Barry Alvarez, Big Wave Surfer Garrett McNamara And NFL Week 3 Preview

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USAA. On today's part of my take, we have a twofer for the people.
For the folks. We have a former Wisconsin head coach and AD, Hall of Famer, college football guy.
What is he, director of football? He's director of football, yeah. His job is to observe and notate football.
Yes. It is Barry Alvarez.

Awesome interview with him.

And then we have something a little different.

Garrett McNamara, who, if you haven't seen the documentary on HBO Max, incredible.

He is a big wave surfer.

He surfed the biggest wave in the world.

I would say that he's the baddest ass guy we've ever had on the show. He also created the wave.
Yes. And also a moment that took my breath away in that interview.
I can't remember. Give me a hint.
When he said about a certain thing that he can't do. Yes.
Think Vaughn Miller. So great show.
Great show. We got a preview.
Weekend preview weekend preview we got our picks we talk about each game getting you ready for this weekend of football fire fest of the week fantasy fuck boys we're gonna get right back to the show bring excitement to your landscape with proven winners color choice shrubs these flowering shrubs and evergreens have been trialed and tested by experts to make sure they look better and bloom better.

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All right, back to part of my take.

Okay, let's go.

Boy!

Boy! There's violence and then a lot of work to be done.

No place to hang out or wash in.

And then I can't blame all on the sun.

Oh, no.

We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue.

And then we'll take it higher.

Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue. And then we'll take, presented by Barsville Sports.
Welcome to Part of My Take, presented by Dave and Buster's, the greatest place in the world to watch football this fall. Today is Fri-yay, September 24th, and turns out Davis Mills, not so good.
Well, Davis Mills, he's a tough kid. You guys say he's a tough kid, Big Cat.
Davis Mills is a tough kid. There's a lot of stuff that I'm sure Davis Mills is really, really good at.
Scarf modeling, feeding vampires. He can reach the most succulent leaves and berries.
Yep. But playing NFL quarterback isn't one of them.
We got so hyped up for Mills Mafia. You heard it on Sunday night when we stumbled upon Mills Mafia and then we got ourselves excited.
We worked ourselves into a lather. We bet on the Texans.
Oh, I saw that neck. I saw the neck pregame and I felt very confident.
Yeah. And he got choked out by David Cully.
Not actually. Also, shout out David Cully.
He is, everything we said about Dan Campbell just like

throwing analytics out, David Cully is doing

that to the max where he took

the old not go

for it on fourth down, take a penalty to get more

room to punt. Yeah, you like

to give the punter a little bit more room to work with

on the back end of it. David Cully loves

punting more than anything, and you know what? A lot of

people are like, he's making the wrong decisions. I just, if you're going to have a team that's not going to be good, I would at least like your coach to have a thing.
And his thing is he loves punting like Andy Reid loves timeouts. Yes.
David Culley, he would punt on defense if he could. He's the David Shaw of the NFL.
I think that this game actually showed us that Terod Taylor is probably more valuable than we gave him credit for because the Texans did not look good. No, they did not at all.
They did not look good. No, I think Terod Taylor, he's a fine quarterback.
Yes. He's fine.
A professional quarterback. So do we now...
Is it time for us to have the conversation, though? My eyes? What I've been looking at? Oh. I'm is is thursday night football bad for football oh it's been it's been a couple weeks now we haven't had that conversation yet christian mccaffrey got hurt the first game to go under in primetime games this season so we break that streak it was a not a great game you're right christian mccaffrey gets hurt i was gonna say i uh on sunday i said i had my eyes on the Panthers.
Now, the Texans are not a good team, but 3-0 is 3-0. You don't apologize for 3-0.
Are the Panthers maybe good? However, Stephen A. Smith's voice, they did lose McCaffrey, and they lost Horn, their first-round pick.
Yeah. At quarterback.
They looked like an Achilles. So, I don't know.
Bro football doc, what do you have to say about Christian

McCaffrey?

He just pulled up on it.

I didn't want to pull it a little more.

So it's minor, is what you're saying. I think you want to go

home to chill with his girlfriend. Okay.

Got it. I'm going to say something

right now that's crazy. You guys ready to get

fucking crazy? You're going to say that the Panthers

are going to make the playoffs.

No. Crazier.
Panthers plus 500 to win the NFC South. That's crazy.
The Bucs are old. They're old.
You're crazy. The Bucs are old.
You're a crazy man. That is a crazy thing to say, but I'm just saying it because sometimes you just got to say crazy shit.
No, that's crazy. It is.
It's very crazy. I said it was crazy.
It's almost wild. But I don't know.
Something about this team. I'm falling in love with the Panthers.
I like Matt Rule. Yeah.
I like him. He seems like a jolly guy.
And he's got the Vincent D'Onofrio thing going where every time you see him you think that he's going to be sitting on a toilet and putting a shotgun in his mouth. And it's kind of, you know, full metal jacket.
That's always a nice thing to think about. Yeah, just a visual to have.
And Sam Darnold is now on screen. Sam Darnold does have a huge forehead.
Yeah. But good for Sam Darnold.
Sam Darnold needs Davis Mills' neck. Yeah.
That's what he needs. I'm a little upset about Sam Darnold.
In a controlled experiment, it would have been nice to see

if Sam Darnold got better because he got rid of Adam Gase or got better because he got

rid of the Jets.

I think both.

It's just a complete change of environment.

But it would be nice to have, like, Adam Gase coach him at the Panthers for a year and then

have him go somewhere else.

So we can really...

We can put our finger on what the issue was.

We can isolate what the sickness is here. Well, I think maybe Adam Gase isn't awful if he's not with the Jets.
Yeah, right. So I think maybe the Jets...
Very confusing. I think the Jets just brought Adam Gase down to Adam Gase's true level.
Right, right. So, yeah, I mean, well, Sam Darnold, good job.
Good start for Sam Darnold. Good job, Sam.
Reclamation project. He just looks happier.
He looks like, you know, you release a killer whale into the wild and their dorsal fins stand straight up. Yes.
He's got better posture. He's smiling.
He laid a block out there, or he tried to. He fumbled a couple times, didn't lose him, so it doesn't count.
What were you going to say, Billy? I think he didn't look that much better than he was on the Jets without McCaffrey. Well, he's playing winning football now.
He's learned to manage the game. Yes.
It's tough to manage a game if you're a New York Jets quarterback. Yeah.
Because what game really are you managing? I think even if you say he doesn't look that much better, I think he had 300 yards tonight. And he also, if you just watch Sam Darnold and he's running a ball into the end zone while his team is leading, that alone is like, whoa, Sam Darnold.
He made some NFL throws tonight, too. There it is.
Some NFL throws. He hit a couple deep outs and some passes that you don't necessarily think that Sam Darnold would be synonymous with.
But, no, he's finding DJ Moore downfield. As Hank pointed out, he hit DJ Moore in the hands.
Should have caught it, right, Hank? Should have caught it. Yep.
If you can touch it, you can catch it. If you touch it, you can catch it.
All right, so that's Thursday Night Football. We've got to address one other thing.
So I'm going to count this as us being not fully understanding YouTube and also our audience is very funny and trollish. But we did the sub-a-thon for the first half.
We gained 10,000 subscribers to the YouTube. We were 5,000 away, 4,000 away from PFT showing off his non-freak eyes.
We stopped it at half because we always were going to stop it at half. Turns out you're supposed to do a subathon for longer.
And also people trolled us and unsubbed afterwards. Well, what happened during the actual subathon, we said, wouldn't it be funny like some people started to unsubscribe and then a couple people did and then big cat was like this is so funny it was it was and then i think we lost about 2 000 subscribers listen and but then the subscribers went right back up you were fucking with us yeah audience yeah it's funny i it's our audience is very funny and it was a very funny moment.
I was laughing very hard, but here's the deal. So first sub-a-thon, hand up.
Didn't do it correctly, fully correctly. It was a scrimmage.
It was a scrimmage sub-a-thon. It was preseason for the sub-a-thon, too.
Next Thursday, it's Jaguars-Bengals. We are going to do a sub-a-thon.
We are not going to stop until we hit 300,000 and PFD is going to show his eyes that's what we're going to do I can think of no better game to show these baby blues off than at the end of the Jaguars Bengals game and sometimes I feel like Roger Goodell is just fucking with us just to be like I wonder how much shit these idiots will eat and so he just tries to come up with the worst possible matchups and he's like oh you tuned in for tuned in for the Panthers-Texans? Well, guess what, bitch? We got the Bengals and the Jaguars next week. The Bengals and the Jaguars.
So Billy is going to eat a hot dog for every score on next Thursday's Subathon. That includes touchdowns and extra points.
Those are two separate scores. Billy? And field goals and safeties.
Yep. You weren't listening.
He wasn't listening, but he agreed to it. I actually was trying to defend you there, Billy.
You weren't listening, and you agreed to it. I can't help you now.
I agreed to the extra point. Yes, you did.
God damn it. I tried to give you a second beat there to be like, Billy? If only there was a way you could have avoided agreeing to that, Billy.
Yeah, by listening. Two-point conversion, I'll eat another one.
No, you already agreed to the extra point. Yeah.
No. You did.
You just did. It was literally on air.
So it's done. It happened.
But yes, next Thursday will be the sub-a-thon. Drive for $300,000.
Please subscribe anyway right now. It would be nice if all those people that trolled us and unsubscribed after we finished could resubscribe right now so that we can get a little closer and feel like we're doing something.
We got a lot of good stuff that's coming with some exclusive stuff that we put out there. Some exclusive stuff.
And so please sub, please subscribe. And we were going to do it next Thursday.
Literally, we will just sit in here till which, again, I feel like I'm setting this up because they're going to troll us with that.

But once we get to 300, that's it.

Once we kiss the wall, it's over.

I don't want to say I don't care if people unsubscribe after 300,000.

No, don't say that.

Don't say that.

I'm not going to.

Okay, good.

You almost did.

But once it hits 3,000, they're coming out.

Yeah.

Peace city.

All right.

Let's get to the rest of the games in the weekend, and then we'll get to Barry Alvarez and Garrett McNamara.

Before we get to our picks in a weekend preview, we're brought to you by our friends at Chevy, the strongest, most advanced Silverado ever. We love the Silverado.
It's strong, advanced, dependable, hardworking. And Chevy has not agreed to this, but I'm going to tell them right now that they have to do this we're going to the loser and second place person in our year-long picks contest will be driving a Chevy Silverado across country to LA that's just going to happen that makes it a lot easier I don't even I don't mind losing anymore yeah right because that's how great of a truck it is if you're not a truck person you should be a truck person you should get a Silverado.
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Weekend preview picks, talking about each game. I just want to say something beforehand, though.
I had this thought last night. This weekend of football, for me personally, a lot of my happiness in life is on the line.
Wisconsin at Notre Dame, we'll be there. College football show, come out and see us.
And then Justin Fields' first start. I realize that if this weekend could either be incredible, Cloud 9, Sunday night, I'm the happiest boy in the world, or it could be a disaster.
It could be a total, total disaster. I guess that's the fun of the game.
You've got to pray for a split going into this weekend. You can't get greedy and ask for both things.
I'm hoping for everything. If you get both things, yeah, you you're gonna be tough to deal with if you go over two you're gonna be even harder to deal with if you go one and one i think that's that's fair because we get the medium of people that tune in to listen to suicidal big cat and then also you just being in an overall decent mood okay so i just it's just a lot a lot is on the line for me it's a lot this.
I don't really, you know, it's a lot. If one of those games was going to go well, which would you prefer? Well, Justin Fields is a longer-term thing, so I think that I could probably handle Justin Fields not being, like, incredible and being like, well, he's a rookie and he's dealing with it.
Whereas Wisconsin, it's, you know, if they lose that game, then pretty much everything is over for that season. You can't lose that season already Notre Dame no it's not over already Hank it's chaos this year we already said me a team with two two losses it gets into the we already said that you would leapfrog Cincinnati yeah right so I think you can you can compartmentalize and understand if Justin Fields doesn't look great which I actually don't expect him to look incredible that's's a rookie quarterback.
He's not even the starter. He is right now.
It's a backup situation. No, he is right now because Andy Dalton's not healthy.
As soon as Andy Dalton's healthy, he's back in. But, yeah, I hope it all goes well.
It's always fun going into a weekend and being like, wow, so my happiness for the next month is pretty much dictated on this weekend of football.

That's what being a fan is.

That's caring too much.

All right, let's do some picks.

Let's do some picks.

Let's talk about the games.

Good slate of games.

Good primetime games, by the way. I guess this would be time traveling, but as we're recording this, it's before Thursday Night Football.

