F1’s Christian Horner, NBA Play In And Jake Vs Hank

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USAA. On today's part of my take, we have Christian Horner.
You're probably saying who? Or you're saying actually that's awesome because you've watched the Netflix series Drive to Survive. He is the team principal of Team Red Bull.
They're like the best NASCAR team in the world, right? Yeah, F1 racing Monaco this weekend. Awesome interview.
One of those interviews where he started and he was like, who the fuck are these guys? And by the end, I think we were best friends. So very interesting.
We're getting into new sports. We're going to talk a little NBA playoffs.
LeBron seeing triple. NHL playoffs are back.
Well, I keep saying back, but they've been here. Well, no, now they're officially back because the regular season is now oh yeah that's true good point good point uh tim tebow's fat ass um and fire fest of the week we're gonna do it all before we do that a quick word from our friends we're gonna get right back to the show the last thing you want to hear when you need your auto insurance most is a robot with countless irrelevant menu options which is why with usaa auto insurance you'll get great service that is easy and reliable all at the touch Oh no, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher.
Oh, we gotta rock down to Electric Avenue. It's Pardon My Take presented by Barstool Sports.
Welcome to Pardon My Take presented by New Amsterdam Vodka, the official vodka of Barstool Sports. Today is Friday,-yay, May 21st.
And go team. I actually don't think that the name of this podcast is part of my take anymore.
Oh, no. It's not.
It's Martian My Jake. Oh, no.
It is your guy's show. A Jake Marsh podcast.
I joined two years ago. You guys started this in 2016.
I'm just a role player. It's your podcast.
What we've seen. I'm helping on the side.
Thank you for giving us permission to have it still be our podcast alpha. Thank you, sir.
It's a torch update with the podcast, and Jake is the alpha, and he just kind of cemented it. Well, I mean, we can go back and start with what happened today.
Yeah, so for people who didn't see Stool Streams, is hank has created uh frankenstein he's great well i think it's dr he is for dr frankenstein is that correct and frankenstein was the monster he's created a monster so he created stool streams it's fantastic it's it's great you see people in the office competing you can win money on the play barstool app no big deal but unfortunately it's gotten away from him because he keeps playing Jake Marsh in ping pong, and Jake Marsh is the most accidental alpha I have ever seen in my entire life. Today he did a Ty Lue, Allen Iverson step over of Hank, trying to help him up like he was injured or something.
That's what makes Jake the true alpha is because none of this is intentional. It's all natural to him.
Lions don't watch antelope run across the prairie and think to themselves, I have to prove that I'm a lion, so I'm going to go kill it and eat its butthole. They just do it because it's part of their nature.
Well, Jake, in this analogy, Jake is a lion. He eats the antelope, and then he says to the antelope, good chase.

Yeah, he's like, sorry.

Good chase, dude.

As I eat your heart out.

He's choking it out.

He's like, I really hate to do this.

Yeah, I didn't mean.

It's just a really good race that we had.

Yeah, I didn't mean to catch you like that and rip you to shreds.

You're really good.

You're really fast.

Yeah, if I wasn't going to eat your heart out right now, I would expect you to totally

be getting up from this and running away.

This would be, I mean, we won't spend getting up from this and running away. This would be...

I mean,

we won't say you spend too much time on it, but Hank, what is...

Are you okay?

Hank's down bad.

Down real bad. Are you okay?

I'm...

I don't know.

I'm down pretty bad.

Yeah, I...

The first one was bad, but it also, I think Hank in his head was like this is great for stool streams right that's just jake's uh undercover psycho we never knew and he was able to compartmentalize and move on this one feels really bad because it's the second one and again the step over of another man's dead body

and it's the second one and again the step over of another man's dead body and it's also the fact that it's a visual it's not a video that you have to watch it's just a picture and a picture is worse because you can you can photoshop a picture right you can no this doesn't this is the perfect picture it doesn't need doesn't need anything i saw he who shall not be named made a pretty good photoshop out of it oh he added in pee oh no a little golden shower you're not seeing in that picture he's doing yeah oh my god from the fucking well what's really stopped drinking for one second woke up from his drunken like may and was like oh shit i gotta make this picture even worse for him what's crazy is that jake has effortlessly accomplished everything that Billy had set out to do, which has become the new alpha of the show and take all of her jobs. Jake didn't even try to do it, and he's accomplished it.
I'm scared of you. I'm legitimately scared of Jake.
Here's what I'll say. The funny thing that I'm going to say is that in the first one, I think it was just a genuine outburst of emotion.
Wasn't really at me. It was just to the world.
I'm the best in the office. I'm the best one here.
Correct. Fact check.
True. Yes, you're right, Jake.
And this one, I fell to the ground. I had played two matches.
People aren't talking about that. I had to play two matches.
Fell to the ground in exhaustion. You scheduled a match with PFT.
We're on the same room, Jake. I'm telling you, we're not okay.
We're not okay. You don't need to scream.
We are not okay. You don't need to scream.
I fell to the ground. I was exhausted.
Yes. Catching my breath.
Jake came over, shook my hand, which was whatever. Walked away, then was talking to the cameras, had this little smile on his face as he's walking back, does the Jordan shrug, and then steps over me.
So it's, you know. No, actually, I'm going to throw a flag.
He did the Allen Iverson step over, then the Jordan shrug. Absolutely not.
Can I provide the truth to this story, please? Okay, well, real quick. I do want to say, Hank, in Jake's defense, there was a blog that just went up on the website.
And the headline is great. Jake wrote this.
The headline of this blog is sportsmanship, not disrespect. The real story of what happened after playing table tennis with Hank, in which he included all the necessary pictures and clips.
Again, accidental alpha. And featured it, mind you.
Featured it. I have no access to feature.
Accidental alpha. Okay.
Let me explain my side. Yes.
Go ahead. What you don't see in the picture, because it's cut off, is me offering my arm out.
Yeah, I think that's worse. I think that's worse.
I was trying to help him out. To pick him up off the ground.
I mean, he wasn't dead or injured. I was just trying to be a good sport.
And you're not teammates. People who know me know that I try to be positive.
If you don't see people after the game finals, the Stanley Cup, you don't see teams picking players. That's the biggest ritual in the hockey playoffs.
The handshake line. I'm saying Adam Morrison.
You didn't see UCLA players coming over to Adam Morrison and picking him up off the ground. When they shook hands afterwards, they definitely did.
We shook hands, Jake. We did that.
We tried to help you out Hank. Alright well let's just

we have sports we gotta

talk about. I do appreciate though that Jake included

the scores of the 21-9

match and the 21-14 match in the recap.

I'd forgotten the score. Also

it was the most obvious thing in the world that

Jake was going to make a beeline over to

Hank to shake his hand. Twice.

Out of sportsmanship.

I show double sportsmanship.

Wouldn't that cancel out your sportsmanship? No, it doubles it down. Double sportsmanship.
Jokes aside, people know who I am. No one's joking.
No, we have not joked once. We're yet to tell a joke on this episode.
People know me as a good person. I went to thehealthy.com and I looked up how to fix a broken relationship.
Eight expert tips where it goes through, like, do you have a broken relationship? Signs of a broken relationship. You're not talking to one another.
I was in this room with you guys for about 50 minutes, an hour. Very few words were uttered.
He texted me. He's like, this is pretty tense.
I was like, I'm not coming in. One of you has shut down.
I feel like Hank's on his phone right now when we're trying to do a show. Just researching.
How to kill a man and get away with it. Is your relationship worth saving is the next question.
I think that's what you guys need to decide. Yeah, I don't know if it is.
I don't know. They haven't said anything.
And it looks like it isn't. Yeah, no, I mean, we've got to make it to the...
Again, the other thing is that we're not talking about how it's still the regular season. It doesn't mean anything until the tournament does not exist until I beat him two weeks ago to spin that.
You haven't even lost. It does say you likely won't make it if your partner is physically abusive.
So, I don't know. Jake is borderline.
And Jake does keep saying, like, I'll swear it'll never happen again right and then it just happens triple sportsmanship yeah the triple sportsmanship just like punch him yeah i would never do that that's not who i am no i know i'm sorry sir all right let's talk about some sports. You guys are going to figure it out.

