Keegan Michael Key, Stocks With Brian Koppelman, And Fyre Fest Of The Week

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.

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On today's Pardon My Take, a twofer for the people, we have the very, very talented Keegan

Michael Key.

Talking about his new podcast about comedy, he breaks down what comedy actually, where

it came from, what makes us laugh. Yeah, he solved the ancient riddle of which came first like chicken and the egg the fart joke are they getting hit in the nuts joke it was the fart joke but he explains it spoiler well he explains it and it's very very funny he actually tells us addicted to spoiling episodes of what am i i mean it was very funny yeah when he told it so you gotta i mean sometimes you gotta give the people a little something to be like, oh, you think they're going to turn it off? You better not.
You think they're going to be like, oh shit, it was a fart joke? Yeah, the people that are, all the nut tap stands out there. No, it was a very good interview, very funny guy.
And then we have our good friend, Brian Koppel. I said that during it, Brian Koppelman.
I always do that where I say it in my head. Don't fuck it up.
Don't fuck it up.

And then I fuck it up.

Yeah.

It's like, don't come.

Don't come.

Yeah. And then you come in two seconds.
Brian Koppelman, creator of Billions. He actually had an episode that was essentially what happened today in Wall Street and Robin Hood and all that.
So we talked to him. He actually explains it to us very well.
Like, I love talking to a guy like that who is clearly smarter than us, but also not trying to bog us down with the nitty-gritty details. He talks to us like we're five.
The only thing I don't like is he will not baselessly speculate on things until he's read up about it. It's like, come on, man.
Former lawyer self. This is the podcasting space.
You need to make bold declarations that you're ignorant about. Yeah, so we have both those.
We have Fyre Fest gonna have a nice friday show uh taking you into the weekend taking you into super bowl week we already have a member of one of the super bowl teams ready to go for monday's show there's making a sandwich and then there's crafting a sandwich and when i want something perfectly crafted i go straight to boar's head for over a century Boar's Head has been dedicated to crafting premium deli favorites. Every ingredient is carefully chosen, every recipe made with a purpose.
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And then we'll take it higher. Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue.
It's Part of My Take presented by Barstool Sports. Welcome to Part of My Take presented by Cash App.
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Today is Fri-yay, January 29th. And this may be the last episode of Part of My Take ever because you are now listening to not one, myself, not two, PFT, not three, Liam, Bubba, not four, Jake, not five, Hank.
Not six, Billy. Six millionaires who have gotten rich off of Dogecoin, GameStop, and Amazon.
Or no, AMC and Nokia in the last 24 hours. Blackberry, dude.
We're going to retire. Don't forget about the trackball.
Blackberry makes you come back too. Goodbye, everyone.
We're so rich. If Hot Topic was a stock, if Pacific Sunware where i'm in on all the mall stocks we're fucking circuit city i know we're not a business there's got to be a way i can get in that i'm shorting robin hood though when they eventually go live i don't know what i would i do know what's happening but i also don't fully know what's happening because i'm not uh what you smart, but it has been a hilarious day and a half.
The little guys fighting back. The big fat cats on Wall Street are getting their comeuppance.
You know what they're doing? They're heading for the hills. They are.
We got them on the run. You know what we're doing? We're circling the wagons.
We're holding the line. Yeah.
I don't know. Yeah.
We're holding the line. The line of wagons.
Yes. We're holding it.
Billy, now millionaire Billy. Blockbuster, bro.
It was one cent when I talked about it last time. It is now seven cents.
What? I called it. You did.
You called it. Billy is a blockbuster millionaire.
I am long in Dogecoin, though. I've had a number of assets that have been parked in Dogecoin, excuse me, in the Doge space for a while now.
So after six months, I think I'm up like 700%. And the brilliant thing about that is it doesn't exist.
It's not a thing. But I put money into an account, and then now there's a guy that's like, hey, your money is worth 700% more now.
Yeah. Stock gambling kicks ass.
I don't think any of us actually made any real money off of these last 24 hours. But it's fun to speculate what it would be like if we had because that is just fun.
And I love the idea that we maybe have a couple future, maybe more than a couple, future millionaires based off GameStop or Dogecoin like this is what tickles my fancy well it's that we get the the idea we're gonna make the funniest class of millionaires ever Bitcoin to like Bitcoin Dogecoin GameStop AMC I need the quote-unquote trolls of the internet that's not what i'm calling them that's what the fat cats are calling of them to be the power players and shift the entire dynamic and like guess what's going to become legal again vaping uh we're also gonna mango jewel pods yeah find stonkers in those right uh jankos will be back fuck yeah i've been and hardy i've been holding the line on jencos for years now yes like i want all this shit to come back no it's awesome and it's really no different than if you look back like 100 years 150 years the oil boom you get a shitload of new money right these are the people in the titanic that were being looked down upon by the old money and guess what these the reddit millionaires are gonna be fucking hilarious they're they're going to be like jerry jones isn't he's a reddit millionaire excuse me reddit billionaire he just happened to be born like 70 years before reddit was invented yeah think about it this way like rockefeller john rockefeller well guess what a new rockefeller was born today and his name's troy and he lives in south tampa hell yeah fuck yes let's go i love how um ja rule is Rule's getting involved in this too. Yeah, no.
Ja Rule was mad today. He smelled a scam.
Ja Rule was like, yo, this is a fucking crime what Robin Hood is doing. Do not sell.
Hold the line. What the fuck? Ja Rule.
And it's become like a Chappelle sketch brought to life. I saw this one dude.
I don't know where they find these fat, old, sweaty, grumpy billionaires. They all look like they're like ink drawings from a hunter s thompson novel but they just roll them out of bed and they roll their greasy faces onto uh cnbc and this dude was complaining that uh he lost like a little bit of money he's not as rich as he was yesterday and then the cry at the bottom of the screen said like ja rule says all these guys are frauds it's like fuck yes that's that rules actually they do have a factory of those guys who uh all live in like the you know either long island or montclair new jersey or like somewhere in connecticut they all have the exact same blue shirts and they're all got the the robert craft like white collar on the blue shirt they might not have hemophilia but someone in their family does.
They definitely have gout. It's the gout crew.
Undiagnosed type 2 diabetes. Yeah, they just roll them out to talk down to the little guy and be like, this is wrong.
This isn't how financial markets should work. Fuck you, dude.
I'm staying a little bit woke on it because these guys are too perfect. You know? It kind of rules that if you're old and fat and rich enough, they'll just put you on television to be the most hateable person but when i look at them i'm it's like too easy of a mark for me to hate i feel like i'm being manipulated i'm just all in for anything that has uh our generation and the generation younger than us just kicking the shit out of baby boomers up and down the field because that it's been it we've gotten the shit kicked out of us it's time for us to start scoring a couple touchdowns running up the score a little bit and i know i know it's rigged i know this isn't gonna stand they're gonna figure out a way to fuck it over they'll fuck everyone over and all the little guys are gonna be screwed out of all their money but today was a fun day on the internet because it felt like the tables had turned and everything had flipped for a second.

Except for the fact that Robinhood just shut down all their trading and ruined it for everyone and all the hedge funds saved their money.

Six words, two different phrases.

Hold the line.

We're holding the line, right?

And then to the moon.

If you say to the moon enough, you'll be a billionaire eventually.

Yep.

We're not leaving.

It's been a big day for just tweeting any random Wolf of Wall Street gift. Still here.
Even though that guy went to jail. But yeah, we're not leaving we're not doing that it's been a big day for just tweeting any random wolf of wall street gift still here even though that guy went to jail leaving but yeah we're not leaving then you bring that retweet you know what bring back quaaludes yeah i'm just gonna say it i uh k said to the moon though too they shot his head off that's true yeah be careful i just got addicted to uh the retweets because if you just retweeted anything that was like you it was you could just yell anything it was like a a super drunk party yeah where you could be like usa just fuck robin hood and everyone's like yeah dude fuck yeah you're on our side i am on your side but i also was addicted to the retweets i'll admit in a weird way it's kind of like it's it is bringing everybody together and it doesn't matter if you're on the left or on the right.
I think that there's like probably 50 people that we're all pissed off that all of America is mad at right now. It's actually great to have a common enemy.
I was saying that the only way that the USA could come back together and like all pull on the same side is if aliens came down to Earth and start a war with us. Then we'd all be like, yeah,'ll fight against you i take that back it's actually better just to have these sweaty weirdos and suspenders on tv that we can all get mad at yeah bubba and i were talking about this earlier today but do you think that um do you think that today has been like the most active day on twitter in the last year no probably election day or the day that the capital was Stormed? Yeah.
That felt pretty active. Yeah, that was pretty active too.
But you should be able to bet on that and when Twitter's going to be most active. Yeah, that would actually be good, yeah.
I also, I think it's kind of funny when everyone is saying, like, the rich is stealing from the poor right now, but, like, them referring to the poor is, like you said, like, guys named Troy who probably look just like me and are, like, years old and like yeah they put like 200 bucks in their game stop right yeah the real poor people are like wait what the fuck yeah they're not very highly leveraged yeah you're officially part of the proletariat if you went to a state school yeah uh i don't know this day was fucking fun it was fun it was just fun to watch on twitter it's fun to watch any of the people who have... I just imagine Wall Street is just a big room that only a few people are allowed to go to, and it's just big levers, and they just hit it over and over.
Like, oh, print more money for us. Print more money.
Oh, hedge fund? Boom, more money for us. So to have the levers break for just one day...
Buffalo Lobbings. Yeah, pretty much.
It's pretty much the overtime lever. It's just the print more money oh it's a quarterly again we need to pay out our investors print more money so for that to stop for one second was kind of fucking funny it would be pretty hilarious if we reenacted occupy wall street if there was like occupy wall street 2.0 but just online so we didn't have to get off our couch either that or it was just like a bunch of just middle class people that went down there.
Kind of like Woodstock when they revamped Woodstock. And the second time it turns into like a big corporate event where you've got like a MasterCard stand set up to sign you up for a credit card exchange for like a Philly's Blunt t-shirt.
Yep. That'd be sick if we just all had like a middle class Occupy session down there.
Yes. Yes.
All right. So we're going to talk about more with brian uh koppelman koppelman uh brian koppelman in a minute he explains it all uh billy congrats on being rich on blockbuster we're all rich we're gonna talk a little sports in a second ever had one of those days when it's just too cold to keep working nah neither has ariot ariot work jackets and boots are packed with all the cold stopping waterproof protection you need to get the job done under any conditions so you can take any job out there and always deliver.
Check out Ariat in your local workwear retailer or visit Ariat.com slash work to get 10% off your first order when you sign up for email and weather whatever in Ariat work gear. Deshaun Watson well Well, let me back up.
The Texans have a new head coach. It is David Cully, who you might remember from such hits as the Baltimore Ravens passing game these last couple years.
Yeah, dynamic. And also the year that the Kansas City Chiefs had zero touchdowns thrown to wide receivers.
Now, their wide receivers weren't great, but he was the wide receivers coach. They did have Dwayne Bowe at the time.
They did have Dwayne Bowe. And Dwayne Bowe was good.
But, yeah, that was the Alex Smith. It was 65.
It was the Alex Smith days. So my favorite conspiracy is that I'm seeing this report as being a stopgap to get them to Josh McCown as their head coach.
Oh. Because they interviewed old Joshy boy as the head coach.

