Bubba Watson, The Braves Win The WS, CFP Rankings & Uncle Chaps Roasts Us

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we have Masters Champion Bubba Watson, two-time Masters Champion Bubba Watson, in studio. His new book is out.
We also have our very good friend, Uncle Chaps, on roasts. Slash just catching up with him.
Very, very funny. A lot of giggles to be had.
We talk World Series. The Braves did it.
We talk Monday Night Football, NFL trade deadline, college football rankings. They are here.
And then we have Hot Seat Cool Throw on a packed Wednesday show. Lots to get to.
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Boy!

Boy! Lots of work to be done No place to hang a long washing And then I can't blame all on the sun Oh no We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue It's part of my take presented by Marshall Sports Welcome to part of my take presented by Marshall Sports. Welcome to part of my take presented by the Chevy Silverado, the strongest, most advanced Silverado ever.
Today is Wednesday, November 3rd, and the Atlanta Braves are your World Series champions. Congratulations

to the entire city.

Jake is doing the...

No, I'm not doing it. I'm singing it.

You're singing it.

Now, full disclosure

for everyone

listening right now.

Full disclosure for everyone listening

right now. It is actually still in the top of the

sixth.

But congratulations. He did a halfway chop? I saw the hand come up.
I didn't know what was going on. Now he's doing sideways chops.
Oh, wow. You know what, though? The moment took you away because the Braves are the World Series champions.
And not just congratulations to the Braves, congratulations to the entire city of Atlanta. Yes in Georgia.
The drought is over. You guys have suffered through probably more heartbreak than any other fan base.
If you're a Falcons fan, if you're a Braves fan, if you're a University of Georgia fan, it's been tough for the last 25 years on you guys, and tonight was about overcoming obstacles in life. Congratulations.
You've done it. Give yourselves a big pound of battle.
Again, it's still the top of the sixth, but that's okay because we're proving to the people. Actually, it's mid-six now.
Astros going to bat. We're proving that jinxes aren't real.
You proved it by winning the World Series. We proved it by starting this show in the sixth inning.
Well, really, we started this show like two weeks ago. Congratulations.
That's true. The Braves won.
Which, again, proves jinxes aren't real.

But yes, Atlanta, you deserve this.

We oftentimes talk about the cursed sports cities.

It's like Atlanta and Minnesota.

Are you still laughing about Jake's chop?

Well, that ain't.

I just want the Astros to come back so bad.

No.

No.

Bad Hank.

Not going to happen.

Bad Hank.

Bad. No.
No. Bad Hank.
I'm not going to happen. Bad Hank.
Bad. No.
No. Okay? Don't do that.
Okay. But yeah, no, seriously, that's awesome for Atlanta.
They deserve this. It has been a long time coming.
28-3 happened. Every Georgia football season happened.
The Hawks are a franchise still. You lost the Thrashers? No one brings up the fact they lost the Thrashers.
No, they didn't really care. Well, yeah, that's a bad day to bring that up.
Put that together. He did score 50 goals.
Also, on the field, the home run that Soler hit over the train tracks. If you're the Houston Astros, you have to blow up that that train station you have to blow up those tracks because there have been so many iconic home runs that have found their way onto or through those train tracks in the history of your franchise in the biggest possible moments that you've had yeah you got to blow that fucking thing up you can't bring the hill back bring the flagpole in center field back get rid of the fucking train when Jorge Soler hit that

home run and that pimp job he did a verbal meme I was the guy with the happy face crying behind it

and the happy face was saying Wade Davis was really sick that one year for the Cubs because

Jorge Soler when he hits a home run it's it's got bad intentions and guess what there's one other

thing a bonus thing for Braves fans who again I'm, very happy for Braves fans who listen to this show, for Atlanta sports fans, this is your moment. You lead part of my take.
Again, you're not actually World Series champions yet, but you are. You are on this show.
They can never take this recording away. Guess what? A little even extra cherry on top.
The Braves already have won free agency. How's that? Ronald Acuna will be back next year.
That's right. Greatest free agent signing you can have.
Absolutely. Just throw that on the pile.
What about this, Big Cat? Do you think that the Braves are better without Ronald Acuna Jr.? Oh, I'm not going to do that. Because they just won the World Series.
Yeah. I don't know.
And fuck the Astros, y'all. Yeah.
Hey, y'all. Y'all just were fixing to lose the World Series.
Y'all got your shit pushed in big time, y'all. Yeah.
You got dominated. Game six.
You didn't even get to a game seven. You know what the key behind this game was, Big Cat? What? Do you remember flashback 2019 going into game six of that World Series? Yes.
The Nationals

against the Astros. I believe I gave a key

to the game because I learned a new baseball

stat that postseason. Yep.

Do you remember what that was? What was it? BABIP.

BABIP. BABIP.
Batting average on

balls in play. Turns out Max

Freed has had abnormally

bad BABIP luck this entire

postseason. There it is.
It's time for it to get turned

around. I think his BABIP was 280 in the regular season.
In the playoffs, it jumped up to 380. Hell yes.
Water always finds its level. I knew that the BABIP was going to be in play, put a heavy bet on Max Fried on the hotland of Braves, and guess what? It worked out because BABIP don't lie.
It worked out, and credit to us. I think everyone on this podcast, do we all have Braves in six?

I'm pretty sure we did.

I don't remember exactly how many games I said.

I had Braves in five.

Oh, okay.

So you were wrong.

I might have said Braves clean sweep.

Braves clean sweep.

All right.

I had Braves in six.

I know I did.

I think Hank did as well.

Also, the Braves.

Shout out to Braves.

I mean, all year it was talk about the Giants.

It was talk about the Dodgers, rightfully so.

You know, the Cardinals had a crazy run at the end of the year.

The Astros, like all these teams.

The Braves had 88 wins.

They had 88 wins.

They were in the worst division in baseball in NL East.

It doesn't matter.

It's how you play once you get into the playoffs.

And they were the best team in the playoffs from start to finish, and they deserve this. Now, Hank, do you think that if the Red Sox had gotten into the World Series, they would have beaten the Braves? Absolutely.
Congratulations to the Boston Red Sox. Thank you.
2021 World Series champions. I was going to say, also the fact that their starting pitcher got his ankles stepped on in the first inning.
That's a worst-case scenario. Ace, best pitcher on your team.
Well, their ace already broke his spibula. That's your worst case first inning scenario because a metal spike in your ankle can't feel good and he just has been absolutely shoving it.
So the guy that was running first base, I forget who it was, but he had rubber. Yeah, was it Correa? He had the rubber spikes, which probably saved the ankle.
He saved his life. Maybe saved his Achilles tendon.
His life. He could have bled out from that.
They would have had to amputate.

That makes a lot of sense because I kept

thinking the fact that he came back from that

is insane. Yeah, and Walt Weiss didn't even

challenge that despite the fact that Correa

never touched first base after he stepped on

the ankle, which was in front of the base, not

on the base. Yes.
Leapfrogged

over it and then

Freed touched the base with his glove.

That should have been overturned. The Braves had to get four outs in the first inning.
I also have another great thing for the Braves. Winning on a Tuesday night is just about as good as it can get because I would imagine it's either going to be a Thursday or a Friday parade.
That's what we're saying. Both are incredible.
You didn't want to win on Sunday night. Sunday night would have been a major bummer.
You get to go out on a Tuesday which is maybe Tuesday and Wednesday are probably the nights of the week that people go out the least amount on. But you got the hard days done, and now you can essentially just roll through the rest of this week.
And it's like, so Thursday or Friday, the parade, it's rare that we have, you know, there's certain times where we have parades, like the Cavs parade or the Cubs parade. Like, different parades where you're like, I actually want to watch this parade because it's going to be sick.
Like, even the Bucs this year, you know, the Milwaukee Bucs, because they hadn't won in forever. Like, this is going to be a parade that I will tune into to watch the city of Atlanta pop off.
Although they did win the MLS Cup. That's right.
They did, yeah. That's a major deal.
Who can forget? That's fucking nuts. Atlanta FC? They broke the real curse.
Yeah, no, absolutely not. The Atlanta Timbers? Atlanta United.
Did they even throw a parade for the soccer team? Oh, yeah. Yeah.
It's a major deal. You're an idiot.
Big Cat's looking it up. No, they did.
They did. It was a small parade.
It was just a series of cars speeding. I don't know.
Atlanta FC. It's a bad day to be a water cooler in the city of Atlanta tomorrow.
That's going to be a party zone tomorrow morning at the office. Yeah, Victory Parade.
Yep, they had one. Yeah, they did.
I'm looking at it right now. It was lit.
The best moments from Atlanta United's Victory Parade. Hell yeah.
All right. Yeah, what's number one? Okay, hold on.
Let me find it. When they hoist the cup.
Number one, number one, number one. Oh, it's actually just not even...
It's not even ranked, but it's... Oh, it looks like they had a big drum.
Oh, that's cool. Tito Villaba was drumming, and then...
Was Ludacris there? Golden Spike. The Golden Spike came out.
This parade looked pretty cool. It was rainy, pretty cool It was rainy Despite unreasonably cold December temperatures in Georgia Thousands of fans were clearly determined To celebrate the city's first major sports championship In 23 years Thousands That could be up to a million Yeah, so they actually broke the curse Let's just give give Atlanta United its just-deserved here.

They're the ones who popped the cherry on the Atlanta curse.

All right, so let's talk some Monday Night Football.

Oh, my God, that was the most match-in-play ever.

I got to clip that.

Holy shit.

All right, I'll get it started on Monday Night Football.

Okay.

There was a quarterback sneak into it.

A quarterback threw onto the end zone, and Akron fumbled the ball about seven yards forward as they were going into the end zone, which was now the quarterback's crying. He's joined by a teammate who's also crying.
That was a tough one for the Zips. It's also a big ricochet shot that their helmets look so much like Notre Dame from afar that you just imagine that this was a Notre Dame play.
I feel bad for Akron because they don't really get many wins. Yeah, but Monday Night Football.
Yeah, I also feel bad for myself because I had the over and that would have hit it. But that's okay.
You know, we persevere together. Giants were big winners because they covered the spread.
They did. Everybody thought that the Chiefs were going to come out and do some clown shit, as Billy Football put it.
And there were some times in that game. The Chiefs do this all the time.
We say they get too cute when they play, but last night it felt like it was at a different level where I found myself screaming at the television, just play football. Yes.
Play football. Sometimes they try to play basketball on the football field and you should be playing football on the football.
It was specifically the Travis Kelsey flip behind to, which was very cool. Yes.
But then when you have the next play be an interception, it kind of makes you look like clowns. Because you can't.
They're just trying to reinvent new ways. And you said it a couple weeks ago, PFT, they just got to get tougher.
And they do just have to run the ball more. I think.
And maybe have a tight end that can block and get. You know what I mean? Because they just run everything like you're playing Madden.
Every time I watch the Chiefs, I just find myself saying at the TV, weight room. Yeah.
Just weight room. They need to get stronger.
I feel like they're not a strong football team. But, yeah, they do the clown shit.
They do all the most confusing things. I think they do it to keep Patrick Mahomes entertained because he's so good when he's just throwing the ball.
But now it seems like he's become incapable of making a normal throw, where even the normal throws that he has, he does the different arm angles. He does the underhand.
He does the left-handed stuff. Just play football, and you guys will be fine.
I promise. I promise the Chiefs can still be a very good football team, at least offensively.
Yes. If they just play football like a normal person.
That's all they have to do. That's all they have to do.
On defense, they look better when it counted. Yep.
I guess you can say they had a nice interception, had a fumble on Danny Jones, and then that last drive was maybe the most poorly executed two-minute drill that I've ever seen. It was tough.
At the professional level. Joe Jones.
Ah, we had the Geno Smith drive a couple weeks ago. That's true, but that's also a Geno Smith drive.
Yeah, that was a tough one. But yeah, I mean, the Giants, I think, are now perpetually in this spot where it's like they try really hard.
Yeah, they do. And they keep it kind of close sometimes.
But to be fair to Joe Judge, maybe all of his clock management miscues were because he couldn't hear in his headphones he's saying that many times this year sounds like the league is out to get the new york giants yeah by disconnecting their headphones and not letting joe judge dial up his dynamic offense that he surely would be calling if it weren't for the electronic issues uh also joe judge listen i i guess you can should we change our our perception of the Chiefs where it's like, you know, the saying, like you can't beat the Chiefs with field goals and punts. There was, I think, two separate times, two back-to-back drives where they punted from like the 50-yard line on fourth and three, and it just felt like, hey, you're just punting to prolong your death.
But they almost did beat them. They almost did beat them.
It almost worked. That might be the blueprint now.
Yeah, now I'm saying to myself, like, the Chiefs, I guess, are so broken and different now that you can punt and just expect to get the ball back enough that you will win the game. Did the Chiefs get so good that they made coaches take unnecessary risks thinking that they had to to beat the Chiefs, and that's why their defense was able to capitalize on turnovers.
And now, since the offense is a little bit worse, teams are still doing that against them, just not getting punished enough for it. So, yeah, maybe Joe Judge is onto something here.
Get real conservative. Play some Marty Ball.
Yeah, play a little Marty Ball. Let's play a little guess whose line is it anyway.
Okay. The Chiefs are hosting the Packers on Sunday.
Sunday afternoon. Chiefs.
Chiefs what? Chiefs minus three and a half. It's actually Chiefs minus one.
So it did change. It was for a while there.
Chiefs minus two and a half. Sounds like Vegas could use a little reminder, Big Cat, that Aaron Rodgers has lost his last seven games on the day that daylight savings time occurs on.
That's true. But the Chiefs are now two and six against the spread.
Hank's giving me this look like what? We've talked about this before. Yeah, last year we set an alarm for it.
And guess what? Daylight savings time actually is Saturday. For real, for real.
So on that Sunday, Aaron Rodgers stinks. We have trust issues with our audience over this.
I know that. Look it up.
Google it. When is daylight savings? Siri.
I'll do it for everybody at home. Siri.
When is daylight savings time? There. She just showed you.
Fuck you. I like your Siri voice.
But yeah, the Chiefs are two and six against the spread. Something's broken with them.
I don't know. Packers, right? Yeah.
That's what I'm'm saying I don't know why the Chiefs are still like I think the Packers are significantly better than the Chiefs but I think because it's Mahomes and it's Kelsey and Tyreek Hill and by the way Travis Kelsey just put in your tickler file he still looks kind of the same but he also is 32 and his numbers have not looked great the last few weeks. I don't think he's over the hill.
But the Chiefs are predicated on Tyreek Hill and Travis Kelsey both being monsters. Is he no longer baby Gronk? Is he like midlife crisis Gronk now? If he went from 100% Travis Kelsey to 85% Travis Kelsey, I think it changes the dynamic of their team.
I think we're in the neighborhood of 90% Travis Kelsey. I'm just saying.
Put it in your tickler file. Trade deadline.
Well, all right. So first we should at least mention the tragic news from Las Vegas with the Henry Ruggs.
It seems as if he was drunk. He's being charged with DUI manslaughter, I believe.
Killed a person. Like, I know we don't preach on this podcast.
Don't drink and drive. It's the dumbest thing you can possibly do.
Just don't drink. It's so easy to get an Uber.
It's so easy to find someone to pick you up. Even if you have one beer, don't get behind the wheel of a car.
It's so, so easy. And it's such a tragic story.
I'm not saying tragic football sense. I'm saying a person lost their life because someone decided to get drunk and he happened to play football so um we should at least mention that crazy like kind of a shocking thing to to see how unfold like as the news trickled in yeah like if you if you talk about drinking and driving there's a lot of bad stuff that can happen this probably being the worst thing that can happen to you even the stuff that's not as bad is still really really bad there's not there's nothing good that can happen.
This probably being the worst thing that can happen to you. Even the stuff that's not as bad is still really, really bad.
Correct. There's nothing good that can happen.
Like Big Cat said, it's pretty easy to get a ride home if you need one. It's very, very easy.
So get a ride home. It's not like it was 50 years ago.
There's Uber and Lyft in every major city and every small city. But the trade deadline, there was no big trades, right?

