Justin Thomas, CM Punk, Joe Burrow Is Back & NFL Week 4 Preview

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we have a twofer for the people, Justin Thomas, straight off his Ryder Cup victory. Great interview with him, catching up on the golf world, talking about the Ryder Cup.
and then we have CM Punk in studio

in studio. In studio.
A little teaser for the people. CM Punk said some things that could end up in the news because he told us some stories.
The news. Yeah, the news.
We have week four NFL preview, Thursday Night Football, PFT's iStream which was electric and then we have Fantasy Lads and Firefest. Ever had one of those days when it's just too cold to keep working? Nah neither has Ariat.
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And then I can't play all on the sun Oh no We're gonna rock down to electric irony And then we'll take it higher Oh we're gonna rock down to electric irony It's part of my take presented by Barstool Sports Welcome to part of my take presented by Dave and Buster's Go check out Daveave and busters right now there's making a sandwich and then there's crafting a sandwich and when i want something perfectly crafted i go straight to boar's head for over a century boar's head has been dedicated to crafting premium deli favorites every ingredient is carefully chosen every recipe made with a purpose their Their oven gold turkey, smoked master ham,

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And Billy, did you get a haircut? I actually was trying to shave my head. Are you serious? You blew it, Billy.
Is that serious? No, he's telling the joke, but he wasn't ready for it yet. He has a a new joke but he wasn't ready for it he had to compose himself and then he's like we have to talk about pft showing his eyes and i still led with this because i wanted to give you no wait wait don't say don't say don't say stop talking billy all right let's do it again all right here we go three two one welcome to part of my take presented by dave and busters today is Friday, October 1st.
And Billy, did you get a haircut? I was halfway through shaving my head and I chickened out. That's his joke.
That's his new joke. God damn it.
That's the joke. I think it's sweet.
God damn it. Give the people what they want.
Oh, you want the hits? Yes. play the hits! Billy, did you...

Alright, 3-2-1.

Welcome to part of my take presented by Dave & Buster's.

Go check out Dave & Buster's more ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding.

Today is Friday, October 1st, and Billy, did you get your hair cut?

No, I dyed the tips invisible.

Yeah!

Say the line, Bart.

There we go.

Dude, you gotta just go with your line over and over. I could have just gone, like, cut all of them, you know? Yeah.
All right. I like that Billy's so committed to the stolen valor lifestyle that he got the Marine Corps haircut.
Yes. That's nice.
I get one haircut a month, and it's going to be close. Yes.
All right. And I'm always going to ask you for the line.
I thought you got all of them cut, Billy. Yeah.
All right. Let's talk some real stuff.
We had Thursday Night Football. We had a stream that was electric.
PFT showed his eyes. Yeah, I dumped the girls out.
I went free balling tonight, Big Cat. Yeah, it was.
So if you didn't watch, go watch. Go subscribe to our YouTube on Part of My Take.
Part of My Take YouTube because PFT might flip out the eyes at any moment. You never know.
You think people are going to be able to tell when we're doing the show and when the girls are out and when they're back in? Let's give it a shot. All right.
No, don't tell. Don't say.
Right. Yeah.
I'm going to say three words. Yeah.
And then without looking before the YouTube comes out, reply to the original part of my take tweet and we should put up a poll. Which one was three words? Okay.
Ready? I'm going to say Uber, Chowder, Patriots. Okay, tell us which one.
Tell us which one. But it was electric.
It was actually awesome. The AWLs were incredible.
305. We were trying to get between 305 and 306,000 for two minutes.
And we were like a minute and a half in. And it got all the way down to 305-02.

305-02.

We held diamond hands.

The AWLs have diamond fucking hands,

and I appreciate it, but it's not weird.

No, it's not weird.

It's just normal now.

Yeah, it's just normal,

so he'll sometimes have them on,

sometimes have them off.

Normalize, normalize, normalize.

Yes, exactly.

Put that down.

Write that down.

Write on his... You should just walk around, maybe have it as your license plate or a tattoo.
Bumper sticker, Pinterest, dream board. Yeah, whatever.
Name it. We did have some football.
It was actually a very good game. Trevor Lawrence has officially arrived in the NFL.
He played very well. He played well.
He played well. No, I think this was officially his first game.
He feels like a Thursday night quarterback. But I do want to say to all the people being like, Bengals, Jaguars, ew, who's watching that? Fuck you.
I say it every year. Yeah.
If you don't love me at my Bengals, Jaguars, you don't deserve me at my Bucs, Patriots. You can say, though, like I say the game stinks, but I'm still going to watch every second and enjoy it.
Yeah, and you know what? Usually the games that we think are going to suck on Thursday nights, they end up being pretty good

with the notable exception of last week

of Mills Mafia. Yes.
We were wrong about

that. We were very wrong about that.
Hand up.

I thought Trevor Lawrence played well. It seemed

like they were running Clemson's offense.

I think he had two rushing touchdowns

and one rushing touchdown. I mean, it

wasn't like wow stats, but he didn't throw

an interception. No, he played well.
He played well. Joe Burrow played great.
Joe Burrow looked awesome. His drive to tie the game was incredible, the drive to win with the field goal.
My biggest question here is, Urban Meyer, what are you doing, dude? Urban Meyer doesn't like coaching football. It was pretty apparent.
In the first half, on a first down, the Bengals get a first down,

and Urban Meyer just doubles over with his hands on his knees.

I think he might be dead right now.

He looks like he's miserable out there all the time.

I don't know why he does it to himself.

Well, here's what I'm confused about.

So Urban Meyer, at the end of the half,

basically kind of changes the momentum.

The Jaguars have a chance to go up 21-0. They get stopped at the goal line.
I like the aggressiveness. You're an 0-3 team.
You're trying to get your first win. You're playing a great half.
Step on their throats. Score.
Go into the halftime 21-0. Pretty difficult to come back from 21-0 down.
So that's aggressive. That's good.
That's an 0-3 team trying to get their first win. Flash forward, you get to the fourth quarter.
Fourth and four at the 50 with five minutes left. You punt and you never get the ball back.
Like, if you're going to be aggressive one spot, be aggressive the whole time. You're 0-3.
You're not a good football team. You're trying to get your first win as NFL coach.
Do it, man. Just do it.
You know me, Big Cat. I'm a big numbers guy.
I believe in what the computers

tell me. The computers said that

Jacksonville was going to gain plus

five percentage points if

they went for it on that fourth and four.

Yeah. So I don't know what

computer that was. I know earlier today,

I think, was it, who was it that said,

oh, Joe Judge,

I think, said Bill Gates,

a spreadsheet never won a Super Bowl.

Yep. Which is a fact, but Paul

Allen was a co-founder

or Joe Judge, I think, said Bill Gates, a spreadsheet never won a Super Bowl,

which is a fact, but Paul Allen was a co-founder of Microsoft,

and I think he won a Super Bowl. He did win a Super Bowl.

We're going to ignore that.

I think I saw Will Branson tweet that out.

Credit to Will on that.

Also, we had Nick Saban doing that tonight.

He was going after the analytics guys.

Yeah, analytics guys, you're on notice, right?

Computer folks.

Let me get Saban's quote.

Saban was on one, as they say, tonight Saban said, I – wait, where is it? Oh, he doesn't trust some guy who sits at a computer and never played football. Yeah.
I'm not an analytics guy is what Saban said. It sounded like a direct shot at us personally.
Yeah, he also says, Miss Terry always wants to blitz more. I like that.
I like the aggressiveness. But you're right when it comes to Urban Meyer.
If you're going to go for it at the end of the game, go for it in the fourth quarter to put him away. Just do it.
Just do it. What's going on over there? We got giggles coming from Hank and Bubba.
I always think they're making fun of us. That's a great line from Miss Terry.
Miss Terry wants to blitz more. I love whenever a football coach is like on his weekly radio hit or TV appearance.

He's like, yeah, my wife thinks we got to be more aggressive with the guys.

I'm not also convinced that it's not just like inner monologue of himself that he says.

Well, and also it's a great.

He wants to blitz more.

Yeah.

Well, it's also a great way to be like you take whatever the fan base really wants and then you put it on your wife and you're like, she's the smart one. You know what's crazy is that, like, what if Miss Terry just doesn't even exist? Oh.
Because think about it. Her name is Mystery.
Hmm. That's fucking wild.
Yeah. But he should blitz more.
Yes, definitely blitz more. But a good game.
The Bengals, I mean, I can't. So I think the Bengals are frisky.
I can't say they're good because they did lose to the Bears, who are a dumpster fire. What did you call Jay Cutler? Did you call him Mr.
Second Half or Mr. Fourth Quarter? Mr.
Fourth Quarter. Okay, I think Joe Burrow should be Mr.
Second Half. Okay, that's fine.
I'm cool with that. He was lights out in the second half.
He came out, he took control. He was great.
I think we can stop questioning whether or not he's going to be able to step into throws as he's getting hit because he did that a few times. Pulled his big old nuts out.
Yeah, he looked awesome and Taj Boyd was awesome and obviously Jamar Chase was cash. Always cash.
Anytime you want. The ATM.
Yeah, the Bengals I think are officially on frisky watch. Yeah, who is more frisky, the Bengals or the Panthers?

Ooh, I think the Panthers, if the Panthers beat the Cowboys,

they might graduate to good.

Yeah.

So they're frisky right now.

Correct, but they're on the precipice of being good.

I think the Bengals just joined the Panthers in the frisky watch.

Okay, let's do a look ahead.

Whose line is it anyway?

Neutralfield, Bengals, Steelers. Well, it was two and a half last week.
So neutral field, I mean, it's probably a pick-em. I guess it depends on if TJ Watt's playing.
Probably if TJ Watt's playing, maybe Steelers minus one is what I'd make it. Because I do make the lines.
I like the Bengals. Shout out to everyone who tried to win the Larry hoodie tonight.
Next week, we'll come up with something better so that people can get it. Sorry.
It's not us. It's Larry.
Larry picked the Bengals. We're going to have a word with Larry.
Larry is a fuckhead. He's on notice.
The new one is a bitch, too. What? Do I have to eat him? No.
That was if the alt-line hit of Jaguars minus 21 and a half uh billy before we get to the

weekend preview or anything else from this game no i think that's about it i i mean all the all

the primetime games this year have been awesome yes they have very excited about except except

last well no no and also in the bears all of them have been awesome yeah uh billy your milk budget

it's october 1st so i uh did the calculations this you don't have receipts? Five weeks. I'm giving it.
On average, I had two gallon. Oh, so this is totally made up.
It's not made up. Okay.
I thought he said for the month of September. And also, how many months have five weeks in them? And you also just said on average.
On average. So that means that's made up.
Yeah, Billy's brain is like the bodybuilding.com where they argue over how many days are in a week. This wasn't a hard exercise, wasn't it? I drank a lot of milk.
You could have just gone to the store like three times and got receipts. I had mental math.
You could have just taken pictures. Yeah.
Well, the thing is, all my receipts had tons of stuff on it. Right.
Like prosciutto and stuff. Okay, tons of stuff.
Yeah., the usual groceries. Milk and prosciutto.
Billy might be the best person in the entire world at taking the easiest possible tasks and making them the most complicated tasks. Do you want the breakdown about how much milk is? Yeah, sorry.
Give it to us. Sorry.
So I had 10 gallons of milk this month that I bought in gallon jugs and then then on Wednesday nights, I like to get some really good cookies. And then I get the cream line Ronnie Brook milk.
What does this have? Which is $5. Yeah, $5 a liter.
Okay. I get two of them a week.
Okay. So all in all, we're at around, we'll call it even $100.
Okay. That was so complicated.
And like, here, here's what I'm gonna say right now here's your hundred dollars for this month next in October I will continue to pay it but I need documentation okay if you provide it I will give you I'll pay for it if you don't you have to give me the hundred bucks back okay do you understand the exact documentation I just the thing is when I go when I go to the store save the receipt but when I have to give me the $100 back. Okay.
Do you understand it? You need the exact documentation? I just... But the thing is, when I go to the store...
Save the receipt, Billy. But when I go to the store, the receipt has a bunch of other stuff on it.
You can still save that piece of paper, though. But I don't even need the paper.
Part of the funny part of this whole experiment was you were to come in October 1st and be like, I had the numbers. This month, I drank 14 gallons of milk.
I'll tell you exactly how much How much So I did 10 liters 10 liters plus 10 gallons 10 pints plus 10 gallons 10 pints plus 10 gallons Okay Yeah that's exactly how much I drank Okay Just do me a favor Billy Just don't throw out any receipts so we don't go through this. We're absolutely going to go through this again on November 1st.
I counted in my head. You know what? Just tweet me the picture.
Take a picture of the milk you buy every single time and tweet it at me. Make a thread.
Okay? Yeah, make a thread. Make a milk thread.
Make a milk thread. All right.
Beautiful. Good job.
Okay, I dropped the ball on this one. No, it's okay.
It's okay. I counted in my head.
To be expected. Yeah.
Yeah. I think Hank is just...
You lost Hank. Hank's just staring at Billy like, there was a lot of milk content.
Yeah. Yeah.
It paid for itself. It did.
All right. Let's get to the weekend preview.
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Week five. It is Henry Lockwood's week.
Week four. I was thinking college football.
Week five. NFL, week four.
Every week is Henry Lockwood week. Oh, okay.
In my book, he's back. You main charactering it? Yeah.
Main character syndrome? TFW. Okay, so Hank, give us your thoughts.
Going into this weekend, the Goat Bowl is what Edelman called it on Inside the NFL. He also said both these guys want to win the game.
That's good analysis. Yeah.
So if you were wondering at all about that, wonder no more. Yeah, if you're curious, this game will be exclusively played only by tom brady and

bill belichick no other players will be that would actually be funny if they just said if it was just tom brady and bill belichick it was like a game of tag i think that bill belichick could beat tom brady in a foot race i think that's a possibility oh that would be so funny to watch though it'd be like charles barkley uh racing dick bavetta yeah and then they kiss each other on the lips at the That would be good.

