
Metta World Sandiford (Ron Artest), Usain Bolt, Week 8 Preview, And A Wild TNF
Crazy Thursday Night Football ends in a wild play to end the Cardinals undefeated season. JJ Watt injury and the Packers are really good(00:02:11-00:15:59). World Series talk and a note on the Blackhawks horrendous handling of a sexual assault case(00:15:59-00:30:04). Week 8 NFL Preview and Picks and Fantasy Fathers(00:30:04-01:12:51). Metta World Sandiford aka Ron Artest joins the show to talk about his career, mental health, the malice at the palace, winning a Title and tons more(01:12:51-01:56:54). Usain Bolt joins the show to talk Olympics, being insanely fast, football and more(01:58:18-02:16:34). We finish the show with Fyre Fest of the Week(02:17:47-02:31:51).
You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/pardon-my-take
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Full Transcript
Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we have a twofer for the people. We have an awesome interview with Meta World Sandiford, also known as Ron Artest, also known as Meta World Peace.
I really wish that we had gotten to talk to him today after the Facebook rebrand to get some tips for old Zuck. Yes, we have Usain Bolt.
We have Usain Bolt. We have Week 8 Preview and Picks.
Fire Fest of the Week. A great Friday show sending you into the weekend.
We actually have another special guest in the studio right now. Yeah, well I was going to wait until we started the show and I was going to bring him up.
Whitey's here. Billy's dog.
He's now underneath me. He's now climbing underneath me.
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Okay, let's go.
Bye!
Bye! Okay, let's go. And then I can't blame all on the sun Oh no We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue It's part of my take presented by Barstool Sports Welcome to part of my take presented by Cross Country Mortgage Go right now to crosscountrymortgage.com slash barstool.
Today is Friday, October 29th, and I hate Aaron Rodgers so goddamn much. What a Thursday night football game.
A.J. Green with the run block of the year when it was clearly a pass and the last undefeated team is no more.
Pop that champagne, Mercury, Morris, and Frank the Tank. The 72 Dolphins keep it intact.
The Cardinals go to 7-1 also. So I was thinking about this.
I was very upset. I hate Aaron Rodgers.
The Packers find a way to win these games. But then I got a little bit of a smile across my face because Whitey, Billy's dog is here.
It looks like he's about to take a piss. He has roughly the same attention span as Billy.
And he breathes. If you were to slow down his breath and play it at like half speed, I'm pretty sure it sounds like Hank yawning.
Yes. Yes.
So, but here's the thing. So I'm mad because I hate the Packers and that was whatever.
That game was bullshit the way it ended. I was laughing, though, because while Whitey was running around the hallways, Hank was on his skateboard, and I just heard Billy scream to Hank, Yo, Hank, Whitey might actually be able to skateboard.
Dude, it actually makes sense with Bulldogs. His dog's never been on a skateboard.
But Bulldogs know how to skateboard. It's like like Newfoundlands just know how to swim through ice.
I think Bulldogs, they just, you put a board in front of them and they're gnarly. But he's not a full Bulldog.
What is he? American Bulldog. Okay, he's American Bulldog.
Yeah, but he, but like, I think you have to actually practice once with your dog. No, they just know.
He's like, yo, Hank, he could probably skateboard. There was a moment where he said that, and I kind of tossed the skateboard towards Whitey thinking we were about to unleash something viral, and Whitey just ran away scared.
Yeah. I think you have to actually train your dog to skateboard.
They don't just... A ton.
A million. But I do think...
Rob Dyrdek. Right.
There was a Rob and Bill. Oh, no, no, no, no.
I'm not saying... Let's just get this straight.
I'm not saying dogs can't skateboard. I've seen many dogs skateboard.
I think you have to actually work with your dog to learn how to skateboard.
Billy was just like, I think
he could skateboard. I love this dog.
I love having a dog in the studio. Apologies
to Jake who did take a Zyrtec tonight.
So in case you get all itchy.
Damn. This is Billy's
revenge for the David Busters
video.
There's a movie, MXP. Most Extreme Primate, and it's the snowboarding chimpanzee.
I love it. Don't mansplain MXP to me.
I know all about it. If there's a movie that's been made about an animal that can do stuff a human does, I've already seen it three times.
What's in that? Do you have a box of chicken? Yeah, I got a box of chicken parm that I made last night. Okay, good.
There was a chance that maybe that had been there for a while. No, no, I brought it in today.
I had it for a while. That's been there for a while.
No, it's fine. Whitey's safe.
But, yeah, back to the game. I think that I'm glad that the Packers won tonight, and I'm not saying that to get under your skin.
I'm saying that as someone who bet on the Cardinals to even cover the spread i just think i'm glad knowing that mercury morris is able to get drunk in peace tonight yeah and i i didn't want him to have to suffer throughout the year without having a sip of alcohol although i'm pretty sure that he probably just pops a bottle of champagne every sunday yes just hoping it was bullshit though because deandre hopkins got injured and no game should count if your wide receiver one is out. So I think that's a bullshit win for the Packers.
He did have the best play of the night, though. Yeah, he did.
DeAndre Hopkins, he did something I've never seen on a football field before, which is a wide receiver continuing to run a route as the ball is in the air. He, like, faked going for the back shoulder catch with both his body and his hands, and it worked like a charm.
It was incredible. He happened to just stiff-arm the wide receiver and get his face mask and dragged him into the end zone with him, which is one of those plays where it was cool enough that it just should have counted.
Yeah, but it was a crazy, it was a very good performance for the Packers. They obviously were missing some guys, and they found a way.
I just, it's one of those things that I actually would have this take even if it weren't the Packers. I know people will say you're being biased.
But didn't it feel like it was an unfulfilling ending? Because it was building up to something huge. And it's like, oh, shit.
I wanted an overtime. Here's what I wanted out of that game.
I know it was. I wanted overtime.
I wanted a missed field goal in an overtime. It felt like one of those games that was going to keep going back and forth, back and forth.
Right, free football. The Packers didn't use A.J.
Dillon. I'm very confused about the Packers' offense because they get inside the five-yard line and then they just forget how to run the ball, even though they were just smashing face masks all night, getting like eight yards a clip when it felt like just at will.
When they wanted to get it, they could get it. You've got a guy that weighs like 250 pounds with quads the size of Redwoods.
What do they call them? Quadzilla, right? Yeah, so you have Quadzilla in your backfield. Just let them get you one yard.
And the Packers probably did score on that touchdown. I don't know.
That was a very bizarre, like they didn't really review it. They did, but didn't.
That was a weird. There was a couple plays at the end where the refs were just like fuck it we're just gonna keep playing yeah like the first down the cardinals got uh in the red zone with like 15 seconds left that wasn't a first down and they're like nah fuck it let's just keep going yeah so the story out of glendale tonight i think is that kyler murray is soft he's a soft football player i haven't heard anybody the S-bomb on him.
I think he gets a lot of leniency because he's a short king, and I actually just think that he's a little bit soft. He did get rolled up on pretty bad on that last tackle.
But there were a couple times when he could have gotten an extra yard that was actually meaningful. It usually doesn't make a difference.
If a quarterback is scrambling, you get six yards on first down or seven yards on first down. But he's going out of bounds before he gets the first down on the final drive.
He's diving really early. And I know that he's got a small frame, so he gets lit up a lot.
Yeah, I was going to say, I have a hard time calling anyone soft who's his size playing against guys twice his size getting smoked. Oh, I have no problem.
That's my job is to just be a complete and total hypocrite and dickhead. So I have problem doing that i feel like i can say it about him because i'm yeah i'm short um the other news out of uh the other story out of glendale uh i don't know if you guys heard this but jj watt out for the season very sad but also at least we had adam schefter and ian rapapur uh i don't know how they got all the details about this, but a true superhuman.
Are Schefter and Rappaport just the Watt brothers' agents? Because we had the TJ Watt. Remember TJ Watt said, I got to go to work right after he signed his contract.
Then he went right into the weight room. This one we had.
So Schefter was like Cardinals J.J. Watt will undergo surgery, what is now likely season-ending surgery.
Watt hurt his shoulder in the second quarter Sunday and still managed to play the rest of the game with the injury. And I was like, okay.
I don't think he did play the rest of the game, but still like, okay, that probably was a stupid move, but yeah, we'll frame it that way. He probably it injured yeah and then Rappaport Rappaport had he had a multiple tweets where he was like what will keep JJ Watt down well how about this hold on I'm gonna find the actual one how serious does an injury have to be to sideline JJ Watt sources say he actually tore his labrum his bicep and, and his rotator cuff, and dislocated his shoulder.
Watt was playing some of his best football and helped change the culture
for the undefeated Arizona team.
Okay, as a survivor of that exact injury, that's all one injury.
That's when you dislocate your shoulder and it pops back into place.
You tear your rotator cuff, your labrum.
You can damage the bicep.
You can break.
That's what Baker has.
You can break the top of your arm. But that's a great great tweet i love what those guys are doing for the watt family yeah they're just making sure everyone knows but i've got i've got a personal attack uh it seems like actually you know it's not a personal attack this is a tweet from adam shefter hank you will definitely appreciate this uh it's the picture of aaron rogers of him after he took that after he got hit on that
roughing the pass penalty on the touchdown pass and uh adam schefter just tweeted out it's okay being the weak chinned no ass guy what yeah i don't i don't get it it just seems like i don't shout out hank lockwood damn yeah fuck yeah what was that uh he got sure that was mean towards He got chirped by McPhee.
Got it.
Oh, okay.
Got it.
So that was his response?
I guess so.
But, um... What was that? He got chirped by McPhee.
Got it. Oh, okay.
Got it. So that was his response? I guess so.
But I have a take about Aaron Rodgers and his helmet. I think that his greasy hair makes it slide off more.
No, he got chirped. No, no, no.
He got chirped by Rodgers on McPhee's show. Got it.
That was a direct response of what Rodgers said to him. Got it.
That's what it was. Okay.
Rodgers doesn't. He never puts his helmet on don't feel bad i think it's the grease hair he just doesn't put his helmet he doesn't snap it correctly he's so uh what what is the word laissez-faire uh-huh about all of his uh equipment i um and whole demeanor i think we need to do our last guesses on what his big halloween costume is going to be because he says that that's why he keeps growing out his hair and his facial hair.
I'm actually rescinding my previous take that he's going as young Michael Scott from The Office. I think he's going to either be Joe Dirt or he's going to be Happy Gilmore's caddy, I think.
Jon Snow. Jon Snow.
I like that. That's actually perfect because a couple years late, he'll think it's cool.
Fuck that. Yeah.
Jon Snow.ank billy john wick john wick john you just you just went john to john i i feel like that's actually not a bad call either though yeah but it's not enough irony for him i don't think i don't know he might be like this guy's badass yeah he also might just not be anything and be like you know what i mean like put on a denim jacket and be like, I'm just cool Aaron Rodgers. Yeah.
I'm cooler Aaron Rodgers. I could see Aaron Rodgers.
Actually, J.J. Watt, I could see getting dressed up as a young kid getting dressed up as J.J.
Watt. I don't know if you, do you really think that he's going to get dressed up? Do I have to read to you his injury again? He can have somebody else.
No, he's going to go as an injured J.J. Watt.
I don't... He must not have been listening, but J.J.
Watt, the J.J. Watt, he actually tore his labrum, his bicep, and his rotator cuff, and dislocated his shoulder.
And then played several plays. And got dressed up potentially for Halloween.
By the way, and I'm not making fun of J.J. Watt's injury.
It does suck very badly for him. And he was having a good year with an undefeated team.
It's making fun of Rappaport and Schefter, who have to, by law, they have to make sure that any time a Watt gets injured or does anything, they make it as badass as possible. Yeah, thank you for your service, Watt family.
Yes. We really appreciate it.
Please make sure the liner notes list every single injury and that he played several more plays. Well, one of Roger Goodell's many jobs that he has to do that earns him a nice, neat salary of $128 million over the course of two years is he acts like he is the United States military in saving Private Ryan.
So if you have two Watt brothers that get hurt, Roger Goodell parachutes in and just flies away with the last one like the fan man. Yeah, Derek Watt will be saved if TJ goes down.
I noticed tonight that Kyler, I feel like he got taller in the second half. Well, he got taller with the color rush.
No, he was short, I think, in the first half when he was wearing the yellow shoes, and then he changed the white shoes, which gave you an optical lead. It adds like two inches.
And it's also way faster. White shoes are always faster.
Definitely. Always.
But yeah, great Thursday night football game. Feels like this is setting up for a great weekend of football.
And we needed this. We needed this.
We needed this as America to have a football game like that. It was fantastic, even though I'm very upset that the Packers won.
And you know what? I mean, the Packers are fucking for real. And the NFC is fucking loaded.
Like, it's crazy now because when you think about who can win the Super Bowl, yeah, I mean, you throw in the Bills. The Bengals are playing great.
The Raiders are playing well. The Ravens.
But, like, all those teams, you're looking at them like, ah. But I think you feel pretty solid about the Packers, the Bucs, the Rams, and the Cardinals, and the Cowboys.
Cowboys, too, yeah. Those are five really fucking good teams all in the NFC.
I also think that the Seahawks obviously aren't going to be a factor in it when it gets down to it, but if Russell Wilson hadn't gotten injured, I would say the Seahawks are in the mix. They're a team, they're a make-some-noise team.
They could get in the playoffs and win a game. I think Russell Wilson will come back and they'll ruin someone's season.
They will not make the playoffs. Not with Geno Smith.
Not with Geno, but with Russ, they definitely will. And he'll be in game shape.
Somebody's going to get really pissed off about having to go to Seattle at the end of December. They'll be in game shape because he's been doing those practices that keep getting spied on by the national television cameras.
I also think that tonight we got our first real dose of is Thursday night football bad for the NFL. A lot of injuries tonight.
They had, they played that slow Fox injury music on repeat tonight. That was, I think it actually got played more than the real Fox music.
Yeah, I always appreciate those tweets from like the national media who gets paid to cover the NFL and gets paid well to cover the NFL because the NFL's a monster being so gluttonous of the NFL to play Thursday Night Football, all these injuries. Well, I mean, if the NFL could get away with it, they'd play a game every single night.
I would love that. You can't figure that out.
And we would watch it. Yeah, of course we'd watch it.
But I would also be like, this is
fucked up that they're making
these players play on Tuesday night. Meanwhile, I'm
watching every second of it. Yeah, I mean, we're getting close to
the time of season where we start blaming the
18-game schedule, or
the 17-game schedule, the 18-week season.
What's that going to be like in the last week?
In week 17, if there are injuries,
be like, this never would have happened. This wouldn't have happened.
There wouldn't have been any more football. Okay, we'll get to some more stuff.
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Because Charlie Morton breaking his leg, and that happened Wednesday night after we don't have a show Thursday. Charlie Morton breaking his leg.
Unbelievable performance. The fact that he kept pitching.
It was 16 pitches he had after that. It's going to be very tough for the Braves to win this World Series without their number one.
And that sucks. Yeah, but on the other hand, we have the biggest wild card of all that could come up.
And that's our good friend Uncle Chaps is coming up to New York next week. He has a full beard.
The Astros might find themselves in a position to clinch a World Series game. In which case, Chaps is going to have to get creamed by Boris.
Oh, yeah, he is. He's going to have to shave that beard.
When is he coming? I think he's coming Monday. Okay, so the series might be...
I'm full sad. I'm pre-sad, full sad for the Braves.
I do not think the Braves are going to be able to survive without Charlie Morton. I think it's going to go six, at least.
But if the Astros win in six, that's still full sad. It's still full sad.
You're bearing them.
It's 1-1. I'm not bearing them.
I just
know, like, if you're a Braves fan, you can't
feel great about the fact, like, if I had
said 1-1, you'd be like, that's awesome.
We got one in Houston. Oh, yeah.
But your ace is out.
Yikes. Especially in a World Series
where it's like you... You can toss the ace in in a later game.
You always go ace, like, all right, when you map out a World Series, you're like, all right, one, game one, game four, and maybe some game seven. Yeah, they might get in game seven, yeah.
