Brooks Koepka, SB 55 Clean Up, Big Cat Has Covid & Rovell Vs PFT

1h 43m

Big Cat has Covid which means zoom shows this week and March Madness is officially back on.(2:10-10:27) Cleaning up SB 55 and the stories lingering a couple of days later. (10:28-23:13) Hot Seat/Cool Throne plus Billy tells us about his fight.(23:14-53:38) Brooks Koepka joins the show to talk about his big win Sunday, coming back from injury, sportsmanship in golf, and winning next years Blake of the year. (56:07-1:22:04) PFT vs Rovell at Rough and Rowdy 14?(1:23:15-1:33:20) And we finish with guys on chicks (1:33:21-1:40:14)


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Runtime: 1h 43m

Transcript

Speaker 1 Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.

Speaker 3 Sweaters and denim for casual plans, party dresses for nights out, and comfy matching sets for everything in between. Keep the chaos cute this season in Abercrombie.

Speaker 3 Shop their new holiday outfits in the app online or in stores.

Speaker 2 On today's part of my take, we have our good, good friend Brooks Kepka off his huge win this weekend at the Waste Management Open. We also have some Super Bowl cleanup,

Speaker 2 some show news. Unfortunate show news.
We have some hot seat cool thrown, guys on chicks. Billy's in Florida, but he's zooming in.
We have the whole show. Get ready, a life after football.

Speaker 2 I'm not going back to college to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber One for students.
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Speaker 2 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 2 No place to hang a low washing.

Speaker 2 And then I can't name all of the slung. Oh no, we gotta rush it down to Elan Trick Avenue.

Speaker 2 And then we take it higher.

Speaker 2 Oh, we're gonna rock it down to Elan Trick Avenue.

Speaker 5 Welcome to part of my take presented by the Cash App.

Speaker 2 Go download it right now. Use code Barstool.
You get $10 for free, $10 to the ASPCA. Today is Wednesday, February 10th, and I have coronavirus.

Speaker 2 Oh, praise

Speaker 2 thanks for coming out, COVID.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so okay, so here is my, so in

Speaker 2 real talk, real quick real talk, then we're gonna, we'll, we'll have fun with the show. Uh, I'm okay, it sucks.

Speaker 2 I'm now isolated in a hotel room and basically not leaving until I start testing negative. Uh, it was also, you know, we, we, we did everything.
I wore a mask all the time. It just sucks.

Speaker 2 It is what it is. Um, didn't take it lightly.
It Wasn't like, I haven't been to a bar in a fucking year plus. I haven't been to a restaurant on any of that shit.
I basically go to work and go home.

Speaker 2 So it happened.

Speaker 2 You probably, I think some people kind of caught on to it because I just wasn't around. And also we're on Zoom.
So we'll be on Zoom probably for the rest of this week.

Speaker 2 Here is my one silver lining that I thought of. If you remember, around this time last year, it's a little bit long later, March.

Speaker 2 Right before the March, before the tournament, I said that if they don't play March Madness, I will inject myself with coronavirus.

Speaker 2 Well, they didn't play March Madness, and I didn't inject myself with coronavirus. So I think that getting it is finally karma.

Speaker 2 And on top of that, it means that we officially will have a March Madness tournament this year.

Speaker 5 Yeah, you would have absolutely opened yourself up for all sorts of hate if for some reason March Madness got delayed. There were logistic errors related to coronavirus.

Speaker 5 If that happened and you had not gotten coronavirus yet,

Speaker 5 the calls for you to like go to a packed restaurant down in Florida with Billy and just start sucking face with every co-ed that you see, like Morgan Waller,

Speaker 5 actually Hank, bleep his name out,

Speaker 5 would be would be astronomical. That's all that you'd hear.
So yes, I think in a weird way, it might portend good things. Now, I do hope that you're healthy.
I hope that you make a full recovery.

Speaker 2 Oh, I feel like shit.

Speaker 2 I feel terrible.

Speaker 5 Yeah. And I hope I'm not being rude.
Just in case you don't recover,

Speaker 5 would you want us to dig up your body and cut your pinky off make your team make your pick your pinky team right now for next year so we that we we know who to track it for oh okay my pinky team for next year will be

Speaker 2 oh

Speaker 2 well is this this is my pinky team if i'm dead yeah So I get to pick a different pinky team if I'm alive. All right.
You know what? Then

Speaker 2 do the Packers,

Speaker 2 if the Packers win the Super Bowl and if I die and the Packers win the Super Bowl, cut my pinky and throw it at Aaron Rodgers' face.

Speaker 5 There's like a 0.0005% chance that we have to do that.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I mean, look,

Speaker 5 we don't. We have the biggest episode in the history of the show.

Speaker 2 We don't take, we have not taken, you know, we've had fun because we're a fun show and we're, we're not trying to, you know, we take the piss out of pretty much everything, but this does suck.

Speaker 2 I do feel like shit. It sucks that it happened,

Speaker 2 but it's a pandemic. We're not COVID shaming.
I'm sure. Do you think that here's my one question.
Do you think the people that hate us will like shame me? Do you think they'll try and find a way?

Speaker 2 You think so? Oh, because that's fucking bullshit.

Speaker 5 Like, I'm Bryson DeCambo is going to have a highlight reel coming out in the next three days for sure.

Speaker 2 No, but I'm not like a 24-year-old kid who's like going to spring break or like going to Florida after he wins a fight against Jose Conseco and blacking out at a bar like and being irresponsible.

Speaker 2 I'm a fucking 36-year-old dad that went from work to home, work to home. And it was bound to happen if, you know, we had a couple work trips that took us out there.

Speaker 2 And that's part of, I made the calculated risk. I knew what was going to happen if I had to leave my little bubble.
I did it because I love my job and I wanted to keep working.

Speaker 2 And, you know, it sucks.

Speaker 5 Yeah. Actually, now is the most powerful time, I think, that you can issue a clear statement telling people and reminding them, wear a mask.

Speaker 2 Yeah, wear a mask.

Speaker 5 Wear a mask as a living.

Speaker 2 Mask up. Let's just say this, too.

Speaker 6 Can I do some PR real quick? No. I had COVID three weeks ago and like I didn't want to talk about it too much because oh that's weird.

Speaker 2 I wonder how I got it.

Speaker 6 Yeah, dude, you might have got it from me, but I went through points.

Speaker 2 You fucking dick.

Speaker 6 I don't, dude, I, dude, you were like in your mask. I didn't go near you.
Legitimately, I like, I'm

Speaker 2 shut up, Billy. Mute it.
I mean, I really mute it, Billy.

Speaker 5 Billy, Billy killing all of us would be one of those, it would be the ultimate, like, you get what you bargain for a moment.

Speaker 2 I also love that Billy just tried to go. He raised his hand and he said, can I do do some quick PR? And then just implicated himself in giving me coronavirus.
Like, thanks, dude. Appreciate it.

Speaker 2 The major chickens coming home to roost the moment for us for sure.

Speaker 5 Do you want me to bring like an Xbox to your hotel room?

Speaker 2 Do you want

Speaker 2 a book?

Speaker 2 I bought a book. No big deal.
I bought a book on my phone.

Speaker 2 No, I bought a book on my phone. I'm going to try to read it on my phone.
I'll let everyone know.

Speaker 2 If I can't read a fucking book stuck in a hotel in Manhattan for a week by myself, doing literally not going anywhere,

Speaker 2 then I think that might just be it for me and reading. It might just be Big Short was it.
And I was, I'm walking off off the show.

Speaker 5 So, so here's the thing: if Big Cat's got it, obviously, Hank, me, Jake are taking all the necessary precautions. That's why we're staying in our hotel room or in our in our apartments as well.

Speaker 5 Billy's in a hotel room doing God knows what, but um, we're we're gonna take it to we're getting tested all week long, but the chances of big cat having it, none of us having it, pretty low.

Speaker 2 So, um, we're in a wide situation.

Speaker 5 Hank is feeling sick, even though Hank does look like he is the ultimate Twitch gamer right now.

Speaker 5 Like, his stream room with the blue light, you just need like, you need neon, you need to uh wrap like neon lights around Normie and then just have him walking around the background to make it like a true Twitch room.

Speaker 2 But yeah,

Speaker 5 if you have it, like have you contacted Jose Conseco? Was he a

Speaker 2 close contact during the interview?

Speaker 5 I mean, at at least he doesn't have, he doesn't have any like pre-existing breathing conditions that we need to be worried about, does he?

Speaker 2 Yeah, listen, Jose Conseco, you now have been told I tested positive on Monday, but who knows?

Speaker 7 So might want to take the precaution.

Speaker 2 I don't think Jose Conseco respects COVID. I don't think he respects anything in his life.
Scumbag, but he now knows.

Speaker 5 The mask that he was wearing actually wasn't, it wasn't a COVID mask. That was just a sleep apnea device.

Speaker 2 Yes, yes. So we are taking every precaution.
You know,

Speaker 2 a lot of people who were on different trips have been sent home to quarantine for the week.

Speaker 2 And yeah, we'll be doing Zooms till at least the very earliest would be Sunday, but it probably won't even be, you know, probably be next week, Tuesday or something. So, all right.

Speaker 2 Should we talk about other things? And if I do survive, which I plan on surviving, I will be saying I'm a COVID survivor, just so everyone's clear.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I have one last question. So you still have your sense of taste, right? Yep.
That's a bummer.

Speaker 5 That's a bummer because if you needed help, like going on your diet, your post-Super Bowl diet, like I wish I didn't have a sense of taste right now. Because I've eaten salads two days in a row.

Speaker 5 My body has entirely rejected it. It ran through me like I was a goose.
It was bad. I wish I didn't have to eat this crap.

Speaker 2 Well, so here's the thing. I have a sense of taste, but I have zero appetite.

Speaker 2 I have a...

Speaker 2 Look at this, a big bag of pyris breed. This is all I've had in the last 48 hours.

Speaker 2 So every like three hours i'll just take a handful to see if i still have my sense of taste and i i guess we'll test right now live on camera this is electric

Speaker 5 all right he seems to be enjoying

Speaker 2 how he balls cheesy how many balls

Speaker 2 4.2 still cheesy yeah so i still but i don't have any appetite i haven't eaten anything do we need to send you some coochie does nobody get like like a uh a cancer treatment patient who needs to like stimulate their appetite i'm worried about you wasting away dude i'm gonna get hot i'm gonna going to come out of this hotel room hot, wearing the same clothes for fucking seven days straight, looking hot.

Speaker 2 All right, so let's talk about, let's do some Super Bowl cleanup. Want to do some Super Bowl cleanup? I still can't believe Billy just implicated himself.
Whatever.

Speaker 2 Let's do some Super Bowl cleanup.

Speaker 2 Did you see some ridiculous Tom Brady things that came out of this? The stat, 344 career games. His, and if you cut his career in half, he's a perfect 132 and 40 and 132 and 40.
How crazy is that?

Speaker 2 Wait, what?

Speaker 2 Tom Brady has played 344 regular season and postseason career games. If you cut his career games exactly in half, he's 132 and 40 and 132 and 40.
Is that insane?

Speaker 5 Yeah, that is crazy.

Speaker 2 That's witchcraft.

Speaker 5 That's turbo Eli Manning.

Speaker 2 Yeah, which actually he hasn't gotten better.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yep, he peaked.

Speaker 5 He peaked too early.

Speaker 2 Yeah. The other one was the story that came out that Tom Brady texted his entire team every night the week leading up to the super bowl just saying we will win and i i have to imagine that's got to be

Speaker 2 like in terms of text messages you can get that has to be the the single most like confidence inducing text message you can get from anyone at any point in your life tom brady just saying we will win Yeah, no, it's powerful.

Speaker 5 It's like, it's a very short to the point statement where I think if anybody else besides, like if Blaine Gabbert sent that text text message to everybody each night, you probably get less confident.

Speaker 5 When it's coming from Tom Brady, we will win, sounds extremely profound.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 5 It's like if the, if the, if someone who is like, if a poet says something that's just like a very plain,

Speaker 5 generic phrase, then everyone kind of ignores it.

Speaker 5 But if it, if it's at the end of like a fable involving a frog, a scorpion, and a fox trying to cross a river, then it's like, yep, that makes a lot of sense.

