Brian Baumgartner (Kevin Malone), Bill & Melinda Gates Break Up, Lebron Will Never Be The Same and FAQ’s

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we have an awesome interview with Brian Baumgartner. You know him as Kevin Malone from The Office.
One of those interviews where we came across being like, damn, that guy's cool and we really want to have him back on. So listen we're going to talk a little uh hockey suspensions with tom wilson we have a little aaron rogers update we have hot seat cool throne we have faqs we have a ton of stuff for you and it is brought to you by our friends ever had one of those days when it's just too cold to keep working nah neither has ariot a Ariat work jackets and boots are packed with all the

cold-stopping waterproof protection you need to get the job done under any conditions so you can

take any job out there and always deliver. Check out Ariat in your local workwear retailer or visit

ariat.com slash work to get 10% off your first order when you sign up for email. And weather

whatever in Ariat Work Gear. No place to hang out or wash in And then I can't blame all on the sun Oh no We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue It's Part of My Take presented by Far School Sports Welcome to to Pardon My Take presented by movementmbmt.com slash pardon for 15% off glasses, eyewear, jewelry, all of it at movement.com slash pardon.
Today is Wednesday, May 5th. I'm trying to play this song.
May the 5th be with you? May the 5th be with you. Why isn't this playing? It's going to be May.
There we go. Bill and Melinda Gates are no more.
True Love has had a rough month, man. They both did a thing.
They're dead. Really tough.
Really tough. Although Bill Gates is going to have a kick-ass bachelor party.
They do need to have a divorce party. And they need to get the whole gang from the Windows 95 debut back together.
Have Steve Ballmer up on stage clapping it up for his boy. Gasson's bro up.
Steve Ballmer is definitely the dude on a bachelor party who overplans every detail. It's like, alright, we're going to go fucking play some golf.
You know, it's 8am. We're going to go to a nice, awesome lunch spot that I found.
Then I rented a boat. Then we got a dinner.
It's like, dude, we just want to fucking get drunk. Stop planning everything.
Everything's got to be spent in a cab or an Uber because of you, Steve. Chill out.
You know what, though? It's good to have one person that's like that just so that you can break some of the plans later. Because it's good to have, like to do but then you get the boys to be like hey dude chill out yes you're planning this out way too much but you got to know the rules so that you can break them yeah it's a very smart person rule breaker let's just it's just sad someone put chrissy and john into a safe house uh bubble wrap them shout out shout out melinda gates i can't take any i'd like to not to have officially moved on from miley cyrus yeah i am totally on the mckenzie bezos slash melinda gates whichever one dude the fucking the like worship that people do of rich people online is so fucking funny when they're like mckenzie bezos and melinda Gates are going to team up and Hank, Girlboss Energy, are going to solve climate change.
Yeah, that's not what's going to happen. So they're still going to be rich.
Can we stop? You like the Girlboss Energy? That was a good one show thing. I was going to put it to bed until you just told me to put it to bed.
No, I asked stop. No, no, no.
That's Girl Boss Energy telling us to put it to bed. I rewind the tape.
I literally asked. I said, can we stop? Okay.
All right. I'll stop, but Big Cat gets one show.
Yeah. And then we'll see how I feel on Friday's show.
But yeah, it's sad, man. It's sad seeing all these billionaires break up.
Like, what are they going to do? We should build their own fucking stadiums. When you cut them, do not bleed just like us hank do their hearts not break in half do they not feel the pain of losing true love does bill gates not get depressed when he logs on to microsoft word and clippy pops up saying hey looks like you're trying to write a prenuptial agreement right he definitely gets depressed when he realizes you know he doesn't have a prenup yeah he doesn't no oh like having 130 billion dollars is nice is nice, but is it worth losing half of it? I'm ready to risk it all for Melinda Gates.
I'm, for one, shocked when I read a story about how before they got married, Bill Gates wrote out on a whiteboard pros and cons of marrying Melinda Gates. That's true love.
That is true love. I can't believe that didn't last.
Pro, we enjoy similar recreational sports. Con, I think she's just marrying me for my money.
Pro, much like Henry Lockwood, girl boss energy. Big girl boss energy.
So what does this mean about the people? I know that they were digging a lot of wells and solving malaria. Are they just saying like it no they said they were gonna they were gonna still combine their powers to solve all the world's problems because i was thinking that maybe pay zero percent tax maybe like the bridge too far was knowing that bill had microchips implanting and everybody across the world and she was like listen bill i was fine with you killing millions of people a year but now that you're harvesting souls of babies and putting your chips in everyone's head we're done here i i would just love like it would be such a great heel turn if bill gates just became a huge stoolie and like started mining like smoke show of the days for his rebound hell yeah why not guess that ass dude you're fucking out there bro let's have some fun we sing as uh the king of new york little sass says the boys are singy this

summer what has to happen in order to like finalize a divorce where there's that much money involved because it's like i think she's entitled to like 40 billion 30 billion i think whoever's the lawyer gets they just hit the jackpot yeah because they basically are going to spend the next like two years writing up all this shit and get paid millions and millions of dollars like what would you if you, if you're a lawyer and you charge already, let's say, $10,000 an hour for high-priced divorces, what do you bump that up to? Is it surcharge pricing like Uber? Where you're like, oh, actually, well, you saw Bezos is getting a divorce too, Bill, so unfortunately it's going to be $100,000 an hour. I like to think that Bezos- Is $10,000 an hour an actual thing? Yeah, you can...
I'm sure there's some high-priced lawyers. Super high-priced lawyers.
They're probably on retainer. They probably have a guy that just sticks around in case they need to get a divorce.
If you're that rich, you just have your break glass in case of infidelity guy. Yeah, he's just hovering around at all times.
Be like, you guys seem like... Was that fight a little too serious? Yeah, definitely trying to break you up all the time.
I saw that Bill didn't put the seat back down. Should I get the papers going? Couldn't help but notice that Mr.
Gates hasn't reciprocated oral in quite some time. Yeah.
No, Bill Gates is a pussy eater. I like to think that Jeff Bezos got his divorce and then pressured Bill into getting his.
because if you're Jeff Bezos and you become the richest single guy in the world, you know, going back to the analogy of a bachelor party, if you are the only person in your bachelor party that has a good job, you feel like you're imposing on them. If you're like, hey, do you guys want to go to Cabo? Do you want to go somewhere cool? If you're Jeff Bezos and you have, I don't know, $50 billion more than the second richest guy in the world, you can't plan a good vacation.
You can't plan your singe life around that. You need to have a friend that's at least half as rich as you to also get divorced.
So Elon's next. I don't know.
He seems like he's got really stable energy. Yeah.
Yeah. You're right.
He's extremely happy. Well, he's got SNL.
We're actually going to write some mock sketches for him on Friday before his SNL on Saturday is when they do it, right? They do Saturday Night Live? Saturday Night Live. I just paused.
I was like, yep, it's in the name, Saturday. It's actually Sunday morning.
True. For the most part.
If you're in Newfoundland. Two-thirds of the show is on Sunday morning.
If you're in Newfoundland, the whole show is in. It should be at SML.
Halifax. S&M Live is what they should call it.
All right, let's talk some sports. The biggest sports story we have.
Was that not sports? That was sports. But the biggest sports story we have today is Hockey Twitter getting very upset because Tom Wilson did a thing again.
And by a thing, I mean he punched some people in the head. It's sussy talk.
Yeah. And hockey Twitter is – you're right when you tweet it out that there's no gray area when it comes to suspension talk.
Or NHL player safety talk. Which is why I didn't even watch the hit last night.
Everyone sent it to me and I was like, I'm not even going to watch it. I'm doing a digital cleanse.
I didn't want to comment on it until this morning. Because really, at that point, the only thing they're commenting on is you're saying, like, what can I say that will make

the fewest amount of people upset at me?

Right.

And when it comes to Tom Wilson, he's a player that is, like,

he plays on that edge, on that, like, weird line

between being extremely violent and extremely useful

to have on your team.

And he crosses it a little bit.

He crossed it a little bit last night.

Oh, buddy.

He crossed it. Here's a quote from a prominent bit.
He crossed it a little bit last night. Ah, buddy.
He crossed it.

Here's a quote from a prominent journalist

I'm going to read for you real quick.

Tom Wilson is a psychopath.

This time is the last time.

Ban him for life.

Arrest him.

Hashtag capitals.

Hashtag psycho.

Keith Olbermann.

Yeah.

So Keith Olbermann.

He had like 100 tweets about it.

Dude, Keith Olbermann advocated for him to be arrested.

