Brooks Koepka, Play In Games Night 1, NHL Playoffs, And Uncle Chaps Reads Roasts

1h 35m

Play in Game night was a dud as the Pacers rolled the Hornets and Jayson Tatum put a burger up on Russell Westbrick and the Wizards (2:56 - 9:17). Stanley Cup playoffs (9:17 - 18:40) Kwame Browns has officially changed his legacy and Tony LaRussa is the last great guardian of unwritten rules (18:40 - 30:43). Hot Seat/Cool Throne including Shohei Ohtani being incredible and politicians pretending to like sports (30:42 - 56:12). Brooks Koepka joins the show ahead of the PGA Championship to talk about his new goatee, a terrible picture that was taken of him and more (56:12 - 72:04). We finish with the return of our good friend Uncle Chaps and listener submitted roasts.


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Runtime: 1h 35m

Transcript

Speaker 1 Hey, Pardon My Take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.

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Speaker 1 On today's part of my take, we have our good, good friend, best friend, Brooks Kepka, head of the PGA Championship,

Speaker 1 his new goatee.

Speaker 1 A bad picture that was taken of him on Tuesday. We discuss it all.
We have the NBA playing game night one.

Speaker 1 Stanley Cup playoffs are still going on. Hot seat, cool thrown.
Kwame Brown has basically changed his entire,

Speaker 1 I don't know, good name in in the course of a day and a half of Instagram lives.

Speaker 3 You know what he did? He reclaimed his name. Yeah, he reclaimed his name.

Speaker 1 I think he proved it. Yeah, and then we have our good friend Uncle Chaps on the show to do some listener roasts and some motivation from big time Tommy.

Speaker 4 Okay, before we get to all that, when cool, creamy ranch meets tangy, bold buffalo, the hole is greater than the sum of its sauce.

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Speaker 1 Okay, let's go.

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Speaker 1 And then I can't blame all on the sun. Oh no, we're gonna rock it down to Electric

Speaker 1 It's part of my take presented by Barstool Sports.

Speaker 1 Welcome to Pardon My Take.

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Speaker 1 Day,

Speaker 1 May 19th, and the Washington Wizards have been eliminated from the playoffs.

Speaker 3 Not true.

Speaker 1 Oh, shit. Not true.

Speaker 3 You almost have it. The play-in,

Speaker 3 they lost tonight to the Celtics, to Hank Celtics. So they've earned the right.
The loser plays the one seed, which is the Indiana Pacers, who scored like 170 points tonight.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the Hornets did not want to show up. I am going to be, I've decided I'm not going to be Mr.
No Fun. I'll just let the play-in game happen.
I'm not going to tweet that this is stupid.

Speaker 1 I'm just going to sit here and be right in my silence because this was stupid.

Speaker 3 So I agree, it was stupid. It was very stupid.

Speaker 1 The Hornets didn't want to play. Stevie A.

Speaker 3 Smith voice. However, if they were two close games, you'd be like, the point-in game was the best idea.

Speaker 1 Right, but I had the take before, and I, I mean, yeah, I still would have probably said it was stupid. Either way, Jason Tatum is awesome.

Speaker 3 He's a play-in legend. 50 Burger.
Is he play-in Tates?

Speaker 1 He might be.

Speaker 3 Play-in T.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And, well, that was it.
That's all the play-in that you'll get if you're a Celtics fan. That was it.
They're now in. They are in.

Speaker 1 And then Russell Westbrook.

Speaker 1 unbelievable. That's end of the season, triple-double.
And holy fuck, did he suck? I really do think it is. This is one of those things.

Speaker 1 I know he wears the sleeves almost all the time, I think, at this point of his career, but

Speaker 1 it is, it's like a fat reliever. When a fat reliever comes in and he does well, he is powerful.
When he does poorly, he's fat.

Speaker 1 When Russell Westbrook puts up a triple-double with sleeves on, it's cool, it's awesome. When he comes in and he shoots like four for 16, it's like, dude, why you got sleeves on?

Speaker 3 He looked like a defensive back from like the late 80s when they would rock all the elbow pads and stuff. It doesn't look comfortable.

Speaker 3 I feel like that would mess up your shot a little bit, but it's Russell Westbrook. He went 66.
He probably knows better than I do. Bradley Beal didn't play that great either.
Just not a great showing.

Speaker 3 The Wizards are not built for the play-ins, their regular season team. But it spins on, we do get another game of play in basketball in Washington.

Speaker 1 So the Wizards.

Speaker 1 I'm looking right now. The Wizards, going three for 21 from 3 is, that's something in the NBA because everyone can make shots in the NBA.
So that was probably,

Speaker 1 besides Tatum's 50 burger was the top line of the night, and then three for 21 from 3 is the secondary line of oof, that's something.

Speaker 6 I also think anytime Robin Lopez is like your go-to guy,

Speaker 6 you're probably not going to win that game.

Speaker 1 Doing the post moves on everyone's eyes.

Speaker 3 Robin Lopez is playing like above 32 minutes a game.

Speaker 3 I don't know what the saber metrics are on that, but like for the course of his career, you probably are losing a good 65% of those games. Yeah.

Speaker 3 I just thought it was a little bit classless on Boston's part. They were out there like throat punching, scraping necks.

Speaker 3 Burton's almost got killed out there.

Speaker 1 I mean, it was like Richard Smith.

Speaker 6 That didn't stop the game. The Wizards didn't even call a timeout.
One of their own guys was basically choking out on the floor.

Speaker 1 He was

Speaker 1 dying.

Speaker 6 He basically grazed the guy's hand and fell down.

Speaker 3 I think Burton's has, is it Bertan's? Burton's? I think he's got hemophilia to see at the king's head because his neck just turned like all sorts of red afterwards.

Speaker 1 He looked like he got in a fight with a cat. Yeah.
Which I, if I had gotten in a fight with a cat, we all know. Throat would have killed it, grabbed it by its tail, windpipe.

Speaker 6 Is the game tonight or do they get another day off?

Speaker 1 They get another day off. Thursday night.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Thursday night. So tonight is the Lakers Warriors game at 10 p.m.

Speaker 6 I have a solution, big cat. Mike Greenberg's dumb rule.
All the play-in games happen on one night. So you got to play two games.

Speaker 1 Oh, I like that. Okay, perfect.
I like that. AAU.
Yeah, an afternoon game and a night game.

Speaker 3 That would break YouTube.

Speaker 1 I, boys. Like us.
So it's playoff season. I'm like trying to work myself back.

Speaker 1 You know, like when it comes to this podcast and just sports watching seasons, football season, we're so locked in, and it's like every night, late nights.

Speaker 1 Then you get March Madness, same thing, college basketball. There was an

Speaker 1 elongated gap this year because of the late starting playoffs where I got into a nice rhythm of, like, hey, I might go to sleep at 9:30 tonight. This is nice.
Catch up on a little Z's.

Speaker 1 So I'm out of rest.

Speaker 1 I'm out of shape in that respect. I thought about doing this.
I don't know if I'm going to. You guys can make fun of me.

Speaker 1 I was thinking about watching the first half of the Warriors Lakers tomorrow night and then DVRing the second half and watching it when it wakes up.

Speaker 3 You're halfway to being Mike Greenberg. That is.

Speaker 1 No, no, that's Tony Kornheis. Kornheiser is

Speaker 3 for sure. Greenberg, I think he has like his PAs that cut it up.

Speaker 1 I'm not not going to do it.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it.
But the thought crossed my mind, and I think that's the first step of just being like, I have now fully given up.

Speaker 3 I don't think that you'd have the same takes, though. Like, the blood flows differently at night when you're watching the games.
If you do it, what you have to do is

Speaker 3 you have to live tweet it the next morning as you're watching it live

Speaker 3 and just say like no spoilers, please.

Speaker 1 Okay, so maybe I'll do that. But because I do wake up at 7 a.m., so that's exactly what I'll do.

Speaker 6 If only there was a place where, you know, games could end earlier, and for the people that wake up early, they start a little bit earlier, too.

Speaker 6 Talking about California A.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay.

Speaker 3 We do have some expert analysis coming in for tomorrow night's game. What do you guys think? Do you think it's going to be the Steph Curry show?

Speaker 1 Sure. Neither team gets eliminated.
Both teams will beat the Spurs or the Grizzlies.

Speaker 3 So here's what's going to happen.

Speaker 3 Skip Bayless predicts, I expect Steph Curry, hounded by two or three Lakers every possession, to go two of 14 from three tomorrow night at Staples, and I expect the Lakers to win by 20.

Speaker 3 So that's expert level, Skip.

Speaker 1 And that would be great for me because I'll just go to sleep.

Speaker 3 Ahead of the story. Yeah.
And that way, when the Lakers win by 14, Skip Bayless already thinks that LeBron James is a disappointment this playoff season.

Speaker 1 That's true. That's true.
He didn't live up to the expectations.

Speaker 1 So, all right, so playing game night one,

Speaker 1 we have Stanley Cup playoffs are still going on, or are still like the first round.

Speaker 3 The regular season is still going on. See, regular season is still going on.

Speaker 1 There's actually a game today at 1 o'clock, but the Bruins in the. Hank just snuck a fry with the the mic on

Speaker 1 the Bruins and Caps played another overtime game and I have a question for you fellas

Speaker 1 is it better to

Speaker 1 go to overtime maybe go to double overtime have that like holy shit this game will never end or have what happened in game two overtime starts goal right away see you

Speaker 6 what happened in game two yeah easily easily because I literally missed it taking a shit I'm not joking I came out and it was I was I was like oh oh, okay.

Speaker 1 I told you I was kind of upset. It does suck for a second because you waited that like 20 minutes in between periods.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and then you kind of I think last I think game two for the Caps Bruins was a little too quick if you could get like four minutes because then you're like there was a little bit of an overtime.

Speaker 3 That was it was just boom. I'm honestly fine with that because the longer it goes on like watching overtime hockey we talk about all the time it sucks if one of your teams is involved.

Speaker 3 I would rather have it just be over early. That way I don't even get like an expectation that, hey, maybe we might win.
I don't have a shot that like hits off the post.

Speaker 3 And then I'm like, if that had just gone a quarter inch to the other side, we would have won that game. There's no looking back.
It's like, okay,

Speaker 3 it's basically just a loss at this point. What I don't like is first-round overtime hockey playoff games.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Because you just, you constantly think to yourself, you have so many more of these series to get to. Yes.
And we're already playing extra hot. Slog.

Speaker 6 But this guy would won Stanley Cup and all of a sudden he's just

Speaker 1 you do have to

Speaker 1 you have to build up. Like we talk, you know, it's it's about the ride.
You can't you can't lose like all your energy and use all of your like mojo, karma, rooting energy on a first-round series. Yes.

Speaker 6 Yeah, but sometimes it takes a little bit, it takes a few overtime wins for a team to find its mojo to learn how they keep it rolling

Speaker 1 versus

Speaker 6 if they dominate 4-0 sweep and then all of a sudden they're going to fuck second round.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So for the hockey fans out there, we will have the Chick-lick guys are going to be in the office, I think, this week.

Speaker 1 So we'll have Biz on on Sunday, and then we'll have Whitney on throughout the playoffs as well. So don't worry.

Speaker 1 The one thing that I think I'm out of practice because last year was so weird, and we had like NBA playoffs and hockey playoffs going on during football season starting.

Speaker 1 So it was like football's king. We're not arguing this.

Speaker 1 I did not miss the annual springtime tradition of hockey and basketball Twitter and everyone being really annoying, being like, how are you not watching this hockey game?

Speaker 1 How are you not watching this basketball game? Hey, guess what, guys? I got some news for you. I have multiple TVs.

Speaker 3 Oh, sick brag.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's true.

Speaker 1 Hank, you also have multiple TVs?

Speaker 1 Three. Confirmed.
Three. I like both of them.

Speaker 3 You're going to ask me how many TVs I have? Do you have two? I have multiple screens.

Speaker 1 Okay, congrats on having your laptop on the screen.

Speaker 3 I have many screens.

Speaker 6 Your TV is smarter than you, too.

Speaker 7 What do you mean?

Speaker 6 The ESPN Plus? Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 1 Your TV is a small screen. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 I'm in a mental chess match against several apps and just against like Google AirPlay. It's not going well.
I'm losing.

Speaker 1 Let's say, even I didn't. Let's say I was

Speaker 1 a Neanderthal and only had one screen. Call it PFT.
It couldn't be me. No, no, he's got PFT.

