Bill Burr, Julian Edelman Retires, And FAQ's

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Consult a healthcare provider to determine if treatment is right for you. On today's part of my take, we have Bill Burr, recurring guest Hall of Famer Bill Burr.
Also, Hall of Fame discussion about recurring guest Hall of Famer Julian Edelman and why it's bullshit that his actual accomplishments have been belittled by the Internet because he may not be a Hall of Famer. We have Hatsi Kultron and then we have FAQs.
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Today is Wednesday, April 14th. Tax day.
Almost tax day, but it got moved. I was trying to scare Hank Hank I was trying to freak him out on that one It's should we debate Julian Edelman In the Hall of Fame day Well let's debate whether or not we should have that debate Big Cat Well I was laughing I was chuckling I think we should give him some respect on the career first Maybe pause for one second And point.
Let's wait for all the facts to come out first.

Okay, so let's not – you're right, Hank.

We need to give him his credit.

But I also was chuckling to myself before we got to the show,

and I was like just kind of doing a quick –

I do a quick scroll through the internet to see if I missed anything,

and it dawned on me that we're in a lull in the sports discourse

because you obviously had March Madness and the Masters. You're waiting forba playoffs and stanley cup playoffs you're waiting for the nfl draft and it's so funny how the crutch that everyone uses it's debate a hall of famer that no one really is debating except everyone's debating just so that they can dunk on no one that's existing and then the other one is kd is fighting with someone online so super teams come up that's like the it's like the breaking case of emergency if there's nothing to talk about you can always talk about super teams and kd being triggered online or you can always do the thing where you just you invent somebody to dunk on so it's like i saw somebody actually tweet this out the other day y'all say y'all out here saying that ke Durant isn't a good mid-range jump shooter.
And it's like, no. Literally no one said that.
Him and like Alan Houston are probably the best jump shooters of all time. But yeah, you invent stuff to debate about.
I do disagree with you about the Edelman thing. I don't know who you're following on Twitter.
There are a lot of people that think that Julian Edelman should be in the Hall of Fame. Off the top of my head, Skip Bayless comes to mind.
For real who, though? I mean, that's one. No, but there's not...
You're in your echo chamber because there are tons of people... I think you're in an echo chamber.
No, I... I'm seeing like 60, 40.
I don't keep a list of people. I don't think you can name more than three real people.
When you're talking about Edelman, you shouldn't keep... Three real people.
I can... Not off the top of my head, but there are a lot of people that think that Julian Edelman should be in the Hall of Fame.
I don't know if you can name more than three real people. When you're talking about Edelman, you shouldn't keep...
Three real people. Not off the top of my head, but there are a lot of people that think that Julian Edelman should be in the Hall of Fame.
I don't know if you can name more than three real people. Look at the replies to your tweet.
I said three real people. I'm not talking about fans who are obviously going to go with their guy.
I'm talking about three writers, people who might vote for the Hall of Fame. Tom Curran.
He said that he's probably not a Hall of Famer. I thought he said that he was.
I'm pretty sure on his article he was like, I think he's an incredible patriot, and he obviously had a lot to do with the dynasty, but probably not a Hall of Fame. I've seen a lot of people saying that Julian Edelman should be in the Hall of Fame.
They might not have blue check marks next to their name Big Cat. That's what I'm saying.
I don't think there's actually, there are fans. You're gatekeeping the Hall of Fame debate.
No, I'm not. No, no, no, no, no.
A little bit. No, because I'm trying to figure out where this started because what's happening is it's basically what Hank just alluded to.
It's not fair to Julian Edelman who had an incredible career that people are immediately being like, Heinz Ward's better, Reggie Wayne's better, all these numbers are better. It's like, but no one actually, like, show me the few people

that are actually saying he deserves

to be in the Hall of Fame. So I think where this started was,

because this was bubbling up for... He deserves to be in the Hall of Fame.

But show me the people who are saying he's

a no-doubter Hall of Famer. They don't exist.

No one's saying he's a no-doubter, but here's the thing.

It started, like, maybe two

years ago, right when he was in the middle of

another playoff run, when people were talking about

him as being maybe the best playoff wide receiver of all time not named jerry rice and then from that discussion people were like well how much does that impact is this a green thing is are you caping for greeny you think greeny would cape for a new england patriot i think greeny would would be like you know what's a really good debate that won't get me in any trouble that i can just start and and do four shows about julian edelman in the hall of fame so I don't think well I don't see now you've got me saying I don't think that he should be in the hall of fame which sounds mean because he just retired he had a great career obviously okay so here's if someone retires and you don't immediately have a debate on whether or not they should be in the hall of fame like Peter King shows up at your doorstep and won't leave until you laugh at his anecdote right but he's's been discussing this a little bit, too. I just don't.
I can't find the person who's like running the Julian Edelman should be in the Hall of Fame campaign. I can't find him.
Well, Billy was saying that person is a fucking agent of chaos. Well, Billy doesn't think he's retired.
It's the Hall of Fame, not the Hall of Stats. Okay.
That's my point on the matter. Okay.
So you're saying that he's not a Hall of Fame receiver. He doesn't have Hall of Fame stats, but he's a Hall of Fame player.
I think he's a Hall of Fame human being. There we go.
Okay, here's my take on Julian Elliman. He's an incredible player.
Here's what they really should do. They should change the Hall of Fame.
We should even make it more nerdy and it should be Hall of Fame above replacement value or where you were drafted. If you do that Julian Elliman was drafted in the seventh round, he's a Hall of Famer because he exceeded all the expectations for his career.
He's a Mel Kuyper Hall of Famer. Right, and then if you have a first round, if you draft a guy in the first round, he has to have an insane Hall of Fame career to be in the Hall of Fame.
Seventh rounders should get a little bit more of a benefit of the doubt for how much they exceeded what everyone expected out of them. Yeah, I think what this comes down to is it's a lot of people that are essentially saying that the New England Patriots dynasty should be in the Hall of Fame.
So it's not as much like Julian was such a big part of that dynasty. I think more the argument is just like that.
Hank, you probably want like the entire run that you had. Every player that played on the Patriots going back to 2001, you want like Wilfork, Seymour, Malcolm Butler, your vest.
I wouldn't say Malcolm Butler. My vest should be in like a – Probably.
Some type of – At least should be in the Hall of Fame, not voted in, but it's part of the – Right. When you go to the Hall of Fame and visit, there should be like a little section like Brady 4, my vest, maybe showing all the bets I won, my bet slips and stuff.
Right. But is that kind of the crux of it? It's mostly people who are just like New England Patriots Dynasty should be in the Hall of Fame.
Yeah, I mean, I don't think he's going to be in the Hall of Fame. His moments like you said will be in the Hall of Fame in the moments as you're walking through the museum like greatest playoff performances the catch, the throw in the Ravens game.
But yeah, he's not going to have a bust. But that doesn't matter.
Right. It doesn't matter.
And he has three rings. And I'm like...
And MVP. it actually is getting me mad that whoever created this debate has ended up making the discourse about Julian Edelman's career how he's not a Hall of Famer that shouldn't even be the question he's an all time great clutch receiver big moments he was the one who came like his career is incredible when you think about the fact that he was a seventh rounder and you know like a kick returner maybe like they thought maybe he'd be a db all these things so i'm more mad that whoever decide i can't find the person i want you to find me the person pft that created the debate of julian edelman deserves to be in the hall of fame has now had the reaction of everyone being like he's not a hall of famer and it's like shut up why don't you just celebrate the guy's career right it's more of a matter of we've been talking about it as kind of like a theoretical experiment for the last couple years like when the day comes who started so there's been a pre-debate going on and there are a ton of people out there that think that jake actually had a great take today i love this we were actually discussing julian edelman's hall of fame resume and jake was like this the debate over whether or not julian edelman should be in the hall of fame should be in the hall of fame it's a hall of fame debate it is a hall of fame it is no doubt about it and i do think that some of the people that are are saying he should be in the Hall of Fame, he gets like an added benefit.
Find him. You can search.
It's so easy to find thousands of people. I couldn't find anyone who's an admirable meme.
Literally thousands of people are saying this. Big had his name, Neeson.
I couldn't find anyone who's a Hall of Fame voter or like an NFL writer or like someone who, because I just can't stand, and I guess this is just the internet, I'm just hate the internet in general, but I can't stand the everyone arguing against something. It's like, but no one was arguing the other side.
You guys are dunking on no one. So all I saw last night, like Heinz Ward was trending.
Reggie Wayne was trending. And people were tweeting out like, look at Reggie Wayne's stats.
Look how much better he is than Julian Edelman. It's like, shut up, dude.
Why don't you just appreciate Julian Edelman no one said that he was had better stats than Reggie Wayne I think what you're seeing these people writing the articles in response to are the replies to people's tweets that's stupid that's who that's who they're well those are real people too big cat they are but that's not like those are like everyone's gonna want their favorite player to be in the hall of fame I think that a lot of times Julian Edelman and Danny Amendola, Julian gets credit for some of the things that in the back of your head you think that maybe Danny or he gets credit for the stuff that Danny Amendola did. And Wes Welker.
And Wes Welker a little bit. So he's like there should be a bust for all three of them.
Julie, Dan, Welker, Amendola. It should just be slot receiver Patriots.
Yes. Yes.
That should be in the Hall of Fame. Yes.
Because when you roll into one. I'm cool with that.
And I think Julian Edelman, like he's not, if I had a Hall of Fame vote, he would be one of those guys that like when they do the, you know how like Cower got in and cried on TV and they let everyone in that year. Like that would be a wait till one of those years.
Whenever, what's 100, right? So like wait till 150 and they start opening the door to everyone and they clean up the Hall of Fame. That feels like a Julian Edelman.
And he's going to, I think he, if I had to guess, I think he will end up in it in like 20 years because people will keep it alive and it will like grow in stature. And no other receiver will do what he's done in the playoffs in the next 20 years.

Right.

Ever.

Ever.

It is crazy that Reggie Wayne's not in the Hall of Fame.

That was wild.

And Hines Ward.

And Hines Ward.

That is crazy to me.

I mean, yeah, if you're judging by the company that you keep.

It's very funny to me to see what trends on Twitter

when something that has nothing to do with them.

Right.

So, like, if the day comes when Joe Flacco retires, you know Trent Dilfer's going to trend. How has that not happened? Because he's still playing.
He's going to do a mid-season here this year. You can almost predict the runoff conversation that's going to happen with Flacco retiring.
Ray Rice might trend on that. Big Ben retires Deshaun Watson trends.
Yeah, there's going to be... I just don't...
I don't know... It's just there's no...
It's... I do...
Debates are... They get a little tired, but it's like if Julian Edelman's not in, Eli Manning's obviously not in either.
That's why I don't get how people say that either. Well, yeah, Eli was another case.
I truly don't understand. I never thought...
I never thought Eli would be in, but it's kind of what you're saying.

The argument would be longevity.

Eli played for a lot longer.

Like Julian Edelman was only – he was –

You've got to look at it.

He played quarterback.

Right, right.

No, but I'm saying.

He's tough to play for a long time at a high level.

Yeah, I'm saying that would be the counter-argument.

Quarterbacks have longer longevity in general than slot wide receivers

going through the middle every snap.

I'm just saying the counterargument.

Eli Manning also beat Julie Den Welker-Mendola twice in the Super Bowl.

I think only one was Julie Mendola.

Julie Den Welker-Mendola.

Billy doesn't even think Julian Edelman's retired, by the way.

We need to get to that.

I have a lot of faith in his work ethic,

and I think he definitely is going to try to rehab it and come back.

He had an incredible career, Hall of Famer in the recurring guest book. And yeah, he's like, I don't know.
To me, we'll get a bus made for him. Maybe they should have a playoff Hall of Fame.
Because he would definitely be in there. That would be the Patriots one.
Just call it the Patriots. Patriots Hall of Fame.
Shut up, Hank. I actually feel bad.

It ends up I feel bad for, I know he doesn't care,

but I feel bad for Julian Edelman that this debate happens on the day that he retires when it's like, shut up.

Like, just appreciate the fact that he was an awesome player

and really no one's debating the other side.

Shut up all you writers who are debating against him.

