Ryan Whitney, College Basketball Is Back, And Tony Finau Is Officially Cursed

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Speaker 4 On today's Pardon My Take, we have Ryan Whitney, one of our favorite guests. People have been asking for him.
We talk some hockey, talk the Winter Classic, talk

Speaker 4 fighting in the NHL, talk Sidney Crosby and where he ranks all time. Ryan Whitney's golf game.
Ryan Whitney gets buddied by Billy and Broad, the disrespect. Awesome interview.

Speaker 4 We have actually a ton of sports to talk about. The Max Homo winning a tournament, the Genesis, was it the halftime tournament? It was the Genesis.
It was actually very, very upsetting. It was major.

Speaker 4 Seeing that logo and not having it be in black and white with good Charlotte Plumbers. Yes.
So we had that. We had a ton of college hoops.
We had some hockey. We have everything.
Packed Monday's show.

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Speaker 4 Okay,

Speaker 4 let's go!

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Speaker 4 Welcome to part of my tape presented by Verizon 5G. Today is Monday, February 22nd.
And I'm going to say it, boys.

Speaker 4 It's March Madness. Let's go.
It feels like March Madness.

Speaker 4 It feels this weekend. Maybe it was all the Blue Bloods having their revenge, which I love.
I love how...

Speaker 4 I don't know if you saw, but everyone was like, the Blue Bloods are back. Michigan State, Duke, Kentucky, Arizona.
I was like, well, record scratch. Arizona's a blue blood? I think when?

Speaker 4 Arizona could be a blue blood. UCLA is the blue blood of Pac-12.
Arizona could be a blue blood. I think Arizona was a blue blood.
I mean, they won a national championship in the early 2000s.

Speaker 4 That doesn't make you a bunch of NBA players. Yeah.
That doesn't make you a blue blood.

Speaker 4 Taleem Stoddemire. Historic.
Left-handed legend. Historic, right? Historic.
Blue blood.

Speaker 4 Legendary coach. What do you think? I don't know.
Yeah, I guess Jake is the... UCLA is the Pac-12 blue blood.
Yes, correct. But there's going to have more than one blue.

Speaker 4 No, No, you can, but when I think of like out west, it's UCLA.

Speaker 6 When I think of UCLA, I think of them winning like 11 championships in 10 years.

Speaker 4 Not possible, but I feel like they still do. Do you think Arizona's a blue blood? No.
Thank you. They're one step below.
Not saying they're bad. They're an incredible black.

Speaker 4 I think they're close to being a blue blood, but the fact that I just was like, oh, yeah, Jason Kidd. No, he actually went to Cal, I'm pretty sure.
And

Speaker 4 the fact that it just took you a second, like, you know a blue blood when you see it. Yeah.
It's a no-doubter. It's not like a ooh.

Speaker 4 Maybe they are.

Speaker 4 I think

Speaker 4 wouldn't Florida be a blue blood? It is kind of funny to be like. Yeah, no.

Speaker 6 Unfortunately, they're not a blue blood.

Speaker 4 Thank you. But

Speaker 6 they are unreal this

Speaker 6 since 2000s.

Speaker 4 Yes, absolutely. Back-to-back championships.
They'll never be done again. The blue blood is

Speaker 4 the history behind it. It's the history behind it.
It might, but I don't think it will.

Speaker 4 And it does a bold claim saying that nobody's ever going to win a back-to-back championship again in the history of the tournament. It's the hardest sport to win

Speaker 4 a championship. Yes.

Speaker 6 To win the tournament back-to-back twice.

Speaker 4 Yes. Yeah.
Agreed. It'll happen though.
To say it's never going to happen again, that's actually a little bit of inner blue blood coming out. That's something that a blue blood would say.
Yeah, fair.

Speaker 4 All right. Maybe I'll take it back.

Speaker 4 What about Louisville?

Speaker 4 No, no, I don't think so. No.
They didn't even win that championship that they won eight years ago.

Speaker 4 Like, Michigan State might, because of magic, I think they become a blue blood, but like, they might even be pushing it. I don't know.
It is fun to say, like, that the blue bloods are back.

Speaker 4 Like, the blue bloods have become the new mid-major. Yes, the blue bloods flip so fast.

Speaker 4 Kentucky, Michigan State, and Duke all winning as big time. Well, Duke was only a two-point underdog, but it felt like we had, like, oh, this is a normal Saturday.
And it probably sounds snobby.

Speaker 4 Like, I can't. I love college basketball regardless, but it is fun when the Blue Bloods are involved.
It's fun to hate Duke. Did you see, Hank? Like, it ruined my Saturday night, Sunday morning.

Speaker 4 Duke beat Virginia, and

Speaker 4 Virginia did not score a single point after, with like a minute and a half left, Duke slapped the floor. And I in unison.

Speaker 4 Oh, my God. It drove me nuts.
It was beautiful. But that's the stuff that you love to have.
It's good. It's good for the game when you are getting pissed off at Duke.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Because it felt like it was too easy to hate on Duke for the last couple weeks. Like you were just kicking an orphan.
You guys still did it. No, we didn't try not to.

Speaker 4 You got us worked up, Hank. It's sports, Hank.
We're a sports podcast. We have to talk about the sports shows.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 It's cool watching Jawan Howard. Like, people, when he went to Michigan, they were like, is this going to work? Looks like it's working.

Speaker 4 That dude who was on the bench on the phone that didn't get caught, what was he doing? Who are you talking to on the phone during a basketball game?

Speaker 6 I have a theory.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 6 I think he was talking to the delivery driver to get post-gay meal.

Speaker 6 The Vermont student manager, they would always be on standby and one of them would have to run out at the final media timeout to pick up the food.

Speaker 4 Got it. So that's

Speaker 4 the inside the program stuff that we're just not getting anywhere else.

Speaker 4 The Michigan-Ohio State game was awesome.

Speaker 4 high-level basketball it just feels like you know i think it was partly because we had a great friday with blue bloods but then or saturday with blue bloods and then sunday having the standalone cbs game deliver the music everything's flowing it just feels raftery and just ah it's good we can't

Speaker 4 i so so so so much missed march madness last year like i think that's one of the things that when i'm hopefully 85 on my deathbed, like my last words are going to be like, remember when we didn't get a tournament?

Speaker 4 No, I just was hot gambling.

Speaker 4 They need to come up with a drug that just makes you forget the previous 12 months. Just erase this from history.
But it really hurts. It will hurt me forever.
It will haunt me forever.

Speaker 4 But college basketball, we're rounding into form. It's March in one week, one week from today.
This is March. Yes, it will be March.
So we're ready to go.

Speaker 4 We also had our guy, Max Homa, win a tournament. What was the tournament again? It was the Genesis.
Yeah. All right, wait, here's what I have, right?

Speaker 4 I found, I googled blue bloods in college basketball. This was historically speaking, they're only six, so it's even more exclusive.
Kentucky, UNC, Indiana, Duke, UCLA, and Kansas.

Speaker 4 Wait, historically speaking, there are only six. That's what this person says.
Same again?

Speaker 4 Kentucky, UNC, Indiana, Duke, UCLA, and Kansas. That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 Michigan State is actually more borderline than, like, if we're actually going off of just straight blue bloods, I agree with this person.

Speaker 4 That person, I think, is just confusing blue bloods with the color blue on uniforms. No, they're.
All those teams except for Indiana are all just blue bloodsheds.

Speaker 4 These are teams that are historically like, you know, have been around forever and been prominent forever. And also, they're like, I don't know, there's something about basketball states.

Speaker 4 And then the next list is Connecticut, Georgetown, Louisville, Michigan State, Syracuse, Villanova. I kind of agree with this, where this guy's going with this.

Speaker 4 Like, those guys could sneak in, but really, if we're talking somebody.

Speaker 6 Tonight, me versus Hank, Syracuse Duke.

Speaker 4 oh yeah what's the mayor's bet i mean last time i won the short the pants but i gave them back before even getting them wait what do you mean you lost them back to hank after you won them i declined i won the bet but i declined the prize were so hideous that you didn't even want to claim them yeah so he would have gotten my tie if uh the dolphins one but now maybe we could run it back yeah

Speaker 4 there you go the blue bloods the blue bloods or is it

Speaker 4 might be tier two that means incest right yeah i actually agree with what this guy's guy's talking about. Isn't that where the term blue bloods comes from? Yeah, hemophilia.
Yeah, hemophilia.

Speaker 4 You're just always... His parents were brothers.
Purple is blue.

Speaker 4 How about loser has to wear a shirt and tie next time we play ping pong and stool streams? Billy? We actually know the origin of the word blue bloods. Oh, it can't be Billy's.

Speaker 4 Because the people who didn't work outside were usually the upper class, and so you could see their blue veins through their skin because it was more translucent. So that's why they're blue bloods.

Speaker 4 Okay. The first record of the term blue-blooded to mean noble descent dates to the early 19th century, but the notion actually stretches back much further.

Speaker 4 The concept likely originates in medieval Spain as Sangre Azul and is attributed to the rich, powerful families of Castile. It's kind of

Speaker 4 sincere.

Speaker 6 I have the sports version.

Speaker 4 Okay, give it to us. This is great.
We're just going deep dive on blue blood.

Speaker 6 The term blue blood refers to royalty or someone of noble birth.

Speaker 6 Because they didn't have to do anything. Nobility had very pale skin, so their blue veins were extremely visible.
So a basketball blue blood is just that.

Speaker 4 Royalty. Their veins are

Speaker 4 the most vascular basketball teams. Yeah.
Or loyalty over royalty. What was LeBron's thing? I forget.
He made that. Dad to dad.
Okay. As a father of three.
Yes.

Speaker 4 All right. So blue bloods.
I'm actually okay with this guy being like six, and there's only six. There should be, yeah, it should be a finite amount.

Speaker 4 You can't just induct new blue bloods until you kick one of them out.

Speaker 4 There's new money. Like Villanova, Yukon, Florida.
That's new money. Like Indiana.
Yeah, they're technically a blue blood, but I think they would probably be first one out.

Speaker 4 Yeah, although they do have last undefeated season, right? Is that true? Yes, yeah. Last undefeated season.
Who? Indiana.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I got a check. Check.
Okay.

Speaker 4 We're getting Jake. We're working overtime.
Either way,

Speaker 4 college basketball feels so back. It just, the tournament feels like it's coming very, very soon, and everything is rampant.

Speaker 4 There we go. So everything.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 And this year will be interesting because we have Gonzaga.

Speaker 4 We have three unbeatens, right? We have Gonzaga, Baylor.

Speaker 4 Jalen Johnson. Jalen Johnson.
Morty Mush thinks he's the funniest person ever.

Speaker 4 But I feel like in yesterday's game,

Speaker 4 that was the first time in months that somebody's been like

Speaker 4 showed up on a national stage and you're like, that team can beat Baylor. That team can beat Gonzaga.
Michigan? Michigan. Michigan's really good.
Michigan's really good.

Speaker 4 I feel like we need to include them in that conversation. Yes.
Baylor, Gonzaga, Michigan. That's it.
Do you think that Jalen Johnson's draft stock will get affected if they go on a run without him?

Speaker 4 Actually, no.

Speaker 4 No. Okay.
I do not. Just because I think his, like,

Speaker 4 the take, he'll get a lot of hot takes about him, but I think that his draft status will be whatever his draft status is because I don't think the actual people making the picks and the scouts care about what Duke did.

Speaker 4 Now, if this was... Unless Gar Foreman gets a job between now and then.
If this was the NFL, then yes, there would be some GMs and some talent evaluators that would be like better off without him.

Speaker 4 He's a diva, but I think the NBA hasn't reached that level of hot takeness inside their own ranks yet.

Speaker 4 I mean, we have a couple months before the draft, and we'll get into the whole draft eventually when we get there, but there's already a lot of talk about Zach Wilson not being a captain.

Speaker 4 A lot of talk, which I kind of agree with.

Speaker 4 If you're a quarterback,

Speaker 4 I'll put it this way: I'd prefer you to be a captain. It's so hard to be a quarterback and not be a captain.
Yes, yes. There's something.

Speaker 4 It's the Bo Callahan joke and draft day joke actually becomes real when you have a college quarterback who's a first-round talent and not a captain. And no one goes to his birthday party.

Speaker 4 You know what he should do? If you're smart, Zach Wilson, you need to release all the pictures of all your birthday parties. Yes.

Speaker 4 And just, I don't care, just Photoshop everybody on your team into the background, make everybody believe in you as a leader. Because

Speaker 4 if you're a dominant college quarterback, you play at a a good school like BYU, and you're not elected captain, like you better have a first-round pick, a running back, first-round pick at wide receiver.

Speaker 4 I don't think that BYU does. Nope.
So it's like, who were...

Speaker 4 You know what? If I were him, I would be like, I was voted captain and I elected to give it to my center. Or he could say, as 21 years old, I was actually the youngest guy on the team.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 So, uh-huh. Do Mormons not believe in the birthdays? Or is that Jehovah's Witness? That's Jehovah's Witness.
Okay, so maybe he should just say he's the Jehovah's Witness. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Or he's extra-Mormon. You could confuse some people.
I'm confused right now just saying it. They'd be like, I don't celebrate birthdays, therefore no one could come to it.
Right.

Speaker 4 Mormons soak, but they celebrate birthdays. Right.
That's what you do on your birthday. You just penis and vagina and you just hang out for a while.
Jehovah's Witness.

Speaker 4 Billy, every time we bring up soak, Billy looks at us like, huh? You know what soaking is, Billy? Yeah, we went over it. Okay, all right, good.
All right, let's talk golf.