Speaker 1 He's confirmed.

Speaker 3 No, I said screens, Hank.

Speaker 1 It's okay to like both sports. I'm going to start that.
I'm going to start that trend. You can can like both sports.
You can like playoffs. I like liking both sports.
Yeah, it's okay.

Speaker 1 Just because you're a hockey guy doesn't have to be like, why the fuck would you watch NBA playoffs? Just because you're an NBA guy doesn't mean you have to say hockey is the worst sport ever.

Speaker 1 You can like both sports at the same time.

Speaker 3 I like whichever sport I'm currently watching at that point. That's the sport I like more.
The best game. And then when I go back, I like that other sport more.

Speaker 1 It's a novel idea. We need to, you know what we need to do? We need to unionize the like both sports crew because

Speaker 1 we get completely washed away by the diehards on either side. This is actually, I'm fixing America if you're just really paying attention.

Speaker 1 The people in the middle who are basically saying, hey, I kind of just like sports. Stand up for yourself.
Say it's okay.

Speaker 1 When you see someone attacking you saying, how are you not watching the ads versus the wild? Guess what, dude? I am, or maybe I'm watching a basketball game. It's better at this moment.

Speaker 3 It's okay to live in the middle. It's okay.
But sometimes it's the people that are on the farthest degrees

Speaker 3 to the opposite sides that are the loudest. yeah and they have the takes that get heard the most i also just love the

Speaker 1 one last thing about this i love the idea of a diehard hockey guy who loves hockey playoff hockey so much or basketball they love their sport so much they spend the entire game policing people on twitter tweeting about the other sport that's how you can tell like you should actually lock in you should actually be watching the game i might

Speaker 3 what about what about the guy that's tweeting about baseball yeah imagine a kerabis imagine that if you were just tweeting about baseball during these games how like you would would just get it from all of us.

Speaker 1 I watched the Cubs game tonight, too. Oh, you know what?

Speaker 3 You know what's fucking back right now?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 We've got time-lapse season.

Speaker 1 We've got floor changes.

Speaker 3 We've got floor changes.

Speaker 3 I wish that the Rangers had made it to the playoffs if Tom Wilson didn't own their franchise and drive them out of the league because the MSG, the Mecca floor change would be, that is really the one that I'm looking forward to the most.

Speaker 3 When that comes back. Uh-huh.
But speaking of Tom Wilson, Hank, would you like to apologize for what you've done to my sweet boy? And how just he gets he gets all these calls against him all the time.

Speaker 3 He got called for embellishment when you hooked him, you shoved a stick up his ass, you did that, and you dragged him down.

Speaker 1 You did that? No.

Speaker 3 What needs to happen is we need to give Tom Wilson positive reinforcement, I think. Who's we? He's gotten so much negative reinforcement.

Speaker 3 We, as a society, Hank, if you're a real hockey fan, then you would know that what Tom Wilson does is he plays the game the right way. He plays it hard.

Speaker 3 He plays aggressively like they used to back in the day. But the negative stuff, the negative reinforcement hasn't worked on it.
Gotta go.

Speaker 3 I would say, I would do it like De Blasio does, and he gets shake shack for every time he doesn't hit a guy in the face with a stick.

Speaker 3 And it's gotten to the point where now our guys are getting hit in the face with sticks, and they're getting penalties for it because of Tom Wilson's reputation. You feel good about yourself, Hank?

Speaker 6 You should feel bad about yourself. That's your own, you know.

Speaker 1 Blame your ownership.

Speaker 3 Blame your GM. No, maybe get him off the team.
The pussy is a good one.

Speaker 6 You literally just admitted that having him on your team is putting a target on your other good players.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but that's fine.

Speaker 3 Sometimes you have to have a target if you want to play with a chip on your shoulder.

Speaker 6 So I can't tell. Do you want to target or do you want to?

Speaker 3 I would like some fairness from the NHL. I'm about to issue a statement to get it.
But then you have no chip on your shoulder.

Speaker 3 I'm about to write up a statement decrying the horrific acts of violence that have befallen upon our sweet Tom Wilson and incastigating the league

Speaker 3 for the lack of attention. It's not fair.
It's not fair.

Speaker 1 Jake, sorry about your Panthers going down 0-2.

Speaker 8 Sorry, long series.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 2-0.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but that was home ice, so no, it won't be.

Speaker 1 Lightning will probably

Speaker 3 they'll finish that off.

Speaker 8 Yeah. Sweep.

Speaker 1 Sawgrass Mills vibe. Awesome first game.

Speaker 3 First game was just like fights.

Speaker 1 Goals. You can fight goal.

Speaker 1 When a hockey game

Speaker 1 just is played wide open end-to-end and just guys are fucking flying around. That is...
Now I'm sounding like a hockey guy. That is really the best.
That is the best.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 3 I have a Mike Greenberg's dumb rules. And this will tell you just how stupid we are when it comes to hockey.
We were talking about this in the room.

Speaker 3 It might have been before you guys got in here actually so me and jeff low we were watching the vegas game jeff d'low jeff d'low okay make sure you please say which one it is uh and we were talking about how how like scared the cap schoolie looks anderson the third string guy he's in he's 40 years old looks very out of his element looks just he looks like i feel bad for him because it looks like he uh knows that he's kind of put in an imposter situation And everybody else kind of realizes it at the same time.

Speaker 3 Like this, you can't expect anything out of this guy, but he can't escape it. He has to be out there on the ice.

Speaker 3 Is there a rule that would prevent a team from just laying down all their players, like, stomach to back, stomach to back, in front of the goal in the crease on defense?

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 maybe, maybe not. No, yeah, there's got to be a crease rule.

Speaker 3 Is there?

Speaker 3 You can't do the big stack.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, this is kind of like the

Speaker 1 sumo wrestler. It's just the law of physics.
Yeah, or get a sumo wrestler to sit in the goal. Well, there's sit down.

Speaker 3 There's that, but I don't think the sumo wrestler could cover up the entire surface area of the goal. But if

Speaker 3 he had everybody just going

Speaker 3 laying down on each other's backs.

Speaker 6 What happens when they just start ripping slap shots at him?

Speaker 3 It's playoff hockey.

Speaker 3 You got to block some shots. Sacrifice your body for the team.

Speaker 1 That would suck. Yeah.

Speaker 6 That would suck. For 60 minutes?

Speaker 3 No, like, we were talking about it in an end-of-game situation.

Speaker 1 Yeah, park the bus.

Speaker 3 Yeah, kind of how there was that NBA Reddit thread of, like, why don't players just hold hands and form a circle around Steph Curry and then walk down the court and he gets an open shot every time?

Speaker 3 Which I still don't know a reason why that wouldn't work.

Speaker 1 Still doesn't make any sense. It should absolutely work.

Speaker 3 Just have just have a guys meeting in the crease. Why not?

Speaker 1 Yeah. All right.
Well, quick, quick word for us about the

Speaker 1 shout out to Tony LaRusa, who is keeping, he is the last bastion of unwritten rules in baseball.

Speaker 1 So if you missed it, Yerman Mercedes hit a home run in a 14-5 game with a position player pitching 47 miles an hour off a 3-0 pitch, and obviously everyone was like, that was sick.

Speaker 1 I would do the same thing if I were him. Why not get your stats?

Speaker 1 Tony LaRussa said that's wrong.

Speaker 1 He told him to take the pitch, and he said he's going to have to deal with that with the family. Yeah, he said.
With Cosa Nostra.

Speaker 3 So what he said was he made a mistake. There will be a consequence he has to endure here within our family.

Speaker 1 It sounds like he wants to spank him.

Speaker 3 I think Tony LaRussa is.

Speaker 1 Or whack him. He's their father.
Yes. Yes.

Speaker 1 I just want to remind people, because I saw the public outcry against Tony LaRussa, and I get it.

Speaker 1 But I want to remind people, if you chase off every single guy who is holding up the unwritten rules, eventually we will, like, society will crumble. You need the old guy yelling at clouts.

Speaker 1 You need the Tony LaRussa being like, that was Bush League for his own team.

Speaker 3 Because then we can have the counterbalance of shut up Tony LaRussa this is fun yeah Tony LaRussa he serves kind of as an ombudsman for his own team it doesn't sound like he's their manager it just sounds like he because he's taking the side of the opponent right i do agree with you about like if you don't have tony la russa doing that then we don't have a lot to talk about in baseball between may and like late july i'm also very excited for tony the white socks are very good and so tony la russa like he could win a l manager of the year so which would be so funny I'm just going to take it one step further.

Speaker 3 Could you blame Tony LaRussa for sending his players out there to bat in a game? Like, isn't he kind of showing up the opponent?

Speaker 1 He should have just called him.

Speaker 3 Because what he could have done, he could have forced them to bat out of order.

Speaker 3 Then you get it out, and then the other team can be on their merry little way.

Speaker 1 Or they all should have just bunted and not ran to first base.

Speaker 3 That's also kind of showing up, though, if you bunt. You got to be careful when you bunt, too.
But yeah, it's on Tony. Wait for rain.
It's on Tony.

Speaker 3 You can get your team out of that mess.

Speaker 3 And also, I happened to notice, so they're up 12 games on the Twins right now, and yet LaRusso fielded a team tonight, just running up the score and the division on them.

Speaker 1 Do you know what they should do is they should let all the bullpen hit in these situations? So, if a team puts in a position player, then the other team has to respond with only pitchers batting.

Speaker 3 That would be cool. How do you think that conversation went with Tony? Do you think he was like, hey, don't do that?

Speaker 1 He probably waited. He probably woke up the next day and was like, wait, what happened? Oh, yeah, okay, that was bad.

Speaker 3 Yeah, wait, somebody explain it to me.

Speaker 1 But I feel like this is the ninth inning. I was on many drinks.

Speaker 3 I feel like Mercedes is going to be like, well,

Speaker 3 I'm not going to not swing because if, I mean, baseball is a stats game, and when it comes time for his next contract,

Speaker 3 you want home runs. Correct.
You want to hit home runs in Major League Baseball because then you get more money, which can then be exchanged for goods and services. Yes.
And property. Yes.

Speaker 3 So I feel like if I'm in Mercedes' position, what I would do, I would be like, sure, sure, Dad. Okay.
Yep. I'll never do it again.
I promise. Yes.
And then just do it again.

Speaker 1 And Mercedes is also one of those guys. He was in the minor leagues forever.
Like, he's, I think he's a 28-year-old rookie.

Speaker 1 And so.

Speaker 3 Let's, I mean, let's be clear, Tony doesn't really have a great track record in controlling Mercedes.

Speaker 1 Correct. That's true.
That one was on a T.

Speaker 1 Do you think he wouldn't be a Mercedes guy?

Speaker 1 I could see him driving. I could see him driving like a mom, like

Speaker 1 Alexis RX.

Speaker 3 In old Mercedes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, maybe.

Speaker 1 Or maybe a Volvo because he's like, guess what? This thing could get beat up.

Speaker 3 I would, yeah, like, if I, it's like when a parent has like a really irresponsible kid, they go to the dealership, they're like, I just want something that if he crashes, if he's out driving drunk, and it's always a Volvo.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's a Volvo. It's a Volvo.
Maybe a Subaru. Yeah, it's a fucking four-door Volvo.

Speaker 3 The biggest truck he can find.

Speaker 1 Yeah, don't worry about it.

Speaker 3 I feel like, no, Tony's definitely got, he's got one like everyday driver, which is beat up. It's got dents in every panel.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 And then he's got like the restoration car that he works on occasionally on weekends.

Speaker 1 And he's like, I hit a deer. It's like, what? You hit a deer? Like, dude, like, we're in Chicago.
What?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I hit a deer. All right.
Last up before we get to Hot Seat Cool Throne. Kwame Brown.
Kwame Brown needs a shout out. So if you've missed it,

Speaker 1 Steven Jackson,

Speaker 1 Gilbert Arenas, and Gilbert Renas went on Steven Jackson and Matt Barnes' podcast called All the Smoke. They basically made fun of Kwame Brown.

Speaker 1 Kwame Brown, who I feel like we haven't heard from for a very long time.

Speaker 1 And if you forget who Kwame Brown is, he was the first pick in the draft. MJ picked him.
Basically, the story goes that MJ was so hard on him that he ruined him.

Speaker 1 But when we say he ruined him, he still had a 13-year NBA career, made $63 million.

Speaker 3 I think he averaged like nine points a game.

Speaker 1 He's like six-ish.

