Final Four Is Set, March Madness Has Killed Us + Dallas Braden Baseball Preview

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we have a final four. We're going to recap the Elite Eight.
We have update on Jake's One Shining Moment list. One Shining Marshmint.
One Shining Marshmint, Hot Seat, Cool Th cool throne and our good good friend dallas braden on the show because baseball is back on thursday so we're talking a little baseball we're doing everything we got every kind of sport covered oh and also kevin durant is our new uh champion online ever had one of those days when it's just too cold to keep working? Nah,

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Oh. And then a lot of stuff work will be done No place to hang out or wash in And then I can't lay all on the sun Oh no We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue It's Pardon My Take presented by Barstool Sports Welcome to Pardon My Take presented by Bacardi Bacardi Limited, Bacardi Rum, Patron Tequila, Dewar's Blended Whiskey Scotch Blend Use Watch with Bacardi and you get $5 off your order at Drizzly Today is Wednesdaynesday march 31st and guys i am basketball doubt it was uh it was a tough couple days the late start times i initially was like you know what this separates the the casuals from the real fans like me if you're willing to stay up until 10 for a tip-off.

Two school nights in a row of 10 o'clock tip-offs.

I think I've seen enough.

That was a microaggression against me when you tweeted that on Monday night

because we were doing a live stream,

and PFD smartly left after the first game

and then tweeted, like, this is when the real men,

and I'm sitting in the live stream studio being like, fuck, I wish I I had my shirt off and I was horizontal on my couch I know I was literally shirtless laying down on my couch being like all all you p-words out there that they can't stand pulling the late hours I think I fell asleep during the second half left the office but yeah March has taken its toll it has been an incredible uh March an incredible. Let's just start with the game we just watched.
UCLA is in the Final Four. What a fucking run.
What an ugly game. But credit to Mick Cronin.
Credit to UCLA. Credit to Hep Cronin.
As the LA Times put it, step aside, Sister Jean. It's Hep Cronin's NCAA tourney now.
There we go. Hep Cronin.
I mean, we had eyes on him in the first four when they were showing the camera to him, the love to him, all first four. He's got 400 wins as a high school coach.
Wow. Yeah.
Didn't know that. Nate Oates.
Pretty impressive. He's an honorary Big Ten guy, too, then.
Yeah, that's true. Yeah.
I mean, he basically was a Big Ten coach at Cincinnati for the majority of his career. Right.
So it counts. Yeah, I'd say, so he's a Big Ten coach.
I'm trying to spin. Jalen Suggs.
Jalen Suggs. Bryce Drew.
Scott Drew. Scott Drew looks like Scott Walker, the governor of Wisconsin.
He's from Indiana, right? Scott Drew. That counts.
And then Calvin Simpson coached Indiana. There we go.
So it's an all Big Ten final. But yeah, that game, Michigan, I don't know what they were doing.
It was very clear at halftime when they came out in the second half. They're like, all right, we're just going to feed our seven-footer who's better than everyone on the floor.
And then they did that, and it was effective. And then the last two minutes, they're like, now we're just going to chuck some threes.
I thought it was weird that they had Hunter inbounding the ball on the last play because you got coy you got 0.5 seconds left you want your big guy to catch it put it up quick but i think i think juwan howard was like you know what the wagner family has meant so much to the program we're going to have him get a get a chance to redeem himself for maybe the one of the worst air balls i've seen on a wide open look he uh they're just kids i just want to throw that out there as a disclaimer but wagner uh was so so bad and he should get credit for getting michigan to that part because he did pick up for livers in this tournament and played very well but that was it's you know whenever you like talk about injuries and a guy like livers being out and i'm not making excuses for michigan yes i did I did bet on him. Yes, I wanted the Big Ten to have some representation in the Final Four.
Whatever. I don't ultimately care that much.
But whenever you have a guy go out, you can survive for a little bit. But you basically need your next guys up to have those great games and pick up the slack.
And to expect Wagner to do that every single night, it was probably too much. And it's just, yeah, it was a hell of a game.
But UCLA deserves all the credit. Yeah, Juzang was the best player on the court tonight.
They basically are playing football, basketball. I love it.
You know what? The most underrated part of what UCLA has been doing in this run, their free throw defense has been phenomenal. For some reason, every team they play just misses all their free throws.
So credit to them. Does that mean that they foul harder? So when you step to the line, you're still feeling the effects? Is that part of John Wooten's success pyramid? It is.
By the way, the success pyramid is back. Who's? John Wooten.
And also having the booster that paid everyone who no one talks about at UCLA. Not Mick Cronin's program.
Mick Cronin runs a clean program. What did they shoot from free throw tonight? Jake.
Hold on, the internet's bad. Oh, no.
Oh, no. I thought you had that set.
If I get it before you, that's a problem. I mean, you're probably going to.
Okay. Oh, Jake.
Are they a sweatier team? Oh, my darling boy. Did they get the ball wet? Oh, my darling boy.
Six for 11. Yep.
Six for 11. So the last two games, the UCLA's opponents have gone 17.
Quick math in my head, 17 for 36. That's pretty good free throw defense.
Great free throw defense. So, yeah, it was an ugly game, but it was drama.
We almost got our buzzer beater. Oh, that's my computer.
ESPN. Shout out ESPN to having more.
They have more ads that play when you go on ESPN than our guy Robert Little. The autoplay is ridiculous.
I've also heard of autoplay ads. Whatever button you hit on your computer while you have any ESPN page, somehow it's the it's the play button yeah so like when i was when we're doing like our uh our bermans after nfl sunday and i hit ctrl f to find a player's name on the team ctrl f plays a video yes it's actually jimmy pataro the greatest thing he's done for espn is just so many auto plays that that's how their revenues come back i think mike greenberg is just an auto auto play person.
I think auto play. You put him in a chair and he just, he gives you a highlight.
It's auto play holds up Greenberg's salary. Yes.
That they're like, okay, we're going to sign Greeny to this much money. Well, slap a few more auto plays.
Yeah. There's also a great uniform matchup tonight.
We're, by the way, I'm sure our website has a lot of auto plays. Oh, for sure.
Just as a general disclaimer for anything that we ever say, we're the biggest hypocrites on earth. Of all time.
We're a startup, though. I'm including everybody in this.
We are the biggest hypocrites. Yes, the uniform matchup was fantastic.
Great, great uniform matchup. That was probably the only pretty part of this game.
Yeah, it reminded me of Sweden. A lot of blues.
March Magnus is what I called it. There we go.
Magnus von Magnussen. We were talking world's strongest man while we were watching it.
Gonzaga rolled. Gonzaga gets to their first Final Four ever.
Congratulations. We can finally rest that.
I don't even know why we were still doing that joke. If they lose to UCLA, a team that's already played a playing game on top of all this i feel like it's not really a fun we have to take that away from them gonzaga had uh the classic situation tonight where everyone is so sick of how good gonzaga is that they all said to themselves usc is the toughest opponent they'll ever meet and this is a terrible matchup for them and i i tweeted obviously i lost the michigan bet but i said don't overthink it kanzek is that good and they have now they're 30 and 0 and 29 of the 30 wins have come by double digits and they're 12 and a half point favorites going into in a final four game that's got to be one of the biggest spreads ever what was their only single digit win was it byu in the in the uh i would tell, jeez.
I've also seen... Jake's been down.
I don't like it. I'm fine.
I'm just telling you the truth. We're going to boost you up this episode.
There have been a few games that I've watched with Gonzaga where they're losing at halftime. Yes, yes.
But they're just that good where they're not going to play 40 minutes of bad basketball. Yeah, Billy? What was his hat? Gonzaga.
West Virginia. He's trying to steal my...
West Virginia, December 2nd. Okay, there it is.
Yeah, they beat BYU by 10. They were down a half in that championship game.
Oh, oh, breaking moves. Breaking moves.
I don't like that look at all. Bill Walton texts me back.

Let's go.

Okay, all right, Bill with two L's.

So right before we started, we were brainstorming.

We're like, who can we get on the show on Friday?

We're going to try to get Mick Cronin for the people.

But then we realized Bill Walton.

And I realized that I had his number, and I hadn't texted him since 2019

when he texted me back saying, shine on, dream on,

build on,

carry on,

B-dub.

He texted just now.

I said,

congrats,

uh, Bill.

What a run for your,

I feel like I should have called him coach.

Just even just coach.

Yeah.

He gives us our brother.

Yeah.

Congrats,

Bill.

What a run for your Bruins conference of champions.

And he wrote back never in doubt,

uh,

space,

space,

space.

Wow.

Space,

space,

space,

space.

Incredible. Space, space, space.
Greatest story ever told. Space, space space space wow space space space incredible space space greatest story ever told space space space wow space space space space we just had a miracle yes i love it bill with two l's what do i do follow up uh hey uh oh by the way i love it come on our podcast would love you to tell the story on the record on our podcast i.
Yeah, we'd love to share the story with our audience on the podcast.

