Rex Ryan, MNF, College Football Round Up & Guys On Chicks

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
Twin Peaks is the best in the game. Here, historic rivalries tip off with shareable bites and every shot you take is a game winner.
I mean, where else can you pair wall-to-wall hoops with hard-to-find whiskey? Only at Twin Pe, the number one sports bar. On today's part of my take, we have Rex Ryan on the show talking football, talking his career, talking burying footballs, talking his wife's feet, everything.
Rex Ryan on the show. Great interview.
We also have some Monday Night Football cleanup. We're going to talk some college football because it is Wednesdaynesday we have hot seat cool throne we have guys on chicks a great wednesday show ever had one of those days when it's just too cold to keep working nah neither has ariat ariat work jackets and boots are packed with all the cold stopping waterproof protection you need to get the job done under any conditions so you can take any job out there and always deliver.
Check out

Ariat in your local workwear retailer or visit Ariat.com slash work to get 10% off your first

order when you sign up for email and weather whatever in Ariat work gear. Okay, let's go.
Boy! All on the sun, oh no We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher It's Part of My Take, presented by Barstool Sports Welcome to Part of My Take, presented by our presenting sponsor, Dave & Buster's Dave & Buster's, the greatest place on earth Go watch Dave & Buster's. Go watch football at Dave & Buster's because we love Dave & Buster's.
More ding, ding, ding with Dave & Buster's. Today is Wednesday, September 29th, and I think the Cowboys might be good.
The Cowboys are the best team in that division right now, for sure. I think the Cowboys might be good.
They're good right now. I think the Cowboys might be good.
The Cowboys are good. The only thing that they have to worry about is, obviously, injuries and things like that.
That's every team. I think we can say, though, I'm not going to do any qualifiers.
I think the Cowboys are good. They're a good team.
Ezekiel Elliott played well last night. We got the old school Ezekiel Elliott.
Tony Pollard, enough talk about him. There's something about what the Cowboys are doing on defense that it doesn't really make sense with all their linebackers, but Dan Quinn with his backwards hat, it works.
They have Jalen Hurts on the ropes. Jalen Hurts compared the game to taking a big shit and having to flush it down the toilet.
That's how I thought watching it as well. Yeah.
Jalen Hurts, he might not be the guy. He's a fine young man, Big Cat.
Jalen Hurts, he's better than some people thought he would be as an NFL quarterback. And worse than what he needs to be.
And worse than what he needs to be. I think he might be.
Here's something nice about Jalen Hurts. I think he might be the best backup in the NFL for the next decade.
I think Jalen Hurts might be the best backup quarterback in the history of football. Yeah, I don't know if he's a starter.
Going back to what happened when he was in college, he was a great backup. Nick Saban had the best things in the world to say.
I've never heard Nick Saban compliment one of his own players as much as he complimented Jalen Hurts' ability to be a great backup quarterback. Great teammate.
Great teammate. So yeah, keep him around.
But he had that one. It was the head scratcher.
Yeah. The head scratcher interception.
Well, the underthrow, the head scratcher guy fell down, but it still was not a good pass. And then the underthrow, deep underthrow where, listen, I'm not going to rag on Jalen Hurts, but you squat 600 pounds.
You shouldn't shouldn't be underthrowing anyone yeah like you should have enough power in those legs to throw it the appropriate length I I just and and listen Nick Sirianni three games in when you lose and you have the highlighter in your visor you start to look stupid yeah I don't know what he was doing with that thing I think Sirianni was like, I need a thing as a coach to be identified as because he looks like an extra in The Sopranos. He's very nondescript.
He looks like a chef or a cook at a really dirty deli. Yes.
And so he needs a thing. And I think he looked himself in the mirror and was like, I'm going to be the highlighter guy.
And you have to win if you're going to be the highlighter guy. And you also have to win if you're going to be the rah-rah guy because he was wearing a Beat Dallas shirt all week and talking about how important the rivalry was.
And listen, I'm not taking – Dallas is the story, I think, coming away from Monday Night Football because I think the Eagles – shout out – did you see Colin Coward? He said, I was wrong about, I said the Eagles were going to be bad,

and I thought I was wrong, but I actually was right.

That's the old Skip Bayless with the Clippers.

Right, the reverse, like actually credit to me for being right all along,

even though I went back on it.

I respect that.

And just keep flip-flopping until I land on the right take.

Yep.

So I did think the Eagles were going to be a frisky team. I'm not saying they're not.
They still can be a frisky team. But to me, that was like, I can't remember the last time the Cowboys won a big Monday Night Football game after winning a big game against the Chargers the week before, and it feels like they took two steps forward, not one step forward, two steps back like they often do.

They look legit.

But, yeah, Sirianni, his play calling was kind of weird.

I think Miles Sanders had, what, like two carries?

9% of his play calls were designed runs.

Yeah, it's really weird.

That's crazy.

Really strange.

He needs to take the highlighter and take it off the passing column,

put it on the running column.

Run the damn ball.

Run the damn ball.

You know what?

If you're an Eagles fan,

this is just like a field day for you on Sports Talk Radio because the easiest thing to say ever is just like, we need to establish the run. Yeah.
Run the damn ball. So, I think it'd be kind of fun if the Cowboys were actually legitimately good for the first time in forever.
It's probably going to happen. The NFC East doesn't have a repeat champion ever.
Everything's always exactly the opposite of what it was the previous year. It'd just be fun.
It's been a long time since they've been a legitimate threat. Obviously, they've had a couple years where you're like, oh, maybe, but they have defensive woes or whatever it may be that pops up.
I don't know. I don't want them to win the Super Bowl, obviously, but it would be fun if they were in the mix.
What's happening right now is they just have an undeniably talented team. They're good.
I don't think that they have any glaring weaknesses right now. Maybe the defense occasionally, but I don't know.
It's looked pretty good recently. Trayvon Diggs is awesome.
Trayvon Diggs is one of the best cover guys in the league. And his son is, like, every time he makes a big play, I'm like, his son's probably doing something super cute right now.
That's why I can't root against the Cowboys as much as I usually like to. It's because, one, I still don't know if that guy has contact lenses yet or not, and two, because Trayvon Diggs' son is so damn cute, I can't see him disappointed.
And three, when you see on the sideline the defensive line coach, you're like, oh, that guy's got an English accent. Right, exactly.
I saw him a couple times last night. I was like, oh, I know that guy.
He's from England. Yep.
My mojo moment of the night goes to Mike McCarthy, forgetting about the clock at the end of the first half. He looks – Mike McCarthy's problem – well, he's got a lot of problems, but his biggest problem is when he is making a mistake or when he looks – when he's not doing what he should be doing, which I think we could say that clock, like it was a very bizarre setup.
Like why not call a timeout? Your offense is killing him. He just looks so confused.
He just like kind of stares off and he's got, you know, he's a bigger man. And it's just, it feels like he's not able to like, he's not, he's reading a book, but he can't read.
I think he hates clocks so much because they remind him of scales. Yeah.
That's the best explanation. Any numbers.
Yeah, sometimes they're circular and they've got a little needle on there. But you're right.
When he was making the mistake, he was just kind of having a blank stare on his face. And then about 15 seconds into the mistake, he started to realize that he was currently fucking up.
Yeah. And then there was a moment where he was like, maybe I should call that timeout.
And the ref was even like, are you going to out and he's just like ah no screw it don't worry about it and that's very relatable like if you're a lot of times if you're making a mistake if it's at work if it's at home and you're so far into it and then you get caught halfway making the mistake you're just like yeah i meant to do this yeah yeah oh yeah no no i was always planning on it yeah it's a billy That was a joke, guys. Exactly.
That was a bit. He just needs to figure out something to do with his hands or some kind of movement.
A fidget spinner. Yeah, that's not just him standing there blankly staring up at a clock trying to figure out what's going on.
Like, you're the head coach. You should know what's going on.
Maybe it's as simple as just having a guy next to him that just nudges him like, Hey, coach, you're on TV right now. Just move your spot.
Walk back and forth. Pace.
Pacing would be better than when he just stands there being like, I don't know. Pacing's great, but at least he doesn't just clap all the time like Jason Garrett did.
I think this is an improvement over just clapping silently the entire time. But he doesn't know what to do with his hands.
He's like Ricky Bobby. He just keeps them at his side.
They swing awkwardly. He should get a dog.
He should get an emotional support dog on the sidelines. A beagle.
Yeah, a beagle and just hold him on the leash. Yeah.
And that would look better. Throw some treats into the beagle's mouth.
What do you say, Hank? I tweeted this last night, but I think it is time we revisit the discussion of the Philadelphia beagles. The e The Eagles can't run.
The Bears can't throw. They're both bad.
I think we need to combine the teams again. I don't think that team, even that team, depends what division.
I was thinking about that. If they're playing in the Big Ten, they could probably win the title.
Maybe. Maybe.
Maybe. Yeah.
And who's coach?

Jesus Christ.

I honestly don't.

Yeah.

Mike Ditka. Like Nick Sirianni on Matt Nagy's shoulders.

In a trench coat?

Yeah.

Like, we're a real coach.

I swear we are, guys.

Let us into this movie.

We're an adult.

I actually think no coach. Yeah.
Just have the coordinators take care of everything. Let the players do it.
Yeah. There was also LeBron.
LeBron went on TV and threw his quarterback under the bus. Did you hear that? No.
So, yeah, he was talking about his high school football career, and they were showing some of the plays that he used to make in high school. And first thing that jumped out to me, LeBron, surprise, doesn't like contact.
Doesn't like going going across the middle there's it and he uh he threw his high school quarterback under the bus and said something along the lines of i could have been a lot better at football if i had a better quarterback that wasn't always leading me into getting hit across the middle well that's a funny thing to say to peyton manning it is yeah no lebron was like lebron's like i saw three mannings and i just spoke to the one in the middle. Yeah, yeah.
There's probably like Anthony Gonzalez is watching that being like, God damn it. Peyton's agreeing with this.
Like, what the hell? LeBron also said that he got offered tryouts for the Seahawks and the Cowboys back during the lockout. Yeah, I mean, he's a freak athlete.
So good job, LeBron. What are you going to say, Hank? It's It's so ridiculous.
It's like when Russell Wilson does, like, I'm going to put on a Yankees uniform once a year. It's like LeBron was probably at some type of event.
And they were like, hey, yeah, come out and play for the team. I don't think they sent him a formal offer, like, hey, come work out for the Cowboys.
Do you know what would be cool? I think it was much more of like a... Yeah, he said formal offer, though.
Do you know what would be cool is if you actually did it? Because people always remember Bo Jackson and Deion Sanders and guys who can play two sports are forever in lore of being the greatest athletes of all time. So go do it.
I would love to see a professional NFL locker room check LeBron because you can't trade all those guys away. Too many of them.

Can't do it, LeBron.

Pete Carroll just probably saw him reading the first page of the 9-11 commission report and was like, hey, I'd like to talk to you further.

And LeBron's like, got another tryout.

