Charissa Thompson And Erin Andrews Plus Post Vacation Recap Of Everything We Missed

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we are back from vacation. We got a lot to catch up on.
We also have an awesome interview with Carissa Thompson and Aaron Andrews. We went to Aaron Andrews' office, Super Bowl week.
Great interview, great talk with both of them. And her dog was there too.
Her dog was there. Yes, it was a great time.

Beautiful. we went to Aaron Andrews' office, Super Bowl week.
Great interview, great talk with both of them. And her dog was there, too.
Her dog was there, yes. It was a great time.
Beautiful, beautiful office. We're going to talk LeBron.
We're going to talk Aaron Rodgers. We've got NBA All-Star Weekend.
A ton of stuff. Juwan Howard.
Speaking of Juwan Howard, actually, we're going to get right back to the show. Mom, what happens at the end of Goldilocks? Well, the bears were too nice to kick Goldilocks out, but they wanted her to find her own place.
So they told her about Redfin. But I thought...
Redfin updates its listings every two minutes and gives personalized recommendations. So Goldilocks found something that was just right for her.
And lived happily ever after?

Yep, in a cute house by the beach.

With no bears.

Download the Riffin app to get started.

Equal Housing Opportunity, C-A-D-R-E, number 01521930.

Alright, back to part of my take.

Boy!

Now in the street there is violence. And I'm not allowed to solve the work to be done.
We'll be it higher. Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue.
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Today is Wednesday, February 23rd. Tan everywhere.
Jan everywhere. We're back from vacation.
Credit to us for taking a vacation. Way to go, boys.
We're back. We just got a little hard reset on our bodies.
It does feel... Vacations rock.
Hank was right. Yeah.
No, they do. And we'll do our vacation FAQs at the end and talk about our vacations.
But it's also awesome to take a vacation right after the Super Bowl because you feel like a football player. You're like, yeah, long season.
Got a break. It was funny.
So I was on a beach and there were at least three guys that I saw and I was like, you know, I think that guy's actually on the Cowboys. Yeah.
And I was like, yeah, I'm at the same place. is where we all go yeah after a long season to recharge the battery a little bit gotta help our bodies here for a second um but yeah we will do vacation talk and FAQs at the end of the show we also have Carissa Thompson and Aaron Andrews coming up but we got to recap some things we missed a lot of things uh where should we start we can start with LeBron we can start with Aaron.
We can start with Juwan Howard's anger management. What do you guys want to start with? I feel like the Juwan Howard thing is the hottest story going right now.
Okay. So what was your, I've given my take on multiple platforms.
I obviously, I was watching the game live. It was awesome to watch because it was like, not only do we beat Michigan, but then Juwan Howard lost his cool in such a hilarious, outrageous way.
He smushed Badger legend Joe Cravenhoff in the face, who's one of my favorite Badgers. That's the debate.
Was it a punch? Was it a slap? It was a smush. Was it a smush? It was a smush.
He smushed him. A smush is different.
A smush is about four games. That sounds about right for a smush.
I think if it was a punch, you'd probably say the rest of the season. Also, if the punch connects, I think that makes a big difference too.
But a smush, that's a soft four games. Is your take on it that you think that Juwan Howard has an anger problem? Yeah, because he's a repeat offender.
He is. So he had that.
He also claimed last year that Mark Turgeon, who's no longer the Maryland head coach, but was at the time, was coming at him, and he had to defend himself. Now, Juwan Howard...
I think he also said, I'm going to fucking kill you. Yeah, he said I'm going to fucking kill you.
He got kicked out of that game. He had...
There was a little incident with his players at Rutgers in January. He's gotten some weird technical fouls where he's like, yelled at people.
And the Greg Guard, he said that he was defending himself because Greg Guard put his hands on him. I've likened Greg.
I love Greg Guard. I've turned around on him a couple of years ago.
It was actually right before COVID hit where he turned that team around. Alondo Tucker tried to ruin Badger basketball.
Greg Guard's our savior. Greg Guard, like the nicest you could say about greg guard and his his like fit his physique is i likened him to the guy that you talk to when you go to enterprise and they give you like a mid-size suv and you ordered a large suv he's that kind of energy like he might he might sign you up for a life insurance plan really quick he might do your taxes he's not exactly a guy be like oh man i'm shaking in my boots he's gonna beat up juan howard he's not threatening he gives off the same vibe as like a shift manager at a mid-tier chain restaurant yeah you know like he can get some stuff done he can no he's the whole manager he can he can get you some yeah he can get you some coupons yeah but anything above that he's gonna have to escalate it up it up to corporate.
I agree that Greg Gard is maybe the least threatening person in college basketball. Juwan Howard hit him with an excellent finger point, too.
Right in his face. That's almost worse, I would say, than the smush.
The finger point where the tip of the finger is on the other guy's nose, that's the most emasculating thing that you can do. And credit to Greg Gard for not escalating it from there, because he could have beat the fuck out of Juwan Howard.
He decided not to. He was about to.
Which I was happy that he didn't because I didn't want him to get suspended. I did see people saying like, you know, we should actually take time to acknowledge the fact that Greg Gard did a good job of de-escalating the situation.
It's like, yeah, Greg Gard was, he was really going to get out of here. He was going to be like the Tasmanian devil and start killing everybody.
There was a strong contingent of Michigan fans, who I think have simmered down a little bit, because I never thought Juwan Howard should get fired. I never thought it should have been some big, oh, my God.
I really do think he just needs a nap. Yeah, you needed somebody to have that take, though.
I'm glad that people had the take, the reactionary, fire this guy. Get him away from kids.
He's a bad influence. Black eye on sports.
Obviously, you say black eye on sports. Black eye on sports.
What I'm doing with this is I'm smashing the good for college basketball button. Oh, yeah.
I love this. And there are so many people out there.
I listen to several podcasts over the weekend because, once again, I am getting back into college basketball as i do this time of year every year and there are a lot of people being like this is a really ugly thing that happened and it's a shame that this is what our our sport is being reduced to for the first time all year college basketball was leading all the major sports tv shows and it's just it's ugly that it has to be about this no no no i'm smashing the good for college basketball button of course it is it's awesome for college it's the middle of february people are talking about wisconsin versus michigan that does not happen otherwise on all-star weekend yeah right it's great yes rivalries in college sports where it's always on the cusp of turning violent that's just good for the sport and nothing bad happened a couple of the players start throwing hands which i totally. If you see your coach throw a punch, you should have carte blanche to throw a punch after that.
Like imagine you're in practice with this guy every day. You're signed on to be part of his team.
You believe everything that he says. You're lining up behind him.
If he throws a punch, it's like, okay, we're fighting now. Our whole team's fighting.
I don't have a problem with the players getting into into it they probably did deserve to be suspended for a game just because you can't like let people punch willy-nilly but like a slap on the wrist was absolutely appropriate and now i'm loving that it's turned into debate about the handshake line in general well so so there was a handshake yes so there were a lot of i love the handshake line if you don't have the handshake line you don't have moments like tom crean Crean's blow-bys or Coach K deciding to coach Dylan Brooks in a losing effort. Those things happen in the handshake line.
Coach Harbaugh and Jim Schwartz pinching each other's nipples. Right, exactly.
So these things like college coaches are bad losers, and I want to see it in the handshake line. Like, at the end of the day, this was about Jawan Howard needing a win very badly in Madison, not getting it, and being really upset.
That's all it was about. You could pretend it was the timeouts and this and that.
No, he was mad that his team didn't perform well in the second half, and Johnny Davis is a stud. But the handshake, there was a contingent of michigan fans who were like greg guard escalated never put your hands on another man which is hilarious because it's literally the handshake line yeah like that's when you're going there to put your hands on each other's hands yep to touch hands um docking even had even had uh uh deadspin weigh in with uh the the line was, Whiteness wins again.
Greg Gard didn't get suspended. Was that like 400-year streak? I don't know what.
I don't know what. Like, Greg Gard didn't.
He, like, grabbed him by the elbow to explain it. No, that was.
It's ridiculous that somebody would reduce it to that. Juwan Howard did throw the smush.
And he also came in hot saying, I won't forget that. I won't forget that.
And if you look at what happened, what led up to it was Juwan Howard decided to press at the end of the game. On backups.
On backups. And then Wisconsin called a timeout so that they wouldn't get an eight-second violation.
Ten-second. You're still getting back into college basketball.
I'm still in NBA mode, obviously. But yeah, they had to call a timeout so they wouldn't get called for a ten-second violation.
And then Juwan Howard got mad that they called the timeout because he was pressing. Correct.
And it also goes back to the stupid net rankings, which is the dumbest thing that college basketball does where they're going to decide quad one and quad two wins and losses, and it actually matters how much you win and lose by. Yeah.
I love the quad one wins. It's a good quad one win for this program.
Yes. But credit to Juwan Howard.
He's very good at apologizing. Well, not immediately.
Not immediately. He said he was threatened.
Yeah. But in the updated one, I thought his apology hit all the right notes.
I like the fact that these coaches are getting mad, but please don't take away our hands our handshake line no there's a lot of stuff that we do just in life that we probably don't have to do and it probably leads to bad situations but we still do it anyway because it's beautiful and fun dollar long island iced tea night yeah that starts a lot of fights too but it also teaches us valuable life lessons yeah about how to carry yourself as an adult yeah eating chili past 7 p.m exactly we

still do like this taco bell at midnight it's not pretty but yeah i'm all in favor of these

little skirmishes did you see uh so the wisconsin ad chris mcintosh i loved his statement he he

came out and fully supported greg guard he said it's not greg guard it's not a greg guard fine

he got fined ten thousand dollars he said it's a wisconsin fine we're gonna pay for it it's a

program like that's like it is when these things actually happen usually everyone's got to be like oh i'm so sorry i'm so sorry it's like no no great guard really didn't like okay he grabbed him by the elbow if that is if that's the start of if grabbing someone i like him to if grabbing someone by the elbow in a handshake line started a fight, Coach K would have gotten his face smushed 10,000 times in his career.

Like, that's just a fact.

How sick would that be if somebody just punched Coach K in the face

in a handshake line?

Yeah, that'd be great.

It's been great, though.

I've loved every second of it because I had, like, the rare,

not only am I on the right side of history, but my team won.

So it's like, it's just the whole thing has been awesome.

Yeah, I don't think anybody with an objective set of eyes looks at what happened and they're like you know what greg guard was really the instigator in this i think it's pretty obvious juan howard instigated he did tell him stop touching me he said several times stop touching me but that's that midwestern niceness by greg guard he just could he just had to grab his own to keep touching him juan howard just should have said, oop, let me scoot by you there real quick. Yeah.

And then it would be all fine.

It's, yeah.

And at the end of the day, I did not think Juwan Howard should be.

I do think he should probably see better help.

Because he does have.

Their defense needs to see better help.

Yes.

They have some anger problems.

Well, Johnny Davis is that good.

But it was great for college basketball.

All right.

Next topic.

What do we want to do?

LeBron, Aaron Rodgers. Suck Bron.
Suck brawn suck all-star weekend all-star weekend was awesome i only watched highlights i didn't actually watch anything live i was watching the dunk contest at a bar and everyone was like this sucks i heard it was terrible it was really really really bad and walked away during the dunk contest yeah and people say that it got it's you know it's been bad for a while but 2016 2016 was the best dunk contest of all time. It's not that far removed from that.
You just need guys to want to try and want to be part of it. And it's like, I don't know.
I mean, there's a real simple answer for all this. It's actually a good segue for LeBron because LeBron ruined the dunk contest by never doing it, thus setting the precedent for the best players to never do it.
He ruined it by saying he was going to do it too. You remember that? Yeah.
And then just never did it? I think what they should do, they should just put a shitload of money in the pot for the winner of the dunk contest. Yeah.
It's very simple. Just get a big sponsor, get everybody to pitch in, and be like $2 million to the winner of this.
No, do even better. Do better than $2 million.
Be like, if you win the dunk contest, you're eligible for a seven-year Supermax. Or a free agent.
Yeah. You can win your free agency.
That would be cool, too. Like a 10-day contract.
Bring in the YouTube dunkers. Yeah.
Mixing. You get paid whatever John Wall's getting paid right at this moment.
That'd be sick. That would be awesome.
What is John Wall? Is he alive? Are we sure? $47 million. Well, I had somebody's eyes on John Wall.
That's why LeBron was very upset, because LeBron wanted the Lakers to trade for John Wall. I don't know where we even want to start with LeBron.
He put on a tour de force. I'll give you a couple quotes.
One was he said, it's like Cleveland has three All-Stars this weekend, talking about Jared Allen and Darius Garland and LeBron, even though he's not on the Cavs. But it is like Cleveland had three All-Stars.
He also said, talking about Luka, he said, I love everything about his game. I love everything about him.
The way he plays reminds me of my game. Yes, yes.
Great compliment. That's awesome.
Great compliment. And then LeBron, so LeBron basically spent the entire weekend just making everyone in the Lakers front office and anyone who's on the Lakers roster feel like shit.
So he wanted to trade Russell Westbrook at the trade deadline. They were like, no, LeBron, because you literally wanted Buddy Heald.
You made us get Russell Westbrook. I don't think that people give enough credit to LeBron for being such a shitty general manager.
Yes. He's actually not good at it.
But in another way, he's very good at it in that Russell Westbrook was the perfect guy for LeBron to get on the team to be like, this is why we're bad. Right.
Because of him. Right.
And so he went to Cleveland. He complimented Sam Presti, the Oklahoma City GM.
He was like, he's the MVP of the Thunder. He went cross sport.
He complimented Les Snead. He said, that's my type of guy because Les Snead traded all his picks for a super team.
And then the best was he complimented Colby Altman, the GM of the Cavs, who he hated in 2017 and 18 with all the Kyrie stuff and he wanted to trade all the picks for his current talent. He's doing a great job basically leaving the door open for him to come back to Cleveland, but he said he'd only come back for a max deal.
Well, he also said never say never. Never say never.
He's not closing the door on Cleveland. But he'd come back for a max deal if they drafted Bronny.
Well, no, he'd come back for – that's going to happen in a few years. So that's a whole separate thing.
He's going to be – this summer he has an extension that he can sign, which he probably won't. So he might try to come back to Cleveland sooner than later.
But the best part about the coming back to Cleveland and complimenting Colby Altman, and he's like he built a great team and what they've done. the reason why they built such a great team is because they just didn't listen to LeBron in 2017 and 18 LeBron wanted to trade all the picks for current LeBron and they're like no fuck that you're probably gonna leave anyway and then they got Darius Garland with a pick they got uh Okoro with a pick they got Evan Mobley with a And they traded a pick for Jared Allen.
So literally the entire team is built because they're like, LeBron, we're not letting you be the GM anymore. And then he comes back and he's like, that GM's really good.
Even though he did the opposite of everything I wanted. You think that there's a chance that LeBron is playing like seven dimensional chess right now and he's trying to fuck up the Lakers roster so badly that they will be in a position to draft brawny so then he goes back to cleveland and then he comes back to la to play with brawny i there he he might be yeah yeah you might be right he's already played with his dad delante west now he wants to play with his son you got that one ready to go no that's that's off the dome people don't talk about that whole thing enough yeah well delante west it's not been not been great.
That's true. I hope he's well.
Yes, I hope he's well, too. I think he had a good update recently.
I saw a video of him working out, yeah. Yeah.
Just shooting around in the gym. Yeah.
Looked good. That's like a prime NBA Twitter meme.
Yeah. Anytime you have LeBron, it's like, let's throw in a Delonte West.
Don't let that distract you from the fact that Golden State blew a 3-1 lead. There we go.
There it is. We have forgotten about that one.
Skull emoji, skull emoji. Who did this, fam? But yeah, LeBron put on an unbelievable performance all weekend and also hit the game-winning shot, which I hate the Elam ending.
That's so stupid. And that's not because I thought that the game could go over, but it didn't because that stupid fucking math.
Yeah, there's too much math involved at the end of the game. I don't like that.
It ends with a shot. It's like, no.
Give me a clock. Just play the game.
I understand a clock. It counts down.
When it all hits zero, that's the end of the game. It's easy enough.
What were you going to say, Hank? There was also a lot of good moments from the NBA 75 ceremony. MJ came.
Everyone was kind of showstopped the crowd. Everyone and was like taking pictures with him.
He got a bigger pop than LeBron. Yep.
In Cleveland, just saying. Also, the clip of him saying to Magic, put on your shoes.
Let's play one-on-one right now. And everyone in the room, did you see this clip? No.
Everyone in the room's laughing. And then it cuts back for one split second at the end to MJ.
And he's dead serious. He like no no i want to play one-on-one right that doesn't sound like something yeah yeah that there's a clip of uh paul pierce and kg standing next to each other and they introduce ray allen and they just stiff him like they don't talk to him at all lebron comes up and like embraces him and kg literally like looks the other way he was so mad that was that was petty funny that was and then Dennis Rodman, there's a picture of the Banana Boat crew.
It was LeBron, Chris Paul, Dwayne Wade, Carmelo Anthony, maybe Seth Curry too, taking a picture on the stage. And Dennis Rodman got caught up basically.
He was up there but didn't want to be up there. And it's just standing there.
Dennis Rodman being like, what am I supposed to do? And they're like, you have to take a picture. So we got in.
Dennis Rodman had the vibe all weekend,