Nothing really happened.

Here's how you can sum up the state of my life as a Washington football team fan

by just looking back at how I spent the day today,

which was hoping that the Washington football team would trade for Mitch Trubisky.

I was genuinely excited about that, which was crazy.

Apparently, it did almost happen, which would have been dumb for both teams. Who told you that? It's been reported that the teams were very close, and they decided to walk away because of compensation.
But it was real. Here's why it would have been dumb, though.
The Bills, you need Mitch Trubisky in case something happens to Josh Allen, and he misses a game or two. He's a very, very good backup.
And then the football team, we don't need to win any more games. At this point,

he would win us too many

games, and then we would not be able to draft another

quarterback. So,

it's pretty depressing to think about where

I am as a fan, that I was

over the moon thinking about that possibility.

Billy. Von Miller got traded.
Oh yeah,

Von Miller got traded.

So, name.

Big name.

He has not been the same guy.

Yeah, but Big Cat, you see the story of why like why there was discontent he was venmo requesting yeah so he had a halloween party that was six figs he was hosting a halloween party and he wanted everyone to uh throw in and then i think the team wanted to not do it because they were losing.

And he wanted to keep the Halloween party.

He put a lot of money into it.

And I guess that caused a rift in the locker room.

This is a real story.

No shit.

No offense actually commented on it publicly.

You remember a couple years ago, it was after Von Miller's Halloween party,

that Swag Kelly ran in some trouble when he was trying to go home

and he entered a house that looked a lot like his we know several worked several people who have made that mistake it's not a big deal and then he got the shit kicked out of him by a vacuum cleaner yes but yeah isn't that sounds like a sick party vaughn miller yeah it does i don't know why pony up losing streak who cares yeah go to the party but the real reason why i think vaughn miller is going to do well in la oh he he'll do well. Not only because of the Aaron Donald factor where he's getting double and triple teamed all the time.
Von Miller would be going one-on-one a lot. But Von Miller gets to play his home games on artificial turf now.
Yes. And he's allergic to grass.
That's true. So we're seeing Von Miller as like 40% of maybe what he could do at home because he was breaking out in hives.
He was like Jake when he's getting smothered by whitey just an itchy mess yeah now we're gonna get hair still on the couch hair still on the couch you're still sneezing i vaughn miller's will be good probably for the rams but it is like he's not the same vaughn miller no he's not the same but he's still he's still good yeah like he'll do enough like it would be crazy if the rams signed him to a long-term deal after this yeah I think for one year, for nine games or whatever it is, the Rams continue to just say draft picks don't matter, which I love. How many years in a row have the Rams gone all in? They don't have any more draft picks ever.
I'm convinced that Sean McVay is just telling people he has draft picks. He'll be like, yeah, I'll give you two-thirds next year or whatever.
And they're like, sure, and then he's hoping that they don't actually look up what draft picks they had. Scott Hansen, our guy from – he's the best red zone host in the world.
He told me this the other day. Apparently, back in like the 70s, the Redskins traded a draft pick to two different teams, an upcoming draft pick, and they didn't get caught on it immediately.
That seems to me like Sean McVay is just like saying whatever number he the other team will be happy with, or less need, I guess, as well, saying it, and then just hoping they don't check, because I don't think the Rams pick in the draft next year. They have four picks next year, and they have four picks in 2023.
They don't have their first-round pick either year. Next year, they don't have a first-round or second-round pick.
It's actually smart, because if you're doing that, you're just using the rest of the league as your farm system. Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, draft pick, the draft is a crapshoot. So why not, you know, see if it works out.
Where did Melvin Ingram get traded to again? He got traded from the Steelers to the Chiefs. Yep.
Chiefs. So maybe he'll help the Chiefs.
My problem with Melvin Ingram is I just, I say Melvin Gordon. Yeah.
And Mark Ingram. And Mark Ingram, yeah.
And Mark Ingram is on the Saints, but that happened last week. Yeah.
He is the most confusing guy to be wearing a new number in New Orleans. I think he's a teen.
14, yeah. 14.
Yeah, that looks weird on a running back. I do wish the Bears had traded Allen Robinson.
They did not. I mean, I guess trades are hard to do in the NFL.
It feels like they're harder to do than other leagues because they don't happen very often, but that felt like a good situation to maybe get some draft capital back for a team that's not going to the playoffs in the Bears. Also, we had Odell Beckham put on the full court press to try to get traded.
I would imagine that was an irredeemable situation to begin with, but when you have LeBron James tweeting on your behalf, your dad creating a Odell Beckham's open all the time highlight tape, and everyone talking about it all day, and then you don't get traded, I've got to imagine that's pretty awkward. Yeah, anyone who's watched any of the browns games could probably tell you that odell beckham stinks right now yeah i think he's still got something good inside him somewhere right because he's still odell beckham well but it seems like he can't even catch the ball now uh maybe it's good that he's not getting traded because then he can still blame his dad can blame baker mayfield right Like if he got traded to a really good team or a situation that was like one of the teams that are upper echelon teams right now and he wasn't good or screwed up the locker room that's that's a pretty uh good case like scientific experiment the controlled experiment of odell beckham that he screwed it up whereas the browns you can always be like well it's the browns yeah you can i don't mean that I Whereas the Browns, you can always be like, well, it's the Browns.
I don't mean that. I love the Browns, but you can say it's the Browns.
You can tell if you're an elite receiver, supposedly, and the Chiefs don't try to trade for you at this point, that they probably see something on film that everybody else should be seeing. But I do love the fact that his dad is creating highlight tapes.
I watched the whole thing. Do you think he's got the NFL, like the game pass, where he's sitting down making them himself? You're like, wow, Odo is really wide open.
It was very well done. Yeah.
It was very well done. Anything else from the trade deadline? Mike Florio was wrong.
Oh, Mike Florio was wrong. No, no.
94.9%. The odds were wrong.
No, no. Don't you know anything about Nate Silver, Jake? You can say whatever percentage, and if you're wrong, you can be like, well, yep, that's 5.1%.
That's the 5.1% that was in my statistical model. So if anything, Mike Florio was right.
It's actually our bias to believe that the 5% couldn't happen. Yep.
That's our fault. Exactly.
Yeah. It is 2016 all over again.
Yeah, seriously. Okay, let's talk college football playoff.
Yeah. Should we do it? I don't want to say I told you so, but I told you so.
The college football playoff rankings have been released. They go as follow.
Let me pull them up. They go Georgia number one, Alabama number two, Michigan State three oregon four ohio state five cincinnati six

the college football committee has essentially eliminated cincinnati before they even like have

a like get to the stretch run because not only were they ranked sixth but they also didn't rank

houston or smu which uh cincinnati plays smu're 7-1. And then if Houston continues to win, they would play Houston in the AAC final championship game.
They are also 7-1. Neither of those teams were ranked in the top 25, making it as it stands right now, zero good games that Cincinnati can win the rest of the way.
the way so they basically have made it impossible they need like we said to kirk herb street to start the season kirk we're going to need the seafood tower to start uh maybe some french onion soup that's before we even get to our steaks i i typically order mine medium rare minus yeah and i like mashed potatoes and the second cheapest bottle of wine oh we'll get we're gonna get all the sides but essentially the only way cincinnati can get into the the the college football playoff at this point is there needs to be multiple losses from some of these already one lost teams now if you look at how they ranked them and by the way these are just completely imaginary made-up rankings that they put out today because first of all they're they're hilarious. They're very funny, objectively, rankings.
There's so much stuff for people to get mad about, complain about. They're trying to get eyeballs on it right off the bat.
They can just decide to change them next week. They can do whatever they want because it's their job to put these teams in an arbitrary order.
But what they did here to make Alabama No. 2, they made Texas A&M pretty high ranked and they made Mississippi State way too high ranked so that it would justify Alabama being higher to say, look, they have these two great quality wins against these other teams, which are also ranked in the imaginary list of numbers.
So the reason why I actually think it's not arbitrary in my mind, I think the college football playoff is very clear with what they're doing like they've always been consistent that's the part that like I know Cincinnati fans are upset I know they have a real gripe Freddie Freeman just hit a sole home run now the Braves cannot lose done seven nothing uh they have been very consistent with what they do every single year power five conferences big wins matter wins matter more than losses, and that's how they rank them. Mississippi State has three losses, but Mississippi State also has three ranked wins.
They beat Kentucky, they beat Texas A&M, and it's escaping me who else they beat, but they beat another team as well. I can't remember off the top of my head.
Someone help me. Line, line.
I don't have their schedule. Line.
NC State. That's right.
So that's why they ranked Mississippi State where they ranked them because they have three top 25 wins. Like Alabama, if you want to get mad about it, I understand, but they're at least consistent where Alabama has two top 25 wins where they completely blew out the competition in Mississippi State and Ole Miss.

They won on the road at Florida.

As crazy as it may make people, and I completely understand their gripe, and I think they have a fair gripe because it is the Power Five invitational.

There's just no way that anyone can crash the party.

At least they're consistent year to year, and I saw this coming coming from a mile away and when i see it i'm like all right it all makes sense i get it even the oregon ranking like i actually am happy that they acknowledge that oregon beat ohio state because by the end of the season that will be thrown to the wayside because how they did it was oregon four, Ohio State's five, Ohio State has to

play Michigan State, they have to play Michigan, they have to play a Big Ten championship game.

The only thing Oregon has left is basically Utah at Utah and then maybe again in the Pac-12

championship game who's not ranked.