Primetime games are 6-0 to the over right now, so that also helps with why they've been awesome. Hopefully that trend continues.
Hank, would you like to start us off with your favorite favorite of the weekend, and we'll discuss the games. Yeah, I'd just like to say, records update, I'm 7-1 on the year so far in these PMT picks.
Can you give us the full? Yeah, so congrats to Big Cat and Hank, both 4-0 last week. Do you want to mention that, Hank? I was going to.
You cut me off. Okay, sorry.
Go ahead, Hank. Do you want to congratulate me? Congratulations.
Congratulations to you, to both of us. So Hank, 7-1, Big Cat, 6-2, PFT, 5-3, Billy, 4-4, me, 3-5, Liam, 2-6.
Everyone's separated by one game. Right now it would be you and Liam.
Fuck, okay. In first place? I, I'd be second place and Liam would be last place.
Oh, you and Liam on the trip. Liam would probably stop in a rest stop in Pennsylvania.
That would not be the funnest. And I would back up and he would just be behind the car and I'd run over him.
That would be best case scenario. Yeah.
No, you'd just sleep the whole time. I'd just drive through it.
Alright, so that's what it is right now. Bubba, we could make that work.
All right. Hank, favorite favorite.
Also, my Hunger Dog parlay hit 820. I'll have another one this week.
I do love the money lines. I'm a plus sign hunter.
So my favorite is always my hardest pick to make. So I'm going with the Patriots.
I was talking to Hank beforehand. He actually has hacked the system because when you bet underdogs on the money line, it's a lifestyle and you lose, it's more than just making a bet no one really is like, that was a bad pick because it's a risky pick.
No, Hank's playing the value and so really the spins on that he can put on it is he's the only one that had the balls to make that wrong pick right, no one's like, oh man, how could you pick that plus 300 underdog they just kind of forget it, but then when it hits, it hits extra and it's like, oh, man, how could you pick that plus 300 underdog? They just kind of forget it. But then when it hits, it hits extra.
And it's like, oh, my God, how did you have that plus 300 underdog? So he has found a way to never lose. It's like if you die in a bungee jumping accident.
It's like that guy had balls. You know, every man dies.
Not every man truly lives. Yes.
That is mostly what people say when people die in bungee jumping. That guy was a fucking idiot.
Alright, so the Patriots. I hate it.
Let's talk about this game. The Patriots-Saints.
Two and a half against the Saints. Two and a half.
If I had, I will be, I'm assuming we can make this, there will be this prop in the Barstow Sportsbook but Jameis Winston over two interceptions. One and a half interceptions.
Okay. I've got some stats here because one thing we don't really talk about when it comes to rookie quarterbacks and Bill Belichick is his rookie quarterbacks against Sean Payton teams.
Well, just in general, Sean Payton's Saints are 14-5 against rookie quarterbacks, which is a better record than Bill Belichick against a rookie quarterback. Interesting.
So there's that. Oh no, never mind.
It doesn't matter. No, it doesn't matter.
On average, rookies against Sean Payton throw for 206 yards and complete only 55% of their passes. I also, I'm a little nervous about, I actually don't hate to pick just because the Saints, where are the Saints right now? Where are they? Where have they been? Jacksonville, I think.
They're traveling all over. They're nomads.
They're not home. They have not nomadic.
And that's got to suck. No matter if you're a professional athlete, if you're working, traveling for business, anything.
When you don't get to sleep in your own bed for a month, that sucks. This is a Bill Parcells smiling down from heaven game, watching two of his best protégés go at each other.
RIP Bill Parcells. Also, I could definitely see Sean Payton just trolling the fuck out of Belichick during this game.
He loves to troll as head coach, and he's going to give the ball to Taysom Hill. I guarantee you, Taysom Hill.
Is that really a troll? When he's using it against Bill Belichick, yes. Because he does it all the time.
Sometimes he trolls us as fans of Jameis Winston by doing it, but I think Taysom's going to Taysom's going to be he's going to have a big part in this game plan very important game for the believers of Jameis Winston and his Hall of Fame career, I think he needs to have a bounce back here, and if he doesn't they play the Giants next week so we can just move on and just pretend it didn't happen, they're in Fort Worth they're returning to New Orleans after this weekend's game like that's crazy, they've been everywhere it's got to suck. It just has to suck on a human element, human level.
It has to suck to be traveling and not be home. Bubba.
I'm taking Chiefs minus six and a half for my favorite. Okay.
Just like a don't overthink it type of pick. I like it.
That's also my pick. I also forgot to say the stat.
Oh, Hank just gave us the face. The stat going into this week, for anyone who is looking at the board, teams that are 0-2 against the spread going into week three, the last five seasons, they're 68% against the spread in week three.
The last 11 seasons, they're 60% against the spread in week three. That was where I took it.
The teams that fall under that category are the Jets, the Chiefs, the Jaguars, the Washington football team, and the Falcons. So those five teams are 0-2 against the spread going into week three.
I also am just playing the Chiefs because I think the Chargers, like it dawned on me watching that Chargers-Cowboys game. You know how you can watch a game and say, well, if this goes a little different and if the penalties don't happen, maybe the Chargers just aren't good in the red zone because that's two games now where they've just been terrible in the red zone.
Yeah, but you can usually figure it out in the red zone. It might take time to click, and they've got really good wide receivers.
Here's something that makes you sound smart. You can't beat the Chiefs with field goals.
You can't. You've got to go for it.
You've got to go for it. You've got to score touchdowns when you get in the red zone.
Three points isn't going to win this game. You've got to outscore Patrick Mahomes if you want to beat him.
They're the only team that that's true for. Yes.
But I don't like to pick. In fact, I like the Chargers money line in this game.
Okay. But this is, again, just me doubling, tripling down on my preseason take that the Chargers are going to be one of the best teams in the NFL.
Okay, so your favorite. Yeah, my favorite is going to be the Steelers.
I'm taking the Steelers minus three. Now, the caveat on this is if, and it's a big if, if Big Ben plays.
So he's injured going into this game. Well, no, it's locked in.
So you don't get that. No, no.
No, that's not how this works. No, Big Cat.
I'm saying like if Big Ben right now is dealing with a severe pectoral injury. He might not walk ever again.
It has killed lesser men. So if he somehow wills himself to drag his body, his lifeless corpse, out onto the field, I think that he's going to win this game.
And I think that he looks across the field at Joe Burrow coming back from the knee surgery, and Big Ben truly believes if he's able to beat Joe Burrow, then Big Ben is now the frontrunner for Comeback Player of the Year, the one award that's eluded him after all these years. It really is incredible that in my head I'm like, Big Ben having an injury, whether real or make-believe, probably make-believe, is what will get him back to prime Big Ben.
Absolutely. He's thrown for four touchdowns.
He just needs the announcers to say, this guy's tough. Yep, and they're bringing out the old graphic that they used to use on Fox where it illuminates every part of his body and all the injuries that he's had over the year.
You can mark my words. They're going to list Big Ben's injury history, and they're going to get to add in a yellow font the new one, the left pectoral.
Yep. Alright, so I also have the Chiefs.
Billy, your favorite favorite. I have the Patriots.
Okay, great. Yeah, okay, great.
So we talked about that game. Jake? Bills minus 7.5.
Sorry, PFT against the Washington football team. I think it's a route.
That's fair. In fact, 7.5, that's right on the borderline because it's a measuring stick game.
Would you say that's the Vegas zone? It's a Vegas zone. It's a measuring stick game for the football team.
So if they're able to lose by just one score, I think that's kind of a win for the Washington football team. You know what I'd like to see? I'd like to see the Washington football team's defense play well.
I would love to see that. Because they have not played well.
I would love to see that. I would love to see the defensive line show up for this game.
That would be great. It's very bizarre because going into the season, the Washington football team, if their defense is not good this year, it will lose me so much money until maybe halfway through the season where I'm like, hey, maybe they're not that good this year.
Yeah, because I look at the personnel and it's the same, and then you look at the defensive coordinator, Jack Del Rio, that's the same too. If anything, they've gotten better and more talented.
Older, stronger. With Landon Collins and then obviously Davis, the first round pick.
So you would expect that they'd figure it out at some point. Yes.
And I don't know if this is a coaching point or whatever. I've noticed that Chase Young, he might be the slowest player in the NFL to get down into his three-point stance.
Sometimes he doesn't even get there. He's on his way down when the ball is snapped.
He stands upright until the very last second second I don't know if that's something that's being coached to him I think he's just trying to fuck him up just by standing up he's doing the amoeba defense I also have another fun stat here this one is about Taylor Heineke through his first three NFL starts as a quarterback Heineke has completed 93 passes in three games. That is more than anyone in the history of the NFL.
Wow. I thought Scott Turner's comments on Taylor Heineke were actually great, and people probably didn't pay attention to it because he basically said a guy is undrafted, so we just consider him an undrafted guy forever.
He could have five good games in a row, and then if he has one bad game, it's like, well, he's undrafted so we just consider him on an undrafted guy forever and anytime like he could have five good games in a row and then if he has one bad game it's like well he's undrafted he stinks and it's like well maybe he doesn't stink maybe he's actually a pretty good quarterback and we just use the tags that we've always used which we we do on this show with first rounders uh forever so maybe tyler taylor heineke is good it's the opposite of the davis mills where he was the number one ranked quarterback coming out of high school. Or the Kevin White.
Yeah, and so he will be good. He will revert to that form at some point, but no, I think Taylor Heineke, he's a fuckboy.
He's good. He's actually good.
Lose the headband, though. Lose the headband.
I just don't think it works. Just for him.
Just for him, I don't think it works. And Zach Wilson, because he doesn't win.
Hank, your favorite underdog. A lot of underdogs I like this week.
Yeah. For this one, I'm going with the Dolphins.
Okay, so the Dolphins at the Raiders. That is sick, Hank.
The Dolphins at the Raiders. I also am taking the Dolphins.
Let's go. That is also my pick.
You guys are butchers sickos. Well, here's my reasoning.
I don't know what Hank's reasoning is other than the plus sign. Is that the reasoning? Pretty much.
Yeah. So my reasoning is the Raiders are the most fraudulent 2-0 team.
Well, great start. 2-0.
Everyone's giving them their flowers. I don't know if they're that good.
I think they're okay. They're not that good.
And then the Dolphins, like Tua gets injured, so we're automatically saying, well, they lost their starting quarterback. Something similar is going on with the Colts this week.
Is Jacoby Reset that much of a step down from Tua? No, he's not. Yeah, I don't think he is like at all.
Well, he got in. There's a difference between getting thrown into a game and getting first-team reps and being ready to go.
So I think that's an overreaction to Tua being injured and Jacoby Brissett's not a bad quarterback. Brissett's a guy that can grind it out for 21 points.
And if your defense shows up and plays well. But I think Derek Carr's actually playing really well this year.
So, I don't know. I like the Raiders.
I don't like the Raiders come back and to me in like two weeks, and I'm going to probably hate the Raiders. But right now I like them.
Bubba, you're a favorite underdog. So I also have the Dolphins.
Anyone else have the Dolphins? Going once, going twice. Nope.
Bubba. I have Lions plus eight.
Oh, man. Campbell.
That's a Moneyline special. Man Campbell.
Sprinkle it. Just thinking like Ravens coming off the big win.
Yep.

Yep.

Yep.

I love doing that.

No rain to fuck with Jared.

Yeah.

Yep.

Also, I mean, the Lions, they play hard.

What did the Ravens do last week?

They shut down the Chiefs' number one wide receiver, right?

Yep.

They're going to be up all night trying to figure out who the number one wide receiver

on the Lions is going to be.

Is Des Bryant still out there?

I don't know.

I don't know who it's going to be.

But yeah.

Well, I think the Ravens' number one wide receiver is just their running back. No, the Lions' number one wide receiver.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Sorry.
Actually, both teams really had a lack of wide receivers in this one. But also Dan Campbell, a coach who eats kneecaps, going up against the Ravens with that injury history this year.
That's a bloodbath. Did you see the quote Greg Roman had? Nice little flex on himself.
He said they ran 32 different runs against the Chiefs, and there's a whole lot more that he could have done. I like that.
You like what you saw? I got a whole fucking... He's got binders full of runs.
How many different running plays can you have? He's got a lot. He's got all of them.
He's got every single one. Yeah, it's like Pokemon.
He's just running around catching them. Alright.
My Rams. I got Rams plus one at home against the Bucs.
I don't hate it. So Jalen Ramsey's going to be matched up against Rob Gronkowski.
He's talked a lot of shit about Gronk in the past, saying that a big corner can cover Gronk. Really neglecting to mention that Jalen Ramsey is really the only person who fits Jalen Ramsey's description of a quarterback that can cover Gronk.
Yep. Because Jalen is a big dude.
He's strong. He's got coverage skills and he can tackle.
So it's going to be a fun matchup to watch. I really like the Rams.
I really, really like them. Do you think that the Bucs should possibly sit Tom Brady in this game because of Aaron Donald? Yes.
Probably. I like that take.
He's old. I like that take.
You don't want to get him hurt. Yes, they definitely should.
Anytime a team plays Aaron Donald, they should sit their starting quarterback. I also think that the Bucs should sit Rob Gronkowski for admitting that he doesn't watch any film whatsoever.
That's true. But then Gronk came out, he corrected that, and he very obviously went to practice, and his coaches were like, Rob, we know that you don't watch film why did you have to say that yes in public and he said i actually watched tons of film an overload of film trust me i watched so much film that my girlfriend gets mad at me he really is billy football gronk and billy football are the same exact well listening to him trying to explain his way out of that it is very much it's a very it's a a very Billy explanation.
Sometimes I go home and she's like, you've been gone all day and now you're studying? You study too much. You've got your iPod out and everything.
Yeah, I got to get into it. I got to learn.
Yeah, like if I asked Billy, like, hey, Billy, you only had three blogs this week. He'd be like, I actually blogged so much, but my computer broke one day and the blogs are just on the computer.
So it is a compliment, by the way, because I love Gronk and I love you. You guys are the same.
Billy would say, I blogged so much that I broke my computer and I couldn't upload it. Yeah.
True or false? Debatable. Alright, Billy, your favorite underdog.
Jets versus Broncos. Jets have 10.5 points.
Hashtag Billy was right. Let's give you your credit now.
Zach Wilson announced has a groin injury. Tough to push off with a groin injury.
Billy was right. He diagnosed it before anyone else.
Billy, you get to say whatever you want now because you were right. Look, the groin really impacts your ability to drive your hips into throws.
Those last two interceptions were both just short-armed, short throws. They got picked off.
The first two were 100% an impact of Belichick's scheme, but I think Zach Wilson's going to get those points done versus the Broncos. I think this is when the Jets, the rest of the team plays well and Zach plays well and it's going to be a good game.
Now, Billy, did you see the report that he hurt his groin in practice on Tuesday? No, no, he hurt his groin in the first game. I'm just fucking with you.
It felt good, though. Didn't it feel good to be right? I wish it was something more arm-related.
You wanted him more injured? No, no, but it's true. I wish it was like...
You said he had both elbows. Oh, that doesn't count.
I'm giving Billy full credit.