The New York Post advocated for him to be kicked out of the game for life and possibly arrested. There were a lot of people that were just saying, like, lock him up.
There were lock him up chants going on about Tom Wilson. And the one thing that people love to do on hockey suspension Twitter is they always at the Department of Player Safety.
They always make sure to tag them very helpfully in the tweets, the videos. And it's impossible to go back and look at the videos that are taken frame by frame.
It's like there's a Pruder film, and you're watching Panarin's head go back into the left, as he's pulling on it. And things happen in real time.
People forget they play hockey on ice. They do.
It's very slippery. Tom Wilson's a clumsy guy.
But yeah, obviously he's a... He's a piece of shit.
But I don't think he should have been banned or arrested for life or anything like that i think it's there's got to be a middle ground we got to find a new word that even tom wilson and capitals fans can call tom wilson because yeah he is but he's our piece of shit no that's fine i never listen capitals fans like anyone who gets mad at capitals fans for defending their guy they just't sports fans. Because this is what you do as a sports fan.
You defend your guy even if all the evidence is, hey, your guy's a piece of shit. My middle ground is that Keith Olbermann wants him arrested and then the NHL gives him a $5,000 fine.
That feels like two very severe ends of the spectrum. It felt like, and I do not think that it was some egregious arrest him.
He's a psychopath. I think, like you said, he plays on the edge.
And if we're going off on a tangent real quick, it's kind of, in a weird way, the NHL's fault for getting fighting and goons out of hockey. Because Tom Wilson is kind of the apex predator now.
Like if they were still goons, a goon would fuck Tom Wilson up and it would be taken care of and he wouldn't be doing this shit. He's a hybrid goon.
He is right. He's like half goon, but half...
He's the tallest man left kind of thing. Like, if it were 15 years ago, there would be someone who would fuck him up and he wouldn't be doing this shit.
But now he knows there's no real repercussions. And so somewhere around maybe a couple games, just to show, hey, I think more than anything, it's very hard to make the argument, we care about player safety, and then only give him a $5,000 suspension.
That was the max amount that they could fine him under the CBA was $5,000. Beyond that, they would have to sussy him for a little bit.
They should have sussied him for a game. Maybe.
I don't know. Can you sussy a guy for a game? Why not? They were saying that Panarin's going to be out for the rest of the season so he should be out for at least selling.
But Panarin's out because the Rangers aren't going to make the playoffs. Not because Wilson injured him.
But if you do watch the replays, it could have been pretty ugly. You can definitely look at that and say there was a chance that there could have been a severe head injury or a neck injury on the body slam yes but but also like that's tom wilson when he is like trying to fuck you up he doesn't stop to think like am i slamming this person to the ground too violent i'll put it this way if tom wilson was a rhinoceros in a protected game reserve they would have to have put him down just because he's naturally too too aggressive at things.
Yeah, so you're kind of leaning on the Keith Olbermann ban him, arrest him. No, no, no.
I don't think so. Kill him.
Murder him. Because we can't let the cure be worse than the disease.
If Tom Wilson is out of the league, then who is going to police the game from players like Tom Wilson? Right. Right.
Tom Wilson, yeah i it's just so like it usually is right around playoff time when we get just the absolute like chaos that happens from debating these type of things and it's not i honestly don't think it even touches like targeting in football like like it's so far the debate on hockey uh suspensions whether he should be suspended hits all these things is by far the most heated like polarizing debate in all sports because fighting is allowed right you know what i mean like if there was if a guy was throwing punches in the nba you're like okay that guy's suspended we know that we're here it's like okay there obviously is a gray area of fight. So when they start throwing punches, it's not immediately like that's the worst thing ever.
I think so. I tweeted out that he or someone, sorry, Tony Nargi WX said that we should have a funnier penalty for Tom Wilson.
Like he should have to fight three guys at center ice before the next game, gladiator style. I thought that was a good idea, and I threw in, it would be funny if Tom Wilson had to play an entire game in sneakers.
I think that's fair too. And then someone else.
What about this? What if you just had him play, but he is the only player that doesn't get to wear a helmet? I like that. I think it's like a punishment fits the crime type situation.
Yep. Where like put him out there And let him be subject to other apex predators For a while And then the last one I liked was Also he's got sick flow He does Alexandra Daigle Alexandre Seems like a French dude Daigle said The Caps should get to keep Tom Wilson But he has to play one game on a line with Owen Wilson and Luke Wilson.
Okay. And just watch him get his shit kicked out of him.
I like that, yeah. That would be fun.
Funnier penalties, especially at the end of the season. The last game of the season, let's funny find him.
I don't want to see anybody get hurt or injured. I don't want to see anybody.
You kind of do. Because you love Tom Wilson.
I love having Tom Wilson on my team. I think that like 99% of the time when he plays, he plays like you want a hockey player.
You're complicit, dude. If he killed someone, you'd be part of a class action lawsuit.
I went back over the last 18 months. He's only been suspended once in the last 18 months of play.
I'm just a fact. I'm looking out for you.
If Keith Olbermann decides that he wants to take legal action against Tom Wilson, you will be liable. I am telling Tom Wilson, because people do seem to think that I speak for Tom Wilson.
Tom, listen to me very closely. If you injure somebody because of a reckless hit or a negligent hit, I disavow.
I'm telling you not to do that right now, very clearly. I want you to hit people hard within the rules and injure them in the course of a normal clean hockey play.
I don't know if Panarin... Not severely.
Yeah. I don't know if Panarin, like you said, there's three games left, so they're probably just sitting him.
If they were fighting for the playoffs still, maybe he plays. But it does feel like an easy way to fix this in hockey is just you're suspended for as long as a guy's injured yeah like that's so easy yeah that makes sense but then you also have to look at what happens on the other end if like a team sees that like if a superstar like a great player for one team injures a scrub on another during a playoff series if i'm the coach i'm like no you milking that lower body injury.
Let me finish. The team's doctors gets to review the player every day.
They switch. The team's doctors have to switch.
Yes, doctors switch. That makes sense.
Keeps everyone honest. Okay, I like that.
That's not a HIPAA violation either. No, not at all.
Because you make them switch. I do want to give a shout-out to the Washington Capitals Twitter account.
Oh, that was bad. For posting the most ridiculous tweet ever with a meme that just made no sense about Tom Wilson right after the game was over.
It was during. I thought it was after.
No, I'm pretty sure it was during the game. Because I thought it was after he got the empty netter at the end.
Oh. And they posted this, and it's a meme that makes no sense.
Part of it is Tom Wilson and shows from the neck up, there's the troll face going rent-free. the neck down it said something else violence sheesh it said a lot of sheeshs and then in the tweet itself it said Tom Wilson woke up and selected violence with a check it was like you know what that is I thought I was having a stroke watching you know what that is I thought it was a great job by the capitals social media department to get everyone online mad at them and not mad at actually Tom Wilson.
True, but that's chuggy as fuck. It was chuggy.
The Cho's violence caption is chuggy. It is chuggy.
I spot it. It's like now that we know what chuggy is, it's like when you buy a car and then you see your car everywhere.
Yeah. I can spot chuggy left and right.
That's how I am with doges right now. I've seen like three Shiba Inus over the course of the last week.
That is Matrix. That's the Matrix.
That's the Matrix stuff. But yeah, listen, I agree that Tom Wilson, if anything, Tom Wilson should be suspended for his own protection against all the online harassment he's dealing with these days.
He's the real victim. All right, other news we have.
Aaron Rodgers seems like it's getting worse. Seems like it's damage control is going on by the Packers.
I don't know if you saw, but Rapoport or maybe Schefter, I just combined them at this point, is doing damage control for the GM of the Packers. They basically were like, people forget that the Packers tried to trade up to get a wide receiver last year, but a wide receiver was taken right before them, so they had to end up taking a quarterback.
Of course. Everyone forgets that.
So it's clear they're trying to spin that. Also, Terry Bradshaw called Aaron Rodgers dumber than a box of rocks, which coming from Terry Bradshaw, that is one of the funniest quotes ever.
Yeah. What's the old saying about Terry? Terry couldn't spell rocks if you spotted him.
The R, the O, and the X. Terry is not a smart guy, but Terry owns it.
That is what we expected to be coming from Brett Favre. Yes.
That quote, Terry Bradshaw might be usurping Brett Favre. He might be Favre cucking him.
Yeah. Yeah.
No, you're absolutely right. I think Favre probably just sitting there like, am I back? Yeah.
Is it my turn now? We also had Devontae Adams send out a cryptic tweet that said, gotta appreciate what you got while you got it. Hmm.
Hmm. Hmm.
Heartbreak again. Hmm.
All our heroes are breaking. All our A-Rods are breaking up right now.
I just want them to be happy. I think it's, I also saw on Get Up, they basically said, is Aaron Rodgers too sensitive? I need to, I'm actually concerned about our friend Dan Orlovsky.
Yes. Is he okay? No.
Is he mentally well? We do have to have him on the show eventually. I saw him the other day and he was crying on television because Aaron Rodgers doesn't have enough help.
He was like, he was honestly like, his eyes were red, they were watering, he was just staring at the camera and couldn't believe that people were disrespecting aaron rogers by saying that devontae adams is good i kind of like this though because we you know we clowned on dan when he notes when he notes apped all of us right in our fucking face after the week 17 uh eagles washington football team game uh and we clowned on him. But maybe this is what we need.
We need a guy who just wears his heart on his sleeve and has like, you know, when his quarterback or quarterbacks screw up or want to trade, he gets emotional. I like that because you know what? It is not good what Get Up is doing saying, is Aaron Rodgers too sensitive? That is the hyper-masculinity I will not stand for.
It's toxic, honestly. It's toxic masculinity.
If anything, they should be encouraging Aaron to follow his heart and his dreams. And get a trade to the Broncos.
I was going to say to Merv Griffin Enterprises. That's fun, too.
Whatever. Either or.
I'll take either or. But yeah, it's like when Mark Brunel, you remember when he cried about the New England Patriots deflating footballs? That was honestly great.
We need that. We need people to care about stuff that much on our televisions.
I just want to make sure that Dan's doing okay because I was taken aback as to how emotional he was getting about the treatment of Brett Favre by his general manager. will get him on eventually we also had um so i have an idea yeah this might be something that we can say as i guess as a collective we are owners of the green bay packers our fish larry was yeah um i purchased a secondary share off the market but i think as a podcast we're owners of the green bay packers and uh tying back into what you were talking about with billionaires owning soccer teams and how you can protest against the American billionaire, but another billionaire that cares about their money is going to come over and do exactly what billionaires do.
What about this idea? Back in ancient Greece, there was a concept called sortition. So they didn't have elections.
They didn't have democracy as we know it they didn't have mayors what they would do would be once every like year or two they would pick a name out of a hat from all the citizens that lived in the town and that person was their president yeah for the next two years yes and it sounds fucking crazy because it is but also it kind of encourages people it encourages you to make sure

that all the kids are going to be well educated yes because any one of these shitheads could end up being your boss one day yeah no we should absolutely it would be cool if the if cities owned the teams yes and we voted on coaches and gms and all that stuff and then imagine having like a recall like imagine a coach fucking up in week 10 and then you're like emergency election everyone vote should we fire his ass or not it would make sports so much more fun because that's what we do as fans we love to just yell about firing guys and and get this guy out of here having the ability to actually do it so let's fucking go. So the problem with that would be coaches would get fired after every single loss.
Yeah, which I'm cool with. I don't know.
What's the problem? Every team would fire. Where's the problem in that? These guys have families, but they have to re-enroll them in schools.
No, yeah, that sounds like a good solution. What I think is we should do that except you should be able to vote the owners out but the owners get installed by the city just at random no there are no owners you just select a random person to run the team yeah from the pool of citizens that live in any given city yes and then that owner makes coaching decisions then you can fire the owner prematurely if you need to yeah i'm in for all of it because like i i do think that having to fire someone like right having somebody tied in to the local community is what we need i want matt nagy fired and i want to rehire him then fire him again that's actually would be incredible to get the satisfaction of keep firing the guy that you hate well that's what people are saying to do with tom wilson people are like well he no no no no no no bring him back to life no people We're like, arrest him, kill him, bring him back to life, resuscitate him, kill him again.