So they're saying when Ohio State wins, yeah, they're going to basically say, no, no, no,

the game mattered, but then Ohio State did enough at the end to jump them. Recognizing the fact that they should be there.
I don't disagree that Alabama should be highly ranked. I do think that they overranked those other two teams to make Alabama look better.
I think Alabama should be ranked four, but they didn't do that, and here's why. Because they want to see in the SEC's championship game, Alabama, Georgia, if Alabama wins, Alabama and Georgia get to advance.
Now, here's where it gets really interesting, and this is low-key what I'm hoping for, just for the chaos and the ridiculousness factor of it. Alabama loses to Georgia.
High-scoring game. Could have gone either way.
Alabama has two losses. I don't think they'll do that.
They might, Big Cat. They might.
If they do, I'm tacking on a night at Medieval Times for Kirk Herbstreet if Alabama gets into the college football playoffs above an undefeated Cincinnati. Do you know what's probably more likely? Alabama-Georgia play.
Alabama beats Georgia. They both go in.
Michigan State loses close to Ohio State. Ohio State goes and wins the the Big Ten championship game it becomes the SEC versus the Big Ten Invitational that could happen Michigan State and Ohio State both get in that also is set up like the way they have ranked it with Michigan being seven and Michigan State being three I think that there's definitely a possibility that you get two Big Ten teams in as well it's I again I think that like, I think that if you were shocked by these rankings, I don't know if you've been paying attention because this is, again, they rank based on who big-time wins, and losses don't matter as much.
They just don't. They also rank based on who drops off the bigger sack of cash for us.
And in that case, I understand it. If that's what they're doing, I appreciate the transparency of them saying to Cincinnati, well, good luck being poor.
Enjoy your poverty franchise. Because you're not bringing in the dollars like Alabama is.
And Oklahoma has some work to do. I actually thought that they ranked them Oklahoma correctly.
I was surprised by it, but I don't disagree with it. Well, Oklahoma's only good win this season is Kansas State.
And Kansas State's 5-3. I would say Texas, too.
Texas is in 4-4 now. Yeah, but by an eyeball test, Texas is not as bad as their record.
But they've fallen off. They've fallen off a little bit at the time.
You can't play that. Texas is going to struggle to— Oh, you can play whatever—that's the beauty of the college football rankings is they're entirely subjective.
Right, right. But I'm saying Texas is not.

You can't qualify Texas under the rules they play by,

and they play by basically the same rules every year.

It's like if you beat a good team, it doesn't matter if you lose a close conference game.

If you lose ugly, that matters.

Like when Ohio State lost to Purdue by a billion.

But they don't see Texas as a good team, so they've thrown them to the side,

and that's why Oklahoma ends up at 8 undefeated. I think some of their wins are actually hurting Oklahoma.
The Kansas win hurt Oklahoma. The Tulane win hurt Oklahoma.
Oh, yeah, definitely. No, Oklahoma hasn't been impressive.
I think Oklahoma fans would even admit it. The good thing with Oklahoma is they still have their whole schedule in front of them.
They have to play Oklahoma State. They have to play Baylor.
They have to play the Big 12 championship game. So they will also have a chance to start leapfrogging.
The last interesting thing I'll point out is Wake Forest has no chance, and that would be hilarious in that they will be the first time a Power 5 conference could potentially go undefeated and not make the college football playoff. Yes, that would be objectively funny.
The ACC is so down, they don't have wins against ranked teams. I don't think the ACC should be a Power 5 conference in football.
When Clemson's bad, it hurts. I really don't.
It hurts. Any other college football ranking thoughts? Again, I feel bad for Cincinnati fans, but I also am like, what did you expect? Because we've seen it.
We saw it 2000. What was it? 2017 UCF finished sixth.
They were like the highest they got ranked before the bowl season was 12th. I'll put on the cape for the little guys.
I think it's bullshit that Cincinnati isn't at least. They should be number five.
Make Cincinnati. They should have thrown him a bone and made him four and then let him drop.
I'm just saying, like, 2010, TCU went undefeated. They didn't finish, you know, they finished second, and there was one loss.
Gary Patterson. 2009, was it TCU again? No, sorry, Boise State finished undefeated.
They finished fourth in the polls. 2006, Boise State finished undefeated, and they finished behind two loss teams.
It's been written. It's been said.
It's been done. They will never acknowledge teams that are not in the Power Five.
Yeah. I mean, the Cincinnati-Georgia game last year, that should be enough to prove to people that Cincinnati is actually a good football team.
But then you can play the old SEC card if they weren't trying. No, we're not playing that card.
We're not playing that card. That's what people will do.
It seemed to me like Georgia was trying last year. Yeah.
At least in the second half. Well, they won.
Yeah. So they were trying.
I'm saying they were trying. Cincinnati played them really, really well.
Yes. think that Cincinnati it's it's a disgrace to

the state of Ohio that your best football team is not going to get into the college football playoff this year yeah no I I think they should have been ranked higher I feel bad for them but I also again I'm not surprised by any of this because this is just how they do it they need to we need to get to 12 teams we need to get 12 teams so that it's not a at the start of the season a college football

playoff that only half

of the teams, less than half of the

teams We need to get 12 teams so that it's not, at the start of the season, a college football playoff that only half of the teams,

less than half of the teams are eligible for.

Because that's really what it comes down to.

UTSA didn't even get a top 25.

They're undefeated.

Yeah, so the rest of the conferences should just break away

and say, okay, we're going to do our own.

Make it Division I, AA+.

Yeah, there you go.

Perfect.

All right, should we get to Hot Seat Cool Throne?

Again, shout out to Braves.

Up 7-0.

Would you rather be up 7-0 in the seventh inning of a World Series game

or up 28-3 in the third quarter of a World Series?

23 in a World Series.

Oh, what did I say?

You said 23 in a World Series.

I'd rather be up 23 in a World Series.

23 in a World Series. That would be Scorigami.
That would be sick. True question.
Here's a real question. If the Braves did somehow lose this game and then lose the series, will we ever be able to go to the city of Atlanta again? I don't know.
It would be like us and General Sherman. I'll miss Northside Tavern.
Do not serve this man. Yeah, I'll miss Northside Tavern.
Northside Tavern no longer Sigs inside, I'm told.'m told oh okay but I still would like to go back there alright Hot Seat Cool Throne brought to you by our friends at Cross Country Mortgage rates are unbelievably low don't pay the bank more money than you need to Cross Country Mortgage is the place they are people first people like Barstool rates are all time low they may never get this low again call today for a fast free. Our partners will save you a lot of money.
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Hank. First, I'd just like to shout out everyone that's been reaching out after my back situation on Sunday.
A lot of people reaching out a lot of people have gone through similar things giving me exercises, giving me things to do I appreciate that. Big Cat, we posted the video of the exercises he talked about on Sunday so road to recovery starts today.
Hell yes You look like you're moving around okay though. Yeah, no, it's gotten significantly better from Sunday to today.
Sunday I thought I wasn't going to be able to walk again. Today I'm like, all right, I think with some rehab and some exercises, build my core.
That's what I've gathered. I just need to get core strength.
Get that core, yeah. Yeah, good core strength.
My hot seat, though, is the Celtics, Boston Celtics. Absolute kind of dumpster fire early on in the season.
They lost to the Zards two games in the last week. Both games they should have won.
What happened in the Bulls game? Bulls game, they were absolutely destroying them. And then I think the fourth quarter was like, what is it, 28-11? It was the first time, I think, in NBA history that a team was up 14 in the fourth quarter and lost by 14.
Yeah, so they were dominating the third quarter. They had maybe the worst fourth quarter performance I've ever seen.
They were dominating the whole game, and they got blown out somehow. It was that bad of a performance.
Marcus Smart afterwards was saying, like, Jalen and Jason Tatum don't pass the ball enough. Oh, no.
Trouble in paradise? Their new coach after the Wizards game, Jalen Brown got COVID, and then after the Wizards game that they lost, they blew that game. The coach was like, I've never seen someone who's all over the place like Jalen Brown.
When he's like, you know, some games he's fine. Some games he's going through like COVID.
Like he just had COVID. So just kind of a disaster in Boston.
Damn. It's a long season.
What's the fix? Blow it up? I don't know. I think they need, like, I don't know.
I think they could use a trade. I think they have.
Oh, no. I don't know.
It's one of those things. Eme, this new coach is supposed to be a player's coach.
First black head coach in Celtics history? Yeah, I think that's what people are saying, right? That's what Jason. Jason Williams.
No, the hackers said that. Jay Williams got hacked.
Jay Williams told us that. They said they want a player's coach, someone's in their face, and it might be one of those things where they're just airing it all out and that's a good thing, or it's a disaster.
I lean towards it being a disaster, but I don't know. It could be one of those things where it's like, we're all so close as a team, we can say this about each other, and we love our coach, so he can say this about us.
Or they're going to be us or they're gonna be like yeah either way the other option is like they just really really hate each other and then on the other hand maybe they hate each other so much that it's actually good that that conflict will get you to a place where you can build a bridge i don't really buy that part no yeah no i'm down for a trade i don't know blow it up not, but like, you know. A tweak.
A tweak, yeah. A hard tweak.
I lean towards sometimes good teams that can't be great. Those are the hardest ones to blow up.
But you got to blow them up. You got to blow it up.
We'll see. All right.
Your cool throw? My cool throw is Jake Marsh. Well, this is before the beginning of the show.
Yeah. Yeah, that was bad.
I did not do any form of a chop. I just sang a chop.
I did see the hand come up. I didn't know.
For no, it was the motion no. He was doing no chop.
Got it. No chop.
Yeah, no chop. They were saying boo urns.
Yeah, no cap, no chop. Oh, no.
Chop. There's a chop.
The commercial. It's just a commercial.
It's actually slap chop. The NutriBlade.
But we got some, his name, I got to pull up his name so I get his name right. Waylon Napa Dogan on Instagram.
He's a musician. He's got a good amount, a couple thousand followers on Instagram.
He made a Jake on Me remix. Oh, hell yeah.
Dedicated to Jake. We'll put it at the end of the show as a Take on Me remix.
But cool throwing Jake. He's the only one out of us to ever have a Take On Me remix.
There you go. That makes up for the cereal box situation, huh? Yeah.
It's great. Thank you to whatever his name is.
Waylon. I listen to it.
It's awesome. Waylon, that's such a sweet name if you're a musician.
He's got a great look, PFT. You would dig his vibe.
I don't know. Probably.
Yeah, seems like a Nashville guy, maybe studio musician.

I should know.

He's Canadian.

Oh.

Oh, even better.

Hey.

Okay.

Hello there.

Waylon.

All right.

PFT, your hot seat goes wrong?

My hot seat is the ball.

The ball is on the hot seat.

The NBA basketball is on the hot seat.

So we reported this a while back, like two months ago,

set a reminder for people, take the unders in NBA basketball games at the start of the season. It didn't work.
It worked on the first game. Oh, it did work for the Bucs game.
Yeah, that game where they should have gone over by a million. Yeah, I sweat that one out.
It was miserable, by the way, betting NBA unders. It's terrible.
Because they're such good shooters, and they go up and down the court so quickly, and the fucking reset when they get an offensive rebound, that that makes the shot clock go even faster you could have just stopped the sentence that it's miserable betting the nba because every game is like it's like mario kart it's tough if you're down you get a lightning and then you come back it's very very tough but um and i have no data to back up whether or not the unders are back in play but we're starting to see several nba players publicly complaining about the new ball that got from the Spalding to the Wilson. Paul George, I think this was yesterday, he said it doesn't have the same touch and softness that the Spalding ball had.
You'll see this year a lot of bad misses. You've seen a lot of air balls.
I think Paul George is saying be on the lookout in case there's a playoff game where a certain player doesn't shoot very well. Just know that the ball is a little bit different.

I looked up his stats. Paul George is actually shooting 49% from the field, which is a vast improvement over his career average from the field, which is 43%.
So he's really enjoying this ball. So in the sources I talked to, the story out of some blind sources in the NBA said the ball is completely the same, but the story I heard before was the ball is completely the same, but it will be no doubt that there will be players that will complain about it when they have a slow start.
I also think the scoring has a lot to do with the James Harden rules, that they're not calling the same. They're actually calling the game the way it probably should be called and not if you jump into someone, it's a foul no matter what.
Yeah, so I was looking up the stats because I thought maybe Paul George was making an excuse. Right.
He's getting out of head. Yeah, he's smart.
He's pre-playoff pre-ing himself. Like if Russell Westbrook says it, it's like, no, dude.

Did you see that shot he had off the backboard? That was awesome.

You just stink. Yeah, Russell Westbrook.

But, shout out Skip. I think

that's his. But

it's smart to get out ahead of it.

Paul George, genius. Just know that in

the playoffs this year, if he has a bad day,

he's not sick. It's the ball.
It's the ball. That he played with

for 82 games. He's still adjusting to the ball.

