Metta World Sandiford (Ron Artest), Usain Bolt, Week 8 Preview, And A Wild TNF

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Speed slow under 35 gigabytes.

Speaker 1 On today's part of my take, we have a two-fer for the people. We have an awesome interview with MetaWorld Sandford, also known as Ron Art Test, also known as MetaWorld Peace.

Speaker 3 I really wish that we had gotten to talk to him today after the Facebook rebrand. Yeah.
Get some tips for old Zuck. Yes.

Speaker 1 We have Usain Bolt. We have

Speaker 1 week eight preview and picks. Fire Fest of the Week.
A great Friday show sending you into the weekend.

Speaker 3 We actually have another special guest in the studio right now.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, I was going to wait till we started the show and I was going to bring him up. Whitey's here.

Speaker 1 Billy's dog. He's now underneath me.
He's now climbing underneath me.

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Boy!

Speaker 1 Now in the street, there is violence,

Speaker 1 and then I like to save the work to be done.

Speaker 1 No place to hang out or washing,

Speaker 1 and then I can game all on the sun. Oh no, we're gonna rock it down to Electric High Venue,

Speaker 1 and then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna rock it down to Electric IV.

Speaker 5 It's part of my take, presented by Barstool Sports.

Speaker 1 Welcome to Part of My Take, presented by Cross Country Mortgage. Go right now to crosscountrymortgage.com/slash barstool.
Today is Friday,

Speaker 1 October 29th, and I hate Aaron Rodgers so goddamn much. What a Thursday night football game.

Speaker 1 AJ Green with the run block of the year when it was clearly a pass, and the last undefeated team is no more.

Speaker 1 Pop that champagne, Mercury Morris and Frank the tank. The 72 Dolphins keep it intact.
The Cardinals go to 7-1 also.

Speaker 1 So I was thinking about this. I was very upset.
I hate Aaron Rodgers. The Packers find a way to win these games.
But then I got a little bit of a smile across my face because Whitey,

Speaker 1 Billy's dog, is here. Looks like he's about to take a piss.

Speaker 3 He has roughly the same attention span as Billy, and he breathes.

Speaker 3 If you were to slow down his breath and play it at like half half speed I'm pretty sure it sounds like Hank yawning yes yes so but here's the thing I so I'm mad because I hate the Packers and they that was

Speaker 1 whatever that game was bullshit the way it ended I was laughing though because while Whitey was running around the hallways, Hank was on his skateboard and I just heard Billy scream to Hank, yo, Hank, Whitey might actually be able to skateboard.

Speaker 1 Dude,

Speaker 3 it actually makes sense when Billy's.

Speaker 1 Bulldogs never been on a skateboard.

Speaker 3 Bulldogs know how to skateboard. It's like Newfoundlands just know how to swim through ice.
I think Bulldogs, they just, you put a board in front of them and they're gnarly.

Speaker 1 But he's not a full bulldog.

Speaker 3 What is he?

Speaker 1 American Bulldog. Okay, he's an American Bulldog.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but he, but, like, I think you have to actually practice once with your dog before it's like...

Speaker 3 They just know.

Speaker 1 He's like, yo, Hank, he could probably skateboard.

Speaker 1 There was a moment where he said that, and I kind of tossed the skateboard towards Whitey thinking we were about to unleash something viral, and Whitey just ran away scared.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it would be sick to actually train your dog to skateboard. They don't just

Speaker 1 a million. But I do think.
Robin Deerdick. Right.
There was a Robin Bay. No, no, no, no, no.
I'm not saying.

Speaker 1 Let's just get this straight. I'm not saying dogs can't skateboard.
I've seen many dogs skateboard. I think you have to actually work with your dog to learn how to skateboard.
Billy was just like,

Speaker 1 I think he could skateboard. I love this dog.

Speaker 3 I love having a dog in studio. Apologies to Jake, who did take a Zyrtec tonight.
Oh, you'll see it. In case you get all

Speaker 1 so good. Damn.
Yeah. This is Billy's revenge for the David Buffers video.

Speaker 6 There was a movie, MXP, Most Extreme Primate, and it's the snowboarding chimpanzee.

Speaker 3 Don't mansplain MXP to me.

Speaker 1 I know all about it.

Speaker 3 If there's a movie that's been made about an animal that can do stuff a human does, I've already seen it

Speaker 1 three times. What's in that?

Speaker 3 Do you have a box of chili? Yeah,

Speaker 3 I got a box of chicken parm that I made last night.

Speaker 1 Okay, good.

Speaker 1 There was a chance that maybe that had been there for a while.

Speaker 3 No, no, I brought it in today.

Speaker 1 That was my lunch then. That's been there for a while.

Speaker 3 No, it's fine. Whitey's safe.
But yeah, back to the game. I think that

Speaker 3 I'm glad that the Packers won tonight. And I'm not saying that to get under your skin.
I'm saying that as someone who bet on the Cardinals to even cover the spread.

Speaker 3 I just think I'm glad knowing that Mercury Morris is able to get drunk in peace tonight. Yes.
And I didn't want him to have to suffer throughout the year without having a sip of alcohol.

Speaker 3 Although I'm pretty sure that he probably just pops a bottle of champagne every Sunday. Yes.

Speaker 3 Just hoping.

Speaker 1 It was bullshit, though, because DeAndre Hopkins got injured, and no game should count if your wide receiver one is out. So I think that's a bullshit win for the Packers.

Speaker 3 But he did have the best play of the night, though.

Speaker 3 DeAndre Hopkins, he did something I've never seen on a football field before, which is a wide receiver continuing to run a route as the ball is in the air.

Speaker 3 He like faked going for the back shoulder catch with both his body and his hands, and it worked like a charm. It was incredible.

Speaker 3 He happened to just stiff arm the wide receiver and get his face matched and dragged him into the end zone with him, which is one of those plays where it was cool enough that it just should have counted.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but it was a crazy, it was a very good performance for the Packers. They obviously were missing some guys and they found a way.
I just, it's one of those things that I,

Speaker 1 I actually would have this take even if it weren't the Packers.

Speaker 1 I know people will say you're being biased, but there didn't feel like it was like an unfulfilling ending because it was building up to something huge. And it's like, oh, shit.
I wanted it overtime.

Speaker 1 Here's what I wanted out of that guy. I know it was.

Speaker 3 I wanted overtime. I wanted a missed field goal in an overtime.
It felt like one of those games that was going to keep going back and forth, back and forth.

Speaker 1 Right, free for the ball.

Speaker 3 The Packers didn't use A.J. Dillon.

Speaker 3 I'm very confused about the Packers' offense because they get inside the five-yard line and then they just forget how to run the ball, even though they were just smashing face masks all night, getting like eight yards a clip when it felt like just at will.

Speaker 3 When they wanted to get it, they could get it. You've got a guy that weighs like 250 pounds with quads the size of Redwoods.
What do they call it?

Speaker 1 Right? Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah. So you have Quadzilla in your backfield.
Just let him get you one yard.

Speaker 1 And the Packers probably did score on that touchdown. I don't know.
That was a very bizarre, like, they didn't really review it. They did, but didn't.
That was a weird.

Speaker 1 There was a couple of plays at the end where the rest were just like, fuck it. We're just going to keep playing.
Yeah. Like the first down the Cardinals got in the red zone with like 15 seconds left.

Speaker 1 That wasn't a first down. And they're like, nah, fuck it.

Speaker 3 Let's just keep going. Yeah, so the story out of Glendale tonight, I think, is that Kyler Murray is soft.
He's a soft football player. I haven't heard anybody drop the S-bomb on him.

Speaker 3 I think he gets a lot of leniency because he's a short king. And I actually just think that he's a little bit soft.

Speaker 1 He did get rolled up on pretty badly that last tackle.

Speaker 3 But there were a couple times when he could have gotten an extra yard that was actually meaningful.

Speaker 3 It usually doesn't make a difference if like a quarterback is scrambling, you get six yards on first down or seven yards on the first down.

Speaker 3 But he's like going out of bounds before he gets the first down on the final drive. He's diving really early.
And I know that he's got like a small frame, so he gets lit up a lot.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I was going to say, I have a hard time calling anyone soft who's his size playing against guys twice his size

Speaker 3 i've that's my job yeah is to just be a complete and total hypocrite and dickhead so i have no problem doing that i feel like i can say it about him because i'm yeah i'm short um the other news out of uh the other story out of glendale uh

Speaker 1 i don't know if you guys heard this but j watt out for the season very sad but also at least we had adam shafter and ian rapport uh i don't know how they got all the details about this, but a true superhuman.

Speaker 1 Are Schefter and Rappaport just the Watt brothers agents? Because we had the TJ Watt. Remember, TJ Watt said, I got to go to work right after he signed his contract.
And

Speaker 1 he went right into the weight room. This one, we had

Speaker 1 so Schefter was like Cardinals

Speaker 1 defensive end. J.J.
Watt will undergo surgery, what is now likely season-ending surgery.

Speaker 1 Watt hurt his shoulder in the second quarter Sunday and still managed to play the rest of the game with the injury. And I was like, what? Okay,

Speaker 1 I don't think he did play the rest of the game, but still, like, okay, that probably was a stupid move, but yeah, we'll frame it that way.

Speaker 3 And he kept getting it injured.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and then

Speaker 1 Rappaport had multiple tweets where he was like, what will keep JJ Watt down? Well, how about this? Hold on, I'm going to find the actual one. How serious does an injury have to be to sideline J.J.

Speaker 1 Watt? Sources say he actually tore his labrum, his bicep, and his rotator cuff, and dislocated his shoulder.

Speaker 1 Watt was playing some of his best football and helped to change a culture for the undefeated Arizona team. Okay,

Speaker 3 as a survivor of that exact injury, that's all one injury. That's when you dislocate your shoulder and it pops back into place.

Speaker 3 You tear your rotator cuff, your labrum, you can damage the bicep, you can break, like that's what Baker has. You can break the top of your arm.
That's all one. But that's a great tweet.

Speaker 3 I love what those guys are doing for the Watt family. Yeah, they're just making sure everyone knows.
But I've got a personal attack.

Speaker 3 It seems like, actually, you know, it's not a personal attack. This is a tweet from Adam Schefter.
Hank, you will definitely appreciate this.

Speaker 3 It's the picture of Aaron Rodgers, of him after he took that, after he got hit on that roughing the pass apparently on the touchdown pass.

Speaker 3 And Adam Schefter just tweeted out, it's okay being the weak-chinned, no-ass guy.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 3 Yeah, I don't get it. It just seems like, I don't know, shout out Hank Lockwood.

Speaker 1 Damn.

Speaker 1 What was that? He got chirped by. Oh, that was mean, Torch Hank.
He got chirped by MacVeigh. Got it.
Oh, okay. Got it.
So that was his response? I guess so.

Speaker 3 But

Speaker 3 I have a take about Aaron Rodgers and his helmet. I think that his greasy hair makes it slide off more easily.

Speaker 1 No, he got chirped. No, no, no.
He got chirped by Rogers on McVeigh's show. So

Speaker 1 that was a direct response of what Rogers said to him. Got it.
That's what it was. Rogers doesn't, he never puts his helmet on correctly.
So I don't feel bad.

Speaker 3 I think it's the grease hair.

Speaker 1 He just doesn't put his helmet. He doesn't snap it correctly.
He's so,

Speaker 1 what is the word? Laissez-faire faire

Speaker 1 about all of his equipment

Speaker 1 and whole demeanor.

Speaker 3 I think we need to do our last guesses on what his big Halloween costume is going to be because he says that that's why he keeps growing out his hair and his facial hair.

Speaker 3 I'm actually rescinding my previous take that he's going as young Michael Scott from the office. I think he's going to either be Joe Dirt or he's going to be Happy Gilmore's Caddy.

Speaker 1 I think Jon Snow. Jon Snow, I like that.
That's actually perfect because a couple years late, he'll think it's cool. Fuck that.
Yeah. Jon Snow.
I like that. hank billy

Speaker 1 john wick john wick you just you just went john to john i i feel like that's

Speaker 3 actually not a bad call either though yeah but it's not enough irony for him i don't think i don't know he might just be like this guy's badass yeah

Speaker 1 he also might just not be anything and be like you know what i mean like put on a denim jacket and be like i'm just cool aaron rogers yeah go ahead somewhere aaron rogers i could see aaron rod actually j watt i could see getting dressed up as a young kid getting dressed up as jj watt i don't know if you do you really think that he's going to get dressed up?

Speaker 1 Do I have to read to you his injury again? He can have somebody else. No, he's going to go as an injured J.J.
Watt. I don't.

Speaker 1 He must not have been listening, but J.J. Watt, the J.J.
Watt,

Speaker 1 he actually

Speaker 1 tore his labrum, his bicep, and his rotator cuff and dislocated his shoulder.

Speaker 1 And then played the

Speaker 3 end got dressed up potentially for Halloween.

Speaker 1 By the way, and I'm not making fun of J.J. Watt's injury.
It does suck very badly for him. And he was having a good year with the undefeated team.

Speaker 1 It's making fun of Rappaport and Schefter, who have to, like, by law, they have to make sure that anytime a Watt gets injured or does anything, they make it as badass as possible.

Speaker 3 Yeah, thank you for your service, Watt family.

Speaker 3 We really appreciate it.

Speaker 1 Please make sure the liner notes list every single injury and that he played several more plays.

Speaker 3 Well, one of Roger Goodell's many jobs that he has to do that earns him a nice, neat salary of $128 million over the course of two years is he acts like he is the United States military in saving Private Ryan.

Speaker 3 So if you have two Watt brothers that get hurt, Roger Goodell parachutes in and just flies away with the last one like the fan man.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Derek Watt will be saved if TJ goes down.

Speaker 3 I noticed tonight that

Speaker 1 Kyler,

Speaker 3 I feel like he got taller in the second half.

Speaker 1 Well, he got taller with the color rush.

Speaker 3 He was short, I think, in the first half when he was wearing the yellow shoes, and then he changed the white shoes, which gave you an optical, it adds like two inches.

Speaker 1 And it's also way faster.

Speaker 1 White shoes are always always faster definitely always uh but yeah great thursday night football game feels like this is setting up for a great weekend of football and we needed this we needed this we we needed this as america to have a football game like that it was fantastic even though i'm very upset that the packers won and you know what i mean the packers are fucking for real and the nfc is fucking loaded like it's crazy now because i when you think about who can win the super bowl yeah i mean you throw in the bills the Bengals are playing great.

Speaker 1 The Raiders are playing well, the Ravens, but like all those teams, you're looking at them and you're like, ah, but

Speaker 1 I think you feel pretty solid about the Packers, the Bucs, the Rams, and the Cardinals, and the Cowboys. The Cowboys, too.
Like, those are five really fucking good teams all in the NFC.

Speaker 3 I also think that the Seahawks obviously aren't going to be a factor in it when it gets down to it. But if Russell Wilson hadn't gotten injured, I would say that the Seahawks are in the mix.

Speaker 3 Their team, they're a make-some-noise team. They could get in the playoffs and win a game.

Speaker 1 I think they'll be, Russell Wilson will come back and they'll ruin someone's season. They will not make the playoffs with Geno Smith.

Speaker 3 Not with Geno, but with Russ, they definitely will. And he'll be in game shape.
Somebody's going to get really pissed off about having to go to Seattle at the end of December.

Speaker 1 They'll be in game shape because,

Speaker 1 you know, he's been doing those practices that keep getting spied on by the national television cameras.

Speaker 3 I also think that tonight we got our first real dose of is Thursday Night Football bad for BNFL. I mean, a lot of injuries tonight.

Speaker 3 They played that slow Fox injury music on repeat tonight.

Speaker 3 I think it actually got played more than the real Fox music.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 I always appreciate those tweets from the national media who gets paid to cover the NFL and gets paid well to cover the NFL because the NFL is a monster being like so gluttonous of the NFL to play Thursday night football all these injuries.

Speaker 1 Well, I mean, if the NFL could get away with it, they'd play a game every single night.

Speaker 3 I would love that. Can't figure that out.
And we would watch it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, of course we'd watch it.

Speaker 3 But I would also be like, this is fucked up yeah that they're making these players play on tuesday night meanwhile i'm watching every second of them yeah i mean we're getting close to the time of season where we start blaming the 18 uh game schedule or the 17 game schedule the 18 week season what's that going to be like in the last week yeah in week 17 if there are injuries like this never would have happened wouldn't have happened there wouldn't have been any more football um okay we'll get to some more stuff first we got a word from our sponsor Man, I'll tell you what.

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Speaker 6 That's a winning play.

Speaker 1 Before we get to our weekend preview, let's talk a little baseball. I am pre-sad for the city of Atlanta.

Speaker 3 Why are you already pre-sad? You don't have to do that just yet.

Speaker 1 Because Charlie Morton breaking his leg, and that happened Wednesday night after we, you know, we don't have a show Thursday.

Speaker 1 Charlie Morton breaking his leg, unbelievable performance, the fact that he kept pitching. What was it? 16 pitches he had after that.

Speaker 1 It's going to be very tough for the Braves to win this World Series without their number one,

Speaker 1 and that sucks.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but on the other hand, we have the biggest wild card of all that could come up, and that's our good friend Uncle Chaps is coming up to New York next week. He has a full beard.

Speaker 3 The Astros might find themselves in a position to clinch a World Series game, in which case, Chaps is going to have to get creamed by Boris. Oh, yeah, yeah.
He's going to have to shave that beard.

Speaker 1 When is he coming?

Speaker 3 I think he's coming Monday.

Speaker 1 Okay, so the series might be. I'm full sad.
I'm pretty sad, full sad for the Braves. I do not think the Braves are going to be able to survive without Charlie Morton.

Speaker 3 I think it's going to go six at least.

Speaker 1 But if the Astros went in six, that's still full sad.

Speaker 3 It's still full sad.

Speaker 1 You're still bearing them. It's 1-1.
I'm not bearing them. I just know, like, if you're a Braves fan, you can't feel great about the fact.
Like, if I had said 1-1, you'd be like, that's awesome.

Speaker 1 We got one in Houston. Oh, yeah.
But your ace is out. Yikes, especially in a World Series where it's like, you know, you can toss the ace in

Speaker 3 a later game.

Speaker 1 You always go ace, like, all right.

Speaker 1 When you map out a World Series, you're like, all right, one, game one, game four, and maybe some game seven.

Speaker 3 Yeah, they might get in game seven.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. You always have to do that game in your head where that's how you plan out the World Series.

Speaker 1 And now with Charlie Morton, unless he can maybe can, how long, Billy, you're a doctor, how long can

Speaker 1 it take to fix a broken leg?

Speaker 3 Well, it was a fractured fibula, which is a non-weight-bearing bone. Okay.
So I don't think it's going to be as long as like

Speaker 1 three days.

Speaker 3 If this series goes six weeks, he could be back.

Speaker 3 You never know.

Speaker 1 What about the raids in the Phillies?

Speaker 3 Well, if there's rain delays.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right.

Speaker 3 If we're a week off. Sorry, no offense, Hank.
Cover your ears. If there's bad weather and the games get delayed, then yes, he could come back.
It's a non-weight-bearing bone.

