Ryan Whitney, NBA Playoffs, Don't Call Bryson Brooksy And Mayweather/Paul For Monday Reading

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On today's part of my take, we have one of our, actually, I think if you do the analytics,

he's the number one recurring guest, right?

In terms of appearances on this show.

I'm almost positive someone told us that.

Lenny Dykstra.

Lenny Dykstra.

No, it is Ryan Whitney, one of our favorite guests.

I mean, how can you not love it?

Even if you're not a hockey fan, he's a great listen.

Go listen to Spitting Chicklets as well.

We have Ryan Whitney.

We have a ton of sports to recap.

I counted.

There was like seven or eight different sports on Sunday alone that were just going on.

And we have the Floyd Mayweather.

Logan Paul.

Logan Paul.

I screwed that up seven times today.

Jake Paul's our guy.

Logan Paul.

Logang.

I think we're Logang.

He would trapped you. Well, guess what? Done.
I'll walk in and fucking grab that cheese every time. I'm a little fat cat.
Couldn't be me. All right, so we're going to do our Monday reading.
It's just basically going to be us live announcing that fight. So if you missed it, if you didn't buy it, if you didn't see it on a Sunday night, we have the recap for you so you don't miss any of it.
It is a packed show.

It's brought to you by our friends.

We're going to get right back to the show.

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Get a quote today.

Restrictions apply.

All right.

Back to part of my take. Okay, let's go.
Boys! Boys! Now in the street there is violence And I'm not allowed to solve the work to be done No place to hang out or wash in.

And then I can't lay all on the sun.

Oh, no.

We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue.

And then we'll take it higher.

Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue.

It's part of my take presented by Barstool Sports.

Welcome to part of my Take presented by Body Armor. Go get your strawberry banana right now on Amazon or in-store purchase.
Today is Monday, June 7th, and Blake Griffin is back. Huge back.
He was diving on the floor. He was getting the floor burn.
I'm giving the floor burn award of the week to Blake Griffin for his performance on Saturday. He out-hustled Bobby Portis.
Bobby Portis is just a hustle machine. He out-hustled him.
So, Blake Griffin is back. I'm happy for Blake.
He flipped the switch. Yeah.
And also, Blake Kepka's back, too, because Bryson DeChambeau, let's go Brooksie, is all the way up in his head. Rent free.
But if you look, well, yeah, I mean, everyone is in Brooksie's head at this point. It's an orphanage.
All the problem children of the PGA Tour and the fans are allowed to live now rent free in Brooksie's. Are we going to just call him Brooksie from now on? Okay, so I have a question.
Do we feel at all bad? No, I don't. Okay, I just want to make sure.
I want to check the temperature because I don't. But I also, I felt, I don't feel bad, but I've wondered if I should feel bad.
Well, here's the thing, Big Cat. We're bad boys, right? Yeah, we are.
We don't feel bad yet. We're the bad boys of the tour.
Bryson has fully cemented himself. His transformation now into Shooter McGavin is complete.
So he's like going to the PGA Tour. He's requesting that they handle it.
At first, on Friday, he was like, I think it's great for golf. It's funny.
No, no, no. Flattering.
He said it was flattering. I'm not mad.
In fact, I'm laughing. This whole thing is funny.
That lasted for about exactly one day and then he was like, the tour needs to step in and do something about this. Like, pretty soon he's going don't know who's the most annoying fan takashi 69 in a canoe yelling at at fucking brooks kepka when he's teeing off calling him a jackass like that's what bryson is gonna hire well i'm saying he doesn't have any friends oh got it takashi needs a paycheck got it got it so i don't know maybe a great choice yeah yeah okay or maybe just get oj simpson his garage yeah doing, his garage.
Yeah. Doing cameos for him.
Yeah. It'd be a real shame.
Dude, stop hitting us up. It'd be a real shame if Bryson got into a business arrangement with OJ Simpson and shorted him.
So I saw Brandley Chambly. He basically called us bullies.
He was like, this is a classic case of bullies. Wait, how'd you see that? Someone tagged me and then I went on to Youngstown Bob, my burner account, and I actually responded.
I was like, just chill out, dude. Like it.
When did he block you? Oh, a while ago. We've been blocked.
Branley. Blixley's Timblis is not a fan of this.
I, I feel like if, if, if we were, well, first of all, we have not told anyone to go do anything. No.
In fact, I think I absolutely know quite the opposite. We said we opposite.
We said we're not. No, I 100% did.
We're not saying that we're doing that. You said no, I said do it.
We are not saying that you should do it. But I am saying do it.
And you should do it. I am saying do it.
I'm doing satire. You should absolutely do it.
Do it. That would be such a joke.
You won't. But anyway, yeah, he called us bullies.
And I thought about it and I was like, okay, if people were saying mean things to Bryson DeChambeau, if they were harassing him, I would say, yeah, that is too far. Don't do that.
They are literally just calling him Brooksy. They're just saying, let's go Brooksy.
They're actually cheering for him. They're giving him encouragement.
They might say the wrong name, but they're giving him encouragement. I even think it's dumber than that.
They're cheering for somebody else. They think it's Brooks.
They're not talking about Bryson. They're just such diehard Brooks skeptic fans that they're saying, come on, Brooksy.
I mean, you've got guys on the PGA Tour for the last 30 years saying Baba Booey after somebody hits a shot. Get in the hole.
Mashed potatoes. What are you going to say, Hank? We did this first with Brooks.
What?

Oh, saying, yeah, you're right.

And how do you handle it? He became our best friend. Every time he tees off, someone says

the wrong name for him. What a great fucking

point, Hank.

Brandly Chambly, you better call us bullies

for bullying Brooks, too. Right.
Because we

did the exact same thing. Okay, here's

what... And when Phil...
You know what I want?

U.S. Open, call Phil Bill.
Here's what... that's just enough where people will be like did they say bill or did they say phil here's what chimbley bricksless has to say there is a cancer metastasizing in american sport yeah of people who believe that buying a ticket makes them an actor in the action yes not merely a spectator to it.
Imagine, and I think what he's going for here is he's basically lumping Trey Young getting spit on, Kyrie Irving getting stuff thrown at him, Russell Westbrook having a popcorn dumped on him, with a bunch of fucking drunk guys just saying, let's go Brooksy. Yes.
And the fact is... What a fucking pussy.
He brought it on on himself god damn it he he absolutely 100 because

this thing we no one was talking about but that video came out of somebody saying let's go brooksy

and him trying to get them thrown out and then he had the nerve the audacity to say that that brooks

was no that he was living rent-free in brooks's head yeah and then and then he gets shocked that

people actually take him up we all thought it was fake at one point on friday yeah i did too

I'm not sure. No, that he was living rent-free in Brooks' head.
Yeah, yeah. And then he gets shocked that people actually take him up.
We all thought it was fake at one point on Friday. Yeah, I did too.
I totally did because it was from a random person. It was like, wait, we should make sure that we're correct on this.
I still, in my heart of hearts, and I know that guys like Brantley Chambly are like old school. And shout out our guys at 4Play because they're new school and they know that golf should be fun and they preach that but that's really what it comes down to is like golf should be fun rivalries are fun having guys hate each other is fun being able to hate another golfer as a fan is fun like all of these things make watching golf more enjoyable and grows the game you cannot tell me otherwise running your playing your playing partner over with a golf cart for a video.
Not fun. Not fun.
Officially. Fuck, I laugh every time.
But that was a crazy month. Remember that? No, PFT, do I remember? I watched every video.
I'm glad everyone pulled back on it because someone was going to die. As you know, I like injuries and puke videos, and that was one of the best months of my life.
But don't do it. But then there was the other actual on-the-course news, which was Jon Rahm.
Yeah, oh, that was going to be my who's back. But yes, coronavirus is back.
Just when fans were back, coronavirus. Did you see? Credit to Jon Rahm, because he tried to outrun science, and not to get political here, guys, but he apparently was with someone who had coronavirus earlier in the week and then rushed to get the first vaccine being like this will work well yeah he treated it like the vax was hydroxychloroquine no he treated it like it was plan B he's like oh I'm pregnant I gotta go take a pill oh my dick it sweat this out real quick yeah this will work this will the herpes won't hit if i just take a hot bath and so it was it was really awkward when they were telling him on that green like hey guess what congratulations on obviously winning this tournament you're up by how many strokes like six strokes he was up by six joining sunday uh but you got the cocoa yeah and he just kind of broke down and then there was a lot of people being like you should find a different place to tell him that i understand why those people said that because it was, but you got the cocoa.
And he just kind of broke down, and then there was a lot of people being like, you should find a different place to tell him that. I understand why those people said that because it was weird, but also if you knew that he had coronavirus, then he's like walking into the clubhouse, and he's like high-fiving everybody.
None of it makes sense. So I don't understand why the PGA wasn't like, hey, dude, you have coronavirus.
We'll see you at 7 a.m. tomorrow.
Play 18. Put your score in, and then we'll leave.
Play on your – you have coronavirus. Tell you what.
Play with Patrick Reed. No, but he's already played with his caddy all day.
Yeah. You come out early.
No fans are out here yet. Play your 18.
We'll put in your score, and that's an easy solution. I don't know why they didn't work around it at all.
I don't know why they could have just figured out a way for him to play. I also, I mean, if you have that much at stake, if you're Jon Rahm, you probably should have just gotten the vaccine earlier because you could have had this happen.
The whole thing seemed like a mess and poorly handled. Yeah, so he obviously knew that he screwed up, which is why he went to go get the vaccine.
Right. After the fact, in fact, tried to turn back time and chase down the fact that he obviously, he knew that he had messed up.
That he should have gotten it. But yeah, I don't know if you're the PGA and that happens.
Are you going to make like a different set of rules for everybody? Yeah, I don't know why. But the guy was six strokes up.
I still don't understand why he couldn't have played at 7.30 in the morning and just been like put in his score. Does he get paid or is it just $0 disqualified? I'm not sure what happened with that.
But that was crazy. That was crazy.
All right, so that's golf. How'd Homer do? He actually did okay.
He was threatening. I think.
Vax Homer. You know, he's not getting that cocoa.
No. Hell no.
I think he did okay. Okay is a very relative thing.
Well, no, he was playing on Sunday, so he did okay. T6.
T6. T6 points.
T6. That's points.
Yeah, that is points. Wait.
I just realized we're heading for a collision course where it's going to be Bryson, excuse me, Brooksie and Brooks. No Blake.
Brooksy and Blake playing together on the Ryder Cup. Possibly, yes.
That would be amazing. And then Patrick Reed's going to dominate everybody.
Yes. Because that's what he does.
Yes. Yes.
I mean, it's good for golf. I'm excited for the U.S.
Open in two weeks. All right, let's talk some hoops.
So we did have the Nets, Bucks, game one. James Harden got hurt like 10 seconds in the game.
I was at the game. I have a couple notes that I wanted to share with you guys.
All right, so it's not a hamstring injury. What is it? No, no, not that.
I actually didn't get there in time for that. I actually think he might have gout because we stopped talking about his weight for a long time.
Fat bodies do get hamstrings. The hamstrings are, yeah.
That's just a fact.