We'll be fine.

Jake, you're an alpha.

Enjoy it.

I mean, you're electric.

You're an electric factory.

Yeah.

Am I sad that I've lost a friend in Hank forever?

Yeah, a little bit.

But I've also gained a father figure in Jake.

No, you guys are my mentors.

Thank you. Including Hank.
You guys have done a lot for me So let's not spin that I'm legitimately scared of you So I don't know how to respond Jake, what would you like us to lead the show off with today? We have Tim Tebow talk We have hockey and we have basketball Your choice one. As your boss, I'm telling you, you have to pick one.
Brooks tied for the lead. Oh, good call.
That was an option. That's the alpha.
Alright, so Brooks Koepka tied for the lead. Looking great.
He had a bad start, too. I think he double bogeyed the first.
Yeah, well he had to play himself back into shape. And that's what he was people were talking about the angles and the the chubby belly and the picture that came out on wednesday but um it actually does say something about golf that you can play yourself into shape on one hole yes so brooks is back uh i just man i were like him being in the contention this week would be awesome but not only is brooks playing well i I'm pretty sure Max is tied for 12th right now.
Okay. And Will is tied for 12th right now.
He hold out an eagle on a par 5, I think. All three of our guys are 12th or better.
It's incredible. I was asking Max this the other day.
Is there a name for if you get a hole-in-one on a par 5? Because I know it's an albatross if you get a double eagle, right?

It's an un.

It's an un? A Kim Jong-un.

I was thinking that we could name it.

It should be a Kim.

A super max for max.

You should just try to squat on that name for it.

But I don't know if there's an actual golf term or not for it yet.

Yeah, so the – what is it?

Kiowa?

Kiowa Island.

It's going to be windy. That's all I keep hearing.
That's all I keep telling people like, hey, you see that wind? Talking about that wind. What are you laughing about? Just that comment.
Oh, okay. It was funny.
I'm so on edge. I'm so on edge.
All right. Next topic.
Jake. Playing.
Okay. Playing game.
Playing game. Okay.
Uh. Playing.
Okay, the playing game. I hate LeBron.
I love him. Let me finish.
I turned around on him last night. I hate LeBron, but holy shit, is he so fun to like everything about him.
The theatrics. The first half, he's so passive.
And there was a moment where it actually happened in two possessions he passed up a layup and took like a fadeaway eight footer and bricked it and everyone was like oh lebron like is he okay and then in the next uh possession he went down the court and won like fast break and you're like oh lebron woke up and then he ended up hitting that three, which should have been us. A nine? Because he shot it on three rims? No, he was seeing three rims.
And that post-game press conference, that was laugh out loud funny. That's when I officially turned on LeBron because he had that line ready to go.
He had watched Rocky. I think it's a line from Rocky, like, you see three guys, or I'm seeing three guys, Mick, hit the one in the middle.
Hit the one in the middle. It's a line from Rocky, and he had it ready to go he had watched rocky i think it's a line from rocky like you see three guys or i'm seeing three guys mick hit the one in the middle the one in the middle it's a line from rocky and he had it ready to go and actually if we're if we're actually like going into lebron's brain and seeing through his eyes shouldn't that make it easier to hit the shot if there are three hoops yes that's what i'm saying what but it should have counted i think it went in did it go in no it went in one yeah no we i don't know though no he said he shot at the one in the middle It went in the one in the middle.
But were they overlapping? So it could have counted. I think it went in.
Did it go in? No, it went in one. Yeah, no.
I don't know, though. No, he said he shot at the one in the middle.
It went in the one in the middle. Were they overlapping? So it could have been.
I figured it's like the left-hand hoop is halfway in the middle hoop, and the right-hand hoop is halfway in the middle hoop as well. So it's like a Venn diagram.
Well, in that case, it would have bricked. He bricked two and hit one.
I think so. Either that or he didn't say if they were side by side.
Maybe they were on top of each other and it went through all three. That would have been a nine-pointer.
It could have been a nine-pointer. Like the all-star game where they bring out the big hoop.
Yeah, or it could have been like the rims were just slightly off a little bit. You know what I mean? So he was kind of seeing three.
I mean, seeing three is also a sign of being intoxicated, which she might have been chiefed up. She was the night before with Drake.
He was out with Drake doing a little unvaccinated party. I think, and I know that game was awesome.
I stayed up for it. Not saying I'm a hero, but I did.
I think LeBron drinking the night before with Drake proved my point that that game didn't really matter. Because there's no way if that was a real playoff game, elimination game, he's going to be out drinking with Drake the night before.
Well, what he's done is he's become the reverse Skip Bayless of himself because he builds in his excuses every time, too. So while Skip was saying if they don't win by at least 20, which they didn't, so technically the Warriors won, it would be a disappointment.
LeBron saw that, and he's like, well, I'm going to go out with the most famous person in the world, have my picture taken, be like, oh, dang, I didn't think that they were going to get me out at the club with my guy Drake. And Bay caught me sipping.
I was trying to have a low-key night with Drizzy, and they got me, and then he's got his excuse just in case they do lose. But the poke in the eye from Draymond, I would have loved it if he had come out wearing an eye patch, like a Mike Zimmer for that last shot.
That would have been hilarious. So Draymond needs a little credit because he was awesome defensively.
I also, Draymond's three-point shot is like a bad joke in a party. Whenever he takes, the Warriors can be going rolling, and then he'll take his three-point shot that looks like he's got a piano on his back, and it will just be record scratch, like, ooh, he should have done that.
But he has to keep taking him because they leave him wide open. And he was great.
Steph was obviously fantastic. Steph's so much fun.
Steph, also, if you saw afterwards, I think LeBron said I was seeing triple and Steph was like come on dude like get the fuck out of here CJ McCollum online aimed for the middle one and then I think unfortunately the Lakers are going to repeat you think so they're going to have trouble with the Suns I think that sucks so sucks so bad for the Suns. They haven't made the playoffs in forever.
So I said that right after the game, and some people were like, dude, the Suns are really good. I agree the Suns are really good.
But if you're the Suns, if you're a Suns fan, you can't tell me that you're pumped about the fact that you have your best team in 15 years and you happen to match up with the defending champions and LeBron James for your first round matchup. That's terrible.
Right, right. That's not ideal, but I do think that the Suns are good enough.
They can win. I'll borrow a phrase for myself.
They could win this series. They need to get back in their team building exercises.
I think go with what worked for you in the bubble. Just get some thought.
Get the team sucked going. Remember sucked going.
Yeah, remember Jake's going to be number one. Or is he last? No, I think he's one now.
He's got to go first. So the Lakers, the reason why I think they're going to – it's basically LeBron is going to, what you saw in the second half, even though he's never going to be 100% again, he just decides, like, oh, yeah, I remember I'm LeBron and I can go to the rim whenever I want and I can dominate this game.
And then Anthony Davis, when he, Anthony Davis, like, he needs, he's, what's the old, there's an old, like, children's story, the elephant that's scared of the mouse. Is that something? Horton Hears a Who? Maybe.
Anthony Davis, like, half of the games, he just forgets that he's a 7-footer and better than everyone. Like in the first half, he forgot that he was seven feet and better than everyone.
And then the second half, he was like, oh, yeah, I'm seven feet and I'm the best guy here. Well, sometimes the mark of a true alpha is knowing when to concede.
True. And when Alex Caruso is on fire, you feed that beast.
Yeah, the crew show. So as long as Anthony Davis remembers that he's seven feet tall and awesome at basketball and LeBron decides, like, hey, remember I'm LeBron? I don't know.
It's weird to say a seven seed and the Lakers have looked bad at times. And when they look bad, they look really bad.
But I don't know. Are you really going to bet against LeBron right now? They also didn't play for, like, LeBron and Anthony Davis didn't play combined for like the whole regular season right so i so i don't think the seed matters no it doesn't right it doesn't matter it just matters i mean a game seven but then you have to ask like how many fans right yeah well i think i think by this weekend it'll be like fully open or next weekend arizona seems like in la yeah arizona yeah you can be sure the 29th, all the wheels come off.
At least in Massachusetts.

