
March Madness Is Awesome. Also NFL And NBA Things Happened
We’re back to being half coherent but this weekend was awesome. Jake’s shining moments and a ton of other stuff. Also white boy summer.
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Full Transcript
Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we have March Madness. We have so much March Madness.
It's coming out of our ears. If we sound like we did last Monday, it's because we're in the exact same spot that we were in last Monday, except now we're in Detroit, gambling our faces off responsibly, enjoying the madness responsibly.
So we're going to talk all that. We're going to talk NFL.
We're going to talk who's back. We're going to talk NBA being ruined by super teams.
Really? That's a take. The NBA? Hey, here's a take no one's ever said.
I'm not watching the NBA anymore because of the super teams. Wait, who is this about this this time well it could be la marcus aldridge could also be andre drummond putting la marcus aldridge in the super team conversation let's get ambitious let's save it yes yeah yeah we're gonna we're gonna end up doing the whole show we would we are so delirious we would just do the whole show beforehand and then just do all the ads after go full send on this this is bonus though for people that skipped this part.
Shout out the real ones that are listening to this. Put in QR code 689QTB8, number sign, dollar sign, comma, and then you get a free Bitcoin.
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Tweet us if you actually collected this NFT, and we'll reward you with an acknowledgement. Yeah, an acknowledgement.
Yes. Okay.
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Today is Monday, March 29th, and we're back to our brains melting.
Yeah, it's been another long weekend of basketball.
Detroit ate my face this week.
Oh, no, Detroit ate my kneecaps this weekend.
I am melting.
Wait.
I'm completely melting right now.
As hot as I was last week, I am exactly that cold. Water always finds its level.
I forgot to actually, can we redo that again? It's Pardon My Take, presented by Ball School Sports. Welcome to Pardon My Take.
Today is Monday, March 29th, and it's officially the start of White Boys Summer. There we go.
Well, now you took my who's back. Oh, fuck.
Yeah. My who's back was going to be white boys.
We'll save it. We'll save it.
Pretend like we didn't say that part either. Do a third one.
Do a third one. Do a third one.
Yeah. Okay.
It's Pardon My Take presented by Bob Spears Sports. Welcome to Pardon My Take presented by Bocardi.
Today is Monday, March 29th, and blood in your shoes is back. That's right.
Well, there goes my other one. Satan is back.
All right. So just pretend we didn't say white boy summer, but just know that white boy summer is happening right now.
I mean, that's implied if you're listening to part of my take after the month of March. So it is white boy summer, but March Madness.
We are back. We're in Detroit.
Our brains are melting. We watched so much action.
We did see a lot of action. There was a lot of action.
There was a lot of bad action this weekend. There was some really bad games.
Unders are back big time, with the exception of this game that's happening right now and then that miracle overtime game with UCLA and Alabama. I thinkama i think every under hit right yes so we're what it's in the middle of the oregon usc game right now the bill walton special the midnight special is going on but uh yeah unders are back big time hey i got i got a rick riley okay more like the skeet 16 because everyone's shooting erratically oh nice okay there are some good teams now let's let's let's recap it so let's start all the way at the beginning oregon state loyal chicago uh oregon state is just the greatest team of all time so if we're not going to say that about pretty much every team just be warned that i don't have a lot in my in my uh repertoire right now but they are the greatest team as of right now they do seem like they're the team of destiny right now right it like them and UCLA, I would say, are 1A and 1B in terms of team of destiny power rankings.
It was such a boring game. The first half, I took the under, the live under, which was 108 at halftime.
And no, I think it was like 103. And then it ended up almost going over for the full game.
So Oregon State, they finished the regular season season 14 and 12 they have the worst in the ken palm era uh since 1997 they have the worst home loss uh to a like terrible terrible team that as an elite eight team they have the worst home loss by far they lost to portland state this year at home who is ranked 322 in the nation they were 14 and 12 and since then they have won six straight games all against tournament teams they beat UCLA in overtime in the first round of the Pac-12 tournament they lose that game they're not in the tournament they then go and make a run through the Pac-12 tournament they make a run through the NCAA tournament tournament. And guess what? They're not even like, these games aren't even really close.
They killed Tennessee. They beat Oklahoma State somewhat soundly.
And Loyola Chicago, they were in control of this game the entire game. Or at least the entire second half.
So, I don't know. They're just the best team of all time.
Was it one of those situations where in order to rebound, you have to to hit rock bottom and so they hit rock bottom against portland state sometimes if you just have like a normally bad loss during your season you just move on to the next game but if you have to go home be like we just lost to portland state right then you have to really like make some make some decisions in your life it's like if you wake up uh on the bathroom floor and there's blood involved at that point you're like okay maybe i should take a week off drinking the best part about the march madness is uh for me well there's many many parts that are great but one of the best parts is how destinies of like coaches are made in a two three week stretch yeah wayne tinkle wayne tinkle is his name wayne tinkle uh he was 14 and 12. I don't know if he was going to be there forever, but he now is probably going to be like the next, when Cal Parry leaves, they're going to be like, Wayne Tinkle, remember that run he had with Oregon State? Like you can cement your legacy.
He will live off this forever. Yeah, yeah.
Well, I mean, he sounds like maybe the next Texas coach. Yeah, Wayne Tinkle.
A big big program that's in need of somebody you go for the guy that won some games in march and wayne tinkle's winning in hinkle isn't that cool wayne tinkle is just a cool name yeah so that game uh yeah i don't know a good game i don't know if wayne tinkle plays being on national television a lot yeah you know he's a guy that you see you know three four times a year and you're like i love wayne tinkle but But if you see him every day, it's like, okay, I'm sick of saying Wayne Tinkle. Wayne Tinkle.
All the good jokes get used up. I'm in on Wayne Tinkle.
Wayne Francis Tinkle II. Oh, that's great.
He was like, yeah, let's just name him. Oh, he's from Milwaukee, so maybe he'll coach the Badgers in a couple years.
There you go. But Oregon State, they're a Big Ten team.
They are. 2014 to present, Wayne Tinkle has been at the helm of Oregon State.
I don't think they've made the tournament under Wayne Tinkle. Oh, they did in 2015.
But he has been very mediocre. And then in a two-, three-week span, his team gets hot, and Wayne Tinkle is going to be the next coach of the Los Angeles Lakers.
I was looking through these teams that advanced on to the Elite Eight, and with the exception of Oregon State and Michigan, these are some really good football schools. Yeah.
A little shot at me. They are.
Yeah, that was mean. Michigan's a basketball school now.
All right, so Villanova-Baylor. Baylor's just awesome, and they just jump on you.
Their defense, I don't want to get too nerdy here with our basketball analysis. You already said the Ken Palm era.
Yeah, the Ken Palm era. I mean, I do love Ken Palm.
Triassic period. Shout out Ken Palm.
He's the OG. But Baylor's defense is insane.
They are so good pressuring guards. And we saw it with Villanova.
Villanova actually was game for half. They were up seven and a half.
And everyone's like, Jay Wright, look what he's doing. Everyone counted out Nova, not so fast.
Baylor's really fucking good. And the mullet guy was doing alley-oops and shit, and it was cool.
Yeah, the two mullet guys were everywhere. So I'm caught in between between a take when it comes to baylor maybe you can help me talk my way through this but i i'm caught between that they didn't play their best and still won so they're really good and they're beatable because they went three for 19 from three and they were a little bit streaky their best players didn't play their their a games did they win ugly and now they move on or are they showing that that they are, in fact, beatable? This is a good segue to the Arkansas Oral Roberts game because I think what you have to say is we haven't had our A game yet.
Watch out. Because Arkansas is under that category.
Arkansas struggled with Oral Roberts and they win. It wasn't a buzzer beater, but it was like four seconds left, five seconds left.
I can't remember any of these games at this point. 3.1.
There you go. Thank you, Jake.
Oh, yeah. And Oral Roberts had that wide open shot.
Oral had the rim job. And Oral Roberts was, that's it.
Oh, there was one guy. There was guys who came up behind us at the bar, and they just kept on saying, you bet on Oral sex? You bet on Oral sex? And I was like, PFT? We need, well, these are his guys.
No, no, honestly, like, I'm not sure I could take another week of oral to be honest. No, I couldn't.
I don't think so. We fight personally.
Couldn't. No, I definitely couldn't.