Arrest him. well he no no no no no no no no bring him back to life no people are like psychopath arrest him kill him bring him back to life resuscitate him kill him again arrest him arrest his ass fucking do it all right other thing we had uh we missed this story on sunday but it needs to be mentioned lebron james is laying the groundwork for one of the greatest underdog stories of all time, even though he's widely acclaimed as the second best basketball player of all time and still the best basketball player in the NBA.
LeBron James came back from his ankle injury. LeBron James said on his first game back, he said his ankle was a little tight.
And he said that he is, or sorry, he said getting back to 100% is impossible. I don't think I'll ever be back to 100% in my career.
And then also said he still thinks he's at the point where he feels like he can help the team win. Comeback player of the year.
Poor little LeBron James is just out there, and you know what? If he didn't think he could help the Lakers win anymore, he'd probably bench himself. But he thinks he can probably chip in a little and help these guys win, even though he'll never, ever be 100% again.
I also think he was coming off the heels of the news where he was like, they should fire whoever came up with the playoff scenario. Remember that? So he was trying to...
That and also he's not getting vaccinated.

Well, he's trying to get some sympathy

for being like,

listen, I'm injured.

I'm probably taking

like heavy doses of Tylenol.

Who knows how my brain

is working right now?

Did he actually say

I'm not getting vaccinated?

No, but...

Dennis Schroeder said

him and LeBron

are the only ones that are.

That haven't been vaccinated.

That haven't gotten it yet?

Which would be so funny

if the playoffs happen

and he has to like quarantine.

If he gets like... That would be a real shame.
That would be wild. That would be a real shame.
Real shame. I was going to say kind of what PFT was saying.
It's like both him and the Ron James Jr. guy at the same time.
Yeah, it would be wild. He said whoever made the rule up should be fired, but if you go back to March 2020, he said you got Portland, you got Memphis, New Orleans, Sacramento, tinkering around there.
So if there's five or ten games left, why not have those guys play and battle it out? Make them play each other all five games. So quick question.
I'm just curious. What's the difference, though, this year? There is no difference.
No, isn't there? The Lakers, where are they? They must be first, so it doesn't matter. They're five right now, but seven, Portland.
There's two teams that are one game behind them. Oh, so they're close to the playing game.
Right. interesting.
I was playing dumb there, Hank. Last season finished up the exact same way, right? Last season went the standard NBA postseason through June, right? Nothing after that.
It's pretty normal. Yeah, yeah.
Okay. LeBron being like, I'll never be 100% again.
I think that's better than the pretty much broken hand. You know how you say like – The one thing though, I will say that's kind of relatable though.
He's got a long haul ankle sprain. I'm never going to financially recover from this.
Yeah. No, he's – I actually – I mean, there's moments in my life that I'll never be 100% again.
Right. Yeah.
I actually like kind of laughed at that because that's kind of relatable where it's like, I'm never going to be 100% again. It's like when you're really hungover on a Sunday and you have to go to work the next day.
You're like, I'm never going to feel normal again. Have you ever sprained an ankle? It's worse than a break.
Yeah, it is. I sprained my ankle on an uncontested layup once because I was there.
Yeah, I sprained my ankle like every other day. Have you been 100% since then? Well you know i'm built different than your man child yeah i would say child girl boss i would say right now i'm uh i'm 67 of my 100 and i'm going down okay i'll never be higher than 67 i'll one up you lebron i will never be higher than, like, if 100% is you feel incredible, great shape, like, good weight, all these things, mentally, you know, rested, all that, I'm 67% of 100%.
I think I'm 75% of 110%. Okay.
When I was at my max. Yeah, you were 110.
But, you know what? We're also a little bit younger than LeBron James. By like a month.
By one month. By exactly one month.
So, yeah, in his old age, it's harder to recover from those nagging little injuries. Thoughts and prayers, though, to him.
He'll never be 100% again. I just love the fact that he said, I still think I can help the team win.
Okay. Thanks, LeBron.
It will be the greatest comeback of all time. Well, you can't have an ankle transplant.
They can't just... Alabama would disagree.
He needs to go visit Nick Saban. Alabama, I feel like they transplant every ankle on that team when they show up as freshmen.
They do preemptive ankle surgery. It's like a circumcision down there.
They have a moil come in and he just cuts the tip of your tendon off. We're just going to fucking wrap this wire around your ankle real quick when you show up.
I don't know if it's medically advisable to do, but it definitely makes you get drafted higher. Absolutely.
I mean, Achilles, the ankle brought down the greatest warrior of all time. That's true.
Big Ben. Yeah, absolutely.
And also his nose. Yes.
And his rib. And every other part of the body.
His shoulders. His shoulder.
His head. His own brain.
His penis through the pornography addiction. Yep, all of that stuff.
All right, let's get to Hot Seat, Cool Throne. And then we got Brian Baumgartner on You Know Him as Kevin Malone.
By the way, we interviewed him before all the Aaron Rodgers stuff, unfortunately. So it was just general.
He's a big aaron rogers fan wish we had been able to really stick it to him there but uh before we do that i used to think that sandwiches were just you know basic until i realized how easy it is to level them way up it's all about starting with the best ingredients lately i've been obsessed with this sandwich boar's head ever roast chicken a little smoked g arugula, sliced avocado, and a drizzle of balsamic glaze on toasted ciabatta. Just a few simple swaps and suddenly it feels like something that I'd order at a fancy cafe.
And that's why I always go for Boar's Head. The quality, the craftsmanship, the fresh premium flavors that turn an everyday sandwich into something next level.
So if you're tired of the same old lunch, try upgrading with Boar's Head. Head to the deli counter, grab your favorites, and see just how easy it is to make every bite amazing.
Discover the craftsmanship behind every bite at your local Boar's Head deli counter. Hank, my hot seat is, I had a few, the first one was the Lakers, we just talked about it though.
Okay. My second one, thankfully I had multiple per usual, was the kids.
The youth, our future. Euthanasia? The youth of the nation.
We are, we are. There was a release today that the New York City public schools will have remote learning instead of snow days next year.
That sucks. Fuck that.
That might be the new, now that they've kind of built in the online learning curriculum, they can kind of use that and instead of snow days just do online learning which is just terrible i feel i feel bad for the youth i feel bad for the kids we need an alex jones for children to get the kids really pissed off about this and start a fucking revolution because like there is actual inherent value in what you do on snow days when you're by yourself as a kid and the shit that you get into the mischief like all the stuff that you do on those days actually translates into like real life learning and you're not going to get that by sitting in front of a computer all right i'll zag on this i actually uh i'm okay with this for two reasons one the snow days that obviously means that summer starts earlier which is awesome because that's how they always build it i think there's five built-in ones okay but but you won't have any there won't have be any right so your summer will start earlier and there's no fucking way when you're on zoom learning you're actually doing anything that's better than a fucking like uh substitute teacher no you think kids are learning on zoom learning i can guarantee you no i know i'm saying I'm saying that they would learn more not being on Zoom Learning and going out into the wild and having a good day by themselves. They can still do that.
When they're on Zoom Learning, they have to be in front of the computer the entire time, and it sucks. But they can still do that.
They do a couple classes at home, and then they go out and have fun in the snow. And summer starts.
No, you got classes all day. Yes, you got classes you have to start at seven yeah so what you just fucking sit there and wake up this is you check the tv you see if your school scrolls on the bottom line i think zoom if you miss it then you have to watch it roll back no i think if you and if you hit it you just go back to sleep if you ask the kid if if you ask a kid like zoom learning is a complete fucking joke they probably yeah that's not what we're saying.
I know. We agree that it's a complete joke.
I would rather get summer early. Hank, you love summer.
I love summer. You love summer.
But I also love you know that's a future me thing. Give me snow days 10 days a week.
But I still think doing like not because not having to go into class it'd be like June 13th if we had school pass like no one gives a fuck at the end of the year anyway. Right.
But not having to go into class it'd be like June 13th if we had school pass no one gives a fuck at the end of the year anyway right but not having to go into school still feels like different once the snow days have announced what you're forgetting is that there's something magical about being a kid not being prepared for whatever assignment that was due the next day or a quiz that you were not ready for and then getting like a finger of God coming down in your town and being like guess what i'm going to help you out on this one you don't have to go in instead you can go day drink at your neighbor's house whose parents both work like 45 minutes out of town oh yeah this time became a yeah when you're like 17 years old oh not 17 totally i'm talking about like i thought you were talking about imagination as like a 12 year old you're yeah You're just saying... I'm talking about everyone.
You could day drink while you're on Zoom if you're 17 years old. I'm saying that's no fun.
Stop the saying. We tried doing Zoom happy hours back in March.
That lasted for like a week. Listen, I know summer starting earlier would be fucking sick.
No, you need... Summer's awesome.
In theory... And also it's like one or two days.
But this is... It's New York.
No, it doesn't even snow in New York. You need snow New York.
You need snow days. The kids need the snow days.
I think once you get back to having to go to school every day, a Zoom day will feel like a snow day. That's my point.
All right, next Hank. My cool throne is our very own PFT commentator.
Oh. DK Metcalf.
Oh, so you're just going to take my cool thrones. That's fine.
Well, how am I supposed to know what you had? Okay, thanks, Jake. How am I supposed to know what you had? Do you want to go first? No, you can go.
I mean, what do you want me to do? You're doing a great job. Yeah, I mean, clearly.
Do you want to go? I don't know. Go ahead, girl boss.
I can't be picking my hot seat in Cool Throne thinking about you. You're not allowed to call me girl boss.
That's me today. Hank, go.
I can't be picking my hot seat in Cool Throne thinking about what you're picking. I just got a tunnel vision.
That's fair. My cool throne? And I didn't think you were that conceited.
I didn't think you were that selfish conceited like you were just going to talk about yourself, you know? I was actually going to say something else. Narcissist.
Yeah, clearly. DK Metcalf, who PFT beat in a race, 100-yard dash, I think it was 40-yard dash in our office.
He has been training and is possibly going to be racing this weekend to go to the Olympics.

So if he does go to the Olympics, you can say you're faster than an Olympic racer.

Oh, I like that.

Therefore, you're on the cool throne.

Olympic, Olympian.

Also, Oscar Pistorius.

Right.

In certain circumstances.

Yep, challenger.

Paralympic.

Yes.

Thank you, Hank.

That was lovely.

My hot seat. You're not welcome.

Whoa.

