Playoff Madness, Lebron Secretly Jealous Of AD's Injury, The Maple Leafs Choke, And Monday Reading

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Today is Tuesday, June 1st.

Are we recording right now, Hank?

We're recording? All right. I want to say something bold.
bold Go off I want to make sure this is on the record I disavow any fans throwing stuff at players There we go Can we get a clap for me? Yep I know it's a hot take It's a bold thing to say Popcorn, spitting on fans Throwing water bottles at fans i disavow what if kairi was really thirsty true what if he had passed out and he was dehydrated and the fan was just trying to help him well i wanted to actually do a follow-up on my disavow well real quick i want to do a well but the wizards guy yeah he didn't throw anything he just went out there and got back he tried to touch touch net. He got backboard, which is the coolest thing that you can do.
Dude, fans be acting cray-cray, like officially. It's weird because it makes you think that the only thing that's been stopping fans from doing any of this is just them deciding not to do it.
There's really no barrier. We're trusting every single night that there are 20,000 fans in NBA arenas that are just going to all decide not to do anything dumb.
Common sense. Trusting 20,000 people to simultaneously have common sense.
Actually, we should be applauding NBA fans for having a great run the last 40 years by and large. It's just a minor hiccup in the last couple weeks.
Yeah, you don't talk about all the times when you go on the subway and it runs perfectly. Exactly.
Or when you get on a plane and you land with no problems and no delays. I actually think that what happened tonight at the Wizards game, it might be a fantastic deterrent for other fans going on the court.
Because you'll notice the guy that went on there, he got tackled. But what's worse than that is he had to have a two-minute conversation with Dwight Howard.
yeah I know and if you if the threat is like be careful if you run onto a court you might have to hang out with Grayson Allen right that's a pretty good way of making sure the fans stay away a strong talking to I do think that uh and I know that this is going to sound like I am defending fans which I clearly disavowed so don't even start but I do think the pandemic has fucked people up more than we realize and people are just getting back into to to the real world and losing their fucking minds but it's like pre-season yes pre-season everyone does no one knows how to act right now give it a couple weeks i think i do not think it's it's like some uh huge pandemic where we are epidemic where uh this is going to be the new norm that fans are just fucking with players constantly. I do think that it will find its equilibrium here and fans will stop being complete assholes.
Again, disavow. The Kyrie thing, though.
It is very weird to me that I disavow, wholly disavow. Kyrie was trying to be an asshole to try to fuck with the fans.
He was stomping on the logo to be a dick to the fans. Are you saying there are elements of provocation? No, I'm not.
I'm not. But it is funny.
It sounds like you're blaming it. You're saying you got Juju Smith-Schuster out there doing the Dougie on the midfield.
You heard me disavow. No, what I'm more saying is the line of thinking.
I think it's very funny to watch the media reaction. I did the disavow you heard me disavow no what i'm more saying is uh the the line of thinking i i think it's very funny to watch the media reaction i did the disavow at the beginning because everyone is like boldly saying you shouldn't throw things at players which i agree with and is easily the easiest thing to have in your head right but at the same time um kairi was being a dick he was being a dick he should never have anything i think kevin durant actually summed it up perfectly He's like, I know fans are passionate, Kyrie was being a dick.
He was being a dick. He should never have anything.
I think Kevin Durant actually summed it up perfectly. He's like, I know fans are passionate about Kyrie Irving, but that doesn't excuse you acting like that, which I completely agree with.
Kevin Durant nailed it, and it's just funny to watch people then say, oh, well, it's a logo. Who the fuck cares? Sports fans care.
They do. They do.
There almost too much backlash to booing yeah you'll you'll notice that a lot of people in the media they're booing people who are booing saying that you're not allowed to boo booing is like the healthiest thing we should oh we should feel free as men yes as men a lot of times we're told to repress our emotions and to keep everything bottled up i think you should you should encourage

booing boo and hiss yes hissing bring back kissing what about how how they do it over in like england

you whistle at guys yeah bring all that stuff back you know keep it respectful but with a

respectful level of hatred to somebody that you're actively rooting against you shouldn't

if you're a fan you shouldn't have to pretend like you're cheering for everybody because that's not

what fans do that's that was kind of my point is that i think there's a lot of people in the media

Thank you. you're actively rooting against.
You shouldn't, if you're a fan, you shouldn't have to pretend like you're cheering for everybody because that's not what fans do. that's, that was kind of my point is that I think there's a lot of people in the media who just don't like, they don't care about sports.
They don't root for a team. They don't actually understand how fans think.
Like I, I saw, and I, I love his work, but Sam Monson from a pro football focus was like, maybe fans just suck and we don't even need them. It's like, well, yeah, we do because fans are awesome and fans make the experience so much better.
That guy was a fucking asshole. The guy who spit on Trey Young was a fucking asshole.
The guy who threw popcorn at Russell Westwood was a fucking asshole. They should all never be allowed back into a game.
But at the same time, I'm not going to sit here and be like, I don't totally understand why a fan would be like, I don't like Kyrie Irving. It's cool to not like Kyrie Irving if you're a Celtics fan and to boo him.
Don't throw shit, but boo him. So I think we predicted this on last Friday's show or last Wednesday's show.
I'm going to level it up. I'm going to say by the time you're hearing my voice, if it's in the afternoon afternoon tomorrow or i guess that would be tuesday uh today if it's in the afternoon somebody will have already written the take that sports were better when there were no fans in the building correct that's that timeline has been accelerated over the weekend to a dramatic effect and you know what that person who writes that is not a fan of a team and doesn't go to sporting events.
Right. Like, I can guarantee you that they are basically so removed from the heart and soul of sports and what it means to be a fan that they can basically say, who the fuck cares the logo? Again, don't throw shit.
Who the fuck cares the logo? Guess what? Fans care about that shit. They put time, money, effort, all these things in an inordinate amount, you can say it's unhealthy, I'd probably agree with you, into their teams, so of course they care.
Caring is cool. It's cool to care.
It's also funny, though, that part of the argument is like, he stepped on our cartoon man's face. Of course! But that's what makes sports fun.
Right. That people are actually getting mad about that.
It's totally irrational, but I get it.

Former players, too.

Right.

Former players, yeah.

But when you remove yourself from all of it, it does seem ridiculous.

But then when you sit there and you're like, Hank, you don't like Kyrie Irving because of what he did to the Celtics, right?

Right.

So it makes sense.

There's history there.

And then he clearly did that on purpose.

When no Celtics was on the floor, too. It was like after timeout, he looked around, made sure no one was around.
It was like a very childish move. It was.
Look at the video. Again, I can't say it enough.
Disavow the fan. But do you think that Kyrie Irving was doing that just for no reason? He was doing it to piss people off.
100%. To piss the Celtics fans off.
I like that he did that. It's great.
It's all good. It's great to have this type of animosity.
As long as it stays civil in terms of fan interaction with players, animosity in sports is fun. It makes it fun.
It raises the stakes. Again, Kevin Durant absolutely nailed it.
He was like, they're very passionate about Kyrie Irving, but you cannot do that because you're a fucking fool. I just think that I'm a little bit worried

because I think that as a nation

we're about to lose our drinking

privileges. I think that that's going

to be another take. In stadiums? No.

It's going to be like EPL.

It's going to be like EPL where you

can drink, but especially

in the NBA because the players

control the league, so the players in the offseason

can get together. You know that LeBron

James, by the way, is very mad that nobody

has thrown a hot dog at him. He would like to lead the forefront of the players need to take control of this mess right now.
If something bad happens, if LeBron gets hit with a soda, there's going to be a talk this offseason of like in the EPL, you're only allowed to serve beer in the concourse area.

You can't bring it to the seats like discouraging

drinks. Overall, this is not just an NBA thing.

There's no way it's going to happen. It's money out of the

players' pocket. This is an American issue.

I'm worried that we're going to lose

our drinking privileges. You already can't drink on

Southwest Airlines. You can't.

They stopped serving hard liquor on JetBlue.

I dealt with that this weekend. That was

my cross to bear. It was tough for me.
I'm just saying, please don't don't do that. It's not going to happen because it's money out of their pockets.
Like, that would be that direct money out of it. I honestly think this is just a weird moment in time where people have lost their mind and they should be publicly shunned and banned from all these games.
And if arrested, sure. Charge, definitely.
Like, you can't throw shit at people but uh there's i don't know i think people are just losing their mind right now i also have noticed that every time something weird happens it's usually kevin harlan announcing it and then you get the replay with kevin harlan doing like the play-by-play for it i feel like maybe i don't know i don't want to say kevin harlan has something to do with it but it's like the Rob Schneider oil spill thing. Every time something like this happens, Kevin Harlan's voice is there.
Is he right now on the phone with the Texans and the Jaguars? He does. Hey, if Mattress Mac could get nude and climb up the uprights during a game so I could announce it, maybe we could get a few more clicks.
Yeah, he does have a great fan-on-the-field voice.

Or cat.

And he does a great job of doing it.

What were you going to say, Hank?

I was going to say, since the kid that threw the water bottle

got charged with assault with a deadly weapon or whatever,

does that mean McGregor should mostly get charged with assault

for throwing the water bottle at Nate Diaz?

Or when Steph Curry...

When he threw his mouthpiece.

Steph Curry started as throwing his mouthpiece at a fan.

That's true.

He could have killed somebody. I mean, I also think that we should.
I was half joking on Friday, but now that there's been more interactions, we really should implement like players get to beat the fuck out of one fan a year. It really would stop a lot of this.
We'd be running out of player fights by now. I know, but it really would stop a lot of this.
And I think people are just fucking losing their mind.

Anyway, let's talk about the actual game.

What about this?

What if you just put the player through the water bottle at center court before the next game,

you put him on a leash, and then you just let everybody in the arena throw their water bottles at him?

Yeah, like in that old...

The lottery.

I think it was WCW clip maybe, when everyone just started throwing chairs on that one guy, and there was just everyone threw their chairs in. Yeah, fill up all the water bottles with pennies and he gets to keep the money at the end.
We are literally discussing the plot of the lottery. Yeah, that's fine.
That's fine. I mean, it's a great story.
Teaches us all. I mean, this never would have happened at a Wizards game if Tavares Crittenden and Gilbert Reyes were still on the team.
That's true. You would not want to step on that court.

