CFB Week 1 With Andy Staples, Larry 6 Has Died, & Mt Rushmore Of Ref Calls

Speaker 1 Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
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Speaker 4 On today's part of my take, we have college football back.

Speaker 4 Andy Staples on the show, show recapping a wild first week in college football talking about all of it great to see fans in the stands great to have wall-to-wall football we're gonna break it all down we have uh who's back of the week oh look there's cower at the us open looking nice pick cower looking good cow that's see the kind of shirt that he's wearing right now we're just doing

Speaker 4 the the mock turtleneck polo shirt yeah it's an old coach's move for sure it's been a while cower should get his name back out in there you know every now and then when you're trying to look for a pay increase.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Bill Cower is like, you know what? He's been watching film in the mountains of North Carolina for the last three years.
He's ready. Come back.
Yeah. All right.
So we have who's back of the week?

Speaker 4 We have Mount Rushmore of referee

Speaker 4 calls. No, calls.
Yeah. Referee calls.
I fucked that up. Referee calls.
So anything a referee does in any of the sports. And it's going to be a great show.

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Speaker 4 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 4 Now in the street, there is violence.

Speaker 4 And then a lot of solid work to be done.

Speaker 4 No place to hang out or washing.

Speaker 4 And then I can't blame all on the sun. Oh, no, we're gonna rock it down to Electric Avenue.

Speaker 4 Pardon my take presented by Barcelona Sports.

Speaker 4 Welcome to Part of My Take presented by Dave and Busters. The best place to watch a football game this fall.
Today is Tuesday, September 7th, and Larry the Goldfish is dead. That fat bitch.

Speaker 4 This is where I should say something emotional, something sad about Larry Six passing away. Longest living Larry, three years.
And one day. Also the fattest living Larry.
I'll say nothing for it.

Speaker 4 I'll say something.

Speaker 4 Larry the Goldfish. Wait, keep playing that.
Keep playing that. Larry the Goldfish

Speaker 4 was a fish.

Speaker 4 And

Speaker 4 he lived for a period of time. Mm-hmm.
Yep. That's about it.
He was a goldfish. He was a goldfish.
And his name was Larry. You know what?

Speaker 4 I'm going to say something nice about Larry the Goldfish, Larry Six.

Speaker 4 Larry Six,

Speaker 4 his only purpose in the world was proving to all the haters and PETA that our fishes don't die suddenly and quickly. And now that he's dead, he has no purpose whatsoever.
I'll say something nice.

Speaker 4 Because that was it. We literally just pointed to it.

Speaker 4 Larry the Goldfish number six was so boring that he actually made me want to get back into doing more Larry the Goldfish content with whatever Larry the Goldfish would follow up after him.

Speaker 4 Larry the Six

Speaker 4 was a stupid fat fuck.

Speaker 6 And now we can say Lucky Larry 7.

Speaker 4 Lucky Larry 7. There it is.
Larry Sevens are always lucky. And also, here's another nice thing about Larry Six.
I've done two nice things.

Speaker 4 One was that he just existed so that we could point to him and say, hey, not all of our fish die in like three weeks.

Speaker 4 Again, he now is irrelevant because that was his only purpose is to just stay alive and fat.

Speaker 4 And then the other thing I'll say nice about Larry Six is that he died at a perfect time.

Speaker 4 He didn't wait till week two or week three. We didn't have to go through the whole, oh, Larry Six, you're still here.
No, he died before football started. So I appreciate that from Larry.

Speaker 4 I think Larry knew that it was time.

Speaker 4 He could feel it. And

Speaker 4 I just like spatting it. I don't think that it's worthwhile for me to stay around for another season.

Speaker 4 Spider was his best friend. So I do feel bad for Spider a little bit because, really, that's he was his only friend.
Just so everyone's clear, we're not talking about an actual spider.

Speaker 4 Because that is confusing to spider. Some people will definitely listen to that and be like, wait, a spider was your goldfish's friend?

Speaker 6 Someone say that the only reason he lasted so long was because Spider was taking care of him and not you guys.

Speaker 4 No, yeah, he did a great job taking care of him. He was his best friend.
And I felt bad for Spider until I saw Spider walk into the office today. And then he saw Larry.

Speaker 4 He's like, well, I guess Larry's dead. So it kind of rolled right off Spider's back like water off a duck.
It probably is a relief to Spider because his entire paycheck was going to feeding Larry.

Speaker 4 That fat fuck. That fat fuck.
He was so fucking fat.

Speaker 4 So yeah, Larry, whatever.

Speaker 4 He's done. We got a new one coming.
We're getting a new Larry. Let's start doing picks.
I don't even know if we're going to do another goldfish.

Speaker 4 I'd be down to branch out to maybe a different type of a shark. A shark.
A baby shark. A baby shark.
Oh, a baby shark would be good. Wait, no, but Hank actually said that we need to find something.

Speaker 4 That's exactly

Speaker 4 how part of my take works for people who are always like, hey, what's it like, you know, behind the scenes?

Speaker 4 Hank, just before we started taping this, said, we have to make sure that the next fish is small so we can use it to pick games with the net.

Speaker 4 And then we turn on the cameras and we're like, how about a shark? There are small sharks out there. Billy knows.
How about

Speaker 4 piranhas? Yeah, we could. Oh, no.
Oh, yeah, okay, yeah.

Speaker 4 You want to get a piranha? I like it. I get a piranha.
And then, oh, we could, yeah, we could put like actual meat into the tank. The Falcons win the Super Bowl.
Put my pinky in there. There you go.

Speaker 4 Just let it gnaw it off.

Speaker 4 They're dime size for $5 in Bayonne, New Jersey. Wait, but do they stay alive? Yeah.
That sounds like dime size.

Speaker 4 No, quarter size. Like,

Speaker 4 they just got bigger in two seconds. Are they round? Why do you keep using like surface coins?

Speaker 4 It's a yarn. Is someone just selling you coins in a tank and telling you that they are fish? Just write shark on the side of it.
Billy's like, I got this new sick yellow fin.

Speaker 4 I'm absolutely getting a piranha.

Speaker 4 You know what, Billy, that you were made for this moment. You were made to be our fish guy.
Yeah, no, Hank. Don't shake your head.
Don't fucking shake your head. Is it unethical?

Speaker 4 You ask me a question and I answer the question. Like, to become like the Michael Vick of fish? No, I think that's totally fine.
It's actually highly illegal. Oh, it is? Siamese fighting fish.

Speaker 4 Oh, okay. Oh, you can't say that.
Conjoined. Yeah.
Wait, but why is that illegal?

Speaker 4 You can't fight fish. Why? It's illegal.
But you can eat them. Who said? Who said? PETA.

Speaker 4 No, PETA's not the law. PETA's not the law.
Yeah, since when does Billy start respecting?

Speaker 4 No, because they used to do it illegally in Chinatown, and they had to ban it because there was a lot of crime syndicates. We keep asking Billy questions.
He's going to get deeper into something else.

Speaker 4 No, there's crime syndicates. Let's just get like a

Speaker 4 purple fish. Okay.
Purple fish. Or like pink or like something.
A pink fish. Colorful.
Let's get a beta fish. Yeah.
There's glow-in-the-dark fish. Okay, let's get one of those.
Yeah, let's go.

Speaker 4 Yeah, do Larry's picks in the dark.

Speaker 4 That'd be sick.

Speaker 4 Billy, back to just not being able to fight fish. You fuck frogs.
Allegedly. What about an eel? Could we get an eel? Eels creep me out.
No thanks. Octopus? A loach.
Octopus?

Speaker 4 I saw the octopus teacher. I love octopuses now, not octopi.

Speaker 4 Octopussies. Yeah.

Speaker 4 All right, yeah, football's back, though. So we've already forgotten about Larry.
And college football. College football's back.
We'll figure out the Larry situation.

Speaker 4 It was awesome to watch a full slate of college football with fans in the stands. Everything about it was fucking, it just ruled.
Saturday, that, like,

Speaker 4 last year was football, but I didn't realize how much we missed last year until this Saturday. And I was like, wow, look at all of these games.
All these fans. Chaos everywhere.

Speaker 4 The Badgers are already dead. It just, just football's back.
Football is great. I pulled a rookie move, though, on Saturday.
Lost a charge by like 3 p.m. Oh, you can't do that.

Speaker 4 So charge ran out real early. Nah.
And the phone goes through cycles because you can upgrade your phone like once every two years. Then you get that new sweet battery going.

Speaker 4 Forgot about last year was not my year for an upgrade. So now I've got like a dead phone and there's no you feel like you're just stranded on an island.
Yeah, no.

Speaker 4 I feel like I was Tom Hanks in Castaway after post-3 p.m. when I couldn't refresh Twitter every 20 seconds.

Speaker 4 I don't leave my house on a Saturday or Sunday in the fall without a big clunky charger in my pocket. I go old school.
I'm not talking about like the Mopi or anything.

Speaker 4 I'm literally like, just find me a plug. I just need a plug.
I'll fucking plug this thing in. I'll leave it with anyone.
It's the best thing in football season. Like, everyone has their phone.

Speaker 4 It's probably your most prized possession.

Speaker 4 It has all of your information on it.

Speaker 4 But when it comes to a gambling Saturday or Sunday, I will hand my phone over to a bartender who does not give a fuck about it and be like, here, put it next to the blender and the margarita mixer and a bunch of ice.

Speaker 4 I don't care. I just need to get some juice so I can get some bets in.
One time my server was like, yeah, no problem. I'll get it charged for you, but it's $50 an hour.
And I was like, yeah, done.

Speaker 4 Whatever. And she was like, I'm just joking.
But that was a joke. I was like, 100%.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Try the hard bargain.
You talked your way out of it because I was going to pay. No questions asked.
All right. So let's talk some games real quick.
We have Andy Stables.

Speaker 4 We're going to break down everything.

Speaker 4 Clems and Georgia was a snooze fest, but Georgio gets their big win. Kirby Smart gets the monkey off his back, kind of.

Speaker 4 I feel like Kirby Smart did a lot, not just for himself, but for Kirby's worldwide latest win. Like, he's got to be the most successful person

Speaker 4 in this century named Kirby Smart. Well, you forget about the cartoon guy.

Speaker 4 No, Kirby's Dreamland. I'm counting him.
Yeah, no, he's number one. No, Kirby's Super Smash Bro.
Yeah, yeah. He's number one.
But Kirby hasn't really done much since 2008. But he's still number one.

Speaker 4 Kirby was great. He was just...
Was he an animal? Was he a ghost winner?

Speaker 4 He was like a ghost marshmallow that just swallowed everything up yeah but every time I see Kirby Smart you do think about Kirby the big blob and the fatter his cheeks get the more that his visor pushes his his fat face out a little bit yeah you start it it doesn't look great for him but every now and again it's good to see Kirby win one yeah because like he started he started to get that whole label of like it's kind of like Mark Rick when he coached at Georgia just everyone that coaches there if you don't beat Alabama then you become the this guy can't win the big one game yes this was big for him this is big for kirby's Worldwide.

Speaker 4 It was big for Kirbys Worldwide. Uh, the Badgers fell on their face.
I'm still, I'm still gonna believe in Graham Mertz. I'm not gonna get off this uh train.
Uh, that sucked, though.

Speaker 4 But you know what? In a weird way, I was sitting there on Saturday around 3:30 and I was like, guess what? Losing the first game. My only real takeaway is like the first game

Speaker 4 change that they've made where you have to play conference opponents sucks. I don't like it.

Speaker 4 I really liked starting the season against like South Florida or UNLV or Akron or someone and putting up like 60 points and not even having to turn my brain on until like the third or fourth week of September.

Speaker 4 I don't like this.

Speaker 4 What I love about those games is every single fan base out there of like a decent school gets to spend, you get an entire bonus week of getting to claim that your team is really, really good this year.

Speaker 4 I want to. And then you get to compare resumes and you're like, yeah, well, we beat College of Charleston by 55 points.
Oh, yeah, well, we beat Western Kentucky by 61 points.

Speaker 4 Then you have to go back and forth and figure out what that conversion rate is. Yes.
And each fan base can get a claim to, yeah, we should be ranked higher than we are right now.

Speaker 4 I miss that. I want the cupcakes.
I want the cupcakes back. Cupcakes are delicious.
I don't know why we ever look down on cupcakes.

Speaker 4 Starting all of September and just eating a shitload of cupcakes is a great way to start the college football season. But yeah,

Speaker 4 the Badgers losing the first game is a weird thing because it's like, all right, well, now I can't be let down because it's already happened.

Speaker 4 So I'm sure they'll find a way to get back in it to then let me down. But I'm like, calmly at peace.
I was like, well, that was,

Speaker 4 it's almost the, it's the,

Speaker 4 what's Homer Simpson's dad's name? Abe Simpson? Abe, Abe Simpson. Yeah, it's the walking in and walking out.
Like, that was my, that was my 2021 Wisconsin Badger season.

Speaker 4 I walked in, oh, okay, and then walked out, done. Well, it's like, kill me fast.
Yeah. Don't torture me.
Don't William Wallace me.

Speaker 4 Don't make me last an entire season getting drawn and quartered until you finally decide to cut my head off. Like, do it immediately if you're going to do it at all.

Speaker 4 My big complaint about week one is that I wish that Notre Dame had won more convincingly so that we could get the narrative of Notre Dame being.

Speaker 4 This is the year where they're actually going to challenge some of the big boys, but they ended up winning in overtime. They won by three points, which

Speaker 4 you could make the argument that that's a win for Florida State, given the expectations for where they were. And Mackenzie Milton was an awesome story.

Speaker 4 Joe Tessator, I think, used the word catastrophic 75 times.

Speaker 4 It was a very significant knee injury that he suffered, and it was an awesome thing that he was like back in there.

Speaker 4 It was basically the college football version of Alex Smith. He hadn't played in three years.
He came back. He looked good.

Speaker 4 Also, shout out the ghost of Bobby Bowden. So everyone was saying Bobby Bowden broke up that last

Speaker 4 pass in regulation to put Notre Dame into field goal range.

Speaker 4 I feel like if that was Bobby Bowden, he wasted it at the wrong

Speaker 4 on like a third down conversion. Like,

Speaker 4 why wouldn't you just wait till overtime? I don't know. Whatever.
Either way, shout out the ghost of Bobby Bowden. A lot of people were saying that he broke that pass up.
Okay, I like that.

Speaker 4 Which, yeah, you know, it always makes you feel good. But then they lost, so he must have just turned the TV off up in heaven.

Speaker 4 Yeah, if you're going to be using your ghost play, I feel like if you're dead, you get probably like one ghost play a year.

Speaker 4 That's what you get in the afterlife.