Yes.

Well, let me get to page two and then just never got back to him.

That's why he didn't end up on the Seahawks.

Right, right.

Yeah.

All right.

So should we talk some college football?

Should we talk some college football?

Anyone? No? Yeah? Billy? You got some college football notes? I was going to put this on my hot seat, but Georgia Southern. Yeah? A lot of stuff going on in Georgia Southern.
They're 1-3. Their head coach just got fired, but one of their players was seen shotgunning a beer on top of a bus going to the game.
He was standing on top of a bus. That was going to the game? That was going to the game.
I thought that was after. I love it.
That's the whole thing. It looks like a we just won the game celebration.
That's amazing. No, it was going to the game.
But in his defense it looked like most of it spilt on him. Why was he on top of the bus going to the game? He was getting people rowdy, man.
He was pumping the folks up. But he's been suspended indefinitely.
He also had a false start on a fourth down. He's a nose tackle in the fourth quarter that allowed Louisiana to win the game.
So kind of warranted. If you made that mistake and weren't shotgunning beers before the game, you could sort of see it.
But the guy's also a country music star. Oh, his name is Gavin Adcock.
Yeah, Gavin Adcock. Yeah, so it might, you know, if his football career is over because of this, you know, he kind of did it and maybe promoted his music.
Yeah. So, you know, go check it out.
I didn't think we were going to start with Georgia Southern, but I like it, Billy. That's a ridiculous story.
Jeez. They're in my hot seat, though.
I had a couple quotes if you want me to read them, and you can tell me who said this quote. The first one is, so the team punted on fourth and two from the 34-yard line, the opponent's 34-yard line, and the coach said i'm trying to win a game not lose a game and i know that sounds silly because we just lost it i'd do it 100 times over okay uh punted from the 34 yard line the opponent's 34 yard line on fourth and two and somebody who just lost yes i'm trying to win a game not lose a game and i know that sounds silly because we just lost it i do it a hundred times over herm edwards no it's not he won they won against colorado uh it is brett bielma at illinois punted on the opponents on produce 34 yard line and then the other one i have is uh 48 yard field goal attempt down seven on fourth and two with nine minutes left to play.
The coach said, it's not even a question for me. Take all the analytics you want.
Analytics don't matter. Football matters.
One score game with nine minutes to go, and that's what we did. Okay.
That is a coach that lost? Yes. Shit.
Heupel. No, that one is David Shaw, who actually could be.
It was a little misdirection because the first one could have been David Shaw as well. Yeah.
He loves to punt the opponent's territory. David Shaw absolutely loves punting.
And he's right in theory that it is a one-score game. Yes.
But he just neglects to realize it was previously a one-score game. It's Dan Quinn goal.
Can you kick a field goal to go to one-score game from a one-score game? But then you kick another field goal, and then you're within one score. Then you can win with a field goal.
You can win with one-score game. Yes, yes.
So two quotes that I just thought were incredible from this weekend's college football. The biggest story, though, is, well, Wisconsin sucks.
We talked about that on sunday uh clemson is dabbo going to be able to stomach a truly down year for clemson because they're out they're officially out they're not going to make the college football playoff they got big big problems uh dj ungalay let's give it to me jake uyunglele this is gonna fuck me up for the rest of his career because I'm just going to keep thinking about the game

that he played for Trevor Lawrence at Notre Dame

when he played like incredible

and his big ass dad standing in the seats.

I'm going to think that he's awesome.

I don't think he's awesome anymore,

but I still think he's awesome if that makes sense.

But yeah, Clemson is now a mere mortal

for at least this year. Yeah, so I mean they look bad.
Really bad. They look really, really bad.
But they're still going to get invited to a good bowl game, and I'm going to think that they're good. I think they're going to lose.
In a bowl game? No, I think they're going to lose more. They're going to be sub-500? Maybe not sub-500, but they're going to lose two more games.
Okay. Yeah, I think that's realistic because they look like they could be a four-loss team.
They're like, because mind you, it's not just the fact that they lost to NC State. They were only up eight with a minute left, and Georgia Tech had the ball on the one-yard line the week before.
Right. I do want to put some respect on NC name.
The Wolf Pack and Tuffy 3. Their new dog, Tuffy 3.
I saw a picture of it at the start of the year. This dog is a winner.
I can spot a winning dog a mile away. Tuffy 3, which is kind of confusing because of the Wolf Pack, but then they have a dog as a mascot.
But that's fine. Relative of a wolf.
That's fine. It's a relative.
It's a close relative of the wolf. This is a fucking winner.
Yeah. Tuffy 3's got the eye of a tiger.
I know live mascots. I've been betting on NC State Moneyline every week.
Bet a Moneyline this week. Specifically- They lost to Mississippi State.
Yeah, but specifically, I like Tuffy, and I'm going to continue to ride Tuffy. I think it's a little bit more than Clemson being really bad.
I think NC State is pretty good this year. Okay.
I just think that Clemson's like, it's going to be very interesting because I don't know the dynamic when you are a Clemson, when you lose your second game before October. Like, it's championship or bust for them.
So what do you do now? You complain about NIL rules. That's what's next up but dabbo right now is like he's he's foaming at the mouth getting ready to complain about uh players getting paid most teams you can the majority of college football teams you lose your second game before october you're still playing the season because you never expected to be in the college football playoff when you're go to clemson when you get recruited by clemson when, when you play for Clemson, you expect to play in the playoff, and now that that ship has officially sailed, do you get up anymore for these games? I don't know.
I don't know. It's kind of a weird, uncharted territory.
If you're Dabo, the thing you have to do this week is you have to start a couple walk-ons. You have to.
You have to say, nobody's job is safe., this week open competition. Call the basketball.
Basketball team. Bring them out.
Let them try out for positions. Yeah, bring in all the walk-ons that you can and then take a couple of your starters that weren't very good that were going to get benched for the second string guys to begin with and then bench them.
But obviously keep all your really good players still. But that's what a coach has to do in this situation.
That's like the break glass in case of emergency thing in an elite team's playbook is just like, tell everybody that they're fired, and they have to earn their jobs back. Yes.
The other story, so are we the good luck charm? Because Arkansas broke their nine-game losing streak to Texas A&M after we had Sam Pittman on credit to us yes sir they are legit uh they probably will get absolutely pounded by Georgia this weekend but that doesn't take away from their legitness well so let's let's talk about this when it comes to the time of the game on Saturday it's a noon kickoff some people are saying that they made it a noon kickoff to uh to stick it to Sam Pittman because it feels like 11 a.m. for them, but that takes away an extra three hours of tailgating that Georgia fans are going to have.
So who does that favor? I don't know. Yeah, you're right.
I feel like it favors Sam Pittman. He seems like a morning guy.
It might, although Georgia is so fucking good. I mean, Vanderbilt's very, very bad, but to beat them that bad they're actually the the game of the year i wish if game day had any sense of the moment and any humor about them they would have game day at vanderbilt versus yukon yes because it would be hilarious that'd be fucking that game is gonna rule i can't wait to bet that game and regret betting it two minutes into the game what are you gonna do you gonna? Are you going to take the over on that? I don't know.
I mean, I think I'm going to take UConn. They've been playing frisky.
I think I'm going to take the over on turnovers in that game. Yeah.
Just root for absolute chaos. Yeah, root for just terrible, terrible football.
Oklahoma's broken. Spencer Rattler.
Heisman. One of the Heisman.
I don't know. He's like top four of he might have actually been the favorite.
He was, I think. I think he was a favorite going into the season, and now they're all chanting for the five-star backup, freshman backup Caleb Williams.
So, yikes. Yeah, that was tough.
Oklahoma stinks. I think they say, I think I'm putting the fraud label on Oklahoma this year.
I think Texas might beat them. There we go.
Texas might be back. Spencer Rattler, don't worry, dude.
even if you suck all year um you can just do the combine and do a pro day and somehow some way you'll be a top five pick you have a cool name because every well and also that's just what the nfl does now is just all right so we go into the college football season there's one quarterback that everyone likes and by the time we get to april there's quarterbacks that everyone likes. So there's Spencer Rattler, and then there's the guy from Ole Miss.
What's his name? Matt Corral. Yeah.
Matty Heisman. Matty Heisman.
They're at Golden Corral. He's going to have – that game's going to be so sick on Saturday.
Yeah. Lane Kiffin going up against Nick Saban in Alabama.
Lane Kiffin, by the way, he just is awesome at Twitter. I don don't know if you saw he was on a recruiting trip in California and he took a picture of the airport like welcome to Los Angeles and he's like well this place isn't great and then he also tweeted at Sebastian Janikowski because today is the 11 year anniversary of him letting Sebastian Janikowski kick like a 75 yarderer.
And he's like, if I could do it again, I'd do it again. Hell yeah.
I mean, just seeing Sebastian line up from 75 yards out, and then the kick went like 61 yards. Yeah.
And went further to the left than it did long. That was a great kick.
I love Lane Kiffin. There's going to be a lot of rat poison this week for Lane.
We're doing it right now with maddie heisman uh-huh don't listen to this maddie it's yes poison bricey heisman on the other side yeah i mean i just feel like young is a tiktok name everything i don't think you can win a national title you know what i'm gonna say it albama's not gonna win the title this year bryce young tiktok name that's a that's a sway house spencer rattler that's a parlor name yeah who else we got yeah Spencer Rattler, that's a parlor name. Yeah.
Who else we got? Yeah. Spencer Rattler definitely like stormed CPAC.
Yeah. Because he was too far right.
There's a... Yeah, I think Alabama this entire season, what we're going to end up doing is we're just rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic and Alabama is going to win in the national championship game by 70 points.
But we will have new colors. We will have new colors.
We will absolutely have new colors. But this is going to be, this Saturday is like the first big Saturday where there's a lot of really, really big games with a lot at stake.
Cincinnati versus Notre Dame or Kirk Herbstreet. Kirk Herbstreet did reach out to me.
He's like, this is a big game for our bet. And I was like, you're right.
Is this moving day or is this separation Saturday uh or is it yeah separation Saturday it will be the day that you know Saturday night will be like chaos everywhere this is like oh seven even though it's not chaos no just college football if Lane Kiffin wins in Tuscaloosa it's gonna be electric Joey dude Joey Freshwater's coming back oh my god he will be and and I don't know who they play next week, but they will lose by 100. They will beat Alabama, shock the world, and it will be the biggest letdown spot in the world.
Lane Kiffin's going to be drunk all week. Yes.
He's not even going to be hungover yet for the next game. Yeah.
Still drunk. Anything else from college football? Anyone? Hank? Love Houston Friday night.
Oh. Okay.
Coach Dana, you're back. You're back with with coach Dana they're a dark horse for the whole the whole thing play for the whole damn thing yeah they lost week one yeah it's a long season who just got like a 70 burger on them from Texas that's week one that's week one you can make mistakes week they're a different team right now.
Yeah, they've grown from week one. Yeah.

I like that.

Friday night.

