason to if you just say the word beer to him. He's like, I guess I can't.

Speaker 4 No, no. Oh, no.
Another one.

Speaker 4 Just one more. Oh, my God.
Come on, more lawyers.

Speaker 4 One more beer.

Speaker 4 Just one more beer. Don't showers.
It's not about me. No.

Speaker 4 Come on, Dana. One more beer.
You got this. That's it.
That's it. I'm done.

Speaker 4 I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it.
I'm not going to throw it in my back pocket. You've got to be kidding me.
One more beer. I've never seen him this way.

Speaker 4 It's funny, too, because I was planning, like, did Dana to not address him till the end of the show, but it's his presence just you just wanted to chug a beer.

Speaker 5 Well, he's like he's a very specific type of pet

Speaker 5 that has one use. It's like if your dog would only let you give belly rubs, Dana's one thing is just if I see beer, I chug beer.

Speaker 4 I've never seen this guy. Chug that last one.
Come on. Yeah, it's a different guy.

Speaker 4 Mama Beers.

Speaker 4 I'm drinking again.

Speaker 4 He's drinking again. No, I'm sitting in here

Speaker 4 doing a podcast

Speaker 4 and I've never seen this Dana Beers in my life. I had to call you.

Speaker 4 Oh, my God. Dan is just holding up a beer and throwing it over to him, and he's downing it.
Like, I've never seen this guy.

Speaker 4 Oh, that's a great sign.

Speaker 5 He's a crispy boy. My mom.

Speaker 5 Go hit him with your Bible again.

Speaker 4 Oh, my God. Deon, now, do you know that Dana actually put a beer up his butt once?

Speaker 4 Mama Beers, we'll call you back. We'll call you back, Mama Beers.
Mother's phone.

Speaker 4 It's getting bad.

Speaker 4 We will. I'll call you back, Mama Beers.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 4 True.

Speaker 4 Those guys are not good for you. They're not good for your son.
I'll talk to you later, Mama Department. Wait, Dana.

Speaker 5 Did you put the funnel up your butt?

Speaker 4 Tell me, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Dana, it was a funnel? He put a funnel in his butt.

Speaker 4 Wait, wait, no, no.

Speaker 5 Did you go to Home Depot and like buy a new funnel and take it home knowing that you were going to put it up in a button?

Speaker 4 Hold on, hold on, hold on. He put a funnel in his butt drunk a beer.
Yep, Coach Prime.

Speaker 4 Did you ever use that funnel again? That's your Scorzac.

Speaker 4 That's your Spielberg. That's him right there.

Speaker 4 That's your Spielberg. Dana, what did you do with the funnel afterwards? Coach Prime, this is not who you think it is, all right? Oh, my God.
Well, no, it is. It's Dana Beer.
It's not Dana B. Dana B.

Speaker 4 Then just flipped it over.

Speaker 4 It was that easy.

Speaker 4 Oh, my God. All right, we'll let Dana cool for a second.
Sam, you've been right here. You can sip it and we'll let you cool, but it is a great documentary.
I have some questions, though, about it.

Speaker 4 Please. You do something as geniuses.
When you hit a point and I can see it in your eyes where you're like, oh, that was good, what I just said.

Speaker 4 And you repeat it because then it like really hits it, hits it home. So, yeah, your speeches are always.
Some of those kids are, some of them are like hanging on every word.

Speaker 4 You can see that in their eyes. Some of them are like, shut up.
Let's go out there and play. We're ready to go play.
Shiloh is one, my son is one of those guys. Do you care?

Speaker 5 He's probably heard it so much. No, he's not.

Speaker 4 He hadn't heard it. He's just wanting to go play.

Speaker 4 He's just always going to do something crazy.

Speaker 5 There's that art, though. You bring it up to like a high bubble.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 5 And then you just crash that.

Speaker 5 It's like if it's a pot that you're boiling water in, it gets up, starts to boil, boil, and you just smash it and knock it on the floor, and then everybody goes nuts. Yeah, I'm just ready for them.

Speaker 4 I just want to provoke thought and get them. to a point where I got them mentally.
And then they could go out there and exude the physicality of it.

Speaker 4 Who gave the best speeches to you when you were in the NFL or college? I didn't have big speech givers. Really? No.

Speaker 4 But Bobby Bowden was not a speech giver? No, he just laid out a few points that you had to go do and

Speaker 4 you had to pull off in the game and you're going to win if you did those several things. But no, I never played for great

Speaker 4 guys that really relied on speeches. Yeah.

Speaker 5 When you were back at Florida State, were you teammates with Randy Moss for like a week?

Speaker 4 No, he was AP. That means after prime.

Speaker 5 Okay, it was after prime.

Speaker 4 because i was curious if you ever had a chance to race him in your prime you said was he and like most is unbelievable man you said even a lot younger than you yes yeah but i thought that there was like a short period of time that maybe you were around him yeah do you think your prime versus his prime heads up who wins in a race uh i'm never gonna say i'm gonna lose a race one of the guys that probably would have presented the biggest challenge probably would have been daryl green yeah yeah i just spoke to him the other day too man and he probably would have been the one that presented the most challenge in the in the primes you think it was like you and him, two fastest players in the league for a long time?

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 Not just, see, it's like Randy, to his credit,

Speaker 4 Randy is arguably the best that ever played the position. But Randy was fast on the field.
It's a lot of fast guys that are not fast on the field. Like, you can't see them play with their speed.

Speaker 4 Daryl Green played with it. Yeah.
He played with it. And a few guys play with it.
You know, a lot of guys running at the combine, but they don't play with it.

Speaker 5 Yeah. And then it's always fun to see.
I love watching all the compilations of defenders chasing down speedsters in the open field. And Daryl Green used to do stuff like that.

Speaker 5 Is there any guy that you ever chased down? You hit him, and he was like, oh, that's embarrassing. I just know.

Speaker 4 No, they don't say that, but you go get them, and they know.

Speaker 4 They know it's over.

Speaker 4 Their reputation is done.

Speaker 4 One of my favorite parts about this

Speaker 4 fall season and Coach Prime is you can see the change that's happening at Jackson State. And I'm gonna, I'm gonna, you're a humble guy, not really,

Speaker 4 but

Speaker 4 I am gonna say, like, it's incredible to watch it. Even the little things like the, oh, it's a big thing, but the field, changing the field.
The field you guys practiced on in the first

Speaker 4 year was garbage. Garbage.
Yeah, it was true. Garbage was an understatement when you had to take a bus 15 minutes away to go practice at a high school field.
With potholes. And you're at college.

Speaker 4 The potholes weren't even the worst thing. It was a big fall-off on the side of the field that if someone ran a fade and ran off the side of the field,

Speaker 4 you're going to dislocate your leg or something's going. And they said it actually happened.
That's crazy. They said that then they had

Speaker 4 like the what is the things that the water go in on the side of the field?

Speaker 4 The gutters or something. It was horrible.
And so you, but now you have a new synthetic, beautiful. Oh, beautiful.

Speaker 4 Thanks to Walmart. Okay, so that was Walmart.
So you're, and then what's the next thing you're going to upgrade? Because I. I got a new locker room almost done.
I love it.

Speaker 4 I love seeing it because you can see,

Speaker 4 you know, a lot of times you'll watch college football, and a lot of the coaches will say, well, it's about building men and all this stuff. It's like, okay, that's kind of lip service.

Speaker 4 You know what I mean? Like, Alabama's, they're trying to win national titles,

Speaker 4 but you're doing things day to day

Speaker 4 where

Speaker 4 you were watching, you know, like press conferences with one of your players being like, look how many times he says the word man, or look how many times he

Speaker 4 was an eye guy. Right.
I, I, I, I, I. Like, dude, come on, on, man.
Come on.

Speaker 4 And those type of little things. So, so, locker room, what else is, what's next after that?

Speaker 4 Well, we get, first of all, we had to re-haul the equipment. Under armor came in, did uniforms.
So we have several uniforms. We have three more coming this year.
We

Speaker 4 get on the phone personally, cut deals with Under Armour, not Under Armor,

Speaker 4 Zenith, as well as Rydell. for the helmets, two different helmet companies.

Speaker 4 The equipment is so many things.

Speaker 4 NFL did a great job of helping helping us with some of the equipment and the field equipment because you take those tackling dummies and sleds, you take all this stuff for granted.