Speaker 4 Max Homa won the Genesis Open. Tony Finau, so congrats to Max.
We're going to try to get him on

Speaker 4 later on this week. Tony Finau is officially cursed.
And

Speaker 4 so I tweeted that question out there. Is Tony Finau cursed? He's not only cursed, there is a curse.
Have you heard about the Puerto Rican Open? No.

Speaker 4 There's a legitimate curse out there, and I'm so fucking in on it. So the Puerto Rican Open, Puerto Rico Open, that is the one win that Tony Final has.
He has like a ton of top fives.

Speaker 4 He's finished top five at every major tournament. He's always there.
He's leading always on Saturday, and then he falls apart on Sunday. The Puerto Rico Open has an 11-year history.

Speaker 4 This is from Will Gray, GC, on Twitter. 11-year history.
No winner has gone on to win any other tournament after they won the Puerto Rico Open. That's wild.
How crazy is that?

Speaker 4 The only winner to win another tournament after they won the Puerto Rican Open is Michael Bradley, who won the Puerto Rico Open again.

Speaker 4 No other tournament

Speaker 4 doesn't count. That's the definition of a fear of victory, right? Like you win, you're super happy, and then you're just fucked.
But what's the purse at the Puerto Rican Open? Because

Speaker 4 if it's high enough, then I don't think that you really care that much. No, you don't care.

Speaker 4 I was reading about it. It's like, it's great for, I think it is like $3 million, maybe? Yeah, that's pretty good.
No, wait.

Speaker 4 No, sorry, $540,000. I was way off.
Way off.

Speaker 4 Here's an even better one, right? Yeah, way off.

Speaker 4 Then Ryan Lavner, G.C., so these guys are just working to get Golf Channel, just fucking hopping on each other's tweets. He had this anecdote as well.

Speaker 4 Guys who finished second in the Puerto Rican Open,

Speaker 4 Jason Day, Jordan Spieth, and Bryson DeChambeau.

Speaker 4 The best part of their entire career was finishing second, not first. That's the money spot, yeah.
It is a cursed tournament.

Speaker 4 11 years that it's been there, and no one has ever won that tournament and then afterwards won another tournament. So, when is the next one?

Speaker 4 I think it just happened. I think it just happened, right? Okay, I was just gonna say, Jake, so many fucking things.
We have to kidnap Brooks before that one.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I think this might be the one that he skipped. Oh, no, it's that it hasn't happened yet.
2021 has not happened yet. It's this week.
It's this week. Brooks, don't go.
Don't go. Don't go.

Speaker 4 Don't stay home. Puerto Rico Open.
That's Eastern. February 25th to 28th.

Speaker 6 Coco Beach Golf and Country Club.

Speaker 4 That's crazy, though. That is very

Speaker 4 willed to shamball. I have no idea how to compare that to other tournaments.
None. But that's got to be the only one with a stat like that.
Yeah, and so Tony Final is cursed.

Speaker 4 And if you can feel it, like the other guys that have won this tournament are not Tony Final level golfers. Tony Final, it's pretty clear he's cursed.

Speaker 4 Because he always is in the middle of the I ended out on the Tony Final curse thing until you brought up the goal. I believe in the Puerto Rico Open.

Speaker 4 I don't necessarily believe that Final is cursed because I feel like golf always has a character like that and it changes over the course of the years.

Speaker 4 But there's always like one guy who's in in contention at every major doesn't win and then finally he wins one and then he might win another uh down the line but i think it's just because golf is very hard to win majors you're right there's always that one guy that he can't win a tournament until it like he has 99.9 percent approval rating right

Speaker 4 it was that way yeah and gym nance is is literally crying on the broadcast trying to get him to victory yes then and only then can he win he becomes like the the favorite golfer of 55 year old dudes right and whoever is lining up behind that guy, eventually, like when Phil Mickelson made that putt out of August and Obama started tweeting about him,

Speaker 4 dads across America were weeping. And that's going to be Tony Final, and he'll win one eventually.
But

Speaker 4 I was shocked.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Willie? I think so.

Speaker 4 He might be cursed. I don't know.
If we can get rid of the Puerto Rico curse,

Speaker 4 we are rooting for Bryson this weekend. That's going to be wild.

Speaker 4 I'm a full-on Bryson DeShambeau stand right now. Yeah.
I mean, Tony Final must. He has to probably be...
We're giving Jake a million things to work on. So add this and we'll circle back with it.

Speaker 4 He has to be like the highest earning golfer to only have one win. Because I feel like he cashes checks every week.
Yeah. They're like half a million.

Speaker 4 With the majors when you finish like fourth place. That's a pretty good weekend.
I was shocked that Max actually came back and won after that last hole on 18. He had his shot like three feet away.

Speaker 4 Got the yips, the course beat him on 18. Do you know what it was?

Speaker 4 I think the,

Speaker 4 and hopefully we'll have him on to ask him this, but I think for Max, he's good, but he's so good at Twitter that that putt, he was being like, what is Twitter going to say if I miss this?

Speaker 4 Because I died. He's thinking about it.
Yeah, because he has made half of his living, half his living is golf, half of his living is roasting people on Twitter. Yeah.

Speaker 4 At some point, he has to think when he's playing, like, oh, this one's not going to go well on Twitter.

Speaker 4 Either that or he's so good at Twitter that he knew that he would go viral as fuck if he missed that three-foot three-foot butt. True.
And yes, you did. That video got millions of impressions.

Speaker 4 It's the curse of being too online.

Speaker 4 How bad would it suck to finish a tournament you've played, how do you do math? Was it 72 holes? Yep. And then all of a sudden you have to play more golf.
Like that would suck.

Speaker 4 If you have to play 18 holes of golf sober, that's hell enough. Well, I...
You just mean like go back to 10 after you're done. No, thank you.
It's not bad for the single elimination.

Speaker 4 So the single elimination holes is totally fine.

Speaker 4 What the PGA Championship, I think it is, or no, it might be the U.S. Open.

Speaker 4 Where you have to play a full 18, that's bullshit. They might have changed that, but that's what it was like when there was Tiger and Rocco back in the day.

Speaker 4 I think the one-hole playoff is fucking awesome. I think that's electric.
I think also you're like, I mean, for Tony Finau, he was pumped to have that chance. Yeah.
Even though he's cursed.

Speaker 4 I mean, it is crazy that Max was able to come back and win after that, and he ended up in a couple nice shots behind the tree. Yeah.
I mean, if you're

Speaker 4 a battery footer, that is the biggest example of the curse being true. It was like, Max choked as, Not choked, but like he

Speaker 4 gave it away. He gave it away.
Max would tell. If Max was watching Max on Twitter, Max would say he choked.
Yeah. So it's only fair.
We say that he choked.

Speaker 6 So Tony Final is number 78 all time when it comes to money. 21 million, 285,000.
This could be active. Okay.
Like Tiger, Phil, Furik, EJ Singh.

Speaker 6 Right below him at 79 is Bryson. So Bryson's one a major, and Tony still makes more than him.

Speaker 4 Wow. That's crazy.
Yeah, I don't know. So I don't know.
Don't, you know, don't cry for me, Argentina. Don't cry for me, Tony Finau.

Speaker 4 But someone actually did tweet that he thinks that there's a rumor out there that Tony Finau is like a long-lost cousin of Seamus Fleming, Frank Fleming's great-great-grandfather.

Speaker 4 That was a grandfather. Wasn't his great-great-grandmother also very unlucky? Like, she bought a potato farm right before.

Speaker 4 Seamus started the potato famine. Okay.

Speaker 4 He mushed the entire nation, the entire island. Yes.
And I think it became like a stock trader in 1922.

Speaker 4 it was 1929 yeah yeah black friday a huge blimp fan back in the teens he got into the mortgage business in 2007 oh that was me uh all right so what else we got on sports uh it was an awesome weekend awesome weekend watching max win was fun because i feel like fun i when did we have him on like two months ago three months ago yeah but i feel like we've masters right before masters yeah we've grown along with max these last couple last couple months and he's actually like come close to winning before that's the homosexual nation that we talked about last week.

Speaker 4 Like, we're here, we're proud. Yep.
I also appreciate how much, you know, he plays a lot of Warzone. Like, I'll go on it any night, and he's just like on there grinding.

Speaker 4 And that's one of those things where it's like, hey, he's a pro athlete winning millions of dollars, and he just goes home and just like us,

Speaker 4 hunts dubs. Yes.
At the end of the day, oh, everyone likes Merkin. The only other news is Johnny Damon got arrested for DUI, which that had to have been the biggest, oh, you think story.

Speaker 4 Like that, saber metrically,

Speaker 4 his blood alcohol level was a 0.30 that's he was three-quarters of the way dead dead if you're a 0.40 and he was like smiling he looked like he was relatively lucid in his mug shot but that's 0.30 is like that's first ballot hall of fame drunk stuff i wonder i mean i don't credit to the police officer for even understanding him because you can't understand him when he's sober but that was the rare story where you were i was scrolling the timeline saw it and you could have told me that was six years old and i would have been like yeah that makes sense like that how that was the least shocking DUI arrest of all time.

Speaker 4 Yeah, the only thing I missed was he should have had the beard.

Speaker 4 I wish he still had the caveman beard because he actually looked better than I thought he would look in his mug shot for a 0.30 blood alcohol level. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Like, I wanted to see him in full-on homeless, shaggy guy mode. But I guess the Yankees took that out of him.
It's really sad.

Speaker 4 I would imagine Johnny Damon's personal lawyer had a file ready to go already for the DUI. Yeah, yeah.
Like, he just, like, how they pre-write obituaries, like, you know, ABC.

Speaker 4 His lawyer just opened up came into work the next day opened up the file count and was like in case of dui or when dui happens here is our defense there are certain guys out there that you you should definitely have that pre-written yeah he's got to it's pretty much it's half of baseball I would say, has DUIs.

Speaker 4 I mean, you get to drink in the clubhouse after all these games. Yeah, it's a grant.
And it's in Florida.

Speaker 4 I just assume that if you're a retired baseball player and you live in Florida, you've got at least two or three DUIs already under your belt. And Arizona.
Arizona and Florida. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I feel like Arizona might be the most DUI of all the states. Minnesota is shockingly high.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Can you get them on like a sled?

Speaker 4 I think

Speaker 4 anything. That would be probably

Speaker 4 the final boss of a DUI, is like getting your dogs pulled over because you're too drunk. What if the dogs are drunk? Yeah.

Speaker 4 Then it's double,

Speaker 4 don't do that. Don't do not.
Don't drink and drive, period. Don't beat Johnny Damon.
That's a great way to live life. All right, let's do our Who's Back of the Week.
and then we have Ryan Whitney.

Speaker 4 Awesome, awesome interview with uh Ryan Whitney, even though he was disrespectful to Billy. But who's back of the week is brought to you by our friends at cash.

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Speaker 4 Hank, who's back of the week?

Speaker 4 Who's back of the week is Coach Prime. Yeah.
He stopped coming on this show because he was focusing on the upcoming season. Today was their first game.
They won like 57-0. Yep.

Speaker 4 Troy Aikman is pretty like badass to see just Troy Aikman

Speaker 4 came in just to like support his friend Dion, but like that's pretty cool.

Speaker 4 And they have a whole season coming up, so it's going to be electric to watch.

Speaker 4 What do you mean they? You know that we are

Speaker 4 part of the team. Right.
We are one. We're just trying to go 1-0 every week, Hank.
I watched a little of the game on the ESPM app. It was pretty good.
Right.

Speaker 4 It also had the music. It had the college football music.
It will fill the void of like the XFL.

Speaker 4 It's better than the XFL was last year. It's better than whatever other sports leagues is like Coach Prime.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I agree. I think if you were to rank

Speaker 4 spring football leagues, FCS is one. The new XFL, actually, no, the old XFL is two.
New XFL is three. Then you have all the USL, whatever that league was that we all forgot about.

Speaker 4 And then the one that Johnny Football is in with the Glacier Boys this year. By the way, I think I'm a Glacier Boys fan.
Oh, nice. Are 2-0? No, I'm not a Zapdo.
You're Zap? Nope. Nope.

Speaker 4 Glacier Boy, then. Yep.
Glacier Boys. Glacier Boys.
Oh, is that Migos? Yeah. Glacier Boys.
That's, yeah. Okay.
Yeah. We're Glacier Boys.
I'm Amigo.

Speaker 4 What is your, who is your who's back? My who's back of the week is

Speaker 4 being woke. Being woke is back big time.

Speaker 4 Little programming announcement. Arian Foster and I are doing a podcast.
It's going to be coming out every single Tuesday. It's going to be basically just about being woke as fuck about everything.

Speaker 4 So we're going to be diving into like conspiracies, dark web stuff, whatever Arian is getting obsessed with that week, and we're going to do stuff on Clubhouse too.

Speaker 4 So I don't really know what Clubhouse is or understand it, but we're going to try to go on Clubhouse and then use what we get off Clubhouse to also go into the podcast. What's it called?

Speaker 4 It's called, thank you, Hank. Good question.
Stool streams. Go download the playbarstool.

Speaker 4 You can win. It's free to enter.
You can win $5,000.

Speaker 4 It's going to be amazing. You guys are going to love it.

Speaker 4 No, the podcast is called Micro Dosing. So I feel

Speaker 4 macro dosing. Macro dosing.
It's called macro dosing. Yeah, it's called macro dosing, and it's gonna be a lot of fun.
Arian's pumped. I think we're gonna have Arian's on

Speaker 4 Wednesday.

