Bill Burr, Julian Edelman Retires, And FAQ's

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Speaker 3 On today's part of my take, we have Bill Burr, recurring guest Hall of Famer Bill Burr.

Speaker 3 Also, a Hall of Fame discussion about recurring guest Hall of Famer Julian Edelman and why it's bullshit that his

Speaker 3 actual accomplishments have been belittled by the internet because he may not be a Hall of Famer. We have

Speaker 3 Hot Sea Cool Throne and then we have FAQs. Get ready for a great, great, great Wednesday show.

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Speaker 6 i was trying to scare hank i was trying to freak him out on that one it's uh

Speaker 3 should we debate julian edelman in the hall of fame day well let's debate whether or not we should have that debate big cat well i was laughing i was trying to think we should give some give him some respect all the player first yes Yes,

Speaker 3 pause for one second and then debate that. Yeah, good point.

Speaker 6 Let's wait for all the facts to come out first. Okay, so

Speaker 3 let's not, you're right, Hank. We need to give him his credit.

Speaker 3 But I also was chuckling to myself before we got to the show, and I was like, just kind of doing a quick, I do a quick scroll through the internet to see if I missed anything.

Speaker 3 And it dawned on me that we're in a lull in the sports discourse because you obviously had March Madness and the Masters. You're waiting for NBA playoffs and Stanley Cup playoffs.

Speaker 3 You're waiting for the NFL draft.

Speaker 3 And it's so funny how the crutch that everyone uses: it's debate a Hall of Famer that no one really is debating except everyone's debating just so that they can dunk on no one that's existing.

Speaker 3 And then the other one is KD is fighting with someone online, so super teams come up. That's like the it's like the break in case of emergency.

Speaker 3 If there's nothing to talk about, you can always talk about super teams and KD being triggered online.

Speaker 6 Or you can always do the thing where you just you invent somebody to dunk on. So it's like, I saw somebody actually tweet this out the other day.

Speaker 6 Y'all say, y'all out here saying that Kevin Durant isn't a good mid-range jump shooter. And it's like, no, no one, literally no one said that.

Speaker 6 Him and like Alan Houston are probably the best jump shooters of all time. But yeah, you just, you invent stuff to debate about.
I do disagree with you about the Edelman thing.

Speaker 6 I don't know who you're following on Twitter. There are a lot of people that think that Julian Edelman should be in the Hall of Fame.
Off the top of my head, Skip Bayless. Okay.

Speaker 3 No, there's one. For real who, though.

Speaker 6 I mean, that's one. No, but there's

Speaker 6 no, you're in your echo chamber because there are tons of people.

Speaker 3 I think you're in an echo chamber. No, name them.

Speaker 6 I'm seeing like 60-40.

Speaker 6 I don't keep a list of people.

Speaker 3 I don't think you can name more than three real people. For Julian Edelman, you shouldn't keep.
Three real people.

Speaker 6 Not off the top of my head, but there are a lot of people that think that Julian Edelman should be in the Hall of Famer.

Speaker 3 I don't know if you can name more than three real people.

Speaker 6 Look at the replies to your tweet.

Speaker 3 I said three real people. I'm not talking about fans who are obviously going to go with their guy.
I'm talking about three writers, people who might vote for the Hall of Fame. Tom Kern.

Speaker 3 He said that he's not probably not a Hall of Famer.

Speaker 6 I thought he said that he was.

Speaker 3 I'm pretty sure on his article, he was like,

Speaker 3 I think he's an incredible patriot, and he obviously had a lot to do with the dynasty, but probably not a Hall of Fame.

Speaker 6 I've seen a lot of people saying that Julian Edelman should be in the Hall of Fame. They might not have blue check marks next to them.

Speaker 3 But I'm saying, that's what I'm saying. I don't think there's actually, there are fans.

Speaker 6 You're gatekeeping the Hall of Fame debate.

Speaker 3 No, I'm not. Because I, no, no, no, no, no.
I think that, no, because I'm trying to figure out where this started because what's happening is it's basically what Hank just alluded to.

Speaker 3 It's not fair to Julian Ellman, who had an incredible career, that people are immediately being like, Heinz Ward's better, Reggie Wayne's better, all these numbers are better.

Speaker 3 It's like, but no one actually like, show me the few people that are actually saying he deserves to be

Speaker 6 so I think where this started was because this was bubbling up.

Speaker 3 But show me the people who are saying he's the no-doubter Hall of Famer. They don't exist.

Speaker 6 No, one's saying he's a no-doubter, but here's the thing: there it started like maybe two years ago, right when he was in the middle of another playoff run, when people were talking about him as being maybe the best playoff wide receiver of all time, not named Jerry Rice.

Speaker 6 And then from that discussion, people were like, well, how much does that impact?

Speaker 3 Is this a Greeny thing?

Speaker 3 Are you caping for Greeny?

Speaker 6 You think Greeney would cape for a New England Patriot?

Speaker 3 I think Greeny would be like, you know what's a really good debate that won't get me in any trouble that I can just start and do four shows about? Julian Edelman and the Hall of Fame.

Speaker 6 So I don't think, well, I don't, see, now you've got me saying I don't think that he should be in the Hall of Fame, which sounds mean because he just retired and he had a great career, obviously.

Speaker 6 Okay, so here's what

Speaker 6 someone retires and you don't immediately have a debate on whether or not they should be in the Hall of Fame, like Peter King shows up at your doorstep and won't leave until you laugh at his anecdote.

Speaker 6 Right.

Speaker 6 But he's been discussing this a little bit, too.

Speaker 3 I just don't, I can't find the person who's like running the Julian Edelman Should Be in the Hall of Fame campaign. I can't find him.
Well, Billy was finding that person is a fucking...

Speaker 3 Billy, what did you say? Agent of Chaos. Well, Billy doesn't think he's retired.
It's the Hall of Fame, not the Hall of Stats. Okay.
That's my point on the matter.

Speaker 6 Okay. So

Speaker 6 you're saying that he's not a Hall of Fame receiver.

Speaker 3 He doesn't have Hall of Fame stats, but he's a Hall of Fame player.

Speaker 6 I think he's a Hall of Fame human being.

Speaker 3 There we go.

Speaker 3 Okay,

Speaker 3 here's my take on Julian Ellman. He's an incredible player.
Here's what they really should do. They should change the Hall of Fame.
It should be, we should even make it more nerdy, and it should be

Speaker 3 Hall of Fame above replacement value or where you were drafted.

Speaker 3 So, if you do that Julian Adam was drafted in the seventh round, he's a Hall of Famer because he exceeded all the expectations for his career.

Speaker 6 He's a Mel Kuiper Hall of Famer, right?

Speaker 3 And then, if you have a first round, if you draft a guy in the first round, he has to have

Speaker 3 an insane Hall of Fame career to be in the Hall of Fame. Seventh rounders should get a little bit more of a benefit of the doubt for how much they exceeded what everyone expected out of them.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I think what this comes down to is it's a lot of people that are essentially saying that the New England Patriots dynasty should be in the Hall of Fame.

Speaker 6 So it's not as much like Julian was such a big part of that dynasty. I think more the argument is just like that, Hank, you probably want like the entire

Speaker 6 run that you had, every player that played on the Patriots going back to 2001. You want like Wilfrick, Seymour, Malcolm Butler, your vest.

Speaker 3 I wouldn't say Malcolm Butler.

Speaker 3 My vest should be in like

Speaker 3 some type of

Speaker 3 fame, not voted in, but it's part of the right

Speaker 3 when you go to the Hall of Fame to visit, there should be like a little section like Brady 4, my vest, maybe showing all the bets I won, my pet slips and stuff.

Speaker 6 Right, but is that kind of the crux of it?

Speaker 6 It's mostly people who are just like New England Patriots Dynasty should be in the Hall of Fame.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I mean, I don't think he's going to be in the Hall of Fame. His moments, like you said, will be in the Hall of Fame

Speaker 3 in the moments as you're walking through the museum, like greatest playoff performances, the catch, the throw, and the Ravens game.

Speaker 7 But yeah, he's not going to have a bust.

Speaker 3 But that doesn't matter. Right, it doesn't matter.
And he has three rings. And I'm like.
You're an MVP.

Speaker 3 It actually is getting me mad. Terrible MVP.
That whoever created this debate has ended up making the discourse about Julian Edelman's career, how he's not a Hall of Famer.

Speaker 3 That shouldn't even be the question. It should just be he's an all-time great clutch receiver, big moments.
He was the one who came up through.

Speaker 3 Like, his career is incredible when you think about the fact that he was a seventh rounder and you know like a kick returner. Maybe like they thought maybe he'd be a DB, all these things.

Speaker 3 So I'm more mad that whoever decided, and I can't find the person, I want you to find me the person, PFT, that created the debate of Julian Edelman deserves to be in the Hall of Fame, has now had the reaction of everyone being like he's not a Hall of Famer.

Speaker 3 And it's like, shut up. Why don't you just celebrate the guy's career? Right.

Speaker 6 It's more a matter of we've been talking about it as kind of like a theoretical experiment for the last couple years. Like when the day comes.

Speaker 3 Who started? So there's been a pre-debate.

Speaker 6 There's been a pre-debate going on. And there are a ton of people out there that think that.
Jake actually had a great take today. I love this.

Speaker 6 We were actually discussing Julian Edelman's Hall of Fame resume, and Jake was like,

Speaker 6 the debate over whether or not Julian Edelman should be in the Hall of Fame should be in the Hall of Fame. It's a Hall of Fame debate.
It is a Hall of Fame debate. No doubt about it.

Speaker 6 And I do think that some of the people that are saying that he should be in the Hall of Fame, he gets

Speaker 6 like an added benefit.

Speaker 3 You can search, it's so easy to find

Speaker 3 dozens of people. I couldn't find anyone who is an absolute people who's a right.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I couldn't find anyone who's a Hall of Fame voter or like an NFL writer or like someone who,

Speaker 3 because I just can't stand, and I guess this is just the internet. I just hate the internet in general, but I can't stand everyone arguing against something.

Speaker 3 It's like, but no one was arguing the other side. You guys are dunking on no one.
So all I saw last night, like Heinz Ward was trending. Reggie Wayne was trending.

Speaker 3 And people were tweeting out, like, look at Reggie Reggie Wayne's stats, look how much better he is than Julian Edelman. It's like, shut up, dude.
Why don't you just appreciate Julian Edelman?

Speaker 3 No one said that he was, had better stats than Reggie Wayne.

Speaker 6 I think what you're seeing these people writing the articles in response to are the replies to people's tweets.

Speaker 3 That's stupid. That's who they're.

Speaker 6 That's who they're. Well, those are real people too, big cats.

Speaker 3 They are, but that's not like those are like everyone's going to want their favorite player to be in the Hall of Fame.

Speaker 6 I think that a lot of times, Julian Edelman and Danny Amendola, Julian gets credit for some of the things that, in the back of your head, you think that maybe Danny, or he gets credit for the stuff that Danny Amendola did.

Speaker 6 And Wes Welker. And Wes Welker a little bit.
So he's like, there should be a bust for all three of them. Julie, Dan, Welcome, Mendola.

Speaker 3 It should just be slot receiver Patriots. Yes.

Speaker 6 Yes. That should be in the Hall of Fame.

Speaker 3 Yes. Because we buy it all into one.
I'm cool with that. And I think Julian Edelman, like, he's not,

Speaker 3 if I had a Hall of Fame vote, he would be one of those guys that, like, when they do the, you know, how, like, Cower got in and cried on TV tv and they let everyone in that year like that would be uh wait till one of those years whenever what what's that was a year that was 100 right so like wait till 150 and they start opening the door to everyone and they clean up the hall of fame that feels like a julian edelman and he's gonna i think he if i had to like guess i think he end will end up in it in like 20 years because people will keep it alive and it will like grow in in and no other receiver will do what he's done in the playoffs right in the next 20 years right right ever Ever.

Speaker 3 It is crazy that Reggie Wayne's not in the Hall of Fame. That was wild.
And Heinz Ward. And Heinz Ward.
That is crazy to me.

Speaker 6 I mean, yeah, if you're judging by the company that you keep, it's very funny to me to see what trends on Twitter when something that has nothing to do with them.

Speaker 6 So

Speaker 6 if

Speaker 6 the day comes when Joe Flacco retires, you know Trent Dilfer's going to come.

Speaker 3 How has that not happened?

Speaker 6 Because

Speaker 6 he's still playing.

Speaker 3 He's going to do a mid-season experience.

Speaker 6 You can almost predict the runoff conversation that's going to happen with Flacco Duff.

Speaker 3 a trend as well.

Speaker 6 Ray Rice might trend on that. Big Ben retires Deshaun Watson trends.

Speaker 3 Yeah, there's going to be...

Speaker 3 I just don't. I don't know.
It's just, there's no.

Speaker 3 I do. Debates are.
They get a little tired, but it's like, if Julian Edelman's not in, Eli Manning's obviously not in either. That's why I don't get how people say that either.

Speaker 3 Well, yeah, Eli Manning was a little bit more than a long time. I truly don't understand.

Speaker 3 I never thought Eli would be in, but it's kind of what you're talking about. It's going to be longevity.
Eli played for a lot longer. Like Julian Edelman was only...

Speaker 3 a quarterback. Right, right, no, but I'm saying for a long time at a high level.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I'm saying that would be the same thing. Quarterbacks have longer longevity in general than slot wide receivers going through the middle every snap.
I'm just saying the counter-argument.

Speaker 6 Eli Manning also beat Julie Denn, Welcome Endola twice in the Super Bowl.

Speaker 3 I think only one was Julie Mendola.

Speaker 6 Julie Denn Welcomendola.

Speaker 3 Billy doesn't even think Julian Edelman's retired, by the way. We need to get to that.
I have a lot of faith in his work ethic, and I think he definitely is going to try to rehab it and come back.

Speaker 3 He had an incredible career, Hall of Famer in the recurring guest book.

Speaker 3 And yeah, he's like, I don't know.

Speaker 3 To me. Or in a bus made for him.
Being clutched. Maybe they should have a playoff Hall of Fame because he would definitely be in there.
I'd like to see that. That would be the Patriots one.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Just call it the Patriots.

Speaker 3 Patriots Hall of Fame.

Speaker 3 I actually feel bad.

Speaker 3 It ends up, I feel bad for, I know he doesn't care, but I feel bad for Julian Edelman that this debate happens on the day that he retires when it's like, shut up, like just appreciate the fact that he was an awesome player and really no one's debating the other side.

Speaker 3 Shut up, all you writers who are debating against him.

Speaker 6 We should wait until the facts come out in a matter like this. Let's not politicize Julian Edelman's retirement.

Speaker 3 I want to find the fucking people. I want their agents of chaos, the people who started this.
They just watched the world burn. They just set it aflame.

Speaker 6 I think that we should include more unorthodox things in the Hall of Fame.

Speaker 3 Like, they should induct a NFL.

Speaker 6 They should induct a football into the Hall of Fame.

Speaker 3 I think there is one.

Speaker 6 No, but it should have a bust.