Yeah.

So, Blake is awesome.

He also wears these huge warmers on his knees when he's sitting on the bench.

That makes him look like the bionic man, which is pretty cool.

Like the things that Jay Glazer had at his workout studio where you just put your feet into these giant things.

Kind of, yes.

And there's tubes running.

They're enormous.

Yeah.

What's going on?

It's a Pokemon card necklace. Oh, okay.
That's Logan. Jesus Christ.
The Charizard. That's Logan.
That's Logan. All right, so we're going to have that as our Monday reading, so make sure you listen to the whole show.
We have the whole fight. Got to catch them all.
All right, so Blake was awesome. Kyrie Irving, I have something really bad to tell you, Hank, but everyone on that team fucking loves him.
Well, we know Kevin Durant does. You see them snuggling.
No, they all love him. That was really – In the huddle, they all love him.
And I thought about – He got a lot of shit for the snuggle. I thought that was cute when they snuggled.
No, they love him. They love him.
He is like – Well, he said it's Brooklyn versus the world. A-1 team.
No, Brooklyn and the world versus everyone. I also think – I was thinking about it.
He tried to say that the whole world is rooting for the Nets. Then that's not everyone.
I'll get the exact quote, but he was basically implying that he feels like everyone in the world is rooting for the Nets. They love him.
They love him. He's like the number one teammate, the guy that everyone looks to.
I was thinking about it more, though, and I think it's partially I don't know what he is as a teammate, but in terms of his game, because he was so good, I think Kyrie Irving has the number one, if you could pick which game you could have, if you're any NBA player, you'd pick Kyrie Irving. Oh, it's sick, yeah.
Because his handles are incredible. He's finishing at the rim.
Remember when we went to that game, the Cavs versus Celtics in the Eastern Conference Final, and Kyrie scored like 18 straight points, and we were just sitting there in awe at the night you lost your wallet. It's nuts, where I left my wallet at the Q.
Yeah, in Cleveland. Yeah, he's just so goddamn good.
And then the other note I had was, Kevin Durant is way more bald than we realize. Yeah, and I always think that it's the angle on TV because the lights hit from directly on the top.
It's bad. You know how it's like basketball players and then anybody that's sitting on the sidelines of a football game, Football coaches always get the worst possible angle directly at the crown of their head.
And so Nick Saban, I mean, he looks bad up there now. But even 20 years ago, you're like, he's balding with Kevin.
It's worse. It's bad.
That's tough. Sorry, what were you going to say? What was the other thing you were saying? Well, with Kyrie, I love his finishing around the hoop because he always figures out a way.
He never shoots like a normal one-handed layup. He always puts spin on the ball one way or the other, and his body just becomes one with the backboard and understands which way the ball is going to bounce and exactly how much to put off.
One time I said that he's more accurate within seven feet of the hoop than I am wiping my own butt. He's so crazy good.
If there was a layup contest layup contest he would win every year yeah and he's in like if you just talk about one-on-one ability he can beat anyone because he can just take anyone off the dribble so i think that adds to like the respect factor and just like hey this guy is you know i i really do it was weird i i guess i knew it but watching it happen like people would go everyone was going up him during timeouts, talking to him. I just think they love him.
So, sorry, Hank. Do you actually think that he would win? Because I agree with you.
I think that if there was a bracket one-on-one tournament in the NBA, I think that Kyrie would probably win. Yeah, probably.
I mean, obviously with size, I don't know if... Like, Giannis is so fucking big.
Could you just back him down? Yeah, I don't know. But if you did it approximate size or position, yes.
Luka would probably... Actually, Luka might win.
He might, yeah. Luka...
I mean, you can't... They lost, but he did everything he could.
What was the Giselle? Tom can't throw in, catch the ball? Yeah, Luka. That's how it felt for Luka.
Luka can't shoot and rebound. Yeah, and do everything.
And he probably would have had, would he finish with like 12, 13 assists? I think he had double-digit assists. He would have had a lot more if his teammates were better at shooting the ball.
I also, I don't know if you saw his postgame, but he was wearing a backpack, and he looked like he was like 12 years old, so he's trying to fight back against your theory. Yeah, he heard.
He heard. Yes.
It was a ridiculous look. He would win the seniors bracket of the one-on-one tournament, for sure.
One more thing about Luka. Did you see after the game, playoff Pete went up to him and tried to do jersey swap? Yes.
And Luka was like, no, I'm good. I'm good.
It's okay. Apparently what happened was, and I kind of thought that this might be happening, because Luka, he's a big boy.
Yeah. A big man.
He's a little doughy, you might say. Thick caner medley is what I'm calling him.
He went to his locker room, and he did the jersey swap after the fact. I like that.
Away from the camera, so nobody had to see Luka take his shirt off like he was a big guy at the pool.

Well, I also like that Luka has that in his back pocket

because he is incredible.

You could make, you know, whatever you want to say,

top five, top seven NBA player right now.

He's incredible.

And he still has the summer where he gets in shape

and everyone's like, Luka lost 15 pounds of fat and gained five pounds of muscle. Watch out.
Storyline in his back pocket, which I think that's the greatest thing you can do as an athlete is start your career, be great, but be a little doughy so that you know you can always be like, well, I could just get in shape. Luka, he just looks at me like, dude, if I was in shape, I'd probably win this game seven.
Yeah, he's going to show up one offseason very vascular. Right.
You'll see a lot of veins. Right.
But then at that point, if he doesn't win, he always has in his back pocket, I'm going to put my mask back on. Right.
I've lost some of my power game losing some of that weight, and then he can get fat over the course of the season. So someone pointed out, people have been pointing out and i'm not gonna i'm not pointing it out but playoff p won a series in the staple center before lebron yeah no it's actually just a fact ah that's what it is people are when we say that we're not saying it as an indictment on no no it's just a fact that playoff l got a dub in the staples center before lebron james did no no playoff wait you call him playoff l yeah that's what his name used to be no now that's that's lebron's name now playoff l oh yeah yeah yeah uh-huh playoff p is paul paul george can lebron james win the playoffs yeah we don't think that he can as of right now in theples Center, he is playoff L.
Well, L.A. is a Clippers town.
Make no mistake about it. Right now, Big Cat, the town's going nuts for them.
Them and the Chargers. We have been decidedly chosen to be a Suns podcast in the West.
Yes. We are Blake Griffin, which is, I guess, like the vessel of the Nets.
We're rooting for Blake Griffin through the vessel of the Nets. So, in the East.
Now, I wouldn't be shocked if the Clippers, especially the way they won this series, down 2-0 and then down 3-2, they might just fuck around and go to the finals now. It would be very funny if they did.
Right. If this is the year that the Clippers put it all together.
They just needed to win one. Yeah.
I mean, they got one last year, but they needed to win one this year. But this one was different.
Yeah. Because it felt like this one was spiraling out of control.
Because they had already that baggage that people were talking about with them. They're choke artists.
This team has to be blown up. And they kind of overcame that in the first round.
So that first round victory kind of felt like it was worth two series yeah in a weird way and um the rare see the series doesn't start or end until a team wins at home yeah there's an end until a team wins at home that was the first home game win uh of the series which is very rare to watch but uh it was a great series The other one we had was the Sixers and the Hawks started.

Now, I got on the wrong side of Philly Twitter. I made the joke.
No, no. There's no right side.
You probably didn't ask the regular question, yeah. Well, no.
Maybe the most sensitive. No, I trolled.
I knew. To the credit of Philly Twitter, a lot of the Philly Twitter was like, I know what you're doing.
That's okay. When the Sixers were down like 30 in the first half and Joel Embiid was playing, I said, just wait until Joel Embiid comes back.
Then the Hawks will be in trouble. And some people were like, oh, kill yourself.
Not many, so I'm going to give it a pass. But I do have a problem with Joel Embiid.
I love Joel Embiid. When you come out with Triple H and do the DX suck it before the game, you have to win that game.
He was also jumping around a lot on that knee or back, whichever side you fall on. He was doing a lot of pregame motions.
It looked like it was a violent act. Did you watch it? I did see it.
Well, I saw the gif, and that's what's going to follow him around, is the gif of him doing the suck it, Triple H coming up behind him. You never suck another man's suck it.
The two-handed suck it, and then they were ringing the bell and all that stuff. You have to win that.
Say what you want about Philly basketball. They don't win playoff games, but they put on a great show at their home.
Okay, now kill yourself tweets. Please go directly to Hank.
It's true. They do this pre-game show.
They bring the players out like they're the fucking Harlem Globetrotters. What other stadium do you see the pre-game players humping DX? It was awesome, but you have to win it.
Who else does that? You have to win that game. I agree.
You gotta at least make sure that you're healthy before you do that. And he was.
He scored like 39, didn't he? You can't do it on like, is Joel Embiid healthy night. Yeah.
You got to do it when you know for sure that you're going to get it up. But Trae Young, I love Trae Young.
He's so good. Trae Young loves to be hated.
Yes. He's like the official thing in the NBA right now.
He has a different dance for every type of move that he puts down on the other team.

No, I don't think he's happy unless people are mad at him.

Yes.

I pose the question, maybe he's just better than everyone.

Because he's just doing this.

And I know, obviously, the Knicks were flawed.

But the Sixers are the one seed.

It is only game one.

I do expect the Sixers to come back and win game two.

