Mark Cuban, Tuesday Night Football, Taylor Lewan & Will Compton And More

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I mean, where else can you pair wall-to-wall hoops with hard-to-find whiskey? Only at Twin Peaks, the number one sports bar. On today's part of my take, we have Mark Cuban.
Recurring guest Mark Cuban on the show. We also have a recap of Monday Night Football.
Recap of Tuesday Night Football, which is still going on right now. We're rooting for the over.
There's three minutes left in the game. We're going to talk Le'Veon Bell.
We're going to talk Hotsy Cool Throne. We're going to

do Guys on Chicks. We're going to have a great

Wednesday show. Feel good

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No place to hang out, no washing, and then I can't lay all on the sun, oh no.

We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue, and then we'll take it higher.

Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric too much time They can't run it out. Bills are without timeouts right now.
We've got the 2 minute warning. Crunch the match.
Do the fucking match. 40 seconds on the play clock.
No offense PFT but I don't trust either of our math brains. No, that's fine.
We're not a math brain right now. We're an optimist brain.
Remember the Peloton thing? Multiply by 10. Jake is our math guy.
We got this. I still don't believe Jake either.
We need someone smarter than Jake. It's 160 seconds.
I trust Billy. Billy, good call.
Two minutes. Yes, Billy.
Good job. And 40 seconds.
All right, so we're watching Tuesday Night Football. How many months is it? If I'm thinking of pregnancy terms here.
Oh, fuck. This is, we've got like a, yeah, it's one 156th of a trimester left.
But you know what they're going to do? They're not going to kick the field goal if they don't score a touchdown. God damn it.
Yeah, I know they can run it right now. That's exactly what's going to happen.
They're not going to go, they're not going to kick a field goal. Yeah, they will.
They're not going to kick a field goal. Yeah, Vrabel wants to test Gostkowski.

If Mike Vrabel doesn't get this over.

He does hate kickers.

He's on my shit list.

Okay.

It is Tuesday Night Football.

Tuesday Night Football.

You want to start with that?

Yeah, we're watching Tuesday Night Football.

I'm enjoying it.

It's bonus football.

Yeah, the Tennessee Titans need some respect, not for their handling of COVID,

but for their playing of football because they were fantastic tonight. They looked awesome.
Ryan Tannehill. It's still Ryan Tannehill season.
If you put all his stats together, I'm sure. Oh, Tannehill.
He also – oh, that was so far past the line. So far past the line.
Ryan Tannehill, as I'm complimenting him, runs three yards past the line and tries to throw a touchdown. He does what Ryan Fitzpatrick threatens to do on every single play.
They're not going to give this to him. They're going to review it.
I mean, he was so far past the line. There's no flag yet.
It was comical. There's no flag.
It was comical how far past the line he was. He was a solid four yards past the line, and they're going to review it, and they're going to turn it back, and we're fucked.
They're going to break our hearts. But it is football on a Tuesday night, which we're not used to.
It's football on a Tuesday night. I love it.
It's the amoeba scheduling of the NFL. So they pushed the Bills back.
Wait, no, no, no. It has to be the whole body.
Yeah, look, his foot. He was five yards past the line.
No, he wasn't. His foot was on the seven.
The thing was on the seven. What about his hand? Where was his hand? We forget Billy knows football better than we do based off last week.
That's not where the line was. Do you see where the second down is? I'm running with Billy.
All right, Billy. We'll ride with you.
I'm done being on the wrong side of history. All right, so we're watching.
So Ryan Tannehill's been fantastic. The Titans looked awesome.
The Bills, they're still a good team but not their night. I think I just blame it on body clock.
Yeah. No, absolutely.
Josh Allen is Mr. Sunday.
You can't expect it. You know, we talked with Warren Sharp about circadian rhythms.
He's brought that up several times. I don't know what it means, but I think this is on the cicadas.
Yes, this is absolutely on the cicadas. 18 years.
It also, Josh Allen, update on his interceptions. One was off his teammates' hands, not his fault.
The other, he made the tackle, so that negates the interception. Still at zero.
Still at zero. Also, the mustache is looking sharp on Josh Allen.
Have you seen that? I think that might be like an anti-COVID thing. Yeah.
Where it's like flypaper, so the COVID all goes to that mustache. Doesn't go in his nose or in his mouth.
That's smart. He's keeping himself healthy.
That's smart. He looks like – you know what I like about it, actually? Since he's so tall, I always like it when a tall person has something on their person that can let me know when I look at them that they're not an NBA player if I see them in public.
Got it. Because when you see guys like 6'6", your first question is like, wow, is he in the NBA? Yeah.
With Josh Allen, if you have that mustache, nope, definitely not. Definitely not.
He wasn't great, okay? You know what? We're Josh Allen defenders. We love Josh Allen.
We will admit when he's not playing great. He didn't play great tonight.
I actually have to say, though, the Bills defense, they got to be a little concerned because they have not been looking like the Bills defense of last year where they were one of the best units in the NFL.