And we've, we finally got the, uh, the actually oral Roberts is bad takes coming from some of the sports writers who like dug into the history of the school, found all the quotes from all the people there. And only sports writers could make oral not a feel-good story.
There we go. Is that it? They could suck the fun out of a blowjob.
All right, no, we're going to keep going. No, I'm done with oral.
I'm done with oral. Okay.
I'm absolutely done with it. We're done with oral.
It's white boy summer. Yeah, it is white boy summer.
Time to go to sleep. Yeah, I need to take a break.
I need to smoke a cigarette and have a sandwich you are a little sad though that no i'm not no i'm actually you're very excited about the the jokes that came along with it in the shirt i was i stopped being excited about the jokes i just wanted to push some merch i'm i'm yeah when you came out you're like yeah we should sell death taxes or i was like what i don't know if anyone would actually wear that uh- we could sell it. You don't have to wear it.
You just have to buy it.
Right, exactly.
But yes, to answer your question,
I think that the line that you use is
we haven't even played our A game yet,
which is Arkansas.
Arkansas can't wait for our A game.
It's the 2016, 17 Atlanta Falcons.
Yes.
They just haven't played their best game.
Just waiting for their best game to be played. Muss, if you're listening, and I know you are, thank you for the shout-out during the press conference.
That was very nice. We love you.
We're rooting for you. I have a tip from Muss.
Okay. This is another oral joke? No, no, no.
You know I'm like a film grinder. You know that.
Yes. I watch the tape.
I pick up on these little tendencies. Baylor, I've noticed, when they're shooting shots, when they're going for a layup, they tend to jump off their off foot and get the shot up a little bit quicker.
So if you're righty, you usually jump off your left foot once you're putting up a layup. They'll jump off that right foot before the left foot even gets down to try to get the shot up quicker.
Tell your guys to be on the lookout for that. They go a.
They do it every time. They go goofy foot and they try to get it up like a half second before you think they're going to.
Tell your guys to be on the lookout for that. Also, just tell your guys like if you want it more on the glass.
And also just play your A game. Just play your A game.
Now is the time for your A game. If Arkansas plays its A game, then they can win.
Yes. And then the last game, though, was on Saturday, Syracuse Houston, which was the ultimate Syracuse.
This is just Syracuse every time in the tournament. The zone gets you a few rounds, and then it's like, oh, yeah, Syracuse isn't that good.
People forget the zone can't play offense. That's what it comes down to.
The zone did its job. They actually played pretty well in the first half defensively.
And it was a situation where you're like, Syracuse can't possibly continue to shoot this poorly. Right.
Breaking news, they can get worse. Yeah.
I think they made 13 baskets. Buddy Boeheim was missing free throws.
Shout out Buddy Boeheim, who actually, this is going to shock everyone, but he knew Carmelo Anthony. Yeah, when he was little.
When he was a little little kid it was the wildest clip i've ever seen so it turns out that the the kid the son of the coach was around the program a lot it's nuts i can't believe it jake actually thought it was very cool and by the way i love having jake sitting directly behind me yeah so i'm not looking at him he's just like the voice of god there's two things that came to my mind mind. What was the exact quote? I don't know, but there's two things.
Wow, this is incredible. To my mind.
I think it was Wowsers. This is incredible.
Boeheim's kid knew Carmelo Anthony. Two things came to my mind when I saw that clip.
One, this is really cool. It was cool.
It was a cool clip. But it also was like, yeah, I would be more shocked if there wasn't that clip.
Big Cat and PFT are going to find a way to SHIT on it because it's the cool thing to do. What? Because everyone loves.
No, no, no. You know what I'm talking about.
No, no. Oh, yeah.
Classic Big Cat and PFT. I thought the clip was.
Everyone thought it was the most awesome thing. I'm going to find it.
You guys would have been like. Contrarian Cat and PFT contrarian.
Same thing. Ready? Hold on.
Tiger and Charlie Woods. Everyone's like, oh, this is awesome.
I love that. Okay, relax.
Great point. Oh, very cool.
Fuck, we're not wearing red. It's Sunday.
You know what I'm talking about. My underwear is red.
My underwear is red. Hold on, I gotta find.
Jake, I thought the clip was awesome. There you go.
Everyone hates on JJ Watt, Big Cat and PFT. This guy is cool.
In honor of Tiger Woods' penis, I'm wearing red underwear. Hold on.
Find me the exact quote, Jake, and I'll tell you why. Find me the quote that you used on Stool Benchmop.
I'll not use it. No, I want to find it.
Jake, I'll listen. I'll hear you out.
I want to hear from you exactly why it was cool. Tell me why it's cool.
Explain it to us like we're five. Explain it to us like we're buddies age, running around high-fiving Carmelo Anthony.
And now Syracuse is actually good again. He has the greatest fire in Syracuse's university history.
He delivered the university's national championship. Oh, wow.
That's a shot at Earl of Pearl. In basketball.
Wow. Soro Monroe.
What about Tim Wark? Donovan McNabb. Jerry McNamara.
Oh, this is the quote. Greg Paulish? This is the quote.
This is wild. Yeah.
That's what I'm talking about. It's a cool clip, but it's not wild.
What was wild about it? You're talking to the wrong person. I don't know.
This is wild. Mello and Buddy Beha.
Okay. You have the greatest player ever to wear that uniform.
And then you have the coach's son who, right after that championship, was running around. That's pretty unique.
That is pretty wild. It is.
See, I knew you guys would do this. I agree with you.
I knew it. I think it's wild.
I don't think it's cool. I think it's cool.
I don't think it's wild. So there you go.
You got both sides. I think it's a very cool clip.
I think it's wild. I think there's nothing wild about it.
No, dude, it's wild. It is wild and crazy, guys.
Jake, do you... You know what, Jake? Let's do your updated list then because we'll be good citizens that just love sports.
Okay. Sorry for...
Sorry. We're up to 30 moments right now.
Nice. Have a little...
Have a little, you know... Don't say it like that i'm about to read that okay here we go yeah um we have okay before we do that let's do a quick ad uh our friends at liquid iv liquid iv you're probably watching all these games this weekend you're probably feeling a little dehydrated well when you push your body hard or just feel run down it's extremely important to stay hydrated making hydration a priority help us feel healthier on a day-to-day basis with one stick of liquid iv in 16 ounces of water you get two to three times the amount of hydration as plain water liquid iv is super easy to use it comes in these little packets you put it in're feeling better right away.
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More than an orange? Yeah, more vitamin C than an orange and as much potassium as a banana. Damn, tough week for Syracuse.
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That's 25% off anything you order when you get better hydration today using promo code TAKE at liquidiv.com. Jake, let's do it.
What are we calling this? Is this One Shining Marshmint? Yes, that's exactly what we're calling it. One Shining Mo Marsh? One Shining Marshm mo marsh one shining marshment i like well one shining marshment the ball is tipped there you are you're running for your life all right you're a shooting star here's this clip a buddy bayheim with my little Anthony.
Isn't that wild?
Isn't that fucking wild? Okay, go on, Jake. Jake, you have to realize that PFT and I have not even combined do we have a full brain.
That's not true. You guys are very smart gentlemen.
No, right now. Thank you, Jake.
Thank you, Jake now we're in we're in we're in like fart joke territory that's the that's the style we're in jake you know better than to bring authenticity to us on a sunday night you got billy brain yeah we have billy brain you fucking we do this show for another hour we'll be we'll be in buds should we call billy no i have him for my who's back we can call him that billy did the nice thing of texting us right before we started to be like if you guys need anything let me know what we should have responded and been like yeah dude uh we need you to record it all you know what we'll do and edit it you know what we'll do we'll hit billy up later and we'll get his one shining moments yeah one shining broman yes We can build. Yes.
Yes. All right, Jake, let's do it.
Okay. We're going to have, I should have included this last week, but a camera crout wig mustache shot, just him doing some of this mustache.
Nice. And also Jake, by the way, you're wanting one shining moments have been such a hit that we had the kid from Ohio hit us up.
Yes. Yeah.
The shoes. The shoes, yes.
He said he just wanted to stay in the game and didn't want to come out, so that's why he did it. That's a football guy.
Yeah. Probably the dunk of the tournament, Villanova versus Baylor yesterday.
Slater? Yeah. Yeah.
That was like their last points of the game. Yeah.
I don't think they scored after that. We've got Ace misses, Miss Buzzer reader for Oral Roberts.