We should wait until the facts come out in a matter like this. Let's notize julian edelman's retirement i want to find the fucking people i want their agents of chaos the people who started this they just watched the world burn they just set it aflame i think that we should include more unorthodox things in the hall of fame like they should probably nfl they should they should induct a football into the hall of fame i think there is one no but they it should have a actual football they should put they should make a bust of the NFL.
Probably Goodell. They should induct a football into the Hall of Fame.
I think there is one. No, but it should have a bust.
The actual football, yes. They should make a bust of the NFL football, the Duke, put it behind the podium for five minutes, silence, have everybody stare at it, put a gold jacket on it, and walk it off stage.
So Julian Edelman, in the playoffs, he had 118 receptions, 1442 yards in 19 playoff games. And then if you actually take it where he was like a featured wide receiver, it was 14 games and it was 1,200 yards plus 109 receptions, which is an incredible season if it was a regular season.
That's the playoffs and it's 14 games. He's an all-time playoff player.
That's just just a fact you know what he is that guy's just a football player yeah he is do you think we uh have a bias do you think the hall of fame here's a real question does the does the hall of fame have a bias towards a position like slot receiver because it's similar to like a nose tackle who doesn't get the sacks like he doesn't you know he doesn't actually get the sacks or the forced fumbles he's you know impacting the games another way a slot receiver might not have all the receiving yards or all the touchdowns but he's impacting the game in another way yeah so i i think that that's definitely a thing i think that they should probably break it down to positions at some point in the future where you have a certain number of positions that get in at any given time like art monk art monk didn't get into the hall of fame for like 15 years and he was in the top five for almost every single category because you get these log jams that come up i just love like that this is i mean it's it's again when we have like a low in sports it's hall of fames and then super teams that's the way do we do it oh i'm ready for a load management debate, too. We haven't had that in a while.
Who's doing it? No, I'm just ready. That's the next one up.
For sure. Like the Kyrie stuff? Yeah, towards the end of the season, we always get the load management debates going.
All right, so wait, is he a Hall of Famer? As far as I'm concerned, yes. There we go.
I found you somebody. He is a Hall of Fame human being.
There we go. Better human being than a football player.
I don't even want to diminish his capacity as just a person by even talking about the stuff he did on the football field. Yes.
Billy? You can't measure the value in the games he won the way that stats portray him. The best argument that Julian Edelman has and Eli Manning is you can't tell the story of football without those guys.
I love that argument too. That's great.
Because you can't tell the story of the Falcons Super Bowl without Julian Edelman. You can't tell the story of Tom Brady's career without Eli Manning.
So that's, if anyone who is trying to argue this, use that and there's no comeback. No, because it makes you feel warm.
It makes you feel nostalgic about the game. Yeah.
You can't tell the story of football without Julian Edelman. Who do you think would induct the football? I feel like John Madden would give a great introductory speech for a football.
Yeah. Yeah, that would be good uh bill belichick would be good for the football too yeah he probably knows some weird shit about footballs that nobody else does absolutely like how to take the air out of them the clip that was resurfacing from edelman's first like when he got his first touchdown punt return touchdown because welker was injured and he just walks up to him on the sideline he's like you ever heard of wally pip that's gonna be you i think edelman say that or to bill belichick to Welker and Welker was injured, and he just walks up to him on the sideline.
He's like, you ever heard of Wally Pipp? That's going to be you. Wait, did Edelman say that or to Belichick? Belichick said it to Welker.
And Welker was like, oh, the little guy, like for the punt returns, he's like, I don't want it. And then Belichick, way to compete.
He's like, way to compete. Yeah, and he had that preloaded too.
You heard him on the mic talking to Ernie Adams upstairs. He goes, Ernie, what was the guy's name that played before Mickey Mantle did? Then he went over to Welker, said that, and Welker was like, I don't know if I know Wally Pippen.
He was like, yeah, he's the guy that played right before Mickey Mantle got in. It is.
I'm sorry, Lou Gehrig. That's the thing.
Like I was saying, the argument that happens because of the Hall of Fame debate diminishes how crazy Julian Edelman's story is in the NFL. Being a seventh rounder, being a punt returner, ending up being Tom Brady's number one safety blanket.
It's crazy. And he's just got so many cool plays.
He's got so many cool plays. You know what he has? Signature plays.
Yeah. Yeah.
He's got high moments. He's not a receiver.
He's a versatile football player. There we go.

Well, I know.

It's back to use the G word.

Offensive utility player.

He is an offensive weapon.

We haven't taped Bill Burr yet.

We should definitely ask him.

We'll get into it.

He might be the one.

He could be.

He could be the one we're looking for.

Knowing a little bit about Bill, I think that this might be a hill he'll die on.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Someone find me the guy. Because he is an agent of chaos he just i'm telling you big guy there twitter a lot of it wasn't one person that did it i know what you're saying because there's not like one person there's usually skip bayless right that's saying and i think that skip probably waited to see which way the wind was blown he's like i'm going to go the other way because i'm skip right but it was a conversation that's been happening for the last two years.
I know that. It's waiting to.
It's like, yeah, like a brush fire. Yeah.
I just I oftentimes like have tried as we've been on the Internet for a very long time now, whenever there's a whenever I see everyone tweeting about one thing like dunking and being like, this is absolutely correct. I'm I try out like well who are they arguing with and if it's no one it makes me so angry oh like you guys are just getting free points for nothing listen i'm i'm agreeing with you 100 on that but i think in this case it's a little bit different i gotta find the person someone produce the person um all right uh we also have news that sean payton is being put into, or it's a movie about Sean Payton's 2012 year with Kevin James playing the role of Sean Payton, which is now makes this the movie of whatever summer comes out.
I'm very excited for it. And I would like to be cast as an extra in the movie.
Yes. So put that out there now.
And we thought about who we would put in the movie for the rest of the roles. Now, I think Kevin James, once Kevin James is the lead, it just opens up the entire casting where you can just take as many risks as you want.
Anybody. Kevin James is such a good actor that it covers up everyone else's faults.
Right. I had a list of people that are strictly from 90s sitcoms.
Okay. I have some of the names too.
Yeah. So let's talk Greg Williams.
He has to be in the movie, right? Yeah, I got a big role. So you could either go with Big Pussy, the rat.
Okay. Or you could go with Brad Garrett from Everybody Loves Raymond.
Or this is the one I think I like, Ted Danson. Okay.
I was thinking we get a little something off of the Space Jam and pick up someone who got cut, Pepe Le Pew. I like that, too.
Skunk hair, a guy who everyone hates now. Never takes his foot off the gas.
Yeah, never takes his foot off the gas. Yeah, he's never heard.
He has his set way, and he's going to keep doing it that way. So I think you have a little bit of animation in the movie.
And you have Pepe Le Pew play Greg Williams.

That could be good.

Yeah, I'm on board with that.

We'll all hate him.

Okay, here's one that I think you guys will like.

Mr. Belding is going to play Ed Warder.

Ooh, okay.

So who's going to play Goodell?

I think Mr. Belding beefed up post-saved by the Belding.

Are you talking about a fat piece filter?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

We'll put him on the diet.

We'll get him.

Billy will spend a week with him. He'll slim down.
Maybe like a month. I like that.
What about Roger Goodell? That's a good question. Mr.
Feeney? So Mr. Feeney would be great as Roger Goodell.
I also think that... Newman? Newman.
Good choice. The guy from the Americans.
The guy that played the FBI agent from the Americans. I forget the guy's name.
But he looks like Roger Goodell. Okay.
What's his name? Frazier. Kelsey Grammer.
Yeah. Kelsey Grammer as Roger Goodell could work.
I was thinking about some of- Rappaport. Which one? Goodell.
Oh. Oh.
Ha ha ha ha. I was thinking some outside the box casting.
I think we should have Darren Sharper in this movie, who's in jail right now. I hope so.
Definitely in jail. As far as we know.
We should make Peter King play Darren Sharper. Yeah.
He thinks that he's a Hall of Famer. He is the guy.
Let's make Peter King play Darren Sharper, and that's Peter King's cross to bear. I like that.
We could have Screech as Ian Rappaport. Okay.
I like that. Oh, I have what? Screech is dead.
Yeah, that's right. Screech is dead.
That's fine. He's very dead.
We'll reanimate him. Big dead.
Hologram Screech. I was thinking for Drew Brees, something age-appropriate.
Clint Eastwood. Okay.
I like that. Or we could have him be Will Ferrell, but it's Will Ferrell when he's Ricky Bobby, but only when Ricky Bobby thinks he's paralyzed.
Okay, I like that. I like that.
You could have Millie Bobby Brown play his daughter, and she gets a bloody nose because she's so mad that she's not allowed to play football. And then the Saints start winning games out of nowhere.
Yeah, controlling it with her brain. I was thinking who would play Aaron Cromer, who was one of the coaches for the Saints who I hate forever because he was part of the Trestman Bears.
And remember, he punched a kid on the beach. Yeah.
So maybe just Aaron Cromer plays Aaron Cromer. I don't think that he'd let anybody else play him.
Let's see what else I have here. I had one more.
Oh, yeah. Dr.
Nick Rivera as the team physician. I like it that's perfect Will Smith as Will Smith I had Carlton Banks as Jonathan Vilma that's good I like that and then I had in the scene where Sean Payton he's taking that year off so he's spending all his time watching film, stealing the Eagles trick kickoff play.

Doing CrossFit.

Yeah, so you remember that play that he stole from the Eagles?

Riley Cooper, played by Michael Richards.

Ooh, perfect.

There it is.

Typecast, yeah.

Yes, that is perfect.

I'm so excited for this movie.

Yeah, I don't want to burst your guys' bubble too much

because I know this was a fun project for you guys,

but I think the movie is based off of the season

that came after the bounty season.

I told you. Yeah, I don't want to burst your guys' bubble too much because I know this was a fun project for you guys, but I think the movie is based off of the season that came after the bounty season.
Correct. Yeah, we know.
That's what we're saying. That's why Aaron Cromer.
No, no, no, no, no. When he was coaching his son's sixth grade football.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why he spends the entire time watching films.
Well, there's got to be a lead up. Yeah, there's got to be a lead up.
My guess is that it's going to be like five minutes. Oh, it's going to be like a Disney movie where he's just coaching the kids? Right.
So Rick Moranis should be in it. Yeah.
Actually, we'll keep him away from Aaron Cromer. I don't think Greg Williams will be making an appearance in this movie.
If Sean Payton has anything to say about it, I think Greg Williams will play. Oh, he'll take the heat of it heat of it yes yeah this will probably just be like 90 minutes of anti-Greg Williams propaganda which I mean I would hats off to Sean Payton if he's that petty to make a movie about himself that's just taking a shit on his biggest enemies we think that he is we should get yeah so we'll make a movie poster with some of our casting decisions.
Oh, man.

Yeah, the CrossFit years for Sean Payton. Didn't he, didn't like all these Saints get injured when he came back? They had like back injuries.
Yeah, he was like, hey, we're gonna do CrossFit. Because he got inducted into the cult.
AC Slater, Mario Lopez plays the CrossFit instructor. Yes, that's perfect.
That is perfect. We gotta work out a role for you, Billy.
Billy? Assistant. Just assistant.
assistant assistant

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pop That is perfect. We got to work out a role for you, Billy.
Billy? Assistant. Just assistant.
Volunteer coach. Assistant.
Assistant. Pop Warner team.
Just assistant. I think it's a high school coach.
Yeah, it's Pop Warner. It's like sixth grade.
Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah.
Yeah, his kid was young. We might be a little too big.
We need to have Jerry Jones. Jerry Jones should be Jerry Jones.
Yes. Flying in on the plane.
Well, no, because I think he was coaching his kid in Texas, so Jerry Jones is probably watching being like, I want that. You guys would be great dads on the sidelines, just like peanut gallery type stuff.
Just screaming, yeah, that's good. I like that.
You could be a kicker. I was going to say, I think I could show a pull off.
You'd be actually a good role for you, big guy, would drop off your kid to the coach and then make a quick bounty joke. And then kind of walk away.
Like, hey, you know. You'd throw him maybe some paper towels and be like, hey, in case you need a cleanup, here's the bounty.
Yeah. Aha! I could play your kid.
Yeah. And you'd drop me off.
I'm the kicker. Yeah.
Yeah. I like that.
Okay. We're good to go.
Let us know if you want us to help with this movie, whoever's making it. All right, should we do Hot Seat, Cool Throne, then we'll get to Bill Burr.
And we've got FAQs, and we have a horse stable now with Spider. Hank, Hot Seat, Cool Throne.
My Hot Seat is Shannon Sharp. You alluded to it earlier with Kevin Durant.
This is how it started. He basically got duped by one of these fake Instagram accounts that post quotes that you think are real but aren't real uh and then he ran with it on his you know

nationally broadcast show he said the quote that he said which isn't true kevin durian never said

this but you know if you put it on a quote card it seems legit there's a quote card that said it

was from kevin durian said if lebron james is the goat and i beat the goat two times and hit all the

shots in his face what does that make me wait so he never said that kevin durian never said that

Thank you. said it was from Kevin Durant, said, if LeBron James is the GOAT and I beat the GOAT two times and hit all the shots in his face, what does that make me?