They look a little...

They look flat tonight.

A little weak. No teeth.

Banged up.

Yeah, banged up.

They also don't have the luxury of having two weeks off like the Titans.

Josh Norman should retire after Derrick Henry.

That was...

I think you just ole Derrick Henry in the open field.

What's the point?

It's either going to be embarrassing or super embarrassing.

Those are the only two options.

I wish we could. Derrick Henry, that was – I think you just ole Derrick Henry in the open field.

Like, what's the point? It's either going to be embarrassing or super embarrassing. Those are the only two options.
You should be allowed to have a knife. Call stands.
There you go, Billy. Touchdown, there's the over.
There we go. The line was in the wrong place.
Yeah, okay. The blue line's not official.
That blue line fucked us up. But, yeah, Josh Norman, not a good look.
He went beyond horizontal. And Derrick Henry has a tendency to do this to people.
He did it to that guy in college where he made him flip backwards and do a 360. Yep.
And Derrick Henry's stiff arms are hilarious, not because they're just so powerful and he puts you into the earth. He does the Kill Bill, the five-finger death punch on you.
He taps you with his fingertips, and then your heart stops immediately, and you go limp, you go flying. It's a full punch.
Josh Norman, it's going to be tough to go back and watch that film. Good news is Josh Norman, I don't think really, he hasn't cared about playing football in a while.
Correct. I mean, he signed with the Washington football team.
Yeah, I think that's long past. I call him Josh Mormon.
There you go. Because he's going to need a soak after that one.
You know what? That was good. 2-8.
2-8. 2-8.
2-8 for boobs. But yeah, so the Titans, I'm going to give the Titans credit.
I think we got to do like power rankings of angriest fans on Twitter for NFL teams. it's usually the teams that are not like, you know, premier teams, not like number one market teams, and they just constantly feel disrespected.
I think Titan fans are slowly getting into that realm. They are.
Ever since they got the internet in Tennessee, they're starting to get very vocal online. They're not going to be mad because they can't hear this right now.
They don't have podcasts. I love the city of Nashville.
Nashville is very fun. I would say...
Those twins that are on Broadway all the time? The Jaguars. Jaguars Twitter can get very mean.
They haven't been good for a while. They're starting to enter the realm where they've kind of accepted who they are.
Texans Twitter. Texans Twitter is very upset.
It gets very upset. Bill's Twitter actually is up there see we're on the right side of bill's twitter but if you're on the wrong side of bill's twitter i think they're very aggressive thank god we're on the right side i don't want to be on the wrong seahawks twitter yeah they will swarm yes oh yeah if you tell them russ isn't a great cook if you make like a uh diss track against dk metcalf a lot of people take it out of context and then come at you is there context yeah there's context that's a contextless track DK and I just it was fantastic DK and I would just like we like facing off against each other iron sharpens iron how what are people saying it's one of those things where it's like what's the context like well can't really explain it well the entire context is we are both very mean to each other yeah but we both like it when people are mean to us.
Right, right, exactly. So that was this game.
I apologize to the Titans for doubting them. Jay Feely, terrible, by the way.
Hate him. As a kicker.
No, and as an announcer. As both, yeah.
Two gloves when he kicked. People forget Jay Feely had that tweet.
He had two tweets. One was the classic holding a gun to his daughter's date.
He was the original gun girl. Yeah, he is the gun girl.
We should call him Jay Feeley the gun girl. And then when he responded to someone saying, I don't play video games, I play real life.
That's a good one. That's very good.
Jay Feeley. And he wore fucking gloves as a kicker, like PFT said.
I feel like CBS should have just made the sacrifice and send one of the A or B or C team for this game. Or just have them sit in a studio.
Like, keep Nance and Romo in Dallas and have them sit together on a fucking Zoom call so we don't have to listen to Jay Feely. No offense, but Jay Feely, you're a fucking kicker, dude.
Josh Norman gets stiff-armed through the crust of the earth and Tony Romo's like, I think it's just a cramp. Yeah.
No, actually, that was a good tackle by Josh Norman. Yeah, great job.
Yeah. I was thinking with Tuesday night football, it's weird.
I like it, but it's bonus football. If a weekend of NFL action is like going to a really fancy wedding, you've got your cocktail hour on Thursday night.