Yep, I think it's up there with one of the most, like Gordon Hayward missed territory. Ooh.
Like it should have gone in. In the finals? Jake.
No. Like, it's one of the most notable misses in NCAA tournament history.
Got it. Got it.
Yeah. He was awesome.
He's awesome. He's like 30 a game.
Yeah, he was great. We should have.
Steph Curry light should have Jake do the best misses in NCAA tournament history, too. That would be cool, too.
Yeah. Sam Decker, when he airballed the ball in the first half of the 2015 finals, I thought he had a concussion.
I convinced myself he had a concussion. Creighton came out of the gate against Gonzaga just diving for every single ball.
Yeah. Leave us some scrapes.
Yeah. So we've got a nice...
Creighton's fucking good, man. Yeah.
Lordburn Award. We're going to get to them.
They're good. Drew Timmy.
We should just put AOC in it just for, you know, just for good looks. Yeah, that's true.
Drew Timmy. We're reaching across the line.
How about we do a celebrity mashup face of AOC and AOC? I like that. Wait, what? The two AOCs.
Who's the other one? Alex O'Connell is the other one. The first one's Alex O'Connell on Duke.
And the second one's Alex O'Connell on Creighton. Yeah, vote blue no matter who.
All right. Drew Timmy, he was wide open for a dunk and kind of hesitated, but he still dunked.
Then he did a handlebar mustache celebration. Yeah, I thought that was a little excessive.
So I liked it once.
Don't run it up.
I don't like it both times.
It's fun if you do it after a big dunk, but after every dunk, it's like, okay, we get it.
You have two first names and a mustache.
Right.
Yeah.
Next, we have Jace Howard, son of Juwanan scoring in garbage time for michigan that was great he did a big fist pump john yep on the sideline love to see that uh javon do you think there's do you think there's any videos of him with like chris weber yeah yeah yeah that'd be wild jalen rose well there's no championship to celebrate after that, right? Yeah, that's right. Take the banners down.
Time out. Yeah.
Well, they didn't win at banner, yeah. Right, exactly.
But if they did, we would have took them down. Just want to let that Michigan remember that.
So now they're at negative one net banners. So the next one they win doesn't go up either.
Yeah, it doesn't go up. Okay.
Mark Turgeon was right. We have Javon Quinterly, a very cool behind-the-head pass for Alabama.
That was awesome. That might have been the best pass that I've ever seen in my life.
Because you see, once in a blue moon, you see the fake behind-the-back pass, which is something that I think everybody out there has tried to do in pickup. Yep.
Because we see it happen. We're like, yeah, I'll try to fake this.
But eventually, you just throw it off your ass nine times out carry the ball yeah but he did a fake behind the back brought it forward and then a real behind the neck it was right that was yeah bam i had a couple harlem globe charters they had a back door cut that won't make the cut but i liked it um we have alex reese that's probably the shot of the tournament for alabama to tie it yeah is that though i mean it's the shot of the shot of the tournament. Okay.
And they lost. All right.
I think that the... You think shot of the tournament? The Oral Roberts shot that didn't go in, I think, was a more impactful shot.
What about Hep Cronin getting the vaccination? That was a pretty big shot. You got to see Mick Cronin make a run.
Yeah. I'd say that's number one, Jake.
Hep Cronin, yes. They showed a lot in that first four game.
And then Alex Reese was crying, tears running down his face. They kind of did him dirty.
They're just kids. Yeah, they're just kids.
Yeah. And then I have one.
I fucking hate them when they miss their free throws, but they're just kids. Like, I want to fucking, they fucking drive me nuts.
You know what? We've seen more crying kids this year than we have in years in the past, and I think it's because there's nobody in the stands. So the horny cameraman whose job it is to just find a hot chick that they can cut away to and be like, look, here's an attractive woman at a sporting event.
That guy just has eagle eyes for the most red-eyed crying kids. Yep.
That's a good point. And then I have one more.
But it's going to. No, it's bad.
It, it's very sad. Oh, so we can cut this.
Oh, no. The Grand Canyon.
So Grand Canyon started Oscar Freyer, unfortunately passed away. Bummer city, dude.
Damn. In a car accident, which was awful.
He was a starter for Grand Canyon. That was really sad.
Very sad. They should give him a tribute and put him in.
I think they will. I think you're right.
That's a good call, and that's why we have one shining Marshman, because these are things that we would not think of. No, I would not have thought of it.
And he's a good player, too. It's very sad.
He deserves to get it. Great Canyon had a great year.
Yeah. The winners of the WAC, he deserves to be in it.
All right, so that's a good list. We're at 31 so far.
31. Are you going to get to 64?
Probably not.
There's not enough games left.
You know what we need to do?
We need to go through the tape of one shining moment compared to what Jake thought.
What do you think his percentage is going to be?
I think it's going to be pretty high.
I think it's going to be like 65%.
Yeah, I think it's going to be pretty high.
I'll take that.
We got to get to 64.
We don't acknowledge play-in teams.
All right.
We'll get to 64, though. We have to do that.
Alright. Sunday's games.
Let's see. So Gonzaga's incredible.
This is now starting to feel like, and I guess we'll find out on Tuesday night when they play who? Winter of this. Oh, Winter of this.
Oregon and USC. So most likely USC, almost definitely USC.
So Gonzaga's starting to feel like the 2018 Nova team that beat everyone by double digits and just fucking blitzed everyone. And we were at that championship game.
They were an absolute wagon. It's starting to feel like that.
Because you thought like, oh, Creighton, they They're, you know, Big East. They could maybe hang with them.
They didn't hang with them at all. Yeah, it was a shit pumping and Gonzaga's probably not going to lose.
I've just accepted the fact that Gonzaga's probably going to win this NCAA championship. And they better because if they don't, we won't acknowledge them even making it to the Final Four.
Absolutely not. They have to win for us to acknowledge them as a pro.
And then that's their first Final Four. Yeah.
yeah uh you think they're gonna bring adam morrison out for something hopefully like when they bring the team back yeah hopefully i would like to see that absolutely because drew timmy he does the radio call i don't know if he's been doing this tournament but he does normally during the regular season do the radio yeah i wonder how adam morrison feels about drew timmy's mustache if he's like okay with it stolen valor and valor because like a slight stolen it is a light stolen valor how Adam Morrison feels about Drew Timmy's mustache. If he's like okay with it.
Stolen valor. Stolen valor.
A slight stolen valor. It is a slight stolen valor to Adam Morrison.
But it's a much better mustache than Adam had. I agree.
Adam, he kind of like embraced the fact that he couldn't grow facial hair. I don't know who else could fall under that category.
Yeah. But yeah, I do miss Gonzaga as an underdog though.
Yeah. It was always nice when they'd be like an eight or a nine seed? And you'd be like, I have them winning two games.
And everybody would be like, you are a genius. Yeah, right.
Isn't it crazy to think like, because obviously we're not of the age where we can say, oh, yeah, like we saw. I mean, I remember when UConn won their first national title.
That would be probably the most like it in terms of a team that went from nothing to, shit they're like here to stay gonzaga has done that in the last 20 years yeah butler butler kind of fallen off a little bit gonzaga was one school that if you were in a high school bracket contest uh and you saw gonzaga and you had them winning two games everybody think that you were a sports expert right it was like them and xavier yep and you like X-Men. X-Men going to do it again this year.
And they'd always win two games. Mid-major.
The battle of the mid-majors. Creighton versus Gonzaga.
All right. Michigan.
That was an impressive, impressive win for Michigan. A lot of people were picking Florida State.
It felt like it was close to a pick-em. And they were in in control that entire game they were so florida state was the longest team in the country did you know that
florida state is always the longest florida state is the same team every single year and that they're
good not great and when they have to get into a game where they have to hit open shots they never
do yeah and they play great defense and they rebound the fuck out of the ball and they'll
dunk in your face and then it's like oh fuck they need to actually start shots they never do. Yeah.
And they play great defense, and they rebound the fuck out of the ball, and they'll dunk in your face. And then it's like, oh, fuck, they need to actually start hitting some open shots.
Whoops, they don't. That was fun for Leonard Hamilton, who, shout out him, he was coaching with a walking boot, hurt himself getting off the bus.
He should have gone. I actually think they would have won if he had gone with the little scooter.
The knee scooter. The Georgia State.
Was it Georgia State or Georgia Southern, Jake? Georgia State. R.J.