Speaker 6 They should make a bust of the NFL football, the Duke, put it behind the podium for five minutes, silence, have everybody stare at it, put a gold jacket on it, and walk it off stage.

Speaker 3 So, Julian Edelman, in the playoffs, he had 118 receptions, 144,

Speaker 3 or sorry, 1,442 yards in 19 playoff games.

Speaker 3 And then, if you actually take it where he was like a featured wide receiver, it was 14 games and it was 1,200 yards plus 109 receptions, which is an incredible season if it was a regular season.

Speaker 3 That's the playoffs, and it's 14 games.

Speaker 3 He's an all-time playoff player.

Speaker 6 That's just a fact. You know what he is? That guy's just a football player.
Yeah, he is.

Speaker 3 Do you think we have a bias? Do you think the Hall of Fame, here's a real question.

Speaker 3 Does the Hall of Fame have a bias towards a position like slot receiver because it's similar to like a nose tackle who doesn't get the sacks.

Speaker 3 Like he doesn't, you know, he doesn't actually get the sacks or the forced fumbles. He's, you know, impacting the game's another way.

Speaker 3 A slot receiver might not have all the receiving yards or all the touchdowns, but he's impacting the game in another way.

Speaker 6 Yeah, so I think that that's definitely a thing.

Speaker 6 I think that they should probably break it down into positions at some point in the future where you have a certain number of positions that get in at any given time.

Speaker 3 Like Art Monk.

Speaker 6 Art Monk didn't get into the Hall of Fame for like 15 years, and he was in the top five for almost every single category because you get these log jams that come up.

Speaker 3 I just love that this is, I mean, it's, again, when we have like a lull in sports, it's Hall of Fames and then Super Teams. That's the way we do it.

Speaker 6 Oh, I'm ready for a load management debate, too. We haven't had that in a while.

Speaker 7 Who's doing it? No, I'm just ready.

Speaker 3 That's the next one up.

Speaker 3 For sure.

Speaker 6 Like the Kyrie stuff?

Speaker 3 Yeah, towards the end of the day. We're getting close.
Yes, towards the end of the season, we always get the load management debates going. All right, so wait, is is he Hank? Is he a Hall of Famer?

Speaker 3 As far as I'm concerned, yes. There we go.
That's wonderful. I found you somebody.

Speaker 6 He is. You know what? He's a Hall of Fame human being.

Speaker 3 There we go. Better human being than football player.

Speaker 6 I don't even want to diminish his capacity as just a person by even talking about the stuff he did on the football field.

Speaker 3 Yes. Billy? You can't measure the value in the games he won the way that stats portray him.
The best argument

Speaker 3 should be in the Hall of Fame. Yeah, the best argument that Julian Edelman has and Eli Manning is you can't tell the story of football without those guys.

Speaker 6 I love that argument, too.

Speaker 3 That's great, yeah. Because you can't tell the story of the of the Falcons Super Bowl without Julian Edelman.
You can't tell the story of Tom Brady's career without Eli Manning.

Speaker 3 So that's, if you, if anyone who is trying to argue this, use that and there's no, there's no comeback.

Speaker 6 No, because it makes you feel warm. It makes you feel nostalgic about the game.

Speaker 3 Yeah. You can't tell the story of football without Julian Edelman.

Speaker 6 Who do you think would induct the football? I feel like John Madden would give a great introductory speech for a football. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that would be good. Bill Belichick would be good for the football, too.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 He probably knows some weird shit about footballs that nobody else does. Absolutely.
Like how to take the air out of him.

Speaker 3 The clip that was resurfacing from Edelman's first, like when he got his first touchdown, punt return touchdown, because Welker was injured, and he just walks up to him on the sideline and is like, you ever heard of Wally Pip?

Speaker 3 That's going to be you.

Speaker 3 Wait, did Edelman say that? Or did Bill Belichick? Belichick said it to Welker. And Welker was like, oh, that little guy, like, for the pun returns? He's like, I don't want it.

Speaker 3 And then Beljak, way to compete. He's like, way to compete.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 And he had that pre-loaded, too. You heard him on the mic talking to Ernie Adams upstairs.
He goes, Ernie, what was the guy's name that played before Mickey Manle did?

Speaker 6 Then he went over to Welker, said that, and Welker was like,

Speaker 3 I don't know if I know Wally Pippen.

Speaker 6 He was like, yeah, he's the guy that played right before Mickey Manle got in.

Speaker 3 It is.

Speaker 3 I mean, sorry, Lou Garrett Marshall. That's the thing.

Speaker 3 Like I was saying, the argument that happens because of the Hall of Fame debate diminishes how crazy Julian Edelman's story is in the NFL.

Speaker 3 Being a seventh rounder, being a punt returner, ending up being Tom Brady's number one safety blanket.

Speaker 6 It's crazy. And he's just got so many cool plays.

Speaker 3 He's got so many cool plays.

Speaker 6 He's got, you know what he has? Signature plays. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 He's got high moments.

Speaker 3 He's not a receiver. He's a versatile football player.
There we go.

Speaker 6 Well, I know it's not a G word. Offensive utility player.
He is an offensive weapon.

Speaker 3 We haven't taped Bill Burr yet.

Speaker 6 We should definitely ask him. We'll get into it in the big shit.

Speaker 6 He might be the one.

Speaker 3 He could be. He could be the one we're going to do.

Speaker 6 Knowing a little bit about Bill, I think that this might be a hill he'll die on. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah. I just, someone find me the guy.
Because he is an agent of chaos. He just

Speaker 3 gave him Twitter.

Speaker 6 A lot of people, it wasn't one person that did it. I know what you're saying because there's not like one person

Speaker 6 outside of Skip Bayless that's saying, and I think that Skip probably waited to see which way the wind was blowing. He's like, I'm going to go the other way because I'm Skip.
Right.

Speaker 6 But it was a conversation that's been happening for the last two years.

Speaker 3 I know that. It's waiting for it.
It's like, yeah, like a brush fire. Yeah.
I just, I oftentimes

Speaker 3 have tried,

Speaker 3 as we've been on the internet for a very long time now, whenever there's a,

Speaker 3 whenever I see everyone tweeting about one thing, like dunking and being like, this is absolutely correct,

Speaker 3 I try to find out, like, well, who are they arguing with? And if it's no one, it makes me so angry.

Speaker 3 Like, you guys are just getting free points for nothing.

Speaker 6 Listen, I'm agreeing with you 100% on that, but I think in this case, it's a little bit different.

Speaker 3 I got to find the person. Someone produced the person.

Speaker 3 All right.

Speaker 3 We also have news that Sean Payton is being

Speaker 3 put into, or it's a movie about Sean Payton's 2012 year with Kevin James playing the role of Sean Payton, which is, now makes this the movie of whatever summer comes out.

Speaker 6 I'm very excited for it. And I would like to be cast as an extra in the movie.
Yes.

Speaker 3 Just put that out there now. And we thought about who we would put in the movie for the rest of the roles.

Speaker 3 Now, I think Kevin James, once Kevin James is the lead, it just opens up the entire casting where you can just take as many risks as you want. Anybody.

Speaker 3 Kevin James is such a good actor that it covers up everyone else's faults. Right.

Speaker 6 I had a list of people that are strictly from 90s sitcoms.

Speaker 3 Okay, I have some of the names too.

Speaker 6 So let's talk Greg Williams. He has to be in the movie, right?

Speaker 3 He has got a big role.

Speaker 6 So you could either go with Big Pussy, the rat, okay, or you could go with Brad Garrett from Everybody Loves Raymond, or this is the one I think I like, Ted Danson.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 3 I was thinking we get a little something off of the space jam and pick up someone who got cut, Pepe LePew.

Speaker 3 I like that. Chunk hair, a guy who everyone hates now.

Speaker 3 Stan Soul.

Speaker 6 Never takes his foot off the gas.

Speaker 3 Yeah, never takes his foot off the gas. Yeah, he's never heard like he has his set way, and he's going to keep doing it that way.

Speaker 3 So I think you have a little bit of animation in the movie, and you have Pepe LePie play Greg Williams.

Speaker 6 That could be good.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I'm on board with that. We all hate him.

Speaker 6 Okay, here's one that I think you guys will like. Mr.
Belding is going to play Ed Werter.

Speaker 3 Ooh, okay, so who's going to play?

Speaker 3 Mr. Belding

Speaker 3 beefed up

Speaker 3 post-save by Belding. We've got biggest filter? Yeah.

Speaker 6 Oh, yeah. We'll put him on the diet.
We'll get him. Billy will spend a week with him.
He'll slim down. What

Speaker 3 a month. I like that.
What about Roger Goodell? That's a good question. Mr.
Feeney? So, Mr.

Speaker 6 Feeney would be great as Roger Goodell. I also think that Newman, Newman, good choice.

Speaker 6 The guy from the Americans, the guy that played the FBI agent from the Americans, I forget the guy's name, but he looks like Roger Goodell. Okay.

Speaker 6 What's his name? Frasier. Kelsey Grammer.
Yeah. Kelsey Grammer as Roger Goodell could work together.

Speaker 3 I was thinking about Ravenport.

Speaker 3 Which one? Goodell. Oh.
Oh,

Speaker 3 ha ha. I was thinking some outside-the-box

Speaker 3 casting. I think we should have Darren Sharper in this movie, who's in jail right now.

Speaker 6 Hope so.

Speaker 3 Definitely in jail right now. As far as we know.
We should make Peter King play Darren Sharper. Yeah.

Speaker 3 He thinks that he's a Hall of Famer, but we should make Peter King play Darren Sharper, and

Speaker 3 that's Peter King's cross to bear.

Speaker 7 I like that.

Speaker 6 We could have Screech as Ian Rappaport.

Speaker 3 Okay. I like that.
Oh, I have

Speaker 3 what? Screech is dead. Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 6 Screech is is dead. That's fine.
He's very dead. We'll reanimate him.
Big dead. Hologram Screech.

Speaker 3 I was thinking for Drew Brees, something age-appropriate, Clint Eastwood. Mm-hmm.
Okay. I like that.

Speaker 3 Or we could have him be

Speaker 3 Will Farrell, but it's Will Farrell when he's Ricky Bobby, but only when Ricky Bobby thinks he's paralyzed. Okay, I like that.

Speaker 3 I like that.

Speaker 6 You could have Millie Bobby Brown play his daughter, and she gets a bloody nose because she's so mad that she's not allowed to play football.

Speaker 3 And then the Saints start

Speaker 3 winning games out of nowhere. Yeah.

Speaker 6 She's controlling it with her brain.

Speaker 3 I was thinking who would play Aaron Cromer, who was one of the coaches for the Saints, who I hate forever because he was part of the Tressman Bears. And remember, he punched a kid on the beach?

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 3 So maybe it's just Aaron Cromer plays Aaron Cromer.

Speaker 6 I don't think that he'd let anybody else play him.

Speaker 6 Let's see what else I have here. I had one more.
Oh, yeah. Dr.
Nick Riviera as the team physician. I like it.

Speaker 3 I like it. That's perfect.

Speaker 6 That is perfect. Will Smith as Will Smith?

Speaker 3 Yep.

Speaker 3 Oh, I had Will Smith as, oh, I had Carlton Banks as Jonathan Vilma.

Speaker 6 That's good. Yeah.
I like that. And then I had

Speaker 6 in the scene where Sean Payton, he's taking that year off, so he's spending all his time watching film Stealing the Eagles trick kickoff play.

Speaker 3 Doing CrossFit.

Speaker 6 Yeah, so you remember that play

Speaker 6 that he stole from the Eagles? Riley Cooper played by Michael Richards.

Speaker 3 Ooh, perfect. There it is.
Typecast. Yes, that is perfect.
I'm so excited for this movie.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I don't want to burst your guys' bubble too much because I know this was a fun project for you guys, but I think the movie is based off of the season that came after the bounty season. Correct.

Speaker 3 That's what I was saying. Focusing on.
That's why Aaron Cromer. No, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 6 When he was coaching his son's sixth grade,

Speaker 3 that's why

Speaker 6 he spends the entire time watching.

Speaker 3 Well, there's got to be a lead up.

Speaker 3 Yeah, there's got to be a lead up. My guess is that it's going to be like...

Speaker 3 Oh, it's going to be like a Disney movie where he's just coaching the kids. Right.
So Rick Moranis should be in it. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Actually, we'll keep him away from Aaron Cromer. Like, I don't think they're going to be, I don't think Greg Williams will be making an appearance in this movie.

Speaker 3 Maybe he will.

Speaker 6 If Sean Payton has anything to say about it, I think Greg Williams will play it.

Speaker 3 Oh, he'll take it the heat of it. Yes.
Yes.

Speaker 6 This will probably just be like 90 minutes of anti-Greg Williams propaganda, which, I mean, I would

Speaker 6 hats off to Sean Payton if he's that petty to make a movie about himself that's just taking his shit on his biggest enemies. We think that he is.

Speaker 3 We should get, yeah, so we'll make a movie poster with some of our casting decisions. Oh, man.
Yeah, the CrossFit years for Sean Payton.

Speaker 3 Didn't like all the Saints get injured when he came back? They had like back injuries. He was like, hey, we're going to do CrossFit.

Speaker 6 Because he got inducted into the cult. AC Slater, Mario Lopez, plays the CrossFit instructor.

Speaker 3 Yes. That's perfect.
That is perfect.

Speaker 6 We got to work out a role for you, Billy.

Speaker 3 Billy?

Speaker 3 Assistant.

Speaker 6 Just assistant coach. Assistant.
Assistant.

Speaker 7 Pop Warner team?

Speaker 6 Just assistant. I think it's a high school coach.

Speaker 3 It's Pop Warner. It's like sixth grade.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah, his kid was young.

Speaker 6 We might be a little too cool.

Speaker 3 We need to have Jerry Jones. Jerry Jones should be Jerry Jones.

Speaker 6 Yes.

Speaker 6 Lying in on the play.

Speaker 3 Well, no, because I think he was coaching his kid in Texas. So Jerry Jones is probably watching being like, I want that.
Oh, you guys would be great dads on the sidelines.

Speaker 3 Just like Keena Gallery type of stuff. Screaming.
Yeah. That's good.
I like that.

Speaker 6 You could be a kicker.

Speaker 3 I was going to say, I think.

Speaker 3 you'd be actually a good role for you, Big Cat, with drop off your kid to the coach and then make a quick bounty joke. Ah.
And then, you know, kind of walk away.

Speaker 3 Like, hey, you know.

Speaker 3 You'd throw him maybe some paper towels and be like, hey, kids, you need a cleanup. Here's the bounty.
Yeah. Aha.

Speaker 6 I could play your kid. Yeah, and you kicked.
You dropped me off. I'm the kicker, yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah. I like that.
Okay, we're good to go. Let us know if you want us to help with this movie, whoever's making it.

Speaker 3 All right, should we do hot seat, cool throw and then we'll get to Bill Burr.

