Cousin Sal, Ozzie Guillen, Lebron Vs Courtside Karen, And Billy's Fight Song

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On today's part of my take,

we have two great interviews for everyone.

We have Cousin Sal, his new book.

We talk everything with Cousin Sal, his cousin Jimmy.

You may have heard of him, Jimmy Kimmel,

gambling, his book, everything, Super Bowl props.

We also have Ozzie Guin,

manager, baseball player, world champion, and also hopefully giving us advice for Billy football on Friday night.

So, Ozzy has hit us up, said, if you want to beat Jose Conseiko, you have to listen to me.

We had him on.

We talked about baseball and also beating Jose Conseco.

Talk a little Super Bowl, hot seat, cool throne, and guys on chicks, and the debut of

Billy's fight song for Friday night, written by PFT at at the end of the show and Roan at the end of the show.

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Let's go!

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And then I love some work you'll be done.

Look at the handle, low washing.

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Oh no, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue.

And then we'll take it higher.

Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue.

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Today is Wednesday, February 3rd.

And guys, it's happening.

I'm starting to think I might bet on the Bucks.

Nope.

Nope.

Let me talk you out of it, big cat.

Wait, let me first say say this.

Let me first say this.

Past Cat.

Let me first say this.

I know.

I know.

I know.

I know.

I want you to talk me out of it.

Let me first say this.

The quote, the tweet that I saw, Tom Brady has had the house to himself with his family out of town.

It'll be 12 days of preparation alone.

He said he's never had that much time to prepare his mind and body before.

The more film I watch, the more I understand.

That got in my head, and I was like, wait, what?

He has how much time?

He's never had this much time.

Uh-oh.

I'm starting to like the Bucs.

I don't like that.

It takes him out of his rhythm.

Aaron Rodgers hasn't had his family in his house for years.

And look where that got him last week.

He don't make $500,000.

I hate him, but he don't.

$500,000.

I like the Bucs, but I love the Chiefs.

So this is you from the past.

Yes, no, I know.

Here's Pascat.

Here's Pascat.

I know.

Here it is.

Hey, Dan.

I'm sure the diet's going really well.

I know we agreed that we're going to start.

It hasn't started yet.

Listen, Dan, I know that you're looking really nice and slim.

The full beard is looking great.

You haven't shaved that into a mustache.

And I think that you should bet on the Chiefs because don't be a fucking idiot.

We bet on them.

Remember with the Bills?

I know.

And you said that if you bet on the Chiefs again, you have to bet on the Chiefs.

If you don't bet on them, you're going to get smoked.

You're going to feel like an idiot.

Well, what about Eric Fisher?

Andy Reid.

Andy Reid is going to get a double cheeseburger if he wins.

He said he's got a double cheeseburger.

I know.

I saw that.

That's a big carrot on the end of a stick.

I do love the attack of the olds for this Super Bowl.

The big storyline is like, hey, you want the young shiny head coach?

Well, guess what?

Bruce Arians and Andy Reid, they can still get it done.

Yep.

Yeah.

Might also be because they have really good players on both of their teams.

But they're both good coaches.

I want to see Bruce Arians give a speech after winning the Lombardy.

I think that would be great.

He'd have a cocktail in his hand before he got to the stage.

He would do an ice louge down the Lombardi trophy.

He'd put it in the freezer for like five minutes after the game was over, bring it back out with a bottle of something, probably something cheap, like a sky vodka.

And by the way, can I just go off the reels real quick about sky vodka and how much I hate sky vodka?

Sure.

It's always marketed as being like a fancy fucking vodka.

It's in the cool blue bottle.

When you try to drink it, it tastes like piss.

Anyways, that's probably what he did.

New Amsterdam vodka is the only vodka we drink.

Absolutely.

We are going to do all of our props on Friday's show.

And we will hopefully get some new props.

I already know we have one new prop at the Barcelona Sportsbook.

It's going to be the Scorigami.

But I wonder if we get a prop for the Gatorade bath like plus a million

Bruserians gets dunked in a yeah in like a I don't know gin and tonic yeah or at least have like a couple lime wedges giant lime wedges on the side of the I could see it I could see it Bruce Arians be like listen boys if we win this game I want just just dunk me just I'll I'll do a keg stand I'll do a handstand into an enormous jack and coke it'll be like landfill from beer fest except they're gonna put him into the Gatorade cooler and but it's just gonna be filled with like a kamikaze.

Yes.

And he's just going to suck his way out of there.

But I think don't overthink this.

I know, but I'm just going to be.

Because the only thing that concerns me is time.

There's so much time.

The COVID concerns me because they've got, like, is it Demarcus Robinson and one other guy?

Kilbore, the center.

But that wasn't COVID.

That was close contact, which usually the guys are able to still play.

Credit to the NFL for still pretending that they're doing COVID tests.

That is more than I expected.

I'd expected them to go straight to, oh, yeah, everyone's positive, or everyone's negative, everyone's negative, everyone's negative, without testing anyone.

But apparently, they're still testing.

What do you think would happen if Mahomes and Tom Brady both came down with COVID this week?

Nope.

Nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

They'd play the game or they'd delay?

No, they would play the game and we wouldn't find out.

Like, they could both have it right now.

We wouldn't get a single word about it.

And Tom Brady's in a high-risk group, too.

Yeah.

It's such a weird Super Bowl week because

I saw a picture of like Radio Row.

There's no one there.

There's some, there's a few people who are down there, but even Tampa was like 50 degrees.

Everyone was complaining about it, but you didn't get the full complaints.

I know.

So it didn't feel, because imagine if it was a regular year.

You get 40 degrees on a Super Bowl Monday.

People are pissed.

Adam Schefter would be complaining on Twitter about how there's a snowstorm in Dallas.

T.

Prisco would be wearing like seven scarfs at a time.

You couldn't even see the top of his head.

We can't even get complaints about the weather.

This is such bullshit.

Yeah, at the very least, could we at least get some like soshi Russia style complaining where they're in Tampa all by themselves in a hotel?

Like I want to see wolves walking through the hotel.

I want to see people complaining about the faucets not working correctly in the bathrooms.

We're not getting the full vibe.

We did get a little bit of the vibe from, I think, the guy from the LA Times, Sam Farmer, he tweeted out yesterday, last time the Super Bowl was in Tampa, we got the boss.

This time it's in Tampa and we get the weekend.

He was complaining about it.

And it's like, yes, it's strange strange how some things at some times are different from how they are at others.

But we had the boss.

We did have the boss.

The weekend was like, what, 15 years old last time that it was in Tampa?

Yeah.

Damn.

What were you going to say, Hank?

Are you going to bet the Bucs?

I'm 1,000% betting the Bucks.

Not a doubt in my mind.

I'm betting the Chiefs.

I want on the record.

I'm betting the Chiefs, but

I'm being honest with our audience and telling them that throughout the week, my brain is going to bounce back and forth.

And right now, I'm in a real Bucs mood.

I'm going to end up at the Chiefs, but right now I'm in a real Bucks mood.

I'm 100% betting the Chiefs.

I'm probably going to put a nuclear missile on

Bucks, Bucks, Bucks, Bucks, Bucks.

Even Hank doesn't know who he is.

The only thing that I've been wrestling with in my mind, because we're traveling, we're going to be in Philly, Ford.

I'm starting to pack.

And I was wondering, I have a lucky vest that I only wore for

the Patriots playoffs and the three Super Bowls.

I wore the same vest every time, three championships.

And I'm wondering,

it's my lucky

championship.

It's a Patriots vest.

It is.

But you, who did you bet on in the NFC championship game?

The Bucs.

I thought you bet on the Packers.

No, absolutely not.

Interesting.

Okay.

What did you wear during the glasses?

Also the vest?

I've worn the vest too, but it's won more than it's lost.

But that's what I'm saying.

Like, it's my, it's my, it's like, when I need a Tom Brady win, I throw this vest on.

But here's the problem.

Should I bring it?

Here's the problem, I think.

It's a good juju.

Yeah, but if you have, if, if the vest wins.

If the vest gets Tom Brady another Super Bowl, I think you've now erased all powers for the vest for the Patriots.

It's now a Tom Tom Brady vest, not a Patriots.

I might be okay with that.

You might just frame it, just put it on the wall and be like, all right, we got four championships out of this bad boy.

If you're going to unload on the Bucks, I guess you probably have to throw everything at it.

That's what I'm saying.

It's like, I mean, I have to wear something.

And like, this vest, it literally sits in my closet.

I don't bring it out except for like when I need it.

Here's what you do.

I need it.

You bring the vest.

You obviously bring the vest, but you don't put it on at the start of the game.

If the Bucs start to win, you leave the vest off.

If you need to change up the vest mojo, then boom, you've got the vest of destiny.

Right.

Don't waste the vest.

Because maybe the Bucs will win on their own.

Right.

You don't need it.

Billy's about to bite his fist.

We need those fists for Friday night.

I was just wondering.

Talking to my body.

Does Hank think that it was Belichick or Brady?

Oh.

How does that apply to the vestiges?

That's a discussion that hasn't happened before.

Both.

It's the whole team.

What's your name?

Yeah, Billy.

Where did he land on it?

Well, where does Hank land on it?

Who won the breakup, Billy?

Well, Tom Brady, of course.

Why?

He hasn't won anything.

Did you guys see the report, too, the Gronk, the most Gronk thing?

This is what sucks about not having Super Bowls.

We get the stupid stories, and we're not there for it.

And it feels like some of the stupid stories aren't coming out because there's just not enough media around digging for, all right, it's Wednesday.

What the fuck am I going to write about now?

Oh, I'm going to go visit Hulk Hogan's house where he

got illegally taped by Bubba the Love Sponge and like do a report from there.

But Gronk had, there was a report that Gronk in the offseason, the Bucs wanted to make sure that he was staying in shape and they would make him send videos of him sprinting and he would just change his shirt so he did all his workouts in one day

and then just kept on sending them on different days.

I mean that is the genius of Rob Gronkowski.

The Bucs don't have metadata.

If no,

if I were a coach on the Bucs and Tom Brady or Gronk sent me one of those, first clue that it's fake is like, there's no chance that Gronk is wearing a shirt at all to work out.

Something's amiss.

Now, if he had gone shirtless and changed the shorts, that would have fooled me.

Yeah.

But like if I'm watching Rob Gronkowski work out on a high school football field in the summertime and he's wearing a shirt, something's bogus.

Yeah.

He also definitely sent them a video like when it was raining all day and it was sunny.

Yeah.

He didn't go that far.

What do you think?

Have they announced the uniform colors?

Yes.

That's good.

The Bucs are wearing red.

White?

No, yes.

I think the Bucks are wearing red.

I don't like that.

Triple check.

I don't like that.

What did the Chiefs wear last year?

White?

Chiefs or red.

They were red.

No, so they're wearing red.

Chiefs are wearing the same color they wore last year.

I think that's correct.

Yes.

Yeah, yeah.

I remember it was just the same as last year.

Yeah, Buck's white.

Okay.

That's good for Tom.

Is it?

Yeah.

Why?

They always win the Super Bowl when the Patriots are wearing white.

Yeah.

Did you see the stat that Tom Brady is 6-1 against

animals and 0-2 against er, yeah, 0-2 against non-animals in the Super Bowl?

Chiefs aren't an animal.

No.

Giants are missing.

0-2.

What?

Bubba.

They lost to the Eagles.

Yeah, I know.

It's 6-1.

One lost.

One lost.

Once I read the quote you read earlier,

I was already at peace with my pick, but that just made me think it's going to be a blowout.

That quote, and unfortunately, Tom Brady is not like us.

Like, if I had 12 days to prepare, I'd be preparing on day 11 and a half.

I would be like, ooh, sick.

I got 12 days.

I'm going to sit in bed and scroll on Twitter for 11 of these 12 days, and then I'm going to start focusing on the big game.

Tom Brady is actually probably, like, he, that scared me.

That means that he's going to uncover something that he never saw, and it's going to come out in like the fourth quarter.

And then Peter King's going to fucking masturbate onto a piece of paper being like, Tom Brady found this in our

746 of sitting in his Tampa, Derek Jeters house by himself.

Yeah.

Super Bowl week.

You can see that happen.

Yeah, and Peter King, except he just introduced Tom Brady called me on my phone 15 minutes after the game was over and told me this.

He always has to toss that in there.

That same phone that was funded by illegally stolen hamburgers, Peter.

That's very true.

Pete.

Yeah, I'm still not scared.

I'm still not going off the Chiefs, but it is.

Yes.

No, I'm not.

You're right.

It's scary.

It's scary to think about.

And the white uniform stat, that actually scares me a little bit more.

My brain has flopped twice in the last 30 seconds because I can't picture the Chiefs winning a Super Bowl not wearing their red uniforms.

So if the Bucs were going to be wearing red, I was going to be more inclined to bet on them.

But now that I hear the Tom Brady stat about him always wearing white, winning Super Bowls, that makes me want to flop.

I'm staying with the Chiefs.

I'm staying with the Chiefs.

I am too.

I just, I'm being honest with everyone.

