Keegan Michael Key, Stocks With Brian Koppelman, And Fyre Fest Of The Week

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Speaker 11 On today's part of my take, a two-fer for the people, we have the very, very talented Keegan Michael Key.

Speaker 12 Talking about his new podcast about comedy, he breaks down what comedy actually, where it came from,

Speaker 15 what makes us laugh.

Speaker 16 Yeah, he solved the ancient riddle of which came first. It's like chicken and the egg, the fart joke or the getting hit in the nuts joke.
It was the fart joke.

Speaker 18 But he explains it. Spoiler.

Speaker 19 Well, he explains it, and it's very, very funny.

Speaker 10 He actually tells it.

Speaker 16 I'm addicted to spoiling episodes of part of my TV.

Speaker 12 I mean, it was very funny when he told it.

Speaker 19 So you got to, I mean, sometimes you got to give the people a little something to be like, oh, you think they're going to turn it off?

Speaker 16 You better not.

Speaker 8 You think they're going to be like, oh, shit, it was a fart joke?

Speaker 16 Yeah, the people that are all the nuttap stands out there.

Speaker 23 No, it was a very good interview.

Speaker 24 Very funny guy.

Speaker 26 And then we have our good friend, Brian Coppel.

Speaker 9 I said that during it.

Speaker 27 Brian Koppelman.

Speaker 15 I always do that where I say it in my head.

Speaker 19 Don't fuck it up, don't fuck it up.

Speaker 27 And then I fuck it up too much.

Speaker 9 Yeah, it's like Brian Koppelman.

Speaker 13 Yeah, and then you come in two seconds.

Speaker 8 Brian Koppelman, creator of billions, he actually had an episode that was essentially what happened today in Wall Street and Robin Hood and all that.

Speaker 30 So we talked to him.

Speaker 8 He actually explains it to us very well.

Speaker 31 Like, I love talking to a guy like that who's clearly smarter than us, but also not trying to bog us down with the nitty-gritty details.

Speaker 9 He talks to us like we're five.

Speaker 16 The only thing I don't like is he will not baselessly speculate on things until he's read up about it. It's like, come on.

Speaker 16 This is the podcasting space. You need to make bold declarations that you're ignorant about.

Speaker 32 Yeah, so we have both those.

Speaker 12 We have Fire Fest of the week. We're going to have a nice Friday show taking you into the weekend, taking you into Super Bowl week.

Speaker 33 We already have a member of one of the Super Bowl teams ready to go for Monday's show.

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Speaker 34 Look at the Hannah, Lord Washington,

Speaker 34 and then I can't name all on the sun. Oh no, we're gonna rock down to Electric Ivanu.

Speaker 34 And then we'll make it higher.

Speaker 34 We're gonna rock down to Elite Trick Ivanu.

Speaker 9 It's part of my take presented by Bar School Sports.

Speaker 6 Welcome to Part of My Take presented by Cash Act.

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Speaker 2 Today is Friday, January 29th.

Speaker 31 And this may be the last episode of Part of My Take ever because you are now listening to not one, myself, not two, PFT, not three, Liam, Bubba, not four, Jake, not five, Hank, not six, Billy, six millionaires who have gotten rich off of Dogecoin, GameStop, and Amazon, or no, AMC, and Nokia in the last 24 hours.

Speaker 27 We're going to retire.

Speaker 12 Don't forget about the track ball.

Speaker 16 Blackberry's makes you come back, too.

Speaker 14 Goodbye, everyone.

Speaker 27 If Hot Topic was

Speaker 16 Hot Topic was a stock, if Pacific Sun were, I'm in on all the mall stocks. We're fucking rich.
Circuit City, I know it went out of business. There's got to be a way I can get in that.

Speaker 16 I'm shorting Robin Hood, though, when they eventually go live.

Speaker 23 I don't know what...

Speaker 3 I do know what's happening, but I also don't fully know what's happening because I'm not what you call smart.

Speaker 31 But it has been a hilarious day and a half.

Speaker 18 The little guys fighting back.

Speaker 31 The big fat cats on Wall Street are getting their comeuppance.

Speaker 16 You know what they're doing? They're heading for the hills.

Speaker 9 They are. They're going.

Speaker 9 You know what we're doing?

Speaker 11 You know what we're doing?

Speaker 16 We're circling the wagons.

Speaker 9 We're holding the line. Yeah.
I don't know. Yeah, we're holding it.
Hold on.

Speaker 16 The line of wagons.

Speaker 17 Yes, we're holding it.

Speaker 27 Billy.

Speaker 23 Now

Speaker 23 millionaire Billy.

Speaker 38 Blockbuster, bro. It was one cent when I talked about it last time.

Speaker 12 It is now seven cents.

Speaker 27 What? Let's go.

Speaker 9 Just, I called it. You did.

Speaker 14 You called it.

Speaker 9 Billy is a blockbuster millionaire.

Speaker 16 I am long in Dogecoin, though.

Speaker 16 I have had a number of assets that have been parked in Dogecoin, excuse me, in the Doge space for a while now. So after six months, I think I'm up like 700%.

Speaker 16 And the brilliant thing about that is it doesn't exist. It's not a thing.
But I put money into an account, and then now there's a guy that's like, hey, your money is worth 700% more now. Yeah.

Speaker 16 Stock gambling kicks at it.

Speaker 12 I don't think any of us have actually made any real money off of these last 24 hours, but it's fun to speculate what it would be like if we had, because that is just fun.

Speaker 31 And I love the idea that we maybe have a couple future, maybe more than a couple, future millionaires based off GameStop or Dogecoin.

Speaker 37 Like, this is what tickles my fancy.

Speaker 1 Well, it's that we can, the, the idea, we're going to make the funniest class of millionaires ever.

Speaker 13 Bitcoin too.

Speaker 24 Like, Bitcoin, Dogecoin, GameStop, AMC.

Speaker 9 I need the quote-unquote trolls of the internet.

Speaker 40 That's not what I'm calling them.

Speaker 13 That's what the fat cats are calling of them.

Speaker 12 To be the power players and shift the entire dynamic.

Speaker 3 And like, guess what's going to become legal again?

Speaker 33 Vaping.

Speaker 33 We're also going to.

Speaker 16 Dude, mango jewel pods. Yeah.
Buying stonkas and those.

Speaker 27 Right.

Speaker 32 Jankos will be back.

Speaker 21 Fuck yeah.

Speaker 9 I mean, I'm party.

Speaker 16 I've been holding the line on Jinkos for years now.

Speaker 9 Yes.

Speaker 8 Like, I want all this shit to come back.

Speaker 16 No, it's awesome. And it's really no different than if you look back like 100 years, 150 years, the oil boom.
you get a shitload of new money, right?

Speaker 16 These are the people in the Titanic that were being looked down upon by the old money. And guess what? These, the Reddit millionaires are going to be fucking hilarious.

Speaker 16 They're going to be like Jerry Jones,

Speaker 16 he's a Reddit millionaire, excuse me, Reddit billionaire. He just happened to be born like 70 years before Reddit was invented.

Speaker 12 Yeah, think about it this way. Like Rockefeller, John Rockefeller.

Speaker 26 Well, guess what?

Speaker 18 A new Rockefeller was born today, and his name's Troy, and he lives in South Tampa.

Speaker 9 Hell yeah. Fuck yes.
Let's go.

Speaker 16 I love how Ja Rule is getting involved in this, too. Yeah, no.

Speaker 27 Ja Rule was mad.

Speaker 16 Ja Rule was like, yo, this is a fucking crime what Robin Hood is doing. Do not sell.
Hold the line. What the fuck? Ja Rule.
And it's become like a Chappelle sketch brought to life.

Speaker 16 I saw this one dude. I don't know where they find these fat, old, sweaty, grumpy billionaires.
They all look like they're like ink drawings from a Hunter S.

Speaker 16 Thompson novel, but they just roll them out of bed and they roll their greasy faces onto CNBC. And this dude was complaining that he lost like a a little bit of money.

Speaker 16 He's not as rich as he was yesterday. And then the crying at the bottom of the screen said like, Ja Rule says all these guys are frauds.
It's like, fuck yes. That's that rules actually.

Speaker 29 They do have a factory of those guys who all live in like the, you know, either Long Island or Montclair, New Jersey, or like somewhere in Connecticut.

Speaker 9 They all have the exact same blue shirts, and they're all

Speaker 16 the Robert Kraft white collar on the blue shirt.

Speaker 8 They might not have hemophilia, but someone in their family does.

Speaker 18 They definitely have gout.

Speaker 33 It's the gout crew.

Speaker 16 Undiagnosed type 2 diabetes.

Speaker 14 Yeah, and they just roll them out to talk down to the little guy and be like, this is wrong.

Speaker 3 This isn't how financial markets should work.

Speaker 14 Fuck you.

Speaker 16 I'm staying a little bit woke on it because these guys are too perfect.

Speaker 33 You know?

Speaker 16 Like, it kind of rules that if you're old and fat and rich enough, they'll just put you on television to be the most hateable person. But when I look at them,

Speaker 16 it's like too easy of a mark for me to hate.

Speaker 8 I just feel like I'm being manipulated.

Speaker 12 I'm just all in for anything that has our generation and the generation younger than us just kicking the shit out of baby boomers up and down the field.

Speaker 8 Because that, it's been, we've gotten the shit kicked out of us.

Speaker 15 It's time for us to start scoring a couple touchdowns, running up the score a little bit.

Speaker 32 And I know, I know it's rigged.

Speaker 20 I know this isn't going to stand.

Speaker 33 They're going to figure out a way to fuck it over. They'll fuck everyone over.

Speaker 15 And all the little guys are going to be screwed out of all their money.

Speaker 33 But today was a fun day on the internet because it felt like the tables had turned and everything had flipped for a second.

Speaker 40 Except for the fact that Robin Hood just shut down all their trading and ruined it for everyone and all the hedge funds to save their money.

Speaker 16 Six words, two different phrases.

Speaker 27 Hold the line. We're holding the line, right?

Speaker 16 And then to the moon. If you say to the moon enough, you'll be a billionaire eventually.
Yep.

Speaker 9 We're not leaving.

Speaker 25 It's been a big day for just tweeting any random wolf of Wall Street.

Speaker 29 We're still here. Even though that guy went to jail.

Speaker 9 We're still leaving. But yeah, we're not leaving.

Speaker 9 They need to bring retweets.

Speaker 3 You know what?

Speaker 33 Bring back Kwaludes. Yeah.

Speaker 16 I'm just going to say it.

Speaker 16 JFK said to the moon, though, too. They shot his head off.

Speaker 32 That's true. Yeah.

Speaker 12 So be careful.

Speaker 37 I just got addicted to the retweets because if you just retweeted anything, that was like,

Speaker 11 it was.

Speaker 25 You could just yell anything.

Speaker 33 It was like a super drunk party where you could be like, USA, just fuck Robin Hood.

Speaker 9 And everyone's like, yeah, dude, fuck yeah.

Speaker 14 You're on our side.

Speaker 42 I am on your side.

Speaker 8 But I also was addicted to the retweets.

Speaker 25 I'll admit that.

Speaker 16 In a weird way, it's kind of like it is bringing everybody together. And it doesn't matter if you're on the left or on the right.

Speaker 16 I think that there's like probably 50 people that we're all pissed off, that all of America is mad at right now. And it's actually great to have a common enemy.

Speaker 16 I was saying that the only way that the USA could come back together and like all pull on the same side is if aliens came down to Earth and started a war with us.

Speaker 16 Then we'd all be like, yeah, fuck you. We'll fight against you.
I take that back. It's actually better just to have these sweaty weirdos and suspenders on TV that we can all get mad at.

Speaker 16 And Bub and I were talking about this earlier today. today, but do you think that

Speaker 16 do you think that today has been like the most active day on Twitter in the last year?

Speaker 24 No, probably Election Day or the day that the Capitol was stormed. Yeah.

Speaker 21 That felt pretty active.

Speaker 16 Yeah, that was pretty active too. But you should be able to bet on that.
Yeah. And when Twitter is going to be most active.
Yeah.

Speaker 17 That would actually be good. Yeah.

Speaker 44 I also, I think it's kind of funny when everyone is saying like the rich is stealing from the poor right now, but like them referring to the poor is like you said, like guys named Troy who are probably look just like me and and are like 24 years old.

Speaker 9 They're real poor.

Speaker 27 Yeah, they put like 200 bucks in GameStop.

Speaker 9 Right. Yeah.

Speaker 31 The real poor people are like, wait, what the fuck?

Speaker 9 Yeah, they're not very highly leveraged.

Speaker 16 Yeah, and you're officially part of the proletariat if you went to a state school.

Speaker 10 Yeah. I don't know.

Speaker 19 This state was fucking fun. It was fun.

Speaker 36 It was just fun to watch on Twitter.

Speaker 11 It's fun to watch any of the people who like have.

Speaker 40 I just imagine Wall Street is just a big room that only a few people are allowed to go to, and it's just big levers, and they just hit it over and over.

Speaker 23 Like, oh, print more money for us, print more money.

Speaker 33 Oh, hedge fund, boom, more money for us.

Speaker 23 So to have the levers break.

Speaker 9 Yeah, pretty much.

Speaker 12 It's pretty much the, it's the overtime lever.