An injury, if you say an injury, if it's the wrong body part, it still gets credit.

Yeah.

As someone who does that all the time.

Also, Zach Wilson has the most drops in the NFL.

Seven.

Seven drops.

You mean like him fumbling?

Not fumbling.

Oh, okay.

No, no.

Because I was going to say, I believe that too.

No, he just drops the ball.

Drop passes.

He's been snakebitten by his receivers. And his groin.
And his groin. Is it pulled groin? Yeah, a duct or strain.
It's not very Mormon of you. All right, Billy, good pick.
Good pick. And Billy was right.
Hashtag Billy was right. Everyone give Billy credit.
In fields we trust. Bears plus seven against the Browns.
Yep. And Jarvis Landry.
Marstall Sportsbook promo plus 1985. If you have not signed up in the state of Illinois, there's stupid laws that basically you have to sign up in person now.
So if you go out to Aurora, the Penn Casino, Hollywood Casino in Aurora, you sign up, you put in promo code Dave. You get the Bears plus seven or whatever the line will be when you bet it, and it's plus 1985.
So if they cover the spread, you win almost $2,000 because you get your 100 back and then the plus 1985. So it's an unbelievable promo.
If you haven't signed up yet, you can do it between now and Sunday. I'll be out there on Sunday, but you can just drive out there and do it today, Friday, tomorrow, Saturday.

All you got to do is go up in person and sign up.

Jake the Jinx.

Jake the Jinx?

Oh, no.

Honestly, this game, the one thing that I'm at least a little confident about is that the Bears will be able to able to like slow down the run game the bears have a suspect secondary um so it helps that jarvis landry isn't in but i'm i'm just i want to see justin fields out there happy make a couple throws even if they're dropped so i can say on sunday night like oh well a couple touchdowns were dropped. I'll take that.
But I'm very, very excited.

I also think that this coaching matchup in a weird

way might favor the Bears because

Kevin Stefanski is such a good coach

that he's probably going to imagine

creative ways for Matt Nagy to be using

Justin Fields, and Matt Nagy will use

him in the stupidest ways possible.

They'll just run Andy Dalton place. Yeah, so Kevin

Stefanski will be unprepared for

the extremely basic offense that the Bears are going to be running. That's a good point.
That's a very good point. All right.
Also, I got another fun stat. Yeah, let's go.
I'm coming out every hole right now. The Bears are 9-0 against the AFC North since 2013.
Whoa. You guys own that division.
Whoa. That's huge.
Okay. Wait, 2013, so that was – okay, I got it, I got it.
Because you've got to, like, go back in time.

I've got to think hard.

There was a game where a guy got poisoned after the Steelers played the Bears in, like,

I want to say 05 or something.

That was bad.

That was bad.

Yeah, poison?

The Steelers fan got poisoned at a bar after the game in Chicago.

I remember that.

What do you mean by poison?

I think someone poisoned him.

He went blind.

He drank Malort?

I'm going to look it up right now.

No, that's close to poison.

Let me look it up.

I'm going to look it up.

If you're not going to look it up right now. No, that's close to poison.
Let me look it up. I'm going to look it up.
I'm going to look it up because I could have also just made it up. If you sneak somebody a shot of Malort without telling them, that is assault.
Poisoned fan. This is a crazy story if my memory serves me correct, which it very well could not.
Steelers fan says he was poisoned, blinded by Bears fan, 2009. Yep.
Steelers fan Zach Hettinger says he was blinded at a Chicago bar by Bears fan after some trash talk gone awry. Basically, I guess my buddies had gotten into an altercation and they offered a drink as a peacemaker from what I understand.
I don't think they tried to kill me. I think they tried to hurt me, but the killing came pretty close.
Whoa. They did the dumb and dumber.
Why don't you drink up and we'll tell you. Whoa.
Actually, it's very way more serious than I remembered. Hedinger passed out and his heart stopped four times after he was rushed to a local hospital.
Okay. Disavow.
I remember it. I thought it was a funnier version of that story in my memory.
The Steelers fan was probably like, yeah, they over servedserved me alcohol and cocaine. Yes.
It poisoned me.

Yes.

Okay.

Antifreeze.

Antifreeze, yes.

All right, the over.

That's a deep cut pull from my brain there.

Jeez.

All right, over.

Jets-Broncos.

Which we just talked about.

I agree with Billy.

I think this is the game where Zach Wilson turns it around a little bit. He played absolutely horrible in the last game.

He can't play any worse. The rest of their offense and defense looked pretty good otherwise, and it's such a low total that I just got to go over.
Okay. Okay.
Nice. Nice.
Bubba. I'm taking Bucks-Rams over.
Ooh. Nice.
I think Glennie Ball says it's just a fun over. Yeah, it is.
55 and a half. That's a fun time.
That's a fun over. That's a good time.
That's a good time. What are you going to say, Billy? Sometimes when those games that you think are going to be over, you've got to remember they adjust the lines to make them this high.
Oh. Make them higher.
Yeah, you've got to face it. All right, delete that part.
Delete that part of the podcast. So it makes it tougher to bet on the over.
I don't get it. It makes it tougher to get to the over.
I don't get it either. So I was under the impression that every game was 47 points

as the over-under. But if it's good offensive

teams. But you don't check that because you're like, oh yeah, this game will go

over. Then you look at the number and it's like 60.

That's very, that's insightful.

Shit. I'm just saying.

I'm going to go back and, yeah, can I have just

a second to switch my pick now that I know that?

Damn. So I was thinking about that one

but then I was like, that's a high number. Yeah, good point

Billy. No, you know what? I'm going to stick with it.

My over, I'm going to take the Falcons

and the Giants. That's mine as well.
Over 47

and Damn. So I was thinking about that one, but then I was like, that's a high number.
Yeah, good point, Billy. No, you know what? I'm going to stick with it.
My over, I'm going to take the Falcons and the Giants. That's mine as well.
Over 47.5. Arthur Smith, I'm believing in what he's putting together down in Atlanta.
I think that that offense is primed for an explosion. They're on the details.
It's the small things. It's a game of inches.
And if they can find one or two inches here or there, I think that offense is liable to just come alive. I also think, so that's my over as well, 47.5 Falcons, Giants.
I think Arthur Smith is one of those coaches. I was looking at it more.
He's actually a pretty handsome dude. He's a handsome, good-looking guy.
I think his neck is totally fine. His chin is totally fine.
I think, you know what? I'm going to throw it out there. Arthur Smith, one of the best looking coaches in the NFL.
I think it's like him and Mike McCarthy, one and two. I think that he is a handsome guy.
Sean McVay, throw him in there. The more that we look back on what we said on Monday's show, the more I feel like it was coming from a place of jealousy.
He's got such a good, strong neck. We saw a guy that was just a man's man, just oozing with testosterone.

And I want to be him. I'd like to take back anything bad that I said about the guy.
A good-looking guy. His wife's a lucky woman.
What's up, Billy? What? What? I thought you guys were like chinless. No, no.
No, no, no, no.

It has nothing to do with being added on a text message with Arthur Smith by Will Compton. No.
And making us feel... That was completely separate of what we're talking about right now.
I forgot about all those texts. Yeah.
But no, I think that the TV we're watching the Falcons game on, it was the standard definition TV that we have at the gambling house. So it made everyone's neck and chin look smoother.
Yeah. And it looked like a big kneecap that was attached to his face.
And a special fuck you to Will Compton, because we were going to make so many chin jokes about Arthur Smith this year, and then Tuesday morning, he just fucking dropped, or Monday morning, he just dropped that on us, and Arthur Smith was like, that was hilarious. You guys are awesome.
And we're like, okay, cool cool now we can't do this anymore to his credit he was he was a very good sport about it yes he was like my wife told me after listening to you guys that i i have to grow a beard out yeah so thanks will thanks for ruining that actually you know what fuck it he's got no chin not that there's anything wrong with that not that there's anything wrong with that and we're gonna have arthur smith the show And we're going to give him tips Turtleneck I think was one

He should rock the turtleneck

Push the neck up into the chin

Make a synthetic chin

I think he should just become a super paranoid coach

And just keep the play card in front of his face at all times

So we will do this for Arthur Smith

Oh he should become

The most COVID safe coach

In the NFL

Safety first

So Arthur Smith welcome

I'm not sure. Smith, yeah.
Oh, he should become the most COVID-safe coach in the NFL. Ah, yes.
Safety first. Safety first.
Yes.

Yes. So, Arthur Smith, welcome

to the team. You're now one of

our guys. Mike Wilbon over

here. Well, Will Compton did that.

It was unsolicited. Yeah.
Okay.

We didn't ask for it. Yeah.
I still do have

the over in this game. Yeah, I do too.

Because he's an offensive genius.

Yeah, he's a guru. And this is a game that I'm going to I as well.
Because he's an offensive genius. He's a guru, and

this is a game that I'm going to look forward

to it never appearing on the Red Zone channel.

And so I'm just going to bet the over and forget about

it for a couple hours. Yep.
Alright, Billy.

Yeah, no, we're going to lose, he's

saying. We will.

We'll see. Alright, Billy.

I like Bills-Washington. Over?

Yeah, the over-under is

45.5. Okay.
Washington scored 30 last week. I think the Bills can scorehington.
Over? Yeah. The over-under is 45.5.

Okay.

Washington scored 30 last week.

I think the Bills can score a lot of points.

So I think they go over.

Yeah.

Okay.

Do you think that Vegas—

Did you adjust the number for that, though?

Do you think Vegas figured out that they scored 30 last week?

How I looked at it, I was like, that could be an over game.

Does it have over numbers for the over-under?

And I was like, 45.5 is not an over-under number.

That's too high.

Let me give you a little history lesson, though, Billy.

What number is an over-under number?

Well, the thing is the 50s, anything over 47, I'm like, whoa, gotta reconsider if these two numbers teams are gonna put up numbers. Put that on a quote card, please.
Seriously. Put that on a quote card.
At some point, doesn it reverse itself? And if it's in the upper 50s, you're like, holy shit, Vegas knows that these two offenses are great. Then it makes you want to bet the over even more.
Because for me, if I see like 58 on an over-under, I'm smashing the over every time. Well, I've been caught up on this a lot when I started gambling, so I'm just checking it out now.
That number goes higher just as you think it's going to go. Yeah, I don't want to even tell you about college football

because college football, it's like you'll get games in the Big 12

and the 70s.

Yeah.

That will break your brain.

We'll do that next week.

Jake, your favorite over?

My over is going to be Baltimore and Detroit over 50.

Okay.

Both defenses have been horrific the first two weeks.

All right.

J'ai God.

Okay, we talked about that game. Go ahead, Hank.
You're under, and any games you miss, we'll talk about. My under is Colts-Titans.
Okay, we didn't talk about this game yet. Yeah, I have the same one, too.
Okay, nice. Go ahead.
No Carson Wentz. Which I think is actually a benefit.
Really? I still can't get over the fact that he sprained both ankles. What a hilariously stupid thing to have happen.

It's got to be the most annoying injury to ever have.

Because if you're running and one gets bad, when you sprain an ankle,

your natural reaction is you hop on the other ankle.

And then he's going to hop on the other ankle.

And then he's just going to collapse into a puddle.

So is he officially not playing?

I don't know.

I thought that you could only sprain both ankles either in a car accident or a trampoline accident.

That's pretty much it like that's how you sprain both ankles but he somehow figured out a way to do it i think jacob eason i although i saw their other backup not sam ellinger is getting reps as well brett hunley he's red hunley they're thinking about doing a two-headed monster of Jacob Eason and Brett Hundley. Think about how bad Sam...
That just screams under. Think about how bad...
That sentence right there is exactly why I'm taking it under. Billy, we gave you credit for being right, but Sam Ellinger being...
Injured. Fourth on the...
Oh, he's injured. Well, he's injured.
Okay, but being fourth on the depth chart to Brett Hundley, Jacob Eason, and Carson Wentz. He's not back yet.
He tweaked his ACL. Okay, fine, fair.
So you think he would start? I think he'd 100% start right now. I think he'd probably start, too.
This was another thing I was right on. I feel like Jacob Eason might have started.
Brett Hundley's a guy that you just have on your roster as a name. He's a great third name to have on there because everyone just remembers he's like 6'4", and he went to UCLA, right? Yeah, Deshaun Kizer was another one of those guys.
Yeah, you have to have a guy that's 6'4", played college football in California, and that guy can be your number three. He'll have a 10-year career as a backup.
Realistically, what would probably happen is Jacob Eason would start and then throw a couple picks. Garbage time.
Ellinger would get in and just throw a bunch of yards against prevent defense, and then everyone would want him to start. You're under, PFT.
My under this week is going to be my Chargers Chiefs. So we already talked about that one.
I feel like a 1 o'clock p.m. game for Chargers and Chiefs, it doesn't feel right.
It doesn't feel like points in the 1 p.m. time slot.
So I'm just going with my feel on that one. Both teams have top 10 pass defenses, though.
Alright. Patriot Saints is my under, under 42 and a half.
Billy? 51 and a half. Does that sound like an over for like two teams that are going to put up numbers? I like this.
You're just telling us before. Is this the Vikings and the Seahawks? Rams.
No. This is the Cardinals and the Jaguars.
So that's an under. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.
You see those teams putting up points? Wait, wait, wait. Do you ever think about what Vegas might know more than you know? I'm confused though.
Please don't. Billy said, does that sound like seven hours of a podcast after that? Does that sound like an over-under for two teams that are going to put up points? You're including the Jaguars as a team that you would feel would know.
No, I think they're going to be under. Yeah, right.
Because 51 and a half, that sounds like an over to a team. So you think that the Jaguars aren't good at football, so therefore they're not going to score as many points.
Right. And neither are the Cardinals.
And also Urban Meyer, his quote this week, which was very much Urban Meyer does not want to be in Jacksonville. Vic Fangio said that Urban Meyer told him before the game,

in the NFL, it's like playing Alabama

each week. Which,

we should point out,

there's a place that you can go where you don't have to

play Alabama ever, and that's

USC. So,

that's pretty good. Cardinals are also

wearing red. Okay.