Hell yeah. You can be anything you want at all times.
I'm pretty sure the 29th, all the wheels come off, at least in Massachusetts.

Hell yes.

All right, so we have the setup now.

Oh, yeah, the Grizzlies beat the Spurs.

That was great.

Everybody watch that.

That was fucking awesome.

The only comment I'll ever have about the Grizzlies is they're the same team.

But I'm a rider. They're the same team year to year.
And they're a team that's kind of nasty, kind of tough. Yeah.
Grit and grind. Yeah, grit and grind.
And my only other comment is that I missed the Vancouver Grizzlies uniforms. Bring those back.
Yes. They have worn those a couple times this year.
And also, Pop, I know that it's cool to be the funny, older genius, but his look is, it's gone real far. He embraced this quarantine.
His hair. And the thing is, like.
His hair and just his whole everything. Pop's also been around barbers.
Teams have barbers that stay in quarantine with them to get their hair cut. So he doesn't really have an excuse.

I think a lot of guys, once they hit their 60s, they're just like, I am not getting any hotter at this point.

So we have first round this weekend.

I'm very excited.

I think it's going to be great.

We talked about the heat and the Bucs.

I think that starts on Saturday.

So that's, like, the bonus of all this is, you know, usually it's the first week of May,

first weekend of May, when we have the start of all these playoff series.

So we have eight games on Saturday and Sunday.

I think Mavericks and Clippers are going to be great.

Hank, do you give your Celtics a chance against the Nets?

No, I think we might get a game or two. I think it's going to be – I've rewatched the last dance recently like i know everyone talked about it during the pandemic ad nauseum but unbelievable documentary i think it's gonna be like when jordan faced the celtics like his first year whatever in the playoffs where tatum's gonna have a couple games yeah he's gonna have a couple crazy games but the better team will win so what changed between today and like two days ago because You were feeling pretty confident.
Was I? Nah. It's kind of been the Sixers.
You were saying that you could beat the Sixers. We would beat the Sixers.
I'll say that right now. If we were playing the Sixers, we'd beat them.
Oh, no. All right, can we get this off the TV? They're replaying stool streams.
I think we know what happened. We were doing well.
We were doing well. This is you, though.
What are you talking about? This is you written all over. How is it me? I don't control this.
Yeah, can we just turn that TV off? No, actually leave it on. Fine, just leave it on.
Bubba, if you want to turn one of these cameras and put it on the TV so we can have a live stream going for all the people that are watching. Simulcats.
Oh, it's just the graphic. Oh, so they're not going to show the game? No.
All right, good. Yeah, so Sunday, we're going to just say the Wizards beat the Pacers.

Sure.

I don't know.

I don't know.

The Pacers won by, like, 30 points in their playing game.

Okay, we'll say the Pacers beat the Wizards.

Yeah, that sounds better.

All right, so the Sixers and the Pacers.

I'm very excited for the Suns-Lakers.

That's 3.30 on Sunday, which, yeah, it's going to be great.

A lot of sports all weekend.

Anything else in NBA before we ask Jake where we can go to next? I'm good on NBA. No, actually, I want to go back because I was telling you that if there was a good playing game, you would like to play in format.
And last night we had a good playing game. Yeah, but I stand by the fact that I don't need to see a 33 and 39 team play an extra game to see if they get in the playoffs.
Right, but if all it gave us was the Lakers playing the Warriors. Yeah, they should have retired after that.
And LeBron James hitting the legendary eye shot. Yes.
I just think that do 8-9. I'm cool with 8-9.
I think the 7-10 thing is stupid. LeBron.
8-9 sudden death. One game.
Yes, exactly. 8-9 sudden death.
One game. That's in the bubble, right? Yes, exactly.
I mean, this is a very atypical year because you have the defending champs being the 7th seed. How many times do 7 and 8 seeds win in the NBA playoffs? Very rarely.
Has LeBron put up an Instagram post about that shot yet? To his former self? Yeah, he definitely. He's like, I was seeing in the future.
My eyes were so screwed up past LeBron. He thinks that was his Willis Reed moment.
Yes. He might actually come out and lay an egg in this series because that one shot was so emotionally draining.
Yes, that's true. All right, let me do a quick ad read.
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Back to part of my take. Jake, next topic.
Let's go with the Mayor's Bet update. Great double overtime game.
Okay, Hank, this is good for you. This is great, actually.
This is good, Hank. Hank, congratulations on a big overtime win.
I'll be the bigger man and congratulate you immediately. Not to be a downer, but there was a big stream at the office last night.
I just didn't get invited to it. Yeah, it was mostly for big content names on the stream.
Jake, were you there? I was not. Were you invited, though? I was not.
But yeah, it was a good game. I watched it at home by myself, and I was happy the Bruins won.
I just hope that at this point, the Bruins and Caps go seven games, and every game goes over time. I can't do it.
Also, Ovi's falling apart. Ovi's falling apart anymore.
So after it was over, Samsonov had a great game for the most part, except for the very end. Ovi screamed at him after that last goal.
I looked up what the translation was. According to the lip readers online, of which there are many, he told Samsonov, don't sleep tonight, bitch.
So I don't know if Ovi's going to kill him. He might be dead.
One of Putin's guys might have come into the room last night. That's a tough one to say to a teammate.
Yeah, don't sleep, bitch. Am I crazy? I always remember the pronunciation being Samsonov.
That's a different, yeah. Oh, okay, it is a different person completely.
Because every time they say it, I'm like, was there a mandate where all of a sudden the announcers have to really, like, en suh, say I'm sewn off. It's a different guy.

Yeah, I can see how that would be confusing to a casual.

I actually do think that the best way to turn the series around right now,

because two overtime losses in a row,

it's not the same as just two regular three-period losses where you lose by a goal.

It's emotionally draining.

