Rex Ryan, MNF, College Football Round Up & Guys On Chicks

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Speaker 1 On today's part of my take, we have Rex Ryan on the show talking football, talking his career, talking burying footballs, talking his wife's feet, everything. Rex Ryan on the show.
Great interview.

Speaker 1 We also have some Monday night football cleanup. We're going to talk some college football because it is Wednesday.
We have Hot Seat Cool Throne. We have Guys on Chicks, a great Wednesday show.

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Speaker 1 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 No place behind a lot of washing.

Speaker 1 And then I can't blame all of the sounds. Oh, no, we're gonna rock it down to Elite Track Avenue.

Speaker 1 And then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna rock it down to Elite Track Avenue.

Speaker 2 And then we'll take it higher. It's part of my take presented by Boston Sports.

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Today is Wednesday,

Speaker 1 September 29th, and I think the Cowboys might be good.

Speaker 2 The Cowboys are the best team in that division right now, for sure.

Speaker 1 I think the Cowboys might be good.

Speaker 2 They're good right now.

Speaker 1 I think the Cowboys might be good.

Speaker 2 The Cowboys are good. The only thing that they have to worry about is obviously like injuries and things like that.

Speaker 1 That's every team.

Speaker 1 I think we can say, though, without any...

Speaker 1 i'm not going to do any qualifiers i think the cowboys are good they're a good team ezeki elliott played well last night yep we got the old school ezekiel elliott tony pollard enough talk about him and we i there's something about what the cowboys are doing uh on defense that it doesn't really make sense with all their linebackers but dan quinn with his backwards hat it works they have jalen hurts on the ropes jalen hurts uh compared the game to taking a big shit and having to flush it that's how i talk watching it as well yeah

Speaker 1 Jalen Hurts, he might not be the guy.

Speaker 2 He's a fine young man, big cat. Jalen Hurts is a

Speaker 2 better than some people thought he would be as an NFL quarterback.

Speaker 1 And worse than

Speaker 2 worse than what he needs to be.

Speaker 1 I think he might be.

Speaker 1 Here's something nice about Jalen Hurts. I think he might be the best backup in the NFL for the next decade.

Speaker 2 I think Jalen Hurts might be the best backup quarterback in the history of football. Yeah, I think

Speaker 2 he's a starter. Going back to what happened when he was in college, he was a great backup.

Speaker 2 Nick Saban had like the best things in the world to say. I've never heard Nick Saban compliment one of his own players as much as he complimented Jalen Hurts' ability to be a great backup quarterback.

Speaker 1 Great teammate.

Speaker 2 Great teammate. So yeah, keep him around, but he had that one.
It was the head scratcher. Yeah.
Head scratcher interception.

Speaker 1 Well, and he also said the underthrow.

Speaker 1 The head scratcher guy fell down, but it still was not a good pass. And then the underthrow, deep underthrow, where, listen, I'm not going to rag on Jalen Hurts, but you squat 600 pounds.

Speaker 1 You shouldn't be throwing anyone. Yep.
Like, you should have enough power in those legs to throw it the appropriate length.

Speaker 1 I, I just, and, and listen, Nick Siriani, three games in, when you lose and you have the highlighter in your visor, you start to look stupid.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I don't know what he was doing with that thing.

Speaker 2 I think Nick Siriani was like, I need a thing as a coach to be identified as because he looks like an extra in the Sopranos. Yeah.

Speaker 2 He's very like nondescript, kind of like, he looks like a chef or a a cook at a really dirty deli. Yes.
And so he needs a thing.

Speaker 2 And I think he looked himself in the mirror and was like, my thing, I'm going to be the highlighter guy. And you have to win if you're going to be the highlighter guy.

Speaker 1 And you also have to win if you're going to be the rah-rah guy because he was wearing like a beat Dallas shirt all week and talking about how important the rivalry was.

Speaker 1 And listen, I'm not taking, Dallas is the story, I think, coming away from Monday Night Football because I think the Eagles, shout out, did you see Colin Coward? He said, I was wrong about,

Speaker 1 I said the Eagles were going to be bad, and I was wrong. I thought I was wrong, but I actually was right.

Speaker 2 That's the old Skip Bayless with the Clippers. Right.

Speaker 1 The reverse, like, actually, credit to me for being right all along, even though I went back on it. I respect it.
And just keep flip-flopping until I land on the right take. Yep.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I did think the Eagles were going to be a frisky team. I'm not saying they're not.
They still can be a frisky team.

Speaker 1 But to me, that was like, I can't remember the last time the Cowboys won a big big Monday night football game after winning a big game against the Chargers the week before, and it feels like they took two steps forward, not one step forward, two steps back, like they often do.

Speaker 2 They look legit, but yeah, Sirian, his play calling was kind of weird. I think Miles Sanders had, what, like two carries?

Speaker 1 9% of his play calls were designed runs. Yeah, it's really weird.
That's crazy.

Speaker 2 He needs to take the highlighter and take it off the passing column, put it on the running column. Run the damn ball.

Speaker 1 Run the damn ball.

Speaker 2 You know what? If you're an Eagles fan, this is just like a field day for you on Sports Talk Radio because the easiest thing to say ever is just like, we need to establish the run. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Run the damn ball.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I think it'd be kind of fun if the Cowboys were actually legitimately good for the first time in forever.

Speaker 2 It's probably going to happen. The NFC East doesn't have a repeat champion ever.
Everything's always exactly the opposite of what it was the previous year.

Speaker 1 It'd just be fun. It's been a long time since they've been a legitimate threat.

Speaker 1 Obviously, they've had a couple years where you're like, oh, maybe, but they have defensive woes or whatever it may be that pops up.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I don't want them to win the Super Bowl, obviously, but it would be fun if they were in the mix.

Speaker 2 What's happening right now is they just have an undeniably talented team.

Speaker 1 They're good.

Speaker 2 I don't think that they have any glaring weaknesses right now. Maybe the defense occasionally, but I don't know.

Speaker 2 It's looked pretty good recently.

Speaker 1 Trayvon Diggs is awesome.

Speaker 2 Trayvon Diggs is one of the best cover guys in the league.

Speaker 1 And his son is like, every time he makes a big play, I'm like, his son's probably doing something super cute right now.

Speaker 2 That's why I can't root against the Cowboys as much as I usually like to. It's because, one, I still don't know if that guy has contact winds yet or not.

Speaker 2 And two, because Trayvon Diggs' son is so damn cute, I can't see him disappointed.

Speaker 1 And three, when you see on the sideline the defensive line coach, you're like, oh, that guy's got an English accent. Right, exactly.
I saw him a couple times last night.

Speaker 1 I was like, oh, I know that guy.

Speaker 1 He's from England.

Speaker 2 Yep. My mojo moment of the night goes to Mike McCarthy, forgetting about the clock at the end of the first half.

Speaker 1 He looks, Mike McCarthy's problem, well, he's got a lot of problems, but his biggest problem is when he is making a mistake or when he looks, when he's not doing what he should be doing, which

Speaker 1 I think we could say that clock, like it was a very bizarre setup, like, why not call a timeout? Your offense is killing him.

Speaker 1 He just looks so confused.

Speaker 1 He just kind of stares off, and he's got, you know, he's a bigger man, and it's just, it feels like he's not able to, like, he's not, he's reading a book, but he can't read.

Speaker 2 I think he hates clocks so much because they remind him of scales. Yeah.
That's the best explanation.

Speaker 1 Any numbers.

Speaker 2 Yeah, sometimes they're circular and they've got a little needle on there. But you're right.
He was, when he was making the mistake, he was just kind of having a blank stare on his face.

Speaker 2 And then about 15 seconds into the mistake, he started to realize that he was currently fucking up. Yeah.
And then there was a moment where he was like, maybe I should call that timeout.

Speaker 2 And the ref was even like, are you going to call the timeout? And he's just like, ah, no, screw it. Don't worry about it.
And that's very relatable.

Speaker 2 Like, if you're, a lot of times, if you're making a mistake, if it's at work, if it's at home, and you're so far into it, and and then you get caught halfway making the mistake, you're just like, yeah, I meant to do this.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Oh, yeah, no, no, I was always planning on it.
Yeah. Civili football.
Yeah, exactly. That was a joke, guys.
Exactly. That was a bit.

Speaker 1 He just needs to figure out something to do with his hands or some kind of movement. A fidget spinner.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's not just him standing there blankly staring up at a clock, trying to figure out what's going on. Like, you're the head coach.
You should know what's going on.

Speaker 2 Maybe it's as simple as just having a guy next to him that just nudges him like, hey, coach you're on tv right now yeah just move move your spot yeah walk walk back and forth pace pacing would be better than when he just stands there being like oh i don't know pacing's great but i mean at least he doesn't just clap all the time like jason garrett did i think this is an improvement over just clapping silently the entire time yep but he doesn't know what to do with his hands he's like ricky bobby uh he he just keeps them out of side they swing awkwardly he should get a dog He should get an emotional support dog on the sidelines.

Speaker 2 A beagle. Yeah, a beagle and just like hold him on the leash.
Yeah. And that would look better.

Speaker 1 Throw some treats into the beagle's mouth. We're going to say, Hank.
I tweeted this last night, but I think it is time we revisit the discussion of the Philadelphia Beagles. The Eagles can't run.

Speaker 1 The Bears can't throw. They're both bad.
I think we need to combine the teams again. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't think that team, even that team.

Speaker 2 No, that's not a good idea.

Speaker 1 It depends what division.

Speaker 2 I was thinking about that.

Speaker 1 Like, if they're playing in the Big Ten, they could probably win the title.

Speaker 2 Maybe. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Maybe. Yeah.
And who's coach?

Speaker 1 Jesus Christ. I think.
I don't. I honestly don't.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Mike Dikka.

Speaker 1 Like Nick Siriani on Matt Nagy's shoulders.

Speaker 2 In a trench coat? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, we're a real coach. I think no.
I swear we are, guys. Let us into this movie.
We're an adult.

Speaker 2 I actually think no coach. Yeah.
Just have the coordinators take care of everything.

Speaker 1 Let the players do it. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 There was also LeBron. LeBron went on TV and threw his quarterback under the bus.
Did you hear that? No.

Speaker 2 So, yeah, he was talking about his high school football career, and they were showing some of the plays that he used to make in high school.

Speaker 2 And first thing that jumped out to me, LeBron, surprised, doesn't like contact, doesn't like going across the middle. There's it.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 2 he threw his high school quarterback under the bus and said something along the lines of, I could have been a lot better at football if I had a better quarterback that wasn't always leading me into getting hit across the middle.

Speaker 1 Well, that's a funny thing to say to Peyton Manning.

Speaker 2 It is, yeah. No, LeBron was like, LeBron's like, I saw three Mannings and I just spoke to the one in the middle.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, that's

Speaker 1 there's probably like Anthony Gonzalez is watching that being like, god damn it. Yeah.
Peyton's agreeing with this. Like, what the hell?

Speaker 2 But LeBron also said that he got offered tryouts for the Seahawks and the Cowboys back during the lockout.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean,

Speaker 1 he's a freak athlete. So I would love LeBron.
I would have

Speaker 1 to say, LeBron.

Speaker 1 It's so ridiculous. It's like when Russell Wilson does, like,

Speaker 1 I'm going to put on a Yankees uniform once a year. It's like LeBron was probably at some type of event.
And also, like, hey, yeah, come out and play for the team.

Speaker 1 Like, I don't think they sent him a formal offer, like, hey,

Speaker 1 come work out for the Cowboys. You know, I think it was much more of like a.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he said formal offer.

Speaker 1 You know, it would be cool if you actually did it.

Speaker 1 Because people always remember, like, Bo Jackson and Deion Sanders and guys who can play two sports are forever in like lore of being the greatest athletes of all time. So go do it.

Speaker 2 I would actually, I would love to see a professional NFL locker room check LeBron because you can't trade all those guys away. Too many of them.
Nope. Can't do it, LeBron.

Speaker 2 Pete Carroll just probably saw him reading the first page of the 9-11 Commission report and was like, hey, I'd like to talk to you further. And LeBron's like, got another tryout.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Well, let me get to page two, and then just never got back to him. That's why he didn't end up on the street.
Right, right. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. So, should we talk some college football? Should we talk some college football? Anyone? No? Yeah? Billy? You got some college football notes?

Speaker 2 I was going to put this on my hot seat, but Georgia Southern. Yeah.
A lot of stuff going on. George and Southern.
They're one and three.

Speaker 2 Their head coach just got fired, but one of their players was seen shotgunning a beer on top of a bus going to the game.

Speaker 1 He was standing on the bottom. That was going to the game? That was going to the game.
I thought that was after. Yeah, no,

Speaker 2 that's the whole thing.

Speaker 1 It looks like

Speaker 1 we just won the game celebration.

Speaker 1 No, it was going to the game.

Speaker 2 But in his defense, it would look like

Speaker 2 he was getting people rowdy, man. He was pumping the folks.