And how does that mean? Sunday red. Alabama.
Okay. Not really.
Crimson? Is crimson red? Cardinal? Maroon? Burgundy? Yeah, they're definitely different pantones. But yeah, okay, I'll give you that.
A little flashback for him. He's like, fuck, these guys are awesome.
All right. I'm with Billy.
All right. That game, like the Jaguars, I think you've got to either – I kind of want to take them this week, but I think also I just got to pull the plug and be like, they're just going to suck really, really bad.
I could say it'd be like 38-13. There will be a week that Trevor Lawrence will throw four touchdowns in a win and everyone will be like, wow, it's happening.
It's arrived. So I wanted to bet on the Jaguars this week.
I just couldn't bring myself to do it yet. They're one of those teams that you do get the feeling like they can't be this bad for this long, but I think they might be that bad for longer.
For this long, yeah. For longer.
Yes, yes. All right, so games we didn't touch.
We didn't talk about the Vikings, the Seahawks. I think the Vikings are going to win.
I think so too. I think the Vikings are going to win.
I think this feels like the hungry dog runs faster kind of game, and also the Seahawks defense is still a mess. Kirk Cousins right now is on pace to have the best season ever for any quarterback from a statistical perspective.
I believe in him. Not.
Packers 49ers, Sunday Night Football, all-time jersey matchup. Yeah, I think the real winner in this one is going to be us.
Yeah. That's a great nightcap.
Unless Aaron Rodgers is awesome. There's nothing like having a full slate of Sunday games, and then you always have that one in your back pocket to look forward to.
No matter how badly you do during the actual day, you've got a premier matchup at night. I'm very excited for that game.
A great, great group of games this weekend. Great week three.
All right, should we do Fantasy Fuckboys? Anything else that we want to talk about before we do Fantasy Fuckboys? Any other weekend preview stuff? Anything? Any notes before we close it? Anything? No? I've embraced debate. Okay.
Embraced debate about baseball. Okay.
And the unwritten rules. Can't lose parlay, big out? I'll do that in my fire fest because you've fucked me.

The unwritten rules debate came back up.

Did you see the Rays and the Blue Jays?

Yes.

The scandal there, Alejandro Kirk, he dropped his scouting report, the catcher.

And then what's his name?

Kevin Kiermaier?

Kiermaier.

Kiermaier picked it up.

And people are mad at Kevin Kiermaier.

And he got beaned the next time up.

And then John Heyman tweeted out, what if a $100 bill fell out of Kirk's pocket? Would that be fair game for Kiermaier to take, too? What if it was a family portrait? Does he get that, too? So I was thinking about this tweet. Jake brought it to my attention.
I actually might agree with John Heyman. What? I don't know.
No, if it falls out of your pocket, it's finders keepers. Yeah, I guess.
No, it's finders keepers. I guess in a game.
And it's also way different than finding a $100 bill on the street versus a game where it's game plans and all that shit. No, I see it.
If you have a game plan, if you're that stupid as a fucking catcher and you can't remember anything, that you have to literally have your note card so close to you that you can drop it and a player can take it, that is 100% your fault. Yeah, at least keep just keep it secured in your pocket somewhere where it's not going to fall out or have a fake one i guess carry one real one and two fake ones on you at all time you know which one the real one is that way when it falls out nobody knows which one i guess so i i understand you're right like if you can get a competitive advantage you should do it it's professional sports, i i guess i'm more like john hayman wasn't that like it wasn't that crazy and egregious of a tweet of just being like be a decent person but he literally said like yeah no the analogy was not accurate but like i understand the undertone of what he's saying is like be a good person which you throw that out the window for professional sports but i didn't think it was like the worst like oh my, oh my God, you're such an idiot.
But then he said, what if it was a family portrait? He gets that too? Yeah, if you drop that in a baseball game, you should probably give it back. Okay, I agree with that.
If you have a family portrait in your pocket and it falls out in a baseball game, you should not steal that. I think that's where the line is.
So there we go. So he was right.
John Heyman was right. I mean, if you drop a family portrait behind home plate and the other team takes it, that's fucked up.
If it helps them win, that's fucked up. It's gotta be done.
If there's a competitive advantage to be gained, I think you can take it. But if it's just simply like a classic family portrait, goes to the salary cap, cap goes up, because you got a hundred bucks that you can now use? That's fucked up.
I don't think so. No, I think you'd keep the $100 bill.
Okay. You might keep the family portrait too.
Would you keep a $100 bill if you saw a $100 bill on the floor in the office? No, the answer is yes. I wouldn't.
Yes. I wouldn't keep a $100 bill if I saw it on the floor in this office.
Because it's kind of like my thing with always stopping when there's random people playing the violins in subway stations. You just got to assume there's a hidden camera somewhere.
If it was on the street, I'd take it. Yeah.
But if it's in this office, which you know who someone has dropped it here, I would be like, who dropped their $100 bill? How tightly rolled up is this $100? It looks like it's been through some partying. Okay.
Then I'd it. Then I leave it.
No. Billy, you've...
Well, you take it because it's yours. No, no, no.
Whoever had it would probably have enough money to be using it in party settings. Well, guess what you've just done.
I take it. You've implied that you're a part of a crime at this point.
I just take it. Possession of drugs.
I'm not going to leave $100 on the floor. Why? You wouldn't, you'd never...
Because I'd want it? Right, no, but like if you picked up $100, you wouldn't be like who dropped it? I would do that. In the office, I would do that.
As being a good person. That's the John Heyman way.
I mean, I million... I would leave it, touch it if I came back like eight hours later, no one else is here and still there.
That's crazy me. Are you guys serious right now? If you found a $100 bill.
I wouldn't acknowledge it. I would just walk by, see it, keep going.
In the hallway right here, you wouldn't be like, who dropped the $100 bill? Everyone would just be like, I did. And then how are you supposed to prove it? No, of course I would.
If I walked in and was like, hey guys. If I walked in this room100 bill on the floor.
I don't think you guys would. All of you guys would be like, I dropped a $100 bill.
Yes, you would. Yes, you would.
I would say, did anybody drop a $100 bill? And if no one said yes immediately, then I'd pocket. I would not leave it.
I would not leave it to be picked up. Like, in a loss he found.
This is crazy to me. On the street.
I would actually bring it to the police. No, I'm not saying that.
On the street, I totally understand because you're not going to find the person who dropped a $100 bill on the street. With that attitude.
But with your co-workers, yeah, I'd probably be like, hey, did someone drop a $100 bill? I would staple it to a telephone poll and write on a flyer, did somebody lose this $100 bill? I hope I never drop money around you guys. Jesus.
Of course I wouldn't pick it up in the office, but on a baseball field, I absolutely would.

Yeah.

I feel like you guys would all pocket it in the office.

I definitely would.

We've got to try to go figure this out.

Why would I pocket it when I can just do one thousandth of an ad read and make it right back?

I'd pick it up and then look around within my hand and be like, oh, oh, oh.

And if no one immediately reacts, then it's in my pocket.

Okay.

So you did enough.

That would be doing enough.

Oh, anybody?

Bare minimum.

You know what scarred me for life, though?

Is the poo dollar.

Yeah.

I probably wouldn't even touch it if it was on the ground.

I've poo-dollared some people before.

Because I would think that there would be feces on it.

It's funny.

It's a funny joke.

It's a funny thing to do.

Just get someone.

I'm going to do it to Billy when you're not expecting it with a $100 bill.

He'll look around.

Oh, oh. And then, oh, no.
All right. Let's do Fantasy Fuck Boys, and let's get to Barry Alvarez and Garrett McNamara.
Oh. Oh.
Oh. Let's go.
What's up? Have a time. What up? What's up? What's up? My name is Ahmad Rashad Penny.
Let's go, Pete. My stardom this week is range finders.
Oh, yeah, buddy. This is in the 1800s.
If you're out on the course, you don't want to use your eyeballs. You got to get a finder, see where the pin is, pin high, get it there.
And some fucking laser technology. Fuck, yeah.
My sit-em is South African bees What? They took out a fucking My boys the penguins Murder Hit squad Gonna have to send out a hit squad Take them all out This shit can't This crime can't go unpunished Those pieces of shit And my sleeper is Alex Guerrero Yeah? He's a piece of shit He's talking shit on my boy Bill Belichick. Oh, fuck.
You don't do that to Mr. Steve.

Might have said my guy Kenny Hamm is over there and beat his fucking ass.

Might have to put some of those cinder black shoes on him.

Loose lips sink ships, Alex.

Didn't he create a cure for cancer with some cabbage or some shit?

Probably not.

All right.

Well, I don't see Tom Brady coming down with the sniffles.

No tomatoes, no pizza.

Good point.

Fuck that guy.

Hi, this is Elizabeth Holmes. I'm starting Jamar Chase.
Jamar, you are the breeze in the desert for me. You are my water.
You are my ocean. We are meant to be together, Tiger.
Gritty. This isn't fantasy fuckboys.
I mean, you did a... I'm sitting.
This is illegal. I'm sitting.
Speaking of tigers, I'm sitting Tiger King 2. Carole Baskins coming back.
Jeff Lowe coming back. With my proprietary technology, I could build a meat grinder that could fit an entire Spangles offense into a device that could fit into the palm of my hand.
My sleeper is golf. Golf is good.
Fuck you, Elizabeth. I'll fuck you up.
That sounded pretty hot. That wasn't fancy.
Fuck, boys. What's up, boys? It's Doey DeJulius.
Doey DeJulius. My stardom is the USA.
We're going to fuck up Europe in the Ryder Cup. It's happening this weekend.
Also, fuck anyone. I'm a Ryder.
I'm a fucking Ryder, yeah. Fuck anyone who did a negative spin zone on what Brooks Koepka said.
Fuck them. Fuck them in the face.
Fuck them in the ear. Fuck them in the ass.
Sound like Elizabeth Holmes. I'm going to sit Danny Dimes.
That guy stinks. Also, this podcast loves Arthur Smith.
Love Arthur. Fucking delicious.
He's the hottest guy I've ever seen in my entire life. If you put him in front of me, I'd smooch him right on the lips and his chin.
This guy's got a chin like Jay Leno. My sleeper is Kirk Cousins because he's got the most accurate QB rating in a clean pocket so far, according to Pro Football Focus.
Maybe this is the year? Statistically the best quarterback of all time. Stop hating, start appreciating.
Yeah. What's up? It's the Linguini Lord.
And my stardom is air fryers. If you don't have an air fryer, it's going to change your life.
You can cook food really fast, really efficiently. My sit-em is Gronk because he doesn't watch any film.
And when he watches film, he gets into fights with his girlfriend. Allegedly.
Anyway, my sleeper is DeAndre Swift. He hurdled the guy in garbage time.
Sneaky think he's gonna sneak up on us. Hope he doesn't sneak up on you behind you in the driveway.
Kill jump with smiles. Sleeper.
Do you feel a little bad about that by the way? Yeah, I kind of do. Kind of do.
Gronk doesn't actually have problems with Camilla. No, I was talking about DeAndre Swift.
You all hit stick. There was a lot of evidence.
There was a lot of evidence. All right, let's get to our interviews.
We've got Barry Alvarez and Garrett McNamara. Back-to-back Garrett McNamara, unreal story.
Big game surfer, like the biggest waves you've ever seen. Bigger than your head.
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Coors Light, the best beer in the world. Okay, here he is, Barry Alvarez.
Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. It is a Hall of Famer, retired now, former AD, former coach of the Wisconsin Badgers, the Grand Puba.
It is Barry Alvarez. Coach, can we call you coach? Let's start there.
You may call me coach. All right, great.
So very excited to have you on. We're leading up to the Notre Dame-Wisconsin game on Saturday.
So let's start there. You actually had a lot to do with planning this game and getting it scheduled.
I'm very, very excited. When you're trying to figure out how to plan these non-conference games, what goes through an athletic director's head? What goes through a football program's head of like, hey, we want to schedule big games, but we also don't want to hurt ourselves playing too many big games in a single season? Yeah, there has to be a good fit in there and some common sense used as you lay out your schedules.
Having to play nine conference games when the Southeast Conference, Big 12, and the ACC are only playing eight. You put another burden, excess burden on your players with that alone.
Now, in your non-conference games, you have to be smart. But, you know, I think it's fair to our fans.
I know our players like to play in big games. When you have an opportunity to play someone with a tradition, rich background like Notre Dame.
I just felt it was something that our players deserve, our fans deserved, you know, and really had good cooperation from Jack at Notre Dame and the people there. And we were able to find some years that fit.
And a follow-up question was it ever on the table to do Madison and South Bend because I I know that how big college football works a lot of times big programs don't want to go to campus uh versus other big time programs but we're off the heels of the Auburn Penn State game last Saturday night that was an electric crowd it to see. Was that ever on the table, and do you think maybe Wisconsin will start doing stuff like that? You know what? We will start doing stuff like that.
As a matter of fact, I think we have Alabama scheduled home and home. That's unfortunate, but okay.
I was at the game in Texas. That didn't go through.
Unfortunate for who? Okay, fine. Yes, it's for you.
All right, all right. I'm excited for that game.
You're right. I'm excited.
Yeah, actually, that game in Texas, we missed the field goal. You know, that was a pretty close game and a half, actually.
Yeah. That was Paul's first game, as a matter of fact.
You know, this is their – I forget what they call their series where they play one game on the road. And being an independent, I think they like to move a game on the road for their fans.
And these years opened up for us. We had open dates for these two years, and it worked up for their – I can't put my finger on what they call it.
Shamrock series, I believe. Shamrock series, right.
You're exactly right. So it worked out well for their Shamrock series.
It allowed us to get them on the schedule. You know, our people were really excited about playing at Lambeau last year and then, you know, tomorrow, their Saturday's game.
So it just worked out that way. But, you know, we'll look, you know, down the road as we have different teams scheduled.
We have some Pac-12 teams on the schedule. We have some ACC teams on the schedule.
They're all home and home. And I think that's fair for our fans.
Yeah. When I think of Wisconsin football, I think of a couple things.
Just strictly on-the-field stuff, I think of fullbacks and I think of excellent offensive linemen. And you guys, you know, you always talk about, you know, some of the other teams around the country, they just reload constantly at the skill positions, set with first-round picks, you know, one right after the other.
With Wisconsin, it's been like that for offensive linemen for as long as I can remember. I was wondering from your perspective, even going back to just recruiting and then developing, can you just smell like a future Wisconsin offensive lineman? You walk in the room, you're like, yeah, this guy's going to be my right guard for the next four years.
What was your mindset when it came to establishing that as kind of the identity of the program? Yeah, that's a good question. Great question.
When I took this job and you take a look around the state, you look at the quality of the athletes, look at how many are signing Division I scholarships. You watch your summer camps where, you know, we'll have, I don't know, 500, 700 high school and junior high kids in here.
and you look at the size of them and you realize, you know, we can get a lot.