if you saw any of the clips,

of everyone basically said to themselves,

I don't want to be caught talking to Dennis Rodman

for more than 30 seconds,

because North Korea is going to come up

and he's going to say some weird shit.

So everyone was doing a quick,

like, hey, Dennis, and then keep on walking.

Yeah, no, Dennis is,

you should go back and listen to the interview

that we did with Dennis Rodman a few years ago.

He made a lot of sense. Yeah, it made a ton of sense.
Wait, Carmelo wasn't on the banana boat, though, was he? He was like – wasn't he like the last man out? No, remember? We said he wasn't, yeah. He's still on the banana boat crew, though.
He is. He's in the banana boat cinematic universe.
Yes, yes, yes. What were you going to say, Billy? He was on the beach.
That's right. Yeah, that's right.
He said he was on the beach. So, yeah, I mean, the All-Star game, like, Steph was incredible.
I don't know. How pissed were those guys that they had to go out and party in Cleveland? Carl Anthony Towns winning the three-point contest is kind of impressive.
What were you going to say, BFC? Just like if you're an All-Star in the NBA, maybe you're a first-time All-Star, and you get voted into the game, and it's in Cleveland. That's got to kind of suck, right? I think they have a good time no matter what.
What do they do? They go to that casino? No, they go to fucking Dante's Club. Yeah, true.
Forward. There's a good B-dubs there, too.
Yeah, Cat winning the three-point contest was great just because then everyone can be like, Cal didn't let him shoot threes, which is always fun. Also, I think MJ has a party every All-Star game that he rents out a huge warehouse.
Yeah, that's crazy. I imagine the entertainment's got to be pretty good at that party yeah I feel like you they they have still have a very good time where would the funniest place for Bronny to be drafted be well Boston Boston would be funny and it's it's a no-brainer Boston Utah would also be funny Utah would be funny can't drink drink wine.
Sacramento. Boston would be – Yeah, I mean it would be – People's heads would explode.
Mine included. Hank, when I saw that quote – But I would have to be a fan.
When I saw that quote, I was like, oh, that's kind of cool because you can't hate on LeBron wanting to play with his son even though his son's probably not a first-round draft pick and he should probably be in college for two or three years, but he's going to stun his growth, even though that.

But then I immediately was like, fuck, what if he comes to the polls

and I have to root for LeBron in a farewell season?

Because that's the thing.

It's not just LeBron.

It's LeBron's farewell season.

Yeah, Bronny Jr. is probably going to not even want that.

Dude, I do think it's cool.

I think LeBron's a good dad, except for the times when he makes his daughter drink wine. It tastes like rocks.
It makes her eat rocks. Yeah, eat rocks.
I do think, though, like... And he teaches him cultural appropriation of tacos.
Yes. It probably is going to suck a little for Bronny Jr.
It's like Lonzo Ball, but way worse. Yeah, because he's not...
And again,, there's no knock on him cause he's a kid. But like, if you, if, if you see any of the draft projections or watch him play, it's like, he's good.
He's not lottery pick good, but someone's going to spend a big, like they're going to do a first round pick on them cause they can then get LeBron and then LeBron's going to retire. And the team's gonna be like, wait, we tanked for Bronny.
Wait,, you're not that good. Yeah.
I hope he's better, but there's a chance it could really suck for Bronny. Well, then what they're going to have to do is make LeBron the GM.
Or own the team. Or own the team, yeah.
Yeah. There's a small chance it could suck for Bronny, where he plays a full year with LeBron, and then LeBron retires, and he's like, uh.
He's got to grow. I wish I had stayed in college.
Okay. I'm officially rooting for LeBron to go to the Celtics.
That would be so funny to watch. I'm not, but it would, I can acknowledge that it would be funny because I literally don't know what I would do.
I think it's going to end up being like a, uh, team of smaller market team that is doing it because they're like, we get to sell out for a year. Is he going to want to go to play for MJ? Charlotte? That would be great.
The two goats on the same franchise? I could see him go into like, yeah, maybe New Orleans. Zion's probably going to eat himself out of the league.
Remember Zion? Yeah, I'm convinced that LeBron is doing something with Zion behind the scenes right now. I like watching Zion.
I love watching Zion. I just wish he'd pick up CJ McCollum's phone calls.
It's rude. I think Sacramento is probably like...
I could totally see Sacramento. Like, hey, we're going to sell tickets for a year.
This will be sick. I don't think he'd do it, though.
I think he would pull a power play. Oh.
And he'd be like an Archie Manning to his way, way worse son. And be like, you're not going to draft my son and then get me.
Right. You have to trade that pick to somebody.
Yeah. All right.
I mean, it's going to be whatever it's going to happen. I think I was on with my guys Waddle and Sylvie Day.
They posed a question. Over, under one and a half teams that LeBron plays for for the rest of his career? Like, besides the Lakers.
Over. I think it's over.
I think it's under. I think he's going to go to Cleveland and then he's going to make the Cavs draft Bronny.
You think so? Yeah. Even though Kobe Altman has kind of flexed on him, like, just not listening to him.
I think that's going to happen. I think Dan Gilbert is still going to do it.
And if the Cavs make a run this year, like, do you even want LeBron? That's the thing. I wouldn't.
Especially if he wants a max feel. I'm the number one Cavs fan on this podcast.
You are. Keep this team the way it is.
It's fun to watch. LeBron would ruin everything again.
He did take them to a championship. One.
Their first one ever. Draymond Green.
That was bullshit. If he didn't't kick who'd you kick in the nuts should it was that you know incidental people incidental contact yeah it was total incidental all right let's do um we're gonna get right back to the show hear that it's spring fest savings calling your name only at lowe's right now get a free select ego 56 volt battery when you buy a select ego trimmer blower or mower plus get your choice of any two bags of miracle grow organic soil mix for only 16 shop these can't miss deals in store or online today Lowe's we help you save valid through 4-.
While supplies last. Excludes Hawaii.
All right. Back to part of my take.
All right. Last one.
Aaron Rodgers. I hope he's happy.
I fell for it again. So Aaron Rodgers is just, he loves people asking the questions.
He just giggled at me. Is he going to retire? The picture that he put up, that was Randall Cobb and Devontae Adams with a gap in between them.
Did he Photoshop that? No, it was when he had COVID. Oh, okay.
This year. Which time? Yeah.
Jail. So he had everybody fooled because everyone was like, we've cracked the code.
And then he's like, I'm going to take some more time. Actually, if you don't believe my take that Aaron Rodgers is straight up macro doses, mushrooms, and LSD in the offseason go listen to his most recent interview joining here the 12 day yes give it to us billy the panchakarma cleanse which i don't know if he did all of this but under the panchakarma sort of thing they do it includes therapeutic vomiting oil embolisms okay laxatives basically with enema yeah they put it up they put stuff up to clear it out like a douche type thing he's been douching his butt yes yes and puking and all the holes and then putting like ghee which is butter up his nose bloodletting which is like cutting himself Medieval, yeah medieval yeah or leeches dude you could just call your parents yeah and then uh eating solely just rice veggies and ghee butter for 12 days this is it's just a classic thing like jack from twitter does rich people do this shit all the time whenever they get bored they just decide to take two weeks to make themselves feel uncomfortable because their life kicks so much ass all the time.
They're like, you know what? I'm going to live in a cave and butt funnel salt water for a fortnight, and I'm going to come back with some crazy ideas. Didn't Zuckerberg do something where he's like, I'm going to start raising the only thing I eat is things that I can kill with my hands.
I kill myself. Yeah.
And then he was just like, quit after a couple weeks.

Like, this sucks.

Rick Ross got a bull.

That was pretty hype.

That was actually sick.

That was just like a flex.

That's how to do it.

Yes.

That's how to do it.

But yeah, I fell for it.

I totally fell for it.

I woke up this morning.

He posted it late last night.

I woke up this morning.

I saw it.

I was like, today's the day.

Because I think the GM's got a press conference tomorrow. I was like like today's the day like because i think the gm's got a press conference tomorrow i was like today's the day aaron rogers out of my life i can't wait for this and just nothing happened he's the king of uh doing things like cryptically and then being like why is everyone looking into these things why why is the media making a big deal about this yeah no but the stuff he was doing was it was like very very intentional yeah i did like the message that he wrote on instagram though which is just like hey shout out to my uh my former fiance yeah i learned a lot thank you for letting me learn about you yes and so i guess all those rumors about her buying an apartment in pittsburgh and then rogers going to be a stealer next year.
Source was Jersey Jerry. Source was Jersey Jerry.

No, I heard it somewhere else.

There was somebody else that said that too.

Probably Jersey Jerry.

Probably Big Cat from Jersey Jerry.

Yeah, probably.

Yeah, it was probably a game of telephone.

I absolutely love the whole realtor sources scene.

That's my second favorite.

I think right behind tracking the private jets is knowing somebody whose wife works in real

estate in a city.

Oh, guess what? The fiance of the Green bay packers quarterback was looking for an apartment last week remember it wasn't the realtor though it was the chef oh that's right jerry said that there was a chef that was working for shaylene in pittsburgh and aaron rogers is on his way and we're like jerry i don't i don't think they're together anymore i think there might have been two sources. It might have been a chef and also a realtor.
Well, she had to rent an apartment. Yeah, that's true.
So I don't think that we know anything else about what his plans are. I don't know.
I was just operating under the assumption this whole offseason that he was not going to return to Green Bay. Going back to last year when he wanted to get out, you would think that he would want to get out by now, right? It's cold.
He doesn't like playing in the cold. But it's all going the other way now.
He said he was more positive leaving this year than last year. I think he probably had, maybe through putting butter up his asshole, he realized that the Packers actually have a really good roster.
Stopped complaining about it because the alternative is going to Denver and having to play Patrick Mahomes and Justin Herbert four times a year. That was a stupid idea that was getting thrown out there.
I understand that the Broncos are the team that you go to when you want to win a Super Bowl at the end of your career, but why would you want to go to that division right now? Right. Plus, they got Drew Locke, and he's sick.
Aaron Rod runners did apologize to me though so he did say um he wanted to apologize to all the people that got caught in the shrapnel when he made his covet comments and so he said to these people i just say i'm sorry i never meant to get you in the middle of it but you got into it by proxy because of your relation to me i think i consider myself part of that because i did that because I was dragged a little bit online when I was demanding he go to jail.

People were calling me Libcat, and they were getting upset about that.

So I apology accepted from Aaron Rodgers to me.

But still should be in jail.

Absolutely should still be in jail.

Until he retires.

I mean, it sounds like he's doing some really freaky shit.

He's not.

You got to get him in jail.

I feel like if you had a good relationship when the whole butter up the asshole

I don't know. until he retires i mean it sounds like he's doing some really freaky shit he's not the butter get him in jail i i feel like if you had a good relationship when the whole butter up the asshole thing started that's something that you that a solid rock solid relationship can probably tolerate for a week right and then after a full week when you've gone monday through sunday of having somebody assist you by putting was it fermented yak butter up your asshole up your asshole? Yep.
At that point, they're probably like, hey, can we try something else, like maybe a new hobby? Well, it really boils down to, like, it sounds like, and I don't want to talk about Aaron Rodgers' private life, but it does sound like he just might not have a lot of friends. Because I don't know, when I want to clear my head, hey, let's go on vacation, have a couple Coors cores light you could do that and and feel gratitude to the people in your life the same as putting butter up your asshole for 12 days yeah every rich person should just have somebody that hangs out with them they don't even really need to be friends just somebody that says like yeah that sounds crazy what are you doing just like a down a bringer down to earth guy it would be great if you could just do a rent aa-crew.
Yeah. And it's like, hey, these are your college buddies.
You got a Sully. You got a- Or just Tinder for bros.
Yeah. You got a Steve.
Meet up with somebody. Have a hang.
Maybe play pick up hoops. And then once you start floating the weird ideas about like, hey, I need a saltwater enema.
They're like, bro, there's a game on. Yeah, dude.
Let's play some beer pong. Exactly.
Right? Like like let's just hang out let's fucking have some fun let's let's flick each other in the dick that's what real bros do i still don't put butter up our ass we hit each other in the nuts real hard i still hope he leaves i just want to see aaron rogers in different uniform i think that'd be cool yeah uh i very much hope he leaves very very very much and it is crazy like i do think he just probably did this. What's it called, Billy? Panchakarma cleanse.
This is going to be a moment that hurts me to say, but he probably did the Panchakarma cleanse and was like, wait, I played the Vikings, the Lions, and the Bears? Why would I leave that? You get to kick our ass. I actually might want to get in on this, the Panchakarma cleanse cleanse it sounds like it put a good head on her shoulders yeah he started thinking he he he clearly wants back with his ex he that was that he definitely wants back with Shailene after the cleanse how do you do all this stuff and not die though I think they have someone watch like a lifeguard they were you need a trained professional yeah do it someone someone's ready to plunge your assholeunge your asshole for butter.
You need a spiritual guide. Yeah.
Yeah. A shaman.
Oh, no. He's starting to not breathe correctly.
Let's get... Better make his asshole bigger.
Let's get... Let's fucking get this Land O'Lakes out of his butt.
Before it gets too bad. All right.
That'd be all the time, though, if Aaron Rodgers accidentally killed himself by putting too much butter up his butt. I don't wish for that.
I just wish for him to go to jail. It's much different.
All right. That was a good recap.
Anything else we missed before we get to Hot Seat, Cool Throne? I think that was pretty much everything. It was good to be gone, and it was good to also see things happen and not be like, fuck.
we're missing so much, we've got to get back. Yeah.
You know what I mean? I think enough happened where it kind of piled up. Yeah, right, where it was like, ah, this is okay, fuck it.
Phil Mickelson is apologizing. Oh, yeah, Phil Mickelson.
He had an oopsie. Listen, we all make mistakes.
You know what he did? He yada, yada, yada'd Saudi Arabia beheading homosexuals. Yes, yes.

