Will Zalatoris, Actor Barry Pepper, A-Rod/JLo split up and Fyre Fest Of The Week

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On today's part of my take, we got a two for Friday and a little just free form.

We're going to chit chat.

We're going to have some fun with the fellas.

We have Barry Pepper on, who you probably know as the sniper from Saving Private Ryan.

He's actually been in a ton of other movies.

He also sat next to us in the Mayweather-McGregor fight.

One of those interviews where we did it, not really expecting much, and came out of it

being like, holy shit, that guy's really cool.

Couple audio issues, like once or twice, one of his answers, like one word gets cut out.

But awesome, awesome interview.

It also inspired me to watch Saving Private Ryan.

Yes.

I've never seen it before.

Really?

Great movie, right? What did you think?

Oh, you haven't done it yet?

I haven't done it yet.

I'm watching this weekend.

Okay.

He kills like a million people.

All right.

He is a badass.

And then we have Will Zalatoris on the show.

Part of our golf crew now.

Seamlessly fits in.

Really cool guy. We're going to talk about that.
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Hey! on the sun. Oh no.
We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue. And then we'll take it higher.
Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue. And then we'll take it higher.
Welcome to Part of My Take presented by Coors Light and Coors Seltzer. Go chill this weekend with a Coors Light or Coors Seltzer.
Today is Friday, April 16th. And love is dead.
Love is dead. Again? Again.
Part two. I feel like A-Rod is breaking up just for the clout these days.
Hey, listen. We don't break up shame.
I'm not laughing. But I just need a moment.
His Instagram story is just... I just need a moment.
So in this Instagram story, the way he's got it set up, it's pictures of J-Lo and her daughters lying down on baseballs. Pictures of A-Rod and J- the coup de gras the best part is he put like a box of kleenex down there to imply that he's been crying i hope that someday you feel even one i can't listen to this anymore one tenth of the love that a rod and j-lo felt j-rod america's favorite celebrity couple and love is dead well how lucky has J-Lo and A-Rod been J-Lo felt...
J-Rod, America's favorite celebrity couple, and love is dead.

Well, how lucky has J-Lo and A-Rod been

to have something that they cherish so much

that it hurts so badly when it's taken away?

Yeah, it's truly the test.

It is truly the test.

Would you rather never love or...

What is it?

It's better to have loved and lost

than to never have loved at all.

Yeah, there it is.

That's it. I just like to use this for inspiration.
Hey, Rod. He did have an Instagram story where he was playing this song as PFT was mentioning what was in it.
And it did remind me of Michael Scott not paying for the full song. Yes.
When he was just at his computer playing that on repeat. Well, in that scenario...
The fray, I think. Yeah.
I was like James Blunt or whatever. In that scenario, Jan was breaking up because she was sleeping with her assistant, Hunter, the younger assistant of the company.
Yes. Big Cat, would that make you...
A hunter? Yes. Have you and J-Lo had a...
Although every time I've met J-Lo, she's been utterly repulsed by me. Like, truly.
You know when you can actually physically see someone throw up a little bit in the back of their mouth? That's usually the look. And I don't blame her because she's J-Lo and I'm me.
But yes, I am sad. I think they'll remain friends.
And, you know, things just happen. Love is a hard game, guys.
Love is a tough game. I think we need to take A-Rod out for boys weekend.
I agree. Just tear it up.
Hit the tanning bed. Sheets.
Maybe get a makeover. Get a lift in.
MJ. Beer box some coconut water.
Yeah. All the A-Rod stuff.
Yeah, we'll fucking do it. I feel like his divorce party would be kind of like that scene in Zoolander where they all just get into a Jeep and start slamming Starbucks.
Whoa, they didn't get... They weren't married.
Gasoline fight. They weren't married, so it's not a divorce.
The engagement call-off party. Yeah, right.
Listen, he's a businessman. He's married to the Timberwolves now.
That's his first love. Listen, that is actually a great...
I'm not going to say consolation prize, but, you know, sometimes you break up and it's like, hey. Thank God we didn't buy the Mets.
Yeah, right. Exactly, Hank.
Good, good. Here's another one.
They didn't ever have to get to the point where they even had to have the conversation of whether or not to invite me to the wedding. Because clearly they would have had that conversation.
Definitely. And also, yeah, like sometimes you see a guy break up and he goes and buys a sports car.
Well, what's tired buying a sports car for your midlife crisis? Wired buying a fucking NBA franchise. BK, you've got insight into A-Rod's mentality a little bit.
I'd send him a text. Is he pretty much a writer for the New York Post? Or do they have to type out the stuff that he leaves at the voicemail? He does the voice notes.
Okay. Which, by the way, is a new trend.
Because he treats the New York Post like Derek Jeter treats the Players Tribune. Yes.
It's basically A-Rod's blog. It's his.
There's a trend. I don't know if this is just one of those things that just makes me feel utterly old, but I saw a couple people tweeting screenshots of their text messages and it's all just audio messages, which is a phone call.
That's fucking crazy. Like they just, sometimes it's, it's just, it's just, this is how we like, like, oh my God, this is how we text anyone else do this.
And I've seen a few people do this. It is just a string of audio messages sent back and forth.
That's a phone call. Every time I see that pop up on my phone from somebody, I just it's a mistake yeah like they accidentally hit it in their pocket and it's just the sound of like i don't know a gum wrapper rustling around i also like don't i i play it and then i can't hear it and then it it deletes automatically like it's fucking james bond or something cyber dust yeah um all right let's move on from from heartbreak because I don't know how much more breaking my heart can take.

We'll just play the song one more time.

Okay.

Hold on.

We'll just pick it up from there.

Let's get in our feels.

The other big story we had today.

Wait.

Wait.

I can't move on just yet.

I need to hear Coldplay one last time.

Okay.

Hold on.

Oh, fuck.

I got to reload it now.

Oh, no.

That was going to play. Hold on, let's listen

to this 15 second ad.

Oh, this is actually

kind of a good vibe.

The other story

we had today is, is

LaMarcus Aldridge a Hall of Famer?

Nah.

Hang on, hang on, let me just

be strong. Nah Hang on, hang on Let me just Be strong Fly high, little bird I'm going to say this right now People bash Coldplay I guarantee you Like, if you don't listen to Coldplay You're a loser You know what would be an all-time flex If J-Lo went out and if she bought the New York Mets?