Speaker 4 Yeah, we're gonna have on Wednesday. We'll talk sports.
Episode one is coming out. Sports conspiracy.
Episode one is coming out Tuesday, and it's a dose. What? Are you gonna dose? I'll dose.

Speaker 4 It's a deep dive into the life of Alex Jones.

Speaker 4 Not just like his theories and stuff, but like his life growing up and how he became, how he turned from like a pretty red 41-year-old fat guy into a really red 41-year-old fat guy.

Speaker 4 Before and after, yeah.

Speaker 4 He did that 30-day diet. Yeah, that was great.
No, he was just popping the pills. By the way, I ordered a bunch of stuff from the Infowar Score store, so that's going to be fun.

Speaker 4 I'll be taking Super Male Alpha Vitality pills again. I already tried the bonus stones.
Didn't work.

Speaker 4 All right, so my who's back. Actually, I'm also, I'm woke on my Who's Back, so go download Macro Dosing right now.
Subscribe to it. We will have Arian on the show on Wednesday.
I'm woke, PFT.

Speaker 4 Maybe you can discuss this with Aaron. I'm woke on this Cam Newton clip.

Speaker 4 I'm woke on this Cam Newton clip. So if you saw, there was a viral video of Cam Newton getting berated by what seemed like a high school kid at a seven-on-seven tournament.

Speaker 4 And the reaction is naturally, how could you do this to Cam Newton? Respect Cam Newton.

Speaker 4 Sports Center tweeted out, oh, here's a list of all his accomplishments, Heisman Trophy, National Championship, MVP, everything, right? Everyone's saying Cam Newton in his prime was incredible.

Speaker 4 Yes, Cam Newton in his prime was incredible. It almost is Cam Newton a free agent? Yeah.
Yeah. It almost feels like that was kind of set up to remind everyone how awesome Cam Newton was.
Interesting.

Speaker 4 We'll put out a video of Cam getting disrespected so that people are forced to recall how great he is at football. Because you're right,

Speaker 4 this is the most sympathetic press Cam Newton

Speaker 4 in the last year. Not only that, but this is, it is a universal this kid's being a shithead.
I'm kind of on Team Kid here. Like, there's not a single person without

Speaker 4 tank. Almost two.
Like, when do you see that on the internet? When it's like a no-brainer. Exactly.

Speaker 4 It's just. This is perfect.
Like, if,

Speaker 4 listen, the level of wokeness that this takes to get to. All I'm saying is

Speaker 4 set this up.

Speaker 4 That's what you have to think about. Yes.
PR people. We know PR people who could absolutely set something like this up.

Speaker 4 Bleep this name.

Speaker 4 Could absolutely set that up. I don't know.

Speaker 4 I think if it was set up, he would have been wearing a fancier outfit. This isn't the first time this has happened.
There's another.

Speaker 4 You also notice he had a Peloton jacket on. He probably got paid by Peloton.
This is all set up by Big Buddy.

Speaker 4 He got a double dip. No, he's like, hey, we're going to do a viral video to help Cam's rep.
and get everyone on Cam's side. Oh, do we want to get an advertiser involved? Maybe get a little extra cash.

Speaker 4 We also had a statement that he put out which yeah i mean the marketing marketing people more than pr people

Speaker 4 he just managed to have on deck yep how long do you think it would take cam newton to write an instagram post that long dude i'm just probably days i know no big cat just perfect crime do the math on it because i think that you're onto something yes in order to type all those weird letters in and to write that entire like two paragraph statement that he put out there wasn't enough time that passed between when the video came out and when the post appeared that he was ready to go hey wait for the follow-up wait for the follow-up.

Speaker 4 I guarantee you that part of the follow-up, they have to have Cam Newton. They told the kid, because the kid's villain number one on the internet today.

Speaker 4 Like, you know, the old saying, you don't want to be the main story on the internet today? Like, he was the main story for a little bit. Cam Newton's going to take him under his wing.

Speaker 4 Cam Newton's going to do a fucking E60 with him, and Jeremy Schapp is going to be like, oh, this is great. Like, what became a viral video has now become a great relationship.

Speaker 4 And Cam Newton is teaching this kid how to play quarterback. And now this kid has all these D1.

Speaker 4 It goes fucking deep.

Speaker 4 How cucked would Tony Dungy be if that's what happened?

Speaker 4 If, like, you know that Tony's on a plane right now trying to find that kid to mentor him if Cam swoops in and becomes the good guy instead of him? Sometimes you can like see something

Speaker 4 in 4D and you're shocked at your own brain. And this was one of those times for me.
When I saw this, I was like, uh-uh. I just thought.
Uh-uh.

Speaker 4 I am pro talking shit to people, but I'm also pro Cam Newton should have just absolutely nuked the kid. Cam should have been able to throw the kid like onto his street.

Speaker 4 Just like, Cam, you should be able to defend yourself in a situation. Like jazz from Fresh Prince.
Yes. Yes.
Where somebody's being that disrespectful, like, I'm a little bit concerned.

Speaker 4 That's actually what's telling me that Cam Newton isn't healthy. Because if he was, he should have just swung on the kid.
Like Josh Norman? Yes.

Speaker 4 He ragged the kids. Josh Norman was laughing at him.
But this isn't the first time he's gone into verbal arguments with kids.

Speaker 4 Who?

Speaker 4 Cam Newton? Yeah. Are you talking about the video? Are you saying it was? The commercial? No.

Speaker 4 When it's the little kid being played with the kids. No, no.
There's another video of him

Speaker 4 getting in the face of a kid. I think he chirps the kids and then they chirp back.
Do you think he provokes it? Yeah. No, no, no.
But like, the guy talks tricks.

Speaker 4 He's talking about like it was when he like gave a ball to someone and the kid took it and he yelled at the kid or something. Which was fair.
No, no, no. There's another one.

Speaker 4 It's at a similar camp type thing. And he gets in the kid's face and says, listen, kid, like, da-da-da-da.
Yeah, so I think Billy,

Speaker 4 I think I know what video you're talking about, Billy. Is it this one? No problem.
No, dude.

Speaker 4 Yeah, the guy. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Anyway,

Speaker 4 my who's back of the week is respecting your elders. Alright, Boomer.
Maybe.

Speaker 4 So,

Speaker 4 you can be in my backups and make Pantos fans forget about you and become your mom's favorite player. Whoa.

Speaker 4 I'm just loosening my arm.

Speaker 4 That's it. That's the video you're talking about.
Yeah, you're right. He does get in the face of the video.
He's got a history.

Speaker 4 Now, Billy's looking. You're trying to find out.

Speaker 4 Cam Newton gets in the face of trash-talking teen. Okay.

Speaker 4 And it's going to be the video from today. No, it's not.

Speaker 4 All right. So, Billy, who's Respecting Your Elders?

Speaker 4 Well, honestly, I did some introspection and realized that I may have beat up an old man. And seeing this Cam Newton video a long time ago.

Speaker 4 Anyway, seeing this Cam Newton video made me realize, like, we should really bring back Respecting respecting your elders. And

Speaker 4 not to call anyone elderly. Right.
But I just think, you know, I need to be more respectful to my elders. Okay, why?

Speaker 4 Because

Speaker 4 that sued my who back.

Speaker 4 Who would be an example of an elder?

Speaker 4 How old are we talking when we say elder? Because elder, I think, like grandparents. Yeah.
Yeah. Who.
Just older. Like, how old? Like gray hair? Like, 28 and 36?

Speaker 4 No.

Speaker 4 Two 28-year-olds and a 36-year-old?

Speaker 4 Just those who have accomplished a lot and need respect.

Speaker 4 Wait, you're 28, Hank. I'm 27.
Are you sure?

Speaker 4 Pretty sure. Okay.
I think you're 27. The funniest part of that video, I think, is the fact that Billy also called Hank old.
Hank's like three years older than him. Yeah, right.
Right.

Speaker 4 Billy is trying to take our jobs. I'm not trying to take the jobs.
Yeah, you are.

Speaker 4 So do our boss. You know who's getting old? PFT, Big Cat, and Hank.

Speaker 4 You being threatened

Speaker 4 shows weakness. No, no, no.
I'm not threatening. And now I'm thinking.

Speaker 4 Should I go for the kill?

Speaker 4 I'm seeing a little weakness. Billy, you know what really shows weakness is apologizing.
Billy apologized over a group text.

Speaker 4 We thought maybe it was a moment of growth because you left 30 pounds of rabbit meat sitting in the lobby, which is a totally normal thing.

Speaker 4 I think most kids in their early 20s make mistakes like that.

Speaker 4 But then you apologized for it, and our initial reaction was like, whoa, Billy, that's impressive. You actually, you admitted that you did something bad instead of lying about it.

Speaker 4 I actually, now I've reversed on that take. I think that was a beta move of you tucking your tail and apologizing.
No, it's just respecting.

Speaker 4 You were such an awful when you used to lie. Now I don't even know.
No, I just have a problem where I can't say no to people.

Speaker 4 So if a guy says, I want to send you 30 pounds of rabbit meat, I'm not going to say no. Yeah, true.
Never say no to that.

Speaker 4 Yeah, Billy, don't act like getting 30 pounds of dead rabbit in the mail wasn't like the best thing that's happened to you. I have so many plans for it.

Speaker 4 Jake, you got a who's back? Because Billy sucked. Well, you took mine.

Speaker 4 Billy,

Speaker 4 you always got to come with a couple. I know.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you know you're the penultimate person to go.

Speaker 4 I always. Yeah.
Nice, Jake.

Speaker 4 Nice, Jake.

Speaker 4 I have two. Oh,

Speaker 4 good job, Jake. Put up the score, bitch.
No, that was not intentional. I just had it.

Speaker 4 Good job, Jake.

Speaker 4 Jake, great job.

Speaker 6 Thanks. One is time-lapses.
PFT actually pointed this out with the Winter Classic.

Speaker 4 Yep.

Speaker 4 The Lake Tahoe Time Laps. And we're going to talk about The Sun and Gary Bettman with Whitney.
So you didn't forget about it.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it was quite a time-lapse.

Speaker 6 Two is from The Blind Side, S.J. Tui.
He got the job as a director of football operations of Gospel Zahn at UCF. Remember The Blind Side?

Speaker 4 Yeah. That's The Sun? Yeah.
Yeah, Little Brother.

Speaker 4 Terrible.

Speaker 6 They put that car crash in the movie.

Speaker 4 It was like a PG movie. I never saw the movie.

Speaker 4 I don't want to do that. You thought the car crash was too violent? I don't want to do it.
I think for a Disney movie, I read the bar. It was a Disney movie.
I did read the barn.

Speaker 4 I thought it was fine. I read every Michael Lewis book.
I feel like Disney movie and car crashes. Yeah.

Speaker 4 I can't speak to the Disney movie. I mean, have you seen the

Speaker 4 intro of up? Lion King? Oh, yeah. The intro of up.
The intro of up is the crash of the ball.

Speaker 4 What about when they slaughter a young cub's dad in front of him?

Speaker 4 Is that

Speaker 4 the Perlay Crossburn? Or Bambi, when they hunt down Bambi's mother and kill her in front of Bambi? Is that

Speaker 4 That's a lady getting poisoned and she falls asleep for the rest of her life, basically. That's also in a Disney movie.
How was the movie? Was it good? Yeah, it was great. I didn't see it.
Big Mike.

Speaker 4 I read the book.

Speaker 6 That's what they call him.

Speaker 4 Pro tip for everyone out there, just anytime Michael Lewis comes out with a book, read it because it will most likely end up being a movie. What else should you do? Big Short, Money Ball,

Speaker 4 and Blindside.

Speaker 4 He's the book-to-movie guy. He is the book-to-movie guy.
What you got, Billy? I got the Cam Newton clip, the first one. Okay.
That was like four topics ago. Yep.
All right. So Brian Whitney.

Speaker 4 Billy, I'll give you a good who's back. You ready? No, yeah, I don't know.
Trent Richardson. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Road to Canton starts now in Mexico. Future Hall of Famer.
He's joining the Cadidos de Chihuahua of the Mexican-American Football League. I wouldn't mind a jersey in this office.
Not at all.

Speaker 4 I would love one of those. But I think he's just inventing new leagues to join so that he can technically say I'm still a football player.

Speaker 4 And in the interview with him, he was like, he didn't really know what he was going going to be doing for the team, which I guess isn't that different from when he was on the Browns.

Speaker 4 But he was like, I don't know if I'm going to be playing or if I'm going to be around the team helping them out in various ways.

Speaker 4 And then it just devolved into him being like, I got daughters now that are going into high school and they're always on their phones and they don't see me very often.

Speaker 4 And it just went in these like weird directions. And I was thinking, is Trent Richardson okay? Yeah, probably not.

Speaker 4 Like, Trent Richardson went from being really good to just

Speaker 4 unbelievably shitty. Yeah.
Almost overnight. Yes.

Speaker 4 What happened to that guy? Well,

Speaker 4 yeah, I don't know. He just had no vision.
Billy, how are the QB breakdowns coming? Oh, they're going great. Yeah, great.
All right. Let's get to Ryan Whitney.

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Speaker 7 My personal favorite, the Blazing Buffalo Chicken, Hummus, or even one of their charcuterie collections for game-changing flavor.

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Speaker 4 All right, here he is, Ryan Whitney.

Speaker 4 All right, we now welcome on one of our favorite guests. We've been promising the people.
I don't think I've ever had as many tweets in the past week being like, where the fuck is Whitney?

Speaker 4 You promised us Whitney. It is Ryan Whitney, spitting chicklets.