He was like, this is a whole thing they do.

He was like, listen, say what you want about their human rights violations

and also having 19 of the 20 hijackers on 9-11,

but they're going to pay me a shitload of money to go play golf over there.

So who's to say if the regime is truly bad?

Yes, yes.

Rory, I think, won everything when he said, I don't want to kick someone while he's down, obviously, but I thought Phil Mickelson was naive, selfish, egotistical, and ignorant. Good thing he didn't kick him when he was down.
So right now, the Super League in Saudi Arabia, have they tentatively signed Bryson? Bryson is involved, right? No, it's done.

It's done. Oh, they ended it?

Yeah, Bryson's out. Bryson announced that he was out.

I think he realized after Phil was

out that he was probably

he had to go. I love what a dumbass

Bryson is, that he finally gets

just a hair of public

sentiment on his side after the whole let's go

Brooksie thing. He does

the match, he kind of shows a little

bit of his personality, and

And then... just a hair of public sentiment on his side after the whole let's go brooksy thing he does you know the the match he kind of like shows a little bit of his personality and then he's like okay everyone's on my side i'm gonna go basically be an indentured servant for the saudi regime right now a shitload of cash yeah yeah it's win every tournament um all right uh let's do hot sequel throne that's it if there's a saudi shake that wants to do a podcast that wants a podcast exclusively get in touch with us.
Let's do hot sequel throne. That's it.
If there's a Saudi shake that wants to press that, wants a podcast exclusively, get in touch with us. Well, we'll use it as a negotiating tactic like Phil.
Yeah. The best way to use a negotiating tactic like that is just say it out loud like Phil did.
That wasn't very smart. He's like, oh, man, Phil.
I listened to an interview where he was like, yeah, Phil Mickelson is his own worst enemy at all times. Also, just as a general rule of thumb, you shouldn't be trusting professional athletes to get your geopolitical takes.

That's true.

That's a very good point.

Although he also said he pulled the classic.

It was out of context.

And I said it.

I thought I was saying it off the record.

Oh.

Well, yeah.

It was an off the record quote that was taken out of context. I like that.
The quote was in an unauthorized biography, I think. But I don't know how you take that quote, because he actually wrapped all the context in the world around that quote.
Yeah, he said it all. He's like, here's my plan.
He said, Saudi Arabia has a lot of things that give me pause, but it could also make me a lot of money. Right.
I think that's all the context that you need. Yeah.
He was like, I want to make more money. So that's why I'm cool with them.
Like killing a bunch of people. I disagree with them dismembering Washington Post journalists.
But if they want to sponsor a 17th hole hole in one challenge where I get $7 million if I get within 30 feet of the pen, then yes, sign me up. Yeah.
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Barstool Golf Time app now. Hank, hot seat, cool throne.
My hot seat are the Olympics. The Olympics have come and gone.
The average total audience was 11.4 million viewers for the 2022, and that's a sharp decline. In 2018, it was 19.8 million, which was the previous lowest ever.
Yikes. they had a serious decline from already a very low number.
I'm convinced it's the hockey. Like, it's hockey not having the pros and not having it as, like, a tentpole because they came and gone for me.
I literally was, like, drunk at a bar in Mexico, and I saw the closing ceremonies like, oh, that's interesting. And maybe it's a little bit of the Super Bowl going, you know, like longer and getting into that like two week stretch.
But yeah, I didn't watch a single. I don't watch a single event.
I bet on a curling match. Shout out Mr.
Rice. Real Mr.
Rice. Yeah.
But yeah,

they were nothing to me.

I agree. I think that if you're not going to have

the pros playing in the Olympics,

you at least need another... You need something

that catches people's eyes

and catches their attention. Because then you're drawn in.

If it's Bob Costas' pink eye.

Something as silly as that gets me

involved in the Winter Olympics. We did

watch some of the women's hockey. I watched the gold

medal game. I did watch that, yes.
Yeah, the gold medal game

unfortunately lost to those fucking Canucks. But overall, the only event worth watching, I thought, was the Double Luge.
Did you watch the Double Luge? No, I did not. You guys need to watch some highlights of the Double Luge.
It's the funniest event. I have no idea how it became a sport.
You know the Luge, you lay on your back, and then you go feet first down the ice? the double luge it's the funniest event i have no idea how it became a sport you know the luge you you lay on your back and then you go feet first down the ice the double luge is just you lay on your back on the sled and then another dude lays on top of you i like it just like stacked up and then he'd go down the ice and like the best of all time in the double luge or i think they're these lithuanian brothers that just grew up doing the double luge together the entire time. It's such a fucking funny event to watch.
Yes. I mean, I love those niche events.
It's like there's probably 100 people who do this in the world. So congrats.
It was like 15 years ago where I think the Winter Olympics really embraced some of the extreme sports and they added a bunch of stuff to it. Yeah, the X Games stuff.

They need some new sports in the Winter Olympics.

Maybe even switch some of the Summer Olympic sports

that don't need to be held in the summer.

Just throw the Winter Olympics a bone.

Either that or put them in a country that doesn't have civil rights abuses.

That'd be good, too.

Damn, PFT taking a stand on today's part of my take.

Sorry.

Listen, I went out on vacation.

I saw the world a little bit. Really opened my eyes..
U.S. Virgin Islands.
I've got some perspective. You're traveled.
All right. You're cool thrown.
I have another hot seat, if that's all right. Oh, yeah.
It's me. Myself is on the hot seat.
J.J. Watt thinks I hate him, and that's kind of scary.
You do. Well, no.
So this is what happened. You do.
We tweeted a clip. No, no.
Hank no there have been so many times when me and big cat have said nice things about jj watt and you're like you guys are so soft yeah i want to explain this because i did as again i was on vacation as well and i had a lot of time to do some reflection watching the sunset uh we tweeted a clip from friday or whatever it was wednesday show with tj watt talking about the watt family. We tweeted on Twitter and then JJ Watt responded to that clip saying, but does Hank still hate me? And I was thinking about it and it's not that I hate JJ Watt at all.
The reality of the situation is thinking back on this show a lot of funny times. Legitimately, the hardest I've ever laughed thinking about our group text this was way back when the uh hey jj was in its prime and we were talking about how we were gonna basically charity shame jj watt into coming on the podcast was the like the hardest i've ever laughed at you guys just going back and forth busting balls and the hey j segment was so funny.
So it's not that I hate J.J. Watt personally.

I just hate that that's not a thing anymore

because he's such a nice guy and whatever.

Well, also you got to move on from it.

I know, I know, I know.

But I don't hate J.J. Watt personally.

I miss those days a little bit.

But you realize that if we had stayed

doing the Hey J.J. thing,

we would have just become the world's biggest assholes. And also just lame would have been like wait you're doing this joke for six years yeah it'd be like if we brought back Harambe right never we killed him with that shirt sicko that would actually that summer was Harambe and uh hey JJ yeah it was just a perfect and it was great best summer of my life yeah it was sick summer dicks out for Harambe that was J.J.
Yeah, it was just a perfect. And it was great.
Best summer of my life. Yeah.
It was a sick summer. Dicks out for Harambe.
That was a goat summer. That was.
It was a good summer, yeah. But yeah, you do hate him.
We had the whole Russell Wilson, J.J. Watt discussion.
You're like, Russell Wilson's way worse. I mean, J.J.
Watt's way worse. I think you said Russell Wilson's way cooler.
Yeah. You did.
We had that whole. That had nothing to do with Hey J.J.
That's not a hate thing, though. No, J.J.
Watt's right. We stand with J.J.
Yeah, absolutely. Oh, hey, Hank.
Oh, no. Whoops.
Didn't mean to do that. Is that it, Hank? Cool throne.
I have a cool throne. Okay, go ahead.
It's drunk ideas. Oh, yeah.
Yeah. PFT, Big Cat came in, said he had one.
PFT came in, he said one. I said, hey.
Let's hear yours, PFT. Let's do them.
Yeah, mine. I think Hank will actually appreciate this drunk idea.
It's not really a drunk idea. It's a high idea.
But I wasn't high. I was on an airplane.
Got it. So, yeah, you were high.
I deal with some issues when I get on a plane. And I know that Hank deals with some of these, too.
I get the worst and bloating ever when I get on a plane. Whenever it goes up in the air, doesn't matter what I've had to eat.
Doesn't matter what I'm currently doing on that plane. If I'm like sleeping, if I'm awake, if I'm getting up to use a bag, no matter what, if I'm on a plane, my stomach feels like it's about to explode.
You're bagging potato chips. Yeah, exactly.
It's the air pressure. i think that changes in your stomach and there's nothing you can do about it you just you just have to fart and my idea was to get fart pants to invent fart pants and uh it would just consist of pants that were soundproof so you could wear them they were maybe like airtight you'd wear them you could bust ass because when i fart on on an airplane, it's never smelly.
It doesn't stink. It's just air.
And it's just super loud. Wait.
What happens with the airtight pants when the pressure? Yeah. They balloon up a little bit.
I don't know. Listen, I'm not a physicist.
It's like, hey, dude, are those fart pants? No. Why are they fucking so huge? You're poking holes in the pants.
This is the exact same thing. No, that's what we need is a literal hole in the pants.
It's the exact same thing that happened when I came up with the idea of pants that charge your cell phone in the pocket when you put them in there. There are a million reasons why it will never work.
No, I think it could work. We just got to figure it out.
It's a spoof for your butthole. Yeah, I'm not trying to naysay.
I'm trying to tell you, hey, when we go to shark tank let's have this not actually airproof yeah well okay this is actually good prep because oh yeah cubes is coming by yeah i'll have to sell them on fart pants now it might not even be airtight it might just be soundproof pants yeah it might have some of that stuff that you put on the walls and recording studios where you can just like sit there calmly fart and nobody knows about it what about uh like a gun silencer for your butthole? Yeah. You put it in your butthole, and it's just like, it's a gun silencer.
No, it's like, you ever smoke indoors when you put a bunch of tissue paper in the toilet paper thing? Maybe that's what you do. Just stuff a bunch of toilet paper in your ass? But for your butthole.
That's actually the prototype. Next time you go on an airplane, stuff a bunch of toilet paper in your asshole,

see how it goes, and then we go from there.

Yeah, I'm sure going through the x-ray machine

and that scanner, they're like,

oh, this guy's got a lot of stuff jammed up his ass.

You can do it after that.

You can do it in the, you know, in the airport bathroom.

I like the idea of, I think the pants.

I think that there's a place in the market for pants

that will deaden all sounds.

Yeah.

I also, this is unrelated but kind of related.

I was on a boat in Mexico, and I thought, I was very drunk, but I was like, if I ever

own a boat, how funny it would be to just name it the Fart Box.

That'd be pretty funny.

Like, people would just be like, what?

That'd be very funny, actually.

You want to hop on the Fart Box for a little Saturday afternoon drinking? How do people go about naming their boats? They can just call it whatever they want? Yeah, I think they just try to make it classy. But the fart box, like you would remember the fart box.
For sure. And you'd also, it'd be fun to get up, like, what'd you do this weekend? Had a hell of a time on the fart box.
So just some, no one steal that from me. Can you, they're not like horses, right? You can name boats anything.
Well, you can do Fart Box 2. Yeah.
Maybe I do Fart Box 2 and people are like, what happened to the first one? Yeah, you do Fart Box 1, 3, and 4. Everyone's like, wait, Fart Box 2 is out there somewhere.
My drunk idea wasn't even, well, I was drunk, but it was more of a full idea. I think restaurants should offer.
So it was a sober idea, but you were drunk. It was a drunk idea, but it was less about being drunk and more about being full.
But it was an idea you had when you were drunk. Correct.
But the drunkness wasn't what brought on the idea. The fullness was.
Got it. Restaurants should offer an oversized sweatshirt or even a blanket so that you can keep eating through that like oh man i'm full this like sucks period i think it actually remember when we went to dave and buster's and i was and i got a sweatshirt and i was like great now i can eat everything or just a smock yeah no it's like a giant tarp to a poncho yeah it's a blanket a smock or a or a sweatsh sweatshirt.
But a sweatshirt, you can then advertise your restaurant. So they walk out, they're like, hey, had a great time.
But it should be an option, like, right somewhere between, like, appetizers, maybe right after appetizers, like, sir, are you planning on eating past full? Well, yeah, always. Can we offer you this 3XL sweatshirt so that you can comfort to a black sweatshirt so it looks a little slimming and keep eating? Maybe it's got some pinstripes on it going vertically.
Keep eating. That's not a bad idea.
I think most buffet places should have Snuggies available. Yeah.
Because you need to take a quick nap in between your third and fourth plate. Same principle, which is, yeah, you can overeat, sees the bulge come out yeah i like it see i like you helping me i'm not offended by you fixing my idea so these like you were with my pants so the pants the pants could actually play a part in this sure where you can sit around farting while you eat yeah okay yeah you're just walking around in a moon man suit yeah why not just cover everything up i really do think i would eat so much because there you know that feeling when you're at the restaurant a nice restaurant maybe you got a button-down shirt you're dressed up and you're like do i really want to keep eating here yes because it's delicious but no because it sucks to be like so constricted give me a fucking sweatshirt i never feel more like you know that gif of cam newton where he does the okay it's time to go like when i'm super full at the end of a nice dinner and they're like you want dessert yeah and i'm like yeah you know what i can i can sack up and power through this i was i was actually getting hated on by the group i was with on vacation because every night we went out, I did the desserts and I just,

I literally was like,

do them all.

So every night we had like seven desserts.

Yeah.

That's a lot of desserts,

but it was great.

Every single time I ate two ice cream cones on the last night after eating a full dinner.

It was delicious.

Is that it,

Hank?