Speaker 2 But, you know, he also, he's been suspended indefinitely. He also had a false start on a fourth down.
He's a nose tackle in the fourth quarter that allowed Louisiana to sort of win the game.

Speaker 2 So kind of warranted, like, if you made that mistake and weren't shotgunning beers before the game, you can sort of see it. But the guy's also a country music star.
So. Oh, his name is Gavin Adcock.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Gavin Adcock.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so it might, you know, if his football football career is over because of this, you know, he kind of did it and maybe promoted his music. Yeah.
So, you know, go check it out.

Speaker 1 I didn't think we were going to start with Georgia Southern, but I like it, Billy. That's a ridiculous story.
Jeez.

Speaker 1 They're in my hot seat, though.

Speaker 1 I had a couple quotes, if you want me to read them, and you can tell me who said this quote.

Speaker 1 The first one is, so the team punted on fourth and two from the 34-yard line, the opponent's 34-yard line.

Speaker 1 And the coach said, I'm trying to win a game, not lose a game. And I know that sounds silly because we just lost it.
I'd do it 100 times over. Okay.

Speaker 1 It punted from the 34-yard line, the opponent's 34-yard line on fourth and two.

Speaker 2 And somebody who just lost. Yes.

Speaker 1 I'm trying to win a game, not lose a game. And I know that sounds silly because we just lost it.
I'd do it 100 times over. Herm Edwards? No.
It's not. He won.
They won against Colorado.

Speaker 1 It is Brett Bielma at Illinois. Punted on the opponents on Purdue's 34-yard line.

Speaker 1 And then the other one I have is a 48-yard field goal attempt, down seven on fourth and two with nine minutes left to play. The coach said, it's not even a question for me.

Speaker 1 Take all the analytics you want. Analytics don't matter.
Football matters. One score game with nine minutes to go.
And that's what we did. Okay.

Speaker 2 That

Speaker 2 is the coach that lost. Yes.
Shit.

Speaker 2 Hypel.

Speaker 1 No, that one is David Shaw, who actually could be, it was a little misdirection because the first one could have been David Shaw as well. Yeah, so he loves to punt.

Speaker 2 David Shaw absolutely loves punting. And

Speaker 2 he's right in theory that it is a one-score game. Yes.
But he just neglects to realize it was previously a one-score game. Dan quickly kicked a field goal.

Speaker 1 One field goal to go to one-score game from a one-score game.

Speaker 2 But then you kick another field goal, and then you're within one-score.

Speaker 1 Then you can win with a field goal.

Speaker 2 You can win with one-score game.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes. So two quotes that I just thought were incredible from this weekend's college football.
The biggest story, though, is, well, Wisconsin sucks. We talked about that on Sunday.

Speaker 1 Clemson, is Dabo going to be able to stomach a truly down year for Clemson? Because they're out. They're officially out.
They're not going to make the college football playoff.

Speaker 1 They've got big, big problems.

Speaker 1 DJ Ungale, give it to me, Jake.

Speaker 7 Uyungalole.

Speaker 1 This is going to fuck me up for the rest of his career because I'm just going to keep thinking about the game that he played for Trevor Lawrence at Notre Dame when he played like incredible and his big-ass dad standing

Speaker 1 in the seats. I'm going to think that he's awesome.
I don't think he's awesome anymore, but I still think he's awesome if that makes sense.

Speaker 1 But yeah, Clemson is

Speaker 1 Clemson's now a mere mortal for at least this year.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so I mean, they look bad. Really bad.
They look really, really bad. But they're still going to get invited to a good bowl game.
And I'm going to think that they're good.

Speaker 1 I think they're going to lose.

Speaker 2 In a bowl game?

Speaker 1 No, No, I think they're going to lose more.

Speaker 1 They're going to be

Speaker 1 sub-500?

Speaker 1 Maybe not sub-500, but they're going to lose

Speaker 1 two more games. Okay.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I think that's realistic because they look like they could be a four-loss team.

Speaker 1 Because mind you, it's not just the fact that they lost to NC State.

Speaker 1 They were only up eight with a minute left, and Georgia Tech had the ball in the one-yard line the week before.

Speaker 2 I do want to respect, put some respect on NC State's name. Yeah.
The Wolf Pack and Tuffy 3. Hell yeah.
Their new dog. Tuffy 3.
I saw a picture of it at the start of the year. This dog is a winner.

Speaker 2 I can spot a winning dog a mile away. Tuffy 3, which is kind of confusing because they're the Wolf Pack, but then they have a dog as

Speaker 1 a mascot, but that's fine.

Speaker 2 That's fine. It's a relative.
It's a close relative of the Wolf. This is a fucking winner.
Tuffy 3 has got the eye of a tiger. I know live mascots.
I've been betting on NC State Money Line every week.

Speaker 2 Bet them money line this week. Specifically.
Well, they lost to Mississippi State. Yeah, but specifically,

Speaker 2 I like Tuffy, and I'm going to continue to ride Tuffy. I think it's a little bit more than Clemson being really bad.
I think NC State is pretty good this year. Okay.

Speaker 1 I just think that Clemson's, like, it's going to be very interesting because I don't know the dynamic when you are a Clemson,

Speaker 1 when you lose your second game before October. Like, it's championship robust for them.
So what do you do now?

Speaker 2 You complain about NIL rules. Yes.
That's what's next up. But Dabby.
Dabbo right now is like, he's foaming at the mouth, getting ready to complain about players getting paid.

Speaker 1 Most teams you can,

Speaker 1 the majority of college football teams, you lose your second game before October. You're still playing the season because you never expected to be in the college football playoff.

Speaker 1 When you go to Clemson, when you get recruited by Clemson, when you play for Clemson, you expect to play in the playoff.

Speaker 1 And now that that ship has officially sailed, like, do you get up anymore for these games? I don't know. I don't know.
It's kind of a weird, uncharted territory.

Speaker 2 If you're Dabbo, the thing you have to do this week is

Speaker 2 you have to start a couple walk-ons. You have to.
You have to say, nobody's job is safe. Hey, this week, open competition for the first time.
College.

Speaker 1 Basketball. Basketball team.
Bring them out.

Speaker 1 Let them try out for positions.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Bring in all the walk-ons that you can, and then take a couple of your starters that weren't very good that were going to get benched for the second string guys to begin with, and then bench them.

Speaker 2 But obviously, keep all your really good players still starting. But you need, that's what a coach has to do in this situation.

Speaker 2 That's like the break glass in case of emergency thing in an elite team's playbook: just like, tell everybody that they're fired and they have to earn their jobs back. Yes.

Speaker 1 The other story: so, are we the good luck charm? Because Arkansas broke their nine-game losing streak to Texas AM after we had Sam Pittman on. Credit to us.
Yes, sir. They are legit.

Speaker 1 They probably will get absolutely pounded by Georgia this weekend, but that doesn't take away from their legitness.

Speaker 2 Well, so let's talk about this when it comes to the time of the game on Saturday. It's a noon kickoff.
Some people are saying that they made it a noon kickoff

Speaker 2 to stick it to Sam Pittman because it feels like 11 a.m. for them.
Yeah. But that takes away an extra three hours of tailgating that Georgia fans are going to have.
So who does that favor?

Speaker 2 The early kickoff?

Speaker 5 No, that's, yeah, you're right.

Speaker 2 I feel like it favors Sam Pittman. He seems like a morning guy.

Speaker 1 It might, although Georgia is so fucking good.

Speaker 1 I mean, Vanderbilt's very, very bad, but to beat them that bad they're actually the the game of the year I wish if game day had any sense of the moment and any humor about them they would have game day at Vanderbilt vs.

Speaker 1 UConn yes because it would be hilarious that'd be fucking that game is gonna rule I can't wait to bet that game and regret betting it two minutes into the game what are you gonna do you gonna take the over on that I don't know I I mean I think I'm gonna take UConn they've been playing frisky I think I'm gonna take the over on turnovers in that game yeah so just root for absolute chaos yeah root for just terrible terrible football.

Speaker 1 Oklahoma's broken. Spencer Rattler, Heisman, one of the Heisman, I don't know, he's like top four.

Speaker 1 He might have actually been the favorite. He was, I think.
I think he was a favorite coordinator of the season, and now they're all chanting for the five-star backup, freshman backup, Caleb Williams.

Speaker 1 So, yikes.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that was tough. Oklahoma stinks.

Speaker 2 I think they say, I think I'm putting the fraud label on Oklahoma this year.

Speaker 1 I think Texas might beat them.

Speaker 2 There we go.

Speaker 1 Texas might be back.

Speaker 1 Spencer Rattler, don't worry, dude. Even if you suck all year,

Speaker 1 you can just do the combine and do a pro day, and somehow, someway, you'll be a top-five pick.

Speaker 2 You have a cool name.

Speaker 1 Well, and also, that's just what the NFL does now is just, all right, so we go into the college football season.

Speaker 1 There's one quarterback that everyone likes, and by the time we get to April, there's six quarterbacks that everyone likes.

Speaker 2 So there's Spencer Rattler, and then there's a guy from Ole Miss. What's his name? Matt Corral.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Maddie Heisman.

Speaker 2 Maddie Heisman. Golden Corral.

Speaker 1 He's going to have... That game's going to to be so sick on Sunday, or on Saturday.
Yeah. Lane Kiffen going up against

Speaker 1 Nick Sabin in Alabama. Lane Kiffen, by the way, he just is awesome at Twitter.

Speaker 1 I don't know if you saw, he was on a recruiting trip in California and he took a picture of the airport, like welcome to Los Angeles. And he was like, well, this place isn't great.

Speaker 1 And then he also tweeted at Sebastian Janakowski because today is the 11-year anniversary of him letting Sebastian Janakowski kick like a 75-yarder.

Speaker 1 And he's like, if I could do it again, I'd do it again. Hell yeah.

Speaker 2 I mean, just seeing Sebastian line up from 75 yards out, and then the kick went like 61 yards and like went further to the left than it did long. That was a great kick.
I love Lane Giffen.

Speaker 2 This is, there's going to be a lot of rap poison this week for Lane.

Speaker 2 We're doing it right now with Maddie Heisman. Don't listen to this, Maddie.
It's poison.

Speaker 1 Brycey Heisman on the other side.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I mean, I just feel like...
Bryce Young is a TikTok name.

Speaker 1 I don't think you can win a national title.

Speaker 1 You know what? I'm going to say it. Alabama's not going to win the title this year.

Speaker 2 Bryce Young, TikTok name.

Speaker 1 That's a Sway House.

Speaker 2 Spencer Rattler, that's a parlor name. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Who else we got? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Spencer Rattler definitely

Speaker 1 stormed C-PAC. Yeah.
Because he was too far right.

Speaker 2 There's,

Speaker 2 yeah, I think Alabama, this entire season, what we're going to end up doing is we're just... rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.

Speaker 2 And Alabama is going to win in the national championship game by 70 points.

Speaker 1 But we will have new colors.

Speaker 1 We will have new colors. We will absolutely have new colors.
But this is going to be, this Saturday is like the first big Saturday where there's a lot of really, really big games with a lot at stake.

Speaker 1 Cincinnati versus Notre Dame or Kirk Herb Street. Kirk Herbstreet did reach out to me.
He's like, this is a big game for our bet. And I was like, you're right.

Speaker 2 Is this moving day or is this Separation Saturday?

Speaker 1 Or is it, yeah, Separation Saturday?

Speaker 1 It will be the day that, you know, Saturday night will be like chaos everywhere. This is like 07, even though it's not.

Speaker 2 Chaos? No, dude, it's college football.

Speaker 1 If Lane Kiffen wins in Tuscaloosa, it's going to be electric.

Speaker 2 Dude, Joey Freshwater's coming back. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 He will be. And I don't know who they play next week, but they will lose by 100.

Speaker 1 They will beat Alabama, shock the world, and it will be the biggest letdown spot in the world.

Speaker 2 Lane Kiffen's going to be drunk all week.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 2 He's not even going to be hungover yet for the next game. Yeah.
Still drunk.

Speaker 1 Anything else from college football? Anyone?

Speaker 1 Hank? Love Houston Friday night. Oh,

Speaker 1 Coach Dana, you're back. You're back with Coach Dana.
They're a dark horse for the whole thing, playoffs. For the whole damn thing? Yeah.
They lost week one. Yeah,

Speaker 1 it's a long season. Who just got like a 70 burger on him from Texas.
That's week one. That's week one.
You can make mistakes week one.

Speaker 2 They're a different team right now.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they've grown from week one. Yeah.
I like that. Friday night.
Friday night lights. Coach D.

Speaker 1 I'm dreading watching Wisconsin on Saturday, but I will get up for that game and I will pick myself up off the mat and we'll see what happens.

Speaker 1 I just want to remind people, too, like Graham Mertz, they're just kids, but they do, Wisconsin does have the best backup names in college football. So Chase Wolf and Danny Vandeboom.

Speaker 1 Great, great names. I mean, come on.
I'm just saying.