You always have to do that game in your head where that's how you plan out the World Series, and now with Charlie Morton, unless he can maybe – how long – Billy, you're a doctor. How long does it take to fix a broken leg? Well, it was a fractured fibula, which is a non-weight-bearing bone.
Okay. So I don't think it's going to be as long as a full compound fracture.
If this series goes six weeks, he could be back. You never know.
What about the Rays and the Phillies? Well, if there's rain delays Yeah, right. That was a week off.
Sorry, no offense, Hank. Cover your ears.
If there's bad weather and the games get delayed, then yes, he could come back. It's a non-weight-bearing bone.
Did you lose on the under game too because of the tornado? No, but I have a weather update. It was so perfect that we It was so perfect that we've...
Weather gods have been listening.
We've been heavy on the weather on this show,
and then all of a sudden there's a tornado warning in Houston before game two.
It's like, well, that's real weather.
Yeah, tornadoes is real wind.
So, yeah, non-weight bearing.
I mean, he could try to pitch on it.
It just hurts.
That's the thing.
I've had a broken fibula before.
So just figure it out.
It just hurts.
Just tape it up.
Yeah, just work through it.
I don't know.
Soccer player would tape it up.
I'm sad, though.
Maybe the Braves will stun us.
Thank you. thing.
I've had a broken fibula before. So just figure it out.
Just tape it up. Yeah, just work through it.
I don't know. Soccer player would tape it up.
I'm sad though. Maybe the Braves will stun us.
Don't go full sad. You know what? I won't go full sad.
Bloopy's got a way to rally the troops. The Braves will shock the world.
You sneak a win in, you're halfway there. That's true.
Sneak a win in. All they gotta do, they gotta steal one.
If they can steal one with a bullpen game, I think the Braves can win this World Series. If they can steal one, then they sneak one in, then they just gotta win an elimination game.
That's not that hard. Anything can happen.
Anything can happen. That's right.
That's not that hard. They just need a couple breaks to go their way.
I just hate the Astros. They're so good.
They are just so good. I don't know.
Illegal. It is.
It's illegal how good they are. It does seem like it shouldn't be physically possible for Jose Altuve to go yard.
It always looks so weird. Like he's one of those little kids in backyard baseball up to bed.
And then he crushes the ball 380 feet. It's Pablo Sanchez.
Yeah, he's Pablo Sanchez. It's unfortunate.
But it's like it's almost – I get what you're saying. But I also – every time I watch him hit a home run, I'm like, it does make sense because he's so compact, and he attacks the ball.
His whole body, like, throwed at the... Dustin Pedroia.
Yeah, similar, where it's like everything that you throw to Altuve is chest high because he doesn't have a strike zone, so he just basically jumps at the ball and it goes out. He knows where the ball is going to be because it's such a small amount of space, a small amount of air space that the ball has to hit for it to be a strike.
There was at one point a little person, an actual little person or dwarf who was in Major League Baseball and he wore number like one eighth. One eighth.
Yeah. It was a fraction number.
And then the commissioner of baseball said we can't have any more little people because their strikes are too small. Eddie? Was it Eddie? might have been cardinals that's that sounds like discrimination to me eddie for the cardinals why can't you get a little person up to bat eddie cardinals little person eddie gaitle there we go uh-huh cardinals 25 to 1961 cardinals where he played for 40 years no that was his death yeah i know unfortunate r.i.p eddie Eddie.
Browns. St.
Louis Browns. Close enough.
He had one plate appearance. Also, PFT, you got to be careful with the word bullpen.
PETA's trying to change it to the Armbarn. Yeah.
Oh, my God. I'm actually okay with that.
I think that the Armbarn is a much cooler name for it. Armbarn is fucking sweet.
Yeah, but PETA, come on. Yeah, if it was anybody else delivering this message, I think it could catch on.
Like, Armbarn is legitimately... Yeah, it sounds like a UFC move.
To use a phrased coin by our good friend Tony Khan, it's lit. Yeah, it is very lit.
Okay. Sorry to anyone who...
There's a couple people I see you, I like you, who grossly over-exaggerate the amount of baseball talk we have on this show. I don't know if you've noticed this, but if we talk, we just, what did we do? Ten minutes of baseball right there? Eight minutes? It was eight minutes on dwarves and then two minutes on baseball.
Shout out to a couple people that will tweet us tomorrow and be like, another three hours about baseball. I like those guys.
Because it reminds people how long baseball games are. It's the exact same.
It put yeah every time we talk about baseball we should have a 20 second pause in between sentences yes uh pitches yeah um all right before we do the weekend preview as well i serious topic which sucks you know we had to talk about it but i should talk about it the blackhawksawks controversy, not a controversy. It's just a total fuck-up, terrible, terrible story.
Kyle Beach revealed himself as John Doe on Wednesday night.
If you don't know the story, essentially one of the video coaches for the Blackhawks assaulted Kyle Beach back in 2010.
And as far as I can understand this entire story, pretty much everyone knew and pretty much no one did anything except maybe one guy who uh I think it was John Vincent who was the security guard for the team it's a terrible terrible story it's a reminder that like you know we idolize these players and these you know franchises and a lot of people are very and also bad people. And I think that the Blackhawks should clean house.
They did clean house. Stan Bowman was out, but the whole thing is a terrible story.
It feels like they went years and years trying to cover it up. They did no justice to Kyle Beach.
Finally, he feels like he has justice. And I'll be honest with you, from a sports fan perspective, it does feel like 2010, it feels lesser than because it's terrible that everyone look the other way on a real human issue instead of addressing it and getting justice.
And the whole story is really, really messed up because then the coach then went to a high school in Michigan and assaulted another kid.
Just a reminder that like sports are not everything like the real when real things happen and real bad people do stuff speaking up is very important so i read this report and i was very confused why this person wasn't in prison already it's why why in really shitty. Why in the world, like after reporting it, it just got like bottled up and nobody discussed it.
And no charges were pressed against the guy. And then he ends up, you're right, he ends up going to a high school and repeating this exact behavior.
I'll tell you why. Because it's, you know, similar.
It's not the same as Penn State, but it's similar in that when you have high-intensity sports, people will do anything to win, and they will push anything aside to win, including human beings, and Kyle Beach is a human being who is crying for help, and it's disgusting, and the Blackhawks should be insanely, insanely ashamed, and that's not something you can you know talk away I know they had a tweet last night that was just so tone deaf again I it's an it's a total total embarrassment I'm happy that Kyle Beach it seems like he finally feels like he's getting justice but man is it is a bad story so I don't know what the NHL is going to do about it but I do know it always feels like a little weird and uncomfortable and and just a little bit off when something like this happens and then the league's response is like well we're going to punish your hockey team like we're okay well we're going to take away draft picks or whatever like there should be actual criminal repercussions for this forget about what happens on the ice like I don't want to hear about like them losing money towards a seller I want to hear about somebody being actually punished for this and you know it's it's hard when it's 10 years ago and people are saying you know different recollection of things the the approach i always take in these situations is everyone knew like everyone knew that's just it's if you've been in a locker room if you've been in a work you work community, if you've worked closely with people, those things don't, you can't be like, oh, I had no idea. There were absolutely whispers.
Everyone knew, and everyone should feel blame and be held accountable for it, and it shouldn't be a situation where it's like, well, he might not have known, he might not. No, no, no.
I'm going to assume everyone knew, and people should be insanely ashamed. And like you said, I don't know what the criminal status of all of this is, but people should feel terrible because they look the other way of something that they should have addressed immediately.
Yep. Agreed.
Yeah. All right.
So we had to address that. I did appreciate that one guy last night.
So last night I was watching Cars with my son, and I was kind of off Twitter, and I hopped on to just ask a question that I had been wondering about how the cars might date each other. And this one guy was like, how could you tweet something like this when there's new information coming out about the Blackhawks? And I was like, you can't be serious, dude.
That to me just tells me that it's actually, that person has the sick brain. That person is disgusting.
He did the whole block everyone, like changes Twitter, do everything when he realized how ridiculous of a leap that was. Yeah, no, in that person's mind, asking how cars fuck each other is analogous to sexual assault.
And as always, we talk about it many times on Twitter, but it does always tickle me when the Read the Room crowd comes out. It's like, you have seen this story that's very serious, and your response is to go then police other people's tweets.
And the answer to that question is the convertibles just take their top off. How do cars fuck in the movie Cars? Yeah.
They're all horny and some are clearly in relationships, but how do they have sex? They have tailpipes. In Cars 1...
I've thought about this many times. In Cars 1...
Do they have kids? We don't know how the cars are invented, but there are kid cars. But in Cars 1, Lightning McQueen and the Porsche, he sees the Porsche has a tramp stamp, and he's like, oh, I didn't didn't know you get down like that and they go on a date and all that stuff and it's like how does this what do they do? Well here's the deal kids some of the cars are automatics and the others have stick shifts and when they love each other very much you just you can drive on top of another car.
I also like the one guy who's like someday your kids are going to read these tweets I'm like someday my kids are going to fucking watch all my videos, and I hope that they have a good sense of humor, and I raise them correctly to know that life's not too serious and piss your pants if you want to. At that point in the world, cars might actually be having sex with each other.
Yeah. That's the next step for Elon Musk.
I really need Cars 4 to come out, though, because I've watched Cars 1, 2, and 3 a billion times. A billion times.
That's all I i do rank them uh actually i think i'm starting to like actually i'll save it for our fantasy because i actually have it in my fantasy uh fathers which we'll get to in a minute but again i i i am a father so i don't really know how to do that fantasy fathers fathers. I'm just going to be myself.
That works. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, yeah. I'm a fuckboy.
You're a fuckboy. I'm a fuckboy.
All right, let's do our weekend preview. Enough serious stuff.
What are the standings? Hank in first at 16-11-1. PFT in the hot seat at 16-12.
Big Cat 15-13. Billy, tip of the cap, 14-14.
Damn. It's working.
But he said he's quitting that. He said he's quitting, right? Why would you quit that? He's quitting, but he's trying to reverse it this week.
Why would you do that? You're killing it. Well, I'm at a perfect 50-50 how I planned.
So I decided, you know what? Maybe I'm just going to try to go win it all. 4-0?
You're going 4-0 this week?
I think I'm going to try this week.
Whoa.
I think I'm going to go.
He has, to Billy's credit, he's always said, I'm going to go 2-2 every single week so that
I can finish right in the middle and not have to drive to LA.
You are 14-14.
You deserve all the credit in the world.
Thank you.
So now 4-0 this week.
It's a long season, though.
I don't know why you'd switch it up.
Your formula is perfect right now. Billy, you can't get any better with what you've been trying to do and the outcome that you've achieved.
So what is your goal for trying to switch it up? I want to prove that I can pick winners. No, but you have proved.
But you don't want to win. That's what's so very confusing to me.
You don't want to win this. You have proved it too.
You've proved that you know the outcomes of these games by going 14-14.
Right, but I'm going to be honest.
The road trip kind of sounds fun.
So you're going to try to leapfrog and get into second place.
I'm going to try to finish in second.
All right, so you're going 4-0 this week.
I'm going to try to.
I'm going to try to go over 50% this week.
All right, okay, there it is.
All right, let's get to our picks.
I'm actually 13-15.
At the bottom? Yes. All right, rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. So Liam and PFT.
So Liam and PFT. Okay.
The whole group is separated by three and a half games. It's very tight.
Yeah. It's very tight.
Jake won. So you're last.
Yeah, Bubba, you're in last place. This will confuse us all the way through week 18.
It's going to be very confusing if Billy actually ends up going on this trip and finishes in second place because he's going to love being on the trip.
And chances are whoever's in last place is absolutely going to hate being on the trip with Billy.
KMS.
Making the trip even more insane.
I would hate to be stuck on a road trip with Billy and a good move. I was actually talking about the Kirkman-Hand show.
Sui Bird.
Yeah, that's fine.
I can say that.
I like that podcast. But also KMS if I have to go with Billy.
Don him come Sui. I think I would have fun with Billy.
I think we'd all have fun with Billy. For a day.
For a day. Yeah.
For a day. For one day.
All right. Let's do picks.
Hank, why don't you lead us off? Favorite. Your favorite favorite.
Hank is strong. Bengals.
Bengals. Okay, I'm with you.
Bengals minus 11. Okay.
I don't, I mean, again, I'm not a favorites guy. I don't like any of these.
Yep. It is a, it feels like a dog.
So I just basically went with, it does, it definitely does. It definitely feels like the Jets might fuck around and win this game.
But I just have to go off the fact that they look so god-awfully bad. And Mike White.
And Mike White is starting. As much as I love him, respect him, Boca Raton Bowl legend, I don't think it's his fault that the organization is a complete shit show and they're going to let him down.
And they're going to get smoked. I don't know.
It feels like a letdown. This could be a Billy pick that it's going to be a loser.
We never named an MVP of the Boca Raton Bowl, right? He got the trophy. We can do that right now.
He was the the nvp i mean with the winner of the uh winning quarterback winning quarterback winning team yeah it goes so now the i i did some numbers on this because they also signed flacco yes so he's not gonna be i was wondering he's he's not gonna be suited i i thought he couldn't join the team till friday because of covid protocols there's something with that flacco is gonna be in street clothes? I don't know. I'm pretty sure that there's something with COVID protocols that either he's going to just make it but not have enough time to get up to speed.
So this is weird because I looked up Flacco's record against the Bengals. You would think that at the time that he was a quarterback of the Ravens, the Bengals weren't very good, that he probably had a pretty decent career.
No, he actually has a losing record against the Bengals. And I think he's thrown like 20 touchdowns and like 28 interceptions.
No love lost. Just that's not great.
Personal reasons. So that's just he just has to move.
He's having another kid. He just doesn't want to move.
Yeah. This week, Hank, there are some underdogs that I love so much that it's scaring me.
Let's go. It's scaring me.
All right, Bubba. Help me with my hungry dog.
All right, Bubba. I'm taking Dallas minus one and a half.
Okay. Off a bye.
I like it too. Is Dak back or no? Vikings also off a bye.
Yeah, but they stink. It means more.
Yeah, it means more. But it's hard to do the off a bye when the other team is also off a bye.
Kirk Cousins off a bye in primetime is like double primetime. It's too much expectations on Kirk Cousins this weekend.
I love the Vikings in that game. I do.
I don't. I feel like the Vikings, and we never say nice things about Kirk Cousins, and I hate doing the like, oh, they shoulda, coulda, woulda, but they really did play, like they really could have beaten the Cardinals and the Bengals, the one seed in both divisions.
Like they were a fucked up fumble and a missed field goal against the Cardinals away from being 5-1. They also could have lost to the Jags though.
They could have lost to the Jags. Which is the things.
Yes. I know.
It's just one of those things. Like if they were 5-1, what would the spread be? That's all.
I like to play that game. So the Cowboys, I don't think, have they played a bad game this year? I don't think that they have.
The Chargers game was an ugly game. Yeah, but that was more on the refs.
That made it ugly. That was a bad game.
I feel like the Cowboys still haven't played a bad game this year. Yeah.
I also think that they are prime for a little regression because it feels like they just get three turnovers every game, mostly because of Trayvon Diggs. But it does feel like that's going to – anytime – I mean, a theme, Hank.
You remember it. Turnover luck.
Look, it's not just biased towards the Patriots. It's any team – the worst turnover luck lesson I ever learned was, I think, 2012, I want to say, when the Bears had – they were like 7-1, and every game they had to pick six, and then they just sucked because they stopped getting pick sixes.
Kirk Cousins 0-5 versus the Cowboys at home in his career. Fun stat.
Okay. But half of those homes were Washington football team.
Yeah, that's correct. Actually, I would say probably more than half of those.
Well, FedEx Field, that's a harder place to play to survive. Yes.
All right, your favorite favorite. My favorite is also I'm taking the Bengals.
I like the Bengals. 11 points.
I started thinking to myself, that's a lot of points, but then I reminded myself it's the Jets. Letdown spot? That's the only thing you could tell yourself.