If she invested in it. From Stevie? Yeah.
From Stevie C. Coldplay is one of those bands that just for everyone decided like, oh, we'll make fun of them because you know, yeah, they're they sit in the piano and they do the English accents, always raining and sad.
They have some songs that are like jams. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, they've got probably like six or... Yellow is an old timer.
Strawberry Swing is one of my favorite Coldplay songs. Oh, Bloody.
Yep. Viva La Vida.
Viva La Vida. Thank you.
That guy's voice is angelic. What's his name again? Chris Martin.
Chris Martin. No, no.
Their son with Gwyneth Paltrow is Apple. Gwyneth Paltrow is the vagina.
The vagina goop. Yes.
Yep. I didn't know that until right now.
How about that? How about Gwyneth Paltrow? Having a very good career as an actress, and then you just make a shitload of vagina goop, and then you're the vagina goop lady. She's selling various things that smell like her vagina.
Yeah. It's just like you didn't need the rebrand that you took.
What she did, somehow she's making good money not from horny guys. It's mostly from women that are like buying Gwyneth Paltrow's vagina candles.
Right. I'd buy one if I needed one.
I don't, but I would. You know who needs one? Don't say J-Lo.
A-Rod. Oh, okay.
We're respecting their privacy, okay? Alright, other stories. LaMarcus Aldridge did retire.
That was sad. I do feel bad for him.
Irregular heartbeat, which... How long did he have it for? Arrhythmia? He got it once he got to New York.
Okay. Yeah.
Well, I don't know. I guess he was just diagnosed with it, but it's probably pretty serious.
Yeah, that's a scary thing to have happen. And the goaltender, Hank, Henry Lundquist, he had to basically retire from that, too.
Oh, shit. I didn't even know.
We lost Henry Lundquist, Marcus Aldridge, and Prince Philipp all in one week? Yeah. Wasn't Lundquist on the Capitals at one point? Yeah, he still is.
I think technically a Capitals. His eyes are still gorgeous.
They're beautiful. His hair is fantastic, too.
Yep. All facts.
Bonk. And then Ronald Acuna is truly the face of baseball, just hitting.
We actually have, you know what the debate is that we had? You were correct that there was going to be a load management, but now we have a real debate. Ronald Acuna and Luka Doncic, are they both the faces of their respective sports? Are sports, are basketball and baseball in a great spot now because they have the next heir apparent? You know what they have? They both have a young crop of superstars ready to take over the league.
And so I think we kind of nailed the composition of the face, the ass, the quads of baseball. Tony La Russa should be the liver of baseball.
We missed that one big time. Mike Trout should be the chin and the neck of baseball.
Yep. Shout out Carlos Rodon for the no-hitter that should have been a perfect game, but he hit a batter with two outs.
I love whenever we get a perfect game or no-hitter, and then we get the rules of baseball because there was the slide into first base and everyone was like, that's Bush League. My opinion on no-hitters and perfect perfect games i think you should get to do anything to try to break it up but you also should get to like throw it at their head the next day yeah so if you if you pull some bush league stuff like a bunt uh to break up a no hitter i think that's fine because getting that win over the if you can't get a win in the game not being no hit is just as good as a win right that way you're not like immortalized right the team that got no hits.
So yes, I agree. Do anything that you can't get a win in the game, not being no hit is just as good as a win.
Right. That way you're not immortalized.
Right. The team that got no hit.
So, yes, I agree. Do anything that you can.
If you're down 11 runs, it doesn't matter. Right.
And if it's quote-unquote Bush League, I'm not going to complain about it. I just expect there to be some retribution the next day.
Yeah, I love Bush League. Right.
Bush League is some of my favorite parts of baseball when people do shit that's outside the unwritten rules. Yep, absolutely.
Love that stuff. Also, we had an article come out in Sports Illustrated yesterday.
I thought it was fake when Billy sent us the quote card from it. Yeah, so we have Daniel Jeremiah coming up next week.
Awesome interview with him on the draft stuff. So we actually read this during the interview.
Go ahead, read it again. Well, it was basically Trevor Lawrence.
It was two quotes. One from his high school coach saying that he doesn't need to win.
And then his dad being like, yeah, I'm not so sure he can just walk away tomorrow. And so I thought they were fake quotes because they looked like, and this is like the new thing that you see.
We saw with Kevin Durant and Shannon Sharp. You can just put whatever you want on a quote board and people like, oh shit, he said it.
In this one, it was just a picture of Trevor Lawrence with those quotes. I thought it was made up, but now people are actually having to debate, does Trevor Lawrence love football enough? Your thoughts, Billy? Either one, he's trying to tank his draft stock to not go to one of the top teams with picks.
Two, he actually doesn't like football, which means that he's never fought to keep playing football. And he's going to get to a point in the NFL for the first time in his life where he's never had to play hard.
Fight or flight? To keep playing football. He's going to flight.
So for example, in high school, you play hard because you love football and you want to play at the next level. He was assumed he was going to play at the next level in high school.
He went to college. It was assumed in college he was going to play at the NFL.
So he never has had to play to keep playing football and that's like huge in the NFL because you know. Because you want to play football.
Exactly. Got it.
But if he doesn't actually like playing football. Someone on that roster wants it more.
Maybe Gardner Minshew. Do you think that Trevor Lawrence would break his own hand with a hammer so that he could get one extra year of football? No.
I don't think that he would. But he also might be way better at football.
That's the thing. But he also may get to the league and realize that he can be one and done like after this year.
They could just replace him. That would be hilarious if Trevor Lawrence was one.
He's never been an expendable player in his life. Right.
He's probably not an expendable player now either when he goes number one. I don't fully follow, though, Billy.
Tom Brady. He had backups at Clemson.
He had to play well. They were never going to replace him.
I mean, he doesn't have a five-star backup behind him right now. If he didn't play well, they would have replaced him.
In fact. Those types of guys.
You don't get it, Hank. He was never in a situation to fail.
Hank, now his job is to play football. Isn't being the quarterback, if you throw passes and they get intercepted, that would be considered failing.
Has he thrown interceptions? Never. Once.
No, not a lot. No, he has.
What are you talking about? Yes, he has thrown an interception. No, but I'm saying, no, I'm saying like Billy's like, he was like, if he throws an interception, that's failing.
If he has bad passes, that's failing. There's a second there where you're like, Trevor Lawrence actually has never thrown an interception.
I might be wrong. He's lost.
He's never been in a situation where he's not one of the best players on the field. Listen, Billy, I'm all for this.
I'm all for you trying to find reasons why Trevor Lawrence shouldn't be the number one pick because that's interesting. I would actually say it'd be more logical to be like, his hair is too long.
Think about it that way. I don't get the whole Jesus complex thing.
When was the last time a long-haired quarterback won a Super Bowl? I can't think of one. Actually, also, didn't Brady, when they lost, he had his hair longest.
Yeah, absolutely. Plus, it makes it easier for defenders to sack you if you've got the long hair flowing back there.
Did Brees have kind of long hair when he won? No. No.
He did have it at one point. Every quarterback has tried the long hair.
Yeah, Justin Herbert got better after he cut his hair. Rodgers definitely won with the...
Brees had pretty long hair. No, Rodgers had long hair when he won.
That's shorter than your hair right now. Rodgers had long hair when he won.
No, it's not. This? I don't think a Super Bowl quarterback has ever had hair that touches their shoulders before.
I'm pretty sure Rodgers had long hair when he won. For a quarterback.
Not that long. Maybe not.
Okay. He grew out after.
Yeah, you're right. Everyone grows out after.
Let's get on that. Let's get that ball rolling a little bit because you can say things like he should spend more time trying to connect with his split ends than cut them off.
He should spend more time in the film room than the barber's chair. Things like that.
I think he loves his hair more than football. There you go.
Actually, yeah, I'm looking at it right now. Rodgers had long hair right before he won the Super Bowl, so there it is.
Interesting. Interesting.
Also, let's just come up with some fake quotes from Trevor Lawrence that makes it look like he's a big red flag walking around. And then we'll create a fake podcast and then put the quote cards out from that podcast.
Things like,vor lawrence i have mono yeah trevor lawrence if i if i get mono i will probably retire yep trevor lawrence i've never even arnold's tougher than me i've never had a friend attend any birthday party i've ever had i became a jehovah's witness just so i could stop having birthday parties by myself there it is uh Wait, hold on. Because this is one of those things that drives me insane.
When we say something and then tomorrow someone will be like, how could you forget this guy? No, I don't think we're forgetting anybody. I legit don't think any long-haired quarterback has ever wanted to solve it.
Well, what's crazy is all these quarterbacks have had long hair, but not when they – like Nick Foles has had long hair, but not when they won. McMahon? No.
No? I mean, you could say Joe Namath, but that was just long hair at the time, which covered his ears. And they're like, look at this fucking hippie.
Yeah. Charlie Whitehurst is probably the best long-haired quarterback to ever play in the NFL.
Yeah, McMahon wasn't even close. I mean, he had a hairstyle that was memorable, but you wouldn't say that's a long-haired quarterback.
Damn, this is going to drop. Oh, wait, wait, wait.
They're all fictional. All the good quarterbacks.
Remember the Titans, Sunshine, that type of hair. There's Falco.
Shane Falco had long hair. I think I have one.
I think I have one. Ronnie Bass.

I think Ben's hair was long.

No way.

No way.

Dude, he has done the long hair, though.

It's never been down to his shoulders.

Well, I mean, that's... I'm talking about just clearly grown out.

What about Joe Montana?

I think Ben had long hair.

I really do.

I don't think it was anywhere close to Trevor Lawrence's neighborhood. You think Ben Roethlisberger would remember to wash his hair every day? Look at that face.
Look at that fat fucking face. What a legend.
What an absolute legend. We also had Clowney.
The Browns signed Clowney. Yeah, the Browns are now officially, if I had to pick a Super Bowl winner today, it would be the Browns just because they have three number one overall picks in the last five years is that right no uh was it no in a five-year span was the was the thing it was miles garrett baker mayfield and clowny yeah so in a five-year span three number one overall picks that right there just tells me from my own draft analysis that's the greatest team that's ever been created.
Clown Davion Clowney. Yeah.
So in my opinion, because I know Stephen Che thinks that he stinks right now, I think that Davion Clowney kind of sucks more than he stinks. I think sucks is better than stinking.
So if a guy sucks, he can still be pretty good, but he's not living up to the expectations that come along with his name.

Right.

It's not like he shouldn't be on the field. If you stink, you shouldn't be on the field.
Then if you're trash, you shouldn't be in the league. The problem is he's kind of sucked for a little bit, so it might be just who he is now.
He sucked his way into stinking? Right. I know this is kind of a ridiculous thing to say, but I really truly believe it.
How many millions of dollars do you think Jadavion Clowney has gained in his life, in his career, from that one hit against Michigan? There has to be a number. 60% of his career earnings.
Every time you think of him, you think of that hit, and you're like, well, he's a beast. And he obviously was very good for a while, but he hasn't been that level for a year or two.
Every now and again, you come across a highlight that is, when you see it, you're like, that is football. And that was just a football player.
He hit the dude in the back. Everything happened perfectly on that.
He went straight through the middle, hit the guy, knocked his helmet off, the ball came out, and then he palmed the football on the ground and picked it up like it all happened perfectly in succession where you're like that is the perfect football highlight i thought that was going to be john bostic after his teddy bridgewater hit and the bears drafted him when he knocked the shit out of him and the gators ended up losing that game so that was a whole different story but yeah there's that that a one huge hit that's basically our draft uh like if you hired us as as of a scouting team, hey, listen, just try to get one huge play that everyone remembers forever, and you will be good. And likewise, it can be true in the opposite direction.
Like if you're that linebacker from Ohio State who got burned in the natty. Yeah.
That was bad. What's that guy's name? Tough Borland.
Tough Borland. Where he looked like his legs were two different sizes when he was starting to chase him down.
Yeah, he tried two different gates while he was running. The other weird story we had was, I don't know if this has been debunked.
I've seen conflicting reports, but the original report was that Sam Darnold was offered, the 49ers offered the 12th pick in the draft to the Jets for Sam Darnold, and the Jets said no because they didn't know if Zach Wilson's shoulder was going to work out. They had issues about that, so they were thinking about maybe keeping Sam Darnold and not trading him.
Now everyone obviously is running with the story that the Jets are idiots because they didn't trade for the 12th pick and all this stuff that would have had the third and the 12th. The second and the 12th.
I actually am going to side with the Jets here simply because Kyle Shanahan is that type of coach that if he got Sam Darnold, Sam Darnold would be a pro bowler. Yeah, so it would make them look bad.
It would make you look bad. He's the one guy I wouldn't want to trade my quarterback to just knowing that he's going to end up looking good and everyone would be like, oh, the Jets suck even more.
Yeah, it's that. And also, I could see the Jets front office being like, you know what, I'd be more scared of facing off against the 49ers in the Super Bowl than the Panthers.
Right. So I don't want to have to go back up against Sam Darnold.
Right. But I really do think that Kyle Shanahan's of that level with quarterbacks where I wouldn't want to trade my first pick, you know, my first round pick to him, knowing that he...
Like, if Mitch Trubisky got traded to the 49ers... You'd be like, fuck here.
I'd be like, this is going to suck. Because he's going to make him awesome, and everyone's going to laugh at me more.
He's the next boyfriend on Instagram. Like, if J-Lo starts dating Kyle Shanahan on Instagram next...
Come on. We're over that.
It'd be tough. over that be tough come on be tough let's play the song again come on it's just it hurts it hurts it's okay to i think in 2021 as guys as dudes it's okay to say when you're hurt it's a famous once said, it's okay to not be okay.
You know what? Where does Alex's Instagram go from here? Sky's the limit. Booties? Perfect booties? Start selling vagina scented candles? A-Rod should start selling A-Rod penis scented candles.
I'd buy it. Put one in this.
Put one in here and just alpha.

Smells like Old Spice.

Yeah.

I mean, the girl that kind of is rumored to have broken.

Jay Cutler and Ada.

No, that's not.

Hey, come on.

Tell me.

No.

No.

Pretty much.

Hank, you know, you know that this is just, you know, sometimes, sometimes things happen.

Okay.

