NFL Week 17, Fastest 2 Minutes, CFP Recap, And We're Not Apologizing For Making The Playoffs

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On today's part of my take, week 17 recap. Fastest two minutes.
Playoff picture is officially set. We talk about everything that happened.
We talk about Sunday night football. People mad at the Eagles at Doug Peterson.
The Bears back into the playoffs. We're the Not Apologizing Podcast.
We have everything. We have college football playoffs, all the football that we missed when we were off for the last few days.
We have Who's Back of the Week, Baby Braun of the Week, Football Guy of the Week, a packed show to end the NFL regular season. All games played.
Thank you, Adam Schefter. We're going to get right back to the of my take.

Let's go. Boy! Boy!

Now in the street there is violence And then a lot of stuff work will be done

No place to hang out or wash in

And then I can't lay all on the sun

Oh no

We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue

And then we'll take it higher

I'm out. I can't live all on the sun.
Oh, no. We're going to rock down to Electric Avenue.
And then we'll take it higher. Oh, we're going to rock down to Electric Avenue.
It's Part of My Take presented by Barstool Sports. Welcome to Part of My Take presented by the Cash App.
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Today is Monday, January 4th, week 17. The regular season is done.
256 games. Did I have that right, Teej? I think that's about right.
And they were all played, Big Cat. All played.
It's boom. Mission accomplished, boom.
All right, we start in western New York where Josh Allen Dershowitz was racking up the barely legal bills and scoring at will on the Dolphins until Matt Charles Barkley took over throwing the Dolphins through a glass window and out of the playoffs. It will have to be wait till next year for Pua Tagliavoa as Buffalo look like a bunch of Japanese fishermen looking to net a two-a-fish but slaughtering a bunch of dolphins instead.
The Bills are locked and loaded for the playoffs. Isn't there a saying for that? Oh, yeah.
No one circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills as the Bills hang off 50-burger or a 50-beef- 50 beef on weck if you know what I'm saying, Western New York, on the Dolphin 56-26 what? Kirk Cousins thunderstruck quickly in the game with a touchdown to Chad ACBB and the Vikings are back in black with a division win for the Lions Lions, it's officially draft season. And for those about to mock, we salute you.
Dalvin cooked up a nice Christmas CJ ham delivering a facial, leaving Lions fans look like they just got honey glazed. In Detroit, home of the Queen and my good friend, rest in peace, Aretha Franklin, where Adam sang to Kirk, You make me feel, you make me feel, you make me feel like your contract's absurd and the Vikings went 35, lines 32.
Who they, who they, who they say they're going to beat them Bengals? Pretty much everyone. Lamar Jack Sonny Digital put his stamp on Cincinnati as the Blackbirds QB was making tracks through the Bengals' defense.

Coach Zach Eric Taylor says full eyes, clear farts,

always lose to the Ravens as the Bengals finish a season to forget.

My eyes at Monday Night Football game, boom.

That Monday Night Football game, who can forget that one?

Brandon Ray Allen is getting there, and by there, I mean back to being a backup and also switching back and forth from his dick to his tongue. John, are you going to Harborough Fair is taking the Ravens back to the playoffs with a great stretch run.
Ravens 38, Bengals 3. Some spread.
Mike's hard glenonade got his long neck portal twisted off all afternoon as say it ain't so, but Phillip Rivers Cuomo was left wheezing as Doug Oof Marone is going to be singing soprano while he held Christopher Moltisante Conley's nose on the side of the road like a dog. John Nathan for you, Taylor, made some wonderful business decisions and plowed through the Jaguars like they were imaginary friends that were smiling just out of the picture.
Colts, 28, the Jacksonville Jaguars, 14. In Cleveland, where jolly old St.
Nicholas Chubb asked Browns fans, is that a banana in your pocket or you just happened to be back in the playoffs for the first time in 18 years Lehighem the celebration in Cleveland is better than a video of Kareem Pie Kareem Pie Hunt pounding the inside all day you like them cream pies stick it in there boom on the other side of the ball Mercedes Ben Roethlisberger was put in the garage for the day and Mason Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer had some, had some very shitty throws. And if you ever saw him, you would say he blows.
Good news for all parties included. It's Brown Steelers next week in the playoffs.
Yes, again, the Cleveland Browns are in the playoffs. And Cleveland hasn't been this hot since Drew Carey was singing Cleveland Rocks.
Browns 24, Steelers 22. The NFC Norse had a showdown on the lake Sunday at No Limit Soldier Field, singing Khalil, you won't good, won't you mack that ass up, sacking Aaron Rodgers with his behind, and proving that hard twerk beats talent when talent doesn't twerk hard.
Mitch Hedberg-Trabisky reminded everyone quarterbacks don't break, they just turn into running backs, and Matt Nagy said in the postgame, I don't have a quarterback. I just have a player who would be really mad if he heard me say that.
Karen Rogers would like to speak to his game manager and the playoffs run through the frozen tundra. Packers 35, the Bears 16.
In Houston, where? Tractor Cito. He's in his bags like Ranch Doritos.
Get under your skin like he's a mosquito. Make Coach Rabel cut off his pee hole.
Tractor Cito. Derek Henry Kissinger committed war crimes against a Texans defense, officially entering the 2K club.
It's in the game, boom. That's EA Sports, you ignorant fucking slut.
It was a tough season for the Texans, and Romeo must die. but Deshaun Elementary, my dear Watson, made the game boom that's ea sports you ignorant fucking slut it was a tough season for the texans and romeo must die but to sean elementary my dear watson made the game look easy even if his team fucking sucked sam he's a slow man doink doink doink doink doink the titans into the afc south crown as tennessee is looking to run the brable get it that's the coach's name tit Titans 41, Texans 38.
And on the 12-year anniversary of the most famous one-car accident of all time, Robert Tiger Woods ran like he was being chased by his wife with a five-iron and a nasty grudge. The Rams Sunday was like a nice round of golf.
Jared, that is, using every play in their bag to bludgeon the cards. Collar Bill Murray was seeing gophers in the secondary as he looked extra Judge Small standing in the pocket.
Judge Wolford Brimley made the Cardinals say, Hold my Arizona sweet tea or else this guy's going to die and beat us. Rams 18, Cardinals 7.
Standing on a corner, Jameis Winston down in Nola, such fine sight to see It's Taysom Hill my lord With the dick soap warm Like crab legs after a robbery Come on Taysom Let Jameis play some Just don't let him round any snatch. He's not chasing Statham.

The Saints go marching.

We're going to get right back to the show.

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All all right back to part of my take and week 17 in the books part of my take is officially the not apologizing for going to the playoffs podcast sorry i'm not sorry we're not gonna apologize never will say i'm We both backed in. Guess what? We're the podcast of champions, Big Cat.
Yes! Imagine your team not winning the division this year or going to the playoffs. Couldn't be me.
Couldn't be me. Couldn't be Hank.
Jake? Wait, did you? The Dolphins? No, but we got a score gone. Oh, they got a score gone.
Alright, let's start with Sunday Night Football and then we're going to recap every game. We're going to skip or we're going to go quickly through a couple games that had no significance, but we got a lot to talk about.
Playoffs are set. Sunday Night Football, the Nate Sudfeld game.
Holy shit, are people angry. PFT, the Washington football team wins the NFC East in a game that they could have lost.
NFC East, period. We win the NFC East.
That's the end of that sense. I didn't truly understand how you felt earlier this year when people were asking you to apologize for the Bears winning football games.
Don't apologize. You never apologize.
Listen, this banner is not going to say we beat Nate Sudfeld on it. It's going to say 2020 NFC East division champion Washington football team, the Washington football football team, football club.
Yes. So people are very mad.
Giants fans, they have every right to be mad. Well, actually, let me curb that real quick.
You could have won more than six games. You won six games.
You won six games. I feel bad for Giants fans.
I don't think that they – like it's not like they're a 10-win team. The Dolphins end up with 10 wins, which will get to them.
They won six games. If you win more games, you're in the playoffs.
If you win one more game, you're in the playoffs because you actually beat the Washington football team twice. I do get the frustration of that is pretty much the most painful death that you can have when you're watching the Eagles, who were kind of better than the Washington football team with Jalen Hurts in, and they have first and goal.
They go for it on fourth down. He misses a guy who's running open free, and then Doug Peterson puts in Nate Sudfeld, waves the white flag, essentially says, we're going to roll over and let you beat us.
And the Washington football team tried to give the game back like four times. If you're a Giants fan, you watched that entire game hoping, just praying that Nate Sudfeld would find some kind of inner genius and throw a touchdown pass or do any kind of positive play.
It turns out Nate Sudfeld is not good, and Doug Peterson lost on purpose, and that's how the NFC East kind of deserved to end. It was a perfect ending for the division.
After everything that we've been through together as a division all year long, you didn't think that it was going to end pretty. You didn't think it was going to be like a shootout and one of the best Sunday night football games.
But in an interesting stroke of Nate Sudfeld came in Nate Sudfeld who has been trained by the old Washington football team

regime he learned everything that he knew about football at the professional level

from our former coaches he gets put in for the Eagles and now he sucks because we trained him

wrong and we did it not having any idea that this would ever happen but the eventually in life

I don't know. in for the Eagles and now he sucks because we trained him wrong and we did it not having any idea that this would ever happen but eventually in life you can be so incompetent that you will eventually help out your future self with your past incompetence which is what the franchise did tonight and there was, I'm not going to apologize for it, I do understand listen, we won the division I would slap you in the face you apologized.
I get it, Giants fans. I hope that you'll root for the division because we are taking on Tom Brady next week.
Tom Brady, who is 1-3 against the NFC East in the playoffs, you might recall. We're the best division against Tom Brady, so I said before the game I was going to root for the Giants if the football team lost.
I want to open up the bandwagon. You don't have to publicly, you know, you don't have to wear the burgundy and gold.
You don't have to sport a big W on your head. But it would be nice.
The more the merrier. We can all come together in the NFC East to root against Tom Brady.
I think Giants fans have every right to be upset. Again, you won six games.
You won six games. You won six games.
And I was the biggest cheerleader for the Giants overachieving this year and putting together a nice stretch there. And Daniel Jones actually looked good.
We'll get to the recaps of every game. But you won six games.
Now, I do get on a basic level, if you're on the eagles you're probably like what the fuck like we're out there playing football a lot of us are playing for non-guaranteed pretty much everyone's playing for non-guaranteed money a lot of you are playing for your next contract and doug peterson is like haha just kidding we're gonna throw the end of this game i would be pissed if i was an eagles player oh because the the Eagles player, like, what does an Eagles player care if they're going to move up three spots in the draft? By the time the player that you draft is going to be, like, a really good player, you'll probably be retired or on a different team just by the nature of how long the NFL, like, careers last. And if you're a wide receiver on the Eagles, if you're a Thega Whiteside, if you're a player on offense that depends on having a functioning quarterback under center, you're probably pissed off that Nate Sudfeld came into the game.
It makes you look bad in general. Doug Peterson, we could ask, did he lose the locker room tonight going into next season? Because there will be some of those guys that are like, wait, so first you pissed off Carson Wentz went to Jalen Hurts which looked like it was the right decision but still now Carson Wentz is saying what do you say like this relationship is over beyond fracture it's over um that's like Facebook official over yeah no he's the the no long Doug Peterson no longer my friend you know if Doug just new friend Carson is going to show up like the text at 2 30 a..
to Carson Wentz is going to have Carson showing up in a whipped cream bikini, though. The second Doug Peterson shows a little more interest.
No, he's got his eyes on Frank Wright. Also, Doug Peterson, dude, if you can't keep your glasses, like we are day 300, 320 in a fucking pandemic.
Everyone has figured out how to keep their glasses from fogging when they have their mask on. what not jake you put a little tissue paper at the top of it i know that but like when you're walking yeah you put a little tissue paper on the top of it you dude uh paul christ had had so much fucking tape at the top of his mask he probably still has that thing on because he taped it he used a whole scotch tape roll to keep his mask down.
Doug Peterson, all I'm saying is when you do something like that, keep your glasses unfogged. You just look like more of a buffoon.
Yeah, and he had a giant mask. It's like him and Mike McCarthy have the two biggest masks in terms of square footage in the NFL.
Did you see, by the way, the Eagles got no-tapped. The Eagles got got notes apped by Dan Orlovsky.
This is one of those ones that Dan Orlovsky is going to wake up tomorrow morning and be like, whoa, I got a little emotional. What did he? The tweet was, that was a mockery.
And then he put on his notes app, it's fair to laugh about the NFC East this year, but at the end of the day, the four teams played to win every week until the last game of the

last week of the season.

The Giants and Cowboys battled their tails

off today for what they thought was a chance

when in reality, they didn't

have one. The NFL is a league that is

about respect. In every aspect,

Philly is a city that prides itself

Shut the

fuck up, Dan Orlovsky. Dan, you played for the Detroit Lions.
He invoked the Philly nature. The NFL is a league that is about respect.
In every aspect, Philly is a city that prides itself on having a chance when no one thinks they do for never, ever giving in. No one that bows down and looks for the easy road.
What happened to respecting the game and respecting the other teams in the league? He no-tapped it. He no-tapped it.
I thought you were saying he no-tapped it. He no-tapped it.
He hit the fucking division with a no-tapped. The Eagles in the city of Philadelphia in the NFC East with a no-tapped.
And listen, there's a part of what he said there that I do kind of agree with. I just alluded to it with, like, if you're an Eagles player, you've got to be pissed.
But any time you go to the notes app and it's not a joking matter, you're a clown. Like, that's a clown move.
Don't notes app. Never notes app.
The minute you notes app for real, like, that's, come on, man. You're going to look back tomorrow morning and be like, whoops.
I'm going to have to no zap Dan Orlovsky. That's the only way that you can combat a no zap is to no zap on top of it.
It's no zap off. Listen, Dan, I'm sorry that you've got a haircut that reminds me of Forrest Gump mixed with Todd McShay that got rolled into one giant.
Be nice. Dan, you seem like a nice guy.

He does seem like a nice guy.

You love Carson Wentz.

You're always screaming on television.

He's always on my fucking television screaming about Carson Wentz.

I don't know.

His job, what?

That's what it is.

His job is to go on TV every day

and yell at me.

Do you know what he's done?

While I'm watching,

I'm trying to watch Get Up

and listen to Mike Greenberg

give me a peaceful take

about how Adam Gase is a disgrace.