Wait, so he never said that?

Kevin Durant never said that.

And Shannon Sharp is saying that he said that.

Yes, that's how the debate started.

He said that.

He's like, Kevin Durant said this.

The low.

The low time.

We're in a low period.

Right, and then Kevin Durant obviously went on Twitter and was like,

I never said this.

Like, what are we talking about here? And then Shannon Sharp, like, blocked him and, you know, has gone silent.

Yeah, good for KD.

Great for KD.

If you see Cap, say Cap.

And he called him out.

Yeah, you guys like that?

Cap is, by the way, Cap's strong right now.

In a way it is, but not in the way that you're talking about.

No, it's back.

It's back big time.

You brought the dad back.

I brought Cap back. Yeah.
Cap's here. It's not going anywhere, and you're capping right now.
Yeah, no, no. You're not.
The dad was definitely capping. Yeah.
There's no doubt about it. So is Cap, but it's fun to say.
Yeah, you love it. No, listen, you do you.
I'm not going to cap. Did I even do you? Is that right? It sounds like you're capping about not capping.
I remove myself from the cap conversation. Capping the hat.
I don't want to be in the cap. I don't know.
I can't figure it out. I'm of the age now where I'm happy to say when I don't understand anything, and I can just say, you guys have fun.
I do think it's funny, though, that for two separate reasons, Kevin Durant and Michael Rappaport have been heavily featured on Undisputed in the last week. Yes, yes, big time.
Get them together. Get the big gang back together.
You know what? Let's keep it going, though, because I do like Shannon Sharp reading these fake quote boards and taking them as gospel. So just send Shannon Sharp fake quotes about every athlete.
Yes.

It's in the news cycle.

I'm down for that.

See how much he falls for.

Yes.

Then my cool throw is mystery flights.

Ooh.

Do you guys hear about this?

No.

Do you see this?

Read about this?

I did not.

So this is a tweet I saw today.

It says, mystery flights are the next big thing.

Qantas is the latest airline to offer flights to undisclosed locations

providing passengers with clues about what to pack

and teasing itineraries by the airline.

Would you ever book a mystery flight?

I mean, it's all cool places. They need to throw in now I think this place is cool, but, like, it should be, like, Fiji, Paris, France, Youngstown, Ohio.
And it's, like, mystery flight. That would be cool.
I'd be down. And I would rather go to Youngstown than the other two places.
Because you do need a little element of danger in it. Right, exactly.
Otherwise, it's all fun and games. Right.
Where are you going to land? Is it going to be on the Good Bahama Island or the Firefest Island? Yeah, like

Bermuda. Yeah.

Why don't you just go to Firefest?

Firefest, yeah. I was thinking of another island out there.

Oh. Don't want to land.

Don't want to land there. Check the logs.
Yes.

But yeah, it would be funny if it was

just the total gamut.

You can go to Cancun,

you can go to Hawaii, or you can go to Cancun. You can go to Hawaii.

Or you can go to Duluth, Minnesota.

In the middle of winter.

Nice lakes up there.

Yeah.

You're going to do it?

Yeah, I'm down.

I mean, if I can take time off.

Why don't we just do it ourselves?

Why don't we just spin a globe and send you somewhere?

What about Grit Week?

Mystery flight.

Yeah, just spin the globe.

We spin the globe and we put you on a flight somewhere.

I'll go with you.

Thank you. just spin a globe and send you somewhere.
What about Grit Week? Mystery flight. Yeah.
Just spin the globe. We spin the globe and we put you on a flight somewhere.

I'll go with you.

Okay. It would actually be pretty fun.
Yeah.

You want to do it? Sure. Somewhere in the U.S.?

Worldwide.

Just a worldwide. Do you have a weekend? Do the flights leave

from the U.S.? Oh, just a weekend?

Qantas, I think, is... Yeah, but you're not going for a full week.

Overseas airline, is it? Well, it's content.

Yeah, that's true. It is content.

Billy would just show up to the

airport with, like, six cases

I'm going to go to the next one. Yeah, we're not going for a full-time.
Overseas airline, is it? Well, it's content. Yeah, that's true.

It is content.

Billy would just show up to the airport with, like, six cases of Coors Light.

Be like, what, was I not supposed to do that?

It'd also be hilarious if you got on the flight and the mystery flight was once it takes off,

Mystery, the pickup artist, just came and stole everybody's girl.

Yes.

He's got 40 magic tricks ready to go.

He just fucked your wife in front of you.

I like that. All right, PFT, your hot seat, Cooltron? Okay, my hot seat is Jimmy Graham.
Jimmy Graham is on the hot seat. My Washington football team just signed a collegiate basketball player to play tight end.
He's never played football before. I saw this.
His name is Samus Reyes. Great name.
That is a great name. Shady Reyes.
He's 6'6", 260, runs a 4.65. He's Nino Gronk.
He's the baby Gronk, the next baby Gronk, and he's from Chile, too. Adam Shaheen is the next baby Gronk.
He played at Tulane, and this is a guy that immediately, in my mind, he's already a Hall of Famer. It's like, this guy is going to be the diamond in the rough that turns around the entire frame him and more of a hall of famer than julian edelman right now the odds are about equal in my brain but every every franchise every fan has to have that guy that they sign that they put like all the hopes on because there's this like air of mystery behind them yes and right now this is my guy he seems cool he seems like i saw shorts.
Done. He didn't drop him.
Done. I'm all in.
Done. My cool throne is Bills Mafia.
Yeah. Bills Mafia.
They just announced today, congratulations, Buffalo Bills fans, it's going to be full house next year. Mm-hmm.
You're going to have to be vaccinated, but it's going to be full house. I actually think that just spending time in Buffalo, attending B attending bills games if you can show that you've attended 30 bills games in your life you're probably immune to every disease known to man they should give a vaccine they should have the vaccine out of uh pinto ron's uh bowling ball out of the bowling ball just drink it yeah people would everyone in buffalo would be vaccinated yesterday you just fill a ketchup bottle, have somebody stand on top of a van and squirt it down on you.

I think that they would, yes,

it would absolutely 100% work. Make sure

to wipe your dildos off with sanitizing wipes

before you throw them. But I'm very excited.

We saw, I think it was like

20,000 Bills fans in the

stands for the playoffs this year. It sounded like it.

It felt like a full house. Yes.

So I'm very pumped for Bills fans. Alright, my hot seat is our Nuggets.
Remember we were at Nuggets podcast last year for like a minute? So Jamal Murray tore his ACL. Yeah, it sucks.
So the Nuggets are cooked. And that does suck because they actually were like one of those teams.
Like, oh, maybe if they get a nice run going, makes it a little bit easier for LeBron, makes me a little more bummed out. I also just love Jokic, so that sucks.
So are we going to be Jazz fans now? Same team. We got to figure out, yeah, I don't know.
Who in the West do we root for? The Blazers. The Blazers.
They technically swept the Lakers last year. Yeah, the Blazers.
I don't know. We can't be Clippers.
Fuck the Clippers, right? I'm going to cast my lot with the Blazers. I like Dame.
I like CJ. I love CJ and I love how the Blazers play, but I just don't know.
Ooh, we could be Suns guys. Suns, yeah.
Suns guys. Frank Kaminsky.
We could be Suns guys.

That might be the key.

Team bonding.

We need to find out, because the Nuggets were definitely the team that we were going to

probably root for to beat the Lakers.

Now we have to find a new team.

So this is going to be tough.

I'm okay with jumping on the Suns bandwagon.

Yeah, I think, because also the jerseys are sick.

Yeah.

Reminds you of the old days, Dan Marley.

Yeah.

Kevin Johnson. Much like the Suns, we routinely as a podcast get our dicks sucked together.
Like all these things. That's our pregame routine.
Yeah. Right, Jake? Of course.
Oh! Okay. Did Jake know what he just said, of course? I don't think he was listening.
I was listening to The Suns.

Yeah, you don't know what you just said. You don't know what you just said, okay, dude.

No.

Oh, my God.

You're going to have to clip that.

You have no idea?

Pretty much the worst thing you could have said, okay, too.

I was looking back up Hot 2 Cool Thrones.

I know I'm last in line, so I was kind of all over the place.

It's not the only time you're last in line, if you know what I'm saying,

what we're talking about.

Of course. Oh, shit, Jake.
Oh, fuck. All right, my cool throne is baseball because we do officially, I'm ready to call it Ronald Acuna, fully the face of.
Face of baseball already. And maybe, so I think Ronald Acuna is the face.
I think Shohei Otani, I don't know what he would be. The ass, the fork.
Arms. Probably the arms.
The arms of baseball. Juan Soto, probably the quads.
Yeah, yeah. Quads of baseball.
I just think Ronald Acuna. Did you see what he did? So he did, obviously, on Sunday when he beat out the very routine infield hit to shortstop.
And then last night he scored tagging up from third on a pop-up to the second baseman in shallow outfield. Yeah, that wasn't the infield fly rule, right? No.
No, no, no. Yeah, it was pretty sweet.
It was awesome. The dude is insanely fast.
He's everything that I was told billy hamilton would be and he's doing the uh like he's he fucks around with guys you know like hits them in the nuts hits them in the face and they're that we need that's part of it so have fun i i think it also matters the uniform that he's wearing when he's wearing the throwback the hank aaron one yes that at that point he is the face of baseball when he's wearing the normal braves uniform i don't know and i i grew up watching the braves and loving the braves when i was like a little kid and they were always on tbs so i always have a soft spot for those like mid early 90s braves but those jerseys it's tough to be the face of baseball on those jerseys for whatever reason the and he also has uh which i love i if i if i were in major league baseball i would always have this the sliding mitt i fucking love the sliding mitt i it's got to give you an extra what like two or three inches i i was gonna say it's probably like a full second it's crazy no it not only protects you and lets you reach out further i think it actually makes you fast yeah it's awesome i love the sliding mitt all right billy hot seat cool throne um my hot seat humans uh there was like a real life black mirror episode with a robot running around new york that was like working for the government what it's like yeah it's a cop robot yeah cop robot robot robot dog robo dog cop do you respect that robot would you what would you do if you saw that i'm not down with down with robots. Okay.
Yeah. Interesting.
Even if he's wearing the badge? Big corporation building? My cool throne is number one, Heinz Ward. Are you saying all canines are bad? No, just the robo ones.
Wow. Heinz Ward, cool throne, because now I think he's going to end up getting into the Hall of Fame.
He gets a boost, yeah. Yeah, he gets a boost.
Yeah. And then my other cool throne is Shaq because he bought a dude an engagement ring.
Nice. In a jeweler.
And doesn't that mean that technically Shaq's marrying the... I don't know.
Yeah. I don't think so.
Maybe. I don't think that's how it works.
Julio Urias. He should be the chin of baseball.
Ooh, I like that. I like that.
Max Scherzer's the eyes. Yep.
All right.

That was good, Billy.

Thank you.

Jake, last as always.

Yeah.

Slurping up.

Getting slurped last.

Of course.

The hot seat is the...

You still don't know.

No.

Damn.

I wasn't listening.

I'll be honest.

People are going to...

You thought what you said about blind people last week was bad.

I want to share what you said, but I think it's better if you find out for

Thank you. I wasn't listening, I'll be honest.
You thought what you said about blind people last week was bad. I want to share what you said, but I think it's better if you find out for yourself tomorrow.
You need a whole night to think the worst things, and then it's going to be twice as worse as what you think. Yep.
I'll be all right. You do go last, though.
Hot seat. Yes or no? Hot seat is the Arkansas Pine Bluff women's softball team.
It's a good thing you looked up backups. I was going to say.
That was my fuck. I forgot.
I had that written down. North Texas women's softball.
Hope Trotwon threw a perfect game. All 21 strikeouts.
First time in college history. Okay, that's sick.
Pretty cool. Good job, Jake.
And then cool thrownrone. I'll see Jenny Finch.
Yeah. Big time.
Cool Throne are fans of Suite Life of Zack and Cody and Home Alone because Macaulay Culkin and London Tipton had a kid. Whoa.
Frightened the song. Jake, are you finished? Complete.
Okay. Nice.
This is the best episode ever.