No, nothing more than that. What are you going to say, Billy? Did Jose predict the future? No, no, all right.
I'm going to need a few more seconds of this song after that comment. It's going right back into it.
Billy, do you regret beating Jose up so badly when it turns out hashtag Jose was right? It's like, what the fuck? No, Jose is a scumbag. Billy, oh, I'm really glad that Jose didn't kill you because that would have been tough to get murdered by Jose.
And then have him be right. And then have him be absolutely correct about everything after.
That would have sucked. For the record, I still don't like Jose Conseco.
He's still a rat. Correct.
He claims to be a time traveler.

He claims a lot of things. So he probably went into the future,

Cy would have beat his ass and been like,

get out there as soon as I can.

You should build a time machine and go back and work out.

That's what he should do.

Yeah.

Maybe not have your shoulder.

Maybe don't look at the pay-per-view numbers

before you go in the ring so you don't take a dive.

Yeah.

Yeah, if he had a time machine,

I don't think he ever would have agreed to fight our intern and lose if he could see that. I think he saw how much money he ended up making.
Yeah, he probably... That's the part.
How much of that paycheck do you think Jose Canseco still has in his bank account right now? He doesn't believe in the stock market and assets. He sounds like a dude you would get along with.
I know. I kind of want to go ahead and go.
Yeah, like everything you say is something you would – like you saying, oh, yeah, Jose thinks he's a time traveler. Like you're to judge.
You definitely – I don't think I'm a time traveler. No, but you would be down with the time traveler.
Oh, I'd be so down. Right, right.
But go in the future, not the past. Got it.
Butterfly fact. People don't do that often.
When they time travel, they always think about going in the past. I'd go to the future.
Yeah, no, dude. Butterfly effect.
Can you affect the past by going into the future? I would. What if you go into the future and build a better time machine where people can go further back into the past? Oh.
Then, yes. Think about that.
I would go into the future like three to four months from now when A-Rod and J-Lo get back together. I hope they keep doing this for the entire offseason.
Be cool with me. Be a great way to get us back into football.
Yeah. I like how he's saying it.
Everything goes by the football. Yeah, because J-Lo and A-Rod have so much to do with football.
They're on the football. The Mayans had their calendar.
We have our football calendar. All calendar um all right let's get to our interviews we got two awesome interviews so Barry Pepper which was one of those interviews we I'll fully admit we took it because we sat next to him and McGregor Mayweather in front of him in front of him no no yeah we get that wrong in the interview yeah and we thought that would be funny to have him on, and then he turned out to be one of the most fascinating guys we've talked to.

I would love to have him in the studio to have that conversation.

Yeah, so there's a couple of moments where a word or two cuts out just from technology.

It sucks.

Sorry, just a heads up, but we got the gist of it, and he's an awesome interview.

And then we're going to have Will Zalatoris, who is now part of our golf crew.

Before we do all that, our friends at...

When your home system or appliance breaks down, American Home Shield will help fix or replace the covered item, no matter its age. Visit AHS.com slash listen for 20% off any plan.
See AHS.com slash contracts for coverage details, limitations, and exclusions. Okay, here he is, Barry Pepper.
Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest.

It is actor Barry Pepper.

He's got a new movie that is out April 16th.

It's called Trigger Point.

It's in theaters and on demand.

It's going to be an awesome movie.

I'm very, very excited for it.

So, Barry, thank you for joining us.

I just alluded to it before we started.

When we saw your name come across our list of potential guests we're like we have to have barry pepper on because you don't realize this but we sat next to you uh for the may mayweather mcgregor fight and we were very drunk and uh i think we asked you for a picture and i think we also harassed you like, you're the dude who killed the Nazis. So we just want to see, do you remember us? Check this out.
Check this out. Oh, shit.
He's in a picture of us. Frame.
Oh, there it is. The stub.
Got it right there. It's right there.
So you guys must have been seat seven or eight because I was five and six. Yeah.
If you don't recognize this, maybe. Do you recognize me? Do you recognize this? I mean, it was a wild.
Yeah. We were right in front of you, actually.
No, we were behind. I have the picture.
Oh, we were? We were behind you, right behind you. I just tried to roast you by saying we had better seats and it was an all-time backfire yeah i congratulations i found the tweet i found the tweet too i said at uh 11 09 p.m on august 26th i said sitting next to the sniper dude from savor private ryan yeah we're big time now also what's his name so uh hey you know i i do the um i do the uh whatever you call it the narration for showtime for those fights so that's that's how i was there oh shit so we did have good seats i guess so yeah oh man yeah nice to see you yeah good to see you again great to see you so um that that's what i recognize you from because saving private ryan was one of my favorite movies one of the best war movies of all time it's anytime you hear people talk about it i know big cat went over to normandy i went over to normandy also a couple years ago everybody over there always talks about saving private ryan as being the most true to what actually happened of uh any of the other war movies and i'm just curious do people come up to you and they like recognize you from that movie and do they do they thank you for your service ever do they ever think you're actually from the military um yeah it's interesting because i've done three uh three pretty prominent war films one with clint eastwood called plagues of our fathers and then another one with mel gibson called we were And so, yeah, people recognize you in the service community.

And no, they don't assume that you're a service member,

but there's a lot of respect that comes with it both ways.

So, you know, you do a lot of events, a lot of charity events,

and you kind of immerse yourself in that community,

not only through your research for the film,

but then they welcome you into these events. yeah, it's a pretty, it's pretty cool.
So, you know, you really feel like you got a huge responsibility to try to get it right because you you're dealing with a lot of people's memories and their losses and, and their wounds. And so it's, it's not, you know, it's not something that you can just kind of, you know, it a fast and furious movie you know what i mean like you just you have to you know take it take it quite seriously you'll be sitting you'll be sitting at dinner with some young woman with with a prosthetic a full prosthetic arm and it's just it's such a yeah it's a trip you know yeah so you really want to you want to make sure that you do it how did you end up in Normandy? So I went there on vacation, went over to Paris for a day, then took a two-day trip to Normandy and then left town.
But I always wanted to see that coast because – For that perfect? Yeah, for that person. My great uncle was – I think he was on Omaha, actually.
He got shot in his hip. But, you know, he never wanted to talk about it when he got my great uncle, never wanted to discuss it after he came back.
And so I never really got to talk to him that much about it, but it was, it was fascinating to be there and to see where all that happened. Yeah.
And that was sort of one of the highest honors was people said, you know, it kind of spoke for them, sort of like people like your uncle, they didn't have to really articulate it. They could just sort of say to their nephew or their wife and, you know, yeah, that's sort of, this is sort of why I couldn't talk about it.
It's like, it's a lot like that. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
And I mean, your, your character, obviously in Saving Private Ryan, all time character and actually the, the, it's such a great character that I think that, uh, at least personally, whenever I see you in a new movie, I'm like, I gotta see it because I loved him so much in Saving Private Ryan, including your new movie Trigger Point. So, one last question about Saving Private Ryan.
You probably get annoyed about it. It's been so long.
No, not at all. How cool is Vin Diesel? Yeah, he was a great guy.
You know, it's interesting. When I first met him on Saving Private Ryan, we ended up doing another film after that called Knock Around Guys.
But when I first met him, he was a director. And he was living in New York, you know, just sort of scratching his money together to make these independent films.
And that really was the path he was on. So it's great that he's had success with his Fast and the Furious franchise, but I would love to see him direct, you know, because he's a really intelligent filmmaker.
But, you know, he's played that character of Dom for so long. You think of him that way, but that was really the origin of his career.
Yeah, he's got a pretty good gig going, though. Yes.
Like, you cash in serious checks in that franchise. Yes.

The corona money.

He's not sitting with us at the Mayweather-McGregor fight.

He's sitting all the way down ringside.

That's because he's also a little shorter.

He's like my height.

People don't know.

So, I was reading up about your career.

I mean, this is just crazy.

You spent some of your childhood on a boat traveling the South Pacific Islands. Is that right? Yeah, in the 70s, my parents built a 50-foot sailboat in their backyard from scratch, you know, a fiberglass sloop 50 feet long, and then they launched it.
So I was about five years old, 75, I guess we launched and moved on board. And then we spent the next five years cruising it.

And a few of those years through the South Pacific islands. And then later in my twenties, actually before I did Private Ryan, my dad and I, we just, the two of us again, offshore, you know, the Hawaii and Alaska.
and then he carried on through Southeast Asia and I would just sort of fly

you know whenever I could between films and see him and whether he was in Thailand or Malaysia

or whatever and yeah so he's definitely a seafarer but it was interesting way to grow up you know

because he did he navigated us halfway around the world with just a sextant you know celestial

navigation the same way Columbus navigated like no GPS no electronics it was just a miracle

I'm going to go. halfway around the world with just a sextant you know celestial navigation the same way columbus navigated like no gps no electronics it was it's just a miracle we survived holy shit what did you

guys what did you guys do all day yeah you're underrating this by the way yeah you're like very

you know and i think somebody asked me that about like how did i get into this

i mean and i think it was those formative years, you know, like no, all imagination games. We didn't have TV.
We didn't really have radio, you know, a little bit of classic rock or whatever. But, you know, it was all imagination games, you know, because you're on this 50 foot by 14 foot wide sailboat.
Sometimes, you know, crossing between nations would be three weeks at sea without seeing horizon you know just and then you'd get smoked by some big white squall and everything would get wiped off the deck of the boat and everybody'd be crying and freaking out and and um yeah it's some pretty wild times at sea and and so you know you kind of live in your imagination as a child. I was just

five through 10 years old. And then my two older brothers really heightened my, my, my, my imagination skills.
Seriously. So wait, what happened when you came back when you were like 10, did you just go to school and you're like, Hey, I've just been out at sea for the last five years.
What's up guys? I'm Barry.

Yeah.

Well, we've been homeschooled for all those years too.

And, um, which was pretty cool. You get your homework done, and then you just dive off the boat and go scuba diving or spearfishing.
Not scuba, but snorkeling or spearfishing or go climb a coconut tree. It was kind of like, yeah, a little bit of like a Swiss family Robinson upbringinginson upbringing because of course we're in the tropics and we weren't a well-off family so we didn't go to the you know the expensive fancy ports and yacht island groups kind of like the places where they shot survivor that that was sort of um where we ended up on the small atolls and islands where the local people lived and and you could kind of just live on a dime.
Wow. So going to school on a boat that size, is it difficult to write on a boat? Well, you know, we would eventually get to harbor and eat anchor, and you'd be in a protected, you know, atoll or somewhere.
Yeah, so it would be calm. But at sea, yeah, it was just very, very difficult because you'd be like this.

