Bill Burr, Rugby Legend Tendai Mtawarira, NFL Week 7 Picks And Fyre Fest Of The Week With A Hypothetical Podcast Fight

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify,

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On today's Pardon My Take, we have a twofer for the people.

We have Bill Burr, recurring guest, all-time guest, back on the show.

He's got a new tour coming up.

We chop it up with him about different things in the sports world, comedy.

And then we have one of the greatest rugby players of all time. I'm going to butcher his name so i'm just going to call him the beast definitely tune into that he will be in studio so it was an awesome interview i learned a lot about the game of rugby we know pft loves rugby but uh it was great for anyone who doesn't know rugby or people who do know rugby we also have nfl Week 7 picks.
Tough slate, bad slate, but we find some good picks out of there. We have Fantasy Island Boys because I'm an island boy.
And then we have Fire Fest of the Week, a little old school part of my take this week because we're in Colorado, so it's just me, PFT, and Hank. We're going to get right back to the show.
I get those goosebumps every time. In the Champions League quarterfinals on Paramount+.
It's do or die, kill or be killed. Every decisive moment gives you goosebumps.
Arsenal has been ruthless. I get those goosebumps every time.
It's now or never. Survive and advance in the ultimate club soccer competition.
Real Madrid are through to the quarterfinals. I get those goosebumps my take.
Let's go. Boys! Boys! Now in the street there is violence.
I We'll be Minver. We landed a couple hours ago i gotta admit the altitude is already getting the best of me i took the elevator up here which adds an extra i don't know like 30 40 feet easily um i'm exhausted i'm tired that's not from not getting any sleep last night that's from just being in the altitude i'm going to just blame everything on the altitude while I'm here.
Absolutely. So we're in Colorado.
We are taping before the Broncos play the Browns because we have an event tonight. Pop Punk is playing.
We're doing a game watch for the Broncos and the Browns. So we're going to do a little choose your own adventure on tonight's game, which we looked at the schedule.
and schedule and we're like hey if there's ever a night that we could maybe tape beforehand teddy bridgewater versus case keenum everyone in the browns hurt except jarvis landry's back uh both teams reeling bad weather wind hank are you sure there was supposedly no we got faked up by wind. Fool me once, shame on me.

Fool me twice, shame.

We won't get fooled again.

Supposedly wind.

And we're here in person.

There's no wind.

The game's going to be in Cleveland.

Oh, I thought that's why we were in Colorado.

Is that a bit you just did?

No, that was real.

Okay.

Do you think I could kick the field goal 36 yards out here?

I thought that was part of the thing, whatever.

Well, no, it was the only standalone game that we could find on the Broncos schedule. That makes sense why they're underdogs.
All right. Okay, breaking news.
Welcome to the world's number one sports podcast. It's in Colorado.
Well, we did do this whole travel to Colorado for the Broncos game. Yeah, to watch the game.
I do do that often, though, where I will spend an entire week being like, one place and then find out right before and be like well that sucks because everything I thought is now reversed. But yeah, we're here in Colorado.
No wins here. No one's here.
No wins here. No one's here on either team except maybe John Elway.
Hank and I had a fabulous lunch at John Elway's restaurant. No big deal.
Baker might be here.

We don't know that.

Baker could be here.

He could be.

I actually kind of like the fact that we're getting at least one Thursday night football game with a case.

Yes.

But we need a case or a Blake playing in Thursday night football.

It's good to have Case Keenum back.

Although, he did wear his backwards hat.

So, Colin Coward has erased him as well in terms of franchise quarterback.

So, quick choose your own adventure.

I bet on the Broncos because I'm rooting with a bunch of Broncos fans tonight.

I'll see Broncos win. I'm going to say Broncos 19, Browns 17.
That's a good score. That is a good score for this game.
I'm going to say Broncos 24, Browns 13. Okay.
Hank? Broncos 35. What? Okay.
Browns 29. Whoa.
Who's going off tonight for the Broncos? Teddy Two Gloves. I actually think that Hank is probably going to be the closest to being correct because it's basically a law that whenever you think a Thursday night football game is going to suck, it ends up ruling.
It's always good. Now, what about this wind factor that I keep hearing so much about? If you're used to playing in Colorado, you're used to playing in the thinnest of all air.
Isn't wind just really heavy air moving in one direction? I'm looking up weather right now. I'm not a meteorologist.
This is great, too, because none of this matters because when people listen to this, it will already have been decided. But we do know that tornadoes is real wind tornadoes is 100 real wind i'm looking right now it says next hours it's going to be uh somewhat oh wind 26 miles per hour that's pretty windy that's windy that's windy that is officially wind this you know this will be a great game to see if like how much an addition of a team leader who plays a position that's entirely reliant on another position can help out.
Cause Jarvis Landry, he's a dog. We know he's a dog.
He does that on that team. He adds the grip.
If he can like will the Browns to victory, it'll be like, I don't think that case Keenum is going to go out there. Well, this is a case Keenum revenge game.
Let's not forget. Yeah.
The only thing that I'm worried about with betting on the Broncos is that Odell Beckham has like spent his entire time in Cleveland just talking to backup quarterbacks being like you should be the starter and when you're the starter we're gonna go off so like he because it's clear that he and Baker maybe aren't on the same page all the time is that fair to say so maybe he's just been on the same page as Case and Case Keenum just throws him bombs and we see old school odell which odell beckham like i he's one of those players that he could play another 10 years and i'll just be waiting for him to take a slant to the house because that's just what he did with the giants it just hasn't been there i would like credit for when big cat just now said odell has been talking to number two i didn't say anything i think that earns me at least one or or two Rick Riley jokes over the next two episodes. There you go.
Although by saying it, you did say it. No, but I didn't say it.
You acknowledged it. I said that I didn't say it.
Verbal meme, I'm that kid that's trying to hold in a fart in class, trying not to talk about Odell Beckham getting shit on his face. Yeah, with his face all red and all the veins.
That's me. That poor kid.
We got to get that kid on. We should do like inside the memes.
It's actually pretty good. Yeah, we should.
We should just have just different memes on. Remember Scumbag Steve? He's probably doing someone's fucking life insurance right now.
Scumbag Steve's dead. I want to meet the distracted boyfriend guy.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, that guy.
All right, so we're going to talk about our preview. We preview we're gonna do our entire weekend preview uh like i said at the beginning uh we it's old school pmt it's just pft hank and i in the room what it was for the first couple of years all the rest of the crew back in new york we have their picks though we have their fire fest but before we do our weekend preview.
We've got to do a couple quick stories real quick. So, Ben Simmons.
Ben Simmons

is every... their fire fest but before we do our weekend preview we got to do a couple quick stories real quick so ben simmons ben simmons is everything we've wanted and more if you missed it uh if you're living under a rock ben simmons is now claiming a back injury so rodney dangerfield from caddy shack he's saying out my back he also is claiming mental health which checkmate you can't really say anything about that so So I'm going to bypass that.
But I'd like to applaud Ben Simmons for being so brave. Yes, exactly.
Would you like to agree? Yeah, I would say it's okay to not be okay. No, Hank says K-Y-S.
You're saying he's faking it? Yeah. Okay.
But yeah, checkmate Ben Simmons. If you are faking it, total scumbag.
But I'm not allowed to say that because I don't know. Right? If he is faking it, he's actually setting mental health way back.
Way back. I certainly hope that he's not.
You know what's funny is like this. I saw people comparing the Ben Simmons situation to the Jimmy Butler situation.
Totally different. Because Ben Simmons could not show up and beat his entire team in practice if he wanted to.
That's really the ace in the hole that Jimmy Butler had. Yeah, I keep saying it, and I feel like there's some people who still don't understand it.
Like, Ben Simmons is the reason why the Sixers have been held back. It's not that he – like, if Joel Embiid was holding out, it'd be a completely different scenario here because Joel Embiid is their best player by far and away.
Yeah, if Ben Simmons had any sense of humor, what he would do is he would actually try to practice practice his ass into shape work on his three-point shot in the offseason then start playing and start airballing every shot intentionally whoa well he wouldn't have to do it intentionally no i'm saying like he should get good enough to the point where doc's like we got a new ben he's a definite starter right now like we love what he's done in the offseason and then get out there and start dunking on his own hoop. It would be great, though, if that spurred an idea.

Like, what if he just came back and he just shot every time he touched the ball?

Yeah.

So didn't even have to practice his shot.

But like he could then say, you guys wanted me to shoot.

Now I'm shooting.

I suck at shooting.

Which one is it?

Be careful what you wish for.

Yeah.

But either way, Daryl Morey, I think he is probably read Art of the Deal because he said they are willing to have this last four years. The entirety of Ben Simmons' contract.
He just anchored the negotiation. He said, we're not going to trade him unless we get a true piece back.
And if this has to go on for four years, it will go on for four years. Here's to four years.
I hope it does because that would be hilarious. But Daryl Morey, good counter move to Ben Simmons saying he's dealing with mental health.
Yeah, I'm looking at the stacks of money and who am I going to bet on? Ben Simmons' money running out first or Michael Rubin's money running out first? And he's not even the majority owner. Yeah, right.
So like Michael Rubin's bank account times 25. Yes.
Also, if you guys want to go to a game this year, I got an email from Michael Rubin's assistant inviting me to a game. It felt personal.
I got a DM from Lil Uzi Vert. So yeah, it felt personal, but we should pick a game and all of us go.
Okay. Why not? I mean, it was a mistake for him to have.
I think that he I think the what Michael Rubin's assistant does is send it to anyone who's ever gone to a game with him so but it was a mistake because like pick any game you want to go to we should pick like the Lakers and be like can we have 10 floor seats please we should go and Hank should wear a free Ben Simmons shirt yes you should be rooting for Ben Simmons to come back actually yeah I am yeah okay I'm Ben Simmons biggest fan Ben Simmons' biggest fan. Shout out Michael Rubin, though.
We like him. All right.
So that was story number one. Story number two is, Hank, you were a blown Laz Diaz pitch away from being in the World Series, and now the Red Sox seem to be maybe dead.
Where's the panic button at? It's high. It's high? It's high.
Riding high. I might have mushed the team.
There's a lot of people that listen to this podcast that maybe don't listen the day after they listen a few days after and i've been getting tweets like today and yesterday being like hey just listening to uh wednesday's show thanks for mushing the red socks i shout out by the way that group of people because i actually love those people the the the like tuesday commenting on the monday show i i love those people i don't know what's going on in their life that they listen a full day after. But there is like a full group of people that I notice.
Yeah. So whoever's listening to this right now on Saturday, happy weekend.
Well, I would like to hear from people that are listening to this on Monday. Yeah.
After NFL. You know who those people are.
Those are people whose teams lost over the weekend. No, those are perverts.
Perverts. Because they're listening to us be wrong about everything yeah that's like when like the pick them the pick them has like the most views it has is always on sunday morning because people want to listen to how many picks we got wrong perverts but that's also people that maybe their teams lost this weekend and so they want to deflect and they want to feel mad at somebody else not their team yes listen to us be wrong about everything then it was our fault that your team lost yes all right so back to it hank nice deflection there yourself um red sox dead live i actually did think they were going to win the world series and they that pitch i it's this is my point about robot arms because robot arms became the trend after that it was a blown strike three call like he should right a strike three.
And he was bad all night for both teams.

But I think no one,

it really,

no one has any pity for either side,

but either way,

robot umps,

while in,

in the idea of them is good.

The fact that you can't then complain about things forever sucks.

So like right now,

I think that Red Sox fans can realistically say they would have won this

series if it wasn't for last DS.

If you have a robot ump,

Thank you. sucks so like right now i think that red sox fans can realistically say they would have won this series if it wasn't for last ds if you have a robot ump and you don't and you lose the series you have no one to blame that's fine okay all right what have you lost it just regular like no one wants to lose it's like the old like don't ever try too hard because then if you fail it's like well you tried your hardest and you failed like don't ever have a robot decide who's the better team, because if you're not the better team, then you can't blame a robot.
Well, I also think that if you switch over to the robot, that you can still get mad and be like, we should never have taken the human element out of the game. Yeah, yeah.
But either way, it does. I'm going to say it, Hank.
It sucks for you right now. I feel some sympathy.
Yeah, I mean, you've got to win game six, and then game seven, anything can happen.

There you go.

And then we're taping it before the Braves-Dodgers game. This will be an all-time Atlanta curse slash Big Cat mush,

but I think the Braves are going to kill the Dodgers tonight.

Your confidence in the Braves.

It's bad.

You should never be confident in the Braves.

Yeah, but maybe that's ever.

Big Cat came up, like, I don't know, 30 minutes earlier.

We've been sitting in the room,

and he's just been talking about the Braves.