Speaker 3 Not great not not like an outstanding nba career but i mean he lasted he made a lot of money made a shitload of money lasted a long time as kwame said i put my mama on a golf course when i was 18

Speaker 1 years old so they made fun of him uh and then kwame brown who has been the butt of a lot of jokes uh not from us for the rest not for us we've never said a single bad word about kwame brown decided to just

Speaker 1 like crush everyone including stephen a smith who got involved in this and his Instagram lives, he was just killing all of them in a hilarious way.

Speaker 1 They all have basically, I don't know if you saw, but Matt Barnes and Steven Jackson like tuck their tail and were like, hey, sorry, dude, like that was wrong of us.

Speaker 3 Gilbert tucked his tail last night, too. And then this morning, Kwame was like, me and Gilbert are okay.
We hashed it out.

Speaker 3 Gilbert's terrified of Kwame because, like, okay, Kwame might not have put up the most points.

Speaker 3 He might be, might not be a prolific scorer, but apparently he's just a badass and and he's country strong.

Speaker 1 So Gilbert posted a great screener. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. That was the best part when Gilbert, or when Kwame Brown said, you think I sucked, like, you guys all wanted Kobe to score.
Well, guess what?

Speaker 1 When he scored 81, who was setting all those picks?

Speaker 1 I was like, okay.

Speaker 3 He said, Kobe and I combined for 82 points. Yeah.
And I set all those screens for him.

Speaker 1 Yes. Some hard-ass screens.
Yeah, Gilbert Arenas told this story on his Instagram comment. He said, talking about Kwame Brown, he's like Holyfield in real life.

Speaker 1 I've got bodyguards I've seen bodyguards been put to sleep it took 20 bodyguards to take him and his brother down inside a club outside the club it was six bodyguards and then two picked three each to take on me and Larry Hughes looked at each other like so you all don't need no help because I didn't lift today so I'm not feeling all that strong so apparently they picked the wrong guy to fuck with yeah and that the happiest people in the world have to be Kwame Brown's kids right now because they're like finally dad's yelling at somebody else.

Speaker 3 But this is like,

Speaker 1 I've never seen

Speaker 1 a

Speaker 1 quicker

Speaker 1 reversal of a guy's legacy than this.

Speaker 1 He basically went from the butt of everyone's joke, you know, a bust in the eyes of he was the first overall pick, to, holy fuck, this guy doesn't fuck around and no one should fuck with him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was 24 hours.

Speaker 3 So I don't think I've ever really seen Kwame Brown in front of the media at all.

Speaker 3 Like going off, besides like one or two word answers in a post-game press conference, I had no idea what his personality was until this morning. And now I'm addicted to his live streams.

Speaker 3 And he's addicted to going live. So he's gone live, I think, seven or eight times since noon.
And what he's doing is he'll go live on his YouTube.

Speaker 3 And then he'll be like, all right, I'm going to shut this down. And then I'm going to go show Stephen A.
Jack or Stephen Jackson my mom's cooking on my IG live.

Speaker 3 And then he'll go live on IG, then flip back to YouTube live. He's addicted to the live life.
And honestly, it's like, it's about time for him. I have no idea how he was able to hide this personality.

Speaker 3 Because right now, you could take Kwame Brown and Charles Barkley, put them in a truck, because Kwame Brown's a real big truck selfie video guy.

Speaker 1 Oh my God, he's going like 70 down the highway.

Speaker 3 Never fuck with a truck selfie guy. No.

Speaker 3 And so he's, you could put him like in comedian cars getting coffee, except it's Charles Barkley and Kwame Brown talking about how youngsters these days have it so easy in the NBA.

Speaker 3 Like, forget the TNT show, which is wonderful.

Speaker 1 I think we can all agree there should at least be like 10 minutes a day of those two just going at it yeah it should be or they should just have Kwame Brown on the TNT show and just be like hey now let's just get really real because like what he said about Matt Barnes you can't come back from when he was talking about Matt Barnes and Derek Fisher and he was talking about Matt Barnes's wife he goes yeah you had a girl she chose yeah like you Derek Fisher's your mentor uh-huh like what he also was going at Stephen A.

Speaker 3 Smith because Stephen A. Smith has said some bad things about Kwame Brown in the past and they asked well first of all Kwame said Stephen A.

Speaker 3 Smith needs counseling and a toupee that's I mean he's just fucking he every single second with this guy he's got another one-liner it's amazing and then Stephen A.

Speaker 3 Smith was asked to respond on Twitter and Stephen A said I will do no such thing I will not waste my time that man is right he's been retired for years yet all of us have been guilty of getting on him from time to time he has every right to speak his mind go for it so Stephen A.

Speaker 3 Smith tucked his tail into his giant pants, and he basically said, Yeah, Kwame, I'm not going to, I can't, I will not reply to Kwame Brown except for this big statement replying to Kwame Brown.

Speaker 1 Perfect. Perfectly put, Stephen A.
Everyone is scared of him. He basically is Omar coming.
Like everyone just scattered when he started going on Instagram live.

Speaker 3 He's got huge old man energy, too. Like he's the, he is the southernest person.
Country strong. Very, very country.
Yes.

Speaker 3 He's got, he's the kind of guy that has, he probably has the cleanest sidewalk in Georgia. Yeah.
Just just like outside, perfectly manicured, sweeping it up, yelling at kids on bikes. Yep.

Speaker 1 Yep. So shout out to Kwame Brown.
We don't want any smoke. All right, let's get to hot seat cool to run.

Speaker 3 Wait, one last thing about Kwame Brown. The funniest part of the situation was he was talking about Steven Jackson.
He was like, Stephen Jackson, meet me in Seattle. Because

Speaker 3 he goes, Seattle is a mutual combat city. You don't need to sign a waiver.
Meet me up there and we'll have it out.

Speaker 3 Like, that's a guy that you don't fuck with a guy that has a robust knowledge of which cities in America are mutual combat cities, which is a thing that apparently exists. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 So, you can just say that's the new Temecula.

Speaker 1 No, in Seattle, if two people are fighting, like, the cops won't break it up. Really? Yeah, they'll let it happen.

Speaker 1 Like, unless someone's getting actually hurt, they will let, like, they won't, you know, if there's two people fighting on a sidewalk, like, they'll arrest someone, or they'll at least detain someone.

Speaker 1 The person in Seattle, right? In Seattle, like, if there's two people fighting on a sidewalk and the cops come by, they'll just, like, let it kind of end and then they walk away.

Speaker 3 How is that a thing I did not know about?

Speaker 3 I've spent a lot of time in Seattle. Yeah.
I haven't gotten into any mutual fights.

Speaker 1 I think there was a YouTube video where like some MMA fighter was like going and basically picking fights and like fucking people up. And it was like, all right, this is bad.

Speaker 3 Is it that zone that they have?

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 this has been a while.

Speaker 3 Damn. So, yeah, I guess Stephen Jackson meet Kwame Brown in Seattle? Perfect.
That's really the only way. If you're Steven Jackson, he prides himself on being like kind of a hard dude, right? Yeah.

Speaker 3 Not anymore. That's the only way that you can get respect back on your name is by, you better be in Seattle right now.

Speaker 1 And that means he should not get his respect back on his name because he shouldn't do that.

Speaker 1 And I'm advising you, Stephen Jackson, do not do that.

Speaker 3 You do not want all of the smoke. No, you do not.
And as Kwame said,

Speaker 3 the name of your podcast should be changed to, I want maybe some of the smoke sometimes.

Speaker 1 Exactly.

Speaker 1 Perfectly. All right, let's get to who's Hot Sea Cool Draw.
What's up, guys? It's Big Cat here making my Irish entrance with proper number 12 Irish whiskey. How do you make an Irish entrance you ask?

Speaker 1 It starts with a shot of proper number 12 Irish whiskey because real friends don't let friends Irish exit a party without a story to tell.

Speaker 1 Original proper number 12 is rich in a smooth blend of golden grain and single malt. Age four years in bourbon barrels.
Mix it up with some ginger ale for a classic and refreshing proper ginger.

Speaker 1 In the mood for something smooth but a little sweeter, try proper Irish apple, a delicious blend of proper's award-winning irish whiskey with crisp fresh notes of apple so get out there and make your irish entrance anything else just wouldn't be proper hank

Speaker 6 hot seat coolthrone my hot seat is philly philadelphia wow philadelphia that's that's wild stuff why did i steal that from you pfd no this is all my cool throne oh that's lit um

Speaker 6 Philly was on the... I don't know.

Speaker 1 No, I'm not doing it. No, no, don't do it.

Speaker 6 Don't do it. I can just do water and goth.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Now that's paper.

Speaker 6 Philadelphia.

Speaker 6 Philadelphia was among.

Speaker 6 They were.

Speaker 1 It's bad, Hank.

Speaker 6 They were in one of the three finalists to be Amazon's next headquarters, and basically, because the guy that's going to be the CEO after Bezos steps down, he's a Giants fan, and he basically nixed it just off the fact that

Speaker 1 Philly's trash. Oh, I love it.

Speaker 6 Like, there was an internal email that was like, me and my people would never want to live there.

Speaker 3 I really like that. I like the fact that billionaires making the most complicated business decisions of all time.
At the end of the day, sometimes it's just like, they're my rival. Yeah.

Speaker 3 That city is my rival.

Speaker 1 And Philadelphia is a beautiful city to live in.

Speaker 6 Right. $5 billion projects.

Speaker 1 All just basically like, no, you're close, but the reason we didn't choose you was solely because

Speaker 6 our CEO, future CEO, is a Giants fan.

Speaker 1 Maybe I'm just making this up. Maybe it's just recency bias because I feel like there was that big deal about Amazon maybe going to Queens, I want to say.

Speaker 1 Is Amazon just like

Speaker 1 saying we're going to build a new facility every other day?

Speaker 6 I think this might all be the same thing. There's a book that's coming out about Amazon, so this might be like a retroactive story.

Speaker 1 Got it.

Speaker 6 All around the same

Speaker 1 because I feel like Amazon has details about the sweepstakes.

Speaker 1 Ah, okay, because I was going to say Amazon has figured out like the perfect way to get cities to basically all bid for like the lowest taxes and be like, hey, please, please, please want us.

Speaker 1 And then they can just be like, nah, fuck it. We'll go somewhere else.

Speaker 3 They pretty much do like Peyton Manning free agency tours.

Speaker 3 For themselves. All I hear about it.

Speaker 3 They love being dated and having every single city in America have all the mayors spend like $250,000 putting together a proposal, just essentially like bending over for Amazon.

Speaker 3 They're like, yeah, you know what? I don't think we're going to move after it.

Speaker 1 Right. No,

Speaker 6 it was from June 2018. So this is the starter.

Speaker 1 So it was right around the same time.

Speaker 1 Make sense.

Speaker 6 Makes sense. The book is coming out, revealed.
So it's just like, you know, salt in the wound for if you're from Philly. You're like, oh, would have been great.

Speaker 1 My cool throne is Albert Pooh Holtz.

Speaker 6 Okay. The Dodgers.
He's on the Dodgers. Yeah.
Wow.

Speaker 1 Crazy. I don't know why.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Truly, wild.

Speaker 6 Truly seeing him in blue, just in general.

Speaker 1 Dodger blue.

Speaker 6 Wild. It's really strange.

Speaker 1 I don't know why he... I don't know why the Dodgers, I guess they do have some injuries, but

Speaker 1 why?

Speaker 1 Why? Why? I guess.

Speaker 3 Just to like, just as a draw, maybe?

Speaker 6 He was already there.

Speaker 1 I think it was like a situation where you just like, I don't know.

Speaker 6 Guys, my shit's already in L.A.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like, can I just pop over and get a few ABs? Yeah. Can I get healthy?

Speaker 6 Maybe I'm not going to move somewhere to play, but like if you guys, you know, I could be there in 20 minutes, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like a hookup for him, yeah.

Speaker 3 Okay, give me a call if you need like within 30 minutes of game time. If there's an emergency situation, I'll show up, I'll step in the hole, I'll take care of it.

Speaker 3 But don't expect him to practice every day, you got a hit, too.

Speaker 6 Yeah, uh, Jorge Castillo on Twitter reminded everyone that he is the last active player from Backyard Baseball 2003.

Speaker 1 Damn,

Speaker 3 that's crazy. How about that?

Speaker 1 Insane and wild.

Speaker 3 My hot seat is the 86 Mets

Speaker 3 because they no longer have the worst nosebleeds in the history of that franchise after last night when Pilar got drilled in the face.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 That was 95 miles an hour, right off the beak. He was leaking.