Speaker 4 I would personally wait to use my ghost play on a game-winning play. So, like, if they're kicking a field goal to tie the game, I'd like fart out real quick and blow it wide right.

Speaker 4 I would do the ghost play.

Speaker 4 It's got to be like, or like a kick return or a pick six, not literally the guy just caught the ball and dropped it because Bobby Bowden broke it up, but it was third down, and then they went to overtime and lost anyway.

Speaker 4 I would it's just maybe Bobby Bowden. Like, if you want to put this on his coaching resume, I think he's one of the greatest coaches of all time.

Speaker 4 But if you're going to say that was a ghost play, that has to go on his resume. So he's 0-1 as a ghost.
Correct.

Speaker 4 But like it's a quality loss. Yeah, no, it's not a bad loss.
Yeah, it's like to be expected. He outperformed the expectation for his ghost in week one.
It's not like Washington losing to Montana. No.

Speaker 4 Or Vanderbilt losing to, I think, East Tennessee.

Speaker 4 Shout out Kansas, by the way, who rushed the field after they beat an FCS team. After they beat an FCS team.
You know what? For Kansas, I say just let them do what they want.

Speaker 4 Let Kansas feel good about themselves for at least one week because I don't know when they get to play against Texas and beat them.

Speaker 4 But that's really besides the annual upset of Texas, the highlight of your year.

Speaker 4 Going back to the ghost play, I agree with the kick return for a touchdown. Yeah, it's cool.

Speaker 4 But the better way is if they're returning a kick for a touchdown and they trip. Daniel Jones.
Yeah, they do the trip on the 18-yard line. Then you're like, Bobby stuck his foot out.
Yes.

Speaker 4 I like that. Yeah, so Bobby,

Speaker 4 if you're listening to this, which I sure you are, because

Speaker 4 you're not only

Speaker 4 an AWO in life. Oh, wow.
Louisville's terrible.

Speaker 4 He was an AWO in life, but we are the number one ghost podcast out there.

Speaker 4 Sports ghost podcast. We respect ghosts.
We've had the most ghost guests on our show of any podcast. Tommy Lasorde is listening to this right now.
That I know. Dodgers look good, Tommy.

Speaker 4 Also, shout out Brian Kelly, the Brian Kelly Comedy Jam after the game. So there was not.
So you want to put that clip in, actually?

Speaker 7 Think of your team's ability to withstand Florida State's impressive comeback.

Speaker 4 Yeah,

Speaker 4 you know, I'm in favor of execution.

Speaker 4 Maybe our entire team needs to be executed after tonight. I mean, we just didn't execute very well.
Brian Kelly's problem was you never want to set up your own joke. Like, that's the problem.

Speaker 4 He tried to set himself up, and that's where he failed. Well, you can hear the change in his voice and on his face as he's delivering the punchline.

Speaker 4 And he's thinking to himself, I really fucked this one up. Right.
I'm not a funny guy.

Speaker 4 Whose idea was it?

Speaker 4 What part of my brain told me that now would be a good time to make a joke because he's his delivery is just it's awful and then the uh we talked about like a couple weeks ago the ted lasso uh human centipede that's what happened here because no one was actually upset because everyone knew that he was quoting someone else and then people got upset at a fake perceived upset like dan woken tweeted like people are upset about like nothing because no one's actually upset.

Speaker 4 I'm like, dude, you're saying that? Yeah.

Speaker 4 You're the fake outrage.

Speaker 4 I'll say that there's like, of all the coaches in the FBS, he's probably

Speaker 4 the one with the highest percentage when he says that joke. Correct.
Where it's like, maybe he's serious. Right.
But still, it's like 99.99999. Saban, maybe.
Yeah. Sabin, yeah.
Maybe.

Speaker 4 Because he never got caught. Right.
We don't know. Right.

Speaker 4 He might execute his entire team. Saban's probably killed, but the body of evidence isn't as big as it is against Brian Kelly.
Hey, shout out Nick Sabin. He is finally cracking some smiles.

Speaker 4 He put on that leather helmet after they whooped Miami, which Alabama's at the point now, too, where we're going to talk to Andy Staples about

Speaker 4 LSU. We're not dodging it.
We're going to talk to him about LSU.

Speaker 4 Saban's at the point now where he doesn't even care who they schedule to start the season.

Speaker 4 It's like, oh, okay, we're just going to go to Atlanta or we're going to go to New Orleans or we're going to go to Jerry's World and we're going to kick the shit out of somebody.

Speaker 4 I have an addiction that I'm trying to recover from. I'm addicted to being wrong about Alabama every single year in week one or whenever they play their first opponent.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 You know, like, I know, I know in my heart of hearts that Alabama is still a wagon. They're still going to dominate any team, especially a team like the U.
But I'm always like,

Speaker 4 I don't want to be one year late on my take about Alabama. And so I keep going back.
I keep falling forward. It's like Lucy pulling the fucking football out from Charlie Brown every year.

Speaker 4 And don't get me wrong, I never thought that Alabama was going to lose this game. I just thought maybe Miami

Speaker 4 would cover the spread. Yeah, yeah, and everyone every year.
Yeah, Derek King, that's such a sweet name. They've got the turnover chain.

Speaker 4 You also don't want to be a year late on being like Miami's back, the used back.

Speaker 4 So it was like a perfect storm of just my brain fighting a useless, winless battle against itself that happens every year in week one or two. Yeah, they're always so fucking good.
All right,

Speaker 4 also about Mercer.

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah, let's say that in a second.

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Speaker 4 Oh, yes. So,

Speaker 4 Saban, in Sabin is so bored with, like football at this point that he had a press conference talking about next week's opponent, and he said they're a different kind of offensive team, Sabin said of Mercer, which essentially is like they're a different kind of offensive team.

Speaker 4 They will not score on us no matter what. They're a different team from the, like, he's just stating facts right now.
Right. The team that we played this weekend is different from Mercer.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I will say, looking at Mercer's schedule, they did beat Point University 69-0 last week. A different kind of team.
A different kind of team.

Speaker 4 Oh, and they also, the kicker missed the extra point that would have made it 70 to nothing, right? Yes. And then the kicker was like, you're welcome for the nice score, bringing back 69 jokes.

Speaker 4 Oh, that's right. I forgot about that story.
Yeah. I think you're only.
I think he's a Barstool athlete. You're only allowed.
Yeah, that would be a good idea. No, he is.

Speaker 4 I think that's how he responded.

Speaker 4 You're only allowed to make 69 jokes if you're actually the athlete that makes that score happen. That creates.
Besides that, you're a cop on the internet. Yes.

Speaker 4 Or Rob Gronkowski. He's just grandfathered in.
Shout out Arkansas, by the way. They get my spread champion of the week.
Did you see that game?

Speaker 4 They were down 17-7 halfway through the third quarter, and they covered a 19-point spread. I did not see that because

Speaker 4 it's insane. Okay, keep them in the tickler file.
Keep them in the same spot. They're going to get whooped by Texas this week, probably, even though I do love the Must Bus.

Speaker 4 And Sam Pittman is a Sam Pittman, is like a

Speaker 4 Walmart version of Coach O. And I mean that in a nice way.
I'm not trying to be mean about it. I actually love him, but he's kind of like that.
He's got

Speaker 4 a very funny, gregarious way about him. It's awesome.

Speaker 4 My goddamn it, you piece of shit. What the fuck are you thinking? You ruined the spread for me of the week.
Goes to, I'm going to give it PJ Fluck. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 4 For not understanding math, like a fucking idiot. Yeah, you got to go for two.
You got to go for two at the end of the game.

Speaker 4 We didn't get to talk about that because it was on Thursday night, I think after we taped, that game started.

Speaker 4 But I'm convinced, no matter what, that CJ Stroud will always suck at quarterback just because of how poorly he played in the first half. But his guys are so good.
I know. I know, but

Speaker 4 trust me, I will not get off this take. take.
It's burned. It's seared into my brain

Speaker 4 from watching just how bad he was in that first half. And then you're right.
Just like the people that he's thrown to are all very, very good. Yeah, Chris Olave is so awesome.
So, yeah,

Speaker 4 that was a very

Speaker 4 perfect Ohio State. Oh, is Ohio State going to be had this year? And then.
Nope. Nope.
They're really fucking good, as usual.

Speaker 4 Any other college football thoughts? Anything? Anyone else? Anyone? Anyone? Rutgers is back. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Oh, shout out, you mass. They got Liam.
What do they? Oh, they got. Did they get goose egged?

Speaker 6 No,

Speaker 4 they hit the over. They scored seven points.
Liam texted me. They're like, you can't believe it.
Pitt's the worst offensive team ever. And they somehow.

Speaker 6 Pitt had a third and goal from like the 23 when I was looking at it.

Speaker 4 And I was like, against UMass. I was like, I love college.
It's so football. It's the best.
Shout out to Randy Edsel.

Speaker 4 We get into it a little bit with Andy Staples, but Big Cat and I did not realize that he had gone back on his initial claim. And after that loss, Randy Edsel said

Speaker 4 it was the ultimate PR 101. I'm going to retire after this year is over, hoping that that would save his job through the end of the year.
And just saying, like, you don't have to fire me, I'll quit.

Speaker 4 But at the end of the year, and then about 12 hours later, he's like, actually, just kidding, I think I'm fired. So, like,

Speaker 4 great job, UConn, sniffing out that masterful PR move by Randy Edsel. You're like, no, you don't get to say that.
Did you see some of the names that were floated around?

Speaker 4 Dan Orlofsky was on the list, which I don't really understand because I have to imagine that ESPN pays him more than UConn would. Jeff Fisher? Definitely.
Jeff Fisher should be on there.

Speaker 4 Ooh, I like that. Rob Ryan.
Why not? Jim Calhoun. Why not? Jim Calhoun would probably get them back to glory.
I actually the BCS. Yes, I think so.
Yeah. Absolutely.
He could. Let's see.
Who else?

Speaker 4 Yukon.

Speaker 4 Who's the biggest celebrity in the history of UConn? What are you going to say? What are you going to say? Go ahead, Billy.

Speaker 4 Aaron Ernest is his older brother. Oh, okay.
Well, it's his older brother. Right.
There it is. Nice.

Speaker 4 Yes. He stole plays, remember? Yeah.
I mean, you could get some great ghost plays out of LAH. Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 4 All right.

Speaker 4 He would choke away everything. Should we talking soccer real quick? Because the U.S.
sucks. Well, we've got two.
I mean, we should just say it. I vote no.
We've got two draws. Two draws.

Speaker 4 Well, we got to, because I just want to say.

Speaker 4 Well, fine. All I want to say is it would be a shame.
It feels like the shame is starting to take place. It would be a shame.
Here's what's up. Right now we can blame it.

Speaker 4 We didn't have our best squad out there in either game. A shame.
No GM.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's a qualifiers for the World Cup. A shame.
It would be a shame.

Speaker 6 Let's talk tennis. It wants to do tennis now.

Speaker 4 We already did. Bill Cowers there.

Speaker 4 That was a lot of talking.

Speaker 4 This is Canada's best team in like 40 years. So there you go.
It's their golden generation.

Speaker 4 I think that they're ranked number like 45 in the world. So it's the best team Canada's ever put out.
I just wanted to say it's a shame. Just so that I'm on the record.

Speaker 4 I feel like some people think I'm trolling. I'm saying it's a shame if we don't make the World Cup again.

Speaker 4 I'm sure that if we just tied every single game in qualification and then we won the play-in game, then I think that would be enough to get us there. Yes.
All right, let's do who's back of the week.

Speaker 4 Actually, you know what? What?

Speaker 4 I'm just getting pre-spin zoned for this. I don't want to play in Cutter.

Speaker 4 All the human rights abuses going on over there. And during football season? During football, it's mostboardly.
But it's probably going to be a lot during the week and at different times of the day.

Speaker 4 But still, I don't want to have to

Speaker 4 use my teacher. I I think it's actually beneath the United States, big cat, to play in a World Cup in stadiums that were built by little slaves.
Yeah, we're withdrawing.

Speaker 4 We're withdrawing from the World Cup. I'm boycotting

Speaker 4 the World Cup.

Speaker 4 I'm boycotting the World Cup unless the U.S. makes it, in which case, I might still boycott it.
And if they don't, it's a shame. And I feel bad.
And it would be a real shame.

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Speaker 6 You guys want to pick this kid's draft order? Sure. Justin Mick, Parker, Payton, Jack Jackson, Matt Gregg.

Speaker 4 Parker. We got to go Jack and Jackson together at the end of the draft.
Okay, Parker won.

Speaker 4 Parker won.

Speaker 4 What are the other ones? Peters? Yeah. Parker won.

Speaker 6 Justin Mick, Parker Payton, Jack Jackson, Matt Gregg.

Speaker 4 Jack Jackson, Matt. Wait, yeah, go Peyton two, Matt Gregg, three, four.
Mick, Mick five.

Speaker 4 And then the Jackson Jacksons. All right.

Speaker 4 Is that it? Close. All right.

Speaker 4 By the way, we're going to have an update on our draft that Jerry did for us tomorrow. We're going to have a show tomorrow.
It's going to be a Wednesday. We're going to have a show tomorrow.

Speaker 4 All right.

Speaker 4 Who's back of the week? Hank.

Speaker 4 He's trying to tighten this right now. No, it's okay.
Don't cut this. Don't cut this.
Oh, yo.

Speaker 4 U.S. Open, low-key just like, it's the center for white girl wasted.
Dude, I feel like all the clips are just

Speaker 4 chicks getting fucking dunking chicken fingers in a coat catcher. That's right, yeah.
Getting smashed on some Zen.

Speaker 4 It's like hot seat Nashville bachelorette parties because all the white girls are going to Flushing Meadows. Yes.
Just getting hammered. The Honey Deuce Elite drink.
What? The Honey Deuce.

Speaker 4 Take home the cup.

Speaker 4 Did you take it home? Yeah. It's called the Honey Deuce.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's called The Honey Deuce. Do you have enough room in your apartment for it? A little bit, yeah.

Speaker 4 The honey deuce? Yeah. I fucking love it.
Did you get white girl wasted? Yeah, wait. I did not.
Jake, give us a quick talking tennis.

Speaker 4 You went to the part? Yeah, I went to see Francis Tiafo, who is one of the best Americans out there. He came up short against 680.

Speaker 4 And then

Speaker 4 this guy, Brooksby, he took a 6-1 first set over Joe Canyon.

Speaker 4 Bryson. Oh, Brooks B, not Brooks E.

Speaker 4 All right, so Michael's back of the week is,

Speaker 4 well, first programme. Happy you had fun, Jake.