It's like, makes no sense, makes no sense. Never be confident at all in Atlanta sports.
That's just a general rule of thumb. But what happens when a noted terrible shit for brains gambler, lifetime loser in myself, gets confident about Atlanta sports? Maybe that's the perfect storm.
You think to reverse it. Yeah I start believing, that's two negatives equal positive.
I think that you're the last person that would ever believe in him. Like the actual Atlanta Braves fans.
I believe him. Do not believe in this team.
They think that you're being a sucker because you have not experienced the same heartbreak that they have. But I'm saying this is now the perfect storm.
The Braves are in the World Series. Congratulations to the Braves.

I'm rooting for the Braves. Anyone?

I'm rooting for the Braves.

Clap for me.

I'm rooting for them.

Clap for the Braves.

I'm not going to do that to Atlanta.

They're in the World Series.

I'm not going to do that to Atlanta.

This is going to suck so bad.

I'm not going to do it to them.

People are going to be so mad.

I want the Braves to win because Max isn't pitching.

Trey Turner's hurt, right?

Yeah.

So, yeah.

So, the baby Nats.

Yeah.

They're not involved in this right now.

Max has a dead arm possibly.

Dead arm.

Yeah, that's tough.

So,

Thank you. pitching Trey with Trey Turner's hurt right uh yeah so yeah so the baby Nats yeah they're not they're not involved in this right now Max has a uh yeah dead arm dead arm yeah that's that's tough so Joe Kelly you said is starting it's gonna be a bullpen game which I love I don't know I always got in my head since I was a kid that starting pitchers and relief pitchers and then closers all play completely different positions in baseball turns out they're the same exact position correct just some guy along way was like, you feel like a middle reliever to me.
And then for the rest of that guy's career, he's stuck throwing middle relief. Right.
But if you have like six decent pitchers that can all go for an inning or two, why wouldn't teams do this more frequently? Yeah, the Rays. The Rays do it all the time.
I think the Dodgers are doing it on a necessity tonight. I think if they had a healthy Max Scherzer, they'd probably be more pumped.
Of course. But, yeah, so that was our baseball talk.
Again, apologies to Braves fans if I was wrong. But I think, you know what? No, I'm not going to apologize.
You're in the World Series. I made a responsibly large wager on the Braves to win game five, and they went out and they proved me right.
So tonight is actually National Sports Day. I just made up that holiday, but it should be national sports day because you have every major sport playing tonight and you have college football playing tonight yeah what wouldn't we save it for oh i guess yeah because yeah yeah you're right yeah saturday and sunday yeah don't have the great day of sports day great day enjoy hope you guys had a great time last night watching your atlanta braves make the world serious dallas clap, Braves.
All right, last thing before we get to our weekend preview, just a quick word about our good friend Coach O, who I hope we have on the show at some point, but we have to call out the fact that the Athletic had a retraction about the pregnant story. Did you see that? No.
Yeah, they had to. So there's a story.
Contraction. A contraction.
The story was that Edo hit on a woman at a gas station who was pregnant. And also her husband was a high ranking LSU official.
The editor's note that was just slid in there like on Wednesday said this story has been updated to reflect that the woman Ed Ogeron encountered at a gas station was not pregnant. As previously reported, the athletic regrets that error.

That's fucked up.

You can't do that.

That's an all-time ricochet shot at that woman.

Because you're never supposed to say to a woman like, hey, congrats.

When are you due on the off chance that they're not pregnant?

This got published in a national article spread across all the seven seas.

So everyone now thinks having an apology for calling you pregnant in a written piece of journalism that's bad journalism and it's also coach o has been we've made some jokes hand up because there have been funny jokes um and we love the guy he knows that we love him all we know that everyone lsu knows that we love them um but people who ran with this story and then they just like oh yeah sorry we fucked up hopefully we have Coach O on at some point to help clear the air on some of these stories and I think I'm moving past the jokes and I'm just going to keep reminding people 2019 is one of the best college football teams of all time coached by Coach O and the story continues to evolve about the girlfriends at practice yeah no that was now now it's like their kids were running drills at practice and now you've got guys on the team being like no this never happened but even if it was true which it wasn't if it was true wouldn't that just mean that coach oh was recruiting harder than ever he's like dating the moms of the kids that he's recruiting and then bringing them to practice and putting them in drills that sounds to me like a good coach either way I I never thought any of this stuff was bad I thought that coach oh probably the reason why he's getting fired is because SEC fans are crazy and he had two bad years and that's just how it works in the SEC and I think coach oh is probably at peace with that uh the other stories well well funny when they were thrown out there and I love coach oh to the point the point where I want to believe every Coach O story because they're all – I view them all as positives, not negatives. Either way, that retraction came out, so I think that's bullshit by the athletic.
I've got my eyes on you, athletic. Guess what? Banners fly forever.
Yep, that's true. Flags fly forever.
Coach O, whenever he's ready to come on the show, we're going to have him on the show, and we we will address it all and he can just be like yeah none of it's true head on make us love him even more um all right let's get to our weekend preview before we do that a quick word from our friends at zip recruiter uh think about the major life-changing moments you've had like buying your first car getting married having your first kid or moving to a new city of course there's also landing that big job you've been going after, which can bring new opportunities for growth, hopefully a higher salary, new co-workers, new friends, awesome new career achievements. Whether you're trying to get your first real job out of college, achieve a new title, or land your dream job, you should go to ZipRecruiter.com slash take, because ZipRecruiter makes it easy to find the next job that could change your life.
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Week 7. it's not great.
It's not great. We've got bye weeks, and we've got some games that look on paper, if you're just going off of spreads, look like they could be big-time blowouts.
This is when football sneaks up on you. This is when football sneaks up on you.
So it's the combination of, listen, Sunday Night Football, Sunday Night Football, but we've had a really good run of Sunday Night Football games and it feels like everyone's very excited for minus week one when the Bears played this one feels like the Colts in the in the 49ers feels like maybe a little air out of the Sunday Night Football and it's supposed to be bad weather but either way the Bills the Cowboys the Vikings the Steelers the Chargers and the Jaguars are all on by like just on paper the bills the cowboys the vikings the steelers the chargers and the jaguars are all on by like just on paper the bills the cowboys uh the vikings and chargers are four of the funnest game teams and then you add big ben and sealers yeah yeah and you add big ben that so five out of six of the teams and even watching urban lose is fun so like six teams that are all very fun and make make Sundays fun are all on bye. Do you ever do the thing when the season starts where you look at when your team's bye is and you're like, that's a good position for a bye week right now? Oh, yeah.
Six is too early now. Six is.
I used to think it was, like, almost perfect. But now, especially with the 17th game, like, I would not want – you know what the perfect week is? If you have a week 11 bye, I was gonna say 10, 11 is the perfect week for a buy because you get kind of get over that hump a little bit.
And that point you get to gear up for the stretch run. It's like week 11 by is like waiting till one 30 to eat your lunch.
Yeah. You know, where you're like, Ooh, when I get back from lunch, I only got three hours.
You're basically done already. You just hold out.
And then a week four by is like when i sometimes will eat lunch at 9 45 in the morning yep and just be like fuck week 11 if you had to pick one it's absolutely this year it's week 11 by week six they should they should absolutely space out you can't give us like the cowboys and the stealers right have the same bye week that's not right and the vikings i'm not i don't like the vikings but they objectively play fun games yes they're always in it like the last second so um that sucks either way let's get into the games let's do the picks uh we will we'll fill in jake and billy and liam's picks uh for the drive to survive or what are we calling it yeah drive to the 405 drive to the 405 to live and die in la um hank want to start with your favorite your favorite favorite let me guess hank because you've been riding these boston parlays pretty hard not going great but yeah i have been yeah go ahead take a guess the new england patriotsivalry game, Billy versus Hank. Yeah.

It's going to be great, which, by the way, there was some talk today about them fighting in Rough and Rowdy.

It was.

It was coming from my mouth, and Hank said no.

You know who I really miss right now, honestly?

I miss Jake.

Yeah, I miss Jake, too.

I miss Jake so much.

I miss Jake and Bubba.

Yeah, big time.

One, two, either or.

No particular order.

I don't play favorites.

Yeah, right.

I'm with my favorite children. But, yeah, there was some talk on the plane about Billy versus Hank.
We'll address that later. Again, just from me.
Kansas City Chiefs minus five. Titans coming off a letdown spot.
Chiefs looking good. Looked good in the second half last week.
I think people, this is where they start to turn the tide and start to reenter that conversation of the Chiefs are back.

I actually agree with that pick. I like it, too, for the exact same reasons.
That felt like an emotional victory. How old is Derrick Henry? Twenty six, twenty seven.
I thought for some reason he was a little bit older. He's one of those guys.
You know what? Another one. How old is Cooper Cup? Cooper Cup.
Twenty eight. Twenty eight is right.
For some reason, saw a stat where like cooper cup has better stats than all these unbelievable receivers which that's more modern nfl by their 60th start and i was like cooper cups only had 60 starts feels like he's been around forever i i feel like when there's a white guy who's a receiver in the nfl you hear his name and you're like you it sticks in your head because you're like oh that's that's the white receiver that's out there. So he's just, through sheer mentioning of his name, you feel like he's been around forever.
Yes. Are you worried at all, Hank, about Taylor Luan being on the Bills? No, I'm not.
Okay, so that's your pick, Chiefs. I like that pick.
I do think we're due for, although the Chiefs kind of did it in the second half against Washington football team, but we're due for a Chiefs, like, fuck shit up game. Yeah, clown.
Yeah. We're on clown watch.
Especially off a very emotional win for the Titans. I like it.
We need to find out if A.J. Brown's butt is better yet.
Yes. I haven't heard an update on that.
That's true. Keep me posted on the diarrhea game.
Your favorite. That's probably the best game in the 1 o'clock window.
Actually, maybe Bengals-Ravens, but we'll get to it. Yeah, so I'm going to stay with – we're going to do interim again.
I think that we have to. Rich Basiquia.
I think Basiquia – I'm going to stay betting on the Raiders until proven otherwise. Have to.
I loved what he showed me last week. The guys came out.
They played hard. So, yeah, I'm not going to jump off that yet.
I feel like the Eagles – I'm not impressed with the Eagles so far this year, even in the times that they've played well. I feel like it's always fleeting.
When they put together a good drive that ends in a touchdown, I'm looking for the flag 20, 30 seconds after the touchdown scored because I just can't believe that they're actually scoring touchdowns. I also would like to see a spray chart of Jalen Hurts' passes this year because I think he might lead the league in passes thrown out of bounds.
Just off the top of my head, I feel like he does lead the league in that. What, passes that he throws out of bounds? That end up out of bounds.
Yes, that land out of bounds. Yes, that land out of bounds.
Because he does the thing where he scrambles back into the right and then throws two yards past the sticks. Speaking of which, we have a new stats guy who hit me up.
He will probably do this for us i'm gonna pull it up right now shout out jeff henderson he made uh a chart for us all time um all time sad field goals so it's pretty sad looking at it like in 2005 the uh san francisco 49ers were losing to your washington football team uh they were losing 52 to 7 with four minutes left yeah and they kicked a field goal i remember that game very that uh shantel sprained his ankle in that game had an interception that at that point i was like joe gibbs is back baby yeah the jets were losing to the patriots in 2016 week 16 down 41 nothing in the fourth quarter and they kicked a field goal that's a sad field goal very sad that's a very sad field goal uh either way he hopefully will find us Jalen Hurts throwing out of bounds um Rich Basicki by the way there's multiple phases to the interim head coach I think we have graduated I think we're very close to graduating to phase two which is a distinct we actually are a good team and this guy's like, this is the guy. I think we're close to Mark Davis.
Like, if they win one or two more games, Mark Davis, maybe four-year contract. It's like Taylor Heineke.
Yeah, Taylor Heineke, four-year contract. He's the guy.
Yeah, Rich Pasicki, a named head coach. Then next year, he starts 0-5 and gets fired.
It could be. I think that if he wins three more games his name he'll get an interview because i think interim head coaches are technically a minority status because there's only one of them so that should satisfy the rooney rule correct correct but he'll get an interview at least also italian also italian and yes maybe not pervert yeah well if you're italian that does satisfy without a doubt right right it satisfies the pervert and the italian if you're if you're Italian, but you're not a pervert, then you're a minority of Italians.
Yes, that's true. Then that counts.
That's actually a fact. All right.
My favorite is going to be the Falcons. Falcons minus two and a half.
Now, listen. They're off a bye.
Dolphins have to travel back from England. They're playing right away.
There's a lot of Tua fans out there. They're very, very loud.
All I'm going to ask is, don't you think that the Dolphins might not be sold on Tua if there's this much smoke about Deshaun Watson? Yeah. Don't you think? Well, Tua's an island boy.
He's an island boy. I might have to become an island boy, too, because they're talking about moving him to the football team yeah which i did see your friend jp finley did say that was a hard no but we know that means nothing it means absolutely nothing yeah it's a hard no okay but that can turn into a very hard yes yes or even a harder no which is a yes yes i i think that it's like 50 percent that two ends up now maybe what they're saying is they're not actively pursuing to a if Tua gets offered to them for the right price, they can't turn it down.
What would be the plan for Tua to get benched for Ryan Fitzpatrick again? Yes. Well, I've convinced myself to the point where I now believe in changes of scenery for a quarterback.
I'm like, all Tua needs is a fresh start, change of scenery. And then I started thinking, what are the other quarterbacks that a change of scenery has actually worked for?

