Paul Bissonnette, MNF, CFB Recap & Ben Simmons Is The Most Hated Man In Philly

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Today is Wednesday, October 20th. And normally we would lead with some Monday Night Football wrap-up.
But Ben Simmons, holy shit. This guy.
I'm actually starting to kind of like how dysfunctional he's made this thing. So Ben Simmons didn't want to be at basketball practice today.
So Doc Rivers said, go home from basketball practice. Sounds like a win-win.
They sit him home for conduct detrimental to the team, which you could make the argument that Ben Simmons being at basketball practice and shooting the ball. Correct.
Anytime he has the ball in his hands and he's taking a shot during a game, that's conduct detrimental to the team. But they just sit him home.
He just doesn't want to be there. The day after, he went to practice on Monday and practiced with his phone in his pocket, which you've got to have that thing on you at all times.
Make sure that you're ready to videotape anything, get a call. Did Ben Simmons think he was part of Blake of the Year? Is that what he was doing, keeping his phone on him? I don't know why you need your phone on you at basketball practice um but i think he might be just setting like his goal here might be to just show how disinterested he is so he does get sent home he just starts like he starts playing uh uh candy crush on his phone yeah he's playing snake yeah snood i was gonna say snood and you you out you dated i went older yeah i was snood also dated us snood which one was snood snood was the one where you like the thing went like this i think and then you shot it okay you tried to is that was that snood that's no that's asteroid i'm really dating myself now snood was awesome i remember snood uh but either way ben simmons point of no return i'd say because i don't know if you saw but jo Joel Embiid afterwards, he hates this guy.
He said, at this point, I don't care about that man. To not even say his name, I don't care about that man.
He also said he's not a babysitter. Everyone on the Sixers hates Ben Simmons.
There are some people who are like, well, he's going to get traded. I still maintain that I think Ben Simmons probably could have played this a little bit better, like showing up.
They're not going to trade him for nobody. They're going to wait to see if they can get somebody good for him.
And what he's just doing is basically just showing up, trying to communicate how disinterested he is while still showing up for practice. He should have just worn jeans on the court.
Did you ever have a guy on a team that you played on

that would wear jeans during practice?

Well, the phone thing, when you play pick-up hoops,

I remember I used to play pick-up hoops outside,

and there was a guy who would come in jeans,

and he'd have his phone on him.

So he's basically there.

Yeah.

I had a guy on my high school team that would wear jeans to practice,

but he was also the best guy on the team.

So it was fine. You can get away with having your phone on you at practice if you're Michael Jordan.
Right. You can do that.
Well, he's got cargo jeans too. I guarantee you that Kyrie Irving has his cell phone on him at all times, even during games, doing his own research.
What's that? That's Snood. Do you remember Snood? Yeah.
Yeah, Snood was awesome. Snood was great.
Snood was great. I have a take on Ben Simmons here because we've said on the show that Ben Simmons would be the best basketball player in the NBA if there was no basket.
Right. Or if he switched which hand he used.
Yeah. Well, you think that he's non-dexterous.
Right. I think he might be right-handed.
I think he doesn't know. He doesn't know.
He's figuring it out. He's like Billy when he went to college and was like, am I a quarterback or a wide receiver? He's experimenting.
He should experiment. He should get, he's Dex curious.
Yes. But I think at this point, Ben Simmons should just quit playing basketball.
I think he should quit. Okay.
I think he just doesn't like it. I think it's pretty obvious that he doesn't like playing basketball.
And it's got to be tough on a guy like, hypothetically, now granted, 56 million dollars counterpoint yes making money is cool that's very fun yeah but i still think that ben simmons just doesn't like playing basketball and if that's if that's the truth and he you know he's built to be a basketball player his body type is basketball his dad played basketball he probably grew up his entire life being by far the best basketball player that anybody knew around him but at some point if you don't actually like playing it yeah that's almost a curse at taking away the money that you've made which is obviously great so it's i don't want to say like i don't want to feel too bad for the guy but at the same time but he should just if he doesn't like doing it he should just quit he's like you remember the elf in the rudolph cartoon that's like i don't want to make the guy. But at the same time, if he doesn't like doing it, he should just quit.
He's like, remember the elf in the Rudolph cartoon? That's like, I don't want to make the toys. I want to be a dentist.
That's what Ben Simmons is. He wants to go with you.
Is he a phase guy? I don't know if it's that he doesn't like playing basketball. He just doesn't want to play for the Sixers anymore because for some made-up reason that he is like, I've been wronged here, when again, it's a crazy premise because when you see someone demanding a trade, it's usually the best player on a bad team saying, I need help, I want to trade.
This is the absolute inverse where Ben Simmons was, you could say, is the reason why they have been floundering in the playoffs, and he's like, my team is good, but I'm bad, I want to trade. I think think he probably still wants to play he probably just wants to play in like sacramento no no offense to sacramento but like play somewhere where he can just play and suck and not take shots and be a good defensive player and there it is see i i don't know i don't think that he wants to play i think he likes the money that's that comes along with it but he just doesn't want to play basketball which i empathize with that.
I would like to also get paid to not play basketball. Either way.
I feel like, I don't know, I haven't played close to home. Here, the New Zealand Breakers will make a trade offer for Ben Simmons.
You don't even have to shoot. In fact, we will suspend you for conduct detrimental to the team if you even attempt a shot in a New Zealand Breakers game.
I just don't know. If he didn't want to play basketball, I think he would have said that by now.

I don't know.

Maybe.

Maybe not.

I think he might still be at the point where he doesn't want to play basketball.

Trying to figure it out.

And he doesn't want to say that

because then that closes the door on any money

that he could make in the future.

Here's the big win in this.

It's everyone's dad or uncle who was like,

Ben Simmons couldn't even get into the NCAA tournament. He's a bust.
Yep. Those guys cashed those tickets.
That was a great take. I love that take.
Like, well, what did he do? He didn't even get into the tournament? I mean, you could almost also say Philly won. Philly? Ben Simmons should be like, Philly, you beat me.
Philly won, Ben Simmons zero. You know who's the other big winner of this is Nick Sirianni

because the heat is off him for at least a day and a half.

He's going to show up wearing a shirt that says,

like, Ben Simmons is a bum.

Yeah, fuck Ben Simmons.

Cross through his, you know, X through his face.

Either way, Hank, we need to finish this with our number one Philly guy, Hank. It's just sad to see.
It really is. How much are you enjoying this? I mean, it's amazing.
It's just been beautiful to see. The best part is there was a second where people swore him off.
They said, fuck him, get rid of him when he held out. He came back, and you did see some people be like all right you know what he showed up for camp

like let's get this thing going for the season like we can be good again and then this happens like two days later they're all the way back out Joel Embiid hates him everyone hates him Doc Rivers isn't putting up with his shit no they all hate him I mean they should they have every right to hate him because it's gotten so frustrating to be like not only is he not like a good teammate right now. He doesn't want to play with us, but

also, he's going to

submarine any

asset. frustrating to be like not only is he not like a good teammate right now he doesn't want to play with us but also he's he's gonna submarine any any assets we can get back that could help the team and one year after the contract extension and one year after passing up that pass instead of the dunk you know what syrian needs to do he needs to actually like call into like wip he needs to call into big ant show in the morning yeah and just go on like all-time rants he needs to go to the games and just like lead the anti-ben simmons people will absolutely love him but yeah hank i don't think that even you saw this coming in the way it's spectacularly crumbled no i mean the past few days for uh for boston fans who hate philly and hate new york uh have just been beautiful with everything going on with Philly teams, the Yankees.

But the other thing, too, with the way the NBA season worked last year

where it's kind of a time fuck because of COVID

where essentially the Lakers won the COVID bubble like a year ago.

Yeah, a time fuck.

So a year ago before the season started,

people were throwing out trade offers for Ben Simmons

and Philly fans were like, no, no, no, no, no.

We want Ben Simmons over anyone. Right.
And it's only one year later and they can't they can't get anyone i do they couldn't trade ben simmons for like a bag of bones i do feel very bad for philly fans in in this circumstance i don't because i know you don't for a fucking second i know you don't uh but if i may for a second this is this is a guy that you ride with that the whole world hated for a very long time. And you defended like time and time again being like Ben Simmons is actually good.
The national media going after him. And then he completely flipped it on you and made you look like a fool.
I do feel bad for Philly in this instance because they deserve it. They are diehard fans and they did ride for him for a very long time.
then he just turned around and said fuck you guys like i'm gonna make you all look like fools i think if you're gonna use a first round pick especially like a first overall pick on any athlete in philadelphia you need to do some pretty rigorous like mental health screening on you need to make sure that they're like alphas mentally like they can't be phased whether it's carson wentz or ben Simmons. There's just something about Philly.
It's not for everybody. Nope.
But the people that succeed there will become kings. Yes.
The people that won't get washed out and they will crumble. But the Philadelphia franchises need to have some sort of like, when they bring players in for their initial interviews, they should just be like fucking berating them.
They should waterboard them. They should either waterboard or they should have actual guys that live in philly row houses yeah just in a room and just giving examples of like these are the things i will say to you about you and about your face and about your family if you do not produce give them some batteries waterboarding them with insults yes exactly that's what what it should be.
Put a towel over their head and just have Angelo and Phil and Stevie just sit there and just scream into their face. That's what we absolutely need.
You have to get used to it. It's different in Philadelphia with that accent yelling at you.
Things cut a little bit deeper. Yeah, they do.
They demand a lot from their players. Alright, so the NBA starts tonight.
We will do

a... Listen.

In my mind, NBA starts on Christmas

Day, but we will try to do an NBA preview

at some point in the next week or so.

Maybe with Drusillo. What were you

going to say, Jake? I have a reminder for you

from the June 21st episode. Bet

unders on all NBA week one games.

Oh, shit. Why did I say that?

Oh, no, I remember.

That was me because they switched the ball over.

It's a new ball.

I bet never entered tonight.

It's a new ball.

Just what you said from the summer. Is it a new ball for real?

Yeah.

Also, the Bucs.

But what if the ball's good?

Maybe the biggest lock of all time tonight.

I don't know.

What?

The Bucs.

Why?

The roster's coming all the way back.