Friday night lights.

Coach D.

I'm dreading watching Wisconsin on Saturday,

but I will get up for that game,

and I will pick myself up off the mat,

and we'll see what happens.

I just want to remind people, too,

like Graham Mertz, they're just kids,

but they do.

Wisconsin does have the best backup names in college football,

so Chase Wolfe and Danny Vandeboom. Great, great names.
I mean, come on. I'm just saying.
What's the line? Put them in. Danny Vandenboom is a quarterback? Danny Vandenboom.
It's not like PLL players. Yeah, Danny Vandenboom.
And Chase Wolfe. I mean, that's, you just tweet the Wolfe emoji over and over.
Whose line is it anyway for Cincinnati-Notre Dame? I think it moved a little bit. I think Cincinnati minus 2.5.
I love Notre Dame. I think it's 2.5.
I love them in that game. I love Cincinnati.
It's the biggest game in their history of their program. I like Drew Pine.
And he reminds me a little bit of... Yourself.
Like a sober... I was going to say a sober Johnny Manziel.
And we also have great baseball coming up this week too. Do we want to talk about that real quick? Hank, Jake, we're...
Status update before we get to Hot Seat Cool Throne. We've got five teams for two spots right now.
It's anyone's race. I saw someone did the math and there could be a five-way tie.
Yeah, Jeff Hassan tweeted it. Okay.
What happened to his eye, by the way? He said he got some procedure, and he changed his zoom in. He patches a hole in him.
Pretty funny. Damn, that's funny.
That is funny. That's baseball guy funny.
Yeah, that's very funny. That's like Trey Wingo after he smokes a joint funny.
Yeah. You can dodge a wrench.
Right? Yeah. I mean, there's...
Best case scenario

is Yankees-Red Sox one game wild card

playoff. Worst case scenario is

the Red Sox don't win another game

and don't even make the playoffs,

which is where it feels like it's going

right now. So it'd be Tuesday night.

I'll just say it right now. If it's Yankees-Red

Sox Tuesday night,

I'll intro the show and then it

just has to be you and Jake talking to each other for the first couple minutes. Are you going to pinstripe Dan on me? No, I want to see you guys.
Pinstripe Dan doesn't get into one-game playoff games. No? No.
Pinstripe Dan cares about Ring 28. The Yankees don't make the playoffs until they make the playoffs.
Yeah, no. One-game playoff.
If you're a real Yankees fan, you don't even watch the one-game playoff. That's an affront to the greatest franchise of all time.
Being pretty disrespectful to Billy Seamhead. Oh, yeah, Billy loves the Yankees, too.
We definitely need to do a live stream of Hank and Jake, though. Just the two of you in a room together watching that playoff game.
I'm sure we would do the whole... All the sportsmanship.
No, just the two of you. Just the two of you.
Just the two of you. Hell in a cell of sportsmanship.
We wouldn't do that, but... No, just the two of you.
Hopefully, Joe West doesn't call in the game. By the way, an update on him.
No, it's my hot seat. Cool drone.
Never mind. All right, let's do it.
We should say, though, that the most important part of this Yankees hot streak that they've been on is their turtle. Yes.
Yeah. Bronxy.
Bronxy the turtle, who should have his pinstripes by now, because I think they are eight no right with broxy six no billy no what kind of turtle is it red-eared slider and how many beers for you i don't do to fuck the turtle oh you don't do turtles you do do frogs got it all right no that's a fair, yeah. No, no, that's...
Billy takes the turtles out and just does the shell.

Yeah.

Turtles can't come out of the shell.

Yeah, they can.

Turtles can't come out of their shell.

What do you mean?

Yes, they can.

You've heard that phrase, like, you coming out of your shell.

Yeah.

Coming out of my shell.

What about a snail's coming out of your shell?

I've been doing just fine.

Who's the tight enders on the Patriots now?

Hunter Henry. Hunter Henry.

Hunter Henry.

No, I think I tried.

John Smith.

No.

Never mind.

He tried.

You Miami player, he tried to take a turtle out of the shell.

No, he tried to rip a turtle in half.

And his buddy is there.

Yeah, really fucked up.

And what was his name?

The Aguile Brothers.

No, but I think it was a tight end there too.

Who's the one who saved him from the frat guys?

What was that turtle's name?

It was something really sad that they like, yeah, it was like a frat.

Yeah, it was Roberto Aguayo's son, or brother, sorry.

Izzo, Izzo.

Turtle.

It's such a, Ricky Aguayo.

Yeah, and the tight end Izzo, they tried to.

The turtle's name was Turntle.

Turntle, that's right, yeah.

What a fucking awesome name for a frat turtle. And so it was Aguayo and Izzo together that did it? I think Izzo Gronk spiked the turtle.
Jesus. All right.
Well, yeah. Fucking Ricky Aguayo.
He fucking killed a turtle, dude. His name is Turntle.
Izzo's not on the Patriots. It's a great name for a turtle.
He was on the page. Turtle.
We should get a house turtle.

They live way too long.

Can you put them?

Can you put them?

Not if you have Roberto Buyer around.

Yeah, it's true.

He could take care of anything.

Can you leave them like around?

Yeah.

No, they need water.

They do?

We can leave water out.

Percies.

Nah, I don't want a turtle that needs water.

I'm out.

All right, let's do our hot seat, cool throne. And then we got Rex Ryan.
Great interview with Rex Ryan. When your home system or appliance breaks down, American Home Shield will help fix or replace the covered item, no matter its age.
Visit ahs.com slash listen for 20% off any plan. See ahs.com slash contracts for coverage details, limitations, and exclusions.
Okay, Hank, hot seat, Coltrone. My hot seat is Manning Stans.
Oh. Because Eli flipped everyone the birds? That was disgusting.
So I was actually, as I was writing this out, I had a little stay woke moment at the end of the broadcast. By the way, they did, I had first touchdown score, CeeDee Lamb plus 1100.
Oh, at the one? At the one, dropped it. I literally was, like, paralyzed in just anger.
Goes to commercial, comes back, and it comes back to them being like, Peyton Manning – or Eli Manning, congratulations on your number ceremony. Here's Bill Belichick and Tom Brady, like, complimenting you and, like, showing highlights.
It was awful. I had to turn it off.
This is why last week you said you don't watch it. Because it might happen.
So I turned it back on. I was in extreme pain.
And then they did this little montage. I had to change the channel until Chris Long came on.
Shout out Chris Long, who's awesome. He was awesome.
And then at the end of it, they said that they're going off until week seven. But before that, Eli flipped the cameras off.
So as I was typing this out, I was like, maybe the FCC came in and was like, you're – You think they got kicked off the air? No, I think they weren't even supposed to be on this week, and they said that they'd do another week in a row. I think they have 10 weeks is the contract.
They're coming back week seven. They should not have started week one with it.
Yeah yeah and i also don't know what the sports media is going to tweet about now that the manning cast is not that's why my hot seat or manning stands yeah cast stands yeah it's like half of sports media doesn't even watch the game they just tweet about the manning cast right it was pretty great when eli flipped the camera oh it's awesome because eli he forgot how live television works and he's just like hey you guys can blur this out right and payton was like do it do it do it even though he probably knew he shouldn't have done it yeah but that was awesome. Because he forgot how live television works, and he's just like, hey, you guys can blur this out, right? And Peyton was like, do it, do it, do it, even though he probably knew he shouldn't have done it.
Yeah, but I feel like the Mannings are above the law when it comes to the FCC right now. Yes, yes.
Archie Manning definitely controls it. Also, I think I saw Archie Manning's balls last night.
Really? He was on the couch, and he was wearing the shortest shorts. Those are some good balls.
Really great balls, actually. Those balls.
Two Hall of Fame balls.

Four Super Bowls came out of those nuts.

And Cooper.

And Cooper, the funniest person in America.

But yeah, he was sitting on the couch,

and he really sank into the couch,

and there wasn't a lot of fabric in between those thighs.

Love it.

Nicki Minaj status.

Nicki Minaj, yeah.

Archie Manning is Nicki Minaj's cousin's friend. He spent some time in Trinidad.
Also, I'm going war mode on Peyton Manning. Whatever.
What does that mean? I'm just going war. I think I'm in a rivalry with him.
Got it. I think he doesn't like me.
I think I'm living rent-free inside of his considerable head. Okay.
He asked me to come on the show. I'm not doing it.
Oh, there you go. Not doing it.
my nuts on peyton manning's forehead love it change of pace there you go that probably will seal it right there that joke uh my cool throne is the mets yeah so the mets uh by no stretch of the imagination were a complete dumpster fire this year they have been in the past years uh but they have a new owner stephen cohen and he came out and said he wants to raise the team's profile to a young diverse audience develop developing uh feature live comedy new design and special events so if you're worried about the mets what if you're worried about the mets don't have to worry about it because they're focusing now on live comedy new design and special events do you know what you know what? Like what? I love this. Problem solved.
I love whenever an owner's like, we want to make the game experience 365 and fully immersive, and you come to the park, and it's an entire experience. Just get a good team.
They just got to win. All they got to do is play good baseball, and people will be fun.
Especially in New York. People have fun.
You also have to have just like a tiny bit of self-awareness if you're Steve Cohen. You can't say, the first thing can't be live comedy.
Right. You can't be like, hey, instead of what, at the baseball game, as a nice change of pace, we're also going to have a circus on the field.
Yeah. Like, it's such low-hanging fruit for everybody that has a Twitter account or just anybody that's a fan of the team to get pissed off about.
You know what's live comedy? The Mets with runners in scoring position. Exactly.
There you go. Boom.
Got it. There you go, Stevie Cohen.
My other cool throne is, I have two, no big deal. My other cool throne is Lucky Larry Seven.
Yes. Our gambling goldfish, the Billy Fish.
Our sweet prince. He is one-on-one on picks this year.
People have been clamoring, asking when we're coming out with T-shirts. Ooh.
Bam. These are the T-shirts.
That's nice. They're fire.
They're tie-dye. And for the people in the states where the Barstool Sportsbook is live, we have an exclusive sweatshirt.
Awesome. Billy's holding it up right now.
Lucky Larry 7. So the T-shirts are going to be on sale.
You can buy the T-shirts. Anyone can buy the T-shirts anywhere that you can buy a t-shirt.
The sweatshirts, we have a promo on Thursday. Larry made a pick.
It was

the Bengals. And if the Bengals cover

the spread, everyone, and you

bet $50 more, you get a free sweatshirt.

Wow. Hey, I want to fact check you real quick.

You said that you can get the shirts anywhere that

you can buy a t-shirt. Is that true?

Well, I don't know. Some countries and

shit. We have listeners from all over

that we've... If you go...
If we have

listeners from India that they can't

ship to India. Yeah, if I walk into Kohl's.
Yes. And you're on it? Do they have Wi-Fi? Yeah.
Then yes. Yes, you're right.
That's a good point. You can buy it anywhere.
At every store in America. Trumped.
Yep. Yep.
All right, PFT, your hot seat, Cool Throne. My hot seat is clocks.