So my understanding going into this game is I'm taking the Bucs in this game,

not for my official picks, which we'll have Jake update in a second,

but you know the old saying, like, it's not personal, it's just business?

That's true for Belichick, and it's the reverse for Brady.

It's personal for Brady, it's business for Belichick.

Would that be fair?

Yeah, I'm sure it's a little bit personal.

He won't say it is, but I'm sure it is. Okay, yeah, no, I like that.
It might be a little bit, yeah. I think it's a little bit of both, like a trip to the Cayman Islands.
You're there to check out your new tax hideout, but at the same time you're going to catch some time on a jet ski. Yeah, yeah.
I think it's going to be really emotional. I mean, I'm looking forward to it.
It's one of those things like, you know, when people die, or it's like, why don't they give people their flowers when they're still here? It's cool that Brady's going to get that recognition, that love when he's still a player. Obviously, you know, you wish he was still in the Patriots, but I don't know.
I don't think it's going to be like, I just think it's going to be really emotional. There's going to be a lot of good videos, a lot of good memories, a lot of trips down memory lane.

The coming home video is going to be awesome.

And I think I do agree with you that the Bucs are probably going to kill the Patriots.

Do you think they're going to?

The Bucs are sick.

Yeah.

Oh, they are sick.

That's right.

And no Gronk.

Do you think they're going to hold anything back on the video in case Tom Brady comes back to Foxborough in eight years' time still playing for the Tampa Bay Bucs? No. It's a thought.
Is it official that they're doing a Welcome Home video like the Kyrie Irving? I would assume. No, it was Isaiah Thomas when they had that video ready to go and he came back to the garden like six times and never got the video.
Are they actually making a video? Are you just assuming that the Patriots video staff has put together a montage? Yeah, I'm assuming that. It's a fair assumption, I'd say.
It's one of those sports rule moments. When storylines and sports all come together and it's like, this is going to be a cool moment.
You don't have a pulse if you don't think that this is going to be cool to watch and see Brady go against Belichick for the first time and Tom Brady potentially beat all 32 teams, which is maybe the coolest record out there. I don't think that's ever been done.
Did Brett Favre do it? By a quarterback. I don't know if Brett Favre did it.
That's a good question. Can we find that out, Jake? He did not.
He did. I'm pretty sure that was a big deal one.
He did do it. That they talked about.
No, but he cheated. There's a new team or something.
Oh, Brett Favre? There's some type of like... No, not since Brett Favre.
No, because the Texans would be the last team. Pretty sure he whooped the Texans.
He might have... Yeah, he might have done that.
But either way... Tom Brady can join Peyton Manning, Drew Brees, and Brett Favre if it's only QBs.
Okay, so it's been done. Okay.
All right, so that ruined that. It's still cool, though.
I think you're... No, it's honestly not as cool.
I'm going to be honest with you, it's not as cool. Your initial point, I think, still stands, that it is cool to be like, yeah, I've got every single pelt on my wall.
Yeah. Shit.
I should have thought Drew Brees. That was a good trivia question that we could have saved.
Imagine if you're McCorkle Jones, though, going into this game. Yeah.
This is a big time the moment might actually be too big for Mac Jones because he's obviously a a rookie quarterback and he feels like he's got a lot of responsibility taking over this franchise. Just like not ever being in the same building as Tom Brady, but just knowing that he's been entrusted to try to take over that legacy from Tom Brady.
But then getting to see it up close and personal when you're going to have every fan at the stadium that's rooting for you also give a standing ovation to the guy that was there before you and is coming in to kick your ass. And everyone's always going to compare your career and how you do against that guy.
Do you think Tom Brady will pat him on the head? What do you think that interaction is going to be? Like a who are you? No, just be like a quick. I don't think there will be much.
Great game. Good job.
Do you think Belichick and Brady will have a long embrace?

Not long.

They'll embrace.

They'll hug.

They'll hug it out.

Love you.

Yeah.

I think it'll be a pretty quick.

Good luck out there.

It'll be a quick embrace.

An embrace in like a shoulder.

They each touch the other person's like top shoulder.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What's going to happen is there's going to be like a slight physical contact.

And then after the game, they're going to ask Belichick about it. And he's going to be like, yeah, we talked earlier in the week, and I'm going to leave what was said in that conversation between Tom and I.
There'll probably be some pregame laughs in two weeks. He'll be like, Belichick said, fuck you, Tom.
I could see there being some pregame laughs that they cut to during the broadcast. Yeah, this is them four hours before standing at the 50-yard line.
Yeah, you're right. My prediction is they cover their mouth so no one can lip-read what they're saying.
McDaniels will definitely be with Brady beforehand. They'll bring out a special blue injury tent just for that pregame introduction to each other so nobody can see at all what happened.
It's going to be cool, though. What do you got, Billy? After Kraft's comments on Belichick recently,

how do you think Kraft's going to play into the dynamic?

What were his comments?

Are you talking about the book that's coming out?

So they technically weren't his comment.

Like, those were all...

Alleged comments?

Yeah, he wasn't on record on any of these, but yeah.

Hypothetically, if they were true,

do you think Kraft's going to be warm to Brady

and be like, sorry, things worked out how they did, or how do you think he's going to play in the whole role? Good question, Billy. I think Kraft might mouth kiss Brady.
I mean, Kraft's not going to be on the field. You don't think he's going to say hi to Brady? I'm sure he will.
I don't think, again, those comments are alleged, so I don't think they're going to really acknowledge them. I bet they'll go out to dinner before the night before.
Honestly. I think Robert Kraft, we're

going to see something special out of it in the booth. He's

going to wear his nicest blue shirt

with a white collar on it. He knows that

this is a big moment for him and for the franchise.

And there might be a special guest in his

suite. So I think you guys all recognize.

Roger Goodell. No.

That would be funny.

Bleep that. Yeah.

Bleep it. Yeah.
We don't know who's going to be there.

Okay. Yeah.
That's something to look forward to.

Yes. That would be something to look forward to.
Yeah, bleep it. Yeah, we don't know who's going to be there.
Okay. Yeah.
That's something to look forward to. Yes, that would be something to look forward to.
Is there a towel? Is it towel night? I don't think towel night. Maybe there's a towel.
I don't know. It is the matchup between the biggest age gap between two starting quarterbacks in the history of the NFL.
Whoa. That's probably going to be broken the next time Tom Brady plays a rookie quarterback.
I was going to say that probably sucks for Vinny Testaverde. Yeah, it does.
Because he probably had all those records. Also, I'm pretty sure Matt Jones isn't an abnormally young rookie, is he? No, I don't think so.
He's probably like 24. Yeah, I don't think he's that young.
So I think if he plays against... 23.
23? And just one DUI. Just one DUI.
Just one DUI. Thank you, Jake.
Thank you, thank you. Yeah, but you could see how that could be mistaken with his eyes.
Alright, so let's do some picks. Let's talk about some games.
Let's get into it. Jake, you want to give us a standings update? Yeah, so it was a pretty average week.
All of us went 2-2. Liam, though, did go 3-1, so now we're tied for last at 5-7, and then it's a one-game separation all the way uh hank got nine wins big cat eight pft seven billy six liam and i five so so again me and liam well we would have rock paper scissors shoot real quick between the two of you go rock rock paper scissors shoot all right so jake won so it's me and liam still yeah yeah because this is for last yeah for last okay.
I was all turned around there for a second. Standing is still me and Liam.
Bubba and Big Cat. Yes.
Hitting the road. And then what were the reminders? Didn't wait.
Yeah, I'm excited. That's going to be great.
On Wednesday's show, you told me. We're getting Liam.
By the way, if we have to do it, we're just going to fly. Yeah.
I told Bubba that I think a couple weeks ago that if it was me and Big Cat that ended up in last place, we would probably fly. We would drive for a day, and on the first day, we'd take pictures of ourselves at different gas stations, and then we'd upload them throughout the week from the beach in Los Angeles.
Or stuck in traffic on the 405. We'd fly from Pittsburgh to Denver, and then we'd finish the trip.
Two reminders for you. On Wednesday, you told me, don't talk yourself into thinking Belichick is drawing up something crazy to stop TB12.
Thank you. Thank you.
I'm not. I'm not.
I think Tom Brady, like I said, the personal, like this is Tom Brady is going to be treating this game as if it's a Super Bowl, I believe. And then second, this is retroactive to week one.
You told me to remind you to bet on Mike Tomlin as an underdog after they beat the Bills. The underdog king.
That actually is a very good reminder. And one of my picks, we'll get to him.
But let's start with, actually, let's start with our underdogs. So I'll start.
I'm taking the Steelers plus seven. That was the game that I looked at when I like to look at the whole thing on Monday morning and be like, what's the easiest bet? And I was like, Packers, so easy.
And then I realized Mike Tomlin as an underdog, the Steelers cannot look worse. Big Ben looks very, very bad.
Literally too much time on the clock on Big Ben's career. I was on Pittsburgh radio this morning.
PFT and I switch each. We go back and forthsburgh radio every other week and our good friend randy bauman who uh hosts the show he's in full denial so he's in full offensive line is to blame matt canada is is has new terminology i offered up that maybe put the put the play card on a pf chang's menu to help him ease it in uh but he's in full denial.
So that's where Pittsburgh's at right now. But I think they win this game.
I think they win outright, Hank. What do you think? No? I don't know, Jim.
This is a good game to check in on the Aaron Rodgers is interested meter. Because if he's really interested and engaged this year, they should beat that Steelers defense pretty badly.
Yeah, although they get guys back. I think most of the guys are back.
Pittsburgh gets a couple guys back. But also, I mean, it's in Lambeau, right? Yep.
So this is a tricky thing. On Sunday night, the game was going to be the Browns against the Steelers, and then the NFL completely rearranged the schedule on me and then made it the Packers against the Steelers.
I thought the Bears were playing the Vikings, so they rearranged me, too. They did.
The NFL does this occasionally, I think, a couple times a year. They just do a surprise schedule switch at the last minute.
But, yeah, I do think that I like Mike Tomlin as an underdog, but I think that this all falls into Aaron Rodgers' lap. If he is still engaged, if he's not happy just sitting on that Sunday night win, I think the Packers should blow them out.
It's just tough to take Big Ben. I know it is.
It's very tough. It's tough to put faith in Big Ben after some of those throws.
Find a staff for me, Mike Tomlin, as an underdog. I'm sure you can search it.
Mike Tomlin as an underdog is incredible. He's out of this world.
He always comes. Remember that game? It was like maybe.
Oh, no, that was as a favorite. Always bet against him as a favorite.
That was against the Cowboys. The games were their favorite.
I favored. I think it's 10-7 outright in games they were favored.
No, no, as an underdog. I need it as an underdog.
Tomlin as an underdog, he's a good coach. He's a very good coach.
He's a good rah-rah-rah, get-em-ready-to-go, world-against-us kind of coach. All right, PFT, your underdog.
My underdog, I'm going to take the Texans at the Bills. Oh, boy.
Plus 16.5. Mills Mafia versus Bills Mafia.
And it's just too many points. The Tex Texans get paid to play football too.
That's one thing that we have to remember. It is a lot of points.
And in case you've forgotten just how dysfunctional the Texans are, there was a report that came out this week about Bill O'Brien and how he was trying his very hardest to get fired because he wanted to go back to New England and eventually take over the reins from Bill Belichick, and the Texans just wouldn't fire him. They are so bad as a franchise that they wouldn't fire a coach who was actively doing everything possible that he could to get fired.
So I found a stat. Mike Tomlin is a 6-plus point underdog, is 9-3-1 against the spread.
I like that pick, PFT, not because I think they're going to cover the spread. I think that you're going to know within the first five minutes how that game is going to go.
Yeah, you'll probably be able to figure it out pretty quickly. It's going to be either Bills just killing them or like, ooh, the Texans are frisky today.
Who knows? I think if David Cully's vision for this offense is let's get two first downs and punt. If we can get two first downs and punt on every single drive, I think that the Bills aren't going to cover 16.5.

Now, obviously, Josh Allen could go out and throw a 90-yard touchdown

pretty much at will.

But I don't know.

I hate the Texans.

I think that they're a crummy football team.

But I like 16.5 points a lot.

I like it.

Also, another stat to back it up, as just an underdog since 2015, Mike Tomlin is 19-6 and 1 against the spread. Okay.
So he's an underdog guy. I like it.
He just loves being a dog. One more thing, when I saw this Bill O'Brien thing about him talking about wanting to get fired and go back to the Patriots, does this just confirm everything that we've said over the years that every former assistant coach to Bill Belichick operates as a satellite head coach of the New England Patriots.
Yes. And they send these coaches out to other franchises to destroy them from within and then bring them back to New England so the Patriots can continue their reign of dominance.
Yes. And I also like Bill O'Brien having an inflated self-worth where he's like, they're going to name me the next coach.

Yeah.

Golden parachute.

I can always go back to New England

because who doesn't think of Bill O'Brien

when they think of the Patriots?

Exactly.

He's riding that one season that he had at Penn State

where they lost all their scholarships

and everybody was like, they're going to lose every game.

And then I think they ended up going about 500 that year.

Best coaching job ever.