You have to come out,

and I think Tom Wilson has to get into a fight. I think he has to try to fight Marshawn.
Well, let me ask you this. Must win or can't lose? It's a can't lose.
I thought about that. I thought about it.
And what's really starting to make me upset is I have to start mentally preparing myself for this might be Ovi's last season because he's a free agent. And you to eat all of garden till you puke yeah i i did say i would stop using that's cap if the caps came back and won oh so that's on the line so i'm a caps fan officially on the line i figure that's a good way to get people around me i will stop using that's cap i will at effective game seven or game six whenever we win this thing i will stop using using that cap for the rest of my life.
I will never say those words again. Okay.
That's my solemn promise to you. Other series, Avalanche are awesome.
I love their uniforms too. I think they were wearing throwback uniforms last night.
They look sick. And speaking of uniforms, the Oilers, they wore the worst uniforms that they have, and you can't do that in the playoffs.
You can't bring out your worst sweater. Which ones were they wearing in the barn? They were wearing the black ones with the orange silhouette.
Yeah, I don't like it. You can't do that.
Especially when you have one of the best regular uniforms ever. Blues and orange.
Blue and orange is a great color combination. It's the playoffs.
Except for the Mets. We're going to have Biz on on Sunday night, so we will do some in-depth hockey talk, we promise.
So did you hear what Patrick Sharp said on the broadcast? I'm hot, and I have three rings. He's like, I've got great hair.
I've got a lot of championships. Big Cat's taking a picture of me right now at home probably.
And he mentioned the fact that you can just jam the goal with a bunch of players. And I asked Ryan Whitney and Biz Nasty about that.
These are two scholars, and they both said that they are not aware of a rule that would prevent an entire team from playing the stack and just laying on each other's backs and blocking the goal. So there it is.
Figure it out, people. Do that.
Park the bus. All right, next topic.
Jake. No-hitters are happening every day.
Oh, my God. I'm so sick of them.
You think who's going to throw tonight's no-hitter? It's just like – I think there will be two tonight. Yeah, probably.
There are a lot of day games. The fact that the Yankees haven't had – There's only five night games.
It actually bums me out because the Cubs had for a long time – it was like one of the only records the Cubs had. Well, that and having the longest drought, like World Series drought.
But they had the longest time period of not being no-hit. Cole Hamels no-hit him, I think it was like 2014, 15, 15 maybe.
And it would have been an awesome record to have right now. Because it was like 25, 30 years or something.
In today's game it would be like holy shit that would be the cool no the new no hitter to be like we haven't been no hit right i actually think that throwing no hit no hitters have gotten it's like chuggy now yeah it's like kind of overdone it's lame hank's shaking his head you don't think it's chuggy hank just everything you say but what what everything? Yeah, I work for Barstool Sports. It's like Draymond Green shooting a three.
You know, it doesn't look natural. It's Chugi.
It's Chugi AF. It's honestly...
Yeah, out of the AF. It's cringe.
Want to hit this, cousin? That was big yikes. Big yikes.
Big oof. I don't know about that one, Chief, when guys are throwing no hitters out there.
I don't know. What was the old one that you made me say like two years ago? I don't know about that one, Chief When guys are throwing no-hitters out there I don't know What was the old one that you made me say Like two years ago? I don't know about that That one, Chief Yeah That one, Chief Okay Alright, but seriously Like, no-hitters are lame now No-hitters are not cool Guys strike out too much Guys don't fucking hit for contact They're trying to hit home runs I actually think it's Ban the shift It's gotten selfish to the point where Like, your defense getting the reps in, so fielding percentages are down.
The seams are bigger. They added an extra seam on the baseball this year.
Anyone can throw. Here's what they should do is they should not count no-hitters if you get any outs with the shift.
Yeah. That's part of the problem.
And the shift. I wonder if Tony La Russa would ever get mad at a pitcher in any circumstance for throwing a no-hitter.

Tony La Russa getting mad at his own players

and then defending the other team for throwing at him.

He's just goofed up.

He's all goofed up.

What do you say, Liam?

I saw it's on pace to be the lowest batting average of all time this year. It's the shift.
It's the fact. It's launch angles.
It's balls. It's everything.
There needs to be no more. No hitters.
No hitters. I got thrown off there because Hank did the.
I was wondering. No one's going to hear that.
They're going to not hear this? They don't want to hear that now. Well, the one you just did.

Yeah, me doing it.

Yeah.

What about that?

So they hear this?

All right, next topic, Jake.

All right, I got one more notable one.

I like this, actually.

He's like our little reality.

He keeps it moving.

We got our first look at Tim Ochocinco Tebow.

Oh, I like that name.

He's looking chonk.

Also, so.

Big boy. Fullback.
Well, most people saw that and was like, hey, that's a fat ass looking chonk. Also, so.
Big boy.

Fullback.

Well, most people saw that and was like, hey, that's a fat ass.

Tim Tebow's kind of fat.

I saw it and I was like, how dare you, Tim Tebow, taking Blake Bortles' number?

85?

No, I thought he took five.

No, Ocho Cinco.

He took 85?

No, he was just so big.

Oh, shit, I didn't see the eight.

You could only see the five on his back. The eight was on his side.
What I took from it is... I was wrong.
I think Tim Tebow is kind of a Trojan horse deal. I think he might end up playing quarterback.
Because if you saw the handshake that he put on the other guy, that is a quarterback's handshake. He put his hand out to introduce himself as they're walking away.
They shook hands. He jerked the guy's hand a little bit.
Alpha to him. Jake knows about that.
The old Trump one where he put him off balance just for a second. And then as the guy got a little off balance, Timmy patted him on the back and gave him like reassurance.
It was, it was like the entire encapsulation of how to become a natural alpha in about 0.5 seconds.

Flawlessly executed.

I know about that.

Tim Tebow.

I've seen it.

Tim Tebow,

I think is going to,

if I were Trevor Lawrence,

I would sleep very,

very cautiously.

Yes.

You know,

urban loves him.

He loves himself.

Some Tebow.

We have one last topic.

Let's talk before we get to Christian Horner. So if you have not watched drive to survive on Netflix,

I just binged it. I think you just startedhti, you just started it as well.
I saw two eps. It's fucking awesome.
And I think we're going to dip our toe into a little F1 content. Not go crazy, but we're going to do it a little.
It's foreshadowing, but I think I agree with the end of the interview. We have to go and be there in person and then we can talk about it going for us.
Otherwise, we'll just come across as fraud. Yeah, that's true.
We've got to get there. And you've got to go to the Mecca, which is Monaco, right? There have been a couple times this week when we've been talking about this interview and the scheduling of it, and I've just tossed out there, like we should probably go to Monaco.
Next year, Monaco. If anybody had said, even kind of as a joke, yes, let's go, it no longer would have been a joke to me.
I would have been like, yeah, we're doing it. Let's buy a plane ticket.
I would like to go to Monaco. Next year in 2022, they're doing a track right outside Hard Rock Stadium in Miami.
You guys can come stay at my place. Sure.
Yes, absolutely. If you need us to do any gardening for you.
Can we use the toilet? My mom will cook for you. We you we'll do any chores anything you need us to do uh-huh be good we'll be a good hook but it's awesome because if you haven't watched it so f1 i was skeptical i had heard like people talking about it and then we got this interview booked a couple weeks ago i was like let me just start watching this and it was one of those things that you watch and you can't stop watching because yes it's about racing but it's also the drama is crazy and like the

track this and it was one of those things that you watch and you can't stop watching because yes it's about racing but it's also the drama is crazy and like the tracks are cool the scenes are cool they've done Netflix or whoever created Drive to Survive did the perfect hack of if we show enough aerial shots of cool scene sceneries like people are gonna like this show no matter what and then you throw in everyone hating each other like the the infighting the little petty wars it's it's this league on steroids for me it's mostly about the uh the optics of success that just emanate from formula one race yes so like if we if we talk about formula one i think that people will just be like those guys are sophisticated as hell. Right.
If you just say, like, I'm a big Formula One fan. I love Team Ferrari.
People will be like, that guy is rich and successful. He probably owns several Ferraris.
Yep. Michael Schumacher.
He's the GOAT. Yeah.
No, no doubt about it. Yeah.
So, well, Lewis Hamilton might be. No, I think Schumacher.
Yeah, I am a Ferrari guy. See, this conversation right now.
Yeah, this is conversation right now yeah this is incredible everybody is like holy shit wealthy and they were talking about monaco where even is that this is crazy yeah we we exude class so yeah i'm gonna be a i'm gonna try to watch f1 this weekend i actually think that that is probably the only race in the world that i would get kicked out of monaco monaco Monaco. Not for anything that I did.
I probably wouldn't be admitted. But you can't even...
I don't want to say that you're now making us look poor, but you are, because you don't even have to get admitted to Monaco. You can just watch the race on your yacht.
Well, I don't think I'd be admitted in the vicinity. No, dude.