Speaker 6 Friday, obviously, there might not have been as many people listening, getting ready for the holiday.

Speaker 6 Our grit week video dropped, and PFT said that if we get 300,000 subscribers on our YouTube channel, he will take his sunglasses off. Drop the shades down.
So factor that into your consideration.

Speaker 4 Fans are back. Yep.

Speaker 6 Talked about in the beginning.

Speaker 6 Daniel Bryan and Adam Cole are back. AEW and WWE.
I'm not even super into wrestling, but I just like following what's going on. Seems like there's a big,

Speaker 6 I don't know what you call it. They're just both going for the top.

Speaker 4 Our guy Tony Khan is just

Speaker 4 getting all the actual good wrestlers from WWE.

Speaker 6 Right, and it's like, you know, fans are clearly drawn to just good wrestling. They don't care necessarily as much about the name.
So it's interesting to follow.

Speaker 6 I've enjoyed, I don't, again, I don't follow wrestling. I don't really know what's going on, but I like seeing the pops.

Speaker 4 There's been some good pops lately. There's been great pops.
And Max Versnapping. Wait, are you getting ⁇ are they going over on you right now? Are you the mark? Yeah, you are.

Speaker 6 I was, yeah, I was marking so hard for the pops.

Speaker 4 Big time mark.

Speaker 4 Yeah, Max Versnapping is back-to-back wins.

Speaker 4 He won in his home,

Speaker 4 Holland.

Speaker 6 And Bottis, Sebastian Bottas,

Speaker 6 stepped down from Mercedes, which seems like that's got to be the best seat in F1.

Speaker 4 Well, I'd say it's the top job.

Speaker 4 It kind of sucks because you basically are in an incredible car, but you always have to let Lewis Hamilton win. But, like, can't you?

Speaker 6 Let's say I'm an up-and-comer, I would just say, yeah, I'll do whatever. And then once I get in the car, just

Speaker 4 well, what sucks is like if you, all the people who are actually

Speaker 4 saying that you'd want them to drive in your car, they already have jobs. Yeah.
No, they'd fire your ass. I mean, it's a good seat.
Don't get me wrong, but you.

Speaker 4 I actually would be fine with it because it's like no pressure.

Speaker 4 You just have to show up, finish like fourth, third every now and then, then, and you make a shitload of money, and you're like, yeah, my team won. But yeah, you do have to be a cuck.

Speaker 4 You have to be a total cuck.

Speaker 6 Also, it came out last week that the PGA Tor is starting their own Netflix series

Speaker 6 built around Drive Survive. So Drive to Survive was their inspiration.

Speaker 4 Is this them watching Drive to Survive?

Speaker 6 No, it's going to be a PGA Tor base, but that should be exciting.

Speaker 4 So they're trying to do hard knocks, but for golf. Got it.
That sounds awesome. I wonder if we'll get any Brooksby content.
Hopefully. Bo, by the way, we should have said that.

Speaker 4 Yeah, we should have talked about that. Thoughts and prayers to Brooks Kepka.
Yeah, like I just got pretty much a little bit of a drink. Larry Six died.

Speaker 4 I think some, yeah, some people are out there saying he's dodging or something.

Speaker 4 He had a wrist injury that could have killed him. He hit a root.
A lot of people hit trees.

Speaker 6 He also, the tournament was for like 100 savvies

Speaker 6 that he dropped out of. Like, you don't drop out of that.

Speaker 4 Yeah, right.

Speaker 4 Right.

Speaker 4 Yeah, listen, you've got a lot of arteries, I think, in your wrist, or at least like you can see, I can see blood somewhere in there.

Speaker 4 And so the fact that his golf club didn't just cut his hand hand off, modern miracle. Uh-huh.
It just shows you how tough Brooks is. Yeah, just

Speaker 4 every time you think about treating something mean to Brooks, just remember that he's human too. And also, his wrist is so mangled that he can't even defend himself online to get back.
Right, exactly.

Speaker 4 Probably won't be able to jerk off. Yeah, it's tough.

Speaker 4 Thoughts and prayers. Think about that for a second, folks.
Yeah. No online bullying of golfers.
Brooks loved masturbating. Yeah, he did.
It was his favorite thing to do.

Speaker 4 My who's back of the week is putting your TVs outside.

Speaker 4 It's actually my favorite tradition when it comes to week one, week two college football, when it's really nice outside, like not too hot, not too cold. We're talking like 60s, 70s all day.

Speaker 4 And you're like, you know what? It's a shame that I'm not going to be able to just spend the day outside because this really feels like a great day to get outdoors.

Speaker 4 But it also just so happens I've got a date with 12 hours of college football.

Speaker 4 And you make a compromise with yourself and you you bring your entire set up and you put it maybe sometimes just in the windowsill or you run an extension cord that goes like to your patio table and then you spend the whole day outside still watching college football and being lazy, but you feel like you're a real outdoorsman.

Speaker 4 It's by getting to take that time on your porch. It's no joke all I want in life is to just have an outdoor living room with like multiple TVs and not even do it for September.

Speaker 4 I'm talking like November when you can smell that like burnt leaf and it's cold. I want to be outside watching college football when when it's 40 degrees and have a blanket and just be like, yes.

Speaker 4 Or sometimes when you've got the jacuzzi set up right next to the TVs. That's all I want.
That's nice news. But I especially love the people that don't have like a fancy outdoor kitchen set up.

Speaker 4 No, they just throw it out there. They throw the TV outside and they're like, I'm bringing the television outdoors today.
Yeah, look at that.

Speaker 4 Because that's the one thing that outdoors is severely lacking. People say how great it is.
If it was that great, it would have televisions in it. Do you know what we should do?

Speaker 4 We should bring our beds outside. Yeah.
Maybe on our balcony. I like that.
Yeah, Credit Us. Maybe drink some beers.
Yep, Credit Us on the balcony. Bazillion? Yeah.
Credit us.

Speaker 4 We came up with this idea. If anyone talks about beers or beds on balconies, that was our idea first.
Also, Dana will be guesting on Wednesday as part of my take. Yes.

Speaker 4 All right, my who's back of the week is eating weird shit on a telecast because I was at the gambling house on Saturday, had six TVs set up, so we're watching all the games.

Speaker 4 And

Speaker 4 I think it's mostly SEC network

Speaker 4 is really the king of it. But whenever there's a blowout in the third and fourth quarter, and they're just like, let's get our sideline reporter to eat some weird shit.

Speaker 4 And there's like, this is, I'm eating pudding. I'm eating, like, they just start eating random shit to fill time.
And I love it. I love it.

Speaker 4 Like, they don't do that in the NFL.

Speaker 4 It really is just college football because this town has this great delicacy. And it's just like...
It's bananas

Speaker 4 inside of like a cookie. Yeah, so there was

Speaker 4 always like Tony Saragusa would get caught doing it on NFL broadcasts, but it was by by accident.

Speaker 4 It wasn't because it's like, hey, let's cut down to Tony, who's like going deep into the bowels of the Meadowlands to find their...

Speaker 4 He's just already naturally rolling around with like a couple, I don't know, like pickled quail testicles just in case he gets a little peckish on the sidelines.

Speaker 4 But it's just something about college football because there's more blowouts and they'll just they always have that ready to go.

Speaker 4 I think there was a moment in time on Saturday where I think three of the six TVs had a sideline reporter eating something. Yeah, I love it.
I love that weird stuff too.

Speaker 4 There should be one food stand inside every college football stadium that serves the most fucked up thing possible, just in case people get bored at the game. Yes.

Speaker 4 And if there's a blowout, it's like, well, we might as well just go put ourselves through excruciating pain for a couple hours. Yes.
All right,

Speaker 4 Jake.

Speaker 4 My hot seat.

Speaker 4 Whoa. Oh, Jake.
Oh,

Speaker 4 we're good. We're good.
We're good.

Speaker 4 You better be careful because if you're going to apologize, memes is going to castellanos you. Oh, my God.

Speaker 4 Dude,

Speaker 4 Are you okay? Yes.

Speaker 4 That's a mistake. The drink you were drinking last night? Juice.

Speaker 4 You had a couple.

Speaker 4 Yeah, the honey deuce. And then you brought it home and drank it again today? Yeah.

Speaker 4 Oh, fuck. My who's back.
Well, that squirts getting in your lips. Yeah.

Speaker 4 By the way, the videos, watch the YouTube, the Grit Week video specifically for Jake. Oh, my God.
Not getting it. Don't think it's that crazy.
I'm going to double down on it.

Speaker 4 Jake, it was. Mike Greenberg would not even do that.
it was a solo cup yeah you want to keep it clean

Speaker 4 i don't think so what what do you what are you talking about so jake go watch the the whole video but it's great it's and shout out corey it's a great video but oh

Speaker 4 man well miranda is there um

Speaker 4 jake is at wing nuts

Speaker 4 drinking out of his solo cup with his palms and his fingers straight up because they have sauce on it it's a solo cup yeah i've got to keep it clean like

Speaker 4 it's a cup that's that's designed to be thrown away

Speaker 4 the second you're done with it. You're holding it like it was like your grandmother's ass.

Speaker 4 Got to respect Ed and Alicia. Okay.
Right in front of him.

Speaker 4 I think they would have been okay. Jake, there's an old TV show called The Adventures of Pete and Pete, and one time they had a barbecue eating contest,

Speaker 4 and they won the contest because the guy they were going up against didn't get any barbecue sauce on his fingers. And it's like, I ate it perfectly.

Speaker 4 And they're like, actually, no, the whole point of eating messy food like that is to get messy. Yeah,

Speaker 4 if you see me with wings, you'll notice I have like the most insane amount of napkins next to me. I just go hard in the paint and just keep cleaning and keep cleaning and go hard in the paint.

Speaker 4 I'll think about it for next time. Yeah.
My who's back of the week is the offseason because it is here for you guys as owners of water dogs. Oh, fuck it.
Yeah, who cares?

Speaker 4 I feel bad for them, by the way. This was actually the nicest thing the water dogs have ever been, have ever done to us.
We actually don't deserve what good boys.

Speaker 4 We don't deserve dogs, bro, because we did not want them to win this game so we wouldn't be conflicted for an actual week of NFL football going up against a Water Dogs broadcast.

Speaker 4 So they mercifully decided to lose. And fuck the Whipsnakes.
Whipsnakes are cheaters. Everybody knows that.
Dude, so I watched the second half of this game.

Speaker 4 I felt bad for the Water Dogs because we have our fun, and I do truly hate them, but the guys tried their hardest.

Speaker 4 And I felt bad because I'm sure there's some bonus for winning that would be incredible for them. So I do feel bad.
And they gave us a nice run this season. I'll never forget it.

Speaker 4 The joy they brought me.

Speaker 4 But the Whipsnakes are fuckboys. They were cheating.
They were throwing their sticks. I hate the Whipsnakes.
I think they are the biggest pieces of shit I've ever seen.

Speaker 4 And I hope they all lose and never play the Crusaders. They're going for the three-piece.
Yeah, fuck these guys. Fuck the Whipsnakes.
I root for two teams. Matt Rambo.
All right, Jake?

Speaker 4 I root for the Water Dogs and whoever is playing against the Whipsnakes. Fuck the Whipsnakes.
Paul Rabel's my goat. Well, guess what?

Speaker 4 What's more impressive, guys? Winning three games in a row or winning the entire regular season title. And doing it

Speaker 4 by starting the worst.

Speaker 4 We won the president's trophy.

Speaker 4 Congratulations to my water dogs. Yeah, we went from worst to first.
Boom. Storybook.
Yeah, so end of an era for this season. Bigger and better 2022.
Sure. Who cares?

Speaker 4 Also, I don't really like that the coach, his name is Andy Copeland. There should be a D on the end of his name.
Yeah. His name should be Andy Copeland.
It's Copeland. That's so stupid.

Speaker 4 Every time they show him, I'm like, put a fucking D at the end of your name. That's how I want to say it.
Don't you agree, Jake? I mean, it's a name. But I don't care.
Put a D there.

Speaker 4 Wasn't that guy the Copeland. Was he Copeland? The drummer and Sting in the police? Yeah.

Speaker 4 I got really frustrated about that. Like, really frustrated.
You guys are the owners. I'd fire.
Yeah, so, all right, if I have the power, Paul Rabel,

Speaker 4 Mike Rabel, if you're listening to this, fire Andy Copeland unless he changes his name to Andy Copeland. Fair.
Okay. All right.
Thank you.

Speaker 4 Billy, sorry. Just attacked a man for his name.

Speaker 4 Football is back. That also means football guys are back.
I think we'll be starting to do the voting on it next week.

Speaker 4 But just a little teaser, we had guys like Brian Kelly trying to execute his whole team. We had Mackenzie Milton, who came out after two years being off.

Speaker 4 But we also had coach Mike Eckler with the Tennessee Voles, who on his early morning run claimed to have ran away from a pit bull for three blocks straight just to show his pro day 40 and get his heart rate up.

Speaker 4 So just total football guy missed.

Speaker 6 Wasn't one of their coaches bleeding on the sidelines, too?

Speaker 4 Yeah, he was like bleeding from his eye. I think so.

Speaker 4 I'm Vol for Life, and so I say this with all respect, but Josh Heipel, he better not get to the NFL because I love taking pictures of that guy's face. His neck goes on forever.

Speaker 4 He's my new Frank Beamer.

Speaker 4 Something tells me I don't think he's going to make it to the NFL as a head coach. No, he will because he's going to be awesome.
Theoretically. He's going to be awesome.

Speaker 4 There was also at South Dakota State, the back of their helmets, they had last play written on.

Speaker 4 So was that just speculating here? That's because the coach is telling them, put your last play behind you?

Speaker 4 Is that it? Or is this the last play? Oh, yeah, this could be the last play. It would also, like, if it's literally in the back of your mind, that's bad coaching because you want to move on.

Speaker 4 You want to be a goldfish.

Speaker 4 What if it was... No, no RIP.
What if it was play every play like it's your last play? That could be it, too. That would be good.
Just last play? Like, you know, the next play is never promised.

Speaker 4 It should be next play. Last play is...
What is it saying, Jake? Last play is a gift. Tomorrow's a...
Live, laugh, love. And the mother's the doctor.
Oh, sorry to smile. Today is a gift.

Speaker 4 That's why we call it the present. Yeah, it's a good idea.
So the current play is a gift. That's why we call it the present.
Last play is.

Speaker 4 When's rent due?

Speaker 4 Every day. Every day.
Every hour of every day. Right now.
Yeah. It's not over.
Pay me $50. At least.
Right this second.

Speaker 4 How's my milk budget going?

Speaker 4 I got a tab going. Yeah, what are we at? Just give me an idea.