Hunter. R.J.
Hunter. And then Ron Hunter was the dot.
Yes. Coaches always win.
He fell out of it. He fell out of it.
15 first round against Baylor in Jacksonville. Coaches always win with the knee scooter.
But yeah, Florida State, you're right. Like, they can't.
They don't have anybody that even has a good-looking jump shot. I like that, though.
It's all weird. It's like, yeah, I do, too.
It's's like, it's the final form of what if they made the entire team out of Tayshaun Prince? Right. It's great when teams just stay consistent all the time.
Like we've talked about it with college football. The fact that like Oregon doesn't score 70 a game anymore.
That fucks my head up for years and years and years i just love that i can i can always know exactly what to get out of uh florida state this game was so weird especially in the first half just with it there were probably like three or four runs of play where uh there would be like a shot that bounced off the side of the backboard a steal before you got to half court another quick turnover and then a missed dunk all within 30 seconds of each other. Yes.
So Michigan's looking – I mean, I think they were probably – what's crazy is going into this tournament, they were the one seed that people were most down on. Yeah.
Not us. Not us.
I had them ranked – well, I had Illinois ranked number one the last two weeks of the regular season, but I did have Michigan ranked number one three weeks before the end of the regular season. But yeah, even without Isaiah Livers, they're looking great.
Who do they have next, Jake? The bracket is a total... If you put a gun to my head and I had to tell you what the matchups are, I don't think I'd be able to do it.
I think you'd have to shoot me. Top left, Gonzaga USC.
Okay. Bottom left, Michigan UCLA.
UCLA. Oh, wow, you're writing off the Ducks? Or, I mean, you literally just said probably.
I don't remember saying that. Top right, Baylor, Arkansas.
Bottom right, Oregon State versus Houston. Wait, start again, start again.
It would be very funny if Michigan beat, like, every recent national championship football team on their way to a national championship in basketball?
Yeah.
Too bad Alabama isn't going to be there.
Top left, Gonzaga versus either USC or Oregon,
who's on an 11-0 run and down nine with three minutes left.
Holy shit.
Bottom left, Michigan-UCLA.
Top right, Baylor-Arkansas.
Bottom right, Oregon State-Houston.
It sounded like you projected USC to win.
It sounded like our news desk is projecting that. We've called it.
We've called the race. We've called it.
USC is officially in the Elite Eight. Stop the steal.
Here comes a three for them. I just looked at the live line.
Three. Nothing better than looking at the live line and being like, here comes a three.
No, I really do. Whoa.
How did you know that? I like Michigan. This game against Florida State was surprisingly dominant.
I thought it was going to be a lot closer than it was. And I like Hunter Dickinson.
I'm saying his name again. No, he's awesome.
He is awesome. He felt as much length as Florida State had or has, Hunter Dickinson felt like he was taller than everyone by a significant margin.
Right, so I think Juwan Howard said after the game that we owe a lot to just having Hunter Dickinson's body on our team because our guys have played against a lot of long guys this year in practice. Yeah.
He's a scout team, Florida State. Yeah.
Sometimes in the tournament, like Arkansas was a good example of it. If I were coaching Arkansas, I would just call a timeout and be like, be like hey guys you're all way taller than them and faster and stronger so just be taller yes sometimes just stand tall on a basketball court will get you a win because i guarantee you the shorter guys out there are thinking that the entire time they're like they're like these guys everyone's taller than me this sucks all my shots are gonna get blocked yes yeah it's it's terrifying um and
then the game of the tournament uh so far well that wasn't the game of the tournament but it was probably or roberts uh ohio state one of the best games of the tournament ucla alabama now we had nate oats on the show on friday yes you could that was 10 years ago we had nate oats on the show on Friday, so we're not
going to bash his coaching philosophy.
But if we were
to do that, I would ask maybe the lack of mid-range jump shots in practice and making it one point and saying everyone has to only shoot fours or twos had something to do with them going 11 for 25 from the free throw line in a very important situation but i'm not going to say no no that's that's not what i so i had that written down actually as something to avoid talking about um and especially the fact that he makes them worth one point as somewhat of a prophecy towards exactly how much a free throw is worth. Seems like it like it was a little on the nose.
The lost start of the mid-range jumper. We can finally talk about that again.
But now to spin it back towards Coach Oates, they did hit a four-pointer at the end of the game to take it to overtime. I think maybe that's probably why Alabama got run out of the gym in overtime because they hit that shot and they're like, game over.
We just hit a four-pointer. Turns out those aren't real.
They were 11 for 25 from the free throw line. It's the worst free throw performance in the NCAA tournament since Kansas went 12 for 30 in the 2003 National Championship game where Buddy Boeheim was in attendance.
Oh, running around. Buddy Boeheim was there? He was there.
He was at that game. Yeah.
Was Jimmy Boeheim there? Little Jimmy? No, just Buddy. Okay.
Jimmy Boeheim is like Drew Brees' daughter. Oh, yeah, Buddy.
Fuck. Yo, shout out Jimmy Boeheim.
Yeah, Jimmy. Big fan.
Yep. Love you, dude.
Shout out Cornell. Big red.
That's what they are, right? Yep. Big red.
Yeah, sure. Ithaca is gorgeous.
That's what they say.
I've seen the shirts.
It's at least a top eight Ivy.
Oh, for sure.
Yeah, it's the Ivy League of mid-state New York.
Yeah, it's top eight Ivy for sure.
How many Ivys are there?
Are there eight?
I have no idea.
I think.
Are there eight, Jake? Well, I always include UVA and Duke in the Ivy Leagues.
And Michigan.
Yeah, exactly. These are Ivy League schools.
And Stanford, eight. Okay, so top eight.
I was right. Shout out Jimmy Behan.
Chico State. Either way, the Alabama, like, yeah, that was bad.
Free throws, very bad. But we should also acknowledge the fact that Mick Cronin is a fucking awesome coach.
I'm going to say Mick Cronin is a G. And you know what? He is smooth.
I'm not talking about his personality. I'm not talking about his coaching style.
I'm talking about his body. He is the smoothest coach in the history of college basketball.
He shaves his head. It's got to be at least twice a day.
And it's so shiny. It blinds the opposing coach and the referees probably.
And we also had, we have to talk about Shortsgate at the end of the game. The replay that they went to when the ball kareemed off.
Is it kareemed? Kareemed. Kareemed.
Kareemed. It kareemed.
After Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. Off the shorts of the Alabama player.
And I didn't know that the shorts were considered part of the body. Yeah.
I thought that the shorts were just like's land shout out everyone who's wearing tight shorts exactly would have been better there charles barkley said like if it was me it wouldn't have hit the shorts and then everybody was like why charles he's like because i'm too fat and the shorts would have been tighter and then they were like well it just would have hit off your thigh and he's like yeah i guess that's a good point yeah i'm with charles on the original. Animatomical analysis.
But yeah, that was a crazy play. The whole game was crazy.
The Pac-12 is incredible. I'm so happy that Larry Scott has to sit in Indianapolis right now and try to take credit for the Pac-12 being good, even though he is no longer going to be the commissioner after I I think, this season.
I think it's like as soon as the spring sports are done, he's gone. So he doesn't get to reap any of the benefits because he's done everything wrong for the Pac-12.
So shout out all the Pac-12 people who listen to this show. Pretty much just Spencer Hawes.
Shout out. It's nice to see the Pac-12 have a moment.
Conference of champions. But is this not unlike Peyton Manning going out on top of the Super Bowl when he was off of his A-game? No.
Like Larry Scott retires and he can spin it into I've finally accomplished my main goal which is bringing the Pac-12 back to relevance. No.
It's a good hand. I saw an article where he was doing like a press conference and everyone was like dude shut up.
You suck. You suck and stop trying to take credit for this.
So it's almost better that he has to sit there and be like, because really, it's not about this. It's about next season being like, hey, the Pac-12 was great.
Look at what happened last tournament. He doesn't get to do that.
But what if the Pac-12 starts sucking again next year, and then he's like, you miss me yet? Yeah, right. That's true.
He probably will do that. Like, they lost the Magic.
Also, big shout out to Tiger Campbell. Love your name.
Yep. Love your hair.
Coolest hair in the tournament, I think. Yep.
Facts. That's just it.
That's all I had about Tiger Campbell. And then USC is about to...
The Mobley brothers, the Mobley twins, are about to take USC to the Elite Eight. So that will be...