Speaker 33 It's just the print more money.

Speaker 32 Oh, it's a quarterly again.

Speaker 8 We need to pay out our investors. Print more money.

Speaker 29 So for that to stop for one second was kind of fucking funny.

Speaker 16 It would be pretty hilarious if we reenacted Occupy Wall Street. If there was like Occupy Wall Street 2.0.

Speaker 24 But just online so we didn't have to get off our couch?

Speaker 16 Either that or it was just like a bunch of just middle class people that went down there. Kind of like Woodstock when they revamped Woodstock.
And the second time

Speaker 16 it turns into like a big corporate event where you've got like a MasterCard stand set up to sign you up for a credit card in exchange for like a Philly's Blunt t-shirt. Yep.

Speaker 16 That'd be sick if we just all had like a middle-class Occupy session down there.

Speaker 32 Yes, yes.

Speaker 9 All right, so we're going to talk about it more with Brian

Speaker 27 Koppelman. Koppelman.

Speaker 15 Brian Koppelman in a minute. He explains it all.

Speaker 12 Billy, congrats on being rich on Blockbuster.

Speaker 9 We're all rich.

Speaker 12 We're going to to talk a little sports in a second.

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Speaker 45 Deshaun Watson.

Speaker 38 Well, let me back up.

Speaker 6 The Texans have a new head coach.

Speaker 25 It is David Culley, who you might remember from such hits as the Baltimore Ravens passing game.

Speaker 10 these last couple years. Yeah.

Speaker 31 Dynamic. And also

Speaker 41 the year that the Kansas City Chiefs had zero touchdowns thrown to wide receivers. Now, their wide receivers weren't great, but

Speaker 32 he was the wide receiver still.

Speaker 16 They did have Dwayne Bow at the time. They did have Dwayne Boe.
Duane Bow was good. But yeah, that was

Speaker 16 65. It was the Alex Smith days.
So my favorite conspiracy is that I'm seeing this report as being a stopgap to get them to Josh McCowan as their head coach. Oh.
Because they interviewed old Joshy Boy

Speaker 16 as the head coach. They were like, we might give this to Josh.
They're saying that David Culley is going to be the interim head coach. Maybe they've accepted having Deshaun Watson walk out the door.

Speaker 16 And then when they need to rebuild the franchise, you get Drago immediately in the door. And to me, that's a Jack Easterby because I know that Josh McCown, he's a big not jacking off guy.

Speaker 16 Jack Easterby, when he was like meeting with the McNairs, he was like, let's pray for a next head coach. I feel like Josh McCown is that guy.

Speaker 3 Yes, absolutely.

Speaker 19 Because, I mean, yeah,

Speaker 29 you end up on a plane to Omaha. You thought you were going to Detroit.

Speaker 17 I'm looking at his resume right now, and I'll give him a benefit of the doubt, whatever.

Speaker 19 Good luck to him. I'm not rooting against him.

Speaker 10 But a red flag, I'll throw it out there.

Speaker 8 He was a wide receivers coach in the NFL

Speaker 18 from 1994.

Speaker 8 Just wide receivers. That's the only thing he coached.
1994 to 2010.

Speaker 22 It feels like a long time to be a wide receivers coach and not get a promotion.

Speaker 16 So he's an expert. He's an expert.

Speaker 16 He's a wide receiver whisperer. He is.

Speaker 16 With wide receivers like Hollywood Brown.

Speaker 16 And that's about it. I'm trying to think of any other good wide receiver.
Des Bryant?

Speaker 8 Des Bryant. Oh, no, he was a wide receiver for the Eagles.
So Fred X.

Speaker 9 Okay. Yeah, great.

Speaker 37 He did that. T.O.?

Speaker 16 T.O., that ended up really.

Speaker 3 He made T.O.

Speaker 22 kept that team together.

Speaker 8 That's what you need.

Speaker 32 Is when you hire a guy like this, you need to have one claim to fame.

Speaker 8 He made T.O. T.O., even though T.O.

Speaker 28 was very much T.O.

Speaker 12 before you got to the Eagles.

Speaker 16 Is there a quarterback that's demanded a trade that's been at the stature of Deshaun Watson in history?

Speaker 16 Jay Cutler.

Speaker 17 Jay Cutler. Jay Cutler.

Speaker 9 Jay Cutler was a Pro Bowler.

Speaker 18 No, I mean, it's been, yeah, it's been, I don't think so.

Speaker 8 It's,

Speaker 31 I'm trying to think of, like, I'm going through in my memory the, I mean, Brett Favre was a lot older.

Speaker 3 Matt Stafford right now is obviously going to be traded.

Speaker 33 Jay Cutler.

Speaker 16 That's Jay Cutler, I think. Jay Cutler.

Speaker 12 Drew Bledsoe when Tom Brady took over, got traded.

Speaker 18 Yeah, I mean, it's not like a long, long list of guys because

Speaker 16 Peyton Manning, Peyton Manning, he got created.

Speaker 9 Create every release of it. Right, right, right.

Speaker 31 So, yeah, it's not a long list of guys.

Speaker 18 Deshaun Watson definitely is the youngest, best of that group.

Speaker 33 I don't know. What do you give for him?

Speaker 28 That's the thing, too, is I saw the Bears.

Speaker 33 There was a tweet that was like, the Bears are planning on being heavily interested in Deshaun Watson.

Speaker 19 Okay, like, and I want to have a six-pack.

Speaker 12 What about this?

Speaker 27 Like, what the fuck are you talking about, Bears?

Speaker 16 What about this? What about Matt Stafford for Deshaun Watson and like two first-round picks?

Speaker 33 God, that would suck for Matt Stafford so bad. Yeah.

Speaker 9 Jesus Christ. That would suck for

Speaker 9 Deshaun Watson so bad. Yeah, everyone loses.

Speaker 8 Yeah, I don't know what it's going to take to get him.

Speaker 16 Well, he's got a no-trade clause, too, so he can kind of pick his destination a little bit.

Speaker 8 I guess a lot of...

Speaker 37 It would be such a.

Speaker 33 The Bears would do it too because they would give up like four first-rounders.

Speaker 13 Like, well, you could have just picked them, but no, you've, you, you, and then that's the thing is, it's a very odd thing for Deshaun Watson to be, to demand a trade knowing how much it will take to be, to, to get, like, his services.

Speaker 8 So you're essentially saying, I want to be traded to a team that then will give up a bunch of draft capital and then hurt my ability to play for a winning team.

Speaker 27 In a way.

Speaker 8 Like, he's almost kind of, he's kind of shitting in his own house and then buying the house.

Speaker 16 He must really hate Houston.

Speaker 8 Yeah, but don't you, don't you think, like, if you're a team that has to trade, let's call it three first rounders, that's a lot.

Speaker 36 Like that is a lot in terms of impact players that mean something to the cornerstone of your franchise.

Speaker 25 Like when you're drafting, when you're giving up, you know, if you look at teams that are successful in the NFL, they don't go many years without missing a first rounder, whether they're picking or they're not.

Speaker 25 When you look at teams that are just abject failures, it usually can be like number one point be like, oh, yeah, they missed three first rounders in a row.

Speaker 3 Yeah, Yeah, but they sucked.

Speaker 16 There's no shortage of teams out there that will convince themselves that they're one quarterback away.

Speaker 27 Right.

Speaker 8 I'm just saying, it's a very interesting dynamic because he is kind of ruining his own house before he gets there.

Speaker 16 Yeah, but I think he's good enough where it won't really be that much of an issue if he can find a team that he likes. And I think.

Speaker 9 A smart franchise.

Speaker 16 Yeah, smart franchise. But then when you look at smart franchises, not that many of them will be in the market for a quarterback.

Speaker 29 And not many of them will do a trade where it's a lot of draft picks for a quarterback.

Speaker 31 Like, Deshaun Watson is an incredible talent.

Speaker 12 Deshaun Watson is worth a lot.

Speaker 9 There is a point where you're fucking yourself over, and you're like, why would we trade for this guy with four first-round picks?

Speaker 41 I don't know if that's what it is, but if you're like, hey, I wouldn't do it for four first-round picks, would you?

Speaker 16 Me personally, yeah.

Speaker 11 You would? Yeah.

Speaker 30 No chance.

Speaker 5 You could draft a quarterback.

Speaker 8 I think that you would be screwing yourself so royally over for the future if you give up four first-round picks.

Speaker 16 I'm in win-now mode, though, big cat.

Speaker 16 But the championship window, and you got to hit the window.

Speaker 12 And then you got to pay him, too.

Speaker 8 I mean, I know he's got a big contract, but you got to pay him.

Speaker 37 I wouldn't do it for four.

Speaker 16 I would do it for unlimited. Name your price, is what I would do.
Seven? Seven, sure. No.
I'll give you my next seven.

Speaker 33 Okay, I would love to do a deal with you.

Speaker 29 I don't, is there a rule in terms of like how many first-round picks I think we can give up?

Speaker 19 I think Sean McVay has gotten up to that limit.

Speaker 32 That's true.

Speaker 16 Yeah,

Speaker 9 they had to Robin Hood him.

Speaker 11 They'd be like, hey, dude, you can't keep

Speaker 37 every single pick.

Speaker 15 All right.

Speaker 8 Anything else?

Speaker 16 I hope he just goes. I hope he stays in Houston for a little bit just so we can get another six months of Photoshops.

Speaker 9 Yeah.

Speaker 32 Yeah. I mean the Photoshops are great.

Speaker 16 I want to, what is the, what's the prevailing like thought for how much it will take to get just how much I think it's probably like three first rounders in a like or two and two.

Speaker 8 Two first rounders, two second rounders.

Speaker 16 I don't have my draft value chart in front of me.

Speaker 9 I think there are eight

Speaker 16 trades where the two first rounders were involved for a player.

Speaker 9 Okay. You want to relist them?

Speaker 47 Khalil Mack to Chicago.

Speaker 15 That jury's out. Like, I mean,

Speaker 8 obviously, the Bears' defense is great, but it does hurt that they don't have first-round picks.

Speaker 29 I would do that again, probably.

Speaker 47 Laramie Tunsall to Houston from the Dolphins.

Speaker 31 Wouldn't do that again

Speaker 9 if you're the Texans.

Speaker 32 Yeah. Definitely wouldn't do that again.

Speaker 15 So let's call it one for one.

Speaker 9 We're going to call it one for one. But they knew the Khalil Mack treatment.

Speaker 16 But they might because they might get those picks back.

Speaker 9 No, no, but that doesn't count.

Speaker 16 I'm just saying. No, no, that's not.

Speaker 16 You rented Deshaun Watson and Laramie Tunsall together for a year.

Speaker 33 No, that doesn't count.

Speaker 47 This was July 7th, 27th, 2020. So if something something happened this year, it's not on here.
Ricky Williams to Miami, 2002.

Speaker 9 No, probably would not.

Speaker 16 Although the Wildcat was sweet.

Speaker 47 Yeah. Jamal Adams to Seattle this year.

Speaker 8 Definitely wouldn't do that again. Uh-huh.

Speaker 21 Jay Color. Although

Speaker 16 you have to take into account that if you're the Jets and you have more first-round picks, that's giving more fireworks to JPP. You're going to screw those up.
It's best if you don't have them.

Speaker 32 The color one I actually might.

Speaker 28 We gave up Kyle Orton as well.

Speaker 18 I would, I don't know.

Speaker 32 It didn't work out, but I also,

Speaker 31 for two first-round picks.

Speaker 29 All right, let's just get that in. Like, you got the NFC championship, right?

Speaker 11 Right.

Speaker 12 And I mean, the defense was still good for a first round.

Speaker 47 And you got Johnny Knox out of it with the bad.

Speaker 9 And he did, and he did

Speaker 12 break his thumb on the team that I thought was the best Cutler team when he was playing his best ball.

Speaker 8 So I would, yeah, I'd do that again, actually.

Speaker 20 I remember being so excited. I was in my Avalon RIP

Speaker 20 and just being like, whoa, this is sick.

Speaker 47 Jalen Ramsey to the Rams.

Speaker 27 Okay.

Speaker 16 Jury's out, I guess.

Speaker 8 Yeah, I guess the Rams, the Rams might do that again.

Speaker 16 Okay. I think the football team also gave up essentially that much to get the second pick to take RG3.

Speaker 47 Keyshawn Johnson to the Bucs.

Speaker 29 Okay, that didn't, that wasn't, they won with defense.

Speaker 30 Like, they didn't win with Keyshawn Johnson.

Speaker 47 And then Joey Galloway to Dallas in 2000.

Speaker 16 Yeah, it's really never worked out, hasn't it?

Speaker 3 Right. That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 8 And we're talking about two picks, not three picks. Like, I just think there's there's a point where

Speaker 14 I would do it for two.

Speaker 32 I don't know if I'd go more than three.

Speaker 12 I'd do it for two and maybe a couple second rounders.

Speaker 14 This is different, though, because it's happening now.

Speaker 8 You know what I would want to do is I'd want to minimize the hurt to as small a window as possible.

Speaker 31 So I'd be like, hey, we'll give you our first, second, and third rounder this year and a first rounder next year.

Speaker 9 Okay.

Speaker 8 So it's like the future, you know, in three years now, we have all of our picks back.