Speaker 3 And we got FAQs, and uh we have a horse stable now with spider uh hank hot seat cool throne uh my hot seat is shannon sharp you alluded to it earlier with kevin durant this is how it started uh he basically got duped by one of these like fake instagram accounts that posts post quotes that you think are real but aren't real uh and then he ran with it on his you know nationally broadcast show He said, the quote that he said, which isn't true, Kevin Durant never said this, but if you put it on a quote card, it seems legit.

Speaker 3 This is a quote card that said it was from Kevin Durant. Said, if LeBron James is the goat and I beat the goat two times and hit all the shots in his face, what does that make me?

Speaker 3 Wait, so he never said that, Kevin Durant never said that. And Shannon Sharp is saying that he said that.
Yes, that's how the debate started. He said that he's like, Kevin Durant said this.

Speaker 3 The lull, the lull time. We're in a low period.
Right. And then Kevin Durant obviously went on Twitter and was like, I never said this.
Like, what are we talking about here?

Speaker 3 And then Shannon Sharp blocked him and, you know, it's gone, gone silent. So good for KD.

Speaker 6 Great for KD. If you see Cap, say Cap.
And he called him out.

Speaker 3 Yeah. You guys like that?

Speaker 6 Cap is, by the way, Cap's strong right now.

Speaker 3 Yeah,

Speaker 3 in a way, it is, but not in the way that you're talking.

Speaker 6 No, it's back. It's back big time.
You brought the dad back. I brought Cap back.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 6 Cap's here. It's not going anywhere, and you're capping right now.

Speaker 3 Yeah, no, no.

Speaker 3 The cab was definitely capping.

Speaker 3 There's no doubt about it.

Speaker 6 Yeah, so the cap was cap, but it's fun to say.

Speaker 3 Yeah, you love it. No, listen, you do you.
I'm not going to cap. Is that, did I even do use that right?

Speaker 6 It sounds like you're capping about not capping.

Speaker 3 I remove myself from the cap conversation.

Speaker 6 Capping the hat.

Speaker 3 I don't want to be in the cap. I don't know.

Speaker 6 I can't figure it out.

Speaker 3 You are still a big cap. I'm of the age now where I'm happy to say when I don't understand anything, and I can just say, you guys have fun.

Speaker 6 I do think it's funny, though, that for two separate reasons, Kevin Durant and Michael Rappaport have been heavily featured on Undisputed in the last week.

Speaker 3 Yes, yes, big time. Get them together.
Get the gang back together.

Speaker 6 You know what? Let's keep it going, though, because I do

Speaker 6 like Shannon Sharp reading these fake quote boards and taking them as gospel. So just send Shannon Sharp fake quotes about every athlete.
Yes. It's in the news site.

Speaker 6 I'm down to see how much he falls for.

Speaker 3 Yes. Then my cool throne is mystery flights.
Ooh. Do you guys hear about this? Did you see this? Did you read about this? I did not.

Speaker 3 So this is a tweet I saw today. It says, mystery flights are the next big thing.
Qantas is the latest airline to offer

Speaker 3 flights to undisclosed locations, providing passengers with clues about what to pack and teasing itineraries by the airline. Would you ever book a mystery flight? I mean, that's basically

Speaker 3 that. That's funny, yeah.

Speaker 6 That's flying on Spirit Air. Yeah, that's funny.
You don't know if you're going to land. It's actually more thrilling.

Speaker 3 I'd be down for mystery flights, but the problem with this idea is I bet you it's all like cool places. They need to throw in,

Speaker 3 like, and now I think this place is cool, but like, it should be like Fiji, Paris, France, Youngstown, Ohio. And it's like, you mystery flight.
That would be cool. I'd be down.

Speaker 3 And I would rather go to Youngstown than the other two places.

Speaker 6 Because you do need a little element of danger in it. Right, exactly.
Otherwise, it's all fun and games. Right.
Where are you going to land?

Speaker 6 Is it going to be on the Good Bahama Island or the Firefest Island?

Speaker 3 Yeah, like Bermuda. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Imagine if you want to just go to Firefest.

Speaker 3 Firefest, yeah. I was thinking of another island out there.

Speaker 6 Oh. Don't want to land.
Don't want to land there. Check the logs.
Yes.

Speaker 3 But yeah, it would be funny if it was just the total gamut. Like, you can go to Cancun, you can go to Hawaii, or you can go to Duluth, Minnesota in the middle of winter.

Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 You're going to do it? Yeah, I'm down. I mean, if I can take time off.
Well, why don't we just do it ourselves? Why don't we just spin a globe and send you somewhere?

Speaker 6 What about Grit Week? Mystery Flight. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Just spin the globe. We spin the globe and we put you on a flight somewhere.
I'll go with you. Okay.
It would actually be pretty fun. Yeah.
You want to do it? Sure. Somewhere in the U.S.

Speaker 3 Worldwide, Mr. Worldwide.
Do you a weekend?

Speaker 6 Do the flights leave from the U.S.?

Speaker 3 Oh, just a weekend?

Speaker 6 Qantas, I think.

Speaker 3 Yeah, you're not going for a full airline.

Speaker 6 Overseas airline, isn't it?

Speaker 3 Well, it's content. Yeah, that's true.
It is content.

Speaker 3 Billy would just show up to the airport with like six cases of Coors Light. Be like, what, was I not supposed to do that?

Speaker 6 It'd also be hilarious if you got on the flight and the mystery flight was once it takes off, Mystery, the pickup artist, just came and stole everybody's girl.

Speaker 3 Yes.

Speaker 6 he's got 40 magic fucked his wife fucked your wife in front of you i like that uh all right pfd your hot seat cool to write okay my hot seat is jimmy graham jimmy graham is on the hot seat my washington football team just signed a collegiate basketball player to play tight end he's never played football before i saw this his name is samus reyes great name that is a great name shady reyes he's 6'6

Speaker 6 260, runs a 4'6'5. He's Nino Gronk.
He's the baby Gronk, the next baby Gronk, and he's from Chile, too.

Speaker 3 Adam Shaheen is the next baby Gronk.

Speaker 6 He played at Tulane, and this is a guy that immediately, in my mind, he's already a Hall of Famer. It's like this guy is going to be the diamond in the rough that turns around the entire franchise.

Speaker 3 More of a Hall of Famer than Julian Edelman.

Speaker 6 Right now,

Speaker 3 the odds are about equal in my brain.

Speaker 6 But every franchise, every fan has to have that guy that they signed, that they put all the hopes on because there's this air of mystery behind them.

Speaker 6 yes and right now this is my guy he seems cool he seems like i saw him catch passes and shorts done and then drop them done i'm all in done uh my cool throne is bills mafia yeah bills mafia they just announced today congratulations buffalo bills fans it's gonna be full house next year

Speaker 6 you're gonna have to be vaccinated but it's gonna be full house i actually think that just spending time in buffalo attending bills games if you can show that you've attended 30 bills games in your life you're probably immune to every disease known to man.

Speaker 3 They should give a vaccine. They should have the vaccine out of Pinto Ron's bowling ball.
Out of the bowling ball? You just drink it.

Speaker 3 Everyone in Buffalo would be vaccinated yesterday.

Speaker 6 You just fill up a ketchup bottle, have somebody stand on top of a van and squirt it down on you.

Speaker 6 I think that they would, yes, it would absolutely 100% work. Make sure to wipe your dildos off with sanitizing wipes before you throw them.
But I'm very excited.

Speaker 6 We saw, I think it was like 20,000 Bills fans in the stands for the playoffs this year. It sounded like it.
It felt like a full house.

Speaker 7 Yes.

Speaker 6 So I'm very pumped for Bills fans.

Speaker 3 All right, my hot seat is our Nuggets. Remember we were at Nuggets podcast last year? For like a minute? Mm-hmm.

Speaker 3 So Jamal Murray tours ACL. Yeah, it sucks.
So the Nuggets are cooked. And that does suck because

Speaker 3 they actually were like one of those teams. Like, oh, maybe if they get a nice run going,

Speaker 3 makes it a little bit easier for LeBron. Makes me a little more bummed out.
I also just love Jokic, so that sucks.

Speaker 6 So we're going to be Jazz fans now? Same team.

Speaker 3 We got to figure out. Yeah, I don't know who

Speaker 3 in the West do we root for Blazers.

Speaker 6 The Blazers. They technically swept the Lakers last year.

Speaker 3 Yeah, the Blazers. I don't know.

Speaker 3 We can't be Clippers. Fuck the Clippers, right?

Speaker 6 I'm going to cast my lot with the Blazers. I like Dames.

Speaker 6 I like CJ. Yeah, I just,

Speaker 3 I love CJ, and I love how the Blazers play, but I I just don't know. Ooh, we could be Suns guys.

Speaker 6 Suns, yeah.

Speaker 3 Suns guys, Frank Kaminski. We could be Suns guys.
That might be team bonding.

Speaker 3 We need to find out because the Nuggets were definitely the team that we were going to probably root for to beat the Lakers. Now we have to find a new team.
So this is going to be tough.

Speaker 6 I'm okay with jumping on the Suns bandwagon.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I think that because also the jerseys are sick. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Reminds you of the old days, Dan Marley.

Speaker 3 Yeah, we Kevin Johnson. Much like the Suns, we routinely, as a podcast, get our dicks sucked together.

Speaker 3 Like all these things.

Speaker 6 That's our pregame routine. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Right, Jake?

Speaker 3 Of course. Oh!

Speaker 6 Okay. Did Jake know what he just said, of course?

Speaker 3 I don't think he was listening.

Speaker 5 I was listening to the Suns.

Speaker 6 Yeah, you don't know what you just said.

Speaker 3 You don't know what you just said, okay, Jake.

Speaker 3 Oh, my God.

Speaker 6 You're going to have to clip that.

Speaker 3 You have no idea?

Speaker 6 Pretty much the worst thing you could do.

Speaker 5 It's looking at backup Hotsu Cool Thrones because I know I'm last in line, so I was kind of all over the place.

Speaker 3 Well, it's not the only time you're last in line, if you know what I'm saying, what we're talking about.

Speaker 3 Of course,

Speaker 3 oh,

Speaker 3 Jake! Oh, fuck! All right, my cool throne is baseball because we do officially, I'm ready to call it Ronald Lacuna, fully the face-off. Face of baseball already, and maybe so.

Speaker 3 I think Ronald Acuna is the face. I think Shohei Otani, I don't know what he would be, the ass, the forearms, the probably the arms, the arms

Speaker 3 of baseball.

Speaker 6 Juan Soto, probably the quads.

Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah. Quads of baseball.
I just think Ronald Lacuna, like, did you see what he did? So he did obviously

Speaker 3 on Sunday when he beat out the very routine infield hit to shortstop. And then last night he scored tagging up from third on a pop-up to the second baseman in like shallow outfield.

Speaker 6 Yeah, was that the in that wasn't the infield fly rule, right?

Speaker 3 No.

Speaker 6 No, no, no. Yeah, it was was pretty sweet.
It was awesome. The dude is insanely fast.
He's he's everything that I was told Billy Hamilton would be.

Speaker 3 And he's doing the

Speaker 3 like he's he fucks around with guys, you know, like hits them in the nuts, hits them in the face, hits them.

Speaker 3 We need, that's part of it. So have fun.

Speaker 6 I think it also matters the uniform that he's wearing. When he's wearing the throwback that Hank Aaron was,

Speaker 6 at that point, he is the face of baseball. When he's wearing the normal Braves uniform, I don't know.

Speaker 6 And I grew up watching the Braves and loving the Braves when I was like a little kid and they were were always on TBS. So I always have a soft spot for those like mid-early 90s Braves.

Speaker 6 But those jerseys, it's tough to be the face of baseball in those jerseys for whatever reason.

Speaker 3 And he also has, which I love.

Speaker 3 If I were in Major League Baseball, I would always have this, the sliding mitt. I fucking love the sliding mitt.
It's got to give you an extra, what, like two or three inches?

Speaker 6 I was going to say it's probably like a full second. It's crazy.

Speaker 6 No, it not only protects you and lets you reach out further, I think it actually makes you faster.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's awesome. I love the sliding mid.
All right, Billy, hot seat, cool throne.

Speaker 3 My hot seat, humans. There was like a real-life black mirror episode with a robot running around New York that was like working for the government.
What?

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 6 It's a cop robot.

Speaker 3 Yeah, cop robot. What? Yeah, robo-cop.
Robot dog. Yeah.
Robo dog cop. Do you respect that robot? What would you do if you saw that robot? I'm not down with robots.
Okay. Yeah.
Interesting.

Speaker 3 Even if he's wearing the badge. Big corporation.
My cool throne is

Speaker 3 Heinz Ward.

Speaker 6 Are you saying all canines are bad?

Speaker 3 No, just the Robo ones.

Speaker 3 Wow. Heinz Ward, Cool Throne, because now I think he's going to end up getting into the Hall of Fame.
He gets a boost, yeah. Yeah, he gets a boost.

Speaker 3 And then my other cool throne is Shaq, because he bought a dude an engagement ring

Speaker 3 in a jeweler. And

Speaker 3 doesn't that mean that technically Shaq's marrying the...

Speaker 3 Because he walked away. I don't know.
I don't think so. Maybe.
I don't think that's how it works.

Speaker 6 Julio Urius, he should be the chin of baseball.

Speaker 3 Ooh, I like that. I like that.
Max Scherzer's the eyes. Yep.

Speaker 3 All right. That was good, Billy.

Speaker 3 Thank you. All right, Jake.
Last as always.

Speaker 3 Slurping up, getting slurped last. Of course.
The hot seat is the.

Speaker 3 You still don't know. No.

Speaker 5 Damn. I wasn't listening.
I'll be honest. People are going to.

Speaker 3 You thought that was the same thing. I wanted to talk about blind people last week was bad.

Speaker 6 I want to share what you said, but I think it's better if you find out for yourself tomorrow.

Speaker 6 You need a whole night to think the worst things, and then it's going to be twice as worse as what you think.

Speaker 3 Yep. I'll be all right.
You do go last, though.

Speaker 3 Hot.

Speaker 3 Hot or no?

Speaker 5 Hot seat is the Arkansas Pine Bluff women's softball team.

Speaker 3 It's a good thing you looked up backups. I was going to say, that was my fuck.

Speaker 3 I had that reason. North Texas women's softball.

Speaker 5 Hope Trout won. Threw a perfect game, all 21 strikeouts.
First time in college history.

Speaker 3 Okay, that's sick. Pretty cool.

Speaker 5 Good job, Jake. And then Cool Throne.

Speaker 3 You want to see Jenny Finch. Yeah.
Yeah. Big time.

Speaker 5 Cool Throne are fans of Sweet Life of Zach and Cody and Home Alone because Macaulay Culkin and London Tipton had a kid.

Speaker 3 Whoa.

Speaker 5 Briended the song.

Speaker 3 Jake, are you finished?

Speaker 3 Complete. Okay,

Speaker 3 nice.

Speaker 3 This is the best episode ever. I've never wanted to end.
I want to stay inside of this episode.

Speaker 6 I just accidentally spit some of the water instead of swallowed it.