No, I don't think this team's going to let down. I'm not saying that.
I think this team's going ham. The Bengals are in my can't-lose parlay, but that's the only you could find a world where you tell yourself let down spot.
I'm 50-50 on my confidence in this pick. It's not one that I'm...
Yeah, but 50-50 is pretty good for Hank and a favorite. That's true.
That means that you're like... No, it's 50-50.
It's either... I'll say this.
Bengals are covering or the Jets are winning. It's not going to be in between.
Okay. Alright.
All right. My favorite, I'm taking the Colts minus one and a half.
Here's a shocking stat for everyone here. The Titans and Colts have already played this season.
I just memory hold that. Yeah.
That's one of those teams where I think it's like the Chargers and the Raiders and then the Titans and the Colts. It feels like they play five times every year.
Yeah. Kind of like Portland and Seattle in MLS.
I feel like every time I turn on my TV on ESPN2.
Or El Trafico.
It's El Trafico or the fucking Timbers
and the Seattle football team.
That's true.
But yeah, I do remember this game.
I agree with this pick, though.
Yeah, Ryan Tannehill was gimpy, I want to say,
in this game the first time.
He was hurt.
He was coming off an...
Or not Ryan Tannehill.
Carson Wentz. I am...
I'm joining you, PFT. I'm starting to buy back in on Carson Wentz.
I rid myself of him, but I'm starting to buy back in, and it's a scary, scary thing. So if you're keeping score at home, I'm very confident in the Colts this week because I think Carson Wentz is back to being Carson Wentz of 2017 2018 whatever that was which means he will undoubtedly
throw like four horrendous picks right in my
face before he gets injured yes yeah
did you see Jim Irsay he's
Jim Irsay has his guitar collection
going on the road he's like doing
a traveling Smithsonian exhibit
I did see where it's his guitars and
Jim if you're listening I know that you're
an avid listener of many podcasts
we need to have Jim Irsay on the show come
by because I need to talk to him about his
Thank you. I did see this Where it's his guitars And Jim If you're listening I know that you're An avid listener Of many podcasts We need to have Jim Mercy on the show Come by Because I need to talk to him About his true belief That when he takes out An Eric Clapton guitar That That guitar still has The musical notes Inside of it From when Eric Clapton's energy Touched it Including his hate For immigrants Including his hate For.
And everything that goes along with it and his parenting skills.
Everything that goes along.
You went there first. No, I didn't go there.
I went with things he says out loud, not that. But I need to talk to Jim Irsay about his true belief in the spirit of music and how it can stay in instruments.
I feel like he'd be a Bill Walton type interview where we ask him one question and then he goes on for like 60 minutes and ends up talking about the time that he cried at Jim Morrison's grave. It would be great.
We should, Jim Irsay, you're welcome to come on. Billy, your favorite.
My favorite is the Bills minus 14 covering against Dolphins. Okay.
I like that. I think Billy Shilly's doing his sexy voice right now.
Also, shout out all the Tua fans. You've tagged me in enough pro Tua tweets that it's starting to corrupt my brain.
So job well done. I've just been tagged in so many tweets being like, Tua actually is a good quarterback.
I'm not there yet, but it's starting to work. I mean, Stockholm syndrome.
Here's how you can tell if you're still like, if you have the ability to buy back in on the quarterback, like the Carson Wentz thing. If Carson Wentz was traded to your franchise, the one that you root for tomorrow, would you be optimistic like we can regain some of this? And I would be optimistic about Tua.
I think so too. Against every single fiber of my being, I would doubt my own eyeballs.
And I'd be like, you know what? I remember that game against Georgia. I remember that one pass.
I mean, I'm sure you've had this happen where if you have a take and there's a very fervent little niche audience that disagrees with it and they start tagging you in everything. Like I've watched Tua's second interception probably 35 times now with people saying it wasn't his fault.
And it's working. They are corrupting my brain.
So keep it up. And eventually I'll probably just flip it and be like, you know what, Tua's good because you've provided me with enough stats that I can go around and argue anyone, debate anyone about Tua.
I love the guys out there that have the all-22 access. And then they wait till Wednesday and they show you why everything that you thought earlier in the week was wrong and they gaslight us.
That's what they do. It's cheating.
When they put this stuff out. Well, it's not always cheating because I still think that I'm right sometimes and they'll be like, no, this was actually the fall of the wide receiver and I feel like I'm watching a different play entirely than what they've seen and they're gaslighting America.
We should actually start a Twitter account. I don't know if enough on the billy has enough on his plate already to just like put out completely wrong football information after the all-22 comes out if you say if you if you narrate an all-22 you can spin it any which way you want you'd be like look the guard actually was supposed to block here so it's not the quarterback's fault right you can be like this well we't know.
This was supposed to be a curl route at the wide receiver route. Yeah, he stopped his route a yard early.
And that's why Tua overthrew him by 25 yards and got it picked off. No, that second interception, it wasn't his fault.
I've been gaslit to that. Yeah, see, that's what I'm talking about.
Like, we know what we saw. Believe what you saw on Sunday.
Jim Waddle left the spot that Tua was throwing it abandoned him yes he abandoned him he abandoned his route so many times i've i swear to god my brain is melting fuck you two people but it's working uh all right jake your favorite i'm going with the falcons minus three against the panthers i think the panthers will out falcon the falcons against the falcons okay well sam darnold is uh i mean he's got to's got to be it. Like, if he has another terrible game, I don't know what they do.
Sam Darnold got the vote of confidence from Matt Rule, though, after the last game. That's the worst thing he can get.
Real quick. Rex is our quarterback.
We got to rewind real quick to the Tua stuff, because Tua was asked if he feels like he's welcome there, and he was like, I don't not feel welcome here. Oh, man.
That's pretty bad. Yeah, that's pretty bad.
If you're like, well, they're kind of indifferent to me, so that's good. Yeah.
They kind of just don't even pay attention to me. That's not a bad spot for an NFL player to be in, honestly.
And the main placard over my locker is Deshaun Watson, but that's probably a mistake. Yep.
Hank, your underdog.
I'm going to ride till the wheels fall off.
They're 0-6, 3-3, covering the Detroit Lions.
Yes.
Plus 3-1⁄2.
Now, are you—
Against the Philadelphia Eagles.
Are you a little worried?
No.
Okay, you want to finish this?
No, I'm taking them until they win. All right right i was going to talk about weather no um it's a dome yeah uh are you a little worried that nick sirianni has uh now graduated from looking himself in the mirror to using weird analogies that make you just feel worse about his football team he said uh they're emphasizing growth under the soil said he's using a picture of a flower to explain to his young players that there's a process going on even in tough times everyone in the building is fertilizer and water to make the roots blossom into a flower actually now that i've read that out loud where did this guy come from no one knows i think he probably showed up when He spent like six months probably coaching high school football in Ohio.
And like...
What? Where did this guy come from? No one knows. I think he probably showed up.
That's a great question. He spent like six months probably coaching high school football in Ohio.
Went to a Mac school. Yeah, Joe Gettleman saw him and was like, you know what? I want to hire this guy.
Frank Reich had him hold a headset for a year with the Colts. I actually am on your side now because Dan Campbell's going up
literally against a flower.
Yeah, and he'll eat it.
He'll just walk up and be like,
see this flower?
No, Dan Campbell, he does not eat plants.
That's the thing.
He will poison it like Harvey Updike.
If someone said this flower is Nick Sirianni,
he would walk up to it
and pull it out of the ground
and then just bite it off.
Now, what about this quote from Nick Sirianni?
He said, the Eagles are going to be doubling down on dog mentality. So they're going dog mentality.
Wait, are they a dog or a flower? We don't know. Call P.J.
Tucker. There's mixed messaging coming out of Nick Sirianni's brain right now.
Also, the Eagles are in a tough spot because talking about the All-22 and being gaslit, I have noticed that multiple people have said that the Eagles defense is the most bland defense in the NFL and one of the most bland defenses they've ever seen.
Well, they're doubling down on it.
So seeing that tweeted from different people over and over, I'm just going to say that's a fact.
I'm going to start telling people that.
It might be the truth.
So it also matters what type of dog that they're trying to double down on being of the mental state of. Aren't there flowers that can kill a dog? Yeah.
Dog flowers. Dog flowers is what? Dogwood.
Dogwood flowers. Dogwood flowers.
It's probably because of Jared, but I'm so invested in this Lions team. And maybe Dan Campbell.
I'm rooting for them harder than everyone except the Patriots. Every week.
This is the week that it happens because you have. If it's not, everyone's saying that though.
So if it's not, it's going to be actually demoralizing. Here's what I've done with this game because I agree with you, Hank.
I think the Lions are going to win it outright. Are we just going in together? Yes.
Let's go. Is your pick too? Yes.
I'm pretending. And yours.
It's my pick. Okay.
I'm pretending. And Jake's.
And Jake's. Oh, no.
Now we're fucked. Oh're fucked.
Don't you dare, Biket. I'm not doing it.
No, three of us were on Detroit Plus 15 last
week. Okay, so I'm
going Detroit Moneyline, and here's why.
I am pretending that the
players do not exist in this game.
I don't care who's on the roster for the
Eagles or the Lions. I'm
strictly viewing this game as a matchup
between Dan Campbell and Nick Sirianni.
And I feel like Dan Campbell just takes a shit all over Nick Sirianni's brain. So it's a very stupid way to approach betting on this game, but that's how I'm looking at it, and I'm feeling dangerously confident.
Here's my one prediction for this game, and if I had to bet it, I would definitely be on the Lions, but this game will be the fuck shit game in the fourth quarter of witching hour because you have two teams that like suck but they also never they always play well at the end of games the Lions never give up the Eagles are the greatest like you know make the game look closer than it actually is team there's I feel like this will be the game that switches leads four times in the witching hour. Yeah, and between the two coaches, Nick Sirianni tries to do stuff like Dan Campbell.
He tries to take Dan Campbell and use that as his costume. Nick Sirianni goes as Dan Campbell for Halloween.
He looks in the mirror and sees Dan Campbell. But he doesn't know when to be Dan Campbell and when not to be.
So he just kind of randomly decides, okay, we're going to go for this fourth down. Okay, we're going to randomly be aggressive here.
Dan Campbell drives win not to be. So he just kind of like randomly decides, okay, we're going to go for this fourth down.
Right.
Okay, we're going to randomly be aggressive here. Dan Campbell drives with his foot firmly planted on the gas pedal.
Yes. All the time, blasting the Black Album.
Yes. Liam, your underdog.
I'm taking Washington plus three. I like it.
You. I like it a lot.
Because I don't. No, I do.
But I'm really bad at picking. I do.
I hate it. I hate it.
I think all the Washington football team has to do is just try to figure out a way to score on their drives instead of getting to the 20 and having Taylor Heineke do something stupid. Well, that's kind of a problem of Taylor Heineke.
Here, here's what I'll say. If you have a team that you can point to one problem and be like, fix that and you're good, I have you watched the football team yeah that's it i'm gonna point to like seven problems right now problem i still have i still have my straw by the way i've got my last straw people are telling me where's mine uh i offered it to you last week you didn't take it oh wait here it is oh perfect i have my straw as well okay we're on our last straws with the washington football team you know what i'm actually i'm more more of a WFT team fan than you.
I'm not even taking off the paper in my last straw. So I can take off the paper and then give away my last straw.
So I have two, basically. I don't think you're a bigger fan.
I think that you're just, you haven't been hurt over the years. You don't understand what that straw means.
I'm keeping it in the wrapper so that I have two last moves. So we talked to Florio a little bit about it, but then things have developed since the owner's meeting when Mark Davis, of all people, is standing on the table with his little backpack.
He looks adorbs. Love them.
And he's saying that he is personally requesting that they release all the emails from the Washington football team investigation. If this is the case, if Mark Davis accomplishes this, I will get a Mark Davis tattoo.
I will do it.
This is how much it means, because here's why.
If Dan Snyder actually takes the fall for all this bullshit that he's done, my straw worries are over.
Right now, people are like, oh, wait, Dan Snyder's done all this bullshit.
Yeah, I know he has, and I hope he gets caught for it.
That's not going to make me get rid of the straw because then we could be in a potential situation
where he has to sell the team,
in which case I'll have an infinite quantity of straws.
Yes.
And so it's truly a Schrodinger straw situation
where I'm having zero straws
and plenty of straws at the same time.
I just hope that Mark Davis is able to come through for me
because I have more faith in Mark Davis accomplishing something
than I do in Congress doing it.
Yeah.
That's where we're at.
Him and his little backpack. I also think they might just poison him at a P.F.
Chang's and that'll be it. I don't know.
I don't think you can poison that man. I feel like he's got guts of steel.
You know what he reminds me of? This is our succession discussion for the week. He's like if Greg and Shiv were one character in succession.
Okay, what would you say? Nick Sirianni reminds me of the speech from the most recent episode when he was telling his siblings what the company is going to be. Yes.
Yes. Making shit up.
Yes. The buzzword speech.
Yes. Ken.
Kendall Roy is. He's quite something.
Also, speaking of Dan Snyder, I just want to give a shout out. I always appreciate anyone who decides like, hey, the whole world is thinking this way.
Let me go the opposite. Doug Gottlieb said, Dan Snyder had to change the football name.
He had to get rid of his entire front office. He also, by the way, fired his coach.
He had to step down and put his wife in charge, and they paid $10 million. I don't know how many pounds of flesh you need.
Thank you, Doug. Thank you for standing up for Dan Snyder.
He's the real victim here. He's already given you enough.
Ask anybody that cares about the Washington football team at all if we think, you know what? Actually, I might spin myself on this and be like, you know what the real problem is now with the football team? Tanya Snyder has too much control. I want Dan to come back.
Yes. All the stuff that she's doing with her day-to-day operation.
She's very, very in the know about everything. Incredible zag by Doug Gottlieb when you need it the most.
All right. My underdog, I'm taking the Saints plus five and a half.
I think this game's going to be close. I, you know, the, the Bucs beat the Saints obviously in the playoffs, but the Saints beat the Bucs.
They beat them to like a drum in the regular season last year. I just think the Saints defense will keep it close.
Also, I looked it up. Saints are 7-1 straight up, and 7-1 is an underdog against the spread in the last three years.
I like the spot. Five and a half.
Feels like it's going to be a tight game. I don't mind that.
Yeah. I don't mind.
When is Michael Thomas coming back? Because I just reminded myself that he was on the Saints on Monday. Who knows? Who knows? It's a good question.
People call him Slant Man. I like that.
Slant Man and Blitz Boy. That's good.
Okay, we'll do our totals in a second. We're brought to you by our friends at New Amsterdam Vodka.
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New Amsterdam vodka is the official vodka of Barstool Sports. All right, over.
Hank. No, they have the Lions.
Jake and Billy have the Lions. I'm going to take the over in that Bucs-Saints game.
Oh. I have that as well.
I have that as well. Oh.
I feel like if the Saints win this game, they're going to have to really muck it up. Yeah, the Saints are going to have to win this game like 21-17.
A lot of deflections. Mm-hmm.
Are you sticking with it? Yeah.
Were you trying to talk me off another winner?
Why don't you maybe think about doing an alternate?
I'm done giving alternate bets.
What do you mean?
Oh, no.
Billy, you have one.
You literally just gave one to Billy.
Yeah, I know.
And that was my last one.
Billy, you get to pick your alternate bet, your total this week.
Over 65?
Of that game? Yeah. All right, if it goes over 65, I'll give you some shoes.
God damn it. All right, PFT, you're over.
My over is Steelers-Browns. Ooh.
42. That's my under.
Mike Tomlin's not fucking leaving. Never say never, but never.
Never. So he's got the boys rallying to him.
Ben Roethlisberger went on the TV show that Ben Roethlisberger shows up to every week and was talking about just how bad his hip is and how bad it's affecting his throwing motion. That to me tells me everything's right with Ben Roethlisberger.
Yep. He's going to come out.
He's going to do great. I don't know if it's going to be Baker or if it's going to be Case, but I don't think that there's that much of a difference because Case Keenum, I was thinking about the game that he had last Thursday.
