Brooks Koepka, SB 55 Clean Up, Big Cat Has Covid & Rovell Vs PFT

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We have some hot seat, cool throne, guys on chicks. Billy's in Florida, but he's zooming in.
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Okay, let's go. Boy! Boy! Now in the street there is violence And then a lot of work to be done No place to hang out or wash in And then I can't blame all on the sun Oh no We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue, and then we'll take it higher.

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Go download it right now, use code BARSTOOL, you get $10 for for free ten dollars to the aspca today is wednesday february 10th and i have coronavirus thanks for coming out coven yeah so okay so here is my uh so in in real talk real quick real talk then we're gonna we'll we'll have fun with the show. I'm okay.
It sucks. I'm now isolated in a hotel room and basically not leaving until I start testing negative.
It was also, you know, we did everything. I wore a mask all the time.
It just sucks. It is what it is.
Didn't take it lightly. Wasn't like I haven't been to a bar in a fucking year plus.
I haven't been to a restaurant on any of that shit. I basically go to work and go home.
So it happened. You probably, I think some people kind of caught onto it because I just wasn't around and also we're on zoom.
So we'll be on zoom probably for the rest of this week. Here's my one silver lining that I thought of.
If you remember around this time last year, it's a little bit later, March, right before the tournament, I said that if they don't play March Madness, I will inject myself with coronavirus. Well, they didn't play March Madness, and I didn't inject myself with coronavirus.
So I think that getting it is finally karma. And on top of that, it means that we officially will have a March Madness tournament this year.

Yeah.

You would have absolutely opened yourself up for all sorts of hate.

If for some reason,

March Madness got delayed,

there were logistic errors related to Corona virus.

If that happened and you had not gotten Corona virus yet,

the,

the,

the calls for you to like go to a packed restaurant down in Florida with

Billy and just start sucking face with every co-ed that you see,

like Morgan Waller.

Thank you. the the the calls for you to like go to a packed restaurant down in florida with billy and just start sucking face with every co-ed that you see like morgan waller believe it actually hank bleep his name out uh would be uh would be astronomical that's all that you'd hear so yes i think in a weird way it might pretend good things now i do i do hope that you're healthy i hope that you make a full recovery oh i feel like shit i feel terrible yeah i hope i'm not being rude just just in case you're healthy.
I hope that you make a full recovery. Oh, I feel like shit.
I feel terrible. Yeah.
And I hope I'm not being rude just in case you don't recover. Would you want us to like dig up your body and cut your pinky off? Make your team, make your pick your pinky team right now for next year so we know who to track it for.
Oh, okay. My pinky team for next year will be oh fuck well is this this is my pinky team if i'm dead yeah so i get to pick a different team if i'm all right yeah you know what then do do do the packers if if if the packers win the super bowl and if i die and the packers win the super bowl cut my pinky and throw it at aaron rogers face it um there's like a 0.0005 chance that we have to do that yeah i mean look we we don't this episode in the history of the show we don't take we have not taken uh we you know we've had fun because we're a fun show and we're we're not trying to you know we take the piss out of pretty much everything.
But this does suck. I do feel like shit.
It sucks that it happened. But it's a pandemic.
We're not COVID shaming. I'm sure.
Do you think that – here's my one question. Do you think the people that hate us will, like, shame me? Do you think they'll try to find a way? You think so? Yes.
Because that's fucking bullshit. Yeah, Bryson DeChambeau is going to have a highlight reel coming out in the next three days for sure no but i'm not like a 24 year old kid who's like going to spring break or like going to florida after he wins a fight against jose canseco and blacking out at a bar like and being irresponsible i'm a fucking 36 year old dad that went from work to home work to home and it was bound to happen if you know we had a couple work trips that took us out there and that's part of i made the calculated risk i knew what was going to happen if i had to leave my little bubble i did it because i love my job and i wanted to keep working and you know it sucks yeah actually now is the most powerful time i think that you can issue a clear statement telling people and reminding them wear a mask yeah wear a mask wear a mask as a living mask up let's just say this too do some pr real quick no i had covid three weeks ago and like i didn't want to talk about it too much because oh that's weird i wonder how i got it yeah dude you might have got it from me but i went through quarantine you fucking dick i don't Dude, you were in your mask your mask i didn't go near you legitimately i like i'm all right shut up billy mute it i mean i really mute it billy billy killing all of us would be one of those it would be the ultimate like you get what you bargained for a moment i also love that billy just tried to go he raised his hand he said can i do some quick pr and then just implicated him himself and giving me coronavirus like thanks dude appreciate whatever it's a major chickens coming home to roost moment for us for sure uh because do you want do you want me to bring like an xbox to your hotel room do you want to i bought a book the time i bought a book no big deal i bought a book on my phone no i bought a book on my phone i'm I bought a book on my phone.
No, I bought a book on my phone. I'm going to try to read it on my phone.
I'll let everyone know. If I can't read a fucking book stuck in a hotel in Manhattan for a week by myself doing literally not going anywhere, then I think that might just be it for me and reading.
It might just be the big short was it. And I was, I'm walking off.
So here's the thing. If Big Cat's got it, obviously Hank, me, Jake are taking all the necessary precautions.
That's why we're staying in our hotel room or in our apartments as well. Billy's in the hotel room doing God knows what.
But we're going to take it. We're getting tested all week long.
But the chances of Big Cat having it, none of us having it, pretty low. So we're in a modern situation.
Hank is feeling sick. Even though Hank does look like he is the ultimate Twitch gamer right now.
Like his screen room with the blue light, you just need neon. You need to wrap neon lights around Normie and then just have him walking around the background to make it like a true Twitch room but uh if you have it like if you contacted jose canseco was he a was he a close contact during the interview i mean at least he doesn't have he doesn't have any like pre-existing breathing conditions that we need to be worried about does he yeah i listen jose canseco you now have been told uh i tested positive on monday but who knows so to take the precaution.
I don't think Jose Canseco respects COVID. I don't think he respects anything in his life.
Scumbag. But he now knows.
The mask that he was wearing actually wasn't a COVID mask. That was just his sleep apnea device.
Yes, yes. So we are taking every precaution.
A lot of people who were on different trips have been sent home to quarantine for the week um and yeah we'll be doing zooms till at least the very earliest would be sunday but it probably won't even be you know probably be next week tuesday or something so uh all right should we talk about other things and what if i do survive which i plan on surviving i will be saying i'm, just so everyone's clear. Yeah, I have one last question.
So you still have your sense of taste, right? Yep. That's a bummer.
That's a bummer because if you needed help going on your diet, your post-Super Bowl diet, I wish I didn't have a sense of taste right now. Because I've eaten salads two days in a row.
My body has entirely rejected it. It ran through me like like i was a goose it was bad i i wish i didn't have to eat this crap well so here's the thing i have a sense of taste but i have zero appetite i i i have uh look at this a big bag of pirates but this is all i've had in the last 48 hours so every like three hours i'll just take a handful to see if I still have my sense of taste.
I guess we'll test right now. Live on camera.
This is electric. Alright.
He seems to be in trouble. How many balls? 4.2.
Still cheesy. But I don't have any appetite.
I haven't eaten anything. Do we need to send you some koochee does it like like a uh a cancer treatment patient who needs to like stimulate their appetite i'm worried about you wasting away you know i'm gonna get hot i'm gonna come out of this hotel room hot wearing the same clothes for fucking seven days straight looking hot uh all right so let's talk about let's do some super bowl cleanup want to do some super cleanup i still can can't believe Billy just implicated himself.
Whatever. Let's do some Super Bowl cleanup.
Did you see some ridiculous Tom Brady things that came out of this? The stat, 344 career games. And if you cut his career in half, he's a perfect 132 and 40 and 132 and 40.
How crazy is that? Wait, what? Tom Brady has played 344 regular season and postseason career games. If you cut his career games exactly in half, he's 132 and 40 and 132 and 40.
Is that insane? Yeah, that is crazy. That's witchcraft.
That's turbo Eli Manning. Yeah, which actually he hasn't gotten better.

Yeah, he peaked too early.

Yeah.

The other one was the story that came out that Tom Brady texted his entire team

every night the week leading up to the Super Bowl just saying,

we will win.

And I have to imagine that's got to be – like in terms of text messages

you can get, that has to be the single most confidence-inducing

Thank you. And I have to imagine that's got to be – like in terms of text messages you can get,

that has to be the single most confidence-inducing text message you can get from anyone at any point in your life.

Tom Brady just saying, we will win.

Yeah, it's powerful.

It's like it's a very short to the point statement where I think if anybody else –

like if Blaine Gabbert sent that text message to everybody each night, you probably get less confident. When it's coming from Tom Brady, we will win sounds extremely profound.
It's like if someone who is like – if a poet says something that's just like a very plain generic phrase, then everyone kind of ignores it. But if it's at the end of like a fable involving a frog, a scorpion, and a fox trying to cross a river, then it's like, yep, that makes a lot of sense.
Like it really hammers it home depending on who it's coming from. Yes.
Like if Tom Brady texted me right now, it was like, you will be better tomorrow. I'll probably test negative tomorrow.
Like that's – I truly believe that he has those those powers now it's just yeah everything defies logic when it comes to him it's like if it's tom brady and uh the guy with the big hands from shallow howl tony robbins those two guys if they sent me a text saying we will win then i would absolutely believe it no matter what yeah i'm also i'm pretty psyched about the parade that they're going to have in Tampa.

They just announced this today.

They're doing a boat parade.

So beautiful boaters are going on the high seas,

which I'm going to love seeing people dress up their Tampa fishing vessels

as pirate ships.

It's going to be cool.

It's going to be a very unique parade,

so I'm glad that they're getting to do something out of it.

I'm really used to those.