The best coaching job that we've ever seen college football that year. Correct.
All right, Bubba, your – is that my computer? I have a secret underdog too. I'll wait until the end to give my secret underdog.
Bubba, your underdog. I'm taking Detroit plus two and a half.
I don't think I've actually watched a Lions game other than Red Zone, but I just kind of tell myself they're going to keep it close. Yeah.
I keep going back and forth because there's a potential that the Bears can just embarrass themselves every Sunday, but this does feel like a hollow win that the Bears will get that then Matt Nagy can get in front of everyone and be like, see, told you guys we got this thing on the right path. We're 2-2.
As a non-Bears bears fan i can forgive matt nagy for almost everything that he does unless he makes me watch nick foals on sunday yeah if he makes me watch nick foals yep i'm 100 out on him it's gonna be the most boring game ever the naggy out thing yes uh so it's not gonna be dalton have they have they made any announcement yet i think dalton's out they haven't made an announcement i think dalton's outton's out. Justin Fields has a little cast on his wrist that looks like he has carpal tunnel.
When the person who never leaves their desk at the accounting firm has been typing for 50 years and then they just type with a cast on their wrist. That's what he looks like.
And then, yeah, Nick Foles, oh my god. I don't want it.
If you had to pick one quarterback that could potentially get sacked more than nine times more than last week nick foals would probably be the guy easily i think nick foals he sees that record he's like licking his chops he's like give me 10 i got this i got this hank your underdog riding with bubba lions hungriest dog in the nfl i Not the Colts? Nope. Shout out to that one guy who I do my rankings of the bad teams, and I did an 0-3 rankings, and he replied two days later saying, the Colts don't deserve to be on this list.
That's true. They're 0-3.
That's true. They don't deserve to be.
No, no. It's an 0-3, but it's a Mickey Mouse 0-3.
They should have won one of those games. If it wasn't for a 66-yard field goal and some rain, they'd be 2-1.
They almost won the first game, too, so they could basically be 3-0. Yeah, but Hollywood Brown dropped three touchdowns, so you could say if it wasn't for Hollywood Brown dropping...
Oh, sorry. Marquise Brown.
Marquise, yeah, we took away his nickname. I think a couple of them were overthrows, but I guess if you can touch it, you can catch it.
Either way, J-God's going to be hungry. I think the Lions are going to smash them.
This will be on the Hungry Dog Moneyline Parlay. I'm going to smash them.
I listen to you talk about the Bears over and over and over again, and it sounds like an absolute dumpster fire clusterfuck of a team. The Lions have been playing well, all things considered, for an 0-3 team, as far as an 0-3 team goes, and I think this is the game that gets them on the right path.
This is just the type of game, though, that the Bears win just so that they can be like, we're 2-2, we're not that bad. You know, if they win this game, I guarantee you in the press conference afterwards, Matt Nagy's going to be like, first goal every year, win your division games.
1-0. We're 1-0 this week, that's all that matters.
I mean, objectively speaking, would you rather have a team with a shitty roster and a low-T head coach or a shitty roster and a high-T head coach? Definitely the high-T. So that's, to me, I feel like the Lions could definitely win this game.
Jake. This makes me nervous, but I'm riding with them.
Oh my gosh. I had it written down.
Can't change picks. Wow.
I know it's an honor system. Okay, Billy.
No turning back. I'm now very confident in the Bears.
I know what Billy's going to take. I'm going with the Jets.
Yes, you are. Good job, Billy.
They're plus seven. And look, I'm at a good 50% right now.
50-50, six and six. So I'm trying to stay 50-50 because it's the safest spot on the board.
You don't get too high because you might get second. Don't go too low.
But wait, are you trying to win this game or trying to lose this one? Well, if it loses, it'll count to one of my losses I've allowed myself. And then try to win the other one.
What if it wins? Well, if it wins, I mean, then one of the ones I thought was going to win is probably going to lose. So I'll just stay at a perfect 50-50.
Nice. You've got this figured out.
I mean, Zach Wilson, if he keeps throwing half as many interceptions as he did the previous week, this week he'll only throw one interception. Exactly.
I actually don't hate the Jets this week. If there's a spot, yeah.
Stopping Derrick Henry is going to be tough, but their run defense is one of their strong points. Yeah.
Okay. That was my secret underdog for the week, too.
The Jets. You always have to be so nervous about those teams that aren't winning in September.
They're going to, at some point, win a game. I mean, obviously, if you said that about the Browns and the Lions, the year they didn't win a game.
But they're going to. You just got to catch it at the right time.
When Mims comes back, I'm going to be a lot more confident in their ability. He's the key to unlock the offense? Well, he's the alpha

wide receiver who's going to go up for the ball.

Really go get it. Got it.

Love that. Love that analysis.

Alright, my favorite. I'm going to go with the Browns.

Minus two. I'm just going simply.

Kevin Stefanski

was a coach for the Vikings for 14 years.

He knows everything about them

and Miles Garrett and Jadavian

Clowney. Visualize Miles Garrett and Jadavian Clowney running free off the edge for Kirk Cousins, and that's a good visual to win that game.
I think Kirk Cousins, he's playing like an MVP right now. Let's recognize that Kirk Cousins is leading every single PFF stat that there could possibly be.
He's without question the best quarterback in the league. And we were talking when is he going to turn into the pumpkin.
I've actually identified exactly when he's going to turn back into old Kirk Cousins. Not this weekend.
Not this weekend, I don't think. Although he does run into a lot of sacks.
Yes. I think that's like Kirk Cousins' specialty.
It's like he will move the pocket, but he'll move it directly into a defensive lineman. I think Halloween.
I think he's going to have the entire month of October this year. And then on Halloween, he's playing in primetime against the Cowboys.
Oh, so then he'll give him his flowers. This is a different Kirk Cousins.
Exactly. You're right.
And then he's got a couple more primetime games after that, some tougher defenses that he's going to be going up against. So I think Kirk Cousins, listen, I'll be the first to say it.
I was wrong about Kirk Cousins, Big Cat, for the month of October. There we go.
And September. And September.
But then he's going to be Kirk Cousins after that. I'm looking at the schedule right now.
The fact that the Bears and the Vikings play Monday Night Football December 20th. That is a slap in America's face.
It's gross. Go ahead.
Your favorite. Okay, my favorite.
I'm just going to take the Bucs. Minus seven.
There we go. Taking the Bucucs.
We talked about that game. Easy as that, we talked about it.
It comes down to the fact that the Bucs, I think, just have a much, much, much, much better roster overall. And then Bruce Arians was trying to say that he's taking credit for Tom Brady's success and saying that Bill Belichick essentially was a system coach with Tom Brady.

Just let Tom manage the game, and then you look like a genius.

Bruce Arians is going to go out there.

And I think Antonio Brown is coming back now off the 10-day COVID thing or whatever.

I saw that.

Like we said earlier, I think the Bucs win this game by 20.

Has Gronkman officially ruled out?

He didn't practice today.

I saw he was actually very likely to play.

Oh, okay. But I don't know.
Revenge game for him, too. Bubba, favorite? I'm taking Dallas minus four and a half.
He's got to move some numbers around after that. Yeah, I do.
That was some news you didn't need. The Cowboys...
Yeah, I'm kind of with you. I think they're good.
Yeah, if they win this game, and I think the Panthers are frisky, but they've also not played a lot of great teams. But if the Cowboys win this game and do it convincingly, I think the Cowboys are good.
Overdrive will start. I actually have been throwing this out.
Dak Prescott, 13-1 to win the MVP. Because you've got to look at the narrative, come back, America, especially the writers, want the Cowboys to be good so they can talk about it.
Dak Prescott, 13-1, win the MVP. I also think Sam Darnold will just turn back into himself at some point.
Yes, agreed. He'll eventually lose a game.
He's been doing everything to not lose them, but I think this will probably be it. This is a game, though, I could see the Cowboys losing because they take on the personality of Jerry Jones sometimes where they do tend to show up more in primetime games, glamorous games, and in this game it's against the Panthers.
I can't think of a less glamorous week. Nobody had this game circled on the calendar if you're a Dallas Cowboys fan.
I can't wait until we play the Carolina Panthers. McCaffrey's out.
McCaffrey is out. And I think I saw Matt Rule said that they're just going to run the offense as if he's there.
That's probably not... That's Sam Darnold throwing picks.
That's not the best. Hank, have you recovered from the Gronk news? Yeah, that's coming up later.
I'm just going to stick with it, but I'm going to take the Dolphins for my favorite. Ooh.
Okay. Need a bounce back.
Hungry dogs, though? Hungry. The culture 0-3.
Yeah, but the Dolphins are also hungry dogs, even though they're favorites, because they've lost their last two. Yep.
And it's a low, you know, they're not heavy favorites. Yeah.
So it's kind of like two hungry dogs running next to each other. There you go.
The Dolphins have covered in 12 of their last 14 games following a straight-up loss.

Love that stat.

I love that stat.

I have a question for you, Hank.

Yeah.

What are the Dolphins?

What is their identity?

Because as far as I can tell, their identity is just waiting for Deshaun Watson to get

traded to them.

Yeah, I don't know.

They're the same as always.

Like the third best team in the AFC East.

I feel like it's play defense and hope enough works out.

Yeah, hope enough works out on offense to win.

I think it's play defense and hope enough works out.

Yeah, hope enough works out on offense to win. I think the mission is to be competitive enough where after every game,

all your fans can say they would have won that game with Deshaun Watson

as the quarterback.

Yeah, and also a secondary statement of we're headed in the right direction.

Yeah.

Yeah, Brian Norris is a good coach. But it's like how many real Dolphins fans are even out there? Jake? Frank? I'm not even like a diehard.
I'm just a hometown. There are dozens of us, like never nudes.
There's really not. I don't know.
I mean, we'll see, but I feel like of all the fan bases, they have the most, you know. Good if they're good, bad if they don't care if they're bad.
Can we turn this TV off? There's just a woman showing all of her scars. Looks like she got stabbed.
She gets stabbed? All right, Jake, your favorite. I'm going to fade Billy here and take the Titans minus seven.
Ooh, okay. It's just even if it loses, you just are picking against that atrocious team.
Yeah, Yeah. No, you feel good walking away being like, I bet against the Jets.
Yeah. Or I bet against Billy.
Yeah. Well, yeah, 50% of the time.
Because he is going 50-50. Yep.
Yeah. My favorite is the Chiefs minus seven against the Eagles.
They're going to absolutely clown. So this is counting as a win.
This one's a win. They're going to clown the Eagles.
They're going to clown them. Wait, wait.
Are they going to put the clown shoes on them? Are they going to clown them? They're going to clown. No, literally, they're going to make the Eagles look like clowns.
I love it. Like, Mahomes is going to run around, like, throw some fucking deep bomb and just get Tyreek Hill, and Tyreek's going to peace sign everyone at the one-yard line.
It's going to be a clown show. Also, I want to go back to one thing with Jalen Hurts

when he said that when you take a douche, you don't look at it.

You always look at it.

Oh, yeah.

Always.

I look at it more than once.

Yeah, always.

You got to look at it.

That's basically what a men's physical is.

Yeah.

Leave it in there.

You look at your shit and you give an ocular like,

okay, I'm healthy.

45 minutes later.

Yeah.

Make sure it's still good.

Bunny balls. That's a poop lasagna.
Lasagna. Yeah.
Make sure it's still good. Bunny balls.

That's a poop lasagna.

Lasagna.

Yeah, he looks before he shits.

Yeah, right.

There might be a gator in there.

It is an Andy Reid revenge game, too.

Yeah, it's a bounce back.

Is he going to be there?

I think so, yeah.

Okay, so he's good.

It's obvious.

They're bouncing back.

Going to make him a clown show.

Love it.

Clown show.

Guaranteed one.

How many pre-produced video segments are we getting reminding us that Jason and Travis Kels are brothers? Oh, yeah. A lot.
Three. Okay, nice.
All right, my over. I'm going with just the fun over.
Cardinals Rams over 54 and a half. Afternoon game.
The afternoon games are incredible, by the way, because you have Cardinals Rams, you have have Steelers, Packers, you have what was the other one? Oh, Seahawks, 49ers, and Ravens, Broncos. Those four games are all going to be great games that we can focus on.
So that game, I saw the stat. Tommy Smokes told to me, and then also Florio tweeted out the Rams under Sean

McVay are 8-0 against

the Cardinals with a

combined score of 251

to 91. So Sean

McVay owns the Cardinals.

I feel like these Cardinals are a little bit different.