Speaker 3 Was that good for you, Jake?

Speaker 3 Just answer it. Was it? Of course.
Okay, yeah, nice. You want a cigarette?

Speaker 6 Never.

Speaker 3 Disgusting. A little less stressed now that you were able to get those last two hot sequel drones? Yep.
Yeah. I could feel it.
I could see it in your face.

Speaker 3 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 5 Sometimes you just got to throw out the blueprint and just

Speaker 3 bring one to put your hands behind your back.

Speaker 3 just you know what you just open your mouth and you see what comes out let it let it go kind of catching on here but yeah yeah okay um all right let's get to our interview with bill burr before we do that pft you had a quick word from our friends at

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And now, here he is, Bill Burr.

Speaker 3 Okay, we now welcome on our very good friend, recurring guest. It is Bill Burr.
He is getting back out on the road. July 2nd, it starts.

Speaker 3 Finally, we have comedians returning to all of the arenas and places where we can actually sit and watch comedy. It feels good to be back.
Las Vegas is where it starts.

Speaker 3 It's going all the way to December 30th in Phoenix, Arizona. Indianapolis, Atlanta, Minnesota, Kansas City, Pennsylvania, Atlantic City, all those places on the way.

Speaker 3 It's great to see you, and it's great that we're actually announcing that you're going to be back on the road. I'm so excited that we actually have a little return to normalcy.

Speaker 3 Which stop are you most excited for? Because I know you love arenas and different venues.

Speaker 5 Dude, I'm just so happy to do stand-up inside again. Like, this has been such, like,

Speaker 5 it's, you know, it's been horrible for so many people.

Speaker 5 Obviously, losing jobs and losing loved ones and stuff, but like, the one thing that has been kind of fun is I kind of learned how to do hellrooms again. Like

Speaker 5 I

Speaker 5 had that muscle memory still in me. It took a minute, but like I can like, I did a gig for the comedy store right outside the Rose Bowl.
You know, they got the golf course.

Speaker 5 So they had like 700 cars and you could maybe hear like

Speaker 5 20 people.

Speaker 5 And it's just, and all the headlights were on.

Speaker 5 It was the most bizarre. It was really bizarre.
But I guess, you know, my buddy was walking around and say, everybody in the cars was laughing.

Speaker 5 But that's the kind of thing, like a year ago, whenever the hell this shit started, if I went right from a theater to that, I would have been on my heels. I would have imploded.

Speaker 5 I would have abandoned my act and just done. But I was able to kind of stay in the pocket of it because there was a few people in pickup trucks sitting in the beds of their truck.

Speaker 5 So it's just sort of playing off to them as I just looked into this abyss.

Speaker 3 Did they at least have the courtesy to like flash their high beams at you when they were laughing? Yeah.

Speaker 5 Yeah, they do that. Honking's a bad idea we thought honking was a good thing at first but then it becomes a it's sort of like automotive heckling after a while so yeah

Speaker 3 um

Speaker 5 so i i did a gig down uh hermosa beach recently that was fun like the two days before the friggin clan did their rally down there um which is always you know it's funny how people perceive LA.

Speaker 5 It's just, you know, the idiots in Hollywood are always running their yaps and they have big platforms. So people think that that's what's out here.

Speaker 5 And it's just like 20 minutes from that liberal lunatic is somebody with a clan hood.

Speaker 3 Yeah, you opened for the clan is what you're saying.

Speaker 5 I was sort of on the clan weekend.

Speaker 3 I was. We eased in.

Speaker 5 We eased in. I had sort of the white supremacist Aryan.

Speaker 3 Oh, God.

Speaker 6 I mean, that's also kind of tough for you as

Speaker 3 a...

Speaker 6 fair-skinned individual to be performing outside all year.

Speaker 3 Like, you probably ran through some sunsets. It's at night, though.
It's at night.

Speaker 5 But, yeah,

Speaker 5 it's the reason I don't golf.

Speaker 5 It's the reason I always try to get baseball tickets under an overhang or any sports.

Speaker 5 Yeah, the sun does not like me.

Speaker 3 Have you been to a game since they started letting fans back?

Speaker 3 Because I know you love going to games, and we told this story last time you're on, but pretty much the last game that was normal fans was the LSU Clemson National Championship, where we were sitting

Speaker 3 two rows away from you for the whole entire time without realizing it.

Speaker 5 I know. And if there was pandemic seating, I probably would have seen you as I was walking down the aisle.

Speaker 3 Like, hey, there's big cats. What's up, man?

Speaker 5 Yeah, that's crazy, right? And I can't believe I didn't get it, that I didn't catch COVID, considering right before the S hit the fan there, I was in the superdome, just jam-packed with people.

Speaker 5 So, anyway, I just got the second vaccine shot yesterday.

Speaker 5 Didn't get sick either time. Just had like a sore arm.
Felt a little weird for a couple hours, and then I was good.

Speaker 3 Are you going to do that? I don't know how

Speaker 5 this shit that people are saying about that Johnson and Johnson thing.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 5 I love how six out of a million,

Speaker 5 six out of a million, and people freak out, but they still play the lottery. Like they like those odds.
They'll still vape.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 5 I mean, cigar smokers, they're like, yeah, you know, you're not inhaling it. You're fine.
They're just smoking like two a day.

Speaker 5 You know what it is when they rolled out the, and even then, just because six people got it, you know, uh, had these bleeds or whatever, they still recalled it. Like, that's how safe it is.

Speaker 5 How many crown victorious with the gas station and uh gas tank in the wrong area burned people alive when they got uh rear-ended before they finally moved that thing?

Speaker 5 So, I just want them to be like, From the people that cured polio and every other plague before this, well, yeah,

Speaker 5 people who saved you from your ruptured appendix comes

Speaker 6 yeah you can say that they cured polio but in the same breath you have to mention that the johnson family also owns the jets so not everything that they touch turns to gold true listen if i learn anything in life everybody's a little flawed That's true.

Speaker 3 It is funny that you bring that up because I

Speaker 3 like the initial reaction when I see it, I haven't gotten the vaccine yet, but I was planning on getting Johnson ⁇ Johnson. I'm like, ooh, maybe I won't get that one.

Speaker 3 And then, like, my car, like, two years ago, they sent me something in the mail being like, hey, we recalled the piece. You got to bring it in ASAP.
And I was like, fuck that. I'm not bringing it in.

Speaker 3 I'm just going to keep driving this thing.

Speaker 3 It's very stupid. We are very stupid people.

Speaker 5 Well,

Speaker 5 I am a firm believer that

Speaker 5 there should no longer be 24-hour news networks because just the sheer panic of having to fill up all that time. It's what happened to ESPN.

Speaker 5 When ESPN, ESPN was the dream. Imagine if they had a 24-hour sports network and then they did, and they actually used to show sports and stuff the whole day.

Speaker 5 They would show random stuff during the day from around the world. It was like MTV.
They used to show music, right?

Speaker 5 Then I don't know what happened. They just expanded ESPN to the college one, whatever the hell that one is.

Speaker 5 And then I think with streaming services and the internet, now everybody just has to scream like chicken little and act like the sky is falling over everything.

Speaker 5 That I just find that CNN and Fox News, they should be tried for treason. All they do is divide the locker room.

Speaker 3 When I was a kid,

Speaker 5 yeah, Republicans and Democrats could, you know, have

Speaker 5 debates, but

Speaker 5 it didn't go the way it's going now. I mean, it's just, it's insane.

Speaker 3 Do you know what happened at ESPN? Magnus von Magnusson retired because I remember that was always the thing.

Speaker 3 The world's strongest men, they would put on world's strongest men for like 10 hours a day, all day during the day. And that was the best.
You just watched.

Speaker 5 Did they have pool sharks on? Yeah, you just went to Minnesota Fats and Willie Moscone. I love that stuff.

Speaker 3 Yeah, you just watch a fucking huge ass dude lift a rock and put it up on like a, you know, a pedestal. And that's way better than a debate show that debates the same thing over and over.

Speaker 5 They also had

Speaker 5 sort of weird aerobic shows. Yes.
During the day, there was a guy I remember with black curly hair. He'd be on the beach.

Speaker 5 And then there was one.

Speaker 3 Body shaping. I was gonna say, like,

Speaker 5 yeah, body shaping, and then it was like one of those Brooke Burke type chicks, like the hot chick doing the

Speaker 5 you just sit there, like eating chips, just watching her doing

Speaker 3 an aerobic shit.

Speaker 6 That was my first experience being horny. Yeah, I was like five years old watching body shaping before kindergarten.
I was like, I don't know why, but I really like this show.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I'm a body shaper.

Speaker 6 You know where they really lost their way?

Speaker 6 Yeah, they lost their way when they canceled Playmakers. Did you ever watch Playmakers?

Speaker 5 I vaguely remember remember that. I just used to like to watch the games and then I loved Sports Center and I loved when they would throw their jokes in and,

Speaker 5 you know, Berman, of course, with all the nicknames and stuff. It was sort of like right through the 90s, sort of mid-90s, the 80s into the 90s, it was unbelievable.
It was the greatest channel.

Speaker 5 I would watch Sports Center on a loop. I would watch the same one like five times in a row, like my favorite episode of Seinfeld.

Speaker 3 Well, and it would, it ruined it. The thing that really ruined it, and it's not ESPN's fault, is that you basically can get all the highlights right away.
Because

Speaker 3 we were kind of talking about the same thing, but like as children of the 90s, PFT and I, Sports Center was like, oh, I want to watch the highlight. You can't, there's no package.

Speaker 3 You don't get to watch every game. You watch Sports Center, you get to see everything.
It was appointment television for that exact reason.

Speaker 5 Yeah, and ESPN killed the This Week in Baseball type shows. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Because for the most part, all you would get as a Boston fan, I'd get the Red Sox and maybe some game that mattered if we went to race with the Yankees or the Brewers when they were in our division back in the day.

Speaker 5 You get a little bit of those highlights. But like, I used to watch like inside the NFL.

Speaker 3 Yeah, inside stuff. NBA inside stuff with their mindset.

Speaker 5 Tired stuff. This week in baseball.
Then hockey's always like the ugly duckling. Like they kept trying to have like, you know, those.

Speaker 5 I'm sure they had them up in Canada.

Speaker 5 And I remember how insane it was. Like when I first started doing the road,

Speaker 5 I used to sit mainly in the outfield because most of the highlights that Mel Allen was showing were home runs. Like when I went to the Kingdome, I remember how they used to hit a home run.

Speaker 3 You see those people running along that little aisle

Speaker 5 that ran parallel to the outfield? I was like, I want to do that. Like Ken Griffey Jr.
was still in center field back then. So I went to a lot of those ones before they tore him down.

Speaker 5 But anyway, somehow we got to that. That's good, though, in a sports show.
They went from the vaccine to talking about the kingdom.

Speaker 6 Are the sports reporters where you had John Saunders, Mitch Album, and like Mike Lupica? Usually, they would just sit around and compete to see who could tell the oldest story. Yeah, like

Speaker 6 who remembers the oldest thing in this room?

Speaker 3 But their opinions were like gospel for some stupid reason.

Speaker 3 It was kind of before anyone, you know, I mean, obviously, I think it's better now that everyone fans are a lot smarter, numbers, all these things.

Speaker 3 But you'd sit there and watch these old guys and be like, yeah, you know what? Like, he, Muhammad Ali, is it's Muhammad Ali number one and Secretariat number two for greatest athletes of all time.

Speaker 5 Do Do you think we're smarter as fans? We definitely have access to more information, but

Speaker 5 the thing is, whatever you're working with is what you're working with. And like, whatever brain you were given.
So if you're a moron, you can read as many books as you want.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 6 I actually think, like, to a certain point, overloading dumb people with a lot of statistics makes them dumber.

Speaker 6 It just makes them more confident in their ideas and their conclusions they were going to reach anyways. Yeah.

Speaker 5 You know what my favorite thing is, is when a dumb person person takes mushrooms and then they, when they, after their trip, they feel like they're smarter and they try to explain the universe to you.

Speaker 5 It's a fun, it's just like, yeah, you, you, you, you're not smarter. You're just a dumb guy that was tripping.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I feel very seen right now.

Speaker 6 Um, you should listen to my podcast.

Speaker 3 I, I think, I think fans are,

Speaker 3 so it's an interesting question because I think fans have more tools, they have more information, but I also think that what's happened with sports, and we talk about this all the time, but you like forget that it's sports and you forget like the human nature of it.

Speaker 3 So it becomes a number. And

Speaker 3 the Alabama UCLA game was a perfect example where we were joking about it.

Speaker 3 You know, we had Nate Oates on before the game and he's talking about how there's a four-point line and they don't, if you shoot a mid-range jump shot in practice, it's only worth one point.

Speaker 3 And then what happens is Alabama. They lose the game on the free throw line, which is a mid-range jumper.
And UCLA hits a bunch of mid-range shots. And it's like, oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 So I think his way probably will work overall. Like, if you do it forever, it will eventually win out.

Speaker 3 But yeah, in a one-game situation, it probably hurt them a little bit that they never practiced mid-range jumpers.

Speaker 5 The fundamentals. That's interesting.
You know, it's funny. I actually,

Speaker 5 my pick to win it all, and I didn't watch any college hoop. I just, I just picked Michigan just because I got used to have family out there, my grandparents.

Speaker 5 So I picked them, and it didn't work out. So I lost money to Verzi, my buddy.
So, he picked Gonzaga, right?

Speaker 5 So, when they were playing Baylor, I saw Meta World Peace, and Meta World Peace gave me the heads up.

Speaker 5 He was doing commentary, and he goes, I feel like in this matchup that Baylor is the hip-hop team and Gonzaga is the rock and roll team. And I was like, I know what that means.

Speaker 3 I know what that means.

Speaker 5 Do not bet on these white boys, even though Gonzaga wasn't really a white team. I knew what he was talking about.
Then, I looked at

Speaker 5 Baylor, and they had like three guys that were built like a young Larry Johnson. I was just like, I've F'd this, and I put like 50 bucks.

Speaker 3 Can you swear on this guy?

Speaker 6 You can't say bitch.

Speaker 3 I was wondering why you said S out of.

Speaker 5 Well, you know what? Half of it is I didn't know, and the other half is I got kids now, and they get on me.

Speaker 6 Yeah, so I was actually going to ask you back, Gonzaga, because I feel like that was a game that probably drew your attention, especially to Timmy, the guy that had the muscle.

Speaker 5 You had to ask me about my green smoothie because I'm an old man.

Speaker 6 No, you're just Hollywood Bill. That was expected.
I was wondering why you weren't drinking your green juice earlier.

Speaker 3 Yeah, we've had you on for so many years that

Speaker 3 we've seen the transition where you gave up drinking like two years ago. We just expect this now.

Speaker 6 You're in your yoga studio right now, which looks lovely.

Speaker 5 7.30 to midnight are the hardest hours of my day.

Speaker 3 But sitting there alone with my own thoughts.

Speaker 6 When it came to Drew Timmy and his mustache, Did you see him doing the stash celebration when they were losing by 15 points?