I'm going to throw in.

All right.

It would be a miracle of itself.

All right. All right.

Who would be the best storyteller?

Oh, okay.

All right.

You guys talk amongst yourself real quick.

I'm just going to do this real quick.

I'm going to think about this.

I'm going to throw in a Grateful Dead lyric as well.

I think I'm going to throw in one from The Wheel.

Friend of the devil.

Bill, you and Lil Nas X.

No, The Wheel.

Friend with benefits of the devil.

I'm going to throw in The Wheel.

Okay.

Yeah.

All right.

All right.

Here we go.

Here it goes.

Unbelievable.

So happy for you.

So happy for you.

Would love for you to tell. To share the story.
To share the story on the podcast if you have any free time this week. Someone else.
Billy, do your hot seat. My hot seat is Major, the White House dog that once again bit a staff member.
Yeah. Yeah, sure.
That's, that's two thus far, right? He got sent away once and the second time he's a repeat offender. So we need to figure out something to do with major.
I actually, so I suggested that chaps train major because that's what Chaps' dog was.

I think he'd do a good job at it. I think Major might just be a badass.
I think Major just – he might be – you know what? Major might be MAGA. And so he's fucking shit up at the White House because he's pissed off.
He doesn't want to be there. Hates the government.
Hates the government. Yeah, Major's a libertarian.
Boom. I like that.
Yeah, it's not a good look to have the dog although i think maybe all the people that thought trump is just in biden's body is actually trump is just in majors

body freaky friday switch with the german shepherd yeah i like that i it would be sick though if uh

if the president whoever it was at the time had just a shitload of rowdy pit bulls in the white

house that just bit everyone like attack dogs that'd be pretty cool my cool throne is pro days

Thank you. had just a shitload of rowdy pit bulls in the White House that just bit everyone, like attack dogs.
That'd be pretty cool. My cool throne is pro days.
So there's been a ton of pro days. I'm going to watch all the quarterback stocks going around.
Seeing their stocks. Zach Wilson had an insane throw where he rolled out left.
Yeah. And then cross body through towards the right pylon, like 70 yards in the air.
Am I dreaming? Yeah. What? Did we not? We had this exact conversation.
We talked about this, yeah. No, just let him cook.
No, but then Justin Fields attempted the same throw. Couldn't do it.
He went left and threw to the left pylon. And then Kellen Mahon.
Billy, I saw your tweet. You know what I'm saying? If we just did combines of regular people just doing their...
Kellen Mahn was able to do the sick crossbody towards the right pylon. But I think Fields was intentionally throwing to the...
It wasn't like a misthrow. He was aiming.
He obviously couldn't do it because he was trying to imitate it. All right, cut through all your storytelling.
As entertaining as it is, Mac Jones' pro day was not good. He did not.
he couldn't do it because he was trying to imitate it all right so all right cut through all your storytelling as entertaining as it is mac jones pro day was not good he did not he couldn't do the crossbody throw kellen mahn was able to do it yeah he was sick yeah bill belichick was watching and he was like shaking his head no it was the opposite of the meme where he puts the binoculars on to get a closer look he was putting the binoculars on the opposite way to look further away from mac jones because he was not how you should just do do stock up, stock down, Billy. Okay.
I'm done. I'm done with the tax.
Okay. All right.
Here's what I got. I wrote back.
Unbelievable. So happy for you.
Would love for you to share the story on the podcast. If you have any free time this week, we can be totally flexible to your schedule.
UCLA back in the final four. And I, I, I changed the lyric a little.
So it's the lyric is, uh, I had one of those flashes, I'd been there before, been there before. It's from Scarlett Pagonias.
I wrote, you had one of those flashes, you've been there before, been there before. That's good.
For the Final Four. That's good, right? That's good.
I think he's definitely going to get that. I feel good about that.
It's out in the world now. But Big Cat, more importantly, you missed Billy's electrifying recap of quarterback pro days.
Oh, tell me. Zach Wilson? Did he do a throw? Did you see the sick throw? No, but then they tried to imitate his throws, and the only one who was able to do it was Kellen Mond and Justin Fields.
Future Bear. Future Bear.
And then Mack Jones didn't even do any cool throws. Okay, so my hot seat was going to be Mack Jones.
He didn't do any cool throws. He also overthrew some people.
NFL Twitter is so funny because I love when NFL Twitter is like, I'm not even going to watch college basketball. I'm just going to watch Pro Days.
There was a bunch of tweets that were essentially reading the body language of Kyle Shanahan and Bill Belichick every time Mac Jones overthrew someone.

And they were never... Bill Belichick was just watching.

No, Bill Belichick did have one clip where he looks to the guy to his right

and he's like, nah, it's not good.

But Kyle Shanahan, it was just a clip away.

It was a cutaway to Kyle Shanahan who was staring straight ahead.

And they're like, Kyle Shanahan hates this shit.

Yeah, Kyle Shanahan's regretting moving up to three now. Like he was going to take Matt Jones at number three anyways.
But you know who had the best pro day? Who, Billy? The old miss pro day? Chad Kelly. Yes! Swag's back.
Alright, let's get back to basketball. Thank you, Billy.
Alright, so Gonzaga's a wagon. That was incredible what they did.
The don't overthink it game. Because didn't you think that it was – sometimes when a team's so dominant,

we do it with Alabama football all the time,

where it's like you talk yourself into maybe this will be a close game.

And I'm doing it right now with UCLA.

And it's not going to be.

You have to, though.

It's not going to be.

Baylor.

Here's why UCLA is going to be a tough game.