Yeah, I actually agree with you, Hank. Why? Yeah, you're not welcome.
Why? Because you contested. I said one thing.
Hank said one thing. There were some things said.
All right, go ahead. My hot seat is the White House cat.
So the Bidens got a cat for their White House. And maybe they forgot that major biden still exists and they're they got a dog to help socialize major biden who has been biting everything that it sees i think you have to say the dog just so people know because one of their kids name is hunter oh okay so major definitely like they're they would definitely so major one of their kids major Major Biden, the dog, the German Shepherd dog, is being socialized back into the White House with the help of a cat.
And that cat is fucking dead. Oh, yeah.
That dog is going to eat the shit out of that cat. And to be honest with you, I've grown to love Major Biden just because he's such a shithead.
Well, he's also very relatable. Like, I wouldn't want to be in a house where there's a shitload of people coming and going all the time i would start biting everyone as well it's very funny to have like the the highest most honorable house in america in theory uh just populated by a mangy dog that's running around attacking everybody i love that dogs will be dogs uh my cool throne is i was going to say lane lines on sprinting tracks because dk mccalf is competing to try to qualify for the olympics got it so i wasn to make it about me.
I was going to make it about DK. But then you were going to be like, who's faster than DK? No, no, no, no, no.
But see, that's the thing. My cool throne was PFT commentary.
So how did you even know what I was talking about? No, because then you started talking about DK right afterwards. But it's different cool thrones.
Yeah, it is. It is totally different cool thrones.
So the speculation is that if DK runs under like a 10.2, then he'll qualify for the Olympic trials. But in order to do that, he would have to run as fast as he was running at his peak when he was chasing down Buda Baker.
Yeah, it feels like there's sprinters that could run faster. Yeah, so we don't have as much muscle.
What you're going to see a lot of is track and field stands on Twitter being like, this guy has no business in our sport and saying, you don't understand truly how fast sprinters are. And you know what? They're right.
100% right. Sprinters train to do one thing and one thing only, and they're very good at it.
Dude, no one knows how fast marathon runners are. When you see a marathon runner run like a two-hour marathon, they are sprinting as fast as you can possibly sprint for two hours that said i do hope that he gets i hope that he qualifies it'd be fucking hilarious to see dk back calf go to the olympics yeah i don't think he's going to but yeah it would be very funny it would be very funny to see him go there which are the olympics happening yeah for sure tokyo for sure for sure uh i don't want to say for sure for sure all right I don don't know anyone's gonna be alive i can't guarantee that that's true um i don't know if they happen there's still the 2020 olympics yeah that's right that's right yeah all right my hot seat is uh us because a dude perfect they released a sick ass uh music video called pet peeves one of the pet peeves being um missing like uh putts which is not a pet peeve that's just that's just not a pet peeve one was uh when you drive past a car and a dart a dog is barking really loud what yeah that's a pretty relatable because for that like one second you have to hear a dog yeah and it was you looked like Leroy, too.
I was like, I would give anything to drive past that car.

Yeah, so we're fucked.

They're coming to our block.

We made Drink Paint and the other song.

Chonk.

There we go.

I knew that.

I fucking knew that.

Like I said, 67% capacity.

We might have underestimated Dude Perfect.

They truly can do it all. Yeah.
Play every sport. This is worst song i've ever gonna rap that it was an insult to music in general yeah no my pet can you auto-tune this my pet my pet peeve was that entire music video beardo beardo came in my pet peeve is when beardo tries to rap can you sing it my pet peeve is when Beardle tries to rap at me.
My pet peeve is when Beardo tries to rap. Can you sing it? My pet peeve is when Beardo tries to rap at me.
My pet peeve was when I thought Beardo wasn't going to make it all about himself, but the start of the video was all about himself. All right, so there we go.
Put that out there. All right, my cool throne is Russell Westbrook because he's incredible.
I said that I was going to do a respect update every now and then, like here's someone we should respect more. Russell Westbrook doesn't get enough respect.
This is now the fourth season that he will average a triple-double for the entire season. He could record zero points, zero rebounds, and zero assists in all the rest of the games this season, and he would still have a triple-double.
And I know Ball Hog makes bad decisions at the end of the games, Russell West Brick because of the 3-point percent. I don't care.
The dude is fucking crazy. He's really, really good, and he somehow is still really, really good even though everyone has written him off.
So I'm respecting him more. And his fourth time averaging a triple-double is crazy.
And on Monday night, he dropped 24 assists. 21 rebounds, 24 assists, 14 points.
That's insane. That's crazy.
I've never heard Russell Westbrook before. That's good.
He doesn't shoot well for a triple-double. You remember Zaza Pacheepshot? Yep, Pacheepshot.
Those were good ones. Hustle Westbrook, what I call them with numbers like those, like 24 assists.
24 assists, 21 rebounds, 14 points. That's crazy.
That's fucking stupid. So let's respect it more.
All right, Jake, you were a hot secret. I'm growing concerned that our list of people that we have to respect might be getting too long.
It's literally just Steph Curry and Russell Westbrook. You mentioned Chris Paul the other week.
No, but I didn't. That was a fucking...
We all knew that that was a prank. It was a double cross.
It was a double cross. There's two people I got to respect more.
Hot seat to the Houston Astros. They returned to Yankee Stadium tonight for the first time since the incident.
Things could get ugly. You think anyone's going to bring a trash can? Probably.
Things will get ugly. I hope so.
I'll be wild. Oh, my God.
The bleacher creatures. The bleacher creatures.
Yo, did you guys know that dude on Twitter? Thank God, Billy. Oh, no.
Don't mention him. The dude on Twitter who created an Astros revenge tour account that basically was like, we're going to be shaming the Astros everywhere.
And then after last year, he just changed his handle. Now it's a random baseball account or something.
And he just made it himself like a baseball page. And everyone's like, are you fucking serious, dude? You can't rebrand like that.
I respect the fuck out of that. You can't rebrand.
It's like 250,000 followers. I really hope that at some point tonight, Aaron Judge gets on second base.
For our two? Yeah. That's all I care about when it comes to this game.
Yeah. All right.
And your cool throne? My cool throne is minor league baseball. It's opening day.
I know we rock some gear sometimes. So shout out to the little guys.
Their whole season got canceled last year, so first time in two years. Good to see the boys out there playing.
All right, let's get to our great, great interview with Kevin Malone, Brian Baumgartner, talking everything, sports, office, everything. Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest.
You might know him as Kevin Malone from The Office, or you might know him as the Cameo King, but he's also a diehard sports fan. It is Brian Baumgartner.
I knew I was going to screw that up, your last name name you know you you stuttered as though you were going to screw it up and i think you did it but i think bumgartner because of the picture so then it gets in my head like you're the name is so close to another name that it just fucks me up you're talking you're talking about missing a missing t yeah yeah right that's what i call him missing a missing t

he so you're his cousin or what what is that no i'm not his cousin no i'm not his cousin uh go ahead you was gonna say what what would you rather be introduced as uh the actor who played kevin malone or cameo king if i'm given that choice i'll go with kevin malone okay because you are the cameo king that's what they say yes but it's awesome to have you on i've we've seen you on a few different shows and when you were pitched to us we're like yeah we definitely want him on so thank you for joining us we appreciate it um i don't know where to start because you are a true sports fan which is rare when our the actor guests are true sports fans i'll do i'll here, actually. You like Bryson DeChambeau.
What's your fucking problem? Well, here's the thing. He went to SMU, and I went to SMU.
So there is that very connection. Who said I like Bryson DeChambeau? I found it on the internet.

Caught again.

Yeah.

I must have been.

I must have been.

Yeah.

Everything you read on the internet is true.

Everything you read is true.

Okay.

Well,

let's.

I might've been scrambling to give an answer.

I mean,

I do.

We do have that bond.

We have that,

that kinship.

Yeah.

Right.

We're,

we're noted haters of him.

We can clarify though, like scale of one to 10. How much you say that you like bryson dechambeau um how much do i like i i don't actively root against him okay that's not good enough for us yeah that's a wrong answer now is this now let me ask you this is this a new hate or is this an old hate or it really comes down to we're just incredibly loyal guys so we're uh friends with brooks kapka and actually i don't even think brooks hates him we just decided that we like we the the way people root for golf, we never understood, like, how you can just kind of root for everyone.
Golf is more fun when you just pick, like, one or two guys and that's your guy and it's like a sports team and then everyone else, like, we really, if you actually boil it down, I don't think we, like, actually think Bryson DeChambeau's a bad guy, but we hate other golfers like they're our rivals. I got it.
I actually respect that. Thank you.
I like that. Yeah.
I mean, so here's my golf take. I don't really understand it or why it is, and maybe you can help me.
So I feel like unless you have a vested interest in something, something right like dynasties you don't root for typically right like unless you're a new england guy you you kind of hate the patriots right like you you're not you're not rooting for them same yankees same lakers same whatever right i and so i think i feel way. I know I feel that way in general about other sports without mentioning teams specifically, but for me, the crazy thing is Tiger Woods in that when I was watching Tiger Woods or when I watched Tiger Woods, I want him to dominate.
Like I just, and I, and I don't know what that is. And then, you know, it's like, Oh, here, this guy's the new tiger.
This is speed. This is so-and-so.
And I don't, I don't, I don't ever have that feeling anymore. So my question is like, what was it about him that made him so transcendent that I feel like a lot of people feel the same way I do.
I think it was just, was so different from everybody else that was in golf at that time. When he came along, nobody showed emotion.
You might get a fist pump occasionally out of a guy if he made a big putt, but he treated being out on the golf course like you see a football player. A quarterback that throws a touchdown, they get pumped up like Brett Favre would go jump into his teammates' arms, things like that.
Tiger looked like, I don't want to say he was having fun out on the course, but he displayed all the emotions. He was getting pumped up.
He would yell at himself. He'd be like, come on, Woods.
He'd cuss himself out if he hit a drive into the woods. He was just so different and exciting that it got a lot of people into golf that wouldn't normally be golf fans.
And so that's your guy that got you there so you're going to kind of stick around for a while yes yeah i hear that i'd also throw out the idea that tiger was so good that it became like it became something bigger than golf like he almost broke golf when he's winning like a u.s open by 10 strokes that you're now no longer being like there's no one else to root for against tiger it's just tiger against the game of golf almost he transcended at that point where it's like how can someone master the sport that is impossible to master and he got the closest ever and probably no one will ever get as close as he did you know the tiger slam and just beating people like it's unheard of to beat people by that many strokes in those type of tournaments that I think it becomes like everyone just wants to root for him because you in the moment are saying we're witnessing something we may never see again right no I think that's a good take I mean I think both of those things are part of it for sure. And, yes, I like that idea.

Like you were rooting to see things that you never had seen before

and hadn't seen before and may never see again.

It's kind of like Steph Curry right now.

Like Steph Curry, you know, people obviously had Warriors fatigue.