Speaker 31 So you're kind of hurting yourself for maybe this little small period. I think any team that trades a consistent amount of picks for the future, like you're really, like, look at the Texans this year.

Speaker 24 They're kind of fucked themselves.

Speaker 16 Now, do they do cash considerations in the NFL ever? Like, what if the team was like, we'll give you two first-round picks and we'll pay half of J.J. Watts' remaining salary?

Speaker 16 Okay. I could see a franchise like the Texans, like a cheapish franchise that might not have all their shit together in front office, just being like, toss in Brock Osweiler and we're good to go.

Speaker 12 Well, it would be interesting. You know, the Cutler trade, Orton was thrown in.

Speaker 29 Obviously, Kyle Orton, I love him, but he wasn't a franchise quarterback.

Speaker 37 But you could throw in, like, if you're the Jets, you could be like, we'll trade you Sam Darnold.

Speaker 8 You know what I mean?

Speaker 24 Sam Darnold in two firsts.

Speaker 37 I don't know.

Speaker 12 At least gives the Texans a jumping off point for what their future might be.

Speaker 16 Yeah, or a head coach.

Speaker 9 Or a head coach. Andy Reid.
Or GM.

Speaker 16 Andy Reid to the Texans. They keep the enemy.

Speaker 16 Texans send Deshaun Watson, and

Speaker 16 the Texans take Patrick Mahomes. Would you trade, if you were the Kansas City Chiefs, would you trade Patrick Mahomes for Deshaun Watson

Speaker 16 if the Texans also threw in three first-round picks?

Speaker 21 Wait, say it again.

Speaker 16 Deshaun Watson for Patrick Mahomes. Yep.
The Chiefs also get three first-round picks from the Texans.

Speaker 9 No. Okay, bold.

Speaker 21 I wouldn't trade Patrick Mahomes for anything. Nothing?

Speaker 9 I mean,

Speaker 17 you're pretty much guaranteeing that you're going to the AFC Championship game for the next 15 years.

Speaker 8 I know. I I actually had this thought the other day.

Speaker 3 Do you think, do you think, maybe not every time, but do you think Ryan Pace has at some point shed a tear while watching Patrick Mahomes?

Speaker 32 Just a little cry.

Speaker 16 What kind of card does he draw?

Speaker 8 I definitely would cry.

Speaker 32 Because we all joke, like, you know, everyone makes a joke at Bears fans' expense.

Speaker 3 Oh, you could have had Patrick Mahomes.

Speaker 18 Well, let's be honest.

Speaker 14 I couldn't have done anything. Ryan Pace literally could have done something.

Speaker 8 Do you think he cry?

Speaker 14 I would cry a little bit.

Speaker 35 He probably has.

Speaker 16 Just probably, yeah, in a moment of truth.

Speaker 3 Like, maybe his wife walks in and he's just like, no, it's just Dusty in here.

Speaker 17 You know, like, oh, it must be allergy season. Yeah.

Speaker 19 But it seems like allergy season only happens when Patrick Mahomes is in the playoffs.

Speaker 16 Do you think that John Gruden is looking at Deshaun Watson? A little bit. Because this is like a wet dream for John.
Yeah.

Speaker 9 Yeah.

Speaker 8 Man, it's going to be fun. It is the weirdest.

Speaker 12 We have Deshaun Watson, Matt Stafford, Phillip Rivers, hopefully if he comes back out of retirement.

Speaker 36 Jameis Winston, Mitch Trubisky,

Speaker 9 a a lot of Pro Bowl quarterbacks out there. Yep.
A lot of Pro Bowlbacks. All those guys are great.

Speaker 16 Yeah, it's going to be a wild offseason.

Speaker 16 It's going to be one of those things where next year there are going to be so many quarterbacks in new places and so many first-time head coaches, coaching teams. Yeah.

Speaker 16 I think there are like seven first-time head coaches that are going to be leading teams next year.

Speaker 16 The guy from the Eagles, I like his story because he basically got hired for his first coaching job because Todd Haley saw him wearing a Mountain Union shirt at the YMCA.

Speaker 21 Right. And Todd Haley.

Speaker 16 How come no one's talked about Todd Haley this offseason?

Speaker 12 We should get him back in the season.

Speaker 16 Todd Haley has a proven track record of success everywhere he goes.

Speaker 36 Yes, we should get him back in there.

Speaker 13 Absolutely.

Speaker 37 All right. Should we do, let's do, who do we do first?

Speaker 8 Keegan Michael Key? Sure.

Speaker 42 Let's do Keegan Michael Key.

Speaker 12 Then we have Brian Koppelman nailed at that time.

Speaker 14 Afterwards, we might cut this out before we do an ad real quick, PFT.

Speaker 12 Billy, why are you asking Kevin bonner if if you can carry a gun in a casino no it's it's not for me it's not for me okay that doesn't make it any better yeah no okay

Speaker 39 you're laundering somebody's gun question no we no we can keep this we we can we cut this because my trainer is a former police officer and he has a concealed carry permit okay but why does he have to carry a gun in a casino

Speaker 9 so he's gonna have a former he's gonna have a gun at the at the fight in case shit pops off no he he's he's licensed to carry in all 50 stars.

Speaker 8 Just because you're licensed to carry doesn't mean you have to.

Speaker 9 He's retired.

Speaker 39 He's retired. Right.
So I told him to leave his gun at home because he can't bring it into the casino.

Speaker 40 But then you asked, like, why can he, can he, can he bring his gun?

Speaker 39 I just was wondering so I can tell him because he's

Speaker 39 he always carries his gun, bro.

Speaker 9 He's got that look in his eye like he wants to bring his gun to the bottom. He's all in.
No, he always brings his gun.

Speaker 4 Leave all this in the podcast.

Speaker 41 No, come.

Speaker 9 I mean, look, I don't fuck around.

Speaker 9 I got some great trainers they always stay strapped if they're really great boxing trainers wouldn't they not need a gun right wouldn't their weapons be in their hands it seems to me like you are basically planning if you lose you're just gonna shoot jose canseiko no

Speaker 9 look

Speaker 12 i'm not going out i wouldn't be like

Speaker 8 I'm not losing like nothing.

Speaker 13 Like a chump.

Speaker 9 You're going to shoot himself.

Speaker 9 No, I know. No.
The thing is.

Speaker 51 think about it.

Speaker 37 Think about it.

Speaker 50 Like, for me to lose this fight, it would mean I'd like he'd have to knock me out because I'm legitimately.

Speaker 9 That's the way I've been trained.

Speaker 9 But

Speaker 39 I'm not losing a split decision because I'm going balls to the fucking wall.

Speaker 19 Or find a way to steal the gun from the cop and empty the clip before.

Speaker 16 No, dude, I was not sure. It actually sounds like Billy's planning an Ocean's 11-style heist at the casino.
Billy's like, hey, can I...

Speaker 9 I can't bring a gun into a casino.

Speaker 16 Can I bring a gun and and a small Asian gymnast and an old guy that's really good at impressing you?

Speaker 9 Dude, look,

Speaker 39 if he asked me, yo, like, what's the concealed carry laws in this casino?

Speaker 52 And I'm like, okay, let me ask my guy.

Speaker 9 Wouldn't you know that? Yeah. Oh,

Speaker 9 but he. Former cop.

Speaker 38 Former cop.

Speaker 39 He's a retired police officer.

Speaker 9 Got it.

Speaker 39 He's the man, though.

Speaker 9 Like, don't give up. No, I mean,

Speaker 16 he is literally the man.

Speaker 9 I would not say anything bad about him.

Speaker 8 The dude wants to carry his gun 24-7, 365.

Speaker 13 I'm not saying bad shit about him.

Speaker 11 He literally can't go anywhere without his gun.

Speaker 39 You guys don't understand.

Speaker 6 No, we understand.

Speaker 16 I'm just curious how much fertilizer I'm allowed to bring into the game.

Speaker 9 No, it's not like that.

Speaker 51 It's not like that.

Speaker 37 It's for personal protection.

Speaker 8 All right, let's do the ad.

Speaker 42 We're going to keep all this in.

Speaker 16 Everyone pretend like they didn't hear that. Don't tweet anything about that at the bottom.

Speaker 9 Yeah.

Speaker 16 Yeah, but Billy, you know what? You should actually bring with you. If you really want to keep that motherfucking thing on you when you roll to the casino,

Speaker 9 bring some

Speaker 16 I'm doing an ad read right now, Billy. Bring some Roman swipes.
Bring some Roman swipes to the casino. Most guys have tried different ways to last longer.
You know what you should do?

Speaker 16 Billy, you should take Roman swipes and just wipe them all over your face so you won't feel a thing if you get hit.

Speaker 9 Boom. Exactly.

Speaker 16 Figured out a way to hack boxing. But thinking about baseball doesn't always work if you're trying to last longer.

Speaker 16 The folks at Roman, they're an online men's health company, are changing the game with Roman swipes. It's the secret to longer-lasting sex.

Speaker 16 Roman swipes are a clinically proven way to last longer in bed. They're effective, they're easy to use, they're fast-acting, but they don't require prescription.

Speaker 16 Roman can ship swipes to you in discrete, unmarked packaging, and each swipes packet is small enough to hide in your wallet for whenever you need it. They're super easy to use.

Speaker 16 Just take the swipes out of the packet, swipe it on, let it dry, you're good to go. That's it.

Speaker 16 So go to getroman.com/slash take, get your first month of swipes for just five bucks when you choose a monthly plan. That's getroman.com slash take.

Speaker 16 And now here's Keegan Michael Key.

Speaker 23 Okay, we now welcome on a very, very special guest.

Speaker 24 It is Keegan Michael Key.

Speaker 32 He's got a new podcast out.

Speaker 15 It's called The History of Sketch Comedy, and it's an audible original.

Speaker 8 Fascinating idea.

Speaker 31 Something I don't think anyone else has done where it's a combo of, you know, a podcast, but also skits and sketches.

Speaker 33 Great to have you on.

Speaker 12 I guess the first question I had to ask was,

Speaker 24 is there a part of you that you're actually ruining comedy because you're explaining the joke in a 10-part podcast?

Speaker 38 You know, that is a really good question. I'm glad you asked that.
That's fantastic.

Speaker 38 I am of the belief that you can't ruin it by analyzing it. It's funny.
It's W.C. Fields.
He's the one that said, he goes, I can't tell you why some, I can't tell you what,

Speaker 38 I can tell you what's funny, I can't tell you why. And, and, my thing is part of my fascination with comedy has always been trying to figure out the why, trying to figure out the science of it.

Speaker 38 But I think that the science of it still,

Speaker 38 the way that jokes are constructed and sketches are constructed, you still don't always know what the person's going to say. Even if you know what the construction is.
And actually, guess what?

Speaker 38 You already know the rules because it's just storytelling. Any story that was read to you as a kid, any story you read to your kids,

Speaker 38 there's a certain way that things are set up.

Speaker 38 So, what happens is, you know, when you're in a movie and you hear that guy behind you, he goes, Okay, yeah, no, she's going to be, she's going to break them up.

Speaker 38 Okay. You know, like you're watching the movie about two guys are in a band and one of them meets a girl and you go, oh boy, here she is.
Okay. She's the one who's going to break them up.

Speaker 38 That guy.

Speaker 38 You get pleasure from that because you know what the movie is, or you know the trope of the movie, or you kind of know the direction the joke's going in, but you don't really.

Speaker 38 You don't know exactly how it's going to be executed. Look, they're going to run a jet sweep, but is which guard is going to pull? I don't know yet.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 38 Or is the center going to pull? I don't know yet. So the origin of this whole thing, the origin of this whole thing was my wife Elle and I having conversations about jokes over the years.
Okay.

Speaker 38 So that's how this thing came into being.

Speaker 9 Yeah.

Speaker 16 That's fascinating to me. One thing I've always wondered, I don't know if you touched on this in your podcast or not, but when people laugh, why do we laugh?

Speaker 16 And I'm not talking about like the mental recognition of the joke or the unexpected punchline that hits you in a different way. I'm saying, like, physiologically, like, why does my chest convulse?

Speaker 16 And why do I make this weird sound out of my mouth when I think that something's funny?

Speaker 38 So, here's the, it's crazy. I just, you asked me that question just made me realize how much of a nerd I am.

Speaker 38 Um, there is a philosopher, I can't believe this is happening. I get to actually answer this question after all these years.

Speaker 38 Yes. Um, there is a philosopher, a French philosopher named Henri Bixon, or you and I would say, Henry Bergson.

Speaker 38 And Henri Brexon believed that there's this social contract that we have with each other, this malleability that we have with each other.

Speaker 38 Like, you know, when you walk down the street and you and the other person go the same way, you go, oh, excuse me.

Speaker 38 So you go, excuse me. He goes, excuse me.
Then you both go the same way. Then you go, oh, sorry.
And you go the same way again. And then the next thing that happens is you go,

Speaker 38 it's a release it's a release from the fact that you broke a social more

Speaker 38 right if two men get if two straight men get too close to each other it's like oh

Speaker 38 sorry about that that's where laughter comes from the interesting thing is when we're babies we don't laugh for that reason when we're babies we laugh out of joy When we get older, we laugh out of uncomfortability.

Speaker 38 So your diaphragm contracting and you

Speaker 38 pushing air out of your body is a release of social tension and uncomfortability.

Speaker 8 Okay.