I even said this last week when I said I'm going to bet the Chiefs.

And I was like, listen, I'm going to go back and forth.

Good thing is I'm going to take the over no matter what, even though it looks like there might be rain.

But who cares?

That's fine.

Who cares?

No one cares.

Yeah, I think it's supposed to clear out beforehand.

So I love looking at forecasts seven days in advance and being like, I totally know what's going to be happening on Sunday.

Yeah, I'm actually looking forward to the storyline, and I'm surprised nobody's talked about this yet.

The Tyran Matthew-Bruce Arians connection about how Bruce took the chance to draft Tyran because back when Bruce was in school, he got kicked out for partying a little bit too hard.

And then he's like, this guy, this Honey Badger, reminds me a lot of me back in the day.

I did see the storyline of Bruce Arians, the greatest rushing quarterback to ever come out of Virginia Tech over Michael Vick.

But I need more of that content of Honey Badger.

I feel like the Honey Badger's been a little bit overlooked this season.

Yeah.

And he's like my favorite.

I think he's my favorite defensive player in the NFL.

Yeah, he's, yeah.

I mean, he, the Chiefs' defense overall has been overlooked.

I mean,

I know that the Bucs defense is statistically better, but the Chiefs do have that vibe of like when they need it, they still have dude.

Like Chris Jones, you'd put up Chris Jones against pretty much any other defensive player in this game, which is crazy to say, but it's like, yeah, they might have the best defensive player in the game.

Obviously, it's up to debate.

Chris Jones is that fucking good.

So we'll do the whole preview,

prop bets, everything on Friday.

Friday, we will have a Hall of Famer on the show and also Jose Conseiko.

So

that will be a great show.

It's going to be a great show.

We're going to be in West Virginia.

Billy's ready.

The other story we've got to talk about real quick, LeBron James versus courtside Karen.

So

LeBron James.

Now, Billy, I tasked you with this.

I know you're busy.

But apparently, LeBron James, how it went was he called this guy who was sitting courtside who was talking shit, old steroid ass, and then

the guy's wife started screaming at LeBron and got kicked out, and then afterwards was like, I'm defending my man.

I can just tell you,

I did a deep dive on her Instagram just so that I would be prepared for this show.

Yeah.

I don't really like her.

Why?

I think she might have a little bit of...

And I don't really like him either.

Carlo Daddy was his Instagram name.

I don't think I like them.

I'm a little terrified of her.

Yeah, I don't think she scares me.

And I'd also like to throw a flag on Courtside Karen.

We can embrace debate on this.

I think she's more of a Becky than a Karen.

I think Courtside Karen, if you tack like an extra 20 years on her and give her bangs, then she's a Karen.

Right now, this is textbook Becky.

The difference is...

Courtside Becky yells at LeBron.

Courtside Karen tells security that LeBron was calling her husband a steroid ass.

Yes.

So that's the big difference, I think.

So yeah, I agree with you there.

Yeah, I just, I don't know.

I don't know if I'm down with like their whole vibe.

They seem interesting.

So you know, she's 25.

He's whatever.

This isn't his first time going viral.

Oh, really?

Really close.

Yeah, there was a picture of him.

Carlo Daddy, please get it right.

With a different woman who was his girlfriend at the time.

It was the Hawks cleavage post.

It was just a

cleavage out.

Anyways, he gave it to me.

Nothing better than seeing boobs on courtside or front row.

You're like, whoa, I didn't expect boobs there.

Wait, I'm mixing sports with boobs?

Like, I usually go to boobs.

We should cite a website around.

I usually go to Huges for my porn, but boom, I'm just tuning in the game, and then there's boobs.

Yeah.

Fuck yeah.

That was a different era of the internet, too, when somebody could actually go viral just because there were big boobs on courtside.

I mean, the headline is just massive cleavage on the sideline at the Atlanta Hawks game.

That's all you need.

Alert.

And I alert.

Oh.

Lenny Dykes just smashed the bus.

Those are boobs.

Those are boobs.

I'm looking at it right now.

I'm looking at at the picture, confirmed.

For everyone who's wondering, boobs.

So Billy sent this to me because when the story was breaking, Billy was like, oh, I'm checking out this guy's LinkedIn right now.

It's sweet.

And I looked up Carlo Daddy's LinkedIn here.

It just lists all the different country clubs that he's a member of.

Yeah.

I think he's one of those guys that you don't want to fuck with because he's richer than rich could be, but no one really knows why or how.

There are those guys floating out there, and they all kind of look alike.

The Spray tan the alleged steroids that's by lebron not me i didn't allege that he had did steroids uh the wife that's like 40 years younger they all kind of have that vibe what are you gonna say he wouldn't need to do steroids if it wasn't for the women he dates oh he's so much younger yeah he's just trying to keep up with them he also has i i think he went private on instagram but i looked at his i looked at carlo daddy this morning and he had uh he actually robbed grenkowski to picture with his own son where he was it was like a picture of him reading with his son and then like a week later it was a picture of him reading with his son, but he's wearing the same shirt.

So, I think it was just one session.

Either his son completely lacks a drip, or it was just taking the same session.

But he had a bunch of fish that he caught shirtless.

So, credit to Carlo Daddy for that.

This was the biggest mind fuck for me when I looked at the couple.

I was like, that's got to be a typo.

This game was absolutely played in Miami.

This is a Florida couple.

Well, no, they migrated north.

They are,

if you see her Instagram profile, I think it says Atlanta/slash Miami.

Atlanta airplane.

Miami airplane.

What steroids?

TRT and a little bit of HGH, but I don't think it's the good stuff.

Oh.

Because he's loaded, but I don't think he's like Jeff Bezos loaded where he can get the real good stuff.

So how did you come to the conclusion with TRT?

His biceps?

What was it?

Well, his

company, his Republic National Distribution Company has relations with an anti-Asian clinic.

Gotcha.

Like xenophobic?

That's fucking.

Anti-aging.

Asian?

Oh, aging.

Clinic.

I can't.

Anti- What do they have against Asians?

Aging.

Oh, okay.

Ageists.

All right.

We disavow anyone who's anti-Asian.

Of course.

And anti-agist.

No, we should disavow anti-aging, too.

We're pro-Aging.

Agist.

No, I'm actually.

If he has his own anti-aging clinic.

Yeah, just inside my own brain looking down at my body.

How many people out there think that I'm actually 27?

I think a lot of people are.

Oh, 28.

Sorry.

Turn out my birthday.

Two times 88.

I think we've actually spoken that into existence.

I got a lot of people being like, man, you look like shit for 28, which, yeah, I do.

Sorry.

I live a tough life.

Well, it's better than whatever I get when everyone's like, dude, you're only 36.

Well, that fucking hurt my feelings.

Thanks a lot, guys.

All right.

So TRT and HGH.

I think these are.

This is alleged by LeBron, by the way.

Not by us.

LeBron called him an old steroid ass.

I think they're a young version of gun couple.

Takes what you know of them.

Yeah, I was going to say, do you think LeBron was projecting a little?

Methinks the lady doth protest too much.

I don't know.

Interesting.

Oh, I don't know.

Whoever smelt it dealt it.

What do you think that guy thought when Jeremy Lynn played on the Hawks?

Knowing his anti-age outside

stance?

Probably boycotted games.

Did Jeremy Lynn play for the Hawks?

Yeah.

I think so.

Yeah, he probably played everywhere, I guess.

He played everywhere.

He was definitely on the Hawks for a year.

All right, let's do hot seat cool throne.

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Hot seat cool throne, Hank.

My hot seat is the stonk market.

Oh,

not good.

Bad day.

I'm still holding.

No, you're not.

AMC.

It's not going well.

I'm holding everything.

It's not going well.

I only make money if you sell.

And I woke up.

I was upset this morning.

And then I looked at a like, you know, six-month chart, and I realized that when I bought, it was at, you know, the very high, which it was never, ever, that close to being ever before and probably never will be ever again.

So I have no one to blame but myself.

Yeah, I actually.

I bought more this morning, so that was pretty stupid.

I had that thought, too.

That's why I looked at the chart.

I did some, you know, the line you can just look at the line it's like it doesn't seem like it's gonna go back up but who knows who knows you know what who knows do what you want we're not gonna

need to hack elon elon needs to do a tweet although he said he was off twitter for a while right and because his fucking you know dave dave bought out like it's well that was my other house

uh

challenger well that was i was thinking about putting on the cool throne i won't i'm not gonna do that though good news good news are you still holding on doge because doge is still up 600 from when i bought it that's no 8 000 like like it used to be.

I got a lot of Bitcoin, a little bit of Doge, and way too much AMC.

It's just, you know, I think...

Do what you want.

People thought it was a revolution, and I think people weren't realizing it was

more of a fad.

The revolution's not over until you say it.

I'm like the 70-year-old hippie that won't stop doing drugs.

It turns out that

starting a revolution is very hard.

Yeah.

Very hard.

It's funny.

You got to have everyone fall in line.

Starting one's easy.

Finishing one's easy.

Getting one to a completion.

What are you going to say?

You don't know what to do once you're inside the capital.

Fuck.

Go back up, AMC.

Just do it.

Someone said you bought a glorified snack bar.

That hurt my feelings.

My cool throne is Canada.

Oh, yeah?

I just Canada,

great place, great country, great everything.

Are you mad that Biden won?

No, I just, you know, I love Canada.

I just love, I'm just, I was just, you know, thinking about how great Canada was and how much I love and appreciate all of our Canadian stoolies.

What is loyalist?

What's up?

I just, nothing's up.

What's the play?

Play Barstool has a Canada?

Hello there.

Well, actually, now that you bring it up, Big Cat,

a lot of people have been asking when you can play Play Bar Stool Canada.

And starting today, you can.

I got a question for you there, Hanky.

Yes.

I'd like to put some wagers on the stool streams.

Is that even possible for me up here in Manitoba?

Well, you can now,

Gordo, and you can bet on Billy football in the rough and roundy contest on Friday.

I say, no way, Jose.

No way, sir.

No way, Jose.

It's not bet.

It's free.

It is free.

It's free.

You can win real money.

$0, you can win $25,000.

$25,000 loonies.

That's a crazy thing.

I actually don't know what the conversion is.

That's crazy.

All right, PFT, what's your hot seat cool torque?

Well, my hot seat was going to be hands because people are, their hands are getting

paper, tiny hands, Alex Smith hands.

It really sucks for the guy who sold and also does have extremely small hands.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's got to really suck.

Uh-huh.

You probably have to be thinking, like, it's my fault.

Yeah.

If Drew Locke sold his fucking AMC seat this morning.

Yeah.

David Carr.

Darren Carr.

My coolthrown.

My cool throne is Staten Island Chuck because everyone's favorite Groundhog predicted that we were going to have, what, just two more weeks of winter?

Done.

So we're done.

We're done.

Winter's over.

We're in the middle of a blizzard right now.

Tropical Storm or Winter Storm Ursula or whatever the fuck this is.

That's what it's called.

It's got a name.

They just make up names to get ratings now.

That's how they get you.

Fuck Punk Satani Phil.

That guy sucks.

He does suck.

He's such a piece of shit.

Was it any surprise to anybody that Jeff Lowe knew the name of the off-brand Punk Punksatani Phil?

Staten Island Chuck?

Staten Island Chuck is a real one.

I like him.

I fucks with Chuck.

I fuck with Chuck.

And I want to punt Punxatani Phil to the moon.

Yeah.

Right with my Dogecoin.

Bill de Blasio, go down to Punxatoni.

You take care of that.

Well, that was the thing.

De Blasio dropped Chuck

a few years ago.

That's what I'm saying.

He killed him?

Yeah, he died after.

So it's a new shithead, yeah.

So it's a new Chuck Head.

That's why I'm shit.

So that's why we need de Blasio down there.

Winterstorm or Lena.

Orlena, yeah.

Ursula or Lena, whatever.

What's the difference between a woodchuck and a groundhog, by the way?

No.

Nothing.

Nothing?

There you go, Billy.

Exactly.

It's like saying it's like a cougar and a puma.

A cougar is...

Okay, a cougar and a

cougar

is a puma.

A cougar, a puma, and a mountain lion are all the same thing.

Okay.

And

a dog.

How are they different than a beaver?

The beaver and the woodhuck.

Beavers are huge.

What's the difference between a dog and a cat?

Beavers?

Uh-huh.

Oh, I stumped them?

No.

It's a stupid question.

Beavers, if you saw a beaver in real life, they're like way, they're not like rodent-sized.

They're like actually huge.

No one thought they were.

No one thought they were.

That beaver was a size of a cat.

No, dude, like people think, oh, beaver is probably like this big.

Beavers are.

I thought a beaver is like about as long as...

You're thinking the tail.

How big is a beaver?

Bigger than a dog.

Like around the door.

20 pounds.

Depends how old.

How old she is.

30, 40?

Yeah, that's what we all thought.

Beavers were.

No one's.

Wait, no, I didn't think a beaver was 40.

American beaver ranges 24 to 71 pounds.

Okay.

71 pounds.

