Charissa Thompson And Erin Andrews Plus Post Vacation Recap Of Everything We Missed

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Speaker 3 We got a lot to catch up on. We also have an awesome interview with Carissa Thompson and Aaron Andrews.

Speaker 3 We went to Aaron Andrews' office, Super Bowl week. Great interview, great talk with both of them.
And her dog was there, too. Her dog was there.
Yes, it was a great time. Beautiful, beautiful office.

Speaker 3 We're going to talk LeBron. We're going to talk Aaron Rodgers.
We got NBA

Speaker 3 All-Star Weekend. A ton of stuff.
Juan Howard, speaking Juwan Howard, actually.

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Today is Wednesday, February 23rd. Tan everywhere, Jan everywhere.

Speaker 3 We're back from vacation. Credit to us for taking a vacation.
Hit the rest of the day. Let's go, boys.
We just sit back. Yeah, we just got a little hard reset on our bodies.

Speaker 3 It does feel vacations rock. Hank was right.
Yeah, no, they do. And we'll do our vacation FAQs at the end and talk about our vacations.

Speaker 3 But it was, it's also awesome to take a vacation right after the Super Bowl because you feel like a football player. You're like, yeah, long season.

Speaker 3 Got a break. It was funny.
So

Speaker 3 I was on a beach and there were at least three guys that I saw and I was like, you know, I think that guy's actually on the Cowboys. Yeah.
And I was like, yeah, I'm at the same place.

Speaker 3 This is where we all go after a long season to recharge the battery a little bit. Got to help our bodies here for a second.

Speaker 3 But yeah, we will do vacation talk and FAQs at the end of the show. We also have Krissa Thompson and Aaron Andrews coming up.
But we got to recap some things. We missed a lot of things.

Speaker 3 Where should we start? We can start with LeBron. We can start with Aaron Rodgers.
We can start with Juwan Howard's anger management. What do you guys want to start with?

Speaker 3 I feel like the Juwan Howard thing is the hottest story going right now.

Speaker 3 Okay. So what was your ⁇ I've given my take on multiple platforms.
I obviously, I was watching the game live.

Speaker 3 It was awesome to watch because it was like, not only do we beat Michigan, but then Juwan Howard lost his cool in such a hilarious, outrageous way.

Speaker 3 He smushed Badger legend Joe Krabenhoff in the face, who's one of my favorite Badgers. That's the debate.
Was it a punch? Was it a slap? It was a smush. Was it a smush? It was a smush.
He smushed him.

Speaker 3 A smush is different. A smush is about that, like four games, that sounds about right for a smush.
I think if it was a punch, you'd probably say the rest of the season.

Speaker 3 Also, if the punch connects, I think that makes a big difference too. But a smush, that's a soft four games.

Speaker 3 I don't know. Is your take on it that you think that Jawan Howard has an anger problem? Yeah, because this is, he's a repeat offender.
He is. So he had that.

Speaker 3 He also claimed last year that Mark Turgeon, who's no longer the Maryland head coach, but was at the time, was coming at him, and he had to defend himself.

Speaker 3 Now, Drawan Howard, I think he also said, I'm going to fucking kill you. Yeah, he said, I'm going to fucking kill you.
Got kicked out of that game.

Speaker 3 He had, there was a little incident with his players at Rutgers in January. He's gotten some weird technical fouls where he's like yelled at people.

Speaker 3 And the Greg Gard, he said that he was defending himself because Greg Gard put his hands on him. I've likened, I love Greg Gard.
I've turned around on him a couple of years ago.

Speaker 3 It was actually right before COVID hit where he turned that team around. Alondo Tucker tried to ruin Badger basketball.
Greg Gard's our savior. Greg Gard,

Speaker 3 like the nicest thing you could say about Greg Gard and his, his, like, his physique is I likened him to the guy that you talk to when you go to enterprise and they give you like a mid-size SUV and you ordered a large SUV.

Speaker 3 He's that kind of energy. Like he might, he might sign you up for a life insurance plan really quick.
He might do your taxes. He's not exactly a guy to be like, oh, man, I'm shaking in my boots.

Speaker 3 He's going to beat up Juwan Howard. He's not threatening.
He gives off the same vibe as like a shift manager at a mid-tier chain restaurant. Yeah.
You know, like he can get some stuff done.

Speaker 3 No, he's a whole manager. He can get you some, yeah, he can get you some coupons.
Yeah. But anything above that, he's going to have to escalate it up to corporate.
Yes.

Speaker 3 I agree that like Greg Gard is maybe the least threatening person in college basketball. Juwan Howard hit him with an excellent finger point, too.
Right in his face.

Speaker 3 That's almost worse, I would say, than the smoosh. Credit.
The finger point where like the tip of the finger is on the other guy's nose, that's like the most emasculating thing that you can do.

Speaker 3 And credit to Greg Gard for

Speaker 3 not escalating it from there because he could have beat the fuck out of Juwan Howard, decided not to. He was about to.
Which I was happy that he didn't because I didn't want him to get suspended.

Speaker 3 I did see people saying like, you know, we should actually take time to acknowledge the fact that Greg Gard did a good job of de-escalating this situation.

Speaker 3 It's like, yeah, Greg Gard was, he was really going to get out of here. He was going to be like the Tasmanian devil and start killing everybody.

Speaker 3 There was a strong contingent of Michigan fans, who I think have simmered down a little bit because I never thought Sean Howard should get fired.

Speaker 3 I never thought it should have been like some big, oh my God. I really do think he just needs a nap.
Yeah,

Speaker 3 you needed somebody to have that take, though. I'm glad that people had the take.
The reactionary, fire this guy. Get him away from kids.
He's a bad influence.

Speaker 3 Black eye on sports.

Speaker 3 Obviously, you say black eye

Speaker 3 on sports. Black eye on sports.

Speaker 3 What I'm doing with this is I'm smashing the good for college basketball button. Oh, yeah.
I love this. And there are so many people out there.

Speaker 3 I listened to several podcasts over the weekend because, once again, I am getting back into college basketball as I do this time of year every year.

Speaker 3 And there are a lot of people being like, this is a really ugly thing that happened. And it's a shame that this is what our sport is being reduced to.

Speaker 3 For the first time all year, college basketball was leading all the major sports TV shows, and it's just, it's ugly that it has to be be about this. No, no, no.

Speaker 3 I'm smashing the good for college basketball button. Of course it is.
It's awesome for college basketball. It's the middle of February.
People are talking about Wisconsin versus Michigan.

Speaker 3 That does not happen otherwise on all-star weekend. Yeah, right.
Like it's great. Yes, rivalries in college sports where it's always on the cusp of turning violent.
That's just good for the sport.

Speaker 3 And nothing bad happened. A couple of the players started throwing hands, which I totally agree with.
If you see your coach throw a punch,

Speaker 3 you should have carte blanche to throw a punch after that. Like, imagine you're in practice with this this guy every day.
You're signed on to be part of his team. You believe everything that he says.

Speaker 3 You're lining up behind him. If he throws a punch, it's like, okay, we're fighting now.
Our whole team's fighting. I don't have a problem with the players getting into it.

Speaker 3 They probably did deserve to be suspended for a game just because you can't let people punch. Willy-nilly.
But a slap on the wrist was absolutely appropriate.

Speaker 3 And now I'm loving that it's turned into a debate about the handshake line in general. Well, so there were a handshake line.
Yeah, so there were a lot of, I love the handshake line.

Speaker 3 If you don't have the handshake line, you you don't have moments like Tom Crean's blow-bys or Coach K deciding to coach Dylan Brooks in a losing effort. Like those things happen in the handshake.

Speaker 3 Coach Harbaugh and Jim Schwartz pinching each other's nipples. Right, exactly.
So these things, like college coaches are bad losers. And I want to see it in the handshake line.

Speaker 3 Like at the end of the day, this was about Jawan Howard

Speaker 3 needing a win very badly in Madison, not getting it, and being really upset. Yeah.
Like, that's all it was about. Like, that's, you could pretend it was the timeouts and this and that.

Speaker 3 No, he was mad that his team didn't perform well in the second half, and Johnny Davis is a stud.

Speaker 3 But the handshake, there was a contingent of Michigan fans who were like, Greg Guard escalated, never put your hands on another man.

Speaker 3 Which is hilarious because it's literally the handshake line. Yeah.
Like, that's when you're going there to put your hands on each other's hands, to touch hands.

Speaker 3 Docking.

Speaker 3 Even had

Speaker 3 Deadspin weigh in with

Speaker 3 the first line was whiteness wins again. Greg Gard didn't get suspended.
Was that like 400 years streak?

Speaker 3 I don't know what like Greg Gard didn't.

Speaker 3 He grabbed him by the elbow to explain it. No, that was it's it's ridiculous that somebody would reduce it to that.
Juwan Howard did throw the smush. And he also came in hot saying,

Speaker 3 I won't forget that. I won't forget that.
And if you look at what happened, what led up to it was Juwan Howard decided to press at the end of the game. On backups.
On backups.

Speaker 3 And then Wisconsin called a timeout so that they wouldn't get an eight-second violation. That's a 10-second violation.
You're still getting back in the college.

Speaker 3 I'm still in NBA mode. Yeah.
Obviously. But yeah, they had to call a timeout so they wouldn't get called for a 10-second violation.

Speaker 3 And then Juwan Howard got mad that they called the timeout because he was pressing. Correct.
And so then it just...

Speaker 3 And it also goes back to the stupid net rankings, which is the dumbest thing that college basketball does, where they're going to decide quad one and quad two wins and losses and it actually matters how much you win and lose by yeah i love the quad one wins that's a good quad one win for this program yes and but credit to juwan howard he's very good at apologizing juwan well not immediately not immediately but

Speaker 3 he said he was threatened yeah but in the updated one he I thought his apology hit all the right notes.

Speaker 3 I like the fact that these coaches are getting mad, but please don't take away our handshake line. No.

Speaker 3 There's a lot of stuff that we do just in life that we probably don't have to do and it probably leads to bad situations, but we still do it anyway because it's beautiful and fun.

Speaker 3 Dollar Long Island Ice T Night. Yeah.
That starts a lot of fights too, but it also teaches us valuable life lessons about how to care yourself as an adult. Yeah, eating chili past 7 p.m.
Exactly.

Speaker 3 We still do it. Chili like this, Taco Bell at midnight.
It's not pretty, but yeah, I'm all in favor of these little skirmishes. Did you see? So the Wisconsin AD, Chris McIntosh, I loved his statement.

Speaker 3 He came out and fully supported Greg Gard. He said Greg Gard, it's not a Greg Gard fine.
He got fined $10,000. He said it's a Wisconsin fine.
We're going to pay for it. It's a program.

Speaker 3 And like, that's, like, it is,

Speaker 3 when these things actually happen, usually everyone's got to be like, oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
It's like, no, no, no. Greg Gard really didn't like...
Okay, he grabbed him by the elbow.

Speaker 3 If that's the start of, if grabbing someone, I like him. If grabbing someone by the elbow in a handshake line started a fight, Coach K would have gotten his face smushed 10,000 times in his career.

Speaker 3 Like, that's just a fact. How sick would that be if somebody just punched Coach K in the face and smushed him?

Speaker 3 him yeah that'd be great uh it was it's been great though i've loved every second of it because i had like the rare not only am i on the right side of history but my team won so it's like it's just the whole thing has been awesome yeah i don't think anybody with an objective set of eyes looks at what happened and they're like you know what greg guard was really the instigator in this i think it's pretty obvious juwan howard instigated he did tell him stop touching me yeah he thought he said several times stop touching me but that's that midwestern niceness by greg guard he just could he just had to grab his elbow

Speaker 3 juan Howard just should have said, oop, let me scoop by you there real quick. Yeah.
And then it would be all fine. It's,

Speaker 3 yeah. And at the end of the day, I did not think Juwan Howard should be.
I do think he should probably see better help because he does have their defense needs to see better help. Yes.

Speaker 3 They have some anger problems. Well, Johnny Davis is that good.
But it was great for college basketball.

Speaker 3 All right. Next topic.
What do we want to do? LeBron, Aaron Rodgers. Suck Bron.
Suck All-Star Weekend. All-Star Weekend was awesome.
I only watched highlights. I didn't actually watch anything live.

Speaker 3 I was watching the dunk contest at a bar and everyone was like, this sucks. I heard it was terrible.
It was really, really good. Pre-Mad Believe Job got up and walked away during the dunk contest.

Speaker 3 Yeah. And people say that it got, it's, you know, it's been bad for a while, but 2016 was like the best dunk contest of all time.
Yeah. It's not that far removed from that.

Speaker 3 You just need guys to want to try and want to be part of it. And it's like, I don't know.
I mean, there's a real simple answer for all this.

Speaker 3 It's actually a good segue for LeBron because LeBron should be in the dunk contest. He ruined the dunk contest by never doing it.
Correct.

Speaker 3 Thus setting the precedent for the best players to never do it. He ruined it by saying he was going to do it too.
You remember that? Yeah. And then just never did it.

Speaker 3 I think what they should do, they should just put a shitload of money in the pot for the winner of the dunk contest. Yeah.
It's very simple.

Speaker 3 Just get a big sponsor, get everybody to pitch in, and be like $2 million to the winner of this. No, do even better.
Do better than $2 million.

Speaker 3 Be like, if you win the dunk contest, you're eligible for a seven-year Super Max. Or a free agent.
Yeah. You can win your free agency.
That would be cool to get a 10-day contract.

Speaker 3 Bring in the YouTube dunkers. Yeah.
Mixing the camera. You get paid whatever John Wall is getting paid right at this moment.
That'd be sick. That would be awesome.
What is John Wall? Is he alive?

Speaker 3 Are we 7 million? Well,

Speaker 3 somebody's

Speaker 3 eyes on John Wall. That's why LeBron was very upset because LeBron wanted the Lakers to trade for John Wall.
I don't know where we even want to start with LeBron. He put on a tour de force.

Speaker 3 I'll give you a couple quotes. One was, he said, it's like Cleveland has three all-stars this weekend,

Speaker 3 talking about Jared Allen and Darius Garland and LeBron, even though he's not on the Cavs. But it is like

Speaker 3 three all-stars.

Speaker 3 He also said, talking about Luca, he said, I love everything about his game. I love everything about him.
The way he plays reminds me of my game. Yes.
Yes. Great compliment.
Awesome. Great compliment.

Speaker 3 And then LeBron, so LeBron basically spent the entire weekend

Speaker 3 just making everyone in the Lakers' front office and anyone who's on the Lakers roster feel like shit. So he wanted to trade Russell Westbrook at the trade deadline.

Speaker 3 They're like, no, LeBron, because we've, you literally wanted you, we wanted Buddy healed. You made us get Russell Westbrook.

Speaker 3 I don't think that people give enough credit to LeBron for being such a shitty general manager. Yes.
He's actually not good at it.

Speaker 3 But in another way, he's very good at it in that Russell Westbrook was the perfect guy for LeBron to get on the team to be like, this is why we're bad. Right.
Because of him. Right.

Speaker 3 And so he spent, he went to Cleveland. He complimented Sam Presti, the Oklahoma City GM.
He was like, he's the MVP of the Thunder.

Speaker 3 He went cross sport. He complimented Les Sneed.
He said, that's my type of guy, because Les Sneed traded all his picks for the super team.

Speaker 3 And then the best was he complimented Colby Altman, the GM of the Cavs, who he hated in 2017 and 18 with like all the Kyrie stuff. And he wanted to trade all the picks for current talent.

Speaker 3 He's like, he's doing a great job basically leaving the door open for him to come back to Cleveland but he said he'd only come back for max deal well he also said never say never never say never he's not closing the door on

Speaker 3 but he'd come back for max deal if they drafted bronnie well no he'd come back for he that's gonna happen in a few years so that's a whole separate thing he I he's gonna be this summer he has an extension that he can sign which he probably won't so he might try to come back to Cleveland sooner than later but the best part about the coming back to Cleveland and and and complimenting Colby Altman and he's like, he built a great team and what they've done.

Speaker 3 The reason why they built such a great team is because they just didn't listen to LeBron in 2017 and 18. LeBron wanted to trade all the picks for current LeBron, and they're like, no, fuck that.

Speaker 3 You're probably going to leave anyway. And then they got Darius Garland with a pick.
They got Okoro with a pick. They got Evan Mobley with a pick, and they traded a pick for Jared Allen.

Speaker 3 So literally the entire team is built because they're like, LeBron, we're not letting you be the GM anymore.

Speaker 3 And then he comes back and he's like, that GM's really good, even though he did the opposite of everything I wanted.

Speaker 3 You think that there's a chance that LeBron is playing like seven-dimensional chess right now and he's trying to fuck up the Lakers' roster so badly that they will be in a position to draft Bronny.

Speaker 3 So then he goes back to Cleveland and then he comes back to LA to play with Bronny.

Speaker 3 He might be, yeah, you might be right. He's already played with his dad, Delante West.
Now he wants to play with his son. You had that one ready to go.
No, that's off the dome.

Speaker 3 People don't talk about that whole thing enough. Yeah, well, Delante West has not been great.
That's true. Yeah.
I hope he's well. Yes, I hope he's well, too.

Speaker 3 I think he had like a video of him working out. Yeah.
Yeah. Just shooting around in a gym.

Speaker 3 Looked good.