Speaker 2 What's the line? Put them in.

Speaker 1 Danny Vandeboom is a quarterback. Danny Vandenboom.

Speaker 7 Get him in. Sound like PLL players.

Speaker 1 Get him in. Danny Vandenboom.
And Chase Wolf. I mean, that's...
You just tweet the Wolf emoji over and over.

Speaker 2 Whose line is it anyway for Cincinnati, Notre Dame?

Speaker 1 I think it's probably, I think it moved a little bit. I think Cincinnati minus two and a half.

Speaker 2 I love Notre Dame.

Speaker 1 I think it's two and a half.

Speaker 2 I love him in that game.

Speaker 1 I love Cincinnati. It's the biggest game in their history of their program.
I like

Speaker 2 Drew Pine. And he reminds me a little bit of

Speaker 2 a sober Johnny Manzel.

Speaker 1 And we also have great baseball coming up this week, too. Do we want to talk about that real quick? Hank, Jake, where status status update before we get to hot seat cool thrown.

Speaker 7 We've got five teams for two spots right now.

Speaker 7 Anyone's race.

Speaker 1 I saw someone did the math and like there could be a five-way tab.

Speaker 7 Jeff Hassan tweeted it.

Speaker 1 Okay. What happened to his eye, by the way?

Speaker 7 He said he got some procedure and he changes zoom in and he patches a hula hand. Pretty funny.

Speaker 2 Damn, that's funny. That is funny.
That's baseball guy funny.

Speaker 1 Because that's, yeah, that's very funny.

Speaker 2 That's like, yeah, that's like Trey Wingo after he smokes a joint funny. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You can dodge a wrench. Dodge right.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I mean, there's...

Speaker 1 Best case scenario is Yankees-Red Sox one-game wildcard playoff. It would be worst case scenario.

Speaker 1 The Red Sox don't win another game

Speaker 1 and don't even make the playoffs, which is where it feels like it's going right now. So it'd be Tuesday night.

Speaker 1 I'll just say it right now: if it's Yankees, Red Sox Tuesday night,

Speaker 1 I'll intro the show, and then it just has to be you and Jake talking to each other for the first, like, you know, couple minutes. Are you going to pinstripe Dan on me? No,

Speaker 1 I want to see you guys. Pinstripe Dan doesn't get into one-game playoff games.
No? No. Pinstripe Dan cares about Ring 28.
So he doesn't.

Speaker 1 The Yankees don't make the playoffs until they make the playoffs. Yeah, no, a one-game playoff.
If you're a real Yankees fan, you don't even watch the one-game playoff.

Speaker 1 That's an affront to the greatest franchise of all time. Being pretty disrespectful to Billy Seam head.
Oh, yeah, Billy loves the Yankees.

Speaker 2 We definitely need to do a live stream of Hank and Jake, though. Just the two of you in a room together watching that playoff game.

Speaker 1 I'm sure we would do the whole.

Speaker 2 All the sportsmen. No, just the two of you.
Just the two of you.

Speaker 1 Just the two of you.

Speaker 2 Hell in a cell of sports people. We wouldn't do that.

Speaker 1 No, just the two of you.

Speaker 7 Hopefully, Joe West doesn't call in the game.

Speaker 1 By the way, ah, no, it's my hot seat cool drone. Never mind.

Speaker 1 All right, let's do it.

Speaker 2 We should say, though, that the most important part of this Yankees hot streak that they've been on is their turtle.

Speaker 1 Yes. Yeah.
They got a Bronxy.

Speaker 2 Bronxy the turtle, who should have his pinstripes by now because I think that they are 8-0, right? With Bronxy?

Speaker 1 6-0.

Speaker 2 Bill-0. What kind of turtle is it?

Speaker 1 Red-eared slider. And how many beers?

Speaker 1 For you.

Speaker 1 I don't do fuck the turtle. Oh, you don't do turtles.
Oh, so you do do frogs.

Speaker 1 Got it. All right, no, that's a fair question.
How am I tight? Listen, yeah. No, no, that's

Speaker 1 takes the turtles out and just does the shell.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 The turtles can't get out of the shell. Yeah, they can.
Turtles can't come out of their shell.

Speaker 2 What do you mean they can?

Speaker 2 You've heard that phrase, like you coming out of your shell.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Come out. What about a snail shell

Speaker 1 doing just fine?

Speaker 2 Who's the tight enders on the Patriots now?

Speaker 1 Hunter Henry. Hunter Hunter Henry? No, I think it's true.
Johnny Smith Smith.

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 Never mind. He tried, you Miami player, he tried to take a turtle out of the shell.

Speaker 1 Oh, there's no

Speaker 1 rip that turtle in half.

Speaker 2 And his buddy. Yeah, really fucked up.

Speaker 1 And what was his name? Fundamental? Aguayo Brothers.

Speaker 5 No, but there's a tight end there, too.

Speaker 2 Who's the one who saved the turtle?

Speaker 1 What was that track? What was his name? It was something really sad that they like, yeah, it was like a frat

Speaker 1 Roberto Aguayo's son or brother, sorry.

Speaker 2 Izzo, Izzo.

Speaker 1 Turtle.

Speaker 1 Ricky Aguayo.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and the tight end Izzo.

Speaker 1 The turtle's name was Turntle. Turntle, that's true.
Damn it, what a fucking awesome name for a frat.

Speaker 2 And so it was Aguayo and Izzo together that did it? Izzo Gronk spiked the turtle.

Speaker 1 All right. Well,

Speaker 1 yeah, fucking Ricky Aguayo. He fucking killed a turtle, dude.
His name is Turntle.

Speaker 1 Izzo's not on the Patriots.

Speaker 2 It's a great name for a turtle.

Speaker 1 He was on the Patriots.

Speaker 1 We should get a house turtle.

Speaker 2 They live way too long.

Speaker 1 Can you put him

Speaker 1 in the wire around? Yeah, it's true. He could take care of anything.

Speaker 1 Can you leave them like

Speaker 1 free around? Yeah. Now they need water.
They do?

Speaker 2 We can leave water.

Speaker 1 Nah, I don't want a turtle that needs water.

Speaker 1 Come out.

Speaker 1 All right, let's do our hot seat cool throne. And then we got Rex Ryan.
Great interview with Rex Ryan.

Speaker 2 Hey, it's PFT here, reminding you that Boarshead makes game day entertaining elevated and effortless.

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Speaker 1 Okay, Hank, hot seat cool thrown.

Speaker 1 My hot seat is the Manning Stands.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 Has Eli flipped everyone the birds? No, so

Speaker 1 I was actually, as I was writing this out, I had a little stay woke moment at the end of the broadcast. By the way, they did.

Speaker 1 I had first touchdown score of CeeDee Lamb plus 1100.

Speaker 2 Oh, at the one?

Speaker 1 At the one, dropped it. I literally was like paralyzed in just anger.

Speaker 1 Goes to commercial, comes back, and it comes back to them being like, Peyton Manning, or Eli Manning, congratulations on your number ceremony.

Speaker 1 Here's Bill Belichick and Tom Brady complimenting you and like showing highlights. It was it was awful.
I had to turn it off. This is why you

Speaker 1 this is why last week you said you don't watch it. Well, I know what happened.
That's so that I turned it back on. I was in extreme pain, and then they did this little montage.

Speaker 1 I had to change the channel until Chris Long came on. Shout out to Chris Long.
He was awesome.

Speaker 1 He was awesome. And then at the end of it, they said that they're going off till week seven.

Speaker 1 But before that, Eli flipped the cameras off. So as I was typing this out, I was like, maybe the FCC came in and was like,

Speaker 2 you think they got kicked off there?

Speaker 2 No, I think they weren't even supposed to be on this week. And they said that they'd do another week in a row.

Speaker 1 I think they have 10 weeks is the contract.

Speaker 2 They're coming back week seven.

Speaker 1 I don't know what started. They should not have started week one with it.
Yeah, and I also don't know what the sports media is going to tweet about now that the Manning cast is not.

Speaker 1 That's why my hot seater Manning stands. Yeah.
Manning cast stands. Yeah, it's like half of sports media doesn't even watch the game.
They just tweet about the Manning cast. Right.

Speaker 2 It was pretty great when Eli flipped the camera off.

Speaker 1 Oh, it was awesome.

Speaker 2 Because Eli, he forgot how live television works. And he's just like, hey, you guys can blur this out, right?

Speaker 1 And Payton was like, do it, do it, do it. Even though he probably knew he shouldn't have done it.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 No, it was great. I feel like the Mannings are above the low when it comes to the FCC right now.
Yes. Archie Manning definitely controls it.
Also, I think I saw Archie Manning's balls last night.

Speaker 2 Really? He was on the couch and he was wearing the shortest shorts.

Speaker 5 Good balls.

Speaker 2 Really, great balls, actually. Like those balls.

Speaker 1 Two Hall of Fame balls.

Speaker 2 Four Super Bowls came out of those nuts.

Speaker 1 And Cooper. And Cooper are the funny, yeah, and the funniest person in America.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 But yeah, he was sitting on the couch and he really, really sank into the couch. And there wasn't a lot of fabric in between those thighs.
Love it.

Speaker 1 Nikki Minaj status.

Speaker 2 Nicki Minaj. Yeah, Archie Manning is Nicki Minaj's cousin's friend.
He spent some time in Trinidad. Also, I'm going war mode on Peyton Manning.

Speaker 1 Whatever.

Speaker 2 What does that mean? I'm just going war. I think I'm in a rivalry with him.

Speaker 1 Got it.

Speaker 2 I think he doesn't like me. I think I'm living rent-free inside of his considerable head.
Okay. He asked me to come on the show.
I'm not doing it.

Speaker 1 Oh, there you go. Not doing it.
Boom.

Speaker 2 I'm putting my nuts on Peyton Manning's forehead. Love it.

Speaker 1 Change of pace. There you go.
That probably will seal it right there, that joke.

Speaker 1 My cool throne is the Mets. Yeah.
So the Mets, by no stretch of the imagination, were a complete dumpster fire this year. They have been in the past years.

Speaker 1 But they have a new owner, Stephen Cohen, and he came out and said he wants to raise the team's profile to a young, diverse audience,

Speaker 1 developing feature live comedy, new design, and special events. So if you're worried about the Mets.
What?

Speaker 1 If you're worried about the Mets, don't have to worry about it because they're focusing now on live comedy, new design, and special events. Do you know what? So, like, what, you know,

Speaker 1 problem solved.

Speaker 1 I love whenever an owner's like, we want to make the game experience 365 and fully immersive and you come to the park and it's an entire experience just got to just gotta win all they gotta do is play good base especially people beat fun especially people have fun you also have to have just like a tiny bit of self-awareness if you're Steve Cohen you can't say the first thing can't be live comedy right you can't be like hey instead of what at the baseball game as a nice change of pace we're also going to have a circus on the field.

Speaker 2 Like you're, it's such low-hanging fruit for everybody that has a Twitter account or just anybody that's a fan of the team to get pissed off about.

Speaker 1 You know, it's live comedy, the Mets with runners and scoring position.

Speaker 2 Exactly. There you go.
Boom.

Speaker 1 Got it. There you go, Stevie Cohen.
My other cool throne is... I have two.
No big deal. My other cool throne is Lucky Larry 7.
Yes. Our gambling goldfish, the Billy Fish.

Speaker 2 A sweet prince.

Speaker 1 He is 1-1 on picks this year. People have been clamoring, asking when we're coming out with t-shirts.
Ooh,

Speaker 1 their fire, their tie-dye.

Speaker 1 And for the people in the states where the Barcelon Sportsbook is live, we have an exclusive sweatshirt billy's holding up right now lucky larry seven this is so the t-shirts are going to be on sale you can buy the t-shirts anyone can buy the t-shirts anywhere that you can buy a t-shirt uh the sweatshirts we have a promo on thursday larry made a pick it was the bengals and if the bangles cover the spread everyone if and you bet fifty dollars more you get a free sweatshirt wow hank i want to fact check you real quick you said that you can get the shirts anywhere that you can buy a t-shirt is that true well so i don't know some countries and shit like we have you know listeners from all over that we like

Speaker 1 If you go

Speaker 1 listeners from like India that are

Speaker 2 in the India there.

Speaker 1 Yeah, if I go, if I like walk into Kohl's, yes, and you're and you're on your do they have Wi-Fi? Yeah, then yes, yes, you're right. That's good.

Speaker 2 You can buy it anywhere at every store in America.

Speaker 1 Trumped. Yep.
Yep. All right, PFT, your hot seat, cool throne.

Speaker 2 My hot seat is clocks. Clocks are on the hot seat.

Speaker 2 Is this the weekend that we set our clocks?

Speaker 1 Yes, no, this is. The first weekend of October is always the go-ahead.

Speaker 2 Daylight savings time, fallback.

Speaker 1 Fall back. Springford, fall back.
Fall back. Everything I went through this summer with time zones, you guys are doing this fucked up.
No. And incentivising.
The first weekend of October.