Speaker 1 That was a nice setup for that. You like that? Let's see that one.
You like that little zig when you zag. Yeah.

Speaker 3 It was bad. It was like for a second, when you just saw the blood pouring off his nose, actually, Frank the Tank had the best tweet about it.
He goes, hopefully it's just a bloody nose.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah, it is.
Yeah, you know, you saw the blood, so you know that at least he has a bloody nose.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but it was one of those things where you saw like 94 miles an hour show up on the score bug, the guy's down to the ground, and then he just pops up and walks off the field.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he was fucked. Playoffs.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah,

Speaker 1 hockey tough.

Speaker 1 There was also a picture. I saw a picture that someone, a photographer down in, like, you know, right by the dugout got a picture of

Speaker 1 basically the split second before he got hit in the nose. It was incredible.

Speaker 3 Do you like those? I know you like watching the interviews.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, well, it wasn't, the ball had not contacted him. His eyes were fully

Speaker 1 closed, and it was just ready to fucking smash.

Speaker 3 He knew it was Judgment Day. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Now, I think that there should be, like, in instances like this, and especially in mixed martial arts, there should be a follow-up video or follow-up pictures that everyone is required to put out like the day after an interview like that.

Speaker 3 Because today, he probably can't even see. His eyes are probably just completely swollen.
It should go viral at this point. You could get major, major internet internet points for that.

Speaker 1 Tough ass dude, though. I don't, I would, if, if that happened to me, if I took 94 to the face, you'd just hear me screaming, shoot me now.
I would kill me now.

Speaker 3 I would never play baseball again.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I did that when I threw out my back. I just said, kill me now.

Speaker 3 Can you imagine stepping back into the batter's box? I got hit in like coach pitch, and for like a month, I was like, I don't want to pick up a baseball.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm scared of this.

Speaker 3 Yeah, this sucks. Yes.
Also, prime opportunity. I missed it for I Love Cocaine Meme when he's just got the hand up.
I got to to do better than that.

Speaker 3 My cool throne was going to be Philly, actually, Hank, because I know you said it was on your hot seat. I was doing it for a different reason.
They got Ryan Kerrigan.

Speaker 3 The Phillies have, I think, the most wins in the NL East. The Sixers are the number one seed overall in the playoffs right now.
And the Flyers haven't lost in a couple days.

Speaker 3 And Kate Winslet and Mayor of East Town is really hot in the streets right now.

Speaker 3 And whenever somebody can, like, it's enough for a Hollywood actor to be able to pull off the Philadelphia accent, but when somebody from like overseas does it, that's always like wild to me.

Speaker 3 Because if you were to ask me, if I were in another life, an actor, and you were like, go do a Manchester accent.

Speaker 1 See, I think that's one of those things that a people

Speaker 1 in England or like Australia can do all the American accents easier than American people could do other accents. You think so?

Speaker 1 Yeah, because I mean, it's probably just like Americans forcing it on them, but like they've already had to learn how to do an American accent where

Speaker 1 an American actor could just go their whole entire life never having to learn a different accent right that's true like a like a actor from from England is at some point probably going to have if they're in Hollywood going to have to do an American accent right you'll have to do an American but then to I think yeah no most people learn like they learn the California accent right they're able to do all

Speaker 3 the Texan like if you if you grow up in Australia or in Europe you probably think of the United States as like New York Texas and California and those are the three places those are like the three accents that you have to do but Philadelphia and Michael Jordan And Michael Jordan.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's it. But it's like such a regional accent that I feel like

Speaker 3 it'd be really tough to put. Like Idris Alba, when he did the Baltimore accent in the wire.

Speaker 1 Blew my mind.

Speaker 6 It's crazy.

Speaker 1 He's number one of people that legitimately blew my mind. Yes.

Speaker 3 What about, was it Christian Bale? Yeah. When he talks, that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 6 Yeah, Hugh Jackman.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Christian Bale for the first time.

Speaker 6 But Idris, obviously, watching the wire, he's like the biggest gangster. And then seeing an interviewer is talking British, like, you know, properly.

Speaker 1 Wait, what the hell?

Speaker 1 What's going on, man? Yeah. um all right my hot seats is uh so I have two one is now I I love Dan Heron 2010 Dan Heron greatest hitter of all time but I'm starting to get nervous because Shohei Otani

Speaker 1 leading the league in home runs and with a 2.1 ERA is fucking insane it is and the way he hits home runs too like he's not just hitting home runs he is fucking murdering the baseball did you see the picture of him when he had the cutoff shirt on and he was doing a press conference after the game the other day And

Speaker 3 he looked like that big-ass kangaroo that everybody doesn't think we can kick their ass.

Speaker 1 Yes, he hit a home run that he had like his ass all the way out and hit an opposite field home run over the green monsters. Like, this guy's a freak.
And we should also really appreciate Shohei Otani

Speaker 1 because

Speaker 1 he might be the last of a dying breed. And you might say, oh my God, like, you know, pitcher who can rake, like, that hasn't happened in a while.
That's not a dying breed.

Speaker 1 It hasn't happened in forever. No, I'm saying last and a dying breed because there is a clip of Mike Francesa saying that he is going to be a huge bust and why would the Yankees ever want him?

Speaker 1 And we're going to run out of this eventually.

Speaker 3 I never said that.

Speaker 1 We're going to run out of Mike Francesa being wrong about people in sports because he doesn't do a show anymore.

Speaker 1 So like you got to embrace a guy like Shohei Otani and hope that he is a Hall of Fame all-time player just so that we can hold on to that clip because there will be a moment in 10 years from now

Speaker 1 where all the players out there will not have any slander put upon their name by Mike Francesca.

Speaker 3 I think what we have to do is just like, you have to basically get Mike Francesca to do a radio show every day via cameo.

Speaker 3 Just like, just send him a note and be like, hey, can you, real quick, can you talk about the Tigers bullpen?

Speaker 1 What are your thoughts on Trevor Lawrence? Yeah, real quick. Pay $200.

Speaker 1 Because

Speaker 3 we need to preserve these amazing takes that are going to be coming out of him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and then my other hot seat was.

Speaker 3 Do you want to witch hunt?

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 3 How badly do we want to defend

Speaker 3 in this circumstance?

Speaker 1 I think we've made our point.

Speaker 1 I think Dan's legacy speaks for itself. He's going to be a Hall of Famer.

Speaker 1 I think we should enjoy Shohei Otani is one of those rare talents where I think you just got to sit back and be like, holy fuck, I can't believe this guy's doing this.

Speaker 3 He's standing on the shoulders of giants, Dan Heron. Those that came before him blazed a path.
Right. So Dan walked so that Shohei could mash.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Shohei is so goddamn good that

Speaker 1 I'm not going to put face of baseball, but Ronald Decunha, I have dubbed you face to baseball. Shohei

Speaker 3 is getting close. Is he the ass of baseball?

Speaker 1 He might be the shoulders of baseball.

Speaker 3 Shoulders of baseball, okay. Yeah.
Yeah, I think so.

Speaker 1 So, someone, what was

Speaker 1 there were people who were roasting Shohei when I was trying to get Dan Herron 2010 going, and they were like, Dan Heron, like, he could have run, but he actually can't run. So

Speaker 1 he would have been just as good as Shohei.

Speaker 3 Does Shohei have a cool nickname yet? That's the only thing. The Show? The Showtime.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that works.

Speaker 3 I feel like he needs a cool nickname in order to be the face of baseball.

Speaker 8 He says Showtime on Google.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's right. Showtime.

Speaker 3 We just invented that for you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Please credit us with the tiniest font possible. Top left corner.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Bury it. If you could put it in

Speaker 3 the same color font as the background of the picture, that'd be wonderful. So you can only see if you highlight it in Photoshop.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 The other hot seat I had, I think this was just one of those headlines to go viral, but it did say airlines may start weighing people at the gate amid fears aircraft are being overloaded by fat passengers.

Speaker 3 It's just a heat check for airlines.

Speaker 1 I think that was just airlines. They're not going to do it, but they basically told everyone who's fat,

Speaker 1 hey, maybe pack a little bit less. They were going to weigh you.

Speaker 3 They want you to know that they have the power to do it. You know what it is? They're thinking about that.

Speaker 3 Nothing's off the table if they're thinking about weighing the passengers because it's not enough to only look at you naked before you get on their planes. They also have to see how much you weigh.

Speaker 1 Do you know what this is? This is the invisible

Speaker 1 pee detector in the pool. That was never real.
Yeah. That was never real, but it scared every fucking kid to never pee in the pool.

Speaker 3 The purple die.

Speaker 1 Yeah, when if you're in a public pool, you're like, oh, you hear about the purple die. You don't want to be the kid who has the purple die.

Speaker 1 That didn't exist. But somehow everyone found out about it and they're like, oh, you can't pee in the pool.
This is what the airlines are doing. They're not going to weigh people.

Speaker 1 They're going to weigh fat people, but they're going to let that be out there that they might weigh fat people so then fat people are just like, fuck it, I just won't travel, which I may not travel.

Speaker 3 So in the case of the airlines, I think that

Speaker 3 they need to take some of the power back in their own minds because you've got people tweeting about them willy-nilly. You've been doing more skull fucks than ever.

Speaker 3 I think your stats will bear that out, that it's been on the increase in the last several years. So if you're an airline, you're like,

Speaker 3 I need to keep our passengers in check a little bit. Yeah.
Because the balance is starting to shift a little bit too much.

Speaker 3 And so now they're going to be like, they're just letting you know that they're crazy enough to fucking put you on a scale before you set foot on it.

Speaker 1 Imagine if they're like update to our policy, we're going to weigh anyone who complains about us on Twitter. Yeah.
Just directly at me. I'm like, fuck, I can't do this anymore.

Speaker 3 Here's how I know that they're probably not going to do it because they'd have to weigh the flight attendants too. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Can't do that. Can't do that.
Can't do that. Can't do that.
Workplace harassment. Can't do it.
Brother.

Speaker 3 Weigh the pilots.

Speaker 1 Yeah, can't do that.

Speaker 3 Would you feel more confident or less confident stepping onto a plane if the pilot was like real real fat?

Speaker 1 How fat?

Speaker 3 Like 350 pounds, 5'10.

Speaker 3 Has a barbecue stand on his cheek.

Speaker 3 Neckbeard. No mustache.

Speaker 1 No, that would be probably... I don't know.

Speaker 3 I'd switch my flight.

Speaker 1 Okay, there is the answer. All right, my cool throne is Bill de Blasio.
I don't know if you guys saw, but that guy's a sports head. He's a sports junkie.
He looked pretty cool.

Speaker 1 He's ready to make some dunks.

Speaker 1 I don't know who, if you missed it, the mayor of New York, who's a total buffoon, did a press conference. He was wearing a Brooklyn Nets jersey, but with a long-sleeve shirt over it.

Speaker 3 And the jersey was on skin. So it wasn't like over.

Speaker 1 It was a white beater.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it was his undershirt. Yes.
It was just a Brooklyn jersey.

Speaker 1 And then a Brooklyn Nets hat.

Speaker 1 When I first saw it, I thought it was like

Speaker 1 SNL skit. But it was real life.
And just politicians pretending they like sports is one of the funniest categories ever. Who was it that did the basketball

Speaker 1 ring?

Speaker 3 Was it Ted Cruz? Ted Cruz.

Speaker 1 And then John Kerry. Didn't John Kerry say something about like he went kite surfing? He, yeah, he said something too that was like, I can't remember.
He fucked up something very easy.

Speaker 6 I just love it. I think, just in general, if you're a New York City politician to pick the team that no one cares about.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but that's the other thing.

Speaker 1 The Knicks are like the biggest story in New York right now. No one cares about the Knicks.

Speaker 3 Well, and then the other guy that's like in first place in the poll is is Andrew Yang. He disavowed the Knicks before this season because he knew that he was going to run for mayor.

Speaker 3 So he was like getting out ahead of it being like, I'm a Nets guy now because the Knicks have broken my heart.

Speaker 3 And then, yeah, politicians.

Speaker 1 There's so sweet.

Speaker 1 They're robots.

Speaker 3 When I saw that picture of de Blasio,

Speaker 3 that to me is the epitome of competitive casual wear. Yeah.
He's wearing a suit and then a jersey underneath it.

Speaker 1 It's like the look of going, you know,

Speaker 1 you work like banking all day and then you throw on the hockey sweater and go to the game. That's a great look.