Speaker 1 Did you lose on the under on game two because of the tornado? No, but I have some. I have a weather update.
It was. Weather gods have been.
It was so perfect that we've

Speaker 1 been listening. We've been heavy on the weather on this show, and then all of a sudden there's a tornado warning in Houston before game two.
It's like, well, that's real weather.

Speaker 3 Yeah, tornadoes is real wind. Yeah.
So, yeah, non-weight bearing.

Speaker 3 I mean, he could try to pitch on it. It just hurts.
That's the thing. I've had a broken fibula before.

Speaker 1 So just figure it out. It just hurts.
Just tape it up. Yeah, just work through it.

Speaker 3 I don't know. Soccer player would tape it up.

Speaker 1 I'm sad, though.

Speaker 1 Maybe the Braves will stun us. Still, big cat.
Don't go full sad. You know what? I won't go full sad.
Bloopy's got a way to

Speaker 1 rally the troops. The braves will shock the world.

Speaker 1 You sneak a win in. You're halfway there.
That's true.

Speaker 1 They got to win in.

Speaker 3 All they got to do, they got to steal one. All they got to do is steal.
If they can steal one with a bullpen game, I think the Braves can win this World Series.

Speaker 1 If they can steal one, then they sneak one in, then they just got to win an elimination game. That's not anything can happen.
Anything can happen. It's not that hard.

Speaker 3 They just need a couple breaks to go their way.

Speaker 1 I just hate the Astros. They just, they're so good.
They are just so good. I don't know.

Speaker 1 Illegal. It is literally.
It's illegal how good they are.

Speaker 3 It does seem like it shouldn't be physically possible for Jose El Tuve to go yard.

Speaker 3 It just, it always looks so weird like he's one of those little kids in backyard baseball up to to bet and then he crushes the ball 380 Pablo Sanchez. Yeah, he's Pablo Sanchez.
It's unfortunate.

Speaker 1 But it's like it's almost it I get what you're saying, but I also every time I watch him hit a home run, I'm like, it does make sense because he's like so compact and it's like he attacks the ball.

Speaker 1 His whole body like throwed at the

Speaker 1 draw. Yeah, similar where it's like if you everything that you throw to Altuve is is like chest high because he doesn't have a strike zone.
So he just basically jumps at the ball and it goes out.

Speaker 3 He knows where the ball is going to be because it's such a small amount of space, such a small amount of airspace that the ball has to hit for it to be a strike.

Speaker 3 There was at one point a little person, an actual little person or dwarf, who was in Major League Baseball. And he wore number like one eighth.

Speaker 1 One eighth, yeah.

Speaker 3 So it was a fraction number. And then the commissioner of baseball said, we can't have any more little people because their strikes are too small.
Eddie,

Speaker 1 was it Eddie? It might have been the Cardinals.

Speaker 3 That sounds like discrimination to me.

Speaker 1 Eddie for the Cardinals?

Speaker 3 Why can't you get a little person up to bat?

Speaker 1 Eddie Cardinals, little person. Eddie Gadle.
There we go. Uh-huh.
Cardinals.

Speaker 6 1925 to 1961.

Speaker 3 Cardinals? Where he played for 40 years?

Speaker 1 No, that was his death.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I know. Unfortunate.
R.I.P. Eddie.

Speaker 1 Browns. Right.
Louis Browns. Close enough.
He had one plate appearance.

Speaker 6 Also, PFT, you got to be careful with the word bullpen. PETA's trying to change it to the Arm Barn.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm actually okay with that.

Speaker 3 I think that the Arm Barn is a much cooler name for it. Armbarn is fucking sweet.
Yeah, but PETA, come on. Yeah, if it was anybody else delivering this message, I think it could catch on.

Speaker 3 Like, Arm Barn is legitimately

Speaker 3 to use to use a phrase coined by our good friend Tony Khan, it's lit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it is very lit.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Sorry to anyone who... There's a couple people.
I see you. I like you,

Speaker 1 who grossly over-exaggerate the amount of baseball talk we have on this show. I don't know if you've noticed this, but if we talk, we just, what did we do? 10 minutes of baseball right there?

Speaker 1 Eight minutes?

Speaker 3 Was it eight minutes on dwarf?

Speaker 1 Shout out to two minutes on shout out the couple people that will tweet us tomorrow and be like, another three hours about baseball.

Speaker 3 I like those guys because it reminds you, it reminds people how long baseball games are. It's the exact same.

Speaker 1 It's crazy.

Speaker 3 We should put, yeah, every time we talk about baseball, we should have a 20-second pause in between sentences. Yes.

Speaker 1 On pitches. Yeah.
All right. Before we do the weekend preview as well,

Speaker 1 a serious topic, which sucks. You know, we had to talk about it, but I should talk about it.
The Blackhawks controversy. Not a controversy.
it's just a total,

Speaker 1 like, fuck up, terrible, terrible story. Kyle Beach revealed himself as John Doe on Wednesday night.

Speaker 1 If you don't know the story, essentially,

Speaker 1 the video, one of the video coaches for the Blackhawks assaulted Kyle Beach back in 2010.

Speaker 1 And as far as I can understand this entire story, pretty much everyone knew and pretty much no one did anything except maybe one guy who I think it was John Vincent, who was the security guard for the team.

Speaker 1 It's a terrible, terrible story. It's a reminder that like, you know, we idolize these players and these franchises and a lot of people are very flawed and also bad people.

Speaker 1 And I think that the Blackhawks should clean house. They did clean house.
Dan Bowman was out, but the whole thing is a terrible story. It feels like they went years and years trying to cover it up.

Speaker 1 They did no justice to Kyle Beach. Finally, he feels like he has justice.
And I'll be honest with you, from like a sports fan perspective, it does feel like 2010,

Speaker 1 you know, it feels lesser than because it's just, it's, it's terrible that everyone looked the other way on a real human issue instead of addressing it and getting justice.

Speaker 1 And the whole story is really, really messed up because then the coach then went to a high school in Michigan and assaulted another kid. Just a reminder that like

Speaker 1 sports are not everything. Like

Speaker 1 when real things happen and real bad people do stuff, speaking up is very important.

Speaker 3 So, I read this report and I was very confused why this person wasn't in prison already. It's why, why

Speaker 3 in the world, like, after reporting it, it just got like bottled up and nobody discussed it. And

Speaker 3 no charges were pressed against the guy, and then he ends up, you're right, he ends up going to a high school and repeating this exact behavior.

Speaker 1 I'll tell you why, because it's

Speaker 1 you know, similar, it's not the same as Penn State, but it's similar in that when you have high-intensity sports, people will do anything to win, and they will push anything aside to win, including

Speaker 1 human beings.

Speaker 1 And Kyle Beach is a human being who is crying for help, and it's disgusting, and the Blackhawks should be insanely, insanely ashamed, and like that's not something that you can, you know, talk away.

Speaker 1 I know they had a tweet last night that was just so tone deaf again.

Speaker 1 It's a total, total embarrassment. I'm happy that Kyle Beach seems like he finally feels like he's getting justice, but man, is it a bad story?

Speaker 3 So, I don't know what the NHL is going to do about it, but I do know it always feels like a little weird and uncomfortable and

Speaker 3 just a little bit off when something like this happens. And then the league's response is, like, well, we're going to punish your hockey team.

Speaker 3 Like, we're going, okay, well, we're going to take away draft picks or whatever. Like, there should be actual criminal repercussions for this.
Forget about what happens on the ice.

Speaker 3 Like, I don't want to hear about them losing money towards a salary. I want to hear about somebody being actually punished for this.

Speaker 1 And, you know,

Speaker 1 it's hard when it's 10 years ago and people are saying, you know, different recollection of things.

Speaker 1 The approach I always take in these situations is everyone knew. Like everyone knew.

Speaker 1 That's just, it's, if you've been in a locker room, if you've been in a work, you know, community, if you've worked closely with people, those things don't.

Speaker 1 You can't be like, oh, I had no idea.

Speaker 3 Everyone in whispers.

Speaker 1 Everyone knew. And everyone should feel blame and be held accountable for it.
And it shouldn't be a situation where it's like, well, he might not have known. He might not.
No, no, no.

Speaker 1 I'm going to assume everyone knew, and people should be insanely ashamed. And like you said, you know, I don't know what the criminal

Speaker 1 status of all of this is, but people should feel terrible because they look the other way of something that they should have addressed immediately. Yep, agreed.
Yeah. All right.

Speaker 1 So we had to address that.

Speaker 1 I did appreciate that one guy last night.

Speaker 1 So last night I was watching cars with my son and I was kind of off Twitter and I hopped on to just ask a question that I had been wondering about how the cars might

Speaker 1 date each other. And this one guy was like, this is how could you tweet something like this when there's new information coming out about the Black Hawks? And I was like, you can't be serious, dude.

Speaker 3 That to me just tells me that it's actually, that person has a pervert brain. That person is disgusting.

Speaker 1 He did the whole block everyone, like change his Twitter, do everything when he realized how ridiculous of a leap that was. Yeah, no,

Speaker 3 in that person's mind, asking how cars fuck each other is analogous to sexual assault.

Speaker 1 And as always, we talk about it many times on Twitter, but it does always tickle me when the Read the Room crowd comes out. It's like, you're...

Speaker 1 You have seen this story that's very serious, and your response is to go then police other people's tweets.

Speaker 3 And the answer to that question is the convertibles just take their top off.

Speaker 1 How do cars fuck in the movie cars? Yeah. They're all horny, and some are clearly in relationships, but how do they have sex?

Speaker 1 They have tailpipes in Cars 1.

Speaker 3 I've thought about this many times.

Speaker 1 In Cars 1, is there like

Speaker 1 kids?

Speaker 1 We don't know how the cars are invented, but there are kid cars. But in Cars 1,

Speaker 1 Lightning McQueen and the Porsche, like, he sees the Porsche has a tramp stamp and he's like, oh, I didn't know you'd get down like that. And they go on a date and all that stuff.

Speaker 1 And it's like, how does this, what do they do?

Speaker 3 Well, here's the deal, kids. Some of the cars are automatics, and the others have stick shifts.
And when they love each other very much, you just can drive on top of another car.

Speaker 1 I also like the one guy who's like, Someday your kids are gonna read these tweets.

Speaker 1 I'm like, Someday my kids are gonna fucking watch all my videos, and I hope that they have a good sense of humor and I raise them correctly to know that life's not too serious and piss your pants if you want to.

Speaker 3 At that point in the world, cars might actually be having sex with each other. Yeah, that's the next step for Elon Musk.

Speaker 1 I really need cars four to come out, though, because I've watched cars one, two, and three a billion times. A billion times.
That's all I do. Rank Rank them.

Speaker 1 Actually,

Speaker 1 I think I'm starting to like.

Speaker 1 Actually, I'll save it for our fantasy because I actually have it in my fantasy fathers, which

Speaker 1 we'll get to in a minute. But again,

Speaker 1 I am a father, so I don't really know how to do that, fantasy fathers. I'm just going to be myself.

Speaker 1 That works. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm a fuckboy. You're a fuckboy.
I'm a fuckboy. All right, let's do our weekend preview.
Enough serious stuff.

Speaker 1 What are the standings?

Speaker 6 Hank and first at 16, 11, and 1. PFT in the hot seat at 16 and 12.
Big cat, 15, and 13. Billy, tip of the cap, 14 and 14.

Speaker 1 Damn. It's working.
But he said he's quitting now. So he said he's quitting.
Why would you quit?

Speaker 3 He's quitting, but he's trying to reverse it this week.

Speaker 1 Why would you do that? You're killing it.

Speaker 3 Well, I'm at a perfect 50-50 how I planned. So I decided, you know what? Maybe I'm just going to try to go win it all.

Speaker 1 4-0? You're going 4-0 this week?

Speaker 3 I think I'm going to try this week. Whoa.

Speaker 1 I think I'm going to go. He has, to Billy's credit, he's always said, I'm going to go 2-2 every single week so that I can finish right in the middle and not have to drive to L.A.
You are 14 and 14.

Speaker 1 You deserve all the credit in the world. Thank you.
So now 4-0. It's a long season, though.
I don't know why he'd switch it up.

Speaker 3 Your formula is perfect right now. Billy, you see, it can't get any better with what you've been trying to do and the outcome that you've achieved.
Billy.

Speaker 3 So what is your goal for trying to switch it up?

Speaker 1 I want to prove that I can pick winners. No, but you have proved.
But you don't want to win.

Speaker 3 That's what's so very confusing to me. You don't want to win this.

Speaker 1 You have proved it, too. You've proved that you know the outcomes of these games by going 14 and 14.
Right, but I'm going to be honest, the road trip kind of sounds fun.

Speaker 1 So, you're going to try to leapfrog and get into second place. I'm going to try to finish in second.
All right, so you're going 4-0 this week.

Speaker 1 I'm going to try to. Yeah, you need to.
I'm going to try to go over 50% this week. All right, okay, there it is.

Speaker 3 All right, let's get to our picks.

Speaker 1 I'm going to try 13 and 15.

Speaker 1 At the bottom? Yes. All right, rocks, paper, scissors, shoot.

Speaker 6 Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.

Speaker 1 So Liam and PFT. Okay.
I can hold it. The whole group is separated by three and a half games.
It's very tium. Yeah.
It's very tight.

Speaker 1 Take one. So you're last.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Bubba, you're in last place.

Speaker 1 This will confuse us all the time.

Speaker 3 It's going to be very confusing if Billy actually ends up going on this trip and finishes in second place because he's going to love being on the trip, and chances are whoever's in last place is absolutely going to hate being on the trip with Billy.

Speaker 3 KMS. Making

Speaker 3 the trip even

Speaker 3 more insane.

Speaker 3 I would hate to be stuck on a road trip

Speaker 1 show. Suey Bird.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's fine.

Speaker 1 I can say that. I like that podcast.
But also, KMS, if I have to go with Billy,

Speaker 1 Donham Kim Suey.

Speaker 1 I think I would have fun with Billy. I think we'd all have fun with Billy.

Speaker 1 For a day. Yeah.
For a day. For one day.
All right. Let's do picks.
Hank, why don't you lead us off? Favorite. Your favorite favorite.
Hank is strong. Bengals.
Bengals. Okay, I'm with you.
Bengals.

Speaker 1 Bengals, minus 11.

Speaker 1 Okay. I don't, I mean, again,

Speaker 1 I'm not a favorites guy. I don't like any of these.
Yep. It is a

Speaker 1 feels like that. So I just basically went with, it does, it definitely does.

Speaker 1 It definitely feels like the Jets might fuck around and win this game, but I just have to go off the fact that they look so god-awfully bad. And Mike White.
And Mike White is starting.

Speaker 1 As much as I love him, respect him, Boku Ratone Bowl, legend. I don't think it's his fault that the organization is a complete shit show and they're going to let him down.

Speaker 1 And they're going to get smoked. I don't don't think he feels like a letdown.

Speaker 1 It's going to be a Billy Pick that it's going to be a loser.

Speaker 3 We never named an MVP of the Boca Raton Bowl, right?

Speaker 1 He got that trophy. We can do that right now.
He was

Speaker 1 MVP.

Speaker 1 The winner of the

Speaker 1 winning teams. Yeah, it goes.

Speaker 1 Now,

Speaker 3 I did some numbers on this because they also signed Flacco.

Speaker 1 Yes. He's not going to be suitable.
I was wondering,

Speaker 1 he's not going to be suited?

Speaker 1 I thought he couldn't join the team till Friday because of COVID protocols. There's something with that.
Flacco is going to be in street clothes? I don't know.

Speaker 1 I'm pretty sure that there's something with COVID protocols that either he's going to just make it but not have enough time to like you know get up to speed.

Speaker 3 So this is weird because I looked up Flacco's record against the Bengals.

Speaker 3 You would think that at the time that he was a quarterback of the Ravens, the Bengals weren't very good, that he probably had a pretty decent career.

Speaker 3 No, he actually has a losing record against the Bengals. And I think he's thrown like 20 touchdowns and

Speaker 3 28 interceptions.

Speaker 1 No love personal reasons. Personal reasons.
So that's just, he just has to go.

Speaker 3 He's having another kid.

Speaker 1 He's the move. That's what's going on.
He just doesn't want to move. Yeah.

Speaker 1 This week, Hank, there are some underdogs that I love so much. Let's go.
Let's scaring me. Let's go.
Scaring me. All right, Bubba.
Help me with my hungry dogs. All right, Bubba.

Speaker 1 I'm taking Dallas minus one and a half. Okay.

Speaker 3 Off a bye. I like it too.

Speaker 1 Is Dak up or no? Vikings also off a buy. Yeah, but they stink.

Speaker 1 It means more. Yeah, it means more.
But it's hard to do the off a buy when the other team is also off a buy.

Speaker 3 Kirk Cousins off a bye in primetime is like double primetime.

Speaker 3 It's too much expectations on Kirk Cousins this weekend.

Speaker 1 I love the Vikings in that game. I do.
I don't. I feel like the Vikings and we never say nice things about Kirk Cousins,

Speaker 1 and I hate doing the like, oh, they shoulda, coulda, woulda, but they really did play like they really could have beaten the Cardinals and the Bengals, the one seed in both divisions.

Speaker 1 Like they were a fucked up fumble and a missed field field goal against the Cardinals away from being 5-1.

Speaker 3 They also could have lost to the Jags, though.

Speaker 1 They could have lost to the Jags. They had the Janks.
Yes.

Speaker 1 I know. It's just one of those things.
Like, if they were 5-1, what would the spread be? That's all I like to play that game.

Speaker 3 So, the Cowboys, I don't think, have they played a bad game this year?

Speaker 1 I don't think that they have. The Chargers game was an ugly game.
Yeah, but that was more on the refs. Yeah.

Speaker 3 That made it ugly. That was a bad game.
I feel like the Cowboys still haven't played a bad game this year.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I also think that they are prime for

Speaker 1 a little regression because it feels like they just get three turnovers every game, mostly because of Trayvon Diggs.

Speaker 1 But it does feel like that's going to anytime, I mean, a theme, Hank, you remember it, turnover luck. Look, it's not just bias towards the Patriots.
It's any team.

Speaker 1 The worst turnover luck lesson I ever learned was, I think, 2012, I want to say, when the Bears had, they were like seven and one, and every game they had a pick six, and then they just sucked because they stopped getting pick sixes.

Speaker 3 Kirk Cousins 0-5 versus the Cowboys at home in his career. Ooh.
On stat.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 But half of those homes are Washington football teams.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's correct. Yeah.
Actually, I would say probably more than that. Well, FedEx Field, that's a harder place to play to survive.

Speaker 1 Yes. All right, your favorite favorite?

Speaker 3 My favorite is also, I'm taking the Bengals. I like the Bengals 11 points.
I started thinking to myself, like, that's a lot of points, but then I reminded myself it's the Jets. Letdown spot?

Speaker 1 That's the only thing you could tell yourself. No, I don't think this team's going to let down.
I'm not saying that.

Speaker 3 I think this team's going ham.

Speaker 1 The Bengals are in my can't lose parlay, but I, that's the only, like, you could find a world where you tell yourself let down spot. I'm 50-50 on my confidence in this pick.
It's not one that I'm.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but 50-50 is pretty good for Hank and a favorite.

