NFL Week 3, Fastest 2 Minutes And A Recap Of Every Game (Big Cat Is Dead)

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I mean, where else can you pair wall-to-wall hoops with hard-to-find whiskey? Only at Twin Peaks, the number one sports bar. On today's part of my take, it is Football Monday, week three.
Reaction to every single game. You can tell my voice has been through some shit.
I had a terrible football weekend. We'll get into everything.
We've got fastest two minutes. Who's back of the week? Football guys of the week.
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Go check it out, the greatest place in the world to watch sports this fall. Today is Monday, September 27th.
Week three. Wah! Wah! Wah! Wah! We start in western New York.
It was showtime. and Josh Allen's sexy rocket arm blasts off and connects with Manuel in space.
Sean McDermott's brave heart was no match for the football team as a franchise known for Scottish Norwood's battle against Longshanks couldn't be exploited by Gibson as the Bills stoned the football team to death. They killed them, Boom.
And no one circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills. Bills 43, football team 21.
In Nashville, where Frank Thomas Reich and Carson Wentz's long white socks couldn't cover up the big hurt his ankles were feeling, Mike the Vrabel guy is thinking about cord cutting his penis again as the Titans are steaming their way to the top of the division. One night in Paris, Campbell said, you can finish on my Chester Rogers.
Meanwhile, Derek Henry Winkler stole all the Colts. Hey! And is giving Tennessee fans happy days.
The Titans, 25. The Colts, 16.
The Fonz. Hey! In an MDMI battle between Maryland and Michigan, Molly Wood Brown had Lions fans in ecstasy with all the pills he was dropping in the stadium.
Devin Duvernay galloped his way into the end zone. Jared Hasselgoff And Dan Campbell Anderson

Baywatch Justin Tucker Carlson

Goes super far right on an early kick

Before lining up from 66

At the buzzer

And ending the Lions chances at defeating

The Bird Gauntlet

Ravens 19

Lions 17

We go to a believe land

Where the Bears offense was buzzing

As Justin Yields took the wheel on every drive

Stayed in his lane

Thank you. It's late September and the Chicago Bears are one and two.
Cleveland 26, the Bears 6. We head down south to Jacksonville where Trevor Agami Lawrence looks good on paper but folded to a stout Cardinal defense in what could be Urban Meyer's swan song.
James Conor McGregor scored a proper 12 points on two touchdowns. God hates Jags as Christian Kirk and the NFC Westboro Baptist Cardinals looked at Trevor Lawrence's passes and said, let's pick it.
A.J. Green Mile was supernatural as he electrocuted an innocent secondary and paying homage to Michael Clark.
Kyler Murray dunked all of his doubters as his Cardinals are three Omarosa. Cardinals 31, Jaguars 19.
What? What? What? What? We go to Kansas City where Ahaha Hattrick Mahomes and Edwards Hilarious were giddy after chiefing but couldn't compensate for a laughable Chiefs defense. Asante Samuel Jr.
plays quarterback just like his daddy. You guessed it, Asante Samuel Sr.
That was wild, Boom. After throwing the no-look interception of the year, Mahomes found Judge Jody Fortson, who made the Chargers defendants look like fools.

I said, maybe you're going to get a win, Coach Staley.

And after all, you're two in Wonderwall.

The San Diego Super Chargers find their oasis in Kansas City.

The Chargers 30.

The Chiefs 30.

Out in Vegas, in a city known for plastic surgery, Peyton Barbara Streisand,

Thank you. in Kansas City.
The charge is 30. The Chiefs.
Come on in with it. Out in Vegas in a city known for plastic surgery, Peyton Barber-Struzan still managed to have a nose for the end zone.
Alec Ingold-Bond, Medicaid power, and Talcum Brown got applied to the balls and absorbed touchdowns. Truth or dare it, Carr admitted he has a crush on Hunter Renfro.
Casey Anthony Hayward wrapped up her wadler because any good mother knows safety first. Ooh.
In overtime, Daniel Haack Carlson took a dump down the Dolphins' blowholes, and just as we all expected, Las Vegas is at the top of the AFC West. Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? The Raiders 31, Dolphins 28.
We go to Los Angeles where Deshaun Jackson Mahomes poured cold water on the Bucs defense and awkwardly danced his way into the end zone. Aaron Hernandez Donald made Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski feel very scared and uncomfortable in their locker room.
Turn up the Sony Michelle stereo because Tom Brady MX was shaking his head saying, y'all going to make me lose my mind. Cup in here.
Cup in here. Sean MCVay was asking where my dog's at.
And Matt Staffordshire Terrier delivered some bad news to the Bucs. The Rams 34.
The Bucs, 24. Standing on the corner, Jameis Winston down in Nola.
Such a fine sight to see. It's the Pats, my lord.
Led by Kendrick Bourne. Max, Mr.
D-U-I-N-T. Come on on payton people are saying the patriots might suck they're fallatin states go marching 28 13 and that is fastest two minutes week three the barstool golf time app makes it easy for golfers to find the best tee times at the best prices.
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I i just want to raise my hand say it was fucked up to make you do all the big noises the raiders the braveheart all that stuff coming off this weekend well do we even have to talk about football we don't you know what we'll talk about instead we got a really nice new paint job in the studio look at that yeah that is nice we're driving a car. I wish I could go back to Thursday when I announced that basically all my happiness is at stake this weekend.
And then every single thing that could have gone wrong went wrong. And I am in a football torture chamber that we can start with where we always start the Sunday night football game.
And Aaron Rodgers shitting down my throat just to add. I was already dead.
My corpse was already there. So it was actually, you're fucked up, Aaron Rodgers.
You're a pervert. You're Italian.
You're a pervert. You're necrophiliac.
I'm beginning to think that he doesn't actually wish you peace and love. No, I'm dead.
I was a dead person laying there watching Sunday night football. And yeah, it turns out.
He wishes you terrorism and hate. Yes, yes.
All the hemming and hawing about Aaron Rodgers possibly not caring, possibly not being still one of the best football players on planet Earth. Turns out maybe not true.
Turns out maybe a little premature. Turns out he's still pretty fucking good at football.
I think there was hemming. There wasn't hawing just yet.
Hawing. I was doing both.
You were hemming and hawing, but I think most people, we

stuck to the hemming, and Aaron Rodgers

went out there and lit it up. The throws to Devontae

Adams are just insane. You can't guard him.

Nope. Even if you

play perfect coverage against Devontae Adams,

guess what? He's going to throw the back shoulder.

If you play the back shoulder, he's going to lead

Devontae Adams. Yes.
It's almost impossible to

defend him when he's dialed in, and he was

definitely dialed in. And he also

has Marquez Valdez Scantling, who's faster than everyone else on the field. So every now and then, like, oh, let's just do this, where it's the other side of the field.
We'll throw to someone who's way faster than everyone. The sad part about this is Jimmy G had a drive to maybe save his starting job because he had moments tonight where he was not looking great.
They even brought in Trey Lance to run the touchdown play, which Kyle Shanahan deserves credit for. Big balls, two seconds left in the first half, bringing the touchdown play.
Trent Williams, I know he weighs 150 pounds more than the defensive back he blocked, but it still was. Jeff Schwartz, I want to see that with the dirty spoon tomorrow morning.
Oh, he'll hit the spoon on it. So Trent Williams, he bench-pressed another grown man in that play.
Like literally bench-pressed him, almost threw him out of the back of the end zone. And as bad as this weekend is for you, I'm not going to downplay your football sorrow.
We have a lot of stuff of stuff but anytime this shit happens on sunday night um they always have to stick it in my face that kyle shanahan uh-huh and matt lafleur uh-huh and sean mcveigh yep we're all coaches on the washington football team at the same time and we let him get away now the record's like 110 and 60 or something stupid like that and that's counting the bad seasons that the

niners have had with no quarterbacks because of injury and then we have trent williams just dominating people just shoving people over yeah but it was a situation where i did i did the basic pft tweets again tonight and i said too much time on the clock for aaron rogers like five times but it's actually true it's a hundred percent if you if you give aaron rogers i would say 19 seconds is not enough time for Aaron Rodgers.

Anything above 20, that's too much time. It's crazy because they had no timeouts.
So you basically have to do the perfect drive, and he did it. You have to get a big first down 20, 30-yard gain, which they did.
I think they had one incompletion, and then he makes the next throw over the middle to Devontae Adams and gets up to the ball. And he knew it.
You saw him fist bumping. Mason Crossbar hits the game winner.
Packers. I would say if we're doing winners and losers this week, just position wise, fullbacks had a monster weekend, but kickers had a monster weekend too.
An even better weekend for the kickers. so he drilled a 51-yarder, just pure, and you knew what was going on.
Aaron Rodgers knew what was in when he completed that last pass and he spiked the ball, and then you know what? Okay, I'm going to take a stand for 49ers fans. Go back, look at the tape.
I'm pretty sure that Aaron Rodgers taunted after he spiked that ball. I think he gave like a fist pump right in the face of the Niners defense.
That would have actually been incredible if that ref crew had called that taunting after they didn't call Devontae Adams getting like missiled in the skull. Jesus Christ.
Not anything. I learned a new term tonight for football.
I didn't know this, but the independent concussion watcher, when he spots somebody that might be concussed, he wears a red hat. And so he goes and they call him the red hat guy.
Yep. And they grab the guy.
They go into the blue tent with the red hat. And then they do the evaluation.
I don't think that they actually did a serious evaluation. No, he looked knocked out.
On Devontae Adams because he probably shouldn't have come back in the game. But you know what? He did.
Yeah, he did. And the Packers won.
And the Packers look like a true Super Bowl contender. And that's not an easy win.
I think the Niners are a good team. I don't think that there's anything to be shamed about for the Niners going toe-to-toe there.
I don't know. It feels like their quarterback situation will at some point this season.
There will be like a crossroads. It feels like we're heading towards that, but as of right now, they're still a very good team.
George Kittle's a monster. He had that one catch where he was just fighting everyone down the field.
And Debo Samuel is, I would say, throw it out there, the number one guy right now whose name matches his play. Because every time he makes a catch, it's like, holy shit, he's a man.
I love watching George Kittle. I almost call him Greg.
I think his name's Greg at this point. His name is Greg.
I love watching Greg Kittle in the open field because, you're right, he actually does get into fights. Yeah.
If that were to take place any point outside of football field, it's like two places. One, outside of a club in Baton Rouge.
And two, just on an African safari in the Savannah where it's like a lion taking on six

wildebeest that gang up against him. That's what

Greg Kittle. Old lion.
Except the lion

wins. Yes.
Yeah, no, it

is very reminiscent of a guy, a

way too drunk guy with superpowers

trying to fight off a bunch of bouncers

as he's getting kicked out of a bar. Yeah.

Or like when you used to watch Cops

now canceled, but Cops

which I watched many hours of

whenever they would come across someone who maybe

had dabbled in some angels

Thank you. Or like when you used to watch Cops, now canceled, but Cops, which I watched many hours of, whenever they would come across someone who maybe had dabbled in some Angels Dust or something like that where they had superhuman strength.
Greg Kittle is always on Angel Dust. He's on PCP.
He plays like he's on Angel Dust. Yeah.
I do agree with you, though. I think that the clock is ticking on Jimmy G.
It just feels like... Could Jimmy G get traded mid-season? I don't know if he'll get traded because you wouldn't...
You should trade him to the Pats tomorrow. The 49ers are...
Just for this week. That'd be incredible.
We'll get to all the rookie quarterbacks today because it was a tough day for rookie quarterbacks across the league. But Jimmy G, I think you keep him because you have a roster that is Super Bowl caliber.

So you don't want to like what happens if Trey Lance gets hurt,

especially if you're running him.

But it does feel like if they can bring Trey Lance along and Jimmy G does just enough, like there'll be a point where like,

all right, to take this offense to the next level,

Trey Lance has to play.

So the old saying, like, if you have two quarterbacks,

you don't have one.

They probably just have one quarterback. They can just say like Trey Lance is just, he's our offensive weapon.
And he happens to start at the quarterback position until he gets hurt. And then Jimmy G is our quarterback.
And listen, there will be moments in this podcast where people will be like, that's hypocritical because you're saying other starting rookie quarterbacks should play right away. And I think that's true if you are not contending and trying to win football games right now.
If you're Kyle Shanahan, you don't want to lose games because Trey Lance is not ready when you're a playoff team. You're trying to go to the playoffs.
So at this point, you don't want to give away a game for a rookie mistake when you could possibly keep winning games with Jimmy G. And Trey Lance is still adapting to NFL speed because he came from FCS.
Yeah, one game. By the way, I absolutely love how on ESPN they keep telling us FCS parentheses Division 1AA.
That was last year that they changed the name. I'm pretty sure it hasn't been that way in 20 years.
No. But as an old person, my brain sometimes is stuck in sports memories from the year 2004.
I appreciate them letting me know that. But yeah, I don't necessarily think there's just one ball thing.
No. No offense to the other Lance.
Yeah. But I do think that they can share time.
I think that there's ways to incorporate them into the game and probably be a better football team in the long run. Yes.
All right. So that's Sunday Night Football.
Should we move to the next? We'll start with actually the craziest ending of a game this week. The Ravens-Lions.
I'm sorry. I forgot one thing.
What? This is pretty important. We have a handshake controversy.
Why? After the game, Shanahan and LaFleur did the breeze by. Oh, I love it.
Trouble in paradise. I love it.
Two best friends. I love it.
If I was Matt LaFlefleur i'd actually be pissed off because during the broadcast i think collinsworth or al michaels kept saying that that uh that lefleur learned everything that he knows about football from kyle shanahan i don't know if that's necessarily true but they kept repeating like this this is where he got everything that's in his brain right now who breeze by who i think it was a double breeze by oh because. I heard an interview with him before the game, and they used to talk almost every day on the phone, and they haven't talked in a long time.
I actually don't think that this is bad because they did like a half-hug pat on the back. So I'm not counting this as bad blood.
I'm counting this as, that was a really close game. I don't really want to sit and talk to you on the field.
I don't know. I think Kyle Shanahan's pissed at him, or LaFleur's pissed at Kyle Shanahan for the Aaron Rodgers stuff, for trying to take another man's quarterback.
No, because if you want to say anyone's doing the breeze by here, it's probably more Shanahan than LaFleur. So if we're really going to break it down, LaFleur does the pat on the back.
I'm not counting this as a breeze by. I don't think they have a beef.