You saw that video with Giannis with the jump shot. Yeah, but this is.
He's like the greatest basketball player of all time. The Nets are completely dysfunctional.
I don't think the Nets are... I feel like this could be a Kevin Durant just like, fuck you.
Yeah, the Nets still have James Harden and Kevin Durant, right? Yes, and Blake Griffin. And Blake Griffin.
And Joe Harris. Which Joe Harris do we have? Good one.
Good Joe Harris. Regular season Joe Harris.
It's a lock. Okay, a lock.
So Hank's saying a lock. We're taping this in the afternoon, and you're saying it's a lock.
Hank also, so before you came in, he was saying Giannis has been in the gym all summer long, just working out, grinding harder than anybody. But now I found out Hank saw one Instagram video.
Did you see this video? Also, you do realize, Hank, the finals ended like a month ago. Oh, yeah.
month ago oh yeah all summer lawyer yes okay time fuck ironically from that June 21st episode the synopsis says the process is officially dead Ben Simmons is afraid to shoot a basketball yep so there we go we're back there time but we will do it we'll do a full preview I am I do think the Bulls are gonna be good this year which is gonna be very bad for me me. We should do the NBA preview with Ryan Whitney.
Oh, that would be good. Maybe Ryan and Ryan.
Ryan and Ryan. Yeah, the two Ryans.
A versus E. Yeah.
All right, so Monday Night Football. Let's talk about it real quick.
Huge win for the Titans. Titans deserve a ton of credit.
Derrick Henry is out of control. How many touchdowns does he have now? Too many.
He's had a couple games now with three touchdowns i think he has like 11 or something yeah he's dominating he's insane um but the titans like that was i was thinking about it i was gonna do a basic tweet i held my held back but it was it was the beauty of the nfl in that any given sunday obviously it's played on monday night but like everyone thought the bills were the best team in the AFC they go into a Tennessee game Tennessee's defense struggling and then the Titans pull out that win I still think I was arguing with some people online which I shouldn't have done because I realized that the spread was what they were really arguing about I think the Bills going for it I do that a hundred out of a hundred times when you have 12 inches to go and you have Josh Allen at the end of the game to try to win it in regulation. Yeah, I see a lot of people out there are results guys, not process guys.
I'm thinking about becoming a results. I might be a results guy now.
Okay, I'm a process guy. You can never be wrong when you're a results guy.
You can be like, yeah, I would have drafted Tom Brady in the first round, actually. But yeah, people are mad about the spread.
They're mad that it didn't didn't work. So it's the easiest thing in the world to get mad about.
But to be fair, on that last quarterback sneak, they just didn't need that one 12 inches. They also had to then use a timeout.
Then they would have had to take two shots at the end zone, two shots max at the end zone. I think you might have had three.
And then, well, probably two, maybe three. I think you have three.
But you still have – I still think that that's better than going to a coin flip. I liked it.
And then you kick a field goal if you don't get it. I liked the call when I saw it in real time and the best way to do it.
I think I saw you tweet about this, but this is how I've been kind of monitoring whether or not to go for it. It's just imagine what the other team is going to be.
Yes. So what are their fans thinking? So I was betting on the Buffalo Bills, but I was thinking to myself, if I was a Titans fan, I would want them to kick this field goal, get to overtime, hopefully get the ball back in Derrick Henry's hands, ice it that way.
Yes. Yes.
No, if you're a Titans fan, you don't want them going for it because getting 12 inches, and I saw also a stat, which is good because we always kind of forget that fourth and one is not all the same. There are fourth and ones, and it's like one and a half yards.
There are fourth and ones. This one was 12 inches.
You need to get 12 inches with Josh Allen. I would take my chances getting 12 inches with Josh Allen and maybe even score.
The only thing that you could say and I'll buy is that the play call maybe, I would have maybe rather have him roll out and you can either throw it or he runs for it because he's just such a freak. But I still do it every time.
Derrick Henry, by the way, 10 touchdowns. Okay, yeah, they telegraphed what they were going to do when he went under center.
They were able to compact the defensive line. And that was a good play by the defensive linemen.
He pushed the fuck out of him. But yeah, when it's Josh Allen, he's one of the best quarterbacks in the NFL at converting quarterback sneaks.
I think he is the best quarterback. I think it was last year was 94%.
Yeah, he is the best at it. And so he unfortunately had a moment.
That one wasn't where he pushed all the buttons. The quarterback sneak, that was a classic Y button when you're standing still yep and you just kind of fall down um so he ended up like half a yard short they lost the game i was actually saying that vrabel should have declined the penalty on the kick return that ended up being a touchdown just because it felt like you want the ball back again to score that would have been the ultimate analytics right there it's like you know what we'll give you the lead with two minutes left because I'm that confident in my ability to kick your ass.
And I don't, you know, each game, we leave each game having, you know, reactions like, oh, maybe the Bills suck or maybe their defense isn't that good. I think they're fine.
I think they just played against a Titans team that was really, really desperate for a win. And also Derrick Henry's fucking incredible..
Well, let's give credit where credit's due also. I think the best performance of the night last night was A.J.
Brown. He was playing with food poisoning.
He was shitting himself. Derrick Henry said, I just made sure we had enough toilet paper for him.
So you could see it in his eyes, too. Have you ever had food poisoning? Yes.
You feel like you're dead. Yeah, it's terrible.
It's like the worst feeling ever. Your body reject rejects everything you drink gatorade and you puke yeah so he was just he was shitting himself during the game he was walking around sweating everywhere his eyes looked like they were dead but he still went out there he had some awesome blocks and some important catches i can't i don't i don't get out of bed it's so tough for me if i have food poisoning just the walk to the toilet yes is painful yes and so credit to AJ Brown that's the most one of the most impressive athletic performances I've seen in a while I think the Bills will be fine they have I think the second easiest or easiest schedule for the rest of the year yeah so they'll I still think they'll probably end up with the one seed um because they I mean even their next three games the Bills play the Dolphins, the Jaguars, the Jets.
Those are their next three games. I think they'll be okay.
Well, it's also after bye week, so they get to rest up, right? Yes. And then the Dolphins.
The Jaguars, the Jets, then the Colts. And the Jets, yeah.
And the Titans, I was thinking about this. We were talking about how the Patriots are good enough to lose close to anyone.
The Titans, the Mike Vrabel Titans, they will just be able to win a big game. They are a big game type team where they might fall flat in the 1 o'clock game against an inferior opponent.
But when you think about this Titans team, they can get up for these big games. They've won some big games, and so they always have that dangerous part to them.
We're like, I don't know, maybe the Titans will get your A performance and they'll beat you. Yeah, Mike Frable under the lights is a different coach.
He was so mad last night. Is he okay? He was so mad.
In the first half, he looked just pissed off. He was breaking the record for scowls.
Yeah, I don't think he said anything. There were a couple times when he was just utterly disappointed where he shook his head.
Yeah. Like his son just came home with a D- on a test.
But yeah, Vrabel, he'll coach good under the lights. And the Titans, they're physical.
Yeah. They can kick your ass.
They deserve credit, though. So there's the Titans' credit.
And credit to the boy, Taylor Luana. I heard he's doing well.
Yes. He gave a nice little – That was a scary moment.
He gave – what is that called? The shaka? Hang loose. The hang loose sign when he was – Frank, where does that stand, Billy? When you saw the hang loose, were you like, that's good, but I wish he had done the ghost ride the whip one? It was a football guy move.
Okay. Doing the shaka? Because it was just extra.
He could have just done the thumbs up. Yep.
Yeah. The player that does horns down is going to be my instant favorite as they're getting started off the field.
Any issues with my power rankings before we get to college football? I've muted you early today because I knew they were coming. You were ranked sixth out of the two win teams.
I honestly don't care. Patriots second.
Everyone's entitled to their opinion. I don't like that, Big Cat.
I would have ranked us lower. Seventh? Yeah.
Seventh is the lowest. I might be out on the football team.
It was funny because I did have some Patriots fans hitting me and being like, how are the Colts ahead of the Patriots? It's like, well, the Colts just smoked the Texans and the Patriots barely beat the Texans. Oh, no.
No. But you could also do the eyeball test, Big Cat.
Yeah. You could eyeball test.
Listen, I think the Colts eyeball test. Hey, one and two is not bad.
If it was stump the line, the Patriots and Colts would. Stump the line on a neutral field? Yeah.
Well, that's not how my. It should be.
No, that's not what that is. Stump the line is...
No, the data. Yeah, stump the line is just it has to be an actual matchup.
And we can go back and look at that previous game. And what was the final score? The Texans won 34-3.
Oh, are you talking about which one? Wait, I'm talking about the Texans and the Patriots. That was 25-22, I want to say? Yeah, that's right.
So it would be Patriots minus three. Yeah.
That's the line. And the Colts would be, what, 28? 28.
Minus 28. What's the line? It was great rankings.
You know how to get interaction on your tweets. It's not.
They're unbiased. Love it, Hank.
You're good at that. Don't get mad.
I'm not. Don't get mad.
I'm jealous of how good you are at getting replies. seem mad.
Getting replies. Yeah.
Nick Wrightcat. I thought you'd be happy that I ranked you number two.
No, I was. I was thrilled.
Okay. Seemed thrilled.
Should we talk some college football? Some college football. What do you got, Billy? It was a sick weekend of college football.
There it is. It was a way to start it off.
Not as good as high school football. Next week, there's going to be no top 25 matchups, so we got to sa savor this week.
You don't know that, though. Wait, this week? You mean we've got to savor last week? Last week, I mean.
Got it. So this week, there's none.
Got it. Fair.
Purdue, though, gets the big... Purdue wins the weekend with their performance in Iowa City.
We mentioned it on Sunday, but the fact that they've beaten the one or two ranked team nine times as an unranked team is pretty crazy. That's also like the beauty of college football, because when people say, oh, college football, you know who's going to make it to the final four every year.
Like Alabama or Clemson are going to win. A win like that for Purdue, like that can carry you for an entire year if you're a Purdue fan.
You know what I mean? Those are the wins that you're like, that was fucking awesome. That can carry you through an offseason for sure.
I'm looking at the top 25 rankings right now, and we talk about maybe getting a different color into the Final Four. Oh, it's bad.
So regardless. It's bad right now.
It's all black and red. Yes, unless Michigan crashes the party.
Michigan could potentially crash it, but it's Ohio State, Alabama, Oklahoma, Cincinnati, Georgia,

all black and red, top to bottom.

Is there a blue blood you would like to jinx this week?

Because you did it to Notre Dame.

You did it twice to Texas because they lost two in a row now.

Yeah.

Have you said, hey, they could make it?

But they could.

I actually think that Texas is getting better every week

with these awesome losses.

Did you see the horns down on the helmet? I did, yeah. That's a sign.
I do think that Texas, the more they lose, the better they get. So who would you like to jinx this week? So this week I would like to – wait, Michigan is playing who? Michigan is playing Northwestern.
They will win. No, I'm not jinxing Michigan this weekend.
The Big Ten matchups the following week are Michigan versus Michigan State and Penn State versus Ohio State. So we'll kind of figure a lot of things out.
I thought about jinxing Georgia. Okay.
I thought about jinxing them. Shout out Mark Stoops calling timeouts to cover the spread.
That's a legend. Knew exactly what he was doing.
That deserves coach of the year consideration just for the fact that he called the timeout with three seconds left down 23 points just to score a touchdown and cover the spread. Yeah, that was nice.
I would have liked if they had converted the extra point because I had the over. So that was tough because I celebrated that win after the touchdown was scored.
Left Buffalo Wild Wings happy as a clam. Got into the car, opened up the score app, looked at it.
I was like, they're missing a point here. What happened? Put it back on.
Put it back on. Stoops just up.
It would have been nice if you had made that extra point. I appreciate you taking the time to actually try to cover the spread, try to get me the over, but the details matter.
So I think Georgia, I might be chinking Georgia. Okay, they have Florida next week.
Oh, it's not this weekend. I thought the cocktail party was this weekend.
No, it's next weekend, and that's Hank's one to watch. Anthony Richardson.
Yeah, okay, yeah. He's fucking good.
Upset alert. I'm with you, Hank.
I think that they could do it. So in that case, I'll just say, fuck it, Tennessee over Alabama.
Oh, okay. As Big T put it, it is the most important cultural rivalry in the history of the South.
Yeah. Again, it's very tough in college football.
You can't. I do respect.
Didn't some states break up over their rivalry? Yeah. No.
Yeah. The Civil War happened down there.
And let's not forget Golden Corral versus Waffle House. Yeah.
There's a lot of rivalries. Alabama-Tennessee is a fun rivalry.
They play at the same time every year. Cigars afterwards

and everything. It's just impossible

to be like, this is the biggest rivalry

when the team you're playing has

a bigger rival. Yes.
It would be

like saying, if you

tried to say,

like if I tried to say, like,

Wisconsin versus Michigan is the biggest

rivalry in the Big Ten, it's like, but their

biggest rival is Ohio State. Right, you're

swagger jacking their rivalry. Right, you can't do that.

You're leeching onto that. It doesn't work like that.

I'm sorry. Wisconsin versus Michigan is the biggest rivalry in the Big Ten.
But their biggest rival is Ohio State. Right, you're swagger jacking their rivalry.
Right, you can't do that. You're leeching onto that.
It doesn't work like that. Although I would say if you're Alabama, you probably have, I would say, LSU, Auburn, Georgia, Florida.
Yeah, they don't play very often. Right, right.
But when they do, I'd say like. But no, Tennessee-Alabama rivalry is something.
They play the same I love the fact they play the third weekend of October every single year. They do the cigars afterwards in the winner's locker room.
There is... It is a true rivalry.
It's a rivalry. It's just not Alabama-Auburn.
I'll say it's number three. I would say LSU-Alabama feels like more of a rivalry right now.
Speaking of LSU, that's the big story. We touched on it, but Coach O is out.
He's going to finish out the term. I really do think that it will be a maybe once-in-a-lifetime betting opportunity if they can get to a bowl game and they try to ride one out for Coach O.
You know what's crazy? Coach O just made himself into an interim head coach. Yes, he is.
For himself. For himself, correct.
I can't bet against that no you cannot you cannot um it sucks we love coach o but it was obviously i think everyone who follows college football even a little bit knew it was coming um now the biggest the best part about this is every single cook because lsu is a top three job i would say in college football. I love this.
I love ranking jobs. Yeah.
Well, I mean, the staff that everyone keeps throwing out, and it is crazy to think, the last three coaches at LSU all won national titles. So it tells you something right there.
But every coach in America is going to get asked about it. Like Dabo got asked about it.
Lane Kiffin got asked about it. I'm sure Lincoln Riley would get asked about it.
Jimbo is the best because Jimbo, his quote was, I plan on being here for a long time. Wait.
No, no. That was his quote at Florida State before he left Texas A&M.
Okay. Longest objective.
His quote at Texas A&M was, I plan on being here and fulfilling this contract. Okay, got it.
It's also like message board fanfic porn with this contract situation. So for anyone who doesn't know, Scott Woodward is the AD at LSU.
He's going out to try to find the new coach. He was the AD at Texas A&M when he hired Jimbo Fisher.
They put into the contract that there is no buyout if Jimbo Fisher wants to leave. So now he can go get Jimbo Fisher and not have to pay a buyout so people could make the argument that he basically is a time traveler and he set this whole thing up in a sequence of events that he can go get Jimbo Fisher again and the contract that he wrote makes it not punitive to getting Jimbo Fisher.
Right, you just accurately described what would happen if House of Cards had a three season long runway to plan something out. This is exactly how it would end at the end with Jimbo Fisher slamming his Aggie ring into the desk.

It's incredible.

And saying, all right, let's get to work.

I'm calling the people out there right now.

If you have flight tracking software,

if you're an active member of a college football message board,

now's the time.

I need you more than ever.

I need to get all over this plane tracking situation

at Baton Rouge.

I need that tail number.