They were like, we might give this to Josh.

They're saying that David Cully is going to be the interim head coach.

Maybe they've accepted having Deshaun Watson walk out the door.

And then when they need to rebuild the franchise, you get Drago immediately in the door.

And to me, that's a Jack Easterby.

Because I know that Josh McCown, he's a big not jacking off guy.

Jack Easterby, when he was meeting with the McNairs, he was like, let's pray for our next head coach. I feel like Josh McCown is that guy.
Yes, absolutely. Because, I mean, yeah, he's you end up on a plane to Omaha.
Yeah. I thought you were going to Detroit.
I'm looking at his resume right now and I'll give him a benefit of the doubt, whatever.

Good luck to him.

I'm not rooting against him.

But a red flag.

I'll throw it out there.

He was a wide receivers coach in the NFL from 1994.

Just wide receivers.

That's the only thing he coached.

1994 to 2010.

That feels like a long time to be a wide receivers coach and not get a promotion. So he's an expert.
He's an expert. He's a wide receiver whisperer.
He is. With wide receivers like Hollywood Brown.
Mm-hmm. And that's about it.
I'm trying to think of any other good wide receiver. Des Bryant.
Des Bryant. Oh, no, he was a wide receiver for the Eagles, so Fred X.
Okay. Yeah, great.
He did that. T.O.
T.O. that ended up really well he made T.O.
kept that team together that's what you need is when you hire a guy like this you need it you need to have one claim to fame he made T.O. T.O.
even though T.O. was very much T.O.
before you got to the Eagles is there a quarterback that's like demanded a trade that's been at the stature of Deshaun Watsonatson in history jay cutler jay cutler jay cutler was a pro bowler uh no i mean it's been yeah it's been i don't think so it's uh i'm trying to think of like i'm going through in my in my memory the i mean brett farve was a lot older matt Matt Stafford right now is obviously going to be traded.

Jay Cutler.

That's Jay Cutler.

I think that's the only one.

Drew Bledsoe when Tom Brady took over, got traded.

Yeah, I mean, it's not like a long, long list of guys because it's just rare.

Because Peyton Manning, he got cut.

They released him.

Right, right, right. Yeah.

So, yeah, it's not a long list of guys. Sean Watson definitely is the youngest, best of that group.
I don't know. What do you give for him? I'd fuck.
That's the thing, too, is I saw the Bears. There was a tweet that was like, the Bears are planning on being heavily interested in Deshaun Watson.
Okay. Like, and I want to have a six pack.
What about this? Like, what the fuck are you talking about, Bears? What about this? What about Matt Stafford for Deshaun Watson and, like, two first-round picks? God, that would suck for Matt Stafford so bad. Yeah.
Jesus Christ. That would suck for Deshaun Watson so bad.
Yeah, everyone loses. Yeah, I don't know what it's going to take to get him.
Well, he's got a no-trade clause, too, so he can kind of pick his destination a little bit. I guess a lot of it would be such a the Bears would do it, too, because they would give up like four first rounders.
Like, well, you could have just picked them. But no, you and then that's the thing is it's a very odd thing for Deshaun Watson to be to demand a trade knowing how much it will take to be to to get like his services so you're essentially saying i want to be traded to a team that then will give up a bunch of draft capital and then hurt my ability to play for a winning team in a way like he's almost kind of he's kind of shitting in his own house and then buying the house he must really hate houston yeah but don't you don't you think like if you're a team that has to trade let's call it three first rounders that's a lot like that is a lot in terms of impact players that mean something to the cornerstone of your franchise like when you're drafting when you're giving up you know if you look at teams that that are successful in the nfl they don't go many years without missing a first rounder whether, whether they're picking or they're not.
When you look at teams that are just abject failures, it usually can be a number one point, be like, oh yeah, they missed three first-rounders in a row. Like, they sucked.
There's no shortage of teams out there that will convince themselves that they're one quarterback away. Right.
I'm just saying, it's a very interesting dynamic because he is kind of ruining his own house before he gets there. Yeah, but I think he's good enough where it won't really be that much of an issue if he can find a team that he likes.
A smart franchise. Yeah, smart franchise.
But then when you look at smart franchises, not that many of them will be in the market for a quarterback. And not many of them will do a trade where it's a lot of draft picks.
Deshaun Watson is an incredible talent. Deshaun Watson is worth a lot.
There is a point where you're fucking yourself over, and you're like, why would we trade for this guy with four first-round picks? I don't know if that's what it is, but if you're like, hey, I wouldn't do it for four first-round picks, would you? Me personally, yeah. You would? Yeah.
No chance. You could draft a quarterback i i think that you would be screwing yourself so royally over uh for the future if you give up four first round i'm in win now mode though big cat but there's a championship window and you gotta hit the window and then you gotta pay him too i mean i know he's got a big contract we gotta pay him i wouldn't do it for four i would i would do it for unlimited name your price is what i would seven seven sure no i'll give you my next seven okay i would love to do a deal with you i don't is there a rule in terms of like how there is how many first because i think Sean McVay has gotten up to that limit that's true yeah they had to put the they had to robin hood him they had to they'd be like hey dude you can't keep just running every single pick um all right anything else i hope he just goes i i hope he stays in houston for a little bit just so we can get another six months of Photoshop.
Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, the Photoshop's are great. I want to.
What is the what's the prevailing like thought for how much it will take to get to Sean? I think it's probably like three first rounders and like our two and two, two first rounders, two second round. I don't have my draft value chart in front There have been eight trades where two first rounders were involved for a player.
Okay. You want to relist them? Khalil Mack to Chicago.
That jury's out. Like, I mean, obviously the Bears defense is great, but it does hurt that they don't have first round picks.
I would do that again probably. Laramie Tunstall to Houston from the Dolphins.
Wouldn't do that again. If you're, if you're the Texans,

yeah,

definitely wouldn't do that again.

So that's,

so let's call it one for one.

We're going to call it one for one,

but they might,

but they might,

because they're going to,

they might get those picks back.

No,

but that doesn't count.

I'm just saying it.

You rented Deshaun Watson and Laramie Tunsil together for a year.

No,

that doesn't count.

This was July 7th,

27th,

2020.

So something happened this year. It's not on here.
Ricky Williams to Miami, 2002. No, probably not.
Although the Wildcat was sweet. Jamal Adams to Seattle this year.
Definitely wouldn't do that again. Although you also have to take into account that if you're the Jets and you have more first-round picks, that's giving more fireworks to JPP.
You're going to screw those up. It's best if you don't have them.
The color one I actually, I might we gave up Kyle Orton as well. I would, I don't know.
It didn't work out, but I also for two first round picks alright, let's just put that in the side pile. You got to the NFC championship game.
Right, and I mean the defense was still good for a few years there. And he got Johnny Knox out of it.
And he did break his thumb on, like, the team that I thought was the best Cutler team when he was playing his best ball. So, yeah, I'd do that again, actually.
I remember being so excited. I was in my Avalon RIP and just being like, whoa, this is sick.
Jalen Ramsey to the Rams. Okay.
Jury's out, I guess. Yeah, I guess the Rams might do that again.
Okay. I think the football team also gave up essentially that much to get the second pick to take RG3.
Keyshawn Johnson to the Bucs. Okay.
That wasn't – they won with defense. Like, they didn't win with Keyshawn Johnson.
And then Joey Galloway to Dallas in 2000. Yeah,ay at Dallas in 2000 yeah it's really never worked out right that's what I'm saying is this is this is and we're talking about two picks not three picks like I just think there's a point where I would do it for two I will I don't know if I'd go more than three I'd do it for two and maybe a couple second rounders this is different though because it's happening now now.
You know what I would want to do is I'd want to minimize the hurt to as small a window as possible. So I'd be like, hey, we'll give you our first, second, and third rounder this year and a first rounder next year.
So it's like the future, you know, in three years now, we have all of our picks back. So you're kind of hurting yourself for maybe this little small period.
i think any team that trades a consistent amount of picks for the future like you're really like look at the texans this year they're kind of fucked themselves now do they do cash considerations in the nfl ever like what if what if the team was like we'll give you two first round picks and we'll pay half of jj watt's remaining salary okay i could see a franchise like the texans like a cheapish franchise yeah that might not have all their shit together in front office just being like tossing Brock Osweiler and and we're good well it would be interesting you know the the Cutler trade Orton was thrown in obviously Kyle Orton I love him but he wasn't you know a franchise quarterback but you could throw in like if you're the Jets you could be like we'll trade you Sam Darnold you know what I mean Sam Darnold in two first I don't know at least gives the Texans a jumping off point for what their future might be yeah or a head coach or a head coach Andy Reid or GM Andy Reid to the Texans they keep the enemy Texans send Deshaun Watson and they the Texans take Patrick Mahomes would you trade if you were the Kansas City Chiefs, would you trade Patrick Mahomes for Deshaun Watson if the Texans also threw in three first-round picks? Wait, say it again. Deshaun Watson for Patrick Mahomes.
Yep. The Chiefs also get three first-round picks from the Texans.
No. Okay, bold.
I wouldn't trade Patrick Mahomes for anything. Nothing? I mean, you're pretty much guaranteeing that you're going to the AFC Championship game for the next, like, 15 years.
I know. I actually had this thought the other day.
Do you think, maybe not every time, but do you think Ryan Pace has, at some point, shed a tear while watching Patrick Mahomes?