I never want it to end.

I want to stay inside of this episode. Just accidentally spit some of the water instead of swallowed it.

Was that good for you, Jake?

Just answer it.

Was it?

Of course.

Okay.

Yeah.

Nice.

You want a cigarette?

Never.

Disgusting.

A little less stressed now that you were able to get those last two hot sequel thrones?

Yep.

Yeah.

I could feel it.

I could see it in your face.

Sometimes you just got to throw out the blueprint and just string one together.

Just put your hands around your back.

You know what?

You just open your mouth and you see what comes out.

Let it go.

Kind of catching on here. Yeah.
Okay. All right.
Let's get to our interview with Bill Burr. Before we do that, PFT, you had a quick word from our friends at? We're going to get right back to the show.
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We help you help you save all right back to part of my take and now here he is bill burr okay we now welcome on our very good friend recurring guest it is bill burr he is getting back out on the road july 2nd it starts starts. Finally, we have comedians returning to all of the arenas and places where we can actually sit and watch comedy.
It feels good to be back. Las Vegas is where it starts.
It's going all the way to December 30th in Phoenix, Arizona. Indianapolis, Atlanta, Minnesota, Kansas City, Pennsylvania, Atlantic City, all those places on the way.
It's great to see you. And it's great that we're actually announcing that you're going to be back on the road.
I'm so excited that we actually have a little return to normalcy. Which stop are you most excited for? Because I know you love arenas and different venues.
Dude, I'm just so happy to do stand-up inside again. like this has been such like it's you know it's been horrible for so many people obviously losing jobs and losing loved ones and stuff but like the one thing that has been kind of fun is i kind of learned how to do hell rooms again like i i had that muscle memory still in me it took a minute but minute.
But like I did a gig for the comedy store right outside the Rose Bowl. You know, they got the golf course.
So they had like 700 cars. And you could maybe hear like 20 people.
And all the headlights were on. It was the most bizarre.
It was really bizarre. But I guess, you know, my buddy was walking around.
So everybody in the cars was laughing. But that's the kind of thing like a year ago, whenever the hell this shit started, if I went right from a theater to that, I would have been on my heels.
I would have imploded. I would have abandoned my act and just done.
But I was able to kind of stay in the pocket of it because there was a few people in pickup trucks

sitting in the beds of their truck.

So it's just sort of playing off to them

as I just looked into this abyss.

Did they at least have the courtesy

to like flash their high beams at you

when they were laughing?

Yeah, they do that.

Honking's a bad idea.

We thought honking was a good thing at first,

but then it becomes,

it's sort of like automotive heckling after a while.

So I did a good thing at first, but then it becomes a it's sort of like automotive heckling after a while. So, yeah.
So I did a gig down Hermosa Beach recently. That was fun.
Like the two days before the friggin clan did their rally down there, which is always, you know, it's funny how people perceive L.A. It's just, you know, the idiots in Hollywood are always running their

yaps and they have big platforms. So people think that that's what's out here.
And it's just like 20 minutes from that liberal lunatic is somebody with a Klan hood. Yeah.
You opened for the Klan, is what you're saying. I was sort of on the Klan weekend.
I was, we eased in, we eased in. I had sort of the white supremacist Aryan haircut.

I mean, that's also in, we eased in. I had sort of the white supremacist Aryan.

I mean, that's, that's also kind of tough for you as a, uh, as a fair skinned individual to

be performing outside all year. Like you probably ran through some sunscreen.

It's at night, but yeah, that's, it's the reason I don't golf. Um, it's the reason I always try

to get baseball tickets under an overhang or any sports.

Yeah, the sun does not like me.

Have you been to a game since they started letting fans back?

Because I know you love going to games.

And we told this story last time you were on.

But pretty much the last game that was normal fans was the LSU-Clemson National Championship

where we were sitting like two rows away from you for the whole entire time without realizing it i know and if there was pandemic seating i probably would have saw you as i was walking down the aisle like right hey there's big cats what's up man um yeah that's crazy right and i i can't believe i didn't get it that i didn't catch covid considering right before the the s hit the fan there i was i was in the uh superdome just jam-packed with people um so anyway i got i just got the second vaccine shot yesterday um didn't get sick either time just had like a sore arm felt a little weird for a couple hours and then i was good I'm trying to regret all of this shit that people are saying about that Johnson and Johnson thing I love how six out of a million six out of a million and people freak out but they still play the lottery like they like those odds they'll still vape yeah with cigar smokers they're like you know you're not inhaling it you're fine they're just smoking like two a day you know what it is when they rolled out the and even then just because six people got it you know i had these bleeds or whatever they still recalled it like that's how safe it is how many crown victorious with the gas station and gas tank in the wrong area burned people alive alive when they got rear-ended before they finally moved that thing.

So I just want them to be like, from the people that cured polio and every other plague before this.

The people who saved you from your ruptured appendix comes.

You can say that they cured polio, but in the same breath, you have to mention that the Johnson family also owns the Jets. So not everything that they touch turns to gold.
True. Listen, if I learn anything in life, everybody's a little flawed.
That's true. It is funny that you bring that up because the initial reaction when I see it, I haven't gotten the vaccine yet, but I was planning on getting Johnson & Johnson.
I'm like, ooh, maybe I won't get that one won't get that one and then like my uh car like two years ago they sent me something in the mail being like hey we recalled a piece you got to bring it in asap and i was like fuck that i'm not bringing it in i'm just gonna try to keep driving this thing it's very stupid we are very stupid people well it's it's i i am a firm believer that they, they should, there should no longer be 24 hour news networks because just the sheer panic of having to fill up all that time. It's what happened to ESPN.
When ESPN, ESPN was the dream. Imagine if they had a 24 hour sports network and then they did, and they actually used to show sports and stuff the whole day.
They would show random stuff during the day from around the world. It was like MTV.
They used to show music, right? Then I don't know what happened. They just, they expanded ESPN2, the college one, whatever the hell that one is.
And then I think with streaming services and the internet, now everybody just has to scream like Chicken Little and act like the sky is falling over everything. I just find that CNN and Fox News, they should be tried for treason.
All they do is divide the locker room. I agree with that.
Yeah. Republicans and Democrats could have debates, but it didn't go the way it's going now.
It's insane just it's insane do you know what do you know what happened at espn uh magnus von magnuson retired because i remember that was always the thing the world's strongest men they would put on world's strongest men for like 10 hours a day all day during the day and that was the best you just watch they have pool sharks on yeah you just soda fats and willie musoscone i love that stuff yeah you just watch a fucking huge ass dude lift a rock and put it up on like a uh you know a pedestal and that's way better than a debate show that debates the same thing over and over they also had uh sort of weird aerobic shows yes during the day there was a guy i remember with black curly hair he'd be on the beach and then there was one uh body i want to say like one of those body shaping yeah body shaping and there was like one of those brooke burke type chicks like the hot chick doing the you just sit there like eating chips just watching her doing yeah aerobics that was my first experience being horny yeah i was like five years old watching body before kindergarten. I was like, I don't know why, but I really like this show now.
Yeah. I'm a body shaper.
You know where they really lost their way? I was a body shaper. Yeah.
They lost their way when they canceled Playmakers. Did you ever watch Playmakers? I vaguely remember that.
I just used to like to watch the games. And then I loved SportsCenter.
And I loved when they would throw their jokes in and and um you know Berman of course with all the nicknames and stuff it was sort of like like right through the 90s sort of the mid 90s the 80s into the 90s it was unbelievable it was the greatest channel I would I would watch SportsCenter on a loop I would watch the same one like five times in a row like my favorite episode of Seinfeld

well and it would

the thing that really ruined it and it's not

ESPN's fault is that

you basically can get all the highlights right away

we were kind of talking about the same thing

but like as children of the 90's

PFT and I

SportsCenter was like oh I want to watch

the highlight you can't there's no package you don't get to

watch every game you watch SportsCenter you get to see everything I want to watch the highlight. You can't.
There's no package. You don't get to watch every game.
You watch SportsCenter. You get to see everything.
It was appointment television for that exact reason. Yeah, and ESPN killed the This Week in Baseball type shows.
Yeah. Because for the most part, all you would get as a Boston fan, I'd get the Red Sox and maybe some game that mattered if we were in a race with the Yankees or the Brewers when they were in our division back in the day.
You get a little bit of those highlights. But I used to watch Inside the NFL.
Yeah, Inside Stuff, NBA Inside Stuff with Ramadur Shad. This week in baseball.
Then hockey's always like the ugly duckling. They kept trying to have those.
I'm sure they had them up in Canada. And I remember how insane it was.
When I first started doing the road, I used to sit mainly in the outfield because most of the highlights that Mel Allen was showing were home runs. When I went to the Kingdome, I remember how they used to hit a home run.
You see those people running along that little aisle that ran parallel to the outfield. I was like, I want to do that.
Ken Griffey Jr. was still in center field back then.
So I went to a lot of those ones before they tore him down. But anyway, somehow we got to that.
That's good though, on a sports show. It went from the vaccine to talking about the kingdom.
Are the sports reporters where you had John Saunders, Mitch Albom, and like Mike Lupica, usually just, they would just sit around and compete to see who could tell the oldest story. Yeah.
Like who remembers the oldest thing in this room but their opinions were like gospel for some stupid reason it was kind of before anyone you know i mean obviously i think it's better now that everyone fans are a lot smarter numbers all these things but you'd sit there and watch these old guys and be like yeah you know what like he muhammad ali is it's muhammad ali number one and secretary at number two for greatest athletes of all time do you think we're smarter as fans we definitely have access to more information but the thing is whatever you're working with is what you're working with and like whatever brain you were given so if you're a moron you can read as I actually think, like, to a certain point, overloading dumb people with a lot of statistics makes them dumber. It just makes them more confident in their ideas and their conclusions they were going to reach anyways.
Yeah. You know what my favorite thing is? Is when a dumb person takes mushrooms and then they, when they, after their trip, they feel like they're smarter and they try to explain the universe to you.
It's just like, yeah, you're not smarter. You're just a dumb guy that was tripping.
Yeah, I feel very seen right now. You should listen to my podcast, Joe.
I think fans are – so it's an interesting question because I think fans have more tools. They have more information.
But I also think that what's happened happened with sports and we talk about this all the time but you like forget that it's sports and you forget like the human nature of it so it becomes a number and it becomes the alabama ucla game was a perfect example where we were joking about it you know we had nate oats on before uh the game and he's talking about how there's a four-point line and they don't if you shoot a mid-range jump shot in practice it's only worth one point and then what happens is Alabama they lose the game on the free throw line which is a mid-range jumper and UCLA hits a bunch of mid-range shots and it's like oh yeah so I think his way probably will work overall like if you do do it forever, it will eventually win out. But yeah, in a one game situation, it probably hurt them a little bit that they never practice mid range jumpers.
The fundamentals. That's interesting.
You know, it's funny. I actually, um, my pick to win it all.
And I didn't watch any college hoop. I just, I just picked Michigan just cause I got used to have family out there, my grandparents.
Um, so I picked them and it didn't work out. So I lost money to Verzi, my buddy.
So he picked Gonzaga, right? So when they were playing Baylor, I saw Metta World Peace and Metta World Peace gave me the heads up. He was doing commentary.
He goes, I feel like in this matchup that Baylor is the hip hop team and Gonzaga is the rock and roll team. And I was like, I know what that means.
I know what that means. Not bet on these white boys, even though Gonzaga wasn't really a white team.
I knew what he was talking about. And then I looked at, at, at Baylor and they had like three guys that were built like a young Larry Johnson.
I was just like, all right, F this. And I put like 50 bucks.
Can you swear on this? You can't say bitch. I was wondering why you said S out of.
You know what? Half of it is I didn't know. And the other half is I got kids now and they get on me.
So I was actually going to ask you about Gonzaga because I feel like that was a game that probably drew your attention, especially to Timmy, the guy that had the mustache. You're going to ask me about my green smoothie because I'm an old man.
No, you're just Hollywood Bill. That was expected.
I was wondering why you weren't drinking your green juice earlier. Yeah, we've had you on for so many years that we've seen the transition where you gave up drinking like two years ago.
We just expect this now. You're in your yoga studio right now, which looks lovely.
7.30 to midnight are the hardest hours of my day. But I'm just sitting there alone with my own thoughts.
When it came to Drew Timmy and his mustache, did you see him doing the stash celebration when they were losing by 15 points? Because I watched that, and I actually thought in that moment, if Bill Burr is watching this, he is fucking pissed off right now on his television to see that guy celebrating. What is the stash celebration? He had the Fu Manchu, when he dunks, he'll go like this.
And they were down by 15 points in the second half. He was doing the stash celebration.
He would probably argue that that gets me into my game. That's part of my ritual, like Nomar with the gloves and stuff.
I don't know. I have no idea, but I will.
Yeah, that is weird. Like wrong emotional.
Like that happens so much in football. Yeah.
A corner will, you know, lay out a receiver or something like that or do something. After two touchdowns have already been thrown on his side of the field, they're down by like 21.
They're not going to win the game. But they know.
I think that they've learned. They're Hollywood now.
think athletes are hollywood they know that this is going to be on sports center so if i if i score a bucket or a touchdown add a little put a little mustard on it do a little dance i got a bigger chance of uh getting a little i don't know yeah yeah yeah um we had this uh debate on the show today and we have to ask you is julian edelman a hall of famer oh god i can't tell you last time i look at stats i will say that's better that's better that's better that you didn't look at stats i'll say this about him whenever we needed a first down whenever we needed a big play somehow somehow that guy got open. And I would say that catch that he had against Atlanta, where he split those two corners and caught it like an eighth of an inch off the turf is – I would – sorry, it's my phone.
I would put that arguably, you know, one of the greatest Super Bowl catches of all time. I mean, I'm thinking only the Lin Swan one just because it's a classic degree of difficulty.
I mean, I look at him like he was on the modern day Steelers of the 70s. And he was our Swan or Stallworth.
And both of those guys are in. I know a lot lot I don't know what his career numbers are I I saw them quickly yesterday I think you'd need at least like what like five figures in the 10,000s or whatever but um I don't know he had a ton of playoff yardage I don't care man the guy's won three he gave us three Super Bowls I hope he I put him in there there you go into can't and I've seen a ton of playoff yardage.
I don't care, man. The guy's won three.
He gave us three Super Bowls. I hope he – I put him in there.
There you go. I'm going to Canton.
I've seen a lot of people in there that I couldn't believe got in there. So maybe, yeah.
All right. I mean, I like – See, if it was baseball, if it's baseball, they're so cunty, they wouldn't put him in.
But I think he definitely has a shot. He's got the James Worthy, big game James vibe.
Yeah, Robert Orr. Robert Orr.
Exactly. He passes the eyeball test.
We were saying earlier, he has a lot of moments. He has a lot of signature plays that you remember.
And you can't tell the story of football without telling the story of Julian Edelman. Yeah.
And did he throw more touchdowns than Walter Payton? That's what I want to know. He also had that.
He also had that ability. Right.
Probably. He did throw a couple at at least right isn't it amazing that walter payton ran for all those yards never had a major knee injury or anything like that yet somehow those kangaroo turf shoes went out of business yeah yes it's true because that's like that should be like the um what were the other shoes that someone – The jump soles.