Speaker 3 That's like a prime NBA

Speaker 3 Twitter meme. Yeah.
Anytime you have LeBron, it's like, let's throw it at Delante West.

Speaker 3 Don't let that distract you from the fact that Golden State blew a 3-1 lead. There we go.
There it is. We have forgotten about that.
Skull emoji, skull emoji. Who did this, fam?

Speaker 3 But yeah, LeBron put on an unbelievable performance all weekend and also hit the game-winning shot, which I hate the Elam ending. That's so stupid.

Speaker 3 And that's not because I thought that the game could go over, but it didn't because of that stupid fucking math. Yeah, there's too much math involved at the end of the game.

Speaker 3 I don't know. It's sick, it ends with a shot.
It's like, no, I don't know. You mean clock? Just play the game.
I understand a clock. It counts down.
When it all hits zero, that's the end of the game.

Speaker 3 It's easy enough. What were you going to say, Hank? There was also a lot of good moments from the NBA 75 ceremony.
MJ came. Everyone was, you know, kind of showstopped the crowd.

Speaker 3 Everyone stopped and was like taking pictures with him. He got a bigger pop than LeBron.
Yep. In Cleveland, just saying.
Also, the clip of him saying to Magic, put on your shoes.

Speaker 3 Let's play one-on-one right now. And everyone in the room, did you see this clip? No.
Everyone in the room's laughing.

Speaker 3 And then they like, it cuts back for one split second at the end to MJ, and he's dead serious. He's like, no, no, I want to play one-on-one right now.

Speaker 3 That doesn't sound like something he's joking at all.

Speaker 3 There's a clip of

Speaker 3 Paul Pierce and KG standing next to each other, and they introduce Ray Allen, and they just stiff him. Like, they don't talk to him at all.

Speaker 3 LeBron comes up and like embraces him, and KG literally, like, looks the other way. He was so mad.

Speaker 3 That was petty funny. That was funny.
And then Dennis Rodman, there's a picture of the banana boat crew. It was like LeBron, Chris Paul, Dwayne Wade, Carmel Anthony.

Speaker 3 Maybe Steph Curry, too, like taking a picture on the stage. And Dennis Rodman, like got caught up, basically, like he was up there, but didn't want to be up there.
And it's just standing there.

Speaker 3 Like Dennis Rodman being like, what am I supposed to do? And they're like, you have to take a picture. So we like got in.

Speaker 3 Dennis Rodman had the vibe all weekend, if you saw any of the clips, of like everyone basically said to themselves, I don't want to be caught talking to Dennis Rodman for more than 30 seconds because North Korea is going to come up and he's going to say some weird shit.

Speaker 3 So like everyone was doing like a quick like, hey, Dennis, and then keep on walking. Yeah, no, Dennis is, you should go back and listen to the interview that we did with Dennis Rodman a few years ago.

Speaker 3 He made a lot of sense. Yeah, made a lot of sense.
He said a lot of things. Wait, Carmelo wasn't on the banana boat, though, was he? He was like,

Speaker 3 wasn't he like the last man out? Remember, we said he wasn't, yeah. He's still in the banana boat crew, though.
He is. Yeah, he said that when we were in.
He was in the Banana Boat Cinematic Universe.

Speaker 3 Yes, yes, yes. What were you going to say, Billy? He was on the beach.
That's right.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's right. He said he was on the beach.
So, yeah, I mean, the all-star game, like, Steph was incredible. I don't know.

Speaker 3 How pissed were those guys that they had? Oh, Anthony Towards winning the three-point contest. Kind of impressive.
What were you going to say, PF?

Speaker 3 Just like if you're an all-star in the NBA, maybe you're a first-time all-star and you get voted into the game and it's in Cleveland. That's got to kind of suck, right?

Speaker 3 I think they have a good time no matter what. What do they do? They go to that casino? No, they go to fucking Dante's club.
Yeah, true. Forward.
Yeah. There's a good B-dubs there, too.

Speaker 3 Yeah, Cat winning the three-point contest was great just because then everyone can be like, Cal didn't let him shoot threes, which is always fun.

Speaker 3 Also, I think MJ has a party every all-star game that he like rents out like a huge warehouse. Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 3 I imagine the entertainment's got to be pretty good at that party, too. Yeah, I feel like

Speaker 3 they still have a very good time.

Speaker 3 Where would the funniest place for bronnie to be drafted be well boston boston would be funny i mean it's it's a no-brainer boston um utah would also be funny utah would be funny can't drink wine sacramento

Speaker 3 yeah i mean it would be

Speaker 3 mine included i i hank when he i saw that quote i don't have to be a fan when i saw that quote i was like oh that's that like that's kind of cool because like you can't hate on lebron wanting to play with his son even though his son's probably not a first-round draft pick, and he should probably be in college for two or three years, but he's going to stun his growth, even though that.

Speaker 3 But then I immediately was like, fuck, what if he comes to the Bulls and I have to root for LeBron in a farewell season? Because that's the thing. It's not just LeBron.
It's LeBron's farewell season.

Speaker 3 Yeah, Bronny Jr. is probably going to not even want that.
Dude,

Speaker 3 like, I do think it's cool. I think LeBron's a good dad, except for the times when he makes his daughter drink wine that tastes like rocks.
Makes her eat rocks. Yeah, eat rocks.

Speaker 3 I do think though. I think cultural appropriation of tacos.
Yes.

Speaker 3 It probably's got to suck a little for

Speaker 3 Bronny Jr. because.
It's like Lonzo Ball, but way worse. Yeah, because he's not like.

Speaker 3 And again, there's no knock on him because he's a kid, but

Speaker 3 if you see any of the draft projections or watch him play, it's like he's good. He's not lottery pick good, but someone's going to spend a big...

Speaker 3 like they're going to do a first-round pick on him because they can then get LeBron.

Speaker 3 And then LeBron's going to retire and the team's going to be like wait we tanked for bronnie wait we have we you're not that good yeah no they're not i hope he's better but like there's a chance it could really suck for brawny well then what they're gonna have to do is make lebron the gm

Speaker 3 the team yeah yeah there's a small chance it could suck for bronnie where he's like plays a full year with lebron and then lebron retires and he's like uh

Speaker 3 he's gotta grow i wish i had stayed in college okay i'm officially rooting for lebron to go to the celtics that would be so funny to watch

Speaker 3 i'm not but

Speaker 3 I can acknowledge that it would be funny because I literally don't know what I would do.

Speaker 3 I think it's going to end up being like a team, a smaller market team that is doing it because they're like, we get to sell out for a year. Is he going to want to go to play for MJ?

Speaker 3 Charlotte?

Speaker 3 That would be great. The two goats on the same franchise? I could see him going to like,

Speaker 3 yeah, maybe New Orleans. Zion's probably going to eat himself out of the league.
Well, I'm convinced. Remember Zion?

Speaker 3 Yeah, I'm convinced that MJ or that LeBron is doing something with Zion behind the scenes right now.

Speaker 3 I like watching Zion. I love watching Zion.

Speaker 3 I just wish he'd pick up C.J. McCollum's phone calls.
Yeah. It's rude.

Speaker 3 And yeah, maybe, I think Sacramento is probably like...

Speaker 3 I could totally see Sacramento. I'm like, hey, we're going to sell tickets for a year.
This will be sick. Let's do it.
I don't think he'd do it, though.

Speaker 3 I think he would pull a power play and he'd be like

Speaker 3 an Archie Manning to his way, way worse son and be like, you're not going to draft my son and then get me.

Speaker 3 You have to trade that pick to somebody. Yeah.
All right. I mean, it's going to be whatever's going to happen.
I think I was on

Speaker 3 with my guys Waddle and Sylvie Day. They posed the question, over or under one and a half teams that LeBron plays for for the rest of his career?

Speaker 3 Like, besides the Lakers? Over. I think it's over.
I think it's under.

Speaker 3 I think he's going to go to Cleveland and then he's going to make the Cavs draft Brownie. You think so? Yeah.
Even though Kobe Altman has kind of flexed on him, like just not listening to him.

Speaker 3 I think that's going to happen. I think.

Speaker 3 Damn, the Cavs make a run this year. Like, do you even want LeBron? That's the thing.

Speaker 3 Especially if he wants a match. He's a best fan on this podcast.
Like, you are. Keep this team the way it is.
It's fun to watch. LeBron would ruin everything again.

Speaker 3 He did take them to a championship.

Speaker 3 Won. Their first one ever.
Traymont Green.

Speaker 3 That was bullshit. If you didn't kick.

Speaker 3 Who are you kicking the nuts?

Speaker 3 That was

Speaker 3 incidental. Incidental contact.
Yeah. It was total incidental.
All right, let's do.

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Speaker 3 All right, last one. Aaron Rodgers.

Speaker 3 I hope he's happy. I fell for it again.
So Aaron Rodgers is just, he loves people

Speaker 3 asking the questions. He just giggled at me.
Is he going to retire?

Speaker 3 The picture that he put up, that was Randall Cobb and Devontae Adams with a gap in between them. Did he Photoshop that? No, it was when he had COVID.
Oh, okay. This year.
Which time? Yeah. Yeah.
Jail.

Speaker 3 So

Speaker 3 he had everybody fooled because everyone was like, we've cracked the code, and then he's like, I'm gonna take some more time.

Speaker 3 Actually, if you don't believe my take that Aaron Rodgers is straight up macro doses, mushrooms, and LSD in the offseason, go listen to his most recent interview. Join it here, the 12-day cleanse.

Speaker 3 Yes, give it to us, Billy. The Pancha Karma cleanse, which I don't know if he did all of this, but under the Pancha Karma sort of thing they do, it includes therapeutic vomiting,

Speaker 3 oil embolisms,

Speaker 3 relaxatives, basically with enema? Yeah, they put it up. They put stuff up to clear it out, like a douche type thing.
He's been douching his butt for

Speaker 3 weeks and puking. All the whole.

Speaker 3 And then putting like ghee, which is butter, up his nose.

Speaker 3 Bloodletting, which is like cutting himself? Medieval, yeah. Or leeches.
Dude, you could just call your parents. Yeah.
And then

Speaker 3 eating solely just rice, veggies, and ghee, butter for 12 days. It's just a classic thing like Jack from Twitter does.
Rich people do this shit all the time.

Speaker 3 Whenever they get bored, they just decide to take two weeks to make themselves feel uncomfortable because their life kicks so much ass all the time that they're like, you know what?

Speaker 3 I'm just going to live in a cave and butt funnel salt water for a fortnight and I'm going to come back with some crazy ideas.

Speaker 3 Didn't Zuckerberg do something where he's like, I'm going to start raising like the only thing I eat is things that I can kill with my hands. I kill myself.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 And then

Speaker 3 he was just like, quit after like a couple weeks. Like, this sucks.
Rick Ross got a bull. That was pretty hype.
That was actually sick.

Speaker 3 That was just like a fucking thing. That's how to do it.
Yes. That's how to do it.
But yeah, I fell for it.

Speaker 3 I totally fell for it. I woke up this morning.
He posted it late last night. I woke up this morning.
I saw it. I was like, today's the day.

Speaker 3 Because I think the GM's got a press conference tomorrow. I was like, today's the day.
Aaron Rodgers is out of my life. I can't wait for this.
And just nothing happened. He's the king of

Speaker 3 doing things cryptically and then being like, why is everyone looking into these things?

Speaker 3 Why is the media making a big deal about this? Yeah, no, but the stuff he was doing was it was like very, very intentional. Yeah.

Speaker 3 I did like the message that he wrote on Instagram, though, which is just like, hey, shout out to my

Speaker 3 former fiancé. Yeah.
I learned a lot. Thank you for letting me learn about you.
Yes.

Speaker 3 And so I guess all those rumors about her buying an apartment in Pittsburgh and then Rogers going to be a Steeler next year. Source was Jersey Jerry.
Source was Jersey Jerry.

Speaker 3 No, I heard it somewhere else. There was somebody else that that said that, too.
Probably

Speaker 3 Jersey Jerry.

Speaker 3 It's probably Big Cat from Jersey Jerry. Yeah, probably.
Yeah, it was probably a game of telephone. I absolutely love the whole realtor sources scene.

Speaker 3 That's my second favorite, I think, right behind tracking the private jets is knowing somebody whose wife works in real estate in a city. Oh, guess what?

Speaker 3 The fiancé of the Green Bay Packers quarterback was looking for an apartment last week. Remember, it wasn't the realtor, though.
It was the chef.

Speaker 3 Oh, there's a Jersey Jerry said that there was a chef that was working for Shaylene in Pittsburgh, and Aaron Rodgers is on his way, and we were like, Jerry, I don't think they're together anymore.

Speaker 3 I think there might have been two separate sources. It might have been a chef and also a realtor.
Well, she had to rent an apartment. Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 3 So I don't think that we know anything else about what his plans are. I don't know.
I was just under

Speaker 3 operating under the assumption this whole offseason that he was not going to return to Green Bay.

Speaker 3 Going back to last year, when he wanted to get out, you would think that he would want to get out by now, right? It's cold. He doesn't like playing in the cold.

Speaker 3 But it's all going the other way now. He said like he's had, he was more positive leaving this year than last year.

Speaker 3 I think he probably had maybe through like putting butter up his asshole, he realized that the Packers actually have a really good roster.

Speaker 3 Stop complaining about it because the alternative is going to Denver and having to play Patrick Mahomes and Justin Herbert four times. Yeah, that was a stupid idea that was getting thrown out there.

Speaker 3 Like, I understand that the Broncos are the team that you go to when you want to win a Super Bowl at the end of your career, but why would you want to go to that division right now? Right.

Speaker 3 Plus, they got Drew Locke.

Speaker 3 Yes. And Aaron Rodgers did apologize to me, though.
So he did say

Speaker 3 he wanted to apologize to all the people that got caught in the shrapnel when he made his COVID comments. And so he said, to these people, I just say, I'm sorry.

Speaker 3 I never meant to get you in the middle of it, but you got into it by proxy because of your relation to me.

Speaker 3 I consider myself part of that because

Speaker 3 I was dragged a little bit online when I was demanding he go to jail. People were calling me Libcat and they were getting upset about that.

Speaker 3 So apology accepted from Aaron Rodgers to me. But still should be in jail.
Absolutely should still be in jail. Until he retires from the story.

Speaker 3 I mean, it sounds like he's doing some really freaky shit. He's not

Speaker 3 going to get him in jail.

Speaker 3 I feel like if you had a good relationship when the whole butter-up the asshole thing started, that's something that a solid, rock-solid relationship can probably tolerate for a week. Right.

Speaker 3 And then after a full week, week, when you've gone Monday through Sunday of having somebody assist you by putting, what is it, fermented yak butter up your asshole? Yep.

Speaker 3 At that point, they're probably like, hey, can we try something else? Like maybe a new hobby?

Speaker 3 Well, it really boils down to like, it sounds like, and I don't want to talk about Aaron Rodgers' private life, but it does sound like he just might not have a lot of friends.

Speaker 3 Because I don't know, when I want to clear my head, hey,

Speaker 3 let's go on vacation, have a couple cores light. You could do that and feel gratitude to the people in your life the same as putting butter up your asshole for 12 days.

Speaker 3 Yeah, every rich person should just have somebody that hangs out with them. They don't even really need to be friends.
Just somebody that says, like, yeah, that sounds crazy. What are you doing?

Speaker 3 Just like a bringer down-to-earth guy. It would be great if you could just do a rent-a-crew.
Yeah. And it's like, these are your college buddies.
You got a Sully. You got a...
Or just Tinder for bros.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 You got a Steve. Meet up with somebody, have a hang, maybe play pickup hoops.
And then once you start floating the weird ideas about, like, hey, I need a saltwater enema, they're like, bro,

Speaker 3 there's a game on. Yeah, dude, let's play some beer pong.
Exactly. Right? Like, let's just hang out.
Let's fucking have some fun. Let's flick each other in the dick.
That's what real bros do.

Speaker 3 We don't put butter up our ass. We hit each other in the nuts.
Real hard. I still hope he leaves.
I just want to see Aaron Rodgers in a different uniform. I think that'd be cool.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I very much hope he leaves. Very, very, very much.
And it is crazy. Like, I do think he just probably did this, what's it called, Billy?

Speaker 3 Panchakarma karma cleanse and like this is going to be um a moment that hurts me to say but he probably did the panchakarma cleanse and was like wait i played the vikings the lions and the bears why would i leave that yeah like you get to kick our ass i actually might want to get in in on this the panchakarma cleanse it sounds like it put a good head on our shoulders yeah he started thinking he he he clearly wants back with his ex

Speaker 3 he definitely wants back with shalene after the cleanse how do you do all this stuff and not die though I think they have someone watch, like a lifeguard.

Speaker 3 You need a trained professional to do.

Speaker 3 Someone who's ready to plunge your asshole for butter. You need a spiritual guide.
Yeah. Yeah.
A shaman. Oh, no.

Speaker 3 He's starting to not breathe correctly. Let's get.
Better make his asshole bigger.

Speaker 3 Let's fucking get this land of lakes out of his butt

Speaker 3 before it gets too bad. All right.

Speaker 3 That'll be all time, though, if Aaron Rodgers accidentally killed himself by putting too much butter up his butt. I don't wish for that.
I just wish for him to go to jail. It was much different.

Speaker 3 All right, that was a good recap. Anything else we missed before we get to Hot C Cool Throne? I think that was pretty much everything.