Speaker 1 That's true.

Speaker 3 That means that you're like. No, it's 50-50.

Speaker 1 It's either, I'll say this. Bengals are covering or the Jets are winning.
It's not going to be in between. Okay.
Okay.

Speaker 1 All right. My favorite, I'm taking the Colts minus one and a half.
Here's some

Speaker 1 shocking stat for everyone here. The Titans and Colts have already played this season.
I just memory hold that.

Speaker 3 Yeah, and that's one of those teams where I think it's like the Chargers and the Raiders, and then the Titans and the Colts. It feels like they play five times every year.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Kind of like Portland and Seattle and MLS. I feel like every time I turn on my TV on ESPN2.
Or El Trafico. It's El Trafico or the fucking Timbers and the Seattle football team.
That's true.

Speaker 3 But yeah, I do remember this game. I agree with this pick, though.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Ryan Tannehill was gimpy, I want to say, in this game. The first time he was hurt.
He was coming off an. Or not, not Ryan Tannehill.
Carson Wentz. I am,

Speaker 1 I'm joining you, PFT. I'm starting to buy back in on Carson Wentz.
I rid myself of him, but I'm starting to buy back in, and it's a scary, scary thing.

Speaker 1 So if you're keeping score at home, I'm very confident in the Colts this week because I think Carson Wentz is back to being Carson Wentz of 2017, 2018, whatever that was, which means he will undoubtedly throw like four horrendous picks right in my face.

Speaker 3 Before he gets injured. Yes.
Yeah. Did you see Jim Merce?

Speaker 3 Jim Merce has his guitar collection going on the road. He's like doing a traveling Smithsonian exhibit

Speaker 3 where it's his guitars. And Jim, if you're listening, I know that you're an avid listener of many podcasts.
We need to have Jim Merce on the show. Come by.

Speaker 3 Because I need to talk to him about his true belief that when he takes out an Eric Clapton guitar, that that guitar still has the musical notes inside of it from when Eric Clapton's energy touched it.

Speaker 1 Including his hate for immigrants?

Speaker 3 Including his hate for immigrants. Yep.
And everything that goes along with it and his parenting skills.

Speaker 1 Everything that goes along.

Speaker 3 You went there first.

Speaker 1 No, I didn't go there.

Speaker 1 I went with things he says out loud, not that.

Speaker 3 But I need to talk to Jim Ursay about his true belief in the spirit of music and how it can stay in instruments.

Speaker 3 I feel like he'd be a Bill Walton type interview where we ask him one question and then he goes on for like 60 minutes and ends up talking about the time that he cried at Jim Morrison's grave.

Speaker 1 It would be great. Jim Ursay, you're welcome to come on.
Billy, your favorite? My favorite is the Bills minus 14 coming against the Dolphins. Okay.

Speaker 1 I like that better. Also, Billy.
Shilly's doing his sexy post right now. Also, shout out all the Tua fans.
You've tagged me in enough pro Tua tweets that it's starting to corrupt my brain.

Speaker 1 So job well done. I've just been tagged in so many tweets being like, Tua actually is a good quarterback.
I'm not there yet, but it's starting to work. It's Stockholm Syndrome.

Speaker 3 Here's how you can tell if you're still like, if you have the ability to buy back in on a quarterback, like the Carson Wentz thing. If Carson Wentz was traded to your franchise,

Speaker 3 the one that you root for tomorrow, would you be optimistic? Like, we can regain some of this? And I would be optimistic about Tua.

Speaker 1 I think so.

Speaker 3 Against every single fiber of my being, I would doubt my own eyeballs. Yeah.
And I'd be like, you know what?

Speaker 3 I remember that game against Georgia.

Speaker 3 I remember that one pass.

Speaker 1 It's just, I mean, I'm sure you've had this happen where if you have a take and everyone, and there's

Speaker 1 very fervent little niche audience that disagrees with it and they start tagging you and everything.

Speaker 1 Like I've watched Tua's second interception probably 35 times now with people saying it wasn't his fault and it's working. They are corrupting my brain.

Speaker 1 So keep it up and eventually I'll probably just flip it and be like, you know what, Tua's good because you've provided me with enough stats that I can go around and argue anyone, debate anyone about Tua.

Speaker 3 I love the guys out there that have the all 22 access and then they wait till Wednesday, and they show you why everything that you thought earlier in the week was wrong, and they gaslight us.

Speaker 3 That's what they do.

Speaker 3 When they put this stuff out, well, it's not always cheating because I still think that I'm right sometimes, and they'll be like, no, this was actually the fault of the wide receiver, and I feel like I'm watching a different play entirely than what they've seen, and they're gaslighting America.

Speaker 3 We should actually start a Twitter account. I don't know if these guys have enough on the plate.
Billy has enough on his plate already

Speaker 3 to just like put out completely wrong football information after the all-22 comes out.

Speaker 1 you say, if you narrate an all-22, you can spin it any which way you want. You'd be like, look, the guard actually was supposed to block here, so it's not the quarterback's fault.

Speaker 1 Right, you can be like this.

Speaker 3 Well, we don't know. This was supposed to be a curl route, that's the wide receiver route.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he stopped his route a yard early.

Speaker 3 And that's why Tua overthrew him by 25 yards and got it picked off.

Speaker 1 No, that second interception.

Speaker 1 It wasn't his fault.

Speaker 1 I've been gaslit to that. Yes, that's what I'm talking about.

Speaker 3 Like, we know what we saw. Believe what you saw.

Speaker 1 Still Waddle left the spot that the tua was throwing it to he abandoned him yes he abandoned he abandoned him

Speaker 1 so many times i've i swear to god my brain is melting fuck you two people but it's working uh all right jake your favorite i'm going with the falcons minus three against the panthers i think the panthers will out falcon the falcons agree against the falcons okay well sam darnold is uh

Speaker 1 i mean he's got to be this has got to be it like if he has another terrible game i don't know what they do he was sam darnold got the vote of confidence from matt rule though after the last game that's the worst thing you can get Real quick.

Speaker 1 Rex is our quarterback.

Speaker 3 We got to rewind real quick to the Tua stuff because Tua was asked if he feels like he's welcome there. And he was like,

Speaker 3 I don't not feel welcome here.

Speaker 1 And that's pretty bad.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's pretty bad. If you're like, well, they're kind of indifferent to me, so that's good.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 They kind of just don't even pay attention to me.

Speaker 3 That's not a bad spot for an NFL player to be in, honestly.

Speaker 1 And the name placard over my locker is Deshaun Watson, but that's probably a mistake.

Speaker 3 Yep.

Speaker 1 Hank, your underdog.

Speaker 1 I'm going to ride till the wheels fall off. They're 0-6,

Speaker 1 3-3, covering

Speaker 1 the Detroit Lions. Yes.
Are you lost 3-1? Now, are you against the Philadelphia Eagles? Are you a little worried? No.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 No, I'm taking them until they win. All right.
I was going to talk about weather. No.

Speaker 1 Are you a little worried that Nick Siriani has now graduated from looking himself in the mirror to using weird analogies that make you just feel worse about his football team?

Speaker 1 He said they're emphasizing growth under the soil. He said he's using a picture of a flower to explain to his young players that there's a process going on, even in tough times.

Speaker 1 Everyone in the building is fertilizer and water to make the roots blossom into a flower. Actually, now that I've read that out loud.
Where did this guy come from?

Speaker 3 No one knows. I think he probably showed up when

Speaker 3 he spent like six months probably coaching high school football in Ohio.

Speaker 1 He went to a max school.

Speaker 3 Yeah, Joe Gettleman saw him and was like, you know what? I want to hire this guy.

Speaker 1 Frank Reich had him hold a headset for a year with the Colts.

Speaker 1 I actually am on your I'm on your side now because Dan Campbell's going up literally against the flower. Yeah, and he's going to be like, let's just he'll eat it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 He'll just walk up and be like, see this flower?

Speaker 3 No, Dan Campbell is, he does not eat plants.

Speaker 1 That's the thing. He'll poison it like Harvey Updike.
If someone said this flower is Nick Siriani, he would walk up to it and like pull it out of the ground and then just

Speaker 1 bite it off.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Now, what about this quote from Nick Siriani? He said,

Speaker 3 the Eagles are going to be doubling down on dog mentality.

Speaker 1 So they're going to dog mentality. Wait, are they a dog or a flower?

Speaker 1 DJ Tucker.

Speaker 3 There's mixed messaging coming out of Nick Siriani's brain right now.

Speaker 1 They're also, the Eagles are in a tough spot because talking about like the all-22 and being gaslit, I have noticed that multiple people have said that the Eagles' defense is the most bland defense in the NFL and one of the most bland defenses they've ever seen.

Speaker 3 Well, they're doubling down on it.

Speaker 1 So, seeing that like tweeted from

Speaker 1 different people over and over, I'm just going to say that's a fact. I'm going to start telling people.

Speaker 3 It might be the truth. So, it also matters what type of dog that they're trying to double down on being of the mental state of.

Speaker 1 Aren't there flowers that are poisonous? Kill a dog? Yeah. Dog flowers.
Dog flowers? Is what? Dogwood. Dogwood.
Flowers. Dog flowers.
Dog flowers.

Speaker 1 It's probably because of Jared, but I'm so invested in this Lions team. And we got Dan Campbell.
It's like I'm rooting for them harder than everyone except the Patriots. I think

Speaker 3 this is the week that it happens because you have.

Speaker 1 If it's not, everyone's saying that, though. So if it's not, it's going to be actually demoralizing.

Speaker 3 Here's what I've done with this game because I agree with you, Hank. I think the Lions are going to win it outright.

Speaker 1 Are we just going in together? Yes. I'm pretending.
Is your pick two? Yes.

Speaker 3 I'm pretending that.

Speaker 1 And yours. It's my pick two.

Speaker 1 I'm pretending and Jake's and Jake's.

Speaker 1 Now we're fucking. Oh, no.
Don't dare do it. I'm not.

Speaker 6 No, three of us were on Detroit plus 15 last week.

Speaker 1 Okay, so

Speaker 3 I'm going to Detroit Money Lines.

Speaker 3 And here's why. I am pretending that the players do not exist in this game.
I don't care who's on the roster for the Eagles or the Lions.

Speaker 3 I'm strictly viewing this game as a matchup between Dan Campbell and Nick Siriani. And

Speaker 3 I feel like Dan Campbell just takes a shit all over Nick Siriani's brain. Yes.

Speaker 3 So it's a very stupid way to approach betting on this game, but that's how I'm looking at it, and I'm feeling dangerously confident.

Speaker 1 Here's my one prediction for this game, and I don't,

Speaker 1 if I had to bet it, I would definitely be on the Lions. But

Speaker 1 this game will be the fuck shit game in the fourth quarter of Witching Hour, because you have two teams that, like,

Speaker 1 suck, but they also never, they always play well at the end of games. The Lions never give up.
The Eagles are the greatest, like, you know, make the game look closer than it actually is team.

Speaker 1 I feel like this will be the game that switches leads four times in the witching hour.

Speaker 3 Yeah, and between the two coaches, Nick Siriani tries to do stuff like Dan Campbell. He tries to take Dan Campbell and use that as his costume.
Like Nick Siriani goes as Dan Campbell for Halloween.

Speaker 3 He looks in the mirror and sees Dan Campbell, but he doesn't know when to be Dan Campbell and when not to be. So he just kind of like randomly decides, okay, we're going to go for this fourth down.

Speaker 3 Right. Okay, we're going to randomly be aggressive here.
Dan Campbell drives with his foot firmly planted on the gas pedal. Yes.
All the time, blasting the black album.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 Liam, your underdog. I'm taking Washington plus three.
I like it.

Speaker 1 I like it a lot. Because I don't.
No, I like it. I'm really bad at picking.
I do. I hate it.
I took it because I hate it.

Speaker 1 I think all the Washington football team has to do is just try to figure out a way to score on their drives instead of getting to the 20 and having Taylor Heineke do something stupid.

Speaker 3 Well, that's kind of a problem of Taylor Heineke.

Speaker 1 Here, here's all I'll say. If you have a team that you can point to one problem and be like, fix that and you're good, I like that.

Speaker 3 Have you watched the football team?

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's it.

Speaker 3 I'm going to point to like seven problems right now.

Speaker 3 I still have my straw, by the way. I've got my last straw.
People are telling me. Where's mine? I offered it to you last week.
You didn't take it.

Speaker 1 Oh, wait. Here it is.
Oh, perfect. I have my straws.

Speaker 3 Okay, we're on our last straws with the Washington football team. You know what?

Speaker 1 I'm actually...

Speaker 1 I'm more of a WFT team fan than you. I'm not even taking off the paper in my last straw.
So I can take off the paper and then give away my last straw. So I have two.

Speaker 3 I don't think you're a bigger fan. I I think that you're just, you haven't been hurt over the years.
You don't understand what that straw means.

Speaker 1 I'm keeping it

Speaker 1 in the wrapper so that I have two last moves.

Speaker 3 So we talked to Florio a little bit about it, but then things have developed since the owners' meeting when Mark Davis, of all people, is standing on the table with his little backpack. He looks

Speaker 1 loved him.

Speaker 3 And he's saying that he is personally requesting that they release all the emails from the Washington football team investigation. If this is the case,

Speaker 3 if Mark Davis accomplishes this, I will get a Mark Davis tattoo. I will do it.
This is how much it means. Because here's why.

Speaker 3 If Dan Snyder actually takes the fall for all this bullshit that he's done, my straw worries are over.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I'm going right now.

Speaker 3 People are like, oh, wait, Dan Snyder's done all this bullshit. Yeah, I know he has, and I hope he gets caught for it.

Speaker 3 That's not going to make me get rid of the straw because then we could be in a potential situation where he has to sell the team, in which case I'll have an infinite quantity of straws. Yes.

Speaker 3 And so it's truly a Schrödinger straw situation where I'm having zero straws and plenty of straws at the same time I just hope that Mark Davis is able to come through for me because I have more faith in Mark Davis accomplishing something than I do in Congress doing it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's where we're at him and his little backpack I also think they might just poison him at a PF change and that'll be it.

Speaker 3 I don't know. I don't think I don't think you can poison that that man.
I feel like he's got guts of steel. You know what he reminds me of? This is our succession discussion for the week.

Speaker 3 He's like if Greg and Shiv were one character.

Speaker 1 Ah. In succession.
Okay, what do you say? Nick Siriani reminds me of the speech from the most recent episode when he's telling his siblings what the company's going to be. Yes, yes.

Speaker 1 He's just making shit up. Yes, the buzzword speech.
Yes. Ken.
Kendall Royce. He's quite something.

Speaker 1 Also, speaking of Dan Snyder, I just want to give a shout-out. I always appreciate anyone who decides, like, hey, the whole world is thinking this way.
Let me go the opposite.

Speaker 1 Doug Gottlieb said, Dan Snyder had to change the football name. He had to get rid of his entire front office.
He also, by the way, fired his coach.

Speaker 1 He had to step down and put his wife in charge, and they paid $10 million.

Speaker 1 I don't know how many pounds of flesh you need.

Speaker 3 Thank you, Doug.

Speaker 1 Thank you for standing up for Dan Snyder. He's the real victim here.
He's already given you enough.

Speaker 3 Ask anybody that cares about the Washington football team at all if we think, you know what?

Speaker 3 Actually, I might flip, I might spin myself on this and be like, you know what the real problem is now with the football team? Tanya Snyder has too much control. Yeah.
I want Dan to come back. Yes.

Speaker 3 All the stuff that she's doing with her day-to-day operations, she's very, very in the know about everything.

Speaker 1 Incredible Zag by Doug Gottlieb when you needed it the most. All right, my underdog.
I'm taking the Saints plus five and a half. I think this game's going to be close.

Speaker 1 You know, the Bucs beat the Saints, obviously, in the playoffs, but the Saints beat the Bucs. They beat them to like a drum in the regular season last year.

Speaker 1 I just think the Saints defense will keep it close. Also, I looked it up.
Saints are 7-1 straight up and 7-1 as an underdog against the spread in the last three years. I like the spot.

Speaker 1 Five and a half feels like it's going to be a tight, tight game.

Speaker 3 I don't mind that. Yeah, I don't mind.
When is Michael Thomas coming back? Because I just reminded myself that he was on the Saints on Monday. Who knows?

Speaker 1 Who knows? Slanty.

Speaker 3 Yeah. People call him Slantman.
Slantman. I like that.
Slantman and Blitz Boy.

Speaker 1 That's good. Okay, we'll do our totals in a second.

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Speaker 1 All right, over. Hank.

Speaker 1 No, they have the Lions.

Speaker 1 Jake and Billy have the Lions. I'm going to take the Over in that Buck Saints game.
Oh. I have that as well.

Speaker 1 I have that as well. Oh.

Speaker 3 I feel like if the Saints win this game, they're going to have to really muck it up. Yeah, I don't.

Speaker 1 The Saints are going going to have to win this game like

Speaker 1 21-17.

Speaker 3 A lot of deflections.

Speaker 1 Are you sticking with it?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Are you trying to talk me off another winner?

Speaker 3 Why don't you maybe think about doing an alternate?

Speaker 1 I'm done giving alternate bets.

Speaker 1 What do you mean? Oh, no, Billy, you asked me. You literally just gave one to Billy.
Yeah, I know. And that was my last one.
Billy, you get to pick your alternate bet, your total this week.

Speaker 1 Over 65?

Speaker 1 Oh, of that game? Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right, if it goes over 65, I'll give you some shoes.

Speaker 1 God damn it. All right, PFT, you're over.

Speaker 3 My over Steelers Browns.

Speaker 1 Ooh. 42.

Speaker 3 That's my under. Mike Tomlin's not fucking leaving.
Never say never, but never. Never.

Speaker 3 He's got the boys rallying to him.

Speaker 3 Ben Roethlisberger went on the TV show that Ben Rollesberger shows up to every week and was talking about just how bad his hip is and how bad it's affecting his throwing motion.

Speaker 3 That to me tells me everything's right with Ben Rothlessberger. He's going to come out.
He's going to do great.

Speaker 3 I don't know if it's going to be Baker, if it's going to be Case, but I don't think that there's that much of a difference because Case Keenum, I was thinking about the game that he had last Thursday.

Speaker 3 Case Keenum played about exactly perfectly for what you envision a backup to do. He was like making all the easy throws.

Speaker 3 He wasn't, yeah, when he has zero expectations, Case Keenum is an excellent player.

Speaker 1 He's a very good backup player. So Baker,

Speaker 3 it doesn't really matter to me. I feel like both teams are going to score some points.
I was watching some EPL yesterday and got really into the whole expected goal stat.

Speaker 1 Have you ever checked that out?

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah. That's my favorite.

Speaker 3 You talk about something that's just made up on the spot. It's like, to me, the expected score of this game is 28-17.

Speaker 1 Ooh. 28-7.
So you would, so, and your expected score, it'd still be pretty close.

Speaker 3 Yeah, my expected score has the over, though.

Speaker 1 Okay, all right.

Speaker 3 It's a realistic over.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Because you got to get yourself 28-24 if you're going to take it.