Well, and Hank, remember, when we went down to tampa for the for the uh stanley cup final game two in 2015 they died the ocean blue they're gonna die red the great people the great people at tampa just sat there in awe as they're like wow could you look at that like what's going on like wait also ocean blue they also i'm i'm assuming that the boat they're going to be on is a pirate ship, right? It has to be. They have to rent the biggest commercial pirate ship that's available on the East Coast.
They did this for the Lightning. The Lightning had a boat parade as well.
But yeah, they absolutely have to have it on a pirate ship. And I actually, I think that if you put Gronk on a pirate ship and you gave him a sword and after the boat parade you just kept on going out in the Atlantic, he would be like, okay, we're just pirates now.
He would be down for just being a pirate. A million percent.
Bruce Arians has a barrel full of rum that he keeps with him on the captain's bridge. I think that they should dye the ocean red.
That would be sick. Make it look like a big shark attack happened out there.
That'd be very intimidating. Yes, yes.
The other note I had, this one was Marcus Mosher tweeted this out. The last 12 Super Bowls, the leading rusher on the winning team, the highest salary was $2.5 million.
Every other leading rusher was $2.5 million or less. So here are the leading rushers.
Leonard, playoff Lenny, Damian Williams, Sonny Michel, LeGarrette Blount, LeGarrette Blount, CJ Anderson, LeGarrette Blount. Wow, three times.
Percy Harvin was the highest paid guy at $2.5 million, not even a running back. Ray Rice, Ahmaud Rice Ahmad Bradshaw James Starks Pierre Thomas I I looked at that and I was like I would love to see someone send that to Jerry Jones and just see what his reaction would be I think he yeah he would be like I I want to pay all these guys on this list more money more money than Zeke yeah but it is also it makes sense it It makes sense, to us as dumb fans we always are going to find that like one or two guys that we see uh as a running back that is currently a difference maker and just assume that this guy is going to be the same guy in four years but in reality like the window that you have as an nfl running back to be great is sometimes as small as like six weeks sometimes's like a six-week period where you just get in the fucking zone and then you can cruise off that financially for the rest of your life.
But it's not something where you're ever – it's actually very rare to have a running back that's the most dominant running back in the NFL for like three years. Like that is an outlier, even something that wide of a gap.
So it's like Derrickry's peak was probably like the last 16 months and i'll probably not get back up to that ever again it's also we you know whenever super bowl happens we try to like pick apart the team and try to understand exactly what made that team go and you there are certain things you know like paying a running back the you know if the running back position is is taking up a huge chunk of your you know dead cap or salary cap like yes it probably means the rest of your team is not that great but when it all comes down to it like a super bowl roster has talent everywhere has to get lucky a few times like the fucking bucks Tristan Wirfs, who their first round draft pick last year out of iowa started every single snap and was like an incredible offensive lineman for them like you have to don't you know what i mean like you like those things have to happen for every like when you look at every super bowl roster it's not rocket scientists you know science to say that you have awesome blue chippers all over the field it's not one position or one way of doing it that can make you a super bowl team like there's different ways to build a super bowl roster and trying to figure it out after the fact is always a fun exercise but it really kind of means nothing yeah i mean you you have to have like you have to strike while the iron's hot with the one roster that gets hot at the exact right time. It's not like in baseball or it's not like in basketball where you can kind of pencil your way into being like, yeah, if we put this type of roster together, we can find ourselves at least in the final four every single year for the next six, seven years.
You can't do that in football. It's impossible.
The only way you can do that is if you have Tom Brady on your team. If you have Tom Brady on your team, let me rephrase it.

The only way you can do that is if your star quarterback has an alleged

money laundering operation that's taking place as his company behind the

scenes that you can funnel money to instead of spending cap hits on that.

That's really what makes it the easiest way to get to the playoffs and to the

Super Bowl in the NFL.

Hank's looking at you like, what the fuck?

What do you think, Hank?

This is the first I've heard of what you're talking about.

Yeah.

Actually, the reality is, like, the formula –

You're taking what we said about LeBron

and spinning it into an ugly place that I don't –

You're right.

TV12 is way different from Space Jam 2.

Much different. Dude, I believe in TV12 now.
Fuck12 is way different from Space Jam 2. Much different.

Dude, I believe in TB12 now.

Fuck that.

I believe in Space Jam 2 now.

I might buy a TB12 book and just start dieting.

I mean, we all know I'm not going to, but I'm going to say it.

I have the book for me.

I've never opened it, but I have it.

I can bring it in.

The real formula is just having a star quarterback whose wife makes more money than him. And that way he can afford to take a pay cut.
Yes, yes. Go ahead, Billy.
Dude, the Bucs are just a mad ultimate team. Just like such big pieces put together.
And like remember they lost to the Giants? They didn't lose to the Giants. They lost to the Bears.
Remember when they, you know, like, were getting beat by the Giants and were like, these guys suck? Like, they just didn't have chemistry, and then they got together. They lost the Giants last year.
Yeah. No, the Bucs, I mean, it's actually – Daniel Jones.
The – yeah, that's true. Daniel Jones' first game.
Brady was out of his mind from, like, the four weeks – you know, the last four weeks on into the playoffs. And they, it is, I think Billy somehow got to like the correct point in that a lot of times when it comes to the Superbowl, it is a lot about getting hot at the right time and playing your best football at the right time of year, because Billy is right.
That like earlier in the year, the bucks did look like a team that had a lot of issues and weren't on the same page. And if you get everything together come late December and you roll it into January, you can be the best team.
And it's also weird because I think everyone now is like, the Chiefs suck. They don't suck.
They need to get their offensive line healthy. But would you bet on Patrick Holmes not being back in at least the AFC Championship next year? I would.
I think he's, he's probably going to win a Superbowl next year. Yeah.
Right. Right.
So it's just the, the, the post, the post Superbowl, like for those like two or three days after the Superbowl, when we pick apart the carcass of football, because we all just want to keep talking football, it always just makes me laugh a little bit because it's, you know, we we do it's hot takes do you think that the linebackers and like especially i mean jpp as a defensive lineman with one and a half hands had some interceptions this year devin white had great hands this year do you think that there's something to the fact that they got extra reps in practice the year before having james winston as a quarterback throwing a lot like doing a couple extra tip drills a game by accident or per practice and like they get they get more reps in uh and and that stuff translates into better hands in the long term i think that james should probably get a ring james should get a ring absolutely james should get a ring um he i hope james starts next year the other the other notes I had for the Super Bowl cleanup, Hank, you officially,

your fandom is on the hot seat because you were rooting, obviously,

for Tom Brady, which is totally reasonable.

But did you see afterwards Bruce Arians did an interview,

and the reason – like he put a lot of the team's success on giving days off to Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski. I think Bruce Arians has got to be your favorite coach in the NFL now.
Absolutely not. He's a douchebag.
He was setting himself up. He was setting himself up all season.
When they were losing, he was blaming it on Brady, and then when they win, he's giving himself credit. He was coaching him up.
He gives his guys days off. He gives vacation days.
That's your style. All right.
I mean, that's valid. That's my point.
Yeah, I was like, I read the article, and I was like, Bruce Arians essentially told Tom Brady, whenever you need a day off, just let me know. And he told Gronk, whenever you need a day off, we want you fresh for Sunday.
We don't give a fuck about the weekdays. And I thought of you right away.
I'm like, this is – what is Bill Belichick? No days off. That's kind of how PFT and I run this show.
I got COVID right now. What do you like? A few days off every now and then.
I mean, a few days off can really help someone's mental state. The scientific studies show that.
But I do think that Bruce Arians was playing both sides all season long. no that's fair up after the game he bruce arians thing is always like he's going to be hardest on his best players and that's just who it's also the uh it's like what barcel does where like you get unlimited vacation days but if you take a vacation like we're going to shame you like i'm sure if brady and gronk weren't there bruce would be like oh brady and gronk weren't here like he would as well here.
I'd like to point out that we should be offering our thoughts and prayers to Hank as well because Hank had a vacation planned this weekend. He was going to go to Florida.
Only because you had a vacation planned, PFT. Okay, all right.
So are you vacation shaming me now? No, I'm just like I was piggybacking on your vacation. No, it's like one for all and all for one.
like if one of us takes a vacation we should all take a vacation i wasn't gonna let you take a few days off without like because obviously if we came back and it was like how was your trip and you had you couldn't ask me how my trip was like that would have been so awkward yeah yeah so there was a moment there was a moment i like i it was like i was talking to ria we're gonna go to uh florida just like get away for a couple days this was at like 10 a.m i got on the train and And then Big Cat texted I like, I, it was like, I was talking to Rhea. We're going to go to Florida.
Just like get away for a couple of days. This was at like 10 AM.
I got on the train and then big cat texted us like an hour later. It was like, I have COVID.
So we didn't even book anything. So it's not that bad.
I'd also like to point out that Billy, how many wristbands do you have on right now? How many clubs have you been in that you haven't taken up dude i i have the antibodies

i like my life forget i literally for a fight with covid like fuck my life you gave me covid and now you fucking got your senior frogs fucking oh my god dude i have antibodies By the way, it killed my cardio and killed my weight.

I literally dropped 10 pounds. Dude, I have antibodies.
By the way, it killed my cardio and killed my weight.

I literally dropped 10 pounds because of COVID.

It was crazy.

Good thing that the guy you fought against took a dive.

Okay, can we just be real here?

Mark it down.

Mark it down.

I said that I was going to say that Billy –

I hate that there's a fucking asterisk.

I said I was going to defend Billy's honor

and say that he knocked out Jose Canseco on Sunday,

and it took me two days to be like, you know what?

Fuck you, Billy.

He took a dive.

No, dude, he didn't take it.

I mean.

He didn't.

You beat him.

The thing is, he thought that he could play around for, you know.