I need that sent to me stat

every time they depart from an airport. I need to start start connecting dots doesn't matter what town they're flying into i can find a football coach that's somehow related to any major airport in the united states just keep me informed of it because flight tracking season is my favorite so let's stay on top of it you guys have a very big task ahead of you i hope uh would you like to see? I hope they hire Lane Kiffin because then Lane Kiffin can hire Coach O.
Yeah, I would. Because they're like best friends.
Lane Kiffin would be a good one just because I'd like to see him stay. I'd like to see him coach for every single team in the SEC.
Outside of that, I don't know. I think you've got to consider at least bringing Joe Brady back.
You've got to feel him out, and you have to ask, do you want to be a professional coach? Because he's going to get – the problem with Joe Brady is, as long as the Panthers don't screw up too badly, he's going to get head coaching interest this offseason. In the NFL.
So you have to at least start asking questions right now. Which the Panthers are kind of screwing up right now.
They're kind of screwing up right now, but he still has the ace in the hole of, well, Sam Darnold kind of stinks and also Christian Caffrey's been injured. So the only reason I would think maybe not Joe Brady is Scott Woodward, the AD.
Apparently, he is like, all he wants is like a trophy. You know what I mean? Like a trophy, like higher.
So he was the guy who also hired Chris Peterson out in Washington

when he hired him there from Boise, which everyone was shocked for that.

So he's a splash guy.

Joe Brady might not be the splash.

Lincoln Riley would be the splash.

You know what I mean?

Like getting Lincoln Riley before Oklahoma comes to the SEC,

that would be awesome for rivalries and just crazy stories.

Joe Brady is not a splash, but I think since he has that history of winning a national championship, and he's basically him and Inzminger, is that how you say his name? Yeah. The other offensive coordinator? They're credited with that championship just as much as Coach O is to a certain extent because of what they did with Joe Burrow.
It's all awesome, though. I think people would be happy.
Maybe Urban? I was going to say Urban Meyer would be another one to look at because as long as you don't do it to any of the Dean's wives, Urban, then it might be fair game. It's Louisiana.
Who cares? It's fun to have all this intrigue. Because, again, it sucks for USC because LSU is a better job than USC, so now they have to get maybe seconds.
Who knows? You think LSU is a better job than USC? Because the competition is like there's no, no one competes with LSU in Louisiana. Yeah.
So it's, they don't have the in-state talent they get to keep. Right.
That to me, that's a close one. I guess USC has really fallen off a lot in the last 10 years.
Yeah. And it's, I mean, again, it's, it is, it's hard to argue against the fact that the last three LSU coaches have won national title.
It feels like you can, you just go there and you can win a national title. Anything else from college football? Anything else? WSU fire their coach.
Yes. Washington state.
Rolovich. Rolovich is out, but I'm not sure why they fired him now as opposed to firing him a month ago because they essentially fired him for not getting vaccinated.
Yes. Right? Well, they sucked.
Let's go to bro football doc. Billy, do you know why they fired him? Probably bad papers.
Papers. Bad papers.
Bad papers. What do you mean? Might have given out some fake papers.
Oh, he had some. Oh.
I can't confirm that. Okay.
This is just speculation from Billy. This is complete speculation.
A Vander Kane situation? Yeah, i feel like that probably would have been they would have said that's the reason they fired yeah probably also he's been saying for like and he's so anti-vax yeah he's so anti-vax he wouldn't have tried to fake it why did they why did they wait this long if this has been a like a known thing i think they gave him a ultimatum oh they set they set a date? Yeah, they're like, you have until this date

to get vaxxed.

Yeah.

Speculation, but like,

and then on that date

he handed a bad piece of paper.

That makes sense.

Okay, so a combination.

Yeah.

Coach O should coach for them.

Who's speculation is this, Billy?

Are you speculating this?

I'm speculating.

Am I not allowed to speculate?

No, I'm just making sure

it's your speculation.

No, you can speculate.

Just say this is my

original speculation.

This is a Billy football speculation, not a part of my take speculation. That way, legally, you're going to get sued, not us.
Parody law. Parody law.
Got it. That was actually a bro football doc speculation, which is a parody of Billy.
Right. Got it.
Also, Cocho speculated to Miami from Billy. Not as head coach.
As head coach. Whoa.

Okay.

I think Coach O will probably have a year or two

where he maybe goes as an assistant coach somewhere.

I think Coach O.

He'd love it down in Miami.

Yeah.

It's where he, you know, he would coach those defensive lines.

That's why.

Yeah.

I think Coach O would love it on college game day.

I think he'd be awesome on TV.

God, no.

You don't think so?

What?

Going to a different college campus. Having to wear a shirt and tie yeah no that no talking to producers yeah out the window think about the closed captioning yeah okay cho here coach oh here's a bunch of stats and things you need to know he's like what i mean do you watch college game day ever a lot of times that's just basically just talk yeah just guys shooting the shit uh by the way i didn't even tell the story i went to when we went to knoxville we landed and uh the uh herb street and and bear who we love bear were on the tarmac when we landed because i think they were stopping over kirk herb street has the bluest eyes of all time i was shocked i was taken aback breathless so if we go out to dinner with him just be ready we're gonna fuck him things might things might get out of hand get only look at those eyes long enough yeah all right if he starts ordering the oysters yeah the red wine dude I hope you Caribbean blue okay I was shocked yeah I was like oh my god all right I'm now I'm a little bit worried yes I'm just saying Just want to let everyone know.
I won like, oh my God. All right.
Now I'm a little bit worried. Yes.
I'm just saying. I just want to let everyone know.
I won best size class of 2014, purple high. Did they know that you were color? I don't even know what color they are, but other people like them, I guess.
You do have good eyes. Well, you have good color eyes.
They're good eyes for us. Yeah, they're good eyes for us.
They don't work. They suck suck for you.
Good to look at. Not to look.
Ooh, nice, Billy. Alright, let's do Hot Seat Cool Throne and we'll get to Paul Bissonette.
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limitations, and exclusions. Alright, hot seat, cool

thrown. Hank.
My hot

seat, uh, Big Cat is your boy.

Chris Broussard.

What? What'd he do? He just

accidentally said that

Taylor Luan was on the bills. Was he

emailing Bruce Allen? He said that the reason

the only reason the Titans won is because

Taylor Luan was injured.

Implying that

Thank you. He said that Taylor LeJuan was on the Bills.
Was he emailing Bruce Allen? He said that the only reason the Titans won is because Taylor LeJuan was injured, implying that that was why the Bills didn't get a fourth down. Yeah, no, he actually went as far to say that was the left side of the line is where it got blown up, where Taylor LeJuan used to be.
My hot seat was going to be anyone who fell for that classic prank. Chris Broussard just keeping you on your toes.
Chris Broussard is really good at faking being ignorant. Yeah.
About everything. You fell for it, dude.
Yeah, I did. Hooked line and sinker.
What did you do? What are you thinking? Guess what? You're talking about him right now. Yeah.
Confirm. Great.
Sounds like Chris Broussard lives rent-free in Hank's head. Yeah.
Greatest. Greatest.
Greatest. Greatest.
Greatest clip ever, when Chris Broussard, when LeBron wrote a story in Sports Illustrated and Chris Broussard looked at his phone on the set of SportsCenter and was like, yup, confirmed, LeBron to Cleveland. It's like, well, LeBron literally wrote the story in Sports Illustrated.
That's his second source. Yeah.
Yeah. He's like, yup, I'm seeing it, confirmed.
All right, so I guess hot seat me for thinking that. Big time hot seat.
Sorry we'll be in the hot seat. My cool throne is Red Sox fans.
I guess hot seat could be whoever produces the Fox baseball show. I don't know if you guys saw this or if you kept the game on.
I kind of just kept the game on and wasn't paying attention. Then the post-game show was on, and I tuned in.
And they did it outside, right outside the stadium. The fans were so loud that they were making conversation, and you could not hear a single— If you were trying to hear what A-Rod and Big Papi and Frank Thompson were saying, you couldn't hear them because you could just hear constant people screaming.
Then they started going at A-Rod hard. A-Rod good, like, image reversal in the past 10, 20 years.
People seem to like him generally. Everyone.
Red Sox fans fucking still hate him because they were just, like, started chanting, Aflac, like, fuck you, A-Rod. Oh, rude.
At one point, like, the show was just muted for, like, two minutes because it was like, uh, uh, and they just had to mute it because you could hear the fans so clearly. It was super, super rowdy.
It felt like a World Series atmosphere. And A-Rod was pretending to love it, but there's just no way he was.
Oh, he loved it. He can go with the flow, dude.
Yeah, because that's not a real thing. J-Lo and Aflac are doing it for fun.
Are you saying Aflac, like the insurance commercial? Yeah, probably. Aflac.
Yeah, that's what they're doing. It's an insurance ad.
It's a viral commercial for Aflac. Let's talk baseball real quick, though, Hank.
We were talking about it before, but it's just crazy that the Red Sox are just going to win the World Series again. It feels like it.
It feels like 13. It's just the whole year.
Oh, no, wait. 19 was the last one.
The whole year, they're like, oh, I think it was 18. 18, sorry.
They're not that good. They're not that good.
Oh, but now they're just the best team in baseball. Yeah.

They're like killing the Astros.

Killing them.

They haven't had a start to get past the third inning.

It's crazy.

So the last three games.

They were down six, and they were like,

we have to get more innings out of this pitcher.

We don't even care about not giving up runs.

They have no bullpen.

Yeah.

So who are Yankees fans rooting for, by the way?

Are they still hating the Astros? Do they still have that lingering resentment? They're probably not even watching the series, right? Yeah, they're in trouble. They're down bad.
Yeah, down real bad. Real bad.
So with the Red Sox, they're smashing so hard. I've thought about doing those bets the last three games where I bet against a player to hit a home run in each game.

Every player that I've almost submitted the bet button on responsibly

has ended up going yard that game.

Yes.

It's been really like Dave Schwarber.

Somebody knew every night Schwarber's hitting balls to the moon.

I love him so much.

You're welcome, Hank.

They showed us that last night of every team in the playoffs,

and the Red Sox have hit, I think, 19 home runs runs aside and the team in second has hit 8. It's crazy.
They also have like 8 out of 10 or something grand slams like in ALCS history. It's fucking insane.
I don't know. They just somehow are the best team in baseball.
And then the Dodgers like by the time you're listening to this,

you will know if the Dodgers are dead.

But Charlie Morton starting for the Braves, he's pretty fucking good.

It would be crazy if it was the Braves in the World Series

because that just feels like a franchise that is always cursed.

Yeah.

I mean, they'll always have 95, right?

Yeah, 95.

That was big.

What, 13 NL Easts in a row?

Really ruined my plans from a few shows ago.

What? Turns out that the home field advantage isn't won by the All-Star game anymore. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's right.
And so if the Red Sox play the Braves, they won't have home field. That's right.
That's right. The Braves don't really have home field.
It's not Fulton County Stadium anymore. Turner Field? Legendary place.
No, it's not even Turner Field. No, if the Red Sox play the Braves, they will have home field,

but then they won't play the weekend games.

They will have home field?

The Braves are the only team that they would have home field against.

Got it. They had a better record than the Braves?

Then we get the nice storyline of the Boston Braves.

Yeah.

Boston Red Sox.

Although Mookie going back up against the Red Sox would be interesting.

Yeah, it would.

And Joe Kelly.

On the Dodgers. I knew that.
Yep. PFT, your hot seat.
My hot seat is Billy. Billy's on the hot seat.
Okay. Because Billy got out-alphed by Carl Anthony Towns.
Uh-oh. Who prepares for every game now in the NBA by watching a video of gorillas fighting to the death to pump them up.
Oh, wow. Something that I don't think Billy's ever done in his life or even considered.
That's too hardcore for you, Billy. No, that's because that video that he watches, the gorillas don't actually die.
I know exactly what video he's talking about. It's a fake gorilla death.
It's a fake gorilla snuff tape. But isn't Carl Anthony Towns one of the criticisms that he plays kind of soft for a big man? Well, that's how he started.
He's trying to hype himself up. Got it, got it, got it.
He's trying to turn himself into a beast. This will fix it.
Yeah, yeah. So, Billy, you've seen this video.
I've seen the video. How do you know that? Because it's the video of the two gorillas.
Is it possible that there's more than one video of two gorillas fighting? Look, as someone who scours the internet for those types of videos, the one video that comes closest to it is two gorillas fighting in a zoo, and everyone in the background is yelling, get the zookeeper, as if the zookeeper is going to hop in there and fight the two gorillas off. I've seen that one.
That's the one he's talking about. How do you know? Because there's no other gorilla death videos.
There's no other gorilla. Okay.
That's the best gorilla fight video on the internet. Got it.
Undisputed? Undisputed. Did you guys see the Harambe statue down in wall street yeah yeah sweet prince our sweet prince gone too soon just started getting over that age strong together i think it's too i think it's too soon to have that statue yeah what if he had bad tweets yeah that's true we gotta figure it out i actually re-watched the video yeah and they you think they should have shot the kid?

Harambe was kind of slinging that baby around.

Yeah.

That's just because he was so nurturing.

He was saving it, yeah.

The kid was going to drown.

He's a gorilla.

He's a gorilla, yeah.

Mike Francesa.

Are you a cool throw on PFC? My cool throw is Aaron Boone.