Sailing, you know, you're sailing from, say, Hawaii to the Marquesas or Fiji or Tonga or New Zealand or wherever you might be sailing. And sometimes those crossings, like I say, would be.
So you go, you know, you go a little bit stir crazy. Yeah, so then you come back to land, and then I would imagine it might be difficult to make friends after having that have been such a formative experience in your life.
But I did read that you were a really good athlete in high school. I'm wondering if that kind of helped you bridge the gap and kind of introduce you to people.
Yeah, my dad and my, actually my eldest brother and I, we all played on the same baseball team growing up. So that was pretty cool.
You know, it was always sort of a family thing. We were always doing sports together.
So yeah, my dad was a lumberjack. He was a faller.
He like fell trees for a living up on the Pacific Northwest. So I guess he kind of passed on that to us to not let anybody mess with us.
And so, yeah, it was always sports and boxing or whatever. And no, we didn't have any trouble integrating, but it was more just that lack of freedom or that loss of freedom, right? Like I say, finish your schoolwork and then just go and cruise up through the jungle or dive into the ocean and play all day in the tropics.
Yeah, it says that you played fastball on your Wikipedia page. I didn't know if that was like a Canadian term for baseball or if that was accurate.
Yeah. Yeah.
In Canada, it's called baseball. But, yeah, it's usually like a beer league, a men's beer league, you know, would be like a fast pitch.
No? Got it. Like fast pitch.
Yeah. Yeah, fast pitch.
Yeah fast pitch. We played a lot of that growing up because there wasn't a lot of baseball and there wasn't a lot of football.
In Canada, growing up in Canada, it was mostly rugby and fast pitch until you graduated into a higher level. My brother played AAA but, yeah, we were in real small towns, so it was like rugby was popular because, you know, all you needed was a mouth guard.
Yeah. You didn't have to buy all the expensive gear.
You're the Canadian Dos Equis guy. I mean, you just dropped that your brother played AAA ball.
Like, that's not nothing. AAA ball is, like, right there.
It's pretty damn hard to play triple-A ball. It was because of him.
In fact, this is my 40-year-old Yankees cap that I inherited from him when I was 10 years old. And so I became a Yankees fan because he was a Yankees fan.
And then I ended up doing a film with Billy Crystal called 61 years later where I was from Roger Maris. So that was kind of a neat evolution, you know, growing up idolizing my older brother who was this Yankees fan and then getting to play Roger.
That was kind of cool. Yeah, that was a great movie.
What's your favorite role that you've played or the role that you like if someone said to you uh at the end of your career you know you want to be remembered for this role or that role is there a specific one that that that stick out sticks out to you yes it's interesting because i'm a character actor right and i'm a journeyman actor i'm not a list you know i i get a lot of supporting a lot of good supporting characters so it's been really diverse you know like i really enjoyed playing lucky ned pepper and true grit and uh if i could you know do a western series i'd love to do a western series um you know you can't play jackson forever you can't be the sniper and that's what ended up happening after statement by ryan is you kind of get slotted into, you know, everybody wants you to play the psychopath, you know,

the next sniper, the next, you know, that guy.

And so I was trying to, you know, find diversity and ended up really, yeah,

you know, being able to slip into these different character roles.

For me, that's what's been really cool is that I can disappear into those roles because I'm not overexposed as an actor. People go like, I didn't even know you were in that.
And that's kind of a compliment. So it's challenging for me, like to say, was playing Robert Kennedy, you know, better than playing Lucky Ned Pepper.
I mean, it's just so different. Right.
And I think that's kind of the fun of being a character actor but so sorry i really be hard to choose like yeah no that's an interesting answer though because it's a lot of times someone who has a career where they've done a bunch of different things and and been like you know maybe not the lead role in all these movies they might say like oh i should have had more leads like but it's interesting to have that perspective of like people don't even realize i'm in something which is almost a compliment because that means you did such a great job at it yeah like i mean i'm certainly not making the bank that vin you know vin is making and in the in the fast and the furious type series and that's that's an awesome franchise that he's built um but it's just a different career path you know he's he's done he's done really well with that. And, but I, I really kind of enjoy the diversity of the different roles I get.
And I also like to live really rural. I, you know, I live in the country, I'm a dual citizen, but I have a home in Canada.
And I like to spend a fair bit of time up here, I hunt and fish and have a big garden and an orchard. And we kind of live rural know and so you can it's kind of tricky to have one foot in and one foot out and um in terms of a career then you know you're gonna there's a flip side to that right yeah get your and you get your anonymity and your freedom and you get to live the life the way you want and you get to raise your kids but you're also not going to get the best roles you know so you gotta you gotta you know find your balance with it it sounds like a great balance though it sounds like what you have right now is what a lot of people are chasing when they go after the big roles when they want to be you know the a-list guy they just want happiness and like a little bit of peace and financial security it sounds like that's what you've got which is awesome for you you you mentioned you brought up the term character actor and i wanted to ask you about that because um well just kind of talk to me like we're i don't know four or five years old and maybe you can explain a little bit better what is the difference between being a character actor and just being a really good actor like in other words why don't they give uh like lead roles to the character guy yeah i don't i don't know i mean i think part of it is your personality too right if you're if you're happy to do all the talk shows and you're really willing to be a celebrity and show your personality and always sort of be uh available then people get to know you you as sort of, you know, their friend and neighbor.
But it's challenging for us as viewers to escape with them. You're like, oh, that's so-and-so, but he's just wearing a mustache because he's a celebrity.
And it's really hard for them not to break the fourth wall. Anonymit your to your life you can disappear because people like what's that guy's name again and and oh oh he played he played that and and you know it's just it's like somebody i really respect is harrison ford but he's not a character actor he always plays harrison ford or tom cruise he always plays tom cruise whereas tom Hanks has that sort of ability to chameleonize a bit but he's become tom hanks so much to the point where it's really challenging for him now because you know he can't escape like he used to right into the you know we still love him and we still you know watch every movie he's in but it's yeah It's like you're not really asking Harrison Ford to do anything other than be Harrison Ford in every I guess that I don't know if that's a convoluted way of explaining it but it's actually a great answer I never thought of it you're really overexposed if you're really overexposed then it's really challenging to disappear and so it's a fine it's a fine line yeah that's fascinating I hadn't thought of it from the perspective of somebody doing all the publicity and then connecting with someone people outside of their movies making it kind of like a challenge to do that and i'm not trying to bullshit you guys like i mean there's there's obviously a certain freedom financial freedom and life that comes with being a celebrity and um and it's not it's not it's just that there's a trade-off you know like um would i be disappointed if i was i was doing a big franchise that exploded and you know well that would be nice financial freedom but you certainly trade your anonymity and your freedom instantly uh so it is what it is you know what i i don't know that i really tried to design it at all other than the fact that i wanted to just live where i live and do what i do and and not chase it very hard and if good roles come my way then great yeah yeah i mean it's a fascinating career and i think you you do have an unbelievable perspective i would imagine this is why you're also just not on social media too which that has to be i i would i would guess that growing up on a boat and then having the career you have you probably think the internet is pretty foolish which i agree with you but i'm i'm addicted to it i know you know i think i'm just not very disciplined i think it's such a dumpster fire would suck me right then i'd be then i'd be x you know and i just know i think i'm just not very disciplined i think it's such a dumpster fire would suck me right

then i'd be then i'd be x you know and i just know i just know myself i got to get too political things would upset me and i would say stupid shit and so yeah i think it's just better and too i you know i'm 51 so i grew up without all of that and so it's it's it's actually challenging for me to feed it.

I'm not good at...

I would just...

Like the managers and the agents,

I would just like the, the managers and the agents and whatever they tell you, well, you have to, you have to tend to this garden, you know, like you gotta, you gotta feed that thing. And I just like, I'm never going to do that.
I, I'll be out working on my motorcycles or hunting or fishing or whatever like just living a life i don't really

want to be like here's me living a life you know i'm i'm gonna say it right now i think you might have the best perspective of any guests we've ever had on this show you're you're just a cool guy i think you're very chill yeah chill barry yeah and barry yeah barry's a great name and we've met And we've met before.

Right, exactly.

We hung out, sort of, at the Mayweather.

Were you – for that? As drunk as us? We were pretty drunk. I can't remember, honestly.
I try not to at those events because, like I say, I was kind of like, I worked at event. Right.
So Showtime just hands me some tickets. I didn't choose those seats.
But so i i usually go to the i gotta do press beforehand then i gotta go to these parties and shit and and talk you know to all the producers and so i i generally try but yeah i might have had a few tipples all right we have we drank more than enough for you that night we don't even remember the fight we were so drunk we thought uh we thought mcgregor had a real shot at winning we walked out being like i think he almost won that fight yeah you know but what's interesting though it's like what i was trying to what i was arguing as i was in there it's like this is boxing man it what i what i always feel like and i love i love mma i love ufc i'm actually i'm embarrassed to say I'm kind of curious about this Askren fight.

I just hope that he kicks,

you know,

that,

that kid's ass,

but,

but I,

I,

I always feel like,

well,

they,

you know,

Mayweather or,

or Jake Paul or whatever his name is should really honor their sport too.

