Ryan Fitzpatrick, Hard Knocks Episode 3 And Mt Rushmore Of Villains

Speaker 1 Hey, Pardon My Take listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.

Speaker 2 This college football season, we are feeling the cheesiest with Cheez-It, the ultimate irresistible football-watching snack. Cheez-It brings 100% real cheese and deliciousness to every game.

Speaker 2 Fuel your game day cravings with cheesy, crunchy, salty deliciousness. And fuel your Cheez-It fandom at Cheez-It.com.
Use code STOOL25 for 20% off your order.

Speaker 4 On today's part of my take, we have the one and only FitzMagic Ryan Fitzpatrick on the show. Very excited about this interview.
Great to actually sit down with him.

Speaker 4 Doesn't do a lot of interviews, but did it for us. So very excited for everyone to listen to that.
We have Hard Knocks, C Episode 3, Who Cares?

Speaker 4 Hot Seat, Cool Throne, Mount Rushmore of Villains, great Mount Rushmore. And then Guys on Checks.
So, helping out anyone who's got work issues. We're expanding our brand.

Speaker 5 When cool, creamy ranch meets tangy, bold buffalo. The hole is greater than the sum of its sauce.
Say howdy, partner, to new Buffalo Ranch sauce, only at McDonald's for a limited time.

Speaker 6 At participating, McDonald's.

Speaker 4 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 4 Now in the street, there is violence.

Speaker 4 And then a lot of some work to be done.

Speaker 4 No place to hang out or washing.

Speaker 4 And then I can't blame all on the sun. Oh no, we're gonna rock it down to Elay Trake Avenue.

Speaker 4 And then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 4 Oh, we're gonna rock it down to Elay Trake Avenue.

Speaker 3 And then we'll take it higher. It's part of my take presented by Barstool Sports.

Speaker 4 Welcome to part of my take presented by Cross Country Mortgage. Go to crosscountrymortgage.com slash Barstool right now to learn about low rates or refinancing your home.

Speaker 4 Today is Wednesday, August 25th, and Hard Knocks has taken a nosedive. It was a drone shot, which was cool.

Speaker 3 The drone shot was very cool.

Speaker 4 Very cool.

Speaker 3 It was maybe the best shot of any hard knocks since the Baker Mayfield spiral.

Speaker 4 It was awesome, but that is what hard knocks, like, we're at a point now.

Speaker 3 That was tonight's Mojo moment.

Speaker 4 It was the mojo moment. We're watching the hard knocks because that's what we want to do.
But there's also moments where we're like, why are we doing this? Because it,

Speaker 4 I don't know. Let me ask you this.
Let me ask you the robot question. Oh, roback.com.
Go right now. Performance polos.

Speaker 4 And just for me asking you this robot question, PFT, I'm going to gift you a performance polo. Use code PFT.
You get 20% off R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com code PFT.

Speaker 4 My robot question, PFT, is, do you think Hard Knocks has taken a nosedive because teams are just not giving them enough? Or do you think, like,

Speaker 4 who's to blame for this?

Speaker 3 So I think we're to blame. Okay.
I think we got to stick our hand up on this one because watching Hard Knocks is pretty similar to actually participating in a football training camp.

Speaker 3 Over the course of the summer, we're excited to get in there. Now we're just like, we're going through the motions at this point.
It's week three of the preseason. We're ready to break camp early.

Speaker 3 I think there's optimism when you go into it.

Speaker 3 And then once you get in the grind of having to watch hard knocks every week for an hour that comes on at 10 o'clock on a Tuesday night, like that's tough work that we're putting up here.

Speaker 4 So what you're saying is next year, we need to just Brett Favre this thing and show up to like the fourth episode.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I think maybe if you were to take the entire training camp and then distill it into two hours,

Speaker 3 I think that would be good. A film.
A film, yeah. Just like, just have it, have it be two hours on HBO, like the last week of the preseason after the cuts.
That way you get to meet everybody.

Speaker 3 You get to meet all the kids. You don't have to have 30-minute montages of Daquan, what's his name? Daquan.

Speaker 3 Was it Hurd? Daquan Hurd?

Speaker 3 Putting his contacts in? Yeah, I could deal without that one. Just have it.
Listen, have it be like 30 minutes of a drone shot.

Speaker 4 Or 30 minutes of Trayvon Diggs' son, who is so damn cute. It actually makes me want to have my son in the studio just cheering me on during the taping of the show.

Speaker 4 Or Alar Cohn's mom, who, listen, she was very nice. Passionate lady.
Passionate. It does feel like she used up a lot of God mojo in a preseason game.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's tough. So in the Hall of Fame game when the Cowboys were playing,

Speaker 3 I came so close to asking God for six more points.

Speaker 3 And I stopped myself because I'm like, I can't use my God request in the Hall of Fame game I need to save that for like a Thursday night game when I need a fuel goal to get a push yeah you need that or or

Speaker 4 throwback when you're you're like in your 20s and you're violently hungover you need the old God I'll never drink again if you just get me through this yeah

Speaker 3 those are the God moments so when you say God I'll never ask you for another thing again God knows that that someone who's not going to ask God for another thing would never even say that.

Speaker 4 Right. So preseason two, it just felt like she was using up a a lot of good mojo.
You know, maybe save that for cut day. Yeah.
I hope they don't cut him because I love him. His family story.

Speaker 4 That was awesome. And also his brother just being like, it's awesome that I get to go to AT ⁇ T, watch my brother, and eat nachos and hot dogs.
Yeah. Yeah.
No, that's relatable.

Speaker 4 That's very relatable. They're a relatable family.

Speaker 3 Yes, but I am. I'm dreading next week's cuts because I think Denucci is at the end of his line.

Speaker 4 Three picks.

Speaker 3 He's got the arm launch angle thing going on.

Speaker 4 You know what the problem is with Denucci? Is the the fucking head thing he's wearing?

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's partially the head thing, and it's partially just the like, it's a JMU quarterback thing. We're like Ohio State for Division I double A.

Speaker 3 All our quarterbacks, they're great in college, don't really pan out. I just, he looks like he should be on,

Speaker 4 he should be coming off a mountain in Veil, like with that thing on. You know what I mean? It's got a little bit of that skiing vibe, and I just, listen, it works if you're winning.

Speaker 4 If you throw three picks, it doesn't.

Speaker 3 Yeah, and they even said, like, great thing about DiNucci is he's not afraid to go out there after he's thrown two picks and throw a third one. No.
He's got all the confidence in the world. Yes.

Speaker 3 I think that I don't like watching the cutscenes in hard knocks. Anyone who's ever lost a job can probably relate to it a little bit, but it doesn't look good for Denucci.

Speaker 3 He'll find another place to latch on. He'll have somebody, John Gruden will probably fall in love with him because John Gruden will take in any homeless quarterback on the streets.

Speaker 4 I think the worst part about the cutscenes, and Jake probably loves this part, is when they're like, you were this close, man. Like, you, you know, keep grinding.
You'll make it. Yeah.
That part is.

Speaker 4 Great job. Yeah,

Speaker 4 if you're going to cut me, just cut me. Uh-huh.

Speaker 4 Don't even, I'm not even going to show up. Just call me.
Leave a message.

Speaker 3 And they're always like, you know, it's a numbers thing at this point. So, you know, we've all put in a lot of hard work.
It's not, it has nothing to do with your play.

Speaker 3 It's just that there are a lot of people on the team that are better than you.

Speaker 4 If anyone calls, I will tell them that you're a great worker. Yeah, exactly.
Best recommendation.

Speaker 3 Don't want you around here anymore. No.
If you could just leave your playbook and get the fuck out. But I am very impressed with their players.

Speaker 4 I would so much rather have them just spit in my face and be like, you suck. You're slow.
Find a real job. They should have.
You have

Speaker 4 to.

Speaker 4 The motivation would be spitting in their face.

Speaker 3 You know what motivates players is just getting cut in general.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Like, that's the best motivate. They get mad because they got cut, and then, yeah, then they try to act like, hey, can we still be friends? We love you.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Hey, listen, if you ever need me, pick up the phone, call.

Speaker 3 I'm here for you. I've got a lot of friends that are out there.
You know, they're still in the marketplace right now. I'll hook you up with them if you want to.

Speaker 4 I would actually love to be like a player who gets cut from multiple teams and just then decides, like, 10 years later, just start calling all the coaches to cut you.

Speaker 4 Be like, hey, remember when you said you'd pick up the phone? Can I have $10,000?

Speaker 3 Yeah, hey, can you co-sign on this Acura?

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 3 You said anything.

Speaker 4 You said anything.

Speaker 3 You said I was one of the best guys that you've ever been around around that you no longer wanted to be around.

Speaker 4 Gonna need your kidney.

Speaker 4 Please.

Speaker 3 So

Speaker 3 speaking of coaches and asking favors, I think the only thing that can save this season hard knocks is if McCarthy smashes a watermelon. He's got you for us.

Speaker 4 For us. For us.
For the team. For us.

Speaker 3 For us, as viewers. So you need to bet on the Jaguars.
Yeah. Because if you bet on the Jags this week, knowing what McCarthy likes to do to you, that will be a watermelon.

Speaker 4 He'll smash it.

Speaker 3 But again, that's almost worse than asking God for a favor in the preseason, is smashing a watermelon in the preseason. Yes.
You do need to wait on for that.

Speaker 4 All right. Other just notes.

Speaker 4 So Trayvon Diggs' son, very, very cute. Also, anytime you put any kid under five years old in a bucket hat, it is infinitely cuter.

Speaker 3 I want to have a kid. I want to have a son just have a hype man like that.

Speaker 4 Yeah, he was

Speaker 4 awesome, just screaming. Although I did hear that last

Speaker 4 high-pitched scream. I know that scream.
That one's bad. That's a kid's scream, yeah.

Speaker 3 That's a kid's scream. That's like Simba trying to roar.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's tough. The card doctor was electric.

Speaker 4 I would watch him for an hour because just like the idea that this guy, fourth generation cowboy employee, which is incredible, he gets asked to play cards with Dak Prescott.

Speaker 4 And then like the scene where he is playing cards, beats them, and walks it off. Like, don't ask me to come back down here.
That's such.

Speaker 4 That's such a cool moment that I think everyone would aspire to do to like beat a professional athlete in something something and then talk a little shit.

Speaker 3 Yeah, well, that happens to Dak occasionally.

Speaker 4 Yes.

Speaker 3 Gets beaten by some people that aren't professional athletes.

Speaker 4 It's true.

Speaker 3 But

Speaker 3 Panama City Beach, hey, listen, if there's one place where you can just wipe that off, everyone should get their ass kicked in Panama City.

Speaker 4 We should make that go reviral.

Speaker 3 In their life, yeah.

Speaker 4 Oh, Dak Prescott's doubtful for week one.

Speaker 4 He got beat up.

Speaker 3 Yeah, Dak Prescott, parentheses, got stomped by Sigma Chai, questionable for week one. But yeah, that guy was awesome.
And also, if you're just a mailman, that's a cool nickname that you can have.

Speaker 3 People can just call you the mailman and be like, yeah, that's awesome.

Speaker 4 Well, the card doctor. That's my job.
Yeah, card doctor is pretty damn cool.

Speaker 3 That's pretty good, too.

Speaker 4 And then Jerry Jones, can I get a little Jerry Jones for the line he had?

Speaker 3 Which one?

Speaker 4 I had more shots than a cocker span.

Speaker 3 Hey, get that. You don't need to worry about sticking me with any pricks, man.
I'm not going to circumcise a mosquito here. I had more shots than a goddamn good man.

Speaker 4 The man went into Gruden. Yeah, yeah, he did.
He did a little bit. So

Speaker 3 why didn't we have Stephen Jones, Jerry Jones's son, helping out Kwan with his contact lenses? As far as I can tell, that's what Stephen Jones' job is, is to clean people's eyewear.

Speaker 4 He's a glass doctor.

Speaker 3 I do think that you should have somebody on your team that has rec specs at all times. Yeah.
Like, that's a great guy. That's a glue guy.

Speaker 4 Yes. And also, it does.

Speaker 4 Anyone who's played any sport at any level knows that before a game, you look across the sideline and size up the opponent.

Speaker 4 If you see a guy in rec specs, you're like, well, we're going to fucking win today. Yeah.
So you get them false confidence, and then you beat their ass. So that's, that's, I would have,

Speaker 4 my guys wearing like pocket protectors, rec specs, all of them on crutches. Just give them some confidence.

Speaker 3 Billy, you played football for a while. If you saw a guy with rec specs on the opposing sideline, what went through your mind?

Speaker 4 Scrub. Yep.

Speaker 3 Yeah, well, that's because you're not a rider. Because I know another guy that wore rec specs back in the day.
You are scrubbing. You walked right into that one, Billy.

Speaker 4 Yep.

Speaker 3 I played you like a goddamn fiddle on that one.

Speaker 3 Disavow Billy.

Speaker 4 Billy just got it. Yeah,

Speaker 4 just right now. That just hit him.

Speaker 3 No Dave Quinn this this week. That was tough.
Yep. I would have liked to see him coaching.

Speaker 4 But we did get Bob McAdoo in the background.

Speaker 3 We got McAdoo. We got Joe Philbin.
Yep. The Cowboys are just.
I think people don't realize enough how crazy it is that Jerry Jones, the owner of the team, he is the general manager.

Speaker 3 He's like, he's grinding film and

Speaker 4 grading players out. I'm sure he's got all the analytics.

Speaker 4 He's going on scouting. He goes scouts teams all the time.
He goes to the East-West game, the Shrine game, whatever it is. Senior Ball.
The Sexes game.

Speaker 4 He goes to all that.

Speaker 3 He lives at a Hotel Sixes all the time.

Speaker 4 He's walking around with a stopwatch at all the time.

Speaker 3 That's what Jerry does.

Speaker 4 Yeah. All right.
So Hard Knock stinks.

Speaker 4 All right. Before we get to Hot Seat Cool Throne, obviously, people saw the news the tragic passing of Jimmy Hayes.
So we wanted to at least acknowledge that.

Speaker 4 I knew Jimmy. I was introduced to Jimmy in 2013 when he was on the Blackhawks and the Stanley Cup run.
He's very close with our very good friends at Spit and Chiclets. So just tragic.

Speaker 4 And it's one of those moments. Like, I think I, you know, like I said, I knew him a little bit, but also just the fact he has two kids that are almost identical ages to my

Speaker 4 two kids. And it's just, it's fucking terrible.
And it's one of those like,

Speaker 4 you know, life's too short. Tell people that you love them kind of moments.
You see the outpouring from the hockey community. It's like there was not a single person that has a bad story about him.

Speaker 4 Like he was the ultimate locker room guy, ultimate, you know, teammate. He was

Speaker 4 He was one of the first athletes that I met who was like a fan of Barstool. And it was one of the coolest moments.