Speaker 3 Well, I don't want to lie to our audience and be like, my expected score in this game is 35-20. 20.
Yeah. Because that's just not true.
The expected score in this game is 28, 17.

Speaker 1 28, 17. That is my under of the week, so we're opposite on that.
My over is going to be Titans, Colts, over 51. Both of these past defenses suck.

Speaker 1 So I think fireworks. Billy.

Speaker 3 My over is the Bears, 49ers, 39.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, I looked at it because that's one of those games. 39.5 is a number where you're like, if I just get two weird plays to happen, I might be in business.
Yeah, I'd be going for four now.

Speaker 1 Oh, you're already conceding the first three wins? I'd be curious to know if there's any advanced statisticians to over-under record when two rookie quarterbacks. Oh, is Jimmy G playing?

Speaker 1 I think Jimmy G is playing.

Speaker 1 But Matt Nagy's not, I do not think Matt Nagy will clear COVID protocol in time. So maybe

Speaker 1 it would be so incredible if the Bears dropped 60 on the 49ers out of nowhere because Matt Nagy wasn't around to put his stink on the team.

Speaker 3 I just, I personally, I don't know how you feel about this situation, big cat, but I think that Matt Nagy should really, he should take his time.

Speaker 3 Sometimes, you know, you got to put things into perspective.

Speaker 1 As a COVID survivor, I hope he gets better.

Speaker 3 We were talking about that earlier. Like, some things are truly, truly bigger than sports.
And a full recovery, spending time with your family, these are the moments that you can't get back.

Speaker 1 I did Google whether you can fire someone who has COVID and you can't. So we'll have to wait.

Speaker 3 Matt Nagy's going to be a long hauler then.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Jesus. All right.
Over, over in that game. Okay, that game, I'm thank God that game's at one o'clock and it can just waste away somewhere in everyone out of everyone's mind.

Speaker 1 I'm predicting that game's gonna be the one that Red Zone forgot.

Speaker 3 I hope so.

Speaker 1 Yes, I hope so too. I'm just

Speaker 1 as low as possible.

Speaker 3 In advance, can we not have the sound on that game?

Speaker 1 Yeah, we don't have to have on that game.

Speaker 1 All right, Jake.

Speaker 6 No, also New Orleans tampa. That's right.

Speaker 1 Hank.

Speaker 1 Also, under in Browns Steelers. Okay.
Let's go, Hank.

Speaker 1 Liam.

Speaker 1 I have under 49 in New England,

Speaker 1 L.A. Chargers.
How are you feeling about this game, Hank?

Speaker 1 I'm nervous.

Speaker 1 This is either, you know, Super Bowl VIIs on or

Speaker 1 Hank. That's what I know.
I really don't know.

Speaker 3 If you win this game, it's like we're both.

Speaker 1 If we win this game, we're basically undefeated. The Patriots are the weirdest team because they have the best losses in the league.
Like, they have the best losses in the league.

Speaker 1 Two-point losses to the Bucs and an overtime loss to the Cowboys. They also,

Speaker 1 their three wins are the Jets and the Texans. You play who you play, Big Car.

Speaker 1 What do you want the Patriots to do? I'm saying

Speaker 1 they have incredible losses. Like, you can look.

Speaker 1 The Patriots. They can go out there and line up against the other team.

Speaker 1 The Patriots are a true glass, half-full, glass, half-empty team, where it's just whatever angle you're looking at them, you can sell yourself on what they are. Wouldn't you say? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, like, you can really look at it and be like, they're right there, and then you can also remind yourself they've already played the Jets twice. This game will shape the rest of my season.

Speaker 1 We need to look at it. I mean, they're going to be

Speaker 1 aggressively, you know, aggressive, that they're going to win and bring it back. Bring the Bets back out? No, it's a playoff holding company.
Okay.

Speaker 3 We need to do some research on Bill Belichick versus rookie head coaches. Ooh.
And see if it lines up with Bill Belichick versus rookie quarterbacks.

Speaker 1 Patriots, Saints, Lions. I think that's going to be the hungry

Speaker 1 I like it. I actually like it all the time.

Speaker 3 Do you feel concerned tossing the Patriots into your Hungry Dog parlay all the time?

Speaker 1 I think it's the first time. Is it?

Speaker 3 You've just been betting a lot on Boston sports teams recently.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah. Done.
I noticed that, yeah.

Speaker 3 I just don't want your personal bias to cloud the hungry dog parlay.

Speaker 1 I like that hungry dog parlay, hey.

Speaker 1 The Patriots are hungry as fuck this weekend. They are hungry.

Speaker 1 Unbiased opinion. You're under PFT.

Speaker 3 My under is going to be Jag Seahawks, 43.5.

Speaker 1 Also a game that I think we're going to kind of low-key forget happens.

Speaker 3 Yes, this is going to be a stinker of a game. It's a Jason Myers revenge game.
The kicker for the Seahawks. Huge.

Speaker 3 Jason Myers, I was reminded of a hilarious quote that he had last year when he missed a couple field goals in the game. And a reporter was like, what does it feel like to miss kicks?

Speaker 3 And he goes, it feels great, dude. It's fucking awesome, man.

Speaker 1 I love that.

Speaker 3 I love that shit. So this is also going to be like DK is going to be hungry this weekend.
He's had a rough week. He has.
He got dragged through the mud. He did.
Through no fault of his own.

Speaker 3 Like a man can't even have a forsom in America anymore without the PC media crawling up his butthole about it.

Speaker 1 Did your ears perk up when you found out there was no security at his house?

Speaker 3 No.

Speaker 3 No, why?

Speaker 1 I don't know, in case you want to take him out or something.

Speaker 3 I don't want to ever take DK out. DK and I have a friendly rivalry, Hank.
And I think it's times like these where I will stand up for another man's right to have sex with free women.

Speaker 1 This video is so long.

Speaker 1 She was just fucking...

Speaker 1 Get to the point. Yeah, get to the point.
Well, that's a screenshot.

Speaker 3 First of all, allegedly, he had sex with three women at once. I don't even want to say that it's true.
I mean, he pretty much tweeted that it was true.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Whatever, he's 23, single. Exactly.

Speaker 3 I just, I don't understand the mentality of the woman that put him on blast being like, I can't believe this NFL player didn't make me sign an NDA before he fucked me and my two friends. Yeah.

Speaker 3 It's like, wait, that's where we're at now? Billy's very confused. I don't think it actually happened.

Speaker 1 No, it didn't. It didn't.
They never actually did it.

Speaker 3 Oh, they didn't have sex.

Speaker 1 So she said that she was basically driving to his house. He said, it's too late.

Speaker 1 Go home. Then, like, a half hour later, he hit her up and be like, actually, I'm at the bar.
I'm trying to have a foursome. Why don't you come back? I got two other girls.
Okay.

Speaker 1 So she was like, fuck that. I'm not going.
All right. At the very least, sounds like he had a threesome.
Possibly. Good for him.
Possible threesome.

Speaker 3 Yes.

Speaker 3 Memes was reminding me earlier about L'A'Veon Bell had a threesome one time, and then he called the cops right afterwards, and he had to file a police report being like, hey, these two girls that I slept with stole $500,000 worth of jewelry.

Speaker 3 Yes,

Speaker 1 for me, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, this game's going to be where we really need the Patriots, Chargers, and the Bucks, Saints to be good because the other afternoon games have chances of being stinkers.

Speaker 1 Billy, you're under.

Speaker 3 My under is the Cowboys Vikings at 54.5.

Speaker 1 Okay. Are you taking an alternate under?

Speaker 1 Not shoes.

Speaker 1 I didn't like this week's slate for the ultimate. Okay,

Speaker 1 you can wait. That's fine.

Speaker 1 And then then Jake?

Speaker 6 Also with PFT. Jack Seahawks under 44.

Speaker 1 All right. Any games you got?

Speaker 3 44?

Speaker 6 I'm on the sports book right now.

Speaker 3 It was 43 and a half.

Speaker 1 All right, so take 44. I think the only game we missed is Rams Texans, and I don't care.
I mean, that's okay. Is Tyrod going to play?

Speaker 3 I don't think anybody's going to play.

Speaker 3 I think the Texans might just not show up for a while.

Speaker 1 Brainer Cooks feel bad for him this week. Yeah, they should.

Speaker 1 They should just start doing like a running clock when they show up off the bus.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I mean, this is kind of what we expected from the Texans, though, that before the trade deadline, they are just going to try to trade away as many of their players as possible for like fifth-round picks.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 1 This is where Tim Tebow should be playing quarterback. Give us a shot.
I mean, if you want to have Tim Tebow have fun, put him on the Texans.

Speaker 1 And have them just fucking ball out.

Speaker 3 They should sign all the old quarterbacks that we still feel excited to watch. Like Tim Tebow, Johnny Manzel, I would watch.
RG3, I would watch. Johnny,

Speaker 1 Kyle Orton, Yep.

Speaker 3 Kaepernick. Get Kaepernick in the mix.
People like that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, have them run just all quarterback offense. Yes.
Everyone can handle the ball.

Speaker 3 If you're not going to be good, at least be fun. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 I think that's it. The only other stat I had was the Bears have 871 net passing yards this year.
We're in week eight.

Speaker 3 That's almost a mile.

Speaker 1 That's so bad. Like, if you that's so bad.

Speaker 3 If you think of it just in terms of distance, it sounds not bad.

Speaker 1 Does Army Army might have more?

Speaker 3 Yeah, I think they probably do.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because they played that crazy game last week.

Speaker 3 My absolute favorite is when Army just decides to pass the ball.

Speaker 3 They must have the highest percentage, though, of attempted passes to interceptions.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's cheating when they pass. So when they pass on non-passing downs, it's cheating.
Yes.

Speaker 1 That's so fucked up when they do that because it's almost like a gentleman's rule that, hey, we're not going to pass unless it's fourth and very, very long.

Speaker 1 What were you going to say, Jason?

Speaker 6 Five, two half-point differences in two of your picks. Okay.
New Orleans, five instead of five and a half.

Speaker 1 Got it.

Speaker 6 But you benefit 50.5 instead of 51, Tennessee.

Speaker 1 Boom. Put them in.
Love it. Thank you, Jake.
Keeping us honest.

Speaker 1 Anything else for, I'm excited for week eight.

Speaker 1 I think we're going to have a good week, boys. We're due.
I think this podcast is going to have a good week. I think we're going to have a good week.
I just feel it in the air.

Speaker 1 And then, again, anyone who listens to this on Monday, you're a pervert because you're basically listening for us to

Speaker 1 get like face fucked and be wrong about everything.

Speaker 3 I'm still getting messages from people who are like, hey, I'm listening to last Friday's episode right now on a Thursday. Yeah.
On the following Thursday. What is

Speaker 1 shaving? No, no. I think that sicko is me.
That got confused. That got confused because there are people who, whatever life may come up, you might not listen right away.
I'm talking about.

Speaker 1 Three episodes a week is kind of allowed to stay on. What I'm talking about.
Shout out to the people that do.

Speaker 1 I'm only talking to the people who intentionally go back and try to listen to our terrible takes and terrible picks so that they can laugh about how wrong we are about everything.

Speaker 1 They're the perverts. You know who you are.
You're a pervert. Memes texted me earlier and said, tomorrow's our 500th episode.
And then I asked, and it's our 867th.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Everyone keeps hitting us up about our 500th episode. Yeah, we did our 500 when we first moved into this room.
Yeah, 367th episodes ago.

Speaker 1 And every day, someone's like, hey, next week's the 500th episode. It's because I found out, it's because Apple Podcast only backlogs 500.

Speaker 3 Oh, so every episode?

Speaker 1 Every episode is 500.

Speaker 3 It's like Ryan Lochte's dog.

Speaker 1 It's so sick.

Speaker 3 Turning eight every year.

Speaker 1 That's so sick. Big Hat, do you have a parlay that can't lose? I do.

Speaker 1 It's the Bengals. Okay.

Speaker 1 It's the

Speaker 1 win. It's the Bills.
It's the Rams. All to just win.
Oh.

Speaker 1 And then

Speaker 1 the Steelers plus seven and a half.

Speaker 1 No?

Speaker 1 Seven and a half?

Speaker 1 And then over 48.5 on Sunday night football. Thoughts?

Speaker 1 It just sounds like a lot of different numbers that I have to keep track of in my brain. There's only three.

Speaker 1 It's four things at one o'clock and then a late-night thing.

Speaker 3 I left you a snack.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's just something at the end that I left you.

Speaker 3 The snack always concerns me, though.

Speaker 1 But the snack is the best part. You can hedge it.
You can hedge if you want to, but gamble responsibly. 1-800-gambler.
Pigskin parlay if you want to gamble for free. Up to $40,000, the jackpot.

Speaker 1 There we go. Playmarshall.com.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's do Fantasy Fathers and let's get to our awesome interviews. We have Meta World Sandiford, also known as Ron Artess, also known as Meta World Peace, and Usain Bolt, Fantasy Fathers.

Speaker 1 Hello?

Speaker 1 Hey, I don't know a father voice. My name is Anderson Swishwaffle.

Speaker 3 Hello, Mr. Swishwaffle.

Speaker 1 My stardom is fresh lumber.

Speaker 1 It's a real treat to smell. Some people like to, you know, use heat from a home and oil and waste all that money.
I prefer to go into my backyard and chop down a fresh redwood,

Speaker 1 push it into a bunch of different pieces.

Speaker 3 Chop down a redwood on your own.

Speaker 1 That's wild stuff.

Speaker 3 I typically just buy a cord from the neighbor.

Speaker 1 Heat my house for the whole summer and winter.

Speaker 1 My sit him on my notes pad is blank. I don't know what happened to my notes.

Speaker 3 I'm getting forgetful in my old age, too.

Speaker 1 So my sitem

Speaker 3 is

Speaker 1 me.

Speaker 1 I'm gonna sit myself. Have a nice sit.
I'm too young to be a father. Sit down.

Speaker 3 It's just nice to

Speaker 1 have a nice recliner.

Speaker 1 Wear condoms, kids. You don't want to be like me one day.

Speaker 3 I'm going to disagree with you on that one.

Speaker 1 My sleeper is oranges.

Speaker 1 Yeah?

Speaker 1 Aren't you glad I didn't say banana? That's very good.

Speaker 1 That's nailed it.

Speaker 3 That's a real rib tickler.

Speaker 1 Nailed it. Thank you.

Speaker 3 Hey, guys. I had a good sleeper, too.

Speaker 1 I'll think of it.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 3 Yeah, just whenever you feel like it, just jump on in.

Speaker 3 Hi, I'm LeVar Ball.

Speaker 3 It's a real pleasure to be back on here. My stardom is calendars.
It's daylight savings time.

Speaker 3 I'm actually afraid for the calendars. These days are numbered.

Speaker 1 Oh, dad joked.

Speaker 3 My sitem is I'm sitting exercise. I've worked out.
I went for a nice walk at the mall this morning. So my wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape.
That would be a big step forward.

Speaker 1 Dad bought 2021. Yeah, hell yeah.

Speaker 3 And then my sleeper, I'm going to sleep on Case Keenum because I think that the guy is just, he's swell.

Speaker 3 You put a pair of air monarchs and a football helmet, it's reasonable and comfortably priced.

Speaker 1 All right, what's up? It's Big Cat. My stardom is Halloween.
I'm very excited for Halloween with my kids.

Speaker 1 What do we got? We're doing a Halloween party on Friday night.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You dressing up? Probably not.
Come on.

Speaker 1 I forgot to tell right this second to buy. Party Mercury.

Speaker 3 Yeah, easy last second adjustment there.

Speaker 1 No, my son's going to be a construction worker because we live around a lot of construction. And also I have an ultimate warrior costume that I might have him wear to school on Friday.
Blue collar.

Speaker 1 Yeah. My sit-em is cold weather because

Speaker 1 having to bundle up kids sucks. So

Speaker 1 it's a shitty transition where it's like, oh, we're going out. We got to get the coat.
We got to get the

Speaker 1 sweatshirt. We got to do everything like that.
If they fall, though, they got padding. That's true.
They fall. They got padding.

Speaker 3 I had an idea like a year ago about this different type of jumpsuit that you could invent for children where everything just zips up so it's like one outfit and then you can unzip the gloves off it you could unzip the shirt to make it a three-quarter length you can unzip the t-shirt you can unzip it to make it a white beater you can unzip the top from the bottom until it's shorts it's just like one outfit for everything zippers everywhere yeah um and then my sleeper is cars three

Speaker 1 i'm starting to think cars three might be better than cars one cars two is trash I haven't seen any of the cars, truthfully.

Speaker 3 They're great.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I could just tell you all about them. You'd get too hard now, probably.
yeah probably tell you all about them i've watched way too many cars

Speaker 1 slap me silly boys how are you hey

Speaker 1 what's up hey will

Speaker 1 how's it hanging guys it's good low and lazy hey great to see you

Speaker 3 here i am i'm mr dad man my stardom is stretching always got to get a good stretch before you do anything because you know when you get old you know muscles are a lot easier to stretch.

Speaker 3 It's going down the wrong way. Remember.

Speaker 1 It's not like when we were kids.

Speaker 1 Not at all.

Speaker 3 My sinner is Jamar Chase. So I think we got to spread the ball out.
I think he's not going to get as much as he did last week.

Speaker 1 You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 I agree.

Speaker 3 My sleeper is the electric Bill. It's getting cold.

Speaker 1 He's going to go up. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Keep the door closed.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the electric bill. Get it? Yeah.
Man up, Bill. Get a nice axe.
Yeah. Sharpener up.

Speaker 3 He is an electric background. This guy talking right here.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Hey, oh, the leaves. We got to rake the leaves.
Yeah. The leaves.
The guy get raped. Billy, how how do you follow?

Speaker 3 How do you follow your

Speaker 1 joy of being a dad?

Speaker 1 My new startup is actually having kids. It really changes your life.
It is. It's a really life-altering experience.
Billy, it's awesome. Are you ready for one more, but then no more?

Speaker 1 None after that.

Speaker 1 I feel like parents always do that. And then another one.
You might have one or two more, then nothing. The more

Speaker 1 you have,

Speaker 1 the better.

Speaker 3 That's not always the truth.

Speaker 1 Why not? Because sometimes

Speaker 1 every little the youngest of Joy

Speaker 1 look at the Huckabee.

Speaker 3 Or no, the Duggars. Duggars had a couple real stinkers.
Johnny Kate plus eight. What a

Speaker 1 not the kids, the parents, freak shows.

Speaker 1 How many? No, I think they have them all still.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 it went sideways when they had fucking. It's like John plus four and Kate plus four.

Speaker 3 Well, no, because John decided that he was going to be like a full-time club guy.

Speaker 1 Well, and also Kate, I'm pretty sure, started dating the security guard. Got messy.
Kate Kate was the

Speaker 3 originator of the Karen haircut, I think.

Speaker 1 Yes, it got messy between them.

Speaker 1 Turns out, putting your entire life on reality television might not be the best for your relationship. Just a factor.
Who would have thought that?

Speaker 1 Who would have thought that?

Speaker 3 In the case of Messica, it might be the best.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it could be the best. Could be the best.

Speaker 1 Stunner when that happens.

Speaker 1 How many marriages has Kim Kardashian on?