Clocks are on the hot seat.

Is this the weekend that we set our clocks?

Yes.

No, this is. The first weekend of October is always the go-ahead.

Daylight savings time, fall back.

Fall back.

Spring forward, fall back.

After everything I went through this summer with time zones, you guys are doing this.

No.

It's fucked up.

No.

And it's sensitive.

It's the first weekend of October.

First Saturday of October. Wait, wait.
But this is a good one, right when we get the hour but it also gets darker earlier which sucks uh but yeah that just occurred to me but the real reason clocks are on the hot seat is because uh there's some controversy in the afl given how the red zone is now presenting their on-screen graphics yes so this so fox they moved their entire scoreboard down a little bit about like i don't know or 10 20 pixels and so now it's covered up the clock part of the scoreboard is covered up by the nfl red zone bottom line so when you're watching the game on the red zone you can see what the score is but you can't see how much time's left in the game people are saying saying that Fox is doing this intentionally so that they can get the ratings. NFL Network is saying, well, no, we're just going to display what they have on the screen, but they need to move the scoreboard up.
So eventually Red Zone ended up putting their own score bug on the screen over top of Fox's so that you could see what the clock is a score bug war. And so they're going back and forth.
Now it gets really interesting when you think about the fact that NFL players get paid in terms of what the CBA is, their percentage of revenue, is based on TV rights. So the more people that are watching on Fox, the more money the players are going to make in the future, the less money the owners will.
The more people are watching on the NFL Network, which is run by the league, which controlled by the owners siciliano siciliano that means that the owners are going to get more money so it's a scoreboard fight that has long lasting implications and ramifications i i love it too i i hope that it keeps going on i love i love these intermediate company like i love how some people are like they've become fox like supporters like i'm Fox supporters. I'm a fan of Fox Sports over the NFL Network, or I'm a fan of the NFL Network's on-screen presentation over Fox.
The only thing I can say is, fuck Valley Sports. They have the worst, by far.
They do. I do not like their presentation.
Isn't the Red Zone going to be up for grabs in a couple years? I believe so, yes. Yes lose it i think they're gonna put everything on amazon yeah amazon or the nfl is hoping that apple makes an offer yeah yeah join the club like wouldn't it be on delay i don't know i it these type of things stress me out so much that i don't want to think about them like cbs going to espn and losing the song stresses me out so much i cannot think about the SEC song yeah I cannot think about it I do not want to think about it it bums me out I just there there are you know when they're like there are bigger things to worry about in life these are the bigger things for me and I don't want to think about them it's gonna be so weird watching like a Florida Georgia game and you don't have first of all we've already been through enough not having Vern Lundquist greet us for that game.
I know. And now you're taking away the theme song.
I know. I don't know why they can't just piece together...
I was actually thinking about this for Keith Jackson, all-time Hall of Fame voice, obviously passed away a while ago, I think. Why can't they just piece his voice together like they do video games yeah and just let us watch a keith jackson stream they can so do it do what you did i want to watch keith jackson today do what you did with mrs soprano and just give us a cgi she died in real life she died in real life yeah and then died on the show yep she was back for that one episode where she was like a weird chuck and cheese animatronic Yeah.
It was real life. She died in real life, yeah.
And then died on the show. Yep.
She was back for that one episode where she was like a weird Chuck E. Cheese animatronic.
Yeah. It was real strange.
My Cool Throne is going to be my... Whoops.
It's going to be my Cool Throne. It's only season two.
Oh, you guys just wait. It's season two.
Oh, what? Uh-oh. That sounds like a threat, Hank.
That was a threat. Are you threatening us? I'm not.
What was the threat? He's going to watch Many Saints of Newark. He's going to spoil it for us.
We have to watch it right when it comes up. I would never do that.
We got to get Jeff D. Lowe to give us a streamer.
Yeah. We'll watch it before you.
Is that what it's called? A streamer? No. Screener.
Whatever. I was close.
Yeah. I'm a fucking dad too.
Shut up. Kelly, if you're listening to this show right now, please book us somebody from Many Saints of Newark so that we can get the streamer to watch, and then we can spoil it for Hank.
My cool throne is my pupils. My pupils are on the cool throne.
We did a sub-a-thon last week when we watched Thursday Night Football. Mills Mafia didn't really show out too much, but Billy was eating an inch of sub for every point that was scored.
If we got up to 300,000 subscribers,

I was going to lose the shades. We got up to

296, something like that,

during the stream. They didn't come

off. We're doing it again this Thursday.

We've got the lucky Larry bet in the

Barstool Sportsbook. We're

going to do it a little bit differently, where Billy's

going to eat a hot dog for every score.

A touchdown, that's a hot dog. An extra point,

that's a hot dog. Yes,

Billy already agreed to it.

What about safety, PFT? Safety counts

is a hot dog for every score. So a touchdown, that's a hot dog.
An extra point, that's a hot dog. Yes, Billy already agreed to it.
And then... What about safety, PFT? Safety counts as a hot dog.
I think it counts as two. That's a hot dog.
That's two hot dogs. No, no, no, no.
It's so hard to get a safety. Two-point conversion, I'll do three hot dogs for the touchdown and the two-point conversion.
Okay, great. That was so stupid of you because it's way more likely a two-point conversion than a safety.
But a safety is just two.

Okay, a safety is just two.

Yeah, you'll just eat two hot dogs.

One of them.

Agreed.

So we're going to be doing that.

And then I think the way we're going to do this one, correct me if I'm misstating this,

we're going to pick a number.

I think it's going to be like 5,000 over how many subscribers we have going into that night.

And then after 5,000 new subscribers hit, we're going to draw a ball from the lotto machine and we're going to try to stick exactly on that number. So let's say it's 3,500 people for 30 seconds.
For 30 seconds. If it happens, you show your people.
If it happens... Let's say the theoretical number is 305,000 do a lottery machine ball and if it's 52 then the number becomes 305,052 right and we're gonna try to have to band together to hold it at that number for 30 seconds and boom the glasses come off so it's up to you it's really up to you listening at home i think they can do it i think they can do i don't think they're gonna fuck with us this time i think they can do it i think they can do it.
I think they can do it. I don't think they're going to fuck with us this time.

No, I think they can do it.

I think they can do it.

Do you want to make it within one?

No.

We talked about this before.

We talked about all of this.

Okay, we were still negotiating the hot dogs.

No, you just keep adding hot dogs to how much you have to eat.

So field goal is three.

Yes, you have to eat three hot dogs per field goal.

But a touchdown is only one. Yes.
You have the extra points one. And then so is two-point conversion? You said three for a two-point conversion.
Okay, yeah. And two for safety.
No, it's one for safety. Okay, fine.
One for safety. Deal.
I'll meet you halfway. He just negotiated himself and eating so many more hot dogs.
So many Billy. You're insane.
How's the joke on us?

Because you're paying for the hot dogs.

Oh, yeah.

Got us.

Oh, speaking of which,

how many days are there in September?

30.

All right, so Friday,

I want to see your milk budget.

Perfect.

All right, perfect.

Where do you think we're at?

We're over 100.

Okay.

Good, good.

I look forward to paying for my boy's milk.

Thank you.

All right, so yeah, tune in. Thursday night, Jags, Bengals.
We'll do a stream. We'll set it up.
Billy will eat hot dogs. PFT's going to show his eyes.
It's going to be electric. Alright, my hot seat is baseball fans, because Joe West is retiring.
I feel like he's getting bullied by this, and I'm hoping that maybe it's a little... He's going to...
Basically, when you go to a concert, and maybe it's not a great concert, and the encore, and people clap, but it's not that loud of a clap, but they still come out for the encore because that's just customary. I'm hoping that he is saying he's going to retire.
No one's going to be like, no, please, Joe West, don't retire. And then he's like, I've heard i've heard the people one more year i'll come back yeah he he would do something like that like why the fuck are we having a coach k retirement year not a joe west joe west joe west is what we need he's an all-time great joe west is baseball and if you don't like joe west you got to dump in your pants coach k owns a disgusting amount of real estate i don't know no no no yes yes and i don't care I don't think about Coach K at a disgusting amount of real estate.
I don't care. No, no.
No, yes.

Yes, and I don't care. I don't

think about Coach K at all. I think about

him all the time. I don't think about him ever.
I think about him

every day. Until Big Cat brings him up, then I start

thinking about him. But Joe West would have been hilarious if they

went every single town and had to give him a

fucking present. Yeah, everybody

just gives him a cane.

We're going to have one major

moment in the postseason with him. We need to have Joe West umpiring behind home plate every game of the World Series this year all seven? yes you have to honor Joe West and acknowledge the lifetime of service I think the way they do it in the playoffs is it's the crew so he'll be he can make a call, a crazy call every game of the series, they rotate the bases beautiful i need more joe west and then my cool throne is the collective internet because sometimes the internet just gets in on a joke and does something and it just makes me smile matt nagy's press conference on monday uh if you've ever watched anything on periscope they do like uh crowdsource moderation where you get to vote if something looks okay or if it's abuse.
And people were like, fuck this guy. One guy was like, I want to kill myself watching the Bears.
And everything was getting through. Everyone was like, looks okay, looks okay.
Not abuse. And it was fucking awesome.
I mean, Matt Nagy is just absolutely 100% fucking with everybody. Yeah.
Like, yeah, I might start Nick Foles. Yeah.
He's fucking with everyone,

but I just really appreciated.

That gave me a smile.

It's hard to get a smile

when thinking about the Bears right now,

but the one guy just being like,

this guy makes me want to kill myself

and everyone voted looks okay.

That's fine.

Was awesome.

Can I give you a little bit more good news?

Yeah.

There's a rumor out there.

That he's getting fired?

That if they lose to the Lions,

he's going to get fired. Matt Nagy's going to be fired.

Beautiful.

Beautiful.

Yeah.

I want it.

So we are all Lions fans this weekend.

I want it.

I want him.

I want him out.

I want him out.

And then I don't know what to do because that's part of being a fan

is that you chase the guy out of town and then you're like,

well, I don't know.

Someone else figure it out.

Yeah, who's going to be the interim head coach in that case?

Someone else do it.

Yeah.

I don't know. You should get Rex Ryan.
That would be great. Great interview coming up.
Jake, your hot seat, cool throne. Hot seat is making excuses.
So you look at Josh Norman on the injury report. He's dealing with two bruised lungs along with tissue damage, which may have caused him internal bleeding.
But rap sheet says he's in good spirits and hopes to play next week. So you can't really make excuses looking at that.
Imagine being in the hospital with internal bleeding. Bruised lungs.
And bruised lungs and you're worried about the game plan this weekend. Hopes to play.
I would milk that so hard if I had two bruised lungs and internal bleeding in the hospital. I would die if I had a bruised lung.
Yeah. My cool throne is the Chiefs.
They have a new weapon. His name is Josh Gordon.
Speaking of bruised lungs, yeah. Yeah.
PFT, for the bank the bank for your basic tweets just another weapon for mahomes this is that's unfair something like that that's unfair so so on sunday nights i do basic nfl tweets and my secret weapon is jake sitting next to me and jake just says out loud the things that he would like to tweet and he's such a big j he sounds like he's the language jake speaks is not english it's not Spanish. It's not Italian.
It's beat writer. You talk beat writer.
And so I just transcribe the things that you say out loud sometimes. That's perfect.
I like that. But it is...
It seems unfair at this point. Now, we don't know how Josh Gordon's going to play.
Yeah. Or on paper.
Or play. Or play it all.
Or play. Like, I'm going to wait to complain about this one.