All right.

PFT,

your hot seat,

cool throne.

My hot seat is the queen.

The queen is on the hot seat.

I think she's 97 years old and she's got COVID, unfortunately. So everyone's watching.
Long time AWL. What's going to happen? Huge stoolie, the queen.
Thoughts, prayers up to her. I think she might be asymptomatic, but at that age, how can anybody know if you're asymptomatic? You're 97.
You probably are extremely symptomatic every day when you wake up of something.'re just old old um so we're we're keeping her in our thoughts and prayers right now do you do you think the queen though like i was thinking about this i covid can't be that bad compared to like everything she's been through in her life like her son is a pedophile that's pretty bad she's tough no she's. Tough, tough woman.
She's a tough cookie. I did learn a fun fact about the queen this weekend, though.
Yeah? Did you know that the queen technically owns every mute swan in the world? No, I didn't. What's a mute swan? It's like the white swans.
Oh, got it. The big white swans.
She is in charge of all those swans. Anywhere you see one, it belongs to the queen.
Damn. Yeah.
That is cool. Is that like Pablo Escobar's hippos? It might be.
Yeah, I'm curious who gets all the mute swans when she dies. The next queen.
Or king. No, it's king, right? It's William.
It's William. No, Harry disavowed.
Harry looks so much like Carson Wentz when he took that picture with the Super Bowl trophy. It's Charles.
Oh, yeah, it's Charles. You're right.
Charles. It's Charles.
It's Harry's dad. Harry and William's dad.
Oh, that guy's still alive? Yeah, Princess Di's old husband. Big ears.
Yeah. I thought he got disavowed.
Big ears, Charles. Yeah.
No, Andrew, because he's the pedophile. I thought Charles.
I think probably all are. Oh, yeah.
Charles did kind of because of the- They got divorced. Well, that and didn't he say some shitty things to William when he got married?

Oh, they were having the kid.

We're really.

No, but that's hair.

That's Harry.

Harry.

Harry.

Yeah.

He said things to him.

He might have said some fucked up shit.

But Harry's out.

But I don't think you can cancel the monarch.

They've done way worse comments.

They've done way worse shit.

Like, you want to think this is bad?

Don't go back through our real Twitter history. Yeah.
Yeah. so I think you're right.
I think it is Charles. Even though he got divorced, I think they changed that rule.
They changed that rule just for him. Yeah.
And then Harry disavowed, right? William would be the next. They should just skip Charles.
Yeah, they should. They should go to Little Kid.
Little Kid kings are awesome. When it's like five years old, it's like you're the king.
Yeah. You could actually give him power.
Yeah. Like serious power, like throwback power.
Yes. Where he could invade everything.
Yeah, he could invade countries and shit, start wars. I think we just did like the plot to season two of Game of Thrones.
I would watch, I mean, are you saying like if there was a reality show about a child king? Yeah. Think about the content.
Yes, the content would be incredible. The content would be great.
All right, and your cool throne? And then my cool throne is true love. So we didn't get a chance to talk about this last week, but on Valentine's Day, it's reported that Stefan Diggs treated himself to having two girls in the same hotel, but different rooms and didn't tell them that the other was also having their Valentine's Day.
And that's according to Wags Unfiltered. I'm pretty sure that's a credible source.
So yeah, he had two different girls in two different hotel rooms on Valentine's Day, and he managed to get away with it, which is incredible. That's like a sitcom situation.
Yes. Where he sprints back and forth, goes into one room, and calls the girl by the other girl's name accidentally then they meet each other in the hallway yes and then they like team up against him yes you're absolutely right it is it's like yeah it's uh like even stevens does that on valentine's day in like eighth grade i never watched that show so that was probably really wrong yeah but i mean this honestly sounds like a whole lot of work and i'm looking at the pictures of the hotel rooms that he has.
They make my setup in the Bass Pro Shop Pyramid look like challenge play.

Probably like 300 roses in each room.

That's just a lot of work.

That shows me good time management.

That shows me attention to detail.

He's doing it all.

I'm moving him up on my fantasy rankings for next year.

Yes, absolutely.

Stefan Diggs.

Way to go, dude.

Straightest receiver in the league besides DK.

Yes.

Yes. DK.
Wait, was DK in the news recently? Oh, no. He said Tyreek Hill.
He's faster than Tyreek Hill. I think that's wrong.
I wouldn't do that. In the 100, I think maybe.
Yeah, like Usain Bolt. In the 100.
Tyreek was so fucking fast in college and high school track. He ran an actual track.
Tyreek, short distance, 100%. But DK might beat him out.
In like a 200, 100%. This is good because we're negging him, so they have to do it.
I think Tyreek smokes him. The stride length.
Smokes him. In a 200.
Oh, wait. I'm looking up Tyreek Hill's stats.
He ran 109.98. Yes, yes.
That's pretty fast. He was so fast.
I think he ran in college even, but I know in high school he was so fast. He was one of those guys who could have done very well if he just went straight track.
Correct. Yeah, 9.98 is ridiculous.
I think DK's was like 10.4. So nice try, DK.
Never happened, bro. 10.400? Yeah, remember he competed last summer.
Yeah. It didn't go well.
All right. My hot seat is St.
Patrick's Day coming up. You got to buy your part of my take merch.
We got all new shirts. Parsel Sports Store's got everything in it.
Like, this is probably the last week you can buy it, right? Yeah. To get it in time? Yeah.
So do it. Buy, buy, buy.
You don't want to be wearing a green shirt on March 18th. No.

Look like a fool.

Also, hot seat Hank, because he just left, and I think he's got diarrhea.

Yeah.

He texted me.

He's got diarrhea.

He needs some of those pants.

That's confirmed.

Diarrhea.

Confirmed.

Anytime Hank just rushes out of the studio and then doesn't come back for 15 minutes,

actually, let's call him real quick.

Stomach in shambles.

It's always.

Text me when they start doing ads. All right.
I'm going to call him, and hey we're about two ads where are you all right i mean that's what it always is whenever hank leaves just abruptly he's got a butt issue oh i hear the skateboard damn boarding back down i hear this oh we didn't find out about his best man speech. Oh, he said he nailed it.
We can talk about it on vacation, FAQs. We didn't actually have any reason to call you there.
We just knew that you were diarrhea-ing. Anytime you rush out.
How are you feeling, I? Someone in shambles? Shambles. All right, so we haven't done anything since you left.
Oh, great. All right, my cool throne.
I mean, we were talking about it, and I was, like, sweating. I'm sure you can see it on the camera on video, but I was, like, just trying to get through my hot seat cool throne because it was bad.
Yeah. All right, my cool throne is the Internet.
The Internet is on my cool throne because the Internet did it again. If you missed it, I don't think most people missed it but uh there was a photographer at the rams super bowl parade that fell off of a stage and it only became a big story because there's a clip of matthew stafford like basically seeing her fall off the stage and then turn around and be like uh i don't want anything to do with that and kelly stafford went and helped her she ended up breaking her back which horrible like it was a horrible thing uh people were dragging matthew Stafford went and helped her.
She ended up breaking her back, which is horrible. It was a horrible thing.
People were dragging Matthew Stafford even though he was drunk. It's not like he saw her falling and didn't say anything.
It was after she fell that he looked up. It was just an all-time not-a-good-look.
Yeah, right. So everyone was dragging him, and then this woman, she had a GoFundMe.
The Staffords have said that they're going to chip in to pay for all of her medical expenses. Great story.
Except, of course, the Internet is the Internet. Someone decided, hey, this woman who literally just broke her back doesn't deserve this GoFundMe money.
Looked up her old tweets. Not great tweets by her uh from about 10 years ago but it was like it was just such a i i i remember it all taking place when i was on vacation and i explained it to the people i was with and they all were like wait really that's that can't be real yeah like what you said was like yeah matthew stafford watched a woman fall break.
There was a GoFundMe and the internet canceled her because she said some racist shit 10 years ago. Yeah.
No moments like that. When you explain exactly what happened on the internet to people, they give you this look that's like you spend all day on there.
Like that's where you are all the time on, on the internet. It sounds awful and it is awful.
Like that's, I kind of feel bad for her because obviously her back is broken her back is broken and there's no way to like foresee like you breaking your back getting your old tweets dragged up but she probably should have tweeted those things no she shouldn't have but we probably like we should not we should not know who this person is who is the person who was like oh man fuck this chick who's got a broken back we gotta we gotta drag her ass it has to be like an ex-boyfriend or something that what he probably used to like all the tweets what it's it asks you it begs the question what injury would stop the internet from canceling somebody's paralyzed someone's gonna die and then get canceled after they die that's happened fuck that guy yeah i'm glad he's dead oh my god it was just like what are we doing here why why is this now a thing where she broke her back she's a pro she is a private citizen and she broke her back and we're like fuck her and shout out by the way to dan orlovsky who is matt stafford's like mentor right they? They played together for a long time in Detroit. This is a prime example of being alone with a woman.
She's laying down in front of you. You turn around.
You walk away. Yeah.
He's like, fuck that. No chance.
Kelly was like, thank you, Matt. That's very respectful.
Way to go. Matthew.
Matthew. Matthew.
Billy, hot seat, cool throne. My hot seat are Hank's, specifically Hank the Tank.
Yes. Hank the Tank is a 500-pound black bear who has been breaking into homes in California somewhere.
I forgot the exact place. But breaking into a ton of homes.
Lake Tahoe. Breaking into a ton of homes.
Breaking and entering full home invasions and just eating everyone's food. He's probably got diarrhea too.
Yeah. 100 times the police have been called for Hank to tank.
He's awesome. I love him.
He doesn't know how to hunt because he's so dependent on humans. He cannot be relocated to the wilderness or he would die of starvation because he's completely has zero motivation to, you know, plus he just, it sounds like he just like he just likes good food.
He's got good taste. The quotes were so good from this article.
They're like, he is completely, he's not afraid of humans whatsoever. And someone was like, he doesn't growl.
He doesn't make ugly faces. He just sits there and eats.
Yeah, and bear videos are so awesome when they're breaking into homes because the doorway always explodes. It looks like a bomb went off, and then there's just this big fat bear that just kind of waddles through and then kind of rolls around on the ground looking for food inside.
He's not a violent bear at all. In fact, I think that Hank the Tank is like, I think we can all root for Hank the Tank, right? Yeah, no, I do not want Hank the Tank to die.
The cops are looking the other way at this point when they get a call about Hank the Tank. It's also great just reading about a bear who's like, the living is so good, I'm not going to hibernate.
I'm going to go against everything that's like my body and in thousands and hundreds of thousands of years that have been built into me. Because, dude, this street down the block, they get pizzas on Thursdays and I eat.
And if you want a solution to this, it's's pretty simple you just you bring back the days of baking pies and putting them in your windowsill to cool off then hank comes up eats the pie of the windowsill he moves along yeah has no one thought about just putting out a big honey pot and having his hand stuck in there yeah why not billy this bear he's way too big right he's way too reply, reply guy heard it from a guy. Turns out he's breaking into people's wine cellars.
He's getting drunk, dude? He's getting hammered. Sheesh.
This bear kicks ass. I mean, if you look at bears that eat trash and stuff, they're usually not that large.
They're not well fed. They're more like raccoon-ish.
Yeah. Like skinny and look a little gaunt.
But this bear is fat as fuck. He's on the sheesh.
He's a black bear? Black bear. How much do they usually weigh? He's a very large black bear.
Very large. I love this guy.
In the northeast, you usually see 300-pound black bears at the largest. But this is big bear.
Fucking love him. He he looks like he's a grizzly bear grizzly bears like run average 500 and he's he's that brown bears yeah we must protect hank the tank at all costs yeah no he's gonna die he's got some eyes if you look at his eyes yeah he's gonna have a heart attack yeah he's gonna he looks sick what's his bmi probably insane but yeah Nobody doesn't get COVID.
He's drinking super expensive bottles of wine from people's wine cellars. Damn.
Listen, I'm getting bad premonitions about how this Hank the Tank thing ends. Yeah.
But please. No, he's eating a t-shirt sales.
If you're a game winner. Good point, Hank.
Yeah. Once you name it, we have to make T-shirts.
We should probably make T-shirts while he's alive. Make them now.
So that way we can make more money when he dies. You know what I mean? Because now people are aware of it, and then it's a tragedy, and we can do a whole thing and take another vacation off Hank the Tank.
Shout out to the H-Man. Not Hitler, Harambe.

What were you going to say?

Speaking of, was that speaking of Hitler?

No, I don't know.

I don't want to blow up their spot.

It's kind of funny, though.

What?

There may have been a couple T-shirts sent out.

You know, because we had the Harambe Champs merch made.

Yeah.

But we took off the Champs and sold the regular ones.

Yeah. Some people may have got the ones with the Champs.
Oh, no. AFC East.
AFC Champs. Oh, no.
I don't know if it was everyone, but I did see one picture. Oh, that just triggered something in my brain.
I'm so happy that we had a vacation when the internet decided to leave Patrick Mahomes out of the top five quarterbacks. That was awesome.
That was so stupid. It was at the internet.
It was the Acho brothers. It was the Acho, yeah.
It was the same Acho that said, like, hey, you can't let athletes smoke weed in the Olympics because they might throw the javelin and hit somebody. It was, yeah.
What a moment. What a moment.
Your cool throne, Billy. My cool throne is the eye of the tiger.
So me and Liam were talking about this earlier. Some guy broke into a zoo and scaled multiple fences and just kept saying, like, into the tiger enclosure.
And turns out Liam went to high school with the guy. He's a 508 Worcester guy.
Yes. He was, like, on the JV football team.
I think he's a year or two younger than me wait he was only on the jv he wasn't in varsity yeah now he's breaking into tiger cages and like it was i saw um i saw like somebody tweeted out the news clip of it because i wanted to see if it was the kid and it definitely is but he like acted like he just did nothing wrong either he's like yeah i just wanted to go like look at the don't know. Did he get arrested? Looked it in the eyes.
He's like, I'm a big cat. Yeah, he got arrested.
I'm a big cat enthusiast. I just wanted to look into the tiger's eyes.
When you look into the tiger's eyes, you see its soul, and you see thousands of years of tiger souls. What are the chances meth wasn't involved in this situation? I think it was a hallucinogen.
I don't think it was meth. I don't know.
Because he wasn't trying to fight the tiger. And he didn't die.
Didn't die. Wow.
He made it into the last line. Didn't Matthew McConaughey do this? He did.
That was with a cougar. Yeah.
Outside, was it Rio Catorce? It was in Boco. Oh.
It was Rio Catorce, and he saw a mountain lion. He got into the cage with it and just sent it vibes.
Yeah. He just gave it positive vibes.
So maybe that's all the guy was doing, just sending some vibes back and forth. All right.
Good hot seat, cool thrones. Let's get to Aaron Andrews and Carissa Thompson.
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When you choose a monthly plan, that's GetRoman.com slash take. Now, here is Aaron Andrews and Carissa Thompson.
Okay, we now welcome on very special guests. It is Carissa Thompson, Aaron Andrews, and Aaron's dog, Howie, who's going to be around, so you might hear some breathing.
That's not me breathing into the mic. Yeah.
Good dog. Alright, so, um, very excited to do this.
Hi, guys. Yes.
Hi. You guys have the, uh, Calm Down podcast.
You calm down. We have to, I mean, you're stepping into our turf, so we should probably start there.
Well, I think you guys are okay in terms of your position in the podcast. Well, we didn't get here by playing nice.
So we came on. Oh, I know.
Why do you think I've never done anything with you guys before? Are you saying that you don't think there's at least one calm down podcast listener who you have taken from us who's like, I'm done with this part of my take bullshit? I feel like we might have different audiences, but not competing audiences. I feel like we could have some of the same.
You think? Yeah, we got our demo numbers the other day. Okay.
You guys are big with 23-year-old women? Yeah, 90% of the audience is women for us. Yeah, it's crazy.
We actually got our numbers back. A lot of aspiring broadcast journalists listen to part of my take.
Oh, really? So it is a war. Yeah, it's a turf war.
broadcast journalists yeah i think part of my take oh really so it is a war yeah it's a turf war well you know that's that's that's the only war that we're willing to have right now um interesting huh because whenever we ask people like what they want us to talk about and we're like aren't they overhearing our like career advice but they keep asking so i mean i don't know maybe we're doing something right, I have listened to the podcast a little bit. Thank you.
And so what I liked about it is the stuff that's kind of outside of sports, like the just day-to-day stuff. Yeah.
Like what? I like the pimple talk. The shit that drives my husband crazy.
The pimple popping talk. Oh, yeah.
That's how we're in. We have a whole situation over here.
I'm dying to get. And I've got kind of like a formal event on Thursday, and I'm like, this could go one of two ways.