Speaker 6 Because I watched that, and I actually thought in that moment, if Bill Burr is watching this, he is fucking pissed off right now on his television to see that guy celebrate.

Speaker 5 Celebration.

Speaker 3 Oh,

Speaker 6 he had the Fu Manchu when he dunks, he'll go like this. And they were down by 15 points in the second half, and he was going, he was doing the stash celebration.

Speaker 5 He would probably argue that that gets me into my game. That's part of my ritual, like Nomar with the gloves and stuff.
I don't know.

Speaker 5 I have no idea, but I will say, yeah, that is weird, like wrong, emotional.

Speaker 5 Like, that happens so much in football. Yeah, A corner will, you know, lay out a receiver or something like that or do something.

Speaker 5 After two touchdowns have already been thrown on his side of the field, they're down by like 21. They're not going to win the game.
But they know, I think that they've learned.

Speaker 5 They're Hollywood now. I think athletes are Hollywood.
They know that this is going to be on Sports Center.

Speaker 5 So if I score a bucket or a touchdown, add a little, put a little mustard on it, do a little dance, I got a bigger chance of

Speaker 5 getting a little, I don't know,

Speaker 3 yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 We had this debate on the show today, and we have to ask you, is Julian Edelman a Hall of Famer?

Speaker 5 Oh, God, I can't tell you last time I looked at stats. I will say...

Speaker 3 That's better. That's better.
That's better that you didn't look at stats.

Speaker 5 I'll say this about him.

Speaker 5 Whenever we needed a first down, whenever we needed a big play, somehow that guy got open.

Speaker 5 And I would say that catch that he had

Speaker 5 against Atlanta, where he split those two corners and caught it like an eighth of an inch off the turf. Is I would, I would, sorry, it's my phone.
I would put that arguably,

Speaker 5 you know, one of the greatest Super Bowl catches of all time. I mean, I'm thinking only the Lynn Swan one just because it's a classic degree of difficulty.
Um,

Speaker 3 I mean,

Speaker 5 I look at him like he was on the modern-day Steelers of the 70s, and he was our Swanner Stalworth, and both of those guys are in.

Speaker 5 I know a lot. I don't know what his career numbers are.
I saw them quickly yesterday. I think you'd need at least like,

Speaker 5 what, like five figures in the 10,000s or whatever. But I don't know.
He had a ton of playoff yardage. I don't care, man.
The guys won three. He gave us three Super Bowls.

Speaker 5 I hope he, I put him in there.

Speaker 5 I'm going to canton. I've seen a lot of people in there that I couldn't believe got in there.
So maybe, yeah.

Speaker 3 All right. I mean, I like it.

Speaker 5 If it was baseball, if it's baseball, they're so cunty they wouldn't put him in. But I think he definitely has a shot.

Speaker 5 He's got the James Worthy big game James vibe.

Speaker 3 Yeah, Robert Ore.

Speaker 6 Robert Ore, exactly. He passes the eyeball test.
We were saying earlier,

Speaker 6 he has a lot of moments. He has a lot of signature plays that you remember.
And you can't tell the story of football without telling the story of Julian Edelman. Yeah.

Speaker 5 And did he throw more touchdowns than Walter Payton? That's what I want to know. Ooh.
He also had that. He also had that ability.
Right, probably.

Speaker 3 He did throw a couple at least, right?

Speaker 5 Isn't it amazing that Walter Payton ran for all those yards, never had a major knee injury or anything like that, yet somehow those kangaroo turf shoes went out of business?

Speaker 3 Yes. Yes.
It's true. Because that's like that should be...
Like the, what were the other shoes that someone... The jump soles.
No, no, I'm trying to think of there was someone. Grand Hill.

Speaker 3 Grant Hill almost lost his career wearing Phila yeah yeah he did Derek Rose took took down Adidas for us for a minute there because it was like he kept on getting ankle injuries and he was Adidas like number one athlete and Zion Williamson tanked Nike stock by like three percent yeah according to two years ago when he stepped out of his shoe yes yes single-handedly did that yeah

Speaker 6 bill I I have to tell you, I watched your performance on Saturday Night Live a few months ago, and it was awesome.

Speaker 6 It one of those things where like everybody on the internet felt strongly about it one way or the other.

Speaker 6 And I know that you kind of have to have like a little bit of a chip on your shoulder sometimes when you go on stage because I saw that you made fun of K-pop the other day.

Speaker 6 And when you go at BTS, that's like the worst fan base.

Speaker 5 I don't even know what K-pop is.

Speaker 6 It was like BTS and the Korean pop bands.

Speaker 5 I made fun of them? Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Dude, you gotta understand that making fun of shit is my job. I don't even remember the stuff.

Speaker 5 I don't don't even remember half the stuff that I say. I do a podcast by myself, no guests.
So I just, I'm looking at news and I just make fun of everything.

Speaker 3 Right. No, I get it.

Speaker 6 I'm just saying, like, going after K-pop is, you do have a death wish if you do that. They're by far like the strongest fandom on the show.

Speaker 5 All right, did I go, did I do that recently?

Speaker 6 I think you made like an offhanded remark at the Grammys.

Speaker 3 This is the best because you are

Speaker 3 like kind of impervious. No, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 5 I introduced the Latino and like in classical music.

Speaker 3 Yeah, and you got like the internet tried to cancel you, and you just don't even respond, which I think is the greatest. You actually didn't.

Speaker 5 It was actually a bunch of people who were saying they were sick of cancel culture that was keeping that going.

Speaker 3 So you're trending for the.

Speaker 3 This actually goes back to the Julian Edelman.

Speaker 5 I actually wasn't trending. They were just using me as a way so everybody could talk, act like they had a mohawk, and they don't give a fuck about canceled culture, man.

Speaker 5 I don't pay attention to any of it.

Speaker 5 I tweet about game, I'll tweet if I'm watching a game.

Speaker 3 Yep.

Speaker 5 And I'll,

Speaker 5 you know, I'll write something self-deprecating. But other than that, I don't really post videos.
It just creeps me out when it goes, can we have access to your

Speaker 5 pictures and videos? It's like, forever? Are you going to be like, like, I don't know. I just feel like there's always this fine print to that stuff.

Speaker 3 So, um,

Speaker 5 but you have, you know, know yeah i just i i i know all of that shit because i know where my heart is i'm not really if i really said something malicious and and and meant it like trying to hurt somebody i i would be on social media following it but if it's just

Speaker 5 you know the silliness of that and then then there's a bunch of women on there that are giving like regular rationally minded feminists like my wife a bad name They'll see it, not even know what it is.

Speaker 5 This one woman wrote is the funniest shit ever. She goes, this is why all white white men need to be, white males need to be kept in cages.

Speaker 3 That was one of my favorite.

Speaker 5 And that's just one of those things. It's like, you know, if I said some shit like that.

Speaker 6 Yeah, but that's funny.

Speaker 3 I actually, I think we need to laugh more about shit like that.

Speaker 5 No, I definitely think it's funny, but it's like my thing is the only reason why I'm kind of teasing her a little bit is like if I said that the exact same thing and just substitute out male for female, then I would be,

Speaker 5 she would try to ruin my career. But like,

Speaker 5 I don't know I do find it funny white women talking about like how like acting like they're so oppressed when you you see like they they can really kind of do whatever they want they can kind of say whatever they want because uh

Speaker 5 if you don't fit the narrative yeah like which is essentially what these jerk-offs are paying attention to like you know as they sit there you know we're looking for people that are in positions of power that are abusing abusing it yeah and it's like yeah unless they have a vagina they have a vagina they can kind of do like they can be as big an asshole ever you don't care oh that's not true i have a friend of mine got canceled for a fucking analogy who is that

Speaker 5 i don't want to say the name because i don't like get digging it back up yeah yeah that's

Speaker 5 got it going again i don't want to pick the scab but it's just one of those things like

Speaker 5 I've kind of proven her point here.

Speaker 3 I think, though, that you like, as a whole, we should all just laugh about everything.

Speaker 3 Like, that person, if someone says, oh, yeah, all white men deserve to be in cages, I should be like, that's that's the greatest parody of all time. Like, that's hilarious.

Speaker 5 Dude, when you want to say, like, laughing about stuff, I remember one time speaking of the clan, speaking of the clan, that's a great clip right there. Cut that out.
Bill Bird today.

Speaker 5 Speaking of the clan,

Speaker 5 I remember one time there was this clip on the internet,

Speaker 7 and

Speaker 5 they were marching down the street, and there was some guy walking walking parallel to them along the sidewalk playing a tuba and playing like

Speaker 5 and just made them look like the complete jerk-offs that they are. And it was like,

Speaker 5 I feel like that type of thing

Speaker 5 combats it so much more than yelling and screaming. And I shouldn't even said those fucking jerk-offs because that will get there back up and dig in more.
But like, if you just sort of laughed

Speaker 5 more at stuff like that, I think it's that it just

Speaker 5 you, there's no, like, I mean, no, I don't know.

Speaker 3 I'm probably oversimplifying this. No, no, you're right.

Speaker 6 I think to an extent, it is like a little bit of oversimplification.

Speaker 6 But what you're saying, I think, is true, where it's like, if you see people that you don't like yelling at somebody, there are certain subsets of people that are going to be like, I'm going to join that side because the people I already don't like are mad at them you know they see that as their own whereas if you're just making fun of them it kind of takes all the allure out of anybody wanting to join that side out of like you know being uh like giving a big fuck you to the people they already don't like yeah I think yeah people are really complex and it doesn't take much for people to see something that triggers something from their childhood and then they're just going to be a contrarian for fucking contrarian's sake.

Speaker 5 I will tell you that, you know, they were talking about reparations for African Americans that some state or something was finally doing it. And of course, some white guy has to chime in.

Speaker 5 He goes, Yeah, all they need is a time machine. I just wish I could find that person, like this latest guy, where he's literally dressed in military fatigues.

Speaker 5 We've been doing nothing but blowing the troops for 20 years.

Speaker 5 I support the troops, hooking them up with seats, announcing it. Everybody's supporting the troops.

Speaker 5 And it's just he is in that uniform and he's still treated the way he's just like you don't need a time machine so i wish more people could kind of uh

Speaker 5 uh i don't know there's something about human beings that like we just get on teams it's you know rather than just taking yourself out and just looking at something and being like is this right right is this wrong and like like those white people they go just comply i love that one it's just like they tried that the the the the relationship has been broken down and it's not their fault and they don't trust them.

Speaker 5 And then it just sort of fucking escalates. It's really horrible to watch.
And these fucking white people that chime in and give black people advice as though they're living a white life is,

Speaker 5 you know, that's the kind of shit where you're like, oh, I get why people wouldn't take a vaccine. I understand this.

Speaker 3 We were talking about it on Monday.

Speaker 3 It was something totally different, but we were basically boiling it down to like, if you look at the internet and you look at everyone, every subsect on the internet, it it essentially boils down to people just looking for friends and they just want a community.

Speaker 3 So, if they find someone who has one opinion that's like theirs, they'll hop in and be like, Yeah, this is our opinion now. I do that.
Yeah, we're all

Speaker 3 friends.

Speaker 5 I just exist.

Speaker 5 This is what I look at old trucks, I watch animals killing each other, you know, elk versus bear or whatever. I watch all of that shit.

Speaker 5 I used to watch fight videos, but I just, there's there's just too many sucker punches nowadays.

Speaker 5 I hate that stuff. And then also,

Speaker 5 once a guy's knocked out, the continued hitting, it's just like, come on, you won the fight. It's over.
So, yeah, I exist in a very small part of the internet. And then I watch videos on aviation.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Okay. So you want to talk aviation? Last night I was watching

Speaker 6 some Gulf War fighter, like some dog dogfights that took place there. I don't know what it is about watching those things, but they get my blood going.

Speaker 6 Like, I get amped up if I just watch an airplane take off off of a carrier.

Speaker 5 Well, just think of how scared you get during turbulence on a southwest flight. Now, imagine you're in a plane and somebody's trying to shoot it out of the sky.
Another plane is, I mean, I can't,

Speaker 5 there was a great, this book called Fly Boys.

Speaker 5 And George Herbert Walker, the first Bush, told this story of like, you know, he was like 19, learned how to fly, and he'd go on these missions, knowing every time he might not come back, and you'd come back and your roommate didn't.

Speaker 5 And you had to like block that out. And he was talking about how you would go out,

Speaker 5 you'd get into these fights, drop your bombs or whatever, get into dog fights. And when you came back, he said you'd be so.

Speaker 5 in shock of what just happened. Like he landed one time on an aircraft carrier and one of the higher ups said, how you doing, son? And he opened his mouth and no words came out.

Speaker 5 And he goes, that's all right, son. Go down to sick bay.
And he goes, you go down to sick bay and they give you like two fingers of scotch or three fingers of scotch.

Speaker 5 You take a belt and he goes, the funny thing is, is it worked?

Speaker 5 And it kind of brought you around. And just to think, to just do that once.

Speaker 5 To just do the fact that then the next day he knows that this could happen again and again and again and again. And these guys were 19 years old is

Speaker 5 and then you fast forward today and you see people like, I don't want to wear a mask. I'm breathing my own

Speaker 5 carbon monoxide.

Speaker 5 Carbon dioxide, not monoxide, carbon dioxide.

Speaker 5 It's kind of funny. We've gotten,

Speaker 5 I'm including myself. Like, I'm pretty soft, you know?

Speaker 6 Are you a guy that'll like compliment the pilot on a landing, like casually on the way out the door?

Speaker 6 Because I've always wanted to be that guy, but I'm never confident enough in judging the landing as it happens. So I'm concerned when I go by, it might not not have been a good landing.

Speaker 6 I'm like, hey, nice landing.

Speaker 3 If you didn't die and they didn't break the plane, it's a fucking great landing.

Speaker 5 Because you also don't know what they're dealing with. They can be coming in at the last second.
You know, you ever enough feeling when you're coming in like sideways, they're like cracking.

Speaker 5 And you got like 300 people and your own life on the line. And you just got to, I don't know how they do that.
Last second, they turn it like this. And sometimes they just.

Speaker 5 you know, if the wind changes or something, they gotta, they gotta, uh, I don't mean, I don't know shit about planes, but they gotta, they gotta set it down like hard.

Speaker 5 They don't have the options that a helicopter has.

Speaker 3 We should honestly clap more. I know that it's always ridiculous whenever we land, like, when a plane lands in the middle of the middle.
No clapping. I know.
No, I like to claim.

Speaker 3 I do like the clap more. Why not? It's incredible.

Speaker 3 We land.

Speaker 6 It puts you all on the same team, Bill. You're over here complaining about how nothing's unified anymore.

Speaker 6 When an entire plane gives a round of applause for a safe landing, you feel like you're all in this together.

Speaker 5 All right, fair enough. But I can't, I will tell you this, like douche chills.
I actually also feel it's disrespectful to the pilot that you have. You know what I mean?

Speaker 5 Would you clap if, you know, Jordan was just doing a shoot around?