They are. But he doesn't

look more legit. Although some

if you're going to put a fraud label on a team

if you were to pick like a really

really good team right now and say which one

is most likely to be fraud

I'll try. Look more legit.
Although some, if you're going to put a fraud label on a team, if you were to pick a really, really good team right now and say which one is most likely to be fraudulent at the end of the year, I still feel like the Cardinals have, as a franchise, they'll always have that stink of fraudulence on them. I agree.
Them and the Raiders, you could make that argument for them that they should not be 3-0 or that they won't hang on to this undefiagation. You just don't trust them.
I don't trust them. I don't trust the Cardinals yet, but I do think that the offense is awesome.
And like you, I had this as my over. Love it.
My only note on this game was literally the Rams cards because it's fun. Yeah, right.
This is going to be a fun game to just root for points. Yes.
You're going to watch the entire first slate. It's tucked in there.
It's the 4-0-5 game, so you're going to kind of not even realize it started and then boom, touchdown, touchdown, touchdown. Wow, this is fun.
Bubba, you're over. Houston Buffalo over 47.
Okay. I just think, I don't know, Josh Allen might do it all himself.
I like that. I like that.
Are you adding it? Okay, you added it. Is that added as a win or a loss? That's a win.
Okay, win. That's going to be a big-time are you for real game for the Bills, too.
If they blow them out, then it's like, yeah, okay, this Bills team has found themselves. Joshua's the AFC Offensive Player of the Week.
Yes. Hank.
Falcons football team. Whoa! Kind of gross.
Yeah. Sounds disgusting when you say it.
Yeah. But the football team defense is bad.
The Falcons are bad, but Matty Ryan's good. I feel like there's going to be.
Yeah. I mean, he's a good quarterback.
He can get points on the board. He's also susceptible for some pick sixes.
He's already thrown a bunch this year. Yep.
I just feel like it's going to be a sneaky over. Give us, so PFT, give us your, like, choose your own adventure.
Uh-huh. Washington football team wins, and Washington football team loses.
Where are you at? Okay, so it does scare me that Arthur Blank kept the beard. That's terrifying to me.
But if I were to give my three keys for victory for the Washington football team, number one would be pin your ears back. Yep.
No, no. Let me write these down.
I'm sorry. Yeah, no, that's number two.
I spoke to you soon. Number one is actually dial something up.
So Jack Del Rio needs to dial something up this week. Number two is the defense needs to pin their ears back.
And then number three is just convince Arthur Smith to shave the beard. I think I said Arthur blank earlier.
But that's okay. He doesn't have a beard.
He still has the creepy ghost mustache. It's just dawning on me that they have two arches.
Two arches, yeah.

It's not good. No.
But if

the football team loses,

I'm done.

If the football team loses and the Cowboys win, it feels

like. If the football team loses, they're

going to also lose their next six games because

they have the hardest schedule in the NFL.

We have to get to December within

four games of 500, and then we play all of our division games. Then anything can happen in the NFL.
We have to get to December within like four games of 500,

and then we play all of our division games.

Then anything can happen in the NFC beast.

But right now, yeah, if you don't beat the Falcons,

then you were never going to be good to begin with.

I also have started to do this thing in my head.

I think probably people will relate to it,

but with this extra game, the fact that there's 18 weeks,

in my head I'm saying to myself, there are so many more extra games. Like there's a ton a ton of time.
But there's not. There's one.
There's one. There's one extra.
But it feels like, oh, they're going to play regular season games in January. This season, you have so much time to make up if you lose.
Do you know what I'm saying, though, when it comes to the dial something up? That's something that I think most fan bases can relate to, where if you have a defense that just sucks,

and like I said, no bullshitting this week, we suck.

If you can't get to the quarterback, you just ask the defense,

hey, dial something up for us real quick. Dial it up.

So Jack Del Rio, if you're listening, I know that you're a big AWL shout-out to you.

Dial something up.

Dial it up.

Who are we at?

Where are we at?

Jake.

Cleveland, Minnesota, over 52.

Also a fun one.

Both teams averaging around 29 points per game, so keep that up. Like it.
Dome overs. All right, we're on unders because Billy has the same one as Bubba.
I think we hit almost all the games. I'm doing, we've already hit this game, Bears-Lions under 42.
I just don't. I mean, this game's going to suck.
Yep. That'll be a good one to bet the under on.
I don't see any way that it goes over that. If Nick Foles plays, it will probably drop to like 37.
Yeah. It'll be like a tornado's coming through.
It also might be one of those games where one team scores like 20 points and the other scores three. Like one team's going to finish this game in single digits.
Yep. Yep.
All right. You're under.
My under. This is almost a lock for me, actually.
Whoa. So you're counting this as a win in the Billy method.
Yeah, in my Billy metrics. This is my lock of the year so far.
Panthers-Cowboys under 51.5. Because I was alerted to this stat earlier this week from Adam Kamalinder.
Every single game that the Panthers have played in this year, the total has been exactly 33. Wow.
33 games three times in a row.

That's crazy.

51 and a half in this game.

Is that a scorigami?

It's the opposite of scorigami.

Three times in a row, though.

They're addicted to non-scorigamis.

33.

They're conformists.

That just means it's going to be a 66.

It's going to double it?

Yeah.

I don't know.

I'm feeling the under.

Okay.

51 and a half.

Take the under.

Bubba.

Titans-Jets. Okay.
I feel like the Jets can't score. Yeah, stinky game.
There are some stinkers on this slate, the Bears and the Lions and the Titans and the Jets. I think the Bears and the Lions is going to be good.
Washington football team Falcons could maybe be in that stinker category. Oh, yes.
You know what sucks is that as citizens of New York City, the greatest city on earth. Not me.
We get traded. Or Liam.
Or Billy. You know what? New Jersey is where the Jets are from.
So you own the Jets. That's on you.
We're going to have to watch the Jets if you don't have the Sunday ticket. You have to watch Jets Titans this week.
Or the fucking Giants. Like, it's disgusting.
I can't wait until Apple or Amazon buys it all. So let us watch every game.
We're in 2021. We should never, there should never be a game that takes place that you can't watch.
I have this, the DirecTV Sunday ticket thing, but it's like, I put the Patriots on that and it's behind. So if anything happens, it just shows up on Red Zone.
Yeah. So crack streams pretty much got shut down.
So now there are a million different fake crack streams websites out there. And I had to one down for the football team bills game last week because i was watching at my house and uh it's tough it's tough my computer is just it's just swimming in spyware right yeah are you scared that billy's a cop i'm very i know that billy's a cop he is it's so tough to find that tiny little fucking x to click on oh yeah and if you click on the wrong x it's like Congratulations, you've just bought 17 Chinese children.
And 14 boner pills.

Yeah, yeah. And if you click on the wrong X, it's like, congratulations, you've just bought 17 Chinese children.
And 14 boner pills. Yeah, exactly.
So FBI, I'm sorry. I was just trying to watch Josh Allen kick my ass.
Yeah. Yeah, you click on that wrong X, and all of a sudden, you've got a bunch of chicks who are like, are you horny? Because I live right next door to you.
Yeah, horny. I never knew there were so many horny singles in my area looking to fuck.

Jake.

Yo, Hank.

You're under.

Patriots, Buccaneers.

With the Gronk news.

That one, that was a big factor into it.

I've ignored that data.

I'm just going to keep going with it.

I think he's sick.

I think Brady, I heard, is a little bit sick.

A lot of emotions. Patriots can't score anyway.
Bucs start slow. I like it.
That's my under. That was last week they were sick, though.
That was like a week ago. I saw some rumors that Brady was having a cold as well.
He's got long cold. Well, if there's a bug going around, it can get to different people at different times.
I don't know if you know how sickness and germs work. I don't, but I did see that Tom Brady said after the game, this is actually lending credence to what you're saying, he said that his arm wasn't tired, but his throat was really sore.
But he said it was from yelling so much, but maybe it was just because he's got strep. It could be.
I mean, also, again, Gronk was a big factor in this decision, so just factor that into your understanding of my decisions. Got it.
Yep. I'm sticking with it.
All right. Jake and Billy to wrap us up.
Colts Dolphins under 42.5. This screams like a 20-16 final.
Don't know which way, but low scoring. And Billy? Seahawks 49ers.
Oh. Under 52.
We haven't talked about this game. Yeah.
I looked at the teams. I was like, I don't think they're going to go over.
I looked at the number and it was 52. Whoa, this is surprising.
And I was like, that's not going over. I don't mind this pick actually because the Seahawks.
When you say, I don't think it's going to go over. Do you have a number in your mind? Yeah.
It's kind of like. What did your computer say? So like you look at Bill's text and you're like, yeah, this could go over.
And then you look at. Over what? Just like.
It's over. It's like an over game.
Just like a general. Like consensus.
And then you look at bill's text and you're like yeah this could go over and then you look what just like it's over it's like an over game just like a general like consensus and then you look at the number of the bill's texting game it's 47 you're like that's one of the lower overs uh-huh i'm like so yeah i could hit but this one was the opposite what did this one feel like it seahawks 49ers like oh this is like a scuzzy game it's a scuzzy game and then i look at the over and, oh, that's not going over. Too many points.
Too many points. So I don't think that you're far off on this because the Seahawks are last in the league in times of possession.
And they don't score in the second half. They don't score in the second half.
But if you're Pete Carroll, this is the kind of guy Pete Carroll is. He sees that stat that says that we are last in the league in terms of how much we control the clock.
And if you're a football guy, what do you say to that? You're like, well, we just got to run the ball better. We have to establish the run.
So Pete Carroll is going to go out there. He's going to be like, I'm not going to let Russ cook.
This is Carson city. I'm just going to run the ball, run the damn ball and run the damn ball all afternoon.
But this is also a loss. One of my 50 fifties that I'm playing.
This is a loss. All right.
Why don't you tell us that? Well, no, because it's just... All right.
Please keep track, Jake. A separate tab of which ones he expects to lose and which one he expects to win.
Wait. Billy, when you're looking at these two teams, you actually think that it's an over team.
Yeah, the Seahawks have scored like 30 in the past three games. So you just lied to us.
No, but when I looked at it... That's also not true.
They haven't scored 30 in squirted. I have like multiple voices telling me different things in my head.
You're schizophrenic. Got it.
Okay. I will say, Rap, since he introduced this method, you hit both his over and under last week.
Okay. So we'll see.
The only other game we didn't talk about, which is actually a great game, is the Broncos and the Ravens. The true are the Broncos for real.
They've played three teams. They're 0-9, and the Ravens have played some pretty good teams.
We're going to walk away from this being like, watch out for the Broncos, or yeah, that's exactly what we thought the Broncos were. They need to let Justin Tucker try a 76-yard field goal in this game in the thin air up in Mile High.
A weapon. Yeah, do it for the people.
Let us see. He just got upgraded to a 99 on Madden, which I don't know what Justin Tucker was before as a kicker.

Yeah, what the hell?

But now he's a 99 on Madden for a limited time, they said.

This is a rat line, though.

Hank pointed this out to me the other day.

It's Broncos minus one.

Yeah.

It's a rat.

Everyone wants to bet on the Ravens this week.

I think Lamar Jackson has diarrhea.

He hasn't practiced for the last two days.

Some are saying it's from the flip that he did into the end zone. I don't know.
But yeah, I think two weeks ago. Yeah, it was.
That's okay. But that was the same as the bug.
Yeah, exactly. That was last week.
Hank, do you have any idea how sicknesses and illnesses get transmitted and spread? Not from doing flips into the end zone. Okay.
Well, anyways, I think I'm going to be a big square on this one. Take the Ravens.
I am as well. Okay.
Wait, there's one other. What? We didn't talk about the Giants-Saints.
Oh, yeah, that's right. Damn.
Hurricane Ida. Yeah, Saints are back.
Predicted Jameis Winston's stat line. 17 for 28, 143 yards, six touchdowns.
I like it it I actually think the Giants might win this game

they're gonna win one

they're in my

they're in my

I haven't put the Jags in the

well I guess this would be time traveling

this would look really stupid

but I haven't put the Jags in

they're gonna win one category yet

but I've put the Jets

the Colts

and the Giants

and they're gonna win one

and the Lions actually

there's four teams in there

they're gonna win one

are they in your hungry dog parlay?

yes

okay

alright

love it Hank

I'm going up. It's Cherokee Wilkins.
Hey, mate. Hey, bro.
Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi. I'm going up.

It's Cherokee Wilkins.

My start on this week

is At Lava.

What?

At Lava?

At Lava.

At Lava, idiot.

The Kilauella volcano

went off on the main island,

so if you like lava,

go to Hawaii

and get it while it's hot.

Get it while it's hot.

Like a spot of tea.

I love hot lava myself. Hawaii.
hot lava I call them beers My sit-um is Sturgill Simpson Hello PFT's best mate Right Rocked his vocal cords He's not going to be making music for a while So if he's on your musical fantasy team Put him on the bench That was That was my sit-um this week. Yeah.
Oh, damn. You bloody nicked my sit-um.
That's what I do, mate. Pickpocket.
My sleeper is Coral Patterson. Oh, no.
He can run. Nice one.
He can catch. He can return.
He's Scottish, isn't he? He can do it all. He's poised for a big game this weekend.
Oh, love it, huh off your wavers love it bro if he's on your bench put him in your starting line up T T and crump right hey this is Adele right hello hello hello hello hello hello innit it's me you're looking for my start arm is Brittany Spe is Britney Spears. Britney Spears.
No, Britney Spears. Overrated.
Britney Spears. No, yes.
She's free of her conservatorship, innit. Free to make money on her own.
Great Britney. Very proud of you.
You shone on, girl. Her governor? Her governor? Yeah.
My sit-um was Sturgill Simpson before I nicked it, innit. Oh, fuck, I'm a pick-pocket.
He's got a sore throat, a throat sore, then Tom Brady. Yeah, we talked about this.
Take him to London Tower. You fucking bollocks, I'm a turtles all the way down.
Turtles all the way down. Bronxie.
Obladee, obladee. If the turtles were blessed with a visit from Ricky Aguayo.
Oh. My sleep He's splitting half like a summer sausage.
Correct. Black pudding.
My sleeper is Odell Beckham. Odell? Odell Beckham.
Odell Beckham, distant relative of our beloved footy legend, David, traveling to Minnesota, saying hello, governor, to Christy Noem, just next door. Yeah.
She likes getting shit on all the time. Bend it like Beckham.
In the news. In the news that is.
Thank you. Thank you.
This was Adele. Hello.
My name is Benedict Withersdown. Hi.
Hello. My startum is Joelid, because he said, I don't get on a scale.

It's not good for my mental health.

For your mental.

For the mental.

Vassal, what are kilograms?

Too many bangers and mash.

Yeah, you chickens.

Don't even look at your weights.

Or your kilos, I'm sorry.

No, no, stone.

Stone.

Stone.

