Dungeons & Dragons, Drunk Tom Brady, And Russell Wilson Being A Weirdo

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Speaker 4 On today's part of my take, the return of Dungeons and Dragons, Tim Woods. it's great to have him back.
It is great to have our,

Speaker 4 what is it, epic?

Speaker 5 Is it an epic? It's a saga at this point. It's a saga.

Speaker 4 I need a saga. What's my saga?

Speaker 4 We jump back into the world of dragons. Awesome, awesome way to break up post-football life.
We also are going to do a little bit of Tom Brady

Speaker 4 being drunk and the Bucs boat parade. Russell Wilson probably wanting to get out of Seattle.
Every quarterback wants a trade at this point.

Speaker 4 And then Firefest of the week.

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Speaker 4 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 4 the song of work to be done.

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Speaker 4 Welcome to Part of My Tape presented by Verizon.

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Speaker 4 Go check it out right now. Today is Friday, February 12th, and Tom Brady has gotten drunk on a boat.
Gasp.

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 5 Hell yeah. Is Tom Brady a bad role model for getting that hammered and playing around with his participation trophy?

Speaker 5 It was

Speaker 5 awesome to see. I like seeing Tom Brady.
This is like his

Speaker 5 second going off to college where he gets to kind of go away from home for a while, get away from the taskmaster up in New England, just kind of cut loose for a couple of years. It was fun to see.

Speaker 5 And I love the knee brace. I love Tom Brady, like an offensive lineman wearing a preemptive knee brace during a football game.
He goes out and gets drunk and he puts a knee brace on before he does it.

Speaker 5 That's thinking ahead. That's the difference between him and all the other quarterbacks.

Speaker 4 Yes. And, you know, unless it's your rival that wins a championship.

Speaker 4 I think every fan can relate to just soaking up like the videos that come out, the drunk videos, the post-game celebrations, the celebrations on the field. I watch it all.
I love it all.

Speaker 4 I think it's the little boy in you that's like, oh, imagine if I were on a Super Bowl winning team, like, how sick would this be?

Speaker 4 I, there's something about all these videos that just, it's, it's why we watch sports. It's why we enjoy sports.
So I, I thought the, the boat videos were hilarious.

Speaker 4 The, I, I mean, I think it's very funny, though, that like Kronk and Brady have had so many Lombardi trophies that they they just can manhandle that trophy because they're just so used to it it's so like they they toss that thing around i saw a gronk swinging it around and i was thinking to myself what happens if this like does it float i don't think it floats so it like remember when gronk uh put a big dent in it when he when he swung it as a bat it's it's so they're so normal the lombardi trophy so normalized for them that it just becomes a party accessory yeah they've just got them laying around their house they're probably sick of them they don't have anywhere to put them anymore.

Speaker 5 You can't fit seven Lombardi trophies in a room besides your living room, probably. And then your wife is like, hey, can we move these somewhere else?

Speaker 5 It's a little bit gauche to have all your awards out here.

Speaker 5 It's crazy. They've won seven, our Brady's won seven trophies.

Speaker 5 Somebody pointed out on Twitter earlier today that the odds of Tom Brady winning a Super Bowl are about the same as the odds of Steph Curry hitting a three-pointer. Jesus.
In any given season. Like

Speaker 5 him taking one shot from three is about the same at the start of the year as Tom Brady winning the Super Bowl. That's that's crazy to me.

Speaker 4 The other take I had from the boat parties is,

Speaker 4 and I've said this before, most notably when we had Jared Goff in the van a couple of years ago, but whenever I see athletes like that are just in great shape wearing t-shirts, I'm like, man, I wish I could look that good in a t-shirt.

Speaker 4 It must be so cool to just be like, I'm going to throw on a t-shirt and look awesome.

Speaker 4 They all look just so like Tom Brady looked awesome in just a regular t-shirt because they all have great bodies and that's i i'm i'm comfortable saying that i'm very jealous of every athlete who just walks around in a t-shirt and looks awesome yeah i i mean him being on a boat wearing a t-shirt and looking the best of anybody on a boat when that's normally a shirt off occasion it's not fair he was wearing not fair he's wearing an orange t-shirt like ray-bands i wouldn't be surprised if that t-shirt costs like 750

Speaker 4 yeah backwards hat yeah makes it look cool i wear a backwards hat my face looks fat. Like, fuck this.
Yeah. I need my hair to give me volume.

Speaker 5 Are you getting jealous, Hank? Like, watching Gronk and Brady have such a good time down there?

Speaker 4 Yeah, I mean, a little bit, but you know, I'm happy for him at the end of the day. I do have one question for you, though, PFT.

Speaker 5 Okay.

Speaker 4 As someone who's made a career out of purposely spelling things wrong.

Speaker 5 What do you mean?

Speaker 4 Do you think that Tom Brady's tweet was a drunk tweet or he did that on purpose to make it seem like a drunk tweet?

Speaker 5 Okay. So I'm very woke about the drunk Tom Brady tweet thing thing because i think it was on purpose because it had like mr

Speaker 5 capital letters here yep he was having fun with the fact that people thought he was too hammered to walk after he got off the boat that guy i don't know who it was that was escorting tom brady he just the backup qb brady just always attracts like different wes welkers to be around him at all times that guy looked like a it was ryan griffin yeah He looked like a six foot four Wes Welker, and he was just like holding on to Tom Brady.

Speaker 5 I think they were doing it as a joke.

Speaker 5 I think the guys were like, hey, let's pretend that tom you're so hammered that you can't walk i'm gonna hold you and walk with you tom brady saw that clip go viral tom brady has gotten so good at the internet in the last three years that you know this dude was out there with multiple burners before he ever officially grabbed the at tom brady handle i think he was with everybody i i actually thought the minute i saw it i was like tom come on dude we we we did the spongebob meme reply like two years ago i thought that's what he was trying to do with the with the weirdly capitalized letters.

Speaker 4 The best part about that clip, though, was two things. One is Tom Brady wearing a knee brace while partying.

Speaker 4 I will absolutely admit that I've worn an ankle brace while partying before because sometimes you're like, you know what? I don't know what this day's, where this day is going to take me.

Speaker 4 I just want to make sure I don't come out of it injured.

Speaker 4 And then the reporter who screamed out a question while Tom Brady was clearly blacked out drunk and was like, hey, Tom, hey, Tom, how awesome was that?

Speaker 4 I was like, that's exactly exactly what I would ask. Good job.
We didn't get the question in.

Speaker 5 Tom, talk about the party today. How are you feeling? What are your thoughts?

Speaker 4 One other note: our man, Playoff Lenny, maybe the greatest follower on Twitter right now. He was drunk tweeting from the boat, talking about JPP's

Speaker 4 hands.

Speaker 4 And I went and I follow him on Instagram now. And his Instagram stories were so funny.

Speaker 4 Just essentially, every, he was just a bunch of videos of JPP and Leonard Playoff Lenny being like, how are you holding your phone right now? How is it? How hasn't it dropped out of your hands?

Speaker 5 Yeah, no, it was awesome. He was made, he made like two jokes about his fingers within the first 20 minutes.
Like, playoff Lenny has been waiting all season to be able to uncork these.

Speaker 5 He's had them stored up. I bet you his draft folder is just full of hands jokes.
And I mean, he's an easy target because what's he going to tweet back at you?

Speaker 5 It's going to take him like 60 seconds longer to fire something off. He has to do like the hunt and peck method with his index finger.

Speaker 5 It's very funny to watch Lenny go off.

Speaker 4 And it was also very clear watching the mic'd up Super Bowl video that like they all love playoff Lenny so, so much.

Speaker 4 He was the guy that they were all rooting for when he would get carries or get a big play. It was very, very clear, like just watching that and watching the mic'd up on the sidelines.

Speaker 5 Oh, one person that did feel very envious of Tom Brady was LeBron James. Yeah.
LeBron was like, he was so jealous that he didn't get to get that drunk after his playoff win.

Speaker 5 And he was probably drunk when he was tweeting at Tom Brady.

Speaker 5 I did see that like during the Super Bowl, LeBron was tweeting at Brady saying like, hey, just goat talk respect as the greatest of all time. So he's moved on from dad to dad.

Speaker 5 Now he's going goat to goat with Tom Brady. But he was, he was so, so jealous that he couldn't be as hammered as Tom was after his big win.

Speaker 5 So one day, LeBron, we'll schedule, just take like a day midsummer. You know what? Instead of attending the all-star game, just get hammered and just walk around your neighborhood.

Speaker 5 Throw yourself your own parade.

Speaker 4 Yeah. And it's actually actually very relatable for him to be that drunk.
Like we had when we had talked to Brooks on Wednesday.

Speaker 4 Like we watched these guys play, we watched these athletes perform, but at the end of the day, they still get, they want to get just as drunk as us and have a good time.

Speaker 4 So it was pretty cool to watch.

Speaker 4 The other news we had, quarterback news, Russell Wilson seemingly wants to be out of Seattle. So Russell Wilson did.

Speaker 4 Let me start with this way.

Speaker 4 Is there anyone who's more coordinated with their media onslaught than Russell Wilson? When he does his media, like, do you think his PR team thinks they're being sneaky?

Speaker 4 He did this a few years ago when I think he went on Fallon or something, basically negotiating for his new contract.

Speaker 4 This time around, he goes on Dan Patrick's show a couple of days ago, essentially says he's sick of getting sacked.

Speaker 4 And then today comes out a GQ piece, which was, I don't know if you read it, but it was banana land.

Speaker 4 It was he and he and CR are trying to come across as the relatable married couple who are just trying to

Speaker 4 have their relationship out there. And it was the quote that when I read it, it said,

Speaker 4 they talking about Ciara and Russell Wilson, they take the challenge of the perfection projected onto them by others and say, okay, sometimes they speak like the victorious teammates they are giving post-game press conferences at the lectern of life.

Speaker 4 We're just grateful that we get to spend time together every day. Wilson says, every morning we wake up together, it's a blessing.

Speaker 4 and we get to smile from ear to ear and know that you know what let's go let's go do this talking about their marriage i

Speaker 4 i'm going to take back everything i said about russell wilson he's no longer corny this is just who he is and uh i i think his i think he just doesn't have any sense of reality so it's not even like it's not even worth being like hey man come back come back to reality he's he's gone he's long gone this is just him so this was one of my favorite quotes from the article it says or this is russ wilson talking about just being in love just love.

Speaker 5 It's always a blast that we get to do love together, Wilson says.

Speaker 5 He's in his hyperbaric chamber, laid back on a pillow, the white tent around him, gently wheezing inside.

Speaker 5 Like there's nothing, there's nothing relatable at all in this article, but I actually think that for celebrity couples to work, you actually both have to be weird as hell.

Speaker 4 Yes. Helps.

Speaker 5 Because if it's just, if somebody's too normal in a celebrity relationship, like Sierra, if she was just like married to a normal dude, she couldn't be like, hey, honey, can you change your kids?

Speaker 5 I've got to go scotch tape my dress to my nipples while 3 million guys jack off to me at this award ceremony. Like it doesn't work.

Speaker 5 You have to have two different parts of crazy in a celebrity relationship, I think, to actually

Speaker 5 make it work in the long run. And they're definitely both crazy in their own ways.

Speaker 4 They're both crazy. And I just don't buy it.
I don't buy it. Like, I'm sorry.

Speaker 4 I'm sure they have a great relationship.

Speaker 4 It seems like they work on it, great communication, but you just can't, you can't tell me that at the end of the night, like if Russell Wilson rips a fucking fart in bed and CR is trying to fall asleep and catches a whiff, she's not like, what the fuck, dude?

Speaker 4 Like they fight. They fight just like when Russell Wilson wants to go play golf

Speaker 4 and like there's three kids like screaming and crying at the at the breakfast table. You can't tell me that doesn't start a fight.
That's what that's what baffles me with pieces like this.

Speaker 4 It's okay to say that, you know, marriage is hard and there are relatable moments in this where we do fight or we don't communicate instead of being like, yeah, every morning I get in my hyperbolic chamber and she sits next to me and we're never, we're never in the, you know,

Speaker 4 you know, in a different room. And every time we're away from each other, we FaceTime date and all this shit.
Get out of here. Just stop.
You don't need to be perfect.

Speaker 4 No one expects anyone to be perfect anymore when it comes to celebrity couples. I also did love the new introvert extrovert.
People who are like, oh, I'm an introvert and extrovert.

Speaker 4 You know, like sometimes I like to sit on my couch, sometimes I like to go to a rave is Ciara saying, I'm such a homebody, Ciara says, but I also was very blessed to travel the world. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah. You know, you're a real homebody.