Are you doing the interview again? Are you doing Sunday night's interview again? I think you are. So why don't you tell us? What was your mindset like going into the fight? You just started in the game.
Honestly, I don't remember. I fucking thought it was Sunday.
And, you know, like you just try to avoid like watching it because you're just like, oh, fuck. That was good.
It was really good. People liked it.
It was very, very funny. I know.
I was shatting a fool. Good news is you wouldn't have to report Jose Canteco as a close contact because you didn't spend enough time.
That's what really sucks. I fucking buckled my septum in training.
I can't breathe out of my nose. And I was hoping that I'd get beat up during the fight so i could like like expense get my nose fixed but you didn't fucking hit me you should have said that you should have just said that you got you got your uh septum fucked up um all right let's do one more thing one more thing about bruce arians uh i don't know if you've noticed this big cat but if you look at his twitter timeline the only thing that bruce arians has

posted in like the last i don't know eight nine months is just rips to different people i think he's posted i think there are like 30 people that have died that bruce arians i don't know if they're like all bruce arians his friends are dying if he's a serial killer but if you scroll back it's it's kind of ridiculous.

Oh yeah.

It's a lot.

You're right.

You're right.

You're right you're right you're right when you get older shit it's tough yeah he's just using his twitter to he's basically the obituary section which i was my does anyone have the the uh washington post on their hot seat no i i'll we'll get to that in a second let me do these ads real quick. We're going to get right back to the show.
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Okay, hot seat, cool, thrown, Hank. My hot seat is any of you fucking idiots that believe the story.
Oh, you as in listeners, not that you guys are idiots uh but anyone out there that believe the story of the kid who the streaker there's a tweet going out that he bet fifty thousand dollars on the prop that there would be a streaker and he only had to pay a thousand dollars to bail himself out so he made like a crazy profit by doing that which is impossible because there's no chance you could bet that much on a such a crazy prop right right first of all they have the tweets and then second of all if that were in fact the case and you were the streaker there's no way in hell you're making it called like bleacher report best to be like hey look at me i just scammed this you're keeping your mouth shut you're laying low a long time. This is one of those stories that makes me confident in Barstool Sports and Penn and the Barstool Sportsbook app.
Because I see other companies buy this stuff and I'm like, what are you? There's no way. I mean, they limit everything.
They limit all the props. They beat Gatorade.
It'd be like saying I bet on a prop for someone to win the Royal Rumble.

Like, you can't – when things can be decided by humans

outside of the actual sport, they limit them.

Of course they do.

So this is crazy.

Shame on anyone who bought that.

Right.

Also, my other hot seat, I have a few today, no big deal.

Diane Sawyer.

Oh, yeah.

First of all, I thought she was dead. i thought she was getting canceled post mostly but cool throne wait post mostly whatever post whatever it is but wait post post mostly post mostly post most mostly okay i always get uh diane sawyer connie chung and barbara Barbara Walters.
That's all just one late 90s ABC 60 Minutes 2020 watching it after a football game wrapped into one. Yeah, toss Bette Medler in there too because she kind of gives off that vibe.
Yeah. But there's a new documentary about Britney Spears and how like the media like fucked her up uh and diane sawyer was like one of the main perpetrators so she's getting canceled not post mostly in irl mostly pretty mostly what do you say oh my god letterman too right the david letterman one's bullshit that's that's just uh that's a that's a separate that's a lindsey lohan thing their tiktok is trying to cancel David Butterman for a Lindsay Loh's just a – that's a separate – that's a Lindsay Lohan thing.

TikTok is trying to cancel David Letterman for a Lindsay Lohan interview.

But that's like – they took a clip, and if you watch the full interview,

like the context is not really that bad.

But if you watch just the TikTok, it's like, oh, it's fucked up.

But it's really not.

But Diane Sawyer actually is fucked up.

I did watch some of that, and it's bizarre to me how much the media has changed

since the late 90s.

Like basically everybody was treating Britney Spears like they were her mom.

They were like, are you sure you should be wearing that on television?

It was like a relatively low cut shirt.

And she was like 19 years old.

They're like, have you had sex yet?

It's okay, Britney, you can tell me if you've had sex.

It's like skin crawling stuff to be saying to like a kid that would never, ever, ever be said like now. So it's like crazy to see how much that's changed.
And did you see the Justin Timberlake interview where they were asking Justin Timberlake about the breakup? And then they asked Justin Timberlake about Janet Jackson's nipple. And he was like, well, yeah, I mean, I do kind of feel bad.
But also when you think about it, we still haven't found those weapons of mass destruction in Iraqaq so like the best the best spin zone ever it is crazy too because the internet has like made culture just it we're in hyperspeed so when you say early 2000s you're like oh that's not that that doesn't feel that long ago but it's really really long ago in terms of like cultural norms and everything everyone was doing

just because it feels like every month in the internet is basically a year.

Yeah, and when they were doing those interviews with Spears back in the day,

I remember watching because I was like, I don't know, a few years younger than Britney Spears,

but there's nothing that I wanted to see happen less than for Britney Spears to stop dressing up like a skank.

That was like the most important part of my day would be to be like, oh, look at this cool picture of Britney Spears. Doesn't she look hot? Yep.
Yeah. TRL.
I got so mad. I was like, please, please don't scare her out of, out of exploring and showing off her body.
Right. Talks to TRL with Carson Daly after every, yeah.
After school every day. And then my cool throw and talk about celebrities, internet culture is Kim Kardashian West.
Although, isn't she not in Kardashian West anymore? Did they cancel their marriage? We should start saying that, by the way. Just cancel for everything.
Just use that. It's called divorce.
It's actually, yeah, they've canceled their marriage. They've canceled their love.
It's still her twitter name and uh she posted a tweet today really inspirational it's her and courtney on a yacht uh in bathing suits and it says somehow in this crazy life we found each other with courtney and kim courtney and kim the the sisters yes somehow somehow they found each other so i'm just cool for her i'm happy for them when your mom and oj Somehow they found each other. So I'm just cool for her.

I'm happy for them.

When your mom and OJ Simpson love each other very much,

they get together.

No, that's Chloe.

I think they all are.

I don't know.

No, it's Chloe.

Chloe's actually confirmed.

Well, not confirmed, Hank.

Not confirmed at all.

It's confirmed.

It's alleged.

Did you also see Kim Kardashian had the picture of her seven-year-old, North? Oh, my God, yeah. The drawing that looked like it was a fucking Monet, and she's like, look at what my seven-year-old just whipped up in art school.
Yeah. I bet you Kanye did it.
I bet you Kanye did it or he paid somebody to do it and then sent her home with and be like look what look what your daughter's capable of when she's around me unlocking the best parts of her artistic mind it must be so nice though to be that like you have i don't know what does she have 100 million instagram followers you can just throw something up you're never going to look at dimensions so what does it matter just say that your your kid did it are they going to keep the name the last name west for the kid because north kardashian doesn't really make it doesn't slap as much as northwest does no i think i think the kids whatever you're born with is your last name yeah i don't think you change that in in a cancellation of love right uh pft uh my hot seat is math math is on the hot seat big time um because uh they put out a statistical analysis of everything that happened when coaches went for two points or kicked an extra point this year i love looking at these at the end of every season because they involve doing the most simple form of math possible i think and they're always the same. So it's 93% of extra points were made.
That's down like 1% almost from last year. And then 48% of two-point conversions were completed.
So you would think that it'd be pretty easy if you were a head coach to be like, well, what's more? 48% of two points or 93% of one point, and then realize that they should go for two every single time but they won't do it it's not going to happen it's going to take like one coach who just never kicks an extra point and uh especially if you have like a good if you have a good offense i'm sure that the number is above 50 on two conversions. Because remember, with this 48%, you're also taking into account, I don't know, like teams like the Houston Tech, I guess their offense is pretty good.
But you're taking into account like the Jets. The Jets are rolled into that 48% in hyperdrive.
So if you have a good offense, you should absolutely go for two points every single time. And I was actually just thinking about like, if you went back 30 years, or let's say you went back to, like, the 60s, and they had the two-point conversion option out there.
Do you think that there's any football coach that would ever say, like, hey, I think I'll take my football team off the field and send out my Eastern European kicker with one shoe to attempt something that's worth one point. It's like the least football guy thing you can do ever to kick an extra point instead of going for two and just like running the ball up the middle.
But it's because like, it's been that way for so long that now it's, now it's the conservative thing to do to send your like little pansy kicker out there to kick an extra point right it's actually the least football guy thing to do to go for two because that's a nerd thing yeah it's totally flipped right yeah no i agree with you that's that's interesting to think about like if they were if the rules were just if they had introduced a kick after like if they had just started the first 20 years of football it was two point conversions or nothing and then all of a sudden they started doing kicks no one would kick ever it would be it'd be a forgotten rule let's just say like they introduced the uh extra point kick after the world cup was in america and they're like we've got soccer fever let's keep this going because people love seeing Coaches would not have a kicker on the roster. They'd be like, fuck you.
Actually, we might have fucked up because I wouldn't be shocked if the extra point didn't exist first. It probably didn't, right? I don't know.
Because back in the day, it was worth more to kick a field goal than it was to score a touchdown. Huh? Okay.
We'll have to look into the, I'll look into it when we do, when we do Brooks interview or Jake, you look into it, look into it right now. 1958 was when the, when the kick was implemented.
Beginning in 1958, the scrimmage play conversion method of scoring became worth two points, a two-point conversion.

That was two-point conversion.

Ah, that's what happened.

Okay.

Okay, that makes sense.

So it was always like you would go for a two-point conversion,

but it was one point, and then they finally made it two.

And people still weren't like, hey, maybe we should start doing this.

Yeah.

How many points would they have had to make it for a coach?

Like four?

And be like, oh, actually, this is a good idea.

No, I think it'd have to be like five and a half.

Yeah.

So ridiculous.

So backwards.

You have a cool throne?

Yeah, my cool throne is – actually, no, I was going to do –

I was going to put our beautiful boaters on the cool throne for the boat parade,

which I'm very excited about.