Because Aaron Boone, as we alluded to earlier,

the Yankees fans are down pretty bad right now. But no fear, Aaron Boone just got an extension, and General Manager Brian Cashman said, Aaron Boone is the solution.
He isn't the problem. So congratulations.
All your problems have been solved. Aaron Boone will now be your manager moving forward.
So you should be very confident in that. I love it.
Aaron Boone. I think he's both.
The problem and the solution. He's the fourth winningest Yankee manager of all time.
He's the first Yankee manager since 1922 to have his fifth year without winning a title. So that's some good continuity.
Also, Yankee fans are just completely glossing over the fact that Hal Steinbrenner gave Aaron Boone this contract, but demanded that they be better. So problem solved.
The thing that doesn't make sense is they fired Joe Girardi nine innings away from going to the World Series in 2017 when they were the baby bombers with Judge, Gleyber Torres. He wasn't even on the team yet, I don't think.
But it was all the young guys, and they overachieved. And then you have this terrible run of four years, and he gets an extension.
Yeah, I think you got to fire a manager with braces, though. To me, that was an issue from the get-go with Girardi.
It's tough to lead a locker room. But he won the World Series with them.
Aaron Judge is out there, and he needs braces, but he doesn't get them. Oh, he fixed them.
Oh, he did? He fixed the gap. Smart.
Smart move. But yeah, as far as Aaron Boone goes, I think his face just doesn't give me any confidence that he's going to be able to lead a team.
I think they should have kept Girardi. I think so too.
I think that's probably... If you had a time machine...
Go back. What do you call...
What's the Major League Baseball equivalent of a confetti quarterback, but except for a manager? Manager? Like a champagne manager? Yeah. A goggle, a ski goggle manager.
Ski goggle manager. Yeah.
That was Girardi. Yeah, he was a ski goggle.
Aaron Boone, not a ski goggle. Not a ski goggle manager.
Or they can just make a new stadium because they want it in the first year of the new Yankee Stadium. Oh, okay.
They might actually take you up on that. Yeah.
Don't give Hal some ideas. My hot seat was Hank because he fell for the classic prank.
Chris Broussard. Oh, man.
My cool drone is chili because chili season is back. Finally, we're under 60 degrees.
I had it last night. I did, too.
Thanks, too. It's great.
Under 60 degrees. It's just nice that we're in that crisp fall weather.
So some people talk soup season coming back soup season you never never never no no nobody should ever stop with soup season chili is chili is a different animal together chili season has a season yeah it weighs heavy and it's great it's the best you gotta you gotta be chili season is about wearing a sweatshirt eating some chili getting toasty on the insides yeah and shitting your brains out leftover chili yeah once they all start to marry the flavors yep get to know each other in the pot it's the best so welcome to chili season uh jake uh my hot seat is waffle house employees so uh some waitress pulled a gun on someone who ordered cheese eggs because there was a miscommunication on one on if there should be cheese on the eggs or not. I'm struggling to find where the miscommunication could be for cheese eggs.
She said, or excuse me, the person, the victim said, they didn't bring them to me, then they brought me normal eggs, and I said I ordered eggs with cheese on it. It was all a normal dispute over food.
And that at all unraveled from there. I feel like that's something W Waffle House employees sign off on though.
I don't think that's anything. Waffle House employees should be authorized to carry handguns.
I think that's fine. Over cheese eggs? Yeah.
No, it's their call. Once you enter Waffle House you acknowledge.
It's like if you walk into an amusement park and it says by by crossing this point, you accept the risk of death.

Yes.

That's the price you pay for going into a Waffle House and getting to eat their patty melts and their grits and their smothered, covered, chunked, peppered, diced hash browns.

And order like 10 different meals and have the bill be like $14.

You know what the best move at Waffle House is?

Drinking accidentally four more cups of coffee than you ever would have if they weren't just walking by all the time being like, you need a refill, hon. Fair.
My cool throne is minor league baseball. So until this year, they've been dealing with the Fyre Fest of themselves.
They weren't getting housing. Now they're getting housing.
Oh. There's guys like pictures, true Fyre fest, just sleeping on a mattress on the floor.

So now they have housing.

Now they have housing.

Wow.

Good for them.

Big up.

Stick up for the little guy.

Isn't that technically human trafficking?

I don't know.

That seemed before you give them housing.

That seemed kind of fucked up.

Yeah.

So that's being changed.

Okay.

Good for the minor leaguers.

Yeah.

Problem solved.

Sounds like they're in a good position financially.

Yeah.

Everything's good now.

Billy. My hot seat is everyone, especially the college football landscape Because Nick Saban apparently suffered a bruise When Texas A&M stormed the field And he showed it to everyone at a press conference And he's been acting pretty erratically We have the most dangerous animal is a hurt animal And I think we have that on our hands withan.
He was going after. Isn't it a frightened animal or scared? Because if you're hurt.
Injured, an injured animal. But don't the coyotes go after the injured animals? No, but the injured animals are the most vicious.
Okay. Because they're defensive.
I'm sorry. A cornered cat.
Exactly. Yeah, okay.
But, yeah, he was going after Bill O'Brien for a wasted time time out so just watch that storyline also hot seat people watch tiktok turns out a bunch of uh high school girls in texas have started developed certain nervous tics because they've been watching too much tiktok and start yelling out beans randomly and it's actually a highly recorded epic like over 100 people are recording sounds like this yelling is terrible, Billy. You think this is crazy, but...
No, I don't. I believe you.
I don't even want to watch the TikToks that are causing it, but... It's fake, and you got duped.
It's not fake. Yeah.
Wait, so all you have to do is watch a TikTok, and then it spreads to you. Oh, shit, I have it, too.
No, it's real. I can't tell if this is an elongated Billy bit.
They think it... Well, he always can claim bit.
No, he's not bidding right now. This is not bit.
Did you guys see this story? No. Well, then you didn't see that they're contracting a certain type.
A beans disease? Yeah, they're yelling beans and other things. This is not a bit.
I actually got that too when I was in high school, except it was penis, and everyone would just yell penis. When we got in trouble we said no it's actually just a nervous tick yeah yeah or the time then uh remember that story about the kid who drew the dicks all over the place and remember the three games this game everyone like couldn't lift their arms up and their hands were in threes and they put it below their waist what about that one school that had it was like their homecoming and and there were three pigs that were running around the hallway.
Pig one, pig two, and pig four. Then they spent the next week looking for pig three.
That was real too. Classic.
Alright, this Wall Street Journal did write about it. Seriously, there's a bunch of younger people who are just yelling random shit.
Beans? They're saying it in a British accent? Yeah, because there's a British TikToker who just yells beans all the time.

And these girls can't stop yelling beans.

And they're going to the hospital for it.

Okay, I'm going to believe you.

It's real.

Banes!

Banes!

Banes!

Fuck.

Banes!

We're going to catch it.

Banes!

Banes!

Oh, you're cool throwing billies.

Banes, isn't it?

I know what I'm doing for my next fussy fuck lads Spines Turnover props University of Las Vegas Has a new turnover prop It is a slot machine And it always wins Oh it's so awesome I saw it It was pretty lit Even though they're 0-6 Like going to the sideline After a turnover Touchdown And pulling levers Gotta be pretty lit Yeah Then have it go ka-ching all over the stadium. I like that.

That's my hot tea. It's very cool.
It's very cool. All right.
Let's get to our interview with Paul Bissonnette. All protein bars generally taste the same, but not one bars.
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Okay, we now welcome on our very good friend. It is Paul Bissonette.
He doesn't go by Bissonette anymore. What do I go by? Miss the net.
Yeah. No, wait.
You don't go by Biz Nasty, right? Yeah, I do. Well, I don't.
I mean, it was given to me when I was early age playing hockey, and I think it's a little bit douchey in your 30s where people are like, yo, what's up, Biz Nasty? And you're like 36 years old across the street. Yeah.
How did you get the nickname Biz Nasty? Because I feel like in hockey, it's very simple how you get the nicknames. It's either you add an O onto their name or you add like a KY onto whatever their name is.
Busy. But you got, yeah, you should have been busy, but you did something so nasty that even for a hockey player, it stood out and they gave you the nickname Biz Nasty.
It doesn't sound like you did it on the ice yeah i think that everybody's well aware who this is a spitting chiclets podcast of why i got my nickname yeah it had a lot to do with my early day antics in the american hockey league and it was given to me by a buddy named steven dixon oh what did you call him was he dicky dicky yeah dick dicko yeah i don't know dixie hey but from the last time i was here uh congratulations to billy football he graduated yeah full-time graduated everything he's what was it political economics yeah is that what it is gender studies is what he uh majored in i don't even know what that means it's dual major between political science and economics so it's a little multi-faceted hybrid if you have two majors you don't have one billy's gonna let's it combined basically billy's going to run the world one day he is the future through blogs yeah he is the future uh we we didn't congratulate you by the way mr tnt on wednesday nights you can find biz in some terrible looking suits all the worst suits ever ever uh what what what was the thought process there because you knew i i would imagine that tnt didn't ask you to come on like the day before you knew for what six months a year that you were going to be on national television and you still showed up in that suit no No, I would say I probably had about two and a half months notice and then finally found somebody that I could get suits off of and trusted and we're going back and forth and we're struggling. The good news is, is I had ones that I'd bought in about five years ago that have lasted me.
They fit me well. They're just a little bit beat up.
Uh, the blue one maybe is a little bit tough, but I think because i just got the new ones in and they didn't fit properly i'm gonna have to go back to the hockey night in canada on acid blue blazer that i had my my warm-up routine so i'm rotating three suits currently which is not good when you're on national tv every week yeah but that's also i'm listen the suit game is is very tough i only i've only had one blazer for a very long time.

It's tough.

It's tough to find a good fit and high quality,

even though you're paying the amount of money.

Have you thought about rocking the sweater vest?

Because I think personally that you need to outdo Wayne.

I think the way that you're going to alpha him on that set.

I don't think anyone's ever called him just Wayne.

Where would I get a nice sweater vest? This guy Wayne is on the show with you? What's his nickname? Gretzko? The great one. Gretzko.
I call him Wayno. Wayno.
Wayno. Yeah, I didn't know how that was going to...
How'd it go? I think he likes it. Winky.
Now, are you... Obviously, he had to have been a hero of yours, right? Yeah, I bought the Gretzky aluminum when I was growing up.
I mean, mind you, when he was damaging the league the way he was when he was shattering records I was still very very young right yeah you know I but still he's he's the he's the goat yes he's he's the greatest of all time I would say the the most at that time the most dominant athlete to their sport at that particular time so so when you first you had met him before but this is your first time working with him in like an extensive situation here so you're on tnt with him on wednesday nights is there any amount of you that's like starstruck do you have to get over that well i mean at first but he does such a good job of like calming everyone down he's just like a regular guy and and one thing he's unreal at is remembering all these old school stories and he can deliver them like they happened yesterday. I don't know how he remembers all these stories throughout the years, some of which he shares on air, some of which are more behind the scenes.
But I hope that there's going to become the right time where he can eventually tell a bunch of these things on air. Because you're just left in awe.
So he befriended me pretty quick. He FaceTimed meed me after we did our practice round we went there a couple weeks ago and then like all that weekend like we was keeping in contact through tech so i was like i felt really i felt like the man that's pretty emojis he's not an emoji guy guy does he does he emphasize what is emphasize like when you get do you have an iphone i have an iphone so.
So when you get like the thumbs up or you get like the heart that comes off of a message? Yeah, he might be an emphasizinger. Yeah? Yeah, come to think of it.
You mean like when you hold on to the script and you get to put something? Yeah, either him or his son Ty who's helping out with us. Oh, so he's kind of the go-between? Used to be in the Cubs organization.
No, Trevor was. Trevor was drafted as a baseball player.
He does some acting now. He was actually just in that recent – they did a reboot of the Saws.
And who's the one guy? Oh, God, I'm drawing a blank. Willem Dafoe.
I think Chris Rock was in it. Is that true? Google it.
Do something, Hank, for

fuck's sakes. Paul, how

many goals do you think you would have scored if you

played in Wayne Gretzky's era? More or less than

Gretzky did? More, because everybody

was boozing and having a good time

off the ice, so I felt like it was an

even keel process

where everyone was kind of in agreement, hey, we're going to get

banged up after every single game.

We're going to have a boatload

of fun. The only thing that changed, though,

is the amount that guys were making.

I think it... where everyone was kind of in agreement, hey, we're going to get banged up after every single game.
We're going to have a boatload of fun. The only thing that changed, though, was the amount that guys were making.
It became more serious because salaries started becoming crazier and crazier. Back in the 80s, if you were making a good contract, you were making like $100,000.
It's crazy. Who else is on the show? Rick Talkett, who actually played a little bit with Wayne,

and then he helped coach with him as well.

So Talkett won a Stanley Cup with the Pittsburgh Penguins with Mario.

I believe after that, at some point, he got shipped off to L.A.

where he played with them.

So he's coached the last couple years with the Arizona Coyotes.

He won two Stanley Cups as an assistant in Pittsburgh.

He was a head coach in Tampa at some point. So he's just been around the game forever and has a lot of insight and things to talk about.
Anson Carter is another guy who had a great career, played with the Sedins. And then Liam McKeown.
Not allowed to call them the Sedin sisters. I would never do that.
No one has ever done that. Who made that mistake? Jamie Benn? I want to say, or was it second? I can't remember.
Somebody on radio said it and the internet blew up. You got to be careful what you say in hockey because the, the, the media tends to lean very much towards the left.
So you don't want to overstep your boundaries because they will make you pay. Well, what about this? If you had to rank any of your co-hosts on TNT that you had to.

