NFL Week 17, Fastest 2 Minutes, CFP Recap, And We're Not Apologizing For Making The Playoffs

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Speaker 7 On today's part of my take, week 17 recap. Fastest two minutes playoff picture is officially set.

Speaker 7 We talk about everything that happened. We talk about Sunday night football, people mad at the Eagles, at Doug Peterson, the Bears back into the playoffs.
We're the not apologizing podcast.

Speaker 7 We have everything. We have college football playoffs, all the football that we missed when we were off for the last few days.

Speaker 7 We have Who's Back of the Week, Baby Braun of the Week, Football Guy of the Week, a packed show to end the NFL regular season. All games played.
Thank you, Adam Schefter.

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Speaker 7 Let's go!

Speaker 7 Now in the streets, street, there is violence.

Speaker 7 And then I laugh some work to be done.

Speaker 7 Low place to hang out, no washing.

Speaker 7 And then I can't aim all on the sun. Oh, no, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue.

Speaker 7 And then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 7 Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue. It's part of my tape presented

Speaker 7 by

Speaker 7 sports.

Speaker 7 Welcome to part of my take presented by the Cash App. Go download it right now.
Use code BarSto to get $10 for free. $10 to the ASPCA.
Today is Monday, January 4th, week 17.

Speaker 7 The regular season is done. 256 games.
Did I have that right, Teach?

Speaker 8 I think that's about right.

Speaker 7 And they were all played, big cash. All played.

Speaker 7 It's boom. Mission accomplished.

Speaker 8 Mission accomplished, boom.

Speaker 7 All right, we start in western New York where Josh Allen Dershowitz was racking up the barely legal Bills and scoring at will on the Dolphins until Matt Charles Barkley took over, throwing the Dolphins through a glass window and out of the playoffs.

Speaker 7 It will have to be wait till next year for Pua Taglia Voa as Buffalo look like a bunch of Japanese fishermen looking to net a Tua fish but slaughtering a bunch of dolphins instead.

Speaker 7 The Bills are locked and loaded for the playoffs. Isn't there a saying for that? Oh yeah.

Speaker 7 No one circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills. And the Bills hang off 50 Burger or a 50 Beef on Wack, if you know what I'm saying, Western New York.
On the Dolphin 56-26. What? What?

Speaker 7 Kirk Cousins thunderstruck quickly in the game with a touchdown to Chad ACBB and the Vikings are backing black with a division win for the Lions.

Speaker 7 It's officially draft season and Fucko's about to mock.

Speaker 7 We salute you.

Speaker 7 Dalvin cooked up a nice Christmas CJ ham, delivering a facial, leaving Lions fans look like they just got honeyglazed.

Speaker 7 In Detroit, home of the Queen and my good friend, rest in peace, Aretha Franklin, where Adam sang to Kirk, you make me feel,

Speaker 7 you make me feel,

Speaker 7 you make me feel like your contract's absurd and the Vikings like 35, Lions, 32.

Speaker 7 Who they? Who they? Who they say they're gonna beat them Bengals? Pretty much everyone.

Speaker 7 Lamar Jack Sonny Digital put his stamp on Cincinnati as the Blackbirds QB was making tracks through the Bengals defense.

Speaker 7 Coach Zach Eric Taylor says full eyes, clear farts, always lose to the Ravens as the Bengals finish a season to forget.

Speaker 8 Marius that Monday night football game, boom.

Speaker 7 That Monday night football game, who can forget that one? Brandon Ray Allen is getting there. And by there, I mean back to being a backup and also switching back and forth from his dick to his tongue.

Speaker 7 John, are you going to Harborough Fair? Is taking the Ravens back to the playoffs with a great stretch run. Ravens 38, Bengals, 3.

Speaker 7 Some spread. Mike's hard Glennonade got his long neck portal twisted off all afternoon as say it ain't so.

Speaker 7 But Philip Rivers Cuomo was left wheezing as Doug Oof Marone is going to be singing soprano while he held Christopher Maltasante Conley's nose on the side of the road like a dog.

Speaker 7 John Nathan For You Taylor made some wonderful business decisions and plowed through the Jaguars like they were imaginary friends that were smiling just out of the picture.

Speaker 7 Coach 28, the Jacksonville Jaguars forking. In Cleveland, where jolly old St.

Speaker 7 Nicholas Chubb asked Browns fans, is that a banana in your pocket or you just happen to be back in the playoffs for the first time in 18 years?

Speaker 7 La Hiam, the celebration in Cleveland is better than a video of

Speaker 7 cream pie hunt pounding the inside all day. You like them cream pies?

Speaker 8 Stick it in there, boom.

Speaker 7 On the other side of the ball, Mercedes-Ben Rothesberger was put in the garage for the day and Mason Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer, had some very shitty throws.

Speaker 7 And if you ever saw him, you would say he blows. Good news for all parties included.
It's Browns Steelers next week in the playoffs. Yes, again, the Cleveland Browns are in the playoffs.

Speaker 7 And Cleveland hasn't been this hot since Drew Carey was singing Cleveland Rocks. Browns 24, Steelers 22.

Speaker 7 The NFC Norse had a showdown on the lake Sunday at No Limit Soldier Field, singing, Khalil, you won't good, won't you mack that ass up?

Speaker 7 Sacking Aaron Rodgers with his behind and proving that hard twerk beats talent when talent doesn't twerk hard. Mitch Hedberg Trubisky reminded everyone quarterbacks don't break.

Speaker 7 They just turn into running backs. And Matt Nagy said in the post-game, I don't have a quarterback.
I just have a player who would be really mad if he heard me say that.

Speaker 7 Karen Rodgers would like to speak to his game manager, and the playoffs run through the

Speaker 7 tundra. Packers 35, the Bears 16.

Speaker 7 In Houston, where? Tractor Cito. He's in his bags like Ranch Doritos.
Get under your skin like he's a mosquito. Make Coach Rabel cut off his pee hole.
Tractor Cito.

Speaker 7 Derek Henry Kissinger committed war crimes against the Texans defense, officially entering the 2K club. Club.
It's in the game, boom. That's EA Sports, you ignorant fucking slut.

Speaker 7 It was a tough season for the Texans and Romeo must die. But Deshaun Elementary, my dear Watson, made the game look easy, even if his team fucking sucked.
Sam, he's a slow man.

Speaker 7 Doink, doink, doink, doink, doink, doink.

Speaker 7 The Titans into the AFC South Crown as Tennessee is looking to run the Brable. Get it? That's the coach's name.
Titans 41, Texans 38.

Speaker 7 And on the 12-year anniversary of the most famous one-car accident of all time, Robert Tiger Woods ran like he was being chased by his wife with a five-iron and a nasty grudge.

Speaker 7 The Rams Sunday was like a nice round of golf. Jared, that is, using every play in their bag to pludge in the cards.

Speaker 7 Cottler Bill Murray was seeing gophers in the secondary as he looked extra judge small standing in the pocket.

Speaker 7 Judge Wolford Bremley made the Cardinals say, Hold my Arizona sweet tea, or else this guy's gonna die of beat us. Rams 18, Cardinals 7.

Speaker 7 Standing on a corner, Jameis wins him down in Nola. Such a fine sight to see.

Speaker 7 It's tasting him, my lord, with the dick soaked warm. Like crab legs after a robbery.

Speaker 7 Come on, Taysom. Let Jameis play

Speaker 7 some.

Speaker 7 Just don't let him around any snatch. He's not chasing Taytham.

Speaker 7 The Saints go marching.

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Speaker 7 And week 17 in the books. Part of my take is officially the not apologizing for going to the playoffs podcast.

Speaker 8 Sorry, I'm not sorry.

Speaker 7 We're not going to apologize.

Speaker 8 You never will say, I'm sorry. I'm not.
I'm sorry.

Speaker 7 We both backed in. Guess what?

Speaker 8 We're the podcast of champions, big cats. Imagine your team not winning the division this year or going to the playoffs.
Couldn't be me.

Speaker 7 Couldn't be me. Couldn't be Hank.
Wait. Jake? No.
Wait, did you... The Dolphins?

Speaker 9 No, but we got to score a gun.

Speaker 7 Oh, they got to score a gun. All right, let's start with Sunday night football, and then we're going to recap every game.

Speaker 7 We're going to skip through, we're going to go quickly through a couple games that had no significance, but we got a lot to talk about. Playoffs are set.
Sunday night football, the Nate Sudfeld game.

Speaker 7 Holy shit, are people angry? PFT,

Speaker 7 the Washington football team wins the NFC East in a game that they

Speaker 7 could have lost. NFC East, period.

Speaker 8 We win the NFC beats.

Speaker 8 That's the end of that sentence.

Speaker 8 I didn't truly understand how you felt early this year when people were asking you to apologize for the Bears.

Speaker 7 Don't apologize. I've never apologized.

Speaker 8 Listen, this banner is not going to say we beat Nate Sudfeld on it. It's going to say 2020 NFC East Division Champion Washington football team, the Washington football, football team, football club.

Speaker 7 Yes.

Speaker 7 So people are very mad. Giants fans, they have every right to be mad.
Well,

Speaker 7 actually,

Speaker 7 let me curb that real quick.

Speaker 8 You could have won more than six games.

Speaker 7 You won six games. You won six games.
I feel bad for Giants fans. I don't think that they, like, it's not like they're a 10-win team.
Did the Dolphins end up with 10 wins, which we'll get to them?

Speaker 7 They won six games. If you win more games, you're in the playoffs.
If you win one more game, you're in the playoffs because you actually beat the Washington football team twice.

Speaker 7 I do get the frustration of that is pretty much the most painful death that you can have when you're watching the Eagles, who were kind of better than the Washington football team with Jalen Hurts in, and they have first and goal.

Speaker 7 They go for it on fourth down.

Speaker 7 He misses a guy who's running open free, and then he puts in Doug Peterson, puts in Nate Sudfeld, waves a white flag, essentially says, we're going to roll over and let you beat us.

Speaker 7 And the Washington football team tried to give the game back like four times.

Speaker 7 If you're a Giants fan, you watch that entire game hoping, just praying that Nate Sudfeld would

Speaker 7 find some kind of inner

Speaker 7 genius and throw a touchdown pass or do any kind of positive play. It turns out Nate Sudfeld is not good, and Doug Peterson lost on purpose, and that's how the NFC East kind of deserved to end.

Speaker 8 It was a perfect ending for the division after everything that we've been through together as a division all year long. You didn't think that it was going to end pretty.

Speaker 8 You didn't think it was going to be like a shootout and one of the best Sunday night football games. But in an interesting stroke of irony, Nate Sudfeld came in.

Speaker 8 Nate Sudfeld, who has been trained by the old Washington football team regime, he learned everything that he knew about football at the professional level from our former coaches.

Speaker 8 He gets put in for the Eagles, and now he sucks because we trained him wrong, and we did it not having any idea that this would ever happen. But

Speaker 8 eventually in life, you can be so incompetent that you will eventually help out your future self with your past incompetence, which is what the franchise did tonight.

Speaker 8 And there was, I'm not going to apologize for it. I do what you can.

Speaker 7 You can't.

Speaker 8 Listen, we won the division. That's all I know.

Speaker 7 I'm going to slap you in the face if you apologize.

Speaker 8 I get it, Giants fans. I hope that you'll root for the division because we are taking on Tom Brady next week.
Tom Brady, who is 1-3 against the NFC East in the playoffs, you might recall.

Speaker 8 We're the best division against Tom Brady. So I said before the game I was going to root for the Giants if the football team lost.
I want to open up the bandwagon.

Speaker 8 You don't have to publicly, you know, you don't have to wear the burgundy in gold. You don't have to sport a big W on your head, but it'd be nice.
The more the merrier. We can all come together

Speaker 8 in the NFC East to root against Tom Brady.

Speaker 7 I think Giants fans

Speaker 7 have every right to be upset. Again, you won six games.
You won six games. You won six games.
And I was the biggest

Speaker 7 cheerleader for the Giants having or overachieving this year and putting together a nice stretch there. And Daniel Jones actually looked good.
We'll get to the recaps of every games.

Speaker 7 But you won six games. Now,

Speaker 7 I do get like the

Speaker 7 on like a basic level, if you're on the Eagles, you're probably like, what the fuck? Like, we're out there playing football. A lot of us are playing for non-guaranteed,

Speaker 7 pretty much everyone's playing for non-guaranteed money. A lot of you are playing for your next contract and Doug Peterson is like, ha ha, just kidding.
We're going to throw the end of this game.

Speaker 7 I would be pissed if I was an Eagles player. Oh, yeah.
Because the Eagles player, like, what does an Eagles player care

Speaker 7 if they're going to move up three spots in a draft?

Speaker 7 By the time the player that you draft is going to be like a really good player, you'll probably be retired or on a different team just by the nature of how long the NFL careers last.

Speaker 8 And if you're a wide receiver on the Eagles, if you're a Thega Whiteside,

Speaker 8 if you're a player on offense that depends on having a functioning quarterback under center, you're probably pissed off that Nate Sudfield came into the game. It makes you look bad in general.

Speaker 8 Doug Peterson,

Speaker 8 we could ask, did he lose the locker room tonight going into next season? Because there will be some of those guys that are like, wait, so first you pissed off Carson Wentz.

Speaker 8 You went to Jalen Hurts, which looked like it was the right decision, but still now Carson Wentz is saying, what do you say? Like, this relationship is over.

Speaker 7 Beyond fractions, it's over.

Speaker 8 That's like Facebook official over.

Speaker 7 Yeah, no, he's the no longer Doug Peterson, no longer my friend.

Speaker 8 You know, if Doug just

Speaker 8 Carson is going to show up, like, the text at 2:30 a.m. to Carson Wentz is going to have Carson showing up in a whipped cream bikini, though.
The second Doug Peterson shows a little more interesting.

Speaker 7 No, he's got his eyes on Frank Wright.

Speaker 7 Also, Doug Peterson, dude, if you can't keep your glasses, like we are day 300, 300, 320 in a fucking pandemic, everyone has figured out how to keep their glasses from fogging when they have their mask on.

Speaker 7 Sorry. What? Not Jake.

Speaker 7 You put a little tissue paper at the top of his mask. Oh, I know that, but like when you're walking.
Yeah, you put a little tissue paper on the top of it.

Speaker 7 Dude,

Speaker 7 Paul Christ had so much fucking tape at the top of his mask, he probably still has that thing on because he taped it. He used a whole scotch tape roll to keep his mask down.

Speaker 7 Doug Peterson, all I'm saying is when you do something like that, keep your glasses unfogged. You just look like more of a buffoon.

Speaker 8 Yeah, and he had a giant mask. It's like him and Mike McCarthy have the two biggest masks in terms of square footage in the NFL.

Speaker 7 Did you see, by the way,

Speaker 7 the Eagles got note sapped. The Eagles got note sapped by Dan Orlofsky.
This is one of those ones that Dan Orlofsky is going to wake up tomorrow morning and be like, whoa, I got a little emotional.

Speaker 7 What did he,

Speaker 7 the tweet was, that was a mockery. And then he put on his notes app.
It's fair to laugh about the NFC East this year.

Speaker 7 But at the end of the day, the four teams played to win every week until the last game of the last week of the season.

Speaker 7 The Giants and Cowboys battled their tails off today for what they thought was a chance when, in reality, they didn't have one. The NFL is a league that is about respect.

Speaker 7 In every aspect, Philly is a city that prides itself.

Speaker 8 Shut the fuck up, Dan Orlovsky.

Speaker 7 Did he just invoke

Speaker 7 lions? He invoked the Philly nature.

Speaker 7 The NFL is a league that is about respect.

Speaker 7 In every aspect, Philly is a city that prides itself on having a chance when no one thinks they do for never, ever giving in. No one that bows down and looks for the easy road.

Speaker 7 What happened to respecting the game and respecting the other teams in the league? Listen, Dan. He notes that.
He notes that. And listen.

Speaker 8 I thought you were saying he not tapped it. He notes it.

Speaker 8 He hit the fucking division with a note tap.

Speaker 7 He hit the notes app. He hit the the Eagles with

Speaker 7 the Eagles in the city of Philadelphia in the NFC East with a notes app.

Speaker 7 And listen,

Speaker 7 there's a part of what he said there that I do kind of agree with. I just alluded to it with like, if you're an Eagles player, you got to be pissed.

Speaker 7 But anytime you go to the notes app and it's not a joking matter, you're a clown. Like, that's a clown move.
Don't notesap. Never notesap.
The minute you note sap for real, like that's, come on, man.

Speaker 7 That's, you're going to look back tomorrow morning and be like, whoops.

Speaker 8 I'm going to have to note sap Dan Orlovsky. That's the only way that you can combat a note sap is to note sap off.

Speaker 8 Listen, Dan, I'm sorry that you've got a haircut that reminds me of Forrest Gump mixed with Todd McShea that got rolled into one. Be nice.

Speaker 8 Dan, you seem like a nice guy.

Speaker 7 You love Cars. He does seem like a nice guy.

Speaker 8 You love Carson Wentz. You're always screaming on television.

Speaker 8 He's always on my fucking television screaming about Carson Wentz. I don't know.

Speaker 8 His job, what? That's what it is. His job is to go on TV every day and yell at me Do you know what he's saying?

Speaker 8 While I'm watching, I'm trying to watch Get Up and listen to Mike Greenberg give me a peaceful take about how Adam Gace is a disgrace.

Speaker 8 And I've got you screaming at me about how Carson Wentz is actually underrated, Dan.

Speaker 7 Oh, no, Dan. Give it a break.

Speaker 7 You just broke the one rule you can't break. You're supposed to be the unbiased, all-22, breaking down the film guy.

Speaker 7 We're the fans that say stupid shit and knee-jerk reactions and tweet things like, I fucking hate Aaron Rodgers. Dan Orloski's mad at Doug Peterson because he benched Carson Wentz.

Speaker 7 And now he's taking out on Doug Peterson. You know what?

Speaker 7 You got your feelings in the way. You know what? Your notes app, your feelings.

Speaker 8 Why don't you wait until tomorrow morning when you can break down the film on Nate Sudfeld?

Speaker 8 Because we don't know. Maybe his receivers weren't getting open, big cat.
That's true.

Speaker 7 That's true.

Speaker 8 Maybe he was having bad protection. We saw at least one play where the left guard didn't even try to block.
So why don't you wait to break down the film, Dan, because you might be surprised.