71 pound beaver, bro.

That's what I, I never thought a beaver was like a rat.

Yeah, but you thought it was like maybe like bigger than a squirrel.

This thing's huge.

No, I thought a beaver was like, yeah, like a small dog.

71 pounds, that was pretty big.

Yeah.

That's that's about where I thought a beaver landed.

Hmm.

Okay.

You're looking at different beavers than I am.

Yeah.

Listen.

Beavers bigger than you think.

Oh, nice, Billy.

No, no, I wasn't even.

You like your beavers bigger?

I saw a shirt the other day that was, uh, fuck, what was it?

Uh, or did you see that?

Bigger, bigger the fupa, tastier the chaloopa.

I like that.

Shout out, Chris Christie.

Shout out, Chris Christie.

All right, my hot seat.

Well, my hot seat was going to be Punksatani Phil.

Fuck that bitch.

My cool throne is EA Sports and the return of NCAA video game.

The best day.

I haven't seen the internet universally love something more than this game returning.

It is so fucking great.

It is going to take like two or three years, which who cares?

That's the most college football thing, too, to like schedule this three years in advance.

Who cares?

It will get here soon enough.

Like, you just set it and forget it.

You know what I mean?

Like, this was a monumental day.

This was a great day.

It felt great.

And then you'll just forget that it happened.

And then in like two years, you're like, hey, guess what?

Next month, we get the video.

Yeah, I'm very excited about it.

It's so much better than Madden.

Madden stinks now.

He played the new Madden.

If EA was smart, they put Dougs in the game.

Put some codes in there.

And thanks to Darren Revelle for that nice back-hand accomplished, which I'm not taking any credit because it's the likeness rule.

But he tweeted, I hate to say it.

But I'm like, why did you have to say it?

What did he say?

He was drinking pissy Cheerios today.

Yeah, I hate to say it, but Big Cat was like monumental in bringing this game back.

It's like, why'd you have to say you hate to say it?

Yeah, he's fucking hateful.

He's still bitter that, what's her name, left him?

Leslie.

he still hasn't tracked her down three-year-old leslie but wait is this going to be the same game because i saw some rumors out there that

well the first thing that stuck out to me after being excited about it was it's not called ncaa football they called it college football workshop so are they are they still going to have like university of notre dame are they going to have yes yes are you sure yes that's yeah they're going to have the official yes or is it going to be like no no no that's right no it's all the way back it's all the way back in that respect i hope it's not like madden though because madden they've made, it's too hard to move everyone, and the game kind of sucked.

They should just update whatever, the 2014 version.

Just make it a little bit nicer.

But I'm worried that since they're changing the name, it's not going to be the same.

No, I think the whole reason why it's coming back is the likeness deal.

Okay.

It's because they actually can do this for real now.

So I'm excited.

I'm very excited.

Great news.

It really was.

I don't remember anything being

applauded unanimously on Twitter.

We got to find the one guy.

He's like, fuck that game.

Probably some dude who's yelling about GameStop right now.

He's like, all these millennials are going to just waste their life away playing video games and trading stocks.

Wait, so shouldn't the stock have gone up for GameStop knowing that the most popular video game ever was going to become?

Unfortunately, no.

Those old bastards at the hedge funds don't know entertainment.

Billy.

My hot seat is Jose Conseco.

I'm going to skull fuck him with my fists.

But also,

hot seat, Amazon Jeff Bezos just stepped down as CEO, which is kind of weird as fuck.

What?

That's just anyway.

Something's coming.

Yeah, something's coming.

My cool throne is Pranks and Boobs.

A bunch of pranksters went to the Hollywood sign and replaced it with Holly Boob.

Which is funny.

I love that.

That's awesome.

Wait, say it again?

Hollywood.

The Hollywood sign.

Oh, Holly Boob?

Yeah, they put boob with the W and the D.

It was the chick, the Julia Rose flash at the at the World Series chick.

Ah.

Those are nice people.

She just found her lane.

Yeah.

Why is Bezos Bezos stepping down?

I don't know.

Were people

there like business people who are like, yeah, if you didn't see this coming, you don't, you're not following business.

Well, guess what?

I'm not.

He's going to focus full-time on developing more dogs, more robot dogs that are going to kill us all.

He's going to take over the world.

Oh, and I would actually be a boss move.

Like, I'd respect that.

Yeah.

If Jeff Bezos, like, I am stepping down from Amazon to take over the world.

See you bitches in the third fiscal quarter.

Just cool thrown Quinn News.

He posted a video dunking, which is sick at 300 pounds.

Okay, nice.

Nice.

Poole respects masks.

All right.

Did you have anything, Jake?

Yeah.

Hot seat France.

The Olympic basketball schedule came out, and U.S.

plays France first.

Can we please put Vince Carter on that team?

Just for that one game.

Just so that he can teabag another 7 people.

He's definitely in shape enough.

And then cool thrown, Vince Young.

He's returning to Texas.

He has

forget the exact role, but not a coach.

Dude around.

Yeah, he's basically had that role at Texas for like three of the first time.

I thought he was a coach and they brought him back.

No, they always come up with a new title for him.

He's like

quarterback special assistant in athletic department.

Yeah, quarterback in emeritus.

Yeah, that works.

Emeritus.

That's like the best thing to, that's the best job to have if you're a legend.

Yeah, you're always welcome.

Right, exactly.

Bagman.

Why would you say that about Vince?

Recurring guest.

Sorry.

Very rude.

All right, let's get to our interviews.

Let's do Cousin South first, and then we'll have Ozzie Guin right after that.

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And now, here's Cousin Sal.

Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest.

It is Cousin Sal.

He has a book out.

The book is You Can't Lose Them All, Tales of a Degenerate Gambler and His Ridiculous Friends.

Cousin Sal, it's great to have you on.

I want to thank you first and foremost for not sending us your book so we don't have to pretend that we actually read it.

It's just easier this way, right?

Yeah, you're the first person I I think we've ever had on who's pitching a book that didn't even attempt, like, you didn't even ask, like, hey, what's your address?

Let me send a couple.

No, no, no, no.

We're just going to pretend, you know, that we're going to read it someday, but everyone else should go buy it.

You got me back by sending me the Zoom link to this interview 45 seconds before we started.

So I guess it's tit for tat.

Keep you on your toes.

You're the king of pranks.

Why don't you just, why don't you describe the cover for us?

Because that's all we were going to read anyways.

Yeah.

The cover is me giving away my my baby losing a blackjack hand, but everyone is confused.

They think the baby is being handed to me by the dealer and they're not looking at the cards.

So already I can't get off on the right foot with the cover.

But yeah, that's it.

That's all you need to know.

That would almost be worse if you lost a blackjack hand and your punishment was here.

You have to raise this child.

Yeah.

Yes, that's true.

That's a good point.

Yeah.

We need to look into that.

Are there pictures in this book?

Yeah, I was thinking, I was like, God, I have so many damn pictures.

Don't people wouldn't people rather see pictures than read?

Reading is terrible, right?

It just sucks.

And I don't recommend anyone begin with my book.

But yeah, I had like four pages of pictures and there's like six on each page.

And I'm like, why don't we do 20 pages of pictures?

And they're like, oh, no, that's not cost efficient at all.

So yeah, sorry.

You just get to see my big fat grandmother playing.

uh playing the the slot machine so what's that i also see that you have the forward by jimmy kimmel so credit to you for going outside your circle for that one

huge you know my agent met him in uh aspen and they hit it off and it's uh i was like hey can you call in a favor yeah no it was one of those things where uh jimmy would have been very upset if i didn't uh ask him but yes uh he did a good job uh slamming me left and right and forward he had you on his show for the first time right It's been like 18 years, and he finally invited you on.

What's up with that?

I've been doing pranks for him forever and even on radio before before then but that it was in fact the first time i sat down and uh got interviewed by him for for like six minutes we ended up cutting out like two and a half minutes worth of uh inside stuff that made him cringe but um i think what was left was decent so uh speaking of the pranks do you walk around the offices of jimmy kim alive and everyone just flinches yeah it's uh it's pretty crazy but yeah over the years i've had my certain you know now with every everyone's very touchy so i had about six or seven marks that i can continually go back to In fact, I once did a no prank prank in which the cameras just followed me around and people were flinging out because as soon as they saw them and like I'd have a piece of pizza just to give to my friend Brad who like kicked it out of my hand and he got nuts.

I imagine it's like that at your office too.

Just a lot of shenanigans.

Yeah, I heard that you're

the sober guy.

So you don't drink, you don't smoke, but you hang around people who do.

And then at the end of the night, they're easy marks for you.

That's kind of bullshit.

That's kind of batting practice.

Oh, is it really yeah well i i don't i i'm not uh you know it's not totally selfless like i i have too many vices i eat like a slob and i gamble and what if i drink like i don't know i want to i want to stay alive another six or seven years at least so it's uh it's mostly because and i'm not fun when i when i drink either but um yeah i like to have my my wits about i'm told that at one point you uh you threw a piece of ham across the room and hit Dave Damashek in the face, just like sniped him, absolutely drilled him with it.

did you did you intentionally choose ham or did you think about going for like a harder meet, like a salami?

You know, it's funny.

I did have an assortment of cold cuts, and people were sleeping on a plane, and uh, I thought that was you talking about rude, and uh, you know, they I think you got to be up, you got to be awake and aware.

And yeah, I went down the roads and threw assorted salamis at people, and Dave got the ham.

Lucky for him.

Uh, usually, when we have guests on, I'll look up old tweets and mean things that I've said about them, but I got to give you credit because I went to try to find it and all I had was from 2014.

I wrote, How the hell did Cousin Sal end up on Sports Center?

That guy has a dream life of just being a guy.

Oh, that's nice.

That's not terrible.

Yeah.

Right?

Like, and I actually, you just said it.

I mean, I think that we're we're, uh, we might be cousins because the way you described it is like, I, you know, I don't really drink myself.

My vices are eating like a slob and gambling as well.

Uh, do you bet on all sports?

Because I know you talk talk NFL all the time, but are you actually gambling on college basketball every night?

Because that is the

best slash worst sport to gamble on.

It's terrible.

And are you guys nervous about like the next six weeks?

Like we're in the dog days, right?

Like before the NCAA tournament to the Super Bowl.

I mean, I hate that.

I hate that.

I have to do podcasts on this for hours and fill time and pretend that I care about if LeBron is going to win an MVP or not.

But yeah, I bet everything.

I bet hot dog eating contests.

We're with legitimate books now that don't recognize award shows betting and hot dog eating contests.

But yeah, I'm all over the place with that stuff.

When I was in the hot dog eating competition, I cashed the over for everyone for 11 and a half.

You did, right?

Yeah, in the Nathans.

I love this time.

I disagree with you.

So that actually,

I'm going to maybe pull your gambling card there.

I think February, when you're betting like Providence versus Marquette and 19-year-olds are trying to make big decisions with 30 seconds left, and teams foul, and then they stop fouling, and then there's no rhyme or reason.

I love that stuff.

That's my favorite.

All right.

I know what it is.

I think I'm just so depressed that football's over.

It takes me a couple of weeks to rejuvenate, and then it doesn't really start until March.

Which hot dog eating contest with how many years ago was it?

I was in Nathan's in 2015, 16.16.

PETA attacked me with fake blood, covered me in fake blood.

That's right.

I remember that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think I wrote a terrible tweet about you then.

Let me look it up.

Let me see if there's a...

No, I didn't.

I bet that hot dogging contest, and I bet that exact one, I bet Joey Chestnut, who obviously won, right?

I bet that the winner would have under 72 and a half hot dogs consumed.

ESPN is showing 64 after 10 minutes.

I'm celebrating.

Finally, you know, I bet something you have to bet baseball this summer, it sucks.

I win, and then that carnival barker idiot interviews him afterwards and he's like, oh, 64 hot dogs, it was enough, not your best.

And he's like, actually, they forgot a plate.

I ate 74.

And they're like, 74, a new record.

I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Wait a minute.

They're not going to check this?

Really?

That's it.

He wanted, you could just say whatever you want.

See, like, yeah, you should have, I think you started following me a couple years ago.

You might not have been following me back then, but I was, so I was backstage with Joey Chestnut and I was like, what's the deal today?

Like, how are we feeling?

And he said that the humidity was perfect and they were fast buns.

He said that exact quote fast buns which i i didn't know that was a real thing but apparently it is so he kind of called his shot backstage he's like yeah today's the day like it's not too hot not too cold fast buns i already see them so yeah you got i mean you should have just you should have done your research really that's your fault oh damn it's so funny because i do research on stuff like that for like the anthem the length of the anthem in the super bowl it's going to be over or under and i've actually had tips before from publicists who represent certain singers and they're like oh it's going way over the rehearsal.

There's six people in this rehearsal.

She went for it.

And it ended up being bum advice.

So I don't even know what to do anymore.

That was bullshit a couple of years ago when the singer sang the word brave twice and then they stopped it after the first time she ended the word brave.

That's the type of thing.

Like, how do you appeal that?