This could turn into a real – it's already like a fun divot,

but it's like really in there.

And I think it's been in there since last year.

Are you sure that's a year-and-a-half-long pimple? How much dip do you use?

Dip?

Yeah.

Yeah, what are you, Copenhagen?

Red man?

Snap, snap, snap.

Actually, we're married to an NHL player.

We don't do dip in our house. Yeah.
Oh, he does. Oh, he doesn't.
No, NHL players don't do. He doesn't.
No, he doesn't, actually. We know a lot of people that do.
But he does. But no, he never did it.
When he walks the dog, yes. No.
The other night. Yeah, sorry to break that to you.
No, he doesn't. I swear.
He thought of something else. It's dip.
He told me he doesn't dip. Oh, he doesn't.
I would find it. Right.
When we were at dinner the other night we found out that hot swedish girls oh and we were blown away by this and i was like when my husband played for um yeah well my husband played for the rangers for a hot second we had a good group of swedes um on the team and one night we went out to we went out guys were out of town kind of had a christmas party and these girls were smoking hot first of all and then they were all taking dip out of their purses and like i was like what my mind is fucking blown then we were traded it was actually a fans only page only fans that's how not cool i am fans only i said members only i was doing a devontae adams interview and like there was a guy on the crew that was wearing a members only jacket and I was like, whoa, that's really inappropriate. And he's like, why? And I was like, isn't that the girl fan thing? And Devontae was like, no, that's only fans for us.
I'm like, shit, I got it wrong. Members only is like old dudes in Florida, golf club.
I have a funny, relevant for the Super Bowl, Matthew Stafford story about – No, it's not. It's Matthew.
Well, we actually – I think we need to talk about that because you two are Big J journalists. What does that mean? Well, it means that you're supposed to be above all the, like, back channel and, like, you know, the favoring certain people.
You're friends with Matthew. That's not the only people we're friends with.
We would never root for a quarterback just because we knew them. You have to be impartial.
I am. You have to be impartial.
I am impartial. You're Rob Lowe.
Wait, so tell the Matt Stafford story. Matthew Stafford story.
So, well, we were talking about fans only, and I think it was my sister who said to him. You're going to laugh at us.
I don't know what it is. My sister was asking about it.
We were all, they were with us out in the summer.

And my sister goes, wait, is this the same thing as Cameo?

And Matthew said, no, Cameo is like, happy birthday.

And fans only are only fans is happy birthday.

It was one of the funniest things that stayed with me.

Do you guys have a guy who's addicted to it?

Yes, we do.

I don't know anything about it.

Would you like to talk about it right now? No, his name is Glennie Balls. He probably follows you both.
Yes, I don't have a fans-only account or an OnlyFans account. But you guys, if you're starting a podcast, you should have a name for your fans of your podcast.
I've heard this. So the fans-only, I think, would be good.
Fans-only? I don't want to get it. We'll screw it up, and then all of a sudden, they're going to be like, wow, these girls are desperate.
They now have an OnlyFans account. This is weird.
So what should our, I don't want to get we'll screw it up and then all of a sudden they're going to be like wow these girls are desperate they now have an OnlyFans account this is weird wait so what should our our I don't know listeners be called if I'm calm down you guys are creative calm down the I don't know we'll think about it calm chowder I don't know that was bad that was a bad one calm chowder I don't know I think we want chowder he was trying there's no bad ideas I knew it was. And I was like, fuck it.
I'm going to wing it. I did want to bring up, you said that you were friends with all these players.
You got a little heat for hugging Aaron Rodgers. I actually would like to give you different heat for that.
Like, he's not vaccinated. You spread COVID.
You should be in jail with him. Oh, wow.
Is he in jail? Is that breaking news? It was disgusting. It was disgusting.
I looked at it a different way. People were like, oh, she's just like, this is not professional.
I was like, no, she just killed probably a thousand grandmothers in Green Bay. Sure.
For the two seconds, right? Where was this argument when I've hugged everybody else? Yeah, and I flew out on Troy's plane. No, where was this argument when I've hugged everybody else? It, it's just crazy.
I'm not here to talk about the past. Oh, excuse me.
The future. I'm here to talk about this specific situation.
That was kind of crazy, though, because, like, I don't know. It's like you talk to these guys all the time.
We do – we have – PFT was obviously joking, but, like, we find ourselves in a weird spot where we root for our teams. But then we also are like, wait, we really want our friends to do well.
Right. And it's hard to be like, yeah, like we want our friends to do well.
We feel bad for them when they lose. There's not a lot of these guys and I don't know how you all feel, but there's not a lot of these guys that you don't like.
I mean, and I was trying to explain it to someone. We're with them during the highest and some of the lowest times of their career.
I was telling Krista, you know, there's two guys, I remember their faces where I was like, I'm going to barf on the sidelines. And it was Matt Ryan when the Patriots started coming back in Houston.
And it was Aaron in Green Bay. What plan happened? Well, he's used to losing.
Well, no, but you know what I'm saying. And it was just like you look over and you're supposed to be able to give the reaction.
You want to see what they look like so you can say,

hey, hey, get this shot of Rodgers, get this shot of Ryan.

So, yeah, I mean, I feel like because we've seen so much of the highs

and the lows, sometimes after these things, these guys are just like,

thanks.

It has nothing to do with me.

They're just like, thank God it's over.

So what you said, though, you imply that there are a couple people

you might not like.

Why don't we do guys we don't like? This is a trap. We'll start first, Dan Marino.
I don't have many guys I don't like. Dan Marino is great.
No, we don't like him. He's bad.
He's a bad guy. Let us ask you a question.
Why don't you like Dan Marino? Because he's bad. Why is he bad? This is a joke.
Why is he a joke? Because he's an idiot. No, we interviewed him and he did not.
It's very hard to screw up an interview with us because we don't really take it that seriously. We crush this off.
Yeah, no, you guys are already crushing it. Well, actually, Carissa's already screwed up one interview with us.
No, you guys watched it up. You didn't do your research, right? They said I went to Washington State.
They're like, oh. I had five questions to make for you.
No, she's a community college girl. Yeah, exactly.
It's not Washington State. Grossmont Mesa.
You know what? I'm out in the community. You called Larry David and you wouldn't let us talk to him.
No, no, I called him and he, Kayla, was busy. Let's face him right now.
What's the, yeah, let's call him. I love him.
What's the Chris Rock, by the way, last time I talked to him, the only person he asked about, he's like, hey, still talk to Aaron Andrews. I'm like, every day, Larry, what is going on? Thanks for listening.
Best guest at my wedding. Wait, hold on.
What's the Chris Rock

joke? Careful.

Oh, be very careful. No, no, no.

It was about me. It was about

community college and he goes, you know why community college

is great? Because everyone in the community can

go. No, that wasn't it.
That's Chris Tucker.

Chris Tucker said that. Yeah, to Jackie Chan.

Yeah, great. That was a great movie.

Chris Tucker was at the Masters.

The microphone. Chris Tucker was at the Masters this past year with us's what a time my dad didn't even know it was chris tucker i was like dad wake up i don't know it was just like he was like not paying attention i'm like damn all right so we screwed up everything on the first interview this is our okay your redemption interview i mean we also did the the spelling bee was the one of the weirdest things you had to do professionally correct no but i just want to say how well you, you've done the real spelling bee.
No, she did the Barstool spelling bee, and it was like... We showed up.
The union workers had to take a break. This was before you guys were millionaires, okay? You were millionaires? Yeah, they have a lot of money.
Oh, your office are way better than mine. How much do you make per episode? We pay them.
Yeah. You guys, before...
You came in with a rolling suitcase. Now you come in with a whole staff, and we have to sign NDAs.
It was a joke. You should see where I do this in my basement.
The wires are all tangled up. Jared's walking in and out.
Howie's breathing heavy. But that's how you should do it.
A lot of the times when it comes to media now, the big sets and all this stuff, I know guys work on big sets as well but like huge people just want to talk to they want to feel like they're connecting with people let me okay let me just let's go back when was that spelling be 2016 i can't get comfortable really yeah so think about where your guys's lives are now compared to where when what was happening then yeah it was a big deal showing up we were like excited for it, and then we just totally blew it. You weren't really good with the awards.
No, everyone was. I was like, Kat, and they're like, K-E-M.
Oh, we're dumb. We're very dumb people.
But I remember thinking, Carissa definitely is going to go to her agent and be like, I should be paid more because I just had to do this. No, it was the opposite.
And actually, I'm looking for an agent if anyone has one. I'm here anytime.
That's true. We'll do it for you.
We got Josh Allen paid. Who do you want us to talk to? Wait, you did get Josh Allen paid, actually.
I'll give you 20 at this point. I've never met Josh Allen.
You've never met Josh Allen? I think need us to call Mark Silverman? I think I'm okay at Fox.

Yeah, I'm just looking for some other gigs.

I actually don't know him.

I know another Mark Silverman, ESPN Chicago.

But I can call him.

Oh, I know him.

Yeah, Sylvie, I can call him.

I'm good friends with him.

Sylvie, thank you.

Okay, well, great.

We'll talk about my career offline.

I'll look forward to that.

Although I'm very happy where I currently am.

You know, it's just...

Oh, what's the line?

Oh, Jalen Rose said this one time.

Appreciate your position, but plan your promotion. Whoa, interesting.
Oh, speaking of Jalen Rose, so you guys have had guests on your show. We have.
Sure have. So guests, Calm Down Podcast, Jalen Rose, Dr.
Oz, Kevin Hart, Matt Damon, Ryan Russillo, good friend of ours, Cam Jordan, Jay Cutler. Who's the best? Who had the best interview? Kevin Hart.
Well, we had one that was this thursday and i couldn't wipe the damn smile off my face jim cantori shut your face no one loves a weather report more than this girl i do so pressures humidities bands strands all of it's funny because i feel like you know how they always say like musicians want to be athletes athletes want to be musicians i want to be on the weather i feel like a lot of people on tv that cover sports especially in the sideline capacity want to be athletes. Athletes want to be musicians.
I want to be on the Weather Channel. I feel like a lot of people on TV that cover sports, especially in the sideline capacity, want to be on the Weather Channel because you break out.
Hell yes. What's your biggest thermometer that you own? Excuse me? I love the big thermometers on the sideline.
We don't have that. I just have like five by my bed to see if I'm ovulating.
So that's it. But when it's hot on the field.
You think I'm lying. When it's hot on the field.
Why would you have five? I got to pack one. Did I take it to Green Bay? I don't know.
I left this one in San Francisco. Like, yeah.
Listen, it doesn't matter where you are. Your temperature is up if you're ovulating.
Can't you just look at the moon and you're like, yeah. Fuck, I wish.
Okay, real question. There's the big dipper.
We're ready, honey. Let's do it.
Well, real question, because I know you've know uh ivf and you've been more open on your podcast do you guys like that like being able to open up and be like hey this is us like because it is an outlet that's very different than you know being on it's been hard for me i'm really proud of aaron because you guys have known me for a long time i'm very like what you see is what is what you get kind of a person and not as polished and protected. Pollyanna.
Yeah, and Erin is, we've known each other for 100 years, and she's always so old. Wow, you guys are old.
We are. So funny and all these different things that I don't think that she allowed everyone to see because she was protective of her space for a lot of different reasons.
But now you are, I'm very proud of you. You do deserve a lot of credit.
It's very, like, that's a hard thing to talk about publicly and also open yourself up. Oh, yeah.
But it's also sucked so much. And I just feel like it was our last round that we did that, like I've said before, and I know you guys can relate to fertility clinics but um you go in there and it's freaking packed with guys and girl and your eye before i'd be like oh my god i don't want to see anyone don't yell my name and it's like fuck it like i've been here a hundred times so of all these people why am i any different and the sad thing is i'm not any different because we just haven't had success so you just kind of want to be there for other people people.
It's like, I get kind of annoyed and I'm happy for these success stories, but everybody's like, we have babies and it was easy. It's not, it's fucking hard.
Yeah. I'm sure that the feeling that you have, like you, there's like a certain degree of, you don't want to talk about it publicly.
Like you feel ashamed for something that you shouldn't feel ashamed for. I don't feel ashamed.
It's just, I think a lot of times you just don't want people to know your business, but it's like, God, so many people are dealing with it. So why not? And I feel like that's a lot of things we deal with.
Our relationships, fertility, job issues. Most people will be ashamed of.
I'm like, fuck it. Let's just.
Skin care, bad breath. Meet it with some levity.
Well, and I would imagine it's also freeing because you guys and your job, like on Sundays, we see you, but we don't. it's not like a podcast where you're sitting and talking.

So people can make an assumption like, oh, what's wrong?

Like, why are they in a bad mood?

Why are they?

It's like, well, here's, here's who I am.

Why is she bloated again this week?

Well, I don't, no one says that.

Come on.

No, I do say, why is she hugging Aaron Rodgers?

Because he feels bad for me.

No.

Yeah.

But yeah, no, I, I, you deserve credit for it on the podcast.