No, no.

I'm trying to think of – there was someone –

Grand Hill.

Grand Hill almost lost his career wearing Fila.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, he did.

Derek Rose took down Adidas for a minute there because it was like he kept on getting ankle injuries,

and he was Adidas' number one athlete.

And Zion Williamson tanked Nike stock by like 3% two years ago when he stepped out of his shoe yes yes single-handedly did that yeah uh bill i i have to tell you i watched your performance on saturday night live a few months ago and it was awesome it was it was one of those things where like everybody on the internet felt strongly about it one way or the other and i know that you kind of you have to have like a little bit of a chip on your shoulder sometimes when you go on stage. Because I saw that you made fun of K-pop the other day.
And when you go at BTS, that's like the worst fan base. I don't even know what K-pop is.
It was like BTS and the Korean pop bands. I made fun of them? Yeah.
Yeah. You got to understand that making fun of shit is my job.
I don't even remember the stuff. I don't even remember half the stuff that I say.
I do a podcast by myself, no guests. So I just, I'm looking at news.
I just, I make fun of everything. Right.
No, I get it. I'm just saying like going after K-pop is, you do have a death wish if you do that.
They're by far like the strongest fandom on the internet did i go did i do that recently i think i think you said made like an offhanded remark at the grammys this is no i didn't this is the best because you you are uh like kind of impervious no no no i i i introduced the latino and like in classical music yeah and you got like the The internet tried to cancel you and you just don't even respond, which I think is the greatest. They actually didn't.
It was actually a bunch of people who were saying they were sick of cancel culture that was keeping that going. So you're trending for the, this we, this actually goes back to the Julian Edelman.
I actually wasn't trending. They were just using me as a way so everybody could talk, act like they had a mohawk.
And they don't give a fuck about canceled culture, man. I don't pay attention to any of it.
I tweet about games. I'll tweet if I'm watching a game.
Yep. And I'll write something self-deprecating.
But other than that, I don't really post videos. It just creeps me out when it goes, can we have access to your pictures and videos? It's like forever.
Are you going to be like, like, I don't know. I just feel like there's always this fine print to that stuff.
So, but I just, I ignore all of that shit because I know where my heart is. I'm not really, if I really said something malicious and, and, and meant it like trying to hurt somebody, I would be on social media following it.
But if it's just, you know, the silliness of that. And then, then there's a bunch of women on there that are giving like regular rationally minded feminists, like my wife, a bad name.
They'll see it, not even know what it is. one woman wrote is the funniest shit ever she goes this is why all white men need to be white males need to be kept in cages that was one of my favorite and that's just one of those things it's like you know if i said some shit like that yeah but that's funny i actually i think we need to laugh more about shit like that like no i definitely think it's funny but it's like my thing is the only reason why i'm kind of teasing her a little bit is like if i said that the exact same thing and just substitute male for female then i would be she she would try to ruin my career but like i don't know i do find it funny white women talking about like how like acting like they are so oppressed when you you see like they can really kind of do whatever they want.
They can kind of say whatever they want, because if you don't fit the narrative. Yeah.
Like, which is essentially what these jerk offs are paying attention to. Like, you know, as they sit there, you know, we're looking for people that are in positions of power that are abusing it.
And it's like, yeah, unless they have a vagina, they have a vagina. They can kind of do like they can be this big asshole ever.
You don't care. Although that's not true.
I have a friend of mine got canceled for a fucking analogy. Who's that? I don't want to say the name because I don't like digging it back up.
Yeah, that's fair. She's got it going again.
I don't want to say the name because i don't like digging it back up yeah yeah that's fair she's got it going again i don't want to pick the scab but it's just one of those things like i kind of proven her point here i think though that you like as a whole we should all just laugh about everything like that person if someone says oh yeah all white men deserve to be in cages, I should be like, that's the greatest parody of all time.

That's hilarious.

Dude, when you want to say laughing about stuff, I remember one time speaking of the Klan. Speaking of the Klan, that's a great clip right there.
Cut that out. Bill Burd today.
Speaking of the Klan. I remember one time there was this clip on the Internet.
and they were marching down the street

and there was some guy on the internet and they were

marching down the street and there was some guy walking parallel to them

along the sidewalk, playing a tuba and playing like,

and just made them look like the complete jerk offs that they are.

And it was like, I feel like that type of thing combats it so much more than yelling and screaming. And I shouldn't even said those fucking jerk offs because that will get their back up and dig in more.
But like, if you just sort of laughed more at stuff like that, I think it's that it just you there's no like i mean no i don't know maybe i'm probably i'm probably oversimplifying this no i think to to an extent is it like a little bit of an oversimplification but what you're saying i think is true where it's like if you see people that you don't like yelling at somebody there are certain subsets of people that are going to be like I'm going to join that side because the people I already don't like are mad at them. You know, they see that as their home.
Whereas if you're just making fun of them, it kind of takes all the allure out of anybody wanting to join that side out of like, you know, being like giving a big fuck you to the people they already don't like. Yeah, I think, yeah, people are really complex.
And it doesn't take much for people to see something that triggers something from their childhood. And then they're just going to be a contrarian for fucking contrarian sake.
I will tell you that, you know, they were talking about reparations for African-Americans that some state or something was finally doing it. And of course, some white guy has to chime in.
He goes, yeah, all they need is a time machine. I just wish I could find that person like this latest guy where he's literally dressed in military fatigues.
We've been doing nothing but blowing the troops for 20 years. I support the troops, hooking them up with seats, announcing it.
Everybody's supporting the troops. He is in that uniform and he's still treated the way he's just like you don't need a time machine.
I wish more people could kind of I don't know. There's something about human beings that we just get on teams.
Rather than just taking yourself out and just looking at something and being like, is this right? Is this wrong? And like those white people, they go, just comply. I love that one.
It's just like, they tried that. The relationship has been broken down and it's not their fault and they don't trust them.
And then it just sort of fucking escalates. It's really horrible to watch and i these fucking white people that chime in and give black people advice as though they're living a white life is uh you know that's the kind of shit where you're like oh i get why people wouldn't take a vaccine i understand this the the we were talking about it on monday is something totally different but we were we were basically boiling it down to like if you if you look at the internet and you look at everyone every subsect on the internet it essentially boils down to people just looking for friends and they just want a community so if they find someone who has one opinion that's like theirs they'll hop in and be like yeah this is our opinion now i do that yeah we're all just i have friends i i just i exist this is what look at.
Old trucks. I watch animals killing each other, you know, elk versus bear, whatever.
I watch all of that shit. I used to watch fight videos, but I just, there's just too many sucker punches.
Yeah. I hate, I hate that stuff.
And then also once a guy's knocked out the continued hitting, it's just like, come on. Yeah.
I hate I hate that stuff. And then also, once a guy's knocked out the continued hitting, it's just like, come on, you won the fight.
It's over. So, yeah, I existed in a very small part of the Internet.
And then I watch videos on aviation. yeah yeah okay so you want to talk aviation last night i was watching some uh

some gulf war fighter like some dogfights that took place there. I don't know what it is about watching those things, but they get my blood going.
I get amped up if I just watch an airplane take off off of a carrier. Well, just think of how scared you get during turbulence on a Southwest flight.
Now imagine you're in a plane and somebody's trying to shoot it out of the sky. Another plane is, I mean, I can't, there was a great, this book called Flyboys and George Herbert Walker, the first Bush told this story of like, you know, he was like 19, learned how to fly.
And he'd go on these missions knowing every time he might not come back and you come back and your roommate didn't and you had to like block that out and he was talking about how you would go out you get into these fights drop your bombs or whatever get into dog fights and when you came back he said you'd be so in shock of what just happened like he landed one time on an aircraft carrier, and one of the higher-ups said, how you doing, son? And he opened his mouth, and no words came out. And he goes, that's all right, son.
Go down to sickbay. And he goes, you go down to sickbay, and they give you like two fingers of scotch or three fingers of scotch, and you take a belt.
And he goes, the funny thing is, is it worked. And then it kind of brought you around.
And just to think, to just do that once, to just do the fact that then the next day, he knows that this could happen again and again and again and again. And these guys were 19 years old.
And then you fast forward today and you see people like, I don't want to wear a mask. I'm breathing my own carbon monoxide or carbon dioxide, not monoxide, carbon dioxide.
Um, it's kind of funny. We've gotten, uh, I'm including myself.
Like I'm, I'm pretty soft. You know, are you a guy that, that'll like compliment the pilot on a landing, like casually on the way out the door? Because I've, I've always wanted to be that guy, but I'm never confident enough in judging the the landing as it happens so i'm concerned when i go by it might not have been a good landing i'm like hey nice landing if you didn't die and they didn't break the plane it's a fucking great landing because you also don't know what they're dealing with they can be coming in at the last second you know you have enough feeling when you're coming in like sideways they're like yes and you got like 300 people and your own life on the line.
I don't know how they do that. The last second they turn it like this.
Sometimes if the wind changes or something, they've got to – I don't know shit about planes, but they've got to set it down hard. They don't have the options that a helicopter has.
We should honestly clap more. I know that it's always ridiculous whenever we land, like when a plane lands.
No clapping. I hate that.
No, we should clap more. I do like the clap.
Why not? It's incredible that we landed. It puts you all on the same team, Bill.
You're over here complaining about how nothing's unified anymore. When an entire plane gives a round of applause for a safe landing, you feel like you're all in this together.
All right, fair enough. But I can't I will tell you this like douche chills.
I actually also feel it's disrespectful to the pilot that you have. You know what I mean? Would you clap if, you know, Jordan was just doing a shoot around? Yeah.
Yeah, definitely. What about what about the end of movies? Yeah.
What about the end of movies? I'll clap at the end of a movie sometime if it's great. I mean, yeah.
Listen, if we're in ridiculous turbulence, okay, and I think I'm going to die and that guy lands it, oh yeah, I'm fucking... I'll go nuts.
Have you ever clap at a movie in your own house? But if it's a sunny fucking day, I mean, let's not get crazy. First of all, those fucking guys, by their second turn, they already got it on autopilot after you started.