Speaker 9 I usually just kiss the dude, but that sounds

Speaker 9 just like right away.

Speaker 31 Just like, dude, if we're locked for more than a second, just kiss.

Speaker 16 You got to break the tension right now.

Speaker 38 That's that's permission. Right.

Speaker 9 That's just permission. Right.
You just kiss the dude. You know, go on your way.

Speaker 16 What you just described was Andrew Luck. Like Andrew Luck gets tackled.
He gets sacked and he laughs at people. Like he laughs.
He's like,

Speaker 16 good hit. But that's not because he thinks it's funny.
He's just tense in the pocket pocket and then he gets hit and he's releasing that tension afterwards.

Speaker 38 That is exactly. Other guys are laughing to try to get in other guys' heads.
Andrew Luck wasn't trying to get in their head. He was trying to release that tension, right?

Speaker 38 When you're throwing, if you're a quarterback, you keep your elbow in and then everything off is a whip, right? Throwing a ball is not that different from a golf swing.

Speaker 38 So if he can keep loose and keep loose and stay in the pocket, he's going to be more accurate and have more zing on the pass. So you're absolutely right.
That was why he would laugh.

Speaker 38 That is why that particular athlete would laugh. Makes sense.
He probably went to science class, Stanford. What are you going to do?

Speaker 32 Yeah.

Speaker 4 So I don't want to give away the whole, everyone should go listen to it, but part four, I saw you talk about Prairie Home Companion.

Speaker 12 I love that show.

Speaker 15 I love listening to that show.

Speaker 8 Why is that show so genius?

Speaker 12 Did you get into it?

Speaker 8 Did you explain that joke?

Speaker 38 I did. I love, you know what? What I explained about Prairie Home Companion, that again, that was my wife's idea, my wife and partner, because she's my writing partner.

Speaker 38 She's a really brilliant director. And she's like, you should talk about things from your personal life.
And that Prairie Home Companion story popped into my head.

Speaker 38 And I was like, oh, I should talk about Garrison Keillor. So what makes that stuff work is the running order of the show.

Speaker 38 So sometimes not necessarily even laughter, just the running order of the show. Like you're like, oh, and now a song's coming.

Speaker 9 Oh.

Speaker 38 And now the monologue's coming. It gives you that lovely sense of familiarity that makes you feel listening to that show, right? Didn't that show make you feel like you were putting a warm blanket on?

Speaker 38 Yes.

Speaker 52 Yes.

Speaker 38 That feeling where you know, here's the intro, then he's going to do the introduction to the guests.

Speaker 38 He's going to do a couple of jokes, then a sketch, then a song, then another song, then a sketch, then the monologue. And you just knew.

Speaker 38 We know every Saturday night at 1135 on NBC, there's going to be a political cold open,

Speaker 9 right?

Speaker 38 Then the host is going to come out and say, I'm so happy to be here on Saturday Night Live. and then we usually go into what's called a credential sketch or a commercial parody

Speaker 38 One of those digital shorts. That's the next thing we go into you just your brain knows it because you've been watching Saturday Night Live since you were a kid.

Speaker 38 Yes, and there's a certain amount of comfort now if they break that pattern. You're definitely gonna laugh.
You're definitely gonna laugh.

Speaker 38 They're gonna go, oh, oh no, I thought they went to a real commercial, but it's actually them. Oh, that's good.
That's good. That's good.
Yeah. So, yeah.

Speaker 38 So So the thing that gets you the most excited is when something super clever and also breaks a pattern. Breaks the pattern, right?

Speaker 38 The reason we giggled is because you said, I usually kiss the guy. You broke the pattern.
Mm-hmm.

Speaker 33 This is, this is fascinating because I, I, you know, we're, we love comedy, but we, we consider ourselves, this podcast, for the most part, we are

Speaker 45 not as smart as the smart people, but a little bit smarter than really dumb people.

Speaker 8 So we're right in that range where like I could understand, oh, that's funny, but I don't really know why.

Speaker 29 And someone like you who's smarter than us can tell us, hey, here's probably why.

Speaker 33 And I never even thought of it that way, but you're right.

Speaker 38 Well, it's also, it's just, it's not, here's the thing. Here's how, here's what I think about smarter or not smarter about people.
I just happen to have a passion for this thing.

Speaker 38 And however I was raised and where I was raised and who I was raised by. And same thing for you.
You have a passion about something.

Speaker 38 So there's definitely, as much as I enjoy sports, I'm going to gamble that you know.

Speaker 9 No.

Speaker 33 No, we're dumb across the board.

Speaker 9 No, across the board.

Speaker 15 Like, legit across the board.

Speaker 14 We could talk about sports, but we're dumb about it.

Speaker 16 We're actually very savvy.

Speaker 1 We thought the Bills were going to kill the Chiefs on Sunday.

Speaker 16 We're very savvy investors. We're more of like finance pros.
So if you have any questions about that,

Speaker 9 Robin Hood. Yeah, like that.

Speaker 38 You're really more into mortgage-backed securities, right?

Speaker 16 Yeah, synthetic CDOs.

Speaker 16 Basically, yeah, Dogecoin, you name it.

Speaker 16 What was the first joke ever told? It's got to be a guy getting hit in the nuts, right?

Speaker 33 Or a fart joke.

Speaker 9 No, it's not.

Speaker 38 It's a fart joke. It's a fart joke.
Yeah. So the first recorded joke, the first recorded joke was from the

Speaker 38 19th century BC, 1900 BC. And it's a Sumerian joke.
And it's something, I mean, trust me, bro,

Speaker 38 we're gone with the context. The context is long gone.
But it's about

Speaker 38 a young,

Speaker 38 something about

Speaker 38 respect for the young bride who farts as she sits on her husband's lap.

Speaker 9 Okay. That's funny.
Yeah.

Speaker 9 No context needed.

Speaker 16 I think you're looking too hard for subtext. See, this is where being too smart gets you into trouble sometimes because you're trying to analyze why the bride farting on her husband is funny.

Speaker 16 No, no, no. You could just stop the sentence there.
And it's like, that's just. You just said it.

Speaker 9 That's an entire sketch. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 27 Could have been a queen. That's just.

Speaker 9 Yeah.

Speaker 33 That's funny.

Speaker 27 That's funny.

Speaker 9 That shit is funny.

Speaker 33 That's great.

Speaker 33 That shit is funny.

Speaker 9 It is.

Speaker 8 You just said it, and I just started to laugh.

Speaker 32 You also, there was

Speaker 12 one of the episodes, you talk about working in medieval times.

Speaker 5 What did you do for medieval times?

Speaker 38 Oh, no. I didn't work at medieval times.
I worked at a Renaissance festival. Okay,

Speaker 9 sorry, Renaissance Festival. Yes.
I worked at a Renaissance.

Speaker 38 Yeah. So I did at the Renaissance Festival, I did a comedy show, a comedy sword fighting show.

Speaker 38 So it was me and a guy and a woman, and the woman plays like the damsel in distress, and the two guys fight over her, and then at the end, she takes some guy in the audience.

Speaker 38 You know how you like, we would busk for a crowd. We know we'd get a crowd, like, you hear ye, hear ye, come here to see the comedy show.

Speaker 38 And then, you know, you get like a crowd of like 50 or 100 people around, and then you do the thing, and then you pass the hat afterwards.

Speaker 38 And uh, and so we did, you know, so I learned how to, my, my, my boss at the time, he taught me how to sword fight, taught me the moves of sword fighting, and tiger rolls, and asymmetrical rolls, and judo rolls.

Speaker 38 So he'd like throw me, and I'd tumble and get up, and it was great. And then, you know, you grab someone's hat or fanny pack out of the audience and do bits with them.

Speaker 38 And that's kind of how I started learning bits, how to do street theater and physical bits, like when people come up to you at Disneyland and stuff like that. It was that type of humor.

Speaker 38 And I would watch all the other shows at the Renaissance Festival, the juggling shows and how they did the timing with their jokes. And

Speaker 38 like guys would do tightrope shows, but they always had jokes.

Speaker 38 in them and you could tell they've been doing this for 15, 20 years and that they just knew the timing of how to get to this person they knew what person to pick in the audience it like I learned so much from that experience

Speaker 16 and then

Speaker 16 obviously like Key and Peel was

Speaker 16 it was a big part I think of a lot of our comedy experiences growing up I think probably for a lot of our listeners our audience out there they probably you know watched a ton of you on television my biggest question for you when it comes to that show is how did you determine who got to go first in terms of Key and Peel?

Speaker 38 Oh, yeah. We literally, we said, let's just keep this as simple as as possible.
Let's just go alphabetical. Let's let's no drama this.
Let's completely no drama this.

Speaker 38 And had his name been Dieter, it would have been called Dieter and Key.

Speaker 9 That's just like we jumped.

Speaker 16 It sounds like you wanted your name first, and then retroactively, you're like, let's just do it alphabetically.

Speaker 33 Oh, wait.

Speaker 16 Yeah, that's crazy.

Speaker 9 K comes for 4P. Weird.

Speaker 38 Well, I will tell you: the first time I said, I said,

Speaker 38 there's a sketch comedy show from the 80s in England called A Little Bit of Fry and Laurie. And Hugh Laurie from House is a member of that

Speaker 38 team, that comedy team. And they used to call them Fry and Laurie.
Fry and Laurie. And to be honest, it's like, can you say it quickly?

Speaker 53 Keen Peele. Kean Peele.

Speaker 16 Peel and Peel and Key. See? Yeah.

Speaker 9 I couldn't even get it out the first time.

Speaker 38 Peel and Key. And Jordan, who is just about the most even-keeled guy you're ever going to meet.

Speaker 38 He was just like,

Speaker 38 works for me. Yeah.

Speaker 9 Yeah.

Speaker 38 Now I'm going to go over here and win an Oscar. You know what I mean? I mean, he just, it's like, he's just, he was sneaky.
He's like a sneaky genius. You know, because he doesn't talk a lot.

Speaker 38 And then all of a sudden, get out happens. Everyone's like, what the hell? Where did this wasn't?

Speaker 9 Is this the comedian guy? Yeah.

Speaker 38 And the thing is, he's, it's, uh, it was just for him. He was like, I'm great.
Kean Peel sounds good. Let's do it.

Speaker 33 I, the real reason we actually had Jan, though, is that I want to get season three of Friends from College. What the fuck?

Speaker 8 No, seriously, like, I love that show.

Speaker 24 I might be in a minority here because I actually re-watched it like a few months ago during quarantine, and it's still, I sat there at the end being like, what the fuck?

Speaker 8 I want to see the next season.

Speaker 5 So can you do that?

Speaker 8 What do we have to do?

Speaker 38 I don't know. I honestly don't know.
It's like it's not in my purview and it's kind of above my pay grade.

Speaker 38 That's bullshit. Yeah, it did.

Speaker 38 I will say it did end

Speaker 9 abruptly. Yes.
Yes.

Speaker 38 That's one way to put it.

Speaker 9 Definitely.

Speaker 12 How does that work, though, with a project that ends abruptly?

Speaker 33 Is there, obviously, it has, what I don't know, been four or five years.

Speaker 8 Is there a part of you that's like, maybe someday they'll come back and be like, hey, let's do another season, or is it just totally dead, out of your mind, gone?

Speaker 38 I have to, the thing is, I have to move on. And if it were to come back, then it would be a pleasant surprise.

Speaker 38 Like, you know, for that kind of work, because I really love the people I work with on the show so much. And I had really great rapport with everybody.

Speaker 38 And I, so you, you, you, for me, you kind of, it's like, it's like the last loss, right? Okay.

Speaker 38 That was an, we took the the L got to move on got to move on to the next game got to move on to the next game because you have to get it out of your head and then start to really give all of your attention and all of your focus to whatever the next project is and I've been very very very very fortunate in my career that those you know that you hope that those next projects come along because you got to give them gusto That's the thing about our job is you got to make sure you give a hundred percent to everything you do so that You can know that if it goes well, it's because you gave it everything.

Speaker 38 And if it doesn't go well, you'll have solace that you gave gave it everything.

Speaker 8 See, I need it to be more like sports, though.

Speaker 12 I need you to be able to be like, I'm holding out until they do another season. Like, I will not do anything else until they do another season.

Speaker 3 I need some backing here.

Speaker 38 It's funny because you could hold out, but then what happens is Netflix will go, but here are the algorithms.

Speaker 27 You know what I mean? And then,

Speaker 38 dang it, I can't beat the math.

Speaker 9 I can't beat the math, you know. Well, but we could

Speaker 14 like, yeah, we could pump it up.

Speaker 29 I mean, we're we basically have just made everyone millionaires, billionaires from from GameStop, which actually we had nothing to do with that, but we could pump it up.

Speaker 27 Everyone go watch Friends from College.

Speaker 32 I highly recommend it.

Speaker 12 Two seasons on Netflix, get the algorithm going, and

Speaker 12 you'll do another season.

Speaker 27 Guaranteed. There you go.

Speaker 9 Who knows? For free.

Speaker 38 You never know.

Speaker 27 For free.

Speaker 8 You'll do another season for free.

Speaker 9 Right?

Speaker 9 No?

Speaker 38 Out of the question. I'm sorry.
Now, now I have to put my foot down. I mean, as much as I love those guys.