Speaker 2 Like it really hammers at home depending on who it's coming from yes like if tom brady texted me right now is like you will you will be better tomorrow i'll probably test negative tomorrow like that's that's i i i truly believe that he has those powers now it's just yeah everything defies logic when it comes to him it's like if it's tom brady

Speaker 5 and uh the guy with the big hands from shall how tony robbins Those two guys, if they sent me a text saying we will win, then I would absolutely believe it no matter what.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 5 I'm also, I'm pretty psyched about the parade that they're going to have in Tampa. They just announced today.
They're doing a boat parade.

Speaker 5 So beautiful boaters are going on the high seas, which I'm going to love seeing people like dress up their Tampa fishing vessels as pirate ships. It's going to be cool.

Speaker 5 It's going to be a very unique parade. So I'm glad that they're getting to do something out of it.

Speaker 2 Marines used to those.

Speaker 2 Well, and Hank, remember when we went down to Tampa for the for the Stanley Cup final game two in 2015, they dyed the ocean blue.

Speaker 7 They're going to die red.

Speaker 2 people, the great people at Tampa just sat there in awe as they're like, wow, could you look at that? Like, what's going on? Like, wait, also, the ocean blue.

Speaker 7 They also,

Speaker 7 I'm assuming that the boat they're going to be on is a pirate ship, right?

Speaker 5 It has to be.

Speaker 2 They have to rent.

Speaker 5 They have to rent the biggest commercial pirate ship that's available on the East Coast.

Speaker 2 They did this for the Lightning. The Lightning had a boat parade as well.
But yeah, they absolutely have to have it on a pirate ship.

Speaker 2 And I actually, I think that if you put Gronk on a pirate ship and you gave him a sword, and after the boat parade, you just kept on going out in the Atlantic, like he would be like, okay, we're just pirates now.

Speaker 2 Like, he would be down for just being a pirate.

Speaker 5 A million percent. Bruce Arrange has a barrel full of rum that he keeps with him on the captain's bridge.
I think that they should dye the ocean red. That'd be sick.

Speaker 5 Make it look like a big shark attack happened out there.

Speaker 2 That'd be very intimidating. Yes, yes.

Speaker 2 The other note I had, this one was

Speaker 2 Marcus Marcus Mosher tweeted this out. The

Speaker 2 last 12 Super Bowls, the leading rusher

Speaker 2 on the winning team, the highest salary was $2.5 million. Every other leading rusher was 2.5 or less.
So here are the leading rushers.

Speaker 2 Leonard playoff Lenny, Damian Williams, Sony Michelle, Leguerret Blunt, LeGuerret Blunt, C.J. Anderson, LeGuerret Blunt.
Wow, three times.

Speaker 2 Percy Harvin was the highest paid guy at 2.5, not even a running back. Ray Rice, Ahmad Bradshaw, James Starks, Pierre Thomas.

Speaker 2 I looked at that and I was like, I would love to see someone send that to Jerry Jones and just see what his reaction would be.

Speaker 5 I think he, yeah, he would be like,

Speaker 5 I want to pay all these guys on this list more money.

Speaker 2 More money than Zeke. Yeah.
But it is also...

Speaker 5 It makes sense. It makes sense.

Speaker 5 But like to us as dumb fans, we always are going to find that like one or two guys that we see as a running back that is currently a difference maker and just assume that this guy is going to be the same guy in four years?

Speaker 5 But in reality, like the window that you have as an NFL running back to be great is sometimes as small as like six weeks.

Speaker 5 Sometimes there's like a six-week period where you just get in the fucking zone and then you can cruise off that financially for the rest of your life.

Speaker 5 But it's not something where you're ever, it's actually very rare to have a running back that's the most dominant running back in the NFL for like three years.

Speaker 5 Like that, that is an outlier, even something that wide of a a gap. So it's like Derrick Henry's peak was probably like the last 16 months, and he'll probably not get back up to that ever again.

Speaker 2 It's also, we, you know, whenever Super Bowl happens, we try to like pick apart the team and try to understand exactly what made that team go.

Speaker 2 And there are certain things, you know, like paying a running back, the, you know, if the running back position is

Speaker 2 taking up a huge chunk of your, you know, dead cap or your salary cap, like, yes, it probably means the rest of your team is not that great.

Speaker 2 But when it all comes down to it, like a Super Bowl roster has talent everywhere, has to get lucky a few times. Like

Speaker 2 the fucking Bucks, Tristan Wurfs, who was their first-round draft pick last year out of Iowa, started every single snap and was like an incredible offensive lineman for them.

Speaker 2 Like you have to, though, you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 Like you, like those things have to happen for every, like when you look at every Super Bowl roster, it's not rocket scientists, you know, science to say that you have awesome blue chippers all over the field and it's not one position or one way of doing it that can make you a super bowl team like there's different ways to build a super bowl roster and trying to figure it out after the fact is always a fun exercise but it really kind of means nothing yeah i mean you you have to have like you have to strike while the iron's hot with the one roster that gets hot at the exact right time it's not like in baseball or it's not like in basketball where you can kind of pencil your way into being like yeah if we put this type of roster together, we can find ourselves at least in the final four every single year for the next six, seven years.

Speaker 5 You can't do that in football. It's impossible.
The only way you can do that is if you have Tom Brady on your team. If you got Tom Brady on your team,

Speaker 2 let me rephrase that.

Speaker 5 The only way you can do that is if your star quarterback has an alleged money laundering operation that's taking place as his company behind the scenes that you can funnel money to instead of spending cap hits on that.

Speaker 5 That's really what makes it the easiest way to get to the playoffs and to the Super Bowl in the NFL.

Speaker 2 Hey, Hank's looking at you like, what the fuck?

Speaker 5 What do you think, Hank?

Speaker 7 This is the first I've heard of what you're talking about.

Speaker 5 Yeah, actually, the reality is, like, the formula.

Speaker 7 You're taking what we said about LeBron and spinning it into an ugly place that I don't.

Speaker 2 You're right.

Speaker 5 TB12 is way different from Space Jam 2. But the real,

Speaker 2 I believe in TB12 now. Fuck that.
I'm

Speaker 5 in Space Jam 2 now.

Speaker 2 I might buy a TB12 book and just start dieting. I mean, we all know I'm not going to, but I'm going to say it.

Speaker 2 I have real formula.

Speaker 7 I've never opened it, but I have it. I can bring it in.

Speaker 5 The real formula is just having a star quarterback whose wife makes more money than him. And that way he can afford to take a pay cut.

Speaker 2 Yes, yes.

Speaker 2 Go ahead, Billy.

Speaker 6 Dude, the Bucks are just a Madden ultimate team. Just like such big pieces put together.
And you're like, remember they lost to the Giants?

Speaker 2 They didn't lose to the Giants. They lost to the Bears.

Speaker 6 Remember when they, you know, like were getting beat by the Giants and we're like, these guys suck. Like, they just didn't have chemistry.
And then they got together.

Speaker 7 They lost the Giants last year.

Speaker 2 Yeah. No, the Bucs.
I mean, it's actually

Speaker 2 the, yeah, that's true. Daniel Jones' first game.

Speaker 2 Brady was out of his mind from like the four weeks on, you know, the last four weeks on into the playoffs.

Speaker 2 And they, it is, I think Billy somehow got to like the correct point in that a lot of times when it comes to the Super Bowl, it is a lot about getting hot at the right time and playing your best football at the right time of year because Billy is right that like earlier in the year, the Bucs did look like a team that had a lot of issues and weren't on the same page.

Speaker 2 And if you get everything together come late December and you roll it into January, you can be the best team. And it's also weird because I think everyone now is like the Chiefs suck.
They don't suck.

Speaker 2 They need to get their offensive line healthy, but would you bet on Patrick Mahomes not being back in at least the AFC championship next year?

Speaker 5 I would. I think he's he's probably going to win a Super Bowl next year.

Speaker 2 Yeah, right, right.

Speaker 2 So, um, it's just the post the post-Super Bowl, like for those like two or three days after the Super Bowl when we pick apart the carcass of football because we all just want to keep talking football.

Speaker 2 It always just makes me laugh a little bit because it's, you know, we do what we do, it's hot takes.

Speaker 5 Do you think that the linebackers and like especially, I mean, JPP as a defensive lineman with one and a half hands had some interceptions this year. Devin White had great hands this year.

Speaker 5 Do you think that there's something to the fact that they got extra reps in practice the year before having Jameis Winston as a quarterback throwing a lot like doing a couple extra tip drills a game by accident or per practice?

Speaker 5 They get more reps in and that stuff translates into better hands in the long term. I think that Jameis should probably get a ring.

Speaker 2 Jameis should get a ring. Absolutely, Jameis should get a ring.

Speaker 2 I hope Jameis starts next year. The other notes I had for the Super Bowl cleanup, Hank, you officially,

Speaker 2 your fandom is on the hot seat because

Speaker 2 you were rooting, obviously, for Tom Brady, which is totally reasonable. But did you see afterwards Bruce Arians did an interview?

Speaker 2 And the reason, like, he put a lot of the team's success on giving days off to Tom Brady and Rob Grinkowski. I think Bruce Arians has got to be your favorite coach in the NFL now.

Speaker 7 Absolutely not. He's a douchebag.

Speaker 2 He was setting himself up.

Speaker 7 he was he was setting himself up all season when they were losing he was blaming it on brady and then when they win he's

Speaker 2 giving himself credit he was but he gives his he gives his guys days off he gives vacation days that's your style

Speaker 2 all right i mean that that's valid that's my point yeah i was like i read the article and i was like bruce arians essentially told tom brady whenever you need a day off just let me know and he told gronk whenever you need a day off we want you fresh for sunday we don't give a fuck about the weekdays and i thought of you right away i'm like this is

Speaker 7 bill what is bill belich no days off that's kind of how pft and i run this show we're i got covet right now what do you like a few days off every now and then i mean a few days off can really help someone's mental state uh the scientific studies show that but i do think that bruce arians was playing both sides all season long Yeah, no, that's because

Speaker 5 Bruce Arians thing is always like he's going to be hardest on his best players. And that's just who he is.

Speaker 7 It's also the uh, it's like what Barcelona does, where like you get unlimited vacation days, but if you take a vacation, like we're going to shame you.

Speaker 7 Like, I'm sure if Brady and Gronk weren't there, Bruce would have been like, Oh, Brady and Gronk weren't here, like, he would have, he would as well.

Speaker 5 Oh, I'd like to point out that we should be offering our thoughts and prayers to Hank as well, because Hank had a vacation planned this weekend. He was going to go to Florida, so he's the real

Speaker 7 because you had a vacation plan, PFT. I was

Speaker 2 okay.

Speaker 5 All right, so are you vacation shaming me now?

Speaker 2 No, I'm just like, I was piggybacking on your vacation.

Speaker 7 No, No, it's like one for all and all for one. Like if one of us takes a vacation, we should all take a vacation.

Speaker 7 I wasn't going to let you take a few days off without like, because obviously if we came back and it was like, how was your trip?

Speaker 7 And you had, you couldn't ask me how my trip was, like, that would have been so awkward.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.
So there was a moment.

Speaker 7 There was a moment at like, it was like us talking to Rhea. We're going to go to Florida, just like get away for a couple of days.
This is at like 10 a.m.

Speaker 7 I got on the train and then Big Cat texted us like an hour later. I was like, I have COVID.
So we didn't even book anything.

Speaker 2 So it's not that bad.

Speaker 5 Um, I would also like to point out that, Billy, how many wristbands do you have on right now?

Speaker 2 How many, how many different clubs have you been in that you haven't taken off?

Speaker 6 Dude, I

Speaker 6 have the antibodies.

Speaker 2 I like my life.

Speaker 6 Don't forget, I'm right for a fight with COVID.

Speaker 2 Like, fuck my life. You gave me COVID, and now you

Speaker 2 got your

Speaker 2 senior frogs. Fucking, oh my god, bro, dude.

Speaker 6 I have the antibodies.

Speaker 2 Pete, like,

Speaker 6 By the way, it killed my cardio and killed my weight. I literally dropped 10 pounds because of COVID.
It was crazy.

Speaker 2 Good thing that the guy you fought against took a dive.