You've got your bread on saturday night sometimes you've got your main courses on sunday yeah then the like champagne toast on monday this is like the pizza that you pick up on the way home because the food was really good but the portions were too small almost picked yes i like that where uh or they you know they order uh mcdonald's for everyone yeah as the lights come on. Yeah.
And so your date has her flip-flops in her hands and a double bacon cheese in the other hand. Everybody's saying outside holding the sparklers, you're over a house and quarter pounder with cheeses.
You're putting chicken nuggets into your pockets. Yes, exactly.
That is Tuesday Night Football. It would be kind of nice if the NFL did a surprise game.
just didn't tell us at all maybe like a friday afternoon game and it's like a beyonce album drop yeah they don't need to advertise it so if the nfl told you at high noon on friday guess what we've got the cardinals and the rams tonight playing tonight everybody rushes their tv yes yes i also i'm not trying to neg the bills here but uh shoot, and the best way to get back on track is to get back on the field, maybe play Thursday Night Football against the Chiefs. Yeah.
Why not? Why not? Why not? No, but so the Bills get their first loss. The Titans continue to be 4-0, and my apologies to the boys.
Busting with the boys, Taylor Luan and Will Compton, who we who we love i doubted them but some may say my doubt is what fueled them so you're welcome and mike fraibook who we love as well and we know he would have kicked a field goal for us if he needed to yeah he knew he would have done that um all right monday night football justin air bear uh played well the chargers someone i said it on twitter and it's it's so fucking true that the chargers are the Seahawks. They just lose at the end.
I said on Twitter that they're the Seahawks with a landlord. Yeah.
So they are the JV low rent version of what the Seahawks are. They play weird games.
They're always in it till the end. But they, yeah, they're just always on the losing end of those really weird, strange fourth quarters.
They invent ways to lose. And Mike Williams and the Chargers and Justin Hebert, which I think I'm going to now call him that just because I think he – I like him more that way.
Well, yeah. I think I mispronounced his name like seven times.
It's Herbert, but it's Hebert. Yeah, it's Hebert.
Played well. And then Drew Brees.
So I'm sticking with my Drew Breesrees is washed he had that throw where the guy was wide open credit to him won the game so here's what I'm going to do when I say Drew Brees is washed he can still be an average quarterback I'm not saying that he's like terrible terrible terrible what I'm saying is they have a Super Bowl roster and Drew Brees is probably going to be the thing that holds them back when they get in a playoff game against a pass rush, and everything isn't as easy, and Drew Brees can't throw it downfield. I would say that and also their defense.
Yeah, they had some injuries. They've got to get some guys back.
Ryan Clark made the analogy to the Broncos from 2015, where they had Peyton Manning, who essentially had one leg and then half of an arm and then a wife really jacked up on steroids and then they somehow got to the Super Bowl because they had that awesome defense incredible defense the the Saints don't have an incredible defense they have like an above average defense when everybody's healthy yeah they don't have the dome they don't have the noise and but I think that Drew Brees is better right now than Peyton Manning was in the 2015 season. Agreed.
It's just very funny watching Drew Brees trying to throw screen passes like he used to throw those deep balls. Right.
Like he has to cock back now for a three-yard pass to Alvin Kamara. Right.
Right. Yeah, he really has to put everything into it.
And again, when I say washed, it's relative because Drew Brees is a Hall of Famer. So he's not a Hall of Fame.

He's not playing at the level of a Hall of Famer anymore.

It's not washed like Drew Brees is terrible and the worst ever.

He has a level that he played at his entire career.

He's no longer at that level. So what I'm going to do is if the New Orleans Saints get to the Super Bowl,

I will tattoo the final number of Drew

Brees touchdowns for his career somewhere in my arm.

Okay.

There it is.

Well, you can't do it right now.

No, I know.

He'll probably play five more years, but I will do it.

He might retire after this year.

And then his daughter's initials.

If he gets to the Super Bowl, he might.

So he can give her some credit, too.

So he will get that.

I hope it's not 666.