Oh, was it Dave Boland? Yeah, I remember.

Yeah, he did it on the radio.

Well, my apologies.

I'll take back the Ben in a second.

I thought it was someone from Dallas.

So who would you have a threesome with on this set?

Like between all of us?

No, no, like Gretzky.

You know what?

I'm going to step in and not even let you answer that question

because I don't want the hockey media. Did you guys see Charles there, that first one? Yeah, I did.
That was great. How come you didn't get a chance to shoot on Charles? Because they wanted Wayne to.
They wanted the greats going against the greats. I did like your analysis, though.
When they had a question for you about the power play and what you would have done in this position, you were just like, I don't know. I would have been on i i can't contribute in this area that's just me keeping my credibility exactly where it needs yeah you're honest i actually do think that has how many times have people at turner been like you're going to be the charles barkley of hockey they don't say anything they don't that's like the the beauty of it there they say hey bring what you normally bring and and and you throw it all together and we'll see what what works so i mean yeah i i tend to try to bring it a little bit more lighthearted because I don't, hey, bring what you normally bring and throw it all together and we'll see what works.

So, I mean, yeah, I tend to try to bring it a little bit more lighthearted because I don't necessarily have the credibility that the other guys on the panel do. I think Anson played 10 years, maybe a little bit above that.
I mean, Tockett had the career that he's had. He's actually getting inducted into the Philadelphia Flyers Hall of Fame, like that ring of honor there.
So I don't know if he's eventually going to be a Hall of Famer, but he actually set the NHL record for – we got Wayne with all the records that he's got, and Talkit's got one record, most Gordie Howe hat-tricks. Oh! Yeah, which is cool.
He's got 18 of them where he got a goal and an assist and a fight in the same game. So Talkit played for the Flyers during that era where they had six heavyweights on the team and nobody fucked around.
Broad Street Bullies. He told us a story of where I think it was the Rangers called up Dale Purrington and he was kind of, you know, he's getting all amped up and warm up, kind of trying to send the message across the, you know, you skate close to the red line and stuff.
And they had Craig Berube on their their team and after a couple shifts of him running around he went up to brian leach and he starts stretching on their bench like stretching his hamstring he goes leach he goes he goes i'll fight him but i'm gonna jump you unless you tell him to calm down and then leach he went down the bench he's like hey dale i think you're done running around because he was because berube was nothing he was he was no joke man he would fucking go toe to toe and his talk said he goes if i was ever in a bar fight if there was one guy i'd want who just when the wires cross i don't think i'd ever see him lose a fight it's craig berube so he basically bullied the the st louis blues into winning a stanley cup if that's uh if i could take it there um so you went out to dinner with uh chuck and gretzky i was out yeah i was out for them. How was that? It was great, man.
I was picking Chuck's brain on just how he felt coming inside the NBA when he did and what we should come to expect. What if the game's a little bit boring? And he's like, man, honestly, just be honest about it.
Maybe turn on another game and start gambling on it. Not seriously, but he he definitely calmed things down and then when we had him on after our first segment to open the show just his humor and the fact that he'd been there and done that I think it really eased up everybody else where we were able to you know I thought we execute a pretty good first show so we're trying to we're trying to figure it out we're trying to be as entertaining as what people want and elevate the game so just having him you know not only be there but also talk to us the night before was was nice and he actually is he is a hockey fan he's a huge i think he's a blackhawks fan isn't he i think he hops around okay i think he's on the bieber plan where they just whoever's whatever arenas he's in he's put the jersey on i remember i've seen him at a couple hawks that's why I thought.
But, yeah, okay, that's not, I mean, that's a good plan to be on if you're not a diehard hockey fan. What was his order at dinner? Ooh, good question.
Charles Barkley. Wait, let me guess.
What do you think, Biket, what do you think Charles Barkley got? I think he got the biggest steak out there. Yeah, steak, mashed potatoes.
Oh, no. Did he get chicken at his steakhouse? No, he got a burger without the bun.
What? Can we watch his weight? What do you mean? I respect the order. He's watching himself.
Chuck strikes me, and this is speaking from experience. Are you trying to anti-fat shame here? No, no.
What I'm saying is Chuck strikes me as, again, speaking from experience, as a guy who orders a burger without a bun when you're out with company and then goes home and crushes a bunch of ice cream.

Because you don't want to seem like the fat guy

in front of other people,

but then when you get home in the comfort of your own home...

I think he looks good.

I mean, he's golfing a lot.

He looks good.

Yeah.

I mean, when I'm that age,

I'll probably have a couple of LBs on me.

Yeah, maybe...

Nah, you're a beast, bro.

I like to think what he's doing is

he's going out getting the burger without the bun

so that he can have all those cocktails and beers with dinner. You've got to push and pull sometimes, right? So it's like, yeah, if I get no bun on this burger, then I can have three more whiskey sours.
That's another way of looking at it. You've got a calorie count when you're that age.
Yes. All right, let's talk some hockey.
Let's talk about this season. The Coyotes stink.
Coyotes are not looking good. They're in full tank mode for Shane Wright, who's an up-and-comer.
Every so often you get a guy who's going to be a generational player, and they're thinking that this Shane Wright kid is the real deal. He played as a double underager in the OHL.
What does that mean? So I was drafted in the first two rounds of my OHL draft when I was 16 years old.

That made me eligible so I could play as a 16-year-old.

This kid was so special that they were like,

hey, he shouldn't even wait another year to be drafted to play against kids from 16 to 20

because he's just going to light these kids up in junior B or wherever he is.

So we need him going up and playing the highest level of possible hockey in Canada

at the age of 15.

And I think he led his team in scoring.

So he was 15 playing against 20-year-olds.

Yeah, and then that second year when he was an underage,

he was a captain of the team.

He's the real deal.

It seems he can handle the pressure.

Every year he's coming back. He's basically on the trajectory where he would be like a similar to like a crosby you never know if they're going to eventually live up to that because uh so connor mcdavid was another kid who was a double underager and he's the he's the he's the next guy who in the ohl has has been a double underage so the pressure's on right and you don't know how some some of these guys are going amount to it, if it's going to affect them, but he is just so hyper-focused on it and he's doing an incredible job.
That's where they're going. You've got to get worse before you get better, and especially in the NHL.
Coyotes have always been – I think the best they've ever drafted is third. You need to get those generational players to start somewhere.
Pittsburgh got it. Washington got it with Ovechkin.
Blackhawks, Kane and Taves. Yeah.
Taves was a third overall pick. I want to say Kane was first.
Yeah. Yeah.
They were fortunate. Because even that third overall pick sometimes, it doesn't end up panning out.
It's dicey. It's very dicey.
And not to take it in any way from Dylan Strome, but Dylan Strome was a third overall pick for the Coyotes. Kyle Turris, I believe, was a third overall pick for the Coyotes.
So I'm really hoping, and it sucks that a team has to go through a year where they're going to lose as much as they're probably going to lose, but for the betterment of the organization, tank for Shane Wright.

Okay.

So what's his game like?

Shano.

Is he a Shano?

We got to give him a nickname right now.

Or Wrightski.

Wrightski or Shano?

I like Shano.

Shaneski?

Whatever the fuck you guys want.

You guys are the nickname guys.

I don't give a shit.

Righto.

Shane Nasty?

Shane Nasty.

Shane Nasty.

We got it, boys.

We got it.

Yeah.

What's his game like?

He's going to have to fuck a donkey like you did in AHL.

Thank you. Shane Nasty? Shane Nasty.
Shane Nasty. We got it, boys.
We got it. Yeah, what's his game like? He's going to have to fuck a donkey like you did in AHL.
What? To get Shane Nasty. You fucking sandbagging son of a bitch.
One donkey? Just one? Yeah, you got to slay a few. You went to that barn.
Yeah, got to slay a few. What is the term? You got to slay a few dragons to get to the princess?

Got to kiss a few frogs to get your prince.

Just so people know.

Yeah.

I was actually talking about literal donkey.

Yeah.

You got to have that kiddo double a few frogs in order to get to the.

All of a sudden, Billy's like, that's not so bad.

Yeah.

Billy fucks frogs.

Did you know that? Oh, you're a frog fucker?

Yeah.

For real.

Like, actually.

You'd fit right into the A.

Can you fight?

Yeah.

No.

War mode. I'm determined.

War mode.

Oh, no.

Yeah, you fucking built.

I don't even know if we've talked since you beat up Jose.

Jose?

Jose?

Yeah.

Jose?

He knocked him out.

How did that all work out?

Did you end up making some pretty good coin on that?

We did.

We did end up.

We did talk.

After that?

Yeah.

We were at the Whitney's time.

CT works. What are we on to next? All did.
We did end up. We did talk.
After that? Yeah. CT works.

What are we on to next?

All right.

So Shane Nasty.

That'll be sick.

The Sabres are the best team in the NHL right now.

We're only one week in.

That's not going to happen.

No, we didn't expect that.

The whole team's on deals for $750K.

But I'll tell you what.

An awesome fan base that deserves something to cheer about.