And the fourth quarter defense press they had going looked like an AAU game. It looked like a high school game where the team just couldn't get the ball past half court.
I also think you'll see Ben Simmons on Trey Young for the majority of the second game, which will be a problem. I think he said his quote was like, I'm just going to be 6'10 to him.
Or it's like, I'm 6'10. He's not.
I'm going to be 6'10. It's like, that's intimidating.
The fourth quarter, if you're an Atlanta sports fan, you were not comfortable at the end of the fourth quarter. You were up at like 17 and then they cut it to 4 at the very end.
It felt like I went back and I looked at the win probability chart because we know that that's an actual statistical model that always works. But it had it at like 99.9.
Then it dipped down to about 81. But when it was at 81, it honestly felt 50-50.
That's just Atlanta sports. It should be graded on a curve for any Atlanta sports team.
But, yeah, it is actually a classic case of the game just wasn't long enough for the Sixers to win. Right, right.
They ran out of time. They didn't lose.
They just ran out of time. Either way, I think this round is going to be awesome.
I'm just excited for it. And we're going to talk some hockey with Ryan Whitney, so don't get upset, hockey fans.
We have a lot of hockey talk coming up, 30 minutes of it. Yeah.
Great series going on. We're watching hockey as well.
The fucking Habs, man. Can you believe that shit? The Habs.
Man, the Canadians. People got mad at the way that we pronounce Canadian.
I say, no, I say Canadians. Canadians.
Yeah, I say Canadians. The Habs.
Someone's like, we've got to teach you how to say it. What am I saying wrong? Canadians.
Les Abitants. Yeah, there you go.
All right, before we talk some other stuff, we're going to talk a little F1 and PLL, and then we have Who's Back coming up. The Barstool Golf Time app makes it easy for golfers to find the best tee times at the best prices.
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And I know like nice guys, like the coach, whatever. Our team sucks.
I watched the game. We suck.
I think we got to, um, we got to find a scapegoat. We got to find a fall guy.
Coach. The coach.
Dude, we had a power play where we didn't shoot. Is it, is it he who is not here? Billy football.
Billy out. Billy out.
Should we kick Billy out of the ownership group? I have no problem doing that. Yeah.
Let's take a vote. Let's take a vote.
All those who are not in favor of kicking Billy out of our lacrosse ownership group say a racial slur. Oh, Jake.
Jake had it on his lips. So we're all in favor.
He had it on his lips. I'm not an owner.
Yeah, you are. No, you are.
You're governor. There it is.
Oh. All right.
So bye. Yeah, he just said it, Jake.
What did I do? So bye. You said the O word.
Yeah, you can't say it. Four to one vote.
Billy's out. Sorry, Billy.
Good calling. All right.
Now we're going to turn it around real quick. Yeah.
All right. So.
But there wasn't week. You know, we suck.
Yeah, we suck, though. Listen, for all the Water Dog fans that are listening just for this moment, I have nothing to say but the fact that we suck.
I wish I could do a Jerry Jones press conference in the bowels of Foxborough Stadium and be like, we fucking suck. I want everyone fired, everyone out.
Is there any radio station in America that does like a lacrosse roundup? I will call it. We'll call in.
And we'll be like, yeah, we suck. Yeah, listen, we are bad.
We are so bad. I was a little confused.
They got to figure out. It was like 10 to 1.
They got to figure out how the ABA championships still count for the NBA. The Boston Canons are an institution in lacrosse, and they're talking about how today was their first win ever.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah oh yeah yeah but in a new format they need to but it's like it this have we even won again real the water dogs yeah yeah we won last year this is opening last place last year we were not we were somewhere in the middle listen paul rabel's coming on the show in a couple weeks i'm gonna ask him like dude are you doing this as are you fucking with us it wasn't you just give us all the bad players it wasn to Gunnar and Connor and Lance.
All you guys. You're trying hard.
None of that was directed towards you. Chris Hogan was doing interviews, but he's not playing.
I don't understand that. I don't think he made a team.
Right now, I think the problem with the team is from the top down. It's not about the guys on the field.
They're playing hard. Just get them on a team, Paul.
Are they playing hard? Get them on the water dogs. Shoot on a power play.
Should we get Chris Hogan? Yes. I think we should.
But it's like if you send a six-year-old to Whole Foods and you're like, go cook me a souffle, they'd come back and they'd just make paste out of their diarrhea. So it's our fault as owners.
How old?

Six-year-old.

What?

What do you mean?

A six-year-old would poop into a pan? I don't know how kids work.

I don't know.

Okay, go ahead.

Go on.

I don't know.

We can do a child development podcast as well.

But what I'm getting at, I'm trying to take ownership.

I'm trying to take responsibility for all the issues that we're having.

And it's not the players.

Don't tell the players to KYS. No, no one should.
Wait didn't say that you said that i said don't right yes no we should we should k we should kms yeah water dogs are not in last place oh we aren't atlas what lost their own one two but last year goal differential of uh minus 12 water dogs lost by six. Cool.
All right, but there is a this league moment in the PLL this week, and it was pretty ridiculous. So one of their guys got their finger bit off by another guy.
Both guys are suspended by the PLL. So the guy in the Chrome, Matt Gaudette, got his fingertip bitten off in a hotel room fight.
Hotel lobby fight by Austin Stats. So he's on the Chaos.
It was a Chaos versus Chrome. They're like the Raven Steelers, I guess, in this situation.
But it's over a beef out of last year because Gaudette was talking shit to the Chaos goalie whose name Blaze Reardon. Yeah.
We need that guy. That got caught on a hot mic during the game so it's a little spillover from the bubble year yeah and it as lacrosse fights typically typically go someone got their finger bitten off at the end of it and and the dude with his uh finger hanging off he took a video of it and it's all over the internet it's pretty fucking gnarly wait i want to watch like yeah you're gonna it's not it's not a video of the biting.
It's a video of the aftermath over the internet. It's pretty fucking gnarly.
Wait, I want to watch it. Just like, yeah, you're going to...
It's not a video of the biting.

It's a video of the aftermath of the biting

where the tip's gone.

It looks like he got circumcised.

Lacrosse.

Bite.

Finger.

Just look up Matt Gaudet.

M-A-T-T-G-A-U-D-E-T.

Finger.

Finger.

Matt Gaudet finger.

Okay, okay, okay. Hold on.
Let's see. Look at that bloody little sock.
Oh, I like it. Yeah.
I like it. It passes my test.
Yeah. That's fucking gross.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
People are definitely going to be mad that we made them Google that. I mean.
Oh, yeah. He totally got his finger bitten off.
You have to ask if this. Wait, that guy.
Is this good for lacrosse? Is this guy on our team? No, neither one of the guys. Because he looks out of shape, so I assumed he was on our team.
But is it good for lacrosse? I say yes. I'm sorry.
I'm a water dog until I die. I know how you can get interested.
What? They got me on a game. Oh, good point, Jake.
Yeah, good point, Jake. Then you'll watch.
Yeah, okay. all right.
So, Paul Rabel, if this is an experiment to see how bad you can make our team,

at least let Jake comment it, right?

Commentate.

Comment on it.

Comment on it.

A broadcast.

Play by play.

I really appreciate that opportunity, Paul.

Okay.

Okay.

Do you think it's a problem, though, because you're an owner?

Because of your past using certain words?

I will be down the middle.

Okay.

NBC neutral.

Neutral.

50-50.

Yes.

All right.

Yeah, let's get Jake on a broadcast.

Start the middle. Okay.
NBC neutral. Neutral.
50-50. Yes.
All right. Yeah, let's get Jake on a broadcast.
Start that hashtag. Get Jake on a broadcast slash PMT out.
We need to be out. Kind of contradicts each other.
Yeah, that's true. But who cares? That's the duality of life.
All right. F1.
What a race a race incredible we want to interview more f1 people in detroit on this weekend so can someone please help us out so many ricardo yeah someone tell danny ricardo i want to get to go wolf we didn't neg danny ricardo people got to be like you won't go on someone people we got to get the rumor that danny ricardo is too scared to come on PMT. Someone listening to this right now knows

someone who works on the Netflix show

or works on the Netflix show

and what would be better than

having a couple of

middle-aged podcasters

do a cameo

on the, not

actual cameo, fuck those people

a cameo on the Netflix show

interviewing

F1 superstars I don't think that Daniel Ricardo would be in Danny's like he's a little scared he's not really he's afraid that he's going to say the wrong thing kind of a pussy so then because if he says the wrong thing about another driver he'd have to back it up physically and you know that he doesn't think that he can do that so I think that's a fool's errand even trying to ask yeah alright you're probably right it was stupid for us to even try the USA-Mexico game has been way better than this fight which we got the fight coming up we have the fight coming up it was terrible but we have it coming up that's a time traveling that's a penalty big. That's a penalty.
You can't say that because when we talked during the other part... I got 100 on my referee test.
That is 100% a penalty. That should be a penalty kick and that should be us winning the CONCACAF Nations League Championship.
This is tenant right now. We usually go for it.
No, there's tenant where it's like they went for it and they failed miserably like this is this is not yeah all right let's get back on track okay all right um other things from this weekend uh college baseball i i actually watched some of it and i have to say college baseball celebrations are the best thing like in sports i don't know why i don't know why it took me so long to like into it. I'm going to give my credit to our guy, Mincy.
Did you see the Tennessee walk-off? The Tennessee walk-off was cool, but I've always been a fan of Ole Miss games where they just literally throw beer up into the air after every home run. That's the coolest celebration that you can have in sports.
It doesn't matter what game it is, what the venue is. If you just get thousands of people at the same time throwing their beer into the air, nothing can top that.
It's the coolest. It's awesome.
So we gotta go to Omaha sometime. We gotta do that.
Some summer. This week we're trying to go to F1 with Detroit.
Alright, anything else before we get to who's back? And then we have Ryan Whitney coming up. We're gonna do any Julio in the who's back oh yeah because we should talk julio our long national nightmare is over julio jones has finally been traded to the tennessee titans credit goes to adam schefter for reporting that diana rossini our friend reported it first i this we make fun of schefter for a lot of things um this was schefter was in the zone in terms of technicality.
So Schefter's favorite thing to do is basically have someone else break something, and then he's like, well, I added a technicality, so have it be broken by both of us. The exact tweet that was tweeted out was breaking.
The Falcons are expected to trade Julio Jones to the Titans in the next 24 to 48 hours. Sources tell Diana ESPN.

The teams are discussing whether the package will be a second and a fifth round pick or a second round pick with swap of other picks. Sources tell Adam Schefter.
And then a big, bold, font breaking news from Adam Schefter. I like to think that Adam Schefter created that Photoshop himself.
And I like Schefter personally. I do too like but this is shefty you have to be

embarrassed for yourself that you tried to hop on the credit train here because all you said was

they're discussing what the compensation is going to be which that happens in every trade and that's

also what she said in her initial tweet they're still hammering out the final compensation but

then here's what he added on on his initial tweet you remember when it was uh was adrian peterson

yeah and the goal of the agreement will be that he will play both years that was his extra nugget Thank you. But then here's what he added on his initial tweet.
You remember when it was Adrian Peterson?

Yeah.

And the goal of the agreement will be that he will play both years.

That was his extra nugget.

And this one is his belief.

They just gave a red card to a coach.

Nice.

Okay, go ahead.

Sorry.

Damn it.

Sorry, Hank.

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

He said, but the belief is the agreement will get done.