But when Steph Curry gets going and he hits, you know, 10, 11 threes in a game,

you're like, holy shit, this is – we're witnessing something that's totally different than everything else and no one's even close to as good of a shooter as he is yeah that's that's interesting because i never i never really got and maybe i was missing something i never really got the warriors hate and that's actually a good call because i don't know. I felt like their basketball at its pure, when they were rolling was just such pure, fundamental, great basketball coupled with an amazing shooter that maybe we've never seen before.
Yeah. Two top 10 shooters with clay.
That was Kevin Durant. Yeah.
So when Kevin Durant joined the team, then I think people were like, okay, we liked this team when it was the Splash Brothers, when it was Draymond, and they were kind of like a homegrown team. Kevin Durant goes out there.
And then at that point it was like, now this is just unfair. No other team really has a chance, whereas you might run it.
You might catch lightning in a bottle, and Klay and Steph would go. They'd shoot like 25% on a single night, and you might be able to beat them.
their shots actually you know lightning in a bottle and clay and steph would go you know they'd shoot like 25 percent on uh on a single night and you might be able to beat them their shots actually you know who had a better shot than them was you at the end of that one episode the basketball episode when you just went out there and you were wet you were fucking wet are you like you're a good basketball player i assume you're probably the best basketball player on the set mean, I would say yes. John Krasinski might argue with me on that.
But that's really how that started was we were children. You give a child a ball and what do they do? They bounce it and they shoot it.
So we're like on a professional television set, like trying to get work done. And it was like cut.
And he and I would just start bouncing the ball, shooting the ball. And it was really that, that that moment was not scripted, that everybody sort of realized that I could shoot.
And it was sort of like, oh, hey, this would be funny. At the end, when everybody's walking off, they decided to turn the camera on me.
And yeah, and by the way, you got to check the on the dvd it was 13 in a row from free throw line extended i'm whoa in in a suit jacket and work shoes that's actually that's very impressive that's very very impressive i so let's let's definitely talk a little office i want to go back to the sports after because it is like i said a little rare that we have actor who comes on who's a huge sports fan the office everyone loves it it's i mean one of the funniest shows ever was there a moment i'm always curious about the moment that everyone collectively says holy shit we got like this is something like the the the genius moment the light bulb moment for a bunch of very funny people to be like oh yeah this is going to be incredible you know i'll give you i'll answer that in two ways one is that the set and for people who are fans of the show they're letting go like holy shit like that was the second episode but the second episode of the show that we shot was diversity day which maybe was one of our best. And, you know, when we were on set, I remember like, I remember so specifically thinking, wow, I don't know if people are going to watch this show because it was so different.
There was no laugh track at the time. We all didn't look like the cast of friends, you know, there was all this happening, but I was like, man like man if people give this show a chance we have a chance because we're talking about like real things in a funny different way that's not done on television period so that was for me like creatively I was like okay this is like this could be really good but um the moment I would say say, was the very first Christmas episode that we did in season two.
It was the Yankee swap and the iPod and all this stuff. And it was a big ensemble episode.
Like every single character had something to do. And that episode, we woke up the next day and 10 million people had watched it at that time on that night it was the first time we'd gone over and it was like oh yeah this is like oh okay and we were struggling so much in the ratings up to that point that it was sort of like oh you know i hope we can finish the season out because at at that point we weren't that was not guaranteed.
And then suddenly it was like, oh, we're going to we're going to be around for a while. Yeah, a decade.
You brought up an interesting point and one that's kind of always fascinated me, which is the laugh track, the laugh track in American television. So it's one of these things where we just have agreed to not talk about it enough because it's just in the background of every comedy show, every sitcom.
And when you guys were making The Office, there's no laugh track. It's shot handheld.
It looks different. It sounds different.
Was there any pushback from people at ESPN that you heard about or excuse me, at NBC that you heard about that were saying like, hey, how are people going to know when they should laugh? How are people going to know what's funny if they don't have, you know, uh, 200 people laughing along with them? Oh, a hundred percent. And you know, it's, it's really interesting that, um, for this podcast cast, I'm doing the office deep dive.
One of the conversations I have, which is sort of like, I was worried, like, is anyone going to care about this guy? Like, why do they want to hear from him? They want to hear from Steve Carell and all that, which we talked to, but Kevin Riley, who was the head of NBC at the time and was kind of the person who championed the show and made sure it stayed on the air when a lot of people at NBC didn't want it on the air. It tested, he said, like, you know, they do this testing, they shoot the pilot.
They show it to people. And they're like, should we do this show? And it got like a zero, like no, like all of the rooms, like everyone said, like, no, no, no.
He was like, OK, thank you. OK, thank you.
And then there was one room. He told the story.
I had not heard the story before. There was one room at the end pretty large room of people larger than the other rooms which were um the assistants the like um assistance of other executives the interns like all of the young people and he walked in and said so what what did you guys think and their response this is almost quote from him, was, not only is this the best thing that you have shown today, it's kind of the only thing that's even currently on the network that we would even watch, and we love it.
And he shut the door and was like, thank you very much, walked out, and he was like, we're doing this show because it has such a different i always call it kind of subversive sensibility that that kind of applies to uh a younger audience yeah and it's interesting to think about the office and the time and place because you the office is a show that if it were today with the streaming platforms it it would be an instant hit, I feel like,

because people would just be like, oh, you have to watch this.

You guys were, you know, it's crazy to even say, but there was a time and place that you

watched it.

Obviously DVR existed, but I remember sitting down, watching it, being like, oh, the office

is on tonight.

Was it Thursday nights, I think?

Right.

Thursday nights.

And it was like, all right, we're going to watch The Office tonight.

So it is funny to think about, like guys surviving that uh transition in tv like where there's you know tv used to be that appointment television sit down and you have to make a conscious decision now it's a lot more passive you just watch funny shit all the time right and you know i think i think that's how a lot of hits are made now too right like social, all of that. Like when a show starts getting talked about and a lot of the streaming stuff, at least for a long time, was kind of a secret, like who's watching, but it sort of became anecdotal.
And I think one of the things that we, again, that we talk about is that, you know, it was this whole antiquated Nielsen rating system, which nobody really understands,

but Nielsen rating,

and they say like 10 million people are watching, right?

What that means is a certain percentage of people who were given boxes

that they put on top of their TV

that they record what they're watching,

were watching it.

And I always said, even back in the day,

again, just from walking around,

being around colleges or like whatever, it's like college kids are not given a Nielsen box. Right.
Right. Like what was what's happening? You know, hearing like, oh, yeah, we watch it in our dorms.
We blah, blah, blah. It's like none of that was being recorded.
And I feel like, well, I know what happened was the that same Christmas that that Christmas episode came out that we were referring to, and it featured a video iPod. Think about that.
That was the very first video iPod. I mean, that was the first time you could watch something and put it in your pocket and pull it out.
And they made a deal to put The Office on that, and it was immediately the number one show on there. And that was, again, that was another where it was like, whoa, like, okay, yeah, people are watching this that are not necessarily being recorded.
You're absolutely right. I mean, we're both 36, so I remember watching it with all my roommates in college, like finding out about The Office in college, being like, holy shit, this show is totally different and hilarious.
Right. I think there's also like a big illegally streamed or download like LimeWire.
Yeah. Remember LimeWire? Yeah.
There's LimeWire, Family Guy, Heather Brooke. Those were like the big three of anybody that had a dorm room.
And so there was a lot of stuff that didn't get didn't get tracked, like you said, by the by the Nielsen boxes. I'm really glad that it stuck around for a while because, you know, obviously it's probably, I'm just going to say my favorite comedy that I've ever seen on television.
It was, you know what we should do? So Mel Kuyper, the draft analyst, he watches his old shows. He has them on DVD.
He'll watch, like, Dallas on Friday nights at 8 when it used to air. We should just as a nation say Thursday nights, what, 8 o'clock? Thursday nights at 8 o'clock? Yeah, 9 o'clock.
9 o'clock. We're all sitting down watching The Office together.
Yeah. We don't do stuff together as a country anymore.
I think that would be helpful. I think that is a very good idea.
Two things based on what you just said one that's a phenomenal idea and two you owe me some money because you downloaded legally online wire yeah i owe you a lot yeah yeah i absolutely i'm broke legally uh you mentioned the memes uh there's a one of the all-time most incredible gifts is kevin spilling the chili yes When you spilled the chili uh i've always wondered how long it actually took to clean up that mess and if they just redid the carpet after that because you can't you can't get chili out of a carpet so by the way first first time anyone has ever thought or considered that so very well done um you know we did a lot of prep for this scene obviously it was it was gonna be messy um and I got kind of pulled aside again I remember really specifically from uh the set decorator and the props department and you know sometimes like like during a sporting event like a certain there'll be a little huddle where the head coach may not be listening or whatever. And they came to me and they're like, Hey, um, so we have three gigantic pieces of carpet.
And when I say gigantic piece of carpet, I mean, from the front entryway around the reception desk, all the way, like a humongous piece of carpet. They're like, we could only get three.
so you got to help us out like we have to

do this in three takes or we're like we're dead like there's nothing to be done um as as i i i got it in one thankfully uh one one take but i i don't what they didn't really consider was cleaning me.

There wasn't three of me.

I really don't

think I could have uh i could i could have gone again that's what that's what she said i um i i don't think yeah i mean it was it was a huge mess it was i mean it's it is an iconic scene and one that like if you show it to anyone they will laugh anyone scene, they will laugh. That's got to feel pretty good to be like, you know, you're not the main character, but, you know, you have one of the best scenes of all time in the office.
You should get, like, actually, how is that not an NFT? You need to make millions off of that. I don't know.
Who knows? Maybe it will be. There we go.
Maybe. You probably have it ready to go.
Maybe it will be. I, yeah, I don't know.
I think that I never, obviously, I mean, you're in the middle of, you know, shooting 10 years and it was one moment. And it was such a different kind of a thing.
Just me played mostly in like voiceover style. Like the style was even little funky and different and um certainly i i knew it was fun and it was kind of a fun challenge i never imagined that it would be what it has become now yeah and yeah it's it's one of my favorites well um who was the guy who was a person uh male or female who made everyone everyone laugh the most like on set when the cameras are not rolling? Oh, when the cameras were not rolling.
I'll tell you, I think, well, I mean, look, that's a great question. Well, one, I would say that pound for pound, Oscar Nunez might be the funniest person on the planet, at least to me personally.
Like he is I called him in his introduction for the podcast. He's like a chameleon.
And what I mean is, is like like most people sort of have a style. They're like Farley or they're deadpan or they're whatever.
he like does it all like like most people sort of have a style they're like farley or they're deadpan or

they're whatever he like does it all and like just knows exactly which direction to go he's hilarious um but i'm and and steve carell i believe is the greatest improviser maybe in the history of entertainment.

