Julian Edelman, Greg Maddux, Phil Rivers Retires And Championship Weekend

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we have a twofer. We have Julian Edelman, Super Bowl champion, AFC championship weekend veteran, talking about Tom Brady, talking about his career.
He's not retiring. And then we have estimation like that well he's not retiring retiring tune in later find out maybe and then we have by my estimation the greatest baseball player of all time yeah I said it Greg Maddox uh whoa okay well I guess we talk about that as well when he goes up against Barry Bond so awesome interview with Mad Dog great two interviews we also have a preview of Championship Sunday Fire Fest Phil Rivers retires and Dan Campbell comes on the scene we have all of that brought to you by our friends at the Cash App go download the Cash App right now use code Barstool you get $10 for free10 to the ASPCA.
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And Dan Gummett, it just gets the stew out of me philip rivers has retired it's probably the most depressed i've ever been about a retirement of a player that doesn't play for one of my teams it's a bunch of horse mess i was sick too when i saw it i mean this is a guy that has given so much joy to us and defensive backs on sunday afternoons i'm gonna be uh i'm gonna be missing him next mean, hopefully we can get Jameis or a quarterback that is of his same ilk to provide us with the same type of late Sunday drama. But yeah, this is one of those where were you moments.
Now, I feel old now. I feel like I'm 29 years old.
It absolutely, you're 29. I'm 35 going on 50 i uh i had a moment where it happened i processed it i tweeted some of my favorite clips and then i said to myself wait i'm actually kind of really upset about this because philip rivers and i was thinking about i was trying to understand my emotions i was really trying to get in This is great, too, that the most emotional thing that happens to us is a football player retires.
I was going to say man card, but I think in this circumstance, you're allowed to cry during the national anthem and when Phillip Rivers retires. So I was trying to do some self-diagnosis, really looking in.
Mental health is in the news every day. We're in tune with our emotions.
So I was wondering why I feel this way. Because we also had Eli Manning retired, Peyton Manning retired.
Guys who have been part of our NFL Sundays for many, many years. But the difference is, when Eli Manning retired, we knew it was kind of over.
When Peyton Manning retired, even though he won a Super Bowl, it was kind of over. Phillip Rivers wasn't peak Phillip Rivers in the last few years.
His arm strength wasn't there. But he still was a joy to watch.
And he was still fun. And his teams were still competitive.
So it feels like, you know, I'm happy that he's going out on his terms. I'm happy that we won't get some, like, terrible, terrible year of Phillip Rivers where we all, it just gets sad.
But I still think he could have played another year, so that's why it hurts me. And there are so many Sundays where he was, we made the joke many, many times, but he was the anchor to Sunday.
At 6.30, 7 o'clock, after watching so much football all weekend long, Phil Rivers was there trying to lead a furious comeback, trying to bring the Chargers or the Colts this last year back and win a game in a hilarious fashion. And we thank him, and I'm sad.
PFT, I actually went and looked up a stat. He led, I think it was by over 100, the amount of passes thrown in the fourth quarter when his team is down one score in the last 10 years and is that not the most perfect Philip Rivers stat you've ever seen hold on I'm pulling it up here it is it is 604 the next closest one is Matt Ryan at 560 so that's Philip Rivers and I love him forever well the only reason Matt Ryan isn't even higher than that is because like he doesn't throw that many passes when they're behind.
He throws a shitload of passes when they're ahead and then very few at the end when they give up the lead. So he only gets like two passes in late in the fourth quarter with Philip Rivers.
He is Mr. First, second and third quarter.
And then the fourth quarter, actually that is where you get the most distilled version of Phillip Rivers. And it's hard to put a pin on when Phillip Rivers was at his peak.
Like, if I were to ask you what year were we at peak Phillip Rivers, I don't really know when that was because I remember the stuff like him lying on his back and jumping up in the air like a bullfrog that's getting fucked more than I do the really, really good Phillip Rivers where he got to the AFC Championship game. So peak Phillip Rivers to me started when he was playing that game against the Broncos and Jay Cutler and Phillip Rivers were screaming at each other across the sidelines.
I think that was his arrival. We're like, oh man, this is going to be fun.
I do think that AFC Championship game when he played on a torn ACL and you know we'll obviously get to the hall of fame debate but Phil Rivers had some bad luck it's a team sport it's actually crazy to look at the numbers and realize how like your career and and you know I think he'll eventually get in the hall of fame he's not a first ballot hall of famer I think he eventually get in, but he obviously will get dinged for the lack of playoff wins and the lack of a signature win and the lack of a Super Bowl. But when you actually look at it with Philip Rivers versus Eli Manning versus Ben Roethlisberger, Eli and Ben both have two Super Bowls.
Philip Rivers was the better quarterback in terms of numbers throughout his career. So it's, I don't know.
I just, he was such a, and honestly, if I were in the Hall of Fame committee, if David Baker was our boss, I would be like, okay, all your numbers mean nothing to me. Like, he was so much fun to watch.
I don't really care. Like, I can't think of football the last 20 years without Philip Rivers.
And yeah, he was never the greatest quarterback in the league because he played with Brady and Peyton and all these guys and Breeze at the height of their abilities, but he was the most fun for a very long time. So I think that there actually does need to be a Hall of Very Good.
People forget that it's the Hall of Fame and not the Hall of Very Good, but we should make the Hall of Very Good and put people like him and like Matt Schaub,

fun guys, people that gave us moments in football,

that gave us years and memories that we can't just let be lost to the sands of time

that need to be memorialized in some way,

even if they're not good enough to get into the Hall of Fame.

And actually, I do think that Phillip Rivers should be a Hall of Famer.

I agree with you on that.

I think, I mean, it's fun to go back and say,

what if the Chargers had drafted Eli Manning

and he didn't hold out and demand a trade to the Giants?

I think it's fun to go back and say like what if the chargers had drafted eli manning and he didn't hold out and demand a trade to the giants i mean that that to me i think that philip rivers would have won more super bowls than eli manning did yeah and so here's another stat to back it up so robert mays tweeted this out uh rank and epa expected uh i think what's epa expected points added is the stat since two from 2006 to 2020 or 2020 philip rivers was six overall big ben was 12 eli was 35 so like yes superbowls matter i'm not saying they don't they clearly do like ben and eli have those superbow guys are first-bound Hall of Famers because of their Super Bowls. But my argument would be Phillip Rivers still deserves to be in the Hall of Fame eventually because it is a team sport.
And he was, you know, he was part of some very good teams, never got all the way to the top of the mountain. But that also is, I like, that's also kind of perfectly Phillip Rivers too.
You know what I mean? Like the whole story is perfect. And his retirement statement to Adam Schefter and to the league was so funny when he said, I appreciate the opposing defenses making it challenging physically and mentally every week.
I also enjoyed the banter. I appreciate the referees for putting up with all my fussing.
I think I was right most of the time, dadgummit. And, like, so that's Phillip Rivers.
In his retirement statement, he thanked the defenses and the referees and his 17 children, and that's perfect Phillip Rivers. Phillip Rivers, the story of a man who tried and tried as he might, kept climbing that hill but never reached the climax.
I think that's what we always think of when we think of Phil. I think that after he retires, he should definitely...
I mean, there's talk about him going into the booth. I think he'd be awesome on television.
I think that Phil Rivers would be a great... He's going to go home, try to coach high school football, try to do that, and then he's going to be like, shit, I got all these kids.
This is a real pain in the ass having to be a dad all the time. So I better do something that takes me at least out of the house for three or four days a week.
I think he's going to be a football coach forever. And he's going to win like a million Alabama, you know, class five state titles and whatnot.
Also, let's just throw this out there because this one needs to be said. 240 consecutive starts.
That's fucking insane. Brett Favre obviously has the record.
But just think about how physically taxing an NFL season is and how many like how hard it must be to play that many games in a row never missing one played on an ACL in the AC you know torn ACL in the AFC championship game like that should be mentioned in the Phil Rivers story and that that game streak it's almost almost as impressive as any numbers streak. You know what I mean? Like, it's almost as impressive as any touchdown streak or pass completion, anything like that.
Playing that many games in the NFL consecutively is fucking incredible. Yeah.
How many did Eli have when Ben McAdoo pulled him out for that one game for really no reason? I don't know. Let me see.
Eli, I mean, obviously Eli had a lot of games. But Phillip also had some games where he was like, I'm just not going to not be the starter today, like regardless of how I'm feeling.
So he was just a guy that's like, you can never lose your job if you never let the next guy in. Yeah, 210.
210 was Eli. 240 was Phillip Rivers.
And Eli, I mean, we joked about it, but it did have the last few years where he self-sacked for preservation. Yeah.
Maybe not taking as many hits. Mr.
Stats, Dan Stats, do you have Phillip Rivers' career winning percentage? Ooh, I don't. Do you? I don't have it in front of me.
I just remember that Eli was perfect 500, right? Yeah, no. Oh, I do have it, actually.
I lied. Eli was 117 and 117 phil rivers was 134 and 106 there you have it big ben was obviously on a lot better teams 156 and 74 i just think again i'm not saying that uh phil rivers you can sit here and be like he was better than big ben or eli statistically he was but obviously super bowls matter they absolutely matter he just should be in the Hall of Fame again he should be in the Hall of Fame he was more fun than Eli Manning yeah and Eli Manning was fun he was very good that's a lot of fun this is not a knock against Eli Manning but Phillip Rivers he you're right this was like the funnest quarterback class of all time all time and Phillip Rivers was head and shoulders above the others yeah so um all right so we say goodbye to a legend but good news you know uh as one birth happens or one death happens a birth happens we get dan campbell head coach dan campbell now he was an interim head coach for a while for the dolphins there but holy shit was that not the greatest press conference of all time if you missed missed it, Dan Campbell was hired as a new Lions head coach.
He did a press conference where he accidentally swore, and then he had the quote, we're going to kick you in the teeth, and when you punch us back, we're going to smile at you, and when you knock us down, we're going to get up, and on the way up, we're going to bite a kneecap off i does dan campbell think he's coaching actual lions he thinks he's coaching war he's going to war up there i i do take exception we said another birth happens dan campbell was not he was not born he was forged this is a dude that like came out like in iron and twisted steel um he is my favorite interim coach of all time. I'd even put him above Jim Tomasula in terms of Coach O.
Well, Coach O has kind of risen above that. Yeah, but he won us so much money when he was interim.
But Dan Campbell, I think, is the ultimate essence of an interim head coach. And this press conference was perfect.
His whole mentality basically is we're going to be more physical than you. Dan dan campbell's just always ready to engage another human being physically he's just like always on the lookout for that and he just his mentality is that of like a porcupine he's like you're going to kick our ass but you know what we're really going to make you hurt when you do it you're going to hate you're going to hate beating the lions yes and he also you know people obviously are clowning on it because I think we pointed this out last week that the first thing Matt Patricia did with the Lions was run the Oklahoma drill.
The first thing Dan Campbell did with the Dolphins when he was interim head coach was run the Oklahoma drill. But I think the way that Dan Campbell presents it is going, guys will buy in more than they did with Matt Patricia.
Because Matt Patricia had a little bit of an arrogance arrogance to him a little bit of hey i was with belichick i know what i'm saying dan campbell is just a dude so much so on his office door it just said the dude it said dan campbell the dude he is you he is a guy and i don't know if it will last forever and he has to clearly hire some smart people around him but he's a guy if you polled the NFL I guarantee you there would be a majority of NFL players being like I'd love to play for a guy like that yeah I think his players will absolutely like him and enjoy it the only thing is if he gets you know if it's a 4-12 season that might be a little bit much at the end of the year to have like Dan basically tying you to a chariot and riding you around practice you know for the last game of the year. But I think the Metallica, he needs to bring back the Metallica at practice.
What do you call him? You call him Dan-Tallica? Dan-Tallica. I like Dan-Terra.
Dan-Terra is pretty sweet because he was a cowboy from hell. And I know that that's like a Texas band.
If I were listening to Dan-Terra, chances are I'm getting into day like they're gonna be i think they're gonna be like three to four all-out training camp brawls this summer and dan tara is gonna fucking love it he's gonna eat it up and they're gonna hug after yeah it's gonna be a brawl and they're all gonna be like dude that was awesome we're a fucking team now yeah whereas if if you got into a brawl with matt patricia he would just kind of sit there and smile and smirk at you and be thinking to himself, like, this is good that they're doing that. But then he would punish you, I'm sure, after the fact.
Be like, we can't be throwing hands at training camp. Dan Campbell will make the team hug it out, bitch, after every single brawl.
So I think they're definitely going to be a physical team. We're really the ones that are lucky here with Dan Campbell because, like, he got a six-year deal, Big Cat.
Six years. six years is so long for a first-time head coach and you know they never fire guys don't fire people yeah exactly so i think i think detroit do detroit is going to be they do yeah but six years i don't know i feel like he's got he's got to stick around for at least three of them right yeah three he gets three i agree with that three three feels like he will get at least three dan campbell and i really was like i do think the world works this way where it was sad to lose phil rivers and you need a character to take his place and there it is it's it's dan tara it's dan talica and we have urban now by the way did you see on a side note Did you see who Urban got as his GM? No.