But I think that they're going to end up right at the bottom of the basement with the Coyotes. Are they going to trade Jack Eichel? They're trying.
I don't know how many people who listen to your podcast are kind of all up on the hockey drama. Give it to us.
Tell us. So he's dealing with a herniated disc in his neck, right? And fusion surgery has been one that they've relied on to fix what he's going through in the past now that fusion surgery you don't always know what you're going to get where a lot of guys end up having to keep like re-getting the surgery i want to say that tiger woods did it on his back and then time over time has continued to have to get fusion surgery because you want to be well there there's there's a new surgery where i want to say it's a four-month recovery where they do like a disc replacement and i know it's like it sounds terrible yeah all the i guess the issue that the organization's having with it is that it's never been done on a hockey player and and and so they have nothing to base it off of where the where the fusion surgery has so they want him to get that fusion surgery and they have final say because they're paying his salary where you're allowed to get a second opinion in the NHL.
Oftentimes, there's not much bickering back and forth because you're talking maybe about like a broken ankle or something that's not as severe as like a herniated disc in your neck. And they're in a battle right now because he wants to get this disc replacement surgery as opposed to the fusion.
i don't know if it's the organization being poopy pants about the fact that he's been there i don't know exactly but he's been there enough time and done enough good things and played well enough where he's probably like a you guys aren't fixing this problem anytime soon our team is shit we're gonna finish in the bottom five year after year after year and i'm miserable i want to go play on a good team where things are a little easier where i'm gonna win and i don't know what would be a good example in the football realm to compare it to but they're they're at a standstill it seems like it's eking towards that that they're gonna end up trading them but other teams are now a little weary of being like okay well we want we want to be incentivized where if he does end up getting surgery and he doesn't play that many games and it's maybe a career ender or he's just never the same. Well, if we gave you four unbelievable assets for this guy that we thought, so there's risk involved now.
So it's just, it's a very sticky situation and it sucks because it's an Olympic year and this guy is a very special player for Team USA. And there's something about representing your country in the Olympics that hockey players, that's a lot of what they care about.
And I think it's eating them alive, and I just hope the situation gets resolved. And the longer it gets backed up, it's probably not going to look like he's going to play in the Olympics.
I know I've been long-winded about this, but it's a shitty, shitty situation. What's the recovery time like on the Fusion I think I think that the Fusion is surprisingly and don't quote me on this I think you can come back a little bit sooner like a weekend but this is something that you're probably going to have to keep getting when you're retired and that's what's not sitting well with me as just somebody from the outside looking in where it's like well well, if a fan wants to be frustrated because he's not taking the team's advice, it's like, well, I get that they paid him a big contract that's going to last for eight years at $10 million a year, but I also don't think this guy should be forced to making a commitment that's going to last him to make a decision for the rest of his life as far as his health is concerned.
It sounds like NBA players, when they have the knee surgery and it's like they could get the long surgery or they get it cleaned up knowing that eventually, like Dwayne Wade, his knees are like bone on bone because he always went with the shorter version of the surgery and getting him back on the court as quickly as possible. And I think as an athlete sometimes, I played on a torn ACL,l right and then i end up tearing my other one deal no i'm tough hey tommy tough guy over here biz forgets to tell the part that he's too dumb to realize he had a torn acl yeah that's the yeah but but i always i would imagine duane wade's all right and he's gonna have enough people to give him proper therapy given what he made and he it up and played through it.
I think that there's definitely a lot of respect in that situation, but who knows? Maybe he would have regrets with it when he's 50, being like, oh, my goodness, I didn't know that a decision I was making then was going to cause me so much pain going on for the rest of my life. Yeah, those are real life implications.
Those are just the athlete side of it, and some people would be like, oh, he made fucking $250 million. Who cares? It's just Ah, well, OK.
Well, that's a very walking. Yeah.
Walking is nice. It still tells you like no matter how much money you make when you get out of bed in the morning and your knee sucks and you can't bend it like there's nothing they can do to fix that.
The money is not going to fix that. No.
Yeah. No.
I mean, there's a reason why people talk about health being like number one over money over anything. You know what I mean? Like, you know, being able to walk, being able to be mobile, being able to have, you know, a life that you enjoy.
Yeah. We went really serious there.
And we only got through the Sabres. Do you want to talk about any of the good teams? Yeah, well, let's talk about the Maple Leafs.
Well, the Sabres are winning right now. Let's talk about the Leafs, though, because the Leafs, it was another year of the same old for the Leafs last year.
Big expectations. And, I mean, we pay real close attention to hockey in the offseason, so we know all the things that they've done to try to improve that team, to try to turn things around.
Maybe our listeners, one or two of them, might not know. So maybe you could tell us, even though we already know, and our listeners could also find out, what have the Maple Leafs done differently to change the trajectory of that franchise, me organization it's it's hard because when they made that strong financial commitment to those four players uh john taveras uh i think william nylander is probably actually even better than what he's making most important player um he signed a deal where i think he makes around seven maybe just over seven which he's actually in opinion, based on last year's playoff performance and what he did last year and what he's going to do, I think he's right at that fair number.
It's just hard, these young guys in the NHL, because the league is getting so young, when you're that special in your entry-level contract, they seem to at least have, in that case, the team by the ball. So Marner and Matthews ended up getting just over $11 close to 11 and a half what's the cap at right now and then with covid in that situation it stalled the cap so the cap's at 82.5 million that's insane so they they have i think i want to say they have 40 40 to 45 percent of their money invested into four players and in hockey it's just hard if you're not snapping the money around it's just hard to win and rely on those types of players so you have to find cheap replacements in order to win which I think that they found a couple good players in that bunting and then Richie who was actually in Boston and they're getting tried out on the top lines there so if they can have those guys scoring 20-25 goals at you know making what they make that's going to you to get them hopefully over the edge to where they at least make a little run and get some experience.
They have a solid back end. They have a decent tandem in net.
But it's really going to rely on these guys when they get to playoff without having shown that experience because every time they really seem to just not be able to do it. And in this last year they just flat out choked so you and i think the pressure is mounting on the fact that they're making so much money and you more so i believe mitch marner but i'm confident that they're going to be able to to get over that edge this year and you didn't get circumcised but this year you're going to cut off your dick if they don't make the playoffs if they don't make the the playoffs, I've doubled down on my foreskin challenge where I'm going to double down.
You could chop my whole cock off and keep it if that fucking team can't make playoffs. Who gets to keep it? We should just put it in a jar on the shelf in here.
Done. Yep.
Done. Like one of those.
Hey, you see that over there? That's a business. Hey, we should start a tequila.
Yeah. Yeah.
That's like the worm at the bottom. Foreskin is the worm? Yeah.
That's not a bad idea. Calamari tequila.
Do you think that would sound like Pink Whitney? Pink Nasty. Yeah.
That's a great name for it. Just like a tiny bit of foreskin at the bottom of the bottle.
Blue ball tequila. Yeah.
Pink Whitney's crushing it still. Pink Whitney's doing well.
So I know we got on the Toronto talk. There was another team that you mentioned in there.
I'm curious to know, in the case of the Maple Leafs, since they've choked so much in the playoffs, what do you do if you've got the same nucleus of players coming back and they've shown that they're going to be chokers? What do you do? You're a glue guy. You probably had all the unorthodox ideas about, like, let's go out and get into a fight.
Let's do something a little bit different. Make the blood start pumping a little heavier.
They're going through something similar to what Washington did, where they had that strong core early on, but they had to just figure out and move some pieces, right? Mike Green was their defenseman when you probably started cheering for them when you were wearing your Jankos. That's not true.
I started cheering for him back when they had Chris Simon. Well, yeah.
Bonsai. Yeah, when he was sloshing guys in the head.
All those guys. No, before he did that.
Oh, before? I think he was – Disavowed. Yeah, I disavowed him before he did that.
I just knew he was going to. But, no, like, yeah, Mike Green was a guy that he was great for the regular season where he'd score a bunch of goals defensively.
And in the playoffs, it's like you're going to need somebody that can actually put the clamps on the other team's best score if he's going to be your star defender. Here's how I'd summarize it.
Remember those years where Boston hadn't won for so long and all of a sudden they were down, I think, 3-0 to the Yankees? Oh, yeah. And they ended up coming back in that series, and that's what propelled them to eventually winning that title.
And now they got over the hump, so now they're good as of late. Toronto needs that moment.
They're going to have to seize that moment whenever it comes. I thought it was going to be them getting over Montreal with the fact that it even went to seven, but here we are.
I hope that they can because there's so much fucking pressure on those kids in that city. Yeah.
They haven't won in a very long time. That's like being a Yankee and making all the money and dealing with the constant pressure.

Earning your pinstripes.

The league has caught up to the Maple Leafs at this point.

Yes.

Aaron Boone's words.

Biz, you think Sidney Crosby is going to be traded to the Colorado Avalanche?

No, I don't actually think that.

The most Southern team in the NHL? The Colorado Southern thing is still up for debate. Sean, what was the point you made about...
We were talking before we started recording, and he was like, it's more Southern than Tennessee. And I'm like, no, no, it's not.
It's also, again, it's Mountain West. That's how you would describe it.
It's in the mountains. Fair.
It's neither North nor South. I'm willing to see, but I don't think it's the stupidest thing ever said on this podcast it got blown way out of proportion I've been getting memed to death over it Mehmed but Crosby to the to the south I thought that maybe the fact that the penguins were maybe tailing off a little bit, they'd consider it.
I don't think that they would ever do it because Mario has came out and said that they'll probably never move him, and usually when he says that, that's probably going to be the case. I was just getting more in fantasy the fact that it would have been cool if him and Nate McKinnon would have collabed and got together and played on the same team.
What's up with the Avalanche? Because that was another team last year. It felt like they were going to roll through the playoffs, and then they hit one bump in the road, and it was just over like that.
That just shows the parody in the NHL and how you've got to be clicking at the right time when playoffs times come around. And, yeah, they ran into the Vegas Golden Knights, who they shut down that top line.
I thought their defense let them down a little bit, and maybe Grubauer wasn't the guy in net. So Grubauer wanted a big contract this offseason.
They moved on. They actually ended up picking up Darcy Kemper from the Arizona Coyotes, who I believe is going to probably be an Olympian this year, and he's one of the best goalies in the league.
So like I said with Toronto, they moved a few pieces to see, Hey, is this the way that the puzzle is going to fit now? Got it. What about Seattle? The Kraken.
Are we believers in the Kraken now? I like their jerseys. Their jerseys are sick.
You know what I really liked about the Kraken is night one, they came out there, they scrapped. It's like, yeah, we're going to fight.
We're going to establish ourselves as being like, there's some Kraken pride. Also, I know that you have to be.
Oh, you're talking about the fan? Did you see the fan fight? Yeah, the fan got in the fight too. That was in Nashville, so that was a couple games into the season.
But like how could you be fighting over a team that you've been rooting for for one month? That's what I love about it. It's like they know that the weight of the future of their franchise is on them and they have to set a tone right off the bat.
They're establishing a culture. Also, I don't want to tell.
I know you work for for the nhl so i'm not trying to bash the nhl in any way but it was a very mlb type move in the worst sense to have opening night the kraken not at home i tuned in i was like can't wait to see seattle oh the kraken are in las vegas oh i think either way it doesn't matter i mean that was show that Vegas puts on? It would have been nice. I thought about this too.
They get a second pop though. There you go.
They're going to tune in for opening night. Thank you, Hank.
In like a week. When is their opening night? The brains behind the podcast speaks.
All right. I literally tuned in being like, I can't wait to see it.
This is what opening day of baseball is. Fucking 20 milligrams Cialis and then day two is like, can't get it up.
So you think we're going to get 20 milligrams Cialis when we open up the Kraken's new place? 100%. Crackhead tilts in the crowd.
I bet you no way fans even consider going there now because they're coming and swinging. Hostile territory.
Well, we know that in Seattle it's a mutual combat state. You can elect to fight somebody, and as long as they agree to fist fight you, no weapons it's not illegal yeah they have a they have a an octagon on the concourse yes yeah you can just sign up for and that's show you go to the bar you ride the bull that's how they do it with the crack are they actually going to be good though i think they're going to be competitive they got a bunch of like crafty hockey players so they're they because of the rules that they set up in place and i was talking to someone recently recently about this when Atlanta ended up getting a team.
Well, they didn't really set them up for success where people were probably like, okay, well, they're losing off the hop, and they're really never able to get their... What about Danny Heatley? Yeah, they were able to get a few of those generational-type players.
They ended up getting Kovalchuk. I believe Marion Hossa was there for a little bit, but they weren't able to assemble a good team with the way that they've structured it and you saw with the golden knights they were competitive in that first year that that teams have to give up that you know really solid third line player and guys who maybe never got out the opportunity on these good teams because their top six were so good where maybe if they were given a little bit more time and a little bit more power play time they would be able to to contribute and put up points very similar to what other teams on and the top six can do and and i think that they they did this they got hit by the covid bug early on so i personally don't think that they're going to make playoffs even though they're in the weakest division in the nhl i think that they're they're going to be a cusp team but then they're going to be able to ditch some assets at the deadline in order to acquire more.
And I think that they're going to be a very good team with a very, very solid foundation as far as the fan base. They did a really good job with the jerseys and the color scheme.
I love it. I think it's awesome.
I can't wait to watch the first night. They crushed it, all the social, everything.
Saturday night against Vancouver. There we go.
Border battle up there. Border battle.

A weird thing that I didn't even realize until yesterday

and I'd love for you to

explain to me what's going on with the Islanders.

They are starting the season

with 18 road games.

13 road games.

Can you look that up?

Marty Mush told me 18 so maybe it's not right.

I just want a clarification. 13? I want to keep this guy in his pose.
You probably are right. 13? 13.
Sorry. 13 road games.
Marty Mush, thank you, you fucking loser. He said 18.
13 road games. That's crazy, though.
That is. That's insane.
Yeah, a lot of rubbers on the road. What? You've got to pack a lot of rubbers for the road.
Yeah, that's true. That's a fact.
Is that just like a communal? You have a fishbowl? Yeah. It's like the Olympics where they kind of just put them in the village and they're done after two days.
What point, though, is the road trip? That's got to wear on them by game seven. Yeah, because you're basically on the road for a solid, I would say, month.
But much rather start it out on the road, knowing that you have all those back-end at-home games, than do it all. But, yeah, I'd imagine the boys are a little rattled by that.
But they get to come back and play in their new building, which looks awesome. And they're going to have a brand-new setup, and I'm sure they're going to be thrilled about that.
And I'll tell you what, they have not had a good start to the season but this is a very, very good team. So maybe buy them maybe if they lose a little bit more at the start of the season buy the stock then.
I think they were 17-1 to start the year and I mean you might have got them at like 18 or 19-1 now because they lost the first games. Maybe.
I don't know. Does it change that quickly? They don't play at home until November 20th.
Yeah. So, it's over a month on the road.
They're finishing the construction on their new barn. A lot of rubbers.
New barn. What about the Rangers? Did they actually fix the problems that they had? Because I saw they had, what, Reeves, right? They were playing a little bit of tummy sticks there in the first game.
I thought Reevo was going to come out, and then they had Ovi mic'd up, and they were like, hey, how's your summer going, pal? Ha-ha. By the way, how about that first game by Ovi? Pretty good.
Rumors of his demise were inaccurately reported. Those were premature.
Ovi's back. Because he can stay in his office and score goals for the next five years.
I think he's going to pass Wayne Gretzky. I do.
Because if the league hasn't figured out how to stop that shot after how many years he's been in there, what, 17 years, 16 years? He can continue to do that for five years, right? What'd you make of his mass mutual commercial? I haven't seen that one yet. You haven't seen it? Oh, that's the one where he's in his house or whatever? Yeah, with his wife and Backstrom.

Yeah, I love it.

I love it.

Ovi can sell me anything.

I'll buy it from him.

But yeah, that first game against the Rangers,

I thought that the Rangers are trying to remake their image a little bit

after Tom Wilson essentially destroyed the franchise last year.

He flexed on them.

Single-handedly made everybody quit.