Speaker 1 Actually, Saturday of October.

Speaker 2 Wait, wait, but this is a good one, right?

Speaker 1 Yes, you get one, we get the hour,

Speaker 1 but it also gets darker earlier, which sucks.

Speaker 2 But yeah, that just occurred to me. But the real reason clocks are on the hot seat is because there's some controversy in the NFL given how the Red Zone is now presenting their on-screen graphics.

Speaker 1 Yes,

Speaker 2 so Fox, they moved their entire score bug down a little bit, about like, I don't know, 10, 20 pixels. And so now it's covered up.

Speaker 2 The clock part of the scoreboard is covered up by the NFL Red Zone bottom line.

Speaker 2 So when you're watching the game on the red zone, you can see what the score is, but you can't see how much time is left in the game.

Speaker 2 People are saying that Fox is doing this intentionally so that they can get the ratings.

Speaker 2 NFL Network is saying, well, no, like we need, we're just going to display what they have on the screen, but they need to move the scoreboard up.

Speaker 2 So eventually, Red Zone ended up putting their own score bug on the screen over top of Fox's so that you could see

Speaker 2 it's a score bug war. And so they're going back and forth.

Speaker 2 Now it gets really interesting when you think about the fact that NFL players get paid in terms of what the CBA is, their percentage of revenue, is based on TV rights.

Speaker 2 So the more people that are watching on Fox, the more money the players are going to make in the future, the less money the owners will.

Speaker 2 The more people are watching on the NFL network, which is run by the league, which is controlled by the owners. Cicilliano.
Ciciliano, that means that the owners are going to get more money.

Speaker 2 So it's a scoreboard fight that has long-lasting implications and ramifications.

Speaker 2 I love it too. I hope that it keeps going on.

Speaker 2 I love these intermediate company. I love how some people are

Speaker 2 become Fox

Speaker 2 supporters.

Speaker 2 I'm a fan of Fox Sports over the NFL network, or I'm a fan of the NFL network's on-screen presentation over Fox. The only thing I can say is, fuck Bally Sports.

Speaker 2 They have the worst by far.

Speaker 1 They do.

Speaker 1 I do not like their presentation. Isn't the red zone going to be up for grabs in a couple of years? I believe so, yes.
Yes, DirecTV is going to lose it, I think.

Speaker 1 They put everything on Amazon.

Speaker 2 Yeah, Amazon or the NFL is hoping that Apple makes an offer. Yeah.
Yeah. Join the club.

Speaker 1 Wouldn't it be on delay? I don't know.

Speaker 1 These type of things stress me out so much that I don't want to think about them.

Speaker 1 Like, CBS going to ESPN and losing the song stresses me out so much i cannot think about the sec song yeah i cannot think about it i do not want to think about it it bums me out i just there are there are you know when they're like there are bigger things to worry about in life these are the bigger things for me and i don't want to think about them it's going to be so weird watching like a florida georgia game and you don't have first of all we've already been through enough not having vern lundquist greet us for that game i know now you're taking away the theme song i know i don't know why they can't just piece piece together, like,

Speaker 1 I was actually thinking about this for like Keith Jackson, all-time Hall of Fame voice. Obviously, passed away a while ago, I think.
Why can't they just

Speaker 1 piece his voice together like they do video games? Yeah. And just let us watch a Keith Jackson stream.

Speaker 2 They can.

Speaker 1 So do it.

Speaker 2 Do what you did with John.

Speaker 1 I want to watch Keith Jackson today.

Speaker 2 Do what you did with Mrs. Soprano and just give us a CGI Keith Jackson.

Speaker 1 She died in real life.

Speaker 2 She died in real life, yeah.

Speaker 1 And then died on the show.

Speaker 2 Yep.

Speaker 2 She was back for that one episode where she was like a weird Chuck E. Cheese animatronic.
Yeah. It was real strange.

Speaker 2 My Cool Throne is going to be my

Speaker 1 Whoops. It's only seasonal.
You guys just wait. It's seasonal.
Oh, what? Uh-oh.

Speaker 2 That sounds like a threat, Henry.

Speaker 1 That was a threat.

Speaker 1 Are you threatening us? I'm not. What was the threat?

Speaker 2 He's going to watch Mini Saints in New York

Speaker 2 down. He's going to spoil it for us.
We have to watch it right when it comes up, Big Cat.

Speaker 1 We got to get Jeff D. Lowe to give us a streamer.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we'll watch it before you. Is that what it's called?

Speaker 1 A streamer?

Speaker 2 No. Screener.

Speaker 1 Whatever. I was close.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Fucking data too. Shut up.

Speaker 2 Kelly, if you're listening to this show right now,

Speaker 2 please book us somebody from Many States and Newark so that we can get the streamer.

Speaker 1 The streamer.

Speaker 2 The streamer to watch, and then we can spoil it for Hank.

Speaker 2 My Cool Throne's my pupils. My pupils are on the Cool Throne.

Speaker 2 We did a sub-a-thon last week when we watched Thursday Night Football. Mills Mafia didn't really show out too much, but Billy was eating an inch of sub for every point that was scored.

Speaker 2 And if we got up to 300,000 subscribers, I was going to lose the shades. We got up to like 296, something like that, during the stream.

Speaker 2 So they didn't come off. We're doing it again this Thursday.

Speaker 2 We've got the lucky Larry Bett in the Barcelon Sportsbook, and we're going to do it a little bit differently where Billy's going to eat a hot dog for every score. So a touchdown, that's a hot dog.

Speaker 2 An extra point, that's a hot dog.

Speaker 1 That's a hot dog.

Speaker 2 Yes, Billy already agreed to it. And then.

Speaker 1 What about safety, PFT?

Speaker 2 Safety counts as a hot dog. I think it counts as two.

Speaker 1 That's a hot dog. That's two hot dogs.
No, no. It's so hard to get safety.

Speaker 2 Two-point conversion, I'll do three hot dogs for the touchdown and the two-point conversion.

Speaker 1 Okay, great. That was so stupid of you.
Okay. It's way more likely a two-point conversion than a safety.

Speaker 2 But a safety is just two.

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 2 you'll just eat two hot dogs for a safety.

Speaker 1 Yeah, agreed.

Speaker 2 So we're going to be doing that. And then I think the way we're going to do this one, correct me if I'm misstating this, we're going to pick a number.
I think it's going to be like 300.

Speaker 2 It's going to be 5,000 over how many subscribers we have going into that night.

Speaker 2 And then after 5,000 new subscribers hit, we're going to draw a ball from the lotto machine, and we're going to try to stick exactly on that number. So let's say it's 3,500 people

Speaker 2 for 30 seconds. For 30 seconds.

Speaker 1 If it happens, you show your

Speaker 1 305,000.

Speaker 1 Let's say the theoretical number is 305,000.

Speaker 1 Do a lottery machine ball, and if it's 52, then the number becomes 305,052. Right.
And we're going to try to hold it. Hold them together.
We're going to have to band together.

Speaker 1 To hold it at that number for 30 seconds, then boom, the glasses come off. So it's up to you.
It's really up to you. You're listening at home.

Speaker 2 I think they can do it. I think they can do it.
I don't think they're going to fuck with us this time.

Speaker 1 I don't think they can do it. I think they can do it.

Speaker 2 Do you want to make it within one?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 We talked about this before.

Speaker 1 We talked about all of this.

Speaker 5 Okay, we were still negotiating the hot dogs.

Speaker 2 No, you just keep adding hot dogs to how much you have to eat. So field goals three.

Speaker 1 Yes, you have to eat.

Speaker 1 Three hot dogs per field goal.

Speaker 1 But a a touchdown is only one. Yes.
You have the extra points one.

Speaker 2 And then so is two-point conversion. You said three for a two-point conversion.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And two for a safety.

Speaker 2 No, it's one for a safety.

Speaker 1 Okay, fine, one for a safety deal.

Speaker 2 I'll meet you afterwards. He just negotiated himself and eating so many more.
So many mixtures.

Speaker 1 There's so many. So many more.

Speaker 1 It's insane.

Speaker 1 How's the joke on us?

Speaker 2 Because you're paying for the hot dogs.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Got us.
Oh, speaking of which, how many days were there in September?

Speaker 7 30.

Speaker 1 All right, so

Speaker 1 Friday, I want to see your milk milk budget. Perfect.
All right, perfect.

Speaker 1 What do you think we're at?

Speaker 2 We're over 100.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I look forward to paying for my boy's milk. Thank you.

Speaker 1 All right. So, yeah, tune in Thursday night.
Jags, Bengals, we'll do a stream.

Speaker 1 We'll set it up. Billy will eat hot dogs.
PFT is going to show his eyes. It's going to be electric.

Speaker 1 All right, my hot seat is baseball, fans, because Joe West is retiring. I feel like he's getting bullied by this, and I'm hoping that maybe it's a little

Speaker 1 he's going to basically when like you know when you go to a concert and it maybe it's not a great concert and the encore and like people clap, but it's not like that loud of a clap, but they still come out for the encore because that's just customary.

Speaker 1 I'm hoping that he is saying he's going to retire. No one's going to be like, no, please, Joe West, don't retire.
And then he's like, I've heard the people. One more year.
I'll come back. Yeah.

Speaker 2 He would do something like that.

Speaker 1 Like, why the fuck are we having a Coach K retirement year and not a Joe West? Joe West is. Joe West is what we need.

Speaker 2 He's an all-time great. Joe West is baseball.
And if you don't like Joe West, you got to dump in your pants.

Speaker 1 Coach K owns a disgusting amount of real estate. I don't care.

Speaker 1 No, yes. Yes.
And I don't care.

Speaker 2 I don't think about Coach K at all. I think about him all the time.
I don't think about him ever.

Speaker 1 I think about him every day.

Speaker 2 Until Big Cat brings him up.

Speaker 1 Then I start thinking about him. But Joe West would have been hilarious if they went.
Every single town had to give him a fucking present.

Speaker 2 Yeah, everybody just gives him a cane, a

Speaker 1 cane.

Speaker 7 We're going to have one major moment in the postseason with him.

Speaker 2 We need to have Joe West umpiring behind home plate every game of the World Series this year. All seven?

Speaker 1 Yes. Yes.

Speaker 2 You have to honor Joe West and acknowledge the lifetime of service that he gave you.

Speaker 7 I think the way they do it in the playoffs is it's the crew. So he'll be.
He can make a call, a crazy call, every game of the series.

Speaker 2 They rotate the bases.

Speaker 6 Beautiful.

Speaker 1 I need more Joe West. And then my cool throne is the collective internet because sometimes the internet just gets in on a joke and does something and it just makes me smile.

Speaker 1 Matt Nagy's press conference on Monday. If you've ever watched anything on Periscope, they do like crowdsource moderation where you get to vote if something looks okay or if it's abuse.

Speaker 1 And people were like, fuck this guy. One guy was like, I want to kill myself watching the bears and everything was getting through.
Everyone was like, looks okay, looks okay, not abuse.

Speaker 1 And it was fucking awesome. I mean, Matt Nagy is just absolutely 100% fucking with everybody.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Like, yeah, I might start Nick Foles.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's fucking with everyone, but I just really appreciated that gave me a smile.

Speaker 1 It's hard to get a smile when thinking about the Bears right now, but the one guy just being like, this guy makes me want to kill myself, and everyone voted looks okay.

Speaker 2 That's fine.

Speaker 1 Was awesome.

Speaker 2 Can I give you a little bit more good news? Yeah. There's a rumor out there

Speaker 2 that if they lose to the Lions,

Speaker 2 Matt Nagy's going to be fired. Beautiful.

Speaker 1 Beautiful. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I want it. So we are all Lions fans this weekend.
I want it.

Speaker 1 I want him. I want him out.
I want him out. And then I don't know what to do because that's part of being a fan is that you chase the guy out of town and then you're like, well, I don't know.

Speaker 1 Someone else figured it out.

Speaker 2 Yeah, who's going to be the interim head coach in that case?

Speaker 1 Someone else do it. Yeah.
I don't know.

Speaker 2 You should get Rex Ryan.

Speaker 1 That would be great. Great interview coming up.
Jake, your hot seat cool thrown.

Speaker 7 And Hot Seat is making excuses. So you look at Josh Norman on the injury report.
He's dealing with two bruised lungs along with tissue damage, which may have caused him internal bleeding.

Speaker 7 But Rap Sheet says he's in good spirits and hopes to play next week. Oh.

Speaker 1 So you can't really make excuses looking at that.

Speaker 2 Imagine being in the hospital with internal bleeding, bruised lungs. And bruised lungs, and you're like worried about the game plan this weekend.
Hopes to play.

Speaker 2 I would milk that so hard if I had like two bruised lungs and internal bleeding in the hospital.

Speaker 1 I would die if I had a bruised lung.

Speaker 7 Yeah. And my Cool Thrones, the Chiefs, they have a new weapon.
His name is Josh Gordon.