I think that's Kyle Shanahan, the competitor, being like,

hey, I don't really want to catch up with a friend right now

after I just lost a heartbreak.

And everyone's cheering on the Packers are going crazy on the field.

So I'm saying no beef.

Okay, we'll keep an eye on it.

No beef.

All right.

The best game or the best ending for a game this weekend, Ravens-Lions. So let's start there.
Stop me if you heard this before, but the Detroit Lions got screwed. I think at this point, the saddest part about the Lions getting screwed is they've been screwed so many times, and they've been cast off so many times as a fan base that people just don't really advocate for them anymore.
It's like, well,, it was a 66 yarder. It was fucking sick.
What are you going to do? So if you missed it, it was, there was a moment. So the Ravens are driving to get a game winning field goal.
It's like, what was it? Fourth and 18. No, no, no.
Fourth and 19 was what they converted. So they converted a fourth and 19, which if you want to say, hey, the Lions, you could have won the game right there.
You could have won the game right there if you don't let them convert a fourth and 19. It was like seven seconds left.
It actually was an incompletion, but it was very clear. I think Mike Tirico even tweeted his 1.5 seconds elapsed from the moment it went zero on the TV to the moment the ball was snapped, which I know that they might be different than the clock in the stadium.
It can't be that different. No, it's not that different.
Dan Campbell was saying after the game, like, yeah, we expect to get a letter from the league office being like, hey, our bad. Sorry about that.
So Dan Campbell saw the same thing that we saw. He said it doesn't matter.
He said tomorrow we'll get an apology and it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.
I love that mentality. Dan Campbell and the Lions are definitely frisky.

They're going to play everybody hard.

They play very, very tough.

Yeah.

If they can stay relatively healthy with the players that they have, which are not great,

they're still going to play everybody tough.

Yes.

And yeah, I had Jake time it, actually.

I think we got to like 1.9 seconds.

1.99.

1.99.

But at any rate, no matter what happens, because I know how they judge it on the field, which is the back judge looks at the clock when it hits zero. Then he puts his eyes on the ball.
If the ball's not moving, he throws the flag. So either this back judge has the slowest eyes in America or he just fell asleep during a play and didn't call it.
Or he was caught up in the moment, too. No, or he hates the Lions, which is probably the most likely.
And he knows that if you screw over the Lions, there's really nothing anyone will do about it. Right, well we should do something about it because this one is fucked up and it's also the second time that the Lions have lost on a record setting long field goal.
Yes. 51 years ago.
Actually both 19-17 final scores. They showed it.
Yeah, 19-17 Saints beat the Lions and then they also showed it the last time that Justin Tucker was in Detroit. They walked off with a 61-yarder, I think, was what he hit to win that game.
I think that was a Monday night game in 2013. Maybe the most heartbreaking part of it was the kick was up.
It was dead center. It hits the crossbar.
And the Detroit Lions fans behind the crossbar stand up and start cheering as the ball's floating in the air going over and into the net. I don't think that the Lions can have a closer loss than that.
Maybe I'm like tempting fate. And Lions fans, if you're listening to me right now, you're like, just wait, we'll figure out a way to make it stupider next time.
But I don't see how it gets any closer. No, it was so Detroit Lions from everything.
The 4th and 19, giving that up. It was like 4th and 19 on the Ravens' own 10-yard line.
You just get one stop. They didn't rush enough guys.
4th and 19, they're playing in the zone. Lamar lost it over.
4th and 19, the clock, the refs fucking up the clock, and then the doink to go in with a record-setting.

It's not just a field goal.

It's a record-setting field goal to lose that game.

And my good friend Detroit, Don, DM'd me a couple hours after the game.

He just said, I have no words.

And I was like, dude, that technically is words, but you're right.

No, saying I have no words should not count as savage words. Those are words.
You're just communicating. Yes.
But it's so, so bad. Now, we should give the Ravens some credit because, well, I mean, they played poorly today.
I wasn't actually, if you look at it, you're like, oh, Lamar Jackson wasn't the best. It was Hollywood Brown just dropped every ball.
He sucked today. Sucks.
He sucks so bad. He's so bad.
Occasionally, he'll show up. If he's got like three yards of separation, he'll make a 56-yard touchdown catch once every three weeks.
But besides that, he stinks. He dropped three touchdowns, two on the same drive.
Do you know how hard that is to do? If you can touch it, you can catch it, right, Hank? And also, if you're Hollywood... Number one rule in football.
Yeah, if you're Hollywood Brown, I guess the only spin zone is like, I got open. I beat my man a lot.
You can't. At some point, the nickname has to go away.
I don't think you can call yourself Marquise Brown until he has a game with zero drops. Well, it's because he's from Florida.
Yeah, I know, but it's Marquise now. It has to be.
PFT's right. You can't be Hollywood Brown right now.
You can't drop touchdowns and especially when Lamar Jackson like you know there are actual debates about his ability to throw from the pocket which I think is fair to at least throw out there and then you're really not doing him any favors when you just keep dropping touchdowns so it's not on Lamar it was on Marquise Brown here's a fun stat Lamar Jackson's undefeated when he has diarrhea. There we go.
This game and then the last year in primetime. Beautiful.
He's had diarrhea for like 10 days now. Just give him some chili.
Give him some chili and let him cook. Yeah.
On his chap shit. He's on his chap shit.
He is. Should we talk real quick, though? Justin Tucker giving him his flowers.
Is he the greatest kicker of all time? Yes. I know Adam Vinatieri obviously has the most clutch kicks, but Justin Tucker is insane.
So 66-yarder, breaks the record. Matt Prater had it at 64, which was mile high, so that's different.
Asterix. Yeah, asterix.
Actually, the kick he missed earlier in the game was the first ever kick he missed in a dome. So he'd been perfect in a dome.
I looked at it. He's 98.9% extra point in his career, 90.7% field goals in his career, and he's never missed a kick, a field goal, in the final minute of a regulation game over 15 tries.
That's clutch and incredible. It perfectly correlates to the Brady-Rogers debate, because I'd say Adam Vinatieri is the greatest of all time, and Justin Tucker is the best of all time.
Justin Tucker has one ring. He's incredible.
Wait, no, Aaron Rodgers has more than one ring, right? No, no, no, no. He has more than one NFC Championship appearance game.
Oh, shit. Okay, I guess I forgot.
But he's lost almost all of them. He yeah, yeah.
Love and peace to Aaron Rodgers, by the way. I really shouldn't have tweeted that while the game was still going on.
That was an all-time reverse tweet. Well, actually, no.
The worst tweet of the weekend was actually when I said, man, Campbell's going to go crazy in the locker room right before the 4th and 19 play. So I'm sorry, Lions fans.
I should have added that. You had the refs, you had the history of the Detroit Lions, you had Justin Tucker, and you had me just having the worst time, jinx, tweets, all going against you.
Spin zone for Lions fans, though, you guys put up a great highlight at halftime when Calvin Johnson got his ring, his Detroit Lions ring, and then the owner of the Lions was out there on the field. I forget what her real last name is.
Yeah, Martha Ford, but she's got some other last name now. And the entire crowd just booed the absolute shit out of her.
Yes, which is great. It was so loud.
I love it. I love any chance that you get to boo the owner of the team.
Excuse me, the governor of the team. It was great.
So good job, Lions fans. I think America is...
We're sick of seeing the Lions lose like this. It's not fun.
I take no pleasure in watching the Lions lose.

There are certain franchises that I love to see them lose.

It was one of those things, too,

that if you're going to lose in this tragic fashion,

at least do it on a primetime game

so that people can actually feel bad for you.

When it happens during the witching hour,

we've already moved on to the next four games.