And I've got you screaming at me about how Carson Went wince is actually underrated dan oh no dan give it a break you just broke the one rule you can't break you're supposed to be the unbiased all 22 breaking down the film guy we're the fans that say stupid shit and and knee-jerk reactions and tweet things like, fucking hate aaron rogers dan orloski's mad at doug peterson because he benched carson wentz and now he's taking out on doug you know what you let your you got your feelings in the way you know what your notes app your feelings why don't you why don't you wait until tomorrow morning when you can break down the film on nate sudfeld because we don't know maybe his receivers weren't getting open, Big Cat. Maybe he was having bad protection.
We saw at least one play where the left guard didn't even try to block. So why don't you wait to break down the film, Dan, because you might be surprised.
Nate Sudfeld might be showing you some things on tape that you didn't see because you were too blinded in the moment by your hatred of Doug Peterson to realize it. So please, let's stay in our lands here.
We'll be assholes. Let's just remember the Giants won six games.
Yes. Six games.
Okay. Now, to be fair, Nate Suddwell, he did look like the Madden creative player before you boost anything.
He's just 50s across the board. And yes, you're right.
There's probably no way that he should have been in a game. But you know what? was so bad i'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth i'm going to take that gift horse slaughter it turn it into glue and then make a wonderful looking trapper keeper out of it and my washington football team is the nfc's champion i and that banner will fly forever i feel awful for giants fans i truly do That was a horrific death to watch your season end.

That way it went. But again,

every time I start having a true,

strong opinion about this, it's

like a flow chart, and it just always

ends up with the Giants won six

games. They won six games.

If they won more, and I'm talking

my team only won eight games. I'm not

saying they're good. They backdoored in.

But guess what?

If the Giants won eight games, they'd be in the playoffs.

If the Giants won seven games, they'd be in the playoffs.

So, like, again, I think the Giants have, they're building something,

and I like them.

I've been the biggest cheerleader.

But they won six games.

They won six games.

Jesus Christ.

Tanner Olowski, you're going to regret that in the morning.

All right, let's get to the rest of the games. So we have Washington football team versus the Bucs on Saturday night.
Yep. We'll see what that line ends up being.
I'm going to guess. Let's play a game called Guess the Spread.
Guess the Spread. Guess the Spread Advance.
I like this game. I'm going to say 7.5.
7.5. Yeah.
Okay. It is 7.5.
Is it? You cheated. No, I didn't.
No, people have been saying you cheat. I said that earlier.
Yeah. Jake heard me say Jake would never love over 46 and a half.
All right. Let's get some games week 17.
Like I said, there's some games that we're going to probably just speed through because they didn't have much significance. Starting with the Ravens bangles, the Baltimore Ravens.
We said it last week. They are the team officially no one wants to play.
They got their swagger back, five straight wins, 525 yards, 404 yards rushing, and they had the ball for 40 minutes. And, yeah, they are officially the team no one wants to play.
It's tough to win when you don't have the ball at all. Ever.
In the entire game, unless you're the Eagles. You were probably better off with Nate Sudfeld not having the ball.
Well, Brandon Allen was 6 for 21 for 48 yards. Okay, Brandon Allen.
I may have been wrong by the way. He played a whole game.
With my Brandon Allen Ryan Finley take. Because That's bad.
I mean, Ryan Finley he beat the Steelers. Listen, the Bengals have already won their Super Bowl.
They beat the Steelers.

So, yeah, the Bengals are going into the offseason.

You have Joe Burrow.

You have the number four pick, I want to say.

Yeah, four pick.

Four or five.

Is that right?

Something like that.

They might even be.

No, yeah, they have the four or five pick.

Because they ended up four and 11.

Yeah, and I know it goes Jaguars, Jets, Dolphins, which we'll get tos jets dolphins atlanta cincy since he's five okay so you have the five pick you're gonna probably get like dude you get like go get kyle pitts or so you know i mean like have someone that joe burrow can throw to uh and you have you're not gonna fire zach taylor the team basically had every offensive lineman get injured they were still kind of chippy in a bunch of games. I don't know.
If I were a Bengals fan, as bad as this season was, I'd just pop in the tape of that Steelers Monday Night Football game and be like, guess what? We're going to be a little bit on the upswing. Yeah.
Hey, Bengals fans, you'll be fine. This will work out as good as you could hope for a Bengals team to work out for you.
You'll be 500 within a couple years. And the Ravens, on the other hand, are – I agree.
I think that they're a team that – Well, do you know what it is? Yeah. I think they're finally – I think they've stopped being cute.
And what I mean by that is they just know they can just hammer people with a run. Right.
Like they are hammering people with the run. I think what they've realized is going back the last couple seasons, they heard people saying like, we need to show that Lamar is a great passer.
Like Lamar is a great football player. He won the fucking MVP.
But they would try to incorporate. They would sometimes play away from the run occasionally.
Right. It's like, why don't you just run the ball down everybody's throat? And Lamar can pass the ball when he needs to and I think he's getting better at uh at his accuracy but like they've realized that they don't have to prove to everybody else that they can be a passing football team they can just kill you with the run and dominate and there's nothing you can do about that here's here's Lamar's last five games so the so the Ravens finish on a five-game winning streak pretty besides the crazy Monday night football game when Lamar had the shits every game was essentially a blowout uh he had 17 pass attempts 17 pass attempts 22 26 18 so there it is like that's and then if you look at the beginning of the season it was in the high 20s low 30s I they hammer people with the run.
And I think that makes them the team no one wants to play. I don't know how the Titans are going to stop them whatsoever because the Titans defense is like...
Titans basically play every single game like last team to score wins. Last man with the ball.
It's a completely different team than beat the Ravens in the playoffs

That same formula is not going to happen

I'm looking back at their schedule

Remember they lost to the Patriots?

That was crazy

In the storm

And then they lost an overtime game to the Titans

Who they now have a rematch against

You want to guess this line?

Ravens, Titans

I'm going to say

You should get every single one perfect

It's called guess the spread Guess the spread my bad. Yeah.
Guess the spread? Guess the spread. I'm going to say...
What's the spread? Three and a half. What's the spread? Three and a half.
Three and a half is correct. Are you serious? You're good, yeah.
I'm not cheating on this. You can look at my screen.
So the Titans, three... Ravens by three and a half.
Yeah. Situation over there.
Yeah.

You look at my computer.

Overrunners 54.

I'm looking.

Three and a half.

The screen that I'm on right now is YouPorn MILFs.

It's a notes app getting ready to clap back at Dan Orlovsky.

I'm photoshopping Dan Orlovsky.

You got to clap back at like four in the morning.

All right.

So Raven Spangles, that one's in the books.

Wait, didn't Dan Orlovsky tweet out a while ago like,

I just hate it when people cause drama or something like real. Oh, yeah.
It was like a realize, realize, realize. Yeah.
Okay. So I'm going to have to find out what he said, and then I'm going to note zap him, and then I'm going to end it with whatever.
I don't want to make this the Dan Orlovsky show because I actually do think he's a nice guy, but he, the one thing I'll say is I do think it's lame to always do the, you ran out of the end zone because he still was an NFL quarterback. It was a funny play, but to always be like, what do you know about football? You ran out of an end zone.
Well, I think he probably still knows a lot about football. There's a reason we haven't brought it up.
Right. Because that's the easy way out.
I always see that. I'm like, that's just kind of whatever.
Why are you doing that? He's tried to take that sting out by making that joke before anybody else can. So I'm not going to let you make it before me, Dan, because you'll just be sitting around waiting until Kingdom Come.
I won't say it. Not going to do it.
You did run back out of that end zone. It was pretty disgusting.
It did. It did happen.
All right. Steelers, Browns, the Cleveland Browns are in the playoffs for the first time since 2002.
What a what a ending a full like cleveland browns ending where they couldn't make it easy to mason rudolph almost gets that two-point conversion and then they almost fumble the onside kick and then it was so sweet that baker mayfield ran for the first down yep Yep. Cleveland Browns, like, I'm so happy for Cleveland.

I'm so happy for Cleveland Browns fans.

Can we at least, though, can we do the list of quarterbacks?

We might as well.

We can say it, yeah.

Since the last time the Cleveland Browns, I'm pulling it up right now,

since the last time the Cleveland Browns went to –

I want to also do the coaches because the coaches are just as funny.

I think – remember Rob Chudzinski?

Yeah, one of them.

He was –

Like a shooting star.

Yeah, he was... went to, I want to also do the coaches because the coaches are just as funny.
I think, remember Rob Chudzinski?

Yeah, one of them.

Like a shooting star.

Yeah, he was something else.

All right, you do the quarterbacks.

I'll pull up the coaches.

Okay, so the quarterbacks,

since the Cleveland Browns last went to the playoffs,

this was in 2002 with Tim Couch.

They had Kelly Holcomb, Tim Couch,

Jeff Garcia, Luke McCown, Kelly Holcomb, Trent Dilfer, Charlie Fry. Love Charlie Fry.
Shout out Charlie Fry, Maction, Akron, Derek Anderson, Brady Quinn, Ken Dorsey, Bruce Gorkowski, more Maction. Bruce Gorkowski is one of those guys I always like, I think there's something there.
The Browns are always a team that will bring in a quarterback that's from the state of Ohio. Right.
Regardless of what their professional prospects are. They're like, he's a hometown guy.
Yeah, that's Charlie Fry. Charlie Fry was definitely like, oh yeah, he's going to do this.
Brady Quinn, Derek Anderson again, Colt McCoy, Jake DeLome. I forgot they had Jake DeLome.
Seneca Wallace, who... Great quarterback.
Great quarterback. There are certain guys where you're just like, that guy can ball.
You can win a Super Bowl with him. Seneca Wallace was on that list for me.
He's a Madden All-Star, too. You would love him on Madden.
Yes. Brandon Whedon, who played for them when he was 28 years old as a rookie.
Thad Lewis. Oh, I forgot about Thad Lewis.
Duke legend. Jason Campbell.
Brian Hoyer. Johnny Manziel.
Connor Shaw. Josh McCown, Austin Davis, Cody Kessler, Robert Griffin III, Deshaun Kizer, Kevin Hogan.
I forgot Deshaun Kizer started 15 games for them. Yeah, they give him good luck.
And RG3, that year that he played, that was the summer of RG3 when during training camp they would put out new reports every day about the different window that he would shatter by accidentally throwing the ball over the fence during practice.

Yep, and then Tyrod Taylor and Baker Mayfield.

And Baker Mayfield has done it.

Baker Mayfield deserves, like last year was a train wreck to bounce back this year.

They're a good football team.

They're in the playoffs.

I think I mentioned this maybe at the beginning of the season, but I do think Jarvis Landry deserves so much credit because of that. That speech he gave when they did Hard Knocks, which was a hilarious shit show of Hard Knocks with Hugh Jackson and Greg Williams and who was the offensive coordinator? Brogan Roback.
Brogan Roback. Who was the offensive coordinator? Wiley.
Oh, no, no, no. No.
As the offensive line coach. Todd Haley was the offensive coordinator.
Todd Haley. Yeah, they were all fighting each other.
Yeah. And Jarvis Landry was like, we're going to change the culture.
And he has. Like, he is the guy.
He has changed the culture of that team. So, shout out to the Browns and all Browns fans.
That's fucking awesome. It's big.
Yeah. To the coaches.
Congratulations. And we are a Lake Erie podcast.
Yeah. Cleveland and Buffalo.
Let's go Erie. The Cleveland Browns head coaches since 2002 are Butch Davis, Terry Rubisky, coach six games, Romeo Cornell, Eric Mangini, the man genius, Pat Shermer, Rob Trudzinski.
Yep. That guy That guy, how do you hire him? You see his name.
His name is literally Chud. He's a Chud.
I actually don't mind that. I'm pretty sure the last name is Polish for Cleveland Browns football coach.
Rob Chudzinski, Mike Pettin, who was a leveled-up version of Rob Chudzinski, Hugh Jackson. He was around for a while.
43 games. Must have won a bunch.
Yeah, very successful. Greg Williams, Freddie Kitchens, Kevin Stefanski.
And Kevin Stefanski, by far, the best winning percentage out of all those guys. I'm talking like...
Maybe coach of the year. He's 688 in his winning percentage this year.
I think you should just give him coach of the year

just because of what they did.

It's the Browns.

My official vote for coach of the year goes to Kyle Shanahan,

but if I had a second vote, it would go to Kevin's defense.

Greg Williams actually has the second highest winning percentage

of all those coaches, 625.

There you go, Greg.

Good for you, Dr. V.

I didn't know Josh Dobbs was still on the Steelers.

Well, he's back on the Steelers. He went to the Jaguars for a sabbatical, and now he's back on the Steelers.
He's the new Chaz Batch that's going to be taking spot snaps for the next 15 years on the Steelers. And Mason Rudolph wasn't that bad.
And, I mean, that couldn't have worked out better for the Steelers in that you didn't really need to win the game. I guess you would have preferred to have the two seed, but now you get to play the Browns again, and you almost won with your backups.
Yeah, so this was actually a good game for the Steelers because they don't have to feel bad about a loss for the first time in a while. All their other losses have been soul-sucking, where they're like, I don't think that we actually play football.
I don't think that's the sport that we went out there and played. After this one, you looked like a good football team, and you can always say we were missing a ton of guys.
We didn't have Big Ben under center. So you switch a few pieces around, and you get a different result.
I'm excited. You can tell yourself that live for the next week.
Sunday night football next week. I'm excited for that game.
It's going to be awesome. I'm very excited.
I want Solidary. Solidary.
For Lake Erie. Solidary Erie.
What's the spread? All right. Browns at Steelers.
Yeah. I'm going to guess it's Steelers 5.
Oh, you were so close. Steelers minus 4.
4. All right.
Well, which book are you looking at? Well, it's our book, Barstool Sportsbook. Okay.
Well, that's the correct one. yeah exactly it the best of the vegas zone you don't know what's going on there that's weird over under is 47 and a half um i got i'm excited for this game i did like the the picture that mason rudolph put up on social media of like miles garrett shaking his hand after the game yeah what if they end up becoming best friends well it would be a great Like ABC, you know, buddy comedy.
That's the next win-win for the Gipper.