Speaker 9 So you're all holding out some money then. Yeah.
All right. So you're all holding out some money.
All right. That's the credit.

Speaker 33 That's fine.

Speaker 38 I would do it again for money.

Speaker 16 always wondered about you because you obviously are a trained actor, you're a very uh passionate speaker.

Speaker 16 So when you talk, you speak with a purpose, and a lot of your comedy comes, I think, from uh the inflection that you put on the words, but you're also a writer, you're a comedy writer.

Speaker 16 I was wondering about your process when it comes to writing a sketch, whether it's for a keen peel or whatever it is, and uh if you know that something's funny after you read it out loud, or if you know something's funny just by writing it down.

Speaker 38 Um, for me, being a performer primarily,

Speaker 38 it's always about

Speaker 38 you have an inkling that it's funny when you read it, but the proof is in the pudding. It's when it's delivered.
Because you don't ever know exactly how it's delivered.

Speaker 38 The interesting thing about plays, or this Audible series, for that matter, is that it is being written to perform. That's what we used to say about Shakespeare.

Speaker 38 People, you know, be like Shakespeare analysts would be like, and then what he meant here by this phrase was this. And what he meant about,

Speaker 38 this is his um his reference to the teapot dome scandal or to the the gunpowder plot and i don't know nobody cares bro i just want to see does the good guy win yeah does hamlet kill his uncle what what you know what i mean that's like do romeo juliet live that's all we care about and no they do not live but you hope and pray that the performer can make it interesting enough that you think are they going to live this time that that would you know so what interestingly happened in the podcast or in the series is that

Speaker 38 my wife she wrote most of it. She's a really brilliant writer, brilliant writer, and has been writing for years.
She wrote most of it, but she's also writing for my voice.

Speaker 38 She's writing for what she thinks will be fun for me. You know, she's like the offensive coordinator.
She's going, oh, this will be a fun play.

Speaker 38 And I'm, and I'm, and I'm Brady, right? So, you know, so she's Arians and I'm Brady, and she's, but she'll sometimes write something and go,

Speaker 38 I'm going to write this, and I know exactly how Keegan's, what the inflection and the syntax of this phrase is going to be. Yeah.
And know how he's going to say this.

Speaker 38 And then I try, and I'll say it, and then other times I'll try to surprise her so that it's this really great collaborative effort between the two of us because she's going, she hears me in her head, and then she starts typing based on my rhythms and my inflections.

Speaker 16 Yeah, what I was thinking of specifically was the substitute teacher sketch and the word churlish, right? Because when you see the word churlish on a piece of paper, it's not funny.

Speaker 16 It just, it's a plain looking word. It's kind of like an oatmeal word.
When you say it out loud, though, and that's the best punchline in that entire sketch. And it's not even a punchline.

Speaker 16 It's just you saying an English word with a funny inflection on it.

Speaker 38 Right. And

Speaker 38 it's interesting. That line is one of two improvised lines in that scene.

Speaker 38 Every other line in that scene is written. Those, that line, insubordinate and churlish, is...
is improvised.

Speaker 38 And to be honest with you, I think I improvised it in the moment because it was literally in the moment I had discovered something about the character right then.

Speaker 38 Right then, I was like, this guy was in the military.

Speaker 38 This guy was in the military was my thought. And I went, insubordinate, and churlish.
Because you would only ever hear the word insubordinate from

Speaker 38 a sergeant. You know what I mean? He went AWOL.

Speaker 38 And then Chirlish, I got to tell you,

Speaker 38 just came out of my mouth. Because of what you just said, like, it wouldn't have been written on the page.
No one would think to write that unfunny of a word on a page.

Speaker 9 Right.

Speaker 38 You know, it just kind of came out of nowhere. And so, when writing sketch,

Speaker 38 really, or writing the

Speaker 38 series, it's the same thing. It was just pretty much a 10-hour monologue.
So, she's writing a 10-she's writing this little moments inside the piece are little sketches.

Speaker 38 And she's like, he would enjoy this. Oh, he's good at doing that.
So, very often, you come up with ideas of what would be fun for you. And as you're writing it on the now, I don't know.

Speaker 38 Jordan wrote the East-West Bowl

Speaker 38 all-star sketch sketch from Kian Peele.

Speaker 38 I imagine, as he was writing it, when you come up with a name like

Speaker 38 Jack Marius Tech Theratrix or Le Carpetron Duke Marriott, that he must have found it funny in the moment. I imagine him going,

Speaker 38 you know, but then the execution enhances it.

Speaker 9 Enhances it.

Speaker 4 Yes.

Speaker 15 I'm a simple guy.

Speaker 8 If you show me a video of someone puking, I laugh.

Speaker 9 Why? Why?

Speaker 38 Because again, it's something out of the ordinary. It's breaking up social, it's breaking up the social contract.

Speaker 25 Nobody would do that.

Speaker 38 If you see it, it's a...

Speaker 38 When things bend, here's another thing from Henry Bergson.

Speaker 38 When things bend, we giggle. When things break, we laugh.
So falling on a banana peel, boom, and then straight on your ass is a break. That's not a bend.
Slipping on a banana peel, slightly humorous.

Speaker 38 Right? But if you go ass over apple carts, we laugh.

Speaker 38 We're releasing that tension. We're releasing that tension because we actually feel bad.

Speaker 9 Right. But we're releasing that tension.

Speaker 38 That's sometimes where the laughter comes from.

Speaker 38 That's his theory.

Speaker 9 I was going to say 100% of the time.

Speaker 16 It's just holes. Yeah.
Like if something comes out of a hole, it normally goes into

Speaker 16 bad humor. That's where it gets interrupted.
Yeah.

Speaker 9 You should do a really episode 11 on holes.

Speaker 16 Yeah, it's just the funniest holes. What do you think is the funniest hole?

Speaker 38 The funniest hole?

Speaker 9 Yeah. H-O-L-E.
Yeah.

Speaker 9 The funniest hole. I'll start.
Butthole.

Speaker 16 Butthole is really funny.

Speaker 9 Yeah.

Speaker 38 Again, something we don't talk about. Oh, also, that release.
The release comes from,

Speaker 38 we didn't think what you just said. We didn't think that was funny when we were four.

Speaker 38 You were three. You walk around the house.

Speaker 9 You fart.

Speaker 38 Nobody think. It's the day that you start noticing that your parents notice you when when you do it.

Speaker 21 Ah.

Speaker 38 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, wait. Why did you look at me? And then

Speaker 38 and then look at you again. Wait, well, what's happening? Is that because of what I just did? Do you see what I'm saying? You don't know there's anything, quote-unquote, wrong with flatulence.

Speaker 21 You just do it.

Speaker 38 Yeah. Once a social more is put on it,

Speaker 38 we have the opportunity for humor.

Speaker 16 What about dogs? Do dogs get jokes?

Speaker 38 Dogs do not get jokes. That's why they just park whenever they want.

Speaker 9 Yeah.

Speaker 9 They'll just be walking down the street.

Speaker 38 You're like, what is he doing? We laugh at the dog because the dog has no shame about it. No shame about this.
Right.

Speaker 9 At all. So if I

Speaker 9 would laugh.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 12 So if I want my son to be a comedian, I need to just laugh at everything he does.

Speaker 38 Well, I guess, okay, so let's go back to Berkson, to the philosopher. You would actually teach your son

Speaker 38 all the things that people don't find

Speaker 38 acceptable.

Speaker 9 and then he'd want to do it it's how to do that that sounds like the worst parents ever do that

Speaker 9 don't do that yeah

Speaker 9 he's got no i would show you

Speaker 9 that's hilarious yeah yeah fire funny i would

Speaker 38 i would show your son comedy and let him let him absorb sketches let him absorb stand-up jokes and then you i have friends who have uh uh children they say they say um fred savage with the actor fred savage who was in uh friends from college yeah he told me one day he came over and he was beaming.

Speaker 38 And I said, what's going on, Fred?

Speaker 38 He goes, my son, August, he said, he just has this appreciation for humor and it just lights up my heart because I watch him starting to get jokes and understand jokes.

Speaker 38 So if you expose your son to jokes, my feeling is that he'll start to go, he'll start to figure out the architecture.

Speaker 38 He'll start to figure out why it works.

Speaker 38 He'll start to be able to disseminate the difference between the setup and the punchline.

Speaker 38 And it's really apparently a fascinating thing to watch a child start to understand humor.

Speaker 9 Yeah.

Speaker 17 I just realized, too, that when he was a baby and he would puke, I would laugh every time.

Speaker 9 So he probably will start puking all the time. No joke.
He might puke on me and I'd laugh.

Speaker 32 Is there something about it?

Speaker 16 What about Jackass?

Speaker 16 Why is Jackass?

Speaker 27 Oh, good question.

Speaker 16 Because I think that Jackass...

Speaker 16 People have varying opinions about it, but I honestly think that you could show Jackass to anybody that's ever lived in any society, in any civilization, and they would laugh at it.

Speaker 14 I agree.

Speaker 38 I agree. I agree.
It's the most basic thing. It's again, it's that thing.

Speaker 38 The only wrinkle with jackass is that they are voluntarily and willingly doing it to themselves.

Speaker 38 But if you take that part out, if take all the preamble out, I think you're absolutely right. From the Sumerians to today on pardon my take,

Speaker 38 it's just primal.

Speaker 3 All right, Keegan, Michael Key, this has been awesome.

Speaker 5 We really appreciate it.

Speaker 31 You have to come back on at some some point.

Speaker 24 And maybe, hopefully, when we can actually do interviews in person, you can sit with us for a while.

Speaker 12 Since you're in New York, we're in New York.

Speaker 5 But everyone, go listen to his new podcast.

Speaker 15 It's out, The History of Sketch Comedy, an Audible Original, 10 parts, fascinating stuff.

Speaker 12 We really appreciate your time, man.

Speaker 38 Thank you guys so much for having me on. Yes, I'd love to be able to do this on purpose.
That'd be great.

Speaker 16 Thanks, man. Awesome.

Speaker 1 What's up, guys?

Speaker 8 It's Big Cat here making my Irish entrance with proper number 12 Irish whiskey.

Speaker 25 How do you make an Irish entrance, you ask?

Speaker 43 It starts with a shot of proper number 12 Irish whiskey because real friends don't let friends Irish exit a party without a story to tell.

Speaker 35 Original proper number 12 is rich in a smooth blend of golden grain and single malt.

Speaker 23 Age four years in bourbon barrels.

Speaker 1 Mix it up with some ginger ale for a classic and refreshing proper ginger.

Speaker 43 In the mood for something smooth but a little sweeter, try proper Irish apple, a delicious blend of Propper's award-winning Irish whiskey with crisp, fresh notes of apple.

Speaker 33 So get out there and make your Irish entrance.

Speaker 18 Anything else just wouldn't be proper.

Speaker 16 Now, here's Brian Koppelman.

Speaker 39 And now for something completely different.

Speaker 26 Okay, we now welcome on our good, good friend.

Speaker 12 It is Brian Koppelman. He's got a Koppelman.

Speaker 13 I don't know why I said Coppelman. Koppelman.

Speaker 12 Brian Koppelman, he's got

Speaker 8 the you watch billions.

Speaker 24 You've been on a million times.

Speaker 41 I don't have to introduce you the same way.

Speaker 24 We wanted to have you on because

Speaker 26 the financial world is in ruins.

Speaker 8 Twitter is aflame. Everything is upside down.
And you kind of predicted all this, right? You're the Simpsons of this scenario.

Speaker 39 Well, you know, Levine and I, obviously, Dave Levine, my partner in Billions and I,

Speaker 39 and our writer's room, we've been watching this stuff

Speaker 39 bubble up.

Speaker 39 And yeah, I mean, this year we had a little run where Axe

Speaker 39 in the first half of the season and the half that aired, you know, has even in the scene Commenter is on, right?

Speaker 39 We have

Speaker 39 Axe act ahead of Goldman Sachs about buying his digital bank. And that's because Axe sort of starts to see where all this stuff might be going and is aware of this stuff.

Speaker 39 But to me, the hilarious part has been just everybody. I mean, you guys have seen it, like these thousands of people.

Speaker 39 coming up with billion scenarios to include this whole thing.

Speaker 39 And you both understand the mechanics of how to short things, right? Because I know trying to explain that even on the show, we're like the fourth episode of the first season is called short squeeze.

Speaker 39 And it was so hard to

Speaker 39 find a way to explain what this means to sell something short.

Speaker 39 So I've lost the sort of financial literacy now that like people are talking about Robin Hood and this shit the way they talk about betting lines.

Speaker 39 Like, do you know how if you explain to somebody who's not a betting person,

Speaker 39 how hard it is to even explain the over-under to somebody?

Speaker 9 Right. Right.

Speaker 39 Totals. Or like someone calls it an over-under and someone else calls it totals.
And the third person is like, what the fuck are you guys talking about? That's what this has always been like.

Speaker 39 But it feels to me like now people are kind of understanding the language of this. And maybe part of that has to do with that they've watched our show a little bit.

Speaker 14 Yeah.

Speaker 37 So we do understand it, duh.

Speaker 14 Like we're smart guys.

Speaker 17 But if we weren't able to understand it,

Speaker 12 you tell us what has gone down in the last 24 hours as you see it.

Speaker 14 And then we'll fact check you when when you're wrong.