That's true.

All right, let's talk about the games, though, because we shouldn't let this.

We disavow.

All right?

Don't be an idiot.

Boo, hiss.

Boo and hiss.

Whistle.

Reply to their Twitter and be like, I hate you, but don't do anything that makes you look like a fucking asshole.

Make a sign.

Make a sign.

Yeah, bring back signs. Old school signs.
yeah yeah hank make a make a customized jersey burn a jersey in your backyard in the comfort of your own home do a photoshop where they're you put their face on a baby's body yeah there's a lot of ways to to express yourself but doing throwing shit at players and spitting on players and and the one in utah was actually weirdly, that was maybe the worst, where they basically were going after John Morant's family. That was so fucked up.
And in the Bruins game when Posternock was getting pelted with hats. Yeah, that's true.
That's true. They would never throw things on the court in hockey.
No. Rats, octopuses.
Squid, yeah. All right, let's talk about the games.
All right, let's start with this one, the Nets-Celtics game. Holy fuck, the Nets are so scary when they decide.
They had like a fuck you mode to them that similar to when the Warriors were really cooking and they're like, hey, we're just not going to miss any shots and just score every single time and there's nothing you can do about it. The Big Four scored 106 points.
That's Blake Griffin, Kevin Durant, James Harden, and Kyrie Irving. Kevin Durant was 14 for 20 and I mean, it's going to be, I actually think like the NBA playoffs are fascinating this year because the Celtics are obviously not the team to beat the Nets but like when they get into a series against the Bucs or a series against the Sixers, if Embiid is healthy, what's going to happen? Because they just look unstoppable when they want to be unstoppable.
And I think Blake Griffin, I think he might have led the team in offensive rebounding too. So that's big.
You get those second-chance points. Yeah.
No, but he was close. He was one off.
He was one off.

He had the least amount of fouls by the starters, so he was nice.

There we go.

There we go.

Double sportsmanship by Blake Griffin in that game.

I'm proud of you, Blake.

He was actually a plus 12, and Kevin Durant was only a plus three.

Yeah, and Joe Harris was a plus 17.

So guests on part of my take had an average of a plus.

Plus 29.

What's that average?

A cumulative. Plus 14 and a half.
Yeah.5 net average there. That's pretty impressive.
The Nets do have that element to them which is like the Warriors where they can come out and just have a sick third quarter and just dominate you. They're able to separate so quickly.
Hank, do you think that the Celtics take another game? No. No, that's it.
You think it's over? Yeah. Jason Tatum was incredible.
That was his MJ game. Yeah, that was an incredible game that he had on whatever it was, Friday night.
He had 50, right? Yeah, that's fine. He had 50.
Ken was not playing. I mean, the starting lineup, it's one of those things where it doesn't matter.
You could play those starting two lineups 100 times, and the Celtics might win one. Is this the end for Marcus are saying that are you sad about it some people are saying that uh I am sad about it it's one of those things I was talking to a friend over the weekend and he was saying that you know they need to get rid of him because they need Tatum to step up and be the leader and with Marcus Smart there like he's always going to be the vocal captain guy and if they want to take the next step it just can't be him which kind.
Hopefully they can get some good, you know, good assets for him. But I always loved him.
I think he's a great player. So Hank, if you're GM, GM Lockwood over there, what pieces do the Celtics need? They need like, you know, like a Kevin Durant, James Harden.
I don't know. It's, it's tough to say because it's just all superstars.
Like maybe Kyrie will come back with the Nets. Yeah.
They compete with the Nets or the Lakers. You need another bona fide superstar.
Who that is and how they get them, I don't really know. The Marcus Smart thing, though, we should do this for Mount Rushmore season.
The Mount Rushmore of players you rooted for that weren't great, but you in your mind, they're like Hall of Famers. In your mind.
You know what I mean? In 20 years, you'll be like Marcus Smart, and then someone will go look up his stats and be like, what? What are you talking about? Like Kyle Schwarber's that for me. I'll be like, yeah, Kyle Schwarber, Hall of Famer.
Tom Wilson. And you look up, he's like, wait, he was a 230 hitter.
Every team in the league would love Tom Wilson. But every sports fan has those guys who you're like, you just, you care about them so much, even if they aren't an all-star.
The Dirt Dogs. Yeah.
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, this series is over.
Can we call it over? 100%. It's over.
I actually think the Nets will try to score 200 points on Tuesday or whatever it is. Kyrie Irving might score 70 just to prove a point.
Don't throw shit at players. Disavow.
Again, how brave is that by me? This next game is going back to Jersey, right? Or going back to Brooklyn. Brooklyn, come on, dude.
Sorry. Brooklyn, stand up.
Sorry. Fucking Michael Strahan was at the game.
Sorry, Mayor de Blasio. How could I? Come on, man.
All right, so they're going to match up against the Bucs who proved that the Heat were bubble frogs. Is that what we're calling them? Well, they're a bubble team.
They're a bubble team. And outside of the bubble, there are too many families around.
Also, they thrive in a culture where it's just the dudes. Drew Holiday is also very, very good, and that changes a lot for the Bucs.
It also seems like maybe we should have respected the Bucs more. Well, I'm so mad at myself for not seeing this coming, where the Bucs, when they were the last couple of years, when they were the one seed

and Giannis won the MVP and everyone was talking them up,

that is when they're destined to fail and fail spectacularly.

This year, everyone kind of wrote them off,

especially with the Sixers being the one seed and the Nets being the Nets.

And it's like, oh, yeah, they still are pretty damn good

and they're a team that has won a lot of games in the last three, four years.

I'm very much looking forward to that series.

I think that the Bucs are for real.

I really do.

Thank you. the Nets, and it's like, oh yeah, they still are pretty damn good, and they're a team that has won a lot of games in the last three, four years.
I'm very much looking forward to that series. I think that the Bucs are for real.
I really do. I think that, like, when they have a good number two, like, that's been the question.
It was always like, is Chris Middleton going to be this guy? And now that they have, like, what appears to be, they've almost got a big three. They've got a medium three.
They've got a medium three. I also shout out also shout out the bucks twitter i thought it was very well done uh usually they'll you know teams will do the old takes expose and they'll only do the uh talking heads of the world they'll do like nick right and skip bales and all these people the bucks did just reply guys and i fucking love it it was just heat fans replying to the bucksucks Twitter account being like, Heat and Five, Heat and Six, Heat Culture,

and they did an entire collage of it, and it was so funny.

Should they not have included the handles of everybody that replied?

Was that not inviting harassment to them?

Oh, interesting.

Good point, PFT.

Be better, Bucks. Yeah, but I thought it was nice to just give a little shine

to the people who have three followers.

Yeah, burners.

And Tyler Hero.

There were a shitload of burners that were in those replies.

It was like, yeah yeah this is what we do yeah Jimmy Butler is their avatar and they're just replying to everything I liked it did you see the Carolina Panthers I mean Carolina Hurricanes after the Predators game no I just sent you the tweet it was a tweet of the banners it said one of the banners said, Taylor Luan crushed a beer. The other one said, Creed played during intermission.

And the other one said, second loudest house in the NHL.

I love it.

That was another good social media roasting.

I like that.

That was well done.

Well done.

All right.

Let's stick with the East.

By the way, if you're going to have Creed play at your sporting event,

you have to have some guy come down from the rafters draped in that ribbon like they did at the halftime show on thanksgiving yeah dallas like it's not really a creed performance unless you think somebody might just like fall from the rafters and land on the ice kind of kind of sad how far creed has fallen from going thanksgiving at the cowboys game to like basically house band first they were yeah they were yeah yeah that was like the guitarist you ignore playing at lunch hour at Potbelly's. Yeah.
It was just creed. I know.
It was very sad. Yeah.
Yeah. All right, let's stay in the East.
Are you a clap for the Potbelly's guitar? Yeah, you gotta give them a couple bucks. You have to, yeah.
If you make eye contact, you always have to give money to a street performer. It's all about the eye contact.
If you can avoid eye contact, you can keep on hidden cameras remember yeah yeah i'm also it could be jewel yeah i'm terrified i know that at some point i'm going to end up in a viral video where it's like i'm walking past yo-yo ma yeah playing the cello and he's like dressed up in some like weird outfit on the subway it's like look at this guy that won't even recognize the best music by the best artist i don't think he has to dress dress up for me to not recognize him. Yo-Yo Ma? Yeah.
I don't know. You'd be surprised.
No. If you saw Yo-Yo Ma playing the cello, if you walked past a guy who was really good at the cello and he looked like Yo-Yo Ma, you would probably think, is that Yo-Yo Ma? I don't know if I could.
I don't know what Yo-Yo Ma looks like off the top of my head. All right.
Let's stay in the East. Anybody playing the cello could be Yo-Yo Ma.
Yo-Yo Ma. Yeah.
The Wizards. Gentleman's sweep is coming.
Yeah. So got that one win.
Yeah. That's all that matters.
Crowd got hyped. It does matter about Joel Embiid's knee.
So I don't want to do this to myself again, but I am. I don't think he hurt his knee.
I think he hurt his ass slash back. He grabbed his back.
He fell on his back. His back has been bothering him all year.
He grabbed his back, but he also grabbed the back of his leg. This is Drew Brees' ribs all over again.
Joel Embiid's back is hurt. The knee buckled a little bit.
No, his back is hurt. You saw the shockwave go up through his knee when he landed.
It's his back. He hurt his back.
I think his back is hurt. And his ass.
Tailbone. What does pro football docs say about this? Sixers fans who are freaking out, just tell yourself that Joel Embiid was like, you know what, let's get more revenue for the league and we'll go five.
So sit out the second half. This is, honestly, though, for Sixers fans, this is as much of a disaster as possible if Joel Embiid's actually hurt.
And a series that they're going to win 4-1, there's still going to be so many conversations coming out just about Ben Simmons' free throw shooting just from that one game alone. Somehow you won the series 4-1 and it's going to be lost.
Hack of Simmons, I love it. Just saw that Davis Bertens is out for probably the rest of the series.
He's got a calf strain. After his Tony Snell line.
Well, he had even better than a Tony Snell line because I think he had like five fouls. He had six fouls.
Six fouls. He fouled out.
Yeah. Did I ever tell you about the time I set my youth league record for the quickest foul out? No.
Well, actually, I think you have, but tell it again. I think it was just about two minutes.
I fouled out in in two minutes of the game that's zero points and uh but to be fair like one of them was a technical foul that i got for yelling at the ref after he called me for a foul that i did not commit it was all ball everybody knew it um but i still think i hold that record to this day that's yeah yeah um according to shams lakers star anthony davis is unlikely to play yeah and wait there was something that was just posted about Joel Embiid being likely to play. This is a disaster.
This is threat level midnight for Sixers fans. The good news is you should be able to beat the Hawks or the Knicks.
It's going to be the Hawks. Maybe without them.
Maybe. Maybe not.
Shout out to all the Knicks fans who got mad for me calling them cute when they won. Let's talk about the Knicks.
And then we're chaining. We want the Nets.
Let's talk about the Knicks real quick. And then they're just getting.
They've lost two games by 40 points. I feel bad for Knicks fans.
They're cute. It's cute.
It is cute, Big Cat. I feel bad for them because they're going through something that I went through.
And I tweeted about it during Game 2, and I had a lot of Knicks fans yell at me and tell me that I was premature but it's pretty much exactly what I said in that Tom Thibodeau is a fantastic coach and he will always get your team to overachieve and play to their max ability during the regular season and then when you get to the postseason there's no extra gear now the Knicks aren't like they weren't supposed to be here so it's a little different they're a flawed roster but you he also played julius randall the most minutes of anyone in the nba this year the most minutes he like that was it's always going to go like this when you do that with your quote-unquote star player who can't figure out a double team has been shooting terribly he does look does look tired. He looks tired at the start of every game.