Yes, yes. My cool throne

is truth. Truth

is on the cool throne because the truth

Thank you. He's not sick.
It's the ball. It's the ball.
That he played with for 82 games. He's still adjusting to the ball.
Yes, yes, yes. My cool throne is truth.
Truth is on the cool throne because the truth will set you free. The truth always comes out.
And last night there was a situation that developed online about Texas' special teams coordinator, Jeff Banks, who allegedly ran away from his wife and kids a few years ago, married an exotic dancer named Pole Assassin. Great name.
Yes. Surprised that one wasn't taken already.
Pole Assassin owns a monkey named Gia, who takes part in some of her routines on the pole. Yes, Billy? Emotional support animal, not a pet.
Excuse me. Yes, good point, Billy.
An emotional support animal who supports her when she's dancing for money at gentlemen's clubs. She was on the Jerry Springer show.
She's very talented. And they own a house together in Steiner Ranch right outside of Austin, Texas.
They had a little Halloween party, a haunted house party at their house. And one of the guests was a young child who allegedly got bit by this monkey.
Correct. Now, the news came out and everybody was very quick to jump on Pole Assassin and say, hey, you need to take control of your monkey.
Well, if they had done a little bit of research on their own, they would have found out that Pole Assassin clearly put up balloons on the gate to indicate that children should not go back there. Right.
The child was on the wrong side of the property that she or he did not have permission to be on, and that's where the monkey attack occurred. Alleged monkey attack.
Now I've heard a lot of conjecture, a lot of hearsay in the last 12 hours. Some people saying that maybe this monkey isn't even her original monkey.
It

might've been a new monkey. I don't know.
I don't know if that's true or not, but all I can go off

of is the fact that pull assassin put out a video last night showing her property and showing how far the child had to walk back there. And there was a sign on the monkey enclosure saying, emotional support animal, do not go in, do not pet.
People are saying that it looked like that sign had been put up in the last two minutes before she took that video because there had been rain in Austin, Texas for the last two nights. I don't buy that.
I think the burden of proof is on you to prove to me that it's a brand new sign i stand with pole assassin i stand with g of the monkey i stand with the university of texas on this one and i if this story seems like it was just created doing one of those mad libs from like an oklahoma state message board it it probably is they've probably written fanfic about this before but um this is maybe my favorite college football story of the year so far the uh the takeaway from this and i've said it many many times it needs to be repeated again never trust anyone who owns a monkey or a snake as a pet they're not trustworthy or a frog or frog they're not trustworthy those those animals a monkey is just it's it's basically you buy a monkey, it sits in your house, and it's just you set the timer for when it decides it wants to rip your face off. That's all it is.
It's like, it's just one day it will decide I'm going to rip your face off or your neighbor's face off, and then the monkey charade will be over. Snake, very similar.
One day it will get loose. It loose it will hide it will do something it will try to eat you in the middle of the night never trust those people what's so wrong with having a dog also the case law is clear on this situation the monkey was standing at its ground that was its homicide domicile yep i don't know do we have a monkey law expert billy there was three monkeys in the.
Three monkeys. So we don't even know which monkey.
We don't know if Gia was the biter, but we do know Gia's vaccination status. Okay.
Received all of its shots to prevent primate. Which really doesn't help us because we don't know if Gia was the one who popped it.
Transmission. It's a lib monkey.
Yeah. Highly vaccinated.
Florio would love that monkey. Extremely vaccinated monkey.
All vaccinated monkey all the shots all the shots okay so it was hopefully the child is safe from what i understand in my reading that i've done on the topic it was just it was a minor bite listen pole assassin didn't even know that a child got bitten by her monkey at her party until one of her neighbors came over and was like hey i just had to treat a child for a monkey bite yes Yes. So, I mean, it sounds like a witch hunt.
It sounds like something that Texas A&M fired up because they're jealous. They hate us because they ain't us.
They resorted to making stories up about a special teams coach's stripper wife and her emotional support monkey biting people on Halloween at a haunted house. I'm just not buying it right now.
Yeah. I stand with pull assassin.
I stand with you. Agreed.
All right. My hot seat is John Paxson because Scotty Pippen's, the excerpt from his new book is out.
And he didn't have to put this in, but he put it in. I'll read it to you.
They had a falling out and John Paxson called Scotty to try to mend the fences recently. And Scotty Pippen said, John, I said, that is all fine and dandy, but you worked in the front office for the Bulls for almost 20 years.
You had a chance to change that, and you didn't. He began to cry, not knowing how to respond.
I waited for him to stop. Why he was crying, I couldn't be sure.
And honestly, I didn't care. That's tough.
I don't feel bad for John Paxson, but to wake up and be like, oh, new Scottie Pippen excerpt dropped and the main takeaway is that I cried on the phone to him. Yeah.
Just threw that in there. Ruthless.
And I'll help you out, Scottie. The reason why I cried is because he feels very guilty.
Yeah. And Scottie Pippen does have a legitimate gripe, I think, with the way that treated when he came back to the team they used him like a prop correct and they found out that he would actually like to do work for the team yes they're like okay go to this duke game and then send in a report that they never read and then they never asked him to do any more field work on his own so i get it with scotty pippen but my main takeaway from everything that i've heard from scie so far recently, he's just a very unhappy human being.
No, it's like borderline tragic in the fact that Scottie Pippen, I love him, and he's an all-time NBA player, but it does feel like he is looking for something that he'll never find, and it won't happen by burning bridges in a book. Yeah.
He was talking about how the documentary,

he was disappointed in the last dance because it opened up with three shots

of Michael Jordan doing incredible things.

It's like,

well,

yes,

that's because he's Michael Jordan.

Like how about like Scotty Pippen?

You were part of the greatest like team run of all time.

And then one of the greatest like dynasties of all time.

And it's okay that you're listed second behind Michael Jordan.

Right, it's Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen, and Phil Jackson.

And everybody that they've talked to about that era of the Bulls,

nobody's really happy.

Nobody's great friends with each other except for Charles Oakley.

Besides that, they all kind of have like,

they acknowledge that they kind of hated each other

while they played with each other, but that's what made them. Spin zone,ank maybe that's what the celtics are on the verge of right now they all hate each other so much they're just they're on the on the precipice of a six pete yeah yeah all right there it is sure um and then my cool throne is uh kyrie irving because i'm pretty sure he's not getting vaccinated for an entire like prolonged

ad for the new Matrix thing that's coming out in December because he posted a picture

of Morpheus today on his Instagram with no caption.

Was that that might be a red pill?

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

I think he's not getting vaccinated as part of a viral marketing scheme for the new Matrix.

I actually could see Kyrie Irving seeing the new Matrix movie and either one going completely off the grid or two flipping his entire mindset entirely. And now he just lives for basketball.
It's going to deeply affect him one way or the other. He strikes me as a guy who walks around and be like, have you seen V for Vendetta? That movie changed my life.
Yeah. But yeah, I just great movie.
Yeah. He's going to get heavy into the NFT space.
There's definitely something. I mean, posting Morpheus.
I think there's a new... What is it? Matrix show coming out in December, I want to say.
There's something Matrix. Never seen them.
You've never seen the Matrix? No. Really? You've got to watch.
Matrix show. Which pill would you take? Which pill would I...
Which is the one that tells me that everything's fine and is a complete illusion blue pill yeah that one yeah just delude me wait is there a matrix thing coming out there's matrix for december 22nd there it is so yeah so he's just doing he's doing mark he probably is getting paid more money to do marketing than he is by the nets and he's like okay yeah i won't yeah, I won't get vaccinated for a few months. Why not? Wouldn't that be hilarious if that after it came out? That would be like $50 million.
If he got vaccinated the next day. It was like, yeah, my ad deal's up.
Oh, and did you see Ben Simmons not taking mental health from the Sixers? What do you mean? He's like, the Sixers are trying to get him help. And he's not taking their help.
That's great. You know that's what Vince Simmons should say trade me that would be the best mental health of all time put it on them be like do you hate mental health and why do you make me work for you and pay me all this money Billy my hot seat is Carson Wentz Brett Hudley was recently released the Colts and Sam Ellinger was promoted to QB2.
So we have a Carson Wentz playing Thursday night against a very dangerous Jets team. Who knows if Carson Wentz gets benched, Sam Ellinger comes in.
As a Jets fan, I'd be very concerned. This could be a Tom Brady 2 situation.
The Jets, again, one of their linebackers knocks Carson Wentz out of the game. A journeyman quarterback with all the expectations on him.
First round pick. Guess who comes in? A six-round pick? Sam Elner, right? That reminds me of something.
Yep. Agreed.
Word is the Colts brass really like Sam Elner Brass. The Brass.
The story out of Indianapolis.

Exactly.

Who is the Brass?

Jim Irsay and his guitars.

No, he's a guitar.

Yeah, he's a string section.

It's his guitars, actually.

Just talking to himself.

That's more of orchestral.

I feel like...

Who's their GM now?

Grigson?

No, Grigson.

Oh, yeah.

Grigson hasn't been there for like four years.

Doyle.

No.

Why am I spacing on this guy's name?

Chris Ballard. That's right, Ballard.
Doyle was close. Yeah, he was executive of the year.
Yeah, Chris Ballard is the brass. Yeah.
Your cool throne. My cool throne is Zach Wilson.
Turns out during the game, he texted Mike White after every great play and said how awesome it was and tweeted a video of Mike White talking about Zach Wilson being a great teammate. So cool thrown Zach Wilson being a great teammate.
And his future because the Jets just signed his quarterback coach onto their staff. So they're investing in his future.
That's a little bit extra, isn't it? You don't have to text him after every good play. There were so many.
But cool thrown. Yeah.
The future. He led the league in passing week eight.
How about that? Exactly. In passing yards passing yards Billy, real quick though Give us your prediction On Thursday Night Football For the Jets I actually think it's going to be A great show I'm excited Fuck show? I don't think it's going to be There's going to be There's going to be a lot of fuck shit Because Carson Wentz is playing Now do we So like Win Lose Is the Colts Jets worthy of us Rec late? No.
Absolutely not. I don't think so.
Come on. Congratulations to the Colts.
Yeah. There's your start of Friday's part of my team.
Are you serious? Yeah, Sam Ellinger got in the second half. Lit him up.
Three touchdowns. We watched Bears games.
Three totters in the second half. Yeah.
And a rushing touchdown. Okay, fine.
We watch Bears games, yes. Yes.
Bears haven't played on a Thursday night this year, have they? Last season. Last season? Yeah, they beat the Bucs.
They were a playoff team last year. Anyway.
They created the MVP for us. Anyway.
Anyway. We'll do Zoom.
Also, Denver. Okay.
How about that, Billy? That's fine. Denver paid $9 million of Von Miller's $9.1 million guaranteed money, so they kind of really paid.
They really wanted to go out for the Halloween party fiasco. All right, Jake, finish us off with Hot Seat Cool Throw, and then we'll get to Bubba Watson, and we have Chaps.
My Hot Seat is the Villanova student section. PFT posted this video a couple of days ago they had their season tip off hoops mania and the students stormed the court afterwards and literally every single student in this video go to PFT's Twitter tripped I think it was an elevated court yeah it's very funny it looks like the invasion of Normandy if it took place inside of a Brooks Brothers luckily they're a powerhouse they probably won't have a reason to storm the court everyone just eating shit it was

trying to run out there yeah so funny is it is college basketball doing this on purpose to try

to discourage students from storming the court laying booby traps out there yeah that's something

to think about it's certainly possible uh cool throne is friend of the program jeff fisher uh

he and marvin lewis are coaching the 2022 nfl pa collegiate bowl at the rose bowl yes jeff fisher

We're going to be such a 12-12 game. I love it.
I love it. Actually, no one's going to win that game.
That's going to be a tie. January 29th.
That's the unwinnable force against the undefeatable object.

Yes.

All right.

Good job.

Let's get to Bubba Watson.

Then we got Chaps on the other side.

PFT, you got a quick word for our sponsor?

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HelloFresh is America's number one meal kit. Now here's bubba watson okay we now welcome on a very special guest it is two-time masters champion uh pro golfer legend bubba watson he has a new book out it's called up and down go buy it right now bubba watson's new book it's called up and down victories andles in the Course of Life so thank you for joining us we love having people in studio we'll get into everything but let's start with the book so what what made you decide like hey now's the time I'm gonna write a book because I always feel like that's a big decision of your career's not over but you're writing a book about your career while you're still golfing yeah for sure.
You know, the pandemic happened. Everybody wanted me to write a book before when I won the Masters for the first time.
And I wasn't ready. Like, write a golf book? Who cares about a golf book, right? Right.
Nobody cares where your elbow is at Impact. And so, for me, I wanted to do it at the right time.
And the pandemic happened. I just came out of the darkest days of my life, or so far, the darkest days of my life.
And so I felt like it was time for me to share, to help myself, but also to try to help other people. And so the timing with the pandemic and everything, I wish I could say I put that all together, but obviously it was just random that that was the time to do it.
And it would just, it fit. I just came out of my darkest hours in 2017.
And so here we are today talking about the book. Yeah.
So what was it in 2017 that took you to a bad place where you realized something's got to change? You know, it builds up, you know, when you sit back and really, really dig deep into it, it starts from childhood, bits and pieces from every part of life, right? Golf to friendships to all these things, how my parents raised me. And then in 2017, I got down to 162 pounds, normally around 190 on a good day.
And so when I saw 162 on the scale, I walked over to my bed about 15 feet away. And I just fell to my knees and said, God, take me.
I said, I can't do this no more. I don't want my wife to see me go through this.
I don't want my kids. So blood work, sickness, all those things, nothing.
I didn't have anything, but I had obviously some mental issues, some stuff going on I was battling, and I wasn't sharing it. I was letting it fester inside of me.
And so that was my darkest moments when I had to go to the kitchen and show my wife and tell my wife that I'm a man, but I'm weak. I need to change.
And I would imagine mental issues, golf's got to help that, right? Being like the most mentally taxing sport. Yes.
Like I was perusing the book today and you got into it about how bad shots would eat you up and poor performances would eat you up that's got to be I can't think of a sport that is more mentally taxing especially if you're not in the right headspace than golf right and so when yeah when I started watching the world rankings or or the FedEx Cup or you know try to make the writer cup or the president's cup team and I was letting that dictate how my day was or how my life was. And listening to people badmouth me or seeing people badmouth me on social media, it took a toll on me.
And I can sit here and say I'm tough as can be, but when you hear those words or see those words, it takes a toll on you. Yeah.
So that's interesting because, you know, it's obviously social media. There's some bad sides to it, and people are nasty online.
Were you just reading replies and reading what people were saying? Because we always think of athletes like – I think it's a weird catch-22 for athletes where if they do reply, we're like, oh, get some perspective, dude. You're a millionaire.
You're playing a sport. Like, why do do you care what these trolls say but if you also just try to ignore it it can eat at you that way too so you kind of are damned if you do damned if you don't yeah but if you think about it we're all human right we all have issues you can we can say we don't have issues right but we all got them everybody in this room has them whatever those issues are it's big to you it might be small to, but my issues might be small to you.
Right. And so we're all battling something.
And when it comes to that, you know, that's what you have to realize. And being an athlete, we're still a human being.
It's just my job. I mean, you know, being a professional golfer, somebody else's job, they got issues over there.
They got issues in life. And so, yeah, we're all we're all trying to get through life.
We all want to be loved and respected. And so that's really what we're trying to do.