Speaker 5 Okay, can we just be real here?

Speaker 2 Mark it down. Mark it down.
I said that I was going to say that Billy's a fucking asterisk.

Speaker 2 I said I was going to defend Billy's honor and say that he punched, knocked out Jose Gonseco

Speaker 2 on Sunday, and it took me two days to be like, you know what? Fuck you, Billy.

Speaker 6 He took a dive. No, dude, he didn't take it.

Speaker 2 I mean, he didn't. You beat him.

Speaker 6 The thing is, he just did, he thought that he could play, play around for, you know. Are you doing the interview again?

Speaker 2 Are you doing Sunday Night's interview again? I think you are.

Speaker 2 So, why would you tell us?

Speaker 5 What was your mindset like going into the fight?

Speaker 6 Honestly, I don't remember it on fucking Saturday on Sunday.

Speaker 6 And, you know, like, you're just trying to avoid like watching it because you're just like, oh, fuck.

Speaker 5 It was good. it was really good people liked it it was very very funny i know i was shat the fool

Speaker 5 good news is you you wouldn't have to report jose conseco as a close contact because you didn't spend enough time like

Speaker 5 you know what really sucks i

Speaker 6 buckled my septum in training i can't breathe out of my nose and i was hoping that i'd get beat up during the fight so i could like like expense get my nose fixed

Speaker 2 but you hit me

Speaker 2 you should have said that you should have just said that you got you got your septum fucked up. All right.
Let's do

Speaker 5 one more thing about Bruce Arians.

Speaker 5 I don't know if you've noticed this big cat, but if you look at his Twitter timeline, Bruce Air, the only thing that Bruce Arians has posted in like the last, I don't know, eight, nine months is just RIPs to different people.

Speaker 5 I think there are like 30 people that have died that Bruce Arians. I don't know if they're like all of Bruce Arians' friends are dying, if he's a serial killer.

Speaker 5 But if you scroll back, it's kind of ridiculous.

Speaker 2 Ooh, yeah.

Speaker 2 It's a lot. Yeah, you're right.

Speaker 2 You're right. You're right.
When you get older, shit.

Speaker 6 It's tough.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he's just using his Twitter to, he's basically the obituary section, which I was my, does anyone have the

Speaker 2 Washington Post on their hot seat?

Speaker 5 No.

Speaker 2 We'll get to that in a second. Let me do these ads real quick.

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Speaker 9 Hey, what's going on there, pal? We saw you at the hockey game on. Do I know you guys? I'm Ryan Whitney.
I got a drink named after me.

Speaker 2 Motel Big Deal. Pink Whitney?

Speaker 9 That's what I thought. See you, fellas.

Speaker 1 I invented the thing, you pigeon. Pink Whitney for legendary moments.

Speaker 2 Okay, hot seat, cool throne, Hank.

Speaker 7 Uh, my hot seat is any of you fucking idiots that believe the story, oh, you as in listeners, not that you guys are idiots, uh,

Speaker 7 but anyone out there that believe the story of the kid who, the streaker, there's a tweet going out that he bet $50,000 on the prop that there would be a streaker, and he only had to pay a thousand dollars to bail himself out.

Speaker 7 So he made like a crazy profit by doing that, which isn't possible because there's no chance you could bet that much on such a crazy prop.

Speaker 2 Right, right. First of all, they have the tweets on those prop bets.

Speaker 5 And then, second of all, if that were in fact the case and you were the streaker, there's no way in hell you're making a code like bleacher report bets to be like, hey, look at me.

Speaker 5 I just scammed this. You're keeping your mouth shut.
You're laying low for a long time.

Speaker 2 This is one of those stories that makes me confident in Barstool Sports and Penn and the Barstool Sportsbook app because I see other companies buy this stuff and I'm like, what do you, there's no way they let, I mean, they limit everything.

Speaker 2 They limit all the props. If you Gatorade, it'd be like saying, I bet on a prop for

Speaker 2 someone to win the Royal Rumble. Like, you can't, when things can be decided by humans outside of the actual sport, they limit them.
Of course, they do. So, this is crazy.

Speaker 2 Shame on anyone who bought that.

Speaker 7 Right. Also, my other hot seat, I have a few today, no big deal.

Speaker 7 Diane Sawyer.

Speaker 2 Oh,

Speaker 2 first of all,

Speaker 7 I thought she was dead.

Speaker 2 like i thought she was getting canceled post mostly but cool throne wait post mostly whatever post whatever it is but wait post post mostly post post mostly post post mostly okay i always get uh diane sawyer connie chung and barbara walters that's all just one

Speaker 7 uh like late 90s uh abc 60 minutes 2020 watching it after a football game wrapped into one yeah toss toss bet medler in there too because she kind of gives off that five yeah but uh there's like there's a new interview a new documentary about brittany spears and how she was like basically like the media like her up uh and diane sawyer was like one of the the main perpetrators so she was getting canceled not post mostly in irl

Speaker 2 mostly

Speaker 2 pre-mostly

Speaker 6 what do you say oh my god letterman too right Dave Letterman wins bullshit.

Speaker 7 That's just a that's a that's a separate. That's a Lindsey Lohan thing.
TikTok is trying to cancel David Letterman for a Lindsay Lohan interview, but that's like they took a clip.

Speaker 7 And if you watch the full interview, like the context is not really that bad. But if you watch just the TikTok, it's like, oh, it's fucked up.

Speaker 2 But it's really not. But Diane Sawyer actually is fucked up.

Speaker 5 I did watch some of that. And it's bizarre to me how much the media has changed since the late 90s.
Like basically everybody was treating Britney Spears like they were her mom.

Speaker 5 They were like, are you sure you should be wearing that on television? It was like a relatively low-cut shirt and she was like 19 years old. They were like, have you had sex yet?

Speaker 5 It's okay, okay, Brittany, you can tell me if you've had sex. It's like skin-crawling stuff to be saying to like a kid that would never, ever, ever be said like now.

Speaker 5 So, it's like crazy to see how much that's changed. And did you see the Justin Timberlake interview where uh they were asking

Speaker 5 about the breakup, and then they asked Justin Timberlake about Janet Jackson's nipple?

Speaker 5 And he was like, Well, yeah, I mean, I do kind of feel bad, but also when you think about it, we still haven't found those weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. So,

Speaker 5 like the best, the best spin zone ever.

Speaker 2 It is crazy too, because the internet has like made culture just, we're in hyperspeed.

Speaker 2 So when you say early 2000s, you're like, oh, that's not that, that doesn't feel that long ago, but it's really, really long ago in terms of like cultural norms and everything everyone was doing, just because it feels like every month in the internet is basically a year.

Speaker 5 Yeah, and when they were doing those interviews with Spears back in the day, I remember watching because I was like, I don't know, a few years younger than Britney Spears, but there's nothing that i wanted to see happen less than for britney spears to stop dressing up like a skank that was like the most important part of my day would be to be like oh look at this cool picture britney spears doesn't she look hot yep yeah

Speaker 5 i got so mad i was like please please don't scare her out of uh out of exploring and showing off her body right talk

Speaker 2 with carson daly after every uh yeah after school every day

Speaker 7 uh and then my cool throw and talking about celebrities internet culture is uh kim kardashian West. Although, isn't she not in Kardashian West anymore?

Speaker 2 Do they get?

Speaker 2 Did they cancel their marriage? We should start saying that, by the way, just cancel for everything. Just using this image.

Speaker 2 It's called divorce. It's actually, yeah, they've canceled their marriage.

Speaker 2 Canceled their love.

Speaker 7 It's still her Twitter name. And she posted a tweet today, really inspirational.
It's her and Courtney on a yacht in bathing suits. And it says, somehow in this crazy life, we found each other.

Speaker 2 Which, Courtney and Kim, Courtney and Kim, the sisters,

Speaker 2 yes, sisters.

Speaker 2 Somehow, they found each other.

Speaker 7 So, I'm just cool throwing her. I'm happy for them.

Speaker 5 When your mom and OJ Simpson love each other very much, they get together and not

Speaker 2 later. That's uh, that's Chloe.

Speaker 5 I think they all are. I don't know.

Speaker 2 No, it's

Speaker 2 no, Chloe. Chloe's actually confirmed.
Well, not confirmed, Hank.

Speaker 2 Hank, not confirmed at all.

Speaker 2 It's confirmed that it's alleged. Did you also see

Speaker 2 Kim Kardashian had the picture of her seven-year-old north

Speaker 2 yeah the drawing that looked like it was a monet and she's like look at what look at what my seven-year-old just whipped up in art school yeah

Speaker 5 i bet you kanye did it i bet you kanye did it or he paid somebody to do it and then sent her home with and be like look what look what your daughter's capable of when she's around me unlocking the best parts of her artistic mind it must be so nice though to be that like you have i don't know what does she have a hundred million Instagram followers, you can just throw something up, you're never going to look at dimensions, so what does it matter?

Speaker 2 Just say that your kid did it.

Speaker 5 Are they going to keep the name, the last name West, for the kid? Because North Kardashian doesn't really make it doesn't slap as much as Northwest does. No,

Speaker 7 I think the kids, whatever you're born with, is their last name.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I don't think you change that in a cancellation of love,

Speaker 2 right?

Speaker 2 Uh, PFT.

Speaker 5 Uh, my hot seat is math.

Speaker 5 Math is on the hot seat big time

Speaker 5 because they put out a statistical analysis of everything that happened when coaches went for two points or kicked an extra point this year.

Speaker 5 I love looking at these at the end of every season because they involve doing the most simple form of math possible, I think. And they're always about the same.
So it's 93% of extra points were made.

Speaker 5 That's down like 1% almost from last year. And then 48% of two-point conversions were completed.
So you would think that it'd be pretty easy if you were a head coach to be like, well,

Speaker 5 what's more?

Speaker 5 48% of two points or 93% of one point? And then realize that they should go for two every single time. But they won't do it.
It's not going to happen.

Speaker 5 It's going to take like one coach who just never kicks an extra point.

Speaker 5 And especially if you have like a good, if you have a good offense, I'm sure that the number is above 50% on two-point conversions.

Speaker 5 Because remember, with this 48%, you're also taking into account, I don't know, like teams like the Houston Tech.

Speaker 5 Oh, I guess their offense is pretty good, but you're taking into account like the Jets. The Jets are rolled into that 48% in hyperdrive.

Speaker 5 So if you have a good offense, you should absolutely go for two points every single time.

Speaker 5 And I was actually just thinking about like, if you went back 30 years, or let's say you went back to like the 60s and they had the two-point conversion option out there.

Speaker 5 Do you think that there's any football coach that that would ever say like hey i think i'll take my football team off the field and send out my eastern european kicker with one shoe to attempt something that's worth one point it's like the least football guy thing you can do ever to kick an extra point instead of going for two and just like running the ball up the middle uh but it's because like it's been that way for so long that now it's now it's the conservative thing to do to send your like little pansy kicker out there to kick an extra point right it's actually the least football guy thing to do to go for two because that's a nerd thing yeah it's totally flipped right yeah no i agree with you that's that's interesting to think about like if they were if the rules were just if they had introduced a kick

Speaker 2 after like if they had just started the first 20 years of football it was two point conversions or nothing and then all of a sudden they started doing kicks no one would kick ever it would be it would be a forgotten rule let's just say like they introduced the uh extra point kick after the World Cup was in America.

Speaker 5 And they're like, we've got soccer fever. Let's keep this going because people love seeing kick.
And

Speaker 5 coaches would not have a kicker on the roster. They'd be like, fuck you.

Speaker 2 Actually, I might have, we might have fucked up because I wouldn't be shocked if the extra point didn't exist first. It probably didn't, right? I don't know.

Speaker 5 Well, because back in the day, it was worth more to kick a field goal than it was to score a touchdown.

Speaker 2 Huh. Okay, we'll have to look into the, I'll look into it when we do,

Speaker 2 when we do the Brooks interview there. Or Jake, you look into it.
Look into it right now. 1958.

Speaker 2 1958 was

Speaker 2 when the kick was implemented.

Speaker 5 Beginning in 1958, the scrimmage play conversion method of scoring became worth two points, a two-point conversion. That was two points.