So it's like your moment of everyone being like,

holy shit, it really sucks to be a Lions fan, gets passed over so we're giving it to you right now lions fans it sucks right now but i have a spin zone dan campbell like i know that we poke fun everyone pokes fun well we actually kind of love him but you know the the meathead you know the biting kneeca, Metallica, all these things. I think he actually has them, like, going in the right direction.
Yeah. And he said after, he said the quote was, we can get discouraged and we can stop continuing to believe and fight.
I love the grit of this frickin' team. He said frickin', so appreciate that as well.
But I, like, I actually think the Lions, like, they're not, the roster is not not great and they're fighting and they're playing really hard and if you want to really break it down they have played the uh packers who they play week one oh the niners the packers and the ravens one half of each of those games they were incredible yeah no they're they've beaten them all in a half of the game they're playing really hard The best thing that the Lions could do this year is to lose every game, be competitive in every single game. So you know that you're very close, and you know that you have some pieces to build on, and then get a sick draft pick.
Probably not lose every game, but you know what I'm saying. It's not bad what they're doing right now.
Don't say that because that actually has happened. I don't want it to happen.
And it's 17. You don't want to be the first team to go 0-17.
You don't want to set any records. Yes.
Maybe win three games this year. But remain competitive in all of them because they're not a bad football team and Dan Campbell's a good head coach, I think.
Anthony Lynn, as offensive coordinator, is an awesome offensive coordinator. Well, he doesn't have to worry about timeouts and shit.
That's the thing. It's like he's completely freed up his brain.
He no longer has to pretend to care about analytics right so he's got somebody else that's in charge of the decision making and the high level stuff that you have to answer for and anthony lynn the bird brain is no longer in existence anymore now it's anthony lynn the very competent offensive coordinator i love it sometimes they're just guys should be coordinators that's that's a. All right.
So sorry, Lions fans. That was terrible.
But in a weird way, when you rack these up, I mean, I want to say someday. Someday.
I think... Someday.
And you'll have all these moments where you can look back and be like, remember this? Remember that? Yeah. Someday.
There are a few teams that you can say they're close. I don't think the Lions Lions are in the they're close.
I'm doing the someday. But they're on the right track conversation.
What you have to do if you're a Lions fan is essentially say, I hope to live to be 80. And that's hopefully enough years that eventually will turn.
Yeah. Like by law of averages, if you're a 30-year-old Lions fan, you're saying at some point in the next 50 years of my life, it will turn.
And you're looking frisky with one of the worst rosters in the NFL. Frisky is good.
Here's a fun game to play. It's called Name a Detroit Lions Wide Receiver.
Kenny Galladay's gone. He's gone.
Not Slayton. He's gone, too.
Yeah. Golden Tate's also gone.
I've got one. What is it? Amon Ross St.
Brown. Boom.
It's a cool name. That is a cool name.
That's why I remember it. That's a huge name.
But, yeah, it's not a good sign. Oh, no.
I know one. Quintez Cephas, Wisconsin.
There you go. I did.
Okay. There.
There we go. Got it.
Nailed it. All right.
Next game. Washington football team, Bills.
So 21, Washington football team, Bills 43, PFT. I give you the floor with a simple question.
What's up with the defense? We suck. We suck.
We're a sucky bunch of sucks, and we can't stop sucking. That's the only thing that I can say.
At some point, I need to figure out a reason why we suck. Right right and i don't know why same guys so i've got one explanation it's it's maybe the worst explanation but it's still something chase young does too many commercials what about a distraction i don't know that's a it's a terrible excuse i don't have a real answer for you you want to go all dan woken on everyone and be like the vaccination thing caused the rift in the locker room it could go with that There you go, because they're up to speed on their vaccinations now.
Are they? Yeah, they are. No, but you might be right.
There might still be lingering bad blood. Right.
Like, they're passing around too many YouTube videos instead of watching films. Yes.
It was, I mean, it's just shocking because Taylor Heineke, nice guy. He's back to undrafted, by the way, if you want to do the status, undrafted rookie.
He had what you got to call head scratchers. Yeah.
But he looked okay at times, too. Yeah.
If we're doing the Scott Turner sliding scale, which Scott Turner was correct that we do this whenever a guy has a bad game, we're like, oh, he's undrafted for a reason. Well, if we're going to do that, he's undrafted for a reason after this week.
Yeah. But I still like him, but yeah, he's undrafted for a reason well if we're gonna do that he's undrafted for a reason after this week yeah but uh i still like him but yeah he's undrafted for a reason i think he's a decent quarterback i think he'll be fine well we gotta wait this was just a shit kicking he's gotta he's gotta be good again and then we can be like wow right how was he undrafted then i'll over the touchdown was sick yeah it was well taylor heineke he loves nothing more than diving for the pylon he knows that when the ball touchesylon, it looks fucking awesome, and we all remember it.
He's correct about that. I always remember that, so good job, Taylor.
But, yeah, we don't really have much to build on from this game, except we executed the longest onside kick in the history of the NFL. That's huge.
With the ball bounced back and our kicker recovered it. And also Josh Allen's back.
Not that he was ever gone, but the Bills looked like they're rounding back into form. It's so weird to think how crazy the NFL season is because we'll get to the Steelers game, but the fact that the Steelers beat the Bills week one, I don't think that if you just play that in 10 weeks from now, the Bills will probably be favored by a million.
Because it's just the Bills needed a week to get going. They killed the Dolphins.
They actually had a streak there of, what is it, 35 plus 21. Quick math.
56. You've got to be able to do that with gambling math.
56 straight points. Well, none of my team's ever come close to scoring that much.
So I can't really count touchdowns anymore. One.
One touchdown I can count. But, yeah, the Bills are back to looking like a serious, serious Super Bowl contender.
This was one of those history games, too, where the Washington football team hasn't won in Buffalo since 1987, which is a long time. It's a very misleading stat because they play like probably once every eight years or something stupid like that.
But yeah, it was just, it was never going to happen this week. I said going into it, it's a measuring stick game.
I think I just repeated what Ron Rivera said and I just bought into it. But the measuring stick is not, we're using a protractor.
Hey, they came back. They're using a yardstick.
The Bills jumped out 21-0. The Washington football team came back, made it 21-14.
We made it real interesting. And then it was just, yeah.
But Chase Young said after the game this week he has one rule. No bullshitting.
Okay. If somebody's bullshitting, you let me know.
So if anybody sees someone bullshitting, let me know so I can let Chase Young know. Yeah.
Okay. Perfect.
No bullshitting. No bullshitting this week.
Have they, like, asked to hit you up since you're, like, a fan ambassador or whatever? Been like, hey, what's going on? Do you have any input? No bullshitting? No bullshitting. I agree.
I co-sign no bullshitting. Yeah.
So, no? You got to pin your ears back on defense. No bullshitting.
My feedback? No bullshitting? No. You got to pin your ears back and you got to set the edge.
You got to have your first rounders play like first rounders out there. No bullshitting.
No bullshitting. No bullshitting.
All right. Colts Titans.
Speaking of vaccine comments, you see Jim. Well, Jim Irsay's band is awesome.
Yeah. That was the highlight of the week.
That was incredible. So what he does, I guess he does this on a regular basis he just busts open his guitar collection and then he has people who actually know how to play guitar come and play his instruments for him it's great as long as he can sing yeah which he he sang beautifully he sang all along the watchtower it's i mean this is listen i know that it's uh not in vogue to be rich anymore but but Jim Irsay does rich correctly.
He's a rich guy who's like, he's going to just kind of talk a little bit about his team. He owns a sports team.
He collects a bunch of guitars. He gives away money on Twitter, and then he has people play his guitars while he gets to sing and be like, I'm in a rock band.
Yeah, he's a poor guy's rich guy. Yeah, it's great.
I love seeing him. If you have enough money like that, all I would do, I would own a sports team and I would buy a shitload of guitars.
Right. That's it.
So he's living my dream. Right.
But he did say, I couldn't tell whether it was, it took a little bit of a turn because he had a comment about Carson Wentz, like his availability basically being like, stop getting hurt. But then he also kind of turned that into a vaccine thing about Carson Wentz, like his availability, basically being like, stop getting hurt.
But then he also kind of turned that into a vaccine thing about Carson Wentz not being vaccinated. It feels like maybe Jim Irsay is a little, maybe the bloom is off the rose with the quarterback.
He's paying a lot of money to not play or play poorly. Do you think there was a bloom? I don't know.
I think maybe there was a two-game bloom. There could have...
The two-game bloom. I think there was a bloom right after they traded for him.
Yeah. And then the bloom went away when they saw him practice.
But I bring that up because Carson Wentz gets credit for gutting it out through two ankle sprains. But also, I think, gets credit taken away for, I think you hurt your team because Jacob Eason probably would have given you a better option.
Yeah, two sprained ankles. I get that he doesn't want to sit out.
It's a good thing that he doesn't want to sit out. But it was visible.
There were moments that he could not make plays with his feet or he didn't trust where he was going because he didn't have any mobility. So I don't know.
I mean, the Colts, they lose Quentin Nelson to said high ankle sprain. He gets carted off.
It feels like the things are kind of spiraling for the Colts here. Yeah.
Let's see what their schedule is. The big winner.
I think they play the Dolphins next week. So they could get a win next week maybe.
But, yeah, with Carson Wentz, the big winner in this is Philadelphia. Yes.
Because the more he plays, the more likely they are to get a first-round pick. So I think, I forget what the exact parameters are, but he has to play, I think, over 75% of the snaps in a certain amount of games or whatever.
So this was big. The fact that they put him out there today meant it was much more likely that the Philadelphia Eagles are going to get a first-rounder for Carson Wentz.
Which is just, it's crazy to say that that was the price tag on Carson Winch. Yes, very crazy.
I think the Colts could be 5-5. I just looked at it through their first 10 weeks.
They still have, coming up, they have the Dolphins, Texans, Jets, and Jaguars in some combination. There you go.
So that's actually, there's your silver lining. Then they get Sam Ellinger back.
Yes, and then anything can happen. Then the moon.
By the way, I like, you know, not just because he is a co-worker of ours, but Tara Luan, who obviously was terrible week one, got shit on a bunch. He came back.
He played well. You know, didn't mention him.
Derek Henry ran well, didn't give up any sacks. I actually thought he had some great comments after the game because he got booed coming out on the field and he was like that really hurt and I like I was in a very very dark place after week one and it was very very hard like that was the hardest thing I've gone through is like fighting back from that much public humiliation and coming off an ACL I just I don't know it's very honest and I appreciate whenever an athlete's honest and that not just because he's a co-worker, but good for him that he was able to get back out there and play well.
Yeah, yeah. He did block really well, and Derrick Henry ran like a fucking monster.
But it's weird to see Derrick Henry playing this well this early in the season. Is he peaking too soon? I don't know.
And sometimes we have that conversation, and we're just clearly bullshitting about the peak too soon. He might actually be peaking too soon.
I think he's peaking too soon. This was also, the Titans didn't play that great, but you can just chalk it up to it's tough to win division games.
It is, yeah. It's tough to win division games.
These guys beat each other up twice a year. They got a lot of film on the other franchise.
So yeah, the Titans look good. They clearly look like the best team in that division.
And I don't know who's second place probably probably the colts yeah i can't imagine it would be the texans or the jaguars yeah that's true so that was one verse two you're probably going to finish second place in the division this year regardless of what happens that's a good point um all right uh bears browns go off i mean that was really hard to watch that that was really hard to watch.

That was really, really hard to watch.

Nine sacks.

Is there a chance that Matt Nagy was right?

No.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

You didn't let me finish.

Okay.

Matt Nagy was right that Andy Dalton is better at running the Andy Dalton offense

than Justin Fields is at running the Andy Dalton offense.

Here's how fucked up I am in my own head right now. Here's how much Matt Nagy has me twisted around.
I think he threw that game to try to prove that he's right, that Andy Dalton's a better quarterback than Justin Fields right now. Because that's the only explanation for the play calling and the game plan that he put out there.
He, and so much so, I saw after the game, Matt Nagy in his post-game press conference was like, yeah, Justin Fields might have hurt his hand at the end of the game, his throwing hand, and Justin Fields was like, no, I'm fine. See, he's doing this to fuck with Bears fans.
He's doing this to fuck with me personally. He is basically saying, all you think you know more than me, I'm going to show you that Justin Fields stinks by making him a pocket passer, giving him Annie Dalton's pocket, not moving the pocket, not doing anything creative, not getting anyone schemed open, not doing any run play option, having the offensive line, which is terrible, be very, very terrible, watching him just die out there just so I can say, I told you so, I'm smarter than you.

I don't think that you're actually that insane.

No, I'm not.

I saw a lot of people that watch a lot of football that are in no way connected to the

Bears say the exact same thing today, that Matt Nagy is not doing Justin Fields any favors

and it's almost like borderline mismanagement.

Criminal mismanagement.

Criminal.

Put him in jail. What he's done.
The Hague. What's the Hague? The Hague, yeah.
I think it's the Netherlands's almost like borderline criminal mismanagement criminal mispronouncement put him in jail what he's done the hague what's the hague yeah another i think it's the hague fucking work that put his ass in the hague put matt matt nagy in the hague for fucking war crimes against football this motherfucker he's like mustard gassing his own fan base it's terrible he's a fuckhead matt nagy saddam hus not going to say he's a nice guy. Yeah, no, I really had the thought.
I was like, is he doing this on purpose? Is he doing this to fuck with us? Because it really was Andy Dalton's pocket. It was so incredible.
And you know what? Let me do this real quick. Justin Fields didn't play well.
He really didn't. He did not.
There's not a lot that you can do with that offensive line turns out maybe getting jason peters off the street as a 39 year old who's you know for you know gonna be probably a hall of famer but he's 39 uh doesn't really work out when he's going up against miles garrett yeah justin feels did miss some throws you really can't say anything about six for 20 for uh well it's i have a problem with the fact that the nfl does because you know there's meetings going around they include the stats sacks include his passing yards negative passing yards so everyone's like justin tucker's field goal was longer than all the bears total yards fuck that just feels at 68 yards motherfuckers a passing 68 that's crazy I saw one dude say that Justin Fields had one yard passing. Yeahers, of passing.
68. That's crazy.

I saw one dude say that Justin Fields had one yard passing.

Yeah, that's because they take away sacks.

He had sacks nine times.

I've never seen that not used in a plural form.

Yeah, no, he had a yard.

He had a yard of passing. Technically, they had 47 yards total.

Yes.

But again, it's bullshit.

It's bullshit that they count sacks as negative passing yards. So 19 yards shy of Justin Tucker's field goal is what you're saying.
But he had 68 yards passing. For real.
We were right, though. We were right.
We said that Matt Nagy would run the same offense. We saw this coming a mile away.
But we were wrong because I thought that Stefanski would prepare for an offense that was going to run a different offensive scheme. But no, it turns out Stefanski is smart, and he for a matchup against an idiot.
He's an idiot. He was very well equipped.
I saw a quote from Matt Nagy after the game that said there wasn't a lot we could do because they were coming off the edge real hot and so we were kind of limited in what we were able to run offensively. That's exactly where you run.
You were hired. That's exactly where you run the RPO.
That's where you run the insides, the zone read. Bootleg.
Get him out of the pocket. If the pocket doesn't work, move the pocket.
You control that. You are the head coach.
You're the offensive coordinator, which I should add, Matt Nagy fired himself as offensive coordinator last year, and then this offseason rehired himself as offensive coordinator. So he's got to do the Mike McCarthy and fire himself again.
And then towards the end of the year, don't do it. Don't do it just yet.
But what you got to do, Matt Nagy, if you want to extend your job, here are the steps. You hold off on Justin Fields for as long as you possibly can.
Then you bring him in and run a slightly different offense with slightly better results. And then when things start to sputter, you fire yourself as offensive coordinator.
And then you you're like let's build on this for next year under this new format the new organizational chart that we have inside my own brain i i want hank were you gonna say something i'll wait till the end i just have to ask a follow-up okay i want to say something real quick though i want people to do a little policing on the internet this week for me this is all i ask i'm as low as i could possibly be thank god we don't talk about college football on monday shows uh well i'm as low as could be it was it was a terrible terrible football weekend watching the bears is painful it's it's excruciating it's disgusting everything is just terrible i want you though to do me this one favor if you see or hear talking heads be like see this is why matt nagy had andy dalton playing and not justin fields tell them they're fucking idiots please because that was never the point the point has always been the bears are going nowhere we know what andy dalton is why not try to see what you have in a rookie qb that you just you know used a lot of draft capital on play Justin Fields play the rookie I didn't expect Matt Nagy to run a terrible terrible offense it doesn't change the fact that I want to see Justin Fields out there so please call out anyone who says Bears fans are so stupid for calling for Justin Fields no we're not we don't want to see Andy Dalton because Andy Dalton is what he is very nice guy but he But he is what he is. He's not going to do it.
This team's not a playoff team. They weren't a playoff team if they had Patrick Mahomes as a quarterback.
There's flaws all over the roster. We want to see the young guy because there's no reason to play Andy Dalton and win like six games.
There just isn't. I'd rather see Justin Fields progress.
Do you think that Matt Nagy is lazy and that's why he hasn't updated the playbook? He's just like, I don't really feel like it? Probably. I hate him so much.
I really, really, really hate him. To all the Browns fans, credit to the Browns.
No, they're awesome. They play bully ball.
The Browns are going to beat the shit out of the Steelers next week. Yeah, they are.
The Browns, the best compliment I can pay to the Browns is they are so good now at running their offense. Every time they run a screen pass, I just expect to go 25 yards.
Yeah. They have that thing going where when Baker dumps it off to Chunt, it's like, okay, they're perfectly blocked, and they're going to just run it down your throat.
Yeah, this is a big-time take-care-of-business game for the Browns. They had to take care of business against a team that they should

beat and they did it. So it's just like, check this

off the list. Next week, I'm very excited

for the Steelers coming into town.

I think that the Browns are going to hang

like 45 points off. Yeah, I do too.

And Miles Garrett was incredible.