Case Keenum played about exactly perfectly for what you envision a backup to do.
He was like making all the easy throws. No, he's a good backup.
He wasn't.
Yeah.
When he has zero expectations, Case Keenum is an excellent player.
He's a very good backup.
So Baker, it doesn't really matter to me.
I feel like both teams are going to score some points.
I was watching some EPL yesterday and got really into the whole expected goals stat. Have you ever checked that out? Oh, yeah.
That's my favorite. Oh, yeah.
You talk about something that's just made up on the spot. It's like, to me, the expected score of this game is 28-17.
Ooh. 28-17.
So in your expected score, it'd still be pretty close. Yeah, my expected score has the over, though.
Okay, all right.
It's a realistic over.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because I... Make yourself 28-24 if you're going to take it.
Well, I don't want to lie to our audience and be like,
my expected score in this game is 35-20.
Yeah.
Because that's just not true.
The expected score in this game is 28-17.
28-17.
That is my under of the week, so we're opposite on that.
My over is going to be Titans-Colts over 51.
Both of these pass defenses suck.
So I think fireworks.
Billy.
My over is the Bears 49ers 39.
Yeah, no, I looked at it because that's one of those games.
39.5 is a number where you're like,
if I just get two weird plays to happen, I might in in business yeah i'm going for now oh you're already conceding the first three wins i'd be curious to know if there's any advanced statisticians the over under record when two rookie quarterbacks are was jimmy g playing i think jimmy g's fine but matt nagy not – I do not think Matt Nagy will clear COVID protocol in time.
So maybe – it would be so incredible if the Bears, like, dropped 60 on the 49ers
out of nowhere because Matt Nagy wasn't around to put his stink on the team.
I just – I personally – I don't know how you feel about the situation, Big Cat,
but I think that Matt Nagy should really – he should take his time.
Sometimes, you know, you've got to put things into perspective.
As a COVID survivor, I hope he gets better. We were talking about that earlier.
Some things are truly, truly bigger than sports. A full recovery, spending time with your family, these are the moments that you can't get back.
I did Google whether you can fire someone who has COVID and you can't. So we'll have to wait.
Matt Nagy is going to be a long hauler then. Yeah, Jesus.
All right, over, over in that game. Okay.
That game, thank God that game's at 1 o'clock and it can just waste away somewhere out of everyone's mind. I'm predicting that game's going to be the one that Red Zone forgot.
I hope so. Yes.
I hope so, too. I'm just as low as possible.
In advance, can we not have the sound on that game? Yeah, we don't have the sound on that game.
All right.
Jake.
No.
Also in New Orleans, Tampa.
That's right.
Hank.
Also under in Browns Steelers.
Okay.
Let's go, Hank.
Liam.
I have under 49 in New England, LA. Chargers.
How are you feeling about this game, Hank? I'm nervous. This is either Super Bowl VII's on or Hank.
I don't know. I really don't know.
If you win this game, it's like we're back in. Well, if we win this game, we're basically undefeated.
The Patriots are the weirdest team because they have the best losses in the league. They have the best losses in the league.
Two-point loss to the Bucs and an overtime loss to the Cowboys. Their three wins are the Jets and the Texans.
You play who you play, Big Cat. You keep saying that.
What do you want the Patriots to do? I'm saying they have incredible losses... They go out there and line up against the other team.
The Patriots are a true glass-half-full, glass-half-empty team where it's just whatever angle you're looking at them, you can sell yourself on what they are. Wouldn't you say? Yeah.
I mean, like, you can really look at it and be like, they're right there, and then you can also remind yourself they've already played the Jets twice. This game will shape the rest of my season.
Wow. I mean, they're going to be aggressively, you know, aggressive that they're going to win and make the playoffs.
You're being the best back out? No, it's a playoff only. Come on.
We need to do some research on Bill Belichick versus rookie head coaches. Ooh.
And see if it lines up with Bill Belichick versus rookie quarterbacks. Patriots, Saints, Lions.
I think that's going to be the hungry dog. I like it.
I actually like it a lot. Do you feel concerned tossing the Patriots into your hungry dog parlay all the time? I think it's the first time.
Is it? You've just been betting a lot on Boston sports teams recently. Well, yeah.
Duh. I've noticed that, yeah.
I just don't want your personal bias to cloud the hungry dog parlay. I like that hungry dog parlay, Hank.
The Patriots are hungry as fuck this weekend. They are hungry.
Unbiased opinion. You're under PFT.
My under is going to be Jag Seahawks, 43 and a half. Also a game that I think we're going to kind of low-key forget happens.
Yes, this is going to be a stinker of a game. It's a Jason Myers revenge game.
The kicker for the Seahawks. Huge.
Jason Myers, I was reminded of a hilarious quote that he had last year when he missed a couple field goals in the game. A reporter was like, what does it feel like to miss kicks? And he goes, it feels great, dude.
It's fucking awesome, man. I love that.
I love that shit. So this is also going to be like DK is going to be hungry this weekend.
He's had a rough week. He has.
He got dragged through the mud. He did.
Through no fault of his own. Like a man can't even have a foursome in America anymore without the PC media crawling up his butthole about it.
Did your ears perk up when you found out there was no security at his house? No. Why? No.
Why? I don't know. In case you want to like take him out or something.
I don't want to ever take DK out. DK and I have a friendly rivalry, Hank.
And I think it's times like these where I will stand up for another man's right to have sex with three women. I couldn't even finish this.
The video was so long. It was so long.
She was just fucking braveheart. Yeah, get to the point.
What's a screenshot? First of all, allegedly he had sex with three women at once. I don't even want to say that it's true i mean he pretty much tweeted that it was true yeah uh whatever he's 23 single exactly i i just i don't understand the mentality of the woman that put him on blast being like i can't believe this nfl player didn't make me sign an nda before he fucked me and my two friends yeah it's like wait that's where we're at now billy's very confused i don't think it actually happened.
No, it didn't. It didn't.
They never actually did it. Oh, they didn't have sex.
No, she said that she was basically driving to his house. He said, it's too late.
Go home. Then, like, a half hour later, he hit her up and been like, actually, I'm at the bar.
I'm trying to have a foursome. Why don't you come back? I got two other girls.
And she was like, fuck that. I'm not going.
All right. At the very least, sounds like he had a threesome.
Possibly. Good for him.
A possible threesome. Yes.
Memes was reminding me earlier about Le'Veon Bell had a threesome one time, and then he called the cops right afterwards, and he had to file a police report being like, hey, these two girls that I slept with stole $500,000 worth of jewelry. Yes.
So DK dodged a bullet. They love me for me.
Yeah. Yeah.
This game's going to be weird. We really need the Patriots Chargers and the Bucks Saints to be good because the other afternoon games have chances of being stinkers Billy you're under my under is the Cowboys Vikings at 54 and a half okay are you taking an alternate under not sure I didn't I didn't like I didn't like this week's slate for the ultimate okay you can you can wait.
That's fine. And then Jake.
Also with PFT. Jack Seahawks under 44.
All right. Any games we missed? Wait, you got 44? I'm on the sportsbook right now.
Okay. It was 43 and a half.
All right, so take 44. I think the only game we missed is Rams-Texans, and I don't care.
I mean, that's okay. Is Tyrod going to play? I don't think anybody's going to play.
Right. I think the Texans might just not show up.
Randy Cooks feel bad for him this week. Yeah.
Did you see that? Yeah. They should just start doing like a running clock when they show up off the bus.
Yeah. I mean, this is kind of what we expected from the Texans, though, that before the trade deadline, they are just going to try to trade away as many of their players as possible for like fifth round picks.
Yeah. This is where Tim Tebow should be playing quarterback.
If you want to have Tim Tebow have fun, put him on the Texans. They should have him just fucking ball out.
They should sign all the old quarterbacks that we still feel excited to watch. Like Tim Tebow, Johnny Manziel I would watch.
RG3 I would orton kyle orton yep kaepernick get kaepernick in the mix people tune in for that yeah have them run just all quarterback offense yes everyone can handle the ball if you're not going to be good at least be fun yeah um all right uh i think that's it the only other stat i had was the bears have 871 net passing yards this year. We're in week eight.
That's almost a mile. That's so bad.
That's so bad. If you think of it just in terms of distance, it sounds not bad.
Does Army? Army might have more. Yeah, I think they probably do.
Yeah, because they played that crazy game last week. My absolute favor is when Army just decides to pass the ball.
They must have the highest percentage, though, of attempted passes to interceptions. Yeah, it's cheating when they pass.
When they pass on non-passing downs, it's cheating. That's so fucked up when they do that.
It's almost like a gentleman's rule that, hey, we're not going to pass unless it's fourth and very, very long.
What were you going to say, Jake? I have two half point differences in two of your picks.
Okay.
New Orleans five instead of five and a half.
Got it.
But you benefit 50 and a half instead of 51 Tennessee.
Boom.
Put them in.
Love it.
Thank you, Jake.
Keeping us honest.
Anything else for, I'm excited for week eight.
I think it's going to, I think we're going to,
we're going to have a good week, boys.
We're due.
I think this podcast is going to have a good week. I think we're going to have a good week.
I just feel it in the air. And then again, anyone who listens to this on Monday, you're a pervert because you're basically listening for us to get like face fucked and be wrong about everything.
I'm still getting messages from people who are like, hey, I'm listening to last Friday's episode now on a thursday yeah on the following thursday no no no i think that sicko is me that got confused that got confused because there are people who whatever life may come up you might not listen right away i'm talking about three episodes a week is kind of a lot it's a lot what i'm talking to the people that do i'm only talking to the people who intentionally go back and try to listen to our terrible takes and terrible picks so that they can laugh about how wrong we are about everything. They're the perverts.
You know who you are. You're a pervert.
Memes texted me earlier, said tomorrow's our 500th episode. And then I asked and it's our 867th.
Okay. Everyone keeps hitting us up about our 500th episode.
Yeah, we did our 500 when we first moved into this room.
Yeah.
367 episodes.
And every day, someone's like,
hey, next week's the 500th episode.
It's because I found out.
It's because Apple Podcasts only backlogs 500.
Oh, so every episode.
Every episode's our 500th.
It's like Ryan Lochte's dog.
That's so sick.
Turning eight every year.
That's so sick. Big Cat, do you have a parlay that can't lose? I do.
It's the Bengals. Okay.
It's the... Just to win? Just to win.
It's the Bills. It's the Rams.
All to just win. Oh.
And then... The Steelers plus seven and a half.
No? Seven and a half? And then over 48 and a half on Sunday Night Football. Thoughts? It just sounds like a lot of different numbers that I have to keep track of in my brain.
Well, there's only three. It's four things at one o'clock and then a late night thing.
I left you a snack. Yeah.
It's just something at the end that I left you. The snack always concerns me, though.
But the snack is the best part. You can hedge if you want to.
But gamble responsibly.
1-800-GAMBLER.
Pigskin Parlay if you want to gamble for free.
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There we go.
Playmarshall.com.
Okay.
Let's do Fantasy Fathers, and let's get to our awesome interviews.
We have Meadow World Sandiford, also known as Ron Artest, also known as Meadow World Peace,
and Usain Bolt, Fantasy Fathers. Hello.
Hey. I don't know a father voice.
My name is Anderson Swishwaffle. Hello, Mr.
Swishwaffle. My stardom is fresh lumber.
It's a real treat to smell. Some people like to use heat from a home and oil and waste all that money.
I prefer to go into my backyard and chop down a fresh redwood, put it into a bunch of different pieces. Chop down a redwood on your own.
That's wild stuff. I typically just buy a cord from the neighbor.
Heat my house for the whole summer and winter. Where I sit them on my notes pad is blank.
I don't know what happened to my notes.
I'm getting forgetful in my old age too.
So my sit-um
is me.
I'm going to sit myself.
I'm too young to be a father.
Sit down.
It's just nice to hit the lazy boy recliner.
Wear condoms, kids.
You don't want to be like me one day.
I'm going to disagree with you on that one. My sleeper is oranges.
Yeah? Aren't you glad I didn't say banana? That's very good. Nailed it.
That's a real rib tickler. Nailed it.
Thank you. Hey, guys.
I had a good sleeper, too. I'll think of it.
Okay. Yeah, just whenever you feel like it, just jump on in.
Hi, I'm LeVar Ball. It's a real pleasure to be back on here.
My stardom is calendars. It's daylight savings time.
It is. I'm actually afraid for the calendars.
These days are numbered. Little dad joke.
My sit-em is I'm sitting exercise. I've worked out.
I went for a nice walk at the mall this morning.
So my wife said I should do lunges to stay
in shape. That would be a big step forward.
Dad bod 2021.
Hell yeah. And then
my sleeper. I'm going to sleep on
Case Keenum because I think that the guy's just
he's swell.
You put a pair of Air Monarchs in a football
helmet. It's reasonable and comfortably
priced. Alright.
What's up?
It's Big Cat. My stardom is
Halloween. I'm very excited for Halloween with my kids.
What do we got? We're doing a Halloween party on Friday night. Yeah.
You dressing up? Probably not. Come on.
I forgot until right this second to buy myself. Freddie Mercury.
Yeah. Easy last second adjustment there.
No. My son's going to be a construction worker because we live around a lot of construction.
And also I have an Ultimate Warrior costume
that I might have him wear to school on Friday.
Blue collar.
Yeah.
My sit-em is cold weather
because having to bundle up kids sucks.
Yep, agreed.
It's a shitty transition where it's like,
oh, we're going out.
We got to get the coat.
We got to get the sweatshirt. We got to do everything like that.
If they fall, though, they got padding. That's true.
If they fall, they got padding. I had an idea like a year ago about this different type of jumpsuit that you could invent for children where everything just zips up.
So it's like one outfit and then you can unzip the gloves off it. You could unzip the shirt to make it a three-quarter length.
You could unzip the t-shirt. You can unzip it to make it a white beater.
You can unzip the top from the bottom until the shorts. It's just like one outfit for everything.
Zippers everywhere. Yeah.
And then my sleeper is Cars 3. I'm starting to think Cars 3 might be better than Cars 1.
Cars 2 is trash. I haven't seen any of the cars, truthfully.
They're great. Yeah.
I could just tell you all about them. You'd get too horned up, probably.
Yeah, probably. I could tell you all about them.
I've watched way too many cars. Slap me silly, boys.
How are ya? Hey, Will. How's it hanging, guys? That's great.
Low and lazy. Hey, great to see ya.
Sucking the dazed dick. Here I am.
I'm Mr. Dad, man.
My stardom is stretching. Always gotta get get a good stretch before you do anything.
Because when you get old, muscles are a lot easier to stretch. It's going down a long limber.
It's not like when we were kids. Not at all.
My sit-in is Jamar Chase. Because I think we've got to spread the ball out.
I think he's not going to get it as much as he did last week. You know what I'm saying? I agree.
My sleeper is the electric bill. It's getting cold.
He's going to go up. Yeah.
Keep the door closed. Electric bill.
Bill, get it? Man up, Bill. Get a nice axe.
Sharpen her up. He is an electric bill.
This guy talking right here. Hey, Billy.
We've got to rake the leaves. Yeah.
The leaves, they've got to get raked. Billy, how do you follow...
I feel assaulted by this segment. How do you follow...
Hey, but the joy of being a dad... It is joyful.
My new startup is actually having kids. It really changes your life.
It is. It's a real life-altering experience.
It is. I'm ready for one more, but then no more.
None after that. I feel like parents always do that.
And then another. You might have one or two more.
Then nothing. The more kids you have,
the better.
That's not always the truth.
Why not? Because sometimes the
young kid,
I kind of went sideways on that. Look at the Huckabees.
Yeah.
Or no, the Duggars.
Duggars had a couple real stinkers.
Johnny Kate plus eight.
What a...
How many are left?
Not the kids, the parents, freak shows.
How many...
No, I think they have them all still.
But it went sideways when they had fucking...
It's like John plus four and Kate plus four.
Yeah.