There is a lot of big people in Wisconsin, like big, big palookas. And that's where we're going to start.
We're going to always have a good line. We're going to be physical and we're going to start there with a good running game.
The majority of our linemen are from Wisconsin, although a lot of the very good ones came from outside the state. Some of our great running backs came from in-state, but a lot of them from out-of-state also.
But the majority of the linemen are going to come from here, and that's going to be our starting point. And that's the foundation of our program and how we started it here, and the philosophy that tied together with our offense and defense now when you say fullback now we're one of the few teams that still use a fullback but yep our tailbacks usually look like fullbacks uh back to the ron dane days yep yes so yeah don't confuse him with it with a fullback oh no no we we actually on this show we give Low Man Trophy Award every year, which goes to the nation's top fullback.

And so Wisconsin got it a couple years ago.

Yeah, we get it to Ben Mason.

Last year it was Jacoby Buchanan from Army.

Alec Ingold won it.

Alec Ingold won it.

So, yeah, we appreciate fullbacks. Yeah, you know what you're talking about, Dan.

Yeah, yes.

We have great fullbacks.

Would you consider Wisconsin to be fullback you? Right now it is. Yeah.
I actually, so this is actually a perfect time. I was going to save this question for later on in the interview.
It's a tough question. It's one that you might not have expected to ever be asked again, but I'm going to ask it.
I want to go back in time with you real quick. 2004, Badgers ranked number four in the country

in East Lansing. It's a 21-14 game against Michigan State.
We got the ball on the one-yard

line. I actually think we had ran five plays from the one-yard line.
None of them were

for Matt Bernstein. What were you doing? What were you doing? Well, Bernie couldn't jump over the line.
That one was a killer. I just remember.
It was 21-40. The wheels kind of fell off after that.
It was literally five plays. Five plays from the two-yard line.
We had just a receiver on that team just walked in here lives in detroit and reminded me of that game so i'm familiar with it uh bernie couldn't go up and over um their nose guard was lining up offside a big samoan nose guard who lined up offside i mean our center raiola couldn't get a push um a push. So Bernie was not the answer that day.
But one play, one play with Matt Bernstein on the one yard line. You had five, one, maybe one.
Yeah, I'll give you credit for that. You could have tried him one time.
I thought he burned himself out against Penn State. He kind of wore himself out that game.
I just showed PFT the famous hurdle from the Penn State game when he ran all over them. It's incredible.
A fantastic afternoon at Camp Randall. It's kind of crazy to look back at your entire career.
When you got to Wisconsin, they weren't what they are today. You built the program up.
I think the craziest part is the ability that they've had to sustain the type of level in the last three decades have you like look back and like man I never in my wildest dreams thought that it would not only work for me as a coach but then work for me as an AD where I left this program in a spot where they can continue to be competitive at a top end level. You know what? I'm very proud of that because it's difficult to do.
And even your brand name schools, the schools that, you know, have had national championships and schools that recruit easily and sit in hotbeds of recruiting have all had their dips. You know, you can start at Penn State and go through Michigan, Ohio State, Texas, Miami.
You can go all the way. Somewhere along Southern Cal, they've had dips along the road in the last 25 years, and we've been very consistent.
And the thing that I've done, the guys that I hired, I made sure that they understood the culture of our program, that our program is going to be built on recruiting Wisconsin kids, a strong walk-on program, and then working from there. And every one of the coaches have bought into that.
Gary Anderson, not so much. And they've hung their hat on the culture that we built, and it's a successful one.
There's no reason to change. Yeah.
I know that obviously you're not the AD anymore, but the situation in Wisconsin right now, Paul Chris, fantastic coach. You also have an incredible defensive coordinator, Jim Leonard, who obviously played for you Wisconsin like go forward in in in a era now where assistants are getting paid an insane amount of money like what do I need to donate do I need to make more money and donate what do I have to do yeah we've we've been waiting for that okay I'm waiting for Penn stock to go back up again but yes I'd like to keep to keep the Jim Leonard's around.
Yeah. We, you know, we, we, we've tried to take care of Jimmy.
You know, the fact, the fact that if he's going to get chances, he had one opportunity this year to take a head coaching job. And I told the person that was a very good head coaching job who called me, I said, if he wants to be a head coach, he'll be a good head coach.
You know, some people, he's got three young kids. They're happy here.
They're happy in school. If you go to the NFL, sometimes as a head coach, you're going to be bopping around, you know, and I think Jimmy likes to have his roots settled.
You know, he's played 11 years in the league. He's been very good with his money.
He's got a beautiful home and lifestyle right here.

And when you're happy, it's tough to buy happy.

And so hopefully we try to take care of him and keep him here

and hope that that works.

I hope we can keep him a long time because he's really a good coach.

Did you ever have an NFL team approach you?

Were you ever close to possibly hopping to the NFL? I talked to about four NFL teams through my career. The Eagles tried very hard to hire me.
I think it was back in 95. I talked to several other teams.
It was always flattering, but when I went back and thought about my goals and the things I wanted to do, I love college football. And my wife and I, we did not want to be vagabonds.
We wanted to go to a place, build it up, sustain it, and make that our home. And that's what we always came back to.
Yeah. So looking back at your career, which of these stats do you think you're most proud of?

The 120 career wins, the 9-4 record in bowl games,

or the 1,272 hours of unused vacation time that you were talking about?

I know which one my wife likes.

Did you ever take a vacation? I told somebody. One of the local writers asked me, how do you build up that much time? I said, coaches don't take vacations.
We don't punch a clock. I do.
You know, my vacation was always during semester break, Christmas vacation and semester break. That was it.
Yeah. We have a producer who's addicted to vacations.
So when you retired and that story came out, we're like, see, this is the guy, this is the model you should look after because all that money's sitting there for him after all the vacations he didn't take. That's a good question, guys.
I think you even, you like hit the limit. So you couldn't get any more vacation time at some point it stopped after after 31 years you got 31 weeks of unused vacation time you just stopped accruing it it just stalled out at 31 you probably ended up with like 60 or 70 weeks well i don't know i don't know i was i was fine with it um so we we obviously love college football the the discussion I think my favorite part is the discussion towards you know October November who the best teams are you were on the selection committee for the playoff the hot topic it seems like every year that pops up is what does a group of five team have to do to break into the big boys club was there a maybe UCF was close but was there ever a chance that you sitting on that committee where a team from the group of five had a legitimate chance or a lot of people myself included think it kind of is impossible until they expand it'll be very difficult it'll be very difficult until you go to 8 or 12.
I'm trying to think back. I would think this year with Cincinnati's schedule, they have Notre Dame ahead of them.
They played Indiana. I'm not sure if there's another ranked team on their schedule.
And then the fact that they, the way they played Georgia in the bowl game, I think you have to give them consideration. Yeah.
But I can't say honestly that in my tenure there, that there was anyone close in the top four. And is that.
I wasn't there when, I wasn't there when when central florida yeah i wasn't many when central florida was good and is that simply just because it's so difficult to play these power five conference schedules and you know that week in and week out you're going to be tested because i i want to see one of these teams break in but i also know the reality of it is if a cincinnati had to play a big 10 schedule it's not that they beat indiana once it's that they then have to play wisconsin or iowa or you know followed up with a minnesota or wherever they were aligned but it's the week in week out kind of gauntlet that tests you yeah let me let me go let me tell you a little story so we played penn state this back when r Dane was a freshman. And it was a hell of a game.
It was a typical game for us, especially when he was there. We had big linemen, as usual, and we were very physical.
It was a great game. They were ranked in the top ten.
I think we lost. They beat us 34-31.
I got a call from Paterno on Monday. He just said, we're changing.
We just came out of a recruiting meeting. We're changing how we recruit.
We can't recruit small, fast guys anymore. We're so beat up, we won't even be able to practice until maybe Thursday.
And, you know, when you think of it, you mentioned, okay, you play us. Next week you play Iowa.
Then you turn around and play Minnesota. Your linemen are so beat up.
It's such a physical game. You're going to have to get down into the depth.
It just – it's the wear and tear. And unless you've been through that, you don't understand.
And so that's the one thing that I always looked at is I was evaluating and I had a, I had my own, uh, form, which, which where I ranked teams, I had eight areas, the top, uh, uh, individual statistics, uh, that, that matched the last 10 national champions. And I came up with that ranking and in my own deal but um none of them had

had that type of a schedule that you can compare with someone with a big 10 or or sec or some one of the other conferences yeah are you in favor of expanding to eight or 12 teams i i like expanding to eight. Not 12.

Eight is my number.

Okay. Any reasoning behind

that? Yeah, I think 12.

12. like expanding to eight not 12 eight is my number okay what any reasoning behind that yeah i think 12 12 um you look at the number of games and i think i think coaches would manage that and you know you fcs place you know they have a playoff um they get through it okay um but i think 12, I think selfishly for our league, eight is better.
I think it's fair for the players. You can guarantee all your conference champions get in.
You have some at-large teams that have an opportunity to get in, and it opens the gate for more, and it just doesn't carry on into the second semester. Yeah.
So the way college football is set up right now, it definitely feels like there's three or four programs that are so far ahead of everyone else that it's hard to break in. Do you think this is a cyclical thing, or do you think this is kind of how it's going to be for a while, and it just is? Like Alabama, Clemson, Ohio State, those teams are going to beat Oklahoma.
You want to throw in there? They're going to recruit better guys. They're going to keep it rolling, and it's going to be pretty much impossible for other teams to break into that party.

Yeah, I'd like to think it was cyclical, but other than last weekend,

there were some scares, and a couple of those teams don't look quite as dominant as they have.

But all you have to do is look at the last – or since we've played,

since we've had the CFP, and it's the same three schools the majority of the time and four of them much of the time. That's why I'd like to go to eight.
I wish it were cyclical, but I don't – It's a long cycle. We're in a long cycle right now.
Yeah, I don't know if I'd see that next cycle. Yeah, right.
No, I agree. They are at a different level in recruiting and doing things at a different level.
It's kind of crazy. I was saying that you're now the special advisor to the Big Ten.
Is that your official title? Special advisor to football. Special advisor to football.
Commissioner to football, yeah. To the sport of football.

I love it.

So what's your day-to-day like?

You just wake up and you're like, you know what I think would make football a little bit better?

You know what?

I'm involved.

The commissioner and I have regular visits. We talk about future scheduling.

We talk about TV.

We talk about CFP. Just know, just the different issues that come up in football that he bounces things off of me.
And I've been in the league since 79, other than three years at Notre Dame, and I've been involved in a lot of the committees. And so, you know so I'm just a good sounding board for him.

Yeah, I like the fact that we do have football guys in this conversation.

You have to have a person that has the experience with the sport

that's giving feedback on some of these logistical things.

Like with the talk of combining conferences and things like that,

I want people that have been actually on the ground helping to make these decisions. So as far as something like that goes, you're a lifetime Big Ten guy, and you see conference realignment is a thing that's happening.
Like it or not, it's going to be a thing over the next 10, 15 years. How do you balance protecting the conference right now with ensuring the future financial aspects of all the schools that are involved in the conversation? Well, you have to see, evaluate what they bring to the table.
You know, what does what is a specific school bring to the table? How do they match our philosophy? Are they broad based in their thinking as far as sports? You know, our league believes in a broad base, not just football, broad base for sports throughout, you know, with Olympic sports, et cetera. Academically, we want somebody that fits.
And so all those things, and plus we need eyeballs, know somebody that that uh uh draws you know that has a following and has as uh as viewers that bring something to the table as far as our tv package yeah um i want to read a story to you real quick because i just want you to comment on it because it's very funny to me uh this is from carlos fowler he said, Barry was the epitome of, I would say, Tony Soprano.

One day he invited all the offensive and defensive linemen out to his house

for a barbecue.