They,

they,

they talk such a big game,

but they would never go into the octagon. Right.
And to me for that for that Mayweather McGregor fight I kind of felt like well this is sort of a fight it's not really um in in McGregor's domain he would have absolutely torn a Mayweather apart right and so it's kind of interesting I I just sort of I guess that's why I put much more credence and respect to what mcgregor did than what mayweather did agreed agreed yeah it was the show too you know it was a spectacle yes i think everybody went into it rooting for a lot of people were rooting for an upset and also just the song that conor mcgregor had that his fans were saying that's what made us actually it's more it was half that we were drunk and then half that we wanted to just be able to sing that song in the event that he won that made us put money on McGregor. But, yeah, it was a fun fight.
Had a great time at it. It was such a gladiatorial feel when that Sonate O'Connor pipes, the pipes start.
That was just amazing. Yeah.
I noticed that you brought out the New York Yankees hat earlier. You're a Yankees fan.
And you played Roger Maris. Do you think that Roger Maris is the home run king still? I do.
You know, it's funny. Billy Crystal and Thomas Jane and I, we just did this sort of Zoom reunion for some show recently because it was 20 year 20 year anniversary and i was kind of saying that that asterisk to me sort of represents you know the real deal right you know what what it originally was intended for um but yeah in a way it's sort of that asterisk represents like the real home run king in my estimation mean, I think it's widely understood now.
In fact, McGuire called Roger Maris's widow, Pat, who is still alive, living in Fargo. No, sorry, she lives in Florida.
But anyway, he called her and apologized to her for the shame that he brought to that record and breaking roger's record and it being so well known that he was juiced the whole time and and it really wasn't a genuine record and i thought that was quite honorable of him actually he broke down in tears apparently on the phone call for him to declare that to her but the whole family was quite impressed that he would make that phone call yeah so to me you know whatever i don't care i mean it is what it is you know i don't know how you would ever separate it all i mean there's so many different eras of big eras of baseball where the ball's been juiced the bats that you know and and things change like look at roger and mickey they were smoking and drinking in the dugout you know making 36 000 a year back then it's crazy so it's so different and they didn't even really work out they were just farm boys you know they would they'd be working on the farm in the off season and then go play baseball because they you know they didn't make enough make enough money to raise their families on that. Yeah, it's crazy.
We've had George Brett on the show a couple times, and he's admitted he didn't really work out in the offseason. He would go for runs and stuff, but the actual weight training and all this stuff, it didn't really exist in his career, and it's just incredible to about how how incredible athletically these guys were with like not having it be their full full-time job where you see athletes now and all they do is train and they have nutritionists and everything so yeah I agree with you Roger Maris like the asterisk it's almost been reversed now he gets the asterisk on everyone else and and that's the real home run king yeah

you wonder you know how uh maybe a muhammad ali would fare against uh tyson fury or whoever like it's so interesting to take those eras and and and it's almost like a moot conversation yeah yeah but uh it's kind of cool what about barry bonds though is the best baseball player is there Is there any Barry to Barry mutual respect?

Yeah.

I. cool.
What about Barry Bonds, though? Barry Bonds is the best baseball player of all time. Is there any Barry to Barry mutual respect there? I don't know anything about him, man.
No. All right.
Maybe you'll get the Barry Bonds movie. That would be the 73 asterisks.
You could be Jeff Kent. Yeah, you could be Jeff Kent.
That would be great. I'd probably have, gain a few inches.
Well, Barry, this has been awesome, man. We really appreciate it.
Yeah, everyone go watch Trigger Point. I'm going to watch it.
It's out April 16th on demand and in theaters. And next time, if you're ever in New York City, we'd love to do it in person because we hate.
Yeah, me too. The Zoom stuff sucks at some point.
It's just frustrating because you're an interesting dude. Right on.
You guys too. Thank you so much and really nice to see you again.
Yes. All the best.
Take care. We love it.
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And no matter the city, no matter the team, no matter the game, whether it's face-off or penalty shots, regular season or playoffs, win or lose, no matter what happens, no matter where it happens, Newsterdam vodka is there and now here he is will zalatoris and now for something completely different okay we now welcome on a very special guest it is will zalatoris you saw him in augusta finished second and we just we just met on Zoom, and I said you beat the odds. And what I mean by that is you lost me money on Sunday, but I still wanted you on because I was riding the Z train all weekend, and it was a fucking thrilling ride.
So congrats on that. Usually if someone loses us a bet, we, like, swear them off forever, but you you survived that i've had like 150 venmo requests for like way to lose by one asshole or something like that it's it's been so it's been so funny i've been laughing because i've seen like 110 or something like that i'm like unbelievable well you can afford it now yeah has the direct the direct deposit hit yet? I got to be honest.
I have not looked. That's insane.
I would just be refreshing over and over again. Yeah.
Yeah. I'm actually really surprised I've made it this far.
But, yeah. Look right now.
You want me to look? Yes. Absolutely.
Look right now. Hell yeah.
All right. All right.
I'll look for you when we had uh max on homa he he was he it was right after his hit for his win yeah and he was pretty pretty pumped about it just lighting hundred dollar bills on fire not not yet oh shit okay that's okay that's okay that's okay we can recover from this i like that mentality though yeah that's that's good i like the fact you're like ah fuck it it'll be in there when it's in there you're hungry they're good for it yes yes yeah yes they are um so so we uh i was reading up about it you finished second in the masters you won 1.2 million dollars1.2 million. You're now an established, I think, top 30 or something, and yet you still don't have your PGA card? How the hell does that work? Yeah, I mean, it's weird, but it is what it is.
I can't get frustrated about it because it's not like they're going to change it. But, you know, I have to win to get in the FedEx Cup playoffs.
But I've already got my card locked up for next year. And I'm already in, I'm into the majors for the next, I guess, until the Masters of next year.
So in a weird way, I'm kind of playing with house money. Like every week finishing second means as much as finishing 20th.
I mean, granted, there's a little bit of a prize money difference, but like, it doesn't change. Like I have to go out and win.
And you know, the reality is like those guys that have come out hot, they've always won. And so you've got the Colin Morikawa's, the Victor Hovland's, Matt Wolf, you know, those guys have come out and they've won.
So they've been, you know, members immediately, even though they started the year with no status. Well, for me, coming from the Corn Fairy Tour, it's just a little bit different.
And, you know, keep doing what I'm doing. We'll get that first win.
It's just crazy that you won all that money. You finished second.
You were like everyone, you know, I'm not going to say household name, but you kind of were after this weekend. And you technically, if you don't win, you don't get to play in the playoff even though you'd be top 15 yeah so i mean yeah so i think someone said to me today that i think if i was on the list i would have been 13th or something like that um on the fedex cup list but i mean jobs to go out and go in a golf tournament i know it's like i'm kind of looking at it a little more stoic than I should, I guess.
But, you know, getting mad is not going to solve any problems. So it is what it is, and I'm in a really weird spot.
Like I don't think there's really been anyone in this spot maybe ever. Okay.
Yeah, I got a solution for you. And this is part of the reason why we wanted to have you on.
So we wanted to offer an invitation. We talked to Max Homa and Brooks Koepka as an official golfer that part of my take roots for.
Now, we're not golf guys. So it's a very select group.
But what you just described is exactly what we do as a podcast. We will get mad at the PGA for you.
You can be stoic, and we can be bitter and petty. Attack dogs.
Attack dogs. I love it.
Yeah, all for a small nominal fee of all future winnings. Do you accept? It's non-negotiable, right? Non-negotiable.
Nope. Max and Brooks are in.
Unless you have a counteroffer. Yes, yes.
Yeah, well, if it's non-negotiable, then yeah, I'm in. All right, perfect, perfect.
That's amazing. Tell you what, just give us your banking password.
We'll check for you so you don't have to spend all this time refreshing that screen like you've been doing nonstop. We'll let you know when it goes in.
I'm interested to hear

what your mentality was going into the weekend, like how confident you were. I'll put it this way.
When you booked your stay, did you book it through Friday or did you book it through Sunday night? Monday, actually. Just knowing Monday because of the weather, for one, because we were going to have a lot of weather, but I was, you know, I don't mean to minimize the moment because when I stood on the first tee, I was talking to my caddy and it's like, look, I've wanted to be in this situation my whole life, final group of the masters, like everything that I've ever wanted.
And I thought that that weight would have made me more nervous. And I kind of told my caddy, I was like, I thought that I was going to have like a Lex or next level, like nervousness.
And I didn't have that. It was kind of a, I just kind of had an attitude of like the hell of it.
Like we're, we're here. Let's, I mean, the kind of what my caddy Ryan told me is like, you know, he's a military buff and he's like weapons, weapons free, boys.
I mean, we're going. This is it.
I mean, so we just that whole weekend, I, you know, it's like, hey, finishing second means as much as finishing third, fourth, fifth, sixth, whatever. Like, you know, we're out here to go win a green jacket.
So let's go get it. And I saw the quote.
You said that you told your family, like, if i'm stupid enough to think i can play here then i'm stupid enough to think i can win it and that's yeah i mean that's kind of uh the perfect that's why you fit perfectly with this podcast the whole like ethos is we're just dumb enough to think we can be successful like we're we don't actually realize we shouldn't be yeah i mean mean, that kind of the whole quote was really from over the last year, we've had so much going on between COVID and whatnot. Like if COVID didn't happen, I wouldn't have even tried to qualify for the U.S.
Open. But then I was given a spot anyway, and the U.S.
Open moves to September. So I'm able to play, or even I wasn't even to try to qualify so i'm even given a spot it's in a time that fits because i was going to try to put all my focus on the corn fairy tour to get to the pga tour and then finishing six in the u.s open finish eighth the next week next week turn that into special temporary status work my way up the world rankings and it gets me into the masters i'm in the final group on saturday so that's why to me it's like this is so stupid it's insane yeah like yes so that's why that was kind of like you know if someone told me i was going to play in the masters let alone be in the final group on a saturday six months ago i would have thought you're high yeah and monday the monday checkout is i like i Max, you know, who's also now a brother in arms for you because he's part of the group, I think he did early checkout on Friday.
I think he was like, I'll be out of here by 11 a.m. So you said that you were dumb enough to think that you could win the whole thing.
Let's see how dumb you are. What will your your champions dinner be when you do win the masters oh god i haven't even gotten that far nope it's gonna be oh man probably something like god i hate just going like full just big old fat piece of meat like you know, just I live in Dallas.
We got steak places everywhere. Just give me a big old honking piece of meat, some baked potato.
And I don't know, get the veggies for some of the guys who eat clean. What do you think about maybe pigs in a blanket? Big Cat really wanted you to say pigs in a blanket.
That's that. I did see that.
That's actually that was a sick idea i i was i was jealous of that that i any i mean that's why i need to think about it you need to come up with something original like pigs in a blanket never been at that dinner i'm sure there's guys that are sitting there and they're like what is this like is it a hot dog like what what am i eating right uh-huh right yeah so i'm all yeah i'll i'll need to think of something creative if that i gotta win the damn thing first but yeah but i'll have a year to think about it well here's something creative if you want to do a big piece of meat we'll just have it be big piece of meat and uh our intern billy cooks it and it's just the worst piece of meat ever so it's like that's the mat just offends everyone at augusta forever and it's like special it says on the menu, specially cooked by a man who does not know how to cook meat in Billy football. Oh, my God.
I love the line. I was just going to say, everyone gets E.
coli the next day. Because Billy didn't cook it correctly.
Yes, yes. I love the line that you guys used when you were talking about me on the recap.
He looks like Billy if he didn't play sports. He did TikTok instead or whatever.
Yeah. That was amazing.
How much do you weigh? We can say this because we're friends. Yeah.
No, honest to God, 165. Do you think you can put a little weight on that frame? Yeah.
I mean, I mean, I'm a yo-yo. That's the part that's so funny.
It's like, I've been up to 180. I go down to like 155.
And so the last like year, I've been kind of in this weird, like 160, 165 spot. But I think I'll, I think probably this off season, I'll do a little bit of bulking up not i mean not bryson level by any means but the main reason is just because it's like if i'm gonna play 30 weeks out out here like i gotta have some reserves like it's just it's one thing to do it in january through april but you know when it comes to september and it's just like all systems go going after a fedex cup like i gotta have some reserves yeah i think what we do is we we make like a documentary like bryson did his own at home documentary about how he put on whatever 60 pounds we just make it your goal to get up to 180 pounds the quest for 180 and then all you do is you just eat a big texas cinnamon roll every single day one day until you hit 180.
And then I think you're good. I think then you avoid all the skinny jokes out there.
Yeah. Yeah.
No, y'all are hired as nutritionists. Okay.
That's a dangerous thing to do. We've got our plates.
You've seen us? Like, that's okay. No, no.
You know what? I will take that job. We will take that job.
That's absolutely great. How much do you bench? God.
All these golf workouts, we don't, like, grab an actual bench. It's always, like, one-handed, like, isometric stuff.
So I probably haven't benched probably since college. But, yeah, I don't even know.
I probably look like Kevin Durant in the combine where they gave him the 225 and went straight to his chest and had to pick it back up yes yes that's okay that's okay um so i the the uh reason i started to bet on you was jim nance was talking about uh how much tony romo loves you and he's golf with you a bunch and like he's getting you know will's gonna be a stud and i'm so sick of tony romo being right while i'm wrong so i was like all right i'm to bet on him. Turns out Tony Romo was not right this time.
Whatever, that's beside the point. But you do golf a lot with Tony Romo, correct? Like, is he as good as everyone says he is? Yeah, we kind of over the last two to probably three years, we've played a lot of golf.
Like when we had our COVID four-month break, we played five days a week. I mean, some days it was – or some weeks it was like literally two weeks straight just a standing game every single day and you know I'll pay the guy a compliment even though it tastes like vinegar coming out of my mouth because we our little money matches are you know they're death matches I mean we're trying to absolutely beat each other's brains in, but the guy works at it.