Speaker 8 Nate Sudfeld might be showing you some things on tape that you didn't see because you were too blinded in the moment by her hatred of Doug Peterson to realize it.

Speaker 8 So please, let's stay in our lanes here. We'll be assholes.

Speaker 7 Let's just remember, the Giants won six games. Yes.
Six games. Okay.
Now, to be fair, Nate Sudfeld. They won six games.

Speaker 8 He did look like the Madden creative player before you boost anything.

Speaker 8 He's just 50s across the board.

Speaker 8 And yes, you're right. There's probably no way that he should have been in a game.
But you know what? Oh, he was so bad. I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

Speaker 8 I'm going to take that gift horse, slaughter it, turn it into glue, and then make a wonderful-looking traffic keeper out of it.

Speaker 8 And my Washington football team is the NFCE's champion, and that band will fly forever.

Speaker 7 I feel awful for Giants fans. I truly do.
That was a horrific death to watch your season end like that. That way it went.

Speaker 7 But again, every time I start having like a true, strong opinion about this, it's like a flowchart, and it just always ends up with the Giants won six games. They won six games.
That's it.

Speaker 7 If they won more, and I'm talking, my team only won eight games. I'm not saying they're good.
They backdoored in, but guess what? If the Giants won eight games, they'd be in the playoffs.

Speaker 8 The Giants won seven games.

Speaker 7 They'd be in the playoffs. So, like, again, I think the Giants have, they're building something, and I like them.
I've been the biggest cheerleader, but they won six games. Yeah, they won six games.

Speaker 7 Jesus Christ, Tano Orlovsky, you're going to regret that in the morning.

Speaker 7 All right, let's get to the rest of the games. So, we have Washington football team versus the Bucs on Saturday nights.
Yep. We'll see what that line ends up being.

Speaker 8 I'm going to guess. Let's play a game called Guess the Spread.

Speaker 7 Guess the Spread. Guess the Spread Advanced.

Speaker 8 I like this game. I'm going to say 7.5.

Speaker 7 7.5.

Speaker 7 Okay. It is 7.5.
Is it? You cheated. No, I didn't.

Speaker 8 People have been saying you cheat. I said that earlier.
Yeah.

Speaker 7 Jake heard me say Jake would never let it. Over 46.5.

Speaker 7 All right. Let's get to some games.
Week 17. Like I said, there's some games that we're going to probably just speed through because they didn't have much significance.

Speaker 7 Starting with the Ravens-Bengals, the Baltimore Ravens, we said it last week. They are the team officially no one wants to play.

Speaker 7 They got their swagger back, five straight wins, 525 yards, 404 yards rushing, and they had the ball for 40 minutes. And yeah, they are officially the team no one wants to play.

Speaker 8 It's tough to win when you don't have the ball at all. Ever.

Speaker 8 In the entire game. Unless you're the Eagles.

Speaker 8 You were probably better off with Nate Sudfield not having the the ball.

Speaker 7 Well,

Speaker 7 Brandon Allen was 6 for 21 for 48 yards.

Speaker 8 Okay, Brandon Allen.

Speaker 7 I may have been wrong about the whole thing. You won the whole game.

Speaker 8 With my Brandon Allen, Ryan Finley take.

Speaker 7 Because that's bad.

Speaker 8 I mean, Ryan Finley, he beat the Steelers. That's so.
But the, listen, the Bengals have already won their Super Bowl. Yeah, so.

Speaker 7 They beat the Steelers. So, yeah, the Bengals are like going into the offseason.
You have Joe Burrow. You have the number four pick, I want to say.
Yeah, four pick, four or five.

Speaker 7 Is that right?

Speaker 8 Something like that.

Speaker 7 It might even be. No, yeah, they have the four or five pick.

Speaker 8 Because they ended up four and 11.

Speaker 7 Yeah, and I know it goes, it goes Jaguars, Jets, Dolphins, which we'll get to.

Speaker 9 Jags, Jets, Dolphins, Atlanta, Sincey.

Speaker 7 Since he's five. Okay.
So you have the five pick. You're going to probably get like, dude, you get like, go get Kyle Pitts or something.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 7 Like, have someone that Joe Burrow can throw to.

Speaker 7 And you have, you're not going to fire Zach Taylor. The team basically had every offensive lineman get injured.
They were still kind of chippy in a bunch of games. I don't know.

Speaker 7 If I were a Bengals fan, as bad as this season

Speaker 7 was, I'd just pop in the tape that Steelers Monday Night Football game and be like, guess what? We're going to be, we are a little bit on the upswing. Yeah.

Speaker 8 Hey, Bengals fans, you'll be fine. Yeah.
This will work out as good as you could hope for a Bengals team to work out for you.

Speaker 8 You'll be 500 within a couple years. And the Ravens, on the other hand, are...

Speaker 8 I agree. I think that they're a team that...

Speaker 7 Well, do you know what it is? Yeah.

Speaker 7 I think they're finally... I think they've stopped being cute.
And what I mean by that is they just know they can just hammer people with the run. Right.
So like they are hammering people.

Speaker 8 I think what they've realized is going back the last couple seasons, they heard people saying, like, we need to show that Lamar is a great passer. Like, Lamar is a great football player.

Speaker 8 He won the fucking MVP. But they would try to incorporate, they would sometimes play away from the run occasionally.
Right. When it's like, why don't you just run the ball down everybody's throat?

Speaker 8 And yeah, Lamar can pass the ball when he needs to, and I think he's getting better at his accuracy, but like they've realized that they don't have to prove to everybody else that they can be a passing football team.

Speaker 8 They can just kill you with the run and dominate, and there's nothing you can do about that.

Speaker 7 Here's Lamar's last five games. So the Ravens finish on a five-game winning streak.
Pretty, besides the crazy Monday night football game when Lamar had the shits, every game was essentially a blowout.

Speaker 7 He had 17 pass attempts, 17 pass attempts, 22, 26, 18. So there it is.
Like, that's...

Speaker 7 And then if you look at the beginning of the season, it was in the high 20s, low 30s.

Speaker 7 They just hammer people with the run, and I think that makes them the team no one wants to play. I don't know how the Titans are going to stop them whatsoever because the Titans defense is like...

Speaker 7 Titans basically play every single game, like last team to score wins.

Speaker 7 Last man with the ball.

Speaker 8 It's a completely different team than beat the Ravens in the playoffs. That same formula is not going to happen.

Speaker 8 I'm looking back at their schedule. Remember, they lost to the Patriots?

Speaker 7 That was crazy. In the storm.
And then they lost an overtime game to the Titans, who they now have a rematch against. You want to guess this line?

Speaker 8 Ravens, Titans.

Speaker 8 I'm going to say.

Speaker 7 You should get every single one perfect. It's called Guess the Spread.
Yeah, guess the Spread.

Speaker 7 My bad.

Speaker 7 Yeah. Guess the Spread?

Speaker 8 Guess the Spread. I'm going to say.

Speaker 7 What's the spread? Three and a half. What's the spread? Three and a half.
Three and a half is correct. Are you serious? Good, yeah.

Speaker 8 I'm not cheating on this. You can look at my screen.

Speaker 7 So Titans, three

Speaker 7 Ravens by three and a half situations.

Speaker 7 Yeah. You look at my computer.
Overrunner's 54. I'm looking at

Speaker 8 the screen that I'm on right now is you porn MILFs.

Speaker 7 It's a notes app getting ready to clap back at Dan Orlovsky.

Speaker 8 I'm photoshopping Dan Orlovsky.

Speaker 7 You got to clap back at like four in the morning.

Speaker 7 All right, so Ravens Bengals, that one's in the bus.

Speaker 8 Wait, didn't Dan Orlovsky tweet out a while ago, like, I just hate it when people cause drama or something like real.

Speaker 7 Oh, yeah, it was like a real eyes real eyes realize yeah okay so I'm gonna have to find out what he said and then I'm gonna note sap him and then I'm gonna end it with whatever I don't want to make this the Dan Orlovsky show because I actually do think he's a nice guy but he the one thing I'll say is I do think it's lame to always do the you ran out of the end zone because he still was an NFL quarterback it was a funny play but to always be like

Speaker 7 what do you know about football you ran out of an end zone Well, I think he probably still knows a lot about football.

Speaker 8 There's a reason we haven't brought it up. Right.
Because that's the easy way out of it.

Speaker 7 Right. I always see that.
I'm like, that's just kind of whatever.

Speaker 8 Why are you doing that? He's tried to take that sting out by making that joke before anybody else can.

Speaker 8 So I'm not going to let you make it before me, Dan, because you'll just be sitting around waiting until kingdom come.

Speaker 7 I won't say that. Not going to do it.
All right. Steelers run back out of that end zone.

Speaker 8 It was pretty disgusting.

Speaker 7 It did. You did.
It did happen. All right.
Steelers, Browns, the Cleveland Browns are in the playoffs for the first time since 2002. What a run.

Speaker 7 What a ending, a full like Cleveland Browns ending where they couldn't make it easy. Mason Rudolph almost gets that two-point conversion, and then they almost fumble the on-site kick.

Speaker 7 And then it was so sweet that Baker Mayfield ran for the first down. Yep.
Cleveland Browns, like, I'm so happy for Cleveland. I'm so happy for Cleveland Browns fans.

Speaker 7 Can we at least, though,

Speaker 7 can we do the list of quarterbacks? Just we might as well.

Speaker 7 Since the last time the Cleveland Browns, I'm pulling it up right now. Since the last time the Cleveland Browns went to, I want to also do the coaches because the coaches are just as funny.

Speaker 7 I think, remember Rob Jacobsinski? Yeah, one of the

Speaker 8 shooting star.

Speaker 7 Yeah,

Speaker 7 he was something else.

Speaker 8 All right, you do the quarterbacks. I'll pull up the coaches.

Speaker 7 Okay, so the quarterbacks, since the Cleveland Browns last went to the playoffs,

Speaker 7 this was in 2002 with Tim Couch. They had Kelly Holcomb, Tim Couch, Jeff Garcia, Luke McCown, Kelly Holcomb, Trent Dilfer, Charlie Fry.
Love Charlie Fry.

Speaker 7 Shout out Charlie Fry, Maxion Akron, Derek Anderson, Brady Quinn, Ken Dorsey, Bruce Gurkowski, more Maxion.

Speaker 7 Bruce Gurkowski is one of those guys I always like,

Speaker 7 I think there's something there.

Speaker 8 The Browns are always a team that'll, they'll bring in a quarterback that's from the state of Ohio. Right.
Regardless of what their professional prospects are. They're like, he's a hometown guy.

Speaker 7 Yeah, that's Charlie Fry. Charlie Fry was definitely Brian Hoyer.
Oh, yeah, he's going to do this.

Speaker 7 Brady Quinn, Derrick Anderson again, Colt McCoy, Jake Delome. I forgot they had Jake Jake Delome.

Speaker 7 Seneca Wallace, who great quarterback.

Speaker 8 Great quarterback.

Speaker 7 Like, that's there are certain guys where you're just like, that guy can ball. You can win a Super Bowl with him.
Seneca Wallace was on that list for me.

Speaker 8 He's a Madden all-star, too.

Speaker 7 You would love him on Madden. Yes.
Brandon Whedon, who played for them when he was 28 years old as a rookie. Thad Lewis.
Oh, I forgot about Thad Lewis. Duke Legend.

Speaker 7 Jason Campbell, Brian Hoyer, Johnny Manzel, Connor Shaw,

Speaker 7 Josh McCown, Austin Davis, Cody Kessler, Robert Griffin III, Deshaun Kaiser, Kevin Hogan. I forgot Deshaun Kaiser started 15 games for them.

Speaker 8 Yeah, they give him good luck.

Speaker 8 And RG3, that year that he played, that was the summer of RG3 when during training camp, they would put out new reports every day about the different window that he would shatter by accidentally throwing the ball over the fence during Prince Camp.

Speaker 8 Yep.

Speaker 7 Yep. And then

Speaker 7 Tyrod Taylor and Baker Mayfield. And Baker Mayfield has done it.
Baker Mayfield deserves, like, last year was a train wreck. To bounce back this year.
They're a good football team.

Speaker 7 They're in the playoffs.

Speaker 7 I think I mentioned this, like, maybe at the beginning of the season, but I do think Jarvis Landry deserves so much credit because of that, like, that speech he gave when they did hard knocks, which was a hilarious, like, shit show of hard knocks with Hugh Jackson and Greg Williams.

Speaker 7 And

Speaker 7 who is the Brogan Roeback? Brogan Roeback. Who's the offensive coordinator? Oh, Hiley.
Oh, no, no, no.

Speaker 8 No.

Speaker 8 As the

Speaker 8 offensive line coach. he was offensive with.

Speaker 7 Todd Haley. Yeah, they were all fighting each other.

Speaker 7 And Jarvis Landry was like, We're going to change the culture. And he has.
He is the guy. He has changed the culture of that team.
So shout out to the Browns and all Browns fans.

Speaker 7 That's fucking awesome. It's big.

Speaker 8 Congratulations. And we are a Lake Erie podcast.
Yeah. Cleveland and Buffalo.
Let's go, Erie.

Speaker 8 The Cleveland Browns head coaches since 2002 are Butch Davis, Terry Rubiski, coached six games. Romeo Cornell, Eric Mangini, the man genius,

Speaker 8 Pat Shermer,

Speaker 8 Rob Trudzinski. Yep.

Speaker 7 That guy, like, how do you hire him? You see his name.

Speaker 7 His name is literally Chud. I don't mind.

Speaker 8 I actually don't mind that. I'm pretty sure the last name is Polish for Cleveland Browns football coach.
Yeah, it's Rob Trudzinski. Yeah.

Speaker 8 Mike Petton, who was like a leveled-up version of Rob Trudzynski. Hugh Jackson.
He was around for a while, 43 games.

Speaker 7 Also won a bunch. Yeah.

Speaker 8 Very successful. Greg Williams, Freddie Kitchens, Kevin Stafansky.
And Kevin Stefansky, by far, the best winning percentage out of all those guys. I'm talking like

Speaker 8 maybe Coach of the Year. He's 688 in his winning percentage this year.

Speaker 7 I think you should just give him Coach of the Year just because

Speaker 7 they did.

Speaker 8 It's the Browns.

Speaker 7 My official vote for Coach of the Year goes to Kyle Shanahan. But if I had a second vote, it would go to Kevin Stefansky.

Speaker 8 Greg Williams actually has the second highest winning percentage of all those coaches, 625.

Speaker 7 Greg? There you go, Dr. Bill.
Greg.

Speaker 7 I didn't know Josh Dobbs was still on the Steelers. Well, he's back on the Steelers.
He went to the Jaguars for a sabbatical, and now he's back on the Steelers.

Speaker 8 He's the new Chaz batch that's going to be taking spot snaps for the next 15 years on the Steelers.

Speaker 7 And Mason Rudolph wasn't that bad. And, I mean, like, that couldn't have worked out better for the Steelers in that you didn't really need to win the game.

Speaker 7 I guess you would have preferred to have the two-seed, but now you get to play the Browns again, and you almost won with your backups.

Speaker 8 Yeah, so this was actually a good game for the Steelers because they don't have to feel bad about a loss for the first time in a while.

Speaker 8 All their other losses have been like soul-sucking where they're like, I don't think that we actually play football. I don't think that's the sport that we went out there and played.

Speaker 8 After this one, you looked like a good football team, and you can always say we were missing a ton of guys.

Speaker 8 We didn't have Big Ben under center, so you switch a few pieces around and you get a different result. I'm excited.
You can tell yourself that live for the next week.

Speaker 7 Sunday night football next week. I'm excited for that game.

Speaker 8 I'm going to be awesome. I'm very excited.

Speaker 8 I want Solidari, Solidare E-Re.

Speaker 8 For Lake Erie. Solidaire E-Re.

Speaker 7 What's the spread?

Speaker 8 All right. Browns at Steelers.
Yeah.

Speaker 8 I'm going to guess it's Steelers

Speaker 7 five. Oh.

Speaker 7 You were so close. Steelers minus four.

Speaker 8 Four. All right.
Well, which book are you looking at?

Speaker 7 Well, it's our book, Barcelona Sports. Okay.
Well, that's the case.

Speaker 7 Yeah, exactly. That's the Vegas zone.
You don't know what's going on there. That's weird.
Overunders, 47.5.

Speaker 7 God, I'm excited for this game.

Speaker 8 I did like the picture that Mason Rudolph put up on social media of Miles Garrett shaking his hand after the game.

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 8 What if they end up becoming best friends?

Speaker 7 It would be a great ABC, you know, buddy comedy.

Speaker 8 That's the next win-win for the Gipper.

Speaker 7 Right, right.

Speaker 7 I mean, but it's actually Miles Garrett and Mason Rudolph don't actually, they're not in it. It's

Speaker 7 Michael Michael B. Jordan and

Speaker 8 Andy Samber. Instead of like the Gipper dying of a disease, Miles Garrett actually kills Mason Rudolph.

Speaker 7 Yeah, it's a great, it's going to be, it's coming to ABC next week.

Speaker 7 All right. So this game, yeah, this is going to be an awesome game.
So excited for Browns fans. You deserve it.

Speaker 7 Like.

Speaker 7 It's just, I'm happy for Bills fans. I'm happy for Browns fans.
Their teams are good. They should be proud of their teams.
They're in the playoffs. It's fucking awesome.
This is why sports are great.

Speaker 7 It's pain, pain, pain for these moments where it's like, fuck it, let's just enjoy the ride.

Speaker 7 You know, no one's going to pick the Browns to win the Super Bowl, but who the fuck cares? Who cares? You're in the playoffs. Your team is young.
You're building something.

Speaker 7 You hopefully will get some guys back from the Coco list because they are, we should say that, like, the Steelers kept it close, but they...

Speaker 7 The Browns were playing a practice squad like punt returner slash cornerback.

Speaker 8 Yeah, and I feel like they had some coaches that were out too, right? Yeah.

Speaker 8 Like last week, they were missing everybody essentially essentially on offense, whether it was like two linemen, all their wide receivers, a cornerback, linebacker.

Speaker 8 This week, I feel like it's more like the coaches got it.

Speaker 7 Yeah, but I just

Speaker 8 award was out yet. Just tell me, please, Adam Schefter, tell me that they'll be fine and ready to go.
Well, they are. Greedy Williams.