They had to issue another one of those apology statements that the Rangersangers have gotten so good at but then they fired popcorn vendors over it yeah exactly fired basically the entire front office kind of cleaned house a little bit now they've got they brought in reeves to try to be like hey we're not we're not gonna get pushed around anymore um but i i felt like opening night was the that was the time to come out and send a message like hey this is a different Rangers team than the one that you saw last year. And they didn't do it at all.
No, tummy sticks. It was flat, tummy sticks, exactly.
I thought they played solid in that first period, but just far too many mistakes. So the knock on the Rangers is they're like riverboat gamblers.
They tend to open up the middle of the ice too much in order to try to create offense. I like that.
You'll see it's hey you're gonna have you're gonna see six five games five four games and it's entertaining but it's a little bit difficult to win and that's why you saw trots and the success he brought washington when he said guys you can play like this and you could put up these crazy numbers till the end of time but i don't know if you're gonna bring home any hardware and then he had them buy into that president Cup. Yeah, where it's like I want to take that risk offensively, but it's probably not the right time right now.
And I think that Gerard Gallant will help them out eventually and they'll figure out the way. They still got a lot of young guys in that lineup too.
So if they can start figuring it out and make contributions, I've been bullish on the Rangers. I said that they're going to make playoffs.
I said that Washington's not. I'm looking like a fucking idiot right now because Washington looked really good in that first game.
But I'm still confident in this Rangers squad. What about the Lightning? How are the Lightning cheating this year? They're not.
They just had to replenish that bottom six. Yeah, they're not.
Everybody was all poopy pants about the long-term IR situation. Yeah, it was poopy pants.
I guess it's a way around it, just like it is the state. I consider the state tax thing the way to get around signing guys cheaper.
So they kind of had the best of both worlds. But, hey, if you can manipulate the rules, man.
I mean, that's how the Patriots won seven titles. Or did they win six? It helps when your quarterback is is married to like a billionaire essentially so that way your income check doesn't really make that much of a difference so you can keep restructuring it do the lightning have anybody that's married to like a supermodel is giselle a billionaire yeah she makes way more than he does still uh how she's international yeah she's high number one football is just an american sport if you're beautiful enough people just pay you it's like thank you for everything thank you for being here how much do you make from that most of my paycheck from the knees down did you you work out with Gretzky now so we do we stay at the I stay at the.
I don't want to stay at the hotel, actually. Sorry.
No, say it. I don't want to fucking.
Actually, that's one story. So we finished our first time at TNC last week.
And Charles recommended we go to this pub afterward. Because you can't go to sleep right after that.
You're all wound up for six hours doing live TV. And we leave at like around 3.10 after it closed.
And there was four seekers there waiting to get wayne autographs really it never fucking ends man this guy can't get away from anything so like there's seekers outside the hotel and i feel bad for the guy he can't go anywhere and just like not have to worry about people being around asking for shit you gotta be his muscle you gotta be like the charles oakley to michael jordan you gotta start cracking a few so i would always sign everything for anybody who asked because i always knew there would be a day where nobody would be asking for it and i just didn't have that many people asking right so in a circumstance like that i'm sure some people are like oh he didn't sign for me but it's like fuck man imagine going everywhere and always having shit do this do that did he sign he he's he always you could tell he gets like he's okay and he does it. He does it.
And although they're putting him in an unfair situation because like most of them are just selling it to make money. Yeah, right.
It's not if it's kids. They're like 50-year-old dudes and they're like, hey, sign six of these numbers.
Right. And they're just put on a fake jersey and sell for.
Dave gets that now. Oh, does he? We'll come out of a hotel and they'll have like Michigan mini helmets and Patriot mini helmets, and they'll be like, hey, Dave, can you sign this? Big fan.
He's like, you're clearly just going to sell this. And he still does it? I think he's made a rule that if he can tell that you're not actually a fan, he won't sign it, which I think is fair.
Yeah. Because you're just doing it to profit.
If you got six of those ice cream cream helmets that you sign and you keep as antiques. If once or twice you step in between one of these guys and Wayne and be like, hey, buddy, not today, and maybe crack one of them in the nose, send a message, I think at that point Gretzky's like, Biz Nasty's my guy.
The whole chemistry on set was genius. Job for life.
do what I did playing hockey. Right.
Yes, you're the enforcer. Off the ice.
They brought you in to protect Wayne Gretzky. Correct.
What if I get fired for assaulting someone? I don't think that they'll let that happen. No, that doesn't happen.
It's hockey. If I do, can I come back and be? No, Gretzky will bail you out.
That's part of the deal. Poly hockey? Yeah.
Instead of Billy football? Poly hockey? Yeah, poly hockey. I like that like that.
So how are you managing all the new workloads? So you're doing six hours of TV and still two podcasts a week? They actually got me a green velvet couch in their office, so I just kind of take dirt naps in between periods. Yeah, you must be absolutely exhausted.
Or during periods. That's why if I don't know what I'm saying when the cameras roll, it's because I was taking a little nap while the play was going on.

Do you know about

the parallax effect?

No.

We saw that in the Islanders game.

There was a goal

where the puck crossed the line

from a certain angle

and you could see the ice.

But you know about

the parallax effect

where if the camera

goes over top of it,

it shows you it's not actually in the net.

It's the number one

most noted effect

on part of my team.

Yeah, but if you post

a picture of it though

that you get the conspiracy theories and it creates engagement. Yeah, but you gotta be the parallax explainer.
I don't think... That would be great to...
I don't even know what the word meant, so maybe they could find somebody else to do that. Biz Nasty Science Corner.
So I don't know how many... Well, I guess the Lightning were affected by this in a good way, but the Calgary Flames fans listening, probably the worst one ever was when they should have won it at home.
I think it might have been Martin Gilina, and it hit the point where the goalie's pad is indents by the toe, and people were confused by that, and they're still convinced to this day that they scored and won that Stanley Cup in Game 6. They did.
That was a goal. You think that one was? I think it was.
I kind of think so too, but I don't want to be the conspiracy theory guy, so I was just going to give it a coin toss to whoever's listening. But Martin St.
Louis ended up scoring a little later in that overtime, and then they went off and won it in game seven. So the Calgary Flames were fucked by the Paraplex? Yeah, Paraplex.
Parallax. Parallax.
Parallax angles. It essentially says if there's space that's over top of the line, that's where you see the white ice come through on the other end.
But if you were looking directly down above it, you could see it's on the line still. Calgary has the shiny ice.
Same with Edmonton. Why is their ice so shiny? Edmonton has the light brightest ice of all time i think it's because of the tv lights that they have in the in the building got it every time i watch a game in edmonton i'm like damn that's yeah it's very shiny ass it's shiny ass also really sad to see duncan keith is on the edmonton oilers now he got smoked the other night by tyler i saw that that's the way that's when it like registered to me oh yeah he's not the Hawks anymore, when he got smoked.
And I was like, damn. He got fucked up.
Hawks are another team that have not looked so good at it. No.
Going kind of, you know, pump it, revitalizing everything with Seth Jones and trying to... I thought they were the most improved team over the offseason with the acquisitions.
Tyler Johnson, Stanley Cup champion. Kirby Dock spent most of the team injured, so it's

basically like getting a new guy in the lineup back for the

full season. They said that Kane

was a little bit banged up all last

year, and then the obvious

ones, Taves took the whole year off, he's

back, you got Seth Jones, and then Fleury.

So, you gotta think that they're

gonna figure it out at some point and take a crack

at playoffs. I think five teams

from that central division, given the strength of it, get in, and I think the Hawks are back in the playoff picture. And if they're not, I guess off with Stan Bowman's head? Is that kind of the...
Yeah. I take all my Hawks direction from Chief, who is, in my estimation, the best Hawks writer, podcaster in Chicago.
So he tells me, and it's off with Stan's head

if they don't make the playoffs again this year.

It's a very weird spot, though, because the Blackhawks,

you feel like you're wasting Kane and Tay's,

but you also won three cups with them.

So it's like what...

Well, it goes back to if your time's over,

now's the time to, if you can.

I'm not sure if they have no move clause. I'm sure they do.
But hey, do you want to go to a winning team? Make things a little bit easier towards the end. But the problem that they're having is they each make $10 million.
Their salary cap hit. And there's been a strong debate because actually the Toronto Maple Leafs had to play with another goalie that was just like a beer league type goalie the other day because they're in some cap trouble so people are now saying should there be a soft cap in the national hockey league yeah i don't know why the cap never goes up i feel like it's been stuck in that like 75 to like 85 range for 10 years it's crawling up it's crawling and i remember when they installed it when they signed those deals and then the cap didn't go up it was like uh-oh like what are they gonna do now because the fucking the loon the loony the loony didn't go up they're fucked just like the leafs is that what it is the loony the loony affects the the the the h hrr oh fuck here we go uh Yeah, hockey-related revenue.
How about that one off the top of my dome? Keep the change. I like it.
So that all factors into what the players end up paying in escrow and eventually what the salary cap goes up to. So I remember when I was playing, I think one year escrow, we ended up paying 18% because the loony got crushed.
And a lot of what they anticipated was revenue coming into these Canadian teams. And, like, a lot of them weren't competitive and not making playoffs.
So, ultimately, you know, you see 40% tax, tack on another 18% escrow, and then 3% to your agent. You're not even, you're seeing, like, you know, 35% of your money.
It's all said and done. So what is the soft cap? Soft cap would basically, I think the baseball has a soft cap.
Right, where if you go over a certain amount, you have to pay a luxury tax. Pay a luxury tax.
But it makes it so the teams can potentially spend more. Yeah.
If you have a rich owner that doesn't mind spending, if this is like his passion. I think it's ridiculous the fact that because of all that stuff that some teams got jammed up where they can't even keep the players that they drafted and developed.
Yeah, I get going to buy all these free agents from other places like the Yankees normally do. That seems to be a Yankee trait.
I don't know who else in baseball follows that. But I think that in that case, maybe they can eliminate that or penalize that more.
I just feel that if you're drafting and developing players and then you're being punished for it because you were bad for so long and now you've got the guys, it's like, oh, fuck, I can't even keep them all to keep a good team for at least a couple years because I can't afford them because the league's cap isn't going up. Yeah.
Seems a little bit contradictory. I agree.
I agree. Because then maybe when those small markets, when the time did come around, they could say, fuck could say fuck fine yeah we are going to pay those guys and we can't establish ourselves as a hockey city yeah no i i agree the cap it does feel like it's been stuck for a very long time and it's you're right it's crawling up the maple leaves and the blackhawks are very similar where you have two three four guys that are half of your cap it's pretty tough to have like depth.
And it's pretty tough to put together a team. And if you get stuck with a long contract that you signed where someone's making seven mil and he's not good anymore, it's tough.
I had one last question. Hockey is on.
And no matter the city, no matter the team, no matter the game, whether it's face-off or penalty shots, regular season or playoffs, win or lose, no matter what happens, no matter where it happens, New Amsterdam Vodka is there. Biz, was Whitney kind of jealous that you got the TNT job and he didn't? No.
No, he doesn't give a shit. Really? I don't think he gives a shit.
He's been a supporter for Whispers. He just wants you to get better at golf.
Yeah, he told me he was kind of mad about it. I was surprised that he didn't get the call to do it.
I think that he's the more entertaining one on the podcast. I think he's more articulate.
Oh, that was really nice of you. What about RA? Oh, wow.
Is RA jealous that you got in and he didn't? Well, going back to what I just said, I just think it's tough because Witt's got a lot of credibility because he played in the NHL for as long as he did. Yeah, put R.A.
on there. We should rotate.
We should rotate that seat with a Spittin' Chicklets member. I'll be honest.
I would tune in for every R.A. night.
R.A. came over to my desk today and we were chatting up and catching up.
He was sweating so much and I don't know why. He's a sweater.
It's like 50 degrees outside. He's a mover and a shanker boy.
And he was just like, yeah, he came over. It was actually a very funny scene because I was sitting, and I had paper towels in the corner of my desk.
He came over, just reached, grabbed the paper towels, and just started mopping himself down. I was like, what's up, RA? Yeah, you think his core temperature with the fact that it's so cold out and he's got a shaved head that he would be okay.
Right, right. No, he would sweat.
I think he would sweat through a blizzard. That's how much he sweats.
I think if he touches anything remotely hot or spicy, it goes to a different level where he might drown himself. It does seem, though, that the podcast has never been better.
We're having a good time. Oh, wait.
Sorry, I was talking about ours. Oh, okay.
Do you want any tips? I was talking about ours. No, no, no.
Yeah, do you want any questions for us well seriously though we wanted to we started doing two episodes a week and we just found that we were just better at one and we like to circle back once a week that's nice now you guys are crushing it you guys also cover every sport yeah we do so there's no off you guys are workhorses you don't get tired after doing one interview or a live stream and need to take dirt naps. Our trick is whenever we need to talk about a sport that we don't understand, we just have somebody else come on to our show and talk to us about it.
You. And we just steal your ratings for one day.
Yes. So thank you.
I appreciate it. You guys are crushing it.
I feel like spitting chiclets is one of those things at Barcelona now that it's just so consistently great. And people always, when see people on the street when i talk to people they all love you we yeah we we care about our product we want to get great interviews and you know we we come by once a week and we give our thoughts on what's happened around the league we try to keep it uh you know light as possible so yeah it's been going good buddy sports are supposed to be fun why.
Why'd you buddy me there? I don't know.

Yeah,

he didn't even realize I did that.

Yeah,

that was a,

is that a,

is that a diss?

No,

I don't like it.

If you ask Whitney,

it's a diss.

Yeah.

Whitney took exception

to Billy football

think of the buddy.

I think buddying is fine.

No.

Oh,

that's right.

Cause you buddied wit

and then he fucking lost.

Yeah.

It was actually after he bro'd him.

So he followed up the bro

with a buddy. And at that point, what was like, enough's enough.
What are we doing here? Bro, you can buddy me anytime. Yeah.
No, that's like a tapping someone on the head. You know what I think about? Maybe I would say once every two weeks, that cow that you want.
Because I remember when I looked it up, I'm like, that's the most beautiful cow I've ever seen. Highland cattle.
A Highland cattle. I think I'm going to buy a ranch in Wyoming just to have one of those.
I would be your ranch hand if you did that. What is TNT paying you pre-tax? Oh, we're not going through that.
I don't want to be. Not as much as Wayne, that's for sure.
I think Wayne's making like, what, three, four? They said it publicly. Have you done the joke yet where you're like, two of us, we had, you know, 5,000 points in the league.
No, I avoided that one because everybody said it. No, do it.
No. Do it.
How many points did you have? Okay, I'll do it. Well, how many points did you have? I had 21 points.
That's not nothing. And also, he could go the other way around and be like, well, between me and Biz Nasty, we've gotten our asses kicked

with a combined two ACLs.