Like I do think that's. I'm learning.
I'm figuring out my groove. my groove.
Who's been the worst guest? You can do the list I had. No, I mean, worst guest.
Dr. Oz, Kevin Hart, Matt Damon, Russillo, Kim Jordan.
Worst in terms of, I don't really want to say. We'll do ours.
We'll do ours. Dak Prescott.
Dan Marino. Why? Why was Dak? Do you know what color is his favorite color? Who? Dak or Dak? Dak.
What color? Gray. That's the biggest nugget that we got from that interview out of Dak.
He likes the colors. Dak is great.
He thought he hung up. Oh, shit.
And he said to his publicist, he's like, that interview sucked. We kept it in the show.
Now, to be fair, the very first question that Big Cat asked him was, like, so your name's Dakota Rain Prescott. I love that.
Do you know the porn star named Dakota Rain? Yeah, right. And then that kind of set the interview going down a certain path.
And then all Dak had to say was, no, I didn't know the Rain man. And, like, let's get back on track here.
All right, we'll work with Dak. He should have just, yeah, I fucked her.
That is a great reputation for America's quarterback, isn't it? Sure, that would go over well. Jerry would love that.
Jimmy G went to a Super Bowl. But besides, those are the only bad interviews that we've ever had.
So just the two of those. Wow.
I like both of those guys. I was just going to say.
And you. And me, because you got all the information.
Now, to be fair with your interview, I did think that you went to Washington State. And also, the internet was bad.
We were talking about the interview last night, actually. And Hank said that...
The interview was bad? What do you mean? The internet. The internet.
The internet was bad. Yeah, we were Zooming.
We were Skyping. I wouldn't have asked that stupid question about Washington State if my internet was faster.
So you had Cricket Wireless. It was like a slow action.
I thought you guys were rich. What's wrong with Steve? I also had a washing machine over my shoulder during the interview.
I missed those days. I missed you guys when you were poor.
Yeah, because as an interior designer, I wanted to come help you with the space. Wait, so are you full-blown? Because I obviously keep up with your life.
Thank you for respecting my craft. Yes.
Well, no, I follow you on Instagram. I keep up with your life.
And also you and Sarah Walsh, like you post a lot. And I like that.
I consider Sarah a friend as well. But you are like, are you full-blown going to like eventually just be an interior designer? No, I don't want to be both.
I want to be Dion. I want to play baseball and football.
Because your interior design is awesome. Thank you.
I always look at them like, and that's one of those things where. She decided to wallpaper that wall over there.
It needed some warmth in the corner. Thank you.
It's one of those things where you think like, oh, this is easy. And then you realize what goes into it.
You're like, no, it's not. Like when couches don't show up.
Yeah. But just how everything goes together.
Because I look at something, I'm like, yeah, just throw this couch and this couch, and you're good. Well, look, I would love to design any one of your spaces.
House and Home is the company. But she needs to get paid.
And you're rich, so you are a good client. Exactly.
But very similar to what Erin's done with Wear. Were you good for free for exposure? No, that was something else.
Again, you're rich. It was a test.
No, at this point, I'm really proud of the company. It it started during covet it's been a passion of mine for a long time and yeah i mean i'm excited to see it grow like anything we do outside of our normal everyday jobs there's multiple hats you can you should you should make an only fans for it like couch porn right look at this couch how awesome is this couch yeah very reputable clients would want to hire me after seeing that it's a different demo but yes yeah so is wallpaper back yes in a big way i love wallpaper yeah let's talk white marble let's do it let's open up tuning out right now because no no this is good yeah wallpaper what's up with what's up with white marble are we still doing that well you don't do the marble you do like a granite or a version of marble.
You can do porcelain, although that's very expensive to fabricate. But good for hot surfaces.
It's fine. Wallpaper's back in a big way, and it's very expensive.
Because you have to pay a professional to install it. It's almost like a puzzle.
You have to have it perfectly done. What about stainless steel? This is boring.
No one cares about it. No, I like this.
Stainless steel, yes or no? Thumbs up, thumbs down. I'm moving away from the stainless steel.
I like to... Very similar to Aaron's fridge over here.
I like to cover it with a wood paneling so it's disguised. I don't like my appliances to show with the exception of the oven.
How many pillows is too many pillows? Never. More pillows, the better.
You just like pillow me to death? A long-term Pauly. Pillows forever? Pillows forever.
That's kind of a crazy move. There's definitely too many pillows.
No man likes a pillow. What is wrong with you guys? I do because I like to put it on my stomach so people don't see my fat stomach when I'm sitting on a couch.
What? Yeah. I do that too when I'm bloated.
I'm not going to lie. Or it's like these high-waisted jeans.
What, you got to talk on the mic? Oh, yeah. Please don't put your chairs on the pillow.
Hello? Just make it a conversation. No, no, no.
It's so true. But the high-waisted jeans, like I'll put like my, because it's like, God.
There becomes a. Yeah, you put a pillow in front of you.
And it's very. Love that.
So you don't have to suck in. I agree.
I like that move. So maybe more body-sized pillows for bellies.
For you, I'll do that. Yes.
Okay, great. Yes.
Is it true that like if you have TVs, you should either have one TV, three TVs, or five TVs and not two TVs or four TVs? Whoa. Eight TVs.
Like odd numbers are better odd numbers are better. I only have two in this house.
No, I don't know. I've never heard that.
I mean, on the same wall. So if you think about it this way.
Okay, Rusillo. Is that too many? No, he only has two.
If you do the downstairs setup that he's with? Three there. If you look at a vase with flowers in it, and there's four flowers in it, it actually looks worse than if there are three flowers in it like odd numbers look better okay i'll think about that and add that into my aesthetic yeah add that into our contract okay okay um that's my agent you're negotiating real question real question hardest part about your job that people don't recognize like use this as a way to tell people like you think it's this way it.
Yeah, I got a story. Because I think that, like, a lot of people have misconceptions about your jobs.
And it's good to be like, you guys are wrong. This is what, you know, is difficult or the hardest part.
I love the morons. And I don't run into this very often anymore that come up to you on the sidelines.
And I have, like, my trapper keeper. I have my binder full of notes that I don't even use a quarter of and they're like did you write that yourself or did somebody else shut the are you serious of course I wrote this out but I think my insecurity is there's always going to be something that happens and I and it's going to expose me that I didn't play right that's just always kind of like the chip on my shoulder right I wasn't drafted it you know until the sixth round or something like that but just am so worried something will happen.
So just the preparation. I mean, if I had prepped this much in college, it probably, I would have gotten to wear those cool bands that everybody got to wear.
What are those? I didn't get one. Yeah, so just the prep.
I'm a nut. I'm insane.
I just, with it. I like that.
I don't think people get that. And it's like a 24-7 thing.
My husband's like, put the phone down. And you're like, what's he in Rappaport tweeting about? La, la, la, la.
So, yeah, I just think the prep and just really the time away from home. Like, I'm not home at all during the season.
I would imagine that the more prep you put in, it's stuff that you might not ever use. You never use it.
I never use it. I get three to four hits a game.
I never use it. It probably just adds to your confidence when you're on camera, though, and it lets you do a better job because you know that shit goes sideways.
I know my stuff. I mean, for every game, I sit there and I look at the depth chart, and I go down to the third string.
I am literally Googling every player and going back probably like five to six months looking at articles on their grandma, like things I just don't want to miss. Do I need that shit? No.
But am I psycho? And I know I have to have it for myself. I do to make myself feel better.
And yes, there are a time, there's a time like Troy at dinner or Troy in a break will say, Hey, does anyone know what this? And I'll be like, clip in. I'll be like, hey, I do.
And he's always like, thanks, tips. It didn't make air, but I did it.
Yeah. But that's, I mean, your job specifically like live, going live on TV and then like you said, you're live three to four times a game.
That would make me so nervous because if you make one little mistake, like Joe and troy talk for four hours so if they say one thing wrong it's like okay whatever it's a four-hour broadcast you have these short windows that you have to nail every time i will say the biggest i think where i am at my most valuable is the part people don't see and hear for me i like to think i'm a spy on the field prime, and I was so excited it got a lot of attention because it was a huge moment. Aaron Donald is just going off on the sideline.
And I just said, get a camera to him, get a camera. I mean, there's a lot of times I'm grabbing the camera where I'm like, go here, go here.
Somebody's falling over. Somebody's got a toe thing.
I mean, last year, a toe thing, toe pick. Well, COVID toe, Rodgers, because he has COVID for those of you that got the toe pick.
Right, right. Only fans is a big place for toe things.
That's interesting though. I didn't know that.
Oh, my God. That's where all my best stuff.
Divisional last year was huge for me in terms of going off the field. I saw Antonio Brown kind of doing something with his leg, and then I just said, get a camera on Antonio Brown as he's going into the locker room why just do it get a camera on him because i knew brady would run over to him and say is your leg okay and it wasn't after the second half he was out so we had that footage for you know whatever bruce arian said to me but the important thing is antonio brown is out i noticed this before the half it's the shit you don't hear right but i can get the camera and tell our producer and director and I love it.
I go off on it. I'm like, Oh,

that's, Antonio Brown is out. I noticed this before the half.
It's the shit you don't hear from me, but I can get the camera and tell our producer and director, and I love it. I go off on it.
I'm like, so cool. I feel like I'm a spy.
Yeah. That's important.
You don't think about that. I just always assume that the cameras show up because they just know what the action is about to happen.
No, there's a lot of cool stuff that happens where somebody will grab something and say something. Have you ever shown too much? Have you ever taken a camera to a place and been like, okay, we're going to get this.
And then the team got mad at you later. And they were like, Hey, that's Dr.
Elitraj. No, I run away.
You know, I, I let the photo get that or the camera, the handheld get that. And then I tell the producer and I'm just like, I'm just letting you know, this is going on.
And they decide if we're going to do it. And I have a great producer and director, so they're like, EA, we're coming to you next, we're coming to you next.
Yeah. What about you, Carissa? It probably happened the other day, actually.
And I called, or actually, because I saw you at dinner and I was like, oh, I didn't even tell you about this shit that happened to me today. I was doing the EA Madden Pro Bowl with characters.
Marshawn, Chad Johnson, Micah Parsons, Justin Jefferson, Derwin James, like big personalities. Well, I have a producer in my ear yelling at me to, not yelling, saying to me like, we need to get in and out of breaks.
You need to keep this thing moving. Well, I have a little bit of a like corralling cats and kindergarten teacher.
Like you need to sit down, you need to be quiet. And i got her in over here i don't give a shit about at this point again doing this long enough her and i are both used to people saying you either like us or you don't like us we're good with that right we kind of know where we lie but i've not gotten that much like shit on twitter for a long time and they were like she's annoying as fuck she's like yelling at them and she's saying this and And I'm like, bro, I'm trying to keep this live event moving.
And mind you, there's like alcohol involved. Everyone's like jumping up and they're playing Madden.
And I get like the gaming world's like its own thing that I don't pretend to know or touch. But I have somebody in my ears saying to me, we got to move in.
We got to like move to this, move to that. So it just came across like I was like screaming at all of them and not letting them do their thing.
So I think that's the hardest thing for me is that we have to keep things moving. Yeah.
And so sometimes the audience at home just sees me giving stop signs and traffic copying it more than just letting sometimes things happen. So that's it.
Yeah. I mean, that one, yeah.
I mean, there's times when I have to move a show along or do it. Like right now? Is that the hit? No, but I'm just saying that's – because then people look at it like, why the fuck? What a dick.
Yeah. Or if you're in the middle of a story and the ball is snapped and you're like, fuck, I got to get out of this.
And you're like, I have 10 more seconds to tell this story. And then it's picked, fumbled, somebody's hurt.
And you're like, Joe, I'll finish up after this. And then you don't get to finish up because the other team has the ball and you're screwed.
And you know what? That was just a week worth of Googling. That's the reason I went off the sideline.
Yeah, there's rules that you hear about. I know for baseball announcers, if you're a play-by-play guy, or if you're a color guy actually, you're not supposed to start a story with two outs, right? Or if there's one out and there's a run- on.
Third down is for us, right. So for you, yeah, what are those rules? Like you're never going to cut in to talk about, you know, whatever you're seeing or whatever side story you have under what circumstance.
I need to get it to Joe by the time the ball is snapped. But if you think about it, Joe is, you know, second and ten.
Rams have the ball. And now let's sit down to Aaron Andrews.
They've already snapped it. Thanks, Joe.
Back to you. Right.
You know, it's hard because especially when, you know, what are they doing with the offense? When it's like no huddle. Hurry up.
You're screwed. You're just, you're not getting in.
Yeah. What about making fun of Joe Buck's hair? I don't.
I've got my own hair. Please.
Well, we make fun of it a lot. Sometimes it's fake.
Sometimes it's real. You guys do? Oh, yeah.
I think Awesome Joe has been so vocal about the thing. Well, he almost wasn't because he was addicted to the hair plugs.

Well, we like Fultran, so I have hair plugs some weeks.

Sometimes I don't.

I'm a big fan of the week.

Are you addicted to them like Joe was?

No, I just get really bored.

You guys have known.

Remember the suicidal path to Frumpyville headline?

I think you and I talked about it the last time.

When you actually did your research when we were on this podcast the last time. That was the Dead that was the deadspin thing and like it was where i changed my hair i mean that was 15 years ago i'm still changing my hair i get bored it goes short it goes long it goes like suzy orman cut like i go all over the map and i'm not afraid do you need some financial advice because i'm here for you i need some hair advice actually I got to cut my split ends off.
I'm dealing with some...

I just cut mine off.

Okay.

Okay.

How often are you getting a haircut?

Not ever.

Right.

D.

None of the above.

That was always my favorite.