As far as reported by Jake. As far as reported by Jake.
No, I think it's official. 76.
Oh, don't get all over the place. official 76 76 64 I think this one is done but yeah the Mobley twins are there and again I love any school that gets two great recruits and also puts their dad or a coach on staff as well I love that I love that college basketball because NCAA sucks, and I think that everyone should get to wet their beak.
Absolutely. Fuck that.
Wet it up. I mean, what's his name? LeVar Ball.
Yeah. This is like everything he had dreamed about.
Yes. Yes.
Oh, do you think that it was actually LiAngelo? LiAngelo. No, LiAngelo, who started UCLA's resurgence because of the China incident.
Yes, I think so. I think you could probably connect the dots.
Yes, I'll work on that. Okay, so anything else from the tournament? Arkansas playing tonight.
Oregon State playing tonight. I think that's who we're rooting for.
I think we can speak for everyone. Halftimes are too long.
Must bust, guys. You didn't mention the Cougars.
Oh, yeah, whatever. Houston.
Okay. Kelvin Sampson.
Good job. You did the shocker hand sign.
The problem is they beat Syracuse so soundly, and they are a very good team, but it was such an unappealing game because it was just bricks, bricks, bricks that I don't know.
And it was late.
I don't know.
The NCAA's scheduling of these games,
not to sound like an old man, but fuck, man. Why did I have to wait till 2.30 to watch a game
and then I have to stay up till midnight to finish?
It was tough.
Halftime of the second game, the Florida State-Michigan game,
I was like, I feel like I've lived an entire day already. Right.
But that's also probably because i woke up and worked out this morning so i was tired right that probably had a lot to do with it but you came close i i packed my workout clothes i put my workout clothes on i contacted the fitness center which was closed and then i went back to my try your key card no it's closed it's open it's closed yeah i mean it's open last time we're here i used it i went on the website and said the fitness center was closed for us it's open it said that it was closed it's open it seems like if you wanted to go you would just gone well it said on the website that it was closed so i think i used it last time you guys are missing the important part which is i put on my workout clothes that's a huge step huge step yeah huge step. Huge step.
Huge step. But yeah, the scheduling of these games was stupid.
Think of the kids. Think of all the kids that want to watch these games.
Thursday, Sunday, please. There you go, Jake.
Jake knows what I'm talking about. A young Jake Marsh is sitting somewhere right now in America and is like, Daddy, I can't stay up.
And Dad's like, take another fucking Adderall. We're watching the fucking night game, kid.
And night game kid and then that kid's gonna be all well no because the games are a little earlier that's my point you grew up to be a good fine young standing child and then now we're gonna have a whole generation of methed out Jake Marshes yeah it's very sad actually think about that and that's Mexican meth that's old fat. That's not the Montana meth that Jake was on.
They'll just have such a jaded view of life that they won't even think Buddy Boeheim and Carmelo Anthony is wild. It's sad.
Jake, what was the latest you were allowed to stay up to watch sports? Whenever I wanted. Hell yeah, bad boy.
I love it. My parents were very great with that.
I do love having Jake around for the tournament has been so much fun because he is an encyclopedia of tournament facts. It's fun, but he does get negative.
Like I gave Jake, we did another team roll yesterday where Jake and I bet on the same game. And if we won, I was going to give half the earnings to him.
And Jake just like immediately, like five minutes of the game, he texts me, I'm sorry for his pick. Well, Jake, everyone go listen to Stool Benchmob as well.
Jake's college basketball podcast. Thank you.
Buddy Boeheim was on the show. We just had Buddy on.
Great interview. On Friday, right? Or Thursday.
So one little nugget from their show, Buddy Boeheim actually said that there's still things that he's learning about the zone to this very day. That's crazy.
Which is, it is wild because he probably knows more about the zone than any player that's ever played at Syracuse while he was, because he grew up in the zone. Right.
His entire life was the zone. He was touching Carmelo Anthony when he was four years old.
Yes. Yeah.
His zone runs through his blood. Yeah.
I don't know how we went from a compliment to whatever. Thank you.
I love you, Jake. Love you guys, too.
Yeah. This has been a fun tournament.
And it's not over yet. Nope.
We still have memories to be made. Yep.
That's true. No, that's like, I know that sounds sappy, but like, I'm personally going to make at least one more memory.
Oh, for sure. Multiple memories.
Maybe more than that. I just thought of a really good segue if we're going to get into who's back yeah hey hank hank speaking of uh man to man and blood you get you want to talk about a little nas x before we do that a word from our friends a cash app go download the cash app right now who's back of the week brought to you by cashApp, the stock market investing through CashApp, buy and sell Bitcoin on the CashApp.
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Okay, Hank, who's back of the week?
Am I who's back?
I'm not going to steal your guys'.
So I'm a nice guy.
Indiana basketball.
Oh.
It's been a college basketball-centric podcast so far.
But, you know, Mark Tidius, I'm sure, is rejoicing in the streets. They hired Mike Woodson, their first choice, their first choice.
I think he's an assistant on the Knicks now. He's never coached college basketball in his life, but he isn't.
You know, he's the future for Indiana. That doesn't feel like it's going to work.
What do you mean? Yeah, a guy who has never coached college basketball. Yeah, but there yeah yeah that does mean like the 70s yeah uh so i was texting with titus and uh he's in denial full-blown denial because he was like i think his his response was oh well we didn't get brad stevens because he's in the middle of a playoff race and now we have mike woodson Indiana's so down.
Well, they also didn't get Steve Alford, who actually took himself out of the running preemptively, which is a power move. They didn't get Holtzman from the Ohio State University.
They didn't get Dan Dockage, who I'm sure was tossed around. Yeah.
They didn't get Brad Stevens. They didn't get Thad Mata.
They didn't get Shaka Smart. What happened with Thad Mata?
Because he said that... His face got too red.
He was interested in it, but then he said
he had to remove himself
for health considerations. Red face.
Just red face. Red facism.
Just get Bobby Knight
back there. They definitely asked Porter
Moses.
They asked Porter
Moses.
They asked Porter
Moses.
Because it was very clear like they got bounced they probably kept him in Indianapolis asked him and he was like no thanks and like all right well who else is there anyone out there who went to Indiana Isaiah Thomas turned it down and then they asked Mike Woodson so listen anytime you can get your hands on a coach with a track record of success at franchises like the Hawks, the Knicks, and the Clippers, you've got to take that shot. He did actually get them to their best seasons, the Hawks and the Knicks, in the last 20 years.
But yeah, this feels very weird for Indiana. I mean, there's a a flow chart that's in every athletic director's office that shows who you want to get.
Like there's the 1A hire, the pie-in-the-sky guy. Brad Stevens.
Brad Stevens was that guy. Then there are very successful coaches that have had recent success in your geographic area.
Dockage. Dockage.
Then there's like a big school guy like Ashaka Smart who who's looking for his next and then after that it's like uh the guy that grew up next to the college right that has the college in their blood yeah i i uh it's weird i mean i guess we'll see who knows who knows what will happen um yeah i don't i don't really know who knows yeah who knows indiana there you go Indiana just walk around and just say to each other, who knows? Maybe he'll be good. God, what if that would suck for Indiana fans if Gonzaga went undefeated, huh? Yeah, that would suck.
Tough week. Double blow.
Bobby Knight should just come back. That's what I just said.
Yeah, they should bring him back and just let him run wild. No rules, Bobby White.
White boy summer.
Yes, white boy summer.
The Steve Alford move, though, I do love that.
I think I want to do that with the Wisconsin AD position,
but if they asked me, I'd take it.
What do you mean?
Like Steve Alford basically said,
I don't want to be the Indiana head coach before they even offered it to him. Okay.
So I think that's a power move that people should do more often. Pulling themselves out of consideration for a big-time job, even though no one was considering them.
Yeah, no, that's good. But if Wisconsin did offer me the AD position, I would take it, so I'm not going to pull my name out of that.
That's like everybody always saying, I have preemptively told Rihanna that I will not marry her. Correct, correct.
So shout-out to Steve Alford. All right, PFT year.
Who's back? Yeah. So I was going to do for my who's back of the week.
White boy summer. Yeah.
White boys are back. Chet Hayes, the final boss of fuck boys, as I like to call him.