That would be tough would imagine if that happened

what if it's 420 that'd be sweet i think he's at like 555 or something so i'm gonna do it was what if it was 58,005 and then when you looked at it upside down you got a boner because oh so you want me to do yards yards yeah that'd be good too okay 556 556 yeah and yards or tds yards would probably be five digits. Yeah, no, of course.
Yeah, also, Scorigami, 42-16. Wow.
Jake loves the Scorigamis. How has that never happened? That seems like it definitely should have happened.
Okay. So that's going to be it.
I'll do that. Okay.
Yeah, I don't think they're going to get to the Super Bowl. I don't think so either.
All right, so when you come at me on Twitter, just know that I don't think they're going to get to the Super Bowl. Now what happens if Jameis takes over and then they get to the Super Bowl with Jameis, win the Super Bowl with Jameis? It doesn't count.
You got to get an eye chart tattooed on your arm. Yeah.
It doesn't count. If Jameis wins it, no.
If Jameis wins the Super Bowl, I'll get Jameis' face tattooed on my arm. Okay.
Fair. Right? Yeah.
And if Taysom Hill wins the Super Bowl, nothing. Taysom Hill, he was very funny when he got in the game last night because he was put in, in passing situations sometimes, it would be like third and eight.
And you know the entire time that Taysom is not, under any circumstances, going to throw the ball. He's going to take it, look at one guy, and then run directly in the straightest line possible and get that first down.
I love the back and forth because you know that it's gotten to the point where he was a change of pace guy. Now they're putting him in in situations where you would absolutely rather have a passer in the game to get a first down, and he's running for first downs.
So that should tell you, like if you are sitting here and saying Drew Brees is still the same or is not taking a step back, just

notice how much Sean Payton is now

using Taysom Hill. It feels like

it's just increasing, increasing, increasing.

I think that's smart because

again, the Saints roster

overall is a Super Bowl

caliber roster. I just don't think

that Drew Brees is good enough

to get them to a Super Bowl. I agree.

That's Saints-Chargers and then Le'Veon Bell. Can we respect Justin Hebert or Hebert as you call him, Justin Herbert? He is, I don't want to take full credit for it.
He passed my eyeball test right off the bat. Big Cat was an early hater of his, but I think Big Cat's seeing the light right now.
The Rose Bowl. My only concern is he might be becoming too humble now because he's taking some humbling losses some losses where he thought that he might pull out with a win where he's learning how hard this league is but he's learning it in a very difficult way i don't want him to become too humble yeah he was the exact right amount of humble moxie uh poised professional he was a pros pro he was a precocious rookie uhcious rookie.
I like the Justin Herbert that I saw in the first few games. I don't want him to lose that edge.
I think he needs to, I think the Chargers need to, like, sacrifice, like they need to get, like, a Philip Rivers voodoo doll or something. Because these are Philip Rivers losses.
You know, like doinking one, being up 20 to three. Philip Rivers still is on the Chargers.
Instead of the Brazilian soccer coach where they say no sex for a month, sex with condoms only for a month to get all the Philip Rivers out of your system as a franchise. His soul haunts that franchise right now because these losses are hilarious.
All right, so the other news was Le'Veon Bell got cut. The Jets.
Now, what I don't understand is how Adam Gase is still the coach. And this is weirdly.
I think he's going to get fired, obviously. Which makes it really strange that they would cut Le'Veon.
But they made a choice today between Le'Veon Bell and Adam Gase. And they chose Gase.
Sort of. Because, remember, Joe Douglas didn't choose either of them.
Right. Which is the most Jets thing ever.
That your GM didn't choose the coach or the running back they paid all that money to. So maybe it's like giving Adam Gase – maybe after Adam Gase said – I think he was quoted saying, like, I'll try anything.
I'll stop calling plays. I'll stop coming to practice.
I'll move out of my office. He'll do anything.
Maybe Joe Douglas is like, hey, we're paying him let's cut levy on bell to hopefully get adam gaze to maybe coach the team for a couple more weeks because it seems like adam gaze is almost taking our advice of just stop coaching yeah but that quote was hilarious but you'd rather have that than adam gaze going hands-on i don't know they're gonna lose anyway he also said he was going to give up play calling duties this week. Yeah.
He was giving up everything. Yeah.
Yeah. So he's just showing up.
Everything. Everything.
And Le'Veon Bell. Drinking scotch and Splenda in the office.
What an illustrious career with the Jets. Who would have ever thought that his time with the Jets, after tweeting out that the Jets don't have enough money to pay him to go to New York and play there, who would have ever thought that would not have worked out? So there was some confusion afterwards whether or not he was going to hit waivers or whether he would be a free agent.
I think we figured out that he would be a free agent, although it would have been funny if the Jets had cut him. And then since the Jets would have been first in line with waivers, they reclaimed him just to teach him a lesson.
I think I'm probably dead wrong about this, but I think what happens is he might go to waivers, but no one's going to pick up that claim because his contract is ludicrous or he might just become a total free agent and be free to sign wherever he wants to yes in which case i think we can all agree he's probably going to go to the patriots because that's what always happens but we all want him to go to the steelers because that would be hilarious yes go to steal and i'd be happy with him coming to the bears and matt nagy not giving him any carries. That would be fun too.
Where else could he go? He could go to, if you're a free agent running back who has his eyes set on a rap career. By the way, we didn't even mention...
Rams. The Rams would be good.
We didn't even mention the fact that the Jets cut him like almost in a, we're proving a point, but the point is totally lost because that is the nicest thing you can do to someone is cut them from the Jets. Yes.
And let them be free. We'll show you.
Yeah. You don't have to play for this own five dumpster fire.
Yeah. You don't have to take handoffs from Joe Flacco and Sam Darnold.
This also means Frank Gore will probably get a thousand yards this year. Well, he's, he's on the Jets.
Yes. You're goddamn right he will.
And his next contract will probably be bigger than Le'Veon Bell's. Yes.
All right. Other teams.
I'm trying to think. Vikings, depending on Dalvin Cook's injury.
Yeah, depending on Dalvin Cook. I hope he announces it in a mixtape again.
I hope he puts out a full album, and you have to listen to the last lyric on every single track to piece together where he's going to go next. I have one that's spicy.
That was the best, by the way, when Pete Prisco was staying up till midnight listening to Le'Veon Bill's mixtape, trying to figure out via his rap songs where he was going to go. Right, right.
I have one that's spicy. Do we know the status of Nick Chubb's injury?

