Bubba Watson, The Braves Win The WS, CFP Rankings & Uncle Chaps Roasts Us

Speaker 1 Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.

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Speaker 1 On today's part of my take, we have Masters Champion Bubba Watson, two-time Masters Champion Bubba Watson in studio. His new book is out.
We also have our very good friend Uncle Chaps on Rose

Speaker 1 slash just catching up with him. Very, very funny.
A lot of giggles to be had.

Speaker 1 We talk World Series, the Braves did it. We talk Monday night football, NFL trade deadline, college football rankings, they are here.

Speaker 1 And then we have Hot Seat Cool Throne, a packed Wednesday show. Lots to get to.

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Speaker 2 At participating, McDonald's.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 Now in the street, there is violence,

Speaker 1 and then a lot of

Speaker 1 work to be done.

Speaker 1 No place to hang out or washing.

Speaker 1 And then I can't blame all on the sun. Oh, no, we're gonna rock down to Elite Trick Iven.

Speaker 1 And then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna rock down to Elan Trake High.

Speaker 2 It's part of my take, presented by Parsons Sports.

Speaker 1 Welcome to part of my take presented by the Chevy Silverado, the strongest, most advanced Silverado ever. Today is Wednesday, November 3rd, and the Atlanta Braves are your World Series champions.
Woo!

Speaker 1 Congratulations! Unbelievable! To the entire series. No, whoa! Jake is doing the...
No, I'm not doing it.

Speaker 1 You're singing it.

Speaker 1 You did the chop. Whoa, whoa.
Now,

Speaker 1 full disclosure.

Speaker 1 Full disclosure for everyone listening

Speaker 1 right now. Like a chop.
Full disclosure for everyone listening right now. It is actually still in the top of the sixth.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 congratulations.

Speaker 1 Yeah, validity.

Speaker 1 He did a halfway chop? No, I didn't. I saw the hand come up.
I didn't know what was going on.

Speaker 2 Now he's doing sideways chops.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow. No.
You know what, though?

Speaker 1 The moment took you away because the Braves are the World Series champions.

Speaker 2 And not just congratulations to the Braves. Congratulations to the entire city of Atlanta and everybody in Georgia.
The drought is over.

Speaker 2 You guys have suffered through probably more heartbreak than any other fan base. If you're a Falcons fan, if you're a Braves fan, if you're a University of Georgia fan,

Speaker 2 it's been tough for the last 25 years on you guys, and tonight was about overcoming obstacles in life. Congratulations.
You've done it. Give yourselves a big pat on the back.

Speaker 1 Again, it's still the top of the six, but that's okay because we're proving to the people. Actually, it's mid-six now.
Astro's going to bat. We're proving that Jinxes aren't real.

Speaker 1 You proved it by winning the World Series. We proved it by starting this show in the sixth inning.

Speaker 2 Well, really, we started this show like two weeks ago. Congratulations.
Sure.

Speaker 1 Braves won. Which, again, proves Jinxes aren't real.
But yes, Atlanta, you deserve this. We oftentimes talk about the cursed sports cities.
It's like Atlanta and Minnesota.

Speaker 1 Are you still laughing about Jake's chop?

Speaker 4 Well, that, and I just, like, I just, I want the Astros to come back so no, no, no, not that.

Speaker 1 Bad Hank. I'm not going to have to go back.
Bad Hank. No.
Bad. No.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Okay?

Speaker 1 Don't do that. Okay.
But yeah, no, seriously, that's awesome for Atlanta. They deserve this.
It has been a long time coming. 28-3 happened.
Every Georgia football season happened.

Speaker 1 The Hawks are a franchise still. You lost the Thrashers? No one brings up the fact they lost the Thrashers.

Speaker 2 No, they don't.

Speaker 1 And he didn't really care.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah, that's a bad day to bring that up.

Speaker 2 Put that together.

Speaker 1 He did score 50 goals.

Speaker 2 Also, on the field, the home run that Soler hit over the train tracks. If you're the Houston Astros, you have to blow up that train station.

Speaker 2 You have to blow up those tracks because there have been so many iconic home runs that have found their way onto or through those train tracks in the history of your franchise in the biggest possible moments that you've had.

Speaker 2 You've got to blow that fucking thing up. You can't bring the Hill back, bring the flagpole in Centerfield back, get rid of the fucking train.

Speaker 1 When Jorge Soler hit that home run and that pimp job he did, a verbal meme, I was the guy with the happy face crying behind it, and the happy face was saying Wade Davis was really sick that one year for the Cubs because Jorge Solaire, when he hits a home run,

Speaker 1 it's got bad intentions. And guess what? There's one other thing, a bonus thing for Braves fans who, again, I'm very, very happy for Braves fans who listen to this show, for Atlanta sports fans.

Speaker 1 This is your moment. You lead, pardon my take.
Again, you're not actually World Series champions yet, but you are. You are on this show.

Speaker 1 They can never take this recording away.

Speaker 1 Guess what? A little even extra cherry on top. The Braves already have won free agency.

Speaker 2 How's that?

Speaker 1 Ronald Decunha will be back next year. That's right.
Greatest free agent signing you can have.

Speaker 2 Absolutely.

Speaker 1 They did throw that on the board.

Speaker 2 What about this, big cat? Do you think that the Braves are better without Ronald Decuna?

Speaker 1 Oh, I'm not going to do that. Because they just won the World Series.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 I don't know. And fuck the Astros, y'all.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Hey, y'all.

Speaker 2 Y'all just were fixing to lose the World Series. Y'all got your shit pushed in big time, y'all.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You got dominated game six.
You didn't even get to a game seven.

Speaker 2 You know what the key behind this game was, Big Cat? What? Do you remember flashback 2019 going into game six of that World Series? Yes. The Nationals against the Astros.

Speaker 2 I believe I gave a key to the game because I learned a new baseball stat that postseason. Yep.
Do you remember what that was? What was it? Babbitt.

Speaker 1 Babbitt. Babbitt.

Speaker 2 Batting average on balls and play.

Speaker 2 Turns out Max Freed has had abnormally bad Babbitt luck this entire postseason. There it is.
It's time for it to get turned around. I think his Babbip was 280 in the regular season.

Speaker 2 In the playoffs, it jumped up to 380.

Speaker 1 Hell yeah.

Speaker 2 Water always finds its level. I knew that the Babbitt was going to be in play, put a heavy bet on Max Freed on the Hotlander Braves, and guess what? It worked out because Babbitt don't lie.

Speaker 1 It worked out. And credit to us.
I think everyone on this podcast, did we all have Braves in six? I'm pretty sure we did.

Speaker 2 I don't remember exactly how many games I had.

Speaker 4 I had Braves in five.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. So you were wrong.

Speaker 2 I might have said Braves clean sweep.

Speaker 1 Braves clean sweep. All right, I had Braves in six.
I know I did. I think Hank did as well.
Also, the Braves. Shout out the Braves.
I mean,

Speaker 1 all year it was talk about the Giants. It was talked about the Dodgers.
Rightfully so. You know, the Cardinals had a crazy run at the end of the year.
The Astro, like, all these teams.

Speaker 1 The Braves had 88 wins. They had 88 wins.
They were in

Speaker 1 the worst division in baseball in NL East. It doesn't matter.
It's how you play once you get into the playoffs. And they were the best team in the playoffs from start to finish, and they deserved it.

Speaker 2 Now, Hank, do you think that if the Red Sox had gotten into the World Series, they would have beaten the Braves? Absolutely.

Speaker 2 Congratulations to the Boston Red Sox. Thank you.
2021 World Series champions.

Speaker 4 I was going to say also the fact that their pitcher, starting pitcher, got his ankle stepped on in the first inning.

Speaker 4 That's worst case scenario. Ace, best pitcher on your team.

Speaker 1 Well, their ace are

Speaker 2 already broke his fibula.

Speaker 4 That's your worst case first inning scenario because a metal spike in your ankle can't feel good and he just has been absolutely shocked.

Speaker 2 So the guy that was running running first base, I forget who it was, but he had rubber. He had, yeah, was it Coray?

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, he had the rubber spikes, which probably saved the ankle, saved his life, maybe saved his achievement tendon. No, his life.
He could have bled out from that.

Speaker 1 They would have had to amputate.

Speaker 4 By the way, that makes a lot of sense because I kept have been thinking, like, the fact that he came back from that is insane.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and Walt Weiss didn't even challenge that, despite the fact that Corray never touched first base after he stepped on the ankle, which was in front of the base, not on the base.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 2 Leapfrogged over it, and then Freed touched the base with his glove. That should have been overturned.
The Braves had to get four outs in the first inning.

Speaker 1 I also have another great thing for the Braves. Winning on a Tuesday night is just about as good as it can get, because I would imagine it's either going to be a Thursday or a Friday parade.

Speaker 1 That's what we were saying.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you didn't.

Speaker 1 Both are incredible.

Speaker 2 You didn't want to win on Sunday night. Sunday night would have been a major bummer.

Speaker 2 You get to go out on a Tuesday, which is maybe Tuesday and Wednesday are probably the nights of the week that people go out the least amount on, right?

Speaker 1 But you got the hard days done, and now you can essentially just roll through the rest of this week, and it's like, so Thursday or Friday, the parade, it's rare that we have, you know, there's certain times where we have parades, like the Cavs parade or the Cubs parade, like different parades where you're like, I actually want to watch this parade because it's going to be sick.

Speaker 1 Like even the Bucs this year, you know, the Milwaukee Bucks, because they hadn't won in forever. Like, this is going to be a parade that I will tune into to watch the city of Atlanta pop off.

Speaker 1 Although they did win the MLS Cup. That's right.

Speaker 2 They did, yeah.

Speaker 2 That's a major deal.

Speaker 1 Who can forget? That's fucking good.

Speaker 1 They broke the real curse.

Speaker 4 Yeah, no, absolutely not.

Speaker 2 The Atlanta Timbers.

Speaker 1 Atlanta United. Did they even throw a parade for Socrates? Oh, yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's a major deal.

Speaker 1 You're an idiot. They kept looking it up.
No,

Speaker 1 they did. They did.

Speaker 2 It was a small parade. It was just a series of cars speeding.

Speaker 1 Dude, I don't know. Atlanta FC.

Speaker 2 It's a bad day to be a water cooler in the city of Atlanta tomorrow. That's going to be

Speaker 2 a party zone tomorrow morning at the office.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Victory Parade. Yep, they had one.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they did. I'm looking at it right now.
It was lit. The best moments from Atlanta United's victory parade.
Hell yeah.

Speaker 2 All right.

Speaker 2 Yeah, what's number one?

Speaker 1 Okay, hold on. Let me find it.

Speaker 2 When they hoist the cup.

Speaker 1 Number one, number one, number one. Oh, it's actually just not even...
It's not even ranked, but it's. Oh, there it looks like they had a big drum.
Oh, that's cool. Tito Villaba was drumming.

Speaker 1 And then... It was ludicrous there?

Speaker 1 Golden Spike. The Golden Spike came out.

Speaker 1 This parade looked pretty cool. It was rainy.
But yeah, okay.

Speaker 1 Despite unreasonably cold December temperatures in Georgia, thousands of fans were clearly determined to celebrate the city's first major sports championship in 23 years.

Speaker 2 Thousands. That could be up to a million.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so they actually broke the curse.

Speaker 1 Let's just give Atlanta United its just deserve here. They're the ones who popped the cherry on the Atlanta curse.

Speaker 1 All right, so let's talk some Monday night football. Oh my God, that was the most matchion play ever.
I got to clip that. Holy shit.

Speaker 2 All right, I'll get it started on Monday Night Football. Okay.

Speaker 1 All right, there was a quarterback sneaking together.

Speaker 2 A quarterback drawing to the end zone, and Akron fumbled the ball about seven yards forward as they were going into the end zone, which was now the quarterback's crying.

Speaker 2 He's joined by a teammate who's also crying.

Speaker 1 That was a tough one for the Zips.

Speaker 2 It's also a big ricochet shot that their helmets look so much like Notre Dame from afar that you just imagine that this was a Notre Dame play.

Speaker 1 I feel bad bad for Akron because they don't really get many wins. Yeah, but Monday Night Football.
Yeah, I just feel bad for myself because I had the over and that would have hit it. But that's okay.

Speaker 1 You know, we persevere together.

Speaker 2 Giants were big winners because they covered the spread. They did.
Everybody thought that the Chiefs were going to come out and do some clown shit, as Billy Football put it.

Speaker 2 And there were some times in that game. The Chiefs do this all the time.
We say they get too cute when they play.

Speaker 2 But last night, it felt like it was at a different level where I found myself screaming at the television. Just play football.

Speaker 2 just play football sometimes they try to play basketball on the football field and you should be playing football on the football field it was specifically the travis kelsey flip behind two which was very cool yes but then when you have the next play be an interception it kind of makes you look like uh clowns because you can't like they're just trying to reinvent new ways and and you said it a couple weeks ago pft they just got to get tougher and like they do just have to run the ball more i think and like stop and maybe have a tight end that can block and like get you know what i mean because they just run they run everything like you're playing madden every every time i watch the chiefs i just find myself saying at the tv wait room yeah just wait room they need to get stronger i feel like they're not a strong football team um but yeah they they do the clown shit they do all the most confusing things i think they do it to keep patrick mahomes entertained because he's so good when he's just throwing the ball but now it seems like he's become incapable of making a normal throw where even the normal throws that he has, he does the different arm angles, he does the underhand, he does the left-handed stuff.

Speaker 2 Just play football, and you guys will be fine. I promise.
I promise the Chiefs can still be a very good football team, at least offensively. Yes.

Speaker 2 If they just play football like a normal person, that's all they have to do. All they have to do on defense, they look better when it counted.
Yep. I guess you can say.

Speaker 2 They had a nice interception, had a fumble on Danny Jones, and then that last drive was maybe the most poorly executed two-minute drill that I've ever seen.

Speaker 2 It was tough at the professional level, Joe Judge.

Speaker 1 Ah, we had the Geno Smith drive a couple weeks ago.

Speaker 2 That's true, but

Speaker 2 that's a Geno Smith drive.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was a tough one. But yeah, I mean, the Giants, I think, are now perpetually in this spot where it's like they try really hard.
Yeah. And they keep it kind of close sometimes.

Speaker 1 But to be fair to Joe Judge,

Speaker 2 maybe all of his clock management miscues were because he couldn't hear in his headphones.

Speaker 2 He's saying that many times this year, sounds like the league is out to get the New York Giants by disconnecting their headphones and not letting Joe Judge dial up his dynamic offense that he surely would be calling if it weren't for the electronic issues.

Speaker 1 Also, Joe Judge, listen, I guess you can, should we change our perception of the Chiefs where it's like, you know, the saying, like, you can't beat the Chiefs with field goals and punts.

Speaker 1 There was, I think, two separate times, two back-to-back drives where they punted from like the 50-yard line on fourth and three. And it just felt like, hey, you're just punting to prolong your death.

Speaker 2 But they almost almost did beat him.

Speaker 1 They almost did beat him. So

Speaker 1 that might be the blueprint.

Speaker 1 Yeah, now I'm saying to myself, like, well, the Chiefs, I guess, are so broken and different now that you can punt and just expect to get the ball back enough that you will win the game.

Speaker 2 Did the Chiefs get so good that they made coaches take unnecessary risks, thinking that they had to to beat the Chiefs, and that's why their defense was able to capitalize on turnovers? Yeah.

Speaker 2 And now, since the offense is a little bit worse, teams are still doing that against them, just not getting punished enough for them.

Speaker 1 Right, right.

Speaker 2 So, yeah, maybe Joe Judge is onto something here. Get real conservative.
Play some Marty ball.

Speaker 1 Yeah, play a little Marty.

Speaker 1 Let's play a little, guess whose line is it anyway? Okay. The Chiefs are hosting the Packers

Speaker 1 on Sunday, Sunday afternoon. Chiefs.
Chiefs what?