And by the way, Chet Hayes and Colin Hanks, like as the two children of Tom Hanks, you knew that like when Tom Hanks had Chet, he was like, this one's be my fuck up like coming out i'm going to name this one chet i kind of like chet listen you're preaching to the choir here because if you don't take chet hayes seriously you just kind of enjoy him he is a legitimately hilarious person do you know what he is he's a disruptor he's an independent thinker he is he marches to the beat of his own drum they said mozart was insane Big Cat Exactly, Steve Jobs was laughed at What did he do this time? He got fired from Apple So, well, Chet Hayes went on Instagram and said that he proclaimed it to be White Boy Summer Yeah But the genius part of Chet Hanks, Chet Hayes, whatever you want to call him All White Boys? Please say Chet Hayes, don't say Chet Hanks The genius part of him was like, you know what would really make this White Boy Summer pronunciation pop? Is if I did it in a Jamaican Patois accent at the start of it. But Hank, maybe you can fill in the gaps here of what White Boy Summer totally entails.
Because honestly, it sounds a lot to me like my idea for Six Pack Summer. Well, he said it's White Boy Summer, but then he clarified.
He's like, not MAGA, Trump, redneck white boys. I'm talking
Jack Harlow,
John B. Who is like
Jack, oh, John B.
Adam Banks. Yeah, Jack Harlow
is? I would die for him. Jack Harlow's a
rapper. Got it, knew that.
I knew
that. White Boy Summer guy.
Was popping.
So do you think we?
John B, no, so. I don't think we're
part of White Boy Summer then. No, we are.
It sounds like we get. Are you...
Yeah, but it's... You don't have to be white, though, for White Boy Summer, right? But you just name two, like, cool, like, well-known...
Like, John B., good-looking white boy. Jack Harlow.
Jack Harlow. Looks like me.
Oh, so you're part of White Boy Summer. For sure.
Okay. And John B.
John B., I guess there's an R&B singer named John B. But I am 100% going with just John B.
Yeah, he was talking about Outer Banks for sure.
Yeah.
So finally a summer for us.
Yeah.
It's like White History Month except it's all about the now.
Yeah.
It's all about living in the moment right now.
And guess what?
Summer's starting tomorrow.
Yeah.
There we go.
In my mind.
Did you see the follow-up?
There's more stipulations.
Oh, yeah.
I saw that he said we're not wearing flannel. Okay.
Or salmon shirts. I'm out.
I got a closet filled with salmon-colored shirts right now. No, I'm out.
And Sperry's. No, I'm way out.
I'm still in. I can get rid of it.
I'm out. I'm planning on wearing mostly tank tops.
I'll wait for my summer. Mostly tank tops.
Someday. The summer of the cat.
Someday I'll have the summer, yeah, just hanging out. All right, wait.
So wait, who's your? So that was my who's back. I have another who's back just real quick.
The U.S. men's national team, the soccer team, is back.
Didn't qualify for the Olympics. This is like, I don't know, the fourth time in the year.
Yeah, they do. You wouldn't know because the U.S.
hasn't played in it since forever also who cares that's the olympics big spin zone is uh it's for like the under 23 teams so all of our good players on the u.s men's national team are under 23 they don't play on the u23 team they play on the legit team so also the squad that is going to win the world in my opinion he's also said no calling girls smoke shows so we we're all the way out. This is not for us.
Okay, thank you. We declined.
What about smokes? Yeah, we declined. I guess.
You can abbreviate it. Time to evolve.
Pikachu to Raichu. I'm of the mindset that if there's a better tournament or better championship, then the team championship in the Olympics doesn't count unless it's basketball because we kick the shit out of everyone.
Okay. Yeah.
That's the only one that actually counts. Yeah.
Hockey, who cares? Stanley Cup's better. Olympics for soccer does not really, it's not even in my top 15 list for best summer Olympic sports.
Yeah. I said it because we don't win it anymore, Hank.
That's why. You see how I've made, it's kind of like white boy summer.
But I'm just making the rules so that we win. For the women's team, that is, you know what? Yeah, no, that's the best.
That is America's soccer team. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They are the U.S. national team.
All right. Jake, you got a who's back? Yeah, baseball's back.
So I feel like when spring training starts, we're like, yeah, spring training starts. Then the tournament rolls around and you stop paying attention to spring training and it just creeps up on you.
And here we are. Yeah gonna have dallas braden on the show on wednesday to do some baseball i'm very excited about baseball season because baseball i think was the sport that i think suffered the most not having fans in attendance it didn't feel real with nobody in the stands i there's something about going to like a baseball game in the middle of the day yeah we should be at work in the summertime that i'm gonna go to a lot of baseball games this year i'm telling you right now i'm gonna go to i missed i missed everything last year white boys don't have a big cat i'm gonna support you but this sounds eerily similar to when we had uh john rostein on in november and you're like i'm gonna get into college basketball all season i did all season starting in february i got you're like, I'm going to get into college basketball all season.
I did. All season.
Starting in February
I got in.
I like the enthusiasm. I'm in.
Let's do it. Let's go to some ball games.
Bring our mitts. Yeah.
We'll fucking hang out.
I'm going to keep score. No, I'm not doing that.
Alright, my who's back is
the Navy Seals.
The Navy Seals are back because Billy
drunkenly tweeted
on Thursday night? Friday night? I don't even know. I would trade it all to be a Navy Seal.
Now, we'll talk to Billy maybe on Wednesday or Tuesday's show about this. But it is, PFT and I were talking when we landed in Detroit.
It is so funny for so many different reasons. The number one being, what does Billy have to trade? He has to trade he's he's an intern who's still in college yeah in billy's head he is patrick tillman and he just got a new contract and he's like you know what i'm giving i'm giving it up i don't know this i want this guys i'm trading it all i want to know what happened i want to know what happened to bill on Friday night.
Like, what he was watching. He was either watching, either, like, he got trapped in a YouTube algorithm and saw, like, a sweet-ass interview with Jocko Wilnick, or he was watching Lone Survivor, or...
Zero Dark Thirty. There's a good possibility Billy just read a couple articles about the boat that stuck.
Lone Survivor, though, it seems like. And he's like, I'd love to be in the Navy and then go over there and get the boat.
Or I personally, with my fists that are registered, I would just punch the boat. David Goggins or whatever.
Yeah. You know that guy? Something happened in Billy's brain where he's...
And then the other part is that rule number one of being a Navy SEAL is punctuality. And Billy fails at that all the time.
It's that and also, the bottom line is he wants to do cool stuff. He wants to play Call of Duty in real life.
Billy's trying to figure out a way to have his whole life just be him doing stuff that he can talk about later and be like, that was badass. Yeah.
I would love to have him list what he would trade. What does he have? Now, he's obviously going full-time job once he graduates but he doesn't have a full-time job right now but what's he gonna do with his dog he's got far too many animals that depend on him for survival the uh what's the name of the the belt that he won against jose he'd have to trade that in yeah the jose canseco socks belt you'd have to fuck it would We would have to vacate the title.
Well, Billy probably just wants a job where he actually does have to register his hands as deadly weapons. No, dude, they're already registered.
It goes back to Nick Cage. Wasn't Nick Cage a Navy SEAL? Dude, they're registered.
Don't worry. I'm pretty sure in Con Air, he was either a Navy SEAL or like an Army Ranger.
Green Beret, maybe. Oh, man.
So fucking funny. We do have to make Billy do the test, though.
Yes. Yes.
I mean, I want to just see him hold his breath underwater for as long as possible. Yeah.
Yeah. Like, really, like, way too long.
All of them. All the tests will be great content.
Like, for forever. Yes.
He has to swim across the East River. Yeah.
I mean, Navy SEAL would do it, right? Easily. Also, Lil Nas X.
Is that real or fake? The shoes? No, it's real. So there's a guy that customizes shoes, a company that customizes shoes, and they do a lot of work with Nikes.
Bubba can probably explain this way better than I can because I'm old, but he's got a shoe coming out from this guy that's got satanic imagery on it. It's got blood in in the soles like a drop of blood is mixed in with the ink that goes into the soles which is very on the nose for nike shoes in like people are upset about blood being mixed in with the nike shoes like nike the sweatshops it is nike yes there's blood there's a drop of blood in every shoe.
Right. So why are people mad? So people got mad because...
I can imagine someone getting really mad wearing Air Maxes and being like, this is fucking bullshit. People, yeah, people got mad because they thought that Nike was putting the shoes out.