Right, right. What if they end up becoming best friends? It would be a great ABC buddy comedy.
That's the next win-win for the Gipper. Right.
But it's actually Miles Garrett and Mason Rudolph don't actually. They're not in it.
It's Michael B. Jordan and Andy Samberg.
Instead of the Gipper dying of a disease, Miles Garrett actually kills Mason Rudolph. Yeah, it's coming to ABC next year.
So this game, yeah, this is going to be an awesome game. So excited for Browns fans.
You deserve it. I'm happy for Bills fans.
I'm happy for Browns fans. Their teams are good.
They should be proud of their teams. They're in the playoffs.
It's fucking awesome. This is why sports are great.
It's pain, pain, pain for these moments where it's like, fuck it. Let's just enjoy the ride.
No one's going to pick the Browns to win the Super Bowl, but who the fuck cares? Who cares? You're in the playoffs. Your team is young.
You're building something. You hopefully will get some guys back from the cocoa list because they are, we should say that like the Steelers kept it close but they the Browns were playing a practice squad like punt returner slash cornerback yeah and I feel like they had some coaches that were out too right yeah like last week they were missing everybody essentially on offense when it was like two linemen uh all their wide receivers a cornerback linebacker this week I feel like it's more like the coaches got it.
Yeah, but I just... Just tell me, please, Adam Schefter, tell me that they'll be fine and ready to go.
Well, they are. And then Greedy Williams.
They're playing Sunday, so if they were playing on Saturday, they would have been fucked. Yeah, that's true.
And same with the Saints. So the NFL actually did something right and didn't just fuck over, which would have been so classic NFL.
Coronavirus doesn't hit on Sundays. We've learned that this year.
That's true. That's fact.
That's actually been a fact if you look at the stats. But, yeah, congratulations to the Browns.
It's just awesome, man. Everyone in Cleveland.
Sports are great. Take the week off.
This is me writing you a note. Yeah.
Your favorite podcasters are telling you you don't have to work this week. Don't start your diet.
Just get drunk and enjoy. Yeah.
Eat a lot of carbs. Eat like every meal baked inside of a potato.
Put some cheese on it. Chug some beers.
No, no, no. We're getting hard.
No, no, but this is Cleveland. We're getting hard.
We're going to get so hard. You don't understand how hard our bodies are going to get.
That's insane. Everyone should get hard.
I don't know if I can get hard. Let's all get hard.
I'm up 20 pounds. No, we're going to get hard.
get hard we're gonna get hard i'm up 15 pounds in the last two weeks yeah i'm down 15 i'm well i lost 20 and then i put 20 back on maybe even a couple no more carbs for me i don't know if i'm gonna say i'm hard this year i'm gonna say this is the year oh i'm getting hard this is the year i'm getting so hard uh also my new year's resolution is to cross up more people with an invisible basketball maybe at a euro step i don't know uh all right next up bill's dolphins you're gonna tell your achilles yeah oh yeah do you see what happened to tom segura that was not like do you see that hank it's he was he and burt kreischer were playing uh hoops i think it was maybe on new year's eve and like no one guarding him he just went up and and he tore his patellar and also something in his wrist, like his whole right side. He tore something in his leg and his arm so he can't use crutches.
It sounds like he had a stroke in midair. I don't mean to laugh, but it was so brutal.
This is why if you're going to play basketball past your 30s, don't jump. I never jump when I play basketball.
Just stay on the ground. Box out and stay on the ground.
Low man wins. That's a tip for everyone out there.
Don't jump. All right.
The Bills-Dolphins game. Okay.
We are Lake Erie podcast. The Dolphins needed to win this game to get in.
Now, what should we do? Jake, you picked. You want to go glass? Well, no.
Actually, I'll go glass half full the whole time. Yeah, third pick.
So, the Dolphins were embarrassed by the Bills and even more embarrassed by the Bills' backups because the Bills killed them in the first place. Josh Allen played more than I thought he was going to.
He did play a lot, but then Matt Barkley came in, and he was able to kill them too.

Matt Barkley looked like a stud out there.

Yeah, he did.

So the Dolphins' defense, which was not – I don't want to say fraudulent because it was good,

but it also was a little turnover luck.

Like they were the only team to get a turnover every single week.

They kind of fell apart in the moment that you needed them the most.

We've talked about it before,

but the candy-ass uniform going up north, that's tough.

So the third pick.

Thank you. they kind of fell apart in the moment that you needed him the most.
We've talked about it before, but the candy-ass uniform going up north, that's tough. So the third pick, I think they should draft the quarterback.
Tua, I think, might be a bust. He has bust tendencies.
Right now, you have to analyze a rookie quarterback. You can't unilaterally say, this guy's a bust just yet.
It's like trying to figure out via pre-crime what kids are going to grow up to be sociopaths.

There are certain things that you have to look at in your rookie quarterback to know whether or not he's going to be a bust.

This game was like, there were some throws where he just missed them high by about 15 feet.

And the offense did not, they did put handcuffs on him. I will grant all Dolphins fans that I'll grant all Tua fans that Chan Gailey clearly didn't like do a great job playing to his strength however every time Ryan Fitzpatrick came in and if Ryan Fitzpatrick didn't have coronavirus I think the Dolphins probably would have won that game because he would have put him in like in the first quarter and he probably would have kept them in that game and everything would have kind of tilted differently so but the reason I actually I'm not going to say that two is a bust and I do I do think that like someone can make the most out of him and he can still be a quarterback in the NFL because I just I wouldn't write someone off that quickly my whole you should draft a quarterback is when are you going to be back in the top three of the draft of a draft that is seemingly loaded with quarterback talent and the Jets might not take Justin Fields at two and we've seen it we saw it with the Cardinals I think the Jets will though because they might there was a report today that they were going to try to trade Sam yeah they Yeah, they might.
Whatever. But even if you don't, there's Zach Wilson and Trey Lance.
There are other guys that are projected to be very good quarterbacks. So you're not going to be back in the top three.
At least you hope not because you're building something and this team was way better than everyone expected, is a year early, which I love saying that. Whenever your team misses the playoffs by a little bit, like a Scotia, you're just like, yeah, we're a year early.
We're a year early. We're a year early.
Premature. You're not going to be back in the top three for a long time.
Take the quarterback and Tua still has a ton of value. Like if you want to trade Tua, I bet you can get a second round pick for him.
At least. Yeah.
Josh Rosen, this is what the Cardinals did, and the Cardinals do not regret it because they went and they drafted Josh Rosen, realized that he was not exactly what they wanted. Kyler Murray's there.
They took Kyler Murray, and no one in the Cardinals is like, damn, we probably should have just given Josh Rosen another year. Again, this isn't saying Tua's bad.
It's saying, given the circumstances that you have two first round picks, because guess what? If Tua is bad, the fact that you have built up the rest of the roster means diddly poo because your quarterback is bad. Also, you went, I think, 5-11 in 2019, right? 5-11, I think, was the record.
And the roster was so much worse than 5-11. You ended up getting— You guys made fun of them every week making dolphin noises.
No, I know. We would not do something like that.
Brian Flores is a great coach. He's bringing awareness.
Yes, that's right. He would bring awareness.
You're talking about it right now, Jake. Brian Flores is a great coach.
They overachieved this year. They have a bright future.
They have a ton of assets. My whole thing is, though, if the quarterback, if you're not 100% on the quarterback, everything else doesn't matter.
Right? Nothing else matters on your roster if you're not 100% on Tua. And if you, like, even this question means they probably aren't 100%.
The fact that they benched them in key spots means they're probably not 100%. So why wouldn't you be like, hey, let's trade them, and then we'll take a quarterback at three, and we'll just fucking keep going from there.
Or you keep them around, and you have them compete against the guy that you draft. That is a little tough because then it's like both.
I could see Brian Flores doing that, though, because that's essentially what he did this year with Ryan Fitzpatrick, was just keep him around and have an open competition. But going back to, was it Mark Schlaer that talked to us about this? Yeah.
When he was like, well, if that guy isn't able to respond to the competition, then he's not going to be the guy anyway. And so it's better you find that out earlier than you find it out later.
Tua, there was one pass today where his receiver dropped the ball, and i'm pretty sure it's because he wasn't expecting the ball to be thrown accurately to him right and like freaked him out that it was at his hands he was like ready to jump for it and it was right on target i don't think like his team obviously doesn't have confidence in him he seems like a good guy that's going to work hard and going to try to get right so why not give it it one more season, keep him around? Worst case scenario, if I was a really shitty franchise, I can't relate because I root for the Washington football team. But if I was a bad franchise in the NFL, I would draft a quarterback in the first round almost every year until we found the guy.
I would just take the best quarterback available and just ride with that. Especially when you have the number three pick.
Having them compete, I think, gets tricky because it's just like one of those guys, you're going to lose value on one of those guys. And if you draft a guy at three and then you're like, oh, now you're behind Tua, okay, well, what the hell does that send? I think you trade Tua before the draft and then you draft.
And you take a quarterback in a quarterback- draft, and you're like, boom, trade Tua to the fucking Jets and go up to two and get Justin Fields. Why not? Why not? I actually wouldn't hate that at all.
Yeah. It is tough for the Dolphins, though, because once you get the playoffs in your sights, and you're like, we are 10-6, we could be 11-5, it's tough to lose this game, especially when Ryan Fitzpatrick, like this is going to be a Ryan Fitzpatrick revenge game, which he's very good at because they're like 80% of his games in the NFL is against teams that he's played for.
And he probably, they definitely would have been more competitive. They probably would have won this game, I think, if Fitzpatrick was playing.
Well, maybe not one, but it would have definitely changed the nature of how it, like, it was over pretty pump. And that really should, like, that's more of a credit to the Bills being.
The Bills are just, there were two teams that played their starters going into this like they didn't really need to. The Bills and the Saints both just fucking annihilated the teams that they played.
And they have to feel feel really, really good going into the playoffs doing that.

Because there is something to be said for playing your guys and kicking the shit out of the opponent and being like,

yeah, we're ready to go.

Because the Bills don't miss a beat.

Are the Bills a wagon?

But they also circle the wagon.

So I don't know what the correct nomenclature.

They're like a convoy of wagons?

Circling themselves?

They're multiple wagons?

What's the collective plural for wagons? I don't know. I'm sure Dolphins fans, I feel like most Dolphins fans want to just stick with Tua.
I'm just saying that it's not even about Tua. That's the thing.
It's not an indictment on Tua. That's true you're saying with the Cardinals situation.
And it's more the fact that you have the third pick and you're not going to have the third. being that high in the draft is not something that you expect the dolphins to do right they think six right right even when they try to tank they'll they'll fuck up and not get the third overall brian floors a good coach and you're also you don't you don't go from what they did last year to this year to almost making the playoffs and take a step back to being back at the top of the draft like this is forward they're going to be a team that's going to be good going forward so take the opportunity now isn't this school guy one of like the highest rated offensive linemen in a while yes yeah he is he's a massive yes strong and they're probably his confidence that's probably what they'll do yeah because that is probably the safer thing to do i'm just i just think that like nothing, nothing matters if you don't think Tua is the guy.
Nothing matters. Nothing matters.
All right, and the Bills are a wagon, and the Bills are going to fucking... They're a group of wagons.
Bills, Chiefs, give it to me. AFC Championship.
Spread. Oh, yeah.
Guess it. Guess the line.
No, guess what the spread is. It's guess what the spread is.
Predict the spread. It's guess what the spread is.
I'm going to say Bills by 7.5. Wrongs.
Bills 6.5. Over-unders 52.
I like the Bills. The Bills are going to go to the AFC Championship game.
They just are. I'm knocking at work.
I'm knocking too. The Bills are going to play in the AFC Championship game.
Hopefully in the snow against Andy Reid with little crystals. Hopefully in the snow against the Browns.
Oh yeah. Yeah, that's true.
Dude, they'd have to let fans in. Both fans.
It'd have to be like the Rose Bowl. Split it.
Can you imagine? That would be honestly my dream scenario. If you could get those teams together, the magical waters of Lake Erie.
On the north side, it makes Mad Dog. On the south side, that same water catches on fire.
It's truly, that is the fountain of youth. That's the watering hole of Western civilization is Lake Erie.
All right, Dolphins fans, free invite. I'm probably going to, we're recording this very late tonight.
So we're not going to be done not gonna be asleep till like 3 30 uh let's pick it up at like 10 a.m i'm ready to debate on twitter 10 a.m we'll have this debate well let's be civil no notes apps let's not be animals about it but we'll have this debate uh all right vikings lions vikings lions really all the the biggest takeaway is matt stafford just plays games when he barely can walk uh he's the toughest guy in the nfl and kirk cousins the roughing the passer play was insane if it's so lions that even in games that they don't want to win and no one really is watching they still get screwed by the rest the league tried to sneak in a garbage offici game on the Lions on us. They didn't think that we were going to be paying attention in week 17.
It's crazy. So not only did they have that play, but then they also had the touchdown that they took away from the Lions later, which was like how – no one's explained to me how that's not a touchdown.
No, because this is the – I just didn't go back to it. It's the Calvin Johnson rule.
Yeah. Again, it's a new Calvin Johnson 2.0 rule.
That first one was correct. The first, which one? The first Calvin Johnson.
No, it wasn't. But, no, it wasn't.
But the league, I feel like they use the Lions as trial balloons on all their weird officiating rules that don't get brought up against any other franchise. They'll try it out on the Lions, see what the outcry is, and then if people speak out enough against it,

they'll take that and they'll put it on the rest of the league.

Well, my theory is that, and this should be accepted in the scouting community,

when you're evaluating a quarterback and you're evaluating the strengths and weaknesses of a

quarterback, you should put in the strength column, does he look like a little baby weakling

when he gets sacked, a la Kirk Cousins cousins do the refs have pity on him or a weakness would be is he like cam newton and he's a fucking tank and when he gets sacked but like and gets roughed no one's gonna call it because everyone's like that guy's a tank it was a terrible but Kirk Cousins looked like he was being assaulted.

I agree with you.

Because of his just body language was like he turtled and was like,

ow, help, please someone help me.

It was a routine sack, but I think that's actually a benefit

if you're trying to scout a quarterback.

Can your quarterback look like they're getting beat up by a bully

when they get sacked?

And if so, bump them up a little in the draft. Yeah, there's a reason why in that picture in Tiananmen Square, if it was two tanks running into each other, there would have been no international outcry.
Right. But on the other hand, it's like, yeah, it was basically Kirk Cousins standing in front of that tank.
Yes. And Kirk Cousins, to his credit, he did the gritty when he scored a touchdown.
Swag. Instantly makes it a classic.
Swag. It's like when Pat Boone covers Little Richard or Charlie Daniels being covered by Nickelback.
It just makes it better. So Kirk Cousins just, I think he gave the gritty another two, three years of longevity.
He brought the gritty back. I've seen some people get mad because everyone's ripping off the gritty.
I think it's like California and Louisiana. California and New Orleans, that's where culture comes from.

That's a compliment.

Everyone is doing it because they saw you do it first, LSU,

and it was fucking cool.

Yeah, I'm a little concerned about Mike Zimmer.

Are you concerned?

No.

I'm concerned.

What?

You're not.

I'm concerned because he's a little checked out.