I'm three stone.

Stone.

Pounds just mean strike cash, homie.

Nephew. It's just like borrow the chase.
It's cash. Cash bets.
Why, Sam, is laundry? That fuck is going to get fucking taken by dog. Oh, I put my laundry away yesterday.
Oh, no. It's just that.
It's dirty. It's just that whale fin jersey done yet.
Not GTA. We still do GTA.
Shout out to our fantasy fuckboys. Brian.
Brian. Brian.
Brian. Fuck Brian.
yeah yeah that's what you got Oh my home Where is he is in the swamp yeah he's in the swamp he's on the island I don't know acapella go watch out for the yeah my sleepers sweaters because of sweater season now for the big boys for the big for the units for the lads Oh, your jumper? Sweater puppies. Yeah, my jumper season.
It's going to save us. Because maybe you're going to be the one that saves me.
And after all, you boys are big and tall. Love the Beatles.
Long live the Queen.

Oi, it's Horace Wickermanshire.

Am I stardom?

Horace?

Horace?

Horace?

Horace, my friend's called me...

You fucking bitch, Horace.

We already talked about Sturgill Simpson.

No, no, no.

Do Sturgill again, Horace.

Horace, you've caught...

I haven't seen you in years.

All my buddies call me whore.

My stardom is... Damn, that's good.
I tried. Are you Mr.
Bean? Maybe. On the weekend? Oh, in my stardom is Sam Allinger.
He's back and he's at practice today. Practice.
Practice. Yes.
Practice. Doing a little footing with the boys.
He's tuned up with the trainers. He's tuned up.
He's tuned his little tweaked knees. All good.
And now my serum is our fans.

Yes.

Fans.

Oh, yeah.

We got a change of the season.

Hey, fans are back.

No, but fans are gone.

I thought fans were back.

It's too cold nowadays for your fans.

Fans on your walls.

Just use the app.

Fans on your walls.

Fan app.

Fan app.

No, no more fans.

No free ads.

No.

Is there an Irishman in here?

No, it's a Scotland.

Kill him. It's a Scotland.
I've declared Prima Nocta on Billy Foy. Oh, no.
So, turn your fans off. It's too cold.
I've had her on since May. So, I mean, that's a big sit-em.
All right. My sleep is the debt ceiling.
That's very funny. No more debt.
No more debt. Put it to sleep.
Good night. Good night.
All right. Thank you for tuning in.
We should just go right to the ad because I don't know what we can say after that. I actually thought Billy's accent was really good.
Billy's was the best. Billy was Liverpudlian.
Your accent was from... Horace.
No, it went from this to Scottish pretty quickly. Yeah.
First one. No, but which one? Then you went back to the Beatles accent and you're like The Queen The Queen The Queen I actually got a pretty decent accent Yeah you do Roger Bennett The thing is now I can't get out of it Ted Lasso has saved American football Jason Sudeikis I'm on it One of us probably should have mentioned James Bond Oh James Bond What happened to him This weekend Connor McGregor killed him I think so weekend.
Conor McGregor said he's dead. By the way, Joe Embiid is like, he finally quoted it and was like, I hate Ben Simmons too.
Yeah. So that's good.
I do like the idea of a Ben Simmons, Kyrie Irving, just straight up trade. Just be like, it's a major, here he's your problem.
Yeah. Yeah.
I don't know what, like, so Ben, is Ben Simmons going to just hold out? Is that what's going to happen? I don't know. Seems weird.

What is he holding out against?

The owner of GM or whatever said it was like he compared it to the Aaron Rodgers situation.

So that's what the Sixers think.

Yeah, this is uncharted territory because whenever you have a holdout or a guy demanding a trade,

it's because he's really, really good and his team sucks and he's like, the franchise won't support me.

It's the exact opposite.

The team is good and Ben Simmons sucks.

Yeah.

So it's like, you have all the support.

You are just the problem.

He's like, we need to get more support around the rest of my team.

Yeah.

So I'm holding out.

Right.

It's bizarre.

I mean, the way that he played in the playoffs,

you could probably stomach paying him like $25 million a year

to not play during the postseason.

Yes.

That might be a key championship piece.

To not just pass up dunks. Yeah.
Daryl Morey. that's the next sabermetric revolution all right we have justin thomas on to talk a little rider cup and then we're going to do cm punk who's in person great interview with him uh pft you got a quick word from our sponsor though yeah i want to talk to you guys about sling if you if you're thinking about cutting the cord if you're thinking about distancing yourself from cable television, well, Sling is the very, very best way to do it, especially if you love watching live sports like us.
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That's sling.com slash barstool, sign up now, get your first month at just $10. Now here is Justin Thomas thomas okay we now welcome on a very special guest it is justin thomas he is fresh off a rider cup victory he's one of the best golfers in the world uh jt can i call you jt yeah that's cool all right fine i'm gonna call you jt jt you're coming off the rider cup we gotta ask the first question everyone's asking it is this the best rider cup team of all time for the u.s i mean it's hard to argue that we weren't it's it's i mean we put up the most points in history um i mean it's selfishly i might be just slightly biased but uh until someone puts up 20 or 19 and a half points or 20 points, I think we have that right at this moment.
Man, can you imagine doubting this United States team going into the Ryder Cup and rooting for the Europeans, and then the American team puts up a record amount of points? Nope. Couldn't do it.
Not this podcast. Nope.
Absolutely not. Tough scene.
Tough scene. We were always all in.
And, you know, you guys played great. It was awesome to watch.
I do have a real question, though, about the Ryder Cup because there was a debate in this office. How much does it, like, actually mean to you? Because golf is such an individual sport.
And then to switch over to a team atmosphere, is it like this is awesome because it's country? Or is it a little bit weird at times? You're like, hey, I don't usually play with teammates. Yeah, it's one of those things that's kind of hard to describe.
I think, at least for me, I'm not exactly proud of probably what a lot of the Europeans maybe think of me while I'm out there. But it's just, I don't know, it's something about the tournament and the emotions.
It just brings, at least for me personally, brings out a total different side of all of us. I mean, I remember, you know, playing Rory last year in singles.
It was like, I mean, Rory and I are very, very close. We get along very well, spend a lot of time together in Jupiter.
But it's like when we go play each other, we want to kill each other. I mean, we want to just that's that's how it is.
And then as soon as the match is over, we shake hands and move on. And it's I just think the fact that you are able to represent your country and really show that kind of emotion, because we never get that opportunity to just act like a total buffoon out there.
And I take full advantage of it. It's a good time.
What about the other side of it when it comes to cheering for somebody that you're used to competing against because they are playing for the United States? Is that weird? Because I know for us, like I found myself rooting for Bryson DeChambeau a little bit,

which I don't think I've ever done in my life. But getting to enjoy him hitting one of those bombs, I was like, all right, that's cool.
He's representing the United States. Is it weird for you to put yourself in a position where you're cheering for the guys that you usually compete against? For sure.
I mean, I said that to a bunch of the guys. I mean, especially, you know, playing a lot of matches with Jordan and how good of a putter he is.
I'm like, I can't express how great it is rooting for these putts to go in. The amount of times I have watched him make 20-footers against me, whether it's in a money game or in a tournament or a patch or Cantlay or whatever.
And it's like, I'm so happy that

these guys are on my team kind of thing. And it is fun to be able to root for them.
And everybody just kind of bought in. I mean, everyone was, their egos didn't get in the way.
It was all about the team. It was just, everything was about what we, what can we do to make this week enjoyable and make the team as best as possible.
And I think it showed. Would you say that Brooks was the best teammate because he was able to stomach Bryson for an entire week?

I mean it was it was impressive watching them get along because I mean I think a lot of people are like oh you know it's all for show it's all for this but I mean I watched them many times talking whether it was working out together because both of them are meatheads and feel the need to work out at 9 30 at night or whatever it is and and you know talking together off the golf course whether it was eating or whatnot so I don't know I mean it definitely threw me for a loop because I did not think that they were going to be that social but they uh they were great and um I don't know if they're back to hating each other or what's going to go on there but wow this is I I didn't realize it so it really was like a rocky four like if i could change you can change kind of thing where they they genuinely were spending let's not say well i mean tons of time together but they were you did witness them talking conversing eating not fighting yeah absolutely that's why brooks is the best yeah because he can it shows it shows that Brooks really, credit to him for being the bigger man in that situation, where he kind of, it was up to him to meet Bryson halfway. Took him under his wing.
Yeah, took Bryson under his wing, kind of showed him the ropes. Because Brooks is, who is Captain America this time around? Because I know that Brooks, he's had good showings in the past.
We know that Patrick Reed has obviously came out pretty strong in some past Ryder Cups. Who would you say gets the label of Captain America in this tournament? I mean, the fact DJ went 5-0 and then put together one of the greatest press conference performances of all time, I think it's pretty hard to not give it to DJ this year.
The after party's got to be the best because when you win a real tournament, I know you obviously are able to party, it's usually you know your caddy and your family you guys i'm sure had a great time afterwards you know being able to party as a team for sure and it's one of those things it's like i mean even jordan and i we talked about it for it's kind of pathetic to be honest for for weeks we're like i can't wait for that sunday night at the rider cup like it is fun and it's i mean we had a blast in France when we lost. I mean, we got our asses kicked and we still had a great time on Sunday night, you know, partying together.
And the teams always seem to end up together. You know, I mean, those European, especially those European caddies, they know how to have a good time and and everybody just kind of gets together and the golf is over and you're not really, you know, thinking about it or talking about anything.
You just kind of want to get together and have some beers together. And yeah, we definitely did that.
Yeah. The other big question, I think, coming out of the last couple of weeks here, do you do you think that Max Homa's Fortnite Open Invitational win should have an asterisk on it because the field wasn't so strong? I'm glad you brought it up because I was going to bring it up.
But yeah, I think it's got to, right? tournament do you think that's a real tournament i mean we we do because we love max and he's a friend of ours but like if we're just talking privately like me pft and jt right now not a real tournament yeah man boy i hate to do that to max i mean uh i mean i get this is private. You could also argue that it really wasn't even Max

because with that mustache, it doesn't even look like him.

Right.

You could say that, like, this new alter ego kind of has one win,

and then Max is in another category.

So I don't know.

This is the Wario version of Max.

It's Wax Homa.

Yeah.

I saw that you love to pull pranks.

I saw that you pulled the prank of, like, basically,

was it walking out of a Ryder Cup meeting and being like, I can't believe we pick Phil or something like that. Yeah.
Did you ever think about maybe doing that with Max or is like that prank is too far. It's like so unbelievable.
No, it actually be like, oh, Max home was on the team. Yeah, I should have done that with with with wax home.
I probably would have started more, but that was fine. I don't know what it was.
It just was like I saw those guys that were kind of standing there outside of dinner, and I'm like, God, these guys are going to lose their mind. This is going to be perfect.
And, I mean, all of them literally were just like looking around like, oh, my God, they're going to pick Phil. And I'm like, ah, it worked out perfectly.
It would have been funny if you did Max, and then they just put you in a psych ward. They're like, all right, Justin Thomas has lost his mind.
So I got a question. So we're big.
You know us. We're big golf fans.
We're big grow the game guys. I want to give you a chance to acquit yourself on the 2018 incident where you might have ejected a fan and said.
There was no might. Okay.
Okay. So I'll read the quote.

I'll read the tweet.

And then you tell me where it's wrong.

After hitting his T-shot in 16, Justin Thomas signaled for a fan to be ejected from the

gallery for a get in the bunker cheer.

He's Justin Thomas said, enjoy your day, buddy.

You're done.

That's that is verbatim.

I think what, uh, what I said, um, yeah, it was, it was definitely one of the moments

I'm not, uh, not proud of, especially cause it's like, man, people have said some crazy and absurd things. And, and of all things like that's the guy I chose to throw out.
I mean, I could definitely think of, you know, I've had some people get personal levels of family or something like I probably should have chose that person, not the guy that was just drunk out of his mind that had been following us for a couple of years. So yeah, I clearly would not have had that over, but I wish I could have like made it an interaction to where I could have maybe screwed with them a little bit.
Cause it is, it is fun how people outside the ropes think they're invincible, but it's also like, I know I'm invincible in the ropes and it's fun to screw with people sometimes with that. Yeah.
So, all right. So you're, you're, you admit that you did it, but you also regret it, and it's kind of a soft move.
So, I think that's good. I can take you off my – It was very soft.
Yeah. It was very soft, 100%.
Although, I do love the, like, enjoy your day, buddy. You're done.
Like, you're a baseball ump. You're like, you're out of here.
Yeah. That's kind of cool.
Can you just eject anybody? It sounds like you have ultimate unchecked power if you're between the ropes. You just get get to point at a guy and be like, get that guy out of my face and they'll do it.
Well, I think Bryson's proven that. But, yeah, you can you can pretty much eject anybody.
But it's it is. And I think a lot of it is that it's just to people.
Like I said, when you're behind the ropes, you feel like you can say whatever you want. And I've I've heard of multiple instances where people get just a personal level, whether it's calling out something in your family or whatever it is.
And I've had it happen where guys – I remember playing with Rory a couple years ago at Riv, Riviera, and someone said something about him, and I happened to be there. And I just said – I was like, was that you that said that? And he's just like, oh, no.
He's kind of giving He's kind of given the whole like it wasn't me. And all of his buddies are pointing at him and it's very clear.
And I'm like, no, it's fine. Like, I want to hear you say it again.
He's like, I didn't say anything like why you said it when I wasn't looking. But say, go ahead and say it to my face or say, say what you think about him.
And it's and they feel like they can't say anything at that point. So it's it is a weird thing.
But at the same time, you know, it's kind of what makes the game.