They're not as good as some of the other teams that Gonzaga's played recently, but they get the most out of their ability. They're tougher.
It's going to be like playing in off rhythm somehow. Yeah, exactly.
Like, hey, we're not even playing basketball. Exactly.
They're so fucked up. Well, here's the thing about UCLA.
They were really good early this season, and then they just got bad for a while. Now they're good again.
So they're tapping back into what they had back when I first started watching in November when they were good. So they do have it.
I think I'm going to bet on UCLA to cover the spread, but I don't see it happening. No way.
Gonzaga is just a wagon. And so the other side, Baylor, the must-bust, they tried.
It felt like they kept on making these runs. They get back to within like seven.
No, they got even closer. I think they were down four or three with maybe five minutes left.
They just couldn't hit that big shot that really got it like, oh, Baylor's now going to start making plays. Incredible season for them.
And I don't know. I mean, that was another one where they're just kids.
Moses Moody, who's going to be a lottery pick, didn't have his best game. And he's a freshman.
You know what I mean? They're just kids. Just remind yourself that.
I think that Baylor is going to shit pump Houston. Well, so Houston deserves credit.
I'm going to do it. I bashed them.
then I remember the Dana Holgerson's the coach there uh they just I don't know how they do it but every single game they just get a million more rebounds than their opponent and they just they I should be like how I like to play pickup basketball where I can't shoot can't do anything can only rebound I should be a Houston fan because that's kind of like if you hear anyone talk about Houston, it's like their defense is unbelievable. Their offensive rebound is unbelievable.
They can't shoot. What's their screen game like? They just put it back in.
The screen game is an important part of your pick up game too. And special shout out to Oregon State, my personal national champion, who finished the season on seven straight games where they covered the spread, six out of seven as big money line underdog hits.
So they deserve, I think they're the spread national champions. And I do want to go back on one thing that we talked about.
It was right after the first week in college basketball where we were saying how Houston should be in the Big 12, but they're not. It turns out that it's a classic case of the University of Texas not wanting Houston in there because Texas is always like, we need to be the biggest dick in the biggest vagina possible.
And guess what? Houston, you're too big of a city. We don't want that competition in-state from you.
We want to get the big recruits from your area. And so the University of Texas just threw their balls around and kept Houston out.
So that's a retraction. That's an official part of my take, retraction.
Yeah, look. They tried to get into the Big 12.
Yeah. And we're coogs.
We're hypocrites. Yeah, we are hypocrites.
So the Final Four is set. All Texas Final Four on one side, and then Gonzaga versus UCLA.
This is going to be uh not that we care but there are people who care uh probably the lowest watch final four right hmm you don't have any yeah traditional blue bloods i mean ucla ucla throw in there ucla gonzaga is going to be a big game but it's also then it really doesn't matter who gonzaga would play in the finals right it's also everything east of the Mississippi. You don't have any Big Ten.
You don't have any ACC. But again, I don't care.
I'm going to watch it. I'm going to love it.
But you know you'll hear people say that afterwards. Oh, the ratings police.
Even though I have bad news for us. So we started the show talking about how this schedule has completely killed us.
They had the highest ratings of the Elite Eight, I think, ever. So they're going to keep this.
Because, of course, they did. A Monday and Tuesday night versus a Sunday and Saturday afternoon.
A little perspective. A year ago today, we would have rearranged our entire week.
We arranged our entire month to watch one basketball game at 10 p.m. on a Tuesday night.
Fact. Perspective.
Fact. I mean, this tournament's been crazy.
It's been fucking crazy. We have an 11 seed in, and we still have the two best teams that everyone thought were the best teams since the first ball was tipped still alive.
You can't really ask for anything more than that. You know what they need to do if they want to goose the ratings? Get more microphones courtside.
Get a microphone on the rim so you can hear the bricks a little bit louder. The squeaky shoes.
This court tonight had squeakier shoes than the other court did. They should loosen the rims.
Yeah. Loosen up the rims, NCAA.
Let them fill it up. And chain nets.
And chain nets. Longer nets.
We need longer nets. All right.
What else from the final four? Oh, Jake, your one shining moment update? Yeah, there's a few. We had three blowouts.
I don't think Bill Walton's texting me back, guys. He's probably just in a state of bliss from reading that text.
I might have put him back in an acid drink when I dropped that lyric on his head. He's back in like it's Cornell 72 all over.
The text was too good. Yeah, it was.
77. First, we have Oregon State as Big Cat's personal national champion.
You just told me to put that on the list. Yep.
No specific shot. Thank you.
The Biebs. And then Dave had a request of Baylor's DeeDee Richards getting hurt and emotional after the injury.
Which was getting great, the tournament. The U game.
Elite 8 game. Yeah.
Was better than any Elite 8 game in the men's side. For sure.
It was an incredible game. Yeah.
So, shout out to the women's tourney. Mark Vidal.
Put back slam for Baylor. Corey Kispert 3.
He's made plenty of them. One of those will get put in there.
Johnny Juzang on UCLA tonight. Had an ugly bank shot that went home.
Maybe that'll get through. I would say him limping off the court and then coming back.
Yeah, that too. Wagner's missed three might be on there.
I don't know if that'll make the list. You don't think so? It was a good shot because it's the agony of defeat.
Yeah, I'll throw it in. And it might be with it.
We need to get to 64. Yeah, Hunter Dickinson screaming.
I have. That was next.
Hunter Dickinson getting excited. Jake, my apologies.
That's okay. No, I wasn't like Matt.
Listen, settle down. Are you okay, Jake? That was a joke.
Relax. Hep Cronin, just something.
Yeah, Hep Cronin. It might just be Hep Cronin.
It might just be 68 shots. It might be.
I got tweeted the other day how they show Hep a lot, but they literally showed him eight times after the game was over. They show the buzzer beater miss, and then they show Hep.
And Hep, every time there's a big moment that ends up going in his favor, it takes him like a full two seconds to react to it afterwards. It's always everybody around him.
They start swarming him, and he still hasn't blinked yet. He hasn't shown.
He's just like, thank God. He's just got more relief than he does joy sometimes.
Yeah, and then UCLA, it seems like they have good chemistry because their bench always has their arms around each other. Yeah, they got the UCLA bros.
Yeah. Okay.
That's where we're at right now. One shining moment.
Good list. Yeah, final four.
Yeah. The last last 30 to 45 seconds of the montage are entirely the final four usually.
And it'll be a voiceover of Jim Nance, one night, and here we go for all the marbles. Right.
That's true. Yeah.
That's true. They do the final edit.
It's like hard knocks. It kind of blows your mind.
Right, because you see Greg Gumbel, they're killing some time at a desk for like 30 minutes. That's what they're doing.
Yeah, they're editing. When they cut the nets down, all that stuff.
How would you cut the nets down if they were chain? Chainsaw. Yeah.
Fuck, they should do that. I mean, you have to.
I thought you were going to say, how could you cut the nets down? I've done it before, not a big deal. What? America's Championship 2019.
You remember that big cat? There's a video and picture. I don't know if that's...
I'm part of the team. Okay.
If I was a neutral broadcaster, of course, I'm part of the team. I'm learning the rules.
I'm learning to keep the... You keep the nylon? Yeah, I have it.
It's in Florida, but yeah. Did you frame it? No, I should.
You should make a bracelet out of it. Quick question.
Billy, how many America East championships did you win? Zero. Oh, that's tough.
Who's the real athlete? You know what? Give it to me. That is tough.
Do you have a ring? No ring. Fuck.
We should make you one. Anyone who's listening who's a ring maker, please make one for cake.
I would love to see them do how they do the Stanley Cup right after it's won, where they cut backstage to see the guy making the trophy, etching the names in. I would love to see them do how they do the Stanley Cup right after it's won, where they cut backstage to see the guy making the trophy, etching the names in.

I would love to see them have a camera on the guy that's editing,

like just sitting down with Final Cut opened up on his computer.

It's like adding the last bits to it.

He should be in it.

Yeah.

He should be in one shining moment at the end.

He should be the last one where he hits export, and that's the end of it.

Yeah.

No, that's the start of it.

That would be great. Oh, yeah.
Like he sends it. Yes.
Yeah. And it starts.
Whoa. Mind blown.
Yeah. That's fucked up.
Bill Walton would die if he saw that. Bill Walton.
Aneurysm. No, I'm actually worried that he might be in a different dimension right now.
Imagine dying from a text that blew your mind too much from Big Cat. Like, have I met Big Cat in a former life? It was only 9.30 there.
I was there. Yeah, I was.
Shit, I hope he responds. If not, we'll definitely try to just call him and be like, hey, we're taping.
All right, hot seat, cool thrown. Ready? When your home system or appliance breaks down, American Home Shield will help fix or replace the covered item, no matter its age.
Visit AHS.com slash listen for 20% off any plan. See AHS.com slash contracts for coverage details, limitations, and exclusions.
Henry. My hot tooth, Michael Strayhan.
Oh, yeah. Ooh.
I saw that. He got rid of the gap in his teeth.
Aw, that sucks. I thought he was always, his whole line was like, I'll never get rid of it that's my point yeah it's like that'd be like anthony davis shaving his eyebrow yeah that's weird right and he already had the tv job he had everything like established basically like urlacher getting hair yeah but urlacher was more when he was getting into tv michael strahan is already you know know, he's running shit.
Yeah, he's been everywhere. Right.
He's like the king of TV. Right.
What if he doesn't get any more jobs because of the TV? I mean, I recognize. What if he talks weird? His approval rating will probably.
I mean, people are used to seeing the gap, and it's like, you know. Everyone needs to flaw.
Embrace your imperfections, dude. Yeah.
I agree with that, Hank. At this point, you sold out.
If you had done this right after you stopped playing because you're like, I didn't want to get it fixed before I was done getting hit in my face all the time, I would understand that. But then afterwards, no, I don't like it.
That's why I don't get breast reduction surgery. Jonah Hill.
Right. Well, no, he just got skinny.
Yeah, for Moneyball. And then he was like, I'm not getting any rolls skinny.
No, but he's skinny right now. He got fat again.
Yeah, you're funnier when you're fat. He's skinny.
That's why Big Cat's hilarious tonight. Yeah.
I am so fat right now. I need to.
I actually honestly need to lose some weight. I think we spend so much time around each other that I think you look good, right? No.
Well, I have been on a diet for two days. Okay.
So that's probably why. That's what I noticed.
But yeah, let's say March is taking its toll. I wake up with a stomach ache most days from eating too much the night before.
That's a bad sign. Hank, your cool throne.
My cool throne was people on the West Coast because the Sweet 16 ratings were the best they've ever been or like the best in like 30 years. So they're going to probably continue to do this ridiculous late night schedule going forward,

which sucks.

Yeah.

Thoughts and prayers to all the kids out there.

Got to get up early for their zoom meetings and podcasters.

Yeah.

And mostly for us,

really mostly for us.

Is that it,

Hank?

Yeah.

Okay.

My hot seat is capital letters,

capital letters on the hot seat.