Because John decided that he was going to be like a full-time club guy.
Well, and also Kate, I'm pretty sure, started dating the security guard. It got
messy. Kate was the
originator of the Karen haircut, I think.
Yes, it got messy between them.
Turns out, putting your entire
life on reality television might not be
the best for your relationship.
Who would have thought that?
In the case of Messica, it might
be the best. Yeah, could be the best.
Stunner when that happens. many how many marriages is kim kardashian well i mean she's
doing okay now right yeah her and kai wait are they divorced i think so but they're you know
they're talking and stuff there's rumors all right so we're back they're working together on snl all
the way back i feel like you never truly get divorced from kanya his brain will always be
around you yeah his presence it's also different you have kids that's true as a father you know that yeah yes yes all right uh good see you later alligator oh i think we saw the music like 10 25 30 we just don't play the music so how am i supposed to know yeah we billy oh we play the music god. God damn it.
You just showed everyone how the show works. All right, let's get to our interview.
We've got an awesome interview with Meta World Peace, an awesome interview with Usain Bolt. We taped Usain Bolt a couple weeks ago, so I think there was a moment where I brought up that he's a Packers fan.
So there we go. Everyone gets to be a pervert in real life.
Also, the audio is not great on it. Audio is not great.
Yeah, he was on a weird computer.
But yeah, you get to be a pervert by the fact that I think I said the Bears are going to
beat the Packers.
So that's fun.
Before we get to our good friend, Metta World Peace.
Wait, what's his official name?
Metta World Sandifer.
Metta World Sandifer.
And trust me, it's a good interview.
Oh, that's what it was.
You're going to want to listen to this one.
My sit-in was Metta.
Damn.
Okay. Okay.
But before we get there. Why? Because that's Facebook's new name.
Oh. And as a father.
So I was going to be like, my sit-in is meta. What's going to happen to my Facebook page? Damn.
Well, listen. As long as I can still catch up with all my friends from high school who are still involved in pyramid schemes and get tagged in pictures of people from like yemen selling yeezys i'm all in on facebook no matter what that's a great and the minions memes are worth the price of admission alone uh before we get to our good friend meta world sandiford i want to talk to you about our great friends over at Shady Rays.
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Okay, we now welcome on a very, very special guest.
You may know him as Ron Artest or Metta World Peace.
He goes by Metta Sandiford Artest now, and he has a new show out called Metaphorically Speaking.
It is talking to actors and entrepreneurs and athletes, talking about their craft.
Metta, thank you for joining us.
We're very excited.
So let's start with the show.
What made you decide to jump into the content game and get involved in this type of show? Yeah, you know, we had metaphorically speaking in 2014. We did about, I guess, like four shows.
But after we after we recorded the shows, we didn't know what to do with it. So we just kind of sat on it.
And um some people came back up to me and said hey you should do um do a podcast and i said oh i got a show called metaphorically speaking that we never did nothing with so um it was really easy easy name we already had like some content um i mean i always enjoy talking on podcast type formats but you know now we get a chance to to really You know to really get it going We're only doing like 10 episodes It is definitely one of those Names that like the show name You kind of have to do the show It writes itself Yeah it does So who's your dream guest for metaphorically speaking Who do you really want want to talk to? Dream guest, I probably would say, there's so many interesting people, but if I go back to when I really was, you know, when I idolized people as a younger adult or even an older teen, it would be Halle Berry, Will Smith, Tom Hanks, Demi Moore, Mike Tyson. I did Mike Tyson already.
But I remember as a kid growing up and, you know, those being my favorite, like, you know, entertainers, actors and stuff. So I think that would be cool.
I'd also like to talk to Halle Berry for the record. I agree with you.
Yeah, I agree with myself, too. So you been in the news recently too because you had the Netflix untold story Malice to Palace come out.
What has been the response from that? Because I would imagine after watching it, have people come up to you and been like, hey man, I'm sorry that it was spun in a certain way or it was obviously an unfortunate event, but it's crazy to now finally get the full truth from everyone's perspective who was involved. Yeah, I mean, it was interesting because when it happened, I pretty much, you know, took it on the chin and I just said, you know what, if I'm not going to be able to play, I'm just going to move on with my life and that's it, you know, but I for sure wasn't going to um you know be i didn't want to beat myself up you know for something that i didn't do yeah you know what i'm saying so i mean something that i didn't start right um so i just moved on and i didn't really care what anybody thought about it you know um I didn't care what anybody thought about me.
But then years later, you see the full story. I was okay with taking the blame or playing my part and taking the blame for my part.
But I wasn't okay with taking the full blame. You know, I wasn't okay with that.
Yeah. It's also, it's kind of crazy in today's like we've seen some incidents uh in in especially the nba there was you know someone throwing popcorn someone spitting uh someone yelling it i think who they yell at last year and and the response is very different now it's like the fans have no right to do this you got to protect the players and again like obviously the players had a part in the malice the palace but the fans were fucking like unruly and crazy as well i mean um i mean it started with a fan like people could say ben wallace started ben wallace had nothing to do with the malice and the palace you know what i'm saying ben wallace had that happens all the time where a player fights a player the fans started the malice in the palace and you know what i'm okay with taking the blame because you know everybody made a ton of money since then you know the league if you look at since then and they say it's a black guy it's not the black guy the real black guy honestly is like when they didn't let black then, and they say it's a black guy.
It's not the black guy.
The real black guy, honestly, is like when they didn't let black people play in the NBA.
Like, that's a black guy.
You can't say I was like a black guy when I didn't even start.
You know, your best argument is the year before that when I led the league in flagrant
to technical fouls.
Like, that's okay.
I'll take that part, you know, and I'll also take like, you know, doing wild stuff and being detrimental to my team. Yeah, that's stuff that I did, you know.
But the malice in the palace, it just doesn't make sense to me that they, you know, that they say I started that. Then, you know, the next day I lose all my deals, you know, and I was a higher-level player.
I don't get the same contracts as people as my skill level was getting you know i can't i couldn't even get another corporate deal so i had to come up with my own corporations you know just to be involved in corporate america you know this is like ridiculous i had to build two c corps just to be involved in corporate america you know with the exception of a few other companies that i. And, you know, it was hard because typically athletes, you know, they play well and they get deals.
And that wasn't the case over here. Yeah.
So so after you were suspended for that year, did you find it difficult to maintain a regimen of, OK, I have to go to the gym at this time to work out? I have to work on this part of my game because you go from being in a very structured environment on an nba team to having absolutely no structure whatsoever while you still have you know potentially 10 more years of future earnings after you get back into the nba that you have to get yourself in shape for like what was that like making that adaptation well you know um it was interesting because right when i got suspended i was in tip tip-top shape. I was averaging 24.5 points.
Then when I got suspended, I was in the gym. I was in the best shape of my life.
I stayed in the gym, I'm going to say maybe for about two months. Then when I kind of sensed that I wasn't coming back, I took a two break and I kept working out and then when and then when I got the word that I'm not coming back at all you know then um it was it was really heartbreaking because that year um my brother LeBron the year prior to that I was in the All-Star game so then that next year you know it was somebody was going to be starting at the All-Star game and I was going to have a say in that you know because I was playing so well so a lot of legacy was on the line but it's okay like I said it's okay it happened to me and I'm very happy with me um you know it was unfortunate but it's okay you mentioned you mentioned LeBron had a couple of stories I wanted to ask you about LeBron because you had one story where you, 15-year-old LeBron, is this right, was cooking you that you had to – I didn't say he was cooking me.
Oh, okay. So someone else said that.
Someone else said that. He was cooking you.
Or maybe cooking other NBA dudes. And you had to knock his ass to the ground is that true well one time LeBron was a young kid I was because LeBron is 36 I'm 41 is right so I was 19 and he was 15 and um he just was coming into this gym where Jordan was playing and a lot of other players were playing and he was playing very well you know he was playing very he was ready for the NBA at that point in time and I was just like wow so he was doing amazing stuff dunking and rebounding and all types of amazing stuff so he was coming at me full speed one time and this is probably when he was probably about he might have been 235 at this time maybe, maybe 225, but real strong.
And I just kind of, you know, kind of put a little forearm in his chest as he was coming to the basket. And the ref called a foul.
You shoot free throws in the summertime back then. So you shot free throws.
He got fouled, but I mean, I was really impressed with him back then. And this is him right now.
Yeah. No, it's crazy reading.
I saw another story that you played in a pickup game with MJ, Antoine Walker, Penny Hardaway, Paul Pierce, and a high school LeBron, which is like that's – if you're a fan of basketball, to be able to, like, visualize that must be incredible. It must've been an awesome game.
Well, I was in all because Michael Jordan was playing and LeBron was coming up, but then you had Stackhouse and Walker Barkley played one game. I played with Barkley one time.
It was kind of funny. Actually, he was, it was into his career.
But, you know, it was a ton. It was Michael Finley who played a couple times.
And then some other people would come every now and then and play.
But it was intense.
It was really, really intense.
And, you know, MJ, he's bringing it all the time.
And, you know, I didn't know we was allowed, but then MJ told me to come back.
MJ said, you're coming back, right?
So that was a lot of respect because, you know, I was 246 coming into the league. That's not typical for an athlete to be that ready coming in.
Yeah. Yes.
So you played ball in New York City. You played St.
John's. And I'm always curious why New York City doesn't have as good of college basketball teams as you might expect it to have, given the amount of talent that comes out of New York City.
Have you ever thought about that? Or what was it that made you decide to go to St. John's? Well, I fight for the city.
I'm from New York. And the only reason I chose St.
John's is because St. John's is the number one college university in New York City, right? And I love fighting for the city.
And I wanted to bring a title there.
I mean, we got to the Elite Eight.
Before I got there, I think we had a 13 or 15-year drought
from the tournament, you know?
So when I'm thinking about that, you know,
if you're a New Yorker, you prideful, right?
So we get to the tournament. We should have won against Detroit Mercy, but we didn't.
And then the next year we lose against Ohio State by two in Elite Eight to go to the final four. That's like so much legacy.
Two points put a ton of legacy on the line. Two points.
What was that like going to school in New York City for somebody that you were from Queens, right? Like you lived here. You grew up here.
I have to imagine that college experience for you is a lot different from a lot of kids that go somewhere else. And, you know, they're hours away from home.
What was it like when you were in college here in New York? Were you going home every day? Were you staying by campus? Well, when I was actually was in the gym a lot but i would go home when i could like if i had some money to get home i'd probably take a taxi but i i did go back to queensbridge quite often um but i was in the gym so much you know i didn't really have a lot of time to do anything else you know eat and sleep and basketball yeah what what makes what made you so good uh as a defender in the NBA because you know when you talk about different guys and their skill set you know why Steph Curry is incredible because of his shooting you know why LeBron you know can do all these things but I you know defense and rebounding are the two things that I always look at and be like, how is this guy that much better than everyone else? Is it just effort? Is it technique? Is it wanting it more? Like what separated you to become such an elite defender in your heyday? I mean, it's the same thing like offense, you know. Offense, you got to have some type of grit, right? When you think of Kobe, you think of his offense and you think of his
mentality which is just as hard as defense so it's the same exact thing the only difference is you're you're applying technique on defense you know i was playing at 260 so a lot of these defend wing defenders you know 225 all the best wing defenders that everyone mentioned 225.
So carrying an extra
40 pounds
on 225 all the best wing defenders that everyone mentioned you know 225 right so carrying an extra 40 pounds um that's all technique because these guys were way quicker than me right so i had to constantly um be in position to cut guys off and to not let them get to that spot because if they did get to the spot they wanted to get to i couldn't really catch faster guys yeah you know so tons of technique um and then over the years if you know if you're thinking about how are you going to stop a guy you know a thousand times thousand times eventually you know you're going to get it uh i was i think i was gifted with strength and some quickness uh and i had a ton of endurance you know um and you know so i think that helped me especially growing up against some of these amazing Hall of Famers but I was prideful about the way guys want to dunk on people that's how I wanted to shut guys down yeah I love that about your game what um who is the guy who is the toughest to guard that maybe we don't think about like not a kobe not a lebron but someone that you always
struggled with because they were just they had some type of ability that people might not have recognized when they were watching them i mean i mean if i go in order of the toughest guys i defended and this is going to put this is going to answer your question the obvious to be first right michael jordan was the hardest guy i've been then there's a tie between kobe and lebron and then next would be Richard Hamilton.
Richard Hamilton was hard because all he's doing is running the whole time. So I'm not a shooting guard, but I often guard the best players, whoever's doing work.
So if there's a center, I go to the center. When it was Iverson when I was in Chicago, I had to go to Iverson.
And then with Rich Hamilton, all he's doing is running the whole time. And that's extremely tiring.
I remember going to rip Hamilton and after the game just being exhausted. Just from chasing him around screen after screen after screen.
And he separates. He separates so well.
At the point of the of the screen he's gone and it's so hard to keep up to keep up with him interesting that's a good answer yeah because you're right when you'd watch him play we talked to jim calhoun over the summer and that's he kept pointing at rip and being like this guy is just unbelievable he just doesn't ever ever he's a different he's a he's a he's a he's for sure hall of famer and of Famer. You don't really recognize it because he's not jumping over the rim, but he's won everywhere he's been in UConn and the NBA.
And he's an extremely talented player. It's just hard to really respect his greatness because he's not doing things like Kobe or anybody else.
It's almost like you have to play against him to really understand how fucking good he was. Yes, exactly.
You don't get tired watching him play. You get tired defending against him.
I heard an awesome story. I need to know if this is true or not.
After the 2008 finals, it was the Celtics. They beat the Lakers.
I heard that you the lakers locker room while kobe bryant was in the shower by himself and you were like kobe i want to play for you i want to help you win another championship is that true and he was like yeah sure but how did you get in here that i mean the story is like 50 50 so i was at the game i was before i I was playing with the Sacramento Kings at the time. So I didn't want to go to that game having the media think that I was, you know, pitching myself for the Celtics or the Lakers, right? So I get to the game.
I'm wearing a Sacramento Kings shirt at this game. Now, meanwhile, this is game six.
So LeBron James, I'm lebron james lamar odom and uh kobe bryan right is there in his team and lamar i grew up playing with lamar okay so i'm going there the main reason i went there and i invited my friend to go with me because i've never been to a championship game and this is probably nine years into my career so i want to start preparing for the finals because i know like eventually i'm gonna be there and i just and I've never been to a championship game. And this is probably nine years into my career.
So I want to start preparing for the finals because I know, like, eventually I'm going to be there. And I just – and I've never been to a finals game.
So I said, just let me go, look at the atmosphere, and figure out how I'm going to figure it out when I get there. So that was the one reason I went.
Second reason was Lamar Odom. So they lose by 30.
After the game, I'm waiting for them to come out. They're taking so long.
They let me come into the locker room.
I don't know why, but they let me in the locker room.
And I see Phil.
I said, hey, Phil, great game.
And I said, hey, Lamar, great game.
I said, I want to say good game to Kobe.
Where's Kobe at?
He said, Kobe's in the shower.
I said, dang, he's in the shower.
And then, no, actually, I saw Phil Jackson says he's back there.
And then Brian Shaw was right there.
And I said, hey, B. Shaw, where's Kobe at? And then B.
Shaw, he's in the shower. He pointed backwards.
So I just said, you know what? I'm not about to wait for him to go in the shower. I'm trying to get out of here.
So I went into the shower. And I tapped him on the shoulder.
And meanwhile, he's taking a hot shower. Just lost about 30 or 40 in the finals.
Nobody's around him in the shower. He probably don't want to talk to nobody.
But you know me, I don't really
care. So
I tap him on the shoulder. He turns
around with this mean
mug, like who
is touching me right now?
And it was Ron Attest.
He was just like...
He was so mad, but he
turns around.
It took him a second to think about what the hell is happening.
But I said, hey, my God, I wanted to say great game.
I know we had a lot of battles, but I'm a huge fan.
Great game.
And then that was it.
You know, I didn't say I want to play with him
because I enjoy playing against him so much.