We'd have our yacht.

I've actually been to Monaco.

It's lovely.

I know.

We wouldn't need to buy.

You don't buy tickets.

You watch it from a fucking rooftop or your yacht.

I just don't think.

I think I don't have the Monaco look.

We'll get it.

We'll find it.

In the other motorsport, it's like that guy should probably be competing.

What's breaking news?

Fredo is trending.

I don't know. People are using a slur again.
Is it about Maradona's doctors? Oh, no, it's just Chris Cromo. Oh.
Okay. I was like, uh-oh.
Uh-oh. Did you hear that about Maradona's doctors? What? They killed him.
Why? I don't know. They're trying to figure it out.
Fuck. The case is like going to court.
They're being charged with homicide with homicide they killed the goat shit messi probably had something to do with it no messi wants status no no no messi loves maradona it's probably ronaldo um all right so i cannot recommend it enough drive to survive on netflix it's awesome like i again i was skeptical because i'm not a big like racing guy uh car racing it's way more than that. It's everything.
So just pop it in. There's three seasons right now in Monaco on this weekend.
And we're going to talk to Christian Horner right now. Before we get to Christian Horner.
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Okay, here he is, Christian Horner.

Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. It is team principal of Red Bull Racing Formula One, Christian Horner.
They're actually teaming up with Cash App as well, which is a sponsor of ours, working with you guys. You guys are at Monaco right now, and you have the race coming up on Sunday.
We're excited to have you on. I want to just tell you beforehand that I'm a diehard F1 fan as of a week and a half ago.
I binged all three seasons. So I guess my first question is, what made you go with the spray tan for season three after season one and two? Well, that was, you know, being locked up at home for a couple of months.
So you get out in the garden a bit. And the first I've been in one place for that period of time.
So there were benefits to this pandemic. Okay.
All right. I just had to ask that.
But seriously, so for people, our audience probably isn't the biggest F1 fans. If you want to go watch Drive to Survive, it's awesome on Netflix.
There's three seasons out. Can you explain to us what Monaco means to the F1 world and what they should expect to watch when they're watching this weekend? Monaco's a big one.
All the races have the same points, but this is the big one. Every driver, every team wants this on their CV.
It's over 70 years old, this race. The track's largely unchanged.
It's an insane circuit. There's no overtaking here.
So qualifying is everything. But you're racing through a tunnel.
You're running around the harbor. You're going through where the market would be, past the casino.
So it's an iconic race. And when people think Formula One, 90% of them will also think Monaco.
And I'm a diehard Formula One fan in the last two days. So I've seen a couple of the episodes.
I followed along a little bit. I know that you have in your last couple of races finished in second place.
I saw that you were saying that you expected a good result this weekend. In American media, what we like to do is we like to make people guarantee victories.
And then that gives us a lot of headlines and generates buzz for us. So would you like to guarantee a victory this weekend in Monaco? No, no, I'm not gonna get you know, we're very British.
So we're very reserved. We don't you know, we don't talk about guaranteeing anything.
So so no, we're we'll totally understate it. We'll put all the pressure on Lewis Hamilton and try and beat him on Sunday afternoon.
But, look, it's really tight between the guys at the front. Between Lewis and Max, there's nothing much between them the first four races.
This race, the driver, makes a difference. And it's going to be about getting the qualifying, right? Because then you can weave like hell and keep the guy behind for 70 laps.
All right, so I'm actually very curious about this. The driver versus the car.
Like Lewis Hamilton is the GOAT. Whenever we're discussing sports in America, we like to do the GOAT.
Max Verstappen is going to be a world champion. That's what everyone says.
I believe it as well. How much of it is the driver and how much of it is the car? Like if you put Max or Lewis in a bottom tier car, would they be on the podium or is it impossible? No, they wouldn't be on the podium.
It's impossible. But I mean, the car is a big influence.
It's probably about a third, a third, a third if you split it up between car or chassis, engine and driver um you know that's probably about the you know the split okay that actually helps a lot because i always i'm watching these you know these episodes and i'm wondering like you know obviously the financial part of the of the sport is interesting because if you spend more money you have more resources you have a bigger team but uh. But the fine details on the car, are those things that you're thinking of in the offseason and you're just hoping it works when you get into testing and you get into the season? No, look, I mean, we don't make things up as we go along.
We do a huge amount of simulation. We do a massive amount in the virtual world.
We pretty much live in the matrix. And so when we turn up at a track, you know, the driver's tested the updates, he's tested the car, the engine, everything.
And the reality versus the virtual world is getting so close now in that simulation that that's how we develop these cars. Yeah.
Can you remember when you were growing up? I know you grew up in a motorsports family. Do you remember when you fell in love with going fast? Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. A long time ago.
You know, we had a – the house I lived at in the countryside, there was a hill outside, you know, at the back of the garden. And there was a road, and it was about – you know, we used to make like a soapbox to go down the hill there.
And of course it had no breaks or anything like that. It was all about who could go the quickest.
And so, yeah, I was probably about eight, nine. That's where I fell in love with speed.
So what? Evel Knievel was a big factor in my life as well. Evel K evil and and the full guy i mean he was he was a big influence on my younger career so so the influence was like you love to go fast and then you also weren't afraid of crashing from time to time no i'm so you want to jump things you want a hot girl next to you in the pickup truck um by jukes of hazard they were a big influence on me as well.
18. Yeah.
All those classics.