Speaker 3 Yeah. Yeah, definitely.
What about the end of the movies? Well, I guess we're different that way. Yeah, what about the end of the movies? I'll clap at the end of a movie sometime.

Speaker 5 If it's great.

Speaker 3 I mean, yes.

Speaker 5 If we're in ridiculous turbulence,

Speaker 5 okay, and I think I'm going to die and that guy lands it. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 I'm fucking.

Speaker 3 I'll go nuts. Have you ever clapped at a movie?

Speaker 5 What if it's a sunny fucking day? I mean, let's not get crazy.

Speaker 5 First of all, those fucking guys, by their second turn, they already got it on autopilot after you started, and they're up there shooting the shit. They take naps up there.

Speaker 3 So? Clap for autopilot. Clap for the technology.

Speaker 5 Well, you find me the person that invented it and then the person that installed it. I'll do that.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 6 Have you ever watched those videos where they do the sideways landing into the wind shear? Those videos I feel like you would really enjoy.

Speaker 5 I just watched one recently where a guy got into instrument weather and his pedotube, which is what the air goes into, it controls your altimeter, your vertical airspeed, and your airspeed.

Speaker 5 And he was in the clouds and he forgot to put the heater on because he flies in Texas. He was going across country.
It didn't think to him that he iced it up. So he gets himself into IF

Speaker 5 and he loses all those gauges. And it's the fucking meh alarms going off and he has to remain calm.
Dude, I was sitting there.

Speaker 5 I mean, I knew he lived because it was his video, but I was just sitting there like like my palms were sweating. I don't do well with that.

Speaker 5 And I don't do well with people walking those trapeze people with no net, like that on a wire. Did you ever saw that documentary? Yes.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 5 I mean, I knew he survived, but like, I just was like,

Speaker 5 I wanted to jump out of my own skin watching that shit. So I watch a lot of videos because I'm trying to get my instrument rating right now.
I watch a lot of videos of people,

Speaker 5 you know, flying in instrument weather and stuff. It's really, really fascinating.

Speaker 6 Wait, so when you do get instrument rated and you land a plane with somebody else in it, do you want them to applaud for you?

Speaker 5 No, I fly helicopters, and helicopters aren't rated anyways to fly in instrument weather

Speaker 5 because they're inherently unstable, where a plane is stable. So you'd have to have like a really expensive one that has autopilot for it to get rated.
And

Speaker 5 I'd have to be making Tom Cruise money.

Speaker 6 So what is it about watching videos like that? Because I'm the same way. I don't like heights.
I don't like the Man on Wire documentary.

Speaker 6 I hate watching the Russian bridgewalking videos that are everywhere where they're the

Speaker 5 people who just climb up a structure.

Speaker 6 Yeah, like the 15-year-old kids hanging off.

Speaker 6 I hate it, but I watch them and I hate it while I watch it. What is that, like, what does that say about you that you love watching these videos that you hate?

Speaker 5 No, I don't watch them. I don't watch them.
I watched, I'm not going to watch some kid just hanging off that or jumping from one building to another building.

Speaker 5 I don't want to watch that, but like there was, I never heard the story of that guy on the wire, and it fascinated me. And I said to myself, Well, I know he lives,

Speaker 5 so there's no reason to get nervous. But like, I'm one of those people, like, I don't, I don't go to horror movies because I just buy in.
I take the ride every time they scare the shit out of me.

Speaker 5 Remember when

Speaker 5 biggest one I remember coming up was like Blair Witch.

Speaker 3 And there were so many people like, that movie was dumb.

Speaker 5 That movie didn't scare me at all. I was just like, ah, I saw it alone on the midnight showing after it said at the Laugh Factory and it scared the shit out of me.

Speaker 5 So, yeah, I don't watch shit that I don't like. I don't want to watch.

Speaker 3 See, I'm the opposite. I like to watch the, like, if I know the plane's going to crash, I'll watch it.
I don't know why. That's fucked up of me.
I know it's fucked up of me. But, like, Skydivers.

Speaker 3 I watch those

Speaker 3 videos. Yeah, or Skydivers.

Speaker 5 Like, I don't watch that.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah, I watch it.

Speaker 3 It's probably very fucked up to admit out loud, but like, those things, those obviously I watch more out of like the gawking. And then

Speaker 3 my internet is essentially like if you show me a puke video, I'll laugh no matter what.

Speaker 3 Anytime someone puke. You know what's crazy?

Speaker 5 If you were actually there and you saw a guy skydive and the chute didn't open and he bounced, that would be so fucking traumatic.

Speaker 3 Correct.

Speaker 5 Correct. But you watch it on video.
I have to think that there's a little bit of

Speaker 5 there's always a price to pay.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 5 So, like, I feel like,

Speaker 5 you know, it's like watching porn.

Speaker 5 Like, I probably, you know, watched it almost every day for like 15 years in a row. I know that did psychological damage.
Just because stuff that was like, oh my God, that's fucking horrific.

Speaker 5 The line just keeps getting moved.

Speaker 5 So then you just, I found myself in the end just watching it laughing,

Speaker 5 like looking at like tropes in porn.

Speaker 3 Yeah, no, there's, there's, I read an article a couple, it might have been a couple years ago about the team on Facebook that removes sensitive images and videos and how they all have like legit PTSD.

Speaker 3 Like they have, they, they have psychological issues because they've been watching that stuff constantly. I don't go seek it out.
Let me, let me be on the record here. I don't seek it out.

Speaker 5 Hey, nobody's coming at you.

Speaker 3 No one's coming at me when it's like I'll be watching like a skydive thing and it will be like on Instagram and be like, do you want this sensitive info?

Speaker 3 You know how it has the warning? I always like the warning. Give it to me.
Give it to me. I want it.
Give it to me.

Speaker 5 What I do is then I look at the comments. And if I see one that says, yeah, that dude's dead, I don't watch it.

Speaker 6 That's smart.

Speaker 3 Yeah, see, I usually watch that shit.

Speaker 3 Fuck.

Speaker 6 I used to watch, like, I remember distinctly going on vacation one time, and they had the faces of death videos in the house that we were renting.

Speaker 6 And we put it in, and it was, it was tough to get through.

Speaker 3 It was just hard.

Speaker 6 And I even like to this day, I can remember every single thing that I saw on it. And yeah, it does fuck with you to a certain extent.

Speaker 5 Yeah, we rented that. Before there was a blockbuster, we rented, you know, at the local video store.
We rented one of those. Some of it was bullshit, but a lot of it was like, I gotta think real.

Speaker 5 We thought it was real anyway. It was fucking horrific.
And I remember that night my mother made lasagna, and I almost puked when I saw it.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's with you forever.

Speaker 5 Sauce and meat. I was like, oh, God.

Speaker 3 Oh, man. All right, so.

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Speaker 3 All right, so you mentioned your podcast, which I listened to. Is there, you're just rambling to yourself.
Is there ever a moment where you're like, what am I doing?

Speaker 3 Like, is anyone even recording this? Because you could, at times, you could probably, you could probably just do it forever and never hit record and it would be therapeutic.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I always, yeah, I definitely think,

Speaker 5 yeah, the voices are definitely going, is this funny? Does anybody care?

Speaker 3 There's all of that.

Speaker 3 It's incredible that you're like, I always listen, whenever I listen to someone who does a solo podcast, I'm amazed at their ability to keep the conversation going and not have it feel awkward.

Speaker 3 And I'm like, man, I would like five minutes in, I'd be like,

Speaker 3 who are you talking to?

Speaker 5 But you wouldn't have to do an hour the first time. You just do five.
It's like building a comedy act. You don't just come out like, I have to do an hour.

Speaker 5 You know, just five minutes, seven minutes, nine minutes, 13. You just, next thing you, you know, people, you know, people write, I get to read advertisements.
People write in questions.

Speaker 3 But there's no one in the room. That's the part.
Like, if there was one one person in the room who was looking at you and like laughing or like nodding along, that's at least something.

Speaker 3 There's times when there's just literally you're just talking to yourself.

Speaker 6 So that's what I'm thinking because when I used to do more writing, I would know if I was doing a good job because sometimes I would be able to make myself laugh and take like a little pause.

Speaker 6 If I wasn't making myself laugh, I was like, this sucks.

Speaker 6 But when you're just speaking into a microphone, you don't have that opportunity to just like stop and laugh at yourself or like feel that what you're doing doing is funny so like are there ever

Speaker 5 i laugh if i say something crazy i'll laugh but i also when i upload it i have a tendency to listen to the first 20 minutes almost every time so i kind of get a sense it's almost because i never listen to stand-up sets so it's kind of good i get a sense of my pacing if i'm going too fast if uh there's things that i felt uh

Speaker 5 you know if i was in a bad mood and something oh man that sounds worse than the way i was thinking it which is something you really have to watch out for,

Speaker 5 you know, when you're joking around is you got to make sure you're in sort of a happy, playful mood. Yeah.
Because even though you're still joking,

Speaker 5 it won't come off that way. And

Speaker 5 then, you know, the hairy legged chicks get all upset.

Speaker 3 It is crazy how much the mood that you're in at that time translates to an audience and how quickly they can pick up on that. You're absolutely right.

Speaker 5 Yeah, if you, if someone's on stage having fun, like the crowd will get get into it unless they were already animals and maniacs and stuff but uh

Speaker 5 yeah there's definitely there there's there are things in my act that if i am in a bad mood they could take it becomes a completely different vibe

Speaker 5 the whole set just it just

Speaker 5 just kind of feels like you need a shower afterwards like the fuck happened so uh but with but that's something you have to learn as a comedian so i've learned that so i can and when I start to feel that, I can kind of stop it as it's happening now.

Speaker 3 Where before,

Speaker 5 you know, shit, when I was back in New York and I was sleeping on a futon, I had nobody in my life. I could have like a whole week of shows like that.

Speaker 5 It just,

Speaker 5 you know, and New York was a little,

Speaker 5 it was different back then where, you know,

Speaker 5 I don't know. New York beats you up in a different way now.

Speaker 5 It's sort of becoming like

Speaker 5 the Dubai of

Speaker 3 fucking

Speaker 5 just the level of money was always ridiculously high. Now I go out there, it's just like there's not even a shithole in Manhattan anymore that you can move into.

Speaker 5 Everything looks like these glass towers. It's, I don't know where all that money's coming from.

Speaker 6 So, so going back to what you were just talking about, like, I kind of see that in the SNL set that you did or the opening monologue.

Speaker 6 You were like smiling while saying all these things, and it was fucking hilarious. And I also think about your,

Speaker 6 lotion

Speaker 6 joke that you did. You're talking about how white people don't know that their skin's always itchy because they just need lotion.
You had to wait until you're like 35.

Speaker 6 And then the punchline, when you like close that out, if you had said that with like a frown on your face or like seeming angry, you're right.

Speaker 6 Like the crowd would have turned on you in an instant, but instead they were all laughing along with you. Did you have to, do you have to like meditate before a show?

Speaker 6 Do you have to think happy thoughts to make sure you're projecting like positive energy?

Speaker 5 No, but I definitely try not to be thinking anything when I go on stage. I was just talking to somebody about that.

Speaker 5 A lot of times when I go on stage, as I'm walking to the mic, I'm just singing a dumb song that doesn't even exist just to empty my head so I'm not thinking of anything.

Speaker 5 So I can kind of just start like,

Speaker 5 I don't know. It's like if I go like, I'm starting with this joke and then the joke and then I walk out there and I'm between my ears.

Speaker 5 And then I'm just up there like, hey, how is everybody doing? I feel like a robot. So I'll kind of like just walk up to the mic, like,

Speaker 5 doing this again.

Speaker 3 What the fuck's wrong with me?

Speaker 5 Hey, what's up, everybody? Just sort of like just doing that. It's also a stupid song.
It doesn't rhyme and I can't sing. So it puts me in a stupid mood, a silly mood.

Speaker 5 And

Speaker 5 yeah, then I get into like that sort of mood. And then I'm having fun.
They'll have fun. And then, yeah, the more sort of lighthearted and silly you are,

Speaker 5 it kind of opens up what you can talk about.

Speaker 5 And then the other side is you want a nice mix of people in the crowd,

Speaker 5 you know, like the lotion bit. It helps if it's not in front of an all-white crowd because they're not going to know what I'm talking about.
It has some racial vibe to it.

Speaker 5 And then, you know, there's people out there that don't. can't don't know the difference between a joke about race and a racist joke.

Speaker 5 I remember that a long time ago, these idiots ran this website and they go, the reason why Bill gets away with doing racist jokes is because there's so goddamn, and I said, buddy, I'm not doing race, I'm doing jokes about race.

Speaker 5 That's what I was actually doing that joke about going up to Harlem to see the woman who's now my wife. And that joke was literally just a fish out of water.

Speaker 5 And, you know, white guy goes up to Harlem back when Harlem was, you know.

Speaker 5 Dan Nannerman used to have a joke back in the day, said 96th Street is the last street a white guy can legally live on.

Speaker 5 And then it just, it changed like that. So

Speaker 5 it was a joke about that, but these people wrote it and they said, rather than the same as about race. And that's when I was young too.

Speaker 5 So, of course, I was like mortified, like going, oh my God, everyone's going to think I'm racist now. And then I learned, like, oh, no, this is just this little dumb website.

Speaker 5 And this is just a handful of people. So I kind of learned, that's another reason why I don't like read comments and shit.
Like, if I put something out,

Speaker 5 what I do is I read until the first one that hammers me, right?

Speaker 5 And I'll be like, all right, when like, you know, 10, 15 comments, that's pretty good for the internet. That's pretty good.

Speaker 3 All right.

Speaker 5 So I think it's doing all right. Then I wait for my reps to call me

Speaker 5 to say, like, you know, hey, you got to push that more or it's doing great or whatever.

Speaker 6 Yeah, it's like playing press your luck.

Speaker 6 You keep reading until you hit the whammy and then close out.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 5 That's it.

Speaker 5 Somebody craps out and I just take my money off the table.

Speaker 3 It's also, it also is an impossible thing to tell, especially people who are like maybe just starting out in podcasting or whatever it may be, to like, don't read the comments, never read the comments, because we all read the comments when we were starting.

Speaker 3 And then eventually you get to a point where you have the confidence where you're like, hey, I don't need to read the comments all the time. And that totally changes your perception.

Speaker 3 But I think everyone has to live

Speaker 3 through it.

Speaker 5 I have a lot of empathy for younger people that are coming up with the level of just

Speaker 5 scrutiny and just like how like as mean as hecklers were when I came up, they would nobody would, like, it wasn't the level of mean that's on the internet because you're removed.

Speaker 5 It's like, like, the shit that people will say about pro fighters. It's like you would never say this if they were in the room.

Speaker 5 So, that there is, so I really feel bad for like a lot of younger performers because you're so young, you're so, you don't have any of your,

Speaker 5 you start to build walls like you can't fucking hurt me, you know?

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 5 People like that. And like, but when I was young, I was just sitting there, you know, head right on a tee for you to drive down the fairway.