Although, you know what sucks about this, though? How are they going to be able to toss beers to Rob Gronkowski to shotgun from the, from the land, from the land. Do they have a big enough arm? Yeah.
Yeah. The, the, if it's anything like the lightning boat parade, it's, they like go down like a little canal and people can throw shit at them.
Wait boat parade? Billy, you're not going to the boat parade. Billy's like, I can be your correspondent to this giant party.
Yeah. Tomorrow.
Billy, you're not even close to Tampa right now. I don't care.
I'll drive. No, you won't.
You couldn't even get on a plane today. Yeah.
I might actually end up driving home. It's like, I can't deal with planes and organizing stuff.
Yeah. Wow, that's so stressful.
Your life is so crazy. All right, my hot seat is, oh, the Washington Post.
So, Marty Schottenheimer, all-time football guy, RIP, passed away today. He had been sick.
It was really sad. I watched a video.
They did a Tom Rinaldi piece a few years ago. He had Alzheimer's.
Really, really sad. A legendary coach.
Seventh in all-time wins. 200 wins.
Turned around four different franchises. He took the Browns to two AFC Championship games.
Think about that. He took the Chargers to a 14-2 season.
He was the Chiefs in the 90 90s all these things great coach washington post decided uh to do a headline for his obituary marty schottenheimer nfl coach whose teams wilted in the postseason dies at 77 so uh that was i do really believe that the headline writer lost a bet like one of those teams that marty schottenheimer had like 13 and 3 joe montana like he lost a bet and he's been waiting for marty schottenheimer to pass away to then throw that out there because that feels like hell hath no fury like a scorn gambler that's what that feels like to me it does feel like a grudge headline if you because if you're just a football fan that's not even the first thing I think about with Marty Schottenheimer at all. Like, the top three things that would come to my mind would not involve him choking away things in the playoffs.
Because he had some, like, shitty kickers that messed things up for him at times. Marty Ball.
Marty Ball. Marty Ball is fun, man.
If you choose to embrace establishing the run, Marty Schottenheimer invented running the football as far as I'm concerned. So yeah, it is fucked up.
Dan Snyder probably paid somebody at the Washington Post to write that headline. Dan Snyder is probably the only person in America that's bitter at Marty Schottenheimer because they had a grudge after Marty.
I think Marty claimed Deion Sanders as somebody off waivers at his next job and wouldn't let Dan Snyder pick them up. So I think that they've got a long-standing beef.
But if you find yourself on the same side as Dan Snyder in any argument, you're already fucked up. I'd like to polish my fact earlier.
College football was 1958. The NFL adopted the two-point conversion in 94.
What? Right. Yeah, the two-point conversion came much, much later.
I mean, I guess we're nine years old. I guess I don't even remember that.
Yeah, yeah, but that's what I'm saying. Like, coaches are like, oh, this is one of those newfangled – like, if it happened today, a coach would be like, oh, it's this new TikTok rule.
You know? Yeah, right. It's one of these internet rules that they tell you to do when you get an AOL CD delivered to your mailbox.
They probably saw it as like an advancement in technology. So they were like, no, thank you.
Not going to do that. You know what I just did? I did what we do to younger kids who assume that the yellow line has always existed.
That isn't the first down line. I just did did that like there's people who've watched football their whole life they're like whoa like you you you actually don't remember when it was a two-point conversion i i've had that conversation with people who don't remember when the yellow line was introduced because i remember it so vividly and being like oh my god everything has changed do you remember when they reintroduced instant replay yeah yes that was loud so like instant replay was one of those things that i think they started for the first time like a long long time ago but the camera that they were shooting on it with like if it's the worst camera that you could it was useless you couldn't rewind it you couldn't see shit on it so back in like i don't know the 70s or 80s or whenever it was they're like we're gonna push pause on that until our cameras get better and i think i think mid 90s i think it was right around the same time the two-point conversion yes the uh last thing i had with marty schottenheimer i just forgot that the uh absolute pinnacle of coach looks will forever be the 90s when it comes to the script hat and the starter jacket that is the coolest that coaches will ever look in any sport ever like they're just when you see those pictures of marty schottenheimer on the chief's headline sideline and the huge fucking jumbo headsets the coolest you could ever look i miss those days i wish guys would wear starter jackets again i would add in the buddy Ryan Look when he had the real thick glasses, when you get a coach that's got like these glasses that are five inches thick, wonder how he sees through them.
Combine that with a giant hat, huge headphones. It's like that look for me in football.
And then the like Will Wade type sweating through your undershirt look for a college basketball coach that's what yes i'm pretty sure buddy ryan had the starter jacket look too so we had like a well he had like the um maybe not the puffy starter jacket that i'm thinking of but the the precursor to that starter jacket that also was fun it might have been the pro player jacket my cool throne is jo Joe Pesci trending on Twitter. I don't really know.
Was he trending for... Why was he trending on Twitter? His house.
He was trending because his house was his ass. Okay, so it was his house.
I thought it was something else. His house, I looked at those pictures.
Joe Pesci's shore house that he bought in 1994 and has never updated makes him the coolest person in the world. He already was pretty fucking cool.
But the fact that like it's a time capsule to Joe Pesci in the 90s is so fucking badass. And I love Joe Pesci for it.
And buying that house like that house should go for $10 million over ass just because of. And I hope the person who buys it doesn't touch a goddamn thing.
Just make it a Joe Pesci museum. Yes.
It's awesome. I love it because his entire house is a man cave that like the biggest Joe Pesci fan would want.
So like, who's the richest Joe Pesci fan in the world? Because that's the guy that needs to buy the house. Like, I feel like Bon Jovi is probably a huge Joe Pesci fan.
Glenny Balls. We should do a GoFundMe and all the money should go to Glenny Balls to be able to purchase this home and live in it and just make content out of the house.
I guarantee you, if you gave Glenny Balls this house, he would find something new and cool that would make him giggle every day for like 25 years. Pay for himself.
Agreed. Agreed.
Absolutely has to happen. Billy, I'm scared to even ask you if you have a hot seat, Cooltron.

Yeah, did you just see what Jose tweeted?

Okay, so the answer is you don't.

What did he tweet?

He tweeted something really fucking weird.

Oh, no way.

Jose Canseco?

Yeah, he tweeted, wait for it, wait for it. Let's find out what really happened here.

Did anyone ever see me get hit in the face at all?

Wait for the truth.

It's coming to a theater near you.

The fuck?

Did you... Let's find out what really happened here.
Did anyone ever see me get hit in the face at all? Wait for the truth.

It's coming to a theater near you.

The fuck?

Did you, I mean, did you pay him to take a dive?

Yeah, no, I did not pay him to take a dive,

but it's like, it's just so fucking annoying.

Now it's sort of sinking in what the fuck just happened.

What do you mean?

What was going through your mind on the night of the fight, Billy? Dude, I was in wartime, bro. Yeah.
I legitimately just got to the point in my head where I just felt no fear. My fight plan was to throw 140 punches a round.
When you have three one-, uh, yeah, cardio is not a deal, but if you came out and like sprint fighting, it's different than, you know, fighting for multiple rounds, like, like, like boxing is like a marathon, right? But like, right. We were doing it.
It's a sprint. So I trained a sprint fight, which is just tucking your chin and throwing as many punches as you can and do you think like for real though that he had any idea that you were going to do that to him I think he this is what I think happened right from my point of view I stepped in the ring to fight I came in I literally once I got hit by him and realized like he doesn't have this crazy power he was talking about, I went and threw my one twos down the pipe, got wrapped up with him.
And like I worked on in camp, if he was going to try to wrestle me, I was going to bounce out and hit him with the hooks on the inside real quick. And then he just, once he realized that I was going to be able to dismantle him he went down and then i'm getting i got angry because i was so wound up and i was like is this guy gonna wait did i just cut out i just cut out yeah oh all right let's do that again billy three two one guys so billy what did it feel like uh when you're going Guys, I'm so glad.
Did you actually just answer those two questions? I was interested into what he was saying right there. He had to go off-screen.
He was laughing so hard. The thing is that I actually trained for a fight.
I didn't think he knew I was an athlete at all. When I was taller than him before the fight, I saw him.
He was low-key. He was trying to talk trash to me the night before the fight.
No. Did he come up to you? Yeah, he came up to me.
He said, I don't know what you're going to feel good to. I was just like, I was cool, calm, and collected.
I like, I was shitting myself like two weeks before the fucking fight.

Like, but I had to like.

You didn't have anxiety attacks, did you?

I did, bro.

I would wake up in the middle of the night.

Yeah, man.

What the fuck?

Like, are you kidding?

How many times do you think like in the next month we can do this with Billy?

Just get him to retell the fight.

No, no, seriously, Billy.

Yeah. Like when you saw him,

when you saw him at the way in,

wait,

wait,

wait,

weren't you a little intimidated though?

Because he's tall.

He's taller than he's like a big dude.

Oh,

I'm taller than him.

That's what people realized.

I had reach on him.

I was like,

I'm going to fuck this guy up.