Speaker 3 It was good to be gone, and it was good to also see things happen and not be like, fuck.

Speaker 3 Like, we're missing so much. We got to get back.
Yeah. You know what I mean? I think enough happened where it kind of piled up.
Yeah, right. Where it was like, ah, this is okay.
Fuck it.

Speaker 3 Phil Mickelson is apologizing. Oh, yeah, Phil Mickelson.
He He had an oopsie. Listen, we all make mistakes.
He just kind of, you know what he did?

Speaker 3 He yadda, yada, yada, Saudi Arabia beheading homosexuals. Yes, yes.

Speaker 3 Like this all thing they do. He was like, listen, say what you want about their human rights violations

Speaker 3 and also having 19 of the 20 hijackers in 9-11. But they're going to pay me a shitload of money to go play golf over there.
So who's to say if the regime is truly bad? Yes, yes.

Speaker 3 The Rory, I think, won everything when he said,

Speaker 3 I don't want to kick someone while he's down, obviously, but I thought Phil Mickelson was naive, selfish, egotistical, and ignorant.

Speaker 3 Good thing he didn't kick him when he was down.

Speaker 3 So right now, the Super League in Saudi Arabia, have they tentatively signed Bryson? Bryson is

Speaker 3 done. No,

Speaker 3 it's done. Oh, they ended it? Yeah, Bryson's out.
Bryson announced that he was out.

Speaker 3 I think he realized after Phil was out that he was probably, he had to go.

Speaker 3 I love what a dumbass Bryson is that he finally gets like just a just a hair of public sentiment on his side after the whole let's go Brooksie thing.

Speaker 3 He does you know the the match he kind of like shows a little bit of his personality and then he's like, okay, everyone's on my side.

Speaker 3 I'm going to go basically be an indentured servant for the Saudi regime right now. What a shitload of cash.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Win every tournament.

Speaker 3 All right. Let's do Hot Sea Cool Throne.
That's it. If there's a Saudi sheikh that wants to approach that wants a podcast exclusively, get in touch with us.

Speaker 3 Well, we'll use it as a negotiating tactic like Phil. Yeah.

Speaker 3 The best way to use a negotiating tactic like that is just say it out loud like Phil did. That wasn't very smart.
He's like, oh man, Phil.

Speaker 3 I listened to an interview where he was like, yeah, Phil Mickelson is his own worst enemy

Speaker 3 at all times. Also, just as a general rule of thumb, you shouldn't be trusting professional athletes to get your geopolitical takes.

Speaker 3 That's true. That's a very good point.
Although he also said he pulled the

Speaker 3 context,

Speaker 3 and I said it, I thought I was saying it off the record. Oh.
Well, yeah, because it was an off-the-record quote that was taken out of context. The quote that was in an unauthorized biography, I think.

Speaker 3 But I don't know how you take that quote out because he actually wrapped all the context in the world around that quote. Yeah, he said it all.

Speaker 3 Here's my plan. He said, Saudi Arabia has a lot of things that give me pause, but it could also make me a lot of money.
Right. I think that's all the context that you need.

Speaker 3 Yeah, he was like, I want to make more money, so that's why I'm cool with them like killing a bunch of people.

Speaker 3 I disagree with them dismembering Washington Post journalists, but if they want to sponsor a 17th hole hole-in-one challenge where I get $7 million if I get within 30 feet of the pen, then yes, sign me up.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

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Speaker 3 Hank, hot seat cool thrown. My hot seat are the Olympics.
The Olympics have come and gone. Yeah.
The average total audience was 11.4 million viewers for the 2022,

Speaker 3 and that's a sharp decline. In 2018, it was 19.8 million, which was the previous lowest ever.
Yikes. So they had a serious decline from already a very low number.

Speaker 3 I'm convinced it's the hockey. Like,

Speaker 3 it's hockey not having the pros and not having it as like a tent pole because I just, they came and gone for me.

Speaker 3 I literally, I was like drunk at a bar in Mexico, and I saw the closing ceremonies like, oh, that's interesting.

Speaker 3 And maybe it's a little bit of the Super Bowl going, you know, like longer and

Speaker 3 getting into that like two-week stretch. But yeah, I didn't watch a single,

Speaker 3 I didn't watch a single event. I bet on a curling match.
Shout out, Mr. Rice.

Speaker 3 Real Mr. Pete.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 But yeah,

Speaker 3 they were nothing to me. I agree.

Speaker 3 I think that if you're not going to have the pros playing in the Olympics, you at least need another, You need something that catches people's eyes and catches their attention.

Speaker 3 Because then you're drawn in. If it's Bob Cossa's pink eye, something as silly as that

Speaker 3 gets me involved in the Winter Olympics. We did watch some of the women's hockey.
I watched the gold medal game. I did watch that, yes.

Speaker 3 Yeah, the gold medal game, unfortunately, lost to those fucking Canucks.

Speaker 3 Overall, the only event worth watching, I thought, was the double luge. Did you watch any of the double luge? I did not.
You guys need to watch some highlights of the double luge.

Speaker 3 It's the funniest event. I have no idea how it became a sport.
You know, the luge, you lay on your back, and then you go feet first down the ice.

Speaker 3 The double luge is just you lay on your back on the sled, and then another dude lays on top of you. I like it.
Just like stacked up, and then you go down the ice.

Speaker 3 And like, the best of all time in the double luge are, I think they're these Lithuanian brothers that just grew up doing the double luge together the entire time.

Speaker 3 It's such a fucking funny event to watch. Yes.
I mean, I love those niche events. It's like

Speaker 3 there's probably probably 100 people who do this in the world. So congrats.
There's,

Speaker 3 it was like 15 years ago where I think the Winter Olympics really embraced some of the extreme sports and they added a bunch of stuff to it. Yeah, the X-Game stuff.

Speaker 3 They need some new sports in the Winter Olympics. Yeah.
Maybe even switch some of the Summer Olympic sports that don't need to be held in the summer.

Speaker 3 Just like throw the Winter Olympics a bone either or put them in a country that doesn't have civil rights abuses. That'd be good, too.
But damn, PFT taking a stand on space part of my take.

Speaker 3 Sorry, Listen, I went out on vacation. I saw the world a little bit.
Really opened my eyes. U.S.
Virgin Eye. I've got some perspective.

Speaker 3 You're traveled. All right, you're cool thrown.
I have another hot seat, if that's all right. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 It's me. My self is on the hot seat.
JJ Watt thinks I hate him, and that's kind of scary. You do? Well, no, so this is our

Speaker 3 guy. You do.

Speaker 3 No, no, Hank. There have been so many times when me and Big Cat have said nice things about JJ Watt, and you're like, you guys are so soft.
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Yeah.

Speaker 3 I want to explain this because I did, as, again, I was on vacation as well, and I had a lot of time to do some reflection, watching the sunset.

Speaker 3 We tweeted a clip from Friday, or whatever it was, Wednesday show with TJ Watt talking about the Watt family.

Speaker 3 We tweeted on Twitter, and then JJ Watt responded to that clip saying, but does Hank still hate me?

Speaker 3 And I was thinking about it, and it's not that I hate JJ Watt at all. The reality of the situation,

Speaker 3 thinking back on this show, a lot of funny times, legitimately, the hardest I've ever laughed thinking about our group text.

Speaker 3 This was way back when the uh hey JJ was in its prime, and we were talking about how we were going to basically charity shame JJ Watt into coming on the podcast was the hardest I've ever laughed at.

Speaker 3 You guys just going back and forth, busting balls. And the hey, JJ segment was so funny.
So it's not that I hate JJ Watt personally.

Speaker 3 I just hate that that's not a thing anymore because he's such a nice guy and whatever. Well, also, you got to move move on from it.
I know, I know, I know, but that's that.

Speaker 3 I don't hate JJ Wall personally. I just, I'm like, I miss those days a little bit.

Speaker 3 But you realize that if we had stayed doing the Ahai JJ thing, we would have just become the world's biggest assholes. And also just lame.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 And like, wait, you're doing this joke for six years now? Yeah, it'd be like if we brought back Harambe. Right.
Never. We killed him with that shirt.

Speaker 3 Sick of it. Actually, that summer was Harambe and Ahy JJ.
Yeah, it was just a perfect.

Speaker 3 And it was great. Best summer of my life.
Yeah. It was a sick summer.
Picks out for Harambe. That was a goat summer.
That was. It was a good summer.
That was. But, yeah,

Speaker 3 you do hate him.

Speaker 3 We had the whole Russell Wilson, J.J. Watt discussion.
You're like, Russell Wilson's way worse. I mean, J.J.
Watts' way worse. I think you said Russell Wilson's way cooler.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 You did. We had that whole...
That had nothing to do with JJ. That's not a hate thing.
That's not a hate thing, though. No, J.J.
Watt's right. We stand with J.J.
Yeah, absolutely. Oh, hey, Hank.

Speaker 3 Oh, no. Whoops.
Didn't even do that.

Speaker 3 Is that it?

Speaker 3 Cool. I have a cool throw on

Speaker 3 drunk ideas. Oh, yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 PFT, Big Hat came in, said he had one. PFT came in and he said one.
I said, hey, let's hear yours. Let's do it.

Speaker 3 Yeah, mine, I think Hank will actually appreciate this drunk idea. It's not really a drunk idea.

Speaker 3 It's a high idea. But I wasn't high.
I was on an airplane. God.

Speaker 3 So, yeah, you were high. I deal with some issues when I get on a plane.
And I know that Hank deals with some of these too. I get the worst gas and bloating ever when I get on a plane.

Speaker 3 Whenever it goes up in the air, it doesn't matter what I've had to eat, doesn't matter what I'm currently doing on that plane. If I'm like sleeping, if I'm awake, if I'm getting up to use a bag,

Speaker 3 no matter what, if I'm on a plane, my stomach feels like it's about to explode. Your bag of potato chips.
Yeah, exactly. It's the air pressure, I think, that changes in your stomach.

Speaker 3 And there's nothing you can do about it. You just have to fart.
And my idea was to get fart fart pants, to invent fart pants. And it would just consist of pants that were soundproof.

Speaker 3 So you could wear them. They were maybe like airtight.
You could wear them. You could bust ass because when I fart on an airplane, it's never smelly.
It doesn't stink.

Speaker 3 It's just air and it's just super loud. Wait, what happens with the airtight pants when the pressure?

Speaker 3 Yeah,

Speaker 3 they balloon up a little bit too. I don't know.
Listen, I'm not a physicist. It's like, hey, dude, are those fart pants? No.

Speaker 3 Why are they fucking so huge? You're poking holes in the pants. This is the exact same thing.
No, that's what we need, is a literal hole in the pants.

Speaker 3 It's the exact same thing that happened when I came up with the idea of pants that charge your cell phone in the pocket when you put them in there. There are a million reasons why it will never work.

Speaker 3 No, I think it could work. We just got to

Speaker 3 figure it out.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I'm not trying to naysay. I'm trying to tell you, hey, when we go to Shark Tank, let's have this not actually airproof.
Yeah, well,

Speaker 3 this is actually a good prep because. Oh, yeah, Cubes is coming by.
Yeah, I'll have to sell them on fart pants.

Speaker 3 Now, it might not even be airtight it might just be soundproof pants yeah you might have some of that stuff that you put on the walls in recording studios where you can just like sit there calmly fart and nobody knows about it what about uh like a gun silencer for your butthole that's just yeah you put it in your butthole and it's just like it's a gun silencer no it's like you know like you ever smoke indoors when you you put a bunch of tissue paper in the in the toilet paper thing maybe that's what you do

Speaker 3 stuff a bunch of toilet paper in your ass for your butthole that's actually the prototype Next time you go on an airplane, stuff a bunch of toilet paper in your asshole, see how it goes, and then we go from there.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I'm sure, like, going through the x-ray machine and that scanner, they're like, oh, this guy's got a lot of stuff jammed up as that. You can do it after that.

Speaker 3 You can do it in the, you know, I like the idea.

Speaker 3 I think the pants. I think that there's a place in the market for pants that will deaden all sounds.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 I also, this is unrelated, but kind of related. I was on a boat in Mexico, and I thought, I was very drunk, but I was like, if I ever own a boat, how funny it would be to just name it the fart box.

Speaker 3 That'd be pretty funny. Like, people would just be like, what? That'd be very funny, actually.

Speaker 3 You want to hop on the fart box for a little, for a little Saturday afternoon. How do people go about naming their boats? They can just call it whatever they want.
Yeah,

Speaker 3 I think they just...

Speaker 3 And they try to make it classy, but the fart box, like, you would remember the fart box. For sure.
And you'd also, it'd be fun to get up, like, like, what'd you do this weekend?

Speaker 3 Had a hell of a time on the fart box.

Speaker 3 so just some no one steal that from me can you they're not like horses right you can name boats anything well you do fart box two yeah maybe i do fart box two and people like what happened to the first one yeah you do fart box one three and four yeah's like wait fart box two is out there somewhere um my drunk idea wasn't even well i was drunk but it was more of a full idea i think restaurants should offer so it was a sober idea but you were drunk it was a drunk idea but it was more it was less about being drunk and more about being full.

Speaker 3 But it was an idea you had when you were drunk. Correct, but the drunkness wasn't what brought on the idea.
The fullness was. Got it.

Speaker 3 Restaurants should offer an oversized sweatshirt or even a blanket so that you can keep eating through that like, oh man, I'm full. This like sucks.
Period.

Speaker 3 I think it actually, remember when we went to Dave and Buster's and I was, and I got a sweatshirt and I was like, great, now I can eat everything. Or just a smock.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's like a giant tarp to a poncho. Yeah, it's a blanket, a smock, or a sweatshirt.
But a sweatshirt, you can then advertise your restaurants so they walk out.

Speaker 3 They're like, hey, had a great time. But it should be an option like right somewhere between like appetizers, maybe right after appetizers, like, sir,

Speaker 3 are you planning on eating past full? Well, yeah, always.

Speaker 3 Can we offer you this 3XL sweatshirt so that you can come a black sweatshirt so it looks a little slimming slimming and

Speaker 3 keep eating? Maybe it's got some pinstripes on it going vertically. Keep eating.
That's not a bad idea. I think most buffet places should have snuggies available.
Yeah. Because

Speaker 3 you need to take a quick nap in between your third and fourth plate. Same principle, which is, yeah, you can overeat, overindulge.
Nobody sees the bulge come out. Yeah, I like it.

Speaker 3 See, I like you helping me. I'm not offended by you fixing my idea.
So these pants. You were with my pants.
So the pants.

Speaker 3 The pants could actually play a part in this. Sure.
Where you can sit around farting while you eat. Yeah.
Okay. Yeah, you're just walking around in a moon man suit.
Yeah. Why not?

Speaker 3 Just cover everything up.

Speaker 3 I really do think I would eat so much because you know that feeling when you're at a restaurant, a nice restaurant, maybe you got a button-down shirt, you're dressed up, and you're like, do I really want to keep eating here?

Speaker 3 Yes, because it's delicious, but no, because it sucks to be like so constricted. Give me a fucking sweatshirt.

Speaker 3 I never feel more like, you know, that gif of Cam Newton where he does the, okay, it's time to go. Like when I'm super full at the end of a nice dinner and they're like, you want dessert? Yeah.

Speaker 3 And I'm like, yeah, you know what?

Speaker 3 I can sack up and power through this.

Speaker 3 I was actually getting hated on by the group I was with on vacation because every night we went out, I did the desserts and I just, I literally was like, do them all.

Speaker 3 So every night we had like seven desserts. Yeah, that's a lot of desserts.
But it was great every single time. I ate two ice cream cones on the last night after eating a full dinner.
It was delicious.

Speaker 3 Is that it, Hank? All right. PFT, your hot seat cool thrown? My hot seat is the queen.
Uh-oh. The queen is on the hot seat.
I think she's 97 years old, and she's got COVID, unfortunately.

Speaker 3 So everyone's watching. Long time AWS.
What's going to happen?

Speaker 3 Huge stoolie, the queen. Thoughts, prayers up to her.
I think she might be asymptomatic, but at that age,

Speaker 3 how can anybody know if you're asymptomatic? You're 97. You probably are extremely symptomatic every day when you wake up of something.
You're just old. Old, yeah.

Speaker 3 So we're keeping her in our thoughts and prayers right now.

Speaker 3 Do you think the queen, though, like, I was thinking about this.

Speaker 3 COVID can't be that bad compared to, like, everything she's been through in her life. Like, her son is a pedophile.

Speaker 3 That's pretty bad. She's tough.
No, she's been through tough shit. She's a tough, tough woman.
She's a tough cookie. I did learn a fun fact about the queen this weekend, though.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Did you know that the queen technically owns every mute swan in the world? No, I didn't. It's a mute swan.
It's like the white swans. Oh, gosh.
The big white swans.

Speaker 3 She is in charge of all those swans. Anywhere you see one, it belongs to the queen.
Damn. Yeah.
So that is cool. Who's that like Pablo Escobar's hippos? It might be.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I just, I'm curious who gets all the mute swans when she dies. The next queen.

Speaker 3 Or King. No, it's King, right? It's William.
It's William. William.
No, Harry disavowed.

Speaker 3 Harry looks so much like Carson Wentz when he took that picture with the Super Bowl trophy. It's Charles.
Oh, yes, Charles. Charles.
You're right. Charles.
It's Charles. It's Harry's dad.
Harry was.