Speaker 2 Chiefs minus three and a half.

Speaker 1 It's actually Chiefs minus one, so it did change. It was for a while there.

Speaker 1 Chiefs minus two and a half.

Speaker 2 Sounds like Vegas could use a little reminder, big cat, that Aaron Aaron Rodgers has lost his last seven games

Speaker 2 on the day that daylight savings time occurs. That's true.

Speaker 1 But the Chiefs are now two and six against the spread.

Speaker 2 Hanks give me this look.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we've talked about this before.

Speaker 2 Yeah, last year we set an alarm for it.

Speaker 1 And guess what? Daylight savings time actually is Saturday.

Speaker 2 For real, for real. So on that Sunday, Aaron Rodgers stinks.

Speaker 1 We have trust issues with our audience over this. I know that.

Speaker 2 Look it up. Google it.
When is daylight savings? Siri, I'll do it for everybody at home. Siri, when is daylight savings time?

Speaker 2 There, she just showed you.

Speaker 1 Fuck you.

Speaker 2 I like your Siri voice.

Speaker 1 But yeah, the Chiefs are 2-6 against the spread.

Speaker 1 Something's broken with them. I don't know.
Packers, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I don't know why the Chiefs are still...
Like, I think the Packers are significantly better than the Chiefs.

Speaker 1 But I think because it's Mahomes and it's Kelsey and Tyreek Hill. And by the way, Travis Kelsey, just put in your tickler file.

Speaker 1 He still looks kind of the same, but he also is 32, and his numbers have not looked great the last few weeks.

Speaker 1 I don't think he's over the hill, but like the Chiefs are predicated on Tyreek Hill and Travis Kelsey both being monsters.

Speaker 2 Is he no longer baby Gronk? Is he like midlife crisis Gronk now?

Speaker 1 If he went from 100% Travis Kelsey to 85% Travis Kelsey, I think it changes the dynamic of their team.

Speaker 2 I think we're in the neighborhood of 90% Travis Kelsey.

Speaker 1 I'm just saying. Put it in your tickler file.

Speaker 1 Trade deadline. Well, all right.
So first, we should at least mention the tragic news from Las Vegas with the Henry Ruggs. It seems as if he was drunk.

Speaker 1 He's being charged with DUI manslaughter, I believe. Killed a person.

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 1 I know we don't preach on this podcast. Don't drink a drive.
It's the dumbest thing you can possibly do. Just don't drink.
It's so easy to get a Uber. It's so easy to find someone to pick you up.

Speaker 1 Even if you have one beer, don't get behind the wheel of a car. It's so, so easy.
And it's such a tragic story. I'm not saying tragic football sense.

Speaker 1 I'm saying a person lost their life because someone decided to get drunk and he happened to play football. So we should at least mention that.
Crazy, like kind of a shocking thing

Speaker 1 to see unfold like as the news trickled in.

Speaker 2 Yeah, like if you if you talk about drinking and driving, there's a lot of bad stuff that can happen. This probably being the worst thing that can happen to you.

Speaker 2 Even the stuff that's not as bad is still really, really bad.

Speaker 2 There's nothing good that can happen. Like Big Gat said, it's pretty easy to get a ride home if you need to.
It's very, very easy. To get a ride home

Speaker 1 50 years ago, there's Uber and Lyft in every major city and every small city.

Speaker 1 But the trade deadline, I don't, there was, there was no big trades, right?

Speaker 2 Nothing really happened.

Speaker 2 Here's how you can sum up the state of my life as a Washington football team fan by just looking back at how I spent the day today, which was hoping that the Washington football team would trade for Mitch Trubisky.

Speaker 2 I was genuinely excited about that, which was crazy. Apparently, it did almost happen,

Speaker 2 which would have been dumb for both teams. Who told you that? It's been reported that the teams were very close, and they decided to walk away because it's compensation.
But it was real.

Speaker 2 Here's why it would have been dumb, though. The Bills, you need Mitch Trubisky in case something happens to Josh Allen and he misses a game or two.
He's a very, very good backup.

Speaker 2 And then the football team, we don't need to win any more games. At this point,

Speaker 2 he would win us too many games, and then we would not be able to draft another quarterback.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 it's pretty depressing to think about where I am as a fan. Yeah, I was I was over the moon thinking about that possibility.
Billy. Von Miller got traded.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, Von Miller got traded.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 name, big name.

Speaker 1 He has not been the same guy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but big name is

Speaker 1 the story of

Speaker 1 why there was discontent.

Speaker 2 It was Venmo requesting.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so he had a Halloween party that was six figs. He was hosting a Halloween party and he wanted everyone to throw in.
And then I think the team wanted to not do it because they were losing.

Speaker 1 And he wanted to keep the Halloween party. He put a lot of money into it.
And I guess that caused a rift in the locker room. This is a real story.

Speaker 1 No shit. No fant actually commented on it publicly.

Speaker 2 You remember a couple years ago was after Von Miller's Halloween party that Swag Kelly ran in some trouble when he was trying to go home and he entered a house that looked a lot like his. We know

Speaker 2 there were several people who have made that mistake. Key card worked.

Speaker 2 And then he got the shit kicked out of him by a vacuum cleaner.

Speaker 1 Yes. But yeah, isn't that a good thing? Sounds like a sick party.
Von Miller, yeah, it does. I don't know why.
Pony up. Losing streak, who cares? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Go to the party. But the real reason why I think Von Miller is going to do well in L.A.

Speaker 2 Not only because of the Aaron Donald factor where he's getting double and triple teamed all the time, Von Miller would be going one-on-one a lot, but Von Miller gets to play his home games on artificial turf now.

Speaker 2 Yes. And he's allergic to grass.
That's true. So we were seeing Von Miller as like 40% of maybe what he could do at home because he was breaking out in hives.

Speaker 2 He was was like Jake when he's getting smothered by Whitey, just an itchy mess. Now we're going to get.
Hair's still on the couch.

Speaker 1 Hair's still on the couch, and you're still sneezing.

Speaker 1 Von Miller will be good probably for the Rams, but it is like he's not the same Von Miller.

Speaker 2 No, he's not the same, but he's still good.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like he'll do enough.

Speaker 1 Like, it would be crazy if the Rams signed him to a long-term deal after this. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But I think for one year, for nine games or whatever it is, the Rams continue to just say draft picks don't matter, which I love.

Speaker 2 they how many years in a row have the Rams gone all it they don't have any more draft picks ever I'm convinced that Sean McVay is just telling people he has draft picks yeah like yeah I'll give you two-thirds next year or whatever and they're like sure and then he's hoping that they don't actually look up what draft picks they had Scott Hanson our guy from the he's the best red zone host in the world he told me this the other day Apparently, back in like the 70s, the Redskins traded a draft pick to two different teams, an upcoming draft pick, and they didn't get caught on it immediately.

Speaker 2 That seems to me like Sean McVay McVay is just like saying whatever number he hopes the other team will be happy with, or less Sneed, I guess, is

Speaker 2 saying it, and then just hoping they don't check because I don't think the Rams pick in the draft next year.

Speaker 1 They have four picks next year, and they have four picks in 2023. They don't have their first-round pick either year.
Next year, they don't have a first-round or second-round pick.

Speaker 2 It's actually smart because if you're doing that, you're just using the rest of the league as your farm system. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, draft, draft pick, the draft is a crapshoot. So why not, you know, see if it works out.
Where did Melvin Ingram get traded to again?

Speaker 2 He got traded from the Steelers to the Chiefs.

Speaker 1 Yep. Chiefs.
So maybe he'll help the Chiefs.

Speaker 2 My problem with Melvin Ingram is: I just always want to say Melvin Gordon. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And Mark Ingram. And Mark Ingram, yeah.
And Mark Ingram is on the Saints, but that happened last week. Yeah.

Speaker 2 He is the most confusing guy to be wearing a new number in New Orleans. I think he's a 14.

Speaker 1 Yeah, 14.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that looks weird on a runner-back.

Speaker 1 I do wish the Bears had traded Allen Robinson. They did not.

Speaker 1 I mean, I guess trades are hard to do in the NFL. It feels like they're harder to do than other leagues because they don't happen very often.

Speaker 1 But that felt like a good situation to maybe get some draft capital back for a team that's not going to the playoffs and the Bears.

Speaker 1 Also, we had Odell Beckham put on the full court press to try to get traded.

Speaker 1 I would imagine that was an irredeemable situation to begin with.

Speaker 1 But when you have LeBron James tweeting on your behalf, your dad creating an Odell Beckham's open all-the-time highlight tape, and everyone like talking about it all day, and then you don't get traded, I gotta imagine that's pretty awkward.

Speaker 2 Yeah, anyone who's watched any of the Browns games could probably tell you that Odell Beckham stinks right now. Yeah, I think he's still got something good inside him somewhere, right?

Speaker 1 Because he's still Odell Beckham.

Speaker 2 Well, but it seems like he can't even catch the ball now.

Speaker 1 Maybe it's good that he's not getting traded because then he can still blame, his dad can blame Baker Mayfield, right?

Speaker 1 Like if he got traded to a really good team or a situation that was like one of the teams that are upper echelon teams right now, and he wasn't good or screwed up the locker room,

Speaker 1 that's a pretty good case, like scientific experiment, the controlled experiment of Odell Beckham, that he screwed it up. Whereas the Browns, you can always just be like, well, it's the Browns.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you can tell. I don't mean that I love the Browns, but like that's, you can say it's the Browns.

Speaker 2 You can tell if you're like an elite receiver, supposedly, and the Chiefs don't try to trade for you at this point, that they probably see something on film that everybody else should be seeing.

Speaker 2 But I do love the fact that his dad is creating highlight tapes.

Speaker 1 It was getting into the future. I watched the whole thing.

Speaker 2 Do you think he's got the NFL, like the game pass where he's sitting down, making them himself? You're like, wow, Odell is really wide open.

Speaker 1 It was very well done. Yeah.
It was very well done. Anything else from the trade deadline?

Speaker 1 Floria was wrong. Oh, Michael.
Florio was wrong. No, no, no.

Speaker 2 94.9%.

Speaker 2 No, no. Don't you know anything about Nate Silver, Jake? You can can say whatever percentage, and if you're wrong, you can be like, well, yep, that's 5.1%.

Speaker 1 That's 5.1% that was part of the fiscal milestone.

Speaker 2 If anything, Mike Florio was right.

Speaker 1 It's actually our bias to believe that the 5% couldn't happen. Yep.
That's our fault. Exactly.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Where this is 2016 all over again.

Speaker 1 Yeah, seriously.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 let's talk college football playoff. Yeah.
Should we do it? I don't want to say I told you so, but I told you so.

Speaker 1 The college football playoff rankings have been released. They go as follow.
Let me pull them up.

Speaker 1 They go Georgia number one, Alabama, number two, Michigan State three, Oregon four, Ohio State five, Cincinnati six.

Speaker 1 The college football committee has essentially eliminated Cincinnati before they even

Speaker 1 get to the stretch run.

Speaker 1 Because not only were they ranked sixth, but they also didn't rank Houston or SMU, which

Speaker 1 Cincinnati plays SMU. They're seven and one.
And then if Houston continues to win, they would play Houston in the AAC final championship game. They are also 7-1.

Speaker 1 Neither of those teams were ranked in the top 25, making it, as it stands right now, zero good games that Cincinnati can win the rest of the way. So they basically have made it impossible.

Speaker 1 They need, like we said to Kirk Herbstreet, to start the season.

Speaker 1 Kirk, we're going to need the Seafood Tower tower to start maybe some French onion soup that's before we even get to our steaks I typically order mine medium rare minus yeah and I like mashed potatoes and the second cheapest bottle of wine oh we'll get we're gonna get all the sides but essentially the only way Cincinnati can get into the the the college football playoff at this point is there needs to be multiple losses from some of these already one loss teams now if you look at how they ranked him and by the way these are just completely imaginary made-up rankings that they put out today because, first of all, they're hilarious.

Speaker 2 They're very funny, objectively rankings. There's so much stuff for people to get mad about, complain about.
They're trying to get eyeballs on it right off the bat.

Speaker 2 They can just decide to change them next week. They can do whatever they want because it's their job to put these teams in an arbitrary order.

Speaker 2 But what they did here to make Alabama number two, they made Texas AM pretty high ranked, and they made Mississippi State way too high ranked so that it would justify Alabama being higher to say, look, they have these two great quality wins against these other teams, which are also ranked in the imaginary list of numbers.

Speaker 1 So, the reason why I actually think it's not arbitrary in my mind, I think the college football playoff is very clear with what they're doing. Like, they've always been consistent.

Speaker 1 That's the part that, like, I know Cincinnati fans are upset. I know they have a real gripe.
Freddie Freeman just hit a solo home run. Now the Braves cannot lose.

Speaker 2 Done. 7-0.

Speaker 1 They have been very consistent with what they do every single year. Power five conferences, big wins matter more than losses, and that's how they rank them.

Speaker 1 Mississippi State has three losses, but Mississippi State also has three ranked wins.

Speaker 1 They beat Kentucky, they beat Texas AM, and it's escaping me who else they beat, but they beat another team as well. I can't remember off the top of my head, someone helped me line, line.

Speaker 2 I don't have their scheduled contracts on it.

Speaker 1 NC State. That's right.
So that's why they ranked Mississippi State where they ranked them because they have three top 25 wins.

Speaker 1 Like Alabama, if you want to get mad about it, I understand, but they're at least consistent where Alabama has two top 25 wins where they completely blew out the competition in Mississippi State and Ole Miss.

Speaker 1 They won on the road at Florida.

Speaker 1 As crazy as it may make people, and I completely understand their gripe, and I think they have a fair gripe because it is the power five invitational.

Speaker 1 There's just no way that anyone can crash the party. At least they're consistent year to year.
And

Speaker 1 I saw this coming from a mile away. And when I see it, I'm like, all right, it all makes sense.
I get it.

Speaker 1 Even the Oregon ranking, like, I actually am happy that they acknowledge that Oregon beat Ohio State because by the end of the season, that will be thrown to the wayside.

Speaker 1 Because how they did it was Oregon's four. Ohio State's five.
Ohio State has to play Michigan State. They have to play Michigan.
They have to play Big Ten championship game.

Speaker 1 The only thing Oregon has left is basically Utah at Utah. And then maybe again in the Pac-12 championship game, who's not ranked.
So they're saying

Speaker 1 when Ohio State wins, yeah, they're going to basically say, no, no, no, no, the game mattered, but then Ohio State did enough at the end. Right, to throw them both.

Speaker 2 Recognizing the fact that they should be there right now. I don't disagree that Alabama should be highly ranked.
I do think that they overranked those other two teams to make Alabama look better.

Speaker 2 I think that

Speaker 2 I think Alabama should be ranked four,

Speaker 2 but they didn't do that. And here's why.
Because they want to see in the SEC championship game Alabama, Georgia. If Alabama wins, Alabama and Georgia get to advance.

Speaker 2 Now, here's where it gets really interesting, and this is low-key what I'm hoping for, just for the chaos and the ridiculousness factor of it.

Speaker 2 Alabama loses to Georgia, high-scoring game, could have gone either way. Alabama has two losses.

Speaker 1 I don't think they're going to be able to get it.

Speaker 2 And they get, they might, they might big cat. They might.

Speaker 2 If they do, I'm tacking on a night at medieval times for Kirk Herb Street if Alabama gets into the college football what's above and undefeated Cincinnati?

Speaker 1 Do you know what's probably more likely?

Speaker 1 Alabama, Georgia play. Alabama beats Georgia.
They both go in. Michigan State loses close to Ohio State.
Ohio State goes and wins the Big Ten championship game.

Speaker 1 It becomes the SEC versus the Big Ten Invitational. And that could happen.
Michigan State and Ohio State both get in. That also is set up.