So... pickup truck um but jukes of hazard they were a big influence on me as well 18 yeah yeah all those classics yeah um so i'm the sport is so fascinating to me and like i said i've been a diehard fan for a week and a half now when we're talking about american sports and you talk about teams and teammates you you obviously are expecting teammates to work together this sport's obviously a little different that the teammates are competing against each other is there how do you how do you like you know as basically the head coach of this whole system how do you get them to work together but also know that the end of the day they're really racing each other i think there's a big difference between american sport and european sport because in america you say our teammates they genuinely like each other they give each other the ball they'll play with each other they they you know they work for each other call a teammate in europe they fucking hate each other uh because it's the one guy that's gonna gonna kill his career right so so they play team but the reality is they both want to beat each other and uh And so my job is to try and keep them both pointing in the right direction and score as many points for the team as they can.
And is there ever a time where you will say, like, either mid-race or before the race, hey, look, you have to take one for the team here. You have to help Max get to the podium.
We're not expecting you to win this race. We want you to help him win this race.
Is there any element of that? There will be because at some point you've got to pick your best chance of success. So Max is probably the most likely guy to obviously win their championship for us.
And we've got a great driver in Sergio Perez. And obviously at some stage his role will be to say, right, okay, we've got to help Max win this.
But we're nowhere near that stage. We're only four races in and focused on giving both drivers the best chance that we can.
It's usually the last sort of 25% of the championship that that will happen. How have things changed in the sport given the popularity of the netflix series because i imagine that it's been exposed to you know a massive audience that might not have ever heard of you guys before have you noticed like different uh fans out at the race more fans in general um yeah we've noticed a massive massive change since netflix came along i mean uh i'm very popular with the generation now, so all the older viewers that seem to have been attracted to myself.
But it's fantastic that, you know, we're reaching this whole new audience and that, you know, Netflix is putting Formula One in front of people that wouldn't have naturally watched Formula One, and then they want to find out what's going on, what happened. You know, this is a soap opera.
And so they have to tune in and watch the sport. And then, you know, they get more and more engaged.
So for us, it's fantastic. We have a growing audience in the U.S.
that's going crazy. We're bringing in a lot of U.S.
sponsors like Cash App, like Oracle, and ExxonMobil, you know, AT&T, some great brands. And, um, you know, that's all because of the popularity that's growing and Netflix is a big part of that.
Yeah. I mean, I'm a test case for that.
I had no idea what F1 was. And then I watched it.
You'd never heard of me before. No, I didn't.
And I actually want to throw this out there because I think the greatest humble brag, I don't know if you intended this to to happen happened in season one of drive to survive when uh you were at home with your family and your wife's sitting next to you and they just didn't mention the fact that i was like wait is that ginger spice and then i realized it was so uh you know we're we're 36 year old guys who grew up on the Girls, so that was kind of a cool twist that we didn't expect.

Yeah, yeah.

Who was your favorite?

Ginger Spice.

Wait, respectfully.

Yeah, congratulations.

Respectfully is what I meant to say. Respectfully, respectfully.

No, thank you.

Yeah.

We're very British about that kind of stuff.

Yeah.

You've done well for yourself.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Yeah, no, I like to think she's punching above her weight,

but it's probably me that is. Yeah.
If you guys have to go out to dinner if you have to make like a last minute reservation whose name are you dropping are you gonna say you or hers depends where we go depends where we go but usually usually her name works a bit more than mine does imagine that open some doors for sure yeah yeah how does it work uh if you're if

you're growing up over in europe and you want to and you're into formula one how do you decide which team to support that's always been like fascinating to me when it comes to more individual sports it's like how do people get attached to a driver or usually it's through a driver isn't it it's either through nationality like when i was growing up nigel mansell was a big you know uh big name for me, British guy,

drove with his, you know, a lot

of heart, and he was up against somebody like ed and senna you know who who had a massive following in in brazil and south america so 90 percent of the time it's the driver and that's what the u.s need we've got to get a decent american driver um running in formula one um and and as soon as that happens i I think the U.S. will just take off even more.

We've got a new race coming in Miami next year, which is going to be super cool.

So, you know, our presence in the U.S. is growing and growing.

We just need a U.S. star.

We've got a youngster that's only, I think he's 14, 15, Jack Crawford, American kid.

And he's going to be a big name. He's going to be a good one.
I love it. That's a good name too, yeah.
Has it ever worked the other way? Because I know that you've heard of some F1 drivers coming over, trying their hand at NASCAR. Has there ever been a major NASCAR driver that's crossed over and tried to compete in F1? I think NASCAR drivers, they come and had a go, but they haven't actually raced.
And likewise, the other way around, I think Montoya was the guy that went the other way. And he did a pretty decent job from what I could see in NASCAR.
But it's like they're two different worlds. It's like, you know, we have rugby, you've got American football, you know, and, you know, we've got soccer or football and you've got soccer.
It's, you know cars and tracks but it's formal one is a different challenge to anything in the u.s compared for example like the indy 500 right um dumb question when a crash happens obviously the first thing you're thinking about is the safety of the driver and making sure everyone's okay after everyone's okay are you like oh shit that's a lot of money like that's a lot of money that we just lost on that car. Exactly.
Especially this year with the cost, we've got a financial cap. So we're restricted to $145 million.
And it sounds like a lot. On the car? Yeah, on the car.
So we can't go over that. Last year we'd have been spending about $195 million.
So we've had to reduce our costs significantly for this rule this year so somebody crashes the car that's expensive and and so yeah as soon as the guy's all right you're thinking how much did that cost yeah right that little fender bender so speaking of the restrictions of financial restrictions are you do you think that's good for the sport that there there's going to be more parity and overall the health of the sport will be better knowing

that you can't just spend the most money and win the championship? Yeah, I think it's good. I think

it's ultimately a positive thing. You just want to make sure that people are all playing by the

same rules. It's like, you know, they're all different entities.
So, I mean, Ferrari make

road cars and race cars. So if Luigi's designing a front wing, is it for a Formula One car or a

Thank you. So, I mean, Ferrari make road cars and race cars.
So if Luigi's designing a front wing, is it for a Formula One car or a F60? You know, so you just want to make sure. And I think they've got a good, they have got, you know, quite a good process in place.
And, you know, everybody's set up is different. So it's a new challenge this year.
but i think ultimately it's a good one it's going to take a couple of years to to settle down but i think it's it's healthy for the for the whole sport i i like that about you by the way that you are uh not afraid to be like hey that's illegal like i'm going to protest that has anyone ever come up to you and and been like you're a snitch like why are you doing that i i think it's great i think it's awesome to watch because you're basically like a coach we're gonna take every we're gonna use every advantage we have we're gonna we're gonna uh expend every resource to try to win this race and if that's like hey this guy missed the yellow flag we're gonna say it but does has there ever been any backlash uh you know people always have opinions but my job is to push the limits if i don't do that then i'm not doing my job properly but say yeah it's okay you guys take the yellow flag we'll give you that win right you know so underneath that british exterior is a competitive american interior there's a shark i like that i like that, yeah. What's the most expensive part on your car right now? The fleshy bit in the middle with two arms, two legs.
I was like, wait, what? I'm not a big car guy. What are you talking about? Does it make a difference? And we've definitely entered the stupid question portion of this interview right now.
Well, yeah, because the beginning was just really great journalism by us. Does it matter if your driver loses 10 pounds the week before a race? Yeah, it does, actually, because we want the drivers to be like jockeys.
They've got to be a consistent weight over the weekend because we ballast the car because it's a combined weight between the driver and the car so if the driver loses you know 10 kilos then we're in trouble because you know if he hasn't told us so we're constantly weighing these guys they get weighed after breakfast they get weighed before they get in the car they get weighed after they get out the car because you know they spend more time on the scales than anybody else i know because we have to have them a consistent you know weight yeah so how does that work over the course of a race because i would imagine if you're competing in uh austin texas or miami it's going to be hot out it's a long race probably lose a lot of water weight over the course of it yeah the car then handle differently because of that it won't handle differently but we have to take that into account with the weight that we start with. So the driver, somewhere like Singapore, will lose two kilos through just sweating.
So you have to compensate that with the weight that you put in the car for the end of the race. So since we're an American sports podcast, this probably won't get picked up internationally, but who do you hate the most on the circuit? Who do I hate the most in what, in Formula 1? Yeah, yeah.
You can just say whatever, because no one will ever write up a story. Nobody will ever hear this, will they? We're very small.
No, no, no. I love everybody.
Yeah. I love everybody.
I love everybody.

I don't have any enemies in Formula One.