Speaker 3 Oh, that guy's still alive? Yeah, Princess Dye's old.

Speaker 3 Big ears. Yeah.
I thought he got disavowed. Big ears, Charles.
Yeah. No, Andrew, because he's the pedophile.
I thought Charles. They probably divorced.
Oh, yeah, Charles did kind of because of.

Speaker 3 He got divorced. Well,

Speaker 3 that and

Speaker 3 didn't he say some shitty things to William when he got married?

Speaker 3 And they were having the kid. Wait, we're really.
No, no, no, but

Speaker 3 that's Harry. Harry, Harry, yeah.
He may have said things to him. He might have said some fucked up shit.
But Harry's out. But I don't think you can cancel the monarch.
No, they've done

Speaker 3 comments. They've done way worse shit.
They're like, you want to think this is bad? Don't go back through our real Twitter history. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah, so I think it's, you're right. I think it is Charles.
Yeah. Even though he got divorced, I think they changed that rule.
They changed that rule just for him. Yeah.

Speaker 3 And then Harry disavowed, right? William would be

Speaker 3 the next. And then.
They should just skip Charles. Yeah, they should.
They should go to William. They should go to Little Kid.
Little Kid kings are awesome.

Speaker 3 When it's like five years old, it's like, you're the king. Yeah.

Speaker 3 You could actually give him power. Yeah.
Like serious power, like throwback power. Yes.
Yeah. Where he can invade.
He can decide everything. Yeah, he can invade countries and shit, start wars.

Speaker 3 I think we just did like the plot to season two of Game of Thrones. I would watch.
I mean, are you saying like if there was a reality show about a child king? Yeah.

Speaker 3 How would the content? Yes, the content would be great. The content would be great.

Speaker 3 All right, and your cool throne? And then my cool throne is true love.

Speaker 3 So we didn't get a chance to talk about this last week, but on Valentine's Day, it's reported that Stefan Diggs treated himself to having two girls in the same hotel, but but different rooms and didn't tell them that the other was also having their Valentine's Day.

Speaker 3 Now, that's according to Waggs Unfiltered. I'm pretty sure that's a credible source.

Speaker 3 So, yeah, he had two different girls in two different hotel rooms on Valentine's Day, and he managed to get away with it, which is incredible.

Speaker 3 That's like a sitcom situation,

Speaker 3 where he like sprints back and forth, goes into one room, and calls the girl by the other girl's name accidentally. Then they meet each other in the hallway, and then they like team up against him.

Speaker 3 Yes, you're absolutely right. It is.
It's like, yeah, it's uh, like even Stevens does that on Valentine's Day in like eighth grade. I never watched that show, so that was probably really wrong.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but I mean, this honestly sounds like a whole lot of work, and I'm looking at the pictures of the hotel rooms that he has, they make my setup in the Bass Pro Shop Pyramid look like child's play, probably like 300 rows in each room.

Speaker 3 That's just a lot of work. That shows me good time management, that shows me attention to detail.
He's doing it all. I'm moving him up on my fantasy rankings for next year.
Yes, absolutely.

Speaker 3 Um, Stefan Diggs, way to go, dude, straightest receiver in in the league besides DK.

Speaker 3 Yes, yes.

Speaker 3 DK, wait, was DK in the news recently? Oh, no, he said Tyreek Hill. He's faster than Tyreek Hill.

Speaker 3 I think that's wrong. I wouldn't do that.
In the 100, I think. Yeah, like Usain Bolt.
In the 100. Tyreek was so fucking fast in college and high school track.
He ran actual track.

Speaker 3 Tyreek short distance, 100%.

Speaker 3 But DK might beat him out. In like a 200, 100%.
This is good because we're negging him, so they have to do it. Yeah, this.
I think Tyreek Tyreek smokes him. The stride length.
He smokes him.

Speaker 3 And a 200. Oh, wait.
I'm looking up Tyreek Hill's stats. He ran 109.98.
Yes. That's pretty fast.
He was so fast. I think he ran in college even, but I know in high school he was so fast.

Speaker 3 He was one of those guys who could have done very well if he just went straight track. Correct.
Yeah, 9.98 is ridiculous. I think DK's was like 10.4.
So nice try.

Speaker 3 Never happened, bro. 10.4, 100? Yeah, remember he competed last summer.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it didn't go well.

Speaker 3 All right, my hot seat is St. Patrick's Day coming up.
You got to buy your part of my take merch. We got all new shirts.
Parcel Sports Store has got everything in it.

Speaker 3 Like, this is probably the last week you can buy it, right? To get it in time? Yeah. So do it.
Bye, bye, bye. You want to be wearing a green shirt on

Speaker 3 March 18th? No. Look like a fool.
Also, hot seat Hank, because he just left, and I think he's got diarrhea. Yeah, he texted me.
He's got diarrhea. He needs some of the Confirmed diarrhea.

Speaker 3 Anytime Hank just rushes out of the studio and then doesn't come back for 15 minutes, actually, let's call him real quick. Stomach in shambles.

Speaker 3 It's always text me when they start doing ads.

Speaker 3 All right, I'm going to call him and I'm going to say, hey, we're about to do ads. Where are you? All right.

Speaker 3 He's going to get mad at me. No.

Speaker 3 I mean, that's what it always is whenever Hank leaves, just abruptly. He's got a butt issue.

Speaker 3 Oh, I hear skateboarding. Skateboarding back down.
I don't hear this. Oh, we didn't find out about his best man speech.
Oh, he said he nailed it. We could talk about it on vacation in FAQs.

Speaker 3 We didn't actually have any reason to call you there.

Speaker 3 We just knew that you were diarrhea. Anytime you rush out.
How are you feeling?

Speaker 3 Stomach in shambles? Shambles. All right, so we haven't done anything since you left.
Oh, great.

Speaker 3 All right, my cool throne. I mean,

Speaker 3 we were talking about it, and I was like sweating. I'm sure you can see it on the camera on video, but I was like just trying to get through my hot seat cool cool throne because it was bad.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 All right, my cool throne is the internet. The internet is on my cool throne because the internet did it again.

Speaker 3 If you missed it, I don't think most people missed it, but there was a photographer at the Rams Super Bowl parade that fell off of a stage, and it only became a big story because there was a clip of Matthew Stafford

Speaker 3 basically seeing her fall off the stage and then turn around and be like, oh, I don't want anything to do with that. And Kelly Stafford went and helped her.

Speaker 3 She ended ended up breaking her back, which is horrible. Like, it was a horrible thing.

Speaker 3 People were dragging Matthew Stafford, even though he was drunk. It's like, what? I mean, it's not like he saw her falling and was like, didn't say anything.

Speaker 3 It was after she fell that he like looked up. It was just an all-time, not a good look.
Yeah, right. So everyone was dragging him.

Speaker 3 And then this woman,

Speaker 3 she

Speaker 3 had a GoFundMe. The Staffords have said that they're going to chip in to pay for all of her medical expenses.
Great story.

Speaker 3 Except, of course, the internet is the internet. Someone decided, hey, this woman who literally just broke her back doesn't deserve this GoFundMe money.
Looked up her old tweets.

Speaker 3 Not great tweets by her from about 10 years ago. But it was like, it was just such a,

Speaker 3 I remember it all taking place. when I was on vacation and I explained it to the people I was with and they all were like, wait, really?

Speaker 3 That can't be real. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Like what you said is like, yeah, Matthew stafford watched a woman fall break her back there was a gofund me and then the internet canceled her because she said some racist shit 10 years ago yeah no moments like that when you explain exactly what happened on the internet to people they give you this look that's like you spend all day on there like that's where you are all the time on on the internet it sounds awful and it is awful like that's i i kind of feel bad for her because obviously her back is broken her back is broken and there's no way to like foresee like you breaking your back getting your your old tweets dragged up but she probably should have tweeted those things no she shouldn't have but we we probably should like we should not we should not know who this person is who is the person who was like oh man fuck this chick who's got a broken back

Speaker 3 we gotta we gotta drag her ass it has to be like an ex-boyfriend or something what and he probably used to like all the tweets what it's it asks you it begs the question what injury would stop the internet from canceling someone somebody's gonna be paralyzed no someone's gonna die and then get canceled after they die.

Speaker 3 That's happening. Fuck that guy.
Yeah, I'm glad he's dead. Oh, my God.
It was just like,

Speaker 3 what are we doing here?

Speaker 3 Why is this now a thing where she broke her back?

Speaker 3 She is a private citizen and she broke her back. And we're like, fuck her.
And shout out, by the way, to Dan Orlovsky, who is Matt Stafford's like mentor, right?

Speaker 3 They played together for a long time in Detroit. This is a prime example of being alone with a woman.
She's laying down in front of you.

Speaker 3 you turn around you walk away yeah he's like fuck that no chance kelly was like thank you matt that's very respectful way to go matthew matthew matthew uh billy hot seat cool throne my hot seat are hanks specifically hank the tank yes uh hank the tank is a 500 pound black bear who has been breaking into homes in the in california somewhere i forgot the exact place but breaking into tahoe lake tahoe breaking into a ton of homes breaking entering, full home invasions, and just eating everyone's food.

Speaker 3 He's probably got diarrhea too.

Speaker 3 Yeah. 100 times the police have been called for Hank the Tank.
He's awesome. I love him.
He doesn't know how to hunt because he's so dependent on humans.

Speaker 3 He cannot be relocated to the wilderness or he would die of starvation because he's completely has zero motivation to you know plus he just it sounds like he just likes good food well and he's got good taste the quotes were so good from this article they're like he is completely uh he's not afraid of humans whatsoever.

Speaker 3 And like someone was like, he doesn't growl. He doesn't make ugly faces.
He just sits there and eats.

Speaker 3 Yeah, and bear videos are so awesome when they're breaking into homes because the doorway always explodes. It looks like it looks like a bomb went off.

Speaker 3 And then there's just this big fat bear that just kind of waddles through and then kind of rolls around on the ground looking for food inside. He's not a violent bear at all.

Speaker 3 In fact, I think that Hank the Tank is like, I think we can all root for Hank the Tank, right? Yeah, no, I do not want Hank the Tank to die.

Speaker 3 The cops are looking the other way at this point when they get a call about Hank the Tank. It's also great just reading about a bear who's like, the living is so good, I'm not going to hibernate.

Speaker 3 I'm going to go against everything that's like my body and in thousands and hundreds of thousands of years that have been built into me because, dude, this street down the block, they get pizzas on Thursdays and I eat.

Speaker 3 And if you want a solution to this, it's pretty simple. You just, you bring back the days of baking pies and putting them in your windowsill to cool off.

Speaker 3 Then Hank comes up, eats the pie on the windowsill, he moves along. Yeah, has no one thought about just putting out a big honey pot and having his hands stuck in there? Yeah.
Why not?

Speaker 3 Billy, this bear, he's way too big, right? He's way too fat. So reply, reply guy, heard it from a guy.
Turns out he's breaking into people's wine cellars. Oh, he's getting drunk.

Speaker 3 He's getting hammered.

Speaker 3 I mean, this bear kicks ass. I mean, if you look at like bears that eat trash and stuff, they're usually not that large.
Like, they're not well-fed. They're like a little more like raccoon-ish.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Like, skinny and look a little, like, gaunt. But this bear is fat as fuck.
He's getting, he's on the sheesh. What's the uh, he's a black bear? Black bear.
How, how much do they usually weigh?

Speaker 3 Uh, he's a very large black bear. Very large.
I love this guy. In the, like, you know, in the northeast, you usually see 300-pound black bears at the largest.

Speaker 3 But this is like a five, this is big bear. Fucking love him.

Speaker 3 He looks like he's a grizzly bear. Yeah.
Grizzly bears like run average 500. And he's, he's that.
Brown bears, yeah. We must protect Hank the Tank at all costs.
Yeah, no, he's going to die.

Speaker 3 He's got some eyes. If you look at his eyes,

Speaker 3 he's going to have a heart attack.

Speaker 3 He's going to be sick. What's his BMI?

Speaker 3 Probably insane.

Speaker 3 Hope he doesn't get COVID. He's drinking

Speaker 3 super expensive bottles of wine to people's wine cellars. Damn.
Yeah, I.

Speaker 3 Listen, I'm getting bad premonitions about how this Hank the Tank thing ends. Yeah.
But please, no, he's

Speaker 3 not going to be a sales. If you're a game winner.
Ah, good point, Hank. Yeah.
Once you name it,

Speaker 3 we have to make t-shirts. We should probably make t-shirts while he's alive.
Make them now. So that way we can make more money when he dies.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 3 Because now people are aware of it, and then it's a tragedy, and we can do a whole thing and take another vacation off Hank the Tank.

Speaker 3 Shout out the H-Man. It's not Hitler, Harambe.

Speaker 3 What are you going to say? Speaking of, was that speaking of Hitler? No, I don't know. I don't want to blow up their spot.
It's kind of funny, though.

Speaker 3 What?

Speaker 3 There may have been a couple t-shirts sent out. You know, because we had the Harambe Champs merch made.
Yeah. We took off the Champs and sold the regular ones.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Some people may have got the ones with Champs. Oh, no.

Speaker 3 AFC East,

Speaker 3 AFC Champs. Oh, no.

Speaker 3 I don't know if it was everyone, but I did see one picture. Oh, that just triggered something in my brain.

Speaker 3 I'm so happy that we had a vacation when the internet decided to leave Patrick Mahomes out of the top five quarterbacks. That was awesome.
Well, that was so stupid. It wasn't the Ocho.

Speaker 3 It was the Ocho brothers. It was the Ocho.
Yeah. It was the same Ocho that said, like, hey, you can't let athletes smoke weed in the Olympics because they might throw the javelin and hit somebody.

Speaker 3 It was, yeah. What a moment.
What a moment. Your cool throne, Billy.
My cool throne is the eye of the tiger. So, me and Liam were talking about this earlier.

Speaker 3 Some guy broke into a zoo and scaled multiple fences and just kept saying like into the tiger enclosure and turns out Liam went to high school with the guy he's a 508 Worcester guy yes he was like on the JV football team like I think he's a year or two younger than me wait he was only on the JV he wasn't even varsity yeah now he's breaking into tiger cages and like it was I saw

Speaker 3 I saw like somebody tweeted out the news clip of it because I wanted to see if it was the kid and it definitely is but he like acted like he just did nothing wrong either.

Speaker 3 He's like, Yeah, I just wanted to go like look at the tiger. He's like, I don't know, look at it.
Can he get arrested?

Speaker 3 He's like, I'm a big cat. Yeah, he got arrested.
I'm a big cat enthusiast.

Speaker 3 Like, I just wanted to look into the tiger's eyes because you hear that you can, like, when you look into the tiger's eyes, you see its soul, and you see thousands of years. What are the changes?

Speaker 3 Meth wasn't involved in this situation. I think it was a hallucinogen.
I don't think it was meth.

Speaker 3 I don't know. There's some because he wasn't trying to fight the tiger.
And he didn't die. Didn't die.
Wow. He made it into the last line.

Speaker 3 Didn't Matthew McConaughey do this? He did. That was with a cougar.
Outside, was it Rio Catorse? Rio Corse. Oh.
His Rio Catorse. And he saw a mountain lion.

Speaker 3 He got into the cage with it and just sent it vibes. Yeah.
He just gave it positive vibes. So maybe that's all the guy was doing, just sending some vibes back and forth.

Speaker 3 All right. Good hot seat, Cool Thrones.
Let's get to Aaron Andrews and Carissa Thompson. PFD.
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Speaker 3 Now, here is Aaron Andrews and Carissa Thompson.

Speaker 3 Okay, we now welcome on very special guests. It is Carissa Thompson, Aaron Aaron Andrews, and Aaron's dog, Howie, who's going to be around.
So you might hear some breathing.

Speaker 3 That's not me breathing into the mic. Yeah.
Good dog. All right, so

Speaker 3 very excited to do that. Hi, guys.
Yes.

Speaker 3 You guys have the Calm Down podcast. You calm down.
We have to, I mean, you're stepping into our turf, so we should probably start there.

Speaker 3 Well, I think you guys are okay in terms of your position in the podcast. We didn't get here by playing nice.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 We came on. Oh, I know.
Why do you think I've never done anything with you guys before?

Speaker 3 Are you saying that you don't think there's at least one calm-down podcast listener who you have taken from us who's like, I'm done with this part of my take bullshit?

Speaker 3 I feel like we might have different audiences, but not competing audiences. I feel like we could have some of the same.

Speaker 3 Yeah, we got our demo numbers the other day. Okay.

Speaker 3 You guys are big with 23-year-old women. Well,

Speaker 3 they want us.

Speaker 3 90% of the audience is women for us. Yeah, it's crazy.
We actually got our numbers back, and

Speaker 3 a lot of aspiring broadcast journalists

Speaker 3 list the part of my take. Oh, really? So it is a war.
Yeah, it's a turf war. Well, you know,

Speaker 3 that's the only war that we're willing to have right now.

Speaker 3 Interesting, huh? Because whenever we ask people what they want us to talk about, and we're like, aren't they overhearing our career advice? But they keep asking. So, I mean, I don't know.

Speaker 3 Maybe we're doing something right. So I have listened to the podcast a little bit.
Thank you.

Speaker 3 And so what I liked about it is the stuff that's kind of outside of sports and like the just day-to-day stuff. Yeah.
You know, like what?