The Miami Marlins renamed their stadium tonight and it's the loan depot park and loan depot is with a lowercase l and they specified this park is always to be written with a lowercase p whoa that's the official name here's a real whoa i didn't realize this till today i never thought about it till today the the lowercase P is the same as the uppercase P just moved down, just like a little bit lower. Yeah.
But it's the exact same letter. Yeah.
Well, isn't it bigger too when it's uppercase? It might be. Yeah.
They make it smaller. Barely.
But if you were to move the lowercase P up to the normal of an uppercase letter- It would look small, but it would be the same. Basically, a perfectly average-sized letter.
Same but different. A little bit different, yeah.
I got you. I feel you.
From now on, we need to specify that it's a lowercase p. If I see anybody putting an uppercase p out there, I'm going to report you to, I don't know, a Bud Selig.
We should do that with Pardon My Take and then just resell all the merch. Be like, if you the uppercase p merch it's illegal yeah i like that like when players change their numbers yeah new segment it's called pardon my take and it's whenever we talk about the miami marlins ballpark yep i like it uh my cool throne is hugh jackson oh if you've been wondering what hugh jackson's up to recently i have not uh well he's doing a media tour again.
So good for Hugh. He likes to come out of the woodwork every, like, I don't know, eight months and remind people that he's not a bad coach.
Mike Silver written anything about him? He was not involved in this, but I'm sure that he— He'll get in, Max. I'm sure it was Mike's idea to go on the air and say this.
In his interview in Cleveland, Hugh Jackson told people that when he went one in 23 he got a secret contract extension but he was told not to disclose that and so it was a super secret contract extension technically he's still the head coach of the Browns this is actually the best spin zone that Hugh Jackson's ever done and he is that's all that Hugh Jackson does is try to find spin zones technically Hugh Jackson got the Brown the playoffs this year. Yeah, because he's still employed.
He's the shadow coach of the Cleveland Browns. I just respect the hell out of Hugh for not giving up, for dying on the hill of saying 1-31 is actually not a bad head coaching record.
Hugh needs a friend who can just be like, Hugh, maybe instead of just hitting on every girl at the bar, maybe just chill out and see if maybe any, like, come up and talk to you. Because it's getting a little desperate.
It's starting to reek of desperation. He's wearing me down.
Yeah. Yikes.
He's wearing me down. But I do like the idea that he is the shadow head coach.
I'm going to consider Hugh Jackson the shadow, the actual head coach of the Browns until I think he's got like another year left. Yeah.
Yeah. Okay.
All right. My hot seat is Jake because, Jake, you ready to do it? He is going to read us some of Kevin Durant's Instagram DMs to Michael Rapport.
Maybe just the last ones that Dave posted. Maybe just read those.
Yeah, there you go. So Kevin Durant is the most online person of all time.
I think he has done the impossible. Usually when people are more online, they become worse people.
Like, I know I'm a worse person for being online all the time. Kevin Durant has become more likable by being online more.
Yeah, well well i don't know if he's been online more he's been higher concentrated on one account online he stays online he's saying it with his chest online like people who stay online just suck yes kevin durant i agree i think i we used to call him the baby back bitch on this show no now i think he's super cool Kevin. Yeah, no, he is super cool Kev.

Yeah.

Yeah, no, he's...

And we're not just trying to say this

because we've actually made a turn on him

like a year ago, I feel like.

We've been like, yeah, actually, we kind of like him.

And I think it helped that he left the Warriors

even though he just has even more

of a super team on the Nets, but that's fine.

The Nets don't hurt anyone.

No.

The Nets are like just... Whatever.
They're kind of around. If the Nets win but that's fine.
The Nets don't hurt anyone. No.
The Nets are like just whatever.

They're kind of around.

If the Nets win the title, it'd just be like, okay, cool.

There aren't that many Nets fans even in the New York area.

No, no.

I live in Brooklyn.

I think it's just us.

I don't see anyone wearing Nets gear ever.

So I'm cool with the Nets.

The Nets are just.

Well, yeah, we want Blake to win, obviously.

That's what I was going to say, Jake.

Okay, go ahead. You just got double-crossed.
Yeah, you did get double-crossed big time. The ultimate double-cross.
You thought I wasn't going to bring up Blake. Wow.
He's probably listening to this podcast right now. These are Kevin Durant's Instagram DMs to Michael Rapaport.
You called your lawyer like the pussy Pussy. You are.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. That's how many ha ha's were in it.
And he did it like the ha ha ha ha ha ha. You couldn't talk Portnoy talking.
Shit. Defamation of character.
Crying emojis. Pussy.
Ass.

Want a lawyer up?

Your wife mad as fuck.

Because you're wasting that little bit of money on lawyers

because you can't take a joke.

How pussy

are you? Your wife doesn't even

respect your bitch ass.

And now Michael

Ravort posted these himself. He was like, you know what's going to be cool? If I post Kevin Durant owning me.
It was a very bizarre decision. You know what? He needs to sue himself for defamation for posting those.
Seriously. KD, cool guy, Kev.
We need to drink after you. It's a Manhattan with Malibu, and it thinks it's a Gosling.
All right. My cool throne is Spotify because they invented radio.
So they have invented a way for everyone to listen to podcasts live. Maybe people call in on the subway hot fresh line.
I don't know. But, yeah, I just love where we're at as a society that we just keep reinventing old things that we've talked about it with cable that's going on right now they have at some point someone's going to be smart enough to bundle all the subscription services we have and then I'll buy just that from like a third party yeah Comcast or someone Verizon in like a year people are going to be like you know what we love watching movies at home but it's really fun to watch movies with a bunch of friends so why don't we make like a giant screen and then people can all go watch it together yes so uh we just keep reinventing old things but yeah radio is now back and radio is on the cool to run and spotify is on the cool to run way to go guys so there was a meeting that big cat and i had like four years ago i forget exactly who it was with but it was like one of these tech companies i think and they were talking to us about doing like different stuff with part of my take with them and they suggested what if we could do like a live element of the podcast where listeners could call in and actually like give you feedback and you could get their takes and talk to them and me and big cat looked at each other and big cat looked over at them and he goes did you just invent the radio yeah i was like okay cool i it's i i wish i had uh i mean i do we do reinvent things on this show all the time but it's just so funny when they like do the press release and no one just proofreads and like hey wait think this is radio.
And they actually threw in, I'll give Spotify credit, they threw in concerts too. Because you can now listen to bands play live and maybe even go see them live.
That's a concert. You know what would be cool? If they did that, they took the concept that they invented right now, but they kind of made it micro-centralized in different locations.
Because if like if i'm in washington dc i want to hear more talk about the football team or the capitals yes if you're in chicago you want to hear about the bears yes and so maybe if they had a bunch of different podcasts that they had do this i like for each different city that and then you could get even local advertisers to do like smaller deals but it was more impactful because of the local market. Here's an issue, though, PFT.
I was thinking about this. So they're like, hey, you can listen live to Joe Rogan, but what if you miss it live? They should be able to store it, and then you should be able to download it on your phone.
And what are we going to call it? And then listen to it afterwards. Audio on demand.
Okay, Galaxycast. Postcast.
Oh, I like that. Tune into our postcast later.
I like it a lot. Alex Jones used to call it his retransmission.
That sounds way cooler. Jake, do you have a hot seat cool throw on before we get to Dallas Braden? Yeah, hot seat is Bruce Arians.
He got a tattoo of the Bucs winning the Super Bowl and the last time a coach got a tattoo of a championship. Well, I'm not going to say who.
I have respect. I want to protect my guys.
Wait, wait, wait. The last time a coach got a tattoo on his shoulder of a championship, that very same coach went overseas, dominated the Greek market, came back to New York, and made the NCAA tournament in his very first year.

Yep.

That coach?

Yep.

That Hall of Famer?

So it should be Cool Throne.

Yeah.

Bruce Arians, make his bust right now.

Yeah, exactly.

Have him bust right now.

Okay.

Good one.

That wasn't a joke.

No, what?

Seriously, Big Cat.

That wasn't a joke.

Big Cat, are you trying to get me killed?

No, that wasn't a joke. And then Cool Throne is Jim Nance because it is Jim Nance week next week.
Final Four to Masters. Plus, get ready for the storyline.
He's calling his alma mater in the Final Four, Houston. Oh, yeah.
Only Jake. Only Jake would not tell you that one.
Yeah, but it's also a huge conflict. Impartially? Yeah, Jake.
He has an award named after him. What is it called? Remember in my interview? No.
I got ninth place in 2018. In the gym dance award.
Yeah. Got it.
You don't remember that? I do. No, you don't.
No, I do. You looked it up because you thought it was a fake award.
Ian Eagle's son won it. He was up there, yeah.

What?

He didn't win it?

He got second.

My other friend got first.

Got it.

Everyone does great, though.

Top 10.

Yeah.

You were ranked at the end of the season.

Yeah, everyone's great, though.

When they expand the playoffs, you still wouldn't make it, but that's still good.

What do you mean?