Speaker 4 We got an adjoining field that now it's adjacent to the turf field. It's a grass field that we could practice two groups simultaneously and get special teams done at the same time.

Speaker 4 The offensive defense is going. It's so many little things like that.
Cafeteria,

Speaker 4 trying to build a whole inclusive cafeteria right now so that we don't have to go across campus and the kids eat right there self-encompassing with ourselves instead of sharing it with another sport or whatever.

Speaker 4 All those are huge things.

Speaker 5 I saw that you're also playing hardball with some of the scheduling stuff that you have going on. Yeah.
Because it actually became apparent to you, and there's no way that. It's a hustle.

Speaker 5 Yeah, it's a hustle. Exactly.
People don't realize that until

Speaker 5 your presence there has,

Speaker 5 aside from the stuff that has happened on the field, but the attention that you attract just by being you there, I think has educated a lot of people as to how a lot of these things negatively affect the children or the kids that go to school there.

Speaker 4 Some really, man.

Speaker 5 The scheduling thing, you're losing money on some of these trips, right?

Speaker 4 You're losing money

Speaker 4 tremendously. Like

Speaker 4 this particular classic that you're talking about. First of all, why would two colleges need a promoter?

Speaker 4 You're two colleges and you have ADs. Why would you need a promoter? That's number one.
Secondly, I think the fee was like over 30 years, $6 million. Like that's peanuts.

Speaker 4 So by the time you take several buses, seven buses for real for this band four buses for the players a couple for the uh um people assistants or whatever hotel accommodations food you're out of that you're that 180 200 ground you you're out of that so you didn't make nothing you so you really came up there on a blank trip and we got to stop that foolishness the first thing we need to take care of a as hbc uses the business aspect of everything And that's something that we're changing right now.

Speaker 4 We're taking care of business.

Speaker 4 Do you think that

Speaker 4 your school and all the schools you play against, are they starting to come around to like, because I know that when you showed up, it's like, hey, we're changing things and maybe people didn't, people don't love changing.

Speaker 4 Oh, my God. Now you own it.
Now you understand it. Like, they have a way of doing it.

Speaker 4 So you're the most loved by this section of the people, but you're the most hated by this section of people because when you start changing things, you affect jobs. Right.
And security and stability.

Speaker 4 And the hustle that's been going on for years. So have people become more like, hey, look, what Coach Prime is doing here is like, this is good.
These are good things.

Speaker 4 People on the outside, and some people on the inside, coaches are like, are calling like, hey, man, thank you for saying that because we're dealing with the same thing, but we can't say it. Right.
So

Speaker 4 that's a positive. Yeah.

Speaker 4 I mean, it is, you're in a unique situation where, you know, you, you do have the power to call, you know, get a deal where you can get a new field and say about, talk about all these things knowing that you're good.

Speaker 4 The biggest power is having stability that you don't need it. Right.
Because now you can say what needs to be said and you're not afraid of losing the job because, all right,

Speaker 4 I'm good. Right.
You don't have to worry about

Speaker 5 trying to smooth anything over. Yeah, right.

Speaker 4 You're not going to make any friends. You just want to work for the kids and do what's right by the kids.

Speaker 4 Like,

Speaker 4 you guys heard it during the pandemic. You heard all the Fortune 500 businesses say, we're doing this for HBCUs.
We're doing that, right?

Speaker 4 Where did the money go? Right. Where did the change? I hadn't seen any change.

Speaker 5 Went through like three middlemen.

Speaker 4 So, no, no, I want to know where did it go? I'm hearing all these endowments to all these HBCUs.

Speaker 4 Where did it go? Right.

Speaker 4 Somebody raised their hand and say, okay, we did get the check and this is what we did. I haven't heard that yet.
Right. And you are doing things that you can see day to day.
Tangibly. Right.

Speaker 4 Every day. Right.

Speaker 5 So you're a smart guy. You've always got a plan.

Speaker 4 And we think, well, first of all, we thank barstools as well because now you could actually see the change. Right.
If not for that, you can see it.

Speaker 5 You're always a smart guy. You've always had like your,

Speaker 5 whenever I see you operate, I'm like, that's a guy that's thinking like three steps ahead. You have an ultimate goal that you want to get to.
What is that?

Speaker 4 Well, I want to see these kids have equality, man. I want to see them have opportunity.
Just like something simple as having a pro day.

Speaker 4 A pro day is something simple to you, but it's not simple to HBCUs. It's not simple to have a pro day and scouts actually come to see what you got.
So I even took it a step further.

Speaker 4 I said, you know what?

Speaker 4 Let's just have, i want grambling southern those schools are in louisiana they even come to our pro day so the nfl said no they can't come to your pro day because they have to stay in state i say so they have to go to lsu's pro day

Speaker 4 and when they get ready to run their hundreds or 40s or whatever they do the drills nobody's gonna look up at them because they're waiting for the lsu guys so that's what you're putting our kids through because that's how it's been for life so we're having several schools in mississippi come to our pro day but i'm fighting for other hbcus to come to one particular pro day.

Speaker 5 So you see yourself sticking around in the HBCU environment for a long time?

Speaker 4 I see myself making change immediately where I am today.

Speaker 4 I don't look to tomorrow, man. I'm going to miss the day if I look to tomorrow.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 The pro day stuff and like having scouts come to

Speaker 4 your camp and to your practices.

Speaker 4 It's like the beauty of sports when I'm watching you and how you coach, because, you know, sports are not the most important thing in life, but you said it yourself: like, letting these kids feel what it feels like to win and to have success can build them forever, forever.

Speaker 4 And it's just like that's the building blocks because, like, having a day where it's like, ooh, I did this, I accomplished this, now you know how to do something else.

Speaker 4 And it's truly, and these guys are smart, the tough, the fast, the disciplined. It may come a day that you guys, or Erica, may say, you know what? I see the guys you're producing from your program.

Speaker 4 Two employees, they can start at 75 grand a piece or whatever. Give me two that you'd really trust.

Speaker 4 I like that. Right.
I want that. I want these kids to go into the workforce and make a difference, man, because 95% of them are not going pro.
That's for every program.

Speaker 4 95% of the kids play for you are not going pro. Do you have, how many pros do you have on your roster, though, right now? I know that's a terrible question.

Speaker 4 That just came out or on the roster.

Speaker 4 That are like you, you could say, and you don't have to say names, but you're like, these, off the top of your head, how many kids do you think can play in the NFL? That play for me right now. Yes.

Speaker 4 15. Wow.
That's crazy. That's got to be 15.
Was it zero when you got there? When I got there, it was none. Yeah.
That's crazy. None.
I mean, we've had the top two classes in FCS the last two years,

Speaker 4 recruiting classes, and we bring in all these.

Speaker 4 Let me tell you something, the portal now, man. It's free agency.
Yeah. I feel bad for high school kids because we're only taking like four to five high school kids this year.
And

Speaker 4 they're getting the the short end of the stick.

Speaker 4 The NCA is going to have to come in and say, We got to increase the scholarship for high school kids because why would you take the chance when you already have a plethora of kids that has already been to college, made the adjustment, and you know what's wrong with them or you know what's right with them, and you'd rather go there instead of risking a high school kid.

Speaker 4 Yeah, a 22-year-old versus an 18-year-old is a very big difference. Very big difference.
And coaches are getting fired in a couple years, so you're trying to get guys that ready to help you now.

Speaker 4 Right.

Speaker 4 No one's red shirts anymore. Yeah.

Speaker 5 You've said that

Speaker 5 if a major program wants to lose a recruit to you, let that recruit go to an HBCU.

Speaker 4 HBCU homecoming, right? That's crazy, man. So we're white guys.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 We probably have, I'm going to guess that there are a couple white guys that are also listening to the show.

Speaker 4 Oh, those guys right there are white.

Speaker 4 Yep. Yeah.

Speaker 4 We got it. Yeah, we got a few beers.
There's Egyptian shirts.

Speaker 5 We got a few whiteys in here.

Speaker 5 Can you explain to us what is different about

Speaker 5 those homecoming weekends?

Speaker 4 The pageantry,

Speaker 4 the culture, they don't just come for the game. They come for the moment.
It's like a darn award show. That's the closest thing that I can appropriate it to, right? Like

Speaker 4 not just a B.E.T. Awards, like American Music Awards, like a Grammys.
That's what a HBCU homecoming is.