Speaker 3 I like the pimple talking. The shit that drives my husband crazy.
The pimple popping talk. Oh, yeah.
That's how you're a whole situation. I'm dying again.

Speaker 3 And I've got kind of like a formal event on Thursday, and I'm like, this could go one of two ways. This could turn into a real, it's already like a fun divot, but it's like really in there.

Speaker 3 And I think it's been in there since last year.

Speaker 3 If I have enough copy,

Speaker 3 how much dip do you use?

Speaker 3 Yeah. Yeah, what are you? Copenhagen and Red Man? Snap, snap, snap.
Actually, married to an NHL player, we don't do dip in our house. Yeah, oh, he doesn't.

Speaker 3 No, he doesn't.

Speaker 3 No, he doesn't, actually. We know a lot of people that do.

Speaker 3 But he does. But no, he doesn't.
When he walks the dog, he never. No.

Speaker 3 The other night. Yeah, sorry to break that to you.
No, he's not here. I swear everything else.
It's dip.

Speaker 3 He told me he doesn't dip. Oh, he doesn't.
I would find out. Right.
When we were at dinner the other night, we found out that hot Swedish girls dip. And we were blown away by this.

Speaker 3 And I was like, when my husband played for,

Speaker 3 yeah, when my husband played for the Rangers for a hot second, we had a good group of Swedes on the team.

Speaker 3 And one night we went out to, we went out, guys were out of town, kind of had a Christmas party. And these girls were smoking hot, first of all.
And then they were all taking dip out of their purses.

Speaker 3 And like, I was like, what? My mind is fucking blown.

Speaker 3 Then we were trading.

Speaker 3 It was actually a fans-only page. Yeah, but only fans.
That's how not cool I am.

Speaker 3 I said members only. I was doing a Devontae Adams interview, and like there was a guy on the crew that was wearing a members-only jacket, and I was like, whoa, that's really inappropriate.

Speaker 3 And he's like, why? And I was like, isn't that like the girl fan thing? And Devontae was like, no, that's only fans for us. I'm like, shit, I got it wrong.
No, it was only like old dudes.

Speaker 3 Florida golf clubs.

Speaker 3 Right. I have a funny relevant for the Super Bowl Matthew Stafford story about.

Speaker 3 No, it's not. It's Matthew.
Well, we actually, I think we need to talk about that because you two are big J journalists. And

Speaker 3 what means that you're supposed to be above all the

Speaker 3 back channel and like, you know, the favoring certain people.

Speaker 3 You're friends with Matthew. That's not the only thing.
We would never root for a quarterback

Speaker 3 just because we knew them.

Speaker 3 You have to be impartial.

Speaker 3 You have to be impartial. I am impartial.
You're Rob Lowe. Wait, so tell the Matt Stafford story.
Matthew Stafford story.

Speaker 3 So, well, we were talking about fans only, and I think it was my sister's segment.

Speaker 3 I don't know what it is.

Speaker 3 My sister was asking about it. We were all, they were with us out in the summer, and my sister goes, wait, is this the same thing as Cameo? And Matthew said, no, Cameo is like, happy birthday.

Speaker 3 And fans only are OnlyFans is happy birthday.

Speaker 3 It was one of the funniest things that stayed with me. Do you guys have a guy who's addicted to it? Oh, I don't know anything about it.
I'm going to talk about it right now.

Speaker 3 No, his name is Glenny Balls.

Speaker 3 He probably follows you both. Yes, I don't have a fans-only account or an OnlyFans account.
But you guys, if you're starting a podcast, you should have a name for your fans of your podcast.

Speaker 3 I've heard that. So, the fans-only, I think, would be good.

Speaker 3 Fans only? I don't want to get it. We'll screw it up, and then all of a sudden they're going to be like, wow, these girls are desperate.
They now have an OnlyFans account. This is weird.

Speaker 3 So, what should our,

Speaker 3 I don't know, listeners be called if I'm going to calm down. You guys are creative.
Calm down.

Speaker 3 I don't know. We'll think about it.
Calm chowder. I don't know.
That was bad. That was a bad one.

Speaker 3 He was trying to get it. No bad ideas.
I knew it was bad even before I said it, and I was like, fuck it. I'm going to wing it.

Speaker 3 I did want to bring up, you said that you were friends with all these players.

Speaker 3 You got a little heat for hugging Aaron Rodgers.

Speaker 3 I actually would like to give you different heat for that. Like, he's not vaccinated.
You spread COVID. You should be in jail with him.
Oh, wow. Is he in jail? Is that pretty? He should be.

Speaker 3 It was disgusting. It was disgusting.
I looked at it a different way. People are like, oh, she's just like, this is not professional.

Speaker 3 I was like, no, this is, she just killed like probably a thousand grandmothers in Green Bay. Sure.
For the two seconds, right?

Speaker 3 Where was this argument when I've hugged everybody else? Yeah, and I flew out on Choice Plane.

Speaker 3 No, where was this argument when I've hugged everybody else? Like, it's just crazy. I'm not here to talk about the past.
No, we're talking about the future specific

Speaker 3 situation. That was kind of crazy, though, because, like, I don't know, it's like...

Speaker 3 You talk to these guys all the time.

Speaker 3 PFT was obviously joking, but like we find ourselves in a spot, weird spot where we root for our teams, but then we also are like, wait, we really want our friends to do well, right?

Speaker 3 Yeah, and it's hard to be like, yeah, like we want our friends to do well. We feel bad for them when they lose.

Speaker 3 There's not a lot of these guys, and I don't know how you all feel, but there's not a lot of these guys that you don't like. I mean, and I was trying to explain it to someone.

Speaker 3 We're with them during the highest and some of the lowest times of their career.

Speaker 3 I was telling Carissa, you know, there's two guys, I remember their faces where I was like, I'm going to barf on the sidelines. And it was Matt Ryan when the Patriots started coming back in Houston.

Speaker 3 and it was aaron in in um in green bay what play well he's used to losing well no but you know what i'm saying and and it was just like you look over and you're supposed to be able to give the reaction you want to see what they look like so you can say hey hey get this shot of rogers get this shot of ryan so yeah i mean i feel like because we've seen so much of the highs and the lows sometimes after these things these guys are just like thanks yeah so it has nothing to do with me it's they're just like thank god it's over so what you said though you imply that there are a couple people you might not like why don't we do guys we don't like this is a trap

Speaker 3 many guys i don't like dan marina he's great no we don't like he's on this side of the task whoa

Speaker 3 though you know what let us ask you a question why don't you like dam marina uh because he's bad he's a joke why is he bad

Speaker 3 why is he a joke because he's a he's an idiot no we interviewed him he did not it was it's very hard to screw up an interview with us because like we don't really take it that seriously.

Speaker 3 Yeah, no, you guys are already crushing it. Well, actually, Carissa has already screwed up one interview with me.
No, you guys fucked it up. You didn't do your research right.

Speaker 3 They said I went to Washington State. They're like, I had five questions.
She's a community college girl. Yeah, exactly.
Washington State. Grossmont, Mesa.
You know what? I'm out in the community.

Speaker 3 No, I called Larry David and you wouldn't let us talk to him. No, no, I called him and hey, La.
He's busy.

Speaker 3 Let's face it. Wait, what's right? What's the Chris Rock? Yeah, let's call him.
What's it called? What's the Chris Rock?

Speaker 3 By the way, last side time, the only person he asked about. He's like, hey, still talk to Aaron Andrews? I'm like, every day, Larry? What is going on? Thanks for listening.
Ask guests to my wedding.

Speaker 3 wedding. Wait, hold on.

Speaker 3 What's the Chris Rock joke? What's up? Be careful. Oh, be very careful.
No, no, no.

Speaker 3 It was about me. It was about me.
It was about community college. And he goes, you know why community college is great? Because everyone in the community can go.
No, that was. That was Chris Tucker.

Speaker 3 Chris Tucker said that. Yeah, to Jackie Chan.
Yeah, great movie. That was a great movie.
Great Chris Tucker. Chris Tucker was at the Masters.

Speaker 3 The microphone. Chris Tucker was at the Masters' Fest year with us.
And he's... What a time.
My dad didn't even know it was Chris Tucker. I was like, dad, wake up.
I don't know.

Speaker 3 It was just like he was not paying attention. I'm like, damn.
All right, so we screwed up everything on the first interview. This is our.
Okay, your redemption interview?

Speaker 3 I mean, we also did the spelling beat was one of the weirdest things you had to do professionally, correct? No, but I just want to say how. Well, you've done the real spelling beat.

Speaker 3 No, she did the barstool spelling beat, and it was like

Speaker 3 we showed up. The union workers had to take a break.
This is before you guys were millionaires. Okay, you were a millionaire? Yeah, they have a lot of stuff.
Oh, your officer, though.

Speaker 3 Way better than mine. How much do you make per episode?

Speaker 3 We pay them.

Speaker 3 You guys, we give you. You came in with like a rolling suitcase.
Now you come in with a whole staff, and we have to sign NDAs. It was congratulations.
You should see where I do this in my basement.

Speaker 3 Like the wires are all tangled up. Jared's walking in and out.
Howie's breathing heavy. But that's how you should do it.

Speaker 3 Like, I think there's, you know, a lot of the times when it comes to media now, like the big sets and all this stuff. I know you guys work on big sets as well.

Speaker 3 But like, people just want to talk to, they want to feel like they're connecting with people. Let me, okay, let me just, let's go back.
When was that spelling be? 2016? I can't get comfortable.

Speaker 3 Was it really?

Speaker 3 So think about where your guys' lives are now compared to

Speaker 3 what Richard.

Speaker 3 Yeah. It was a big deal showing up.
We were like very excited for it, and then we just totally blew it.

Speaker 3 You weren't really good with

Speaker 3 it. I was like, cat, and they're like, fucking creepy.
Hey,

Speaker 3 E.

Speaker 3 Oh, we're dumb. We're very dumb people.
But I remember thinking, like, Carissa definitely is going to like go to her agent and be like,

Speaker 3 I should be paid more because I just had to do this. No, that was the opposite.
And actually, I'm looking for an agent if anyone has one.

Speaker 3 But I'm her agent. That's true.
She is. She's?

Speaker 3 We got Josh Allen paid. Who do you want us to talk to? Wait, this.
You did get Josh Allen paid, actually. 20%, though.

Speaker 3 I'll give you 20. I've never met Josh Allen.
You've never met Josh Allen.

Speaker 3 I think I'm okay at Fox. Yeah, I'm just looking for some other.
I actually don't know him. I know another Mark Silverman, so ESPN Chicago.
But I can call him Silver. Oh, I know him.
Yeah, Sylvie.

Speaker 3 I can call him. I'm calling Sylvie.
Thank you. Okay, well, great.
We'll talk about my career offline. I'll look forward to that.
Although I'm very happy where I currently am, you know, it's just, oh,

Speaker 3 what's the line? Oh, Jalen Rose said this one time. Appreciate your position, but plan your promotion.
Whoa.

Speaker 3 Interesting. Oh, speaking of Jalen Rose, so you guys have had guests on your show.
We sure have. So the guests, Calm Down Podcast, Jalen Rose, Dr.

Speaker 3 Oz, Kevin Hart, Matt Damon, Ryan Rossillo, good friend of ours, Cam Jordan, Jay Color. Who's the best? Who had the best interview? Kevin Hart.

Speaker 3 Well, we had one that was this Thursday, and I couldn't wipe the damn smile off my face. Jim Cantori, shut your face.
No one loves a weather report more than this girl. I do.

Speaker 3 Pressures, humidities, bands, strands, all of this. It's funny because I feel like, you know how they always say, like, musicians want to be athletes, athletes want to be musicians?

Speaker 3 I want to be on the weather channel. I feel like a lot of people on TV that cover sports, especially in the sideline capacity, want to be on the weather channel because you break out.
Hell, yes.

Speaker 3 What's your biggest thermometer that you own? Excuse me. I love the big thermometers on the side capacity.
I don't have that. I just have like five by my bed to see if I'm ovulating.
So that's it.

Speaker 3 But when it's hot, I think I'm lying. When it's hot on the field.

Speaker 3 Why would you have a field tire?

Speaker 3 I got to pack one. I got to take it.
Did I take it to Green Bay? I don't know. I left this one in San Francisco.
Like, yeah,

Speaker 3 listen,

Speaker 3 it doesn't matter where you are. Your temperature is up if you're off.
Did you just look at the moon and you're like, yeah, fuck, I wish. Okay, we have that.
There's the big dipper.

Speaker 3 We're ready, honey. Let's do it.
Well, real question, because I know you've talked about, you know, IVF and you've been more open on your podcast. Do you guys like that?

Speaker 3 Like being able to open up and be like, hey, this is us.

Speaker 3 Because it is an outlet that's very different than, you know, being on.

Speaker 3 I'm really proud of Erin because you guys have known me for a long time. I'm very like, what you see is what you get kind of a person and not as polished and protected.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah. And Erin is, we've known each other for 100 years and she's always so

Speaker 3 funny and all these different things that I don't think that she allowed everyone to see because she was protective of her space for a lot of different reasons. But now you are, I'm very proud of you.

Speaker 3 You do deserve a lot of credit. It's very, like, that's a hard thing to talk about publicly and also open yourself up.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 But it's also sucked so much.

Speaker 3 And I just feel like it was our last round that we did that, like I've said before, and I know you guys can relate to fertility clinics, but you go in there and it's freaking packed with guys and girls.

Speaker 3 And before I would be like, oh my God, I don't want to see anyone. Don't yell my name.
And it's like, fuck it. Like, I've been here a hundred times.
So have all these people. Why am I any different?

Speaker 3 And the sad thing is I'm not any different because we just haven't had success. So you just kind of want to be there for other people.

Speaker 3 It's like, I get kind of annoyed and I'm happy for these success stories, but everybody's like, we have babies. And it was easy.
It's not. It's fucking hard.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I'm sure that the feeling that you have, like, you, there's like a certain degree of you don't want to talk about it publicly, like, you feel ashamed for something that you shouldn't feel ashamed for.

Speaker 3 I'm not feeling ashamed. It's just, I think, a lot of times you just don't want people to know your business, but it's like, God, so many people are dealing with it.
So, why not?

Speaker 3 And I feel like that's a lot of things we deal with. Our relationships,

Speaker 3 a lot of things I've been like, job issue.

Speaker 3 Skincare, bad breath. Eat it with some levity.

Speaker 3 Well, I would imagine it's also freeing because you guys in your job, like on Sundays, we see you, but we don't, it's not like a podcast where you're sitting and talking.

Speaker 3 So people can make an assumption, like, oh, what's wrong? Like, why are they in a bad mood? Why are they? It's like, well, here's, here's who I am. Why is she bloated again this week?

Speaker 3 Well, I don't, no one says that. Come on.
No, I do say, why is she hugging Aaron Rodgers?

Speaker 3 Because he feels bad for me. No.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 But yeah, no, you deserve credit for it. On the podcast.

Speaker 3 I'm trying. I'm learning.
I'm figuring out my groove.

Speaker 3 Who's been the worst guest? You can do the list I had. No, I mean, worst guests.
I mean, I think

Speaker 3 Kevin Hart. If you just say Doc, everybody looks like Dan Jordan.

Speaker 3 Well, what if worst in terms of that's, I don't really want to say,

Speaker 3 Dak Piscott, Dan Marie. Why?

Speaker 3 Why was Dak? Do you know what color is his favorite color? Who, Dad or Dak? Dak. Dak.
What color? Gray. No, that's the biggest nugget that we got from that interview out of Dak.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 He likes to be a little bit more.

Speaker 3 He thought he hung up. Oh, shit.
And he said to his public, he's like, that interview sucked.

Speaker 3 We kept it in the show. Now, to be fair, the very first question that Big Cat asked him was, so your name's Dakota Rain Prescott.
I love that. Do you know the porn star named Dakota Rain?

Speaker 3 And then that kind of

Speaker 3 sent the interview going down a certain area. All Dak had to say was, no, I didn't know the Rain Man.
And, like, let's get back on track here. All right, we'll work with Dak.

Speaker 3 Yeah, she's been like, yeah, I fucked her.

Speaker 3 That would have been great. That is a great reputation for America's quarterback.
I'm sure that would go over wow. Jerry would love that.

Speaker 3 Jimmy G went to a Super Bowl. But besides great, those are the only bad interviews that we've ever had.
So just the two of those. Wow.

Speaker 3 I like both of those guys.

Speaker 3 I was just going to say. And you.

Speaker 3 And me, because you got all the information. Now, to be fair with your interview, I did think that you went to Washington State.
And also, the internet was bad.

Speaker 3 We were talking about the interview last night, actually, and Hank said that. The interview was bad.
What do you mean the internet was?

Speaker 3 The internet. The internet was bad.
Yeah, we were zooming.

Speaker 3 I wouldn't have asked that stupid question about Washington State if my internet was was faster.

Speaker 3 So you had cricket wireless. It was like, I thought you guys moved rich.
What's wrong with Sippy before they were rich?

Speaker 3 I also had like a washing machine over my shoulder during the interview and you were in the world. I missed those days.
I missed you guys when you were poor.

Speaker 3 Yeah, because as an interior designer, I wanted to come help you with the space. Wait, so are you good? Are you like full-blown going? Because I've obviously

Speaker 3 keep up with your life. Thank you for respecting my life.
Yes. Well, no, I follow you on Instagram.
I keep up with your life. And also you and Sarah Walsh, like, you post a lot, and I like that.