But you're right.

I mean, if you don't read it, you know it's there.

And if you do read it, you know it's there.

So either way, it doesn't matter.

You know it's coming.

So to lighten the room a little, I'll give you one of my issues.

I keep betting against Georgia.

Well.

Yeah, that's an issue I'm dealing with right now.

That's not an issue.

That's just dumb. That's one where you can.
Right. I mean, that's an issue I'm dealing with right now.
That's not an issue. That's just dumb.
That's one where you can fix it. From your perspective, you're like, well, you could just stop betting on Georgia, but you don't understand how our minds work somehow.
Like 14 points, 23 points. Well, first of all, what's going to happen if we quit? The next thing that's going to happen, we're going to be like, damn, I wish I should have bet against Georgia this week.
Yeah, right. But see, that is the truth.
You said the truth there. I don't know anything about betting, so I don't know what your mind's going through.
Right. And so, right.
But guess what? I'm going to love you and respect you no matter what. Okay, I appreciate that.
I'm going to start using that. When I lose, when I bet Florida plus 14 and a half, and I lose that and feel like such an idiot when Georgia just starts rolling over them, I'm going to be like, you know what? I'm going to love and respect myself.
That last two minutes of the first half? Oh, my God. That was unbelievable.
I actually, it was so bad for me because I went up to do something with my son, and I came back down, and I was like, wait, what's the score? I completely missed. It happened that fast, too.
It was 3-3. It was brutal.
three it was oh brutal brutal unbelievable i i gotta imagine that writing the book was a little cathartic for you it got you know it gave you an opportunity to put your feelings down on paper but then doing like a book tour around your book that's almost like a different type of uh like excuse for you to get all this stuff out in public it's different to say it out loud than it is to write it down on a piece of paper. Has it been, do you feel better? Do you feel lighter about yourself that you're able to talk about it so freely doing these press interviews? And is that something that you notice that you feel different after you've written the book and after your story is kind of out there? No, I'm scared to death to come on these shows and talk about it.
But, I mean, I'm free talking about it and writing it down.

Yes, I feel 100% free because I have nothing to hide.

I have nothing to hide from you or anybody else out there.

And, you know, first of all, I've got to be a man and talk to my wife

and explain to her what I'm going through and get her to help me

and her still love me.

And so, yeah, I mean, now talking about it, now it's a different role. Now the role is to help somebody else.
If I can help one other person that's listening, that would be amazing. That would be a dream come true.
And so for me, I've already had my help, and I'm going to have – now I'm able to catch – hopefully able to catch it next time I start going down the black hole, and hopefully I catch it so we don't have another dark day or the darkest day or a new dark day. And so, yeah, my whole goal now is to talk about it, to put it out there so that I can try to help one other person.
It's great, too, because it's there's definitely been a shift in the culture where where athletes have felt like they can talk about these things a lot more. And I think it's really important because we always look up to athletes of being those are the mentally toughest people in the world they got no problems they're rich they're famous they're awesome and it's great to see these moments in this book being like hey I'm a human too and showing that vulnerability yeah for sure but you know I think that we're the the athlete the athlete right now our celebrity however you want to word it um has the platform the the police officer, the fireman, the military man and woman, the teachers, teachers are going through a lot.
Doctors, nurses, I mean, we can look here and point at fingers all the day. They don't have the platform.
So right now, athletes are so-called celebrities or the platform. And the more we talk about it, the more we're going to do something about it as a whole.
You know, doctors and scientists are going to start looking at how they can help that around the world. And it might be as simple as just hugging people.
You know what I'm saying? Yeah. I mean, we miss that.
Like now it's like weird. Even a handshake.
You're like, am I allowed to handshake? Just being nice to someone. Yeah.
Right. And so that's where we all want to be loved.
And I think now we're missing that. And I think that athletes are just helping us get to the point where we are free to talk about it and we don't, we don't judge anybody on it.
And then hopefully we'll help the people that are truly helping our youth grow up. Yeah.
Well, so everyone go check out the book, Up and Down, like I said. So you've done a ton of interviews.
You were on, what, Good Morning America this morning or Today Show. Yep.
You were doing Serious. You've done a million interviews.
We pride ourselves on doing interviews a little bit different. So hopefully you don't have to feel nervous about only talking about the book so i had a few different questions this is different we got a weight room over here yes it's very it's a mess in here we got jordans all around we got sunglasses on exactly it's weird it's very different first of all how much do you bench i saw you eyeing that thing earlier don't bench that much i'm a little less than.
Okay. Yeah, me and Brooks are about the same.
Brooks is probably about, you know, what is he, about 95? So I'm right at 92 or so. All right, so my first question that you probably didn't get asked on the Today Show, have you ever felt like you're a little bit of a fraud with the nickname Bubba because you're skinny? Oh, man, fraud.
I mean, Bubbas are kind of big guys, right? Well, see, that's judging again. That's what we were just talking about.
We just talked to you about the time he looked at the scale. Yeah, let's talk about it.
Exactly. It's a sensitive subject.
Yeah, that is. Let me answer this, though.
Let me answer this, though. So when I was born, I was chubby.
And so my parents, my mom said, I look like a football player. And I know him from Police Academy, but Bubba Smith was coming through.
He was playing ball in 78 when I was born. And so I know him from Police Academy, but Bubba Smith, so he was the guy at the time, right? And so my mom said, oh, we got a Bubba.
And so it just stuck. Ever since that 30 seconds I first came out of the womb, I guess.
It might be the best nickname that you can have. Like, when you think of, like, the list of nicknames, Bubba and so it just stuck ever since that 30 seconds I first came out of the womb I guess it might be the best nickname that you can have like I when you think of like the list of nicknames Bubba is such a great nickname I mean you know how many people would make fun of me if I went with Gary Lester yeah we were talking about that earlier I was gonna ask you about the nickname and then I saw your full name and I was like well it's pretty obvious why it goes by Bubba yeah Bubba's a cool name yeah I seem tough with Bub.
Yeah, his name's Liam, and we just decided to call him Bubba because we're like, every crew should use a Bubba. Right, everybody needs one.
Yeah, having a Bubba around makes your life better. It just makes you seem tougher.
Yeah, and it also makes you seem friendly. You can't be mad at Bubba.
That's just Bubba. No, that's Bubba.
Yeah, it's just what Bubba does. You call him Bubba, Bubba will just hang.
Right. Bubba will watch the dogs on a Saturday and just hang.
Exactly. That's a Bubba.
How often are you in a room with another Bubba? Oh, man. In a room with another Bubba? No, this is probably the first time in a long time.
Really? Yeah. I did their Rick and Bubba show a couple days ago.
We did their podcast. But, yeah, they're from, what, Birmingham, Alabama? I feel like it's a Highlander situation.
There can only be one in any room. So maybe while you're in here, should we call you Jerry? Should we call Liam Liam? Yeah.
We'll call you Liam. We'll give you the honor of being the only Bubba in the room for right now.
You can stay Bubba. I mean, you know how I'd have to write more books if everybody called me Gary Lester.
I know. I'd be at a a whole different mind level you know what i'm saying yes

gary lester doesn't win the masters just say it right now exactly oh i think gary lester wins the masters in 1965 yes yes but not in 2012 yeah you tell your grandkids i saw gary lester 17 yeah i have a very important question for you this might be the most important question you've ever been asked oh man when did you decide to become a top button guy oh top button guy that's. That's easy.
Since the day I started wearing buttons, gosh, I wore knickers until I was 13. Shot 62 when I was 13, so I canceled those while my grandma was making them for me.
And then the top button, my hairy chest started coming out. And so I try to hide it.
I keep that werewolf in there.

I don't want anybody to see that.

So I just try to be polite.

Same thing when I go in the pool.

I put on a long-sleeved t-shirt.

Make sure everybody doesn't see that hair flowing everywhere.

Although I think that would be kind of intimidating, though.

If you're playing in match play against somebody, back nine, you take the three buttons down.

You take it down all the way, and you let the taco meat out. You the other guy see it that's that would be intimidating for me as a golfer yeah true but you know my wife of 17 years I don't want her to think I'm getting uglier so I gotta try to hide that you know yeah cover it up I like that I like that you also you're kind of a man after my heart because you uh bought an ice cream store yeah started one you you you run it operate it oh yeah i love that i love ice cream so much i mean there's you got a couple options in this world and you you could either go alcohol yeah you could go sugar and i went yes i went with sugar that's whatever i like i'm not a huge drinker and i'm always i mean i used to but now not as much and it's like why not just eat? You know what I mean? Why not just, instead of drinking them, I'll have a pint of ice cream on a Friday night.
Right, and you feel like you could have two pints and nothing changes. Yes, all right, so we're one and the same in that respect.
But you still feel bad the next morning. Yeah, of course, always.
Oh, I feel bad while I'm doing it. The hangover might be worse for my ice cream, honestly.
Like, you're a disgusting piece of shit. You're just eating this pint of ice cream.

And then you wash it down with Doritos.

It's perfect.

So wait, how is running an ice cream store?

Is it difficult?

I mean, I would imagine ice cream just sells itself, especially in Florida.

Exactly.

You haven't seen any commercials about the ice cream shop. Yeah, right.

That's true.

They're never like, hey, ice cream needs a bounce back.

It's recession-proof.

Yeah, exactly.

So we make the fudges in-house right there, hand-dipped chocolates, and then we have the ice cream needs a bounce back it's recession proof yeah exactly so we have the uh we make the fudges in-house right there hand-dipped chocolates and then we have the ice cream and then we have the old school candies that most kids don't even know about today oh oh yeah check it out what's your favorite flavor birthday cake yes that's a great choice so my ice cream sleep on it i always keep birthday cake ice cream there just in case i show up and then um i uh birthday cake fudge is always on hand just in case. Damn, I love how birthday cake ice cream there just in case I show up.
And then birthday cake fudge is always on hand just in case. Damn.
I love how birthday cake – people don't order birthday cake ice cream that much, but it's really the perfect dessert. You're taking another great dessert and turning it into a different dessert, which is somehow better than the original.
And it makes it feel like it's your birthday all the time. Yeah.
Yeah. It's like this is a good day.
And it is your birthday. Yeah.
On Friday, right? Friday. Yes.
Happy birthday. And so that, I saw that.
And then I also saw in an interview that you said you don't like to work out and you like to sleep a lot instead. Oh, for sure.
So you are, we're best friends. Just for the record though, okay, we're not friends anymore because I started working out.
Oh, why? You betrayed us. Yeah, exactly.
I'm getting older fast. Yeah.
So I'm trying to, you know, when I see Brooks and Bryson and all these young guys working out, I'm like, dang it, man. I guess I got to start.
So explain that, though, because obviously the tour has kind of changed a little bit. There's been evolutions.
Tiger dominated for a very long time. This new crop is exceptional golfers.
Everyone's looking like they're real athletes. It used to be a day in age when golfers weren't like considered you know real athletes because they didn't work out the way that tiger worked out now the guys do now but you always have been able to hit the ball long what is that like what you don't have to be uh a muscle freak to to be great at golf for sure no because i'm definitely not a muscle freak I won a couple of big tournaments.
But, you know, for me, it's stretching my arms. It's using my width of my swing to make clubhead speed.
And some other guys are using muscle to create the speed. I'm using the width of my arc to create the clubhead speed.
And the bigger the arc, the more the clubhead can speed up at impact. And so that's what I i've been doing um now that i'm working out my working out now is just so i can run with my kids as they play sports as i get older making sure my body stays healthy forget golf just in general life in general uh is where i started working out for them so i'm about to hit that you do have the wingspan your wingspan is i it's probably abnormally wide even for a guy if Again, there's that 6'3".
Gosh, man, I've got to have a counseling session after this. Well, no, no, I'm saying like.
Abnormally. You're a freak show.
It's good, yeah. You're like the Dwight Howard of the PGA.
You do all these awesome interviews and you come in like, how are you such a freak? No, it's interesting because that's how you generate all your speed is with your wingspan, right? Yeah, for sure. So when you stretch your arms out, are you saying that you actually try to make your arms longer? And can you tell when you're just walking around, you're like, my arms are feeling really long today? So, yeah, I mean, my nickname, it's actually in college, my nickname was Freak Show because of the shots I could hit.
And then people started calling me the orangutan because of how hairy I am and my long arms. So, yeah, I mean, anything else you want to call me? So, no, when you think about it, yeah, I'm letting my arms naturally break down.
So when I take the club back, my arm's straight, and then it naturally breaks down. It has to or I can't make the swing.
And so that's literally what I'm doing is trying to use my arms, keep them straight as possible, make the bigger arc. So, yeah,'re right.
I mean, to a sense. And anybody listening, like you probably get the sense that, you know, we're calling them all these names.
You're, you're a very normal looking guy. You're a good looking guy.
Yeah. If you're listening right now, you're like, what is, who are they interviewing right now? Well, it's just, I mean, it's exceptional because like I said, today's, you know, PGA, there are guys who are clearly working out a ton to try to get the hit the ball very very long you've finished many years as the longest you know from the t box and i've always been impressed by that and it's like it's not it from from afar it's not like you're doing something exceptional clearly you are exceptional so it's it's always interesting to watch when you watch a golfer who maybe isn't like Tiger.