What are the odds on the D, all of the above, actually being the right answer to the test? Yeah. Pretty rare.
How about the number two pencil? Did it actually make a difference on the Scantron test? Because it's like sometimes I show up with the mechanical. No, that's one or three? Right.
What happened to the one or three? There is, I think. Really? Yeah.
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I think there's like sometimes I show up with the mechanical. No, that's one or three? Right.
What happened to the one or three? There is, I think. Really? Yeah, I think there's a different lead size, right? It's a different lead size, but I've never seen it.
I think it's like architects use one or something. If I used a mechanical pencil, maybe that was the problem that I didn't get out of the pencil.
Remember the ones that you could load up and then they would like the little, it was almost like Pez in a pencil. Yeah.
And it would come out and then you'd write it down to a nub and then you'd take it out. Test taking is the worst.
Oh, awful. You ever do pencil wars? No.
Yeah. What's that? Yeah, you snap them.
Yeah, I was really bad at it. What did you do? I was pretty good because Pentech made the most firm pencils.
So if you got a Pentech pencil, they were indestructible. As opposed to Bic, right? Bic or Ticonderoga or the Pearl Eagle, those were just easily destructible.
Where did we just go? Staples? This is amazing. Yeah, no, I should probably start selling office products.
I did have a question about the sideline interviews that you do at halftime. Okay.
For me, I would be thinking my breath stinks really bad. I do think that.
Is there a regimen that you go through? You're like, I have to have my gum 15 minutes before. Or yeah, spray down with anaca.
How I don't have a Listerine campaign, it just chaps my ass. It's done.
I've tried. And they just aren't interested.
Yes, breath is always my concern. Because I've heard from athletes just talk about certain writers and certain reporters that have horrific breath.
Peter King. And Marino.
There used to be a blonde that worked at Fox that had a very bad reputation from the makeup artist for having very bad breath. And she wasn't a nice person, so I am happy that she was out of breath.
Whoa, that narrows it down a little bit. I thought you were friends with Sarah.
Sarah works at NFL Network Fox. She was not just singularly employed by Fox, but nice try.
So did you ever get to spell Britt McHenry's breath or are you just – Ridiculous. Was she at Fox? Probably.
No. I think spiritually she was.
I hope she's doing well. Oh, man.
Wait, who's the alpha, Troy or Joe? Me. You? I'm the alpha.
Okay. Like when you go to dinner, who's kind of the leader of the pack? Is it you? I usually help with where we're going to go.
Troy is the healthiest eater. Yeah.
You know what? Half the time we're not even all together, but I'm usually the one that's like, I've already found out if this is a good restaurant a crappy hotel i'll give you the yelp right now i'm lucky i get on the plane what's the best nfl city well i like dallas because we're so comfortable there yeah and we know i mean we've been there so much and you know troy's the toast of the town so we get the best restaurants we get the best seats we get the best service best sushi yeah um let's see what What else do we do? We would love going to New England. That was always fun.
Good hotel. Good vibe.
Good scene. Where do you have some...
In Fox? Do you have to need the hotel? Really? I wouldn't put that up there. What's the worst? This would be good.
Detroit. I've got to be honest.'s my the townsend hotel is fantastic they give you these salted caramels delicious everything's close together it's amazing you get different service than i did i was on the sea crew and i was there week after week after week and that was the shit hotel i love our hotel in detroit it's so nice the bar is fantastic they've got great pizza up there.
Very underrated pizza in Detroit.

It's like a mix of Chicago

I'm always there for Thanksgiving though so my

experience is a little different. Yeah.

Do you like it on Thanksgiving? No, it's sad.

I miss being with my family.

I thought you said Detroit was sad.

Watching the Macy's Day

parade and the games at noon and

you have to be at the field at 6.

It's kind of an upsetting holiday but it's fine. You sound fine.
I haven't had one. I was going to say it was the last time you had one.
So when you're on the road with Troy, how much weed does he smoke? Fine. Have you seen his eyes in the booth? No.
Have you seen those pictures? That's not from that. He just goes swimming right before games? No.
No, I got swimming. I have green hair.
So similar similar question when you do the pregame um are there any times where if you just stopped talking colin would just talk for the entire hour no that we always made it on your show anymore i know sadly used to be yeah but there was the the running joke with colin was this like we'd all be let's say the cameras are here we're all looking over here and he'd be like be like this. Like, just, like, staring off into space.
I'm like, are you with us? Are you, but no, he, the one, I really miss a lot of things about Colin, having worked with him for so long, even at ESPN. Colin was the ultimate wingman.
You could give him anything. I mean, this guy talks for three hours.
Yeah. You know, you could just say, talk about the third string, you know, TV.
And he's like, oh, yeah, he went to Boise State. And he's like, he knows everything.
It's like a Ferrari. Yeah.
The analogy. When your wife gets to your first divorce and then you get a Ferrari.
I remember. And it's a buffet.
The analogies are, as somebody who loves an analogy. Oh, he.
Oh, he. You know what he loves? He loves the old Netflix versus Blockbuster.
Yeah. He can tie that into anybody.
He's like, oh. Cars and that.
Joe Burrow is like netflix his instagram is out of control right now nothing like the skiing mountains good drink loves himself video rich i know one time someone said to him home yay they were like how do you sleep at night with these you know thoughts that you have and he goes on a bed full of money next to a hot redhead and i was like good for you have you ever seen Have you ever seen him eating soup? Yeah, a big slurper. Is it like a normal everyday? He claims to be a big broth head.
Oh, that's just for health, because he's very healthy. You're a big bone broth gal, healthy.
I could eat soup every single meal. I'm kind of soup.
I mean, you name it. Can we power rank a soup? Are we going minestrone? We're going chicken noodle?

We're going tomato?

So my sneaky favorite soup is probably the Greek lemon soup.

The Avgo Limono soup.

Where's that from?

Just Greece.

Petros.

Just Greece.

Yeah, no, it's like a chicken rice soup with like an egg yolk and lemon mixture to it.

Sometimes it gets that little bitter taste that gets you right here.

Yeah, you get that.

It's called seasoning.

I love it.

Yeah.

No, it's very good. I also just like, sort of chowder.
Just stews too. Are you a crock pot guy? My grandfather used to always say you eat the soup after the meal because it fills in the cracks of the meal.
And it makes you sleepy. I'm just disputing Colin Coward's soup credentials because I think sometimes he overplays his hand.
Oh, I thought he liked soup. I just have heard him eat soup and it's slurp.
It's gross. No, it's not gross.
It's just the style. Everyone's got a style.
How about when people drag the spoon over their teeth? That's a tough move. Yeah, with ice cream too sometimes.
I know people. Scraping of the bowl with their own meal.
In the morning.

Not my better half, but I've been in meeting rooms. And it's a big spoon.

And I'm like, really?

See, I have a whole thing.

I can get fixated on it really fast.

Like a heavy breather, a whistle on a nose, a spoon on the teeth.

A guy who pretends that he got vaccinated and didn't.

Or doesn't dip.

Don't like him, huh? No, he's a loser. Oh.
Big Cat really doesn't like him because he's been – He's been – Aaron Rodgers has been amusing. He owns them.
I can't wait until he goes – Are you excited about that or no? I mean, look how you said it. How does that work, by the way? Like, if a team hires a new coach, somebody that you don't know yet, how do you go about making inroads with that person and getting the inside information, getting the scoops and all that? You just send them a text? You're like, hey, it's Aaron Andrews.
I sent Dennis Allen a text yesterday. I'm so excited for him.
And Sean. Yeah, you're really good about that, reaching out.
I used to – I mean, I haven't been on the sidelines for a long time, but in production meetings is what I miss most about being on the sidelines is because you got FaceTime with all these guys, and that's so important. Now it's the relationships that have been established over the years, but that is one benefit, sans COVID, is that being in those rooms with those guys on the field before for an hour, two hours during the whole game, postgame.
Conference calls can be a real bear, but they can be really, really awesome. I mean, we've had conference calls.
Sean Payton is one of the best to have a conference call with. His conference calls are just like what you saw for his, you know, his retirement, not retirement, but his closing, I guess, presser with the Saints.
Brady's conference calls with us were un-freaking-believable. I will miss those so much.
He did a lot on them, which I thought was great. Rogers, you're a friend.
His conference calls are awesome. Invasive.
Listening to, no, he's great. And you know what's awesome? It's cool because I get to sit back.
I get to ask my question at the end. Troy just goes through his list of questions with these guys.
And to hear Aaron and Tom and Sean McVay break it down. It's just really awesome.
Yeah, it's cool. It's badass.
Whenever we talk to football guys and get into the details, it's just you can sit and listen. I'll tell you, one of the best conference calls besides Brady, Rogers,

Kyle Shanahan is fucking awesome to talk to.

He just breaks it down.

We did a game with him last year against the Packers where their entire roster was depleted.

They didn't have anyone because of COVID.

My husband was there, and I said, come sit and listen to this.

This is going to be awesome.

We didn't know what quarterback was going to play.

And he just said, you know, I may actually suit up, but I just told these guys, listen, people dream for this shit. You're third, fourth string.
Like, let's go. See what's going to happen.
This could be a great story. When we interviewed him, we were like, we wish we could have done it forever.
Yeah. Yeah.
He's got so much swag. Except in the fourth quarter.
Well. Whoa.
Whoa. I love the way.
Truth. Listen, I like Kyle's shit in a lot..
By the way, that move right there, just the whoa, gets anybody riled up. You could just be saying something and you're like, shut the door, and you're like, whoa.
Now everyone's like, wait, did I say something wrong? It's just a subtle little thing. It's a little tug on the leash.
Whenever you're uncomfortable in a situation, just go, whoa. Everyone will.
Well, here's a little tip for your podcast. Just be more critical of people because then it makes headlines.

Okay.

Actually, that's great since you guys are wildly successful in this space and it's made you a ton of money.

No, but you are really good.

$75,000 an episode.

And we are new.

Wow.

Sexual.

Yep.

We get a big check.

So, okay.

That's a great piece of advice since we're novices in this area.

Yeah.

And the big check.

Is being controversial. We're not really controversial people though.
Yeah. We don't do it on.
Like we're novices in this area yeah and the big check is being controversial we're not really controversial people though yeah we don't do it on like we're not controversial either it's more just like have you know have real opinion yeah right right well we have opinions we also have employers though right you guys are your own employers now you have to talk to a lot of these people which is very awkward like we don't how great is it for you guys to not have to give it yeah you never have to see these guys you talk shit you never have to oh we go into locker rooms all the time yeah yeah no the thing the nice thing you're not allowed in locker rooms no that's a good that's a good point no but we do like we have them on the show and then we'll say exactly what we said about them right like i've said some very mean things about dk metcalf and i've said like d, you turn with approximately the same precision as an aircraft carrier. Yeah.
And I'll say it to his face, and then now we're good friends. It's disarming.
I did to Matt LaFleur. I joked about him kicking that field goal when they were down eight.
And? He was like, well, that sucks that you brought that up. But, like, after it, yeah, like, I don't know.
Think about SNL. SNL has become, you know, for the 30 years or whatever that it's been on, making fun of people.
Right. So sometimes making fun of them means that they matter enough when you guys are in your position to care about them.
And so then it becomes. I made fun of Jeff Darlington the other day.
I said he ruined my weekend. There you go.
No, it's also just, I mean, the simple rule is to, like, we just make fun of ourselves more than we make fun of anyone else. Self-deprecation is our biggest thing.
How is our thing doing? The people who make fun of other people but never make fun of themselves and sit on an ivory tower, they're assholes. Thank you.
I'd like to believe that, look, I've been very vocal about not liking certain people in this industry because they'll act one way and then behind your back say another thing. I'm like, fuck it.
I'm just trying. You're talking about Sarah Walsh again? Sarah again, Michelle Beadle.
It's like I just don't understand why. It's like if you're going to say it or you're going to have the opinion.
And look, my mom always said this to me. Not everyone's going to like you, clearly.
So you don't have to like everyone else. Don't be an asshole, though.
My big thing is if you're mean to hair or makeup or audio. If someone's running the prompter, don't say hey prompter roll up know the fucking person's name like and so when people in this industry don't do that i have a very hard time with it and then when networks tolerate it yeah like i get frustrated by that it's it's a lot like very it's a lot of people go into like making everyone look good on air yeah and that's a big thing yeah but in the end it comes out we know I think there's been a lot of people my dad has making everyone look good on air.
Yeah. That's a big thing.
Yeah. But in the end, it comes out.
We know that. There's been a lot of people.
My dad has always said, just sit back and watch. Yep.
It's true. Talent wins out.
I hate the word talent. That's another thing too.
But it does win out. I love it.
No, I'm saying not talent. Like people talent.
I'm saying like if you're talented and you keep working hard, eventually you will win out. I believe that.
And I do believe being a nice person. And I haven't,'m sure there's someone that's like, she was an asshole to me.
I never intentionally want to be mean to someone. I just think in this industry, you're not that special.
You're replaceable. Just like every athlete has been replaced by the next great athlete.
Appreciate your position. Plan your promotion.
But say hello to Cheryl, the prompter operator. I am an asshole asshole though.
When I have five minutes before I have to be on air before a big game, which every game is big for me. And I'm sitting there and I'm clearly doing my notes and someone comes in my space with their head and it's COVID.
And that's different though. That's different.
Then you hug that guy after you do the interview with him. No, no, no.
That's just not good awareness. Yeah.
Oh man. I I think when you're locked in, though, it's a little bit different.
Like, everybody has that with their job. Right.
So, yeah. Like, I'm a real bitch when you invade my space and I'm trying to get ready for the game.
And then once I get the first hit over with, it's smooth sailing. But up until then, I am crazy pants.
I'm scared. I just, I don't want to fuck up.
Do you have to apologize for getting into bitch mode right before? Is it just understood? People, they see you sitting there and they're so excited that they have a sideline pass. And I totally get that.
And please enjoy it. I don't think there's anything better than being up, you know, right there at that moment, watching the guys come out.
It's so freaking fun. But I'm not there for your enjoyment.
I can't screw up. I've been working all week for this.
You know, I've got a job. So, yeah, people job so yeah people think i like to herb street and i used to say this all the time when we did college game day it's like a petting zoo they're just like over here over here it's like you know feed me fish yeah you know i'll do a trick um all right last question calm down podcast go listen um great stuff every week last question i was on the flight and I hadn't watched Newsroom in a really long time.
And for some reason I pulled it up. Did you date Will McAvoy? I didn't.
Jeff Daniels? And I never was asked. Such a funny blast from the past.
Isn't it so great? What, 2013? It's like the opening scene of the show. Yeah, and he's like, yeah.
Were you on vacation with him or something? Last episode too. Yeah.
So I, at that time I was working for ESPN and I had a chance with GMA to work the red carpet for the Oscars. And he was there.
And I just, he walked up not knowing anything. And I was like, hey, I'm Aaron Andrews and you use my name in your show.
And when the hell can I make a cameo? I was like, holy shit. It's like a very funny, like you.
It's so random. you've, you've done, like, crazy stuff in your career.
But, like, having, like, oh, yeah. If you go to that moment in time.
Yeah. It's like, all right, who's, like, the it girl? Oh, Erin Andrews.
Let's throw her in this. That show, too, was phenomenal.
I'm so sad. No, you have to.
And you came up later again, too. Like, they did a callback.
Like, he was on vacation with you in the islands or something. I was like, this girl.

It was like the sports version

or the non-sports version

of that was a show

that he also worked on.

I feel like it was called

Sports Night.

Oh, Sports Night.

Remember that back

in like the late 90s?

Yeah.

Yeah, then that was

on HBO, right?

Yes.

I distinctly remember

like tuning into

a couple episodes.

Did you guys ever watch

George Michael's Sports Machine?

Yes.

Pow, pow, pow. Somebody needs to bring that back.
You guys could do it. Before we go, because I know this is your guys' show, congratulations.
Seriously, I know we make a joke about the spelling bee and the last time you guys did this interview with us, but you guys have had a ton of success, so congratulations. Your guys' podcast is killing it.
Stop hating on my friends, though. What? Stop hating on my friends.
Dak, Aaron, all the guys I love. Get better friends.
Whoa! Present company excluded, of course. You guys should have Cletus on the show.
Oh, yeah. He's a talker.
He'll say a lot. His favorite color is also gray, so that's perfect.
Perfect. Awesome.
Alright, well, thank you guys so much. Calm down podcast.
Calm down. Listen to it.
Don't calm down. Carissa Thompson and Aaron Andrews is brought to you by Black Rifle Coffee.
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All right.