Speaker 4 You know, seriously, you are the people's champ. So, Wit is here, spitting chicklets.
If you don't listen, I mean, everyone in the world listens, but if you don't, it's the number one hockey podcast.

Speaker 4 So, we want to talk to you about it. Number one podcast in Canada.
Number one podcast in Canada.

Speaker 8 That's a fact. I have have a question first, though, before we start.
Yeah.

Speaker 8 Who farted?

Speaker 4 Ah, it wasn't me. It was.
Great question.

Speaker 4 I can't tell you who it was. I can tell you who it wasn't.
That's this guy. Okay.

Speaker 4 I have a non-hockey question to start. Yep.

Speaker 4 You're in Florida right now.

Speaker 4 How's the golf game looking?

Speaker 8 The golf game's nice. I just played in a tournament in Tampa this past week.
I'm playing a lot.

Speaker 8 I think I got some of this like tennis elbow, which is weird that it's not golfer's elbow, but mine's tennis elbow, but it's been driving me nuts. It's been driving me crazy.

Speaker 8 So I've been icing that thing, but I'm still playing a lot. I'm playing a lot.

Speaker 4 It's hockey tough. Yeah.
And if you're a heavy person, congratulations. Have you played with any famous people? No, I haven't.
Oh, you haven't?

Speaker 8 No. Okay.
No, I'm hoping to maybe meet one famous guy and play with him, but nothing yet.

Speaker 4 Damn. All right.
Well, I'm rooting for you to play with some famous people. Thanks, Dan.

Speaker 4 I've got a question for you because people might not know you from doing spin chicklets.

Speaker 4 It might just be like, that's the guy from the New Amsterdam vodka commercial that's always on on my television. Did you write the line more like Paul Mistinette?

Speaker 4 Or did someone else, someone wrote that for you, right? You can't. Biz wrote it.
Biz wrote it himself?

Speaker 8 We got to that commercial and it was the longest day of my life.

Speaker 8 We did three different commercials and all the scripts for each commercial was like the corniest shit. Stuff we'd never say.
It was just so awkward. And Biz is like, nope, nope, would never say this.

Speaker 8 Absolutely not. And he just rewrote the whole thing and he just said what to say at all times.
Pretty much nine, at least out of every 10 words I said, Biz gave me nine of them.

Speaker 4 I'm shocked that Paul was like the main writer. Did he get credit for writing that?

Speaker 8 Paul is a is a

Speaker 8 fascinating human being. You guys know Biz.
He's like a genius in some ways and completely out to lunch in other ways. It's very hard to describe, but he is very good in terms of like

Speaker 8 imagination, thinking of things, how to write a commercial.

Speaker 4 Who would have guessed? A vivid imagination. All right, let's talk some hockey.

Speaker 4 So did you know that the sun exists?

Speaker 8 So it is a thing.

Speaker 8 It gets hot.

Speaker 8 And sometimes in the area that they call Lake Tahoe, it can be warm in the winter.

Speaker 4 Did you know that? Well, also, it comes out in the day. Yeah.
So typically around noon, like they call that afternoon area, like that window between noon and four.

Speaker 4 That's usually when the sun's out. Yeah.

Speaker 8 Depends on where you are on the planet, but yeah, you know, that's pretty much a solid time point.

Speaker 4 that you you got to rely on the sun so if people who maybe weren't paying attention this weekend the uh winter classic is in lake tahoe this weekend it's actually an incredible incredible like setup scenic views picturesque like if you close your eyes and said what an outdoor hockey a perfect outdoor hockey game would look like it was this setup unfortunately the sun was out as it sometimes happens uh on saturday during the day and now the niche done a bunch of outdoor games uh gary bettman even said we've done everything.

Speaker 4 We played in snow, we played in rain, but sunshine has always been our enemy. And they had to delay the game.
So

Speaker 4 do you guys like playing these outdoor games? Or

Speaker 4 is it kind of old hat now?

Speaker 8 I'm kind of all over the map with this. I got a chance to play in the first one, not to make it about me, not a big deal.
I got to play in the first one. It was nuts.

Speaker 8 It was Crosby scores the shootout winner, snowing, Buffalo. It was perfection how it went.

Speaker 8 Now, as it went along and it went along, like, you know, the classic, which is always New Year's Day, I actually think it's great because it's something different. Guys do enjoy playing it.

Speaker 8 And I mean, like, it's people, it's right before like the Rose Bowl and stuff. Like, it's a good, it's a good time to have it.
So I think that's been great.

Speaker 8 The years have gone on where they started doing, you know, just the, what they do, the series, like the winter classic series where the teams are playing games. They did a game at Air Force.

Speaker 8 They've done a game in L.A. They've kind of done them everywhere.
So in a sense, like, I do feel bad chirping them for this mishap and what happened with Colorado Vegas.

Speaker 8 but i mean it's worked everywhere else they did one in dallas last year and it was sick dallas nashville we were down there so i i know that like the planning sounds ridiculous but it kind of was the perfect storm of sun to ruin the game daytime now i think i think guys are a little

Speaker 4 are probably are probably enjoying getting to do it right now because like the year is so boring and they can't leave their hotels and at least this is something different but i'm sure there's guys they'll tell you like all right enough's enough like it's kind of it's lost its uh we've lost our course here on the outdoor game I kind of agree with you that the New Year's Day one felt special and then when they added extra ones it's like but and this one I you know we all had our fun on Saturday with Gary Bettman because it's it you can't predict that it's going to be exactly like that because I think the temperature was it was freezing so and it's just the quote that he had when he said if you look up at the sun the cloud covers everywhere but where the sun is and it's like okay dude yeah that's yeah that happens sometimes no well big cat that's how you you can see the sun when the cloud doesn't cover it.

Speaker 4 So that's how you're looking up. In terms of just the actual game, how different is it to play outside versus indoors?

Speaker 8 At the beginning, it's crazy. I think you get used to it.
The day in Buffalo, it was freezing. So you had the heat warmers on the bench, football style, and it was like.

Speaker 8 you ended up getting into it depending if you played a decent amount or not but at the at the beginning it is weird and i think like to have the fans around it was awesome and that's the one thing i did want to say about people who chirp the game.

Speaker 8 Nobody who's at these games is upset about them. Like it's your tailgate, everyone gets wrecked.
It's like, it's all about for the people that are there. So then this year, right?

Speaker 8 Like, I think it would have been even more difficult because you see the guys, see the fans and the people watching. This year, you're just looking out on this lake.

Speaker 8 And it was probably like, actually, probably pretty cool, I'm guessing, at the beginning. I mean, I know watching on TV when it came on, I was like, this looks incredible.

Speaker 8 Like, they should never have fans again at these or put them in places that are just picturesque. So I don't don't know.
I don't know. What was the question again?

Speaker 4 I don't even remember. Oh, actual playing the game.
Is it harder?

Speaker 8 Oh, yeah, at the beginning, but you get used to it, no doubt. Unless the sun's in your eyes, but that means the clouds aren't covering the sun.

Speaker 4 It was actually a very cloudy day for a sunny day. So I do respect the fact that Gary Battle.
You can't plan on having a sunny, cloudy day.

Speaker 8 Well, it's like when you know the guy was like, look at the sky, look at the day. There's not a cloud in the sky.
And then the guy was like, oh, there's one there.

Speaker 8 Like, you kind of, you're like that guy.

Speaker 4 Have you ever played any game where you have to start and stop, you know, after a period? You have to wait, you know, sit around for the entire rest of the year. Oh, that was crazy.

Speaker 8 I've had to wait. You know, we had like in college, hockey finals or semifinals, right? Like you're the second game and the first game went into double or triple OT, I think.

Speaker 8 So you're waiting around, but like you never actually played. part of the game.
You never went out in warm-ups. You hadn't actually skated yet.

Speaker 8 So like the, the, the, the, the thought of them getting undressed, having to dry their equipment, having the trainers to do the laundry and like get everything redone for just the second second period sounded like a nightmare to me because what do you do?

Speaker 8 Go back and sleep. It's like, I guess they approach it like a whole new game, but definitely nothing like that I've ever been a part of.

Speaker 4 That's a good question. Like, what do they do they do laundry? Do you wash all the jerseys? And then is there time?

Speaker 8 I don't, I don't, I bet you they probably did wash the jerseys. And then the laundry, like your actual like ginch, what you wear underneath.
I mean, you're just, you got bags and bags of that.

Speaker 8 You got your back up set for the game if they didn't want to get it done that quick. Maybe they did, though.
Guys are very superstitious. Yeah.

Speaker 4 All right. So the other big story from the weekend, Sidney Crosby, thousandth win.
You played with Sidney Crosby. Thousandth game.
Really? Thousandth game. Sorry.
Thousandth game. Not thousandth win.

Speaker 4 Thousandth game.

Speaker 4 That would have been crazy.

Speaker 4 You played with him.

Speaker 4 Is he, where is he on all-time hockey players list? And you know what? You're not good at the double question, so I'll just start with that.

Speaker 8 I actually crush double questions. I've really improved since we first met on that, so fuck right off.
And I will answer the first part, and that is I actually think it's in no particular order.

Speaker 8 I haven't prepared enough to give you that order. I don't know if I even could do it, but it's Wayne Gretzky, Mario Lemuse, Sidney Crosby, Bobby Orr, Gordy Howe.

Speaker 4 Okay. No particular order.
That's your top five.

Speaker 8 Crosby's in my top five players of all time.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 4 What about best scorers?

Speaker 8 Ovechkin. Okay, thanks.
I think the best goal scorer of all time.

Speaker 8 I know he doesn't have the most goals, which he actually somehow might break, although it's a tough start right now for his season goal-wise.

Speaker 8 But Ovechkin is right there with Gretzky and Hall, top goal scorers of all time.

Speaker 4 So you played with one of the top five guys of all time.

Speaker 4 What's your best Crosby story? Not even off ice, but like on ice, just

Speaker 4 how it was to play with him. And did he make your job and everyone's job that much easier just having him like on the ice with you?

Speaker 8 Well,

Speaker 8 everyone who listens to Spit and Chickots know I just say thanks, Sid all the time. So in terms of making things easy for me, Big Cat, I am not lying to you.

Speaker 8 I had 10 assists one year that I was sitting on the bench once the goal was scored because I just passed it to him. I passed it to him in the neutral zone or our own zone.
And he's like,

Speaker 8 And then, like, he ends up scoring or giving it to someone else. And I'd be like,

Speaker 8 you know, goal scored by Avgenny Malcolm, assisted by Sidney Crosby and Ryan Whitney.

Speaker 4 I was like, what?

Speaker 8 I was like, oh my God, I did give it to him a minute and a half ago. So it was like his, his, his first, I mean, my first memory of like

Speaker 8 my before, my first memory of like hearing about Sid was like, you know, this kid's the next great one. It's like he's, he can't miss.

Speaker 8 And so, I mean, you've, you've heard of different players before and it doesn't work out, but everything was kind of aligning for him. And then the NHL season was canceled.

Speaker 8 So you couldn't figure out who was going to get the first overall pick for Crosby. And the year prior, Pittsburgh, you know, they were so bad.
And

Speaker 8 I think that they won the lottery. I don't remember.
I don't remember how they did the lottery, but Pittsburgh won. My brother came flying, flying in the house.
He's like, Pittsburgh of Crosby.

Speaker 8 You're going to play with Crosby. Like, I was like, oh my God.
Like, and I hadn't, you know, ever seen the kid play, but all you'd heard is like, this is this is it.

Speaker 8 So I got to camp and a buddy of mine, Noah Welsh, he's from Boston. He's in camp with the Penguins, played a little bit with the Penguins as well.

Speaker 8 He was in the group, the first group in the morning, right? Which is like Crosby's group. And he came off.
He's like, he's the best hockey player to ever live. He's like, he's doing things.

Speaker 8 I was like, what? Is it that crazy? And then I got the chance to watch and see. And it was like a different game.
I know, like, people say now McDavid's doing things that have never been done.

Speaker 8 McCrosby was one of those guys. You'll never forget seeing what he do.
He was so fast through the neutral zone. And then he was enormous.

Speaker 8 His lower half, he's got a huge ass, huge legs, and he's just like down low. You can't get the puck away from him.
He's quick.

Speaker 8 He's like driving off you and just embarrassing guys in practice and in games. And he was all 18.
It was, it was nuts.

Speaker 4 I love those type of stories, though, because it is like the guys who are truly special. I feel like everyone just knows right away and they're like okay this is just totally different

Speaker 8 than anyone else who just shows up at 18 years old yeah there was a there was like moments when guys are he's given guys passes that have played you know he's given Zygmunt Paul fee Mark Recke passes where they're almost not even ready for it just because there's no way somebody could have got that puck to me like there was no lanes how is it there and then like so making everyone's life easier uh the second year was i think it was his best year in the nhl i don't know if he'd say that but he won mvp and that was my biggest year that's the the only reason I got a contract is that year.

Speaker 8 And we had this play, right? It was like I was backdoor guy on the power play. I don't know how I weaseled my way under this power play.

Speaker 8 It was Sergei Gonschar, Sidney Crosby, Evgeny Malkin, Mark Recke, and then me, the pigeon. So I'm like playing the offside.
And then Crosby's finding me, right?

Speaker 8 He's, if you, if you know hockey, he's on the half ball at the puck, and I'm going down to the back door of the net. And he keeps hitting me.
I'm like not ready for it or I can't handle it.