Speaker 4 Double digits.

Speaker 4 What?

Speaker 4 It's the sixth.

Speaker 4 Hey, man. Wait, double, not triple.
All right, never mind. Double.
I'm an idiot. Double.
Double digits. Yeah, like 50 bucks.
It's like 20 bucks right now, right? It is a good amount.

Speaker 4 I thought you were at 100. I was like, Jesus Christ, you're going to bankrupt me.

Speaker 4 If you came in, I mean, Billy would come in with like $1,000 and be like, no, I swear. He's too skinny right now.

Speaker 4 You definitely haven't been drinking that much milk. You know, Billy would come in.
He'd come in with $6,000

Speaker 4 receipt. He bought a cow.

Speaker 4 And he put it in his backyard. Look, glass bottles, man.
I'm getting glass bottle milk. Oh, hell.
Do you have a milkman? No, I don't.

Speaker 4 We should bring back milkmen. Yeah.
Milkmen were the shit. They would just, like, show up wearing their little funny hats.
Oh, I thought you were talking about us when we just chugged the milk.

Speaker 4 No, the milk boys. Yeah.
We're the milk boys. No, milkmen, the ones that would, like, wear bow ties, drop off milk, and then fuck your wife while you were gone.
Yes. Anything else from football guys?

Speaker 4 We're going to officially bring back football guys next week, right? Yeah. Okay.
This is a little teaser. I love it.
Good job, Billy. And you have a blog, too.
Yeah, we're going to be blogging it.

Speaker 4 Whole big thing. Send your submissions in for next week.
Also, Nostradamus, the hedgehog, is back. He's out of hibernation.
You're arguing.

Speaker 4 Let's go.

Speaker 4 Not really. Okay.
Okay.

Speaker 4 All right. What was his record against the spread? I think he was above 50%.
All right, good. Nice.
Otherwise, he's got to be above 50%. We have to kill him.

Speaker 4 Figure it out. I think it's 52 and a half, actually.
All right. Let's get to Andy Staples.
PFT. You had a quick word before we get there.

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Speaker 4 Here he is, Andy Staples.

Speaker 4 Okay, we now welcome on our good friend, Andy Staples. He covers college football for the athletic.
He's got a podcast, the Andy Staples podcast. Great logo we've talked about in the past.

Speaker 4 You can also hear him on SiriusXM. So check it out.
Always great information. Andy, we wanted you on to recap football being back.
A great week one. It was great to have fans in the stands.

Speaker 4 I have a ton of different things I wanted to touch on, but I think we should probably start

Speaker 4 with LSU UCLA. And I know that people...

Speaker 4 Well, here's the thing. So you lost the bet.
We're Cocho guys.

Speaker 4 I'm worried about Coacho, but we should at least give credit right now to Chip Kelly because Chip Kelly is at the point now where you hear it in the media when they say a guy has it rolling.

Speaker 4 That basically means that he's, you know, everything is locked in.

Speaker 4 That's my first question. Does Chip Kelly, in fact, have it rolling?

Speaker 12 I think he does. I mean, if they can do that to LSU, where the talent gap is pretty big between UCLA and LSU, there's nobody UCLA is going to play in a Pac-12 that has that kind of talent.

Speaker 12 UCLA can beat anybody in the Pac-12. That's what that means on the right night.
And if they're playing that way, they're going to beat just about everybody in the Pac-12. I mean, you saw Oregon.

Speaker 12 They didn't look great. Washington lost to Montana.
USC is what USC has been for the last few years. So, yeah, I think this is,

Speaker 12 I got to go with you noticing the visor first. I think you were the first person to see the visor and understand what that meant.
But

Speaker 12 it's something that's like the Samson hair. I don't know what it is.

Speaker 4 It's a tell. These guys have tells.
When they know they have a good team, they're like, I'm going to be cocky again.

Speaker 4 It's really just a difference of Chip Kelly caring again because for a while, Chip Kelly just obviously didn't care.

Speaker 4 The offenses that he was running, at least like when he was reaching the end of his tenure during the Eagles period, he was just running like the same four plays over and over and over and over again.

Speaker 4 And he just like kind of didn't like coaching football. Now it seems like he enjoys coaching football again.

Speaker 12 Well, when we have this discussion on the podcast during the offseason, is he the Harper Lee of football?

Speaker 12 Like, did he have the one big thing in him, which was that blur offense right after they changed the clock rules at Oregon? But no, apparently not.

Speaker 12 He does have something else because he wasn't going to be able to win with some sort of paradigm shifting thing this time. He did that once.
That's a lightning in a bottle kind of thing.

Speaker 12 You're not going to do that again. So the question was, can he just recruit the players to his system, to what he wants, and then run plays that will win games? And so far that hadn't worked.

Speaker 12 And now this year it is working. And I mean, they didn't just beat LSU.
They whipped LSU. They whipped him up front.
LSU couldn't. couldn't get any push from its offensive line.

Speaker 12 They were all over Max Johnson. That was very impressive because I just didn't didn't know that UCLA would be able to do that with the roster they had.
And that was my thing with Chip Kelly.

Speaker 12 I thought he did the right thing taking the UCLA job because remember, he got offered the Florida job at the same time. He never struck me as someone who would enjoy recruiting in the SEC.

Speaker 12 And so I thought, okay, he's fine over there. But then they lose so many games those first three years.
You're like, okay, maybe not. Maybe that's it.

Speaker 12 He always said water the bamboo and it doesn't do anything. It doesn't do anything.
And all of a sudden it shoots up.

Speaker 4 Well, maybe this is it. Yeah, so Coacho, we love Cocho.
We're not going to say anything bad about Cocho. We have you on, so you can say something bad, and we can say

Speaker 4 Andy, that's not right. You shouldn't do that.

Speaker 4 But obviously, this is tough because I think when you watch that game, the thing that struck me the most was like the tackling and just like the, it was just kind of a mess on defense.

Speaker 4 And like you said, the roster is better than UCLA's. So then it's coaching, and I think Coach O is still, you know, he should have a job.
There's the hot seat, in my opinion, isn't hot yet.

Speaker 4 But from where you stand, you cover the SEC. Like, how is this going to play out? What does he need to do the rest of this season to write the shit?

Speaker 12 Well, I realize people who are outside SEC country are like, no, no, no, he won the national title two years ago.

Speaker 12 Nothing's going to happen.

Speaker 12 Let me remind you of a name, Gene Chizwick. Gene Chizak won a national title in 2010, went undefeated, was fired in 2012.
So it is possible that this happens.

Speaker 12 And what was disturbing about LSU was the defense, while

Speaker 12 schematically better,

Speaker 12 didn't look fundamentally better. The tackling was still bad.
The communication was still bad. The run fits were bad.
It was not what you want to see at LSU.

Speaker 12 And you can have better players, but if you do all that stuff, it doesn't matter. And then offensively, they brought in Jake Pete's, who had been with the Panthers, so he'd been with Joe Brady.

Speaker 12 And the idea was recapture this whole lightning in a bottle thing that Joe Brady brought them with Joe Burrow. And I think Max Johnson's a good quarterback.

Speaker 12 The behind the back throwaway, I was screaming at my TV at that point. Like, what are you doing? But I think he's not being helped by his coaching staff.

Speaker 12 Because if you watch, they are up at the line of scrimmage and they are messing with stuff and changing stuff until there's about two, three seconds left on the play clock every play.

Speaker 12 You have better players. Snap the ball.

Speaker 12 Throw something short, confidence building, and let Kayshan Boute catch a pass five yards from the line of scrimmage. And you do that two or three times.

Speaker 12 He's probably going to break one for 50 at some point, especially when you're playing a less talented team. So that's where perfect is the enemy of good for them.

Speaker 12 And so they've got two games coming up. They got McNee State and they got Central Michigan.
They need to get that worked out because then they have a stretch of Mississippi State, Auburn, and Florida.

Speaker 12 I'm sorry, Mississippi State, Auburn, Kentucky, Florida. Those are all losable games if they play the way they played against UCLA.

Speaker 12 So they're either going to get this worked out and they'll come out looking like a completely different team after these two warm-up games, or nothing gets worked out and we're having the Gene Chizuk conversation midseason.

Speaker 4 And I think that they will get it worked out in a sense that you had a guy who's playing, I think that was his first time ever calling plays in a game

Speaker 4 on the road at UCLA. Like, this is, I know that we used to always be like, oh, why do teams schedule cupcakes at the beginning of the season? Well, this is why.

Speaker 4 You don't want to have your your first game be on the road at UCLA. Like there's,

Speaker 4 there's things that need to be worked out that you don't get a chance to work them out when you have a tough test day one.

Speaker 12 Well, LSU's dead to me now because as a result of losing, and I was an idiot. I was very high in LSU.
I was like, they fixed it.

Speaker 12 They made the coordinator hires that will fix this thing. They're going to be really good.
We're talking 10-win team again. And so I was sure they were going to go throttle UCLA.

Speaker 12 And so I gave my podcast partner, Ari Wasserman, 15 points in that game. And if I lost, I had to eat a banana Will Levis style.

Speaker 12 So Will Levis, the new QB at Kentucky, I'm sure everybody's seen the video. He's a maniac.
He eats the banana peel and all. So I'm going to do that on Thursday.
I got some bananas today.

Speaker 12 We're getting them nice and spotty because

Speaker 12 they can't be yellow. They can't be green.
They're going to need to be about half brown for this to work.

Speaker 4 But

Speaker 12 I got to do it now. And it's just, I'm so disgusted with myself for falling for it.
I knew,

Speaker 12 I was just sure they were going to be great. And I'm watching that game and within maybe a quarter and a half, I'm like, no, I have no chance.

Speaker 12 And really, he should have given me 15 points.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Yes.
Yeah, it was tough. It was tough for Coach O.
And again, we still love Coacho. Nothing about that changes.
But in reality,

Speaker 4 they've got a lot of work to do. on defense for sure.
So I have a question for you. It's a power ranking, three-team power ranking.
Can you power rank for me the SEC,

Speaker 4 the Alliance,

Speaker 4 and then Notre Dame? They're independent. So those are the three options.

Speaker 12 Okay, well, we're going to start with the SEC because they have Alabama, which is just a new kind of nasty.

Speaker 12 They just find different ways to humiliate everyone. So we'll give the SEC that, and plus Georgia, obviously, beat Clemson.
The Alliance. well, the ACC killed the Alliance this week.

Speaker 12 You had Clemson losing to Georgia.

Speaker 12 You had North Carolina losing to Virginia Tech is obviously a conference game, but you you thought everybody thought North Carolina was going to be the second best team and they were going to be great.

Speaker 12 So that puts them in a weird spot because

Speaker 12 you're potential Heisman contender in Sam Howell. Well, maybe you don't have that now.
Miami got killed by Alabama.

Speaker 12 And they go over to Pac-12 and you got Washington losing to Montana, Washington State losing.

Speaker 12 They just, everybody looked pretty bad except for UCLA. And then the Big Ten did fine.

Speaker 12 Nothing wrong with the Big Ten, but the Big Ten's got those anchors dragging them down. So we're going to have to put the Alliance third, I think, and we'll put Notre Dame second.

Speaker 12 Notre Dame's comedy chops,

Speaker 12 not second. Notre Dame, Brian Kelly.
If Brian Kelly is on a street corner in New York saying, do you like comedy? Run away.

Speaker 12 But I put Notre Dame second. I thought Jack Cohn did a great job.

Speaker 12 Big Ken, I'm wondering, how did you feel after watching Graham Mertz against Penn State? Okay. And then watching Jack Cohn.

Speaker 4 Obviously, it didn't go well on Saturday. And I'm going to ask you to explain to people.

Speaker 4 I know the answers, but to explain to people how this works because I have a feeling I'm going to be explaining away this for a very long time.

Speaker 4 And no matter what I say, people will just be like, oh, you're an idiot. Wisconsin sucks.

Speaker 4 It's similar actually to the Joe Burrow, Dwayne Haskins thing, where Ohio State fans were like, Joe Burrow got hurt. What the fuck do you want us to do?

Speaker 4 The facts of the matter is, Jack Cohn got hurt in fall of last year. Graham Mertz is now the starter.

Speaker 4 If you then have Jack Cohn stay and start this year, Graham Mertz transfers, and Graham Mertz is a sophomore, and you lose the potential of what he could be.

Speaker 4 So it's pretty much a no-brainer from Paul Chris's

Speaker 4 point of view. You can't start a guy, then sit him, and expect him to stay.
Now,

Speaker 4 I'm still holding my stock in Graham Mertz, but this happens, right? Like, this can't. Yes.
It happens. It happens all the time.

Speaker 12 It does happen. And the thing with Mertz is he's also the highest ranked quarterback recruit Wisconsin's ever signed.
Correct. And if you, if you chase those guys away, maybe they don't come back.

Speaker 12 And that's what you worry about. Now, Paul Chris does not strike me as the kind of guy who worries about that.
He's just trying to win games. And I think, yeah,

Speaker 12 they probably felt like all things were equal. We'll go with the younger guy, which makes perfect sense.
But Jack Cohn looked really good in that offense.

Speaker 12 And look, Notre Dame's got a very good offensive line, has had a very good offensive line for years. Michael Mayer is a fantastic weapon.
And then you saw Austin finally.

Speaker 12 He was one that everybody was excited about for a couple of years and just never really broke out. But he looked good.
Those backs are good. So Cohn's going to have a good year.

Speaker 12 He's going to look really good. And of course, I mean, it's not like they play each other at Soldier Field.

Speaker 4 Oh, what they do. Yeah.
No, and I think Tommy Reese is a very good play caller.

Speaker 4 And I think they're going to just run a different offense at Notre Dame that's a little more wide open and pushes the ball down the field. I just, I'm going to, I know the future.

Speaker 4 I'm just going to have to explain this away forever. I should just give up.
I should put it in my Twitter bio that Jack Cohen broke his foot. He broke his foot.
So there was no choice.

Speaker 4 Go find a Georgia fan.

Speaker 12 Go find a Georgia fan and ask them how they've been explaining Jake Fromm over Justin Fields.

Speaker 12 You can look at it now and go, how in the world did Kirby Smart pick Jake Fromm? Well, I remember when that happened. Jake Fromm had just taken them to the national title game.

Speaker 12 It was not an easy decision.

Speaker 4 Right. So it hurts.

Speaker 12 It's just, you're going to have to deal with that, big cat. And that's, but see, that's what happens when you get in the world of the high four-star and the five-star recruit.

Speaker 12 You got to start explaining this stuff away.

Speaker 4 Right. And I'm just, yeah, I think I'm going to just change my name to on Twitter to Jack Cohn broke his foot in 2020.
Like, that's just what happened, okay, guys?