Speaker 7 They're playing Sunday, so if they were playing on Saturday, they would have been fucked.

Speaker 8 Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 7 And same with the Saints. So the NFL actually did something right and didn't just fuck over, which would have been so classic, NFL.

Speaker 8 Coronavirus doesn't hit on Sundays. We've learned that.

Speaker 8 That's actually been a fact if you look at the stats. But yeah, congratulations to the Browns.
It's just awesome, man.

Speaker 7 Everyone is clean. Sports are great.

Speaker 8 Take the week off.

Speaker 8 This is me writing you a note.

Speaker 8 Your favorite podcasters are telling you you don't have to work this week. Don't start your diet.
Just get drunk and enjoy.

Speaker 8 Eat a lot of carbs. Eat like every meal baked inside of a potato.

Speaker 8 Put some cheese on it. Chug some beers.
No, no, no.

Speaker 7 We're getting hard. No, no, no, but this is Cleveland.
We're getting hard. We're going to get so hard.
You don't understand how hard our bodies are going to get. Everyone should get hard.

Speaker 8 I don't know if I can get hard.

Speaker 7 Let's all get hard.

Speaker 8 I'm up 20 pounds.

Speaker 7 No, we're going to get hard.

Speaker 7 We're going to get hard. I'm up 15 pounds in the last two weeks.

Speaker 8 I'm down 15.

Speaker 8 Well, I lost 20, and then I put 20 back on. Maybe even a couple extra.

Speaker 7 No more carbs for me.

Speaker 8 I don't know if I'm going to say I'm hard this year. I'm going to say this is the year.

Speaker 7 Oh, I'm getting hard. This is the year.
I'm getting so hard.

Speaker 7 Also, my New Year's resolution is to cross up more people with an invisible basketball. Maybe add a Euro step.
I don't know. All right, next up, Bill's Dolph.
You're going to tell you you're Achilles.

Speaker 7 Yeah, oh, yeah. Did you see what happened to Tom Segor? That was like, did you see that, Hank?

Speaker 7 It's

Speaker 7 he was, he and Burt Kreischer were playing

Speaker 7 hoops. I think it was maybe on New Year's Eve, and like no one guarding him, he just went up and he tore like his patellar and also like something in his wrist, like his whole right side.

Speaker 7 He's, he, he tore something in his leg and his arm so he can't use crutches for his it sounds like he had a strike, don't mean to laugh, but it was so brutal. This is why

Speaker 7 if you're going to play basketball past your 30s, don't jump. I never jump when I play basketball.
Just stay on the ground. Box out and stay on the ground.

Speaker 8 Low man wins.

Speaker 7 That's a tip for everyone out there. Don't jump.

Speaker 7 All right. The Bills Dolphins game.

Speaker 7 Okay.

Speaker 8 We are in the Lake Erie podcast.

Speaker 7 The Dolphins needed to win this game to get in. Now, what should we do? What, Jake, you pick? You want to go glass? Well, no, actually, I'll go glass half-full the whole time.
Yeah, third pick.

Speaker 7 So the Dolphins were embarrassed by the Bills and even more embarrassed by the Bills' backups because the Bills killed them in the future. He was played more than I thought.

Speaker 7 He did play a lot, but then Matt Barkley came in and he was able to kill them too.

Speaker 8 Matt Barkley looked like a stud out there.

Speaker 7 Yeah, he did. So the Dolphins' defense, which was not, I don't want to say fraudulent because it was good, but it also was a little turnover luck.

Speaker 7 Like they were the only team to get a a turnover every single week.

Speaker 7 They kind of fell apart in the moment that you needed them the most. We've talked about it before, but the candy-ass uniform going up north, that's tough.
So, the third pick,

Speaker 7 I think they should draft a quarterback.

Speaker 8 Tua,

Speaker 8 I think, might be a bust.

Speaker 8 He has bust tendencies right now. Like, you have to analyze a rookie quarterback.
You can't just, you can't unilaterally say this guy's a bust just yet.

Speaker 8 It's like trying to figure out via pre-crime, like, what kids are going to grow up to be sociopaths.

Speaker 8 There's certain things that you have to look at in your rookie quarterback to know whether or not he's going to be a bust. This game was like, there were some throws

Speaker 8 where

Speaker 8 he just missed him high by about 15 feet.

Speaker 7 And the offense did not, they did put handcuffs on him. I will grant all Dolphins fans that.
I'll grant all Tua fans that. Chan Gailey.
clearly didn't like do a great job playing to his strength.

Speaker 7 However, every time Ryan Fitzpatrick came in, and if Ryan fitzpatrick didn't have coronavirus i think the dolphins probably would have won that game because they would have put him in like in the first quarter and he probably would have kept them in that game and everything would have kind of tilted differently so but the reason i i actually

Speaker 7 i'm not going to say that two is a bust and i do i do think that like someone can make the most out of him and he can still be a quarterback in the nfl because i'm just i wouldn't write someone off that quickly My whole you should draft a quarterback is when are you going to be back in the top three of the draft of a draft that is seemingly loaded with quarterback talent and the jets might not take justin fields at two

Speaker 8 and we've seen it we saw it with the cardinals i think the jets will though because they might there was a report today that they were going to try to trade samples yeah they might

Speaker 7 they might whatever but even if you don't like there's Zach Wilson and Trey Lance like there are other guys that are projected to be very good quarterbacks so you're not going to be back in the top three at least you hope not because you're building something something and this team was way better than everyone expected, is a year early, which I would, I love saying that.

Speaker 7 Whenever your team misses the playoffs by like a little bit, like a Scotia, you're just like, yeah, we're a year early. We're a year early.
We're a year early. Premature.

Speaker 7 You're not going to be back in the top three for a long time.

Speaker 7 Take the quarterback. And Tua still has a ton of value.
Like, if you want to trade Tua, I bet you you can get a second round pick for him. At least.
Josh Rosen, this is what the Cardinals did.

Speaker 7 And the Cardinals do not, they do not regret it because they went and they drafted Josh Rosen, realized that he was not exactly what they wanted. Kyler Murray's there.
They took Kyler Murray, and

Speaker 7 no one in the Cardinals is like, damn, we probably should have just given Josh Rosen another year. Again, this isn't saying Tua is bad.

Speaker 7 It's saying, given the circumstances that you have two first-round picks, because guess what?

Speaker 7 If Tua is bad, the fact that you have built up the rest of the roster means diddly poo because your quarterback is bad.

Speaker 8 Also, you went, I think, 5-11 in 2019, right? 5-11, I think, was a record. And the roster was so much worse than 5-11.
You ended up getting.

Speaker 7 I made fun of them every week. Yeah.

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 7 No, I know. He would not do something.
Brian Floors is a great coach. That's bringing awareness.
That's right.

Speaker 8 You're talking about it right now, Jake.

Speaker 7 Brian Floors is a great coach. They overachieved this year.
They have a bright future. They have a ton of assets.

Speaker 7 My whole thing is, though, if the quarterback, if you're not 100% 100% on the quarterback, everything else doesn't matter, right?

Speaker 7 Nothing else matters on your roster if you're not 100% on Tua. And if you,

Speaker 7 like, even this question means they probably aren't 100%. The fact that they benched them in key spots means they're probably not 100%.

Speaker 7 So why wouldn't you be like, hey, let's trade them and then we'll take a quarterback at three and we'll just fucking keep going from there.

Speaker 8 Or you keep him around and you have him compete against the guy that you draft.

Speaker 7 That is a little tough because then it's like both that, I think.

Speaker 8 I can see Brian Flores doing that though, because that's essentially what he did this year with Brian Fitzpatrick was just keep him around and have like

Speaker 8 an open competition. But going back to was it Mark Schlair that talked to us about this? Yeah.

Speaker 8 When he was like, well, if that guy isn't able to respond to the competition, then he's not going to be the guy anyway. And so it's better you find that out earlier than you find it out later.

Speaker 7 Tua, there was.

Speaker 8 There was one pass today where his receiver dropped the ball, and I'm pretty sure it's because he wasn't expecting the ball to be thrown accurately to him. Right.
And it like freaked him out. Right.

Speaker 8 It was at his hands. He was like ready to jump for it, and it was right on target.
I don't think like his team obviously doesn't have confidence in him.

Speaker 8 He seems like a good guy that's going to work hard and going to try to get right. So why not give it one more season, keep him around? Worst case scenario, like if I was a

Speaker 8 really shitty franchise, I can't relate because I root for the Washington football team, but if I was a bad franchise in the FL, I would draft a quarterback in the first round almost every year until we found the guy.

Speaker 8 Just take the best quarterback available and just ride with that.

Speaker 7 Especially when you have the number three pick.

Speaker 7 Having them compete, I think gets tricky because it's just like one of those guys,

Speaker 7 you're going to lose value on one of those guys. And if you draft a guy at three and then you're like, oh, now you're behind Tua, okay, well, what the hell does that send?

Speaker 7 I think you trade Tua before the draft and then you draft.

Speaker 7 And you take a quarterback in a quarterback-rich draft, and you're like, boom, trade two to the fucking Jets and go up to two and get Justin Fields. Why not? Why not?

Speaker 8 I actually wouldn't hate that at all.

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 8 It is tough for the Dolphins, though, because once you get the playoffs in your sights and you're like, we are 10-6, we could be 11-5.

Speaker 8 It's tough to lose this game, especially when Ryan Fitzpatrick, like, this is going to be a Ryan Fitzpatrick revenge game, which he's very good at because they're like 80% of his games in the NFL is against teams that he's played for.

Speaker 8 And he probably, they definitely would have been more competitive. They probably would have won this game, I I think, if Fitzpatrick was playing.

Speaker 7 Well, maybe not one, but it would have definitely changed the nature of how it, like, it was over pretty quickly.

Speaker 7 And that really should, like, that's more of a credit to the Bills being, the Bills are just, there were two teams that

Speaker 7 played their starters going into this, like, they didn't really need to. The Bills and the Saints both just fucking annihilated the teams that they played.

Speaker 7 And they have to feel, like, really, really good going into the playoffs doing that.

Speaker 7 Like, because there is something to be said for playing your guys and kicking the shit out of the opponent and being like, yeah, we're ready to go. Because the Bills don't miss a beat.

Speaker 8 Are the Bills a wagon? But they also circle the wagon. So I don't know what the correct nomenclature is.
They're like a convoy.

Speaker 7 A convoy of wagons?

Speaker 8 Circling themselves. They're multiple wagons.
What's the collective plural for wagons?

Speaker 7 I don't know if that's. I'm sure Dolphins fans,

Speaker 7 I feel like most Dolphins fans want to just stick with Tua. I'm just saying that it's not.
I don't think they're going to. It's not even about Tua.
That's the thing.

Speaker 7 It's not even more. It's not an indictment on Trucker.

Speaker 9 I'm not saying with the Cardinals situation.

Speaker 7 And it's more the fact that you have the third pick and you're not going to have the third. Like being that high in the draft is not something that you expect the Dolphins to do.
Right. 10 and 6.

Speaker 7 Right.

Speaker 8 Even when they try to tank, they'll fuck up and not get the third overall.

Speaker 7 Brian Forrest is a good coach. And you're also, you don't.

Speaker 7 You don't go from what they did last year to this year to almost making the playoffs and take a step back to being back at the top of the draft.

Speaker 7 This is moving forward. They're going to be a team that's going to be good going forward.
So take the opportunity now.

Speaker 9 Isn't the Sewell guy one of the highest rated offensive linemen in a while?

Speaker 7 Yes. Yeah.
He is. He's a massive strong.

Speaker 7 That's probably what they'll do. Yeah.
Because that is probably the safer thing to do. I'm just, I just think that like nothing, nothing, nothing matters if you don't think Tua is the guy.
Yeah.

Speaker 7 Nothing matters. Nothing matters.
All right. And the Bills are a wagon and the Bills are going to fucking.
They're group away. I want

Speaker 7 Bills Chiefs. Give it to me.
AFC Championship.

Speaker 8 Spread.

Speaker 7 Oh yeah.

Speaker 7 Guess it. Guess the line.
No, guess what?

Speaker 7 Spread is.

Speaker 7 Guess what the spread is.

Speaker 8 Predict the spread.

Speaker 7 It's guess what the spread is.

Speaker 8 I'm going to say Bills by

Speaker 8 seven and a half.

Speaker 7 Wrongs. Bills six and a half.
Ooh.

Speaker 8 Overunders 52. I like the Bills.

Speaker 8 The Bills are going to go to the AFC Championship game.

Speaker 7 They just are.

Speaker 8 I'm not going to worry. I'm not going to.
The Bills are going to play in the AFC Championship game. I'm not going to win.
Hopefully in the snow against Andy Reid with little crystals,

Speaker 7 hopefully, in the snow against the Browns.

Speaker 8 Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 7 Dude, can you imagine? They'd have to let fans in. Both fans.
It'd have to be like the Rose Bowl split.

Speaker 8 Can you imagine that would be split the fans? That would be honestly my dream scenario. If you could get those teams together, the magical waters of Lake Erie.
On the north side, it makes hot dog.

Speaker 8 On the south side, that same water catches on fire. It's truly, that is the fountain of youth.

Speaker 8 That's the watering hole of Western civilization, M. Geary.

Speaker 7 All right, Dolphins fans, free invite. I'm probably going to, we're recording this very late tonight,

Speaker 7 so we're not going to be done, probably not going to be asleep till like 3.30.

Speaker 7 Let's pick it up at like 10 a.m. I'm ready to debate on Twitter.
10 a.m. We'll have this debate.
Let's be civil. No notes apps.
Let's not be animals about it, but we'll have this debate.

Speaker 7 All right, Vikings Lions.

Speaker 7 Vikings Lions.

Speaker 7 Really, the biggest takeaway is Matt Stafford just plays games when he barely can walk.

Speaker 7 He's the toughest guy in the NFL. And Kirk Cousins, the roughing the passer play was insane.

Speaker 7 It's so Lions that even in games that they don't want to win and no one really is watching, they still get screwed by the rest of the game.

Speaker 8 The league tried to sneak in a garbage-officiating game on the Lions on us. They didn't think that we were going to be paying attention.
It's crazy.

Speaker 7 It's crazy.

Speaker 8 So not only did they have that play, but then they also had the touchdown that they took away from the Lions later, which was like how no one's explained to me how that's not a significant thing.

Speaker 7 No, because Cicelianology didn't go back to it.

Speaker 8 It's the Calvin Johnson rule.

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 8 Again, it's a new Calvin Johnson 2.0.

Speaker 7 The first one was correct.

Speaker 8 The first, which one? The first Calvin Johnson rule. No, it wasn't.
It was conspiracy. No, it wasn't.

Speaker 8 But the league, I feel like they use the Lions as trial balloons on all their weird officiating rules that don't get brought up against any other franchise.

Speaker 8 They'll try it out on the Lions, see what the outcry is, and then if people speak out enough against it, they'll take that and they'll put it on the rest of the league.

Speaker 7 Well, my theory is that, and this should be accepted in the scouting community, when you're evaluating a quarterback and you're evaluating the strengths and weaknesses of a quarterback, you should put in the strength column, does he look like a little baby weakling when he gets sacked?

Speaker 7 A la Kirk Cousins. Do the refs have pity on him? Or a weakness would be, is he like Cam Newton and he's a fucking tank?

Speaker 7 And when he gets sacked by like and gets roughed, no one's gonna call it because everyone's like that guy's a tank it was a terrible call but Kirk Cousins looked like he was being assaulted I agree with you because of his just body language was like he turtled and was like ow help please someone help me uh it was a routine sack but I think that's actually a benefit if you're trying to scout a quarterback can your quarterback look like they're getting beat up by a bully when they get sacked and if so bump them up a little in the draft yeah there's a reason why uh in that picture in tiananmen square if it was two tanks running into each other nobody there would have been no international outcry right but on the other hand it's like yeah it was basically kirk cousins standing in front of that tank yes and he uh kirk cousins to his credit he did the gritty when he scored a touchdown swag instantly makes it a classic swag just like when pack boone covers little richard or charlie daniels uh being covered by nickelback it just makes it better so kirk cousins just uh i think he gave the gritty another two three years of longevity i've seen

Speaker 7 i've seen some people get mad because like everyone's ripping off the gritty i i think that's it's like california and louisiana california and new orleans that's where culture comes from like if that's a compliment everyone is doing it because they saw you do it first lsu and it was fucking cool yeah i'm a little concerned about mike zimmer are you concerned no i'm concerned what you're not i'm concerned what am i supposed to be concerned he he's a little checked out mike zimmer doesn't get mad like he used to well he's got a young team he's got yeah that's what i'm saying saying, Billy.

Speaker 8 We talked about that a couple weeks ago. Since he got the girl,

Speaker 8 I mean, he's obviously enjoying himself,

Speaker 8 but he stopped getting pissed off at his team. Young D.
And that's the problem. He lost the fire in his good eye that used to be there after every single play, after every single game.

Speaker 8 Even when they won, he would be mad at his team. Yes.
Now he's like, he's checked out. He's apathetic.

Speaker 7 Yeah. No, I don't like that.

Speaker 8 I miss that about him. Like, his face would get almost as red as Mike Shanahan's used to.

Speaker 8 And he would just sit there there just screaming at people with his little elven mouth. And

Speaker 8 it was endearing. And now it's just like, I don't know, he just accepted the fact that his team stinks.

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 7 Positives going away for both these teams. One for the Vikings.
Justin Jefferson sets the rookie record 1,400 yards on the dot, which is kind of cool in itself.

Speaker 8 I like that because we're not going to forget it now.

Speaker 7 Nope, 1,400 yards. That's pretty fucking cool.
And then Lions,

Speaker 7 the Lions are a dumpster fire.

Speaker 7 We all know that. Not going to pick on them.
But

Speaker 7 there is something about that

Speaker 7 month stretch, two weeks leading up, two weeks after, when you get a new coach that can really make you feel good. Anything else? Like you feel like, hey, we got the guy.
So just enjoy that.

Speaker 7 Whoever it is, it doesn't matter. It just feels good to have a new coach and be like, maybe this is the guy.

Speaker 7 Maybe this guy is going to be a genius and turn around the entire fortune of this franchise. That's a fun thing to do.

Speaker 8 You can talk yourself into anything.

Speaker 8 Maybe the new coach will take some of our advice that Matt Patricia just rejected when we were visiting. We had a bunch of awesome ideas.