Yeah, and it also was like super flashbacks

when the Knicks were down, I think, 15 or something,

and Julius Randle was still in the game,

and that's when Derrick Rose got hurt.

This is Tom Thibodeau.

He's a great coach, but until it works in the playoffs, and again, they're a flawed roster, so they weren't even supposed to be here. Counterpoint, they're going back to the Garden.
Yeah, they are going back to the Garden. I love this series, by the way.
We're rooting for the Garden in this. I want to see as many Garden games as possible.
And I love this series because it feels like there's real animosity. Trey Young has been incredible.
He scored, I think, 35, 35, 37. Trey Young has you know how for a baseball team when players have handshakes with each different player, so they have like 15 different handshakes.
Trey Young has a celebration for each type of play. A long three, he has a celebration.
A sick assist, he has a celebration. He's averaging 10 assists in this series.
You know, a play at the hoop, he's got a celebration. I love it.
He's got so many fucking celebrations. If you're a Knicks fan, you have to move on.
An important thing about this game is you need to know when to get off of a take. And so far, the you're going bald takes have actually been counterproductive for you.

Yes.

So it was a good opportunity to see how it would impact him.

It turns out it just makes him pissed off, which makes him better.

Yeah.

So it's having the opposite effect that you want,

and you've got to find something else to make fun of Trey Young for.

Yeah, I don't know what else you can do when he just scorches your team every single game.

Yeah, like don't spit on him anymore.

He obviously doesn't like that. He spells his name like an asshole.
It should be T-R-E-Y. Yes, yeah.
Especially a basketball player. Two vowels in a row.
Right, but like, Trey, you're shooting threes. Uh-huh.
I don't know. But, yeah, I like this series.
You can also tell, I can always tell the temperature of a series. If I tweet anything, and it could be totally neutral about a game like i was saying uh on whatever day they played treyung was talking so much shit and he was missing his 40 footers which he loves to take i was like if he hits any of these in this game the shit talking is going to go to a different level and i had nicks and hawks fans mad at me and that just shows you how on edge everyone is and I love that.
Did you see the pregame trick

shot that he was doing where he was like bouncing the ball

off the other ball and then in between bounces

he would shoot it and he was sitting

down on the bench and just sank

a three as he was juggling a basketball

using another basketball to end up in the air.

Is he officially the poor man

Steph Curry? Yes.

That is very much a Steph Curry thing.

I think he wants to be Steph Curry. I do too.
Everyone should want to be Steph Curry? Yes. That is very much a Steph Curry thing.
I think he wants to be Steph Curry. I do too.
Want to be Steph. Yeah, everyone should want to be Steph Curry.
Alright, so that's the East. I want to be Phoenix Sun.
Get your dicks sucked. Let's talk about them.
So, I am back to now believing that the Lakers could lose this series. Oh, absolutely.
Because Anthony Davis. It's Anthony Davis' team.
When Anthony Davis goes off the floor and KCP got hurt too,

it was really bad watching the Lakers play offense.

And I, oh, man.

I think, what are your guys' predictions real quick for Game 5,

which is Tuesday night.

Our next show won't be until Friday.

I think we're going to get like a vintage, vintage LeBron

just every single way. We keep waiting for that.
Like 30, 38, 12, and 8. Oh, it's going to be one of those stat lines where Nick Wright will be like, no player has had this exact one of those weird no player since Michael Jordan has ever done this in the playoffs.
I don't know. I like the Suns.
Now, I got in trouble last time I said that because I was very, very wrong about what was a game two, but I feel like I'm going to bet on the Suns again. Well, I mean, without Anthony Davis, it's a totally different team.
Shout out Mark Jackson, who at the end of the game was like, I don't think Anthony Davis makes a difference in this game. He's like, what? Okay.
Like, Anthony Davis, however you want to rank them, is probably a top five player in the NBA. He doesn't make a difference? Right.
Okay. DeAndre Ayton, though, has been incredible.
And I wanted to, the only thing I'm worried about with DeAndre Ayton is he's got Greg Oden, like, this guy looks 10 years older than he is face. Yeah looks a little bit like he looks like Abraham Lincoln he's aging rapidly but he's dunking like the dunks are just unreal like I think he's probably shooting 81% okay I was going to guess like between 80 and 90% yeah field and like vast majority of those are just just yams yes finally they're not doing a good job of defending him inside but yeah he's fun to watch like he's He's still at that age where he's usually the biggest player on the court, and he's jumping higher than anybody on the court, and you just can't stop that dunk.
You can't defend it. PFT has a LeBron stan.
When you see Chris Paul do dirty plays like he did on Kyle Kuzma, like trip him, knock him down, do you wish that LeBron would speak out? They're best friends, and LeBron's never really mentioned how dirty of a player he is and he's going after his own guys right now? Oh, Chris Paul, some things are bigger than your NBA. He's a country-first guy, and so they play USA basketball together.
So that's a bond that's tough to break. They do it for the glory of the country.
So you're essentially asking him to commit treason. So, no, I do stand with LeBron on that.
Do you think LeBron, that cheap shot he took where he pushed someone in the back and then didn't get back on defense to end the game? What do you say? That was vintage LeBron. That was.
But that's the thing where it's like, it's one after the other. It's vintage LeBron where it's like, he gives up, you get your hopes up, the Suns have a chance, and then he just comes back and drops like 54.
I know. That's why I'm fully ready for game five to be vintage, vintage LeBron.
I would not be surprised if LeBron just grabbed the back of his neck

and looked around up in the arena and just pointed up at a fan

and went over to a ref and was like, hey, somebody just hit me

with a disappearing skittle.

Oh, maybe he's going to go with the old.

Remember when laser beam, what were they called?

The laser beam.

The laser key chains. What? Laser pointer.
Laser pointer. Thank you.
It's almost midnight. Laser pointer.
He's definitely going to say laser pointer was in his eye. Yeah.
Laser pointers had a moment. Remember that? And like probably about 15 years ago, people would bring them to games and try to get people.
There was one, I think, at an NFL game. I want to say the Raiders were playing in it and maybe Derek Carr got lasered or it might have been, who's the quarterback from Michigan State that played for them for a while? Connor Cook.
Connor Cook, yeah. I think Connor Cook got lasered.
We haven't seen one of those. LeBron might send, like, Bronny Jr.
That was a great urban legend that a laser pointer could, like, burn your eye out. Don't point that at me.
How about a Brady, too? That happened to him? Yeah. That was probably just somebody with a gun.
April 2019. Oh, shit.
It's a championship game. Someone laser pointed him? See, that's the type of fan stuff.
I'm not condoning that. But if you're thinking water bottle or spit versus laser pointer, go with laser pointer.
Then get kicked out that way. Faces up to a year in jail.

Oh, my God.

Or fine up to $1,000.

Don't do that.

Do not.

It's honestly funny if it's not on their face.

If it's on their nipple, that's hilarious.

It's actually, now that I'm thinking about it, it's super scary.

Yeah, it could be a gun.

Don't do it.

I've thought this all the way through.

Do not laser point anyone ever.

Maybe just a flashlight.