Speaker 5 I'm the kind of guy that can either like go to

Speaker 5 Burning Man for six days and trip balls on LSD or just sit on the couch and watch Netflix. That's kind of me.
I'm just kind of one of those weird guys like that.

Speaker 4 But here's where

Speaker 4 it ties back to football.

Speaker 4 It's pretty clear, reading between the lines, both Russell Wilson on the Dan Patrick show, and then in this article, if you notice the part where Siara's like, you know, I've had to really work hard to love Seattle.

Speaker 4 And, like, what are the, what's those things? Like, I think the quote was, I've had a lot of lake experiences.

Speaker 5 Yeah, she was like,

Speaker 5 I've had a lot of lake experiences. There's a lot of, it's rainy here, but there's, there's some sneaky natural beauty that comes out of a place like this.

Speaker 4 It was painful for her to say, like, say three nice things about Seattle, Siara. And I just think this is all calculated to either get more money or ready for this, become the starting quarterback for

Speaker 4 the Dallas Cowboys.

Speaker 5 Interesting. Interesting.
And you know what happened just like two days ago? Dak Prescott said, I'm not happy because I wasn't featured in the team montage video they just put out.

Speaker 4 That was like

Speaker 5 three days ago. Yeah.

Speaker 4 And if we're doing like serendipity in terms of doing our boomers on Sunday nights the next fall, the Rain City Dax really works. Oh, that does.
Yes.

Speaker 4 Fuck yes. It's all coming together.
Maybe they figure out a way to get Dak to Seattle and Russ to Dallas.

Speaker 5 Yeah, Russell Wilson's war, the Texas Congressman lobbing missiles, throwing bombs.

Speaker 4 I'm just saying, it's just

Speaker 4 going to be very interesting where all the chips fall here because you have obviously Deshaun Watson's out there, Carson Wentz, which it seems like we, the

Speaker 4 uh,

Speaker 4 Twitter like

Speaker 4 news that came out last week was maybe a little, it was pushed a little bit hard by some people who weren't as in the know as they thought they were.

Speaker 4 Because now that we've get the dust has settled a little, it looks like the Colts have offered a couple second rounders, maybe, which seems like the fair price.

Speaker 4 Like if the Bears want to offer a second and third rounder for Carson Wentz, I'm cool with that to take a shot.

Speaker 4 I've always just been, if they offer him a first round or maybe even two first rounders, what the fuck are they doing?

Speaker 4 so it you got carson wentz you got uh deshaun watson now maybe russell wilson it's jameis winston mitch trubiski i'm gonna throw out some more pro bowl names out there um there's gonna be a lot of quarterback movement so with russell wilson it was it was interesting how it worked out because the story was that russell wilson not happy with uh the Seattle team's front office.

Speaker 5 And then the Seahawks leaked a story like two days later. They're not happy with Russell Wilson being not happy.
So now it's just a big, like circular, we're not happy with each other moment.

Speaker 5 I think Russell's probably trying to get more money or at least maybe pressure them into drafting or

Speaker 5 signing some free agent offensive linemen as opposed to just building him out of the fart from Tom Cable and some duct tape and some wire and string and shit.

Speaker 5 But I think that I think Wilson's going to stick around in Seattle. It's going to be tough to pull Ciara away from the natural beauty of Seattle.
She loves it up there.

Speaker 4 She does.

Speaker 5 So

Speaker 5 I heard that that when the Eagles were saying, like, they were the connection was going to Chicago that the Bears were going to pay like a first-round pick and a second-round pick for Wentz.

Speaker 5 I think it's just all the Eagles leaking that stuff out on their own.

Speaker 5 Because there's also reports being like, the Eagles feel like they're not getting enough value in terms of their offers for Carson Wentz. And it's just them trying to drive their own price up.

Speaker 5 I think they might have leaked that Bears story just to get other people to bid on it to drive up the price.

Speaker 4 And Ryan Pace is dumb enough that he'd be like, wait, I offered how much? maybe I should sweeten the pot here.

Speaker 5 Yeah, let's get this done now.

Speaker 5 Three first-round picks if we get it done now, yes. Uh, what one other thing, though, reading that article in GQ, which was insane, and the picture spread is almost crazier than the article itself.

Speaker 5 Um, I think, I think Russell Wilson is one of those guys who's so 100% sober that he just acts drunk,

Speaker 5 like almost like a dude perfect type guy who just like they get so into like being like optimizing every second of their life that they overdo it.

Speaker 5 Like you would not expect a sober person in the dude perfect analogy to be like, I bet you I can knock that drone out of the sky if I light this tennis ball on fire and then hit it with a lightsaber.

Speaker 5 Like this is, this is the product of idle hands. And a sober mind is really the devil's playground.

Speaker 4 Well, it's the old Brian Cox. Never trust a man without a vice.
I think Russell Wilson's vice is being like

Speaker 4 as big of a goober as he possibly can be like his he gets he's addicted to saying cliches and being overly nice and having everyone think that you know it actually now that i'm i'm like playing it all out in my head we like jj watt like we went after the wrong guy russell wilson is is jj watt to to a millionth degree like jj after we met him and since we've gotten to know him like yeah he even admitted he he sometimes he will try to be captain America, but he's a normal dude, he really is like, he's a normal dude, you know, and he's just trying to do his best.

Speaker 4 Russell Wilson truly does think he is Captain America,

Speaker 4 yeah,

Speaker 4 verbal meme. That's the same thing,

Speaker 5 different,

Speaker 4 no, same, but different.

Speaker 4 No, no, they are same, no, not at all, they're not at all. JJ Watt, you can know the same thing.
No, no, JJ Watt is a normal person when you break it down.

Speaker 4 Like after we met him, and when he like kind of copped to like, ah, you know, like, I tried a little too hard sometimes. Like, he, JJ Watt is just very nice.

Speaker 4 And he's, he's, he, that, Russell Wilson is nice and he thinks he's solving the world's problems. And you also think he was like, I think he probably thinks he's a prophet.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 No, he doesn't know. I disagree.
I disagree.

Speaker 5 Hank, JJ Watt is Jim.

Speaker 4 Listen, no. I wish we could have won more for you this year, Deshaun.
No, he doesn't know.

Speaker 5 I agree with Big Cat 100%. JJ Watt,

Speaker 4 you just, that's just because JJ Watt, like, he came around.

Speaker 5 Just because we got to know him.

Speaker 4 and yeah, yes, yeah, we know more about his. I'm sure if you got to know Russell Wilson, I guarantee you, if we got to know Russell Wilson, it'd be the exact same person.
Yep, this is

Speaker 4 a G G GQ piece where he's supposed to be showing like the inside of their relationship, and it could have been more cliche and bullshit.

Speaker 4 Yeah, but that's also, there's probably some Sierra element of like,

Speaker 5 why are you standing Russell Wilson so hard?

Speaker 4 Yeah, like the fact that you're not named after two different people. Oh, you think he's going to go to the Patriots?

Speaker 4 No, I just, it's the same picture.

Speaker 5 No, it's not.

Speaker 4 No way. Uh-uh.

Speaker 5 Hey, Hank, do you remember this? I don't think that JJ Watt would ever do something like this.

Speaker 5 Back on, it was a Woman Crush Wednesday.

Speaker 5 Russell Wilson got on Twitter, wrote a poem for Ciara and said, I kissed her. She had honey, sweet lips that were lilac soft with a loving and affectionate personality.
And then he tagged Siara.

Speaker 5 He just googled how to describe a beautiful woman. Somebody typed in Google, how to describe a beautiful woman.
That's the line that came up. He just like ripped it off of a search.

Speaker 5 And JJ Watt would never do that. JJ Watt would write a like extremely long, embarrassing love letter to her mom and be like, thank you for raising such a beautiful woman.

Speaker 5 He would not copy and paste it. It's totally different.

Speaker 4 Hank, I'm going to send you a video after this because I couldn't make fun of it in the moment. And I still probably can't make fun of it because

Speaker 4 it was Russell Wilson after a game, I think it was after they clinched the NFC West.

Speaker 4 he put on a Kobe jersey and did a like 10-minute video in the end zone of in Seattle being like, this one was for Kobe.

Speaker 4 And like, I was thinking about Kobe when I was throwing these touchdown passes in like black and white. Do you remember watching that? That was

Speaker 4 insane, dude. That was insane.
That video was insane.

Speaker 4 10% luck, 20% scale.

Speaker 4 No, that's

Speaker 4 vibes out. He was vibing out.
Totally different.

Speaker 4 The fact that you can't see this the difference actually make like you don't understand the human element you don't understand human beings and and personalities

Speaker 5 what are you doing you don't hank hank is short-circuiting i what i don't i don't get this hank like it's very clear the difference jg they're jj are no

Speaker 4 no that's no that's it they're a little they're a little cheesy i bet russ wilson i'll put it this way russell wilson would be a great stay-at-home guy cooler he would be

Speaker 4 shut up, Hank. Shut up.
Quarterbacks are. There's no way you could have a real conversation with Russell Wilson.
No. You could absolutely have a conversation with JJ Watt.

Speaker 4 Hank, we know,

Speaker 4 we've met celebrities before. You know, the celebrities that are like, even when you're just sitting there having a conversation, it's like they can't turn it off.
JJ Watt could turn it off.

Speaker 4 I mean,

Speaker 4 I think Russell Wilson probably could too, but I think they're an equal. Like, you guys are giving JJ Watt a little too much credit, I think.
I am.

Speaker 5 But we're comparing him to Russell Wilson. It's it's actually pretty obvious that JJ Watt is half human.

Speaker 5 Russell Wilson is just like, I don't know if he's a robot or a computer program, whatever he is, he's not halfway as cool as JJ Watt.

Speaker 4 I like JJ Watt, I like JJ Watt.

Speaker 5 JJ's he's a good person, I think. JJ Watt, uh, JJ Watts.

Speaker 4 Like, I don't dislike JJ Watt. That's not that's all I'm saying.
I'm just saying they're both fucking cornballs.

Speaker 5 JJ's Jimmy Carter and Russell Wilson's Pete Buttigieg.

Speaker 4 That's i don't understand that those are sick political references i don't understand

Speaker 4 all right that was a good discussion though i was i mean just watch that video though the kobes i threw it for kobes i was thinking i think he even said like when i went back in the in the huddle and i went back and threw that touchdown i was thinking kobe

Speaker 4 JJ watt at the end of the season when all the cameras were on went up to Deshaun Watson said I wish we could have won more for you man that was actually real there happened to be a camera behind the camera yes the camera but Hank the difference is JJ knows when the cameras are there, of course, but he didn't do a 10-minute video about it.

Speaker 4 Like, being like, man, I was 10% locked 20% skill. He went after practice and went to the house.
That was hard knocks.

Speaker 4 And he admitted that that was corny. He admitted that was corny.

Speaker 5 That actually was how he's four years old.

Speaker 4 You should rest the case there. He admitted to us that that was corny.
And that way, he cringes when he looks at that.

Speaker 4 If you showed Russell Wilson his videos, post-game videos, where he's like doing a monologue, he'd be like, yeah, that's fucking sweet.

Speaker 4 Dude, he sends hype videos to his kids every day. That's cool.
No, hold on.

Speaker 4 You're gonna do that too one day, big cat. Just wait.

Speaker 5 Actually, there's a sound pretty cool sitting in hype up videos.

Speaker 4 Yeah, except that's a dad. That's a dad move.
That's the other thing. JJ Watt's not a dad yet.
Wait till, like, you don't think he's gonna turn. Oh, you think that's you think that's what it is?

Speaker 4 The corn levels once he becomes a father. Oh, my God.
All right. Let's get to

Speaker 4 Dungeons and Dragons. Oh, one other thing, football thing.

Speaker 4 I now am fully changing my take on Urban Meyer.

Speaker 4 I think he's going to be very successful in Jacksonville because Urban Meyer hiring Chris Doyle and being like, fuck you, world, it clearly is Urban Show.

Speaker 4 That tells me right there, this is Urban's show. He gets to call the shots.
He hired a dude who was fired like six months ago for very racist things in Iowa.

Speaker 4 And that to me like says that Urban is going to just, because if there's ever a person who will just hire based on how they can get their team to like closer to winning and nothing else with character, it's Urban Meyer.

Speaker 4 And this hire right here tells me that he has carte blanche with who he wants to hire, who he wants to bring in to just win football games.