Balky, the guy who Jim Harbaugh and he had the biggest feuds ever on their way out in San Francisco. That is such.
I love that Urban Meyer is bringing Ohio State Michigan feuds to the NFL with that. It was a this league hire if this were the NBA.
Yeah, it was a passive aggressive move. It was a direct shot at Harbaugh for really no reason whatsoever.
None. Fuck, that's awesome.
I mean, he's a good GM. He built a good team.
And Nick Saban got our guy. He got one of the Dugs.
He got Doug Marone as his, what, offensive line coach? Yeah, offensive line coach, which. That's going to be great seeing Doug on the sideline.
I was thinking about that, too, because I think the Bears are losing their offensive line coach. It's like, man, I wish we had gotten Doug Marone.
But then I realized it really is a genius thing to do for a coach that just got fired because you're going to Alabama and you know you're going to win. It's almost a cleanse of your body because if you're a coach that got fired, you probably lost a lot.
Now you get to go get a cleanse, like a nice spa year where you win and dominate the fuck out of everyone else. And it's not like there's going to be any firings at Alabama.
The only thing that happens in Alabama is guys get hired to new jobs. So it's the greatest rehabilitation program of all time.
Nick Saban needs more credit for rehabilitating football guys and setting them back out in the wild. How quickly do you think it takes to get rehabilitated by Saban? Like if you coach Alabama for two months, do you think you'll get another job right after that? Yeah, I think so.
I think if they win a national title, by the way, so I'm in Detroit right now. Yeah.
Everyone's joining me for the weekend, but I'm hearing the pipes right now, and it is so loud. It's ridiculous that we have to live in this.
Hey, is Pete in the room with you right now? Well, their voice activated. That's the problem.
He's a fucking loser. He's a loser.
If Pete comes back in the room, bring him over onto the mic, because I feel like he should have to address our listeners. He should have to explain himself.
Pete, come address the listeners. What? It's so loud in here, Pete.
He just groaned. I think he was jerking off, which is weird because he actually can't produce cum after his vasectomy.
No longer nuts. Do you want to address them? No, I've worked on the pipes.
He's worked on the pipes. You worked on the pipes? Yeah.
Yeah, I heard you were working on the pipes. Fuck you, Pete.
They drained the pipes. Pete drained the pipes.
That's what he said. I actually do think that Dan Campbell would implement the ideas that we gave Matt Patricia when we were up there talking to him, doing the interview with him, that Matt Patricia just kind of looked at us, smirked.
He was a prick in a lovely way, but if we gave those same ideas to Dan Campbell, he'd be like, I'm going to write all these down because I'll use at least one of them like the idea of of having the factory clock the punch clock right at the door every day the uh the lion or the sheep that you ignore because lions don't care about the opinions of them i think that he could we and dan campbell would get along very very well swimming yes yes and matt patrick was one of the weirdest interviews because we had fun with it we thought it was, and then it just didn't translate to the podcast where people were like, man, he was a dick. Like, no, actually, he was nice in person.
Like, he wasn't – it was kind of a jokey way, but that's – you know, Dan Campbell. We will try to interview Dan Campbell.
We have a request out there. Dan Campbell, you probably listen to this show because you're a football guy.
What up? First of all, congrats on the hire. That's awesome.
Six years. You'll probably be there all six.
But also let us come interview you while we're in Detroit. Yeah, please do.
Here's a free recommendation. This is just a taste of some of the stuff that we'll throw at you in person.
Just get heavier weights. I don't know why more coaches don't do that.
Just get heavier weights than you currently have in the weight room. as long as you can be like We lift heavier weights than any team in the NFL That's the Dantero way Yeah maybe get the guys doing the Scottish Big log toss that they do I feel like remember when everyone was Remember when Sean Payton took his sabbatical And came back and tried to get everyone To do CrossFit on the Saints And they all got injured.
I think Dan Campbell definitely has some like, hey, we're all going to do a Navy SEAL training and everyone's getting injured. That feels like a Dan Campbell move waiting to happen.
Look around, look at the guy next to you and the guy next to you. Two of you are going to die.
Two of you are going to throw out your back before training camp even begins. The only problem might be that he's too alpha.
Imagine being an alpha dog because you need a couple of alpha dogs on your defense and on your offensive line and leadership. Imagine having a coach that you knew was always going to be alpha over top of you.
That might be an issue right there. Yeah, it's true.
I mean, that's a good point. He might have to put on some pads.
He might have to play. He might have to get out there and play and show him how it's done.
I wouldn't hate that either. All right, let's get to conference championship preview.
Then we've got two great interviews, Julian Edelman and Greg Maddox. Coming up before we do that, Pepsi.
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Tune in on February 7th for the Pepsi Super Bowl Halftime Show. Award-winning artist, The Weeknd, will be performing live on the world's biggest stage.
And go to pepsihalftime.com to check out exclusive behind-the-scenes content, AR filters, and more for the halftime show. I love the Super super bowl halftime show it's always great it does feel like it's it's an event it feels like an event i know they announced it like two months beforehand it feels like an event they have uh blinding lights playing on every commercial which is a banger so i'm not even mad about that but pepsi has the best halftime show out there uh february 7th the big game for the pepsi super bowl halftime show the weekend will be performing and you can go right now to pepsi halftime.com to check out exclusive behind the scenes content ar filters and more for the halftime show thank you to pepsi i actually once i checked into my hotel room i had a refrigerator full of Pepsi.
So I am good to go for the weekend. Go again, pepsihalftime.com.
Thank you to Pepsi, our wonderful sponsor. All right, conference championship.
Let's do it. Let's start with the Battle of the Bays, or as Chris Berman used to call it, the Bay of Pigs.
Tom Brady going up to Lambeau. I have talked myself

into the Bucs being able to beat the Packers.

No surprise. But I

have. I have fully talked myself into it.

I don't know. I just have talked myself into

it. I have talked myself into it.
I don't think

so. I don't think so.
I think Green

Bay is going to be able to handle it pretty easily. The weather

right now, it's scheduled to be

29 degrees and snowy

in Lambeau Field. Like that to me

just, that's a Packers win.

God is on their side this week.

I have a crazy...

Let me try to phrase it to you

in a way that you can accept the fact that the

Packers are going to win. Just say like,

this feels like an Aaron Jones game to me.

But they can't, the Bucs defense is

run defense is the strength of their defense. In Vita Veya, I don't know if he's going to play.
It'd be crazy if he did. But if he plays even half the snaps, that's a nice addition for them.
I just, here's what I, like I look back at the Packers season. They're not frauds.
They're clearly not frauds. Aaron Rodgers has been playing.
He's the MVP. He's been playing at an incredible level.
I I just think it's going to be a coin I think both of these games are going to be coin flip games that whoever makes a play like late in the fourth quarter I know this sounds cliche but it's clearly like this is actually saying something with how good these teams are you're not going to have Tom Brady panic you're not going to have Tom Brady like go behind it you know what I mean like the Packers game script pretty much every game is they come out hot they're really good in the first and second quarter and then they'll sit on the ball a little bit Tom Brady is not gonna be afraid if they're down 14 nothing right out of the gate they were down 10 nothing and then they won 38 10 earlier this year um I have a crazy stat for you that that Hank you to love this. I saw this tweeted out this weekend.
And we talked about Phil Rivers. It's a team sport.
So this is a team sport. Tom Brady obviously has been on some really good teams.
But if you took Tom Brady after turning 37 years old, he has 14 playoff wins. Peyton Manning has 14.
Peyton Manning's career Drew Brees career Aaron Rodgers and Ben Roethlisberger their entire career versus Tom Brady after he turned 37 Tom Brady has more playoff wins than Drew Brees Aaron Rodgers Ben Roethlisberger uh the same amount as Peyton Manning uh and like all these stats it crazy. He basically has a full career after the age of 37 that all these other guys have.

And I just – we talked about it on Monday, but he just –

when is he going to stop being – like, getting big wins that we don't expect, right?

Yeah.

I'm very much looking forward to this game.

I mean, Tom Brady and Aaron Rodgers in the playoffs against each other.

It literally does not get better than that in football.

It's a very difficult time. that we don't expect, right? Yeah.
I'm very much looking forward to this game. I mean, Tom Brady and Aaron Rodgers in the playoffs against each other.
It literally does not get better than that in football. It doesn't get better than that, period.
So I have talked myself into the Bucs beating the Packers because I know that I need, like, I think if the Packers get to the Super Bowl, then they're just going to win it. I just can't handle that.
I can't handle that. Okay.
I understand that, but I still think the Packers are going to win this weekend. And we joked about Brady not being a cold-weather quarterback, being a Florida kid from California.
I do think that Bruce Arians is not a cold-weather coach. I think he's a warm-weather coach.
Yeah, but Brady's coaching now, didn't you hear? Brady's doing full-time play calling? What about Byron Wood? Yeah, that's right. Bruce Arians has just set himself up for the perfect.
He's just middled himself perfectly where he was criticizing Brady, and then once they got good, he's like, well, Brady's doing a lot of the coaching now. They didn't do that in New England, so that's why we're winning.
But then when they lose, you'll be like, well, Brady was coaching. I agree with you, PFT, in that we will get a – Bruce Arians' face looked like he had no oxygen in his skull when he was in a dome in New Orleans last weekend.
It was so right. It was Lambeau? Yeah.
In Lambeau, we're going to get Tom Coughlin's face to the max. I think you actually need to probably cover him in Vaseline before he even goes outside this weekend, just in case.
Because Bruce Arians, yeah, it is a life life alert he should have a life alert instead of the red flag just in case something goes wrong I'm gonna need a Pantone check on Bruce Arians face this weekend because last weekend it was it was like a purple it was it was like darker red than the team colors were so yeah gonna need a definite Pantone check on that he's probably gonna just have a flask on the sideline to keep warm. If I know Bruce Arians, he's got, yeah, he's got like a couple nips of crown stashed away.
Oh, man, I'm so nervous about this game. I really need the Packers to lose.
Can I just call something real quick? I'm just going to – a future call here. Aaron Rodgers, he announced that he was going to be doing Jeopardy or Sports Jeopardy.
He's going to be hosting it. I actually think that Aaron Rodgers is going to eventually be the full-time host of Jeopardy.
I think he's going to be, after he retires, I think he will. I thought it was Kenny.
Kenny the kid. I think Aaron Rodgers is going to like doing it too much.
And it combines all his favorite things. Mustaches, being smarter than everybody, and letting everybody know that you're smarter than them.
like i i think that he's going to really enjoy hosting jeopardy and just stick around so you're saying pretty much my only shot now at this point to get rid of aaron rogers i need like pat mcafee to have a kid and then keep that kid from eating beans and then have him tweet it and then get canceled and then cancel aaron rogers Okay. All right.
Well, I will work on that.

You can make that happen.

Yeah.

It's not that crazy.

I will try to get Pat McAfee's unborn child to get addicted to beans and never be able to learn how to use a can opener.

Fuck.

Fuck.

He's going to be around forever.

He just is.

By the way, I'm going to prop. I don't even know if the props are up yet.
I'm gonna get to my can't lose parlay I think Chris Godwin's gonna have a big game there it is Jair Alexander's one of the best corners in the league so I it's gonna be interesting like I think it's gonna be up to Antonio Brown if his knees okay Gronk Scotty Miller Chris Godwin to do a lot of the heavy lifting here playoff Lenny play. Playoff Lenny.
Buy the shirt now. We actually were collaborating with Playoff Lenny on this shirt.
That makes sense because I was confused why he was promoting the shirt. Yeah.
No, he hit me up. He's called Playoff Lenny and he's embracing the nickname.
Yeah, it's great. We better get a Playoff Lenny from Joe Buck this weekend.
All right. Over on the AFC.

It's 63 and a half yards for Chris Godwin.

Chris Godwin.

I like that.

All right.

I'm going to take the over and his catches.

All right.

So, AFC Championship game.

Now, I said it on Monday, and I'm sticking with it.

I think the Bills are going to win, and I wouldn't be surprised if they win convincingly.

I agree. And it's not just because I bet think the Bills are going to win, and I wouldn't be surprised if they win convincingly.
I agree.

And it's not just because I bet on the Bills early in the week

when I thought that Patrick Mahomes was going to be out with a concussion,

which is not going to happen.

He's just practicing.

He's just taking all the snaps and practicing.

And they're saying they had to delete a tweet earlier this week

because it was Patrick Mahomes very clearly as the number one quarterback.