When you watch Tiger, especially when he was working out,

you're like, whoa, he's a specimen.

You know what I mean?

When Bryson is doing it, he's clearly doing some things.

You got up there, you hit the ball a mile,

and you did it looking like a somewhat normal guy.

Right, and again, it's all technique.

There's different techniques out there.

I don't know how much y'all know about golf, but J.B. Holmes.
J.B. Holmes is from Kentucky and he's like country strong and he comes down with a short swing.
Tony Finau the same way. Very short swing, very compact, but it's a lot of power in there, even though he might not look like it.
Like DJ. DJ's, he's very physically fit and athletic, but he doesn't look muscular overall.
And so people have different techniques to create the power, and mine just happened to be without muscles. Yeah, yeah.
You're being you, though. That's the thing.
Yeah, for sure. You could try to be somebody else, like steer away from what you're naturally good at and how you feel the game out yourself, but you're trying to be the best Bubba that you can be.
100%, And trying not to three putt. Yeah.
Yeah. That would be nice.
I saw that you moved into Tiger Woods' old house. Yeah, a couple years.
Not anymore, but yes, back in the day. Back in the day.
So you bought the house. Did you buy it directly from Tiger? Maybe.
So what was that like? What was the weirdest thing? Because every time you move into a new house, you find something, or there's a weird setup. Did he have like a red room down in the basement? In Florida, we don't have basements, by the way.
Water would come in. So the weirdest thing, you know, we closed on the house.
I won the Masters in 2012. Yeah, 2012 I won the Masters.
And then the U.S. Open was the next major back then.
And it was me, Phil Mickelson, and Tiger Woods. And we closed on his house, my new house, that same week that we all played together.
I think it was Olympic Club in California. So yeah, that's when we closed.
But obviously, we're playing golf. We didn't talk about it.
But I showed him the pictures. I took it.
I changed the house. 95% of the house I changed and made it mine instead of his.
So I showed him the pictures afterwards. Did he like what you did with it? Or was he like, why did you get rid of my special training room that I have that I play Call of Duty in and practice sniping? That's sad that you know that we all have those rooms.
Yeah. I know that he's definitely got a gaming room, right? Oh, man, who doesn't? I have a gaming room.
That's phenomenal. Yeah.
But, yeah, so, yeah, I changed it and showed him how I did things and my vision of how I wanted the house set up. But, yeah, I thought he liked it.
Did it occur to you when you were playing golf with him, like, hey, if I hold this putt on 18, why don't you knock $100,000 off the price? No, I never did because, again, the reason why I bought it is we adopted my son, and I needed a house in Florida. He couldn't leave the state of Florida for a while, and so we were in Arizona at the time.
So so i started house shopping in in isleworth and his popped up and so i was like hey man but privately i mean not popped up on like zillow you know but but it popped up so we uh wait there's like a different there's a different app that you use if you're buying high it's like the raya of uh real estate no y'all haven't got invited to that app just yet oh you'll get there i I wanted to talk about the Masters. So you have two Masters titles, 2012 and 2014.
2014, you won a little bit easier. You won by a few strokes.
2012, your first one, you won in a playoff. What? That has to be the most intense pressure cooker situation to trying to break through for your first major victory and you go to a playoff like were you just were you going crazy internally were you were you kind of losing it like holy shit this will change my life or were you able to stay like you know even keel and and do the thing so I I birdied um before we got in the playoff let's start it back um Iied – I bogeyed 12.
I was just off the green. I counted as a three-putt, even though it wasn't a three-putt statistically.
But then I birdied 13, 14, 15, 16. So now I'm tied for the lead.
And I remember talking to Ted Scott. We were walking to my caddy, and we were walking to the 17th.
We'd come around the bunker and walk up to 17T. And I said, oh, my gosh, we're tied for the lead.
He goes, yeah. I said, we have a chance to win the Masters.
He goes, yeah. He goes, hit me a good tee shot.
I sliced it so far to the left. I was like, oh, my gosh.
And then when I'm walking to the ball, I'm thinking about it in my head is that we got a chance. Just calm down.
I don't think he had the best of shots either. I can't remember where he hit it.
But if we have a lucky break or whatever in the trees or whatever it is. So I hit it on the green.
Now we make a couple pars. He makes a par.
I make a par. First playoff hole, we make pars.
And now on number 10, I hit a hook. I pulled it, my tee shot.
So I'm in the trees. And then he hits this little flare three wood.
But walking down there, I'm like, oh, my. And if you watch the coverage, you can see my shoulders drop after the tee shot.
I'm like, oh. Because 2010, I lost to Martin Kimer at Whistling Straits, the PGA Championship.
So I was like, oh, my gosh, my one chance to win a major, I blow it. Now, here's the Masters, I hook it.
I'm like, oh my gosh, my second chance in a playoff, I'm blowing it. But then when things happen, right, the wind's blowing the right way, I hit this amazing hook shot and hit it up there, give or take 15 feet, and two putt for the victory.
But at that moment, it was like the highest moment. I birdied four in a row, and then I was like, oh my gosh, I have a chance to win.
So my mind changed, right? My mindset was instead of focusing on just hitting every shot, I started focusing, I have a chance to win. And then I choked on myself and sliced it.
And then I thought I blew it again on number 10. And so, yeah, I mean, you have these – it's kind of like the book, the ups and downs.
Yeah, the swings, yeah. Yeah, it's crazy.
Now, in 2014, it always fascinates me when a golfer gets to the 18th hole

and they've got it in the bag, right?

Like, they've got it.

I'm glad you think so.

Well, yeah, the only thing that can happen is catastrophic disaster.

I don't know if you know this, but a lot of times casual golf fans will play the game of how far would we have to be up to not blow this?

Like, if we were up 10 strokes on the 18th hole at Augusta,

could I find a way to get it in the hole and win the Masters?

So is that – do you feel pressure when you're on the 18th

and you're up three strokes?

You're like, okay, I got this.

I just – there's pretty much nothing I can do to screw this up.

That's a totally different type of pressure,

but it's got to feel in a weird way almost just as extreme because you know the chance of a collapse here is like that would be all time yeah so you know as a kid you always dream of making the putt to win the masters or making the putt or throwing a touchdown pass or whatever that dream is and i dreamed of one day um winning by so much at any tournament i was just going to everybody down the fairway. Yes.
So now I'm winning by three. I hit this beautiful three wood right down the middle, hit this nine iron to about, you know, a little cut nine iron to about 12 feet.
I'm winning by three. And I was like, nope.
And I kept my head down because I was like, would you rather be the winner or would you rather be that guy they talked about? And so I was like, don't high five anybody. You keep your head down.
And I remember Ted Scott was right next to me on the green, and I said, hey, I can four putt, right? And he goes, yes. I said, are you sure? Like, look at the board.
I didn't want to look at the board. So I said, look at the board again.
He said, yes, you can four putt. I said, are you sure? Like, we're acting like we're looking at the putt, and I'm like, I'm talking to him not about which way way it breaks i'm like i can four putt right he said yes so i hit it so easy i mean it stopped a couple inches short and i tapped it in you didn't ask him like hey can i can three putt i get three putt well i went that one real fast so i'd make sure i hit it good but so i tapped it in and then my son walks out and i remember picking my son up.
He wasn't there the first Masters, and now he's there.

And so he walks out on the green.

I pick him up, and then I went down to the front of the green.

And because he was in my right hand, I high-fived all the way down on my left.

I went all the way down to the front of the green, high-fived,

went down the crowd to the scoring area, and high-fived all the way.

Because I remember that moment as a kid, and so I wanted to do it.

Now that my son was in my arms, and I've already won, I could go ahead.

so I tried I did partly

but yeah

but the

Thank you. all the way and because I remember that moment as a kid and so I wanted to do it now that my son was in my arms and I've already won I could go ahead and so I tried I did partly but yeah for the first part I was scared to death I appreciate that though because I think that it's you know when we're watching a tournament a major tournament and you have a guy who's up a lot I expect them to have that type of like feeling like oh man like even though I have it can I four-putt so you know if going back um i know that's what i want to do so going back in 12 um i putted it to what eight inches past the hole and so i if you noticed if you remember the footage or seen the footage i told everybody to quiet down because the week before that there was a girl in the lpga tour that had a one and aa-half-foot putt to win her first major.
She missed it. And then she lost in a playoff.
So in my head, in this playoff now on 12, I was like, don't be the guy that misses this. You tap it.
Take your time. Tap it in.
So I did that. And then when I was now flashback to 14, I was like, okay, you're winning by three.
Keep your head down. Finish the tournament.
Finish the tournament. Because I didn't, again, I didn't want to be taught.
I'd rather be talked about slow play than I would lose in the golf tournament. Absolutely.
Speaking of the crowds, if you hit a shot, like you said, the slice that you hit, I think you hit it off left on that hole after. Were you tied at the time? I was tied going into 17.
Tied going into 17. You hit a shot like that, and then the gallery crowds around your shot, right? Every time I see that on TV, I'm always nervous for the golfer that, like, hey, these guys are too close to where the ball is going to be flying.
Does the thought even, like, creep into your brain? Like, this person, the angle that they gave me is way too narrow. I'm afraid I'm just going to dome somebody with my next shot.
Yes, for sure. It goes back to the playoff in 2010.
Dustin Johnson, you know, he grounded his club in a bunker in a waste area, sand, whatever it was. And so he didn't make the playoff because of that penalty.
So now, going forward, Teddy, I make him go, I don't make him, but he goes up there and starts backing everybody up so I can see the shot, get everybody away, because I don't want to feel too tight when I'm swinging my club, when they're a little close to me. Now, the Masters is a different ballgame.
They have people that dictate where fans can go and patrons can go. So that's different.
Now, in a regular tournament, the crowds are tighter and all these things. But, yeah, so Teddy would go up, and he would make sure the crowd's backed up because I want to be able to see the shot.
I like how you corrected yourself, though, the patrons. It's very important.
Yes, I've learned that before. All right, so you've got to do foreplay in a second here.
I've got one last question. It's the Roback question.
Go to Roback.com. Use code PFT for 20% off your first purchase.
Roback.com slash PFT for 20% off your first purchase. Best performance, zips, hoodies.
They've got golf shirts, everything. R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com, code PFT.
All right, my last question. Are you ready to guarantee the Georgia Bulldogs win the national championship? Yeah, I'm already checking out my ring size.
Oh, okay. Like they're going to give me a national championship ring.
Why not? I wonder how much, what do you think the money is I have to donate to get a national championship ring? I think you already get one because every time they do college game day, you're like ready to go. So I, you, I think you get one, but we need a headline.
Bubba Watson declares Georgia Bulldogs to win the national championship. How about this? I'll declare they're going to be in the SEC championship.
Alright, that's not easy. That's easy.
Okay. Good one.

Way to go out on a limb. There you go.

Also, are you going to play the Masters until you're like 90?

Because I love when guys do that. Like Freddie Couples

still playing. I love that.

Freddie Couples has back problems

except that week. Yeah.

I love it. I would do the same

thing. Like, oh, I can play.
I won.