Speaker 4 I remember meeting him in 2013 and it was, he was one of those guys that everyone liked to be around. And

Speaker 4 it's just, it's really, really tragic. And,

Speaker 4 you know, I think anyone who met him, heard him, podcast, whatever it may be, their life was better for it.

Speaker 4 So we just wanted to say something for the hockey community, for Spit and Chicklets guys, for the Hayes family who was very close to Barstool. So

Speaker 3 really, really, really tough. I never met the guy, but

Speaker 3 a way that you can tell a lot about somebody is after they pass away, like what the reaction is. And it was just all people having the nicest things ever to say about the guy.

Speaker 3 People that I love cared very deeply about him and thought of him as a brother.

Speaker 3 And so, you know, there's obviously it's a heartbreaking time and nothing good that you can say, but it certainly sounds like he had a very positive impact in his short time.

Speaker 4 And it does sound like there will be a lot of people who will be in his children's life, because like I said, that part just like fucking, it's rare that a death like really hits me, and that one hit me pretty damn hard on Monday night, especially when I was like putting my son to bed.

Speaker 4 It's fucking really, really bad. So we're thinking about him.
We're thinking about the people that are close to us, like PFT said.

Speaker 4 And just wanted to throw that in there.

Speaker 4 Can't really transition from that.

Speaker 4 We did record this part after this, so if you're wondering why it sounds so upbeat after that. Well, let me do a side transition to buffer it.

Speaker 4 Baseball is kind of back because we watched the Braves Yankees game that was electric.

Speaker 4 That was actually the sign that we knew hard knocks wasn't good anymore was we had Braves Yankees on and we were all watching Braves Yankees while like half watching or out of the corner of our eyes hard knocks.

Speaker 3 How does that work if there's a foul tip called on a zero strike and then it wasn't tipped? What happens on that? I guess it's not reviewable.

Speaker 4 It's not reviewable. So, Hank, are you nervous about the Yankees? Because they've now won 11 straight?

Speaker 4 Getting hot too early. I like that.
I like that.

Speaker 4 That's a great answer. You had that ready to go.
That's a fact.

Speaker 4 Am I wrong? No, you're not.

Speaker 3 Hank, I'm looking at the calendar right now.

Speaker 3 Is this October? No.

Speaker 4 No. Is it even

Speaker 4 October? September? No.

Speaker 4 I don't think it is. No.

Speaker 4 Yeah,

Speaker 4 it's called September.

Speaker 4 That sandwich month between August and October? No, it's not. Line? It's line?

Speaker 3 It's not September.

Speaker 3 The Yankees.

Speaker 4 The boys of summer.

Speaker 3 They are looking like they're having fun. And whenever you see a Yankees team start to have fun, it's like a precursor for maybe some problems.
Yes.

Speaker 4 And I mean, if Chapman, like, if that's your closer, I would. Oh, he's the one who's

Speaker 4 confident. I'm not sure that going into October.

Speaker 3 Who's a sweatier man, Aroldus Chapman or Patrick Ewing, in the history of New York sports? Yeah.

Speaker 3 Because Aroldis Chapman, he is able to accomplish Patrick Ewing-like levels of sweat in a much shorter period of time.

Speaker 3 Patrick Ewing, he had that sweat going, but usually it was after, I don't know, maybe like 30 minutes of being out on the court. Remember Shaq, though?

Speaker 4 Shaq gets obviously not a New York athlete, but Shaq used to be like pouring sweat during the national anthem. I always was shocked by that.

Speaker 4 Aroldus Chapman, he wears long sleeves. Like, it's Atlanta in August.
It can't be less than 90 90 degrees, and he's just sweating through it.

Speaker 4 I think it's because you get a better grip on it when you do the sweat and the rosin.

Speaker 3 And his baseball cap was just dripping, pouring out sweat, which you have to imagine underneath there was like a swamp on top of it.

Speaker 4 Someone check it out for handicapping October when it's October and it's cool and it's brisk. You don't have that sweat to mix with the rosin.
I also

Speaker 4 dump water on himself before he comes out.

Speaker 3 I also wonder what sort of

Speaker 3 performance-enhancing substances you might take that would cause hyperhydrosis as as a side effect. Something to look into.

Speaker 4 Interesting. One other quick side note: the third TV was on the Red Sox game and they won.
Oh, there you go. And you watched.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Also, quick side note: we're at the point of crate videos where we're getting the really horrible injuries, which is my sweet spot. Watched a person break their leg and arm today.

Speaker 3 I would much different videos. I would rather watch a leg break 10 times out of 10 over a snapped arm.
Snapped arms, they hit so different.

Speaker 4 Well, you know what it is?

Speaker 4 So, as someone who's watched a lot of these videos the pft is kind of right because the arm break usually the person stands up and is like like like basically shows their arm to the camera in shock the leg break very rarely you get someone standing up and i think we've seen enough leg breaks yeah or ankle sprains as in dak prescott but we've seen like enough leg breaks in sports that we watch commonly we don't you don't really see that many arm breaks and when you do see them the person usually like grabs their arm and runs off the field.

Speaker 3 So you don't see the bin back. I actually think breaking your arm at the elbow is the most painful injury to watch.

Speaker 3 Have you ever broken a bone?

Speaker 4 A lot of them.

Speaker 3 Have you snapped a leg?

Speaker 4 Yeah. Ankles, leg, arm, shoulder.
Yeah, a lot of them. Damn.
I have bad bones. Terrible bones.
Maybe that's why I love them. Because I'm like, yo, I know what that feels like.

Speaker 3 I'm not representation. Been a while.

Speaker 4 It's important. Have you broken bones? Oh, yeah, you broke bones.
Billy feels like a guy who has not broken any bones. Good genetics.
Why would you say that?

Speaker 3 Because he didn't play in college.

Speaker 4 No, but you did. You did.
You haven't, right? I have not.

Speaker 4 There's like you know, everyone knows the guy who's like played sports, but just for some reason, he's got great genetics, flexibility, whatever it may be.

Speaker 4 And then on the other side, it's me who, like, if I fucking walk off a curb, Liam knows, Bubba knows, you walk off a curb funny, and you're fucking

Speaker 4 you can't. Yeah, PFT broke his bone walking.
Walking, yeah. Although, PFT, I mean, Bubba got hit by a car.
Yeah, Well,

Speaker 4 Bubble had hit by a bad guy. Allegedly.

Speaker 4 Allegedly. Confirmed.
By who?

Speaker 4 Oh,

Speaker 4 me.

Speaker 4 I don't know. Uh-huh.

Speaker 3 Billy, I'm joking about your college career. But I think they

Speaker 3 do. There is something to be said.
What a synthetics guy. With Big Cat saying, you were too busy injuring other guys to hurt yourself.

Speaker 4 No, no, no, but I'm being serious.

Speaker 4 Everyone knows the really good athletes. Billy, that's a compliment.
Take it. Really good athletes who just,

Speaker 4 their bodies are better and they don't break bones.

Speaker 3 I have not, I've drank a lot of milk.

Speaker 4 There you go, Jim Harbaugh.

Speaker 3 Jake, have you ever broken a bone?

Speaker 4 Foot in first grade.

Speaker 6 Jumped off a stair.

Speaker 3 You jumped off.

Speaker 4 It was like I skipped three to get to the bottom. Bad boy.

Speaker 4 Didn't work out. Never did that again.
Nope.

Speaker 3 What did the safety patrol say? Was he like, told you? Yeah.

Speaker 4 No, it wasn't in school. Friends house.
Ah. Tough.
Carpet? No. Oh, okay.
Time. That would have been.
Jumping.

Speaker 3 Oh, my God. I wish there was a video of Jake.
Are you jumping?

Speaker 4 Watch this, guys?

Speaker 4 No, I don't remember. First grade, but I've had shoulder surgery, deviated septum.
That's not a bone. Yeah, I'm just saying

Speaker 4 procedures. Allergies.
Allergies. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Hypochondria. A lot.
Yeah, all those things. Hank, you've broken bones.
No?

Speaker 4 No. Yeah.
Oh.

Speaker 4 I think from like first to third grade, I've broken both of my arms like three times. Yeah.
So I'm so ambidextrous.

Speaker 4 Dude, the first time I ever got on a skateboard, skateboard, I literally jumped on it, rolled about five feet, fell straight forward and broke my wrist. Oh, no, I have broken a bone.

Speaker 3 I cracked my L5 vertebrae.

Speaker 4 Oh,

Speaker 4 that's bad. Okay.

Speaker 3 But then I didn't know about it and found out about it later.

Speaker 3 I think if you get your kid a trampoline or a skateboard, you're just basically like, hey,

Speaker 3 you're going to spend the summer upstairs.

Speaker 4 Trampolines, pools, skateboards. I almost broke my ankle playing tennis with PFT and Hank last year.
Oh, yeah, that's right.

Speaker 3 Pretty much broke it. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 yeah um all right well that was good well to quote quote joe burrow he says if i died without scars that just means i did nothing worth fighting for yeah so it looks like us over here badasses front lines

Speaker 3 hell yes hey it's pft here reminding you that boars head makes game day entertaining elevated and effortless whether you order catering platters ahead from your local boars head retailer or you create your own spread at home with Boar's Head premium deli meats and cheeses, you are sure to impress your guests.

Speaker 3 My favorites like oven gold turkey or blazing buffalo-style chicken paired with their classic Vermont cheddar or creamy Munster cheese are sure to score big and help me elevate my entertainment every time, whether it's for a tailgate or a home gating celebration.

Speaker 3 Seriously, guys, it's a game-changing flavor for every gathering. Boarshead, committed to craft since 1905.

Speaker 4 Hot seat cool throne, Hank. My hot seat is Cam Newton.

Speaker 4 And kind of Cole Beasley, similar reasons, but Cam Newton's unvaccinated. He is testing negative.
That's personal. That's a HIPAA violation.
Apparently, yeah, sorry.

Speaker 4 Well, no, it's really not because of the way things sh shook out. But apparently him and the Patriots were not fully up to speed on the COVID regulations and rules.

Speaker 4 And he went to an out-of-state doctor's appointment, which apparently broke.

Speaker 4 What was the doctor for? I don't know. Can we get Andy Dalton to see this doctor? Sure.
I don't understand the joke.

Speaker 3 You can never be too healthy, big cat.

Speaker 4 Like Andy Dalton going to this protocol. Nice guy, but so that Justin Fields could start.
Because I assume that's what's going to...

Speaker 4 I saw the Belichick where he was like, Does this open up a spot for Mac Jones, like an opportunity? He's like, Didn't he say yes? Yeah, Michael Girardi, there was a quote earlier.

Speaker 4 He said, Persources, there's a level of frustration internally with the Cam Newton situation.

Speaker 4 One important member of the organization believes this has opened a window of opportunity for rookie Mac Jones. Team practice today, and then with New York Giants tomorrow.

Speaker 4 I mean, that's Belichick's whole thing: the team, the team, the team. Right.

Speaker 4 Doesn't matter what it is, but if you if you fuck up your commitments to the team, like it's an advantage for Mac Jones to get playing time. Yeah.

Speaker 4 So yeah, I mean,

Speaker 4 it sucks. It sucks for Cam Newton.
It sucks for Cole Beasley's similar thing where it's like he's testing Nick. I don't think so.
Well, it doesn't. What do you mean? They could just get vaccinated.

Speaker 4 Well, right.

Speaker 3 It's his choice. And if you make a choice, there are consequences to your choices.

Speaker 4 I don't feel bad.

Speaker 3 Now, by the way, I did take a look at the team.

Speaker 4 I don't feel bad for Cam During the camera. I feel bad for the patient.

Speaker 4 You know, the team that I root for having to deal with this type of stuff.

Speaker 4 But yeah, he should probably just get vaccinated. Yeah, be a good teammate.
Jerry Jones said that. Jerry Jones was like, everyone should get vaccinated.
Yeah, so do 45.

Speaker 4 My cool throne.

Speaker 4 My cool throne is college football. Week zero is here.

Speaker 4 It's back. Football is.
Hey, guys. Football's back.
Football is back. Football is back.

Speaker 3 It's officially back.

Speaker 4 Nothing triggers Hank more than us saying football is back for the entire month of August.

Speaker 3 Every year we do it because there are different reasons every week for football being back.

Speaker 4 It's so mad. When you see the first commercial for hard knocks, football

Speaker 3 of hard knocks for back.

Speaker 4 When rookies show up in the third week week of

Speaker 4 July,

Speaker 4 football's back.

Speaker 3 Yeah, when the Packers do the little bicycle thing, football's back.

Speaker 4 Football's back. I'm the biggest pigskin head on this podcast.
Oh, really? Pigskin head.

Speaker 4 But college football is back this weekend. Play barstool.
You guys may have heard of it. We have a new game.
So there's been a lot of games. There's the pigskin parlay on Sundays.

Speaker 4 Now we have a game for Saturdays. It is college football-based.
It's over-under.

Speaker 4 So this is for every state that doesn't have the sportsbook app. This is where every state period.
Every state, period. Got it.
Even Florida. Except Florida.
Except Florida.

Speaker 4 So if you're in a state without the sports book, if you're in a state with a sports book, bet on the barstool sportsbook. And do this.
And do this. In New Jersey, we are now live.

Speaker 4 We are now live in New Jersey, and we are now live with the college football game. Last year when the Pigskin parlay hit, I said if we get 200,000 entries, I'll get a cat.
And I'm going to match it.

Speaker 4 You're going to get two cats.

Speaker 4 Two cats. I'll get two cats for 200k entries.
The contest closes this Saturday. One elderly one.
I'll get one elderly one and one 200K. Well, that's like about to die, so you have to deal with that.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I'll get one.

Speaker 4 I want it to die. I want you to get really attached to it, and then it dies.

Speaker 3 I would like for one of the cats, maybe the elderly one, to have some sort of illness that you have to give it injections.

Speaker 4 Yeah, and like,

Speaker 4 I want it to live for what, maybe eight months. So, you're like, ooh, I kind of love this thing, and then boom, dead.
I'll get one Marlinsman cat and one, like, little baby kitten.

Speaker 3 So, the main one, the main coon, is that what it's called? Sure. Those things are sick.

Speaker 4 You should get a bobcat and a kitten and see if the bobcat eats the kitten.

Speaker 4 That's going to be a good thing. I don't know if you can buy a bobcat, Billy.
You won't have a boss a lot. Yeah, there we go.

Speaker 4 Getting up. You play jungle cats.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 But yeah, so your weekends are covered. If you're in a state with the Barcelon Sportsbook, you can bet on it.
And either way, you can play in the Play Barcelona.

Speaker 4 Saturday, college football, Sunday, NFL. Football is back.

Speaker 4 There we go. Good job, Hank.

Speaker 4 All right.

Speaker 4 Then just hit the over on every single one. Yeah.
I think you have to for

Speaker 3 week zero, excuse me. Yeah.
Just 10 overs.

Speaker 4 All right, PFT, you're whose hot seat, cool throw.