Speaker 1 That's just like, hey, ready to, let's fucking take the top off this thing and get drunk.

Speaker 3 Would you really like to have a die-hard sports fan as mayor?

Speaker 1 I think I would.

Speaker 3 How badly can a mayor fuck up a city?

Speaker 1 Why not?

Speaker 3 Why not? I feel like you have enough people.

Speaker 1 And they would care about the teams. Yeah.
Like, they would probably make the billionaires pay for their own fucking stadium.

Speaker 3 Well, there's that whole theory.

Speaker 3 I know we talked about it a while ago on the show, but it bears out in election season that if like your local college football team, if you have a big state school in your state, if the team finishes in like the top 10 or if they finish with a winning record that season, the incumbent politician is more likely to get re-elected.

Speaker 3 Right. It's like it's statistical proof.

Speaker 1 Just happiness.

Speaker 3 So really, all, yeah, if you have a winning sports team, people are like, hey, all in all, my life, it's pretty good.

Speaker 1 The city's doing well. Yeah.

Speaker 1 There's a buzz.

Speaker 3 There's a buzz to the city right now.

Speaker 1 All right. And then my other cool throw is Stanford Wrestling because it's back.
I saved it. Super League two weeks ago, Stanford Wrestling this week.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 I'm not saying thanks to me, but thanks to me.

Speaker 6 Was it ever in jeopardy?

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, they pulled it. But then I just tweeted save Stanford Wrestling once, like a month ago, and then today they announced it's back.
So I did a lot of work.

Speaker 3 You skull fucked the tree.

Speaker 1 It was a lot of hard work.

Speaker 6 Is the sailing team still good over there?

Speaker 1 I think so. I think they're funded for the future.

Speaker 3 Yeah, they've got like six kids from Full House that are fraudulently on the team right now, so they're good.

Speaker 1 All right, Jake, your hot seat cool thrown?

Speaker 8 Hot seats, the Minnesota Vikings. Oh.

Speaker 8 Because week one, they play the Bengals, and Joe Burrow is all systems go, and he's going to be on a mission week one against the Vikings.

Speaker 3 I love it.

Speaker 8 Yeah, so that's great.

Speaker 3 Wait, does he have a cool hashtag, though? Because that's the most important thing when a rookie quarterback gets hurt. You'll remember RG3.

Speaker 3 The main thing for him was just getting that branding going leading into his second season. Yeah.
So he needs a good, I think he was like hashtag all in for week one. Didn't really work out.

Speaker 3 Joe needs a hashtag. All Systems Joe.

Speaker 1 All systems Joe. Oh, I like it.
Yeah, all systems Joe.

Speaker 3 Here we go.

Speaker 8 So, yeah, that will be on September 12th.

Speaker 1 Okay. 1 p.m.
game. Never forget.
Yeah.

Speaker 8 Cool thrown, Marv Albert calling it a career after the NBA playoffs. One of the broadcasting goats.

Speaker 3 Also, all-time horny guy.

Speaker 1 Oh, the biggest perv. I think he is.

Speaker 6 So you're saying there's a job opening?

Speaker 1 Oh, for wait, for horny guy PFT or for announcer Jake Marsh? Announcer Jake Marsh. Okay, got it.
It was just confusing.

Speaker 3 Jake, have you ever worn women's underwear?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Have you ever had a ball gag in your mouth?

Speaker 3 No. Have you ever answered the door of a hotel with blood on your back from getting it bitten?

Speaker 1 No. Okay, well then you are not fit for the job.

Speaker 3 You're going to go on the bottom.

Speaker 1 Shout out Marvin. Oh, dude, Marv was the all-time freaky D.

Speaker 1 When did this come out? It all was people. People know about this? Yeah, oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 We should do like a dramatic reading of Marv Album.

Speaker 8 Let's focus on the fact that he's done this for 60 years and is considered one of the best NBA play by broadcasting.

Speaker 3 This is not a sex-shaming podcast.

Speaker 1 No, the fact that he overcame all this is incredible.

Speaker 8 He's done a lot for broadcasting, a lot for Syracuse.

Speaker 1 Fund Russia. Oh, you're Syracuse? Oh, they make a picture of Syracuse.
They make him real morning. Do you have a picture with him? Yep.
Are your shirts on? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 It's his phone background right now. Oh, your phone background.
My phone background. Oh, Jesus.
Christ.

Speaker 3 Are you guys wearing leather?

Speaker 8 No, I'm in like a quarter zip and a t-shirt, and he's wearing a suit. It's in my sports media album on my phone.

Speaker 1 Marv Albert. He is, yeah.

Speaker 8 His name is Marv, freshman year.

Speaker 1 Oh, look at that. Also, great all-time Toupe guy.
Yes. All-time.

Speaker 3 He just said, fuck it. So I guess it was.

Speaker 1 Wait, was it sexual assault? That's not good. Oh, was it? I did not talk about it.

Speaker 3 I thought he was just a horny guy.

Speaker 1 He was accused Albert of throwing her onto the bed, biting her, then forcing her to perform oral sex. All right, so that's not good.
Disavow Marv Albert. TNA Tesla.

Speaker 8 One of the best broadcasters ever in basketball game.

Speaker 3 He was actually, I mean,

Speaker 3 smart to get out right now because he's been on borrowed time the last couple years.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he was a biter. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 3 I thought he got bit.

Speaker 1 No, he was a biter.

Speaker 3 Mouth stopped.

Speaker 8 It would be fitting if he got the chance to do a Knicks playoff series, 1967 to 2004, The Voice of the Knicks.

Speaker 1 What a way to go out.

Speaker 3 You think when they booked him into the Manhattan Correctional Facility, he's like, stop.

Speaker 1 I'm way downtown.

Speaker 8 Can we focus on his other accomplishments? March Madness broadcast.

Speaker 1 Sony charges stopped. 12-month suspended sentence.
Yeah. Oh, my God.
Also, Kenny. Kenny is

Speaker 3 a real up-and-comer.

Speaker 8 Yeah, he's basically took over for Doc Emmerich as the number one hockey guy.

Speaker 1 He's great. So, yeah.

Speaker 8 The Alberts have done a lot for the broadcasting. They have.

Speaker 3 The Alberts community. It's the first family of American broadcasting.

Speaker 8 Or the Bucks embrace debate. Oh.

Speaker 8 The Eagles up and coming.

Speaker 3 The Eagles up and coming.

Speaker 1 The Eagles are up and coming. They are.

Speaker 1 That's so weird to say. Okay.

Speaker 3 I'm going to go with the Bucks.

Speaker 3 You got two animal families there. Yeah, you got to go with the Bucks.

Speaker 3 You want the deer or the birds?

Speaker 6 The longs are kind of a hybrid. Old media, new media.
Yeah, true.

Speaker 1 Old school, new school. That is true.

Speaker 1 Oh, by the way, shout out Kenny Main.

Speaker 1 We got lucky enough. He did

Speaker 3 his farewell to ESPN in the LA Times.

Speaker 1 And he was like, I did a bunch of interviews, Lebatard Show, Part of My Take, the Chris Long podcast, and

Speaker 1 a lot of other interviews. So huge for us not to make the other interviews cut.

Speaker 3 We just snuck in there.

Speaker 1 It would have been terrible.

Speaker 3 That would have been awful if Chris had gotten in there.

Speaker 1 And just having it be the other interviews. Also, I'm pretty sure Kenny Main went on Chris's podcast.

Speaker 6 Immediately after.

Speaker 1 Yeah, which I wish we had known because we've been like, dude, you don't have to do that.

Speaker 1 Stay with us. We'll prank them.

Speaker 6 Or if we join the Zoom with him or something.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Exactly.
Oh,

Speaker 1 that would have been crazy. That would have have been some crazy podcasting.
But yes, go download the green light with Chris Long. It actually is a great podcast.
And he's a dear friend of ours.

Speaker 3 Albert Metter in the motel room wearing white panties and a garter belt.

Speaker 3 Yeah, so, oh, the woman testified she escaped his clutches after ripping his toupee off his head.

Speaker 1 Yeah, oh, all-time Toupe. It sounds like he's the fucking guy from Goodfellas.
What's that guy's name? Oh, Maurice Wiggs. Maurice Wiggs.
He's Maurice Wiggs. Yeah, right.

Speaker 1 He's jumping jumping in the pool.

Speaker 1 All right. Let's get to our interview.
We got Brooks Kapka. PFD, you got a quick word from one of our fabulous sponsors.

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Liquid IV.com promo code TAKE. And here he is, Brooks Kipka.

Speaker 1 All right, we now welcome on our best friend. He's our best friend.

Speaker 1 It is Brooks Kepka getting ready for the PGA championship in South Carolina, which is news to me because I looked it up and the name is the

Speaker 1 Kiawa Islands.

Speaker 1 He was inside of Hawaii. I thought he was in Hawaii.
Seriously, I was trying to plan when he came on.

Speaker 3 I was like, well, you're six hours behind.

Speaker 1 So either way, here he is. He's ready for the PGA championship.
Brooks, do you want us to start with the goatee or the picture of you looking fat today? That I thought was unfair.

Speaker 10 Yeah, it's all about angles.

Speaker 10 Let's do the goatee.

Speaker 1 Okay, so

Speaker 1 have you hit any cool Applebees recently? Or like, what's up with this? I like it. It's kind of like a who's the bad guy.

Speaker 10 Yeah, you know, I thought it made my face look slimmy. That's why I went with it.

Speaker 1 Uh-huh.

Speaker 3 Mm-hmm. Okay.
All right. I mean, you do kind of look like a mid-90s relief pitcher.
Yep. Who drives a Ford Raptor?

Speaker 1 Yep. Yeah.

Speaker 10 You can come out of the bullpen anytime.

Speaker 3 Now, do you have certain facial hair that you find that you play better when you're in? Like, if it comes down to Sunday, are you going to keep the goatee or are you going to shave into the mustache?

Speaker 10 No, I think I'll just keep the goatee, even though, you know what?

Speaker 10 It's so windy here, I'll be able to tell which way the wind is blowing every time because I get a nice little, you know, gust across the stash.

Speaker 10 It could be a big benefit.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I like that. It's like a cat with their whiskers.
They know exactly what width of a hole they can fit through based on whether or not it touches it.

Speaker 10 Exactly.

Speaker 10 That'll be me this week.

Speaker 1 All right. So we're fans of the goatee.
I think the goatee does like put a little intimidation factor on the opponents. Now let's talk about the picture.

Speaker 1 You know, listen, as a guy who's taking a lot of bad pictures, I understand what can happen. I think what you just said with the wind is what we need to go with.

Speaker 1 When the wind is whipping and it sticks your shirt to your belly, angles can look bad.

Speaker 10 Absolutely. I mean, I feel like I'm in peak male performance.

Speaker 10 Like right now, I've got a great dad bod. The belly button definitely swallowed the shirt.

Speaker 1 To say the least. I mean, it,

Speaker 10 yeah i've definitely had better angles but uh

Speaker 3 hey i'm okay with the dad bod you look powerful though you look like you could add it's a very long course right isn't it like the longest pga championship ever yeah yeah it is so i can definitely put a little more weight behind the ball

Speaker 1 what are you what are you hitting right now

Speaker 10 i don't know hitting them like normal so probably about three just over 300 but you know with a little extra weight might go to 305. okay

Speaker 3 do you still get adrenaline when you're on like a long par five and you step up to the team maybe like the first par five of the weekend. Do you get that extra like five, ten yard bounce?

Speaker 10 No, if it's downwind, yeah, I'm 100% going to swing as hard as I can just because I want to out drive. Who am I playing with this week? I think Rory and JT.

Speaker 10 So, yeah, if we get downwind, I'm swinging as hard as I can.

Speaker 1 Have you thought about possibly playing the entire tournament this weekend in a sweatshirt? I don't know if you noticed, but it's actually like 80 degrees in New York City right now.

Speaker 1 I'm wearing a sweatshirt. That's just a move that you got to do if you're feeling a little bit self-conscious about your belly.

Speaker 10 Yeah, I'll put that phone call on to Nike. I'll see if they can somehow maneuver that.

Speaker 1 Double XL sweatshirt. You know what you should do?

Speaker 10 You should be. You should go sleeveless like Belichick.
Just sleeve.

Speaker 3 Yeah, cutoffs, or you could be the first golfer with pinstripes. Vertical stripes are very, very slimming.