Speaker 8 It's such a hard pass, but it's right on my tape. And the

Speaker 8 assistant coach mike yo um he he's coached as a head coach in the nhl since but he's like you have to learn to like handle this pass you got to learn to get a shot off he's going to keep finding you so he actually helped me a ton mike yo and practice after practice sure enough i started like being able to just like one-time these things i'm not kidding you it'd be a kind of a cross ice pass that i would just have my stick and like really firmly hold my bottom hand and things would go up up beat the goalie because the pass was so perfect nobody could see it coming so i was able to like really benefit from from getting points and signing a huge contract directly because of him.

Speaker 4 How long into his career did he get? Like,

Speaker 4 did the hazing stop with him? Because I have to imagine if a guy comes in who's that good, right? And everybody's talking about him like, okay, he's the next Gretzky.

Speaker 4 He's this young hot shot on your team. I feel like you guys probably had to break him in a little bit.
There was probably a little element of like, we got to make sure this kid doesn't get a big head.

Speaker 8 No, it wasn't. Nobody fucked with Sid.

Speaker 8 I think, I actually think that's like different for for some guys.

Speaker 8 It was like, I mean, I'm sure, you know, guys were busting his balls and stuff, but there was no like pranks being pulled on Crosby, really.

Speaker 4 He was like, if they were, if they were, they were minor ones that would laugh.

Speaker 8 Like, they were ruining my shoes and like cutting holes in my suits.

Speaker 4 You didn't do that to him. I was pigeon getting tossed.

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Speaker 4 And now, here's more Ryan Whitney. All right, let's talk some hockey this season.

Speaker 4 Do you like the setup that like the playoff setup and how everything is different where we could actually have a Stanley Cup final that is two, you know, two East teams

Speaker 4 that are usually on the East or two West teams. Do you like that? Do you like that it's just all kind of chaotic?

Speaker 8 I love it. I think the all-Canadian division is sick.
And people kind of chirp because they get the most love. And granted, I mean, it's hockey in Canada.
And I think that Toronto's a wagon.

Speaker 8 They're nasty, but I don't know how deep the division is. So people are like, oh my God, they're going to come, whoever comes out of that division, they're going to get smoked anyways.

Speaker 8 But I'm a huge fan. And I know that it sucks for players because, like, I mean, the blues, the blues played the Coyote seven straight games.

Speaker 4 Yes.

Speaker 8 This is ridiculous. But I think as a fan, it is is like fun to watch.
And the playoffs is what'll be crazy because four teams from each division.

Speaker 8 And then at the end, the final four, you got a winner from each. And it's like, all of a sudden, the Bruins play the Canadians in the cup final.

Speaker 8 Like there's so many different options here that I'm wondering if they'll be able to build on some of it. I don't know if you can ever like actually do this again or you'd want to because you want.

Speaker 8 each guy you want fans to get the chance to see mcdavid and kovetchkin and crosby like it doesn't make sense but for this one year as crazy as it's been i think it's doing great and i know there's been madness in terms of like covet which every sport it's dealing with with cancellations but in the end the games are going to get played and hockey's going on so i'm a huge fan of what's going on only because the rivalry's forming and and basically the storylines write themselves with these games back to back to back yeah and the maple leafs are really good but they are i feel like the maple leafs as a franchise at least in america we don't talk about them as being one of the all-time like most heartbreaking franchises to root for but they've had their moments they're like they are right up there with a lot of the Atlanta stats that we like to throw out, or the Minnesota stats that we throw out.

Speaker 4 But is this, can you give hope to Toronto fans this year? Or is it going to be a letdown?

Speaker 8 I think you can. I think it's 1967.
So what is that? 53?

Speaker 8 I'm a math guy. 53 years.
I mean, it's like you don't really, you remember the Rangers when they won theirs, there was the signs, 54 years, finally, like now I can die in peace.

Speaker 8 Like the Maple Leafs have been pathetic. And I wouldn't say pathetic because a lot of years they had good teams, couldn't get out of the east.

Speaker 8 But now they have a team that is like legitimately built to win a Stanley Cup. I think they got Thornton.
They got Wayne Simmons. They have like toughness.
They got Good D. They're goaltending solid.

Speaker 8 And Matthews, I'll say Marner's, Marner's an amazing player. Matthews right now is kind of taking over the league, at least goal scoring-wise.

Speaker 8 He's on pace to score 55 goals in a 55-game season, whatever it is. So

Speaker 8 I've actually come out and said

Speaker 8 that I'm rooting for the Toronto Maple Leafs to stand the cup to win the cup this year. That's my team this year.
I want them to win. I think Bizminer came out and said the same thing.

Speaker 8 So we're Maple Leaves

Speaker 8 bandwagon guys. I just like, I love their uniforms.
I love the history. I love the drama.
How like hockey is just, if they have a bad game, all these ridiculous,

Speaker 8 nutcased Maple Leaves fans are saying the team sucks. And if they, it's just like.
The passion behind Maple Leaves fans and that team is so good that I want to see him get it done.

Speaker 4 Why do they spell their name FS? Why isn't it Maple Leaves?

Speaker 8 That's a great great question, dude. I have no clue.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I don't know either. Great question.

Speaker 4 My one Blackhawks question.

Speaker 4 So this was supposed to be a lost year. They're playing really well.
A lot of young guys playing really well. Obviously, Taze

Speaker 4 is out and kind of mysteriously, but hopefully he's okay. But are we buying that they could possibly get in the playoffs?

Speaker 4 Because it is weird to look at, like, they've won, I think, seven or seven out of last nine or whatever it may be now, but they also have played more games than other other teams that they're around so it's hard to like totally judge if they could be in the top four of the of their division yeah i said um

Speaker 8 because chiefs been all over them and been loving like

Speaker 8 what kind of team they have or not what kind of team they have but how they play and i said it's great to watch but there's there's no chance they're making the playoffs No chance.

Speaker 8 I just don't see it happening. There's like the depth isn't there.
Maybe if Taves comes back, but who knows what's going on there? Hope he is all right.

Speaker 8 But it's still fun because they're like a team that I think not much is expected.

Speaker 8 expected and if you ask most blackhawks fans they're like the pesky the pesky hawks like they're not really giving up any games like they are way more difficult to play against than people thought and the main reason well

Speaker 8 uh debrinkett bouncing back he had a tough year after he signed that big deal last year he's been great but kane is just like a different different animal it's like i i i continually wonder like will he slow down chicago's not as good and every year he's right right near the top of the league it's like a truly hall of fame all-time great player, Patrick Kane.

Speaker 8 So I think the ability to have him still out there and just generating whatever he wants. He scored that

Speaker 8 spin-around backhand goal the other day. He just does things that like there's very few people in the world that can do it.

Speaker 8 So as long as he's there, I guess they'll have a way better chance than I gave him.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Oh, I just remembered you just triggered my second Sidney Crosby question.
I was going to ask. I don't know how the Hall of Fame works in hockey.
Will you be invited

Speaker 4 when Sidney Crosby gets into the Hall of Fame? Will you be part part of the crew?

Speaker 8 I doubt it.

Speaker 4 Come on.

Speaker 8 The only thing I have going for me is the like chiclets.

Speaker 8 We interviewed him.

Speaker 8 He came on that. So, you know, obviously he likes Biz and I enough to have done that show because he's a pretty private guy.

Speaker 8 And we were rookies together. So maybe he looks back like, oh, we were the same year we witnessed the NHL together.
I brought him to a bar in Boston. We got waffled.

Speaker 4 I mean, I just don't think we're that close that

Speaker 8 I'm going to his Hall of Fame game. I just, I

Speaker 8 Hall of Fame induction. I don't know.

Speaker 4 They always have like old teammates. They could just be.
Yeah, I know, I know.

Speaker 8 But like, I didn't win a cup with him. He's won three.
So there's so many teammates that won a cup. Thanks for bringing it up.

Speaker 8 And I just hope, I hope that maybe when I text him, when he gets into the Hall of Fame, he texts me back.

Speaker 4 Like, thanks, man. I think what you have to do is you just have to make a name for yourself as the biggest Sidney Crosby supporter in the world.

Speaker 4 Like a great way to get it.

Speaker 8 Listen to Chickluts. You guys,

Speaker 8 That has been like.

Speaker 4 No, you're all time. And I also.

Speaker 8 Onoxiously brought up that I am the stan.

Speaker 4 But I just heard you say that he's not the greatest hockey player of all time.

Speaker 4 Yeah, like when I asked that, you should be like number one. Number one.

Speaker 4 And it's not even close. That's what you should say.
You should be the Sidney Crosby guy. Then you'll get that information.

Speaker 4 You need to do, like, you're

Speaker 4 doing. You're not a big NBA guy.

Speaker 8 You don't have to mind pretzeling me right now.

Speaker 4 You're probably right. You're not a big NBA guy, but what you need to do is you need to become like the Nick Wright for LeBron.
You need to do that for Sidney Crosby.

Speaker 4 You need to have stats like ready to go. Like, oh, you know,

Speaker 4 everything that is just twisted so that Sidney Crosby is the greatest of all time is indisputable.

Speaker 4 If I ask you for who's the best, you're like, yeah, you know, Sidney Crosby actually has, if you do it like per game and you break it down, like he's actually 10 times better than Wayne Gretzky.

Speaker 4 You need that.

Speaker 8 If that gets me to Toronto on whatever night that is, probably in like 10 years, then I will start doing it.

Speaker 4 We're going to get it. I'll just have a rough.
Yeah, also.

Speaker 8 I'll write it down on my hand just every day, just re-ink it.

Speaker 4 So I didn't forget it.

Speaker 4 You need to cut up highlight reels of what the goaltending was like in the 80s and just show a bunch of goalies falling on their face and be like, this is who Wayne Gretzky was scoring against.

Speaker 8 Very valid argument, right there. Although Frankie Borrelli thought he couldn't even play in the NHL.

Speaker 4 I think he was going to be able to do that. Yeah, that was very stupid.
What a mute. Very stupid.
Very stupid. Is it true? Like, how bad were the goalies in the 1980s?

Speaker 8 I mean, it's tough to say, right? Like, now they look horrific, but how bad do, I don't know, like, golfers look in the 80s. Like, they're all like fat slobs.
Like, I don't know.

Speaker 8 It's just what they were back then.

Speaker 8 I'm sure, like, you look back at offense and say, wow, guys weren't making many saves, but their pads were they were wearing like Boston globes taped around their like legs.

Speaker 8 They didn't even have pads. So now the goalies, you can't even see the net.
It's hard, but they did suck.

Speaker 8 I mean, there's videos, there's plenty of videos of guys in the 70s and 80s scoring slap shots on the ice. Like, that doesn't happen anymore.

Speaker 4 Right, right.

Speaker 4 I like that. I hate the Boston Globe, too, but sorry.
I like the visual just of

Speaker 4 just getting out there with. Do you think you could have played without a helmet?

Speaker 8 Oh, God.

Speaker 4 No, my ears, I would have tripped over.

Speaker 8 My ear would have caught the flaxi glass and ripped right off.

Speaker 4 I actually, I actually,

Speaker 4 who was I talking to? Was there still a guy? Who's the last guy against? Craig McTavish.

Speaker 8 I think Craig McTavish was the last player.

Speaker 4 Was he still in the league when you were because he got grandfathered?

Speaker 8 No, no. I never played against somebody that didn't wear a helmet.

Speaker 8 But people would say, like, he would stand in front of the net and just come off after shifts with just like straight up like nicks needing stitches in his like forehead.

Speaker 4 He's like, ah, I don't care.

Speaker 8 They said Craig McTavish, too, would take face-offs and just like head-butt the guy with the helmet on.

Speaker 4 He was taking the face-offs. Jesus Christ.
I love that that was a grandfather rule. That's like, okay, you know what?

Speaker 4 You've been playing without a helmet for long enough that the damage has already been done. You're not going to be able to do that.

Speaker 8 I got grandfathered. Yeah, I know.
I got grandfathered in for one thing, which was the,

Speaker 8 they made people start wearing half shields when you come into the league. And I never did until I got sent to the minors at the end where you had to.
So I got grandfathered in for one thing.

Speaker 4 Yeah, he, okay, so I'm looking up right now, 96, 97. He played, he's, I remember like being like,

Speaker 4 how is there one guy who's not doesn't have a helmet on?

Speaker 8 That guy's crazy. You're like, that guy's crazy, and he probably liked it.

Speaker 4 Right, yeah.

Speaker 8 The really crazy thing, though, is when the goalies didn't have helmets on because, yeah, maybe it was the 50s, whatever, Jacques Plant, like whoever started, I don't know exactly what year it was.

Speaker 8 And they were shooting it on the ice, and they weren't shooting it as heavy and hard as they are now, but deflections were still happening.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 8 Goalies are staying there.

Speaker 8 Pucks are getting tipped. They're hitting shin pads and going flying into their nose.
So those are the true lunatics.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Yeah, it's crazy to think that anybody never, like, back in the day, you didn't sit down and think, maybe if I'm going to play goalie, I'm going to wear a face mask or a helmet.

Speaker 4 Like, did that's.

Speaker 8 Yeah, hey, man, you want to play goalie? Like, can I get a helmet, pussy?

Speaker 4 Pussy, yeah, man, card. Um, speaking of being a tough guy, do you do you think that now your fighting record wasn't great.
Do you think you could have beaten up Jose Conseiko that night?

Speaker 4 Yeah, the other night, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 8 I would, I mean, I would hope so. I mean, Billy, Billy came at him hard, which was great, but like that guy looked like a stumbling drunk walking out of a bar, walking into the ring.

Speaker 4 It's true, Billy football.

Speaker 8 Billy football, does like, does Billy Football think he knocked him out or does he know he took a dive?

Speaker 4 He's listening right now. Go ahead, Billy.
Billy, tell him about the fight. Tell him what you were.