Like when they expand the playoffs to eight, you still would be on the outside. You still wouldn't make it, but you'd be the first team out.
You'd be the team we'd all debate. Yeah, we'd be like, Jake Marsh deserved to be in the playoffs.
Yeah, if Ian Eagle's son got COVID, you would replace it. Stop, stop.
That's not nice. No.
But wait, Jake, you just said that Jim Nance will be able to do it impartially because he has a trophy named after him. Well, that just shows how credible he is.
How impartial he is. Yeah.
I don't know about that. The reputation.
I'm going to keep an eagle eye on Jim Nance. I see what you did there.
What? No, but everyone on the list, whether he made it or didn't make it, you're all great broadcasters. So keep up the good work.
Yeah, you're the real MVPs. Yeah.
Right. All right, let's get to our interview with Dallas Braden talking some baseball.
Dallas Braden is being brought to you guys by our great friends over at Norton 360 with LifeLock. It's truly amazing what they expect us to share online.
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save 25% or more off your first year of you go to norton.com slash pmt that's norton.com slash pmt save 25 percent or more off your first year of norton 360 with lifelock and now here's dallas braden okay we now welcome on our good friend co-worker it is dallas braden uh he once threw a no hitter we all know that uh dallas like? I've never. He threw a game with no hits.
We don't have to go down this path again. Great to see you.
Not the wrong guy. How's it going? Great to talk to you.
Baseball is back on Thursday. So let's talk some baseball.
I have a very important question to start off. Fire.
How dead are the balls? Oh not not as dead as you might think man i'm not not as dead as you might think we've seen guys fist some johnny's out you know what i mean we've seen some some like what the how did that ball creep out sort of moments as well but it's arizona so the ball flies those are the games i'm watching florida maybe not so much, but nonetheless. But that is something to pay attention to because the reason spring training might not give you a lot of information there is because those balls can at times be a mixed bag, if you will, a mixed satchel of balls that they're throwing out.
Do you think that they kind of do some A-B testing during spring training where they know which balls are juiced, which ones aren't, and they kind of monitor those? There are conversations about that, PFT, but there's nobody that's going to raise their hand and be like, yeah, that's going on. Because we've had conversations where folks have come out and outright just completely denied the idea that any sort of tampering of any kind could be going on with balls right like who who can't just raise their hand and be like yeah i was i was touching the balls i was like yeah so all right so the balls might not be a big deal i've heard it's somewhere around like you would take about five feet off of every home run so yes so that that seems like it will over a long season will obviously change it a little bit.
What about the other ball question I have? What about these humidors that there's like, so some teams have the humidors and apparently there's some more humidors that have been installed in different stadiums and for people who don don't follow baseball or know what's going on, essentially some stadiums, there's five stadiums that we don't even know they have humidors. We know like Arizona and Colorado do.
And it takes the moisture out of the ball, or no, keeps the moisture in the ball, deadens the ball. Where the hell are these humidors, Dallas? I mean, these things are like under lock and key right like same sort of like uh like federal reserve type security can't let any tampering of any sort going on so just like you know just like you or i you know you're trying to keep track of who's touching whose balls they got those things monitored 24 7 you're not just you know they're not letting just any old tom dick or harry get near those balls.
So they've got those things stored away. People are watching those things.
Right, right. But what I think Big Cat's asking is, which teams are the ones that have them? Not like, where do they keep them like Fort Knox buried underneath? If I'm looking down the list of highest altitude stadiums, you've got the Rockies, Diamondbacks, then after them, Braves, Royals, Twins, Pirates.
Would it make sense that the highest altitude stadiums have them got the rockies diamondbacks then after them braves royals twins pirates would it make sense that the highest altitude stadiums have them so twins have one we there's some teams that we know have them but there's also some new ones that we don't know only baseball this is why baseball like the fact that we're even having this conversation like hey they changed the ball could you imagine going into uh a football or basketball season and being like we think they changed the thing that they play with but we don't actually know look at what they did look at look at what they did with qb1 too i mean they they crucified that individual as well as some other ball fondler right and and he got i mean like lives were changed forever when when that happened so like yeah you're right like baseball like it's it's odd that they can just sort of all willy-nilly like they'll go tossing balls to and fro and really not have anybody to answer to right when you pick up a ball can you tell like right off the bat like yeah this one's gonna sail uh yeah well i mean not necessarily this one's gonna sail what you can tell right away is how like just how hard this is. And I guess actually PFT.
Yeah. Well, I mean, not necessarily this one's going to sail.
What you can tell right away is how like just how hard this is. And I guess actually PFT, yeah, to a point that it's going to sail, but more so how it's going to sail out of your hand.
And then you kind of know what that end result is going to be like if you can't control this thing. but you feel how hard it is.
You feel the height of the laces, the width of the laces.

Like you feel all of that. I did a thing um i actually interviewed a astrophysicist meredith wills who um out of the oakland coliseum and we tested multiple baseballs and like i could she she ran a test on me and i could grab the ball and i could identify you know what year it was from and that's just you grab it every day, you know what the difference is if you were to feel something foreign.
Can we do a headline grab? Because I want to get you to talk some percentages for us. So we're going to toss out the Oakland A's.
So this does not involve the athletics. Out of the non-Oakland A's teams in Major League Baseball.
What percentage of them do you think have a pitcher who doctors the ball? Oh, okay. Doctors the baseball.
Now, I would have to ask you to define, just so I understand what parameters I'm working under here, what is doctor? Right. So I feel like we're overdue for a spitball scandal.
That's something that hasn't happened in baseball in a while. So I'm talking spit.
I'm talking like a little Vaseline. I'm talking a nail file.
I'm talking a foreign substance that is knowingly being being used as contraband and kept on the pitcher's person. now it gets kind of dicey when you're like is that too much pine tar is there pine tar on like

knuckles or whatever I'm talking like it's got to be

a big glob for pine person now it gets kind of dicey when you're like is that too much pine tars or pine tar on like

one of his knuckles or whatever i'm talking like it's got to be a big glob for pine tar to count but like another foreign substance what i'll put it this way what percentage of non-athletics uh pitchers in general do you think are doctoring the ball in some way shape or form I would say probably somewhere in the north of 80%.

Whoa.

That's – way shape or form um i would say probably somewhere in the north of 80 percent oh that's that's so high does baseball have a ball doctoring problem damn in terms of in terms of guys that just like that would use pine tar or something of that nature uh but in terms of guys who would even be in the realm of like nail file Vaseline type stuff, those are egregious offenses that you don't see today just because the game is watched and monitored to the extent that it is. But what you do to substitute that is if balls are scuffed, you know, a ball gets thrown in the dirt, whatever, you do your best if you can, if you're somebody who knows how to use that scuff, to try to get that baby back because you do know how to control that.
That's adding a rudder to the baseball. And now you can make that thing move in ways that the dude, like, you know what I mean? If you've already faced me twice and you know what my shit is doing, you know what it's looking like, and now I get a scuffed ball and I add eight, nine inches of movement to that in the seventh inning in a big spot you're going what the hell was that and all it was was a scuff my stuff is still terrible it's just moving a lot more now and you didn't expect that okay um so let's talk some teams let's talk some teams um i want to start with probably the most interesting team coming into uh this year because of new ownership.
It's the New York Mets. So Steve Cohen takes over.
My question to you is you talk to players, you talk to people around the league. How much does it change the perception of the Mets when it comes to free agents or guys wanting to go play there, knowing that Steve Cohen has – like people – I think people don't fully grasp just how much more rich steve cohen is than everyone else it's it's it's insane it's like we we joke like oh what does he do buy a world series well yeah he very well could because he has that much he has double the money of like the next guy so how much does that change the perception of players and people around the league i think initially the shock values there you're excited about it because you're like yo uncle money bags is in the house let's start breading all of these chickens up and passing out titties to everybody let's do that uncle stevie and that's what you kind of have to wait to be seen now right like when does the lindore extension go down does that go down how does that work out, maybe Conforto as well.
Like, how do they play this? That's what you kind of have to wait to be seen now, right? Like, when does the Lindor extension go down? Does that go down?

How does that work out?

Maybe Conforto as well.

Like, how do they play this?

That's what you're waiting to see.

So you can be excited about what the dude represents initially.

That's going to make some noise.

But after the noise calms, has he kicked any dust?

Like, is there movement?

What do we got?

Show me, right?

And from there, that's where the money and the walking the rock, talking talking the talk put your money where your mouth is type of stuff gets answered and and that's where we'll be able to reflect and go we were excited about that but your boy couldn't even come up with the money to lock up francisco lindor the dude who could have been the face of their future the face of the franchise they couldn't figure that out i thought uncle stevie was supposed to be this guy this savior what? We'll be having that conversation if it doesn't happen. Yeah.
So around the league, how does that, is there like an impact on players in general? Like knowing that one of the richest people in America has now purchased a team. So there's more money that's going to be spent eventually.
Like is the level of competition in baseball going to go up a little bit? Just knowing that free agent salaries are probably going to go up because you've got Daddy Warbucks over here ready to shell it out? Well, dude, PFT, and let's roll out. I mean, come on.
Can we just put some – can we get – let's extend the league by two just so Mark Cuban can have something to do with the money in his ashtray. Let's do that, and let's get him involved as well.
And you want to see what happens. It's going to be the Cohen Cuban Bowl, right?

I mean, that's what it's going to be.

I'm here for that, absolutely, but that's talking as a player

who would love to see this money just get thrown around to these dudes.