And the only ones I'm thinking, Ryan Tannehill, Miami, Miami, right?

Tom Brady.

Great change of scenery.

Now he's a better quarterback than ever.

That's true.

That's a fact.

What's that, Hank?

I said, man.

You just kind of screamed.

And then Matt Stafford, he benefited too.

Jimmy Garoppolo went to a Super Bowl.

That's true.

Yeah.

I mean, there aren't that many change of scenery guys, but.

Brett Favre.

I'm starting to have Brett Favre. Played great with the Jets.
Exactly. So I'm talking myself into him.
Andy Dalton became a nicer guy with the Chicago Bears. Aaron Rodgers next year on the Steelers.
Yep. That's going to be a great change of scenery.
I root for it and I hope for it. I hate left-handed quarterbacks, as we've discussed.
I think the left hand is the devil's arm. But at this point, I'm like, you know what? Fuck it.
We've tried right-handed quarterbacks, and they haven't worked out. That was quick.
Oh, real quick. From Taylor Heineke's the guy to Tua can't be worse.
No, not necessarily Taylor. I'm saying we've tried a lot of right-handed quarterbacks.
I know, I know. That hasn't worked worked out.
We've gone from the career arc of Taylor Heineke, the guy, was a 10-day marriage. You were basically Chris Humphries and Kim Kardashian with Taylor Heineke.
No, what I did with Taylor Heineke, that's a microcosm of every Taylor Heineke game. Right, right.
Where it's like really good, then really, really bad. So I'm just a prisoner of the moment.
What can I say? But you do the same thing no i do too yes but it's funny i mean you you when you when i do it you you pointed out it's funny when you can step back and watch it and you're like wait is that how yeah i do the same thing but it looks dumb yeah it's incredibly dumb oh no i know i do the same thing and it looks very dumb when i do it uh hank your underdog that was li Liam's favorite as well, the Falcons. Okay.
My underdog is, I think I've been doing them all year. I'm going to keep doing it until they win.
I think they're going to win this one outright. The Detroit Lions? The Detroit Lions.
Wow. Plus, are you sprinkling money lines? I'm sprinkling the shit out of the money line.
Heavy sprinkle, heavy pour on the money line. Who's Salt Bay on the money line? Who's it more of a revenge game for? I think Jared.
Absolutely. Yeah.
Although Matt Stafford did have to like, I mean, nine, 10 years with the lions is. It's not really revenge though.
It's more like, it's almost going to make him appreciate LA even more. Yeah.
Whereas Jared's coming for blood. I do think that Sean McVay is, is going to be very intimidated in this game by Dan Campbell.
He's got Sean McVay. Dan Campbell is already living rent free inside of Sean McVay is going to be very intimidated in this game by Dan Campbell.
Sean McVay, Dan Campbell is already living rent-free inside of Sean McVay's head to the point where I would be afraid to bet against the Rams this week because he's going to pull out all the stops. Well, and Dan Campbell very well could get to the game and be like, Jared, is that the guy who hurt you? He'd be like, yep.
And he just goes up and just fucking punches him, punches through his skull. I would love to see that except for not maybe through a skull no through his skull a fist fight through his skull uh all right good underdog jake has that as well jake has that as well we'll

go overall there's the end uh pft okay uh my underdog i actually also have the lions i was

playing devil's advocate but i've got the lions it's right here on my sheet so many points my

entire thing is it's so many points so many a lot. It's a lot of points.
The Lions, they're professional players too. They get paid to play in the National Football League.
They're big boys. It's not like if you look at two mismatched high school teams playing against each other or even in college, you're like getting off the bus, that team's way better.
The Detroit Lions have big guys that play football for them. They got guys too.
I'm counting on the big guys on the Lions being better today than the big guys on the Rams, or at least not 15.5 points worse than them. All right, I'm going to probably regret this one, but I am going to take the Bengals plus 6.5 against the Ravens.
I don't hate it. This is a good game, though, because I'm very excited for this game because it essentially decides, like, if the Ravens do again what they did to the Chargers, to the Bengals, they're like, all right, now it's the AFC.
Like, the AFC, it's the Ravens. You know what I mean? But if the Bengals can keep this close or possibly win this game, they are officially elevated to a good team, playoff team.
And I think they're right there. I think their defense has played very well.
The Bengals are going to be a team that you're going to be shocked to see in the hunt graphic until maybe the very last weekend. So I'm taking the Bengals.
I think the Bengals can keep this close. I don't know about when, but they can keep it close.
Two coaches, when you combine them, have an exactly average size collar. Yes.
Yes, that's true. All right.
Hank, you're over. My over is going to be Sunday Night Football.
Oh, do you know about the weather? Are we doing this again? I'm just asking. I don't.
The answer is no. Jesus Christ.
I'm just trying to be a friend. Oh, you know what? This is going to be another one of those games at San Francisco where Collinsworth does the slide, and it's going to be bright as hell outside.
I hate that. I hate it when Sunday night football starts out when it's daylight.
It's not Sunday afternoon. It's not Sunday boozy brunch football.
Sunday night football. Okay, you might be lucky, though, because it might be dark overcast.
I'm looking at it right now. Let's find it.
10-day weather. By the way, I was dead on in my weather.
You know, you guys haven't given me credit for the wind being a non-factor. No, you were very right about the wind.
I gave you credit. There was a gust.
It was 25.6, so I didn't have to suck your dick. All right, Sunday night, potential for flooding rains, winds southwest 10 to 20 miles an hour, chance of rain 100%.
Rainfall may reach one inch. Flooding rains doesn't sound good.
It doesn't sound good. You can pick whatever you want.
I'm trying to help you. All I know is that I had the visualization when I was made aware of the weather.
Just think for a second of Carson Wentz covered head to toe in mud but that would be that's where he thrives the over is 44 right so it's pretty low right but i'm just saying carson wentz covered in mud he's got the white uniform on like i'm talking about fourth play of the game he's already been sacked he's got like maybe half of he looks like a like a half moon cake where half of his body is just covered in mud i actually think he's going to get a shitload of turf stuck in his face yuck yes that's what's going to happen with it he's and you know what i don't think that his linemen like him enough to come over and pick the turf out of his face mask he's going to have to be doing it by himself yes or like walk over and get the guy that catches the ball for the quarterbacks when they get their arms warmed up that guy's going to have to pick it out all right i'm switching over over 43 panthers giants there we go all right hey can you also officially i don't like what you just did though yeah okay then keep it no no hank was going to ride with a san francisco over yeah and do it can you also uh put a mental note i think i picked the colts in the advisors but i that was when i didn't know there was rain, and I had the visualization of Carson Wentz being completely covered head-to-toe in mud, so please switch that for me. But here's another visualization.
Just on the graphics, just say Niners. Debo Samuel covered in mud means that he's scoring, like, four touchdowns just running through everybody.
That's true. Please, can you just have a graphic that says he switched to the Niners? Stamp it on my forehead? I guess.
Okay, thank you. I made the official switch just now.
All right, we're going to put in that audio. This is going to be crazy if you watch Advisors.
Yeah, it is. Okay, perfect.
We're going to put the audio that you just said into the show. Perfect.
All right, PFT, you're over. So you're over is Carolina, New York.
Yeah. My over is going to be the Washington football team and the Packers.
Every week. Green Bay and the artist formerly known as the Redskins.
Every week we go into this Friday show and I'm so confident. And then I always end up like one in five.
And I'm just like, what went wrong? You talk yourself out of everything. Yeah.
Wait, so this over, over i like it i i love this over i think that both defenses kind of stink the packers defense shows up occasionally but i'm still not a believer in them um and yeah aaron rogers coming off an emotional victory it's true against the bears and i was thinking about it since i'm an owner of the packers i also now kind of own a piece of the bears do you'll, but do the Packers own Aaron Rodgers? They're just leasing him. No, they, okay.
So I have, I have equity in Aaron Rodgers. I have, I have stock in him, but I don't, I don't O word him.
I'm, I'm, I'm banking on some points this weekend. And I have an announcement to make about my Washington football team fandom.
Oh, okay. Yes, please.
So last week I talked to you guys about the Sean Taylor thing, and it pissed me off because what they ended up doing with it is they announced it four days before the jersey retirement. Suss.
Which sounds sus. Very.
It was sus. Here's what sucks.
It's what they've done for every single marketing initiative that they've done this year. Like when they had Breast Cancer Awareness Week earlier in October, they announced it on that Monday or that Tuesday.
Yeah, that's different than Sean Taylor. But my problem is Sean Taylor is not a theme week.
Correct. Sean Taylor is a man who died, who got shot, who meant a lot to Washington football fans.
When you denigrate his memory in the interest of a marketing initiative, you lose me. Yes.
You lose me entirely. So you're done.
So my announcement is I am officially on my last straw with the Washington football team. Last straw.
In fact, I went out. I bought a straw.
I have a straw. How thick? Well, it's a normal size straw.
And I also bought a camel cigarette. So it will be, I don't know if it should be the straw that broke the camel's back.
Yeah. Or I think it's just a straw.
I have a straw. I own a straw now.
And it's my last one with the football team. They must be nervous.
They're very nervous. Because this is.
At the highest levels of the organization. The last straw.
The last straw with the Washington football team. Can they get two straws back? I don't.
Yeah, they can improve their straw quantity. Their holdings.
Yes, yes they can but right now they're literally on their last straw damn if it gets it sounds if anything bad happens yeah to the point where i i lose faith in this organization again what what what hank yeah what else could they do that would be worse than sean i'm bearing my soul to you guys your only good player is dead and they fucked up his retirement ceremony there retirement ceremony. There's nothing else they could do.
Hank, in their defense, the team has been such shit for the last 30 years. We don't exactly have a lot of practice retiring jerseys of good players.
Last straw. Hasn't really been a problem for us.
Last straw. Last straw.
I'm on my last straw. You know what? I am on my last straw.
PFT, am I allowed to join you? Yeah, are you on the last straw, Tim? I'm on the last straw. Hank? I'm on the last straw with the Washington football team.
Wait, do we have to get more straws? Yes, we do. We have to have three straws.
I'm joining you in your fight. We're on our last straws.
I will wait for your word, and I will snap my straw. I'm already out on them until they pick a fucking mascot.
So you're without a straw. Yeah.
All right. That's fine.
I can give you my straw. Yeah, once they get a mascot, I'll straw it up.
Okay. All right.
So we got two straws out of the three of us. I just, I'm angry than I've ever been.
Same. At the Washington football team.
Agreed. Yeah, I am.
Why are you laughing about this? Dude, I'm being a good friend right now. You've won a million Super Bowls in the last four years.
Why are you laughing at me? It's called being a good friend. If BFD's on his last straw, I'm on my last straw.
Now you just can't leave, Washington football team, because you got both of us mad. I'm actually starting to think that Hank likes the fact that we're on our last straw.
No, you just keep getting cheated on. You're like, well.
Yeah, no, it'll be fine. It's okay.
They just said this time it will be different. They just got to work.
They got a long work retreat. I probably wasn't doing a good enough job as a fan to make them be loyal to me.
You know what? I got to lose 10 pounds, and then they'll love me back. Okay.
So, yeah, I'm taking the over. Okay.
All right. My over, I'm going to go with Bears, Bucs.
I have every week is the same for me where Monday I'm down in the dumps, And then by the end of the week, I'm going to go with Bears, Bucs. Every week is the same for me where Monday I'm down in the dumps and then by the end of the week I start talking to myself and figuring out ways the Bears could possibly win this game.
Now, I don't think they're going to win this game, but I have told myself the Bucs secondary sucks. This will be Justin Fields' coming out party.
Now, can they stop the Bucs? I do not know, but the over. So what is it? 47.
Boom. I'm on the opposite side of that okay you're on the under yeah i just think like mag naggy is he's got the bucks number uh yeah that's true he does yeah so i think strubisky had his best game six touchdowns against the bucks we beat the bucks last year when it was what 65 degrees exactly yep we own the bucks yeah so i i think that they're gonna they're gonna frustrate tom okay there's the bucks are still gonna win but he's gonna be frustrated after the game but if justin feels gonna have a coming out party maybe coming out party okay um you're under that is my under thanks for coming out perfect perfect so you guys both have that under yeah all right um my under is going to be i'll do the patriots jets minus underets minus under 42.5.
It's probably a safe bet. I mean, I don't know.
I think Zach Wilson – I think the Patriots are going to be like if they could play the Jets every week, it would be great. I'm worried.
They're going to make Zach Wilson look bad again. I'm concerned.
You are? Yeah. So the good news for you, Hank, is I think that Belichick went into this season making a very obvious decision that this year is a development year.
And so the way that he's coaching right now, I saw a stat the other day, I don't have it in front of me, but he is basically the most conservative coach in the NFL when it comes to fourth down, when it comes to punting, when it comes to deciding what place to call on third down. Throwing the ball.
Throwing the ball. Yeah, he is the most conservative of all the coaches.
So that tells me that Belichick, obviously he's got enough cred in the organization where he won't be on the hot seat this year where he can have these developmental years with Mac Jones. What? That's good.
He's right. He's making sense.
I'm making sense where he's going to have like – I haven't thought about it like that. He's going to have like at least two or three years to bring him along.
But he's like – he's swung so far in the opposite direction.