Speaker 2 Yeah, speaking of bruised lungs, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 PFT

Speaker 7 for the bank for your basic tweets. Just another weapon from Mahomes.

Speaker 7 That's unfair.

Speaker 2 Something like that. That's unfair.
So on Sunday nights, I do basic NFL tweets, and my secret weapon is Jake sitting next to me. And Jake just says out loud the things that he would like to tweet.

Speaker 2 And he's such a big J. He sounds like he's...
The language Jake speaks is not English. It's not Spanish.
It's not Italian. It's beat writer.

Speaker 1 You talk beat writer.

Speaker 2 And so I just transcribe the things that you say out loud sometimes. That's perfect.
I like that. But it is...
It seems unfair at this point. Now, we don't know how Josh Gordon's going to play

Speaker 1 on paper. Or

Speaker 2 play at all. Or play.

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 1 I'm going to wait to complain about this one. And also, it's like eight years since he's had a good time.
Yeah, I'm going to

Speaker 1 go. This is unfair.
The super team, like, let's just

Speaker 1 give it a few weeks. Okay, guys.
Touchdowns on the Patriots. Yeah.
Yeah, let's give it a few weeks.

Speaker 1 Billy, your hot seat, cool throwing.

Speaker 2 Georgia Southern was on my hot seat, but also on the hot seat is Brian Landry. The dog.
Laundry. Laundry.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Dog

Speaker 2 claims to have found him.

Speaker 1 Duh.

Speaker 2 He says he's located the area he's in. Duh.
He says that.

Speaker 1 this was the most obvious thing ever. Like,

Speaker 1 listen, I don't want to piss off the FBI, but the dog is he's better at manhunting than the FBI.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's like dog the bounty hunter number one and then the Hogville message board number two when it comes to locating people that are traveling.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 2 In my cool throne, is Nick Sabin trying to recruit Archie Manning? Arch Arch Manning on the broadcast line. Maybe he's trying to recruit Archie Manning to get his balls.

Speaker 2 Just make an unlimited amount of mannings.

Speaker 1 Yes, stud them out.

Speaker 2 Those balls are probably like. Yeah.
How much do you think they go for in the black market? Just one of them.

Speaker 1 A lot.

Speaker 1 Probably a couple million dollars. Get his ass out.
Put him on a Kentucky farm. Let him fuck.

Speaker 2 It was funny, though,

Speaker 2 when they were talking to him, and Nick Saban was like, you know, I've just always wanted the opportunity to coach a Manning and talking about how he really wishes he could have coached one of them.

Speaker 2 But he was just absolutely and he kept talking about how great his quarterbacks have been doing recently. Saban wants arch.
He can feel it in his bones.

Speaker 1 100%.

Speaker 6 All right.

Speaker 2 Good job, Billy.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right, let's get to our interview. We got our interview with Rex Ryan before we do that.
PFT, you got a quick word?

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Speaker 2 Now here is Rex Ryan.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. It is former head coach Rex Ryan.
Now on, you can see him on ESPN. You can also hear him on his new podcast.
It drops every Monday.

Speaker 1 It's called Organize Chaos with Rex Ryan and Bart Scott. So check that out.

Speaker 1 It is a podcast on ESPN. Coach, can we still call you coach? Are we allowed to still call you coach?

Speaker 6 Absolutely. It's a lot better than what people usually call me.
So absolutely, that's great.

Speaker 1 Okay, so coach,

Speaker 1 we're very excited to have you on. We've been trying to get you on for a very long time.
You had your brother on.

Speaker 1 We have questions about your entire career, but let's do this. Tell us.

Speaker 1 Because you're obviously following the league very closely, your biggest surprise of the 2021 season thus far.

Speaker 6 I guess from a bad standpoint, I'm surprised how bad Washington's defense is playing.

Speaker 6 They're 31st in the league.

Speaker 6 I mean, you know, Seattle's, we get that. They got it locked down at 32, but Washington's 31st in the league in defense.

Speaker 6 I guess that's a huge surprise because everybody talks about how great that front is and how great this defense is. And they're 30, you know, 31st.

Speaker 6 So it just goes to show this is a prove-it-dang league. And every single week, you've got to prove it.
Doesn't matter what you've done in the past, you got to prove it.

Speaker 6 I think they're the biggest disappointment to me. And as far as like a surprise, I guess you got to say Carolina.

Speaker 6 You know, I don't think we saw that coming. Certainly, most New York Jet fans never saw it coming because nobody thought Sam Darnold could complete a pass, let alone lead a team to 3-0.

Speaker 6 So I guess they're, they're from a surprise standpoint on the positive side, I guess you got to say Carolina.

Speaker 2 So I'm a Washington football team fan, grew up in Northern Virginia, and I agree with you. That defense sucks right now.

Speaker 2 And I don't know what the problem is because they returned all those key players from last year. They've got the same defensive coordinator.
So, I mean, you're a defensive.

Speaker 2 Are you a mad scientist in terms of like coming up with defenses? How would you fix this Washington defense?

Speaker 6 Yeah, well, I think I'd be a lot more creative. Like Jack Del Rio is a friend of mine.
We coached together in Baltimore

Speaker 6 back in the 2000 season when

Speaker 6 we both got a super bowl ring from that team but this isn't that team on defense and you've got to change a little things i'd like to see jack being a little more creative you know you can tell when he's going to rush five he's got he lines up in the 46 front which covers the center both guards and he's got two edge guys but you know it's coming you know you've got to do a little more things than just the one front one coverage out of it and then if he's in a four-man front it seems like all they're doing is playing uh two high safety looks So I think he'll be more creative.

Speaker 6 He needs to be more creative with it instead of just relying on that front four or front five to get there. And I think that'll help them.
They have to be more multiple than they've been.

Speaker 1 So you brought up that Baltimore team.

Speaker 1 I had a bunch of questions about them, but one of them that I was looking at the other day, that Baltimore team, one of the best defenses of all time, they actually went through a five-game stretch, and you can tell me about this, where they didn't score an offensive touchdown.

Speaker 1 Actually went two and three in those games, which is crazy. That's how good the defense was.
How much is complimentary football and like one side of the team not pulling the weight for the other?

Speaker 1 How much does that affect a locker room in a team when you go through that stretch where it's like, hey, the offense isn't scoring? We have to do even more than we're usually asked to do.

Speaker 6 I played golf today with Tony Saragusa. So he's over here.
And

Speaker 6 after this, we're going to go to my lake or whatever. But we used to talk about, I go, guys, I go turnovers and things, you know, and if we're struggling offensively, that's just more TV time for us.

Speaker 6 So when you're great, when you are like amazing,

Speaker 6 that's how you feel. Like, all right, let's go, boys.

Speaker 6 We get to get out there again.

Speaker 6 There was never, ever any finger pointing on that football team. We just said, look, you give us 10 points.
That's good enough. And here's the thing.

Speaker 6 I don't think people realize how good that defense was. It started obviously up up front with that front four we had,

Speaker 6 especially the tackles, Goose, Adams. We had a guy named Larry Webster, Lionel Dalton.
I'd roll those big old dudes in there on you, but you couldn't run the ball.

Speaker 6 So we set the, everybody knows we set the NFL record for fewest points that year, right?

Speaker 6 Fewest points given up, 165. But when you include the playoff games, we gave up less than 10 points a game on defense.
Like, that's unheard of. People give up 10 points in in one game.

Speaker 6 They're like, dang, that was a hell of a game. Yeah, we'll do it for an entire season.
That's how good this defense was.

Speaker 6 And the fact that, you know, when Trent Dilfer came in, it's like, look, just don't turn the damn thing over.

Speaker 6 If you just, you want to play complimentary football, we'll run the ball, we'll protect the football, and we'll win on defense. And that's what we did.
And the Brian Billich's credit.

Speaker 6 He never sat back and said, being an offensive guy, he's like, hell with it. I'm just going to ride my boys.
I'm going to ride that defense. And that's exactly what he did.

Speaker 6 You know, so his, he never let his ego get in the way. And you know what I thought was interesting? Didn't Bruce Arians do the same thing? He took himself out of it last year.

Speaker 6 He's like, to hell with him. You guys run the dang offense.
Yeah. And he left it to Byron, left witch, and Tom Brady.
But that took, like, people say, well, hell, he's not good. No, no.
That I give.

Speaker 6 I give that guy so much credit because, look,

Speaker 6 your freaking ego wants to say, No, I'm the greatest damn offensive coach ever because I feel the same way on defense. And he said, No, all right, you guys handle it.
Let's see what happens.

Speaker 6 They started going like this. But when we made the switch to Trent Dilfer that year, and I get it, Trent Dilfer wasn't going to break any records, but he wasn't going to get you beat either.

Speaker 6 And that's all we needed at that position.

Speaker 1 All right, so follow-up question to that.

Speaker 1 You were obviously around the 85 Bears with your dad, Buddy Ryan, all-time football guy. The conversation comes up, who's the best defense of all time.
A lot of people say 85 Bears.

Speaker 1 That's what I think. But what do you think? You were around both teams.
You're probably one of the few people who can really talk about it.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I'll say it's the 85 Bears. And the only reason I say that is they beat you before the game

Speaker 6 was ever played.

Speaker 6 People were

Speaker 6 scared to death over that team. They knew they were going to get their ass kicked.

Speaker 6 With us, people, for whatever reason, maybe it's because we didn't blitz, they just assumed that, well, you know, we might have a chance here. Here's our plan.
And then

Speaker 6 when the ball got kicked off, then that's when they realized they had no chance. But I think before the game, people knew they'd never had a chance against the Bears.

Speaker 6 Where before people thought they did, they quickly realized they didn't. But two of the greatest defenses in the history of the game.
And

Speaker 6 quite honestly, I'm super proud of that, that fact that Orion was part of it. And it's funny, but the best the best defense the ravens might have ever had might have been an 06

Speaker 6 right and nobody talks about us because we never won the whole thing huh and and that's so but if you look at a defense that led the league in more statistical categories than any defense in the history of the game it was actually the 06 ravens but it doesn't matter and and they said it before you can't ever be considered the greatest of all time unless you win it all and and that 2000 ravens defense did it, and so did that 85 Bear defense.

Speaker 2 I want to go back real quick to your childhood. Growing up, the Ryan boys, buddy Ryan's obviously your dad, you come from a football family.

Speaker 2 You growing up,

Speaker 2 who was the bigger pain in the ass to your dad? You or your brother?

Speaker 6 Well, probably my older brother, Jim, I think, was the oldest, but my twin brother was, he was right there.

Speaker 6 But dad had a great thing. He'd say this, one so great, but he goes, I'm going to hit both of you to make sure I got the right one.
So if Rob did something, I'm like,

Speaker 1 what the hell?

Speaker 6 That he'd be, you know, he hit both of us, man. But

Speaker 6 now we were double trouble, there's no doubt. Never lost a fight ever.
That's because I had my twin brother with me. Like, no, I don't care.
You could be goose.

Speaker 6 And he was going to get his ass kicked that day.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean?

Speaker 6 You're going to fight me and my twin brother.

Speaker 6 He's going to be that you're going to get his first loss. You know what I mean? But that was kind of how we grew up.

Speaker 6 You know, we kind of lived on the edge a little bit, but then we kind of saw our path and realized that,

Speaker 6 you know, we got to go,

Speaker 6 you know, we wanted to do something with our lives, be coaches of what we wanted to do. And we kind of had to cool it out.

Speaker 6 But we definite, we definitely got it out of our systems when we were younger.

Speaker 2 And who was the better football player?

Speaker 6 I think my brother was probably better than me when we were younger. But when we got older, I was a better player because I was actually bigger, bigger, stronger.

Speaker 1 Got it. So

Speaker 1 your first head coaching job at the Jets, we actually, to give you a compliment,

Speaker 1 we've said that hard knocks has never been the same since you were in it because you made it special. That was your second year, I believe.

Speaker 1 But your first year, the Jets, like we're watching them now. It's been a long time.
It's been since you've been there that they've been competitive.

Speaker 1 What, you know, your ability to change a culture, what do you attribute that to?

Speaker 6 Because that, you see it and we talk about it from a media standpoint, culture, culture culture but we really don't know what we're talking about unless you're inside the locker room so what are we actually talking about when we talk about culture well I think I was I was the right hire at the right time so when I went in there with the Jets it was always the same old Jets and remember they're going to lose Brett Favre so favre was you know you weren't going to have a hall of fame quarterback so who the hell wants that job well there was like 11 candidates but i was the right guy and the reason i was the right guy is because I was going to come in and improve a defense that was 23rd in the league.

Speaker 6 I came in and said, you know, everybody says, well, you had the best defense in the league. Yeah, well, I took it over.
It was 23rd in the league. We took it to one the very first year.

Speaker 6 So I knew I could fix that. And I took a guy, a defensive lineman named Marquise Douglas, who was a free agent, college free agent.
Nobody's heard of him.

Speaker 6 Took a guy named Bart Scott, who was a college free agent linebacker. Okay, a lot of of people have heard of him.
All right. And then a little guy, a little white safety named Jim Leonard.