But yeah, to answer the question, it does change the perception initially

because you're like, oh, did they just become a real player?

You know, it's like that first time you walk in to test drive a car

and you're like, you don't have to do that background check on your boy anymore right yeah you know what i mean i i'm happy you brought up mark cuban so this is to put it into perspective mark cuban everyone thinks oh that's the rich guy steve cohen has 10 billion dollars more than him 10 billion dollars more than mark cuban that's insane so it's laughable yeah it's clearly going to change a lot of things especially in the NL. Now, in terms of the NL, I would assume that everyone's kind of line is it's the Dodgers to lose.
The Dodgers and the Padres are going to be a great race out west. The east, you have the Mets and the Braves and maybe toss in the Nationals.
And then the Central just sucks. I'll admit it.
Like the Central, who knows who's going to come to Central. So give us the overall landscape of the NL as you see it.
Well, I think you kind of did a great job of wrapping it all up when you hit the Dodgers and you hit the competition that is them between the Padres. That's a great new rivalry that has sort of taken the place of the Giants-Dodgers without the Giants being as competitive as they are.
So to know that that division is going to have some tension at some point, that's fun. That's exciting.
And let's not forget, and Jared does a great job, my partner on Starting Nine, download the stripe, does a great job of pointing out that the Braves, like it was essentially the Braves and they blew it and handed it to the Dodgers. And so that's, what's going to be really exciting to watch is those teams right there, that division battle, but then the Braves and, and what are the, what are the Mets going to do? Because I don't know that whatever the central turns out to be is going to be competitive enough to compete with any one of those two division winners.
So from there, I do think the conversation starts with the Dodgers and very well could end with the Dodgers. Okay, so I have a take and I want you to judge it here because I do think the Padres are electric.
The Padres are a lot of fun to watch. Yes.
Fernando Tatis Jr.

Yes. We're all excited about watching him.

He hasn't even had, essentially, I think he's under 600 plate appearances in his career.

Is there a chance he might not have a great season because people figure him out and it's a quote-unquote sophomore slump even though it's his third year?

And is there a chance that happens and we maybe got a little bit ahead of ourselves with the hype?

Well, there's always that chance, and that's what's going to be interesting about him is to see what adjustments are made. Because what's cool and interesting about this dude and his adaptability is at one point in time last year, or the year before, I believe, when he struggled, who did he call it? He called his dad in,? Former big leaguer, brought his dad in, and they just start grinding in the living room, going to work, watching a game or two, and then locking in the adjustments that they probably made on the drive over from the airport.
And if he's got that kind of feel and that kind of adaptability, how does that come about when and if he starts to struggle? to what extent does he start to struggle? Because the pressure to compete with the Dodgers is going to be very real. So on top of competing against a league that's making adjustments to him, he has to figure out how to divvy up that pressure and performance and create a balance for himself where he's now not relying, like, you know what I mean? He's not trying to move that in.

Right.

Is he right?

So, so yes, there's always that, that slope you're riding on.

Like, that's the question is people are like, did,

did we give him too much money?

Did they give him too much money to not really have an idea? And it's like, look, that dude's going to sell tickets.

And he has already shown you superstar capability. Now it's about sustainability.
Right. Right.
What about the American League? Do you think that there's a chance that this year is the year where the Yankees will finally win that World Series, get in the discussion of elite franchises? It's been a while since they've been there. It's been a while since they won.
It's actually the first decade in, I think, 100 years that they didn't go to the World Series. It's crazy.
That's unfortunate. Yeah, I mean, right now, they're little brother in this town right now.
It's like the Mets are the talk of the town. Oh, they absolutely are.
Yeah, the Yankees are going to be the rotten core of that apple if things continue to trim this way. I mean, they've got the homerun here to the strongest strongest man in baseball luke voigt he's got to go get meniscus cleaned up because he's carried the yankees quite literally bad foot bad wheel now like this is how it goes but luke voigt is carrying the club boys it's got it's a it's a tough come on yeah i don't know it's about health again for those dudes and hate to put it on that, but when you've got the behemoths you have in the lineup and they've been the question marks, there's really like, there's not much assessing to be done after that.
In my opinion, same thing can be said about the starting rotation, like Garrett Cole. Cool.
What's DV going to look like? You know, like what are the guys after the cy young favorite look like and for me it's just always going to be health with that lineup always so uh in the al uh the yankees are i think they're they're the presumptive favorite the white socks it feels like this is going to be a year where they're going to make a lot of noise although eli's injury was that was insane that they even had even had him out there. I don't understand that.
I actually want to say Theo won the trade because he knew that he was a detriment to himself in the field. But so – and then there's a few others.
I mean, obviously the Rays have played – they were in the World Series last year. Give us maybe like a dark horse team in the AL that you could see making it a deep run in the playoffs.
Ooh, a deep run in the playoffs. And you're talking outside, like outside of the White Sox.
That's because I think they've got the central, I don't want to say pretty locked up or taken care of. I mean, look, this might be a homer call, but there's no reason that the Oakland A's, there's no reason that the Oakland A's can't make a run deeper into the postseason than they did last year.
They're talking about the Astros being the division favorite. That's fine.
That's fine. The A's have got a guy coming off hip surgery who's just a platinum player.
That's all. That's Matt Chapman.
Matt Olsen very well could lead the league in home runs. Baseball.
Fuck the league. Baseball.
He very well could lead baseball in home runs. And they've got a sneaky rotation right now.
I mean, all they've got is a top prospect in A.J. Puck ready to step in and put people's shoes of a guy named Mike Fiers who's done nothing but deal at home for the Oakland A's.
So if they can figure out a way to run Mike Fiers out at home and have them compete at home, then A.J. Puck, whatever he's at, come on, guys.
Let's be real. Let's be real.
I don't know if there's going to be a boost on the Barstool Sportsbook or not. Maybe stay tuned.
Maybe not. I'm just saying, just saying.
Okay. I do like that we we've got you as our analyst and you'll come on here every time just unabashedly be like the oakland days have a real shot at winning it all i like that i i like everybody that has like you've got a great gig going out there in oakland but like never throw away that homerism you should be a homer for life and don't apologize for it either i don't you know what pft i had the greatest homer of all time tell me that he loved what i did hawk harrelson oh i thought you were saying jared karabas no hawk the greatest homer to ever step into a booth hawk harrelson he truly is hawk would hawk would just like just root for the Sox so hard that it wasn't even close to unbiased, which I actually love.
I love that about baseball. I think that when you watch the national game on Wednesday or Sunday, you kind of lose a little bit of that.
When you watch the playoffs, you lose a little bit of that, where it's the guys who know your team and who are announcing your team all year, and that's who're used to yeah who else don't sleep on the twins either pft don't sleep on the twins never do yeah twinkies those were i mean melison cruz is i believe 1012 years old and still hitting 5 000 foot home run like just don't sleep i will not i will not sleep on the twins what about the brewers what about our our Milwaukee Brewers with Christian Yelich? Just please tell us that Christian Yelich is not going to win the home run derby this year. Oh, who's hungry? No, no.
That's I, I don't know if you guys know this, but there's a conversation in baseball about Christian Yelich having to compete in the Home Run Derby each and every year. And I don't even, I don't know, I don't know what it's about.
I'm not sure, but that's just something that like, if Christian Yelich wakes up that day and his heart is still beating, they will roll him out to the batter's box just so he he's like a it's like a master's thing like you win the jacket you're grandfathered in you get this thing you can play here for life if you want it's kind of like that's how yelly has the derby on lock now just be i don't know what it is i don't know what happened we've we've already figured it out though if he ends up winning a home run derby then then i'm just going to shave a little piece of PFT's ass, shave a little piece of my ass, we're going to make it chilly, and we'll eat it. We will literally eat ass.
We'll be cannibals. Not the hair.
No, no, actual skin. Just take a little razor.
I feel like this is a side step. You've seen Goodfellas, the way that they slice the garlic in prison.
They're going to do that to my butthole. Being a cannibal is not a problem for me.
It's the, shout out Army Hammer, it's the actual eating of each other's asshole that would be a problem. There should be no problem in there.
I'm sure there's a little excess in there. You just nick a little off the air balloon.
You'll be just fine. Jesus Christ.
When you put it that way, it sounds a little lessizing um dallas uh i my last question about this baseball season so they've kept a couple of the weird rules i don't know how i feel about this so they got they no universal dh but they have kept man on second to start extra innings and this i love the seven inning double headers what what do you think about the man on second extra innings? I hate that. I think it's, it's like almost like rec league softball.
It's, it's tough to swallow early on. No doubt.
I think if you're looking at it more from a, like it depends on which way you're looking at it competition standpoint, you understand what goes into building a nine inning game as a player, competing guys in thepen stepping up helping each other out the starter stepping up and maybe carrying and doing an entire day's work giving the bullpen a rest that that matters and guys know how much that matters over the course of a long season to have those days get picked up by either the pin or the starter or a a guy goes off, hits three tanks, and just carries the offensive load. So that's great.
But then when you get into those late innings, like at the big league level, what happens is guys get sent down after they've pitched three innings in relief, four innings in relief, right? They now get sent down and you may never see that dude again, all because he pitched well in relief and ate up those innings. And now because you can't use him for the next three, four days, he goes down and now who knows what happens? Maybe the next time he goes out in three, he gets banged up.
God forbid something twinges. He doesn't feel right because he just went four in the big leagues, got sent down because they had to play 16 innings.
They didn't have a chance to win this thing in the 10th, 11th, 12th, so on and so forth. So I can understand the business side trying to protect resources.
I can also understand the player side, the competitive side where, where yo we just built this nine inning ball game this nine inning theater and we're not about to just watch some slap to come in here and take second and and blow it because he wasn't ready like no that's bullshit right so i can see it from both ways but i i want look man we're trying to speed up a game that doesn't have a clock which is true true true i love the seven inning double headers i think that's great that there should be more double headers there should be double header day give guys more you know give teams more off days sundays that's how they used to roll man sundays or even just have it in the middle of the week because i love day baseball in the middle of the week that would be beautiful so they do that. When you're a Cubs fan and you're abused,