I mean, nine sacks is

insane. He even said

he was like, after the first drive, we kind of figured

out what they were doing and they never changed. So that that that should tell you everything right there clowny

had two sacks yeah this is a big game for clowny to show up and remind people that he still exists

yep and probably secure his next big contract because of this game it turns out that maybe

uh drafting uh or going up for a guy in the second round of the draft take an offensive lineman

that is the steal of the draft but he has back issues at 22 and then needs back surgery before

the season starts and you're having your entire

I'm going to go Anytime you get a blue-chip quarterback, you have to draft an offensive line and pay way too much for him so you can say, and we got the guy that's going to protect him for the next 15 years too. Listen, I can't actually do a better job than these two idiots, but I can still call them idiots.
That's my right. I actually think that we could do a better job as a general manager than a general manager could do hosting a podcast where they call out other general managers yeah well you know what i'm gonna say i could do a better job than matt nagy in this particular game because i would have simply had uh justin fields do super shotgun where he's like 15 yards away from the line of scrimmage there you go shark wheel yeah like just just stay so far back that you at least have more than one second to throw the ball i actually think that we we would be better head coaches than most head coaches, as long as we didn't have to actually be on the sideline and talk to players.

I think if you just gave us a controller—

They wouldn't respect us.

No, not at all.

If you gave us an Xbox controller, and that's how we selected the plays,

I think we could do a better job than most football coaches.

Dude, listen.

People joke about Shark Wheel, but it is unstoppable.

When you roll out the quarterback, and you roll out the running back, and everyone has to decide whether they're going to guard the running back, guard the run from the quarterback, or get the pass, it's unstoppable. Maybe put some Shark Wheel in your fucking playbook.
Take the visor off, too. You don't deserve the visor.
He doesn't. Just go bald? Yes.
He doesn't deserve the visor. The visor is Steve Spurrier running it up on people and kicking the shit out of opponents.
He should have to wear the dunce cap on the sidelines. You don't get the visor.
Wear the conehead, Navy. Take that visor away.
I know we don't talk about college football on Monday's pick cap, but we did talk about Friday Wisconsin and the Bears and which would be worse after the weekend follow-up.

Is there one that was worse than the other?

No, they were both equally just so devastating

in different and unique fashions.

One, I watched my teams play eight quarters,

and they scored one touchdown.

One.

One.

Graham Mertz might not be the guy,

but he's just a kid.

At least you weren't riding high going into the Bears.

No, that doesn't help. At least the Bears lost to a starter.
That's good, too. I mean, the...
I love Drew Pine. It's too bad we don't do boomers for college because they're...
I retweeted it, but Notre Dame's quarterbacks are Cone and Pine. Yeah.
Pine Cone. Yep.
I do love Drew Pine, though. No.
He's a short king. But, I mean, the Badgers outgain.
It's hard to outgain an opponent and lose 41-13. But they found a way to do it.
They found a way to do it. And shout out.
I was sitting in a suite. We were doing a pen VIP thing.
Shout out the woman who sat next to me when the Badgers went up 13-10. And she's like, happy now? And literally two seconds later the kick return happened and everything fell apart.
She left so fast I never saw her again. She mushed you.
It was a bad weekend. You know what? Football is a stupid sport.
We shouldn't care about sports. It's dumb to care this much.
I'm a father of two. We're in a pandemic.
We're all on the same team we're all on the same team we're fighting against the coronavirus and also as as far as your teams go they're about on par for everybody else in this room's teams yeah we root for the worst teams in sports currently uh i had our uh co-worker evan who does stats pull it up and uh it's not like some crazy stat but the Bears and Badgers combined are 8-15 since October 26th of last year. A lot of losing football.
A lot of bad football. It's good for the podcast, though.
Yeah, I just would like to win once. One big one.
But, you know, that's not in the cards. I just am forced to watch like Clockwork Orange.
Just have my eyes wide open while I just watch the worst football possible. And you're going to keep doing it.
Yeah, I would actually contend that it'd be better if the Bears were kind of good to make the playoffs. Yeah, no, I have no hopes.
Like being this bad this early is probably, it's good, but it could be better. It's starting to depress me.
Usually I get happy when Big Cat's depressed because it's fun to watch. But now it's just like...
It's funner when it's later than the season. Yeah only yeah he's bringing my football brain down the only thing you can root for at this point with the bears to like see me more miserable is have justin fields be a complete and utter bust and then you're a sick fuck like truly truly a sick fuck because he's a nice guy probably needs to eat some meat right billy probably stop being vegan but you're sick fuck um all right let's do an ad real quick let's talk about the patriots before we get to the patriots want to talk to you about our great friends over at noom we love noom right now i'm trying to lose some weight i think everybody in this room is trying to get in shape right now and noom is the best way to do it it's not just about what you eat it's about your cravings it's about your mindset with no don't need rules to lose weight.
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Sign up for your trial right now at noom.com slash PMT noom.com slash PMT. I don't know if it was because we just did the Bears and I got heated but we're four games in and I'm so I'm sweating so much it's hot as it's hot ass hell in this room right now Pete you piece of shit Pete give the boys some AC it's also 1234 Make a wish.
Make a wish. I wish that Justin Fields wasn't a bust.

I wish the opposite.

Just for the sake of the show.

Hank, Patriots, Saints.

We're going to do the misery of this show.

So, thoughts?

Also an extremely disgusting game to watch.

Zero fun. Mac Jones looked bad.
mcdaniels called a bad game the offensive line was bad james was making james throws that you thought were gonna be intercepted they turned into touchdowns he was just dancing around in the pocket too he's just so funny mac jones had some interceptions one of them wasn't like a couple of them weren't his fault but still it was just bad it was it was it. It was like a...
There was no point during the game where I was like, all right, we have momentum. Can I give you a little glimmer of hope? Sure.
Just look up how many times Belichick's lost two games in a row. Because it's probably not that frequent.
There you go. But who do you guys got next week? It's no one big or good or someone they'd make an Adele commercial about.
That's trying to... They're playing Tom Brady in the box Sunday night.
Oh, let's play our favorite game. Who's the line? Who's the line? Who's the line is it anyway? I'm going to say.
Wait, where's the game? New England. It's in New England.
I'm going to say Bucks by seven and a half. It's actually.
I don't know if it's changed. I'm going to look it up right now.
When Hank and I played Who's the Line Is It Anyway a little earlier today, it was five and a half. It's still five and a half.
I'm going to take the box. Oh, yeah.
I'm going to take the box big time. Oh, yeah.
But just look up. See how many times that Belichick lost two games in a row.
Are you? I cried during that Dell commercial. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
For Tom Brady's homecoming? Like Tony Soprano. Have you gone to that episode? No, I stopped watching after season three.
Saints defense deserves a lot of credit. They played great.
And also the Saints in general deserve a lot of credit because they have not been home for an entire month. They finally get to go home this week because of Hurricane Ida.
They were displaced. So the fact that they're two and one, you know, when they weren't able to be home, they haven't played a home game, they haven't been at their home facility, that's a credit to them.
They also get the Giants to come to the Dome for their first game. So that's another win.
I love it. Jameis Winston continues his MVP tear.
He's throwing for like, we need to look up what his ratio of touchdowns to yards is. I have it.
Oh, you have it? Yeah, yeah. So he has, Jameis Winston is working right now on the most hilarious season ever.
So he has seven touchdowns thrown. He has 387 total yards.
That's incredible. On the season.
That's efficiency right there. That's insane.
That's efficient Jameis. And the one that he had today,

maybe the funniest touchdown pass that I've ever seen Jameis Winston throw.

And that's a stacked field to compete with.

The one where he drops back in the pocket,

he gets rushed from the side,

and it looked like one of his training videos

where they have a dog hanging off of his leg trying to attack him.

And his feet are stuck in buckets.

And he just falls down, throws it over his head like a hook shot,

throws a jump ball. It ends up working.
But I loved it. I loved it.
The full Jameis experience in one play. When he's climbing the pocket and running around the pocket, all of his off-season training makes sense because you can see that Jameis, he's like playing a video game out there where there are no rushers.
There are just uh big giant balls coming at his head and and and like goblins with towels trying to whip him there's that's how he moves in the pocket like oh well like he gets scared a couple times and and kind of jumps back like oh here comes here comes the the robot dog to bite me and he's just i just imagine him playing in a video game we should have memes maybe do that edit where it's just little fucking creatures like trying to grab at him because that's actually how he moves around you know what he looks like not just a video game like if you see somebody playing with the oculus the virtual reality yes james when he drops back in the pocket he looks like he's seeing shit that nobody else is seeing and he's looking in the strangest directions and ducking underneath invisible things and almost falling down. Oculus QB.
Yeah, he's the Oculus QB before he ever throws a pass. It's so funny.
He's the best. He really is.
We knew that Peyton was going to troll Bill Belichick by putting Taysom Hill into the game. And he did.
And getting him a touchdown. That was a no-brainer.
Just being like, you know that you wish you had this

as your quarterback right now.

It's like Belichick's wet dream, like a more athletic

Tim Tebow. We got him.
You don't.

He kind of sealed the game. They had that long drive

where he just iced the clock.

Army slash Navy drive.

I haven't heard anybody refer to

Taysom as a Swiss Army knife recently.

Have we moved past that point? I think so.

He's grittier than a Swiss Army. They're just not playing in primetime.
Yeah. They got a lot of Drew Brees primetime.
Joey Tess will definitely call him that. He's more American than a Swiss Army knife.
He's duct tape. Yeah.
That's the U.S. equivalent.
No, he's Flex Seal. Flex Seal.
Yeah. You're riding around in an invisible boat.
Go ahead. A Leatherman.
A Leatherman. Oh, that's a Leatherman.
Nice. Good call, the Leatherman.
So where are we at with Mac Jones meter? I mean, I think this is a theme on this show, and I think it's okay to say it. It's like, hey, some games are just rookie QB games, you know? Yeah, I mean, it was a struggle.
I feel like the first two games, he had them in a position to win against the Dolphins. He didn't play great.
But they still should have won that game. They beat the Jets.
This was just bad. This was just a bad game.
Need to bounce back. I feel like, in my heart, that it's just like there's going to be so many emotions next week that the Bucs are just going to absolutely destroy a rookie quarterback with that much emotion in Gillette.
So if he can play okay and they can even... That's the thing.
There's just no signs of... There's no great signs.
There's no great throws. There's no good drives.
They didn't get a first down until the second quarter. They just need to show...
He needs to show something. Give me something.
Can you please remind me, Hank? Actually, Jake, remind me when we do Friday's show. Don't let me talk myself into Belichick having some crazy thing that he's going to unveil to stop Tom Brady.
Because that's really the only reason you'd bet on the Patriots, right? And you could talk yourself into that. I will.
Right. But I feel, my gut feeling is like the Bucs are going to beat them by 30.
Can I have this water? It's more. It's less Belichick.
This office is like we're in a sauna. You know what today is? Today is just hell.
We're stuck in hell today. I've already gone through one full water.
Go ahead. It's less Belichick.
It's more just like that big of a game, and Tom Brady is not going to be phased by it as much, and Mac Jones very much is Yeah. Alright, but rookie quarterback.
Just say that. Rookie quarterback.
Bumps along the way. And the NFC sucks.
Yeah, but credit to the Saints. They've been the fact they're 2-1.
Their defense looks really good. And Jameis, we love Jameis forever.
Working on the greatest season of all time. I hope he ends up with 30 touchdowns and 1,200 yards.
I mean, it's fun to watch him succeed. You know what? It's fun to watch Jameis have fun.
Yes, exactly. Winning football from Jameis Winston.
Alright, next up Chargers Chiefs. PFT, if you're okay with me I'd like to speak on behalf of you and myself real quick to the audience.
Of course. I think that as a podcast and myself and speaking for my co-host PFT, we under any circumstances, we would never, ever, ever make fun of a coach who has a health issue after a big loss.
No. So we want to say that Andy Reed, we hope you get better.
We hope you feel better. Anyone who would ever say like, oh, this guy lost and then he immediately had a health issue.
You're disgusting. I'd like to just add one word to that.
I would never, ever say anything bad ever about a head coach who had a real health condition after a game. And so Andy Reid, thoughts and prayers to you.
We would never do it. We would never, ever do it.
Ever. Ever do it.
But yeah, that broke my heart a little bit to see Andy Reid. I would actually go as far as to say it broke my back, and I kind of laid down on the sideline the court that was named after me.
That wasn't a specific... I'm not talking about anything specific.
No. Are you happy, Coach K? Yeah.
You blew Big Cat's back out. Mm-hmm.
You did. Coach K did? No, no, no.
We're not talking about anything specific. No.
Are you happy, Coach K? You blew Big Cat's back out. You did.
Coach K did? No, no, no. We're not talking about Coach K.
We're just wishing Andy Reid well. Did you just throw in a dip during the show? No.
That's late. Let's just fucking get crazy.
It's 1242. Yeah, but Andy Reid, we hope you're...
We want Andy Reid to be better. Can I add one thing just to the game? I'll speak for you the on the stuff that happened in between the lines that patrick mahomes interception maybe his best throw of all time hey maybe you should look at your receiver well he hit his receiver was a little bit behind him but people were freaking out and saying like oh my god this no look throw i actually i i had i made a list um the best interceptions of the week.
Patrick Mahomes, number one.