We were all excited.

We think we're going to go chill with Barry out at his house.

He had us out there to move his hot tub into his house.

He was truly the godfather of Wisconsin football.

I think he's exaggerating a bit on that. But did they move a hot tub for you? No.
No, that's right. I've never done that.
Who the hell wants a hot tub in the house? That would be a great story, though. I believe it.
Let's just say that that one's true. You know what? They all told me that.
I used to drive. I've always had it since I've been here.
I've've driven big cadillac that the local dealer gives me they always wanted to see what time to ride they come back now they want to see what kind of ride i have you know so i've heard that forever you know i mean i i can put myself in your shoes and you see these big linemen walking around all day you have to start thinking like i could use these guys for chores around the house. The thought has definitely occurred to you at some point.
Hey, I want them to play football for me. That's why I brought them here.
I want to keep them happy. I want to feed them.
I want them to play their ass off for me. What's the youngest guy that you've ever offered a scholarship to, like offer a verbal deal? Oh, I probably never went below it.
I can't remember ever offering a sophomore even. Huh? I've never, I've never gone for that.
I just, you know, we, we stay pretty, pretty even keel, you know, junior year. We're going to offer very few sophomores, very few sophomores over the time that I was here.
What's so Arch Manning, obviously is going to be a big story, his recruiting process. Clearly he's probably, I'll say 99.9% chance he's not coming to the Big Ten, let alone Wisconsin.
But how does that work from a recruiting perspective? Do you still send him a letter and be like, hey, if for some reason you woke up one day and wanted to come to Wisconsin, you have a full scholarship? Like, the top, top level guys, do you just send it and be like, just so you know, you can come here? I haven't been in that business for a while, but absolutely you do. You've got to take a shot at the top players in the country and see if there's some interest.
As a matter of fact, I had his father and sister here. His sister, I think, was a sophomore at the time last year, probably the year before last.
She wanted to come up. Cooper wanted to bring his daughter up to see the campus, experience a Big Ten campus, and watch a volleyball game.
So I know the family. Naturally, I nibbled around.
I had heard about Arch already. I think he was an eighth grader maybe by then.
But yeah, absolutely. You go after the top guys.
When Ron Dane won the Heisman, I decided we're going to go after the top guys, top running backs in the country, and really put a full court press on. We'd get a visit out of them, but we couldn't close the deal.
We just never could do that. So you have to know who you are when you're recruiting.
And the one thing I want to do, I'm going to make damn sure that we get the kids out of our state first. For a Division I player, I want to get them, and we happen to have a lot of them this year in our state.
Most of the line. And I like that because it is – it's so fascinating watching college football and different fan bases.
And I always thought as a Badger fan that the one strength that Wisconsin has always had is knowing who they are and what they are and not trying to deviate from that. Because if you have that consistency in a system of like, hey, this is what we do the ball this is how we're going to play it can get you a long way it can get you far without having to try to change everything yeah if it we'd be foolish to spread it out uh five wides and throw the ball all over the field because you know for us to get we're not going to get maybe we'll get one or two kids from in-state that are high quality Division I skilled players.
And the further you go away from, the further you go away to recruit, the harder it is to get them. They're not going to travel through four or five Big Ten states to come to your school.
That's just the way it works you have you have to be had use common sense when you recruit uh and whatever you can recruit to now when i was at notre dame i could get into any living room in the country you know you might not be able to sign they may not be able to get in school there but you can get into the you go after the very cream of the crop and you can get in that living room talking the kid and the Yeah. Was it ever possible to get a kid from, you know, Texas or Florida? If they came up and they were on campus at Wisconsin on a nice day, if it was sunny, 70 degrees, would that be way more likely to get them than if they came up there and it was, you know, 40 and rainy? Yeah.
You know what? If I can get them up here spring and summer, we're going to have a real good shot to get. Yes.
But unfortunately, you know, especially the years when I recruited, you know, you like to get them to camp in the summer where you can show them the campus. But if they didn't come to camp and you're bringing them on campus after Christmas, you know, maybe a couple before Christmas, but it's going to be January and February when you bring them here.
You know, they're going to look outside of our student union. We've got a beautiful, beautiful lake, right? Two lakes right there.
And they see those fishing huts out there. Kid asked me one time, he said, I said, how do you like our place? He said, I really like it, but I'm really surprised that they haven't developed all that property out there.
He's looking at a lake frozen over. The fishing hut's on it.
Oh, I love it. I got kind of a hypothetical situation for you here, okay? Let's say it's this Saturday.
You're getting ready for the game. Paul Chris gets stuck in traffic.
The entire coaching staff gets stuck in traffic. Your phone rings, and they're like, Barry, coach, we don't have any other options.
Our entire coaching staff is not going to be able to make it to the game. We've got a chopper for you in your lawn right now.
We need you to step up and interim coach one game. Could you do it? Again? Hell yeah.
That's like riding a bike, boys. Yeah, do you miss it? I miss the kids.
I miss the relationship with the players. Miss the relationship with your staff.
That's the thing I miss the most. But I'm still close to it.
All those years as the athletic director, my office overlooks practice field. I watch every day i've had the last nine years i've had grandsons a grandson on a team so i felt very close to it and um you know so that that really helped yeah yeah uh toughest place to play in the big 10 and then maybe give me the country as well because you obviously played in a lot of different stadiums.
Yeah, I say the toughest place in the Big Ten is Iowa. Yep.
And the reason for that is their stands are about – they can actually reach over and hit the guy on the bench almost. And they're in those kids' ears now, and they wear them out.
And if you're not, you know, if you're not into the game or you let, you have rabbit ears, they can really affect you. That that's, that's a hard place and it's loud enough, even though they're probably see, I'm guessing sixties, mid sixties, and you're going to play in front of 105 at Penn state, Ohio state, and Michigan, Michigan state again sits back.
It's, it doesn sits back. It's not quite as loud.
Ohio State, you've got a track around it, so you're separated from the stadium. Penn State's a loud field, but it's set back also.
But I'd say Iowa, as far as around the country, I've never been to Death Valley. I've never been to Florida or Alabama or some of the places, LSU, where they say they're really tough places to play.
But they can't be any tougher than a whiteout at Penn State or Iowa or here or 100,000-seat stadiums in our league. Yeah,.
I'll push back on one because I actually

agree with you. Iowa City

and playing at Iowa,

I actually sat, I think, second row

at Iowa for a Wisconsin-Iowa game

probably 15 years ago.

You basically are on the bench when you're that close

because it really is that close.

The only place I've been to a lot of Big Ten stadiums,

the only place that is on a different level

is Death Valley on a Saturday night LSU. That is a sound that I don't think I've ever heard before.
And it actually hurts your ears how loud it is. And we went to a game where LSU scored zero points.
They got shut out by Alabama. So they didn't have a lot of cheering going on.
But before the game, that was the loudest crowd I've ever been a part of and ever seen so but i

agree i mean they're you know every other stadium put it up with every other stadium the sec yeah i you know what i i'd heard about lsu had never been there that's why i mentioned it but uh i'll take your word for it yeah it's something else it really is who's uh who's the best player that you've ever coached?

You know, probably Joe Thomas.

You know, Joe came in.

Joe. Who's the best player that you've ever coached? You know, probably Joe Thomas.
You know, Joe came in. Joe actually wanted to be a two-sport athlete.
He played three sports in high school, but he wanted to go to the Olympics and throw the shot and disc. But he was very analytical.
You know, when he was a true freshman, we were getting ready for the bowl game. We had some injuries in the defensive line.
After two practices, all of a sudden he's in the rotation to play defensive line as well as offensive line. And, you know, he played – you know, when he got to the league, I think he gave up one sack his rookie year and didn't miss a game for all those years until the very last year in the league.
But, you know, very, very analytical, real smart player, very athletic. But he was the best.
Yeah. Have you kind of have you noticed a difference over the years? And Joe Thomas is one of the guys I think that was involved in the transition of offensive linemen sometimes becoming less just big, you know, fatter guys

and becoming legitimate athletes that are, you know,

just kind of these freaks of nature that are able to run faster than, you know,

a lot of high school wide receivers, but also, you know, 320 pounds.

Yeah, I don't think you see a lot of big fat guys playing.

Right.

They're big guys. Don't get big fat guys confused with big guys.
Yes. But, you know, we had a kid named Aaron Gibson who was a mauler.
And, you know, we trimmed him down from 420 to about, I don't know, 365 or so. And he was really good.
He's right there with you. You know, he wasn't as athletic.
He could do a flat-out split, put his chest on the ground. I mean, he was a freak now.
He was an out-of-player. I liked him going against people.
Yeah. So along those same lines, I'd have to imagine, I mean, you are a true football guy.
Football is your life. Was there ever a better feeling when you get into a game

and you just know that there's nothing they can do to stop you from running the ball?

When it's like we are bigger and stronger

and we're just going to run the ball 20 times in a row

and there's nothing they can do about it.

And I keep telling my offensive coordinator, don't get bored.

Just keep handing it off.

We don't have to get fancy here. We're going to beat the hell out of them.
We're going to pound them. Yeah, I love that.
I love that feeling. You know, if you can just keep running the ball as a defensive coordinator, you're helpless.
You can't do anything. You can call anything you want.
You can bring as many guys into the box you want, and they still run the ball. That's a long day that's it's got to be a great feeling all right so coach i have one last question uh this has been fantastic i really appreciate you joining us um this is the toughest question uh as the ad have you uh gotten over the duke loss because i have not i have not and and duke fans will always uh say i'm salty about 2015 and i'll say hell yeah i'm salty that will never happen again leading you know halftime of the national championship game are you over it he's maybe you being over could get me over it i'm pissed because the officials changed how they called the game from first to second half.
Thank you.

Thank you. Coach K paid him off.

They didn't pay him off, but I tell you

what, that's part of coaching. I give

the credit to Coach K. He wore him out.

Bo's pretty good.

Does his own fair

job of working the officials

with. Coach K worked him really

hard, especially hard, and they changed how they called the the game and i will say that to my dying day okay so you are exactly like me you're not over it good i feel good we should should have won a national champion yeah sorry i feel good because the people will just come at me all the time like dude it's been six years get over i'm like no i'm not i refuse to get over it i will never ever get over it you don't get there that often right right you gotta win when you got a chance oh man small part of me died in that field house that night i say it it's it's still sitting there in the end zone it's just sitting there and it's just never coming back so what are you gonna do that's why they play the games i guess that's right yeah well that's that's gamesmanship that's part of coaching. If you can influence the officials, that's what you do.
You've got to work them. PFT, you want to get them on officially? So, as I mentioned earlier, we do the low man trophy every year.
So, we've got an esteemed crew of fullbacks that currently vote on it. It's John Kuhn, Lorenzo Neal, just a bunch of guys.
Alec Engold, obviously, is on it as a past winner. Can we just say that you're on the committee? You could be on the committee if you want.
Absolutely. Okay, great.
So we're going to start doing our poll. I think late November is when we put out the first ballot, and then we announce it mid-December.
So it's finally an award that recognizes a true fullback position in college football.

I'm in.

All right.

Awesome, Coach.

We'll be in touch, and we'll get your ballot.

Yeah.

Glad to have you on the committee.

And hopefully I'll see you Saturday.

Okay.

Very good, guys.

Yeah.

If you need anyone to come into the locker room after a win and pump everyone up, I will be there.

So I'll be around.

I'll send that word to Paul.

Yeah.

Right.

Just let him know.

Just let him know. Or Patrick Herb can get me in there you know tell him we'll we'll figure it out you're available yes i am available coach thanks so much thanks coach all right guys all right see you good to meet you barry alvarez is brought to you by our great friends over at cross country mortgage cross country mortgage is Mortgage is much like us at Barstool.
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www.nmlsconsumeraccess.org. Garrett McNamara is about to be brought to you by our very good friends over at Simply Safe.
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Again, that's simplisafe.com slash PMT. And now for something completely different okay we now welcome on uh on a legendary guest.
It is Garrett McNamara. You know him from the HBO docuseries called 100 Foot Wave.
He also has a book out called Hound of the Sea. Big wave surfer surfed the biggest wave in the world.
I'm just going to say it right now, Garrett. You are the most badass guest we've ever had.
So I'm going to say it. Dog the bounty hunter.
No, I think Garrett might be number one because you are surfing the gnarliest waves in the world. You are coming to us from Portugal right now.
Is that correct? Yeah, that means a lot coming from you guys because you are the guys when it comes to sports. And I'm here in Portugal at my mama's restaurant.
It's called Celeste. And it's just like a fairy tale here in Portugal.
It's just like little dreamland. All right.
So let's talk actually just, we got a lot to talk about your career and everything, but let's just talk about right this second and what you're doing. You're in Portugal.
Are you just constantly waiting for a big wave? Are you constantly just staring at the ocean being like, all right, today's the day. I'm just going to go out and surf the biggest wave in the world.
Well, there's a weather forecast that we look at most surfers and it changes every six hours. And I look at it about 10 times in that six hours even though it didn't change it's this weird uh fixation we have on just i don't know why i look at i why i do know why i'd like to see exactly where the storm's coming from and then monitor how it actually affects the swells there they all come from a little bit different directions so i I'm here in Portugal monitoring the storms coming at us, coming out of the East Coast mostly, and training two times a day and getting everything ready.
The waves will start coming in on the 13th. We got a nice little swell.
And I'm just getting, you know, we got the jet ski trailers. We have the jet skis.
boards you have the warehouse you got all the equipment and so you know it's really about teamwork and surrounding yourself with the right people and the right energy and having everything prepared yeah i was watching the documentary and it struck me just right off the bat that you have a physical attachment to the ocean you have i i feel like you're addicted to the ocean. When you spend too much time away from the sea, do you actually start to miss it? Do you crave the ocean? You know, in my younger days, I couldn't handle being out of the water for very long.
And it's weird. These days, I can be out for a while and I'll be thinking, I'm okay out of the water.
I can actually be okay not going in the water and then once i get back in the water i'm just like how could i ever think that it's just the most beautiful just uh it's just jumping in the water paddling or or getting on the rope and towing and feel just connected to something so much bigger than you and you feel so insignificant but also significant when you when you think about how we are connected and how we are all so connected and and everything is connected by energy and the ocean is just you know it's so amazing out there in the ocean I yeah I did notice you said something that struck me is that you that when you have a big wave, you're not conquering the ocean. You're dancing with the ocean.
Do you feel when you go out there, like days where you feel like, all right, I am fully in tune with the ocean or days almost like playing basketball, like, oh, my jump shot's on today or it's not. Do you have days where you're like, I'm one with the ocean here.