Speaker 2 Ah, that's what happened. Okay.
Okay, that makes sense. So it was always like you would go for a two-point conversion, but it was one point.
And then they finally made it two.

Speaker 2 And people still weren't like, hey, maybe we should start doing this. yeah

Speaker 2 how many points would they how many points would they have had to make it for for a coach like four and be like oh actually this is a good idea no probably i think it'd have to be like five and a half yeah

Speaker 2 so so ridiculous so backwards uh was that you have a cool throne yeah my cool throne is uh actually no i was going to do i was going to put uh our beautiful boaters on the cool throne for the boat parade which i'm very excited about although you know what sucks about this though how are they going to be able to toss beers to rob grokowski and a shotgun from the from the land from the land do they have a big enough arm yeah yeah the the the um if it's anything like the lightning boat parade it's they like go down like a little canal and people can throw at them wait okay so

Speaker 2 Billy, you're not going to the boat parade.

Speaker 5 Billy's like, I can be your correspondent for this giant party.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Tomorrow.
Billy, you're not even close to Tampa right now.

Speaker 6 I don't care.

Speaker 5 I'll drive.

Speaker 2 No, you won't. You couldn't even get on a plane today.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 I might actually end up driving home because I can't deal with planes and organizing stuff.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Wow.
That's so stressful. Your life is so crazy.

Speaker 2 All right. My hot seat is,

Speaker 2 oh, the Washington Post. So, Marty Schottenheimer, all-time football guy, R.I.P., passed away today.
He had been sick.

Speaker 5 It was really sad. I watched a video.

Speaker 2 They did a like Tom Rinaldi piece a few years ago.

Speaker 2 He had Alzheimer's. Really, really sad.

Speaker 2 A legendary coach, seventh in all-time wins, 200 wins, turned around four different franchises. You know, I mean, he made he took the Browns to two AFC championship games.
Think about that.

Speaker 2 He took the Chargers to

Speaker 2 14 and 2 season. Like, he was the Chiefs in the 90s, all these things.
Great coach. Washington Post decided

Speaker 2 to do a headline for his obituary. Marty Schottenheimer, NFL coach whose teams wilted in the postseason, dies at 77.

Speaker 2 So that was, I do really believe that the headline writer lost a bet.

Speaker 2 Like one of those teams that Marty Schottenheimer had like 13 and three, Joe Montana, like he lost a bet and he's been waiting for Marty Schottenheimer to pass away to then throw that out there.

Speaker 2 Cause that feels like hell hath no fury like a scorned gambler. That's what that feels like to me.

Speaker 5 It does feel like a grudge headline. Because if you're just a football fan, that's not even the first thing I think about with Marty Schottenheimer at all.

Speaker 5 Like I would like, the top three things that would come to my mind would not involve him choking away things in the playoffs because

Speaker 5 he had some like shitty kickers that messed things up for him at times. Like, Marty Ball.

Speaker 5 Marty Ball is fun, man.

Speaker 5 If you choose to embrace establishing the run, Marty Schottheimer,

Speaker 5 Marty Schottheimer invented running the football as far as I'm concerned. So, yeah, it is fucked up.
It could be Dan Snyder probably paid somebody at the Washington Post to write that headline.

Speaker 5 Dan Snyder is probably the only person person in America that's bitter at Marty Schottenheimer because they had a grudge after Marty.

Speaker 5 I think Marty claimed Deion Sanders or somebody off waivers at his next job and wouldn't let Dan Snyder pick them off. So I think that they've got like a long-standing beef.

Speaker 5 But if you find yourself on the same side as Dan Snyder in any argument, you're already fucked up. I'd like to polish my fact earlier.
College football was 1958.

Speaker 5 The NFL adopted the two-point conversion in 94.

Speaker 5 What? Right.

Speaker 5 Yeah, the two-point conversion came much, much later.

Speaker 2 Oh, I mean, I guess we're nine years old. I guess I don't know if that's what I remember that.

Speaker 5 Yeah, yeah, but that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 5 Like, coaches are like, oh, this is one of those newfangled, like, if it, if they, if it happened today, a coach would be like, oh, it's this new TikTok rule, you know?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Like, oh, it's this, it's one of these internet rules that they tell you to do when you get an AOL CD delivered to your mailbox. They probably saw it as like an advancement in technology.

Speaker 5 So they were like, no, thank you. Not going to do that.

Speaker 2 You know what I just did? I did what we do to younger kids who assume that the yellow line has always existed.

Speaker 2 That isn't the first timeline. I just did that.
Like there's people who've watched football their whole life.

Speaker 2 They're like, whoa, like you, you, you actually don't remember when it was a two-point conversion.

Speaker 2 I've had that conversation with people who don't remember when the yellow line was introduced because I remember it so vividly and being like, oh my God, everything has changed.

Speaker 5 Do you remember when they reintroduced instant replay?

Speaker 2 Yeah, yes. That was wild.

Speaker 5 So like instant replay was one of those things that I think they started for the first time, like, a long, long time ago.

Speaker 5 But the camera that they were shooting on it with, like, if it's the worst camera that you could, it was useless. You couldn't rewind it.
You couldn't see shit on it.

Speaker 5 So, back in, like, I don't know, the 70s or 80s or whenever it was, they're like, we're going to push pause on that until our cameras get better.

Speaker 5 I think, I think, mid-90s. I think it was right around the same time as the two-point conversion.

Speaker 2 Yes. The last thing I had with Marty Schottheimer, I just forgot that the absolute pinnacle of coach looks will forever be the 90s when it comes to the script hat and the starter jacket.

Speaker 2 That is the coolest that coaches will ever look in any sport ever.

Speaker 2 Like they're just when you see those pictures of Marty Schottenheimer on the Chiefs headline sideline and the huge fucking jumbo headsets,

Speaker 2 the coolest you could ever look. I missed those days.
I wish guys would wear starter jackets again.

Speaker 5 I would add in the buddy Ryan look when he had the real thick glasses. When you get a coach that's got like these glasses that are five inches thick, wonder how he sees through them.

Speaker 5 Combine that with a giant hat, huge headphones. It's like that look for me in football.
And then the

Speaker 5 like

Speaker 5 Will Wade type sweating through your undershirt look for a college basketball coach. That's what I'm thinking.

Speaker 2 I'm pretty sure Buddy Ryan had the starter jacket look too. So we had like a cross.
Well, he had like the

Speaker 2 maybe not the puffy starter jacket that I'm thinking of, but the precursor to that starter jacket that also was fucking it might have been the pro player jacket.

Speaker 2 My cool throne is Joe Pesci trending on Twitter. I don't really know.
Was he trending for why was he trending on Twitter? His house. He was trending because his house.

Speaker 2 Okay, so it was his house. I thought it was something else.
His house, I looked at those pictures. Joe Pesci's shore house.

Speaker 2 that he bought in 1994 and has never updated makes him the coolest person in the world.

Speaker 2 He already was pretty fucking cool, but the fact that, like, it's a time capsule to Joe Pesci in the 90s is so fucking badass. And I love Joe Pesci for it.

Speaker 2 And buying that house, like, that house should go for $10 million over ass just because of, and I hope the person who buys it doesn't touch a goddamn thing. Just make it a Joe Pesci museum.

Speaker 5 Yes, it's awesome. I love it because his entire house is a man cave that like the biggest Joe Pesci fan would want.

Speaker 5 So like, who's the richest Joe Pesci fan in the world? Because that's the guy that needs to buy the house. Like, I feel like Bon Jovi is probably a huge Joe Pesci fan.

Speaker 5 Glenny Balls, we should do a GoFundMe.

Speaker 5 And all the money should go to Glenny Balls to be able to purchase this home and live in it and just make content out of the house.

Speaker 5 I guarantee you, if you gave Glenny Balls this house, he would find something new and cool that would make him giggle every day for like 25 years, pay for himself.

Speaker 2 Agreed. Agreed.
Absolutely has to happen. Billy, I'm scared to even ask you if you have a hot seat cool throne.

Speaker 6 Yeah, did you just see what Jose tweeted

Speaker 6 okay so the answer is you don't uh what did he tweet he tweeted something really fucking weird dude oh no way jose can seiko yeah he tweeted wait for it wait for it let's find out what really happened here did anyone ever see me get hit in the face at all wait for the truth it's coming to a theater near you the fuck

Speaker 2 did you

Speaker 2 i mean I don't pay him to take a dive?

Speaker 6 Yeah, no, I did not pay him to take a dive, but it's like, it's just so fucking annoying. Now it's sort of sinking in what the fuck just happened.

Speaker 2 What do you mean?

Speaker 7 What was going through your mind on the night of the fight, Billy?

Speaker 6 Dude, I was

Speaker 6 wartime, bro. Like, yeah, I legitimately just

Speaker 6 got to the point in my head where I just felt no fear. And I was just, my fight plan was to throw 140 punches around.
Like, when you have a three, one-minute rounds, like, you know,

Speaker 6 yeah, cardio is not a deal, but if you came out and like sprint fighting,

Speaker 6 it's different than, you know, fighting for multiple rounds, like,

Speaker 6 like, boxing is like a marathon, right? But, like, right,

Speaker 6 we were doing it, it's a sprint. So, I trained to sprint fight, which is just tucking your chin and throwing as many punches as you can.

Speaker 2 Do you think, like, for real, though, that he had any idea that you were going to do that to him? I think he,

Speaker 6 this is what I think happened, right? From my point of view, I stepped in the ring to fight.

Speaker 6 I came in, I literally, once I got hit by him and realized like he doesn't have this crazy power he was talking about, I went and threw my one-twos down the pipe, got wrapped up with him.

Speaker 6 And like I worked on in camp, if he was going to try to wrestle me, I was going to bounce out and hit him with the hooks on the inside real quick.

Speaker 6 And then he just, once he realized that I was going to be able to dismantle him, he went down.

Speaker 2 And then I'm i'm getting i got angry because i was so wound up and i was like is this guy gonna wait did i just cut out did i just cut out yeah oh all right let's do that again billy three two one guys so billy what did it feel like uh when you were going up against jose that night guys i was

Speaker 2 did you actually just answer those two questions

Speaker 2 i was interested into what he was saying right there because you

Speaker 2 had to go off stream he was laughing so hard the thing is i actually got him twice

Speaker 6 i don't i'm gonna be like i didn't think he knew i was like an athlete at all and when i was taller than him before the fight i saw him he was low-key like he was trying to talk trash to me the night before the fight and i was like

Speaker 2 did he come up did he come up to you yeah he came up to me

Speaker 6 so good to and i was just like like i in my

Speaker 6 i was like i just was cool calm and collected because i like i was shitting myself like two weeks before the fucking fight like right but i had to like you didn't have anxiety attacks did you

Speaker 2 i did bro i would wake up

Speaker 2 yeah man like what the fuck like are you kidding like how many times do you think like in the next month we can do this with billy just get him to tell retell the fight no no serious seriously billy yeah like when you saw him when you saw him at the weigh-in weren't you a little

Speaker 5 Weren't you a little intimidated though? Because he's tall. He's taller than me.
He's like a big dude.

Speaker 2 No, I'm taller than him. That's what people

Speaker 6 once I realized I had reach on him, I was like, I'm going to fuck this guy up.

Speaker 6 Because the guys I'd been fighting and sparring,

Speaker 6 going up to the camp, like I legitimately, the first week of my sparring, guys were teeing off on me because one, they were pissed that this kid who like never boxed before got a shot at that money.

Speaker 6 And they like thought I was a huge pussy. So I was getting my ass beat for a fucking month leading up to this fight.

Speaker 6 And that's when I knew like he wasn't going to be be able like what like you know when you get the confidence like yeah i wasn't a good boxer but i could fucking get hit in the face and throw punches i was ready to go into the fucking fight but but no like actually this is a totally real question because i feel like everyone going into the fight was like once jose will just fucking one punch knock him out yeah did he not did he not have power Everyone was talking about this punch power.

Speaker 6 When he hit me with his jab, right, it was a punch, but like, you know, I had taken a tons of punches going like up to the fight.

Speaker 6 It was like, once he punched me, I realized the fucking wizard behind the curtain was fucking just a man. I fucking went after him, and that's what it was.