Like I,

cause the guys I've been fighting and sparring, training, going up to the camp, like, like I legitimately, the first week of my sparring, like guys were teeing off on me because one, they were pissed at this kid who like never bought box before, got a shot at that money. And they like thought I was a huge pussy.
So I was getting my ass beat for a fucking month leading up to this fight. And that's when I knew like he wasn't going to be able to like, what, like, you know, when you get the confidence, like, yeah, I wasn't a good boxer, but I could fucking get hit in the face and throw punches.
I was ready to go into the fucking fight. But, but no, like I actually, this is a totally real question because I feel like everyone going into the fight was like once Jose will just fucking one one punch knock him out yeah did he not did he not have power everyone was talking about this punch power when he hit me with his jab right it was a punch but like you know i'd taken a tons of punches going like up to the fight it was like once he punched me i realized the fucking wizard behind the curtain was fucking just a man i fucking went after that's what it was knocked him knocked his ass out billy did you but from like a it just sucks he quit because that's he didn't give me he literally what happened was he didn't take a dive he just didn't give me quit no he's a yeah, like, where was it? Were you...
Did you get to berserker mode? Yeah, I did. I fucking did.
It's... It was...
It was crazy. Like, I was just locked in.
And, you know, like, it was... The whole thing's been so crazy.
It's just like, you know... But what's your hot seat? My hot seat's COVID because Big Cat's going to kick his ass.
Oh, that's really fucked up to say after you gave it to me. Oh, wait, no, you said Big, I'm going to kick it.
I have COVID brain. I reversed it on myself.
Yeah, I have COVID brain. Sorry.
Big Cat, just anytime you fuck up, just say that you have long COVID. No, I did.
You got COVID that got sass kicked.

I spelled the first time when I was like,

I didn't have any symptoms on Sunday.

I mean, I just felt like run down.

But when I had a tweet that I spelled note as not twice in a tweet,

and someone was like, dude, how'd you spell that wrong twice?

And I was like, wait, what?

So that guy's pretty much a doctor.

That's all I got from that.

Billy, anything else on the fight um dude he literally saw that my team my team's t was just too fucking high yeah yeah well also he's not he's not like low-key he's not as tall as i thought he was dude i have the best friends and family in the world, and I couldn't have done it without them.

Like, you know, the love I've done.

Like, some dude sent me a custom country album playlist.

Like, dude, I made this playlist for you.

I think it would be awesome.

Holy shit.

A physical playlist?

Like, the love I've been seeing.

I just love everybody who showed support.

That's deep love.

Was it a CD?

It was, no, it was a Spotify playlist, but it's just.

Oh, fuck, dude.

That's deep love.

I know, but, bro, like, you know, everyone was ready to go to war with me,

and it's insane, you know?

Yeah.

It's just.

Where do you go from here, Billy?

Dude, I miss. What's next? I miss my fucking dog i miss my squat rack in war zone yeah and you know it's just crazy what are you gonna buy with the the fifty thousand dollars billy bro i almost dropped a bag me and me a new heart after you gave me covid dude new lungs new lungs yeah New lungs.
New lungs. Yeah.
Yeah, but it's just crazy. Thank you guys so much.
This wouldn't happen. Really, you didn't answer the question.
What are you going to buy? Bro, I tried to get the Cobra, but they're illegal in New York. No! Bro.
Yo, can you ship it to New York? I was killing raccoons. That didn't stop you.
Yeah. passing covid no killing bats killing bats sorry yeah you don't say that it's legitimately a crime to kill bats oh sorry allegedly um it's just crazy all right let's get to our interview with brooks pft you got uh someone's who? Yeah, so I'm rocking my whoop right now.

We're all training, actually.

I'm on team bulk right now, so I'm putting on some clean weight.

No, I'm captain.

I forgot.

You got any tips?

Yeah, fucking.

Have you been creatine loading?

I haven't been taking creatine.

I've just been eating clean.

I just eat clean.

I'm a clean guy. No, you don't eat clean.

You dirty bulk.

We're dirty bulking for this. I dirty bulked last week.
Now I'm cycling into clean. No, you're dirty bulking still.
Okay. So my doctor, my dietician, Billy, has told me that my diet's over.
Thank you, Billy. Two days sucked.
But I'm back. I'm bulking up now.
And everyone's out there recovering from an exciting weekend. We're going to get right back to the show.
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All right, back to part of my take. And now, Rukh Skipka.
Okay, we now welcome on one of our best friends in the entire world.

Future Blake of the year, hopefully.

Just coming off Waste Management.

I root for all the Blakes.

I want all the Blakes to do well.

Just coming off Waste Management Championship.

Won a trophy back in the winner's circle, even though that doesn't exist in golf.

It is Brooks Koepka, our guy. Brooks, how are you feeling? Let's do that.
Let's do a shitty journalist question. How are you feeling? I feel a lot better today than I did yesterday morning when I woke up.
I can promise you that. Yesterday was a bit of a struggle.
Fought through it, though, and backed. That's what winners do.
Just keep plugging plugging along yeah yeah how does the body feel that's that's another good one to ask is is just like physically from a physical standpoint i saw you know the last time we saw you uh i guess this was at the u.s open you're getting your knee tugged out of place um are you feeling all right everything back in back into position yeah yeah everything's back it's all good it's uh it'll be all'm surviving. Well, so I actually wanted to talk about that because I know that, you know, you're a very cool guy and you make golf look easy.
But I did read the quotes that there was some dark days in 2020 because your knee wasn't really responding the way you needed it to. And it felt like it was a longer journey than you expected.
Was there ever a point where you're like, I may never be back? Like, this might not work out. Like, I'm not going to be Brooks Koepka anymore.
Yeah, I thought maybe the only shot of winning anything was Blake of the Year for the rest of my career, which, I mean, it's not a bad thing. It's not a knock on Blake of the Year, but I was that was my best chance going forward but no it was um it was a pain in the butt I literally just every day it was just stiff I couldn't do anything waking up you know trying to walk around was difficult enough and then you start getting in the weight room and it just it feels like my knee was going to go sideways um it's just not a fun feeling oh you know what's a great story maybe we can tell here is, you know, a lot of the haters out there, a lot of the knock against Blake from people that don't know what they're talking about, they would be like, oh, Brooks doesn't love golf like we do, or he doesn't love golf like everybody else should love golf.
Did this injury give you a newfound love for the game of golf? Yeah, I mean, it's always one of those things it's a love-hate relationship though but you know it's my job at the end of the day i mean yeah you love your job um i like doing it but at the same time it can be very repetitive um you know just doing it day in day out and especially when you're sucking at it.

Yeah.

So did it – you know, you're a guy who – I mean, you're my fan favorite.

I think there's a lot of people who root for you because you're a refreshing,

honest guy when it comes to, like, interviews and media.

Was there a moment, though, because it felt like there were some guys that took their shots at you when you were down, knowing that you were down. Did you feel – did you, like, read those? And you're like, all right, come on, I'm going to be back eventually.
Like, this is – eventually I'm going to come back. I'm going to be, fuck you, Brooks Koepka tour.
Yeah, yeah. No, I mean, I saw a few of them.
It's fine. Hey, listen, I've been known to take my shots.
They can take their shots too. It's cool.
I can live with them. I'm a big boy.
I love that. That makes you that that makes you better than everyone else just so you know yeah listen at the end of the day i i mean i'm a sports fan too i can't tell you how many times i've yelled at the tv because lebron james missed a shot or somebody else has done something and i mean it's part of sports man yeah i love that yeah um so i saw that you won i I saw that you won, I think it was a $1.3 million check.
That's pretty cool. Did you think about asking it for like the check in Bitcoin or Dogecoin or something like that? Uh, I would have, I should have actually, that would have been great.
I mean, I could have turned that real quick into some good money. I think if you just say the word Dogecoin, then it's going to jump up at least like five five cents a share yeah that's that's kind of how it works i know my brother was uh my brother was on one about two weeks ago i mean he was just sitting there watching it i'm like dude it's like midnight relax yeah like you'll be all right dogecoin never sleeps dogecoin never sleeps does that get is like you've won obviously big tournaments before.
You've won majors. But I have to imagine like when you're walking off of 18 and you're like, wait, 1.3 million in a four-day's work, that's pretty damn good.
Like does that ever get old or is that still just the coolest feeling in the world? It is a really cool feeling. I'm not going to lie.
I'm just trying to think of what I can say. I mean, it was like Jose.
He got paid like, what, 150K per second? I mean, that's pretty good. For taking a dive.
And by the way, he owes you guys, what, two grand of the Barstool Fund for taking that dive? He owes 1,000. I highly doubt he's going to pay it.
Yeah, I don't think so. Kid.
i love how he put pft oh yeah he kept he totally bought the pft and i were different ages like you know i was a decade older he's like you know the adults are talking here jose's not exactly a smart guy it's funny you bring that up though because everyone loved our interview with billy football on monday uh after his win on fr night. He was very drunk when we interviewed him on Sunday night.
We actually talked to you on FaceTime on Sunday night. I think you were just as drunk as Billy Football.
I was enjoying myself. I was having a good time.
We should have recorded it. I spent all that $1.3 million on Michelob Ultra.
We should have recorded it because we could have had you –

we could have done the same thing, the 3, 2, 1, all right, Brooks, here we go,

and just kept on asking you the same questions.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, you could ask me the same question I'd ask.

I answered it differently every time.

Yeah.