I had a thought. Do you think LeBron sneaky like deep down in places he doesn't talk about uh a little jealous of anthony davis because he actually gets injured yeah probably like he's like damn calls him a drama queen like come on man i really wish it should have been he like whispers into his ear like should have been me i should have been the one who got this I think it's not unlikely.
You know who needs to step up is Caruso. Caruso, he's now, the pendulum has swung on the Caruso pendulum, where now he's overrated.
So he needs to swing back the other way. He needs to have one of those games where he comes out there and silences.
Maybe he has a nice chase down block and increases the value of his old NFTs. He's got that.
Do you think that between lebron and caruso like there is um a little bit of animosity that caruso was like i'm just going to shave my head because i'm going bald and this is the good move to do and lebron's like oh man why did he do that like is he trying to say that i should yes he's sending me a message yeah exactly i think that there might be something to that because like caruso is probably two seasons overdue for that But LeBron was, he's sending me a message. Yeah, exactly.
I think that there might be something to that because Caruso is probably two seasons overdue for that. Yes.
LeBron was, he's like a decade past that point now. Yes.
Alright, well the good news is for all you Laker fans, you can just hop to the Clippers because they're back. 2-2 on the Mavs.
What is going on with Luka in the free throws? I've got two Luka takes. He's 41% from free throw, and he's scoring like 35 points a game.
I've been sitting on this take for a while with Luka in particular because he's not a terrible free throw shooter overall, but he's had a lot of moments where he can't do it, especially late in games, in the playoffs. I think he practices shooting threes way too much.
It's the Steph Curry effect. He doesn't have a mid-range shot.
He can't shoot a 15-footer. From free throw line, he should do a step back.
Yes. He should dribble between his legs.
A fadeaway. Do the hezi to the ref.
Make sure it's under 10 seconds. And then, yeah, a full-on jump shot.
Jump backwards and shoot it. That's take number one.
Take number two on Luka. This is a little spicy.
I think Luka's older than we think he is. I think it's a Danny Almonte Alfonso Soriano thing.
I don't think Luka's 22 years old. I think Luka's probably 27, 28 years old.
You can do anything. If you're a player that's not born in the United States and you come over, there's a lot of paperwork that can get either lost or changed very easily.
And I'm not saying I wouldn't do it. I probably would if I was Luka too.
Hasn't he played in a major league since he was like 16 years old? Yeah, but he was actually 21. Got it.
See? You can take the clock back as long as you want. But he looked very young when he was playing.
Yeah. But even when he was playing against eight-year-olds, he was probably 12.
He's been documented all the way along. I don't hate the theory.
Listen, Big Cat, it's probably wrong, but it's still fun to think about. Yeah.
I agree. Why is Lee Harvey Oswald trending right now? Yeah.
Bad tweets? Yeah. Cancel that ass.
I think because somebody was was getting congress people oh yeah so somebody was getting congress people to like retweet a picture of their uncle that was in the marines because lee harvey oswald was a marine oh my god yeah and so jesus christ lucas said he has a nerve strain by the way oh but that it's not the reason why he played in shooting free throws bad. I like that.
Just throwing. That actually.
That's when we. Acknowledge his nerve issue, but downplay his impact.
When we do that as a troll, when we're like, hey, just a reminder, if Brooks wins, he wins. And if he loses, it's because his knees hurt.
But Luka's doing that for real. Yeah.
Usually hockey players, they do it after the series, and you can say it after the fact. Like, oh, he had a broken leg, so that's why they lost.
They're just doing it in real time. A nerve is something that's completely impossible to prove unless you're the player himself that can feel it.
You just be like, I'm dealing with a nerve issue. I'm dealing with numbness in my shooting hand right now.
Unbelievable. 41%.
That's crazy for someone that's good. He's that good at shooting, he's shooting 41 uh but yeah i i don't know that one that's a weird series because i feel like now it's the clippers were dead and now they're feels like they're gonna win the next two so i've got two competing thoughts in my head in this series one is i want to see the clippers continue to collapse because it just keeps justifying the take of, like, blow this team up, they can't win.
They're frauds. There's still enough time for that in the second round, but yeah.
Right, this would be a fraudulent move of a team to lose like this when you're stacked up. And then the other competing thought, which is I want to see them play the Lakers because, again, we were promised that series a couple years ago.
Right, right. Battle of Battle of LA.
Rage Against the Machine.

The other series that are going out west,

I gotta admit, I only have so many hours that I can stay up, so

Nuggets and

Blazers. I watched

the game, that was the middle of the day.

Saturday? There's been so many

fucking games.

That series is fun, but I don't

have a read on it, so I'm being honest with the

audience. We're Nuggets fans, but also Blazers fans? I think I'm a Blazers fan.
I think we're rooting for the series. Yeah.
I think we're just rooting for the series. I'm rooting for the series to be over with nobody to get hurt so that somebody can move on and then lose to either the Lakers or the Mavericks later.
We will be rooting for whoever wins this series. You know what? I want to see the winner of this series play against the winner of the Utah-Memphis series.
Yes. And then that's another series we don't have to pay that close of attention to.
Yeah. If the Nuggets played the Jazz, it would solve a lot of the problems in my head.
It really would. It would just clear up.
I mean, I just screwed it up again. It might make your problems worse because you're like, I don't know which team is which.
I mean, we talked about this last year, but it stands true. The Nuggets and the Jazz are the same team.
They just are. They just always are.
They both occupy the mountain time zone? Yeah. Right? Are they the only two teams that play in the mountains? You could switch Donovan Mitchell and Jamal Murray teams and I wouldn't know.
Yeah, you could switch a lot. I mean, I do like watching.
Jokic. I like Jokic.
He's the best. He's a thick little boy.
Dude, he is the best. He's also older than you think he is.
Yeah. Jokic, I mean, this series actually has some of the best players to watch in terms of Dame and Jokic.
And then the Jazz, Grizzlies, Jazz are going to beat them. That was fun that the Grizzlies had one game.
Our friend Sam Schwartstein actually did the research. We talked about this in the last show about how it feels like every NBA team has a basketball in their logo.
Yeah. He looked it up, and 20 NBA teams have a basketball in their primary logo to remind you what sport they play.
And the NFL only has three.

Major League Baseball has nine.

And NHL has only four.

So it is an NBA thing where we need to reinforce the branding as much as possible. I saw someone tweet that every team has to have at least one logo,

alternate logo as well.

That has a ball in it.

That's a rule that David Stern created back in the day, RIP, IP.

That's crazy.

He died?

Yeah. RIP.
Moment of silence. I kidding.
I knew he was dead. Double.
That was a, that was, what's Blake's show called? Double cross. Double cross.
I double crossed your asses. There was a.
I thought I didn't know David Stern was dead. It's always funny whenever we say that David Stern is running the NBA.
It'll be like a new batch of five people that have never listened to this podcast before. They guys don't know who runs? We know it's LeBron.
There's nothing funnier than a shockingly short moment of silence. Yes.
I also, I am, you know, stupid things make me laugh, puke videos, whatnot, but when someone yells something super inappropriate during a moment of silence, it usually makes me laugh. I'm sorry.
It just does. I apologize in advance.
Do you want to do some NHL talk before we do that, though? Yeah. Ever had one of those days when it's just too cold to keep working? Nah, neither has Ariat.
Ariat work jackets and boots are packed with all the cold-stopping waterproof protection you need to get the job done under any conditions so you can take any job out there and always deliver. Check out Ariat in your local workwear retailer or visit Ariat.com slash work to get 10% off your first order when you sign up for email.
And weather whatever in Ariat Work Gear. Hank, what are you getting, Jake, for Father's Day? Nothing.
Good one. So funny.

That's a good question.

Jake, we're going to talk about your viral video soon.

You ready for it?

Yeah.

I'm always ready for it.

Let's talk some puck.

Let's talk some puck.

We did a return of the Big Mad for our Leaf fan AWLs. The Leafs are maybe the saddest franchise ever.
It's tough. Right now, Big Mad is trending in Toronto.
Oh. That's how they are.
It's been 6,251 days since the Maple Leafs have won a playoff series. They haven't won a playoff series since 2004.
They haven't won a Stanley Cup since 1967. But it's actually way worse than that because the way they lose playoff series are so stupendously, stupefying bad that it's incomprehensible.
They had 11 years so it's 17 years since they've won a playoff series. The first 11 years, they just didn't make the playoffs except for once.
And that one time they made the playoffs was 2013 when they gave up a 4-1 lead in the third period with 10 minutes left in Game 7, including two goals when the Bruins pulled their goalie in under two minutes to go. That's insane.
Then in 2017, they were up 2-1 in a series against the Capitals. They lost in six games.
2018, they lost in seven games. 2019, they lost in seven games.
And then tonight, they lost up 3-1 against a team that I think Leaf fans like. They hate more than any other team the Canadiens they were up 3-1 in the series they go to game 7 and there's actually nothing worse than a no show in game 7 like losing in game 7 I know that that's bad in 2013 when they lost the way they lost I would contend that a no show the way they lost tonight where you like get a fucking goal with 30 seconds left to just have something on the score sheet, that hurts so much worse.
And it's not like the Leafs have been a terrible team this whole time either, because they've been good. The Leafs in the late 90s, early 2000s had a lot of really good players, and they were so fun to watch.
That was like the Ty Domi team, when he would just beat people up that fell into the penalty box. He would fight everybody on the ice.
You had, I think, Darcy Tucker was on that team. You had Matt Sundin.
They've had a lot of really good players come through Toronto, and you always think of them as being one of the premier franchises just because they've got their Toronto's team. The iconic blue sweater is are, and they actually kind of got screwed by the strike because they had a really good team.
I think that's when they won their last playoff series was the year before the strike. They had a good team that they were building on.
They got fucked by the strike and then they just haven't done anything at all since then. It's tough.
And our good friend, Paul Mistenet, said that when they were up 3-1 in this series, he would get himself circumcised. Yeah, he's uncircumcised.
His dick got sweatered, and he will circumcise himself or pay for somebody to circumcise him if they were to lose that series. Turns out they lost the series.
Hot seat, Paul Mistenet's foreskin. Circumcised.
Yeah. He's got to get circumcised.
And I looked it up, actually. You have to wait 42 days before having sex after you get circumcised yeah he's got to get circumcised and i i looked it up actually you have to you have to wait 42 days before having sex after you get circumcised yikes yeah and then new nickname jizz nasty oh but you can't jizz if you're circumcised uncircumcised no you don't come oh if you're yeah if the foreskin just bottles it in resor.
Yeah. Just yeah.
It goes back into your balls. All right.
So we got big mad tweets. I'm going to read some of the best.
These are from Leaf fans. We asked them to write in.
We do feel bad for him, but misery is the best content. So this one's from Luca.
He said, I want to cut my face off while getting punched in the groin multiple times. There was a theme, too, that people were trying to relate it to our own misery.
I didn't need that, but a couple of them were like Ben Smith said, it's like being a Packers fan, but our offense turns into the Bears come playoff time. Yeah, that's actually a pretty good take, though.
Yeah. That makes sense.
Mikey said, please don't talk about us on the show. I just threw up.
It's so bad. I'm going to chain smoke darts and I hate cigs.
Everything's a fucking joke. It's like watching a movie where you know the ending and it sucks, but you watch it every year.
Fuck, fuck, fuck. This is actually a pretty good spin zone by the Leafs.
So the Leafs texted a statement to their fans after the game saying, Leafs Nation, this isn't where we want to say goodbye. In our five-month unprecedented journey, the vision was clear.
We fell short. But we would like to thank the 550 healthcare workers who represent the true heroes of today.
And we can't wait to see Scotiabank Arena back. Did JJ Watt write that? Yeah, so they had a bunch of first responders, nurses, paramedics come out, and they were in attendance tonight.