Speaker 5 That's that's fine. But you remember there was another famous college coach that tried doing this like my way of the highway thing back when he went to the NFL.
It didn't work out for him, Nick Sabin.

Speaker 5 The players fucking hated Nick Sabin in the NFL. It's a little bit different.
It's a little bit different.

Speaker 4 This isn't my my way of the highway.

Speaker 5 No, no, I'm saying, like, I understand your point of view, which is Urban Meyer is saying, I'm calling the shots. This is my program.
And there's nobody checking him.

Speaker 5 So he's going to do everything that he possibly can to win. What I'm saying is that the person that he's bringing in

Speaker 5 might have been effective when talking to student athletes in college. When you're talking to millionaires in the NFL, it might not fly the same way.

Speaker 4 But

Speaker 4 by all accounts, he's a phenomenal strength and conditioning coach. And what it tells me is less like, I don't think Urban's going to tell everyone it's my way or the highway.

Speaker 4 What that hire said to me was Urban Meyer is back in terms of he will hire whoever he has to hire to win football games.

Speaker 4 And they could be terrible people, but it doesn't matter because all he cares about is winning football.

Speaker 5 So I mean, I hear that, but I can also see like a first-time NFL coach.

Speaker 5 that's a big shot used to not having anybody check him ever and being you know the warlord of whatever college town they're in at any given time, coming to the NFL and realizing pretty quickly, wow, I can't tell everybody how to do everything all the time.

Speaker 4 So we flip takes.

Speaker 5 We just take swapped. Yeah, take swapped.

Speaker 4 Okay, we're freaky Friday take swap.

Speaker 4 We ended up on other sides of the table. All right.

Speaker 5 Guess what? This is beautiful because now we can both be right no matter what happens.

Speaker 4 Both right, both wrong. No matter what happens.

Speaker 5 No, no, we'll ignore the wrong parts. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 All right. Let's get to Dungeons and Dragons with Tim Woods.

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Speaker 4 All right, here he is, Tim Woods.

Speaker 4 Okay, it is time. We are going to continue our journey on Dungeons and Dragons.
We have our favorite person in the entire world, Tim Wood, back with us.

Speaker 4 Tim, great to see you.

Speaker 8 It's a pleasure to be here.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I wish we were all together, but we can't be right now, but let's do it. The people have been clamoring for it.

Speaker 4 And we said as soon as football ends, we're going to get back into Dungeons and Dragons. So can we get a refresher of where we are?

Speaker 4 in general in terms of our journey and who's alive and basically a quick background for everyone in case they forget, which we all forget.

Speaker 8 Absolutely. Of course, it's been a long time since our last game.
So, to get us caught up on where we kind of left off in our story, in the real world, of course, we were finishing up the Super Bowl.

Speaker 8 But in the world of Dungeons and Dragons, we had just been learning about the upcoming Dragon Bowl, the competition between groups of dragons where they sometimes compete in the skies in order to decide who will be the greatest team of 11 dragons to compete in the Dragon Bowl.

Speaker 8 And we had discovered that in addition to two dragons that we're now hanging out with kind of near the town of El Torel, we had set up camp and discovered that there were two dragons whose attention we had gotten.

Speaker 8 A evil green dragon whose name is Nyalaptia. Naya, we can call her for short.
She kind of was chasing us and then with the help of our wizards and our weapons, we had managed to take her down.

Speaker 8 She surrendered and then let us know that she could help us in the raising of the dragon eggs that we had acquired from the dragon hatchery at the end of one of our recent adventures.

Speaker 8 We have a total of eight dragon eggs that we had acquired, and Nihalaptia, the green dragon, was going to help us, but she's an evil dragon.

Speaker 8 Luckily, there had been a human woman who had shown up who turned out to be a silver dragon named Elia in disguise. So now these two dragons have been kind of taking care of...

Speaker 8 care of the eggs for us and kind of as the months have gone by i would let us know that the first exciting detail is that all eight of our eggs have hatched now so there have been these young dragons who have been growing up around us very game of thrones style and I would just want to let us know a little bit about these newborn dragons who are going to be our upcoming team as it were we've got a red blue and a green dragon we've also got two black and two white dragons who have hatched and one multicolored dragon a prismatic rainbow dragon has hatched And in theory, the prismatic and the blue dragon were the only two male dragons.

Speaker 8 The rest were all female, except for one of the white dragons turned out to be born as non-binary.

Speaker 8 So they are in theory all hatched now and they are fighting amongst themselves and kind of like clawing and playing with each other. And they are very, very hard to manage.

Speaker 8 But all these newborn dragons are very excited for the upcoming Dragon Bowl.

Speaker 8 I don't know if we wanted to take any time naming any of these dragons or talking about how we are going about raising these these dragons as proud new fathers of a dragon brood. Yeah.

Speaker 8 A lot of work to do to take care of these dragons.

Speaker 5 So I'm thinking maybe the three different color dragons can be Mellow, Leangelo, and

Speaker 5 who's the third?

Speaker 8 Well, we've got a red, blue, and a

Speaker 4 Lonzo. Lonzo.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I forget about Lonzo. The best one.
So Lonzo, Leangelo, and Mellow, maybe for those three.

Speaker 8 Absolutely. So Mello, L'Angelo, and Lonzo will be the green, blue, and red dragons, respectively.
That sounds fantastic. Excellent.

Speaker 8 And they are some of the strongest of the dragons that have hatched, actually.

Speaker 8 The red dragon is in theory the fire-breathing dragon, who is the strongest among our hatchlings, with the exception of the prismatic dragon. We don't really know anything about prismatic dragons.

Speaker 8 And this guy's pretty strong, it looks like.

Speaker 4 I'm going to do for the for the two black and two white, I'm going to do a callback for people who have been listening to part of my take for all five years.

Speaker 4 So I want the two black dragons to be skip one and skip two, and the two white dragons to be Stephen A one and Stephen A two. Those are our formerly deceased frogs that we have.

Speaker 4 How about Stephen A and Stephen B?

Speaker 4 Stephen A and Stephen B. There we go.
Yeah. All right.

Speaker 8 Absolutely. You got Stephen A and Stephen B for the white dragons and skip one and skip two for the black dragons.
Love that. Absolutely.

Speaker 4 Perfect. And do we

Speaker 4 for the multicolor, we should just well, I guess we got to figure out what we're going to do to it. I was going to say, let's name it Jose Conseco and kill it right now.

Speaker 5 I mean, it seems like it's pretty jacked up, it seems big, right? Like maybe a steroid dragon, the rock.

Speaker 4 It does seem like

Speaker 8 Dwayne powered by magic.

Speaker 4 What about Dwayne? Dwayne's a great name.

Speaker 5 It's powered by magic. We could go with Blaine.

Speaker 4 Oh, or Irvin.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's true. Let's go, Irvin.
Magic. Yeah.
All right. Irvin will be be our multi-rin, multi-color one.

Speaker 8 I love it,

Speaker 8 the prismatic dragon. Love that.
So, we've got names for all of our dragons.

Speaker 8 You can see that Nihilaptia and Elia are raising their eyebrows, but just shrugging their shoulders as we give these names out.

Speaker 8 The dragons seem to love them, and they are definitely like flying all around us, landing on our shoulders. They are affectionately treating us like their parents, for better or worse.

Speaker 8 And it does seem like this is a good team to get ready for the Dragon Bowl.

Speaker 8 But Nihilaptia and Elia, who have kind of become the den mothers here, they are letting us know that if we're going to get this team ready for the Dragon Bowl, there's going to be a couple of steps we're going to need to go through.

Speaker 8 And the first thing they want to let us know is that there is one entity in particular who approves teams for submission into the Dragon Bowl.

Speaker 8 It is a powerful undead wizard known as a Lich who lives at the top of a mountain. All teams who make it into the Dragon Bowl are approved by him.

Speaker 8 And if you're even going to meet with this lich, you have to offer a gift. And the Green Dragon explains that she hands us a ruby, a massive ruby.

Speaker 8 She says that this ruby is what you're going to offer the lich, but it's empty right now.

Speaker 8 What needs to be contained in this ruby if you are going to make this lich happy and get our team entrance into the Dragon Bowl is you are going to need to store inside of this gemstone the soul of your most powerful nemesis and enemy.

Speaker 8 And then they look at Blake the Griffin and Coach O, who are still hanging, sir, O, who are still hanging out with us right now.

Speaker 8 And Blake the Griffin burps, and a little piece of a helmet comes out of his mouth. And he says, Ah, I think I already took care of their greatest enemy.

Speaker 8 And the dragons explain that's no problem because if the soul of Berserker Billy is missing, they know how to go and get it.

Speaker 9 They have found out through magic that his soul is is currently bound in one of the nine hells known as a burnace, where apparently, according to their magic, all they know for sure is that right now, berserker Billy is locked in combat with some sort of a fiend in a never-ending battle that goes on for eternity.

Speaker 9 And that fiend is simply known by the title of the chemist. That's all everybody knows

Speaker 9 their name as.

Speaker 4 Okay, interesting.

Speaker 5 So so billy is locked in a eternal battle with the chemist i was going to say sobriety but that's fine because the chemist as well uh works um i think we just i think we just let billy fight it out just for eternity this way do you think now pft do you think though billy's not here because he told us two minutes before everyone who who says we're mean to billy billy told us two minutes before we were supposed to tape that he can't make it um so i'll just ask you pft instead yeah what do you think what do you think billy's mindset would be going against the chemist so like legitimately going into the chemist like i was i thought he was going to be bigger than billy but uh it turns out that billy actually had reach on him so he's like a little bit longer arms um but legitimately you have to get yourself in the mindset of like i'm going to kill him i'm going to kill him like i was i i would be ready to kill him if i was billy and legitimately like he hit me and uh legitimately like i swung back at him and i i beat the out or he like you say took it but like legit i was ready to murder the guy

Speaker 4 perfect that's the thank you i feel like billy went into your body to get us that answer i started i started to feel the spirit and had to testify i was like

Speaker 5 in a pentecostal church yeah yes

Speaker 8 for a moment you were possessed by this the the undead spirit of billy for sure in fact they did a little spell he channeled through your mouth and you're hearing a little bit of this fight happening somewhere in the nine hells uh you are definitely aware he is locked in combat with the chemist and the chemist seems like he's putting up a decent fight right now, at least.

Speaker 4 Okay. Okay, great.
So what do we do now?

Speaker 8 Now, the dragons explain they can open a portal for us right now if we are ready.

Speaker 9 And if we pass through this portal, we will end up in the nine hells in avernus specifically, the top layer of the nine hells, and we'll be face to face with the tower of the chemist.

Speaker 9 So if we want to do anything beforehand, we can get ready. But otherwise, they can open up the portal for us right now and we can jump through and be on our way to the Tower of the Chemist.

Speaker 4 Let's fucking do it, right? Let's go full send on their ass. Yeah,

Speaker 9 Ellia kind of crosses her arms like she doesn't like this devilish magic. However, I point out that Hank, your warlock Ehrlich, this kind of magic is your bread and butter.

Speaker 9 And as they open up this infernal portal, your little imp friend, Lola, who is on your shoulder right now, whispers in your ear, it's going to be weird for me to go home.

Speaker 9 I never thought I'd be talking to any of these people anymore. So just, I think I'm going to stay hidden for a while.
It would be awkward if I ran into former co-workers and stuff.

Speaker 9 And so Lola's getting ready to kind of hide and play, play a little down key, as it were, while she's amongst her kind, as it were.

Speaker 9 But otherwise, this portal opens and you're going to know a lot about the nine hells. But as we jump through the portal, boom, suddenly the first thing we're noticing is the temperature changing.

Speaker 9 It is boiling hot in this realm as we see rivers of lava flowing around us. Dead ahead, there's this jagged tower rising up into the air with an open doorway in front of it.

Speaker 9 But it looks like once you go through the open doorway, it just drops down into a pit of lava as far as you can tell.

Speaker 9 And in the distance, you're seeing things like a giant statue that seems to have five dragon heads rising up in the distance on one side and a huge skull, half buried, kind of doom style in the sands in the distance.

Speaker 9 This is not a nice place to be. If we spend too long here, it's going to start hurting us, we think, this realm.
But we've got a job to do. The gem is glowing and it seems to be pointing us up ahead.

Speaker 9 They warned us that we're going to need to store the soul of our enemy or an equally powerful soul. So we're here to get Berserker Billy or some other soul that might be as powerful as him.

Speaker 9 But up ahead, you are seeing this tower.

Speaker 9 And it looks like as we get closer, there's just a drop off into lava and then these chains that are going up into the air towards the higher levels of the tower.