You know what I love about, like, guys like you and just most athletes in general

have started to realize that when they accomplish something, when they win a big championship or when they, when they do something they didn't think that they could do before, their big celebration is just like ours. They just want to go out and drink like 20 beers.
It's great. It's kind of refreshing to see that.
So like you go to the bar, you just want a tournament. And at the end of the day, you're still like, Hey, just let me get seven pictures and I'll be happy.
Yeah, exactly. Just like just like everybody else that's what people forget just because you see me on tv and you see me doing this stuff i'm just i drink michael bultra the same way you drink it's a regular yeah bloggers too it's crazy people come up to us in bars like we thought you'd be you know like drinking the martinis that they make with gold dust and it's like nope just load me up with load me up with Coors Light.
I'm a happy boy. Yep.
I'm just looking to get drunk. That's it.
Yeah. All right, Brooks, I don't want to get you in any trouble, but we also – you know us.
We're not huge golf nerds. We love watching you.
We love watching majors. Explain to us if you were – let's take Patrick Reed's side.
Let's do that so it won't get you in trouble. Explain to us what – everything he did correctly when the ball snafu happened last week.
Everything he did correctly. He called a rules official, so that was correct.
He marked the ball. Go volunteer.
Yeah, yeah. He marked the ball.
He asked the question if it was plugged. So that was good.
And then he followed what the rules official said when he said it was embedded. That was the only thing that he did correctly.
Did he execute the drop correctly? Like he dropped it from the right place? Yeah, actually, yeah. He did do that.
He dropped it correctly. Yeah, he dropped it from the, like, knee height, so that was good.
Okay. Well, I mean, a lot of golfers, I think you're kind of alluding to this, too.
You're saying that you can't embed a ball off of a second bounce. Aren't you just kind of telling on yourself for not hitting shots hard enough that they stick into the ground on that bounce? What amazes me is that I don't think anybody knows this, but, like, where was like the highest point in the whole golf course it was like it was like everything runs away from that and that's like the highest point at tory pines um i yeah i don't know he's incredible yeah what you're basically saying is patrick reed is incredible and i agree he's incredible he's an incredible golfer i hope you're okay with us he's I'll probably our number two it's you and then him just because he's such a bad boy yeah I like Patrick but uh I mean yeah with the the whole sandcastle thing that happened you know he's playing in the sand uh but it's uh at hero and then um and then this one yeah not the not the best of looks I guess no I'd agree i'd agree that's that's a fair way to put it so how like when shit like that happens do you guys talk in the clubhouse or like can you believe this guy didn't do this or like are you are are guys genuinely upset when the rules aren't followed like to a t out on the golf course yeah so i guess this is what got me thinking i was talking to i think rory about it later on or last week um before it's like okay that's great when the cameras are on but when the cameras are off us on a sunday when you're in like 30th position like what really happens yeah good point yeah because that's that's a lot of money on the line like 30 between 30th and 40th like that's actually a really good point but like what happens to the guy where i mean later down the year and you know the last tournament of the year the guy that finishes 126 that he you know it's one of those things that someone cheat him out of something you never i mean you never know it's a bunch of what ifs but you feel bad if that was to happen to the guy that's a good point though and that's a it's a fair thing to say like that's where where it really hurts that people don't really think about it and that's where it's like everyone needs to to be on the up and up yeah i mean the golfs i mean i think you could do it if you really wanted to um but i don't know i just couldn't i couldn't do it i couldn't move it myself and there's no chance like you can't monitor everybody all the in that sport.
There's just too much going on unless every player had like body cams and then it got to be reviewed like at the end of every single round. There's no chance that you can just make sure that everyone's cheating or everyone's not cheating at any given time.
Has there ever been any talk, not about this Patrick Reed guy in particular, but about any golfer? Have you ever heard somebody be like, yo, let's wait for this guy in the parking lot and beat him up. Cause I caught him cheating.
No, I don't think there's definitely been rumors that go around about different guys. But I don't think there's no, no fights.
We would wait for the rough and rowdy for that. Yeah.
We just go with. 14.
Yes. All right.
Another dumb question for you. On 17, when you hold out that eagle, are you actually aiming at the hole there? Or is it like I'm just trying to get it somewhere close and then hopefully it works? No, that was just dumb luck that it went in.
That was just real dumb luck. I fucking love it.
Because it's such a good shot. And everyone's like, oh, my God.
But I don't't know how those work i assume you're just trying to put it to a place that will give you a great putt and then it ends up going in it's like fuck that was awesome so if you really want me to be honest about it there's three sprinkler heads that were right my way when i like went up to the green to go look at it i was like oh if i land these right online with the sprinkler heads i was like that's where i want to land it i'll have myself like a six eight footer if i had a good shot because they're right there i had to go a little bit further right and then the ball i mean it kind of took a weird little hop and i mean i'll be honest with you i did i it shouldn't have gone that's just stupid luck man that makes it so much better that makes it so that makes that's like sums up golf too when we see the greatest shots and in reality it's like i probably actually miss hit that a little bit but it ended up going in yeah i mean that's just that's golf yeah half the time a guy hits a bad shot and it goes close to the hole it's like i wouldn't really aim in there but all right it is what it is my theory about about you is that you just play better when

there's fans involved when it's like a little bit rowdier out there and in scott is it scottsdale to waste management open like there's that's like the drunkest crowd in golf besides maybe sometimes like the rider cup when it's in long island but i feel like you rise to the occasion when you've got a bunch of guys hooting and hollering at you oh it's the best dude that's the best atmosphere in golf when there's a lot of drunk people just screaming whatever at you. That 16th hole when they have those fans down on the side and they're just finding all this dirt on you and you're screaming at it.
You learn a lot about the other guys you're playing with real quick. What was the nastiest thing that you heard yelled at somebody this weekend? What was the nastiest thing? See, I don't think – it's tough because there's only 5,000 people, and I felt like nobody was drunk enough on Saturday.
I just feel like everybody was just prepping for the Super Bowl. That was kind of the thing.
You're doing a good job of protecting your guys. You don't want to tell any tales out of school.
I heard a couple good but nothing yeah nothing too bad what's the next when's the next tournament is it next weekend is there already like you have to play on thursday no there's one this week but i figured i'd take it off after celebrating so hard i figured i just need a week to recover yes that's fair so then and then um i don't know do you want predict? Like, are you going to win any of these majors this year?

It would be cool if you'd win a major so that we can start dunking on people again.

Yeah, yeah.

I got to get back in that circle.

Yeah, I think I've got a good chance.

I like that.

I feel good.

So, yeah, I'll be ready.

Don't worry.

Where's the U.S. Open this year?

Yeah.

Where's the U.S. Open this year?

U.S. Open's here in San Diego in Torrey Pines.

So, it's the same one I played the week before last, before I missed the cup, but that's fine. We should go to that.
Whatever. It doesn't matter.
It's January. We should go to that.
Can we get special passes where we can be inside the ropes just following you? I wonder if you could get – Yeah, they do like this honorary observer thing where you get people to go on the ropes. Yes yes what if you had us or like maybe like it's an emotional support bloggers and we just follow you around uh as like extended caddies and we're just there to hang out see i don't have a swing coach right now and i don't have a mental coach so pft you could be the mental coach yeah mental yeah you know how to break it out people yeah and everyone

knows my swing

is mental coach. So PFT, you can be the mental coach.
Yeah. Mental.
I was going to say mental. Yeah.
You know how to bring it out in people. Yep.
And everyone knows my swing is incredible. So I got you.
Exactly. I love that.
Yeah. We can do that really easily.
Serious question. How much worse do you think you would play in a round if me and Big Cat were actually your caddies? Oh, this would be real bad.
I know I'd be only there for two days, so it would probably save me a little bit of dough. I wouldn't have to get a hotel for like a week.
You'd get it for like four days. Well, seriously, so let's put you in a specific situation.
It's Sunday at Augusta, so you've already played the course three times it's uh 65 degrees out very little wind greens are a little bit soft pin

placement is medium hard but your caddy sprains his ankle can't go me and big cat are on the bag

for you what do you shoot on sunday oh that's that's a major it's different because i'm only

i'm good at those so yeah yeah and so are we i mean we still win we still win it doesn't matter

We're going to get right back to the show. Hear that? It's Spring Fest Savings calling your name.
Only at Lowe's. Right now, get a free Select Ego 56-volt battery when you buy a Select Ego trimmer, blower, of my take now more brooks kepka um you mentioned just now so you did split with your your swing coach it how does that work like is that i whenever i read that i'm like oh what happened but i assume that just happens routinely throughout golf like guys who go through swing coaches because at some point you just need something different right yeah yes at some point you're just like all right look i had a great run with him it was fun um he's a good dude i like him still he's i still talk to him he texted me after after the win but it's just one of those things where hey maybe i'll you know you want to try to get a little bit better um you know fine-tune a couple things and um i've just been talking to his dad a little bit about my swing and another guy um who i've used basically my whole career because i feel like from the outside looking in it's always whenever i read one of those stories i'm like oh shit like that's bad but then i realized almost every golfer i think every golfer at some point has switched their swing coach because at some point you need to just change things up.
So it's probably a no hard feelings both ways, right? Yeah, pretty much that. Usually you go through, let's say my whole career, usually there's probably two or three caddies, a couple swing coaches.
It just kind of depends whatever you want to do. Yeah.
Do you say that you replaced your swing coach with your swing coach's dad? No, I didn't replace him with that.

I don't have anybody, but I've always bounced ideas off his dad,

Butch Harmon.

I've always bounced ideas off him and another guy in England.

He's like a fucked up porn.

With swingers.

What's going on, Brooks?

Have you ever thought about having two swing coaches at once? Yeah, and pft that's it that's it yep yep we'll do it we'll do it absolutely uh absolutely when when you get those big checks after tournaments do you what do you do with the checks do you have like a garage that's just filled with them no but i should i should just put them in my trunk or put in the car like happy gilmore that'd be actually badass just drive around with a whole bunch of big ass checks yeah yes yeah you know it's a really funny story about that so i won that same event in 2015 and i remember i was moving out of my the old house and moving in the one i'm in now and i was like i don't know where that trophy is i have no idea so i called my agent and we had to track it down it had been lost for like three and a half years and uh it was in some warehouse didn't even know i didn't have it until we were moving i was like where's where's the trophy no i no idea that's perfect though that's fucking perfect i was like hey the, right? Wait, did you win it the year the Super Bowl was there? Yeah, yeah. That was – did you ever meet Jim Renner, who was the original people's golfer? I don't think he's – I don't know where he is right now, but he was on tour for a little bit, and he came over to our Super Bowl house that year and was, like, just putting back beers.
And this girl was like, hey, what are you doing? He's like, I golf. She's like, oh, really? Like, yeah, kind was like hey what are you doing he's like i golf is she's like oh really like yeah kind of like professionally and he's like yeah i got a tea time tomorrow like 8 a.m and it was like 11 p.m at our super bowl house we're like what are you doing right now he didn't make the cut so i said yeah i should have came over then i don't know what i was doing you were winning the tournament so you were probably doing something better.
Yes. Yeah, I was doing all right.
Tim Renner's a legend. I'm trying to think.
I think I was definitely more drunk that year than I was this year. In this one? Yeah.
Damn. Which was impressive.
What win has made you go out and just decide to party the hardiest? The first major. We were like, no, no, no, we're not going home.
We're going to Vegas. I mean, I think I was actually standing up.
I think I was dancing while the plane was landing in Vegas. I think I was like on the seat.
Oh, it was bad. I remember we landed.
It was like 1.30 and my agent or whatever was like, oh, my God, it's 1.30. And I it's only 1 30 oh yes great we got plenty of time so like on a bender like that after you're celebrating major how do you decide when it's time to call it off is there just like you have like a clock in your head you're like okay we'll be here for two days and then we'll go back or do you just like keep going until it feels bad uh no you just push through you just gotta push I think I did i think i was partying for like literally a week and a half we did vegas for like six or seven days which was a lot that's a lot and then we kept the party going in la and that was and then i think in la i remember that summer it was i don't know it must have been 110.
I walked outside, and I literally just about faded,

and I was like, all right, it's time.