Ooh, no.

I don't know it.

It's supposed to be four to six weeks.

The Browns being like, hey, we're just going to have all the running backs

and just run it every single play.

I actually wouldn't hate that.

Le'Veon Bell, Beckham on the same team.

Le'Veon Jarvis, Beckham, Kareem Hunt. Dream team.
Absolute dream team. Or the Bucs.
What about the Bucs? Yeah, although Rojo is pretty good, and they have Leonard Fournette too. Bruce Arians used to coach them, right? Yeah, at a time, I believe.
Yeah, so they've got Shady McCoy. Probably not.
Spoiler alert, Shady. They'd probably cut you, and then Bell would come in there.
That's my computer somehow. It's making noise noise i don't know where the texans could pick him up and just play him at wide receiver yes they need someone uh or the eagles yeah or maybe the giants because they don't have a running back that'd be nice that would be funny just move across the street uh or across the locker room so that's that what else we got oh the braves are the best team time.
We should at least mention the Braves. I love just tweeting the Tiger Woods Braves hat meme because that's Braves Twitter.
They tweet it. We were talking about the most aggro fan bases.
There's something also about fan bases on Twitter that are really good collectively. They all get get behind something and they make themselves bigger than they

are.

And that's the Braves Twitter.

Like Braves Twitter.

If you've ever gotten tangled up with them,

I remember the Braves played the Cubs in a random series in the middle of the

summer,

like two years ago.

And all my mentions were just Tiger Woods Braves hat.

And I was like,

you know what?

Tip of the cap,

because there's probably only about seven of you here,

but you make yourself seem like they're 700.

Do you think Tiger Woods remembers that picture?