Speaker 9 Unfortunately, there's not one chain to climb to get up to the higher levels of the tower. You're going to have to jump from chain to chain and climb them, it looks like.

Speaker 9 And if you fail, there is a pit of lava waiting hundreds of feet below. And these creepy tendrils keep emerging from out of the lava.
So I would ask, what are people doing now at this point?

Speaker 9 We've got some magic spells at our disposal.

Speaker 9 I would want to remind the wizard and the warlock, Ehrlich, and Kate, that in theory, you've got some magic that could be helpful here, such as the spell Featherfall.

Speaker 9 If somebody falls, you can cast Featherfall real quick to kind of like catch them and slow down their fall. But we don't have any magic that makes us fly or anything like that.

Speaker 9 So, what strategy would people be using here?

Speaker 4 What about the dragons? Can we fly on the dragons?

Speaker 9 Absolutely. So, it does seem like these young dragons, while they are not fully grown, are just big enough that two of them could work together to carry one of us.
No problem.

Speaker 9 They would be strong enough to do that. So, does anyone want to declare that they're taking two of the dragons to help them fly around?

Speaker 5 I was just thinking that if we didn't want to use the dragons, like which one of our characters would be, it sounds like an American Ninja Warrior event, like a course where you just hang upside down and crawl across it.

Speaker 5 Do any of us have like superior grip strength?

Speaker 8 Yes, i would point out that norm the barbarian has amazing athletics as a skill and if he is raging then he gets to roll his athletics checks two times and take the higher numbers so he's even better at i'll leave it up to you big guy do you want the dragons or you want to just well no i i why don't i try to get up on my own just being an athlete skills uh just like be the inner athlete that i am i'll try to get up on my own and if and then you guys can go dragon and magic on the way up absolutely okay all right so am i rolling now 100 you're gonna roll the d20 and because you could rage i would say there's so much attack kind of stuff happening around here this is a dangerous situation that you could rage in and if you rage you get to roll two times and take the higher of the numbers before this roll i want to talk to you guys about roman or good friends at roman most guys have tried different ways to last longer in bed but counting backwards from 10 doesn't always work thinking about baseball doesn't always work the folks at roman they're an online men's health company, are changing the game with Roman swipes.

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Speaker 5 And now, more DD.

Speaker 4 Okay, so for everyone at home, we have a Dungeons and Dragons dice roller. It's on wizards.com.
So we're going to click it. It's a game of integrity.
So we're going to click it and

Speaker 4 go with whatever we get. So I'm going to do it twice.
So here we go. D20, first one,

Speaker 4 12. 12.
That's a good one. Second one.

Speaker 4 Yep. Second one.

Speaker 4 18. Let's go.
18.

Speaker 8 And to that 18, you get to add a plus six. So you got a 24 total.
You are climbing up these chains, no problem. Swing from chain to chain, Tarzan style.

Speaker 8 And in fact, you climb so high up these chains, you realize you're actually starting to grab onto not chains, but as you get higher up in the tower, you're grabbing these tubes.

Speaker 8 They seem to be almost like medical tubes with some sort of substances flowing through them, it seems. And they are like this milky mixture of potions that seem to be flowing through.

Speaker 8 And you're like grabbing these tubes and hoisting yourself up until you are reaching almost up to a trapdoor. Now, this trapdoor has spikes and stuff poking out of it.

Speaker 8 Are you going to climb through the trapdoor or are you going to wait for the others to show up first?

Speaker 4 What do you guys think? By the way, maybe those tubes are regeneron. I could use some right now.

Speaker 5 It could be regeneron.

Speaker 4 It could could be bleach.

Speaker 5 It could be something real good for you.

Speaker 4 What do you guys think?

Speaker 5 Just bust through the door.

Speaker 4 All right, I'm going to bust through the door like a champ. Yeah, I mean, then everyone will join me.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 8 You're busting through the door, and then it's no check to just bust through the door, but I am going to need a dexterity saving throw to make sure you don't get hit by any of the spikes that you could be kind of crashing into a little bit as you force your way through the door.

Speaker 8 So you're going to roll another set of D20s. And because of your barbarian danger sense, you get to roll this two times and take the higher number again.

Speaker 4 All right, here we go. First roll, seven.

Speaker 4 Second roll, 13.

Speaker 8 Okay, with a 13 and you have a plus two on your dexterity saving throw. So that's a 15 total.
Just barely. You get scraped a little bit by one of the spikes, but it doesn't hurt you at all.

Speaker 8 And you are able to climb your way through, bashing past all these spikes and forcing the door open.

Speaker 4 And

Speaker 8 as you climb up into this level, you can see up on a stage in the center of this chamber, two figures fighting. One of them seems familiar.

Speaker 8 One of them is someone you have never seen before, but you are noticing that all of the tubes you were just climbing up that went through the floor seem to insert into his body at the elbows and at the shoulders and at the neck.

Speaker 4 BANG!

Speaker 9 Batman style.

Speaker 9 He's got a mask on, and it seems like there are these tubes that are just attached to the mask and since you asked about like this mixture i'd also let you norm roll one time to see if you know what this mixture would be that's flowing through the tubes this is not your strength so it's uh just in our kind of check you have a plus zero on this so roll and roll and see what you get on the dot so i'm rolling here 18 okay with an 18 what you know for sure is that the mixture flowing through the tubes is a strength enhancement potion?

Speaker 9 Whoever were to either drink or get injected with this potion would have their strength enhanced by it, you think.

Speaker 4 It's regeneron. I was right.
Recovery.

Speaker 4 Correct.

Speaker 4 Yes.

Speaker 9 And that's your turn then. You have climbed up to the level, no problem.
But as you climb up to here, you see these two figures fighting ahead.

Speaker 9 And then below you, you are also hearing a flapping, cawing sound, as though there are these bird creatures that have seen you climb up.

Speaker 9 And now that you have climbed past them, they're flying out to kind of look around for more people who might be climbing up or to come after you, Norm. And you don't see what they are.

Speaker 9 You just hear flapping and this strange cawing sound.

Speaker 4 But that's

Speaker 9 who would like to try to climb up next or take a dragon?

Speaker 5 I feel like

Speaker 5 we got to take a dragon up there. And I'd like to take Lonzo because like, two, you need two.

Speaker 4 You need two.

Speaker 5 I need two for each arm,

Speaker 5 because I was just thinking like it sounds like there's some pelicans that are after you and if you want to just absolutely destroy the pelicans send Lonzo over there he'll take care of all that shit real quick so we can get Lonzo and

Speaker 4 should I take Lamello

Speaker 4 yeah

Speaker 8 yes leave leave Leangelo behind yeah he needs time to develop I'll take those two Absolutely so you're taking the green and the red dragon they are definitely strong enough that they can carry you and you can tell the green dragon isn't having a great time.

Speaker 8 She is a poison dragon. And the red dragon is having a great time.
She's a fire dragon. And so she is not bothered at all by the temperature here.

Speaker 8 And so they are flying up past all the chains with you. I would like you to roll one time for your two dragons just to see if they are carrying you up effectively.
And they get a plus four.

Speaker 8 on this okay you can actually roll two times because you've got two dragons carrying you so first roll roll the 12.

Speaker 5 Second roll, 18.

Speaker 4 18.

Speaker 4 Yeah, let's go.

Speaker 8 Let's go with a plus four. That's a 22.

Speaker 8 You also are before the flapping gets too loud at all, you think you see shapes emerging like gargoyles from the corners and like the alcoves of this hall of chains, as it were, and tubes.

Speaker 8 As you fly past the chains and the tubes full of strength potion, you are able to get up to the same level as norm now.

Speaker 9 And you see the two combatants, Berserker Billy in his barbarian helmet, Goliath-size, just slamming away trying to fight the fiend known as the chemist.

Speaker 9 And it seems like right now, Berserker Billy is winning.

Speaker 5 It seems. Okay.
You said that we could get, we could get like the spirit of either Billy back or somebody that's just as strong or maybe stronger. Maybe stronger.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 Is there like a, is there like a Jake Paul type character? That's maybe a little bit bigger than Billy that's fighting down there as well.

Speaker 8 It does seem like above the two of of them, there is one giant fiend head who is looking down at both of them like it is judging this fight to see how it goes.

Speaker 8 And just based on the shoulders that are emanating from this fiend head, it looks like that guy is the strongest of all of these combatants.

Speaker 5 Frank the Tank.

Speaker 5 Hank, you up?

Speaker 8 And Hank, which dragons would you take or do you want to use like magic to get up somehow?

Speaker 4 Are the Stevens still available? Stephen A and Steven B? Absolutely, both of the Stevens are available.

Speaker 8 Your Ape Rola can't help carry you, but she can fly on her own. And both of the Stevens are available.
Uh, they are not our strongest dragons, but together they can absolutely carry you.

Speaker 8 What I would like to see is two D20 rolls with a plus two added to each of them.

Speaker 4 Uh, roll one is a seven, absolutely, roll two is a five.

Speaker 8 Ooh, I'm sorry to say that if you got a seven, that's a plus two. That's going to get you to nine.
But if you're flying up and the

Speaker 8 white dragons, the Stevens that you have gotten a hold of, they are ice dragons. So as they fly into this lava-filled chamber, they are sweating profusely.
They're starting to get weaker.

Speaker 8 And because you roll the nine, you can tell they are slowly losing altitude, not gaining altitude, I am sorry to say.

Speaker 8 And when that happens, you are noticing noticing these gargoyle shapes, four of them coming swooping out. And I'm going to roll to see how many of them are looking at you.

Speaker 8 Two of them are looking at you right now. And they look like little gargoyle creatures with spikes all over their bodies, like porcupines.

Speaker 8 As they look at each other, two of them wink at each other and then look down at you with a dirty look. And Lola whispers in your ear, Those guys are real assholes.

Speaker 8 And as she says that, they fire off of their tails nasty spines that hurl in your direction. I am so sorry, Ehrlich, but you just got hit two times by these spines.

Speaker 4 The first spine is hitting you four. Norman is not happy about that.
Norman is not happy.

Speaker 8 Five points of damage as one kind of like spears past your arm. Five points of damage is going to take you down to 26 out of 31 HP.
I'm sorry to say that was the attack that hit you.

Speaker 8 The next attack is a critical hit. It goes right into your neck.

Speaker 4 This is fine.

Speaker 8 And that one, that's going to hit you for seven points of damage.

Speaker 4 I'm sorry to say.

Speaker 8 So right now, you're down to 19 at a 31 HP. Not going that way down, but close.

Speaker 4 Can I just say something real quick? And like, no offense.

Speaker 5 Uh-oh, Bikat, you're cutting out.

Speaker 4 No, you can't say anything.

Speaker 8 The gods of the internet have spoken.

Speaker 5 It was not meant to be.

Speaker 8 It was not meant to be. Well,

Speaker 8 certainly Ehrlich has been hit pretty badly. Now, Ehrlich, you have some options.
Those dragons just tried to carry you a little bit. Sorry, big cat.
You're back now.

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's because I was moving with the background.
Frank the tank is just taking up so much bandwidth.

Speaker 4 All I wanted to say was, Hank, like, no offense, dude, but you low-keys suck at this game.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I mean, I'm throwing right now. This is bad.

Speaker 4 I got no excuse.

Speaker 4 Other than offense. A's fault.

Speaker 8 You can blame it on the Stevens. It was, you were just rolling for them.
They apparently were sweating too much right now to carry you.

Speaker 4 But I would have liked to know that they were ice dragons before I rode them into the volcano, but you know, to be fair,

Speaker 8 I wouldn't have said that would give them a penalty, but since you roll the nine, it

Speaker 8 worked perfectly, as it were. So, unfortunately, as they're getting closer to the lava, they're getting ready.

Speaker 8 The bad news is really that if it comes to them touching lava or dropping you, they'll probably drop you before they ever so much as lay a tail inside that lava but you get one more chance you still have your action you could either launch a spell to try to fight these uh fiendish creatures that are attacking you or you could urge them onward and if you roll well on your check to urge them on you might give them another roll to carry you up the rest of the way can i use my demon lola uh who's familiar with the space it all to help me out a sticky situation absolutely in fact lola gets her own turn so you can say what you're doing but also lola can either encourage these dragons to work better or you they she could send her after these two enemy fiends all right let's let's cast a spell let's not go on the offensive let's play a little you know defensive try and try and get my hp back up absolutely love it um i'll warn you unfortunately i don't think you have any healing magic available so uh you um wouldn't is it one of our Don't we have a healer on the squad or no?