Mack Jones had a pretty good interception. I think it bounced off his receiver's hands.
And then Big Ben's interception. They threw directly to the linebacker.
You're forgetting a huge one. No, you're forgetting a huge one.
Graham Mertz's first pick six that got everyone the over. Okay, there you go.
Not his second pick six. That's a good interception.
That got the alternate over. Yes.
Yeah. It's not good when you throw an interception on a no-look pass because then suddenly, and yeah, it did kind of hit the receiver in his hands, which you should catch it, right, Hank? That wasn't even his best interception on the day, actually.
Yeah, no, he was bad. That was a game.
That was a weird glitch in the Xbox game where you're like, wait, how did I lose this game? Because the Chiefs don't lose that game, and Patrick Mahomes doesn't throw those interceptions, yet they did, and guess what? The big story coming from this weekend is the Kansas City Chiefs are now in sole possession of last place in the AFC West. Damn, that's what everyone's talking about right now.
That is what everyone is talking about. That leads the podcast.
The Chargers, these Chargers can win the Super Bowl. These Chargers are fucking awesome.
I love, no. Although I'd still like to see them not become a completely different offense every time they get in the red zone.
Don't doubt them just yet. And when you say offense in the red zone, a lot of that has to do with just running illegal shifts before the play is snapped.
And then they score a touchdown. It gets taken off the board but joe lombardi is going to be a head coach if the chargers continue this which kind of sucks for them because right when their offense becomes awesome right uh they're going to lose their offensive coordinator down the road but uh keenan allen we should respect we should take time on this podcast yes keenan allen because nobody ever mentions him in the list of the top five receivers in the NFL.
And he is. And he's been a top five guy.
When healthy, he's been a top five guy for probably the last six years. And Brandon Staley, you get a lot of credit because you coach to your competition.
Whenever we talk about analytics and going for it, people you know there is no right answer every single time the smart people are like hey it you don't just play the numbers you play your competition as well well guess what his competition is patrick mahomes fourth and four from the 30 they ended up getting a five-yard penalty but fourth and four from the 30 with like 59 seconds left or something they go for it because like if we kick a field goal here they're just going to come down the field and kick a field goal or score a touchdown and beat us so i think that gets that deserves a ton of credit they it ended up being a fourth and nine from the 35 they get a pass interference call they score a touchdown ends the game like that's how you play against the chiefs you know that if you kick a field goal late to go up three,

if you give, just like we saw with Aaron Rodgers,

you can't win the game like that.

At best, you're going to go to overtime.

So I want to give him credit.

He deserves credit.

That's kind of a ballsy move, and he did it.

It was ballsy.

I thought it was insane.

I thought that he was going crazy.

I liked it.

When it worked, it was awesome.

I thought it was crazier that he did that than what he did at the end of that drive where instead of just taking some knees and kicking a field goal, he tried to score. I get that.
He wanted to score a touchdown. That's fine.
You never know with the Chargers. You can't trust your kicking game.
So you know how they have the line that they put up, the graphic they put up on the drive where it's red and says, here's your target line to get there to make a game-winning field goal. They should never have that line for Chargers or Vikings games.
The line should be one yard into the end zone. And for the Ravens, it should be the entire field.
Yes, the entire field should be the red. You're in the red zone.
But, yeah, I like the fact that he went for the touchdown at the end. I know he left Mahomes some time on the clock.
Then he threw a nasty pick at the end. But the fourth and nine, you know what we're doing right now? We're cheering that because it worked.
If it didn't work, then they've got 20 yards to kick a field goal and win. I'm cheering that because not only are you doing who your competition is in the Chiefs, but also you're doing it in the first slate of games where if it fucks up, it won't be the main story going into Monday.
That's very true. If it's Sunday night and you do that and it doesn't work, you get roasted.
So time and place, smart time and place, and the Chargers, that's a huge, huge win. And I think the Chiefs are going to be fine, but it does clearly look right now like they're not humming on all cylinders.
They're not 100%. Although they do have another guy that we have to learn.
I got pissed off during this game because Mahomes threw a touchdown pass to Jody, what's his name, Jody Fortin? Sure, Fortnite. Jody Fortnight.
And so now, okay, he's got another huge guy that he can throw Jody Fortson every dad in the Kansas City area is going to call him Jody Fortnight so now we have he can pass to Hill he can pass to Kelsey Robinson, Hardman, Pringle and now he's got another guy, Fortnight that we have to learn Clyde Edwards-Hilaire is awesome and Clyde Edwards-Hilaire is really good too and he's not fumbling the ball so that's another, that we have to learn. And Clyde Edwards-Hilaire is awesome, too.
And Clyde Edwards-Hilaire is really, really good, too, and he's not fumbling the ball. So that's another guy that we have to just mentally prepare to hear his name called out when we least expect it on like a 70-yard touchdown pass.
Yep, yep. But yeah, the Chiefs are, I don't want to say broken.
No. No, because you know what? They barely lost the Ravens.
They had chances to win this game. They kind of just started very slow.
I'm going to say the Chiefs are sleepwalking through the first quarter of the season. And I think that's fine.
I think they'll figure it out. They'll figure it out eventually.
But the Chargers, I still think, are going to win that division. Yeah, and with the only one team getting a bye, you can of like you can't really sleepwalk for much longer than this you know what i mean i don't think i'd have to look at like the entire afc but like i mean what what 13 and 4 is probably the buy like the threshold 12 and 5 doesn't feel like a buy number 13 and 4 feels like the buy that's out i numbers are new.
But 13-4 means... With 18 weeks, you can now split the season into sixths.
Oh. I don't like that.
I don't like that. Yeah, it's too many.
I got to start doing denominators now. Let's just say 13-4 is the magic number for the bye.
The Chiefs now have to go 12-2. Which they can do.
Which they can do, but it's also a lot less of a room for error.

They're going to lose probably one of the Raiders,

and Gruden's going to be like, give me another contract,

and the Raiders will lose every game afterwards.

Andy, just don't come back too soon.

Andy, you know what you can do?

Again, we would never make fun of a coach.

Let Andy Reid do the thing where he coaches the game from the hospital bed that's in the suite, that set up. The old Liberty, his name's scooted at my, what's his name? Help me.
Hugh Freeze. There we go, Hugh Freeze.
Yeah, let Andy Reid do the Hugh Freeze thing, where he coaches from a very, maybe a nice lazy boy recliner. Do you think that Coach K called Andy Reid and was like, hey, you know, technically it's your legal right that you can make Eric Biennemi eat that loss.
That should be 0-1 head coach Eric Biennemi. I think he probably did.
He's probably just like, hey, I just want to give you a tip. Hope you're feeling better.
But just so you know, every loss for the rest of the season, you don't have to take on your record. I think Coach K has like a set amount of fruit baskets that he can send out that have a note in them that say that.

And anytime a coach has a health care,

he just tells his assistant,

hey, just send a basket out.

Yeah, but this year it has a note on it.

It's like, hey, just a reminder,

I'm retiring this year if you want to send me something back.

Right.

It's like, yeah, it's like Derek Jeter for coaches getting injured.

Yes.

What?

You get too much dip in your mouth,

so you can't even reply.

I don't dip.

All right.

Falcons Giants, Arthur Smith's beard.

Let's fucking go.

Looks great.

Guy's got a beard.

He's 1-0 with the beard.

The chin is not there, but it's less not there.

He called it a get-a-win beard.

Yeah.

And you know what?

It worked, and you can't shave it now.

No.

You can't because...

Not that there's anything wrong with your normal beard.

Thank you. less not there.
He called it a get a win beard. Yeah.
And you know what? It worked and you can't shave it now. No.
You can't because not that there's anything wrong with your normal. No, his chin is totally normal.
His normal chin, which is regular, but you can't argue with results. You can't shave in the middle of a winning streak.
We call that an Uncle Chaps. Yep.
Can't do that. Well, he got creamed by Boris.
Yes. Yeah, so that was not his.
He got creamed. Yeah.
Want me to cream you?

That's what he told us.

All-time ugly picture.

But yeah, congrats to Arthur Smith.

Getting that first win.

It's tough to win in this league. It's tough to win in this league.

Every win should be celebrated, even if it's over the Giants.

I do want to say that we should probably get a share of this win

because we are the ones that motivated him to get the beard,

that got him the win. So credit us uh good job coach the chin totally normal chin but also a lot more normal when you have a beard that you're growing in i can't wait till the beard gets a little bit fuller so that we can actually tell him what to shave it into so yes it's like a nice lance it's like a a new lawn that's growing in right now, and we get to landscape it.
Yeah. I think the mid-90s relief pitcher Van Dyke goatee would look pretty good on our Smith.
He needs to get a little bit more hair going, because right now I think there's a little salt and pepper maybe going on. It almost looks like a tub of chive cream cheese, where it's like there's some kind of weird shit in your cream cheese.
Not that his chin normally looks like a tub of cream cheese, but that would be something I'd just throw out there to say. Like a big shredded coconut.
Yeah, like, what's in this cream cheese? I don't know. Is this salmon? What's going on here? That's kind of what he's going with right now.
Well, I think he looks great. Yeah.
And he should keep it up. Yeah, and who doesn't love cream cheese? No.
Especially on your chin. I love cream cheese.
Yeah. It's the best.
Melting off of your, well, not chin. Not melting.
Well, and also he doesn't really have a chin for it to melt off of. I'd say it's frozen cream cheese.
Melting off of his lips where the chin should be. Okay.
But he got to win. He got to win.
We love Arthur Smith. He's going to come on this show.
We fucking love the guy. The big story coming out of this game was actually post-game.
Yeah. The Giants owner, John Mara.
Uh-oh. Mr.
Mr. Excuse me.
Mr. Can you delete that? Mr.
Mara. Thank you.
Delete. Yeah.
Bleep out the word John, please. Giants owner, Mr.
Mara, knocked over a trash can. Two trash cans.
By accident or he's old? No. the initial report in the New York Post, it said, Mara seemingly knocks over a trash can in frustration after the game.
Taunting. I looked at the picture.
It was two small trash cans that he knocked over. Like, how small? That's a pattern.
How small? Slightly bigger than Daniel Jones' hand. Shin height? They look to be like hip height.

Oh, okay.

Those are decent size trash cans.

No one wants to see that big guy.

No.

No one.

Again, taunting.

Yeah, fine him.

Fine his ass.

Throw him out of the game.

Yeah, no, I think the Giants, I think Joe Judge might be losing the team.

I mean, they're just not good.

I don't really know.

You can't even point to one specific thing in this game.

A couple guys got hurt. I think Darius Slayton was out of the game.
Evan Ingram fumbled. When they needed to play good defense, Matty Ice, who, shout out Matty Ice, he is now tied with Matt Stafford.
39 game-winning drives. Wow.
39. It's pretty good.
I thought it was really indicative that they were able to go out there and lay this egg even on Eli night. It was Eli Day at the ballpark.
They put him in the ring of honor. They thought they could get a win.
They couldn't even get the team going for Eli Manning. You know what I mean? They should have tied for Eli.
That would have been the best, a tie on Eli Day. The worst part about this game for Giants fans is like, Daniel Jones didn't fumble.
He didn't throw any interceptions, I don't think. No.
Like, there wasn't any comically terrible Joe Judge decision. They just aren't good.
Saquon got hurt, too? Yeah, they just aren't good. I don't know if Saquon...
He's not healthy. He's not 100%.
Yeah. Because I think he left the game for treatment mid-game,game which tells me probably shouldn't have been playing right to begin with right but yeah they're just the Giants just kind of stink yeah they're just not good they're just not a good football team but the Giants are also the the team that I think when they won both their Super Bowls I think they started 0-2 or 0-3 both those seasons there you go you can always talk about that.
Remember last week we talked about how Matt Ryan's a professional quarterback at this point? Or what did we say? I said I was sad. Well, no, yeah, we said we were sad at week one.
No, I was sad week two. Yeah, I was sad week one.
But he just like that drive he had when they're down 14-7,

that was just like, hey, Matt Ryan, he still is better than average. I think he's slightly better than average.
In a perfect set of circumstances with all the stars and planets aligning just perfectly, Matt Ryan can be a good quarterback. But usually these days he's sad.
other note I had is, like, I feel like in 15 years we'll still watch Corderell Patterson on a new team being used, like, you know, out of the backfield and being like, whoa, this is awesome. As a running back.
Holy shit. Like, how could they stop this? Yes, that's never going to stop.
It's never, ever going to stop. And he's still fast.
Yeah. He is fast.
Very fast.