I think the fact that we're close enough unlike you know football or or basketball or whatever it is like we're literally from an arm's length from each other you hear everything and sometimes your emotions get the best of you what about a sarcastic you're gonna love that would you get upset about that because i love to do that at golf tournaments where no matter where the ball goes I'm just like you're gonna love that is that okay uh yeah I mean there's nothing I just think as long as it doesn't like go across the line of being inappropriate or vulgar I think I mean anything's fine especially nowadays especially with you all I mean people have gotten so many so many whether it's uh not chance but just things or phrases or something to say. But I mean, I would say the overwhelming, funniest comments you get are from the volunteers.
It's because, you know, you'll hit one offline and they're standing there and like they've been thinking the whole time when you're walking up like, you know, what am I going to say? And you come up and they're like, oh, you're really not going to like this one. I'm like, thanks, asshole.
I appreciate that. It's the last thing I want to hear is like, oh, nobody's got it on the green from here.
That's great. Those are some of the funniest ones that no one really hears.
We're not hypothetically if, you know, this probably never happened on a golf course, but if somebody called you by the wrong name after you hit a tee shot, if they were like, hey, nice shot, Dustin. Yeah.
Would you get mad at that? Yeah. Would that really irritate you? I mean, I get called Jordan every single round I play.
So we jokingly in Atlanta, I played with Bryson on Friday or maybe Saturday, and we were walking off the third green, and someone was like, go get him Jordan and my caddy Jimmy, and I just kind of looked at each other. We're like, should we throw him out? Just as a joke.
We got a good kick out of that, and Bryson did too. But no, there's a lot worse things you could call me than the wrong name.
I know you're very close with Tiger Woods two-part question one is how is he doing and two what is the best advice he's given you because I know um I'm sure he's got like endless amounts of advice but if there's one thing that has like stuck with you that you always bring up uh when you're in like a big tournament or on a Sunday and you have the lead or whatever it may be I mean the the well first off he's first off he's doing, he's doing great. I mean, it's, he's progressing amazingly.
I mean, it's groundhog day for him. He does the same thing every day, but I think he kind of understands that's, that's a part of where he's at.
Um, but he has given me a lot of advice. He gives me a lot more when he's not playing because when he is playing, that's just, that's his, his killer instinct is nature of not really wanting to tell you too much.
But it's simpler than I think everybody would think. It's just more about being patient, having good body language.
Because I think especially – I remember the players talking to him Saturday night, and he's like, you've got to go out. I was in the second-to-last group.
He's like, you've got to go out and have good body language tomorrow. Those guys are going to be watching you.
They're going to see you, whether you're playing great, not playing great, kind of wait on your run type thing. But if they see me kind of walking around like DJ does when he's playing well, Rory does when he's playing well, then it's sometimes when you're watching that can kind of wear on you.
Has he softened a little bit? Because it's got to be really weird. I'm just thinking about this right now.
The Tiger Woods, everyone knows him as the competitor, this cutthroat guy that, you know, he always was mentally just way ahead of everyone. But now, because golf is a sport that you can play into your 40s, he has a group of guys now that all idolized him growing up.
Like, I'm sure you, like, that's part of the reason why you got into golf have you noticed that at all that he's maybe softened a little bit a little bit more open to advice you know giving advice or giving tips well the thing about it for me is that this is the only tiger I've known you know what I mean like I obviously watched on TV and I've all I've heard from everybody is like he was never like this he like he would have never known he were he wouldn't. And I, I, first off, I don't really know what to say back to people when they tell me that, like, I don't just, okay, thanks.
I don't really know what, how to acknowledge that, but I just think he, his perspective has changed. I mean, I know he, how much he loves his kids and spend the time with his kids, but also he, you know, he knows that his, his years of playing are winding down

and not only just with his age, but just with his injuries. And, but, but when he is playing, I mean, I couldn't be more serious.
Like he just is, he's, he's still that killer. I mean, yeah, he's probably going to be more talkative in practice rounds or, or off the golf course, but But, I mean, he just – he still – there's a great –

there's so many great instances and stories of what he did or what he has done. But playing with him in the President's Cup and kind of seeing him in that mode as my teammate was something I'll remember for a long time because he was playing well and just watching him plot his way around the course and watching him handle his emotions and and just kind of pick it apart was was pretty sweet.
So if you're competing against him, a guy that you grew up idolizing, do you have to almost pretend to not be intimidated until you start to believe that you're not intimidated by him? Or how does that work? Yeah, a couple of years ago in his event at the Hero in Bahamas, we were both kind of in contention going into the back nine.

And I mean, I totally screwed up. I was so worried about only beating him as opposed to trying to win the golf tournament.
And he had a bad back nine. I didn't have a very good last like seven holes.
And I just was I think I was like tired for the lead through 11 or with seven holes to go. and I just was so concerned with what he was doing that I was just trying to beat him when there were three or four other people I should have been trying to beat, too.
So that was a learning experience for me is the first time I kind of got in contention with him also in contention while playing with him. You're just that that's kind of the tiger effect that everyone would talk about is you're just so worried about what he's doing instead of just going through your emotions and playing like you would any other week so um i'll never forget that because i remember getting done and feeling like such an idiot and like i'd never even been there before yeah uh so i own the uh the pga tour 2k 21 video game i play it a lot play it frequently um i've always wondered about the selection of cover art on there because it's you, you're wearing like a vest and you've got camouflage, like almost like Baltimore Ravens fan style camouflage pants that you're wearing with your golf outfit.
Was that your selection? Uh, no, not entirely. No, I had, it was probably, it was kind of like a couple options type thing but it was um yeah that was uh that was kind of an outside choice it looks like yeah almost a little bit of stolen valor with these pants were you committing stolen valor in retrospect yeah i mean it was a pair of pants that i wore once as opposed to a pair of pants that i wear all the time so uh i think that probably answers the question yeah so Did you get yelled at for drinking a beer during the competition last weekend? I didn't get yelled at.
Strick had a good time just kind of messing with us. And, I mean, just from being a sports fan and seeing, like, all the Bucs games, you know, that's kind of their Wisconsin's thing is chugging a beer.
And I forget the lineman's name that just absolutely deletes beers on the floor. So Boog and I go out there and we're like, we just got to get the crowd going.
And so we took, it was his idea to get a bag full of beers, Red Bulls, Five Hour Energies. We just started throwing them up.
And then they started chanting chug a beer. And we just kind of like looking at each other like, I just don know if we should do that and then it but like we want to and then the two people threw beers down and we're like we got to do this like this crowd is going to go ballistic and they're going to get so into it so we did it they went nuts we get done and strick was like just joking with us he's like man he's like now i'm gonna have to answer these questions about you guys chugging a beer and i just looked at him i.
I was like, you should have played me. That's what you get for sitting me.
He's like, if you had played me, it wouldn't have been an issue. So he got a good kick out of that, and I'm glad it all worked out.
Yeah, you're not on the clock. You can yug if you want to.
That's fine. Who gets to hang on to the Ryder Cup? Do you guys pass it around, or does it live somewhere? I've unfortunately never been a part of a winning Ryder Cup team, so I don't know exactly how it works, but I do think that everybody gets it for a week.

I don't know if that's entirely true,

but I hope it is because it'd be fun to go some places

or have some fun with it.

Kind of like the Stanley Cup,

have like a cup party or something like that.

You should take it to Europe and just walk around with it.

Just an alpha move?

Yeah, just like take a week-long vacation in London

and just walk through the streets, just drinking out of it on the street.

That would be good.

That's a good idea.

Do you make it?

Now, how does it work for next time?

Are they going to try to keep the team together?

Are you kind of on it no matter what, or do you have to keep playing well?

Yeah, it just starts a whole new point system.

I mean, we've got the President's Cup next year, so try to play and and get our way on that one and same with the Ryder Cup it's uh yeah Berger jokingly was like can we just keep this team like can we just kind of like I'll sign these 12 guys up for the you know for two years but you know a lot of things happen in two year stretch but we do have a great group of young guys that are fully capable of uh making the team again again in Rome well and Max is on the team as of right now because he's won the only tournament Max is ranked number one in the FedEx points so he's projected to make it to Atlanta at this moment yes yes um you can't break up a team that scores the the highest amount of points in cup history I feel like that'd be foolish right unless somebody gets busted for steroids or something. And then we put Max in.
Which definitely won't happen. Correct.
The 400-yard drives happen naturally. Yeah.
Yeah. Maybe you can settle a bet here on this podcast.
What is the fifth major? I mean, the players, I would say, is the fifth major. Not the Travelers? Not the Travelers? The Travelers is awesome.
Man. Yeah, is that what it's between? Is those two? Waste management? I think it's John Deere, Travelers, Players.
Yeah. Jake, where else? I think it's those three, so you decide.
Bay Hill? Bay Hill. It's really whatever tournament Brooksoks wins then we just decide that that is the fifth major but if you want to give us what you think the fifth major is we'll honor that i'm gonna go with the players for the time being since it was the whopping one of win that i had last year so i might be slightly biased um yeah i see where you're coming from i mean brooks brooks might need to start winning some more more tournaments so we can get more major options in there.
Well, he's coming off of almost an amputated leg. Yeah, he's actually a hero.
He basically can't walk. And he was out there.
Wrist. And hand, pretty much, too, right? Yeah, that root.
That root attacked him. So we're going to put that root in jail.
I had one last question. It's not really a question.
It's more like you're kind of a jerk for the fact that you're like an incredible golfer, a millionaire, and also you get to root for Alabama football because you went there. So, yeah, it's not really a question.
It's just like how dare you? Yeah, no, I get that. I mean, jealousy is a terrible trait.
I understand that. It is.
But I'm very fortunate to go for the Tide. tide and I was curious for you guys what are we thinking on this college football slate this weekend because it is unbelievable yes it's incredible so why don't you because you have a curse last time you made a prediction on game day uh the tide lost to LSU we were we're Joe Burrow guys we're Coach O guys give us a prediction for Tide versus Ole Miss this weekend.
I think it's going to be a shootout. I think – I mean, Lane Kiffin is one of a kind, and I think he knows Coach's ways pretty well.
But he's actually – although he might not fully be there, he's a hell of a play caller. So I think it's going to be a shootout.
But I don't think the Tide's going to, but I think the win. Okay.
That's fair. That's a little bit of rat poison.
So, yeah, go ahead. No, I was going to say, you talked to Coach Saban on the phone.
Is he – are you going to say the thing like, oh, he's actually really nice and funny? Because I love when people are like, yeah, no, he's actually one of the funniest guys. Like, there's no chance.
He wins championships. That's what he does.
He does. Yeah.
Funny is definitely not how I would describe Coach. he's he wins championships that's what he does he does yeah funny is definitely not uh how I would describe coach um he's uh he is serious he's not yeah it's funny is not funny is not it he's um he is I mean he's good when he gets kind of outside the the football space I mean, the time spent with him on the golf course,

he absolutely loves golf, and he loves that part of it.

But, yeah, like you said, I love Coach to death,

and he's a great, great dude.

He is, but funny is probably not the first thing.

He'd be mad if you said he was funny.

He'd be like, what the hell?

That's probably a good point.

Yeah.

All right, so we'll let you go. But before we do, give us a prediction or a guarantee.
I'll ask guarantee i'll ask for a guarantee guarantee how many wins are you going to get on the tour this year a guarantee um i'm going to go with six wow okay we have no idea if that's a lot yeah just it it sounds like a lot. It's more than Max got it.
How many are there? How many? 30? Yeah, 30. Probably 35 or, I shouldn't know that.
Probably 40-ish. Okay, so that is a lot.
That's a considerable amount of wins. That would probably set some records.
Yeah. We're trying.
Okay. Alright, well, best of luck.
Thank uh thank you so much jt and uh congrats again on the rider cup america thanks thank you boys yeah appreciate it it's for america here we go jt was brought to you by our great friends at coors light if you ever feel like you're always on you might need a moment to chill if you want to hit the reset get ready for what's next. You need a moment to chill.
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Now here is CM Punk. And now for something completely different.
Okay, we now welcome on a recurring guest and good friend, CM Punk. You are a recurring guest.
I am. This is the second time I've been here.
Yeah, and it means whenever we call you, you have to come on. If that's true, then I feel like I should have been here much more frequently.
If that's true, then it's kind of on us for not inviting you on more often. That's fine.
You guys cover a myriad of different things, so you guys have a whole talent pool to choose from. I was trying to remember the last time you were on, so you were talking about the movie that you were in, but it was like right before the pandemic, right? I don't know if it was right.
It was before the pandemic. I don't know if it was right it was before the pandemic i don't know if it was right before the pandemic maybe like a year before yeah that covet thing that's crazy yeah that happened it's happening it's not over it's still going on no they um i saw uh eva longoria demanded that it stop so oh she she like issued a statement to the world leaders being like end the pandemic now so i think we're good okay so that's breaking news go get on that i might have broken that news to you don't move that to the top of the list she put up a meme of a bat and just said bye felicia yeah so it's over it's over it's done um all right so you're back yeah you are back i am back when we talked to you two years ago i think we talked about about it.
I'm sure we did. And you were not going to be back.

You were very at peace with where you were in life and what you were doing.

So why are you back?

I'm happy you're back, by the way.

I should say that first.

Thank you.

Very happy you're back.

But what was the thought process and how did that all kind of unfold?