I think that, like, Ron Artest, he was getting ready to fight whoever it was that was tapping him on his shoulder. But he turned around, he's like, oh, fuck, it's the one guy that I probably shouldn't fight.
Yeah. It was really bad.
So, I mean, yeah. It was the Ramba mentality.
Yeah. Yeah.
So then you obviously play with him. You win a title with him.
And in in that seventh game. You come up huge for the Lakers when Kobe was having a little bit of an off night.
Did you did you feel like going to that game prepared you for a game seven NBA finals? Or was it like when you got to this game seven, it was totally different no matter what, because it's like, holy shit. I think going to that finals really helped me a lot because when i was there like people know it's no secret that i had anxiety and depression that's no secret right so and also no secret that i was a tough player but let's just focus on being a tough player and let's remove anxiety from this equation right and and if you don't have the experience, you're going to be thinking,
oh, my goodness, if I missed a shot, what's going to happen?
Whereas when I went into that finals, I didn't have a ton of good games,
but it didn't affect me.
I just continued to just play, and I think in 2008 helped me tremendously.
And that finals, that game seven, like don't take this the wrong way
because you could score too, but that was a game built for Ron Artest. I remember like that was a rock fight in the best sense of the world.
You know what I mean? Yeah, I'm looking up right now. 83-79 was the finals.
Like that's incredible thinking about where the NBA is today. Well, it didn't matter.
I think if you look at when I was in my prime and you look at all the other games, a lot of high scoring games. But even when we lost to the Detroit Pistons in 2004, that score was 71 to 67.
Yeah. To go to the finals.
Yeah. And if you look at even when we lost to the Lakers the year before we won the championship, game seven when I was with the Rockets and we we took them to game seven.
They beat us by 17 points. No, 19 points.
The score was 89 to 70. That's crazy.
You see what I'm saying? Yeah. So I know how to make the game ugly.
Right. Yeah.
How do you do that? How do you make a game ugly? If you're playing against a guy like James Harden, and you know he's trying to make it ugly but in a way that benefits him on offense, he knows all the tricks. How do you make it ugly in a way that benefits the defense? How do you muck it up? Well, tons of deflections.
I used to leave – in Indiana, they kept deflection stats. I led my team by far in deflections.
Lots of deflections all the time, deflecting on top of stills, so you're just stopping the clock. You know, you can't really pass the ball anywhere around me.
Some guys will always say, watch Ron, watch out, watch out, watch out, all the time on the floor. Watch out, watch out, he's right there.
Don't throw the ball, don't throw the ball. And that, you know, know all that takes seconds off the clock you know um you can't just pass the ball to the post around me you can't just give the ball to someone but that's when i was fast not now now you can pass the ball anywhere in my vicinity i won't catch it you make a good point so like we're taught growing up like if you deflect the ball out of bounds it's it doesn't mean anything they get to keep the ball.
Or if you kick the ball, right? They call it kickball, and then we're told, like, don't do that. You're not allowed to kick the ball.
In reality, you're making them reset completely on offense. They have to inbound the ball again.
They have to set their offense back up, and they have to try to run a play and get a shot off. Yes, deflections is big.
If you can get as many deflections as you can, touch the ball. Every chance you get, just touch it.
You know, it takes the ball off course. You add that up over a period of time, you know, you done save yourself some possessions.
Yeah. Just touch the ball as much as you can.
Yeah. I love that advice.
And then, you know, after you won your NBA championship, I remember the post-game interview, the first person that you thanked, was it your psychiatrist or your psychologist? That's funny. So when I said it, I said psychiatrist.
Now, meanwhile, I've never done this before. I never think my strength national television ever.
But I kind of knew. Well, actually, I didn't know I was going to do that, but I was so happy.
And things just come into my head. But I never, I knew I was seeing therapy, a therapist.
But she was a psychologist. She texted me after.
And she said, met a, no, Ron I texted at the time. She said, Ron, great game.
Thanks for the shout out. But by the way, I'm a psychologist.
I'm not a psychiatrist. I said, oh, my goodness.
I'm I'm really sorry about that.
You gave her like two extra years of medical school. Yeah.
Yeah. I know.
I know. I know.
Right. She's not a psychiatrist.
I was like, oh, man. And then, you know, obviously is a big difference.
Right. Psychiatry is MD medicine and psychology therapy.
Yeah. But it was actually really good because although psychology would have been great, I thought that psychiatry actually, even though I'm not a big fan of medicine, but I thought that it just gave people confidence to really improve themselves.
So it actually really worked out. Yeah, I remember you saying after that, you were like, you know, my psychiatrist or psychologist, whatever you said, I learned a lot of new tools on how to deal with some of the things that you had been going through and some of the mental difficulties you had had in years prior.
Like specifically when it comes to basketball, what kind of tools are you getting that allowed you to kind of focus in? Man, it was crazy. So if you look at my career, everything on the court, man,
like it's technical fouls.
When we lost against the Knicks, I throw the camera.
I take the camera from the cameraman, break the camera.
I take the monitor from the scores table, break the monitor, right?
$125,000 fine.
No, price.
I had to pay for the camera and a fine.
And this has happened in my whole career. Look at the Detroit game.
We played them Indiana versus Detroit at the Palace of Auburn Hills. One game to go to the finals, I elbowed Richard Hamilton in the face.
Semi-finals, they go to the finals and win it. Then you go, I get traded to Sacramento.
I get suspended in the playoff game again right in sacramento um against the spurs uh then i go to the lakers i get since i get ejected in game five we take them to game seven we lose game five so in my mind i'm like i know i'm a champion i've won was at. That's not really – I'm not too concerned about that.
But the concern is I don't have no titles.
You know, this is what I'm talking to my therapist about.
I'm telling her, like, you know, every time I get, you know, to the big game,
I'm doing something to mess it up.
And I say, I just don't want this to happen anymore.
You know, we got to figure this out.
Any little thing gets on my skin.
In fact, when I got ejected with Richard Hamilton, I mean, playing against the Pistons, Hamilton elbows me in the groin. I elbow him in the face.
I get the referee see the second one. Right.
But you can see the full action on television. But, you know, I get the tech.
Then in San Antonio, Sacramento Kings, Ginobili elbows me in the mouth. Busts my lip, by the way.
But then I elbow him in the face right boom i get the tech i get ejected right then you look at the look at the uh game seven and um rockets versus the lakers my brother kobe um kind of throw something at me in the neck i go back at him right i get ejected right so in my mind i'm like okay like do you really want to in the title. know so that's what me and my therapist focused on so it was it was it was focused on i was so competitive in many different ways and irrationally competitive you know so we had to focus on like where is where is the foundation at you know what you've been through as a child you know why do you have so much anger built up all this stuff and how can you uh improve yourself so you can be effective on the court and that's what we was working on um then game seven came and we i've been seeing her for a long time and the night before game seven i said hey i need you to come here today and she said now i said yes i can come in the morning she came in the morning we went to shoot around with the Lakers we had we had a quick session I was really worried about game seven so we had a quick therapy session before game seven and then you know the rest is history that's awesome so that's that's a great story of like you know persevering and and overcoming a lot of different you know mental things to get to that point and it had to have felt incredible once you reached that mountaintop i remember the story of you just you said afterwards you just hung out with your like couple closest friends and spoke 10 blunts and you're like this is awesome yes that's gotta be that's gotta be good do you remember what you talked about i mean obviously you don't have to share uh but with, like before, were you like, hey, I'm feeling nervous.
I'm feeling extra nervous. Yeah, I'll tell you what it was.
I'll tell you what it was. It was Paul Pierce.
Yeah. Yeah, I was worried he was going to get under my skin.
It was that – literally, I was worried he was going to get under my skin. But actually, and then Garnett, you know, Garnett is so competitive.
So when Garnett talks a lot of trash, but he's not always talking to you, like he's talking to the ref himself. And then Rashid talking trash too.
These guys are super intense and that gives me anxiety, you know, being around, you know, I had different experiences as a kid growing up playing basketball, know it wasn't just basketball it was violence
and basketball um so like growing up you know i i traumatized from certain actions i get traumatized by certain types of people and intensity and emotion because i take it as you know you want to fight yeah and you know although like you could be an nba game you're not going to really fight no consistently but it can take you
out of focus
so And, you know, although, like, you could be an NBA game, you're not going to really fight, you know, consistently, but it can take you out of focus. So I just, the Celtics, man, that team was intense, man.
And it was really hard to deal with. You know, it was really hard for me to deal with spiritually, emotionally, you know, and I wanted to just be able to block it all out.
You know, just worry about the game. And you put it mildly there with basketball and violence because you've talked about this extensively, but when you were growing up playing basketball, you watched a murder in front of you, right? That happened in front of you, and that has to have been something that changed your outlook of the entire game and how you played.
Well, that murder didn't happen in front of me. It was a guy named Lloyd Newton who we were like, we idolized Lloyd.
Yeah.
They were playing an away game, and we knew they were going away.
And we were waiting for them to come back.
Whatever the case may be, play some basketball.
Then word got back to us that Lloyd died on the basketball court.
They had a fight.
Somebody broke a chair, threw it through his heart. He dies.
I mean, the neighborhood was in disarray at this point. And then that's one incident that happened to us that scarred us for a long time.
And then we had other things that happened, you know, different places, different things happening on the court. You know, because us, we're going to go anywhere to play ball.
You know, if there's a game, we come in unless they're shooting. You know, then we might not come.
It's interesting. It's interesting, though, because it's natural.
I think it's a perfectly natural reaction if you grow up playing basketball and there's violence that's associated with the game and fights that take place. To still carry that with you when you play basketball at a high level, it's all you know growing up.
I think it can show you that it's a rational behavior that you have, a rational feeling that you have. Whereas other people from the outside might look at you and be like, oh, that's Ron Artest.
He's a hothead and not understand the full picture of it. But from your perspective, you were able to figure out how to manage that.
It sounds like it helped you out, especially against those intense Celtics teams. Yeah, I mean, you know, certain times, because it was always intense, so intensity wasn't an issue.
It's a gift and a curse. You know what I'm saying? It's a gift to play with the type of intensity I play with.
Only one time I've seen a teammate work harder, and that's when I got to the Lakers, and I saw Kobe, and I'm just like, I thought I was working the hardest. I had to play with everyone.
And my job was to work the hardest. And Kobe is different, different, different different type of guy you know um and it inspired me you know but yeah that was my thing was intensity hard work like don't give up and and get through anything you know um which you know like i said it's a gift and a curse yeah what would kobe do on the court uh during those battles to like would he help try to calm you down or keep you, you know, like if people are talking shit to you, how would he play a part to it? Because it does seem like from all the Kobe stories, he was, he was hard to be a teammate with, but he also was a very loyal teammate and, you know, was there for his teammates when the chips were really down.
It wasn't, well, you know, I think day one I brought in since you.
Like, my family. was there for his teammates when the chips were really down it wasn't well you know we called you know i think um you know day one i brought intensity like my first practice i got an argument with the whole team you know what i'm saying and i set the tone yeah i set the tone intense so so i didn't have no issues with kobe because i was bringing um and and that team that 2010 team everybody was bringing it that team so it wasn't that team that people were that 2010 team, everybody was bringing it to that team.
So it wasn't that team that people refer to, you know,
but that's the main thing, Kobe, that he loved intensity and he respects it.
And at the same time, I mean, I'm just naturally like that.
So it was a match made in heaven, honestly.
Yeah.
Who was the best coach you played for and maybe the worst coach
and why was it Tim Floyd? Hey worst coach and why was it tim floyd hey tim why wasn't tim floyd no that's funny we'll do who's the best coach give us the who's the best coach we can start with tim so tim was one of the reasons why i became a hell of a defender in the league for one um because we did a lot of defense in practice and he taught a lot of defense individual, individual defense. And I really credit him a lot with part of my NBA defense.
But you got to think about with Tim and R.P. Jerry Krause, they was running that show for Tim.
Tim wasn't running that show. Yeah.
You know what I'm saying? Tim wasn't running that show. And Tim had a tough job because, you know, why would you not take an NBA head coaching job, right? You get paid a lot of money and it's a huge opportunity.
So, you know, people get on Tim, but Tim was not running that show. We had to run a triangle, which I love the triangle, but not everybody understands the triangle, you know, and we had to put in certain guys because we were developing, you know, then we had veterans on the team and they deserve to be there.
Dickie Simpkins, Tony Kukoc, Greg Anthony, Will Perdue, BJ Anshon. They deserve to be there, you know, and get that last contract.
Right. So not everything Tim wanted to do.
So you can't really blame Tim. Yeah.
And he had to do it right after the Bulls. Yeah, he had to do it after after the Bulls he had to do it after the Dynasty Tim was my man Tim that's my guy I really like him so then with that being said I would say the best coach I ever played for it's hard I mean Phil Jackson is obviously the GOAT I mean Rick Carlisle is pretty impressive Rick Carlisle is like he's a hell of a basketball mark.
I mean, Phil Jackson is obviously the GOAT. I mean, Rick Carlisle is pretty impressive.
Rick Carlisle is like, he's a hell of a basketball player. I learned so much from that guy, which I carry with me to this day, you know, because I coach a lot.
And then I played for Isaiah Thomas. That was incredible.
You know, Isaiah was more, it was really easy for Isaiah because, you know, he knew everything.
He was a point guard.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
He had a great feel for the game. We had a great staff, so Isaiah was amazing.
I played for Mike Brown. Mike Brown is very methodical.
You know, he's very technical, got military background. You know, everything has to be perfect.
Everything has to be right. Great, great coach.
And then I played for, I mean, I played for Rick Adelman was incredible. Rick Adelman is incredible.
I mean, he don't get a lot of credit for how great of a coach he is. But, I mean, to be able to come to a practice and understand time management, understand how not to, you know, mentally drain your players, have a great practice, and your team is just flowing, it might look like we practiced hours.
Rick Adelman just knew what he had. And, I mean, he must have been a Michael Jordan, a coach from ours, because it was was way too easy for him.
It was way too easy. He's an incredible coach.
A lot of people would say that, too. Yeah.
What about your time over in Sichuan when you signed with the Blue Whales? What was your thinking process? Did they just have a nice check waiting for you? And you're like, you know what? Yeah, I can see myself living in China for a little bit. What was that like for you to kind of have to adapt to that whole new culture? Well, I would have never been there, honestly, if it wasn't for my injury.
So I tell my meniscus, takes about six weeks to come back. I tell my meniscus right before we play the Spurs in the playoffs.
And this is the year Kobe's out. Right? So I come back in five days.
You know, and a lot of people argue with me and say, you know, you can't come back in five days, you know, because this. But I go online with a meniscus tear.
The first thing the surgeon tells you to do is step and walk. That's the first thing they tell you to do from a meniscus tip.
So I was like, really?
You want me to step and walk?
I said, then why can't I just play?
They said, you got to give the time to heal.
So I go online and it shows
where you can heal from meniscus,
where you can walk or run in seven days.
So I did a ton of research.
I sent it to everyone, to the doctors.
And they said, okay, it's on you.
So dumbest mistake of my life in terms of my career. Came back too early.
I didn't hurt myself, but I was receiving a lot of fluid in my knee. So I had to keep draining the fluid.
The next year I go to the Knicks, my knee's not right. I'm only, you know, when my knee is right, I play well.
When my knee's, you know, filled with fluid, I can't play. It's like that extreme.
I either can play or I can't. So then I left the Knicks in January, and then the next season, at that point, I kind of thought my career was over, but the knee was getting better.
So then China called, and then I went to China, and then I went to Italy after that, And my knee got better. It took me about two years to fully heal.
And then I finished my career with the Lakers. Right.
The nickname, the Panda's friend, when you were over in China. That's why I asked.
I love that nickname. How did you give yourself that nickname? Or did somebody else give it to you? So my daughter loved Pandas, right? So my daughter loved Pandas.
I had a brand. I'm always trying to stay close to my kids.
So I said, let's just do a brand together. We called the Pandas Friend, right? And then literally when I named it the Pandas Friend, like a month later or maybe two weeks later, I get a call from the Sichuan Blue Whales, which said we would love for you to come play for China.