It's the most controversial of all the Super Bowl pops because not only what you just said with the start and stop with brave, but also you're depending on the network and the director because oftentimes they'll cut to the fighter jets overhead while the performer is saying brave.

And you're like, all right, was that four seconds?

Was that 11 seconds?

I have no idea.

So it's a good one to stay away from.

Well, not to out-degenerate you here, cousin Sal, but like you, I mean, this is pretty much my book.

I should have written this book, but I actually,

before Barstool Sportsbook, I sing the Rough and Rowdy.

We have a fight league.

I sing the national anthem and they put out a line for it.

And I made sure I held all the notes as long as possible so everyone could cash the over.

And then they stopped doing that forever.

They're like, we can never do this again.

Yeah, that's it.

That's good thinking.

Well, at least this February, there's going to be FCS football.

So we're going to, people forgot about that.

They delayed their season

until the end of the FBS.

And so we're going to get like James Madison.

We're going to get like all the New England schools and the small ones.

So we're going to be able to at least have football on Saturday afternoons to gamble on.

It might not be what you'd want to be reading on, but it should tide you over.

Yeah.

Yeah, you're right.

I'll take that.

I do feel with uh this is different because it's college you're right but i do feel with like the the uh fringe leagues that they try to start up in the spring i get uh i get excited and then like one two weeks in i'm like who the hell am i even rooting for there's not even a he hate me uh to to latch on to yes yeah all right i'll try to get february going so what's your what's your worst beat of all time you know there there was one i had uh Oklahoma State money line, ridiculous money line.

They were minus 17.

So it was on a parlay.

It was like minus 3,000, but I needed them the cash over Central Michigan.

And it doesn't get worse than this.

Tell me, Mason Rudolph has the ball up four with four seconds left in the fourth quarter.

How do you lose that?

He threw a pass that was deemed grounding.

Somehow Central Michigan got the ball back and came down on a crazy, you know, 75 lateral play.

And I lost.

And I don't know.

Can you beat up four with the ball in fourth quarter and four seconds left?

But that's maxion.

When you get max schools involved,

that actually isn't even a bad beat because max schools will always have that random thing happen to them.

Yeah, that's true.

Those Tuesday, Wednesday night games, like you, when you watch them, it's the unexpected.

That's, I almost expect that to happen.

You're right.

They shouldn't take those games off the board.

It's almost unfair.

All right.

So that one, any other big ones?

I mean, you know,

the hot dog eating contest I mentioned, they're dumb ones.

I bet La La Land.

I mean, the worst beats are the ones where you're told you won and you lost, right?

I bet La La Land, I had on on a four-legged parlay with the best actress, supporting actor, director.

I just needed La La Land.

Jimmy Kimmel, my cousin, was hosting the Oscars on backstage.

And all of a sudden, you know, three producers with ponytails, men running around scared.

They're like, oh, whoa, whoa, there's a problem here.

So while Kimmel and the writers are celebrating a job well done, I'm like putting my fist through a wall because I got my La La Land win taken away when they gave it to Moonlight.

So that's a bad one.

I had the pass interference one.

I had a lot on that Saints Rams game.

They make a rule for whenever they change a rule because you got screwed.

I think that's a bad beat on the pass interference.

Then it became renewable and then it wasn't.

What are some of your guys?

It's tough.

Well, real quick, was the Oscars, was that just a Jimmy Kimmel prank?

Was this like an elaborate ruse where he was just fucking with you?

I looked around.

Believe me, I looked around for the lipstick cameras and there didn't seem to be any.

And yeah, to this day, I still wonder.

My worst was the Utah versus Duke game in 2015 in the NCAA tournament.

And they

brought them back out to shoot free throws.

So it's kind of like what you're saying.

When it's over, I had Utah plus, I don't know, six, five or six.

If I go look it up, it's funny.

I'll look it up just to remind myself sometimes.

And then all the stories that were written are just my tweets embedded just bitching about the refs and being like, this is a travesty.

I can't believe this happened.

That's when you know you got a bad beat when it's just, you just relive yourself through the whole thing.

Yeah.

Well, and also think about now.

So now you can live bet events and games, right?

So what would the live bet line be on Utah after you basically won?

Like

you basically wouldn't have it, right?

You wouldn't be able to live bet the other side.

So to me, those are the ones where it's 0% chance the other way where you could start thinking and screaming.

That reminds me of a game that we play on this show every week.

We call it What's the Spread.

So do you want to play some What's the Spread with us?

We'll do some Super Bowl props.

We'll do some prop type.

So you tell us, we're going to, no cheating, and he's, PFD is going to say it, and then you're going to say, what's the spread?

Okay.

All right.

A safety to be spread.

Wait, wait, hold on, hold on.

I don't think you understand the rules.

Do you get the rules?

I don't know if I get the rules.

I've been doing this

exact bit for 13 years.

I get you.

What's the spread?

What are you talking about?

You've been doing what's the spread?

What's the spread is a very much catchier title than Guess the Lines.

But yeah, What's the Spread is Guess the Lines?

What are you talking about?

Why would you ever ever call guess the line what's the spread

talk about academy awards right now

what are some of the props you like it's it's it's young it's early for this i i feel it have you guys figured out how you've done in tom brady's super bowls because i think i'm like i think i'm two and seven well i had uh the over in the rams patriots super bowl that was one of my finest moments and i and i still

you know what i still i remember watching while watching that game i was like if they just get one touchdown either side this thing will break open and then it what ended like 13 to 3 or something so

that was bad

i definitely had uh i had the broncos against the seahawks in the super bowl that that was a tough one but at least it was over quick

yeah yeah at least it was over fast Yeah, I don't know.

I can't

betting on him or against him.

I have trouble with Brady.

Like I said, I think two out of nine.

I definitely had Atlanta, and it was worse than losing just 28-3.

I had three and a half.

I bought the hook.

So even if the Patriots pull off the impossible and go to overtime, I could still win if they kick a field goal.

But no, right down the field and

running play to score.

Well, there's always a thing, too.

I guess it's different this year because Brady's on the Bucs, but there was a thing at the end with the Patriots where it was a double loss.

Because if you went against the Patriots

and you lost, you would feel extra dumb because everyone would just reply and be like, dude, how'd you go against Brady and Belichick?

Like, that's what I bet on them against the Titans when his last game is a Patriot because I was thinking to myself, sometimes you'll bet things where you'll say, I just don't want to look stupid.

And then sometimes, like Sunday night, we both loved the Bills, and boy, did we look stupid.

Like everyone just trashing us on Twitter.

That's a look stupid when you bet against Patrick Mahomes only giving three points.

You look back and you're like, what the fuck was I thinking?

Right, but which is the look stupid side, right?

You bet against the better team, which is obviously the Chiefs, or betting against Brady.

Like, oh, that's stupid.

Why did you bet against Brady in the Super Bowl?

So I don't know.

i just don't think he'll embarrass himself if i can get three and a half and they're down nine in the fourth like we got a shot at a backdoor cover or something right yeah well just give me a look on um on the coin toss you bet the coin toss you have to bet the coin toss by the way i you know forget about uh the whatever your company you're affiliated they now have heads it's called barstool sports it's not hard to figure that out no no no i'm saying in general people forget about what you uh where you go but uh you could bet heads or tails, or you could bet, will the coin toss be picked correctly?

Yeah.

And so now I'm trying to figure out every variation of that parlay.

And so, you know, I lose thousands before the kickoff.

There we go.

I go heads.

I like that.

I like parlaying the coin toss.

That's next level stuff right there.

So you can go.

Will the team pick it correctly?

What is the result going to be?

And will the team that wins the coin toss win the game?

You can do a three-legged parlay and get rich, Jeff, just on that.

Yeah.

That's a third level.

I forgot about that.

You also seem to me like

another similarity between us is that you

bet a lot of favorites.

Do you think that the people are wired?

Our producer, Hank, he loves betting big money line dogs and just rubbing it in our face.

Like, he had Poirier money line against McGregor, and he was the only one.

We're all at the sports book.

He's the only one who had it.

Do you think that it's something you're just born with?

Either you're like the big balls on the table money line, you know, plus 400 guy, or you're a scaredy cat like me and you parlaying a million favorites, hoping it hits.

No, I parlay a million favorites.

And it's basically, and I'm not going to say I'm better at than this at anyone else, but I've been bitten the ass.

I feel like all through college, I would bet underdogs and

they wouldn't cover or they would lose or something.

And I'm like, you know what?

These teams play to win games, right?

So I'd rather have a good quarterback on a big money line parlay, Oklahoma State aside, But I'd rather parlay like four or five of them together over a Saturday or Sunday and try.

They're all trying just to win.

They're not trying to win by six or seven.

So I would do that.

Otherwise, you're rooting for some shit head quarterback on an inferior team in the fourth quarter to score a touchdown, to bring it within four or something.

Do you ever get involved in the really stupid ones, which I'm admittedly, I like to do this sometimes.

You bet that there won't be a safety.

And I think that pays out like minus 1600 or something along those lines.

Absolutely.

i mean i can't think of too many examples that's an excellent one the one thing about the safety is they don't adjust that they don't um it happened like twice in three years the super bowl you talked about right uh the the denver right off the bat the high snap and then it was a safety There was another one, oh, when Brady got called for intentional grounding.

That was the only call ever against him in the history of the sport against the Giants.

That was a safety.

And they didn't change it.

I don't know what the odds are.

Was it like that was for first score, though?

So I think that was like 35 to 1.

it has nothing to do with algorithm they keep it at 35 to 1 regardless if it has happens five times in a row or um never so uh yeah but to answer your question i'm all over that stuff

i i mean that stuff is is the fun is the fun things to like bet on just especially the super yeah and if it's happened so often recently it's like it's not going to happen again i know that's not at all how probability works but at least in my brain that's definitely how it is it's like the the safest time to fly is right after a plane crash fact that's right That's how I think.

I think even like even a smaller sample size, oh, the underdog covered in the NFC championship game, the Chiefs are going to dominate now, right?

Like it's stupid to think that way, but I've zigzagged so many times before.

No, they're all related.

It absolutely is true.

They're all related.

The wild card round this year was a perfect example.

We have a friend who's a big Steelers fan.

And I was, before the Bears game started, I told him, if the Bears lose this game, the Steelers are going to lose because one of these favorites has to lose outright.

So I was like, this is going to happen.

So you better be rooting for the Bears to win.

Otherwise, you have 0% chance.

I absolutely believe in that stuff.

It's ridiculous that it works out that way.

But if you look back in history, that is exactly how it plays out.

What did you think about the Nickelodeon game?

That's one that I bet on the Bears when I was watching it.

And it's like insult to injury when you're getting slimed and losing a bet at the same time.

Yeah, I'm with you.

I was in the Nickelodeon thing for like 20 minutes, and then I'm like, I want to hear Romo.

This is nice for kids.

And I get what they're doing.

You would want to hear Romo.

You like Romo?

He named his son Romo.

You like Romo?

Oh, this interview is about to end abruptly.

Yeah, I'm friendly with Tony Romo.

Oh, great.

Can you tell him to just fucking chill out once in a while?

What's it?

Why?

Who did he root against?

No, he didn't root against anyone.

He's great at explaining the game.

It's when he makes his sounds, when he does the,

I don't know, Jim.

And he just gets super, super excited.

That's when we're like, hey, just let it breathe a little, Tony.

Hold on.

You are going after someone for being excitable, showing emotion, and then analyzing a game?

Like, this is really what you're doing?

Too much.

He plays it on a little thing.

It's called letting the game speak for itself.

Let it breathe.

Yeah, let it breathe.

Let the Joe Buck let the announcement, you know, you can hear the crowd.

You can feel the ambiance.

He lets the moment speak for itself.

Sometimes Tony Romo will interrupt the moment.

Well, Joe Buck is a play-by-play guy, and he's the, I don't know, I feel like the ten million dollar paycheck uh leads me to think that he might be doing some right the things right i also you think goodell's doing a great job too because he makes 40 million i actually do yeah oh really

yeah what about mike mccarthy are you are you of the mindset like you're you're just lining up the next coach already or if sean payton we haven't had that rumor going in a while that sean payton is gonna move to dallas after this season new orleans like are you all in on mccarthy like jerry jones or are you like get this guy out of here

you know i uh i'm gonna cut him some slack because whenever the starting quarterback gets hurt, although things didn't look promising, you know, those first few games when he was there coaching-wise.

But I'm such a Jason Garrett hater that I need,

this guy could do crap for two years and I would be fine.

I really would.

But boy, that you talk about there's a lot of coaches who have been trampled for not going for it on fourth and one.

McCarthy's the only one who went for it this year and got crapped for it.

It was fourth and 12 that Thanksgiving play, which I'm still sick and vomiting up cranberries from.

But yeah, the game may have passed him by, but I'm willing to give him another year.

Yeah, and I mean, I was out on him and then he started smashing watermelons.

And then all of a sudden, the entire season seemed to turn around.

That was bullshit, Sal.

You know that.

Like, as a gambler, my two biggest bets I probably lost this year were when the Cowboys decided to smash a watermelon before the game, and then they came out and looked like fucking Super Bowl champs.