Speaker 8 We did have a healer on the squad.

Speaker 4 The healer was Berserker Billy. He had healing magic.
Not to be fair that he ever used much of it.

Speaker 8 He was a war priest, not a healing type priest. But at the same time, that and

Speaker 8 sorry, I should say our bard also has a little bit of healing magic available to him. But as a warlock, you command dark magic, not really healing magic.

Speaker 8 Great for the offense, but not so much for the healing.

Speaker 4 So should I roll a d20?

Speaker 8 Absolutely. You could roll a d20 to encourage the dragons

Speaker 8 to fly a little bit better, if that's what you want to do.

Speaker 4 All right, I'll do that.

Speaker 5 Absolutely.

Speaker 8 So you're using your action, your charisma check for this. If you're trying to persuade the dragons, that would be a plus three.

Speaker 8 But I want to let you know if you are a little stern with the dragons and kind of like really like kind of,

Speaker 8 you know, bad cop, a little bit like tough coach type situation, you could get a plus five to intimidate them into flying better.

Speaker 4 I'll do that.

Speaker 8 So you're being a little harsh with them, but still probably the better strategy considering you had a plus five on that.

Speaker 4 Stern affair. All right.
I'm rolling fucking seven.

Speaker 4 Dude, is there an option, Tim, where he can just KYS?

Speaker 8 So I'll say this. You

Speaker 8 always can, certainly. Just like let go and drop yourself down.

Speaker 4 Oh, no.

Speaker 4 For the team.

Speaker 5 You remember the opening of that mountain climbing movie where it's like one life or two where they're hanging by a thread and one guy just kills himself so the others can survive?

Speaker 5 We're kind of in that situation.

Speaker 4 You're talking about Sly Salone and Cliffhanger? I'm talking about Vertical Limit. Oh,

Speaker 4 yeah. Great movie.

Speaker 8 Good one. Good one.

Speaker 4 Everyone knows that one. I don't know.
We're the same age, PFT. I don't, I don't know.
I don't remember that one.

Speaker 5 Hank, just

Speaker 4 take one from the team. No, survive, Hank.
You know, keep fighting. I'm going down fighting.
I don't care.

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 8 You did get to add a plus five to that seven. So as long as it wasn't a two that became a seven, it would go from being a seven to a 12.
And with a 12, I'd let you get one more roll.

Speaker 8 You encouraged one of the two Stevens to fly a little bit better. You can roll one more time with a plus two.
And if you can get a 15 or better, then you fly up to where the others are.

Speaker 8 But otherwise, you are continuing to sink, as it were.

Speaker 8 Or if you get a 10 or higher, you're at least not

Speaker 4 ready for 10. No, he didn't.
He ain't got a bad score. I got a 14.
No, you didn't.

Speaker 4 You fired. I did.
He said I needed a 15 or better though.

Speaker 8 Was that a 14, including the plus two the dragon gets?

Speaker 4 It's a 14. I'll send a picture, you frauds.

Speaker 8 But but before, is that before you added the plus two for what the dragon gets?

Speaker 4 Yes, it's a 14.

Speaker 8 So it's a it's does that mean it's a 16 total then with the plus two? So with a 16 total, that is enough. You are able to fly up to where the others are

Speaker 8 these dragons like

Speaker 8 dropping you off on the top layer of the tower. We see a giant horned fiend looking down at berserker Billy and the chemist battling each other.

Speaker 4 Well done. This is like the scene in Almost Famous when the plane doesn't crash.
Like, oh, yeah, we're happy you're back, Hank.

Speaker 4 Touchdown.

Speaker 4 Very proud of you. Yeah, good job.

Speaker 4 We always wanted you to keep fighting.

Speaker 8 And that means we got two of us, I believe, on this layer so far. And we need to get Wayne and Cake up to the top layer of the tower as well.
Luckily,

Speaker 8 you've got the spell that if somebody does fall, you can catch them with feather fall. But I'm wondering who wants to go next.

Speaker 5 I feel like I should go next since Jake is the last one. Like he can, he can always save us from below.
That seems like the right move here, right? Correct.

Speaker 4 Absolutely. Okay.

Speaker 5 Yeah, so I'll head up there.

Speaker 8 And are you taking any particular dragons with you?

Speaker 5 I don't like how the Lamello and L'Angelo, I don't like how they responded. I might take Magic.
Can I take Magic up there?

Speaker 4 Irvin.

Speaker 4 Excuse me.

Speaker 8 Absolutely. If you take Urban, to your surprise, Irvin, the prismatic dragon, can carry you by himself.
He is so strong.

Speaker 8 Even though he's not the biggest of the dragons, he grabs you by the shoulder, picks you up, and you are carried by just Irvin.

Speaker 4 Hell yeah. Hell yeah.

Speaker 8 But Urban's just going to get one roll in that case. And if he's carrying you up, you can roll a D20 plus five for Urban.

Speaker 5 Okay, here we go.

Speaker 4 I'm rolling right now.

Speaker 5 I got a 10, so plus five would be 15. Okay, 15 is just barely enough.

Speaker 8 You see the kind of gargoyle fiends as they're swooping around, but you are just barely able to get up to the same level as Norm and Ehrlich now.

Speaker 8 And Erwin's obviously working pretty hard, but does seem to be immune to fire damage as he is carrying you up to the top layer of the tower and dropping you off there. Good stuff.

Speaker 8 And just so you know, that was your move but to get up there you can also use an action if you want you still have your action available and you can use your bonus action to inspire somebody coach style

Speaker 5 okay i think i think i'd like to inspire uh berserker billy like i i want to play can i play let's go by little john Absolutely.

Speaker 8 You start playing Let's Go and you see Berserker Billy just start like swinging to the tune of the song, basically, like he's getting into it.

Speaker 8 And the chemist is getting very frustrated, it seems, as he gets inspired.

Speaker 9 Well done.

Speaker 8 And if you want to cast any spells, you certainly could with your action. Just a reminder, Wayne, you have spells like disguise self to make you look like a different person.

Speaker 8 Thunderwave blasts people back. Unseen servant creates a little invisible friend who can move things around for you.
And I feel it's important to mention vicious mockery.

Speaker 8 You insult someone so bad that they get a little psychic damage.

Speaker 4 I mean, I think

Speaker 5 I think I'm going to have to go with vicious mockery. I'd like to, absolutely.
I'd like to mock the chemist

Speaker 5 considerably. I'd like to mock him very hard.

Speaker 8 Absolutely. Are you saying anything in particular to the chemist to mock him?

Speaker 5 Uh, yeah, I'll be like, hey, tell me the story about how you didn't sleep with Madonna again. That really true one that we all remember.

Speaker 4 Yeah, tell us that story about how you're a genetic freak, even though you spent the last 40 years doing steroids.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I'd like to say all that.

Speaker 4 Absolutely.

Speaker 8 He failed his saving throw quite fittingly against that insult. You get to roll the D4.

Speaker 8 that's going to be the die kind of at the top of the dice roller and let me know how much damage you get on that d4 i got a two with two points of damage the mighty chemist almost completely falls over but he doesn't know he seems like he's going to go down in a single hit but instead he is getting a little insulted takes the two points of damage and then roars but you can tell his attacks now he is taking disadvantage on them because you got in his head and he is messed up right now.

Speaker 4 Tim, quick question. The chemist, do you think that do his punches have power?

Speaker 8 I mean, they do seem to have some power, but not as much as much as you would have expected. You've heard a lot of stories about the chemist, and like he almost just went down to two points of damage.

Speaker 8 And like, you're thinking that Berserker Billy is actually doing really well in this fight.

Speaker 8 It's, I mean, you can roll an insight check on the chemist to see if you think he is intentionally not doing as well as he could but it's hard to tell right now can we roll mighty roar can we roll an insight check on berserker billy to see if billy is like actually ready to kill this guy like what kind of mentality he's in in the ring uh 100 i will let you do one insight check this will really be maybe for the the dragon who carried you up he still has his action so you can go ahead and roll and yeah

Speaker 4 and let me actually just see what your insight check would be wayne just to make sure it wouldn't be better than the dragons.

Speaker 8 If so, I'll get no, the dragons is better. So you roll with a plus three and the dragon will be letting you know if he thinks berserker billy is uh giving it his all.

Speaker 4 Okay, so I'm rolling.

Speaker 5 Is this a d20?

Speaker 8 Is it gonna be a d20 plus three?

Speaker 5 Okay, d20 is an 18, plus three is a 21. So can I just predict what I think Urban Magic the Dragon would say?

Speaker 8 100%. What does he say?

Speaker 5 It will be very exciting to see what happens when Berserker Billy steps into the ring with a chemist the chemist is a former mlb all-star and berserker billy well he's got the part of my take as on his side exclamation point absolutely you can tell he's letting you know the only thing that's making berserker billy so powerful is the encouragement of his friends the moment he saw all of you he's like oh i really gotta impress these guys now and he is absolutely swinging way harder Okay, cool, cool.

Speaker 9 Definitely. I love it.
And he gave inspiration to Berserker Billy, certainly. So you know, everything that Erwin is saying is absolutely

Speaker 9 absolutely true because he's using your inspiration now to get himself a little bit stronger. Love it.
And then that, and that gets all of us up to the level, except for Cake.

Speaker 9 Cake, in theory, I think you were up next to fly up to the top layer.

Speaker 12 Actually, yeah, let's do it. I got to join the squad.

Speaker 9 Absolutely. Now, Cake, I do want to let you know that you do have the feather fall spell.
In case you fall, you've got the best way to kind of save yourself, as it were.

Speaker 9 And you can do that as a reaction if you want, but how would you be trying to initially get up there? You don't have the fly spell yet. You're close to getting it, but not quite there.

Speaker 9 But what would you like to do in theory?

Speaker 4 What other options do I have?

Speaker 9 Absolutely. You could take the dragons if you want.

Speaker 9 And in theory, I would also say that there is a second level spell called levitate that you might have, but levitate doesn't just carry you up and down.

Speaker 9 It kind of makes you like zero gravity a little bit. If you have levitation cast on you, then it's kind of like being in the space station.
You can only bounce off walls.

Speaker 9 So levitation is sometimes sometimes a little dangerous. It's kind of like if you're stuck in the middle of nowhere without anything to touch, you're just kind of floating

Speaker 9 outer space style.

Speaker 12 All right, we'll try taking the dragons.

Speaker 9 Absolutely. A little bit safer maybe to take the dragons.
And do you want to take any dragons in particular up with you?

Speaker 4 Who are the options left?

Speaker 9 So far, it looks like the red and the green and both white dragons have already been taken on a ride so we've got the two black dragons skip one and skip two and we've got the blue dragon uh leangeload

Speaker 12 what do you guys think should we bring the ball brothers back together or leave them hanging

Speaker 5 i say leave them hanging i think they're bosses i'll be honest yeah move on from these dragons asap all right so we're going back to

Speaker 8 skip one absolutely so you're taking skip one and i presume skip two as well.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 8 Absolutely. The two black dragons, skip one and skip two, are acid dragons and are actually not having the worst time in the pits of Avernus.

Speaker 8 There's a lot of like acid rain and stuff here that they're ignoring.

Speaker 12 They got

Speaker 8 they're not feeling great about it. Absolutely.
They're

Speaker 9 zooming around in circles. Like, look at that skull.
That's pretty cool. That looks crazy right now.

Speaker 9 And you, as they are carrying you, get to roll two D20s with a plus three added to each of them these are not the strongest dragons but they're a little bit stronger than the white dragons a little bit weaker than the green and the red dragons and cosmetic dragons first roll 13.

Speaker 9 okay so far so good because you have a plus three on that that's a 16. so it's going to get you there let's see if you do any better on the second roll 14.
14.

Speaker 9 All right, with a 14 plus three, that's going to be 17. That is enough to carry you up the rest of the way.

Speaker 9 So we are all gathered now, landed on the top floor of the Tower of the Chemists, and we can tell that those gargoyle fiends who are below us right now are now flying around, cawing at each other, and they are getting ready to fly up through the trapdoor and come after us.

Speaker 9 So as they are getting ready to fly into the room, we can hear them on the way, but they're not getting to attack us just yet. And that's their move right now.

Speaker 9 Meanwhile, Berserker Billy is going to get to attack the chemist on his turn. So I would ask, did anyone here want to be responsible for rolling for Berserker Billy? Or would you like me to roll?

Speaker 4 I'll do it. I'll roll.
I'll roll.

Speaker 4 A one.