Mike Zimmer doesn't get mad like he used to. Well, he's got a young team.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying, Billy. We talked about that a couple weeks ago.
Since he got the girl, I mean, he's obviously enjoying himself. But he stopped getting pissed off at his team.
Young defense. And that's a problem.
He lost the fire in his good eye that used to be there after every single play, after every single game. Even when they won, he would be mad at his team.
Now he's checked out. He's apathetic.
I don't like that. I miss that about him.
His face would get almost as red as Mike Shanahan's used to, and he would just sit there just screaming at people with his little elven mouth, and it was endearing. And now it's's just like i don't know he's just like accepted

the fact that his team stinks yeah uh positives going away for both these teams one for the vikings justin jefferson sets the rookie record 1400 uh yards on the dot which is kind of cool in itself uh i like that because we're not going to forget it now nope 1400 yards that's pretty fucking cool That's pretty fucking cool. And then Lions.
The Lions are a dumpster fire. We all know that.
Not going to pick on them. But there is something about that month stretch, two weeks leading up, two weeks after, when you get a new coach that can really make you feel good.
Like you feel like, hey, we got the guy. So just enjoy that.
Whatever, whoever it is, it doesn't matter. It just feels good to have a new coach and be like, maybe this is the guy.
Maybe is this guy is going to be a genius and turn around the entire fortune of this franchise. That's a fun thing to do.
You can talk yourself into anything. Maybe the new coach will take some of our advice that Matt Patricia just just rejected when we visit we had a bunch of awesome ideas he was not remember you remember the sheep that we were going to put right in in the foyer of the facility yep because lions don't concern themselves with the opinion of sheep and then every player would just have to look away from the sheep whenever they walk past it yep like that that's a great fucking idea matt patricia didn't happen i give you you gold like that.
And you just, you, you tell me my posture sucks and kick me out of your office. Spit in our face.
All right. Next up Patriots, 28 jets, 14 Adam Gase fired.
I will. Yeah.
I'm kind of sad. I hope he'll get another job.
I hope so. I say that as a joke, but maybe with the lions actually happen.
I mean, you can, all he's got to do is pull up this tape from his days with Peyton Manning and be like, see this? Fucking sweet, huh? All he would have to do is walk into Martha Ford's office and be like, I would just get off the phone with Jay Cutler, and he said that he is very interested in coming back to play for the Detroit Lions. And then he'd get hired, and then Jay would be like, nah, you know what, I'm fine.
I'm just going to chill down here smoking cigarettes with my chickens. And then Adam Gase would have a job for two years.
That's all it takes. You're dangerously close to hiring Adam Gase.
But I am going to miss him. I'm sad that he got fired.
Sad that he got fired. The league's better with Adam Gase.
It's funnier. Yeah.
And the Jets had a little pep at the end. The Patriots, what, 7-9? Like, I don't know.
I just assume that they'll figure out a way to draft, like, an incredible quarterback in, like, the fifth round, and then they'll probably be back. I don't know, right? Yeah, they said Cam's not coming back.
Officially? I mean, that was a no-brainer. I don't know what's going to happen with Cam.
But how do you feel, Hank, like you – no one's turned on Belichick, right? right? No. So then what does it matter? What's the cap situation like? Because I know that Bill was pretty clear this year.
They also had a bunch of players opt out of the season. Be honest.
Come back. Be honest.
Is there a small part of you that is actually a tiny bit looking forward to no pressure in the playoffs? Yes. I had a great day today.
Yeah. It was like very enjoyable.
No stakes. No pressure.
Yeah. No concerns.
I just got to enjoy football. I could totally see that.
Are you rooting for the Bucs? I'm dreading next Sunday. Ooh.
Well. That's a tough question.
Are you rooting for the Bucs? Answer the question, hey. That's a tough question, PFT.
I think you are. It's a simple question.
Are you rooting for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers? Are you or are you not a narc? I, in my heart, yeah. No.
What? Yes. Hank, that's a yes.
Okay, let's do it this way. That's a yes.
I'm going to say two sentences to you. You tell me which one makes you feel good.
Washington football team beats the Tampa Bay Buccaneers 20-10. Yes,

that would make me feel better than if the Bucs won,

but if the Bucs win, I'm obviously going to root for them

for the rest of the playoffs. Okay, thank you.

We're all in. There you go.

On the football team. Unless I

decide to bet on the Bucs. I won't bet on the

Bucs. How about that? Okay, that's fair.

I won't bet on the Bucs at 7.5.

Is that fair? I don't care what

you guys do. If it gets below 7, I will.
I don't care what you guys do.

But I will not bet on the Bucs at 7.5. That's wrap, boys.
Listen to what you guys

I'm keeping this all in the house. I'm being nice.
I'm saying

I'll be, too. I mean, he's going to have to go north into the elements.
I'm hoping to God that it's a rainy day in Raujon, Maryland, or maybe some grapple and some sleet. I'm hoping, well, it's going to be a night game.
Tom Brady. Let's talk about it.
He starts sundowning at 7 p.m. Yep, he can't.
He stinks in prime time. He has Tom Brady.
He's 1-3. Is it 1-3? And he's gotten killed a couple times.
Yes. So let's talk about that game.
Bucs, Falcons, Mike Evans. That was a big story.
Broke Randy Moss' record. Seven straight seasons of 1,000 yards yards and then gets hurt in the next play and I don't like what were the Bucks playing for they were playing for Mike Evans to break that record well and also Antonio Brown loves someone like Tom Brady loves Antonio Brown because he needed 45 receptions to make a quarter million dollars and in the last two minutes uh Tom Brady gave him him three shovel passes i think they're in love they're in love that's the theory they're in love or tom brady as we know is was antonio brown's landlord for a while that this might just be like easy way yeah yeah that's true oh to know that he can get paid yes yeah antonio brown's like hey tom like covid yeah pay you know things are going on that's a good theory you're right hank you're Absolutely right.
That was just Tom Brady being like, hey, Tom, COVID, can't pay. Things are going on.
That's a good theory. You're right, Hank.
You're absolutely right. That was just Tom Brady being like, rent's due.
Here's three shovel passes. But you know that Antonio Brown's still going to be like, no, the check hasn't come in yet.
Right. And still not pay Tom Brady.
Yes. Tom will be like, let's just French for a while, and we'll call it even.
The Bucs. Nothing wrong with that.
I don't know what the Bucs. I'm starting to believe in the Bucs a little bit.
Because they have. Their offense does look a lot better.
And I know the Falcons don't have any pass rush. But then again, I think of some of the games they played against really good teams.
And they looked terrible. They looked terrible against the Saints.
They looked terrible against the Rams. Not terrible, but bad.
They looked terrible against the saints they look terrible against the rams not terrible bad they looked uh terrible against the bears which by the way people were giving me shit for that people were giving me shit for saying for sneaking the bears into the conversation about how the bucks uh lost to all playoff teams and i snuck in the bears guess what the bears are in the playoffs you know who else is a playoff team that they have to play next week? The Bucs have to play only playoff teams from here on out. That's a tough break for the Buccaneers.
Because they do not do well. Let's see.
They beat the Falcons, not in the playoffs. Lions, not in the playoffs.
No, all five of their losses. One, two, three, four.
Saints twice, Bears, Rams, and Chiefs. The only playoff team they beat was the Green Bay Packers.

That's it.

And you know what?

If the Giants had beaten the Buccaneers, the Giants would be in the playoffs.

And so would the Bucs.

And that would also establish the Giants as being a playoff team because they beat the Buccaneers.

Right.

So that's actually...

No, the Giants didn't beat the Bucs.

I know.

I'm saying if the Giants had beaten the Bucs, then that would also fit the mold.

Correct.

See you next week. So that's actually, no, the Giants didn't beat the Bucs.
I know. I'm saying if the Giants had beaten the Bucs,

then that would also fit the mold.

Correct.

So yeah, the only playoff team they beat was the Packers.

Yeah, so there we go. You see that?

In 10 seconds, I just sold myself in the Bucs and out of the Bucs.

Just like that.

I'm out on the Bucs.

So the Bucs are very good offensively.

They just are.

They've got, I mean, obviously Mike Evans is going to be a big hole for them

if he's not going to be able to play.

I'm going on the Bucs. So the Bucs are very good offensively.
They just are. They've got, I mean, obviously Mike Evans is going to be a big hole for them if he's not going to be able to play.
But with Godwin and the running game looks not bad. Like Leonard Fournette occasionally looks like he's alive.
That's the nicest compliment that I can pay to that offense. He's alive-ish.
The defense, not bad. Actually, Tom Brady looked like on one play he might have banged his thumb.

He looked like he might be hurt.

I just want to put that out in the universe.

There was a moment where you were just – He hit his hand.

You had already beaten the Bucs.

You were already in the next round.

No, I'm just saying Tom Brady's health is being called into question.

By you?

By many.

Mostly you?

I've seen a lot of reports. Really? Yeah.
From who? Just all over the internet. All over the internet.
People are buzzing about it. He might have a hurt thumb.
He's got a history of hurt thumbs. That's true.
Mike Evans is going to be out. Ish, maybe.
I am going to miss the Falcons. Yeah, so I don't know what the Falcons are going to do.
I'm going to miss having him around. Are they going to trade Matt Ryan? Because Matt Ryan on the 49ers makes a hell of a lot of sense.
Yeah, I don't know why you'd do that inside your own conference, though. I don't think the Falcons.
I think the Falcons could get back to the Super Bowl. If they trade Matt Ryan, they're not like, hey, we'll probably have to meet the 49ers and Matt Ryan soon.
I don't know. It just always feels weird to trade a starting quarterback like that.
I know that would obviously make a hell of a lot of sense because of Kyle Shanahan. It feels like the 49ers were snakebitten all year, and that could be an instant bounce back.
I still kind of believe in Jimmy G. Say what you want about the Falcons, but they've given us so much entertainment.
And they're not a terrible team at all. They're like a shitty, Colin Cowher time, they're like a shitty great action movie, like a Steven Seagal movie.
Yeah. I love watching them, and they're always exciting, and I always feel better after I watch them, but I don't want to put up a Steven Seagal poster in my bathroom.

They're a great, they're a fun, fast sports car that breaks down all the time.

Okay.

You love to own it.

You look cool in it.

But then you're going to end up on the side.

Better get AAA gold if you're going to have the Falcons as your sports car.

Because that's really what it like.

They are fun bad.

They are very fun.

We always say it.

If you're going to be bad, at least have some fun.

They have fun when they're bad.

No, you're going to be bad, at least have some fun. They have fun when they're bad.
The Falcons are fun to watch. Are under siege too.
That's a great movie. Giants, Cowboys, the Gooch recovery.
The NFC East ending the way it did today was so perfect. Not only the Washington football team and the Eagles game, but which, by the way, I just looked and Twitter is still ablaze because Doug Peterson said he was coaching to win.
Yep. Listen, far be it from me to argue with Doug Peterson.
The man won a Super Bowl. Doug Peterson beat the Patriots.
He beat Bill Belichick, the best coach of all time, in the Super Bowl. So I'm not going to sit here and play armchair coach, second string.
I'm not going to guess what he's doing. I don't have the credentials to do that.
So I trust him when he says that Nate Sudfeld gave the Eagles the best chance to win that game. Yeah, I'm looking too.
Jalen Hurts, I guess, was pissed on the sideline. He was very mad.
He was saying like what the time. I think the Eagles players are going to be pissed about this.
I don't... Yeah.
I did like how Wayne Gallman almost boofed the ball. The ball almost went entirely into his butthole.
So it was Andy Dalton throws a terrible pick and then Wayne Gallman fumbles into his asshole and that was how this game ended. He stripped himself as he was running.
He sat on the ball as if it were an egg. I don't know.
Does internal possession count? If you squoze the ball hard enough in your butthole, in your rectum, where you could stand up and then walk with the ball off to the sidelines, do you have possession? Because that seems like you have it pretty securely possessed at that point. I'll tell you what, PFT.
I follow some Instagram models that would be great running backs if that was the case. Great running backs.
Check out Big Dumpers on Instagram, right? Big underscore dumpers. Could you eat a football? Yeah, probably.
You could put it under your shirt. Like what if you had, no, like actually physically eat.
Yeah. Like what if you hand the ball to a running back and he bit into it.

Kobayashi became the best slot receiver in the league.

Yeah, you bite in the football, deflate it, and eat it real quick.

Does that count as possession?

Yeah, I think so.

Actually, I mean that would – But then you get tackled.

Then you get tackled.

Yeah, right.

You get tackled.

You've got a football inside your stomach.

Right.

I don't understand how Mike McCarthy doesn't smash a watermelon before this game. How do you not do it? How do you not do it? You're the watermelon guy.
Do the funny trick. I think it's because it's out of season and he couldn't fly with one.
Unbelievable. And we told everybody in the Tri-State area, do not sell Mike McCarthy a watermelon.
It's true. So Giants, I'm backing on believing on Daniel Jones.
He looked good today. Looks spry.
And if you're Mike McCarthy, you had a bad weekend because not only did you not make the playoffs, which wasn't, you know, you lost, so you didn't deserve to make the playoffs, but then obviously the night game happened. But Kellen Moore turned down the Boise State job, and now Kellen Moore got a three-year extension as the OC, and Kellen Moore is essentially the head coach in waiting for the Dallas Cowboys.
Yeah, he's just breathing on Mike McCarthy's considerable-sized neck right now. Brutal.
Just feeling hot all game long. If the Cowboys stumble even a little bit out of the gate, unless Mike McCarthy buys a watermelon farm, Kellen Moore is going to be the head coach.
Yeah, what was Jerry Jones saying going into this game? He was saying, like, there's certain holes. He's seen some exotic holes in life, and he knows when to hit them.
He's like, this is a hole I've got to get inside of right now. And you know what? Like, it kind of was.
This NFC East was so far wide open that, you know, like, it was very close. Like, you could have won this football game, and then if Doug Peterson isn't a clown, then you make the playoffs.
I'm sure Jerry Jones would be very happy about that. But there's no chance that Kellen Moore turns down the Boise State gig if he doesn't have a little powwow with Jerry on board the bus, a few fingers of Johnny Walker Blue.
He's like, okay, let's just stop. Let's cut the shit and start being real with each other, Kellen.
You're my guy after like three losses next season. Right, right, right.
Yeah, I mean, that's a terrible weekend to have. It's a terrible weekend.
You look like there's something wrong. Remember the Dez funny business with the COVID test and everything? Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
If Dallas had won, imagine the kind of hijinks Jerry Jones would have done to make sure that the Eagles lost that game or won that game. Oh, yeah.
I mean, there would be a lot of conspiracies out there. But because it's the football team and we've been strictly – we're incapable of blackmail.
Every time we try to blackmail somebody, it ends up in the Washington Post the next day. So, like, we can't get away with shit.erry jones if that had happened with him yeah we would all be like shadow commissioner jerry jones put the fix in right absolutely um all right uh you want to do so i do agree with you about the giants by the way i think the giants will be a good football team next year yeah i know they overachieved this year joe judge is a good coach i will i will admit that i actually kind kind of like rooting for Joe Judge.
Any coach that has the balls to punch their offensive line coach is okay in my book. Yes, yes.
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Back to part of my take. Okay.
The Bears are in the playoffs. And you're not going to apologize for that, Big Cat.
No. And you know what? You backed in, but you know what? I'd rather back in than back out.
correct and uh so going into today uh talking to everyone i know about the game privately uh i expressed my concerns aaron rogers loves nothing more than shitting down my throat it's just a fact it's a fact that i admit i hate him but i also will at least say he's the mvp and guess what he's fucking good and he lives to kick the shit out of the bears in the city of chicago and me that's just fact so i thought this is going to be a long day he loves it he's wearing his stupid fucking turtleneck he just loves being out there and doing the cheating at the line of scrimmage and like, oh, I'm going to shit down the bear's throat, whatever. That first drive, I was like, oh, man, game script.
Eight minutes, touchdown, Mitch looks good. I don't know why I bought back into it.
I don't know why I thought they could win that game. They couldn't.
They're not, like, a great team. They're eight and eight.
They backed into the playoffs, but I'm not going to apologize. And that fourth and one call by Matt Nagy was the dumbest play call I've ever seen.
Again, like, I don't know how you're bringing this guy back who like in his post game made it seem like maybe it was the players that screwed up. Dude, you're the fucking head coach.
I don't care how it happens. It's on you.
It's your fault. The defense is a mess right now.
Roquan Smith might be out for the game. The Saints are a better football team in every phase.
But again, I'm going to enjoy the ride. I'm going to enjoy watching my team play in the playoffs for maybe, hopefully four hours, maybe only an hour.
Who knows? It's going to be on Nickelodeon. Could you imagine not being the Nickelodeon game? Everyone was waiting with bated breath, hoping that they would be the inaugural Nickelodeon playoff game.
Guess what? Only one team gets it. It's the Chicago Bears, also the first ever seventh seed in the NFC.
That's right. Making history.
History will remember us. That's right.
And they should have the big orange.