That shit's not fair from a gambler's perspective.

I don't like it at all either.

I don't know what to tell you.

Don't bet the cow.

I have like 24 teams that I can't bet anymore, and the Cowboys are one of them.

We had Jeffree Ross on the show a few months ago.

It might have been a year ago.

Do you think that you went too far in the prank war?

No.

He's the Roastmaster General, and all of a sudden

there's rules.

There's some kind of cat of the brochure we have to check for rules in terms of pranking and jokes and roast.

No,

I think it was great.

He had the lowest combined score ever for a dancer.

Why did he think, why did he believe me when I told him he was safe?

That's what everyone should be focusing on.

Yeah, he was crushed.

Like when we brought it up to him, you could tell he was still kind of hurt.

It took a good six months.

Did he tell you the whole story?

Like how Tom Cruise had to bring us together?

Cruz was at Kimmel's house and watching football.

And we did it basically like a trial and we both pled our case.

And he's like, why don't you both just grow up already?

And his mother was involved and everything.

It was weird.

But yeah,

back then, like Kimmel had the heads up as to who was going to be kicked off of dancing with the stars because he then had to interview them an hour later.

It was like a prerequisite for

ABC.

So that's why Ross was reaching out to me and that's why he believed when I said he was safe.

But like I said, he was a terrible, terrible dancer.

Why he thought he had a chance is beyond me.

What's the setup like at Jimmy's house on a Sunday?

Do you guys still do that?

Well, we took a break this year.

Actually, we're at Corolla's warehouse now.

And we haven't in the last few weeks because of all the craziness with the virus.

But yeah, he has a warehouse full of classic cars once owned by Paul Newman.

And outside of that area, he has a giant screen TV.

And we

split it into the eight boxes and we watch and he makes us rewind commercials and then he analyzes the commercials for 43 minutes and we end up behind watching the games.

It takes us some 14 hours to watch six hours worth of games, but it's a lot of fun.

Is

Who's the biggest jinx there?

Who's the guy who like will either be the biggest mush or the minute he starts talking about, you know, how his bets are doing, everything reverses?

It's probably my friend Brad, who is, he's, you know, he's already, he's like 45 years old, but behaves like a 12-year-old.

He shows up with all kinds of candy from 7-Eleven and like tiki punch.

And he's, yeah, he's basically got the same bets as us and rooting him on.

And then he'll like crash at like 10,000, 11.30 in the morning because because he's all hopped up on sugar and we don't hear from him.

And yeah, miraculously, like you point out, our team starts doing well until he wakes up again and then it's downhill.

But yeah, he is most from Bronxdale.

I love that you guys have kind of just collected a bunch of guys out there.

Like your group of friends, it's like the West Coast Adam Sandlers, where it's like, once you're in our group, we're just going to have you around because we like hanging out with you.

And you'll be involved on camera stuff, off-camera stuff.

Who's the weirdest guy that you've collected?

God, that is so tough.

You know, probably,

probably, there's Brad, there's probably, there's my friend Harry, who I met in college, and he really stepped up my gambling game.

You know, we used to,

we used to bet.

We got in bad with the local bookie, but luckily the guy was also ran the rec league, 13-year-old basketball.

and he liked us.

So he's like, you guys could ref basketball games if you want.

We'll pay you at $6 a game.

And I'm like, great.

I would still be reffing the games to try to pay off the hundreds of dollars.

It could have been millions.

It didn't matter.

I didn't have the money.

And so Harry and I are refing.

And then Harry, we got bored and we started betting each other on the games that we're reffing.

And so there would be like phantom travel calls and, you know,

everything and charges and foul.

And the parents were getting mad.

Like oftentimes they would follow us out and we didn't have a car.

They followed us as much as we want they wanted to walk because we're walking home after the games.

And eventually the bookie's like, all all right we're not doing this anymore we had a we got fired from that

what uh so this is a real question like you've had an incredible career you know working with your cousin jimmy you've been you've done smackdown you know you have the podcast with simmons on mondays what is it the key what's the key to you being successful at what you do and being the guy who you know i read my tweet like just being a guy because i think there is something to it that even though you've had all this success you're a very relatable guy i think it's the same with you guys.

And I watch you watching games and you have the feed and there's you're, you're nervous watching games.

Like, I try not to be anything that I'm not, you know, like I'm, I maybe don't win 50% of the time, right?

I'm not going to go out there and tell people, follow my picks.

I win 59% of the time.

You'll clear 14 units.

Like that's nonsense.

You know, you get like these stat heads and you put them on TV and it looks like they're shooting like a hostage video.

There's no personality and it's just not real.

It's just like, you know, I like what you guys do.

I like what I do.

I sit there, we bemoan our losses.

We talk about it on Monday, like, oh, we got crushed.

Like, yeah, I don't know.

I also think people want to hear about losses more than they do wins, right?

Because it's more, it's right.

It's more in their lane and it just

rings true for some reason.

Yeah.

Also, people just love feeling smarter than us.

And so we give them ample material to work with on that side.

Like you don't want to, you don't want to watch somebody on TV and feel inferior to that person.

If anything, you want to do the exact opposite where you're like, that guy's an idiot, but I'm going going to tune in to watch how dumb he is.

Right, exactly.

I think there's something to that, too.

And owning your losses is big, too, because there is a lot of people on TV, they'll try to call their shot, and then they'll pivot and they'll be like, well, I wasn't really wrong.

It's, I think it's funnier when you like, I don't want to be wrong.

I don't want to lose.

I lose a lot.

But for instance, back to the AFC championship game,

I mean, we were.

PFT had Mahomes in the hospital, and I had the Bills winning by double digits.

So then when the game happens, we could not have gotten it collectively more wrong.

And I think people enjoy that a little bit, even though I didn't enjoy losing the bet.

But it was kind of funny watching everything we predicted go the exact opposite way.

But you know what's great about that?

And I really, I came to a come to Jesus moment about it, just like last week.

I'm like, for the most part, you could be wrong seven weeks in a row.

And people will still listen to you.

You could yell and scream about week eight, about the, you know, about the Chiefs in the Super Bowl, even though you came off a terrible prediction it's like wow you're not gonna you're not gonna for the most part lose listeners or viewers as a result and uh we're in a pretty good business in that regard yeah that's true um you work with uh one of my favorite musicians i guess you can call him a musician singer of all time dickie barrett from the boss honest yeah uh the best does he just can he turn the voice on and off because i know he's the he's the announcer and when i hear him announcing for the show he doesn't have that he doesn't do the thing where he's like gargling his entire throat while he's saying it.

Does he just have like a switch that he turns?

You know, what's funny about that?

In the beginning, many years ago, when he started as the announcer, he would do it.

He's like, no, Jimmy Campbell.

And our agent, James Baby Dahl Dixon, said, baby, you can't do that.

It's late at night.

People are trying to fall asleep, which is a weird advice to give, you know, to someone who's starting a

first.

Yeah, people are trying to sleep during this talk show.

But Dickie was insulted, but then realized that that was the right call.

And I think it saved his voice.

I mean, he actually lost his voice probably in 1993, but it saved what was left of his voice for a while.

But yeah, Dickie's a great guy.

A lot of fun.

So I haven't seen you tweet in support of the Ringer Union.

What's up with that?

Good question, buddy.

Well, I got another gotcha question for you.

One of your, I guess you'd call him a co-worker constantly, I guess you could say he appeals to the dumbest, most ignorant people on the planet Earth.

And I'm just curious if you ever get sick of Russillo talking about weightlifting so much.

I love it.

I love the misdirect.

What are you talking about?

What are you talking about?

He's a good friend of mine.

Who are you talking about?

Who are you thinking about?

I'm about to shoot Foxbet Live.

I really thought you were going another way about it.

Rachel Bonetta.

No, yeah, I know.

And

we know Todd Furman.

He's a straight shooter.

Rosillo's fine.

Good enough guy.

I would talk about the, I would talk, I would tell you a couple of things about the other one that you were alluding to.

Who's that?

I don't know who you're talking about.

Matt Damon.

Okay.

Yeah.

Matt Damon.

Matt Damon.

Do you hang out with Matt Damon routinely?

Are you just like hanging out with him?

No, not routinely.

I've gone to a couple of concerts with him, and he's been to Jimmy's house.

you know pro wrestling you know it is kfeb that it's it's not true they don't hate each other as much as they lead on on television, but good guy, Matt Damon.

And I hate all the Boston stuff.

Believe me, I've had enough of all the Boston people, but he's a good guy.

What's the most star-studded like Sunday afternoon at Jimmy's house?

Like, was there ever a moment where you looked around?

It was like, what the hell?

There's this many people here, like, and they're all A-listers?

I think

it was that day that Tom Cruise was there.

I think Affleck, there was a Super Bowl where there was Affleck and

Damon and a few others, but the Tom Cruise thing was really, really nuts.

It was, um, I mean, he's not, everyone was showing off in front of him.

Corolla has this touchdown dance.

It's now since been replicated, but he does a thing where he's pretending to read a newspaper and then drops a football from his anus.

And so

we've kind of seen it, but I swear to you, Corolla brought that into

the site guide like 25 years ago.

And he auditioned this for Tom Cruise and his mother.

And I don't think they knew what the hell to do about it.

Wait, it was Tom Cruise's mom?

Tom brought his mom to the Super Bowl party?

She was there.

Yeah, Tom Cruise's mother was there.

Oh, man.

All right.

So I know you got to go in a minute.

So You Can't Lose Them All is out now.

Go buy the book.

Forward by Jimmy Kimmel.

That's not a name drop.

That's just who wrote the forward.

So give us this on the way out.

One tip that you give in the book that you didn't send to us, that we were never going to read.

And then one Super Bowl prop bet that you've already got, you know, circled.

Yeah.

The tip is don't hedge.

Hedgings for gardeners.

Hedgings for gardeners.

But I go through like four steps of what people, you know, like if you, if you're a homeless man, you find a ticket for $10,000 on the Chiefs to win the Super Bowl.

Like maybe collect enough cans so that you could hedge that way.

But otherwise, don't ever do it.

It's not worth it.

It's just another extra bet that you're going to lose.

Super Bowl prop uh kelcey first touchdown that guy's ridiculous i mean he has you go over seven and a half receptions he has eight with six minutes left in the second quarter so he's getting shovel pass bowling ball passes from the two-yard line i i like that at seven to one or 750.

i like that as well yeah that's good what about uh color gatorade do you lean one way or the other you know it's funny they don't have clear listed but uh or orange and red which used to be one color uh is now split into two because of the uniforms but i go clear.

People are showing mercy on their coaches lately, and they're pouring water

instead of the sticky stuff.

So if you can find clear, go for it.

I'm just going to wait till there's some rumor.

I feel like the Gatorade every year, come Monday or Tuesday of Super Bowl week, there's some rumor of some guy who knows some guy who's on the practice squad who's like, we always use this.

And then just go opposite of whatever that ends up being.

Something will always, like blue, I think purple last year ended up being even money.

It's like, how is purple even money?

It was a hot tip.

It makes no sense.

yeah right right oh no no that was the prince year though right the prince is a kobe and prince right or something no well oh yeah well i don't know why last year last year just beat happened like every i i had so many people hit me up be like hey heard purple purple purple i actually think we had something to do with it because we spread that rumor we got like enough dms from people and then i think we asked great

thrill than to to than to move the line on on nonsensical takes right it really is the greatest so watch the line bounce for clear yes we'll keep an eye on that yes um all right well Cousin Sal, this has been a thrill, man.

And now you have to come back on whenever we ask.

I would love to.

I enjoyed this a lot.

Thanks, fellas.

I appreciate it.

All right.

Thanks, man.

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And now for something completely different.

Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest, former MLB player, manager, World Series champion.

It is Ozzy Guillain.

You can go listen to Ozzy

on the La Vita Baseball podcast, being Geon on La Vida Baseball Podcast.

Now, Ozzy, we're going to talk a little baseball, but we got to really get down to why we have you on.

Our intern, Billy Football, is sitting in the middle of us right now, is fighting Jose Conseco on Friday night.

You tweeted at us multiple times saying if Billy wants to beat Jose, we better have you on so that you can help us.

So is this real help?

Are you Team Jose or are you team Billy?

Well, either way, you know, my good friend Jose, First of all, I was teaching around, but I know how you can beat them.

You know what I mean?

You have to move around.

You cannot fight with him toe to toes because you might get killed.

But you move around, you're going to have a better chance.

And obviously, when you see Jose personal,

he will intimidate you.

He's just the type of guy who will intimidate you.

But I see Jose

over YouTube and a couple of videos about fighting over the seas and all the stuff.

He's just a hammer.

You know,

I don't think he knows how to fight, but

he don't know how to survive.

Yeah, I like that.

He's a fighter, not a boxer.

Well, Billy's in really good shape right now.

Have you ever seen it?

You better be in good shape because I know, you know what I mean?

Not because what you post on Instagram or whatever is trying to intimidate you or whatever,

but

I then mentally, he had to be prepared to know exactly what he want to do.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Jose, he's just go for one thing.