Speaker 4 Hey, all right. Berserker Billy.
No, actually, I did just roll. It was a three.
I swear to God, it was a three. It was a three.

Speaker 9 He has a plus five on his attack with his Warhammer, but an eight is not going to do the trick. He's

Speaker 4 the chemist.

Speaker 9 The attack glances off the kind of shoulder plate that the chemist is wearing.

Speaker 9 And then Berserker Billy winds up and with his divine strike ability, he does get to attack one more time. So if you want to do another attack for him, he could.

Speaker 4 He doesn't have to be. Four.

Speaker 4 I swear to God, four.

Speaker 9 And with a nine, once again, the chemist just knocks this attack back, unless with that nine, you could invoke the inspiration

Speaker 9 Wayne had given.

Speaker 9 He's just not listening to his friends encouraging him on right now. And then virtually Berserker Billy just missed with both of those attacks.
So that would bring us to the chemist's turn next.

Speaker 9 And when the chemist goes, the first thing he does is let out a roar. He is feeling really bad after the insults that were thrown at him by Wayne the Bard.

Speaker 9 He obviously does not take that criticism very well. And he grabs a lever on the floor and with one roar, yanks the lever.

Speaker 9 And from the walls, we see the tubes that are emerging from the walls behind him suddenly start to fill with a mixture. It races through the tubes.

Speaker 9 And then as it enters his body, Bane style, he starts growing bigger and bigger and bigger. And as his muscles grow before our very eyes, he is soon towering over berserker Billy.

Speaker 9 And he is going to swing two attacks at at berserker Billy,

Speaker 9 both of which miss. And so he's swinging berserker Billy is knocking those attacks aside, but neither one of these enemies has injured each other just yet.

Speaker 5 But Tim, isn't the chemist like really big? And so when he punches Billy, you think that that would like legitimately hurt him?

Speaker 9 Absolutely. If it were to connect with Berserker Billy, it would probably throw Berserker Billy back.

Speaker 9 It looks like one of those attacks got very close to hitting Berserker Billy, but he he just barely knocked the attack out of the way.

Speaker 9 But depending on what we do next, we might be able to influence this fight a little bit. Seems like they are truly locked in eternal combat, neither of them really hitting each other just yet.

Speaker 9 But up next, Norm Order, we're not worried too much about turn order today. But Norm, if you want to go next, you are the first to get up here.

Speaker 4 Okay, here we go.

Speaker 4 I'm rolling.

Speaker 4 Five.

Speaker 9 Absolutely. Norm, would you be rushing up to attack either the chemist or berserker Billy, or would you be trying to stop the flying fiends who are trying to get into the room with us?

Speaker 4 Shoot. What should I do, guys?

Speaker 5 So the only thing I'm thinking is we might just try to make the chemist and berserker friends because they have so much in common.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Can you do like fight the other things, the things that are coming up and bothering us? Okay, so I'll fight those.

Speaker 5 Yeah, because the more that they kind of stay in the same location as each other, other fighting each other, I think there's a good chance that Berserker and the chemist become like real close.

Speaker 4 Okay, so let me fight the other things that are coming up at us and leave them to just like bro out with each other.

Speaker 9 100% love it.

Speaker 9 That's perfect because there is one of these winged gargoyle fiends coming flying up through the trapdoor right in time for you to swing your greatsword.

Speaker 9 So far, you said you had rolled a five, but let me ask the question. Would you want to make that a reckless attack? If it's reckless, then you get to roll two times.

Speaker 9 But if the fiend attacks you, they're also going to get to roll two times and take a higher number.

Speaker 4 All right, I'll roll again. I'll roll again.

Speaker 9 Roll one more time.

Speaker 4 18. Great roll.
Fuck yes.

Speaker 9 That is going to be a hit against the fiend. And if you want to go ahead and roll two d6s and add plus five to the result, that's going to be your total damage for the

Speaker 9 okay.

Speaker 4 Here comes roll one for the d6.

Speaker 4 One, not good. Roll two,

Speaker 4 two, also not good.

Speaker 9 So not good. So three damage.
And yeah, you don't have anything to pump that up, but three plus the five damage you get for raging. That's eight damage against the fiend.

Speaker 9 Unfortunately, as your sword cuts through this fiend, you think you are only for some reason dealing four points of damage instead of eight, as though this fiend is resistant to your weapons, it seems.

Speaker 9 But still, four points of damage injures this thing a little bit.

Speaker 9 And then you still get to swing again with your bonus action if you want you are a frenzying barbarian and so you can do two attacks per turn okay

Speaker 4 all right so am i rolling the d20 you're rolling another pair of d20s because you are still reckless right now 15 is the first one

Speaker 9 five is the second okay so we'll use the 15 you're getting a plus six on this attack roll and that is absolutely a hit again against the fiend so go ahead and roll your damage again now two d6 plus five okay

Speaker 4 three

Speaker 4 Okay,

Speaker 4 one again. God damn it.

Speaker 9 Okay, so four plus five is going to be nine damage. Half down to four again means that so far the fiend has gotten eight damage on them.

Speaker 9 The fiend looks like they are more than halfway down, but not quite down just yet.

Speaker 9 And as they fly into the room, they look down at you, norm, and they get a teeny little pitchfork ready, like they are planning on stabbing you with it as they caught you and threaten you with their spiky tail as well.

Speaker 9 Unless somebody attacks this theme, they are going to be attacking at the end of our turns. But so far, that's Norm's turn.

Speaker 9 And they're going to target Norm, it looks like, because Norm has gone reckless. He's easier to hit now.
So who would like to go next in theory? The second person to fly in, I think, had been Ehrlich.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Want to help me out? Yeah, I'll go next.

Speaker 5 Hank, are you sure you're able to get off the ground?

Speaker 4 I do, you know, I would in theory want to help Big Cat, cat but he said some pretty mean things about letting go of no no no no no no no no one turn ago what are my other options big cat it's my turn please norm sorry

Speaker 4 what other

Speaker 8 besides playing defense what other options do i have absolutely you could try to fight these fiends who are swarming up from the trapdoor you could also get involved in the fight happening between the chemist and berserker billy i mentioned this because both you and the bard have high charisma for influencing people's people's thoughts and stuff.

Speaker 8 So if you're trying to make someone like feel worse in this fight or the two of them to become buddy-buddy or something like that, you have a plus five on intimidate for like threatening people and you have a plus three on deception for tricking people or things like that.

Speaker 4 I guess I'll be the bigger warlock and help help defend Dan. I don't like,

Speaker 5 Hank, I don't like how you're holding that over our heads, though.

Speaker 4 Like you're making it seem like

Speaker 5 just for going along with.

Speaker 4 I am. All right.
Well, yeah, you guys tried to kill me. You guys told told me to give up last time.

Speaker 5 We didn't try to kill you. We just suggest that you kill yourself.

Speaker 4 Right. But I'm not.
Yeah, that's not, I didn't, I didn't, I wasn't rooting for you to die, Hank. I said

Speaker 4 at some point, you're just so bad that you should just

Speaker 4 get out of QIS. Yet I'm still alive.

Speaker 5 We were just rooting for you to finally get it so that we didn't have to come out and actually tell you.

Speaker 4 All right, I'm going to D up. Should I roll D20?

Speaker 8 Absolutely. What you can do is you know that against these fiends who are resistant to weapons, your eldritch blast attack will deal full damage to them.
So if you want to, you can do eldritch blast.

Speaker 8 And if you really want, you could use your bonus action to put a hex on one of these fiends. In theory, there's only one in the room so far.

Speaker 8 But if you hit a hexed fiend, then in theory, you deal a little extra damage. Do you want to use up a hex right now?

Speaker 4 Yep, let's throw the kitchen sink at him. Absolutely.

Speaker 8 Then you roll a d20 plus six to see if you hit this.

Speaker 4 Oh, fuck. Yeah, it's a 20.
Oh,

Speaker 8 a natural 20, that's a 26 total. You hit this fiend right in the face.

Speaker 8 And as it's getting hit by your eldritch blast, your patron, who is a devil themselves, in fact, maybe you even hear a booming laughter from the top of the tower, as though it's that giant face who is giving you this extra power.

Speaker 8 You see it grow bigger and bigger, and it is going to be probably exploding this fiend from within. Let's see your damage, and your normal damage would be 1d10.

Speaker 8 Now it's going to be 2d10 because you critical hit. And for hexing, it will be 1d6, but that becomes 2d6 because it's a critical hit.
So 2d10 plus 2d6.

Speaker 4 I just want to say I never stopped believing in Hank.

Speaker 4 Look at the dance. What are you doing?

Speaker 5 Hank, is that a gamer chair?

Speaker 4 Yeah. Do you have a chair designed for gamers?

Speaker 4 Well, I mean,

Speaker 4 there's not like podcasting chairs, PFT.

Speaker 4 else would I get?

Speaker 5 It's just called the floor.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's called your mom's couch.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I'm good. I'm good with that.

Speaker 4 All right. So, where are we at? Good job, Hank.
Thank you. Thank you.
My name is Norm, though. I mean, Erlich.
No, I'm Norm. Thanks, Erlich.

Speaker 4 I'm the one with the raging boner. Yeah.

Speaker 8 And Ehrlich, if you want to roll your damage, your damage is going to be 2d10 for the eldritch blast.

Speaker 8 And then for the hex that you cast on this fiend, you get an extra 2d6 added onto that.

Speaker 4 So roll the d10?

Speaker 8 You're going to roll the d10 two times added together, and then the d6 two times added together, and that's your total damage.

Speaker 4 All right, d10 one is a six,

Speaker 4 d10 two is an eight, eight 14 so far, and then the d6 you said, and then the d6 two times because you critical hit d6 one is a four,

Speaker 4 d6 two is a two.

Speaker 8 18 became 20. So, with 20 damage, that fiend explodes and sends spines, porcupine spines, hitting the rocks and the walls all around us.
Well done, Ehrlich.

Speaker 8 You have finished off that fiend, and I'll just ask at that point if you want Lola to do anything. Lola says, I don't want anything to do with those fiends, but I might mess with those two over there.

Speaker 8 But she follows your orders, you can tell her to do whatever you want.

Speaker 4 Can I have her like go up to the dead bodies and like teabag them? Just you know, insult the injury.

Speaker 8 All right, she has a scorpion tail so she's invisible but you know that what she's doing is dipping the scorpion stinger into the mouth of this theme like oh yeah

Speaker 8 as and that is uh eternally amusing to her because the spined devils are a little bit stronger and tougher than her so this is a fun opportunity she face to she loves it love it Absolutely.

Speaker 8 And that will bring us then to Wayne's turn next. Wayne, what would you like to do against these?

Speaker 8 Either involved in the fight that's happening between Berserker Billy and the chemist or with these three remaining fiends who are about to come swarming up to us.

Speaker 5 It's a good question. So part of me feels like we should cut our losses now that Hank's still on top.

Speaker 5 Like Hank just had the turn of his life and he's like a running back that like, you know, he has a great season.

Speaker 5 You don't want to pay him a lot of money because he'll probably never reach that peak again. Can we can I encourage Hank to go on a vacation or look to just go leave for a while?

Speaker 8 You certainly could.

Speaker 8 Generally, because you're rolling a persuasion check on another player, I kind of leave it to the other player to say, like, I will be convinced with a 15 or higher, or I will be convinced with a 20 or higher.

Speaker 8 I can't control what Hank does. So you might want to ask Hank how likely he is to be.

Speaker 5 Okay, actually, no, here's what I'd like to do. I'd like to encourage Ehrlich to go

Speaker 5 produce

Speaker 5 the show that Berserker Billy and the chemist are coming up with together in the ring i feel like they should go to like go move to florida uh someplace sunny i'll do i'll take the kms option

Speaker 5 if that's if that's the case i would like to jump head first into the wild dog all right all right all right here's what i'll actually do i i'd like to try to kill the remaining things flying around now you said that magic had immunity to something it seems like they are not resistant to magic damage it's weapons that they seem to be immune to.

Speaker 8 Now, you can also roll an Arcana check to determine what you think could hurt them the most, maybe. And you have a plus three on Arcana.
Okay. Otherwise, we think magic works okay on them.

Speaker 5 All right. So my dragon, Irvin, he's a magic dragon.
So I think that he will... I'm just going to go with him.
Let's roll with his magic.

Speaker 8 I want to let you know that right now you say, Erwin, go get him. You have magic.
And he goes, I'm not fighting anybody.