He's taught me.

I mean, he's taught me a lot about how he went about playing football. And there's a lot of stuff that kind of goes back to golf.
And there's some questions that he asks that I don't even know the answer to. Like, there's just they're so out there.
The guy just eats, breathes golf. I mean, just, I mean, he's sending me swing videos at 11 30 some nights of him just hitting balls and his you know bare feet and he goes well what do you think about this move because hogan did it i'm like dude go to bed like like if i'm not up practicing right now i think you're good like just go to sleep yeah and but he's just i mean that's the thing is like he he can be as good as he wants to be I think you're good.
Like, just go to sleep. Yeah.
But he just – I mean, that's the thing is, like, he can be as good as he wants to be. I think the next step for him is just going to be learning – and learning kind of, like, how to play the game.
The guy is a genius when it comes to the mechanics. Like, he understands people's golf swings better than I even think some coaches do with their students just because he sits there and he studies them non-stop but it's like if i stick him behind a tree and it's like okay safe par from here that's what we got to work on so hey that's good he'll get there yeah he'll get there i mean it speaks to his mentality that's kind of what made him a successful quarterback was having that drive to be like okay i'm gonna work at night when everybody else isn't.
And even though I'm a kid from a small school, I might get to be the starting quarterback at the Cowboys. Does he talk to the ball when it's in the air or when he's putting and it's rolling in? Is he like, I don't know? Nobody does with everybody else, though.
He's a guy that it's probably the – it's so funny because it's like we'll be playing a game against each other and he'll be like how far do you have what did you hit how'd you hit it how far do you think he carried that i'm like i don't know just hit a shot you're probably gonna not get it inside of me and let's just move on okay like just just he always asks like the non-stop questions and it's like finally when he's on my team he's like the greatest teammate ever but it's like when you're playing against him he's like what you hit how far where's the wind going i'm like oh my god like that's funny yeah he's trying to find that edge i i mean everyone says he's a really really good golfer it'd be crazy if he went to the pga tour i don't know if like what is that difference because he's obviously very good he probably beat you some days days. But is it really like that much more of a mountain that he has to climb to get to that level? So his good days are totally good enough to play at tour level.
It's just the bad is just where he's got to fix it. And, you know, I think he's a great chipper and putter.
He's a pretty good iron player. For him, it's just getting off the tee.
And the days when he drives it well, I give him three shots a side in our game. So he gets six shots total.
And if he drives it well, it's going to be really hard for me to beat him. I mean, that's the thing about him is, like, just because he doesn't – he's not the greatest driver and he'll figure it out.
Like the guy, like I said, he's just nonstop. He hits golf balls just every day.
It's if your family dinner's at six he's like oh that means i can leave at six it's like like dude go home get out of here come back tomorrow like you've been hitting balls for eight hours today but the big thing with him is that when he drives it well he's gonna make like five or six birdies and that means i'm gonna have to go out and shoot like 63 or four to beat him. And he's capable of doing it,

but it's just the days where it's like,

you know,

start missing fairways and,

you know,

all of a sudden makes two or three birdies instead shoot 75 or six.

And that's just the difference,

but that he'll get there.

That's the thing is like the guy,

the guy just loves it.

I mean,

he even said it about football.

It's an unhealthy obsession.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I believe it.

So were you able to see the Adam Sandler tweet at you before you teed

All right. loves it.
I mean, he even said it about football. It's an unhealthy obsession.
Yeah. Yeah.
I believe it.

So were you able to see the Adam Sandler tweet at you before you teed off on Sunday? Did you know that he was out there watching you?

No. So I didn't see it till Sunday night.
And I've gotten that comparison probably since I was

like 17. I qualified for an event in LA or the la open and golf channel posted a picture of me and i had long hair back then too and they're like oh my god this guy's you know sandler or uh happy gilmore's caddy's playing in the pga tour now like who the hell is this kid and then i finally let the hair grow back out during covid and of course it it's just like nonstop now with, you know, more publicity with Owen Wilson, happy Gilmore.
Butch Harmon said, I look like a one iron without a grip on it. I mean, it's like, so I, I just, I love it.
I think it's so funny. I think there are worse comparisons that you could have.
Yeah. Like they can call you post Malone or kid rock all the time.
And would suck if that happened to you but i i think i do think you look more like billy i think you're like vegan billy football yeah it's also i love it it's also refreshing because you you know a lot of times uh not even just golf every sport you know athletes take themselves very seriously so to have fun with it shows like that's what we're looking for in a team member uh in this crew i saw congrats on getting verified i saw when you like on saturday i think you had 3 000 twitter followers now you have 60 000 plus so that's kind of cool has it been just a whirlwind i mean i'd imagine it's it's got to be a little you had the u.s open but this was the masters and it was you know one you know finishing second it got to be a little – you had the U.S. Open, but this was the Masters, and it was finishing second.

It has to be a little bit crazy in your head, I'd imagine.

Yeah, it's a little different.

I mean, the part that's been funny to me is like everything's still fresh, and so I'd go to Whole Foods to go pick up some water and whatnot,

and all of a sudden this guy's like, oh, my God, love watching.. You got to get a picture.
And I'm like, dude, I finished second. Like I didn't win.
Yeah. I'm like, you know, it's great.
I mean, it's obviously, you know, being the underdog I think is what a lot of people really loved. And I felt it on Sunday too, but I don't think it'll, I mean, it's not really been a whirlwind, but I think it'll kind of kick in when i go back home and just kind of see all the boys and whatnot and kind of try to go back to a little more normality and all of a sudden it's like well this is different yeah yeah well now you have the protection of us um do you have do you have any enemies yeah we need to know that no not i mean i'm still i mean i'm still a rookie man i haven't had enough time to make any enemies out of here yeah well just in general like what's your least favorite airline or just anything that you don't like i need to know i need to know something that you hate so i can also start to hate it oh god i gotta think about this oh wow the fact you mentioned airline thinking this through when my bag's 52 pounds and they want to charge me 100 bucks yeah are you that that to me that's like all-time irk you should i mean in that situation this is good that you're on so we can help you problem solve this you could simply say to them hey guys like my bag plus me is not even a real like grown man so don't worry about it yeah i've probably saved a thousand dollars for some of the airlines from kind of sticking my foot underneath the bag a little bit and kind of lifting it up when it's on the scale so but it does it does balance out like you could be 50 pounds heavier right right yeah it'd be like that oceans 12 uh character and they put them in the bag yeah Yeah.
Like nothing happened. Yeah, like you could just point to a guy like me standing there with a huge bag and a fat belly.
You're like, that guy's like 350 pounds on the plane and you're getting on me and I'm like 185 combined. All right, so no enemies.
That's good. So basically what we're going to do is now that you're part of the crew, I don't think we're even going to open it to anyone else because, again, we're not big golf guys, but we're big root for our guys guys.
The only other guy that I could see us letting into the club is the guy that just vapes all the time. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, Kyrdek off in Bonra. Yeah, open invite to that guy who's just always blowing clouds on the golf course.
That guy's fucking awesome yeah did you guys ever see the podcast that he did when he talked about his

apartment for his shoes no yeah he's got like he's got like a hundred thousand dollars worth

of yeezys or something like that right yeah he's got a so i don't remember exactly what the number

is but i know that he had an apartment for his shoes and i think his wife found out about the

apartment she's like what the hell is this and she he like showed it to her and he was like

Thank you. the number is, but I know that he had an apartment for his shoes.
And I think his wife found out about the apartment and she's like, what the hell is this? And she, he like showed it to her and he was like, she's like, really? Like, I mean, this is it. It's so, I was watching, I can't remember what podcast that was, but that was really funny.
Yeah. He's invited.
Otherwise it's just the three of you guys. We need a good group nickname for you, too.

I don't know. We're tossing around a couple of those.

But we'll figure out a nickname.

But yeah, it's essentially we are... And you just got to know that we're going to root

for Brooks number one because he's the OG.

Max,

whenever, you know, I don't know.

He competes,

so we'll root for him. Big Cat loves

kind of slandering Max.