Speaker 7 He was not.

Speaker 8 You remember the sheep that we were going to put right in the foyer of the facility? Yep. Because lions don't concern themselves with the opinion of sheep.

Speaker 8 And then every player would just have to look away from the sheep whenever they walk past it. Yep.
Like that, that's a great fucking idea, Matt Patricia. Didn't happen.

Speaker 8 I give you gold like that, and you just, you tell me my posture sucks and kick me out of your office.

Speaker 7 Spit in our face. All right, next up, Patriots 28 Jets 14.
Adam Gates fired.

Speaker 7 I will remember. Yeah, I'm kind of sad.
I hope he'll get another job.

Speaker 8 I hope so.

Speaker 7 Let me say that as a joke, but maybe with the Lions.

Speaker 7 I mean, you could. Dude, all he's got to do is pull up this tape from his days with Peyton Man and be like, see this?

Speaker 8 All he would have to do is walk into Martha Ford's office and be like, I would just get off the phone with Jay Cutler, and he said that he is very interested in coming back to play for the Detroit Lions.

Speaker 8 And then he'd get hired, and then Jay would be like, nah, you know what? I'm fine. I'm just going to chill down here smoking cigarettes with my chickens.

Speaker 8 And then Adam Gates would have a job for two years. That's all it takes.
You're dangerously close to hiring Adam Gates. But I am going to remember.
I'm going to miss him.

Speaker 8 I'm sad that he got fired. Sad that he got fired.
League's better with Adam Gates.

Speaker 7 It's funnier.

Speaker 7 And the Jets had a little pep at the end.

Speaker 7 The Patriots,

Speaker 7 what, seven and nine? Like, I don't know. I just assume that they'll figure out a way to draft, like, an incredible quarterback in, like, the fifth round, and then they'll probably be back.

Speaker 7 I don't know, right?

Speaker 10 Yeah, they said Cam's not coming back.

Speaker 7 Officially? I mean, that was a no-brainer. I don't know what's going to happen with Cam.
But how do you feel, Hank? Like,

Speaker 7 no one's turned on Belichick, right? No. No.

Speaker 7 What does it matter?

Speaker 8 What's the cap situation like? Because I know that Bill was...

Speaker 7 They also had a bunch of players opt out of the season to

Speaker 7 come back. Be honest.

Speaker 7 Is there a small part of you that is actually like a tiny bit looking forward to no pressure in the playoffs? Yes.

Speaker 10 I had a great day today.

Speaker 7 Today was very enjoyable. No stakes, no pressure.
Yeah. No concerns.

Speaker 7 I do enjoy football. I could totally see that.

Speaker 8 Are you rooting for the Bucs?

Speaker 7 I'm dreading next Sunday.

Speaker 7 Ooh. Well,

Speaker 10 that's a tough question.

Speaker 7 Are you rooting for the Bucs? Answer the question, hey?

Speaker 8 No, it's a simple question. Are you rooting for the Tampa Bay?

Speaker 7 Are you or are you not a narc?

Speaker 7 I, in my heart, I, yeah, no. What? Yes.

Speaker 7 That's a yes.

Speaker 8 Let me, okay, let's do it this way. That's a yes.
I'm going to say two sentences to you. You tell me which one makes you feel good.
Washington football team beats the Tampa Bay Buccaneers 20-10.

Speaker 10 Yes, that would make me feel better than if the Bucs won. But if the Bucs win, I'm obviously going to root for them for the rest of the playoffs.

Speaker 7 Okay, thank you.

Speaker 8 We're all in. There you go.
On the football team.

Speaker 7 Unless I decide to bet on the Bucs. I won't bet on the Bucks.
I I won't bet on the Bucs. How about that? Okay, that's fair.
I won't bet on the Bucs at seven and a half. Is that fair?

Speaker 7 I don't care what you say. If it gets below seven, I win.
I'll listen with you guys. But I will not bet on the Bucks.

Speaker 8 I'm listening to what you guys. I'm keeping this all up.

Speaker 7 I'm being nice. I'm saying I will not bet.
I don't like them at seven and a half. I'm just moving forward

Speaker 8 with my team.

Speaker 7 I think that's disrespect to the Washington football team.

Speaker 8 I think so, too. I mean, he's going to have to go north into the elements.

Speaker 8 I'm hoping to God that it's a rainy day in Ral John, Maryland, or maybe some grapple and some sleet. I'm hoping, well, it's going to be a night game.

Speaker 7 Tom Tom Brady. Let's talk about it.

Speaker 8 He starts sundowning at seven.

Speaker 7 That's my theory. Yep, he can't.

Speaker 8 He stinks in primetime. He has Tom Brady.

Speaker 7 It's one and three. Is it one and three? And he's gotten killed a couple times.
Yes.

Speaker 7 So let's talk about that game. Bucks, Falcons, Mike Evans.
That was a big story. Broke Randy Moss's record seven straight seasons of a thousand yards and then gets hurt in the next play.

Speaker 7 And I don't, like, what were the Bucs playing for?

Speaker 8 They were playing for Mike Evans to break that record.

Speaker 7 Well, and also Antonio Brown. Love someone like Tom Brady loves Antonio Brown because he needed 45 receptions to make a quarter million dollars.

Speaker 7 And in the last two minutes, Tom Brady gave him three shovel passes. I think they're in love.
They're in love. That's their theory.
They're in love. They're in love.

Speaker 10 Or Tom Brady, as we know, was Antonio Brown's landlord for a while. This might just be

Speaker 7 an easy way, yeah. Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 8 Oh, to know that he can get paid?

Speaker 7 Yes. Yeah.
Antonio Brown's like, hey, Tom, like COVID, can't pay.

Speaker 7 You know, things are going on. That's a good theory.
You're right, Hank. You're absolutely right.
That was just Tom Brady being like, rents due. Here's three shovel passes.

Speaker 8 But you know that Antonio Brown's still going to be like, no, the check hasn't come in yet. Right.
And still not pay Tom Brady. Yes.

Speaker 8 Tom will be like, let's just, let's just French for a while, and we'll call it even.

Speaker 7 The Bucs. Nothing wrong with that.
I don't know what the Bucks.

Speaker 7 I'm starting to believe in the Bucs a little bit because they have their offense does look a lot better. And I know the Falcons don't have any pass rush.

Speaker 7 But then again, I think of some of the games they played against really good teams, and they looked terrible. They looked terrible against the Saints.
They looked terrible against the Rams.

Speaker 7 Not terrible, bad. They looked terrible against the Bears, which, by the way, people were giving me shit for that.
People were giving me shit

Speaker 7 for sneaking the Bears into the conversation about how the Bucs

Speaker 7 lost to all playoff teams.

Speaker 7 And I still see the Bears.

Speaker 7 Guess what? The Bears are in the playoffs.

Speaker 8 You know who else is a playoff team that they have to play next week?

Speaker 7 The Bucs have to play only playoff teams from here on out that's tough break for the Buccaneers because they do not do well let's see they beat the Falcons not in the playoffs Lions not in the playoffs no all their all five of their losses one two Saints twice Bears

Speaker 8 Rams and Chiefs the only playoff team they beat was the Green Bay Packers that's it and you know what if the Giants had beaten the Buccaneers The Giants would be in the playoffs, and so would the Bucs and that would also establish the Giants as being a playoff team because they beat the Buccaneers.

Speaker 8 Right.

Speaker 7 So, this, so that's actually

Speaker 7 no, the Giants team beat the Bucs.

Speaker 7 I know, I'm saying

Speaker 7 if the Giants had beaten the Bucs,

Speaker 7 that would also fit the mold. Correct.
So, yeah,

Speaker 7 the only playoff team they beat was the Packers. Yeah, so there we go.
I just saw, you see that in 10 seconds, I just sold myself in the Bucks and out of the Bucks, just like that.

Speaker 7 I'm out on the Bucks.

Speaker 8 So, the Bucs are very good offensively.

Speaker 8 They just are. They've got, I mean, obviously, Mike Evans is going to be a big hole for them if he's not going to be able to play, but with Godwin and the running game looks not bad.

Speaker 8 Like, Leonard Fournette occasionally looks like he's alive. That's the nicest compliment that I can pay to live offense.
He's alivish. The defense, not bad.

Speaker 8 Actually, Tom Brady looked like on one play, he might have banged his thumb. He looked like he might be hurt.
I just want to put that out in the universe.

Speaker 7 There was a moment where you. He hit his hand.

Speaker 7 You had already beaten the box. You were already in the next round.

Speaker 8 No, I'm just saying Tom Brady's health is being called into question.

Speaker 7 By you.

Speaker 8 By many.

Speaker 8 I've seen a lot of reports.

Speaker 7 Really? Yeah. From who?

Speaker 8 Just all over the internet.

Speaker 8 All over the internet. People are buzzing about it.
So he might have a hurt thumb. He's got a history of hurt thumbs.
It's true. Mike Evans is going to be out.

Speaker 7 Ish, maybe.

Speaker 8 I'm going to miss the Falcons.

Speaker 7 Yeah, so I don't know what the Falcons are going to do.

Speaker 8 I'm going to miss having him around.

Speaker 7 Are they going to trade Matt Ryan? Because Matt Ryan on the 49ers makes a hell of a lot of sense.

Speaker 8 Yeah, I don't know why you do that inside your own conference, though.

Speaker 7 I don't think the

Speaker 7 Falcons

Speaker 8 could get back to the battle.

Speaker 7 If they trade Matt Ryan, they're not like, hey,

Speaker 7 we'll probably have to meet the 49ers and Matt Ryan soon.

Speaker 8 I don't know. It just always feels weird to trade a starting quarterback like that.

Speaker 7 I just, I know that would obviously make a hell of a lot of sense because of Kyle Shanahan. And

Speaker 7 it feels like the 49ers were snakebitten all year, and that could be an instant bounce back.

Speaker 7 Although, I don't, I still kind of believe in Jimmy G.

Speaker 8 Say what you want about the Falcons, but they've, they've given us so much entertainment in the last couple years, and they're not a terrible team at all.

Speaker 8 No, they're like, they're like a shitty Colin Coward time, they're like a shitty great action movie, like a Steven Seagal movie.

Speaker 8 Yeah, no, I love watching them, and they're always exciting, and I always feel better after I watch them, but like, I don't want to like put up a Steven Seagal poster in my bathroom.

Speaker 7 They're a great, they're a fun, fast sports car that breaks down all the time. Okay.
You love to own it. You look cool in it,

Speaker 7 but then you're going to end up on the side. Better get AAA gold if you're going to have the Falcons as your sports car.
Because that's really what it is. They are fun bad.

Speaker 7 They are very fun. We always say it, if you're going to be bad, at least have some fun.
They have fun when they're bad.

Speaker 7 They're fun to watch. Our Under Siege 2.

Speaker 7 That's a great movie.

Speaker 7 All right. Giants, Cowboys, The Gooch recovery.

Speaker 7 That was...

Speaker 7 The NFC East ending the way it did today was so perfect.

Speaker 7 Not only the Washington football team and the Eagles game, but which, by the way, I just looked, and Twitter is still ablaze because Doug Peterson said he was coaching to win. Yep.

Speaker 8 Listen, far be it from me to argue with Doug Peterson. The man won a Super Bowl.
Doug Peterson beat the Patriots. He beat Bill Belichick, the best coach of all time.
in the Super Bowl.

Speaker 8 So I'm not going to sit here and play armchair coach, second string. I'm not going to guess what he's doing.

Speaker 8 I don't have the credentials to do that. So I trust him when he says that Nate Sudfeld gave the Eagles the best chance to win that game.

Speaker 7 Yeah, I'm looking to Jalen Hurts, I guess, was pissed on the sideline.

Speaker 8 He was very mad. He was saying, like, well,

Speaker 7 I think the Eagles players are going to be pissed about this. I don't.

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 8 I did like how Wayne Gallman almost boofed the ball. Like, the ball almost went entirely into his butthole.

Speaker 7 So it was Andy Dalton throws a terrible pick, and then Wayne Gallman fumbles into his asshole, and that was how this game ended.

Speaker 8 He stripped himself as he was running. He sat on the ball as if it were an egg.
I don't know. Does internal possession count?

Speaker 8 If you squoose the ball hard enough in your butthole, in your rectum,

Speaker 8 where you could stand up and then walk with the ball off to the sidelines. Like, does that do you have possession? Because that seems like you have it pretty securely possessed at that point.

Speaker 7 I'll tell you what, PFT, I follow some Instagram models that would be great running backs if that was the case. Yeah.
Great

Speaker 7 running backs. Could you check out big dumpers on Instagram, right?

Speaker 8 Big underscore dumpers.

Speaker 7 Could you

Speaker 7 eat a football?

Speaker 7 Yeah, probably. You could put it under your shirt.

Speaker 8 Like, what if you had, no, like actually physically eat. Yeah.
Like what if you hand the ball to a running back and you bit into it.

Speaker 7 Kobeyashi became the best slot receiver in the league.

Speaker 8 Yeah, you bite in the football, deflate it, and eat it real quick. Does that count as possession?

Speaker 7 Yeah, I think so.

Speaker 8 Actually, I mean, that that would.

Speaker 7 But then you can still

Speaker 7 get tackled here. Yeah, right.
You got

Speaker 8 a football inside your stomach.

Speaker 7 Right.

Speaker 7 I don't understand how Mike McCarthy doesn't smash a watermelon before this game. How do you not do it? How do you not do it? You're the watermelon guy.
Do the funny trick.

Speaker 8 I think it's because it's out of season and he couldn't fly with one.

Speaker 7 Unbelievable.

Speaker 8 And we told everybody in the trusted area: do not sell Mike McCarthy a watermelon.

Speaker 7 It's true. So, Giants, I don't, I'm back in on believing on Daniel Jones.
He looked good today,

Speaker 7 looked spry.

Speaker 7 And if you're Mike McCarthy, you had a bad weekend because not only did you not make the playoffs, which wasn't, you know, you lost, so you didn't deserve to make the playoffs, but then obviously the night game happened, but Kellen Moore turned down the Boise State job.

Speaker 7 And now Kellen Moore got a three-year extension as the OC. And Kellen Moore is essentially the head coach in waiting for the Dallas Cowboys.
Yeah, he's just breathing.

Speaker 8 He's breathing on Mike McCarthy's considerable size necklace. Brutal.
Just feeling hot all game long.

Speaker 7 If the Cowboys stumble even a little bit out of the gate, unless Mike McCarthy buys a watermelon farm, Kellen Moore is going to be the head coach.

Speaker 8 Yeah, what was Jerry Jones saying going into this game? He was saying, like, there's certain holes. He's seen some exotic holes in life, and he knows when to hit them.
He's like,

Speaker 8 this is a hole I got to get inside of right now. And you know what? Like, it kind of was.

Speaker 8 This NFC East was so far wide open that, you know, like it was very close. Like, you could have won this football game, and then if Doug Peterson isn't a clown, then you make the playoffs.

Speaker 8 And I'm sure Jerry Jones would be very happy about that.

Speaker 8 But there's no chance that Kellen Moore turns down the Boise State gig if he doesn't have like a little powwow with Jerry on board the bus, a few fingers of Johnny Walker Blue.

Speaker 8 He's like, okay, let's just stop. Let's cut the shit and start being real with each other, Kellen.
You're my guy after like three losses next season.

Speaker 7 Right, right, right.

Speaker 7 Yeah, I mean,

Speaker 7 that's a terrible weekend to have. It's a terrible weekend.
You look like there's something.

Speaker 11 Remember the Des funny business with the COVID test and everything?

Speaker 11 If Dallas had won, imagine the kind of hijinks

Speaker 11 Jerry Jones would have done to make sure that the Eagles lost that game or won that game.

Speaker 7 Oh, yeah. I mean,

Speaker 8 there would be a lot of conspiracies out there.

Speaker 8 But because it's the football team and we've been strictly, we're incapable of blackmail. Every time we try to blackmail somebody, it ends up in the Washington Post the next day.

Speaker 8 So, like, we can't get away with shit. Jerry Jones, if that had happened with him, yeah, we would all be like Shadow Commissioner Jerry Jones, put the fix in, right?

Speaker 7 Absolutely. Um, all right, uh, you want to do so.

Speaker 8 I do agree with you about the Giants, by the way. I think the Giants will be a good football team next year.

Speaker 7 Yeah,

Speaker 7 they overachieve this year.

Speaker 8 Joe Judge is a good coach. I will, I will admit that.
I actually kind of like rooting for Joe Judge. Like, any coach that has the balls to punch their offensive line coach is okay in my book.

Speaker 7 Yes, yes. Um, all right,

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Speaker 7 Okay.

Speaker 7 The Bears are in the playoffs.

Speaker 8 And you're not not going to apologize for that, big catch.

Speaker 7 No, and you know what?

Speaker 8 You backed in, but you know what? I'd rather back in than back out.

Speaker 7 Correct.

Speaker 7 And

Speaker 7 so going into today,

Speaker 7 talking to everyone I know about the game privately,

Speaker 7 I expressed my concerns. Aaron Rodgers loves nothing more

Speaker 7 than shitting down my throat. It's just a fact.
It's a fact that I admit I hate him, but I also will at least say he's the MVP, and guess what?

Speaker 7 He's fucking good, and he lives to kick the shit out of the Bears and the city of Chicago and me. That's just a fact.

Speaker 7 So I thought this is going to be a long day. He loves it.
He was wearing his stupid fucking turtleneck.

Speaker 7 He just loves being out there and doing the cheating at the line of scrimmage and like, oh, I'm going to shit down the bear's throat, whatever. That first drive, I was like, oh man, game script.

Speaker 7 Eight minutes, touchdown. Mitch looks good.
I don't know why I bought back into it. I don't know why I thought they could win that game.
They couldn't. They're not

Speaker 7 a great team. They're eight and eight.
They backed into the playoffs, but I'm not going to apologize. And that fourth and one call by Matt Nagy was the dumbest play call I've ever seen.

Speaker 7 Again, like, I don't know how you're bringing this guy back who, like, in his post-game, made it seem like maybe it was the players that screwed it up. Dude, you're the fucking head coach.

Speaker 7 I don't care how it happens. It's on you.
It's your fault.

Speaker 7 So the defense is a mess right now. Roquan Smith might be out for the game.
The Saints are a better football team in every phase. But again, I'm going to enjoy the ride.