I know he just said that.

He said that.

I got to knock him down and I got to not the next round of be Alex Rodriguez.

That means he goes for the big one, for the big punch.

I think you move around, you know what to do.

Just make him run around you because he won't try to hit the target.

I think

you can come up with a lot of success.

You know, Jose.

Believe me, Jose is a guy when he puts his mind in something.

I see a lot of of his,

I don't say movies, a lot of stuff, life.

Now, this guy is always going to be the best in anything he does.

Obviously,

98%

fail.

Good percent when he plays baseball.

He did is what he's supposed to be doing.

To me, one of the time, Jose was one of the best players in the game.

I went to a couple.

all-star game with him and I see people walk to the ballpark just to see him and that's why I was there.

But after that, fighting

you got to grow with that, you got to grow with you're not going to fight just because make money or big, make famous.

And you move like Maywet

and you stay away from like Muhammad Lee, I think you had a good chance to beat my man.

It's whoever I say, I will take the winner, I will pick the winner, and just to see Hossey's reaction.

Hossey is just so

stupid about winning.

I could tell

he asked me, like, like

say when and where

i said like okay this is not a golf game can you give me a couple stroke and what it win

if jose cansego go down at least 100 pound i beat him i will i will fight him with one hand but obviously i'm 57 years old man i'm i'm not gonna say out of shape

so i grew up i grew up in the street jose not grew up in the street yeah i grew up in the street in garacas.

I know how to survive.

Jose just want to throw punch and hopefully can hit you and knock your ass out.

Oh, so you're saying that Billy might have the mental toughness to beat Jose?

I think so.

I think so.

You know, when you say yes, I will stand up in the ring with you.

And I don't care what you do.

And all of a sudden, Jose replied, like, the bad man will beat you.

That's to...

play with you mentally like oh my god because you see house he sighs and when you next went you might like wow but in the meanwhile,

piss him off, bro.

Yeah, I will.

No.

Piss him up.

When you talk to him, you'll

have to kiss.

And he will be upset.

If I take the drugs out and fight with you, you don't really want to kill you.

No, my question is,

you say you know, Jose.

How the hell did Jose, you know, lose all his money?

Like, he doesn't drink.

He doesn't use drugs.

He's apparently.

So, like, how did he lose all his money?

That's the real question.

Miami, brother.

Miami.

Miami life.

Yeah, it's Miami.

He's so Miami.

He's soft.

You know what?

Be honest with you.

I played with Jose

a few years.

I played with him in Tampa.

And I kind of follow him a little bit around.

Josie is a very smart man.

It might hang around with the wrong people.

I don't want to talk about wrong people about...

mentally not telling wrong people about what they did in the street.

I don't care.

But Jose is just pretty one of the smartest players I played with.

And by the way, Jose is not a fighter, man.

Right.

So how would he get in his head?

Jose is not a fighter.

I see Percival.

I see Percival drill him, drill him.

And half of the team was in the middle of the field when we turned around.

Jose is tuning the dog out.

Jose is not a fighter.

I think

Jose just wanted you to show him respect.

and love when he was playing.

I don't know now.

I didn't see Jose in a little while.

Would you

consider would you consider him to be a bully?

Like a guy who when you stand up to him he'll back down a little bit i'm pretty sure yes yeah you know i mean i'm i'm 5'11 but when you stand up to him and say you know what i need not for sure is right he will back up yeah you know i mean he's a guy saying you know i'm right i he go forward but when it's not right at least 55 it will like uh oh let me see what i did what i did wrong what what i did and you start thinking about it then i come up with another another another way but uh

it's very interesting.

It's going to be interesting.

I will sit down.

And

I've been drinking, what, besides my birthday?

And I told my wife, I got to give permission.

Two bucks smoke in my house to get some cigars and enjoy because it's going to be awesome.

It's going to be so awesome.

I wish I can be in the real side just to talk shit around and watch it.

I want to fuck him up.

No, seriously.

Like, all things considered, I'm going in there.

I've been training for the past.

I've done all the hard work.

I've done all the hard work.

I remember you tweeting at me on a Friday night being like, I hope you're not drinking beer or anything.

I've been, you know, like going, turn my body into an absolute weapon for the past month and a half.

So I'm ready.

By the way, I think the hoss is just lifting weight.

Yeah.

He's always going to be stronger.

Yeah.

And show you, you know, how big he is.

I will destroy you.

Yeah.

But the box is not about.

yeah boxing is not about how big how strong i am how hit i can hot i can hit looking best boxer ever mayweather tiny you know this kid is like what 110 pounds yeah they don't let people hit him and he's making all the money like very smart uh boxer that's why i think when you get in the ring it's not how strong you can be it's how smart you can be and that happened to one of the best heavy punches in in in in in boxing is you know me might tyson Mike Tyson, just get there, make sure you knock the ass down, but you start boxing with him.

You don't know what to do.

You just want to, and I think hose, you got the same mentality.

Yeah.

What should Billy visualize?

Like, if you were going to go into a boxing match, who would you visualize?

Would you visualize, like, hey, I'm going to go beat up Joe West?

Or

like, who would get you angry?

Should Billy do something like that?

Get that anger going up?

Who's the guy that you would do that with?

I'm boxing Joe West.

I should be ashamed but you know me that's that the only way joe is gonna beat me is just eating me or something

you can't knock joe west out though that neck you like

mexican i iron a piece of mexican tackle

but i think you know me be honest with you one year i have a little problem with the media here in chicago one guy mike north you're gonna say mike north no mic north can hold my jobs

mariotti you're not yes

talking about jerry mariati Yeah, well, he had a beef with Mike North, too.

Now, be careful.

Jay is our senior Icelandic.

No, my North, my North is my body.

Mike North when I curse him out

in his own show.

Our lady show up in Rigley Field, like, hey, man, you know, he thought it was funny.

To me, it wasn't.

Yeah.

After that, we got friends, you know, we pissed off and got out.

But Jay,

he went after me so bad, like, wait a minute, what did I ever do to you?

And he says stuff about me.

I get to the point in the the media, like, wait a minute, Marianne is never here in the clubhouse.

Why take all that information?

And I told him, I said, you write what you read.

And I said, you know what?

If the topic was personal with Jay and me,

that was easy.

I said, let's go to United Center for three rounds.

You pick

to put the money in.

Whoever wins,

you give the money to charity.

You know what?

It's still on.

Okay.

I don't want to do that.

I'm not going to do charity in Chicago.

I know my that's a guy will pick to fight.

Even I don't know what it is.

We'll host it.

We'll host it.

We'll host it on Rough and Reddy.

I mean, Jay Mariotti is a world-class douchebag, so we will absolutely host it.

We will pump you up.

You'll be our champion.

Oh, but you know, it's funny because I know a lot of guys in Chicago, including,

I know, I know, I know

a lot of media and a lot of big

sport people are going to be on it watching it.

I know Michael Joda will be on it watching it.

I know a lot of people play in Chicago will be be on it watching it, and I know they'll be rooting for me.

Yeah,

all the stuff it did.

But in the meanwhile, that's the only guy I really

because I think it was like I think a little personal.

Because when you're a manager of baseball or you're in the sport, you whatever

figure,

a media figure,

nobody can say a nice stuff about you all the time.

But he was saying stuff, like a very personal stuff.

One day, this idiot saying,

Asie Guillen was hitting on my wife

before he got married.

And I say, you know, right nowadays, I will assume him.

I said, first of all, I was married when I was in double A.

I was 16 when I got married.

I make it to the big league when I was 20.

If that may say, Ozzy was hitting on my wife,

I don't know, maybe, maybe not, because a human being, Pop, when he said, before he made it to a big league, he know it was lying.

And I don't think Jay Mariati's wife is better looking than my wife to be hitting on her.

I like that.

Yeah.

You're correct.

Yes.

You are absolutely right.

I mean, have you seen Jay Mariotti?

I don't think that he's

not exactly pulling in being a class.

Everybody sees my wife.

And I think, personally, when people say, man, your wife still hot to me is a compliment.

I'm not going to be upset.

I said, that lady is a grandma and still hot as a girl.

You know why?

Because, hey, it's an ass again, man.

I'm older, but I still look okay.

And she knows it's a lot of, you know, a lot of good purpose.

You know what I mean?

That's why I have to fight somebody just for sure.

I don't hate anyone.

For surety, I will put Marati

in the ring.

He's just beat the shit out of me.

I would pay for that fight.

I would.

I want to see that fight so bad.

That would be fantastic.

So, Ozzy, when I'm at the weigh-in and I'm going face to face with Jose, what should I do in your in your opinion?

Just go there and look in his face.

And he won't look at you like he wants to eat you and say, you know what, buddy?

I'm not a Cuban coffee.

I'm here to beat you.

Ozzy, how should we look at Jose to determine whether or not it's actually him and not his twin, Ozzie?

Because he's had his twin Ozzie step in for him at the last minute to box in years past.

So we want to make sure this is actually Jose.

How can we tell for sure that it's him?

Ozzy's smaller than Jose.

way smaller, way smaller, and a little bit smaller than Jose.

Okay.

Because he always living in As is behind, you know, me.

It's always Azbad, like, you know, everywhere they go together.

But you can see, I think, I think Azi's gonna have more hair.

Okay.

More hair than Jose.

You know, me.

And Jose is way more bigger than.

And you can see the wrinkles.

Make sure you see wrinkles.

Okay.

We'll do a wrinkle check.

Yeah,

make sure you, you know, me.

I say, you know what, Ozzy wants those wrinkles.

I got to fix it.

Oh, so you know what I should do to talk trash?

I should be like, is this Ozzy?

Because you look tiny.

Yeah.

Yeah, Ozzy looks smaller.

Yeah, so like, oh, are you Ozzy?

It's tiny.

It's good.

It was funny because I do love them.

It's funny because Ozzy was my son hitting coach.

Oh.

Someone in the leagues and I hear Ozzy talk about, and he was teaching everybody to hit the same way and i put all my so i told my kids ozzy i said ozone

he can't be teaching the same way to everyone i said why because one guy is a punching jury one guy is 5'11 110 pounds the another guy is 6'8

with 350 pound home run hitter and he teach everybody like that like it was him hitting

the inside i said like oh my god I wonder why my kids were hitting 120.

Wait, so here's the only problem though, Ozzy, is that I'm worried that you are too good of friends with Jose.

So you're giving us advice that might be going, that might backfire.

How can we?

Are you rooting for Billy?

I need you to say you're rooting for Billy.

Oh, yes.

Okay.

Because Jose invited me to fight.

Okay.

He didn't invite me to fight.

All right.

And you know what's funny?

I always, a lot of people take it.

I always take it

on the radar guy.

I like that.

Because when you're famous,

everybody is going to see

the fight just to see Hossey be the shadow you or be.

That's that for sure.

You know, you're not that type of guy, like be posting stuff.

And

listen, this is the way I work out.

And I work all this.

This is my trainer.

That's what he's trying to.

Maybe he's trying to know about boxing, but you feel like a oh my god, it's like 190 years old guy trying to tell him how to fight.

You cannot learn how to fight in one week.

You might know how to kill people boxing, punching it in two days, but

the summit throws a few punches, just walk around with him.

Just walk around and listen and listen to

the corner.

So, Ozzy, can we get you back in baseball?

Are you going to manage ever again?

I wish.

You know what I mean?

All the time, I see so many crazy things happening in the last couple of years with the game.

It's kind of shock,

kind of embarrassing, kind of sad situation.

Now I'm working on on TV.

I do a lot of podcasts with Bing Giddy.

I have fun.

I have fun doing it because the podcast, having me in the podcast,

people think I always got to be right.

And my kids, he's the first one to step out of my throes and tell me, shut up, you're wrong.

And it's an argument between the same thing with the same show we have on the air is the same show we have up there.

Yeah.

When we're eating, when we're watching TV.

when I take care of Dela and Lil also, you know what I mean?

It's just the same conversation.

We make the show, which is a conversation show.

We don't have anything to topic.

As a junior, come up and topic something and say, let's talk about this.

When I see the topics and all the songs, we have something left, we should talk about it.

Obviously, when some topic is good friends of mine, we have to talk about it.

I do talk about it.

The long and a lion, the long is a fact.

I really go into it.

Same way

with the White Sox NBC Sport.

A lot of people, when they work for some company, you have to be careful what you say, when you say it how you say it and to me i just got to be the long and honest and fact

that's only care i know i don't care about you know uh breaking break breaking news i'm not into that i just say when they ask me a question we will ask it that's my job but uh i wish uh we knew i want to be managing again yes i do i do i do want to be managing again

it's not that what don't you like you you just mentioned that you know the way the game has shifted what what don't you like about today's game in baseball what is uh you know if you were managing again what would you change versus how it's going right now well you know me i i i'm 57 years old i've got more experience now with watching games on tv than when i was a kid managing a team player change people in the front office change a lot uh one thing about it patent to me baseball had to be equal thinking You got to put everything in the balance together.

It can be one stronger than another.

another.

And both ones have to sit down together and say, listen, you know what?