Speaker 3 My hot seat is Curses. Curses are on the hot seat.
Tony Final won a golf tournament.

Speaker 3 The curse of the Puerto Rican Open is over, even though some people say that it ended a long time ago when some other guy who's not Tony Final.

Speaker 3 But that doesn't count. Tony Final won the Northern Trust.
So it's, yeah, the curse is done. The curse of the Puerto Rican Open.
I guess people are free now to win that tournament.

Speaker 4 Now, let me ask you a question. I just cursed the Falcons because they looked at Blake Bortles but didn't sign them.

Speaker 3 You can't curse the Falcons.

Speaker 4 Well, no, I realized after I cursed them that I might have actually freed them.

Speaker 3 Yeah, no, it's a double curse.

Speaker 4 Right. So, yeah,

Speaker 3 that's really the only way to get rid of the Falcons. So now you have to bet on the Falcons.

Speaker 4 Yeah, although I think they're going to suck.

Speaker 3 I think they're going to suck. You can still bet on them.

Speaker 3 Sucky teams are the best teams to bet on them.

Speaker 4 I moved the table by like an inch, and I'm very off right now.

Speaker 3 I'm going to make it through it. My cool throne.

Speaker 4 I am. I'm off.
I feel very exposed. Ted Lasso.

Speaker 3 Ted Lasso take Quakes on the Cool Throne.

Speaker 3 Just in general, fictional characters do eat pussy on the cool throne because there was an awesome tweet from Carol Blymeer today. People are mad about there's now been a backlash to Ted Lasso.

Speaker 3 Then there was the backlash to the backlash against Ted Lasso.

Speaker 4 I haven't followed any of this and I feel very free.

Speaker 3 Oh, it's wonderful. But then Carol Blymeyer stepped in online and totally settled everything.

Speaker 3 Responded to somebody saying that this season of Ted Lasso is not good.

Speaker 3 And she said, I think what you're not ready to admit that what really bugs you about Ted Lasso is that men go down on women before satisfying their own needs. You hate that women tell men.

Speaker 4 This is a spoiler. I haven't watched it yet.

Speaker 3 I mean, spoiler alert. There's a guy that eats pussy on the show.
Okay.

Speaker 4 Classic.

Speaker 4 Seems like a very important plot point.

Speaker 3 It is. You hate that women tell men what they want sexually and get it.
You feel threatened by confident women. And then she hit us with the emoji of the dartboard with the dart on the bullseye.

Speaker 4 Hold on. So she's saying that the season sucks because of that? No, she's saying that.
Other people say that it sucks.

Speaker 3 This is now the backlash to the backlash to the backlash to the backlash

Speaker 3 for Ted Lasso.

Speaker 3 And we've reached the point in the discussion around Ted Lasso

Speaker 3 where there's this woman who steps in saying that the real reason men hate it is because there's a guy that's not.

Speaker 4 And then we have to remember that there are literally millions of people who watch this show without sharing a thought about it publicly. Correct.
Correct.

Speaker 4 The vast majority of people just watch the show and then keep going with their work.

Speaker 3 Right. For me.
I, that, that part never occurred to me to be something to feel anyway but laugh about because it's funny when it happens. Yeah.
But no, she's taking it to mean something. Got it.

Speaker 3 So that would be hot seat.

Speaker 4 Is that Batman?

Speaker 3 Batman wouldn't go down on a girl. Is that what we were talking about like two months ago? Yep.

Speaker 4 Yeah. The studios took it out.
The studios took it out. Yeah.
They took it out. They took it out.

Speaker 3 But yeah, this is it's quite a take-quake. Shout out Carol Blymer.
That's, I think, a front runner for Take of the Year so far.

Speaker 4 The only reason I don't put in Take of the Year is I still don't understand who she's mad at.

Speaker 3 She's mad at the people that are saying that Ted Lasso is not good this season.

Speaker 4 But they don't. They're just saying it because they just don't like the show anymore.
But they're actually probably saying it because they're trying to be hipsters against. Correct.
Got it.

Speaker 3 But Carol, I think, is mad because.

Speaker 4 I don't watch shows that come out once a week. I wait to binge them.

Speaker 3 Yeah, Carol's mad because I think really who she's mad at is the people that aren't retweeting her online.

Speaker 4 Got it.

Speaker 3 So she was like, I got to talk about eating some pooontang.

Speaker 4 Carol's son. And then I'll get that interaction.
Carol also, like, that's a, that should be a, that's kind of a,

Speaker 4 what's it called? What's Karen adjacent? Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3 No, Carol is Karen's, like, bitchy friend who's a lawyer. So Karen is like, I'm going to call my friend, and you're going to regret ever kicking me out of this wrestler.

Speaker 4 She went to NYU law. Yeah, and then Carol will be like,

Speaker 4 here's a question. She didn't actually practice law.

Speaker 3 No, but she did.

Speaker 4 But she did at one point. She tells everyone she did.

Speaker 3 Yes. She watched Aaron Brockovich seven times.

Speaker 4 All right. My hot seat is the SEC, all teams not named Tennessee, because Josh Huipel, who is the new coach of the Tennessee Volunteers,

Speaker 4 said that the team is, he loves the team's energy and effort in approaching like walking upstairs.

Speaker 4 So it's really getting micro here, like just literally putting one foot in front of the other, very football guy. Also, just

Speaker 4 hot seat Josh Heipel in his own right because that guy, like, listen, we don't body shame here, but if you're someone who's maybe of Jake and Billy's age and you look at the Tennessee Volunteers head coach, and then I told you that he won a national championship in this century, you would be like, no, that's not true.

Speaker 4 Have you seen a picture of him? No, I'm talking about

Speaker 4 Oklahoma. I was talking about a joke of UCF being that.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 4 He's not looking great.

Speaker 3 No, no, I'm looking at a picture of him right now.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 He was a a star at Oklahoma in 2000.

Speaker 3 I think he needs to take more stairs. Wait, wait, wait.
I think that just when you look like Josh Huipel does right now, you're like, man, look at that guy really get up those stairs.

Speaker 3 Yeah, he's like, that guy didn't take the elevator.

Speaker 4 What do you say, Billy?

Speaker 3 He coached a national championship.

Speaker 4 No, no, he won a national championship.

Speaker 4 He played as the quarterback.

Speaker 4 Oh, my.

Speaker 4 Yes. And that was only 20 years ago, 21 years ago.
So it's not like a crazy, crazy amount of of time.

Speaker 3 It's,

Speaker 4 yeah, maybe some more stairs. He's listening though, he's one of those guys.
It's just, you know, football is his life, and he's, what are you going to do?

Speaker 3 What was Josh Hyper? Was he like the third or the fourth choice for the volunteers this offseason?

Speaker 4 No, he was, I mean, he was up there. They, because they also, I mean, they've kind of fucked themselves because they did the whole, they ran off Chiano a few years ago.

Speaker 3 They painted the rock. They were trying to get what's his name to go.

Speaker 4 I think he's going to do well. I mean, Tennessee is

Speaker 4 a tough place to restore

Speaker 4 the 90s.

Speaker 3 I love the annual tradition, though, of recent Tennessee hires saying things that really don't have anything to do with football, but giving their team reason for optimism. Yes.

Speaker 3 Do you remember Derek Dooley when he was the head coach of Tennessee?

Speaker 4 He wore the orange pants.

Speaker 3 You remember what he was really hyped about after the first week of practice? He's like, we had an extensive discussion about shower discipline and how you have to bathe yourself.

Speaker 3 And so I took out a washcloth and I showed how you have to scrub down if you want to be an elite football player. And our team really responded to that.
I love it.

Speaker 4 I love it. So, yeah, I mean, he's, listen, I'm Evolved for Life, won a national title there.
So I'm rooting for them. I want them to restore the glory.
But yeah, I don't. Stairs.

Speaker 3 Stairs is a new one. They look good on the steps.

Speaker 4 Stairs is a new one

Speaker 4 to throw out there. All right, my cool throne is Jameis Winston because he's incredible.
Yeah. He's the best quarterback in the NFL.

Speaker 3 Yeah, you think so? Yeah. I mean, the touchdown pass that he threw in the first quarter,

Speaker 4 unbelievable. I also

Speaker 4 shut up about Boohoo Taysom Hill. Yes.
Like, they were going in on how, oh, Taysom Hill didn't get a real shot.

Speaker 4 Days Mill's getting paid a lot of money to be a gimmick quarterback, and he should be happy with how much, like, he's in that sweet spot.

Speaker 4 He should never try to do too much because everyone would be like, wow, what a great weapon that he is.

Speaker 4 When he has to throw the ball 30 times, he's not a great weapon anymore.

Speaker 3 He's a fine change-of-pace guy to bring in and do the thing where he runs at linebackers. That's fun to watch.
I like watching that.

Speaker 3 But if you have Jameis Winston, future Hall of Famer, or you have Taysom Hill, who threw one pass last night, that it might have been the worst pass I've ever seen.

Speaker 3 And I'm including Tim Tebow in this conversation. The pass hit the logo at midfield.
The camera was centered on the midfield logo, and there was no New Orleans Saint

Speaker 3 on the screen. Yeah.
He missed his closest receiver by probably 35 yards.

Speaker 4 Yes, very bad.

Speaker 4 But.

Speaker 4 And I also feel bad for Trevor Lawrence because that's going to suck. Yeah, well,

Speaker 3 I want to say

Speaker 3 Billy might have been right about Trevor Lawrence.

Speaker 4 I'm going to switch the narrative on Trevor Lawrence. I think that it's the Jack.
The Jaguars will fail Trevor Lawrence, not Trevor Lawrence failing the Jaguars.

Speaker 4 Because if they don't put a team around him,

Speaker 4 I think he's going to be great if they can put a little bit of a team around him.

Speaker 3 I think Dabo Swinney failed Trevor Lawrence by not allowing him to lose enough in college to get him prepared for the NFL, right?

Speaker 4 Urban doesn't look like an NFL coach either. Yeah, I mean...
I just don't see it. Listen.

Speaker 3 I mean,

Speaker 3 you think Urban Myers

Speaker 3 is going to be able to lose 11 games in a season, 12 games in a season? Saying it.

Speaker 4 I don't know. Saying it, but saying it.

Speaker 3 You know what we're thinking.

Speaker 4 Yeah, he's

Speaker 4 going to have to eat a lot of fucking Papa John's.

Speaker 3 I'm just wondering what that contract with his family looks like this season.

Speaker 4 They're all grown, though.

Speaker 3 He probably still has a contract. He definitely has to do.
Football guy stuff.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Jake, your hot seat, cool thrown. My hot seat's the Baltimore Orioles.
Oh.

Speaker 6 So.

Speaker 4 They're bad. They're really bad.
They're in the midst of an 18-game losing streak right now. They're down 13 to 6.
So if they go to a 19-game losing streak, the record's 26.

Speaker 4 The Louisville Colonels in 1889.

Speaker 3 I don't count that. I don't count that.

Speaker 3 If it's before 1920. I don't consider it an actual.

Speaker 4 23 Phillies, 1961. Okay.
All right. Yep.

Speaker 3 That's the mark that they have to to hit that counts.

Speaker 4 Yeah, so they're really bad. In January, I put them on my hot seat because they did

Speaker 4 sabre metrics, playoff percentage chances, and they gave them 0.0% chance before the playoffs started.

Speaker 4 Turns out they were right, I guess. Yeah, but Counterpoint, Cal Ripken Jr.
Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 4 Also opened

Speaker 3 Sidney Poncon, one of the great thick pitchers of our generation.

Speaker 4 Trey Mancini, great comeback story. Yeah, there it is.
Anymachado.

Speaker 3 Billy Ripken, the fuckface card.

Speaker 4 Yeah, so

Speaker 4 the guard of the Orioles. Gal Tejada.
Yeah. Yes.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Zach Britton, if only they had played him in a game that meant a wildcard game.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Yeah.
Jake Arietta. Yeah.

Speaker 4 He sucked for them.

Speaker 3 Uh-huh. Chris Hoyles, Harold Baines.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 3 The list goes on, really, of elite Brady Ames.

Speaker 4 They will come back tonight. It's only the sixth inning.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I mean. 13-6.
You think you could put together a team of like the best, let's say the Pirates and the Orioles combined? Do you think that they could win 70 games?

Speaker 4 Well, considering the Orioles are about to be 38 and 86.

Speaker 4 Wow, that's that's pretty. That's something.
That's significant. They're approaching 50 games under 500.
Damn. That is

Speaker 4 tough. Hellacious.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Cool thrones is stress tests. So we're doing a little callback here.
I had a notification on my phone. Every time you guys say, Jake, write down a reminder,

Speaker 4 I write it down. Sometimes it's like months and months in advance.
You asked me to. That's crazy.
So this is from the May 26th episode.

Speaker 3 Can't wait. Guys, I'll fix.

Speaker 4 Write this down. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Let's say,

Speaker 4 fuck. March 12th, remind us to make fun of you for writing everything down.
That's a Saturday. So due Sunday the 13th.
Yeah, okay, perfect. Reflection Sunday.
All right, perfect. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Just write that reminder down. Blame.
Make fun of Jake.

Speaker 4 Not blame.

Speaker 4 Make fun of Sunday and March. Make fun of Jake.
Not blame. Make fun of Jake for actually writing everything we say down.
Thank you. For writing everything down.
Mm-hmm. Set.

Speaker 4 And then June 12th, apologize for making fun of you on March 13th. And remember to remember my birthday, which is tomorrow this year.

Speaker 4 Wait. Apologize.
For making fun of you on March 13th

Speaker 4 for writing everything down.

Speaker 4 13th. And happy birthday, Hank.
Yeah, but also put parentheses for both of those sarcasm.

Speaker 3 So we're not making fun of you. Don't order poppy colours.

Speaker 4 We're sarcastic. We're making fun of you.

Speaker 4 We're apologizing sarcastically and also wishing Hank a happy birthday sarcastically.

Speaker 4 We're not ordering Papadillas on your birthday. For reals.
Correct.

Speaker 3 But also, Jay.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Put sarcastically in the first one where we're making fun of you because we're doing that as a joke, too.

Speaker 4 And remind

Speaker 4 next day, put a reminder for me,

Speaker 4 Hank loves Papadillas on his birthday. Get

Speaker 4 on Selection Sunday, we're ordering Papadillas. No, on Hank's birthday in 2022.

Speaker 4 I need 28 candles, 28 Papadillas. 28 Papadias.
29? 29 Michael. What? Hank's 29? Oh my God.
You got to do it in 10 months.

Speaker 3 No, the second that you say it, that's when you turn that page.

Speaker 4 You're 30.

Speaker 4 You're now 30. Chill.
Damn. Okay, so the reason we got here.

Speaker 4 I don't care. Stretch.

Speaker 4 I won't even talk about it.

Speaker 4 No, no, you have to play it. I need to know.