Speaker 1 Like the way they have ranked it, with Michigan being seven and Michigan State being three,

Speaker 1 I think that there's definitely a possibility that you get two Big Ten teams in as well.

Speaker 1 It's, I, again, I think that, like, if you, if you, if you were shocked by these rankings, I don't know if you've been paying attention because this is, again, they, they rank based on who you've like big time wins and losses don't matter as much.

Speaker 1 Well, they just don't.

Speaker 2 They also rank based on who drops off the bigger sack of cash for us. Yeah.
And in that case, I understand it.

Speaker 2 If that's what they're doing, I appreciate the transparency of them saying to Cincinnati, well, good luck being poor.

Speaker 2 Enjoy your poverty franchise because you're not bringing in the dollars like Alabama is.

Speaker 1 And Oklahoma

Speaker 1 has some work to do. I actually thought that they ranked them Oklahoma correctly.

Speaker 2 I was surprised by it, but I don't disagree with it.

Speaker 1 Well, they have Oklahoma's only good win this season is Kansas State and Kansas State's 5-3.

Speaker 2 I would say Texas too.

Speaker 1 Texas is in 4-4 and 3.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but by an eyeball test, Texas is not as bad as their record.

Speaker 1 But they've fallen off.

Speaker 2 They've fallen off.

Speaker 1 So I think

Speaker 1 you can't play that.

Speaker 1 Texas is going to struggle to.

Speaker 2 Oh, you can play whatever.

Speaker 1 That's the beauty of the college football rankings is they're entirely subjective right right but i'm saying like texas is not that you can't qualify texas under the under the rules they play by and they play by basically the same rules every year it's like if you beat a good team it doesn't matter if you lose a close conference game if you lose ugly that matters like when ohio state lost to purdue by a billion but they don't see texas as a good team so they've thrown them to the side and that's why oklahoma ends up at eight undefeated i think some of their wins are actually hurting oklahoma the the kansas win hurt oklahoma yeah tulane win oh yeah hurt Oklahoma.

Speaker 1 Oh yeah, definitely. No, Oklahoma hasn't been impressive.
I think Oklahoma fans would even admit it.

Speaker 1 Like they have the good thing with Oklahoma is they still have their whole schedule in front of them. They have to play Oklahoma State.
They have to play Baylor.

Speaker 1 They have to play the Big 12 championship game. So they will also have a chance to start leapfrogging.

Speaker 1 The last interesting thing I'll point out is Wake Forest has no chance. And that would be hilarious in that.

Speaker 1 They will be the first time a Power 5 conference could potentially go undefeated and not make the college football playoffs.

Speaker 2 Yes, that would be objectively funny.

Speaker 1 The ACC is so down,

Speaker 1 they don't have wins against ranked teams.

Speaker 2 I don't think that the ACC should be a Power Five conference in football.

Speaker 1 I really don't. If Clemson's bad, it hurts.

Speaker 2 I really don't.

Speaker 1 It hurts. Any other college football ranking thoughts?

Speaker 1 Again, I feel bad for Cincinnati fans, but I also am like, what did you expect? Because we've seen it. We saw it 2000, what was it? 2017, UCF finished sixth.

Speaker 1 They were like, the highest they got ranked before the Bull season was 12th.

Speaker 2 I'll put on the cape for the little guys.

Speaker 2 I think it's bullshit that Cincinnati isn't at least,

Speaker 2 they should be number five. Make Cincinnati.

Speaker 1 They should have thrown him a bone and made him four and then let him drop. I'm just saying, like,

Speaker 1 2010,

Speaker 1 TCU went undefeated. They didn't finish, you know, they finished second, and there was a one-look.

Speaker 1 2009,

Speaker 1 was it TCU again? No, sorry, Boise State finished undefeated. They finished fourth in the polls.
2006, Boise State finished undefeated, and they finished behind

Speaker 1 two lost teams. It's been written.
It's been said. It's been done.
They just, they will never acknowledge teams that are not in the power of five.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I mean, the Cincinnati, Georgia game last year,

Speaker 2 that should be enough to prove to people that Cincinnati is actually a good football team.

Speaker 1 But then you can play the old SEC card if they weren't trying. No, we're not playing that card.
No, but we're not playing that card.

Speaker 1 That's what people will do.

Speaker 2 It seemed seemed to me like Georgia was trying last year. Yeah.
At least in the second half. Well, they won.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So

Speaker 2 they were trying. I'm saying they were trying.
Cincinnati played them really, really well.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 2 I think that Cincinnati, it's a disgrace to the state of Ohio that your best football team is not going to get into the college football playoff this year.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, I think they should have been ranked higher. I feel bad for them, but I also, again, I'm not surprised by any of this because this is just how they do it.
We need to get to 12 teams.

Speaker 1 We need to get 12 teams so that it's not a, at the start of the season, a college football playoff that only half of the teams, less than half of the teams are eligible for.

Speaker 1 Because that's really what it comes down to. I mean, they should.
UTSA didn't even get a top 25. They're undefeated.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so the rest of the conferences should just break away and say, okay, we're going to do our own. Make it Division I AA Plus.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there you go. Perfect.

Speaker 1 All right, should we get to hot seat cool thrown? Again, shout out to Braves. Up 7-0.

Speaker 2 Would you rather be up 7-0 in the seventh inning of of a World Series game or up 28-3 in the third quarter of a World Series?

Speaker 1 28 in a World Series. What I said.
You said 283 in a World Series. I'd rather be up 28-3 in a World Series.

Speaker 2 28-3 in a World Series. That'd be scorigami.

Speaker 1 That would be something.

Speaker 1 Good question.

Speaker 1 Here's a real question. If the Braves did somehow lose this game and then lose the series, will we ever be able to go to the city of Atlanta again?

Speaker 2 I don't know. It would be like us and General Sherman.

Speaker 1 I'll miss Northside Tavern.

Speaker 2 Do not serve this man.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'll be there.

Speaker 2 Northside Tavern no longer sigs inside, I'm told.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. But I still would like to go back there.

Speaker 1 All right.

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Speaker 4 uh first i'd just like to shout out everyone that's been reaching out after my back situation on sunday a lot of people reaching out a lot of people have gone through similar things giving me exercises giving me things to do i appreciate that big cat uh we posted the video of the exercises he talked about on sunday So, road to recovery starts today.

Speaker 4 Hell yes.

Speaker 6 Fuck.

Speaker 2 You look like you're moving around okay, though.

Speaker 4 Yeah, no, it's gotten like significantly better from Sunday to today. Sunday, I thought I wasn't going to be able to walk again today.

Speaker 4 I'm like, all right, I think with some rehab and some exercises, build my core. That's what I've gathered.
I just need to get core strength.

Speaker 4 Yeah, good core strength.

Speaker 4 My hot seat, though, is the Celtics, Boston Celtics, absolute kind of dumpster fire early on in the season. They lost to the Zards

Speaker 4 two games in the last week. Both games they should have won.

Speaker 1 What happened in the Bulls game?

Speaker 4 Bulls game, they were absolutely destroying them. And then they, I think, the fourth quarter was like, what is it, 28 to 11?

Speaker 1 It was the first time, I think, in NBA history that a team was up 14 in the fourth quarter and lost by 14.

Speaker 4 Yeah, so they were dominating the third quarter. They had maybe the worst fourth quarter performance I've ever seen.

Speaker 4 They were dominating the whole game, and they got blown out somehow. It was that bad of performance.
Marcus Smart afterwards was saying, like, Jalen and Jason Tatum don't pass the ball enough.

Speaker 1 Oh, no.

Speaker 1 Trouble in Paradise.

Speaker 4 Their new coach after the Wizards game. Jalen Brown got COVID, and then after the Wizards game that they lost, they blew that game.

Speaker 4 The coach was like, I've never seen someone who's all over the place like Jalen Brown when he's like, you know, some games he's fine, some games he's going through like COVID. Like, he just had COVID.

Speaker 4 So just kind of a disaster in Boston.

Speaker 1 Damn.

Speaker 2 It's a long season.

Speaker 1 What's the fix? Blow it up?

Speaker 4 I don't know. I think they need like, I don't know.
I think they could use a trade. I think they have.

Speaker 1 Oh, no. I don't know.
It's one of those things.

Speaker 4 Eme, this new coach is supposed to be a player's coach, Jay Williams.

Speaker 1 First black head coach in Celtics history. Yeah, I think that's what people are saying, right? That's what Jason is.
That's what Jason said. Jason Williams.

Speaker 2 No, the hackers said that. Right.

Speaker 1 Jay Williams told us that.

Speaker 4 They said they want to, you know, a player's coach, someone that's in their face, and like, it might be one of those things where they're just airing it all out, and that's a good thing,

Speaker 1 or it's a disaster.

Speaker 4 I lean towards it being a disaster.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 4 It could be one of those things where it's like, we're all so close as a team, we can say this about each other, and we love our coach, so he can say this about us.

Speaker 1 Or they're going to be like,

Speaker 2 the other option is like they just really, really hate each other.

Speaker 2 And then, on the other hand, maybe they hate each other so much that it's actually good that that conflict will get you to a place where you can build a bridge. I don't really buy that part of it.
No.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no.

Speaker 4 I'm down for a trade. I don't know.

Speaker 1 Blow it up.

Speaker 1 Not blow it up, but like, you know. A tweak.
Tweak, yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah, no.

Speaker 2 hard tweak. I lean towards sometimes good teams that can't be great, those are the hardest ones to blow up.
But you got to blow them up.

Speaker 1 You got to blow it up. We'll see.
All right. Your cool turn?

Speaker 4 My cool turn is Jake Marsh. Well, this is before the beginning of the show.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that was bad.

Speaker 1 I did not do any form of a chop.

Speaker 1 I do think it's a chop.

Speaker 4 I did see the hand come up, but I didn't know.

Speaker 1 It was for no.

Speaker 2 It was the motion no.

Speaker 1 I was doing no chop. Got it.

Speaker 2 No chop. Yeah, no chop.

Speaker 1 They were saying boo earns.

Speaker 2 Yeah, no cap, no chop.

Speaker 1 No, no.

Speaker 1 There's a chop.

Speaker 1 Commercial. This is a commercial of actually

Speaker 1 slap chop, the neutra blade.

Speaker 4 But we got some, his name, I got to pull up his name so I get his name right. Waylon Napadogan on Instagram.
He's a musician. He's got a good amount of a couple thousand followers on Instagram.

Speaker 4 He made a Jake on me remix. Oh, hell yeah.

Speaker 2 Dedicated to Jake.

Speaker 4 We'll put it at the end of the show as a take on me remix. But cool throwing Jake, he's the only one out of us to ever have a take on me remix.

Speaker 1 there you go that makes it for the cereal box situation huh yeah it's great thank you to it's whatever his name

Speaker 2 i listen to it it's awesome whalen that's that's such a sweet name if you're a musician that's he's got a great look pft you would you would you would dig nashville i don't know probably yeah seems like a nashville guy maybe studio music actually no he's can't he's canadian oh oh even better hey okay hello there whalen all right uh pft your hot sequel toward uh my hot seat is the ball the ball is on the hot seat the nba basketball is on the hot seat so we reported this a while back a while back like two months ago set a reminder for people take the unders and nba uh basketball games at the start of the season didn't work it didn't it worked on the first game oh it did work for the bucks yeah big time

Speaker 2 should have gone over by a million yeah yeah that was a i sweat that one out it was miserable by the way betting nba unders it's terrible because they're such good shooters you can and they go up and down the court so quickly and the fucking reset when they get an offensive rebound that makes the shot clock go even faster you could have just stopped the sentence that it's miserable betting the NBA.

Speaker 1 Because every game is like, it's like Mario Kart.

Speaker 1 If you're down, you get a lightning and then you come back.

Speaker 2 It's very, very tough.

Speaker 2 And I have no data to back up whether or not the Unders are back in play, but we're starting to see several NBA players publicly complaining about the new ball that got switched from the Spalding to Wilson.

Speaker 2 Paul George, I think this was yesterday, he said it doesn't have the same touch and softness that the Spalding ball had. You'll see this year a lot of bad misses.

Speaker 2 You've seen a lot of airballs. So I think Paul George is saying, like, be on the lookout in case there's a playoff game where a certain player doesn't shoot very well.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Just know that the ball is a little bit different. I looked up his stats.

Speaker 2 Paul George is actually shooting 49% from the field, which is a vast improvement over his career average from the field, which is 43%. So he's really enjoying this ball.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 in the sources I talked to, the story out of some blind sources in the

Speaker 1 NBA said the ball is completely the same,

Speaker 1 but the story I heard before was the ball is completely the same, but it will be no doubt that there will be players that will complain about it when they have a slow start. I also think

Speaker 1 the scoring has a lot to do with the James Harden rules, that they're not calling the same, they're actually calling the game the way it probably should be called and not if you jump into someone, it's a foul no matter what.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so

Speaker 2 I was looking up the stats because I thought maybe Paul George is making an excuse. Right.
He's getting out of head.

Speaker 1 Maybe somebody's Yeah, he's smart. He's pre-playoff preing himself.
Like, if Russell Westbrook says it's like, no, dude, you just, did you see that shoddy head off the backboard? That was awesome.

Speaker 2 You just stink.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Russell Westbrook.

Speaker 1 But, shout out Skip. I think that's his.

Speaker 1 But it's, yeah, it's smart to get out ahead of it. Paul George, genius.

Speaker 2 Just know that in the playoffs this year, if he has a bad day, he's not sick. It's the ball.
It's the ball.

Speaker 1 That he played with for 82 kilos.

Speaker 2 He's still adjusting to the ball.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes.

Speaker 2 My cool throne is truth. Truth is on the cool throne because the truth will set you free.
The truth always comes out.

Speaker 2 And last night there was a situation that developed online about Texas' special teams coordinator, Jeff Banks,

Speaker 2 who allegedly ran away from his wife and kids a few years ago, married an exotic dancer named Pole Assassin.

Speaker 2 Great name. Yes.
Surprised that one wasn't taken already.

Speaker 2 Pole Assassin owns a monkey named Gia who takes part in some of her routines on the pole. Yes, Billy, emotional support animal.

Speaker 1 Excuse me.

Speaker 2 Yes, good point, Billy. An emotional support animal who supports her when she's dancing for money at gentlemen's clubs.
Yep. She was on the Jerry Springer show.
She's very talented.

Speaker 2 And they own a house together in Steiner Ranch, right outside of Austin, Texas. They had a little Halloween party, a haunted house party at their house.

Speaker 2 And one of the guests was a young child who allegedly got bit by this monkey. Correct.

Speaker 2 Now, the news came out, and everybody was very quick to jump on Pole Assassin and say, hey, you need to take control of your monkey.

Speaker 2 Well, if they had done a little bit of research on their own, they would have found out that Pole Assassin clearly put up balloons on the gate to indicate that children should not go back there.

Speaker 2 Right. The child was on the wrong side of the property that she or he did not have permission to be on, and that's where the monkey attack occurred.
Alleged monkey attack.

Speaker 2 I would say now I've heard a lot of conjecture, a lot of hearsay in the last 12 hours. Some people saying that maybe this monkey isn't even her original monkey.
It might have been a new monkey.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, they got a train.

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 2 I don't know if if that's true or not, but all I can go off of is the fact that Pole Assassin put out a video last night showing her property and showing how far the child had to walk back there.

Speaker 2 And there was a sign on the monkey enclosure saying, emotional support animal, do not go in, do not pet.

Speaker 2 People are saying that it looked like that sign had been put up in the last two minutes before she took that video because there had been rain in Austin, Texas for the last two nights.

Speaker 2 I don't buy that. I think the burden of proof is on you to prove to me that it's a brand new sign.
I stand with Pole Assassin. I stand with Gia the Monkey.

Speaker 2 I stand with the University of Texas on this one. And if this story seems like it was just created doing one of those mad libs from like an Oklahoma state message board, it probably is.