Remember the SNCC couch that they set out there by the fire?

Just have that on the sidelines for the Bears so that they can rotate their quarterbacks in and out of the game.

Although I do think that there is a chance.

Like if you hit Drew Brees in his boobies.

We lost to the Saints earlier this year in overtime.

If you hit Drew Brees, you can win the game. If you hit him, if you don't injure him badly.
So I think that if you knock Drew Brees out of the game, Taysom Hill comes in, and next thing you know, he's pulling the Aaron Rodgers, and he's dumping his Mormon loads in your mouth. If you hurt Drew Brees, but make him not injured, you need to hurt him, not injure him, then you get the 60% Drew Brees that is not as good as the 100% Taysom Hill.
I do not care that the Bears are not a very good football team. All I care is they're in the playoffs, and I'm going to enjoy it.
I'm going to enjoy this week. Guess what? I'm going to enjoy every fucking day.
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. I'm going to enjoy every single one of those days being like, hey, my team has a playoff game this week.
That is fun. That's fun as a fan to be excited about that.
Now, again, when we get to the game, it might not be enjoyable. Oh, it's definitely not going to be enjoyable.
And if, for some reason, the Bears pull off a semi-miracle,

I think they actually are the biggest underdogs in the wildcard round.

Or, sorry, yeah, wildcard round.

By the way, special thank you to you, PFT, and the Washington football team

for making the playoffs at 7-9,

which takes a little heat off the Bears being like 8-8 and not good.

Happy to do it.

And, again, not going to apologize. Not going to apologize.
They're not apologizing. If they win, though.
Yeah. Would it be the biggest underdog to ever win? No.
I was going to say, then we have to go to Green Bay and then get shit down my throat again. Okay.
Yeah, that's good. But at least you don't have to go there this week.
That's kind of nice that you don't have to go. That's what's going to.
I actually think the Bears are going to win this game solely so Aaron Rodgers can shit

down my throat again.

Do it for Zach Miller.

They're just tricking me.

You remember that?

That was in the Super Bowl.

Dude, I'm still mad about it.

Listen, that was a fucking touchdown.

The NFL OZ won based off that.

He lost his leg.

He did.

For that touchdown.

I'm going to guess.

I'm going to attempt to predict the spread.

Yeah.

Well, I already tipped it. Yeah, I know.
But that was you. That wasn't me.
I work with the information that predict the spread. Yeah.
Well, I already tipped it off.

Yeah, I know, but that was you. That wasn't me.
I work with the information that I'm given right here. What's the spread? Bears at the Saints.
Saints by nine and a half. Nine.
Over under 48. That's disrespectful to the Chicago Bears, but not really because they're not that good.
I don't know what I did. I think people think they're hurting me when they're like, the Bears are frauds.

And like... bears but not really because they're not that good uh like i don't know what i did i think people like people think they're hurting me when they're like the bears are frauds and like the bears are not good you know you can't hurt me because i know i know what the bears are they aren't they're like a better they're an average team that if they were in the afc wouldn't be in the playoffs they're in the nfC, so I'm not going to apologize.
And who the fuck knows? I don't care. I do not care.
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, I'm going to enjoy every single one of those fucking days this week because my team's in the playoffs. So say what you want about us as a podcast, but we're not delusional.
I think we know pretty much what our teams are. Except when you had the Washington football team in the NFC Championship game at like 2 o'clock this afternoon.
There's a path. There's a path.
The path is everybody gets injured or catches coronavirus except for the football team. But we get it.
We get it. We don't think that our teams are the best in the NFC.
We don't think that they're in the top three in the NFC. But you know what we do think? It's fun to watch football instead of not watching football.
Say it with me again. And I am going to watch football this weekend, and the football team that I watch play football is going to be playing against another football team on Saturday night.
There's only six games this weekend, and my team gets to play in one of them. Again, just say it to yourself over and over.

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday.

I'm going to enjoy every single day this week.

I'm going to read articles.

I am.

I'm going to read fucking articles.

I'm going to read matchup breakdowns. I'm going to read keys to the game.

Keys to the game.

Quotes from the players.

I'm going to consume it all and I'm going to enjoy it all. And I'm going watch the games on Saturday and be like guess what? My team gets to still play.
Guess what? Not the first team eliminated. That's a fact.
The Bears were not the first team eliminated in the 2020 21 playoffs. Okay? That's just a fact.
And Nickelodeon, Spongebob, what's up? I will watch that game on a live stream because it's Sunday afternoon, and we will have at least two TVs on a Nickelodeon stream. I'm very much looking forward to that.
I was promised googly eyes. I want to see googly eyes all over the place.
Do you think Drew Brees' ribs will be better? They should. On Nickelodeon? They should be glowing.
I want to see his ribs glowing. I also understand that there is a chance, and I love the city of New Orleans, and every time we've been there, the people have been unbelievable.
But there is a chance that if the Bears do somehow pull off a miracle and Drew Brees looks bad, that I will never be allowed back in New Orleans because I've said some shit. It would be very interesting if Jameis came in and beat the Bears.
That would be something. That would be so sad.
It would be so bittersweet. No, just bitter.
It would be very, very bitter. Because I'd be like, holy shit, we're going to get so many picks.
So the formula is that at times David Johnson is too good. He scores too quick.
So like that first drive. David Montgomery.
David Montgomery, sorry. David Montgomery, he scores too quick sometimes.
He needs to limit the run. He needs to have the runs, not the run version 3..0 yeah so like remember we were talking with Munkin the other week about Army's offense just like taking the soul out of you via these long drives so just don't try to get 20 30 yard runs just get a series of 6 yard runs agreed every single time agreed and know what? They can't score if they don't have the ball.
Yeah.

It's a fact.

Also, just one last thing for the Packers,

because guess what?

They're good, okay?

I'm not, last year, again, I say it how I feel.

Like, last year I thought they were frauds.

I thought that in my heart. I knew that they played a man football team.

This year they were better.

I do think their defense is better.

I'm worried about them going to the Super Bowl.

I'm just, I'm just, give me a chance. Give me a chance late in the game where Marquez Valdez-Scantling has to make a catch.
And he will not, and I will love that. Anyone – That's all I want.
Anyone with that many letters on the back of their uniform – That's all I want. Can't be a primetime player.
That's all I want. That's all I want.
All right. Raiders-Bron Broncos best shootout we didn't even watch.
Didn't watch it. Didn't watch it.
I bet on the Broncos plus three. There you go.
John Gruden finishes 8-8 which I guess you can weirdly be like alright we're moving in the right direction. 8-8 is like it's a season that didn't happen basically.
Vic Fangio staying. Drew Locke maybe.
I don't know. Jerry Judy had that huge long touchdown that reminded me of the Tebow touchdown.
That was pretty cool. It was a good pass by Drew, but yeah, Jerry Judy is fast as fuck.
How has Alabama ever lost a football game? Yeah, it's crazy. It's crazy.
They're just fast. They're just really, really fast.
And yeah, that was that game. All right.
If you're mad about that, I mean, again, we just... Red Zone didn't even show it.
Yeah, I'm sorry. I would have watched more of it if it had been on the TV more often.
Right. But I think that even if you're a Raiders fan, you're probably not super excited to hear the breakdown of this game.
Right. Because when you finish 8-8, it is like the season didn't happen at all.
Unless you make the playoffs. Well, not going to apologize.
In which case, it's a great fucking year. Not going to apologize.
But if you finish 8-8, don't make the playoffs in which case it's a great fucking year not gonna apologize if you finish eight and eight don't make the playoffs you just kind of turn the page and you go to you fast forward to next season and you're in the exact same place but you have to look at your roster and be like was am i more excited about this roster going into this season than i was last year if you're the raidersiders, I don't think you are. I don't know.

Maybe.

What's going to happen with Mariota and Derek Carr?

I don't know.

I could see John Gruen do anything.

There's some young players that you like.

Yeah.

That's cool. The nice thing about the Raiders is they win games on the road.

Yeah.

That's cool.

Six and two on the road.

Beat the Chiefs.

Beat the Chiefs.

Colts, Jaguars. The Colts love to get leads and then slowly give them away and make everything interesting.
They're in the playoffs. Congratulations, Colts.
You have to say that the Phil Rivers experience is a success because they're in the playoffs. Yep.
That is how you judge it. You got him to get to the playoffs you're in the

playoffs you were a decent team that fell apart last year you're now a team that that was able to sustain it get some help from the bills and get to the playoffs now um you have to go to buffalo which is going to be tough i just phil rivers like when he he climbs the pocket to nowhere He climbs the pocket to nowhere and then throws it.

Like, even when he climbs the pocket to nowhere. He climbs the pocket to nowhere and then throws it.

Like, even when he has to throw it, like, a five-yard out, it's very difficult.

I feel like I've seen these teams play in the playoffs before, and they haven't.

It's Frank Reich.

Yeah.

And Colors-ish.

And Colors-ish.

Frank Reich played against the Bills in the playoffs.

Bills?

Yeah, I know.

Yes, that is true. But Bills, can you find that for for us have the Bills and the Colts ever played in the playoffs playoff matchup see the problem is it's all going to be recent yeah it's going to be new stuff I think the Bills are going to kick the shit out of them but yeah the Colts they were such a weird team this year they were up and down at times they looked like they were dominant and then at other times like they were just week to week they were super inconsistent and uh good for them for using jacoby brissette to hand the ball off a couple times i don't believe so yeah okay that's one of those uh berenstein bears things yeah those colors look like they should have played each other yes yes uh it's gonna be a fun game i'm excited i it is like i do think the bills are getting a little disrespect paying the one o'clock saturday game which you know the espn is that espn this year cbs okay espn is the next it's ravens titans espn right oh oh yeah jimmy pataro has been doing work jimmy pataro just fucking glad handing roger goodell it worked man yeah you got a good game so This game, the spread on this, I'm going to guess.
Oh, yeah. Go ahead.
Guess. Seven and a half.
Six and a half. Wait, we already guessed it.
Did we? I'm fucking delusional. I think we did it when we did the bill.
Oh, yeah. I think I probably got it right the first time.
Yeah, you just got it right. I'm delusional.
My brain's not working. What happened? It's 1 o'clock in the morning.
This is when we usually turn on American Ninja Warrior in the background. It's coming.
And, look, it's been a long season. We got five games left.
I'm making up playoff games inside my own head. What are you going to say, Bill? Convising myself Tom Brady's injured.
What happens if something terrible happens during the Nickelodeon game and they have to explain it with Spongebob? Oh, they'll just slime them. They'll slime the whole screen.
No, I think they will. I think they'll slime the screen and then they'll come back.
Like a Justin Fields hit type scenario in the Nickelodeon game. How would Spongebob explain that, Billy? Skalski made a great hit.

Ah!

Billy, you did that and it didn't play?

Yeah, it was terrible.

Tell us real quick. It was really awkward.

Tell us real quick.

So I was like with a mixed group of people in my family.

What do you mean?

We were all social distancing.

What do you mean mixed group of people?

What does that mean?

What does Billy mean by mixed?

I don't know.

I don't know if it's racist or sexist.

No, it's just mixed company.

How many dicks? How many chicks? What would your app say A couple acquaintances And I whipped out the Spongebob laugh And it really didn't hit No one laughed Do it again That's funny It's on them I knew the Spongebob laugh And they were like what, Billy. It's a great litmus test to figure out whether or not they're cool.
They fail. They work cool.
They don't burn. Bill's by six and a half.
That's what I'm guessing. Yeah.
You're right. Chargers Chiefs whipped through this one.
I mean, the Chiefs sat everyone. Chad Henney wasn't that bad.
And the Chargers, of course, had the perfect Chargers season, finished seven and and nine seven of nine losses by one score yep perfect that is the perfect you got to get rid of anthony lynn you have a future that is very very bright they are like the opposite of what we talked about with the dolphins were like you know justin herbert's your guy that's got to feel really really good oh if you a Chargers fan, you feel very good about this offense. Cool uniforms.
Yeah. Went toe-to-toe with the Chiefs twice.
You know, they beat the Chiefs when it was the backups, but remember, like week four, they lost in overtime to the Chiefs. But, yeah.
All right. Next up, Rams Cardinals.
Thank you, Los Angeles Rams. Thank you, John Wolford.
I don't know what the Cardinals were doing. Kyler Murray got hurt.
Something called a Chris Strievler came in, which was John Wolford versus Chris Strievler for the playoffs was a hell of a game. And then Kyler Murray comes back in.
The Cardinals, I actually think they just gave up because... They did give up.
They had third and 18. They ran an option play with a hurt Kyler Murray, and then they punted the ball with 424 left, down two scores, and the playoffs on the line, and that was it.
So I think what went through Cliff's brain was he sees Kyler Murray in the game, tries to run him, sees that he's not able to pull off the Kyler Murray offense, and he's like, well, that's all that we planned for, so I'm not going to have him run a traditional offense, so let's just punt on this one. Let's just give up.
So like Cliff Kingsbury, he waved the white flag on the entire season. Yep.
Like, they actually could have made the playoffs. This was, it was delivered to them on gold platter.
Yes. Like, you were playing John Wolford.
You were playing John Wolford. You were up.
And you played to lose against John Wolford. I'm revoking his quarterback whisperer card.
Cliff, I'm revoking your offensive guru mastermind card. Yeah.
This is the biggest indictment on Cliff Kingsbury that he's ever produced thus far. This game was his masterpiece explaining to everybody else what we saw in him, which was big-time fraud.
Yeah, and the Rams defense played really, really well. Jalen Ramsey locked down DeAndre Hopkins.
Again, it was Chris Strievler, who I feel bad for the guy because he had to come in. John Wolford also, hilarious team photo shot.
People were saying he looks like a McPoyle. I don't care.
I love the guy. I'll forever love the guy.
I hope Jared gets healthy. I hope maybe Blake plays.
I'm excited for the Seahawks-Rams game because I do think the Rams, like the Rams have had weird games. They lost to the Jets, obviously, but they're very good.
Maybe not very good, but they're a good team, and they're a good coach team, and they have a good defense, and I think they're going to be a hard out for it. If they beat the Seahawks, who knows? Because who would they play? I mean, would they play the Saints? There would be a bad matchup for the Saints, I think.
So I'm looking at Chris Strievler Google Images right now, and he actually has an elite Google Image search. Yeah, because he won the Grey Cup, right? Because he won the Grey Cup, and he partied like a star afterwards.
Shout out Chris Streeper for winning the Grey Cup. He's pretty photogenic.
He kind of looks like if you put Ryan Fitzpatrick through a Ryan Reynolds filter, if one of those existed. So, yeah, I mean, he's chugging out of what appears to be a JV Stanley Cup in one of these pictures.
But, yeah, the Rams, if they get Goff back,

then they could do some damage in the playoffs.