Speaker 10 Exactly. I was wearing a horizontal striped shirt today, just for the record.
Yeah. I'm just going to slip it out there.
Not flattering.

Speaker 3 It was a perfect storm of bad angles, questionable wardrobe, but I mean, it was a practice round. So I think you'll step out there on the tee.
You look good.

Speaker 3 Now, are you 100% confirmed playing right-handed this weekend?

Speaker 10 Yes, right-handed this week.

Speaker 1 This week. All right.
Yeah, we got to get to the lefty competition with Dave. I saw a quote that is very, you are a football guy in a golfer's body.
So the quote, PFD, you're going to love this quote.

Speaker 1 Someone asked him, Jason Sobel asked him how his surgically repaired knee is feeling, and Brooks said, I was injured at the Masters. Now I'm just hurt, but you're never 100% anyway.

Speaker 1 I want to prove to everyone on my team that everything we've done has been great. Two questions.
One is, are we part of your team?

Speaker 10 Absolutely.

Speaker 1 I thought you guys were caddy. Well, no, I'm saying like right now, like when you say, I want to prove to everyone on my team, we're part of that, right?

Speaker 10 Absolutely.

Speaker 1 Okay, good. And two, that's just an awesome quote.
That's not even a question. I just love the fact that you admit, like, hey, I was injured, but now I'm hurt, and I'm good.

Speaker 3 Do you know when you crossed over into being hurt as opposed to injured?

Speaker 10 No idea.

Speaker 10 No idea. It sounded somewhere between Augusta and now.
Okay. Sounded like a good quote at the time.

Speaker 1 I mean, it was a direct quote.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I think your brain just went to the hurt or injured segment on this show. And you're like, yeah, that's it.
I'll just throw that out. It's a little red meat.
They'll print that up.

Speaker 1 You used it perfectly, though. Yeah.
Because you were injured at the Masters. Right.

Speaker 3 I also saw another quote from you. You said, I can't run.
I'm not where I want to be. When was the last time you had to run on a golf course?

Speaker 10 I'll be honest, never.

Speaker 1 Because

Speaker 3 that would be intimidating as fuck.

Speaker 3 If you got Blake Kepka dicked out in his Jim Room goatee, sprinting down the fairway, that would put the fear of God

Speaker 3 into the guy that you were golfing against.

Speaker 10 Just bomb 1320 and start sprinting after it.

Speaker 3 Like David Eckstein running to first base after a walk. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 Yes, exactly.

Speaker 1 He's sick. Just get down there.

Speaker 1 For the, like, I don't know, there's probably 5% of the listeners actually are like, diehard. I want to hear some golf talk.
Can you tell us, like, how, tell us some facts about the course this week?

Speaker 10 It's long, as you guys mentioned.

Speaker 10 It's very windy.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 10 you know, depending on if you're into the wind or downwind, you're going to get a good shot of someone's, you know,

Speaker 10 oversized belly

Speaker 10 or belly button. Yep.
And then,

Speaker 10 you know, there's water. So if anybody decides to choke coming in, it'll be very upset.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 That's a great summary. Like, I am.

Speaker 10 You could see a great collapse at the last five holes.

Speaker 1 Oh, really? They get harder at the end?

Speaker 3 Okay, I don't hope that you collapse in the last five holes.

Speaker 3 I don't, but I'm just saying that clip of you just saying somebody could collapse in the last five holes.

Speaker 1 Don't say that. Don't say that.
Just

Speaker 1 If that happens, we'll delete this part from the podcast.

Speaker 10 Exactly. We can always go back and fix this.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 3 But Spin Zone, has the PGA Tour, have they implemented the Blake Kepka rules, which is the more interaction that you get online, you get a little extra coin in your pocket?

Speaker 10 I see everybody's paying attention now.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 10 Yeah, I guess, yeah, we've had that all.

Speaker 10 They started that, or they told us last year, and then

Speaker 10 for whatever reason, I think it started January 1 of this year, but for, I don't know, Perfect Storm, I guess it was released to the media. And then just so happened that this match came about.

Speaker 1 I don't know. Yeah.

Speaker 3 So on the match, so you're going to be playing left-handed against our boss, Dave.

Speaker 3 What would you shoot if you had to play the PGA championship left-handed?

Speaker 10 Probably the same as I would right-handed, honestly.

Speaker 1 I don't understand how you can, like, I saw a clip of you shooting lefty. Like, how are you able to shoot lefty that well?

Speaker 1 I don't know. I think

Speaker 10 I have no, I honestly have no idea. I just know just swing as hard as you can from the other side of the ball.
I mean, it's going to go far.

Speaker 1 That's all I care about.

Speaker 10 I'm like the typical average golfer when you go left-handed. All I want to do is spin it and hit it far.

Speaker 1 I mean, that's better than what you could ever hope for. That's it.
Yeah. So, so we're going to be on your bag.
What do you actually expect from us? Because I don't know if we're able to deliver.

Speaker 10 I just want, big cat, I want you to just keep being super positive to Port Noy.

Speaker 1 Okay, yes.

Speaker 10 Just over positive, overly positive. I mean, just, I mean, that'll get to him.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we're already in his head.

Speaker 10 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And then PFT will actually have to carry the bags.

Speaker 10 Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 PFD will do all the work. Perfect.
Okay. Perfect.

Speaker 3 I'm not great at distances or math or really anything that you would need as a caddy.

Speaker 10 Well, neither is my caddy, so we're good.

Speaker 3 I will stomp the fuck out of any fire ants that are nearby.

Speaker 10 Absolutely. Yeah, you just need to pay attention to the fire ants in case anybody's

Speaker 1 cheating, anything like that.

Speaker 3 I'm the orcin man. I will stomp those motherfuckers out.
Oh, here's something that I saw, a little golf news. Maybe I can break this to you.

Speaker 3 I saw Tony Fanau just figure this out during the press conference today. You're allowed to use a finder this week.

Speaker 10 Did you know that? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I forgot about that.
Yeah.

Speaker 10 I guess we'll have it in the bag in case we need it, but I don't know.

Speaker 10 See, he relies on my cat. He can't mess this up.
I mean, he's definitely messed up a few before. I've messed up a few before.

Speaker 10 I love Rick, but

Speaker 10 I don't know. In case we get really offline, in case I hit like a foul ball, it might be...

Speaker 10 It might be needed.

Speaker 3 So what the range finder will tell you like to the exact yard how far away you are?

Speaker 10 yeah yeah it'll tell you exactly it makes it a lot easier if but sometimes it makes it more difficult because we want to know like how far it is to the front i'm not always like trying to fly it to the pin or whatever there might be slopes or something in the front so um it can sometimes help if you're like out of position but other than that so like how how far do you hit your seven iron if you were to take like a pretty full swing at it Just 200 yards.

Speaker 3 200 yards. So if I told you land it 198 yards, would you actually take anything off or would you go with a full swing?

Speaker 10 No, full swing. I can't tell the difference between two yards and 200.

Speaker 3 Are you kidding me? I don't know.

Speaker 1 I don't know how these things work.

Speaker 10 I laugh all the time when pros are like guys will be talking and they're like, yeah, I'll just take two yards off this. I'm like, dude, from 55 yards, I can barely tell if I'm taking two yards off it.

Speaker 10 I don't know how you're doing this from 200. I have no idea.
I love it.

Speaker 1 That's the honest. I mean, I would imagine most people are bullshitting when they try to say that that's what they're doing because it's really

Speaker 1 two yards off 200.

Speaker 1 Quickly back to the match. Are you going to bring your trainer, not for you, but for us in case we struggle with 18?

Speaker 10 I think, big cat,

Speaker 10 you've got the dad bod, so you're good.

Speaker 10 I mean, that's in right now.

Speaker 1 Right. Right.
Yeah.

Speaker 10 It's always in. I've got it.
You've got it.

Speaker 1 PFT, you might have to have a little bit more work to get there, but I think we'll be all right.

Speaker 1 You got to put a little weight on PFT.

Speaker 3 All I need is I need, I want your trainer to be able to do that weird stretch that he did to you. What was that? Hold your hips.

Speaker 1 Yeah, pull your hips. And he was jerking off your legs.
Yeah, I need.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's what I want. I want that after a hole, probably just after the first hole, after every hole.
I would like that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 10 We might bring him.

Speaker 1 When you were playing in the Masters, you were obviously visibly injured, like we talked about. Heroic.
Yeah, and I started talking about how heroic it was, and people took

Speaker 1 great umbrage with that comment.

Speaker 1 They were saying, it's not heroic to go play golf and like he's just a golfer i you agree like that was i couldn't have agreed anymore yeah absolutely i mean it might have been one of the most heroic things ever done that's it we gotta put that on

Speaker 1 we gotta put that on a quote we got liam put that on a quote board it was one of the most heroic things i've ever done brooks kefka talking about brooks kefka at the masters

Speaker 1 missing the cut at the masters

Speaker 10 it was a great two days

Speaker 3 you You did it for the fans.

Speaker 3 It was for us at home. You made the ultimate sacrifice and went out and played two rounds of golf.

Speaker 10 Absolutely.

Speaker 1 Thank you for your service. Yeah.
All right. Last question real quick.

Speaker 1 It's the Roback question. Use code PFT on roback.com for 20% off your first purchase.
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They make the best performance polos and the only performance poles we wear.

Speaker 1 And for our guests today, we'd like to gift you a ROBAC performance Q-zip on us. All right, so you're going, you're going.

Speaker 1 We're going to let you go in two seconds because you got to go to the uh dinner beforehand. Does it is it like the master's dinner? Did someone pick the menu? Yeah, yeah, it does.

Speaker 10 I didn't get to pick it last, so Colin Markow is picking it this year. I don't know what he's serving, um, I have no idea, but I don't know.

Speaker 10 Every past champion that's playing in the event will be there at the dinner, I'm assuming. And it's always quite fun.

Speaker 1 So, what did you pick when you won?

Speaker 10 I had Miyazaki beef, and then I think it, I think it was like potatoes or something, like steak and potatoes, I think.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 10 Mashed potatoes. And

Speaker 1 I don't know, some kind of a pig in a blanket, maybe next time. Pigs in a blanket.

Speaker 10 Yeah, no, we're going to go way more simple next time. So next year at this time, when we talk, because it's basically like tradition when we talk on a Tuesday.

Speaker 3 Yes.

Speaker 10 You know, it's basically an automatic win.

Speaker 3 Yep, good things happen. That's true.

Speaker 1 And you then have to come on again on Sunday night, but that's that will be celebratory. That will be awesome.
Yeah.

Speaker 10 Yeah. I mean, I barely, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you won't won't remember.

Speaker 10 Come on Sunday, I think, yeah, because I FaceTimed.

Speaker 1 Yes, you did.

Speaker 3 I think you absolutely had a couple of Coors Lights in yours.

Speaker 1 What are you, Michelob Ultra? Yeah, we'll give you that.

Speaker 10 Yeah, Mick Ultra.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, we'll give you that.

Speaker 3 What about the other time that you won? Remember, you won the PGA championship twice.

Speaker 10 Yeah, I did. I mean, I'll be honest.
Yeah, if I call you after, there's probably a good chance I have no idea.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 10 If I win, I'm 100% celebrating and I'm celebrating hard.

Speaker 3 Have they fixed the trophy?

Speaker 10 Yeah, because then the top fell off.

Speaker 10 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 3 he dropped it last year. Yeah.

Speaker 10 Yeah. I mean, who knows? I mean, I'll be honest with you.
What was it? We dinged up the U.S. Open one pretty bad in Vegas.

Speaker 10 My Caddy did.

Speaker 10 That was one of the best times of my life.

Speaker 1 I'm just laughing at how great that was.

Speaker 10 We kind of dinged that one up a little bit.

Speaker 10 But yeah, the rest of them are in good shape, but we'll take care of this one.

Speaker 1 Perfect. Perfect.
All right. Well, as part of your team, we're we're very excited for you to be no longer injured, but only hurt playing in the PGA championship this weekend.

Speaker 1 Don't worry about the picture. Don't worry about the picture.

Speaker 1 Here's something I'll say. I didn't even know it was you.
I thought it was someone else. Yeah, I could tell you.
That's how fat you look. I looked at it.
Yeah, that's how fat you looked.

Speaker 1 I was like, wait, that can't be Brooks. And then someone was like, no, it's Brooks with the, it said Brooks Kepka on the top, and it was still you.
And I was like, oh, God, it is him.

Speaker 10 It'll be interesting whether I fit in the suit or not tonight.

Speaker 1 Don't bend over.