Speaker 2 They've probably written fanfic about this before. But this is maybe my favorite college football story of the year so far.

Speaker 1 The takeaway from this, and I've said it many, many times, it needs to be repeated again. Never trust anyone who owns a monkey or a snake as a pet.
They're not trustworthy. Or a frog.
Or a frog.

Speaker 1 They're not trustworthy.

Speaker 1 Those animals,

Speaker 1 a monkey is just,

Speaker 1 it's basically you buy a monkey, it sits in your house, and it's just you set the timer for when it decides it wants to rip your face off. That's all it is.
It's like,

Speaker 1 it's just one day it will decide I'm going to rip your face off or your neighbor's face off, and then the monkey charade will be over. Snake, very similar.

Speaker 1 One day it will get loose, it will hide, it will do something. It will try to eat you in the middle of the night.
Never trust those people. What's so wrong with having a dog?

Speaker 2 Also, the case law is clear on this situation. The monkey was standing its ground.
That was its

Speaker 2 domicile. Yep.
I don't know. Do we have a monkey law expert, Billy?

Speaker 2 There were three monkeys in the cage. Three monkeys.
So we don't even know which monkey. We don't know if Gia was the biter, but we do know Gia's vaccination status.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yes.

Speaker 2 Received all of its shots to prevent

Speaker 2 primate.

Speaker 2 Which really doesn't help us we don't know if Gio is the one who bought it transmission so it's a lib monkey yeah highly vaccinated Floria would love that extremely vaccinated yeah monkey all the shots all the shots okay so it was hopefully the child is safe from what I understand in my reading that I've done on the topic it was just it was a minor bite that listen pole assassin didn't even know that a child got bitten by her monkey at her party until one of her neighbors came over and was like hey I just had to treat a child for a monkey bite.

Speaker 2 Yes. So, I mean,

Speaker 2 it sounds like a witch hunt. It sounds like something that Texas A ⁇ M fired up because they're jealous.
They hate us because they ain't us.

Speaker 2 They're resorted to making stories up about a special teams coach's stripper wife and her emotional support monkey biting people on Halloween at a haunted house.

Speaker 2 I'm just not buying it right now.

Speaker 2 I stand with Pol Assassin. I stand with Gio.

Speaker 1 Agreed. All right, my hot seat is John Paxon

Speaker 1 because Scotty Pippin's, the excerpt from his new book is out,

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 he didn't have to put this in, but he put it in. I'll read it to you.
They had a falling out, and John Paxson called Scotty to try to mend the fences recently.

Speaker 1 And Scotty Pippen said, John, I said that is all fine and dandy, but you worked in the front office for the Bulls for almost 20 years. You had a chance to change that, and you didn't.

Speaker 1 He began to cry, not knowing how to respond. I waited for him to stop.
Why he was crying, I couldn't be sure. And honestly, I didn't care.

Speaker 1 That's tough.

Speaker 1 I don't feel bad for John Paxson, but to wake up and be like, oh, new Scotty Pippen excerpt dropped. And the main takeaway is that I cried on the phone to him.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 For, like, just threw that in there, ruthless.

Speaker 2 And I'll help you out, Scotty. The reason why I cried is because he feels very guilty.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And Scotty Pippen does have a legitimate gripe, I think, with the way that he was treated. When he came back to the team, they used him like a prop.
Correct.

Speaker 2 And they found out that he would actually like to do work for the team. Yes.
They're like, okay, go to this Duke game and then send in a report that they never read.

Speaker 1 And then

Speaker 2 they never asked him to do any more field work on his own.

Speaker 2 So I get it with Scotty Pippin, but my main takeaway from everything that I've heard from Scotty so far recently, he's just a very unhappy human being.

Speaker 1 No, it's it's just

Speaker 1 it's like borderline tragic in the fact that Scotty Pippen, I love him and he's an all-time NBA player, but it does feel like he is looking for something that he'll never find and it won't happen by like burning bridges in a book.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he was talking about how the documentary, he was disappointed in the last dance because it opened up with three shots of Michael Jordan doing incredible things.

Speaker 2 It's like, well, yes, that's because he's Michael Jordan.

Speaker 1 Like, how about Scottie Pippen? You were part of the greatest team run of all time and one of the greatest

Speaker 1 dynasties of all time. And it's okay that you're listed second behind Michael Jordan.

Speaker 2 Right. It's Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen, and Phil Jackson.
Phil Jackson. And everybody that they've talked to about that era of the Bulls, nobody's really happy.

Speaker 2 Nobody's great friends with each other except for Charles Oakley.

Speaker 2 Besides that, they all kind of have like, they acknowledge that they kind of hated each other while they played with each other, but that's what made them. Spin zone, Hank.

Speaker 2 Maybe that's what the Celtics are on the verge of right now. They all hate each other so much.
They're just, they're on the precipice of a six-peat.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
All right. There it is.
Sure.

Speaker 1 And then my cool throne is Kyrie Irving because I'm pretty sure he's not getting vaccinated for an entire like prolonged ad for the new matrix thing that's coming out in december because he posted a picture of morpheus today on his instagram with no caption was that that might be a red pill yeah that's what i'm saying like i think he's not getting vaccinated as part of a viral marketing scheme for the new matrix i i actually could see kyrie irving seeing the new matrix movie and either one going completely off the grid yeah or two it flipping his entire mindset entirely and now he just lives for basketball.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he's going to deeply affect him one way or the other.

Speaker 1 He strikes me as a guy who walks around being like, Have you seen V for Vendetta? That movie changed my life. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But yeah, I just. Great movie.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 He's going to get heavy into the NFT space.

Speaker 1 There's definitely something. I mean, posting Morpheus, I think there's a new, what is it, Matrix Show coming out in December, I want to say.
There's something Matrix.

Speaker 4 Never seen them.

Speaker 2 You've never seen The Matrix? No. Really? Hank, you got to watch

Speaker 2 the show.

Speaker 2 John Juice Show. Which pill would I? Which is the one that tells me that everything's fine and is a complete illusion? Blue pill.
Yeah, that one. Yeah, just delude me.

Speaker 1 Wait, is there a Matrix thing coming out?

Speaker 2 There's Matrix 4, December 22nd.

Speaker 1 There it is. So, yeah, so he's just doing, he's doing more.
He probably's getting paid more money to do marketing than he is by the Nets.

Speaker 1 And he's like, okay, yeah, I won't get vaccinated for a few months. Why not? Wouldn't that be hilarious if after it came out?

Speaker 4 He'd be like $50 million.

Speaker 1 If he got vaccinated the next day, it was like, yeah, my ad deals up.

Speaker 4 Oh, and did you see Ben Simmons not taking mental health from the Sixers? What do you mean? He's like, not. The Sixers are trying to get him help, and he's

Speaker 4 not taking their help.

Speaker 2 That's great. You know what the best help would be? That's what Ben Simmons should say.
It's just like, trade me. That would be the best mental health of all time.
Yes. Put it on them.

Speaker 2 Be like, do you hate mental health? And why do you make me work for you and pay me all this money? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Billy.

Speaker 2 My hot seat is Carson Wentz. Brett Hudley was recently released from the Cults, and

Speaker 2 Sam Ellinger was promoted to QB2.

Speaker 2 So we have a Carson Wentz playing Thursday night against a very dangerous Jets team. Who knows if Carson Wentz gets benched, Sam Ellinger comes in.
As a Jets fan, I would be very concerned.

Speaker 2 This could be a Tom Brady 2 situation. The Jets, again, one of their linebackers knocks Carson Wentz out of the game.
A journeyman quarterback with all the expectations on him, first-round pick.

Speaker 2 Guess who comes in? A six-round pick, Sam Ellinger, right? That reminds me of something. Yep.

Speaker 1 Agreed.

Speaker 2 Where it is, is the Colts brass really like Sam Elner. The brass.

Speaker 1 The brass. The story out of Indianapolis.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Exactly. Who is the brass?

Speaker 1 Jim Ursay in his guitar.

Speaker 2 No, he's a guitar. Yeah, he's a string section.

Speaker 1 It's his guitars, actually. Just talking to himself.

Speaker 2 That's more of orchestral. I feel like, who's there, GM now, Grigson?

Speaker 1 No, Grigson is a good person.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, Grigson hasn't been there for like four Doyle.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 2 Why am I spacing on this guy's name?

Speaker 1 Chris Ballard. That's right, Ballard.
Yeah, Doyle, Executive of the Year.

Speaker 2 Yeah, Chris Ballard is the brass. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're cool throne.

Speaker 2 My cool throne is Zach Wilson.

Speaker 2 Turns out during the game, he texted Mike White after every great play and said how awesome it was and tweeted a video of Mike White talking about Zach Wilson being a great teammate.

Speaker 2 So Cool Throne Zach Wilson.

Speaker 2 And his future because the Jets just signed his quarterback coach onto their staff. So they're investing in his future.
That's a little bit extra, isn't it?

Speaker 2 Like, you don't have to text him after every good play. Yeah, there were so many.
But Cool Throne.

Speaker 1 Yeah. The future.
He led the league in passing, week eight. How about that? Exactly.
And passing yards.

Speaker 2 Billy, real quick, though, give us your prediction on Thursday night football for the Jets. I actually think it's going to be a great show.

Speaker 1 Fuck Sight. Fuck show?

Speaker 1 Fuck? No, no, no. I don't think it's going to be.

Speaker 2 There's going to be a lot of fuck shit because Carson Wentz is playing.

Speaker 1 Now, do we, do we. So, like, are we going to record? Are we going to lose? Is the Colts Jets worthy of us recording late? No,

Speaker 1 absolutely not. I don't think so.
Come on. Congratulations to the Colts.
Yeah, we are.

Speaker 1 There's your start of Friday's part of Monday. Are you serious?

Speaker 2 Yeah, Sam Ellinger got in in the second half. Lit him up.
Three touchdowns.

Speaker 1 We watch Bears in the second half. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And a rushing touchdown.

Speaker 1 Okay, fine.

Speaker 2 We watch Bears games, yes. Yes.

Speaker 1 Bears are

Speaker 1 played on a Thursday night this year, have they? Last season. Last season? Yeah, they beat the Bucs.
They were a playoff team last year. Anyway.

Speaker 1 They created the MVP for us. Anyway, anyway.

Speaker 1 We'll do Zoom.

Speaker 6 Also, Denver.

Speaker 1 Okay. How about that, Billy? That's fine.

Speaker 2 Denver paid $9 million of Von Riller's $9.1 million guaranteed money, so they kind of repaid the city.

Speaker 1 They really wanted to come out after the Halloween party at that time.

Speaker 1 All right, Jake, finish this off with hot seat cool throw, and then we'll get to Bubble Watson, and we have chaps.

Speaker 2 My hot seat is the Villanova student section.

Speaker 6 PFT posted this video a couple of days ago.

Speaker 2 They had their season tip-off, off, Hoops Mania, and the students stormed the court afterwards. And literally, every single student in this video, go to PFT's Twitter, tripped.

Speaker 1 I think it was an elevated court, but

Speaker 2 it's very funny. It looks like the invasion of Normandy if it took place inside of a Brooks Brothers.

Speaker 6 Luckily, they're a powerhouse.

Speaker 2 They probably won't have a reason to storm the court. Everyone just eating shit.

Speaker 1 It was traveling right out there.

Speaker 2 Is college basketball doing this on purpose to try to discourage students from storming the court? Laying booby traps out there? Yeah, that's something to think about. It's certainly possible.

Speaker 2 Cool Throne is friend of the program, Jeff Fisher.

Speaker 2 He and Marvin Lewis are coaching the 2022 NFL PA Collegiate Bowl at the Rose Bowl.

Speaker 7 Yes.

Speaker 1 Jeff Fisher, Rose Bowl, add it to the resume. Verse Marvin Lewis.
Yes.

Speaker 2 I love it. That's going to be such a 12-12 game.
I love it.

Speaker 1 I love it.

Speaker 2 Actually, no one's going to win that game. That's going to be a tie.
January.

Speaker 2 That's the unwinnable force against the undefeatable object. Yes.

Speaker 1 All right. Good job.
Let's get to Bubba Watson. Then we got chaps on the other side.

Speaker 2 PFT, you got a quick word for our sponsor.

Speaker 8 The Pro Football Football Show is presented by the Chevy Silverado. Built for the hustle, ready for the game.
Chevy Silverado is America's most dependable full-size truck.

Speaker 8 Whether you're grinding through the week or gearing up for kickoff, the Silverado is one ride that's always game ready. Just like football, it's about grit, grind, and getting it done.

Speaker 8 Head to Chevy.com to learn more and build your own Chevy Silverado.

Speaker 2 Now, here's Bubba Watson.

Speaker 1 Okay, we we now welcome on a very special guest. It is two-time Masters Champion,

Speaker 1 pro golfer, legend, Bubba Watson. He has a new book out.
It's called Up and Down. Go buy it right now.
Bubba Watson's new book. It's called Up and Down, Victories and Struggles in the Course of Life.

Speaker 1 So thank you for joining us. We love having people in studio.

Speaker 1 We'll get into everything, but let's start with the book. So

Speaker 1 what made you decide like, hey, now's the time I'm going to write a book?

Speaker 1 Because I always feel like that's a big decision of your career's not over, but you're writing a book about your career while you're still golfing.

Speaker 6 Yeah, for sure. You know, the pandemic happened.
Everybody wanted me to write a book before when I won the masters for the first time. And I wasn't ready.
Like, write a golf book?

Speaker 6 Who cares about a golf book, right? Nobody cares where your elbow is at Impact. And so for me, I wanted to do it at the right time.
And the pandemic happened.

Speaker 6 I just came out of the darkest days of my life, or so far the darkest days of my life. And so I felt like it was time for me to share, to help myself, but also to try to help other people.

Speaker 6 And so the timing with the pandemic and everything, I wish I could say I put that all together, but obviously it was just a random that that was the time to do it. And it was just, it fit.

Speaker 6 I just came out of my darkest hours in 2017. And so here we are today talking about the book.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 So what was it in 2017 that took you to a bad place where you realized something's got to change?

Speaker 6 You know, it builds up. You know, when you sit back and really, really dig deep into it, it starts from childhood, bits and pieces from every part of life, right?

Speaker 6 Golf to friendships to all these things, how my parents raised me. And then in 2017, I got down to 162 pounds, normally around 190 on a good day.
And

Speaker 6 so when I saw 162 on the scale, I walked over to my bed about 15 feet away, and I just fell to my knees and said, God, take me. I said, I can't do this no more.

Speaker 6 I don't want my wife to see me go through this. I don't want my kids.
So

Speaker 6 blood work, sickness, all those things, nothing. I didn't have anything, but I had obviously some mental issues, some stuff going on I was battling, and I wasn't sharing it.

Speaker 6 I was letting it fester inside of me. And so that was my darkest moments when I had to go to the kitchen and

Speaker 6 show my wife and tell my wife that I'm a man, but I'm weak.

Speaker 6 I need to change.

Speaker 1 And I would imagine mental issues. Golf's got to help that, right? Being like the most mentally taxing sport.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like I was perusing the book today, and you got into it about how bad shots would eat you up and poor performances would eat you up.

Speaker 1 That's got to be, I can't think of a sport that is more mentally taxing, especially if you're not in the right headspace, than golf.

Speaker 6 Right.

Speaker 6 And so when, yeah, when I started watching the World Rankings or the FedEx Cup or, you know, trying to make the Writer Cup or the President's Cup team, and I was letting that dictate how my day was or how my life was, and listening to people badmouth me or seeing people badmouth me on social media, you know, it took a toll on me.

Speaker 6 And, you know, I can sit here and say I'm tough as can be, but when you hear those words or see those words, it takes a toll on you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So that's interesting because, you know,

Speaker 1 it's obviously social media, there's some bad sides to it, and people are nasty online.