Are you guys going to bet the under in the box Bears game?

Yeah.

I don't want to be on the opposite of that.

I'm going to switch my over.

I'm going to do 49ers Colts over 44.

Fuck you.

Okay.

Okay.

I'll stay with the Bears.

All right.

The picks from the other guys.

So let's see. jake has the packers as his favorite detroit too many points he has the over in the bucks bears with me and he has atlanta miami under 47 and a half liam has falcons as his favorite giants is his underdog bengals ravens over chiefs titans under now liam I don't know if this is maybe a colorblindness thing, but he has the Chiefs Titans under 47.
So I'm going to give him the 57. But that's a ballsy play by him.
He took the alternate line. He took the alternate line.
And then Billy has the Bucs minus 12 and a half. He's marking that as a win.
The Jets plus 7. He's marking that as a loss.
The Titans Chiefs over 57. He's marking that as a win.
And the Bengals Ravens under 46. He's marking that as a loss.
He did go 2-2 last week. He did.
So that's the Billy method. I'm looking at the Chiefs Titans.
Those are two teams that can put up points. Yes.
And then you look at 57. That's a lot of points.
And Liam was like, I like it at 47. Yeah.
That's how much he likes it. I mean, Billy's kind of a sharp.
Let's be honest. Yeah.
If Liam, if that game goes under 47, I will personally give Liam something. Nice.
I'll give him a back rub. Yeah.
No, I'll buy him something. I'll buy him some shoes.
Shoes that he wants. Any shoes that he wants to a certain price if that game goes under $47.
All right. Should we do Island Boys? Fantasy Island Boys.
Do we need to have a disclaimer that this is a – We're mocking Chet Hanks and the Island Boys. We're doing an impression of the Island Boys.
Yeah, what are the Island Boys? Maybe there's people who aren't on the internet that know what. Why don't you explain it? I actually – Because I don't really know.
They're two brothers. There's a viral video of these two kids.
The Island Boys. They have like Kodak black hair, like the crazy braids.
Bart Simpson. Bart Simpson.
They're two white kids. And they're singing a freestyle about them being the Island Boys.
Big Cat has been quite literally singing it. It's been in entire week for four days i'ma just island boys

with a flora boys we got a vest on so uh yeah this is a and also a little chet hanks i'm my i'm drawing inspiration from chet i always draw inspiration all right hank ready my name is ganja guatemala oh is an island boy Drop, drop.

My stone is foliage.

It's that time of year unless you're on an island island boy my system is hunting whales we are island boys we should let the whales live Nice boy Right by the beach My sleeper is Jock Peterson Oh NLCS MVP Congrats on going to the World Series Yeah br. Blooper.
You're a fat fuck. Boy, boy, boy.
What up, bro? This blue tank, Hex. Fantasy Island, boy.
I'm starting rugby. Rugby.
Oh, you're talking like the beast now, boy. Going to FedEx in FedEx, Maryland.
This is going to get us canceled. Hank, you got to put some banging ass music.
Yeah, you got to really spice this up, boy. I'm sitting NBA.
I'm sitting NBA clunk dune. He goes, did you see Stephen A.
Smith's tweet? Stephen A. Smith.
He tweeted out, get ready for NBA clunk dune. C-L-U-N-T-D-I-W-N.
Which sounds a lot like just a guy from Philadelphia saying, count that clink dune. My sleeper is Kawhi.
Kawhi! Kawhi is an island. Island.
Island boy. Island boy.
Kawhi's got an album coming out at midnight tonight. So shout out Kawhi.
I'm sure it'll be. Just big fire.
Pouring his heart and soul into it. Big fire.
All right. What's up, boys? It's Champ Bailey.
We're in Denver Island. My stardom is Justin Fields.
He's an island boy down in Florida. Lord, I'm horrible.
He's going to have a coming out party. My stardom is tattoos because I saw the island.
And now I don't want a tattoo anymore. It wasn't me.
And my sleeper, Brian Laundrie, you fucking bitch. You are sleeping in the swamp, bitch.
Bruh, bruh, bruh. All right.
They're going to murder. That one's...
That's a one and done. You're going to have to really boost that one.
We're going to need some post-production. No clips of that one coming.
No social clips of that one. We tried and we failed.
But we can say that. I thought it was a good attempt.
It was a valiant attempt. Listen, you got to take shots in comedy.
You can't play it safe. That's right.
Was that comedy? Yeah. It's comedy in the same way that when people get up on stage and say things that the audience agrees with and they clap, that's comedy uh by the way brian laundry they did confirm that was his uh teeth so fuck you dead bitch fuck you brian yeah uh dog probably caught him so yeah i mean dog smoked him out also i'm really excited for the rest of the internet to spend the next three years saying that uh i already saw in the under the fbi saying they found the dental records of brian laundry people being like that's bullshit well how could he have decomposed uh already in four weeks in the swamp um well pretty easily and people saying that he's still alive somewhere he he just pulled his teeth out through him in the swamp and now he's in mexico they probably figured out ways to check beyond just like yeah i'd say so but i i'm kind of on board with the brian laundry still alive and living in argentina yeah that's gonna be there's gonna be a sect of the internet that is just gonna go chase that for the next five years so good luck yeah eventually we're gonna have brian laundry's coming back from the dead and he's gonna be named vice president nobody out there i'm telling you right now do not under any circumstances go as brian laundry for halloween do not.
I don't think anyone needs that disclaimer. There are some people thinking about it right now.
No, he's a fucking scumbag. He's dead.
Rotten hell. All right, let's get to our interview with Bill Burr, and then we got The Beast coming up right after, and then we got Fyre Fest.
We're going to address something that another podcast said about us. We're going to get right back to the show.
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Excludes Alaska and Hawaii. All right, back to part of my take.
Okay, we now welcome on one of our favorite recurring guests. It is Bill Burr.
He has just announced he's back. He's officially back.
He's touring. It's actually Bill Burr parentheses slight return.
So it's a slight return. Is that a Jimi Hendrix thing? Slash how we might be in quarantine by the time these stupid dates come out.
So I'm saying I'm back, but who the hell knows? Got it. You're setting it.
You're setting the parameters here that you're returning. It's a slight return.
It's 23 cities. What I'm doing is hedging my bets.
I'm blaming my offensive line before the game even starts. Yeah.
It's not to make excuses, but here's an excuse just in case. Yes.
That's perfect. So go buy tickets now.
They're on sale. 23 different cities.
I was looking at the list of places you're going and I noticed one. I circled one.
You're going to Saratoga while obviously the races are going on in August. Have you been to the track in Saratoga? No, I've been to the Kentucky Derby.
So I haven't gone to that one. So so i gotta figure that out because uh the kentucky derby you know well that was a good time yeah that way that was a good time yes saratoga is a great great town especially when the horse racing is going on so you definitely have to do that but um it's good that you're back it feels like this is the start of you know normal coming back bill burr's back on the road i mean i, I hope so.
We'll see what happens. It seems like I think we're just going to live with COVID.
I've given up on everybody jumping on one side or the other. We now have, like, I don't know how many 24-hour news networks to drive everybody in different directions.
We got podcasts. We got, I don't know, town criers.
Everybody's got a voice now. So divided locker room.
It's COVID hangs. That's my prediction, and I think we're just going to work around it.
I feel like everybody has kind of chosen their lane by this point, and they're just getting further and further entrenched. I don't think anybody's getting more moderate as this goes on.
No, the internet has become like a bunch of townie bars, and you're okay as long as you agree with everybody in that bar. And if you don't, they all look at you and they try to drive you out.
It's really a low point. Yeah.
A low point, and I think the internet should be shut down or at least monitored. You've got to somehow.
Like I've been doing this bit about incels. You know, a bunch of people who don't know how to talk to women talk to a bunch of other people who don't know how to talk to women.
And in the end, they're all blaming women. Rather than somebody just coming in there and being like, dude, you guys, you're just in a slump.
Yeah. Shoot your shot.
Yeah. Shoot a shot.
Go after, go after something with a limp, anything. Get yourself out of the slump.
There's no reason to get this angry and ruin everybody's lives. But you get a bunch of morons.
And next thing you know, they're all talking. They think the world is flat, which was not even a debate for the first 48 years of my life.
And now there's like people with driver's licenses and they vote and stuff. And they're absolutely convinced that it's a giant cereal bowl with an ice ball around it.
They use technology every day, GPS, that proves that the world is not flat. But then they're, you know, everyone likes to think that they know something more than somebody else.
You know, everyone likes to think that they're in on something that all these other sheep out there don't even know about. Billy is actually a number one target of the incel community.
Our former intern here, he's terrified that they're going to kill him because he thinks he gets laid so much that the incels are jealous of him. Oh yeah, they'll start saying he's getting all the pussy they should be getting.
He's taking too much. Yeah i thought nice guys yeah i thought nice guys had a chance it is funny because it is the the entire internet uh exists uh where basically everyone starts liking something then they talk to each other so much about it they end up hating the thing they like and similar to like the incels being like we hate women which is is crazy just go and talk one, and I'm sure it will be okay.
They have books on how to talk to women. You should read those before you sit around and talk to somebody else.
It's like, I'm hitting 190. How do I stay in the MLB? I'm hitting 192.
Let's exchange notes. Yeah.
My favorite new town bar, if we're using that analogy for the internet, is now whenever there is someone who passes away, there immediately is, did he have his vaccine? Did he have COVID? Was it a good death or a bad death? We need to categorize it. It's not this person died.
It's sad. It's, well, how can I make this death part of my entire data points here? Yeah, I think your brand is what the word you're looking for.
How can I brand this person's death that I have no emotional connection with to increase my followers so I can become an influencer? And the best one is if you look, whenever it's sad when people die, people die. People have been dying since the beginning of time.
But the first reply is always, RIP, just a quick question. Were they vaccinated? That's like instantly right after their death.
Yeah. I'm going to respect you during this time.
Well, now I'm not going to and ask you how did they die? Yes. Yes.
I clearly said RIP, so that, you know, the follow-up question is allowed. Are they going to qualify? Well, you know, I look at it this way.
I thought AIDS was going to take us out, considering once it got into the heterosexual community, then it was kind of everywhere, and it was like, all right, you get this through having sex. People aren't going to stop having sex.
We're finished, and they were able to get in front of that so thank god for the egghead doctors out there and chemist whatever you call them the researchers with the microscopes um that did stuff beyond looking at ants like i did underneath them you know who actually know what they're doing because i think they'll figure it out eventually but i don't see any time soon and i gotta be honest with you i don't, I don't give a shit anymore. Yeah, I'm kind of with you.
I'm like, it's gotten to a point where I just can't be bothered to care about this stuff anymore, where it's like, okay, this has gone on for long enough. I'm just going to try to live my life and do things that I want to do and try to do them safely.
Have you noticed that people that are coming out to your shows now are like, they've got like pent up laughter that they're waiting to let out are they laughing at even the bad jokes that you're telling no because a lot of the states that i have been going to lately i don't think ever fully embraced that there was covid i mean so but i mean i i think people just like uh it seems to be if you mask up and you you're vaccinated you max up you're gonna be all right you right. You know, it seems to be, I mean, I've been out there with no mask on in front of all of these people.
And, you know, I'm more than six feet apart, so I've been all right. I don't know, but I just know that, you know, they're trying to come up with solutions and no matter what solution they come up with, there's going to be a whole other group of people going like, no, actually there's a microchip in that.
And this, that, and the other thing. And it's just like, it's just, I actually think that there's a lot of people out there.
They're not necessarily just dumb. I just think that they had control of their life.
You know, those people where they're sort of like the, the, the, the big fish there and everyone, then you got all these other fish swimming around them and they sort of call the shots they're like the elvis of their little world right and everybody else is in their entourage i feel like this thing fucked with their sense of control so their way to get their control back is to rebel against it yeah and uh there was this one person i can't give too much detail or my wife will kill me. But I branded this person an egomaniac like six years ago.
And my wife, of course, just thought Bill being a jerk again. And when this stuff first hit, God, how do I tell this story? Let's just say we were going in for an appointment and they were saying, just to let you know, this person is not wearing a mask.
And we were like at the office and they were like, no, not at all. And I was like, I fucking told you.
I told you that person was way too old to have a purple streak in their hair. It's like you're in your 50s.
What are you rebelling against, 60-year-olds? You are the establishment. I just, I'm telling you.
I'm telling you. It was one of the greatest moments in COVID for me was when I proved that person was a fucking egomaniac.
Those are the best, though. The takes that aren't even said out loud on a platform, and you know, like, the private takes, like, I knew that guy sucked sucked and you might only tell it to your wife or like a couple close friends but and you can't get the satisfaction of everyone being like oh you were right but that private satisfaction is incredible dude i was in the waiting room and the person said i was texting on silence said you can't text in here just had to have undivided attention on it was just i was just like my god i mean i've seen people with their own sitcoms act nicer than you the um the being over it though uh it's it's i think we're all the three of us are pretty similar in the fact that uh we have the wherewithal to realize part of the reason why we're over it is like the old bread and circus in like roman times like if you give us sports back and you let us go to dinner every now and then we can pretty much deal with anything like we're cool we're cool i'll wear a mask i don't give a shit yeah i i don't i i don't care it's take the back don't take it i don't give a shit anymore you win.
Yeah, and it's funny being like part of like the feeble-minded, but having the wherewithal to be like, oh, yeah, I am that guy, where it's like just let me watch 14 hours of NFL on Sunday, and you won't hear many complaints out of me. Exactly.
Well, that was my thing. Some woman got mad at me because I was making fun that they were bringing that pink stuff back in the NFL.
And, of, she's just acting like I don't care about people with cancer and like I've never had people die. Friends die.
My thing is like that is my four quarters to get away from 24 hour news networks, tragedy and all of this shit. And over the years, they've they've just turned after they've just sort of so inundated you with depressing shit on 24-hour news networks people stopped watching it i think more people watching sports so now that shit is like leaking in to like sports where it's like you know 108 107 by the way this person lost a leg yeah tragedy it's just like can i just have then I was thinking about this.
I was curious to get your take on how the NFL has been going this year in terms of the roughing the passer penalties. Because I know that you are obviously a big safety first guy.
And, you know, you want to see all the players get out there and maybe not even hit each other hard. So I was curious to know what you thought about if you saw the Kyler Murray roughing the passer last week, if you've been paying attention to any of that.
No, I mean, that's been going on since Brady and Peyton Manning way back in the day. Once they made so many rules, I feel like what happened with all four sports was they reached maximum density sports fans.