Speaker 4 He just quit.

Speaker 4 He thought I was a joke, and then I showed up, and he was.

Speaker 8 It wasn't taking a dive for the money. Didn't matter who it was.

Speaker 4 If he didn't think you were a killer coming out of it, he would have to put on a show. But the thing is, he made a business decision.
Yeah. You know, at the end of the day.
Well, you were in war mode.

Speaker 8 Hey, whatever helps you sleep at night, Billy.

Speaker 4 I hate when people say it's a fucking dive because the thing about a dive is everyone's on the same page for a dive because you're supposed to make it not look like a dive.

Speaker 4 That's the whole point of a dive. But your mind was switched to the point where you were ready to kill him.
Yeah, 100%. Yeah.

Speaker 8 It was very impressive that opening bell, boom, you were on your toes.

Speaker 4 I jumped off there, Billy. I jumped him.

Speaker 4 That was the plan. Throw over 100 punches.

Speaker 8 How much weight did you gain before the fight?

Speaker 4 I lost a ton. Yeah, Billy was trying to throw

Speaker 4 140 punches in the first round. That was his plan.

Speaker 4 I killed the target number. No, no, no.
That was his team, it was like 140, dude. I would hit the bag for a minute and straight.
I got up to 140 in a minute. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Actually, no, no, no, those are actually minute 30 rounds. Okay, yeah.
I was doing that.

Speaker 8 Who's next on the card?

Speaker 4 I'm waiting for Jake Paul to lose to Ben Asker and then I'm going to call him out. Hopefully he's.
I love it. That's the next step.

Speaker 8 Man, he's going to see that fight against Kensa.

Speaker 4 He doesn't want nothing to do with you. Yeah.
You got some good tape out there. Absolutely.
Yeah. I mean, it sucks that it wasn't a longer fight.

Speaker 4 i feel bad like i was there to like you know scrap right get my ass like once you got into the ring it was it was warzone yes uh wit who do you have for uh winning the so you you're rooting for the leafs yes but what's your prediction i can't uh i can't

Speaker 8 like pick against tampa i don't know like their their team is just so stacked like last year you saw they were like

Speaker 8 just heads and shoulders above anyone else. And

Speaker 8 people kind of say like, oh, they don't have Kucharov all year. I'm like, yeah, that's great.
They're going to get him back right for the playoffs. It's like perfect.

Speaker 8 He'll be skating with them like before the playoffs. He'll be ready to go.
And then you just throw that guy in with the team they already have.

Speaker 8 So, with how easily they kind of got it done last year, and

Speaker 8 especially after they went through, like, they were, they were Virginia hoops, dude. They lost in the first round, swept by Columbus, and then they won it the next year.

Speaker 8 It was like, so now they're over that hump where it's like, all right, let's get another one. And they just have such a deep team, and their goalie goalie is one of the tops in the league.

Speaker 8 So I like Tampa. I'm hoping for Toronto.
And I think Vegas and Colorado are just going to end up battling it out in the West. I don't know how that's going to go down.

Speaker 8 I don't know who will end up coming out top when they do face each other, if they do face each other. But I look forward to it because the NHL right now is as like healthy as it's ever been.

Speaker 8 I think it's like the league's great. I think

Speaker 8 for all the people that like bitch and whine and want fighting out of the game,

Speaker 8 the parts of fighting that are gone are probably the parts that should be gone.

Speaker 8 That was like just premeditated, like didn't even mean anything, had nothing from the game, just two heavies just going at it to kind of set the tone for a game.

Speaker 8 I know like guys made a living and I respect those guys more than ever, but it was like

Speaker 8 now you see fights that are happening out of like pure rage during the game. That's when it's okay.
That's what like people really want to see in a sense of two guys are battling the corner.

Speaker 8 All of a sudden they're just so pissed off. It's just natural they go.

Speaker 8 So hockey has that while also having more scoring and less of like the the big-time brawls and what what what happened before so i think it's awesome yeah i did i looked up actually jake sent us uh the reason why the maple leafs are called the leafs and not the leaves because they're named after you guys have that that what a staff you guys have you can get that jake's winner you would be asking that question on chicklets for three more weeks to each other

Speaker 4 i almost wish i didn't know the answer because it's kind of boring it's just like they're named after a maple leaf right they're not named after a bunch of leaves A singular leaf.

Speaker 4 They're named after a singular leaf. So, as a collective whole, they are the maple leafs.
I know.

Speaker 8 I feel like if I'd used my brain at all, I maybe could have like answered that. Like, the maple, there's a, it's a maple leaf.

Speaker 4 But in your defense, you were just doing an interview. You probably played 36 holes today.
Like, you're a busy guy.

Speaker 8 I took off today. I took the day off.
I was bummed out to it.

Speaker 4 It's beautiful. Oh, shit.
All right. So, my last question is: what are you actually shooting right now? Like, what are you shooting in golf?

Speaker 8 So, I just played in a tournament.

Speaker 8 And first round i shot 71 i played great and the second round i shot second round i shot 76 and that missed the cut it was a good like mid-ammer tournament so mid ams are uh amateur golfers who are 25 years and or older so that you get rid of the college studs you know the younger like so it's like more like the old it's like men's league for golf but people are good so it was a good field where all these kids have played in USGA events and good big-time golf seniors played with a couple seniors that played in the U.S.

Speaker 8 Senior Open and I missed the cut, so that was unfortunate. But it's still, I played pretty solid.
I played, so I missed the cut by one. Plus seven.
I need to shoot plus six.

Speaker 4 Are you like borderline, maybe thinking about someday trying to go to like Q-school?

Speaker 8 No, not even.

Speaker 4 Not.

Speaker 4 So you don't have the balls like Caleb Presley.

Speaker 8 Oh, no, I just don't have the game, dude.

Speaker 8 People, I actually say a lot that I think that PGA Tour golfers are better at their sport than any other professional athlete is at their sport, if that makes any sense.

Speaker 8 If you threw in a scratch golfer, so I'm like a zero handicap, if you threw me in a PGA tour event, I would stand out.

Speaker 8 I would look way more foolish than if you put in like a good men's league basketball player in an NBA game.

Speaker 4 Interesting.

Speaker 8 I know that sounds crazy, but it does.

Speaker 8 Those golfers are

Speaker 8 those PGA tour golfers are like plus six handicaps. They're regularly shooting 66, 67 at their home course.
It's a different world. So, yeah, throw me in an NBA game.
I'll look like Sean Bradley.

Speaker 8 Throw me on the tour. I'll shoot 100 and quit.

Speaker 4 Who do you think, what other sport is

Speaker 4 best for like athletes in another sport best for golfers after they retire? And have you played with anyone who maybe retired from their sport and now play golf? Oh,

Speaker 8 who's awesome golfers?

Speaker 4 Like famous.

Speaker 8 What's his name? Hicks on the Yankees is nasty.

Speaker 4 Oh, okay.

Speaker 4 He's really good.

Speaker 4 Who are the

Speaker 4 John Smoltz?

Speaker 8 John Smoltz played in the U.S. Senior Open.
He's got a nice game.

Speaker 4 I heard MJ is awesome.

Speaker 8 Michael Jordan's apparently a very good golfer. I heard he likes to gamble on the course.

Speaker 4 Who else? Steph Curry. Charles Barkley sucks.
Oh, Tony Romo. Steph Tony Romos.
Steph Curry is really good.

Speaker 4 Apparently Barkley shot.

Speaker 8 Apparently Barkley used to be like a legitimate good golfer. I don't know what happened.
He lost the game. Romo is good.
Romo's played in some sick amateur events. Yeah.

Speaker 8 Probably, probably events that he has no business in, like playing with college kids and then finishing last. It's like, dude, you're not that good.

Speaker 4 But no to Jordan. You've never played with Jordan.
No.

Speaker 4 Someday. Hopefully.
Someday, boys. Hopefully.
Someday, maybe.

Speaker 8 That'd be a dream. That'd be a dream.
It's a dream to come on your pod again. I feel like it's been fucking 10 years since Biz and I sat in that.

Speaker 4 No, it was the old office.

Speaker 8 I know. And that was kind of, you guys had Biz and I on, kind of just get chiclets a little bit of pardon my take, love.
And ever since it's been, we're always chasing you guys down. Number one,

Speaker 8 you guys got you feel you feel like you got a bullseye on your head?

Speaker 4 Yeah, from Bill from Billy Football, who's sitting right next to me. He called us old to Erica.
Can you believe that?

Speaker 8 Billy, you know who fucking butters your bread, you Muppet?

Speaker 4 Buddy, I was too bad.

Speaker 4 Who did you buddy? He just hit you in the buddy. He's a buddy.
Who did you buddy? Was that me or with? That was a buddy. Did you buddy me? He buddied me? I didn't buddy it.

Speaker 4 What do you just say, buddy?

Speaker 4 You just said buddy. I was senior.
I was not. No, no, no.

Speaker 4 Bro, I'm not buddy. Bro, you're broad and bad.
You're bumping out? No, I'm not.

Speaker 4 I'm getting broed and buddied by Billy fucking football. No,

Speaker 4 I was talking to big cats. Yo, that's even one.
Yeah, you don't buddy even cat. You're buddy and your boss?

Speaker 4 Look, I

Speaker 4 put your tongue away for a minute.

Speaker 4 I sang his praises for like the whole interview, and I just say one thing about me basically being younger than these guys, and they just won't drop it. Oh, man.

Speaker 4 It was just interesting to see, you know, I know why lions kill their young sometimes.

Speaker 8 No, and you also know, like, who ends up taking the two power kings down part of my take? The guys from within.

Speaker 4 Yeah, no,

Speaker 4 no. And Billy also gave Big Cat coronavirus and tried to kill him.
So it's all adding up. No, I'm a parasite on this operation.
If the host dies, I die. Interesting.
All right.

Speaker 4 Well, hopefully we see a March Madness.

Speaker 8 I'm going to be there.

Speaker 8 I'm going to definitely be there because I don't know if you know I'm a Chelsea football fan. Yes.

Speaker 8 And I'm coming when they play Arsenal next in May, and I'm going to fucking stomp on Zod and troops.

Speaker 4 I don't know if you know, but I'm the number one troops troll. So I'll tell you all my lessons.
Oh, so

Speaker 4 he almost needed lessons from you.

Speaker 8 But I'm going to have my team whooping on them. And my team looks nice.
I mean, like, Arsenal's a joke of a club. I'm really into football now, soccer.
So I'm even that official.

Speaker 4 I'm calling it football.

Speaker 4 Do you actually watch the games?

Speaker 8 Every game. No, you don't.
Every single game since I started watching Chelsea, I've watched, and I watch most Premier League games. I love that they're on in the mornings on the weekend.

Speaker 8 And then Wednesdays and stuff, like 3 o'clock.

Speaker 8 Dude, I'm all in on soccer. It's crazy.
I find myself watching games, not even Chelsea games. I'm Wikipedian, guys.
I love the drama. I love how the managers are like these Hollywood celebrities.

Speaker 8 It's just awesome. They call it the beautiful game, I think.

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah. Gio Go Benito.
No, it actually is. The fact that it's on in the mornings, like you just pop it on.
and you can, it's actually the best like background noise sport there is.

Speaker 8 Yeah, and the no commercials thing's sick.

Speaker 4 And it's cool to see, like, wake up and just see a ball moving on grass. It's very refreshing for a hangover.

Speaker 4 It just does ease you into your Saturday. Yeah.
Yeah. Yep.
I love it. All right.
Well, Wit, thank you. You're the best, man.
People.

Speaker 8 All right, guys. Great, great catching up with you guys.

Speaker 8 I'll see you soon, hopefully.

Speaker 4 Good to see you, Wit. See you, man.
Take care. Later.

Speaker 8 See you boys.

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Speaker 4 Okay, let's do some segments and send everyone on their way. Just a reminder, go subscribe to Macro Dosing with PFT and Arian Foster.
We'll have Arian Foster on the show on Wednesday.

Speaker 4 Let's go.

Speaker 4 Hank's been coughing a lot recently.

Speaker 4 Hank? It's alright, I got the antibodies. no big deal.
So does Billy. I don't.

Speaker 4 I'm exposed. Billy and I are just fucking.
We basically,

Speaker 4 we're so badass, we created our own vaccine. That's only

Speaker 4 really good for six months or so. Yeah.
All right, let's go. We got talking tennis.

Speaker 4 Ah!

Speaker 4 Ah!

Speaker 4 My goat,

Speaker 4 wait, what's his name? Novak Jokovich.

Speaker 4 You would have gotten there. I was going to say Novak.
I was like 45 seconds. I was going to say Dovak Nocovich.

Speaker 4 Jovak Smokovich.

Speaker 4 I definitely thought his name was Dovak. All right, Novak Jokovich.
I am the number one Dovak Nokovich fan out there. He wins his 18th

Speaker 4 championship, right? 18th title. 18th major.
Major. What do you call him in tennis? I don't know.
Help us. Grand Slam.
Grand Slam.

Speaker 4 He's the fucking goat. Suck on this dick, Jake.

Speaker 4 What?

Speaker 4 What? You don't think he's. Why me? You don't think he's the goat? Well, because you're a Federer guy.
I know you. I got Federer from a mile away.

Speaker 4 You have the RF hat that you wear. No, my brother.
And you're fucking playing tennis on Boca Ratton. Yeah, I know.
Raton.

Speaker 4 Wait, you're not a Rafa guy? I like Rafa too. A fellow lefty.
I thought you were a Rafa guy. I like Rafa.
I'm a Rafa guy. Bombs Rafa.
You can't. No, that's bullshit.