Speaker 39 Good. No, I mean, this is the thing, right? I'm a, like, like, like you guys, this isn't what I do to make my living, but I had to become really educated in it in order to tell stories about it.

Speaker 39 Like, I was just interested in,

Speaker 39 uh, Dave and I were both just interested in people willing to kind of put it all on the line the way that these hedge fund people are willing to. But this whole idea of

Speaker 39 short sound,

Speaker 39 the way the best way to explain it, and I was able to explain it with props and a couple of people at home is

Speaker 39 if you want to bet that the price of something will go down, there are a couple of ways you can do that. One is to buy options.
This is not exactly short selling, right? One is to say,

Speaker 39 I want to buy what's called a put option, meaning I want to say that at a lower price in a month from now, I can buy this stock.

Speaker 39 That's and that's there's some of that going on with this, but this is real. Most of this is a traditional short selling, which is

Speaker 39 I would say to you, uh, big cat, I would say,

Speaker 39 Hey, can I borrow your iPhone? And you'd be like, Well, yeah, you can borrow my iPhone, but for how long? And every day you borrow my iPhone, you got to give me a couple of cents.

Speaker 39 I'd be like, That's fine. Let me borrow it.
And then I take that iPhone and I fucking sell it

Speaker 39 for $10.

Speaker 39 Buys the iPhone from me for $10

Speaker 39 because I believe there's going to be a glut on iPhones. There are going to be so many more made, or that particular one's going to become obsolete.
The new one's going to come out tomorrow.

Speaker 39 So the price of the one I gave I sold for 10 bucks is going to go down. If I'm right, let's say it goes down by $5.

Speaker 39 I go back and I'm like, look, dude, you're stuck with that iPhone, but I'll buy it off you for the market price of $5. He says yes.
He gives it to me back. I've given him

Speaker 39 now. He paid me $10 for it.
I got it back from him for $5. I made a $5 spread.
I still have to return the iPhone to you. So I return the iPhone to you and I have $5.
I have made $5.

Speaker 39 But where people can get fucked in this is, unlike on a regular stock, if I buy a stock that's $10

Speaker 39 and I want it to go long up,

Speaker 39 I know the worst it can do is go from $10 to zero. So I know what the worst, I know that on one share of stock, the most I can lose is $10, the difference between 10 and 0.

Speaker 9 Okay.

Speaker 39 But when you take a short position, because I'm obligated to buy that thing back and return it to you from whom I borrowed it, I have to buy it back.

Speaker 39 So if, and especially if you decide you want it back and you call that thing back, Now, what if it's worth $40? I haven't just lost 10 bucks. I've lost $30, the difference between 10 and 40.

Speaker 39 and so a short squeeze happens when a bunch of investors know that one investor or a smaller group or a different group of investors are betting that something is going to go down and they decide no no no for a period of time

Speaker 39 even if the fundamentals look bad we can make it appear that this is a good stock we can all buy it.

Speaker 39 And as we buy it, the market adjusts and the prices go up and we can squeeze that short seller and cost them so much money that perhaps they will have to go out of business.

Speaker 39 And that is what happened here with Robinhood and these hedge funds.

Speaker 9 Seriously, I do.

Speaker 3 Yeah, no, that was great. Well, Robinhood then shut it off, right? That was

Speaker 39 now. This is the part nobody actually knows yet.
Meaning, yes, Robinhood stopped people from being able to

Speaker 39 buy more of that stock. They still let people sell it.
But what they said

Speaker 39 was they're protecting.

Speaker 39 So, one of the dangers of this, right, if you took them at face value is

Speaker 39 because the fundamentals of the stock are bad and like it's probably a $12 stock, the fact that it was at 300 means at some point, like the tulip bubble,

Speaker 39 you know, of 200 years ago, at some point,

Speaker 39 the bubble will burst. And then all these people would have lost so much money.
All these people still holding the stock would lose so much money.

Speaker 39 But what people believe and what I tend to believe, knowing the way that the conspiracies in this world can work, is that a bunch of the institutional investors behind Robinhood leaned on Robinhood to sort of try to protect the status quo, meaning protect the fat cats, the rich guys.

Speaker 39 And although it was funny today to watch your rich guy go after the owner of the Met, Steve Cohn, because for the regular guy, because and

Speaker 39 your guy cracks me the fuck up. Though I was with you, Big Cat, on the Trump interview,

Speaker 39 but

Speaker 39 Portney cracks me up. And

Speaker 16 I i find him hilarious and so fun to watch but watching him have the side of the little guy against steve cohen even though both of them are so wealthy was pretty entertaining didn't you think so yeah but yeah it was steve cohen's on a different strategy steve cohen is a billionaire and when he dropped the line uh you know i'm just trying to be out here making a living just like you are yeah it's like yeah i think i think we've passed that point in time where you own the mets i think your living is pretty good like you don't you've made it you're not it is what i would say when people ask me what is rich when people want to know, like, where do, what do other, what are the rich,

Speaker 39 what do rich people think is rich?

Speaker 39 I think Portnoy qualifies. If you have 100 mil, you're

Speaker 39 anybody, you're rich. So I think Portnoy qualifies by anybody's definition as a rich guy.

Speaker 9 Are you worried?

Speaker 16 Are you afraid that maybe somebody's going to come out with a TV show called Trillions? And then you're like, well, shit.

Speaker 27 Yeah, what am I going to do?

Speaker 9 I mean, I think you...

Speaker 39 I think you might have pitched me that the first time I was on the show.

Speaker 9 Trillions, yeah.

Speaker 16 Because if you have the option to watch trillions or billions and you're watching billions,

Speaker 16 that's indicative of a limited mindset. And we have unlimited mindsets on this show.

Speaker 9 That's clear that you do.

Speaker 39 But listen, if trillions needs any time, when they get that thing together, maybe they'll need some sort of a consultant and maybe they'll find a little role for Dave and me to play.

Speaker 39 You know, we'll just contribute what we can up at that trillions.

Speaker 54 at that trillions level.

Speaker 16 What about the idea that I pitched you yesterday that I wrote about on Barstool, which is that maybe in a future season, Bobby Axelrod gets like he shorts Olive Garden and then he gets his fattest friend to go with him and then just eats all the breadsticks and soup knowing that the stock price is going to be like a beating.

Speaker 39 I think it's more of a, here's what I think. I think there's a law and order episode for short in a guy who thinks he can beat the buffet.

Speaker 39 And this guy is murdered on the subway and you find out it's because he's been beating the buffet at some small restaurant in Times, you know, next to Times Square.

Speaker 39 and that guy who owns that restaurant is like, fuck it, I'm killing this guy because I'm tired of him beating the buffet.

Speaker 39 It's more, I think it slots into like a low-in-order kind of a thing than billions. But I encourage you to continue to pitch me.
That's

Speaker 39 why I come here on your show.

Speaker 9 So in Billions, for people who don't watch it, we both watch it, obviously.

Speaker 3 What was the exact conclusion to this situation that's happening right now?

Speaker 5 Because you did have an episode that was very similar to what's happening in real life so how does it play out did you guys see did you guys sit down and be like all right so how is this actually going to play out in real life oh yeah well these things play out a few different

Speaker 35 ways um

Speaker 39 that there's a great i can't remember the name of the book but it's fucking great about

Speaker 39 these two that's a great book too but no about um bill ackman and Carl Icahn, you know, both huge multi, multi-billionaires.

Speaker 39 And they had a giant war um over one of those this company that ackman thought was a multi um level marketing scheme and

Speaker 39 watching the way that that kind of short uh the herbalife right they were arguing about herbalife because ackman was publicly shorting it and another example of that is tesla you know there are some very famous guys who've shorted um Tesla and continue to short Tesla and have lost billions of dollars of their funds worth because they think it's a con.

Speaker 39 And Elon has taken shots at them online.

Speaker 39 And although it's not officially a short squeeze, meaning, but, but he, you know, every time that stock goes up, he's killing these guys who are short on the stock. So it can go one of two ways.

Speaker 39 Either the, in the end, if the short, here's what happens often. If the short,

Speaker 39 if the person short is in that position because they really believe it's a con, like Enron is an example where there were short sellers who, even as Enron was going up, they realized that it was a scam, like really not just a bad company, but they realized it was

Speaker 39 actually a fraud.

Speaker 39 So, if you know in your heart and your head, like, oh, that's a fraud, you might be able to withstand losing the money for a really long time because

Speaker 39 when it shows up, you're going to make an absolute insane fortune, billions of dollars when you're right.

Speaker 39 And so, if a short seller has the stomach to stay in, they can get incredibly wealthy in fewer trades. So like long sellers, long,

Speaker 39 people who buy stocks long, they're traditionally in many more stocks. People who go short, they're short fewer positions.
But when those positions pay off, they're huge fucking wins.

Speaker 39 But it's a very dangerous fucking game. And I mean, I'm, you know.

Speaker 39 I would be terrified to really take any substantial portion of my money and play it short because I had no confidence. I could predict the psychology of the market.
And let's say you're right, man.

Speaker 39 Let's say it is a fraud, some company, or that they are cooking the books in some way.

Speaker 39 What makes you think the market is going to react rationally to that? Like people can just decide they love the company and it doesn't matter that you're right and you could still get killed.

Speaker 39 So I find short sellers fascinating to watch.

Speaker 39 We've had Axe make a lot of short plays, and it is a fascinating and fun thing to watch somebody fuck around in that area because they have balls of steel to do it.

Speaker 39 But it's high, high risk.

Speaker 16 Because you're also betting against the general trajectory of the stock market, which is over time, historically the stock market has gone up.

Speaker 16 So you're picking this one stock out and saying, not only is the stock bad or overvalued, but it's also overvalued compared to the trajectory of the market as a whole, right?

Speaker 39 100%. And also everybody hates you like the guy betting the don't pass line in Vegas at the the crabs table.

Speaker 39 Like even though that's actually, you know, like a smart enough bet, they people hate you for betting the don't pass line because they want the mojo. They believe, right, we're here at the table.

Speaker 39 We should all be rooting for us to make the points and make the numbers and go. And this one fucker is sitting there betting against everybody.
And so short sellers are often really wildly disliked.

Speaker 39 And that's why they often get. other groups of people to want to go against them.
So short sellers are very strategic about when they reveal. Here's where it also gets fun and tricky.

Speaker 39 If you're a short seller, you don't have to declare that you have a short position. But if you start badmouthing the company publicly, you have to declare.

Speaker 39 And so it's a real question like, all right, is it time yet?

Speaker 39 Are we positioned enough yet that I can start shit talking the company? Because if I do, I have to admit I'm short.

Speaker 39 And then if people hate me because of a deal, this is what goes on in the Herbalife book, which is amazing to get a billionaire is doing this.

Speaker 39 One One guy felt another guy had fucked him over 10 years before in a deal, having nothing to do with it.

Speaker 39 And then when he heard that this guy was short, he was like, this is my chance for revenge, almost like the princess bride or something with the sword. He was like, now I can get my revenge.

Speaker 39 And he gathered all these forces to short squeeze this guy and fuck him over like he carried the grudge for 10 years. So releasing the idea that you have a short position can get you screwed.

Speaker 39 On the other hand, if you don't make your position, if you don't publicly point out what's fucked up about the company, then maybe your short never comes in.

Speaker 39 So that's also a very dramatic sort of a moment in the life of somebody doing this stuff. And it's part of what, why the narrative of all this is so fascinating.
So Levine and Mick.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 8 And so now today, though,

Speaker 27 there is an extra element of

Speaker 10 it really feels like the Wall Street Fat Cats hedge funds essentially like the gig is up.

Speaker 32 Everyone knows the game's rigged.

Speaker 2 They literally rigged it in plain sight and said there's nothing you can do about it. Does that is that a fair assessment?

Speaker 39 It does

Speaker 39 feel, I would say this,

Speaker 39 because of what I do, this is the shit that I will read super closely and I'll talk to a bunch of reporters. It seems like it to me too.

Speaker 39 I'm very, I really do want to talk to the primary reporters and be like, what do you think? And then I'll probably get to talk to a couple of the investors around it and piece it together.

Speaker 39 Yeah, man, everything I know about this tells me, like, everything I know about these people tells me that they were all like, hold on a second, like the Dukes, almost like the Dukes in trading places being like, turn those machines back on.

Speaker 9 Right.

Speaker 39 It's like they're almost, you get the sense that the fat cats are doing that. I think that's very likely, but I do, I, I, I do want to

Speaker 39 do my own work and find out, which we'll know, man, people are going to report on this and it's crazy. And you, you feel the way folks are following it.

Speaker 39 And everyone seems outraged at the same time that suddenly when these investors are like the the suddenly when the wall street bets reddit investors are winning and the hedge funders are losing that that's when they push pause on robin head i i totally agree that that does not seem like an umpire calling balls and strikes it it seems like an umpire as a guy's about to get to first base just knocking him back until the shortstop can pick up the ball and throw it to first so yeah i agree that's what it feels like.

Speaker 6 It would be like the Yankees pausing a game in like the seventh inning and then adding a bunch of all-stars and being like, okay, let's go back on.

Speaker 12 That's what Darren Revelle said.

Speaker 16 Darren Revelle said it'd be like if the underdog was winning at halftime in the Super Bowl, then they'd let the other team play the second half with like 12 players on the field.