I think about this and you think about this.

Okay, let's put it this together.

Then grow up as an organization.

Not grow up is a baseball, a big lead team.

Just not think about big lead team.

You talk about all organizations to put it together with the numbers and

all the computer stuff.

with the mentality about God feeling, know the players, know the background.

It's so many different things.

Because people, when they work upstairs they don't know anything about downstairs they gotta fit the people downstairs talk to them about somebody a player but they don't know really those guys and they only know is the numbers and this and that and they always pick a superstar we're gonna pitch like verlander

uh okay not too many people like like like the best pitch in the game we gotta hit like trout

i said not too many people can do what they do and when they follow them i think everybody have his own style, his own way, his own mentality, get the best player, give the player the best opportunity to have success.

That's what the manager does.

Leader, to me,

leader is the guy, he helps everyone,

everyone

to be good,

to compete.

That's a leader.

Leader is not the guy that says, I will do it my way.

This should be their way.

It's going to be all way or no way.

And I think leadership is when everybody surround

work together and and and and work for the same space when you're a leader you want everybody to be

you know saying about okay i'm the leader because i got the money i'm the leader because i got the stats i'm the leader because i have the brains no i think leaders is one guy got all the stuff and put it together and work together just to me leadership in in baseball is like the like the united states president you can be the best president but the people around you

don't do it together with you.

You're going to be the worst president in the country.

Same way it's a leadership.

Leadership, you just try to put everything together.

And nowadays, it's kind of hard because they told you what to say, what to do, when to do.

And because society changed, everything changed.

And

everything changed.

It changed for good, change for bad.

I don't know.

but it changed.

What if,

yeah.

What if Ozzie Geehan was made commissioner of baseball?

We like to ask all of our baseball guests this, is there like one change that you would make to the sport?

I'll go back to normal.

I love the

camera thing, go by the

good calls.

I do love that.

Yeah.

I hate

the guy going to face three guys.

Hate it.

Because you don't know the manager is good or bad.

Good managing is

the matchups.

Let me, you know, okay, I got to gamble up with this.

I got to gamble with that.

I got to make this move.

And I don't like that.

That three, three batters, rules.

I don't like it.

I wasn't the guy.

I'm not playing.

I'm not in the game anymore.

I wish they can, you know, me put all the stuff

in the playoff.

I will see a lot of more things in the playoffs.

I know it's not good for the game, good for the team, but it's good for the baseball.

Grow the game, yeah.

In general, because people just want to be in the playoff, like NFL, uh, NNBA, you know, NBA, you know, wouldn't be the champ.

But at least everybody got a chance to be there.

That's one thing about it.

The DH today they come up with the DH.

I think baseball is more fun with DH.

And we forgot the last couple of guys who went to Hall of Fame.

There was DHing, Frank, Harold,

Martinez.

And I mean, DH is another,

another.

to me it's another position.

Before it was like, okay, the guy run the less, he got more power.

He do this now dh is to me is is

is the position

you got

to somebody need a day off or a couple of day off you continue to have this guy in you lineup but to rest

you don't need to be the big puppy da the front tomorrow da hero ben day just dh and then now dh is a formula to get one more guy in the in the roster and give you team opportunity to rest a little bit more than the past.

So

one of your favorite, one of my favorite Ozzy lines that you would tell your team is play hard, drink hard, have sex hard.

Do you think that plays today if you were a manager?

That's the stuff that like we need Ozzy Gee and the baseball back in baseball because I agree that you see a lot of managers now, they do whatever the front office says and that everything's scripted.

You are like a gut, go with your gut kind of guy.

We need that back in baseball.

Well, it's a fair, yes.

I don't know.

It's the front office.

They think the same way.

It's always say you play hard, you drink hard, and you accept hard, and you two out of three, and you hit him 500, brother, or 750.

Yeah, nobody says he's 750.

Yeah, why?

Because nowadays,

I don't see players play that hard.

People say, wow, my God, this guy hustle.

No, it's not hustle.

He played the game right.

Second ball, players don't drink anymore because all the stuff media,

cell phones, wife, you know, they must sit together and have a a couple of drinks.

Yeah, you know,

yeah, my wife is going to be upset before.

I remember, I remember in my mind, I said, you say names.

Tony LaRusa, when I was a kid, close the door, everybody stay here, everybody have a drink and talk about the game.

We know, Tony, yeah, yeah.

Yes, yeah.

Okay, I say that it's a fact.

I don't say that is a breaking news.

No,

I grew up in that situation growing with G.

Leland.

Like, hey, let's go have a beer.

I'm 21 years old.

I never drink in my life.

Oh, God.

Oh, you know what I'm going to drink?

Just stay here and listen to the big boys, to the Cardinal Fields, the Don Siever, the Harold Baines, Richard Dawson, all the big boys talking about Facebook.

We lose a game like that.

Nowadays, when I was managing, I got the rules.

One day I got upset.

I said, when I go to talk to the media,

nobody can leave the cloud till I come back.

And I told the security people, I said, why?

Because I'm going to talk to the media.

We come back, everybody, nobody's in the clouds.

I said, wait a minute.

We just lost a game with nobody talking about it.

You know why because nowadays wife waiting for the uh for the husband now the kids got to go to school we got to hurry up and they don't have a chance opportunity to talk about the game they talk about something out talk about immediately oh you see what this guy posts or you see what this guy says yeah or look at the guy flip the bat they're not talking about the the real game how to to now they don't watch a game on tv and again they go there behind and look in the videos and waste time in the video they're just like, hey, how'd that guy get you out?

Then nobody talk about it like they used to.

And by the way, nowadays, I look at it, you know, see leaders.

Or leader is the guy you tweet the most,

send more pictures in Instagram and be better with the media.

My leader, they will kick your fucking ass.

My leader, Tom Siever, he grabbed me by, he told me, rest in peace, my man, because I do something stupid on the field.

Jermaine died went after my shield stop because he was doing something wrong on the field.

All those guys, a real leader, like we don't play this game like this, now they know one and they know there's no big way to find.

You know, you see one of your teammates mad at you because you're not wrong hard.

Oh, you don't like me.

Oh, my God.

I hate him.

Oh, you know, you know, like me because I'm Latino.

I'm African-American.

I'm white.

You know what I mean?

Before, brother, the match, you don't have to say anything because the players will take care of that.

And that's a real leadership.

When you, you know, me, I was a leader in my team and I was hitting 120, 220, 250.

I was leading when Fran Thomas was on and Tin Ray was on it, Robin Mentura.

Carton Fest, those guys,

I was black jacket.

I was the leader of the team because you know why?

Because I care about everyone.

with that uniform.

I don't care about the guy hitting 440.

You know what I mean?

Front to me was the same one.

It was

noberto you know i i will care about everyone treat everybody the same way and that's what we're missing in the game

where do you see that's why when i make the comment about i'm i was glad that tony russa

went to back managing the white socks people was over me oh my god aussie you know i know a lot of people want me to be the manager for them this year but when they hired tony i was like oh my god

good

because i think it's tony i don't think tony will be the same guys it was in 1995.

I don't expect that too.

But I think Tony had to bring the White Sox, what White Sox need on the clubhouse, on the field.

I don't care what they do off the field, but or offstairs.

But I think Tony's the guy.

If those guys listen to Tony LaRusa and go after the way Tony go or prepare you to win, I think this ball club is going to have a lot of success.

So I'm a Cubs fan, and I know that you were lying when you talked about the Rats at Wrigley.

Have you been to the new Wrigley?

Have you seen, do you, what do you what's your take on wriggley now after all the renovations

beautiful oh my god by the way what's the guy's name yeah ricket rickets rickety rickets i met it i'm doing uh i'm doing the post freaking show outside the wriggle

do you have to say oh a lot yeah i've seen i don't seen it inside anymore because i don't like to involve people when they're working i go to the field maybe one time a couple times and mr rickett when i was walking in he said aussie look how much money you made me spend i'm like what

I said, yeah, you're talking so much shit about this ballpark.

I said, listen, sir, I never say anything about buying Wrigley Field outside Wrigley Field because Wrigley Field to me is a monument.

You come to Chicago, you don't see Wrigley Field, you don't see shit.

You like go to

New York, look at the Status of Liberty.

Okay?

But the best around, outside right now, and the past was Rigley Field.

Ridley Field could go was a party.

Awesome.

It was the greatest

place to be.

But as soon as you walk to the clubhouse or walk to the field,

it wasn't very bad.

And the rats, it's a fact, guys.

Azigeno come out with this.

Sammy Sosa and the

coach,

Polki, I don't remember his name right now.

Polky come on, stop me and say, hey, you want to hit?

I said, yeah.

Oh my God, the rats

in the cage is so big.

I said, I never visited the outfield never went to the outfield in my life just because i hate rats and i hate rats little anything move like that i'd rather see a tiger or a guy with a gun than see a little rat so you never saw a rat you just heard about rats and then decided to to say that wrigley had a rat problem

Oh, well, when did they renew the ballpark?

It was right all over Chicago.

Well, I mean, there's rats always all over Chicago.

All the other people.

No, no, but no.

Hey, I lived in downtown all my life.

And now I live in the suburb.

I didn't see a rat in the last seven months.

When in Chicago, they live with me.

They walk around.

I just turn my car around to say, okay, let's kill Ozzy.

But in that time, it was more, in that area, it was more because when they renew the ten bad rocket really fields, it's outstanding, man.

I love it.

I love to go there.

It's a fan.

I don't love to go there.

It's a work.

Yeah.

Ozzy, last question for me.

I was just wondering, on that same vein, does Jose have any phobias like rats, snakes?

Good question.

Any animals he's scared of?

i was gonna ask this before you know why jose is scared to it what

inside pitch and curb

okay yeah okay so we got him in the children

and yeah commitment alamo telling the truth mostly uh yeah family dogs yeah and trying and giving a hundred percent without aid of steroids child support judges all those things scare him You know, that's what I say.

You know what I mean?

I think Jose is so smart because I have the opportunity to talk to Jose a lot.

I don't know how that many making so many mistakes in his life.

I think there's a chance he might not be as smart as you think he is.

Maybe I'm the dumb one.

Yeah, wait, hey, well, one

funny because

that's just talking about family in the club and stuff.

One day, her baby, his baby, what's her name?

She's beautiful.

I think she's a mother right now.

Josie.

Yeah, Josie.

He follows her.

Okay, his wife.

beautiful woman.

She always hangs around with beautiful women and stuff.

And one day we coming out, just play with my kids, and her show her panties

by mistake.

No, like, Ozzy, you there?

Here we go.

She never basically instincted me.

She never did.

I wish she did, but she never did.

She never basically, if I mistake, she, I don't know like, oh God, what happened here?

She, I think she want to pick Jesse, pick it up, and she got a short dress, summer dress, and I look at it.

I went to the clubhouse and and I started making fun of Jose.

I said, Hosey,

pink polka dolls.

And what are you talking about?

Oh, pink polka dolls.

Nothing.

I know I said that.

Next day, I said, you see the pink polka doll like I did yesterday?

They go, what are you talking about?

I said, well, your wife, by mistake, she was playing with the baby.

I saw her hand.

And

he wanted to kill me.

I said, I will kick your ass.

I said, that's easy to kick my ass, but I just told you what I just saw.

By no mistake, by not, you know, me be

stupid or wow, you know what I mean?

But I just want to head

him going.

And not because I just saw that.

I just want him to be mad at me.

And he did.

But, you know what I mean?

You know what?

I'm going to take that, guys.

I thought Jose was very smart.

I think

I am the dumb one.

Yeah.

No, you're smart.

That's a good one.

Hey, do you still, last last question for me?

Do you still hate Nick Swisher?

I love that feud.

I never hate Nick Swisher as a human being or as a guy.

I did it.

I hate him as a player.

Yes.

Okay, that counts.

Yeah.

No, no, I never say, you know what I mean?

I hate him as a person.

I hate him as a player.

Yes, because you do so many things in your team.

We never see that before.

And that's not coming from me.

That coming from a lot of guys

in the clubhouse.

Even the general manager of the field, this kid on the field was horrible.

Golly, what a, you know what I mean.

But off the field, great guy.

He got his own life.

He don't care about anyone.

He just only care about Nick.

But when I make that comment, it's just because I care about Nick, what Nick did on the field.

But on the field, I don't know, you know me, you do whatever you want to do on the field.

I think on the field, this kid was great.

He was a good friend of my son, Ozzy.

I think he was married or dating somebody

in that particular time.

Ozzy spent a lot of time in his house.

You know, I know when Ozzy Junior spends in somebody's house, you know, you drunk then stay.

The next day you hung over.

I guarantee you that.

But

no,

it's a person I like him.

He's a person I don't really involve me.