Speaker 6 Knocked his ass out, but you do, but from like a it just sucks he quit because that's he didn't give me he literally what happened was he didn't take a dive, he just didn't give me

Speaker 2 quit like

Speaker 5 but like from a mindset mentality like where was it where you did you get to berserker berserker mode?

Speaker 6 Yeah, I did. I fucking did.

Speaker 6 It was crazy. Like, I was just locked in.
And, you know, like, it was, the whole thing's been so crazy. It's just like, you know.

Speaker 7 But what's your hot seat?

Speaker 6 My hot seat's COVID because Big Cat's going to kick his ass.

Speaker 2 Oh, that's really fucked up to say after you gave it to me. Oh, wait, no, you said big, I'm going to kick it.
I have COVID, brain. I reversed it on myself.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I have COVID, brain.

Speaker 5 Sorry, we got just anytime you fuck up, just say that you have long COVID.

Speaker 2 No, I did.

Speaker 6 You got COVID that got sass kicked.

Speaker 2 I spelled the first time when I was like, I didn't have any symptoms on Sunday. I mean, I just felt like run down.

Speaker 2 But when I had a tweet that I spelled note as not twice in a tweet, and someone's like, dude, how'd you spell that wrong twice? And I was like, wait, what?

Speaker 2 So that guy's pretty much a doctor. That's all I got from that.

Speaker 2 Billy, anything else on the phone?

Speaker 6 Dude, he literally saw that

Speaker 6 my team's T was just too fucking high.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Well, also,

Speaker 2 he's not like low-key. He's not as tall as I thought he was.

Speaker 6 Dude, I have the best friends and family in the world, and I couldn't have done it without them. Like, you know, the love I

Speaker 6 like, some dude sent me a

Speaker 6 some dude sent me a custom country album playlist.

Speaker 2 Like, that's like, what?

Speaker 6 Dude, I made this playlist for you. I think it'd be awesome.

Speaker 2 Holy shit. A physical playlist?

Speaker 6 Like, the love, like, the love I've been seeing. I just love everybody who chose so much.

Speaker 2 That's deep love. Is it a CD?

Speaker 6 It was, no, it was a Spotify playlist, but it's just.

Speaker 2 Oh, fuck, dude. That's deep love.

Speaker 6 I know, but, bro, like, like, you know, everyone was ready to go to war with me, and it's insane.

Speaker 7 You know, it's just where do you go from here, Billy?

Speaker 6 Dude, I missed. What's next? I miss my fucking dog.
I missed my Spot Rack in Warzone.

Speaker 2 Yep.

Speaker 6 And, you know, it's just crazy.

Speaker 5 What are you going to buy with the $50,000, Billy?

Speaker 6 Bro, I almost dropped a bag.

Speaker 2 Me and New Heart after you gave me COVID?

Speaker 2 Dude, you're... New lungs.
New lungs. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Yeah, but it's just crazy. And I thank you guys so much.
This one happens.

Speaker 5 Billy, you didn't answer the question. What are you going to buy?

Speaker 6 Bro, I tried to get the Cobra, but they're illegal in New York.

Speaker 2 No!

Speaker 2 So like, yo, can you ship it to New York?

Speaker 7 And they're like, killing raccoons. That didn't stop you.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 So is passing COVID? No, killing bats.

Speaker 7 Killing bats. Sorry.

Speaker 6 Dude, don't say that. It's legitimately a crime to kill bats.

Speaker 7 Oh, sorry.

Speaker 2 Allegedly.

Speaker 5 It's just crazy.

Speaker 2 All right, let's get to our interview with Brooks. PFT, you got some with whoop, right?

Speaker 5 Yeah, so I'm rocking my whoop right now. We're all training, actually i'm on team bulk right now so i'm putting on i'm putting on some uh clean weight

Speaker 6 captain i forgot you got any tips yeah

Speaker 5 have you been creatine loading i have been taking creatine i've just been eating clean i just eat clean i'm a clean

Speaker 5 clean you dirty bulk we're dirty bulking for this i dirty bulked last week now i'm cycling into clean no you're dirty bulking still Okay, so my doctor, my dietician Billy, has told me that my diet's over.

Speaker 5 Thank you, Billy. Two days sucked, but I'm back.
I'm bulking up now, and everyone's out there recovering from an exciting weekend.

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See out for details.

Speaker 5 And now, Bruce Kipka.

Speaker 2 Okay, we now welcome on one of our best friends in the entire world, future Blake of the Year, hopefully,

Speaker 2 just coming off waste management.

Speaker 2 What? I root for all the Blakes. I want all the Blakes to do well.
Just coming off Waste Management Championship, won a trophy back in the winner's circle, even though that doesn't exist in golf.

Speaker 2 It is Brooks Kepka, our guy.

Speaker 2 Brooks, how are you feeling? Let's do that. Let's do a shitty journalist question.
How are you feeling? I feel a lot better today than I did yesterday morning when I woke up. I can promise you that.

Speaker 2 Yesterday was a bit of a struggle.

Speaker 2 Fought through it, though, and backed. You know, that's what winners do.
Just keep, just keep plugging along. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Yeah. How does the body feel?

Speaker 5 That's another good one to ask is just like physically from a physical standpoint. I saw, you know, the last time we saw you, I guess this was at the U.S.
Open.

Speaker 5 You're getting your knee tugged out of place.

Speaker 5 Are you feeling all right? Everything back into position?

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, everything's back. It's all good.

Speaker 2 It'll be all right. I'm surviving.

Speaker 2 Well, so I actually wanted to talk about that because I know that, you know, you're a very cool guy and you make golf look easy, but I did read the quotes that there was some dark days in 2020 because your knee wasn't really responding the way you needed it to, and it felt like it was a longer journey than you expected.

Speaker 2 Was there ever a point where you're like, I may never be back? Like, this might not work out. Like, I'm not going to be Brooks Kepka anymore.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I thought maybe the only shot of winning anything was blake of the year for the rest of my career which i mean it's not a bad thing it's not a knock on blake of the year but i thought that that was that was my best chance going forward but no it was um dude it was a pain in the butt i literally just every day it was just stiff i couldn't do anything waking up you know trying to walk around was difficult enough and then you start getting in the weight room and it's just it feels like my knee was going to go sideways um it's just not a fun feeling oh you know what what's a great story maybe we can tell here is, you know, a lot of the haters out there, a lot of the knock against against Blake from people that don't know what they're talking about, they would be like, oh, Brooks doesn't love golf like we do, or he doesn't love golf like everybody else should love golf.

Speaker 5 Did this injury give you a newfound love for the game of golf?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I mean, I always, it's always one of those things. It's a love-hate relationship, though, but...
you know, it's my job at the end of the day. I mean, yeah, you love your job.

Speaker 2 I like doing it, but at the same time, it can be very repetitive, um, you know, just doing it day in, day out, and especially when you're uh sucking at it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so did it, you know, you're a guy who I mean, you're my fan favorite.

Speaker 2 I think there's a lot of people who root for you because you're a refreshing, uh, honest guy when it comes to like interviews and media.

Speaker 2 Was there a moment though, because it felt like there were some guys that took their shots at you when you were down, knowing that you were down. Did you feel? Did you like read those?

Speaker 2 And you're like, all right, come on, I'm gonna be back eventually. Like, this is eventually, I'm gonna come back.
I'm gonna be fuck you, Brooks Kepka tour.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, no, I mean, I saw, I saw a few of them, it's fine. Hey, listen, I've I've been known to take my shots, they can take their shots too.
It's cool. Um, I can live with them, big boy.

Speaker 2 I love that. That makes you better than everyone else, just so you know.
Yeah, listen, at the end of the day, I mean, I'm a sports fan too.

Speaker 2 I can't tell you how many times I've yelled at the TV because LeBron James has missed a shot or somebody else has done something. And I mean,

Speaker 2 it's part of sports, man.

Speaker 5 Yes. I love that.
Yeah. So I saw that you won, I think it was a $1.3 million check.
That's pretty cool. Did you think about asking it for like the check in Bitcoin or Dogecoin or something like that?

Speaker 2 I would have. I should have.
Actually, that would have been great.

Speaker 2 Man, I could have turned that real quick into some good money.

Speaker 5 I think if you just say the word Dogecoin, then it's going to jump up at least like five cents a share.

Speaker 7 Yeah, I'll say so.

Speaker 2 That's kind of how it works. I know.

Speaker 2 My brother was on one about two weeks ago. I mean, he was just sitting there watching it.
I'm like, dude, it's like midnight. Relax.

Speaker 2 Markets open yet. Like, you'd be all right.
Dogecoin never sleeps. Dogecoin never sleeps.
Does that get as like you've won, obviously, big tournaments before. You've won majors, but I have to imagine.

Speaker 2 Like when you're walking off of 18 and you're like, wait, 1.3 million in a four days work, uh you know that's pretty damn good like does that ever get old or is that still just the coolest feeling in the world it is a really cool feeling i'm not gonna lie uh just trying to think of what i can i mean it was like jose he got paid like what 150k per second um i mean that's pretty good

Speaker 2 for taking a dive and by the way he owes you guys what two grand to the barstool fund for taking that dive he owes you a thousand

Speaker 2 i highly doubt he's gonna pay it yeah i don't think so kid i love how he put yeah i love how he PFT in the box.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. He kept, he, he totally bought that PFT and I were different ages.
Like, you know, I was a decade older. He's like, you know, the adults are talking here.
Jose's not exactly a smart guy.

Speaker 2 It's funny you bring that up, though, because everyone loved our interview with Billy Football on Monday

Speaker 2 after his win on Friday night. He was very drunk when we interviewed him on Sunday night.

Speaker 2 We actually talked to you on FaceTime on Sunday night. I think you were just as drunk as Billy Football.

Speaker 2 I was enjoying myself i was having a good time

Speaker 2 i think i was we should have recorded 1.3 million on on nickel ultra and uh

Speaker 2 we should have recorded it because we could have had you we could have done the same thing the three two one all right brooks here we go and just kept on asking you the same questions yeah oh yeah you could ask me the same question i'd asked i answered it differently every time

Speaker 5 Yeah, you know what's, you know what I love about like guys like you and just most athletes in general, I've started to realize that when they accomplish something, when they win a big championship or when they do something they didn't think that they could do before, their big celebration is just like ours.

Speaker 5 They just want to go out and drink like 20 beers. It's great.
It's kind of refreshing to see that. So like you go to the bar, you just won a tournament.

Speaker 5 And at the end of the day, you're still like, hey, just let me get seven pitchers and I'll be happy.

Speaker 2 Yeah, exactly. Just like everybody else, that's what people forget.
Just because you see me on TV and you see me doing this stuff, I'm just,

Speaker 2 I drink Mikhail Voltra the same way you drink.

Speaker 5 Yeah, bloggers too. It's crazy.
People come up to us in bars. They're like, we thought you'd be, you know, like drinking the martinis that they make with gold dust in them.

Speaker 5 It's like, nope, just load me up with Corsair. I'm a happy boy.

Speaker 2 Oh, yep.

Speaker 2 I'm just looking to get drunk. That's it.
Yeah. Yes.
All right, Brooks. I don't want to get you in any trouble, but we also, you know, us, we're not huge golf nerds.
We love watching you.

Speaker 2 We love watching majors. Explain to us if you were, let's take Patrick Reed's side.
Let's do that so that won't get you in trouble.

Speaker 2 Yeah, explain to us what everything he did correctly when he, when the ball snafu happened last week. Everything he did correctly.
He called a rules official, so that was correct. He marked the ball.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. He marked the ball.
He asked the question if it was plugged. So that was good.

Speaker 2 And then

Speaker 2 he followed what the rules official said when he said it was embedded.

Speaker 2 That was the only thing that he did correctly.

Speaker 2 What about the drop?

Speaker 5 Did he execute the drop correctly? Like he dropped it from the right.

Speaker 2 Yeah, actually, yeah, he did do that. He dropped it correctly.
Yeah, he dropped it from the like knee height. So that was good.
Okay.

Speaker 5 Well, I mean, a lot of golfers, I think you're kind of alluding to this too. You're saying that you can't embed a ball off of a second bounce.

Speaker 5 Aren't you just kind of telling on yourself for not hitting shots hard enough that they stick into the ground of that bounce?