And also...

For like eight years since he's had a good...

Yeah, I'm going to...

Everyone's like, oh, this is unfair.

The super team.

Like, let's just give it a few weeks.

Okay, guys?

Three touchdowns on the Patriots.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Let's give it a few weeks.

Billy, your hot seat, cool throw.

Georgia Southern was on my hot seat, but also on the hot seat is Brian Landry.

The dog.

Laundry. Laundry.

Laundry.

Yeah.

Dog claims to have found him.

Duh.

He says he's located the area he's in.

Duh.

He says that he saw his parents.

This was the most obvious thing ever.

Listen, I don't want to piss off the FBI, but the dog is better at manhunting than the FBI.

Yeah, it's like Dog the Bounty Hunter number one, and then the Hogville message board number two when it comes to locating people that are traveling. Yes.
And my cool throne is Nick Saban trying to recruit Archie Manning. Arch.
Arch Manning on the broadcast last night. Maybe he's trying to recruit Archie Manning to get his balls.
Just make an unlimited amount of Manning. Yes, stud him out.
Those balls are probably like how Yeah. How much do you think they go for in the black market? Just one of them.
A lot. Probably a couple million dollars.
Stud his ass out. Put him on a Kentucky farm.
Let him fuck. It was funny, though, when they were talking to him and Nick Saban was like, you know, I've just always wanted the opportunity to coach a Manning.
And talking about how he really wishes he could have coached one of them, but he was just, yeah. And he, and he kept talking about how great his quarterbacks have been doing recently.
Saban wants arch. He can feel in his bones.
100%. All right.
Good job, Billy. Yeah.
All right. Let's get to our interview.
We got our interview with Rex Ryan. Before we do that, PFT, you got a quick word.
All protein bars generally taste the same, but not one bars. One made protein bars are actually delicious with Reese's and Hershey's.
Only one Reese's peanut butter lover's protein bar is made with Reese's peanut butter. And only one Hershey's cookies and cream protein bars is made with Hershey's cookie bits while delivering 18 grams of protein and three grams of sugar.
One bars are the perfect protein bar to get you

through your busy day, whether you need a quick pick me up between meetings or you need some fuel to power you through your next workout. One also has other delicious flavors like birthday cake, maple glazed donut and blueberry cobbler.
Find all one bars at a retailer near you or on amazon.com. Now here is Rex Ryan

Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest it is former head coach rex ryan now on you can see him on espn you can also hear him on his new podcast it drops every monday it's called organized chaos with rex ryan Bart Scott. So check that out.
It is a podcast

on ESPN. Coach, can we still call you Coach? Are we allowed to still call you Coach? Absolutely.

It's a lot better than what people usually call me. So absolutely.
That's great. Okay.
So Coach,

we're very excited to have you on. We've been trying to get you on for a very long time.
We

had your brother on. We have questions about your entire career but let's do this tell us because you're obviously following the league very closely your biggest surprise of the 2021 season thus far i guess from a bad standpoint i'm surprised how bad washington's defense is playing yep They're 31st in the league.
I mean, you know, Seattle, we get that.

They got it locked down at 32, but Washington's 31st in the league in defense. I guess that's a huge surprise because everybody talks about how great that front is and how great this defense is.
And there's 30, you know, 31st. So it just goes to show this is a prove-it dang league.
And every single week, you've got to prove it. Doesn't matter what you've done in the past, you've got to prove it.
And I think they're the biggest disappointment to me. And as far as like a surprise, I guess you've got to say Carolina.
You know, I don't think we saw that coming. Certainly most New York Jet fans never saw it coming because nobody thought Sam Darnold could complete a pass let alone lead a team to 3-0 so I guess they're they're from a surprise standpoint on the positive side I guess you got to say Carolina so I'm a I'm a Washington football team fan grew up in Northern Virginia and I agree with you that defense sucks right now I don't and I don't know what the problem is because they're they returned all those key players from last year they've got the same defensive coordinator so So, I mean, you.
That defense sucks right now. I don't, and I don't know what the problem is because they're, they returned all those key players from last year.

They've got the same defensive coordinator. So, I mean, you're a defensive,

are you a,

are you a mad scientist in terms of like coming up with defenses?

How would you fix this Washington defense?

Yeah. Well, I think I'd be a lot more creative.

Like Jack Del Rio is a friend of mine.

We coached together in Baltimore back in the, you know,

the 2000 season when we, we both got got a Super Bowl ring from that team. But this isn't that team on defense.
And you've got to change the little things. I'd like to see Jack being a little more creative.
You can tell when he's going to rush five. He lines up in the 46 front, which covers the center, both guards.
Then he's got two edge guys. But you know what's coming? You know, you've got to do a little more things than just the one front, one coverage out of it.
And then if he's in a four-man front, it seems like all they're doing is playing two high safety looks. So I think he'll be more creative.
He needs to be more creative with it instead of just relying on that front four or front five to get there. And I think that'll help them.
They have to be more multiple than they've been. So you brought up that Baltimore team.
I had a bunch of questions about them, but one of them that I was looking at the other day, that Baltimore team, one of the best defenses of all time, they actually went through a five-game stretch, and you can tell me about this, where they didn't score an offensive touchdown. Actually went two and three in those games, which is crazy.
That's how good the defense was. How much is complementary football and one side of the team not pulling the weight for the other, how much does that affect a locker room and a team when you go through that stretch where it's like, hey, the offense isn't scoring, we have to do even more than we're usually asked to do played golf today with Tony Saragusa so he's over here and uh after this we're going to go to you know my lake or whatever but we used to talk about I go guys I go turnovers and things you know and if we're struggling offensively that's just more TV time for us.
So when you're great, when you are like amazing,

that's how you feel.

Like, all right, let's go, boys.

We get to get out there again.

There was never, ever any finger pointing

on that football team.

We just said, look, you give us 10 points,

that's good enough.

And here's the thing.

I don't think people realize how good that defense was. It started obviously up front with that front four we had, especially the tackles, Goose, Adams.
We had a guy named Larry Webster, Lionel Dalton. I'd roll those big old dudes in there on you.
But you couldn't run the ball. So we set the, everybody knows we set the NFL record for fewest points that year, right? Fewest points given up, 165.

But when you include the playoff, So we set the – everybody knows we set the NFL record for fewest points that year, right?

Fewest points given up, 165. But when you include the playoff games, we gave up less than 10 points a game on defense.
Like that's unheard of. People give up 10 points in one game, they're like, dang, that was a hell of a game.
Yeah, we'll do it for an entire season. That's how good this defense was.
and the fact that, you know, when Trent Dilfer came in,

it's like, look, just don't turn the damn thing over. If you just want to play complimentary football, we'll run the ball, we'll protect the football, and we'll win on defense.
And that's what we did. And the Brian Billich credit, he never sat back and said, being an offensive guy, he's like, hell, I'm just going to ride my boys.
I'm going to ride that defense. And that's exactly what he did.
You know, so he never let his ego get in the way. And you know what I thought was interesting? Didn't Bruce Arians do the same thing? He took himself out of it last year.
He's like, hell with it. You guys were on the dang offense.
Yeah. And he left it to Byron Leftwich and Tom Brady.
But that took, like, people say, well, hell, he's not going to. No, no.
I give that guy so much credit because, look, your freaking ego wants to say, no, I'm the greatest damn offensive coach ever because I feel the same way on defense. And he said, no, all right, you let's see what happens they started going like this but when we made the switch to Trent Dilfer that year and I get it Trent Dilfer wasn't going to break any records but he wasn't going to get you beat either and that's all we needed at that position all right so follow-up question to that uh you were obviously around the 85 Bears with your dad ryan all-time football guy the conversation comes up who's the best defense of all time a lot of people say 85 bears that's what i think but what do you think you were around both teams you're probably one of the few people who can really talk about it yeah i'll say it's the 85 bears and the only reason i say that is they beat you before the game was ever played.
People were scared to death over that team. They knew they were going to get their ass kicked.
With us, people, for whatever reason, maybe it's because we didn't blitz, they just assumed that, well, you know, we might have a chance here. Here's our plan.
And then when the game, when the ball got kicked off, then that's when they realized they had no chance. But I think before the game, people knew they'd never had a chance against the Bears, where before people thought they did, they quickly realized they didn't.
But two of the greatest defenses in the history of the game. And quite honestly, I'm super proud of that fact that You know, Orion was part of of it.
It's funny, but the best defense the Ravens might have ever had might have been in 06. Nobody talks about us because we never won the whole thing.
But if you look at a defense that led the league in more statistical categories than any defense in the history of the game, It was actually the 06 Ravens, but it doesn't matter. And they said it before, you can't ever be considered the greatest of all time unless you win it all.
And that 2000 Ravens defense did it, and so did that 85 Bear D. I want to go back real quick to your childhood.
Growing up, the Ryan boys, Buddy Ryan's obviously your dad dad you come from a football family uh you growing up how who was the bigger pain in the ass to your dad you or your brother well probably my older brother jim i think was the oldest but my twin brother was he was right there but but dad had a great thing he'd say this one so great but he goes i'm gonna hit both of you to make sure i got the right one. So if Rob did something, I'm like, what the hell? He hit both of us, man.
But now we were double trouble. There is no doubt.
Never lost a fight ever. That's because I had my twin brother with me.
I don't care. You could be goose.
And he was going to get his ass kicked that day. You know You're going to fight me and my twin brother.
He's going to be – he was going to get his ass kicked that day you know what I mean you're gonna fight me and my twin brother he's gonna be that you're gonna get his first loss you know what I mean but that was kind of how we grew up you know we we kind of lived on the edge

a little bit but then we kind of saw our path and realized that that you know we got to go

you know we wanted to do something with our lives be coaches of what we wanted to do

Thank you. path and realized that that uh you know we got to go you know we wanted to do something with our lives be coaches of what we wanted to do and we kind of had to cool it out but we definitely we definitely got it out of our systems when we were younger and who is the better football player i think my brother was probably better than me when we were younger but when we got older i was a better player because i was actually bigger bigger stronger got it so um your first head coaching job at the Jets we actually to give you a compliment uh we've said that hard knocks has never been the same since you were in it because you you made it special uh that was your second year I believe um but your first year the Jets like we're watching them now.
It's been a long time.