Do you, though,

the guys on the other teams, do you have any relationship

off camera or

maybe go out to dinner at the

end of the season? Or is it true

like, hey, this is a rivalry. I want to beat you

and I'm not going to be friendly

with you no matter what? Look, we're not playing chess with each other. I mean, it's a rivalry.
And I am a great believer that you can't fake things. You know, it's real.
So, yeah, I won't be spending Christmas with Toto Wolf. That's for sure.
What about Toto? Because I know that you've had a little back and forth with him recently you hired away a bunch of his top guys right and he's upset that you're spending money do you feel bad for paying his people more than he was going to pay them not at all not at all he's he's a cheap guy you know he should have paid them more in the first place they never left that's a fair point what's what's the size difference between like a red bull racing team and one of the lower teams like in terms of just general staff i think what we're on the bigger end obviously i mean we're one of the bigger teams i mean he's sorry uh compared to a mercedes they're bigger they're probably the biggest team probably followed by ourselves mercedes over a thousand people just on the chassis we're probably, 850. I think Ferrari are quite similar.
Wow. That's a lot of people.
And when was the last time you got the itch to just say, fuck it, I'm going to drive? Probably about 25 years ago. Yeah.
Yeah. No, I started my life as a driver.
That's how I, how I started. And, um, I quickly recognized that my talent was not behind the wheel.
Um, so, but it was a great education for me. I love driving the cars.
I love, you know, I drove here in Monaco. I drove in the category just below formula one and, um, it was a great education.
Yeah. Um, so, uh, this is a really stupid question, but I respect the fact that you pull off being a pinky ring guy um was that just yeah has that been your whole life you've been a pinky ring guy well what is the definition of a pinky ring guy to you guys i mean over you know obviously i think it's just wearing it with confidence because i've always wanted to rock a pinky ring and i've dabbabbled.
I've put it on. And I just don't feel confident where I see you and I'm like, that guy, he's confident in his pinky ring.
Absolutely. I mean, I think you should give it a go.
I mean, if you came over here and you didn't have one, you would think you were slightly old. How long have you been rocking it? Your whole life? Yeah, I think 18.
Since I was 18. That's an early start because now it's like part of who you are.
Yeah. You know what? Nobody's ever asked me that question in my life before, so that's a new one.
I like that. We pride ourselves on doing that on this podcast whenever we have a guest on.
Yeah, yeah. I would assume we're a little different than the F1 media, yeah.
So, wait. Speaking of age, for people who don't know your backstory backstory you took over red bull at a pretty young age you you four world titles was you know was that looking back on it were you like man this is not easy but like this is awesome i keep winning world titles and now the last few years have been a little more difficult with mercedes um look i I came in, I was 31 when I took on the job.

You know, we worked really hard to get into a championship position.

We then won the championships for four years in a row.

I think I was the youngest guy to win a Formula One championship

as a team principal.

And then Mercedes came along with their juggernaut,

and they've raised the bar.

They've done an amazing job the last seven years, and we've been fighting to get ourselves back into a competitive position. You know, we're, we're getting there, you know, this year we're getting pretty close to them and that's, that's great.
That's great for the whole team. It's great for Honda.
It's great for our partners. It's great for the sport to suddenly have two guys at the top of their game going, going head to head.
Do you have any superstitions on race day?

Any patterns that you do all the time?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I got loads.

I had them from when I was driving.

So nobody listens to this podcast today.

No one.

It's just us.

I'm not going to get help.

We're not even recording.

Right, okay.

I've got two I can probably share with you.

I have a lucky pair of underwear.

Okay.

You know, that's won several races and championships. And I have this really bad one of, I have like a lucky toilet at each track we go to.
And I have to make sure that I go for a pee in that lucky toilet before the race.

Now, if there's like in Brazil, most places it's okay because we've got our own motor home and it's fine.

But somewhere like Brazil, 25 toilets, 24 of them are empty.

And the lucky one is full.

You look kind of weird hanging around the toilets waiting to go to your lucky toilet.

No, I get that.

So they bring the same toilets. It's like Kim Jong jong-un they had his toilet train that they drive the toilet everywhere i mean we go to different right you know when we come to austin i'll pick one you know one toilet and yeah okay that's my lucky toilet for the weekend does your team does your team oh does your team know it changes from race to race i don't take the same yeah yeah know, like, hey, where's Christian? Where's the boss? Like, oh, he must be held up waiting for his lucky toilet.
I don't know about that. You know, so, well, you guys don't want to know about this superstition.
So, you know, they wouldn't have a clue. Okay.
I'm very curious about the toilet. How do you decide which one is going to be the one that week? Does it just speak to you? Guys, sorry, this is going to be the last question.
Okay, cool. That's miserable.
I was enjoying this. Well, look, I might try a few during the different practice sessions and the one that we're the quickest in, I will then adopt for the rest of the weekend.
Perfect. The fastest toilet.
That is unbelievable. Christian, I know you're a very busy man.
We appreciate appreciate it hopefully this wasn't too painful for you i we try to do look i enjoyed it you guys should come to a race you should come and find about the world of formula one i would love to go to monaco this weekend is there a too fat for driving the car and too tall because i think i don't even think i would fit in the car no on i i think unfortunately you fit both of those categories the xl car if you got an xl car i'll come to a race all right okay no problem all right thanks so much good luck this weekend all right all the best christian horner is brought to you guys by our great friends at sport clips love sport clips i have an appointment scheduled at sport clips for the Monday after the regular

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Now we got FireFest of the Week coming up. FireFest of the Week is brought to you by 3Chi.
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Okay.

Fire Fest of the week.

Let's end the week strong, boys. Again, we got Biz Nasty on the show on Monday.

Get excited for that.

Hank.

I mean, we talked about it.

Do you have anything to be upset about? Hank you also want to match it oh wait it's just so much worse every time he tries to help him he can't help it it gets so much worse and he just alpha'd me too yeah he did because Hank beat you it's okay I swept Hank time. I wanted Hank to have some confidence going into this match against Jake.
Yeah. No, but yeah, I'm just down really bad.
Not getting invited to live streams. The live streams that I put on, just getting dominated in.
This kid, Brendan McGrath, though, he just DMed me that he was one point away, from winning $500 today so I'll dedicate my Fyre Fest to him that is tough if you had played just like a little bit better he would have got that money I know one more point that's tough is that it? yeah that's it I'm sorry Hank should we just have all of our Fyre Fest should we just Fyre Fest of the week. I'm sorry, Hank.
Should we just have all of our Fyre Fest? Should we just donate them all to Hank for this week? Yeah, I'm sorry, Hank. Because I think what I'm about to say just like pales in comparison to what Hank is going through right now.
Yeah. It's like showing up to a funeral with a stubbed toe and being like, oh, my pinky toe hurts.
I didn't do anything, but I'm just sorry. For your losses.
Well, you put the broadcast. I did not.

I did not.

Come on.

Please.

I wish I had.

You guys tweeted it.

Couldn't have been.

I mean, I don't think the broadcast.

I don't even think the moment was over before PFT tweeted it.

I was sitting in the booth just going, please someone get that for my personal use right now.

His disgusting ass computer tweeted a video, like a screen recording, like an alien.