That was the extra nugget that he added in was we think that the trade that we just announced is going to happen is in fact going to happen. And all I'll say is just like if I were Adam Schefter, I would be very, very, I would not show my face in the Bronx because Diana's dad will beat the shit out of me.
Yep. Doug Marone went to high school with him.
Yeah. All right.
So that was, yeah. Julio, I seems like a no-brainer for the Titans.
Seems like a no-brainer for both teams. I think it's probably because the Falcons, Julio would have walked after this year, right? He could have walked.
Could have walked, probably would have walked. Yeah, he would have walked after this year if he was still on the Falcons.
Right. He might walk on the Titans.
They might try to extend him. But I think I've figured out what Mike Vrabel's strategy is here.
Because Julio, he's a little bit older. But I think I know how Mike Vrabel is building this team.
He's just trying to get the biggest dudes that he can possibly get his hands on. I think that he has the biggest starting 11, just mass-wise.
He is Billy Football as a coach. He just wants pounds.
And Julio Jones is a massive a massive dude he's still really good at wide receiver but i'm pretty sure that if you he might pick up eddie lacy to be their backup running back this year because he's just obsessed with girth yeah the um the derrick henry like julio jones cory davis aj brown like that it's just insane yeah it's insane so um the it feels like a no-brainer for the Titans. He's a freak.
It's crazy that they got him, but you still can't stop anyone on third down. Right.
So, your defense is still the thing I would be most worried about. But you should be excited if you're a Titans fan.
If I'm Will Compton, I'm just eating all summer long. Just get bigger, Will.
Yes. Just get massive.
Yes. If you show you show up in August I know you're not on the team but you can probably just show up and they'll let you in your card probably still works if you just show up and you weigh 265 pounds Raves is gonna be like that dude's a thumper yep we gotta add him on and it's like the scene it's like the office when they all got in the weight together yeah we're big way in yeah he just wants to wants to make sure that the team weighs more than like 30 000 pounds i actually bet that if will wanted to he could just get someone who's really good at photoshop to just make pictures of him look 30 pounds heavier yeah and mike that'll be good enough for mike to bring you back yes absolutely all right uh anything else let's do let's get to who's back let's get to who's back Who's back is brought to you by our friends at Cash App.
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Okay, Hank, who's back? My first who's back, I got a couple, is Hezbollah. We haven't really talked about him on the show.

Oh, the little dude?

Yes.

Yeah.

I feel like it's something that's been talked about.

I thought you were saying Hezbollah.

Yeah, it kind of sounded like you were saying Hezbollah.

I don't know what that means.

Yeah.

Okay.

No, we don't.

We know you don't.

Go ahead.

Oh, he's the talk of the town.

Everyone's talking about fights.

They want Logan versus Mayweather, but everyone wants this kid fighting.

He's kind of like the king of promotion. He's 18.
He's 18. Is it Andy Milonakis thing? Yeah, but like 10 times.
He looks like he's, what, a year and a half, two years old? Yeah. Well, that was how it started, was that video of him punching the guy in the face.
I was like, oh, it's a little baby. Turns out he's like an 18-year-old.
Got it. And so who are they having him fight? Another TikTok kid with a similar condition who's from a different country.
I don't want to say off the top of my head because I don't know for sure. That's awesome.
Turkey or something. I think it's probably one of the stands.
He's so funny. Yeah, he's very funny.
He's got so much swag. Yeah, but I figured we should, you know, talk about him.
It's something I see people talk about all the the time so i just wanted to bring him into the show uh my other who's back is magic oh that's all my who's back all right you do it you do mad johnson yeah what yeah what do you coronavirus got taken too do you possess no no no but i just i i had two who's backs at a backup go ahead you do it i have no no no no i got zero that's it no i actually only had won because it's who's back. I had a backup.
Go ahead. You do it.
I have no who's backs.

No, no, no, no.

I have zero who's backs.

That's it.

No, I actually only had one because it's who's back.

I don't want to be a tryhard.

There we go.

Thank you.

Wow.

Go ahead.

Go ahead, P.

Hank, you always have more than one.

No.

I usually just have one.

Who's back, right?

My who's back of the week is Simone Biles.

I got Simone Biles coming back.

She participated in some sort of gymnastics event tonight,

and all I know about it was she started her routine off

with two separate moves that are both called the Biles,

I'm sorry. coming back.
She participated in some sort of gymnastics event tonight, and all I know about it was she started her routine off with two separate moves

that are both called the Biles

that no one else

can even do. They're like the hardest

moves ever invented. But it's Bile.

But Simone Biles. Yeah, I know.

But they're called the Biles?

Well, she has two different Bile moves. Right.

The Bile 1, the Bile 2. Got it.

And so she was...

Is she the GOAT?

I don't know.

Nadia Comaneci?

She's probably...

Nadia Comaneci is pretty good.

Gabby Douglas?

Gabby Douglas.

Wait, is that her?

Wait, hold on.

Carrie Strug?

Mikayla Maroney?

Who was the one who hurt her ankle?

Carrie Strug, yeah.

No, is that...

Pretty much broke her ankle.

No, was that Carrie Strug?

Yeah.

Yeah, I think so. I like Nadia Comaneci.
Nicole Kidman, she was great. I just like saying Nadia Comaneci's name.
But how badass is it that you have two moves that are named after you? Yes. But this is where we run into problem as gymnastics fans, as we are, which is we don't know what we're watching when we watch it.
Right. It'd be sick if they just had an event where the judges were just normal people that had never seen gymnastics before and so they just judge things off how badass they look yes because really that's what the sport should be about wow that's cool that's all you that's all you need cool point then you win yeah um hank what was the magic tweet you were gonna read the political one yeah it was so good he's do you want to read it yeah i don't i honestly don't think i for a minute there i thought that magic maybe is self-aware but then i read his whole timeline and he was doing a breakdown of all the playoffs and in the middle of it he said uh lakers gm rob polinka has a lot to work a lot of work to do this summer because a lot of lakers did not perform well during the series against the phoenix suns that's actually like the most boring recap of of the series that you could potentially do.
Let me ask you this. If you're LeBron James, do you think that maybe he could be talking about you? I don't know.
Maybe. I think if you're LeBron James, you think that.
But he, Magic's tweets, like he really is putting effort. Didn't we hear someone told us that he doesn't tweet?

He texts his tweets to someone else.

Yeah, Rob Lowe.

Yeah, Rob Lowe said that, which actually now makes so much sense.

The whole thing makes perfect sense that they do read his text messages.

Someone's like, hey, Magic, what do you think about what?

I think if you read Magic tweets, there's a prompt that we're missing. Like someone texted magic and was like,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey,

Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, like hey magic what do you think about like what there's i think if you read magic tweet tweets there's a prompt that we're missing like someone texted magic and was like his his tweeter said hey magic like what do you think about rob palinka like what does he have to do does he have a lot to do and he's like lakers gm rob palinka has a lot of work to do this summer because a lot of lakers did not perform well during the series against the Phoenix Suns. That's kind of fascinating because you could –

the person is treating it like it's a post-game press conference.

Right.

And it's their job to reach out to Magic.

Magic still feels like he's getting interviewed.

Right.

What if it was somebody on the Lakers that was actually transcribing these

and using his voice to send subtle behind-the-back subterfuge messages. I just wonder if there's if you have this set up where you text someone and say, hey, can you tweet this for me? There probably is a follow up text being like, hey, how'd that one do? And does the person like, yo, it's popping like people love this Rob Palenka stuff.
That's a hot, hot take by you magic. Yeah.
Or do you think he tells them the truth? Like you sound like a robot and everyone's mocking you well i think it's it's a person so it's got to be someone with an agenda yeah yeah so i mean they're probably getting paid way too much money to just be magic i will magic if you're listening to this i will do the job for free for the love of the game for the love of the game i will tweet anything that you text me and i will i will always be on call i think that we could probably just create magic johnson's voice replicate it pretty easily i've never done the um the only time i've ever switched my handle and tried to like do people was i did it with magic johnson and i changed my twitter profile and i tweeted something and it got like it was the only time i could ever get everyone yeah because. Because he is a parody of himself.
So if you do it, it's believable. If you make the most boring tweet possible, people would believe that's from Magic Johnson.
How much do you think his ghost tweeter gets paid? Again, I'll do it for free. Yeah.
For free. We'll save you a lot of money.
Yeah. For free.
For free. Jake.
All right. Before we get to Ryan Whitney, do you have a who's back for us? I do.
It's scorigami, but a different type. If you say for lacrosse, I'm going to punch you in the nose.
All right, cool. Baseball, but not a final score.
So Jordan Montgomery of the Yankees earlier this week, he had a unique box score for his pitching line. Six and a third inning, five hits, three runs, one and a run, two walks, six Ks.
1.1 million uh box scores for pitchers that's never happened before say it again it's pretty normal numbers six and a third innings pitched five hits three runs one earned run two walks six k's never happened it's gotta be the three runs one earned or it's gotta be three runs one earned yeah it starts to get it but that's gotta narrow it down right yeah because if you be the three runs, one earned. It's got to be three runs, one earned.
Yeah. It starts to get it.
But that's got to narrow it down, right? Yeah. Because if you give up three runs to only have one of them earned, wow.
Trevor Bauer had a scorigami pitching line today, too. He was the only person to ever strike out a guy with one eye close.
He struck out Acuna. So that's the most Trevor Bauer stat ever.
What did he tell everyone after? Jacob? Jacob deGrom also is like the greatest pitcher of all time. It's pretty fucking ridiculous.
Yeah. I know that's not actually true, but 2021 through nine starts, 58 innings pitched.
He's got a .62 ERA. He's pitched 58 innings.
He's given up only 25 hits. That's fucking ridiculous.
93 Ks. How many hits does he have as a player? I don't know, but that's a...
If he out hit himself... I think he has as many RBIs as Irm runs.
He probably does. 93 Ks on 58 innings pitched and only 25 hits.
Jesus Christ. All right, let's get to our interview with Ryan Whitney.