Speaker 3 I consider Sarah a friend as well. But you are like, are you full-blown going to like eventually just be an interior designer? No, I don't want to be both.
I want to be Dion.

Speaker 3 I want to play baseball and football. Okay.

Speaker 3 Because your interior design is awesome. Thank you.
I always look at it. I'm like, and that's one of those things where she decided to wallpaper that wall over there.

Speaker 3 They needed some warmth in the corner.

Speaker 3 It's one of those things where you think like, oh, this is easy. And then you realize what goes into it.
You're like, no, it's not. Like when couches don't show up.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3 But just how everything goes together, because like I look at something I'm like yeah just throw this couch and this couch and like well look I um I would love to design any one of your spaces house and home is the company but she needs to get paid and you're rich so you are good clients exactly but very similar to what Aaron's done with where you do it for free for exposure no that was something else again you're rich

Speaker 3 no at this point um i'm really proud of the company it started during covet it's been a passion of mine for a long time and yeah i mean i'm excited to see it grow like anything we do outside of our normal everyday jobs, there's multiple hats you can,

Speaker 3 you should make an OnlyFans for it. Like couch porn.
Right. Look at this couch.

Speaker 3 How awesome is this couch? Yeah, very reputable clients would want to hire me after seeing that.

Speaker 3 It's a different demo, but yes. Yeah, so is wallpaper back? Yeah, in a big way.
I love wallpaper. Let's draw white marble.

Speaker 3 Let's open it up. We're just tuning out right now because we're going to be able to do it.
No, no, this is good. Yeah, wallpaper.

Speaker 3 What's up with white marble? Are we still doing that? Well, you don't do the marble. You do like a granite or a version of marble.
You can do porcelain, although that's very

Speaker 3 expensive to fabricate, but good for hot surfaces. It's fine.
Wallpaper's back in a big way, and it's very expensive because you have to pay a professional to install it. It's almost like a puzzle.

Speaker 3 You have to have it perfectly done.

Speaker 3 Yeah, what about... This is boring.
No one gets it. Stainless steel.
No, I like this. Stainless steel, yes or no? Thumbs up, thumbs down.
I'm moving away from the stainless steel.

Speaker 3 I like to, very similar to Aaron's fridge over here, I like to cover it with a wood paneling so it's disguised. I don't like my appliances to show with the exception of the oven.

Speaker 3 How many pillows is too many? Never. More pillows, the better.
You just like pillow. A long time polly.

Speaker 3 Pillows forever? Pillows forever.

Speaker 3 That's kind of a crazy move.

Speaker 3 No man likes the pillow. What is it? I do because I like to put it on my stomach so people don't see my fat stomach when I'm sitting on a couch.
What? Yeah. I do that too when I've plotted.

Speaker 3 I'm not going to lie. Or it's like these high-waisted jeans.
Oh, you got to talk on the mic. Oh, yeah, I got to say.
So you can put your chairs on.

Speaker 3 Just make

Speaker 3 it's so true but the high-waisted jeans like i'll put like my because it's like god these there becomes yeah you put a pillow in front of you yeah and it's very like that so you don't have to suck in i agree i like that move so maybe more body-size pillows for for you i'll do that yes okay great yes is it true that like if you have tvs you should either have one tv three tvs or five tvs and not two tvs or four tvs whoa like odd numbers like odd numbers are are better they only have two in this house no i don't know i've never heard that i mean like on seven and mine on the same one so if you think think about it this way, Rascilla.

Speaker 3 Is that too many? No, he only has two. If you do the downstairs setup that he's going to have three there.

Speaker 3 If you look at a vase with flowers in it and there's four flowers in it, it actually looks worse than if there are three flowers in it. Like odd numbers look better.

Speaker 3 Okay, I'll think about that and add that into my aesthetic. A little bit before you.
Add that into our contract. Okay.
Okay.

Speaker 3 That's my agent. You're negotiating.
Real question. Real question.
Hardest part about your job that people don't recognize.

Speaker 3 Use this as a way to tell people, like, you think it's this way, it's totally different. Go, yeah, I got a story.

Speaker 3 Because I think that, like, a lot of people have misconceptions about your jobs, and it's good to be like, you guys are wrong. This is what, you know, is difficult or the hardest part.

Speaker 3 I love the morons, and I don't run into this very often anymore, that come up to you on the sidelines.

Speaker 3 And I have like my Trapper Keeper, I have my binder full of notes that I don't even use a quarter of. And they're like, did you write that out yourself? Or did somebody else?

Speaker 3 Shut the, are you serious? Of course I wrote this out. But I think my insecurity is there's always going to be something that happens and I and it's going to expose me that I didn't play, right?

Speaker 3 That's just always kind of like the chip on my shoulder, right? I wasn't drafted, you know, until the sixth round or something like that. But I just am so worried something will happen.

Speaker 3 So just the preparation. I mean, if I had prepped this much in college, it probably

Speaker 3 would have gotten to wear those cool pants that everybody got to wear. But are they?

Speaker 3 I didn't get one.

Speaker 3 Yeah. So just the prep, I'm a nut.
I'm insane. I just with it.
And And I

Speaker 3 because you, I don't think people get that. And it's like a 24-7 thing.
My husband's like, put the phone down. And you're like, what's he on wrap-up or tweeting? Yeah.
La la la la.

Speaker 3 So yeah, I just think the prep and just really the time away from home. Like, I'm not home at all during the season.

Speaker 3 I would imagine that if you put the more prep you put in, it's stuff that you might not ever use. You never use it.
But I never use it. I get three to four hits a game.
I never use it.

Speaker 3 That probably like just adds to your confidence when you're on camera, though. And it lets you do a better job because you know that like if shit goes sideways, I know my stuff.

Speaker 3 There are, I mean, for every game, I sit there and I look at the depth chart and I go down to the third string.

Speaker 3 I am literally Googling every player and going back probably like five to six months, looking at articles on their grandma, like things I just don't want to miss. Do I need that shit?

Speaker 3 No, but am I psycho and I know I have to have it for myself. I do to make myself feel better.

Speaker 3 And yes, there are a time, there's a time like Troy at dinner or Troy in a break will say, Hey, does anyone know what this? And I'll be like, clip it. And I'll be like, hey, I do.

Speaker 3 And he's always like, thanks, Tips.

Speaker 3 It didn't make error, but I did it. Yeah.
But that's, I mean, your job specifically, like live, going live on TV. And then, like you said, you're live three to four times a game.

Speaker 3 That would make me so nervous because if you make one little mistake, like Joe and Troy talk for four hours. So if they say one thing wrong, it's like, okay, whatever.
It's a four-hour broadcast.

Speaker 3 You have these short windows that you have to nail every time. I will say the biggest, I think, where I am at my most valuable is the part people don't see and hear from me.

Speaker 3 I like to think I'm a spy on the field. Prime example, and I was so excited.
It got a lot of attention because it was a huge moment. Aaron Donald is just going off on the sideline.

Speaker 3 And I just said, get a camera, do him, get a camera. I mean, there's a lot of times I'm grabbing the camera where I'm like, go here, go here.
Somebody's falling over. Somebody's got a toe thing.

Speaker 3 I mean, a couple last year, a toe thing. A toe pick? Well, COVID toe.

Speaker 3 Right, right.

Speaker 3 Cutting AI for those of you that got a toe pick. Right, right.

Speaker 3 That's interesting.

Speaker 3 Oh, my God. That's where all my best stuff, even divisional last year was huge for me in terms of going off the field.
I saw Antonio Brown kind of, you know, doing something with his leg.

Speaker 3 And then I just said, get a camera on Antonio Brown as he's going into the locker room. Why? Just do it.
Get a camera on him. Because I knew Brady would run over to him and say, is your leg okay?

Speaker 3 And it wasn't. After the second half, he was out.
So we had that footage for, you know, whatever Bruce Arion said to me. But the important thing is Antonio Brown is out.

Speaker 3 I noticed this before the half. It's the shit you don't hear from me, but I can get the camera and tell our producer and director, and I love it.
I feel off on it. I'm like,

Speaker 3 so cool. I feel like I'm a spy.
Yeah, that's important. Like, you don't think about that.
I just always assume that the cameras show up because they just know.

Speaker 3 Nope. There's a lot of cool like stuff that happens, you know, where like somebody will grab something and say something.
And yeah, have you ever shown too much?

Speaker 3 Have you ever taken a camera to a place and been like, okay, we're going to get this? And then the team got mad at you later and they were like, hey, that's Dr. Eletrage will never get that.

Speaker 3 I run away. You know, I let the photogra get that or the camera, the handheld get that.
And then I tell the producer and I'm just like, I'm just letting you know this is going on.

Speaker 3 And they decide if we're going to do it. And I have a great producer and director.
So they're like, EA, we're coming to you next. We're coming to you next.
Yeah. What about you, Carissa?

Speaker 3 Um, it probably happened the other day, actually. And I called, or actually, because I saw you at dinner, and I was like, oh, I didn't even tell you about this shit that happened to me today.

Speaker 3 I was doing

Speaker 3 the EA Madden Pro Bowl with...

Speaker 3 characters Marshawn Chad Johnson Micah Parsons Justin Jefferson Derwin James like big personalities well I have a producer in my ear yelling at me to not yelling saying to me like we need to get in and out of breaks you need to keep this thing moving well I have a little bit of a like corralling cats and kindergarten teacher Like, you need to sit down, you need to be quiet.

Speaker 3 And so I got

Speaker 3 over here. I don't give a shit about, at this point, I've been doing this long enough.
Her and I are both used to people saying, you either like us or you don't like us. We're good with that, right?

Speaker 3 We kind of know where we lie. But I've not gotten that much like shit on Twitter for a long time.
And they were like, she's annoying as fuck. She's like yelling at them and she's saying this.

Speaker 3 And I'm like, bro, I'm trying to keep this live event moving. And mind you, there's like alcohol involved.
Everyone's like jumping up and they're playing mad.

Speaker 3 And I get like the gaming world's like its own thing that I don't pretend to know or touch. But I have somebody in my ears saying to me, we got to move in.
We got to like move to this, move to that.

Speaker 3 So it just came across like I was like screaming at all of them and not letting them do their thing. So I think that's the hardest thing for me is that there's, we have to keep things moving.

Speaker 3 And so sometimes the audience at home just sees me, you know, giving stop signs and, you know, sort of like traffic copying it more than just letting sometimes things happen. So that's, that's it.

Speaker 3 Yeah. I mean, that one, yeah, I mean, I, there's times when I have to like move a show along or do it.
Like right now, is that the hit?

Speaker 3 But I'm just saying that's you, because then people look at it, like, why the dick. Yeah.
Or if you're in the middle of a story and the ball is snapped and you're like, fuck, I got to get out of this.

Speaker 3 And you're like, I have 10 more seconds to tell this story. And then it's picked, fumbled, somebody's hurt.
And you're like,

Speaker 3 Joe, I'll finish up after this. And then you don't get to finish up because the other team has the ball and you're screwed.
And you know what? That was just a week worth of like Googling.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's the reason I went off the the sideline. Yeah, there's

Speaker 3 rules that you hear about when I know for baseball announcers, if you're a play-by-play guy, or if you're a color guy, actually, you're not supposed to start a story with two outs, right?

Speaker 3 Or if there's one out and there's a run. Third down is for us, right? So for you, yeah, what are those rules?

Speaker 3 Like, you're not, you're never going to cut in to talk about, you know, whatever you're seeing or whatever side story you have under what circumstances.

Speaker 3 I need to get it to Joe by the time the ball is snapped. But if you think about it, Joe is, you know, second and 10.
The Rams have the ball. And now let's set it down to to Aaron Andrews.

Speaker 3 They've already snapped it. Thanks, Joe, back to you.

Speaker 3 You know, it's hard because especially when, you know, what are they doing with the offense? When it's like no huddle,

Speaker 3 you're screwed. You're just, you're not getting in.
Yeah. What about making fun of Joe Buck's hair?

Speaker 3 I don't. I've got my own hair.
A blaze. A tiny bit of wiggin.

Speaker 3 Sometimes it's fake. Sometimes it's real.
You guys do? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 Awesome. Joe has been so vocal about the thing.
Well, he almost wasn't. That's right.
He was addicted to the hair plugs.

Speaker 3 Well, we like full transplants. So I have hair plugs some weeks, sometimes I don't.
I'm a big fan of the week. Are you addicted to them like Joe was? No, I just get really bored.

Speaker 3 You guys have known, remember the Suicidal Path to Frumpyville headline? I think you and I talked about it the last time when you actually did your research when we were on this podcast the last time?

Speaker 3 That was the dead spin. That was the dead spin thing.
And like, it was where I changed my hair. I mean, that was 15 years ago.
I'm still changing my hair. I get bored.

Speaker 3 It goes short, it goes long, it goes like Susie Orman cut. Like, I go all over the map and I'm not afraid.
Do you need some financial advice? Because I'm here for it.

Speaker 3 I need some hair advice, actually. Well, I got to to cut my split ends off.
I'm dealing with some. I just caught mine.
Okay.

Speaker 3 Okay, how often are you getting a haircut? Not. Right.
Ever. Hence the Z, none of the

Speaker 3 That was always my favorite. What are the odds on the D, all of the above actually being the right answer to test? Yeah, very rare.
How about the number two pencil?

Speaker 3 Did it actually make a difference on the Scantron test? Because it's like sometimes I show up with the San On it. It's a little bit of a tree.
Right. What happened to the one? There is, I think.

Speaker 3 Really? Yeah, I think there's like a, there's a different, it's the different lead size. It's different lead size, but I've never seen it They don't I don't think architects use one

Speaker 3 if I used a mechanical pencil Maybe that was the problem that I didn't get

Speaker 3 remember the ones that you could load up and then they would like the little it was almost like pez and a pencil and yes come out and then you write it down to a nub and then you take it out

Speaker 3 you ever do pencil wars No, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you snap them.
Yeah, I was really bad at it.

Speaker 3 I was pretty good because pentech made the most firm pencils. So if you got a pentec pencil, they were indestructible.
As opposed to Bic, Bic, right?

Speaker 3 Bic or Ticonderoga or the Carl Eagle, those were just easily destructible. Yeah, we just go staples? This is amazing.
No, I should probably start selling office products. But

Speaker 3 I did have a question about the sideline interviews that you do at halftime.

Speaker 3 For me, I would be thinking like my breath stinks really bad. I do think that.
Is there a regiment that you go through? You're like, I have to have my gum 15 minutes before.

Speaker 3 Or, yeah, this spray down with the gun. Always.

Speaker 3 Then I always have how I don't have a Listerine campaign it just chaps my ass because I've tried and they just aren't interested I yes breath is my always my concern

Speaker 3 because I've heard from athletes just talk about certain writers and certain reporters that go let's name names terrific breath Peter K.

Speaker 3 Marino there used to be a blonde that worked at Fox that had a very bad reputation from the makeup artist for having very bad breath and she wasn't a nice person so I am happy that she was out of breath that narrows it down a little bit I thought you were friends with Sarah

Speaker 3 Sarah works at NFL Network Fox. She was not just singularly employed by Fox, but nice try.
So did you ever get to spell Britt McHenry's breath? Are you just

Speaker 3 ridiculous?

Speaker 3 Was she a Fox?

Speaker 3 Probably. No, she was awesome.
I think spiritually she was. I hope she's doing well.

Speaker 3 Oh, man. Wait, who's the alpha? Troy or Joe? Me.
You? I'm the alpha.

Speaker 3 Like when we go to dinner, who's like, who's the, who's kind of the leader of the pack? Is it you?

Speaker 3 I usually help with where we're going to go.

Speaker 3 Troy is the healthiest eater. I,

Speaker 3 yeah.

Speaker 3 You know what? Half the time we're not even all together, but I'm usually the one that's like, I've already found out if this is a good restaurant, a crappy hotel. I'll give you the yelp right now.

Speaker 3 I'm lucky I get on the plane. What's the best NFL city? Well, I like Dallas because we're so comfortable there.
Yeah. And we know, I mean, we've been there so much.

Speaker 3 And, you know, Troy's the toast of the town. So we get the best restaurants.
We get the best seats. We get the best service, best sushi.

Speaker 3 Let's see. What else do we do? I love, we would love going to New England.
That was always fun. Good hotel, good vibe, good scene.
Good, like, we have to in Foxbrook. Do you have to name the hotel?

Speaker 3 No, Foxbrook.

Speaker 3 Really? Oh, yeah. Interesting.
I wouldn't put that up there. And what's the worst?

Speaker 3 This would be good in Detroit.

Speaker 3 I lived in Detroit. I got to be honest.

Speaker 3 The Townsend Hotel is fantastic. They give you these salty caramels, delicious.
Everything's crazy. Great together.
It's amazing. You You get different service than I did.

Speaker 3 I was on the Sea Crew, and I was there week after week after week, and that was the shit hotel. I love our hotel in Detroit.
It's so nice. The bar is fantastic.
They've got great pizza up there.

Speaker 3 Very underrated pizza. Yes.
It's like a mix of Chicago. Detroit is there for Thanksgiving, though, so my experience is a little different.
Yeah, that's true. Do you like it on Thanksgiving?

Speaker 3 No, it's sad. I miss being with my family.