Speaker 4 And then you happen to have two events happening on the same day, which is the game and the halftime performances by the bands. It's unbelievable, man.

Speaker 4 But the party, it's like a darn bowl, like the bowl game that you guys are going to do in Arizona. It's like a party for the whole week.
It's a week-long festivity.

Speaker 4 I never experienced that at Florida State.

Speaker 4 I didn't even, you didn't even give a darn about homecoming. It's just another game.

Speaker 4 You recruit a garbage opponent so you can beat the brakes off of them, and that's what it is. It's totally different, man.
I mean, what's the strip called down the center of Jackson?

Speaker 4 They just call it the set or whatever the strip that down the whole center of Jackson's school.

Speaker 5 Dana's wasted right now.

Speaker 5 His eyes are just completely.

Speaker 4 Did you finish your third beer?

Speaker 4 Did you finish your third beer? I looked at him and I saw his soul. Yeah.

Speaker 4 It's like nobody home. Dude, nobody was there.
I looked at him and saw his soul.

Speaker 4 I don't think Dana even realized that you were talking to him.

Speaker 4 You guys were just staring each other in the eyes, and Dana was

Speaker 4 lost in space. You know what? I think I got it.
Yeah, one more thing.

Speaker 4 You got to drink your way out of this shit for him. I got Dana.
One more thing.

Speaker 4 No, I got one more thing. No, no, peer pressure.
No. All right.

Speaker 4 Listen, that will help you. That'll fix you up.

Speaker 5 Yeah, the HBCU homecoming weekends do sound like a lot of fun. It's not

Speaker 4 like a current crazy. But I didn't know.

Speaker 4 I didn't know myself. I drove my golf cart through there checking on my kids, checking on not my sons, but checking on my football players because I didn't want them to get caught up in the mayhem.

Speaker 4 Man, it was ridiculous. Thousands of people just lined the whole school corridor and just, it's unbelievable.
It's crazy, man.

Speaker 4 I kind of want to go now. Then we got 60,000 in the game.
Yeah, yeah. Didn't to top it off.

Speaker 4 Are you looking for a kicker?

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Maybe bring me down on that. No, no, we signed a four-star kicker.
Oh, we did. I'm only three stars.
It seemed like you signed him in the last four seconds. No,

Speaker 4 I had it written. When you say you're looking for a kicker, you always can use a kicker.
Punter. But a kicker assigned a guy that's pretty darn good.
Okay. He's really good.

Speaker 4 Can you explain how the Travis Hunter, who, if you don't follow college football, he was the number one recruit in the nation, signed with Jackson State.

Speaker 4 Everyone then accused Barstall of paying for it, which is not true. You guys gave him $2 million, right? Yeah, three million.

Speaker 5 I gave him the extra million on top. Mike closed the deal.

Speaker 4 My counter to that is if Barstall was handing out money, Kale Williams would be a Wisconsin Badger

Speaker 4 and Michigan would have awesome recruits. Oh my God.
It would be insane. I think that would probably happen first.
So

Speaker 4 how did you get the number one? Like, how did that process go? It came to a homecoming. That's it? No, that, that, that was 70% of it.
Really? We just couldn't mess up the other 30. Right.
He was 70%.

Speaker 4 He was committed to your alma mater. Yeah.
People were very upset. I don't know why.
I don't care. Very upset.
They don't own the kids.

Speaker 5 They probably should have hired you if they wanted to.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you broke it.

Speaker 4 But how, like, what was the pitch? It wasn't a pitch. Like, we don't pitch kids.
We just really, you know what, guys?

Speaker 4 You're going to have an opportunity to come here and get an education and play some darn good football and have a good time. And we're going to teach you.

Speaker 4 Travis' mother just text me about, I wanted you to sit down and talk to him about this, this, and nothing bad because he's a great kid. You're talking about work ethic and all that.
Unbelievable.

Speaker 4 Doing great in school. He's already on campus.
And I say, I promise you, mama, you sent me a boy, you're going to get back a man in three years before he goes pro.

Speaker 4 And that's probably the only promise that we have. Yeah.
We don't promise you. You're going to get it a certain number.
Like the number thing, Travis was going to wear one. I think he wanted one.

Speaker 4 Then he wanted this high school number. So he did it with the other kid that was wearing 12.
They did that. We don't handle all that.
I don't give a damn what number you are. And he's just a good kid.

Speaker 4 He didn't have to be promised nothing. You know, we didn't have to try to buy him.
We don't have any money to buy him, first of all. But the kid just has an

Speaker 4 insatiable appetite to play football. And he can do it.
Like what I've seen thus far, the kid's a stud, man. His work ethic, he's working out, putting on weight, getting bigger and stronger faster.

Speaker 4 But even in the mat drills on Tuesdays, Thursdays, the dude is the first one in the line, I mean, ready to go, getting on the older kids.

Speaker 4 Like, come on, get up on the line, get your hands off your knees. He's that.
I had him in the office the other day. I said, why did you go to left corner?

Speaker 4 Because I saw you at left corner instead of right. I just want to know your thought process.
He said, Coach, I don't give a damn where you put me. I'm going to cover.

Speaker 4 And matter of fact, just let me play, man. I'm good.
Give me the best, the opposing team's best player. That's the way he thinks already.

Speaker 4 And it's going to have a big impact because he's going to go to the NFL and then every day, every time he's on a primetime game, he's going to say Jackson State.

Speaker 4 And it's like everything snowballs from there. So it's monumental.
I know that when it happened that day was like, it rocked the conversation

Speaker 4 I felt really good about it, but I didn't want to go all in. Right.
But I said it's a pretty good chance we're going to have a, we're going to shock the world. Yeah.
And you did.

Speaker 4 And we shocked the world. You did.
We changed the whole recruiting game. Now, I'm happy with all HBCUs getting three and four stars, not necessarily five stars.

Speaker 4 But we got to change the business practices on campuses. We got to change the whole thought process of how we function as a business for HBCUs now to keep those kids.

Speaker 5 You saw some of the bigger schools and the fan bases and a couple coaches like kind of indirectly seeming frustrated with the fact that you took one of the best players to go to your school.

Speaker 4 Well, I got something I want to challenge them. Uh-huh.
Can I do that? Absolutely. Okay, tell me this.
Now, you got the NIL deals, and we all know about the NIL. Name, image, and likeness.

Speaker 4 Now, NIL is is like an endorsement deal. I'm seeing kids that the colleges proclaim they have a million dollars worth of endorsements or half a million dollars.

Speaker 4 Tell me what have you seen them endorse?

Speaker 5 They do. I know

Speaker 5 Hinden Hooker was doing an advertisement for apartment complex, but it was like not much money at all.

Speaker 4 Yeah, a lot of raising canes. But I'm saying, like, what have you seen them endorse to quantify that? Now, see, when you see our kids or

Speaker 4 my son, and they say you have an endorsement for beats or tarmac, you see it.

Speaker 4 You see the tangible endorsements. But how can you get a million dollars worth of endorsements for a kid at these power fives and nobody sees nothing they're on? Yeah.

Speaker 4 So is that really endorsements or there's some kick that's just a kick down money being paid from an agent, from not an agent, I'm sorry, from a booster. Yeah.
See, we don't have boosters like that.

Speaker 5 Because you can say, like, I'm paying this person to to do advertisements for my car dealership.

Speaker 4 But we haven't seen it.

Speaker 5 And then you just never produce the commercial, right?

Speaker 4 We've never seen it. At least if you say you're going to do something, we got to at least see it.
The NCA should hold people accountable. If they say they got a deal and they're making this, show it.

Speaker 5 So you got a little bit of pushback from some of these other Power Five coaches.

Speaker 4 What about from within the HBCU community? No.

Speaker 5 Was it like universal support or were there coming up

Speaker 5 that were like jealous that you got it?

Speaker 4 No, the universal support because they feel like now, see, now what HBCUs are doing, once upon a time, they didn't feel like they could get that kid. So they never offered that kid.

Speaker 4 They never offered me coming out of high school. They never offered some of the guys coming out of high school.
They never thought they could get him.

Speaker 4 Now, they're throwing out offers to people and trying to get him on campus. They believe now that they got a shot.

Speaker 5 That's the difference. It takes some guts, too, for Travis Hunter and Kevin Coleman and those guys.