Speaker 2 What amazes me is that I don't think anybody knows this, but like where he hit it was like the highest point in the whole golf course.

Speaker 2 It was like,

Speaker 2 it was like everything runs away from that. And that's like the highest point at Tori Pines.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 2 He's incredible. Yeah.
What you're basically saying is Patrick Reed is incredible. And I agree.
He's incredible. He's an incredible golfer.
I hope you're okay with us. He's probably our number two.

Speaker 5 It's you and then him just because he's such a bad boy.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I like Patrick, but I mean,

Speaker 2 yeah, with the whole Sandcastle thing that happened, you know, he's playing in the sands

Speaker 2 with it at Hero, and then

Speaker 2 this one, yeah,

Speaker 2 not the best of looks, I guess. No, I'd agree.
I'd agree. That's a fair way to put it.
So how, like, when shit like that happens, do you guys talk in the clubhouse?

Speaker 2 They're like, can you believe this guy didn't do this? Or like, are you, are, are guys genuinely upset when the rules aren't followed like to a T out on the golf course?

Speaker 2 Yeah, so I guess this is what got me thinking.

Speaker 2 I was talking to, I think, Rory about it later on or last week um before it's like okay that's great when the cameras are on but when the cameras are off us on a sunday when you're in like 30th position like what really happens yeah good point yeah because that's that's a lot of money on the line like 30 between 30th and 40th like that's actually a really good point but like what happens to the guy where i mean later down the year and you know the last tournament of the year the guy that finishes 126 did he you know it's one of those things did someone cheat him out of something?

Speaker 2 You never know. I mean, you never know.
It's a bunch of what-ifs, but you feel bad if that was to happen to the guy. That's a good point, though.
And that's a fair, it's a fair thing to say.

Speaker 2 Like, that's where, where it really hurts that people don't really think about it. And that's where it's like, everyone needs to be on the up and up.
Yeah, I mean, the golf.

Speaker 2 I mean, I think

Speaker 2 you could do it if you really wanted to.

Speaker 2 But I don't know. I just couldn't.

Speaker 2 I couldn't do it. I couldn't move it myself.

Speaker 5 And there's no chance, like, you can't monitor everybody all the time in in that sport. There's just too much going on, unless every player had like body cams and then it got to be reviewed

Speaker 5 at the end of every single round. Like, there's no chance that you can just make sure that everyone's cheating or everyone's not cheating at any given time.

Speaker 5 Has there ever been any talk, not about this Patrick Reed guy in particular, but

Speaker 5 about any golfer? Have you ever heard somebody be like, Yo, let's wait for this guy in the parking lot and beat him up because I caught him cheating?

Speaker 2 No, I don't think there's definitely been rumors that go around about different guys,

Speaker 2 But I don't think there's no, no fights.

Speaker 2 We would wait for the rough and rowdy for that. Yeah, we just go with teams.
Yes.

Speaker 2 All right. Another dumb question for you.
On 17, when you hold out that eagle,

Speaker 2 were you actually, are you actually aiming at the hole there? Or is it like, I'm just trying to get it somewhere close and then hopefully it works? No, that was just dumb luck that it went in.

Speaker 2 That was just real dumb luck. I fucking love it.

Speaker 2 Because it's such a good shot. And everyone's like, oh, my God, but I don't know how those work.
I assume you're just trying to put it to a place that will give you a great putt.

Speaker 2 And then it ends up going in. It's like, fuck, that was awesome.
So if you really want me to be honest about it, there's three sprinkler heads that were right my way.

Speaker 2 When I went up to the green to go look at it, I was like, oh, if I land these right online with the sprinkler heads, I was like, that's where I want to land it.

Speaker 2 I'll have myself like a six, eight footer if I had a good shot. But because they were right there, I had to go a little bit further right.

Speaker 2 And then the ball, I mean, it kind of took a weird little hop and

Speaker 2 i mean i'll be honest with you i did i i it shouldn't have gone

Speaker 2 that's just stupid luck man that makes it so much better that makes it so that makes that's like sums up golf too when we see the greatest shots and in reality it's like i probably actually mishit that a little bit but it ended up going in yeah i mean that's just that's golf yeah half the time a guy hits a bad shot and it goes close to the hole it's like i wasn't really aiming there but all right it is what it is my theory about about you is that you just play better when there's fans involved, when it's like a little bit rowdier out there.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 5 is it Scottsdale, the Waste Management Open? Like,

Speaker 5 that's like the drunkest crowd in golf, besides maybe sometimes like the Ryder Cup when it's in Long Island.

Speaker 5 But I feel like you rise to the occasion when you've got a bunch of guys hooting and hollering at you.

Speaker 2 Oh, it's the best. Dude, that's the best atmosphere in golf when there's a lot of drunk people just screaming whatever at you.

Speaker 2 That 16th hole when they have those fans down on the side and they're just finding all this dirt on you and you're screaming it. You learn a lot about the other guys you're playing with real quick.

Speaker 5 What was the nastiest thing that you heard yelled at somebody this weekend?

Speaker 2 Oh, what was the nastiest thing?

Speaker 2 See, I don't think it's tough because there's only 5,000 people and they were, and I felt like nobody was drunk enough on Saturday.

Speaker 2 I just feel like everybody was just prepping for the Super Bowl. That was good.

Speaker 5 You're doing a good job of protecting your guys. You don't want to tell any tails out of school.

Speaker 2 I heard a couple of good ones, but nothing, yeah nothing too bad what's the next when's the next tournament is it next weekend is it already like you have to play on thursday no there's one this week but i figured i'd take it off after celebrating so hard i figured i'd just need a week to recover yes that's fair so then and then um

Speaker 2 i don't know do you want to predict like what are you going to win any of these majors this year it would be cool if you'd win a major so that we can start dunking on people again Yeah, yeah, I get back in that circle.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I think got a good chance. I like it.
I feel good. So, yeah, I'll be ready.
Don't worry. Where's the U.S.
Open this?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Where's the U.S. Open this year? U.S.
Open is here in San Diego in Tory Pines. So it's the same one I played the week before, last, before I missed the cut, but that's fine.

Speaker 2 We should go to that, whatever.

Speaker 2 It's just

Speaker 2 like, could we get special passes where we can be inside the ropes just following you? I wonder if you could get...

Speaker 2 Yeah, it'd be like this honorary observer thing where you get people to go in the ropes. Yes.
Yes.

Speaker 2 What if you had us or like maybe like it's an emotional support bloggers and we just follow you around

Speaker 2 as like extended caddies and we're just there to hang out? See, I don't have a swing coach right now and I don't have a mental coach. So TFT, you could be the mental coach.
Yeah, mental.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Just be rhythm. You know how to bring it out in people.

Speaker 2 Yep, and everyone knows my swing is incredible. So I got you.

Speaker 2 Exactly.

Speaker 2 I love that. Yeah.

Speaker 5 we can do that really easily now serious question how how much worse do you think you would play in a round if me and big cat were actually your caddies oh

Speaker 2 this would be real bad

Speaker 2 i know i'd be only there for two days so it'd probably save me a little bit of dough i wouldn't have i wouldn't have to get a hotel for for like a week to get it for like four days well seriously so Let's say, let's put you in like a specific situation.

Speaker 5 It's Sunday at Augusta. So you've already played the course three times.
It's 65 degrees out, very little wind. Greens are a little bit soft.

Speaker 5 Pin placement is medium hard, but your caddy sprains his ankle, can't go. Me and Big Cat are on the bag for you.
What do you shoot on Sunday?

Speaker 2 Oh, that's that's a major. It's different.

Speaker 2 I'm good at those.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 And so are we. I mean, we still win.
We still win. It doesn't matter.
We win. That's what we do.

Speaker 2 Hell yeah, we win. We do.

Speaker 2 Give it up Chicago.

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Speaker 2 30 years ago, Jeff Bezos, complete nerd. Bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht, and the boxes keep

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Speaker 5 Now, more Brooks Kepka.

Speaker 2 You mentioned just now, so you did split with your swing coach.

Speaker 2 How does that work? Like, is that whenever I read that, I'm like, ooh, what happened? But I assume that just happens routinely throughout golf.

Speaker 2 Like, guys go through swing coaches because at some point you just need something different, right? Yeah, yeah. At some point, you're just like, all right, look, I had a great run with him.

Speaker 2 It was fun.

Speaker 2 He's a good dude. I like him still.
He's, I still talk to him. He texted me after the win, but it's just one of those things where, hey, maybe you want to try to get a little bit better.

Speaker 2 you know, fine-tune a couple things. And

Speaker 2 I've just been talking to his dad a little bit about my swing and another guy

Speaker 2 who I've used basically my whole career. Because I feel like from the outside looking in, it's always, whenever I read one of those stories, I'm like, oh, shit, like that's bad.

Speaker 2 But then I realized almost every golfer, I think every golfer at some point has switched their swing coach because at some point you need to just change things up.

Speaker 2 So it's probably a no-hard feelings both ways, right? Yeah, it's yeah, it's yeah, pretty much that.

Speaker 2 You know, usually you go through if let's say my whole career, usually there's probably two or three caddies, a couple swing coaches. Uh, just kind of depends, whatever you want to do.

Speaker 5 Yeah, did you say, Do you say that you replaced your swing coach with your swing coach's dad?

Speaker 2 Yeah, that's uh, no, I didn't replace him with that, I don't have anybody, but I've always bounced ideas off his dad, Butch Harmon. I've always bounced ideas off him and another guy in England.

Speaker 2 So, he's like a fucked up porn, yeah, with swingers.

Speaker 2 What's going on, Brooks?

Speaker 5 uh have you ever thought about like having two swing coaches at once

Speaker 2 yeah big cat and pft that's it that's it yup yup we'll do it we'll do it absolutely uh absolutely when when you get those big checks after tournaments do you what do you do with the checks do you have like a garage that's just filled with them no but i should i should just put them in my trunk or put them in the car like happy gilmore that'd be actually badass just drive around with a whole bunch of big ass checks

Speaker 2 yeah yes Yeah.

Speaker 2 You know, it's a really funny story about that. So

Speaker 2 I won that same event in 2015. And I remember I was moving out of my old house and moving in the one I'm in now.
And I was like, I don't know where that trophy is. I have no idea.

Speaker 2 So I called my agent and we had to track it down. It had been lost for like three and a half years.
And it was in some warehouse. Didn't even know I didn't have it.
until we were moving.

Speaker 2 I was like, where's that trophy?

Speaker 2 No, I, no idea.

Speaker 2 That's perfect, though. That's fucking perfect.
I was like, hey, we check my right. Wait, did you win it the year the Super Bowl was there? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 That was, do you, did you ever meet Jim Renner, who is the original People's Golfer?

Speaker 2 I don't think he's, I don't know where he is right now, but he was on tour for a little bit and he came over to our Super Bowl house that year and was like just putting back beers.

Speaker 2 And this girl was like, hey, what are you doing? He's like, I golf. She's like, oh, really? Like, yeah, kind of like professionally.

Speaker 2 And he's like, yeah, I got a tea time tomorrow, tomorrow, like 8 a.m. and it was like 11 p.m.
at our Super Bowl house. We're like, What are you doing right now? Yeah, yeah, he didn't make the cut.
So,

Speaker 2 yeah, I should have came over then. I don't know what I was doing.

Speaker 2 You were winning the tournament, so you were probably doing something better. Yes, yeah, I was doing all right, yeah.
But that's a legend.

Speaker 2 I'm trying to think. I think I was definitely

Speaker 2 more drunk that year than I was than this one, yeah.

Speaker 2 Damn, which was impressive.

Speaker 5 Yeah, what win has made you go out and just decide to party the hardest?

Speaker 2 Oh, the first major when we were like, no, no, no, we're not going home. We're going to Vegas.
I mean, I think I was actually standing up.

Speaker 2 I was thinking I was dancing while the plane was landing in Vegas. I think I was like on the seat.

Speaker 2 Oh, it was bad.

Speaker 2 I remember we landed. It was like one, it was 1.30.

Speaker 2 And my agent

Speaker 2 or whatever was like, oh my God, it's 1.30. And I was like, it's only 1.30.
Oh, yes, great. You got plenty of time.

Speaker 5 So like on a bender like that, after you celebrate a major, how do you decide when it's time to call it off?