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Go ahead. Yeah, no, I can't believe that there's a league where the superstars all lose in the first round.
That sucks. Oh, you think that's why I'm calling it a sick league, PFT, you piece of shit? The best player in the world is walking off the court with 15 minutes left in the game like an asshole, and nobody says a word to him him and then he talks about his fucking cartoon movie after the game imagine being on that team you just lost after being champions here for talking about the monsters credit to me god goon squad yeah credit to me for getting that clip i i was like old times i waited up till 3 a.m to watch that press conference because i knew i knew he'd say something stupid and he didn't disappoint hey you tweeted it too you go I think I gotta wait wait up for the press conference but he's gonna do treatment for four hours yeah I was seriously I was laying in bed with my headphones in and I'm sitting there watching LeBron James give a press conference at 3 a.m.
being like come on say something dumb and then right at the end, yeah, I think I'm going to get ready for the goon squad. All right, so I just want to preface something real quick because people are like, holy shit, Witt is shot out of a cannon.
Ryan Whitney right now is in the midst of, like, a live stream war, and he's playoff hockey. His brain, I don't think, knows how, like, the real world is working.
He's just, it's used to just screaming at at the top of his lungs like, fuck you, like, fuck you, Frankie. Oh, P.S.T.
took a shot at hockey. P.S.T.
took a shot at hockey. Yeah, but you are.
Would you say it's fair, though, to say you're in war mode right now? No, I think R.A. and Grinelli are in a little bit more of war mode.
I love fucking with Frankie Borelli, and the whole stream was awesome. I was actually happy he got a win because it was probably the best night of his life.
But I do enjoy being able to scream during live streams and everything like that. Yeah, it's been incredible.
So are you guys – you're staying in Boston right now, next stream is in Boston, or are you guys going back to Borelli's? No, so wherever the game is, which Game 5 will be in Boston, the stream's in the opposite city. So all these guys are headed back to Long Island for Game 5, live stream from Borelli's.
I can't make it, but I'll be here for Game 6 when they're back in Long Island and we'll do one in Boston. So Hurricanes was bumping.
The place was going bananas. R.A., they were chanting, all right, all right.
If you know Chicklets, R.A. getting his name chanted, going bananas, slamming a chair on the ground like he was a WWF wrestler.
It was an amazing scene. Yeah, and he did the Frankie.
You got to watch the clip. We'll post it.
Frankie's saying fuck you to everyone. It was seriously like Scarface, who's the bad guy, and R.A.
just doing the old Italian, like, you know, hey, the chin move. So I like that.
That was old school. All right, so this series, let's talk about this series first.
It's crazy because it feels like it's very even, but didn't everyone predict that the Bruins would handle the Islanders somewhat easily? I picked the Bruins in seven, and I think most people – all right, what do you have? I have Bruins in seven. A lot of people thought – I think everyone figured that the Islanders are never going to be an easy out because they're so difficult to play against and they clog up their neutral zone.
It's like the Devils. Lou Lamorello was the GMO.
All those Devils teams, pretty similar. And I think the Bruins are the better team.
And I think if you look at all four games, overall the Bruins have played better. But the Islanders have gotten good goaltending from Varlamov.
He's been really good the last two games. They get timely scoring, and they just end up frustrating you and getting that goal late in the third by Barzell.
I'm not surprised it's tied after two. I think it'll still go seven.
They'll probably split the next two. I hope so, because Game 7 is kind of what we live for, boys.
You know that. Not the NBA.
NBA is fucking 140 to 105 in Game 7 game seven yeah i saw r.a tweeted like hell these games game seven just becomes a three-point contest yeah probably he's right the whole fucking league's a three-point the whole league's a three-point contest lucas awesome shut up wait the the um the pasta miss that oh my god how long is that sticking his head because that's's got to be like, you've got to wake up like two months from now being like, I cannot believe. That goal is never open.
I thought that was, I was at the Nets game last night and I was catching up. I thought he missed like an actual like goalie pulled open net.
That's how open it was. I know.
It was a sick pass. And so right when it happened, I'll take you through the sequence of events fight I'm next to Feidelberg and we're like no no that didn't just happen like one of the best players in the world that shows how crazy the game can be so then Frankie says to me right away he's like how long would that like stick with you and rattle you I'm like well me I'd never score again but someone like pasta he's gonna come down the next shift and not really think about it but fair in all fairness he then said i don't know man missing that that could change this whole series that could be one of those plays and sure as shit they went on to lose and cassidy was asked about it after the head coach of the bruins and he mentioned like yeah you hate seeing something like that you wonder if things are going against you something to that nature and then Frankie got a text from Matt Molson who played in the NHL for a long time couple 30 goal years he goes if I missed that I wouldn't sleep for a week yeah I mean right after he missed it he just fell straight face forward on the ice like his soul left his body for a little bit so you don't you don't just move on from that what was the worst miss you ever had uh I had a um in Pittsburgh.
I was having the best year of my career. And then in the middle of the season, for some reason, Warriors, like Warrior makes sticks.
They're like, hey, try this stick. We'll give you some money.
I'm like, all right. So I was having a good year.
No reason to switch up sticks. That game, I got the new Warrior stick.
They gave me a sick, legit tap-in, exactly like exactly like posh knock and i one-timed it right through the crease where he one-timed it back and hit the post mine missed the neck completely i threw the stick into the bench and grabbed my old one there you go it was a because it's it's it's it's it's the arrow not the indian you know it's you can't blame yourself right yeah oh man um yeah so uh i want to steer to different area real quick because you've got the Pink Whitney behind you, and I don't think I've ever asked you about the Pink Whitney. You were probably the world's most successful former hockey defenseman turned liquor salesman.
Yeah, thank you. How did you invent combining pink lemonade with vodka? So I used to drink pink lemonade all the time growing up.
I'd go to the to the movies. I'd get like the extra, extra large where there's 5,000 calories in the pink lemonade.
And then what do you know? When I learned about drinking and vodka, I just chucked vodka in my favorite drink, pink lemonade. Now, granted, that was like, I don't know, 99, maybe 2000.
I don't even think Tito's was around yet, and now it's all Pink Whitney, baby. So in the end, I kept drinking and drinking and drinking, and especially playing golf.
People loved it. Great summer drink.
And then, boom, now it's taken off. Look at that.
What a story. Pretty simple.
That's pretty much, I mean, like Steve Jobs, Ryan Whitney. How did you invent the computer? How'd you invent pink lemonade with vodka?

Same thing.

I programmed my brain to know to put vodka in my favorite drink,

and you programmed the computer.

You combine your two favorite things,

and they happen to work and be delicious together.

I do like Pink Whitney. I feel like every time you come to the office here,

we get bullied into taking shots of your Pink Whitney,

so I'm curious to know, every time I take a nip, I drink a nip of your pink whitney how much money is going directly into your pocket probably like two cents yeah it's still pretty good the one night the one night you did 10 so that's that's 20 cents i'll take it just under a quarter you were forcing me to so i knew that you were getting a cut on the tail end of it yeah exactly but i i will say this nothing has worked like pink whitney in terms of getting goals whenever we're on these streams or we need goals we do shots of pink whitney next thing you know is the overs hitting i love that it's really wild yeah i mean that's you have to have something you have to have like gold juice to get yourself going um all right let's talk about some other series the canadians they they are the team that no one expected like they're not even good and they're now up 3-1 in the third game to go up 3-0 against the jets they beat the least which we we knew the least would would choke but what the hell's going on with them are they just are they getting hot the right time are you waiting for them to like turn back into a pumpkin I thought for sure Winnipeg would at least win game three they got nothing going it's pathetic I I think Montreal isn't good they have an amazing goalie who's like hitting his stride at the right time which is kind of like what the Canadians do Patrick was rookie year took him to the cup you know Ken Dryden took him to the cup as a rookie it's like they they get goaltenders that get caught, and then the magic of the Canadiens' jersey, they end up winning games and winning series. They'll probably win this series in looking like they're going to go up 3-0.
They will get pounded by Vegas or the Avalanche. That's already the matchup where Boston Islanders are going to play the winner, Tampa Carolina.
So the Canadiens will get into the probably final four and then just get shit pounded. Okay.
So you brought up the goalies that are getting hot at the right time. What's the difference? Where's the line between a goalie that's hot and a goalie that's standing on his head? That's a tough line.
That's a tough line to draw. I don't know.
I think it's the same thing, personally. If you were to ask me, I think a guy's standing on his head and he's just really hot to be standing on his head, if that makes sense.
You've got to get hot before you can stand on your head. I feel like standing on your head is in the game.
Hot is something that happens in a series. Yeah, I agree.
You know what I mean? Okay, okay. So he can be hot the whole series, but just one of the games he's got on his head.
One game specifically where you know a goalie's standing on his head when he just makes like four or five saves, you're like, how the fuck did he do that? And it's like nothing's going in tonight. And then that can be a bigger, that can be a smaller part of a bigger hot streak.
Yeah, because then when you lose to the team, you're like, oh, we lost to a hot goalie. Right.
But you can't be like, we lost to a standing on his head goalie. That's too much worse.
Game two, he stood on his head. Yeah, exactly.
Game three, he was just good. Okay, that's interesting.
And then once you get to game seven, man, he was hot all series. Yeah, he was.
Right, exactly. And my bet of the year is game one, Colorado Vegas winner over Montreal.
It'll be the first time Montreal's played in front of fans. There'll be 18,000 whatever building wins that series in Colorado, and they are going to, like I said, curb stomp the Canadians.
Is it going to be like minus like 250? Yeah, you take them in regulation big cat. That's the new play.
Minus one and a half. Yeah, take them in the back line.
Minus two and a half. Minus 200 money line in regulations like minus 110.
I love it. And then what do you do? What do you do? If they end up going OT, you just live bet your team in overtime.
It's a win-win. There you go.
Or a double loss. Yeah.
Yeah, probably not, though. That sounds like, yeah, just keep live betting.
It sounds like you've got a system. 1-800-GAMBLER if you have a problem.
Just chase your bet with more money. I like the idea of betting against a team that hasn't played against fans yet.
What actual impact does that have, do you think, for a team playing against a southern team now, coming down from Canada? They have to go to Colorado maybe or Vegas? Did you hear that, by the way? I listened to that, boys. Did you hear that? Oh, man.
I am the other Chicklets guy that does not consider the abs a Southern market. Southern team.
He slept the entire show. Well, he had also done four live streams.
Yeah, right. Yeah, he listed all his stuff.
I mean, you're the same way because you just just play golf all day but he listed all the things he did and we're like that sounds like a regular job he's like i've done four live streams and two interviews in six days it was one it was one it was one we uh we had what was called a work week yeah yeah those will kill you yeah no i i was watching that and all of a hear, yeah, you know, you got the southern markets of Colorado. I was like, pardon? What? It's the Panthers, the Lightning, the Coyotes, the Kings, and the Avalanche.
If you're called the Avalanche, if you're called the Avalanche, it's just a fucking snowstorm. That's a good point.
That's a good point. We should have just done that.
I don't know how you guys didn't say that. Yeah.
I mean, that was like the fifth most glaringly obviously wrong thing about what he was saying. But yes, you're right.
But now that you've said it, I think we have to consider the Avs to be, like as far as this postseason goes. Yeah, they're Southern.
They're Southern market. They're more Southern than the Canadian teams.
So if you're playing a hot team like the Avalanche in a Southern market, in a stadium, in front of fans for the first time all season. Like what impact does, does like opposing fans have cheering against you? What effect does that have mentally? I don't know about mentally because I actually think that a lot of these guys would be pretty fired up because yes, the fans are all going against you, but you still have like a vibe in the crowd in terms of noise and the atmosphere, but it's more about like getting the puck in your own zone and they're cycling offensively and you're chasing around and then the crowd gets going and then the momentum of the game at least the first period i think will be you know having the ice tilted severely south where where they're shooting right so because i think the crowd will be so into what's going on and then the canadian team the canadians it looks like will just be like whoa we haven't dealt with this yet they'll probably be able to figure it out and in the end it could help them having the atmosphere but it'll still be awkward at the beginning so is that is that actually made a difference on the ice this season like is it easier uh to communicate when you don't have fans yelling are there going to be instances where they might not be able to hear things that they normally hear because they're going to be fans cheering for the first time yeah probably and and all these teams you know in america we're dealing with some some people had crowds some didn't but canada's had no one and i think the canadians actually have allowed like 2 000 people in i guess quebec's doing a little better or something i don't know what's going on up north but i i think that in terms of like talking to each other on the ice it's been one thing all year for the can market teams, and now it's just going to be way different.
Whether it's on the bench talking or on the ice, it's going to be so loud that they're going to have a little bit of an issue at the beginning to figure it all out. What did you make of the Jake Evans hit? I know that we didn't have you on after Tom Wilson.
You took Tom Wilson's side. Thank you for your service.
I wouldn't necessarily say i took his side uh i'm more was going against and it was very similar with the shifley hit on jake evans i'm more going against the new culture in hockey where if somebody's injured it's like a 10 game suspension they need to be kicked out of the league and everyone goes bananas everything doesn't seem as bad as i think twitter makes it seem with hockey it's like the hockey Twitter crowd all the reporters get together and every single hit is like the biggest issue in the world whereas I'm looking at Mark Shifley's hit there as he stopped skating at the hash mark so he had skated the entire length of the ice right so I was okay with a charge and I said I was okay with a one or two game suspension but in the end he hit him with his feet on the ground. He put his shoulder through his chest.
The guy was bent over. So his face is down there.
He took the brunt of it. And the player who got hit and being Evans, he didn't open.
He didn't lift up his head one time. Right.
He was skating with the puck on the left half mark, went around the net to stuff it in. Didn't look up once.
And he's trying to lock up up a game and the other team has one more guy on the ice down one with a minute to go like what did you think was gonna happen somebody was coming down and train tracks man so i hate seeing somebody get injured i felt awful for the kid it was his birthday and his first ever playoff goal you got to pick your head up in my mind you got to protect yourself that was always what i was taught and it's definitely a different game but four games is fucking wild for that hit in my opinion i i think the um the way you guys approach it i i i love it because it is more of like the hey this game and i think hockey has gotten safer football has gotten safer but there is an element that like things will still happen when you play a physical sport where guys get hit. There's some hits that you can change every rule.
There still will be things where a guy doesn't have his head up, and it was unfortunate. And maybe, like you said, charging and all that.
But some of these things just can't be taken out of a game, and you have to have a little, like, realistic approach to it. So I appreciate you guys when you say that.
Until the NHL gets rid of hitting, which will never happen, and they'll never get rid of fighting either because the players don't want it out. Until that happens, which will never happen, so it's a stupid discussion, there will always be injuries and there will always be enormous hits.
The game is going so fast, and that's my other thing other thing fucking people's zap rooter these films and they stop them at like the exact moment it's like dude the guy was going 19 miles an hour like you're stopping it like it was slow motion and in in the end my whole thing is in the game of hockey and any physical game if you play with your head down you're gonna get injured it's like it's done deal. It doesn't matter how dirty the hit is.
It doesn't matter how clean the hit is. If you have your head up, you're able to protect yourself.
And a lot of guys now, because hitting has become less and less, really don't learn to play the game with their head up. They have their head down and they're fishing for the puck.
And they don't realize that, yeah, while there aren't as many hard hitters in the league anymore, the Scott Stevens have pretty much gone away.