And they're like, QB1. And meanwhile, after practice, after practice Andy Reid's like yeah he's in the concussion protocol and they had to delete the tweet because it's like yeah obviously he's going to be starting his foot is an issue the toe is an issue I'm kind of mad at you by the way because you let your human side you became too much of a human being like Patrick Mahomes might not play yeah and you you forgot that this is football and they're going to make them play no matter what.
I forgot that Roger Goodell was in charge of the NFL. Yeah.
You thought for a second that we actually cared about player safety. Yeah.
Roger Goodell probably would delay the game by a week. No offense to Colin Coward.
He probably would just to make Patrick Mahomes play. He would probably personally go to, he would infect himself with COVID and go into the Chiefs locker room and just piss all over the place, ensuring that they had enough tests to get the game postponed.
Yeah. And by the way, we care about player safety.
The NFL does not care about player safety. You want that on the record.
We do, but we just know better that the NFL does not and their star player is going to play and they'll find any way to spin it that it wasn't a concussion and it was a choked nerve and whatever it may be. I just think we're going to get the best Bills performance.
There has to be a point. The Chiefs have not covered in nine weeks now.
So I guess really if you're betting on the Chiefs this week, you're saying they're just going to flip that switch we're talking about and they will be those Chiefs. And maybe that's true because Patrick Mahomes still is the best quarterback in the NFL.
Yep. And those Chiefs, to be clear, if those Chiefs show up, I think those Chiefs beat those Bills.
But I think those Bills beat these Chiefs. Well, let me throw this out there too because remember those chiefs still last year were down what 24 to the texans 10 or 14 to the titans these bills are better than those two teams like they just are right so when they go down by by if they spot the bills 17 points that's going to be very difficult.
It's not the same as playing against a Texans defense that can't stop anything or a Titans defense that was slightly fraudulent. Like, it's just not the same.
But those Texans are very bad, don't get me wrong, on defense, but those Chiefs were just like, when they flipped that switch for the last three quarters of those games, they were unstoppable. The Bills can't stop that.
And they won so convincingly that if that switch does get flipped, I don't think that the Bills can stop that either. But I haven't seen those Chiefs with the exception of maybe like a couple halves this year.
When was the last time you saw them do that domicile? First half against the Bucs. Yeah.
First half against the Bucs. When they just torched the Bucs, that was the last time it really felt like those Chiefs showed up.
At what point, though, would they have to flip the switch? What I'm trying to say is the Bills are good enough that if you don't flip the switch in time, it will be too late. Like, it would be too late if the Chiefs are down and they're like, hey, we're just going to flip this switch in the fourth quarter.
I don't think that's possible against these Bills. I think 17 points at halftime, that's the cutoff line.
If it's 14, then the Chiefs are still in switch territory. If it's above that, then I think the Bills have it.
But, yeah, I agree. I think that the Bills are going to win.
And I might even double down on my bet because I feel it. Here's why.
Because I feel so shitty about the bet. I feel like I was an idiot for thinking that Roger Goodell was going to take player safety seriously and that Patrick Mahomes probably wasn't going to play a week after a concussion.
And at the time, hand up, I didn't know that he just had a nerve stroke or whatever it was. I thought he actually had a concussion because that's what was reported.
That's what he probably had. But I feel so bad about the bet and so uncomfortable with where I am.
I might double down on it because those are the types of bets that I usually win. I always lose the ones that I love, the ones that I'm super confident about.
Always, 100% of the time, lose those. So I feel a little dicey about it.
But I think I'm going to double down, and I think it's going to be Bills. I'm going to say Bills by six.
This is now making me very nervous because we're both way too confident in the Bills, and it feels like a Monday show where we're like, oh, yeah, Patrick Mahomes is the best quarterback on planet Earth. Whoops.
Yep. Yeah, what about Bucker, though? What about Bucker? Bucker's had issues.

What about Bucker?

He's got issues.

He is the opposite of me.

He can't hit a short field goal or an action point.

And I think we're going to get two wow Josh Allen plays.

I think we're going to get two plays where he's like, holy shit, a rival.

This could be the coronation of Josh Allen.

You think that goes both ways, though? Well, we know if it Patrick Mahomes. Of course.
No, I'm saying no.

Those are –

No, I'm saying no.

No, I'm saying no.

No, I'm saying no.

No, I'm saying no.

No, I'm saying no.

No, I'm saying no.

No, I'm saying no.

No, I'm saying no.

No, I'm saying no.

No, I'm saying no.

No, I'm saying no.

No, I'm saying no.

No, I'm saying no.

No, I'm saying no.

No, I'm saying no.

No, I'm saying no.

No, I'm saying no.

No, I'm saying no.

No, I'm saying no.

No, I'm saying no.

No, I'm saying no.

No, I'm saying no.

No, I'm saying no.

No, I'm saying no.

No, I'm saying no.

No, I'm saying no.

No, I'm saying no.

No, I'm saying no.

No, I'm saying no.

No, I'm saying no.

No, I'm saying no.

No, I'm saying no.

No, I'm saying no.

No, I'm saying no.

No, I'm saying no.

No, I'm saying no.

No, I'm saying no.

No, I'm saying no.

No, I'm saying no.

No, I'm saying no.

No, I'm saying no. No, I'm saying no.
No, I'm saying no., we know if it Patrick Mahomes, yeah. Of course.
No, I'm saying wow Josh Allen. Like, what the fuck? Oh.
Hating our friends. You guys talk about how he does crazy shit.
He just does like. He matches all the buttons.
Yes. You're right.
You're right. He panics and just.
Yeah. You're right.
He does do that. You're talking about a difference between like a wow play and a whoa play.
Yeah. You're talking about a, there's, Josh Allen has whoa plays where it's like, holy shit, that was incredible.
And then he also has no, no, no, no, no, no, yes plays. Yeah.
Where it's like, what are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? Oh my God, it worked. And then he's got yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, no plays.
Those are the ones where he matches the buttons. And then he's got whoa plays like he's a horse that needs to be restrained.
But either way, it's going to be fucking awesome. These are the two quarterbacks with the strongest arms in the league.
And it's going to be nuts. They're just going to be throwing the ball over the place.
So we're going to be wrong about one of these games or both of these games but i don't give a fuck because they are it is one of the most exciting championship you know sundays we've had in a long time it's the it's yeah it's the top four quarterbacks in the league would you not say agree it is the top four quarterbacks in the league this year yeah when does that happen where we get all the top four quarterbacks in the nfl this season are playing on championship sunday you't ask for more than that. And no matter what, we're going to get a great Super Bowl matchup.
It could be Mahomes-Rogers. It could be Mahomes-Brady.
It could be the first home Super Bowl for Tom Brady. That's going to be a great storyline.
Allen versus Rodgers. Jordan Love versus Chad Henney.
That's true. Matt Barkley could start in a Super Bowl.
There's all kinds of combinations. Whoever the backup in Tampa is, probably Byron Lefkowitz.
Ryan Griffin. Ryan Griffin is what I was going to say.
Tom versus Time. Tom versus Time.
Yeah, all of these things. Tom's been kicking Time's ass.
It really hasn't been a competition. Yeah.
No one beats time, but Tom Brady kind of has. Yeah.
All right. You want to hear the can't lose parlay? Let's see what you guys tell me which part of this loses.
Before you do, I got a question. Yeah.
The can't lose parlay has lost a bunch of money this year, right? Wrong. Thank you for asking, PFT.
So we went back. We were getting accused of being a losing bet every single week.
Yes, it has lost more than it's won, but guess what? It's always a big plus money bet. So if you had bet the Can't Lose Parlay every single week this year, you'd be up .75 units.
There you go. So if you bet 100 – no, I'm not going to say that.
Gamble responsibly, 1-800-GAMBLER. All right.
Michigan. Michigan is going to be live noon today.
Noon today, Michigan is going to be live. So the Can't Lose Parlay will be there.
You download the Barstool Sportsbook app. You put in money.
If you play with the money you put in, Penn is matching it for small businesses in michigan so it's going to the barstool fun so we are you'll see all types of promos ask yourself this do you want a promo that helps small businesses that helps your community that helps people around you well that's pen that is barstool sportsbook app so go download it put in money it's super easy process you can bet legally as of noon on today, and the Can't Lose Parlay will be in there. Also, it hasn't been fully set up yet, but I think I'm going to be introducing a new bet on Sunday where you get the combined points.
You can either bet the underdog or the favorite. So what is it right now? It's like three and three and a half.
Yeah. The game.
So it's six. You get six and a half.
So if like the Bucks win outright, you now have, say the Bucks win by three, you now have the Bills plus nine and a half. Carries over to the other game.
Yes. Okay.
Yes. Or if the favorite blows them out, so you can bet favorite or underdog and it's a combined bet.
Kind of a fun deal, right? I like it. I like that a lot.
All right, so here it is. Bucks plus 8.5.
Bills plus 8.5. Both the games over 45.
That's a can't-lose parlay. It's going to probably be like plus 400.
Thoughts? I love it. I'm scared how much I love it.
I love it, too. Wait, both games over 45.5? 45.
Over 45, and then it's 8 and a half?

8 and a half for both the teams.

It's going to be cold and snowy, though, Big Cat.

Snow doesn't matter.

Snow doesn't matter, Hank.

We're going to get to that with Jules in a second.

Yeah, you weren't paying attention to the interview, Hank.

I'm just saying.

I'm just trying to, you know, play those out.

Now, it can lose.

Just so everyone knows, it can technically lose, but it can't lose.

But also gamble responsibly.

If Patrick Mahomes' toe acts up. And by the way, the whole turf toe thing, turf toe is a very serious injury.
That's why I keep saying it's more serious than a concussion, even though it's not. Turf toe is just a completely mislabeled injury.
If it had a cooler name and a more dangerous sounding name to it, I think people would respect it a lot more. But turf toe just sounds like a stubbed toe.
They should call it don't know fire foot or trench foot paralyzed foot the devil's ankle yeah yeah can't can't walk injury yeah amputation diabetes pre-diabetes yes pre-death everything's pre-death right yeah it's serious though so just keep your eye on patrick moments right toe that's all i'm saying uh right, let's get to our interviews. And we have Julian Edelman and Greg Maddox.
Great two interviews, then we'll finish with Fire Fest the week. PFT, you had something you want to tell people about? Yeah, before we get to the interviews, I want to talk to you guys about Simply Safe.
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That's simplisafe.com slash PMT. And now here's Julian Edelman.
Okay, we now welcome on our very good friend, three-time Super Bowl champion, Julian Edelman. Future Hall of Famer.
Future Hall of Famer, Julian Edelman, on the show, been too long. Let's start here, Jules.
Can we get you to reconsider your retirement from football? You guys are nuts. What are you talking about? We don't want you to retire.
We don't want you to retire. What are you talking about? You're not retiring, correct? Right now we're being a dad right now, and we're sitting back, and we're training, getting our body ready for the next year.
And, you know, it's a time to get away from football right now. Okay.
All right. It's a long, crazy year.
Yep. All right, so breaking news, Julian Edelman is not retiring from football.
Thankfully, we could dispel that because we saw Phillip Rivers retire, and we're like, uh-oh, Jules is probably next. He had a great career.
He had an unbelievable career. But I don't know.
we're like uh-oh Jules probably next he had a great career he had an unbelievable career but uh I don't know we're not we're not there yet uh right now it's the time like I said it's gonna be this whole year was so jacked up man like it was so long I just need to decompress for a little bit and I'm out in LA right now and you know taking my kid to school and picking her up and doing those kind of things that you don't get to do during the season and and i'm enjoying that right now so don't necessarily know uh what you guys are talking about yeah i was joking it's more it's more along the lines of we've had so many of our stars retire recently that we're just leading every conversation off with, you're not retiring, are you? Because we're worried that everybody that we talk to is on the way out. But you're not.
You had a knee thing this year that you're recovering from. I wanted to clear this up right off the bat because I've been following Adam Schefter's Twitter account pretty carefully over the last six months, and he always uses this exact phrase about your knee.
Maybe you can explain to me what it means. Julian Edelman underwent a precautionary standard knee procedure this morning.
What's a precautionary standard knee procedure? That one baffled me too. I don't know.
I don't know who's leaking all these things, but old Chef Schepner. He has got me on this one.
Was it preemptive knee surgery? Because that's what it sounds like he said there. Yeah.
I don't know what he was trying to sound. I had to go in and get some stuff taken out.
I don't think any time you go into your knee, it's a good thing. So, you know, but O.
Scheffner, he's got his ways of putting everything. Are you feeling okay, though? He's always right.
Does it feel good? Are you healthy? I'm getting there, man. I'm getting there.
It was a rough year when it came to just my physicality and how I felt. You know, it's tough, boys.
It's tough. But this is the time where you sit and you self-reflect and you self-evaluate and you self-scout yourself throughout all of last year.
And you really go in and try to develop a formula and try to develop a game plan for how you're going to attack the offseason. That's the process I'm in right now.
So, scout. Yeah, so I was obviously joking you're not retiring.
But you say it's a tough year, and it's been a tough year for a lot of people. How weird is it to not be in playoff football right now? Because that feels like, for you at least, it was so routine that every year come January, you were ready to go.
You had your beard very long. I bet you that probably is nice not to have that long, gross beard because you're a good-looking dude, no offense.
Is it weird, though, to sit here in January and be like, I should be playing in playoff football right now? It is. Since I got to New England didn't, this is the first year we didn't win the division, let alone go to the playoffs.
So it's definitely, it's super weird sitting and watching teams play in the division round when, you know, usually this is your first week. you know you're going in and you're going to get some reps and put towards the game plan off the