But John Wolford

isn't going to make that happen.

Yeah, so you want to guess

what's the spread on that game?

I'm going to guess.

And let's talk about the Seahawks 49ers while we do that.

So Goff is not going to be back for this game.

We don't know that.

We don't know that.

I'm thinking he might not.

When I'm putting this spread out there,

I'm going to go back for this game. We don't know that.
We don't know that. I'm thinking he might not.
When I'm putting this spread out there, I'm going to say it like Jared Goff is not going to be back. I'm going to say Seahawks by 9.
4.5. What? I think he's going to be back.
4.5? 4.5. 42.5.
I mean, remember, these are, they've played three times. This will be their third game.
They know each other. I think, I don't want to say this.
If golf's back, then yeah, four and a half makes sense. I kind of like the under.
If Bortles is playing, four and a half makes sense. These teams know each other.
All right, so the Seahawks did beat the 49ers. Weird game.
Shout out, C.J. Beathard.
Swag. I was wrong, Billy.
Apologies. That cover that he got us, I guess it was kind of his fault that we almost didn't cover because he fumbled.
But then it was his fault that we were covering before they almost didn't cover. Right, so the Seahawks, it's very weird.
The Seahawks' season is so weird because the first half of the season, they were the best offense in the league, worst defense. Now their defense looks like average, which is pretty much all they need.
But their offense is herky-jerky. Like they weren't, they were bad.
They were losing 9-6 in the fourth quarter. And I think they scored three touchdowns in the fourth.
I don't know. Do you, you have the, in the NFC real quick quick and we'll just lump in because we're we're trying to we've gone long and we're trying to wrap up so the saints panthers also happened jamis went in for three seconds and got an unsportsmanlike conduct he got the save though it was awesome he got to see it was fucking awesome that's what did he do to get that he threw his body into a defender like in a comic like like kind of like after the play that's what James does.
He's a fucking slapstick comedian, and he's great at it. So let's do it real quick.
But first, before you get into anything on this game, are we sure that Christian McCaffrey is okay? I don't know. I haven't heard from him.
Is he alive? All I know is that whenever he comes back, he'll run the ball 40 times. And then he'll get hurt.
But I don't know if he's alive. Yeah, well, he's on his commercials.
He's, what, he's missed 13, 14 games?

No, I think he played more than that. Because remember, he came back for a couple games

and then got hurt again because they ran him too much.

I feel like he's missed, he's alive, about 13 games.

Oh, is that confirmed, Billy?

How do you know?

Confirmed alive.

How do you fucking know?

He was kissing his girlfriend.

Christian McCaffrey.

Three games this year.

Three games.

He played November 8th. Yeah McCaffrey.
Three games this year. Three games.
He played out like...

November 8th.

Yeah, he returned and got hurt again.

Give me your...

The NFC, wouldn't you say...

I actually think that...

No offense to us.

We're not going to apologize.

We're not going to apologize.

But I actually would contend that everyone except us can go to the Super Bowl. Let's see.
I actually, you could spin something in my head where I could see it. The Rams obviously be in the outside because of the golf thing.
But outside of the Bears and the Washington football team, again, we're not apologizing. I love that we're the two teams that everyone's like fucking get out of here guys like this sucks that's you're terrible when you look at when you look at these two teams we are the official podcast of not apologizing for our teams being sucky and getting and then you compare them to the nfc playoff structure it's probably like a lot of people that look at the top of like the itunes podcast.
And it's like New York Times, The Daily, NPR, and then our two fat asses sitting there talking about dicks all the time, trying to weave in a ham-fisted Hitler analogy to the AFC West. And it's like, yeah, that's just, hey, that's us, baby.
Yeah, we're here, baby. Love us, warts and all.
Yeah, we are like Wake Forest and Duke in the ACC. We're here? In football, not basketball.
Although basketball, too. Basketball, really? They actually stink.
But yeah, you could make that argument, Big Cat. I think that it's probably slim chance that either the football team or the Chicago Bears made the Super Bowl this year?

Yeah.

But there is a... We're in the chip in a chair.

There is a chance.

Chip in a chair.

But yeah, don't you think that the NFC, you could...

The Packers obviously can go to the Super Bowl.

They're the prohibitive favorites because of the bye,

and they're probably the best team.

The Saints, absolutely.

If the Saints are playing their best, they can beat everyone. The Bucs, just by the fact that they kicked the shit out of the Packers, you've got to put them in there.
The Seahawks, the fact that their defense is average, and if they're offense, like Russell Wilson, I'll never count him out. And then the Rams, the Rams have beaten the Seahawks, right? At one point this year? Let's see.
Yeah, the Rams recently beat the Seahawks. They beat the Seahawks.
They beat the Bucs. Like, the Rams and Aaron Donald's the best player in the playoffs.
Like, the Rams are in there too. They lost to the Rams and then they beat the Rams a couple weeks ago.
So, yeah. Every team but ours could go to the Super Bowl.
Theoretically. I would say they're all not like there are no frauds in the NFC playoffs except for the Washington football team and the Chicago Bears.
But we're not frauds because you know what? We're the fun guys that show up to the party, and it's like we're not going to steal your girlfriend. We're going to fucking just play some beer pong, make some jokes, maybe fall through a table, and have some laughs.
We keep it light. And you know what? No threat, bro.
You know what? We're the glue guys of the NFC. We're making sure that the Saints and the Bucs get a nice tune-up.
Bro, we're not even going to hit on your girlfriend. We won't even talk to her.
We don't talk to chicks. I'm just get drunk chicks being the super bowl trophy we don't even talk we don't even look at that shit we're here to fucking have a good ass time now that said if she comes on to me like i don't know i don't know if she comes on if she comes on to me on to us we won't even be able to pick up the signs i don't know i don't know if she won't realize what's happening what If I'm blackout.
No. If I'm blackout and she comes on to us, we won't even be able to pick up the signs.
I don't know. I don't know.
We won't realize what's happening. What if I'm blackout? No.
If I'm blackout and she comes on to us, I can't make any promises. We won't even know what's going on.
It's not going to happen. It's not going to happen.
And even if I tried, my dick wouldn't work because I'd be too blackout. We're tapping the keg.
We'll do some keg stands. I also think that- We'll hop in the pool.
We're going to have a fucking great-ass time. You could make the argument that the top four teams, maybe top five teams in the NFC as a whole, are they better than the top five teams in the AFC? Oh, absolutely.
The AFC, to me, no offense to everyone in the AFC, but it's the Bills and the Chiefs. And maybe the Ravens.
What about the Browns? I like the Browns, but I don't... I think even Browns fans would say to win three games against...
You'd have to beat the Chiefs. You'd have to beat the Steelers.
That's going to be pretty tough with the defense that's banged up. But those Browns...
From that first half against the Titans a few weeks ago? Those Browns could do it. Okay, so the Browns are our friends that are also showing up to the party.
They have a tiny bit of game. They have a little bit.
They will do the thing where they think they caught eyes with your girlfriend across the bar, but not actually. They're like, oh, did we just lock eyes? No, you didn't, but you almost did, whereas we don't even look at the chicks.
I think the Browns are going to show up. They show up with a girlfriend already there.
Yeah. And they're like, look at – they show off their girlfriend.
And it's like, look how hot she is. I'm doing pretty well for myself.
Right, guys? See, I think – And then they leave at like 1130 because they're going to go home and have a good time with their – they're already happy. They're happy to just get the invite.
To the invite. Yeah.
All right. Last up, Titans-Texans.
I wish the Texans could play every playoff game because every single one of their games is fun and stupid and ridiculous. It always ends up with Deshaun Watson losing in a horrific fashion.
He led the league in passing this year. That's crazy.
Does J.J. Watt hate Texans fans for not showing up to this game? For not leading that defensive...
After that impassioned speech that he gave them last week, you have to question a guy like that. You have to question his leadership.
J.J., there are a lot of kids out there that are watching you today. Pay your salary.
And shout out Tractor Cito. 2K.
Should be in the MVP conversation. It's Aaron Rodgers' MVP, but he should at least be considered because the last running back to win an mvp was 2012 adrian peterson who ran for 2 000 yards do you remember um this is like maybe 10 weeks ago when we're talking about russell wilson not ever getting mvp vote yeah he's not going to get an mvp vote this year i think someone might throw him one you think there'll be one person that's like hey yeah just that we you know what i actually wouldn't hate i won't i won't vote for Rodgers.
I won't either. So I'll vote for Derrick Henry.
I'm not going to hate... I will be excited if somebody does vote for Russell Wilson just because we can stop having the conversation.
Oh, wait. Derrick Henry or Russell Wilson were you saying? No.
I'm saying like Russell Wilson has never gotten any. He's getting zero.
He's not going to get any. Correct.
Yes. Derrick Henry might get one.
But I would be okay if one person voted for Russell Wilson. Just a troll.
We don't have to go through this again next year. Yeah.
But yeah, Derrick Henry should get a lot of it. I would vote for Derrick Henry for MVP.
I think Rodgers is the MVP. It fucking kills me to say it, but Derrick Henry should absolutely get votes.
Maybe a split MVP. Like, who's it, McNair and Peyton? Yeah, that was a nice year.
Yeah, that was cool um also just shout out the titans for 18 seconds left uh tie ball game on their own 20 and they're like fuck it full send and like that was so awesome no teams don't do that teams don't say and they should that was a great idea because if you get to the the way that game was going if you get to the to the coin flip it's literally a coin flip like it's you know like when you get to overtime if you get to the way that game was going, if you get to the coin flip, it's literally a coin flip. Like, it's, you know, like when you get to overtime, if you have a decent defense, it's not really a coin flip.
It's like, hey, we can get a stop. No, whoever won the coin flip was going to win the game because they were going to score because that's how the game was going.
So I think that Ryan Tannehill, even though he didn't have a great statistical game today, he had, I think, 200 yards passing. Dude, yeah and ryan tanhill in the cold like when they played in the snow up in green bay the other week he looked so slow yes he does not like being outside when it's cold outdoors i don't know if the titans they just their defense is so bad except for the boy except for the boy The boy is always fucking balling.
He is. He's playing.
He's boying out. He's the boy.
Except for the boy. The boy is always

fucking balling. He is.

He's boying out. He's playing well.
Marshall Newhouse

got another boy in the game. He

lined up too far off the line of scrimmage. That wasn't

fair. That wasn't fair.
You should be allowed to

he was just making sure his quarterback

didn't get hurt. Right.

Oh, American Ninja Warriors on. Jeff Harris

is out there. Alright.

We will have tons of playoff talk.

We're going to have the Low Man Trophy coming

on Tuesday. What time? Tuesday night.

Tuesday at 6pm. 6pm.

Live cast right before the Heisman. The only

trophy that matters.

So we will have that. Presented by Chevy.

Presented by Chevy. So get ready for that

and then we'll have a bunch of playoff content

coming up because we're fucking excited

to be invited to the party. Alright.
Let's do the back half of the show. Who's back? Football guy of the week.
College football. Let's do it all.
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All right, back to part of my take.

All right, let's do some Football Guy of the Week.

We've got college football playoffs.

Final is set.

Bowl game recap.

Who's back of the week to finish us up on the end of the NFL regular season. All right.
Football guy of the week. Go ahead, Jake.
All right. Last one of the year.
Start off with Cincinnati. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
We'll do it in the playoffs. Yeah, football guy of the week.
We've got a national championship. And then we've got football until February.
This is actually when football guys, like, really come out of the woodwork because there's no football.

Yeah.

Well, AWLs, tweet me your nominees because we're dealing with less volume.

Right, right, right.

So, only four nominees.

Yeah, but it's going to be quality over quantity.

You know what?

Let's do this, okay?

Jake, you've done a wonderful job this regular season.

Are we going to hand it off to the AWLs?

No, no, no.

We're going to hand it off to my guy, Billy. Billy, you are going to be in charge of Football Guy of the Week for the playoffs.
No, no, no. Not stripped.
Not stripped. That was an incredible job well done.
Your Dolphins didn't make the playoffs, so you don't make the playoffs. Fine.
Let's go Football Guy of the Week. Consider it a promotion.
James Skalski, Football Guy of the Week. Billy.
Billy, you're just spending it. His tackle was fine.
Right now. You're supervising Billy.
Okay. So Jake's now your boss, Billy.
Yeah, you're his editor. All right, here we go.
Cincinnati cornerback Justin Harris, after losing the Peach Bowl to Georgia, he watched the entire trophy presentation on the field by himself. I love it.
Just eating it. Just staring at it so he's not going to forget.
And the tweet that accompanied it was so funny. He was like, watch out for this guy.
He's going to be the hungriest guy next year. He's going to be the best cornerback for Cincinnati.
Yes. Lions quarterback Matthew Stafford started the season finale against the Vikings despite dealing with an ankle, rib, and thumb injury.
In a totally meaningless game, this is why Matthew Stafford should be in the Hall of Fame. He knows that his Hall of Fame resume is not going to be based on playoff wins because he has none.
It's going to be based on stats, overall touchdowns, and being top five in passing all time when he does retire at age 45 with 16 vertebraes broken. Yeah, being super tough.
Being the toughest person to ever exist in the NFC North. And as far as I'm concerned, as far as quarterbacks go, yeah, Brett Favre was pretty tough.

But you know what?

He also got to play for winning teams.

You know how much more tough you have to be to play for teams

that suck all the time?

Listen, I think we've said this before, but Ben Roethlisberger,

when he looks in the mirror, he sees Matthew Stafford.

That's what he wants to be.

Next up, Alabama head coach Nick Saban.