Just a little cry.

What kind of car does he drive?

I definitely would cry.

Because we all joke, like, you know,

everyone makes a joke at Bears fans' expense,

oh, you could have had Patrick Mahomes.

Well, let's be honest.

I couldn't have done anything.

Ryan Pace literally could have done something.

Do you think he – I would cry a little bit.

He probably has.

Just a little.

Yeah, in a moment of truth. Like, maybe his wife walks in and he's just like no it's just dusty in here you know like uh it must be allergy season yeah but it seems like allergy season only happens when patrick mahomes in the playoffs do you think that john gruden is looking at deshaun watson a little bit this is like a wet dream for john yeah yeah man it's gonna be, it is the weirdest.
We have Deshaun Watson, Matt Stafford, uh, Philip Rivers, hopefully if he comes back out of retirement, Jamis Winston, Mitch Trubisky, lot of, a lot of pro bowl quarterbacks out there. Yep.
A lot of pro all those guys are great. Uh, yeah, it's, it's going to be a wild off season.
It's going to be one of those things where, uh, next year there are going to be so many quarterbacks in new places and so many first-time head coaches, coaching teams. Yeah.
I think there are like seven first-time head coaches that will be leading teams. The guy from the Eagles, I like his story because he basically got hired for his first coaching job because Todd Haley saw him wearing a Mountain Union shirt at the YMCA.
Right. How come no one's talked about Todd Haley this offseason? We should get him back in the circuit.
Todd Haley has a proven track record of success everywhere he goes. Yes, we should get him back in there.
Absolutely. All right, should we do – let's do – who do we do first? Keegan-Michael Key? Sure.
Let's do Keegan-Michael Key, then we have Brian Koppelman, nailed at that time. We might cut this out before we do an ad real quick, PFT.
Billy, why are you asking Kevin Bonner if you can carry a gun in a casino? Oh, it's not for me. It's not for me.
Okay, that doesn't make it any better. Yeah.
You're laundering somebody's gun question?

No, we can keep this.

Can we cut this? Because my

trainer is a former police officer, and

he has a concealed carry permit.

Okay, but why does he have to carry a gun in a casino?

He said he's former. So he's going to have a

gun at the fight in case

shit pops off? No, he's

licensed to carry

in all 50 states. Just because you're licensed to carry doesn't mean you have to carry.
He's retired. He's retired.
Right. So I told him to leave his gun at home because he can't bring it to the casino.
But then you asked, like, why can't he bring his gun? I just was wondering so I can tell him because he's – he always carries his gun, bro. He's got that look in his eye like he wants to bring his gun with him.

Leave this all in.

You can tell.

No, he always brings his gun.

Leave all this in the podcast.

No, I mean, look, I don't fuck around.

I got some great trainers.

They always stay strapped.

If they're really great boxing trainers, wouldn't they not need a gun?

Right.

Wouldn't their weapons be in their hands?

It seems to me like you are basically planning if you lose, you're just going to shoot Jose Canseco. No.
Look, I'm not going out. I wouldn't be like – I'm not losing like – Like a chump.
You're going to shoot his ass. No, no.
The thing is, think about it. Think about it.
Like, for me to lose this fight, it would mean he'd have to knock me out. Right.
Because I'm legitimately. That's the way I've been trained.
Or. Or.
But, like, I'm not losing a split decision because I'm going, like, balls to the fucking wall. Or find a way to steal the gun from the cop and empty the clip before.
No, dude. It actually sounds like Billy's planning an Ocean's Eleven-style heist at the casino.
Billy's like, hey, can I... You can't bring a gun into a casino.
Can I bring a gun and a small Asian gymnast and an old guy that's really good at impressions? Dude, look, if he asked me, yo, what's the concealed carry laws in this casino?

And I'm like, okay, let me ask my guy.

And being a cop, wouldn't you know that?

Yeah.

Oh, good point.

Former cop.

Former cop.

He's a retired police officer.

Got it.

He's the man, though.

Don't give a hard time.

I wouldn't say he's literally the man.

I would not say anything bad about him.

The dude wants to carry his gun 24-7, 365. I'm not saying bad shit about him.
He literally can't go anywhere without his gun. You guys don't understand.
No, we understand. I'm just curious how much fertilizer I'm allowed to bring into the boxing around.
No, it's not like that. It's not like that.
It's for personal protection. All right, let's do the ad.
We're going to keep all this in. Just, everyone pretend like they didn't hear that.
Don't tweet anything about that at Billy. Yeah, but Billy, you know what you should actually bring with you? If you really want to keep that motherfucking thang on you when you roll to the casino, bring some...
I don't have a gun license. I'm doing an ad read right now, Billy.
Bring some Roman swipes. Bring some Roman swipes to the casino.
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Billy, you should take Roman swipes and just wipe

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a thing if you get hit.

Boom. Figured out a way to hack boxing.

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And now here's Keegan Michael Key. Okay.
We now welcome on a very, very special guest. It is Keegan-Michael Key.
He's got a new podcast out. It's called The History of Sketch Comedy, and it's an Audible original.
Fascinating idea, something I don't think anyone else has done where it's a combo of podcasts, but also skits and sketches. Great to have you on.
I guess the first question I had to ask was, is there a part of you that you're actually ruining comedy because you're explaining the joke in a 10-part podcast? You know, that is a really good question. I'm glad you asked that.
That's fantastic. I am of the belief that you can't ruin it by analyzing it.
It's funny. It's W.C.
Fields. He's the one that said he goes, I can't tell you why.
I can't tell you what I can tell you what's funny. I can't tell you why.
And my thing is part of my fascination with comedy has always been trying to figure out the why, trying to figure out the science of it. But I think that the science of it still, the way that jokes are constructed and sketches are constructed, you still don't always know what the person's going to say, even if you know what the construction is.
And you actually, guess what? You already know the rules because it's just storytelling. Any story that was read to you as a kid, any story you read to your kids, there's, there's, there's a certain way that things are set up.
So what happens is in, you know, when you're in a movie and you hear that guy behind you goes, okay, yeah, no, she's going to be, she's going to break them up. Okay.
You know, like you're watching the movie about two guys are in a band and then one of them meets a girl and you go, Oh boy, here she is. Okay.
She's the one that's going to break them up. That guy, you get pleasure from that because you know what the movie is, or you know the tro of the movie or you kind of know the direction the joke's going in but you don't really right you don't you don't know exactly how it's going to be executed look they're going to run a jet sweep but is which guard is going to pull i don't know yet you know what i mean or is the center going to pull i yet.
So the, the origin of this whole thing, the origin of this whole thing was my wife, Elle, and I having conversations about jokes over the years. Okay.
So that's how this thing came to be. Yeah.
That's fascinating to me. One thing I've always wondered, I don't know if you touch on this in your podcast or not, but when people laugh, why do we laugh? And I'm not talking about like the mental recognition of the joke or the unexpected punch line that that hits you in a different way i'm saying like physiologically like why does my chest convulse and why do i make this weird sound out of my mouth when i think that something's funny so here's the it's crazy i just you asked me that question just made me realize how much of a nerd I am.
There is a philosopher – I can't believe this is happening. I get to actually answer this question after all these years.
Yes. There is a French philosopher named Henri Bergson, or you and I would say Henri Bergson.
And Henri Bergson believed that there's this social contract that we have with each other, this malleability that we have with each other. Like, you know, when you walk down the street and you and the other person go the same way, you go, Oh, excuse me.
So you go, excuse me. He goes, excuse me.
Then you both go the same way. Then you go, Oh, sorry.
And you go the same way again. And then the next thing that happens is you go, it's a release.

It's a release from the fact that you broke a social more, right?

If two men get, if two straight men get too close to each other, it's like, oh, sorry

about that.

That's where laughter comes from.

The interesting thing is when we're babies, we don't laugh for that reason.

When we're babies, we laugh out of joy.

When we get older, we laugh out of uncomfortability.

So your – thing is when we're babies we don't laugh for that reason when we're babies we laugh out of joy when we get older we laugh out of uncomfortability so your your diaphragm contracting yeah and you pushing air out of your body is a release of social tension and uncomfortability okay i usually just kiss the dude but that sounds like right away it's like dude if we're locked for more than a second just kiss you got to break the tension, but that sounds like right away. It's like, dude, if we're locked for more than a second, just kiss.
You got to break the tension. That's permission.
Right. That's just permission.
Right. Just kiss the dude.
Go on your way. What you just described was Andrew Luck.
Like Andrew Luck gets tackled. He gets sacked and he laughs at people.
Like he laughs. He's like, good hit.
But that's not because he thinks it's funny. He's just tense in the pocket.
and then he gets hit, and he's releasing that tension afterwards. That is exactly – other guys are laughing to try to get in other guys' heads.
Andrew Luck wasn't trying to get in their head. He was trying to release that tension, right? When you're throwing, you keep – if you're a quarterback, you keep your elbow in, and then everything off is a whip, right? Throwing a ball is not that different from from a golf swing so if he can keep loose and keep loose and stay in the pocket he's going to be more accurate and have more zing on the pass so you're absolutely right that was why he would laugh that is why that particular athlete would laugh makes sense he probably went to science class stanford what are you gonna do yeah um so i don't want to give away the whole everyone should go listen to it but, I saw you talk about Prairie Home Companion.
I love that show. I love listening to that show.
Why is that show so genius? Did you get into it? Did you explain that joke?