But it's like, Big Cat, if you were to buy a truck and then put devil horns on the side of it, which would be badass. Right.
And then people, they get pissed off at Chevy. But it's like, no, the Silverado's the best truck ever made.
Yeah, and nobody would ever do that to a Chevy Silverado. Right.
It's the grittiest truck on the planet. Correct.
Hardworking, dependable, all those things. And it's $100 off when you use promo code PARDONMYTAKE.
And a free tank, yes. And a cup of coffee.
We threw that in just now. Yeah, but people got big mad at Lil Nas X.
We also did a music video where he got fucked by the devil, which people weren't happy about. That's kind of cool.
Yeah, I mean, if you're going to get upset about musicians using satanic imagery, you have to throw out the entire ACDC catalog. Yeah, whatever happened to being an artist? It's also called Calm We By Your Name, which was ambitious given all the army hammer.
I like all this stuff. Yeah, what? Let an artist so lil nas x it turns out is just really good at manipulating the internet and and trolling people and so meme god yeah the amount of free publicity he got out of people being mad about his shoes sold like his shoes are going to be sold for five thousand dollars a pair well he also did the other smart thing today where he posted a video after the backlash i was like i'm sorry for the devil shoes and when you click the video he like says i'm sorry and then just his music video starts playing beautiful he's like this is what i'm sorry for and then it's just okay uh yeah team little last x um all right should we do we should talk a little mba and nfl uh you want to tell us a little bit about blooming onions or sorry yeah blooming onions yeah and zip recruiter i always want to talk about blooming onions you know that and zip recruiter outback steakhouse no rules just right should i do the entire accent yeah and look for the ad read definitely not definitely not when the game is on you don't want to leave the couch i'm not going to do that but you do want to eat delicious food.
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Once a year, at part of my take, we get Outback delivered for our meal that we have, either before or right after a show. It's the best night of the year.
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I was talking to Outback fanatic Jeff D. Lowe last week.
He was so excited that we talked about him
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He started quizzing me about the names
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they use different breading on the wings now. So they're even better than theyaburra wings if you haven't had them for a while they use different breading on the wings now so they're even better than they used to be if you haven't had them in a couple years go back get the wings they're delicious when it's game time you're in the zone you know who else gets it outback they know that you want to eat delicious food without missing a second of the game so you can order your favorite outback apps right to your door so you can dunk while your whole team does.
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slash PMT. Okay, so the NBA is ruined.
RIP NBA. Damn, I can't believe this.
I missed the NBA back when it was good in 2016, 2017, 2013, 2014, before there were all these super teams. So LaMarcus Aldridge signing with the Nets had everyone upset.
I still don't understand why. And everyone does the tweet where it's like, look how many all-stars the Nets have, all-star appearances, between Blake, Kyrie, James Harden, KD, and now LaMarcus Aldridge.
I mean, Andy Dalton was an all-star at some point. Everyone who's upset about this is doing my Kevin White bit, being like, Kevin White's a top-ten pick.
Eventually, you get old, and LaMarcus Aldridge, great career. He's not LaMarcus Aldridge of five, ten years ago.
No, he still can't jump. Actually, there's one game a year where LaMarcus Aldridge remembers how to jump, and then you're like, holy shit, he's still got it.
I joke that when he signed with the Nets, everybody was wondering, what is the next move that the Nets are going to make? Because I think that there are probably a lot of players out there that want to join the Nets now just to get that right. I want to join the Nets.
I would love to join the Nets too. I said it's probably going to be somebody like Al Horford.
He would be like the epitome of an old guy that would go to a team like that. And then, like, two minutes later, it was like Al Horford does not expect to play for the rest of the season for the Thunder, and he's trying to get a trade out of there.
I'm pre-calling it. No, but it said that he was sticking around and playing pickup with his teammates.
Oh, I'm withdrawing my pre-call in that case. I also think the Nets, do they even have? I don't think they can.
They've got one more spot, yeah. That's for J.J.
Redick and J.J. Redick only.
Well, no, he got traded to the Mavericks. No, I know.
I know. The trade deadline.
Yeah, no, I know. I don't know how any of that stuff works.
Still do buyouts and shit. Spencer Hawes.
Yeah, boom. Second Spencer Hawes.
Bring him out. Boom.
Deli. Deli on the Nets would really, he'd be the straw that serves a drink.
And then Andre Drummond signed with the Lakers. So then the Lakers, here's my, every time this happens and everyone's like, I'm done watching the NBA, I'm not done watching the NBA because it's sports,
and I'm going to watch every fucking sport that's on,
especially in the playoffs.
Absolutely.
Like, who cares?
I know.
Oh, well, it's inevitable.
You know what?
I would love to see the amount of people that tweet,
why would you watch the NBA?
We already know who's going to win it all,
who are also diehard college football fans.
Yeah. Like, dude, there is no sport in all of the major sports that is more inevitable than college football well and here's the thing we don't know who's gonna win it all this year we really don't like the nets are yeah they've got the most talent but then but then the lakers the jazz the nuggets our nuggets yes the bowls we don't know what's going to happen.
They're in the conversation. And KD said it best.
He said on Twitter, well, at first he said, there's no relax, champ, no relax when I'm on Twitter. I'm on 10 until the second I close the app.
You relax. That's great.
But he also said that NBA fans are wild because they hate the NBA. Yeah.
It is a bizarre frame of mind that a lot of NBA fansba fans well it's actually not when i think of how i feel about dude perfect or impractical jokers like i know everything about them but i hate them i think it comes down to the fact like it's weird i think that like if you broke it down nba fans seem like they're at least the most knowledgeable about the sport and And then like NFL fans, you know, we just want more NFL all the time, which is 17 games. We're like, yeah, fuck.
Yeah. This is awesome.
Even though all the players like this sucks. Like, yeah, this is sick.
But yeah, NBA Twitter is very weird like that. It's the, this league Twitter.
It's, it's, it's weird to, although I don't even know if those people are complaining. I don't know who's complaining.
I want to hear from someone who's complaining. And I bet you they're an Alabama football fan.
I actually want to, yeah, only complain, though, if you recently started to not like the NBA. I'm talking like the last year or two.
Right. And then also, if I'm going to hear from you, I also want it signed affid after David saying that you will not watch a second of the NBA playoffs.
Because I have a feeling a lot of people who tweet that and say that are still going to tune into the NBA finals.
Oh, buddy, when it's late May and that's the only thing on it, with the exception of baseball, which we love.
Baseball, you just already forgot about baseball.
Which we love.
Literally just took you two seconds to forget about baseball.
I forgot about baseball.
Yeah.
But yes, we're going to be watching the NBA playoffs. Yes, and baseball.
And baseball. And hockey.
And all the sports. Yeah, hockey and...
You could call us sports guys. I don't know.
You know, we might just like sports. Listen, when it...
After the NBA playoffs and the NHL playoffs are over, that's... It's baseball time, baby.
I am fascinated by the sports fan that is diehard one sport
and refuses to watch all others.
Rostein.
Yeah, there are a lot of them out there.
But those people fascinated me.
He's like, I don't know.
What else do you watch for the rest of the year?
There's still sports on.
You don't have to be diehard.
No, you can watch it.
But if you're watching the finals,
finals of any sport, I'm watching. You can watch it socially.
That's whatosting yeah that's true he does football socially um okay and then the nfl so on friday we we after we had taped friday's show uh the trade of a million different picks was done so what happened was uh the 49ers traded up to three the Dolphins traded back to 12. The 49ers gave them the 2022 and 2023 first.
And then right after that, the Eagles traded with the Dolphins. So the Eagles went from six to 12 and the Dolphins went back up to six.
Got it all? Yeah, I think so. So the Dolphins took the Laramamie tunsel if laramie tunsel had not ripped that gas mask bong on draft night correct then the dolphins would be out of the top 10 right now correct they got four picks from laramie tunsel falling in the draft and then the eagles if carson wentz plays a certain amount of time next year we'll have three first round picks next year right so the Eagles actually like that's that's the best way to restart a rebuild right there they got three picks coming next year they got the 12th pick this year the biggest like ramification from all this is it's clear the 49ers traded up for a quarterback uh John Lynch said afterwards like no Jimmy Garoppolo is still our guy okay no whatever.
Thanks for saying it. He said Jimmy Garoppolo is our guy this year.
Yeah, right. Okay, cool.