On adapting to recruiting during a pandemic,

this was during a pre-Roseville press conference, he said, you adapt or die. The dinosaurs didn't and they aren't around anymore.
It's a fact. I mean, they just built meteor shields like they should have.
They'd be fine. It also is.
We're going to get to the college football playoff, but Nick Saban has completely adapted. I actually read an article like the the member of the kick six game.
It was in that game that Nick Saban decided that he was going to change everything because auburn kept on beating him with the rpo he's like if they can block this far downfield i'm just going to start recruiting different athletes and beat everyone that way and he's done it yeah nick saban is nick saban is uh he doesn't get enough credit for that though because like old coaches usually just die you think about nick saban as being like an old school football guy which he very much is but he was also the one of the first like great coaches to be like you know what fuck i'm just going full send on the future i'm gonna become a person from the future and still be the same brand of pissed off football right it's it's it's actually incredible how he essentially changed his entire philosophy and now just puts up like 70 points every game i like to think that miss terry contributed to it miss terry is probably just like like harp on him all the time behind the scenes. He's like, hey, Nick.
Nick, you got to get those fellers that can run downfield. Maybe some verts.
Maybe some real lean tackles. Maybe don't make your offensive line eat quite so much cornbread.
Go full send. And then lastly, I had Eli Manning.
I also saw a late submission Frank Reich. Did you see what he did with the scoreboard? He told him to turn off the scoreboard at Lucas Oil Stadium so the Colts could, I guess, focus on themselves.
But Eli tweeted, not sure what to wear for the Giants game today, my jersey or my birthday suit. Yeah, we all know that Peyton would have gone birthday suit.
Probably right on top of a trainer's face. Yep.
Hold on. Football guys don't make dumb jokes.
Wait, also Frank Reich. Yeah, well, he's a corny dad.
I actually love the Eli seamless transition. So who do we think for the last one? Frank.
Well, Frank, I actually noticed that you left one out, Jake. Let's hear it.
Rick Carl from the Tuscaloosa whatever, I don't know, Times or whatever. WVATM 13.
You probably know him as. This is not a football guy.
You probably might know him as the guy that went fishing with Nick Saban once. Yeah, so he had.
This happened while we were on break. But he said Coach Saban, Nick Saban held his Rose Bowl press conference today and a reporter addressed the coach as, hi, Saban.
His name is Coach Saban, not Nick, not Saban. Here's why.
And then he put it. He linked us all to his Facebook page uh which I won't read the whole thing but essentially he was like you have to call him coach coach Saban he's not your friend uh and and this is coming from a guy who once fished with him in he's been in my dinghy he said so uh don't you think he should be football guy of the week for respecting coaches to the utmost i think respecting the biz to that to that degree is a very solid resume to put on football guy of the week i like you can also get around this with a life hack because i agree that every coach that has ever put on a whistle and held a clipboard you're then coach for the rest of your life to those players that you coached yes point you can just you can just name kid coach if you want to.
Yeah. How sweet would that be? I like that he also gave...
Immediate respect. He gave the coach card, like, you know, you get the pass to say certain words.
He gave the coach card to certain people. So he said, who in my eyes can call Coach Saban Nick? Miss Terry can.
Lifelong friends can. His current assistants can.
Perhaps a few in the media world can call him Nick. Chris Lowe.
Cecil Hurt. Perhaps Feinbaum or Reese Davis or Tom Rinaldi.
You know, people who know him well. Do you mean Mr.
Feinbaum? You don't just call Paul Feinbaum. Yeah.
But the last time I checked, none of the above are any of us. Even though, again, he said once went fishing with Nick Saban in his Twitter bio.
I do love gatekeeping Nick. Yeah.
He's gatekeeping the word Nick for people. That's your...
Are we actually putting him as a nominee? No, no. We're more shunning you as a Big J journalist.
Well, I texted you guys. He wanted my take on it.
These are your people. I said, this is why some Big J's have the stigma of being dorks.
You're covering sports. Have fun.
Oh, yeah.

You dropped a hard D on him.

That's right.

No, but continue, Jake.

Who gives a S-H-I-T?

See, that's – yeah.

But he also said dork.

He also said full dork.

I mean, like, you can have fun.

It doesn't have to be just like talk about the game.

Where did this guy go to school?

I don't know.

He's in Birmingham, though.

Nick Saban has been in my dinghy. He has been in my dinghy.
We've done some fishing together. Got to call him coach.
Yeah. Two of my friends are local sports reporters in Alabama, so they're better than him, even before this incident.
Oh, man. He said it's been something that's been eating at him for, well, about 13 years.
That sucks, dude. Your life sucks sucks that you've been like waking up in the middle of the night with like hot flashes and like feels like someone just called him nick i think that's awesome though i i think it's good that we have these reporters have such a warped like perception of what college football is because like we were talking the other week about how college football coaches are warlords

that just take command of these small towns that have these giant schools, and they are unquestioned by anybody. I love the simp reporters that go alongside everything that they have to say and worship.
If they were in Coming to America, they would be just tossing magnolia leaves in front of Nick Saban's feet every time he walked out onto the field. It's crazy.
I think he actually pulled, I think he edited his own post and took out the dinghy line. I can't find it.
So maybe he was, people were like, hey dude, you had him in your dinghy. Now, what do you think Nick Saban's reaction to this guy would be? Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Excuse me. Coach.
I can't say the N word. Saban's.
Coach. Coach.
Coach. Coach Saban's.
Coach Saban's. Coach Saban's.
What do you think Coach Saban's reaction to this might be? If he found out about this guy, do you think he would look down his nose and be like, this guy needs to fuck off, alright? Or do you think he would be like, I love you, you are in my inner circle forever? He would say, you're a fucking dork, dude. Yeah.
And I don't care. I do.
Nick Saban, you could call him shithead. If he wins a national title, he does not care.
All right, so vote. You're going to post it, blog it, everything.
And, Jake, job well done this year. Great job with Football Guy.
Thank you. Good luck to Billy.
While supervising. Yes.
Good luck to you. You know, you're going to be evaluated on this, Jake, not this.
We know what to expect out of Billy already. But if you can elevate him.
Billy has to blog it. Yeah.
Yeah, Billy has to blog it.

If you can elevate him to being a productive member of society, sky's the limit, Jake.

I put my blogging pants on the other day.

All right, so let's do Baby Braun of the Week real quick.

Let's talk some college football playoffs, and we'll get through who's back the week.

Hank, Baby Braun of the Week.

The entire Spurs organization.

Ooh. Did you see this? No.
You guys heard about this? No. You read about this? Please.
Enlighten me. You hear this one? Do you hear about this? I heard about this.
So someone made the graphic, and then LeBron put the graphic up on his Instagram, and it's like since 2003 or whatever when he came in the league. Hold on.
I'll pull the graphic up. Wait, he stole the graphic? He stole it.
He stole it. Did he aggregate it? And his caption was, My homie from the crib sent this to me just now.
So I don't know. That literal baby Bron? I think that means, yeah.
Bronny James Jr. His wife, maybe? Man, I have no words.
The Spurs are the staple and blueprint of winning in our league since even before I entered the league, truly breast the kid from Akron, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And the stat is just like basically LeBron versus San Antonio Spurs since 2003.
It shows that the Spurs have a little more games. And the Spurs have a better winning percentage, more playoff appearances, and LeBron has more championships.
So he baby-broned the Spurs by being like, I'm basically as good as the entire organization, but love the Spurs. You know, they're good.
They're good guys. Just a kid from Akron.
Yeah. It's Akron's country.
Yes, that's true. All right.
PFT. My baby brawn of the week is Henry Garcia's sperm.
All of them, all of the sperm are baby brawns of the week. So both his sons, he had two sons that were fighting on DAZN over the weekend,

Ryan Garcia and Sean Garcia, and they both won.

And he was doing an interview with DAZN,

and the lady on there said that the real MVP of the night was your sperm.

And this old man had the biggest smile on his face.

I love it.

That's better than sex.

If you're like a father that can claim that all your sons are just dominant

at their sport and just beating the shit out of people on the same night and then a lovely lady tells you that your sperm are great you've made it like you should just ascend to heaven at that point yeah and the klitschko's it's showing up the klitschko's they never fought bullshit you should have fought they're like what i think their whole line was like we'll fight when we play chess okay nerds uh don't kick my ass billy no no no no not you might have to fight not the glitch no you might have to fight i'm gonna keep i'm gonna keep uh writing checks that you're gonna have to cash okay uh all right my baby braun of the week is graham mertz my my true baby braun he just finishes freshman kind of red shirt freshman year at wisconsin won the mayo bowl broke the mayo bowl trophy i'm just so happy that like that was such a godsend if you can't be good in like if you can't have a great college football year to play in a hilariously stupid uh bowl game and treat it like the national championship is the greatest feeling was the trophy just a big big jar of mayo? No, it was like glass, and he broke it, and then he taped a bottle of mayo to the top of it. So he's my baby brawn of the week.
Shout out Graham Mertz. He's going to be a Heisman someday.
I made a list of all the haters. Just so you know, a lot of people jumped off the ship, not me.
It was actually improved as a trophy by taping the mayo to it. And a lot of people there was a lot of hate about mayo i feel like the last couple years it's become de rigueur to hate mayonnaise yeah almost like it's you're performing that like oh look i hate mayo more than next year guess what fine find me a sandwich that isn't improved like a nice cold cut sandwich that isn't made better by like a little bit of mayonnaise or is it like 90 of the world out here eating sandwiches with no condiments on it whatsoever i think i think svp said it perfectly he was like what's the deal with everyone hating mayo i don't go like crazy on it but a little bit of mayo goes a long way like it's it's you know what it is it's the upside down world of bacon on twitter yeah the anti everyone loves to say oh everything's better with bacon and everything's worse with mayo.
No, shut up. A BLT with some mayo on it is great.
It's one of the greatest sandwiches in the world. Otherwise, you're just eating dry-ass bread.
Mayo greater than ketchup. All these haters out here.
Now that's a take. Way more versatile.
Ketchup is just a mask. What about mixing it? Wow.
What about mayo chip? That's, I mean. That's very fresh.
The day that I realized that was the secret sauce for the Big Mac, really. Well, there's some Thousand Island stuff in there, too.
Yeah, that ruined my childhood. But yeah, people need to pump the brakes on mayo.
I've been on team anti-mayo for a long time now, but it's gotten too much. You know what? I predict a pendulum to swing in the tournament department.
I think we're going to see a back swing back towards the silent majority of you out there. The silent majority.
We fucking love Mayo. Yes, absolutely.
All right, Billy, do you have a baby run? I'm so happy this didn't get taken. Justin Fields, baby run.
Okay, let's do it. It's a perfect segue to our college football playoff recap.
Justin Fields, incredible. I told you.
Kind of made Drew Brees look like a pussy.

Just going to say it because he did play with some ribs that were very,

very badly damaged.

That game was awesome, though.

And Dabo got the roasting and dragging that he rightly deserved after ranking

Ohio State 11th.

I mean, Ohio State needs to rank Clemson 12th.

Yeah.

Ryan Day needs to put him as number 12 in this week's coaches poll

and get back at him.

But, like, yeah, Justin Fields woke up after he got –

he might be one of those guys that likes a little bit of pain.

I hope he's okay for the national championship

because, like, whatever Ohio State figured out in that game,

and Trey Sermon was incredible,

and he's now doing, like, an Ezekiel Elliott impression where I think he's had 500 yards in the last two games. So essentially if he runs for 200 yards in the national title, that will be what Zeke did in their 2014 national title run.
But that was an incredible, incredible performance. And now everyone, I don't think there's a debate.
Trevor Lawrence is still the number one pick. I think it'd be very funny though if the Jaguars took Fields, let Lawrence fall to the Jets.
The Jets took him, and then Trevor Lawrence was a shitty quarterback. That would be the most hilarious outcome in all this.
But yeah, I think it's pretty obvious they're going to stick with Trevor Lawrence. But Justin Fields, you'll always have that over Trevor Lawrence.
No matter what happens down the line in the NFL, you're like, I whooped his ass. Yes.
The game that Justin Fields has, it was one of the best games I've ever seen by any quarterback at any level. Yes.
That 68-yard pass that he threw on a dime with the broken ribs. Chris Alave, who now is another one, the Cincy cornerback standing on the field.
Chris Alave last year, that was the miscommunication that basically ended the game against Clemson. That was a full redemption.
Ohio State deserves all the credit for kicking the shit out of Clemson. That was an ass-kicking.
I love, love, love bowl season because the other game, Notre Dame-Alabama, which just became a debate whether Notre Dame deserved to be there. Great backdoor cover.

It became a debate on whether or not Notre Dame deserved to be a college football program in general.

But the best part is there's no one else.

It's not a Notre Dame problem.

Whoever's going to be in that fourth seed is probably going to get the shit kicked out of them.

Remember Oklahoma last year?

They lost by a billion to LSU.

It'd also be very funny if they allowed Clemson to play against Notre Dame in a third place game and just had Clemson beat the shit out of Notre Dame too. Yeah, and it was funny.
Listen to Brian Kelly. And you're right.
Notre Dame, definitely the fourth best team in the country. They had the resume.
They deserved it. In fact, they lost to Alabama, I think by less than one.
They held Alabama to 31. They held Alabama to 31.
And then Texas A&M struggled with the UNC team missing their three best offensive players, not Sam Howell. So they deserve to be there, but it was very funny in the postgame press conferences when people were asking Brian Kelly about Notre Dame's postseason record, and Brian Kelly's got this thing where he acts like being Notre Dame is a condition that he was born with, And he gets mad that like reporters are discriminating against his condition

that he's at Notre Dame.

He's like,

I don't know why you guys keep asking me about Notre Dame and playoffs.

Like you don't ask us about any other team.

It's like,

well,

yeah,

because no other team has done in the postseason what you guys have done.

But the craziest thing,

and this is why I do,

I truly love college football so,

so much because bowl season is the best because we basically spend the entire bowl season having arguments that can't be won. Oklahoma kicked the shit out of Florida.
Florida wasn't trying. Oklahoma was the fourth best team.
Texas A&M played UNC. Texas A&M struggled UNC.
They shouldn't have even been in the conversation. Iowa State beats Oregon.
All these moving parts. Georgia beats Cincinnati.
Cincinnati was undefeated. Georgia's the fourth best team team none of it matters because you can never win an argument and everyone has decided what their opinion is and I actually enjoy like I enjoy arguing online about it because it's so stupid and fun and like that's what sports are about uh but the craziest part about Notre Dame is Notre Dame is like at its ceiling like they only The only thing that Notre Dame can do, I think, to actually get over this hill is they need a Trevor Lawrence or a Tua or a Joe Burrell.
They need one of those crazy elite quarterbacks, five-star quarterback who can do everything. Everything else, they're kind of like, this is what they are.
They're never going to get all the guys that Alabama gets or all the guys that Ohio State gets or all the guys. They're going to get close to it, but they're never going to get all the way just because it's a different school.
It's a different setting. They have different restrictions.
It could be a lot worse. Yeah.
It's been a lot worse in recent history for Notre Dame. Yeah.
Brian Kelly's a very good coach, and some of those losses, like the ass-whooping that I think Jamarcus Russell put on Brady Quinn, obviously all that's not totally on Brian Kelly's resume, although maybe we can put some of it on there just for fun. But he's as good as a coach and as good as a program as I think they're going to get, and I love the arguments around it, like with all the second-tier teams you were talking about, saying like, oh, A&M got hosed.