Yeah.

We should do the donkey comparison for how many we have collectively

compared to how many goals.

Yeah.

Is there going to be any hoop talk on the show?

There already was.

The cornhole cam with Charles Barkley and that.

That was pretty nice, wasn't it?

Like it was just a shot of Charles Barkley's ass.

Yeah.

You were looking at that like, fellas. The cornhole cam or the hoop cam.
Start calling him Wayne Nasty. No.
Wayne-o. I like calling him Wayne-o.
I do like the idea for the pink nasty drink. Oh, shit.
We got off the workout topic, but yeah, we do crush weights together. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Finish with that. We're workout bros.
Yeah. So you go in the gym.
Does he text you saying, hey, let's hit the gym? Yeah, we got a group text going. Okay, how many guys? Well, so Anson Carter actually lives in Atlanta.
And then Liam McHugh was actually in the gym when we got there. But it was me, Talkett, and Gretzky.
And then Liam McHugh is going to probably start joining us, I would imagine. And what do you guys do? I just do a lot of bodyweight stuff and then light upper upper body wayne's more just a walker yeah i love that with the he wears like the garbage bag type shirt where you just sweat your balls off smart yeah wait so what so why do you talk it does the terrell owens with the incline where he just he walks on the treadmill with the incline with the dumbbells so why do you guys have to go together we just felt like it keeps each other it keeps us honest we're a team it's got that team camaraderie you hit the locker room together afterwards it's just a hotel gym right yeah we go back to our rooms to shower if that's what you're asking me no i haven't seen waynos hammer okay that was gonna be my next question i've seen yours i'm sure half the league is seen probably right what do you mean? Did you have a lot of text threads going on at the time?

No.

You strike me as a guy that would send a picture of his shit

if he had a really nasty one.

You've never sent a picture of a massive dump?

I have.

I'm saying it's a compliment.

That's guy stuff.

Yeah, guy stuff is sending a massive dump.

Check out this.

Look at this one.

Would you like to publicly comment on your haircut?

Yes.

Oh, I had the worst it's still not that great let's see it yeah you look like uh oh man oh yeah that's bad that's like almost jackson mahomes like yeah you're yeah you're like kramer kramer meets jackson you're you're late 60s bob Dylan. Yeah.
Marv from Home Alone.

Actually, it's Kramer meets Jackson Mahomes. You're late 60s Bob Dylan.
Yeah.

Marv from Home Alone.

Actually, it's going on me a little bit now.

Isn't it funny when the hair moves like that?

Careful now.

Billy's going to fuck you.

Oh, he likes to fuck the farm animals?

Yeah, he likes cocks.

He loves putting his cock in our farm animals.

Oh, wow. That was an farm animals? Yeah, he likes cocks.
He loves putting his cock in our farm animals. Oh, wow.
Yeah. That was an insult.
When I was living in Wales, all the English people would call the Welsh the sheep fuckers. Yeah.
No, Billy doesn't take that as an insult. It's just a statement of fact.
He's like, she wasn't bad. Is there an app for that now? To meet farm animals? The Highland cattle? Definitely.
Is there a female version of a Highland cattle or is that like a is that some of them are female some of them are male okay yeah i was they make both now it came out with a 2.0 cow is a female and a bull is the male i just didn't know about the that kind of unisex how did you get in the end of barn animal jokes what do you mean well that's how he got the name nasty. Like, yeah, actually no.
Yeah. Yeah.
Same.

Right. you get in the end of barn animal jokes what do you mean well that's how we got the name nasty like you actually no yeah yeah same right shut the fuck up i'm not admitting to fucking a farm animal i've never i've never been that desperate i'm sorry to insult you i've never been that desperate uh it's not a matter of desperation sometimes it's a good looking oh i thought we were going to go through every single hockey team.
Oh, you had any others? Stanley Cup final. Go.
Oh, okay. Slow down.
Every time I go on a different show, I predict two different teams. Smart.
That's really smart. Let's go with Florida.
Okay. Throwing rats on the ice.
And Colorado. Colorado.
With Crosby or without? I think if they pick up Crosby at the deadline. I don't know what they're going to have to trade to get Crosby.
McKinnon. Oh, McKinnon.
Yeah, they'll just do a wife swap. I mean, do you think Crosby could even, like, he's got to have a no trade clause, right? Yeah, yeah.
He's not going anywhere. One thing, so Darren Drager, who's a well-respected media personality in Canada who follows hockey, he mentioned the possibility of it.
And I kind of jumped on it where I'm like, yeah, I could see that. McKinnon and Sid work out every summer together.
They're like best friends. They're attached at the hip.
Pittsburgh's maybe treading in the other way. Although they did win the division last year, I believe, and they've got off to a good start without Malkin and Crosby in the lineup.
So, who knows? Who knows? When you have those two guys, they could end up turning around and winning it because when they won their second cup together, Letang was injured. Matt Murray played out of his mind.
And, yeah, they had some great other pieces, but nothing that – Phil Kessel stepped up and contributed. But it was like Sid and Gino were just riding this wave where they were just unstoppable, controlling the middle of the ice.
Everything that they were shooting and passing, it was going in the net. And when you have those two guys, you always have a chance.
So I don't think he's going to get dealt. It was a rumor that I hopped on, and I'd still like to see it because it would create a lot of waves and drama.
But I would not bet anything on it. I would put as much money as Gallant saying, I would bet that we have a captain by the end of the week, and then they never ended up picking a captain who gave everyone assistant captains in New York.

Yeah, I love that.

The head coach goes, I would put money on it,

and then it didn't happen.

And he's the one who gets to decide it.

So he probably got crazy odds and got through the Barstool Sportsbook app

and wanted to show a ton of money.

A little plug for you, Dave.

There you go.

All right, Biz, thank you.

Everyone watch Biz on TNT tonight because this episode will be out on Wednesday. Bill, you have one last thing, and then we're going to go.
Did you ever play against the Danbury Trashers? I never played against them, no. No, I was still playing my last year junior the year that came out.
All right, so pretend you did. Follow up.
Yes, I did play for the Danbury Trashers. No, I'm just wondering.
No, but he said to come at me from the other angle.

He played against them.

What was it like?

They put a dead fish in our locker room and cranked up the heat on us,

and then they kidnapped my parents before.

That's crazy.

Yeah, it's crazy, isn't it?

There we go.

Yeah, that's what it's like playing against those guys.

Good question, Billy.

We never would have known that if Billy had an ass.

Billy.

Yeah.

Head and knuckles. Yeah.
All right, love it, Billy. We never would have known that if Billy had an ass.
Billy. Yeah.
Head and knuckles. Yeah.
All right. Love it, Billy.
Hey, what's going on there, pal? We saw you at the hockey game on. Do I know you guys? I'm Ryan Whitney.
I got a drink named after me. Not a big deal.
Pink Whitney? That's what I thought. See you, fellas.
I invented the thing, you pigeon. Pink Whitney for legendary moments.
Okay, let's wrap up with some quick couple guys on chicks. Hello, large feline Mr.
Cometor Shank, Jacob, and Sir William Pigskin. This question is for Sir Pigskin.
What are your thoughts on chicks who lift? Do you prefer chicks who are ripped or chicks who are thick? What guess it is I just care about their max numbers so should everyone so it doesn't matter body type you care about the results I'm a GPA guy I think all women's bodies are beautiful no I don't who's ever I mean, who's ever been like, oh, man, she's too in shape? I mean, I can't really. I'm not one who has the ability to complain about that.
Correct. I've seen myself shirtless.
Right. I do think, though, there's a point of no return where a woman gets so jacked that she has no choice but to do uh really cringy fitness tiktoks with her boyfriend that kind of sucks you see you know those that like whole community that's a weird community where they're like meal prepping together and doing handstands they're fitness couples yeah fitness couples are very strange freakazoids i although i will say like i don't want I wouldn't want a girl who was, like, super, super, super, super more in shape than me.
Oh, I'd be fine. Because then I'd just be like, well, this isn't going to last very long.
We should... Hank, your trainer.
Yeah, how's she? Is she thick? Or what are her numbers like? My long-distance boyfriend came into town last weekend, and we went to his favorite place, Times Square. He likes the M&M store because they have those giant funnels.
Anyway, we ran into those guys that hand out CDs, and then they ask you to give them money. Being from New York, I know to ignore and keep walking.
My boyfriend, being from Ohio, literally stopped and got handed like three to four CDs. He got intimidated because they kind of surrounded him and ended up giving them a total of at least $60.
We went to lunch little later and i could tell he was embarrassed fast forward to the next day and he wants to go to times square again we have plans with my parents for brunch so there's no way we can go i tell him this but he's adamant about going back and returning the cds i explained that's not how it works he says just go without me and i just let him go and told him to come back Well, apparently it went bad again because he said that he was pressured into spending 40 more dollars on CDs. He can't keep going on like this.
How do I convince him to take his loss? This sounds like the origin story for a very specific type of superhero. Yeah.
I got wronged in Times Square, and I'll never let it happen to anybody before. Why do they still have CDs? Napster.
Yeah, exactly. That's how napster was formed yeah point i mean new york like you just if you if you've been here long enough you just basically learn that you don't even have to give like a nice like no thanks you just don't even have to do anything because no one does that back you know what i mean like if people there's some people down the street that i feel like are always asking for shit and you you don't even have to say no i'm good you just keep walking the uh the nice part about new york is you don't have to even look at anybody yeah you just keep walking and you don't have to worry you're actually kind of a psycho if you make eye contact with a stranger on the street i remember when i when we first moved here i gave up my seat on the subway and like people looked at me like i was the craziest person in the world.
Why would you do that? Oh I do that for a troop. Yeah.
Well for Billy. Yeah.
Billy. Billy troops.
You don't want to be Billy football anymore. Our good friend Tom Fernelli said maybe it's Billy troops.
Or yes Sergeant Bill. Sergeant Bill.
Maybe private Bill. Yeah.
Make you earn it. Liking Times Square is a red flag in itself.
Yeah, but I guess if you've never been in New York, you'd think maybe this is cool once. Billy, do you know what the military chain of command is? Private is very low.
Well, how low? Because they're still in the army. It sounds like you're disparaging all the privates.
They're above us. It's a lower rank.
Above us, yeah, but you said very low. Everything is perspective.
What's in the middle? Some people think Colorado is in the South. Yeah, what about Lieutenant? Lieutenant's higher than private.
What about Admiral? What about Sergeant? Admiral's in the Navy only. Rear Admiral.
It's in the rear. Oh.
Good point.

Pilot.

Not a rank.

Cop.

Not in the military.

President.

Technically the head of the other.

Yep.

Chill out. So your hero is Joe Biden.

Yeah.

You have to do everything that he says.

Yeah, that's true.

Literally everything that he says.

You have a picture of him in your house, right? Huge pic. When he's younger.
Got it. Better looking.
Yeah. Back when he was hot.
Yeah. All right.
All right, last one. PFT Honk, Billy Handball, Alpha Jake.
My boyfriend won't stop picking his nose and flicking his boogers in the air in an attempt to catch him in his mouth like they're grapes. Oh, what? Occasionally, he catches one and then displays it to me and anyone else around him.
Thankfully, he only does this in private settings. That was fucked up.
I hope your boyfriend starts flicking him in your mouth. That was very mean to say.
I would say that the trick to everything is just withhold sex. Any behavior that needs correcting, it's like that movie Chirac, just stop having sex.
And an e-collar. Or shock him.
I hate this woman, so fuck her. Pain or sex? I hope your life sucks.
I hope you eat boogers in every salad. You booger salad.
It's like croutons. I just...
Eating your boogers is... Delicious? Good.
Healthy? I just wanted to throw that out there, see where we'd go with it. Billy? I heard it helps build your immune system.
I heard there was a high school in California where people were eating their boogers, and was a new diet they found on TikTok. That's not true.
Oh. Alright, numbers.
Love you guys. Give me eight.
96. Baines! Baines! Baines! Stop making fun of these people with a serious ailment.
Baines! Baines! 46. Close to the goat.
The neighbor. I'm never fucking winning.
Love you guys. Running away, baby.
It's the living top. Running away, baby.
It's the living top. Talking away.
I wonder what I'm saying. saying I'm saying Anyway Today's another day Time Shine away Time I'll be coming for your lover Time Shine away Time I'll be coming for your lover Time Take on me Take me on I'll be gone But I don't change It's the living time Needless to say I'm all set in But I need some little, ha, ha.
It's the needless to say. I'm all set in.
But I need to throw a little away. I learn that life is okay.
Say after me. Time.
It's the better to be safe than sorry. Shining away.
I'm coming for you, lover. Time.
Take on me.

It's the living time.

Take me up.

It's the living time.

I'll be gone.

It is too okay.