Speaker 1 Were you just reading replies and reading what people were saying? Because we always think of athletes like, I think it's a weird catch-22 for athletes where if they do reply, we're like, oh,

Speaker 1 get some perspective, dude. You're a millionaire.
You're playing a sport. Like, why do you care what these trolls say? But if you also just try to ignore it, it can eat at you that way, too.

Speaker 1 So you kind of are damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Speaker 6 Yeah, but if you think about it, we're all human, right? We all have issues.

Speaker 6 We can say we don't have issues. Right.

Speaker 1 But we all got them.

Speaker 6 Everybody in this room has them. Whatever those issues are, it's big to you.
It might be small to me, but my issues might be small to you, right? And so we're all battling something.

Speaker 6 And when it comes to that, you know, that's what you have to realize. And being an athlete, we're still a human being.
It's just my job. I mean, you know, being a professional golfer.

Speaker 6 Somebody else's job, they got issues over there. They got issues in life.
And so, yeah, we're all trying to get through life. We all want to be loved and respected.

Speaker 6 And so, that's really what we're trying to do. But you're right.
I mean, if you don't read it, you know it's there. If you do read it, you know it's there.
So, either way, it doesn't matter.

Speaker 6 You know it's coming.

Speaker 1 So, so to lighten the room a little, I'll give you one of my issues. I keep betting against Georgia.
Well, yeah, that's an issue I'm dealing with right now.

Speaker 6 That's not an issue.

Speaker 6 That's just dumb.

Speaker 1 That's one where you did. I mean, that's not even an issue.

Speaker 2 From your perspective, you're like, well, you could just stop betting on Georgia, but you don't understand how our minds work somehow.

Speaker 1 14 points, 43 points.

Speaker 2 Well, first of all, what's going to happen if we quit, the next thing that's going to happen, we're going to be like, damn, I wish I should have bet against Georgia.

Speaker 6 Yeah, right. But see,

Speaker 6 that is the truth. You said the truth there.
I don't know anything about betting, so I don't know what your mind's going through.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 6 And so, right. But guess what? I'm going to love you and respect you no matter what.

Speaker 1 I appreciate that. You know what? I'm going to start using that.

Speaker 1 When I lose, when I bet Florida plus 14 and a half, and I lose that and feel like such an idiot when Georgia just starts rolling over them. I'm like, you know what?

Speaker 1 I'm going to love and respect myself.

Speaker 6 That last two minutes of the first.

Speaker 1 I actually,

Speaker 1 it was so bad for me because

Speaker 1 I went up to do something with my son, and I came back back down and I was like, wait, what's the score? I completely missed like, it happened that fast too.

Speaker 6 It was 3-3.

Speaker 1 It was, oh, brutal, brutal.

Speaker 2 It's unbelievable. I got to imagine that writing the book was a little cathartic for you.
It got, you know, it gave you an opportunity to put your feelings down on paper.

Speaker 2 But then doing like a book tour around your book, that's almost like a different type of like.

Speaker 2 excuse for you to get all this stuff out in public. It's different to say it out loud than it is to write it down on a piece of paper.
Has it been like, do you feel better?

Speaker 2 Do you feel lighter about yourself that you're able to talk about it so freely doing these press interviews?

Speaker 2 And like, is that something that you notice that you feel different after you've written the book and after your story is kind of out there?

Speaker 6 No, I'm scared to death to come on these shows and talk about it. But I mean, I'm free talking about it and writing it down.
Yes, I feel 100% free because I have nothing to hide.

Speaker 6 I have nothing to hide from you or anybody else out there.

Speaker 6 And, you know, first of all, I got to be a man and talk to my wife wife and explain to her what I'm going through and get her to help me and her still love me.

Speaker 6 And so, yeah, I mean, now talking about it, now it's a different role. Now the role is to help somebody else.
If I can help one other person that's listening, that would be amazing.

Speaker 6 That would be a dream come true.

Speaker 6 And so for me, I've already had my help and I'm going to have, now I'm able to catch it, hopefully able to catch it next time I start going down the black hole. And hopefully I catch it.

Speaker 6 And so we don't have another dark day or the darkest day or a new dark day. And

Speaker 6 so, yeah, my whole goal now is to talk about it, to put it out there so that I can try to help one other person.

Speaker 1 It's great, too, because there's definitely been a shift in the culture where athletes have felt like they can talk about these things a lot more.

Speaker 1 And I think it's really important because we always look up to athletes as being, those are the mentally toughest people in the world. They got no problems.
They're rich. They're famous.

Speaker 1 They're awesome. And it's great to see these moments in this book being like, hey, I'm a human, too, and showing that vulnerability.

Speaker 6 Yeah, for sure. But, you know, I think that the athlete, the athlete right now, or celebrity, however you want to word it, has the platform.

Speaker 6 The police officer, the fireman, the military man and woman, the teachers, teachers are going through a lot.

Speaker 6 Doctors, nurses, I mean, we can look here and point at fingers all the day. They don't have the platform.
So right now, athletes are so-called celebrities are the platform.

Speaker 6 And the more we talk about it, the more we're going to do something about it as a whole. You know, doctors and scientists are going to start looking at how they can help that around the world.

Speaker 6 And it might be as simple as just hugging people. You know what I'm saying? I mean, we miss that.
Like now, it's like weird. Even a handshake, you're like, am I allowed to handshake?

Speaker 1 Just being nice to someone.

Speaker 1 And so that's where we all want to be loved.

Speaker 6 And I think now we're missing that. And I think that athletes are just helping us get to the point where we are free to talk about it and we don't judge anybody on it.

Speaker 6 And then hopefully we'll help the people that are truly, you know, helping our youth show up.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, so everyone go check out the book, Up and Down. Like I said, so you've done a ton of interviews.
You were on, what, Good Morning America this morning or today's show?

Speaker 1 You were doing serious. You've done a million interviews.
We pride ourselves on doing interviews a little bit different. So hopefully you don't have to feel nervous about only talking about the book.

Speaker 1 So I had a few questions. Hold on, Jeff.

Speaker 6 This is different. We got a weight room over here.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yes,

Speaker 1 it's a mess in here.

Speaker 6 We got Jordans all around.

Speaker 1 We got sunglasses. Yeah, exactly.
It's weird.

Speaker 2 It's very different. First of all, how much do you bench? I saw you eyeing that thing earlier.

Speaker 6 I don't bench that much. I'm a little less than that.
Okay. Yeah.
Me and Brooks are about the same. Brooks, he's probably about, you know, what is he about, 95? So we're about, I'm right at it.

Speaker 1 I'm right at 92 or so.

Speaker 1 All right, so my first question that you probably didn't get asked on the today show, have you ever felt like you're a little bit of a fraud with the nickname Bubba because you're skinny?

Speaker 6 Oh, man, fraud.

Speaker 1 I mean, Bubbas are kind of big guys, right?

Speaker 6 Well, see, that's judging again.

Speaker 1 What's up? No, we're just talking about that. I just talked to you about the time you looked at the scale and it was fraud.
Exactly. That is a sensitive subject.
Yeah, that is.

Speaker 1 Let me answer this, though. Let me answer this, though.

Speaker 6 So when I was born, I was chubby. And so my parents,

Speaker 6 my mom said, I look like a football player. And I know him from Police Academy, but Bubba Smith was coming through.
He was playing ball in 78 when I was born.

Speaker 6 And so I know him from Police Academy, but Bubba Smith. So he was the guy at the time, right? And so they, my mom said, oh, we got a Bubba.

Speaker 6 And so it just stuck ever since that 30 seconds I first came out of the womb, I guess.

Speaker 1 It might be the best nickname that you can have. Like, when you think of of the list of nicknames, Bubba is such a great nickname.

Speaker 6 I mean, do you know how many people would make fun of me if I went with Gary Lester?

Speaker 1 Yeah, we were talking about that.

Speaker 2 I was going to ask you about the nickname, and then I saw your full name, and I was like, well, it's pretty obvious why he goes by Bubba.

Speaker 1 Bubba's a cool name. Yeah, I seem tough with Bubba.

Speaker 1 Yeah, his name's Liam, and we just decided to call him Bubba because we're like, every crew should use a Bubba. Right.
Everybody needs one. Yeah, like having a Bubba around makes your life better.

Speaker 6 It just makes you seem tougher.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and it also makes you seem friendly.

Speaker 1 Like, you can't be mad at at bubba that's just bubba no that's bubba yeah it's just bubba being bubba you call up bubba bubba will just hang right you know bubba will watch the dogs on a saturday and just hang exactly that's a bubble how often are you in a room with another bubba oh man in a room with another bubba yeah this is probably the first time in a long time really yeah i did their i did their rick and bubba show a couple days ago we did their podcast but um yeah from they're from what birmingham alabama i feel like it's a highlander situation there can only be one in any room so like maybe while you're in here or should we call you jerry should we call liam liam yeah we'll call you liam we'll give you the honor being the only the only bubba in the room for right now to stay bubba for right now i mean you know how i mean you know how i'd have to write more books if everybody called me gary lester i know that'd be a whole different it's a whole different mind level you know what i'm saying

Speaker 1 gary lester doesn't win the masters just say it right exactly he does not gary lester wins the masters in 1965

Speaker 1 yes yeah but not in 2012.

Speaker 2 yeah you tell your grandkids i saw gary lester booty 17. yeah i have a very important question for you This might be the most important question you've ever been asked.
Oh, man.

Speaker 2 When did you decide to become a top button guy?

Speaker 6 Oh, top button guy. That's easy.

Speaker 6 Since the day I started wearing buttons, gosh, I wore knickers until I was 13. Shot 62 when I was 13.
So

Speaker 6 I canceled those while my grandma was making them for me.

Speaker 6 And then the top button,

Speaker 6 my hairy chest started coming out. And so I try to hide it.
You know, I keep that werewolf in there. You know, I don't want to anybody to see that.
So I just try to be polite.

Speaker 6 Same thing when I go in a pool. You know, I put on a long sleeve t-shirt.

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 6 make sure everybody doesn't see that hair flowing everywhere.

Speaker 2 Although, I think that'd be kind of intimidating, though.

Speaker 2 If you're playing in match play against somebody, back nine, you take the three buttons down, you take it down all the way, and you just let the taco meet out. You let the other guy see it.

Speaker 2 That would be intimidating for me as a golfer.

Speaker 6 Yeah, true. But, you know, my wife of 17 years, I don't want her to think I'm getting uglier, so I got to try to hide that, you know?

Speaker 1 Yeah, cover it up. I like that.
I like that. You also, you're kind of a man after my heart because you bought an ice cream store.

Speaker 6 Yeah, started one.

Speaker 1 And you run it, operate it?

Speaker 6 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 I love that. I love ice cream so much.

Speaker 6 I mean, you got a couple options in this world, and you could either go alcohol or you could go sugar. And I went with sugar.

Speaker 1 That's whenever, like, I'm not a huge drinker, and I'm always, I mean, I used to, but now not as much. And it's like, why not just eat my calories? You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Why not just, instead of drinking them, I'll have a pint of ice cream on a Friday night.

Speaker 6 Right. And you feel like you could have two pints

Speaker 6 and nothing changes.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 All right. So we're one and the same in this.

Speaker 6 But you still feel bad the next morning. Yeah, of course.

Speaker 1 Always. Oh, I feel bad while I'm doing it.

Speaker 2 The hangover might be worse from ice cream, honestly.

Speaker 1 Like, you're a disgusting piece of shit. You're just eating this pint of ice cream.

Speaker 6 And then you wash it down with Doritos. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So, wait, so what's, what is it? How does running an ice cream store like, is it difficult? I mean, I would imagine ice cream just sells itself, especially in Florida.

Speaker 6 Exactly. You haven't seen any commercials about the ice cream shop yet.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right.

Speaker 1 That's true.

Speaker 1 They're never like, hey, ice cream needs a bounce back.

Speaker 1 It's recession-proof.

Speaker 6 Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 6 So we have the, we make the fudges in-house right there, hand-dipped chocolates, and then we have the ice cream, and then we have the old school candies that most kids don't even know about today.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Check it out.
What's your favorite flavor?

Speaker 6 Birthday cake. Yes,

Speaker 1 that's a great choice. So my ice cream.

Speaker 6 I always keep birthday cake ice cream there just in case I show up. And then

Speaker 6 birthday cake fudge is always on hand just in case.

Speaker 2 Damn, I love how birthday cake people don't order birthday cake ice cream that much, but it's really the perfect dessert.

Speaker 2 You're taking another great dessert and turning it into a different dessert, which is somehow better than the original.

Speaker 6 And it makes it feel like it's your birthday all the time. Yeah, yeah, it's like it's a good day.
And it is your birthday.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yes. Happy birthday.
And so that, I saw that. And then I also saw in an interview that you said you don't like to work out and you like to sleep a lot instead.

Speaker 6 Oh, for sure.

Speaker 1 So you are,

Speaker 1 we're best friends.

Speaker 6 Just for the record, though, okay, we're not friends anymore because I started working out.

Speaker 1 Oh, why? You betrayed us.

Speaker 6 Yeah, exactly. I'm getting older fast.
Yeah. So I'm trying to, you know, when I see Brooks and Bryson and all these young guys working out, I'm like, dang it, man.
I guess I got to start.

Speaker 1 So explain that, though, because obviously the tour has kind of changed a little bit. There's been evolutions.
Tiger dominated for a very long time. This new crop is

Speaker 1 exceptional golfers. Everyone's looking like they're real athletes.

Speaker 1 It used to be a day and age when golfers weren't considered you know, real athletes because they didn't work out the way that Tiger worked out and now the guys do now.

Speaker 1 But you always have been able to hit the ball long. What is that? Like what you don't have to be

Speaker 1 a muscle freak to be great at golf.

Speaker 6 For sure, no, because I'm definitely not a muscle freak. And so I won a couple of big tournaments.
But,

Speaker 6 you know, for me,

Speaker 6 it's stretching my arms. It's using my...

Speaker 6 width of my swing to make clubhead speed. And some other guys are using muscle to create the speed.
I'm using the width of my arc to create the clubhead speed.

Speaker 6 And the bigger the arc, the more the clubhead can speed up at impact. And so that's what I've been doing.

Speaker 6 Now that I'm working out, my working out now is just so I can run with my kids as they play sports as I get older, making sure my body stays healthy.

Speaker 6 Forget golf, just in general, life in general is where I started working out for him.

Speaker 2 Some about to hit that. You do have the wingspan.
Your wingspan is, it's probably abnormally wide, even for a guy of your height.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there's that six.

Speaker 6 Man, I got to have a counseling session after this.

Speaker 1 Well, no, no, I'm saying like

Speaker 1 you're a freak show.

Speaker 2 You're like the Dwight Howard of the PGA.

Speaker 1 You do all these awesome interviews and you come in and be like, how are you such a freak? No, baby.

Speaker 2 It's interesting because that's how you generate all your speed is with your wingspan, right? Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 2 So when you stretch your arms out, are you saying that you actually try to make your arms longer?

Speaker 2 And can you tell, you know, when you're just walking around, you're like, my arms are feeling really long today?

Speaker 6 So, yeah, I mean, my nickname, it's actually in college, my nickname was Freak Show because of the shots I could hit.

Speaker 6 And then people started calling me the orangutan because how heavy I am and my long arms.

Speaker 1 So yeah, I mean,

Speaker 6 anything else you want to call me?

Speaker 6 So no, when you think about it, yeah,

Speaker 6 I'm letting my arms naturally break down. So when I take the club back, my arm's straight, and then it naturally breaks down.
It has to, or I can't make the swing.

Speaker 6 And so that's literally what I'm doing is trying to use my arms, keep them straight as possible, make the bigger arc. So yeah, you're right.

Speaker 2 I mean, to a sense. And anybody listening, like, you probably get the sense that, you know, we're calling them all these names.

Speaker 2 You're a very normal looking guy.

Speaker 1 You're a good-looking guy.

Speaker 2 But if you're listening right now, you're like,

Speaker 2 who are they interviewing right now?