it's in your DNA to not know what it's like

to be able to play baseball at night for a certain amount of time.

Day baseball is the best.

Friday afternoon at Wrigley is the greatest thing in the world.

It's phenomenal.

I agree with you.

I agree with you, man.

The A's played the second most day games behind the Cubs.

Yeah, yeah.

Love it.

Give me your top three for

MVP and then also top three for

Cy Young.

Like

AL, I think you got to talk about

Mike Trout.

I know it's like

how far down on the list is he going to go?

There's no

reason that he can't

still be a guy. I know Alex Bregman's a name that's been thrown around.
National League, why not Milwaukee Betts? Why not another guy on his team? Cody Bellinger. Why not a guy like Ronald Acuna Jr.? That's somebody that I'm paying paying attention to Ronald Acuna Jr.
I like he's awesome. I like him a lot.
Cy Young, American League again, Garrett Cole. That's a great place to start.
I know Tyler Glasnow's name has been kicked around. I think there's a lot of growth that would have to occur for him to be a serious consideration.
Then you got to go with guys who I think are like stalwarts in that area, which are Giolito, Bieber, MB Biebs. I mean, the dude who basically had the Cy Young locked up after his first start last year, just undressing people.
You know, why not Walker Buehler? Howard Chaboy, I think that dude is going to light some shit up this year, if I'm being frank.

And maybe Trevor Bauer.

Well, I mean, that's a dude that we're excited to see,

how that kind of pans out over a full season, right?

And Hugh Darvish, who I think should have won the Cy Young last year for the Cubs, now on the Padres in a park that he should be, like,

killing it in in so he's

another guy. Well him like him and

Snell right both those dudes. Yeah

it's interesting too because

guys like that or situations like that you

wonder if there's a chance that those votes

get taken from each other or if they compete

so well that they start to cancel

each other out which you hate to see but you love

to see what that body of work looks like

if you're a baseball fan at the end of award

season it might kind of break your heart because you're like

well shit I wanted that guy but

Thank you. each other out, which you hate to see, but you love to see what that body of work looks like if you're a baseball fan.
At the end of awards season, it might kind of break your heart because you're like, well, shit, I wanted that guy. But.
So how does the fans returning impact the game? Because I think a lot of stadiums are going like 5,000. Some are going 25%.
Some are going 50%. In a stadium like, I think probably the Rangers are one of the most, right? They're 50% capacity right now.
I believe the Rangers are actually offering a fan experience where if you pay triple your price of season tickets, they'll let you play in the hip pocket of the player. Like you can be right there.
Who does that favor more? Does that favor the offense or the defense? I'll say this, dude. It absolutely favors the home team because in baseball, there's ebbs and flows, just like in football.

You know,

if your boy's got the rock,

it's about getting behind them.

And that energy is a little different than it is.

If it's a goal line stand,

if you're in the red zone,

trying to make a stop,

you know, those noises change same for baseball.

And,

and this is like what you're going to see now,

like the,

the,

the Astros tour that happened last year.

Yeah.

It's going to be different this year, man. It's going to be different this year because I don't care that it's 5,000, 10,000 fans, whatever.
They're going to hear it, and they didn't hear it last year. And I hate to even bring that up for it to be a thing, but that's what we talk about is the fan experience.
How does that change? And it's odd that my DMs are still to this day flooded and getting more so in spring training about people that are like yo i just can't wait to come to these astros games i can't wait for this they got off the hook last year yeah you gotta remind people thank you for bringing that up we need to do a better job as a podcast and i think just as journalists in general in this conversation of reminding people that the astros did not get their tour last year and if you go to attend an Astros game it would be important to remind the players of the integrity of the game that we love the the game that we're custodians of that we're charged with taking care of and ensuring the safety of for future generations it would be important to remind players about the integrity that's necessary to play that game. As a keeper of the game, PFT, it is your duty, my man.
It is your duty. It is our duty.
Give us a final question. Give us a, oh, actually, the Roback question.
Use code AWL on Roback.com for 20% off your first purchase. R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com.
And for you, Dallas, we have a Roback performance Q-Zip that we will send to you. So we'll make sure that gets you.
Roback.com. Use code AWL.
All right, give us your World Series and your champion, and you can't use the A's. Oh, man.
Can't use the A's? Can't use the A's. Can't use the A's, but we'll say the A's are going to win the World Series.
There, that's set. Now give us what would happen if the A's didn't win the World Series.
Who would be in it and who would win it? I think it's going to be the Dodgers again. And I mean,

I,

Oh man,

I don't know if I'm ready to see,

we're doing the predictions.

We're doing our predictions in a day and a half.

So this is subject to change. It can't be held completely to this right now,

but I believe the Dodgers are going to be there.

I believe the white socks are a team.

Oh,

that is,

is being strongly considered.

I just,

I,

I feel like if they can handle business in their division,

I like, man, I just like how they're built.

Can you give me one tasty future?

Just like on the outside looking in.

Ooh.

If everything goes right for this team, you could see them making a run.

Oh, I mean, like you would have to, like, I don't know how.

Ooh.

Ooh.

I mean, I think that would be the Padres. Yeah.
Okay. And they're fun to root for.
Yes. Yes.
Yeah. I think that's a tasty future right there because they got to compete against those boys in blue and they got to get past Atlanta if that's going to be a thing.
And Atlanta was going to be the other tasty, but I feel like San Diego, I feel like Slam Diego is a little tastier. I just like saying Slam Diego.
It's very cool. Alright, Dallas, thank you.
Everyone go subscribe to Starting Nine. It is a fantastic baseball podcast.
Baseball season is back. You'll see Dallas and hear from him all the time.
Thank you, Dallas. And congrats again on that no-hitter, dude.
Appreciate you guys. I don't know what that...
Thank you. Thank you.
If you need something signed, I can get that to you, but I'm not a big no-hitter. I don't collect those.
Those are good. Yeah.
Yeah. Thank you.
Yeah. Yeah, right.
Yeah, right. Beat it.
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Okay, let's wrap up.

We got some FAQs to send you on your way.

Late night show.

Hank.

Billy.

All right, we got some good ones today. Okay.
Oh, okay. I mean, that's...
They're always good. We always have good ones.
We got some great ones today. They're our special people.
Yeah, we do. Hi, my name is Joey, and my question is, if Billy and Big Cat had a kid...
Hey, Joey! ...and PFT and Billy had a kid, whose kid would beat the other kid up? That's a good question. If we're going off of...
Well, we would because it's Billy's kid, so we would be going off of Billy's measure for beating up. Billy and my kid would be taller than Billy and PFT.
You don't know that. I might be a late bloomer, Big Cat.
I would say that's almost guaranteed. So, Billy, according to your rules, the taller the person, the guaranteed.
You see, PFT has fast twitch muscles. I do.
I'm very fast twitch. Billy, I noticed something, by the way.
I noticed that you haven't called out Francis Ngannou yet. Dude, come on.
What? That's a death sentence. So are you for him? Your hands are dead a death sentence.
No, no, no, my hands are legal, but they're not that good yet. Wait, wait, wait, your hands are legal? I thought they were.
That guy. You're walking back now.
He's a monster. So you're not calling him out? No, not at all.
So you think that he. I'm strictly not fighting actual fighters.
I know I'm not a real fighter fighter. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So you definitely wouldn't call him out? No, 100%. So what you said to me yesterday when you're like, I think he's kind of a pussy.
No, I never said that. That guy blew up in a sand mine.
If Dave paid enough money, I would fight him. No.
Okay, all right, cool. All right, so I just wanted to make sure the record was straight.
Hey, Bugcat and PFT Caterpillar. When's the last time you guys were stung by a bee slash wasp slash hornet slash mosquito? Also, can I get a power ranking on those four? Big come up for the mosquito being lumped in there with the bee and the hornet.
Yeah, not even close. A single hornet, like, actually, you know what? A mosquito is the most deadly animal on Earth.
Well, no, diarrhea. Triple E.
But where do they get the diarrhea from?