It's been since you've been there that they've been competitive. What, you know, your ability to change a culture, what do you attribute that to? Because that you see it and we talk about it

from a media standpoint, culture, culture, culture, but we really don't know what we're talking about

unless you're inside the locker room. So what are we actually talking about when we talk about

culture? Well, I think I was, I was a right hire at the right time. So when I went in there with

Thank you. unless you're inside the locker room.
So what are we actually talking about when we talk about culture? Well, I think I was a right hire at the right time. So when I went in there with the Jets, it was always the same old Jets.
And remember, they were going to lose Brett Favre. So Favre was, you know, you weren't going to have a Hall of Fame quarterback.
So who the hell wants that job? Well, there was like 11 candidates, but I was the right guy. And the reason I was the right guy is because I was going to come in and improve a defense that was 23rd in the league.
I came in and said, you know, everybody says, well, you had the best defense in the league. Yeah, well, I took it over.
It was 23rd in the league. We took it to one the very first year.
So I knew I could fix that. And I took a guy, a defensive lineman named Marquise Douglas, who was a free agent, college free agent.
Nobody's heard of him. Took a guy named Bart Scott, who was a college free agent linebacker.
Okay, a lot of people have heard of him. All right.
And then a little guy, a little white safety named Jim Leonard. My favorite.
Who was smart as hell. On his second team already.
This was going to be his third team. And he's a free agent.
None of them drafted. I did that on purpose.
I wanted to bring into my locker room, here's three guys that weren't even drafted. But they can play their ass off because they're smart.
And they're tough. So I got them at all three levels.
That's how we changed that defense overnight. And we went in there and I had three guys that were on that ship with me that made it so much easier.
And when I went in there, there was no finger point because we had already done it. We had already been the best defense in the league.
So that's what we were trying to bring in there. i think that that culture on defense changed overnight and then offensively i was like we're going to bully your ass and one of the reasons was because i knew i didn't have a have a great quarterback i was gonna have to play a rookie first minicamp guys first minicamp we got you know i'm thinking everybody's raving about mike tannebop's telling me how good this kid is we got him rat lift and i'm like all right so kellen kellen clemens and this rat lift kid are battling out one one and one a after that first minicamp i'm like maybe i shouldn't have talked that much crap because i was like these guys there's no freaking way we're winning with these guys.
There's no way. So I'm like, we're going to have to draft somebody.
So we went out looking and the Stafford was freaking unbelievable, but he was going to be the first pick. We knew we couldn't get there.
So I went for the next best thing, which I got in Mark Sanchez, but we had to trade. My brother and I actually orchestrated that trade because he was with the Cleveland Browns.
We gave up three players that I knew Mangini would overvalue. And we gave up a first and second round pick just to move up to get to six where he could get Sanchez.
But it worked out perfect. And I, you know, to get Sanchez and look, I knew he wasn't, he wasn't going to be Stafford.
You know, I knew that, but he certainly was the next best thing in there. And, you know, to get Sanchez.
And, look, I knew he wasn't going to be Stafford.

You know, I knew that.

But he certainly was the next best thing in there.

And I knew he had the tools to be decent.

And he had the mentality to be decent.

So we come in there and we're working. And I was like, shoot, we better run the damn football.

Here's the crazy thing. If you guys go back and look at the stats, we ran the ball that year.
Like these guys, how come it's so hard to win with these rookie quarterbacks? Because you're playing in the men's league. That's what these dudes do for a living.
It ain't a bunch of kids running around. They got math class next period.
Like, I'm sorry. So you're going to get, you know, that's checkers.
We're playing chess in this league. All right.
And that's why it's so hard for rookie head coaches, you know, like college coaches. And it's hard to make the transition from college to the NFL.
So either way, you know, it blows me away how well shit, you know, you, you can't win. You've got a rookie quarterback.
I'm like, yeah, you can if you can run the darn football and play defense. Yeah.
So I'm like, we ran the ball 607 times that rookie year of Mark Sanchez. My first year as a head coach.
We threw it 320 times. Wow.
So you want to protect the quarterback? Hello. Well, half the damn guys who have rookie quarterbacks, please listen.
You want to protect the quarterback. One way to do it is to run the football.
All right? That's one way to do it. Yeah.
And, you know, here's the other thing. How many times have we heard it's impossible to beat a Bill Belichick coach team with a rookie quarterback? It's true.
Yeah. It's true, right? Absolutely.
I beat him twice with two different – I beat him with two different rookie quarterbacks. So you're right, it's impossible.
But this – I've slapped it. You know, dumb defensive coach kind of figured it out.
Yeah. So you left out a pretty big part, I think, of what you did to change the culture in New York, and that's you buried a football.
You took a football. When you got beat by the Patriots, I think it was at 45 to 3.
We didn't get beat. We got annihilated.
Here's the thing. You bring that up.
Both teams are 9-2, okay? Both teams are 9- two. We weren't exactly a bad football team,

but my God,

did we play bad that day?

And part of the reason is we lost our brains that day.

We lost Jim Leonard on a Saturday practice.

We,

we had,

and I got to pull this.

So this Robert Solis said,

we had a great week of practice.

Six,

six stuff.

We had a freaking great week of practice. We really did.

The best week of practice we've really did. The best week of

practice we've ever had. We go into Gillette Stadium, wherever the hell it was in New England.

We're playing them. We got destroyed, dude.
Right from, I mean, right from jump. And I'm like,

you know, I was that idiot too that all I wore was that little, you know, little sweater vest.

Yep. Freezing my ass off.

And you want to see Cole?

Stand out there and get beat 45 to 3.

I mean, you talk about it.

I'm like, damn.

I couldn't wait to get that damn game over with.

But I'm sitting back, and I watch the game on the way home,

and I'm like, you can't explain it.

We played so poorly.

It was a horrible game plan, which we thought was going to be a great game plan. All this stuff was against us.
And I'm like, man, what do I do? So I had all my team come in. And they know I'm going to just get all over their ass because we got beat, all that stuff.
I'm like, Meet me on the practice field.

Now they know I'm pissed, right?

So they're all dressed.

They're ready to go.

I had already dug a hole.

And I had the game ball, and I'm like, this is the game ball from this.

I'm going to bury this mother.

I want every one of you to go home.

And in six weeks, we're going to come back and play that team.

We're going to kick their ass.

That's what I told them.

That's it.

And everybody went home.

Because you couldn't.

What were they going to do?

Watch the tape?

I mean, after that ass whooping?

There was no way to do it.

And so I had the pulse of my team.

I thought that was the right thing to do.

Okay, I'll admit.

I called my old man and said, Dad,

did you ever get your ass kicked that bad before? He goes, oh, yeah. I go, what'd you do? He goes, I'll admit.
I called my old man and said, Dad, did you ever get your ass kicked that bad before?

He goes, oh, yeah.

I go, what'd you do?

He goes, I buried the football.

So I can take credit for it.

It was my old man that told me to bury the football.

I love it.

Was it actually the game ball?

Be honest.

Or was it just one that you had?

It was the real game ball.

It was the actual game ball.

So is it still there to this day?

It's still there. It's probably some collector's going to go through there.
It's right here. Yeah.
I'm going to dig this son of a job, sell it on the internet for $10,000. It works, though.
We love football guys who do very literal things like this, like burying a football. What was the other motivational tool you used that was maybe very literal that you knew could get a little

extra juice out of the guys? I mean, I'd tell them the truth every time I would tell them the truth, but one that my brother would, would do would be like the bat game and his, you know, the record in the bat game was like unbelievable. So he had all these baseball bats printed with that opponent on there.
And

Sean Payton, I guess,

to this day, still uses it.

But you choose it. Like, who's the team that doesn't really know you, all that type of stuff.
And you kind of bring the bat and you put the logo on and all that stuff. But there are different things.
My biggest thing was motivation for me started, you know, in training camp, mini camps and all that. I knew my players.
All right. I knew every one of my players.
I'd sit back. I'd talk to them in stretch lines, wherever.
I knew my players. And when I talked to my players, it was genuine and honest.
And, you know, I get a little carried away, but I believe in being physical. You know, I was bullied when I was a kid.
I was dyslexic, so I couldn't spell cat, you know, and you'd start reading in front in front of the class and everybody make fun of me. And I was like, all right, well, I'm going to tell you this, you know, recess has come.
So in recess, it was coming. It wasn't that funny when I was kicking the shit out of somebody.
So to me, nobody laughed at me after recess. and to me this was was how I grew up.
So you can make fun of me. Guess what I'm going to do? I'm going to kick your ass.
And that's how it was. My teams were always going to be physical.
They were always going to play with passion. And they're going to play like their head coach.
You want to see a team play like their head coach? Look at the energy and passion the L.A. Rams played with, with that Sean McVay running around.
People make fun of them and stuff. I'm like, damn, I remember doing that when Sean Green ran for a touchdown.
I'm wondering what the hell I was doing in the end zone. Yeah.
But it's like same kind of passion. Then you see some of these duds that couldn't motivate anybody on the sideline.
And I'm like, no wonder their team didn't play with any heart. You know, it's like this guy's there for the money.
I was never there for the money. I was always there for the love and the passion for the game.
So who, like, you know, not to name names, but like if you see a coach that doesn't have that passion, can they succeed in the NFL if they're so, like, you know, maybe advanced scheme-wise but don't have that rah-rah passion? Yeah, they were never more advanced than me scheme-wise. Wasn't even close.
All right? Because, you know, I was dyslexic, but I also had the highest score ever on problem-solving and creativity. So I was was way ahead all them them cats i thought they were smarter than me wait ever you have you have the highest score of all time highest score of all time in maryland on those things but whatever i'm just a guy yeah i'll say this the thing the thing about like some of these guys that i watch you know your your question question was could they be successful? You're damn right they can if you have a Hall of Fame quarterback.
If you have a Hall of Fame quarterback, I don't care who the hell you are. And I watch them all the time.
You know, this kid in Green Bay, he's one of six coaches that went to back-to-back championship games

in the history of the NFL his first two seasons, okay?

Six of them.

You're also talking to one of them also.

Me and a guy named Jim Harbaugh are the only ones without a Hall of Fame quarterback.

Everybody else had a Hall of Fame quarterback. So to answer your question, if you have a Hall of Fame quarterback, I don't care.
You can be Melba toast and you can still win. This game is such a quarterback driven league that if you have that guy, you're going to win.
Okay. So then follow up to that.
Bill Belichick has had a Hall of Fame quarterback for a very long time. What though did bill belichick do that was better than every other coach because i think we all agree or you know most people agree best coach of all time what is it about bill belichick what would he do in game plans that were like damn he always has that edge yeah i think his biggest from, like, his preparation second to none.
You know, like, his game management. I think his skills in game management are better than anybody's that I would ever go against.
You know, he's a great coach X and O-wise. He's got his own way of motivating, you know, and it's dug in like it's ingrained in there.

So he's brilliant.

He's the best I ever went against and easily the best coach I ever went against.

But I always said this to him.