I mean, he just, he, anytime

he improvises, it's always

on top. greatest improviser maybe in the history of entertainment i mean he just he anytime he improvises it's always on topic it's always super smart in character to the point you know never veers in a weird direction um it's funny you brought up family guy right like family guy family guy it could be really really funny right but so much of their funny is like well that reminds me of the time that this happened which is totally off story and they go into a weird like flashback thing and come back that's way easier than like staying right and keep telling this right story and doing that but it's funny Steve like when the cameras weren't rolling

he was very not that way really and I always felt like it was I described him again in one of the

interviews for the podcast almost like not intentionally and I don't mean this in a in a

derogatory way but kind of like absent-minded professory like you know like you know like

going through rehearsal and he's kind of got his papers and he's like

Thank you. but kind of like absent-minded professory, like, you know, like, you know, like going through rehearsal and he's kind of got his papers and he's like, you know, reading through and nothing, nothing is there.
And I always took it thought that it was about, he didn't want to reveal anything that he was doing because when the cameras rolled, I believed he was trying in every moment to make somebody else laugh. I love that.
He was trying to keep it right on this line where he didn't want you to laugh to ruin a take, but he wanted you to laugh. And he didn't want to reveal anything that he was going to do before the cameras were rolling.
That's great. I mean, that's genius because that also, I mean, that right there sums up his entire character where he's always on the line of like what is like it's he's really dumb but he's also a genius and it all just worked right well i mean like the the biggest and what's become the most famous example which seems like totally crazy and i don't know how big of fans of the show to those of you who are, the gay witch hunt episode where he finds out that Oscar's character is gay and he decides he's going to be as woke as he possibly can be.
And what he decides to do is to kiss Oscar in this moment. That was totally improvised.
That wasn't scripted. So we're there as he like is like trying to get up the courage to kiss him and that was all and we and so in that moment we really were like characters in the office going like is he about to yeah can he do that is that wait a sec it was like and that's that's just one example of many but yeah probably the biggest that's yeah you know that one sandwich you always crave the one that just hits every single time for me it's a simple yet perfect combination boar's head oven gold turkey sliced thin piled high on fresh sourdough with sharp cheddar crisp lettuce tomato a little honey mustard and just a touch of mayo simple but the flavors unreal and that's the thing when you start with quality ingredients you don't need to do much boar's head is my go-to because every bite tastes like it was made just for me premium cuts incredible flavor and that perfect balance of freshness.
So next time you're at the deli, do yourself a favor. Ask for Boar's Head and build your ultimate sandwich.
Trust me, you'll taste the difference. Head to your local Boar's Head deli and experience the craftsmanship behind every bite.
There's always the rumors about a reunion of sorts. And now it's on Peacock.
Obviously, people are talking about it a little bit more. Actually, this is great timing with the show because Greg Daniels just did an interview.
It just hit Twitter. They said that you guys do have something planned and that you guys are going to be getting together and it's going to be something to watch.
So what are your thoughts on that? Are you excited to get back into this or what? Wait a second. You know what this feels like? Do I pick up my phone and check Twitter right now? That is very rude in the middle of an interview.
Greg Daniels just – oh, it just came out on Twitter. It's weird.
You can if you want to look. Tom Brady is going to Redskins.
I'm sorry, the Washington football team. The Washington football team.
Thank you. You can look.
You don't believe us? No, no, no. I'm kidding.
Well, I'll answer how I would have answered without you giving me that information. I believe that we will get back together again.
I think the problem is, and I'll sort of talk this through with you, is that I think what people expect or want, when they say they want the office to come back, is they want more episodes of what the show was. And as I always say to people, that's, it's a very, that's a very and complicated idea.
Right. Because, like, if you recall at the end of The Office, Stanley's in Florida.
Kevin was fired and is now running a bar. Jim and Pam live in Austin.
Dwight and Angela are married. You know, Steve, Michael Scott is in Colorado.
like it kind of wasn't the same by the end and so how how do you go back to that you know and i and i so i think that's the confusing thing although what i also say is they brought back roseanne and john goodman's character was literally dead in the first incarnation so anything anything is possible, I suppose. But, you know, I think that there I can envision a situation where, where, where, yes, we are, we are reunited in some way.
It seems like it'd be, you're right, people are, they want it, they want old episodes of the office to just continue to be made. And that's hard for a lot of reasons, like you said, with the characters, also the production staff, the people who are writers.
A lot of those people are off doing other things where they're in charge of certain projects and stuff. So it's not going to be the exact same group.
And as much as I would like to see it, there are going to be people that are going to be mad about it just because it's not season three of the office which is more about where they were in life at the time that they watched it that they hold that like that certain memory about it so i i do want to see come back but i also understand why it uh why it might be tough and why some people might not want to do it well you know it's interesting that what what greg daniels always said right? And this to me is the beauty of how the show ended,

that we decided to end it, it wasn't like canceled,

and that from the very beginning,

his idea was we're shooting a documentary, right?

The documentary crew is shooting a paper company, and that at some point, that documentary has to be revealed then. Like, that has to go out into the world.
But when that does, much like reality television, right, that changes the people who are subjects of that documentary. So, like, all of the characters have to, once Kevin sees himself on television and how he has been edited, he then has to behave differently than he does before that time.
And so his idea always was he wants to do it, but once that happens, then the show as we knew it before no longer exists. That was what he said.
Just an idea. You can take it or leave it.
A documentary that follows you, Creed, and Andy Buckley, David Wallace around, and you guys start a band together. I'm in.
Both of those are fantastic guys and great. That would be a lot, a lot of fun.
That would be fun's a long he's like one of our like fifth guests maybe like six years ago so okay he's the best he's a psycho yeah he's total psycho total he's a total psycho uh so i don't have this take but people in our office do at least just one person says that they made your character too dumb at the end of the office i disagree but was that a conscious uh decision just happened naturally you know i think that i think that there certainly was a progression of care of kevin and what happened i think a part of that is, you know, from the beginning of the show where the writers kind of wanted to take it, where I took it based on what the writers were giving me, given me, you know, that certainly happened. I, I had this very nerdy, I mean, this is way too nerdy a topic for, for your show, but my sort of weird actor justification for some of that was that when the camera crew showed up at the office, Kevin was very, very uncomfortable.
And so was way more reserved. And then as he became more comfortable with them being around,

more of his true self came out.

That's real actor deep nerd shit.

I like that.

Yeah, it's good.

But that was what I did for myself in order to sort of go where they went.

I think to answer that specific comment by the co-worker,

I know that once, I i mean this is not exclusively true right but like in order of dumb stupid comedy of physical comedy it kind of went michael scott and dwight shrew and kevin and so I know that consciously once Michael left,

they leaned on Kevin to do a lot more

or extend the physical comedy that he was doing

because Michael was no longer there,

if that makes sense.

That makes perfect sense.

Yeah.

Again, I wasn't the one who had the take,

Brandon Walker did.

No, no, no.

But that was discussed. Yeah.
Yeah. Again, I wasn't the one who had the take.
Brandon Walker did. Yeah.
No, no, no. But that was a – that was disgust.
Yeah. And at times I would go to the writer's room.
I would get a scene or something and be like, guys, I know some of you have written for The Simpsons, but I'm not actually Homer Simpson. There are physical limitations to my body that a cartoon you don't have to worry about so like let's keep that in mind when we're falling on your head yeah right yes um all right back to sports for a second if i said to you you're i assume you're a huge football fan yes if i said to you uh your team had the what's your team the green bay packers Okay, soetically let's say the green bay packers had uh what some would say is the best quarterback in the nfl for a decade plus three mvps how many super bowls do you think they would have um who was their coach over those 10 years it doesn't matter it's about the quarterback right I'm sorry what was the question how many Super Bowls would they have

they would Who was their coach over those 10 years? It doesn't matter. It's about the quarterback, right? I'm sorry.
What was the question? How many Super Bowls would they have? They had the best quarterback, a lot of people are saying, who might retire to do Jeopardy full-time. If they had that guy, right, hypothetically, they should certainly win more than one Super Bowl, right? I think that a lot of things go in.

I mean, this is like the dumbest sports take of all time.

But, you know, you have to be great and you also have to catch some breaks.

Oh, like Jay Cutler hurting his knee break.

Yeah, you're right.

So it's actually zero Super Bowls.

Wait, are you saying that Aaron Rodgers would not have a Super Bowl were it not for Jay Cutler getting injured? Yeah, right, exactly. So it's actually zero Super Bowls.
Wait, are you saying that Aaron Rodgers would not have a Super Bowl

were it not for Jay Cutler getting injured?

Yeah, right, exactly.

So you did catch that break.

I'm a Bears fan, by the way, so I just hate you for this.

And, like, there's all I have left.

I know how desperate I sound.

I know how stupid I sound.

It's very desperate.

Oh, it's incredibly desperate.

But I still have to put on a brave face, okay? Who's going to be your quarterback this year, by the way? AD 14. Ever heard of him? He's a super nice guy.
Great guy. Fuck you.
He's a great, great guy. I really like him a lot.
Shit. Yeah, I mean, I don't know.
Yeah, certainly I wish. I thought last year they had a great, and they did.
They had a great chance. When are we going to air this? Do you know? Next week.
Okay, next week. So the draft already happened.
Grade the Green Bay Packers draft. You guys picked another quarterback in the first round.
Yeah, that was smart. Don't get me started.
Yeah, that was not smart. We don't know that.
I'll agree with you there. Yeah.
There I will go with you. All right, last question.
It is actually the Roback question. Use code PFT on Roback.com for 20% off your first purchase.
R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com, code PFT. They make the best performance polos and the only performance polos we wear.
And for our guest today, we'd like to gift you a Roback Performance Q-Zip on us.