You want to speak of sad quarterbacks? Bengals, Steelers. Bengals, 24.
Steelers, 10. We have to talk about this.
So this is bad. It's like watching your dog get old.
It's bad, man. It's really bad.
It's sad to watch. He can't go down the steps when the elevator's out.
He's still like, he'll still have a couple moments every day where he'll like wag his tail and run around and you're like, oh, this is fun. Yeah.
But yeah, watching Big Ben play football at this time. And you know what the worst part is? Like even if you look at his, he had two interceptions.
One was so, so bad where he was like tripping over himself. He did trip over himself a different play, but this one he tripped over himself and threw an interception to a linebacker that was standing, not really covering anyone, like five feet in front of him.
Yeah, the linebacker was about to turn around and look for somebody to cover because he wasn't doing anything. Here, you take this.
Yeah. Maybe he's colorblind like an old dog.
I don't know was it was like right sorry bubba it was right into his chest i have a fun side note bubba story i could share one real quick okay uh bubba texted me on saturday and he was like hey could you uh if you see see shane gillis he's one of my favorite comedians at the game today uh tell him what's up and i was like oh okay cool like shane gillis like he is a very funny comedian he's got a new special out i'll definitely tell him what's up so i go and i look shane gillis like his instagram stories he was at the texas game the texas texas tech game he was at a football he was at a foot he was walking out and there was a there was a there was a painted end zone uh-huh but because baba doesn't know colors he was like well i don't know he's at the like, he's in the state of Texas. I was in Chicago, Illinois.
The end zones there were red, right? Orange and red are pretty close. It's a dark orange in Texas.
I was like, Bubba, he's not. We're in very different states.
Might have been high as well. Neither here nor there.
I'm colorblind. All right, sorry.
Sadness and Big Ben. I'm just sad.
I'm sad watching him. That one where he fell down as he was trying to throw, he was trying to take two steps to his right and throw a pass, and he just fell down.
He looked like a toddler trying to drive a car. It's tough to watch him out there.
He should play with a life alert. He should.
He actually should play with a life alert attached to his waist because I really do think one of these times he's going to fall down and not be able to get back up. Well, you can't bench him if you're the Steelers, right? Or can...
All right, so that's the thing. People are mad at...
He still threw for 300 yards and he had 38 completions. But if you watch the game, it's so bad.
I think people are now mad at Mike Tomlin for not benching Ben. For not making him retire.
Yeah, but if you're Mike Tomlin, can you really tell Ben? I guess Mike Tomlin would probably be the guy that could do it. Where's that guy who said that Big Ben would be closer to MVP than...
What insane person are you... Remember that reporter who was talking about Big Ben's diet? Oh, yeah.
I wouldn't be surprised if he's closer to MVP than... What insane person are you...
Remember that reporter who was talking about Big Ben's diet? Oh, yeah. He's like, I wouldn't be surprised if he's closer to MVP than bottom of the league.
No, he looked very sad today. Also, TJ Watt is...
Turns out TJ Watt, very, very important because the Steelers snapped their streak of 75 straight games with a sack. They didn't record a sack.
He matters a lot. And Joe Burrow looked good.
Efficient day. You look good, and Jamar Chase looks awesome.
He trolled us. In single coverage.
What's up? Jamar Chase trolled us. It was officially.
Oh, yeah. Officially official.
Jamar Chase can catch football still. He was fucking with us.
Great job, Jamar. You played us.
We looked good. No, we knew.
We kind of knew. You can't you can't fuck with us that uh but yeah he trolled us and when he's in single coverage on the outside you might as well just blitz that cornerback because nobody's proven that they can run with him and also out jump him in the end zone because whenever they run that nine route it's just it's cash every single time yes oh it's cash jamar could slip that one by us.
Jamar Chase Bank. It's cash.
Tomlin threw a dump off on 4th and 10. I had that as a note.
I just wanted to note that you just said it's cash. It's straight cash, homie.
As a 36-year-old man, you said it's cash. It was cash.
Yeah. It was cash.
And by the way, fuck you guys for the nephew thing. Snoop Dogg says nephew all the time.
It's cash. I've heard Snoop Dogg can't stop saying nephew ever since you guys made fun of me for it.
That was the... I thought you said cousin.
No. That was the...
You didn't say the right word. No, I said nephew.
I said nephew. Steve Buscemi gif.
That's you saying it's cash. It's cash.
It's cash. But yeah, the Bengals look good and the Steelers are very sad.
And you know what? It's going to get worse for the Steelers before it gets better because they have to play at the Packers versus the Broncos versus the Seahawks at the Browns. I have a question for you about Steelers fans.
How long is it until Steelers fans boo Big Ben? I don't think ever. I really don't.
I think that's actually the beauty of Steelers fans is they'll never. They respect.
They respect. They respect what Ben has done.
No, they respect. They're mad.
No, you're wrong. They're mad.
I don't think they can. I don't think they can.
I think they'll just play out this season, be sad about it, and hope the defense gets them to nine or ten wins in a playoff exit and then just move on. Because if T.J.
Watt comes back, their defense is still very good. Their defense could be good with T.J.
Watt back, but I don't know if they're going to get to the playoffs. And I think that they're starting to turn on Big Ben a little bit.
I'm not saying that they're going to boom next week. Wait, there's a difference, though.
The week after next. There's a big difference between turning on him on Twitter where he has everyone blocked and it doesn't really matter.
No, he unblocked everybody.

But in real life, there's no way that people will say shit about Big Ben on Twitter and they will not say it to his face.

They will not boo him.

You can say it from the crowd.

That would be disgusting.

I expect more out of Pittsburgh.

I think they might.

They respect football.

They respect the game.

I think they might.

If Big Ben comes back next year, they will definitely boo him.

If he comes back next year and the Browns should just change the locks.

Oh, very good. You know what Joe Mixon is? He's a professional.
He's a consummate pro. When the Bengals can run the ball, their offense looks better than competent.
And they're 2-1.

The Bengals are 2-1.

Yep.

That's significant.

I'm just looking.

Week 4, 5, 6, the Steelers play Sunday Night Football.

That will be very sad.

At home?

Seahawks, yeah.

Yeah, that's going to be very sad.

All right, next up. Cardinals-Jaguars, another rookie quarterback, Billy.
Hashtag Billy was right again. Trevor Lawrence, bust.
I think in the environment he currently is in, it's very hard for him to success. Oh, you've softened it.
I like this. Okay.
But, yeah, I don't see him doing too well. Do you know what always sucks when your rookie quarterback is struggling and then you try to run a flea flicker and then he throws an interception from the flea flicker? It looks especially dumb.
Off his back foot. Yeah, it looks especially dumb.
He wasn't even going for the big throw on the flea flicker. No, he was going for the check down.
It was like a 20-yard flea flicker back foot interception. Yeah, so bad.
That was really bad to see. The Jaguars got the kick six, though.
They got the kick six. That was electric.
Urban Meyer was right. It's like playing against Alabama every week.
Every week. Every single week.
The Jaguars are the number one, how did they not cover this game team of the week? Because they were up 19-10 with three minutes left in the third quarter, and they lose 31-19. That's hard to do, and they did it.
The Cardinals did not play very well. They made the plays when they needed to.
Also, the Cardinals, I think every week we're just going to be like, damn, I forgot the Cardinals have this guy. A.J.
Green had 112 yards. DeAndre Hopkins didn't have – they focused their defense on deandre hopkins but they still have aj how did the nfl let aj green become a super teams i don't know it's it is a super team right bullshit that's where everyone's going is out to the desert shout out to chandler jones who has not had a single sack since he got five sacks in week one damn i love that do you just like build it it's like a salesperson working on commission yeah you get you hit your quota yeah and then you get to coast for a few weeks free roll you can you can get by for probably like nine or ten games yeah on those five sacks yeah as long as you're still in the mathematical realm of like getting to double digits on the year people will totally forget anything you've done past that five seconds make one video and you're like I'm good for a month there you go that's like that's kind of the content game equivalent um yeah uh it was nice trevor lawrence had nice td throw but yeah the jags are i mean so actually let's do the broncos right now too because what like worst team in the nfl is it is it the jaguars or is it the jets i think it's the jets i think Jets.
I think it's the Jets. But the crazy thing is, I think these Jets would be favored by a point over last year's Jets.
I don't know. If they played on a neutral site.
How's Sam Darnold playing? Is he playing like this Sam Darnold or that Sam Darnold? He's playing like that Sam Darnold. Got it.
And they're playing at the Meadowlands, but it's a Giants home crowd. But you know that that Sam Darnold has this Sam Darnold somewhere inside of him.
Inside of him. But who knows what this Zach Wilson has inside of him? We don't know yet.
Nothing. Nothing.
Nothing. Mr.
INT. Billy.
Yeah, that was a tough scene today with Mr. INT.
But I think he is actually improving. How? Yeah.
Well, give us ways. He threw two INTs today? Right.
So yeah, he's twice as good as he was last week. Exactly.
You tweeted that it was an improvement from last week. It was.
It was in certain respects. I'll give you an improvement.
It was less interceptions. He's starting to look a little bit older, because I think the Jets age people at a rapid, rapid pace, like presidential years or dog years.
Now he looked like a high schooler. Now he looks like a PG high schooler.
Right. If he stays on the Jets for another two years, he's going to look like he's 40.
So that's good. No, but I mean he ran the team well.
He kept the... What? He took the sack.
He scored zero points. He ran the team well.
They haven't scored a touchdown since week one. You're not listening.
I know, but he ran the team well. Instead of throwing picks, he was taking sacks.
So he's making better decisions. He managed his mistakes better.
Exactly. Do you think they're the worst team in the NFL? Well, their defense was pretty good today, if you look at it.
Okay. Like, they were— I mean, yeah.
Their third down percentage was actually, like, super high for stopping. Okay.
One third down. And in the red zone, I think they stopped the Broncos.
There was a fumble. Twice.
Yeah. Two, five in the red zone.
So, if their offense could start putting together drives and stop putting so much pressure on the defense, I think they could actually get in some close games, like win some games. I'm looking at a picture of him right now.
He doesn't look like a high schooler anymore. No, I'm telling you, the Jets have aged him.
He looks like a guy that's playing a high schooler in a movie. Yeah, he is.
That's an extra at least three years. We found the antidote to the Mormon youth, like A.C.
Green the like ac green he wasn't mormon i don't think but the he's just a virgin yeah the guys who don't drink or have sex they are going to look younger for the rest of their life the jets are the antidote for that you put them on the jets it's like going on a million benders and fucking a a thousand hookers tim tebow still the jets are good though yeah but yeah you're right you're right. He looks like he's seen some shit in just the last couple weeks.
Is that mine? No, that was me. But their offensive line actually looks pretty decent.
It just doesn't have anyone to throw to. No, it doesn't look decent.
I think it looks terrible. But most of his sacks were him taking too long in the pocket.
Okay. So he holds on to the ball too long.
Right. I think it's the wide receiver.
So you're saying better to hold on to the ball too long than throw an interception. Right.
What about getting the ball out on time? Well, I don't think the wide receivers are open. Okay.
That's why I think it is. We're working on that.
Yeah. I mean, listen, we're all going, or many of us on this podcast are going through rookie quarterback woes.
Right. We need to support each other.
Exactly. And be like, hey, you know what? What you just said, that makes sense.
Also, I think it's the wide receiver core that needs to. They're putting too much pressure on Zach Wilson to make all the plays.
Okay. Yeah.
Okay. If you're not getting separation.
And then when he does make a throw, like the one to Braxton Barrios. He's trying to make something happen, and he's just making interceptions happen.
Yeah, you've got to catch it.

You've got to help out your rookie quarterback when he does make a good throw.

Exactly.

Eight quarters, six points.

The last eight quarters, Jets have six points.

In the three games this year, they have 20 points total and 15 sacks.

So this will be a fun race to see points or sacks.

Which one are the Jets going to have more of by the end of the year?

So the Broncos are 3-0.

You know what they might be?

They might be my fool's gold team.

The Broncos.

Might be.

They've played.

3-0, and they've played teams that between the three of them

have not won a game yet.

Yeah, the Jets, the Jaguars, and the Giants, the Broncos have played.

That is, who do they have next?

Because that, like, oh, the Ravens. Ravens, Steelers, Raiders, Browns.
Yeah, I mean, I think they're okay because their defense is good, and I do love Vic Fangio and Teddy Bridgewater. I mean, all he does is win games.
Right now, Teddy Bridgewater is 54 for 70, 592 yards and four touchdowns.

That's crazy efficient.

3-0 against the spread this year.

77% completion.

Teddy Bridgewater, give him some flowers.

But yeah, no, they've played the worst teams.

If they could just find a way to schedule the Bears and I don't know,

who else is a really bad team?

So the Texans are not good?

Yeah, the Texans and the Bears. Throw them in there.
The Texans, Bears, Jaguars. They played the Jaguars already.
The rest of the NFC Beast. We got some more wins there.
Sorry. What does that mean? Dallas and Philly, of course.
Yeah, there you go. Love it.
Yeah, if you can play the NFC East and the AFC South, you'll have a good year. That's the trick.
All right. Dolphins, Raiders.
Jake, you're up. Jacoby Brissett's not bad.
Yeah. I mean, this was a game that you see on paper.
All right. No Tua.
Cross country. Probably.
No, I think that's a positive, by the way. No Tua.
Oh. You've been on that train since.
I mean, the camp of Jacoby Brissett is not a step down from Tua. Yeah, so they started off hot.

Yes.

And then the Raiders got a safety and it kind of unraveled from there.

Safety just fuck everything up.

I actually think this is a game that the Raiders would lose by 21

in late October or early November.

Once Gruden has really gotten his hands on the team for a few months

and they start to tune him out a little bit.

But credit to the Raiders.

They went down and they didn't let it get away from them. But yeah, last year's Raiders, especially towards the end, they would get smoked.
They would be demoralized by that start. I got a stat for you for Raiders fans out there.
The Raiders are the first team in NFL history to start a season 3-0, beating all teams that won 10 games the previous season. At least 10, right? At least 10.
The Ravens, Dolphins, and the Steelers. It's crazy that the Dolphins won 10 games last year.
It's crazy the Steelers did, too. They had a crazy Saturday night game.
Yeah, they were the best 11-0 team of all time. This game last year in Vegas was a crazy Saturday night.
Yeah, Fitzpatrick throw. Yeah mean, the Dolphins fought.
I still don't understand what they were doing running two, not one, but two Wildcat plays from the goal line. Just end it.
Stop. Wildcat is over.
It had its moment. Just stop.
I still kind of like it. It's so stupid.
It's so dumb. In college, yes.
In NFL, it makes no it makes no sense yeah everyone knows how to defend in the nfl it was funny at the end of overtime too when the raiders so the raiders kick a field goal dolphins come back kick a field goal raiders get the ball again they go down the field and john gruden did not want to kick a field goal to win he doesn't trust kickers he doesn't like kickers he wants to score touchdowns yep and he tried and then they're running out of time and then he said you know what fuck it let's take it down to two seconds kick a field goal. I was hoping score a touchdown.
And he tried, and then they were running out of time, and then he said, you know what, fuck it, let's take it down to two seconds, kick a field goal. I was hoping for a tie.
A tie would have been great in this game. I was going insane because I was listening to it in the car, and Brent Musburger does the Raiders radio broadcast, and he so clearly had bet on the Raiders.
So he just was openly being like, go for a touchdown, go for a touchdown.