I said, one day I'm going to have a freaking Tom Brady.

And when I do, I'm going to kick your ass.

And he used to laugh like, all right, Rex, whatever.

But we played him one time without Tom Brady. All right.
I got to coach against him one time without Tom Brady. And it wasn't a garbage game the last game of the year.
It was the fourth game of the season, and he was suspended for four games. And I looked, I'm like, thank God.
So I'm in Buffalo. I'm like, we we're gonna get to playing without tom brady and i knew damn well i said he wasn't gonna win that game no way in hell was he gonna win you check the score out i think we beat him 18 nothing in new england so yes he's the greatest coach ever or whatever and i i will never dispute that but having tom brady makes a hell of a difference he's getting ready to find out this Sunday how much of a difference yeah so you think Bucs are going to win big yeah damn right yeah I think they're going to win now winning big I'm not so sure about they're going to win them uh-huh yeah Tom Brady is Tom Brady's ridiculous how much does Brady have to prove he just won a Super Bowl yeah I've been saying it all the time.
Here's the thing. As a coach, you think we know.
I knew I could take any defense and I'd be one or two in the league. That's how I thought.
That's all I ever knew. Then when I went to Buffalo, I'm like, I don't need to take anybody with.
This is a good defense.

We'll be great.

They dudes never bought in.

You know, I challenge them mentally.

They never wanted to do that.

They wanted to rush for, do what Washington does.

Let's just put it on the front four and that's it.

And we're down, you know, 16th in the league in defense.

So that was the biggest mistake I ever made when I went there. Get somebody that's been around you, been there and done it.
And that's what I did with the Jets. But, you know, I think as a coach, though, we can make the argument you think it's about you more than it is about your players.
And there's a line that my dad told me many, many years ago. Because when I was telling him, I can go anywhere, I'm the best there is.
And he goes, listen, son, he goes, no coach can win without players. There's some coaches can't win with them, but no coach can win without them.
So that was something that you learn the hard way. And I think Belichick learned that last year.
Yeah. Yeah.
I want to ask you about your time in Buffalo. We love Buffalo.
We love the Bills. We love the fan base.
It's probably a very fun place to coach or to play football. I heard rumors that you would spend a good amount of time.
Was it the one tree in right next to the practice facility there? Yeah, I go there after a win. I go there and sneak back in a corner.
Nobody even noticed me. Yeah, it's a great place.
And I heard, so we were going back looking at the history there of you with Bills and Billy, Billy Football, one of our guys here who works for us on the show, he reminded us about the time that you named IK Inampali I don't I'm probably probably butchered that last name but you named him a captain for the bills in your game against the Jets and he's famously known as a guy that broke Geno Smith's jaw in the locker room incident uh what what was your thought process going into that did you were you trying to send a message to your guys or to their guys yeah no i i thought he had a great week of practice no dude of course that was my subtle thing you want to stick the cabin send gino out there will break his jaw again but no that was the kind of game it was gonna be i let everybody know it and and that was my choice of captain. And all my former players knew what they – they're like, damn, you knew Rex was going to do that.
And I would, man. I'd send Richie Incognito out there against Miami and all that type of stuff.
But, yeah, that's just kind of me. I guess I'm a little different than most.
Yeah. We talked about, you know, burying a football after a bad game.
What happened after the butt fumble game? Did you guys watch that over and over on tape or what did you do with that tape? Yeah, after I puked like 20 times. That was the worst, I mean, the worst quarter of football in anybody's life.
Because we gave up a huge screen pass for like an 80 yard touchdown we fumbled a kickoff uh return for a touchdown we we we you know we have the butt fumble return for a touchdown it was like that it was a game and all of a sudden we gave up like 28 points in that span it's like wow it is funny because people look like, you know, Oh, the butt fumble. Like I freaking called it.
You know what I mean? Like, yeah. And I love it.
And they look at Mark the same way. Like, Hey, that's the butt fumble guy.
But Sanchez is also the guy that won four road playoff games, including a victory over Peyton Manning and Tom Brady in their prime, not when they were done in their prime. And so, you know, as bad as that play was, you know, I hope that, you know, that him and I both aren't defined by that play.
That's part of our history. But, you know, there's no way that's defined to me.
Anybody knows me. We did a lot of things that were a lot better than that.
But if that's the way people want to look at it, they couldn't hold a freaking jock ever in their life. Yeah, I don't think that you guys – I don't think that you or Mark is defined by that.
I think that's more in the lines of just the Jets lore. That's just like a jet play, a classic jet play that happened.
And along those same lines, I have to ask you about America's heartthrob, Mike Greenberg. You get to work with him all the time.
How depressed does Greeny actually get when the Jets stink? Oh, God, it's hilarious. It's absolutely hilarious.
And they go, just relax. What the hell? He is so passionate, he goes, you've got to go back and coach there.
You've got to coach. I said, fine.
Give me $5 million a year. I'll go back and coach him.
I said, but until that time, I'm not going back there. What, do you want me to volunteer? Like, I'm not doing it.
So, but he is hilarious. Like, I've never seen a guy, like, it ruins, it won't ruin his ruin his day it'll ruin his damn week he's so freaking passionate about the jets i just tell he's a blast to work with i can tell you that much he is a blast to work with um so uh i had a couple we had a couple other questions i had one tough question for you i was looking uh my twitter search of of anytime i mentioned Rex Ryan, and I found a video of you farting during a press conference in Buffalo.
Can you confirm or deny? I never farted during a press conference. I watched the video.
It sounded like you did. No.
Not that I know of. Okay.
I mean, not that I know of, but, you know i i talk a lot of shit in a press conference but i never farted i don't think in a press conference now look what i did do is pretend i was walt patolsky one time and talking to julian edelman i did that in a press conference or something but i don't remember farting in a press conference okay i remember farting hey i remember farting at a team meeting one time you know there was a microphone i gave it one of these deals it ripped the whole damn it shook the whole damn building um and everybody's like what but you know hey there's certain ways of motivating you gotta get their attention that's just guy humor get their attention. That's just guy humor.
I certainly got their attention. Yeah, that's just guy humor.
Maybe I did. I don't remember.
Okay, fair. And then also we were hoping that because you work in New York sometimes that you would maybe be in person today because we wanted to, you know, make some foot jokes, but it's a little harder over Zoom yeah no absolutely but now that's something I'm identified with no question about that that was definitely it you know I love my wife's feet I don't want to tell you so that was the way for me to bring it up without having to really bring it up that's an old media trick right there I brought it up but I didn't bring it up because i said i wasn't gonna bring it up yeah you know what's funny like because i was like yeah i just owned a damn thing they're like no hell no just say it's a personal thing in my eye whatever dude i love my wife's feet i don't know what to say i think that's a perfect answer to it it's like i think i think it's kind of sweet how much you like your wife's feet.
That's good. I do, man.
I love everything about my wife, everything. She's gorgeous.
We're going on 35 years of marriage. Yeah, she's the greatest ever and one of the most beautiful women in the world.
Obviously, she has the most beautiful feet in the world. We all saw that.
It know it's just the way it is man do you wish that your wife got a tattoo of her wearing a better quarterbacks jersey it's still got that bad boy right there but it's uh nah I see you know it's funny I never thought anything of it. So I get this tat.

I'm not thinking it had like a number eight on it.

And I'm like, yeah, that's not a quarterback.

Quarterback's actually six.

I never thought anything of it.

I had this tattoo like year one or something like that, but nobody saw it until, you know, years later.

And then it became a big deal or whatever.

But you know what?

Some people are, you know, some people are invested in their team and others aren't. Yeah.
Yeah. You are.
You truly were. You truly are.
All right. Well, coach, this has been awesome.
We appreciate it. We got to have you come in studio though.
You got to come in studio. We can just break down what's going on in the NFL, you know, week to week.
We'd love to have you do that. We're, too far from where you tape Get Up some mornings.
Everyone should check out Coach's podcast with Bart Scott. Organized Chaos debuts September 12th.
I had one last question. Hockey is on.
And no matter the city, no matter the team, no matter the game, whether it's face-off or penalty shots, regular season or playoffs, win or lose, no matter what happens, no matter where it happens, New Amsterdam Vodka is there.

When you got your surgery, do you feel like that was kind of cheating?

Because it feels like your brother, like he's sticking with it and being himself.

And we talked to him when we had him on about how he would go to McDonald's

because it was right next to the Rams facility right when he got fired.

Do you feel like you cheated us a little bit?

Because, I don't know, you had a lot of power back then. Yeah, but you know what? I took it out.
So I got down. This is honest to God truth.
I got down. So I went from 350 pounds to 215.
And at that time, I'm like, dude, I don't even feel like myself. You know what I mean? I'm not,

I'm not a big dude. I, I feel weird.
So I went, took the thing out. Now I'm two 90.

I'm back to being better. And you know, it's just, but it's funny.
I feel, I feel way better.

Yeah. Like, you know, and for people literally know that are struggling with that weight loss,

that thing was a piece of cake, man. So to speak, you can't eat cake, but that was a piece of cake.
Yeah. And, you know, but I just, I'm like, forget it, man.
I, I, I rather, you know, be able to eat. Like I literally went, you know, what, like we all do, you know, eat like 16 tacos when I'm like, gosh,'m done.
You know, you can only drink a couple beers, like I'm done. But for people struggling with weight loss, they really want that.
That thing will work, man. And it worked for me great.
Did Rob give you shit? Probably saved my life, but now I rather ruin it. Yeah, did Rob give you shit about it? Did Rob give you shit about it? Yeah, like it was funny.
He was always the smaller twin. Like I always outweighed him.
So I was like, he said about college, I was like 15 pounds heavier than him. Now it's like, damn, dude.
He getting freaking huge. And, you know, I don't know.
Hopefully he'll, I always love it. Every single year, I'm going to go on this one diet.
There's like, you know, and this happens about 10 different times a year. So you'll lose about 10 and you'll gain 20 back.
Yeah. Like diets don't freaking work.
And, you know, I just think if people really need it, it ain't me or some dietician that's, you know, people's going to tell you, well, yeah, just eat a freaking carrot and some kale. What? Like, no, dude.
Go see somebody who knows what the hell they're talking about and live that way. So that would be my advice.
You know me, I'm here. I'm a dietician now, was a football coach, feel miserably at that.
Now I'm this guy. So now I think i'm gonna be a dietician all right but but wait you said earlier that you would go back and coach the jets for five million dollars would you coach like a real franchise for two million or three million oh that's too funny no dude no i would you know what's to be a head coach again, I would jump at that opportunity because you control the whole team and you talk about like the inner, the synergy of your team and the fan base.
Like you, as a head coach, you want to, you're a connector, you're a connector of, of, of a fan base of your football team, all of it. And I really enjoyed that part of it.

And I think that's a necessity.

You know, that's like the biggest part of being a head coach, in my opinion.

And if that was the case, I would jump at it.

Obviously, I would jump at it.

But apparently, they've lost my damn number or something.

But I haven't coached for five years.