Speaker 5 They're kind of like leading what feels like it could be a major sea change in college football. They're kind of the ones that are saying, you know what, what, we're going to be the first to do it.

Speaker 5 We're going to go out on our own and try to start something new.

Speaker 5 Woods, could you get the sense from, I know you talked about Travis a little bit, but like with Kevin, could you get the sense that like these are guys that are willing to kind of go out and start something that nobody else has really done before?

Speaker 4 That's what they've done, and that's the kind of players that they are.

Speaker 4 Everybody don't have that DNA.

Speaker 4 Everybody don't have that. And you got to be willing to say, you know what? This is where I come from, but I know this is where I'm going.

Speaker 4 So, in between time, I'm going to do this because I know it's inevitable that I get here anyway.

Speaker 5 And you're doing a pretty good job bringing people in to speak to the kids. You brought in one of my heroes, actually, Brittany Renner.

Speaker 4 I'm trying to shoot Brittany. I need you guys to help me.

Speaker 4 We don't do it anymore. That's the good thing.

Speaker 4 You don't do what? Bonky children. I'm just a massive fan of her work.
I could get her on you. Yeah.
I could get her on your shoulder. CFT would love it.

Speaker 5 How did you get in touch with her?

Speaker 4 She was a dear friend of my son's my oldest son junior how dear not that dear okay

Speaker 4 brittany is one of the smartest young women that you ever want to sit down and have a conversation with matter of fact i'm trying to get her her show here oh she needs to be on barstool okay she she needs to be

Speaker 4 on barstools excuse me did she need a co-host i'm not asking for me obviously you said host right i thought you said co-host co-host

Speaker 4 host we'll get her a co-host

Speaker 4 real slow what uh people

Speaker 4 You had backlash for that, too. I don't know why, because I'm just trying to prepare my kids for the world.

Speaker 4 All this stuff you're doing, I love it because it really is

Speaker 4 who we are. It's breaking down things that, like, going back to episode two that I watched last night where you went through interviews and you showed, like, hey, this guy stutters a little.

Speaker 4 This guy doesn't say, this guy says, like, or man. You have to get that out of your, like,

Speaker 4 your repertoire. Yeah.
That kind of stuff, I never, like, no one's. You don't see coaches do it.
No, you don't. You They don't give a darn about it, but I care.

Speaker 4 And this is the way these kids are going to have sustainability. And this is the way these kids are going to provoke change in their communities and in their families.

Speaker 4 We got to be able to step outside the box, man, and make things happen.

Speaker 4 Brittany,

Speaker 4 if I would have had that conversation that Brittany gave our kids in college, I'll have at least 20 to 30 million.

Speaker 4 more in my pocket from the bull junk that I've dealt with and the divorces and all that foolishness in my life, I would have known that's game. Right.
That's game.

Speaker 4 Oh my God, did she break it down? I mean, the best line that she had the whole show was when she said,

Speaker 4 and when I look at my DMs, I have more checks than Nikes.

Speaker 4 Oh, my God. That was so cold.
It's like, Brittany, that is brilliant, baby. Brittany, that is good.

Speaker 5 She's very good at what she does.

Speaker 4 No, she's very smart, though. She's very smart.
Like, you just looking at the external, like to sit down and talk to her.

Speaker 4 She's a step ahead of the game, man. And it's a game out there now.
It's not just, I'm going to go here with my friend and meet Tom at the bar. No, no, no, man.

Speaker 4 She already understands what Tom likes to drinks, what he's going to wear, what he's going to have on, what time he's going to get there.

Speaker 4 She already got a game planned together, and she's getting help from her girlfriends. Yeah.

Speaker 4 I want you to finish this one for me.

Speaker 4 You have this saying, kids that play on Sunday, you're going to remember on Monday, cash their checks on Tuesday.

Speaker 4 What happens on Wednesday and Thursday and Friday and Saturday? They work. Okay.
They work.

Speaker 4 I was just waiting for you to finish it. Because whatever you start with a saying,

Speaker 4 it could go on forever. And that's the best part.
Because you said it, you're like, yeah, kids that play on Sunday, and then you had a beat.

Speaker 4 And you remember them on Monday. And then you had another beat, you're like, cash their checks on Tuesday.
I was just waiting for the rest of the day. There's so many things that I say, and it's just,

Speaker 4 they know it is spontaneous. Like, I'm like, turn on the camera, baby.
I'm rolling. Let's go.
Let's do it.

Speaker 4 Don't make a monument out of a moment. That's my favorite one you sent on TV.
That's the God honest truth. These kids, man, it's so much.

Speaker 4 We could do 10 shows with the content that we have,

Speaker 4 but we have to break it down to, you know, several episodes. It should be.
And Dana's drunk, so he can't. Yeah, he can't edit it.
Definitely right now. He'd have no clue where he is right now.

Speaker 4 He'd think he's on Martyr or something. Drink that last spirit, Dana.

Speaker 5 When Dana's eyes glaze over, it's just. Don't do it.
It's just the best look ever.

Speaker 4 Don't do it. Pierre Tweet.
Now, I did actually want to have Dana on to give him a true performance review. Yeah.
So what is he like day to day? Does he have, he has full access to everything?

Speaker 4 He has clearance. He walks around.
It's innate. He has a team everywhere.

Speaker 4 He has people underneath him. Yes.
And I mean, at night, then day, everywhere.

Speaker 4 And what do you think? Like, is he doing a good job?

Speaker 4 He's doing a great job. First, it was a bonding.
kind of stage. Right.

Speaker 4 That he had to know, you know, kind of how I move, what i like what i don't like and and he got the rhythm real quick i mean he's a quick learn he's an athlete former athlete so he got it really quick

Speaker 4 and ten yeah

Speaker 4 what's the maddest you've ever been at dana i've never been mad at that's that that keeps

Speaker 4 that oh no dana what's the maddest that dion's ever been at you he's never yelled at me it's it's everybody else

Speaker 4 like sometimes i'll just post something too soon or or just i don't know not have the best video edit or something but he's never yelled at me Yeah. Huh.

Speaker 5 What do you think he could improve on?

Speaker 4 Years of scout.

Speaker 4 How about this?

Speaker 5 Like, what's an opportunity he has for improvement?

Speaker 4 The only thing he could improve on, and it's not dealing with anything with the doc, is the other day-to-day. Right.
The music selection.

Speaker 4 I'm not good at that. He's not good at me.
Wait, did you let him pick it up?

Speaker 4 I've been trying to.

Speaker 4 I was about to say, that's on you.

Speaker 4 That's actually on you if you did that. No, that'd be a good idea.

Speaker 4 I'd pick out a music. That'd be like your players calling their own plays and then being like, oh, it's...

Speaker 4 But if it's a video where I'm really talking and informing and instructing and educating, he knows I like that build-up, that kind of crescendo. Yeah,

Speaker 4 what we call it? What we call it?

Speaker 4 You drunk now? He don't know. He's so hammered.
Yeah, he's drunk. Just go home.

Speaker 4 I got a lot to do today. Yeah, hopefully not drunk.
I have Jimmy Fellon to go on.

Speaker 4 He'll probably appreciate the beer with the shit.

Speaker 5 Yeah, he'll appreciate the beer for sure.

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Speaker 4 At what, episode five, four

Speaker 4 in this season,

Speaker 4 you have obviously a health scare. Yep.
Five.

Speaker 4 I was like in real time, because we do the pro football, football show together every week.

Speaker 4 There was a moment where I was like, Because everyone was being a little, you know, like, hey, Dion, it's the nice black secret ever. Yeah.
We've never banned together and kept a secret. It was crazy.

Speaker 4 So

Speaker 4 what can you tell people to watch? Because it really was like touch and go for a minute. I'll tell you what I did.
I did. And he did a great job.

Speaker 4 I said, look, man, I don't want to gross people out, but I want three to five seconds. Show them what happened in three to five seconds and pull back, blur it after that.

Speaker 4 And then when my kids see it for the first time, the same thing. Let them see it three to five seconds.
Because my kids, they couldn't believe it.

Speaker 4 But the first time I looked down the bed and saw what transpired, I had nine total surgeries. On his foot.
Yeah. And on everything.
Oh, no, no.

Speaker 4 Oh, on your ankle? Oh, my God.

Speaker 4 Oh, my God.