Because he costs Big Cat money. Also, he can take it because he's the Twitter roast guy so it's actually lovingly like I know Max can handle a good joke Max is very good although are you ahead of him in the rankings now I don't know I really don't know I mean the guys won twice yeah but you got second which in US rugby but you got second, which in U.S.
rugby terms, you're above him. No, so Max is number two, and then you'll be three.
So essentially, if Brooks and Max can't win, we want you to win every single tournament. I love it.
Without a doubt, we'll be tweeting about it. We'll be having your back.
Anyone who comes at us, we'll fight them online. This is all online, by the way.
Just so you know. Once it crosses over, then that's your bulkier brother Billy's department.
Yeah, Billy will fight physically if he needs to, but it's pretty much just defending your honor. And you know, here's a little tip for you.
There will be, the better you get, the more acclaim you get, there will be people who will hate you and we will take care of them. We will tell them.
I love it. And we'll spin zone the hell out of it.
So, like, I don't know if you saw it. Did you see Brooks on Thursday and Friday? No, I didn't, but I saw that he saw his comments, put it that way, about how he played.
Just gutted it out. And he was a hero.
Next time you see him, I'd appreciate if you saluted him for everything he's done for us in the game of golf. I'd do that anyway just because he's so much bigger than me.
Oh, I've got actually a golf-related question about Augusta, about the course, because we respect that course a lot. Everyone always talks about how undulated the greens are the local knowledge, scott van pelt put it on monday uh you hadn't had you played it before at all just once so when you're hitting shots and the ball's landing were there any shots on uh on saturday or sunday where you thought that you were absolutely fucked where you got a great kick from the uh from the augusta gods where you're like i didn't know mound was there, but it helped me out.
I had on, what was it? I think it was, first thing that comes to mind is definitely Sunday. Well, actually, first day, definitely first day, number 15.
The greens obviously were baked out like crazy. They were just so firm and you had to be so precise and the pins on the front right corner on that par five and i had like 195 in so and i'm a little bit downwind and everyone's just landing the ball in the front section of the green it's just taking one 25 foot hop going over the back and then they're chipping it basically straight downhill with water behind them.
And I think one of the guys playing actually putted one on the water from like 25 feet. Um, but I landed one in a, basically a 10 inch section of fringe that was right by a sprinkler head.
And so it was just a hair softer and it lands just basically plops left,

catches the fringe, rolls down the hill, goes like eight feet and I make eagle.

And it's like if that thing literally lands on the green,

it is 30 yards past that hole.

That's crazy.

So that's like a one and a half, maybe probably one and a half,

almost two shot swing right there.

Yeah.

Did you bow to the course afterwards? You should have. Yeah, he's the OG on that one.
He's got me there. Yeah, that was cool.
That was a very cool move. What are you golfing? Are you golfing in a tournament this weekend? Yeah, I'm at Hilton Head.
I'm going to play Hilton Head, and I got a couple weeks off. Okay.
So is that way? Is Hilton Head? It's not. Don't play in the Puerto Rico Open.
Yeah, don't play in the Puerto Rico Open. If you win that, you're fucked.

Yeah, that's actually true.

That's true.

Yeah, thankfully I think it's an opposite field of it.

So I'll be in one of the WGCs.

And then wait, is Hilton Head, is this a PGA event?

Yeah, I'm teeing off tomorrow.

I got Dustin Johnson and Billy Horschel.

So much for going off last of each wave and bringing in the flag sticks for everybody. Putting me at the back of the pack.
It's a little different now. I guess we're rooting for you this weekend.
Yeah, we're big time rooting for you. Is Max in this? I got to start being nice to Max.
We love Max. We're homosexuals.
I actually do love Max and I know he can take it. That's why I say these things.
but I got to start being nice to Max. We love Max.
We're homosexuals. I actually do love Max, and I know he can take it.
That's why I say these things, but I got to start being nicer to him. I don't see him there.
All right, you know what? He's probably just resting up for the next one that he's going to win. All right, well, this has been awesome.
We thank you. We appreciate you coming on.
Oh, one last rule. If you ever win a tournament, you have to come on that Sunday night.
That Sunday night. Yeah.
We'll make that happen. Well, actually, no.
Yeah, that Sunday night. Yeah, 10, 15 minutes.
Actually, yeah, Brooks called us from, I think, the bar after he won the U.S. Open.
So, yeah, yes, that Sunday night. Yeah, and Brooks is going to call you after one in the u.s open

hell yeah count me in well a few beers we'll talk everything over how about that yeah you just have to do a quick face tell you what if we can lock that in and guarantee it we'll give you back five percent of your career earnings from this point forward so we only keep 95 deal perfect yeah i'm all in on that i'm glad the non-negotiable got taken off the table there appreciate that you We just got power shifted.

Yeah, we just power shifted you.

Oh, man.

All right, well, thanks so much. Yeah, I'm all in on that.
I'm glad the non-negotiable got taken off the table there. Appreciate that.
You just got power shifted.

Yeah, we just power shifted you.

Oh, man.

All right, well, thanks so much, man.

Really appreciate it.

Good luck this weekend.

We'll be rooting.

I don't think Brooks or Max are playing, so you're our guy.

I love it.

Thanks, boys.

Really appreciate it.

Very happy for you, man.

Thanks, man.

Hey, what's going on there, pal?

We saw you at the hockey game on.

Do I know you guys? I'm Ryan Whitney. I got a drink named after me not a big deal pink whitney that's what i thought see you fellas i invented the thing you pigeon pink whitney for legendary moments all right let's wrap up we got fire fest of the week hank grandpa update uh i have not been back to dog park.
There's the update. So Normie's getting fat.
No, he's going long walks. Well, he's thick and fat.
Is he a pog? And long. And long.
Sounds like he's just a pog. Yeah, he's not fat at all.
If he was fat, he wouldn't even be able to walk because his stomach would be on the ground. I have a couple of fire fests Someone else dragging on the ground.
One is about Normie. Rhea, my girlfriend, she posted a TikTok about her dog being cute or whatever, and someone was like, all right, let's see the dog.
So she posted a TikTok with cute pictures of Norman, and the comments just absolutely. I felt like, you know, Big Cat, I hope your kid never gets bullied.
I hope he never comes home home and is like look at all these people said mean things about me as a father I felt so bad it broke my heart just people saying the meanest things do you have an ugly dog people saying he looks like Steve Buscemi yeah Steve Buscemi is actually good looking that dog looks like a collection of genetic errors was the top comment 511 likes wait say that at ground zero? 511 likes. Wait, say that again.
Hold on. Say that again.
That dog looks like, and keep in mind, it's from user 5634569823, and the picture is Getter from Real Bros, the baby guy, and says, that dog looks like a collection of genetic errors. That's the comment.
I see the TikTok. I'm like, oh, that's cute.
Obviously, my dog cute. Let's see what the comments say.
Top comment is roasting him. That's what we all are.
And the second comment says Norman looks like Steve Buscemi. But Steve Buscemi, again, he's kind of a heartthrob if you look at it right.
There is a special place in hell for people who comment about a dog's looks online. People said my hedgehog looked like a naked mole rat.
Well, it did. Dude, we're not saying that hedgehogs aren't real.
Hedgehogs are not. That's not a pet.
No one gives a fuck about a hedgehog. Exactly like a naked mole rat.
Jesus. Billy was trying to be relatable.
Yeah, dude, that reminds me of the time that... Listen, my worm farm got roasted on Twitter, too.
People don't like cool stuff. Yeah, my albino salamander? People were saying it wasn't hot.
I actually have another one that I wasn't going to bring to the show. I forgot to text you guys.
I was going to save for the show. I forgot about it until right now.
On Saturday, remember we talked about you're going to have to get Norman's horny up, whatever? Yes, for the boys. For the boys.
It happened. He started humping, going crazy.
His dick came all the way out, and he just stood there for 10 minutes, not moving. And I felt bad for him, so I got an ice cube out, and I had to hold an ice cube on his dick so it would go back in.
Oh, hey. You didn't have to do that.
I did. You could have just not touched his penis.
No, I did that for 10 minutes, and he literally stood still. No, no.
I'm curious what went through your head where you're like,

my dog has a boner.

I better go to the freezer and get an ice cube out

and then hold it on to his penis.

Because he stood still for 10 minutes just staring.

Has he been neutered yet?

Yes.

And I was like, all right, I got to do something

because clearly he's not comfortable.

He's down bad.

I got to jerk him off.

So he was just like staring at you just with a huge boner hanging out.

Yeah. Dog Sean Watson.
Damnatson damn yeah it was damn it was tough so yeah that i'm not even gonna go into my other fire fest it's not even what is your other well i i saw so quigs i saw quigs's tweet he's down way worse but dogecoin is blowing up he has been in on this for like 10 years like liam was there we were joking around this is like a year year and a half ago late night we're joking around he had been talking about doge i was like all right sell me on doge he did i was like all right i'm gonna put 500 into it basically as a joke and i ended up selling it like a little while later like it didn't do anything for like two months and now how much would it have been worth he on, on July 6, 2020, said,

I am now a proud owner of 1.3 million Dogecoin.

That would be worth like $250,000 right now. What?

Dude, he also has, he used to get paid in Bitcoin,

and he lost the wallet.

Yeah.

Like in 2011.

Yeah, so he, like, I feel kind of the same way

because I would be, I would probably have like $10,000 or something, but at least I'm not Quakes. Yeah.
Jesus. You got paper hands.
Yeah. Jesus.
I still have my Dogecoin. It wasn't that much, but I'm looking pretty nice.
My portfolio is very strong at the moment. That's crazy.
Damn. All right, PFT, what's your FireFest? My FireFest of the week is I lost my beach house.
Ah. All our fire fests.
I know, man. I'm telling you, it would have been.
How'd you lose it? It was going to be sick. They ended up selling the house.
That's what they tell people they don't want to rent it to. Listen, it was going to be white boy summer.
They had an offer. I knew the offer was coming through.
I didn't know if it was going to hit. But it was perfect.
It was right on the beach, on the Jersey Shore, right next to a bar, like literally on the beach. So now I've got to go back to zero.
I'm still getting the Jeep. I'm still going Jeep Wrangler, taking all the doors off.
It's going to be the summer PFT. Just live there.
Live out of the Jeep on the beach. That's not a bad idea.
Actually, yeah, it's a terrible idea. But now I've got to go back to square one and start looking for beach houses on the beach and uh they're few and far between right now so i'm probably going to end up getting a dump as opposed to this really nice one damn and i was just i would spend all day just looking at the airbnb looking at the porch overlooking the ocean yeah just thinking to myself that's going to be you this summer yeah now i got to do it all over again damn i know.
It really is a fire fest for me. I'm sorry.
All right. I have two fire fests.
Holy shit, shit. Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Here we go. This is the pump-up part of the song.
This really isn't the sad part. You know what? This is me holding an ice cube on Norman's dick.
You're trying to fix him. No, you already fixed him.
Yeah. All right, my Firefest.
So I have two. One is you bring it up, Hank, about how you hope no one ever bullies my son.
Well, I had a moment at the park on Sunday where I realized I might be. The dog park? Nope, the son park.
I might be that guy who ends up getting in a fight at a Little League game because a five-year-old kid stole the ball from my son, who's not even two, and I just ripped it out of the five-year-old kid's hand. And then the dad looked at me like, what are you doing? I'm like, well, what's your son doing? You know what that is? That's a big sunglasses on the back of the head upside down guy move.
I don't know what to do.