Speaker 4 You cannot like both Rafa and Federer. You have to hate one of them.
Pick one. Pick who.
Who's your goat? That's so soft if you like Fed. All right, Fed's your goat, so suck on this dick.

Speaker 4 I mean, what does Djokovic have to do? Just keep winning all the fucking tournaments? He's won. Rafa? Has he won 20? And Roger have 20.
Okay. So he's not there.
Djokovic is

Speaker 4 18. He's only 18?

Speaker 6 He is 33.

Speaker 4 Okay, so we're going to get there. Roger, 39.

Speaker 4 Rafa.

Speaker 4 He got booed. 34.
However,

Speaker 6 I didn't see that. It was 3.30 in the morning.

Speaker 4 I was not up, unfortunately.

Speaker 4 Dovak got booed? Dovak got booed, I think. That's

Speaker 4 a vaccination.

Speaker 4 He probably reintroduced COVID to the conversation.

Speaker 6 So Rafa and Roger are tied, but at Roland Garris, French Open, Rafa literally wins every time.

Speaker 4 Well, guess what? At Australia, something oil could do. At Sydney,

Speaker 4 Dovak wins every single time.

Speaker 4 He's won seven in a row, right?

Speaker 4 Rafa has beat Federer at Wimbledon, has he not?

Speaker 4 They all beat each other. Dovak has beaten Federer at Wimbledon as of recent match.
Yeah, that's what got me into tennis. Has Dovak beat Rafa at the French? No one beats Rafa at the French Flames.

Speaker 4 Exactly.

Speaker 4 It's different than everything else. Competition close.

Speaker 6 Also, the actual fifth Grand Slam is coming off Miami.

Speaker 4 What is that? Wait, no.

Speaker 4 You can't do that.

Speaker 6 No, it's the biggest non-Grand Slam.

Speaker 4 On your home court. Yeah.
They do it. It's really cool.

Speaker 6 They do it at Hard Rock Stadium.

Speaker 4 You haven't even said, what's the name of the tournament? Of course they do.

Speaker 6 Miami Open.

Speaker 4 The Miami Open is the fifth Grand Slam. Yeah.
I doubt that. I highly doubt that.
Google it. I'm going to Google the fifth Grand Slam tennis.

Speaker 6 It's either going to say that or Indian Wells, which is right before it.

Speaker 4 The fifth Grand Slam tennis is.

Speaker 4 Oh, conveniently, when Dovak did win a French Open,

Speaker 4 Indian Wells. Rafa heard his wid-a-wist.

Speaker 4 Bullshit. But if he's healthy for Roland Garrows, he will win it.
Dovak? No, Rafa.

Speaker 4 I do respect Dovak. Just I'm fascinated by anybody that can become like a, how many millions of dollars has he won? Probably like,

Speaker 4 including endorsements, you have to think he's probably made like $100 million. He's not endorsed like Rafa.
Or Federer. He's a bad boy.
Yeah, he's a good one.

Speaker 4 So he's got, yeah, he can't have like the watch companies. He's got my pillow.

Speaker 4 He's got my pillow. That's basically it.
You can't get like Rolex behind you if you're an anti-vaxxer. But I respect somebody who's that rich, but that committed to

Speaker 4 just posting all their worst ideas all the time.

Speaker 4 Like all you have to do if you're Novak is just like not post your ideas, but he's so addicted to the online lifestyle and getting those bad all that bad boy street cred that he's like, you know what?

Speaker 4 I don't give a shit if I can't get sponsored by like HR Block. I'm going to fucking get these

Speaker 4 autism takes off my chest.

Speaker 4 I agree that there are certain athletes that it's like,

Speaker 4 you know, like, oh, this shut up and dribble. I want athletes to say whatever they want.
And I want really dumb athletes like Jokovich. I want them to be louder.
Yeah,

Speaker 4 Johnny Damon, who we were talking about earlier. I want them to be as loud as possible because it's funnier.
Yes, exactly.

Speaker 4 All right, so that was talking to us.

Speaker 4 Any Osako on? Hank's girl. Hank.

Speaker 4 Roll, you know what I mean. Like, he's a fan.
He's a fan. Hank.

Speaker 4 Yeah, sure. Okay.
Hell yeah. Nice.
Did Darren tweet anything about Novak being a bottom-tier human being?

Speaker 6 No, he posted a way too long Instagram story of his kid's birthday party.

Speaker 4 Wait, did you say his name? Oh, shit. Well, since you said his name, I just want to.
I should have to brand myself. I want to disagree with one thing.

Speaker 4 He was like, if the only reason you're getting into Bitcoin or top shot, is it top shot? Top shot?

Speaker 4 Those are the.

Speaker 6 You told us in the group shot not to talk about him.

Speaker 4 I know, but top shot,

Speaker 4 this is a different idea. Wait, is that my top-goff idea?

Speaker 4 No, no, it's like the hologram shot.

Speaker 4 There was a point made that, yeah, the top shot, the Bitcoin trading cards, if the only reason you're getting into it is a fear of missing out, that's the wrong reason. No, no, no, no.

Speaker 4 That's exactly right. That's the only reason to get in.
The only reason to get into all of these things is that you don't want to someday be pumping the gas for a fucking Bitcoin billionaire's boat.

Speaker 4 Yep, I don't want to be a sucker.

Speaker 4 I will freely admit, I do not understand what this top shot is. I don't think I ever will get it, but I do know that I'm going to pretend like I understand.
Correct.

Speaker 4 I just know that it's so advanced thinking that if I don't get it, I need to get behind the people that do get it.

Speaker 4 If fear of missing out isn't your main motivator to do pretty much anything in life you're not living a correct life it's therapeutic watching other people open packs of cards i don't get that i still don't i don't understand it's an asmr thing the sound is it the sound that you like or is it like i wonder what they're going to take out and just like also the

Speaker 4 i there's something hilarious i've watched a bunch of different people do it there's something just oddly therapeutic about someone being like all right and we have you know uh okay marvin jones and then we have a quentin nelson and ooh and then they stop at like a random card.

Speaker 4 We're like, ooh, Amari Cooper. Okay, that one's a keeper.
It's like, what? What are we talking about?

Speaker 4 Why?

Speaker 4 Who's deciding this? I like the moment Henry Ruggs and just going through it. The only part I like is the moment where they realize what they have before you see what they have.

Speaker 4 Yeah, like this is a cool prism. That's a cool moment, but I don't get the whole like,

Speaker 4 you don't watch another man open up packs of

Speaker 4 his own baseball cards. Yeah.
Like, what do you get out of that? I would actually like to, our good friend Tony Scheffler is actually a big card guy.

Speaker 4 We should probably get him back on to have him explain to us. He actually has like,

Speaker 4 he does it the way that I can understand because it's got a mix of gambling in it. Where he has,

Speaker 4 like, he was saying, like, oh, I have a bunch of Tom Brady rookie cards.

Speaker 4 I want him to win a Super Bowl here because then it's another, like, $5,000 card.

Speaker 4 We should do our own of those highlight things, the top shots. We should make part of my take top shots.
Yes. And mine them.

Speaker 4 I still don't don't understand what it is or how it works but i just know that like if they're doing it for zion what we should do it too correct maybe maybe me not farting would be worth a hundred thousand dollars one day

Speaker 4 or you farting two hundred thousand didn't fart uh right did you see the other video still is it still is it still happening between you two did you see the other video apparently the exact same fart sound effect turned up on a different barstool video that got put out like a year ago.

Speaker 4 I mean I have not heard that at all. You literally just made that up.
No, I didn't make what other videos

Speaker 4 are still happening. Yeah, I haven't like did you see the other video that I answered.
How would that amount come across my desk? Still have tension. Okay.

Speaker 4 That was

Speaker 4 a resounding yes.

Speaker 4 I thought you were talking about the other angles and when everyone was clearly like, oh, it's definitely PFT. His ass was closer to the microphone.

Speaker 4 I wish I had farted.

Speaker 4 I really do. All right, well, maybe Wednesday you guys will have cleared this up.
It's nothing better than a little fart tension. I'm going to fart on Hank.
Do it.

Speaker 4 I'll fart in his chair before the next podcast. Okay.
All right. You have a Monday reading for us.
I do. This is a great Monday reading.
Monday readings are back.

Speaker 4 This was on CNN Health.

Speaker 4 The headline is the new slang teen. The new slang teens use to insult boys who are too nice to girls.

Speaker 4 If you're guessing that this is about simping and the simping epidemic that's going on across America, you are 100% correct.

Speaker 4 Shannon was used to her socially awkward son being bullied by other boys at the private school he attends in Atlanta.

Speaker 4 But when she picked him up from school in mid-January and her eighth grader told her he was being called a simp, Shannon, who's only using her first name to protect her son's identity, yeah, great piece of parenting.

Speaker 4 You wrote an entire essay about your son being called a simp. Wait, didn't she just give us the location? Atlanta suburbs.
Shannon in Atlanta suburbs with eighth grader. Socially awkward

Speaker 4 eighth grade son at a private school. No one's going to figure this out.
Never, never. We probably have a shitload of eighth graders listening to this show right now.
Yeah, if you probably outed them.

Speaker 4 If your mom's name is Shannon and you live in Atlanta, like

Speaker 4 be like, be like, mom, you straight up, you outed me as a simp. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 4 He's telling me this. If this simp isn't an AWL, that would be a bad look for us.
It would. Disavowed.
He's telling me this, and I'm driving, and I'm trying to make sense of it, she said.

Speaker 4 I'd never heard the word. He told me it basically just means that I'm being too nice to girls because I like them.

Speaker 4 She said, I was like, wait, wait, my kid is being picked on for being nice to girls?

Speaker 4 No. I could understand maybe why a parent would get confused by that, but yeah,

Speaker 4 at the end of the day, that's essentially what it is.

Speaker 4 Like, I'll put it this way.

Speaker 4 Joseph in the Bible was world-class simp. Yeah.
They don't name any buildings after Joe.

Speaker 4 Joseph doesn't get shit. People forget about Joseph.
He was basically there to hold Mary's hand at birth.

Speaker 4 And then what? He did get a book, yeah. He did? He got it.
Is he the same as the Technicolor Dreamcoat guy?

Speaker 4 Yes, Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat. So he did get a sick coat.
He got a coat. He got a fucking coat.
He got a coat. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Okay, but yeah, like simping, it's not a new phenomenon, is what I'm getting at. Her son had told her recently he's recently been put in the friend zone by one of the girls.
Oh, no.

Speaker 4 Oh, my. Wait,

Speaker 4 if you're complaining to your mom that you're in the friend zone, that's like you're now actively simping your mom.

Speaker 4 Yeah, where's the dad here? Hmm. Let's see.
Let's see if we can get to it. Because this is, here's a quick, here's a quick way.

Speaker 4 If you're a parent, mom, if you're listening, Shannon, which I assume you are in AWO as well, when your son brings this up, you should just simply ask, well, is she going to fuck you?

Speaker 4 And if he says no, then yeah, he's a simp. Not going to fuck you, dude.
Yep.

Speaker 4 That's how it works. So you do all these things as a parent to raise your kid right, to be nice to everyone, especially kids without many friends, Shannon said.

Speaker 4 And you never think that by making your kid the nice one, you could be making them a target for bullies. Well, yeah, if you make your kid super nice, man,

Speaker 4 this is actually now bumming me out. Because as

Speaker 4 definitely doesn't have brothers.

Speaker 4 As a father, this is going to be my nightmare. Because, like, you do, like, raising your kid to be a good person is hard enough, and then they get bullied for being a simp.

Speaker 4 This could also be a product of being raised by a mom whose first instinct when her son is being

Speaker 4 showing simp-like tendencies at school is to write a letter to cnnhealth.com about his son. Yes.
So what is this kid definitely simps his mom? Yes. What is a simp?

Speaker 4 While many parents might be unfamiliar with the word simp, chances are your tween or teen has used or at least heard the term. Simp hashtags are rampant on TikTok.

Speaker 4 Instagram has over 350,000 posts tagged hashtag simp, and there are Facebook groups devoted to simps and simping. It can be a verb too.
I need to get into one of these Facebook groups that's

Speaker 4 simping. Simping ain't easy, but it's necessary.
Urban Dictionary's top definition of a simp is someone who does way too much for a person they like.

Speaker 4 Other definitions include a man who puts the hose before the bros and a guy that is overly desperate for women, especially if she is a bad person. Wait, say that first definition again?

Speaker 4 Hose before bros. No, no, no, the first definition.
Simply. Someone who does way too much for a person they like.
What's the opposite of that? I think the opposite of

Speaker 4 a a fuckboy. Is it a fuckboy? Fuckboy.
Or just you're a fuckboy. You do nothing for us and you don't really like us.

Speaker 4 I simp for you guys sometimes. When was the last time you simped for me, Billy? I would actually, you know what? Put that on your to-do list.
Simps. Simp for me and PFT once a week.
Straight up.

Speaker 4 I want you to straight up simp us. Okay.

Speaker 4 I used to simp so hard for you.

Speaker 4 Practice it.

Speaker 4 But I feel like you haven't simped for us in ages. Ages.
I've been busy. Okay, so make some time to simp for us.
We're growing up. I want one on Friday.
Every Friday show, I want one

Speaker 4 actual, tangible

Speaker 4 evidence of you simping for us.

Speaker 4 I think you look. No, Billy, don't you? No, you can't do this.
You can't do it like that. Don't do it.
You know what you should do?