Speaker 4 All right. I'll play it on two times speed because it's like three minutes long.
Oh, no, don't. Do it.
Don't do it. You know what? We'll pay to the podcast.
No, no, no, no. No.

Speaker 4 October 9th. Yeah, but this has to do with the NFL pre-show.
Yeah, yeah, no, no, no, October 9th. Remind us.
October 9th.

Speaker 4 Remind you to do the stress test? Yeah, no, remind us that you were going to tell us what to do today, but we didn't want to do it because it was too much time. All right.
All right. Wait, wait.

Speaker 4 I have a question for Kharil though, Jake. That was a very cooperative story.
How much time did you put in preparing for this segment?

Speaker 4 It took me a while to scrub up the exact minutes and it pulled up the stress test. That's for you guys to take.
October 9th is a guaranteed we're going to do it.

Speaker 3 I kind of want to hear what this is.

Speaker 4 No, we're going to do it October 9th. All right.

Speaker 3 All right. No shot.

Speaker 4 Yes. Yes.
Is it a show day? Yes, Sunday. Boom.
Done. Make that October 11th.
Tuesday. Tuesday.
Tuesday. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 4 We're in. You didn't do the stress test.
I love it. But we will do it.
Yeah. We will do it.
Wait, is that

Speaker 3 Columbus Day weekend?

Speaker 3 Oh, no. We might have to change that date.

Speaker 4 We'll have to do it during the regular season because that's when we're really not going to be able to do it. I thought it would be fun to have a stress score before the season, middle, and after.

Speaker 6 Yeah, but

Speaker 4 nah. All right.
Let's just keep pushing it off. All right.
All right.

Speaker 4 That was good. That was very constructive.
A lot of reminders we set for ourselves there.

Speaker 4 Billy.

Speaker 3 Hot seat gaba ghoul. CDC just sent out.

Speaker 4 I love Jake just writing down everything and being so attentive. It's like a hot seat, some fucking meat.

Speaker 3 Salmonella. CDC said that you have to heat up all your Italian meats to 165 degrees.
Okay. Salmonella.
So no more, you can't eat like a cold Italian sub right now. Yeah, no prosciutto.

Speaker 4 All right. That's tough.

Speaker 3 Jimmy Garoppolo might actually die.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Is this just in a certain area or everywhere? Everywhere.
Got it.

Speaker 3 Meat sauce and plants. You're supposed to like fry up your

Speaker 4 steam it, which is

Speaker 4 don't eat it. He's been doing it right the whole time.

Speaker 3 Yeah, cool thrown CJ Beathard always getting in at the end of games. He's putting up points.

Speaker 4 He's like good.

Speaker 3 Two touchdowns. Remember, last year

Speaker 3 he got in at the end of that one game that Mullins was stealing up and just put up points?

Speaker 4 That's what C.J. Bethard does.
Yeah. Cool thrown C.J.
I like him. Uh-huh.
I'm a big C.J. Bethard.

Speaker 3 C.J. Bethard's a guy that if you have a 14-point lead in the second half, you're going to win that game by seven.

Speaker 4 He's, he, I like him.

Speaker 3 I wish you could start somewhere.

Speaker 3 Let's not go too far. Yeah, no.

Speaker 4 The Jets? You want him on the Jets?

Speaker 3 No. You wouldn't have to be Mormon.

Speaker 4 All right, let's get to our interview with Ryan Fitzpatrick.

Speaker 4 Great interview. PFT, you got a quick ad before we get to it.

Speaker 8 I'm not going back to college to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber One for students.
It saves you on Uber and Uber Eats.

Speaker 8 I'm there for $0 delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 10% off smoothies, and 6% Uber credits back on rides.

Speaker 7 Just to be clear, I'm there for savings, not whatever you think college is for.

Speaker 9 Get Uber one for students. A membership to save on Uber and Uber Eats.
With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month.
Savings may vary.

Speaker 9 Eligibility and member terms apply.

Speaker 3 And now here he is, the quarterback of the Washington football team, Ryan Fitzpatrick.

Speaker 4 Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest brought to you by Coors Light. We're on Grit Week.
We are on a football field. We are outside, so if you hear a plane going overhead, that's why.

Speaker 4 It is a very, very special guest, Ryan Fitzpatrick,

Speaker 4 Fitzmagic, the man.

Speaker 4 We start every interview, Grit Week, with the same question.

Speaker 4 Can you define grit for us and what does it look like?

Speaker 6 Well, I've read Angela's book, so probably cheating a little bit, but

Speaker 6 I can define grit as a quarterback, I think.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 I'm sorry.

Speaker 6 Grit is getting through an interview with an airplane flying over there.

Speaker 4 There it is. That's perfect.

Speaker 3 I like that you're on a first-name basis with Angela, too.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I couldn't remember. Is it Duckworth? Duckworth.
Yeah, Duckworth. Yeah, that's good.
I couldn't remember her last name.

Speaker 4 I thought it was Duckworth, but you read the book. Well, I bought the book.
Yeah,

Speaker 3 she's part of the Grit Industrial Complex.

Speaker 4 Trying to monetize Grit. Yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 6 Well, I've read Angela's book, so I think I'm cheating a little bit. But for a quarterback, I feel like grit is

Speaker 6 being able to take the big hit and going on to the next play.

Speaker 6 It's the lineman looking at you and seeing some qualities that they like. You're kind of getting away from the pretty boy aspect of being a quarterback.

Speaker 6 Maybe not sliding feet first, but diving headfirst into the end zone. I think there are traits and qualities like that, especially at my position that help define grit.

Speaker 4 Okay, so quick follow-up, because I know we were going to bring this up, but are you addicted to seeking out contact?

Speaker 4 Because we have a theory on our show that you are one of the only quarterbacks out there who you will look for someone to try to truck stick them, to try to run them over.

Speaker 6 Sometimes I need that initial hit. whether it's getting hit in the pocket or seeking it out, just to kind of get into the game a little bit.
But

Speaker 6 a lot of it, like, I'm a terrible blocker.

Speaker 6 But I was just, somebody sent me a picture when Troy Palomalo was doing his Hall of Fame speech of me trying to block him when I was in Buffalo, and my ankle's twisted, and my chin strap is, you know, above my eyes.

Speaker 6 But I did the job. So I don't know.
The guys up front love it. So every now and again, I'll throw my head in there.

Speaker 3 So, yeah, more specifically, I think the theory is that you, before every game, it almost seems like you make a note of who the smallest defensive back is, and you manage to find that person during the game, and you run directly into them.

Speaker 6 Yeah, and I think the error that I made with Troy Palomalu was I just heard him speak, and he's soft-spoken. Yeah.

Speaker 6 And so I took that as maybe he would take it easy on me, but he's ferocious out there on the field.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 3 The beard looks phenomenal, by the way. And the hair, too.
I feel like your hair kind of takes or suffers like a backseat complex to the beard. Do you use the same product and styling methods on both?

Speaker 6 Yeah, so

Speaker 6 at the facility here in the showers, we have that soap, shampoo, conditioner all-in-one that's just awful. And so that's all I really put in it.

Speaker 6 So if you actually ran your fingers through it, which you can do off-camera later,

Speaker 6 you can't really get your fingers through it because it's so nasty.

Speaker 3 Is that a factor in the chin strap flying off every now and again when you get hit? Like, do you feel like if you had less of a beard, your helmet would be more secure?

Speaker 6 I do. And most of the beard just gets pushed underneath when I put my chin strap on.
But the single strap also helps with the helmet flying off. And

Speaker 6 I just feel like

Speaker 6 for safety reasons, it's better sometimes for it to fall off than for me to take the brunt of the blow. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Is this the longest an interview has ever gone with you without us without someone mentioning that you went to Harvard?

Speaker 6 We were pretty close.

Speaker 4 I was wondering.

Speaker 6 The buzzer just went off, so we missed it by four seconds.

Speaker 3 Did you go to Harvard?

Speaker 6 I did. I attended Harvard.
Okay.

Speaker 6 Boston, Massachusetts.

Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah, yeah. You went to school up north.

Speaker 4 Yeah, in Cambridge. Small school in Cambridge.
Small school in Cambridge.

Speaker 3 Is it true that you got the same education for $150,000 as I could get at the local library?

Speaker 4 Dollar and sales. Nowadays, I mean, with Wikipedia, I mean, yeah.

Speaker 6 I think Wikipedia is all you really need now.

Speaker 4 We got another plane going over. We are, this is grit week.
This is grit week.

Speaker 4 Sitting outside on a football field with a plane and a lawnmower going off so i'm just gonna filibuster here for a second this is me just filling up time is that air force one um yeah it looks like it is hey biden um welcome back all right so do you do you uh

Speaker 4 do you uh the harvard thing do you like get annoyed about it by that everyone says it all the time it's it's at this point it's like you've been in the nfl for so long it's not really remarkable anymore i know it is you know for a harvard quarterback to be in the nfl but you're an NFL player.

Speaker 4 You've been an NFL player for almost two decades now.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I think initially when I first got into the league, it was my identity. I was the Harvard guy.
And now,

Speaker 6 hopefully, there's some more stuff that I've done. I mean, beard and whatever else that people know me better by, maybe.

Speaker 6 So I actually don't really hear the Harvard thing. Yes, in interviews, but it's not like I sit and watch my game.
So I'm sure they mention it every time because I have to.

Speaker 6 But I don't really hear it much day to day anymore.

Speaker 3 You know what was a great way to kind of get rid of that was when you put on Deshaun Jackson's jacket and chain and you became swaggy.

Speaker 3 I think people were like, wow, that guy's got swag and it kind of got rid of the whole Harvard,

Speaker 3 the buzz about that.

Speaker 6 And

Speaker 6 that truly was like a spur of the moment, having fun with my teammates, but it did

Speaker 6 kind of change the narrative of my career a little bit

Speaker 6 away from, like you're saying, the Harvard grad, journeyman, whatever else, to gold chains.

Speaker 4 See, I think you should lean into it. You should be like the

Speaker 4 Mean Street posse, an old school WWE, come in with a cardigan and just look down on people and be like, why am I even here?

Speaker 3 Hang out with Zach.

Speaker 4 You should be working at a hedge fund. This is ridiculous.

Speaker 4 That would be great.

Speaker 4 Are you ready to finally say

Speaker 4 definitively what you got on the Wonderlick? No, absolutely not. 49? Never.

Speaker 6 It'll never be.

Speaker 4 48? You left one blank. You 49.
I did not

Speaker 4 blank.

Speaker 6 But again, like, that's a long time ago, and that has kind of gone away as well, which has been nice.

Speaker 4 So thank you for bringing that up. Let's bring it back up.
Let's just say it. Just say, is it 48 or 49?

Speaker 6 It was not 49. It was not 49.

Speaker 4 So it's 48.

Speaker 3 Do you remember the question that you left blank?

Speaker 6 I do not remember.

Speaker 3 Was that one where you were just like, hey, tossing it? Pouring one out for my homies who aren't in the middle of the morning.

Speaker 6 You know, if it was more a it didn't make sense to me question, didn't like any of the answers.

Speaker 4 Oh, did you go back and you did the ultimate harvard guy thing you're like hey this test is wrong like this this question's actually worded incorrectly just so you know yeah i submitted submitted the real answer to the board of of wonderlick Ernest Wunderlick didn't think that it was very funny

Speaker 4 all right the most important question I have for you

Speaker 4 Fitzmagic

Speaker 4 do you do you know when Fitzmagic is happening and we know as viewers

Speaker 4 We know as viewers, it's basically when Ryan Fitzpatrick decides he's going to start doing some crazy stuff and win a football game.

Speaker 4 And it doesn't really make sense, but it makes perfect sense because we've seen it so many times. Do you feel it? Do you know you're like, oh, I got this.
I got the Fitzmagic today.

Speaker 6 It's definitely

Speaker 6 in football, and especially in my career,

Speaker 6 there are times when I feel the momentum, when I feel things are going our way, or when I feel like I need to create some momentum.

Speaker 6 So, yes, I think it's, I mean, we could call it whatever we want, but it is, there is a very real like zone that I get into at times.

Speaker 6 Uh, and you start seeing the crazy eyes and the weird fidgeting body, and it just something takes over me, and I don't know what it is, but I guess we could call it that.

Speaker 4 It's Fitzmagic.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it is Fitzmag. What's the ultimate example of like the most Fitzmagic play that you've ever had?

Speaker 3 Because we could go with a recency bias, and we could say last year against Oakland, or against Las Vegas, excuse me, when your helmet was backwards on your head and you just uncorked like a 60-yard dime.

Speaker 3 Would that be the outstanding moment in Fitzmagic?

Speaker 6 I mean, one that came to my mind when you said that.

Speaker 6 So the beginning of 20,

Speaker 6 it's hard for me to remember the years too, but the beginning of 2018 when Jameis was suspended and I played and I wore Deshaun's guard.

Speaker 6 You know, first week we played the Saints and beat the Saints at their place, which never happens.

Speaker 6 And then the next week, first play of the game was a touchdown, 75-yard to Deshaun. I put his stuff on.

Speaker 6 The next week, we played the Steelers, and we're down 30 to 10, and it might have even been Monday night football.

Speaker 6 And we came all the way back, and I threw a touchdown on an audible double move to Mike Evans in the left corner of the end zone.

Speaker 6 That, like, that reaction probably after that throw was peak, uh, whatever we're calling it.

Speaker 4 Fitzmagic.

Speaker 4 I don't like it. Can you say the word Fitzmagic? No, well, you can fill it in.

Speaker 6 Fill in the blank.

Speaker 4 Okay, so then can we. Now, some people say this, but I don't.
But some people, because it also rhymes, Fitztragic when things go the other way. Some people say that.
Fair. Fair.

Speaker 4 That always bums me out.

Speaker 3 I always think that's part of Fitzmagic. Yeah.
Because you don't have the highs without the lows. True.

Speaker 6 Yeah, and I would just say that there's been more highs than lows recently.

Speaker 6 I get the narrative, especially years and years ago in my career, especially in Buffalo,

Speaker 6 having some games where we weren't necessarily scoring many points and losing by a lot and trying to make the Las Vegas blind throw without anybody grabbing my face mask.

Speaker 6 That's why I was able to do it. I had a lot of practice.

Speaker 6 I get that some of those moments people can hang on those, but I think it's been more positive.

Speaker 3 I actually do think that you have eyes in the back of your head.

Speaker 3 And here's why, because my first experience with Ryan Fitzpatrick was watching you when you were playing against the then Washington Redskins back in 2006, I think.

Speaker 3 And Sean Taylor was coming off the weak side and he was about to sack the hell out of you. And that's one guy that you probably would not want to get hit by going full steam.

Speaker 3 And you weren't even looking at him, but you ducked out of the way and he still sacked you. And he still got a pretty decent lick on you, but he was about to kill you.
How did you see him coming?

Speaker 6 So it was 2005.

Speaker 4 Yep. Just fact check.

Speaker 3 Thank you. I appreciate that.