Speaker 3 Detroit or something. It seems sad.

Speaker 3 Which is also without. It's watching Amazing Stay Parade and the game's at noon.
And I mean, do you have to be at the field at six? I mean, it's kind of an upsetting holiday, but it's fine.

Speaker 3 I haven't had one. I was going to say one each time you had one.
Yeah. So when you're on the road with Troy, how much weed does he smoke?

Speaker 3 Have you seen his eyes in the booth? Oh. Have you seen those pictures? That's not from that.

Speaker 3 He just goes swimming right before games.

Speaker 3 No. No, I've gotten swimming.
I have green hair.

Speaker 3 Similar question. When you do the pregame, are there any times where if you just stopped talking, Colin would just talk for the entire hour? No, that we always made it on your show anymore.

Speaker 3 I know, sadly, used to be, yeah, but there was the running joke with Colin was this: like, we'd all be, let's say, the cameras are here, we're all looking over here, and he'd be like, This, like, just like staring off into space.

Speaker 3 I'm like, Are you with us? Are you? But no, he, the one, I really miss a lot of things about Colin, having worked with him for so long, even at ESPN. Colin was the ultimate wingman.

Speaker 3 You could give him anything. I mean, this guy talks for three hours.
Yeah, you know, you could just say, talk about the third string, you know, just go TV.

Speaker 3 And he's like, oh, yeah, he went to Boise State. And average, he's like, he knows everything.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Yeah.
The analogies.

Speaker 3 And your wife gets to

Speaker 3 your first divorce and then you get a Ferrari. I remember.
It's a buffet. The analogies are as somebody who loves an analogy.
Oh, he. Oh, you love him? You know what he loves?

Speaker 3 He loves the old Netflix versus Blockbuster. Yeah.
He can tie that into anybody.

Speaker 3 Joe Burrow is like Netflix.

Speaker 3 His Instagram's out of control right now. Nothing like this.
Skiing, mountains, good drinks. He loves Excel.
Get a video. rich.
I know one time someone's got to take him home. Yay.

Speaker 3 They were like, how do you sleep at night with these thoughts that you have? And he goes on a bed full of money next to a hot redhead. And I was like, good for you, Carla.

Speaker 3 Have you ever seen him eating soup?

Speaker 3 Yeah,

Speaker 3 big slurper. Oh, is it like a normal everyday? He claims to be a big broth head.

Speaker 3 Oh, but that's just for health because he's very healthy. Yeah, I'm a big.

Speaker 3 You're a big bone broth

Speaker 3 healthy. I could eat soup every single meal.
I'm kind of soup.

Speaker 3 I mean, you name it. Like anything in soup.
Can we power rank a soup? Are we going minestrone? We're going chicken noodle. We're going.
So my sneaky favorite soup is probably the Greek lemon soup.

Speaker 3 The Avgo Limono soup. Where's that from? Just grease.
Metros. Just grease.
Yeah, no,

Speaker 3 it's like a chicken rice soup with like an egg yolk and lemon mixture.

Speaker 3 Sometimes it gets that little bitter taste that gets you right here. Yeah, you get that.
That's called seasoning. I love it.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 No, I, I, it's flowery. It's very good.
I also just like, you know, any sort of chowder. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Just stews too. Sure.
Stew. Are you going to crock pot guy? My grandfather used to always say, like, you eat the soup after the meal because it fills in the cracks of the meal and it makes you sleepy.

Speaker 3 Yeah. So

Speaker 3 that's soup. I'm just disputing Colin Coward's soup credentials because I think sometimes he overplays his hand.
Oh, I thought he liked soup. I just have heard him eat soup and it's slurp.
It's gross.

Speaker 3 But no, it's not gross. It's got a style.
Everyone's got a style. How about when people like drag the like spoon over their teeth? That's a tough move.
Yeah, with ice cream too, sometimes.

Speaker 3 I know people scraping of the bowl with

Speaker 3 a bowl

Speaker 3 in the morning. Just

Speaker 3 not my better half, but I've been in meeting rooms where it's like, and it's a big spoon. And then it's like, I'm like, really? But see, I have a whole thing.
I can get fixated on it really fast.

Speaker 3 Like a heavy breather, a whistle on a nose, a spoon on the teeth. Like just a guy who pretends that he got vaccinated and didn't or doesn't dip.

Speaker 3 Don't like him, huh? No, he's a loser. Oh.
Big Cat really doesn't like him because the torture bears

Speaker 3 Aaron Rodgers owns

Speaker 3 them.

Speaker 3 I I can't wait to see you.

Speaker 3 You excited about that or no? I mean, look how you said it.

Speaker 3 That's it.

Speaker 3 How does that work, by the way?

Speaker 3 Like, if a team hires a new coach, somebody that you don't know yet, like, how do you go about making inroads with that person and getting the inside information, getting the scoops, and all that?

Speaker 3 You just send him a text. You're like, hey, it's Aaron Anders.
I sent Senator Sean a text yesterday. I'm so excited for him.
And Sean.

Speaker 3 Yeah,

Speaker 3 you're really good about that, reaching out.

Speaker 3 I used to, I mean, I haven't been on the sidelines for a long time, but in production meetings is what I miss most about being on the sidelines is because you got FaceTime with all these guys, and that's so important.

Speaker 3 Now it's, you know, the relationships that have been established over the years, but that is one benefit.

Speaker 3 sans COVID is that being in those rooms with those guys on the field before for an hour, two hours during the whole game.

Speaker 3 Conference calls can be a real bear, but they can be really, really awesome. I mean, we've had conference calls.
Sean Payton is one of the best to have a conference call with.

Speaker 3 His conference calls are just like what you saw for his, you know, his retirement, not retirement, but his closing, I guess, presser with the Saints.

Speaker 3 Brady's conference calls with us were unfreaking believable. I will miss those so much.

Speaker 3 He did a lot on them, which I thought was great. Rogers, you're a friend, his conference calls are awesome.
Invasive. Listening to, no, he's great.
And you know what's awesome?

Speaker 3 It's cool because I get to sit back. I get to ask my question at the end.

Speaker 3 Troy just goes through his list of questions with these guys and to hear, you know, Aaron and Tom and Sean McVay break it down. It's just really, it's, it's awesome.
Yeah, it's cool. Like I, whenever

Speaker 3 we talk to, like, football guys and, like, get into like

Speaker 3 the details of football, it's just, you can sit and listen to it. I'll tell you, one of the best conference calls besides Brady Rogers.

Speaker 3 Kyle Shanahan is fucking

Speaker 3 awesome to talk to. He just breaks it down.
And he, we, we did a game with him last year against the Packers where their entire roster was depleted. They didn't have anyone because of COVID.

Speaker 3 And I just, my husband was there and I said, come sit and listen to this. This is going to be.
awesome. We didn't know what quarterback was going to play.

Speaker 3 And he just said, you know, I may actually suit up. But I just told these guys, listen, people dream for this shit.
You're third, four string. Like, let's go.
See what can happen.

Speaker 3 This could be a great story. When we interviewed him, we were like, I wish he could have done it forever.
Yeah. Yeah.
He's got so much swag. Except in the fourth quarter.
Well,

Speaker 3 I love the truth.

Speaker 3 I like college.

Speaker 3 But by the way, that move right there, just the whoa, gets anybody riled up. Like, you could just be saying something and you're like, shut the door.
You're like, whoa.

Speaker 3 And everyone's like, what, did I say something wrong? It's like, it's just a subtle little thing. It's a little tug on the leash.
Whenever you're uncomfortable in a situation, just go, whoa, everyone.

Speaker 3 Well, here's a little tip for your podcast. Just be more critical of people because then it makes headlines.
Okay, actually, that's great.

Speaker 3 Since you guys are wildly successful in this space and it's made you a ton of money. No, but you are really good at it.
$75,000 an episode. And we are new.

Speaker 3 Show up. Oh, yep, we get a big check.
So, okay, that's a great piece of advice since we're novices in this area. Yeah.
And the big check. Is being controversial.

Speaker 3 We're not really controversial people, though. Yeah, we don't do it on, like, we're not controversial either.
It's more just like have, you know. Have real opinions.
Yeah, right, right.

Speaker 3 Well, we have opinions. We also have employers, though.
You guys are your own employers now. You have to talk to a lot of these people, which is very awkward.
Like, we don't.

Speaker 3 How great is it for you guys to not have to give away? Yeah, you never have to see these guys. You talk shit, and you never have to see it.
No, we don't. We go into locker rooms all the time.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 No, the thing, the nice thing is. You're not allowed in locker rooms.
No, that's a good point.

Speaker 3 That's a good point. No, but we do.
Like, we have them on the show, and then we'll say exactly what we said about them. Right.
Like, I've said some very mean things about DK Metcalf. Yeah.

Speaker 3 And I've said it, like, DK, you turn with approximately the same precision as an aircraft carrier. And I'll say it to his face, and then now we're good friends.
But that's how it's arming.

Speaker 3 I did to Matt LaFlor.

Speaker 3 I joked about him kicking that field goal when they were down eight.

Speaker 3 And

Speaker 3 he was like, well, that sucks that you brought that up. But like,

Speaker 3 after it, yeah, like, I don't know. Think about SNL.
SNL has become, you know, for the

Speaker 3 30 years or whatever that it's been on, making fun of people. So sometimes making fun of them means that they matter enough when you guys are in your position to care about them.

Speaker 3 And so then it becomes. I made fun of Jeff Darlington the other day.
I said he ruined my weekend. There you go.

Speaker 3 No, it's also just, I mean, the simple rule is, too, like, we just make fun of ourselves more than we make fun of anyone else. No, self-deprecation is our biggest thing.
How is our business?

Speaker 3 Yeah, like the people who make fun of other people but never make fun of themselves and like sit on a, you know,

Speaker 3 ivory tower, they're assholes. Thank you.

Speaker 3 And that's, I'd like to believe that, look, we, I've been very vocal about like not liking certain people in this industry because they'll act one way and then behind your back, like say another thing.

Speaker 3 And I'm like, fuck it. I'm just trying.
Are you talking about Sarah Walsh again? Sarah, again, Michelle Beadle. It's like, I just don't understand why.

Speaker 3 It's like, if you're going to say it or you're going going to have the opinion and look, not everyone's, my mom always says this to me, like, not everyone's going to like you, clearly.

Speaker 3 So you don't have to like everyone else. Don't be an asshole, though.
Like, my big thing is, like, if you're mean to hair or makeup or audio or if

Speaker 3 someone's running the prompter, don't say, hey, prompter, roll up. Know the fucking person's name.
Like, and so when people in this industry don't do that, I have a very hard time with it.

Speaker 3 And then when networks tolerate it, I just like, I get frustrated by that. It's, it's a lot, like, very, it's, a lot of people go into like making everyone look good on air.
Yeah, and

Speaker 3 yeah, but in the end, it comes out. We know that.
I think a lot of people, my dad has always said to sit back and watch. Yep, it's true.
Talent wins out.

Speaker 3 I hate the word talent. That's another thing, too.
But it does.

Speaker 3 No, I'm saying not talent like people talent. I'm saying like if you're talented and you keep working hard, eventually you will win out.
I believe that. And I do believe being a nice person.

Speaker 3 And I haven't, you know what? Like there's, I'm sure there's someone that's like, oh, she was an asshole to me. Like, I never intentionally want to be mean to someone.

Speaker 3 I just think in this industry, like, you're not that special. You're replaceable.
Just like every athlete has been replaced by the next great athlete.

Speaker 3 Like, appreciate your position, plan your promotion, but say hello to Cheryl, the prompter operator, in the morning.

Speaker 3 I am an asshole, though, when I have five minutes before I have to be on air before a big game, which every game is big for me. And I'm sitting there and I'm clearly doing my notes.

Speaker 3 And someone comes in my space with their head, and it's COVID. That's different, though.

Speaker 3 That's different. But then you hug that guy after that.
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 3 No, no.

Speaker 3 No, that's just not good awareness. Yeah.
Oh, man. I think when you're locked in, though, it's a little bit different.
Like, everybody has that with their job. Right.
So, yeah.

Speaker 3 Like, I'm a real bitch when you invade my space and I'm trying to get ready for the game. And then once I get the first hit over with, it's smooth sailing.
But up until then, I am crazy pants.

Speaker 3 I'm scared. I just, I don't want to fuck up.
Do you ever, do you have to apologize for getting into bitch mode right before? Or is it just understood?

Speaker 3 People, they see you sitting there and they're so excited that they have a sideline pass. And I totally get that.
And please enjoy it.

Speaker 3 I don't think there's anything better than being up, you know, right there at that moment, watching the guys come out. It's so freaking fun.
But I'm not there for your enjoyment. I can't screw up.

Speaker 3 I've been working all week for this. You know, I've got a job.
So, yeah, people think I like to Herb Street and I used to say this all the time when we did college game day. It's like a petting zoo.

Speaker 3 They're just like, over here, over here. It's like, you know, feed me fish.
Yeah. You know, I'll do a trick.

Speaker 3 All right, last question. Flash sheets?

Speaker 3 Calm down podcast. Go listen.

Speaker 3 Great stuff every week. Last question.
I was on the flight, and I hadn't watched Newsroom in a really long time. And for some reason, I pulled it up.

Speaker 3 Did you date Will McAvoy? I did.

Speaker 3 And I never did.

Speaker 3 This is so great.

Speaker 3 It's like the opening scene of it. Yeah,

Speaker 3 on vacation with him or something. Last episode, too.

Speaker 3 So I...

Speaker 3 At that time, I was working for ESPN and I had a chance with GMA to work the red carpet for the Oscars, and he was there. And I just, he walked up not knowing anything.

Speaker 3 I was like, hey, I'm Aaron Andrews and you use my name in your show and when the hell can I make a cameo on? Yeah. Like, holy shit.
It's like a very funny, like, you, it's so random.

Speaker 3 You've done like crazy stuff in your career, but like having like, oh yeah, if you go to that moment in time, it's like, all right, who's like the it girl? Oh, Aaron Andrews. Let's throw her in this.

Speaker 3 That show too was phenomenal. I'm so sad that they're like, no, you have to watch that.
And you came up later again, too.

Speaker 3 Like, like, they did a callback, like, he was on vacation with you in the islands or something. I was like, this girl.

Speaker 3 It was like the sports version of, or the non-sports version of that, was the show that he also worked on. I feel like it was called Sports Night.
Oh, Sports Night.

Speaker 3 Remember that back in like the late 90s? Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah, then that was on HBO, right? Yes. I distinctly remember tuning into a couple episodes.

Speaker 3 Did you guys ever watch George Michael Sports Machine? Yes. Pow, pow, pow.
Somebody needs to bring that back. You guys could do it.

Speaker 3 And before we go, because I know this is your guys' show, congratulations. Seriously, I know we make a joke about the spelling bee.

Speaker 3 And the last time you guys, you know, did this interview with us, but you guys have had a ton of success. So, congratulations.
Your guys' podcast is killing it.

Speaker 3 We're just gonna have to stop hating on my friends, though. What we don't have to do.
Stop hating on my friends. Dak, Aaron, all the guys.

Speaker 3 Better friends. Whoa.

Speaker 3 Present company excluded, of course. You guys should have Cletus on the show.
Oh, yeah. He's a talker.
He'll say a lot. Yeah, his favorite color is also gray.
So that's perfect. That's perfect.

Speaker 3 Awesome. All right.
Well, thank you guys so much. Calm down.
Guys, calm down. Listen to it.
Don't calm down.

Speaker 8 So, y'all know that we're big fans of Cracker Barrel. And this holiday season, I will be sat at their table with a big plate of country fried turkey.

Speaker 4 And Brandon, I'll be right there with you, and I'll check it off my Christmas list in the country store while I'm at it. It'll make a nice holiday tradition.

Speaker 8 Oh, that's so cute of you.

Speaker 5 Enjoy all the more holiday traditions only at Cracker Barrel.

Speaker 3 Something different because we all took a vacation. We're going to do vacation FAQs.
Pardon my break. Pardon my break.
Pardon my vake. Let's

Speaker 3 do it.

Speaker 3 How would you fix saving seats with towels and bags at the resort pool? As a dad of three, I'm up at 6 a.m.

Speaker 3 putting towels on chairs, getting the best goddamn seats, shutting out dudes like Big Bank Hank, but to be honest, feeling like an asshole doing it.

Speaker 3 Okay, I have one way.

Speaker 3 That's make $75,000 an episode because then you can rent a villa like I did with my friends. But that's probably a dick answer.
That's pretty sick. Yeah.

Speaker 3 It's probably a dick answer. I would just say that.
I would just make a big mess. Because

Speaker 3 people get mad if you have, you know, like five or six chairs reserved and there's nobody there for like three hours. They'll be like, I haven't seen anybody use these chairs with the towels on it.

Speaker 3 But if you really spread the towels around, a couple empty water bottles, really junk it up a little bit. But they clean those.

Speaker 3 Like they, the, the, the, at a nice hotel or resort, they clean up the area. I think you can only just sleep out there.
Like, why not just sleep out there with an an eye mask?

Speaker 3 Sleep there, set an alarm for like 9:30. Or you get one of those dummies like people use in the HOV lanes, where they strap it in.

Speaker 3 You just put a swear, you put a set of balls beachwear on like a crash test dummy and then put it under some towels and shit and lay it out there. Boom, problem solved.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Wet towels and sandy sandals.