Well, AEW didn't exist back when everyone was constantly asking me to come back. back hey come back why don't you come back come back come back uh there's one show in town um and i didn't want anything to do with them you know so aw coming back i think opened up my eyes to just possibilities you know and since their inception it's just taking me it's taken me this long to warm up to the idea and you know i was having conversations with tony con the entire time like whole two years they've been in existence and i i just finally got comfortable enough and we talked enough and it made sense so the moment that you do come back that pop we all saw it it was incredible it had to have been like where is that on your list of number one easily number one far and away what that represented uh what the moment was far and away number one moment of my career easily easily okay it's like number one and then there's

a gap and then there's number two whichever i don't know what number two is maybe winning a title at the garden i felt i felt slightly cheated by it was a great great moment the only reason i felt slightly cheated was i was definitely in the camp of when you left wwe every, I would say for about three years,

any time WWE did a show in Chicago or anywhere around Chicago I was like this is the night CM Punk's coming back yeah so I would I waited too long for that and then I wanted to be a surprise but it was still an incredible moment but it was it was but I see we used we used that yeah it was the worst kept secret for a reason right you know like that was that was very very purposeful and i thought we did a masterful job we sold out the united center on a rumor never once said my name never once announced it yeah in the business world that's suicide that's absolutely stupid you don't do that you know you need to you need to revenue you need to move tickets it's a business right you know i i thought we we we kind of you know middled it and got the best of both worlds where it was still a surprise because all of those shows where oh he's coming back oh this is going to be it he's coming back and it's like the boy who cried wolf and then this time well you know there's a payoff also as a wrestling fan myself like we you have to have some type of gullibility to be a wrestling fan like i always think suspension of disbelief yeah right ability yeah well i don't know yeah maybe maybe suspension of disbelief but undertaker retiring like i i'm like not dude he's gonna be he's gonna be at wrestlemania in like 20 years he's gonna never die sure yeah what was the game plan for this one though it's like what's the correct amount of rumor to put out there where it's not too much where it's you know obvious like what how do you start a really good rumor i think announcing that they're gonna run the united center two weeks before the date in a in a market that they've already sold out three shows, I think kind of tells you something's up. Something special is going to happen.
We sold a lot of tickets that two weeks, you know, and a lot of them were in the same building. The Now Arena and Hoffman Estates, they sold out a Wednesday, a Friday, and a Sunday for the the pay-per-view.
Like that's remarkable. And then on top of that to go, but wait in two weeks, we're going to run the United center, which seats, you know, 20,000 people for, for a hockey game, you know, maybe 15 for, for wrestling or whatever it is.
Yeah. I think people were like, Oh, wait a second.
Why are they doing that? Yeah that yeah yeah so is is wwe officially on notice now um you know i don't know my take on that is i their their competition in the same way that in my opinion like netflix is competition right uh the only thing we have to do is put out a better product and we win my opinion you know we don't have a show that goes head to head on mondays we're not trying to quote unquote put them out of business my take on that is if we just focus on ourselves and we tighten up all our screws and we make our show better then then we win. I'm not focused on trying to have some sort of a promotional war or anything like that.
I really don't give a shit what they do. Did Vince text you when you came back being like, hey, fuck you, buddy? No.
He thought that, though. Maybe.
I don't know. I don't know what he thinks anymore.
You know mean he didn't he didn't text me when i came back because i'm i'm you know maybe i'm dead to him again but you know yeah what uh you're a very big fan of wrestling as well i don't think you could say that about every wrestler but i know you are a very big fan of wrestling and wrestling history so what do you think in terms of what you guys can do better maybe a self-scout of AEW like what you something that you're excited about that you guys are going to be able to bring the fans along with um I'll just talk about my stuff you know like I I I won't do sports entertainment I think my stuff will be as as real as it can get because it's what wrestling is, a simulated fight. And my favorite stuff was TV-wise was Jim Crockett promotion stuff, Bill Watts, UWF, Mid-South, all that stuff.
So when I do stuff, when bad guys jump me in the ring, they're not going to come out to their music to give it away because why wouldn't I turn around and be like, hey, what are you doing? Like stop them from coming in the ring. I just want to focus on my stuff and just have it make sense.
You know what I mean? I think when you get back to that, when you get away from, you know, like, oh, here's this video or like this weird, creepy backstage interview. I want to make it more sports-based, sports-oriented.
You know when anthony rizzo hits a walk-off home run in the ninth inning and field reporters on the field to be like anthony rizzo you just hit a walk-off home run in the ninth inning how do you feel like he doesn't wait for his music to play and show up with his own microphone he just like walks on and they have a conversation yeah I want to bring it back to that. Almost studio wrestling, just on a much bigger scale.
I could talk about the talent. Oh, we have better talent, but I think the culture of wrestling now is like, there's people in WWE that want to see AEW succeed, and there's aew wrestlers that are friends with wwe

wrestlers and vince always fostered this this uh culture where he wanted everybody at their throat he wanted people stepping on your neck to get to where you are and ahead of you and all that other stuff and now i think there's wrestlers on both sides who are like whatever let's all go get pancakes right right i do i agree

with you that the um the real when you can get wrestling to that point where it is it's it's real and everything feels real except you obviously know you know the match it really gets to a higher level where it's so enjoyable for the fan and what you're saying like of you know you're watching it and it just feels a lot more authentic and real,

and it doesn't saying like of you know you're watching it and it just feels

a lot more authentic and real and it doesn't feel like someone was just like concocting all these things backstage that then you go and read your like that is a beautiful place that it can get to yes absolutely and and you do that by giving talent freedom and not scripting everything you know if you have writers writing be like if you had to do your show every day and there was five people that handed you a script and you have to read this stuff exactly really extreme yeah yeah but you have your own voice yeah yeah right kind of yeah yeah maybe maybe maybe you don't okay i mean we can barely i don't know the politics of Barstool, apparently. I don't know's just how can you put yourself in the shoes of somebody if you've never been in those situations and every individual winds up sounding exactly the same because stuff's coming from one person it gets formulaic where it's like you're going to be the heel you're going to be the face this is the type the heel would say in this situation.
Yeah, it sounds more like that person's voice than the character that you guys are doing.

Yeah, and it all gets muddied and it gets lost.

So coming back into the ring, are there any things like physically that you feel, any limitations that you have?

Or do you feel like you can do everything that you did five years ago, six years ago?

I think I can do everything I did five or six, seven, eight years ago, whatever it is, just maybe slower. I was never a guy who did wacky moves and crazy shit occasionally.
I don't know why I got roped into doing an elbow drop off the top rope to the floor through a table. That shit was a little above my pay grade.
So i don't think you're going to be seeing that but uh i think my style of wrestling was always more storytelling oriented you know what i mean so i i think i can i can do that until the wheels come off like terry funk you know yeah so so speaking of storytelling i know that you're i think i've seen you tweet about the dark side of the ring i love watching those yeah do you think that you'll ever have your story on dark side of

the ring maybe your exit for people who don't know vice has dark side of the ring i would highly

highly recommend it it's wrestling history but the stuff that you don't they don't really want

to talk about publicly you know you sure an entire thing about owen hart there's chris benoit there's

a lot of stories i think my i think my story's got a happy ending. Yeah, I was going to say, you're not in that camp, but there's a bunch of different stories throughout wrestling history that don't get talked about a lot.
But do you think that anything from the CM Punk career would maybe be in Dark Side of the Ring? I think it could make an interesting episode of Dark Side of the ring and i love that show and i love both those guys uh but i like i said i don't know i've told my story it made wwe file a fugazi lawsuit against me and like i won that lawsuit because everything i said was true and it's's not a, you know, when I'm doing the media,

this isn't ever a, hey, let's shit on WWE.

This is my fucking story.

Right.

You know, it's like Brian Danielson.

He worked there.

He just put out a Grantland piece about thanking WWE.

And I think that's amazing.

And there's a part of me that, man, wishes I could do that. But me and him had two completely different experiences there.
And that's OK. So me just telling my story about my past history and things that happened to me.
There's nothing wrong with that. Right.
So, you know, I just don't know if Dark Side of the Ring. I don't know if that's the place to tell the story.
I'd be open to it, though. But I think the story's kind of been told ad nauseum.
And there's people out there that they already have their narrative of like, well, I didn't like, come on, be a professional. I think there's people that are like, I don't like Phil, so he's a quitter.
And then there's people that listen to the story and be like no wait a second like you know like dude dude got fired right he didn't quit yeah it's it's it's whatever what's your favorite one dark side of the ring oh god they're all so good honestly i love the king of the ring one the um the brawl for all sorry yeah yeah that's a good one uh i mean the last one they did plane ride from hell yeah fantastic i haven't watched that yet oh you gotta watch that you gotta watch that shit yes the best part about that is they call that one the plane ride from hell like they could do they could do a 12 episode series called the plane rides from hell like plural yes yeah i've been on i've been on at least three flights that were just like that really that the only reason people talk about that plane ride from hell is because people got fired and that made people dig into it oh why'd scott hall get fired oh why'd mr perfect get fired oh well this is why i've been on at least three i was on the last charter flight where they were literally like that's it no more charters guys wow that's it you've you've you done fucked it up and and the boys always fuck it up for the boys and that was the last straw wow coming back from europe they were like no more charters that's it like the wolf of wall street type flight yeah that movie 100 no 100 100 people wouldn't believe the stories i would tell about people they wouldn't they wouldn't believe it it's what was crazy about that one I saw obviously people talking about on Twitter but ESPN did a 30 for 30 about Ric Flair that they kind of talked about it yeah so it's weird that it I guess that's kind of the beauty of dark side of the ring that they talk about it in a real way yeah and not you know gloss over things yeah they don't I mean facts don't give a shit about your feelings right you know like i understand that you watch these people on television and you're like oh that guy's fucking awesome and it's just like nope yeah yeah sorry sorry if that offends you yeah so wait what happened on one of those flights i could i could i could tell you a million stories but i don't want to i don't want to i don't want to be that, ooh, Phil's bitter guy.

You don't need to tell a million.

It is what it is.

But just one would be good.

The most boring one.

Yeah.

Tell you what, we'll turn the mics off. I won't.
Well, I'm not naming any names. there was there was one flight where um i personally slapped somebody in the face

choked somebody because of what they did to a female I was with at the time, while simultaneously a female was in a bathroom with two dudes, while I watched two guys force somebody to chug a fifth of Jack daniels jesus uh like they were trying to murder people right like you know like not like gun to your head like give me your wallet but they were like they were all those all those dudes all that bullshit i'm a top guy i'm a made man this is like the mob all that fucking corny ass horse shit like i dealt with it and i dealt with it firsthand and i'm the only dude who's ever i'm straight edge so i was a target and you remember it i was a huge fucking target and i remembered everything everybody ever fucking did or said to me so you wonder why people say oh yeah phil was hard to deal with it's because I fucking have a memory like an elephant. Yeah.
And I me. So you wonder why people say, oh yeah, Phil was hard to deal with.

It's because I fucking have a memory like an elephant.

Yeah.

And I remember.

So when I became a top guy

and all of a sudden they were like,

oh, you're one of us, brother.

I was like, fuck you guys.

You guys are walking pieces of shit.

Being sober and hanging out with drunk people.

It's not fun.

You realize just what a piece of shit everybody is. Yeah.
Well, I did. And wrestling fans out there, again, I know you don't like hearing these stories from me, but I lived it.
So you wouldn't have fucking lasted one layover. Yeah.
So did you enjoy your time in the WWE? I did and I didn't. Being in AEW is very eye-opening.
Right. You don't know what you have.
There's a group of us that used to work in WWE, and when we're all kind of gathered around, it winds up turning into what feels like an AA meeting, where everybody's kind of just speaking their truth. And it is what it is.
It makes you, it's, it's a release. You're with people who can share these experiences.
Cause I've had experiences that like you, you wouldn't believe you couldn't tell people. And they, they, it's hard to talk to people who just cannot relate to these situations.
You know, it'd be like, it'd be like the 86 Mets trying to talk to like a little league team to a Little League team. I would actually love to see that.
You know what I mean? The Little League team would be like, huh? What are you talking about? We just do this for fun. I can appreciate that because there are times when we will talk to other podcasters.
It's very different but somewhat similar. Where you talk to other podcasters is very different but somewhat similar where you

talk to other podcasters or people in the media and you if you do it for like an hour you're like wow we sound we sound so pretentious that we're complaining about this shit but it is nice to talk to people in your field and be like yeah you know what that did suck or that is weird yeah and But being backstage, I said this to Renee.