bye week. There's always like a pep in your step, you know, the years of grind, the, you know, the first eight weeks, you're, you're cool because you're, you're coming off the off season.
Then, like, week 11 through 13, you're, like, miserable because things are nagging, things are adding up. And then usually you get a bye week going in.
I've been fortunate enough to be part of teams that have had a lot of bye weeks going into the playoffs, and that's when you get your, like, second, third win and things start realigning uh and that's when you're starting on your team so it's been it's been definitely different um you know but as a football fan i mean i've been sitting and watching games and you know it's been fun to watch the games and see some of your former teammates uh play on multiple teams yes it's been cool so you brought it up watching the tampa bay Buccaneers play, is it like the SpongeBob meme where you're up in the window and you're looking down and you're like, there's Bronc and Tom having a great... Oh, and then they have Scotty Miller down there.
That doesn't make me feel bad at all. Hey, he's a stud.
He's got some speed. No, it's kind of like a relationship where you guys kind of...
or a marriage where you grew apart, but you still love each other. You still love each other.
You still may have a couple kids. We have three kids.
So there's still communication of what you guys are going through and how you're doing. But you both got your own lives that you have to keep on, you know, going towards.
And, and that's, that's kind of how it's like, you know, I want to see those guys do well. It's, it's awesome seeing Gronk and Tommy doing well and playing and, and making big plays.
And, you know, right now it's, it's obviously definitely weird, but it is what it is. When is Tom Brady going to retire? Are you, you've been around him more than anyone else, you know, in terms of career-wise.
We're sitting here being like he's 43, and yeah, he's not peak Tom Brady, but he's still making throws down the field. It's not like some of the other older quarterbacks you've seen, Peyton or Drew Brees, on their way out.
Like, has this shocked you at all? Is there a moment where you're like, hey, he's got to eventually, like it eventually has to end, right? But maybe not. My respect level for Tom goes up each year.
The older I get. You know, I'm 34 turning 35, and, you know, it gets more and more difficult when you compound years in this league and to see him you know going out at 43 uh playing you know really good football uh it's it's it's inspiring that's what it is uh do i i don't know what his his plan is but knowing him i mean it's it's all when that little fire turns off in his little chest.
And I don't think that thing's going to be turned off here soon because he – that's the one thing that you can pull away from Tom when I've played with a lot of guys is his competitive stamina is second to zero to, like, to no one. Absolutely no one.
I mean he he comes in every day you know with a purpose with with you know trying to improve something uh he eats breeds and sleeps this stuff and you know i i've never doubted him and i don't think uh anyone should so i think he'll go when he wants to go. It does sound routine to just say that because it's cliche, and everyone's like, oh, yeah, this guy's competitive stamina or his competitive drive.
But I think about my own personal life. I take at least a half day off every day.
You know what I mean? There's a couple hours every day where I'm like, yeah, I'm going to sit back and just do nothing or scroll the Internet or watch some basketball. Well, scrolling the internet is also your job.
Kind of. So you're like, I'm going to look at the different websites for a couple hours.
But I have a competitive drive that's like medium, I would say. I mean, you guys are doing pretty well.
I mean, you're competing at a high level in this world that you're in. So I would say your competitive stamina is higher than what you think.
Well, that's also trick because i'll catch us yeah yeah like you appreciate that telling everybody that he doesn't work hard so then nobody else tries to work as hard as he does and then people like you are like no no big cat you do work really but there are days like tom brady would he come in on a well i guess during the week let's say off season would he come in like on a friday in the off season be be like, Hey, we're going to take a little easy today. Or it's like, no, I want to get this done.
No. I mean, anytime we go out and we would work, it, there would no, there would be no taking it easy unless it's, you know, like a down day and he has a certain amount of throws that he wants to do, or I have a certain amount of routes that I would want to do.
I mean, you would go into that, but it would be formulated. Right.
You know, like today is going to be kind of like a chill day, but he's going in with that glare in his eye, that stare that he has, and he's going to attack it. That's just the guy he is.
Now, I'm sure, you know, he takes days off and, you know, him and Alex have a, you know, a routine and a formula that they do where they probably, you know, look into all those things. How many throws he needs, how many this, how many of that.
You know, they've got it down to a science. I mean, the guy's been doing it for, this is his 21st year.
I mean, if you do anything for 21 years, I mean, you find ways to just refine and evolve and and get better at yeah i'm sure if you guys listen to your interviews from what like five years ago you're like damn i wish like what was i sounded like you know what i mean yeah yeah no the one with more is pretty good but it is wouldn't you say there are definitely like fridays or you know a monday we're like hey I'm just going to kind of hang out a little bit. I'm going to fuck around.
This feels like a fuck around day. There's no purpose to my day today.
Yeah. There's definitely those days.
Yeah. I mean, we all have those days, but sometimes you have to like, you have to schedule that day just for your mental clock, for your mental well-being.
Like, all right, well, I've been grinding way too hard for these last, like, six, seven days. Let me have a day or two or, you know, I go two days on, one day off.
You know, I mean, there's a lot of things you got to take care of, especially in the off season. You know, but during the season, there's an old saying that Bill would say.
You know, he would sit and say, put everything in the drawer and deal with it after the season like like he'd bring up this drawer like four or five times like after week 14 like all right put it all in the drawer we got you know we got to go out and do this you know we all understand you have bills taxes like let's just put it in the drawer

and we'll worry about that after the season.

I like that.

I'm going to start saying that.

I also like that you bring up scheduling your downtime

because if you schedule a shitload of downtime, then that's technically work.

True.

So you're not wasting.

True, it's a rest day.

It's a rest day.

Yeah.

If you just call it a rest day and have it on your calendar,

you can be as much of a degenerate as you want that day and it's like listen this is this is self-care today you gotta recharge the batteries gotta recharge the batteries sometimes you need you know just to chill and hop on a war zone game or or watch some some tv some netflix or something and just chill yeah you want to squad up in war zone sometime i mean i think we haven't we? You and I have, yes. I don't think I've played with you yet.
I've got a team going. Me, Hank, and Aaron Ripkowski are just shredding fools on Warzone recently.
Are you doing Resurgence, the quads Resurgence? Are you doing an actual old map? No, we're in Verdansk, big time. I like to keep it in the new, what is it? Rebirth.
Rebirth, yeah. I like the rebirth.
It's quicker. It's just quicker.
It's fast-paced. You guys can respawn.
There's a little different kind of strategy towards it. My ADD can't kick in.
Yeah, you get a lot of reps.

You operate a different speed.

Playoff football.

By the way, what do you think Bill Belichick is doing right this second?

Because that's, I mean, you are a player, so like you said, you're working on your body, taking the recharge. He's got to be going crazy, right? Oh, well, he's one of the most extraordinary humans when it comes to never really getting complacent and dealing with his time to make the team better so like the fact that we're not in the playoffs right now he's probably putting in extra time to evaluate going forward what we have to do like it's a full self scout he'll have like everyone in the building working on every single player on the, the squad, on the, on the practice squad and evaluating every single thing that everyone does.
And then that's how he goes into like the draft and then going from the draft and the free agency. I mean, March 15th is when we start, you know, I think he's, he's probably doing a lot And, you know, he's big into the player personnel thing as well.

I got to assume that you're definitely rooting for the Buccaneers, right,

out of the NFC?

You know, I'm just rooting for people to do well.

Interesting.

Why aren't you rooting for the Bucs?

Interesting.

Hey, I only root for one team.

Who's that? I only root for the Bucs? Interesting. Hey, I only root for one team.
Who's that?

I only root for the San Francisco 49ers.

Okay.

That's who I grew up.

I mean, I grew up in the Bay Area.

What about in the AFC?

Is there a part of you that you respect the Bills

because you've been playing against the Bills twice a year for forever

and you'd like to see them do good?

Or are you finding yourself rooting more against them because they are kind of one of your rivals? I'm excited for the Bills. I'm super excited for that team, that city.
I mean, I've gone there for a lot of years, and their fan base is crazy. It's everything that everyone thinks it is.
It's one of the most extraordinary places to play. I mean, I've literally been on a field and seen a dildo thrown on the field.
Like, it's unreal. Every time you go in there and you win, they have the most creative ways to flip you off that I've ever seen in my life from everyone.
I'm talking six-year-olds, grandmas, parents. I mean, it's unbelievable.
To see them do well, man, I think it's cool for the league. I mean, I think it's great for the league that they're doing well.
And, you know, Dayball over there and that coach and staff, he was part of ours for a while, and we had a good relationship. You know, I've sat and talked with Beasley over the years

of just picking each other's brains

and seeing Josh Allen the way he's been able to play in addition to Diggs.

I mean, Diggs has been an absolute monster in that offense,

and they're scheming up things for him,

and they just got a good thing going.

It'd be pretty cool to see a team like that going and do well.

Yeah. What temperature does it officially suck to play football in where's the where's the cutoff i would say uh when you start hitting in the teens when you start getting teens because in the wind brings you below like zero those are always the tougher ones when it's windy i mean if it's cold and it's still it's fine if it's cold and it's still it's fine it's more if it's cold and you have that wind and that wind's blowing i mean i remember we played a game in 13 against denver it was windy as heck and it wasn't the coldest game it was probably like maybe 28 degrees but like the wind was ripping.
And once you get that wind, it just goes through all the layers of clothes and it's miserable. The ball's hard.
Your hands hurt. So I would say, you know, that teen area is pretty tough.
Yeah, because I still pick. Go ahead.
No, go ahead. I still pick to play in the cold, though, over rain any day.
Really? Like a 37-degree rain is the worst thing to play in when it's so cold, but it's still really cold, but it's wet. You'd rather go in the snow or have it cold.
In the snow, I would assume the snow always, like people think whenever they see snow, like, oh, there's going to be no offense. But I always assume that the snow is good for the offense because you know where you're going and they don't.
So you always get a little bit of a benefit in the snow, right? I love the snow. I was a mutter.
I'm a mutter. So like, you know, if you have good balance and like you said, you know where you're going, the defense is doing it backwards.
I mean, I've had some, I've had, I've loved playing in the snow over the years we've had some cool games against tennessee and chicago we went to chicago soldier field and like scored that was enough yeah yeah that was that was honestly one of my favorite games in my career just because of i've never been i never really knew about soldier field and they like redid it and we had the snow game in chicago and we had the i think we had the old unis on too. It was fun.
I've heard that Bill likes to put the thermometer in the visiting team's hallway. So they have to see what the temperature is.
And sometimes he'll make it like a few degrees extra cold. So they have to like look directly at it when they're going on the field.
And he doesn't put that in your tunnel on the way out on the field. Is that true? I do not know any of that.
You know, I don't know if that's regulation or anything. He's got your program.
We float at a good area. You know, we abide by everything that you can and cannot do.
How much time during it? That does bring up. I remember I remember playing against the Raging Cajuns and they had the similar thing like that back in college

and they're like, you're 50 feet below sea level,

like the temperature's hotter,

like right in front of our locker room is...

But not New England.

How much time during the week

do you have to just rehearse in front of the mirror

the boilerplate talking points

that Belichick has approved for you?

I like to do...

I mean, I've been doing it for a while

I'm sure it's tougher for the younger guys. Speaking of your old games, what was your favorite game non-Super Bowl that you think back is there or maybe this question do you ever like if you dream or you find your mind going to a specific game over time which game is it i had the last two games my favorite game was definitely when we went to the afc championship in kansas city i thought you're gonna say That's probably one of my all-time favorite games.
Because they just didn't guard you on third down. Any third down, they just weren't guarding you.
Hey, I don't know. But I remember we went to two or three AFC Championships prior to that in Denver and got beat.
And there was like a stigma that we could only win, you know, at home and going there and playing. I mean, that team's an electric team in an electric stadium.
That place gets rocking. That was the fun.
That was just like a very fun football game. Just the competitive level.
Going back and forth. I mean, it was insane, honestly.
I remember on that penalty, I always think about this. I forgot who it was, but on the penalty where Tom threw the pick and it was offsides, one of the safeties came up to me and said, you guys had a hell of a year.
And I was I was sitting there and I'm like, fuck that dude. Did we really just lose? And then I saw the flag.
It was Dee Ford. Yeah.
And I was like, Holy moly. I literally saw like that year in front of my eyes of all the hard work and everything that you do for a season.
I'm like, it just went to shit like that. And then we had like a second life it was insane uh that was a crazy cool game and then i was i was really uh in 15 when we went to denver we were kind of banged up and we lost on a two-point conversion you know that was that was a rough one that i think about a lot the air that was the air one dave said, because we were giving him shit on the rundown, he said he forgot to account for the air.
So maybe that's what happened. He just didn't – he forgot that it was mile high.
I'm not even going to lie, bro. We were sitting there.
It was Peyton's, like, you know, later years. And we're like, Denver, January, it's going to be freezing.
There's going to be snow. We're going to have crazy competitive advantage.
Peyton can't hold the ball, this, that, which he could do, but you always want things to go in your favor, at least what we thought was. And then it was a 75-degree, beautiful day, unreal.
They ended up playing a great game. We were we were banged up and and just couldn't get make make enough plays but yeah and that one that one sticks out i don't like that one i like a big cat phrase that question like do you dream like when you dream about football do you actually dream about football i do i have the same dream that i've been dreaming since I was like 18 or like 13 years old.
There was this place in Santa Clara. I think it could have been Santa Clara High.
We used to play this little Pop Warner team. And I remember I went up the sideline and I broke like a run.
And I always want and I remember talking to like this older football football player he was in high school and he told me to try to do like a stiff arm spin like stiff arm him and then spin on him and I I didn't do it one time and I think of that same play like I gotta use this stiff arm spin at the sideline like I still think about it too it's all right it's gnarly have ever pulled it off in a game? Never. You've got to do it.
You've got to keep playing until you do it. That's when you know that it's time to retire.
That's future Julian, like an interstellar. That's a great white buffalo.
Walk off. Literally just walk off after that play.
I'm just like, I'm done. I've accomplished everything.
The sideline's so i'm the fifth elo and i see it and then it just comes or what no so like future julian is going to be pushing books off of a bookshelf telling you letting you know when it's time for you to to retire and it's going to be like he's going to come to you during a play and it's going to be set up perfectly you're a stiff armored dude on the sideline spin around him gain a couple extra yards maybe even get a touchdown and then at that point you'll know that it's time like he'll send you a message from the future there

has to be like yeah like something happened to the scoreboard because sometimes when you're running

in the open field you'll look at the scoreboard so you'll look at the scoreboard I always like

to look to see in the rear view if you could you know you got to throw on the jets or something

so something happens in there you see something on the scoreboard and you pop out the spin

So, let's go. So you'll look at the scoreboard.
I always like to look to see in the rear view if you can, you know, you got to throw it on the Jets or something.