I did I love you know what I explained about Prairie Home Companion that again that was my

my wife's idea my wife and partner because she's my writing but she's a really brilliant director

and she's like you should talk about things from your personal life and that Prairie Home Companion

story wife and partner because she's my writing, but she's a really brilliant director. And she's like, you should talk about things from your personal life.
And that Prairie Home Companion story popped into my head. And I was like, oh, I should talk about Garrison Keillor.
So what makes that stuff work is the running order of the show. So sometimes not necessarily even laughter, just the running order of the show.
Like you're like, oh, and now a song's coming.

Oh, and now the monologue's coming. It gives you that lovely sense of familiarity that makes you – listening to that show, right? Didn't that show make you feel like you were putting a warm blanket on? Yes, yes.
It's that feeling where you know here's the intro, then he's going to do the introduction to the guests. He's going to do a couple jokes then a sketch then a song then another song then a sketch then the monologue and you just knew we know every saturday night at 11 35 on nbc there's going to be a political cold open right then the host is going to come out and say i'm so happy to be here on Saturday Night Live.
And then we usually go into what's called a credential sketch or a commercial parody. One of those digital shorts.
That's the next thing we go into. You just your brain knows it because you've been watching Saturday Night Live since you were a kid.
Yes. And there's a certain amount of comfort.
Now, if they break that pattern, you're definitely going to laugh. You're definitely going to laugh.
and go gonna go oh oh no i thought they went to a real commercial but it's actually them oh that's good that's good that's good yeah so yeah so the thing that gets you the most excited is when something super clever and also breaks a pattern breaks the pattern right the reason we giggled is because you said, I usually kiss the guy. You broke the pattern.

This is fascinating because, you know, we love comedy,

but we consider ourselves, this podcast, for the most part,

we are not as smart as the smart people,

but a little bit smarter than really dumb people.

So we're right in that range where, like, I could understand,

oh, that's funny, but I don't really know why. And someone like you who's smarter than us can tell us, hey, here's probably why.
And I never even thought of it that way, but you're right. Well, it's also, it's just, it's not, here's the thing.
Here's how, here's what I think about smarter or not smarter about people. I just happen to have a passion for this thing.
And however, I was raised and where I was raised and who I was raised by. And same thing for you.
You have a passion about something. So there's definitely as much as I enjoy sports, I'm going to gamble.
No, no, no, we're dumb across the board, across the board, like legit across the board. We could talk about sports, but we're dumb about it.
We're actually very, very savvy. We thought the bills were going to kill the chiefs on sunday we're very savvy investors we're more of like finance pros so if you have any questions about that yeah robin hood yeah more about mortgage you're really more into mortgage-backed security right yeah synthetic cdo's um basically yeah dogecoin you name it uh what was the first joke ever told it's got to be a guy getting hit in the nuts, right? Or a fart joke.
No, it's nuts. It's a fart joke.
It's a fart joke. Yeah.
So the first recorded joke was from the 19th century B.C., 1900 B.C., and it's a Sumerian joke. And it's something – I mean, trust me, bro, we're gone with the context.
The context is long gone. But it's about a young, something about respect for the young bride who farts as she sits on her husband's lap.
Okay. That's funny.
Yeah. No context needed.
I think you're looking too hard for subtext.

See, this is where being too smart gets you into trouble sometimes because you're trying to analyze why the bride farting on her husband is funny. No, no, no.
You can just stop the sentence there and it's like that's just. You just said it.
That's an entire sketch. Yeah.
Yeah. Could have been a queen.
That's just funny. Yeah.
That's funny. That's funny.
That shit is funny. That's great.
That shit is funny. just said it and I just started to laugh.
You also – there was one of the episodes you talk about working in medieval times. What did you do for medieval times? Oh, no.
I didn't work at medieval times. I worked at a renaissance festival.
Okay. Sorry.
Renaissance festival. Yes.
I worked at a – yeah. So I did at the renaissance festival, I did a comedy show, a comedy sword fighting show.
So it was me and a guy and a woman. And the woman plays like the damsel in distress and the two guys fight over her.
And then at the end, she takes some guy in the audience. You know, like we would busk for a crowd.
We get a crowd like, come here to see the comedy show. And then, you know, you get like a crowd of like 50 or 100 people around and then you do the thing and then you pass the hat afterwards.
And, uh, and so we did, you know, so I learned how to, my, my, my boss at the time, he taught me how to sword fight, taught me the moves of sword fighting and tiger rolls and asymmetrical rolls and judo rolls. So he'd like throw me and I'd tumble and get up and it was great.
And then, you know, you grab someone's hat or fanny pack out of the audience and do bits with them. And that's kind of how I started learning bits, how to do street theater and physical bits.
Like, like when people come up to you at Disneyland and stuff like that, it was that type of humor. And I would watch all the other shows at the, at the Renaissance festival, the juggling shows and how they did the timing with their jokes.
And like guys would do do tight rope shows, but they always had jokes in them. And you could tell they've been doing this for 15, 20 years and that they just knew the timing of how to get to this person.
They knew what person to pick in the audience. Like I learned so much from that experience.
And then obviously like Key and Peele was, it was a big part I think of a lot of our comedy experiences growing up.

I think probably for a lot of our listeners, our audience out there, they probably watched a ton of you on television.

My biggest question for you when it comes to that show is how did you determine who got to go first in terms of Key and Peele?

Oh, yeah.

We literally – we said let's just keep this as simple as possible.

Let's just go alphabetical. Let's know this.
Let's completely know drama this. And had his name been Dieter, it would have been called Dieter and Key.
It sounds like you wanted your name first and then retroactively you're like, let's just do it alphabetically.

Oh, wait. Yeah, that's crazy.
K comes before P. Weird.

Well, I will tell you, the first time I said,

there's a sketch comedy show from the 80s in England

called A Little Bit of Fry and Laurie.

And Hugh Laurie from House is a member of that team, that comedy team.

And they used to call them Fry and Laurie.

Fry and Laurie.

And to be honest, it's like, can you say it quickly?

Key and Peele. Key and Peele.

Peele and Key.

Thank you. call them fry and laurie fry and laurie and to be honest it's like can you say it quickly can't peel can't peel peel and peel and key yeah i couldn't even i couldn't even get it out the first time kill the key and jordan who was just about the most even keeled guy you're ever gonna meet he just he was just like works for me yeah yeah now i'm gonna go over here and win an oscar You know what I mean? I mean, he just, it's like, he's just, he was sneaky.
He's like sneaky genius, you know, because doesn't talk a lot. And then all of a sudden get out happens.
Everyone's like, what the hell? Where this was like, this is the comedian guy. Yeah.
And the thing is he's, it's, uh, it was just for him. He was like, I'm great.
Key and Peele sounds good. Let's do it.
Uh, I, the had you on, though, is that I want to get season three of Friends from College. What the fuck? No, seriously.
I love that show. I might be in a minority here because I actually rewatched it a few months ago during quarantine.
And it's still, I sat there at the end being like, what the fuck? I want to see the next season. So can you do that? What do we have to do? I don't know.
I honestly don't know. It's like it's not in my purview and it's kind of above my pay grade.
That's bullshit. Yeah, it did.
I will say it did end abruptly. Yes.
Yes. That's one way to put it, definitely.
How does that work, though, with a project that ends abruptly? Is there – obviously, I what i don't know it's been four or five years is there a part of you that's like maybe someday they'll come back and be like hey let's do another season or is it just totally dead out of your mind gone i have to the thing is i have to move on and if it were to come back then it would be a pleasant surprise like it you know for that kind of work because i really love the people i work with on the show so much and uh i had really great rapport with everybody and i so you you for me you kind of it's like it's like the last loss right okay that was we took the l gotta move on gotta move on to the next game gotta move on to the next game because you have to get it out of your head and then start to really give all of your attention and all of your focus to whatever the next project is. And I've been very, very, very, very fortunate in my career that those, you know, that you hope that those next projects come along because you got to give them gusto.
That's the thing about our job is you got to make sure you give a hundred percent to everything you do so that you can know that if it goes well, it's because you gave it everything. And if it doesn't go well, you'll have solace that you gave it everything.
everything see i need it to be more like sports though i need you to be able to be like i'm holding out until they do another season like i'll not i will not do anything else until they do another season i need some backing here it's funny because you you could hold out but then what happens is netflix will go but here are the algorithms you know what i mean and then dang it I can't beat the math math i can't beat the math you know but uh we could i appreciate it like yeah we could pump it up i mean we basically have just made everyone millionaires billionaires from uh game stop which actually we had nothing to do with that but we could pump it up everyone go watch friends from college i highly recommend it two seasons on netflix get the algorithm going and we'll you'll do do another season guaranteed there you go maybe who knows for free never know for free you'll do another season for free right no out of the question i'm sorry now now i have to put my foot down i mean as much as i love those so you're all holding out for money then yeah all right so you're all holding out for money all right definitely got it that's fine. I would do it again for money.
I've always wondered about you because you obviously are a trained actor. You're a very passionate speaker.
So when you talk, you speak with a purpose. And a lot of your comedy comes, I think, from the inflection that you put on the words.
But you're also a writer. You're a comedy writer.
I was wondering about your process when it comes to writing a sketch, whether it's for Keen Peel or whatever it is, and if you know that something's funny after you read it out loud, or if you know something's funny just by writing it down. For me, being a performer primarily, it's always about you have an inkling that it's funny when you read it, but the proof is in the pudding.
It's when it's delivered because you don't ever know exactly how it's delivered. The interesting thing about plays or this Audible series for that matter is that it is being written to perform.
That's what he used to say about Shakespeare. People would be like Shakespearean analysts would be like, and then what he meant here by this phrase was this.
And what he meant about it, this is his reference to the teapot dome scandal or to the gunpowder plot. Nobody cares, bro.
I just want to see, does the good guy win? Does Hamlet kill his uncle? What, you know what I mean? Do Romeo and Juliet live? That's all we care about. No, they do not live.
Spoiler. But you hope and pray that the performer can make it interesting enough that you think, are they going to live this time? That would – you know? So what interestingly happened in the podcast or in the series is that my wife, she wrote most of it.
She's a really brilliant writer, brilliant writer, and has been writing for years. She wrote most of it, but she's also writing for my voice.
She's writing for what she thinks will be fun for me. You know, she's like the offensive coordinator.
She's going, oh, this will be a fun play. And I'm Brady, right? So, you know, so she's Arians and I'm Brady and she's, but she'll sometimes write something and go, I'm going to write this.
And I know exactly how Keegan's, what the inflection and the syntax of this phrase is going to be. I know how he's going to say this.
And then I'll say it, and then other times I'll try to surprise her so that it's this really great collaborative effort between the two of us because she hears me in her head, and then she starts typing based on my rhythms and my inflections. Yeah, what I was thinking of specifically was the substitute teacher sketch and the word churlish, right?