So then in order to get casual fans, scoring is what gets them. It's like soccer.
If the games are like nine to eight, America would be watching. Yes.
And then maybe eventually get into the beauty of the game and understand it. But the first thing that's going to get you there is the long ball.
So I think once they made all those rules where every year, you know, some fucking, you know, half-ass QB is threatening Dan Marino's 1984 season, it seems every year. They became the superstars.
And I think their ratings went down when quarterbacks got hurt and people didn't want to watch the game. So they just started protecting them more so than they ever did.
And I don't know. I mean, it's hard to bitch about it when you see these guys that you love growing up and they're having problems, cognitive issues and all that.
And the NFL is allegedly fucking with their pay. They won't even give them the piddly sum that they said they were going to.
So I get it on the long run. But as far as like, you know, being a football fan, I think it's, you know, it's not as fun as it used to be.
Well, and I think in a cynical sense, the protecting of the quarterbacks is like a strategy by the NFL. And this might not actually be what they're trying to do.
But I think it's what's happening in the long-term range is, like, when you talk about cognitive issues, CTE, the NFL dealing with all that stuff, the biggest, like, crisis the NFL would have in the future is a big-time quarterback that is, like, the face of a franchise because we feel like we know the quarterbacks more than we know an offensive lineman or a defensive lineman. So, like, Manning was like having trouble cognitively I think that would be another crisis for the NFL so whether they're doing it on purpose to protect the quarterbacks that way or not I don't know but there could be like a cynical view of it it's like they know the one guy yeah the one guy always chooses money yeah it's been about the money.
If they actually cared about the players, they would have addressed this issue decades ago. You know, it's a corporation.
Yeah. They're going to pour shit in the water supply.
Oh, wait, hang on a second. I got to get rid of this.
End and accept decline. That's the button.
Jesus. the uh yeah the it's uh it's i mean it's great to have football back with fans it's all of it is awesome if we want to do the um random text i get from bill burr last time we brought you uh cornerback celebrating this time i got a random text from bill i think it was like two weeks ago, and he just said, am I to believe Kentucky has a solid football team? It was completely out of the blue.
There's no conversation going on. One Saturday afternoon, Bill just texted me that.
I was like, yeah, they actually are very, very solid. I think solid is the perfect word to use for it.
Yeah. They're not great.
You're great go-to guy with a few obscure things it's like you know each sports fan yeah like I'm like who do I think is going to give me either the right answer or who do I think you know if I just want someone to agree with me I have like different people that I text and like you like you know you moved up the draft on the draft day. You moved up when you stormed out of Michigan, the big house.
Yeah, chicken shit football. Chicken shit football.
Repeating that over and over again when Wisconsin was losing to them. I just, the image of that was so funny to me.
And then just the passion. That you left the big house having a good time, having drinks.
Could not sit there and stomach watching your own team lose, despite the money that you spent there, you know what I mean? It was punting from Michigan's 40-yard line. That's chicken shit football.
I'm not going to invest any more time in it. We actually talked about it on Monday's show.
I don't know if you saw the Lions and Bengals game, but we were talking about the sad field goal. There's nothing worse in sports than when your team does a sad field goal.
The Lions were down 27-0 with eight minutes left in the fourth quarter, and they kicked a field goal. And it's just the most defeating thing that can possibly happen.
They cut it to a 24-point game, and you're just like, okay, this is – Well, they didn't get shut out. They got enough goose eggs on the board with them.
I don't know. I'm not of that Madden football where, like, you know, everybody's like, go for it, go for it.
Like, the way football coaches call games now is the way us drunks used to be yelling, making the same decisions in the upper deck. Like, go for it, fake punt.
But what's funny is you're finding that it's not not as risky as everybody thought i think nowadays with how the field is just so much more opened up but like if it was like fourth and two the whole time i was growing up nobody ever went yeah nobody ever was like that was like a mile for some reason but now you know i don't know the west coast offense spread offense i'm not good with that stuff whatever there's like whatever. There's like one running back or no running back.
I think he can get two yards at that level, it seems. It takes coaches probably two generations to catch up to what math says about any given subject.
So once people started to get smart about the numbers, it took some of the younger guys to get into the NFL as assistants, maybe just like offensive analysts and start having them work their way up the chain until they got actually to a position of influence where they could tell the coach like, hey, you're actually 50% more likely to win the game if you don't punt on fourth and one from the 40 yard line. You know, it's like stuff that you I think people learn by playing video games.
honestly no absolutely Lane Kiffin coaches like someone plays mad where it's like anything anything

that's not fourth in, like, 15, he's like, fuck it, I'm going for it. Yeah, and coaches are also, the big thing is they were just afraid of getting fired.
Like, if you go for it. But doesn't Lane Kiffin get a new job every, like, two, three years? Yeah, that's also like playing Madden, right, where you just keep changing teams.
Coaches don't get unless they call the commissioner a pussy in which case like that's the that's the one thing that you can't do but if you're if you're a college coach and you're going for it it's tough to punish a guy for being too aggressive because we've learned that if you're being too aggressive it just means that you want to win right well i think there's there's some happy medium between the analytics and then also actually coaching and knowing your team. Because analytics and numbers is also why the Seahawks lost to the Patriots.
Because that play the whole year, the worst it was, was an incomplete. And at some other high percentage, it was a touchdown.
Except on that play that lost in the Super Bowl and it was an interception. So, I mean, what wasn't in the analytics was Bill Belichick knowing about that play and having everybody practice it.
So, I don't know. Sometimes analytics makes sense.
Sometimes it doesn't. But I love stats and stuff.
And I don't know. And there's something funny to me that, like, mathletes can figure out how to coach a game better than, like, you know, some, you know, square-jawed football guy.
Speaking of which, Ed Ogeron. Yeah.
I mean, is the guy supposed to fucking recruit a Joe Burrow every other year? He was just too horny. He got fired for being horny.
Here's my – so I've had a couple days to process it because we love Coach O. We've had him on the show a bunch.
We interviewed him. It was one of the best moments of our lives right after the national championship that you were at.
We got to interview Joe Burrow and Coach O. The next morning we were still blackout drunk interviewing them.
Great, great guy. I think he's beloved.
He will be beloved when we have a little perspective. I do think the LSU fan base wanted him out this year because LSU is one of those schools.
There's like probably three or four schools in the entire country where if you have two bad seasons in a row, they want you gone. And like that's just SEC football.
That's just what the culture is where it's like you can't – they can't stomach those two bad seasons because you're just supposed to win all the time at LSU. But I just – I respect the coach.
Oh, he also snicks save and puts a lot of pressure on everybody in that conference. Yeah.
But he reached the pinnacle and he had it, you know, he lived, he, he should be remembered for having one of the best college football teams of all time, putting it all together, hiring Joe Brady when he was kind of an unknown getting Joe burrow 15 and Oh, and then maybe enjoying it for a couple of do think that what big cat's saying about Nick Saban compared to coach Joe in a way is actually very correct it's like Nick Saban is a psychopath right he is a fucking weird guy to be this driven after all these years he doesn't even like winning he just he just loves the fact that he's not currently losing he's he's a total psycho great football, probably the best of all time in college football. But as a human being, he's fucking nuts.
What the hell is his name? Your house steak guy, I always forget his name. Urban Meyer.
Urban Meyer. The guy was almost about to do a face plant into his penny loafers.
I mean, he looked like the guy when the stripper's leading him to the ATM just cleaning out his pockets. The guy, where was his buddies? Yeah.
Then what I love is the woman who knows he's married and coming up and backing her ass up onto his dick. She gets no shit at all.
She got a little. They're protected like NFL quarterbacks.
Yeah. I mean, that whole story was fucking insane.
But I just think the Coach O thing. What about the rat that filmed it? Yeah, I know.
I mean, wouldn't you, if I was in the ball and bar, I'd be like, oh man, he's getting after it tonight. You hate to see it.
You hate to see it. You just laugh and go on like, you know, the guy's in a drunken stupor.
I mean, that's how you're going to judge the in that moment after, I don't know how many Moscow mules the guy had. Well, maybe it's a Michigan fan that filmed it.
Face down in the peanuts. Yeah.
Yeah. Celebrating 0-5.
But the thing with Coach O. How come that chick isn't a predator when he got that hammered and all of a sudden she sees her moment? Yeah.
And he's, I mean, he kept his hands to himself, sort of. But Coach O, one last thing.
And so his career, if you look at it, he's I mean he he kept his hands to himself sort of um but coach oh one last thing so his career if you look at it he is like the he's the people's champ because every time he's had like a a big moment a peak he's then fallen back down so it's a roller coaster you know he got hired at Ole Miss it was a big deal and then things I just hate when somebody recruits the guy that then wins you a championship, these asshole sports fans act like that.

That doesn't count because it only happened once. Yeah.
It's like John Gruden. John Gruden, he was an overrated coach.
It's like he's got a Super Bowl win. And they're like, oh, that was Tony Dungy's team.
It's like, first of all, he coached Tampa Bay to a Super Bowl. Tony Dungy did not.
He also fucking coached in that game against his old team, the Oakland Raiders. That was so good.
Even when he wasn't there, they still got there. So I think that's a watch.
And Tony Dungy got a ring with the Colts after their owner was sit on the competition committee, made how the Patriots covered their receivers illegal. And then they stole our fucking offense.
I would say that John Gruden is overrated. He's an average football coach compared to other football coaches.
He took over the Raiders twice when they were laying in the gutter. That's going to affect your win percentage.
Have you looked at his season by season? He had 14 full seasons in the NFL. I can't because of the glare of his Super Bowl ring.

You fucking nitpicking cunts.

No, I'm not nitpicking.

The whole purpose of being a coach in the NFL

is to take a team to the Super Bowl.

He did it, and he gets no fucking crap.

I'm not saying he's one of the greatest of all time,

but to say that the guy was like average.