Speaker 4 Like, that is the fact of the matter. I have a question about the Penn State, Wisconsin game.
In relation to Georgia Clemson,

Speaker 4 those are the, I actually think Georgia Clemson was far more boring. Yet the national media fawns over one and mocks the other.

Speaker 4 And I probably am part of the problem when I mock it because I do it out of love. I do love like the Big Ten just punt fest and hard-nosed defense.

Speaker 4 But the second half of Wisconsin-Penn State was dramatic. Clemson, Georgia was.

Speaker 12 That team gave me what I wanted.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Clemson, Georgia was just like watching a team suffocate another team to death.

Speaker 12 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 12 Clemson, georgia i'll it's a great great analogy i remember i was with my my son at the alligator farm in st augustine down here in florida and uh we saw a bunch of people rushing into this one building and what are they doing oh they're feeding the pythons and that's exactly what it was watching a reticulated python crush a bunny for an hour and Penn State, Wisconsin wasn't like that at all because they were getting into the red zone and then things were happening.

Speaker 12 There were interceptions.

Speaker 12 And so I thought that game was extremely satisfying to watch. And it might have been because it was noon and

Speaker 12 it was an appetizer. So it's basically, you know, how good are your potato skins or your

Speaker 12 spinach artichoke dip versus your steak?

Speaker 12 That's what we're talking about. But I was very happy with that game, enjoyed the hell out of it.

Speaker 12 And I could have made the big 10 jokes, but I thought, because here's the thing, like when Penn State scored, they scored on big plays. They scored on explosive plays.

Speaker 12 And they've got another, listen, I'm curious to see if they have to have a Will Levis-Sean Clifford conversation, if the Penn State fans have to start making excuses.

Speaker 12 Now, Kentucky wasn't playing anybody tough, so Will Levis has this huge game, but they never let Will Levis throw last year. Turns out he's pretty good at it.

Speaker 12 So Sean Clifford, Sean Clifford will continually be judged against whatever Will Levis is doing at Kentucky. And so he passed that first test, which is, I think that's huge.

Speaker 12 I think going to Camp Randall and winning in week one is just massive for them. Now they got Auburn in week three, but that just sets them up.

Speaker 4 And I don't want to sound bitter, but like, honestly, if Sean Clifford was better, Penn State probably would have won by more. They would like he missed some things.

Speaker 4 Like it was almost reminiscent of like when Wisconsin kept Ohio State to seven points in Big Ten Championship game. It was J.T.
Barrett.

Speaker 4 And I was like, anyone else playing quarterback right now in Ohio State runs us off the field. So he left some plays out there.

Speaker 12 Oh, he did. And there's one that was an underthrow where I think it was Dotson was just wide open.
I think they might have ended up scoring on that drive anyway. But it was, yeah.
But

Speaker 12 the fact that they could do that, that they could make some explosive plays happen and they could win that game. Because the way last season started for them was everything going wrong.

Speaker 12 You know, Michael Parsons opts out early. Jernie Brown has to medically retire right before the season starts.
Noah King gets hurt on the first series in the Indiana game.

Speaker 12 And then they lose the gut punch with Michael Pennix, you know, stretching out and I think it was double overtime. And so that sort of set them up for failure for the rest of the year.

Speaker 12 I feel like this sets them up for success the rest of the way.

Speaker 4 I think you're right too about the fact that

Speaker 4 if a game's at noon, if the sun's out while I'm watching a punt faster, while I'm watching like a bunch of turnovers in the red zone, and you're right, there were like several times where teams got close to scoring and then it just seemed like there was a force working against it that would stop these teams from breaking the scoreless draw.

Speaker 4 But if you look at it under the lights, under the lights, football just looks faster for some reason.

Speaker 12 It does.

Speaker 12 that was a different game because Clemson and Georgia weren't getting into the red zone. They were just, you know, they were playing between the 40s and punting.
And I thought,

Speaker 12 here's the thing: for the people who think, oh, Georgia doesn't have an offense, you got to remember, Kiris Jackson not playing any offensive snaps, Dominique Blaylock not playing any offensive snaps.

Speaker 12 They're going to have more weapons at receiver as the season goes on.

Speaker 12 Darnell Mayberry,

Speaker 12 their quarter, sorry, Darnell Washington,

Speaker 12 their tight end was hurt too. So they're going to have more weapons in terms of the passing game.

Speaker 12 And I thought eventually they wore down Clemson's defensive line enough that they were getting some yards on the ground in the fourth quarter.

Speaker 12 And that Alabama is the only other defensive line they're going to see that's anything close to that. So if they can do that to Clemson's D-line, they can do that to anybody.

Speaker 12 And the passing game cannot help but get better because JT Dano is basically throwing to a freshman tight end all night. Like that was all he had.

Speaker 12 They're going to get three or four guys back.

Speaker 4 What's

Speaker 4 this might be like two in the weeds, but what's the deal with Clemson's offensive line? Because they get guys, but they don't translate to pros.

Speaker 4 And like the rest of the team does translate to pros, but it clearly was their weakness last year.

Speaker 4 I mean, obviously, Georgia's nothing to take away from Georgia. Their defensive line is probably the best in the country, but it does feel like that's continually a weakness for them.
And like,

Speaker 4 it's confusing to me because you think they have it rolling. They'll just plug in guys.
They'll always be good. But it doesn't seem like that's the case.

Speaker 12 They don't get the raw material that some of these other schools do. And it's weird because they should, given what else they do.
But they got Jackson Carmen out of Ohio a few years ago.

Speaker 12 Jackson Carmen just went to the NFL. And that was, we thought would be.

Speaker 12 the last sort of step where now all of a sudden they're going to get the five star every five-star offensive lineman they want too. And then there's no stopping them after this.
But they just haven't.

Speaker 12 And like, I remember Mitch Hyatt started for them for four years and then didn't get drafted. Like it didn't make sense.

Speaker 12 John Simpson, who's probably their best offensive lineman in terms of a pro prospect in the last few years, he was not a huge recruit.

Speaker 12 He was a good recruit who then they then developed into a very, very good college player. But they just haven't gotten those guys.
Like Alabama's got the five stars across the board.

Speaker 12 Ohio State is moving NFL tackles into guard because they have so much talent at tackle. Clemson, for whatever reason, has not gotten to that point.
Georgia has those guys.

Speaker 12 If you know, if you looked at Georgia's offensive line, those guys had not played together very much, but all of them were extremely talented as recruits.

Speaker 12 And it showed as the game went on that here they're playing complete monsters because like Brian Brissie at Clemson is unbelievable. And

Speaker 12 this is a guy you can't move. He's going, he's quick.
He's going to get past you.

Speaker 12 By the end of the game, They were opening holes for seven, eight-yard gains.

Speaker 12 And so I think that's the difference between between Clemson and the other elite, super elite programs is for whatever reason, those guys seem to get the better offensive line recruits.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Can you help us nitpick Alabama? If we were to like focus on one thing where we're like, you know what, we want to be the guys who are like, we like Alabama, but this is how you beat them.

Speaker 12 I had a friend text me as he was watching the Alabama-Miami game and he goes,

Speaker 12 They even have an automatic kicker. And I'm like,

Speaker 12 that's the last thing.

Speaker 4 That was the last thing they didn't have.

Speaker 4 Actually, you know what I always say, Andy? I just like, I'll always say, well, Nick Saban has trouble playing against mobile quarterbacks. I just hope that nobody actually fact checks me.

Speaker 4 Yeah, because like three times in 10 years because they lost to Johnny Manzel. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Johnny Manzel,

Speaker 12 Bo Wallace, and Swag Kelly.

Speaker 4 Swag Kelly, baby. Three times in 10 years, you're like, yeah, they struggle.

Speaker 12 It's unbelievable. Yeah.
But yeah, getting the automatic kicker is essentially like closing the exhaust board on the Death Star. It's like nailing that shut.

Speaker 12 and there's nothing else there's no and and bryce young it's a like it's a completely different way to destroy you now because mac jones would would catch the snap sit back there read read read up there there's my guy boom easy completion and he just do that over and over and over again bryce young catches the snap and then he it's he's a he's a good runner but he's running with the idea of setting up some time for himself so he's not going to try to gain 10 yards scrambling he's going to run to a spot and then just sit there and realize, okay, now I have five seconds to throw.

Speaker 12 And there's no DB in the world that can stick with my guys for five seconds.

Speaker 12 I felt so bad for Miami's corners because every time he would just sort of scramble,

Speaker 12 one Miami player would get like a hand through past one of the offensive linemen. And Bryce Young would see it and just kind of roll and he'd go about 10 yards away.
And then he'd just set up.

Speaker 12 And the poor Miami corners are just like, no, I can't. I can't.
I'm not going to make it anymore. And then he'd just find a wide open guy.

Speaker 4 It was tough.

Speaker 4 The saddest moment for Miami was when there was that turnover. They put on the turnover chain, they got overturned.

Speaker 4 They were down 27-0, put on a turnover chain, which is sad in its own right, and then it got overturned. You had to put it back in.
Watching, like, Jesus Christ, guys.

Speaker 4 Watching them reopen the case of the turnover chain and then place it delicately, somberly, sadly.

Speaker 4 Like they're laying it to rest.

Speaker 12 It's like when you're working at a jewelry store and you got somebody come in and they're gonna buy the the most expensive engagement ring in the store and in the middle of it all the couple like gets into a fight over the phone and breaks up.

Speaker 12 And you have to put it back in the in the case.

Speaker 4 It's like if you're going jewelry shop you're like, you know what? I think that that necklace is going to be the one they take it out for you.

Speaker 4 You look at it and you're like, oh, that's how much it costs. Yeah.
And you like have to like make up an excuse. No.
Oh, you know what? I'll be back. I left my good credit card in the car.

Speaker 4 Let me just run out and grab that. I'll be right back.
Yeah, it was sad.

Speaker 12 My black card's in the helicopter.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I think they should not do the turnover chain unless it's a one-score game. That should be the...

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Speaker 4 Now more Andy Staples. Worst loss this weekend because there was a lot of bad losses.
I think, what was it, like six FCS teams beat FBS teams?

Speaker 12 Holy cross UConn ended Randy Edsel.

Speaker 4 Well, yeah, he retired Andy Gray. No,

Speaker 4 he independently said he's going to retire after the season's over. That clip.
Oh, no, he's out now.

Speaker 12 You guys didn't see the email.

Speaker 4 Oh, he's done. Fully done.
Fully done, done.

Speaker 4 That clip where the coach, I think it might have been the defensive coach, asked for everyone's hands in the middle and no one reacted. That was so sad.
So, so sad. Yeah.

Speaker 12 I mean, they have basically become the bishop sycamore of the FBS. Like, their job is to go get paid to get beat.
And it's pretty sad. They were in a BCS.
Yeah. They played in a fiesta.

Speaker 4 Yes.

Speaker 12 Not long. 2010 was the season.
I mean,

Speaker 12 that Oklahoma Yukon Fiesta Bo is probably what they play on loop in hell, but it's a they made it.

Speaker 4 They were there. They were there.
It's crazy. Yeah.
Yeah. But so, yeah, what worst loss this weekend in your mind? I have one in my mind.
I want to know what yours is.

Speaker 12 I want to say Washington, Montana, because I expected more out of them. I thought Washington was going to be a team that might contend for the Pac-12 title.
And who knows, maybe they are.

Speaker 12 But I felt like we didn't get a chance to see what Washington under Jimmy Lake would look like last year. I think they only played four games.

Speaker 12 You know, he was the automatic choice to succeed Chris Peterson, and it seemed like a great choice.

Speaker 12 He was going to do the same things they were doing, except maybe open things up a little bit, try to get a little bit higher caliber recruit.

Speaker 12 You know, Chris Peterson all said, we're getting the OKGs, the R kind of guys.

Speaker 12 Well, Jimmy Lake wants the R kind of guys who happens to be a four-star or a five-star, but they had good talent in Seattle in that recruiting class. They didn't go to Washington.

Speaker 12 They didn't all, two of them went to Ohio State. And then you open with a loss to Montana.
That just,

Speaker 12 I thought they were going to be better. And who knows? Maybe they go in and beat Michigan this week, and I'm completely wrong.
But that does not seem like

Speaker 12 an auspicious start for them.

Speaker 4 Okay, so my worst loss is Georgia Tech because I actually believed in Jeff Collins.

Speaker 4 I actually think, like, I remember, what was it, maybe two years ago, they had a string where they started playing teams really tough. And it was like, these guys are fighting for him.
And

Speaker 4 he's a real football guy. But like, this is what, year three for him, year four.
And

Speaker 4 that's a head scratcher, is it not?

Speaker 12 It is. And because everywhere he's been, the defense has been good, whether it was the DC at Mississippi State or the DC at Florida.
And then at Temple, his teams were tough. They were well coached.

Speaker 12 They got after you. Now, maybe that was Matt Ruhl had stocked the cupboard.
But

Speaker 12 granted, the roster flip you've got to do at Georgia Tech is pretty tough. But all you have to do is look at.

Speaker 12 Look at what Mike Norvell did through the transfer portal to change what Florida State looked like. And Florida State last year was a non-competitive team.
It was a team that Georgia Tech beat.

Speaker 12 And you saw Florida State. They didn't win against Notre Dame, but they were certainly in the game and they'll certainly be competitive in the ACC now.
And that was done through the transfer portal.

Speaker 12 Jeff Collins had to change from an option offense and running the option affects your defense too, because D-Linemen don't want to come because they think they're going to get cut at practice every day.

Speaker 12 It does take some time. But by year three, and this was a guy who was a very good recruiter as an assistant.

Speaker 12 I mean, he's a guy who in SEC country is regarded as a great recruiter, which means you can recruit anywhere.

Speaker 12 And so the fact that they haven't gotten better is a little concerning because they should not be losing to Northern Illinois at this point.

Speaker 4 Yeah. And like, Washington's a good answer because you do think like Washington shouldn't lose to Montana.
Like the other ones, like Vandi losing to an FCS team. That's all right.
Yeah, that's Vandi.

Speaker 4 I mean, and they're 23 to 3. And there was a 99.

Speaker 4 Yeah, and there was a 99-yard return that got overturned because they celebrated the last 20 yards.

Speaker 12 20 yards of taunting.

Speaker 12 I actually think the penalty should be wiped off the board if you can taunt for 20 yards.

Speaker 4 Yeah, get away with it.

Speaker 12 If you can taunt, okay, so it's a 15-yard penalty from the spot, right? So if you can taunt for the length of the penalty,

Speaker 12 the penalty should be wiped off the board. So if you can taunt for 15 or more yards,

Speaker 12 it should be zero penalty touchdown counts. Agreed.