Speaker 7 I'm going to enjoy watching my team play in the playoffs for maybe, hopefully, four hours, maybe only an hour. Who knows? It's going to be on Nickelodeon.

Speaker 7 Could you imagine not being the Nickelodeon game? Everyone was waiting with bated breath, hoping that they would be the inaugural Nickelodeon playoff game. Guess what? Only one team gets it.

Speaker 7 It's the Chicago Bears, also the first ever seven seed in the NFC. That's right.
Making his history more remember.

Speaker 7 That's right.

Speaker 8 And they should have the big orange. Remember the snick couch that they were set out there by the fire?

Speaker 8 Just have that on the sidelines for the Bears so that they can rotate their quarterbacks in and out of the game. Although, I do think that there is a chance, like if you, if you hit Drew Brees

Speaker 8 in his boobies.

Speaker 7 We lost to the Saints earlier this year in the overtime.

Speaker 8 If you hit Drew Brees, you can win the game.

Speaker 8 If you hit hit him if you don't injure him badly so I think that if you knock Drew Brees out of the game okay Taysom Hill comes in and next thing you know he's pulling the Aaron Rodgers and he's he's dumping his Mormon loads in your mouth if you hurt Drew Brees but make him not hurt but not injured yeah need to hurt him not injure him then you get like the 60% Drew Brees that is not as good as the 100% Taysom Hill.

Speaker 7 I don't, I do not care that the Bears are not a very good football team. All I care is they're in the playoffs, and I'm going to enjoy it.
I'm going to enjoy this week. Guess what?

Speaker 7 I'm going to enjoy every fucking day. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday.
I'm going to enjoy every single one of those days being like, hey, my team has a playoff game this week.

Speaker 7 That is fun. That's fun as a fan to be excited about that.
Now, again, when we get to the game, it might not be enjoyable.

Speaker 8 Oh, it's definitely not going to be enjoyable.

Speaker 7 And if for some reason the Bears pull off a semi-miracle, I think they actually are the biggest underdogs in the

Speaker 7 wild card round. Or sorry, yeah, wildcard round.

Speaker 7 By the way, special thank you to you, PFT, and the Washington football team, for making the playoffs at 7-9, which takes a little heat off the Bears being like 8-8 and not good.

Speaker 8 Happy to do it. And again, not going to apologize for this.

Speaker 7 Not going to apologize. We're not apologizing.

Speaker 8 So

Speaker 7 if they win, though. Yeah.

Speaker 8 Would it be the biggest underdog to ever win?

Speaker 7 No, I was going to say then we have to go to Green Bay and then get shit down my throat again.

Speaker 8 Okay, yeah, that's good. Well, at least you don't have to go there this week.
Like, that actually

Speaker 8 don't have to go.

Speaker 7 That's what's going to. I actually think the Bears are going to win this game solely so Aaron Rodgers can shit down my throat again.

Speaker 8 Do it for Zach Miller. They're just

Speaker 8 in the Super Bowl.

Speaker 7 Dude, I'm still mad about it.

Speaker 8 Listen, that was a fucking touchdown. The NFL Ozzy won.
He's based off his.

Speaker 7 He lost his leg.

Speaker 8 He did. So

Speaker 8 I'm going to guess. I'm going to attempt to predict the spread.

Speaker 7 Yeah. Well, I already tipped it.
Yeah, I know, but that was you.

Speaker 8 That wasn't me. I work for the information that I'm giving right here.

Speaker 8 Bears at the Saints. Saints by

Speaker 8 nine and a half.

Speaker 7 Nine. Over under 48.

Speaker 7 That's disrespectful to the Chicago Bears, but not really, because they're not that good.

Speaker 7 Like, I don't know what...

Speaker 7 I think

Speaker 7 people think they're hurting me when they're like, the Bears are frauds and the Bears are not good.

Speaker 7 You can't hurt me because I know. I know what the Bears are.
They aren't. they're like a better, they're an average team that, if they were in the AFC, wouldn't be in the playoffs.

Speaker 7 They're in the NFC, so I'm not going to apologize. And who the fuck knows? I don't care.
I do not care.

Speaker 7 Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, I'm going to enjoy every single one of those fucking days this week because my team's in the playoffs.

Speaker 8 So say what you want about

Speaker 8 as a podcast, but we're not delusional. I think we know pretty much

Speaker 7 the Washington football team and the NFC championships.

Speaker 8 The Washington football team took

Speaker 7 there's a path. There's a path.

Speaker 8 The path is everybody gets injured or catches coronavirus except for the football team. But, like, we get it.
We get it.

Speaker 8 We don't think that our teams are the best in the NFC. We don't think that they're in the top three in the NFC.
But, you know what we do think?

Speaker 8 It's fun to watch football instead of not watching football.

Speaker 7 Say it with me.

Speaker 8 And I am going to watch football this weekend, and the football team that I watch play football is going to be playing against another football team on Saturday night.

Speaker 7 There's only six games this weekend, and my team gets to play in one of them. Again, just say it to yourself over and over.
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday.

Speaker 7 I'm going to enjoy every single day this week. I'm going to read articles.
I am. I'm going to read fucking articles.
I'm going to read matchup breakdowns. I'm going to read

Speaker 7 keys to the game, quotes from the players. I'm going to consume it all, and I'm going to enjoy it all.
And I'm going to watch the games on Saturday and be like, guess what? My team gets to still play.

Speaker 7 Guess what? Not the first team eliminated. That's a fact.
The Bears were not the first team eliminated in the 2020-21 playoffs. Okay? That's just a fact.
And Nickelodeon, SpongeBob, what's up?

Speaker 7 I will watch that game on a live stream because it's Sunday afternoon, and we will have at least two TVs on the Nickelodeon stream.

Speaker 8 I'm very much looking forward to that.

Speaker 8 I was promised googly eyes. I want to see googly eyes all over the game.

Speaker 7 Do you think Drew Brees' ribs will be better?

Speaker 8 They should.

Speaker 8 They should be glowing. I want to see his ribs glowing.

Speaker 7 I also understand that there is a chance, and I love the city of New Orleans, and every time we've been there, the people have been unbelievable.

Speaker 7 But there is a chance that if the Bears do somehow pull off a miracle and Drew Brees looks bad, that I will never be allowed back in New Orleans because I've said some shit.

Speaker 8 It would be very interesting if Jameis came in.

Speaker 7 and beat the Bears.

Speaker 8 That would be something.

Speaker 7 That would be so, so sad.

Speaker 8 It'd be so bittersweet.

Speaker 7 No, just bitter. It would be very bitters.
Very bitter because I'd be like, holy shit, we're going to get so many picks.

Speaker 8 So the formula is that at times,

Speaker 8 David Johnson is too good. He scores too quick.
So like that first drive. David Montgomery.
Dave Montgomery. Sorry.
Dave Montgomery. If he scores too quick sometimes, he needs to limit the run.

Speaker 8 He needs to have the runs, not the run version 3.0. Yeah.
So like, remember we were talking with Munkin the other week about Army's offense just like taking the soul out of you via these long drives.

Speaker 8 So

Speaker 8 just don't try to get 20, 30 yard runs. Just get a series of six yard runs.
Agreed. Every single time.
Agreed. And you know what? They can't score if they don't have the ball.

Speaker 7 Yeah. It's a fact.
Also, just one last thing for the Packers, because guess what? They're good. Okay.
I'm not, last year, again, I say it how I feel it. Like, last year I thought they were frauds.

Speaker 7 I thought that in my heart. I knew that they played a man football team.
This year they are better. I do think their defense is better.
I'm worried about them going to the Super Bowl.

Speaker 7 I'm just, I'm just, give me a chance, give me a chance late in the game where Marquez Valdez-Scantling has to make a catch. And he will not, and I will love that.
Anyone

Speaker 7 with that minimum

Speaker 8 on the back of their uniform? That's all I want. Can't be a primetime player.

Speaker 7 That's all I want. That's all I want.
All right. Raiders-Broncos, best shootout we didn't even watch.

Speaker 8 Didn't watch it.

Speaker 7 Didn't watch it.

Speaker 8 I bet on the Broncos plus three.

Speaker 7 There you go.

Speaker 7 John Gruding finishes 8-8, which I guess you can weirdly be like, all right,

Speaker 7 we're moving in the right direction.

Speaker 8 8-8 is like, it's a season that didn't happen, basically.

Speaker 7 Vic Fangio staying. Drew Locke, maybe.
I don't know. Jerry Judy had that huge long touchdown that reminded me of the Tebow touchdown.
That was pretty cool.

Speaker 8 It was a good pass by Drew, but yeah, Jerry Judy is fast as fuck. How has Alabama ever lost a football game? Yeah, it's crazy.

Speaker 7 It's crazy. They're just fast.
They're just really, really fast.

Speaker 7 And yeah, that was that game. All right.
If you're mad about that, I mean, again, we just.

Speaker 7 Red zone didn't even show it.

Speaker 8 Yeah, I'm sorry. Like, I I would have watched more of it if it had been on the team

Speaker 7 more often.

Speaker 8 Right. But I think that even if you're a Raiders fan, you're probably not super excited to hear the breakdown of this game.
Right.

Speaker 7 Because it is.

Speaker 8 When you finish eight and eight, it is like the season didn't happen at all unless you make the playoffs.

Speaker 7 In which case

Speaker 7 it's a great fucking year. Not going to apologize.

Speaker 8 But if you finish eight and eight, don't make the playoffs.

Speaker 8 You just kind of turn the page and you go to you fast forward to next season and you're in the exact same place, but you have to look at your roster and be like,

Speaker 8 Am I more excited about this roster going into this season than I was last year? If you're the Raiders, I don't think you are.

Speaker 7 I think,

Speaker 8 maybe. What's going to happen with

Speaker 8 Mariota and Derek Carr? I don't know. I could see John Groom do anything.

Speaker 7 There's some young players that you like. Yeah, that's cool.

Speaker 8 The nice thing about the Raiders is

Speaker 8 they win games on the road. Yeah, that's cool.
Six and two on the road.

Speaker 7 Beat the Chiefs. Beat the Chiefs.
Yep. Colts, Jaguars.

Speaker 7 The Colts love to get leads and then slowly give them away and make everything interesting.

Speaker 7 They're in the playoffs. Congratulations, Colts.
You have to say that the Phil Rivers experiment is a success because they're in the playoffs.

Speaker 7 That is how you judge it. You got him to get to the playoffs.
You're in the playoffs. You were a decent team that fell apart last year.

Speaker 7 You're now a team that was able to sustain it, get some help from the Bills, and get to the playoffs. Now

Speaker 7 you have to go to Buffalo, which is going to be tough. I just, Phil Rivers, like when he

Speaker 7 climbs the pocket to nowhere. He climbs the pocket to nowhere and then throws it.
Like even when he has to throw it

Speaker 7 like a five-yard out, it's very difficult.

Speaker 8 I feel like I've seen these teams play in the playoffs before and they haven't.

Speaker 7 It's Frank Reich. Yeah.
And colors

Speaker 7 and colors it.

Speaker 8 Frank Reich played against the Bills in the playoffs.

Speaker 7 Bills, yeah, I know. Yes, that is true.
But Bills, can you find that for us? Have the Bills and the Colts ever played in the playoffs?

Speaker 7 Playoff matchups. See, the problem is it's all going to be recent.

Speaker 8 Yeah, it's going to be new stuff.

Speaker 8 I think the Bills are going to kick the shit out of him. But yeah, the Colts, they were such a weird team this year.
They were up and down.

Speaker 8 At times, they looked like they were dominant, and then at other times, like they were just week to week. They were super inconsistent.

Speaker 8 And good for them for using Jacoby Brissette to hand the ball off a couple of times.

Speaker 7 I don't believe so. Yeah.

Speaker 8 Okay. That's one of those Berenstein Bears things.
Yeah. Those colors look like they should have played each other in the files.

Speaker 7 Yes. This is going to be a fun game.
I'm excited. It is like, I do think the Bills are getting a little disrespect being the one o'clock Saturday game, which, you know, the ESPN.

Speaker 8 Is that ESPN?

Speaker 7 This year? CBS. Okay, ESPN.

Speaker 9 It's Ravens Titans ESPN.

Speaker 7 Right. Oh.
Oh.

Speaker 7 Yeah. Jimmy Petaro has been doing work.
Jimmy Petaro just fucking glad-handing Roger Goodell. It worked, man.
Yeah. You got a good game.

Speaker 8 So this game,

Speaker 8 the spread on this, I'm going to guess.

Speaker 7 Oh, yeah. Go ahead.
Guess

Speaker 8 seven and a half.

Speaker 7 Six and a half. Wait, we already guessed this.
Did we? Yeah, I think so. I'm fucking delusional.

Speaker 7 What happened? I think we did it when we did the best. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 7 I think I probably got it right though. You got it right.
Yeah, you just got it right. I'm delusional.

Speaker 8 My brain's not working. What happened?

Speaker 7 It's one o'clock in the morning.

Speaker 8 This is when we usually turn on American Ninja Warriors in the background.

Speaker 7 It's coming.

Speaker 8 And

Speaker 7 look, it's been a while.

Speaker 7 We got five games left.

Speaker 8 I'm making up playoff games inside my own head. Yeah.

Speaker 8 I'm convincing myself Tom Brady's injured.

Speaker 11 What happens if something terrible happens during the Nickelodeon game and then they explain it with like SpongeBob?

Speaker 7 Oh, they'll just slime them. They'll slime the whole screen.
No, I think they will. I think they'll slime the screen and then they'll come back.

Speaker 11 Like a Justin Fields hit type scenario in the Nickelodeon game.

Speaker 8 How would SpongeBob explain that, Billy?

Speaker 7 Skowski made a great hit. Bah!

Speaker 7 Billy, Billy, you did that and it didn't play?

Speaker 11 Yeah, it was terrible.

Speaker 7 Tell us real quick.

Speaker 7 Tell us real quick.

Speaker 11 So, I was like with a mixed group of people in my family.

Speaker 7 What do you mean? What do you mean? All social distancing.

Speaker 7 What do you mean, mixed company?

Speaker 7 What do you mean? What's Billy? I don't know. I don't know.
It's like mixed companies. It's not a racist or sex.

Speaker 11 No, it's just mixed company.

Speaker 7 How many dicks? How many chicks?

Speaker 8 It was just like

Speaker 7 acquaintances.

Speaker 11 Couple acquaintances, and I whipped out the SpongeBob laugh, and it really didn't hit.

Speaker 7 No one laughed. Mad awkward.
Yeah. Do it again.

Speaker 7 That's funny. That's on that.
That's hilarious. It's on that.
Fuck that.

Speaker 7 The Spongebob laugh, and they're like, what the fuck, dude? Fuck that bro.

Speaker 8 It's a great litmus test to figure out whether or not they're cool. They failed.
It worked.

Speaker 7 Yeah,

Speaker 7 they don't burn.

Speaker 8 Bills by six and a half. That's what I'm guessing.
Yeah.

Speaker 7 You're right.

Speaker 7 Chargers, Chiefs whipped through this one.

Speaker 7 I mean, the Chiefs sat everyone. Chad Henney wasn't that bad.
And the Chargers, of course, had the perfect Charger season, finished seven and nine, seven of nine losses by one score. Yep, perfect.

Speaker 7 That is the perfect. You got to get rid of Anthony Lynn.
You have a future that is very, very bright.

Speaker 7 They are like the opposite of what we talked about with the Dolphins, where like, you know, Justin Herbert's your guy. That's got to feel really, really good.

Speaker 8 Oh, if you're a Chargers fan, you feel very good about this offense.

Speaker 7 Cool uniforms.

Speaker 7 Went toe-to-toe with the Chiefs twice. You know, they beat the Chiefs when it was the backups, but they remember like week four, they lost in overtime to the Chiefs.

Speaker 7 But yeah, all right. Next up, Rams-Cardinals.
Thank you, Los Angeles Rams. Thank you, John Wolford.
I don't know what the Cardinals were doing.

Speaker 7 Kyler Murray got hurt. Something called a Chris Striveler came in,

Speaker 7 which was John Wolford versus Chris Streveler for the playoffs was a hell of a game. And then Kyler Murray comes back in.
The Cardinals,

Speaker 7 I actually think they just gave up because

Speaker 7 they had third and 18.

Speaker 7 They ran an option play with a hurt Kyler Murray and then they punted the ball with 424 left down two scores and the playoffs on the line and that was it so I think what went through Cliff's brain was he sees Kyler Murray in the game

Speaker 8 tries to run him sees that he's not able to pull off the Kyler Murray offense and he's like well that's all that's all that we plan for so I'm not gonna have him run a traditional offense so let's just punt on this one let's just give up so like Cliff Kingsbury he waved the white flag on the entire season Yep.

Speaker 8 Like, they actually could have made the playoffs. This was, it was delivered to them on a gold platter.

Speaker 7 Yes.

Speaker 8 Like, you were playing John Wolford.

Speaker 7 You were playing John Wolford

Speaker 8 and you played to lose against John Wolford. I'm revoking his quarterback whisperer card.
Cliff, I'm revoking your offensive guru mastermind card. Yeah.

Speaker 8 This is the biggest indictment on Cliff Kingsbury that he's ever produced thus far. This game was his masterpiece, explaining to everybody else what we saw in him, which was big-time fraud.

Speaker 7 Yeah, and the Rams defense played really, really well. Jalen Ramsey, like, locked down DeAndre Hopkins.
Again, it was Chris Striveler, who I feel bad for the guy because he had to come in.

Speaker 7 John Wolford also, like, hilarious team photo shot. People were saying he looks like a McPoyle.
I don't care. I love the guy.
I'll forever love the guy. I hope Jared gets healthy.

Speaker 7 I hope maybe Blake plays. I'm excited for the Seahawks Rams game because I do think the Rams, like, the Rams have had weird games.
They lost to the Jets, obviously, but they're a very good.

Speaker 7 Maybe not very good, but they're a good team and they're a good coach team and they have a good defense. And I think they're going to be a hard out for, like, if they beat the Seahawks,

Speaker 7 who knows? Because who would they play? I mean, would they play the Saints? Like, there'd be a bad matchup for the Saints, I think.

Speaker 8 So I'm looking at Chris Striver Google Images right now. And he actually has an elite Google image.
Yeah, because he won the Gray Cup.