Speaker 6 And yeah, the dipsy duckaroo, it's just something you learn. The more you get blindsided, the more you learn that something is coming.
But it just, it was so long ago,

Speaker 6 it's hard to remember.

Speaker 4 Well, so you've been in the NFL for a very long time.

Speaker 4 I have a feeling

Speaker 4 you're going to get this right, but can you name all the teams in order of what you played for? Like a Sean McVay when he does the here was the play from four years ago.

Speaker 6 Yeah, that one's fairly easy. Like, if you were to have me name,

Speaker 6 you know, the head coaches in order, like that one might be harder. But if you want, I mean, I was drafted by St.
Louis. I got traded to Cincinnati.
I signed with Buffalo.

Speaker 6 After four years there, I got cut for the first time in my career, signed with Tennessee, signed a two-year deal, got cut. They brought in clip.
Clipboard Jesus. Yep.
And I signed in Houston.

Speaker 6 Then I broke my leg, was traded to the Jets, re-signed with the Jets. That one took a while.

Speaker 6 Then I went to Tampa, Miami, and now we find ourselves here in Washington. Okay, you aced that.

Speaker 4 You know your own life.

Speaker 6 Well, and I will say, like, there were kids. My seven kids have been born in seven different states.
So

Speaker 6 that is one where, like, I would really get in trouble if I didn't get it right. But they're sprinkled in that story somewhere.

Speaker 3 That's a very smart way to remember. Do you have like what people do on the side of their RVs where they fill in the states? Like, here's where I've had a child born.

Speaker 4 We should do that on our bus. Planes are so loud.
Yeah, they are. They're so loud.

Speaker 3 Well, I guess that begs the question. You plan on having another kid here?

Speaker 6 You know, we'll have to bring my wife in on that one.

Speaker 6 Huddle up. It hasn't been great lately.

Speaker 4 We'll see.

Speaker 6 Yeah, we'll see how it goes. But

Speaker 6 judging off the last six months, I probably don't have much luck.

Speaker 4 How did birthday season go this year?

Speaker 4 Because one of my favorite Ryan Fitzpatrick anecdotes is that you can attribute some weight gain in the offseason to the fact that all seven of your kids, the birthdays stack up there in a few months, and you're just eating cake every other week.

Speaker 6 Yeah, and

Speaker 6 I've gotten used to it. Now it's just like a 15-pound weight vest that I'm training with in the offseason, you know.
So I go, we do the birthday season. I feel good about it.

Speaker 6 I've got the 15-pound weight vest. And then two weeks before training cam hits, it's just panic.
Just not eating and trying to shed weight. And now I feel pretty good.

Speaker 6 I've nestled in right under 230, which is a good weight for me.

Speaker 4 I like that there's just a birthday season. Like, all right, strap it on, let's go.
It's cake every day. You call it bulking season.
Yeah, okay.

Speaker 3 Yeah, if you put it that way,

Speaker 3 you can probably try to like change the stigma on it. But then, so I guess you know, you brought up like all the different cities that you played in.
You're a good quarterback.

Speaker 3 You're a very good quarterback. Is there a part of you that's like, what the hell? Like, why won't anybody ever commit to me?

Speaker 6 At this point, it's part of my story. And

Speaker 6 I, I mean, the experiences that I've had along the way, like I really

Speaker 6 yes, there are other people that have been in the same place for 15, 18, 20 years, but the people that I've met and even the impact I've had in their lives, the impact that they've had in mine, I really wouldn't change it.

Speaker 6 And even a place like Miami, where they needed a guy to step in for a year, a year and a half, just to keep the ship afloat and to kind of bring some of the these other guys along.

Speaker 6 Like I take a lot of pride, even in the success that they're going to have in the future here, I take a lot of pride in the fact that I was part of that.

Speaker 6 So I enjoyed it. I enjoyed being here, having a young team, and helping show guys the way and helping bring out the confidence in some guys that have maybe lost it.
So I really enjoyed it.

Speaker 6 It's just, my oldest is now in high school. So as we continue to travel, it continues to get a little bit more difficult, but I like...
popping from place to place.

Speaker 4 So I'm going to make you compliment yourself some more because

Speaker 4 you can't can't have the career that you've had and not be a really good teammate.

Speaker 4 Because, you know, we've met a bunch of athletes, you've met a bunch of guys who they aren't built to do different roles.

Speaker 4 Like, either they're a starter or they're not in the league because they just can't have the mentality, the team-first mentality of, all right, maybe I'm not the starter this year.

Speaker 4 So, what would you say if someone were, if we were to pull all of Ryan Fitzpatrick's teammates, which I think is like 15% of all players that ever played in the NFL,

Speaker 4 what would they say

Speaker 4 is your attribute as a teammate that makes you, you know, teams want you all the time?

Speaker 6 I mean, I think part of it for me is

Speaker 6 I care about the individuals. So

Speaker 6 it's not just a meat market out there. I mean, it's not just we're throwing a guy out there and he better perform.

Speaker 6 I care about these guys off the field too and sitting in the meal room and having the conversations and really getting to know a guy and what makes him tick and what he'll respond to.

Speaker 6 And so I think when you take the time to know somebody as an individual, to know their family, to know their story, I just think that helps.

Speaker 6 It helps the relationship that you have off the field and on the field. And that's just something that I've always done and made a point to do because I think it's important.

Speaker 4 All right.

Speaker 3 If you were to rank Ryan Fitzpatrick rivalry games, because we always love a good Fitzy rivalry game,

Speaker 3 are there teams where it's more of a rivalry game? If you're

Speaker 3 excuse me, a revenge game, if you're going up against the Titans versus the Bengals versus the Jets versus the Bills, if you were to put it, what are your top three revenge games?

Speaker 6 So at this point,

Speaker 6 and especially now being in the NFC, which was in the AFC for so long, I don't know that there are going to be many. I mean,

Speaker 6 we're playing Tampa, and I don't really view that as a rivalry game. I mean, that team is so different from when I was there.

Speaker 6 I can give you the biggest rivalry game I've had in my career, which was after I spent four years in Buffalo, signed with Tennessee, then the next year signed with Houston.

Speaker 6 When I started at Houston against the Bills, like that was

Speaker 6 like such a,

Speaker 6 it meant a lot. It was a very meaningful game for me to be playing against the Buffalo Bills.

Speaker 6 And that's probably the one in my career where I could have said, man, that was a real revenge-slash-rivalry game.

Speaker 3 So you're saying that we're idiots for always calling them revenge games and for always being like, man, Ryan's going to ball out this weekend?

Speaker 6 No, I mean, I'm telling everybody in there, I mean, we're playing the Bengals in preseason.

Speaker 4 This is a revenge game for me.

Speaker 6 I mean, I was there in 07 and 08.

Speaker 4 I need revenge.

Speaker 4 Was there ever a time, like, did you think that maybe, hey, am I a glutton for punishment because I keep ending up on AFC East teams that are not the New England Patriots?

Speaker 4 Like, you just found a way to have to play Belichick twice a year, every year.

Speaker 6 Yeah, amazing, like, absolutely amazing how that worked out.

Speaker 6 And really being with Chan Galilee on all three teams was very interesting too, that he kind of stuck around that division as well. But it was weird.
We just

Speaker 6 played them last year without Tom, but even in the preseason this year,

Speaker 6 playing them without Tom, it's just a different feeling or vibe in that stadium.

Speaker 4 Do you,

Speaker 4 now no offense to Harvard, but is there any small part of you that wishes if you could go back in time and everyone knew that Ryan Fitzpatrick was going to be this 17-year NFL guy that you could have played like at a big-time college football program?

Speaker 6 So I grew up in Arizona. Both my parents were sundevils.
I went to all the games. Jake Plummer's like one of my favorite quarterbacks of all time.

Speaker 6 And I mean, if ASU would have offered me coming out of college,

Speaker 6 I would have been a sundevil. I would have been at Arizona State.

Speaker 6 And I'm so glad that they didn't because it worked out, out and I'm happy with the path that I took. But that was my mentality mindset back then.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 You're probably the only person in America who's like, my final choices boiled down to Arizona State and Harvard.

Speaker 3 And I wanted to go to Arizona State.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 3 That would have been fun, though. You would have had fun there for sure.
That is perfect. I was reading earlier that you've never taken your wedding ring off.

Speaker 3 Would you take it off? if it meant that you could put a Super Bowl ring on instead for just one day?

Speaker 4 That's a big J question.

Speaker 6 Boy, that's hard hitting right there. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Thank you.

Speaker 6 I'll take it off right now if you want me to.

Speaker 3 First time ever?

Speaker 6 No,

Speaker 6 so

Speaker 6 the true story is actually I used to take it off. And when I was in Cincinnati, I forgot to take it off and practice one day and didn't bother me.
So I left it on ever since.

Speaker 6 So there was like a two-year period where I was taking it off, but I think my wife appreciates that I leave it on. I could always put it on the Super Bowl ring on the right hand, I guess.

Speaker 4 Yeah. That's true.

Speaker 3 That's true. We do have a bet, bet, or I guess it's just me making a bet with the gods that if you win a playoff game this year, I'm going to cut my hair.

Speaker 3 I'm going to cut it for the first time in like seven years, I think.

Speaker 3 So it's a pretty significant bet that I've got riding on your shoulders. I don't know if that adds to the pressure that you feel this season.

Speaker 6 It does.

Speaker 6 But I'll piggyback off that and I'll shave the beard.

Speaker 6 We could use the same clippers even.

Speaker 4 Do you want to cut? You want to cut my note?

Speaker 6 You cut mine and I'll cut yours.

Speaker 4 Deal.

Speaker 3 That's a deal. Wonderful.

Speaker 3 Now I'm nervous.

Speaker 4 Yeah, now I'm nervous.

Speaker 4 Stakes are high.

Speaker 3 So as far as this team goes,

Speaker 3 I've been a long-suffering Washington football team fan. It's tough for us to put together two good seasons in a row.

Speaker 3 But right now, I feel like the defense that we have in place right now might be the best in the NFL. It's certainly one of the best units that we have.

Speaker 3 And if Fitzmagic comes out this year, I actually think that the team can do really, really well. What do you think is the realistic ceiling for me?

Speaker 3 How should I calibrate my expectations as a fan for this season?

Speaker 4 Well,

Speaker 6 speaking offensively,

Speaker 6 I think the difference between last year with some of the playmakers that have been brought in,

Speaker 6 you know, in addition to Adam Humphreys and, you know, a guy that we haven't even seen a whole lot of, and Curtis Samuel, I've obviously seen him play, but he's getting back into it now.

Speaker 6 And

Speaker 6 Diami Brown and all these guys that they brought in, and there was so much homegrown talent here as it was, that on the offensive side of the ball, it's fun for me to play in this system because I'm not going up to the line and saying, oh, my God, I've got one guy to throw to.

Speaker 6 Is he going to be open on this play? I mean, we've got five, six, seven options. You know, Logan Thomas is a guy that really came on last year that I think is going to have another great year.

Speaker 6 I'm excited as a quarterback to be part of this team. Aside from how great the defense is and what they're going to do this year.
So you could take that for what it's worth and

Speaker 6 kind of weigh your options.

Speaker 3 I probably phrased that wrong. Just give me a guarantee.
How many victories?

Speaker 3 That's what I was really digging for there.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 6 No guarantees coming from me. Sorry.

Speaker 4 It's not your first time. Remember, we're in the sweet spot where people haven't mentally jumped over that hurdle of 17-game season.
So you can say 10 wins and it's not as much.

Speaker 4 Yeah. You know, 10 and 7 is not, because you think 10 wins is guaranteed playoffs.
It might not be this year.

Speaker 6 Missed the playoffs twice winning 10 games.

Speaker 4 That's brutal.

Speaker 4 Who was your first touchdown pass to? Torrey Holt. And

Speaker 4 did you keep the ball?

Speaker 6 So I threw the touchdown, kept the ball.

Speaker 6 I brought it up to him the next day in the locker room. Hey,

Speaker 6 Tori, do you mind signing this for me? And he wrote, best wishes, Tori Holt.

Speaker 6 I was like, wait a minute. No, this isn't for my mom.

Speaker 4 I was like, no, I threw you the pass.

Speaker 6 I'm not sure he knew who I was at that point, but it was a 19-yarder to Tori Holt.

Speaker 4 That's perfect.

Speaker 3 Ryan, keep working.

Speaker 4 One day you will achieve your dreams.

Speaker 4 Good luck, sport. Thank you, Tori.

Speaker 4 All right, so not to talk about another man, quarterback in the league, but

Speaker 4 how much do you think Jameis getting Lasick is going to make him a future Hall of Famer, which he already is, but we're Big Jameis guys.

Speaker 6 You're Big Jameis guy?

Speaker 4 Jameis one of one.

Speaker 4 I don't know if you've ever seen that Twitter account.

Speaker 4 He's got a book, The Media Derangement Syndrome of Jameis Winston. But yeah, he's a future Hall of Famer.
He's got like the second most passing yards at his age besides Dan Marino.

Speaker 6 So no big deal. I mean, he threw for over 5,000 and over 30 touchdowns.
Yeah, there you go.

Speaker 4 Sounds like you're Jameis one of one, too.

Speaker 6 I like Jameis. So

Speaker 4 did he get Lasic? Did he get it after you left?

Speaker 6 I am not sure. Okay.
I'm not sure.

Speaker 4 Was he squinting when you last saw him?

Speaker 6 Yes, a lot of squinting.

Speaker 4 Okay, so it was pre-LASIC.

Speaker 3 So if Jameis can see every linebacker now, hypothetically, let's say that's where he is.

Speaker 3 he actually, he's the closest person to Fitzmagic that we have in the NFL besides you, except he's just like a more concentrated version of Fitzmagic.

Speaker 3 Like the lows can be exponentially lower with Jameis, but then he can go out there and throw for like 36 touchdowns in a season, just like absolutely light the league up.

Speaker 3 Was there any sort of like a mentorship thing when you were there? I'll put it this way. Has a coach ever brought you in and said like directly to you, I'd like you to be a mentor?

Speaker 3 Or is it always like, come in and win some football games for us?

Speaker 6 No, that was definitely one I got brought in as a backup. First responsibility was if he went down to come in and perform at a high level, but the second responsibility was just to help Jameis along.

Speaker 6 And

Speaker 6 I mean, I know we're being a little funny, but

Speaker 6 he really is like... My biggest advice to Jameis was go home.

Speaker 6 Like stop spending so much time in the building because he works harder than probably anybody I've ever been around, almost to the point where it's a detriment and he needs to go home and get his mind off it and do something else.

Speaker 6 He wants it that bad. And that was really the one main piece of advice I had for him.

Speaker 4 It's not easy like coming up with new, you know, training things that no one's ever seen before where like a dog is attacking you while someone whips you with a towel. So I get why he stays so late.

Speaker 4 Like you can't just come up with that stuff if you don't work at it.