Speaker 5 And I just can't imagine these kids nowadays when they come up that there's that level of

Speaker 5 like, it's just people just taking their childhood out on you. Yeah, no,

Speaker 3 I actually think like it happens at Barstool Sports a lot too now, because I think back to like, you know, eight years ago when it was, it really was only like, you know, 10 of us and it was a little club and it was the people who were, it was a community.

Speaker 3 Now we're so much bigger someone shows up and gets hired and they're just fucking out to the wolves instantly like they just get smoked instantly and i don't know how they i don't know how they come back from that creatively and you have you have such a passionate fan base that anybody new is just gonna get like right they have like half a second to prove themself i would think but you guys have been such a fun thing to watch

Speaker 5 My favorite thing was whenever anybody

Speaker 5 would try to come at you guys. And I thought that the whole way that they didn't understand you guys and the whole way that they just,

Speaker 5 there was this really weird shift on the left where they became everything that they claim the right to be. These certain segments of them where it was just like,

Speaker 5 oh, these are guys that are into sports and like hot chicks. Therefore, they're this, this, this, and this, and this is all toxic.

Speaker 5 My favorite thing was when that idiot said that your female CEO was there in name only.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 5 He came back like, I grew this business by 80%.

Speaker 5 He was actually being sexist.

Speaker 5 And once again, because it didn't fit the narrative, how come that guy didn't get taken out?

Speaker 6 I think it all goes back to the fact that the people that run a lot of the media companies and a lot of people that write at other media companies just hate our boss just at like on a personal level.

Speaker 6 And so then, therefore, everything else that happens over here is bad, no matter how much they would agree with it or not agree with it.

Speaker 5 But it they well i think it says a lot about you if you hate a self-made man that that shows that you can start from nothing and still grow into what you guys are all doing over there like there's certain people that look at that and they get inspired by it and then there's these other people i don't know what kind of people they are but they see it and they want to ruin it they want to they want to destroy it and it's uh

Speaker 3 that's that's the change that i've had at least mentally because it used to bother me so much and then i was like you know what i'm gonna keep doing what i do for the people people that like it.

Speaker 3 And the people who don't like it will never like it. And they'll always hate me.
And it just is what it is.

Speaker 5 This is what I take comfort in. I have two friends of mine that think the Beatles are overrated.
So I just look at it like, if the Beatles are getting shit,

Speaker 5 I'm pretty sure my truckload of shit is coming. So

Speaker 5 it just comes with the territory. And like, you know,

Speaker 5 I don't read it. I try not to read it.
I don't respond to it. It just is,

Speaker 5 it's sort of a new,

Speaker 5 it's like a new sport, like when Frisbee football came up. Another new sport is just going on the internet and trying, oh, look, this guy made his dream or this woman made her dream come true.

Speaker 5 Let's see if we can end it.

Speaker 3 It is true.

Speaker 5 That's how I fill myself up as a human being: I try to end other people's dreams.

Speaker 6 I mean, honestly, it's a lot easier to do that. So I can see in the short term, like, yeah, you get a couple quick dunks off.
You start feeling good about yourself.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Why am I not happy why i spend all day just shitting on things and and trying to pick people apart online why am i why am i not fulfilled in my life that's my favorite

Speaker 3 not saying i've got life figured out because no none of us do opening up for the clan yeah there's a reason why i binge drank the way i did it wasn't because i was a happy guy yeah and now you've got smoothies but uh bill this has been awesome we appreciate it uh everyone go if you are in one of the cities that Bill's going to be in, make sure you head out there.

Speaker 3 Comedy is back. Bill Burr's back on the road.
Like I said, he's going to start in Vegas. He ends in Phoenix.
He's going to be hitting everywhere in between.

Speaker 5 I got Red Rocks. Red Rocks is a big one I'm looking for.

Speaker 3 Oh, hell yes. That was awesome.
Hell yes.

Speaker 5 Come out to a Colorado State game and then go to the show.

Speaker 6 Have you ever performed at Red Rocks before?

Speaker 5 You know, I did a

Speaker 5 for Wendy at the Comedy Works.

Speaker 5 I did a thing where there was an animated

Speaker 5 short festival because it isn't just like huge bands. They have like all these cool movies.
You can go to Movie Night there and stuff, as far as I know.

Speaker 5 So they hired her to bring some comics out to do a little bit of stand-up right before these animated movies.

Speaker 5 So I performed in front of a bunch of animation fans that had no idea who I was, and it didn't go well. So to answer your question, is yes, I have, and I didn't have a good set.

Speaker 6 It's a great venue, though. I want to go out there.
I bet you the melons are so blue in Colorado.

Speaker 3 Yes, yes, absolutely. But

Speaker 5 if you guys want to go, let me know. Let me know.
I'll hook you up.

Speaker 3 I love it. I love it.
Well, thank you, Bill. It's always a pleasure.
Always fun to have you on. And good luck on the tour.

Speaker 5 All right. I hope to see you in person in a mask-free world.

Speaker 3 All right.

Speaker 3 Can't worry, guys. We'll see you.
Thank you. Thanks, Bill.

Speaker 1 What's up, guys? It's Big Cat here making my Irish entrance with proper number 12 Irish whiskey. How do you make an Irish entrance, you ask?

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Speaker 3 Okay, let's do some FAQs. I almost used CAP correctly there, but I'm staying out.

Speaker 6 I'm staying out of it. No cap.
You almost used it correctly.

Speaker 3 I'm staying out of it. I know when I'm beat, but the internet has me beat.

Speaker 6 Here's the thing: you don't have to say cap. All you have to do is just fire off the memes.
The memes are really what's the attractive part.

Speaker 3 All right, I'm fine with the memes.

Speaker 3 I'm a meme mahala.

Speaker 3 Just if you see somebody capping online, just that part i just yeah i just i can't sense i don't know it's like pornography you just you know it when you feel it yeah okay all right so i'll give you self-bunking on it where's our bunk oh it's for her oh yeah bonk yourself

Speaker 3 i just know that i know there's a uh

Speaker 3 you know like as i get there up in age i'm i'm learning to just give up a little bit more when it's like hey this trend like the fucking TikTok the we walked in I walked in the office today everyone was like the office is a buzz about Tessa and Jessa and Jessica and Nessa.

Speaker 3 And I said, listen,

Speaker 3 do it the old-fashioned way. Put it on MTV and I'll watch it.

Speaker 3 Otherwise, I can't follow. Give me a fucking, put it on Bravo.
I'll watch the shit out of this drama. Otherwise, cannot follow.

Speaker 6 They got my attention because they just featured Travis Barker on a song. That's an easy way for me.

Speaker 6 If you have Travis Barker playing behind you, it doesn't matter if you're singing, if you're doing stand-up, you could be delivering a eulogy.

Speaker 6 I'm going to watch if it's featuring Travis Barker in in the song, actually.

Speaker 3 So you're going to watch Keep Me In The Kardashians.

Speaker 3 Yeah, why not? Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 6 Listen, I'm Cat. That's Cat.

Speaker 3 Drama. I'm in for the drama.
Just put it on TV. I don't know how to follow it.

Speaker 6 Travis is dating

Speaker 3 Courtney.

Speaker 6 He got her name tattooed, or she got his name tattooed.

Speaker 3 Scott Disick doesn't get enough credit for being an all-time villain. The Lord.
Like, and oh, remember that time he shoved

Speaker 3 money into the waiter's mouth? That, if that happened today,

Speaker 3 he might have been publicly executed. That was a fucking douchebag as douchebag gets.
But he knew how to play his role.

Speaker 3 He knew how to play his role.

Speaker 3 What are we doing? FAQs? QAs? FAQs? Why does PFT stop wearing the cowboy hat? Everyone knows it's a good look on him.

Speaker 6 Everyone did know that.

Speaker 6 I thought it was a good look. Universal.
Big Cat was a big proponent of the cowboy hat. Sometimes you just got to stop doing stuff.

Speaker 6 That's great life advice, actually. When I said it, it sounded really profound coming out of my mouth.
Yeah. Stop doing stuff.
Sometimes just give up on shit. Yeah.

Speaker 6 And honestly, it was more of just like a distraction to get me through. It was like a three-week period where I was like, I just got to switch something up.

Speaker 3 I think you've actually done a good job, though, of laying the base work that when you do it now, it looks natural. So like you put in the hard work so that people are like, hey, cowboy hat guy.

Speaker 3 So when you do it now, I wouldn't have the same reaction when I did initially where I was like, oh, I don't know. This is a big change.
Now it's like, it's part of your repertoire.

Speaker 6 I think the next time I wear it, I'll also have the boost of like, oh shit, the cowboy hat's back. Right.
And then that's a whole new buzz going.

Speaker 3 It's part of your game. You are now a five-tool player.
Running, throwing,

Speaker 3 cowboy hatting, running for power,

Speaker 3 running for power, running for speed.

Speaker 6 The Ephes pitch.

Speaker 3 Oh, dude, Zachary, when he throws the Ephes, it's so electric. It really is the beast.
In the early days of PMT, Big Cat would always say, loser has to kill a debutante.

Speaker 3 Whenever you guys would bet on something,

Speaker 3 what did that even mean?

Speaker 6 It was just we were coming up with stupid stakes for our bets that we were putting out.

Speaker 6 A debutante is like a 15-year-old girl who's

Speaker 6 finally stepping out onto the stage as these debutante balls.

Speaker 3 I said that? Yeah, so

Speaker 6 I'll jump on this grenade for you.

Speaker 6 I think it was my idea to say it, but it was literally just because we wanted to think of the most obnoxious, dumb thing to make the stakes of our bet.

Speaker 3 It's when, yeah, when the,

Speaker 3 I mean, we've gotten caught in this a few times. It's the, it's the old, like, I'll eat my column bet that a newspaper columnist does or a radio guy.
This is why we have the ass-eating thing.

Speaker 3 Like, we unfortunately essentially just can't be okay watching other people do lame bets and be like, oh, that's a lame bet. We have to be like, that's a lame bet.

Speaker 3 And on top of it, we will commit murder and then eat each other's asses out.

Speaker 3 Would you still watch sports if you had to write a three-page report for every game you watch? Signed Jabisness.

Speaker 6 Are you talking about being a journalist?

Speaker 3 Every game?

Speaker 3 Yeah,

Speaker 3 you had to write a three-page report for every game you watch. What size font?

Speaker 3 Honestly, no.

Speaker 3 That's so much work. I'd watch a couple games.
Would you watch...

Speaker 3 There's no way that you could watch. Think about that.
Every NFL

Speaker 6 book would be tough.

Speaker 3 You're right about that.

Speaker 6 Red Zone counts as one game.

Speaker 3 Okay, so you're right about the font. You just basically go

Speaker 3 12 and a half,

Speaker 6 indent, margins, paragraph, paragraph.

Speaker 3 Space between the paragraph was always the best move because it not only gives you extra space, but it also you can be like, it's a classy look.

Speaker 6 And then you put your name in the top right corner and then give it like four extra spaces down the face. And then a big title.
The date. Yeah.
Yeah, you got to title your essay. Yeah, we could do it.

Speaker 6 I would do it on Sundays because Red Zone counts as one game. Red Zone 2 counts as really just three quarters of a game game when it's four games or three games in the afternoon.

Speaker 6 And then the night game, so that's nine. I would write nine pages after an NFL Sunday.

Speaker 3 Here's something we can do.

Speaker 3 Billy, you're not...

Speaker 3 Next fall, you won't be in school anymore, right?

Speaker 3 So you'll have a ton of free time. Yeah, this is true.
Okay, so

Speaker 3 I'm not going to make you do every game, but I wouldn't hate it if you did a three-page report on Monday Night Football every week. I think that's easy, right? And then we read it on the Tuesday show?

Speaker 7 We could do that.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I mean, that's not hard, Billy. Yeah, you could do that.

Speaker 3 One paper every single week to keep you in writing in case you want to go back to school, if this whole career doesn't work out and Navy SEALs don't come calling, we'll just do that. Perfect.
Okay.

Speaker 6 Monday Night Football.

Speaker 3 By Billy Football. By Football is bold.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 So you're incorporating your name into the actual write-up. Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 3 You can space it however you want. Perfect.
Oh, okay. Yeah.
All right. Perfect.
I'm excited for this.

Speaker 3 Sup boys, especially Slick Willie. Last year I offered Billy $1,000 to charity for Vanny's steering wheel, but he declined because Blake Griffin would hypothetically hop in and take it for $100K.

Speaker 3 He obviously never did. Does Billy hate charity, or was it too much work to ship a steering wheel?

Speaker 3 You are using Blake Griffin's name for...

Speaker 6 For leverage? For leverage?

Speaker 3 I had this idea that we have this huge huge auction. Yeah, we talked about it on the show.
We had a lot of friends with you.

Speaker 3 You hold the keys.

Speaker 3 I wanted you to do that.

Speaker 7 I know, but I had to chop it up.

Speaker 3 You can do that. I will get that done.

Speaker 3 I will get that done by the end of the day. I want you to do that.

Speaker 3 I will get it done by the summer.

Speaker 6 No, you're not going to do it this way.

Speaker 3 But it sounds like a guy was going to... Yeah, you already gave up $1,000.
Well, I didn't want to sell the steering wheel for $1,000 and then have to get a new steering wheel. You know what?

Speaker 3 I'm actually going to... I'm going to side with you here, Billy.
The steering wheel should be in the studio. Yeah.
Okay. It's like everything else should be one of the good ones.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 Okay, but let's not act like Billy's actually going to follow through and dissect the entire van and sell it during this big

Speaker 3 PFT. I don't know.
He said he was.

Speaker 6 No, it's stump season. Billy's got like 17 more stumps he has to explore.

Speaker 3 Graduation party summer.

Speaker 7 That's the problem with Billy.

Speaker 6 That's actually Billy in a nutshell right there. Is he can have any assignment put in front of him, and he will get distracted by something as small as a stump.

Speaker 3 big stump.

Speaker 3 You don't come at that stump. That was a huge ass stump.

Speaker 3 People love the size of that stump.

Speaker 6 Like you are great at getting, you are the best person in the world at getting distracted by things.

Speaker 3 It's also great that picture of Billy and the stump after he said it was a 90 degree day and the water was great. You look at that picture and you get cold.
Like there's no leaves on the trees. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Or swimming in sewage. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Don't you come at that stump.

Speaker 6 I'm sorry. The stump was nice.

Speaker 3 Sup, boys, especially Chonk Cat. Will Jillie Football ever make a return to the show? Cool throwing you, Big Cat.
All these fat filter pictures are going around, so you kind of can.

Speaker 3 Where's the filter? Well, no, but

Speaker 3 you can kind of be like, no, it's a filter. No, my face is fat right now.
I made a huge fuck-up by shaving and getting a haircut at the same time.

Speaker 3 I didn't eat dinner last night. I didn't eat breakfast this morning.

Speaker 6 What? On the snake diet?

Speaker 3 What? I'm on a diet. That's not healthy.

Speaker 3 It's how you kickstart it. You got to get your stomach small.