So another choking event.

Yeah.

One other spin zone is that because there's still a lot of COVID restrictions

in Canada, they didn't have the giant watch party in the center of town.

There's no video of all the Leafs fans getting their heart broken.

Yeah, that's good.

Good point.

Liam wrote, as Leafs fans, we should collectively choose one shit coin to pump and pull our earnings to buy the team we fire everybody and hire a shaman as a coach no need for hockey knowledge to coach the leafs just enough good juju to balance out the curse uh i don't know how to say this guy's name i'd rather drag my balls through a mile of broken glass and vinegar than watch this team cock up the playoffs again. I like that.
Cock up the playoffs. It's like taking 100 kicks to the dick over and over and over again.
This guy did the same thing where Lucy decided to bring the Bears into this. I don't know why.
It's like if the Bears got a top 10 quarterback and won the division and was a top 5 team in the league with a real chance to win the Super Bowl, but then the double doink happens,

but then you take that feeling and make it every year, except this year it was against the Packers.

Yikes.

This one came from Kyle Lowry's season.

He said, it's like losing table tennis matches to the same guy over and over again

after they've said they're the best in the office.

That's tough.

This guy, Tyler Rubin. Shout tough this guy tyler rubin shout out

this guy i'm a leafs and bangles fan in the last 15 years they've had 15 chances to move on to the

next round they've lost all 15 that's insane that's on you for electing to become a i i hope

that you live in cincinnati and that you adopted the maple leafs not the other way around because

adopting the bangles as your nfl team i guess the jerseys are kind of cool, so I can see that. But you can pull the escape hatch on that.
You can abandon the Cincinnati Bengals franchise and nobody would blink twice. Except now, no, actually no, they got Joe Burrow.
Yeah, All Systems Joe. All right, so I have a couple last ones.
I like these ones. Someone just distinctly said, Nicholas said, I wish I'd got COVID and died so I didn't have to watch that.
That just plays there. Mark says, we're a disgrace to the sport of hockey.
I'll never be able to watch this team the same. This was humiliating.
I'm a loser. My parents are losers.
My dog is so dumb because we all support the Leafs. No questions at this time.
I just like being like, yeah, my dog's an idiot too. I like this one because it really paints a picture we've all been there.
Chain smoking cigarettes on my deck alone. Sick of being embarrassed and let down year after year.
Wondering if it'll ever change. Because you've been just hanging out on your porch, smoking, refreshing Twitter, hoping that something will change.
i think we've all been in that position that i always go back to like the the moment the day after a really bad loss it's that next morning that's the killer when you wake up and you have that one moment where you just like soak it all in and you're like god damn it i wish i could turn back time and that's just all Toronto tomorrow. The last one I have was Jacqueezy Jacobs said,

I've been a Leaf fan for 47 years.

I'm clinically obese and I live with 17 possums

that I found in the sewer on my street.

Go Seattle.

I like that.

I just like that.

Because I actually kind of believe him.

In a weird way, I think that guy is living with possums

and just hating his life because he's a Leaf fan.

Not because he's living with 17 possums.

No, at least you got friends. Yeah.
And then the Canadians add just such a terrible element for them. Would you rather lose to the Flyers or the Canadians if you're the Maple Leafs? I think the Flyers.
I think the Canadians makes it so much worse. So, so much worse.
Because those are like the two hockey cities you think of when you think of Canada hockey cities. What other franchise would you compare the Maple Leafs to? In another sport? I was going through...
The Cubs before 2016. The Cubs weren't the lovable losers.
They got close a few times. The Cowboys.
I was going to say, the Cowboys in another 20 years would be the least. They have to go another 20 years of just never doing anything, never getting back to a Super Bowl.
But the crazy thing is it would actually take like 30 more years. Yeah, no.
Of the Cowboys not winning anything. But that would be the best analogy.
Well, they don't exist anymore. Whatever the R words, whatever the fuck.
Yeah, the football team. The no logos.
The football team. But the Cowboys I think have the element of...
We're reigning champions at the NC Beast they're one of the the teams that you think of when you think of football like you're the least are one of the teams you think of when you think of hockey they have historical relevance but it's all in the past and so i yeah the cowboys would be the team if the cowboys if we're if we're sitting here 2045 and the cowboys haven't gone back to a they would be the Maple Leafs. So I'll put it into this type of perspective.
It would be like the New England Patriots if they didn't win a playoff game until 2075. Well, no.
The Leafs won some playoff games in there, but they haven't won one in 17 years. But I'm talking about series.
Yeah. Okay.
Maybe the New England Patriots won like two playoff series and the year is 2075. Yeah.
At that point, they would become the football equivalent of the Maple Leafs. The Pirates.
It's brutal. Could you imagine thinking like if you're 20 years old in 1967 and you're like, this is fucking sick.
Yeah. We're so awesome.
You think they had like that kid that brings the signs to every parade in Boston? They had one of those in Toronto. He's like, my life is fucking sick yeah we're so awesome you think they had like that kid that brings the signs to every every parade in boston they want to had one of those in toronto he's like my life is fucking set yeah they won a million stanley cups in like before the 50s but they won a stanley cup in 62 63 64 and 67 and then after that you're like yeah we're the fucking shit we're net we're always going to be the leafs.
And they just have been so, so, so bad ever since.

Have they been back to the Stanley Cup?

I don't think so.

I don't think they've been back to the Stanley Cup.

It's also just they're really creative with the ways that they lose these series too.

Yeah, I mean, losing in seven games every time is you got to really tip your hat to them.

The Bruins won a few years ago when they blew the 3-1 lead. 4-1.
Yeah, it's insane. Sorry.
So other hockey. The Bruins and Islanders played.
That might have been the best playoff hockey game of these playoffs because that was like wall-to-wall intense. The best part, and I know it's cliche because everyone says,

oh, playoff hockey's incredible.

When you get to overtime and you go like an extended period of time,

10 minutes without a whistle or a stop, that is the best.

It's incredible.

The referees just swallow their whistles.

You just up and down and up and down.

You have to try to murder somebody in overtime to get a penalty.

Yes.

Or they'll have to call the obvious delay of game if you just hit the puck over the glass. But besides that, they will not call a penalty in overtime.
And you know the guys are just exhausted out there. I was shocked.
I feel like we haven't gotten a good Marchand shorthanded goal recently, have we? No, but he's been doing great in the playoffs. He hasn't licked anybody.
Yeah, but he's had a lot of goals, had an overtime goal. I would like to see him licking people.
Why isn't he licking people anymore? I don't know. He's too focused on winning.
Luis Suarez, remember him? He stopped biting people. I haven't heard from him since.
The abs are just awesome. I feel like they're going to win it all.
The South is back. They're going to go all the way.
Nathan McKinnon looks like when you take a player in NHL and just boost all their ratings to 99, that's kind of how he looks like when he plays. He's just so much bigger and just goes so much faster than everyone else.
Than everyone, yeah. You're cheating.
The slider dorks are mad about Nathan McKinnon. It's embarrassing to lose 7-1 in the playoffs, in the second round of the playoffs.
Yeah, it's so hard to do, I feel like. You just, like, incredible.
And, yeah, so we'll probably have Whitney on, I think maybe on Sunday for next Monday, we'll talk some more hockey. But they have been great.
The playoffs have been great. The Islanders Bruins series is going to tear Barstool apart.

Stu Feiner, our good friend, who I think I've decided,

I think we do need to get Stu back on the pod this summer.

Yes.

I think there's enough.

We need to go have a day at Stu's house.

We're going to do Wiffle Ball.

Yeah, we're going to have a Wiffle Ball.

We're going to have a Wiffle Ball tournament.

Jake, how are you at Wiffle Ball?

I think I'm decent.