Speaker 39 Yeah, it did. It feels that way.
That's what I'm saying. I want to like do the work of figuring it out, but it fucking feels that way to me.

Speaker 39 And if I were one of those Robin Hood investors, I would be fucking batshit pissed about this. And I would feel like, wait a second, I was, so yesterday I was a big boy or girl and I could fucking

Speaker 39 I can take my risks. But today, because I'm winning, I can't take my risks.
You're suddenly protecting me. I would totally be outraged if I were one of them.

Speaker 12 Yeah, and it's 100%.

Speaker 16 It seems like

Speaker 16 at least this is the attitude that some of the billionaires that I've seen on television are putting out, which is saying that they're treating this like a casino.

Speaker 16 They're treating it just like it's a number on a screen, when in reality, us investors, we look at companies and try to build value in them by injecting capital.

Speaker 16 To me, that is is the biggest load of bullshit of all time. The stock, like the rules that the stock market is set up by does make it a casino, essentially, for people.
That's what it is.

Speaker 16 You put your money in, you take it out later. There's no rules saying that like you can't do this day trading for fun.
You can't try to predict what's going to happen.

Speaker 16 And they do fucking high-frequency trading on things.

Speaker 16 They've had an edge for the last, what, 15 years, 20 years when this whole thing started, when they had the data like milliseconds before other traders would have it, so they had their edge.

Speaker 16 They were trying to make you know short cash in, cash outs.

Speaker 16 And the second that normal people start to, what happened was they underestimated the ability of the public to band together as a giant hedge fund and their ability to compete against the other funds out there and having more spending power if enough investors act together as one.

Speaker 39 You're 100% right that that kind of language is what

Speaker 39 those institutional investors always use when the truth is very few of them believe that. 100%.

Speaker 39 In fact, they want all they want, if you speak to them privately, is for there to be a lot of dumb money in the markets. Dumb money allows them to have an edge, right?

Speaker 39 The more uninformed and dumb money.

Speaker 39 is sort of you know spazzed out into the market the better in poker terms and people talk about spazzing into a pot,

Speaker 39 the better that is for the smart investor who now has an edge, right? Supposedly. And they do traditionally have an edge.
And that is all they want.

Speaker 39 They will tell you hedge funds are harder now because there's less dumb money. So they wanted all this Robinhood money in there when they thought it was dumb money.

Speaker 39 Suddenly, when it's smart money, they're not that interested in it.

Speaker 16 What's to stop a group of people from getting together hypothetically? Let's say they just pick a stock. Let's call it Dave and Buster's, right? They pick Buster's stock, Hypothetically.

Speaker 16 Hypothetically. And you have, say, millions of people that are involved in this group.
I don't know if it's a wink and a nod or if it's written down somewhere, if that makes it illegal or whatever.

Speaker 16 But you buy the stock, and then it's agreed that everyone else that will purchase this stock, like there will be 10% of you that will be able to cash out, that should cash out your earnings within six months, and then we'll get more people in.

Speaker 16 And then the stock keeps going up and up.

Speaker 39 That's a Ponzi scheme. That's a Ponzi scheme.

Speaker 16 We can't do a Ponzi scheme.

Speaker 16 What if everyone knows it's a Ponzi scheme, though? Yeah.

Speaker 14 We have that idea.

Speaker 39 Now you're into this multi-level. No, you guys got to, it's all, that's all.

Speaker 39 Proving a Ponzi scheme is difficult, as the Herbalife thing showed, because in the end, the courts never said Herbalife was a Ponzi scheme. That's why I'm not saying it was.

Speaker 39 I'm saying one investor thought it was. A lot of investors thought it was.

Speaker 39 But in the end, the courts did not hold that it was a Ponzi scheme. And it's hard to prove that something is a Ponzi scheme.
But collusion,

Speaker 39 market manipulation is not allowed. And so if a group of people are intentionally manipulating the market

Speaker 39 and that can be proved,

Speaker 39 that is

Speaker 39 finable and

Speaker 9 okay. We'll erase everything.
I haven't read up.

Speaker 39 I will say like I've read a lot about that, but not in the last couple of days.

Speaker 9 So

Speaker 12 what's going to end up happening is probably like a couple of the small guys are going to end up getting dinged up for this, and all the fat cats are going to walk away free because they're going to be like, Well, you manipulated game stop.

Speaker 10 Yeah, like, oh, you can't do that.

Speaker 33 Even though they're not going to be able to do that.

Speaker 9 I don't know if this is market.

Speaker 39 Yeah, I don't know if this was market manipulation. This wasn't secret.
So, there are a bunch of things that make it in my head not market manipulation.

Speaker 39 They weren't hoarding private.

Speaker 39 I am educated as a lawyer, but I'm not speaking as a lawyer right now because I have not read all this

Speaker 39 in the last couple weeks.

Speaker 39 But

Speaker 39 they were not

Speaker 39 conspiring secretly to manipulate the market. They were openly talking about what they were doing, meaning anybody could have gotten in on it with them in this group.
So

Speaker 39 I do not think they were market manipulating in whatever the sort of things would be

Speaker 39 that would make it market manipulation.

Speaker 39 But yes, I think it's very close to market manipulation.

Speaker 39 And could people claim that?

Speaker 26 And will people claim it big cat yeah people will claim it for sure yes i look look i'm on the small guy's side here i don't think that they did anything wrong i just know that the game is rigged the pause button was hit they're trying to figure it all out the the fat cats in wall street are basically going to figure it out gonna blame the small guy gonna gonna make new rules like we already seen it i think robin hood even said like

Speaker 8 yeah we're gonna we're gonna we're gonna start uh letting you guys buy these stocks but with a cap they're gonna make new rules and they're gonna be like all right you guys can't win anymore Fuck all of you.

Speaker 1 It's but it's still capitalism.

Speaker 39 Nothing I've seen in my life experience tells me you're wrong about the way the system is gonna try to work and who it's gonna try to benefit here.

Speaker 39 Unless the Robin, unless the people making those investments in Robinhood suddenly become really wealthy. Yeah.
And then, you know, they're in the game. They can hobby too.

Speaker 39 And, you know, then they'll just switch. By the way, they'll switch sides too, right?

Speaker 44 That is what also happens.

Speaker 9 Yes.

Speaker 9 They'll rig it up.

Speaker 39 Yeah, no, that's It's going to be fascinating to watch. How all that shit happens.
But this is why it's so great to make a show about all this stuff.

Speaker 16 Yeah. And the other side of billions is the district attorneys, the southern district of New York.
You've got...

Speaker 39 Southern District, first couple seasons, and now it's the Attorney General's office.

Speaker 16 Attorney General's office. Yeah, so I saw today that there are investigations that could be happening into this entire situation here.
But

Speaker 16 if you're writing about those people and how they're able to go about investigating this fraud,

Speaker 16 if they're looking at market manipulation on the side of the hedge funds, like what do they have? What power do they have? Could they just be like, hey, this looks fishy?

Speaker 16 So I'm going to ask you, did you tell anybody to do this or not?

Speaker 39 Well, the market manipulation would be on the side of

Speaker 39 the Robinhood investors.

Speaker 39 I think. And what you would say about the other people is that that's just like

Speaker 39 in shutting down

Speaker 39 in shutting down Robinhood. I'm not sure what the cause of action is, but yeah, it's like fraudulent collusion and depriving these people of their opportunity.
I mean, what they,

Speaker 39 I mean, you should have somebody call in and tell you what the cause of action against the, against the institutional investors in Robinhood, but I bet you that what they really did is broke their user agreements.

Speaker 39 I think it's really basic, right? Robinhood, if Robinhood shut down and stopped you from being able to trade

Speaker 39 in violation of the user agreement you signed, I think the damages against them in a civil case are fucking extraordinary, enormous damages.

Speaker 16 Yeah, so they must have had, if that's indeed what happened, they must have had a lot of pressure being put on them from the other side to shut things down to realize like a class action lawsuit would be cheaper than the cost of letting these trades continue and having you know all the people that essentially do the real funding for our app shut us off.

Speaker 39 Correct. I mean, that feels, I mean, it does feel like that's the shit that happened.

Speaker 9 Yeah.

Speaker 9 Well, I had one last. So I mean, it's hard, right?

Speaker 9 Yeah, go ahead.

Speaker 39 It's just a day of.

Speaker 14 It's hard to know.

Speaker 12 If you wrote this,

Speaker 14 you did.

Speaker 29 You wrote, you know, the episode in Billions is very similar.

Speaker 9 But if you were to write a movie and you went to your script partner or Hollywood exec and you said, we're going to name the app Robin Hood, would you get laughed out of the room?

Speaker 39 Yes.

Speaker 33 Like, it's way too on the nose.

Speaker 12 I know everyone made the joke, but it does bear repeating how ridiculous it is that Robin Hood steals from the rich and gives to the poor, and these guys are just flipping everything on its head.

Speaker 39 I mean, I would say that if I weren't the guy whose show about billionaires is called fucking billions. So I don't really have a leg to stand on.

Speaker 27 You know what I mean?

Speaker 10 Yeah, that's true. Yeah.

Speaker 8 And also, we're going to beat you with trillions.

Speaker 13 Right.

Speaker 39 And then trillions is going to come along and make me completely obsolete.

Speaker 16 I was actually just thinking that there should be, no one's really gone on the side of the grift to be the one to go out there and stand up for billionaires.

Speaker 16 Like, I haven't seen anybody become the public face of defending the fat cats. I feel like there's some money to be made there, too.

Speaker 16 If this is

Speaker 16 the verbal meme, it's

Speaker 16 the daughter that's sleeping at night and then the soldier taking bullets for it. And the daughter is billionaires, and then the soldier is also billionaires.

Speaker 16 And then I'm next to the soldier licking its boots. Like,

Speaker 16 that's where there's some money to be made right now, I think, is defending the billionaires. So I might swing to the other side just to make a brand for myself.

Speaker 39 This is your brilliance. I mean,

Speaker 39 this is why I'm here with the two of you right now.

Speaker 16 I also think that it's a big red flag to me that if somebody's a billionaire and they don't own a sports team, it's like, what are you doing?

Speaker 16 What has all this been for if you're not going to spend money on something like that?

Speaker 9 Well, or you're trying to go to Mars.

Speaker 33 Yep. Should do one or the other.

Speaker 16 Or build a tunnel to your goal.

Speaker 24 Either a sports team or Mars.

Speaker 39 Yeah. Honestly, I think you guys are right.
Though one billion isn't really necessarily

Speaker 9 a couple billion, you're right.

Speaker 16 The show's not called billion. It's that billion would suck.

Speaker 39 It's harder now for a single, like a billionaire who was worth $1 billion probably could have bought a sports team, even when like Mark Lasri bought the Bucks.

Speaker 39 But I think he bought the Bucks for what? $500, and now they're worth like $2 billion.

Speaker 16 Maybe an NHL team, probably.

Speaker 9 Yeah. Probably the Hurst.
Yeah, maybe an NHL team.

Speaker 39 Or like

Speaker 9 a La Crosse team. Oh, we own a lacrosse.

Speaker 9 Yeah.

Speaker 17 We're just regular guys.

Speaker 39 we own lacrosse teams yeah so it's not a big deal that's a good investment i would i would go in with you guys on a lacrosse team if you want um all right i had one last question what was the losing hand in rounders that's really a good question and and and and here's the thing i will answer that question

Speaker 39 if somebody will post a give me 100 000 shares of game stop at yesterday's price okay there we go there make it happen elon i know you're a listener yeah come on elon i think that's like 30 I think that's like 30 mil.

Speaker 39 For 30 mil, I would.

Speaker 16 That's your price? 30 million.

Speaker 39 I'll answer the question.

Speaker 9 Perfect. Perfect.

Speaker 16 If you would go fund me.

Speaker 9 Yeah.

Speaker 10 Yeah. All right.

Speaker 12 Well, thanks so much, Brian. Appreciate it, man.

Speaker 39 Fellas, you're the best. See ya.

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Speaker 31 Okay, Fire Fest of the week.

Speaker 11 Let's do it.

Speaker 39 You can't have guns in West Virginia casinos.

Speaker 9 Okay, good. So we got that figured out.

Speaker 9 That was a very funny part of the show, by the way.

Speaker 16 It was surprising to me. I feel like if there's one place on earth that you should be required to carry a gun, it would be in a West Virginia casino.

Speaker 44 Yeah. Oh, you cannot?

Speaker 49 Yeah.

Speaker 39 Oh, you can.

Speaker 9 Oh, you can.

Speaker 9 Oh, all right.

Speaker 9 So your trainer can. By the way, we're not natural as healing.
We're not.

Speaker 41 We're not knocking your trainer.

Speaker 37 We're knocking just how ridiculous you are as a human being that you're still.

Speaker 49 Definitely knocking a trainer.

Speaker 9 Also, aren't you flying? Yeah.

Speaker 39 No, I'm taking the bus with you guys.

Speaker 9 Oh, yeah. We'll see you on the bus, dude.

Speaker 16 I'll save you spot.

Speaker 9 Yeah, cool. Yeah, just see you.

Speaker 3 Billy, if I'm not on the bus when it's about to leave, just don't worry.

Speaker 12 I'm underneath.