Speaker 4 It's on both sides. Holy shit.
Yeah, so

Speaker 4 it hadn't been easy. Yeah.
Holy shit.

Speaker 5 When did you first start noticing a problem with that?

Speaker 4 It was always a problem with my toe

Speaker 4 from football. So this was my fourth toe surgery and it just didn't heal.
So I'm sitting up there and like, dang it.

Speaker 4 And a trainer, she said, we need to go get this checked. I said, what do you mean? She said, your big toe and your second toe is black.
We got to go to the hospital now. I said, let's practice.

Speaker 4 We'll go afterwards. We cool.
And that's when it all started when we got to the hospital.

Speaker 4 And doctors started to look around at each other and you're like, oh, my goodness, something's going on.

Speaker 5 That's a scary look when they don't say anything directly to you. And they just immediately start talking to each other.

Speaker 4 And I was there for a month after that. And it was, it was, um, you, you almost made us feel bad because Dave and I gave you a bunch of shit.
Yeah, yeah. And then you went, and it got like way worse.

Speaker 4 And everyone's like, yeah, it's not good right now. It's not good enough.
Because you got, you, you know, something happened. You went, you came back to work.
We gave you shit for missing like a day.

Speaker 4 And then it was. Because I had a surgery and I came right back to work.
I know. And then we didn't.
And then we didn't see you for like a month. And it was like, oh, shit.

Speaker 4 I probably should have said that. Because it was a threat to my life.
Yeah, I know. It was life-threatening.
And this has all never been seen. It's going to be on episode five.

Speaker 4 Still, to this day, people don't know. Right.
I think a lot of people don't know. My team knew because when I first came back, I addressed the team, and it was a did we show that?

Speaker 4 Yes, it's

Speaker 4 waterfalls, coach. That was waterfalls.
Yeah,

Speaker 4 that's going to be a tearjerker. I don't know.
I know what waterfalls means. I didn't use profanity, but I use other words.
So

Speaker 4 did we take care of that? There was no profanity. I know, but there's other words that is not

Speaker 4 profane.

Speaker 4 I took care of it. not sure.

Speaker 5 I'm not even sure how to think about that. There's words.

Speaker 4 That is not profanity, but they're profane to people.

Speaker 5 Can Dana give me an example of one of those words?

Speaker 4 Deion had to get penis surgery.

Speaker 4 No, I'm not talking. Okay.
Okay. He's drunk.

Speaker 4 But yeah, it was very,

Speaker 4 it was crazy. It was, I remember exactly when someone was like, hey, this isn't

Speaker 4 normal. Yeah.
I was like, oh, fuck.

Speaker 4 It was bad. It was really bad.
It got really, really bad. Lost a lot of blood as well.
Got really, really bad. And then I was on so many meds.

Speaker 4 I don't think I was awake, but maybe a couple hours a day for weeks at a time. I didn't eat anything for three weeks.
I lost 35 pounds.

Speaker 4 I need to get my fucked up. You know, seven surgeries.
Just lose all that. 35 pounds.

Speaker 4 I was like, my high school size, and I was just weak, and I couldn't eat. This is a steuce.
I can say it on bar steus because that's who we are. This is the toughest thing that happened to me.

Speaker 4 I didn't take a dump

Speaker 4 for

Speaker 4 three weeks. What? Okay, no, no, no, no, it's a pain to do.
No, no, no, no, no, I'm building up, I'm building up, building up, I'm building up. So there's like locker rooms.
There's like Mr.

Speaker 4 Sanders, you, you got to take the,

Speaker 4 whatever the thing that makes you about enema. No, I forgot what it was.
Laxatus. I don't think they call it laxative or something.
Yeah. Chili, Skyline chili.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Milk.

Speaker 4 And I said, okay. Then they say, well, can you use a bed pen? I say, ma'am, with all due respect, I can't trick my mind into taking a dump in the bed.
I can't trick myself to do that.

Speaker 4 It's no way I could just have my mind and thinking I'm on the toilet, but I'm in the bed and I'm sitting straight, laying straight down. I can't even push him out.
I can't do that.

Speaker 4 That's not going to happen. So I said, I'll tell you what.
Guys, get me a chair, get me to the bathroom because I feel like I'm almost ready.

Speaker 4 So, instead of them, me letting them get me up, I push up on the bed and I had no strength because I haven't done nothing during the month.

Speaker 4 And I lost all strength there.

Speaker 4 I got dizzy, they put me in the chair, and when I got to the toilet, I tried to push up off the chair a little bit and they sat me on the toilet, but I had exhausted all.

Speaker 4 Then I said, You guys, get out of the room, go.

Speaker 4 I passed out.

Speaker 4 I passed out on the toilet, Like, couldn't do nothing. Like,

Speaker 4 they ran in there, got me out, and it was just a tear jerker. Like, I could not believe this happened to me.
I was so weak. This is what happened to me.
And I was mad at myself.

Speaker 4 I mean, I was teary-eyed, crying, mad at myself. They put me back in the bed, and all night I sat up and thought about it.
I failed.

Speaker 4 The next day, I say, I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it.
I'm serious. I could have waited until the next day.
I'm going to take this dump. Like, I'm serious.

Speaker 4 Like, the rocking music is on, and I'm like, I'm going to take this dump. You're like game planning for me.

Speaker 4 Wait, give us, yeah, yeah, give us, we'll put music. I'm not lying.
Give us a lunch of what you're saying. I don't feel this is a speech.

Speaker 4 But I say, okay, they're going to come in here and they're going to pick me up and they're going to put me in the bed, take me out of the bed. Okay, I'm getting up.

Speaker 4 I'm not going to use my strength anymore. I'm going to preserve it.
So when I need it, okay, I'm going to let them do all the heavy lifting.

Speaker 4 They got me in a chair, took me over to the toilet, set me on there. I looked at them sternly in the eye, and I said, get out.

Speaker 4 Get out. So now I'm on the toilet and I'm like, okay, I could do this.
I could do this. I could do this.
And it was like a woman giving birth. And when I tell you,

Speaker 4 it was like a Rubik's Cube.

Speaker 4 I believe this was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. The SAT, the ACT, covering Jerry Rice, Michael Irving, all those guys does not compare to what I pushed out.
Dude,

Speaker 4 it was, I looked down there, it was nine Rubik's Cubes.

Speaker 4 And I was just laying, I was laying across the toilet like that.

Speaker 4 Dude, come on and get me.

Speaker 4 Please.

Speaker 4 Dude,

Speaker 4 that's the toughest battle I've ever had in my life. I believe it.
I was like, lying.

Speaker 4 That's the toughest battle. That sounds awful.
Yeah, you can. You couldn't even hidestep afterwards, bro.
Awful was an understatement.

Speaker 4 Awful was an understatement.

Speaker 4 I'm not lying. It was so devastating.
I had to look. Yeah, oh, you have to look.
I had to look. Because you're tired.
You don't know

Speaker 5 what's making you feel that.

Speaker 4 I'm not exaggerating. It was was nine Rubik's cubes.
It took a couple flushes.

Speaker 4 They weren't going in one shot.

Speaker 4 They did not go in one shot. Oh, man.
Dude, it's like they had to break up. They had to break the huddle.
Offense and defense. It's no way.

Speaker 4 Bigest thing ever. So Dana's got all that footage for episode five? No, he don't have it.

Speaker 4 You don't have that. That didn't make it.
That didn't make it cut.

Speaker 4 Well, I'm happy that you're feeling a lot better walking around. All right, so last, last question.
Would you like to please rank your five NFL quarterbacks right now? Because I know that

Speaker 4 whatever you say is going to be very stupid. Yes.
Okay.

Speaker 4 Number one. Tom Brady's retired.
Tom Brady's retired because he would be one. Yep.

Speaker 4 I'm going to go with Mahomes just because. Okay.
Okay.

Speaker 4 Two.

Speaker 4 This is where it's going to get Tom Brady. Yep.

Speaker 4 No, I don't agree with you.

Speaker 4 I'm going to go with

Speaker 4 Deck.

Speaker 4 I told you. I didn't know it was going to get that.

Speaker 4 I thought it was going to get other way down. You don't go with Deck.
That's very good. You give Dak

Speaker 4 the personnel that everyone else has.

Speaker 5 Wait, what are you talking about?