Speaker 6 My favorite. Who is smart as hell on his second team already.
This is going to be his third team.

Speaker 6 And he's a free agent. None of them drafted.
I did that on purpose. I wanted to bring into my locker room.
Here's three guys that weren't even drafted,

Speaker 6 but they can play their ass off because they're smart.

Speaker 6 and they're tough. So I got them at all three levels.
That's how we changed that defense overnight.

Speaker 6 And went in there and I had three of my three guys that were on that ship with me that made it so much easier. And when I went in there, there was no finger point because we had already done it.

Speaker 6 We had already been the best defense in the league. So that's what we were trying to bring in there.
And I think that that culture on defense changed overnight.

Speaker 6 And then offensively, I was like, we're going to bully your ass. And one of the reasons was because I knew I didn't have a great quarterback.
I was going to have to play a rookie.

Speaker 6 First minicamp, guys, first minicamp.

Speaker 6 We got, you know, I'm thinking everybody's raving about Mike Tannenbaum's telling me how good this damn kid is. A guy named Ratliff.
And I'm like, all right, so

Speaker 6 Kellen Clemens and this Ratliff kid are battling out

Speaker 6 one and one A.

Speaker 6 After that first minicamp, I'm like,

Speaker 6 maybe I shouldn't have talked that much crap because I was like, these guys,

Speaker 6 there's no freaking way we're winning with these guys. There's no way.
So I'm like, we're going to have to draft somebody.

Speaker 6 So we went out looking and the Stafford was freaking unbelievable, but he was going to be the first pick. We knew we couldn't get there.
So I went for the next best thing, which I got in Mark Sanchez.

Speaker 6 But we had to trade. My brother and I actually orchestrated that trade because he was with the Cleveland Browns.
We gave up three players that I knew Mangini would overvalue.

Speaker 6 And we gave up a first and second round pick just to move up to get to six where he could get Sanchez. But it worked out perfect.
And I, you know, to get Sanchez. And look, I knew

Speaker 6 he wasn't going to be Stafford. You know, I knew that.
But he certainly was the next best thing in there. And I knew he had the tools to be decent.

Speaker 6 And he had the mentality to be decent. So we come in there and we're working.
And

Speaker 6 I was like, shoot, we better run the damn football.

Speaker 6 Here's the crazy thing. If you go, guys, go back and look at the stats.
We ran the ball that year. Like these guys, oh, how come it's so hard to win with these rookie quarterbacks?

Speaker 6 Because you're playing in the men's league. That's what these dudes do for a living.
It ain't a bunch of kids running around. They got math class next period.
Like, I'm sorry.

Speaker 6 So you're going to get, you know, that's checkers. We're playing chess in this league.
All right. And that's why it's so hard for rookie head coaches, you know, like college coaches.

Speaker 6 And it's hard to make make the transition from college to the NFL. So either way,

Speaker 6 you know, it blows me away how, well, shit, you know, you can't win. You got a rookie quarterback.
I'm like, yeah, you can if you can run the darn football and play defense. Yeah.

Speaker 6 So I'm like, we ran the ball 607 times that rookie year of Mark Sanchez, my first year as a head coach. We threw it 320 times.
Wow. So you want to protect the quarterback? Hello.

Speaker 6 Well, half the damn guys who have rookie quarterbacks, please listen. You want to protect the quarterback.
One way to do it is to run the football. All right.
That's one way to do it.

Speaker 6 And, you know, here's the other thing. How many times have we heard it's impossible to beat a Bill Belichick coach team with a rookie quarterback?

Speaker 6 It's true. Yeah.
It's true, right? Absolutely. I beat him twice with two different.

Speaker 6 I beat him with two different rookie quarterbacks. So you're right.
It's impossible, but this

Speaker 6 slapped, you know, dumb, dumb defensive coach kind of figured it out.

Speaker 2 Yeah. So you left out a pretty big part, I think, of what you did to change the culture in New York, and that's you buried a football.

Speaker 2 You took a football. When you got beat by the Patriots, I think it was at 45 to 3.

Speaker 6 We didn't get beat. We got annihilated.

Speaker 6 Here's the thing. You bring that up.

Speaker 6 Both teams are 9-2.

Speaker 6 Okay. Both teams are 9-2.
We weren't exactly a bad football team, but my God, did we play bad that day? And part of the reason is we lost our brains that day.

Speaker 6 We lost Jim Leonard on a Saturday practice.

Speaker 6 We had, and I got to pull this. So, this Robert Solis said, we had a great week of practice.

Speaker 6 Six stuff. We had a freaking great week of practice.
We really did. The best week of practice we've ever had.
We go into Gillette Stadium, wherever the hell it was in New England. We're playing them.

Speaker 6 We got destroyed, dude. Right from, I mean, right from jump.

Speaker 6 And I'm like, you know, I was that that idiot too that all i wore was that that little uh you know little sweater vest yep freezing my ass off like and you want to you want to see cold stand out there and get beat 45 to three

Speaker 6 i mean you talk about i'm like damn i couldn't wait to get that damn game over with but i'm sitting back and i watched the game on the way home and i'm like that's you can't explain it like we we played so poorly it was a horrible game plan which we thought was going to be a great game game plan.

Speaker 6 All this stuff was against us.

Speaker 6 And I'm like,

Speaker 1 man,

Speaker 6 what do I do? So I had all my team come in, and they know I'm going to just get all over their ass because we got beat, all that stuff.

Speaker 6 I'm like, meet me on the practice field. Now they know I'm pissed, right?

Speaker 6 So they're all dressed. They're ready to go.

Speaker 6 I had already dug a hole

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 6 I had the game ball and I'm

Speaker 6 this is the game ball from this. I'm going to bury this mother.
I want every one of you to go home. And in six weeks, we're going to come back and play that team.
We're going to kick their ass.

Speaker 6 That's what I told them. That's it.
And everybody went home because you couldn't, what were they going to do? Watch the tape? I mean, after that ass whooping, there was no way to do it.

Speaker 6 And so I had the polls of my team. I thought that was the right thing to do.
Okay, I'll admit. I called my old man and said, dad, you ever got your ass kicked that bad before? He goes, oh, yeah.

Speaker 6 I go, what'd you do? He goes, I buried the football.

Speaker 6 So I can take credit for it. It was my old man that told me to bury the football.

Speaker 2 Was it actually the game ball? Be honest. Or was it just one that you had?

Speaker 1 It was the real game ball.

Speaker 6 It was the actual game ball.

Speaker 2 So is it still there to this day?

Speaker 6 That's if it's still there.

Speaker 6 It's probably some collector's going to go through there.

Speaker 6 It's right here. Yeah.
I'm going to dig this bitch up, sell it on the internet for 10 grand.

Speaker 1 It works, though. We love football guys who do very literal things like this, like bearing a football.

Speaker 1 What was the other motivational tool you used that was maybe very literal that you knew could get a little extra juice out of the guys?

Speaker 6 I mean, I'd tell them the truth every time I would tell them the truth. But one that my brother would do would be like the bat game.

Speaker 6 And his, you know, the record in the bat game was like unbelievable. So he had all these baseball bats printed with that opponent on there.

Speaker 6 And

Speaker 6 Sean Payton, I guess, to this day still uses it. But you choose it.
Like, who's the team that doesn't really know you? All that type of stuff. And

Speaker 6 you kind of bring the bat and you put the logo on it and all that stuff. But there are different things.
My biggest thing was

Speaker 6 motivation for me started.

Speaker 6 you know, in training camp, mini camps and all that. I knew my players.

Speaker 6 All right. I knew every one of my players.

Speaker 6 I'd sit back, I'd talk to them in stretch lines, wherever I knew my players.

Speaker 6 And when I talked to my players, it was genuine and honest.

Speaker 6 And, you know, I'd get a little carried away, but I believe in being physical. You know, I was bullied with, like, I was bullied when I was a kid.

Speaker 6 I was, I was dyslexic, so I couldn't spell, I couldn't spell cat.

Speaker 6 you know, and

Speaker 6 you'd start reading in front of the class and and everybody make fun of me. And I was like, all right.

Speaker 6 Well, I'm going to tell you this, you know, recess is coming.

Speaker 6 So in recess was coming, it wasn't that funny when I

Speaker 6 was kicking the shit out of somebody. So to me, nobody laughed at me after recess.

Speaker 6 And to me, this was how I grew up. So you can make fun of me.
Guess what? I'm going to do I'm going to kick your ass. And that's that's how it was.
My teams were always going to be physical.

Speaker 6 They were always going to play with passion. And that's, they're going to play like their head coach.
You want to see a team play like their head coach?

Speaker 6 Look at the energy and passion the LA Rams played with, with that Sean McVay running around. People make fun of them and stuff.

Speaker 6 I'm like, damn, I remember doing that when Sean Green ran for a touchdown. I'm wondering what the hell I was doing in the end zone.
You know, but it's like the same kind of passion.

Speaker 6 Then you see some of these duds that couldn't motivate anybody on the sideline. And I'm like, no wonder their team doesn't play with any heart.

Speaker 6 You know, it's like this guy's, this guy's there for the money. I never, I was never there for the money.
I was always there for the love and the passion for the game.

Speaker 1 So who like, you know, not to name names, but like if you see a coach that doesn't have that passion, can they succeed in the NFL if they are so like, you know, maybe advanced scheme-wise, but don't have that rah-rah passion?

Speaker 6 Yeah, they were never more advanced than me scheme-wise. What even close.
All right.

Speaker 6 Because, you know,

Speaker 6 I was dyslexic, but I also had the highest score ever on problem solving and creativity. So I was way ahead of all them cats that thought they were smarter than me.

Speaker 1 You have the highest score of all time?

Speaker 6 Highest score of all time in Maryland on those things. But whatever.
I'm just a guy. But I'll say this.

Speaker 6 The thing about

Speaker 6 Like some of these guys that I watch, you know, your question was, could they be successful? You're damn right they can if you have a Hall of Fame quarterback.

Speaker 6 If you have a Hall of Fame quarterback,

Speaker 6 I don't care who the hell you are. And I watch them all the time.
You know, this kid in Green Bay,

Speaker 6 he's one of six coaches that

Speaker 6 went to back-to-back championship games in the history of the NFL his first two seasons. Okay,

Speaker 6 six of them.

Speaker 6 You're also talking to one of them also.

Speaker 6 Me and a guy named Jim Harbaugh are the only ones without a Hall of Fame quarterback. Everybody else had a Hall of Fame quarterback.

Speaker 6 So to answer your question, if you have a Hall of Fame quarterback, I don't care. You can beat Melbatoast and you can still win.

Speaker 6 This game is such a quarterback-driven league that if you have that guy, you're going to win.

Speaker 1 Okay, so then follow-up to that. Bill Belichick has had a Hall of Fame quarterback for a very long time.
What, though, did Bill Belichick do that was better than every other coach?

Speaker 1 Because I think we all agree, or you know, most people agree, best coach of all time. What is it about Bill Belichick? What would he do in game plans that were like, damn, he always has that edge?

Speaker 6 Yeah, I think his biggest edge comes from

Speaker 6 like his preparation second to none. You know, like

Speaker 6 his

Speaker 6 game management. I think his skills in game management are better than anybody's that I would ever go against.
You know, he's a great coach, X and O wise.

Speaker 6 Um, he's got his own way of motivating, you know, and it's dug in, like it's ingrained in there. So he's he's brilliant.

Speaker 6 He's he's the best I ever went against, and easily the best coach I ever went against.

Speaker 6 But I always said this to him: I said, One day I'm gonna have a freaking Tom Brady, and when I do, I'm gonna kick your ass.

Speaker 6 And he used to laugh, like, all right, Rex, whatever.

Speaker 6 But

Speaker 6 we we played him one time without Tom Brady.

Speaker 6 All right. I got to coach against him one time without Tom Brady.
And it wasn't a garbage game, the last game of the year. It was the fourth game of the season, and he was suspended for four games.

Speaker 6 And I looked, I'm like, thank God.

Speaker 6 So I'm in Buffalo. I'm like, we're going to get to playing without Tom Brady.
And I knew damn well. I said, he wasn't going to win that game.
No way in hell was he going to win.

Speaker 6 You check the score out. I think we beat him 18-0 in New England.
So,

Speaker 6 yes, he's the greatest coach ever or whatever, and I will never dispute that. But having Tom Brady makes a hell of a difference.
He's getting ready to find out this Sunday how much of a difference.

Speaker 2 Yeah. So you think Bucs are going to win big?

Speaker 6 Yeah, damn right. Yeah, I think they're going to win.
Now, winning big, I'm not so sure about. They're going to win, though.

Speaker 6 Tom Brady is... Tom Brady's ridiculous.
How much does Brady have to prove? He just won a Super Bowl.

Speaker 6 I've been saying it all the time.

Speaker 1 You know, here's the thing.

Speaker 6 As a coach, you think we know, like, I knew I could take any defense and I'd be one or two in the league.