I don't know. I've been playing a lot.
Hank is going going to be so excited. Is Hank really good? Yeah.
He's the best in the office. He won the 27th championship.
Best one here. With your team? Yeah.
It was an individual award. It was a three-man team.
Shook Knights. Awesome.
Actually, maybe Jake and Hank will be on the same team for our Wiffle Ball tournament. Sure.
Yeah. Okay.
Great. That would be awesome.
Jake, do you want to talk about your viral video now, or do you want to wait? Whatever you guys want. It's your show.
Thank you for the permission to talk about it whenever we want. Let's talk about it now.
All right. Let's talk about it now.
So Jake went viral on Friday because it turns out he is in the video that we've all seen making its way around the internet. You are the face of mansplaining.
Where you were leaning over talking to a girl in a bar. She's very much rolling her eyes at the conversation.
Disgusted. Disgusted with whatever it is that this young gentleman is saying to her.
Hanging on to every word but just gets more and more disappointed as the words continue to come out. And he's wearing a suit in a bar.
And he looks a lot like our darling Jake. And this young lady went to Syracuse, and she said, I'm sorry, Jake, when she tweeted out the video.
What? Could that have been you? I'm here. I'm a facts first person.
Facts are it's not me. We have proof from the source itself it's not me.
But you guys can whatever you want the memes were great you guys blew up my phone on vacation yeah jake was on a boat with his friends that's fucked up guys and well you vacation shamed on thursday so absolutely never forget that absolutely how many missed text messages did you have so i put my phone away we're on a boat from nine to one i put it away and in 30 minutes 72 texts from you guys One of my friends said jake you should probably check your phone yeah and i told you guys earlier that morning i'm not gonna have my phone yeah yeah it was has justine landed but for jake we're all waiting for you to get back we thought that you were coming up with your story like getting your story together which i know that you did contact the young lady i don't know if you had deleted any of those dms if Maybe you were pressuring her to say that it wasn't you. No.
So it was another Jake who went to Syracuse who looked like you and also wears suits at bars. And has been nowhere to be found.
Correct. This is like when OJ was trying to find the killer.
The other Jake. I wasn't really a suit at a bar person.
I think I did it like once I think you've probably Shown up to bars wearing suits Because you're coming from another suit event Right Maybe you were calling a game The memes were great If you haven't seen it Hank will retweet a bunch of them Tomorrow morning for you Just to to make sure. It was not me, but it could be.
Where were you that night? I don't know what the night was. What bar was it? I couldn't tell.
Honestly. That was smart of you to answer it that way.
If you were to put a percentage on it that it is not you, what would that be? 100%. It can't be 100%, Jake, because you're not sure about it.
You don't know about it you know where you don't know where that bar is we don't know who this person is have you jake okay cross-examination jake uh have you ever consumed more than six beers or alcoholic drinks in an hour no pussy yeah all right all right but have you ever been intoxicated in a bar yes have you ever talked to a girl at a bar yeah so is there at all a possibility that at some point in your life you would have talked to a girl in a bar while you were intoxicated yes okay however if it was a t-shirt i was telling you guys this earlier i would have been like trying to convince myself maybe it is me but the suit factor i know for a fact there was one time i wore a suit in four years at a bar at college it was a t-shirt maybe it could have been me at a time maybe i really got drunk but the suit factor really made me sure it was not me what about the fact that she said that it was jake okay Syracuse is a big school. Jake's a popular name.
How many Jakes? Short haircut. The haircut was crazy.
Crazy. Crazy.
It was wild. Crazy.
Wild. Yeah.
Looked exactly like you. Exactly.
Alright, well we'll get to the bottom of it. We appreciate you being a good...
No, no, we'll get to the bottom of it. If we have to have her on the show, we'll have her on the show.
Okay. This poor kid, though, you don't want him to get exposed.
Jake? You're talking about Jake now? Got it. We wouldn't want Jake to get excited.
He has 4 million views. No matter what, I guess he can't locate.
I was so fucked up that she was like, I'll never reveal what was said. Sorry, Jake.
You kind of just blew that one wide open. Our sweet darling Jake.
I don't't know Maybe it's a couple of alums in cahoots Oh, interesting I don't know Alright, well we'll get to the bottom of it You know what we should do? We should have Jake reenact that video With somebody here in the office And just see how it matches up How the angles match up I have a feeling that Billy's spending a lot of time on this video. He already told me he was analyzing the angle of your ears.
Yeah. Okay.
We'll find out. We found out.
We will find out. We will find out.
Alright, let's get to Who's Back of the Week. We're going to do Who's Back of the Week and Hot Seat Cool Throne because we're combining Monday and Tuesday Monday and Wednesday's show.
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All right, back to part of my take. Okay, Hank, who's back of the week? My who's back of the week is Urban Meyer.
Oh, yeah. Wrestling, so it was whatever, AE Wrestling, Chris Jericho.
They were in Jacksonville in the, I guess, where Jaguars practice or whatever. And in the, I don't know, what do you call it, a bit of work? They run into Urban Meyer's office.
He and another coach are in there. Charlie Strong.
They start throwing footballs at him. The wrestlers take a laptop, smash it over another wrestler's head, which looked like it hurt a lot.
I know it's like wrestling is fake, but I watch that video a lot of times. That dude got absolutely smoked.
Urban Meyer handed him the laptop to then get smashed. And then afterwards, they asked him about it, and he was like, I don't remember what you're talking about.
I had a brain aneurysm. Did he report the assault to the proper authorities? He did.
He said, I'm sorry that we were in this situation. He forwarded the report to all the appropriate authorities that he was obligated to do under law.
I was thinking about it because I was like, why would Urban Meyer open himself up to the jokes that are going to get made from this?

Which I made many of them.

And then I remembered that

Tony Khan, Shad Khan's son,

he owns that wrestling league.

So he kind of, Urban Meyer

might have to be in every

wrestling promo going forward.

It was a good one. Yeah, it was.

He's the director of analytics now for the Jaguars.

It would have been very funny if Cam Newton had just shown up, taken the laptop, and then run out the door with it. Yeah, that would have been great.
Wink and a nod. Yes.
And Urban would have been like, oh, you can't be on the team anymore. I'm also just a huge fan of the narrative that he brought in Tebow just to take off heat off Trevor Lawrence.
You like that narrative? I actually kind of like that narrative, too. It's a great one.
Because it has worked. Right.
But what's also going to happen is Tebow is just going to be too much of a natural leader and take all the heat, including from the players, off Trevor Lawrence. It's a classic Marcus Smart.
Do you want him on your team? Yeah. Do you want a guy who's such a natural leader like Tim Tebow on your team if you're trying to groom a younger guy to take that spot i just love every time they show tim tebow like flexing while trying to catch a football and they're like look at how jack tebow is he tebow has muscles that aren't conducive to playing football anymore no no they don't i don't know if he can move other than in a robotic fashion at this point no he's just he's just been getting swole for the last like three years right.
Baseball's been a hobby for him. He's just been in the gym.
I've always loved the old swinging leg press video from back in the day. That looked like the worst exercise you could ever do for your legs.
Yes. Well, Tim Tebow's mindset is there's not a problem in the world that can't be solved with a hard workout.
Yes. Working harder than the other guy.
There was that story, did you see the story about Tim Tebow at summer camp? No. When he was like, I don't know, 12 years old, they had a 55-pound barbell that the guys were doing curls on, and it was a contest to see who could do the most curls with this barbell.
And I think the guy that was in first was like, I don't know, 40 or 50 reps, and then Tebow got up there and did like 300 reps, and then he couldn't move his arms for three days afterwards, which is like the perfect Tim Tebow story. So perfect.
I will work out so hard and ruin my body so hard that you're going to have no choice but to respect me for it, even if it makes me functionally unathletic. Yeah, you could have stopped at 70.
Yeah. Instead, you went to 300.
All right, is that it? My other who's back is jake paul okay oh yeah he's fighting uh 39 year old tyrone woodley former ufc fighter oh but jake paul came out as the early favorite too so he's doing it so fucking masterfully where he just keeps on like upping it a little bit but it's also guys that he can beat right like this guy's his last three fights, but I've already seen videos of fights he won and knock guys out where it's like, oh, this guy looks fucking sick. Right.
But that was when he was in his prime. He's 39 now.
All right. Is that it? I have more, but I'm saving them for Hot Seed Cool Throne.
Hot Seed Cool Throne. Yeah, nice job.
That's smart. That's smart.
My Who's Back of the Week is gaming the system via quote tweets and making things that you want to trend, trend online. So you've seen so many of these in the last two or three weeks.
R.I.P. Tim Allen.
Who's the person that you think of when you see this logo? Yes. Like you saw with Muggsy Bogues.
Now every brand is doing it with their logo. And it's just the easiest way in the world to make one specific thing trend that you want to.
I love it. We should do that with jake where it's like who's the who's the first person you think of when you see this picture and it's the guy talking to the girl at the bar but it's really easy like every single sports media organization if you haven't gotten on board this train yet like what are you even paying your social media team to do yeah it's true just figure it out and it's not even they're just throwing up like JPEGs of the old logo, like job well done.
Yeah. Done for the day.
All right, my who's back is Vanilla Ice. Did you guys see his Memorial Day post? It was beautiful.
He said, happy Memorial Day. Happy because we have the freedom to have a backyard cookout.
Sports and sharing smiles. Thanks to the soldiers.
Hashtag happy Memorial Day. And then it was a picture of Michelangelo.
No. Leonardo.
What weapon? That was close. What weapon does he have? He's blue.
Leonardo. Bubba, what color is Raphael? With an American flag draped over his shoulder looking like a badass.
I love it. And Vanilla Ice, I don't know how often he tweets.
I don't follow him. I'm going to start following him, actually.
That's how you do it. Just show up.
If you're a celebrity who was hot for 15 minutes and you haven't been heard from for 20 years, show up every now and then. Frankie Muniz does it well.
Show up every now and then with a hilarious tweet and people are like, damn, that was awesome.

I just like any time you can incorporate an old animation into whatever new movement is going on that day.

You see that happen a lot.

There's usually some jacked up Garfield.

Yes.

People have started to sexualize Garfield online.

But yeah, any throwback to the Ninja Turtles is a winner in my book.

Yes.

Jake, do you have a who's back of the week?