Speaker 4 Agreed, 100%. Agreed.
What about Iowa State winning 16 to 10? That might be considered a loss. Like, that was, everyone thought that Iowa State, like, this is the year that they're going to be legit.

Speaker 4 They actually, I was watching the end of that game.

Speaker 4 Was it Northern Iowa? North Iowa? They were driving at the end of the game. It was Northern Iowa.
Yeah, they were driving at the end of the game with a chance to win.

Speaker 4 And then the quarterback threw maybe the worst interception I've ever seen. But

Speaker 4 this was one that I thought it was going to be like a 40-50 point dropping.

Speaker 12 But Iowa State has these first games. Last year, they lost to Louisiana Lafayette in the first game and wound up having maybe the best season in school history.

Speaker 12 So I don't know that that necessarily means anything. Although when Big Cat came on my show on Thursday, I said, I think Iowa is going to crush some dreams these first two weeks.

Speaker 12 They certainly crushed Indiana.

Speaker 12 I got a feeling Iowa is going into Ames and beating Iowa State.

Speaker 12 And that's not a knock on Iowa State. I just think Iowa is going to be really good.
But Iowa State is a very kind of classic slow starter.

Speaker 12 So the fact that they won that game, I almost look at as progress because that is a game they would have lost over the last three, four years.

Speaker 12 As good as Matt Campbell is, for whatever reason, they feel like a slow starting team. And so they won it.
Now they go into this game against Iowa. Maybe I'm completely wrong.
Maybe they house Iowa.

Speaker 12 And then if you look at the beginning of their Big 12 schedule,

Speaker 12 they can run with this for a while. So this is a big game for them.
If they can win this, they're in really good shape.

Speaker 4 Yeah. And I mean, that's why Brock Nelson, Iowa State's quarterback, they call him Brock Tober because he's like

Speaker 4 the best quarterback of all time in Brock Tobert. Brock Purdy.
Brock Purdy, I mean, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 He's incredible.

Speaker 12 He's a great improv guy and just

Speaker 12 it's never, the plays seems like it's never over with him. And that's what I love.

Speaker 12 And I'm excited to see him against Iowa's defense because I think that that does give them a chance against a team that, I mean, Iowa looks, has been good since. the end of last season.

Speaker 12 Like they, they lost two games at the beginning of last year and then just went on a run. Nobody really noticed because they had lost the first two, and so nobody was thinking about them.

Speaker 12 The big 10 season was so messed up anyway.

Speaker 12 It might just be that they are really good.

Speaker 4 Yeah, so the sticking in the big 12, um, I was very focused on this game because randomly, I think it was maybe two Wednesday or Thursday, some random person tweeted me and they said that if Tulane beats Oklahoma, you have to mud wrestle me in Central Park.

Speaker 4 And I said, deal.

Speaker 4 So I was like, it was out of nowhere. I just didn't deal.
It's like a 31-point spread.

Speaker 4 Was that Tulane and Willie Fritz, who's a good coach, like, you know, looking good? Or was it Oklahoma?

Speaker 4 Uh-oh, this was supposed to be the year that the defense, you know, started to get better and they did not look good.

Speaker 12 I think that was some of column A and a lot more of column B. I think Willie Fritz is a very good coach.
And Pratt, Tulane's quarterback, looked really good. I was impressed with him.

Speaker 12 But Oklahoma did not look like they looked at the end of last season. At the end of last season, Oklahoma was just shredding teams and the defensive line was really good and

Speaker 12 they were disruptive. The way they play D-line is they roll a whole bunch of guys in.
They're always fresh. They're almost always getting after the quarterback.
They don't have...

Speaker 12 They've never been able to really recruit the just ready-made 305-pound guy that Alabama has and Ohio State and Clemson have. So they've kind of had to work within what they have.

Speaker 12 And so they'll get these guys that are 260. They'll put 20 pounds on them and they'll move them all around.
And they're really good athletes.

Speaker 12 And Alex Rinch has done a good job with that defense because he took it from being completely pathetic the year before he got there to at the end of last year, they were one of the better defenses in the country.

Speaker 12 So I don't know if it's a case of they just got caught up in the talk, everybody saying, well, this is the best Oklahoma defense in years.

Speaker 12 This is, this is the Oklahoma team that can finally really contend for the national title. I'm not sure.

Speaker 12 I suspect that's what happened. I suspect that they are better than what we saw on Saturday.
I'm not ready to just go off the cliff and say, well, we overrated them.

Speaker 4 They're going to be just average. And to credit to Oklahoma, the Tulane uniforms, those are maybe my favorite uniforms in college football.
The ones they wear

Speaker 4 are so good. Those powder blue with the green and the weight, like incredible uniforms.

Speaker 12 So Troy Dannon, their athletic director, told me that when he got the job, he found a bunch of old logos in a closet, basically. And they had these amazing, like the Angry Wave was one of them.

Speaker 12 And they have a whole bunch more.

Speaker 12 They, they have a, there, there's a company called Homefield that makes those t-shirts, and they put them all on t-shirts, and it's, it's unbelievable, but, but yeah, it's like who puts this stuff in a closet and just forgets about it because their uniforms sucked before this, yeah, and now they're amazing, yeah.

Speaker 4 They're when I saw them coming out in that, I like I said, I was watching that game closely because I was like, I might have to mud-wrestle a stranger in Central Park.

Speaker 4 That's one of those uniforms where it, I think there was probably like a 20-year period of time when that didn't look cool, yeah, and then it started to be cool again.

Speaker 4 You just have to forget about your retro logos for a while. I think that's probably the perfect step.

Speaker 4 You just lock everything in a closet for a while until it's naturally found by like the next generation, then it's cool again. Yeah.

Speaker 12 That is the way to do it. But

Speaker 12 you just have mistakes that happen. Like Pittsburgh trying to copy Notre Dame's colors.
Why would you ever do that? Yeah. Why would you ever get away from that yellow and the script loop?

Speaker 4 Those are the best, but Pittsburgh might have the best colors. Yeah.

Speaker 12 Yeah. Yes.
BYU going navy. Yeah.

Speaker 4 No, BYU needs to be royal blue the royal blue is beautiful i agree no don't change those things yeah no there there are some like uh i think does how state have a black uniform i remember they wore they do they

Speaker 12 so bad it was like what are you doing they roll those out usually about once a year yeah the thing about though the thing about the scarlet and gray and and you know with the silver in the helmet those those colors don't look bad

Speaker 12 together ever. So it's hard to have an ugly uniform.
Like Georgia, their colors are never going to look bad together.

Speaker 12 So even when they wear those, the black jerseys, which are terrible luck for them, they should never, ever wear them. But they still look good.

Speaker 12 It's when you get into, like, my alma mater, the colors are orange and blue. Like, you got to be pretty careful how you distribute those colors, or it's not going to look right.

Speaker 4 Oh, I actually, all right, so thank you because that was actually my last question that I had.

Speaker 4 Dan Mullen, what a piece of shit. He was going for a touchdown at the end when he was when I had

Speaker 4 FAU plus 23 and a half. What was it? I've never seen anything like that.
Florida was

Speaker 4 21.

Speaker 12 Quarterback controversy, baby. Got to figure it out.

Speaker 4 Florida was

Speaker 4 Anthony Richardson or Army Jones. They're playing FAU.
There's a minute left.

Speaker 4 I was probably one of the only people watching the game at that point. They took, and I'm not exaggerating.
They took five deep shots.

Speaker 4 Five shots where they just sent everyone and just launched the ball. I was screaming at my TV.

Speaker 12 I have an idea. Okay.
I have no idea if this is true or not. I have no inside information on this other than I know what happened.

Speaker 12 So there is a gentleman on Willie Taggart's staff at Florida Atlantic who used to be a high school coach in Seattle.

Speaker 12 And when he was a high school coach in Seattle, he had a very good player who actually wound up going to Washington, though Washington has nothing to do with this. But this coach,

Speaker 12 when coaches would come up to see

Speaker 12 to talk to the coach and talk to the teachers, they have what they call contact periods in the NCAA.

Speaker 12 And there are times when the coaches can be on a school's campus, but they're not actually allowed to talk to the player himself. They can talk to everybody around it.
This was one of those times.

Speaker 12 And so Dan Mullen, Jimbo Fisher, Todd Light, who was an assistant in Notre Dame at the time, all of these guys got in trouble with the NCAA

Speaker 12 because this coach happened to walk them by a camera. And then suddenly somebody turned him in and said, hey, these coaches were talking to this player.

Speaker 12 And so Dan Mullen got an NCAA penalty based on this. And that guy's on Willie Tiggert's staff at Florida Atlantic.

Speaker 4 I love it. So I have no inside information, but if I had to guess, that would be one guess.

Speaker 12 And my other guess would just be this.

Speaker 12 Alabama comes to the swamp in two weeks. They play USF on Saturday.
They're going to win that game, but they got to figure out.

Speaker 12 Because if you watched any of the Florida Atlantic Florida game, Emery Jones looked okay, but not great. And this is the guy who's been waiting on that starting job.

Speaker 12 They have have another guy named Anthony Richardson. He's a Gainesville-bred, Eastside High School.
He's massive. He looks like Cam Newton, and he runs like Cam Newton.

Speaker 12 And so they're trying to figure out, okay, who's our guy? And they're going to have to get that figured out before Alabama shows up.

Speaker 12 They have to figure out which of those two gives them the best chance to beat Alabama.

Speaker 12 And I'm wondering, because Anthony Richardson was so good when he got into the Florida Atlantic game, I wonder if they were trying to figure out, all right, how well can he throw? Because

Speaker 12 we need to know this

Speaker 12 and decide before Alabama week starts.

Speaker 4 I like your first, I like the first.

Speaker 4 I like my first one, too. Yeah, because it's always pick the petty ones.

Speaker 12 Always pick the petty ones.

Speaker 4 That's the best part about college football, why it's such a hilarious and awesome sport to bet on, too, because we were talking about it before, how Scott Frost, like I had Nebraska PFT Ed Fordham, I was like, I think Scott Frost is going to cover the spread because he's got to win some money for his boosters.

Speaker 4 Like, eventually, you have to cover a spread for your boosters. Oh, that definitely enters coaches' heads, for sure.
Yes. Like, Like they absolutely think like, all right, I know, because

Speaker 4 what do all these guys who are rich beyond belief, who can't own a sports team, instead they're boosters, what do they do every Saturday? They bet on their team. They bet on their team a lot of money.

Speaker 4 And so they probably.

Speaker 12 Emotional betting is the worst kind of betting.

Speaker 4 Yes. And they're sitting there like, Scott Frost better cover this 40 and a half point spread against Fordham.

Speaker 4 It's the craziest sport for that reason, those dynamics.

Speaker 12 I will tell you, Big Cat, and I don't know if this is going to make you feel better or worse i'm pretty sure paul christis never once considered a spread no never ever doesn't know what the spread is yeah you know you listen lane kippens almost admitted it before oh he did

Speaker 4 yeah

Speaker 4 like there are certain coaches that are like yeah i'm gonna win my boosters some money we actually just talked to deon sanders a second ago and we were trying to explain what the point spread was and he clearly doesn't even understand it to this day.

Speaker 4 He's like, what does plus eight and a half mean? I don't get any of that.

Speaker 12 I think that he's like, I made millions actually playing football, not betting on it.

Speaker 4 There's an eyeball test. If you just show me a coach, I can tell you with 100% certainty whether or not he knows what his spread is.
And if the seat gets hotter, then the spread starts to matter.

Speaker 4 It's directly correlating to

Speaker 4 how well his pants fit. If his pants fit real nice, that guy knows.
If it's just he looks like he just wandered out of a big and tall store in the rain, it's like, okay, that guy's a footballer.

Speaker 12 So I don't know. Cliff Kingsbury, despite looking like a supermodel, does not strike me as someone who has ever known the spread.

Speaker 12 And I say this because Cliff Kingsbury is the person who brought flat front pants into the world of college coaching. Yeah.

Speaker 12 I remember he got the job, and I asked him, You're not wearing pleats, are you? He's like, Oh, hell no. And after he brought the flat fronts in, everybody else switched.

Speaker 4 I think he knows the over-under. That's what he cares about.
He's just like, points. I was scored.
I don't care who scores. Let's just get some on the board.
Score, score, score. Oh, man.

Speaker 4 Well, college football's back. Andy, thank you so much.
It's so good to have, like,

Speaker 4 it really was watching an entire slate of college football and having fans in the stands, it kind of like hit home how shitty last year was. Oh, dude, we

Speaker 4 did Virginia Tech and UNC started on

Speaker 4 Thursday night.

Speaker 4 Jump around Friday night with the Friday night, yeah. Yeah, the

Speaker 12 inner sandman in Blacksburg. And then, and thank you, Fox, for showing us the entire jump around.

Speaker 12 The one part of jump around that, and Big Cat, you can attest to this, that I think

Speaker 4 you can only experience in person is you can hear the stadium creaking yeah as it as they jump do you know that is a i mean that's a lot of lining googles just jumping do you know that when i was a lot of spotted cow when i was a freshman or sophomore they actually tried to ban it because journalists like you complained that the press box was swaying so much

Speaker 4 i went to

Speaker 4 i went to a game that they didn't play jump around and everyone like booed and and motherfucked the the entire second half and then fourth quarter and then they finally were like this is stupid why are we why are we taking this away?

Speaker 4 So it did, there was a game.

Speaker 4 I'd have to go look it up. I think it was probably against like UNLV in September of 2003.
They did not play jump around.

Speaker 12 The stadium hadn't fallen down. It's going to be fine.
Yeah. But you got that.
You got people eating mayonnaise at the Georgia Charlotte. Georgia.

Speaker 4 Not just Charlotte.

Speaker 4 Baby eating mayonnaise.

Speaker 4 Mayonnaise bongs.

Speaker 4 Shout out that guy.

Speaker 12 Hey, mayonnaise sponsored me last week on my podcast, so I can't say I vomited up their brand of mayonnaise on the show last year, and they still gave me money.

Speaker 12 So I have not one bad word to say about this.

Speaker 4 We're Mayo boy. I'm a big Mayo boy.
I actually think that mayonnaise recently has gotten a bad rap in the media because

Speaker 4 it's become cool for people to be like, ew, mayonnaise, that stuff is like cow jiz. I'll never put that on my sandwich.
Mayonnaise is objectively delicious. Don't overdo it.
Don't eat like gobs of it.

Speaker 4 I'm here to be a Mayo stand.

Speaker 12 It's awful. It tastes like despair food.