Speaker 1 Well, it's just, I mean, it's exceptional because, like I said, today's, you know, PGA, there are guys who are clearly working out a ton to try to hit the ball very, very long.

Speaker 1 You've finished many years as the longest, you know, from the T-box, and I've always been impressed by that. And it's like, it's not,

Speaker 1 from afar, it's not like you're doing something exceptional. Clearly, you are exceptional.
So it's always interesting to watch when you watch a golfer who like maybe isn't like Tiger.

Speaker 1 When you watch Tiger, especially when he was working out, you're like, whoa, he's a specimen. You know what I mean? When Bryson is doing it, he's clearly doing some things.

Speaker 1 You got up there, you hit the ball a mile, and you did it looking like a somewhat normal guy.

Speaker 6 Right. And again, it's all technique.
You know, there's different techniques out there. I don't know how much I'll know about golf, but J.B.
Holmes. J.B.

Speaker 6 Holmes is from Kentucky, and he's like country strong, and he comes down with a short swing. Tony Fenile, the same way.

Speaker 6 Very short swing, very compact, but it's a lot of power in there, even though he might not look like it. Like DJ.
DJ's, he's very physically fit and athletic, but he doesn't look muscular overall.

Speaker 6 And so people have different techniques to create the power, and mine just having to be without muscles. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 You're being you, though. That's that's the thing.
Like, you could try to be somebody else, stay away, like steer away from what you're naturally good at and

Speaker 2 how you feel the game out yourself, but

Speaker 2 you're trying to be the best Bubba that you can be.

Speaker 6 100%. And try not to three-putt.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 that would be nice.

Speaker 2 I saw that you moved into Tiger Woods' old house.

Speaker 6 Yeah, a couple years ago.

Speaker 6 Not anymore, but yes, back in the day. Back in the day.

Speaker 2 So you bought the house. Did you buy it directly from Tiger?

Speaker 2 Maybe. So

Speaker 2 what was that like? What was the weirdest thing? Because every time you move into a new house, you find something or there's a weird setup. Did he have a red room down in the basement?

Speaker 6 In Florida, we don't have basements, by the way. Water would come in.

Speaker 6 So the weirdest thing, you know, we closed on the house. I won the Masters in

Speaker 6 2012.

Speaker 6 Yeah, 2012 I won the Masters. And then the U.S.
Open was the next major back then. And it was me,

Speaker 6 Phil Mickelson, and Tiger Woods. And we closed on his house or my new house

Speaker 6 that same week that we all played together.

Speaker 6 Well, I think it was

Speaker 6 Olympic Club in California. So, yeah, that's when we closed.
But obviously, we're playing golf. We didn't talk about it.
But I showed him the pictures.

Speaker 6 I took it, I changed the house 95% of the house I changed and put it, you know, made it mine instead of his. So I showed him the pictures afterwards.
But yeah.

Speaker 2 Did he like what you did with it, or was he like, why'd you get rid of my

Speaker 2 special training room that I have that I play Call of Duty in and practice sniping?

Speaker 6 That's sad that you know that we all have those rooms.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I I know that he's definitely got a gaming room, right?

Speaker 1 Oh, man.

Speaker 6 Who does? I have a gaming room. That's phenomenal.
Yeah. But yeah, so yeah, I changed it, showed him, and showed him how I did things and how I,

Speaker 6 my vision of how, you know, I wanted the house set up. But yeah, I thought he liked it.

Speaker 2 Did it occur to you when you were playing golf with him, like, hey, if I hold this putt on 18, why don't you knock $100,000 off the price?

Speaker 6 No,

Speaker 6 I never did because, you know, again, the story, the reason why I bought it is, you know, there was,

Speaker 6 we adopted my son, and I needed a house in Florida. He couldn't leave the state of Florida for a while, and so we were in Arizona at the time.

Speaker 6 So I started house shopping in Isleworth, and his popped up, and so I was like, hey, man, but privately, I mean, not popped up on like Zillow, you know, but it popped up.

Speaker 2 So we wait, there's like a different, there's a different app that you use if you're buying high. It's like the Raya of

Speaker 1 real estate. No.
Y'all haven't gotten that? Marketing?

Speaker 2 I haven't gotten invited to that app just yet.

Speaker 1 You'll get there.

Speaker 1 I wanted to talk about the masters. So you have two masters titles, 2012 and 2014.
2014, you won,

Speaker 1 you know, a little bit easier. You won by a few strokes.
2012, your first one, you won in a playoff.

Speaker 1 What, like, that has to be the most intense pressure cooker situation to trying to break through for your first major victory and you go to a playoff? Like, were you just...

Speaker 1 Were you going crazy internally?

Speaker 1 Were you kind of losing it? Like, holy shit, this will change my life? Or were you able to stay like, you know, even keel and do the thing?

Speaker 6 So I birdied,

Speaker 6 before we got in the playoff, let's start it back.

Speaker 6 I bogied 12. I was just off the green.
I counted as a three-putt, even though it wasn't a three-putt statistically. But then I birdied 13, 14, 15, 16.
So now I'm tied for the lead.

Speaker 6 And I remember talking to Ted Scott. We're walking to my caddy, and we were walking to the 17th.
We come around the bunker and walk up to 17T. And I said, oh, my gosh, we're tied for the lead.

Speaker 6 He goes, yeah. I said, we have a chance to win the Masters.

Speaker 1 He goes, yeah.

Speaker 6 He goes, hit me a good t-shirt. I sliced it so far to the left.
I was like, oh, my gosh. And then when I'm walking to the ball, I'm thinking about it in my head is that

Speaker 6 we got a chance. Just calm down.

Speaker 6 I don't think he had the best of shots either. I can't remember where he hit it.
But,

Speaker 6 you know, if we have a lucky break or whatever in the trees or whatever it is. So I hit it on the green.

Speaker 6 Now,

Speaker 6 you know, we make a couple pars. He makes a par, I make a par.
First playoff while we make pars. And now on number 10,

Speaker 6 I hit a hook, or I pulled it, my T-shot. So I'm in the trees.
And then he hits this little flare three wood.

Speaker 6 But walking down there, I'm like, oh my, and if you watch the coverage, you can see my shoulders drop after the T-shot. I'm like, I'm like, oh.

Speaker 6 Because 2010, I lost to Martin Kymer at Whistling Straits the PGA Championship. So I was like, oh, my gosh, my one chance to win a major, I blow it.
Now, here's the Masters. I hook it.

Speaker 6 I'm like, oh my gosh, my second chance in a playoff. I'm blowing it.
But then when, you know, things happen, right, the wind's blowing the right way. I hit this amazing hook shot

Speaker 6 and hit it up there, you know, give or take, 15 feet and two putt for the victory. But at that moment, it was like the highest moment.
I've already four in a row.

Speaker 6 And I was like, oh my gosh, I have a chance to win. So my mind changed, right? My mindset was instead of focusing on just hitting every shot, I started focusing on, I have a chance to win.

Speaker 6 And then I choked on myself and sliced it. And then I thought I blew it again on number 10.
And so, yeah, I mean, you have these, it's kind of like the book, the ups and downs.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's crazy. Now, in 2014, it's always fascinates me when a golfer gets to the 18th hole and they've got it in the bag, right? Like, they've got it.

Speaker 1 That's what you think so. Well, yeah, the only thing that can happen is catastrophic disaster.

Speaker 1 We actually, I don't know if you know this, but a lot of times, like, casual golf fans will play the game of like, how far would we have to be up to not blow this?

Speaker 1 Like, if we were up 10 strokes on the 18th hole at Augusta, could I find a way to get it in the hole and win the Masters?

Speaker 1 So is that, do you feel pressure when you're on the 18th and you're up three strokes? You're like, okay, I got this.

Speaker 2 I just,

Speaker 1 there's pretty much nothing I can do to screw this up.

Speaker 1 That's a totally different type of pressure, but it's got to feel, in a weird way, almost just as extreme because you know the chance of a collapse here is like, that would be all time.

Speaker 6 Yeah, so, you know, as a kid, you always dream of making the putt to win the masters or making the putt or throwing a touchdown pass or whatever that dream is and

Speaker 6 i dreamed of one day uh

Speaker 6 winning by so much at any tournament i was just going to high five everybody down the fairway uh-huh yes so now i'm winning by three i hit this beautiful three wood uh right down the middle hit this nine iron to about you know a little cut nine iron to about 12 feet i'm winning by three

Speaker 6 and i was like nope and i kept my head down because i was like Would you rather be the winner or would you rather be that guy they talked about? And so I was like, don't high five anybody.

Speaker 6 You keep your head down. And I I remember Ted Scott was right next to me on the green.
And I said, hey, I can four-putt, right?

Speaker 1 And he goes, yes. I said, are you sure?

Speaker 6 Like, look at the board. I didn't want to look at the board.
So I said, look at the board again. He said, yes, you can four-putt.
I said, are you sure?

Speaker 6 Like, we're acting like we're looking at the putt. And I'm like, I'm like, I'm talking to him, not about which way it breaks.
I'm like, I can four-putt, right? And he said, yes. So I hit it so easy.

Speaker 6 I mean, it stopped a couple inches short.

Speaker 6 And I tapped it in.

Speaker 2 You didn't ask him like, hey, can I three-putt. I can three-putt.

Speaker 6 Well, I went that one real fast, so I'd make sure I hit it good. So I tapped it in, and then my son walks out, and I remember picking my son up.

Speaker 6 He wasn't there the first master, so now he's there. And so he walks out on the green.

Speaker 6 I pick him up, and then I went down to the front of the green, and because he was in my right hand, I high fived all the way down my left.

Speaker 6 I went all the way down to the front of the green, high five, went down the crowd to the scoring area, and high five all the way.

Speaker 6 And because I remember that moment as a kid, and so I wanted to do it now that my son was in my arms, and I've already won, I could go ahead and. So I tried it.

Speaker 6 I did partly, but yeah, for the first part, I was scared to death.

Speaker 1 I appreciate that, though, because I think that it's, you know, when we're watching a tournament, a major tournament, and you have a guy who's up a lot, I expect him to have that type of like feeling like, oh, man, like, even though I have it, can I for putt this?

Speaker 6 So, you know, if going back, I know that's what y'all want to do. So, going back in 12,

Speaker 6 I putted it to what, eight inches past the hole. And so, if you noticed, if you remember the footage or seen the footage, I told everybody to quiet down.

Speaker 6 Because the week before that, there was a girl in the LPGA tour that had a

Speaker 6 one and a half foot putt to win her first major. She missed it.

Speaker 6 And then she lost in a playoff. So in my head, in this playoff now on 12, I was like, don't be the guy that misses this.
You tap it. Take your time, tap it in.
So I did that.

Speaker 6 And then when I was now flashed back to 14, I was like, okay, you're winning by three. Keep your head down.
Finish the tournament. Finish the tournament.

Speaker 6 Because I didn't, again, I didn't want want to be talked. I'd rather be talked about slow play than I would lose in the golf tournament.
Absolutely.

Speaker 2 Speaking of the crowds, if you hit a shot, like you said, the slice that you hit, I think you hit it off left on that whole after, were you tied at the time?

Speaker 6 I was tied going into 17.

Speaker 2 Tied going into 17. You hit a shot like that, and then the gallery crowds around your shot, right?

Speaker 2 Every time I see that on TV, I'm always nervous for the golfer that, like, hey, these guys are too close to where the ball is going to be flying. Does the thought even like creep into your brain?

Speaker 2 Like, this person is the angle that they gave me is way too narrow. I'm afraid I'm just going to dome somebody with my next shot.

Speaker 6 Yes, for sure. It goes back to the playoff in 2010.
Dustin Johnson, you know, he grounded his club in a bunker in a waste area,

Speaker 6 sand, whatever it was. And so he didn't make the playoff because of that penalty.
So now, going forward, Teddy,

Speaker 6 I make him go.

Speaker 6 I don't make him, but he goes up there and starts backing everybody up so I can see the shot, get everybody away, because I don't want to feel too tight when I'm swinging my club, when they're a little close to me.

Speaker 6 Now, the Masters is a different ball game. You know, they have people that dictate where fans can go and patrons can go.
So, that's different. Now, in a regular tournament,

Speaker 6 the crowds are tighter and all these things. But, yeah, so Teddy would go up and he would make sure the crowds backed up because I want to be able to see the shot.

Speaker 2 I like how you corrected yourself, though, the patrons. They're very important.

Speaker 6 Yes, I've learned that before.

Speaker 1 All right, so you got to do foreplay in a second here. I got one last question.
It's the Roeback question. Go to Roback.com, use code PFT for 20% off your first purchase.

Speaker 1 Roback.com/slash PFT for 20% off your first purchase. Best performance, zips, hoodies.

Speaker 1 They've got golf shirts, everything. R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com code PFT.
All right, my last question. Are you ready to guarantee the Georgia Bulldogs win the national championship?

Speaker 6 Yeah, I'm already checking out my ring size.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 okay.

Speaker 6 Like, they're going to give me a national championship.

Speaker 1 Why not?

Speaker 6 I wonder how much, what do you think the money is I have to donate to get a national championship?

Speaker 1 I think you already get one because every time they do college game day, you're like ready to go. So

Speaker 1 I think you get one, but we need a headline. Bubba Watson declares Georgia Bulldogs to win the national championship.

Speaker 6 How about this? I'll declare they're going to be in the SEC championship.

Speaker 1 All right, that's easy. That's easy.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Good one. Way to go out on a list.
There you go. Also, are you going to play the Masters until you're like 90? Because I love when guys do that.
Like, Freddie Couples still playing. I love that.

Speaker 6 Freddie Couples has back problems, but except that week.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's a week.

Speaker 1 I love it I love Freddie Couples I would do the same thing like oh I can play I won I can play for the rest of my life yeah you'll see me when I'm 95 until I get that piece of paper that says Bubba you're just a little your golf game sucks until you injure a patron right well I've done that many times let's go yeah that should be out there

Speaker 6 but no they're gonna have to tell me bubba you suck at golf yeah I would just show up for the for the cheap cheese sandwiches free dinner on on Thursday night but the par three though the par three yeah oh my gosh that would be to do that, especially to have my kids caddy for me

Speaker 6 as I get older, you know, where they have to help me to the tobacco.

Speaker 1 I love it. That would be awesome.
I love it. Well, this is awesome, man.
We really appreciate it. Everyone, go check out his book.

Speaker 1 It's called Up and Down Victories and Struggles in the Course of Life. Bubble Watson, Master Champion.
Thank you so much.

Speaker 6 Man, but thank you all, man. Thanks for having me.

Speaker 1 Also, Brooks or Bryson.

Speaker 6 Oh, my gosh, man.

Speaker 1 Brooks, the all dress. Yes, there we go.
Yeah, that's good. You know what?

Speaker 6 But there's a reason. There's a reason why.

Speaker 1 Because he's cool? Well,

Speaker 1 the other guy's Bryson. Yeah.

Speaker 6 No, because brooks puts on this this thing where he thinks he's a superman but he is such a teddy bear yes he is behind the scenes and he trusts

Speaker 1 exactly yeah so i love him for that okay cool good answer thank you bubba yeah thanks

Speaker 2 our little roast sesh here with chaps is going to be brought to you by our good friend falls here kids are back in school vacations are over and cozy season is officially on You know what that means?

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All right,

Speaker 1 our beautiful, wonderful,

Speaker 1 great colleague, Uncle Chaps, is here, the greatest reader of all time. That's right, zero block 30.
Go download it right now.

Speaker 1 Uh, you can also hear him on Pod Fathers. You can also hear him blogging about the Jaguars.

Speaker 1 Things aren't going well. I actually had two real quick questions.
No, I need to talk to you.

Speaker 7 I need to talk to you first.

Speaker 1 All right, but let me ask my question first. What? Okay, in

Speaker 1 three sentences or less, explain why we got out of Afghanistan.