Speaker 7 Because he won the Grey Cup and he party like a rock. Shout out Chris Striever for winning the Gray Cup.
And

Speaker 8 He's pretty photogenic. He kind of looks like if you put Ryan Fitzpatrick through a Ryan Reynolds filter, if one of those existed.

Speaker 8 So, yeah,

Speaker 8 he's chugging out of what appears to be a J.V. Stanley Cup in one of these pictures.

Speaker 8 But yeah, the Rams,

Speaker 8 if they get Goff back, then they could do some damage in the playoffs. But John Wolford isn't going to make that happen.

Speaker 7 Yeah. So

Speaker 7 you want to guess

Speaker 7 what's the spread on that game?

Speaker 8 I'm going to guess.

Speaker 7 And let's talk about the Seahawks 49ers while we do that.

Speaker 8 So Goff is not going to be back for this game. I'm going to guess.

Speaker 7 We don't know that.

Speaker 7 We don't know that. I'm thinking he might not.

Speaker 8 When I'm putting this spread out there, I'm going to say it like Jared Goff is not going to be back. I'm going to say Seahawks by 9.

Speaker 7 4.5.

Speaker 8 What?

Speaker 7 I think he's going to be back.

Speaker 7 4.5? 4.5.

Speaker 7 42.5.

Speaker 7 I mean, remember, these are. They've played three times.
This will be their third game. They know each other.
I think,

Speaker 7 I don't want to say this.

Speaker 8 If golf's back, then, yeah, four and a half makes sense.

Speaker 7 I kind of like the under. If Bordelas is playing, they know each other.

Speaker 7 These teams know each other.

Speaker 7 All right, so the Seahawks did beat the 49ers.

Speaker 7 Weird game. Shout out to C.J.
Bethard. Swag.
Wrong. I was wrong, Billy.
Apologies.

Speaker 7 That cover that he got us, I guess it was kind of his fault that we almost didn't cover because he fumbled.

Speaker 8 But then it was his fault that we were covering before they almost didn't cover. Right.

Speaker 7 So the Seahawks offense, it's very weird. The Seahawks season is so weird because the first half of the season, they were the best offense in the league, worst defense.

Speaker 7 Now their defense looks like average, which is pretty much all they need. But their offense is herky jerky.
Like they weren't, they were bad. They were losing 9-6 in the fourth quarter.

Speaker 7 And I think they scored three touchdowns in the fourth.

Speaker 7 I don't know. Do you

Speaker 7 have the in the NFC real quick, and we'll just lump in because we're trying to gone long and we're trying to wrap up. So the Saints Panthers also happened.

Speaker 7 Jameis went in for three seconds and got an unsportsmanlike conduct. He got the save, though.
It was awesome. He got the save, though.
It was fucking awesome.

Speaker 7 What did he do to get that? He threw his body into a defender like in a comic like

Speaker 7 kind of like after the play. That's what Jameis does.

Speaker 8 He's a fucking flatstick comedian and he's great at it.

Speaker 7 So let's do it real quick. But first,

Speaker 8 before you get into anything on this game, are we sure that Christian McCaffrey is okay?

Speaker 7 I don't know.

Speaker 8 I haven't haven't heard from him. Is he alive?

Speaker 7 All I know is that whenever he comes back, he'll run the ball 40 times. He's and then he'll get hurt.
But I don't know if he's alive. Yeah, well, he's on his commercials.
He's what?

Speaker 8 He's missed

Speaker 8 14 games?

Speaker 7 No, I think he played more than that. Because remember, he came back for a couple games and then got hurt again because they ran him too much.

Speaker 8 I feel like he's missed. He's alive.
About 13 games.

Speaker 7 Is that confirmed, Billy? How do you return alive? How do you fucking know?

Speaker 8 He was kissing his girlfriend.

Speaker 7 Christian McCaffrey.

Speaker 9 Three games this year.

Speaker 7 Three games. He played three.
That's like November 8th. Yeah, he returned and got hurt again.

Speaker 7 Give me your...

Speaker 7 The NFC, wouldn't you say, like,

Speaker 7 I actually think that,

Speaker 7 no offense to us, we're not going to apologize. We're not going to apologize.
But I actually would contend that everyone except us can go to the Super Bowl.

Speaker 7 Let's see.

Speaker 7 I actually,

Speaker 7 you could spin something in my head where I could see it. The Rams obviously be be in the outside because of the golf thing.

Speaker 7 But outside of the Bears and the Washington football team, again, we're not apologizing. I love that we're the two teams that everyone's like, fucking get out of here, guys.
Like, this sucks.

Speaker 7 You're terrible.

Speaker 8 When you look at these two teams.

Speaker 7 We are the official podcast of not apologizing for our teams being sucky and getting the same.

Speaker 8 And then you compare them to the NFC playoff structure. It's probably like a lot of people that look at the top of the iTunes podcast charts.

Speaker 8 And it's like New York Times, the Daily, NPR, and then our two fat asses sitting there talking about dicks all the time, trying to weave in a ham-fisted Hitler analogy to the AFC West.

Speaker 7 We're like,

Speaker 7 yeah, that's just, hey, that's us, baby. Yeah, we're here, baby.

Speaker 8 Schwartz and all.

Speaker 7 Yeah, we are

Speaker 7 like Wake Forest and Duke in the ACC. We're here? Then football.
Not basketball. Although, basketball, it's basketball, really.
He actually stinks.

Speaker 8 But yeah, you can make that argument, big cat. I think that it's probably

Speaker 8 slim chance that either the football team or the Chicago Bears made the Super Bowl this year.

Speaker 7 Yeah.

Speaker 8 But there is a. We're in the

Speaker 7 chip in a chair.

Speaker 8 There is a chance. Chipping a chair.

Speaker 7 But yeah, don't you think that the NFC, you could.

Speaker 7 The Packers obviously can go to the Super Bowl.

Speaker 7 They're the prohibitive favorites because of the buy, and they're probably the best team. The Saints, absolutely.

Speaker 7 If the Saints are playing their best, they can beat everyone. The Bucs, just by the fact that they kick the shit out of the Packers, you got to put them in there.

Speaker 7 The Seahawks, like the fact that their defense is average, and if their offense, like Russell Wilson, I'll never count him out. And then the Rams, the Rams have

Speaker 7 at one point this year? Let's see.

Speaker 8 Yeah, the Rams recently beat the Seahawks. They beat the Seahawks.

Speaker 7 They beat the Bucs. Like, the Rams, and Aaron Donald's, the best player in the playoffs.
Like, the Rams are in there, too.

Speaker 8 They lost to the Rams and then they beat the Rams a couple weeks ago.

Speaker 7 So

Speaker 7 yeah,

Speaker 7 every team but ours could go to the Super Bowl.

Speaker 8 Theoretically.

Speaker 7 I would say they're all not like

Speaker 7 there are no frauds in the NFC playoffs except for the Washington Football League and the Chicago Bears. But we're not frauds because you know what?

Speaker 7 We're the fun guys that show up to the party and it's like, we're not going to steal your girlfriend. We keep it light.

Speaker 7 We're going to fucking just play some beer pong, make some jokes, maybe fall through a table, and have some laughs.

Speaker 8 We keep it light.

Speaker 7 And you know what? No threat, bro. You know what?

Speaker 8 We're the glue guys of the NFC.

Speaker 7 We're making sure that

Speaker 8 the Saints and the Bucs get a nice tune-up.

Speaker 7 Bro, we're not even going to hit on your girlfriend. Like, we won't even talk to her.
We don't talk to her.

Speaker 7 I'm just going to get drunk.

Speaker 7 Chicks being the Super Bowl trophy. We don't even talk.
We don't even look at that shit. We're here to fucking have a good ass time.

Speaker 8 Now, that said, if she comes on to me, like, no, I don't know.

Speaker 7 I don't know.

Speaker 7 No, dude, if she comes on to you, if she comes on to me. If she comes on to us, we won't even be able to pick up the signs.

Speaker 8 I don't know. I don't know if she won't realize what's happening.
What if I'm blackout?

Speaker 7 No. If I'm blackout and she comes on to us, I can't make any problems.
We won't even know what's going on.

Speaker 8 It's not going to happen.

Speaker 7 It's not going to happen.

Speaker 8 And even if I tried, my dick wouldn't work because I'd be too blackout.

Speaker 8 We're tapping the keg.

Speaker 7 We'll do some keg stay. I also think that...
Pop in the pool. We're going to have a fucking great ass time.

Speaker 8 You could make the argument that the top four teams, maybe top five teams in the NFC as a whole, are they better than the top five teams in the AFC?

Speaker 7 Oh, absolutely. The AFC, to me, no offense to everyone in the AFC, but it's the Bills and the Chiefs.
And maybe the Ravens.

Speaker 8 What about the Browns?

Speaker 7 I like the Browns, but I don't.

Speaker 7 I think even Browns fans would say, like, to win three games against, you'd have to beat the Chiefs. You'd have to beat the Steelers.
Like, that's going to be pretty tough with a Titans.

Speaker 8 the best staying up. Those Browns from that first half against the Titans a few weeks ago?

Speaker 7 Those Browns could do it. Okay, so the Browns, the Browns are our friends that are also showing up to the party.
They have a tiny bit of game. They have a little bit.

Speaker 7 They will do the thing where they think they caught eyes with your girlfriend across the bar, but like not actually.

Speaker 7 They're like, oh, did I just catch? Did we just lock eyes? No, you didn't. But you almost did.
Whereas we don't even look at the chicks.

Speaker 7 I think the Browns are going to show up they're they show up with a girlfriend already there yeah and they're like i'm having look at they show off their girlfriend and it's like look how hot she is i'm doing pretty well for myself right guys see i think and then they leave at like 11 30 because they're going to go home and have a good time with their girlfriend they're already happy they're happy to just yeah so you get to be there yeah um all right last up titans texans i just i i wish the texans could play every playoff game because every single one of their games is fun and stupid and ridiculous and it always ends up with deshaun watson losing in a horrific fashion.

Speaker 7 He led the league in passing this year.

Speaker 8 That's crazy. Does JJ Watt hate Texans fans for not showing up to this game? For not leading that defense after that impassioned speech that he gave them last week.
Yep.

Speaker 8 You have to question a guy like that. You have to question his leadership.
JJ, there are a lot of kids out there who are watching you today. Pay your salary.

Speaker 7 And shout out Chat Tracito, 2K. Should be in the MVP conversation.

Speaker 7 It's Aaron Rodgers, MVP, but he should at least be considered because the last running back to win an MVP was 2012, Adrian Peterson, who ran for 2,000 yards. Do you remember

Speaker 8 this like maybe 10 weeks ago when we were talking about Russell Wilson not ever getting an MVP vote? Yeah. He's not going to get an MVP vote this year.

Speaker 7 I think someone might throw him one.

Speaker 8 You think there'll be one person that's like, hey, just that we, you know what? I actually wouldn't hate Denver Rodriguez.

Speaker 7 I won't vote for Aaron Rodgers. I won't either.
So I'll vote for Derrick Henry.

Speaker 8 I'm not going to hate.

Speaker 8 I will be excited if somebody does vote for.

Speaker 8 Russell Wilson just because we can stop having the conversation.

Speaker 7 Oh, wait.

Speaker 7 Derrick Henry or Russell Wilson, were you saying?

Speaker 8 No, Russell, I'm saying like Russell Wilson has never gotten a case. He's not going to get any.
Correct. Yes.

Speaker 7 Derrick Henry might get one.

Speaker 8 But I would be okay if one person voted for Russell Wilson just to troll. We don't have to go through this again next year.
Yeah. But yeah, Derrick Henry should get a lot of it.

Speaker 8 I would vote for Derrick Henry for MVP.

Speaker 7 I think Rodgers is the MVP. It fucking kills me to say it, but Derrick Henry should absolutely get votes.
Maybe a split MVP. Like who's in McNair and Payton?

Speaker 8 Yeah, that was a nice year.

Speaker 7 Yeah, that was cool.

Speaker 7 Also,

Speaker 7 just shout out the Titans for 18 seconds left

Speaker 7 tie ball game on their own 20, and they're like, fuck it, full send. And like, that was so awesome.
No, teams don't do that.

Speaker 7 Teams don't say, and they should, that was a great idea because if you get to the way that game was going, if you get to the coin flip, it's literally a coin flip.

Speaker 7 Like, it's, you know, like when you get to overtime, if you have a decent defense, it's not really a coin flip. It's like, hey, we can get a stop.

Speaker 7 No, whoever won the coin flip was going to win the game because they were going to score because that's how the game was going.

Speaker 8 So I think that Ryan Tannehill, even though he didn't have a great statistical game today, he had, I think, 200 yards.

Speaker 7 Dude, he can run.

Speaker 8 He looked fast today. And Ryan Tanhill in the cold, like when they played in the snow up in Green Bay the other week, he looked so slow.
Yes. He does not like being outside when it's cold outdoors.

Speaker 7 I don't know if the Titans, they just, their defense is so bad.

Speaker 7 Except for the boy.

Speaker 8 Except for the boy.

Speaker 7 The boy is always fucking balling.

Speaker 8 He is. He's playing.

Speaker 7 He's buoyant. He's playing.

Speaker 8 Well, Marshall Newhouse got another boy in the game. He lined up too far off the line of strawberry.
That wasn't fair. That wasn't fair.
You should be allowed to.

Speaker 7 He was just making your first quarterback to get hurt. Right.

Speaker 7 Oh, American Ninja Warriors on. Jeff Harris is out there.
All right.

Speaker 7 We will have tons of playoff talk. We're going to have the Low Man Trophy coming on Tuesday.
What time? Tuesday night. Tuesday night at 6 p.m.
6 p.m.

Speaker 7 live cast right before the Heisman, the only trophy that matters.

Speaker 7 So we will have that.

Speaker 8 Presented by Chevy.

Speaker 7 Presented by Chevy. So, get ready for that, and then we'll have a bunch of playoff content coming up because we're fucking excited to be invited to the party.

Speaker 7 All right, let's do the back half of the show. Who's back? Football guy of the week,

Speaker 7 college football. Let's do it all.

Speaker 1 What's up, guys? It's Big Cat here, making my Irish entrance with proper number 12 Irish whiskey. How do you make an Irish entrance? You ask?

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Speaker 7 All right, let's do some football guy of the week. We've got college football playoffs.

Speaker 7 Final is set. Bowl game recap.
Who's back of the week to finish us up on

Speaker 7 the end of the NFL regular season? All right, Football Guy of the Week. Go ahead, Jake.

Speaker 9 All right, last one of the year. Start off with Cincinnati.

Speaker 7 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. We'll do it in the playoffs.
Football guy of the week.

Speaker 8 We've got a

Speaker 8 national championship, and then we've got football until February.

Speaker 7 This is actually when football guys really come out of the woodwork because there's no football.

Speaker 9 AWLs, tweet me your nominees because we're dealing with less volumes.

Speaker 7 Right, right.

Speaker 7 Yeah, there's going to be quality over quantity. You know what?

Speaker 7 Let's do this, okay? Jake, you've done a wonderful job this regular season.

Speaker 9 Are we going to hand it off to the AWS?

Speaker 7 No, no, no, no. We're going to hand it off to my guy, Billy.
Billy, you are going to be in charge of Football Guy of the Week for the playoffs. No, no, no, no.
Not stripped. Not stripped.

Speaker 7 That was an incredible job. Well done.
Your Dolphins didn't make the playoffs, so you don't make the playoffs. Fine.
You know what I'm saying? So Football Guy of the Week.

Speaker 8 Consider it a promotion.

Speaker 7 James Skalski, Football Guy of the Week. Billy.

Speaker 7 Billy. I think

Speaker 7 the tackle was fine. Right now.

Speaker 8 You're supervising Billy. Okay.
So Jake's now your boss, Billy.

Speaker 7 Yeah, you're his editor.

Speaker 9 All right, here we go. Cincinnati cornerback Justin Harris, after losing the Peach Bowl to Georgia, he watched the entire trophy presentation on the field by himself.

Speaker 8 I love it, just eating it, just staring at it so he's not going to forget.

Speaker 7 And the tweet that accompanied it was so funny. He's like, watch out for this guy.
He's going to be the hungriest guy next year.

Speaker 8 He's going to be the best cornerback for Cincinnati.

Speaker 9 Yes. Lions quarterback Matthew Stafford started the season finale against the Vikings despite dealing with an ankle, rib, and thumb injury.

Speaker 7 In a totally meaningless game, this is why Matthew Stafford should be in the Hall of Fame. Yeah, he knows that his Hall of Fame

Speaker 7 resume is not going to be based on playoff wins because he has none.

Speaker 7 It's going to be based on stats, overall touchdowns, and being like top five in passing all time when he does retire at age like 45 with 16 vertebrae broken.

Speaker 8 Yeah, being super tough, being the toughest person to ever exist in the ANFC North. And as far as I'm concerned, like as far as quarterbacks go, yeah, Brett Favre was pretty tough.
But you know what?

Speaker 8 Like he also got to play for winning teams. You know how much more tough you have to be to play for teams that suck all the time?

Speaker 7 Listen, I think we've said this before, but Ben Rothsberger, when he looks in the mirror, he sees Matthew Stafford. That's what he wants to be.

Speaker 9 Next up, Alabama head coach Nick Sabin. On adapting to recruiting during a pandemic, this is during a pre-Roseville press conference.
He said, you adapt or die.

Speaker 9 The dinosaurs didn't, and they aren't around anymore. It's a fact.

Speaker 8 I mean, if they just built meteor shields like they should have, they'd be fine.

Speaker 7 It also is, we're going to get to the college football playoff, but Nick Sabin has completely adapted.

Speaker 7 I actually read an article, like the,

Speaker 7 remember the kick-six game? It was in that game that Nick Sabin decided that he was going to change everything because Auburn kept on beating him with the RPO.

Speaker 7 And he's like, if they can block this far downfield, I'm just going to start recruiting different athletes and beat everyone that way. And he's done it.

Speaker 8 Yeah, Nick Saban is. Nick Sabin is.

Speaker 7 He doesn't get enough credit for that, though, because old coaches usually die.

Speaker 8 You think about Nick Sabin as being like an old school football guy, which he very much is, but he was also one of the first great coaches to be like, you know what?

Speaker 8 Fuck it, I'm just going full sin on the future. I'm going to become a person from the future and still be the same brand of pissed-off football guy.

Speaker 7 Right.