We're done.

It's time to go home.

Yeah, it's time.

I was like, all right, I can't do this anymore.

I'm out.

I love it.

You've got to win a British Open,

because those parties, they're probably a little more subdued,

but they're just like renting out your own English pub and and just drinking for you know three days straight in it seemed pretty damn awesome that's also the best trophy to drink out of right yes it is the best one because the ones that i've won are very there's a lot of drinks you can put in those um and it just gets all over you but uh the claret chug you can definitely drink a little bit better out of it it's quite nicer yes. And then you've got a whole other, what, you've got an eight-hour plane flight in the way back just to keep it going? Yes.
True. Where's the Open Championship this year? St.
something? St. George.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. There we go.
Thanks for helping. Yeah, I was halfway there.
Okay, Royal St. George, if you win, we need to just rent out Scotland.
You can just rent Scotland for the weekend, I'm sure. Just go and fucking rager.
Yeah, and then you guys fly over. Yeah, we'll just rent it out for a week.
Yes. All right, I have one last question.
So, we're now in 2021. You got to win.
Blake of the year is coming up in probably five months, four months. We're depending on COVID.
We're trying to get everyone together. How do you like your chances if we are all together, all the Blakes together in a competition? I like I like that a lot better because I'm telling you what I answered that phone call on the first ring this year.
I had it literally – it was sitting on my chest. I was like – I was ready, and then I hear it ring, boom, answer it, and I was like, there's no way, so I'm ready to get together.
Plus, the amount of shit-talking that's going to go on with Blake Griffin, Bortles, I mean, they're in offseason during that time pretty much. So I'm still going.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, maybe Blake Griffin might be in the NBA finals and Blake Bortles might be on a new team.
So you don't know that. Yeah, that's true.
That is true. How about this? I'm going to scheduling off week whenever whenever that week comes

perfect we'll do it for like a week after whatever the major is around there so that you can win that party and then at the end of the party we can do the blake of the year or we just do a wall-on party either way yeah that's it that would be great a blake of the year like who can just stay up the longest. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. That works too.
That's perfect. That's perfect.
Um, all right. PFT, do you have any other questions? Oh, no, I was just, my last one was just going to ask you about, I've, I've heard that you've noticed a larger South America or South African following, like a contingency that, uh, that is actively pulling for Brooks Koepka because they think that you might be South African.
Is true uh yes actually you're gonna die laughing at this so we're pulling into the course on Sunday and this guy was riding his bike and he was in the whole you know the whole get up and it was this South African flag and I'm like scrambling trying to get my phone out to take a picture to send to UPFT I couldn't. And I took the photo and I screwed it up because whoever was in our

passenger seat, literally just their whole face blocked the guy.

And I was like, but I was like, that's a good omen going into a Sunday

right there.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

It's like the Washington state flag on college game day.

We always need to,

you need to see a South African flag to get you pumped up for a Sunday.

Now Brooks, did you, so I do think you were as drunk as Billy because you did tell us that story on Sunday night. Okay.
Yeah. So I thought you were maybe telling it again for the listeners, but I think you didn't even realize you told us that story on Sunday night.
No, I had no idea. No idea.
No idea. That's perfect.
That's so perfect. You kept saying to me, like, the picture is so bad.
It is the worst picture I've ever taken. I feel like I have to see the picture now because you honestly said how bad this picture was maybe seven times.
Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, yeah. Fuck, I didn't know I said that.
Oh, good.

That makes it even better. Dude, never apologize for partying after winning $1.3 million in the tournament.
Come on. Sorry for partying.
That's what makes you real. Right, exactly.
All right. Well, Brooks, thank you.
Hopefully we see you soon, man. And I appreciate you doing this.
Yeah, thanks, guys. Appreciate it.
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Barstool Golf Time app now. Alright, breaking moves.
That's actually a Jake cow, not a Hank cow. Are there any animals that you can do an impression of? Rough, rough.
There we go. Dog barking news.
It's later on at night uh and darren ravelle has challenged pft to rough and rowdy two million dollars that he is asking for he needs two million dollars guaranteed to get uh in the ring and have pft kick his ass listen i'm gonna beat the shit out of darren ravelle like if you were ask me, name one person in the world that I'm confident that I could beat up. It's Darren Revelle.
I think everybody in the, I don't think anybody in the world couldn't kick Darren Revelle's ass. So I don't know where he came with this idea from.
I think he just saw Jose Cansego get a paycheck. And he was like, you know what? I'd like to get my name trending on Twitter.
So maybe I'll just talk about getting into the boxing ring. Here's the fact.
Derrick Ravel wants $2 million, whatever. The money's not important to me.
In fact, I don't need a single dollar. I don't think you were getting a dollar.
What do you mean? I think it was just too many. I think he saw Jose Canseco made over a million dollars.
He's like, oh, I'll do it for $2 million. Like you weren't going to get any money.
Well, no, I would absolutely be getting some money in the way that this would be drawn up.

Don't get me wrong.

But I'm going to forfeit that.

I'm going to say I will kick his ass for free.

I will kick his ass if he agrees to delete his Twitter account.

I want to wipe him off the face of the internet. I feel like I'm fighting for not just myself, but everybody that's had to wake up to Darren Revelle tweeting out a video in 4K of JFK getting his skull blown off.
I'm doing it for everybody that's ever been narked onto their professor by Darren Revelle. I want him.
I want his Twitter accounts, and that's it. That's all that I need to beat him up, and I'm a million percent confident I can do it.
Okay, two things. One, he'll never do that.
Ever. You know that, right? Well, we need to make sure that there's a reason why he does not pull a Jose Canseco and take a dive.
No, no, no. But he'll never.
I sprained my nose. He would never put his Twitter account up for grabs.
Well, listen, he's getting $2 million. Right.
I need to have some collateral. His collateral is his Twitter account.
It's probably $2 million. You know he would value it at like $40 million.
No, I want to wipe him off the face of the internet. I don't want my kids.
Big Cat, your father, do you want your children growing up in a world where Darren Revelle is posting online? I don't. No, but what I'm saying to you is what else? I'm telling you right now he's not going to do this.
There's no chance in the world he would put his Twitter account up for deletion. I didn't figure Darren Revell to be a coward.
And if he did, he would find some loophole that it would not, like we'd all be unsatisfied. He's the king of loopholes remember that like my first my first thought when i saw him say he would fight for two million dollars is that darren revell would get in the ring and literally sprint around for three minutes straight uh he is pretty quick i've seen that yeah not getting hit and then and then as everyone called him a coward he'd be be like, whatever.
People have called me much worse online. I'm $2 million richer.
Ha ha ha ha. That's what he wants to do.
He wants Darren Ravelle at all times wants to just get over on people and find a loophole so he can be like, well, actually. So that's my first problem.
My, my second is I don't, I do not think he would ever do the Twitter thing. So you got think about what would be i think you i used to do it for free i don't want to negotiate against yourself but kicking his ass if we put in a clause that jaren revell can't run around like a good faith clause with a with ironclad like he has to stand there and i don't know maybe it's he has to take him a certain amount of punches or throw a certain amount of punches.
You would kick the shit out of him. Big Cat, he's already agreed to the Twitter account thing.
We don't need to negotiate anymore. He says, I will beat you so badly.
I tweeted that I wanted to. But you know that it's not.
He's the king of loopholes, PFT. We got to think ahead of this because you know how he is.
But I don't want to negotiate against myself, Big Cat. Right now what you're doing is you're taking away the possibility that maybe we will have a fight for his Twitter.
That is the best promotion that anybody could ever hope for. Can you imagine how many people would want to watch a fight knowing that Darren Revelle's Twitter account could be wiped off the face of the earth forever? Of course.
If that were on the table, if he actually would do it, it would be the greatest thing ever. I'm telling you, we've got to think smarter than that.
Because he's the king of loopholes. I said, he said, for $2 million, I will fight PFT Conrad.
By the way, he came at me. I didn't come at him.
I said, you get money if you win, Darren. If I win, you simply have to delete your Twitter account forever.
And then he replied to that, I can't wait to crack those sunglasses off. That's not saying that he agrees to that deal.
You know this. But he didn't say no.
PFT, you can't fall into Revell traps. You're falling into Revell traps.
We can burn that bridge when we get there. Right now what you're doing is you're taking away the possibility that this could ever happen before it gets started i want that no i want it no that that is my term no no no no i'm not taking away the possibility i'm saying i'm okay with the possibility i'm telling you realistically he probably would never do it but we need to actually have him write it down it has to be written and and notarized and all that shit because he is the king of loopholes he He's the king.
He's the biggest weasel of all the weasels. Every tweet that he's ever tweeted in his entire life has been so that someone can try to correct him and then he can come over the top and, and recorrect them.
You know that, you know, that's, that's what he lives off of. So he is just setting little traps left and right to try to get us in these.
Well, actually, and that's not what I said, and actually why don't you read the words, and all these things that we can't let him have that because that's all he wants to do. Okay, two options.
I'll give him two options. He can pick one.
First, you delete your Twitter account if I beat you, Darren. Second, if I beat you, you have to renounce your Northwestern alumnus.
You are no longer a graduate of Northwestern University. I'm down with that.
You have to give me your degree. I take over your status as an alumni of Northwestern University.
You're not allowed to claim it. You're not allowed to cheer for them.
You're not allowed to hold the little wind bar when they run out onto the field. You're not allowed to tweet at Greeny and get ignored by the king of the studs mike greenberg whenever they win a big game i take over your degree that's it he has to sell everything too he has to sell all of his northwestern paraphernalia gear everything to the lowest bidder and you said that you're going to knock my sunglasses off during guess what i step into the ring the sunglasses are coming off that's So that's it.
If this take him up on his challenge to you,