Speaker 6 That's how I thought.

Speaker 6 That's all I never, that's all I ever knew. Okay.

Speaker 6 And then when I went to Buffalo, I'm like, I don't need to take anybody with me.

Speaker 6 This is a good defense. We'll be great.
Them dudes never bought in.

Speaker 6 You know, I challenge them mentally. They never wanted to do that.
They wanted to rush for, do what Washington does. Let's just put it on the front four, and that's it.

Speaker 6 And we're down, you know, 16th in the league in defense. So, that was the biggest mistake I ever made when I went there.
Get somebody that's that's been around you, been there, and done it.

Speaker 6 Um, and that's what I did with the Jets. But,

Speaker 6 you know, I think as a coach, though, we can make the argument you think it's about you more than it is about your players.

Speaker 6 And

Speaker 6 there's a line that my dad told me many, many years ago ago.

Speaker 6 Because when I was telling him, I can go anywhere. I'm the best there is.
And he goes, listen, son, he goes,

Speaker 6 no coach can win without players. There's some coaches can't win with them, but no coach can win without them.

Speaker 6 So that was something that you learned a hard way. And I think Belichick learned that last year.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 I want to ask you about your time in Buffalo. We love Buffalo.
We love the Bills. We love the fan base.
It's probably a very fun place to coach or or to play football.

Speaker 2 I heard rumors that you would spend a good amount of time at, was it the One Tree Inn right next to the practice facility there?

Speaker 6 Yeah,

Speaker 6 I'd go there after a win. I'd go there and sneak back in a corner.
Nobody even noticed me.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's a great place. And I heard, so we were going back looking at the history there of you with the Bills.

Speaker 2 And Billy, Billy Football, one of our guys here who works for us on the show, he reminded us about the time that you named I.K. Inham Polly.

Speaker 2 I probably probably butchered that last name, but you named him a captain for the Bills in your game against the Jets.

Speaker 2 And he's famously known as a guy that broke Geno Smith's jaw in the locker room incident.

Speaker 2 What was your thought process going into that? Were you trying to send a message to your guys or to their guys?

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 6 No, I thought he had a great week of practice.

Speaker 6 No, dude, of course. That was my subtle thing.
You want to stick a cabinet? Send Gino out there. He'll bring his jaw again.

Speaker 6 But no, that was the kind of game it was going to be. I let everybody know it.
And that was my choice of captain.

Speaker 6 And all my former players knew what they're like, damn, you knew Rex is going to do that. And I would, man.
I'd send Richie Incognito out there against Miami and all that type of stuff.

Speaker 6 But yeah, that's just kind of me. I guess I'm a little different than most.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 We talked about, you know, bearing a football after a bad game. What happened after the butt fumble game? Did you guys watch that over and over on tape? Or what did you do with that tape?

Speaker 6 Yeah, after I puked like 20 times, like that was, that was the worst, I mean, the worst quarter of football in anybody's life. Like, we,

Speaker 6 because we gave up a huge screen pass for like an 80-yard touchdown. We fumbled a kickoff, uh, returned for a touchdown.
We, we, we, you know, we have the butt fumble return for a touchdown.

Speaker 6 It was like that, it was a game. and all of a sudden we gave up like 28 points in that span.
It's like, wow, it is funny because people look like,

Speaker 6 you know, oh, the butt bumble, like I freaking called it, you know what I mean? Like, yeah, and I love it. And they look at Mark the same way, like, hey, that's the butt fumble guy.

Speaker 6 You know, but Sanchez is also the guy that won four road playoff games, including a victory over Peyton Manning and Tom Brady in their prime, not when they were done, in their prime. And so, you know,

Speaker 6 as bad as that play was,

Speaker 6 you know, I hope that,

Speaker 6 you know, that him and I both aren't defined by that play. That's part of our history.
But, you know, there's no way that fucking that's defined to me. Anybody knows

Speaker 6 we did a lot of things that

Speaker 6 were a lot better than that. But if that's the way people want to look at it, they couldn't hold a freaking jock ever in their life.
So

Speaker 2 don't think that you guys,

Speaker 2 I don't think that you or Mark is defined by that. I think that's more in the lines of just the Jets' lure.
You know, that's just like a jet play, a classic jet play that happened.

Speaker 2 And along those same lines, I have to ask you about America's heartthrob, Mike Greenberg. You get to work with him all the time.
How depressed does Greene actually get when the Jets sting?

Speaker 6 Oh, God, it's hilarious.

Speaker 6 It's absolutely hilarious. And they go, just relax.
Like, what the hell? Like, he is so passionate. Like, he goes, you got to go back and coach there.
You've got to coach.

Speaker 6 I said, fine, give me 5 million a year. I'll go back and coach him.
I said, but until that time,

Speaker 6 I'm not going back there. What do you want me to volunteer? Like, I'm not doing it.
So, but he is hilarious. Like, I've never seen a guy.
Like, it ruins, it won't ruin his day.

Speaker 6 It'll ruin his damn week. He's so freaking passionate about the Jets.
I just tell you. He's a blast to work with.
I can tell you that much. He is a blast to work with.

Speaker 1 So I had a couple, we had a couple other questions. I had one tough question for you.

Speaker 1 I was looking my Twitter search of anytime I mentioned Rex Ryan, and I found a video of you farting during a press conference in Buffalo. Can you confirm or deny?

Speaker 6 I never farted during a press conference.

Speaker 1 I watched the video. It sounded like you did.

Speaker 6 No,

Speaker 6 not that I know of. Okay.

Speaker 6 I mean, not that I know of, but, you know, I talk a lot of shit in a press conference, but I never farted, I don't think, in a press conference.

Speaker 6 Now, look, what I did do is pretend I was Walt Potolsky one time and talking to Julian Edelman. I did that in a press conference or something, but I don't remember farting in a press conference.
Okay.

Speaker 6 I remember farting. Hey, I remember farting at a team meeting one time.
You know, there was a microphone. I gave it one of these deals.

Speaker 6 Freaking loud.

Speaker 1 It ripped the whole damn thing.

Speaker 6 It shook the whole damn building.

Speaker 6 And everybody's like, what?

Speaker 6 But, you know, hey, there's certain ways to motivate. You got to get their attention.

Speaker 1 That's just guy humor.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's just guy humor.

Speaker 6 Maybe I did. I don't remember.

Speaker 1 Okay, fair.

Speaker 1 And then also,

Speaker 1 we were hoping that because you work in New York sometimes, that you would maybe be in person today because we wanted to.

Speaker 1 you know, make some foot jokes, but it's a little harder over Zoom.

Speaker 6 Yeah, No, absolutely. But now that's something I'm identified with, no question about that.
That was, that was, that was definitely it. You know, I love my wife's feet.
I don't know what to tell you.

Speaker 1 See, that was the way for me to bring it up without having to really bring it up. That's a that's an old media trick right there.
I brought it up, but I didn't bring it up because I said I was

Speaker 1 bringing it up.

Speaker 6 Yeah, you know what's funny? Like,

Speaker 6 because I was like, yeah, I just own the damn thing. They're like, no,

Speaker 6 hell no. Just say it's a personal thing.
I,

Speaker 6 whatever. Dude, I love my wife's feet.
I don't know what to say.

Speaker 2 I think that's a perfect answer to it. It's like, I think it's kind of sweet how much you like your wife's feet.

Speaker 1 That's good. Oh, I do, man.

Speaker 6 I love everything about my wife. Everything.
And she's, you know, she's gorgeous. We're going on 35 years of marriage.
And,

Speaker 6 yeah, she's, I mean, she's the greatest ever and one of the most beautiful women in the world. Obviously hasn't.
the most beautiful feet.

Speaker 6 Well, we all saw that. Yeah.
But, you know, it's just the way it is, man.

Speaker 2 Do you wish that your wife got a tattoo of her wearing a better quarterback's jersey?

Speaker 6 It's still got that bad boy right there. But it's, nah, sweet.
You know, it's funny. I never thought anything of it.
So I get this tat. I'm not thinking it had like a number eight on there.

Speaker 6 And I'm like, gosh, that's not a quarterback. Quarterback's actually six.

Speaker 6 I never thought anything of it. I had this tattoo like year one or something like that, but nobody saw it until, you know, years later, and then it became a big deal or whatever.
But

Speaker 6 hey, you know what? Some people are, you know, some people are invested in their team and others aren't.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You truly were. You truly are.

Speaker 1 All right. Well, Coach, this has been awesome.
We appreciate it. We got to have you come in studio, though.
You got to come in studio.

Speaker 1 We can just break down what's going on in the NFL, you know, week to week. We'd love to have you do that.

Speaker 1 We're not too far from where you tape get up some mornings um but everyone should check out coach's podcast with bart scott organize chaos uh debuts september 12th i had one last question what's up guys it's big cat here making my irish entrance with proper number 12 irish whiskey how do you make an irish entrance you ask it starts with a shot of proper number 12 irish whiskey because real friends don't let friends irish exit a party without a story to tell original proper number 12 is rich and a smooth smooth blend of golden grain and single malt, aged four years in bourbon barrels.

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Speaker 1 So get out there and make your Irish entrance. Anything else just wouldn't be proper.
When you got your surgery, do you feel like that was kind of cheating?

Speaker 1 Because it feels like your your brother, like he's sticking with it and being himself. And we talked to him when we had him on about how

Speaker 1 he would go to McDonald's because it was right next to the Rams facility right when he got fired. Do you feel like you cheated us a little bit? Because I don't know, you had a lot of power back then.

Speaker 6 Yeah, but you know what? I took it out. So I got down.
This is honest to God truth. I got down.
So I went from 350 pounds to 215.

Speaker 6 And at that time, I'm like, dude, I, you know,

Speaker 6 I don't even feel like myself. You know what I mean? I'm not a big dude.

Speaker 6 I feel weird. So I went and took the thing out.
Now I'm 290.

Speaker 6 So I'm like,

Speaker 6 I'm back to being better.

Speaker 6 And, you know, it's just, but it's funny. I feel, I feel way better.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 Like, you know, and for people literally, though, that are struggling with that weight loss, that thing was a piece of cake, man, so to speak. You can't eat cake, but that was a piece of cake.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 And, you know but i i just i'm like forget it man i i i rather

Speaker 6 you know be able to eat like i literally went you know what like we all do you know eat like 16 tacos but i'm like gosh now i'm done yeah you can only drink a couple beers like

Speaker 6 i'm done but for for people struggling with weight loss they really want that that that thing will work man it and it worked for me great did rob give you saved my life but now i'd rather ruin it Yeah, did Rob give you shit about it?

Speaker 1 Did Rob give you shit about it?

Speaker 6 Yeah, like it was funny. He was always the smaller twin.
Like, I always outweighed him. So, I was like, I said about college, I was like 15 pounds heavier than him.

Speaker 6 Now, it's like, damn, dude, like he's getting freaking huge. And, you know, I don't know.
Hopefully, he'll. I always love it.
I, every single year, I'm going to go on this one die.

Speaker 6 There's like, you know, and this happens about 10 different times a year.

Speaker 6 so you'll lose about 10 and you'll gain 20 back yeah like diets don't don't freaking work and you know i i just think if people really need

Speaker 6 it ain't me or or some dietitian that's you know beanbul's gonna tell you well yeah just eat a freaking carrot and some kale what like no dude go see somebody knows what the hell they're talking about and live that way so that would be my advice you know me i'm here i'm a dietitian now was a football coach, fail miserably at that.

Speaker 6 Now I'm, now I'm this guy. So now I think I'm going to be a dietitian.

Speaker 2 All right, but wait, you said earlier that you would go back and coach the Jets for $5 million. Would you coach like a real franchise for $2 million or $3 million?

Speaker 6 Oh, it's too funny. No, dude.
Now, I would, you know what's funny?

Speaker 6 To be a head coach again, I would jump at that opportunity because you control the whole team and you talk about like the inner, the synergy of your team and the fan base.

Speaker 6 Like you, as a head coach, you want to, you're a connector. You're a connector of

Speaker 6 a fan base, of your football team,

Speaker 6 all of it. And I really enjoyed that part of it.
And I think that's an assessory, you know, you know, that's a,

Speaker 6 you know, that, that's like the biggest part of being a head coach, in my opinion.

Speaker 6 And if that was the case, I would jump at it. Obviously, I would jump at it.
But apparently they've lost my damn number or something.

Speaker 6 But I haven't coached for five years, haven't lost a game for five years, by the way.

Speaker 1 There you go,

Speaker 6 which is pretty impressive. Um,

Speaker 6 but to be a coordinator, I don't, I don't see it. It would have to be,

Speaker 6 I'd have to really know the guy well, and you have to be a hell of a guy. But I've got nothing to prove that way.

Speaker 6 And I think the only thing I need to prove now is I could be a head coach and win a Super Bowl. That'd be the only thing that would drive me to get back in.

Speaker 6 I got such a good life right now, such a blessed life.