Listen, that guy, when the Raiders,

when he coaches the Raiders, the Raider fans show up, they make money, and they become a competitive team. I mean, the guy, he's got a $100 million contract.
You're over 10 years. That's $10 million a year.
That's chicken shit. That's chicken shit money.
Chicken shit money in the NFL. I wouldn't say, but he's not a great coach.
I think he's a coach that won a Super Bowl. Whoever said he was a great coach, everyone just looked like it.
All right, we agree. People looked like he was making $100 million a year.
Yeah, no, we agree. But he wasn't overrated.
$10 million a year for John Gruden is a fair fucking price. We agree that he wasn't a great, great, because that's the other thing.
The one piece of advice I'd give anyone in life is to have incredible success early, because then you can kind of ride on that for a very long time. Oh, you're being a cunt.
listen if the only way you say that he's not a great coach is you have to compare him to the greatest of all time but if you just talk about coaching we've all coached little league or pop warner this guy made it all the way to a super bowl in that job and won one wait so you're doing the opposite you're saying like john gruden if you put him it out if you put him up against Pop Warner coaches, he's a great coach. No, I'm saying that's like you did an HBO special and you crushed it, but you only did one.
And then people act like you didn't kill on your HBO special. Right.
So that's fair. I would submit like John Gruden is a better football coach than 99.9% of people who were ever born in the world.
But compared to other NFL coaches, I'd say he's like... Vince Lombardi, Top Hall Brown, Bill Belichick.
Yeah, everybody's going to crumble. Yeah, especially the longer your career gets in the NFL.
It actually is tough to have a long career hovering around 500. Yeah, you get to say Nick Saban's one of the greatest coaches of all time, but at the pro level, he got his ass kicked with the Dolphins.
But does that mean he's a bad coach? Was it a bad franchise? I mean, look, if you coach the fucking Lions, I mean, that's a family-owned franchise. And the first guy who bought it was a rabid football fan, and they won like three with Bobby Lane.
And then ever since then, you know, it's the kids get it. And what are they going to say, no to inheriting a billion-dollar corporation? Yeah, no, I actually think Jim Caldwell is maybe the greatest coach of all time if you put it into real perspective because he took the Lions to the playoffs.
That's what I would say with Baker Mayfield. They're already jumping off his thing.
He brought the Browns to the playoffs. Yeah, no, I know.
They won a playoff game. The Baker thing, it's really hard in today's NFL because I think we frame everything around

if you don't have Patrick Mahomes, Aaron Rodgers, Tom Brady, or Russell Wilson and Lamar Jackson,

you don't have anyone.

Josh Allen, throw them in there.

But Baker Mayfield, I think...

I think it's more just a 24-hour news cycle.

Every week, they've got to be like about, you know, Russell Westbrook? You know? Is he not good anymore? He has like one bad game. Did we jump the gun on this other Hall of Famer? It's just to get people like me standing in their underwears.
They're brushing their teeth, yelling from the other room at the TV. He's screaming at Stephen A.
Smith from the other room. People tried it with Patrick Mahomes.
They started to dip their toe in the water with it. They're like, is Patrick Mahomes bad now? With Lamar Jackson, it's already like we already got the is Lamar Jackson the greatest quarterback of all time, which was quickly followed by has the league figured out Lamar Jackson? And now we're back into, has Lamar Jackson figured out the league again? Has he matured? Yeah.
An older, wiser Lamar Jackson in his third season. I mean, that guy's lived like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like Falcon Crest back in the day.
Somebody's dead and then they come back from the dead. I thought you died in a plane crash.
No, I'm back. I married your sister.
All right, I got to get going here because I got some – I got a thing I got to do here in about 28 minutes, and it's about a 20-minute drive. Okay, so tell us last thing with your tour.
So your ticket's on sale now, 23 cities? Something like that, yeah, 23 cities, a bunch of cool venues and stuff and uh i don't know i got a whole new hour you know it's cool i already did it i did a gig at red rocks in boulder colorado and i filmed it so i think i already got my special which i've never done a tour where i already had my special so i get to just have you know i already got an hour and a half that works and now i get to sort of like build the new one as this tour ends. So I'm thinking right as this tour ends, maybe my next special comes out, and I already have another hour.
I'm ahead of the game because of this COVID. Just a quick idea, and I know you've got to go, but have you ever thought about putting together now, not to out ourselves as maybe horny guys, but have you ever – This feels like an industry.
No, no, we're not horny guys. We're not horny guys.
Have you ever watched a... I'm not horny.
Have you ever maybe come across a compilation online where it's a compilation of the finishing acts of a porn scene? Maybe you should do that where it's like you just telling... You hitting the punchline over and over and over at every stop and all the laughs.
And it's a laugh... And then like uh one of those porn sites yeah you pour yeah just like bill burr watch bill burr make everyone burst comedy compilation yeah you you should actually think about getting in like branching outside of porn yeah i feel like they've kind of become siloed where it's just i i can't go to you porn and get all my viewing experiences yeah you just nail just nail the joke.
It's the last line. I think it would be something hilarious watching an hour of a guy saying punchlines and listening to people lose it and you have no idea what they're laughing about.
Yes, it's just the good part. It's just the good part.
Me and my friends, my knucklehead friends I used to drink with in high school, we used to watch Jeopardy the same way. We'd hear the question, we'd be looking at you like we had no idea,

and then some egghead would answer it. We would just laugh

at how stupid we were.

I think there might be something there.

Something to leave you with, but Bill, thanks as always,

man. It's always fun to have you on,

and good luck with the tour. Yeah, I love coming on this show,

man. Anytime you have a fallout.

Yeah, and anytime you're in New York,

you've got to come back in in person.

Or anytime I've got a random text, I'm sending it your way. Perfect.
perfect i love it i'll answer them all all right guys we'll see you thank you see you bill all right bye-bye nashville get ready for one of the biggest parties of the summer in music city barstool nashville is hosting the summer fest block party on friday may 16th and saturday may 17th outside of barstool nashville 2nd Ave South. We're closing down the street and putting up a huge music festival stage for a star-studded lineup of artists, which includes Galantis, Loud Luxury, Young Gravy, Cameron Whitcomb, Josh Roche, Shaylin, Chandler Walters, and Dylan Schneider.
And the two-day event is hosted by me, Brianna Chicken Fry, and out and abouts Joey and Pat. Don't miss one of the biggest parties on the summer.
Doors open at 5 p.m. on May 16th and May 17th 21 and over get your tickets now on barstoolnashville.com okay here he is the beast and now for something completely different okay we now welcome on a very special guest he is the beast one of uh the best rugby players of all time? I'd say all time.
Tende Mataro Raira. I hope I did that right.
I didn't probably. Tende Mataro Raira.
I'm going to have to give you some lists. Okay, but the Beast.
Yeah, Beast. And obviously, I'm not a huge rugby guy.
PFT is a huge rugby guy. So it will be more of his questions.
But I do have to to ask is the beast the coolest nickname of all time

because that's got it like at what point in your life did you get the nickname the beast uh and you're like yeah this fits i'm the beast uh so it's actually a funny story yeah so when i was born in zimbabwe i don't know if you guys are familiar with zimbabwe um we have a guy who we work with who's from Zimbabwe.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, you obviously know.

So I happen to be the heaviest baby ever to be born in Zimbabwe at the time. 1985, I was well over 5 kgs.
So I was a beast at birth. What was the pounds? Jeez, what's 5.5 kgs in pounds? 12.1 pounds.
That's a big baby. That's a big baby.
So I was big. My mom reminds me every second day.
So you were the beast from birth. I was the beast from birth, man.
That's pretty awesome. That is pretty awesome.
So yeah, as Big Cat mentioned, our producer, Zah, who works here, he's from Harare, right? Yeah. And he said that he went to school with you.
Yes, he did. That he actually attended the same school.
Yeah. Were you there when the aliens came? What aliens? Aliens came to the Harare Boys School.
I was not, yeah, I'm not familiar with that episode. Oh, yeah.
No. He's got like, are you an alien? You might be an alien then.
He showed us like there were a bunch of news cameras that came to the school and interviewed them about it. About the aliens.
Oh, geez. Nah.
They came at recess one day in Harare. But you're famous for being a South African rugby player.
You play for South Africa. You won a World Cup there.
At what point did you decide like South Africa was going to be the country that you wanted to represent internationally? I think I made that decision when I was 16 years old because, you know, from that age, I knew I was very talented in the game, you know, of rugby. And there was no league in Zimbabwe to aspire, you know, to play for.
So the closest thing to home was South Africa. So I always watched, you know, South African rugby.
I watched super rugby. I watched the Springboks play.
And I was huge fans of certain guys that actually were born in Zimbabwe but representing South Africa. Bobby Skinstead, you might be familiar with the name.
So I knew that this was the place for me to get to, to realize my dream. So when I was 18 years old, we were invited on a tour to play against a few schools in the Durban area on the East Coast in South Africa.
And it was there where I was scouted by the Sharks. They saw me running around.
They were impressed with my play, with my skill set. They offered me a bursary to come and study and pursue my dream.
So I made that decision, man, and that was like a dream come true, you know, when that offer came. So, yeah, I knew that this is the place for me.
So for people who don't follow rugby, myself included, describe why you are the beast and why you are so well-known. Like, what is your game like that is so much better than everyone else you can be you can put the humbleness aside for a second we're allowing that okay um i think you know what made what makes me the beast or what made me the beast is you know i always showed uh there's feats of strength you know um in the games uh i don't know if you've seen my iconic lift that i did in 2012.
I had a guy that I lifted above my head and I held him. And it was probably 120 kgs.
So that's quite heavy. It was a kickoff at the start of the half, right? And as a prop, sometimes you've got to lift some of your guys above your head to try to catch the ball.
They get up in the air a little bit higher. This guy fell backwards over the beast's head.
The beast just held him up there above his head, probably saved him from a broken neck. Did he buy you a beer after that? Was he like, thank you? Yeah, he definitely did.
He definitely did, yeah. So he was grateful.
And then another thing is obviously my scrummaging prowess. I was very strong in the was very strong in the scrum you know i destroyed a few uh opposition uh in my in my career so that's what kind of gave me you know um you know that that name you know uh it just echoed you know throughout my career and people chanted it every single time when i played so it made it really special you know so yeah man So, yeah, I would say the massive feat of strength.
That's what made me the beast. That's pretty cool to just be like the feats of strength that I showed year over year.
My physicality and the feats of strength made people call me a beast. Yeah, that's pretty intimidating when you say that out loud.
What about in high school or secondary school, whatever you – I don't know what it's called in Zimbabwe.

But as you're growing up, I have to imagine that you were the biggest baby to ever be born in Zimbabwe. You were probably pretty big when you were starting to play junior levels of rugby.
Were the other parents in town concerned to let their children play rugby against you? Yeah. so yeah i remember a specific time in my uh in my high school career uh when uh one of the parents actually asked you know for my birth certificate you know just to yeah see if i was legitimate if i was actually born in the same year uh as their son so it was quite yeah you know it was quite it is something that i just uh embraced that i was just big you know i wasn't yeah i was just naturally gifted i was strong so i had to show show that i was the real age quite a few times it's a compliment really like in in baseball if you if you get accused of cheating when you're a pitcher you should be like thank you thank you for thinking that i'm'm that good, that I must be doing witchcraft on the ball.

So if another parent's like, no, we don't believe that this guy is really the age he says.

It's like, yeah, I am, and I'm just that good.

Yeah.

Yeah, no, it is a compliment.

Yeah, so I just took it in my stride, man, and just owned it.

I just pulled up that video.

That was an incredible highlight.

So, yeah, I get it now.

I get the beast now.

I get that nickname now. It makes sense.
Now i i know you've probably been asked this before uh but did you ever consider professional football in america did you ever think about playing college football or anything like that because clearly your strength and speed like that combination is something that translates to any sport i'd imagine did you ever like did anyone ever reach out and try to get you to maybe giving a try out so yeah something happened uh back in 2010 um uh you guys are familiar with five hour energy yeah yeah so the owner was launching um the the energy drink in south africa so he was looking for brand ambassadors and my name was put forward you know that, that I fit the brand and I met him. And then he asked me, have you ever actually tried to, you know, get into the NFL? So he kind of looked at me and said, you look similar, you got a similar build to Ray Lewis.
You know, you could fit the mold, you could do the transition. So I was like, you know, I never thought about it.
So he actually dropped the seat. I think he was sponsoring the Seawolks at the time.
So he told me that he would actually assist me to get into the combine. So I almost came to the NFL combine.
But the only thing is that if I had done that, I would have probably risked my contract getting torn up in South Africa. So I was established already.
I had a family. I had kids.
So it was just too much of a risk for me. Watching the game, watching American football, do you think you could, at your peak, could have competed? Yep, definitely.
I believe I could have been a great linebacker. Rollback.
Yeah, I think I would have. I love Aaron Gordon.
he's probably my favorite player so yeah I watch a little bit because of this guy right here nice we could we could still arrange a tryout if you want it we've got we've got a couple GMs on speed dial we could reach out to yeah I'm keen let's do it yeah but now you're are you playing for, are you still on the D.C. Glory? No, so I played for All Glory last year.
Then I officially retired from the game. Congratulations.
No, thank you. But the season was cut short, you know.
It was unfortunate because of the pandemic. Yeah.
So I was based in D.C. for about three months.
And it was a fun time. And I was doing a lot of fun things things working with Washington Youth Rugby, trying to promote the sport,

working with kids in the inner city schools.

So it was so rewarding at the end of my career to actually try and help grow the game.

So I was doing some great work in D.C.