And his co-host was like, well, the smart play here would be run off the clock

and kick the field goal.

And Brent finally was just like, we're in Vegas.

Yeah.

And his co-host was like, oh, I see what you're saying.

Yeah, we want a touchdown.

Yeah, Al Davis didn't say just tie, baby.

Yeah, it was just driving me nuts because I had the Dolphins.

I was like, shut up, Brent.

It felt like it was going to push them to score.

I had the Raiders.

I was doing the Brent Musburger myself.

I don't know. Yeah, Al Davis didn't say just tie, baby.
Yeah, it was just driving me nuts because I had the Dolphins. I was like, shut up, Brent.
It felt like it was going to push them to score. I had the Raiders.
I was doing the Brent Musburger myself. I love Brent.
I feel like that's a Jim Calhoun-like retirement. You retire from the big broadcast, but you're still broadcasting, saying in Vegas, Calhoun's still coaching.
Yeah, just yelling about point spreads. And I know that it's such a ridiculous thing to get mad about, but if you have something opposite of the announcer and he's saying, I want to go for a touchdown, I was screaming at my radio like, shut up, Brent.
Kick a field goal. I was just going to say, are we all in on Derek Carr? Because it's like Derek Carr and Kirk Cousins are in a game of chicken to see who's going to turn into a pumpkin first.
Yeah, so let's talk about Kirk Cousins. But I'm not...
I am... If it were a pool, if Derek Carr were a pool, I have my shirt still on, but I'm sitting on the edge with both my feet in.
Okay. Fair? Yeah.
If Kirk Cousins is a pool, I'm in the shallow end. I'm shooting a basket at the poolside basket thing up to my thighs in water.
If Kirk comes to the pool, I'm standing at the edge and I'm peeing in it without even going in the pool. And everyone in the pool is like, ew, why are you doing that? I'm like, because I don't really like the guy.
Nice guy. I like him.
Nice guy. I just think that if you buy too hard into Kirk Cousins, you're setting yourself up for ultimate disappointment.
If you buy too hard into Kirk Cousins, you'll be in the one pool that's ever been created where if you pee, it actually shows up as ink. Yeah, no, at the side of Kirk Cousins' pool, it says 10 feet, and then you dive into it, and it turns out that it's two feet deep and you break your neck.
That's correct. Kirk Cousins, though, he's efficient.
They won the game. This Viking Seahawks game also proved a very important point for all GMs in the NFL.
If your backup physically and hairstyle looks like your starter, he'll be just as good. Because what's his name? Alexander Madison was awesome.
He looks like Dalvin Cook. I've always believed that, definitely with the dreads.
Yeah. Yeah, 100%.
They look the same. And they ran the same offense that they do.
They didn't really skip a beat, and Madison played pretty well today. And they absolutely killed the clock in the second half.
So first half, Vikings came out. They scored some good touchdowns.
They had some solid drives. Kirk Cousins, I think, threw, what, three touchdowns in the first half? Second half, the Vikings had the ball for 22 minutes and 40 seconds out of the 30 minutes in the second half.
So it's tough to beat them when they have the ball the entire time. And it's what we've always said with Kirk Cousins.
When Kirk Cousins has a running game to even everything out and he doesn't have to stand in the pocket and get sacked and look super short, he can be a competent quarterback. quarterback so here it is we're telling you right now kirk cousins can be a competent quarterback but be careful kirk cousins are a car be careful yes we don't want to see you get hurt jump in feet first yeah don't go ahead first the vikings are a weird team though because they really are like two plays away from being three and oh they're the best oh and two team they wanted the best yeah yeah we're the best oh and two team in the the NFL.
But the conversation about them is so different if they're 3-0 right now. It's real close, yeah.
The Seahawks are broken again. Stop me if you heard this before, but the Seahawks are broken.
So, Seahawks this season first half, 21 points second half, 7 points first half, second half six points first half 17 points second half zero points to add it all up in the first halves this season they've scored 62 points in the second halves this season they scored 13 that's pretty remarkable they need more conditioning work that's a stark difference that's where your coach would tell you back in high school and middle school if you got outscored in the second half you just got to run more yeah so pete carroll just just make them run more yeah that's it it's a simple fix at this point but that feels broken it does feel broken i i actually don't think that pete carroll is a very good head coach from an x's nose standpoint obviously from like game management he can be okay sometimes recruiting recruiting his recruits houses exactly yeah his his credit. Yeah, his credit score is really good, but as far as X's and O's type stuff goes, he gets a lot of credit for winning that Super Bowl, which they dominated with an all-time defense.
I don't think he's that great of a head coach. Yeah, I mean, you can definitely make the case for it.
He's a big culture guy, and he does he does set up a good culture. Culture does matter.
And the Seahawks have been pretty good, but they've also had Russell Wilson on their team since 2012, which that certainly helps a lot. But I don't know what, like, I never understood if you are that good coming to start the game and maybe it's the first 15 plays, just run it again.
Run the first 15 plays again. Or run it in reverse.
Yeah, they'll forget. Yeah, right.
Do you think another team would actually pick up on the fact that you're running the same 15 plays in the same order? I don't think so. I don't think so.
I don't think they would. A coach should at least try it.
Also, before the game, they sprinkled fake snow on the field to get the fans feeling like real Minnesota pride. Ragnar would have absolutely torn up.
He would have done donuts on the snow. Oh, shit.
Ragnar. Yeah.
R.I.P. All right, last game, and then we'll get to Football Guys of the Week and who's back.
Bucs, Rams, Matt Stafford. Has he arrived? Stafford is like i think he's the mvp he's having his moment he is i actually feel really good about my take my long-standing take that matt stafford is going to be in the hall of fame seeing matt stafford go out there and beat tom brady like this that was like twisting the knife on lions fans too yeah the lions they always have to have one guy on the team who would win MVP if he was on a really good team.
Yes, he was awesome. I looked it up.
So Matt Stafford's 33 years old right now. Let's say he just plays, let's call it four years, which could be more, but four years.
If he goes 4,000 yards and 35 touchdowns in the next four years, he will end up top eight all-time in passing yards and top five all-time in touchdowns. It varies because there's some current guys who are still obviously playing that are ahead of him, but I don't know.
If he can make the missing piece for him is playoff success. If he can make a Super Bowl, if he can make a couple NFC Championship games, I don't know.
Matt Stafford's going to have a case. He's a good quarterback.
If you're out there saying Big Cat, those numbers sound pretty high. Well, guess what? There's 17 games now.
Yeah. Are those including playoff games? No, but that's not like a...
No, I don't think it includes playoff games. I mean, he averages more than 4,000 yards a season.
Maybe it's a little bit high on the touchdowns, but that's not like a crazy season for him. So when you said 33 years old, I was like, holy shit.
I would think that Matt Stafford is like 36, 37 years old just based on what he's been through and all the injuries and shit that he's had. Maybe that was high on the touchdowns because he's only had one season where he's been over 35 touchdowns.
He had 41 when he was in 2011. But he averages over 4,000 yards a season.
So let's say he has 30 touchdowns. He's still going to end up top 10 in both categories.
Now, how do you rate this error? I have no idea. I just know that when you have those types of numbers and if he can figure out a way to get to a Super Bowl or even win a Super Bowl ring then it's like if Matt's let me just say this if Matt's ever wins a Super Bowl this year the very first thing they'll say on first take the next day is Matt Stafford's a Hall of Fame yeah because that will be it you're just early to the conversation yeah I was like five years early and got roasted for it for a very long time just chill out man Sean McVay McVay.
Do you see him sprinting at the end of the first half? He looked like Dabo. He looked like either Dabo or like Jimmy V after he won the national championship and was looking for somebody to hug.
Yes, he coached pros. He was just, yeah, come on, let's maintain an air of professionalism, Mr.
McVay. You want to go coach Georgia Tech and do that? Go ahead.
Not in the pros. We respect it.
He could have got a taunting penalty and hurt his team for that. Bruce Arians also looked even redder than he did last week, which was redder than the week before.
When he gets mad, he's like a mood ring for rage. And he was like a ruby red today.
He looked like he had burst every capillary on his face. Do you think this is a look-ahead spot for Tom Brady? Yeah.
We'll talk it up to the look-ahead.

Look-ahead spot.

Trap game against the Rams.

Trap game against the Rams.

It was kind of the Rams Super Bowl, early season Super Bowl.

Also, Gronk is out with a rib.

He got fucking smoked.

It looked like a rib, yeah.

If you can bring Rob Gronkowski down in pain like that

and not have anything to do with his legs, that's a hit.

You win.

Yes, that is a significant hit.

Breakfast Club update.

Cooper Cup and Matthew Stafford.

25 catches, 367 yards, five touchdowns through three games.

Eat breakfast together.

You perform well.

This is also the first time that Tom Brady has thrown for 400 yards,

no interceptions, and lost the game. Whoa.
Roadmap. Did you see our co-worker Ken Jack's tweet, which I had never seen on Pro Football Reference actually, now that I'm saying it out loud, knowing that he just lives to troll people.
I'm going to double check that. Yeah, let's see what he say.
I'm going to double check that. I literally, as I was saying it, I was like, wait.
This is is Photoshop. Did you see the image that Ken Jack tweeted?

Ken Jack tried to send me a video last week, like, texted me,

and I just refused to watch it.

I was like, I'm not going to watch this video

because there's going to be some gross, like, cockroaches coming out of something.

Okay, it's real.

It's real.

Tom Brady on Pro Football Reference for Nicknames Listed. TBb12 stop me when there's one that you haven't used hank tb12 yep tom terrific yep touchdown tom of course the goat yep the pharaoh sure what the pharaoh scratch the pharaoh anything that's like you know puts at the top of top, I think is fair.
I want to find the one person who's called him the Pharaoh. Who is that? Show yourself.
The Pharaoh? It sounds like Tom Kern. What a ridiculous thing.
It sounds like Dan Shaughnessy. The Pharaoh.
It sounds like there was a very specific game where Tom Brady beat Cairo Santos. Yeah.
And then Dan Shaughnessy in his post-game write-up was like, a lot of people are calling him the Pharaoh. The Pharaoh.
And he claps his hands, shuts his computer, takes a big sip of coffee, and then takes a massive shit. Maybe it was because of the goats, the Pharaoh walking around.
I don't know. That one makes no sense.
Pharaohs. Who were the Pharaohs? They were the kings of egypt maybe he hates jews dude is that what it is hates well i mean they made him build the no i mean his best friend is julian edelman that's true that's true i have to rectify that although he didn't bring him to tampa tone you have to tone he didn't bring random spikes came up with it a few years ago okay why also he's called the comeback or sir.
The quote is me. I refer to him as Pharaoh because he's amazing.
Okay. That's what I'm saying.
Anything that just puts him in the top of the top. I always respect him because he comes out every year with that edge.
That's what the great ones do. Got it.
Pharaoh is problematic, though. Canceled.
Enslaved people. You have to cancel the Pharaoh the Pharaoh Tom Brady cool with that?

I'm sure he is

are you enslaving people?