Speaker 6 And

Speaker 6 I'm not pissing too many people off. I piss off some of the people that I criticize, but I'm just doing, I'm just talking football and

Speaker 6 telling the truth. And

Speaker 6 just a fan of football like anybody else that's listening. So it's a great life that I have right now.
Fortunate to have it.

Speaker 6 And my wife said, he goes, you know, if you take every day that you work at ESPN for 20-some straight weeks

Speaker 6 and

Speaker 6 put it into one week of coaching, it's about the same. So the hours should work.
So I think I'll just hang with what I'm doing right now.

Speaker 1 I love it. I love it.
Well, Coach, thank you so much. You're welcome back on anytime.
We really, really enjoyed this. And best of luck with the rest of the season in the new podcast.

Speaker 6 I appreciate you guys. Thanks for having me on.

Speaker 1 Thanks so much. See you later, X.

Speaker 10 Lucy's the obvious choice for a true nicotine pouch connoisseurs that's why they're official nicotine pouch partner at barstool sports they go up to 12 milligrams in strength and have unique shape that feels great we all use the breakers they're the only pouches with a hydration capsule inside they're a totally new kind of pouch only available from lucy you pop it in your mouth break it with your teeth and it's instantly hydrated releasing that nicotine faster and it's a burst of flavor no other pouch has that i promise you that gas station pouches get the job done but once you've tried lucy you won't want anything else in your pocket all right let's wrap up guys on chicks

Speaker 1 hey boys I'm a big St. Louis Cardinals fan

Speaker 1 sorry mr. cat my question is for pft

Speaker 2 how is your fantasy baseball team doing oh that's a good question every question everybody's been asking how the seam head express is doing I'll be honest with you I haven't checked it in like six months.

Speaker 2 What?

Speaker 1 You're surprised?

Speaker 1 No, no, it's been shocking.

Speaker 2 Shut up. It's been like two months since I've checked it.
It's a season.

Speaker 1 No, it is. I was going to get into baseball.

Speaker 2 It served its purpose. It distracted me.
I paid attention to it. Oh, wait, I have to reinstall for two weeks.

Speaker 1 Two weeks. All right, well, sir,

Speaker 1 two weeks.

Speaker 1 Why do all guys like to clean the toe jam out of their toes right when they take their socks off? My boyfriend does it and then tries to touch me and his fingers smell like absolute shit.

Speaker 1 How do I tell him to stop nicely? Or is this just normal? I feel like he'd listen to you guys because you're all he listens to in the car and it's so frustrating.

Speaker 1 This is one of those ones we get where it's like, no, I think your boyfriend's just weird. No, yeah.

Speaker 2 It's like the guy that jerked off on the mat next to his bed.

Speaker 1 Yeah. What is the rug? Remember the rug? The rug? Yeah.
Yeah, who does have toe jam?

Speaker 2 I don't think I've ever done that. And if I had it, I definitely wouldn't put it on somebody else's face.

Speaker 1 Billy? I don't know. I got that look.
Shout out that one guy.

Speaker 1 I told Billy this story, but when I was in Chicago this weekend, we did the watch party on Sunday for the Bears, and some guy came up to me and was like, I just got to know, like, what is the look that Billy gives you whenever you call on him?

Speaker 1 And you got to listen, you got to subscribe to the YouTube and watch on the YouTube. Can you do the face? Yeah, you go like this.

Speaker 2 I just kind of look at Big Cat and get close to the face.

Speaker 1 He gets his mouth a little open.

Speaker 1 I feel like you can actually see the light go off, too. Like when you say something, he's kind of like leaning back, and then it's like, oh,

Speaker 1 so Billy, toe jam?

Speaker 2 No, I mean, the greatest foot health tip I can give is to always pee on your feet in the shower.

Speaker 1 Yep, that's true. Always.
100%. Moise Zalou did that.

Speaker 2 And used the pressure to get the toe jam out. Look where he went.

Speaker 1 Fucking a lot of home runs.

Speaker 1 You get toe jam. Toe jam is like

Speaker 1 in your feet.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't know. Okay, next.

Speaker 2 Okay, update on the Seam Head Express. Yep.

Speaker 1 Finally.

Speaker 2 Okay, I finished 14-7 on the year, third place, won my first round matchup of the playoffs two weeks ago.

Speaker 1 See alive.

Speaker 2 Won my second round.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 2 And I'm in the finals right now.

Speaker 1 Wow. I'm in the championship.
12-team league.

Speaker 1 Don't change anything. I'm not.
I'm not.

Speaker 2 Don't team how to do this against Schilling's bloody sock

Speaker 2 in the championship game. Let's go.
Fantasy baseball. So fucking easy.
Love it.

Speaker 1 A lot of big purchases coming up in my life, and I can't afford them all.

Speaker 1 If you had to power rank what females care about the most, slash I should spend the money the most, slash I should spend the most money on, what would it be? Between house, wedding, and ring?

Speaker 2 Self-care. Self-care is number one.
So, whichever one of those answers is self-care.

Speaker 2 I don't know really what self-care is, but I know that it's very important to women.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'd say house. House.
You have to live in the house. The ring, who cares? The house is what you have to live in.
Every day.

Speaker 1 Have we had this conversation?

Speaker 2 Have we had this conversation before, but why is she buying a ring?

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 probably. She's probably talking about combined finances with her fiancé's future husband.
And, like, hey, maybe spend less on the ring and we spend more on a house.

Speaker 1 House you have to live in.

Speaker 2 But doesn't the guy buy the ring?

Speaker 1 Guy buy the finances. Right, but it's combined finances.
This is a all right. So sometimes a man and a man and woman trust each other enough that they combine their money together.

Speaker 1 And then it's just their money is together.

Speaker 1 So when he spends money on a ring, that is also money out of her pocket in future endeavors because they're a unit now they are they are they are teammates it's like when one really good offensive team plays another really good offensive team the total in the game is higher yes yes

Speaker 2 exactly who's who sets if it goes over what Vegas Vegas yeah a guy in the desert Vegas yeah when it comes to the ring you can always just buy a fake ring if you want to stunt on people in pictures yeah like a crazy.

Speaker 8 They have crazy fucking fake rings.

Speaker 2 Has anyone given anyone an NFT, like wedding ring? Probably.

Speaker 1 Probably Gary Vee.

Speaker 1 My boyfriend has an obsession with cooking shows.

Speaker 1 Think about your whole family

Speaker 1 and think about them dying and then shoot yourself in the face and then get up and work 25 hours a day. That was my Gary Vee.
My boyfriend. I actually like Gary Vee.

Speaker 1 Sorry. I do.

Speaker 2 He's crazy.

Speaker 1 This shit is crazy, but I like him. Guy's crazy, but I like him.

Speaker 1 Crazy like a fox.

Speaker 1 Go ahead, Hank.

Speaker 1 My boyfriend has an obsession with cooking shows and has recently gone out of his way to shit on any food we get for takeout or at an actual restaurant.

Speaker 1 For example, we went to a small Italian place in UWS. Don't know what that means.

Speaker 2 Upper West Side.

Speaker 1 Upper West Side. And they opened with onion soup.
He not only didn't like it, he called it bland and asked to see the the chef.

Speaker 1 After the waitress declined, what? We then ordered the entree only for him to say that the menu wasn't cohesive enough.

Speaker 1 The waitress then took the menus and our manager came out and told us to leave.

Speaker 1 My boyfriend yelled at the manager, parentheses like they do in the shows, but then the manager picked him up off the ground and physically threw him out. This is fake.

Speaker 1 He looked like he was crying, but he said it was just the rain. Is it too late to fix him or should I stay and help him become normal again?

Speaker 1 This is not real, but I will say,

Speaker 1 I have never had this problem.

Speaker 1 I've said this before, but I am essentially a garbage disposal when it comes to food.

Speaker 1 There's never like bad food. It's just like maybe not my favorite.
It's either my favorite or maybe not my favorite.

Speaker 2 I love the term foodie that people are using because it's like, I really enjoy food. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So does everyone.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I think we all do.

Speaker 2 But this person, it sounds like

Speaker 2 you've made eating a big part of your personality. Yeah.

Speaker 2 That's not a good sign.

Speaker 1 Phone eats first, right, Jake?

Speaker 2 Phone eats first.

Speaker 7 Big time.

Speaker 2 Do we have the idea for a restaurant that makes really shitty food that looks great so people can take a picture of it?

Speaker 2 They don't have to eat it. You just take a picture of your food.

Speaker 1 It's all the commercial foods. Yeah, I just want a restaurant that has only appetizers from all types of places.
Yep,

Speaker 1 sample little appetizers.

Speaker 2 Appetizers, dips, soups. That's all you need.

Speaker 1 Do girls like it when guys drink straight out of the milk jug? Is this an alpha move? I mean, Billy, go ahead. That was just absolutely.

Speaker 2 When a woman sees a man chugging out of a gallon jug of milk.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yep.

Speaker 2 What happens? Puts asses in seats.

Speaker 1 Babies get made.

Speaker 1 It's like they.

Speaker 2 Well, yeah, they ovulate when they see it because it reminds them of a baby drinking.

Speaker 1 Kind of. Billy was.
He was a constant baby on a nipple. Yeah.

Speaker 2 You are a baby. Billy's a big baby.
Shugging milk is how you get the ladies.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Uh-huh.

Speaker 2 Fact.

Speaker 1 Boom. All right.

Speaker 1 I like ending with this one now. Do you guys want to end with the graphic one?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Fuck. Last week's was bad.
No, but go ahead.

Speaker 1 My answer is always going to be no. I love eating my man's ass, but sometimes he doesn't wipe well enough.
Oh, God. How should I respectfully tell him to get wipe better?

Speaker 2 Dude wipes. There it is.

Speaker 1 Dude, wipes.

Speaker 1 Dude wipes.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's T-A-K-E.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 1 This girl's a a real one. She is a real one.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 No, God bless you. You got a filthy mouth, but Wow.

Speaker 1 Literally. Love to dingle.
Dude wipes.

Speaker 1 Billy, recap. Nice dingle in your mouth.

Speaker 2 Guess who's getting off the injured reserve this week? Sam Ellinger.

Speaker 1 Sam Elinger. Let's go.

Speaker 6 Sam Ellie.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 also, Gary V had a quote where he said that it was better to be born with nothing than something because you'll be hungry.

Speaker 2 There you go.

Speaker 2 You can't teach that. Makes a lot of sense.
You actually can teach being hungry. Yeah.
It's pretty easy to do.

Speaker 1 Yeah, John Taffer's good at that.

Speaker 2 Yep. Sea turtles lay their eggs where they were born.
Oh. They return to the same beaches.
That's cute.

Speaker 1 Nice. That's very cute.

Speaker 2 Never done that one.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 Season 9. Wait, the fact that you said I've never done that one

Speaker 2 leads me to believe definitely does.

Speaker 1 Why would I ever?

Speaker 2 We're getting deep in the pocket of the intro.

Speaker 2 So you have done it before. No, I've never done that one before.

Speaker 1 How many people are deep in the pocket? There are so many animals.

Speaker 1 Well, we're pretty deep, you know.

Speaker 2 Like, I had to bring out a basic one.

Speaker 1 Buy an animal fact book.

Speaker 1 I have some. You're saying there's there's more take on me's in the world than animal facts.

Speaker 2 Yeah, well, you can remix them, and you can't just create new facts. You do all the time.

Speaker 1 What? Facts are 90%

Speaker 1 of what you do.

Speaker 2 Okay, I'll start giving fake ones. Okay.

Speaker 1 Oh, you'll start giving fake ones?

Speaker 2 I don't think I've given a single fake one. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 All right, 97.

Speaker 1 You can't see that.

Speaker 2 Elephants see people the way people see dogs.

Speaker 2 I've never done one that I haven't corrected.

Speaker 7 This is 97. One in 65 out of play.

Speaker 1 You, big hat, fucking

Speaker 1 13.

Speaker 1 Unlucky 13. 13's been popping off lately.
Billy was born on Friday, 13th. I'm gonna have a good week.
Are you?

Speaker 2 13 is my lucky number.

Speaker 1 Love you guys. Love you guys.
It's your lucky number? Yeah. Love you guys.
It's unlucky.

Speaker 2 Where other people see unlucky, I see lucky. I'm lucky, Bill.
Love you guys.

Speaker 6 Talking

Speaker 6 I'm about to say I'm saving away.

Speaker 1 Today's unlike the day to find you shy it away.

Speaker 6 I'll be coming for your love of dreams. Take

Speaker 6 on

Speaker 6 me.

Speaker 6 I'll be

Speaker 6 gone.

Speaker 6 the same.

Speaker 6 I'm not setting it.

Speaker 6 But he's over a little bit.

Speaker 6 Tell them by the same

Speaker 6 Say of me.

Speaker 1 It's the better to say good song.

Speaker 6 Say gone.

Speaker 6 Save me.

Speaker 6 I love He is gone.

Speaker 6 But I dare not be

Speaker 6 afraid of the pain.