Speaker 7 It's actually incredible how he essentially changed his entire philosophy and now just puts up like 70 points every game.

Speaker 8 I like to think that Miss Terry contributed to it. Miss Terry is probably just like harp on him all the time behind the screen.
It's like, hey, Nick.

Speaker 8 Nick, you got to get those fellas that can run downfield and buy maybe some verts. Maybe some real lean verts.
Maybe don't make your offensive line eat quite so much cornbread.

Speaker 7 Go full send.

Speaker 9 And then lastly, I had Eli Manning. I also saw a late submission, Frank Reich.

Speaker 7 Did you see what he did with the scoreboard?

Speaker 9 He told him to turn off the scoreboard at Lucas Lotto Stadium so the Colts could, I guess, focus on themselves.

Speaker 9 But Eli tweeted, not sure what to wear for the Giants game today, my jersey or my birthday suit.

Speaker 8 Yeah, we all know that Peyton would have gone birthday suit. Wait, probably right on top of a trainer's face.
Yep.

Speaker 7 Hold on.

Speaker 10 Frank Brick. These guys don't make dumb jokes.

Speaker 7 Wait, and also Frank Breke, yeah, well, he's a corny dad. I actually love the Eli seamless.
So who do we think for the last one on corny dad? Frank, Eli? Oh, Frank.

Speaker 7 I actually noticed that you left one out, Jake.

Speaker 8 Let's hear it.

Speaker 7 Rick Carl from

Speaker 7 the Tuscaloosa, whatever, I don't know, Times or whatever. W-V-A-T-M 13.
You probably know him. And this is not a football guy.

Speaker 8 You probably might know him as the guy that went fishing with Nick Saban once.

Speaker 7 Yeah, so he had, this happened while we were on break, but he said,

Speaker 7 Coach Saban, Nick Saban, held his Rose Bowl press conference today, and a reporter addressed the coach as Hi Sabin. His name is Coach Sabin, not Nick, not Sabin.
Here's why.

Speaker 7 And then he put it, he linked us all to his Facebook page,

Speaker 7 which I won't read the whole thing, but essentially he was like, you have to call him coach, Coach Sabin. He's not your friend.

Speaker 7 And this is coming from a guy who once fished with him. He's been in my dinghy, he said.
So

Speaker 7 don't you think he should be Football Guy of the Week for respecting coaches to the utmost?

Speaker 8 I think respecting the biz to that to that degree is a very solid resume to put on Football Guy of the Week.

Speaker 8 You can also get around this with a life hack because I agree that every coach that has ever put on a whistle and held a clipboard, you're then coached for the rest of your life to those players that you coached at that point.

Speaker 8 You can just name your kid coach if you want to. How sweet would that be?

Speaker 7 I like that he also gave immediate respect. He gave the coach card, like, you know,

Speaker 7 you get the pass to say certain words. He gave the coach card to certain people.
So he said, who in my eyes can call Coach Saban Nick? Miss Terry can. Lifelong friends can.
His current assistants can.

Speaker 7 Perhaps a few in the media world can call him Nick. Chris Lowe, Cecil Hurt, perhaps Feinbaum or Rhys Davis or Tom Rinaldi, you you know, people who know him well.

Speaker 8 Do you mean Mr. Feinbaum?

Speaker 7 But you don't just call Paul Feinbaum. Yeah.
But the last time I checked, none of the above are any of us. Even though, again, he said once went fishing with Nick Sabin in his Twitter bio.

Speaker 8 I do love gatekeeping Nick. He's gatekeeping the word Nick for people.

Speaker 7 That's your...

Speaker 9 Are we actually putting him as a nominator?

Speaker 7 No, no, we're more shunning you as a big J journalist. Well, I said you guys.

Speaker 9 You wanted my take on it.

Speaker 7 These are your people.

Speaker 9 I said, this is why some big J's have the stigma of being dorks you're covering sports have fun oh yeah you dropped a hard D on them that's right no but

Speaker 7 continue Jake

Speaker 9 who gives a S-H-I-T you see that's yeah

Speaker 8 but he also said dork he also said full dork

Speaker 7 I mean like you can have fun it doesn't have to be just like talking where did this guy go to school I don't know he's in Birmingham though Nick Sabin has been in my dinghy He has been in my dinghy.

Speaker 7 We've done some fishing together. Got to call him coach.
Yeah.

Speaker 9 Two of my friends are local sports reporters in Alabama, so they're better than him, even before this incident.

Speaker 7 Oh, man.

Speaker 7 He said it's been something that's been eating at him for, well, about 13 years. That sucks, dude.
Your life sucks that you've been like

Speaker 7 waking up in the middle of the night with like hot flashes.

Speaker 7 Feels like someone just called him Nick.

Speaker 8 I think that's awesome, though.

Speaker 8 I think it's good that we have these reporters that have such a warped perception of what college football is because, like, we were talking the other week about how college football coaches are warlords that just take command of these small towns that have these giant schools and they are unquestioned by anybody.

Speaker 8 I love the simp reporters that go alongside everything that they have to say and like worship the.

Speaker 8 If they were in coming to America, they would be like just tossing like magnolia leaves in front of Nick Saban's feet every time he walked out onto the field. It's crazy.

Speaker 7 I think he actually pulled, I think he edited his own post and took out the dinghy line. I can't find it.
So he maybe he was, people are like, hey, dude,

Speaker 7 you had him in your dinghy.

Speaker 8 Now, what do you think Nick Sabin's reaction to this guy would be?

Speaker 7 Coach.

Speaker 8 I can't say the N-word. What's Sabins?

Speaker 7 Coach, coach, coach.

Speaker 7 Coach Sabins.

Speaker 8 What do you think Coach Sabin's reaction to this might be? If he found out about this guy, do you think he would look down his nose and be like, this guy needs to fuck off?

Speaker 8 Or do you think he would be like, I love you. You are in my inner circle forever.

Speaker 7 He would say, you're a fucking dork, dude. Yeah.
And I don't care.

Speaker 7 Nick Sabin, you could call him shithead if he wins a national title. He does not care.

Speaker 7 All right, so vote.

Speaker 7 You're going to post it, blog it, everything. And Jake, job well done this year.
Great job with Football Guy. Thank you.
Good luck to Billy.

Speaker 7 Supervising. Yes.
Good luck to you.

Speaker 8 You know, you're going to be evaluated on this, Jake. Not this.

Speaker 8 We know what to expect out of Billy already. But if you can elevate him.

Speaker 7 Billy has to blog it. Yeah.
Yeah. Billy has to blog it.

Speaker 8 If you can elevate him to being a productive member of society,

Speaker 7 sky's the limit, Jake. I put my blogging pants on the other side.
So

Speaker 7 let's do Baby Braun of the Week real quick. Let's talk some college football playoffs, and we'll get through who's back of the week.
Hank. Baby Braun of the Week.

Speaker 10 The entire Spurs organization.

Speaker 7 Ooh. Did you see this? No.

Speaker 10 You guys heard about this? No.

Speaker 7 You read about this? Please.

Speaker 7 Enlighten me. Hear this one?

Speaker 7 Do you hear about this?

Speaker 10 I heard about this?

Speaker 10 So someone made the graphic, and then LeBron put the graphic up on his Instagram, and it's like since 2003 or whatever when he came in the league.

Speaker 7 Hold on, I'll pull the graphic up.

Speaker 8 Wait,

Speaker 8 he stole

Speaker 7 it. He stole it.
Yeah,

Speaker 10 his caption was

Speaker 10 my homie from the crib sent this to me just now. So I don't know

Speaker 7 that literal baby Bronze Bonnie James Jr.

Speaker 10 Man, I have no words. The Spurs, the staple and blueprint of winning in our league since even before I entered the league, truly breasts the kid from Acron, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 10 And the stat is just like basically LeBron versus San Antonio Spurs since 2003. It shows that the Spurs have a little more games, but

Speaker 10 and it has the Spurs have a better winning percentage, more playoff appearances, and LeBron has more championships.

Speaker 10 So he baby brawned the Spurs by being like, I'm basically as good as the entire organization, but love the Spurs. You know, they're good guys.

Speaker 8 Just a kid from Acron. Yeah.

Speaker 7 It's Acon's country. Yes, that's true.
All right, PFT.

Speaker 8 My baby Braun of the Week is Henry Garcia's Sperm.

Speaker 7 All of them.

Speaker 8 All of his Sperm or Baby Brons of the week. So both his sons, he had two sons that were fighting on Dezone over the weekend, Ryan Garcia and Sean Garcia, and they both won.

Speaker 8 And he was doing an interview with DeZone and the lady on there said that the real MVP of the night was your sperm. And this old man had the biggest smile on his face.

Speaker 7 I love it.

Speaker 8 That's better than sex.

Speaker 8 If you're like a father that can claim that all your sons are just dominant at their sport and just beating the shit out of people on the same night, and then a lovely lady tells you that your sperm are great, you've made it.

Speaker 8 Like, you should just ascend to heaven at that point.

Speaker 7 Yeah, and the Klitschko is showing up the Klitschko's. They never fought.
Bullshit. Should have fought.
They're like, I think their whole line was like, we'll fight when we play chess. Okay, nerds.

Speaker 7 Don't kick my ass. Billy.

Speaker 7 No, no, no, no, not. You might have to fight the best.
Not the clitchgoes. No, you might have to.
Not the clitch goes.

Speaker 7 I'm going to keep writing checks that you're going to have to cash. Okay.

Speaker 7 All right. My baby Braun of the Week is Graham Mertz,

Speaker 7 my true baby Braun. He just finished his freshman kind of red shirt freshman year at Wisconsin.
Won the Mayo Bowl, broke the Mayo Bowl Mayo Bowl trophy. I'm just so happy that that was such a godsend.

Speaker 7 If you can't be good in, like, if you can't have a great college football year, to play in a hilariously stupid bowl game and treat it like the national championship is the greatest feeling in the world.

Speaker 10 Was the trophy just a big jar of Mayo? No,

Speaker 7 it was like glass, and he broke it, and then he taped a bottle of Mayo to the top of it.

Speaker 8 The trophy.

Speaker 7 He's my baby Braun of the week. Shout out Graham Mertz.
He's going to be a Heisman someday. I made a list of all the haters, just so you know, a lot of people jumped off the ship, not me.

Speaker 8 It was actually improved as a trophy by taping the Mayo to it. Yeah.
And a lot of people, there was a lot of hate about Mayo.

Speaker 8 I feel like the last couple of years, it's become de rigueur to hate mayonnaise. Yeah.
Almost like it's you're performing. That like, oh, look, I hate mayo more than next year.
Guess what?

Speaker 8 Find me a sandwich that isn't improved, like a nice cold-cut sandwich that isn't made better by like a little bit of mayonnaise.

Speaker 8 Or is it like 90% of the world out here eating sandwiches with no condiments on it whatsoever?

Speaker 7 I think SVP said it perfectly. He was like, what's the deal with everyone hating mayo? I don't go like crazy on it, but a little bit of mayo goes a long way.

Speaker 7 You know what it is? It's the upside-down world of bacon on Twitter. Yeah, the ALT.
And everyone loves to say, oh, everything's better with bacon and everything's worse with mayo. No, shut up.

Speaker 7 No, a BLT has

Speaker 7 some mayo on it. It's great.

Speaker 8 It's one of the the greatest sandwiches in the world.

Speaker 7 Otherwise, you're just eating dry-ass bread. Mayo greater than ketchup.
All these haters out here,

Speaker 7 Patrick McCullough. Pass it.
Yeah.

Speaker 10 Way more versatile.

Speaker 7 Whoa. What about ketchup is just a mask.
What about mixing it? Wow. What about mayo chip? That's, I mean, that's very frustrating.

Speaker 7 That's the day that I realized that was the secret sauce for the Big Mac, really. Well, there's some thousand island stuff in there, too.
Ruined my channel.

Speaker 8 But yeah, people need to pump the brakes on Mayo. I've been on team

Speaker 8 anti-mayo for a long time now, but it's gotten too much. You know what? I predict a pendulum to swing in the dynamic department.

Speaker 8 I think we're going to see a back swing back towards the silent majority of you out there. The silent mayority.
We fucking love Mayo.

Speaker 7 Yes, absolutely.

Speaker 11 All right, Billy, do you have a baby run? I'm so happy this didn't get taken. Justin Fields, baby run a little bit.

Speaker 7 Okay, let's do it.

Speaker 7 It's a perfect segue to our college football playoff recap. Justin Fields, incredible.

Speaker 8 I told you.

Speaker 7 Kind of made Drew Brees look like a pussy. Just going to say it because he did play with some ribs that were very, very badly damaged.

Speaker 7 That game was awesome, though. And Dabo got the roasting and dragging that he rightly deserved after ranking Ohio State 11th.
I mean,

Speaker 8 Ohio State needs to rank Clemson 12th. Yeah.
Ryan Day needs to put him as number 12 in this week's coaches poll and get back at him.

Speaker 8 But like, yeah, Justin Fields woke up after he got, he might be one of those guys that likes a little bit. He's a little hurt.
He likes a little bit of pain.

Speaker 7 I hope he's okay for the national championship because whatever Ohio State figured out in that game and Trey Sermon was incredible and he's now doing like an Ezekiel Elliott impression where I think he's had 500 yards in the last two games.

Speaker 7 So essentially if he runs for 200 yards the national title, that will be what Zeke did in their 2014 national title run. But that was an incredible, incredible performance.
And now everyone,

Speaker 7 I don't think there's a debate. Trevor Lawrence is still the number one pick.

Speaker 8 I think it'd be very funny, though, if the Jaguars took fields, let Lawrence fall to the Jets. The Jets took him, and then Trevor Lawrence was a shitty quarterback.

Speaker 8 That would be the most hilarious outcome in all this. But yeah, I think it's pretty obvious they're going to stick with Trevor Lawrence.

Speaker 8 But Justin Fields, like, you'll always have that over Trevor Lawrence, no matter what happens down the line in the NFL, you're like, I whooped his ass. Yes.

Speaker 8 Like, the game that Justin Fields has was, it was one of the best games that I've ever seen by any quarterback at any level. Yes.
That like 68-yard pass that he threw on a dime with the broken ribs.

Speaker 7 Chris Olave, who that was another one, the Cincei cornerback standing on the field. Chris Olave last year, that was, you know, the miscommunication that basically ended the game against Clemson.

Speaker 7 That was a full redemption. Ohio State deserves all the credit for kicking the shit out of Clemson.
That was an ass kicking.

Speaker 7 I love, love, love bull season because the other game, Notre Dame, Alabama, which just became a debate whether Notre Dame deserved to be there. No, it was.
Great backdoor cover.

Speaker 8 It became a debate on whether or not Notre Dame deserved to be a college football program in general.

Speaker 7 But the best part is there's no one else. Like everyone, it's not a Notre Dame problem.
It's a whoever's going to be in that fourth seed is probably going to get the shit kicked out of them.

Speaker 7 Remember Oklahoma last year? They lost by a billion to LSU.

Speaker 8 It'd also be very funny if they allowed Clemson to play against Notre Dame in a third-place game and just had Clemson beat the shit out of Notre Dame again.

Speaker 8 Yeah, and it was funny to listen to Brian Kelly. And you're right.
Like Notre Dame definitely the fourth best team in the country. They had the residue.
They deserved it.

Speaker 8 In fact, like they lost to Alabama, I think, by less than 31. Correct.

Speaker 7 They held out 31.

Speaker 7 They held Alabama 31, and then Texas AM struggled with the UNC team missing their three best offensive players, not Sam Howell.

Speaker 8 So they deserve to be there, but it was very funny in the post-game press conferences when people were asking Brian Kelly about Notre Dame's postseason record.

Speaker 8 And Brian Kelly's got this thing where he acts like being Notre Dame is a condition that he was born with, and he gets mad that reporters are discriminating against his condition that he's at Notre Dame.

Speaker 8 He's like, I don't know why you guys keep asking me about Notre Dame at playoffs. Like, you don't ask us about any other team.

Speaker 8 It's like, well, yeah, because no other team has done in the postseason what you guys have done in the postseason.

Speaker 7 The craziest thing, and this is why I do, I truly love college football so, so much, because bowl season is the best because we basically spend the entire bowl season having arguments that can't be won.

Speaker 7 Like every Oklahoma kicked the shit out of Florida. Florida wasn't trying.
Oklahoma was the fourth best team. Texas A ⁇ M played UNC.
Texas A ⁇ M struggled to UNC.

Speaker 7 They shouldn't have even been in the conversation. Iowa State beats Oregon.
Like all these moving parts, like who's the best? Georgia beats Cincinnati. Cincinnati was undefeated.

Speaker 7 Georgia's the fourth best team. None of it matters because you can never win an argument and everyone has decided what their opinion is.

Speaker 7 And I actually enjoy, like, I enjoy arguing online about it because it's so stupid and fun. And like, that's what sports are about.

Speaker 7 But the craziest part about Notre Dame is Notre Dame is like at its ceiling. Like the only, the only thing that Notre Dame can do, I think, to

Speaker 7 actually get over this hill is they need a Trevor Lawrence or a Tua or a Joe Burrow. Like they need one of those crazy elite quarterbacks, five-star quarterback who can do everything.

Speaker 7 Everything else, they're kind of like, this is what they are. Like they're never going to get

Speaker 7 all the guys that Alabama gets or all the guys Ohio State gets or all the guys club. They're going to get close to it, but they're never going to get all the way just because that's...

Speaker 7 It's a different school in a different setting. They don't have the same, you know, they have different restrictions.

Speaker 8 It could be a lot worse. Yeah.

Speaker 7 It's been a lot worse. Brian Kelly's a good coach.

Speaker 8 Brian Kelly is a very good coach, and some of those losses, like the ass whooping that I think Jamarcus Russell put on Brady Quinn, like obviously all that's not totally on Brian Kelly's resume, although maybe we can put some of it on there just for fun.

Speaker 8 But

Speaker 8 he's as good as a coach and as good as a program as I think they're going to get.

Speaker 8 And I love the arguments around it, like with all the second-tier teams you were talking about, saying like, oh, A ⁇ M got hosed.

Speaker 8 If we were in the college football playoff, we would have done a lot better than Notre Dame.

Speaker 8 I love those because you get to have so many different fan bases engaged in believing that they are the best team in the country and never actually having to prove it.

Speaker 7 Correct.

Speaker 8 Because if they tried to prove it, then Alabama would just dust all of them.