big cat in tennis he said that after 11 nothing he's he challenged you to tennis after you beat him in basketball i'll take him up on that if this falls through you'd be okay there we go yeah now big cat you've you've stared in the eyes of darren in the midst of an athletic competition what what's going through his head right now how much of a competitor is I mean going through his head right this second he's like this is the greatest thing ever I got these guys to talk about me no he's not listening because but that's what's going through his head somebody's he's so pumped sending its own I also I want to throw out there so Jake you have that tennis I I still have uh Darren has challenged me to a mile race and he said anywhere, anytime. So PFT, if this fight actually happens I will just challenge him to the mile race right before the fight.
Yeah, or right after. Right before he has to run a mile and then get in the ring and you just kick the shit out of him.
I like that. Or after I knock him out as his body's unconscious on the mat be be like, go.
Yeah, I just hate him. And I know he's such a weasel.
So I guess really we should end it this way. If he's serious about it, if he's actually serious about it, he should get in touch with Erica and Dave, and they will start, like, the negotiations.
Like, if he's actually serious about doing this, then let's talk. Because we've shown that we can do it.
We've shown we can get it done. So let's fucking talk.
And stop tweeting about it. Let's start fucking doing it.
My price is negligible. My price doesn't even count in the grand scheme of this.
You have basically a $0 commitment to me. So, Darren, it's all up to you if you really want to make this happen if you want to get your face beat on on national television in front of leslie and god and the whole world then bring it on buddy because i got i got my brand right here it's gonna leave some impressions on your face bitch i think you should actually just do the rec specs just to beat him in fucking sunglasses which should be hilarious i think that's even worse that would be like way worse to get beat up by a guy who's wearing sunglasses that's the ultimate joe cool you should put on like a backwards hat in the ring too i should i should smoke while i do it it's gonna be a leather vest jeans cowboy boots as casual as you can make a cigarette i'll read a magazine yeah it wouldn't even be a fight.
Jesus Christ. All right.
Well, I hope it happens. I really do.
Yeah, I do too. I really do too.
I'm just, I am petrified of the, well, actually Darren Ravel and how he exists. So I don't want to let him weasel out of any of this shit.
And if it does happen, there better be a closet. He can't run because that was my, do you think my knee jerk reaction was correct? He wanted to do this fight and then sprint around and then be like, I don't care.
I made $2 million. You guys are the losers.
I made $2 million. Yeah, that's exactly what he said.
He's Andy Kaufman without the comedy. He would just try to make everybody hate him and then get into a car and drive away.
But, yeah, listen, Darren, you can do whatever you want to. We got Mike Portnoy on the case.
So Mike get to work, drawing up some, some ironclad legal framework on this buddy. Yeah.
And he doesn't have a serious show anymore. So he's ready to go.
Um, all right, guys on chicks. Hank, you ready to go? Hey boys, especially big boy, Billy, my boyfriend and I go to a super Catholic school and they made a rule that girls can not go in guys dorm claiming that it's because of coronavirus but really because they hate sex having people my boyfriend won't bend the rule because he doesn't want to get expelled do I break up with him or go an entire semester not having sex in beds please help I think you got to just not have sex in beds you really need to explore the campus like college campuses are known for two things one having very friendly squirrels wherever you go and two a lot of different nooks and crannies that you can bone in yeah libraries like stacks every library has a stack that's just filled with people fucking all the time i don't even think that they use those parts those weird parts of the libraries with like the soft cover green books that are all dusty no one actually goes there just have sex yeah i think uh yeah you just just make it a semester long treasure hunt of sex or find a guy who will fuck in bed and then that's technically not cheating actually because your boyfriend refuses to do it in bed so that's not on you i think that's stealing another podcast material but hey um girls we're cheating in 2021 uh this might be a movie plot i'm sure someone will let us know after the fact but let's just let's just let's just choose to believe hey wft slim cat and hank the.
I'm a 37-year-old woman with two kids.

This summer, I hooked up with an 18-year-old from my work,

and it was the best sex I've had in my whole life.

So good that I went back for seconds a week later.

We fucked on the beach under the moonlight the first time,

and it was so magical.

We've since grown apart, but since I felt a little weird

about fucking someone that could be sick of my kid,

but I have these strong feelings for him,

and I've heard he has them for me too.

What do you think I should do?

Is that a plot to a movie?

I think it's a plot to like a bunch

of movies probably, but it sounds more

likely that this was just written by a real horned up

18 year old guy that

has like a crush on his neighbor

who's 37. Maybe he's like waved to once

or twice. He's like in my

most beautiful fantasy, we're making

love under the moonlight and on a beach

and then she's thinking about leaving her husband for

I'm not going to be able to do that. 37 maybe he's like waved to once or twice he's like in my in my most beautiful fantasy we're making love under the moonlight and on a beach and then she's thinking about leaving her husband for me and ditching it all so i think that's the way i'm gonna go with it yeah yeah this feels uh don't do it either side i don't even know which side was what side was this written from the the milf yeah oh it's not no it's it's not a uh it's not a movie theater this is jerry thornton blog are you okay yeah oh fuck uh hello so i was told by my boyfriend to text this number regarding a reoc a recurring argument we have.
Every time my boyfriend goes to the bathroom, number one, he refuses to wipe. He's repeatedly told me that he gets it all out by just shaking it, but sometimes he walks away with a little dribble on his pants.
Wipe? To do this, or is he gross and should wipe? Again, I'm not really sure who I'm texting, but he keeps telling me the boys will know what's up. Thanks, yeah tony romo but also like what this can't this isn't real right i think she's talking about wiping your penis yeah do you wipe your penis after you pee do you think there's someone out there who does it because i i mean there has to be right the odds are there's got to be someone who takes one single square and wipes the tip of their dick after they pee.
Stephen Che. Stephen Che.
Stephen Che, yeah. I would say, like, most baseball writers probably do.
Ken Rosenthal. That's what the handkerchief that he always has in his front pocket, the pocket square.
That's just to dab the tip of his penis after he pees. All right, and last one.
Hey, Slim Cat, Cometor, Honk, and Billy Mayweweather i recently noticed that my boyfriend still uses his x accounts for netflix amazon hulu and basically every other service he claims it's because he doesn't have to pay for them which makes sense i've offered him my accounts though and he denies should i be worried no guys don't like change yeah we don't like change process. Having to memorize another person's new passwords for everything that would suck.
So no, I, as long as you know what Netflix should do, if they were smart, they would include like a little like encrypted messaging service within the app. So you can like message the other people that use it.
So for all the people that like stay in touch with their exes, like drop them, occasional nude as a thank you for being like hey i appreciate you letting me use uh your netflix account the last three years here's a picture of my testicles yes yes i like that yeah just let them let them let them do it and also shout out this uh person who submitted calling him billy mayweather i love that i love that he is billy with mayweather yeah a bunch of pay-per-view buys for a fight that doesn't live up to the hype. Oh, Hank.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'll knock you out if you want to fucking fight. Let's go.
Let's go. Let's go.
Fucking rough and rowdy. I'll fuck you up, dude.
At least, at least, you know, I won my fight. Yeah.
Billy won his fight. Billy, did it feel like you knocked him out? Like, tell us how it felt.
Dude, just... Man, I'm going, guys.
I gotta go. Billy, you won the fight.
Yeah, you won the fight. Oh, he just left.
He left. That also was so planned.
That was such a plan. I'm upset, but I'm really like, I would imagine.

Yeah, I would imagine some guy named Troy just fucking threw him a Coors Light off camera.

He's like, let's go, Billy.

He got a text.

His VIP table at Hooters is ready to go.

So he's on his way out the door.

Billy's at the hotel where my high school prom was.

Fun fact.

That is fun.

Quick numbers.

18, 14. Wait, Jake, do you have it i have the history yeah oh no all right i got the random generator oh jake can you look up a fun animal fact yeah eight eight eight six 14 uh okay a snail can sleep for three years random number generator that's a fun fact all right everyone's got it yeah everyone's got their numbers 99 99 no no that's wrong that's my guess that's my guess 90 oh 90 was the answer septemberth.
That's the first time we had 90.

There we go.

All right.

See you, boys, on...

Oh, Dungeons & Dragons coming back on Friday.

Let's go.

Also, Hank, you might want to text Billy.

I think he's very upset at you.

I don't care.

No, fuck that.

Love you guys.

Don't care.

We can get him to say that fucking fight story a billion times. Appreciate it.
But I'll be so little away. It's better than learning, but life is okay.
Stay up to me, it's no better to be safe than sorry. Stay up to me, it's no better to be safe than sorry.
Take on me, take me on. I'll be gone.
In a day of time. All the things that you say.
Is it a light bulb? Just to play my worries away. You're all the things I've got to remember.
You're shying away. I'll be gone

In a day

I'll be gone