I can play for the rest of my life. Yeah, you'll

see me when I'm 95. Until I get that piece of paper that says bubba you're just a little your golf game sucks until you injure a patron right well i've done that many times let's don't yeah that should be out there um but no they're gonna have to tell me bubba you suck at golf yeah i would just show up for the for the cheap cheese sandwiches free dinner on on thursday night but the par three, though, the par three? Yeah.
Oh, my gosh. That would be, to do that, especially have my kids caddy for me? Yes.
As I get older, you know, where they have to help me to the cheap box? Yes, I love it. That would be awesome.
I love it. Well, this was awesome, man.
We really appreciate it. Everyone go check out his book.
It's called Up and Down, Victories and Struggles in the Course of Life, Bubba Watson, Master Champion. Thank you so much.
Man, but thank you all, man. Thanks for having me.
Also, Brooks or Bryson? Oh, my gosh, man. Brooks, he all day.
There we go. Let's go.
But there's a reason why, though. Because he's cool? Well, there's a different reason.
Because the other guy's Bryson. Yeah.
No, because Brooks puts on this thing where he thinks he's a Superman, but he is such a teddy bear behind the scenes. He beautiful man.
Exactly. Yeah, so I love him for that.
Okay. Good answer.
Thank you, Bubba. Yeah, thanks Our little roast sesh here with chaps is gonna be brought to you by our good friends here at Barstool Bites We love Barstool Bites Barstool Bites is a brand new Delivery app where you can get free delivery exclusively for next 30 days only.
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Awesome thing that we're doing, Barstoolstool bites taking over the world in terms of uh food delivery so check it out all right our beautiful wonderful great colleague uncle chaps is here the greatest reader of all time that's right zero block 30 go download it right now uh you can also hear him on podfathers you can also hear hear him blogging about the Jaguars. Things aren't going well.
I actually had two real quick questions. No, I need to talk to you.
I need to talk to you first. All right, but let me ask my question first.
What? Okay. In three sentences or less, explain why we got out of Afghanistan.
We were losing. No, I'm just kidding.
You don't have to do that. It wasn't going great.
Okay. It cost a lot of money got it that's pretty good that was actually really good I was doing that as a joke but you nailed it thank you alright now what's your problem with me I called you the other day one you've broke the rules of our call game okay can I tell you where I was yeah alright so you called me at like 10am on Monday for in the football season, I actually listened to my own body and went back to sleep after I dropped my son off to school for an hour nap to try to restore my health.
Didn't do a lot, but I was sleeping. That's why I missed your call.
That was the only excuse I was going to let you ride with. I literally dropped him off at nine, and then I got...
Because I was like, I know they stayed up late recording. It was Sunday night.
They're probably doing whoop, whoop. No, that's definitely late.
Exactly. We whoop, whoop till 2 in the morning.
You guys were whooping all over the place. So that was it.
But I wanted to talk to you. I don't remember what was actually said on the show, but I remember PFT said something very ugly about the Jags.
Yeah, I don't know. That doesn't sound like us.
And you giggled like a hard, real giggle. I think he said, just move the Jags to England.
I said, you did a giggle, and I was like, this motherfucker. Oh, man.
And I tried to call you about it because I thought it was beyond rude. I think it was that stat that Chaps' Jaguars are 3-14 on the West Coast, but that's actually a massive improvement over their normal record.
Yeah. And then Big Cat let out the...
Yeah, the Jersey Jerry. I've got a very serious question for you because Chaps, massive Astros fan, big Texas baseball fan, the Braves are playing the Astros game 6 tonight, so this could be it.
It's already happened. It's already happened by the time you're listening.
Are you a coward for not shaving your beard, for not getting creamed by Boris? Creamed? Like last time you were in the World Series. Well, last time I got...
You got creamed after game six. Would you like to get creamed? Well, I got creamed, and then the Astros got creamed.
Yeah. So maybe I go the other way and don't shave and see if they can pull off the comeback.
I feel like you have to defeat the cream.

You have to go back. You have to get back on that horse and try your hand again.
If the Astros lose the World Series, you get creamed. No.
If the Astros win the World Series, you get creamed. Well, I made a little announcement that because I grew up a Braves fan because I'm from Florida, and I think it's just the rite of passage you had to.
being from Florida and then switching

in 2018 to being an

Astros fan because my kid lives closer to

Houston. I want to take him to games and things like that.
I'm renouncing baseball for two years. That's fair.
You're sitting this one out. That's actually the right thing to do.
Because I don't feel like I could celebrate either way. I don't feel like I could be upset that the Braays won because my Nana, rest in peace, like she would have wanted that to happen.
Oh, so, okay. So I can't root against- But she's not here with us anymore.
I can't root against the ghost of my grandmother. Right.
Who would have been very happy and she's going to want to watch it from heaven. Right.
I can't do that. Are you confirmed she's in heaven? And I'm not going to take any satisfaction.
Yes. I was just asking.
Why would you say it? That was a question. She's lovely.
That was a question. Was she confirmed heaven? Very loyal.
Confirmed heaven. Very confirmed.
100% confirmed. Super heaven.
You'd put your journalistic integrity on Nana being in heaven. I'd put my balls on the line.
Whoa. I can't wait to see you get your castrated.
Do you think that Ghost can hear us talk right now? Say again? Do you think Ghost can hear us talk right now? Absolutely Do you think Nana would know if you root against the Braves? Yes I definitely think she would Shout out Nana She's doing the chop up in heaven I mean there'd be times where I didn't talk to her for like six months And she would call me occasionally and being like I don't feel like you're being a good boy and that's good she's

definitely in heaven and she was usually right yeah nana subscribed to the podcast yes she was a big long time slowly oh big time let's do quick quick list of top top three stoolies that might have passed away in the last couple years princeville number one i wouldn't know oh okay He was one of those.

He would do like asterisk barstool.

Oh, not my barstool?

Yeah, not my barstool yeah not my barstool i know but he would also be like i hate barstool but i love the pizza reviews i have to watch i think prince philip was milton tough like he would be probably was like they sold out when they moved to new york maybe yeah maybe seem like one of those newspaper guy i wish once it went from the newspaper he like, I don't want any of that newfangled digital stuff. Yeah, he was one of those guys who was like, I missed the barstool when we had one video every three months.
If Hank's not on the damn wall with duct tape, I don't want it. That's what he sounds like.
He reads all the Jerry Thornton blogs still. He's a big sex schedule teacher guy.
All right, so who else have we lost? It was a huge... Kobe.
Stooley. Huge Stooley.
Huge Stooley. Yep.
AWL, everything. Put it...
He had it... I think he had...
Kobe probably led the league in Saturdays for the boys' shirts purchased. Oh, easily.
Yeah. Easily.
He's probably paid for Fidelberg's kids to go to college. There's no doubt about that.
Yes. I'm trying to think who else.
Who else have we lost? Oh, H.W. Oh, Ed Asner.
H.W. was a huge stoolie.
Loved the socks. He had the Larry the Goldfish socks they used to wear.
Yeah. When he'd be like, baseball.
Yeah, that was my favorite clip of him on the field, and he realizes in the moment that he's on a baseball. But But really what can you do in that moment? If you're HWU I mean think about his career like he was the head of the CIA he did all kinds, he was in his vice president, he was president the most accomplished politician you could say in the history of the United States except for that second election that he lost.
And i would and when he puked on the japanese dictator or whatever not dictator president it was a fart wasn't it no he puked on him yeah he got food poisoning on the premiere of japan yeah it was tough did he also did he get shot down a few times oh yeah yeah yeah he got shot down and then his his letters that he wrote to bar's just absolutely. Oh, Barb's also.

Barb's big chicks in the office.

Yeah, huge stoolie.

Huge stoolie.

She's called her daddy.

She actually likes tea with publicity.

Yes.

Well, did.

Barbara Bush has passed, right? Oh, I thought you said publicity has passed.

No.

No.

No, I just saw her today.

That was a massive shock to my system.

Bob Dole's still alive.

Speaking of former president's still alive, Jimmy Carter, if we lose him, I would imagine our page views will go down. Are you ready for a Jimmy Carter? Fun fact.
When I started doing long-time Thule stuff, which I'm starting back up, by the way, I finally set my shop up. I got a book in the mail from Jimmy Carter signed, two chaps, keep it up, but.
So he actually is a stoolie. He actually, well, I think it's like his great grandson or something like that.
That still counts. It's in my shop sitting there from old Jimmy.
Wow. Jimmy, big fan of Smoke Show of the Day.
Wow. Yeah.
Fuck yeah, guess that ass, Jimmy Carter. He was like, I know that ass.
That's Barb's.

Jimmy Carter's the rare American where people are like,

even if they absolutely hate him as a politician,

they're like, I have to admit, he's pretty cool

because if you spend 40 years of your life

just volunteering to build houses for homeless people,

nobody can say anything about you anymore.

Good person.

Yeah, I think Jimmy Carter needs a TikTok too.

Like standing on one of those ruse with his gross yellow toenails being like, I understood the assignment. I have a serious question for you though.
So you're sitting right next to, I think technically your superior, Billy Football. I believe he outranks you now since he's still of eligible age to serve in the United States military.
What do you think about Billy's outfits outfits recently i like him i think he looks very nice no but when he wears the camo and in the airport exclusively gets upgraded first class no it's a smart move it's a smart move so you're okay with it and i actually like it i think more people who aren't in the military need to start wearing camouflage that helps the military members with opsec like at anti-terrorism awareness where you're just throwing people off the scent they They don't know which one is the troop and which one isn't. Oh, okay.
And also it's probably nice. Like if you just got out of the military and you're still making that transition to civilian life, if you have a lot of people around you that wear, you know, little hints, little pieces of flair of camouflage, it's a transition.
You can acclimate. Yeah.
Yeah. Last thing before we get to the roast.
Salute to troops month in the NFL.

That's got to feel special.

Oh, God.

It feels so good.

Like to finally.

They're making the football about you.

To have like a backwards American flag on the sleeve of a hoodie just feels so good.

Yeah.

Actually, the Jaguars shouldn't be allowed to salute the troops.

No.

I feel like that's demoralizing for the troops.

They give a F you to the troops, specifically you, by being bad.

Urban Meyer's got to be done.

Thank you. the Jaguars shouldn't be allowed to salute the troops.
No. I feel like that's demoralizing for the troops.
They give a F you to the troops, specifically you, by being bad. Urban Meyer's got to be done, right? I actually think that the Jags should, and this is something I hadn't thought about, I wouldn't mind seeing the Jags have to wear red jerseys when they go play in England.
They're like the Red Cubs. Yeah.
Yes, yes. Well, they will eventually be the home team.
Don't you dare. England.
Trevor Lawrence is good. Who do you want for your next coach? He is good.
Not Urban. I was all in on Urban.
You guys know. I was tweeting.
I was positive about Urban. Two 12 men on the field in a row.
And there was also two on offense that you guys didn't talk about. Oh, my God.
They had to do a timeout because one happened on offense as well. And one of them, they had 12 men on the field after halftime.
The first possession after halftime. How does that happen? It's Urban Meyer.
Urban Meyer. What did you think about his video, though? Did we in the media turn it into a big thing when in reality it's just, you know, him getting some strange on with his knuckles? Well, there's two schools of thought on buttfingering, first up it didn't go inside the denim like whenever you if you really zoom in the dent the denim never dents right so it was more like a brushing it was a great it was a it was it was kind of the foreplay at the bar like hey do you like this if you like this there's more knuckles where this like when you're in or like you're in middle school and you're trying to hold hands for the first time.
Like brushing up against someone. You see if their finger touches your finger a little bit.
And then you go with the one. Like, are we going to interlock one little pinky? Yeah.
Whose leg? Like, oh, did that leg just brush up on mine? Does she know I'm actually touching it? Her leg and her hand? Does she know? Is it okay? It was. That's kind of what everyone's doing.

But that's so thrilling, right guys? It is. The graze and then she can

lean back further into the hand if she's

enjoying the knuckles that are like dancing

with the butt and then it's on her. You give

her the agency to determine

how much concentration.

Exactly. It's actually a very, it's a good

thing that Urban was doing.

I am long standing believer that

like almost fucking is better than

fucking because you can go home

I'm going to go home. Yeah, exactly.
It's actually a very, it's a good thing that Urban was doing. I am longstanding believer that like almost fucking is better than fucking.

Because you can go home and one, you didn't cheat on your wife.

So good job, Urban.

We don't talk about that part. She doesn't have to get off Twitter.

Yeah, two.

She had 50,000 followers.

Now she's gone.

Yeah, two, you can go home and get the late night piece of pizza and be like, man, I would

have fucked.