Speaker 8 Go ahead and roll a persuasion check on Irvin to make make sure that you get to use his attacks instead of your own and so go ahead and roll your persuasion is uh you got a plus five on this you're very persuasive okay d20 right and you hatched him so roll two times and take a higher number okay d20.

Speaker 5 first one's 17 pretty good

Speaker 9 that's gonna do the trick but let's see if you get a critical hit the second one was six six okay so we'll take the 17 plus five that's a 22 urban goes i'm not gonna all right fine okay and you see him fly over to you said the rest of these fiends you wanted him to attack is that right yeah he's able to catch all of them in a cone breath weapon that when he opens his mouth rainbows of light begin shooting out and it seems like the red light hits one of the fiends and covers it in fire.

Speaker 9 Some of the purple light hits one of the fiends and that seems to create like a sort of sparkling effect around them that melts them. It's like it's causing all their veins to like wither up.

Speaker 9 There's a blue light that's hitting that's causing ice damage. It's all kinds of damage, but I'm going to roll saving throws for each of these fiends.

Speaker 9 One of them got hit really bad. The other ones are doing okay on their saving throws, but go ahead and roll six D6

Speaker 9 worth of damage against these enemies.

Speaker 9 And And you can even kind of like on the virtual dice roller move it so that it like adds up all the six D6s for you. You can like use the drop-down menu or just roll the d6s and add them up.

Speaker 5 Okay, that might be too challenging for me. I'm going to roll six.
Okay, first one, first one, three.

Speaker 5 Second one, one,

Speaker 4 four.

Speaker 5 So we're at eight.

Speaker 4 Two.

Speaker 9 Two. That's ten, and we're two-thirds of the way there.

Speaker 4 Four, four,

Speaker 9 fourteen.

Speaker 5 Another four.

Speaker 9 Another four. So 18 damage finishes off one of the fiends.
He just falls from the sky. That'll be the one who took ice damage, probably.

Speaker 9 And then, no, that'll be the one who took lightning damage from the yellow beam because they are not immune to lightning.

Speaker 9 And then the other two seem like they are taking nine points of damage from that. And that is almost bringing them down, but not quite.
They did okay on their saving throws against that breath weapon.

Speaker 9 But well done. Urban takes out one of the fiends, and there are two left who are badly injured now at this point.
And that used up your move for sure.

Speaker 9 You still have your bonus action, and you could cast a spell if you really wanted to. Up to you.
Hmm.

Speaker 5 I'd like to.

Speaker 5 Can I inspire Cake on his next turn?

Speaker 9 Yes, you could. Absolutely.
Cake is now going to be inspired.

Speaker 5 So Cake's a journalist, right? Great move.

Speaker 4 Great move.

Speaker 5 I'd like to buy him a Diet Coke and put on

Speaker 5 and let him know that Bruce Springsteen actually wasn't over the legal limit for his DUI. It was

Speaker 5 a cop that put his foot on the scale a little bit and gave him an extra 0.6 points.

Speaker 4 Absolutely.

Speaker 8 You're handed the Pepsi and you feel inspired, Cake. Absolutely.
And you'll get to add some extra bonuses to your attacks or saving throws when you need them.

Speaker 8 And that will bring us then to your turn, Cake. Now, Cake, you also got landed up here.
We're all in the same room now.

Speaker 8 You can do something in relation to this fight that's happening, or you can do something about the last two fiends who are trying to come in and attack us.

Speaker 12 I think we should finish the job.

Speaker 4 Yeah, because this could be the last turn for this session. So let's choose wisely here, Jake.
Yeah.

Speaker 12 Yeah, I'm going to finish the job and try to knock out those fiends.

Speaker 8 Absolutely. You got a couple of spells that could finish off these fiends.

Speaker 8 Your magic missile spell, you could launch magic missiles and send two at one of the fiends and two at the others, or you could hit them both at the same time time with a thunder wave blast you clap your hands and a sonic boom sends them flying backward do you have a preference between those two yeah let's do the sonic ray but that's the sonic boom sounds absolutely sonic boom is probably an element that they are not resistant to and i will roll their saving throws they both failed their saving throws this time and cake you get to roll 2d8 damage unless you want to charge this up to second level and then it will be 3d8 damage let's charge let's triple charge yeah absolutely go ahead and roll three d8s those are the nice that look kind of like two pyramids stacked up on each other yep seven oh great start

Speaker 4 one

Speaker 4 one

Speaker 8 five five absolutely that is enough that both of the fiends as they try to fly up through the entrance to start doing their attacks right after your turn the two of them get thrown backward crash into spikes on the walls and then fall down into the lava below

Speaker 8 and are not seen again. We took care of all of the fiends

Speaker 8 trying to attack us. Well done.
And then in that case, Berserker Billy would be up next. Would we like to attack for Berserker Billy?

Speaker 4 Yeah, sure. I'll do it real quick.

Speaker 4 I'm doing it honestly. I'm doing it honestly.

Speaker 4 Six.

Speaker 8 Six is with another plus five going to bring him up to 11.

Speaker 8 That's not quite going to be a hit unless he uses his inspiration which he could okay all right no fuck that um do i roll again for him you can roll again for his second attack 16

Speaker 8 16 is going to be with a plus five a hit with a 21 well done for berserker billy he will get to roll one d8 plus two damage against the chemist All right, he's rolling a d8.

Speaker 4 It's four.

Speaker 4 All right.

Speaker 8 With four points of damage, damage, the chemist think gets hit in the shoulder by this little hammer blade

Speaker 4 and immediately falls over onto the ground.

Speaker 4 He's lying on the ground.

Speaker 9 His muscles seem to be shrinking down as these tubes got knocked off of his body, not by Billy, but just by him falling over, kind of.

Speaker 4 No!

Speaker 4 No!

Speaker 9 And Berserker Billy seems ecstatic. He keeps jumping up and down.
There's a light in his eyes, a childlike glow that you have never seen before.

Speaker 9 And the bully does believe that he is so excited to have the secret

Speaker 4 knocked out.

Speaker 9 I will ask, are we doing anything to either influence his enthusiasm or to the chemist or anything like that?

Speaker 4 No, Billy's got enough enthusiasm.

Speaker 5 We're just kind of ignoring him for a little bit right now and hoping he's having a fun time. And then I think we just send the chemist back to his car wash.

Speaker 4 Absolutely.

Speaker 8 It does seem like the chemist should have a lot more hit points, but he's just lying there and seems to be dragging himself away from the arena.

Speaker 8 And Berserker Billy turns to us, and it seems like he feels so powerful now after that fight. He's ready to charge each of us.
However, we do know that he is not Berserker Billy in his body.

Speaker 8 We are looking at Berserker Billy, the soul who has descended to avernus. And right now, if we were to point that ruby at him, him, we could try to trap him in the ruby Ghostbusters style.

Speaker 4 Is that what we'd like to do? Let's, you know what? Let's leave a cliffhanger. Let's decide when we come back next time, we'll have Billy in attendance.

Speaker 4 And we'll, I don't want to kill Billy for the 10th time without him being here.

Speaker 8 100%.

Speaker 8 It might be that to trap him like a Pokemon, we need to actually like fight him a little bit. So maybe next time when we have Berserker Billy, we'll end with him turning to charge us.

Speaker 8 And I would assume it would be Ehrlich probably who would be the best one to be holding the ruby to try to trap him. This would be a warlock magic in particular.

Speaker 8 And he's going to be the best equipped to trap Berserker Billy. But we're going to need to fight him first.

Speaker 4 Excellent. Perfect.
Well, Tim. Thank you, Tim.

Speaker 5 It's great to see you. We miss you.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I miss you.

Speaker 5 We did not wait so long.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you're the best. You're the best in the biz, Tim.
We really appreciate it. And we'll see you soon.
We'll do another one within the next month.

Speaker 8 I appreciate getting to come back. This is fun.
Absolutely. looking forward to seeing y'all again all right thanks thanks tim take care have a great evening bye

Speaker 4 see ya

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Speaker 4 All right, let's wrap up. Fire Fest of the week.
I think we got some big ones. Uh, PFT, would you like to start? Yeah, sure.

Speaker 5 Well, first of all, uh, Guoshi Fat Sai, it's lunar new year today. We didn't say that at the top, but I just realized.

Speaker 4 So you're the ox.

Speaker 5 You're the ox this year.

Speaker 5 Yeah, my fire fest is that

Speaker 5 Darren Revell doesn't look like he's going to fight me anymore. And I wanted to make it happen.
I told Barstall, I said, I will do it for $0.

Speaker 5 And I removed all stipulations. Anytime, anywhere, I will fight Darren Revelle.
Anytime, anywhere.

Speaker 5 Turns out that Darren, I don't even know if he talked to anybody. David said he didn't talk to Darren.
Maybe he called and spoke with somebody else.

Speaker 5 But Darren is saying that the fight's off. I don't know about all that.
You just tell me wherever to show up. I will show up and fight Darren Revelle.
He just loves being talked about.

Speaker 5 He's addicted to being discussed and he loves the attention. And so me personally, I know that we've banned him from the show.
I'm going to ban his name from the show.

Speaker 4 There we go.

Speaker 4 Listen,

Speaker 4 I feel like I know this guy so well at this point because he's been playing the same tricks over and over. He's the loophole king.
He's the talk about king.

Speaker 4 If people followed the line, I'm going to have PFT's back here because I know that

Speaker 4 there's got to be, he hasn't told me, but there's got to be some frustration with how this played out. Ravel essentially just came from the clouds and said, I want $2 million to fight PFT.

Speaker 4 Ravel said that. We didn't say that.
PFT didn't say that. Ravel said that.
Now,

Speaker 4 of course, he wants $2 million because what he really wants is for Barstool to talk about him and keep him relevant for six months.

Speaker 5 And guess what?

Speaker 4 Whether you think that that's fair or not, you know, I understand the argument. I want to see this fight.
I get it. Unfortunately, they are a competitor.
We're in the gambling world.

Speaker 4 He's in the gambling world.

Speaker 4 We're not going to give someone else in the gambling world six months of free, you know, run, and especially not a guy who is going to take advantage of it and be really annoying every step of the way.

Speaker 4 And then on top of it, all of that, give him $2 million. So it makes sense in my eyes.
And remember, he was the one who came out of the clouds and started this whole thing, not PFT.

Speaker 5 I want to fight this fight. I want to make that very clear.
I want to fight Darren Revelle. Darren, if you want to find a different place to do it, anytime, any place, I will show up.

Speaker 5 I will fight Darren Revelle. I need maybe like an hour notice just to get my shit together.
Get my fighting shoes on.

Speaker 4 No, no, but I'm not. No, no, no.
Here's a butt. Here's a butt.
When he tweets us tomorrow, we have to ignore him.

Speaker 4 Because the biggest mistake we made was even engaging him on Tuesday night when he started this whole thing.

Speaker 4 Because the minute you engage him, the minute you give him, you know, credibility here, and then he just talks about it and talks about it and talks about it.

Speaker 4 And he loves the fact that we're talking about about him right now. And it makes me sick to my stomach, but we're here and we were forced into this.

Speaker 4 So I'm, I have had the policy of just ignoring him for a very long time and it's worked great.

Speaker 5 I will not be replying to him. The only thing I will say is anytime, anywhere, if he wants to fight me, I will show up and I will kick his ass and I will do it with a smile on my face.

Speaker 5 This is actually a fight that I really wanted to have happen. I even told Dave, I was like, whatever you can do to make it happen, please make it happen because I want to fight him.

Speaker 5 So it looks like it's not going to happen, but you're right. Darren is like, he's like a homeless neighborhood cat that shows up on your porch, starts meowing really loudly in the middle of the night.

Speaker 5 You open up a can of tuna one time for him and you put it on the porch. Next thing you know, he's spraying your windows down with his butt cheeks.

Speaker 5 And then your neighbors are walking by being like, why won't you let that cat inside? It's really unhappy and seems to really love you. Well, guess what?

Speaker 5 Not mentioning Darren Revelle's name ever again. We've got Jake.
Jake March has made Darren Revelle obsolete. The only thing that Jake can't do that Darren Revelle does is catch these hands.

Speaker 5 And Darren, time and place, anytime, any place, I will show up and hit you.

Speaker 4 I will show you.

Speaker 4 He's going to keep baiting you.

Speaker 5 I'm done. No, I'm done.
The only, are you, though?

Speaker 4 Are you? The only further. You've got to be really done.
Like, he's going to bait you on Twitter and people are going to be like trying to get you. You're not going to be able to handle it.

Speaker 5 Only further communication I will make with Darren Revelle is catch these hands anytime you want to anytime.