I don't know maybe it's not it's that that specific one looks very photoshopped i don't know there is i think an old one of him wearing a braves jersey though and uh and uh looking like he's about to bat yeah that one definitely is well i guess if he was growing up in florida there were no marlins at the time yeah someone dug up a real photo of tiger woods so yeah that one's very 100 photoshopped but there is a real photo of tiger woods in a braves uniform and that also might be photoshopped you can never know uh so and then the, the Astros, who cares? Well, we're rooting for the Astros. I want Astros, Dodgers, and the World Series.
I'm just, we were talking about it before, but the Rays somehow have collected every single, like, 6'4", skinny white dude for their pitching rotation, and they all throw gas. And then they bring in a closer that's like a little chunky boy and it's awesome yeah i think like in their uh in their minor league system they don't bother teaching you the intricacies of pitching they don't bother like conditioning arms to last for a while they're like we're the rays we have the only way that we win is to have lightning in a bottle right so we just want people to go out there and be able to throw 97 miles an hour.
Right. For a season.
It doesn't matter what happens after that. We'll figure it all out later.
All right. Let's get to – let's do our hot seat cool throne.
Want to do hot seat cool throne? Let's do some hot seat cool throne. Hot seat.
Oh, we called it, by the way, Raheem Morris. Yes.
Head coach. Interim head coach.
And the guy we were talking about, defensive coordinator. Mm-hmm.
Olbrich. And so they're starting to release who they're going to be looking at.
I don't know if these are inside reports or not. They said Byron Lefkowitz, which is the obvious first-round pick that fits the culture in Atlanta.
And then Josh McDaniels is another big one that they're looking at. Which, if you're a Falcons fan, do you even want a living, breathing reminder of the 28-3 Super Bowl on the sidelines for the entire season? I mean,, you would definitely want Kyle Shannon if he'd come back.
Would you? Yeah. If you're a Falcons fan.
Yeah. He made, he made Matt Ryan an MVP, but still, yes, absolutely.
Offer Arthur blank, offer him everything. Be like, come right the wrong, make a trade.
Yeah. Make a trade.
You have a lot of first round picks. All right.
Hot seat. Cool.
Throw thrown this week is brought to you by Bud Light Seltzer on the hot seat this week is Billy uh for his speed ad read you got to do the speed ad read again reminder Bud Light Seltzer has three new flavors available in their remix variety pack grapefruit pineapple cranberry order yours now at Bud Light dot com slash delivery and get delivered right to your door that's budlight.com slash delivery budlight.com slash delivery Billy do this real quick Bud Light Seltzer is five times filtered for a clean finish with no aftertaste all with 100 calories, 1 gram sugar 5% alcohol, the perfect drink to kick back with during the games featuring classic flavors like black cherry or mango but also new favorites like cranberry and pineapple. Grab yours today and sit back while sipping some sparkling hard seltzer.
Good job, Billy. Billy can read.
Billy can read. Tune in, by the way.
I did some math earlier. What are you going to do? No, it's a snap.
Give me the snaps. Yeah, it's good snaps.
Billy's about to get to cubes. This might be Billy's last episode.
Why? Oh, yeah, that's true. Mark Cuban might hire him.
He did such a good job with his pitch to Mark Cuban if today was opposite day. All right, Hank.
Hank, go ahead. Sorry I have aspirations.
My hot seat is PFT's hair. Oh.

PFT's luscious locks.

Pretty much, you know, it's everything to him.

He's dressing up like one of the dude perfect guys this week because he lost a bet.

Mm-hmm.

Put a name on it.

Show some respect.

Purple poser.

Pinky, whatever.

Purple hoser.

Purple poser.

Purple poser.

Purple poser.

I love Hank pretending that he didn't know the purple hoser. Yeah, dude.
We watched the doc. I've seen your search history.
No, I turned it off. Remember? Because it was too emotional.
Because it was too emotional. Yeah, it was very emotional.
And we tweeted a video. And Dude Perfect, the account replied and said, If you're really committed to the purple hoser, you'd shave your head.
Dot, dot, dot. To which PFT replied, I will shave my head if you do a video with Henny's where you all catch an adult live fish out of a wild river with your bare hands.
Hank must also accompany you on the trip and share a king-size hotel bed with the twins. Which, like, we've already established, you know, you guys, for some reason, despite all the evidence presented otherwise.
No evidence. Don't believe that I can catch a bare fish with my hands.
It'd be so easy. And now PFT just...
Hank, you can't skateboard home from work without going to the emergency room. PFT has to shave his head.
Yeah, well, I'm very confident that, number one, you won't be able to catch a fish. The only thing that depends on is Dude Perfect saying yes.
Because if they say yes, me, I'll call Jeff Fisher, we'll get on a plane to Alaska, and I will catch a fish and then leave probably the same day. I also suspect that the twins have night terrors.
So you spending a night sandwich between them. They definitely sleep in matching pajamas, too.
Yeah, absolutely. That'd be fun.
Hank, you would get out of that bed. You know what? It just became a queen-size bed.
Little footies. Downsizing.
I mean, I've been in the same hotel with people with night terrors. I will do that, though.
You're going to shave that hair because of Dew Perfect. I'll shave my hair.
But they have to do all of those things.

All those things.

These are my conditions.

Catching a fish out of water is not a thing.

No, no, no.

That is easy.

You have to sleep in a bed with the twins for two nights.

Guys love twins.

One night.

No.

You got to get there.

You got to get up.

We're not even going to sleep there again.

You're going to Alaska.

And Paris.