Haven't lost a game for five years, by the way. There you go.
Which is pretty impressive. But to be a coordinator, I don't see it.
It would have to be – I'd have to really know the guy well, and he'd have to be a hell of a guy. But I've got nothing to prove that way, and I think the only thing I need to prove now is I could be a head coach and win a Superbowl.
That'd be the only thing that would drive me to get back in. I got such a good life right now, such a blessed life.
And, and I'm not pissing too many people off. I piss off some of the people that I criticize, but I'm just doing, I'm just talking football and telling, telling the truth and, and, uh, and just a fan of football like anybody else that's listening.
So it's a great, a great life that I have right now. Fortunate to have it.
Um, and, and my wife said, he goes, you know, if you take every day that you work at ESPN for 20 some straight weeks and put it into one week of coaching.

It's about the same.

So the hours you work.

So I think I'll just hang with what I'm doing right now.

I love it.

I love it.

Well, coach, thank you so much.

You're welcome back on anytime.

We really, really enjoyed this and best of luck with the rest of the season in the new

podcast.

I appreciate you guys.

Thanks for having me on.

Thanks so much.

Hey,

what's going on there,

pal?

We saw you at the hockey game.

Do I know you guys?

I'm Ryan Whitney.

I got a drink named after me.

Not a big deal.

Pink Whitney.

That's what I thought.

See you fellas.

I invented the thing.

You pigeon pink Whitney for legendary moments.

All right,

let's wrap up guys on chicks.

Thank you. I haven't checked it in like six months.
What? You're surprised? I'm shocked. No, no.
It's been like. Shocking.
Shut up. It's been like two months since I've checked it.
This is the season. No, it is.
He's going to get into baseball. It served its purpose.
It distracted me. I paid attention.
For like a week? Oh, wait. I have to reinstall the app.
Two weeks. All right.
We'll circle back. Yeah.
Two weeks. Why do all guys like to clean the toe jam out of their toes right when they take their socks off? My boyfriend does it and then tries to touch me and his fingers smell like absolute shit.
How do I tell him to stop nicely? Or is this just normal? I feel like he'd listen to you guys because you're all he listens to in the car and it's so frustrating. This is one of those ones we get where it's like, no, I think your boyfriend's just weird.

It's like the guy that jerked off onto the mat next to his bed.

Yeah.

What is it? The rug.

Remember that guy?

The rug?

Yeah.

Who does have toe jam?

I don't think I've ever done that.

And if I had it, I definitely wouldn't put it on somebody else's face.

Billy?

I don't know.

I got that look.

Shout out to that one guy. I told Billy this story, but when I was in Chicago this weekend, we did the watch party on Sunday for the Bears and some guy came up to me and was like, I just gotta know, what is the look that Billy gives you whenever you call on him? And you gotta listen, you gotta subscribe to the YouTube and watch on the YouTube.
Can you do the face? I just kind of look at Big Cat

and get close to the microphone.

He gets his mouth a little open.

I feel like you can actually see the light go off, too.

When you say something,

he's kind of like laid back

and then it's like...

So Billy, toe jam?

No, I mean,

the greatest foot health tip I can give

is to always pee on your feet in the shower. Yeah, that's true.
Always do that. Moises Alou did that.
And used the pressure to get the toe jam out. Look where he went.
Fucking a lot of home runs. How do you get toe jam? It's just lint in your feet.
It's lint, yeah. Yeah, I don't know.
Okay, next. Okay, update on the Seamhead Express.
Yep. Finally.
Okay, I finished 14-7 on the year, third place, won my first round matchup of the playoffs two weeks ago. So you're alive.
Won my second round. Wow.
And I'm in the finals right now. Wow.
I'm in the championship 12-team league. Way to go.
Don't change anything. I'm not.
I'm not. Don't update anything.
The Seamhead Express against Schilling's bloody sock love it in the championship game let's go fantasy baseball so fucking easy love it a lot of big purchases coming up in my life and I can't afford them all if you had to power rank what females care about the most slash I should spend the money the most slash I should spend the most money on

what would it be between house wedding and ring uh self-care self-care is number one so whichever one of those answers is self-care I don't I don't know really what self-care is but I know that it's very important to women yeah I'd say house house you have to live in the house the ring who cares The house is what you have to live in every day.

We had this conversation. house you have to live in the house the ring who cares the house is what you have to live in

every day have we had this conversation have the look have we had this conversation before but why is she buying a ring no yeah probably she's probably talking about combined finances with her fiance's future husband and like hey maybe spend less on the ring and we spend more on a house.

Oh.

House you have to live in.

But doesn't the guy by the ring?

Guy by the ring.

Right, but it's combined finances. All right, so sometimes a man and woman trust each other enough that they combine their money together, and then it's just their money is together.
So when he spends money on a ring,

that is also money out of her pocket in future endeavors because they're a unit now.

They are teammates.

It's like when one really good offensive team

plays another really good offensive team,

the total in the game is higher.

Yes.

Exactly.

Whose sets of it goes over?

What?

Vegas.

Vegas.

Yeah.

A guy in the desert.

Vegas.

Yeah, when it comes to the ring, you can always just buy a fake ring if you want to stunt on people in pictures. Yeah.
Like a crazy... They have crazy fucking fake rings.
Has anyone given anyone an NFT wedding ring? Probably. Probably Gary V.
My boyfriend has an obsession with cooking shows.

Think about your whole family and think about them dying and then shoot yourself in the

face and then get up and work 25 hours a day.

That was my Gary V.

I actually like Gary V.

Sorry.

I do.

He's crazy.

He's so fucking hot in here.

This shit is crazy, but I like him.

Guy's crazy, but I like him. Crazy like a fox.
Go ahead, Hank. My boyfriend has an obsession with cooking shows and has recently gone out of his way to shit on any food we get for takeout or at an actual restaurant.
For example, we went to a small Italian place in UWS.

Don't know what that means.

Upper West Side.

Upper West Side.

And they opened with onion soup.

He not only didn't like it, he called it bland and asked to see the chef.

After the waitress declined, we then ordered the entree only for him to say that the menu

wasn't cohesive enough.

The waitress then took the menus and our manager came out and told us to leave. My boyfriend yelled at the manager, parentheses, like they do in the shows, but then the manager picked him up off the ground and physically threw him out.
This is fake. He looked like he was crying, but he said it was just the rain.
Is it too late to fix him or should I stay and help him become normal again? This is not real, but I will say I've never had this problem. I've said this before, but I am essentially a garbage disposal when it comes to food.
There's never bad food. It's just maybe not my favorite.
It's either my favorite or maybe not my favorite. I love the term foodie that people are using because it's like I really enjoy food.
Yeah. So does everyone.
Yeah, I think we all do. But this person, it sounds like you've made eating a big part of your personality.
Yeah. That's not a good sign.
Phone eats first, right, Jake? Phone eats first. Yeah.
Big time. Do we have the idea for a restaurant that makes really shitty food that looks great so people can take a picture of it.
They don't have to eat it.

You just take a picture of your plate.

It's all the commercial foods.

I just want a restaurant that has only appetizers

from all types of places.

And you just sample little appetizers.

Appetizers, dips, soups.

That's all you need.

Do girls like it when guys drink

straight out of the milk jug?

Is this an alpha move?

Billy, go ahead. When a woman sees a man chugging out of the milk jug? Is this an alpha move? I mean, Billy, go ahead.

You see, when a woman sees a man chugging out of a gallon jug of milk.

Yeah.

Yep.

What happens?

Puts asses in seats.

Babies get made.

It's like a baby.

It's like they.

Well, yeah.

They ovulate when they see it because it reminds them of a baby drinking.

Kind of.

Billy was.

Yeah, you're like a constant baby on a nipple.

Yeah.

You are a baby. Billy's a big baby.
Chugging milk is how you a nipple. Yeah, you are a baby.

Billy's a big baby. Chugging milk is

how you get the ladies.

Fact.

I like ending with this one now. Do you guys

want to end with a graphic one?

Yeah.

Last week's was bad.

No, but go ahead.

My answer's always

going to be no. I love eating my man's

ass, but sometimes he doesn't wipe

well enough. Oh, God.
How should I

See you next time. No, but go ahead.
Okay. My answer's always going to be no.
I love eating my man's ass, but sometimes he doesn't wipe well enough. Oh, God.
How should I respectfully tell him to get white better? Dude wipes. There it is.
Find the dude wipes. Roll code take.
Yeah, that's T-A-K-E. This girl's a real one.
She is a real one. Yeah.
No, God bless you. You got a filthy mouth, but...
Wow. Literally.
Lost the dingles. Dude wipes.
Billy, recap. Nice dingle in your mouth.
Guess who's getting off the injured reserve this week? Sam Ellinger. Sam Ellinger.
Let's go, Billy! And also, Gary Vee had a quote where he said that it was better to be born with nothing than something because you'll be hungry.

There you go.

You can't teach that.

Makes a lot of sense.

You actually can teach being hungry.

Yeah.

It's pretty easy to do.

Yeah, John Taffer's good at that.

Yep.

Sea turtles lay their eggs where they were born.

Oh.

They return to the same beaches.

That's cute.

Nice.

That's very cute.

Never done that one.

Okay. 69.
Wait, the fact that you said cute. Never done that one.
Okay. Wait, the

fact that you said I've never done that one

leads me to believe that you definitely does.

We're getting deep in the

pocket of the interest.

So you have done it before? No, I've never done that one before.

How are we deep in the pocket?

There are so many animals.

Well, we're pretty deep. I had to bring

out a basic one. Buy an animal fact

book. I have several.
You're saying there's

more take on me's in the world than

animal facts. Well, you can remix them

and I'm going to bring out a basic one. Buy an animal fact book.
I have several. You're saying there's more take on me's in the world than animal facts.

Well, you can remix them, and

you can't just create new facts. You do all

the time. What? Facts are fine.

90% of what you do. Okay, I'll start

giving fake ones. Okay.
Oh, you'll

start giving fake ones? I don't think I've

given a single fake one. Oh, my God.

Alright, 8. 97.

You can't do that. Elephants see people the way people see dogs.
I've never done one that I haven't corrected. This is 97.
1 in 65, out of play. 1 in 65, out of play.
13. Unlucky 13.
13

Unlucky 13

13's been popping off lately

Billy was born on Friday the 13th

I'm gonna have a good week

Are you?

13's my lucky number

Love you guys

Love you guys

It's your lucky number?

Yeah

Love you guys

It's unlucky

Where other people see unlucky

I see lucky

Unlucky though

Love you guys. Where other people see unlucky, I see lucky.
I'm lucky, though. Love you guys.
We're talking away So I don't know what I'm to say I say it in a way Today's a matter day to find you shying away I'll be coming for your love of grace Take on me Take take me on. I'll be gone when I turn on to.
Needless to say, I'm all to say, yeah. But I need still a little bit.
Turn and turn if your life is okay Take me. Take me young.

I'll be gone.

When I turn on me.