And they're up there shooting the shit. They take naps up there.
So? Clap for autopilot. Clap for the technology.
Well, you find me the person that invented it and then the person that installed it. I'll do that.
Okay. Have you ever watched those videos where they do the sideways landing into the wind shear? Those videos I feel like you would really enjoy.
I just watched one recently where a guy got into uh instrument weather and his pitot tube which is what the air goes into it it controls your altimeter your uh vertical airspeed and your airspeed and he was in the clouds and he forgot to put the heater on because he flies in texas he was going across country he didn't think to him that he iced it up. So he gets himself into IF and he loses all those gauges.
And it's the fucking alarms going off and he has to remain calm. Dude, I was sitting there.
I mean, I knew he lived because it was his video, but I was just sitting there like my palms were sweating. I don't do well with that and I don't do well with people walking, those trapeze people with no net like that on a wire.
Do you ever saw that documentary? Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, I knew he

survived, but like, I just was like, I wanted to jump out of my own skin watching that shit.

So I watch a lot of videos because I'm trying to get my instrument rating right now. I watch a lot

of videos of people, uh, you know, flying in instrument weather and stuff. It's really, really fascinating.

Wait,

so when you do get

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and you land a plane and you land a plane and you land a plane and you land a plane and you land a plane and you land a flying in instrument weather and stuff. It's really, really fascinating.
Wait, so when you do get instrument rated and you land a plane with somebody else in it, do you want them to applaud for you? No, I fly helicopters and helicopters aren't rated anyways to fly in instrument weather because they're inherently unstable where a plane is stable. So you'd have to have like a really expensive one that has autopilot for it to get rated.

And, uh, I'd have to be, uh, making Tom Cruise money.

So what is it about watching videos like that?

Cause I, I'm the same way.

I don't like Heights.

I don't like the man on wire documentary.

I, I hate watching the Russian bridge walking videos that are everywhere where they're the

people just climb up a structure. Yeah.
Like the 15 year old kids hanging off. I hate, I hate it, but I watch them and I hate it while I watch it.
What is that? Like, what does that say about you that you love watching these videos that you hate? No, I don't watch them. I don't watch.
I watched, I'm not going to watch some kid just hanging off that or jumping from one part, one building to another building. I don't want to watch that, but like there was, I never heard the story of that guy on the wire and it fascinated me.
And I said to myself, well, I know he lives. So there's no reason to get nervous, but like, I'm one of those people like I don't, I don't go to horror movies cause I just buy in.
I take the ride every time they scare the shit out of me. I remember when, um, biggest one I remember coming up was like Blair Witch.
And there was so many people like, that movie's dumb. That movie didn't scare me at all.
I was just like, ah, I, I saw it alone on the midnight showing after a set at the laugh factory and it scared the shit out of me. Um, so yeah, I, I, I don't watch shit that I don to watch i uh i see on the opposite i like to watch the like if i know the plane's gonna crash i'll watch it i don't know why that's fucked up of me i know it's fucked up of me but like uh skydivers i watch those videos yeah or skydivers like i don't watch that oh yeah i watch it.
It's probably very fucked up to admit out loud. But like those things, those obviously I watch more out of like the gawking.
And then my internet is essentially like if you show me a puke video, I'll laugh no matter what. Anytime someone pukes, I'm laughing.
You know what's crazy? If you were actually there and you saw a guy skydive and the chute didn't open and he bounced, that be so fucking traumatic correct correct but you watch it on video i have to think that there's a little bit of there's always a price to pay yeah so like i feel like um you know it's like watching porn like i probably want i you know watched it almost every day for like 15 years in a row i know that did psychological damage just because stuff that was like oh my god that's fucking horrific on the line just keeps getting moved there and then you just i found myself in the end just watching it laughing like looking at like tropes in porn yeah no there's there's i read an article a couple. It might have been a couple of years ago about the team on Facebook that removes sensitive images and videos and how they all have like legit PTSD.
Like they have they have psychological issues because they've been watching that stuff constantly. I don't go seek it out.
Let me let me be on the record here. seek it out hey nobody's coming at you no one's coming at me when it's like i'll be watching like a skydive thing and it'll be like on instagram like do you want this sensitive info you know you know how it has the warning i always love the warning to me give it to me i want it give it to me what i do is then i look at the comments and if i see one that says, yeah, that dude's dead, I don't watch it.
That's smart. Yeah, see, I usually watch that shit.
Fuck. I used to watch, like, I remember distinctly going on a vacation one time, and they had the faces of death videos in the house that we were renting.
And we put it in. And it was tough to get through.
i even like to this day i can remember every single

thing that i saw and yeah it does fuck with you to a certain extent yeah we rented that at the

before there was a blockbuster we rented uh you know at the local video store we rented one of

those some of it was bullshit a lot a lot of it was like i gotta think real we thought it was real

anyway it was fucking horrific and i remember that night my mother made lasagna and i almost

puked when i saw you know yeah that's with you forever sauce and meat i was like oh god oh man um all right so we're gonna get right back to the show whether you're a home, so you mentioned your podcast which i listened to is there you're just rambling to yourself is there ever a moment where you're like what am i doing it like is anyone even recording this because you could at times you could probably you could probably just do it forever and never hit record and it would be therapeutic yeah i always yeah i definitely think uh yeah the voices are definitely going it's just funny does anybody care there's all of that i don't know it's it's incredible that you're like i always listen whenever i listen to someone who does a solo podcast i'm amazed at their ability to keep the conversation going and not have it feel awkward.

And I'm like, man, I would like five minutes in.

I'd be like, who the fuck am I talking to?

But you wouldn't have to do an hour the first time.

You just do five.

It's like building a comedy act.

You don't just come out like I have to do an hour.

You know, just five minutes, seven minutes, nine minutes, 13.

You just next thing you know, people, you know, people write. I get to read advertisements.
People write in questions. But there's no one in the room.
That's the part. Like if there was one person in the room who was looking at you and like laughing or like nodding along, that's at least something.
Right. There's times when there's just literally you're just talking to yourself.
So that's what I'm thinking because when I used to do more writing, I would know if I was doing a good job because sometimes I would be able to make myself laugh and take like a little pause. If I wasn't making myself laugh, I was like, this sucks.
But when you're just speaking into a microphone, you don't have that opportunity to just like stop and laugh at yourself or like feel that what you're doing is funny. So like are there ever No, I laugh.
If I say something crazy, I'll laugh. But also when I upload it, I have a tendency to listen to the first 20 minutes almost every time.
So I kind of get a sense. It's almost because I never listen to stand-up sets.
So it's kind of good I get a sense of my pacing, if I'm going too fast, if there's things that I felt, if I was in a bad mood and something, oh man, that sounds worse than the way I was thinking it, which is something you really have to watch out for, you know, when you're joking around is, is it, you got to make sure you're in sort of a happy, playful mood. Yeah.
Because even though you're still joking, it won't come off that way and uh then you know the hairy leg chicks get all upset it is it is crazy how much the mood that you're in at that time translates to an audience and how quickly they can pick up on that you're absolutely right yeah if you if someone's on stage having fun like the crowd will get into it unless they were already animals and maniacs and stuff. But, uh, yeah, there's definitely, there, there's, there are things in my act that if I am in a bad mood, they could take, it becomes a completely different vibe.
The whole set just, it just, it just kind of feels like you need a shower afterwards. Like the fuck happened.
So, uh, but with, but that's something you have to learn as a comedian. So I've learned that.
So I, and when I start to feel that I can kind of stop it as it's happening now where before, you know, shit, when I was back in New York and I was sleeping on a futon, I i had nobody in my life i could have like a whole week of shows like that um it just you know in new york was a little it was different back then where you know um i don't know new york beats you up in a different way now it's sort of becoming like uh the the dubai of uh fucking there's just a level of money. It was always ridiculously high.
Now I go out there, it's just like, there's not even a shithole in Manhattan anymore that you can move into. Everything looks like these glass towers.
I don't know where all that money's coming from. So going back to what you were just talking about, I kind of see that in the SNL set that you did, the opening monologue.
You were like smiling while saying all these things, and it was fucking hilarious. And I also think about the lotion joke that you did.
You were talking about how white people don't know that their skin's always itchy because they just need lotion. You had to wait until you're like 35.
And then the punchline, when you like close that out, if you had said that with like a frown or face or like seeming angry, you're right. Like the crowd would have turned on you in an instant, but instead they were all laughing along with you.
Did you have to, do you have to like meditate before a show? Do you have to think happy thoughts to make sure you're projecting like a positive energy? No, but I definitely try not to be thinking anything when I go on stage. I was just talking to somebody about that.
A lot of times when I go on stage, as I'm walking to the mic, I'm just, I'm singing a dumb song that doesn't even exist just to empty my head. So I'm not thinking of anything.
So I can kind of just start like, I don't know. It's, it's like, if, if I go like, I'm starting with this joke joke and then the joke, I walk out there and I'm between my ears.
And then I'm just up there like, hey, how is everybody doing? I feel like a robot. So I'll kind of like just walk up to the mic like, doing this again.
What the fuck's wrong with me? Hey, what's up, everybody? Just sort of of like just doing that. It's also a stupid song.

It doesn't rhyme and I can't sing. So it puts me in a stupid mood, a silly mood.
And, um, yeah, then I, I get into like that sort of mood and then I'm having fun. They'll have fun.
And then, yeah, the more sort of lighthearted and silly you are, the, um, the, it kind of opens up what you can talk about.

Yeah.

I would.

And then the other side is you want a nice mix of people in the crowd. You know, like the lotion bit, it helps if it's not in front of an all white crowd, because they're not going to know what I'm talking about.
It has some racial vibe to it. And then, you know, there's people out there that don't know the difference between a joke about race and a racist joke.
I remember that a long time ago, these idiots were on this website and they go, the reason why Bill gets away with doing racist jokes is because they're so goddamn... And I said, buddy, I'm not doing race.
I'm doing jokes about race. That's what I was actually doing that joke about going up to Harlem to see the woman who's now my wife.
And that joke was literally just a fish out of water. And, you know, white guy goes up to Harlem back when Harlem was, you know, well, Dan Annaman used to have a joke back in the day said 96th street is the last street a white guy can legally live.
And then it just it changed like that. So it was a joke about that, but these people wrote it and they said, rather than saying it was about race.
And that's when I was young too. So of course I was like mortified, like going, oh my God, everyone's going to think I'm racist now.
And then I learned like, oh no, this is just this little dumb website. And this is just a handful of people.
So I kind of learned, that's another reason why I don't like read comments and shit. Like if I put something out, what I do is I read until the first one that hammers me, right? And I'll be like, all right, when like, you know, 10, 15 comments, that's pretty good for the internet.
That's pretty good. All right.
So I think it's doing all right. Then I wait for my reps to call me to say like, you know, hey, you got to push that more or it's doing great or whatever.
Yeah, it's like playing press your luck. Yeah, I like that.
You keep playing until you hit the whammy and then close out. Yeah, that's it.
Somebody craps out and I just take my money off the table. It also is an impossible thing to tell, especially people who are, like, maybe just starting out in podcasting or whatever it may be to like don't read the comments never read the comments because we all read the comments when we were starting and then eventually you get to a point where you have the confidence where you're like hey i don't need to read the comments all the time and that totally changes your perception but i think everyone i have to live through it i have a lot of empathy for younger people that are coming up with the level of just scrutiny and just like how like as mean as hecklers were when I came up, they would, nobody would like, it wasn't the level of me.
It's on the internet because you're removed. It's like, like the shit that people will say about pro fighters.
It's like, you would never say this if they were in the room. So there is, so I really feel bad for like a lot of younger performers because you're so young.
You're so, you don't have any, you start to build walls. Like you can't fucking hurt me, you know? Yeah.
People like that. And like, but when I was young, I was just sitting there, you know, head right on a t for you to drive down the fairway and i just can't imagine these kids nowadays when they come up that there's that level of uh like it's just people just taking their childhood out on you yeah no it it i actually think like it it happens at barstool sports a lot too now because i think back to like you know eight years ago when it was it really was only like you know 10 of us and it was a little club and it was the people who were it was a community now we're so much bigger someone shows up and gets hired and they're just fucking out to the wolves instantly like they just get smoked instantly i don't know how they i don't know how they come back from that creatively and.
And you have such a passionate fan base that anybody knew is just going to get like. Right.
They have like half a second to prove themselves, I would think. But you guys have been such a fun thing to watch.
My favorite thing was whenever anybody would try to come at you guys. And I thought that the whole way that they didn't understand you guys and the whole way they just – there was this really weird shift on the left where they became everything that they claimed the right to be, these certain segments of them where it was just like, oh, these are guys that are into sports and like hot chicks.
Therefore, they're this, this, this, and this, and this is all toxic.