It will literally be on the next flight because it will be that easy to catch the fish.

Okay.

I'm sure there's a river at the airport. Why did you say Paris? What'd you say Paris for, Billy? No reason.
I thought Paris was in Alaska. Billy's got frogs on the mind.
Ever since he fingered one to death. Eiffel Tower.
Oh, Billy. Oh, Billy.
That's cute, Billy. Why can't you just let me be quick? Well, no, because we didn't get it.
There's so many layers to your jokes. We would have figured that out eventually.
You're on a dunder level than us. Yeah, I would do that.
I would absolutely shave my hair if it meant that we would get that piece of content out of it and mostly that you would have to spend the night with the twins. And I'd also like for you and the twins to do like a hotel room video of a trick shot in the video with their semen and any orifice of your choosing.
They also have to fight each other. No, I mean, the PFT laid down his rules.
By the way, as long as Dude Perfect's down, I'm down. We said the Braves are never going to lose, and now it's 8-7 in the bottom of the ninth.
Yikes. Okay.
My cool throne is scootering. Yep.
This dude, Taylor Dijon, I don't know how you properly pronounce his name. He is putting out these videos that are going viral all over the place.
This is the guy I retweeted and I said that I would break every bone in my body? Yes. Yeah.
His videos, you know, everyone had a Razor scooter growing up. You probably stopped using it when you were like 12 because you just figured out how to use a bike.
This dude never stopped and is like the greatest Razor scooter of all time. Does the craziest videos I've ever seen.
They're insane. And now he's like the greatest razor scooter of all time does the craziest videos i've ever seen they're insane and now it's like the you know he's like the new uh he's like the new whatever mad face 420 dog whatever that guy you know that guy was last week with fleetwood mac this scooter guy taylor dijon is this week no he's the mad face 420 guy is still around because he did the lakers celebration yeah he is lakers dan yeah but like it's it's you know now he's getting ads it's Like, it's kind of, he's entered that Dan.
Yeah, but now that he's getting ads,

it's kind of he's entered that second dimension

of fame where it's like,

all right, we get it, dude.

How has no one canceled him?

When is the days that we've done

where the guy shows up to the Oscars

and they're like,

well, that guy's actually bad.

Ken Bone.

Oh, he looks at pregnant porn.

Has the internet lost it?

My play is... I think that he is probably a plant.
I think that this is a marketing stunt. Stevie Nicks did have a new song come out.
Yeah, it's a combo stunt done by Fleetwood Mac and... Cranberry juice? Cranberry juice, big cranberry.
And the fact that he has not been canceled, that tells me the tattoo on the side of his face, probably not real. He's probably an actor.
He's probably casted for that. I don't want him to get canceled, but it feels like we've never had a genuinely wholesome story on the Internet in like a decade.
Yeah. I mean, if it was any of us in this room and we got on there, somebody would find something to cancel us.
Exactly. But yeah, he's a little too squeaky.
Three years ago today. Rip.
Actually, no, this was the day we announced PBT. Which was also probably the day.
It was like a week. We got a week.
We got a week of fun. It was a life-changing moment.
Not in the way that I thought it would be at the time. But it actually turned out better.
Yeah. I think people, I think we just say that.
No, I don't really, I don't want to work for ESPN. Yeah, but.
I would for $100 million. If we had been working there for like two years, like it would have been lit.
It taught me a very good lesson though that if. Like it would have been a very successful show.
If people aren't like behind you right away, they're never going to fully be behind you. Remember how hard we had to work to try to get it done? We should have been like, a light bulb should have gone off and like, we've negotiating this for nine months maybe it's not the right move yeah yeah like asking somebody to marry you six times before they say yes like a really good lesson it worked for harbaugh yeah that's true it did work for harbaugh yes and he has like 10 kids so good point uh all right pft uh my hot seat is florida football so just a couple days ago dan mullins was saying we need to have the swamp crowded with people we need to have a big crowd because they saw what a big crowd can do at their last game and a couple days later they've actually suspended all team activities because i guess they have a coronavirus outbreak their only logical conclusion is that dan mullins wife is a super spreader.
And if you kiss one player on the team, next thing you know, the entire roster has coronavirus. That's what I'm thinking happened.
But yeah, that's a tough position for the Florida Gators to be in. And I don't know how the SEC is going to handle flexible scheduling.
I don't know what the fans are going to say. It's going to be a weird position for them

because we don't know how long they're going to be done with playing

when they're going to be cleared to resume team activities.