And other days you're like, it's just not jiving.

We're not connecting how I want it to.

There's definitely days like that.

Whenever I'm out on a really big day of consequence and I'm looking to accomplish something,

I do a quick little reset, connect to the moment.

And it's a real basic exercise where I blow all my air out and then a third time I blow it all out with my eyes closed and then I open my eyes and just look around and connect to everything and and see and feel and know that what I'm looking to achieve will come. And that's usually when the wave of my life comes on those, those amazing days when it's, you know, different than all the other days, the big days or the perfect days when there's perfect barrels.
So I think that you're probably the world's foremost expert on like, on hunting big waves. You're a big wave hunter, you know, all that.
It sounds like you've done a lot of research in meteorology and you know the weather patterns and you know how the topography of an area will affect the size of a swell and all that. So you're always on the lookout for big waves, but people also, they just send you pictures of waves near their houses, right? That they see and they're like, hey, you might want to come check this out.
That's how you found the place that you're at right now, Nazarene, right? Somebody just sent you a picture of a wave, and you're like, I need to go conquer that wave? I said I need to go compliment that wave. Yeah.
There we go. Dances with it.
Dances, yeah. First, see if it's possible.
What asked me to check if their wave was big and good, and if it was big and any good, could I please help promote their town? That town that was the email it was the crazy just happens to be it was the biggest wave I've ever seen and at times perfection and other times very unperfect and very challenging that's what's so special about Nazare you really never know what you're gonna get so it's all you always keeps you on your toes and it is always something new. That's crazy.
So, um, you, for something, for some reason when you're watching the documentary and when you hear way, uh, surfers talk, just saying barrel over and over just gets me pumped up. Um, and, and if you, if you should go watch the documentary, it's awesome on HBO, but you, they talked about how you basically retired and then you came back.
You fell back in love with it. You tried the regular life for a while and then you got spat out of one of the most perfect barrels of all time at Jaws.
Correct. And like those type of serfs, do you dream about that? Do you like still think about that? Because the way was talking about in the docuseries about the barrel and how perfect it was it got me so pumped up well put it this way i love being in the barrel so much i named my son barrel yes and and uh the barrel is just this place where it seems like time stands still and you're in this perfect like i don't know how you you're in this cave and you're looking out at the either the landscape or the ocean and sometimes the barrel turns and you can't even see out and you can just it's like time stands still and you're working on getting out and when you get spit out of the perfect barrel there's

nothing like it nothing in surfing compares to it how long does that high last like how long does it last if you if you get spit out of the perfect barrel or you have an 80 foot wave or maybe when you get you know you break the record again how long does that kind of stick with you uh like and how long does it take to come down to reality?

Like,

Oh my God,

I just did that.

Uh,

as you're doing,

uh,

as you? Like, and how long does it take to come down to reality? Like,

oh my God, I just did that. As you're doing, getting barreled and you come out and it's just overwhelming.
And well, it depends on what barrel, you know, if it's the biggest, best barrel of your life, it's overwhelming. You're on cloud nine, you're having the best day of your life.
And, And the craziest thing about surfing is you can go back out and then somebody drops in on you or your jet ski driver does something you don't like or something just all of a sudden it's a it's a roller coaster ride of emotions you can be as high as you've ever been and it can continue on for days or weeks especially when you talk about it again. But you can also have the total opposite where you get the best ride of your life, and then you're as high as you can be, and then the next wave something goes wrong, and you're just like, you want to kill somebody.
So it's an emotional roller coaster, and it's really challenging to deal with at times.

Yeah, so you're on the hunt for a 100-foot wave. You're looking to surf the biggest wave possible.
What happens when you surf the biggest wave in the world? Is there a time period where you just sit back and you're like, I did it? Or how quickly after that are you out there looking for something new, something bigger than what you've just accomplished? one of the most satisfying feelings

in surfing is pulling up to a wave that nobody's ever surfed and riding it for the first time. And all these waves that we know about and we've surfed or friends have surfed, they share with us what they're like and how they break.
But when you pull up to a spot by yourself with your buddy and you just start towing in the waves that have never been surfed, there's no feeling like it. It's just so uncharted territory and you don't know what you're getting yourself into.
And if everything goes right, it's just like getting the best barrel of your life. So is climate change affecting where the next big waves are going to be? Have you seen firsthand any evidence of like, okay, the waves here used to be a little bit smaller.
Now they're bigger. Are the waves over here getting a little bit smaller? Time to go find a new spot.
About 15, 20 years ago with a dissociationographer friend of mine, Pat Caldwell, we studied all the charts and all the swell data from like 1960. And there is really no rhyme or reason to the big days and how many big days are going to come in a year.
And there is El Nino and there is La Nina. El Nino usually has bigger waves in the Pacific and La Nina usually has bigger waves in the Atlantic, but there still is no rhyme or reason.
And you couldn't get one swell that's the biggest, but you didn't get 10 or 20 swells that year. And climate change, there's definitely different weather patterns going on.
I live on the beach in Hawaii for the last 10 years, and I've been monitoring the shoreline and the way that the swells are affecting it. And we had this really strange pattern of North swells for like five years all summer long, and it took our beach.
And last this year we had a bunch of West swells during the summer and the beach stayed. So, you know, I don't know if climate change is making any difference in the storms, but there's so much media and so much hype around all the storms that it really, everybody knows what's going on more everywhere.
So it seems like climate change is doing, and it could be, you know, the way that we're, what we're doing to mother earth and how we're just depleting her and just

taking and taking and taking and,

and not,

and putting so much waste into the environment that it seems like climate

change is a real thing,

but I can't really say that it's affecting the weather patterns.

Gotcha.

So you,

you just mentioned your son,

barrel.

I think you have two children or no,

you have, you have more than that. You have five kids, right? Six.
Six kids. Oh, wow.
Congrats. Well, that even speaks more to my question.
Five now with one on the way. One on the way.
Congratulations. Do you get scared? Do you have moments when you're out there and you're like, wait, I'm a father.
I don't, you know, I love surfing, but this is scary. I mean, I don't know.
I read a lot about you and that you are able to conquer your fear or basically just throw it away. But like, I would imagine that there's moments where you have to be scared of these waves.
No, if you're not ready, you haven't prepared. You know, you didn't train properly and you didn't get your lung.
For me, it's my lung capacity nowadays and a little bit of my shoulder injury still hold me back a teeny bit. But as long as you prepare, as long as I prepare and I know that I'm physically ready, then I'm not afraid at all.
But if I'm not physically ready to go into situations that I'm putting myself into, then I do tend to let fear and fear something we choose fears when we're thinking about the past or the, or the future, the past or the future, two things that don't exist. If we're in the moment, really just enjoying the moment, doing our best in the moment, then there is no fear.
But I tend lately, I've been letting fear consume me. I've been choosing to be afraid because I don't feel physically ready to go where I want to go.
So you do wrestle with fear. So what's the old point break quote? It's like, fear causes hesitation and hesitation will cause your worst fears to come true.
Do you like that? i mean it's a surfer movie i'm sure you've well it's more of a bank robbing movie that's an embrace debate like i don't know yeah it could be a christmas movie could be one or the other which one do you think what point break just a side tangent bank robbing movie or surfing movie a point right yeah is it bank robbing movie or surfing movie in your estimation a nice little mix. Yeah, but if you had to choose one.
It did a good job. It's really hard to put Hollywood in surfing because the actors, it doesn't work.
Big Wednesday, it worked. The movie The North Shore is pretty funny and it worked.
But Point Break probably was the closest. Blue Crush was all right, too.
Those are the two late recent movies, or not recent anymore, but those are the two movies that did pretty well of bridging the gap between Hollywood and surfing. So back to the fear thing.
What's the longest you've been thrown underwater? Like, what's the longest it has taken you to come up from a wave when you get tossed? I think it was last year here nazar i was down for like 35 seconds on one wave and i was down for 45 seconds on the second wave and uh it was uh i really enjoyed it it's in it's on episode six you enjoyed it wow okay i can do this wait so so talk us through like what happens when you get tossed you you're holding your breath you're like you're letting the wave take you and then when when the wave is kind of done has it ever been you swam the wrong direction or you didn't know which way you were facing uh when after you come up or when you finally come up you're dizzy you don't know which way is what you're you still going in circles. You're trying to gather your senses and it's all white.
It's usually all white. And then you're trying to figure out where the big white water is.
That's the next wave coming at you so you can get under it. And you're totally discombobulated.
You don't know which way is in and which way is out until it take, it doesn't take too long where you finally refocus,

recenter,

and then hopefully the next wave didn't roll over you already.

Yeah.

And when you,

when you go underwater,

if you get,

if you suffer a pretty severe wipeout,

you go under,

this might be a dumb question,

but it's because I've never surfed,

but I've always wondered,

are there times when you don't know which way is up and you're trying to get out of the wave, you're trying to get back to the air? Do you ever get actually disoriented when you're under the water itself? Every time. Luckily, nowadays, we have, not every time, but every time you get spun in different directions in the heavy wipeout, sometimes you'll go under a wave and it'll be nice and gentle and you'll get out the back.
Other times, most of the time, you you go down and then it just it's like a washing machine on spin cycle with king kong just like shaking it around and you don't know which way it's up luckily we have so much amazing flotation wetsuits flotation gear and inflation vest that we have underneath with body glove i've made the best flotation gear, and inflation vests that we have underneath. With Body Glove, I've made the best flotation suit there is.
And with Patagonia, they made the best inflation. And so we'll get pulled up.
Whether we know which way is up or not, we're getting pulled up. So then all of a sudden we figure it out.
Go ahead, Pia. What's the biggest wave that you've ever body surfed? You know, it's a funny fact that I'm kind of allergic to salt water.
What? I'm colon and I can't really sand the water that long, so I'm not much of a body surfer. Wait, you're allergic to salt water and you're a big wave surfer? You're a professional surfer.
Just try not to wipe out. As long as I'm above the water, I'm fine.
That's actually great motivation. Yeah, it's like, well, if I wipe out, I'm just going to be itchy, so I better stay on this damn board.
On the fear topic, I do agree with the point break quote, but it also keeps you sharp and focused if you're afraid to you don't you know like almost like a cat out of water or a cat you're just more sharp and more focused and it it helps you to make waves like when i don't have fear i almost surf with this carefree abandonment like oh yeah it's fine no problem if i wipe out problem if I wipe out. And then as long as you don't get hurt, it's fine.
But I've got a few injuries lately. So I'm really going to focus on not wiping out anymore and making my waves.
Before, I would focus on making my waves, but I would put it all on the line for that ultimate ride. I would go as deep as possible.
I'd wait till the last second. Like you can let go of that rope and you can run to the shoulder and make the wave easily.
Or you can let go of that rope and fade back. And then for lack of a better word, taunting and more of playing and dancing and complimenting and riding the wave the best that can be ridden.
And that's riding it as deep as possible, but making it. That's crazy.
So you, you, I, the one thing I, that struck me in your, in the docuseries is you're basically

like, listen, anyone. it as deep as possible but making it that's crazy so you you i the one thing i that struck me in

the docuseries is you're basically like listen anyone can surf but not anyone can surf big waves you have no interest in like a 30 foot wave you just you're you're out for the ultimate truly right you know if it's perfect these days i like perfect waves if the waves are perfect and they're 30 feet, I'll be out there and have enough time in my life. If it's 50, 60, 80, I'll be patient and waiting for the right days.
I didn't have patience in my younger days. In the last five years, I've learned to be patient and learned to wait and choose my days and my waves.
And I don't have to surf every wave anymore. Like there was a giant sw swell that just hit Tahiti and it was the biggest, best, one of the biggest, best days they've ever had.
I looked at it. I could have gotten on the plane.
I had the, you know, the resources to make it there and I chose not to. And my wife said, why did you tell me about that swell? I would have sent you.
And I'm like, I'm pretty happy right here. Back in the day day if I had the means to make it to that swell and I didn't go I would have been so depressed I would have been on suicide watch I would have been so angry so you know I don't know I guess um I'm learning practicing acceptance a lot more and practicing enjoying wherever I am and not having having to be on every wave every swell all over the world and i'm really focusing on nazaree and and when that giant day does come i don't want to be splattered on the reef and tahiti a week before the biggest swell ever came yes well you you don't want to die for many reasons but yeah i like that you're like i don't I don't want to be splattered on a reef, not because of my family and everyone who loves me.
No, because I might miss the next week, the biggest wave of all time. You realize what you just said is crazy.
I love it, but it is crazy. Yeah.
The family definitely entered the mind too. Okay.
All right. There we go.
There we go. I gave you an opening there.
So wait, you just said your younger days. What's the craziest back-to-back trip? Like you were in Australia one day and the next day you were here.
Because you chased waves everywhere. No matter what, if you had the resources, you'd get on a plane, you'd be there ready for that storm.
So what's the craziest stretch craziest like stretch you had or back to back days?