Because when you see the word churlish on a piece of paper, it's not funny. It's a plain looking word.
It's kind of like an oatmeal word. When you say it out loud, though, that's the best punchline in that entire sketch.
It's not even a punchline. It's just you saying an English word with a funny inflection on it.
Right. And it's interesting.

That line is one of two improvised lines in that scene. Every other line in that scene is written.
Those, that line insubordinate and churlish is, is improvised. And to be honest with you, I think I improvised it in the moment because it was literally in the moment I had discovered something about the character right then, right.
Then I was like, this guy was in the military. This guy was in the military was my thought.
And then I went, insubordinate and churlish. Because you would only ever hear the word insubordinate from a sergeant.
You know what I mean? He went AWOL. And then churlish, I got to tell you, came out of my mouth because of what you just said it wouldn't have been written on the page no one would think to write that unfunny of a word on a page right you know so it just kind of came out of nowhere and so when writing sketch really or writing the the the series it's the same thing it was just pretty much a 10-hour monologue so she's writing a 10 she's writing this little moments inside the piece are little sketches and she's like he would enjoy this oh he's good at doing that so very often you come up with ideas of what would be fun for you and as you're writing it on the now i don't know jordan wrote the east west pole um all-star sketch from Key and Peele.
I imagine as he was writing it, when you come up

with a name like Jack Marius Tech Theratrix or Le Carpetron Duke Marriott, that he must have found it funny in the moment. I imagine him going, Yeah, right.
But then the execution enhances it. Enhances it.
Yes. I'm a simple guy.
If you show me a video of someone puking, I laugh. Why? Why? Because, again, it's something out of the ordinary.
It's breaking up the social contract. Nobody would do that.
If you see it, it's a – when things bend – here's another thing from Henry Bergson um when things bend here's another thing from uh henry bergson when things bend we giggle when things break we laugh so falling on a banana peel boom and then straight on your ass is a break that's not a bend slipping on a banana peel slightly humorous right. Interesting.
Right? But if you go

ass over apple carts,

we laugh.

We're releasing that tension.

We're releasing that tension

because we actually feel bad.

Right.

But we're releasing that tension.

That's sometimes

where the laughter comes from.

That's his theory.

I was going to say

it's just holes.

Yeah.

Like if something comes out

of a hole

normally goes into.

Yeah.

Hole humor.

That's where it gets interrupted.

Yeah.

You should do it

on episode 11 on holes.

Yeah.

Just the funniest holes.

What do you think is the funniest hole? The funniest hole? Yeah. H-O-L-E.
Yeah. The funniest hole.
I'll start. Butthole.
Butthole is really funny. Yeah.
Again, something we don't talk about. Oh, also the release comes from we didn't think we didn't think what you just said we didn't think that was funny when we were four three you walk around the house you fart nobody think it's the day that you start noticing that your parents notice you when you do it.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait, why did you look at me? And then, and then look at you again, wait, well, what's happening? Is that because of what I just did? You see what I'm saying? You don't know there's anything quote unquote wrong with flatulets. You just do it.
Yeah. Once a social more is put can we have we have the opportunity for humor what about what about dogs do dogs get get jokes dogs do not get jokes that's why they just fart whatever they want yeah you're like what is he doing we laugh at the dog because the dog has no shame about it no shame about right at all so if i was we would laugh yeah so i want my son to be a comedian i need to just laugh at everything he does what i guess okay so let's go back to to berkson to the to the philosopher you would actually teach your son all the all the things that people don't find uh acceptable and then he'd want to do it.
That sounds like the worst parenting ever. Don't do that.
He's got scissors. That's hilarious.
Yeah. Fire.
Funny. I would show your son comedy and let him absorb sketches.
Let him absorb stand-up jokes and then you I have friends who have uh children they say um Fred Savage from the actor Fred Savage who was in uh friends from college he told me one day he came to work he was beaming and I said what's going on Fred he goes my son August he said he just has this appreciation for humor and it just lights up my heart because I watch him starting to get jokes and understand jokes. So if you expose your son to jokes, my feeling is that he'll start to go – he'll start to figure out the architecture.
He'll start to figure out why it works or he'll start to be able to disseminate the difference between the setup and the punchline. and it's really apparently a fascinating thing to watch a child start to understand humor

yeah he'll start to be able to disseminate the difference between the setup and the punchline. And it's really apparently a fascinating thing to watch a child start to understand humor and get jokes.
I just realized, too, that when he was a baby and he would puke, I would laugh every time. So he probably will start puking all the time.
No joke. He might do that.
He'd puke on me and I'd laugh. Is there something about it? What about Jackass? Why is Jackass funny? Oh, good question.
Because I think that Jackass, people have varying opinions about it. But I honestly think that you could show jackass to anybody that's ever lived in any society, in any civilization, and they would laugh at it.
I agree. I agree.
I agree. It's the most basic thing.
Again, it's that thing. The only wrinkle with jackass is that they are voluntarily

and willingly doing it to themselves.

Yeah.

But if you take that part out, if you take all the preamble out,

I think you're absolutely right.

From the Sumerians to today on Pardon My Take, it's just primal.

All right, Keegan, Michael Key, this has been awesome.

We really appreciate it.

You have to come back on at some point,

and maybe hopefully when we can actually do interviews in person,

you can sit with us for a while.

Since you're in New York, we're in New York.

But everyone go listen to his new podcast.

It's out, The History of Sketch Comedy, an Audible original, 10 parts.

Fascinating stuff.

We really appreciate your time, man.

Thank you guys so much for having me on.

Yes, I'd love to be able to do this on purpose. That'd be great.

Thanks, man. Awesome.

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and exclusions. Now, here's Brian Koppelman.

And now for something completely different.

Okay, we now welcome on our good

good friend. It is Brian Koppelman.

He's got a... Koppelman.
I don't know why I said

Koppelman. Koppelman.
Brian Koppelman, he's

got...

You watch Billions.

You've been on a million times. I don't have to introduce you the same

way. We wanted to have you on because the financial world is in ruins.
Twitter is aflame. Everything is upside down.
And you kind of predicted all this, right? You're the Simpsons of this scenario. Well, you know, Levine and I, obviously, Dave Levine, my partner in Billions, and I in our writer's room, we've been watching this stuff bubble up.
And yeah, I mean, here we had a little run where, where acts on the first half of the season, the half that aired, you know, it was been even in the, in the scene, commenters on, right. We, we have, uh, acts at the head of Goldman Sachs about buying his digital bank.
And that's because Axe sort of starts to see where all this stuff might be going and is aware of this stuff. But to me, the hilarious part has been just everybody.
I mean, you guys have seen it like these thousands of people coming up with billion scenarios to include this whole thing. And you both understand the mechanics of how to short things.
Right. Because I know trying to explain that even on the show, where like the fourth episode of the first season is called Short Squeeze.
And it was so hard to find a way to explain what this means to sell something short. So I've loved the sort of financial literacy now that like people are talking about Robin Hood and this shit, the way they talk about betting lines.
Like, you know how, if you explain to somebody who's not a betting person, how hard it is to even explain the over under to somebody. Right.
Right. Totals or like someone calls it an over under and someone else calls it totals.
And the third person is like, what the fuck are you guys talking about? That's what this has always been like. But, but it feels to me like now people are kind of understanding the language of this and maybe part of that has to do with that they're they've watched our show a little bit yeah so we do understand it duh like we're smart guys but if we weren't able to understand it um you tell us what what has gone down in the last 24 hours as you see it and then we'll fact check you when when you're wrong.
Good. No, I mean, that's the thing, right? I'm like you guys, this isn't what I do to make my living, but I had to become really educated in order to tell stories about it.
Like I was just interested in, Dave and I were both just interested in people willing to kind of put it all on the line the way that these hedge fund people are willing to. But this whole idea of short selling, the way the best way to explain it, and I was able to explain it with props and a couple of people at home is, if you want to bet that the price of something will go down, there are a couple of ways you can do that.
One is to buy options. This is not exactly short selling, right? One is to say, I want to buy what's called a put option, meaning I want to say that at a lower price in a month from now, I can buy this stock.
And there's some of that going but this is true that most of this is a traditional short selling, which is, I would say to you, uh, big cat, I would say, Hey, can I borrow your iPhone? And you'd be like, well, yeah, you can borrow my iPhone, but for how long? And every day you borrow my iPhone, you got to give me a couple of cents. I'd be like, that's fine.
Let me borrow it. And then I take that iPhone and I fucking sell it for $10.
Buys the iPhone from me for 10 bucks because I believe there's going to be a glut on iPhones. There are going to be so many more made or that particular one's going to become obsolete.
The new one's going to come out tomorrow. So the price of the one I gave, I sold for 10 bucks is going to go down.
If I'm right, let's say it goes down by $5. I go back and I'm like, look, dude, you're stuck with that iPhone, but I'll buy it off you for the market price of $5.
He says, yes, gives it to me back. I've given him.
Now he paid me 10 bucks for it. I got it back from him for five.
I made a $5 spread. I still have to return the iPhone to you.
So I return the iPhone to you and I have $5. I have made $5.
But where people can get fucked in this is unlike on a regular stock, if I buy a stock that's $10 and I want it to go long up, I know the worst it can do is go from 10 to zero. So I know what the worst, I know that on one share of stock, the most I can lose is $10.
The difference between 10 and zero. Okay.
But when you take a short position, because I'm obligated to buy that thing back and return it to you from whom I borrowed it, I have to buy it back. Right.
So if, and especially if you decide you want it back and you call that thing back, now what if it's worth $40? I haven't just lost 10 bucks. I've lost $30.
The difference between $10 and $40. And so a short squeeze happens when a bunch of investors know that one investor or a smaller group or a different group of investors are betting that something is going to go down.
And they decide, no, no, no. For a period of time, even if the fundamentals look bad, we can make it appear that this is a good stock.
We can all buy it. And as we buy it, the market adjusts and the prices go up and we can squeeze that short seller and cost them so much money that perhaps they will have to go out of business.
And that is what happened here with Robinhood and these hedge funds. How'd I do? Yeah, no, that was great.
Well, Robinhood then shut it off, right?