I feel like every time we talk to someone in Hollywood, they just don't have enough time to watch sports. You are a big sports fan.
You clearly keep up with all of it. Is that a wrong assessment on my part? Because I feel like every time we talk to an actor and you ask, oh, do you like this? they'll have some very surface level understanding of a sport and give you a line and be like,

but you can clear,

you can clear you can clearly tell they don't watch nfl on sundays like they don't clear their schedule for an nfl sunday oh i watch nfl and i know you do i know you do no so here here here's here's my theory i don't i didn't come up with this i think i heard it one time but i've kind of taken it over as mine now you guys don't necessarily count now because now your business

is sports okay but for someone whose business is not one of these three things the the theory goes

like this your brain only has the ability for one of uh to to uh to not comprehend but to retain

Thank you. your brain only has the ability for one of, uh, to, to, uh, to not comprehend, but to retain one of three things, sports information, music information, or useless trivia.
So not if you're, if you're, cause you're, you do this. So you might have another hobby, which might be be the other thing but basically a person's brain can only do one of those three things trivia forget it like and music i could almost i can sing tunes of which i get about three words out of 20 correct couldn't tell you who sang it or what the song is i mean you know unless it's like a standard that i happen to love i'm terrible at that but sports that's my interest so like that's that's my distraction and whether it's playing golf or watching sports that's my distraction and my hobby i think that's actually like couldn't be more spot on we have a trivia tournament coming up here at the barstool offices and the two best players probably are a guy named kb and a guy named kirk and i think the reason why they are the best players is they don't really watch sports so they just have so i mean they watch it but they don't like it's not an obsession so they just have time to fill their brains with actual knowledge and like things that matter whereas we have you know i mean like i always think i probably could have cured cancer if i didn't watch wrestling as a kid like you know what i mean like my so much of my brain power was kept up with just like who is stone cold gonna stun tonight that i wasted so so many brain cells on that that i'm always gonna be behind right and like i yeah no that's exactly right and like i can go i can't tell you these songs that i should totally know but i can basically tell you uh excluding hockey i would get foggy there but like on the other sport like i could tell you just divisions and all the teams that are in the divisions and kind of where they sit.
Maybe not exactly right now. Baseball just started.
But yeah, that's just I just that it's that's where my distraction lies. So big had mentioned that you're in Hollywood.
Are you actually in Hollywood? I just always assume that if I've ever seen anybody on a TV show or on a big screen that they currently live in Hollywood. How does that work? I do not anymore.
I moved away a little bit. So I'm down in Southern California, but I'm not in Los Angeles.
No, that's Hollywood. Southern California is Hollywood? I think so.
Yeah, that's Hollywood. I think if you're in showbiz and you're below San Francisco, you're in Hollywood.
You live, what, an hour away from Hollywood? A couple hours. A couple hours.
It's Hollywood. What, you live in? Mexico? What's going on here? No, more down towards San Diego.
Okay, so San Diego's Hollywood still. No, that's crazy.
You're right. It's the Navy.
No, that's like saying Westchester is New York City or Connecticut is New York City. But you could get, if someone was like, hey, if your agent calls like, hey, we need you to read for this, you don't have to book a flight.
You're in Hollywood. Gotcha.
What'd you take, the 405? With this animosity, he strikes me as a Temecula guy. I'm not in Temecula, I promise you.
Do you have any other sports hot takes for us? Do you want to get off your chest? Because we'll grade them for you. You'll grade my hot takes.
Yeah, we have the dumbest takes of all time on this show. Basically, the show is built on being idiots who love sports.
Grade, we mean we'll steal them and pass them off as our own. I don't know.
I mean, the draft is coming up. I think all this stuff with San Francisco is really interesting.
And also, depending on where you sit on the conspiracy theory lines, all very bizarre. Go on.
Yes. What do you mean by conspiracy theory lines? No.
Is it reptilian? No. San Francisco, since the new regime came in,

everything they've done has been very secretive.

It's all sort of come out of – been a surprise.

And now I don't know if they're really going to take him with a third pick.

Who, Mac Jones? You think they're going to take Fields or Trey Lance?

I don't know if they're going to draft a quarterback. Oh, let's go.
This is all going to sound so dumb because we're going to run this next week, but I love it. Go on.
Is it Kyle Pitts? I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know. If you end up being right, we're going to cut this, by the way, so that we can't have our guests look good good by the way i'm not saying i just the whole thing is very odd to me and i think that people i think there it's a very it's just a very weird situation because they haven't lost a ton from two years ago and they were really really hurt last year um they're just not that far away so i don't i don't know the nfl is the one league where there are there's clearly people who are nervous about their secrets being stolen and and all that stuff but there also is a lot of franchises that put on a front who are like doing things to try to like dupe people and it's like we it's not that hard i You're going to take a quarterback probably.
You're going to take a quarterback that you like. But they love this smokescreen and having everyone think one thing and then they do another.
It's like, yeah. It'd be very funny if the Jets straight up took Mac Jones, number two overall, after smokescreening Zach Wilson's entire time.
That would be a big-time Jets move. Like, we'reing everyone.
Like, oh shit, we can't let this happen. Kyle Shanahan sees something.
He's close. Yeah, they're nervous because 49ers are right behind him.
It'd be funny if Kyle Shanahan just straight up took a running back with the third over. If he took Najee Harris, number three overall.
Anything is possible. I don't think that's going to happen.
happen but anything is possible anything is possible except when you air this nothing nothing will be possible everything we say will be stupid yes uh yeah brian this has been awesome though we really appreciate it uh anytime you want to come on and talk sports we'd love to have you um and yeah we can't wait for the office reunion are you a gambling guy occasionally. You like to place a few bets? Occasionally.
Yeah. Okay.
We can. Oh, actually, it was pointed out to me, it's not the same, but your Twitter, what does it say on your Twitter? Life's too short to be unhappy.
Is that right? That sounds right. I don't know.
My saying is life's too short to bet the under. So similar, similar vibe.
Because I am unhappy whenever I bet the under because it's just a miserable experience. It's miserable.
Right. Yeah.
I call them movie unders. If I really love an under, I'll go see a movie.
I'll bet the under and I'll go see a movie because I don't want to watch the game. That's a great – i know especially in basketball oh yeah no see yeah

you're like oh especially in basketball in football and also baseball and hockey and soccer

yeah the under sucks but you know what the people who bet unders always win so i fucking hate them

yeah yeah contrarians smarter people than me yes um well thank you so much really appreciate it man has been awesome. And seriously, anytime you want to come back on, we'd love to have you.
Thanks, you guys. I appreciate it.
Hey, it's Rhea from Chicks in the Office. It's officially mini skort season and Abercrombie has the ones to go out in.
Their Scarlet Mini is a classic. It's one of those skirts that fits the outfit vibe for any plans.
And I'm excited to style their new Sienna Skort. It's a little more flirty and it's perfect for date night.
Make plans to go out in Abercrombie. Shop their newest arrivals in store and online.
Okay, let's wrap up the show with some listener FAQs. I love these FAQs.
I like the change up. I've enjoyed talking to the fans.

Who owns Wi-Fi?

Is it just out there?

Does anybody,

and anybody can have it

if they can find it?

Does the government own it?

Melinda Gates.

God.

Now.

After the divorce.

Does that mean

the price will go up

because Bill needs some cash?

Yes.

The only explanation behind Wi-Fi is that just like, it doesn't, it's the only thing on Earth that can't be owned. It's not meant to be tamed.
Yeah, this is one of those things. Thinking about Wi-Fi and the Internet truly blows my mind, so I just don't do it.
Is there an off switch? I don't think that there's an off switch for the Internet. In House of Cards, there was.
Remember, they jammed it all up. Yeah, I mean, magnets always work.
Electromagnetic pulses tend to work. Yeah, I think we took out all the satellites in space.
Shot all of them? If you want to take down Wi-Fi. No, you're talking about 5G.
I'm talking about the cables and shit that go underneath the ocean. But those all get beamed up as well.
Godzilla could probably take them out. Damn.
A gnarly earthquake feels like it would have some problems with Wi-Fi. You got satellites.
PMTFQ, seeing as it's a place where guys can be dudes, how messy is a studio on an average day? Does it smell in there? It actually doesn't smell. It's pretty messy.
It's just messy. The only time it smells is when if somebody spills water right underneath the bench press because that's where a pumpkin squash exploded last year.
And so when water gets in there and starts to evaporate, it brings a smell out with it. I still have no idea how that squash.
I would say that right now it's pretty clean. It is.
It is pretty clean. I consider clean on whether or not if someone was visiting, I'd want to show them the room

or if I would have secondhand embarrassment being like, this is our studio.

Right now, I'd be fine being like, this is the room.

My clean threshold is-

Our corner is disgusting.

Can I move my chair six inches?

Yes.

Right now, it's yes.

So if I can move my chair any direction in six inches, that is incredibly clean. I would bring my dad in here, not my mom.
Mm-hmm. Yeah, our pile.
That's actually like their level of comfort. Hank's starting to get a little...
He's getting a little embarrassed about a pile. Oh, really? Yeah.
Why? Yeah, I mean, I don't know. It's tough because it's myself.
And we're going to sell it for charity. We always sell it for charity.
And I'm going to match. Yeah.
Charity. Charity, bro.
Charity right in your fucking face. It's just gross.
It just looks bad on pictures. It's just not.
It's just like. Oh, boo hoo.
Hank hates small business. Oh, some people are going to.
You know what? Hey, kids with cancer. Why did you all die? Oh, because Hank didn't like the pictures.
Yeah. All right.
So this is kind of a guys on chicks, but they put in an FAQ text line, so we're going to read it. My friend's girlfriend broke up with him for two days, and they got back together.
The problem is that during those two days, the girlfriend tried to fuck the boyfriend's roommate, who is the boyfriend's best friend, I might add. The friend did not say anything to the boyfriend because he did not want to make it weird and ruin their friendship,

even though the friend and girlfriend did not actually do anything.

Double parentheses for all we know.

But now everyone in our friend group knows

that his girlfriend tried to fuck his best friend slash roommate,

and he has text messages as evidence.

Do we say anything to our friend or just let it go on?

This is a real story, and I would love to hear what you guys have to say.

Can't wait to listen to tomorrow's pod. Sounds like you guys are definitely keeping it wrapped up under tight lips.
No one's going to talk about this. You guys have like a mountain of evidence.
You refer to it as evidence already, so I assume that that means that at some point someone's just like waiting for the right time to drop the bomb on the person. Maybe just don't tell the person and then in a group text with them be like, did you listen to today's pmt i think with thought there was some interesting stuff there at the end two days of breaking up is just enough time to be like well she just kind of lost her mind for a couple days like that was she wasn't thinking you know what i mean like that wasn't that was totally it was just kind of thing.
Like, if they had been broken up for two weeks and she, like, sincerely pursued it, maybe she was getting drunk for two days straight and she just didn't have her wits about her. But I would not say a word ever about anything.
I think the, under any circumstance. Only other option is you just got to have an orgy.
Just get everybody involved. Yeah, that too.
That too. That would work.
How do the boys pull themselves out of a gambling slump? Usually, I'll just do what Hank does. Yeah, I was going to say, hit a Moneyline Underdog.
Yeah. Actually, to be totally honest.
It doesn't matter how many times it takes you to hit it. Yeah.
Once you hit a plus number, you're like, oh.

1-800-GAMBLER if you have a gambling problem.

But to be totally honest, if you're in a gambling slump, taking a day or two off to clear your head will do wonders.