No, that's malaria.

Yeah, malaria causes diarrhea.

Oh, it is.

Triple E was like the original COVID.

Stop in sports.

What was?

We used to not be able to practice sports

because of Triple E.

What's Triple E?

Mosquito.

Oh, that's a mass thing.

Yeah.

What does Triple E mean? It's like a mosquito virus. West Nile? No, it was a thing in mass.
At church? If there was enough reported triple E. Oh, triple E.
We couldn't practice outside after like four o'clock. Got it.
Yeah, if there was enough reported cases, it was like deer to humans. Eastern equine encephalitis.
There it is. So it's been a long time since I've been stung by a bee or a hornet.
Yeah, so I think it's been probably like 15 years. I tend to avoid things that have stingers.
That's just a good rule of thumb in life. I would go mosquito number one because as we mentioned, they do kill, they're like mass murders.

It's a slaughter out here.

I'd go Mosquito one,

Hornet two, B

three. I'm currently dealing with a

big ant problem because my son is just

a crumb factory, so

I'm dealing with, I haven't been

around a Hornet or a B in a long time, but

ants? No,

they're little pussy ants. I kill them with my hands.

Not to say I'm strong and tough, but

I've killed probably 300 ants

to see you long time. Any reds? No.
They're little pussy ants. I kill them with my hands.
Not to say I'm strong and tough, but I've killed probably 300 ants this week with my fingers. So I am that tough.
You should take them, rescue them, get a little ant farm to show the intricacies of how smart ants really are. It's a catch-22 because my son causes the crumbs for the ants, but also I can't get the real ant traps because he would try to eat it, and that would be a problem as well.

We should send just a bunch of cookies and things that are crumbly to Bryson DeChambeau.

Yeah, ants everywhere.

We'll piggyback off that.

This question is for Dad Cat.

Dad to Dad, what's your favorite episode of Bluey?

Mine is the one where they go camping

and she meets Jean-Luc.

I like camping.

I like the Robot Dad.

Robot Dad's an awesome episode.

You guys should actually

watch Bluey just to watch it.

It's actually that good.

Is it one of those shows

where if you got really high

and turned it on,

like as an adult,

you would enjoy it?

Yeah, I'm saying

you don't have to get high

to enjoy it.

I'm saying take yourself out of drug guy mode for a second.

Say, just enjoy something for fun.

Have fun with something.

Enjoy life.

Serious?

Yeah.

All right, well, this kind of piggybacks off of that.

When can we expect review season to start a la King of Kong,

Fistful of Quarters, and Garbage Picking Field Goal Kicker?

That typically starts right after March Madness, right?

No, it starts right after all sports shut down and there's a pandemic because that's the only time we've done it. For real.
So, yeah, whenever the next pandemic happens, we will start that. No, remember we did it over the summer with Russillo that one time.
What did we review? It was Fyre Fest, yeah. Yeah, that's right.
Okay, so yeah, if there are certain phenomenons, then we'll probably review it, but yeah, it's not... That was a pandemic thing.
At least the garbage kicker was definitely a pandemic thing. It was, for sure, yeah.
So it was King of Kong. So it was King of Kong.
I would review the Netflix documentary about the admission scandal. That thing was fascinating.
I just started the F1 documentary. Everyone says it's good.
Oh, are we going to become F1 guys? A lot of hubbub going around. I fell asleep halfway through the first episode.
Always a good sign. It's great.
That's like me and that biking, the steroid biking one. What's it called? Icarus? Yes.
I snoozed through that. I thought it was fascinating.
Yeah, I know. That was like one award.
I'm with you on that one. Dude, I slept.
Yeah. We'll see slept Everyone says F1 is so good I'm going to see it through You know what honestly if we just talked about F1 on this podcast we would seem so classy I'm down to get in on F1 I read that whole blog that Logan posted I was like yeah this actually might be interesting I don't actually want to get in on it I just want to talk about it so that it seems like we're cool that maybe we're Mercedes adjacent.
It's a this league league. Okay.
Like big time drama. Like this league.
So that's why I want to get on it. King Kong Godzilla? What? To review? The movie that just came out? No.
It's coming out when this airs. Billy's trying to figure out ways to get us to buy him movies at home.
Yeah, should we review the new Avengers? It's $20 HD. Should we all do that as a project? We should do predictions.
We should probably do one Avengers, and then we should do an Avengers while also drinking Coors Light, so we'll have to put that on the tab as well. We should do predictions.
For what? For Godzilla, King Kong. Okay.
The Godzilla. I'll go King Kong.
Yeah, what are the odds? Give me the odds on it. Godzilla's got to be the heavy favorite.
I feel like... Who won the last one? King Kong could make him tap, though.
King Kong won, but Godzilla just swam away. So that's a win for King Kong.
Who won? King Kong. Who won the one before that? Well, it was just the one 1954.
Oh, that's the only one? Yeah, there was only one King Kong. Oh, they're going to do some lame-ass tie then.
I say tie. I'll take tie in regulation.
I like that. Mothra is going to come in and just land on him and smother him.
Plus do you honestly believe that pft is done making oral jokes no i i haven't to my credit i haven't made that many oral jokes no no i think i did like three of them no most of them suck anyways yeah there you go what is more important for the ideal male physique mass or girth billy this is a Billy question. We'll let you go with it.

Length. He's thinking about...
Skill.

What? You don't believe that.

Mass or girth? Dude.

Mass or girth. Are you doing the whole like it's not the

it's the motion of the ocean, not the size of the wave?

Yeah. It's in the hips.

Mass or girth? That shit is a lie

that people...

No, seriously. I don't know who started it, but that's a lie.
Mass or girth? That shit is a lie that people... No, seriously.
I don't know who started it, but that's a lie.

Just like...

Mass or girth, Billy?

I'm going to go with mass.

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Triple E.

All right.

What was everyone's first car?

It was a 1993 Chevy Astro.

That I owned? I think it was a Dodge Caravan. Purple.
Terrible car. And then I had Avalon for a very long time that I loved.
Very dearly. I was running through my list of vans that I went through as a kid.
I legitimately drove six vans. Is that a drug guy move to drive a van? I think it's a poor guy move.
What? Of course it's a drug guy move. That's heavy weight.
You're moving weight. Write a movie in the 70s through 2000s, and the drug guy is always in a van.
You're moving big time weight. Come on.
I had a, if this van is rocking, don't come a-knocking for three years when I was a virgin. Nice.
It was such a flex. Did it help or hurt? I just said I was a virgin for three years after I put that sign up.
So, yeah. No, it definitely helped.
Handjob King, though. Last one.
Dear Hank, the Cat, and TFT. Listen, both.
To myself. Can we expect more episodes like the Life episode with Titus and Rosillo? The interview with Andrew Hawkins a couple months back had a similar vibe and reminded me of how compelling that can be.
Sure. Yeah.
I mean, the problem is we discussed our entire lives in the last one. So I'm going to have to go back and...
Maybe psychoanalyze Billy in the next one.

Actually, yeah, we should do a Billy... Billy's life.

Billy, Jake, and Bubba's life.

Yeah, and we can just give you guys...

We can tell you guys how stupid or smart you are, depending on the person.

You can grade your lives.

Stupid, smart, stupid.

No one knows who I pointed to there.

I think they have a pretty good idea.

I just have it. All Alright, let's do numbers.
Is that it, Hank? Yeah. 31, 31, 31, 31.
32. 85, 65, 31.
47. First time to AK

Andres Karolenko

Oh yeah

Shout out AK

47 January 17th and February 4th

It's my sister's birthday

Shout out

January 4th

How old is she?

Love you guys

The most dangerous animals in the world. I'm talking away.
I don't know what I'm to say.

I'm saying anyway.

Today's a nightly day to find you.

Shine it away.

I'll be coming for your love again.

Shine it away.

I'll be coming for your love again.

Take on me. Take me on, I'll be gone In a day of change Needless to say, I'm all descended Oh yeah Take on me Take me on I'll be gone In a damn dream Of things that you say And is it all I'm all dream.
All the things that you say is reliable just to play my worries away. You're all the things I've got to remember.
You're shying away. You'll all be coming for you anyway.
You're shying away. You'll all be coming for were ready for Take on me, take me out

I'll be gone in a day It's Pardon My Take presented by Barstool Sports. Thank you.