Speaker 5 Is there just like you have like a clock in your head where you're like, okay, we'll be here for two days and then we'll go back? Or do you just like keep going until it feels bad?

Speaker 2 No, you just push through. You just got to push.
I think I did, I think I was partying for like literally a week and a half. We did Vegas for like six or seven days, which was a lot.
That's a lot.

Speaker 2 And then we kept the party going in LA.

Speaker 2 And that was, and then I think in LA, I remember that summer, it was, I don't know must have been 110 and I walked outside and I literally just about faded and I was like all right it's time we're done

Speaker 2 I was like all right I'm

Speaker 2 I can't do this anymore I'm out I love it I would my I you got to win a British Open because those parties like they're probably a little more subdued but they're just like renting out your own English pub and just drinking for, you know, three days straight in it seem pretty damn awesome.

Speaker 2 That's also the best trophy to drink out of, right? Yes, it is the best one because the ones that I've won are very

Speaker 2 there's a lot of drinks you can put in those, um,

Speaker 2 and it just gets all over you. But uh, the Clare Jug, you can definitely drink a little bit better out of it, it's way nicer.
Yes,

Speaker 2 and then you've got a whole nother what you got an eight-hour plane fight on the way back just to keep it going.

Speaker 2 Yes, true.

Speaker 5 Where's the

Speaker 5 open championship this year?

Speaker 2 Saint something,

Speaker 2 uh, St. George's.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There we go.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I was

Speaker 2 okay.

Speaker 5 Royal St. George, we need to, if you win, we need to just like rent out Scotland.
You can just rent Scotland for the weekend, I'm sure.

Speaker 2 Just go and fucking rager.

Speaker 2 Yeah, no, that'd be great. Yeah, and then you got you guys fly over.
Yeah, we'll just rent it out for a week. Yes.
All right. I have one last question.

Speaker 5 What?

Speaker 2 So.

Speaker 2 We're now in 2021. You got to win.

Speaker 2 Blake of the Year is coming up in probably five months, four months.

Speaker 2 Depending on COVID, we're trying to get everyone together. How do you like your chances if we are all together, all the Blakes together in a competition?

Speaker 2 I like that a lot better because I'm telling you what, I answered that phone call on the first ring this year. I had it literally, it was sitting on my chest.

Speaker 2 I was like, I was ready, and then I hear ring, boom, answer it. And I was like, there's no way, Sim.
No. So I'm ready to get together.

Speaker 2 Plus, the amount of shit talking that's going to go on with blake griffin portals

Speaker 2 we got i mean

Speaker 2 they're in offseason during that time pretty much so i'm still going so yeah yeah yeah well no maybe blake griffin might be in the nba finals and blake bordles might be on a new team so you don't know that yeah that's true that is true

Speaker 2 yeah yeah

Speaker 2 how about this i'm going to schedule an off week whenever whatever that week comes perfect we'll do it for like a week after whatever the major is around there so that you can win that party and then at the end of the party we can do the blake of the year or we just do a wall-in-party either way yeah that's it that would actually

Speaker 2 that would be great a blake of the year like who can just stay up the longest yeah

Speaker 2 yeah

Speaker 5 yeah that works too that's perfect that's perfect um all right pft do you have any other questions Oh, no, I was just, my last one was just going to ask you about, I've heard that you've noticed a larger South American or South African following, like a contingency that uh that is actively pulling for bruxkepka because they think that you might be south african is that true uh yes actually you're gonna die laughing at this so we're pulling into the chorus on sunday and this guy was riding his bike and he was in the whole

Speaker 2 you know the whole get up and it was this south african flag and i'm like scrambling trying to get my phone out to take a picture to send to upt

Speaker 2 and i couldn't and i took the photo and i screwed it up because whoever was in our passenger seat literally just their whole face blocked the guy and i I was like,

Speaker 2 but I was like,

Speaker 2 that's a good omen going into a Sunday right there.

Speaker 5 Absolutely. Yeah.
It's like the Washington state flag on College Game Day. We always need to, you need to see a South African flag to get you pumped up for

Speaker 2 a Sunday. Now, Brooks, did you?

Speaker 2 So I do think you were as drunk as Billy because you did tell us that story on Sunday night.

Speaker 2 Okay, yeah. So

Speaker 2 I thought you were maybe telling it again for the listeners, but I think you didn't even realize you told us that story on Sunday. No, I had no idea.
No idea. No idea.
That's perfect.

Speaker 5 You kept

Speaker 5 saying to me, like, the picture is so bad. It is the worst picture I've ever taken.
I feel like I have to see the picture now because you honestly said how bad this picture was maybe seven times.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.
I mean,

Speaker 2 yeah.

Speaker 2 Fuck, I didn't know I said that.

Speaker 2 Oh, good. That makes it even better.
Dude, never apologize for partying after winning $1.3 million in the tournament. Come on.
Sorry, Frank.

Speaker 2 That's what makes you real. Right, exactly.
All right. Well, Brooks, thank you.
Hopefully, we see you soon, man. And I appreciate you doing this.
Yeah, thanks, guys. Appreciate it.

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Speaker 2 All right, breaking moose.

Speaker 2 That's actually a Jake cow, not a Hank cow. Hank cows.

Speaker 5 Are there any animals that you can do an impression of?

Speaker 2 Rough, rough. There we go.
Doging news.

Speaker 2 It's later on at night, and Darren Revelle has challenged PFT to rough and rowdy. $2 million that he is asking for.
He needs $2 million guaranteed to get in the ring and have PFT kick his ass.

Speaker 5 Listen, I'm going to beat the shit out of Darren Revelle. Like, if you were to ask me,

Speaker 5 name one person in the world that I'm confident that I could beat up, it's Darren Revelle. I think everybody in the, I don't think anybody in the world couldn't kick Darren Ravel's ass.

Speaker 5 So I don't know where he came with this idea from. I think he just saw Jose Conseco get a paycheck.
He was like, you know what? I'd like to get my name trending on Twitter.

Speaker 5 So maybe I'll just talk about getting into the boxing ring.

Speaker 2 Here's the fact.

Speaker 5 Darren Revelle wants $2 million.

Speaker 5 Whatever. The money's not important to me.
In fact,

Speaker 5 I don't need a single dollar.

Speaker 5 i will i don't i don't think you were getting a dollar what do you mean i think it was just too i think he saw jose conseco made over a million dollars he's like oh i'll do it for two million dollars yeah like you weren't going to get any money well no i would i would absolutely be getting some money in the way that this would be drawn up don't get me wrong but i'm i'm going to forfeit that i'm going to say i will kick his ass for free i will kick his ass if he agrees to delete his twitter account i want to wipe him off the face of the internet he would i feel like i am I'm fighting for not just myself, but everybody that's had to wake up to Darren Revell tweeting out a video in 4K of JFK getting his skull blown off.

Speaker 5 I'm doing it for everybody that's ever been narced onto their professor by Darren Revell.

Speaker 5 I want him. I want his Twitter accounts.
And that's it. That's all that I need to beat him up.
And I'm a million percent confident I can do it.

Speaker 2 He, okay, two things. One, he'll never do that.
Ever. You know that, right?

Speaker 5 Well, we need to make sure that there's a reason why he does not pull a Jose Conseco and take a a dive because I'm getting wrong, but he'll never know I sprained my I sprained my nose.

Speaker 2 He would never put his Twitter account up for grabs.

Speaker 5 Well, listen, he's getting $2 million.

Speaker 5 I need to have some collateral.

Speaker 2 His collateral is his Twitter account.

Speaker 5 It's valued at probably $2 million.

Speaker 2 You know, he would value it at like $40 million.

Speaker 2 No, I want... Absolutely.

Speaker 5 I want to wipe him off the face of the internet.

Speaker 5 I don't want my kids. Big cat, you're a father.
Do you want your children growing up in a world where Darren Revelle is posting online?

Speaker 2 I don't. No, but what I'm saying to you is what else, like he, I'm telling you right now, he's not going to do this.
There's no chance in the world he would put his Twitter account up for deletion.

Speaker 5 He didn't figure Darren Revelle to be a coward.

Speaker 2 And if he did, he would find some loophole that it would not, like, we'd all be unsatisfied. He's the king of loopholes.
Remember that. Like, my first,

Speaker 2 my first thought when I saw him say he would fight for $2 million is that Darren Revelle would get in the ring and literally sprint around for three minutes straight.

Speaker 2 He is pretty quick.

Speaker 2 Yeah, not getting hit.

Speaker 2 And then as everyone called him a coward, he'd be like, whatever. People have called me much worse online.
I'm $2 million richer. Ha ha ha ha.
That's what he wants to do.

Speaker 2 Darren Revelle at all times wants to just get over on people and find a loophole so he can be like, well, actually.

Speaker 2 So that's my first problem.

Speaker 2 My second is i don't i do not think he would ever do the twitter thing so you got to think about what would be i think it i used to do it for free i don't want to negotiate against yourself but kicking his ass if we put in a clause that darren revell can't run around like a good faith clause with a with ironclad like he has to stand there and I don't know, maybe it's he has to take a certain amount of punches or throw a certain amount of punches.

Speaker 2 You would kick the shit out of him.

Speaker 5 Because

Speaker 5 he's already agreed to the Twitter account thing. We don't need to negotiate anymore he says i will

Speaker 5 so badly i tweeted it that i wanted to but you know that it's not he he's the king of loopholes pft we got to think listen we got to think ahead of this because you know how he is i but i don't want to negotiate against myself big cat right right now what you're doing is you're you're taking away the possibility that maybe we will have a fight for his twitter that is the best promotion that anybody could ever hope for can you imagine how many people would want to watch a fight knowing that darren revell's twitter account could be wiped off the face of the earth forever.

Speaker 2 Of course.

Speaker 2 If that were on the table, if he actually would do it, it would be the greatest thing ever. I'm telling you, we got to think smarter than that.
Okay, I said loopholes.

Speaker 5 I said, he said, for $2 million, I will fight PFT Convert.

Speaker 6 By the way, he came at me.

Speaker 5 I didn't come at him. I said, you get money if you win, Darren.
If I win, you simply have to delete your Twitter account forever.

Speaker 5 And then he replied to that, I can't wait to crack those sunglasses off.

Speaker 2 That's not saying that he agrees to that deal. But he didn't say

Speaker 5 he didn't say no.

Speaker 2 PFT,

Speaker 2 you can't fall into Ravel traps. You're flying into Revelle Traps.

Speaker 5 We can burn that bridge when we get there. Right now, what you're doing is you're taking away the possibility that this could ever happen before it gets started.
I want that.

Speaker 2 No, I want it. No,

Speaker 2 that is my term. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I'm not taking away the possibility. I'm saying I'm okay with the possibility.

Speaker 2 I'm telling you, realistically, he probably would never do it, but we need to actually have him write it down.

Speaker 2 It has to be written and notarized, and all that shit because he is the king of loopholes. He's the king, he's the biggest weasel of all the weasels.

Speaker 2 Every tweet that he's ever tweeted in his entire life has been so that someone can try to correct him and then he can come over the top and recorrect them.

Speaker 2 You know, that you know, that's that's what he lives off of. So, he is just setting little traps left and right to try to get us in these.

Speaker 2 Well, actually, and that's not what I said, and actually, why don't you read the words? And all these things that

Speaker 2 we can't let him have that because that's all he wants to do.

Speaker 5 Okay, two options. I'll give him two options.
He can pick one. First, you delete your Twitter account if I beat you, Darren.
Second, if I beat you, you have to renounce your Northwestern alumnus.

Speaker 5 You are no longer a graduate of Northwestern University.

Speaker 2 I'm down with that.

Speaker 5 You have to give me your degree. I take over your status as an alumni of Northwestern University.
You're not allowed to claim it. You're not allowed to cheer for them.

Speaker 5 You're not allowed to hold the little wind bar when they run out into the field.

Speaker 5 You're not allowed to tweet at Greenie and get ignored by the king of the studs, Mike Greenberg, whenever they win a big game. I take over your degree.

Speaker 2 That's it. He has to sell everything too.
He has to sell all of his Northwestern paraphernalia, gear, everything to the lowest bidder.