Speaker 4 I'm already the wrong answer.

Speaker 4 Let's go through a simulation. Yep.
Okay. Let's role play.
Two months from now, we don't say anything.

Speaker 5 anything getting no clout he's feeding some clout and he says hey pft i heard you're too much of a coward to fight me i tried to and your guys are the reason we didn't what happened okay so what i do is i reply to him at darren revelle anytime any place but then at the last second before hitting send i delete the at darren revelle and i just tweet to nobody in particular anytime any place okay All right, good.

Speaker 4 I also was going to say, maybe you just need to kick the shit out of Jake to get this out of your system. No.
I was going to say, I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for darren

Speaker 4 you guys

Speaker 4 that's not true

Speaker 4 that's a it's a coincidence what if i what if i just took jake hostage and i was like darren for every week that goes by that you do not fight me i'm gonna break another one of jake's bones we need you know what we need is we need jake to give you the robin williams it's not your fault speech while you break down and you're just like you're right it's not it's not

Speaker 5 i'm listen i'm fine i'm just done replying to him it sucks i hope you're right i hope that's true It looks like I didn't want to fight because I want nothing more in my life.

Speaker 4 That's what he does.

Speaker 4 He's the king of loopholes.

Speaker 4 He's the king of tricks.

Speaker 5 And when I said

Speaker 4 you just got to ignore.

Speaker 5 When I said I wanted to wipe his account off of Twitter, I was doing that to try to raise the stakes a little bit.

Speaker 5 And the second that he made it clear that he would not accept that, I'm like, fine, let's just do it your way.

Speaker 4 I will give all that up.

Speaker 5 You can get paid whatever you work out with, Dave. You name the time and the place.
I'll show up and beat you up anytime, anywhere.

Speaker 4 Can't do it. He's the king of loopholes.
Just forget about him.

Speaker 4 Jake, you're Fire Fest. Are you going to get beat up by a PFT now?

Speaker 12 Maybe. I'll take it, though.
You can use me as a punching bag.

Speaker 5 Very cool, Jake.

Speaker 12 So we're obviously working from home this week.

Speaker 12 I've had this box. in my apartment unopened since October.
It's just a chair, like a lounge chair, extra seat, if I ever have guests.

Speaker 12 And I kept putting it off for four months because I didn't want to put it together. I finally opened it today and it was all put together.
I literally just needed to open the box for four months.

Speaker 4 No, no construction was needed. No way.

Speaker 4 How big was that? That's like a fire fest though. Like that's fire.

Speaker 12 It's like a reverse fire fest.

Speaker 4 This is fire. Yeah.
That's amazing.

Speaker 12 Holy shit. I have the chair folded and no construction was needed.

Speaker 4 That's awesome. Yeah.

Speaker 4 All right. My firefest is I have COVID.

Speaker 5 Yeah, it's pretty straightforward.

Speaker 4 It pretty much sucks. Oh, it's low-key, not a great time.
Like, I know, I don't want to be the 7 millionth media person to be like, hey, guys, I got COVID. It's no joke.
Take it seriously.

Speaker 4 But it is no joke and you should take it seriously. A peak athlete like myself, I've had trouble breathing all week.
It has not been fun. I've been, we've been, I've literally just done this show.

Speaker 4 And after we hang up, I'm like gassed beyond belief. So it's no joke.

Speaker 5 Have you heard that people who smoke cigarettes actually have a better time with COVID than people that don't?

Speaker 4 Yeah,

Speaker 4 I don't know if that's true. I just know that

Speaker 4 it sucks, and I really wish I didn't have it. And it sucks not seeing my family, and it sucks being sick and being out of breath.
And yeah, this thing is no joke. So there it is.

Speaker 4 I know I sound preachy, but guess what? I'll say it. This thing is no joke.

Speaker 5 They also said that it can lead to erectile dysfunction down the line. I don't want you to think about that, but I already have low tea.

Speaker 4 So I'm

Speaker 4 not going to talk about no tea can be taken out of my body. More tea.

Speaker 4 Hank, what's your fire fest

Speaker 4 uh my fire fest is there's a petition people are people are calling for my resignation as uh commissioner of stool streams because we can't get there is because i sign it

Speaker 4 i texted hank the other day like it makes me very mad

Speaker 4 people are people are busting my balls on twitter which is relatively fair like i don't it's funny and it's like you know it is what it is that we can't do championship until we get covet clear but jake is like actually upset for me which yeah the nfl got it, got it season in.

Speaker 4 What's your problem? Yeah.

Speaker 12 That's what I mean.

Speaker 4 Yeah, they got it in, but they had to make some schedule adjustments. Right.
Yeah, but they got the Super Bowl in when the Super Bowl was scheduled.

Speaker 12 Okay, because they didn't have any COVID issues.

Speaker 4 Yeah. I mean, no, they just, they buried him.
Like, you should have killed me before I had a chance to get COVID.

Speaker 12 Yeah. So these people need to back off, Hank.
He has no control over who gets COVID.

Speaker 4 So relax.

Speaker 4 Hank, you want me to add him to the list? You want me to add him to the list of people that I'll shame if I die? I'll die in their face.

Speaker 4 please those people listen if you sign that change.org you better hope i wake up tomorrow morning because if i don't it's on your head there it is the first one i've been throwing throwing around my death at people's face all week it's been great change.org first result when i type in lockwood get mr lockwood fired oh no this is just this is a middle school principal Petition to students of Paul Revere Charter Middle School to get Mr.

Speaker 5 Lockwood fired.

Speaker 12 Also, it's interesting because the people who are complaining Django's not happening are probably the same people who are commenting, nobody watches this, right?

Speaker 4 Of course, of course.

Speaker 5 So, I mean, the reality of the situation is that Hank is probably the best person at Barstool to get something like this pulled off with his organizational skills.

Speaker 5 Like, it's funny to think about, but Hank actually is joking.

Speaker 4 Hank is one of the more capable.

Speaker 5 I'm trying to give you a compliment. I'm saying, like, I mean, who do they want? They want to like young page views will surely be able to get this tournament done in a timely fashion.

Speaker 4 by the way the one uh thing that i've had to to like reckon with this week is that maybe i shouldn't joke all the time because i've had multiple people florio being the biggest case of florio text me and he was like do you really have covet or is it a bit and i just want to be like i have I have warped this person, Mike Florio's brain, so much that when he sees that I have COVID, he probably thinks I'm trying to get his fantasy football team out of him.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Like,

Speaker 4 that's a bad place to be. Like,

Speaker 4 so I'm gonna have to reassess some things after that.

Speaker 5 No, just do you, man. I think I think you're fine.

Speaker 4 Oh, man. It's a good, it's, I mean, it's a good way to just tell people to not be mean to you about.
I mean, I did that tweet on Wednesday night.

Speaker 4 I was like, I'm going to sleep because I have to fight COVID in my sleep. So if Wisconsin loses to Nebraska, like, don't be mean about it.

Speaker 5 You're going to make me die.

Speaker 4 I also don't have COVID, and I'm it's a pre-fire fest for when I do get it.

Speaker 4 Okay, you're low-key heated about it. Right.
I'm telling you, bro, you don't want it. I, I just once we, yeah, I mean, I'm not gonna say I want it, but like it sounds like you're saying

Speaker 4 you definitely sound like you want it. Yeah, I'm nervous.
I would like based on the way things are going.

Speaker 4 I feel like I'm gonna go back to the office next week, and then there's gonna be, I'm gonna like get it, and then we're gonna have to push tool strooms off again.

Speaker 4 Hank, you're feeling this is something that you say now, but I would sacrifice my health for tools. No, no, no, no, no, take that back.

Speaker 5 No, you say, you say that now, but post-mostly, you would look back on this and be like, it was not worth it.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Actually,

Speaker 4 if you die, if you get COVID and die, I'm going to make it my personal

Speaker 4 life's mission to have the Jenga championship never take place.

Speaker 4 Like, you can't play it.

Speaker 4 Oh, we're making Jake so uncomfortable with this conversation. Just name the trophy after me.
I'm fine. Jake doesn't like the death jokes.
Oh, I'm fine.

Speaker 4 Jake, you better hope I don't fucking die tonight, dude. Just name the trophy after me, please.
Yeah,

Speaker 4 Jake, what time are you going to text me in the morning to make sure I woke up?

Speaker 12 9:30 a.m.

Speaker 4 Okay, all right.

Speaker 4 Uh, all right, should we do numbers? Do you have the numbers? No, I'm sorry that the only way I can deal with serious issues is just make more jokes on topic.

Speaker 5 Going 18.

Speaker 4 Whoa, 13.

Speaker 12 All right, double 18.

Speaker 5 All right, I changed my 23.

Speaker 5 I want to see what Jake's back: 99.

Speaker 4 8, 8, 8.

Speaker 4 Uh,

Speaker 4 am I pulling it up? Yeah, oh, oh, I can do it. I can do it.

Speaker 5 I think Jake's the most trustworthy.

Speaker 12 I wouldn't, I mean, an honor system, like with Tim.

Speaker 4 I would

Speaker 4 actually

Speaker 4 believe if I lie about this, then I deserve to die tonight.

Speaker 4 All right, here we go. Everyone got their numbers: 99, 18.
What was it? 8. 13.

Speaker 4 Liam?

Speaker 4 73. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Three.

Speaker 4 16.

Speaker 4 16.

Speaker 12 16. September 22nd, November 17th.
Three Pete.

Speaker 4 All right.

Speaker 4 I guess everyone have a great weekend. And we'll see you next time.
See you on the Lunar New Year. Yeah, Lunar New Year.

Speaker 5 Watch out for the Winter Storm.

Speaker 5 Is this one named?

Speaker 4 I don't know.

Speaker 5 Winter Storm football team.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Sorry that Billy wasn't here and he couldn't tell you about his fight, guys.

Speaker 5 Turkeys Turkeys believe in God.

Speaker 4 Let me guess. When I got, I went into wars, war mode, because I got in the ring, wartime.
I was in, you guys don't know. I was literally like in war time.
You went into a mental state.

Speaker 4 And like, when Jose like punched me, he didn't have a lot of power. And I just knew.
Like, I was low-key, I was just as tall as him.

Speaker 5 So, like, legitimately, when you get into a boxing room with somebody, you legitimately, like, I... thought that the only way out was I had to kill him.

Speaker 4 Like, I was.

Speaker 5 That's why I brought that guy with a gun that's the mindset that you have like you guys don't know because you weren't there but like you have to flip a switch and you have to be like i'm gonna kill this guy i'm actually gonna kill him like i was prepared to kill him in the boxing ring

Speaker 4 all right see everyone one day love you guys

Speaker 4 Talking away.

Speaker 4 I don't know what

Speaker 4 got to say, I'll say it anyway.

Speaker 4 But there's another day to find you. You're shying away.

Speaker 4 I pick up for your love again.

Speaker 4 Shying away.

Speaker 4 We're talking away

Speaker 4 I don't know what I'm to say, I'll say it anyway

Speaker 4 Today's another day to find you Shying away

Speaker 4 I'll be coming for your love, okay

Speaker 4 Shying away

Speaker 4 I'll be coming for your love, okay

Speaker 4 Take

Speaker 4 on

Speaker 4 me

Speaker 4 Take on,

Speaker 4 take

Speaker 4 me

Speaker 4 home

Speaker 4 Take on,

Speaker 4 I'll be

Speaker 4 gone

Speaker 4 in a day or two

Speaker 4 So needless to say

Speaker 4 I'd stay in so I'm a beast Stumbling away

Speaker 4 Slowly learning that life is okay

Speaker 4 Say it after me.

Speaker 4 It's no better to be safe than sorry. Say it after me.

Speaker 4 It's no better to be safe than sorry.

Speaker 4 Take

Speaker 4 on

Speaker 4 me.

Speaker 4 Take

Speaker 4 me

Speaker 4 home.

Speaker 4 I'll be

Speaker 4 gone

Speaker 4 in a day or two.

Speaker 4 all things that you say

Speaker 4 is alive for just to play my worries away.

Speaker 4 You're all the things I've got to remember. You're shying away.

Speaker 4 I'll become a pure love anyway. You're shying away.

Speaker 4 I'll become a pull your love anyway.

Speaker 4 Take

Speaker 4 on

Speaker 4 me.

Speaker 4 Take

Speaker 4 me

Speaker 4 on

Speaker 4 I'll

Speaker 4 be

Speaker 4 gone

Speaker 4 in a day

Speaker 4 It's part and my take presented by Barstool Sports