What was the level of competition like when you did get to play for the team here in D.C.?

Were you having to take it easy on some of the other guys?

Were you like, man, I could actually kill you on this field right now, so I'm going to slow up? No, I think it was very competitive. It was quite physical.
So I think in my first game, I played against the Seawolves. So it was a shock to my system that, whoa, these guys are really coming out for me.
But I actually respected that. And I think if I to compare it to south african rugby i would say it's probably on the same level as the curry cup you know so it was quite yeah impressive and i think the league is just getting better every year the level of rugby is getting better so you know it's just the injection of the you know the international players coming into the league that's really kind of yeah now uh reading up about you you also like you went to are you currently in the nba program yes okay i'm studying in nba yep and and so like you rugby is at a point where it was your obviously your full-time job when you were at the height of it but i would assume it's not like something that uh you know like an nba NFL player, like the top level guys, they never have to work another day in their life.
So are you, are you going to be working like a regular job, you know, and be like, I was the best at my sport. That always fascinates me.
Like you're going to walk into Deloitte and you'd be like, yeah, I was the beast. I am the beast.
Yeah. So yeah.
Funny you mentioned that so i did the whole transition into my next chapter fortunately whilst i was playing and i always thought about my next chapter yeah i was prepared for it you know so i was invested in a security company i'm big uh the biggest in south africa i became a shareholder whilst i was playing and uh yeah i started learning about the industry so it was a natural progression after I retired to join the business. So currently I'm running a subsidiary CEO.
Okay, so you're the boss. So that makes you feel better.
Yeah, okay, all right. That's a lot better, yeah.
So that's why I had to study the MBA just to get a- Got it. Yeah, you know? I was like worried that you're going to go to, you know, do the MBA and then like start as like a junior analyst.
Like, no, you own the company. All right, all right.
That makes me feel a lot better because you're the beast. That would suck if you're the beast.
Yeah, that would suck, man. That's all right.
Okay, so this was an MBA was kind of an addition to what you already do in business world. Yeah, not exactly.
That was smart, though. Yeah, the transition seems like it's going well then.
It kind of sells itself. If you have an opportunity to hire a security company and you have one that's like, okay, I could either hire the one that's run by The Beast or one that's not run by The Beast, why would you ever take the other company? Yeah.
It's good. It's a fact, yeah.
So I try to leverage my brand as much as I can, you know? Yes, absolutely, absolutely. I got a question about your Twitter.
So you're a crying emoji guy on NBA posts, kind of a Twitter guy. I've noticed that.
So who do you root for? Are you a this league, you just like the storylines? Because I saw there was a meme, Sixers stay with us or go to the moon, and Ben Simmons, the rocket ship, and you just have like six crying emojis. I like that.
Lakers adding Rondo to the same locker room as Westbrook. It's a video.
Crying emojis. I like this.
So who's your favorite player and do you have a team in the NBA? So I am a huge NBA fan. Okay.
So I'm a huge LeBron fan. There's the door.
Exactly. So I've changed my jerseys, obviously.
Three times now, you know, from Cleveland. Yeah, he has no loyalty.
Miami Heat, Lakers. So a lot of guys, you know, they kind of pick on me saying I'm not loyal, but I'm loyal to LeBron.
So I love the Lakers. I've been obviously, you know, following what's going on.
I watch games. It's quite late.
You know, they show like at 3 in the morning in South Africa. But I still watch, you know, so I'm a huge LeBron fan.
I follow the guy like, yeah. What is it that you like about LeBron? I'm just curious.
I think LeBron is the ultimate package. You know, he is a great, you know, athlete.
You know, he's a great human being. You know, he stands for so much that is right, you know, he stands out for the community, and, you know, he's vocal, you know, when it comes to, you know, campaigns like the Black Lives Matter, you know, he always thinks about other people than himself, and obviously he's a great father, you know, he's looking at his kids now, you know, the way he's raising them, you know, he's a great father figure.
So he's a complete package, you know. So that's how I look at him.
And there's obviously longevity, the way, you know, he's been so consistent over the, you know, a long time. He's 37 now.
He's a year older than me. So, you know, I always just aspire to be like him because, you know, he's so consistent.
He's won four rings. He's going to win more.
Yeah, he's lost six times in the finals, too. You just kind of kneecapped me there because I hate LeBron, but then you started talking about him as a person, and I can't really argue about that fact because LeBron does seem like a very good father and obviously good with the community and everything, but I hate him.
Space Jam 2 sucked. Yeah, Space Jam 2 sucked.
Are you defending his acting as well?

Alcoholic, maybe?

Alcoholic?

I haven't watched Space Jam 2, so that's how I'll...

I'll be the judge when I watch it.

You watch Space Jam 2 and you'll be walking in with a Kevin Durant jersey the next day.

Guaranteed.

Never, never, never in a million years.

So is NBA big in South Africa?

Is it grown?

Have you noticed that? Yeah, NBA is growing in a million years. So is NBA big in South Africa? Has it, like, grown? Have you noticed that? It's, you know, yeah, NBA is growing in a big way because I think, you know, there's been actually a massive focus from the NBA to invest.
So I'm actually quite close to a lot of the NBA executives, especially that work in Africa. So I'm sure you're quite, I don't know if you're familiar, there was a new league that was launched this year.
Yes. The BAL.
Yes. Basketball African League.
Joakim Noah was part of that. Yeah, Joakim Noah, J.
Cole was there. So, you know, there's a lot of interest.
There's never been avenues for young kids, you know, to aspire to get opportunities because, you know, there's kids that are actually really talented. You could get a few point guards in South Africa.
Yes, not the tallest guys, but you could get some guys that can dribble the ball, that have got a master skill set and can play. But the only thing is that they don't have an opportunity.
So this league is actually quite huge for the whole of Africa. That's awesome.
So I play a game of pick-up like every second week because I actually play basketball myself. So what's your game like? Rebounds.
Yeah. Yeah.
Do you like Charles Barkley? I'd imagine you could box people out. Do you ever find yourself like semi-tackling people? Yeah.
Because it is funny watching. Whenever you watch basketball, like when you watch pick-up basketball, you can be like, all right, that guy played hockey.
That guy played football. Like that guy played baseball.
I would imagine that guy played rugby is like he's just starting to scrum with everyone in the middle of the court. Yeah, that's a fact, man.
And every time I do a screen, you know, I knock somebody out. Yeah.
I wouldn't want to play with you. I'd want you on my team.
Man, how much do you bench right now? At the moment, 190 kgs.

So 190 times 2.2 pounds.

That sounds like it's heavy.

It sounds like it's over 400 pounds.

198 kgs.

No, close to 400.

So you're still in like, you're keeping in game shape.

What about injuries?

Because I'd imagine there's a million that you had.

Rugby feels like one of those sports that if you ever talked to anyone who played rugby,

they're like, yeah, I broke my neck, I broke my arm, I do this.

Did you have a ton of injuries? Man, I was so fortunate. Really? The worst I had was a broken ankle, you know.
So I just played so much rugby, you know, back-to-back seasons without suffering, you know, a lot of injuries. So I was just very fortunate, man.
I guess credit to my conditioning coach conditioning coach man i had a great coach and jeans i'd say that's a gene also jeans as well also mom and dad you're a beast you're a beast so yeah man i'll claim it i'm a beast yeah so i played a little bit at you know divin uh division one men's level which is nowhere near as good even as like major league rugby in the united states right now. But a lot of the props that I played with, which is your position, they have like, you know, as their career gets longer and longer, they have to get, you know, shoulder issues start to pop up, especially with the props and neck issues.
There are guys that I know that have gotten MRIs that have spent like their entire life playing loose head prop and one side of their body is now bigger and over calcified like their bones are physically bigger on one side because you just spend so much time hitting that side did you have to actually like work to counter train the other side of your body to make sure that you weren't getting like overuse injuries yes and now it was a man like a massive emphasis um you know we it was part of my training regime to make sure that you know whatever whatever i did on on the right right inside i did on the left hand side so i always try to equal you know because you don't want to have that you don't want to have one dominant side so it's important to create that and to get that that balance so i always made sure in my my training you know i did the same thing as you know the other side so it's, yeah. So 198 kilograms, by the way, is 436 pounds.
No big deal. That's a lot.
That's a lot. That's way more than Billy Football can bench.
That's a shitload of weight. No, I can bench a lot.
I'll claim it in the Springbok team. Nobody could bench more than me.
Yeah. Being the strongest guy on a rugby team, like a World Cup winning rugby team, is such a flex.

Well, you have to be if you're the beast.

Yeah.

Like, this is a,

it's like a chicken and egg thing.

You had,

you were born the beast,

but then you had to live up to it

because if you were not benching 436 pounds,

you'd be like,

this guy's not the beast.

Exactly.

Like,

who is he, man?

He's beauty then.

Yeah,

yeah,

yeah,

exactly.

Exactly.

I've,

I've been trying to think of ways to, to bringloading into the nfl and teach players how to like go into contact pass the ball laterally or backwards and extend to play that way because you can get obviously so many more yards off it because you suck the defenders in and you're able to find a guy open in space but it's just it's a skill set that you have to work on for years to be able to do it comfortably right um like especially for a bigger guy going into contact to be able to like position his hands in just the right way to be able to pass the ball securely to his teammate you should actually think about being a consultant to different nfl teams to different coaches and be like i can teach you how to teach this skill properly because i do think that the game of football, at some point, there's going to be a coach that figures out the advantage to doing it, and that coach is going to do some real damage, and then other coaches are going to want to learn how to do it too. Have you talked to anybody? Have you ever spoke with a professional football player in the United States about what they think about offloading the ball?, so I haven't had the chance, but I think it's a great point that you raise there.
I think, you know, I've watched a bit of NFL, you know, and I think that they don't utilize the space, you know, to the best of their ability. You know, I think if you get the offload in, you know, then you get the chance to actually, you know, get the ball to somebody in a better position than you when you get tackled.
So I think there's a lot of space, you know. He's the quarterback, you know, he can see everything and he can throw a dime and, you know, get somebody to catch it and score in the end zone.
but the fact of the matter is that, you know, if you get all the players accustomed to floating the ball, I think it will just do a massive world of good, you know. It would be an unstoppable offense.
The first person to figure out how to do it correctly is going to be unstoppable. Yeah.
Yeah. No, I agree with that.
I would love to help. So, yeah.
So, you guys put me forward, man. Throw my name in the head.

I can help.

All right.

I had one last question.

This might be a weird question, but I would imagine you can drink a few beers.

How many beers does it take for the Beast to get drunk?

I think people actually want to know.

I would imagine if you had two Coors Light, which we love Coors Light, you're not.

It's not like, you know, it's not doing anything.

So, like, after a match, how many beers is, like, an average The Beast, you know, post-match? You're going to laugh at this because I've never been a big drinker. Okay.
That's a totally fine answer. I'm not either.
Yeah. That's totally fine.
So, it's like, yeah, man, I'm a lightweight because when I drank because I was so fit, it would take a few, you know, to get me drunk. So, yeah, man, I was always quite strict with myself, you know.
Never touched alcohol. I would train hard and stay, you know, stay clean.
So now probably I have a few more gin and tonics than normal. So I would say probably 10 gin and tonics would get me over.
Yeah, because I mean, what little I know about rugby is they just go and bash each other and like play this really hard sport and then get drunk after. Yeah, it's a fact, that's the old kind.
Yeah, it still happens, but it's like back in the day, it was, yeah, it was quite excessive, but because of the professionalism, you know, that has been brought into the game, players now

have to only drink

three to four drinks after a game.

Because your coach is literally looking at you.

They're keeping tabs on you.

There's a curfew. You can't go out.

You can't obviously go overboard.

There's a lot of restrictions, so

you can't really do that

much nowadays.

Have you ever gotten into a fight on the pitch?

Like a fist fight?

Yeah.

Who'd you knock out?

What did they do?

Because there's so much violence that happens

in and around the scrum and the rucks.

At what point does it become an issue

where you're like, we're actually going to fight now?