I do. It is full planes.
There weren't many positives over the last 18 months. Yes.
One of them was the middle seat being open. That is no longer the case.
I feel like you're back into work for the Twitter. Yeah.
People are complaining a lot. Dick Vitale.
Shout out to Dick. Right.
Wait, are you saying it's a good thing that the middle seats are filled? No, I'm just saying it's back. I said it was a good thing when it was.
Yeah, it was. It was a very good thing.
Agreed. I thought your who's back was going to be talking to girls at bars.
But that's also back. Wouldn't you agree? Yeah, of course.
Plenty of opportunities for the fellow Jakes out there. Maybe who go to Syracuse.
I guess it's the summer now, but when the fall kicks back in. That's what you need to do, Jake.
You need to do like Eminem when he had that. What was that music video where it was all the Eminem? Real Slim Shady.
Yeah. You need to just get all the Jakes you can find and pack a bar with them.
Well, Jake's at Syracuse this fall. Send us your videos.
Talking to girls at the bar. Yeah, you just got to muddy the waters.
Lucy's, Harry's, DJ's. Yeah, you muddy the water.
Does Syracuse have a Jake problem? Possibly. So, yeah, full planes are back, but I'm telling you, you're not going to be able to drink on a plane.
If things keep going the same way that they've been going, you see the exact same thing happening on planes that you see at NBA playoff games. People have forgotten how to handle themselves on a plane.
Like a flight attendant, she got her teeth knocked out the other day in that video. Yeah, so that's what I'm saying.
Like, you can't buy hard liquor on a plane anymore. Southwest said, you guys lost all your drinking privileges.
You can't handle it. We're taking away the booze in the air.
Figure it out, guys. Damn.
All right. Let's do Hot Seat Cool Throne, shall we? Hot Seat Cool Throne brought to you by our friends at...
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All right, back to part of my take. Hot seat, cool-throw, and Hank.
My hot seat is you, Big Cat. I've been seeing a lot of videos of giant animals.
There was the video of the elephant with the huge dick. Which I would punch.
There was the jacked kangaroo video. Again, not worried.
Did you see him? He was spazzing. He was huge.
He was such a spaz. He was muscle bat.
He was the Tim Tebow of animals. He could not throw a punch.
Punch him in the nose. So what? He's vascular.
Big deal. Did you see the giant moose? That's kind of an old one, but I saw that recirculating as well.
It does feel like people are trying to prove that I can't beat these animals, but again, show me an animal. I'll find its windpipe.
I'll snap it in half. I mean, the kangaroos.
Dude, the kangaroo is... The only thing that scared me was the elephant, because you could punch that elephant in the dick and he might like it you know what i mean so i that one i'll give 50 50 the kangaroo was a bitch he was a spaz he was just losing his mind oh i i put that thing in a fucking headlock and he's not going anywhere interesting all right and then my uh My cool throw is lacrosse yeah sport of the future national championship today awesome i was driving so i didn't get to catch it i watched but i heard it was must watch one minus the 20 minute virginia back-to-back champs oh wow dynasty dynasty yeah and and maryland had a chance to to tie the game uh with like 10 seconds left they won a face-off off of they were they scored a goal to go down by one.
They won the face-off. The guy ran down.
He didn't go low to high. You got to go low to high until you die.
You got to go top cheddar. Yeah.
So it was an awesome game, though. I feel like this happens every Memorial Day.
We just need more Memorial Days. That's the only way that lacrosse can take off because every Memorial Day I'm like, damn, lacrosse is awesome.
And then I forget about it until the next Memorial Day. We love lacrosse, though.
It is the sport of the future. And the PLL is starting up.
Water Dogs. We'll get Paul Rabel back on.
That's it. That's it? Well, I had Jake Cutler on there too, but I don't know.
Why? I was unsure. Vaccines? He's asking for half of Chris and Cavallari's Uncommon James brain in the divorce love it we're gonna get jay back on the show and we'll we'll help him uh get that going divorced yeah but yeah i thought that was kind of a power move usually here it is coming from the other side it's called negotiating yeah yeah listen it just tells me that he made a good decision when he married he married a successful woman art of the deal you got to anchor the negotiation and then you work back from it and then you end up i don't know a quarter of uncommon james boom um my hot seat is everyone that will never be born there was an article in bloomberg today saying spare a thought for the billions of people who will never exist and the article was just about how population growth is slowing and so therefore we're going to miss out on a bunch of people who will never be born because population isn't growing anymore.
Damn. So that's tough.
But Spin Zone, that's one less potential Kony or Hitler out there that's ever going to be born. It is sad, though.
You've got to take the good with the bad. Every second that you're not fucking, you're murdering millions of people over the next thousand years.
I'm doing my part. Unfortunately, I'm not.
Yeah. But yeah, I thought that was, that's a great premise of an article.
I do like that. That's just, that's a classic case of you had, you got really high and had a thought.
Yeah. And you're like, this is going to go.
Or you had to write something. You had a deadline.
So here you go. What about everyone who's not going to be born? My cool throne is Germany because the NFL is going to try to play games in Germany.
It's the fastest-growing market out there, so I don't know if they're going to play the Mexico game in Germany or the England game that's supposed to be in Mexico in Germany. But the bottom line is in 2022 uh I think the NFL is going to have like an early morning game in Germany whoa to grow that brand that okay I I don't know how I feel about it because like I feel like I've just gotten the vibe of what the British field looks like like I can spot British grass right now on TV I don't know what the german soccer field it's long like is it too long it's too long yeah so germany um and it's wet it's always wet and their grass is always yeah yeah in england it's super wet super wet because they play at like wimbley field and they don't know how to water it like an nfl team yeah or it just rains a lot yeah but yeah it's always wet all right my seat is narcissists.
So I'm going to read something for you guys. You tell me who wrote this.
Okay. Okay.
For those of you who have had exposure to one talking about narcissists, this will take all of your seemingly confusing and emotionally draining experiences and create a huge aha moment. And for those of you who haven't, you will want to know what to look for.
Narcissistic abuse is no joke and one of the most difficult emotional experiences to regain your confidence and clarity from. But I always say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger and smarter.
Who wrote that?

LeBron.

Cam Newton.

That was written.

Johnny Bananas.

By one.

Confucius.

Wait.

Danica Patrick.

Oh, interesting.

Interesting.

Who's she talking about?

I don't know, BFT. I have no idea.
But she did an interview with a doctor in the field of narcissism talking about her past experiences dating someone who had narcissistic abuse. Counterpoint.
Who did she date? If you were an alleged quarterback of the Green Bay Packers Would you not feel that your narcissism was At least a little bit justified? So he's allowed to be a narcissist That's a fine line Because if you are Let's say you are the greatest athlete To ever walk the face of the earth Wouldn't it be unhealthy unhealthy to not think of yourself in the highest terms possible campaign? Just as far as I know is a really good teammate. Okay.
So I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah.
I just thought that was an interesting quote. That's all.
I also want to do something. And I'm going to do this every week until it comes true.
I'm going to predict that this is the week that Aaron Rogers gets traded. Okay.
So, and if it doesn't happen this week, I will do it next week, and give me credit when that happens. Have we got an update on, is he still in Hawaii right now with Miles Teller? Miles Teller got punched in the face.
Yeah. You see that? Probably by Aaron Rodgers.
Yeah. They spent too much time.
They bound to break up. That was a crazy story.
Some guy came up to him and was like, you owe me money from your wedding and fought him at a bar. How about Aaron Rodgers' top bun? We haven't had a real conversation about that.
I think he's just living his best life. I love it for him.
It's like when Ryan from The Office came back from Thailand and he bleached his hair. We're dealing with that's like we're dealing with Hawaii Aaron Rodgers yes yes Aloha Aaron yes um all right my cool throne is uh America because Pulisic won a Champions League yeah congratulations from America that's our first step it's never been done an American has never won a Champions League we won it all by ourselves next stop world cup well next stop qualifying for the world cup i'm skipping past that i have a feeling that all these building blocks that we've got in place at some point in the next 10 years the u.s men's national team is going to qualify for world cup there we go i'm feeling it i like that and if they don't it's hilarious and so either, weren't we going to have somebody? Wasn't like, was Dest on Man City? Am I making that up? No, he was on another team.
Oh, he was on like Real Madrid or something like that. Something like that.
Who cares? One of those other Super League teams. But we won it all.
And you have to just admit that. If you're a fan of European soccer, you've got to admit that America has taken over.
The best player in the world. Played on the best team in the world.
I would say that if you win UEFA Champions League,

that's actually the best team in the world, right?

Because you would think that the best club team could beat any national team.

Yes.

So the best player on the best club team is American.

Therefore, the USA is the best soccer country in the entire world.

Yes.

Did you see that guy?

Oh, fuck.

What is his name?

Did the Swans get bumped?

Yeah, they did. I thought that was a good thing no bumped down they stayed down um who's the guy fuck i gotta find his name he had won like he's basically the robert ori of soccer right now he won um like he was on the leicester city team then he was was on Chelsea.
He won a World Cup with France.

He won the Europa League last year.

He won the Champions League this year.

And he's a short king.

He's 5'6".

Who would that be?

I don't know.

I don't know.

Dude from France.

Some little guy.

Yeah, some little guy.

Napoleon.

Yes.

That's exactly right.

Got it.

That is exactly right.

All right.

Let's do one quick talking tennis, and then we have a Monday reading to end the show. Naomi Osaka has withdrawn from the French Open because the media is a bunch of fucking jerks.
My girl. No, but seriously, what the fuck? This was the weirdest story.
So the way I read it was she said that she uncomfortable uh doing the media stuff because she deals with anxiety she deals with like social anxiety and depression and yeah and all that stuff and so she tried to communicate that the french open people were like we're not going to tolerate this you have to do your requisite media interviews and so then she's like i'm just going to bow out then because they were going to make her you're not allowed to be the French Open unless you deal with the media. The media interviews.
And so then she's like, I'm just going to bow out then. Because they were going to make her...
You're not allowed to compete in the French Open unless you deal with the media. The media should get suspended.
They should. They should get suspended.
Do you have one of the best players in the world not playing in one of the best tournaments because of the media? We stand with Naomi. We did two things this show.
We disavowed water bottle throwers and we stood with Naomi. And then the French tennis french tennis president issued a statement and then i bet that guy's fucking cool yeah then he declined to answer questions to the media afterwards which is perfect you know what what fucking loser what's the biggest sponsor of the french open is it rolex rolex i'm going to boycott rolex yep same i'm not i will not buy mike cornellian i was gonna buy hank a rolex watch and i was gonna buy buy two.
I was going to match it for the entire control room. I was going to buy them all Rolexes.
But due to their ongoing sponsorship of the French Open, I can no longer in good conscience give my money to Rolex. Let's go down the list.
What are the other ones, Jake? Hennessy. Boycott, none for you.
I'll boycott them. Is Hennessy bottled by Coors Light? No, I don't think so.
So then boycott Hennessy. Done.
BMW? Out. Tropicana, you said? Tropicana.
I'm not ready to give up orange juice. No juice.
No juice for me. That's where I draw the line.
Perrier? Yeah, boycotted. What is that? Wilson? Lacoste.
Lacoste, yep, boycotted.

I will be buying the...

Emirates.

Out.

Emirates, yeah.

I'm not going to fly to...

Perrier.

Perrier, out.

Wilson, out.

MasterCard.

Out.

Magnum.

Magnum.

Magnum condoms, out.

Easy.

That's an easy one.

I will no longer be purchasing Magnum condoms.

What's Lavazza?

I think it's a drink.

I hate it.