Speaker 4 No, no, it's delicious. No, Andy.
The two things

Speaker 4 that baffle me online online is like, where did the incredible, effusive praise of avocados come from? And where did the bashing of mayo come from?

Speaker 12 Like the avocado thing, sure, guac is great.

Speaker 4 Guac is great.

Speaker 12 I'll throw an avocado on my sandwich too, but that's, I don't feel like it's, it's the greatest fruit in the history of the world. Mayo, I have always hated.

Speaker 12 It goes back to like daycare. They'd give you the ham sandwich.
But mayo makes, I am willing to admit that mayo makes some wonderful things. Pimino cheese is amazing.
Doesn't happen without mayo.

Speaker 12 I had this chocolate cake once in Mississippi, and the lady goes, You know what the secret ingredient is? And I was like, What? And I figured it was going to be like possum something. No, mayo.

Speaker 12 It's mayo. It makes the most moist chocolate cake you've ever had in your life.

Speaker 4 Mayonnaise cake. You know why it does that? It's because, like, the ingredients and mayonnaise go into cakes, anyways, you know, like egg, right? Oil mixed together.

Speaker 4 It sounds a lot grosser to say it, but no, you're wrong. I feel like if you can eat a turkey sandwich without putting any mayonnaise on it, you're a better man than I am.
Mayonnaise,

Speaker 12 I'm a better man than UPFT.

Speaker 4 Well, I'm sorry you're missing out on the mayonnaise. That was delicious.
The best lubricant ever for a sandwich. You know what it is? Also, avocados, they've got a great marketing department.

Speaker 4 Everywhere you go, if you order an avocado in addition to something, they're like, that's going to cost you extra. Is that okay? And it puts the avocado on a pedestal.
I like that.

Speaker 4 The other thing is, it's

Speaker 12 whoever picked up.

Speaker 12 Yeah, whoever picked up the Brussels Sprouts account like 10 years ago, that's who Mayo needs to hire because Brussels Sprouts were the butt of every vegetable-related joke for 50 years.

Speaker 12 And then all of a sudden, somebody decides to cook them with a little bit of bacon. It's like, oh my God, these are the best things ever.

Speaker 4 You put butter on anything, and it tastes delicious. By the way, Jake, Jake is our crack stats department.
It was September 6, 2003, Akron at Wisconsin, no jump around.

Speaker 4 So there's a trivia question for everyone out there. See,

Speaker 4 were you there for the time?

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I was there.
I remember being like, what the fuck? That was probably like your first college game. Yeah.
You didn't even get a jump around. First or second.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 12 Jake is the type of big Jay who would complain about it.

Speaker 12 He would write the 800-word column down the rail of the newspaper, like, these hooligans listening to this Irish band, who's everlasting

Speaker 4 foxes.

Speaker 4 Everybody, have fun. That's what college football is about.
Facts. Facts.
Come on. Those are all facts.
But, Jake, the second it starts shaking the press box and affecting your call. Call the police.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's tough.

Speaker 12 Well, listen, I love Jake. Jake was in the building during one of the most important moments of my career.

Speaker 12 He was at the Tampa sub-regional in the NCAA tournament in 2008.

Speaker 12 Four double-digit seeds, won in one day. And I just, you know, it was like column writer buffet.
I ended up writing five stories, and it was the easiest,

Speaker 12 single easiest and best day I ever had in my life.

Speaker 4 Wait, but didn't they screw up your deadline? All those upsets? You probably had a lot of gamers ready to go.

Speaker 12 You never get to see that, though. It was amazing.
That was one of those, like, I'm eating breakfast the next morning, like, did I really see that? But that was my first year at Sports Illustrated.

Speaker 12 And to that point, they'd been like, ah, you're the guy we hired to cover football recruiting. We're not going to let you do a whole lot.

Speaker 12 And then after that day, they were like, now you can do whatever you want. And so it changed the arc of my career.
So thank you to Fran McCaffrey in Sienna.

Speaker 12 And I don't even know who's coaching the San Diego Toreros that day, but. Thank you.
Thank you for beating UConn.

Speaker 4 They beat John. John Calhoun.
Yeah, Jim Calhoun. Yeah.
They thought it was just.

Speaker 4 They thought it was something about this new guy, Andy. They're like, this guy, whatever it is, he's got magic.

Speaker 4 I had one last.

Speaker 12 Ty Rogers, Western Kentucky buzzer beater right in front of my face. That was the first game, and I was like, oh, I saw a buzzer beater in the NCA tournament.
Now I can die happy.

Speaker 12 And then it just kept going.

Speaker 4 So I have one last, last question because we've talked about all the food that you mistakenly hate. What's one thing that you're looking forward to trying this year for the first time?

Speaker 4 Or give us like the best thing that you've eaten in your last year of traveling around.

Speaker 12 Okay, so the last year didn't happen. That's the worst thing ever because I live for going to eat things.
I'm going on a trip here the next few days, weeks.

Speaker 12 I'm going to get back to the turkey leg hut in Houston. I've only been there once, but I've never eaten something and had like two or three bites and then realized I'm actually physically drooling.

Speaker 12 Like there is drool running down my chin. And that is the shrimp Alfredo stuffed turkey leg at the turkey leg hut.
So it's dirty rice, shrimp. and Alfredo sauce shoved into like a smoked turkey leg.

Speaker 4 Oh my gosh.

Speaker 12 It is one of the greatest things I've ever eaten in my life, and I am probably going to have one this weekend.

Speaker 4 I love that.

Speaker 4 I love how people in Texas are just like, you know what? One thing we haven't tried stuffing is a leg. So we'll just like, we'll just cram it into anything.
Yeah.

Speaker 12 Let's put rice and shrimp in a turkey leg.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I love it. I love it.
All right. Well, thank you, Andy.
We really appreciate it. Everyone, go check out Andy's podcast.
Find him on The Athletic. He covers college football.

Speaker 4 Best in the country. I'll say it right now.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's just because Tom Fornelly gave us Illinois as his lock of the the week on friday ah so well and and and tom fornelli said iowa state is wisconsin and i was i was literally yelling at my radio so there it is in my truck and i was like no no no tom yeah andy one tommy two tom two i just called him tommy uh tom two thank you andy thanks guys

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Speaker 4 All right, let's get to Mount Rushmore. Actually, before we get to Mount Rushmore, though, a quick word, kind of serious.

Speaker 4 We just want to say something out there. So there's been a couple news stories

Speaker 4 recently about

Speaker 4 drugs being laced with fentanyl. So, I think everyone saw probably the passing of Michael K.
Williams. I don't know if that's officially what it was.

Speaker 4 No, I don't think that there's anything that ties him to

Speaker 4 comedians in LA. And again, this is like a little serious, but weird for us to say, but I think we should say it because we do make jokes about drugs.

Speaker 4 And we're not going to sit here and tell you what you should and shouldn't do, but we will tell you: be safe and get your drugs tested if you are going to do drugs.

Speaker 4 Again, we're not going to sit here and be like,

Speaker 4 don't do drugs, because that would be hypocritical, but be safe,

Speaker 4 get the stuff tested, just really be safe. Buy fentanyl testing kits and then test it a couple times because all it takes is a very small amount.

Speaker 4 There have been reports in the news where it's like, oh, you can't stand in a room with it because it'll knock you out.

Speaker 4 That's not necessarily the case, but all it does take is just one bad little bump, one small amount of drugs.

Speaker 4 If you're using drugs, get them tested. Don't want to see anybody pass away.
Don't want to see anyone end up in the hospital. Just get the strips.
Just get them tested and be safe.

Speaker 4 Yeah, be safe because it's one of those things very, very scary. And we want people to just be safe and use your head out there and, you know.
try to make the right decisions.

Speaker 4 And again, we're not going to sit here and look down on anyone for what they do in their free time. Just be safe about it.

Speaker 4 Also, it might be worthwhile to look into someone in your local area that can supply you with Narcan, which just reverses the effect of any sort of overdose almost instantly.

Speaker 4 You just keep it on you if you can. If you can get your hands on some, it's just a good thing to have, might save somebody that you care about's life.

Speaker 4 You might never use it, but you'd rather have it and not need it than need it and not have it. Correct.
All right.

Speaker 4 Just want to get that out there. All right, let's do the Mount Rushmore.
By the way, Jokovich, right now, hitting balls into the stands to the fans. What a guy.

Speaker 4 I think he's probably trying to kill him. Everybody does that.
What a guy.

Speaker 4 Jake, this is the first time I've ever seen anyone do this.

Speaker 4 He's probably spotted a ball girl in the audience that he's trying to kill right now.

Speaker 4 No, PFT. He's being an incredible sport.
I'm going to. Okay.

Speaker 4 Look, he just hit a little girl. He just hit a little girl on the head with the ball.

Speaker 4 Hasten. Do you want to explain this?

Speaker 6 Yes, so this was a DM that we got on Friday. I'm going to try and pull it up.
But the premise is basically the Mount Rushmore of referee calls.

Speaker 6 I think the original DM was like penalty calls, but we decided this should be more open-ended because there's certain calls that aren't technically penalties, but it's things that referees do.

Speaker 6 So basically, anything, any game you watch, any sport, if a referee is doing something, making a motion, making a call, that qualifies for this Mount Rushmore. All right.

Speaker 4 Numbers. 8.
17. 24.

Speaker 4 69.

Speaker 4 Billy's going to be.

Speaker 4 After PFT said all that stuff. Well, Billy, Billy is like.

Speaker 4 He's baby gronk. You share, like, you're like humans in children.
76. Jilly is most of your DNA with each other.
uh we're gonna go first then hank then pft then big head all right let's do it

Speaker 4 trust trust me on this one oh

Speaker 4 this is has been a disaster it has been a disaster we are never on the same page with any picks no no trust me trust me okay

Speaker 4 what you're about to say is not going to be picks billy

Speaker 4 pushy say it

Speaker 4 say it

Speaker 4 the okay ref makes a call

Speaker 4 giving him the business Or the one very specific, giving him the business. Giving him the business.

Speaker 4 I mean, I think I might quit the team.

Speaker 4 It's a great call. It wasn't a moment.
It was sold several times.

Speaker 4 Giving him the business.

Speaker 4 Some ref back in the 80s or late 70s threw a penalty, and it was like a personal foul. And it was like personal foul number 78.
He got there and gave him the business, and that was his explanation.

Speaker 4 It happened one time, and then somebody repeated it a couple years ago. But

Speaker 4 it's a great call. Good pick, Billy.
Billy. It is not 1-1 it is not anywhere it was

Speaker 4 sure someone else very nice what pft just did i don't even you didn't know that no i no no i knew i knew it i knew everything you said i'm just saying to like

Speaker 4 to do that for billy was a big move it's not because i got one it's not a good pick wild pick it would have been that's a perfect fourth round pick like tossing it i mean i'm a little nervous now because i have one one uh so i'm kind of second guessing this one you do but uh billy billy just picked a kicker in the first round trust him on this one though trust him.

Speaker 4 I'm going to go safety. Okay.

Speaker 4 Safety is. Yeah.

Speaker 6 It's the best because when the referee makes the call, then all the players around him, they just start doing it. Like, it's a great moment in sports.
It doesn't happen that often.

Speaker 6 Seeing all the linemen do the safety over their head, it's kind of like that Egyptian dance.

Speaker 4 It's fun. Yep.
Okay.

Speaker 6 It's just a fun moment. Yeah.

Speaker 4 I mean, that's it.

Speaker 4 And it's rare.

Speaker 6 So when you see it, you're like, oh, shit.

Speaker 4 It's a great pick.

Speaker 4 Number one, one for me, this is what I had as my 1-1.

Speaker 4 When a home plate umpire ejects a manager and

Speaker 4 takes the face mask off and uses that as like a big heave. That is the old heave-ho.
It's a good one. Definitely.

Speaker 4 All right. I will go with and one in basketball.
Nothing better than a fucking and one.

Speaker 4 And then I will do similar motion, actually, a punch out at the plate.

Speaker 4 When you do the point and then the fucking out, that's electric. And it's always, I mean, it's always kind of a bang-bang play because it's at the plate.
I like that too.

Speaker 4 My second pick, I'm going to go with

Speaker 4 charge. Okay.
When you make the charge, and then you point emphatically in the opposite direction. Change the tide.
I can't believe you didn't pick An1, Hank. You live and die by An1.

Speaker 6 I live and die by saying it. I like to hear players say it.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 6 I don't. It's not.

Speaker 4 But the bucket goes in, and then a push.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 I like to say it. I just like to say it.

Speaker 6 I don't do the motion. I just like, and one.

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah. You do say it all the time.
He says it all the time. And one.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 All right.

Speaker 4 Whoa. It's tough.

Speaker 6 I'm going to go with block.

Speaker 4 Ooh, okay.

Speaker 4 It's basically this.

Speaker 4 No, a block.

Speaker 6 Yeah, it's like

Speaker 4 in basketball, a block.

Speaker 4 It's almost like a hit. There's a classic.
Yeah, it's a half suck it. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 6 Was it Jerry Crawford? Was he doing a charge or block when he skipped across?

Speaker 4 Yeah, he skipped. They take like four hops.

Speaker 6 Yeah, it's a legendary. It's a legendary video clip.
Yeah, it's just like a hip thrust, blocker charge.

Speaker 6 You know, some people have made entire careers on just asking the question if this was a blocker charge. So it's clearly a big, big call in sports.

Speaker 4 Yep. All right, Chase.
All right, I will be taking over the rest of this Mount Russell. Oh, wow.
Too late for that.

Speaker 4 He's been relieved of.

Speaker 4 Trust him, though.

Speaker 4 I'm going to go with

Speaker 4 Called Strike 3. Okay, love doing that.

Speaker 4 And then Ed Guns Hockey is known for his first down. So the first down mark.
Okay. Yep.
Yep. First down's a good one.

Speaker 4 It's just a good classic, you know, feels good. All right.
Also, it's good when it's like

Speaker 4 they bring you out to measure and they give you the first down. And the flash card.
Yeah. I think that was Therator before.

Speaker 6 Similar to safety, this one is great just because of the player's reaction that happens when it happens, but a red card.

Speaker 4 Oh, red card.

Speaker 4 That's a good one I had on my list.

Speaker 6 Yeah, players go crazy, start screaming at them. Just the instant reaction to it is great.

Speaker 4 A straight red. Yeah, because, well, I actually think that the yellow to the red is even better.
I don't. I like the the straight red because for a second.
So if you get two yellows, you get a red.

Speaker 4 So they take out the yellow, give you the yellow, and then they take out the red, give you the red. For a second, when a ref takes out a straight red card,

Speaker 4 everyone takes a minute to process it. Like, did he accidentally grab the wrong card? Right, right.
I thought that was going to be yellow. Right.