Speaker 4 The personnel that he's got loads of. His line is garbage.
His line is garbage.

Speaker 4 I mean,

Speaker 4 his line is garbage.

Speaker 4 That's bad.

Speaker 4 I hate the guy, but you're not going to pick the guy who just won the MVP two times in a row? Who? Aaron Rodgers? Oh, I'm sorry. Aaron Rodgers, number two.
Okay. No, no, no.
Aaron Rodgers is one.

Speaker 4 No, no, no.

Speaker 4 Aaron Rodgers Rodgers is one.

Speaker 4 Mahomes is two.

Speaker 4 You could count on Aaron Rodgers.

Speaker 4 To lose in a universal round of the NFC championship. Mahomes is two.

Speaker 4 Dyke is three.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 5 Still crazy. So dumb.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that part is crazy. This is where.
I'm going to go with

Speaker 4 only because he had a great playoff game, even though they lost. Because if Lamar would have lost 10, he lost.
No.

Speaker 4 I'm going to go with my guy from Buffalo. Okay, Josh Allen.
That's actually huge. Four.
Holy shit. Now, five is a toss-up between several men.
Give me a list.

Speaker 4 Just throw out the names that you're considering for five. You can leave five open and give me the considerations.
Burrow. Yep.
Okay.

Speaker 4 My guy in

Speaker 4 L.A. Chargers.
He

Speaker 4 could play. Herbert.
Herbert could play.

Speaker 4 So you soured on Lamar Jackson?

Speaker 4 Lamar didn't have a great year. I don't know what to expect from Lamar.
I didn't sour on him. He's inconclusive.
Yeah. What about Big Ben?

Speaker 4 Big Ben should have retired three years ago. You know it.
Everybody knows it. Of course, but nobody said.
Oh, no, we said it. No, we, yeah.
Yeah, we said it.

Speaker 4 Yeah. We don't want it.
We hope he never retired. That's about it, between those.
Okay. And you got to be careful with the young guys.
They had great years, but you can't.

Speaker 4 Don't make a monument out of a moment. There you go.
It's a moment.

Speaker 5 Where does he fall?

Speaker 4 He won. He's still Stafford now.
Stafford is, proud of him. He won.
Yeah. But it's no way you should win a Super Bowl when you throw two picks.

Speaker 4 There's no way. He threw what? No, I'm trying to think who else.
I mean, Rosselsberger did. But it's not normal.

Speaker 4 That doesn't supposed to happen. Defensively, with a defensive amount, that does not supposed to happen.
Is Aaron Donald the best defensive player of all time? Not of all time. He's one of the best.

Speaker 4 Cousin Junebug.

Speaker 4 I am. I am.
You are. Yeah, I am.
Then LT, probably. Reggie White.
Oh, my God. See,

Speaker 4 those guys are killers, man. Reggie, Bruce Smith, guys like that.
Ray Lewis was phenomenal. Ed Reed was so dominant.

Speaker 4 Yeah. I just like it that the guys that I was able to play with, they're in it.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 What about between you and Ray Lewis? Who was the guy that was giving the best motivational speeches?

Speaker 4 I was past my prime then, so that was Ray's team.

Speaker 4 I was just there.

Speaker 5 Did he get you fired up?

Speaker 4 If I had to get fired up, there's a problem.

Speaker 4 You can't get another man.

Speaker 4 You're always fired up. Right, I didn't need that.
I just had a job.

Speaker 4 I didn't play with emotions. I just had a job.

Speaker 4 I wasn't a yeller and screamer on the field. Never went off on my teammates.
I didn't give all those big bravado speeches when I played.

Speaker 4 Oh, last, last, last question. Hank just gave me the eyes.

Speaker 4 Would you care to comment on that hat you were wearing on the dunk contest?

Speaker 4 That was beautiful, wasn't it?

Speaker 4 What year was that from?

Speaker 4 It had to be 90s.

Speaker 4 90s. Yeah.
One last question for you. Oh, I'm actually getting the he needs to leave.
Okay. Yeah, one last question.
Sorry, I didn't see the text. I'm 54.
I leave when I want to. But anyway.

Speaker 4 There we go.

Speaker 4 What was up with that dive?

Speaker 4 Like, you embarrassed all of us, but you made it right. It was slippery.
Yeah, but you didn't count that in. You're a very calculated guy.
You didn't count that in. I said it was slippery before.

Speaker 4 I thought my athleticism could overcome that.

Speaker 4 I wasn't able to. But I was scared that you was going to crack a kneecap.
I know, me, tear a hamstring. I know.
Just something.

Speaker 4 Here's the thing: here's the one, one, one great thing about being is out of shape and fat.

Speaker 4 No, you wasn't right fat. But here's the great thing: I don't move fast enough to get injured.
You know how you have to actually kind of move to get injured?

Speaker 4 I don't have fast twitch muscles. And that looked like a pool back from like the 80s.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 The hotel was. It was Melrose Place.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 You ever watch that show?

Speaker 5 Yeah. It was kind of like that set up there.

Speaker 4 Yeah. It was was sort of like the pool that Namath was talking his junk on

Speaker 4 the Super Bowl

Speaker 4 when he guaranteed to win. Yes.
All right, Coach Prime. Appreciate you.
Fall season. I can't recommend it enough.
Tuesdays and Thursday nights.

Speaker 4 You can watch the, you know, last year, you can watch at any time. It's the best.

Speaker 4 And a drunk guy made the whole thing. So it's a feat of

Speaker 4 it's a marvel. It's an actual modern marvel that it got to air.
He really embarrassed me.

Speaker 5 Dave is actually the best athlete in this interview right now for being able to drink and edit.

Speaker 4 Yeah, but he didn't do no speaking.

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Speaker 4 All right. Let's wrap up quickly.

Speaker 4 What's our predictions for who's going to be in what booth next year, real quick? CBS is going to stay the same.

Speaker 4 Jim Nance and Tony Romo. Obviously, Troy Aikman now seems like he's ESPN.

Speaker 5 Yeah, it looks like he's going to be ESPN. I feel bad.
Like, no one's talking about Joe Buck and all this.

Speaker 5 He's losing his pissing buddy.

Speaker 4 I think Joe Buck has

Speaker 4 he might go to ESPN. I mean, I doubt it, but

Speaker 4 it's been rumored a little bit.

Speaker 5 That would be crazy. It would be crazy.

Speaker 8 Baseball, too, though.

Speaker 4 That would fuck him. I'm going to go.

Speaker 4 I'm going to go.

Speaker 4 ESPN will be Chris Fowler and Troy Aikman. Amazon will be Collinsworth and Herb Street.

Speaker 5 Wait,

Speaker 5 who's doing play-by-play?

Speaker 4 Just have. Just have.
No, I'm sorry, not Collinsworth. Michael's in Herb Street.

Speaker 4 And

Speaker 4 Fox will be Joe Buck,

Speaker 4 Sean Payton. Ooh.

Speaker 5 I actually think it's going to be Joe Buck and Greg Olson.

Speaker 4 Ooh.

Speaker 4 They're going to move him up. Yeah.

Speaker 5 I'm going to go on ESPN.

Speaker 5 I'm going to keep it with Steve Levy.

Speaker 4 I like Steve. Okay.
I like him too, but I'm just, you know, we're shuffling all the decks. Yeah.

Speaker 5 I think Steve Levy and then Troy Aikman and then Amazon. I think you're right.
I think they're just going to move over. I think it's going to be Al,

Speaker 5 and I think it's going to be

Speaker 5 maybe Herb.

Speaker 4 He does want, I mean, I think Herbie wants that.

Speaker 5 Which is weird.

Speaker 4 I don't know.

Speaker 4 It's less work and a lot more money.

Speaker 4 It's like the Sean McVay rumors when everyone is like, Sean McVay might go in the booth. Oh, why would he do that? I don't know.
To work one one-hundredth of the amount of time and get paid double?

Speaker 4 Sounds pretty good.

Speaker 5 They should do ESPN instead of doing the Manning cast, they should do the Grudencast, where it's Jay, John, and Deuce.

Speaker 4 I'd be in.

Speaker 4 Would need to have a 15-second delay on that.

Speaker 4 If I were True Aikman, by the way, going to ESPN, I'd be like, you can't do the Manning cast anymore.