Speaker 3 Well, I mean, she's doing okay now, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Her and Kai. Wait, are they divorced? I think so.

Speaker 1 But they're talking and stuff. Oh.

Speaker 1 there's rumors all right so we're back they're working together on esprit all the way back i feel like you never truly get divorced from kanye his brain will always be around you yeah his presence it's also different you have kids that's true as a father you know that yes yes all right uh good see you later alligator oh i think we saw

Speaker 1 the music like 10 25 30 we just

Speaker 3 played the music so how am i supposed to know yeah we billy

Speaker 1 oh we play the music god damn it you just showed everyone how the the show works. All right, let's get to our interview.

Speaker 1 We got an awesome interview with Meta World Peace and awesome interview with Usain Bolt.

Speaker 1 We taped Usain Bolt a couple weeks ago, so I think you, I think there was a moment where I brought up that he's a Packers fan. So there we go.
Everyone gets to be a pervert in real life.

Speaker 1 Also, the audio is not great on it. Audio is not great.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he was on a weird computer. But yeah, you get to be a pervert by the fact that I think I said the Bears are going to beat the Packers.
So that's fun.

Speaker 3 Before we get to our good friend, Meta World Peace, wait, what's his official name?

Speaker 3 Meta World Sandifer. And trust me, it's a good animal.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's what it was.

Speaker 3 You're going to want to listen to this one.

Speaker 1 My Siddham was Meta.

Speaker 1 Damn.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay, but before we get there.

Speaker 1 Why?

Speaker 1 Because that's Facebook's new name. Oh.

Speaker 1 And as a father,

Speaker 1 so I was going to be like, my sitim is Meta.

Speaker 1 What's going to happen to my Facebook page?

Speaker 3 Damn. Well, listen,

Speaker 3 as long as I can still catch up with all my friends from high school who are still involved in pyramid schemes and get tagged in pictures of people from like Yemen selling Yeezys, I'm all in on Facebook no matter what.

Speaker 3 That's a great. And the Minions memes are worth the price of admission alone.

Speaker 3 Before we get to our good friend, Meta World Sandiford.

Speaker 1 I'm not going back to college to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber One for students.
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Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on a very, very special guest.

Speaker 1 You may know him as Ron Artest or MetaWorld Peace. He goes by Meta Sandiford Artest Artest now.

Speaker 1 And he has a new show out called Metaphorically Speaking. It is talking to actors and entrepreneurs and athletes, talking about their craft.
Meta, thank you for joining us. We're very excited.

Speaker 1 So let's start with the show. What made you decide to jump into the content game and get involved in this type of show?

Speaker 9 Yeah, you know, we had metaphorically speaking in 2014.

Speaker 9 We did about, I guess, like four shows.

Speaker 9 But

Speaker 9 after we uh recorded the shows we didn't know what to do with it so we just kind of sat on it and then um some people came back up to me and said hey you should do um do a podcast and i said oh i got a show called metaphorically speaking that we never did nothing with

Speaker 9 so um it was really easy an easy name we already had like some content

Speaker 9 I mean, I always enjoy talking on podcast type formats, but

Speaker 9 now we get a chance to really,

Speaker 9 you know, to really get it going. We're only doing like 10 episodes.

Speaker 1 That's, it is definitely one of those names that, like, the show name, you kind of have to do the show, it writes itself.

Speaker 9 Yeah, it does.

Speaker 1 So, who's your

Speaker 3 dream guest for metaphorically speaking? Who do you really want to talk to? Um,

Speaker 9 dream guests, I probably would say

Speaker 9 there's so many interesting people, but if I go back to when I really

Speaker 9 was, you know, when I idolized people as a younger adult or even an older teen, it would be Holly Halle Berry, Will Smith,

Speaker 9 Tom Hanks, Demi Moore,

Speaker 9 Mike Tyson. I did Mike Tyson already.
But I remember as a kid growing up and, you know, those being my favorite, like, you know, entertainers, actors, and stuff.

Speaker 9 So I think that would be cool.

Speaker 3 I'd also like to talk to Halle Berry for the record.

Speaker 1 I agree with you.

Speaker 9 Yeah, I agree with myself too.

Speaker 1 So you've been in the news recently too, because you had the Netflix untold story Mouse the Palace come out. What has been the response from that?

Speaker 1 Because I would imagine after watching it, like, have people come up to you and like, hey, man, I'm sorry that, you know, it was spun in a certain way, or, you know, it was obviously an unfortunate event, but it's crazy to now finally get the full truth from everyone's perspective who was involved.

Speaker 9 Yeah, I mean, it was interesting because when it happened, I pretty much,

Speaker 9 you know, took it on the chin and I just said, you know what? If I'm not going to be able to play, I'm just going to move on with my life. And that's it.
You know, but I for sure wasn't going to,

Speaker 9 you know, be, I didn't want to beat myself up,

Speaker 9 you know, for something that I didn't do. Yeah.
You know what I'm saying? So, I mean, something that I didn't start.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 9 So I just moved on and I didn't really care what anybody thought about it. You know, or anybody, I didn't care what anybody thought about me.

Speaker 9 But then years later, you see the full story i was okay with taking the blame or playing my part and taking the blame for my part but i wasn't okay with taking the full blame you know i i wasn't okay with that yeah

Speaker 1 it's also it's it's kind of crazy in today's like we've seen some incidents uh in in especially the nba there was you know someone throwing popcorn someone spitting uh someone yelling at i think who they yell at last year westbrook

Speaker 1 And the response is very different now. It's like the fans have no right to do this.
You got to protect the players.

Speaker 1 And again, like, obviously, the players had a part in the malice of the palace, but the fans were fucking

Speaker 1 unruly and crazy as well.

Speaker 9 I mean,

Speaker 9 it started with a fan. Like, people could say Ben Wallace started.
Ben Wallace had nothing to do with the malice in the palace. You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 9 Ben Wallace had, that happens all the time where a player fights a a player the fans started the malice in the palace and you know what I'm okay with taking the blame because you know everybody made a ton of money since then you know the league if you look at since then and they say it's a black guy it's not the black eye the real black eye honestly is like when they didn't let black people play in the nba like that's a black eye i i i'm you can't say i was like a black eye when i didn't even start you know you your best argument is the year before that when i led the league in flagrants of technical Files.

Speaker 9 Like, that's okay. I'll take that part, you know, and I'll also take like, you know, doing wild stuff and being detrimental to my team.

Speaker 9 Yeah, that's stuff that I did, you know, but the malice and the palace,

Speaker 9 it just doesn't make sense to me that they, you know, that they say I started that.

Speaker 9 Then, you know, the next day I lose all my deals.

Speaker 9 you know, and I was a higher level player. I don't get the same contracts as people, as my skill level is getting.
You know, I can't, I couldn't even get another corporate deal.

Speaker 9 So I had to come up with my own corporations, you know, just to be involved in corporate America. You know, this is like ridiculous.

Speaker 9 I had to build two C Corps just to be involved in corporate America, you know, with the exception of a few other companies that I'm working with.

Speaker 9 And, you know, it was hard because typically athletes, you know, they play well and they get deals.

Speaker 9 And that wasn't the case over here.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 So, so after you were suspended for that year, did you find it difficult to maintain a regimen of, okay, I have to go go to the gym at this time to work out.

Speaker 3 I have to work on this part of my game because you go from being in a very structured environment on an NBA team to having absolutely no structure whatsoever while you still have, you know, potentially 10 more years of future earnings after you get back into the NBA that you have to get yourself in shape for.

Speaker 3 Like, what was that like making that adaptation?

Speaker 9 Well, you know,

Speaker 9 it was interesting because Right when I got suspended, I was in tip-top shape. I was averaging, you know, 24.5 points.

Speaker 9 And then when I got suspended, I was in the gym. I was in the best shape of my life.
So I stayed in the gym, I'm going to say maybe for about two months.

Speaker 9 And then when I kind of sensed that I wasn't coming back, I took a two-week break and I kept working out. And then when, and then when I got the word that I'm not coming back at all,

Speaker 9 you know, then

Speaker 9 it was really heartbreaking because that year, my brother LeBron, the the year prior to that i was in the all-star game so then that next year you know it was somebody was going to be starting at the all in the all-star game and i was going to have a say in that you know because i was playing so well so a lot of legacy was on the line but it's okay like i said it's okay it happened to me and i'm very happy with me um

Speaker 1 you know it was unfortunate but it's okay you mentioned you mentioned lebron i had a couple of stories i wanted to ask you about lebron because you um

Speaker 1 you had one story where you,

Speaker 1 15-year-old LeBron, is this right, was cooking you that you had to

Speaker 1 cook. I didn't say he was cooking me.
Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 So that someone else said that. Someone else said that.

Speaker 1 He was cooking you, or maybe cooking other NBA dudes.

Speaker 1 And you had to knock his ass to the ground. Is that true?

Speaker 9 Well, one time LeBron, this is a young kid. I was, because LeBron is 36.
I'm 41. Right.
So I was 19 and he was 15.

Speaker 9 And

Speaker 9 he just was coming into this gym where Jordan was playing and a lot of other players were playing. And he was playing very well.

Speaker 9 You know, he was playing very, he was ready for the NBA at that point in time. And I was just like, wow.
So he was doing amazing stuff, dunking and rebounding, all types of amazing stuff.

Speaker 9 So he was coming at me full speed one time. And this is probably when he was probably about, he might have been 235 at this time, maybe 225, but real strong.

Speaker 9 And I just kind of, you know, kind of put a little forearm in his chest as he was coming to the basket.

Speaker 9 Um, and the ref called a foul, you shoot free throws in the summertime back then, so you shot free throws. He got fouled, but I mean, I was really impressed with him back then, and

Speaker 9 this is him right now.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no,

Speaker 1 it's crazy reading.

Speaker 1 I saw another story that you played in a pickup game with MJ, Antoine Walker, Penny Hardaway, Paul Pierce, and a high school LeBron, which is like, that's, if you're a fan of basketball, to to be able to like visualize that must be incredible.

Speaker 1 It must have been an awesome game.

Speaker 9 Well, I was in awe because Michael Jordan was playing and LeBron was coming up, but then you had Scott Couse and Walker. Barkley played one game.
I played with Barkley one time.

Speaker 9 It was kind of funny, actually. It was the end of his career.

Speaker 9 But, you know, it was, and there was a ton of, it was Michael Finley would play a couple times. And then some other people would come every now and then and play.

Speaker 9 Um, but it was intense, it was really, really intense. And, you know, MJ, he's bringing it all the time.
And, you know, I didn't know we were allowed, but then MJ told me to come back.

Speaker 9 MJ said, you're coming back, right?

Speaker 9 So that was a lot of respect because, you know,

Speaker 9 I was 246 coming into the league. That's not typical, you know, for an athlete to be that ready coming in.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yes.

Speaker 3 So

Speaker 3 you played ball at

Speaker 3 in New York City. You played at St.
John's.

Speaker 3 And I'm always curious why New York City doesn't have as good of college basketball teams as you might expect it to have, given the amount of talent that comes out of New York City.

Speaker 3 Have you ever thought about that? Or what was it that made you decide to go to St. John's?

Speaker 9 Well, I fight for the city. I'm from New York.
And the only reason I chose St. John's is because St.
John's is the number one college university in New York City, right?

Speaker 9 And I love fighting for the city. And I wanted to bring a title there.
I mean, we got to the Elite Eight. Before I got there, I think we had

Speaker 9 a 13 or 15-year drought from the tournament.

Speaker 9 You know,

Speaker 9 so when I'm thinking about that, you know, if you're a New Yorker, you're prideful.

Speaker 9 Right. So we get to the tournament.

Speaker 9 We should have won against Detroit Mercy, but we didn't.

Speaker 9 And then the next year we lose against Ohio State by two in Elite Eight to go to the Final Four.

Speaker 9 That's like so much legacy. Two points put a ton, a ton of legacy on the line.

Speaker 1 Yeah, two points.

Speaker 3 What was that like going to school in New York City for somebody that you were from Queens, right? Like you, you live, you lived here, you grew up here.

Speaker 3 I have to imagine that college experience for you is a lot different from a lot of kids that go somewhere else, and you know, they're hours away from home.

Speaker 3 What was it like when you were in college here in New York? Were you going home every day? Were you staying by campus?

Speaker 9 Well, when I was in college, I actually was in the gym a lot, but I would go home when I could. Like, if I had some money to get home, I'd probably take a taxi.

Speaker 9 But I did go back to Queensbridge quite often.

Speaker 9 But I was in the gym so much, you know, I didn't really have a lot of time to do anything else, you know, eat and sleep and basketball.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 What made you so good

Speaker 1 as a defender in the NBA? Because, you know, when you talk about different guys and their skill set,

Speaker 1 you know why Steph Curry is incredible because of his shooting. You know why LeBron can do all these things.

Speaker 1 But, you know, defense and rebounding are the two things that I always look at and be like, how is this guy that much better than everyone else? Is it just effort? Is it technique?

Speaker 1 Is it wanting it more? Like, what separated you to become such an elite defender in your heyday?

Speaker 9 I mean, it's the same thing like offense. You know,

Speaker 9 offense, you got to have some type of grit. Right.
When you think of Kobe, you think of his offense and you think of his mentality, which is just as hard as defense. So it's the same exact thing.

Speaker 9 The only difference is you're applying technique on defense. You know, I was playing at 260.

Speaker 9 So a lot of these defend wing defenders, you know, 225. All the best wing defenders that everyone mentioned, you know, 225, right?

Speaker 9 So carrying an extra 40 pounds, that's all technique because these guys were way quicker than me. Right.
So I had to constantly

Speaker 9 be in position to cut guys off and to not let them get to that spot. Because if they did get to the spot they wanted to get to, I couldn't really catch faster guys.
Yeah.

Speaker 9 You know, so tons of technique.

Speaker 9 And then over the years, if, you know, if you're thinking about how are you going to stop a guy, you know, a thousand times, a thousand times, eventually, you know, you're going to get it.

Speaker 9 I think I was gifted with strength and some quickness. And I had a ton of endurance.
you know,

Speaker 9 and, you know, so I think that helped me, especially going up against some of these amazing Hall of Famers. But I was prideful about the way guys want to dunk on people.

Speaker 9 That's how I wanted to shut guys down.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I loved that about your game.

Speaker 1 Who was the guy who was the toughest to guard that maybe we don't think about?

Speaker 1 Like, not a Kobe, not a LeBron, but someone that you always struggled with because they were just, they had some type of ability that people might not have recognized when they were watching them.

Speaker 9 I mean, if I go on order of the toughest guys I defended, and this is going to put, this is going to answer your question, the obvious to be first. right?

Speaker 9 Michael Jordan was the hardest guy I ever defended. Then there's a tie between Kobe and LeBron.
And then next would be Richard Hamilton.

Speaker 9 Richard Hamilton was hard because all he's doing is running the whole time. So I'm not a shooting guard, but I often guard the best players, whoever's doing work.

Speaker 9 So if it's a center, I go to the center. When it was Iverson, when I was in Chicago, I had to go to Iverson.

Speaker 9 you know um and and it with ripper rich hamilton all he doing is running the whole time And that's extremely tiring.

Speaker 9 I remember guarding Rip Hamilton and after the game, just being exhausted, just from chasing him around screen after screen after screen. And he separates.

Speaker 9 He separates so well once at the point of the screen, he's gone. And it's so hard to keep up with him.

Speaker 1 Interesting. That's a good answer.

Speaker 3 Yeah, because you're right.

Speaker 3 When you'd watch him play, we talked to Jim Calhoun over the summer, and that's, he kept pointing at Rip and being like this guy is just unbelievable he just doesn't ever ever no he's a different

Speaker 9 he's a he's a he's a he's for sure hall of famer and he's a different you don't really recognize it because he's not jumping over the rim but he's won everywhere he's he's been in ucon and the nba and he's an extremely talented player it's just hard to it's hard to really um respect like his greatness because he's not doing things like kobe or anybody else yeah it's almost like you have to play against him to really understand how good he was

Speaker 3 You don't get tired watching him play. You know, you get tired defending against him.
I heard an awesome story. I need to know if this is true or not.

Speaker 3 After the 2008 finals, it was the Celtics. They beat the Lakers.

Speaker 3 I heard that you walked into the Lakers' locker room while Kobe Bryant was in the shower by himself and you were like, Kobe, I want to play for you. I want to help you win another championship.

Speaker 3 Is that true? And he was like, yeah, sure, but how did you get in here?

Speaker 9 I mean, the story is like 50-50. So I was at the game.
I was before, I was playing with the Sacramento Kings at the time. So I didn't want to go to that game

Speaker 9 having the media think that I was, you know, pitching myself for the Celtics or the Lakers, right?

Speaker 9 So

Speaker 9 I get to the game, I'm wearing a Sacramento Kings shirt at this game. Now, meanwhile, this is game six.

Speaker 9 So LeBron James, I'm sorry, LeBron James, Lamar Odom, and Kobe Bryant, right, is there in his team. And Lamar, I grew up playing with Lamar.

Speaker 9 Okay, so I'm going there. The main reason I went there, and I invited my friend to go with me, because I've never been to a championship game.
And this is probably nine years into my career.

Speaker 9 So I want to start preparing for the finals because I know like eventually I'm going to be there. And I just, and I've never been to a finals game.
So I said, just let me go, look at the atmosphere.

Speaker 9 and figure out how I'm going to figure it out when I get there. So that was the one reason I went.
Second reason was Lamar Odom. So they lose by by 30.

Speaker 9 After the game, I'm waiting for them to come out. They're taking so long.
I go into, they let me come into the locker room. I don't know why, but they let me in the locker room.

Speaker 9 And I see Phil. I said, hey, Phil, man, great game.
And I said, hey, Lamar, great game. I said, I want to say good game to Kobe.
Where's Kobe at? I said, Kobe's in the shower.

Speaker 9 I said, dang, he's in the shower. And then,

Speaker 9 no, actually, I saw B, no, Phil Jackson says he's back there. And then Brian Shaw was right there.
And I said, hey, B. Shaw, where's Kobe at? And then B.
Shaw said, he's in the shower.

Speaker 9 He pointed backwards. So I just just said, you know what? I'm not about to wait for him to go in the shower.
I'm trying to get out of here. So I went into the shower and I tapped him.

Speaker 9 I tapped him on the shoulder. And meanwhile, he's taking a hot shower.
Just lost about 30 or 40 in the finals. Nobody's around him in the shower.
He probably don't want to talk to nobody.

Speaker 9 But you know me, I don't really care.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 9 I tap him on the shoulder. He turns around with this mean mug, like, who is touching me right now? And it was Rhyno a test.
and he's just like

Speaker 9 he was so mad but he turned around and

Speaker 9 you know it took him a second to think about what the hell is happening but i said i said hey my god i wanted to say great game i know we had a lot of bad battles but i'm a i'm a huge fan great game and then that was it you know um i didn't say i want to play with him because i enjoyed playing against him so much i think that like ron or test he was getting ready to fight whoever it was that was tapping him on his shoulder But he turned around He's like oh fuck It's the one guy that I probably shouldn't fight.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was it was it was really bad. So I mean yeah, that's

Speaker 1 mentality eyes Yeah, yeah, so then it you obviously play with him you win a title with him It was and in that seventh game you come up huge for the Lakers when Kobe was having a little bit of an off night.