And it would have been, I would have, I would have been awesome. Still got it.
Yeah got it yeah i would have like if i wanted to we would have fucked for a really long time and there's got to be something to be as old as urban meyer is like i guess he's in his 60s probably 50s 60s sure something somewhere around that been married for like 30 years can you imagine the thrill of a new first kiss yeah and almost fucking is I. Man.
I don't want to speak out of school, but he probably jerked off to himself. Oh, he'd definitely been jerking off about it.
That poor girl. For sure.
That poor girl, though. You should see his ceiling.
Oh, yeah. So just clear up.
Chaps does come on his ceiling. No.
Where did that come from, by the way? Because I woke up on Sunday morning, and I opened up Instagram, and the part of my take account was like, just to be clear, Big Cat did not say that Chaps came on his ceiling. I was like, I missed a whole story last night.
Well, I was three-cheat goofing one night and decided to, I was scrolling through TikTok, and you know, they constantly have those ads for those galaxy machines that'll put galaxies up on your wall or on on your ceiling and so i thought that would be awesome in my office when i'm watching football or something at night i ordered it it came and immediately it looked like there was a cum black light on my ceiling right like i looked up i was like it looks like i i blew a load right all over my ceiling which at seven and a half feet ceilings Quite a load. You've been eating some pineapple.
But you did. You didn't.
Did not come. Salactites.
But it did seem. Not come.
I was reporting that you did. You have come ceilings.
Well I appreciate that because people like it when a girthy nut. They do enjoy that.
Jimmy Carter mostly. Oh yeah.
Huge. Mashed potatoes.
Oh god. Alright let's do the that.
Jimmy Carter, mostly. Oh, yeah.
Huge. Mashed potatoes.
Oh, God. All right, let's do the roast.
All right, here we go. Roast.
Listener roast. Thank you, listeners, for roasting us.
First up, PFT looks like a guy that sells LSD at Coachella and says, quote, no worries a lot. Those are two great compliments I just got right there.
Thank you, dude. You are no worries, guy.
No worries. No worries is great.
You put people at ease. Billy looks like Deputy Dewey from the original Scream movie.
The only difference is Deputy Dewey actually served his country. Oh, good one.
Yep. A fake sharp, a typical JMU frat boy looking for an excuse to get a haircut, an easily triggered fake Boston crybaby, a man child who gets turned on by high school football players, and Jake.
Chris Farley giggled. That was me and the fake sharp.
I don't think I'm a fake sharp. This one continues.
Oh, sorry. I thought that was separate.
Chris Farley giggled their way through interviews, but for some reason, we listeners listen three times listen three times a week. We love you guys.
Ooh, okay. What a suck-up at the end.
I don't think that that's fair to call Big Cat a fake sharp. If anything, you're a fake square.
Yeah. I'm a terrible, terrible gambler.
What? Would somebody that was a fake sharp be able to have something called the Can't Lose Parlay? Good question. I don't think so.
Good question. Would someone who's a fake sharp also be as open about their losing? I'm not like Vegas Dave, who, by the way, I still, I just got to tip my hat to him because Vegas Dave, when he does, when he loses his like 100 unit whale play, then he'll release and be like, I actually, that was the opposite play because I knew that some of you were sharing my plays.
So the 100 unit loserit loser was actually a winner. Who's Davis Dave? I have no idea.
Davis Dave. Who's that? He's the guy who always likes, how do I always win? Remember, he sits courtside of the Lakers.
No idea. You know who he is, Hank.
You know who he is, Billy. It sounds like I'm glad that I don't have...
People know who he is. But he'll do that.
He dated the golfer. Yeah, yeah.
The Holly Saunders. Didn't they have like a big to-do?

Yeah.

Yeah.

He'll lose a hundred unit play, like quadruple your max, you know, your bet worth or whatever.

He'll lose that.

And then it'll be like, that was actually a prank because so many of you were releasing my plays.

That was to get you off the trail of the real winner, which was the opposite of the loser.

Got it.

Genius.

Also, I don't think that I'm a frack. I'm not a frack guy.
I played rugby. It's a completely different thing.
Totally different. Totally different.
I have a question for you guys. Have you came out as the first major sports podcast to be pro-UTSA in the college football playoffs? Sure.
Yeah. No, absolutely.
Meep, meep. Is it beep, beep or meep, meep? It's meep, meep.
Meep, meep, meep. Oh, that's right.
Michelle Beadle went to UTSA. She's probably their most famous alumni, right? And Travis Scott.
The only, yeah. I've ranked them very high.
Many weeks. Top 10.
And there's some other dude that they have on the Wikipedia page for famous alums that was like a, he was like a newscaster in Amarillo, Texas. Okay, that works.
I'm not on that. I've had them top 10 multiple weeks.
I've emailed the vice president of the school and be like, can I get on this Wikipedia page? They're like, no. That's a little thirsty, chaps.
Well, I want to be on that. So do you think they might make the college football playoff? If they beat El Paso.
Yeah. Rivalry game.
Huge, huge. The minors.
If you you go you're going out to El Paso to face the Miners you better pack a fucking sack lunch do they still play in the Almodome you're in all that country ass whooping do they play in the Almodome yeah that is the worst place in the world to watch a basketball game or football or football yeah I was giving it credit maybe to be football but man was it bad when we went for that basketball game. Is it still the guy from Miami that's your coach?

No, that was Larry Coker.

The national championship. It's Jeff Traylor.

Not just any basketball game.

San Antonio, great to go to for the Final Four.

The actual venue.

I think we were in the first section, the lower bowl,

and we were in row 78.

You can't see anything.

Yeah, we were so far back. The only thing I know about UTSsa is the saying that you can't spell nut sack without utsa nice and that makes me love it yeah it's a good saying but you have to be proactive you have to like pop a dot that like you have to really be rabbit them there because if you go out and you say we're gonna draw our or we're gonna drag our nut sack across your face and you capitalize the utsa it, then you own it back.
You take it back. Get out in front of it.
Control the narrative. I like that.
Then they can't be like, oh, you can't spell nutsack. I already said that, dude.
But that's also not an insult to tell me that I can't spell nutsack without UTSA. Yeah, because nutsacks are valuable.
They're vital to human life. Yeah, I mean, let's hope if Nana's not in heaven, you won't have a...
I mean, you made that deal. The only way I would know is if I went to hell, so then I have to go to hell and get my nuts cut off.
If she's sitting there at hell when you show up... Well, well, well.
Look who it is. Yeah, shouldn't have put your nutsack on the line.
I guess you were being a bad boy. A homeless lady, a diabetic round mound of donuts, a homely-looking 28-year-old with the athleticism of a beach wood, a fat former D3 college football player, a nerd.
Oh, wow. He's not fat.
He's just chubby. Yeah.
He will be fat at all. He will be.
I was fat. You were? Belly.
He had belly football days. And Bubba that tried to coherently put together sentences on a three-day week basis.

Ooh.

Okay.

The cord-cutting sellouts, a chinless 28-year-old fake Steve Irwin obsessed with high school football

and a man with decent suits talk about football, coffee, and the incompetence of the Bears and the Washington football team.

Okay.

Yeah.

By the way, Jake's suits are not cheap. Yeah, no, they're not cheap.
I hope Jake... How much was it? $1,000 worth of suits? $1,000 worth of suits? Jake was premium suits.
Indochino? Two full suits plus some extra ties. Okay.
Yeah. We're on a shopping spree.
Huge. Was it Indochino or no? Yeah.
Sure. PFT looks like a guy who never does his laundry even though his shirts fit like they all shrink in the wash.
That's good. That's a very good one.
I like that. This one's good, too.
Big Cat wears jeans to the sauna. Oh, that hurts.
Wait, is that an insult? I think so. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
I've worn jeans to the sauna. Well, no, because I don't wear shorts, yeah.
Ever? I do. When it's hot.
Really, really hot. When's the last? I don't think I've ever seen you in shorts.
Yeah. When it's really, really hot.
When it's like over 90, I'll put on some shorts. Now that I think about it, yeah, you don't wear shorts.
I feel foolish when I'm walking around. I'll wear shorts like by the beach.
Shorts. By a pool.
Shorts. Give it another five or six years, that's going to be peak, Dad.
Yeah. Because you're going to be showing up to the beach in beach in jeans.
Oh, man, what a dad move that is. No, I would never do that.
I just don't like going to work in shorts. Okay.
PFT is the kind of kid when you get pre-cum gets there first. If Hank were a spice, he'd be a flower.
Big Cat? I don't get any of this. He'd be flower, like if he was spice.
You got a number of chaps? Chaps doesn't really know how to read Yeah what is the pre-cum part? Could you hear that? Because you don't have your headphones on You're not real pre-cum You're not real cum You're just pre-cum Yeah you're the Pre-cum of a person You're watered down cum Okay got it Big Cat looks like he vapes But also uses an inhaler That's me I like to use an inhaler before I have sex. Oh.
It gets everything really opened up so you can breathe good. I'd rather eat a pine cone than hang out with Billy Football.
You're a nice guy. I don't understand why people are so mean.
I like Billy. He's a pathological liar.
Oh. Is that true? Right.
See that? He he just said no it would be fun to pick the lice

out of pft's hair and hide them under a big cat's b-cup tits when he sits down they're c they're probably c also make a lot of sense to shave billy's rhino horn and use the extra bone for Hank's beta chin.

I hope Jake is having a nice day.

Damn.

That was a that was a clean sweep that was well done that was very good pft you look like an inbred version of chewbacca if i had a dollar for every donut that big cat ate i would be able to buy pft a new cardboard box to live in um pmt three guys from your hometown coming back after a year of college thinking they've lived a really full life because of their hair mustache and and weed give them too much attention to the human version of aim smarter child and someone who would be eliminated the first week of every season of the challenge while the one who is worth listening to never gets to speak.

Oh, damn.

Who's that?

I think Jake.

Bubba?

Bubba?

Oh, wow. Oh, damn.

We got Bubba Stan out there.

Bubba Stan.

Love it.

Shout out.

Thick Cat looks like he'll refinance your mortgage for a nice rate, but get too flirty

with your wife during the process.

I can see that.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

If you didn't do this, you would be something very creepy and horny. A lot.
I have low T. Do you? Yeah.
And you'd compensate for that at the used car lot. For sure.
Exactly. I'd probably be taking some kind of weird steroids.
You see the game this weekend? That game this weekend. There was a guy that I worked with when I sold used cars.
He wore a gun to work. He just openried a pistol with him.
That's business. Just patrolling the lot.
That's business. You got to let him know.
It was great. Don't try any funny business, sir.
Peacock in a little bit. I would buy a car from that guy, or else he'd shoot me.
Try walking away from a negotiation with that guy. No.
And I hate it when they put, like, we're going to put a number down. We want to sign this.
Take it to the... If that guy has a gun, you sign whatever he's got.
Exactly. I'll take that right now.
Chaps looks like the guy you meet at a party who tells you about how he's been brewing craft beer in his basement for 10 straight minutes, and all you asked him was where the bathroom was. That's mean, but...
Yeah, you do give off a Rado vibe. Colorado vibe.
Oh, yeah. Colorado was my number one state in the power rankings that I recently did.
What was 2-3? I only did two, but it was Colorado and then Tennessee. Nice! You put Colorado 1 over Tennessee.
Yeah. Interesting.
I have to agree with that. And one, because I went with ultimate state college just based on uniforms.
I look terrible in orange. Yeah.
So I would go with gold. Yeah, black.
Yeah, Colorado black and gold. But black, I got to be careful.
I don't want that to be the primary color because I got, like, beard dandruff and stuff. Oh, gross.
You know who could fix that? Who? A little Boris? Probably. He could cream you.
You won't get a cream? You'd have no beard dandruff. All right, is that it? That's it.
Oh, man. Always great to have you on, Chaps.
We love you. We miss you.
When are you coming back? Hard to say. Okay.
How long are you here for? Saturday. Whoa.
Yeah. I'm busy the rest of the week.
Me too. Super busy.
What's next for you? Content-wise. What's next? Oh, so I'm going to be bringing back Longtide Toolies.
I finally cleaned up my shed where I can build stuff again. I'm redoing my fire pit.
I'm going to be baking my fire pit and smoking a big old turkey to teach people how to do it for Thanksgiving. Love it.
Yes. Chaps also had an electric performance inside Stoolstream Stadium earlier.
It was incredible. What'd you do? Comes out on Thursday.
Rock, paper, suit, shoot? Oh, yeah. I heard that something statistically impossible happened in this matchup You want to do it right now? Just one.
All right. One, two, three, shoot.
One, two, three, shoot. One, two, three, boom.
Damn. Got him.
Big Cat after two ties. Got him.
Gets the win with the paper. I was thrown off because this time I could actually see him.
I like the table to keep things under wraps. Chaps, what temperature is your pool? Right now? Yeah.
88. Ready to roll now i never knew how much of a stunt that was that is such an unbelievable monetary flex yeah yeah i only because in march or april was april and it's 85 degrees in april in san antonio i put my pool at 78 degrees.
I got the gas bill back. It was like $550 for one month.

Him, 88 degrees? That shit must be like $1,500. $1,000 a month.
That's the source, man. It's too finer.
Goodness gracious. Chaps, you want to guess numbers with us? Yes, I was going to ask you.
97. 92.
74. Actually, 91.
18. 69.
Nice. 38 out Out of play What was your guess, Jack? Thank you, Jake I got 74 74 14 First timer First timer Skorigami Wow Alright How many we got left? 10 14 14 left after getting 14? Yeah, look at that.
Isn't that wild? Wow. That is wild.
Holy shit. All right.
Thanks, chaps. Love you.
Love you too. Love you guys.
The only competent intern on part of my take is a giant fucking alpha and his name is Jake Hitting score gummies, his hobbies are Mansplaining college basketball to girls in bars Pigs Hung yeah, he's the best in the office Kick the shit out of Liam if the lunder doesn't hit No, he doesn't fucking swear, he's a big J Silly, hey, Jake said a reminder to help for the fuck out of Billy. Jake on me.
Jake on me. Jake me on.
Jake on me. He's the fucking best in the abyss.
He's the best one He's the fucking best in the abyss.

He's the best one here.

I'm the best in the abyss.