Speaker 10 Let's see how that goes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no dancing.

Speaker 10 I haven't been in one in a while, so this will be interesting. His buttons might be popping out here.

Speaker 10 Just look for the photo that'll probably come out sometime tomorrow.

Speaker 1 Yes. Suck in as hard as you can.

Speaker 1 All right. Well, Brooks, best of luck.
We're rooting for you, obviously, number one.

Speaker 1 And if not you, then Max. Then if not Max, then Will.
But you're number one always. Don't worry.

Speaker 1 I love it. Yeah.
All right. We'll see you soon.
All right. Thanks, guys.
Later, buddy. See you, man.

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Speaker 1 Okay, we're going to wrap up our show with

Speaker 1 the one and only Uncle Chaps. Before we get to Uncle Chaps, a quick announcement, reminder, two reminders.
One, the Barstool Sportsbook is live in Indiana. Two,

Speaker 1 Hank is playing Jake on Thursday.

Speaker 6 on stool streams play barstool app go download it right now if you're a real one you'll you'll pick me you'll you'll bet on me i won't let you down Yes, yes, you're setting yourself up for the triple hunter.

Speaker 8 There's three great matchups: $500, make your picks. PFT versus Hank as well.

Speaker 1 Yes, I will be announcing with who am I announcing with?

Speaker 6 Rico Bosco.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Rico Bosco.

Speaker 3 Rico Bosco. Jake, how are you feeling about that matchup?

Speaker 8 I'm looking forward to it. Hank's a great competitor.
He's got to stay locked in and get the win.

Speaker 3 Do you think that you're better than Hank? We'll see. Do you think that you're the better player in the office? We'll see.
Out of everyone.

Speaker 1 We'll see. Okay.
I guess so. All right.
Chaps is good to come here. Yeah, we we have chaps back.
You look great.

Speaker 1 His eye is fixed. Took him a year and a half.
Yep. He's down, what, like 70 pounds? 30.
30 pounds. Two days like 70.

Speaker 3 When was the last time you did leg day, chaps?

Speaker 1 Never.

Speaker 8 I'll never do leg day.

Speaker 1 Tiny little.

Speaker 7 I haven't done any day.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 No days. You just

Speaker 1 do chess. Arms? I'm not doing that day.

Speaker 3 You technically don't skip leg day then. No.
It's just never, you never have a day. No.

Speaker 1 Cool. I never will.
um all right so it's great to see you good to see you guys what's going on your world bt rocking

Speaker 7 no i need some wars we just need

Speaker 7 i mean honest to god like this whole biden thing's a mistake like we i just need we need to bomb somebody like not that we really care like some open area give it some time like the outback of australia like nobody lives there

Speaker 1 kangaroos or fuck up some kangaroos we're not even kangaroo like the real desert part where it's just like lizards literally nothing will get killed Just blow up that big rock that's out there, Devil's Rock.

Speaker 7 What about we take out that big Jesus in Brazil?

Speaker 1 There you go. Christ the Redeemer.
There's a lot of people over there.

Speaker 7 I think it's a war crime to take out religious monuments.

Speaker 1 And also, there's a lot of people there.

Speaker 1 But not on that mountain.

Speaker 1 People go visit his statues. Yeah, but they all go up there.

Speaker 3 I don't even think it existed before that movie City of God. I think they just put it in there as a prop.
It's like the Rocky statue.

Speaker 7 Did you guys see that another city in Brazil is building a bigger Jesus on a bigger mountain?

Speaker 1 I love that.

Speaker 1 This arms race.

Speaker 7 And it's only like a 90-minute drive, and that's the only reason why people go to that city is to see that Jesus. And now there's going to be a bigger one like 90 minutes away.

Speaker 3 We got Jesus War going on. What if we, just throwing this out there, you can talk to your friends at Space Force about it for me.

Speaker 1 What if we blew up the moon?

Speaker 7 I thought about that. People said tides, but they didn't have tides in Pangaea.

Speaker 1 True. True.
Good point. True, and that's when we all got along because we were all on the same continent.

Speaker 3 You know, that was actually our strategy for how to win the Cold War initially, was we came up with a plan to set off a nuclear weapon on the moon just to show Russia, look how fucking crazy we are.

Speaker 3 We'll blow up the moon.

Speaker 1 I mean, that will work.

Speaker 3 You guys don't fuck with us.

Speaker 1 Pangea, though, would then everyone get along and no more wars, so you'd really kind of fuck yourself.

Speaker 7 Really sorry for downloads, yeah.

Speaker 3 No, but they didn't have McDonald's.

Speaker 1 All Pangea has one.

Speaker 3 It's one McDonald's. There's one McDonald's, and they all do.

Speaker 7 Pangea is more of a Burger King kind of place.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 1 All right, so everything's going well. It's good to see you.
You're back in the office.

Speaker 1 Dogs good?

Speaker 1 Don't.

Speaker 1 Gus and Lil Baby Dale?

Speaker 7 You know it's Baby Dale Woohoo, first of all. Say his old name.

Speaker 7 But yeah, they're good. Good.
The cat is good. Good.
Yeah. Sprinkled ankles.

Speaker 3 Yeah. What about the other cat?

Speaker 1 Why are you looking at me? Because you know what you did.

Speaker 7 I know what you did.

Speaker 1 Another betrayer. I know what I did.
All right, let's get to it. You know what?

Speaker 3 So Chaps is a dog trader. That's what he did in the military for a while.

Speaker 1 I'm actually thinking that when you son of a bitch.

Speaker 9 Not Gussy Boy.

Speaker 7 Not Gussy Boy from Heaven Above. He would never kill his sister.

Speaker 1 Woo-woo.

Speaker 7 Baby Dale, first of all. Little Tale.

Speaker 3 It's Baby Dale Woohoo and then Gussie Guss from Heaven Above, right?

Speaker 7 Gussy Boy from Heaven Above.

Speaker 3 Gussy Boy from Heaven Above.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Sprinkle Dinkles.

Speaker 3 Are you sure you were in the military?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 3 Liz Chaps was just stealing Valor for like the last five years.

Speaker 1 Incredible content.

Speaker 3 You'd honestly be the worst stealing Valor person ever.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 the most high-profile case. But what I'm saying is maybe when we get a certain person back,

Speaker 3 we've tried to train him as a human trainer.

Speaker 3 I feel like we just kick him to a dog trainer. Yeah.
And we let chaps work. How would you work your magic on a human?

Speaker 7 That's the same exact principles, really. It's called successive approximation.
With Billy, we just do baby steps.

Speaker 7 It's just baby steps all the way along.

Speaker 3 Right. Not being 30 minutes late.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 Yeah, we'll work on it. Well, late, we're going to have to go.
You can do inducive or convulsion training. I would definitely go with hands-on, more pain-induced training.

Speaker 1 Strangle. Yeah.

Speaker 9 Strangle him every time. Shot collar, pinch collar.

Speaker 7 I'm against it for animals, but for humans, it's fine.

Speaker 3 You should absolutely give him a shot collar. Yes.

Speaker 1 All right, so you have two things for us. We're going to do Rose.
Listener submitted Rose.

Speaker 1 And also, you're going to mix in some big-time Tommy, which I miss so much.

Speaker 1 You started to do it when you were sitting across from me this morning, and I was like instantly smiled. I was like, save a couple of those those for the show.
So let's go. All right.

Speaker 1 And also, just a reminder, Chaps is not the greatest reader.

Speaker 1 That was a good. That's nice.
That's being nice.

Speaker 3 Not the greatest. He said that you're not the

Speaker 1 best thing of us here.

Speaker 1 That's true.

Speaker 7 I'm not the greatest. I'm not correct.
Oscar Beck, the greatest. He's dead.

Speaker 3 You're probably better than him right now.

Speaker 1 I don't know. He's pretty.
Chaps is pretty bad at reading.

Speaker 6 Also, we have the Rose weren't updating. So so some of them, if you wrote a Rose, you don't hear it.
That's why. And there's, to note, we have 69,000 iTunes

Speaker 6 reviews. Not reviews or whatever, stars, reviews.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 We have 69,000 stars total.

Speaker 1 69,000,000?

Speaker 6 I think there's like 1,000 one stars, but 69 stars.

Speaker 1 Fuck those people.

Speaker 6 Yeah, 69,000.

Speaker 1 That's funny. Five stars.
All right, thank you.

Speaker 3 We gave one star to people. Yeah.
Hitler.

Speaker 1 There it is. Wow.

Speaker 1 All right. Thank you, though, for everyone who actually does rate and review.
We really appreciate it.

Speaker 7 All All right, you guys ready? Yes. All right.

Speaker 7 An alpha ping ponger, Sunshine from Remember the Titans, a wannabe rock star, and their chubby dad who looks like young Jeff Fisher talk everything from crypto to cold sore.

Speaker 1 Now, I like these because you sometimes have to unpack them. So Sunshine would be the man who can't be named.
Then wannabe rocker is PFT? Yeah, I think Sunshine is.

Speaker 3 I got confused there, too. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's like Sunshine hair thing.

Speaker 3 Sunshine is usually just the hair guy.

Speaker 1 We just mix all of our insults. Yeah.
I like that, though. Okay.

Speaker 7 Who's young Jeff Fisher?

Speaker 1 You? I guess. That's a compliment.
No.

Speaker 3 Yes, absolutely.

Speaker 7 Jeff Fisher cost me a Super Bowl.

Speaker 3 Well, he also got to a Super Bowl.

Speaker 7 Well, it cost it. Well, that's the reason why.

Speaker 3 You think he would have beaten the Rams?

Speaker 7 Yeah, because people don't talk about this enough. The defensive coordinator, Greg Williams, he stole the Jags' playbook.

Speaker 1 The offensive playbook.

Speaker 7 The year that they were 15-3, all three losses went to the Titans.

Speaker 1 Ah, he stole their playbook.

Speaker 7 And they averaged like 39 points a game against everybody else, and against the Titans, Titans, it was 23.

Speaker 1 I am so rude to not ask you,

Speaker 1 as a lifelong Jags fan, Tim Tebow, what a great side.

Speaker 7 Why did you do this? Again, I told you specifically, that was one of the agreements that I didn't want to talk about Tebow.

Speaker 1 Okay, you don't want to do it as well.

Speaker 3 How do you feel about the depth of the tight end position?

Speaker 7 I feel okay about it.

Speaker 1 How do you feel about

Speaker 1 the depth of the leadership position? We don't have a dearth of it, but we're going to be okay.

Speaker 3 Do you think that there's an element of Tim Tebow knowing all the dirt that Urban Meyer has done in his past that he kind of blackmailed his way into being on the roster right now?

Speaker 7 That's very possible. There could be a chance that Tebow is just a really shy guy

Speaker 7 all about himself. It might.

Speaker 3 Well, I think to a certain extent probably is, but I don't think... Do you see that's a fact? I don't think that Thibault really had to do anything shady.
He had to just be like, hey, coach.

Speaker 3 You want to bring me in for a tryout? And Urban Meyer was like, fuck, I can't say no because he knows all that.

Speaker 7 His answers about Tebow have been so bizarre, too.

Speaker 1 I know, where he's like, I haven't seen him, I haven't seen him, but when I lost him, it was pretty good. And then when he came back, he was even better.

Speaker 7 This guy is the greatest professional athlete and trier you will ever see.

Speaker 3 Tryer, this trier. I actually do think that Tim Tebow is that should be his position.
The trier, he is the best trier of all time.

Speaker 6 Yeah, yeah, that's a rugby thing, right?

Speaker 3 You score a try.

Speaker 1 All right, next.

Speaker 7 P L F T just looks gross.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 P We F T.

Speaker 1 That's just all in all a mean thing to say. That was so mean.

Speaker 1 By the way. Fifty really is getting hammered in a lot.
That was really mean. It was really mean.

Speaker 3 And I kind of fucked myself over on last Friday's show during the Fire Fest when I was like, I think I got a cold sore coming in on the day that Fauci says we can take the masks off. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Turns out I just didn't have a cold sore at all. And I just had like, I don't know, an itchy lip for a couple hours.
Got it.

Speaker 7 So that can get in your head so much that you can give yourself a couple sore. I know.

Speaker 3 But then I just decided to go on our

Speaker 3 national podcast. Yeah.
Our national.

Speaker 3 International sports podcast. International.
And tell everybody how to go.

Speaker 1 Global. You guys talk soccer? All the time.
I save soccer. Cricket.
I save cricket.