Speaker 6 Yeah, we don't do the same off-season drills.

Speaker 3 We do not. You don't do the one that has,

Speaker 3 it looks like a giant scrotum that's attacking him that he's like trying to avoid. And then he's like throwing a tennis ball against the wall and catching it with the other.

Speaker 3 They're fun to watch, though.

Speaker 6 Yeah, it's probably for your viewing pleasure. Yeah.

Speaker 4 If we, so we tried to get a Rubik's Cube before this. Yeah.
How fast can you do one right now?

Speaker 6 So I'm Rusty, and you can actually, you can get Rusty on the Cube.

Speaker 4 Really?

Speaker 6 Oh, you can get Rusty on the Cube. Yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 4 That's unfortunate. I have to say that.
My son.

Speaker 6 So really, really, what's happened, and Andy Smith was on your show.

Speaker 6 Really one of my big inspirations in my life. When I saw him beat me with one hand in less than 20 seconds on the cube, I said, I want to be that guy.
And

Speaker 6 both of my sons started doing the cube faster than me.

Speaker 6 swore it off.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying. Yeah, I mean, I'm done.
I'm done. I beat my own house.

Speaker 6 Nope, I beat you. Last time I did it, I beat you.
We're done.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you hooked us up with him. It was a great interview.

Speaker 4 And I was saying before this, but I'll say for the people.

Speaker 4 So when we were coming here to Washington to do this interview, our PR person was like, hey, if anyone knows Ryan Fitzpatrick, like, we're trying to get in touch with him.

Speaker 4 I was like, oh, I have his number because Willie Cologne, who you played with at the Jets, gave me your number. And I texted you and I asked you if you would do the interview.
And you didn't reply.

Speaker 4 You just thumbs up the message. And I've never felt like more of a beta.
I sat there for two weeks being like, are we in or not? Because not even like a sounds good or yeah, it was just a thumbs up.

Speaker 4 It was an immediate thumbs up too, like almost instantaneous and then no reply.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I mean, I didn't know you were so self-conscious.

Speaker 4 Yeah, no,

Speaker 4 it meant, it mentally messed me up.

Speaker 6 Yeah, that's on me. So just know that that means we'll see.

Speaker 3 It's good because like you can't, if you're ever in court and you have to read a transcript of your text messages back to somebody, if you're just like emphasizing a message, message, I don't think you even have to say, like, Ryan Fitzpatrick emphasized this.

Speaker 3 That's open for interpretation.

Speaker 6 I mean, I always tell my kids, under promise, over-deliver. So, the thumbs up.
What is it?

Speaker 4 You didn't promise anything.

Speaker 4 But now I'm over-delivering. I'm doing that.

Speaker 4 You're the guy.

Speaker 4 Absolutely.

Speaker 3 So, wait, what is your fastest time on a cube, though?

Speaker 6 So, I could break a minute pretty regularly,

Speaker 6 but then like my oldest son got to like 25 seconds, and it just was enough. I mean I didn't I didn't need to watch that anymore.

Speaker 4 So do you pick up a new thing like every offseason, some kind of hobby or something?

Speaker 6 So for a while I did and it was like, you know, one offseason I would I bought Rosetta Stone for some reason and thought I would learn Spanish and and then like

Speaker 4 I

Speaker 6 the guys the guys that do the yard and I live in Arizona, Spanish-speaking guys, and my wife always makes fun of me because I took a lot of Spanish and I'll go out there and I'll go to talk to them and I'll I'll just like speak English in a Spanish accent.

Speaker 4 Right.

Speaker 6 Like that's helping the conversation.

Speaker 4 Sonas failed you. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 She's like, what are you doing? You're speaking in English.

Speaker 6 But so that's been something, you know, I wanted to take the G-MAT. And so for a while,

Speaker 4 I did not.

Speaker 3 Like recreationally, you wanted to take the G-MAT?

Speaker 6 Yeah. Just stuff like that.
And that, and then I was like, I was doing my own taxes for a while. And then it just got.

Speaker 3 Dude, you're a party ass.

Speaker 4 Doesn't end up. I mean,

Speaker 4 those were in my younger days, okay? That sounds really wild.

Speaker 6 But yeah, now it's just birthday cake and just hanging out.

Speaker 4 So do you have, like, I would imagine you still have some friends that you keep in touch with from Harvard, and are they just as shocked that you're year 17 in the NFL?

Speaker 6 Yeah, I mean, and it's cool because they are now so established. in what they're doing and all the avenues that they're doing that

Speaker 6 for a while it was like, man, this guy's still doing it. And now they really, like, everybody's coming out to the games.
Like, this has got to be his last season. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Like, this has got to be the last. So that's been happening for like the last five years.
You know, so I've seen a bunch of them.

Speaker 6 But yeah, I mean, they're all, I think they're all very excited that, you know, I'm still in it. And they, you know, are always rooting for me, which is nice.

Speaker 4 What was your record against Yale? 4-0. Oh, hell yeah.

Speaker 4 You can't lose to those guys.

Speaker 4 Yeah. I love it.

Speaker 3 I got a quote here from a former teammate of yours. His name's Preston Williams.
So when he was asked to describe you, you know what I'm going to say already?

Speaker 6 No, but I mean, it's got to be funny because I can't imagine what he's going to say.

Speaker 3 He said, Ryan Fitzpatrick, that guy's piped up.

Speaker 3 What does piped up mean to you?

Speaker 4 Well,

Speaker 6 one of the meetings, which maybe you have on your mind, like whenever I bring my kids into the locker room pre-COVID,

Speaker 6 the one rule is eyes up, boys.

Speaker 4 Keep your eyes up.

Speaker 4 Smart.

Speaker 6 Yeah. So it's not that kind of piped up.

Speaker 6 I don't know. Preston's an interesting guy, but the fact that I think that's a compliment.

Speaker 4 Oh, for sure. Yeah.
Muscles probably. I don't think it's muscles.
I think piped up just means like salt spiced. You got spiced up.

Speaker 3 Okay. Like if you're cooking, I'm going to pipe up this chicken real quick, meaning you're about to put some flavor on it.
I think he's saying you got flavor.

Speaker 6 Yeah. Well, I I appreciate that P-dub.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Do you prefer piped up or the Amish rifle?

Speaker 6 So I'm I'm kind of upset that that one died. I mean, that was pretty cool.
When I was in Buffalo, that was the deal, the Amish rifle. And I mean, I really, the beard never got combed back then.

Speaker 6 And if it did, I would take the brush they would use on the ball.

Speaker 4 And I would, I mean,

Speaker 4 I don't know why.

Speaker 6 I didn't know how to take care of myself.

Speaker 4 It was early.

Speaker 6 I couldn't grow facial hair until like age 25. So that was all new to me.
But yeah, that one's gone away, unfortunately.

Speaker 3 I like it. I say we bring that one back.

Speaker 4 So we're going to Buffalo on this trip. What's your favorite wing place?

Speaker 6 Gosh, it's been a while. I mean, the big ones are,

Speaker 6 well, anchor bars, like where it originated, and Duff's is a big one.

Speaker 6 Dandelions, Barbill. Dandelions, I think, was the one I went to at the lineman all the time.

Speaker 6 Yeah, but anywhere you go, I mean, you can order wings. It doesn't matter what kind of restaurant it is.

Speaker 3 Gabriel's Gates, another Gabriel's Gate.

Speaker 4 There you go. I like that you call them Wings.

Speaker 3 We've got to remember that when we're up there, they're going to know that we're outsiders. You don't say Buffalo Wings in Buffalo.

Speaker 6 Well, and like when I first got there, I ordered Ranch, and it was like,

Speaker 4 you know, they did like a record thing. Like, wait a minute.

Speaker 4 Blue cheese. Yeah, no, no, blue cheese.

Speaker 4 Do you, do you, I mean, I don't want you to have to rank all your fan bases, but are the Bills number one just because of the fanaticism and the fact that it's not a big city and how crazy those people are?

Speaker 6 Yeah. I don't,

Speaker 6 again, like, I've loved a lot of the places that I've played. I really have, but

Speaker 6 nothing compares to the city of Buffalo.

Speaker 4 Nothing.

Speaker 6 Not even close. I love it.

Speaker 3 So, this year, your first year in Washington, obviously, we discussed earlier, you're guaranteed at least 10 wins, which I could see it happening, honestly.

Speaker 3 Is there something about Ron Rivera in the off-season process where you're deciding where you want to end up next? Was there something that made you want to come to Washington?

Speaker 3 Or was it like, okay, Washington is the best of the following, like, three teams that are offering?

Speaker 6 Yeah, so for me, normally, in

Speaker 6 as I go through like the recruiting process, it's like there's one team that'll bring me in to have a chance to play, and then there's a couple other teams where it's a backup job.

Speaker 6 So, like, I don't really have a chance or a choice. I'm going to wherever I can play.
This was a different year for me in my career, in that I had a few different options of places to go to play.

Speaker 6 And so, I got to weigh a few of those factors. And

Speaker 6 Coach Rivera, just what he did here last year, just hearing about who he is as a coach, who he was in Carolina, the respect that the players have for him, and even just the guys that have coached with him, the building that he runs.

Speaker 6 It's just a guy that was a former player that has that perspective. There are a lot of different things that were very impressive about him.
So that was a big factor in it.

Speaker 4 All right. So I had one last question.
This has been awesome. We appreciate you giving us your time.

Speaker 1 What's up, guys? It's Big Cat here making my Irish entrance with proper number 12 Irish whiskey. How do you make an Irish entrance you ask?

Speaker 1 It starts with a shot of proper number 12 Irish whiskey because real friends don't let friends Irish exit a party without a story to tell.

Speaker 1 Original proper number 12 is rich in a smooth blend of golden grain and single malt. Age four years in bourbon barrels.
Mix it up with some ginger ale for a classic and refreshing proper ginger.

Speaker 1 In the mood for something smooth but a little sweeter, try proper Irish apple, a delicious blend of proper's award-winning Irish whiskey with crisp, fresh notes of apple.

Speaker 1 So get out there and make your Irish entrance. Anything else just wouldn't be proper.

Speaker 4 I don't even remember what my last question was going to be. God damn it.

Speaker 3 I just think that you're kind of a genius. I've kind of realized over the course of this interview, by jumping around a little bit, you get to be wanted every couple offseasons.
That was the best.

Speaker 3 You get to go on recruiting trips, basically.

Speaker 3 How many free steak dinners do you think you've had?

Speaker 6 So I normally, this whole recruiting process, for me, it's normally over the phone, and I never go visit. So, I've missed out on a lot, to be honest.

Speaker 4 So, so, so, like, like, Ron Rivera's like, hey, Fitzy, we want you to be our starting quarterback, and you just thumbs up it.

Speaker 4 You're like, all right, well, that one's over the that way.

Speaker 6 If it was by text, yes, that'd be a definitely like thumbs up, but that one was over the phone.

Speaker 4 Love this. Yes, right.
No, I remember my mattress firm question: unjunkyoursleep mattress firm.com. Go check out a sleep expert.

Speaker 4 You love football, obviously. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Do you think you'll coach when you retire?

Speaker 6 I don't. I do love football.
I think I love playing football.

Speaker 6 I do love the X's and O's of football, but I also feel like after I'm done playing, whenever that is, whether it was five years ago, next year, whenever, like...

Speaker 6 I owe it to my family to at least be dad and be home all the time and then figure it out.

Speaker 4 So just a little tip: I know you've been in the league for a really long time, but a media tip from our side: you got to say, it's time for me to hang up my cleats and my jersey.

Speaker 4 I'm going to go be the quarterback of my family. Wow, that's huge.
That's what you got to say.

Speaker 4 Well,

Speaker 4 you text that to me and then

Speaker 4 be like, and then you got to throw in the, you know, usually football guys are like, or coaches will say, Yeah, I'm the coach of the team, but my wife is the coach at home.

Speaker 4 That's another one they throw out there.

Speaker 6 Anything that's going to bring tears to me or my wife or anybody watching try to throw it in.

Speaker 4 You can only basically talk about family and really sensitive and private moments in terms of football. Time for me to huddle up with the kids.

Speaker 4 Just throw a couple of raises in it. This is unbelievable.
And people are like, damn, what a great father that guy is.

Speaker 3 Have you thought about when the time does come, what that announcement is going to look like? Are you going to do like the cleats over power line? Are you going to note sap it? What's that?

Speaker 3 Are you going to be, is it going to be like a social media retirement?

Speaker 6 I may get an RV and just travel around city to city and just see. And it'll be interesting.
I'll show up to St. Louis.
I'll be speaking with that in the background and nobody watching.

Speaker 6 And then as I get further in my career, maybe there will be more people that are there to at least clap me off the stage.

Speaker 4 Beautiful. I feel like that last plane really threw in some extra gas there to be.
Yeah, that thing. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Is that Air Force One again?

Speaker 3 Yeah. It's another revenge game against the Jets.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Ryan Fitzpatrick, thank you so much. Really appreciate it.

Speaker 4 Good luck this season.

Speaker 4 I'm sorry for that.

Speaker 4 I'm sorry for that.

Speaker 10 Lucy's the obvious choice for a true nicotine pouch connoisseurs. That's why they're official nicotine pouch partner of Barstool Sports.

Speaker 10 They go up to 12 milligrams in strength and have unique shape that feels great.

Speaker 10 We all use the breakers. They're the only pouches with a hydration capsule inside.
They're a totally new kind of pouch, only available from Lucy.

Speaker 10 You pop it in your mouth, break it with your teeth, and it's instantly hydrated, releasing that nicotine faster, and it's a burst of flavor. No other pouch has that.
I promise you that.

Speaker 10 Gas station pouches get the job done, but once you've tried Lucy, you you won't want anything else in your pocket okay let's do our mount rush more

Speaker 4 we got the mount rush more of villains fictional villains fictional villains hank you decided that the uh the mount rush more so you decide the draft order

Speaker 4 let's go uh

Speaker 4 also i i think that uh jilly as a team are very close to breaking up oh really it's been trouble imperative. Billy will admit it.
He's just not letting me get my say. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Will he admit it, though?

Speaker 3 No, we went to the tape. We worked it over.
We're doing better.

Speaker 4 So you were being a bad teammate?

Speaker 3 What did the tape say? I was shooting from the hip.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you're gunsetting it. Yeah, you are.
That's the end of the year.

Speaker 3 You're in any relationship. There needs to be cohesion.

Speaker 4 I mean, you were trained. Shoot first, ask questions later.

Speaker 3 Dude, I mean, the most important part about being a SEAL is the teamwork. You're only strong as your weakest link, right? Yes.

Speaker 4 Let's go. All right, let's go with you guys first.
Jay can pick first. I'll go

Speaker 4 second or fourth.

Speaker 4 Fourth. Okay.
Oh.

Speaker 4 Wow. I don't know if that's a mistake or not.
I guess I'll find it. So go second.
No, shut up.