Speaker 5 And you said that you're going to knock my sunglasses off, Darren. Guess what? I step into the ring, the sunglasses are coming off.

Speaker 2 That's it.

Speaker 5 That's it.

Speaker 2 If this falls through.

Speaker 5 Boy, I'll take him up on his challenge to you, big cat, and tennis. He said that after 11-0.

Speaker 5 challenged you to tennis after you beat him in basketball i'll take him up on that if this falls through you be there we go yeah now big cat you've you've stared in the eyes of darren in the midst of an athletic competition what what's going through his head right now how much of a competitor is

Speaker 2 i mean going through his head right this second he's like this is the greatest thing ever i got these guys to talk about me

Speaker 2 No, he's not listening because somebody has

Speaker 5 somebody's

Speaker 5 sending its own.

Speaker 2 I also, I want to throw out there, so Jake, you have that tennis. I still have, Darren has challenged me to a mile race, and he said anywhere, anytime.

Speaker 2 So, PFT, if this fight actually happens, I will just challenge him to the mile race right before the fight. Yeah, or right after.

Speaker 2 Right before he has to run a mile and then get in the ring, and you just kick the shit out of him.

Speaker 5 I like that. Or after I knock him out as his body's unconscious on the mat, be like, go.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 I just hate him, and I know he's such a weasel. So, I guess really we should end it this, this way.

Speaker 2 If he's serious about it, if he's actually serious about it, he should get in touch with Erica and Dave, and they will start like the negotiations.

Speaker 2 Like they, if he's actually serious about doing this, then let's talk. Because we can clearly, we've shown that we can do it.
We've shown we can get it done.

Speaker 2 So let's fucking talk and stop tweeting about it. Let's start fucking doing it.

Speaker 5 My price is negligible. My price doesn't even count in the grand scheme of this.

Speaker 5 you have basically a zero dollar commitment to me so darren it's all up to you if you really want to make this happen if you want to get your face beat on on national television in front of leslie and god and the whole world then bring it on buddy because i got i got my brand right here it's gonna leave some impressions on your face bitch I think you should actually just do the rec specs just to beat him in fucking sunglasses, which would be hilarious.

Speaker 2 I think that's even worse. That would be like way worse to get beat up by a guy who's wearing sunglasses.
That's the ultimate joke. Cool.
You should put on like a backwards hat in the ring, too.

Speaker 2 I should smoke while I do it.

Speaker 5 It's going to be a leather vest, jeans, cowboy boots.

Speaker 2 As casual as you can make.

Speaker 2 I'll read a magazine. Yeah.

Speaker 2 It wouldn't even be a fight. It wouldn't be fighting to fight.
It wouldn't even be a fight. Jesus Christ.

Speaker 2 All right. Well, I hope it happens.
I really do. Yeah, I do, too.
I really do, too. I'm just, I'm petrified of the well, actually, Darren Ravel and how he exists.

Speaker 2 So I don't want to let him weasel out of any of this shit. And if it does happen, there better be a clause that he can't run Because that was my do you think my knee-jerk reaction was correct?

Speaker 2 He wanted to do this fight and then sprint around and then be like, I don't care. I made two million bucks.
You guys are the losers. I made two million bucks.

Speaker 5 Yeah, that's exactly what he's at. He's Andy Kaufman without the comedy.
He would just like try to make everybody hate him and then get into a car and drive away. But yeah, perfectly,

Speaker 5 Darren, you can do whatever you want to. We got Mike Portna on the case.
So Mike get to work drawing up some ironclad legal framework on this buddy.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and he doesn't have a serious show anymore. So he's ready to go.

Speaker 2 All right, guys on chicks. Hanks, you ready to go?

Speaker 7 Hey, boys, especially big boy Billy.

Speaker 7 My boyfriend and I go to a super Catholic school, and they made a rule that girls cannot go in guys' dorms, claiming that it's because of coronavirus, but really because they hate sex-having people.

Speaker 7 My boyfriend won't bend the rule because he doesn't want to get expelled. Do I break up with him or go an entire semester not having sex in beds? Please help.

Speaker 5 I think you got to just not have sex in beds. You really need to explore the campus.

Speaker 5 Like, college campuses are known for two things: one, having very friendly squirrels wherever you go, and two, a lot of different nooks and crannies that you can bone in.

Speaker 2 Yeah, libraries like stacks.

Speaker 5 Every library has a stack that's just filled with people fucking all the time.

Speaker 5 I don't even think that they use those parts, those weird parts of the libraries with like the soft-cover green books that are all dusty. No one actually goes there, just have sex there.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I think, yeah, you just make it a semester-long treasure hunt

Speaker 2 of sex

Speaker 2 or find a guy who will fuck in bed. And then that's technically not cheating, actually, because your boyfriend refuses to do it in bed, so that's not on you.

Speaker 7 I think that's stealing another podcast material, but hey.

Speaker 2 Girls, we're cheating in 2021.

Speaker 7 This might be a movie plot. I'm sure someone will let us know after the fact, but

Speaker 2 let's just choose to believe.

Speaker 7 Hey, WFT, Slim Cat, and Hank the Tank. Some background.
I'm a 37-year-old woman with two kids.

Speaker 7 This summer, I hooked up with an 18-year-old from my work, and it was the best sex I've had in my whole life. So good that I went back for seconds a week later.

Speaker 7 We fucked on the beach under the moonlight the first time, and it was so magical.

Speaker 7 We've since grown apart, but since I felt a little weird about fucking someone that could be considered my kid, but I have these strong feelings for him, and I've heard he has them for me too.

Speaker 7 What do you think I should do?

Speaker 2 Is that a plot to a movie?

Speaker 5 I think it's a plot to like a a bunch of movies, probably, but it sounds more likely that this was just written by a real horned-up 18-year-old guy that has like a crush on his neighbors 37.

Speaker 5 Maybe he's like waved to once or twice.

Speaker 5 He's like, in my most beautiful fantasy, we're making love under the moonlight and on a beach, and then she's thinking about leaving her husband for me and ditching it all.

Speaker 5 So I think that's the way I'm going to go with it.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah, this feels uh, don't do it. Either side, I don't even know which side was what side was this written from

Speaker 7 the

Speaker 2 the the MILF. Yeah.
Oh,

Speaker 5 it's not no, it's it's not a uh it's not a movie theater. This is a Jerry Thornton blog.

Speaker 2 Are you okay? Yes, sir. Okay.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Oh, fuck.

Speaker 7 Hello. So I was told by my boyfriend to Texas number recording a recurring argument we have.
Every time my boyfriend goes to the bathroom, number one, he refuses to wipe.

Speaker 7 He's repeatedly told me that he gets it all out by just shaking it but sometimes he walks away with a little dribble on his pants wipe do this or is he gross and should wipe again i'm not really sure who i'm texting but he keeps telling me the boys will know what's up thanks

Speaker 2 you're yeah tony romo but also like what this can't this isn't real right i think she's talking about wiping your penis yeah yeah do you wipe do you wipe your penis after you pee do you think there's someone out there who does it because i i mean there has to be right the odds are there's got to be someone who takes one single square and wipes the tip of their dick after they pee stephen chee steven chee yeah

Speaker 5 yeah i would say like um most baseball writers probably do ken rosenthal that's what the uh handkerchief that he always has in his in his front pocket the pocket square that's just to dab the tip of his penis after he pees

Speaker 7 uh all right and last one well hey slim cat commenter honk and billy mayweather I recently noticed that my boyfriend still uses his ex accounts for Netflix, Amazon, Hulu, and basically every other service.

Speaker 7 He claims it's because he doesn't have to pay for them, which makes sense. I've offered him my accounts, though, and he denies.
Should I be worried?

Speaker 2 No, because guys don't like change. Yeah, we don't like change.

Speaker 5 Having to memorize another person's new passwords for everything, that would suck.

Speaker 5 So, no, as long as you know what Netflix should do if they were smart, they would include like a little like encrypted messaging service within the app so you can like message the other people that use it.

Speaker 5 So, for all the people that like stay in touch with their exes, like drop them, drop an occasional nude as a thank you for being like, hey, I appreciate you letting me use your Netflix account the last three years.

Speaker 5 Here's a picture of my testicles.

Speaker 2 Yes, yes, I like that. Yeah, just

Speaker 2 let them do it. And also, shout out this person who submitted calling him Billy Mayweather.
I love that. I love that.

Speaker 2 He is Billy Mayweather.

Speaker 7 Yeah, but bunch of pay-per-view buys for a fight that doesn't live up to the hype.

Speaker 2 Oh,

Speaker 2 I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 Billy knocked him out. Billy hit him in the face.

Speaker 2 I'm sorry. I'll knock you out if you want to fucking fight.

Speaker 2 Let's go. Let's go.

Speaker 6 I'll fuck you up, dude.

Speaker 2 At least, at least you know, I won my fight,

Speaker 2 you know. Billy won his fight.
Billy, you won his fight. Billy, did it feel like you knocked him out? Like, tell us how it felt.

Speaker 5 You just,

Speaker 6 man, I'm going, guys. I gotta go.

Speaker 2 You won the fight.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you won the fight. Oh, he just left.

Speaker 2 That also is so planned. that was such a planned i'm upset but i'm really like i would imagine

Speaker 5 yeah i would imagine some guy named troy just threw him a core's light off off camera like let's go billy he got to text his uh his vip table at hooters is ready to go so he's he's on his way out the door billy is at the hotel where my high school prom was fun fact that is fun uh quick numbers

Speaker 2 18. 14.

Speaker 2 Wait, Jake, do you have it?

Speaker 5 I have the history, yeah.

Speaker 2 Oh, no, all right, I got the random generator.

Speaker 5 Jake, can you look up a fun animal fact?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Eight, eight, eight.

Speaker 5 Six, fourteen.

Speaker 5 Okay. A snail can sleep for three years.

Speaker 2 Random number generator. That is a fun fact.
All right, everyone's got it.

Speaker 2 Everyone's got their numbers.

Speaker 2 99.

Speaker 2 99.

Speaker 2 No, no, no. That's my guess.
That's what I guess.

Speaker 2 90. Oh.

Speaker 2 90 was the answer.

Speaker 5 September 29th. That's the first time we had 90.

Speaker 2 There we go.

Speaker 2 All right.

Speaker 2 See you boys on. Oh, Dungeons and Dragons coming back on Friday.
Let's go.

Speaker 5 Also, Hank, you might want to text Billy. I think he's very upset at you.

Speaker 2 I don't care. Oh, fuck that.

Speaker 5 Love you guys.

Speaker 2 Don't care.

Speaker 2 We can get him to say that fucking fight story a billion times.

Speaker 2 We've done it with robotic arm on the station.

Speaker 2 We've done it with red forage of modules.

Speaker 2 Prepare for

Speaker 2 talking away.

Speaker 2 I don't know what I'm to say. I'm saved anyway.

Speaker 2 Today's another day to find me. Shy ain't away.

Speaker 2 Oh, I've been coming for your love, okay.

Speaker 2 Shy ain't away.

Speaker 2 Oh, I've been coming for your love, okay.

Speaker 2 Take on

Speaker 2 me,

Speaker 2 take

Speaker 2 me on.

Speaker 2 I'll be

Speaker 2 gone

Speaker 2 in a day all day.

Speaker 2 Needless to say,

Speaker 2 I'm upset

Speaker 2 about me, someone away.

Speaker 2 But I'm learning that life is okay.

Speaker 2 Stay up to me.

Speaker 5 It's got got better to be safe than sorry.

Speaker 5 Stay up to me.

Speaker 2 It's got better to be safe than sorry. Take

Speaker 2 on

Speaker 2 me.

Speaker 2 Take

Speaker 2 me

Speaker 2 on.

Speaker 2 I'll be gone

Speaker 2 in a day of dream.

Speaker 2 All the things that you say,

Speaker 2 just to play my worries away.

Speaker 2 You're all the things I've got to remember. You're shying away.

Speaker 2 I'll be coming before you anyway.

Speaker 2 You're shying away.

Speaker 2 I'll be coming for you anyway.

Speaker 2 Take

Speaker 2 on me.

Speaker 2 Take me

Speaker 2 on.

Speaker 2 I'll be gone.

Speaker 2 I'll be

Speaker 2 gone

Speaker 2 in a day.