So I didn't change my name because I went to China. And I didn't change my name, but it was a brand.
It was never my name. It was just the name of a clothing line, which is, you know, it was a fun little clothing line, which sometimes, you know, it sells on Shopify.
Not a lot. So the story about your knee, that pretty much tells us maybe don't use WebMD to decide how to recover from a knee injury.
That's a good life lesson too.
I mean, well, you know, you can use WebMD, but I used it for my advantage, honestly.
Because I felt like I knew – I mean, I'm always thinking about a title.
We had one.
I want another one.
I mean, we had a great team.
We had Steve Nash, Dwight Howard.
I didn't know if I was going to be able to play with these guys again,
and for sure we didn't.
Thank you. I mean, I'm always thinking about a title.
We had one. I want another one.
I mean, we had a great team. We had Steve Nash, Dwight Howard.
I didn't know if I was going to be able to play with these guys again. And for sure, we didn't.
Those guys, Nash retired. You know, they broke it.
They broke it up. And, you know, I was in the playoffs, you know, with Nash, Howard, Powell.
Kobe was hurt. And I got a chance to – we got swept by the Spurs.
And I was on one leg um but it was great you know it was a great experience yeah isn't it crazy to think like you're the same age as Udonis Haslam and I think that Udonis Haslam is going to play for like five more years he's just going to like stay at the end of the bench for the heat is it if you had to if you had to come in like two three games a year and give, do you think you could still play in the league? I mean, I for sure could, but, you know, the league works like this. When you get towards the end of your career, I mean, you can either be like Haslam and, you know, the team can choose to pick you up, you know, or not, you know.
And if not, then what do you do after that? You know, do you go overseas or do you just retire and stay home? You know, and I was, you know, my last game in Stapleson, I had 18 in the second half, you know? So I could play, but I was trying to still play, but, you know, I just couldn't make it. I just couldn't be on the team.
I mean, name how many people who scored 18 in the second half you know and and and you know um actually i will my the games i towards the end of my career i wasn't playing i was mentoring for one the last two years i wasn't playing um but then you know when my career was almost over they decided to play me the last five games we were we weren-0, you know, my last five games.
And I'm happy with that.
You know, we won five.
I had 18 in the second half to end my career in Staples Center.
For sure I can play.
But, you know, that's one thing.
The other thing is a team would have to say, hey,
we would like you on our team.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This has been awesome. Thank you so much.
I had one last question. So everyone's go check out metaphorically speaking for more great stories from meta.
The last question. I believe you.
I am a big believer in this what happened to you. But I'd like to hear from your own words.
You were touched inappropriately by a ghost. That was a joke.
Damn. Come on.
But that's. Kesha had sex with a ghost too.
Yeah. It's a very popular thing.
And that's the Oklahoma City Hotel that everyone says is haunted. I know.
I was like, oh, the ghost touched me. But you know what did happen? So I was there in the hotel, right? So it's no wind, no windows open.
I was in the hotel for two hours at this point. And then I feel something go like this.
And we all know what an itch feels like, right? An itch is like, oh, I got an itch. That wasn't an itch.
That was a wind that blew right across my forehead. And I was like, okay.
I i said i already know what it is it's ghost so you did get touched by a ghost but i did get touched by a ghost inappropriate not inappropriately okay that part might be a little bit embellished but you were touched by a ghost it sounds like when your aunt pinches your cheek yeah you were touched by a ghost I was, I had to be what, what else could that have been? You know, it by a ghost. It sounds like when your aunt pinches your cheek.
Yeah, you were touched by a ghost. It had to be.
What else could that have been?
It was a ghost.
It was definitely a ghost.
That was a ghost, yes.
But we appreciate it, man.
This has been really awesome.
And anytime you're in New York City, back in New York, definitely stop by.
We'd love to have you back on.
And I just want to apologize and pardon my take if I said anything. You did that was a great interview that was a lot of fun seriously i enjoyed it seriously when you're in new york come to the studio we're right across from msg so stop in we'd love to talk to you in person yeah okay i will for sure come by and thanks a lot it was great being on your show all right thanks so much see ya met at sandin, our test was brought to you by our very good friends over at Coors Light.
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Now here is Usain Bolt. And now for something completely different.
Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. You know him very, very well because he's an Olympic legend, absolute legend.
It's Usain Bolt. He is joining us because he's working with Sprint Ray, which is democratizing dentistry through the launch of the Bolt Labs, powered by SprintRay.
So let's talk about that real quick before we get into other stuff. What exactly is this initiative? Because it sounds very cool, even though I hate going to the dentist.
You can, man. You can't hate going to the dentist.
It's necessary. You know what I mean? But I guess a lot of people are afraid of the dentist, but it's very important.
But for me, this initiative is important because a lot of people in Jamaica, it's hard for them to actually get to dentists. You know what I mean? I'm from the rural area, so I understand the need for this.
And this is why when Sprintway approached us, I was excited about this because for me, I'm trying to build a legacy outside of sports. And this is something that I'm excited about building because when you are here, you have to travel miles on miles to get to the dentist.
So we can get a mobile truck to get to these people. It's very important.
And I'm happy to be a part of this. So how does it work work somebody uses sprint ray and then uh it contacts a dentist for them who then is able to drive out to their actual house we will have a truck a bus whatever with all the dentists on it and then we'll go to the people we'll get to travel through um different different rural areas um we probably put a lot schedule so people know this is where we're going to be on this day.
So it's easier for people to access and for them to get to the dentist. Yeah, very cool.
So I have a very dumb question, but listeners to our show know that I usually ask this when we have certain athletes on. How cool is it to be that fast? Because I'm not a fast guy.
Like, is it just the coolest feeling in the world to just be faster than everyone all the time? Yeah, definitely. Trust me, it's something that I always smile about when I think about it.
Like, anybody that comes up to me and wants to race, I nico you got no chance you know so it's
definitely a cool vibe yeah are you the fastest person who has ever lived in the history of the planet yeah that's one thing that cannot be stupid that's such a cool thing to say like i am the best i'm definitively the best at doing something out of the billions and billions and billions of people that have ever walked on this earth.
Exactly.
It's a type of mix that's wonderful to have.
And it's a type of mix just one thing and it stands out and i'm i'm very proud of you i worked for that so yeah so how much faster can humans get at this point because it's always something interesting to project obviously it's not going to be possible for anybody to run 100 meters in five seconds right the human body just probably isn't capable of ever reaching that point but how much faster can people get you never know you know i mean um for me the possibilities and they keep trying to figure out ways because now even the other day they actually came out with new spikes that helps you to actually run faster you know i what I mean? So you never know what's next. You know what I mean? So for me, the possibility is endless right now because everything is getting better and better.
You know what I mean? So it's just levels. Can we say that the person who will break nine seconds has been born already? Maybe one of my sons is born.
Yeah. Yes.
I think you named your son Lightning, right? No, my son is Thunder. Okay.
Thunder. Thunder.
Thunder. The one thing I love, the story that I read, you've never run a mile, right? You've never run a distance of a mile.
No. That's awesome.
So what's the longest you've run? For me, I've gone to 820 meters just in training, just for work. But I've never gone past 820 meters.
I mean, it forced me to do it. I didn't want to.
Wait, so not even a jog? You've never run a jog mile or two miles? Some, like, I'm trying, but my calf, there's a thing, I have scoliosis. I do bad scoliosis.
So when I run for long distances, my back gets tight, and then it's like, yeah. So I avoid running long distances.
But when I was younger, I did do one five-mile run. And again, they forced me to do it.
That's incredible, though. The fastest man alive never ran more than a mile.
I also – so I looked up – I used to blog a lot more, but I had an old blog from 2013 that – I don't know if you could fact-check this, but you ate 100 chicken nuggets a day leading up to the beijing olympics it was it was wild it wasn't leading up um when i got to china it it was the food was was not something that i like you know i mean and in the village you know the village i have like a canteen like is massive so it it has all kind of different foods from like Asia and India and everywhere. And they had McDonald's in there.
And I knew McDonald's. I was like, you know what? To be safe, let's eat plus half chicken nuggets.
So I had a lot of chicken nuggets that whole entire time I was there. So this is like, I mean, you're the best because you're basically, you're the fastest man alive.
You won all these gold medals. You eat 100 chicken nuggets a day.
You don't run more than a mile. That is, you're the people's champion.
That is the key. Yeah.
That is the key. Yeah, it's very impressive.
What do you think about the most recent world champion, Olympic champion sprinter, Jacobs, the Italian guy? It seems, from an outsider's point of view, it seems interesting that a guy that has never broken 10 seconds before is now the Olympic gold medalist. Again, I'm not a doctor.
It just seems very interesting. For me, it's all about the moment.
At times, people get flustered in the moment because, to tell the truth, I was surprised too. But showing up on that line, and some people are in, some people are not trusted.
We are the Olympic finals. I know that the race could be anybody's race.
It plays on your mind as an athlete because this is the first time I'm not there to compete. So now everybody's saying who's going to win.
And the pressure is on everybody in that race.
So I think he was just more mentally prepared.
You know what I mean? And the other thing
is that the track, the tracks,
what are they making? The major is always
very good tracks. Trust me.
Yeah. The track was really fast
last year. That's the part that we didn't realize
too, that like the different tracks
in each one in the Olympics, they want
you to break records. So they make the track
like better and more conducive to running faster times every new Olympics. Yeah, definitely.
They're trying to figure out ways to make the tracks better, so it's better for sprinting and for running fast. So for some reason, I think Asia, like Japan and China, they're always excellent tracks.
Yeah. fast.
For some reason, I think Asia, Japan and China always make excellent tracks. I always enjoy competing on them.
You've been retired for a little bit now. If you just ran 100 meters today, how fast would you be? I have no idea.
I have no idea right now. I mean, I'll be just traveling and drinking and living.
I mean, that's a good life. But I wonder, like, you don't lose all of it.
You would still be very, very fast, I'd assume. I'd still be fast.
It's just running out would be a problem. But with regular people, I'd still smoke anybody.
Yeah, that's got to be awesome. That's got to be awesome.
So what's the fastest that you've ever run in competition?
Was it the 972?
It was the 9.58 second.
958.
Yeah, the 9.58 in competition.
Have you ever ran faster than that in training?
No.
Because competition drives you to run faster.
I mean, training is a shame.
No matter how hard you try to run in training or in fasting,
it's always just a competition.
What's the fastest that you've ever ran in training?
Like, how much of a boost do you get from the competition?
Well, it's big.
You know what I mean?
Like, I probably ran like nine in training.
That's probably the fastest, maybe nine, eight.
But otherwise, it's just slow times. Because competition is so intense, and the adrenaline gets pumping, and you get it down.
Yeah. I remember a couple years ago you were talking about maybe trying to work in some NFL football action, trying to get on the field.
You think that you could be an elite wide receiver. Getting hit is a different thing, but you could be like a Deshaun Jackson type, right? Where you just run as fast as you can to the end zone.
It'd be, you know, humanly impossible to guard you on defense. Have you taken any steps in that direction? That's something that I've definitely, when we started, but back in the day is they used to take receivers out.
Because I watched the NFL, so I know they normally take receivers out.
So that's something that when they approached it, people asked,
I was like, no, I'm good.
You know what I mean?
Because I didn't try to get my knees blown up or anything.
Yeah, I mean, especially with your height.
You are a Packers fan.
I'm a Bears fan.
I hate the Packers.
Oh.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. We're in friends.
We're in friends. So why do you like Aaron Rodgers? He's the worst.
I'll never say that. Aaron is the best.
He's the best. From very far with everybody, for me, it's been Packers.
I grew up watching the game. I didn't get every game, but I got a few games.
But this weekend, I'm going to remember, I'm going to tweet that to you.
Yes.
Yes.
This weekend, when we beat you this weekend, we'll talk.
I don't know about it, but yes, I mean, you guys beat us.
I'm going to follow you right now, so I'm going to tweet at you
when the Bears beat the Packers, which doesn't happen very often,
but that's going to happen. I guarantee it.
I'm going to personally guarantee it. So the Olympics, like, you know, the Olympics are, to me, I love watching the Olympics, but it does feel like at times it's fading going to be about the athletes.
You know what I mean?
They step up and people are excited.
Like someone about us, people are excited to see us so people will watch. So the athletes really put on great performance and make it big.
Then people will tune in no matter what, you know what I mean? So that's something that's all about the athletes, to really make people want to tune into the Olympics and watch the Olympics. So that's something big.
Yeah, it's also, I mean, your longevity
and also Michael Phelps' longevity coinciding
really kind of helped with, you know,
those were must-watch Olympics.
Yeah, I fully agree with this.
You know what I mean?
Michael Phelps in the world is just a dominant force.
You know what I mean?
He proved himself over and over again
that he's the best.
And for us to be at the Olympics at the same time,
every year people look forward to actually seeing us
Thank you. It's become one of my all-time favorite memes.
You can put anything on that, and it'll get a laugh out of me for a meme. Were you actually laughing at the guys behind you, or was it just a split second? I don't even remember what was going on in that race.
People were like, you're laughing. I was like, I don't remember laughing, but the picture got the picture.
It looked like it was laughing. And that picture kind of just blew up, you know what I mean? And I don't know.
don't even remember laughing But maybe I was smiling Yeah, it's a great You're just grinning at people It's almost like you're laughing at them Because they think that they can be faster than you And you're just like I'm the one who's fast Yeah Because everybody knew what they could be So it's always fun Yeah I The iconic. Yeah, it's a very iconic, iconic picture.
So the relay. America sucks at the relay now.
Why does America suck at the relay now? I really don't know. I didn't actually.
It was actually this year that I actually took note. I've never really taken note on the fact that they never get the baton around.
It's always something that goes wrong. It was this year that I actually watched it.
They said, let's see if Americans will make it. And they didn't make it.
And I couldn't believe it. I don't know.
You guys are such great athletes, such great runners over there in Geneva. So I never know why you guys never do good in the Olympics for what while.
Yeah, we can't do the baton thing. The baton.
What approach does Jamaica take to a baton that America does not? I don't know. For us, I guess we don't practice as much.
We just go in and it's like it happens. I like that.
Yeah, we practice too much. Don't overthink it.
Just be an athlete. Yeah, that could be hit.
That could be hit right now. It does make sense because you shouldn't have to plan out how to hand a baton to somebody.
It should just be something that you naturally do. You don't need to train specific muscle groups to hand a baton.
And we're so obsessed with sports science sometimes. We might do something like that.
The only difference with changing a bat is that it depends on the people you're bringing to because they have to get it ready to start. So if you're bringing somebody that's really fast, you have to make a stronger marker because there's a marker for when they actually take off.
And I think that's the only part you have to get right. I think it's easy to have a baton over, you know what I mean? Because you just have to be really safe, and there's the specific rules and things that they tell you as a baton changer.
Keep your hands thin. Do not feel, because a lot of people do that.
If they expect to keep the baton, they start moving their hands around, and that's how you drop the baton, and it's you're not going to box off. Yeah.
All right, so I I have one last question I'm very nervous to ask this question because you're a big soccer fan you're also the GOAT of running you're the GOAT of 100 meters 200 meters so from GOAT to GOAT who is your GOAT in soccer? God damn it I knew he was going to say. Are you a Man U fan? Is that why? Yeah, it's partially why, but Christian has proven himself from Manchester United to Real Madrid to Juventus and now back at Manchester United.
You know what I mean? Proven how? Tapping it in? Tapping it in?
Just penalties?
Between the two of you,
you've got,
you are the goats of a combined 106 meters.
Listen,
beating one team all your life,
what does that mean?
You know what I mean?
That's what I'm always saying.
That's why Tom Brady
left New England.
To prove to the world
that I'm the one
that got those rings,
not New England.
You know what I mean?
Thank you. That's why Tom Brady left New England, to prove to the world that I'm the one that got those rings, not New England.
You know what I mean? So that's how you have to do it. You have to prove to the world.