Speaker 1 We were losing.

Speaker 1 I was just kidding. I don't have to do that.

Speaker 7 It wasn't going great.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 7 Cost a lot of money.

Speaker 1 That's pretty good.

Speaker 1 That was actually really good. I was doing that as a joke, but you nailed it.
Thank you. All right.
Now, what's your problem with me?

Speaker 7 I called you the other day. One, you've broke the rules of our call game.

Speaker 1 Okay, can I tell you where I was? Yeah. All right, so you called me at like 10 a.m.
on Monday.

Speaker 1 For once in the football season, I actually listened to my own body and went back to sleep after I dropped my son off to school for an hour nap to try to restore my health.

Speaker 1 Didn't do a lot, but I was sleeping. That's why I missed your call.

Speaker 7 That was the only excuse I was going to let you ride with.

Speaker 1 I literally dropped him off at 9, and then I went, I got it.

Speaker 7 I was like, I know they stayed up late recording. It was Sunday night.

Speaker 1 They're probably doing whoop, whoop, and all that stuff real late. Exactly.
We whoop, whoop till we're going to be able to do it. You guys are whoop-whooping all over the place.
So that was it.

Speaker 1 But I want to talk to you.

Speaker 7 I don't remember what was actually said on the show, but I remember PFT said something very ugly about the Jags.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I don't know. That doesn't sound like us.

Speaker 7 And you giggled

Speaker 7 like a hard, real giggle.

Speaker 1 I think he said, just move the Jags to England. I said,

Speaker 7 you did a giggle, and I was like, this motherfucker.

Speaker 1 Oh, man.

Speaker 7 And I had to call you. I tried to call you about it because I thought it was just, it was beyond rude.

Speaker 2 I think it was that stat that the chap, that the chaps' Jaguars are 3-14 on the west coast, but that's actually a massive improvement over their normal record. Yeah.

Speaker 2 And then Big Cat let out the

Speaker 1 Jersey Jerry.

Speaker 2 I've got a very serious question for you because Chaps, massive Astros fan, big Texas baseball fan.

Speaker 2 The Braves are playing the Astros game six tonight, so this could be it.

Speaker 1 It's already happened.

Speaker 2 It's already happened by the time you're listening. Are you a coward for not shaving your beard, for not getting creamed by Boris?

Speaker 1 You got to get creamed like last time you were in the World Series.

Speaker 7 Well, last time.

Speaker 2 You got creamed after game six.

Speaker 1 You like to get the creamed?

Speaker 7 I got creamed, and then the Astros got creamed. Yeah,

Speaker 7 so maybe I go the other way and don't shave and see if they can pull off the comeback.

Speaker 2 I feel like you have to defeat the cream.

Speaker 2 You have to go back. You have to get back on that horse and try your hand again.

Speaker 1 If the Astros lose the World Series, you get creamed.

Speaker 1 No. If the Astros won't serve the camera.

Speaker 7 Well, I made a little announcement that because I grew up a Braves fan, because I'm from Florida, and I think it's just the right of passage you had to, like, being from Florida and then switching in 2018 2018 to being an Astros fan because my kid lives closer to Houston.

Speaker 7 I want to take him to games and things like that.

Speaker 7 I'm renouncing baseball for two years.

Speaker 1 That's fair. You're sitting this one out.
Yeah. That's actually the right thing to do.

Speaker 7 Because I don't feel like I could celebrate either way. I don't feel like I could be upset that the Braves won because my Nana, rest in peace, like she would have wanted that to happen.

Speaker 1 Oh, so

Speaker 1 I can't root against

Speaker 1 us.

Speaker 7 I can't root against the ghost of my grandmother

Speaker 7 who would have been very happy and she's she's going to want to watch it from heaven. Right.
I can't do that.

Speaker 7 And I'm not going to take any satisfaction.

Speaker 1 Yes. She got your son.

Speaker 1 Did you say it? That was a question. She was lovely.
That was a question.

Speaker 1 Confirmed heaven. She was very loyal.
Confirmed heaven.

Speaker 7 Very confirmed.

Speaker 1 100% confirmed.

Speaker 7 Super heaven.

Speaker 1 You'd put your journalistic integrity on Nana being in heaven.

Speaker 7 I put my balls on the line.

Speaker 1 Whoa.

Speaker 2 I can't wait to see you get your castrated.

Speaker 1 Do you think that

Speaker 1 ghost can hear us talk right now?

Speaker 2 Say again? Do you you think ghosts can hear us talk right now? Like,

Speaker 2 you think Nana would know if you rude against the Braves?

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 7 I definitely think so. Shout out to Nana.

Speaker 1 She's doing the chop up in heaven.

Speaker 7 I mean, there'd be times where I didn't talk to her for like six months, and she would call me occasionally and being like, I don't feel like you're being a good boy.

Speaker 1 That's good. And she's definitely in heaven.

Speaker 1 And she was usually right. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Nana subscribed to the podcast

Speaker 2 from heaven.

Speaker 1 She was a big

Speaker 1 long time Stoolie. Oh, big time.

Speaker 1 Let's do a quick

Speaker 1 quick list of top three Stoolies that might have passed away in the last couple of years. Prince Philip, number one.
I wouldn't, no. Oh,

Speaker 7 okay. He was one of those, he would do like asteris barstool.

Speaker 1 Oh, not my barstool. Yeah, not my barstool.

Speaker 2 No, but he would also be like, I hate barstool, but I love the pizza reviews.

Speaker 1 I have to watch that. I think Prince Philip was Milton Tough.
Like, he probably was like, they sold out when they moved to New York.

Speaker 7 Maybe. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Maybe. He seemed like one of those old school guy.

Speaker 7 Once it went from the newspaper, he's like, I don't want any any of that newfangled digital stuff.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he was one of those guys who's like, I missed the barstool when we had like one video every three months.

Speaker 7 If Hank's not on the damn wall with duct tape, I don't want it.

Speaker 1 He's a big, like...

Speaker 1 Prince Philip. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's what he sounds like.

Speaker 1 He's a Prince Philip.

Speaker 2 He reads all the Jerry Thornton blogs still.

Speaker 1 He's a big sex teacher standing guy. He's a big sex standalone teacher guy.
All right, so who else have we lost? It was a huge

Speaker 1 Stoole.

Speaker 1 Huge Stoolee. Huge Stooley.
Yep. AWL.
Everything.

Speaker 1 He had it. I think he had.
Kobe probably led the league in Saturdays for the boys' shirts purchased. Oh, easily.
Yeah.

Speaker 7 Easily. He's probably paid for Feidelberg's kids to go to college.

Speaker 1 There's no doubt about that. Yes.
I'm trying to think

Speaker 1 we lost HW. Ed Asteroid.
HW was a huge Stoole.

Speaker 7 He loved the socks. He had the Larry of the Goldfish socks that he used to wear.

Speaker 1 Baseball.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that was my favorite clip of him on the field, and he realizes in the moment that he's on a baseball.

Speaker 7 But really, what can you do in that moment if you're hwe you i mean think about his career like he was the head of the cia

Speaker 7 he did all kinds he was in killed his vice president he was president the most accomplished politician you could say in the history of the united states except for that second election that he lost yeah but i was and when he puked on the japanese dictator or whatever not dictator president it was a fart wasn't it no he no he puked on him yeah he got food poisoning on the premier of japan yeah he's tough didn't he also did he get shot down a few times?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 7 Yeah. Yeah.
He got shot down. And then his letters that he wrote to Barbs just absolutely.

Speaker 1 Barbs also, Barb's big chicks in the office. Yeah.
Huge stoolie. Huge stool.

Speaker 1 She's called her daddy.

Speaker 7 She actually likes tea with publicity.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 Well, did.

Speaker 1 She's.

Speaker 2 Barbara Bush is past, right? Well, I thought you said publicity is past.

Speaker 2 Nope. No, she's still alive.
I just saw her today.

Speaker 1 That was

Speaker 1 a massive shock to my assistant. Bob Dole's still alive.
Speaking of former president's still alive, Jimmy Carter. If we lose him, I would imagine ours will go down.

Speaker 7 Are you ready for a Jimmy Carter? Fun fact. Okay, yes.
When I started doing longtime Thule stuff, which I'm starting back up, by the way.

Speaker 1 Hell yes.

Speaker 7 I finally set my shop up.

Speaker 7 I got a book in the mail from Jimmy Carter

Speaker 7 signed to chaps Keep It Up Bud.

Speaker 1 So he actually is a stoolie.

Speaker 7 Well, I think it's like his great-grandson or something like that. That's still counting.
It's in my shop sitting there from old Jimmy. Wow.

Speaker 2 Jimmy, big fan of Smoke Show of the Day.

Speaker 1 Wow. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Fuck yeah. Guess that ass?

Speaker 1 Jimmy Carter. Jimmy's like, I know that ass.
I think Jimmy Carter is barbs.

Speaker 2 Jimmy Carter is the rare rare American where people are like, even if they absolutely hate him as a politician, they're like, he's, I have to admit, he's pretty cool because if you spend 40 years of your life just volunteering to build houses for homeless people, nobody can say anything about you anymore.

Speaker 2 Right. Good person.

Speaker 7 Yeah, I think Jimmy Carter needs a TikTok, too. Like sitting on one of those ruse with his gross gross yellow toenails being like i understood the assignment

Speaker 2 um i have a serious chaps for the boys serious question for you though uh so you're sitting right next to i think technically your superior billy football

Speaker 2 i believe he outranks you now since he's still of eligible age to serve in the united states military um what do you think about billy's outfits recently I like him.

Speaker 1 I think he looks very nice. No, but when he wears the camo and in the airport exclusively.
Yeah, gets upgraded first class because JJ Watt gives him his smart money.

Speaker 7 So you're okay with that. And I actually like it.
I think more people who aren't in the military need to start wearing camouflage that helps the military members with OPSEC.

Speaker 7 Like at anti-terrorism awareness, where you're just throwing people off the scent. They don't know which one is the troop and which one isn't.

Speaker 1 Oh. Oh, okay.

Speaker 2 And also, it's probably nice.

Speaker 2 Like, if you just got out of the military and you're still making that transition to civilian life, if you have a lot of people around you that wear, you know, little hints, little pieces of flare of camouflage, it's a transition.

Speaker 1 It's an acclimate. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Last thing before we get to the roast: salute to troops

Speaker 1 month in the NFL.

Speaker 1 That's got to feel special.

Speaker 7 Oh, God, it feels so good. Like to finally...

Speaker 1 They're making the football about you.

Speaker 7 To have like a backwards American flag on the sleeve of a hoodie just feels so good.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Actually,

Speaker 2 the Jaguars shouldn't be allowed to salute the troops. No.
I feel like that's demoralizing for the troops.

Speaker 1 They give an F you to the troops, specifically you, by being bad. Burkin Meyer's got to be a bad.

Speaker 7 I actually think that the Jags should, and this is something I hadn't thought about, I wouldn't mind seeing the Jags have to wear red jerseys when they go play in England. They're like the red coats.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes. Well, they will eventually be the home team.

Speaker 2 Don't you dare. England.
Trevor Lawrence is good. Who do you want for your next coach? He's good.

Speaker 7 Not urban. I was all in on urban.
You guys know. I was tweeting.
I was positive about urban.

Speaker 1 Two 12 men

Speaker 1 on the field in a row.

Speaker 7 And there was also two on offense that you guys didn't talk about.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 7 They had to do a timeout because one happened on offense as well. And one of them, they had 12 men on the field after halftime.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 7 The first possession after halftime.

Speaker 1 How does that happen? It's Urban Meyer.

Speaker 2 Urban Meyer. What did you think about his video, though? Did we in the media turn it into a big thing when in reality, it's just, you know, him getting some strange on with his knuckles?

Speaker 7 There's, well, there's two schools of thought on butt fingering, really. And first up,

Speaker 7 it didn't go inside the denim. Like whenever you, if you really zoom in,

Speaker 7 the denim never dents. Right.

Speaker 7 So it was more like a brushing.

Speaker 1 It was a great.

Speaker 1 It It was a buy.

Speaker 1 It was kind of the foreplay at the bar. Like, hey, do you like this? If you like this, there's more knuckles where the bushes are.

Speaker 7 It's like when you're in or like middle school and you're trying to hold hands for the first time and you're brushing up against someone to see if their finger touches your finger a little bit and then you like go with the one like are we going to interlock one little pink yeah whose leg like oh did that leg just does she know i'm actually touching it her leg and her hand does she know is it okay it was that's kind of where it was if you're the graze It's drilling, right, guys?

Speaker 1 No, no, it is. It is.

Speaker 2 The graze, and then she can lean back further into the hand if she's enjoying the knuckles that are like dancing with the butt. And then it's on her.
You give her the agency to determine

Speaker 1 how much patriarchy a little bit.

Speaker 2 Exactly. It's actually a very, it's a good thing that Urban was doing.

Speaker 1 I am a long-standing believer that like almost fucking is better than fucking. Because you can go home and one, you didn't cheat on your wife.
So good job, Urban. We don't talk about that part.

Speaker 1 She doesn't have to get off Twitter. Yeah, two.

Speaker 7 She had 50,000 followers that are now just gone.

Speaker 1 Yeah, too. You can go home and get the late-night piece of pizza and be like, man, I would have fucked.
And it would have been, I would have, I would have been awesome. Still got it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I would have, like, if I wanted to, we would have fucked for a really long time.

Speaker 7 And there's got to be something to be as old as Urban Meyer is. Like, I guess he's in his 60s, probably, 50s, 60s.
Sure. Somewhere around that.
Been married for like 30 years.

Speaker 7 Can you imagine the thrill of a new first kiss?

Speaker 1 Yeah, and almost fucking.

Speaker 1 he,

Speaker 2 I don't want to speak out of school, but he probably jerked off to himself.

Speaker 1 Oh, he definitely been jerking off about it. That poor girl, that poor girl, though.
You think you want to see you should see his ceiling. Yo, yeah, so just clear up, chaps does come on his ceiling.

Speaker 2 No. Where did that come from, by the way?

Speaker 2 Because I woke up on Sunday morning and I opened up Instagram, and the part of my take account was like, just to be clear, Big Cat did not say that Chaps came on his ceiling.

Speaker 2 I was like, I missed a whole story last night.

Speaker 7 Well, I was 3chi goofing

Speaker 7 one night and decided to, I was scrolling through TikTok. And you know, they constantly have those ads for those galaxy machines that don't make put like galaxies up on your wall or on your ceiling.

Speaker 7 And so I thought, that would be awesome in my office when I'm watching football or something at night. I ordered it.
It came. And immediately it looked like there was a cum blacklight on my ceiling.

Speaker 7 Like I looked up. I was like, it looks like I.
I blew a load all over my ceiling, which at seven and a half feet ceilings. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Quite a lot of idiots and pineapple. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But you did. You didn't.

Speaker 7 Did not come.

Speaker 2 Stalactites. But it did.
Not come.

Speaker 1 I was reporting that you did. You have come ceilings.

Speaker 7 Well, I appreciate that because people like it when a girthy nut. They do in general.

Speaker 1 Jimmy Carter, mostly. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Huge.

Speaker 7 Mashed potatoes. Oh, God.

Speaker 1 All right, let's do the roast.

Speaker 1 All right, here we go. Roast.
Listener roast. Thank you, listeners, for roasting us.

Speaker 7 First up, PFT looks like a guy that sells LSD at Coachella and says, quote, no worries a lot.

Speaker 2 Those are two great compliments I just got right there. Thank you.

Speaker 7 You are no worries, guys.

Speaker 1 No worries. No worries.
No worries is great.

Speaker 2 You put people at ease.

Speaker 7 Billy looks like Deputy Dewey from the original Scream movie. The only difference is Deputy Dewey actually served his country.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 good one. Yup.
Give it up for Chicago.

Speaker 9 Sebastian Meniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is coming to Hulu on November 21st.