That was the hedge funds and everyone-

Well, then the pressure from the,

well, then, now this is the part

nobody actually knows yet.

Meaning, yes, Robinhood stopped people

from being able to buy more of that stock.

They still let people sell it.

But what they said was they're protecting investment.

So one of the dangers of this, right?

If you took them at face value is,

Thank you. They still let people sell it.
But what they said was they're protecting. So one of the dangers of this, right, if you took them at face value is.

Because the fundamentals of the stock are bad and like it's probably a dollar stock.

The fact that it was at 300 means at some point, like the tulip bubble, you know, of 200 years ago, at some point, the bubble will burst.

And then all these people would have lost so much money. All these people still holding the stock would lose so much money.

I'm going to go ahead and get it. you know, of 200 years ago, at some point, the bubble will burst.
And then all these people would have lost so much money, all these people still holding the stock would lose so much money. But what people believe, and what I tend to believe, knowing the way that the conspiracies in this world can work, is that a bunch of the institutional investors behind Robinhood leaned on Robinhood to sort of try to protect the status quo, meaning protect the fat cats, the rich guys.
And although it was funny today to watch your rich guy go after the owner of the Mets, Steve Cohen, because for the regular guy, because and your guy cracks me the fuck up, though I was with you, Big Cat, on the Trump interview. But Portnick cracks me up and I find him hilarious and so fun to watch but watching him have the side of the little guy against Steve Cohn even though both of them are so wealthy was pretty entertaining did you think so? Steve Cohn is a billionaire and when he dropped the line I'm just trying to be out here making a living just like you are I think we've passed that point i think we've passed that point in time where you own the mets i think your living is pretty good like you don't you've made it you're not it is what i would say when people ask me what is when people want to know like where what are other what are the rich what are rich people think is rich i think port no i quad if you have 100 million yeah anybody you rich.
So I think Portnoy qualifies by anybody's definition as a rich guy.

Are you worried?

Are you afraid that maybe somebody's going to come out with a TV show

called Trillions?

And then you're like, well, shit, what am I going to do?

I mean, I think you might have pitched me that the first time I was on the show.

Trillions, yeah.

Because if you have the option to watch Trillions or Billions

and you're watching Billions, that's indicative of a a limited mindset and we have unlimited mindsets on this show. That's clear that you do.
But listen, if trillions needs any kind, when they get that thing together, maybe they'll need some sort of a consultant and maybe they'll find a little role for Dave and me to play. We'll just contribute what we can up at that trillions level.
What about the idea that I pitched you yesterday that I wrote about on Barstool, which is that maybe in a future season, Bobby Axelrod gets like – he shorts Olive Garden and then he gets his fattest friend to go with him and then just eats all the breadsticks and soup knowing that the stock price is going to go down. It's a version of beating.
I think it's more of a, here's what I think. I think there's a law and order episode for sure.
And a guy who thinks he can beat the buffet and this guy is murdered on the subway and you find it out. It's because he's been beating the buffet at some small restaurant in times, you know, next time square.
And that guy wants that restaurant. I was like like fuck it i'm killing this guy because i'm tired of him beating the buffet it's more i think it slots into like a low on order kind of a thing than than billions but i encourage you to continue to pitch me that's why i i this is why i come here on your show so so in billions for people who don't watch it we both watch it, obviously.
What was the exact conclusion to this situation that's happening right now? Because you did have an episode that was very similar to what's happening in real life. So how does it play out? Did you guys see, did you guys sit down and be like, all right, so how is this actually going to play out in real life? Oh, yeah.
Well, these things play a few different ways um that there's a great i can't remember the name of the book but it's fucking great about these two that's a great book too but know about um bill ackman and carl icon you know both huge multi multi-billionaires and they had a giant war um over one of those this company that akman thought was a multi um level marketing scheme and watching the way that that kind of short uh the herbal life right they were arguing about herbal life because akman was publicly shorting it and another example of that is tesla you know there are some very famous guys who publicly shorting it. And another example of that is Tesla.
You know, there are

some very famous guys who've shorted Tesla and continue to short Tesla and have lost billions of dollars of their funds worth because they think it's a con. And Elon has taken shots at them online.
And although it's not officially a short squeeze, meaning, but he, you know, every time that stock goes up,

he's killing these guys who are short on the stock.

So. a short squeeze, meaning, but, but he, you know, every time that stock goes up, he's killing these guys who are short on the stock.
So it can go one of two ways, either the, in the end, if the short, here's what happens often. If the short is, if the person short is in that position, because they really believe it's a con, like Enron is an example where there were short sellers who, even as our Enron was going up, they realized that it was a scam,

like really not just a bad company, but they realized it was actually a fraud.

If you, so if you know in your heart and your head, like, oh, that's a fraud,

you might be able to withstand losing the money for a really long time because

when it shows up, you're going to make an absolute insane fortune,

billions of dollars when, when you're right.

Thank you. for a really long time because when it shows up, you're going to make an absolute insane fortune, billions of dollars when you're right.
And so if a short seller has the stomach to stay in, they can get incredibly wealthy in fewer trades. So like long sellers, people who buy stocks long, they're traditionally in many more stocks.
People who go short, they're short fewer positions. But when those positions pay off, they're huge fucking wins.
But it's a very dangerous fucking game. I would be terrified to really take any substantial portion of my money and play it short because I had no confidence I could predict the psychology of the market.
And let's say you're right, man. Let's say it is a fraud, some company, or that they are cooking the books in some way.
What makes you think the market is going to react rationally to that? Like people can just decide they love the company and it doesn't matter that you're right and you could still get killed. So I find short sellers fascinating to watch.
We've had Axe make a lot of short plays. And it is a fascinating and fun thing to watch somebody fuck around in that area because they have balls of steel to do it.
But it's high, high risk. Because you're also betting against the general trajectory of the stock market, which is over time, historically, the stock market has gone up.
So you're picking this one stock out and saying not only is the stock bad or overvalued, but it's also overvalued compared to the trajectory of the market as a whole, right? 100%. And also, everybody hates you like the guy betting the don't pass line in Vegas at the craps table.
Even though that's actually the smart enough bet, people hate you for betting the don't pass line because they want the mojo. They believe, right? We're here at the table.
We should all be rooting for us to make the points and make the numbers and go. And this one fucker sitting there betting against everybody.
And so short sellers are often really wildly disliked. And that's why they often get other groups of people to want to go against them.
So short sellers are very strategic about when they reveal. Here's where it also gets fun and tricky.
If you're a short seller, you don't have to declare that you have a short position. But if you start bad-mouthing the company publicly,

you have to declare.

And so it's a real question like,

all right, is it time yet?

Are we positioned enough yet that I can start shit-talking the company?

Because if I do, I have to admit I'm short.

And then if people hate me because of a deal,

this is what goes on in the Herbalife book,

which is amazing to the billionaires doing this.

One guy felt another guy had fucked him over 10 years before in a deal, having nothing to do with it. And then when he heard that this guy was short, he was like, this is my chance for revenge.
Almost like the princess bride or something with the sword. He was like, now I can get my revenge.
And he gathered all these forces to short squeeze this guy and fuck him over. Like he the grudge for 10 years so releasing the idea that you have a short position can get you screwed on the other hand if you don't make your position if you don't publicly point out what's fucked up about the company then maybe your short never comes in so that's also a very dramatic sort of a moment in the life of somebody doing this stuff and it's part of what why the narrative of all this is so fascinating to Levine and Mick yeah and so now today though uh there is an extra element of it really feels like the Wall Street fat cats hedge funds essentially like the the gig is up everyone knows the game's rigged they literally rigged it in plain sight and said there's nothing you can do about it does that is that a fair assessment it does feel i would say this uh because of what i do i this is the shit that i will read super closely and i'll talk to a bunch of reporters it seems like it to me too i'm very i really do want to talk to the primary reporters and be like what do you think and then i'll i'll probably get to talk to a bunch of reporters.
It seems like it to me too. I'm very, I really do want to talk to the primary reporters and be like, what do you think? And then I'll, I'll probably get to talk to a couple of the investors around it and piece it together.
Yeah, man, everything I know about this tells me like everything I know about these people tells me that they were all like, hold on a second. Like the Dukes, almost like the Dukes in trading places being like, turn those machines back on.
Right. It's like they're almost, you get the sense that the fat cats are doing that.
I think that's very likely, but I do want to do my own work and find out, which we'll know, man, people are going to report on this and it's crazy. And you feel the way folks are following it and everyone seems outraged at the same time that suddenly when these investors are, suddenly when Wall Street bets, Reddit investors are winning and the hedge funders are losing, that that's when they push pause on Robinhead.
I totally agree that that does not seem like an umpire calling balls and

strikes.

It,

it seems like an umpire as a guy's about to get to first base,

just fucking knocking them back until the shortstop can pick up the ball and

throw it to first.

So yeah,

I agree.

That's what it feels like.

It would be like the Yankees pausing a game in like the seventh inning and

then adding a bunch of all-stars and being like,

okay,

let's go back on.

That's what Darren Revell said.