Okay, this is really easy for me to boycott all these things yep congratulations to us tennis i'm gonna boycott tennis in general anyone who plays it wimbledon what about table tennis no i know i love that sport i love watching that boycott that um i'll be back for wimbledon possibly the wrongest person on the internet consistently is a guy named Rob Parker. If you don't know Rob Parker, you might remember him from such hits as Is Robert Griffin Black Enough? He used to be on ESPN, then he got fired, then he was out of budget.
He's probably been fired like nine times. He wrote a take on D-E-A-D, bleep, bleep, bleep, spin.com.
He said, uh, Naomi Osaka is wrong. Her boycott of the media at the French open is misguided and worse.
It's downright unprofessional. If this tennis superstar is seriously dealing with a mental health issue, as she announced on social media, she should have bowed out gracefully from the event and taken time for herself.
But to claim she can do do everything else but she can't talk to the media is bogus bravo to the four grand slam tournaments who issued osaka both a fine and a stern warning for her behavior he's just a big fan of the tournaments banding together i love it why does she do we really need to like have these interviews where a tennis player would be like my opponent played really well and i'm just to advance. Okay, I was thinking about it.
Yes, I think that, well, I stand with Naomi. I want to just throw that out there.
Blanket. I've already boycotted all those places.
Whenever someone says, do we need these interviews? I just think of Allen Iverson practice. Like, we would never have that.
That one got taken out of context, though. Practice.
Or what about... The thing is, that interview, he was talking about his best friend had just died.
Yeah. And he was putting it all in perspective.
He's like, my best friend's died, blah, blah, blah. But we're talking about practice.
Everyone took it out of context. What about John Chaney trying to choke John Calipari? Never john calipari never would have you should have yeah what about not a dime back jim calhoun jim calhoun actually should just step in for anyone who has social anxiety and do their like if this is the perfect solution you should have a osaka should just hire jim calhoun to do all of her interviews for him and then we all win i think then we have jim Calhoun giving press conferences and being mad at a bunch of French people.
Riley Curry. Yeah.
Riley Curry. Boom.
I do think that you should be able to nominate a champion that steps in and handles the media for you. That should be allowed.
Yeah. That'll be like your official spokesperson.
Have Marshawn Lynch go out there and just be like, I'm just here so Naomi doesn't get fined. Yeah.
What about LeBron? If we didn't have LeBron, we wouldn't have had last year when he said that 35-year-old LeBron could beat 27-year-old LeBron one-on-one. Or the basically broken hand.
He would have never known about his pretty much broken wrist. Yeah, pretty much.
Or the episode when he kind of carried his purse and walked away. Yeah, with his little short shorts.
Yeah. These are all things that we need.
All right, let's finish up. We're going to get right back to the morning.

I'm struggling.

Let me tell you.

1229.

I am struggling.

I'm an exhausted person in general.

I think I'm, unfortunately, I'm just an always tired guy now.

And people were shocked today because I was talking about how I was going to take an afternoon nap.

You couldn't take a nap with the amount of coffee you say you drink.

I could drink five cups of coffee,

and I'd fall asleep two seconds later if I have to,

if I'm tired enough.

I did an all-time old-person move on Sunday night.

I left the bar at 11.30.

Oh, it's the best.

I left the bar at 11.30 because I wanted to go home

and watch Mare of Easttown On Demand before I fell asleep.

And I still fell asleep during it.

Leaving early is the best. Leaving early so I can catch up on a program.
It's the best. It's the best.
Um, all right. Where dad gets his pair of air monarchs.
Yeah, it's the best. All right.
Here's the, uh, Monday reading again. It might be fake, but it's good.
So it is titled, uh, my husband won't take his mask off even for sex. So here we go.
I've been married to a great guy for five and a half years he's handsome sexy funny and kind wow way to brag it's true that he's always been a little prissy about illnesses but I never thought it was a real problem however during the pandemic his terror about getting sick has reached new levels for the last year year, he's refused to take off his face mask, even when we are at home, just the two of us. This is true even now that he is fully vaccinated for the virus.
He wears it to sleep. Come on.
To do most of his bathroom activities, and yes, even during lovemaking. To eat, he pulls it up to expose his mouth and then quickly pulls it back down between bites while he does not insist that i do the same i can tell it bothers him that i do not especially because i have now started going maskless outside per the cdc guidelines and plan on restaurant dining inside soon for girls night out i i actually think this guy might be real why because i think there are people that are like this that that continue to wear masks like to sleep that that are like they love rules so much covet has broken their brain where like it was wait till we get a vaccine wait till we get a vaccine then we got a vaccine they're like well not everyone's vaccinated so we have to keep doing everything i keep asking everybody the same question which is like is there a reason why i why it's a danger for vaccinated people to like not be wearing a mask so far i haven't heard somebody say that it is and until that time it's like i'm fuck i'm just raw dog and air all the time it feels great the entire purpose of doing all this bullshit for the last year was to get to the point where you can take the mask off again but some people you're right some people's brains have been broken where it's like, oh, if you're not wearing a mask, then people think you're Republican.
So I don't want to do that. It's like everyone should not want to wear a mask.
Wearing a mask sucks ass. It sucks.
I wear a mask now. The only times I ever wear a mask are on the subway because I feel like everyone's going to do that for the rest of the time.
I'm actually cool to do that forever on the New York City subways. If I get a cold sore, I'm going to wear a mask, which I still haven't had.
New York City subways, we should have been wearing masks a long time ago. Yes.
And then I'll wear it like walking into a store if that's what they demand. But even then, it's like I'm doing it for you, not for me.
Like, I would take this shit off if you let me. But if you're going to tell everyone they have to, I'll fucking play ball.
I don't care. Maybe he just got one of those sweet ass masks that have like a political statement on it and say like, fuck your mask on his mask.
Yeah. And so he's actually wearing it just as a fuck you to people who are still wearing their masks.
He's like, I can't take it off because then people won't know how much I hate their mask. Right.
Right. All right.
So here, this is, this is good. It gets good here.
When I have tried to present him with the science, he says, scientists don't fully understand the virus yet. Or I know it probably isn't necessary, but wearing it doesn't bother me.
So if there's even a small chance that it can protect us, I'd rather be on the safe side. What's the harm? Actually, that's a fine response.
If it doesn't bother you, who the fuck cares? Sounds like it bothers his wife, though. Yeah.
I disagree that there's no harm. I want to see my beautiful husband's face again.
I want to kiss him on the lips romantically like we used to. So they haven't kissed.
This is fucking weird. And not through a piece of fabric.
He does not change his mask very often. It is often smelly and soiled.
Oh, you got to be one or the other. You can't be full mask all the time guy and not adhere to just like basic common hygiene.
You've got to have multiple of them like hats that you put on for different occasions. Do you think he's gone down on his wife while still wearing the mask? Yeah, for sure.
Very hot. I don't want to feel judged by him for my own behavior, which I consider reasonable.
This is making meless and alone.'s tough that's tough i mean maybe he's what if he just had braces on and he's waiting for like another six months to to get him taken off and then boom perfect smile i do think that there are people like they just they love rules like the pandemic has been the best think about someone who just loves rules and authority the pandemic was a fucking wet dream for them yeah just everyone told them what to do i really don't have a problem with it if somebody wants to wear a mask if that's like their thing now i mean yeah but i at home i don't want to have sex with somebody who's wearing a mask that's my choice like my k, the thing I'm really turned on by is having sex with somebody maskless. If that makes me a weirdo, then that's my cross.
I just like the scientists don't fully understand it yet. That's a great line.
Scientists don't understand anything fully. That's why it's called science.
Right. It's ever evolving.
You have to. Yeah.
It's constantly testing new hypotheses. Hank, do you still wear a mask just on the train yeah i honestly do think the train like we should just do that that should be a law i massachusetts like they like ended them on on saturday i think and on friday i walked into dick sporting goods and i thought with no mask on i got like verbally yelled at really put a mask on You should have pulled out your phone and demanded they kick you out.
Gone viral. No, but I thought it was going to be like a kind of end of school situation where it's like, all right, it's the last week of school.
Who cares? Do whatever. Right.
Tomorrow's the day, but today's the real day. I also think at this point, if you haven't gotten the vaccine, you've made a choice to not get it yet, but I'm not going to change my behavior based on if somebody else made a different choice.
I can't wait to go to a sporting event. We've got to go to Annette's game for our boy Blake.
I'm going to try and go to the Colesium on Saturday. Whoa.
Hank. Henry.
I want to. I kind of want to.
What time is the game? I think 7 o'clock. We should go.

I don't have anyone to go with.

When is it?

Friday?

Saturday.

Saturday.

What would I wear?

A ref's uniform?

Just a third party?

Dude, it's sports.

Actually, yes, I'm in.

I'm in.

All right, let's go.

Yes, I'm in.

I might be late because my son doesn't go to bed until 7.

7.15.

7.15.

Oh, all right.

So I might be a little late, but I'll be there. All right, I'll save you a seat.
I'll buy us tickets. All right.
All right. 15? There's no way I'm – I'm out of town.
I'm definitely going to get out of this. But as of right now, I'm going to do it.
That'd actually be funny, just wearing sports. It's also like for the past few years, because it does look like an unreal game.
Yes. I've been like, I kind of want to go to an Islanders game, but I haven't had any real ties to it to go.
But now it ruins. Just bet the over? Yeah.
Okay. Wait, what are the other dates? Hmm.
Numbers. Now I'm going to get 51.
We are going to go to a Nets game. Because, yeah, we said we would go to a Nets game.
99. 51.
Five and three out of play. 89.
We'll have guests back on Friday We needed a no guest show Because we had way too much stuff to go over How long was the show? How long was this episode? 96 minutes Yeah it would have been like 2 hours and 20 minutes with a guest Animal fact We share 70% of our DNA with a slug. All right.
When you just said 96 minutes, and then it's going to end up being 90 minutes, people will be like, what, they cut out? Oh, a lot. Jesus.
Oh, they cut out that thing that Jake said? You didn't know it was a hot mic, in your defense. Okay.
Yeah. And it was three years ago, so.
Yeah, it was, yeah. And it's fine.
College. Yeah, right.
You're wearing a suit in your defense. Yeah.
And it was three years ago. Yeah, it was.

And it's fine.

College.

Yeah, right.

You're wearing a suit at a bar.

Yeah.

It's no big deal.

Yeah.

So you are admitting it.

It is not. Love you guys.
talking away

i don't know what

i'm just saying

today's another day

to find you

shying away I don't know what I'm to say. I'll say it anyway.
Today's another day to find you. Shine away.
I'll be coming for your love, okay? Shine away. I'll be coming for your love, okay? Take on me.
Take me on. I'll be gone.
Put on the line. Take me on me.
I'm upset. But I'll worry Love, love, life is okay Say after me It's better to be safe than sorry Say after me It's better to be safe than sorry Take on me, take me on, I'll be gone, and I do a change.
All the things that you say I'm raising a lot of words

Just to play my way away

You're all the things I've got to remember

You shine away

I'll be coming for you anyway

You shine away

I'll be coming for you anyway

Take on me

Take me on I'll be gone Good day I'll become the day It's Pardon My Take presented by Barstool Sports.