There's still a guy or two on every team that's looking to truck stick you.

So it is what it is.

I hate seeing injuries, but four playoff games is considered like eight to ten regular season games, and Shifley's their best player.

It was a shitty blow for the Jets.

By the way, Hank laughed at your pronunciation of Zap Ruder.

And when Hank laughs at your pronunciation. Hank's laughing at my pronunciation of anything? Six months ago, he thought it was pronounced Thailand.
So, yeah, that's kind of the company you're keeping right now. But, yeah, he laughed at that.
I was chuckling. It was...
You say it, Hank. Zapruder.
It just caught me off guard. It caught me off guard.
I wasn't laughing at you. It just caught me off guard.
I chuckled. That's all.
Oh, yeah. You're laughing with me.
Okay. Same with me.
It's got to be smarter. Put this dick in your face.
You make a good point, though, because that's the thing. It always makes me laugh about hockey Twitter, how you'll see the replies underneath.
Oh, there it is. Hey, Biz.
The replies underneath the tweet, and there will be, like, seven different people capturing the same video in slower motion, having seven different opinions on where the contact was made and it's like at some point you just got to acknowledge that the game moves pretty fast it's played on ice it's like look right here look right here his shoulders in his face i'm like dude if you didn't stop it right then it was he he started lining the guy up 10 feet ago like you cannot stop an image in hockey or football with these guys going that fast and try to relate it into like, oh, look at right here. That was moving way too quick to even slow down and try to zap-rooter it.
Zap-rooter it. You just showed Biz.
What's up with Biz's foreskin? What's the latest? I actually just sold it to Legal Seafood here in the harvest, so we're going to make some profit off of it, and if you're looking for a good calamari, a nice calamari platter, go check it out. Hey, pink foreskin, it's just going to be a, you're going to have a shot of Pink Whitney with a little crispy foreskin on it.
It's like the tequila worm. It's the tequila worm at the bottom of the bottle.
Exactly. There you go.
There you go. We've got to brand it, though.
There's a Biz 20 promo code for sports. Wait, so for people who don't know, Biz said on a live stream, I think, that if the Leafs lose to Montreal in the first round, they were up, I think, in the series.
He said he would get circumcised. He said it in January.
He said it in January. He said it in January.
So when are you getting circumcised? I know, Big Cat. It was kind of like your finger thing, but in the end...
But I didn't... Wait, my finger thing, I didn't lose.
No, I'm saying it was a bet throughout the year. You didn't lose it.
But when he lost it, I was kind of like, dude, I think people are going to be all over you. We talked to different doctors and people.
Like, if he got a boner for six weeks, he could die. And you're a horny guy.
You're a very horny guy. Yeah, you're a very horny guy.
He gets bonked all the time. So he can't be getting his stitches ripped out with a heart on middle of the night when he's having a wet dream.
So you're going to back out of it how much would you pay to have a wet dream pft uh zero dollars i don't pay for sex dude wet dreams are awesome myself it's been like 20 years it was the best yeah it's like virtual reality world it's virtual reality porn exactly it's a hand job for god this is sick um wait i have question about your foreskin. So you're not going to get it cut off.
You're, like, officially, you're bowing out of this bet. You're welching on it? No, we're looking into it.
Maybe there's some other things I could do to keep the people happy who really want it removed. It's mostly just Habs fans up in Canada here who they're up 4-1 now.
They're going to close out this series. They're going to be up 3-0.
So they've got enough good things going on. I'll support them the rest of the way, but they ain't getting my cock.
Can you get partially circumcised? Can you do just like a circumcised junior? That's the problem. If I take the foreskin off, half of it's gone.
It's like, fuck, what am I going to do? He goes from 4.5 inches to 3.5. Wait, wait.
Proportionally, that's a huge inch. Wait, Biz, why don't you just do this? Why don't you say if the Habs win the cup, you'll get their logo tattooed on your neck? Because he already has a stale pumpkin on his forearm.
What the fuck's a Habs logo on his neck? On his neck? It's better than the tattoos he has. All right, so maybe on his face.
Or on his penis. You get it as a little eye drop, You know? I'll get a Canadian logo eye drop.

A tear. You heard it here first.

Alright, there it is. If the

Habs win the cup, you're going to get a tear

drop with the Canadians logo.

Exactly. I don't think there's a chicken

dick's chance that the Habs are going to get out of the next round.

I don't even know how they're doing it.

I don't understand how they're doing what they're doing

now, let alone... I already said they

stink. The counterpoint biz to that argument would be, well, you already put up your penis and you lost that.
I got nothing else to say, buddy. Well, Toronto.
Toronto's the biggest bunch of scrubs. They lose every year in the first round.
He just thought this year was different. We had a long day of a sandbag and we were drinking pink wit and he made this call about his foreskin.
It wasn't even a bet. It just came out of nowhere and it came back to bite him in the fores.
Well, what if it was just like, I'll give up one testicle? Because you can get along with one testicle. Lance Armstrong, John Kruk did it.
It's been done. If I'm getting anything done, MLSC and those guys in Toronto making over $10 million collectively pay for it, then I would consider it.
But we've got to start there because they're the ones who cost me my cock

or pardon me.

Unbelievable.

Wait, so what the fuck do the Leafs do?

This is now...

I mean, they're just a sad organization.

They're the Red Sox.

They're on their way to Red Sox-Cubs territory here.

No joke.

Yeah, but we were saying it would be like if the Cowboys didn't win another title for like 25 years

because they've won like they've won. They won in 67.
Right. Right.

So I mean, that's like, that's it's in,

I think in 15 days it'll be the longest drought in the history of the NHL.

Shit. Okay.
That's crazy. So, which is, that kind of shocked me.
Yeah.

Like there's so many, you know,

there's so many new teams that have come into the league after 67.

I don't think it would affect him because I didn't think Montreal was shit. And then Price got hot and then those Marner, Matthews guys didn't do anything and that was all she wrote for the leafs so so the question now for leafs fans is like what do you do next because they tried fixing all their issues off this past offseason it's still lost in the first round right that's what i was going to ask you because like it's got to be at least a big part mentally right now like mentally draining on them for the for not only like it's a block for them to get out of there but every time they in the first round, it's like another notch in that mental bedpost where you're like, fuck, we can't do it.
So like you have to make some weird change, but they don't really have like, they're too talented to make any weird changes. There are guys that you don't want to take a chance, getting rid of or dealing.
So if you look back, they have no cap space. Let's pretend you're GM of the Maple Leafs right now.
What do you do?

I don't pretend to ever be a GM.

I can barely even get up and get dressed in the morning. I could never decide rosters.

I could never pick anything.

My only guess,

my only guess would be to try to maybe trade Nylander,

who was their best player in the playoffs,

but you can't trade Marner,

Matthews or Tavares because of what they make and how good they are. Trade Nylander and maybe get another stud D.
They have some good D. They just signed this Brody from Calgary last summer.
He's good, but I don't know, man. I don't know.
It's a disaster up there. Are you still a Bryson guy after this last weekend? I think both of them are nerds, to be honest.
You guys are boys with Brooks, but what is... What Bryson has done, and honest to God, if you don't like a nickname, the worst thing in the world you can do is tell people you don't like it, and then you'll be called it forever.
And the fact that people are getting kicked out of BJ Torvets for calling him brooksy i would i would try to sue you can't you can't call a golfer the wrong name you get kicked out of an event you paid for for that it's crazy it's it's the the uh dude branley chambley who's fucking sucks he blocked me i had to go on my alt account youngstown brandle brandle blocked you yeah oh yeah oh yeah he was like this is bullying like i hope people realize like dude he's not well no one's saying anything mean to him you can't they're literally just saying Brooksy you can't bully the fucking US Open champion it's not like hey you're fat or like yeah oh like you know get hit by a butt they're literally just saying let's go Brooksy and people are calling it heckling I'm like I think you have to be mean to be considered a heckling saying the wrong name and here's the thing dude how the fuck did bryson dechambeau win a u.s open he's the most no fans no fans two things two things no fans no brooks kepka and also he's never finished higher than brooks kepka in a major when brooks played do you think they're all do you think they're just teeing this up for like a boxing match or something? You would think that if you didn't know better, but Bryson is like incapable of planning that out. He can't do anything.
Bryson's tweet. Yeah.
Bryson's tweet about Brady, the flated balls. I was like, oh my God, he's that much of a geek.
He's that much of a geek. That was the worst tweet I've ever read.

Right, PFT?

No, it was a bad tweet, yes.

PFT made, like, the same joke two weeks before.

I didn't make the tweet about Tom Brady and, like, the fucking golf balls deflating.

I made a joke about something that actually was deflating, which was Bitcoin at the time.