Speaker 4 30 years ago, Jeff Bezos?

Speaker 1 Bezos, complete nerd. Bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht and the boxes keep

Speaker 1 coming.

Speaker 9 Sebastian Manascalco, It Ain't Right, premieres November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.

Speaker 7 A fake sharp, a typical JMU frat boy looking for an excuse to get a haircut, an easily triggered fake Boston crybaby, a man-child who gets turned on by high school football players, players, and Jake.

Speaker 7 Chris Farley giggles.

Speaker 1 That was mean, the fake sharp.

Speaker 1 I don't think I'm a fake sharp.

Speaker 1 This one continues. Oh, it's

Speaker 1 sad.

Speaker 7 Chris Farley giggle their way through interviews, but for some reason, we award winning listeners listen three times a week.

Speaker 6 We love you guys.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. What a suck up at the end.

Speaker 2 I don't think that that's fair to call Big Cat a fake sharp. He's, if anything, you're, you're a fake square.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Would somebody that was

Speaker 1 a terrible, terrible, terrible gambler?

Speaker 7 What? Would somebody that was a fake sharp be able to have something called the can't lose parlay?

Speaker 2 Good question. I think so.
Good question.

Speaker 1 Would someone who's a fake sharp also be as open about their losing? I'm not like Vegas Dave, who, by the way,

Speaker 1 I still, I just got to tip my hat to him because Vegas Dave, when he does, when he loses his like 100-unit whale play,

Speaker 1 then he'll release and be like, I actually, that was the opposite play because I knew that some of you were sharing my plays. So the hundred-unit loser was actually a winner.
Who's Davis Dave?

Speaker 1 Davis Dave. He's the guy who always likes, how do I always win? Remember, he like sits courtside of the Lakers.

Speaker 2 No idea.

Speaker 1 You know who he is, Hank. You know who he is.

Speaker 2 It sounds like I'm glad that I know that you know who he is.

Speaker 1 But he'll do that.

Speaker 1 He dated the golfer. Yeah, yeah, the Holly Sawyers.

Speaker 7 Didn't they have like a big to-do?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 He'll lose a hundred-unit play, like quadruple your max, you know, your bet worth or whatever.

Speaker 1 He'll lose that, and then it'll be like, that was actually a prank because so many of you were releasing my plays.

Speaker 1 That was to get you off the trail of the real winner, which was the opposite of the loser.

Speaker 2 Got it. Genius.
Also, I don't think that I'm a frat. I'm not a frack guy.
I played rugby. It's a completely different thing.
Totally different.

Speaker 1 Totally different.

Speaker 7 I have a question for you guys. Have you came out as the first major sports podcast to be pro-UTSA in the college football playoffs?

Speaker 2 Sure.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 No, absolutely. Meet meet.
Is it beepbeep or meet me?

Speaker 1 It's meat meat. Meet me, meat.

Speaker 2 Oh, that's right. Michelle Beadle went to UTSA.
She's probably their most famous alumni, right?

Speaker 7 And Travis Scott.

Speaker 1 I've ranked them very high many weeks. Top 10.

Speaker 7 And there's some other dude that they have on the Wikipedia page for famous alums that was like a, he was like a newscaster and

Speaker 7 Emarillo.

Speaker 1 Okay, that works.

Speaker 7 But I'm not on that.

Speaker 1 I've had them top 10 multiple weeks.

Speaker 7 I've emailed the...

Speaker 7 the vice president of the school and be like, can I get on this Wikipedia page? They're like, no.

Speaker 2 That's a little thirsty, chaps.

Speaker 1 Well, I want to be on them now.

Speaker 1 So do you think they might make the college football playoff?

Speaker 1 If they beat El Paso,

Speaker 1 I think it's a rivalry game.

Speaker 1 Huge.

Speaker 7 Huge. The minors.
If you're going out to El Paso to face the minors, you better pack a fucking sack lunch.

Speaker 1 Do they still play in Almond? You're in for an all-night country-ass whooping. Do they play in the Almodome? Yeah.
That is the worst place in the world to watch a basketball game. Or football.

Speaker 1 Football.

Speaker 1 I was giving it to you. Giving it credit maybe to beat football, but man, was it bad when we went for that basketball?

Speaker 2 Is it still the guy from Miami that's your coach?

Speaker 1 No, that was Larry Coker.

Speaker 1 The national championship trailer LS.

Speaker 1 National Championship. San Antonio, great to go to for the Final Four.
The actual

Speaker 1 venue.

Speaker 1 I think we were in the first section, the lower bowl, and we were in row like 78.

Speaker 7 You can't see anything.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we were so

Speaker 1 far back.

Speaker 2 The only thing I know about UTSA is the saying that you can't spell nutsack without UTSA. Nice.
And that makes me love it. Yeah.

Speaker 7 It's a good saying. But you have to be proactive.
You have to like papa dot that.

Speaker 7 you have to really be rabbit them there because if you go out and you say we're gonna draw our or we're gonna drag our nutsack across your face and you capitalize the UTSA in it, then you own it back.

Speaker 1 You take it back. Get on private.
Control the narratives. I like that.

Speaker 7 Then they can't be like, oh, you can't spell nutsack.

Speaker 7 I already said that to you.

Speaker 2 But that's also not an insult to tell me that I can't spell nutsack without UTSA.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because nutsacks are valuable.

Speaker 2 They're vital to human beings.

Speaker 1 Well, let's, yeah, I mean, let's hope if Nana's not in heaven,

Speaker 1 you won't have them.

Speaker 7 so you made that deal. The only way I would know is if I went to hell, so then I have to go to hell and get my head.

Speaker 1 If she's sitting there at hell, when you show up, well, well, well,

Speaker 1 look who it is. You shouldn't have put your nuts in the bottom of the battle.
I guess you were being a bad boy.

Speaker 7 A homeless lady, a diabetic round mound of donuts, a homely-looking 28-year-old with the athleticism of a beech wood.

Speaker 7 A fat former D3 college football player.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 He's not fat.

Speaker 2 He's just chubby.

Speaker 1 Yeah. He will be fat at all.
He will be fat. He was fat.
You were? Belly. He had belly football days.

Speaker 7 And Bubba that tried to coherently put together sentences on a three-day week basis.

Speaker 1 Ooh.

Speaker 7 Okay.

Speaker 7 The court-cutting sellouts, a chinless 28-year-old, fake Steve Irwin obsessed with high school football and a man with decent suits talk about football, college, our coffee, and the incompetence of the Bears and the Washington football team.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah.
By the way, Jake's suits are not cheap. Yeah, no, they're not.
I hooked Jake.

Speaker 2 How much was it? $1,000 worth of suits?

Speaker 1 $1,000 worth of suits?

Speaker 2 Jake weighs premium suits.

Speaker 1 Endocino?

Speaker 2 Full suits, plus some extra ties. Okay.
Yeah. We're on a shopping spree.
Huge.

Speaker 1 Was it Endo Chino or no? Yeah. Sure.

Speaker 7 PFT looks like a guy who never does his laundry, even though his shirts fit like they all shrink in the wash.

Speaker 1 That's good, man. That's hurt.

Speaker 1 This one's good too.

Speaker 7 Big Cat wears jeans to the sauna.

Speaker 1 Oh, that hurts.

Speaker 2 Wait, is that an insult?

Speaker 1 I think so. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I've worn jeans in the sauna. Well, no, because I don't wear shorts, yeah.
Ever? I do. When it's hot, really, really hot.
When's the last?

Speaker 7 I don't think I've ever seen you in shorts.

Speaker 1 Yeah. When it's really, really hot.
When it's like over 90, I'll put on some shorts.

Speaker 2 Now that I think about it, yeah,

Speaker 1 you don't wear shorts. I feel foolish when I'm walking around.

Speaker 1 I'll wear shorts like by the beach. Shorts.
Man, by the pool?

Speaker 7 You're going to be...

Speaker 7 Give it another five or six years. That's going to be peak dad.
Because you're going to be showing up to the beach in jeans. Yeah.
Oh, man, what a dad. No, I would never do that.

Speaker 1 I just don't like going to work in shorts.

Speaker 7 Okay. PFT is the kind of thing

Speaker 7 when you get pre-come, gets there first. If Hank were a spice, he'd be a flower.

Speaker 1 Big Cat. I don't get any of this.

Speaker 7 He'd be a flower, like if he was Spice.

Speaker 1 You got to remember, Chaps doesn't really know how to read.

Speaker 2 Yeah, what is a pre-com post? Could you hear that?

Speaker 4 Because you don't have headphones on. You're not real pre-come.
You're not real cum. You're just pre-cum.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you're the pre-come of a person.

Speaker 1 watered down cum.

Speaker 2 Okay, got it, got it.

Speaker 7 Big cat looks like he vapes, but also uses an inhaler. That's me.

Speaker 7 I like to use an inhaler before I have sex.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 7 It gets everything really opened up so you can breathe good.

Speaker 7 I'd rather eat a pine cone than hang out with Billy Football.

Speaker 7 You're a nice guy. I don't understand why people are so mean.

Speaker 1 I like Billy. He's a pathological liar.
Oh. Is that true?

Speaker 1 Live or big cat. See that?

Speaker 1 He just said no.

Speaker 7 It would be fun to pick the lice out of PFT's hair and hide them under a big cat's B-cup tits when he sits down.

Speaker 1 They're C. They're probably C.

Speaker 7 Also, it would make a lot of sense to shave Billy's rhino horn and use the extra bone for Hank's beta chin.

Speaker 7 I hope Jake is having a nice day.

Speaker 1 Damn.

Speaker 1 That was a clean sweep. That one was well done.

Speaker 6 That was very good.

Speaker 7 PFT, you look like an inbred version of Chewbacca.

Speaker 7 If I had a dollar for every donut that Big Cat ate, I would be able to buy PFT a new cardboard box to live in.

Speaker 7 PMT, three guys from your hometown coming back after a year of college thinking they've lived a really full life because of their hair, mustache, and weed give them too much attention to the human version of AIM Smarter Child

Speaker 7 and someone who would be eliminated the first week of every season of the challenge while the one who is worth listening to never gets to speak.

Speaker 1 Oh, damn. Who's that? I think Jake.
Bubba? Bubba? Oh, wow. Oh, damn.

Speaker 2 We got Bubba stand out there.

Speaker 1 Bubba standing out. Shout out.

Speaker 7 Thick cat looks like he'll

Speaker 7 refinance your mortgage for a nice rate, but get too flirty with your wife during the process.

Speaker 1 I can see that. Okay.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That just

Speaker 7 means if you didn't do this, you would be something very creepy and horny.

Speaker 1 A lot. I have low T.

Speaker 7 Do you? Yeah. And you'd compensate that for that at the used car lot.

Speaker 1 Yeah, sure. Exactly.
Exactly. For sure.
I'd probably be taking some kind kind of weird. You see the game this weekend? That game this weekend.

Speaker 2 There was a guy that I worked with when I sold used cars. He wore a gun to work.
Oh, he just like open carried a pistol with him. That's business.
Just patrolling the lot.

Speaker 7 That's business. You got to let him know.

Speaker 2 It was great.

Speaker 7 It was honestly. It was any funny business.

Speaker 1 Keep talking a little bit.

Speaker 2 I would buy a car from that guy or else he'd shoot me. Try walking away from a negotiation with that guy.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 7 And I hate it when they put like, oh, well, we're going to put a number down. We want to sign this.
Take it to the... If that guy has a gun, you sign whatever he's got.

Speaker 1 Exactly.

Speaker 7 I'll take that right now.

Speaker 7 Chaps looks like the guy you meet at a party who tells you about how he's been brewing craft beer in his basement for 10 straight minutes, and all you asked him was where the bathroom was.

Speaker 2 That's mean, but yeah, you do give off a rotto vibe, Colorado vibe. Oh, yeah, you're in.

Speaker 7 Colorado was my number one state in the power rankings that I recently did.

Speaker 1 What were the, what was two, three?

Speaker 7 Well, I only did two, um, but it was that makes sense. It was Colorado and then Tennessee.

Speaker 1 Nice.

Speaker 2 You put Colorado one over Tennessee. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Interesting. I have to agree with that.

Speaker 7 And one one, because I went with Ultimate State College just based on uniforms. I look terrible in orange.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Thought I would go with gold.
Yeah, black. Yeah, Colorado black.

Speaker 7 But black, I got to be careful. I don't want that to be the primary color because I got like beard dandruff and stuff.

Speaker 1 Oh, gross. You know who could fix that? Who? Lil Boris?

Speaker 1 Probably. He could cream you.
You won't be a cream?

Speaker 1 You'd have no beard dandruff. All right, is that it? That's it.
Oh, man. Always great to have you on, Chaps.
We love you. We miss you.
When are you coming back?

Speaker 1 Hard to say. Okay.
How long are you here for?

Speaker 7 Saturday.

Speaker 1 Whoa. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm busy the rest of the week, bro. Me too.
Super busy.

Speaker 2 What's next for you?

Speaker 1 Content what's going on? What's next?

Speaker 7 Oh, so I'm going to be

Speaker 7 bringing back Longtie Toolies. I finally cleaned up my shed where I can build stuff again.
I'm redoing my fire pit.

Speaker 7 I'm going to be banking my fire pit and smoking a big old turkey to teach people how to do it for Thanksgiving. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 4 Yes. Chaps also had an electric performance inside Toolstream Stadium earlier.

Speaker 1 What did you do?

Speaker 4 Comes out on Thursday.

Speaker 1 Rock, paper, shoot, shoot. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 I heard that something statistically impossible happened in this matchup.

Speaker 7 You want to do it right now? Just one. All right.

Speaker 1 One, two, three, two.

Speaker 1 One, two, three, two.

Speaker 1 One, two, three.

Speaker 1 Damn.

Speaker 2 Got him. Big cat after two ties.
Got him.

Speaker 4 It's the win with the paper.

Speaker 7 I was thrown off because this time I could actually see him. I like the table to keep things under wraps.

Speaker 2 Chaps, what temperature is your pool?

Speaker 1 Right now? Yeah.

Speaker 1 88.

Speaker 1 Ready to roll.

Speaker 7 i now i never knew how much of a stunt that was that is such an unbelievable monetary flex yeah yeah i only because in march or april was april and it's 85 degrees in april in san antonio i put my pool at 78 degrees i got the gas bill back it was like 550 for one month him 88 degrees That shit must be like $1,500.

Speaker 1 $5,000 a month.

Speaker 2 That's the source, man. It's Stu Fonner.
Goodness gracious.

Speaker 1 Chaps, you want to guess numbers with us? Yes, welcome to the show.

Speaker 1 Yeah. 97.
92.

Speaker 7 74.

Speaker 1 91. 74.

Speaker 1 69. 38 out of play.

Speaker 1 What was your guess, Chap?

Speaker 7 Thank you, Jake. I got 74.

Speaker 1 74.

Speaker 1 14.

Speaker 1 First timer. First timer.
Torigami. Wow.
All right. How many we got left? 10.
14. 14 left after getting 14? Yeah, look at that.
Isn't that wild? Wow. That is wild.
Holy shit. All right.
Thanks, chaps.

Speaker 1 Love you. Love you too.
Love you guys.

Speaker 1 The only competent intern on part of my take is a giant fucking alpha and his name is Jay. Jacks hitting score gummies, his hobbies are.
Man, splanding college basketball to girls involved.

Speaker 1 office. Kick the shit out of Liam if the Lunder doesn't hit him.

Speaker 1 Doesn't fucking swear, he's a big J silly. Hey, Jake, said a reminder to alpha the fuck out of Billy.

Speaker 1 Jake

Speaker 1 me.

Speaker 1 Jake

Speaker 1 me.

Speaker 1 Jake

Speaker 1 me.

Speaker 1 He's the fucking best

Speaker 1 in the office.

Speaker 1 be the best one here.

Speaker 1 I am the right one here.