Until such time as Justin Fields looks awesome in practice. Now, with the 49ers moving up, it's just been a weekend of me imagining different guys in Kyle Shanahan's system.
So, like, imagine Justin Fields in Kyle Shanahan's system. Imagine Zach Taylor in, or what's his name? Zach Wilson in his system.
Imagine McCorkle. McCorkle Jones in Kyle Shanahan's system.
And honestly, I could talk myself into any quarterback in this draft. Imagine Trey Lance in Kyle Shanahan's system.
Yeah. It's going to be sick be sick imagine all and Zach Wilson's pro day
everyone went crazy and then you know what this is another thing I hate the people who are like oh not that impressive it's a pro day uh against air and he's just you know there's no pass rush dude can't I just enjoy the fact that he had a awesome throw like that was a sick throw I wanted i wanted. I want that throw.
That was a big-time throw. I want to NFT that fucking throw.
And then people are like, well, Sam Darnold did the same thing in a real game. Okay, cool.
Cool, Sam Darnold. That's awesome.
Prospects make all of us tingly inside because that's the whole point. You don't know what they are.
You can imagine them to be Patrick Mahomes.
Half these guys are going to end up sucking.
I think right now we can be like, ooh, that could be the next Tom Brady.
That could be the next Patrick Mahomes.
That's the whole point of the draft and drafting a quarterback and getting your hopes up.
It's going to be like 2011 all over again, I think,
where we're going to see four quarterbacks go in the top ten.
Yeah, no, it's become every single year it's just a rush for all the quarterbacks yeah i mean it's i think the jets are probably going to take wilson and then you have you know so in the 49ers are going to take a quarterback so the first three picks are quarterback and then what i mean what was sam hellinger still out there he was in uh billy's quarterback bracket he lost in or he's number 12 was a 12 seed, but he outperformed because he's a winner.
Yeah, that's right.
That's one guy I can't imagine in Kyle Shanahan's system.
No, I can't imagine him in any system.
No.
Yeah, it's going to be a shitload of quarterbacks drafted right off the bat.
And honestly, I could talk myself into any of them.
If I'm looking for a quarterback right now, they're all sweet.
Dude, all of them.
And you know what's crazy?
The way the NFL works now, the quarterbacks that were taken last year are already bums seriously to a time time to cut bait jordan love remember he was a first rounder that's crazy he sucks yeah yeah you just do it for like it's so quick the league now where it's every quarterback gets taken and then a year later they're just old hat so what would you do if you were jimmy garoppolo right now i would just be hot and be rich rich and be like it'd be awesome also so perfect the jimmy garoppolo now we feel bad we feel bad for jimmy garoppolo now well and it's also very uh bears like to be like oh they could have brought the hometown kid back jimmy garoppolo instead're going with ad 14 well and i also saw that the russell wilson trade might not be totally dead i don't know if this was a case of mike greenberg just throwing it out there but there was just there was some talk about another three-way i have ad 14 to get russell wilson in town i don't think i still think that russell wilson's just fucking with you personally no ad 14 is my guy and he's going to lead us to the promised land. By the way, the 17-game season, it's going to take me so long to do the math in my head with each of the records.
What gets into the playoffs now? I don't know. It was always in the back of my head.
If you get 10 wins, you're going to make the playoffs. And it's just, oh, yeah, we had 10 and 6.
We were 9 and 7. Ha ha, 9 and 7.
No, 9 and 7 doesn't exist anymore. 9 and 7 doesn't exist anymore.
It's honestly going to fuck with me big time. 8 and 8 doesn't exist.
Like, what are the percentages now? Because I knew what all the percentages were beforehand. Also, yeah, I got it.
I saw it. Everyone tweeted at me that they expanded the schedule and the Bears are the only franchise that never had a 4,000-yard passer.
And now everyone's going to have 4,000 yards because there's 17 games. Got it.
Got it. AD 14 is going to do that in 13 games.
By the way, I've made an appointment at Sport Clips for January 10th of 2022. It's the day after Fitzpatrick wins his first playoff game.
Oh, there you go. Perfect.
Ready to go. It's in my outlook right now.
How many? Are they going to go like 9-7-1?
Yeah, there's going to be a tie.
The Bengals will have a tie.
The Eagles will.
The schedule is going to fuck me up.
You can't be 500 anymore.
It sucks.
Oh, the last thing I wanted to say was UFC was Stipe Miocic, who is our guy who's on
the show, got knocked out severely.
But I know we always say, you know, like it's cliche like oh we need a 30 for 30 on this we do need a 30 for 30 on uh francis naganyu's life it's crazy he he was a he was in a he worked in a sand mine when he was 10 years old in cameroon a beach nope sand mine? Nope, sand mine. Traveled to Europe, took 14 months, failed like a bunch of times, had to go to prison because he went to France and he illegally crossed the border, then was homeless.
Failed in what? Like getting from Africa to Europe. He kept on with immigration and everything.
And then when he got to France, he had to go to jail for two months.
And then he was homeless, training to be a fucking...
And now he's a world champ.
It's crazy.
He needs a 30 for 30.
He's also just, like, the biggest human being that I've ever seen.
And I honestly...
I'm going to say it right now.
He outweighed Stipe by 35 pounds.
I'm going to just say it.
Like, I don't want to put Billy in a bad spot.
But people are asking, is Billy going to call out Francis Ngannou? would never call it he probably won't mass he probably won't but he should he should call him out and let's unify the belt i like it i like it i i'm more concerned about the fact that there's a market for sand out there yes it's a sand is like the most abundant no sandbags dude you got to put them in sandbags. But I'm trying to think how much money I've wasted just like spraying sand off my butt crap over the years.
No, you can't do a sand, exploring a sand quarry. What is a sand quarry? It honestly sounds like the worst job of all time.
Rock, sand, or minerals are extracted from the surface of the earth. Yeah, so you just pick up a shitload of sand.
You go to the beach a plastic bucket it's a lot of stuff well yeah they should do a 30 for 30 because that guy's he's he's awesome he's terrifying in the octagon too he's like absolutely scary uh all right random number oh breaking moves at fucking 12 the ship is out they got the ship out what? What? What'd they do? Did they blow it up? I think they just got multiple boats and wedged out. No way.
The giant ship blocking the Swayze Canal has been freed. Oh, no, Hank.
It's unclear how soon the vital trail will be coming. You did this to yourself, Hank.
You did this to yourself. You brought it upon yourself.
Say it. Suez.
Suez. Suez.
That's right. Patrick Swayze.
I'm kind of bummed out that the ships moved, to be honest with you. Well, it's just nice knowing every day you could just like, if you're sitting on the train and you had time to kill, it's like, let me just look up this ship and what's going on with it.
Ship's still there. Ship's still there.
I was hoping that some other boats would tie up next to it like you do in a lake in the summertime, start blasting some LMFAO, tossing jello shots overboard. Oh, man.
Good for that ship. How awesome would it be, though, if another boat got stuck there soon? Because if it happened once, it's going to happen again, right? Yeah.
Well, no, it has happened before. No, they'll put up bumpers or something.
It's just never been this stuck. How been this stuck how to get this stuck though well it's the biggest one that's allowed in there 200,000 tons yeah it's fucking bigger than the empire state building yeah it's huge dude 31 you don't even know how big those boats are all right 99 18 82 17 was the number.
What were you at?
Hank does 17 a lot.
Would you even want to win this one?
I feel like no one really wants to win this one.
Without the machine.
It wouldn't feel right.
I wouldn't want to win it.
It wouldn't feel right at all.
Yeah.
Wait, do you have an animal fact, Billy?
Yeah, hang on.
He just makes them up anyways, right? Yeah, no, he totally makes them up. Parents can learn algebra.
Yes. Snails come twice a year.
Love you guys. Talking away I don't know what I'm to say I'd say it anyway Today's another day to find you.
Shine away. I'll be coming for your love again.
Shine away. I'll be coming for your love again.
Take on me. Take me on.
I'll be gone. Let's go.
Take on me, take me on.
I'll be gone.
Can I say I'll see?
Leave us and say a hard sentence.
But I'll be so a little wait.
Telling them if life is okay. Say out to me.
Take care. Take me on
I'll be gone
In a day of tears Thank you. Just the flame of worries away You're off and top, top to remember Shining away I'll be coming for you anyway Take on me Take me on I'll be gone in a day
I'll be gone in a day Take on me
Take me on
I'll become
In a day I'll become
NFT