So if something happens in there, you see something on the scoreboard,

and then you pop out the spin.

We're going to keep the arm spin.

We're going to make sure that this happens at some point for you.

It's got it.

Yeah.

It's got it. Can we play a little word association here?

I'm just going to say, like, two words at a time,

and then you just tell me what you think about those two words.

All right, first one one deshaun watson insane insane insane uh insane carson wince just random words how many words can i use as much as you want. Whatever you want.
Looking forward to the next opportunity.

Okay.

Mitch Trubisky.

Mitch Trubisky.

That's good.

That's actually a good analysis right there.

Just his name.

Yeah.

Mitch Trubisky. Mitch Trubisky.

James Winston.

Ooh, good one.

I mean, you're only as good as your last throw. Oh! Oh, I think we found one.
Jameis to New England. It happened.
There it is. Perfect.
I saw that play. I knew you guys were going to go absolutely bananas over that whole thing.
Yeah. It was a great throw.
How could you not? What would you do if you were in the huddle and your quarterback, whether it be Tom Brady or it was Cam Newton this year, tried to eat a W right in front of your face? I would try to get a side of it. Get a side of it? You done with that? Yeah.
Yeah. You're going to eat.
Oh, you got some some there's still some meat on that bone let me get a little let me get a little lick on that is a w vegan because cam noon he doesn't eat meat at all right no he does not eat meat oh okay billy football thinks that that makes him a bad quarterback you know that right this billy football where's he at where is this guy he's not here we don't got him he's guy? We don't got him? He's in the protocol. No, he's in the protocol.
He's in the protocol right now. Is he fighting Canseco? Yes, yes.
But he's currently in the protocol. What protocol? Not concussion.
Over the course of the week, there are certain steps that we take and we look at every day as an opportunity to get better. And Billy is certainly looking at all those steps to get better right now when next question billy's ready to be medically cleared he'll be medically cleared that's all we're going to say about that day better than yesterday he's just a day better than yesterday yeah that's right do you think are you worried about it do you think he can beat canseco i don't know i hope he doesn't get killed by canseco i don't care if care if he does.
Canseco's a big love of flaccid meat. He sucks.
So I don't know what Billy football looks like because I listen to you guys. Right.
So I really don't know. I have no clue what he looks like.
Is he blonde? Yeah. What does he sound like? Describe how he sounds.
I didn't think he was like a blonde kid. I thought he was maybe like a short, like, Burnett kid, like maybe a little pudgy.
You're talking about me. You're just describing me.
Yeah, both of us. Nah, you have lighter hair.
I'm talking like a real dark Burnett. He's like 6'2".
No, 6'3". Yeah, he doesn't look like this.
He's like 230 pounds. I think he's going to win.
I really do because he's quick. And he played in college, well, kind of.
He kind of played football. Well, no, he played football.
He played football. He actually was, I'll send you a highlight.
He was a beast. I don't know, but Jose Canseco, I mean, he's a man.
But, I mean, you went up against some big dudes yourself. You're undersized for a wide receiver, for an NFL player.
Like, you know that it's not about the size of the dog in the fight. It's the size of the fight in the dog.
Fact. Yeah, but the dog still has to have something in him.
Like, I don't know Billy like that. He just seems like a good little kid.
He seems young. He is young, but he's also built different.
He's 17. No, he's like, his brain is 12, but his body is like 23.
He ran a marathon with no training whatsoever. Just got on the treadmill and did it.
So, like, he's a good athlete. I mean, that's impressive.
he seems like he knows all this stuff no for sure yeah he he thinks that he knows he knows a lot of words but i don't think he knows what any of them mean sometimes i'm trying to find a video that i can uh a highlight tape video that i can send to you that will will hopefully change your opinion and you'll be completely Team Billy football. Oh, I got a question for you.

I'm not Team Billy football.

I want Billy to do well, but I just, I mean, I don't know.

How old is Canseco now?

Like 50, 100, 110?

He's super old.

I mean, he's getting old.

I'm just going to take a guess here, Jules.

I don't think Canseco's on the TB12 method. I don't think it's going to say it goes on the TB12 method.

I don't think he's skipping strawberries and ice cream and stuff.

Yeah, I don't know.

We'll see.

It'll be a good fight.

Do you have any advice for him as a scrappy, undersized dude?

When you were going into a game and you knew that you were going to have to do a lot of run blocking

and you had to set an edge out there and block a dude that was 70 pounds heavier than you, how would you prepare for that? That's when you just take a teaspoon of cement, you let them drop, and you just got to go. Take a teaspoon of cement.
You have to be careful with how you phrase that because Billy actually actually will and yes so cement so a little cement

nah nah yeah yeah um he's a big kid i just saw a picture of him yeah here watch that video i just

sent you and we'll end with that by the way you're wearing a ph what the hell's the ph what is it ph

water yeah bro perfect hydration it's uh it's a it's a great water company what is this uh you

sent it to me on the internet?

Yeah, I just texted you.

No, I just texted you.

Oh, text.

Yeah, I just texted you a video of Billy Football,

and then you tell me if you think he can handle it.

His selection is...

It's his huddle video.

So, yeah, it's a standard huddle soundtrack.

Is that one play?

Yeah.

He's searching for it it he's the quarterback there we go yeah there we go see him fucking truck that kid truck stick yep that's really football that just helped me out that just helped me out right there yes you got it yes you might have it we might need you to have a video because remember you jules actually helped hank in his fight sending a video pumping him up so we might have to call on you to pump him up as well because i know he would get uh very excited about that how's all hammer and hank doing he's great hank you want you want to chime in yeah great he's great how you doing hank i'm i'm great? I've just been chilling, you know, doing my thing. In Verdansk with PFT.
He's taking a mental year off because the Patriots didn't make the playoffs. He's been very, you know, he's taking a mental year off.
It's a COVID year. It's not, you know, it's not a real year.
Yeah, 2020 was rough. It was a rough one.
But you're coming back. 2021.
Yes. Hank is also not retiring.
Yes. None of us are retiring.
Still here. This is the No Retirement Podcast.
Stairway to 7. Yeah.
There you go. Jules, thank you, man.
I just came up with that. As always, we appreciate it, man.
Always. Hank is just bashing Pittsburgh under his breath now.
Why? What happened with that? He doesn't like the fact... Because he thinks that New England is going to be the first franchise to ever get seven Super Bowls.
So he says stairway to seven. And Pittsburgh people think that they invented it, but they didn't.
That's a beef I don't know. Yeah.
There we go. All right.
Well, thank you, Jules. That's a beef you're not aware of.

Thank you, Jules.

I'm not aware of that one.

We're going to be watching for a stiff arm and a spin move on the sideline.

I love that, by the way. I love that so much because that was such a good peek into the difference between fandom

and actually playing the sport.

Everyone who's listening is like, yeah, fuck you, Hank, from stairway to seven.

And you're like, yeah, I have no idea what you guys are talking about i just go and play the games like and win the superbowls only three only three bro we don't win a lot oh all right yeah you're the best jules we appreciate it man all right fellas it's always a pleasure yeah good to see you buddy see ya jules is brought to you by our great friends over at 3Qi. 3Qi is the industry leader in Delta 8 THC products.
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Get 5% off your order. And now, the greatest pitcher of all time, Greg Maddox.
And now for something completely different. Okay, we now welcome on a very, very special guest.
It is Hall of Famer, one of the greatest pitchers of all time, Greg Maddox, absolute legend. Greg, you are here because there's a golf tournament coming up.
So January 21st to 24th at the Four Seasons Golf and Sports Club Orlando, the Diamond Resorts Tournament of Champions, $1.2 million purse. That's pretty nice.
So that's coming up and you can watch on the golf channel right yeah absolutely and uh i think that 1.2 is for the women i think the the guys are playing for like 500 000 so okay okay perfect it's in the tournaments raised uh almost four million dollars for charity so that's awesome yeah yeah real good event a lot of fun uh it's, for me personally, it's good to reconnect with all the guys I used to play with and against and also meet some guys from all the other sports as well. So it's a pretty fun event.
I'm glad that COVID didn't take this one over because it's something I've looked forward to the last couple of years. Yeah, does Smoltz make you put this tournament on every year just so he can win and get another trophy and collect that five hundred thousand dollar purse yeah i'll tell you what he's pretty good man he was swinging good today i know uh you know today was fun got a chance to play having smoltz he greg olson caddies for smoltz so uh uh it was a lot of fun being out there today that's great so everyone uh you can watch it on the golf channel uh and nbc actually NBC actually on Saturday and Sunday.
So I introduced you as one of the greatest pitchers of all time. I truly believe that.
It's great to have you on. Talk some baseball, whatever else you want to talk about.
I guess I don't even know where to start because there's so many awesome Greg Maddox stories. Where should we start? I'm a little intimidated by you as a guest.
Because your legend has grown over the years because I don't know how many people in our audience actually got to watch you pitch. I used to spend summers essentially just watching Braves games every single day.
So I watched you pitch a lot and there are a lot of Paul Bunyan type rumors about you. So maybe we can start out by knocking some of those out.
First one. True or not true.
Yeah, true or not true. Maybe expand on the story.
I like that. Yeah.
Did you intentionally give up a home run to Jeff Bagwell one time? Didn't intentionally give up a home run, but there are times where you try to have the hitter have some success off you. So, you know, he'll be sitting on it for the rest of the year.
So I think I had a coach that told me what do hitters remember,

and they remember success.

So if they get you on a certain pitch,

they're going to be sitting on it for a long time.

So the story goes that you essentially were like,

I'm going to let him have a little success knowing that I'll probably see him

in the postseason, and when I see him in the postseason, he'll be looking for that pitch and I won't give it to him. Well, hopefully that was the plan anyway, you know, but it did it mostly in spring training.
You know, I think you tried to plant a seed in guys heads in spring training and and, you know, try to get away from it once the season starts. I heard a story that you didn't even did you train in the offseason? You just show up to spring training and your command would be there and you'd be like, all right, let's go.
First time I'm throwing a ball since, uh, the playoffs last year. No, I trained, I trained, I didn't throw a lot, but, uh, I took care of my shoulder, uh, had a real good physical therapist in Vegas.
I went and saw him four times a week and, uh, learn how to take care of my arm and, and, uh, uh, definitely tried to take care of my body in the offseason. As far as the throwing goes, a little bit of old school.
You know, I'm going to kind of save my bullets for the season. And, you know, we had enough time in spring training to get ready.
You know, I didn't feel like I had to – I felt like I had enough time to get ready to throw 100 pitches just with the spring training going on yeah okay yeah go ahead i was gonna say there was another story out there about you that um when you'd be facing off against like gary sheffield uh who's extremely intimidating hitter i would imagine going up against uh you would sometimes be like you know what i'll let him get to the warning track on me as long as he doesn't hit a home run. That's not – well, no, that's not true.
I had one with Chef where, again, it was spring training, and Sheffield loved the ball inside. And if he got beat inside, he was not going to get beat inside ever again.
And I remember telling Chipper, he was playing third base at the time, and I go, hey, Chip, man, I'm going to throw Sheffield all fastballs in today. So if you want to back up and get in left field, go ahead, because he's going to rocket something down there.
But, no, I think Sheffield was our right fielder once, and I think it was a different hitter. And I knew that if I executed my pitch, that hitter would hit the ball right underneath that 390 sign in right center.
I knew he didn't have enough to get over it. I remember asking Chef, you know, hey, you see that 390 sign? If it lands, you know, five feet in front of it, it should be an easy play for you.
So I think that's kind of where that story came from. It wasn't against Chef.
Chef could hit it over that 390 sign. He was good.
Yeah, yeah. But there were a lot of hitters that had just enough power to reach the warning track to right field.
And, you know, as long as they didn't pull it, you can keep them in the park. Did you remember every pitch that you threw? Because I also read a story where you, you know, once everything became computers and you had a printed out script of like every pitch you had thrown and you went up to someone and you to someone you're like hey this is wrong like it says right here that I threw a fastball to Tony Gwynn in 1993 that was actually a change up like what's going on uh yeah it really wasn't like that I think a lot of it was uh they were they had that uh god what was it called the inside game or something they had some kind of scouting thing set up where they tracked all the pitches and everything, and this was late in my career.
And, you know, come to find out it was a bunch of college kids in Florida watching the games on TV and doing it. And, you know, they would get some pitches wrong on that.
I didn't remember every pitch I threw. I don't think anybody could do that.
But, you know, I watched a lot of video. I relied more on video and getting my own scouting reports than, uh, oh, the insight pitch.
That's what it was called. And, uh, you know, they just had all the stats on there and, uh, you know, you'd, you'd get, you'd pick your nuggets out of it.
There were some good ones on there. You know, you, I remember reading some of them and you know, the guy hit 080 on change-ups until strike one.
But after strike one, if you threw him a change-up, he hit like something like 520 on change-ups. So, you know, you could know and pick out stuff like that and use it to your advantage.