Speaker 5 I was thinking about that, actually. Like,

Speaker 5 why would you agree to go there? Even though the Manning Cast doesn't draw that many eyeballs, it's just like a bunch of people that watch it sometimes as a second screen thing.

Speaker 4 It could be like, oh, it's better. Well, the problem you're going to run into is that it's going to clear it.

Speaker 5 But if you're Troy, you're going to ESPN basically to give the wet suck to Roger Goodell so that they can get a decent game every now and again on Monday Night Football.

Speaker 5 And the Manning Cast is at its worst when it's a good game that people care about.

Speaker 5 It's at its best when it's a team that, a game that nobody gives a a shit about that's out of hand by the second quarter.

Speaker 4 And I also understand, Trey Aikman, like, just out of principle, seeing Tony Romo make that much money and everyone being like, he's incredible when you've won three Super Bowls with the Cowboys and you've been doing it for a lot longer, that would piss me off.

Speaker 4 That would really piss me off.

Speaker 5 Troy probably wants to go to a network that allows him to smoke weed in the booth.

Speaker 4 Ooh, good point. Do they allow ESPN? I'm sure.
Yeah, Disney, though.

Speaker 5 He can do anything you want. Disney?

Speaker 4 Mm-hmm. I don't know.
Disney. Actually, Fox might be...
Well, Fox, though, you could probably.

Speaker 5 Could you blaze up? I don't think so.

Speaker 4 You could maybe take some pills or something. Definitely pills.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 All right. What are we doing? Oh, we read an article.
Everyone read an article on MLB lockout. Shall we go? Yeah.

Speaker 4 PFC, why don't you start?

Speaker 5 Okay, I read an article on the MLB lockout. Again, I went back to Breitbart Sports.
They always have the fire takes.

Speaker 5 Basically, where we're at right now is there's a deadline that the owners have set, which is today, February 28th.

Speaker 5 It would have been a real rib tickler tickler if they had said the 29th as the deadline.

Speaker 5 But they just arbitrarily set this deadline on the 28th, which is today, where if they don't come to an agreement, they're going to start canceling games, actual real, regular season games.

Speaker 5 And then the players are like, no, we can always make them up in double headers. The owners are like, no, we don't want to do that.

Speaker 5 Then the players are like, well, if you cancel games and you don't make them up in double headers, then we're going to disagree with the playoff expansion formula that you have in place.

Speaker 5 And we're not going to let you put advertisements on our helmets.

Speaker 4 So, you know what?

Speaker 5 They're playing hardball. They are.

Speaker 4 Truly.

Speaker 4 So that was my big takeaway, too, that tomorrow or today feels like a pretty important day.

Speaker 4 I also read that talks were productive, but short. Okay.

Speaker 4 And then, yeah, there you go. And then

Speaker 4 the most important piece that I got, I read my article from marketwatch.com.

Speaker 4 Between 1 p.m. and 6.30 p.m.

Speaker 4 on Sunday, Deputy Commissioner Dan Halem made four walks from the offices in the main part of Roger Dean Stadium to the area where players caucus in the Cardinals Clubhouse building beyond the right field wall.

Speaker 4 That's a lot of walks. That's a lot of walks.

Speaker 5 Four walks. Now, was he going there?

Speaker 4 That was between 1 and 6.30. They have the bathroom there? I don't know, but that's a lot of walks.

Speaker 4 I love that stat.

Speaker 4 Something's happening. He's walking back and forth.

Speaker 5 And every time I read the name Dan Halem,

Speaker 5 I think it's Dan Heron.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 He would have had this solved already.

Speaker 5 We should just ask Dan Heron. Yeah.
Just pretend that you're the deputy commissioner. Also, what is Rob Manford doing in all this? Is he involved?

Speaker 4 Manfraud?

Speaker 5 Is man fraud just making his number two do it?

Speaker 4 Man fraud's about to have a serious issue on his hands because one,

Speaker 4 Frank the Tank, Francis Fleming, is planning on locking out the lockout on Tuesday. How's he going to do that? He is going to protest

Speaker 4 the lockout.

Speaker 5 He's going on strike from the lockout.

Speaker 4 Correct. He doesn't, you don't lock out Frank the Tank.
Frank the Tank locks out you. So he's planning on, he tweeted on Saturday afternoon amidst the college basketball mania.

Speaker 4 I want to protest the lockout. Can anyone tell me where?

Speaker 5 Well, the irony is that the lockout would definitely make Frank the Tank's mental health so much better because he wouldn't be upset about the Mets.

Speaker 4 No, but I think he's that upset about the lockout. Like the Mets, just the existence of the Mets is better than Nomets.
Nomets would drive him insane.

Speaker 5 But he wouldn't have anything to get that mad about.

Speaker 4 He needs that. It's true.
Yeah,

Speaker 4 he keeps him going. Also, one last thing was

Speaker 4 they have a document that they're reviewing. 359 pages.
That's insane.

Speaker 4 No one's read the whole thing. I'd give up.
If I were Max Serger, I'd be like, fuck this. I'm not doing this.

Speaker 5 I also read that the players drove cars through these negotiations, and some of the cars were expensive. They do.

Speaker 4 They are some

Speaker 4 guys who have some money now.

Speaker 5 I think the players

Speaker 5 have to walk on foot.

Speaker 5 They shouldn't have hotels either.

Speaker 4 They should have to ride donkeys. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 5 They should have to beg for money

Speaker 5 or hitch a ride in.

Speaker 4 No, the bus. They should have to take the bus.
Yeah, I'll take the bus. Take the bus.

Speaker 9 Cool Ranch Doritos. Sherizer was holding Cool Ranch Doritos at the meeting.

Speaker 4 Those are cheap.

Speaker 5 Those are like 39 cents a bag.

Speaker 4 Also makes some

Speaker 4 great taste. That's actually a great negotiating skill.
Like to go to a meeting like that. I feel like that's a cat-dog situation.
Like, are you a regular Doritos or a Cool Ranch guy?

Speaker 4 Cool Ranch being the cooler of the people.

Speaker 5 Great high stack. Yeah.
Cooler ranch. Especially when you dip it in salsa.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Billy, what was your article?

Speaker 9 I read Sports Illustrated, and then I saw that tweet about the Cool Ranch. All I got was players

Speaker 9 gave a substantive offer, and the owner's like, nah.

Speaker 4 Okay. Got it.
Good.

Speaker 4 I should add one more thing. I guess the owners want 14 playoff teams and the players want 12.

Speaker 4 Let's do 13.

Speaker 4 Why not? Every year, yeah, one side gets a team. One side gets

Speaker 4 meet in the middle. Depends on the year.

Speaker 5 This year, the National League gets 17.

Speaker 4 Whoever wins the all-star game. There you go.
Yeah. Yeah.
It means more.

Speaker 4 Jake.

Speaker 4 Yeah, in addition to what you guys said, Monday will be the eighth consecutive

Speaker 4 bargaining session. I've got to think once they enter like the fifth or the sixth, they're like, all right, what are we doing here? Let's just play the game.
Right. Like, come on.

Speaker 4 It doesn't work like that. But no, eight straight days, like Hanukkah.

Speaker 4 Exactly like Hanukkah, but no gifts. No gifts and no candles.
Yes. And Hank? I read an article on BlueBird.com.

Speaker 8 John Hayton said.

Speaker 4 Is that a new website?

Speaker 8 Contradictory to all the negativity upset surrounding the MLB players talks. One person involved said he believes the sides are now within striking distance and a deal could be done by tomorrow night.

Speaker 8 This was on the 27th of this morning.

Speaker 5 Striking distance is an interesting choice of words there.

Speaker 8 Luxury tax remains a sticky issue, but a 225, 230 million threshold should work. And then Zach Britton, who's a player in the Yankees and is in the meetings, replied and said, this is not accurate.

Speaker 4 So we're not close.

Speaker 5 A lot of misinformation on that.

Speaker 4 It's tough, yeah. Was that, oh, Bluebird,

Speaker 5 that's the bird app.

Speaker 5 You're talking about the bird app.

Speaker 4 Where the empaths

Speaker 4 go every day.

Speaker 5 Would you consider yourself to be an empath, Hank?

Speaker 4 Absolutely. Oh, 100%.
You are. Sometimes I need to take a break.

Speaker 4 For the most part,

Speaker 8 I'm like probably

Speaker 8 75% empath. And then, you know, I have to take a break sometimes.