Is your computer disgusting? It's got some dust on it. sure.
I mean, whose doesn't? It's used. I use my computer.
I work on it. Sorry, Hank.
You're good. I also did you a favor because I didn't want people harassing you, asking you when the show was going to come out tonight, because that's something that I know really gets under your skin.
So I told them, do not harass you specifically. And instead ask Jake, your boss, when the show is coming out.
I didn't do that to get any thanks from you, nor do I expect any. But I just want to say I was looking out for you and maybe put some respect on my computer screen.
I will not. Okay.
I'll do no such thing. Hank, if I could boop you like a dog, I would.
It's not your fault. It's not your fault.
I could use it. I could really use it right now.
Boop? Jake, boop him. No.
Jake, boop him. He just said that he could use a boop.
Give him a quick boop. Just a quick boop.
Just a quick boop. Oh, it's so bad.
It's so bad. He gave me a finger that's better than what he gave me in there when I was trying to help him out.
All right. All right.
PFT, what's yours? My Fyre Fest of the week is that Tom Brady leadership the hell out of me. Oh, yeah.
I forgot. Tom Brady turned me into a Tom Brady believer yesterday.
Yeah. So I made a cheap joke about him losing money in Bitcoin.
Cheap joke. What? It was a really cheap joke.
I just said it was. I know.
I just reiterated. Do you want to do my FireFest thing? Do you want me to? Yeah.
Yeah, sure. Okay.
So Tom Brady cheated me. I made a really, really, really bad joke.
I did. I did.
I did. Oh, wow.
Hank, you're not allowed to say that. I thought you wanted me to do your FireFest.
No, you're not allowed to say that because Tom Brady is the only one who's allowed to judge my jokes anymore so I made a bad I want to get out of this room so bad right now I made a bad joke and Tom Brady said that SMH I've seen better from you PFT over here we just buy the dip and at first I was like a little offended by it but then I was like wait a second tom brady just said that he's seen better from me so he expects more out of me and then i started to expect more out of myself because tom brady the legend sees more in me than i do in myself right and i realized i am basically julian edelman right now yeah like he just leadership the hell out of me he got you and now i'm now tom brady is my my leader correctman right now. Yeah.
Like, he just leadershiped the hell out of me. He got you.
He got you going. Now Tom Brady is my leader.
Correct. He's a winner.
Yeah. You're ready to go.
I'm ready to roll. You're ready to suit up for the Bucs.
I'm ready to roll. Ready to roll.
Ready to roll. Sorry, Hank.
You're good. Sorry that you're feeling.
Good firepast. Sorry that you're lashing out at me.
Not at all. And I'm sorry that Tom Brady's never interacted with you on Twitter, even though you went to jail for him.
That's not true. I think he thinks it's every year.
He did a few days ago on the anniversary. Did he? Yeah.
Oh, okay. I'll just look it up on his Twitter account.
It should be there, no problem. I think it was an Instagram comment, if you really want to get into the nitty-gritty.
Are you one of his high school friends or one of his college friends when he says it's like having to? High school. Okay.
No, it's not online. I think you're family.

Who knows?

All right.

My FireFest is pretty simple.

I realized this week because it's nice.

It's getting warmer.

I'm starting to get... Oh, that's the other thing.

I'm fat.

I'm skinny and I'm fat.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So riddle me that.

What?

Riddle me that.

How are you skinny fat?

I don't think you're fat.

Let me see your stomach. i'll show you offline we have to like hank well hank you need to get a room that like blocks all of our cell phones so no one could take pictures and no one can send anything and just we'll do it there well hank's lashing out at people online he's saying how much money quigs would have in his account if he didn't sell his Dogecoin.
How is that a lash out? You're just mad, Hank. I'm just stating facts.
Hank, it's okay to be mad. Oh, wait, he sold his Dogecoin? Hank, it's okay to be mad.
Oh, I thought that's how much money he had. Let it out.
I didn't realize he sold it. Let it all out, Hank.
He doesn't have any of that money. Hank, you just want to roast us for the rest of the show? No.
I think you guys are doing great. Thanks, Hank.
Alright, my fire fest is I need to up my grill game. I suck at grilling.
I realize that. Sucks.
As a guy, as a dad, you gotta be better at grilling. I'm not bad.
I'm just not, like, all the way there. You know what I mean? I'm the guy who can cook a steak well, but if you give me...
Medium plus. Yeah, medium rare plus.
But if you give me chicken, I get nervous that I'm going to undercook it, so I overcook it every time. Yeah, chicken's a tricky little bird.
It's a nervous bird. Yeah, right.
So I need to up my grill game. So anyone who's got tips for me, like what do I got to buy? What do I got to do? I don't know.
Whatever. Just give me some tips.
Start easy. Start with hamburgers.
No, I know how to cook them. I'm saying like I want to up my game.
I want to become like, holy shit, how do you cook that on the grill? That was incredible. Yeah.
Okay. So I need someone to tell me how to like really up my game.
Here's what you do. It's like a little hack.
You cook it oven so i assume you can like set a temperature roast it for a little bit if it's like a steak yeah it's like a nice piece of meat i don't want this sounds too much no you don't it's easy you just cook it in there then you take it out to the grill and the grill's hot as shit and you just put it on each side for a little bit yeah but i don't bring it and then you tell people it's grilled but then oh okay and then you're're like, see, look at this. And it's got the grill marks.

It's got a nice little crust on the outside.

I don't know. I'm just open to any.

I know barbecue Twitter is a terrible place to be,

but I am coming to you and saying, please help.

And I'm ready to go.

I'm ready to become the guy who can really be proud of his grilling.

Jake.

I can't get this certain Peter Griffin laugh out of my head.

What is it? How? Peter! That's been sucking my head. I've been humming it all week.
So your fire fest is that you're too happy. Yeah, that's when something's stuck in your head.

Yeah.

I mean, dude, I walk around with Elmo playing in my head all the time.

And Bluey, right? Yeah, but Elmo's

the worst. Yeah.

So, yeah.

Okay, that sounds like a pretty good week.

Pretty bad.

Let's send everyone on their way.

18.

Give me a 99

8 again

Andres Karolinko

What's that?

47

Hank please get this

73

Watch be 18

9

Looks like 9

Is that 8?

Is that 8?

No

Does not qualify

Does not qualify

What's gonna be a 6?

What's gonna be a six? What's going to be a six? 46. 46.
A one-off. Oh, no.
Come on. Just like in play ball school today.
That's not right. That's your extra point.
That's not right. That's not right.
46 first timer. Did you say 47, Hank? Animal slash journalism or no? The worst part is that I have been doing in order, just counting up.
And I don't know if I did 46 or 45 last time. Oh, man.
Animal or journalism? Let's do animal. Let Hank pick.
Hank, animal or journalism?

Let's just end the show.

Okay, let's see you on Monday.

Love you guys.

I've heard enough of Jake today. Bye.
Thank you. Now you can be a better man for your brand new girl Well good for you, you look happy and healthy Not me, if you ever cared to ask Good for you, you're doing great, I'll do it without me Baby, gotta wish me life through that I've lost my mind, I've spent the night Crying on the floor of my bedroom You're so affected, I really don't get it

But I guess good for you

Good for you

Good for you, I guess you're getting everything you want

You're running a car and your career's really taking off It's like you never even happened, baby What the fuck is up with that? And good for you, it's like you never even met me Remember when you swore to God I was the only person who ever got you? Well, screw that, screw you You will never have to hurt the way you know that I do Well, good for you, you look happy Help me not be if you're ever scared to ask Good for you, you're doing great out there without me Baby, you gotta rest in life through that Maybe I'm too emotional Your apathy is like a wounded soul Maybe I'm too emotional. Your apathy is like a wound in salt.

Maybe I'm too emotional.

Maybe you never can at all.

But for you, you're too great.

I'm there without faith.

Like a damn sociopath.

I've lost my mind.

I've spent the night crying on the floor of my bathroom.

You're so affected.

I really don't care.

But I'm good for you.

Good for you.

Good for you.