Speaker 1 Did you did you feel like going to that game prepared you for a game seven NBA Finals? Or was it like when you got to this game seven, it was totally different no matter what?

Speaker 1 Because it was like, holy shit.

Speaker 9 I think going to that finals really helped me a lot. Cause when I was there, like people know it's no secret that I had anxiety and depression.
That's no secret, right?

Speaker 9 So, and also no secret that I was a tough player. But let's just focus on being a tough player and let's remove anxiety from this equation, right?

Speaker 9 And if you don't have the experience, you're going to be thinking, oh my goodness, if I missed a shot, what's going to happen?

Speaker 9 Whereas when I went into that finals, I didn't have a ton of good games, but it didn't affect me. You know, I just continued to just play.
And I think in 2008, it helped me tremendously.

Speaker 1 And that finals, that game seven, like, don't take this the wrong way, because you could score too, but

Speaker 1 that was a game built for Ron Artest. I remember, like, that was a rock fight in the best sense of the world.
Oh, you know what I mean? Like, what was it? Yeah, I'm looking up right now.

Speaker 1 83-79 was the finals. Like, that's incredible thinking about where the NBA is today.

Speaker 9 Well, it didn't matter.

Speaker 9 I think if you look at when I was in my prime and you look at all the other games, a lot of high-scoring games, but even when we lost to the Celtics, I mean, to the Detroit Pistons in 2004, that score was 71 to 67.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 9 To go to the finals. Yeah.

Speaker 9 And if you look at even when we lost to the Lakers the year before we won the championship, game seven, when I was with the Rockets, and we took them to game seven, they beat us by

Speaker 9 17 points. No, 19 points.
The score was 89 to 70.

Speaker 1 That's crazy. See what I'm saying? Yeah.

Speaker 1 So, yeah.

Speaker 9 I know how to make the game

Speaker 1 ugly. Right.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 How do you do that?

Speaker 3 How do you make a game ugly? If you're playing against a guy like James Harden and you know, he's trying to make it ugly, but in a way that benefits him on offense. He knows all the tricks.

Speaker 1 Right, right.

Speaker 3 How do you make it ugly in a way that benefits the defense? How do you muck it up?

Speaker 9 Well, tons of deflections. I used to lead in Indiana, they kept deflection stats.
I led my team by far in deflections.

Speaker 9 Lots of deflections all the time, deflecting on top of stale. So you're just stopping the clock.
You know,

Speaker 9 you can't really pass the ball anywhere around me.

Speaker 9 Some guys will always say, watch, watch, Ron, watch out, watch out, watch out. All the time on the floor.
Watch out, watch out. He's right there.
Don't throw the ball. Don't throw the ball.

Speaker 9 And that, you know, all that takes seconds off the clock. You know, you can't just pass the ball to the posts around me.
You can't just give the ball to someone. That's when I was fast, not now.

Speaker 9 Now you can pass the ball anywhere in my vicinity.

Speaker 1 I won't catch it.

Speaker 3 You make a good point. So, like, we're taught growing up, like, if you deflect the ball out of bounds,

Speaker 3 it doesn't mean anything because they get to keep the ball. Or if you kick the ball, right? They call kick ball, and then we're told, like, don't do that.
You're not allowed to kick the ball.

Speaker 3 In reality, you're making them reset completely on offense. They have to inbound the ball again.
They have to set their offense back up and they have to try to run a play and get a shot off.

Speaker 9 Yes, deflections is big. If you can get as many deflections as you can, touch the ball every chance you get, just touch it.
You know, um, it takes the ball off course.

Speaker 9 You add that up over a period of time, you know, you done saved yourself some possessions.

Speaker 3 Yeah, just touch the ball as much as you can. Yeah, I love, I love that advice.

Speaker 3 And then, um, you know, after you won your NBA championship, I remember the post-game interview, you, the first person that you thanked, was it your psychiatrist or your psychologist?

Speaker 9 That's funny.

Speaker 9 So, um, when i when i said it it said i said psychiatrist now meanwhile i've never done this before i never thank my shrink national television ever but um i kind of knew well i actually i didn't know i was going to do that but i was so happy and things just coming to my head but i never i knew i was seeing i was seeing therapy a therapist but she was a psychologist she texted me after and she said met a um no ron a test at the time she said ron um

Speaker 9 great game

Speaker 9 Thanks for the shout out. But by the way, I'm a psychologist.
I'm not a psychiatrist. I said, oh, my goodness.
I'm really sorry about that.

Speaker 3 You gave her like two extra years of medical school.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah, I know, I know, I know, right?

Speaker 9 And she's not a psychiatrist. I was like, oh, man.
And then, you know, obviously there's a big difference, right? Psychiatry is MD medicine and psychology therapy.

Speaker 9 But it was actually really good because it, although psychology would have been great, I thought that psychiatry actually, even though I'm not a big fan of medicine,

Speaker 9 but I thought that it just gave people confidence, you know, to really, you know, improve themselves. So it actually really worked out.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I remember you saying after that, you were like, you know, my psychiatrist or psychologist, whatever you said,

Speaker 3 I got, I learned a lot of new tools on how to deal with some of the things that you had been going through and some of the mental difficulties you had had in years prior.

Speaker 3 Like specifically when it comes to basketball,

Speaker 3 what kind of tools are you getting that allowed you to kind of focus in?

Speaker 9 Man, it was crazy, man.

Speaker 9 So, if you look at my career, everything on the court, man, like technical fouls, when we lost against the Knicks, I throw the camera, I take the camera from the cameraman, break the camera, I take the monitor from the scores table, break the monitor, right?

Speaker 9 $125,000 fine. No, price, I had to pay for the camera and a fine.
And this has happened in my whole career. Look at the Detroit, the Detroit game, when we played them Indiana versus Detroit

Speaker 9 at the Malice, I mean, the Palace of Auburn Hills. One game to go to the finals, I elbow Richard Hamilton in the face.
Semifinals, they go to the finals and win it.

Speaker 9 Then you go, I get traded to Sacramento, I get suspended in the playoffs game again, right, in Sacramento

Speaker 9 against the Spurs.

Speaker 9 Uh, then I go to the Lakers, I get since I get ejected in game five. We take them to game seven, we lose game five.
So, in my mind, I'm like, I knew I'm a champion. I've won everywhere I was at.

Speaker 9 That's not really, I'm not too concerned about that. But the concern is I don't have no titles.
You know, this is what I'm talking to my therapist about.

Speaker 9 I'm telling her, like, you know, every time I get, you know, to the big game, I'm doing something to mess it up. And I say, I just don't want this to happen anymore.

Speaker 9 You know, we got to figure this out. Any little thing gets on my skin.
Like when I got ejected with Richard Hamilton, I mean, playing against the Pistons, Hamilton elbows me in the groin.

Speaker 9 I elbow him in the face. I get the referees see the second one, right? But you can see the full action on television, but you know, I get the tech.

Speaker 9 Then in San Antonio and Sacramento Kings, Jonobi elbows me in the mouth, busts my lip, by the way, but then I elbow him in the face, right? Boom, I get the tech, I get ejected, right?

Speaker 9 Then you look at the look at the game seven in

Speaker 9 Rockets versus the Lakers.

Speaker 9 My brother Kobe kind of throws something at me in the neck.

Speaker 9 I go back at him right i get ejected right so i'm in my mind i'm like okay like do you really want to win a title you know so that's what me and my therapist focused on so it was it was it was focused on um i was so competitive in many different ways and irrationally competitive you know so we had to focus on like where is the foundation at you know what you've been through as a child you know why do you have so much anger built up all this stuff and how can you uh improve yourself so you can be effective on the court?

Speaker 9 And that's what we were working on. Then, game seven came, and we I've been seeing her for a long time.
And the night before game seven, I said, Hey, I need you to come here today.

Speaker 9 And she said, Now I said, Yeah, she's like, I can come in the morning. She came in the morning.
We went to shoot around with the Lakers. We had, then we had a quick session.

Speaker 9 I was really worried about game seven, so we had a quick therapy session before game seven, and then you know, the rest is history.

Speaker 1 That's awesome.

Speaker 1 So, that's that's a great story of like, you know, persevering and and overcoming a lot of different you know mental things to get to that point and it had to have felt incredible once you reached that mountaintop i i remember the story of you just you said afterwards you just hung out with your like couple closest friends and spoke 10 blunts and you're like this is awesome

Speaker 3 that's gotta be that's gotta be great do you remember what you talked about i mean obviously you don't have to share uh but with a psychologist like before where you're like hey i'm feeling nervous i'm feeling extra nervous

Speaker 1 I'll tell you what it was.

Speaker 9 I'll tell you what it was. It was Paul Pierce.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 9 Yeah,

Speaker 9 I was worried he was going to get under my skin. It was that, literally, literally, I was worried he was going to get under my skin.

Speaker 9 But actually, and then Garnett, you know, Garnett is so competitive. So when Garnett talks a lot of trash, but he's not always talking to you.
Like, he's talking to the reference himself.

Speaker 9 And then Rashid talking trash too. These guys are super intense.
And that gives me anxiety, you know, being around.

Speaker 9 You know, I had different experiences as a kid growing up playing basketball. You know, it wasn't just basketball, it was violence and basketball.
Um, so, like, growing up, you know, I

Speaker 9 traumatized from certain actions.

Speaker 9 I get traumatized from certain types of people and intensity and emotion because I take it as, you know, you want to fight.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 9 And, you know, although like you could be in the NBA game, you're not going to really fight. you know, consistently, but it can take you all focus, you know, out of focus.

Speaker 1 so i i just the the celtics man that team was intense man and it was really hard to deal with you know it was really hard for me to deal with um spiritually emotionally you know um and i wanted to just be able to block it all out you know just worry about the game and you put it mildly there with basketball and violence because you you've talked about this extensively but you know when you were growing up playing basketball you watched a murder in front of you right like there was that happened in front of you and that has to have been something that changed your outlook of the entire game and how you played.

Speaker 9 Well, that murder didn't happen in front of me. It was a guy named Lloyd Newton, who we were like, we idolized Lloyd.

Speaker 9 Yeah, um, they were playing away, an away game, and we knew like they were going away, and we were waiting for them to come back, whatever the case may be, play some basketball.

Speaker 9 Then, word got back to us that Lloyd died on the basketball court, they had a fight. Um, somebody broke a chair, threw it through his heart, he dies.

Speaker 9 I mean, the neighborhood was in disarray,

Speaker 9 at this point. And then that's one incident that happened to us that scarred us for a long time.
And then we had other things that happened,

Speaker 9 you know, different places, different things happening on the court. You know, because us, we're going to go, we're going to go anywhere to play ball.

Speaker 9 You know, you're not, you know, if there's a game, we come in unless, you know, they shooting,

Speaker 9 you know, then we might not come.

Speaker 3 We might not come. It's interesting.
It's interesting, though, because

Speaker 3 it's natural. I think it's a perfectly natural reaction if you grow up playing basketball and there's violence that's associated with the game and fights that take place

Speaker 3 to still carry that with you when you play basketball at a high level. It's all you know growing up.
I think it can show you that it's a rational

Speaker 3 behavior that you have. A rational feeling that you have.
Whereas other people from the outside might look at you and be like, oh, that's Ron Artest. He's a hothead.

Speaker 3 And not understand the full picture of it. But from your perspective, you were able to like to figure out how to manage that.

Speaker 3 It sounds like it helped you out, especially against those intense Celtics teams.

Speaker 9 Yeah, I mean, you know, certain times because it was always intense, so intensity wasn't an issue. It's a gift and a curse.
You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 9 It's a gift to play with the type of intensity I play with.

Speaker 9 Only, only really, you know, only one time I've seen a teammate work harder, and that's when I got to the Lakers and I saw Kobe. And I'm just like, I thought I was working the hardest.

Speaker 9 Playing with everyone. And my job was to work the hardest.
And Kobe is different, different,

Speaker 9 different type of guy.

Speaker 9 And it inspired me, you know. But yeah, that was my thing was intensity, hard work.
Like, don't give up and get through anything, you know?

Speaker 9 Which, you know, like I said, it's a gift and a curse.

Speaker 1 Yeah. What would Kobe do on the court during those battles to like, would he help try to calm you down or keep you, you know, like if people are talking shit to you, how would he play in part to it?

Speaker 1 Because it does seem like from all the Kobe stories,

Speaker 1 he was hard to be a teammate with, but he also was a very loyal teammate and, you know, was there for his teammates when the chips were really down.

Speaker 9 It wasn't, well, you know, we,

Speaker 9 you know, I think

Speaker 9 day one, I brought intensity. Like

Speaker 9 my first practice, I got an argument with the whole team. You know what I'm saying? And Phil said.

Speaker 1 That set the tone.

Speaker 1 I set the tone.

Speaker 9 So I didn't have no issues with Kobe because i was bringing it um and and and that team that 2010 team everybody was bringing it that team so it wasn't that team that people were that that people refer to you know um but that's the main thing kobe that he loves intensity and he respects it um and at the same time i mean i just naturally like that so it was a match made in heaven honestly yeah who is who is the best coach you played for and maybe the worst coach and why was it tim floyd

Speaker 9 hey tim why wasn't Tim Floyd?

Speaker 1 You know, that's funny.

Speaker 1 We'll do how who's the best coach. Give us the who's the best coach.

Speaker 9 We can start with Tim. So, Tim was one of the reasons why I became a hell of a defender in the league for one.

Speaker 9 Um, because we did a lot of defense in practice, and he taught a lot of defense, individual defense.

Speaker 9 And I really credit him a lot with part of my defense, NBA defense. But you got to think about with Tim and R.I.P.
Jerry Krauss, they was running that show for Tim. Tim, Tim wasn't running that show.

Speaker 9 Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Tim wasn't running that show.
And Tim had a tough job because, you know, why would you not take an NBA head coaching job? Right?

Speaker 9 You get paid a lot of money and it's a huge opportunity. So, you know, people get on Tim, but Tim was not running that show.

Speaker 9 We had to run a triangle, which I love the triangle, but not everybody understands the triangle, you know, and we had to put in certain guys because we were developing.

Speaker 9 You know, then we had veterans on the team and they deserved to be there.

Speaker 9 Dickie Simpkins, Tony coach greg anthony um will perdue bj armstrong they deserve to be there you know and and get that last contract right

Speaker 1 so

Speaker 9 not everything tim wanted to do so you can't really blame tim

Speaker 1 um yeah and he had to do it right after the bulls yeah he had to do it after the dynasty yeah right after the dynasty tim yeah sim is my man like

Speaker 9 Tim, yeah, that's my guy. That's my guy.
I really like him.

Speaker 9 So then, you know, with that being said, I would say

Speaker 9 the best coach I ever played for, it's hard. I mean, Phil Jackson is obviously the GOAT.

Speaker 9 I mean, Rick Carlisle is pretty impressive. Rick Carlisle is like, he's a hell of a basketball man.
I learned so much from that guy,

Speaker 9 which

Speaker 9 I carry with me to this day, you know, because I coach a lot. And then I played for Isaiah Thomas.

Speaker 9 That was incredible. You know, Isaiah was more.
It was really easy for Isaiah because, you know, he knew everything. He was a point guard.
You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

Speaker 9 He had a great feel for the game. We had a great staff.
Isaiah was amazing. I played for Mike Brown.
Mike Brown is very methodical.

Speaker 9 He's very technical, got military background.

Speaker 9 Everything has to be perfect. Everything has to be right.

Speaker 9 Great, great coach. And then I played for,

Speaker 9 I mean, I played for Rick Adelman was incredible. Rick Adelman is incredible.
I mean,

Speaker 9 he don't get a lot of credit for how great of a coach he is. But I mean, to be able to come to a practice and understand

Speaker 9 time management,

Speaker 9 understand how not to, you know, mentally drain your players, have a great practice, and your team is just flowing. It might look like, it might look like we practiced hours.

Speaker 9 Rick Adaman just knew what he had. And I mean, he must have been, he must have been a Michael Jordan, the coach, my honesty.
Because it was way too easy for him.

Speaker 1 It was way too easy.

Speaker 9 He's an incredible coach. A lot of people would say that, too.

Speaker 3 Yeah. What about your time over in Sichuan when you signed with the Blue Whales?

Speaker 3 What was your thinking process? Did they just have a nice check waiting for you? And you're like, you know what? Yeah, I could see myself living in China for a little bit.

Speaker 1 Or

Speaker 3 what was that like for you to kind of have to adapt to that whole new culture?

Speaker 9 Well, I would have never been there, honestly, if it wasn't for my injury. So I tear my meniscus.
Takes about six weeks to come back.

Speaker 9 I tear my meniscus right right before we play the Spurs in the playoffs. And this is the year Kobe's out, right? So I come back in five days, you know,

Speaker 9 and a lot of people argue with me and say, you know, you can't come back in five days, you know,

Speaker 9 because this, but I go online with a meniscus tear.

Speaker 9 The first thing the surgeon tells you to do is step and walk. That's the first thing they tell you to do.
from a meniscus tear.

Speaker 9 So I was like, really? You want me to step and walk? I said, then

Speaker 9 why can't I just play? They said, you got to give it time to heal. So I go online and it shows where you can heal from meniscus, where you can walk or run in seven days.
So I did a ton of research.

Speaker 9 I sent it to everyone to the doctors and they said, okay, it's on you. So

Speaker 9 dumbest mistake of my life in terms of my career, came back too early. I didn't hurt myself, but I was receiving a lot of fluid in my knee.
So I had to keep draining the fluid.

Speaker 9 The next year I go to the Knicks, my knee's not right. I'm only, you know, when my knee is right, I play well.
When my knees, you know, filled with fluid, I can't play. It's like that extreme.

Speaker 9 I either can play or I can't. So then I got, I left the Knicks in January.
And then the next season, at that point, I kind of thought my career was over.

Speaker 9 But, you know, the knee kept, it was getting better. So then China called, you know, and then I went to China.
And then I went to Italy after that. And my knee was, it got better.

Speaker 9 It took me about two years to fully heal, and then I finished my career with the Lakers, right?

Speaker 3 The uh, the nickname the pandas friend, yeah, when you were over in China.

Speaker 1 That's why I asked, I like

Speaker 1 that nickname.

Speaker 3 How did you give yourself that nickname, or is it?

Speaker 9 So, my daughter loved pandas, right? So, my daughter loved pandas, and I hadn't, I had a brand, I'm always trying to stay close to my kids.

Speaker 9 So, I said, Let's just do a brand together, you know, we called the Pandas Friend, right?

Speaker 9 And then, literally, when I named it the Pandas Friend, like a month later, or maybe two weeks later, I get a call from the Sichuan Blue Ells, which said, We would love for you to come play for China.

Speaker 9 So, I didn't change my name because I went to China, or and I didn't change my name, but it was a brand. It's not even, it was never my name, it was just the name of a clothing line.

Speaker 9 Um, which is you know, it was a fun, a fun little clothing line, which sometimes you know it sells on Shopify.