Speaker 4 Don't tell me what to do. Thanks.
Very spicy to that. I think I gotta live my leg.
He's 30.

Speaker 4 I think you're upset that I'm 28. Yeah, no, that you're 30.
Yes, I am.

Speaker 4 Oh, they're already shaking. They're already shaking.
This is like, for people

Speaker 4 who haven't watched the YouTube, this was Billy's truck. Subscribe.
Subscribe. Subscribe.
Subscribe. Subscribe.
Billy was just trying to throw some heat, and Jake was shaking him off like a catcher.

Speaker 4 Like, come on. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Let's not do that. I think you got to let Jake go first, right? That's the way to put this.

Speaker 4 These guys are a mess. No, we agree with this.

Speaker 3 You guys just had a film session where you sat down. It was Tell the Truth Monday yesterday.

Speaker 3 They looked at your shit, and then the first thing that happens, Billy, you need to make new habits. The very first thing that you do is you go back on everything that you've studied.

Speaker 3 You know, like anything. I'm beginning to see why you got moved to wide receiver.
We need to have some conversation behind closed doors before we come out with our decision. Players-only meeting.

Speaker 3 Right. We need to do that, and we did do that, and now we're going to shoot from the hip.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 4 The Joker. Oh,

Speaker 4 okay.

Speaker 4 We're going to

Speaker 3 specify which Joker?

Speaker 4 Heath Ledger? Novak?

Speaker 4 The Joker. I mean, does that need to be specified? No, it's probably...
I mean, we don't have to specify, but I would assume you're legendary.

Speaker 4 I feel like if you make multiple movies about him,

Speaker 4 big deal.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 4 I will go. I had it on my list.
Good pick, guys.

Speaker 4 Way to go. Team is back together.
Good job. Yeah.
We're filming. Just positive vibes everywhere.
I'll go with one of my personal favorites. I'll go with Hannibal Lecter.

Speaker 3 Okay, good pick. Yep.
Do you want to do? Are you going to do the

Speaker 4 deliver with some fava beans and a nice canty

Speaker 4 Benjamin Ratzpell

Speaker 4 Fledgeling Killers first

Speaker 4 I can't remember the fucking line it's an anagram

Speaker 4 It's an anagram very creepy you doing that during one of the corp interviews

Speaker 4 out of the blue what no Hester Moffat is the Hester Moffat. It's an anagram the rest of me

Speaker 3 Okay, all right my first one I'm gonna go with

Speaker 3 I'm gonna going to Tony Montana, Scarface.

Speaker 3 He's an antagonist. He's the main character, but he's also...

Speaker 4 Yeah, he also... He's a villain.
So the problem... I was thinking about this.
He had it on my list. It was a little lower on my list because he is like...
You root for him the majority of the movie.

Speaker 4 Then he obviously turns. But you do root for him.

Speaker 3 I would consider him to be a villain. Okay.
But in a good way. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 The other guy, what's the fucking guy's name?

Speaker 4 That he shoots in the... I haven't seen it in a while.
All right. Go ahead.
Hank. two picks.
Darth Vader. Yeah.

Speaker 4 See, I. This is why I waited till four.
And also, I'm being honest. I'm not going to pick anything I haven't watched myself.
I love Spanish.

Speaker 4 I've seen them many times. I almost wrote down Darth Vader.
I was like, dude, you haven't even actually even seen a second of that shit. And then he who shall not be named, Voldemort.

Speaker 4 Ah, another one I've never seen.

Speaker 3 I had that on my list. I also deleted it because that's a fraud pick.

Speaker 4 Not for me. Yeah, not for you.
I read the book. Oh, you're a nerd.

Speaker 4 You love

Speaker 3 Game of Thrones?

Speaker 4 I did love Game of Thrones.

Speaker 3 So speaking of Game of Thrones,

Speaker 3 I'm going to go with Joffrey.

Speaker 3 Joffrey as my number two pick. Just a real prick.
Just the biggest prick ever.

Speaker 4 Yeah, maybe one of the most hatable villains.

Speaker 3 I think maybe the most hatable. Every time he's on the screen, I wanted to poison him at his own wedding.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Okay. Spoiler.
I'll go. Fuck that show.
Second pick. My second pick.
I'll go with the shark from Jaws. Damn.

Speaker 4 Big

Speaker 4 fucking villain. I didn't have that.
I was going going to get taken away. Holy piece.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's a good pick. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Dated myself a little there. Although, Jaws is a classic.
If you haven't seen Jaws, you're a fucking loser. Yep.

Speaker 3 I think we're going to need a bigger boat.

Speaker 4 Oh, oh, and the pigs in.

Speaker 4 Dun, dun, dun, dun.

Speaker 4 Bane. Ah, so you guys are just going, oh, Batman.

Speaker 3 The penguin.

Speaker 4 So I'm Neeson. I'm glad

Speaker 4 Roger Freeze.

Speaker 4 I actually would appreciate it if you guys are like, at the end of this, we've only seen the Batman movies.

Speaker 4 Scarecrow.

Speaker 4 Oh, come on, guys. This is where they're getting in trouble.

Speaker 4 They're getting in trouble.

Speaker 3 Jason from Friday the 13th.

Speaker 4 Okay, okay. Good pick.
All right. My next pick is going to be

Speaker 4 Shooter McGavin. Shooter McGavin.
All-time villain. Great.
All-time villain. Great pick.
pick. Good pick.
Fucking hatable dude.

Speaker 4 I'm going to go Freddy Krueger.

Speaker 3 Kill you in your sleep.

Speaker 3 Every kid that watches any of the Freddy Krueger movies, they are terrified to go to sleep. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 4 Mm-hmm. Yes, I agree.
Big time.

Speaker 4 Very scary guy.

Speaker 4 Not nice guy.

Speaker 4 Not a nice man.

Speaker 3 A combination of like he's got a creepy hat, he's got a creepy face, and then he's got the shears on his hands.

Speaker 4 Yes, agreed.

Speaker 4 Hank, your pick. Plankton.

Speaker 3 Good pick, Hank.

Speaker 4 Thank you. Why are you laughing, Billy?

Speaker 4 He was also on our list. What is that? I just pretended to know.
Billy nodded me away from that one. Is that SpongeBob?

Speaker 4 That's SpongeBob, yeah. Yeah, what is Plankton? He is just hell-bent on world domination and just destroying the Krusty Crab and pretty much all bikini bottom at all times.

Speaker 3 Is that son of a bitch?

Speaker 4 Did he like mess up trying to do that?

Speaker 4 Yeah, I mean, he has to go funny way.

Speaker 4 No, no, I mean, he's like, he's like, he's really just trying to fuck shit up.

Speaker 3 No, Big Cat's right, though, because doesn't he always trip over his own plans?

Speaker 4 Dude, do we laugh?

Speaker 3 He ends up being kind of a goofball because you're like, oh, look at this. It's like

Speaker 4 in the brain, right? Dude, he's a badass.

Speaker 4 Shooter. The crap part

Speaker 4 is a big deal. Yeah.
Yeah. Okay.
He's a bad guy.

Speaker 4 I mean, I don't know. You're explaining it to me in PFT.

Speaker 6 Jim Harbo said he hated him.

Speaker 4 Oh, that's right. Remember in the interview, he was like, yeah, he was like, I love SpongeBob.
I love it. SpongeBob Harbor.
He was like Plankton. I don't like that guy.
Great call. Great call back.

Speaker 4 There you go, Bubba. But you know what? Spot Team Hub.
Bubba coming in fucking clutch.

Speaker 3 Yeah, Plankton is an energy vampire. He's like the biggest negative guy, right? Yes.

Speaker 4 Okay, your other pick? Denzel Washington in Training Day. You don't even know his name.

Speaker 4 You don't even know his name.

Speaker 4 The guy who says Jake. His name's Alonzo.
King Kong ain't got shit on me.

Speaker 3 I know you like to get wet.

Speaker 4 That's it. Those are good picks.

Speaker 3 That was going to be my last pick. Good pick.

Speaker 4 God damn it, Hank.

Speaker 3 All right, so for my my last one, I'm going to go with the iceberg in Titanic.

Speaker 3 All-time villain killed a lot of people.

Speaker 4 Wouldn't it be the pilot or the captain?

Speaker 3 Yeah. No, but the iceberg.

Speaker 4 But it was just sitting there. Yeah, but the iceberg.

Speaker 4 Did the iceberg ever dude anyone? Yeah, it's true. The iceberg.
He was just fucking hanging out.

Speaker 3 It smoked like 4,000 people.

Speaker 4 No, the captain.

Speaker 3 The captain did. No, the captain, the captain wasn't up in the crow's nest falling asleep with his dick in his hands.
That was like whatever the petty petty officer was up there with binoculars.

Speaker 3 But the captain set the course.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but I mean, listen, that's how you get from Cove Ireland to New York City.

Speaker 4 Yeah, if you take a boat through iceberg land, like maybe playing for some icebergs. Iceberg took a charge.
Right. Iceberg, the ball's going the other way.
Iceberg didn't fucking move.

Speaker 3 Iceberg had position. That's a fact.
But it still killed a lot of people.

Speaker 4 It didn't move.

Speaker 4 The Titanic went into the iceberg. Finally, I'll change it.

Speaker 4 No, no, that's an autonomous.

Speaker 4 Is the atomic bomb a villain or is the person who made it? Ooh. Oh, good point, hey.

Speaker 4 Malcolm Cladwell over here. Damn.

Speaker 4 All right, my last pick.

Speaker 4 It's tough. It's tough.
I'm going to go with

Speaker 4 the dude from No Country for Old Men.

Speaker 4 Javier Bardeye. Anton.
Yeah. Anton, I think, is his character's name.
That guy.

Speaker 4 What a fucking scary ass villain.

Speaker 3 The cattle destroyer that he's going to be.

Speaker 4 Doing in people's heads. Oh, what a fucking villain.
All-timer.

Speaker 4 Was that your last pick?

Speaker 3 No, I had it on there, but Jake didn't know who that was.

Speaker 4 Ah.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 4 We're going to go with... These guys are incredible.
We're going to go with Scar from the Lion King. Okay, good villain.
It's a good villain. Yeah.
I think everyone did well.

Speaker 4 I actually did do bad things in the Disney movie. That's not good.
The captain probably deserves a majority of the blame.

Speaker 3 At the end of the day, the iceberg killed like thousands of people.

Speaker 4 Honestly.

Speaker 4 No, it didn't. Who's the water killed?

Speaker 3 Who has the biggest death toll?

Speaker 4 That's what I'm wondering. The water.

Speaker 3 The guy who took off all the lifeboats. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Oh, that's a good point. The iceberg didn't kill the people on board.
The guy who

Speaker 4 wasn't.

Speaker 3 The designers didn't put enough lifeboats to maximize people on board. Lib of the year, Billy, says capitalism is the villain in Titanic because we're trying to maximize profits instead of safety.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 4 All the icebergs. Interesting point, Billy.
It was the water that killed the people.

Speaker 4 You don't know that. James Cameron.
Greed. Greed.
Yeah. Greed.
All right. Ones we missed.
Ones we missed. Cubris.

Speaker 4 So

Speaker 4 I can't. Joffrey was the most hatable guy, but Cersei might have been a more

Speaker 4 badass villain. Yep.
Blowing up the whole city and everything. Yeah.
Like, she was fucking cutthroat.

Speaker 4 I think Watson's face was worse. The mountain.
Almost more insufferable to watch. Who? The other bastard.
Littlefinger? No.

Speaker 4 Wow, this was your show. The dick cutter offer.
I've tried

Speaker 4 to block up. The guy who made Reek? Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Holy shit.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but you know what? He got his shit at the end when the dogs ate him alive.

Speaker 4 Holy shit. That guy was so.
Yeah, that was a good call. That was a badass.

Speaker 3 You know what I missed? Ernie McCracken, Kingpin, Bill Murray.

Speaker 3 Mr. Burns.
Mr. Burns.

Speaker 4 Mr. Burns.
Baby Dunn from Gone Girl.

Speaker 3 Yvonne Drago.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Is Patrick Bate in the middle of the moment?

Speaker 4 Ivan Drago wasn't bad. That's the same thing.
It's like the it wasn't, it was

Speaker 4 Russia that was bad. That's true.
Ramsey Bolton. Going deep.

Speaker 4 You're going deep. All right, Hank.

Speaker 3 What about that? How about Ramsey Bolton?

Speaker 4 Is the guy's name? Okay.

Speaker 3 How about racism and crash?

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Matt Dylan. Yes, that's good.
Matt Damon, whatever his name is. Mayor Humdinger, if you've seen the new Paw Patrol.

Speaker 4 Have you guys seen 24?

Speaker 6 I had Tony Almeida.

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, that was crazy.
And Nina Myers.

Speaker 4 Liam.

Speaker 4 Let's see. Gus Fring.

Speaker 3 Yep, great villain. Adversity and Rudy.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I should have fucking done

Speaker 4 It the Clown, one of the scariest movies.

Speaker 4 I don't know for Breaking Pad if it would be like Gus or Walter White. Yeah, Skylar is just so hateful.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I was about to say that. I kind of is the villain, but

Speaker 4 kind of not. I was thinking Gus Fring is the villain for a while, but you're right.
There's multiple villains. It's kind of like Game of Thrones.
There's multiple villains. Right.

Speaker 3 Walter White never went down on Skylar. Is Is he a villain? He's a villain.
Huh? Is he a villain? Walter White, he's one of those antagonists.

Speaker 4 It's like Tony Mataro. What about the battle? Where you root for him until he turns.
I feel like the wire, too. It's like the ultimate, like the good guys are bad and the bad guys are kind of good.

Speaker 4 There is no like one or the other.

Speaker 3 Tony Soprano could be a bad guy. He could be a villain, but also you find yourself rooting for him.

Speaker 4 Right, right. Livia Soprano would be my villain.
Yes.

Speaker 6 The beast in Sandlot ate all those balls, but ended up being...

Speaker 4 Yeah, that one's a beast. That's a tough one.
That's actually a perfect Jake pick.

Speaker 4 Like being like the beast, but he

Speaker 4 was a good boy at the end.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I would say, like, judging a book by its cover for the kids in San Lot, because they all thought that the beast was bad,

Speaker 3 he was misunderstood.

Speaker 4 This one, just to miss the cut for me, T-1000. T-1000, that gave me so many nightmares in Terminator.

Speaker 4 When he was able to liquefy and then become the cop that just walked really, really fast, that scared the fuck out of me. Yep.

Speaker 3 Cruel Deville, all-time villain. Like, who wants to kill 101 Dalmatians to make a coat?

Speaker 4 Captain Hook.

Speaker 4 Captain Hook, walk the planks. Lord Farquaad from Shrek.
Yeah, the short guy.

Speaker 3 Sid from Toy Story.

Speaker 4 Shrek's great. Sid from Toy Story, I've seen.

Speaker 3 The Devil from the Bible.