But it's a player.

when he played for the white stocks i don't care when he played for cleveland new york oakland whatever you play

they might have better hopefully they have better view than me nick switchers as a baseball player yeah anyway we make a mistake man nick switcher went to new york batting nine i got him batting first what a stupid manager

what an idiot i said you bought in nine you when you was in auckland you bought in eight all of a sudden you go to the white socks you are a leader beater you're nick switcher you see seven piece but you strike out 190 times

i don't think i'm gonna blame him now i look deeply myself like well i was an idiot

what a stupid manager you have when those guys

says batting eight batting nine now you come to the white shop you bought him first that's why i got fired yeah

well ozzy this has been awesome man play hard drink hard have sex hard we're gonna billy's gonna do it on on friday night rough and rowdy i i do want to point out though that billy hasn't been drinking or having sex so so should he

play hard?

She's going to fight hard.

Should Billy fuck on Thursday night?

No.

Yeah.

After work, yes.

Celebrate him.

Okay.

All right, Billy.

After the fight,

medically, we have to get you late on Thursday.

No, no, no, no.

He's an hour.

After the fight, after the fight.

Hold on, hold on.

Will you marry Billy?

No.

Yeah, no.

No, he's not.

He's married to the game.

He's married to the game.

He's married to the fight game.

Okay, well, you know, Mary, you do whatever you want, but after the fight, it's too tense to celebrate, man.

Play hard, drink hard, and have

honestly honestly i'm probably gonna just play video no you're gonna have no sex no he's gonna have sex no

yeah i wish i had that shirt i make a t-shirt let's do a t-shirt let's make a t-shirt

i don't think i know how to with me right now i make a t-shirt with my we call them the guyo rule the rooster rules

nowadays nowadays if you wear that in the clubhouse You'll get fired.

Love it.

Love it.

Well, yeah, maybe we can do the Gaio guy.

The Gaio guys shirts.

The rooster rooster guys yes work hard wait no no

play hard play hard drink hard

and have sex hard yes okay hey uh you know me and through my career i'm the only one

play hard the rest of that i feel sorry for my wife

all right

thank you so much man we really appreciate it it's great talking to you thanks for the invitation

tune in friday night Excuse me, I turn in.

We have a date.

Yes.

We watch a date like we had a family reunion we're going to be

we're going to watch every fight everyone

every fight everyone we're going to watch it and uh as you may have where we're going to watch it say my house it's nicer and you know the kids can go sleep there but i i not miss that by the way you can talk a month about the fight if you guys want to you know i mean because i i think you're going to be great i think we need more of this yes yes more fighting we need more of that if you know like me okay you know what We should do this.

Entertainment, yes.

Let's do it.

I think we need more than that.

And I think this is a great idea.

Hopefully people copy from this idea.

And

hopefully you'll be Jose because I will pick the winner.

Okay.

Perfect.

I love it.

Ozzy.

Thank you so much.

You're a legend.

Thanks, Ozzy.

Appreciate it.

Thank you so much, guys.

All right.

See ya.

Okay, let's wrap up with guys on chicks.

By the way, we got what Jeff Bezos is going to be doing post-Amazon life.

Lenny Dykster just tweeted him.

Jeff Bezos, now that you're stepping down as head of Amazon, let's meet up and discuss a potential joint venture you and I can do together.

So there it is.

I love that.

That sounds like that will be.

Two days shipping on sex dolls.

Yeah, that's going to be...

Listen, you get those two minds in a room.

We're really going to limit.

We've been talking about going to the moon a lot.

The sky is the limit.

Yeah.

Hank.

Guys on chicks.

I mean, it's very clear that this is just an extension of his midlife crisis, right?

Probably.

He just got divorced and he's like, you know what?

I'm going to get

Being a CEO is taking time away from all the poon slang I could be doing.

And dinosaur bones I'm buying.

Yeah.

Hey, PMT boys, especially Sigbat and TFP.

Oh, damn.

I don't know why they wrote it like that.

My boyfriend seems to be obsessed with my belly button.

He claims it's a joke, but I think there's a good chance he's serious.

He calls it his honey hole.

He constantly reaches to put his finger in it and sometimes will beg for lint.

On romantic nights I'll put on lingerie and he still goes straight for my belly button.

So do guys joke about that kind of stuff or am I dating a maniac?

Well I know Brett Favre did that to Deanna all the time but that was for just for like convenience purposes and how things fit together.

My honey hole.

Oh my god.

It's kind of weird.

Isn't the belly button like a sacred place in certain spiritualities?

Sure.

Might be making

is that where your chi is?

Yeah.

Dude, I don't know about it.

I do have a lot of lint in mine, deepest belly button in the world.

Actually, John Cena tried to fuck mine, so it can happen.

We also ask people to send if they have advice for Billy, you know, get to get their advice.

Oh, good, good.

This person says, I have some advice for Billy.

Head body, head body.

Yeah.

Yep.

Billy, who's going to be in that ring fighting?

Me.

Not you.

Not you.

Not you.

Not you.

Head body.

But all of us, Billy.

You have a nation behind you.

Dude, I have so many people coming out and saying we're going to be.

Yeah, we know.

You had a guest list of like 150.

Yeah, well, you know what?

A bunch of people wanted to come see me fight.

But we don't even have guests.

Biggen, I got a text on Monday morning.

I didn't know that.

Hey, guys, just wondering, Billy seems to be under the impression that he's bringing 40 people with him.

Yes.

Did you guys tell him to do that?

And then it went, and then I got another text the next day that said Billy invited his entire football team.

There's 100 people he wants to do.

Dude, okay, look, I'm really bad for no to people.

Yes.

Yeah, we can tell.

I'm serious.

Like, no, the thing is, people reach out and be like, yo, dude, like, I can't, like, you know, there's no, it's no, there's no

tickets.

It's so hard to say no to people.

Tell them it's a pandemic.

It's like the easiest excuse.

I don't know what a ticket is.

Well, I did, that's what I did.

world there's never been an easier out but it's still hard pandemic no but like think about it like every i've yeah no i'm thinking about it but once once i said well i was trying to like you know in negotiation you shoot high and then you see how many people you can end up taking uh-huh so that's i let's role play real quick hey what's up billy this is um this is lance we uh we're together lance and troy um hey can we get 40 tickets for the fight we just want to be there to support you yeah we want to rage

sorry it's a pandemic you cannot come oh you oh you pussy You think coronavirus is real?

You've changed.

Lib.

Old Billy would have done.

Okay, you guys.

Billy, we were boys.

All right, thanks.

Remember when you drank at my dad's house?

That's cool.

And we also have 50 more guys that we want to bring.

We got to get us plus 50s.

No, I

and our guns.

Make sure there's room for our guns.

Billy can't say no to a person bringing a gun with him on the suit.

All right.

You guys try fighting, saying no to people who are supporting you.

You should be focused on the fight, Billy.

I have Billy.

This is like this.

No, it's actually actually very Super Bowl week.

It's Super Bowl week.

Yeah, it's fine.

Outsource all those

questions.

To who?

Hank.

Jake.

Well, I try.

Yeah?

Never mind.

Yeah.

I'm focused on the fight.

Just be like Jake.

Jake's taking care of all that stuff for me.

No, it sounded like you were about to throw some shade.

I wasn't going to throw some shade.

All right.

Hey, PFT and Big Cat.

Happy Belated, by the way.

I was wondering if something my boyfriend does is normal slash how I get him to stop.

He is obsessed with peeing in empty water bottles around his room.

I feel like every time I go to the bottom, there's nothing wrong with that.

He has a new set of pee bottles, one to three at a time.

He says it's because he never knows when he needs clean pee to get drug tested.

Yep.

I don't think he's even being drug tested.

He's also constantly smoking weed with his friends, so it's never clean pee.

Despite the pee, he's a very organized and relatively well-kept guy.

Is this normal?

Do guys just pee in bottles for fun, or is he just fucking weird?

Also, how do I get him to stop?

This guy definitely thinks that if he just like lets he thinks that if he pees in a bottle and leaves it for a month, then it will be it evaporates.

Yeah, it'll be good.

The weed will like you won't test positive.

Yeah, we get well we get 36 in 30 days.

Yes.

So out of the pee bottle.

If you leave it in the sun for 30 days, it actually turns into vinegar.

Oh man, I like this.

Nothing's wrong.

Nothing's wrong with this dude.

You're the one who's wrong.

Yeah, it sounds like he's a pretty normal guy.

He definitely thinks that, but normalized piss justice.

He definitely is.

Yeah, he's dating them like wine bottles, and he's like, ooh, this is my April batch of piss.

You could also just get like some houseplants and put them in the corner.

I bet he'd be more likely to pee into those.

Uh-huh.

Or whatever happened to just putting something fun in the toilet to aim at.

Yeah.

You know?

Cheerios.

Yeah, rubber ducky.

Well, the worst is the urinals that have the X and that pops back up.

What?

The B.

You aim at the B.

The urinals, they have the X, like the little, like the screw.

Yeah.

And so you aim for that, but it just pops it right back up.

So, you guys know what I'm talking about?

No, you aim at the B, the B emote.

All your animals should have ice in it.

That's all.

Yep, the ice trough is the goat.

Billy needs to not get hit in the face while also hitting Roy Boy in the face.

Okay, that's actually really good.

Connor McGregor didn't follow that rule.

I know.

I've been working on that.

Okay, he's got a small face, though, doesn't he?

Compared to his body?

He's actually got a pretty big target head to hit.

Billy, what's it tapering off here?

Are you still sparring?

Oh, no, no.

My last sparring session was on Saturday.

Okay, good.

Because I just had to point that out.

Because there definitely was a world that you would like spar on Thursday.

Well, that was one that you needed to bring your sparring partner.

You said that at one point.

You're like, I got to get my sparring partner down there so I can spar before the fight.

No, no, no.

But that was to warm up.

You said that to me.

No, that was to warm up.

Because it's a three-minute fight.

It's like, there's no time to get warm.

I was going to

be for he was going to, like, when you spar, you don't always get hit in the face.

Sometimes you're just working with the guy.

But that would be so you to come out already bleeding.

Yeah.

You know what you should do, Billy?

Just to like get your heart rate up and get your adrenaline going.

You should pay the guy with a gun to hunt you once you get to Washington.

Yeah.

And then just spend your entire day trying to avoid warm up.

Some people are very responsible with guns.

No, I bring them back.

Billy, I'm not kidding.

You tell him to hunt.

That's a terrible dude.

What?

No, there's good guys with guns.

Anyway, so yeah, I'm very proud.

I might just play video games all Friday because I just want this fight.

I wish it was like right now because I just want to get it over with.

Because I've done the hard part.

The waiting now is just aggravating.

What's this thing that you just sent us hang?

So there's two songs we're going to end with.

One.

Hey, Billy, don't zig when you should zag and vice versa.

And then this person texted us a tune.

I thought we could all try and sing it together.

Billy the King.

And then we'll have PFTIP's real song.

Okay, so I think I know the melody.

What is it?

There once was a man to fight Jose, and the name of the man was Billy No Way.

The rat shot juice.

His ball ball shrunk down.

He blew smoke on Twitter.

Soon may Billy the berserker

come.

He blew

a seashore soon may the berserker come to destroy Jose and internet scum.

Friday when the shriveled rats gone Billy take his money and go

soon may the berserker come to destroy Jose and internet scum Friday when the shriveled rat's done Billy will take his money and go dude I mean it should be soon may the billy man come exactly

Either way, this is a better song.

Ready?

Someone out there, EDM, remix it.

Love you guys.

Here's Billy's real numbers.

Before we play a song:

Elephants Have Religion.

Eight.

Pray love, baby.

Roll time.

99.

8, 8, 8.

95.

Elephants have belief systems.

Wow.

It's crazy.

All right, here it is.

The world premiere.

What was it?

In the style of Imagine Dragons.

Me and Roan singing Punched.

95.

Punched.

You're gonna get knocked up.

Billy's gonna eat your lunch.

He's gonna fucking break your cock out.

You're gonna get punched in the thunder.

Billy's fists are lightning and thunder.

We're gonna caught up in the storm and the thunder.

And the lightning and the thunder.

Billy's a badass piranha, cause he put all the work in.

You got stood up by Madonna because you act like a virgin.

And to put it quite simply, he's like OJ on the loose.

OJ's looking so pimply, he must be back on the juice.

Yeah, you're slowing and bloating, cause you're way overfed.

Yeah, you think you're an ocarin, you broke the bat with your head.

You're twin mighty named Ozzie and drugs ruin your life.

But no one's caring you, cuck, cause you're sharing your wife.

Cunch,

you're gonna get knocked the fuck out.

Billy's gonna eat your lunch.

He's gonna fucking rip your cock out.

You're gonna get punched.

You're gonna get knocked the fuck out.

Billy's gonna eat your your lunch.

He's gonna fucking break your cock out.

You're gonna get punched.

Bitch, the horse, you stitch, can't hit, pitch, you swing, and miss.

Your car wash fail, your life is no fun.

And that bomb bounce off your head for that one home run.

You're gonna get knocked the fuck out.

Billy's gonna eat your lunch.

He's gonna fucking break your cock out.

You're gonna get punched.

You're gonna get knocked the fucked out.

Billy's gonna eat your lunch.

He's gonna fucking risk your cock out.

You're gonna get punched.

It's part and my take presented by Barstool Sports.