Speaker 1 So, the um story about your knee that pretty much tells us maybe don't use WebMD to uh decide how to recover from a knee injury-that's a good life lesson, too.

Speaker 9 I mean,

Speaker 9 well,

Speaker 9 you know, you know, you could use WebMD, but I used it for my advantage, honestly, because I felt like I knew. I mean, I'm always thinking about a title.
We had one, I want another one.

Speaker 9 I mean, we had a great team. We had Steve Nash, Dwight Howard.
I didn't know if I was going to be able to play with these guys again. And for sure, we did.
Those guys, Nash retired.

Speaker 9 You know, they broke it. They broke it up.
And, you know, I was in the playoffs, you know, with Nash, Howard, Powell, Kobe was hurt.

Speaker 9 And I got a chance to, we got swept by the Spurs, and I was on one leg.

Speaker 9 But it was great. You know, it was a great experience.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Isn't it crazy to think, like, you're the same age as Yodanis Haslam, and I think that Udonis Haslam is going to play for like five more years.

Speaker 3 He's just going to like stay at the end of the bench for the heat.

Speaker 3 If you had to, if you had to come in like two, three games a year and give 15 minutes, do you think you could still play in the league?

Speaker 9 I mean, I for sure could but you know the league is it works like this when you get towards the end of your career i mean you can either be like haslam and you know the team can choose to pick you up you know um or not you know and if not then what do you do after that you know do you go overseas or do you just retire and stay home you know and I was you know my last game in Stapleson I had 18 in the second half

Speaker 9 you know

Speaker 9 so I could play but I was trying to still play, but, you know, I just couldn't make it. I just couldn't be on the team.
I mean, name how many people scored 18 in the second half?

Speaker 9 You know, and, you know,

Speaker 9 actually,

Speaker 9 the games I, towards the end of my career, I wasn't playing. I was mentoring for one, the last two years.
I wasn't playing.

Speaker 9 But then, you know, when my career was almost over, they decided to play me. The last five games, we went 5-0.

Speaker 9 You know, my last five games. And I'm happy with that.
You know, we won five, had 18 in the second half to end my career in Staples Center.

Speaker 9 Um, for sure, I can play, but you know, that's one thing. The other thing is, a team would have to say, hey, we would like you on our team.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah,

Speaker 1 yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Um, this has been awesome. We thank you so much.
I had one last question. So, everyone, go check out Metaphorically Speaking for more great stories from Meta.
Uh, the last question: I believe you. I

Speaker 1 am a big believer in this what happened to you, but I'd like to hear from your own words. You were touched inappropriately by a ghost.

Speaker 9 That was a joke.

Speaker 1 Damn. Come on.
But that's.

Speaker 3 Kesha. Kesha had sex with a ghost too.
Yeah. Very popular thing.

Speaker 1 And that's the Oklahoma City Hotel that everyone says is haunted.

Speaker 9 I know. I was like, oh, did you touch me? But you know what did happen?

Speaker 9 So I was there in the hotel, right? So it's no wind, no windows are open. I was in the hotel for two hours at this point.
And then I feel something go like this.

Speaker 9 And we all know like what an itch feels like, right? It's like, oh, I got an itch.

Speaker 9 That wasn't an itch. That was a wind that blew right across my forehead.
And I was like, okay.

Speaker 9 I just went, I said,

Speaker 9 I already know what it is.

Speaker 1 It's a ghost. So you did get touched by a ghost.
But you did get touched by a ghost.

Speaker 9 Not inappropriately.

Speaker 1 Okay, that part might be a little bit embellished, embellished, but you were touched by a ghost.

Speaker 3 It sounds like when your aunt pinches your cheek.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you were touched by a ghost.

Speaker 9 It had to be.

Speaker 9 What else could that have been?

Speaker 1 It was a ghost. It's definitely a ghost.
It was a ghost. Yes.
But we appreciate it, man. This has been really awesome.
And anytime you're in New York City, back in New York, definitely stop by.

Speaker 1 We'd love to have you back on.

Speaker 9 And I just want to apologize. And pardon my take if I said anything.

Speaker 1 You did not. That was a great interview.
That was a lot of fun. Seriously.

Speaker 3 I enjoyed it. Seriously, when you're in New York, come to the studio.
We're right across from MSG. So stop in.
We'd love to talk to you in person. Yeah.

Speaker 9 Okay. I will for sure come by, and thanks a lot.
It was great being on your show.

Speaker 1 All right. Thanks so much.
See ya.

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Speaker 3 Now here is Usain Bolt.

Speaker 9 And now for something completely different.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest.

Speaker 1 You know him very, very well because he's an Olympic legend, absolute legend. It's Hussain Bolt.
He is joining us because he's working with Sprint Ray,

Speaker 1 which is democratizing dentistry through the launch of the Bolt Labs powered by Sprint Ray. So let's talk about that real quick before we get into other stuff.
What exactly is this initiative?

Speaker 1 Because it sounds very cool, even though I hate going to the dentist.

Speaker 5 You can, man, you can hate going to the dentist necessarily. You know what I mean? But I guess a lot of people are afraid of the dentist, but it's very important.

Speaker 5 But for me, this initiative is important because a lot of people in Jamaica, it's hard for them to actually get to the dentist. You know what I mean?

Speaker 5 I'm from the rural area, so I understand the need for this. And this is why when

Speaker 5 Sprintway approached us, I was excited about this because for me, I'm trying to build a legacy outside of sports. And this is something that I'm excited about building because

Speaker 5 we're in the rural area, you have to travel miles upon miles to get to the dentist. So, if we can get a mobile truck to get to these people, it's very important, and I'm happy to be a part of this.

Speaker 3 So, how does it work? Somebody uses Sprint Ray and then it contacts a dentist for them who then is able to drive out to their actual house?

Speaker 5 We'll have

Speaker 5 a truck, a bus, whatever, with all the dentists on it, and then we'll go to the people. We'll get to travel through different rural areas.

Speaker 1 We probably put out a schedules so people know this is where we're going to be on this stage this so it's easier for people to access and for them to get to the mentors okay very cool um so i have a very dumb question but listeners to our show know that i usually ask this uh when we have certain athletes on how cool is it to be that fast because i'm not a fast guy like is there is it just the coolest feeling in the world to just be faster than everyone all the time yeah definitely trust me it's something that i always smile about when i think about it like anybody that comes up to me and want to race i'm like nico you like

Speaker 3 you know i mean so it's definitely a cool bias yeah are you the fastest person who has ever lived in the history of the planet

Speaker 5 yeah that's the one thing that cannot be stupid

Speaker 3 That's such a cool thing to say. Like, I am the best.
I'm definitively the best at doing something out of the billions and billions and billions of people that have ever walked on this earth. Exactly.

Speaker 5 It's a titan that's just wonderful now and it stands out. And I'm very proud of it.
I worked for that. So yeah.

Speaker 3 So how much faster can humans get at this point? Because it's always something interesting to project.

Speaker 3 Obviously, it's not going to be possible for anybody to run a hundred meters in five seconds, right? The human body just probably isn't capable of ever reaching that point.

Speaker 3 But how much faster can people get?

Speaker 1 You never know.

Speaker 5 You know what I mean?

Speaker 5 For me, the possibility

Speaker 5 and they keep trying to figure out ways because now, even the other day, they actually came out with new spikes that helps you to actually run faster, you know what I mean?

Speaker 5 So, you never know what's next, you know what I mean? So, for me, the possibility is endless right now because

Speaker 1 everything is getting better and better, you know what I mean?

Speaker 5 So, it's just levels.

Speaker 3 Can we say that the person who will break nine seconds has been born already?

Speaker 5 Maybe one of my sons.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 I think you named your son Lightning, right?

Speaker 5 No, my son is Thunder.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Thunder. Thunder, Thunder.

Speaker 1 The one thing I love,

Speaker 1 the story that I read, you've never run a mile, right? You've never run a distance of a mile. No.
That's awesome.

Speaker 1 So what's the longest you've run?

Speaker 5 For me, I've gone to 800 meters just in training, just for work, but I've never gone past 800 meters. And it was, they forced me to do it.
I didn't want to.

Speaker 1 Wait, so not even a jog? You've never run a jog mile or two miles?

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 5 I've tried, but my calf, there's a thing, and scleriosis, I agree with an scliosis.

Speaker 5 When I run for long distances, my back gets kite.

Speaker 5 And then it's like, yeah.

Speaker 5 So I avoid running.

Speaker 5 long distances or even shot but when i was younger i did do one five mile run okay and then they forced me to do

Speaker 1 that's incredible though the fastest man alive never ran more than a mile um I also so I looked up I used to blog a lot more but I had an old blog from 2013 that

Speaker 1 I don't know if you could fact check this but you ate a hundred chicken nuggets a day leading up to the Beijing Olympics

Speaker 5 it was it was wild I was there it wasn't a league enough

Speaker 5 When I got to China,

Speaker 5 it was, the food was not something that I liked. You know what I mean? And in the village, if you know the village, they have like

Speaker 5 a canteen, like it's massive. So it has all kind of different foods from like Asia and India and everywhere.
And they had McDonald's in there. And I knew McDonald's.

Speaker 5 I was like, you know what, to be safe,

Speaker 5 just have chicken onions. So I had a lot of chicken nuggets.
that whole entire time I was there.

Speaker 1 So this is like, I mean, you're the best because you're basically you're the fastest man alive. You won all these gold medals.
You eat 100 chicken nuggets a day. You don't run more than a mile.

Speaker 1 That is, you're the people's champion. That is the key.
Yeah. This is key.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's very impressive. What do you think about the most recent world champion, Olympic champion, Sprenner Jacobs, the Italian guy?

Speaker 3 It seems, from an outsider's point of view, seems interesting that a guy that has never broken 10 seconds before is now, you know, the Olympic gold medalist. Again, I'm not a doctor.

Speaker 3 It just seems very interesting.

Speaker 5 For me,

Speaker 5 it's all about the moment. You know what I mean? At times people get flustered in the moment because to tell the truth, I was surprised too.

Speaker 5 But showing up on that line, and some people are race, some people are not. Trust me, it's be at the Olympic finals and know that the race could be anybody's race.

Speaker 5 It plays on your mind as an athlete because this is the first time. I'm not there to compete.
So now everybody's saying, who's going to win? And the pressure is on everybody in that race.

Speaker 1 So I think he was just more mentally prepared. You know what I mean?

Speaker 5 And the other thing is that the track, the tracks that they're making, the major is always very good tracks. Trust me.

Speaker 3 Yeah, the track was really fast last year.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's the part that we didn't realize, too, that like the different tracks in each one in the Olympics, they want you to break records.

Speaker 1 So they make the track like better and more conducive to running faster times every every like new Olympics.

Speaker 5 Yeah, definitely. They're trying to figure out ways to make the tracks better, so it's better for sprinting and for running fast.
So,

Speaker 5 but for some reason, I think

Speaker 5 Asia, like Japan, and China, they're always excellent tracks, and I always enjoy competing on it.

Speaker 1 Um, so you've been retired for a little bit now. Can you, like, if you just ran 100 meters today, how fast would you be?

Speaker 5 I have no idea. I have no idea right now.

Speaker 5 I mean, I've been just traveling and drinking and living.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 I mean, that's a good life. But I wonder, like, you don't lose all of it.
You would still be very, very fast. That is,

Speaker 5 I'd be, I'd still be fast. You know, I still,

Speaker 5 it's just running the hours would be a problem. But with regular people, I'd still smoke anybody.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's got to be awesome. That's got to be awesome.

Speaker 3 So, what's the fastest that you've ever run in competition? Was it the 972?

Speaker 5 With the 9.58 seconds.

Speaker 3 9.58. Yeah, the 9.58.
In competition,

Speaker 3 Have you ever ran faster than that in training?

Speaker 1 No, no,

Speaker 5 because competition drives you to run faster. I mean, training is a shame.
No matter how hard you try to run in training, you want to run faster. It's always just in competition.

Speaker 3 What's the fastest that you've ever ran in training? Like, how much of a boost do you get from the competition?

Speaker 5 Well, it's big. You know what I mean? Like, I probably run like 9-9 in training.

Speaker 5 That's probably the fastest, maybe 9-8, but otherwise it's just slow times, you you know what I mean? Because competition is so intense and adrenaline gets pumping and you get down.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 I remember a couple of years ago, you were talking about maybe trying to work in some NFL football action, trying to get on the field. You think that you could be an elite wide receiver?

Speaker 3 Getting hit is a different thing, but you could be like a Deshaun Jackson type, right? Where you just run as fast as you can to the end zone.

Speaker 3 It'd be, you know, hu humanly impossible to guard you on defense.

Speaker 3 Have you taken any steps in that direction?

Speaker 5 It's something that I've I've definitely,

Speaker 5 when decided, but back in the days, they used to take receivers out because

Speaker 5 I watched the NFL. So I know they normally take receivers out.
So that's something that when they approach that people ask, I was like, nah, I'm good.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean?

Speaker 5 Because I ain't trying to get my knees blown up or anything.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, especially with your height. You are a Packers fan.
I'm a Bears fan. I hate the Packers.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So,

Speaker 1 why do you like Aaron Rodgers? He's the worst.

Speaker 5 I would never say that Aaron is the best. He's

Speaker 5 out here down

Speaker 5 from very far with everybody for me. It's been Packers.
I grew up watching the game. I didn't get every game, but I got a few games.
But this weekend, I'm going to remember, I'm going to tweet at you.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 5 This weekend, when we beat you this weekend,

Speaker 1 I don't know about it, but yes, I mean, you guys beat us. I'm going to follow you right now, so I'm going to tweet at you

Speaker 1 when the Bears beat the Packers, which doesn't happen very often, but that's going to happen.

Speaker 1 I guarantee it. I'm going to personally guarantee it.

Speaker 1 So the Olympics, like,

Speaker 1 you know.

Speaker 1 The Olympics are to me, I love watching the Olympics, but it does feel like at times it's fading in terms of like the popularity overall.

Speaker 1 What is it in the Olympics?

Speaker 1 You, when you were in the Olympics, everyone was tuned in because you were such a big deal do you think the Olympics are gonna go back and forth in terms of popularity based on just the athletes or is there a fixed long term I feel like it's all it's always gonna be about the athletes you know I mean

Speaker 5 they step up and people are excited like Simone Bars people are excited to see her so people watch so the athletes really put on great performance and make it big then people will tune in no matter what you know i mean so that's something that's

Speaker 5 it's really make people want to tune into the Olympics and watch the Olympics. So yeah, something that...

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's also, I mean, your, your longevity and also Michael Phelps' longevity coinciding really kind of helped with, you know, those were must-watch Olympics.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I fully agree with this. You know what I mean? Michael Phelps in the water is just...

Speaker 5 a dominant force. You know what I mean? He proved himself over and over again that he's the best.

Speaker 5 And for us to be at the Olympics at the same time, every year people look forward to actually seeing us and watching and expecting this greatness from us.

Speaker 3 The iconic picture of you running away in the 100-meter dash, the one where you're looking over your shoulder, it looks like you're laughing at the guys that are trying to catch you.

Speaker 3 It's become one of my all-time favorite memes. You can put anything on that, and it'll get a laugh out of me for a meme.

Speaker 3 Were you actually laughing? at the guys behind you or was it just a split second?

Speaker 5 I don't think you can remember what was going on in that area. People are like, you're laughing.
I was like, I don't remember laughing, but the picture got the picture like I was laughing.

Speaker 5 So, and that picture kind of just blew up, you know what I mean?

Speaker 5 And

Speaker 5 I don't know. I don't even remember laughing, but maybe I was smiling.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's a great, great picture. You're just grinning at people.
It's almost like you're laughing at them because they think that they can be faster than you. And you're just like,

Speaker 3 I'm the one who's fast. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Because everybody needs to take a lead. So it's always fun.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I mean, the iconic, yeah, it's a very iconic, comic picture.

Speaker 1 So the

Speaker 1 relay,

Speaker 1 America sucks at the relay now. Why does America suck at the relay now?

Speaker 5 I didn't actually, it was actually this year

Speaker 5 that I actually took note. I've never really taken note that the fact that they never get the baton around.
It's always something that goes wrong.

Speaker 5 It was this year that I actually watched and said, let's see if America will make it. And they didn't make it.
And I couldn't believe it. I don't know.

Speaker 5 You guys are such great athletes, such great runners over there in Jamaica. So I never know why you guys never do good in the Olympics for what I want.

Speaker 3 Yeah, we can't do the baton thing.

Speaker 1 The baton.

Speaker 3 What approach does Jamaica take to a baton that America does not?

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 5 For us, I guess we don't practice as much. We just go in there and see what happens to me.

Speaker 1 I like that. Yeah.
We practice too much. Don't overthink it.

Speaker 1 Just be an athlete.

Speaker 5 Yeah, that could be it.

Speaker 3 that could be it right now it does make sense because like you shouldn't have to plan out for a hand how to hand a baton to somebody it should just be something that you naturally do you don't need to like train specific muscle groups to like hand a and we're so obsessed with sports science sometimes we might do something like that

Speaker 5 the only difference with with change of baton is that it depends on the people you're bringing to because you have to get a record size. So

Speaker 5 if you're bringing somebody that's really fast, you have to make a sharp marker because there's a marker for when they actually take off. And I think that's the only part you have to get right.

Speaker 5 I think it's easy to have a baton over, you know what I mean? Because you just have to be really safe. And there's the specific rules and things that they tell you

Speaker 5 as a baton changer. Listen, keep your hands steady.
Do not feel, because a lot of people do that.

Speaker 5 If they expect to put a baton, they start moving their hands around and that's how you drop the baton, you miss

Speaker 5 all these things.

Speaker 1 Yeah. All right.
So I have one last question. I'm very nervous to ask this question because you're a big soccer fan.
You're also the goat of running. You're the goat of 100 meters, 200 meters.

Speaker 1 So from goat to goat, who is your goat in soccer?

Speaker 5 Christian Aronalo.

Speaker 1 God damn it. I knew he was going to say that.
I knew. Are you a man U fan? Is that why?

Speaker 5 Yeah,

Speaker 5 it's partially why, but Chris San has proven himself from

Speaker 5 Manchester united to real madrid to juventus and now back at manchester united you know what i mean proven how

Speaker 1 tapping it in tapping it in just

Speaker 3 between the two

Speaker 5 you've got you are the goats of a combined 106 meters yeah listen being in one team all your life what does that mean you know what i mean is it like that's what i'm always saying that's why tom baby left new england to prove to the world that

Speaker 5 i'm the one that got those rings, not New England. You know what I mean? So that's how you have to do it.
You know what I mean? You have to prove to the world.

Speaker 5 Everybody knows when Tom won that seven ring, he was like, all right, what do you got to say now?

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? So that's why he left.

Speaker 5 He didn't need to leave New England.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 why didn't you run track for America?

Speaker 5 That's not a watch.

Speaker 1 Well, you should have. You should have won us some gold medals.
No, Jamaicans would have killed me.

Speaker 5 I would have been assassinated.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that would would have been bad.

Speaker 3 That would have been really bad. So, are you going to root for Aaron Rodgers when he leaves Green Bay?

Speaker 5 That's

Speaker 1 going to leave. Oh, yeah.
Oh, he's leaving. Well, then he's not the guy.
He's leaving. He is leaving.