Right.

So at least there was a correlation there.

Right, right.

But with Bryce and—

Right, right.

I mean, Tom seemed to think it was— Tom, I take my criticism from Tom Brady about my jokes. I don't take it from you two guys.
Yeah, well, he did say that he's seen better. So that means it sucked.
I accept that from Tom Brady. Nothing worse than sending out a tweet.
Nothing worse than sending out a tweet. The usual likes you get, it's like one-eighth of it.
You're like, oh, no, I can't delete't delete it it's a bad tweet yeah what was the worst tweet you've had oh fuck i can't think of it i can't think of any i've had some bad just go to my twitter and look at the ones that have like 63 likes and there's other ones with 6 000 uh what's the word was the taylor hall hangman tweet like your first viral tweet i i always see that go rev I was talking to Borelli about that. I don't know if you know this tweet, Big Cat and PFT.
It was so old. Do you guys remember when the pictures on Twitter had to be from like YFrog? Yes.
Oh, yes, yes, yes. So you can't even get the picture anymore, but we were all not playing in an exhibition game in Minnesota.
We were on the Oilers, obviously. And so I was like, let's play hangman, guys.
So I think it was Halsey did the hangman. He had Eberle guessing.
And the word was banana split, okay? Halsey spelt banana wrong, right? And then Eberle was guessing. And the second word banana was filled, but it was spelled wrong.

And then the second word was S.P. space.
I.T. and Ebs couldn't guess that it was split.

And so I wrote I think I was sitting next to them and I was living with them.

I'm like, oh, my God, I'm 30 years old at 19.

I'm like, I wrote Ebs can't figure out the second word split and Halsey can't spell banana. How many games did you guys win that year? Oh, we finished dead last year.
We always talk about like overtime. When we're watching overtime, how bad it sucks as a fan to watch it.
Is it harder to watch overtime or play in overtime in the playoffs it's so much harder watching like as as a gambler like if you're watching your favorite team just know the guys playing there really aren't nerves i'll tell you seriously i played in a triple overtime game in the cup finals it is all about like next shift next shift you're not panicked you're just the same thing over and over, whereas fans are literally sitting on their hands shaking the entire time. So players are not nervous.
I know like deep down they're nervous, but the game's going too fast to think about it, whereas fans, you can't even breathe. You almost just like want the game to end.
I'm looking at it right now. He spelled B-A-N.
He had two N's. He had two N's.
Three N's. Wait.
Three N's. Yeah, B-A-N-A-a-n he had two n's three n's yeah wait three n's yeah b-a-n-a-n-n-a ba and like nana yeah okay i got it that's fucking hilarious i remember ebbs is like what is that word on my split bro it is the y frog that was so funny when y frog like got changed, and then people's images and their tweets 10 years after the fact got changed to just random pieces of porn because someone went in the back end on Y-Frog and changed everything around.
I remember that. You're just sitting there watching? Halsey and I got Twitter at the same time, right around the same time.
At the beginning, I was just off anything. And now you look, you're like, what were we doing at the beginning? You could have said whatever you wanted then.
Oh, my God. Now it's like you're just getting in trouble.
Unbelievable. I want to give you the opportunity to defend yourself because every time you lash out against some fan base, one or another, they get mad at you.
They're like, oh, Witt's being a buffoon because he's talking. He's doing a selfie video again where he's screaming at me because I'm a hockey fan on Twitter.
And they always reply to you with the picture of your head inside your jersey on the ice after you got turtled by somebody. Would you like an opportunity to explain how you got into that position? Is that just like a bad picture taken at a bad moment? Or did you really just get frustrated? I thought I talked about this.
I thought I'd told this story on your your podcast but tim jackman had been trying to fight me since 2001 maybe maybe 2002 he'd been trying to fight me in the ushl in the ahl in the nhl and then finally at one point he's like i got him and i saw him coming after i snapped the pass and he's tough as shit i'm not and i immediately went down well i didn't think anything of it because like i think we won the game and whatever no big deal next morning i got my group chat with my buddies back home and one of my buddies goes what the fuck is this and it was that picture i was like oh my god i was like when is this thing gonna like hit the internet and then it really didn't for years i had to retire and then i was on barstool radio and i actually brought it up you know when you got to get ahead of things yeah that way you control the narrative i was like if you guys it was when kevin and dave were doing it together i was like have you guys ever seen my headless picture and they just went bananas the next thing you know people tweeted at me i'm like bro you think i give a fuck that tim jackman beat me up and there's a picture of me with no head i don't care i still got paid that game i don't get to own it, and, like, what, it's, at some point... Everyone's like, Jackman beat the shit out of you, you got no head.
I go, what would he do to you, you pigeon? Look at you on Twitter, you got three chins. Yeah, that was, like, that was, it's stopped now, but people used to, for at least like two years, would always just be like, you guys got your TV show canceled after one show.
It's like, okay. Like, we had a TV show.
Yeah, right. We had a fucking TV show, and it doesn't hurt anymore.
A little bit, but whatever. I love saying, though, like, I love saying about Twitter people, it's like, you think I care? As I'm, like, screaming about how much I care.
Yeah, right, right, right, right. All right, last question.
The Roback question. Use code PFT on Roback.com.
For 20% off your first purchase, R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com, code PFT. They make the best performance polos and the only performance polos we wear.
And for our guest today, we'd like to gift you, Ryan Whitney, a Roback performance Q-Zip on us. What is the prediction for the rest of the Bruins Islanders series then give us your cup final uh okay so I I picked the B's in seven so I think they win tomorrow at home I think they lose on Long Island I think they win at home in game seven uh that's not really going too crazy that the home teams win in the next three but I think the Bruins move on I then think that uh unfortunately the Bruins are playing to, like, lose to Tampa in five games.
Tampa's so good. They're so deep.
They have the best goalie in the league. Kucherov's got, like, 17 points already and even playing the regular season.
So I'm going Tampa, and I think the Avs end up getting it done against the Knights and then smoke the Canadians. And we're looking at Tampa, Colorado, and I think it'll be one of the best cup finals we've ever seen.
Wow. Okay.
Wow. Two Southern teams.
Yeah, two Southern teams. Two Southern teams.
Yeah, I'm on a Southern team. Oh, what's your nickname? It's a snowstorm that can kill people.
What an idiot. I made the whole room laugh.
What's your saying on that? That's the perfect way to end. All right, guys.
Love you. All right.
Love you, too. Love you, guys.
See you, bro. Ryan Whitney is brought to you by our great friends over at Omaha Steaks.
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Okay. Our Monday reading tonight is not a reading.
We're going to live watch the Mayweather versus Paul. Logan Paul.
Logan Paul fight. He walked out.
He's got a Pokemon card around his neck. Charizard.
I missed Charmander. I missed Pokemon.
I was like a little bit before. Yeah, me too.
Is it Charmander? I think that's our biggest difference, actually, is that you're a Pokemon guy.

We're not.

And Yu-Gi-Oh.

Like, we're Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

We only had to remember four of them.

So wait. It was Charmander, and then I believe the middle one.

There's three stages to every Pokemon.

So like Charmander's little baby.

I think it was Charmeleon is the middle.

I think Squirtle is the only one I remember.

And then Charizard, Squirtle, and then Blastoise was Big Squirtle. Oh, bonk.
Damn. Yeah.
Okay, so they're ready to go. There's no judge.
You guys remember the Pokemon thing where, like, four years ago, the Chinese government basically had us take videotapes of our living rooms and put them online? Yeah, yeah. That was wild.
I want to hear something more wild real quick, because I have a friend that still does Pokemon Go. Really? Oh's probably the best person there is a right insane there is a ref here's what i don't understand so they said they were announcing it as they were coming in and they were like everyone's a winner tonight because no one's gonna lose and everyone's going home with a bag and everyone's gonna watch something that's exciting it, wait, but we would like to watch a knockout or something.

It's in a sports arena.

Yeah, so I still can't really wrap my head around it.

So basically Floyd is doing this so that he ensures that no matter what happens,

he's still not going to take an L.

Correct.

Although he could get knocked out.

He could get knocked out.

He could get KO'd, but he won't take an L.

Dude, Logan Paul is fucking jacked.

Yeah, Logang.

Why does it say Dorado, Puerto Rico?

Is that where he's fighting out of?

I guess so.

Is that where he's training?

No, he moved there.

He moved there for taxes.

Tax reasons.

Oh, that's awesome.

Maybe for steroid reasons, too.

That's actually a sick move.

I like that.

But wait, they're part of the United States.

Yeah.

They pay income taxes.