Speaker 3 Just get a bunch of sandals, buy them in the store, put some

Speaker 3 out, leave them. Yeah, the sandals might work.
You're right, because they do clean it. Yeah, they wouldn't clean sandals.
Yeah, that might work. That's actually a genius idea, Billy.

Speaker 3 Can't you also just take your kid and at the start of the day, you wait for a couple other people to come around, and then you just grab your kid and you're like, uh-oh, we got an emergency.

Speaker 3 And then you stand up and you leave. If you say that there's an emergency while you're holding your kid, I feel like that's going to buy you at least a few hours.
Of your.

Speaker 3 Of all your shit being still out there. But once you have it, you have it.

Speaker 3 He's saying, like,

Speaker 3 what I'm understanding from this question is it's a brutal game. You basically, if you're at a nice hotel or a resort, you have to squat on your chairs and you have it for the whole day.

Speaker 3 You basically don't leave all day because you're like, you got to get out there at 7 a.m. and get your nice chair.

Speaker 3 Do the podcast thing. That was probably too shit of me to say, but whatever.
Hey, PFT, cat, and honk.

Speaker 3 I'm going on spring break this year with six other people who all were couples when we booked the trip back in October. Uh-oh.

Speaker 3 Fast forward to January, and one of the couples broke up because the girlfriend was cheating on my buddy because she said she never loved him. Oh, no.

Speaker 3 Always an awkward situation, but what makes it worse is that she then confessed her love for me two days after they broke up. What do I do to make this the least awkward as possible? Please help me.

Speaker 3 All right, it's very simple because I was just in the Virgin Islands and I saw a lot of this going on. Just

Speaker 3 make some team t-shirts for yourself, but put pineapples on all of them. And it's just a swinger's trip now.
Yeah. So now you're just, now it's free love on your vacation.

Speaker 3 Is that a sign? Apparently that's a code. I know that.
Where the pineapple stands for we're swingers. Did you end up in an accidental situation or something? I did not.

Speaker 3 That would have been very funny if I had. There was a moment where I thought when I got on this boat that I was staying on and

Speaker 3 I saw like there was a pineapple out and somebody just told me about the pineapple thing. I was like, wait, is this boat that I'm staying on run by a lady and her swinger husband?

Speaker 3 And it's just like, stay on the boat, but you know. You can suck your way off.
Yeah, the different... Yeah, the cabins are more of a suggestion.
You just kind of go in whatever door that you want.

Speaker 3 I saw a

Speaker 3 turns out that wasn't the case for the record. I saw a boob cruise in Cancun.

Speaker 3 I was out on a boat one day. I went on vacation.
There were seven of us, and I, three couples, and then one of my friends. There was a boat.
We were coming out of

Speaker 3 where we were docked, and there was a boob cruise. And you know when it takes you like a second to like kind of pick up on something? So I was like, oh, wow, those are some boobs right there.

Speaker 3 Like, that's sick. I was like, wait, that's another set of boobs.
And then it was just a dude with a fucking rock art boner just standing on the boat. And it was just people fucking on a boat.

Speaker 3 It was crazy. It's the thing.
I looked it up online. It's like a boob cruise in Cancun.
You just go on it and you fuck. Do you pay a ticket to go on this thing? Yeah.
Or is it like invite only?

Speaker 3 It was, no, it was pay a ticket. They have rules.

Speaker 3 We went through it and they acted.

Speaker 3 The rules are, well, you can't, it said select singles, which I think that's just like they put ringers on there, right?

Speaker 3 And that if you're in a party of single dudes, it can't be bigger than two, which makes sense. I want to keep the ratio down.
Yeah, so those are the rules. That's awesome.
Yeah, you can't.

Speaker 3 But I would come so fast on it, and then I'd be on a fucking cruise for the rest of the day. Like, oh, I already came.
We didn't even leave.

Speaker 3 All right, speaking of, speaking of, this is similar to the situation Dave was in, kind of the reverse, though.

Speaker 3 I was planning on going on a vacation with a bunch of my single guy friends, but my girlfriend asked if she could go.

Speaker 3 Oh, it seemed like it was a bros-only trip since we don't get to see each other very often. Should I bring her anyways to help? No.

Speaker 3 No.

Speaker 3 No. Yes? No.
This feels like a... Maybe.
No. No,

Speaker 3 this is a definite no. This is a hard no.

Speaker 3 Because you might have to go to the bathroom. Yeah, but then she's going to be mad at you.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Better than that, than like going on a trip where, okay, you have two choices.

Speaker 3 One, you can not bring her, which is the correct correct choice, and go on your bros trip and deal with the aftermath, which I'm sure you can pick up, be like, oh, I didn't have a really good time.

Speaker 3 We, like, didn't do anything, whatever. While you're, like, you know, you're really tan and your throat is, like, hoarse and everything, clearly partying.

Speaker 3 Or you could bring her, and you guys are definitely going to break up on the trip because all your bros want to hang out and go, like, fuck around, and you're with your girlfriend.

Speaker 3 I think the most likely scenario that happens if you bring her on the trip is you end up paying a lot of attention to her, and then all of your friends secretly hate you, and then you just will eventually no longer be friends with those guys for that.

Speaker 3 And then, but then you like try to make up for it by then ignoring her for one night, and then she breaks out. I think you got to encourage her to take a girls' trip that same week.

Speaker 3 That's really the move, correct.

Speaker 3 But you should actually

Speaker 3 aspire to

Speaker 3 get to a point in life where you can go on trips with couples. That actually is very fun.
All right, good segue.

Speaker 3 I recently went on a V-Word with some friends, and they were go, go, go. By day five, my girlfriend and I made up an excuse to split ways and take a breather.

Speaker 3 How much activities do you guys like to plan on vacation and how much time do you carve to do nothing slash have no plans? It depends on the type of vacation.

Speaker 3 If it's a beach vacation, I usually pencil in about nine to 10 hours a day of doing absolutely nothing except for getting drunk, passing out, waking up and getting drunk again.

Speaker 3 Yeah, my big thing is like if I'm going on a vacation to a tropical place, warm place, it's find one day to do something big. Because then it's like mixes it up.
Like go out.

Speaker 3 I went out snorkeling one day. Like then it's like, oh, we did something.
Because you want to feel like you did something, but just one day. That's enough.

Speaker 3 And it doesn't have to be anything like, you know, like crazy. You're just like, oh, we did something.

Speaker 3 Because, you know, there is something about, like, if you go for like six or seven days somewhere, it's like, what'd you do? Well, I just, I was on the beach all the time.

Speaker 3 You want to have like one thing you're like, oh, I did this. One thing you could tell.
Just one. One thing you could tell like your mom about.
Yeah, one thing. That's all.
Oh, we played golf.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's just one thing to put in your back pocket. Be like, oh, I did that.
I saw a volcano. Did you see anything cool on the snorkel trip?

Speaker 3 I told you guys a story, but I was snorkeling in the middle of the ocean, and I came up to clean my mask. And

Speaker 3 some dude was just like, big cat?

Speaker 3 He was just swimming by me. I was like, what up? And I just kept on swimming.
It was wild. Shout out that guy.
I hope he's listening right now.

Speaker 3 Because he probably told people and they're like, I don't believe you. But yeah, it was a very funny moment.
Of all places to run into a stoolie is like in the middle of the fucking ocean.

Speaker 3 There was this one bartender, and she goes, as I'm getting my tab, she goes, I like your hat. And I was wearing that, the hat that Hank's wearing right now.
I was like, oh, okay. Are you a listener?

Speaker 3 And she was like, yeah, I love the podcast. I was like, thanks so much.
I appreciate it. She goes, tell Jake hi.
Oh,

Speaker 3 there we go, Jake.

Speaker 3 Hell yeah.

Speaker 3 I saw a turtle when I was snorkeling. I saw a turtle as well.
The sea turtles are the best. They're so cool.
They're so chill. Yeah.

Speaker 3 All right, we'll do it. I think we're just a vacation podcast now.
We are. I think I'm addicted.

Speaker 3 I'm on island time. I'm an island boy.
What if we all went on vacation together? Oh, this podcast. Then it wouldn't be vacation.
Then we'd just be doing the podcast. Working.

Speaker 3 But we do vacation stuff.

Speaker 3 That was just a podcast. That would go well.

Speaker 3 There was a lot of people. I was in California, San Diego, and there was honestly like,

Speaker 3 I can't even track how many people are like, you guys got to move out here. And I was like, dude, I know.
Yeah. Let me talk to the guys.
Hank, tell us about the speech, though.

Speaker 3 Tell us about the best man's speech.

Speaker 3 The speech went great.

Speaker 3 Shout out to my uncle, who helped me a lot going through it the night before.

Speaker 3 I had the notes in hand. I didn't really look at them.
I just looked down at one point just to make sure I was going in the right track, but I was doing eye contact with the audience.

Speaker 3 It went great. What was the biggest word you used? Poof.
Did you try to read?

Speaker 3 No, I knew. I knew my best to memorize because I knew that if i was reading i actually said this to my uncle because he was like i would just read it and i was like no

Speaker 3 i'm actually a worse reader than i am a speaker

Speaker 3 and it's saying something big big come up for you though on wednesday's show yeah

Speaker 3 bubba bubba was so bad at reading pfd and i didn't even make fun of him we're like are you are you okay

Speaker 3 like this is we can't joke about this yeah um my parents came up uh this weekend i like on a hotel for like their birthdays and like just at dinner my dad just brought it up and just was laughing for like 10 minutes without it.

Speaker 3 I think we need to

Speaker 3 do like reading time as a podcast where we just take 30 minutes, just do some reading exercise.

Speaker 3 You know what it is? I have a lot of books for like three-year-olds, so we can do this.

Speaker 3 I think we're all much better readers than people give us credit for. It's just when we're reading all of that.

Speaker 3 Like, if you read like a novel, like a book, and read it out loud, it's much different. Okay, you might be right, but did you listen to Bubba?

Speaker 3 Not exactly. Okay, yeah, so you would not have that opinion if you listened to Wednesday's show.
Oh, but shout out to my brother. Great wedding, good time.

Speaker 3 There was a, I was, I was getting a shot with some of my brother's friends, and a stoolie just walked up.

Speaker 3 He was like a bar back, and he walked from behind the back area and like slammed a core's light down for me and was like, here you go, fucking love you guys.

Speaker 3 Shout out to that guy. Yes.
All right, last one. Is there a worse feeling than when an awesome vacation ends? Question mark.
Also, how many notes did PFT write to the staff over under 10?

Speaker 3 Ooh. You forgot.
No, I didn't. You forgot.
I kind of forgot. You forgot, but you forgot.
I gave him a shitload of money at the end of it.

Speaker 3 To the point where I didn't know how much to tip somebody that's on a boat with you.

Speaker 3 I think they call that with your overseas. That's what they call money.
Notes. Yeah, yeah.
I left a few notes. Exactly.
I left a couple pounds

Speaker 3 on that boat for him. Tough, tough follow-up from the life advice.
Very, very tough. But

Speaker 3 you're on a boat. Provisions are scarce.
I don't think that there was a pen or a piece of paper paper on that thing.

Speaker 3 Also, to follow up from what I thought was the funniest part of the life advice was that the suit never came out at Super Bowl week. You did bring it to

Speaker 3 Super Bowl Sunday. Yes.
I wore it. Yeah.
I wore it Saturday. Yes.
And it looked as wrinkled as you'd think it would. It was very wrinkled.
Being in your back for a week and a half.

Speaker 3 I really tried to get all the wrinkles out by putting it in the shower with me for about like five minutes on full power on hot water. That didn't work, it turns out.

Speaker 3 Yeah, no, coming back to this question, coming back from vacation sucks. It's like a.
It's way worse worse in the winter, too. Like going from sun.
Thankfully, it was warm today and last time.

Speaker 3 So like miserable weather. Yeah.
It's just sad. It was dark at like three o'clock today.
I did have like the I did enjoy like seeing my kids. So that was the one plus.

Speaker 3 But I'm not saying people should have kids just so that that moment they come back from vacation isn't the worst.

Speaker 3 I think a lot of people get dogs that when they go overseas to war, they come back and their dog gives them a nice hello. One quick one, Big Hat, because you can answer this quickly.

Speaker 3 But this guy said, I'm a new father. Please explain the difference between vacations with kids versus vacations without kids.

Speaker 3 My wife thinks it will be appropriate to take our one-year-old son on a 4th of July trip with friends this summer. No, it's vacation when you don't have children with you, and it's a trip when you do.

Speaker 3 Because you're not, it's not a vacation when you bring your kids. It's just you're actually making it harder on you, yourself.

Speaker 3 Because all the nice things that you have at home to help their crib, all the things you have around that help with child care, TV,

Speaker 3 aren't there when you go on vacation. So now it's just a trip.
You're making an away game parenting is so much harder than a home game. I'm a big believer in

Speaker 3 someday, my kids will come to vacation, but not for a while. I think until like.
I saw one family bring a nanny with them. Yeah, you can do that.

Speaker 3 That's a flex. That is a flex.
That's a flex. That's an expensive flex.

Speaker 3 I think it's probably better to just go without your kids. I'm also,

Speaker 3 like I said, someday I hope to travel with my kids and show them the world and all that stuff. But I'm a big believer, a one-year-old.
Like, my kids are two and a half and nine months.

Speaker 3 They wouldn't remember a second of a vacation. Why would I waste money on them? No offense to them.
I love them dearly, but come on.

Speaker 3 It would just be a pain in my ass. Maybe when these, like, my son's like six and my daughter's like four,

Speaker 3 start doing shit. It teaches them resilience on how to get along without their parents around.
With no one around. I just left a bowl of water out for my kids.
Yeah, newspaper

Speaker 3 on the floor. It's incredible.
They both were fine.

Speaker 3 All right. Great vacation, post-vacation episode, boys.
We should do this more often. Yeah, I got it.

Speaker 3 Podcasting? Yeah, we're going to do it again on Thursday. No, like post-vacation podcasting.

Speaker 3 Post-vacation. We do have tans.
I do have post-vacation clarity right now.

Speaker 3 It's like, oh, man. I might just still be drunk, actually.
Yeah, we should do that again. All right, numbers.
By the way, people were very, you know what? We do two numbers. We fucked up.

Speaker 3 We didn't do a number at the end of the life life episode. People were very upset.
So, number the first number we draw will be the life episode. Oh, I also fucked up so bad.

Speaker 3 I had a cats in the cradle take on me remix that I'll play now. Why? I meant to play at the end of that one.
Why? Someone actually

Speaker 3 left my kids out with a bowl of food. I was like, oh, this is a funny callback.
And I forgot. All right.
So here we go. First number.
64. 22.
67.

Speaker 3 This is for Friday's show.

Speaker 3 It's got to be 10. It's 22.
I'm gonna kill you.

Speaker 3 28.

Speaker 3 Second number. 22.
59.

Speaker 3 69. That was your first one.
Yeah, I was gonna do it again.

Speaker 3 All right, two. No, we'll both do it.
No. 22.
51. 51, 69.

Speaker 3 Six.

Speaker 3 Oh, I forgot because it's two-man. Shout out to two-man.
Finally, we killed him. R.I.P.
Or Sweet Prince. 35.
I was saying to Hank, the best part about the two-man video is

Speaker 3 I just wish we had more time to make it because we had nine years.

Speaker 3 And we did it in four minutes in a hotel. I thought it was perfect.

Speaker 3 I wish we had just not run out of time. The greatest procrastination of all time was having

Speaker 3 222-22 sneak up on us. It's a date that we knew was coming for a decade.

Speaker 3 It was a tough time when I realized that

Speaker 3 I wasn't going to be here the week before, and then I was getting back like the night before the day, so I wouldn't have time to, I couldn't push it off anymore. I was like, oh, fuck.

Speaker 3 But it came out great. This date is actually happening.
It came out great. Like every other date in the history of dates.
All right.

Speaker 3 Russia has trained beluga whales and dolphins to attack scuba divers. Love you guys.

Speaker 3 Though I don't know what I'm to say, I'd say anyway.

Speaker 3 Today's a holiday to find you shy away.

Speaker 3 Oh, I've been coming for your love, okay.

Speaker 3 Oh, I've been coming for your love, okay.

Speaker 3 Bake

Speaker 3 on

Speaker 3 me,

Speaker 3 take

Speaker 3 me

Speaker 3 on.

Speaker 3 Needless to say

Speaker 3 I'm on the sentence,

Speaker 3 but be stone

Speaker 3 away

Speaker 3 Tell me

Speaker 3 that life is okay

Speaker 3 Say after me

Speaker 3 It's no better to be safe than sorry

Speaker 3 It's no better to be safe than sorry

Speaker 3 Take

Speaker 3 on

Speaker 3 me

Speaker 3 Take

Speaker 3 me

Speaker 3 on

Speaker 3 Hide the things that you say

Speaker 3 bowl. Just to play my worries away.

Speaker 3 You're all the things I've got to remember. Be shy and away.

Speaker 3 I'll be coming for you anyway.

Speaker 3 Take

Speaker 3 on

Speaker 3 me.

Speaker 3 Take

Speaker 3 me

Speaker 3 on.

Speaker 3 I'll be

Speaker 3 gone

Speaker 3 in a

Speaker 3 day.

Speaker 3 I'll be

Speaker 3 gone

Speaker 3 in a day.