Speaker 1 I'm actually, whatever. I guess I expected you to say Ronaldo, but it does pain me a little that all you care about is like tapping in from two feet out.

Speaker 5 Watch, watch this scene.

Speaker 5 Watch this scene. I want to do a recording.
Watch this scene of Messi

Speaker 5 APSG and then we pop out of it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's awesome. He's the best.

Speaker 1 Can you imagine if Messi?

Speaker 3 He's won literally everything.

Speaker 1 He's just getting used to French culture. That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 9 What has he done so far?

Speaker 1 He's getting used to it.

Speaker 3 Ronaldo has never won a

Speaker 1 South American

Speaker 1 World Cup.

Speaker 5 What he's talking about is gone five goals in four games without the penalty of my hat.

Speaker 1 That's because they don't play defense in England. Yeah, it's a completely different league.

Speaker 1 It's a farmers league.

Speaker 1 They don't play defense. No.
No.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Well, you have to go. I know you have a hard out.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 The league that Wessey's in right now is like the fifth,

Speaker 5 like the fifth

Speaker 5 best league in the world. No, no.

Speaker 1 League A.

Speaker 1 League A S S Bien. I love it.
I love all the leagues equally. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So, I don't know what you're talking about.

Speaker 1 Okay, perfect. Yeah, the Bears are going to beat the Packers, and Messi's going to prove that he's a GOAT, and we'll have you back on.

Speaker 5 Don't worry, this weekend, this weekend,

Speaker 1 I will beat you because I do it.

Speaker 1 Okay. All right.
Well, you're saying thank you so much. We appreciate it.

Speaker 1 Awesome thing you're doing with Sprint Ray and helping get you know dental work to everyone in Jamaica. So, we appreciate you joining.

Speaker 1 Thanks so much.

Speaker 1 Hey, what's going on there, pal?

Speaker 3 We saw you at the hockey game on. Do I know you guys? I'm Ryan Whitney.
I got a drink named after me.

Speaker 1 Not a big deal, Pink Whitney.

Speaker 3 That's what I thought. See you, fellas.

Speaker 1 I invented the thing, you pigeon. Pink Whitney for legendary moments.

Speaker 1 Okay, uh,

Speaker 1 let's wrap up. We got Fire Fest of the week.
Then we'll send everyone on their way. Great interviews.
Thank you to Usain Bolt and Meta World Sandiford. Hank, your Fire Fest.

Speaker 1 I alluded to it earlier.

Speaker 1 You know, I've been in a pretty spirited debate

Speaker 1 these past few weeks with Mother Nature herself. Yep.
The queen said wind was a fraud. It's not real wind.
Only tornadoes, real wind.

Speaker 1 And then I talked to my real mother, and she said there was a major storm in Situate on Tuesday. Oh, no.
90 mile-an-hour winds. Oh, no.
She was like, we were in the house.

Speaker 1 We thought we were going to fly away. Like, part of my roof fell off.
There's no power. There's no service.
That's on you. And yeah, I was like, I feel somewhat responsible.
Yeah, you should.

Speaker 1 And it wasn't like Situate's a big, like, because it's on the water. So it's always like, there's going to be a huge storm.
And then it's never really a big storm.

Speaker 1 People freak out and nothing ever happens. This was like not really planned for.

Speaker 3 And it was a huge storm. And Norister got you.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Did you ask her how far she thought she could throw a football in that wind? No. Well, that would have helped us for gambling, so miss on your part.
Sorry. Yeah.
Sorry, guys. Maybe next time.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Tough thing.

Speaker 3 Is your house damaged?

Speaker 1 Yeah, part of the roof fell off.

Speaker 3 So it's like the actual damage. You should probably be a good son and go up and fix it.
I should have asked that question before this football question.

Speaker 1 My bad.

Speaker 1 Oh, wait, we should have said, yeah. Is everyone okay?

Speaker 3 Was anybody injured?

Speaker 1 No. Okay, good.
Who could? Not I know of. That would have been an all-time rug pull on us.

Speaker 1 My cat actually got hit with the roof and died.

Speaker 3 If you mushed your family?

Speaker 1 Actually, she ran away. No.
Wizard.

Speaker 1 This story's taking a lot of time. No, no, no.
It was an old cat. It was like 100 years old.
And it was. It just ran away to its death.
Yeah, it was a hunter, though.

Speaker 1 It was like, we call it demon cat. Scout? It was a demon cat.
Whoa. And it would just fucking murk, you know.
It would just come home like mice, blah, blah, blah. She'd disappear for a few days.

Speaker 1 It'd be like, she's gone. And then she'd just reappear.
God.

Speaker 1 She was not like a house cat.

Speaker 3 She was a.

Speaker 1 Sounds like she could definitely take some wind, though. Yeah.
If she was still around, she would have been fine. Okay.
That's good. That's actually like, that's incredible.

Speaker 1 Like, cats, say what you want about cats, but I've heard that type of story before where, like, a cat, indoor, outdoor cat, instead of, like, having their owners have to put it down, just, like, walk away one day.

Speaker 1 She'd be like, that's it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because there were multiple times where it was like,

Speaker 1 the cat's been gone for two weeks, it's gone, and then it would just reappear. So

Speaker 1 it took like a someone like a fucking drama quarterback. I'm sure my mom is still like low-key, like, oh, maybe she'll come back.

Speaker 3 Name another pet, though, that could just leave the house and survive on its own for like two weeks. I don't think a dog would ever be a

Speaker 3 dog's mission, if it ever ran away, would just be find the next human and run up to it and introduce yourself. Yes.
A cat is like, fuck this. I'm going Rambo.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'll see you when I see you.

Speaker 3 PFD, your firefest? My friend first is I have a zit. Oh, no.
As a 27-year-old, it's tough. That is tough.

Speaker 3 I'm well past puberty, and I'm just convinced I'm going to keep getting them until I'm 28, 29, 30 years old. Brutal.
It's just bad. I woke up the other morning and my face hurt.

Speaker 3 Where is it? It's right there. I put makeup on it today.

Speaker 1 Oh, no. Yeah, man card.

Speaker 3 Big man card. But you know what? Damn.
All these

Speaker 3 glaring lights. I couldn't have it reflecting off there.

Speaker 3 But yeah, I got a pretty nasty zit right now. I don't know how to make it go away.

Speaker 1 I don't squeeze it.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I tried, pop it, I tried, rub some pepperoni on it. It's unpoppable.
It's an unpoppable zit.

Speaker 1 Bubba has a fire.

Speaker 1 Oh, Bubba, you got a fire fest? Special edition. I actually forgot about this.
I told Hank. So I kind of want Billy and Jake's input on it as well.

Speaker 1 So when you guys were gone Thursday, we had planned to do a video

Speaker 1 which Billy had planned to go mini golfing. And it was a mini golf thing that was made for like four-year-olds.
We did like two holes like you couldn't even fit at the point. Release the footage.

Speaker 1 You have to release the footage. No, I literally we had to stop.
I was like, I can't film here. It was all children.
You have to release the footage. I have it as black now.
No, release the footage.

Speaker 1 Blur the kids' faces out and release the footage. No,

Speaker 1 it was so bad.

Speaker 1 All right, you know what we got to do? You know what we got to do?

Speaker 1 I'm not cutting together this video. No, you have to cut it together.
We got to do, we got to incentivize people. What are we at right now on the YouTube?

Speaker 1 We'll do a YouTube premiere where PFT and Hank and I watch it for the first time and comment on it. We stopped doing the footage.
313. How many...
All right, when we get to 323.

Speaker 3 How many minutes of footage do we have for this?

Speaker 1 I have no idea. All right, when we get to 325, we're going to release the footage and we'll do a live watch with everyone.
And PFT, Hank, and I will sit here and watch it and comment on it.

Speaker 1 I don't even know if I dumped the footage.

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 1 What happened with the planning there?

Speaker 1 My planning was...

Speaker 3 I planned it down pack. I got the tickets, got no the venue.

Speaker 1 He didn't look at it. It sounds like the venue was the major picture.

Speaker 1 Okay, there was a video made there already.

Speaker 3 So it was possible to make a video there.

Speaker 1 How old were the people that made it?

Speaker 3 40s.

Speaker 3 Okay, so you go out there. How many kids are around?

Speaker 1 There are mini-golf courses. There was in New York.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 It was a very good, it was a premiere mini-golfing mini golfing. It doesn't sound like it was premiere.

Speaker 1 Text me the address. No, I'll admit it.
It was my idea.

Speaker 6 I saw an Instagram ad of it.

Speaker 6 It was Pixar putt okay so it's a pop-up it's not a real mini golf course got it each hole was uh modeled after a disney movie i thought it was pretty fun yeah it sounded fun

Speaker 1 i would like but it was our car sold the tickets uh we only finished the front nine

Speaker 1 so okay yeah we won holy billy this is so small it was tiny i'm looking at the pictures you didn't

Speaker 1 dude it's like look it was i thought it would be a fun idea for a video i'm gonna take my son to this and this is very small

Speaker 1 but what

Speaker 3 that doesn't mean that means it would be comically funny to watch us do it.

Speaker 1 So you were doing that on purpose? Oh, Hole 14 is cars.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, so you were doing it as a bit.

Speaker 3 It'd be hilarious to watch us do that.

Speaker 1 Except that we were on top of people, so they kind of couldn't even talk or make jokes. Got it.
All right, we'll watch it.

Speaker 3 So there's a Buzz Lightyear movie.

Speaker 1 I want to see this. I want to see this.
Have you guys seen it?

Speaker 6 There's a few Toy Story holes.

Speaker 3 Have you seen the commercial for the new Buzz Lightyear movie? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Creepy. I'm going to take my myself.

Speaker 1 Creepy awesome.

Speaker 1 Hard pass.

Speaker 3 All right.

Speaker 1 My Firefest is I think I've always had good vision my entire life. I think I'm starting to.

Speaker 1 Last night I spent an entire night.

Speaker 3 Do you ever have a gambling sucks right as you were starting to see the board?

Speaker 1 Yep. No, I actually.

Speaker 1 This might be part of it. I've been so bad gambling this year.

Speaker 1 You ever turn on your TV and you think that someone fucked with the settings? And something's like the ratio is the zoom in or something? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I spent all night trying to figure it out, and I'm pretty sure it's just my eyes.

Speaker 3 You should get checked for diabetes.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 Because blurry vision. Billy, you're the worst.

Speaker 1 This is like that time I had diarrhea and Billy was like, COVID.

Speaker 1 Remember that?

Speaker 3 Billy is a walking WebMD. If it was like after it, if you could edit WebMD like you could Wikipedia, that's what Billy's brain is.
You might have river blindness.

Speaker 3 I think I'm in this case, Ivermectin, right?

Speaker 1 Of course. I think I'm just, I honestly think it's just the fact that I stare at a screen all day, every day, and every weekend is 20 hours hours of watching football is probably not great.

Speaker 3 Man, that would touch grass.

Speaker 3 Imagine if you went blind and had to wear sunglasses all the time. That would suck.
That would suck. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Billy, you're Firefest.

Speaker 3 Everyone thinks I look like Buzz Light You.

Speaker 3 Yeah. I was just about to say, like, wow, it's a trending topic on Twitter right now.

Speaker 1 There wasn't anything about your tweet last night?

Speaker 1 What tweet? Read it out loud. Do a Monday reading.
Okay. By the way, I have a Monday reading for us that we will do on Monday if we have.

Speaker 3 Oh, I've got one too. What's yours about?

Speaker 1 Mine is. Three, two.

Speaker 1 Wait, hold on. Hold on, hold on.
I've got mine right here. I got to pull mine up.
Hold on, hold on. Where the fuck is it?

Speaker 1 Read the headline at the same time. All right.

Speaker 1 Are we doing the headline or just saying that it's

Speaker 1 three, two, one?

Speaker 3 However, she's a crown homecoming queen despite election violations.

Speaker 1 Okay, we're different. Okay.
Mine was the 37-year-olds are afraid of the 23-year-olds who work for them.

Speaker 3 I agree with that.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Did I write that? No, it was Billy wrote that. I read the first paragraph.
Billy wrote it. Okay.
Basically, being like, why are all these bros afraid of me?

Speaker 3 We might have to do a double Monday reading then because there's some shit going down at the University of Alabama.

Speaker 1 Okay. Billy, you're Firefest.

Speaker 1 See this tweet.

Speaker 1 I think it's a good tweet. Okay, go ahead.

Speaker 3 I'm going to get a lot of shit for it, though. Even though it was a good tweet.
Somewhere out there, girls with zero interest in baseball.

Speaker 3 Are rooting for the Astros because they think it might help their astrological sign. Now, wait, I don't get it, Billy.
Can you explain it to me?

Speaker 1 Girls

Speaker 3 who don't like baseball. So you're saying girls don't like sports, right?

Speaker 1 No, no, okay. Girls who don't like baseball.
There are girls who like baseball.

Speaker 3 What about guys that don't like baseball? Maybe who are also a fan of astrology. Yeah, so why did you say girls specifically? Because

Speaker 3 they don't have interest in baseball.

Speaker 1 Well, anyway,

Speaker 3 they're rooting for the astros because they think it might help their astrological sign. Okay.

Speaker 3 Because they have no skin in the game and they're just rooting for the astros because they're mindful of the same thing.

Speaker 3 And some of the players eat pancakes because they do pancake blocks. Yes.

Speaker 3 Can you put in a laugh track there, Hank, on Billy reading his tweet aloud?

Speaker 1 I did like the quote tweets. So, like, some people obviously were trying to cancel you for real.
Like, those people are losers.

Speaker 1 I like this person, though, who Alexis, who is mad about the astrology part of it, she said, if they have zero interest in baseball, why would they be rooting for anybody? This is dumb.

Speaker 1 Say you don't understand astrology and go.

Speaker 1 I'm a retweeter right now, actually.

Speaker 1 Like, just fucking admit you don't know astrology, bro. Look, man, there's the door.
When you're shooting from the hip, a lot don't come out the best.

Speaker 3 No, but Billy did a great job of, he said that he wasn't trying to appeal to his current audience. Yeah,

Speaker 1 which is, and that's still Caucasian James audience.

Speaker 3 You did an awesome job of not appealing to your audience.

Speaker 1 Right. But it still did well.
Or any audience.

Speaker 1 Studio audience. All right, Jake, go ahead, finish this up.

Speaker 6 Yeah, so you guys actually saw this a few weeks ago. It happened again yesterday.
I go in the the shower with my Apple Watch and it randomly sends drawing in eye messages.

Speaker 1 That happened? Yeah, remember a few weeks ago?

Speaker 1 Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Speaker 6 It's just bugging out. Yesterday to my friends, it sent a lion-kissing emoji out of nowhere.

Speaker 3 Just like the water, I guess, hits it. A lion kissing? Yeah.

Speaker 3 I didn't even know that was an emoji. I didn't either.

Speaker 1 I love it.

Speaker 6 I love it. So it's annoying.

Speaker 1 Jake's freaky like that. In the shower? Yeah.
Wow.

Speaker 3 Crazy. You got to start taking advantage of that.
You should just send like the most foul. I feel like it's an accident.
Sorry, it's a I butt dialed you. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 How long have you taken the shower?

Speaker 6 Under five.

Speaker 1 Okay, nice. That's that's, I feel like that's standard.

Speaker 1 Long showers have, like, I feel like that's a tough life they live because they just like I know people, you know, people who like get in the shower and they just lose track of time. Yeah.

Speaker 1 They're always late.

Speaker 1 That's you, Hank. They just like zone out in the shower and they're always late.

Speaker 1 I feel bad for those people. I don't think they do it on purpose.

Speaker 1 No, my biggest problem is that like I'll be like, I have 10 minutes to shower, but then I don't factor in the getting ready and stuff time after. Yeah.
So it usually is like a 20-minute.

Speaker 1 That's guy stuff. It's a 20-minute process.

Speaker 3 The worst part about having long hair, without a doubt, is how long it takes you in the shower.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's awful.

Speaker 3 What, Billy? Remember when I used to plan, like, when I started my shower to when I got to work as my commute and you guys called me crazy? Yeah. That's why I did it.

Speaker 3 Oh, because you had to take into account the fact that you take 20-minute showers.

Speaker 3 No, but just like... How long does it take to like do you shower with the frogs?

Speaker 1 It uses them as loofah.

Speaker 3 It takes me exactly an hour from when I start getting ready to get to work. Got it.
Okay. This is another good reply to Billy's tweet.

Speaker 3 Somebody replied asking a question: What sign would this be helping? Which is a fair point.

Speaker 3 And then Billy says, astrology as a whole.

Speaker 1 Like rooting for the league.

Speaker 1 It would just be helping out the entire industry. Oh, man.
All right. Numbers.
93.

Speaker 3 By the way, Army has less passing yards than the Bears.

Speaker 1 614. There we go, baby.
Thank God. That would have bought it.
69.

Speaker 1 Team that literally doesn't want to pass. Apes.
97.

Speaker 6 Oh, yeah. Reminder: Carler Murray's Mr.
September, October for today.

Speaker 6 Say it again. Kyler Murray's Mr.
September, October. You said the end of next season and Thursday.

Speaker 1 38.

Speaker 3 I don't remember 38.

Speaker 1 I don't either.

Speaker 1 Is it new? Hank just gone. Hank's happened.
This is our fifth time.

Speaker 3 Fifth time. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, you try to pretend like you have an internal remembrance of what numbers came out.

Speaker 1 But I agreed with him. I was like, yeah, no, I don't remember anything.

Speaker 3 To tell you the truth, the only ones I ever remember, I remember 47 and then 92 has happened a couple of years ago.

Speaker 6 Recently, April 29th was the last time it happened.

Speaker 1 Oh, so it's yeah, it's been a long time, Hank.

Speaker 3 Apologize, Hank.

Speaker 1 Has number 22 ever been called? Because I got a very troubling email from someone named Kevin who said, Is 22 in the lottery machine? I've been guessing 22. Take them off and take a picture.

Speaker 1 He said, I've been guessing 22 every show for months, only to be disappointed every time, including the time you guys did like 50 numbers for Blake of the Year. Please let me know.

Speaker 1 My mental well-being is on the line.

Speaker 3 I'm sure that there's a 20.

Speaker 1 No, I feel like he's right.

Speaker 1 I feel bad for that guy. I'm sorry, dude.

Speaker 3 I'm eyeballing it right now. I don't see 22.

Speaker 1 All right, we'll get back to you. Jake will do an audit.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Love you guys.

Speaker 1 Talking away.

Speaker 1 I'm to say I saves my life.

Speaker 1 Saves anyway.

Speaker 1 Today's a mind. I'll close my eyes.

Speaker 1 Day to find you.

Speaker 1 Shy it away.

Speaker 1 I'm coming for your lovers.

Speaker 1 Today.

Speaker 1 I'm all descending to see the mind

Speaker 1 for me.

Speaker 1 I have to be

Speaker 1 so a little hushed.

Speaker 1 We say of me,

Speaker 1 it's the way to conserve the song.

Speaker 1 where the arms wide

Speaker 1 wide open.

Speaker 1 We're long wide open.