Speaker 7 Beat them all. And

Speaker 7 it's college football is so funny because when you actually break it down, there are three teams, and it's Ohio State, Clemson, and Alabama.

Speaker 7 And then you have, you know, you have certain teams that can join the party, the LSUs, the USCs, if they ever get back, Oklahoma, Georgia. there are teams that are in that

Speaker 7 yeah, but they're in that second tier where it's like if things go right, they have all the pieces. But Alabama, Clemson, and Ohio State are the Death Star.
They're going to be in it every year.

Speaker 7 They're going to be really good every year. So it's essentially like you have to just understand what your ceiling is and, you know, be happy with the, I'm fucking thrilled I won the Mayo Bowl.

Speaker 7 There you go. I won the fucking Mayo Bowl.
That's the sweet spot for Wisconsin football. No, dude, I've said this before.
Like if Wisconsin wins a Rose Bowl, I'll treat it like a Super Bowl.

Speaker 7 I do not care. Like I know what what I am, and it's the crazy fan bases that don't understand their ceiling.
And I think actually, like, I have a lot of friends that are Notre Dame fans.

Speaker 7 I think they actually kind of understand, like, this is what it is. Like, unless we have that incredible five-star quarterback that's dynamic and does everything, this is our ceiling, and it's okay.

Speaker 8 I think everybody under the age of like 45 understands that. But then you get the old timers that are like, yeah, this is Notre Dame.

Speaker 8 We're supposed to be winning national championships every single day.

Speaker 7 I mean, their helmets are so fucking cool. They are cool.

Speaker 8 The golden dome. They really are.

Speaker 7 Like, they are. I guarantee you that Notre Dame, I think I've said this about UNC, but UNC definitely gets at least like two or three recruits a year just on their colors.
Dude, the Argyle.

Speaker 8 The blue Argyle is incredible.

Speaker 7 If I were a stud athlete in basketball or football and I took one look, like, oh, I get to wear that for the rest of my life. Because it's not just in college.

Speaker 7 You get to wear that for the rest of your life.

Speaker 8 Right, that becomes your thing. That becomes your color.

Speaker 7 And Notre Dame's same with the helmet.

Speaker 8 You can even convince yourself, like, my eyes are really blue when when you wear those blue uniforms just like really brings out my irises um i i am disappointed that cincinnati lost just because i wanted another luke fickle i wanted another ucf i wanted another like team that could try to claim a national championship that i would respect uh when they really had no business doing it but that was such a bad it was very bad they deserved to lose they were snapping the ball with 10 seconds left and i i can't really criticize after we all watched what dougs did with clock management but it was pretty bad and it was was a big moment.

Speaker 7 Bowl season's the best, though. I fucking love it.
I love all bowl season. It's so stupid.

Speaker 7 I can't believe people actually complain about watching Army versus West Virginia at like 2 o'clock on a Thursday.

Speaker 8 And then coaches got really fast all of a sudden. Kirby Smart was legging it out.

Speaker 7 Kirby Smart has so much energy.

Speaker 8 He's got a lot. Jimbo Fisher had some wheels on him.
Georgia, I noticed they lead the NCAA in having players playing in, wearing unusual numbers for their positions that they play.

Speaker 8 They always have like a middle linebacker wearing number five.

Speaker 7 Dude, did you see Cord Sandberg? Ryan Sandberg's nephew came in for Auburn. He's a lefty quarterback wearing number 24.
It's weird, isn't it? It's crazy. Like George a noble.
I'm a cord guy now.

Speaker 7 Isn't that not even allowed?

Speaker 7 I had no idea. It was the craziest thing.

Speaker 8 You can do whatever you want.

Speaker 7 I'm pretty sure George.

Speaker 10 I think there's a certain 1 through 20 for quarter football.

Speaker 7 Well, they run out of numbers, so there are multiple numbers on a given team in college football, which I think the Knicks actually did that last week. Did you see that?

Speaker 8 The Celtics are about to run run.

Speaker 10 No, the guy had the 25 on the front of his jersey, 23 on the back.

Speaker 7 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 8 But there's always like a tight end on Georgia that wears number 23.

Speaker 7 Right.

Speaker 8 And it's, it boggles my mind. If I'm like a scout, it's a good thing I'm not an NFL scout anymore.
Because if I was and I saw like a tight end wearing number 23, it could be Rob Gronkowski in college.

Speaker 8 I'd be like, that guy sucks. That guy should be playing linebacker, or that guy should be playing running back.

Speaker 7 Yes, yes. What do you say?

Speaker 11 I think a little bit of explanation. So basically, one to 49 is for all types of backs in college football.

Speaker 7 Okay.

Speaker 11 Whereas anything above that is linemen, like guards have to go like 50. Okay, players who wear numbers from 50 to 79 are by rule prohibited from catching or touching forward passes.

Speaker 7 That's one of the only reasons. Very cool.
Nice, Billy. Good job.

Speaker 7 All right, let's finish up with Who's Back.

Speaker 7 Hank, you want to go Who's Back of the Week?

Speaker 10 Sure, my Who's Back of the Week is

Speaker 10 MLB Hall of Fame voters just making everything about themselves.

Speaker 7 Oh, yeah. But who else is it about?

Speaker 10 Well, exactly. So this guy, David Scretta.

Speaker 7 These are your people, Jake.

Speaker 10 David Screda, first-time voter, submitted a blank ballot.

Speaker 7 Completely blank.

Speaker 10 I love it. And in his email, he wrote, those that I believe performed at a Hall of Fame level on the field did not reach that threshold in such areas as character and integrity.

Speaker 8 Every player that was a Hall of Famer in terms of their career did not meet. What are his off-the-field metrics that he's using? Did he publicize those? But I also don't.

Speaker 10 I mean, besides like steroids and gambling, when has that been a factor in Hall of Fame voting?

Speaker 8 That's a good point. I mean, Ty Cobb is in the Hall of Fame.

Speaker 7 Exactly.

Speaker 10 Besides, like, I don't know.

Speaker 7 Which Julus Joe isn't, right?

Speaker 7 He was gambling. Right.
Oh, you're saying anything else. Yeah.

Speaker 7 Dan Heron should get the vote. Dan Heron should be the vote.
Oh, good job with your Dan Heron presentation, Billy.

Speaker 11 I got that number factor wrong.

Speaker 7 Okay. All right, great.

Speaker 8 Okay. You sounded confident when you said that.

Speaker 7 Yeah, good job. I believed it.

Speaker 7 By the way, one of our who's back just as a team is Billy because we, some of us, Hank, Jake, and Billy were traveling a little, very safe, not shaming.

Speaker 7 They were traveling and we just said, hey, when you come back, get a Cocoa test.

Speaker 7 And Hank and Jake immediately were like, yes, on it. And Billy said, I actually will this time.

Speaker 7 So, meaning he has definitely not the previous times we've asked him to get one.

Speaker 8 I've never been in that risk situation. We did not know that Billy had never received a lot of money.

Speaker 7 But you have told us you had shot one. You told us you'd been negative.

Speaker 8 In fact, Billy sent a screenshot of one of his tests to us. God knows where he got that from.

Speaker 7 I actually will this time. All right, PFT, what's your who's back?

Speaker 8 My who's back of the week. Actually, we discussed a little bit.
It's just the state of Ohio in general. The state of Ohio is back big time.
This is your week.

Speaker 8 Congratulations, Ohio, because who knows what's going to happen next week? You got the Browns at the Steelers, and then you have Ohio State against Alabama.

Speaker 8 Might just be a one-week run for you, but you know what? You'll always have this one week, and it's pretty impressive.

Speaker 8 I loved having Jim Nance call a game in Ohio. Tony Romo conveniently came down with the coronavirus to avoid traveling to Ohio, which he hates to do.

Speaker 8 Jim Nance, there's just, I know he's got like some relatives or some like family history in Ohio. You can just hear the disdain in his voice.
Yes.

Speaker 8 Like Jim Nance is not a man who enjoys being inside anywhere that doesn't have like either a golf course immediately on the property or an ocean cliffside within 15 miles nearby.

Speaker 7 Yes, yes.

Speaker 7 I'm excited for the Browns. Fuck, I'm so excited for the Browns.
All right, my who's back of the week is the internet being the worst. Guess what? It's 2021 and the internet hasn't changed.

Speaker 7 Bean's guy. Bean's dad.
Bean's dad got canceled. Who's Bean's Dad? Bean's Dad.
For people who don't live your life on Twitter, first of all,

Speaker 8 good choice.

Speaker 7 You probably have an unbelievable life. Anyway, this guy who I think hosts a podcast with Ken Jennings tweeted a long thread about how his nine-year-old daughter asked, said, I'm hungry.

Speaker 10 So that off the bat, there's a chance that it's all satire?

Speaker 7 Could be. Could absolutely be.
I didn't know that. Yeah.

Speaker 10 That makes me seem like if it's if he's

Speaker 7 definitely a podcast with a comedy writer, right? There was definitely some embellishment.

Speaker 7 But anyway, he was like, I was doing a jigsaw puzzle, and my nine-year-old daughter was like, Daddy, I'm hungry. I want some beans.

Speaker 7 And he basically then went on a thread saying he told her how to, she needs to figure out how to use a can opener. And she went six six hours without eating.
Everyone was claiming child abuse.

Speaker 7 The internet sucks. And then they found his old tweets, and I will now disavow Bean's Guy, but Bean's Dad, but really disavow the entire internet for being the worst.

Speaker 8 I'm disavowing Big Cat for not taking the time to do an advanced Twitter search.

Speaker 7 Tell the guy who tweeted you.

Speaker 8 So I got a DM from somebody.

Speaker 8 Yeah, wait, hold on.

Speaker 7 Let me first say, so I... Started the morning and I was like, I got no problem with Bean's Dad because I'm, as a father, I'll pull that card.

Speaker 7 I think telling other people how to parent their children is the lamest thing you can do.

Speaker 8 Well, no disrespect to families, but you need to feed your kid more often than once every six hours

Speaker 8 from television.

Speaker 7 Maybe America is the most obese country in the world when six hours of not eating is considered child abuse.

Speaker 8 So, Big Cat went out there and made himself a Bean Dad stand.

Speaker 7 I was like, hey, this is his prerogative. He's a nerd, not a dork.
He's a nerd.

Speaker 8 So then I got a DM from somebody being like, care to comment for your racist, or for your co-host standing up for a racist, misogynist, anti-Semite? And I was like, excuse me?

Speaker 8 And I saw a link to a tweet, and it was some of Bean Dad's old tweets that used some offensive language. And then I was like, wait, so now I have to disavow Big Cat, which I'm doing so right now.

Speaker 8 Thank you.

Speaker 8 I disavow Big Cat for you not having the presence of mind to do an advanced Twitter search with the N-word, the word Jews, and the word rape for this guy's mentions going back all the way to 2010.

Speaker 8 You should do that.

Speaker 8 Before you take a stand on the internet, Make sure you do that search for anyone.

Speaker 7 The internet fucking sucks. I can't wait for the day where I can just...
It's goodwill hunting. No speaking by.
No see you later. Just gone.

Speaker 8 I have to take a lot of credit for my own brain when I woke up this morning and I saw that the internet was trending about a 28 thread tweet thing about a guy that didn't feed his daughter beans and I opted out.

Speaker 8 I said, you know what?

Speaker 8 It's a playoff day for the Washington football team. That's rat poison.
I can't afford to waste any middle capital.

Speaker 8 I like how that,

Speaker 8 yeah, that's all I'm going to say about that. I won't go any further down.

Speaker 7 I'll disavow his old tweets, but

Speaker 7 to me, it's just so funny because I just saw a bunch of people's replies.

Speaker 7 Like, none of these people are parents because a nine-year-old can, one, get their own snack and two, fucking YouTube how to use a can opener. There will be at least three thought pieces on Beans Dad.

Speaker 8 On Bean's Dad within the next two days on the internet. If I know the internet, and I think that I do,

Speaker 8 look for that on BuzzFeed too.

Speaker 7 Why Bean Dad tells us more about ourselves than anyone else? All right, wrap it up, Billy.

Speaker 8 Who's back to the business? BuzzFeed should absolutely do a quiz. Like, what kind of bean are you, Dad?

Speaker 7 Like, for dads. 10 Times You Were Beans Dad also just shows a picture of you personally being racist.

Speaker 8 A slideshow of starving children that would have loved those beans.

Speaker 10 Jumps through January is casual this year.

Speaker 7 Casual. Casual Jumpsuit January.
Show day, mandatory. Every other day, casual, because it's a mindset.
It's about

Speaker 7 being comfortable in whatever you want to wear.

Speaker 8 I did spend $600 on historical jumpsuits.

Speaker 7 That was my biggest problem. Is every year I bought jumpsuits that I then had to give away, and I was like, I don't have any jumpsuits.

Speaker 7 I can't go through all this again, but I will be wearing them every show day.

Speaker 8 That was just for me, though. Like, I don't blame you guys for not getting on.

Speaker 7 I just, I saw that. I'm wearing one right now.

Speaker 8 I saw a Marie Antoinette jumpsuit, and I was like, I got a bite.

Speaker 7 Got a bite. All right, Billy, wrap it up.

Speaker 11 Form tackling.

Speaker 7 Yeah. I mean, Miskowski.
Yeah.

Speaker 7 That had people hot. I had to mute my own tweet because people were going fucking crazy.

Speaker 11 I was in the trenches on Twitter.

Speaker 7 Yeah, I love it.

Speaker 7 I loved it.

Speaker 11 So if you didn't know, Skalsky, James Skalski, made an awesome tackle

Speaker 7 on Justin Fields. He broke Justin Fields.

Speaker 7 Okay, they tell quarterbacks, don't run recklessly because if you get hurt, it's bad for the whole team.

Speaker 11 And then you have Justin Fields spinning into a guy and getting his ass handed to him.

Speaker 7 It is how it should happen. Billy, you are right in the fact that quarterbacks are the only, they're the only guys on the field that have a tool to keep themselves safe by sliding.

Speaker 7 so when you spin last second and you get hurt it's like well you could have slid

Speaker 8 i think that actually like watching all this football and all this you know all the instant replays in a football game in slow-mo has done for football viewers what hardcore pornography has done it's brilliant for sex havers yep it's desensitize you from like the real contact parts of the game where yeah you if you're skowski probably don't duck your head down all the way yeah and lead with a crown head

Speaker 8 that's for yourself and that's easier said than done too but like don't bend your head down all the way like that.

Speaker 8 But at the same time, if you're not, if you're playing the game in real time, Justin Fields just straight up spun into your head.

Speaker 7 And they were going a million miles an hour, and he was trying to tackle them with his shoulder and ended up with his head.

Speaker 11 He would have just wrapped up his legs, but Justin Fields was like...

Speaker 7 spun

Speaker 7 and then hit the crown of his helmet. The minute you slow it down a million, like to a million frames a second and you're like, well, this is exactly you can't watch these replays.

Speaker 7 And intent should matter. If a guy headhunts, if a guy's Vontez Berfick headhunting over the middle, yes, kick him out.
But when it's clear that Skousi wasn't trying to do that, it should be cards.

Speaker 7 I actually threw out Mike Greenberg's dumb rules.

Speaker 7 It should be if you, if a guy gets called for targeting, the coach gets to decide either give the other team three points or you get to you give the other team three points and he can stay in or he's ejected.

Speaker 7 I like that. So then you end up having like a list.
Your coach now has another card that's like, who's actually worth three points? Oh, I like that.

Speaker 8 He's got that on on the other wrist now.

Speaker 7 Yeah, and then the walk to the locker room when your coach basically says, you're not worth three points, see ya, would be great.

Speaker 8 I was saying that the player that committed the targeting should have an opportunity to apologize to the player that he targeted.

Speaker 8 And then if the player that got hit by the targeting wanted to accept the apology, then the guy could come back in the game, maybe, maybe a couple plays later, maybe like sit one or two out.

Speaker 8 But if he explains what he did wrong, does like maybe a slideshow type thing, like what Billy has done for us in the past, if he's able to like articulate, here's what I did wrong, and here's what I've learned from the situation.

Speaker 8 Right. Boom, get him back in.

Speaker 7 And it also is like almost always we're just playing the results. If a guy's down injured, it's like, okay, well, that's targeting.

Speaker 7 Like, if Justin Fields pops back up, I guarantee you that play doesn't get called targeted.

Speaker 8 I would also, I would love to have the coaches be responsible for accepting the apologies or not, because then you would see, because there would be some coaches that would always accept the apology and be like, that kid's a good kid.

Speaker 8 You know what? He's got a good future. He's an outstanding young man.
Dabbo would never.

Speaker 8 Dabo would never. Ever.
But he would always expect the other guy to do it. Yes.

Speaker 7 All right. What do you got?

Speaker 11 Well, I just hate how when defensive players get shaken up on a hit and then they get

Speaker 11 hit for targeting, like, you know, it was just a collision.

Speaker 7 It's no one's fault. Right.
It's true.

Speaker 8 It's football. It's discrimination against defensive players, Billy.
Exactly.

Speaker 7 Turn it on, Billy.

Speaker 8 All right. Give me an eight.
Give me an eight.

Speaker 7 18. First of the year.

Speaker 8 Let's go.

Speaker 7 By the way, shout out to Liam for getting it when it was only three of us here. And I shouldn't have said that before.
No. You don't believe us.

Speaker 7 He absolutely got it.

Speaker 10 If I wasn't editing the show,

Speaker 10 I would have thought it was fake.

Speaker 7 If you listened, right? But you saw it.

Speaker 10 I saw, yeah, I saw the there was no cuts.

Speaker 7 Right. All right.

Speaker 7 100. 4.
35. 8.

Speaker 10 JJ Reddick.

Speaker 7 83. What do you got, Jake? 18? Yeah, 18.

Speaker 7 What do you have, Hank? 4.

Speaker 10 JJ Reddick.

Speaker 7 35. 4.
Oh, good. 3.

Speaker 7 87. 87.

Speaker 7 All right.

Speaker 7 Shout out, Kronk.

Speaker 7 Shout out, Kronk. What a dude.
what's your back?

Speaker 7 You don't have one. No, I do.
I do. On every showcase in the coming year, it's what?

Speaker 8 We've got two weeks.

Speaker 8 No?

Speaker 11 Reindeers are called caribou.

Speaker 11 I don't have a red one now.