Everybody knows when Tom won that seven ring, he was like, all right, what do you got to say now? You know what I mean? That's why he left. He didn't need to leave New England.
So why didn't you run track for America? Oh, I thought I. You should have won us some gold medals.
No, the Jamaicans would have killed me. That would be a success.
Yeah, that would have been bad. That would have been really bad.
So are you going to root for Aaron Rodgers when he leaves Green Bay? That's us. I don't think he's going to leave.
Oh, yeah.
Well, then he's not to go.
He's leaving.
He is leaving.
I don't think he's going to leave.
You can't put that out there.
You can't put that out there.
I'm actually, whatever.
I guess I expected you to say Ronaldo,
but it does pain me a little that all you care about is, like,
tapping him from two feet out.
Watch this season.
Watch this season. I want you to record this.
Watch this season of Messi and PSG.
Thank you. feed out.
Watch this season. Watch this season.
I want you to record this. Watch this season of Messi in PSG.
And then we'll talk after this. Yeah, he's awesome.
He's the best. Can you imagine? Can you imagine if Messi...
He's won literally everything. He's just getting used to French culture.
You know what I'm saying? What has he done so far? He's getting used to it. Ronaldo has never won a – what's the South American Cup?
World Cup. It's a South American.
Yeah.
Okay, well, that's because they don't play defense in England.
Yeah.
It's a completely different league.
It's a farmer's league.
It's the number one.
They don't play defense.
No.
No. No.
Well, you have to go. They don't play defense.
No. No.
No.
Well, you have to go.
I know you have a hard out.
Yeah.
Listen, the league that we're in right now is like the fifth,
like the fifth best league in the world.
No, no.
Don't even go.
League A as bien. I love it.
I love all the leagues equally. Yeah.
So, I don't know what you're talking about. I think I knew this season, I knew this season, we should have another conversation.
Okay, perfect. Yeah, the Bears are going to beat the Packers and Messi's going to prove that he's a GOAT and we'll have you back on.
No worries. This weekend, this weekend, I will be too because I knew it.
No worries. Okay.
All right. Well, Usain, thank you so much.
We appreciate it. Awesome thing you're doing with Sprint Ray and helping get dental work to everyone in Jamaica.
So we appreciate you joining. No problem, guys.
No problem. Thank you, man.
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Okay, let's wrap up. We got Fyre Fest of the Week.
Then we'll send everyone on their way. Great interviews.
Thank you to Usain Bolt and Metta World Sandiford. Hank, your fire fest.
I alluded to it earlier. You know, I've been in a pretty spirited debate these past few weeks with Mother Nature herself.
Yep. The Queen said wind was a fraud.
It's not real wind. Only tornadoes real wind.
and then I talked to my real mother
and she said there was a fraud it's not real wind only tornadoes real wind uh and then i talked to my real mother and she said there was a major storm in situ on tuesday oh no 90 mile an hour winds oh no she was like we were in the house we thought we were gonna fly away like part of my roof fell off there's no power there's no service that's on you and yeah i was like i feel somewhat responsible yeah you should and it wasn't like situ it's a big like because it's you should. And it wasn't like, since it was a big like, because it's on the water.
So it's always like, there's going to be a huge storm. And then it's never really a big storm.
People freak out and nothing ever happens. This was like not really planned for.
And it was a huge, huge. A Nor'easter got you.
Yeah. Did you ask her how far she thought she could throw a football in that wind? No.
Well, that would have helped us for gambling. So miss on your part.
Sorry. Yeah.
Sorry, guys. Maybe next time.
Yeah. Tough, Hank.
Is your house damaged? Yeah, part of the roof fell off. So it's like actual damage.
You should probably be a good son and go up and fix it. I should have asked that question before this football question.
My bad. End up.
Is it okay? Oh, wait. We should say, yeah.
Is everyone okay? Was anybody injured? No. Okay.
Good. Not that I know of.
That would have been an all-time rug pull on us. My cat actually got hit with the roof and died.
If you mushed your family? Actually, she ran away. No.
This story's taking a lot of twists and turns. No, no.
It was an old cat. It was like 100 years old.
Was it? And it was... It ran away to its death? Yeah, it was a hunter, though.
It was like, we called it demon. A scoutie? It was a demon cat.
Whoa. And it would just fucking merc, you know.
It would just come home like mice, blah, blah, blah. She'd disappear for a few days.
It'd be like, she's gone. And then she'd just reappear.
God. She was not like a house cat.
Sounds like she could definitely take some wind, though. Yeah.
If she was still around, she would have been fine. Okay.
That's good. That's actually incredible.
Cats, say what you want about cats, but I've heard that type of story before where an indoor-outdoor cat, instead of having their owners have to put it down just like walk
away one day just like that's it yeah like it was because there was multiple times where it was like
the cat's been gone for two weeks it's gone and then it would just reappear
so it took like it took like a solid like drama queen i'm sure my mom is still like low-key like
oh maybe she'll come back yeah all right name another pet though that could just leave the
house and survive on its own for like two weeks i don't't think a dog would ever be a dog. A dog's mission, if it ever ran away, would just be find the next human and run up to it and introduce yourself.
Yes. A cat is like, fuck this.
I'm going Rambo. Yeah.
I'll see you when I see you. Mm-hmm.
PFT, your firefest? My firefest is I have a zit. Oh, no.
As a 27-year-old tough that is tough i'm well past puberty and i'm just convinced i'm gonna keep getting them until i'm 28 29 30 years old brutal it's just it's bad i woke up the other morning and my face hurt and i was where is it it's right there i put makeup on it today oh no yeah man card big man card but you know what damn Damn. All these glaring lights, I couldn't have it reflecting off there.
But yeah, I got a pretty nasty zit right now. I don't know how to make it go away.
Squeeze it. Yeah.
I tried. Pop it.
I tried. Rub some pepperoni on it.
It's unpoppable. It's an unpoppable zit.
Bubba has a fire fest, too. Oh, Bubba, you got a fire fest? Special edition.
I actually forgot about this. I told Hank.
So I kind of want Billy and Jake's input on it as well. So when you guys were gone Thursday.
We had planned to do a video. Which Billy had planned.
To go mini golfing. And it was a mini golf thing.
That was made for like 4 year olds. We did like 2 holes.
Like you couldn't even fit at the place the footage you have to release the footage no i i literally we had to stop i was like i can't film here it was all children you have to release i have it as black now no release the footage blur the kids faces out and release the foot no it's it was so it was so bad we couldn't you know what we gotta do you know what we gotta do i'm not i'm not cutting together this video. It's so bad.
No, you have to cut it together. We got to do.
We got to incentivize people. What are we at right now on the YouTube? We'll do a YouTube premiere where PFT and Hank and I watch it for the first time and commentate on it.
They stopped doing the video. 313.
How many? All right. When we get to 325.
How many minutes of footage do we have for this? I have no idea. All right.
When we get to 325, we're going to release the footage, and we'll do a live watch with everyone. And PFT Hank and I will sit here and watch it and comment on it.
I don't even know if I dump the footage. Oh, no.
Billy, what happened with the planning there? My planning was I planned it down pack. I got the tickets, got the venue.
He didn't look at it. It sounds like the venue was the major problem with this.
Okay, there was a video made there already. So it was possible to make a video there.
How old were the people that made it? 40s. Okay, so you go out there.
How many kids are around? There are mini golf courses in New York. Yeah.
It was a very good. It was a premier mini golfing.
It doesn't sound like it was premier. Text me the address.
No, I'll admit it. It was my idea.
I saw an Instagram ad of it. It was Pixar Putt.
Okay. So it's a pop-up.
It's not a real mini golf course. Got it.
Each hole was modeled after a Disney movie. That sounds pretty fun.
Yeah, it sounded fun. It looked fun.
That sounds like something I would like. Was there a car sold? I picked the tickets.
We only finished the front nine.
Okay, yeah.
Wait, who won?
Holy shit, Billy.
This is so small.
It was tiny.
I'm looking at the pictures.
You didn't...
Dude, it's like...
Look.
I thought it would be a fun idea for a video.
I'm going to take my son to this, and this is very small.
But what...
That doesn't mean...
That means it would be comically funny to watch us do it. you were doing that on purpose Hole 14 is cars Oh so you were doing it as a bit It'd be hilarious to watch us do that Except that like we were on top of people So they like kind of couldn't even talk Or like make jokes Got it Alright we'll watch it So there's a Buzz L's a Buzz Lightyear hole? I want to see this.
I want to see this. Have you guys seen the- There's a few Toy Story holes.
Have you seen the commercial for the new Buzz Lightyear movie? Yeah. Creepy.
I'm going to take my son of this. Very creepy.
It's going to be awesome. Hard pass.
All right. My Firefests, I think, I've always had good vision my entire life.
I think I'm starting to- Last night, I spent an entire night- Do you ever- Damn, that sucks. Right as you were starting to see the board.
Yep. No, I actually...
This might be part of it. I've been so bad gambling this year.
You ever turn on your TV, and you think that someone fucked with the settings? Like something's like the ratios, the zoom in or something? Yeah. Spent all night trying to figure it out, and I'm pretty sure it's just my eyes.
You should get checked for diabetes. What? Holy, you're the worst.
This is like that time I had diarrhea and Billy was like, COVID. Remember that? Billy is a walking WebMD.
If you could edit WebMD like you could Wikipedia, that's what Billy's brain is. You might have river blindness.
In which case, ivermectin, right? Of course. I honestly think it's just the fact that I stare at a screen all day every day and every weekend is 20 hours of watching football is probably not great.
Imagine if you went blind and had to wear sunglasses all the time. That would suck.
Billy, you're Firefest. Everyone thinks I look like Buzz Lightyear.
Yeah, I was just about to say like, wow, it's a trending topic on Twitter right now. It wasn't anything about your tweet last night? What tweet? Read it out loud.
Do a Monday reading. By the way, I have a Monday reading for us that we will do on Monday if we have enough time.
I've got one too. What's yours about? Mine is...
Wait, hold on. Hold on.
I've got mine right here. I've got to pull mine up.
Hold on, hold on. Where the fuck is it? Read the headline at the same time.
All right, three... Are we doing the headline or just saying what it's about? Ready? Three, two, one.
The 37-year-olds... Alabama student crowned homecoming queen despite election violations.
Okay, we're different. Okay.
Mine was the 37-year-olds are afraid of the 23-year-olds who work for them. I agree with that.
Yeah. Did I write that? No, it was Billy wrote that.
I read the first paragraph. Billy wrote it.
Okay. Basically, like, why are all these bros afraid of me? We might have to do double Monday reading then because there's some shit going down at the University of Alabama.
Okay. Billy, you're Fyre Fest.
Is this tweet? I think it's a good tweet. Okay, go ahead.
I'm getting a lot of shit for it, though. Even though it was a good tweet.
Somewhere out there, girls with zero interest in baseball are rooting for the Astros because they think it might help their astrological sign. Now, wait.
I don't get it, Billy. Can you explain it to me? Girls who don't like baseball.
So you're saying girls don't like sports? No, no. Girls who don't like baseball.
There are girls who like baseball. What about guys that don't like baseball? Maybe who are also a fan of astrology.
Yeah, so why did you say girls specifically? Because they don't have interest in baseball. Well, anyway, they're rooting for the Astros because they think it might help their astrological sign because they have no skin in the game and they're just rooting for the Astros because they're minds of astrology.
Because the name and some of the players eat pancakes because they do pancake blocks. Yes.
Can you put in a laugh track there, Hank? I'm Billy reading his tweet aloud. I did like the quote tweets.
Some people obviously were trying to cancel you for real. Those people are losers.
I like this person, though, Alexis, who is mad about the astrology part of it. She said, if they have zero interest in baseball, why would they be rooting for anybody? This is dumb.
Say you don't understand astrology and go. I'm going to retweet it right now, actually.
Just fucking admit you don't know astrology, bro. Look, man door when you're shooting from the hip a lot don't come out the best no but billy did a great job of he said that he wasn't trying to appeal to his current audience which is in that case caucasian james you did an awesome job of not appealing to your audience right but it still did well or any audience studio audience all right j go ahead finish this up yeah so you guys actually saw this a few weeks ago it happened again yesterday i go in the shower with my apple watch and it randomly uh sends drawing in eye messages that happened yeah remember a few years ago yes yes yes yes yes so it's just bugging out yesterday to my friends that sent a lion kissing emoji out of nowhere.
Just like the water, I guess, hits it.
A lion kissing?
Yeah.
I didn't even know that was an emoji.
I didn't either.
I love it.
I love it.
So it's annoying.
Jake's freaky like that.
In the shower?
Yeah.
Wow.
Crazy.
You got to start taking advantage of that.
You should just send the most foul pictures.
Oh, it's an accident.
Sorry.
I butt dialed you. Yeah.
How how long you taking the shower under five okay
nice yeah i feel like that's standard long showers have like i feel like that's a tough
life they live because they just like i know you know people who like get in the shower and they
just lose track of time yeah they're always late that's you hank they just like zone out in the
shower and they're always late i feel bad for those people i don't think they do it on purpose
Thank you. they're always late.
That's you Hank? They just like zone out in the shower and they're always late. I feel bad for those people.
I don't think they do it on purpose. No my biggest problem is that I'll be like I have 10 minutes to shower but then I don't factor in the like getting ready and stuff time after.
Yeah. So usually it's like a 20 minute.
That's guy stuff. It's a 20 minute process.
The worst part about having long hair without a doubt is how long it takes you in the shower. Yeah.
It's awful. What, Billy? Remember when I used to plan when I started my shower to when I got to work as my commute and you guys called me crazy? Yeah.
That's why I did it. Oh, because you had to take into account the fact that you take 20-minute showers? No, but just like- How long does it take to- Do you shower with the frogs or do they get bathed separately? He uses them as loofahs.
It takes me exactly an hour from when I start getting ready to get to work. Got it.
Okay. This is another good reply to Billy's tweet.
Somebody replied asking a question, what sign would this be helping? Which is a fair point. It's nothing.
And then Billy says, astrology as a whole.
Like rooting for the league.
It would just be helping out the entire industry.
Oh, man.
All right, numbers.
93.
By the way,
Army has less passing yards
than the Bears.
614.
There we go, Billy.
Thank God.
That would have bumped me out.
69.
A team that literally doesn't want to pass.
Ape straight together.
97.
Oh, yeah.
Reminder, Kyler Murray's missed for September-October for today.
Say it again.
Kyler Murray's missed for September-October.
You said the beginning of next season and Thursday.
38.
I don't remember 38.
I don't either.
Is it new? We got to call me? Hank's just... This is our fifth time.
Fifth time? Yeah. I mean, you were trying to pretend like you have an internal, you know, remembrance of what numbers came out.
Yeah, it's true. That's true.
But I agreed with him. I was like, yeah, no, I don't remember either.
To tell you the truth, the only ones I ever remember... I remember 47, and then 92 has happened a couple times.
Recently, April 29th was the last time it happened.
Yeah, it's been a long time, Hank.
Apologize, Hank.
Has number 22 ever been called?
Because I got a very troubling email from someone named Kevin who said,
Is 22 in the lottery machine?
I've been guessing 22 every show. I can take them all out and take a picture.
I've been guessing 22 every show for months, only to be disappointed every time,
including the time you guys did like 50 numbers for Blake of the Year. Please let me know my mental well-being is on the line.
I'm sure that there's a 22. No, I feel like he's right.
I feel bad for that guy. I'm sorry, dude.
I'm eyeballing it right now. I don't see 22.
All right, we'll get back to you. Jake, we'll do an audit.
Yeah. Love you guys.
I'm talking away. The Saves my life Saves anyway It's gonna change Today's a night I'll close my eyes Day to find you Begin to pray Shying away The tears of joy Stream down I'll be coming for your love of King.
Take on me. Take me.
I'll be gone. And I'll become an empty home dream Well I don't know Needless to say I'm all descended So tears are mine But I'm me I have to be Stolen away I'll take away I'll take up by my side Say it all It's the better to preserve itself Take on me
Take me on
I'll become
An interruption We'll see you next time.