But, you know, again, the hitter had the same thing, too. I think everybody knew I was going to throw him a fastball away and a changeup.
So, you know, it's pretty much strength against strength. This is a testament, though, to the legend of Greg Maddox because you say, and you're right, you know, it would be impossible to remember every single pitch.
You threw so many of them. But if there were ever a guy to be able to remember every single pitch, it would be Greg Maddox.
Now, was there ever a pitcher or a hitter that you saw that thought the game the way that you did and used, you know, because I think you would say maybe you wouldn't because you're humble. But the way you thought the game, the way you saw the game was almost like a superpower compared to your competition.
is there anyone that you went up against it's like that guy clearly was thinking the game on a different level the level that i'm on a hitter hitter or a pitcher yeah i mean there there were a lot of guys you played the guessing game with you know i didn't uh i i really trusted what i saw you know i didn't have a game plan scripted out. I mean, I had an idea what the hitter's strength and weaknesses were, but I always trusted my eyes.
You know, hitters can change in a heartbeat. You know, they could, you could see them move up in the box.
You can see them move back. You could see their hips flying open.
I mean, I really trusted what I saw on the field and, you know, I kind of pitched off my last pitch probably more than anybody, uh, you know, ball or strike regardless. I think each pitch kind of sets up the next pitch and sometimes the hitter will do something that will make you, you know, maybe throw, throw it to a different area.
So, uh, you know, just a lot of trusted what I saw, you know, I had a pretty good, I had a pretty follow-through where I was able to see pretty good. Once the ball left my hand, I was kind of watching the hitter more than I was the ball going to the plate.
I read one time that you had three different circle change-ups. Is that true? Are there three different ways to throw a circle change? Yeah.
I mean, change-up, it's kind of a feel. And every five days, you're kind of throwing a difference.
You're just trying to find the right fill for it. And, you know, I had one circle change, but I had about five swing thoughts to go with it before I threw it.
And it was just a matter of finding what thoughts right for that day. You know, I knew as the game would go on, I always felt like my changeup would get better so uh we were talking about hitters you're you know you won four in a row Cy Young's which has never been done eight-time all-star hall of famer Tony Gwynn though Tony Gwynn yeah uh hit 415 off you and never struck out 107 played appearances what I struck him out once.
You struck him out once. You don't didn't call.
What was it about him? That's really the only guy, and we can talk about Barry Bonds too because you said you tried to pitch to Barry Bonds once and you realized it wasn't for you. But Tony Gwynn, what was it about him that would made him so special well uh he could he can hit a two hopper to the left fielder with the best of them and uh uh no question he was a very good hitter uh probably the best pure hitter that I played against uh Barry's easily the best hitter I've played against you know know, there's a little bit of a difference.
You know, he was hitting 485. I got him down 60 points late.
So, you know, my whole philosophy was if I can keep it in front of the outfield better than the guy I'm facing, then I'm going to win. And, you know, Tony Gwynn, Barry Bonds, as a young pitcher, that was when I learned how, you know, you don't beat hitters, you beat lineups.
And, you know, you have to pick your fights. And, you know, I was, I didn't want to give up a single to left with Tony Gwynn, but I sure gave up a lot of them.
You know what I mean? But try to keep it in front of the outfield. Make sure you get Tony Fern Tony Fernandez out Ken Caminetti and then you can still beat that team with Tony standing on first or second base do you think that's a lost art in today's game like beating a lineup not a hitter do you think guys are thinking that way or is it a lot more like mano-a-mano and trying to strike guys out because we've seen you know the game has changed a lot home run strikeouts you know guys pitching 100 miles an hour do you think that's lost you know I try to keep it in front of the outfield I see a lot of pitchers today trying to make a miss and uh you know they go strike one down when they want to and then you know you see a lot of balls out of the zone uh you know I like to attack the strike zone a little bit more just so I can pitch deeper in the games.
You know, I really believe and still do today that the hardest count to hit in is 0-2. And so why not throw a strike and make them hit 0-2? You know? I agree.
You see guys spray one up top, bounce two in the dirt, and then they miss. And now it's 3-2 and the hitter's back in the count.
So, you know, just a different philosophy now. I think if I threw 95 with a wicked slider like half these guys do today, you know, I probably would try to strike more guys out too.
I just really wasn't who I was or what I did. Was there a point in your career where you thought about going for it, where you were like, you know what, um, if I can get three, four extra miles per hour,

my fastball, I can become a dominant power pitcher. And you kind of had to reel yourself

back and say, Hey, this is what you do best. Why don't you just become the best at all time at it?

Yeah. You know, I felt my fastball was good enough.
You know, uh, I did throw it hard.

I might not have came out fast, but I put a lot of effort into my fastball. I think, uh,

Thank you. was good enough.
You know, uh, I did throw it hard. I mean, it might not have came out fast, but I put a lot of effort into my fastball.
I think, uh, uh, I was taught that movement and location are more important than velocity. I was taught that being able to change speeds was more important than velocity.
So, uh, you know, I just came up with a different coach. I learned that in high school when I was, uh, just I remember my coach told me at the time, he goes, you're going to throw hard enough to get drafted, but you're going to need movement to get to the big leagues and win in the big leagues.
I'll never forget that day. I was 16 years old when I was trying to make it sink.
Very fortunate to have that guy in my corner back then. His name was Ralph Meter, by the way.
He actually died my junior year in high school, but I spent about two years with him, and he kind of laid down the foundation for me, and it was all about movement and location. It was never about velocity.
That's what our guy Dan Heron says, future Hall of Famer Dan Heron. You agree that Dan Heron's a Hall of Famer, right? I have to look him up.
I know he was good back in the day. I know.
Didn't he win 20 some games with Arizona? Yeah. So with the A's to I think he has the lowest ERA in World Series history.
Minimum of six innings pitched the lowest. That's not a that's not a cherry pick stat or anything.
But yeah, he does. Do you speak of the Hall of Fame, what the hell was up with the 2.8% of voters?

That was a complete slap in your face. You should have been a unanimous Hall of Famer.

That's complete bullshit.

Well, thank you.

I mean, honestly, you're happy to get in.

I'm surprised I didn't piss off more writers than I did,

but it's a pretty big honor just to get in. You know, I'm surprised I didn't piss off more riders than I did, but, you know, I was, it's, it's pretty, it's a pretty big honor just to get in there and to be able to go there and walk down to, walk down from the hotel down where you have breakfast and, and see all the guys you looked up to.
You know, I grew up a huge Reds fan. So I remember walking down the stairs going into breakfast and I saw Joe Morgan and, uh, Tony Perez, Johnny bench.
And, you know, those are the guys that I idolized growing up and, uh, pretty special feeling. So, you know, the 2%, you know, what is it water off a duck's back or whatever? It is what it is.
I don't know. I hate those.
Yeah. What was the process like for finding out that that you got in uh i got a call from uh jeff idelson from the hall of fame and uh you know said you made it you know popped open a bottle of wine had a drink and you know got ready to get inducted the following year or the following summer of all the numbers that uh you have in in this and the crazy statistics is it safe to say that your stat that you uh went 10 straight seasons with at least one stolen base never getting caught stealing is that are you most proud of that because that's a hilarious and it feels like that was a greg maddox like you knew that in the back of your mind like i gotta steal a base steal a base and I can't get caught stealing.
You know, I never really got caught stealing a base. Okay.
I did get thrown out at third base twice because Chipper struck up. It was first and second, three, two count.
So, you know, Bobby sent the runners and, you know, Chipper struck out and they threw me out at third by 10 feet. But, you know, it was fun.
It was fun. It was fun being a baseball player.
You I I you know I don't not a fan of the DH I get it but uh I'm glad I never had I'm glad I never had a DH you know I enjoyed playing the game I enjoyed hitting running the bases and all that stuff it was uh it was actually fun it was a good time yeah and you're all-time coat guy on the base path which is a lost look we need pitchers to start doing that more yeah that's back in the day back in the 80s yeah yeah man you had to you had to have a jacket on out there did that actually help because i remember you would not only wear the coat on the base path but in between innings you would just put one arm into the coat just to keep just to keep your arm loose and warmed up for the next thing would that actually make make a difference? Kind of, I don't know. Just maybe superstition or whatever.
Who knows? I think, you know, just more comfortable with something on it than, you know, sitting there, you know, especially if it was windy. You know, you don't really want the wind blowing on it.
And, you know, just what it is, what it is. It's no big deal.
Probably superstition more than anything. Leo Mazzoni, the pitching coach, he was a big-time rocking guy.
If you've never seen him, he was always moving back and forth throughout the entire game. Did that make you nervous? I mean, it kind of bugs you a little bit.
I mean, you're trying to watch the game, and the guy's walking in front of you. But, you know, he did it every day.
You got used to it. You know, it was really weird my first year over there when he's up there rocking.
But, you know, you got used to it you know it was really weird my first year over there when when he's up there rocking but you know you get used to it over time and uh you know leo good coach some good philosophies about pitching uh you know enjoyed pitching for him as well have you thought about uh being a manager knowing that you know so much about the game and all these stories about how how you the game? No, not really. I think there's a lot more to it than that.
I think you got to be a leader. You got to get along with players.
You got to handle the media. There's a lot of responsibilities besides just the X's and O's.
I've always enjoyed the X's and O's. I did do a little part-time coaching and enjoyed that.
I was at UNLV the last four years doing that as well. So, I mean, you know, I do like being around the game.
I do like watching it. I enjoyed coaching just on a part-time level.
You know, I also enjoy being retired. It's nice to be retired and kind of do what you want to do every day.
You say that like you wouldn't be a great manager with like the clubhouse and the media. Like you're great with the media.
You're great. I mean, there's legendary stories that we can get into of Greg Maddox, the greatest pranker of all time.
Are you just being humble? Like you would be an incredible manager at the big league

level. Well, you have to, you know, what's the word I'm looking for? I mean, you have to be able to connect with all the players, you know, and, and, and manage each, each and every player separately.
Uh, you got to handle your coaching staff. I mean, it's, it's, it's a lot of time.
It's a lot of responsibility.

You know, that's something I don't think I, you know, like I said, I, I enjoy being retired as well. You know, I enjoy the game, but at the same time, I also enjoy being retired.
I mean, I played for 25 years and, you know, missed half of my kids growing up and it was kind of nice to catch up you know in their later teenage years and everything so uh uh you know i'm not a good enough people person i think to be the kind of manager that i would like to be i don't know about that because i big cat alluded to some of the pranks and we had tom glavin on the show he was one of our very first guests that we ever had and he told us a lot of great Greg Maddox stories. Not sure how many of them are 100% true.
There was one, I think, where you cleaned yourself with someone's undershirt. I'll put it that way.
Yeah, that was true. He said I wiped my butt on Walt Weiss's shirt.
Yeah, that one. See, I don't remember doing that.
And especially to Walt, cause I liked Walt. Walt was just a class act and a good guy.
And I'm like, there's no way I would ever do that to him. So, uh, somebody could have done it and I got blamed for it.
But, uh, I, I need to ask Walt about that. If next time I see him and say, Hey, Walt, is this true? Did I really do this to you? Because, I mean, I know, you know, as we get older, we forget a lot of stuff.
But I don't remember that. You're a bad liar.
You absolutely wiped your ass. Yeah, you absolutely did.
We also had Andre Dawson on the show, and he's told a story about you pissing in a hot tub uh okay that was true but that was just a joke

what about pissing on other guys like i feel like you were probably the most fun guy to be around in the clubhouse only if they got me first i would get even i would never start it but i would get even i mean that was kind of thing uh you know there is a different world back then you do that now, they might put you in jail for

two weeks.