So, yeah, probably the worst fight I had was in a local game in South Africa. We were playing a team called the Cheaters.
And there happened to be a guy who was just, you know, irritating me. You know, he was throwing cheap shorts in the scrum, you know.
And, yeah, I had enough, you know. And the next thing, I just gave him a big smack on the face.
I got, yeah, open slap. Like, yeah, literally a flat one.
That's almost more disrespectful than a close miss. I would rather be knocked out than get slapped in the face.
I would have probably got a red card. So I got a yellow card.
I had to go sit in the sin bin for 10 minutes. But I was proud that I did that.
Yeah, stood up first. Because the guy needed it well it's been awesome man we really appreciate you stopping by um the beast it's good to meet the beast it's not a lot of beasts you get to meet so appreciate it no thank you thank you for having me and yeah it's great to chat to you guys and hopefully you're there the usa uh match next week against All Blacks I think it's going to be big yeah I think we're going to air this next Wednesday yeah right so it's this Saturday is it at is it at FedEx Field yeah it's at FedEx Field Raul John Maryland it's going to be the United States against the New Zealand All Blacks we're going to get killed killed.
How many points is New Zealand going to beat us by? I think USA Rugby has got a chance, man. It's going to be a drill.
It's going to be a drill. They're going to rise up to the occasion.
There you go. All right.
Very diplomatic. All right.
Thank you so much. No, thank you.
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That's getroman.com slash take. All right, let's wrap up.
We got Fire Fest of the Week. Send everyone on their way week seven.
We'll see everyone at Kilroy's in Bloomington, Pup Punk, tomorrow night or tonight. It's going to be a great time.
You know what? I need to find a place that I can get my hands on a pair of Indiana basketball warm-up pants for tomorrow. I can work on that for you.
Can you do that for me? I will work on that for you. I want to wear those on stage tomorrow night.
Yep. I will work on that for you.
Hank, your Fyre Fest of the week. My Fyre Fest is last week I was in Baton Rouge.
And I left my… New Island, boy. Yeah, I am.
I left my headphones in my hotel room, so I have not had headphones this entire week. Oh, that's tough.
And I felt like just an absolute psychopath on the train in the morning. Wait, you didn't get another pair? Not yet.
That is crazy. Didn't Jake say that he has another pair of headphones i i just don't listen i'm not saying airpods but going on the train without headphones is crazy well it's like one of those things i get on and then i forget i have headphones i go to work i'm like i'm gonna get headphones and then i forget and then and now we're here i'll give you head phones i'll walk i'll walk back from the

train if i forgot my headphones i've done that yeah the train was y'all i'll go to put my headphones

in be like oh i forgot them go back home there's nothing worse than being alone on a train with

your own thoughts yeah on especially on your way into work yes or you can be the guy the psycho guy

i don't know who these psychopaths are that just play whatever they're listening to out loud yeah

and just look at their phone the entire time.

Not as crazy as the people who read books.

No, those aren't.

I thought we said people.

Yeah.

Those are crazy.

All right.

I'm sorry, Hank.

Thank you.

I have a pair of wired headphones if you'd like them.

No, sorry.

I am going to get some eventually.

Heard that before.

PFT?

So my fire fest is that I started watching Succession this week and i completely forgot what happened in the last season of succession so then i spent this entire first episode just trying to remind myself of what's going on and why they hate each other and why people are on different sides and i just didn't i didn't know i by the end i made up an entire story in my head that i think is completely wrong. But at the very least, it got me to start paying attention to this episode, filling in the gaps a little bit.
So next Wednesday, we should start doing our succession reviews. Did you watch the first episode, Hank? Yeah.
Okay. I had the same thing because I totally forgot.
And this is a spoiler. If you haven't watched, make sure you don't listen in the next two minutes um but i think a lot of people are watching as they go along it's not an enormous spoiler but there it is spoiler warning i totally forgot that tom and shiv were getting divorced yeah yeah like that was one of those moments where i was like wait oh do they not like each oh yeah they don't like each other way everyone's the divorce island yeah island boy yep in the divorce island.
Yeah. Island boy.
Yep. They went, they took that, they sat on the beach, and he was like, this isn't working.
That was one of those ones. Because let's just be honest here.
You're weak-minded if you go and watch the two-minute recap. Absolutely.
Like, be a man. I invented.
Well, I thought I was going to start with the two-minute recap. Yeah, I know.
That's what I assumed. And at that point, I was and watching, getting myself up to speed.
So I created this story in my head. It probably has nothing to do with the storyline, but at the very least it got me to a point where I can now watch and observe what they're doing.
The only note that we'll save our recap for on Wednesday. Yeah, we'll do one and two.
I just, I had one note. It was Shiv.
Good Lord. Yeah.
Dummy thick. Bonk, bonk, bonk.

Dummy thick.

Bonk, bonk.

We knew that was your dummy.

You didn't even need to watch the first episode to have that.

Thicker than a bowl of oatmeal.

Thicker than a snicker.

Yeah, that will be.

Because I think Jake and Billy are also catching up.

So they're going to watch both seasons and then catch up.

Also, best theme song on television.

Yes.

All right.

My Fire Fest is another podcast. You want to bleep it out the ryan russillo podcast you don't have to bleep it out oh no wait it's dual threat dual dual threat podcast frozen pizza that's a great name for a podcast that was his name for his podcast dual threat with ryan russillo why are they called dual threat uh i don't know i think he's a freak in the streets and the sheets i think yeah it goes audio and visual yeah audio and visual um no we're actually very good friends with ryan rusillo uh oh well maybe not hank anymore so there was a listener life advice email that said uh who would win in a fight rusillo kyle nephew kyle who we've met good good dude um saruti who we've also met uh he's a soccer fan i think i've said enough uh and then me pft and billy uh who would win in a fight and they ryan talked himself into his squad beating our squad okay well first of all nephew kyle is what six five 240 he's a big boy but i i don't have faith in nephew kyle when it comes i i feel like i could submarine him and you have dad strength i do dad strength is a real thing do any of those guys have kids no so we've got dad strength they know of and then we've got war mode on our side have any of them ever stepped into a ring well i actually think that the real fuck up that they had um was hank is the third in this crew not billy i love billy but hank is the producer he's been the producer since day one but billy fought in rough and rowdy yeah hank also fought in rough and rowdy want to know i actually have a different take on it i think russillo holds so much anger in his uh shoulders and neck um from various people online saying, oh, did you vote for Trump because of the taxes that he would probably kick all of our asses? So I don't really waiting to wail on us.
Yeah, he's probably like, fuck you guys. I'll put it this way.
If we if we held our fight at like a local school board meeting, Ryan would break down the door, come inside and start screaming at us until he was either dragged out or he came up on stage and whooped the shit out i have no problem saying that uh i am not tough they did nail one thing about me they said that i'm a yo-yo weight guy which that is absolutely true um and yeah i haven't been in a fist fight in probably 15 years and i don't ever hopefully plan on ever being in a fist fight again um so i have no problem just laying down and showing my belly and being like, hey, my face is too pretty to get punched. I can't say the same for you, Ryan.
I've got a great strategy when it comes to a fist fight because I'm not good at fist fighting. Yeah.
But what I can do to most people is just go after their legs, grab them. We both fall to the ground and then hope to God that somebody comes over and breaks the fight up.
and then i'm like i took that guy down well kyle did say and i think he nailed the part that if it was kyle and i matching up against each other we'd probably just end up in some kind of weird like tasmanian devil rolling around bear hug situation because kyle's a smoker uh i'm not in good shape i think i probably have about 15 seconds seconds. Hank, I think you could kick Saruti's ass, and I like Saruti, but again, soccer fan man bun says enough.
So now I have to go against Ryan. And that's not good for me.
Good luck. That's not good for me.
Why can't I go against a soccer guy? What if you – do you want to go against Rasilo? Yeah, you should. Yeah, Hank should go against Rasilo.
All right, fine. Hank's going against Rasilo, so now we won.
Yeah, now we win the fight. So Kyle and I just roll around, maybe even kiss.
I have all the reach. That actually is what we would do.
If we showed up to the three of them and we faced off and we just kissed all three of them, what would they do then? It would be pretty tough. I would kiss the fuck out of Rosillo.
Pretty tough to make him fight back at that point. I'd kiss Rosillo until he didn't want to fight anymore.
Well, unless it turns into like a Johnny Cake situation and Ryan gets so mad that you kissed him and fulfilled his long-time wish to kiss you. Yes.
Then he punches you. Well, and then we've got motorcycles in New Hampshire.
Then he comes back later and he's like, hey, can I get those Johnny? Sometimes you tell yourself a lie for so long, you forget when to stop. I'm okay, though, with saying Rasilla would beat all of our asses because um just a little life oh life advice uh do you ever fight a guy who uh spends way too much time thinking about who they could beat up that's a good point it's a fair point right i would also say just never fight a guy whose clothes fit really well yeah and ryan's clothes fit really well ryan goes like half sizes because his weight fluctuates too depending on on how strong his gains are that week.
But he'll go to the store and he'll get like a half step up from a medium. Yes.
So yeah, that guy, that's a very dangerous individual. Never fight a guy who won a battle to the death with a squat rack.
Yep. That's another one.
That's true. Like we could do, we go on and on of why we don't want to fight Rusilo.
because you know what he's probably a fucking tough motherfucker i'm saying this with all honesty he would he would cave my skull we're also just very good at cheating so we would figure out a way to bend the rules just not show up to the fight yeah yeah good luck i did that with jose canseco then you have to come to us you think that i am you think that i worry about how i look of having someone fight in my place?

Uh-uh.

I've proven that I am a big enough pussy to have someone else fight for me.

That is on the record.

So have fun with that.

Oh, whoops.

Willie Colon's fighting for me.

The big question is which side does Chris Long join?

Oh.

We got to smoke him out before the fight.

What if we get Kyle?

They get Chris.

Yeah. I would take Kyle.
I think he's him out before the fight. What if we get Kyle? They get Chris.
Yeah.

I would take Kyle.

I think he's in better shape right now.

Do you know what?

We fucked this whole thing up.

Like, hey, guys, guess what?

Let's do the fight.

We just send Jake Marsh.

Boom.

He'd kick all their asses.

One versus three.

Have fun with that.

Come on.

Sportsmanship to death.

Yeah.

But, yeah, no, Russillo, it was actually very funny. We do love Russillo.
And he did i do love russillo too you do love russillo i love russillo um but he the yo-yo thing they uh absolutely nailed about my weight there was one other hold on i wrote it down there's one other thing that did i'll be honest hurt my feelings a little bit um i think russillo said something like what did he say he said something along they were talking about my yo-yo weight and then he's like yes sometimes he's not exactly the best looking dude talking about me and i was like did you have to say sometimes like did you have to go that far that's a compliment that's that's you think that is that's a compliment that's him saying like sometimes i really wish big cat would kiss fight me. Yeah, that's true.
He's trying to get me to kiss fight him.

You know what?

Challenge accepted.

We should start a league where it's rough and rowdy except kiss fighting.

Well, we could play kiss ball.

Yeah.

You could play kiss ball?

Ryan, meet me.

Santa Monica Pierce.

One game of kiss ball.

Kiss ball.

You throw a ball up in the air and you kiss the other guy as many times as you can until the ball lands.

Whoever kisses the most wins. No, he said he's definitely not yoked.
And he said, yeah, there's times when he has to ask himself. There's times when he sees pictures of me.
He's like, he's kind of attractive. And then other times saying, maybe not attractive.
I was like, man, you didn't have to add. Why did Ryan say that he wanted to fight me? No, I think the person threw that out.
I think it was Billy versus Ryan, you versus Saruti, which would be again. Bloodbath.
I like Saruti, but soccer fan. Come on.
I'm actually wearing a soccer jersey right now. That's true.
But it's from the 94 World Cup in honor of Tony Miola. I would imagine that Kyle and I would end up just probably being like, let's smoke a joint and just watch them fight.
That would be cool with me too. Either way, that was my fire fest of the week.
Also someone pre-clogged my toilet in my bathroom at the hotel. I don't know how that keeps happening.
So that sucks. You have to like five minutes.
Yeah, I don't, Hank, I don't know how it keeps happening. I showed up and the toilet was clogged.
I'd only gone once to the bathroom there and it was clogged. So that's crazy to me.

I think it was a plot to pre-clog all my toilets.

All right, numbers, and then we'll send everyone away.

95.

8, Billy's Fire Fest is at Swag Kelly Blocks on Twitter.

Oh, yeah.

If you were wondering.

And Jake's is that his charger overheated.

That sounds. Yeah, perfect.
His battery overheated, so he thinks his battery might be fried. Are you sure we didn't mix those two up? I feel like yours is Billy's, and mine is Jake's.
That's true. I would like to see...
Release the DMs, Billy, because I'm guessing you said something to Swag Kill. Well, there was a guy that works in CRISPR technology, like human genome altering shit that had billy blocked on twitter and when billy got to meet him he was like hey can you unblock me and he's like wait a sec you're the guy that kept repeatedly asking me if i could make a bigger frog this was years before he worked here yes billy was just like harass literally harassing a guy on twitter asking him to make a frog slightly larger than the previous frog yes um but billy it's actually better billy because you you are rat poison for swag kelly if swag's ever going to get back in the nfl he can't have you telling him how good he is all the time that's a fact uh all right numbers 95 97 74 74 that'd be freaky if it was 47.
See everyone on Monday. Love you guys.
I'm talking away. I don't know what I'm to say on stage anyway.
Today's another day to find you shining away. I'll be coming for your lover too Take on me Take me on I'll be gone And I do want to Needless to say I'm on the sentence But I'll be stolen away Thoroughly learning that life is okay Say out to me It's no better to be safe than sorry Take on me Take me on, I'll be gone in a day or two.
I'm out.