Speaker 4 From caring too much.

Speaker 5 Yeah, me too. Because I'm such a good person

Speaker 5 that sometimes it hurts to care so much. Yeah.

Speaker 5 A struggle only few will understand.

Speaker 4 This is just a totally unrelated thing, but take, my son understands take a break. So anytime I want to go check my scores or something, I'm like, I'm taking a a break.
He's like, oh, okay, cool.

Speaker 4 Can you take a break? Dad, take a break. I'm like, yeah, I'm taking a break.
I had to take a break. Kentucky just hit a three in my fucking face.
I'm taking a break. All right.

Speaker 4 It's just a little break. But yeah, empaths out there.
Shout out. The real ones.
So we're not going to have baseball.

Speaker 5 I think Hank just said that we're within striking distance.

Speaker 4 Nope.

Speaker 4 Zach Britton said no.

Speaker 5 Yeah, but Hank reported that they are.

Speaker 4 What if Zach Britton was saying, this is not accurate? We're closer than striking distance. True.
We're in a phone booth. We're Bernard Hopkins.

Speaker 5 It sounds like you, yeah.

Speaker 4 Everyone out there that thinks that Zach Britton was saying the opposite you're actually putting words in his mouth baseball if baseball doesn't start the season and play a full season they're gonna learn very quickly that they they they miscalculated like the world's need for baseball like I'm thinking about it right now even when the NBA started late we football was going on so it was like okay football's the only league where if they didn't start on time people would riot if baseball doesn't start for a month i'll be i'll be like oh this sucks i want baseball But I wouldn't notice fully until like late June and be like, where the fuck is my baseball?

Speaker 5 You're not a seam head like I am. I love opening week of baseball.
But if they really wanted to do it right, they would just have opening week and then they would institute the lockout then.

Speaker 4 Right, because I get and then bring it back after the 4th of July. Yeah, no, opening day is great.

Speaker 4 And I love baseball in the summer, but if you're like telling me that there's not going to be baseball while we're watching March Madness, it's going to be hard for me to be be like, damn, where's the baseball?

Speaker 4 So

Speaker 4 that's the problem they run into. I will get pissed by the end of June.
I'll be like, where the fuck is my baseball?

Speaker 5 Yeah, instead of like figuring out all this shit about designated hitters and which games start extra innings with the runner on second base, that's like Manfred's favorite thing to do.

Speaker 5 Just to continue, be like, okay, we'll give you another designated hitter.

Speaker 4 Is that back this season? I don't know.

Speaker 5 I can't keep track of this.

Speaker 4 Forget it. Oh, yeah, no, it's universal DH.

Speaker 5 They roll. Oh, the extra innings.

Speaker 4 Oh, the extra innings? No. I don't know.
I don't know either. I'll look.
Who knows?

Speaker 4 All right, let's wrap up. Billy, you got some of these

Speaker 4 final deaths? They're all

Speaker 4 pretty grim. Well, we're doing buttons.
This is buttons. This is buttons.

Speaker 4 It's not us.

Speaker 5 They were too chicken shit to do their own articles, so we're doing it.

Speaker 9 I found some good ones, though. So this is a Reddit post.
So this happened a couple of years ago. We had an ex-gang guy who was dying of cancer, and he confessed that he was the gang.

Speaker 4 None of these have been vetted, by the way, just a heads up.

Speaker 9 For many years. He went to confess to all the killings and showed the police where the bodies are buried.

Speaker 9 He would get closure knowing that the surviving families of his victims find out where they are buried. We had to get to the hospital legal team involved because we had no policies to deal with that.

Speaker 9 Cops got involved, and the dude confessed to gang murders from decades ago.

Speaker 5 I gotta say, like, drawing a map on your deathbed is pretty fucking cool. Yeah, that is.

Speaker 4 Also, all these I just assume are made up.

Speaker 5 Can you imagine like you're laying down and then you draw like a giant X and you're like, here you go.

Speaker 4 It's under this tree.

Speaker 9 Most of them are just like,

Speaker 9 okay, then there was this one.

Speaker 4 Sorry. Did everyone be like, I farted?

Speaker 9 When I was 16, I worked as a dietary aide in a pretty nice nursing home. There was this one older gentleman that I became pretty good friends with.

Speaker 9 He always talked about World War II and how he had lost so many guys in his company. Several days in a row, I had noticed that he wasn't coming down to the dining room for lunch or dinner.

Speaker 9 Went to his room to check on him, and he wasn't there. The nurse said that he had a spell and fell out of his bed.
His doctor wanted him to go to the hospital for observation.

Speaker 9 What had really happened is he had a stroke. He got back to the nursing home about a week later and he really couldn't remember anyone except for me.

Speaker 9 We talked the day after he got back and he told me he wasn't doing good. He knew this, he knew his time was coming to a close.

Speaker 9 Said it was time for him to pay for all the horrible things he had done when he was over in Europe. He wasn't a religious man, but he asked me where I thought he was going.

Speaker 9 I said to bed because it's getting close to lights out. He said, no, no, Joe.
By the way, my name is Mike. I mean up or down.

Speaker 9 Now, I'm not a deeply religious person either, but I said, Martin, that's not for me to say. He laughed and said, I know where I'm going.

Speaker 9 There's only one place for people who have done what I've done. I've killed so many people, Joe.
Most of the time, it didn't matter who it was. We went into buildings just shooting.

Speaker 9 There's only one place for me. It's what I deserve.
I had absolutely nothing to respond with. When I say that, the experience shook me to the core, I really mean it.

Speaker 9 That man's face is burned into my memory because of that conversation. He passed away the next day.
His son kept asking where Joe was at. I quit that day.

Speaker 9 Working in a nursing home is a haunting place. It takes a special type of person to be able to watch people just die around you.

Speaker 4 They make great BuzzFeed

Speaker 4 editors.

Speaker 4 Yeah, we should probably not do this. Yeah, it gets worse.

Speaker 4 It's heavy. So maybe it was good that they deleted the tweet.

Speaker 5 I think I've just realized that I want to learn a really, really good joke.

Speaker 5 And just like the ultimate going out on a high note, just on my deathbed, I'll just say, I'll say the joke that I've been rehearsing my entire life, yeah, and then people will laugh and then I'll just die, and it'll be it.

Speaker 5 Standing ovation for the joke, yeah,

Speaker 4 what if they didn't like the joke?

Speaker 4 I don't have to stick around to hear it, yeah, but that would suck if you died and everyone's like, damn, that joke sucked. All right, that's our show.
We'll see everyone on Wednesday.

Speaker 4 Wednesday, we have Duncan Robinson and Aiden Hutchinson, two for the Michigan, yeah, Wolverines stand up numbers 46,

Speaker 4 22. 25.

Speaker 4 61.

Speaker 4 I like the conviction there, PFD, or like the hesitation, like, ah, it's going to be a 61. Oh, 63.
You're close.

Speaker 4 93, 93, 93, 90. You were not close.
Felt good.

Speaker 5 Love you guys.

Speaker 9 Chernobyl has become a great place for endangered European megafauna due to humans not being in the area.

Speaker 5 Did it just get taken by the city? Nature is healing. Yeah, the Russians captured Chernobyl.
Yeah, but there's nothing there. Except for sick plants.

Speaker 4 No. Animals.

Speaker 9 Megafauna.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 9 Right. So they conquered a bunch of bears and European bison.

Speaker 5 So now they've got an army of bears.

Speaker 5 Gang. Love you guys.

Speaker 4 I'm getting there.

Speaker 4 When you

Speaker 4 masturbate, think about my tongue.

Speaker 4 Oh,

Speaker 4 your clit is switching back and forth.

Speaker 4 Switching back and forth from my dick to my

Speaker 4 tongue

Speaker 4 Dick to my

Speaker 4 tongue

Speaker 4 Switching

Speaker 4 back

Speaker 4 and forth

Speaker 4 From my dick to my tongue

Speaker 4 I'm getting there

Speaker 4 when you bastard beat, think about my tongue.

Speaker 4 Oh,

Speaker 4 your clip and switching back and forth,

Speaker 4 switching back and forth from my dick to my

Speaker 4 tongue,

Speaker 4 dick to my tongue, dick to my

Speaker 4 tongue,

Speaker 4 switching

Speaker 4 back and forth

Speaker 4 from my magic to magic.