no

canceling it

he doesn't call himself the Pharaoh

imagine if he did

imagine if you met him and he's like

you know what

I like you

go with the Pharaoh

that'd be some LeBron shit

the other nickname he has is

Sir

yeah comeback kid or Sir

Sir

I think it's comeback Sir

It's aback Sir. The Comeback Sir.
Yes, the Comeback Sir, not just Sir. That's like when you leave your phone in the car for a valet.
That's what that sounds like to me. Also, needs to be noted, Deshaun Jackson.
We talked about Corderell Patterson just being in the backfield in 15 years. Deshaun Jackson in 15 years will play two games, and both of them he will have enormously long touchdowns.
So he actually broke the record today. He has the record for most 50-plus yard receptions in NFL history, Deshaun Jackson.
He beat Randy Moss. He has 44 of them, and he tied the record for nine most 75-plus yard touchdown receptions.
Yeah. It's insane.
All you have to do is just be fast if you're Sean Jackson. It's crazy.
No one's asking you to block. No one's asking you to run curl routes.
No one's asking you to go across the middle. Just run straight and then see if somebody can run straight with you.
And they can't. And also he leads the league in the history of the NFL for guys that catch a ball and then act like they're not going to go into the end zone at the last second and almost get the ball knocked out of their hands.
Which I love. And sometimes do get the ball knocked out of their hands.
He fucking hates running directly into the end zone. Yeah.
Absolutely cannot do it. Well he so fast.
He has time to just hang out. I think he loves playing football so much that when you get into the end zone, you have to stop playing football for a second.
So he's savoring every moment of live action that he's in the game. Yes.
Yes. So Deshaun Jackson, yeah, two records, crazy.
He's still doing it. All right.
Let's get to Football Guys of the Week. We're brought to you by Chevy, right? Yeah, we're brought to you by Chevy, which is the best truck in the entire world that the official sponsor part might take.
They're great for tailgating. It's tailgating season.
If you want to show up to a tailgate in a truck, if you show up in anything besides a Silverado, you should have your tires slashed. Chevy Silverados are the best truck in the world.
They're strong. It's the most advanced Silverado ever.
And if you're a award-winning listener, you know that it's the most advanced truck ever. As truck guys, we know it's 100% true.
Chevy Silverados are strong. They're advanced.
They're dependable. They're hardworking.
Football season's in full swing, so step up that tailgating game. Their multi-flex tailgate has six different configurations.
It's going to give you a step up on the tailgating game it's got the primary tailgate it opens with a push of a button on the key fob or from inside the truck it's got an inner gate that folds to a large step for easily getting in and out of the bed there's easy access where the inner gate folds down so you can reach farther into the bed it can also become a desk or a surface for your tailgating meal, or maybe a game of tailgating beer pong. Who knows? Chevy Silverado is the most advanced Silverado ever.
Go to a Chevy dealership, whisper, pardon my take into their ear. They're going to give you full taken gas.
They're going to give you a hundred bucks off and a cup of coffee because we told you to say that. And your mileage might vary on that.
They might act like they don't know what you're talking about when you do that like they like to joke around um but yeah that deal is legit as far as i'm concerned chevy silverado we love it all right billy football guy of the week uh i'm so hot right now also it's great that we have uh american ninja warrior back on feels like old times 128 yeah we're here all right billy football guy of. So last week, the Steelers fan who shat himself and was cleaning his pants in the bathroom won.
So, congrats to that guy. Okay, you win a free Chevy.
So, first Football Guy of the Week is actually a repeat from last week, but he brought the receipts so we can talk about this. Bruce Barnum of Portland State bought 1,300 Coors Lights for everyone who came to see the game.
So he, you know, stuck to his word on it. So that's a huge football guy move.
And he also, you know, bought 1,300 Blue Mountains for everyone who watched this guy play. I love it.
So I'm putting him back on there this week because I thought he deserved to be there. Okay.
Not very Billy. I just like to make a running.
We'll leave a spot open every week for the person in America that bought the most Coors Lights for other people in America. Love it, Billy.
And then second nominee is... Also a repeat? No, no, no.
Oh, that would have been funny. His name is Connor Davis, a Poplarville High School lineman who put...
Awful high school football. I love it.
Well, you know what? High school football has some awesome football guys. I know.
So they're underappreciated. I know.
So he took his senior photo with a stack of pancakes and pouring maple syrup on it. Because he's a lineman.
He loves pancakes. And it's his senior year photo.
I love this. This is like on Sunday Night Football when they do that halftime thing where they spotlight on a different high school football.
That's what we're doing now. You know what I also love about Billy is sometimes when he's telling us something and he realizes that there's not a lot of meat to the story that he's telling.
He just keeps repeating the same details. So there's this lineman, and he took a picture of him eating a stack of pancakes with syrup because he's a lineman, and they like pancakes.
So in this picture, he's got the syrup that he's pouring on the pancakes. It's a great skill.
But it's in the stadium. It's a huge blow-up picture.
Yeah, that's great. I saw it.
He's giving out pancakes. Yeah.
It's great. Why pancakes? Because pancake blocks.
But also because he likes pancakes? He probably also likes pancakes. He probably likes eating pancakes after he makes pancakes blocks.
Because he's an offensive lineman. Exactly.
Okay. One of the boss hogs.
Yep. Anyway, third nominee is Kenny Chesney, who says that he...
No. Wait, is he going back on the chillaxification tour? This is now my favorite segment of the week.
You know why Kenny Chesney? Why? You know why he's a football guy? Is this a knock-knock joke? No, you know why Kenny Chesney is a football guy? Why? Because he refuses to tour during the fall. I like that.
Because of football. He doesn't want to, you know, like people playing weddings in the fall.
And it's always on a college football Saturday. Yeah, he's not going to do that.
Well, he's got a very busy schedule of being on college game day every fucking Saturday when they don't have anybody else to make the pick in that town. I love it.
Yeah, but he's not touring. That's a football guy move.
It is a football guy. He's leaving money on the table because of football.
Super rich guy I aspire to be where I can be like, hey, I'll have to work all football season. That's awesome.
Thank you, Kenny Chesney. Yes, thank you.
I think we do all aspire to reach a level of being rich where we just take our phone off the hook for the entire fall. Yeah, it's like, hey, it's football season.
I can't be bothered. Do not disturb.
With my busy schedule, I can't be bothered to return your calls. Yes.
And the last nominee is Mark Ferrante, head coach of Villanova. Okay.
I may have butchered that name. Covered the spread.
Covered the spread and throughout practice all week he had leaf blowers going to mimic the Beaver Stadium noise. So he was just leaf blowing his quarterback all through practice.
Putting it right up to his head. That's fantastic.
That sounds like the next Jameis drill is just have like five guys with a wind tunnel. Yeah, like head trimmers and all sorts of landscaping equipment just

going at them. I love it.
Good job.

Even though they didn't win, it is an FCS team

and they did cover. They covered the spread.

Listen, FCS teams covering

the spread is a win. That's formally

Division I AA. Yes.

Good job, Billy. Everyone vote blog

up tomorrow? Yes.

It's already written. Beautiful.
It's in the chamber. Beautiful.
Alright, let's finish up. We got who's back of the week.
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Hank, who's back of the week? The USA, United States of America. We are back thanks to the Ryder Cup team.
Absolutely skull-fucked Europe, 19-9. Biggest win since 1975.
We fucked them up. Brooks and Bryson are best friends.
They're hugging, holding the cup together, laughing, posting Instagram stories and shit. Everyone was getting drunk.
It looked like an awesome time in Wisconsin. I'd like to say something nice about...
Oh, that's nice. I'd like to say something nice about Bryson, if I may.
That T-Shaw was one of the best T-Shaws I've ever seen. Incredible.
Like, the fact... He just...
That was Tiger Woods. We were like, fuck it.
I'm just going to see if I can hit it 500 yards over all these trees. And they were winning by so much, so it didn't really matter.
He was just like, fuck it. It was so, so funny watching the Euros after day one when they halved a hole.
So they halved the match. They got a half a point to go down like four.
And they were fist-pumping like they had won the whole fucking thing. You stupid idiots.
USA is the best ever. This is actually the perfect scenario to kind of be able to root for Bryson in a circumstance.
Yeah. So you can pick and choose the parts about his game that are good and fun to watch, even when he's being an asshole.
Yes. When he nukes a tee shot, that's fun to watch.
Yes. And so we got to root for that when he hit the 417-yard drive.
And then when he drove the green that other time in front of the whole crowd, the gallery, and put his hands up in the air. And then I actually found myself rooting for Bryson when he was being a prick and put his putter down on the ground to be like why didn't you give me that gimme yes when he drilled he sank like the four foot putt yes and he has like a hundred foot putter yeah that's true that yes that was where it was like the you know the general rule of thumb is like if it's within a putter not assuming that your putter is like yeah bryson probably had his driver like, see, that's within 70 inches.
You should have given that to me. But it was awesome.
Ryder Cup is such a cool thing. I know we probably, I think we actually give it the appropriate amount of attention.
It does suck that it goes on during football season, but it's just awesome because it's cool that there's teammates playing against another team. USA gets you a little pumped up.
There's nothing more American, too, than kicking ass at a sport that we don't really care about. Right.
I love it. And then just parachuting in once every couple years and being like, yeah, fuck you, Europe, in your face, you piece of shit.
Right. And they're like, we live and breathe this stuff.
Right. And all the drunk dudes who dress up in American flags.
It's cool. I'm in.
I like it. Good who's back, Hank.
Thank you. Great.
Who's back. I appreciate that.
I would say my who's back is John Bones Jones got arrested again. And then Dana White said it's not even surprising at this point.
Oh, no. So we can just kind of we could probably kiss goodbye.
Any notion of John Bones Jones coming back to fight for any meaningful title. I'm not ready to do that.
I'd like to see him come out and call Daniel

Cormier a pussy again. It'll get

me excited. He'll do one of these boxing events

in like five years. Yeah, I don't think Dana

White's going to give him the time of day. Maybe rough and rowdy.

Yeah, maybe rough and rowdy. Who knows?

Alright, my who's back is my

ability to hold a grudge and

not mention the fact that the Cardinals

have won 15 games in a row.

Yeah, congratulations. Thank you.
I will never

mention it on this show. Which Cardinals?

The St. Louis Cardinals.

15 games in a row

is a lot. That's a fucking lot.

But we won't talk about it. Are they getting hot

too early?

They're winning all these games to fucking

play in the one game playoff and get the shit kicked

out of them by the Dodgers. Have fun, guys.

Cool. It is late September.
I care about draft picks. Billy.
My who's back, my real who's back, is people making Green Day jokes later on. Yes.
This week on Twitter. Yes.
Also, my real who's back is misery because I had... Sports are stupid.
I really... I need to reprioritize.
Father or two. Billy.

My who's back of the week is Dog the Bounty Hunter. Yes! Dog

the Bounty Hunter is on

the trail of Brian Laundrie.

Peace, Brian Laundrie.

Turn yourself in, bitch. Dude,

Dog's like knocking on his parents'

house at like 6am.

Yo, Brian Laundrie's toast.

Go with Christ, brah. Dog.
Hope he's not smoking a fucking ice pipe because Dog will smash it with his boots. And Dog's also married again.
Remarried. He remarried? Remarried.
After? A woman who looks kind of similar to Beth. May she rest in peace.
I hope that Dog doesn't give this guy a cigarette, though. No.
This guy doesn't. Fuck no.
I hope Dog puts out the cigarette on his face.

I hope Dog lets Leland shoot him with rubber bullets

before they fucking zip tie his ass.

What happens if Dog finds him before the FBI?

He will.

He absolutely will.

He's Dog the bounty hunter.

Like, Brian Laundrie probably saw that clip,

wherever the fuck face is,

and he's like, all right, it's over.

Dog's on the case.

It's done.

Damn.

Yeah, no, he, no.

The FBI probably hired Dog.

Smoke him out, brah.

Also, bonus, who's back?

Devontae Davis.

Famously retired at halftime of a Bills game.

Yes.

We had a Ohio State player.

It's Devontae Davis.

No, Devontae, I like that.

What did I say? Devontae Davis. I like that.
Devontae Davis. You said Devontae.
The. You said Devontae Davis.
I think you were also maybe doing it like Devontae Adams who played in Sunday Night Football. Yes.
I like Devontae. It's 2 a.m.
We had an Ohio State player who quit Ohio State football in the middle of the game He just started taking his jersey off And one of the coaching staff members took him off the field The Vontae Davis The Ohio State University He saw the four losses on the wall They were down 7-0 to Akron They were I was a little bit afraid I was afraid Because then Akron somehow didn't cover 49.5 points spread. I know.
That was ridiculous. They almost did at the end, though.
Insane. Hank, how confident are you? I mean, with news like this, I feel great.
The team has fallen apart at the seams. With Devontae quitting? Well, it was in honor of Devontae.
Has Ryan Day lost the locker room? This would point to yes. Would it not? I'd agree.

Do good teams have players quit in the middle of the season?

Nope.

Never.

Nope.

Jake, finish us off.

We're all so hot, sweaty, tired. My who's back of the week is Joe West.

Yep.

Crazy things happened at Fenway Park on Sunday night.

He had himself a game.

There were bloopers and missed pop flies, and Joe West called strike three on Aaron Judge. Aaron called a foul ball, and it...
The catcher caught the ball. It was a foul tip strike three.
The catcher caught it. It was what happened at the end of the Yankees game where they called a phantom foul tip.
He was going to, after he caught the ball, was transferring it back to his hand to throw it to the pitcher and dropped it, and they said it was a fact. Not reviewable.
Judge hits a two-run double. Stanton hits a bomb over the monster.
What a guy. He just makes everything about Joe West.
He has incredible talent. Crazy strike three calls.
Just when you think that you have forgotten about Joe West, he's like, nuh-uh, America. Exactly.
I'm still Joe West. I feel like Joe West lives in a world where the ESPN game cast and square that shows where the pitches actually go, I don't think he acknowledges its existence.
No. Because every game there's like, Joe West, call this a strike, and the ball is just like four feet outside.
I love it. I admire his commitment to find new ways to make things about Joe West.
Yes. He's actually an innovator.
Yes. For most people, they could pull that stunt off for maybe a year, maybe two and find ways to make it about themselves.
Joe West has made an entire career out of it. Joe to the point where I think I'm going to miss Joe West when he's gone.
In fact, I know I am. Yeah, because I don't know.
It's, it's, it's fun to laugh at Joe West doing Joe West stuff. He's it's insane how he's able to keep himself in the moment.
Everyone has to. Joe West is 9-11.
Never forget. His strike three call looking is literally like he doesn't want to be there.
I don't know if you guys have seen it. He just stands up and does this.
You just never forget Joe West. No emotion.
I'm going to listen to his country album when I go home today. Oh, love it.
Love it. He's got a song about going on a blind date and his girl being like hey quit looking at the candy corn girl if you cheat on me you'll be out at home it's a great album Joe West alright numbers great guest coming on Wednesday by the way.
One we've been looking forward to for a very long time.

Haven't taped it yet, so I can't say who.

I mean, eight.

97.

The Hague is in the Netherlands.

Where?

The Netherlands.

Netherlands.

And Eli Manning had to tell the fans to stop booing Mara.

69.

Mr. Mara.

I feel like we had 65 last week.

It was Burrow's first career road win.

Whoa.

Also, there's a bunch of...

Whoa, that's crazy.

I guess because he got hurt.

There's a bunch of microscopic shrimp in New York City tap water.

So it's technically not kosher.

All right.

And in the Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

Yeah.

That's okay.

Yeah, it's part of the treatment process.

Brady probably did it.

Love you guys.

Love you guys. Gangsta pills Bitches Gonna shine Like a rich bitch I'm a fucking big timer I've been talking away I don't know what I'm to say I've said anyway Today's another day To find you Shining away I've been coming for your love okay I've been coming for your love okay Needless to say I'm all descended And Thank you.
It's Pardon My Take, presented by Barstool Sports.