Because essentially, it's like you just got to stop the losing so that you don't push, you don't press, and you're not thinking like, oh, I got to win my next bet.

You give yourself a day or two, a mental day, and then maybe dip your toe back in with one.

Because then when you win one, you feel good about yourself.

and we'll see you next time. thinking like oh i gotta win my next bet you give yourself a day or two a mental day and then maybe dip your toe back in with one because then when you win one you feel good about yourself responsibly of course yeah well that was the most responsible thing i've ever said in my life for real and i have a child speaking of child big cat i need your help with this oh the other morning i was waking my eight-year-old son up for school my back has turned to the the door, and I'm talking to my kid.
I bend over to pick something up. My back is turned away.
And then, out of nowhere, my husband comes in with a super Nerf gun fully loaded and shoots me right in the asshole. Point blank.
FYI, the big Nerf bullets, not the little ones. I'm not joking.
I get pissed and start screaming at him because he shot me, and he did it in front of our kid. Of course, my son starts laughing because he thinks it's awesome.
And my husband can't stop laughing. My husband goes to work and tells all the guys.
And he comes home saying that they all said you have to take the shot. We are still not in agreement with this.
What are your thoughts? Do you take the shot? From a girl perspective, I just don't understand why. Please help.
You have to take the shot, but then you have to have to get it back like you have to buy the biggest nerf gun you can find like one of those uh automatic ones that has that shoots like 50 nerf bullets in five seconds and just unload on him like in the shower or when he's in a compromised position maybe when he's sleeping on the couch watching golf, you need to get him back and have your son watch. And have it be recorded.
Yes. And then, this is very important, you got him right in the nuts.
Yes. Not in the asshole.
The nut shot will be way funnier. It'll hurt him more, and he won't have a leg to stand on when it comes to complaining about it.
One of the skills you can uh grow or have in life and it's i it's i still struggle with it i think everyone struggles with it is to have the presence of mind when like a prank goes against you to be like act cool because now i have carte blanche to get revenge if you freak out then everyone's like oh you made too big of a deal of it if you can figure out a way in the moment it's very hard to do but when you can be like alright cool you just fucking blasted me in my ass at 7 in the morning in front of our son now it's on motherfucker because then if you act cool and then you respond in kind and he doesn't act cool you're the cool parent forever hey Bub're so mysterious. What do you do all show? And what do you like to do in your free time besides order a ton of food and pass out before it gets there and sleep through your alarms? Hashtag get Bubba a mic.
A lot of MapQuest, right? I do have a microphone when people say that. I cut cameras live during the show and don't really feel like I need to talk during it most of the time so i don't do you have a camera on you right now no there's not a camera there's no camera all right hashtag get bubba cam and every six months gets like way too lit bubba go to hank right now that's actually not true i did when i was like 22 true like when i found you in the sauna forget about when i found you in the sauna after the super bowl that was a bad one.
Bubba, I want to test your reflexes. I was 21 years old.
Sleeping in the sauna. Yes, that's true.
Sauna wasn't on because I think it had a timer, so it was on for the first two hours of your sleep. Bubba, reflex time.
Alright? Go to Hank. Big cat.
Yeah, I mean this is Bubba's integral part of the show. Alright, I want to see what your reaction time was like.
He puts up the YouTube. He does the clips.
He's an integral part of the show. We have a YouTube channel.
We have a YouTube channel. You should subscribe to it.
Yeah, it's only got like 225,000 followers that we just haven't talked about, but let's talk about it. YouTube.
We're going to start doing more stuff on YouTube. But yeah, Bubba does all that stuff.
So he's definitely more important than some people who can't be named that aren't here this month. But he is a very integral part of our entire operation.
And he fell asleep in a sauna once after the Super Bowl, but that's not a big deal. We're coming very close to saying the D word over the course of this episode.
Yeah, we are. Hey, Big Cat, PFT, Jake.
Almost said it. Liam and Liam.
It's Marcelo. Would you consider doing another 24-hour stream for a Grit Week in the future? Yes.
So many great moments from the last one. Yeah, but we'd have to do it differently.
I'd only limit myself to like 21 beers instead of 24. I would actually love to do it again.
I think it was fun. I mean, it was obviously a lot, but maybe we could do it.
It would be nice if we could do it with sports on. Yeah, I was going to say because we get 500,000 subscribers by tomorrow.
We'll do it. No, let's say no.
Let's give actually a real. Let's give a real number.
So are we at what? We're at 220. If we get 500,000 subscribers by tomorrow, we'll do it tonight.
No, when you listen, when you're listening. No, no.
Let's give a give a real let's do a real one so what are we at for real we're something 227 sure so let's get up to 27 let's get up to 500,000 by tonight if we get up to no no i think if we get up to 500,000 subscribers by the time uh the nfl season kicks off we will do a 24-hour grit stream during the NFL season. That seems fair.
Maybe. No, let's do it.
Let's do it like August 15th. We'll do it before the NFL season.
We don't want to do it during NFL season. When would we do it? We do it like Sunday morning through Monday? That's what I'm saying.
We do it at the end of summer, and then we start the season. NFL season is crazy.
All right, so August 15th. And then we'll do it to end the summer and kick off NFL season.
Got it. Okay.
We'll do it for like a week four of the preseason. No, we'll do it for the first NFL game.
On Thursday? The Thursday night. Yeah, all right.
We'll do it starting like Wednesday night, and we'll stay up all night, and then we'll watch the NFL game. Okay.
Yeah. All right, so August 15th, we need 500,000.
I don't think we'll get there. No.
I'm just going to say it. Like, I'll stay up all night and then we'll watch the nfl game okay yeah all right so august 15th we need 500 000 i don't think we'll get there no i'm just gonna say it like i'll straight up say it you guys aren't gonna do it it's free to subscribe but people won't do it all you gotta do is hit the subscribe button but we will do a stream and you don't have to turn on alerts i'll throw this in there we will fly chill chillin with chels to come to our studio and paint a shitload of stuff during the stream as well.
Alright, bonk. Which would be fuckin' awesome.
For a lot of reasons. Last one.
Hey Hank, PFT Cat and Sweet Jake. I don't get it.
When do you guys plan on covering the Division III NCAA Swimming Championship? More specifically, when do you plan to cover the ODAC conference? I'd be happy to come on the show and explain the dynamics of the conference.

Sounds like you get in the water, and then you go fast, and then the winner wins. So when do you plan on covering the NCAA Division III swimming championship?

Never.

We really need a new rival because handball is a bunch of fucking lame-os.

Handball's thirsty.

We made them relent, though.

They didn't even do anything.

So I'll just say it. Swimming's not a real sport.
Handball is not. Olympics coming up.
We can get that going. Swimming is not a real sport.
This is a good time for that. It's a really good hobby.
If you do it really fast, I'm not saying Michael Phelps isn't impressive. I'm saying swimming's not a sport.
Swimming was impressive when the Olympics were invented in the zero-zeros. You just swim from sharks.
It's not even a hobby. It's just a means of staying alive that you can be more efficient at.
A really good swimmer, all they do is just not drown for a prolonged period of time. Correct.
So not a sport. Maybe add sharks and we'll be cool with that.
I was actually saying that they should dye the pool different colors. That would be cool, too.
Like have a color rush pool. Like a bright orange, neon pink pool would be sick.
I'd be down for that down for that but yeah as of right now there should be a red zone in the pool where you can tell we're getting close swimming not a sport and i know what the response would be like you guys couldn't even swim the fucking jaguars pool yeah i could and two i'm not saying that like i could do it i'm just saying not a sport i'm just saying it's kind of fraudulent when you say the best Olympian of all time is Michael Phelps.

Right.

That dude hits the bong on the reg.

He just does laps and pools.

That's what my grandmother used to do to stay in shape.

Right.

He just jazzercises for an extended period of time.

Yeah.

When you go on a vacation, you swim.

Exactly.

That's what I do as a relaxing activity.

That's what I do to get less sore from playing real sports.

Yes. Yeah.
When I'm on my off day, I'm like, I need a low-impact exercise. This is so wild.
No, you're right. You're right.
It's easier on the joints after doing heavy lifting and Olympic lifting. I don't have on days, and I just said I swim on my off days.
No, you're right. I've got the rankings for the D3 women's and men's swimming.
Give it to us real quick. We don't know.
Let me guess. Men's or women's? Men's.
Wheaton. All right, men's.
The number one team out of the Central Region is Denison. Fake school.
Overrated. The West, Midwest, South Region, all one, is Emory.
Use steroids. Okay.
The number one seed in the Northeast North is MIT. Okay.
How are you going to lose to MIT? The number one seed in the Northeast South region is Carnegie Mellon. Isn't that in the city? Yeah, of course.
No, wait. Isn't that Pittsburgh? Carnegie Mellon is Pittsburgh.
I think it's just a bar. Yeah, Pittsburgh.
I got it mixed up with Carnegie Mellon. Way to go.
RIP. All right, 41.
I don't know why I know that. Why do I know that? That's pretty sick.
What is Carnegie Mellon doing? Well, because Carnegie was the steel guy.

That's right.

That's why.

So it's like Vanderbilt, Railroads, Tennessee.

Carnegie, Steel, Pittsburgh.

Rockefeller, Gates.

Eight.

Divorces.

99.

71.

71.

Give an animal fact check.

The orangutan is the only ape that inhabits Asia.

Love you guys. Whoa! Take me on I'll be gone And after your dream Needless to say I'm all dissented But I'll be stolen away Early learning that life is okay Say after me It's no better to be safe than sorry Say after me.
It's better to be safe than sorry.

Say after me.

It's better to be safe than sorry.

Take on me.

Take me on.

I'll be gone in a day of truth All the things that you say Is it life over Just to play my worries away You're all the things I've got to remember Be shying away I'll be coming for you anyway Be shying away I'll be coming for you anyway Take on me.

Take me on.

I'll be gone inner day Top reasons your dog wants you to move to Ohio.

Amazing dog parks to stretch your legs.

All four of them.

Dog-friendly patios.

Even gourmet hot dogs loaded with the good stuff.

Bon Appetit.

And Ohio has so many high-paying jobs, you'll be top dog in no time.

Jobs in technology, engineering, science, advanced manufacturing, and more. The career you want and a life you'll love.
Have it all in the heart of it all. Go to callohiohome.com.
At Sutter, keeping kids healthy never stops. From wobbly steps to twisted ankles, fevers at midnight to they're leaving the nest already.

We're here through every milestone.

And with over 400 pediatricians and family medicine doctors, getting care is easier than ever.

In person, online, and on your schedule.

A whole team on your team.

Sutter Health.

Learn more at sutterhealth.org slash kids.