I was like, look, WWE was great. Made a bunch of money.
I met my wife. I was doing what I wanted to do, I guess, but being at AEW, and the business has changed so much, obviously, that there's no Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday.
I was on the road that many days a week for 10 years. Right.
Right. And then realizing now that I'll do one week of TV and then maybe we'll record Rampage after Dynamite and then it'll air taped on Friday.
Like travel's different, everything's different, but I also am just like, I don't remember ever having this much fun at WWE because you were just always nervous, job scared. Oh, I'm going to get heat.
Like if I don't shake everybody's hand and you know, like, I don't know, bow and say like there was just there was a culture and rules in place to to just make everybody feel like a piece of shit and unwanted and you know like it was hard to break through yeah and just you know i i broke through i'm the exception to the rule you know and everyone says oh the place is better now the place is better now maybe i mean maybe it is i don't know i'm not fucking there but i know aw. And I literally am just like, man, I've never had so much fun.
Like you can see it. You can see it on my face when I walk out.
It's just different. People are singing my song.
I'm stage diving. Everybody in that audience who bought a ticket is happy to be there.
They're having fun. It's just, it's completely different environment.
That's awesome. And I mean I mean, we talked to Tony Khan.
I could sense that that's how he kind of operates, that it's more collaboration, more people have the freedom to do what they want. And if you're having fun, I feel like the fans will have more fun.
That's just always a rule in all entertainment, that fans are smart. They know if you're into something or not.
Yes. Yeah.
a guy that is very much like his managerial style is fine talented people and then let them do whatever it is they're best at yeah unless you're Tim Tebow where it's like yeah okay yeah play tight end sure Tim give it a shot nobody's nobody's trying to clip anybody else's wings yeah you know what I mean whereas you know maybe in some other places you work you know you get people who are in a managerial position who are just like nope nope nope not that guy nope nope and it's it's just crazy i think i think majority of the people at aew kind of just want to have fun and i understand the perspective of like nope this is a business we got to make money we got to do this but that can absolutely stamp out your passion for something yeah uh did you sneak into riot fest um i i was helped i would i was i was helped out you know uh i don't want to i don't want to make too many comments about that because there's still there's still litigation going on between myself and Riot Fest. If you were to have snuck in, which night would you have gone? Because I was looking at the schedule.
Saturday looked awesome. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, I think.
Maybe. Yeah, allegedly.
What was the best night? I missed Riot Fest. If you were there.
So, allegedly, Living Color was really good. they played a really good set

allegedly Rancid

who's always good

I've never seen them do a bad show

and then allegedly

Anthrax

that would allegedly make sense

was very very good

allegedly how were the Boss Tones

allegedly

I missed them

I'm sorry

there are reports that they're my favorite band

Thank you. Very good.
Allegedly, how are the Boston's? Allegedly, I missed them. I'm sorry.
They're reports that they're my favorite band. Yeah.
I think they were right before Rancid. Okay.
Well, we appreciate you coming in. We're happy you're back.
It feels very different than two years ago, but it's just great to see you back out there. I don't know.
I was going to ask a Blackhawks question, but I don't know if they'll ever be good again. Maybe this year.
You don't think they'll be good this year? No, I actually think this year. You don't think with Seth Jones and us getting Mark Andre Fury for absolutely nothing? And the fact that he- Absolutely nothing? Well, when it's like 50-50 if he's going to retire or not, probably makes sense to absolutely nothing.
So I'm happy he bought in. So, yeah, I think they'll be back in the playoffs this year.
Let's say that. Why not? We'll find out.
Yeah, yeah. But thank you.
We appreciate it, man. No problem.
I look forward to everybody being at Arthur Ashe Stadium, 20,000 people. Man, when's the last time a wrestling program did 20,000 people in New York City? I don't know.
Man. Long ass time.
Yeah, long ass time. Yeah.
Yeah. Long ass time.
Long ass time. Sorry, I just like to pat ourselves on the back a little bit.
It's cool. Love it.
Love it. Thanks, man.
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Alright, let's wrap up. We got Firefest of the week and then we'll send everyone on their way for a great football weekend.
Hell yeah. Hell yeah.
Shout out me for,

I almost did a to Hank the other day.

Didn't do it.

He came in

and he was drinking

a protein shake

that he had made

in like a magic bullet.

And I watched him

like mix it

and I almost said,

he wasn't drinking

a protein shake.

I stopped

and I didn't do it. And it was a very funny moment between us.
Credit to you. I appreciated that.
You look good, though, Hank. Thanks.
I think we should spend more time building each other up and less time tearing each other down on this podcast. I agree.
This is enough. You look good enough to fuck this weekend, Hank.
I was super nice to you earlier about your eyes. So credit to me.
My Fyre Fest of the i have i moved in july i ordered a couch in july it said it was going to be delivered late august i knew shit's crazy with covid paid for it all and then about two weeks later they got emails like it's actually delayed till late september and i already paid for it so i was like whatever It's now late September, and they're not even answering my emails.

Oh, that's tough.

Damn.

Are they still in business?

Yeah, it's truly a fire fest.

Yeah, it's an actual fire fest.

It's a real fire fest week.

It just kind of dawned on me because I was like, wait, where is this couch?

It's late September.

Maggie.

Hit him up.

No email back yet.

Her name was Maggie?

No, it was Wake Up Maggie.

No, I know.

Wake Up Maggie.

I think you got something to say to you.

Yeah, got it.

Her name's Crate and Barrel, bud.

Oh, wow.

I'll see you next time. back yet her name was maggie no there's a wake up maggie no wake up maggie i think you got something to say to you yeah got it her name's crate and barrel but oh wow she's a bitch crate and barrel she's a fucking thought yeah that was real anger from billy i feel like covet is just it for a lot of businesses it's become one of those things that you can just say like get out of jail free yes oh yeah your couch we don't have your couch because uh because COVID and then you what can you say back to that right so you sound insensitive if you complain we'll see what happens hopefully next week I have a more a better update so what are you sitting on I have a giant bean bag in my living room.
It's pretty empty.

I have another room where I watch games and stuff, the three TV room.

My living room is just pretty empty.

I don't really spend much time in there, but if I have guests over or anything,

it's like you'd walk in and just nothing.

It's good to just have a couch.

And I paid for it, so I'm like, what the fuck?

I love Hank's setup at his apartment because he has a living room,

which is where one would traditionally keep the three televisions to watch games and things like that but Hank made that his office and so your living room is just going to be like a bigger less cool version of your real TV room well you can I mean it's one of those things where in the past I had one room and I had three TVs and people come in they're like what the fuck is going on here it Just be like, hey, it's my job. Right, but it's better

to just have it in a room, you can close the door,

the rest of the apartment looks normal. Got it.

Except unless you don't have a couch. Unless you don't have

a couch. Fuck Crate and Barrel.

PFT. Yeah, my fire fest

of the week is that I switched over to

pants this week. It's tough.

It's tough. It was a good summer.
We had a good run

while it lasted. I think most of us

wore shorts every single day after March.

Not me.

It's always bittersweet switching over to pants.

It mentally prepares me for the fact that the next six months are going to suck.

Yeah.

And I tried hanging on.

I try hanging on.

I'm always the guy that there will be one day where it's like 61 degrees out.

And if you're a bigger guy, you can still get away with wearing shorts into work.

That is true.

That day. But as a smaller gentleman like myself, it really stands out.
And if you're a bigger guy, you can still get away with wearing shorts into work. That is true.
That day. But as a smaller gentleman like myself, it really stands out.
If you're out there in public wearing shorts and a long sleeve shirt or a sweatshirt when the temperature is like barely cracking 60. And I just figured, you know, it's time.
I held on for as long as I could. But yeah, it's always a tough week mentally for me when I have to just accept my fate.

It's that and the clock's changing this Sunday.

Yeah, that's the fucking worst.

That's one that's always a tough pill to swallow.

Yeah, it's brutal.

Turning the fan off.

Turning the fan off.

The fan's been on for several months, and I just shut it off.

But I do get to wear the Muggsy clutch jeans, so that's nice.

Here we go.

Billy, what's yours?

I've been breaking out for some reason recently. Pimples? Yeah, pimples on my forehead.
I think it's because the sun has finally gotten to the point. So the sun has gotten to a place in the sky where it shines through my window and hits me in the eyes in the morning.
They call that noon. You don't blinds? no.
You don't blinds? You came to the office at one. No, it's like autumn now.
You don't blinds? I don't. So then I put a pillow over my head.
Yeah. And then I sweat.
And you don't wash your pillowcases? And then I get acne. Do you wash your pillowcases? I try.
You try to. Well, you said your laundry was done during Fuck Boys.
Is your pillowcase in that laundry Okay you know my sheets are fairly clean So yeah fairly clean That means what How many times do you wash your sheets a week This is one of those things that Twitter gets mad about Once every like three months Oh my god white people never wash their sheets Which is kind of I think that might true stereotype. I mean, I'm scared to answer because I thought I wash my sheets regularly, but once every couple weeks.
Yeah, that's pretty good. Yeah, that's fine.
That's fine. Yeah.
What about you, Billy? Like once a month. Yeah.
Oh, that's good. Yeah.
For your age, that's appropriate. Yeah, you're way ahead of the curve.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Jake.
Wait, before Jake, I don't think we should overlook the fact that Billy said that he's getting pimples

Because the sun is coming through his window at a different angle

No because then I put the pillow

Why don't you get a

I put the pillow on my head

Face mask

No because think about the sun moves in the sky throughout the autumn

Throughout the year right

But like not day to day like technically

Like the sun at 12 o'clock in January is a different place than the sun at 12 o'clock

Wait what

All right. year right but like not day to day like technically like the sun at 12 o'clock in january is a different place than the sun at 12 o'clock wait what october that's true technically yeah so now there's like buildings that i don't think you understand that big cat said that you could just like put something over your face like a face mask that they sell yeah you love that's why they give me the acne the acne is because you're putting your sweaty gross pillow on your forehead Right, but the face masks will do the same thing.
You're a big lip. That's why they give me the acne.
No, the acne is because you're putting your sweaty, gross pillow on your forehead.

Right, but the face masks will do the same thing.

No, it's over your eyes, not your forehead.

But no, it's like right here.

Okay, here's a crazy thought.

You should maybe turn over onto your other side looking away from the window.

I can't sleep facing down my nose. Or get blinds.

All right, that's fair.

Get blinds.

Who the hell buys blinds? I don't know. What? Do you expect me really to go into like a crate and barrel and buy blinds? Well, not now.
After we're boycotting it. But you could also just like TaskRabbit it.
What's TaskRabbit? Someone will come and install blinds for you. You should tell Mincy to do it.

As a workout.

You have to have blinds in your bedroom.

That's crazy.

I have one window. It's a perfect time.

Just get one of those shower curtain that extends

and buy a little curtain thing.

Yeah, put a blanket over it.

It's a perfect time for you to do steroids.

If you're breaking out already,

you might as well just juice up.

Blame it on the sun.

Yeah. Blame it on the sun.
Yeah. I've to do steroids.
If you're breaking out already, you might as well just juice up. Blame it on the sun.
Blame it on the sun.

I've never done steroids.

It's just a fun hobby to research.

Okay, yeah. One of those things.

Jake. So all week

I've had this mysterious bug bite

by my wrist. Billy's diagnosed

it like three times. I don't know if I'm turning

into Spider-Man or if it's just a rash.

Billy's diagnosed it three times. So I don't know what's going on, but it's not going away.
When did you get it? About a week ago. Week ago.
Here we go. Nice.
That's pretty nasty. Billy said it was...
I don't even know what he said it was. Scabies.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jake, we need to get you on ivermectin.
Don't even know what that is. Ivermectin is the best drug in the entire world for scabies.
I'll pass. Yes.
I'll ride this one out. We'll see.
All right. It's in God's hands.
All right. I got a quick real fire fest.
Obviously, we talk about our lives sometimes, not all the time, but this one I obviously need to talk about because Stella, who everyone knows, who has been with me for

a decade, who's been with me for all Barstool, people watched her in the background of KFC Radio eight, nine years ago. She was on this show.
She was on Cat Cave Derby. So she has chronic kidney disease, got diagnosed on Wednesday.
It sucks. That is terminal.
the vet told us that it is

most likely months, probably not a year that we have left with her. So I wanted to tell people because I didn't want people to be like one day.
It's going to probably take a really bad turn for the worse. And that's unfortunately the genetic chronic kidney disease.
The vet was basically like one day it's going to be really bad and it's probably going to be over. So sucks a lot, but going to make sure that the end of her life is as good as possible.
If any vets out there have treats, I need to find treats that are good for her kidneys. Much appreciated.
Any tips, but yeah, love Stella. She's the best, and yeah, so I want to tell everyone because that's what's going on in my life, and it sucks.
It's a real fire fest, and dogs are the best, and she's had an awesome life, and I'm hoping it's a year, but it's probably not going to be. I'm prepared for it to be a lot less, but she's going to be comfortable and happy on the way out.
Right now, the weirdest part about the whole thing is she's totally normal. She's drinking a lot more, which is a sign of the kidney failure, but she has the same energy, so hopefully she keeps the same energy as long as possible and some more memories, but yeah, it sucks.
She's been a really lucky dog, and i know you'll take good care of her she'll be very comfortable yes it's it is just a shitty situation it sucks people everyone's gone through it and so give her give her boobs for us yeah but it's uh i know that people obviously know her through the various content through the years she's literally been with me from before Barstool. So she's been every moment of Barstool.

And, you know, back in the day when it was just me sitting in an apartment in Chicago

blogging, she was just sitting next to me all day.

So it sucks.

But yeah, that's just needed to say that.

All right.

Hope you get another year with her.

Yep.

Stella Strong.

Yep.

Yep.

Yep.

Okay.

Let's do numbers and then send everyone on their way for a great football weekend. 97.
Give me an 8. 69.
98. 18.
All dogs go to heaven. That's a fact.
True. 50.
That would have been highly inappropriate if 69 had hit and Billy had just started celebrating Okay that's Freaky So full disclosure I already did the whole Stella speech Fuck That's crazy So I did the whole Stella speech earlier in the day For my fire fest and I broke down and started. So I redid it because I wanted to actually explain

what's going on the first time.

I literally couldn't get it out.

So it was like people probably thought that she was,

you know, it was, she was gonna die tomorrow.

So I redid it.

It's night.

The first time we did numbers, it was 50.

The second time it was 50.

That's fucking freaky.

That's crazy.

Hopefully that means she lives for another year.

Love you guys.

That's nuts. Today's another day to find you shying away I'll be coming for your love, okay Take on me Needless to say I'm on sentence But I'm eased Oh, a little way Slowly learning Life is okay Say up to me A little better to be safe than sorry to take on me?

Oh, things that you stay

Oh, things that you stay

Oh, things that you stay Thank you. All the things that he stays in life Just to play memories away You are the things I've got to remember He's shying away I'll be coming for you anyway Take on me I'll be coming for you anyway Take on me Take on me