Speaker 3 Sashan Tantukar.

Speaker 1 Do you guys know the rules to cricket? Yep. You just play for at least two days.

Speaker 3 Why does it take so long?

Speaker 1 I just told you the one rule. You play for at least two days.

Speaker 6 If you have bad defense, they can just run it up. Run it up, run it up, run it up, run it up.

Speaker 7 How do they know when to stop?

Speaker 1 It's like baseball.

Speaker 3 It's once all the batters get out. So every batter keeps hitting until they personally get out.
Oh, so it's the same. And that's

Speaker 1 the top of the first inning. Wow.

Speaker 3 And then also, I think it's just a sport for people that really hate their families to go watch.

Speaker 6 And you can hit it backwards.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 Wait, into the gate?

Speaker 1 The whole world.

Speaker 1 360.

Speaker 3 The wicket. It's called a wicket.

Speaker 7 Oh, I don't like that.

Speaker 3 And Sachin Tendokar was the master. He was the wicket king.

Speaker 7 PFT sitting in his chair. I had multiple videos of PFT's feet not touching the ground when he's sitting in his chair in the studio.
It made me feel really uncomfortable.

Speaker 1 Is that true?

Speaker 3 Well, I rest them on this guitar case sometimes. And then also, I just like put them down sometimes on the leg of the chair, but it's not like my feet can't touch the ground.

Speaker 1 I'm not a confirmed guitar.

Speaker 7 You got to be more cognizant about the guitar thing.

Speaker 3 I'm not some put them all the way down. I'm not cotton from King of the Hill with no shins.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 rest them all the way down. 10 and a half like a normal person.
Right.

Speaker 7 My old lady ordered me a pair of PMT socks, knowing I love them. Three weeks later, she gets an email canceling refunding her purchase because they're out of stock.
What a boner killer.

Speaker 1 Sad day.

Speaker 7 Get some damn socks. Thanks, Chief.
Love the show.

Speaker 1 We sold socks.

Speaker 1 When was that from? What?

Speaker 6 Best socks in the game.

Speaker 1 Really? Yeah. All right.
Well, sorry about those socks, dude.

Speaker 3 Mixing a big time top.

Speaker 7 Okay, I got my own motivational quotes.

Speaker 1 Oh, you made them?

Speaker 7 Yeah, no, I didn't make them, but you asked me to get some motivational quotes. So I have those two.

Speaker 1 Yeah, from Tommy. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 7 Yeah, they're from Tommy. They're actually all the ones that I use.
The next one, I wonder if Marlinsman's son is named Shark Boy.

Speaker 1 Shark Boy?

Speaker 1 That's not really a burn.

Speaker 3 No, Marlinsman's son.

Speaker 1 Shark Boy would actually be a sick name. And it's like, hey, what's up, Shark Boy?

Speaker 3 Shark Boy is an amazing name. Yeah.
And also, like, I wouldn't be his son. He met my mom

Speaker 3 two years ago.

Speaker 6 You just involved yourself in this conversation.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Well, I mean, that's obviously.

Speaker 1 Oh, it could be, yeah, someone else in this room.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah. Good point.

Speaker 3 Who? Anybody else from?

Speaker 1 I don't know. Anyone want to say they're Shark Boy? Actually,

Speaker 3 we've got two guys from Florida.

Speaker 1 Shark Boys.

Speaker 6 Shark Boys. I think Shark is a great name for a son in general.
Yeah,

Speaker 6 if your wife is pregnant or something.

Speaker 1 Oh, shark. I met a daughter.

Speaker 1 With a daughter? My old neighbor had a black lab named Shark.

Speaker 7 Sharkes.

Speaker 1 Shark O'Neill. Really?

Speaker 7 Yeah, great name for a dog.

Speaker 3 Did that dog any cat? Sharkille O'Neill.

Speaker 3 I do like Shark though. Shark Lockwood is an

Speaker 3 alpha name. Hell yeah.
Now that, your son would absolutely be the alpha over Jake.

Speaker 3 Shaq Lackwood.

Speaker 7 Please, please, please mute Billy's microphone forever. Every time he starts talking, I hit delete on the episode.

Speaker 7 He's insufferable to listen to, especially after a fight when he doesn't realize that Jose took a dive and he's just brain dead and actually think he knocked him down.

Speaker 1 So yeah, this is what we were talking about. Some of these didn't update.
So Hank found just essentially, I guess people don't like it. We had some feedback that we didn't even know about.

Speaker 1 So we've heard your feedback. This one's about you.

Speaker 7 Overweight dad, or it could have been about me a couple months ago.

Speaker 7 Overweight dad that kept reminding you about his fatherhood has lukewarm takes while David Spade's neglected younger brother cries for more attention by agreeing with his co-host every time.

Speaker 1 I don't think I bring up my son that much. Not to mention, like, what am I supposed to do? I can't be like, hey, I'm getting fucked up on the weekend.
I don't. No, I don't eat donuts.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I eat donuts.

Speaker 3 My life is simple.

Speaker 7 All right, you guys ready for some motivation?

Speaker 1 Yeah. All right.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 7 After that? Yeah, I got some motivation for you.

Speaker 5 What's up, Instagram? It's big time Tommy.

Speaker 1 Work for a cause, not for applause.

Speaker 5 Live life to express, not to impress.

Speaker 5 That's the old school

Speaker 5 OS for life.

Speaker 5 Take it easy.

Speaker 1 That's a real one he did? Yeah.

Speaker 7 Is this Pinterest motivational?

Speaker 1 I love that though. Work, was it work for a cause, not for a pause?

Speaker 7 That is definitely going to be in a locker room.

Speaker 3 I was going to say, that's like a high school football coach work dream right there.

Speaker 7 Dan Campbell's taking notes with his good hand that he still has. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Thanks for listening.

Speaker 7 Yeah. No, I saw a clip.
I know.

Speaker 1 A flower

Speaker 5 does not think of competing to the flower next to it.

Speaker 5 It just blooms.

Speaker 5 What the fuck?

Speaker 1 It's true.

Speaker 1 All right. Actually, I think that's not true.

Speaker 3 Flowers do compete for sunlight.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they absolutely compete for sunlight. And all plants do.
They like growth.

Speaker 9 The only reason why canopies extend.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they literally will grow bigger to get the sunlight.

Speaker 6 That's the exact reason.

Speaker 1 They're a direct competition.

Speaker 7 This one's good.

Speaker 5 It needs the full introduction. Hey, what's up, Instagram? It's big time, Tommy.
You look so delicious. I want to explore every inch of your body with my tongue.
That's the old school way.

Speaker 1 Is that a real one?

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's a real one. That's a real one.
That's a good one, right? Yeah. I think that one's fine.

Speaker 1 It's just Instagram comments. Yeah.

Speaker 3 For Jen Selter's ass.

Speaker 5 Success Success is not final. Failure is not fatal.

Speaker 5 It is the courage to continue that counts.

Speaker 5 OS for life.

Speaker 1 Take it ease.

Speaker 1 Is that from him? No.

Speaker 1 A lot of these. Oh, that one's from Winston Churchill.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
That was a tweet. Yeah.
That was a good one.

Speaker 3 Can you read the Ray Allen tweet?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Finish the show with that. And then we're going to pick pick numbers, chaps.
So you got to pick a number. I don't get it.

Speaker 5 All right, here we go.

Speaker 1 Do the whole thing. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Let me see if I can find it.

Speaker 1 Oh, man.

Speaker 1 This is fucked up. By the way, your shoes are cool, too.
Thank you. What are those?

Speaker 7 Succonis? So for my shoe game, this is my shoe game. I go into

Speaker 7 Amazon and I go Bright Shoes, Men, Clearance, and just find the cheapest one. These were $15.

Speaker 1 Hell yeah.

Speaker 1 All right, here it is.

Speaker 3 Do they come in men's?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Cool.

Speaker 1 That was a roast. That was.

Speaker 5 Hey, what's up, Instagram? It's big time Tommy. I'm getting there.
When you masturbate, think about my tongue on your clit and switching back and forth from my dick to my tongue. That's the old story.

Speaker 5 Take it easy.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Numbers, chaps?

Speaker 7 Seven.

Speaker 3 16.

Speaker 1 I'll go 99.

Speaker 6 18. 46.

Speaker 8 Check out my pyramid with the numbers.

Speaker 1 What is Liam Seven?

Speaker 8 On my Twitter.

Speaker 3 55.

Speaker 3 Hey, Jake, I like the pyramid. Crazy how there are some that are five.

Speaker 1 One. One.
Oh, we're 16.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 Uno. One.

Speaker 1 Uncle Chaps. Thank you.
Everyone go download. So what happens now with one?

Speaker 7 Subscribe.

Speaker 1 It goes back in. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Do you have an animal to do that?

Speaker 1 We've been doing this for like a year now. Actually, it's almost about a year.

Speaker 6 Maybe a Bible fact because of your other podcast.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there you go. It's a Bible fact.

Speaker 7 Oh, yeah. Barstow Confessions.
PFD is going to be on this week. We're going to be doing a little bit of this game.

Speaker 7 It's called Things Christians Like, and we're going to combine that with Cards Against Humanity. So it should be very sacrilegious.

Speaker 1 It'll be great time.

Speaker 7 You want an animal fact?

Speaker 1 Or a Bible fact. Or a Bible fact.

Speaker 3 Maybe an animal from the Bible.

Speaker 1 Okay. Or a fact about a fact.

Speaker 7 Okay, my favorite Bible fact that people don't know about is how naked and drunk Noah was all the time. Like, people always thought Noah was just this super nice dude.
Oh, no.

Speaker 7 His son Ham came in drunk as shit.

Speaker 7 Noah passed out with his dick in his hand because he was just beating off on it.

Speaker 1 What? Whoa. Hey, did you ever talk about Seth?

Speaker 7 No, I haven't talked about Seth yet.

Speaker 1 You should talk about Seth.

Speaker 7 Yeah, I'm going to bring KB on for that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm obsessed with Seth. Just because

Speaker 1 Kane, Abel, and Seth was the other brother. He's the stepbrother.

Speaker 3 He was the Howie Jr. of the Long family.

Speaker 1 That's mean howie jr is doing great he is yeah but i'm talking like right but that's

Speaker 1 still i mean yeah sucks what's cooper manning up to he's the funniest one of all game espn plus show i think yeah is he probably wow

Speaker 1 cooper's place and arch manning might be a jaguar once trevor lawrence is a body love you guys

Speaker 1 i actually didn't mean that we got to stand in solidary we talked about that yeah because if trevor lawrence sucks oh i do have a fun fact you said i have a jump fact with i have a fun fact that I was telling PFT before.

Speaker 7 It was a guess, and it proved right. Did you know the entirety of the NFC North could fit inside Jacksonville?

Speaker 1 What do you mean?

Speaker 7 Every other city, Chicago, Detroit, in the landmass.

Speaker 1 That's crazy.

Speaker 7 And they only add up to like half of Jacksonville. Holy shit.

Speaker 3 Jacksonville is a thick boy.

Speaker 1 Jacksonville is enormous. It is the biggest city.
Wow.

Speaker 3 If you were to look at a map of the United States, more of the United States would be taken up by Jacksonville than any other city. Therefore, Therefore, it's the biggest market.

Speaker 3 Triple Lawrence is right now.

Speaker 7 Small market.

Speaker 1 Not so fast, my friend. Nobody.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Duval. Great, great fact.
All right. See you everyone Friday.
Love you guys. Chaps, thank you.

Speaker 1 Talking away.

Speaker 1 I don't know what I'm about to say. I'm saying anyway.

Speaker 1 Today is a my day to find you shine away.

Speaker 1 Oh, I'll be coming for your love, okay.

Speaker 1 take

Speaker 1 me.

Speaker 1 Needless to say,

Speaker 1 I hardly stand here. Spur me somewhere in a way.

Speaker 1 Slowly learning that life is okay. Say after me.

Speaker 1 It's the better to be safe than sorry. Take

Speaker 1 on on

Speaker 1 me.

Speaker 1 Take on me. I

Speaker 1 know.

Speaker 1 Could I do your go

Speaker 1 by the time you hear the next pop,

Speaker 1 the folk shall be within you.

Speaker 1 Take on

Speaker 1 me.

Speaker 1 Take on me. Take me.

Speaker 1 Take on me, I am

Speaker 1 save me

Speaker 1 Take on me, I am

Speaker 1 gave

Speaker 1 It's Pardon My Take presented by Bar Stool Sports.