Speaker 6 Billy, are you really into diet culture? Because Because what Big Cat's involved in right now, they call it OMAD. Yeah.
One meal a day.

Speaker 3 If I never eat again, I will.

Speaker 6 It sounds like a disorder. Once you reach OMAD, it's a level of intermittent fasting.

Speaker 3 It's like the ninth level.

Speaker 3 Yeah, and it also is a disorder because the internet's mean to me. Maybe tell the internet to stop being mean to me.
Please stop being mean to Big Cat.

Speaker 3 People are just like, I mean, right now, it's also this camera angle, but I'm okay with it because you know what? I am fat and I need to lose some weight.

Speaker 3 The camera angle, like, I'm not saying the camera angle is wrong. I'm saying the only way that I can look good is if the camera is literally on the ceiling.

Speaker 6 There is something about your face, though, where anytime you make a change to it, it's going to look fat in a way.

Speaker 6 But then after a few days, it just becomes that's your face, and you're not fat anymore.

Speaker 3 I got a nice double chin. It's right here.
It's flopping around, but we're going to fix it. We're on OMAD.
OMAD?

Speaker 6 OMAD. OMAD.
One meal a day.

Speaker 3 Dude, OMAD is going to kick everyone's ass. Billy, you're also my fucking nutritionist.
I know. I don't understand what you're doing.
I think you're slowing your metabolism down.

Speaker 3 So then speed it the fuck up, dude. Well, start eating more.

Speaker 7 That's how you speed it up. No.
What?

Speaker 3 Pizza? Like small increments.

Speaker 6 Why would you eat more if you're trying to lose weight, Billy? That doesn't add up.

Speaker 3 More frequently.

Speaker 6 You're big cats, OMAD. You're you mad.

Speaker 3 You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to get back on the hot dog diet. I'm going to say, fuck it.
I'm just going to eat raw dogs all the time.

Speaker 3 That was the best. That was the last time I had a a legit diet that worked.
Just cooking a bunch of yeah, I think raw dogging during the day or at night all the time.

Speaker 3 You tell you fucking cook me up a hot dog on the grill. I'll eat it.
No bun,

Speaker 3 no cap.

Speaker 3 There you go.

Speaker 3 Got it. Got it.

Speaker 3 Sup, dudes. What is your go-to sandwich to make at home? PFT looks like a big ham and cheese guy, while Big Cat looks like a PBJ kind of guy.

Speaker 6 Favorite sandwich to make at home. I don't make a lot of sandwiches.
Usually, if I'm eating eating a sandwich, it's something that I buy.

Speaker 6 Because I like to treat myself to a nice Italian, maybe Philly cheesesteak. But if I'm making it at home, I usually go simple.
So I'll go like PBJ. That's usually my jam.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Peanut butter and banana or

Speaker 3 turkey.

Speaker 3 My favorite is turkey salami and then just put like an entire bag of chips in it. Gotta get that crunch.
Is that healthy? Is that good on the diet? Yeah.

Speaker 3 I mean, no way is.

Speaker 3 Yeah. He didn't.

Speaker 3 You're no different than Jake getting turkey,

Speaker 3 salami, and an entire bag of chips

Speaker 3 inside the sandwich. And then I have another bag that's for the side chips.
Okay,

Speaker 3 that's a problem.

Speaker 6 You know what I like, though, about getting sandwiches from somewhere else that I don't make myself is they're always heavier.

Speaker 6 If I make a sandwich at home, it's usually like it doesn't have that same weight. There's no better feeling than leaving an Italian deli and having a sandwich that's like 10 pounds.
Yes.

Speaker 6 You can tell that a sandwich is going to taste good based on how it feels in your hand inside the wrapper. That's so true.
I can never recreate that.

Speaker 3 Like a mini baseball bat. Yes.

Speaker 3 That's when you know, like, I'm about to. Shout out that

Speaker 3 woman online who Hank sent us the clip who just fucking devours that sandwich.

Speaker 6 Jake was already deeming her.

Speaker 3 She was trying to see if she could come in here before the show. See a real one.

Speaker 3 Shocking, shocking, shocking skills.

Speaker 3 If you had to choose between killing Jake, if you had to choose between killing Jake or having having to share a house with 10 billies for the rest of your life, which would you choose?

Speaker 3 I'd kill Jake so fast.

Speaker 3 That would fucking give me the gun house. I'll kill him with my bare hands.

Speaker 6 I don't care. I would make sure that it was quick and painless.

Speaker 3 That's not

Speaker 3 10 billies? Yeah, living with 10 billies is mean. Do you want me to do that?

Speaker 5 Jake, I'll take one for the team.

Speaker 6 If it were on you and the same thing was going towards me,

Speaker 6 I would tell you to kill me.

Speaker 3 I couldn't live.

Speaker 3 I'd jump in front of a train so fast. No, actually, nope.
Nitza.

Speaker 3 No, yeah, Titza. Never mind.

Speaker 3 I would not do that.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 6 Never do that.

Speaker 3 I don't think the 10 billies would survive. I think they'd eliminate each other slowly, and you just end up with one.
You don't think you could eliminate it? It would be the strongest.

Speaker 3 You'd be the alpha-est Billy? That's why we haven't heard from Dale in a while. Yeah, that's true.
What happened to Dale? Did you kill Dale? No. Did you fuck him to death?

Speaker 3 Bunk.

Speaker 6 Imagine how many reptiles would be in your house with with 10 billies.

Speaker 3 Oh, my God.

Speaker 3 What's up, fellas? What's up, fellas?

Speaker 3 I know Hank loves vacations, but when was the last time Mr. Cometer and Mr.
Cat took a vacation? This is a question from Hank. No, I'm.
Yeah. This is a question from Hank.

Speaker 6 You're trying to get us to say how long it's been.

Speaker 3 This is the thing.

Speaker 6 So you can be like, wow, that's a really long time. You guys should think about going on a vacation.

Speaker 3 There's this, there's another really sentimental one. We'll do some Zoom shows this summer.
We'll take some vacations.

Speaker 6 I'm getting a beach house this summer.

Speaker 3 So there you go.

Speaker 6 It's written in the sand.

Speaker 3 Sorry that I have a work ethic that makes me want to always

Speaker 3 go and put out a product for the people. Apology.
My fault, Hank. Don't apologize to me.
I'm with it. Yeah, you're pro-work.

Speaker 3 Absolutely.

Speaker 6 Vacation when you're dead.

Speaker 3 Exactly.

Speaker 3 Sup, dad.

Speaker 3 Billy really wanted to jump in there, and I have to hear what he has to say. No, I'm actually.
His vacation policy. As I've gotten to my age, I realize.
This is going to be. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 Hold on, let's just really really

Speaker 3 practice football. Okay.
I'd rather take vacations while I'm youthful and can do many things

Speaker 6 as opposed to earlier when you never took vacations before you realized.

Speaker 3 Well, I've not like I've been in college the past four years, and then before that, I was in like high school, doing football camping stuff.

Speaker 3 You never actually worked, but you're already ready for the vacation. Right, but like, did you do middle school? I love this.

Speaker 6 This is you get two years off or two months off in college in the summertime.

Speaker 3 Billy learned. Yeah, but I was like

Speaker 3 working once the vacation jobs.

Speaker 3 You haven't worked a full job.

Speaker 3 I've had like losing two jobs.

Speaker 3 You had the cubes for one summer and I worked construction like all through high school in first two summers. But you haven't even accrued the vacation hours that you now

Speaker 3 like you have to accrue.

Speaker 3 Like if you went and got a job, right? Uh-huh.

Speaker 3 They wouldn't you couldn't take a vacation the second week. Technically here you could because our vacation policy is a joke, but

Speaker 3 I agree.

Speaker 3 exactly i agree it is it's it's up well honestly people take advantage of it i just it's not that i want to take a vacation i just want to go places that i haven't been before

Speaker 3 you guys take advantage of it you can go on vacation anytime you want

Speaker 3 exactly the shaming uh well yeah what we can't shame no you can i'm saying you take advantage of it you could go away for a year i'll just every show be like welcome to part of my take hank's still on vacation billy tell me about the moment when you realized in all your age and wisdom where going on vacation was cool.

Speaker 3 Well the thing is like at some point like like I've not been to a lot of places and I want to go there. It's not exactly for like vacation.

Speaker 3 You don't want to just be an ant marching dude. Yeah.
You're just a rat in a case.

Speaker 3 Billy's been in war mode for like 17 years. Sometimes he leaves the beach.

Speaker 3 Sometimes people, and I'm this is not a slight at you, Billy, because you're going to probably take the first part of it as that.

Speaker 3 Sometimes people are like, Billy, why does Billy get to talk on the show? This is why he is, he is, he is ourselves when we were 22. Like, I love you.
This is what I love.

Speaker 3 Your thought of like, you know what, guys, after

Speaker 3 18 years of living in my parents' house and, you know, taking every summer off, and then four years of going to college and partying my face off, I realized, you know, life's too short not to take some vacations.

Speaker 3 You know what I want you to do, Billy? But it's not, it's, it's more like I just want to see places.

Speaker 6 You know what?

Speaker 3 You know what you should do?

Speaker 6 We should put Billy in charge of our mystery flight.

Speaker 3 Yes.

Speaker 6 But we don't know.

Speaker 3 Somalia.

Speaker 3 Billy plans a vacation tower. It's terrible.

Speaker 7 Do you take us, please?

Speaker 6 No, because Billy wouldn't want to stay in the terrible.

Speaker 3 They'd be educational. No, no, no.

Speaker 3 Drop Zonas in the middle of the Amazon rainforest. Bro, we'd have to sleep on the rocks.

Speaker 3 And we'd have fun. For dance.
It wouldn't be yet.

Speaker 3 Eastern Europe. You guys know what the fuck's going on there? Yeah, like, you guys want to see the Eiffel Tower? I got a stump for you that is so sick.

Speaker 3 See the Eiffel Tower.

Speaker 3 All right, well, and with that was a wholesome one. There's another wholesome one.
That was not a wholesome one. That was a question from you, Hank.
You can take a vacation wherever you want.

Speaker 3 This one's not a question for me. So, sup, Dad Cat, PFT, and Honk.
You guys have already accomplished so much with PMT. You all seem like guys that keep wanting to do more.

Speaker 3 What's the professional goal or aspiration you have for yourself?

Speaker 6 That's a good question.

Speaker 3 Yeah,

Speaker 3 It's like a stop and spell the road.

Speaker 6 I would like to keep doing this.

Speaker 6 I would like to.

Speaker 3 It's not an aspiration, though, but

Speaker 3 I would like to keep working as hard as I am so that someday Billy can fulfill his dream of vacationing.

Speaker 3 That's my goal. It's not vacationing.
It's more I just want to travel.

Speaker 6 That's very similar.

Speaker 3 But even for work. Dude, it's not.
Well, yeah, I mean, yeah.

Speaker 3 We'll travel again. Well, no, you're not invited.
Never mind. Sorry.
Jake's invited. You're not.

Speaker 3 You can't.

Speaker 6 What if we put Billy in charge of Grit Week? Oh, my God.

Speaker 3 No.

Speaker 3 No.

Speaker 6 I mean, I.

Speaker 3 Let's put Billy in charge of one day of Grit Week. How about that?

Speaker 3 That's fair. Yeah.
Let's start with one day. We will be doing Grit Week.
We'll all go. All six of us will be on the road.
It's going to be fucking great.

Speaker 3 But one day of Grit Week you get to be in charge of. We're gonna go hiking.
No, see, that's

Speaker 3 okay, fine, but like in a cool way. See, PFT, this is a problem.
He's gonna fuck it up.

Speaker 3 We're gonna interview a stump.

Speaker 6 I don't like to hike, Billy.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 6 I like to walk places where I'm going there for a reason.

Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah, there'll be a reason why we get there.

Speaker 6 I want to walk places to get to a better place to walk.

Speaker 3 We should send Billy on Chris Lawrence, then.

Speaker 3 You want to go to the bottom? Oh, I'm Kilmanjaro?

Speaker 3 Fuck yeah. I know you want to be.

Speaker 3 That's sick. Actually, we should, yeah, we should have him,

Speaker 3 but no, you have to, so we would let you climb Kilimanjaro, but you'd have to carry.

Speaker 3 Yeah, 100%.

Speaker 3 You didn't let me finish. Her pounds.

Speaker 3 30 pounds. Us.
50 pounds. Both of us.
You have to carry both of us up the mountain. That would be awesome.

Speaker 3 You really think that you can do anything? I love it. This is why we have him on the show.
One day I'll realize my mortality and not want a vacation. Have you done laundry recently, Billy? Nope.

Speaker 3 It's actually

Speaker 3 a lot of fun. I can tell because he's wearing the free sweatshirt and no socks.

Speaker 3 And mugsy jeans that are super comfortable. And you have the croc.

Speaker 6 You have camouflaged crocs on, too.

Speaker 3 What are you trying to hide from Brett Farmer? You can't even find a pair of socks. That's when you know it's time to.

Speaker 3 I mentioned that the pile is like all the way back because it's all the way back and it took like two months.

Speaker 3 And just saying that sentence, Billy like ran over and just started like grabbing shit I was like no that's not what I said

Speaker 3 but here he is anyway Jake you okay yeah I'm great we love you Jake love you us too we love you well you know what one time you know what next week we'll let you go first no I will let you go first I was telling PFT it wasn't the fact that I gave into the joke.

Speaker 5 It was the fact that I wasn't completely listening to you guys and I felt disrespectful.

Speaker 5 It's okay, Jake. But I was doing something for the show.

Speaker 3 You always working like our other

Speaker 3 who's ready to vacation at the ripe age of 22.

Speaker 6 Jake, have you learned the valuable lesson of needing to take a break from your job to go on vacation?

Speaker 3 Yeah, I'm taking one next month. Fuck yeah, Jake.

Speaker 3 We're taking vacations this summer. First one like ever.

Speaker 6 I'm gonna be tan as fuck.

Speaker 3 Let's do it, Hank. Let's take some vacations.
All right, short or summer. 30.
40s. Give me an 80s.
36.

Speaker 5 18.

Speaker 3 99. 86.
32.

Speaker 7 8 is due

Speaker 3 oh I just saw eight literally popped up

Speaker 3 like

Speaker 3 you know how it

Speaker 3 it was right there it'll happen 57 some ladybugs are males

Speaker 3 first timer

Speaker 6 love you guys

Speaker 6 Don't give me away.

Speaker 6 I know what I'm going to say. I've made any way

Speaker 6 Today's unhappy to find you shiny.

Speaker 6 I've been coming for your love, okay.

Speaker 6 Dream of me, make

Speaker 6 me

Speaker 6 up,

Speaker 6 dream of me.

Speaker 6 Some needle let's say

Speaker 6 hey,

Speaker 6 I'll be so let up late.

Speaker 6 Still in love with life is okay.

Speaker 6 Say after me.

Speaker 3 Life's no better to be safe than something.

Speaker 3 Take

Speaker 3 a mind.

Speaker 3 Drink on the

Speaker 3 drink on me.