Darren Revell said,

it'd be like if the underdog was winning at halftime in the super Bowl, then they'd let the other team play the second half with like 12 players on the field. Yeah, it did.
It feels that way. That's what I'm saying.
I want to like do the work of figuring it out, but it fucking feels that way to me. And if I were one of those Robin Hood investors, I would be fucking batshit pissed about this.
And I would feel like, wait a second. I was, so yesterday I was a big boy or girl and I could fucking, uh, I can take my risks, but today because I'm winning, I can't take my risks.
You're suddenly protecting me. I would totally be outraged if I were one of them.
Yeah. And it seems like, um, at least this is the, uh, the attitude that some of the billionaires that I've seen on television are putting out, which is saying that, uh, they're treating this like a casino.
They're, they're treating it just like it's a number on a screen. When in reality, us investors, we look at companies and try to build value in them by injecting capital.
To me, that is the biggest load of bullshit of all time. The stock, like the rules that the stock market is set up by does make it a casino, essentially, for people.
That's what it is. You put your money in money in you take it out later there's no rule saying that like you can't do this day trading for fun you can't try to you're 100 right and they do fucking uh high frequency trading on things they've had an edge for the last what 15 years 20 years when this this whole thing started when they had the data like milliseconds before other traders

would have it. So they had their edge.
They were trying to make short cash in cash outs.

And the second that normal people start to what happened was they underestimated the ability of

the public to band together as a giant hedge fund and their ability to compete against the other

funds out there and having more spending power if enough investors act together as one. You're 100% right that that kind of language is what those institutional investors always use when the truth is very few of them believe that.
A hundred percent. They, in fact, they want, all they want, if you speak to them privately is for there to be a lot of dumb money in markets, right? Dumb money allows them to have an edge, right? The more uninformed and dumb money is sort of, you know, spazzed out into the market, the better in poker terms, when people talk about spazzing into a pot, the better that is for the smart investor who now has an edge, right? Supposedly.
And they do traditionally have an edge. And that is all they want.
They will tell you hedge funds are harder now because there's less dumb money. So they wanted all this Robinhood money in there when they thought it was dumb money.
Suddenly when it's smart money, they're not that interested in it. What's to stop a group of people from getting together hypothetically? Let's say they just pick a stock.
Let's call it Dave and Buster's, right? They pick Buster's stock. Hypothetically.
Hypothetically. And you have, say, millions of people that are involved in this group.
I don't know if it's a wink and a nod or if it's written down somewhere, if that makes it illegal or whatever, but you buy the stock and then it's agreed that everyone else that will purchase this stock, like there'll be 10% of you that will be able to cash out, that should cash out your earnings within six months and then we'll get more people in. And then the stock keeps going up and up.
That's a Ponzi scheme. You can't do a Ponzi scheme.
Why not? What if everyone knows it's a Ponzi scheme, though? We had that idea before. Now you're into this multi-level.
Proving a Ponzi scheme is difficult, as the Herbalife thing showed, because in the end, the courts never said Herbalife was a Ponzi scheme. I'm not saying it was.
I'm saying one investor thought it was. A lot of investors thought it was.
But in the end, the courts did not hold that it was a Ponzi scheme. And it's hard to prove that something is a Ponzi scheme.
But collusion, market manipulation is not allowed. And so if a group of people are intentionally manipulating the market uh and that can be proved uh that that is uh fineable and okay i did well erase everything i haven't read up i will say like i've read a lot about that but not in the last couple days so what what's what's going to end up happening is probably like a couple of the small guys are going to end up getting dinged up for this and all the fat cats are going to walk away free.
Because they're going to be like, well, you manipulated GameStop. Yeah, like, oh, you can't do that even though they do it on the other side.
I don't know if this was market manipulation. This wasn't secret.
So there are a bunch of things that make it in my head not market manipulation. They weren't hoarding.
reporting prior, I am educated as a lawyer, but I'm not speaking as a lawyer right now,

because I have not read all this in the last couple of weeks, but they were not conspiring secretly to manipulate the market. They were openly talking about what they were doing, meaning anybody could have gotten in on it with them in this group.
So I do not think they were market manipulating in whatever the sort of things would be that would make it market manipulation. But yes, I think it's very close to market manipulation and could people claim that? And will people claim it? Big Cat, yeah, people yeah people will claim it for sure yes i look i'm on the small guy's side here i don't think that they did anything wrong i just know that the game is rigged the pause button was hit they're trying to figure it all out the the fat cats in wall street are basically going to figure it out going to blame the small guy going to going to make new rules like we already seen it i think robin hood even said oh Robinhood even said, like, oh, yeah, we're going to start letting you guys buy these stocks.
But with a cap, they're going to make new rules, and they're going to be like, all right, you guys can't win anymore. Fuck all of you.
But it's still capitalism. Nothing I've seen in my life tells me you're wrong about the way the system is going to try to work and who it's going to try to benefit here.
Unless the Robin,

unless the people making those investments in Robin hood suddenly become

really wealthy.

And then,

you know,

they're in the game.

They can be too.

And,

and you know,

then they'll just switch,

by the way,

they'll switch sides too.

Right.

That is what also happens.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No,

that,

that is going to be fascinating to watch how all that shit happens. So, but this is why it's so great to make a show about all this stuff yeah and the other side of billions is the district attorneys the southern district of new york you've got uh southern district first couple seasons and now it's the attorney general's office yeah so i i saw today that there are investigations that could be happening into this entire situation here but But if you're if you're writing about those people and how they're able to go about investigating this fraud, if they're if they're looking at market manipulation on the side of the hedge funds, like what do they have? What power do they have? Could they just be like, hey, this looks fishy.
So I'm going to ask you, did you tell anybody to do this or not? Well, the market manipulation would be on the side of the Robinhood investors, I think. And what you would say about the other people is that that's just like in shutting down Robinhood, I'm not sure what the cause of action is.
But yeah, it's like fraudulent collusion and depriving these people of their opportunity. I mean, you should have somebody call in and tell you what the cause of action against the institutional investors in Robinhood.
But I bet you that what they really did is broke their user agreements. I think it's really basic, right? Robinhood, if Robinhood shut down and stopped you from being able to trade in violation of the user agreement you signed, I think the damages against them in a civil case are fucking extraordinary, enormous damages.
Yeah. Yeah.
So they must have had, if that's indeed what happened, they must've had a lot of pressure being put on them from the other side to shut things down to realize like a class action lawsuit would be cheaper than the cost of letting these trades continue and having, you know, all the people that essentially do the real funding for our app shut us off.

Correct. I mean, that feels, I mean, it does feel like that's the shit that happened.

Yeah.

Well, I had one last question.

I mean, it's hard, right?

Yeah, go ahead.

Well, I mean, it does feel like that's the shit that happened. Yeah.
Well, I had one last. I mean, it's hard, right? Yeah, go ahead.
It's just a day of. It's hard to know.
If you wrote this, you did, you wrote, you know, the episode on Billions is very similar. But if you were to write a movie and you went to your script partner or Hollywood exec and you said, we're going to name the app Robin Hood, would you get laughed out of the room yes like it's way too on the nose i know everyone made the joke but it does bear repeating how ridiculous it is that robin hood steals from the rich and gives to the poor and these guys are just flipping everything on its head i mean i would say that if i weren't the guy whose show about billionaires is called fucking billions.
So I don't really have a leg to stand on.

You know what I mean?

Yeah,

that's true.

Yeah.

And also we're going to beat you with trillions.

So, um,

I,

right.

And then trillions is going to come along and make me completely,

um,

obsolete.

Uh,

I was actually just thinking that there should be,

no one's really gone on the side of the grift to be the one to go out

there and stand up for billionaires.

Like I haven't seen anybody become the public face of defending the fat cats. I feel like there's some money to be made there, too.
If like if this is the verbal meme, it's, you know, the the daughter that's sleeping at night and then the soldier taking bullets for it. And the daughter is billionaires.
And then the soldier is also billionaires. And then I'm next to the soldier licking its boots.
That's where there's some money to be made right now, I think, is defending the billionaires. So I might swing to the other side just to make a brand for myself.
This is your brilliance. I mean, this is why I'm here with the two of you right now, because that's the brilliance.
I also think that it's a big red flag to me that if somebody's a billionaire and they don't own a sports team, it's like, what are you doing? What has all this been for? What's the point? If you're not going to spend money on something cool. Or you're trying to go to Mars.
Yep. You're going to do one or the other.
Or build a tunnel to your girlfriend. Either a sports team or Mars.
Honestly, I think you guys are right. Though one billion isn't really necessarily...
A couple bills. You're right.
The show's not called Billion. That billion would suck.
It's harder now for a single... Like a billionaire who was worth one billion probably could have bought a sports team even when Mark Glasry bought the Bucs.
But I think he bought the Bucs for what? 500? And now they're worth like two bill? Yeah, maybe an HL team. Probably.
Yeah. Probably the hurt.
Yeah. Maybe an HL team.
Or like a lacrosse. Like a lacrosse.
Oh, we own a lacrosse team. Yeah.
We're just regular guys. We own lacrosse teams.
Yeah. So it's not a big deal.
That's a good investment. I would go in with you guys on a lacrosse team if you want.
All right. I had one last question.
What was the losing hand in rounders? That's really a good question. And here's the thing.
I will answer that question if somebody will post-date give me 100,000 shares of GameStop at yesterday's price. Okay.
There we go. Somebody out there make it happen.
Elon, I know you're a listener. Yeah, come on, Elon.
I think that's like 30 mil think that's like 30 mil for 30 mil I would that's your price 30 million I'll answer the question perfect perfect do a go fund me yeah yeah all right well thanks so much Brian appreciate it man fellas you're the best see ya all protein bars generally taste the same but not one bars one made protein bars are actually delicious with Reese's and Hershey's. Only one Reese's peanut butter lover's protein bar is made with Reese's peanut butter, and only one Hershey's cookies and cream protein bars is made with Hershey's cookie bits while delivering 18 grams of protein and 3 grams of sugar.
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Find all One bars at a retailer near you or on Amazon.com. Okay, Firefest of the the week let's do it uh you can't have guns in west virginia casinos okay good so we got that figured out i actually that was a very funny part of the show that's surprising to me i feel like if there's one place on earth that you should be required to carry a gun it would be in a west virginia casino yeah oh you cannot yeah you can't Oh, you can.
Oh, can't. So your trainer can.
By the way, we're not knocking your trainer. We're knocking just how ridiculous you are as a human being.
Also, aren't you flying? Yeah. No, I'm taking the bus with you guys.
Yeah, we'll see you on the bus, dude.