If we were in the college football playoff, we would have done a lot better than Notre Dame.

I love those because you get to have so many different fan bases engaged in believing

that they are the best team in the country and never actually having to prove it.

Correct.

Because if they tried to prove it, then Alabama would just dust all of them.

Beat them all.

And college football is so funny because when you actually break it down, there are three teams, and it's Ohio State, Clemson, and Alabama. And then you have certain teams that can join the party, the LSUs, the USCs, if they ever get back, Oklahoma, Georgia.
There are teams that are in that – UCF. Yeah, but they're in that second tier where it's like if things go right they have all the pieces but Alabama Clemson and Ohio State are the death star they're going to be in it every year they're going to be really good every year so it's essentially like you have to just understand what your ceiling is and you know be happy with the I'm fucking thrilled I won the Mayo Bowl there you go I won the fucking Mayo that's the sweet spot's the sweet spot for Wisconsin football.
No, dude. I've said this before.
Like, if Wisconsin wins the Rose Bowl, I'll treat it like a Super Bowl. I do not care.
Right. Like, I know what I am, and it's the crazy fan bases that don't understand their ceiling.
And I think actually – like, I have a lot of friends that are Notre Dame fans. I think they actually kind of understand, like, this is what it is.
Like, unless we have that incredible five-star quarterback that's dynamic and does everything, this is our ceiling, and it's okay. I think everybody under the age of, like, 45 understands that.
But then you get the old-timers that are like, yeah, this is Notre Dame. We're supposed to be winning national championships every single year.
I mean, their helmets are so fucking cool. They are cool, the Golden Domes.
They really are. Like, they are.
I guarantee you that Notre Dame, I think I've said this about UNC, but UNC definitely gets at least, like, two or three recruits a year just on their colors. Dude, the Argyle.
The blue Argyle is incredible. If I were a stud athlete in basketball or football and I took one look, like, oh, I get to wear that for the rest of me? Because it's not just in college.
You get to wear that for the rest of your life. Right.
That becomes your thing. wear that for the rest of your life right that becomes your thing that becomes your color and he's notre dame same with the helmet you can even convince yourself like my eyes are really blue when you wear those blue uniforms it really brings out my irises um i i am disappointed that cincinnati lost just because i wanted another luke fickle i wanted another ucf i wanted another like team that could try to claim a national championship that I would respect uh when they really had no business doing it but that was such a bad it was very bad they deserve to lose they were snapping the ball with 10 seconds left and I I can't really criticize after we all watched what Doug's did with the clock management but it was pretty bad and it was a big moment um bowl season's the best though I fucking love it I love all bowl season it's so stupid i can't believe people actually complain about like watching army versus west virginia at like two o'clock on a thursday and then coaches got really fast all of a sudden kirby smart was legging it out kirby smart has so much energy he's got a lot uh jimbo fisher had some wheels on him yep georgia i noticed they they the NCAA in having players playing in, wearing unusual numbers for their positions that they play.
They always have like a middle linebacker wearing number five. Dude, did you see Cord Sandberg? Ryan Sandberg's nephew came in for Auburn.
He's a lefty quarterback wearing number 24. It's weird, isn't it? It's crazy.
I'm a Cord guy now. Isn't that not even allowed? I had no idea.
It was the craziest thing I've ever seen. You can do whatever you want.
I'm pretty sure Georgia... I thought there was a certain 1 through 20 for quarterbacks.
Well, they run out of numbers, so there are multiple numbers on a given team in college football, which I think the Knicks actually did that last week. Did you see that? The Celtics are about to run out, too.
No, the guy had the 25 on the front of his jersey, 23 on the back. Yeah, yeah.
But there's always a tight end on Georgia that wears No. 23.
Right. And it boggles my mind.
If I'm a scout, it's a good thing I'm not an NFL scout anymore because if I was and I saw a tight end wearing No. 23, it could be Rob Gronkowski in college.
I'd be like, that guy sucks. That guy should be playing running back.
Yes, yes. What were you going to say? I think a little bit of an explanation.
So basically 1 to 49 is for all types of backs in college football. Okay.
Whereas anything above that is linemen. Guards have to go like 50.
Okay, players who wear numbers from 50 to 79 are by rule prohibited from catching or touching forward passes. That's one of the only rules.
Very cool. Nice, Billy.

Good job.

All right, let's finish up with Who's Back.

Hank, you want to go Who's Back of the Week?

Sure.

My Who's Back of the Week is MLB Hall of Fame voters just making everything about themselves.

Oh, yeah.

Who else is it about?

Well, exactly.

So this guy, David Scretta.

These are your people, Jake.

David Scretta, first-time voter, submitted a blank ballot. Yes.
Completely blank. I love it.
And in his email, he wrote, Those that I believe performed at a Hall of Fame level on the field did not reach that threshold in such areas as character and integrity. Every player that was a Hall of Famer in terms of their career did not meet.
What are his off-the that he's using did he publicize those but i also don't i mean besides like steroids and gambling when has that been a factor in hall of fame voting that's a good point i mean ty cobb is in the hall of fame exactly i but besides like i don't know well sho He was gambling. Right.
Oh, you're saying anything else? Yeah. Hmm.
Dan Heron should get the vote. Dan Heron should be the only person.
Oh, good job with your Dan Heron presentation, Billy. I got that number fact wrong.
Okay. All right, great.
Okay. You sounded confident when you said that.
Yeah, good job. I believed it.
By the way, one of our who's back just as a team is billy because we some of us hank uh jake and billy were traveling a little very safe not shaming they were traveling and we just said hey when you come back get a get a cocoa test uh and hank and jake immediately were like yes on it and billy said i actually will this time, meaning he has definitely not the previous times

we've asked him to get one. I've never been in an at-risk

situation. We did not know that Billy

had never received a test. But you have told us you had got one.

You told us you've been negative before.

In fact, Billy sent a screenshot

of one of his tests to us. God knows

where he got that from. I actually will

this time. Alright, PFT, what's your

who's back? My who's back

of the week? Actually, we discussed a little bit. It's just the state

of Ohio in general. The state of Ohio is

back big time. This is your week.
Congratulations

is This time. All right, PFT, what's your who's back? My who's back of the week.
Actually, we discussed a little bit.

It's just the state of Ohio in general.

The state of Ohio is back big time.

This is your week.

Congratulations, Ohio, because who knows what's going to happen next week.

You got the Browns at the Steelers, and then you have Ohio State against Alabama.

Might just be a one-week run for you, but you know what?

You'll always have this one week, and it's pretty impressive.

I loved having Jim Nance call a game in Ohio tony romo conveniently came down with the coronavirus to avoid traveling to ohio which he hates to do jim nance there's just i know he's got like some relatives or some like family history in ohio you can just hear the disdain in his in his voice yes like jim nance is not a man who enjoys being inside anywhere that doesn't have like either a golf course immediately on the property or an ocean cliffside within 15 miles nearby. Yes.
Yes. I'm excited for the Browns.
Fuck. I'm so excited for the Browns.
All right. My who's back of the week is the Internet being the worst.
Guess what? It's 2021 and the Internet hasn't changed. Beans guy.
Beans dad. Beans dad got canceled.
Who's Beans dad? Beans dad. For people who don't live uh your life on twitter first of all great choice good choice you probably have an unbelievable life anyway uh this guy who i think hosts a podcast with ken jennings tweeted a long thread about how his nine-year-old daughter uh asked said i'm hungry so that off the bat there's a chance that it's all satire could be could absolutely be i didn't know that yeah that makes me seem like if it's if he's there was podcast with a comedy writer right there was definitely some embellishment uh but anyway he was like i was doing a jigsaw puzzle and my nine-year-old daughter was like daddy i'm hungry uh i want some beans and he basically then went on a thread on a thread saying he told her she needs to figure out how to use a can opener.
And she went six hours without eating. Everyone was claiming child abuse.
The internet sucks. And then they found his old tweets.
And I will now disavow Bean's dad, but really disavow the entire internet for being the worst. I'm disavowing Big Cat for not taking the time to do an advanced Twitter search.

Tell the guy who tweeted you.

So I got a DM from somebody.

Yeah, wait, hold on.

Let me first say, so I started the morning and I was like,

I got no problem with Bean's dad because I'm, as a father, I'll pull that card.

I think telling other people how to parent their children is the lamest thing you can do. Well, no disrespect to families, but you need to feed your kid more often than once every six hours.
I'm told from television. Maybe America is the most obese country in the world when six hours of not eating is considered child abuse.
So Big Cat went out there and made himself a bean dad stand. I was like, hey, he's a nerd, not a dork, a nerd.
So then I being like care to comment for your uh racist or for for your co-host standing up for a racist misogynist anti-semite and i was like excuse me and i saw a link to a tweet and it was uh some of bean dad's old tweets that use some offensive language and then i was like wait so now now i have to disavow big cat so i'm which i'm doing so right now you. I disavow Big Cat for you not having the presence of mind to do an advanced Twitter search with the N-word, the word Jews, and the word rape for this guy's mentions going back all the way to 2010.
You should do that. Every time.
Before you take a stand on the internet, make sure you do that search for anyone. The internet fucking sucks.
I can't wait for the day where i can just it's goodwill hunting no goodbye no see you later just gone i have i have to take a lot of credit for my own brain when i woke up this morning and i saw that the internet was trending about a 28 thread tweet thing about a guy that didn't feed his daughter beans and i opted out i said you know what it's uh it's a playoff day for the Washington football team. That's rat poison.
I can't afford to waste any mental capital. I like how that, yeah, that's all I'm going to say about that.
I won't go any further down the rabbit hole. I'll disavow his old tweets, but to me it's just so funny because I just saw a bunch of people's replies.
None of these people are parents because a nine-year-old can, get their own snack and two fucking YouTube how to use a can opener. There will be at least three thought pieces on beans on beans dad within the next two days on the internet.
If I know the internet, I think that I do. Yep.
Look for that on BuzzFeed. Why beans.
Why bean dad tells us more about ourselves than anyone else. All right.
Wrap it up. Billy.
Who's back? Buzz week? BuzzFeed should absolutely do a quiz. Like, what kind of bean are you, dad? Like, for dads.
Ten times you were beans, dad. Also.
It just shows a picture of you personally being racist. A slideshow of starving children that would have loved those beans.
Jumps through January is casual this year. Casual.
Casual jumps through January. Show day, mandatory.
Every other day, casual. Because it's a mindset it's about uh being comfortable in whatever you want to wear i did spend six hundred dollars on historical jumpsuits well that was that was my biggest problem is every year i bought jumpsuits that i then had to give away and i was like i don't have any jumpsuits i can't go through all this again but i will be wearing them every show day that was just for me though like i don't i don't blame you guys for not getting on.
I'm wearing one right now. I saw a Marie Antoinette jumpsuit, and I was like, I got a bite.
Got a bite. All right, Billy, wrap it up.
Form tackling. Yeah.
Are we going to discuss that? Yeah, dude. That had people hot.
I had to mute my own tweet because people were going fucking crazy. I was in the trenches on Twitter.
Yeah, I loved it. Fighting about it.
So, if you didn't know, Skalski, James Skalski, made an awesome tackle on Justin Fields. He broke Justin Fields' body.
They tell quarterbacks, don't run recklessly because if you get hurt, it's bad for the whole team. And you have Justin Fields spinning into a guy and getting his ass handed to him.
It is. How it should happen.
Billy, you are right in the fact that quarterbacks are the only guys on the field that have a tool to keep themselves safe by sliding. So when you spin last second and you get hurt, it's like, well, you could have slid.
I think that actually watching all this football and all the instant replays in a football game in slow-mo has done for football viewers what hardcore pornography has done to sex havers. It's to sensitize you from the real contact parts of the game where, yeah, if you're Skalski, probably don't duck your head down all the way and lead with a crown of the head.
See what you hit, yeah. That's for yourself.
And that's easier said than done, too. But don't bend your head down all the way like that.
But at the same time, if you're playing the game in real time, Justin Fields just straight up spun into your head. And they were going a million miles an hour, and he was trying to tackle him with his shoulder and end up with his head.
He would have just wrapped up his legs, but Justin Fields was spun. I agree.
And then hit the crown of his helmet. The minute you slow it down to a million frames a second, and you're like, well, this is exactly you you can't watch these replays and intent should matter if a guy headhunts if a guy's vontaze perfect headhunting over the middle yes kick him out but when it's clear that scousey wasn't trying to do that it should be cards i actually threw out mike greenberg's dumb rules it should be if you if a guy gets uh called targeting, the coach gets to decide either give the other team three points or you give the other team three points and he can stay in or he's ejected.
I like that. So then you end up having a list.
Your coach now has another card that's like, who's actually worth three points. Oh, I like that he's got that on the other wristband.
And then the walk to the locker room when your coach basically says, you're not worth three points, see ya, would be great. I was saying that the player that committed the targeting should have an opportunity to apologize to the player that he targeted.
And then if the player that got hit by the targeting wanted to accept the apology, then the guy could come back in the game maybe a couple plays later. Maybe like sit one or two out.
But if he explains what he did wrong does like a maybe a slideshow type thing like what billy had has done first in the past if he's able to like articulate here's what i did wrong and here's what i've learned from the situation right boom get him back in and and it also is like almost always we're just playing the results if a guy's down injured yep it's like okay well that's targeting like if if justin fields pops back up i guarantee you that play doesn't get get called targeting I would also I would love to have the coaches be responsible for accepting the apologies or not because then you would see because there would be some coaches that would always accept the apology and be like that kid's a good kid you know what he's got a good future he's an outstanding young man Dabo would never but he would always expect the other you got? Well, I just hate how when defensive players get shaken up on a hit and then they get hit for targeting, like, you know, it was just a collision. It's no one's fault.
Right. It's true.
It's football. It's discrimination against defensive players, Billy.
Exactly. All right.
Give me an eight. Give me an eight.
Eighteen. First of the year.
Let's go go By the way Shout out to Liam

For getting it

When it was only

Three of us here

And I shouldn't have

Said that before

No

Believe us

But he absolutely

Got it

If I wasn't editing

I was

If I

I would have thought

It was fake

If you listened

Right

But you saw it

I saw

Yeah I saw

There was no cuts

Right

Alright

100

4

35

8

JJ Redick

83

What do you got Jake

18

Yeah 18

What do you have

Thank you. Alright, 100.
4. 35.
8. JJ Redick.
83. What do you got, Jake? 18? Yeah, 18.
What do you have, Hank? 4. JJ.
Redick. 35.
Oh, good. Talk about it.
87. 87.
Alright. Shout out, Gronk.
Shout out, Gronk. What a dude.
What's your fact? You didn't have one. No, I do.
I do.

On every new year.

What?

We've got two weeks.

No.