Well, first I was kind of like a hit man. I would, I would see this well coming.
I would fly there. I would surf it and I would leave the next day.
And so that was like my strategy, get there, get it, get out and get back to the family. And then we decided to try and work on surfing a wave that started in Hawaii and then we went over to Mavericks.

So we jawed Mavericks. We jawed Mavericks and then Total Santos, Mexico.
There's another one that we've been looking at. The swells start in the East Coast, actually more in the islands off of cuba there's storms that generate start there and then they spin towards puerto rico and then they go to florida and then they go up the coast all the way to new york and nova scotia and over towards ireland and then they come back to portugal and then they hit morocco where you can actually chase that storm and surf it as many times as possible.
If it's moving slow, you can surf it so many times. I like that.
Like following a band around the country. It's the greatest storm.
So you're going like island hopping, almost like getting ahead of the storm a little bit. Yeah, that's us.
We don't chase the storm. We get in front of the storm.
When people are boarding up their are boarding up their houses we're flying in yeah incredible so how high do you think the waves can get in nazareh huh you know i'd say on the perfect day it's got to be able to get at least 120 feet it's interesting though it seems that the bigger waves are a little further inside they're not the ones that go way outside. The ones in between first and second peak, there's this middle peak that just gets magnified and intensified with the current and with the wedge.
And it seems to be where the biggest peaks and it doesn't have to be the biggest swell. Now, we haven't really had a swell over 10 meters or over with the perfect

conditions i'm really interested and excited and can't wait we've had a lot of swells about 80 feet not much higher there could have been some 90 footers in there um it's when it gets a little bigger, it'll break.

Like, if it does

break further

out, it's a lot safer

wave. when it gets a little bigger, a little break, like if it does break further out, it's a lot safer wave and it could be a lot bigger, but I'm really interested to see what it does once it gets that big and breaks further out.
Now that I say it's a lot safer because it goes straight into the channel, into a thousand feet of water. So you'll finish the wave and it disappears.
That's on the right. If you go left, you finish the wave and there could be a hundred waves on your head.
It's crazy. It's crazy.
This has been awesome. We really appreciate it, Garrett.
Everyone go check out his book. It's Hound of the Sea.
His HBO docuseries, 100 Foot Wave, cannot recommend it enough. My last question before we let you go, is there a number in your mind in terms of height of a wave where you would say, if I do this wave, I'm done.
I'm retired. That's it.
I reached it. I reached the pinnacle.
I think 120 would do it, but I could only do that with my team and with Andrew Cotton is my number one. And if I'm not on it, I'd like to be putting him on it.
And, you know, I'm only as good as my team. My wife is always up there in the lighthouse with the walkie-talkie, ship-to-shore communication.
And, yeah, it's really what I'd like to say. It's really all about who you surround yourself with, the energy you choose to surround yourself with, with your team and we all know the team can be two or three people or it can be a hundred people depending on your program wow yep incredible well thank you so much garrick best of luck on this swell coming up and uh everyone go check out the docuseries by the book because uh fascinating but the the baddest ass guy we've ever had on this show.
You guys are too much butter. Too much butter.
Well, good luck. Thanks so much.
I'll take it. I'll take it.
And I hope you guys come to Nazarene. I'm telling you, come to Nazarene.
I'll take you out on the skis and you will love it. No, thank you.
I'll take a rain check on that one. Alright, see you man.
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All right, let's wrap up.

We've got Fyre Fest of the Week, then we'll send everyone along.

A reminder, college football show, pregame show,

is live from 1200 South Lakeshore Drive in Chicago for Wisconsin-Notre Dame.

Also Sunday we'll be at Aurora.

Then I'll be flying back for Sunday's show. So, Hank, your FireFest of the week.
Uh-oh. No, I don't.
My FireFest, I've said this probably a few times over the years, just sometimes I do have a FireFest, and then sometimes weeks like this where I don't really have anything, I feel like it delegitimizes my real FireFest when I just kind force one you could have one though he's trying to think positively you know what you could do like my biggest fire fest the thing that like is the biggest trouble in my life is you guys so it's like what oh wow okay my fire fest is that hank is mad at it's about no here's here's what my fire fest is hank's mad is about something but he won't tell us what it is no no, no, no. There's nothing wrong.
It's like day-to-day my life is great. The only time I catch heat is when I come in and you guys are just like, oh.
What is that? What is that? What do we do? Can you explain what blah blah blah is? Hank, did your trainer get beat up today? Hank, we haven't said anything like that today. No, the week.
I asked you if your trainer beat you up yesterday. Do you want me to stop asking you how you played when you golf? I am genuinely curious how you played when you golf.
It's like a normal thing to ask someone. But yesterday, you're like, what did you play? And I was like, I didn't even play.
Were you not playing yesterday? playing yesterday was a simulator i took a lesson oh okay so i i will never bring up golf again no i didn't what's your swing coach's name i'm sorry i apologize i literally wanted to ask my point was that again sounds like i was not saying that conscious about playing too much golf no i'm not that I... There's no...
Again, my entire point of this is I have no Fyre Fest. Everything's all good.
If there was one thing that would be a... He'd have a new job and work with different coworkers.
Yes. He hates our guts.
Okay. And we never want...
All right. Well, you guys are getting old anyway.
I'll never... Yeah.
I mean, Billy is why Billy's here. Can you stop at that? Like, seriously.
I mean, you started that i didn't i was i was basically you know what's crazy is that for the first time in a really long time life expectancy in the u.s has gone down oh and so billy's cover though no i think it was before cover it went down but it's definitely ticked down further this year billy's definitely looking at us like, yeah, those two. That's idiots like us for not

going to the dentist. Yep.
Yeah, that's why

Billy's like, just don't go. Yeah, just don't go.

Hank, I will no longer ask you

about your golf game or your

training game or anything

ever. Okay.

Great. Great.

So your swing coach, you said, was named Daniela?

Dan. Or Danny.

Shout out to Dan. With an eye.
Five iron golf.

Great place. Alright.
Nice.

That's it? I would comment

I'm going allowed to. No, you're allowed to pick it.
You can do and say whatever you want. No, I don't.
Are you going to make a series? You should try to break 100. I don't think you can do it.
I'm staying out of this. I don't converse on your golf game.

I didn't ask.

See, this is where, again, this is an example.

I was genuinely being like a friend, being like, how'd you golf?

And I didn't really make it. All I said was like, that was just an example of like, you guys were just like, oh.

Okay, got it.

So I'll cut out the, oh.

I did love the impression, though.

That's what I walk into.

Do it one more time. Hey, what's up, guys? How are you doing? Is there anything I can do for you? Hey, cool.
Time out. Time out.
Wait, Big Cat just actually did it. Time out.
Well, hey, for the impression, Big Cat, you made the noise. Yeah, time out.
I don't think you've ever, in the decade that I've known, you walked in saying, hey, what's up, guys? Anything I can do for you? Well, yeah, because you well yeah you've already done it i'm like hey here's the stuff here you go here's your coffee here's your water oh yeah you're always getting that yeah oh okay it's the best for the prep sheets i'll be i'll be better on not asking you about i did ask you to be better i think you're great i think you're perfect oh thanks appreciate so i'm not asking you to do that so don't you to be better. I think you're great.
I think you're perfect. Oh, thanks.
Appreciate it. So I'm not asking you to do that.
So don't act like I did ask that. You don't actually think we're perfect.
That's another one of your lies. Well, it's perfect.
Oh. What am I? You're nice.
All right, PFT. My Firefest of the week is ice.
It's maybe a very relatable Firefest because I set a goal and I didn't reach it. Oh, no.
I failed at a goal. September? All the people out there that said, you know, it's better to set goals because even if you don't accomplish your goals, you still will have accomplished something.
They're full of shit. Fuck those people.
so I said at the start of the summer I was going to learn the entire Freebird solo,

which I battled through, including a pretty much broken finger,

trying to learn how to play it, and I was not able to do it.

Summer ended two days ago.

Damn.

And I was not able to do the entire thing.

I'm like 80% of the way there, 90% of the way there,

but I can't play it all the way through,

and it feels bad not being able to achieve a goal. So let this be a lesson to everybody.
Don't try. Yep.
Ever. That's a very good lesson.
At anything. Yeah, because then you can fail.
All right, my Fyre Fest. Well, I had a Fyre Fest, but I can't use it now because I have to be nice to Hank.
No, see that. No, it says who? No, my can't lose parlay.
Hank got in my head about the Steelers. So it's guaranteed that the one I submitted is going to win and the one that everyone's going to bet is going to lose.
So whatever. It's fine.
What's the one you submitted? It was Steelers, Cardinals, Chiefs, all to win, and over 48.5 in the Bucs-Rams game. I switched it.
Now it is Ravens, Cardinals, Chiefs to win, and the over 47.5 in the Bucs-Rams game. J-God.
Yeah, it's fucked. But you know what? It's about the friends we made along the way Agreed Yeah, so we're good We're Gucci So Gucci Insanely Gucci Billy, your fire fest of the week So I finally figured out how to pay my power bill But turns out Turns out the person who's living where I'm living now didn't pay their power bill for the whole year.

So it was a common problem.

The person who moved in the year before me didn't know how to pay their power bill.

But anyway, the power company thinks that I've been living there for the past year.

So I have to figure out a way to prove that I just moved in.

Let's go fuck them. Besides my lease.
I need to way to prove that I just moved in. Let's go fuck him.
Besides

my lease. I need to

prove to them that I didn't live there.

Haven't you been blogging your move

with Ben Mintz? Can you submit

a blog as evidence? I don't know.

But that's the type of paperwork type stuff

that I really... Have them just call me.

At the barn, didn't you? No,

I didn't. That's why.
There's no

previous lease. Have them call me and I'll just be like, yeah, it was really annoying when he lived an hour away and he was never here.
And I'll just get mad and then they'll be like, all right, this guy's telling the truth. Okay.
But it's like weird. I have to submit paperwork.
Yeah, I got you. Just have him call me.
Paperwork stresses me out. Paperwork is the worst thing in the world.
Just like writing. Anything.
Any paperwork ever. And like submitting several documents.
It's awful. Do you know who the old guy's name was? Yes, because I sometimes get his mail.
Don't open it. I leave it.
Mail frog. You got to sign that guy up for a bunch of weird shit.
You got to put him on all the mailing lists. Yes.
You got to get back at him. Or why don't you just keep going what he's been doing and then make the next person pay your late bill i know they would have never known if it wasn't for me being a good citizen yeah yeah it's fucked up all right tell him to call me i'll figure it out for you i promise i promise i i actually would love to get in a fucking argument online no i'm serious like if you can get me on i don't want to i want to be on hold but if you can get me call...
If you can get me someone on the phone, I would love, love, love to get in a good fucking sparring match. No, it's more like I got to submit several documents to prove it when I only have one.
Okay. All right.
I will help, though. I officially will help.
Jake? My fire fest is that my building constantly leaks from the roof. It just feels like it's raining all the time when you're walking in it.
Is that a metal offer? Wait, where? In your apartment? No, you're walking inside. So you're out on the street on the corner of the apartment.
Oh, onto the street. Yes.
Got it. Mystery water is one of the finer things about living in the city of New York.
At the Starbucks next to our office, there's a fucking air conditioner right above the door, and I got drenched today. You just get wet every time you walk in.
It's awful. I'm not going to say it, Jake.
I know where you're going with that one. But yeah, I get wet.
You do get wet. Jake, I didn't know you like to get wet.
All right, Billy, anything that we missed? Yeah, the fire on top of the Saints Stadium was caused by a pressure washer that exploded due to the gasoline getting too hot on the top. All right.
I know that was something that we were concerned about. We didn't mention it on the show, but I figured it out.
I took a note. So they fix it? Yeah.
The fire's out. One guy got minor burns.
Okay. Thoughts and prayers.
Okay. So Zach Wilson and Trevor Lawrence, and they're both in their two starts, have less picks than Peyton Manning did in his first two starts.
There we go. Yeah.
Huge. Huge.
All right. That it? I'm not a drug guy.
Okay. Good to point out.
Yeah. Didn't ask, but that's a good point out.
Billy Eightball. Yeah.
No. No.
Don't. Stop.
Don't start that, PFD. Stop.
What was it? Billy Eightball. Don't start that.
My weight loss has nothing to do with drugs. But.
Okay. Numbers.
97. Eight.
94? Six. 18.
69. Groundhogs are the same as woodchucks.
Duh. One! What? Oh, you know what this means.
I mean, if you don't bet on the Bears after we just pulled one in Justin Fields, number one.

Come on.

The signs, they're everywhere.

That's not Scorigami, is it, Jake?

Third time.

Wow.

Love you guys.

Lions, Tigers, and Bears parlay. I lost my heart that I'm talking away I don't know what I'm to say I'm saying anyway Today is another day to find you Shying away I'll be coming for your love again Shying away I'll be coming for your love again.
Shine away. I'll be coming for your love again.
Take on me. Take me on.
I'll be gone. a day of change Needless to say I'm all dissenting But I'll be so little way Learning, learning, life is okay Say I'm all dissenters, but I'll be stolen away Slowly learning that life is okay Say after me, it's no better to be safe than sorry Say after me, it's no better to be safe than sorry Take on me

Take me on I'll be gone In a day of dreams All the things that you say

Is it delightful

Just to play my worries away

You're all the things I've got to remember

You're shying away

I'll be coming for you anyway

You're shying away

Thank you. I've got to remember He's shying away I'll be coming for you anyway He's shying away I'll be coming for you anyway Take on me Take me on.

I'll be gone.

In a day.