I'll save you spot.

Yeah, cool.

Yeah, just see you.

Billy, if I'm not on the bus when it's about to leave, just don't worry.

I'm underneath, so don't worry.

Just so you guys can go.

I got to go down for the weigh-in.

I know.

All right, Fyre Fest of the Week.

What do we got?

Who wants to start?

I'll go. All right.
My Fyre Fest of the Week is Dippin' Dots. I bought Dippin' Dots.
I bought like $400 worth of Dippin' Dots. DDO.
DDO. I'm heavily invested.
You bought the dip? I bought the dip. Oh, dude, you got a hold.
Well, I'm holding now. I already bought into the dip.
You buy the dip, then you hold. And the only problem with this is dip and dots are obviously delicious.
I love dip and dots. But now I did not realize that they were going to be shipped to me in these two industrial size, like two-gallon plastic bags that you have to keep at negative 40 degrees centigrade.
It's essentially like a vaccine. You have to store it like you're hanging on to the COVID vaccine or else it just melts.
And so I had to bring them all into work today and they just melted into a puddle within like two hours. So my investment- As ice cream does.
My investment- Yeah. It's the ice cream of the future, which is literally melted ice cream.
Now I realize that. You got shocked by ice cream- I got shocked.
Being ice cream. I didn't.
Well, no, I didn't because I thought- Negative 40 is crazy. I thought that I- And i and it's negative 40 fahrenheit i think yeah but it was in a styrofoam cooler eventually that runs out yeah but most most ice cream you take out of the cooler and then if you don't finish it all in one sitting you put it in the freezer and it's good to go our freezers don't get that low that's what i was saying it's like a vaccine it has to be stored in a very specific environment um So that's pretty much why Dippin' Dots never worked.
Yeah. That and also no one goes to amusement parks anymore.
But seriously, if you can't buy it and freeze it in your own freezer, then it doesn't work. No, but that's how they get you because it makes you always want more.
And every time that you see it, you're like, oh, my God, I got to get this. I might never be able to have it again.
I can't. Like the old meme, like we have D at home you go home and home dip and dots it's just a puddle of sad liquid in a plastic bag on the floor yes so um i guess i i don't want to say i wasted four hundred dollars on dip and dots no but uh it's the memories it's the memories we made along the way and um i learned a lesson which is dip Dots is a depreciating asset.
Yeah, absolutely.

Who was going next?

Bubba.

A couple of weeks ago, I ordered a new pair of shoes, kind of just like impulse bottom.

And I have a pair that looks like almost identical.

I don't know if I just forgot or something.

Yep.

If you like the original, I like to do.

Yeah, that's kind of what I was thinking.

It's a dad move. I like to do that But also it's like donks

And they literally make them in every single color

And I bought a pair that's almost identical

To one that I have

I buy the same pair of shoes

If I like a pair, I'll just buy it again

You know what?

Now you have one that's clean all the time

One you can wear to work

And then one for special occasions

One for play, one for party billy what do you got i had to take an hiv hep c and you have a test yeah but no that's the thing like when you take the test you're like i don't have it but then there's part of you that's just like yo there there is a chance every time you take a test. Yeah.
So what'd they say? What? So I'm negative. I'm negative.
Okay. Well, yeah.
Frogs don't carry HIV. So yeah, you're in the clear on that.
No, but it's just like, have you ever gotten a test for HIV? Yeah. I mean, isn't it just an STD test? No, no, it's not.
You get some blood tests. I mean, I had to do it for the boxing, but it just like nerve wracking Right, because you were like Hypothetically So your fire test is you don't have AIDS So if Billy took a pregnancy test He'd be like, am I pregnant? Yeah, there's always a chance He did not dispute that, PFT What was the outcome, Billy? Well, the thing is I think some can't piss on a pregnancy test and it comes up with a false positive okay like i think that is a thing i think that's a sign of cancer oh okay yeah yeah sure believe it or not not a doctor add it again no i'm serious no we know you're serious that part we know it's the okay none of it's actually true there's always there's always a pot like I don't know, imagine if I got a false positive.
That'd be, like, fucking scary. Right.
For pregnancy? Yeah. Okay.
Jake? Over the last 24 hours, I can't stop shocking myself. Whoa.
Why? Because you keep listening to yourself swearing? No. I mean, I was just sitting on the couch.
You do push-ups or something? We were working from home this week, and I just sit on the couch. Everything I touch, I just shock myself.
Are you an X-Man? It's annoying. You have a crazy rug? No.
I don't know. Okay.
I think there's... It's shock season is what it is.
It is. I used to be very scared that every time I would get out of my car and fill up with gas, that I would ignite the side of my car with an electric shock.
On Wednesday, maybe I shocked the world with my words. Yes.
Oh. You know what you need to do? What I do is I just wear rubber socks everywhere.
Rubber socks. Mm-hmm.
Yeah. How much do I have to donate to watch Jake do three chi on camera? Billy's already spending his money.
Billy, how much of your money have you spent? How much have you spent? I don't spend any money, really. Yeah, okay.
Hank, you're FireFest. My FireFest is plug-related, so I'll give you this chance to opt out if you want.
No, we're opting in. Play Barstool.
All right, so Play Barstool, we're coming out with a – I gave you a chance. I gave you a chance, but this is – I thought you were going to say weed, like weed plug-related.
No, no. I mean, I gave you the chance.
This is a legitimate FireFest, though. It's not like me plugging just a plug.
Oh, of course not. So we – no, I mean, I do do that.
I gave you the chance. This is a legitimate Fyre Fest, though.
It's not like me plugging just a plug.

Oh, of course not.

No, I mean, I do do that.

I gave you the opportunity.

Sometimes I do it.

Sometimes this is actually what, like, my biggest Fyre Fest of the week.

Davey Day Trader, our boss, he does a daily stream.

We built a Davey Day Trader play Barstool game.

It's ready.

We were talking about launching it this week, but we postponed it to next week. week so it's like we're going to be promoting it during the fight and stuff and then today because of all the stuff that was going on today was supposed to be like like the first day that it aired and launched and was talked about and dave had like 45 000 people watching him this morning and like 30 000 people watching him today it's uh you're uh you're hom Homer Simpson selling your pumpkin futures in mid-November.
Yeah. So that was just one of those things.
I saw those numbers. I was just like, fuck.
Like, that's obviously not going to be the case, you know, next week when it launches. But it was just, you know, that's my fire.
You never know, though. You never know.
Word on the street is Dave and Busters might be popping next week. True.
Yeah. I mean, you got to admit, that's's a fair Fyre Fest.
Yeah. No, that is a very fair Fyre Fest.
It was. I saw his stream.
It was fucking crazy. It would have been nice for him to, like, in the middle of that, be like, hey, go download the app.
Were you furiously texting him? No. God, no.
All right. My Fyre Fest is that it just dawned on me this week that we should be heading to Tampa on Sunday, but we're not.
It just sucks. Because Super Bowl week is always one of the highlights of the year, not only because it's fun to be somewhere a little warmer, except for the year we went to Minnesota, but it's also like there's definitely a group of people that we don't see all year long, and then we see them during the Super Bowl.
So, that sucks. Dan Marino.
Dan Marino. Yeah.
Urban Meyer that one time. It's always great to sit down next to, like, I don't know, like Vinny Testaverde talking to you about Firestone Tires for 30 minutes.
I miss it. I do.
I miss it. There's something nice about Super Bowl week.
And also, it's the one time a year that we get to do – we get to feel like we're in real world when we show up to the house the first day look oh this place is sick and then we remember that like 45 people are sleeping on the floor and we were going to get kicked well we were actually going to sneak into media day this year by building like an army of people that look like us yes the robot army yeah fuck yeah you could just send me as the real big Okay, Jay, cool. Cool that you get credentials.
You think they would kick me out? No, probably not. Because they'd be like, what is he going to do? Ask him, like, what's your plans? How do you think the big game's going to go? No, you forgot the talk about.
Yeah, talk about the big game. No, they would definitely not kick you out.
I think they would know. They'd hire you.
They'd be like, wait, is that Jake from part of my take? Like, yeah, he's, he's, what is he going to do? He doesn't even swear. Yeah.
Yeah. No, you would, you would definitely go.
It would be actually, actually, you know what? That's what we're doing next year. Sending Jake? Yeah.
And just having him be a regular reporter. We could do that.
Totally owning them. Be like, we got our fucking exclusive, idiots.
I think Jake and Billy together.

Yes.

No.

Billy would get kicked out.

Yeah.

Instantly.

But why would they kick me out?

Because you're Billy.

You would speak.

What would they think I would do?

Billy, you asked an NBA finals player.

How does it feel to be the first loser at three different levels?

Yeah.

That's right.

Yes.

Oh, man.

All right. Numbers.
10. 99.
That's right. Oh, man.
Alright, numbers.

Eight. Nine.
Nine.

Eighteen. Twenty.

How many days have we done this?

I have a list.

Yeah, no, it's incredible that we haven't gotten it right.

Only Liam and... Oh, no.

41. 41, great.
Good.

The wins are new.

Love you guys.

See you on Monday. Oh, wait, wait, wait.

Wales, you can fit six people in a Wales agenda.

Sick. Sick.
Today is a lot of days to find you Shine it away I'll be coming for your love of dreams Shine it away I'll be coming for your love of dreams Needless to say The ups and downs But I'll be somewhere that I'll wait Slowly learning that life is okay Sing it to me Thank you. I'm going to be here.
All the things I can say

Is it awful

Just to play my words away

You're all the things I've got to remember

Are you shining away?

Are we coming for you anyway?

Are you shining away?

Are we coming for you anyway. You're shining a light.
I'll be coming for you anyway.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. It's Pardon My Take presented by Barstool Sports.