Speaker 9 No, you're not. I'm underneath.
So don't worry. Just know you guys can go.

Speaker 39 I got to go down.

Speaker 9 I got to go down for the weigh-in.

Speaker 29 I know.

Speaker 46 All right.

Speaker 8 Firefest of the week.

Speaker 9 What do we got?

Speaker 45 Who wants to start?

Speaker 9 I'll go. All right.

Speaker 16 My Fire Fest of the Week is Dip and Dots. I bought Dip and Dots.
I bought like $400 worth of Dip and Dots.

Speaker 49 DDO.

Speaker 16 DDO. I'm heavily involved.

Speaker 14 You bought the dip.

Speaker 16 I bought the dip. I bought it, dude.

Speaker 9 You You got to hold it. Hold.

Speaker 27 And, well, I'm holding now.

Speaker 16 I already bought into the dip. You buy the dip, then you hold.
And the only problem with this is Dippin' Dots are obviously delicious. I love Dippin' Dots.

Speaker 16 But now I did not realize that they were going to be shipped to me in these two industrial-sized, like two-gallon plastic bags that you have to keep at negative 40 degrees centigrade.

Speaker 16 It's essentially like a vaccine. You have to store it like you're hanging on to the COVID vaccine or else it just melts.

Speaker 16 And so I had to bring them all into work today and they just melted into a puddle within like two hours so mine as ice cream does

Speaker 16 ice cream yeah my it's the ice cream of the future

Speaker 16 which is literally melted ice cream now i realize you got you got shocked by ice cream i got shocked being ice cream i didn't well no i didn't because i thought negative 40 is crazy i thought that i and it's negative 40 fahrenheit i think yeah but it was in a styrofoam cooler eventually that runs out Yeah, but most

Speaker 16 ice cream you take out of the cooler, and then if you don't finish it all in one sitting, you put it in the freezer and it's good to go. Our freezers don't get that low.

Speaker 16 That's why I was saying it's like a vaccine. It has to be stored in a very specific environment.

Speaker 12 So that's pretty much why dip and dots never worked.

Speaker 16 Yeah, that and also no one goes to amusement parks anymore.

Speaker 8 But seriously, like you can't buy if you can't buy it and freeze it in your own freezer, then it doesn't work.

Speaker 16 No, but that's how they get you because it makes you always want more. And every time that you see it, you're like, oh my God, I got to get this.
Yeah. I might never be able to have it again.

Speaker 16 I can't, like the old meme, like we have dipping dots at home. You go home and home, dip and dots dots is just a puddle of sad liquid in a plastic bag on the floor.

Speaker 16 So I guess I, I don't want to say I wasted $400 on dipping dots. No.

Speaker 12 It's the memories.

Speaker 16 It's the memories we made along the way. And I learned a lesson, which is dipping dots is a depreciating asset.

Speaker 40 Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 9 No regrets, Bubba.

Speaker 44 A couple of weeks ago, I ordered a new pair of shoes, kind of just like Impulse Bottom, and I have a pair that looks like almost identical.

Speaker 44 I don't know if I just forgot or something.

Speaker 14 Yep, and if you like the original,

Speaker 44 that's kind of what I was thinking.

Speaker 41 It's a dad move. I like to do that.

Speaker 44 Yeah, but also, it's like dunks, and they literally make them in like every single color. And I bought a pair that's like almost identical to one that I have.

Speaker 20 I buy the same pair of shoes.

Speaker 17 Like, that I, if I like a pair, I'll just buy and buy it again.

Speaker 16 Yeah, you know what? Now you have one that's clean all the time. Yeah, like one you can wear to work, and then one for special occasions.

Speaker 41 Yeah.

Speaker 9 All right. Yeah.

Speaker 33 One for play, one for the party. Billy, what do you got?

Speaker 38 I had to take an HIV, Hep C, and you have HIP?

Speaker 39 Yeah, but no, that's the thing.

Speaker 38 Like when you take the test, you're like, I don't have it.

Speaker 44 But then there's part of you that's just like, yo, there is a chance

Speaker 52 every time you take a test.

Speaker 16 So what they say.

Speaker 9 What?

Speaker 39 So I'm negative. I'm negative.

Speaker 9 Okay.

Speaker 16 Well, yeah, frogs don't carry HIV. So you're in the clear on that.

Speaker 39 No, but it's just like, have you ever gotten a test for HIV?

Speaker 16 Yeah.

Speaker 6 I mean, isn't it just an STD test?

Speaker 39 No, no, it's not.

Speaker 38 You get some blood tests.

Speaker 39 I mean, I had to do it for the boxing, but it's just like nerve-wracking.

Speaker 9 Right. Because you were like...
Anyway.

Speaker 9 Okay. Hypothetically, like...
Right, right.

Speaker 32 No, I got you.

Speaker 16 So your fire test is you don't have AIDS.

Speaker 15 So if Billy took a pregnancy test, he'd be like, am I pregnant?

Speaker 16 Yeah, there's always a chance.

Speaker 37 He did not dispute that, PFT.

Speaker 50 What was the outcome?

Speaker 39 Well, the thing is, I think some dudes can piss on a pregnancy test and it comes up with a a false positive.

Speaker 51 Okay.

Speaker 51 I think that is a thing. I think that's a sign of cancer.

Speaker 9 Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 9 Believe it or not, not a doctor.

Speaker 10 At it again.

Speaker 9 No, I'm serious. That's the thing.

Speaker 42 No, we know you're serious.

Speaker 33 That part we know.

Speaker 32 It's the

Speaker 8 none of it's actually true.

Speaker 50 There's always a pot.

Speaker 12 Like, I don't know.

Speaker 39 Like, imagine if we got a false positive.

Speaker 38 That'd be like fucking scary. Right.

Speaker 9 For pregnancy?

Speaker 9 Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 37 Jake?

Speaker 47 Over the last 24 hours, I can't stop shocking myself.

Speaker 9 Whoa, why?

Speaker 16 Because you keep listening to yourself swearing?

Speaker 9 No, I mean, I was just sitting on the couch.

Speaker 9 Do you do push-ups or something?

Speaker 47 We were working from home this week, and I just sit on the couch. Everything I touch, I shock myself.

Speaker 16 Are you an X-Man? It's annoying.

Speaker 49 You have a crazy rug?

Speaker 47 No.

Speaker 9 Hmm.

Speaker 46 I don't know.

Speaker 9 Okay.

Speaker 41 I think there's.

Speaker 16 It's shock season, is what it is. It is.

Speaker 16 I used to be very scared that every time I would get out of my car and fill up with gas, that I would ignite the side of my car with an electric shock.

Speaker 47 On Wednesday, maybe I shocked the world with my words.

Speaker 9 Yes, oh, yeah, you did.

Speaker 8 You know what you need to do what I do is I just wear uh rubber socks everywhere.

Speaker 33 Rubber socks,

Speaker 16 yeah, it's the best way to do it.

Speaker 41 How much do I have to donate to watch Jake do 3 Chi on camera for podcast?

Speaker 3 Billy's already spending his Jose money.

Speaker 9 Yeah, Billy, how much of your Jose money have you spent?

Speaker 12 How much have you spent?

Speaker 39 I've spent, I don't spend any money, really.

Speaker 10 Yeah, okay.

Speaker 9 Uh, Hank, your firefest.

Speaker 49 My firefest is plug-related, so I'll give you this chance to to uh to opt out if you want.

Speaker 29 Uh, no, we're opting in, play bar.

Speaker 49 All right, so play bar, so we're coming out with a

Speaker 9 I gave you the chance.

Speaker 22 I gave you the chance, but this is this is this is I thought you were gonna say weed, like weed plug-related.

Speaker 9 No, no, uh, I mean, I gave you the chance.

Speaker 49 This is a legitimate Firefest, though. It's not like me plugging just a plug.
Oh, of course.

Speaker 49 So, we, no, I i mean i do do that so i gave you opportunity sometimes i do it sometimes this is actually what like my biggest fire fest of the week uh

Speaker 49 davy day trader our boss he he does a daily stream we've built a davy day trader play barstool game it's ready we were talking about launching it this week but we postponed it to next week so it's like we're going to be promoting it during the fight and stuff and then today because of all the stuff that was going on today was supposed to be like like the first day that it aired and launched and was talked about.

Speaker 49 And they've had like 45,000 people watching him this morning and like 30,000 people watching him today.

Speaker 16 Your home reception selling your pumpkin futures in mid-November.

Speaker 49 Yeah, so that was just one of those things. I saw those numbers and I was just like, fuck, like, that's obviously not going to be the case

Speaker 49 next week when it launches. But it was just, you know, that's my fire fest.

Speaker 16 You never know, though. You never know.
Word on the streets, Dave, and Busters might be popping next week.

Speaker 9 True.

Speaker 9 Yeah, I mean, you got to admit,

Speaker 9 that's a fair fire fest.

Speaker 36 Yeah, no, that is a very fair fire fest. It was, I saw his stream, it was fucking crazy.

Speaker 49 It would have been nice. It would have been nice for him to, like, in the middle of that, be like, hey, go down, I'll be out.

Speaker 6 Were you furiously texting him?

Speaker 44 No, God, no.

Speaker 12 All right, my fire fest is that it just dawned on me this week that we should be heading to Tampa on Sunday, but we're not. It just sucks because Super Bowl Week is also

Speaker 12 always one of the highlights of the year.

Speaker 12 Not only because it's fun to be somewhere a little warmer, except for the year we went to Minnesota, but it's also like there's definitely a group of people that we don't see all year long, and then we see them during the Super Bowl.

Speaker 16 So that sucks.

Speaker 35 Dan Marino.

Speaker 29 Dan Marino.

Speaker 29 Ruben Meyer that one time.

Speaker 16 It's always great to sit down next to like, I don't know, like Vinny Testa Verdi talking to you about Firestone tires for 30 minutes.

Speaker 40 I miss it. I do.
I miss it.

Speaker 3 There's something nice about Super Bowl week.

Speaker 8 And also, it's the one time a year that we get to do,

Speaker 17 we get to feel like we're in real world when we show up to the house the first day.

Speaker 8 We're like, oh, this place is sick.

Speaker 48 And then we remember that like 45 people are sleeping on the floor.

Speaker 16 And we were going to get kicked. Well, we were actually going to sneak into Media Day this year by building like an army of people that look like us.
Yes.

Speaker 9 Remember, robot army.

Speaker 10 Yeah, fuck.

Speaker 47 Yeah. You could have just sent me as the real Big J.

Speaker 9 Okay, Jay, cool. Cool that you get credentials.

Speaker 47 You think they would kick me out?

Speaker 32 No, probably not. Because they'd be like, what is he going to do?

Speaker 29 Ask him, like,

Speaker 35 what's your plans?

Speaker 47 How do you think the big game's gonna go no you forgot the uh talk about yeah talk about the big game

Speaker 9 no they would definitely not kick you out i think they would know they'd hire you they'd be like wait is that jake from part of my take like yeah he's he's what is he gonna he's didn't even swear

Speaker 37 yeah yeah no you would you would definitely go it would be actually actually you know what that's what we're doing next year sending jake yeah and just having him be a regular reporter we could do totally owning them be like we got our fucking exclusive idiots i think jake and billy together

Speaker 9 no billy would get kicked out. Yeah.

Speaker 8 Instantly. But why would they kick me out?

Speaker 5 Because you're Billy.

Speaker 9 You would speak.

Speaker 37 Do they think? What would they think I would do?

Speaker 9 Billy, you asked MBA.

Speaker 47 How does it feel to be the first loser at three different levels?

Speaker 9 Yeah.

Speaker 9 That's right. Yes.

Speaker 23 Oh, man. All right.
Numbers.

Speaker 9 8. 10.

Speaker 40 99. 18.

Speaker 44 20.

Speaker 26 How many days have we done this?

Speaker 9 I have a list. 30.

Speaker 29 No, it's incredible that we haven't gotten it right. Only Liam and...

Speaker 9 Oh, no.

Speaker 12 41. 41.

Speaker 16 Great. Good.
Wins are Neil.

Speaker 16 Love you guys.

Speaker 24 See you over Monday.

Speaker 9 Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 48 Wales,

Speaker 39 you can fit six people in a whales agenda.

Speaker 9 Sick.

Speaker 9 Today is another

Speaker 9 day to find you. Shine.

Speaker 9 Oh, I've been coming for your love of gay.

Speaker 9 Shining away.

Speaker 9 Oh, I've been coming for your love of king. Please

Speaker 9 stay.

Speaker 9 I wanna say it.

Speaker 9 But I'll be somewhere in other ways.

Speaker 9 Smell and learning that life is okay.

Speaker 9 Say up to me.

Speaker 9 Oh, it's no better to be safe than sorry.

Speaker 9 Say up to me.

Speaker 9 It's no better to be safe than sorry.

Speaker 9 I've got

Speaker 9 a free,

Speaker 9 I'm taking,

Speaker 9 I'm in the face.

Speaker 9 Does that

Speaker 9 say

Speaker 9 easy love.

Speaker 9 Just play my way.

Speaker 9 You are the things I've got to remember.

Speaker 9 Shine on you.

Speaker 9 I'll be coming for you anyway.

Speaker 9 Shine on you.

Speaker 9 I'll be coming for you anyway.

Speaker 16 It's pardon my take presented by Bar Stool Sports.