I mean, his son was way older than mine, and he just stole the ball from our ball.

And I was like, you can't take that.

So now your son's going to think that you're going to step in for all of his fights in the future.

Yeah, I probably should just let him.

But it was like a – the difference between five and less than two is significant.

Yeah, but that's when he learns to be an underdog.

True.

Okay, all right.

Have you talked about war mode yet?

Yeah, I'll teach him war mode.

All right. Have you talked about war mode yet? Yeah, I'll teach him war mode.
I'll have him look in my eyes. You've got to teach him that Oklahoma wrestler move.
Put some cowboy boots on him. You just touch the side of his face and then boom.
The AJ Ferrari, the guy who took the ACT once, 25, no big deal. The other Fyre Fest is my other son, Billy.

So Instagram, which I actually understand they've gotten a little bit better about bullying and all this stuff.

Our Instagram, pardon my takes Instagram, got flagged.

And I asked Gaz what the flag was for because Gaz told me we got flagged.

It was the picture of Billy's nose. So that was deemed bullying.
I didn't do it. Did you report? I didn't do it.
I 100% didn't do it. Okay.
Wow. Why does everyone think I'm a...
This happened just, what, a month ago? We had this conversation about Twitter. Interesting.
Interesting. Is it the video or did you guys post a picture of my nose? I think it's the picture of the nose that's, yeah, it's interesting that it got flagged.
Bro, I did not flagged. Unbelievable coincidence.
It just keeps happening. I did not know.
This is. What were you saying about my son fighting his fight for herself? Now Instagram.
No, this isn't. I mean, are you going to take our TikTok down next? Dude, people have been making fun of my nose Since my nose actually grew before my body So I even had this nose And I was just like Now it's fine, yeah Then your body totally grew into it You're just like constantly falling over Because your nose is so heavy Yeah, but like, you know, I grew up Let me just say this Someone had to alert Instagram Someone should take a look at these comments Dude, I don't give a about my nose.
People in middle school used to make fun of my nose on Yik Yak, which is anonymous, and you used to read it, and it was like, I'm so desensitized to bullying. The Billy Football Army is too sensitive.
Billy, maybe the Army's too sensitive. The Berserker Blood Cult boys.
I'm going to assume you didn't report it, but I just it clear that uh it is you're it's legally in your contract like we we are legally allowed to bully you yeah no okay all right that's kind of why you're here right right so like instagram be like hey that's bullying we're gonna counter sue them be like no no that's the guy we're allowed to bully yes 100 all right so nobody make fun of us for making fun of billy's nose nobody report us. What was the other thing that you got in trouble? Interesting, Billy.
The hydration thing? Hydration. He fucking reported Chris Long's Twitter.
I did not report his Twitter. Twitter was reporting people who posted about...
On the eve of 420, no less? They were posting about the city of Akron, and they'd automatically report them for some reason. You just found this out? Sounds like you know a lot about...
How did you find this out?

I was trying to find out if I could show people I didn't report any tweets.

The best part is there was a memo sent around

to all Twitter security that Billy is part of.

Yeah, so Billy instead of

looking at trends when he goes

to the notifications or the Discover tab,

you just see the most 10

popular reported things and

then you go through those and you report all those you're in like you're in a reverse hype group you're in a hate group you're in a hate what billy's hate group dude i don't report shit billy what's your firefest besides the fact that we just found out you reported our own instagram i you know our own instagram a lot of dude i would not report our own instagram billy just hear me out though.

Just humor me.

Someone

saw those comments and took such offense to them that they were like, this is unacceptable. This is bullying.
We need to get this post taken down. Who would do that? Dude.
Who? Big tech is a problem. Uh-huh.
With a lot of censorship type stuff. Okay.
Go on. They posted the picture of...
Part of my tech Instagram has posted pictures, all bad pictures of all of us. All of us.
Why was the one that conveniently of you the one that got deemed boring? Dude. They posted PFT short.
They posted big cat fat. They posted the Photoshop of me with no beard.
They posted normie. That one was real, though.
Looking like a genetic freak. Yep.
All of the comments, just brutal. Bro, I would not.
Why was it the one of you? I have no idea. Honestly, I'm not even sure if this even happened or existed.
You're right. Because you guys were texting it in the thread.
No. Show some proof that this actually happened.
Gaz walked up to me this morning and said, hey, just want to give you a heads up. And I said, great.
I will save that for Fyre Fest. Thank you for alerting me.
If we can't make fun of somebody for having a big nose, then really what's the point of having the internet? Or noses. Don't say cocaine.
Don't say frog fucking. Right.
Anyway, I didn't do it. All right.
What's your Fyre Fest? I know my truth. I didn't work out as hard as I could have this week.
And I haven't been. Oh, dude, you should report yourself.
That's mean. No, I like, you know, this week I actually just like I skipped a couple workouts.
And, you know, I tried to work out really hard today. And I, you know, what wasn't the same.
It didn't feel right. So I'm behind the eight ball.
I cheated myself very hard this week. Yeah, you did.
We could tell. That's your fire fest.
How long ago did you come up with that as your fire fest? How many seconds ago did you think of that? I was working out this morning, and I finished my workout, but I was just like, damn. I can't believe you reported on our own Instagram.
Billy, is that why you don't have shoelaces so you won't hang yourself because of all the mean comments? Oh. Or is it because you're wearing no shoelaces for your hero that just passed away this week? Bernie Madoff? Did you say he was a hero of yours? Who's that? Okay, sure.
Yep. I mean, in a way, he kind of was like a king.

Kind of a G?

Yeah, really kind of a G.

Wait, so you're saying you didn't work out as hard this week, so you're feeling insecure

about your body?

No.

All right, Jake, what's yours?

I have two.

I have two.

One is not your guy's fault, but we have Cereal Box Part 2 with the movie poster, but not

your guy's fault.

Not our fault.

Not our fault.

Yeah.

Not our fault.

On the Sean Payton movie poster that we made, I did not tell them what to put at the bottom of it and they left Sweet Jake out. Sweet Jake, that was not intentional but the fact that it's happened twice kind of means that we have to turn it into a continuing thing where we will in the future intentionally leave you off things just because people will alert you to it.
And good news, know that you can actually take it instead of like billy who will report it so like we'll keep doing it that's why it would have been marked as contained sensitive material yeah yeah all right and your next one yeah um a place that rhymes with sussed jallid changed their menu and my two favorite salads are now off the board.

I went into them today and I wasn't happy.

What are you going to do about it?

I mean, I just have to cope.

Do you think that there's ever been a fight

in a Jess salad?

No.

Probably not.

No, it seems like the most calm

restaurant atmosphere in and out

you can think of.

Maybe if they mess up your order,

people are chirping at the noise.

At a salad place? Yeah. Maybe.
I just think it's absurd that they have winter and summer menus in a fucking salad place. It's salad.
Yeah, it's salad. I don't want to eat the same shit in the winter.
It's salad. What's the difference between salad in the winter and salad in the summer? It's like saying what's the difference between football in the fall and football in the spring.
How many Jackson State games have you watched? You know what? You're probably one of those guys who thinks like, oh, I'll eat a pear at any point in the year. Yes.
No. No, until you eat an off-season pear.
If you eat an off-season pear, you'll come on. Oh, every tomato is made the same.
No. They're seasons, bro.
You ever eat like a dead of winter avocado? It stinks. You guys are talking about individual items.
I'm talking about a menu. Yeah.
And it stinks. Like Taco Bell does not have a fucking winter menu and a summer menu.
It stinks. I'm the most loyal customer to that place.
And they just let me down. You are.
I get it four times a week. 100.
Or 99.

No free ads. 36.

18. Wolfrogs don't sleep.

Also Firefest. Jake and Hank both.

Well, Jake lost in Pink Pong. Hank won.

21. 32.

The nose post is still up.

I'm calling. I'm calling.
Right.

But it got flagged. Gaz fucking disputed

it, you dummy. We had to be like,

no, it's fine that they're bullying this guy.

It's the one that compares me to Nigel

Thornberry, which I think is pretty cool because that dude

to see you next time. Gaz fucking disputed it, you dummy.
We had to be like, no, it's fine that they're bullying this guy.

It's the one that compares me to Nigel Thornberry, which I think is pretty cool because that dude is sick.

Okay.

Love you guys.

You reported it.

Love you guys.

Look, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

The top comment is Billy saying fuck you to someone.

Oh.

Oh.

What?

You're clearly around.

I said fuck you to Marty Mush He screenshot this

And everyone else was smiling

Yeah

Okay yeah no I admit to that

Yeah 100% I told Marty Mush I'm sage anyway. Today's another day to find you.
Shine away. I'll be coming for your love.
Take on me. Take me on.
I'll be gone

After your dream

Needless to say

I won't say this

But I'll be stolen away

The living life is okay

Say after me

I'll be damned if you get high off me for free

Thank you. Take me away.
The living life is okay. Say it up to me.
I'll be damned if you get high off me for free. Hell no, you better bring your own split teeth.
It's no better to be safe. Take on me.
Take me on. I'll be gone And after I'm free Take me on Take me on I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I got I on it.
I got some bucks on it, but it ain't enough on it. Go get the F to T-I-D-E-S.
Nevertheless, I'm L-A-F-Rest rolling joints like the cigarette. So has it crossed the table like ping pong.
I'm that. Thank you.
I got my world pays the magic. That's only that.
I got one too long But now let's go

Half on a side