We're going to wrap up.

We'll do something different because we all took a vacation.

We're going to do vacation FAQs.

Pardon my break. Pardon my break.
Pardon my vaque. Let'll do something different because we all took a vacation.
We'll do vacation FAQs. Pardon my break.

Pardon my break.

Pardon my break.

Let's do it.

How would you fix saving seats with towels and bags at the resort pool?

As a dad of three, I'm up at 6 a.m.

Putting towels on chairs, getting the best goddamn seats, shutting out dudes like Big Bank Hank, but to be honest, feeling like an asshole doing it. Okay, I have one way.
That's make $75,000 an episode because then you can rent a villa like I did with my friends. But that's probably a dick answer.
That's pretty sick. Yeah.
That's probably a dick answer. I understand that.
I would just make a big mess because people get mad if you have you know like five or six chairs reserved and there's nobody there for like three hours they'll be like i haven't seen anybody use these chairs with the towels on it but if you really spread the towels around a couple empty water bottles really junk it up a little bit but they clean those like they the the at a nice hotel or resort they clean the area. I think you can only just sleep out there.
Like, why not just sleep out there with an eye mask? Sleep there? Set an alarm for, like, 930? Or you get one of those dummies like people use in the HOV lanes where they strap it in. You just put a set of balls beachwear on, like, a crash test dummy and then put it under some some towels and shit and lay it out there boom problem solved yeah wet towels and sandy sandals just get a bunch of sandals buy them in the store put them out leave them yeah the sandals might work you're right because they don't clean it yeah they wouldn't clean sandals yeah that might work that's actually a genius idea billy can't you also just take your kid and at the start of the day you wait for a couple other people to come around and then you just grab your kid and you're like uh-oh we got an emergency and then you stand up and you leave if you say that there's an emergency while you're holding your kid i feel like that's going to buy you at least a few hours of your your of all your shit being still out there but once you have it you have it he's saying what I'm understanding from this question is it's a brutal game you basically if you're at a nice hotel or resort you have to squat on your chairs and you have it for the whole day you basically don't leave all day because you're like you gotta get out there at 7am and get your nice chair do the podcast thing that was probably douchey of me to say but whatever hey pft cat and honk i'm going on spring break this year with six other people who all were couples when we booked the trip back in october uh-oh fast forward to january and one of the couples broke up because the girlfriend was cheating on my buddy because she said she never loved him oh no always awkward situation but what makes it worse is that she then confessed her love for me two days after they broke up what do i do to make this the least awkward as possible please help me all right it's very simple because i was just in the virgin islands and i saw a lot of this going on just uh make some team t-shirts for yourself but put pineapples on all of them and it's just a swingers trip now yeah so now you're just now it's free love on your vacation that's a sign apparently that's a code i didn't know that where the pineapple stands for we're swingers did you end up in an accidental situation or something i did not that would have been very funny if i had there was a a moment where i thought when i got on on this boat that i was staying on and I saw like there was a pineapple

out and somebody just told me about the pineapple thing.

I was like, wait, is this boat that I'm staying on run by a lady and her swinger husband?

And it's just like stay on the boat.

But you know, it can suck your way off.

Yeah.

The different.

Yeah.

The cabins are more of a suggestion.

You just kind of go in whatever door that you want.

I saw a turns out that wasn't the case for the the record i saw a boob cruise in cancun it was out on a boat one day i went i went on vacation there were seven of us and i three couples and then one of my friends there was a boat we were coming out of uh like the where we were docked and there was a boob cruise and you know when it takes you like a second to like kind of pick up on something? So I was like, oh, wow, those are some boobs right there. Like, that's sick.
I'm like, wait, that's another set of boobs. And then it was just a dude with a fucking rock hard boner just standing on the boat.
And it was just people fucking on a boat. It was crazy.
It's the thing. I looked it up online online it's like a boob cruise in Cancun

you just go on it

and you fuck

do you pay a ticket

to go on this thing

or is it like

invite only

it was

no it was pay a ticket

they have rules

we went through

what rules

the rules are

well you can't

it said select singles

which I think

that's just like

they put ringers on there

right

and that if you're

in a party of

single dudes

it can't be bigger than two

which makes sense

I want to keep the ratio down

yeah

so those are the rules

Let's go. They put ringers on there, right? And that if you're in a party of single dudes, it can't be bigger than two, which makes sense.
I want to keep the ratio down. Yeah.
So those are the rules. Sounds awesome.
Yeah. But I would come so fast on it, and then I'd be on a fucking cruise for the rest of the day.
Like, oh, I already came. We didn't even leave.
All right. Speaking of this is similar to the situation Dave was in, kind of the reverse, though.
I was planning on going on a vacation with a bunch of my single guy friends, but my girlfriend asked if she could go. It seemed like it was a bro's only trip since we don't get to see each other very often.
Should I bring her anyways? No. Help.
No. No.
No. Yes.
No. This feels like a...
Maybe. No.
No. This is a definite no this is a hard no because you might have a decent time at you yeah yeah better than that than like going on a trip where okay you have two choices one you can not bring her which is the correct choice and go on your bro's trip and deal with the aftermath which i'm sure you can pick up be like I didn't have a really good time we like didn't do anything whatever well you're like you know you're really tan and your throat is like horse and everything clearly partying or you could bring her and you guys are definitely going to break up on the trip because all your bros want to hang out and go like fuck around and you're with your girlfriend I think the most likely scenario that happens if you bring her on the trip is you end up paying a lot of attention to her and then all of your friends secretly hate you and then you just will eventually no longer be friends with those guys well after that and then but then you like try to make up for it by then ignoring her for one night and then she breaks up i think you gotta you gotta encourage her to take a girl trip that same week.
That's really the move. Correct.
But you should actually, you should aspire to get to a point in life where you can go on trips with couples. That actually is very fun.
Alright, good segue. I recently went on a V word with some friends and they were go go go.
By day five, my girlfriend and I made up an excuse to split ways and take a breather. How much activities do you guys like to plan on vacation and how much time do you carve to do nothing slash have no plans? It depends on the type of vacation.
If it's a beach vacation, I usually I pencil in about nine to 10 hours a day of doing absolutely nothing except for getting drunk, passing out, waking up and getting drunk again. Yeah.
I, my big thing is I'm going on a vacation to a tropical place, warm place, it's fine one day to do something big. Because then it's like mixes it up.
Like go out. I went out snorkeling one day.
Then it's like, oh, we did something. Because you want to feel like you did something.
But just one day. That's enough.
And it doesn't have to be anything like crazy. You're just like, oh, we did something because you know there is something about like if you go for like six or seven days somewhere it's like what'd you do i just i was on the beach all the time you want to have like one thing you're like oh i did this one thing just one one thing you could tell like your mom about yeah one thing that's all oh we played golf yeah just one thing to put your back pocket be like did that.
I saw a volcano. Do you see anything cool on the snorkel trip? I told you guys the story, but I was snorkeling in the middle of the ocean, and I came up to clean my mask, and some dude was just like, big cat? He was just swimming by me.
He was like, what up? And I just kept on swimming. It was wild.
Shout out that guy. I hope he's listening right now because he probably told people

and they're like,

I don't believe you.

But yeah,

it was a very funny moment.

Of all places to run into a stoolie

is like in the middle of the fucking ocean.

There was this one bartender

and she goes,

as I'm getting my tab,

she goes,

I like your hat.

And I was wearing that,

the hat that Hank's wearing right now.

I was like,

oh, okay.

Are you a listener?

And she was like, yeah, I love the podcast. I was like, thanks so much i appreciate it she goes tell jake hi oh there we go jake hell yeah i saw a turtle when i was snorkeling i saw a turtle as well the turtle sea turtles are the best they're so cool they're so chill yeah all right we'll do i think we're just a vacation podcast now we are i think i'm addicted i'm on island time I'm an island boy What if we all went on vacation together Then it wouldn't be vacation Then we'd just be doing the podcast But we'd do vacation stuff What if we moved the podcast to California There was a lot of people I was in California, San there was honestly like I can't even keep track of how many people are like, you guys got to move out here.
And I was like, dude, I know. Yeah.
And we talked to the guys. Hank, tell us about the speech, though.
Tell us about the best man speech. What are the highlights? The speech went great.
Shout out to my uncle who helped me a lot going through it the night before. I had the notes in hand.
I didn't really look at them. I just looked down at one point just to make sure I was going in the right track, but I was doing eye contact with the audience.
It went great. What was the biggest word you used? Poof.
Did you try to read? No, I knew. I did my best to memorize because I knew that if I was reading, I actually said this to my uncle because he was like, I would just read it.
And I was like, no, no, no. I'm actually a worse reader than I am a speaker.
And that's saying something. Big come up for you, though, on Wednesday's show.
Yeah. When Bubba was so bad at reading, PFD and I didn't even make fun of him.
We're like, are you okay? Like, this is, we can't joke about this. Yeah, my parents came up this weekend.
I, like, got them a hotel for, like, their hotel for their birthdays, and just at dinner, my dad just brought it up and just was laughing for like 10 minutes about it. I think we need to- Dude, it was bad.
We got to do reading time as a podcast where we just take 30 minutes, just do some reading exercises. Start a book club.
You know what it is? I have a lot of books for three-year-olds, so we can do this i think we're all much better readers than people get credit for it's just no yeah when we're reading now he's right like if you read like a novel like a book and read out loud it's much different okay you might be right but did you listen to bubba not nice okay yeah so you would not have that opinion if you listen to wednesday show oh but shout out to my brother great wedding good time there was a us i was i was getting a shot with some of my brother's friends and a stoolie just walked up he was like a bar back and he walked from behind the back area and like slammed a coors light down for me and was like here you go fucking love you guys shout out to that guy. Yes.
All right, last one. Is there a worse feeling

than when an awesome vacation ends?

Also, how many notes

did PFT write to the staff

over under 10?

Ooh.

You forgot.

No, I didn't.

You forgot.

I kind of forgot.

You forgot, but.

You forgot.

I gave him a shitload of money

at the end of it.

Yeah.

To the point where I didn't know

how much to tip somebody

that's on a boat with you.

I think they call that if you're overseas. That's what they call money, notes.
Yeah, yeah, I left a few notes, exactly. I left a couple pounds on that boat for them.
Tough, tough follow-up from the life advice. Very, very tough.
But you're on a boat. Provisions are scarce.
I don't think that there was a pen or a piece of paper on that thing. Also, to follow up from what I thought was the funniest part of the life advice was the suit never came out at super bowl week you did bring it to yes super bowl sunday yes i wore it yeah i would know uh saturday yes before it looked as wrinkled as you think it would it was very wrinkled in your bag for a week and a half i really tried to get all the wrinkles up by putting it in the shower with me for about like five minutes on full power on on hot water that didn't work it turns out yeah no uh coming back to this question coming back from vacation sucks it's like a it's way worse in the winter too like going from sun thankfully it was warm to last like miserable weather yeah it's just sad it was dark at like three o'clock today i did have like the i did enjoy like seeing my kids so that was the one plus but i'm not i'm not saying people should have kids just so that that moment they come back from vacation isn't the worst i think a lot of people get dogs so that when they go overseas to war they come back and their dog gives them a nice hello yes one quick one big hack because you're you can answer this quickly but this guy said i'm a new father please explain the difference between vacations with kids versus vacations without kids my wife thinks it will be appropriate to take our one-year-old son on a fourth of july of July trip with friends this summer.
No. It's vacation when you don't have children with you, and it's a trip when you do.
Because you're not – it's not a vacation when you bring your kids. It's just you're actually making it harder on you, yourself.
Because all, like, the nice things that you have at home to help, like, their crib, all, like, the things you have around that help with care TV aren't there when you go on vacation. So now it's just a trip.
You're making an away game. Parenting is so much harder than a home game.
I'm a big believer in someday my kids will come to vacation, but not for a while. I think until like.
I saw one family bring a nanny with them. Yeah, you can do that.
That's a flex. That is a flex.
That's a flex. That's an expensive flex.
I think it's probably better to just go without your kids. I'm also, like I said, someday I hope to travel with my kids and show them the world and all that stuff, but I'm a big believer, a one-year-old, like my kids are two and a half and nine months they wouldn't remember a second of a vacation why would i waste money on them no offense to them i love them dearly but come on like they it would just be a pain in my ass maybe when these like my son's like six and my daughter's like four they also start doing it teaches them resilience on how to get along without their parents around.
With no one around. I just left a bowl of water out for my kids.
Yeah, newspapers. Five days.
On the floor. It's incredible.
They both were fine. All right.
Great vacation, post-vacation episode, boys. Should do this more often.
Yeah, I can get used to it. Podcasting, yeah, we're going to do it again on Thursday.
No, like post-vacation podcasting. Post-vacation.
We do have tans. I do have post-vacation clarity right now.
Mm-hmm. It's like, oh, man.
I might just still be drunk, actually. Yeah, we should do that again.
All right, numbers. By the way, people were very...
You know what? 22. We do two numbers.
We fucked up. We didn't do a number at the end of the life episode.
People were very upset. So the first number we draw will be the life episode.
my I also fucked up so bad I had a Cats in the Cradle Take on me remix That I'll play now Why I meant to play At the end of that one Why Someone actually sent it After I left my kids out With a bowl of food And I was like Oh this is a funny callback And I forgot Alright here we go First number 64 22 62 This is for Friday show. It's 22.
28. Second number 22 50.
No way. 69.
That was your first one. Yeah, I was gonna do it again.
All right, to know we'll both do it.. 51.
51, 69. Six.
Oh, I forgot because of two men. Shout out to two men.
Finally, we killed him. R.I.P.
Our sweet prince. 35.
I was saying to Hank, the best part about the two-man video is I just wish we had more time to make it because we had nine years and we did it in four minutes in a hotel. I thought it was perfect.
I thought it hit all the right time. I wish we had just not run out of time.
The greatest procrastination of all time was having 22222 sneak up on us. It's a date that we knew was coming for a decade it was a tough when i realized that like

the week i wasn't going to be here the week before and then i was getting back like the

night before the day so i wouldn't have time i couldn't push it off anymore i was like oh fuck

this date is actually happening came out like every other date in the history of dates

all right russia has trained beluga whales and dolphins to attack scuba divers. Love you guys.
I'm talking away. I don't know what I'm to say.
I'm sage anyway. Today's another day to find you shying away.
I'll be coming for your love, okay. I'll be coming for your love, okay.
Take on me. Take on me Take me on Needless to say I'm on sentence But I'll be stolen away Slowly learning that life is okay Say after me It's no better to be safe than sorry It's no better to be safe than sorry.
It's no better to be safe than sorry.

Take on me.

Take me on. All the things that you say Is it a light bulb Just to play my worries away You're all the things I've got to remember.
You shine away.

I'll be coming for you anyway. Take on me.
Take me on. I'll be gone

In a day