Speaker 4 That hat looks amazing. Thank you, BF.
Thank you, Billy. On our anniversary, on our podcast anniversary on February 28th, 29th,

Speaker 4 you should simp us every year on our anniversary. Okay, yeah.
Keep things spicy.

Speaker 4 Simp is a slang person for a man who is desperate for attention and affection of someone else, typically a woman.

Speaker 4 Think the energy of a puppy dog eyes, but manifested in romantic human form. It's used in an insulting manner, though typically playful.
There are definitely undertones of toxic masculinity

Speaker 4 since it's related to showing too much emotion.

Speaker 4 Florida mother Karen McClung first encountered the word in group chats. She closely monitors with her 11-year-old daughter and 12-year-old son.

Speaker 4 I saw the word word and quickly looked it up, said McClung, who lives in Tampa.

Speaker 4 I asked my kids what they thought it meant, and my son said, it's basically if you had $1,000 and you could do anything with it, you'd use it to get the attention of a girl.

Speaker 4 Then everyone would make fun of you.

Speaker 4 That's pretty good. That's a good answer.
You got a really smart kid here. That kid, yeah, explained to us like we're a seventh grader.
That's it. And then McClung blocked the thread.

Speaker 4 While she said her son wasn't being called a simp in the thread, McClung said she's curious to see how it impacts my son because he's very chivalrous by nature.

Speaker 4 Oh,

Speaker 4 this is Buster Bluth. Yes.

Speaker 4 The mother boy. Yeah, the mother boy.
Yeah, absolutely. Girls in high school sometimes throw out the term to their high school girlfriends.

Speaker 4 Some kids I've talked to have said it's not a derogatory term. It's sort of like teasing someone.
Like, you've left us to go hang out with your friends. You're simping us.

Speaker 4 I actually don't think it's that bad. I simp so hard for Chipotle.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you do. You simply harder for Chipotle.
You simply

Speaker 4 than you do for us. The moral of the story is

Speaker 4 never show anything that you like any sort of respect or admiration. Teach this kid a little thing about irony.
Yeah. Okay.
You guys simp sports. We all simp sports.
Correct.

Speaker 4 Fellas, is it gay to tell a girl you like her? That's basically what this whole article should be called. Jake Simps Federer, fucking clown.

Speaker 4 Suck this dick.

Speaker 4 You do simp Federer. Hard.

Speaker 6 So simp is now just becoming fan.

Speaker 4 Who do you simp the most

Speaker 4 in the broadcasting world?

Speaker 4 Cecilian. Anyone who went to Syracuse.
No, no, no. Give us the number one simp.
Bob Costas? Kevin Harlow? I can't pick one. Give us the number one simp.
I can't pick one. Come on, shade.

Speaker 6 Everyone who's donated to our nice student radio station, given us opportunities throughout the years.

Speaker 4 Jesus Christ, you simp. Okay, so now there's kind of a spin zone to simping.

Speaker 4 One way to think of a simp, said Sean Davis, a marriage and family therapist in Sacramento, California, is simply someone who is ahead of their time.

Speaker 4 Though it hurts in the moment, in the big picture, a boy who is called a simp can wear it as a badge of honor. Wait, read that guy's title again? A marriage and family therapist in Sacramento.

Speaker 4 That guy gets paid way too much money for doing nothing. For basically being like, here's an acronym to remind you.
Simply ahead of their time.

Speaker 4 That guy is running an awesome scam. He's literally telling kids, like, if you get called a simp, that's actually really cool.
Yeah. that's the coolest thing.
That's simply fantastic.

Speaker 4 Yeah, and he's going to get a lot of kids a lot more beat up with that advice. Today's boys are being raised in the middle of the biggest redefinition of male gender roles in recent history.

Speaker 4 Should I be kind and sensitive or distant and aloof when trying to win a partner? Absolutely distant and aloof. Never tell anyone what you're really feeling.
Never text back.

Speaker 4 Heaven forbid you do cunalingus. Go to your biggest.
Go to your fucking deathbed without ever telling anyone what makes you happy. That's how you live.
That's how you get the most out of life.

Speaker 4 That's how you live a fucking life. Yeah.

Speaker 4 You want to make sure when you are gasping for your last breath, before you say, I can't believe we didn't have March Madness in 2020, you are telling everyone's like, someone brings you something.

Speaker 4 Like your wife of 70 years brings you

Speaker 4 a

Speaker 4 cookie and you're like, I never even like these.

Speaker 4 Send it back.

Speaker 4 This guy is great. So he has, he's got a tactic that he uses to, I guess he does simp conversion therapy.
Oh, this guy, like I said, it's the biggest scam artist ever. I could tell by the title.

Speaker 4 It's called the humor tool. So he invented jokes.
Okay. It's comic relief.
You practice not putting down the other person. You put down the situation.

Speaker 4 If someone is being called out for always simping the girls, he could turn it around and say, it's tough being the lone soldier simp nice guy. Who wants to join me?

Speaker 4 You can turn it and make it into comedy. What?

Speaker 4 That wasn't funny. It's not funny.

Speaker 4 All you have to say is simp and ain't easy. Simp and ain't easy.
Now give me that guy's fucking paycheck. That's it.
Seriously. Mm-hmm.
That's it. Like, that is all you have to say.

Speaker 4 Shannon said that her son's therapist advised similar tactics, but the boy said he only comes up with the perfect retort three hours later.

Speaker 4 What is he? George Kashmir. I mean, this kid is a simp.
I think parents simp their kids. Yeah, this is way too much.
Good point, Billy. Simp them kids.
That's on right. Good point.

Speaker 4 Where do they learn it? Yeah. Yeah, look at you.
Shannon cares way too much about her son's daughter. Uh-huh.

Speaker 4 You actually hug him and say you love him. I bet she lets him feed from her breasts.
Shannon's son definitely doesn't play football. Oh, I mean, Billy.
I knew his son.

Speaker 4 Billy's prescription, if Billy was a doctor, it would just be like meat. Violence.
Meat. Like contact sports.
Go outside, feel some pain, and then eat the flesh of something to absorb its power.

Speaker 4 I love that, like, we have sarcasm. We're being pretty, like, pretty, you know, obviously this is a ridiculous article.
And, and, and, you know, dripping with sarcasm.

Speaker 4 And Billy is like, actually, this kid needs to just get his fucking teeth kicked

Speaker 4 one time and he'll learn.

Speaker 4 It's been really heartbreaking because I know a lot of these boys bullying him. He's been at the school since second grade.

Speaker 4 She just continues to give details.

Speaker 4 This makes me sad. If their moms knew, they'd be horrified, but my son doesn't want me to tell them because it will just get worse.
As a father,

Speaker 4 this hurts me.

Speaker 4 Because I will fight. I will fight.
They're probably not even teasing him. They're just trying to get him to stop simping because they know he'll get hurt.

Speaker 4 And they can't show him too much love to try to get him to stop simping because then they become the simps. Okay, so here's the, is that the end of their article?

Speaker 4 All right, so here's the here's the solution, Shannon.

Speaker 4 Get him a prostitute.

Speaker 4 What? I'm being serious. Because then when everyone's like, hey, dude, you keep simping all these chicks, he'd be like, you know what else I've done? Fucked.

Speaker 4 And then

Speaker 4 game over. That is the end of the argument.
Game over. Seriously,

Speaker 4 obviously don't because, you know, it's a minor and all that blah, blah, blah, legalese. We're not trying to do Chris Delia or whatever the fuck.
That was a wild apology. Get him a Wayfair cabinet.

Speaker 4 Get him away.

Speaker 4 No. No.
No. No.
No.

Speaker 4 I didn't pick up on that right away. No, but yeah.

Speaker 4 No, you know what you should actually do? So don't do the prostitute. That's illegal.
Wrong. All those things.

Speaker 4 Send him to summer camp somewhere far away so he can make up a story about how he fucked. That's a good idea.
That's it right there.

Speaker 4 I would also say get him either like a guitar or some sort of painting kit because any child that's going through like emotional turmoil is probably going to end up being a good artist after it's all said and done.

Speaker 4 Or PS5. Yeah, PS5.

Speaker 4 Make sure he gets the first PS5.

Speaker 4 Yeah, just get him a Warzone login. Tell him to get on the sticks with us.

Speaker 4 We'll straighten him out real fast. God damn it.
That actually bummed me out, that article. Like thinking about parenting through TikTok and all this shit, I'm fucked.

Speaker 4 Yeah, what are you going to do about that? Are you going to block certain hashtags? I'm.

Speaker 4 I don't know. I don't want to.
If your son. I'll probably be dead by Kitty Stones.
Whatever.

Speaker 4 I will tell you if your son starts to show early signs of sipping.

Speaker 4 Damn it, man. This is going to be tough.
This is going to be tough. As a father, this is going to be tough.
I'm now scared. What I am.
Dude, this is a mess. Reading that,

Speaker 4 it's going to be way worse in 15 years. Like, the world's not going to be better.
You think we're trending up? Uh-uh. Yeah, we are.
No, we are. No, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no. We're trending up.

Speaker 4 I would be shocked if

Speaker 4 you're still around in 20 years. Our society is trending into the toilet.
So in 12 years, when my son has to go through middle school and high school, it is going to be a landmark.

Speaker 4 But in 20 years, that kid that bullied Cam Newton, that's going to be like the nicest kid in America. Yeah.

Speaker 4 No, but I'm just thinking, you know, the kids who were born after the internet, who grew up with the internet, who are used to the internet, they, I don't think... That's us.

Speaker 4 Not me. Not Big Cat.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Well, I even, like, you know, I remember like... No, you don't.
Yeah, I do. You remember life without the internet? Without iPhones.
That's different. That's a phone.

Speaker 4 Right, but the kids growing up with that, they're going to adapt. When did you get your first phone?

Speaker 4 I got a Nokia in

Speaker 4 third or fourth grade. But

Speaker 4 I took the subway. I took the first one.

Speaker 4 I got my first one when I was 18. No, no, I had a Nokia.
I just could make calls because I took the subway. Did you have Snake on it?

Speaker 4 When did you have social media? When did you get a Facebook? 13. Right.

Speaker 4 You had the Internet.

Speaker 4 I understand what you're saying. But the internet is a lot more prevalent and pervasive.

Speaker 4 I was born at the perfect time because I just didn't, like, you know, little kids who just watch iPads. You just said you had a fucking phone in third grade.

Speaker 4 Weren't you born in like September of 2001? No.

Speaker 4 No, like, literally. I was born January 13th, 1999.
Oh. Okay.
Okay. So.

Speaker 4 No, but like

Speaker 4 I did stupid shit like to entertain myself when I was little.

Speaker 4 Yeah, we know. I know.
You still do that. I know, but like, I wasn't one of these people.

Speaker 4 But, Billy, what you're saying right now is, like, you were, you were born into the internet. You're now changing it to be like, I was not ever like iPhones came out and it became super portable.

Speaker 4 But then, like, 20 years from now, people are gonna be like, oh, I wasn't even born into the internet because, like, I didn't get my first brain implant chipped right until I was in the middle of the day.

Speaker 4 No, I'm just saying that my generation still like knows how to entertain themselves without technology. That's not true.
That is 100%.

Speaker 4 You scroll your phone all the time. Yeah, because that'd be like me saying that.

Speaker 4 I'm on my phone all the time, too. No, but I can't entertain myself without my phone.
How? Jacking off. Lift?

Speaker 4 Like,

Speaker 4 what?

Speaker 4 Yeah. No, I mean, you do.
I like

Speaker 4 card games. You lift.
You know how to lift. Well, that's entertaining.
How many, but think about it. Think about it for a second.
In a given week,

Speaker 4 when you are not, don't do sleeping, obviously. Don't do driving.

Speaker 4 Everything else, how many times are you using some type of electronics? Whether it be playing video games on your phone, like it's the majority of the time. Does listening to music mount?

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 All the time. 90% of the day.
It's not a bad thing, but it is. What we're saying is our society.
Do you want to head into the tournament? You know what I've been doing recently?

Speaker 4 I've been not using the GPS because I heard that your brain atrophies from GPSs.

Speaker 4 Because you're navigational.

Speaker 4 You need to come on MacroDoss. You actually,

Speaker 4 I'm going to give you a nice compliment right here. You give us some type of line that always just tells me, all right, time for the show to be over.
Like, it's, you are a genius.

Speaker 4 You got to exercise the parts of your brain

Speaker 4 that get atrophy from your phone.

Speaker 4 Your hunter-gatherer instincts are getting destroyed by your phone. Wait, Hank, 17 is on the thing.
It's not in the thing.

Speaker 4 18.

Speaker 6 18.

Speaker 4 13.

Speaker 4 36.

Speaker 4 Fully sticks are made out of beef pizzle, which is really

Speaker 4 beef penis. Subscribe to Macro Dosing.
Love you guys. Shout out to Waylon

Speaker 4 Patagon for this on Instagram. Waylon2Ns

Speaker 4 Patagon for this Take On Me remix.

Speaker 4 Would have tried the Jankos that brought no luck. So he wore big pants to the Vegas Club.
Jumpsuit on, shades on his eyes. And now wants to know if he's a cowboy head guy.

Speaker 4 Looking like Kenny Chesney, drug dealer. Is that BFT or is that Rip Wheeler?

Speaker 4 Is

Speaker 4 PFT?

Speaker 4 Cowboy head guy. Right,

Speaker 4 but probably

Speaker 4 not.

Speaker 4 But gonna still try.

Speaker 4 Is

Speaker 4 me

Speaker 4 every

Speaker 4 day,

Speaker 4 a careful head guy,

Speaker 4 you're not a drug guy either.