My favorite thing was when that idiot said that your female CEO was there in name only. Yeah.
He came back like, I grew this business by 80%. He was actually being sexist.
And once again, because it didn't fit the narrative, how come that guy didn't get taken out? it all it all goes back to the fact that the people that run a lot of the media companies and a lot of people that write at other media companies just hate our boss just like on a personal level. And so then therefore everything else that happens over here is bad, no matter how much they would agree with it or not agree with it.
But they it says a lot about you. If you hate a self-made man, that shows that you can start from nothing and still grow it into what you guys are all doing over there.
Like there's certain people that look at that and they get inspired by it. And then there's these other people.
I don't know what kind of people they are, but they see it and they want to ruin it. They want to it's uh that's that's the change that i've had at least mentally because it used to bother me so much and then i was like you know what i'm gonna keep doing what i do for the people that like it and the people who don't like it will never like it and they'll always hate me and it just is what it is this is what i take comfort in i have two friends of mine that think the beatles are over.
So I just look at it like if the Beatles are getting shit. Yeah, that's true.
I'm pretty sure my truckload of shit is coming. So it just comes with the territory.
And like, you know, I don't read it. I try not to read it.
Don't respond to it. It just is.
It's sort of a new, it's like a new sport. Like when Frisbee football came out, another new sport is just going on the internet and trying, oh, look at this guy made his dream or this woman made her dream come true.
Let's see if we can end it. That's it.
It is true. That's how I fill myself up as a human being is I try to end other people's dreams.
I mean, honestly, it's a lot easier to do that. So I can see in the short term, like, yeah, you get a couple quick dunks off, you start feeling good about yourself.
Yeah. Yeah.
Why am I not happy? I spend all day just shitting on things and trying to pick people apart online. Why am I not fulfilled in my life? That's my favorite.
I'm not saying I've got life figured out. No, none of us do.
I mean, you're opening up for the Klan. There's a reason why I binge drank the way I did.
It wasn't because I was a happy guy. Yeah, and now you've got smoothies.
But, Bill, this has been awesome. We appreciate it.
Everyone go. If you are in one of the cities that Bill's going to be in, make sure you out there comedy is back Bill Burr's back on the road like I said he's going to start in Vegas he ends in Phoenix he's going to be hitting everywhere in between I got Red Rocks Red Rocks is a big one oh hell yeah sounds awesome hell yes go out come out to a Colorado State game and then go go to the show have you have you ever performed at Red Rocks before? You know, I did a, for Wendy at the Comedy Works, I did a thing where there was an animated short festival because it isn't just like huge bands.
They have like all these cool movies. You can go to movie night there and stuff, as far as I know.
So they hired her to bring some comics out to do a little bit of stand-up right before these animated movies.

So I performed in front of a bunch of animation fans that had no idea who I was,

and it didn't go well.

So the answer to your question is, yes, I have, and I didn't have a good set.

It's a great venue, though.

I want to go out there.

I bet you the mountains are so blue in Colorado.

Yes, yes, absolutely.

Well, if you guys want to go, let me know.

Let me know.

I'll hook you up.

I love it.

I'm sorry. it's a great venue though i want to go out i bet you the mountains are so blue in colorado yes yes absolutely but uh yeah if you guys want to go let me know let me know i'll hook you up i love it i love it well thank you bill it's always a pleasure always fun to have you on and uh good luck on the tour all right i hope to see you in person in a mask-free world yeah all right guys we'll see you thank you bill we're gonna get right back to the show.
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Taxes, tips, and fees extra. All right, back to part of my take.
Okay, let's do some FAQs. I almost used cap correctly there, but I'm staying out.
I'm staying out of it. No cap, you almost staying out no cap you almost used it correctly I know when I'm beat but here's the thing you don't have to say cap all you have to do is just fire off the memes the memes are really what's the attractive part alright I'm fine with the memes I'm a meme-a-holic just if you see somebody capping online that part just...
That part, I just, yeah. I just...
I can't... I don't know.
It's like pornography. You just...
You know it when you feel it. Yeah.
Okay. All right.
So I'll give it a try. Self-bonking on that one.
Self-bonk. Where's our bonk? Oh, it's right here.
Oh, yeah. Bonk yourself.
I just know that... I know there's a...
You know, like, as I get there up in age, I'm learning to just give up a little bit more when it's like hey this trend like the fucking TikTok I walked in the office today and it was like the office is a buzz about Tessa and Jessa and Josh and Nessa and I said listen do it the old fashioned way put it on MTV and I'll watch it otherwise I can't follow give me a fucking put it on bravo i'll watch the shit out of this drama otherwise cannot follow they got my attention because they just featured travis barker on a song that's an easy way for me if you have travis barker playing behind you it doesn't matter if you're singing if you're doing stand-up you could be delivering a eulogy i'm gonna watch if it's featuring travis barker in the song so you're and watch Keeping Up the Kardashians. Yeah, why not? Yeah, for sure.
I'm going to watch if it's featuring Travis Barker in the song. So you're going to watch Keeping Up the Kardashians?

Yeah, why not?

Yeah, for sure.

Listen, that's Kat.

Drama?

I'm in for the drama.

Just put it on TV.

I don't know how to follow it.

Travis is dating

Courtney.

He got her name tattooed

or she got his name tattooed.

Scott Disick doesn't get enough credit

for being an all-time villain.

The Lord.

Remember that time he shoved money into the waiter's mouth? If that happened today, he might have been publicly executed. That was a fucking douchebag as douchebag gets.
But he knew how to play his role. He knew how to play his role.
What are we doing? FAQs? Q&As? FAQs? Why did PFT stop wearing the cowboy hat? Everyone knows it's a good look on him. Everyone did know that.
I thought it was a good look. Universal.
Big Cat was a big proponent of the cowboy hat. Sometimes you just got to stop doing stuff.
That's great life advice, actually. When I said it, it sounded really profound coming out of my mouth.
Yeah. Stop doing stuff.
Sometimes just give up on shit. Yeah.
And honestly, it was more of just like a distraction to get me through it was like a three-week period where i was like i just gotta switch something up

i think you've actually done a good job though of laying the base work that when you do it now

it looks natural so like you put in the hard work so that people are like hey cowboy hat guy so when

you do it now i wouldn't have the same reaction when i did initially where i was like oh i don't

know this is a big change now it's like it's part of your repertoire i think the next time i wear

I'm going to start. So when you do it now, I wouldn't have the same reaction when I did initially where I was like, ooh, I don't know.
This is a big change. Now it's like it's part of your repertoire.
I think the next time I wear it, I'll also have the boost of like, oh, shit, the cowboy hat's back. Right.
And then that's a whole new buzz going. It's part of your game.
You are now a five-tool player. Running, throwing, cowboy hatting.
Running for power. Stealing.
Running for power. Running for speed speed the EFAS pitch oh dude Zacharyk when he throws the EFAS it's so electric it really is the best in the early days of PMT Big Cat would always say loser has to kill a debutante whenever you guys would bet on something what did that even mean it was just we were coming up with stupid stakes for our bets that we were putting out every week.
What's a debutante? A debutante is like a 15-year-old girl who's finally stepping out onto the stage. They used to do debutante balls.
I said that? Yeah. Yikes.
I'll jump on this grenade for you. I think it was my idea to say it, but it was literally just because we wanted to think of the most like obnoxious dumb thing to make the stakes of our bet it's when yeah when the um i mean we've gotten caught in this a few times it's a it's the old like i'll eat my column bet yeah that a newspaper columnist does or a radio guy this is why we have theating thing like we unfortunately essentially just can't be okay watching other people do lame bets and be like oh that's a lame bet we have to be like that's a lame bet and on top of it we will commit murder and then eat each other's asses out would you still watch sports if you had to write a three-page report for every game you watch signed to business are you are you talking about like being a journalist every game yeah every you had to write a three page report for every game you watch what size font honestly no that's so much work i'd watch like a couple games would you watch there's no way that you could watch.
Think about that. Every NFL Sunday would be a book.
It would be tough. Red Zone counts as one game.
So you're right about the font. You just basically go 12 and a half indent, paragraph, space between the paragraph was always the best move because it not only gives you extra space, but also you can be like, it's a classy look.
And then you put your name in the top right corner and then give it like four extra spaces down. And then the date.
And then a big title. The date, yeah.
You got to title your essay. Yeah, we could do it.
I would do it on Sundays because Red Zone counts as one game. Red Zone 2 counts as really just three quarters of a game when it's four games or three games in the afternoon.
And then the night game. So that's nine.
I would write nine pages after an NFL Sunday. Here's something we can do.
Bill, you're not next fall. You won't be in school anymore, right? So you'll have a ton of free time.
Yeah, this is true. Okay, so I'm not going to make you do every game, but I wouldn't hate it if you did a three-page report on Monday Night Football every week.
I think that's easy, right? And then we read it on the Tuesday show? We could do that. Yeah, I mean, that's not hard, Billy.
Yeah, you could do that. One paper every single week to keep you in writing in case you want to go back to school.
this whole career doesn't work out and navy seals don't come calling we'll just do that perfect okay monday night football by billy football football is bold yeah so you're incorporating your name into the actual write-up yeah that's true you can space it however you want perfect oh okay Oh, okay. Yeah.
All right. Perfect.

I'm excited for this.

Sup, boys, especially Slick Willie.

Last year, I offered Billy $1,000 to charity for Vanny's steering wheel, but he declined

because Blake Griffin would hypothetically hop in and take it for $100,000.

He obviously never did.

Does Billy hate charity, or was it too much work to ship a steering wheel?