Speaker 4 All right. PFD, your next pick.
Okay.

Speaker 4 I'm going to go

Speaker 4 with touchback. I like a touchback in a very specific way.

Speaker 4 No, a very specific way. When it's the touchback after.

Speaker 6 I I don't even know what that signal is.

Speaker 4 It's this.

Speaker 4 When the offensive player fumbles the ball through the end zone

Speaker 4 and you are expecting it to be like a touchdown symbol or a safety, and the referee just does the touchback thing, completely changing the momentum of the game. Got it.
Okay.

Speaker 4 All right. Oh, fuck.
There's some good ones still left. All right.

Speaker 4 I'm going to dip into hockey.

Speaker 4 How? Yeah, because this one is electric. Didn't even think about that.

Speaker 4 The good goal after a review when they point to center ice. Fucking awesome.
Awesome feeling.

Speaker 4 And then

Speaker 4 I will go with my last one. Ooh, it's not called a lot,

Speaker 4 but I love... Actually, no.

Speaker 4 There's a lot of good ones. Fuck.

Speaker 4 I'll go with intentional foul in basketball, the X. That always gets me going.
Okay.

Speaker 4 Dropping up the X, and you can do it. Anything you can, most fans know feels good to mimic in the crowd.
All right. Flagrant file.
Sorry. Flagrant file.
Flagrant file. Boom.
Yep. I like that one.

Speaker 4 Mine is similar. It's a little bit different.
Teeing somebody up, hitting them with the hard tee where it bounces off. Yep.
That's great.

Speaker 4 It's a lot of emotion that goes into it, and you feel like the severity of the call with the motion that goes along with it. I have no idea why I picked touchback.
That was a stupid fucking pick.

Speaker 4 So I was trying to be positive. No, no, but it was

Speaker 4 dumb as picked up. it up.

Speaker 4 That made no sense. I literally didn't even know what to call it.

Speaker 4 I didn't even have it on my list. I don't know why I said it.

Speaker 4 I literally don't. I have seven other fucking things on my side.

Speaker 4 I'm really trying to be. Shut the fuck up, hey?

Speaker 4 I'm trying to be positive for you because I know not Rushmore season's not your strong suit. No, it is.
I got off to a hot second. No, it's not.
I got off to a huge season. It's really not.

Speaker 4 It never has been. I got off to a hot fucking start this year.
Yeah, but it's

Speaker 4 a full season. Massively.
It's never been. But that was.

Speaker 4 My silence said a lot there. I was trying.

Speaker 4 I don't know why I said it. It was so bad.
That might have been worse than Billy's. No, it's not worse than Billy's.
I think it might be.

Speaker 4 Well, it might be. Dude, touchback is like.
It might be. Touchback sucks.
It's tired of touchback. I don't know why I said it.
I really don't know.

Speaker 4 No one does. I don't know why I said it.
Yeah. It's not.

Speaker 4 I didn't even thought of touchback until like two seconds before. And we all looked at you like, what are you talking about? But yeah, touchback.
Okay. Hank.

Speaker 6 My last pick, I will do. It's similar to yours, but it's different.
It's a different umpire.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 6 It's the first or third base umpire punch out. So when they check, they check strike three, like did he swing?

Speaker 4 Ah, got it, got it. And then everyone, everyone, all the attention in the entire stadium goes back out.
Check swing punch out. Good swing.
Check swing punch out. Yep, that's a good pick.
Good pick.

Speaker 4 Billy approves of this last pick for what it's worth. Okay.
Touchdown. Good job.
Okay. Way to go.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 Don't overthink it. Yeah, that's it.
Don't PFT it. No.
I didn't even overthink it.

Speaker 4 I underthought it. I think you overthought it.
No, it just came out. It's like I have Tourette's for shitty picks in my rushmore season.
Oh, man.

Speaker 4 All right. So some that were missed.
There's a lot that were missed. Home run.
Home run. Yeah, that's a good one.

Speaker 4 Clipping is one because anytime a ref has to get low on themselves is very funny. What's the one when they go like this? That's out of bounds.

Speaker 4 That one's good. And also, the other part of it is a catch.
A catch on the sidelines is a great one. I like the uncatchable ball.
Yep. Over the head is good.

Speaker 4 I like in soccer when the referee points at a player that just took a dive and tells them to stand up. Yep.
Like ultimately bitching them. Be like, no, no, stand up.
Penalty kick's another one.

Speaker 4 It's similar to the good goal in hockey where they just point to a point, a spot on the field.

Speaker 4 You know what I like in soccer is when the referee makes the symbol of a television with his fingers because it reminds me of RG. Yep.

Speaker 6 Change of possession, like after a turnover?

Speaker 4 Yes. Like after a review.
Yes. After a review.
When they go back out.

Speaker 4 i i think the cutest one is double dribble which we never see but it's just such a fucking cute like to see the ref do that rico vosco specimen yeah i love i love the double dribble it's so fucking cute anytime a ref gets hit in play or out of play by accident they kind of like laugh about it for a second yeah they're just it's not really a call or well it's just and then they like pat the player to be like it's okay it's not really like knocked up yep yeah when the referee gets wheeled off the field is that what you're saying like with a devastating injury

Speaker 4 that time that ump died from a heart attack? Jeez. Oh, come on.

Speaker 4 Well, I mean, you're doing like, what are you even talking about? Like, oh, you're talking about like ACL. Joe West's neck.
No, I'm talking about the

Speaker 4 shit. Like, the ref, the ref's like over the middle, like, someone's running over the middle, doesn't it? The time the ref got screamed spit on by Roberto Almar, John Hirschbeck, yeah, Carl Everett.

Speaker 4 Oh, no, that was a catcher. What are we talking about? Uh, who is it? Who's the offensive tackle that got blinded by the referee's flag? Oh, uh, Orlando Gary, Yeah.

Speaker 4 He was on the Browns.

Speaker 4 Just got drilled right in the eye. Orlando.

Speaker 4 Browns.

Speaker 4 Orlando. If I got Orlando Gary, I'm going to fucking.
Have you guys ever seen him? Orlando Browns when we had him halfway.

Speaker 4 Wait, is that him? No, that's not him. No, no, no, no.
That's not right. No, no, no.
Orlando Brown's in the NFL right now. I want to say it was Orlando Gary.

Speaker 4 I also had one in baseball that you don't see a lot, but it's awesome when it does occur. When the umpire umpire tells players at certain bases to go back to certain bases.

Speaker 4 And he gives like one point there, and that's where he needs to be. He got a ball.
Oh, it is Orlando Brown. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Okay, yeah, yeah. All right.

Speaker 4 He points at them. You're on third base, go back to second, and instructs them around the diamond.
I like that. I also like when

Speaker 4 after a goal, when they zoom in on the soccer linesman whose flag is in the air.

Speaker 4 So like the team is celebrating, and you think, oh, it might be a goal for a second, but then the camera cuts to a shot of just the linesman showing that there's a problem with the goal.

Speaker 4 Yes, I like that.

Speaker 4 Let's see. Travels.

Speaker 4 No one picked travel. Yeah, travels classic.
They don't call it, so we never see it. True.
Wait, what about refs getting into like a pile?

Speaker 4 Trying to find the funnel. I don't think you understand this.
No, there's like there's a fumble and they're trying to peel guys off.

Speaker 4 Again, that's not try to get into the middle of the dog pile. It was calls.
I thought stuff refs do. No, it's calls.
Refs calls. Refs calls and stuff they do.

Speaker 4 What about when all the refs climb on each other? Yeah, what about, yeah.

Speaker 4 No, it's so funny to see you on the back.

Speaker 4 What about when the refs hold out and then they have replacement refs and they let a Hail Mary count against the Packers?

Speaker 6 Not like when the refs put their heads up to the monitor to review something.

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah. Oh, what about

Speaker 4 when the refs stand next to each other shoulder to shoulder and it spells that bruh. Yeah, that's it.
My friend took that picture, by the way. Well, what about when the refs sign a baseball?

Speaker 6 Is he mad that people don't credit him?

Speaker 4 Yeah. What about when the refs wear a white arm sleeve because verbally abusing the refs is a big issue?

Speaker 6 What about when the umpires did like umpire awareness week or whatever?

Speaker 4 That's what I was saying.

Speaker 4 Dude, it's still umpire awareness week. Jim West is going to actually die on that hill.
Face mask. Face mask is a good one.
Anything that makes a ref do something. Horse collar.

Speaker 4 Horse collar is a good one. What is a horse collar rule?

Speaker 6 What's your favorite nickname for refs?

Speaker 4 Blue. Stripes.
Yeah. Zebra.
Zebra. I like blue.
Three blind mice. Blue is just baseball, though.
But they don't even wear blue. I was at the ref that game and and I was like, come on, blue.

Speaker 4 And then I was like, wait, they're not. Yeah, no, blue is only for baseball.
Oh, so, I mean, just sir. Yeah.
You call them like the sir. Yeah.

Speaker 4 One like nitty-gritty thing I learned while broadcasting in football There's only one referee the guy who makes the calls everyone else is referee

Speaker 4 officials officials

Speaker 4 What about when the guy in the stand says hey get off your knees ref you're blowing the game That's a good one, too. Yeah, that's a good pick, right?

Speaker 4 In tennis, when the ball's out, they just scream at the top of their lungs. Really? They scream, Oh! Oh! Oh, Jesus Christ.
Sorry, everyone at home. Sorry, yeah.

Speaker 4 Billy, give us some more picks, Billy. I kind of like drunk Jake.
I like drunk Jake, and I like Billy whatever he's on right now.

Speaker 4 Because I,

Speaker 4 come on, you got one more.

Speaker 4 End the show with one more. One more really good Billy.

Speaker 4 Come on. When the reference is so close.
Keep going. Yeah.
So there's refs. Keep saying it.
So it's one guy. When the ref talks with the coach on a first-name basis.
Ah, that's good. I like that.

Speaker 4 Oh, I like that. My ass is in the jackpot.
Yeah. When they say that, and that's a good one.
Yes. Yes.

Speaker 4 Sometimes when they're chatting, like during a free throw and they don't think it was a foul, the ref will smack them in the butt. Yeah.
That's a good one. I thought that was a foul.

Speaker 4 Oh, when Charles Barkley kisses the ref. at all-star break because they did a race backwards.

Speaker 4 Yeah. That's also another ref move.
When the ref does the three points in the three-point contest, that's fucking hilarious. Even just

Speaker 6 when they hold out the three, I had that on my list.

Speaker 4 A three-and-one is actually

Speaker 4 the three. I know that the fucking one.
There's too much going on. It's confusing for me.
I like how they have one during the dunk contest, too. Yes.

Speaker 4 Just in case.

Speaker 6 I also like, as much as I like the Saiyan one, I think it's better when it's a charge instead of an N1.

Speaker 4 You like the charge more than an N1? I love the N1. Because just the like holding it and then

Speaker 6 but the moment when they think it's an and one and then it switches the momentum shifts.

Speaker 4 Yes, yeah, I like the and one a buzzer beater is like an and one on steroids. Yeah, when they count it to the table

Speaker 4 true

Speaker 4 All right, good Mount Rushmore. No, it wasn't by some people some people did a great job

Speaker 4 touchback Hank and big cat great job Jake good job

Speaker 4 Dude

Speaker 4 the most unique pick people are gonna look at it and be like, whoa, like, whoa. Everyone else is going to be able to do it.
I don't want anyone to vote for it.

Speaker 4 I don't want anyone to vote. I'm so.
Well, I don't think they are. No, Clutchback's like cop choice.
Shut the fuck up, cop choice. You're the most cop person in the world.

Speaker 4 You didn't even say anything.

Speaker 4 You didn't even say anything when we were talking about doing it. It's actually

Speaker 4 the most plain. Yes, I know.
I know it is. They don't even show it.
They don't even show it. It's like half a metronome.
They don't even show it.

Speaker 4 It's like doing a quarter of the let the band play next. Suck this target.
It sucks. It's a stupid motion for stupid people to choose, and it's dumb.
And I wish I hadn't said it.

Speaker 4 I don't know why I said it. Maybe you're throwing it on purpose.

Speaker 6 86.

Speaker 4 99. Wait, wait, wait.
8. 97 is what I'm picking now.
Larry died with COVID. Oh, he did? Yeah.
For real? We don't know if it was because of COVID or because he wasn't vaccinated. Let that be a lesson.

Speaker 4 No, you know, HIPAA. He didn't tell us.
97. 96.
He went HIPAA mode. What are you doing, Leo? Jonathan Hernandez.
Happy birthday, Leo. Coaching.
Happy birthday, Leo.

Speaker 4 You actually could get hired by UConn as a coach. Oh, I was.
Is that yours? Yeah. I'm back, baby.
Yeah, you do do that. I'm back, baby.
There it is. Was that your first time? There we go.
No, no.

Speaker 4 Repeat what you do. You're two-time.
Who's two-time? Jake and Billy? Yeah.

Speaker 4 It's amazing. It's amazing how that fucking

Speaker 4 just turns your luck around. One day I did two in a row.

Speaker 4 But didn't count. The other one didn't count off the official.

Speaker 4 Brian Killy. He did count in my head.

Speaker 4 You say Brian Killy? No, Brian Killer? Brian Kelly might have killed somebody. Yeah, that's why we call him Brian Killy.
Yeah. Jonathan Hernandez is still coaching.
Oh, nice, yeah, so he could coach.

Speaker 4 Yeah, they should put him on a list. Flying squirrels don't actually fly, they glide.
Oh, okay, love you guys.

Speaker 4 I've been coming for your love again.

Speaker 4 Shy away.

Speaker 4 I've been coming for your love up, gay.

Speaker 4 Make me young.

Speaker 4 I've eager.

Speaker 4 I've done

Speaker 4 needless to say.

Speaker 4 I wanna say it's my needs to leave away.

Speaker 4 Tell the life inside it. Say after me.

Speaker 4 It's the bed to the same thing.

Speaker 4 Say after me.

Speaker 4 It's the bed to save the summer.

Speaker 4 Take on me.

Speaker 4 Take

Speaker 4 me on.

Speaker 4 I'll be

Speaker 4 gone.

Speaker 4 I'm feeling that you say

Speaker 4 it all.

Speaker 4 Just to play my mother's away.

Speaker 4 You are the things I've got to remember. We shine away.

Speaker 4 Love becoming ready light.

Speaker 4 Shine away.

Speaker 4 Love becoming ready light.

Speaker 4 Take me

Speaker 4 up.

Speaker 4 I will be

Speaker 4 gone.

Speaker 4 Yeah.