Speaker 4 Judas.

Speaker 3 Judas. Yep.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 I don't know if Jake has seen a PG-13 movie.

Speaker 4 Give us your scary

Speaker 4 movies of all of them. I've seen the Friday the 13th ones.
Okay.

Speaker 4 How did you do? Oh, Regina George.

Speaker 3 That's a good one.

Speaker 4 For mean girls. What?

Speaker 4 Lindsay and her crew are actually fucking with her. That's true.
That's a good point.

Speaker 4 Hank's breaking down. You've got to see both sides.
Look at both sides. You got it all.

Speaker 3 The minifine people.

Speaker 4 Damn.

Speaker 3 The kid in the giving tree. Have you guys read the giving tree? Have you read that to your kids yet, Big Cat?

Speaker 4 No, that's like a real book.

Speaker 3 No, it's a kid's book about a kid.

Speaker 4 But is it how, like, what age?

Speaker 3 I don't know, but probably like

Speaker 4 chapters. I remember somebody reading.
No, no, there's sentences. No, it's sentences.

Speaker 3 I remember somebody reading to me in like, I don't know, when I was like three or four. Okay.
But the kid's a real prick.

Speaker 4 What am I thinking of? I don't know.

Speaker 4 You're thinking Good Night Moon, maybe? No.

Speaker 3 Oh, no, you're thinking of Shel Silverstein.

Speaker 4 No, I'm thinking of the Giver Tree. The Giver.
No, I'm thinking. Yes, The Giver.

Speaker 4 That one's like middle source. That's a great book.
Yeah. Maybe the last book ever.
read. That's where I got confused.

Speaker 3 Yeah, no, the giving tree.

Speaker 4 We're clearly all very well educated.

Speaker 3 The giving tree is supposed to be a story about friendship and give and take and how this tree helps this kid along as he grows up. The tree is just honestly a toxic friend.

Speaker 3 He's a piece of shit. The kid takes everything from this tree until he cuts the tree down at the end and sits on it.

Speaker 3 It's like, thank you, tree, for being here for me when I'm an old man and I need something to sit on. No, you fucking prick.
You just killed your best friend.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's fucked up. It's like the ticket stub tree.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 I also had

Speaker 3 the Dean in any movie about college.

Speaker 4 Yep. Dean's always a warm guy.

Speaker 3 And let's see.

Speaker 4 Oh, and Ferris Bueller, what's his name? Nine Times?

Speaker 4 Oh, he's a

Speaker 4 principal. Yes.

Speaker 3 Pedophile. Yes.

Speaker 4 Yes. Principal Rooney.

Speaker 3 Yes. Disavow.

Speaker 4 Good call there, Jake.

Speaker 4 Thanks. Yeah, or the teacher in

Speaker 4 Breakfast Club. Yep.

Speaker 3 That one. The detention guy? Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
What about songs? Are there any good villains in songs?

Speaker 4 Oh, I should have done fucking Marvin Harry, too. Yeah.
That's good. Damn.
So many good villains. Although they're like funny villains.
So I don't know if you count them as evil.

Speaker 4 All right. Good Mount Rushmore.
Good bounce back Mount Rushmore off of buildings. Which it was tough when it was like the closest vote ever.
And then people were like, yeah, because it sucked.

Speaker 4 I was like, okay, well, that makes sense. Alright, right, that hurts, but it makes sense.

Speaker 3 I didn't think it was that bad.

Speaker 4 I don't think people loved it.

Speaker 3 All right. Sorry, people.

Speaker 4 Well, I just saw it was really close, and then I saw the replies on Twitter, and people were like, Yeah, it's close because you can't pick a winner when we all lose. And I was like, Ouch, that hurts.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 4 All right, you want to finish up with guys on checks? Yes, sir.

Speaker 4 Hey, Grick Gang, I'm thinking about quitting my job because it's way too stressful, and I can't stand it any longer.

Speaker 4 But there's a cornhole tournament going on to the end of the month of September. Wait.
Surprisingly, I'm making it further into the tournament than I expected, and I'm super competitive.

Speaker 4 So of course I want to win it all. Everyone in the office is also super competitive and also takes this super seriously.

Speaker 4 It's like the last year of gym class before everyone stops trying at anything the next year.

Speaker 4 Anyway, I want to win this thing and prove my alphiness, but I don't know if I can make it another month with this job. Billy, what do you call it?

Speaker 3 Billy, you're Rico. No, it's Billy.

Speaker 4 Billy, you want to quit? Is it a tournament?

Speaker 3 I thought we were just playing exhibition games.

Speaker 4 It is. This is not, I mean,

Speaker 4 I like this guy's question, but this is not an

Speaker 4 artist or question. Oh, okay.
There is no tournament yet.

Speaker 4 No one here is super competitive. You got to win this tournament and walk off being like, I quit.
Yes. As you win.
That's the way to do it.

Speaker 4 What a moment. I'm getting chills thinking about that moment.

Speaker 3 Or you just, if you get into the finals and it's against your boss, you make a bet with your boss and you're like, hey, if you beat me, I quit. If I win, you have to double my salary.

Speaker 3 Yeah, there you go. And that's really win-win for you because you want to quit anyways.

Speaker 4 Hey, big cat, PFT, Henry, best in the office, Jake, and William. My store manager got a promotion in the company, and they've been grooming me to take over as the store manager once he leaves.

Speaker 4 A colleague who currently has the same position as me and has been with the company longer is pissed that I've been training for the new position and believes that she should have been asked over me.

Speaker 4 Parentheses. She's probably not even qualified for the position she's currently in, but was hired prior to when myself and my current manager got to the company.

Speaker 4 Some of the sales associates have told me that she's been talking shit about me behind my back.

Speaker 4 My question is, when the inevitable takeover as store manager happens, how should I handle my current colleague?

Speaker 4 Fire her and establish my authority or give her a chance to fall in line even though she clearly doesn't respect me and will most likely continue to talk shit about me to my sales associates.

Speaker 4 Thanks, boys.

Speaker 3 Okay, I think you got to make her eat shit for a while. I think you give her all the bad shifts.

Speaker 4 You got to

Speaker 4 do your laundry.

Speaker 3 That's how you establish dominance. Absolutely.
Do your laundry.

Speaker 3 They have to be a yes person for you.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I actually like the idea of just being like, you tell me all the shit you've talked about me.

Speaker 4 If you don't tell me all of it, you're fired. And just let her say it.

Speaker 3 And be like, I know everything that you've said already. I just want to hear it from you.

Speaker 4 And then she'll probably quit anyway. Because she'll be so embarrassed.
Hey, buff boys, I'm in round six of interviewing for one of your competitors, but have not heard anything back in two weeks.

Speaker 4 Should I just assume it's a summer thing, or should I give up hope? Wait, one of our competitors?

Speaker 3 Who's our competitor?

Speaker 4 Probably another book of sports. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah, they probably don't care about you like we do. Not that we'd give you a job, but we care about you.

Speaker 3 I mean, the bottom line is I don't think that we'd ever treat anybody like that and just not get back to them one way or another. So I don't know who you're interviewing with, but

Speaker 3 we would at least have the courtesy to be like, sorry, we're all filled. That's how we do it.
People first people. That's the difference.

Speaker 4 Hey, Mr. 40, Coffee Cat, and Hurricane Hank.
I'm in the Navy and a very job-specific debate broke out at work yesterday.

Speaker 4 In passing conversation, one of my co-workers mentioned that he thought it's disgusting that people jack off in their bunks instead of the shower. For context, the bunks are pairs of three high beds.

Speaker 3 They might be on like a submarine or something. And it's like, you just gotta

Speaker 4 wherever you're at.

Speaker 3 For context, the wait, wait, wait, Billy was about to tell us what it's like jacking off in the bed.

Speaker 4 Billy, as he exits. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
For context, the bunks are pairs of three high beds, so six people face one direction. There are four showers that about 90 people use.

Speaker 4 Immediately, two groups are formed. Those who jerk off in their own bed where nobody else is really affected, and those assholes who use the shower.

Speaker 3 It's like West Side Story.

Speaker 4 Was hopeful you didn't make your way in. Wait, but you didn't...
So we don't know where... Is this like a sub? Is it Navy? Better sub.
It's Navy. He said Navy? Yeah.
Oh.

Speaker 4 So let's let Billy answer this one.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 4 As a service member. Better shower.

Speaker 4 This is important. People will maybe claim that you didn't serve if you answer this incorrectly.

Speaker 3 I did not serve.

Speaker 4 What?

Speaker 3 All right, Billy, but

Speaker 4 at some point, you're going.

Speaker 3 You had every intention, like, you want to trade it all to become a Navy SEAL. Right.
So let's say you're in the Navy, you pass SEAL training, and you have to make a choice.

Speaker 3 Are you jacking off in the bed or in the shower?

Speaker 3 It depends if it's a private bed or not. They just said it stacks a three.

Speaker 4 For context, the bunks are pairs of three high beds, so six people face one direction.

Speaker 3 You just abstain.

Speaker 3 There you go. The Mormonism is already sinking in.
Just nocturnal emissions You just wait on nocturnal emissions. I like it.

Speaker 4 Team to bed. Good answer, Billy.
He served. I'm Team Bed.
Yeah, Team Bed. Oh, man.

Speaker 3 Team Bed. I don't trick off, so I don't know.

Speaker 4 All right. That it?

Speaker 4 I know there's some more. Oh, okay.
Let's go. Let's do one last one.

Speaker 4 Okay, let me choose. Pick the best one.

Speaker 4 All right. One of my staff members openly told me he is applying for a new job and put me down as a reference.
He told me that I should expect a call from them.

Speaker 4 Should I hook a dude up or throw shade in the phone call so I keep him as an employee?

Speaker 3 No, hook him up.

Speaker 4 Hook him up. Hook him up.
Doesn't hurt you. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Or if he's got to find someone to replace him.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but that's the kind of shit that I actually believe when it comes to karma.

Speaker 4 Yeah, pay it forward.

Speaker 3 There's no glory in keeping somebody poor. Yeah.
Or just get him a raise. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 You know what? That's probably what he's doing right now.

Speaker 3 Or she is just trying to

Speaker 3 get you to know that they're wanted by somebody else and get that salary increase.

Speaker 4 If you want, if you, if you feel like maybe you want to leave it up to chance, maybe answer the call, answer that he's like great at everything,

Speaker 4 and then be like, but there's one thing, and then pretend that you got disconnected. And then just

Speaker 4 let the chips fall where they may.

Speaker 3 Yeah, do the one last thing.

Speaker 4 Yeah, one last thing, and then it's just gone.

Speaker 3 Or you could try to sound, this would be kind of a nice way of balancing both, sound totally incompetent while you're giving a good review of them. Be like, oh, I can't find all my files.

Speaker 3 I spilled all my beer over my work-issue computer, and then like flush a toilet in the background after you're done giving like a glowing review of this person.

Speaker 4 What's his name again?

Speaker 3 Yeah, you said all the good things about him,

Speaker 3 but then they're going to be like, I don't trust what this guy has to say. Yes, which it sounds like is probably, if you're asking this question, probably the case.

Speaker 4 Yeah, we gave you some good stuff to go with there.

Speaker 4 All right, Billy, any recap? Yep.

Speaker 3 So, you know who is ecstatic Monday night? The Jameis 101 guy?

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 He was pleased.

Speaker 4 He's got the receipts.

Speaker 3 Yeah, he chose a hill to die on.

Speaker 4 And

Speaker 4 this is dead on it. But he's not dying.
And he's stronger than ever.

Speaker 3 He's thriving. I tweeted him and said, he's probably having a drink tonight.
And he said, a nice glass of Chartreuse

Speaker 3 on the rocks. Chartreuse, yeah.
Never enough to get me drunk, Ephesians 5.18, but always enough to make me smile. Oh.
And then just a weird gif of a bishop staring in a mirror.

Speaker 4 Yeah, he's a weird dude, but I respect the fucking.

Speaker 3 Yeah, dude, he's like really going off. I mean, Jameis,

Speaker 3 he brought so much joy to me in Monday Night Flip. Yeah.
Just torching people in that first half. Yes.
Shut all the haters up.

Speaker 3 Also, maybe we should make an AWL shared calendar

Speaker 4 for everyone.

Speaker 3 Oh, for like when Jake is putting these reminders in? Yeah. So they have something to look forward to.
That's not a bad idea. Just a couple shared calendar.
Put all the dates out.

Speaker 4 That's an idea.

Speaker 3 Can you do that? Can you open it up? Organize it? Oh, great.

Speaker 4 That's definitely going to happen. But like, this is

Speaker 3 your calendar a month from now. That's exactly why he hasn't made the calendar.

Speaker 4 You're going to organize it and then put our phone numbers and emails on it

Speaker 4 and make it public.

Speaker 3 I'll just make a public calendar. You can publish it to the web, like the presentations.

Speaker 4 Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 3 And then, even though I am the same rank as John Cena is in the military,

Speaker 3 I just want everyone to know I never have actually said I'm in the military and like gotten on flights early or taking discounts. And as long as that we're all

Speaker 3 know that,

Speaker 3 you've never said it, you've just dressed up.

Speaker 3 As long as we all acknowledge that, then we can keep making.

Speaker 4 I did notice, I forgot that Billy did board the flight first. Yeah, I did not.
Yeah, you did. We watched you do that.

Speaker 3 The best part of his military getup is always the camouflage crocs. Yeah.

Speaker 4 That's really just a clean colour. They were real trees.

Speaker 4 The icing

Speaker 3 icing on the cake. It's the real tree, which is a military camo.
Yeah, in case I need to invade Syria's kiddie pools, I'm ready to go. Yes.

Speaker 4 Yeah. All right.
99. 8.
8.

Speaker 4 6.

Speaker 4 88. 18.

Speaker 6 69.

Speaker 3 No one knows how eels you reproduce.

Speaker 4 I guess start picking new numbers. 48.

Speaker 4 Trash number. 48.

Speaker 4 What a fucking trash number.

Speaker 3 Love you guys.

Speaker 4 I'm getting there

Speaker 4 when you

Speaker 4 masturbate. Think about my tongue.

Speaker 4 Oh,

Speaker 4 you're clip and switching back and forth,

Speaker 4 switching back and forth from my dick to my

Speaker 4 tongue,

Speaker 4 dick to my

Speaker 4 tongue,

Speaker 4 switching

Speaker 4 back

Speaker 4 and forth

Speaker 4 from my tick to my tongue.

Speaker 4 I'm getting there

Speaker 4 when you masturbate, think about my tongue

Speaker 4 Oh

Speaker 4 your clip and switching back and forth

Speaker 4 Switching back and forth from my dick

Speaker 4 to my

Speaker 4 tongue

Speaker 4 Dick to my tongue Dick

Speaker 4 to my

Speaker 4 tongue

Speaker 4 dick to matter, switching

Speaker 4 back

Speaker 4 and forth

Speaker 4 from magic to matter.