You are using Blake Griffin's name for leverage? For leverage? I had this idea that we'd have this huge auction. Yeah, we talked about it on the show.
And all our friends would come. You hold the keys to that.
We wanted you to do that. I know, but I should chop it up.
You can do that. I will get that done.
We asked you to do that. No, you're not.
We've asked you. I will get that done by the end of the summer.
We want you to do that. I will get it done by the end of the summer.
No, you're not going to do it this summer. But it sounds like a guy was going to.
Yeah, you already gave up $1,000. I didn't want to sell the steering wheel for $1,000 and then have to get a new steering wheel.
You know what? I'm actually going to side with you here, Billy. The steering wheel should be in the studio.
Yeah. Okay.
Everything else should be sold. One of the good ones.
Yeah. Okay.
But let's not act like Billy's actually going to follow through and dissect the entire van and sell it. I don't know.
I don't know. He said he was.
No, it's stump season. Billy's got like 17 more stumps he has to explore.
Graduation party summer. That's the problem with Billy.
Forget about it. That That's actually Billy in a nutshell right there.
He can have any assignment put in front of him, and he will get distracted by something as small as a stump. Oh, no, don't take PFT.
You don't come at that stump. It was a huge-ass stump.
People love the size of that stump. You are the best person in the world at getting distracted by things.
It's also great, that picture of Billy and the stump after he said it was a 90-degree day and the water was great. You look at that picture and you get cold.
There's no leaves on the trees. Swimming in sewage.
Don't you come at that stump. I'm sorry.
The stump was nice. Stump boys, especially Chonk Cat.
Will Jilly Football ever make a return to the show cool throwing you big cat all these fat filter pictures are going around so where's the filter well no but no you can you can kind of be like no it's a filter no my face is fat right now i made a huge fuck up by shaving and getting a haircut at the same time i'm gonna i didn't eat dinner last night i didn't eat breakfast this morning what on the diet? What? I'm on a diet. That's not healthy.
Well, it's how you kickstart it. You got to get your stomach small, bro.
Billy, are you really into diet culture? Because with big cats involved in right now, they call it OMAD. Yeah.
One meal a day. If I never eat again, I will be skinny.
That sounds like a disorder. Once you reach OMAD, it's a level of intermittent fasting.
It's like the ninth level. Yeah, and it also is a disorder because the internet's mean to me.
Maybe tell the internet to stop being mean to me. Please stop being mean to Big Cat.
People are just like, I mean, right now, it's also this camera angle. But I'm okay with it because you know what? I am fat, and I need to lose some weight.
The camera angle, like, I'm not saying the camera angle's wrong. I'm saying the only way that i can look good is if the camera is literally on the ceiling there is something about your face though where anytime you make a change to it it's going to look fat in a way but then after a few days it just becomes that's your face you're not fat anymore it's got i got a nice double chin it's right here it's flopping around but we're But we're going to fix it.
We're on OMAD. OMAD? OMAD.
OMAD. One meal a day.
Dude, OMAD is going to kick everyone's ass. Billy, you're also my fucking nutritionist.
I know. I don't understand what you're doing.
I think you're slowing your metabolism down. No.
So then speed it the fuck up, dude. Well, start eating more.
That's how you... No.
What? Pizza? Like small increments. Why would you eat more if you're trying to lose weight billy that doesn't add up more frequently you're big cats oh mad you're you mad you know what i'm gonna do i'm gonna get back on the hot dog diet i'm gonna say fuck it i'm just gonna eat raw dogs all the time that was that was the best that was the last time i had a legit diet that worked just cooking a bunch of yeah i think during the day or night all the time.
That was the best. That was the last time I had a legit diet that worked.
Just cooking a bunch of, yeah, I think my heart. Raw dogging during the day or at night? All the time.
You fucking cook me up a hot dog on the grill, I'll eat it. No bun.
No cap. There you go.
Got it. Got it.
Sup dudes, what is your go-to sandwich to make at home? PFT looks like a big ham and cheese guy. While Big Cat looks like a PB&J kind of guy.
Favorite sandwich to make at home. I don't make a lot of sandwiches.
Usually if I'm eating a sandwich, it's something that I buy. Because I like to treat myself to a nice Italian, maybe Philly cheesesteak.
But if I'm making it at home, I usually go simple. So I'll go like PBJ.
That's usually my jam. Yeah.

Peanut butter and banana or turkey.

My favorite is turkey salami and then just put like an entire bag of chips in it.

Got to get that crunch.

Is that healthy?

Is that good on the diet?

Yeah.

I mean, no way is it.

He didn't listen.

Yeah.

You're no different than Jake getting sucked off. Turkeyami.
And an entire bag of chips inside the sandwich. And then I have another bag that's for the side chips.
Okay, that's a problem. You know what I like, though, about getting sandwiches from somewhere else that I don't make myself is they're always heavier.
If I make a sandwich at home, it's usually like it doesn't have that same weight.

There's no better feeling than leaving an Italian deli and having a sandwich that's

like 10 pounds.

Yes.

You can tell that a sandwich is going to taste good based on how it feels in your hand inside

the wrapper.

It's so true.

I can never recreate that.

Like a mini baseball bat.

Yes.

That's when you know like I'm about to.

Shout out that woman online who Hank sent us the clip who just fucking devours that sandwich. Jake was already deeming her.
Trying to see if she could come in here before the show. She's a real one.
Shocking, shocking, shocking skills. If you had to choose between killing Jake...
If you had to choose between killing Jake or having to share a house with 10 Billies for the rest of your life?

Which would you choose?

I'd kill Jake so fast.

I'll kill him

with my bare hands. I don't care.

I would make sure that it was quick and painless.

That's not me.

10 Billies? Yeah, living with 10 Billies is me.

Do you want me to do that? Jake,

if it were on you and

the same thing was going towards me,

I would tell you to kill me.

I couldn't live myself.

I don't lose myself. I'd jump in front of a train so fast.
All right. No, actually, nope.
Nitza. No.
Yeah, don't do that. Never mind.
I would not do that. Yeah.
Never do that. I don't think the 10 Billies would survive.
I think they'd eliminate each other slowly, and you'd just end up with one. You don't think you could eliminate each other? But it would be the strongest.
It would be the alphas Billy? That's why we haven't heard it from Dale in a while. Yeah, that's true.
What happened to Dale? Did you kill Dale? No. Did you fuck him to death? Bonk.
Imagine how many reptiles would be in your house with ten Billys. Oh, my God know Hank loves vacations But when was the last time Mr.
Cometor and Mr. Cat Took a vacation This is a question from Hank This is a question from Hank You're trying to get us to say how long it's been So you can be like Wow that's a really long time You guys should think about going on a vacation.
There's another really sentimental one. We'll do some Zoom shows this summer.
We'll take some vacations. I'm going to beach house this summer.
So there you go. It's written in the sand.
Sorry that I have a work ethic that makes me want to always go and put out a product for the people. Apologize.
My fault, Hank. Don't apologize to me.
I'm with it. I'm pro-work.
Absolutely. Vacation when you're dead.
Exactly. Sup, Dad? Wait, Billy really wanted to jump in there, and I have to hear what he has to say about it.
No, I'm actually... His vacation policy.
As I've gotten to my age, I realize... Hold on, let's just really...
I really want to embrace it. Int really want to embrace this.
I rather take vacations while I'm youthful and can do many things. As opposed to earlier when you never took vacations before you realized.
I've been in college for the past four years, and then before that I was in high school doing football camp and stuff. It never actually actually worked but you're already ready for the vacation right but like did you do middle school you get two years off or two months off in college in the summertime billy learned yeah but i was like working he wants to vacation other jobs you haven't worked a full job to i wouldn't i i've had like those other jobs bro you haven't the cubes for one summer and I worked construction like all through high school in first two summers.
But you haven't even accrued the vacation hours that you now. Like you have to accrue.
Like if you went and got a job, right? Uh-huh. You couldn't take a vacation the second week.
Technically here you could because our vacation policy is a joke. I agree.
Exactly. I agree.
It's fucked It's fucked up. Well, honestly...
People take advantage of it. It's not that I want to take a vacation.
I just want to go places that I haven't been before. You guys take advantage of it.
You can go on vacation anytime you want. Exactly.
The shaming. What? We can't shame? No, you can.
I'm just saying. You take advantage of it.
You could go away for a year. I'll just, every show, be like, welcome to part of my take.
Hank's still on vacation. Billy, tell me about the moment when you realized, in all your age and wisdom, where going on vacation was cool.
Well, the thing is, at some point, I've not been to a lot of places, and I want to go there. It's not exactly for vacation.
You don't want to just be an ant marching, dude. Yeah.
You're just a rat in a cage. Billy's been in war mode for 17 years.
He needs a beach. Sometimes people, and this is not a slight of you, Billy, because you're going to probably take the first part of it as that.
Sometimes people are like, Billy, why does Billy get to talk on the show this is why he is he is he is ourselves when we were 22 like i love you this is what i love your your thought of like you know what guys after uh 18 years of living in my parents house and uh you know taking every summer off and then four years of going to college and partying my face off i I realized life's too short not to take some vacations. You know what I want you to do, Billy? It's more like I just want to see places.
You know what you should do? We should put Billy in charge of our mystery flight. Yes.
But we don't know. Somalia.
Billy plans a vacation for us. No, because Billy wouldn't want to stay in the terrible place.
They'd be educational. No, no, no.
He drops on us in the middle of the Amazon rainforest. Bro, we'd have fun.
We'd have fun. For dance.
It wouldn't be yet. Eastern Europe.
What the fuck's going on there? Yeah, you guys want to see the Eiffel Tower? I got a stump for you that is so sick. See the Eiffel Tower.

Petrified forest.

Alright, well, that was a wholesome one.

There's another wholesome one. That was not a wholesome one.
That was a question from you, Hank. You can take a vacation

wherever you want. This one's not a question for me, so.

Sup, Dadcat, PFT,

and Honk. You guys have already accomplished

so much with PMT, but you all

seem like guys that keep wanting to do more.

What's the professional goal or aspiration you have for yourself? That's a good question. Yeah.
This is like a stop and spell the roses? I would like to keep doing this. I would like to...
That's not an aspiration, though, because I kind of already have it. I would like to keep working as hard as I am so that someday Billy can fulfill his dream of vacationing.
That's my goal. It's not vacationing.
It's more I just want to travel. Mm-hmm.
That's very similar. But even for work.
Dude, it's not... Well, yeah.
I mean, yeah. We'll travel again.
Well, no, you're not invited. Never mind.
Sorry. Jake's invited.
You're not. You can't.
What if we put Billy in charge of Grit Week? Oh, my God. No.
No. I mean, I think that could work.
Let's put Billy in charge of one day of Grit Week. How about that? All right.
That's fair. Yeah.
Let's start with one day. We will be doing Grit Week.
We'll all go. All six of us will be on the road.
It's going to be fucking great. But one day of Grit Week you get to be in charge of.
We're going to go hiking. No, see, that's...
Okay, fine. But like in a cool way.
See, PFT, there's a problem. He's going to fucking...
We're going gonna interview a stump. I don't like to hike, Billy.
I like to walk places where I'm going there for a reason. Yeah, there'll be a reason why we get there.
I don't want to walk places to get to a better place to walk. We should send Billy on Chris Longston.
You want to climb Kilimanjaro? Fuck yeah! I know you're the water boy. That's sick.
Actually, we should have him. But no, you have to.
So we would let you climb Kilimanjaro, but you'd have to carry. Yeah, 100%.
You didn't let me finish. Herpes.
30 pounds. 50 pounds.
Both of us. You have to carry both of us up the mountain.
That would be awesome. You really think that you can do anything.
I love it. This is why we have him on the show.
One day I'll realize my mortality and not want a vacation. Have you done laundry recently, Billy? Nope.
It's actually the opposite of what happened to it. I can tell because he's wearing the free sweatshirt and no socks.
And mugsy jeans that are super comfortable. You have camouflaged Crocs on, too.
What are you trying to hide from Brett Favre? When you can't even find a pair of socks, that's when you know it's time to... I mentioned that the pile is all the way back, because it's all the way back, and it took two months.
And just saying that sentence, Billy ran over and just started grabbing shit. I was like, no, that's not what I

said. But here

he is. Anyway.
Jake, you okay?

Yeah, I'm great. We love you,

Jake. Love you guys, too.

We love you. Well, you know what? One time,

you know what? Next week, we'll let you go first.

No.

No, we'll let you go first. I was telling

PFT, it wasn't the

fact that I gave into the joke. It was the fact that I wasn't completely listening to you guys, and I felt disrespectful.
It's okay, Jake. But I was doing something for the show.
You always are. You're working.
Unlike our other son. Working too hard.
Who's ready to vacation at the ripe age of 22. Jake, have you learned a valuable lesson of needing to take a break from your job to go on vacation.
Yeah, I'm taking one next month.

Fuck yeah, Jake.

We're taking vacations this summer.

First one, like, ever. I'm going to be tan as fuck.

Let's do it, Hank. Let's take some

vacations. Alright, shirtless summer.

30, give me 8.

36, 18,

99, 32.

8 is due.

Oh, I just saw 8 literally

Thank you. 99.
32. 8 is due.
Oh, I just saw 8 literally popped up.

Like, you know how it was right there.

It'll happen.

57.

Some ladybugs are males.

First timer.

Love you guys. I know what to say.
I've played in your way. Today's our holiday to find you.
I'm coming for your love again. Take on me.
Take me. Take me out Here you go Here you go So needless to say I'm saying But I need someone that I play Slowly learn that life is okay Take care.
Drink on me. Drink on me.

Drink on me. I'll be gone.

To the day I'm gone.