That's true. Also also the clubhouse is like i mean the the cubs clubhouse up until like three years ago you probably could piss on everyone because the showers were like right next to each other so that probably helped with the pranks the uh proximity that everyone had together in old clubhouses yeah just stupid fun really is all it was you know guys having a good time and uh uh you know i mean it was there were some scenes in there and uh you know it was we had we had good times guys being dudes i think you're the i think you'd be the perfect teammate what was what was the worst that anybody ever got you uh i think blouser got me a couple times you know he would get you he would get you when you're in the crapper he'd do something to you when you're in there you could never see it coming so damn speaking of legendary stories is the brad penny story real so the story goes that brad you knew brad penny's pitching better than brad penny and uh you once called an entire game for him uh and i think he shut out the cubs and you were calling every pitch for him from the dugout yeah yeah well i had just gotten traded from the cubs to the dodgers and uh he was in it and you know ask if i'd do it and i said yeah i'll do it i enjoy doing it i'll do it and it and, you know, asked if I'd do it.
And I said, yeah, I'll do it. I enjoy doing it.
I'll do it. And, yeah.
And, you know, he threw every pitch right where he was supposed to throw it. I mean, it was pretty impressive how well he'd located not only his fastball but his breaking ball and changeup that day.
I mean, it was a pretty solid game. So, I mean, his command was so good.
Even if you screwed up and called the wrong pitch, you still put it in a place where they couldn't hit it. One of my favorite rivalries to watch was you against the umpire's brain.
So you would get some strikes called that other pitchers wouldn't get, but it's because you kind of like lead them into calling those strikes. And then I'm sure at some point in your career, the umpires heard all this and they're like, we need to call greg a little bit tighter so then you had to like overcome the umpires being afraid to call those outside pitches or those pitches inside on the left-handed batter how would you manipulate the umpires brain over the course of a game you know i wouldn't i never did that i i had my catcher set up in a certain spot and i tried to throw it there and uh uh know, we took a lot of abuse for that.
Not only me, but, you know, a couple other guys on the team. And I remember charting pitches like for Glavin and Smoltzy.
And, you know, if the umpire was given, you know, two or three inches off one side of the plate, they would throw it there. If, if the other pitcher did it, the umpire would still call it.
But the thing was, we'd throw like seven or eight pitches out there and the other pitcher would throw two or three. And then, you know, we would get accused of getting more pitches than the other guy.
And, uh, came down, we were making more pitches than the other guy. I mean, the strike zone's the same for both sides.
And, you know, I mean, a lot of that left in the mid-90s, you know. I think there were certain players that had different strike zones.
There were certain pitchers that had different strike zones. But, you know, it was, it, that left probably in the 90s.
So, you you know tony gwen was the hardest guy in the world to get strike one on you know and the pitcher comes up he could throw it anywhere and get strike one so there there was a different set of standards back in the 80s early 90s but uh it kind of got cleaned up pretty pretty quick what did you think of the entire Astros controversy and you know the like obviously they got caught

cheating pretty pretty quick what did you think of the entire astros controversy and you know the like obviously they they got caught cheating uh what like what was your take on it were you were you mad because it's like hey we i did it with my brain i didn't need you know computers and and uh you know video cameras in the outfield and stuff like what what was your where'd you ultimately land on that that's a different way of cheating i mean uh you know uh if a pitcher's tipping pitches or or a hitter's tipping location or one of your filters is moving too early and giving away pitches uh that's baseball that's one thing you know you got to be able to uh disguise your pitches but you know to have to have some guy on a computer and a button sitting in the video room and, and seeing what the catcher's putting down. I mean, that's, there's, there's no place for that in the game.
That's, you know, that's cheating. That's cheating.
That's not looking for an edge. That's flat out cheating.
And you know, I was pretty disgusted with it. I'm not going to lie to you.
I think it's a shame that they would do that. You know, I know you hear growing up, if you're not cheating, you're not trying.
But, I mean, that's a whole new way to cheat right there. You know, I think it's, you know, if you're going 70 in a 65, it's not that big a deal.
But, you know, you start going 100, it becomes a big deal. And I think they just kind of went over way overboard on that do you think you would have still been able to get the entire astros lineup out peak greg maddox astros cheating no i don't think anybody could have got them out if you know if they know what's coming good hitters too it's not like they needed to cheat they had some pretty good hitters yeah so you know uh yeah it was a shame it happened And, you know, I kind of feel bad for the Dodgers, you know, for that.
Yeah, yeah. Is it – when you're looking at an opposing batter and you're trying to get inside their head and figure out what pitch they're sitting on, how much of that did you use to rely on the study that you put in before the game and how much based on, like, their body language or the situation, like, would you try to get actually inside their head and be like, this is Aubrey Huff.
He's dumb as shit. He's going to be sitting on a fastball.
Well, yeah. I mean, you thought that way sometimes, but mostly you wanted to know how the hitters saw the ball coming out of your hand.
And you know, if, if I, if I knew how he saw the ball coming out of my hand, uh, I know I could throw cutters, sinkers, and change-ups all kind of through the same spot and have, you know, have one pitch end up in three different places. So, uh, that was kind of how I looked at it.
So a lot of it, that's when I said it goes pitch to pitch based on the last pitch, what you throw next. A lot of it has to do with where did he see that last pitch come out of my hand at? And how can I throw that pitch again and have it be something different? That was kind of what I was trying to do.
So the quote that I alluded to earlier about Barry Bonds, which is very funny, you said, how do I pitch to Bonds? Very simply, I did not. Tried it once, Wasn't for me.
Yeah. No, he was the easiest guy in the league to pitch to.
I mean, because you throw him fastballs away, and if it mattered at all, you just walked him. So he was like, no stress.
That dude was so easy to pitch to. It's just fault for being as good as he was.
But, yeah. I mean, I mean, the big thing with Barry Bonds is, again, it goes back.
You've got to get the guy out before him and the guy out after him. So, you know, look at the year Jeff Kent had that one year.
Jeff Kent was a pretty good player, and, you know, he got everybody after Barry. And also, you know, there's kind of the Barry Bonds effect.
You know, if you're a pitcher and you're out there and you're facing the best player in the league, as soon as that at-bat's over, you kind of go, okay. And the next at-bat kind of sneaks up on you.
So I think, you know, you have to be very aware of after you have a matchup like that, that you don't let your guard down before the next guy steps in. What was your mindset as you were pitching during a game? Were you one of those guys that goes out there and you're nervous, you have to chug Pepto-Bismol before your appearance, and you use those nerves or were you calm? Both.
You know, I think a lot of nerves and, you know, you're a lot of calmness as well. So I think, you know, you'd have to fight through the nerves some games and some games you wouldn't.
Some games you'd be calm. But, you know, I tried to stay calm on the days I pitched.
You know, I didn't, you know, I didn't try to come to the park and put my game face on and be Johnny Tough Guy and all that like you see some guys be. I was who I was, and I try to keep it as simple as possible.
If I could just locate and change speeds, I think I'll be okay. What are you most proud of? Let's just call it your Cy Young Awards or the season that you hit, was it 224? Well, I mean, I'm most proud of winning the World Series in 95.
I mean, to me, that was the highlight of, you know, my career. You know, the Cy Youngs are cool.
The Gold Gloves are cool. Hitting home runs, that's way cool.
I mean, it's pretty cool hitting a home run. That's probably cooler than still in the base.
But nothing tops that ring. I mean, when you get a chance to share success with you know your teammates your coaches your your neighbors in atlanta you know that you you you know live around with all season and and you know just just be able to share something with the whole city was pretty cool so this question sucks so i'm just going to preface it with it but.
But it is something we talked about actually this week with Drew Brees retiring.

Is there a part of you that looks back on that Braves, the 90s,

and winning all those division titles and being like,

man, we should have had one more.

Like we should have had one or two more.

Absolutely.

You know, it would have been nice to win four or five.

You know, I thought there were a couple years where we were easily the best team,

but we didn't get it done. And, you know, it was a tough pill to swallow.
You know, the 14 straight division titles and to be a part of 11 of those is pretty special. You know, I think that's never been done in any sport.
That's something I feel pretty proud about. You know, it's kind of hard to complain when, you know, you go to the postseason every year and you don't get a ring.
You know, it's pretty special just to go to the postseason. It's not as easy as we made it look.
And, you know, I'd love to have a few more rings, but, you know, I'm happy I got one. If you were to take one guy besides you, you can't use yourself.
If you've got Smoltz, Glavin, and Avery all at their peaks and you got one game to win, who would you send out there? Oh, that's a tough one. You couldn't pick a wrong guy, really.
I mean, all three answers are right. I think flip a coin between Smoltzy and Glav.
I think Avery was pretty good, too. I mean a tough question I mean you know I think looking back at it Smoltzy probably had the better track record in the postseason but then again Glav did win the deciding game and threw a shutout you know to get the World Series ring so you know they're both pretty special pitchers.
What about expanding that what about expanding that to any pitcher that was in the big leagues when you pitched in your career? Who's the one guy that you'd be like, that's the guy I'd put out there? Probably Mariano Rivera. Okay.
You know, I know he's a closer. If you had to pick a starter.
Yeah. I mean, you know, for my money, I always thought the best pitcher was Clemens coming up.
You know that I played with in my era. I thought he was a complete dominant pitcher.
I think he had not only the great stuff, the great God-given ability to throw fastballs and sliders and command, I thought he had really good game plans as well. I thought he, I thought he was a very good pitcher that had great stuff.
And, you know, he was just kind of known for blowing guys away and everything. But I think he was a complete pitcher.
I saw him, you know, pitch to both sides of the plate up, down, hard, soft, in out. It was, it was pretty impressive.
I would take Tim Wakefield at his best. Like on one of the nights when, I don't know, the humidity was just right and the ball was dancing.
It was impossible. Yeah, he was.
Yeah, did you ever think to yourself, like, maybe I should give this knuckleball and shot? I mean, I tried to throw a couple. I know my hands were too small, so I could never really do it.
I bit my fingernails and had small hands, so pitch kind of wasn't for me. Bad combo.
I think I remember you having a special catcher. There would be like Maddox catcher nights when Javi Lopez would take a night off.
Did that ever piss Javi off? Was he ever like, hey man, I'm not chopped liver. I'm pretty good.
No, not at all. My first year with Javi, I mean, I won 20 games with Javi and then come up the following year.
And Bobby said that he wanted Javi to catch like 140 games a year, something like that, or 120 games a year, I think is what it was. And he said, if he gave Javi my games off, he would only have to find like 10 more off days during the season.
So that was kind of a whole thing about that. That was Bobby managing 160 games, not just for that night.
So I always got the backup guy, and it worked out good. You start to develop really good relationships with your catch And, you know, he was as fired up to play as I was because we both sat on the bench for the last four days.

Yeah.

And you're missing the other point is that you actually proved that you could catch Greg Maddox with your eyes closed. Like that actually is something that was proven.

We did do that one day in the bullpen in San Francisco.

But I was with the Padres then. And we were just screwing around and having fun at like 2 o one day in the bullpen in san francisco but i was with the uh padres then

and uh we were just screwing around having fun at like two o'clock in the afternoon one day and uh

uh god i'm trying to remember the guy some crazy australian guy you know and uh kairi ervin it took

about four or five throws before he finally caught one yeah so so there was a guy standing there's a

guy standing a few feet there's a guy standing a few feet from the catcher and he would say

Thank you. about four or five throws before he finally caught one yeah so so there was a guy standing there's a guy standing a few feet there's a guy standing a few feet from the catcher and he would say he would say now to when the catcher should close his mitt and after two or three throws he was able to do it where you would throw it exactly where it needs to be and the guy would say now and the catcher would actually literally catch greg maddox with his eyes closed yeah it.
It was pretty cool. It was a lot of fun.
I remember the first one I threw, hit him in the glove, and it bounced off. And then I about hit him in the kneecap, and then I whistled one right over his head.
And then I think the fourth one he actually caught. So it was pretty cool.
That's awesome. Yeah.
I remember you being a big cover your mouth when you're talking to the catcher guy so when you'd have your meetings at the mound like some guys just cover their mouth you got in there like you were eating popcorn out of it it covered your entire face do you think that pitch that batters are actually like able to sit back there and read your lips uh curtis pride could do you remember curtis pride the deaf guy that played? Montreal. But, yeah, there would be meetings on the mound,

and then he would go tell the manager what they said.

So, you know, I think you can read some lips.

You know, you could see, you know, fastball in, change up away,

or, you know, curveball, whatever, if you can read lips.

So it was just kind of a way of guarding against that you

know you're you know you get paranoid out there sometimes yeah how many times how many times would you uh be pulled from a game or or have the manager come out and try to take you out of the game and you were able to successfully tell him like no i'm i'm staying in this game you're not taking me out. Probably zero.
You know, I think my managers were pretty good. I always got the benefit of a doubt, you know, and I would always tell my managers or suggest to them that, look, I'll lie for you, never to you, okay? If you're going to come out and ask me how I'm doing, I'll tell you the truth.
And, uh, uh, if I think I can get the next hitter out, I'm not going to lie to you. I'm going to take ego out of it and give you an honest answer.
Cause, uh, you know, I want to win. I want to win my games.
And, uh, sometimes you're not good enough to win your games and maybe your teammates can win them for you. So, uh, you know, I never lied to my managers, never had to talk them in or out of anything, just give an honest opinion.
And, uh, I think I got pulled from a game once that I was kind of pissed. I got taken out of Bobby Cox was an all time.
Great too. And I could watch him and I could tell when he was feeling extra spicy that day, he'd start to get into an argument with the umpire and like the top of the first were there days when you could just see bobby trotting around you're like bobby wants to get tossed today yeah we used to uh try to call how many pitches into the game before he yells at the umpire and the numbers were two three five it was going to be in the first inning it was matter what pitch it was he had one game where it was first pitch of the game you know so uh you.
So that was just Bobby being Bobby, cheering for his guys. He was always in your corner.
Loved playing for him. I think all the guys loved playing for him.
It wasn't just the pitchers. I think the hitters enjoyed playing for him as well.
You know how to treat people the right way. All right, so this has been awesome.
We really appreciate it. i have one more stat for you uh from july 1993 to may 2000 you started 213 games games for the braves and you only had 212 walks i love these stats because they're like i don't think we'll see them ever again these types of that type of command i heard that one yeah that's a good i don think they should be intentional walks in there, though.
I agree. I'm sure there's intentional walks in there.
A lot of guys. Tons of intentional walks.
Because how many times are you walking the eighth-place hitter to get to the pitcher? You know? Yeah. So I don't think those should count, but they count them.
But, you know, I'm a pitcher. All right.
Well, Greg, this has been so much fun. We really appreciate it.
Legend, you're a recurring guest now, so you have to come on whenever we ask you, just so you know that's part of your contract. But everyone check out the Diamond Resorts Tournament of Champions.
It is this weekend. You can watch it on Golf Channel and NBC.
I got one last question for you. This is more just like asking you to rate Big Cat's goatee.
You were a pitcher in the

mid-90s. You saw the best

pitching goatees of all time. I think it was

mandated, I'm pretty sure,

that if you were a Leaf pitcher, you had to have the Van Dyke.