You can win Mega Millions Powerball in Puerto Rico. Right.
So why would he move there? I don't know. I don't know anything about taxes.
Sounds good. Yeah.
He looks jacked. He's got a mullet.
Nipple size. Baby mullet.
Decent. Decent nipple size.
Maybe large. Okay, traps.
Oh, there's the other one. There's Jake.
Jake is the one that's really good at boxing. Correct.
So people seem to dislike Jake more than they dislike Logan. I can't actually keep them like, I don't know.
Oh, no, they're stalking each other in the ring. I still don't.
Logan is the more mature, business-minded, smart. He was the one that did it first.
No, that's Jake. Is he the older? He's older.
He was doing it first. Jake kind of followed his lead and is the bad boy.
But Logan did the suicide forest. But we forgave him for that.
He's come all the way back from that. Correct.
Correct. That was a youthful mistake when he was 28.
Yeah, yeah. All right., predictions real quick before they actually touch gloves.
Are there going to be rounds? Or is it just like fighting your entire rounds? I think it's eight three-minute rounds. Okay, I am going to say that.
Soccer in four. By the way, we're watching the soccer game, too, and we're bringing in some tall, lanky-ass backup goalie.
This can't be good. No one's going to win.
That's my prediction. Yeah.
All of us lose. I'm going to predict that there will never be a clean shot on Floyd.
Floyd, unfortunately, can't probably knock him out because he's too small. So it's going to be like West Side Story.
They're just going to dance. They're going to dance fight.
I think that Logan is going to catch him once. I think he's going to catch him one time.
And then that'll wake Floyd up. Because remember when we saw the Mayweather-McGregor fight a few years ago, same type of thing happen.
He gets bored. He likes to play with his food before he gets.
You guys ever watch that back? Or did you just try and draw off your memory? Yeah, I did. It was not even close.
We thought it was a lot closer. There was that one round, like round three, where McGregor kind of like roughed him up.
Okay, here we go. No touching gloves.
These guys don't like each other. Wow.
Real bad blood. There is a huge size difference.
Damn. And no one's leaning.
They're smiling at each other. They're winking.
This might suck. I think they're going to kiss.
Logan's gas already. I'm actually going to give Logan credit here.
I think he does kind of want to try to fight him. But Floyd doesn't want to fight.
No. Floyd, this is...
All right, round two. Yeah, he doesn't care.
He just wants the back. Round two, just release a bunch of cats in the ring at once.
Or just make the ring smaller and smaller every single round. Cut the ropes in.
Actually, we should start a fighting league like that. Every round, it gets closer and closer.
It's war zone. That would be sick.
Gas. We'll have poisonous gas on the outside of the ring.
That would actually be... Yeah, it would solve a lot of problems with fighting.
Guys don't want to fight. They end up just kissing each other.
Okay, round two. Here we go.
Ding, ding, ding. This one should be electric.
They were really feeling each other out in that first round. The amount of respect shown between these two is just off the chart.
They know that both of them One mistake and the others it's lights out. Lethal punches.
They're just rope-a-doping all of the United States right now. I'm being rope-a-doping.
I said that the minute I walked in today. We were talking about getting this fight.
And I was like, I'm pre-mad about getting this fight. And watching it and being like, what the fuck did I just watch? But I still had to get it.
Because you have to. Just in case something crazy happens.
Right. You can't not get it.
So they basically have tricked us all. It's genius.
I'm not even mad about it. Not to get all horny on you guys, but how...
Now's a good time to talk. Do you think that there's a market out there for a live pay-per-view sex tape? Yes.
I think that there would be. I think that exists, doesn't it? Is it? I'm pretty sure that's like live fans.
Yeah, like cam shows and stuff. Yeah, now's a good time to talk about PFT, your new love affair.
No, we already discussed that. With the porn star? No, we're good.
We're discussing it on the show. We're good.
Let's talk about it now. It's too Monday reading of your choice.
Okay, alright, so I do not, she has a love affair with me. I think that she's, by the way, she's not a porn star.
She's a journalist, okay? She does a podcast. It's called No Jumper.
What's her pinned tweet? She doesn't do that podcast. She doesn't do that podcast.
She appeared on it. She appears on podcast.
She's a frequent guest on podcast. She's a journalist.
She's a son's insider. Right.
You think she owes No Jumper? The are inside her. BFD is in love.
I'm not in love. She slid into my DMs and Mexico just scored a goal.
VAR save me. VAR.
Fuck. Wow, you get two sports at once and they do a little jump in circle.
It's embarrassing how many Mexico soccer fans there are in Denver. Embarrassing.
And round three is about to end. That was by far the most action and there was pretty much no action in round three.
That look from Floyd, though, said, I'm mad and I'm going to actually try to knock you out the next round. Yeah, let's see if he holds that or if maybe someone whispers in his ear and is like, hey, man, you have $100 million from this fight.
How much money do you think we're putting in Floyd Mayweather's pocket right now? Well, $25, right? At least. Yeah, it was $49.99.
Yeah, yeah. Are you a little sick, Jake? No.
Allergies? Allergies. I was in Florida.
They're bad in Florida. Long weekend? Long weekend with the allergies? Were you in Miami with Mike Irvin? I wasn't in Miami.
Your nose was a little stuffed up? Allergies. Can you take some nose spray? A little cocaina? No.
Oh, are you off? Are you done with it? I've been off, yeah. You kicked it cold turkey? Yeah, after like a week, I was fine.
Even after like the summer ramping up this weekend and stuff? Yeah. It's pretty crazy.
Did you see how he snapped at me? I was like, no. Can't have that again.
Can't even think about it. All right, here we go.
Round four is starting. And I agree.
I think Floyd's actually going to try here.

Oh, boy.

Logan's throwing his body around.

Just, like, leaning on him.

I think that's, like, it's got to be an underrated, annoying part of being a boxer is the other guy just, like, leaning his whole body on you.

Oh, boy.

By the way, I looked up my back.

Oh, just gave him a little ass slap.

I looked up the Alex Caruso NFT. Yeah.
It's lost like 95% of its value. I'm going to say this for Logan Paul.
This will probably end up producing at least some really cool pictures of him. Yeah.
Like someone's taking pictures. Instagram's going to be fired tomorrow.
And he'll be like, look at me getting in the ring with Floyd Mayweather. Like, that's worth it alone for him.
How many more rounds of this do we have? Four. I know, it's brutal.
Like, this is actually painful to watch. Imagine being at the stadium right now.
You're getting rained on. You're watching a boxing match.
Not Brooks. Imagine if you're not on cocaine at this match.
Brooks is a man of the people. Be ridiculous.
He's underneath the roof. Just want to note that.
Not on the floor. Because he loves the people.
It has nothing to do with the fact that he couldn't afford the floor seats. It's just the people.
You want to just debate MJ LeBron while this is going on? Oh, man. I saw that one guy was like was like, the, the, the.
All right. I hate that you just did this to me, but I'm just going to, I got to say this one thing.
Okay. It's been bothering me a lot because LeBron fans have been saying that's the first time LeBron lost in the first round.
MJ lost in the first round his first year. LeBron didn't make the playoffs his first two years.
So it's the, it's the reverse of the argument, like Nick Wright, which I actually don't think is totally the worst argument where Nick Wright is like, LeBron didn't make the playoffs his first two years. So it's the reverse of the argument like Nick Wright,

which I actually don't think is totally the worst argument

where Nick Wright is like LeBron gets dinged for losing in the finals,

but is it better to lose in the conference finals?

Well, the same thing applies for MJ.

I would say losing in the first round is better than not making the playoffs.

Right.

So that just bothered me, but whatever. I don't take it seriously, guys.
Not at all. I like that call there.
That foul was very much clearly inside the penalty box, but they called it outside because the ref's a coward. Mm-hmm.
It would be awesome if in the last round, Logan Paul just kicked him directly in the penis. Mm-hmm.
And that was just like, yup, I won. All right.
Mayweather's family. This actually tells you how old he is.
That his, looks like his kids are of age. That's all I'll say.
What? His son. To do what? And his daughter.
To be at a boxing match. To vote.
To be at a boxing match. They look like they can vote.
Maybe even to run for president. Oh, we got a yellow card.
Oh, ref just got pushed. Oh, fuck.
All right. We're switching to soccer.
All right, soccer. This is actually more action than we've seen in the boxing match.
Yeah. There's a half a choke there.
They're pushing. Oh, we got our second keeper down.
That's great. Where's Tony Miola? Dude, something about a goalie flopping is really, really sad.
Oh, they're the kings of it. Floyd Mayweather, they're showing his exhibitions.
He fought the big show. He made that guy in Japan crock.
That's awesome. You know what Floyd should do? Floyd should just do exhibition matches against people that have never boxed before and just beat the fuck out of him in exchange.
Like, he'll pay you $10 million. Yeah.
I would rather watch that. All right.
Round eight, round seven. Sorry.
I was for a second there. I thought maybe we were out of our misery.
I went straight into the keeper. That should have been, that should be a red straight red.
If they were smart, they'd have one of them take a dive in the eighth. So just like at least, Oh,.
The anti-discrimination protocol. Step one has been enacted right now.
Seems like there might be puto chance. Oh, shit.
In which case, I don't know which group of fans is initiating the puto chance. I'm going to guess that it's probably Mexico.
Let's see. You're winning the CONCACAF Nations League Championship in added time because of the Puto chant.
Whoa. All-time comeback.
Can they use VAR to go back and review whether or not they're doing a discrimination chant? Yeah, I don't know. All right, round eight.
Sorry, round eight started. We missed the start of it.
Way more interesting, the soccer game right now, by a large margin. This sucks.
I mean, if you're Jake Paul, I mean, Logan Paul, this counts as a win, right? Yeah. You win eight rounds of Floyd Mayweather? Yeah.
Kind of? Yeah, like I said, the pictures are awesome. You can put a picture.
Now, the funny part is when I say the pictures are awesome, you're like, yeah, for Instagram, I didn't even think about that. I was thinking for your man cave.
Oh, to show your kids one day. But then I realized I don't think Logan Paul has a man cave.
I think the world is your man cave if you're a Paul brother. Yeah.
Fuck, man. It also dawned on me that they probably also are doing this because...
Oh, oh, little... A little razzle-dazzle.
Yeah. Oh.
I don't know what he's doing. They're not going to fight anymore.
He's trying to say, look up there. Oh, and he tried to punch him.
They're giving him a little something. With six seconds left, the fight got interesting.
And that's it. That's the fight.
Oh, they're going to try to fight after. One more round.
Do it, cowards. So, I think what it comes down to...
Oh, now Jake is saying they won. What it comes down to is the best after party of all time has to be after a big boxing match.
Hank, can you speak to that? Like without a doubt. Can't confirm.
So Jake Paul and Logan Paul just basically made it the most lucrative, but also most difficult way to have that party to throw on these huge events. And it's all for the after party, which will be awesome.
Yeah. I think in an after party like an after party like this you probably have to spend i don't know like 25 of your purse that you took home so much money you gotta yeah you gotta make it worthwhile so much and also the paul brothers are smart because they are the they understand that the first person to claim victory gets that moment right so by his brother declaring that logan paul won i guess we're awarding this my card has it.
I've got six rounds to Logan, two to Floyd Mayweather, big cat. I'm going to go.
I'll go the opposite. No, wait.
Wait. I've got three to Logan, two to Floyd, and one to the U.S.-Mexico soccer game.
Wait. Floyd Mayweather threw 14 jabs in an eight-round fight? All right.
The fight ended. No one won.
For the first time, I'm going to say the participation trophy era is real. I think that's my takeaway from this.
What did we just watch? We all lost. They won.
They both won. Right now, early results of the poll coming in.
After 5,700 votes, three minutes in, we've got 74% of America saying Floyd Mayweather won. Okay.
So congratulations, Floyd Mayweather, on your title of stupidest champion of all time. Yeah.
Damn. But we really are the stupid champions.
We won the stupid... For buying that.

He's giving us the crown of stupid championship.

Floyd Mayweather has had a hell of a career

getting everyone to buy pay-per-views

and then being at the end of it being like,

what the fuck did I just watch?

For his entire boxing career.

So congrats to Floyd.

He's very rich for it.

Anything else?

That's it.

That's our show.

Numbers?

Give me an eight. 99.
99. 92.
8, 8, 8. 67.
Damn. You got a fact? Animal fact? Yep.
Do you guys see that clear fish?

Animal fact.

No.

That's crazy.

A new fish just dropped.

Sloths can swim three times faster than they can move on land and can hold their breath

for up to 40 minutes.

Whoa.

Wow.

That's kind of cool.

Can't drown them.

Damn.

Love you guys.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye. Bye.
Bye. Bye.
Bye. Bye.
Bye. Bye.
Bye. Bye.
Bye. Bye.
Bye. Bye.
I'm talking away I don't know what I'm to say

I'm saying anyway

Today's a month

Days are finding

Shining away

I'll be coming for your lover king

Shining away

I'll be coming for your lover. Take on me.

Take me.

Oh.

I'll be.

Oh. Thank you.
It's okay. Say after me.
At least the planning to be safe and sorry.

Say after me.

At least the planning to be safe and sorry.

Take on me.

Take me on.

I'll be gone In a day of peace

Thank you. To remember He's shying away I'll be coming for you anyway He's shying away I'll be coming for you anyway Take on me Take me up I'll be gone.

In a day.

I'll be good in a day.