Scale of 1 to 10, or

scale of Steve Bedrosian

to Mark Moloz. Just

rank Big Cat's goatee.

Get a good look

there? I think he might be he's pretending to be frozen. Wait, who's goatee am I ranking? You're kind of cutting out on me a little bit.
This is Big Cat's goatee. Oh, there we go.
Eh. Eh.
Kind of like a little thing. Like a fake Steve Bedrosian.
He said fake Steve Bedrosian. But that's not bad because Bedrock had a bush on his face.

That's just Mad Dog being Mad Dog.

It's just guys busting each other's balls.

I got it.

We're teammates now.

Yeah.

It's pretty cool what you guys are doing for the small businesses, by the way.

Thank you.

Yeah, it's been awesome.

It's been awesome to watch.

But we really appreciate you coming on.

Yeah. Oh, all of those videos are incredible.
Absolutely. All right.
Thanks, guys. All right.
Appreciate it. All righty.
Mad Dog was brought to you by CBS All Access. They've got the AFC Championship.
It's presented by Intuit TurboTax Live. The Buffalo Bills are circling the wagons in Kansas City this Sunday at 6.30 p.m.
Can Kansas City defend their Super Bowl title? Or is Josh Allen and the Buffalo Bills going to reach their first Super Bowl since 1993? Watch it live on CBS All Access. And don't miss Super Bowl 55 streaming live Sunday, February 7th on CBS All Access.
Go to cbs.com slash NFL. Get your free seven-day trial so you can watch.
It's a free seven-day trial. Watch it on any device.
Check it out. It's the home of Super Bowl 55.
That's cbs.com slash NFL. All right.
Firefest. Great Friday show, by the way.
Great Friday show. It was a Fri-yay show.
Fri-yay show. My apologies last week.
It did actually. I did have a bad gambling weekend because of the lack of Fri-yay.
So just the programming. We'll all be in Detroit this weekend.
Make sure you watch us. We'll be on live stream during the games.
And then we're going to be back here in a couple weeks for the Super Bowl. Like I said, we're going to try to get Dan Campbell.
Why haven't we just called him Man Campbell? Man Campbell's good, too. I've called him Man Campbell.
Okay, so Man Campbell. And then also maybe we're trying, if anyone's listening, we're trying to get PFT's most overrated coach of all time on the podcast,

Tom Izzo, which would be electric.

They have a month named after him, according to Rothstein.

Yeah, that's true.

January, February, Izzo, April, May.

That's what his tweet is when they win. Which actually is kind of perfect.

Rothstein didn't even realize that he kind of nagged himself on that

because the final four is always in April. Yeah, that's true.
And that's exactly why people are saying this type of stuff about Izzo is because he's not named after the championship month. He always – Yeah, sure, he'll win the first two rounds of the tournament.
And by the way, my take on Izzo is it's a pre-take. I'm squatting on the take.
I'm not saying that he's overrated. I'm just saying people one day soon eventually will start saying that Tom Izzo is overrated.
That was just a simple reminder because if we do interview him, I want you to have to say that to his face. I will.
Very funny. Yeah, I know you will.
All right. Fire Fest of the week.
Let me start. So I flew to Detroit today.
I am so out of practice in traveling. I did the following things.
I forgot to pack deodorant, toothbrush, underwear. Not even a single pair of underwear.
And then on top of all of that, I went to the airport. When did you pack? Dude, I just.
When did you pack? I packed this morning. I packed everything else.

I have like seven sweatshirts, jeans, pairs of shoes, socks.

And then I just was going through my bag when I got here.

And there just wasn't underwear where the underwear was supposed to be.

So I did all that.

And then when I was at the airport, I sat down.

I got there way too early because I'm out of practice. I was there like an hour and a half early for my flight.
Sat down, ate some lunch. Got up, just left my coat in the booth and just like my winter coat.
So I don't have that anymore either. At least Detroit's not that cold, right? Yeah, right.
I'm so out of practice of like doing anything but going from my apartment to the office and back to my apartment that I have to relearn how to act in society. So, yeah, that sucked a lot.
That's tough. Socks are the one I always forget.
But underwear, that's a tough one to forget. So have you gone to the store yet or are you just going to go free ball? I'm going to go to the store after this.
And I agree with you. Socks, it feels like you can buy socks and it's not really much of a difference buying all new underwear you've i'm gonna feel off i'm going to feel off oh yeah it's gonna be like starchy it's gonna have the fuzz on it because you can't wash it before you put it on when you buy socks me undies i actually think that when like the only socks that i've purchased in the last probably 10 years are socks that I've bought out of town when I've forgotten my old socks.
So it's a good excuse to re-up on brand new pairs of socks. I might just not bring socks with me just so I can get some new tube ones.
There we go. All right.
What do you got, PFT? My Fyre Fest is, I still have a Christmas tree in my house. So it's, what is it, the 22nd of January right now? I did pay $300 for the Christmas tree, so I'm getting my money's worth.
Right now it's like a birthday tree. That's what I'm telling myself.
But it's in bad shape. It's in really bad shape.
And if you have a Christmas tree that far into January, you can't just take it out to the curb because they've done the Christmas tree collection. I don't think, I don't think that they do.
They don't just pick up trees. If you leave a tree on the sidewalk all year round.
So now I have to figure out how to get somebody to come to my apartment and get my tree from me. And then I have to deal with the shame of, yeah, I still have my tree.
Why, why wouldn't you just plant it in my apartment or outside no outside you're not throwing it away just plant it put it outside there's really no grass near my apartment there's got to be those uh those little wells like uh you know on the street the you know what i'm saying a manhole dogs piss a manhole not the manhole i can take the manhole and then plant the tree in the sewer plant your tree and and commemorate it to Tommy Lasorda. We'll do a whole fucking thing for it.
I'm down for that. I'm absolutely not because I don't know what else to do with it.
Yeah, I want to plant this tree. One time in April, I lived on a highway, and we had taken our tree out to the side yard, and then we got a notice from the Homeowners Association.
So I had to take this tree and run across three lanes of a highway out to the median i just threw the tree into the median and then ran back into my house so every day for like the next six months i saw my dead just skeleton of a christmas tree sitting in the middle of the highway it's pretty cool and people almost crashed every day no i i weighed it down i actually did kind of plant it in a way I wedged it it was more of a wedge oh it was a grass median okay got it yeah no no it wasn't i didn't just like throw it onto a concrete barrier and then run back it was like a significant strip of land and i wedged it into some some rocks before somebody came took it all right uh hank i have a couple my first one is i didn't make any hilarious bernie

sanders sitting memes oh yeah that meme burned out burned out pretty quick i lost sleep over that last night was that the fastest a meme has ever been used out yeah it yeah it has to be has to be i was sick of it after five minutes yeah everyone fucking our colleague bw carlin had posted a,

someone did a painting of it

like two hours after.

Like, who the fuck has paint just lying around to paint a meme i guess painters do yeah uh my other one so wait well this sounds to me like you had a meme a specific one you wanted to do and then you realize it was too late so why don't you just verbalize it talk it out all right it's it's bernie sanders sitting yeah but he's in a cat what's he wearing he's wearing uh the mittens and the in the gloves and he's sitting in the coat hilarious he's sitting like the coach from the other meme too by the way yeah that's okay this is already hilarious hank i'm once again asking you to continue your meme all right and then he and then he's sitting at the pub with the Peaky Blinders. That's okay.
That's good. Yeah.
Just imagine that it had gone out at like 12.01 on Wednesday. Right.
Like I wasn't really paying attention, and by the time I tuned in and saw how hilarious it was, it was too late. And I just really lost sleep over it.
Can't lie. And then my other one.
So this one, I was talking to PFT whether or not i should even say it before because i might just like double fire fest myself with this but i my hvac unit needs to get like work done because it like the heat will turn on then just turn off after 20 minutes so we're emailing back with my landlord and the person that is coming and he was like oh i can come on on friday by the way i am in all caps huge fan of chicks in the office and part of my take oh uh so it's just it's just the awkwardness is my fire fest that this guy that's a huge fan is just gonna be chilling in my apartment obviously judging the shit out of it and me and just normie normie it's just a nice guy i'm sure he is a nice guy and i'm sure i'm just overthinking it and just being like this is he's just the awkwardness it's just awkward absolutely going to be sneaking pictures of norm, he's a nice guy. I'm sure he is a nice guy, and I'm sure I'm just overthinking it and just being like,

this is, it's just the awkwardness.

It's just awkward, you know?

He's absolutely going to be sneaking pictures of Normie.

He's going to have his phone out.

He probably thinks he's going to get a threesome.

Hank.

In his wildest dreams.

Don't you only speak Spanish at home, though?

So it's going to be tough for him.

Yeah.

See.

I thought you said that.

You always wanted to raise Norman as a Espanol speaker, so you only speak Spanish at home. Yeah, I've been getting hooked on phonics, learning my Spanish.
Uh-huh. Yeah.
So he seems like a nice guy, but unfortunately, if you come to Hank's house and he's there, he will not understand what you're saying. Well, that's why it's really just awkwardness, but my hope is that I was like, PFT, do you think if I say this, he'll hear it by 11 a.m.
when he's supposed to come? And he was like, probably not. So I'm just hoping that when this guy hears it,

it's after he's already been in my apartment.

Otherwise, it's going to be even more awkward.

Yeah.

And if you're listening to it right now,

just bring a cat over and just let it loose in Hank's apartment.

No, if you're listening to this right now, dude,

you actually sound like a really sweet dude,

so you're cool to hang out for a while.

Maybe some Warzone? Yeah. sound like a really sweet dude so you're cool to like hang out for a while maybe some war zone yeah i like that get stream with him yeah i'll hop on stream go live go live with the hvac guy dude why not are you not do you not like our fans no i that's what i'm saying it's not it's really it's nothing to do with the guy i'm sure he's a great guy it's just you know how it is it's just awkward it's just it's just i actually i would rather the people that come into my house i would rather pretend that they don't know i exist rather than i'll really be like hey i know you disagree i'd rather disagree i i think that's way i think that's cool that he did that this way i would so much it's it's like i would so much rather someone just say it outright than imagine if they, like, as they were leaving, they're like, hey, just a heads up, I'm a huge fan.
You're like, well, what? But the damage is done. Then he's leaving.
Yeah, but what did I say? What did I do? Like, did he take a picture? I think it's way better that you just know it because now you can just be like, hey, all of our cards are on the table here. I guess.
I'd rather him say it on the way out and i could be like all right and then then it's already over the deed is done there's nothing

you can do to change the past oh if you're listening unless you're tenant give hank give

hank a real clear picture of how to fix the pipes in this office he'll probably know right

oh yeah you can do that job yeah if he has some extra time we'll pay yes i'll i would gladly pay

hundreds of dollars to have somebody fix this thing just so I can hold that over

Thank you. Yeah, if he has some extra time, we'll pay.
I would gladly pay hundreds of dollars to have somebody fix this thing just so I can hold that over Pete's head for the rest of his life. Yes.
I took care of it myself. Fuck Pete.
Pete, you still here? Just clean the pipes. He's still here.
He's like, one day I'm going to come. I'm going to just keep trying.
Yeah, I can just hear him masturbating in the other room. All right, Jake, do you have a fire fest?

Yeah, I showed up to my orthodontist appointment this morning

to get some more Invisalign from my bottom row.

And they told me my appointment was canceled.

And I'm like, no, you canceled it the day of that blizzard in December.

It's a blizzard.

Remember the blizzard in December?

Yeah, we had like six inches of snow.

You could forget.

Jake, do you go to the doctor too?

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

Such a P-U-S-S-Y.

Oh, man.

All right, you want to do numbers?

Yeah, let's go with it.

I'm going to go eight.

Eighteen.

I think I'm going to do eight again.

Nine.

Fun fact.

In ancient Greece, pigeons delivered the results of the Olympic Games. What did you say, Big Cat? 100.
52. I feel like it's been in the 50s for a while.
52. 52.
52. What is it? 52.
52. Wow, a 5P.
52.. What? 52.
We had four 52s. Now this is our fifth.
We last had it December 27th. Jesus.
That's nuts. 52's got a dynasty.
It's too bad 52's not on the roulette wheel for this weekend. Yeah.
Yeah, go download the Barstool Sportsbook app. Play if you're in Michigan.
Gamble responsibly. You know what we should do this weekend? We should have somebody in this room playing the lotto machine and then telling us what number to put our bets on on the roulette.
Like, yes. Can you imagine if that hits? We need a zero, a double zero.
On Sunday we can. Yeah.
On Sunday we can. Yeah.
What about Saturday? Saturday I don't think people come in the office. Okay.
We'll see. All right.
Love you guys. there once was a ship that put to sea in the name of that ship was a billiard the winds blew hard about it down blow me bully boys blow talking away I don't know what I'm to say I'm saved anyway today's not a day to find you Shine away I'm coming for your love again Shine away I'm coming for your love again Take on me Take me on I'll be gone.

Good afternoon.

Needless to say.

I'm all dissenting.

But I'll be so willing away.

So they learn that life is okay.

Say up to me. It's no better to be safe than okay.
Say up to me. It's better to be safe than sorry.
Say up to me. It's better to be safe than sorry.
Take on me. Take me on.
I'll be gone

Dinner day

Soon may the weller man come

To bring us sugar and tea and rum

One day when the tugging is done

We'll take our leave and go

Dinner day