This is the first real test case that we've seen in major college football

of how they're going to handle this.

But it's not great for the Gators.

Before preseason, LSU already had it.

Right.

By the way, Danny Boykane, who is back on Twitter,

who is going to be off Twitter,

announced at the end of the Miami regular season. He already announced his retirement two months prior.
Again. Again.
Like David Ortiz. Yeah, he got duped by someone saying Dan Mullen's wife was a super spreader.
Oh, really? Yeah, that was bad. Wow.
That's okay. I think it's probably Jim McElwain.
I think that we should let bats off the hot seat. The guy that fucked the shark is probably patient zero on this.
Super spreader would be a great term for an offense, by the way. Counter Mike Leach.
You got the super spread. Cliff Kingsbury's going to do that.
We've got the super spreader offense. Lincoln Riley's working on the super spreader.
My cool throne is Brazil. Brazil, they played in...
Because of the asses? Well, and it's Amazon Day. But they played against Peru in a World Cup qualifier today.
They were tied going into the 83rd minute at two apiece. And then they got two mysterious fake penalty calls where they got to bury two of them.
Neymar did his thing. Love it.
Where he flops around. They ended up winning 4-2.
It would have been Peru's first win because they were winning for a while. I think Peru's first win against Brazil in a qualifying match in like 50 years or something like that.
Speaking of which, do we have an update on Neymar's mom's boyfriend? That's one of the weirdest stories that happened in the last year. Do you guys not remember that story? His mom started dating what I think is a gay guy who is obsessed with Neymar.
Yep. Like Neymar's fanboy, super fan.
They have a lot in common. But the mom is dating him, and he's just doing it to get close to Neymar.
Do we have – do we know, Jake? Look that up. The last oracle I see is from – Oh, wait, hold on.
Yeah, go ahead. Look it up.
Look it up. June 3rd.
I don't know if you guys discussed it before or afterwards. Here we go.
What's this? Wait, hold on. So it's Will Compton and Tara Luan.
Wait, guys, wait. First of all, get six feet apart.
Get six feet apart. Get six feet apart.
There we go. And then people are saying that I motivated you guys to play well.
Hey, Dan, listen. That's the big plan for us not to agree with anything.
I know you want that. Hey, what do we got? Big Cat motivated the boys to play well.
Yes. Yes.
Yes. We just finished taping the beginning of the show, and it was effusive praise for the boys and for the Titans.
You guys played awesome. Did you apologize? I apologize.
You covered the spread, too, which was nice. First time this season you've done that.
We'll shout out Bustin' with the boys right now. Yeah.
I love it. PFT, have ourFT, have our backs.
Quick question for you guys. What high school do you all plan on celebrating this win at? What high school are you going to celebrate this win at? What high school are we going to celebrate this win at? Hey guys, we got a game in what? Four days? Five days? Hey, Dan, check your phone the video I just sent.
Okay. All right, I will.
Good job. Congrats.
And also, thanks for getting the over at the end. Don't stop betting against the boys, Big Cat.
We need you on our show. You guys are one in three against the spread.
Shut up. I can't help it.
You play the spread. Do the pick.
I don't know all the gambling. Do the pick.
Okay. All right.
Good job. Congrats.
But love the background of the bus, too, and the green room. Yes.
Yes. Yes.
All right. Have a good one.
Congrats. I knew I was going to get that.
Damn. All right.
I doubted the boys. Listen, the boys, right now they're number 31 in our power rankings.
They moved up from 32. We stand in solidarity with Doug Farrar.
He had them dead last because of their ability to contain the virus. So now they're above the Jets.
That's it. Yes.
Yes. They're above the Jets.
Respect the boys. Respect the boys.
Also, I think I'm going to start watching the boys' TV show because I see so many people on Twitter talk about it. So the boys are even more on the cool throw.
Oh, the boys. Got it.
Got it. Got it.
Yeah. But do subscribe to Bustin' with the boys.
They are our friends, and they work for Barstool, and we love them.

And we love Vrabel.

We love Vrabel.

Do you have a cool – you had your cool throne.

Yeah, no, my cool throne is tight pants.

Walker Bueller wearing some tight white pants, tighty-whities on the mound.

Went out there, and I guess a lot of people were talking about it.

I'm always confused why baseball players wear pants in general.

Why is that not a short sport? White Sox did one game. Remember they wore the softball shorts.
They should do more of that. There's absolutely no reason to be wearing pants out there if you're a baseball player.
My other cool throne is just retro stuff. Just stuff being retro.
Apple did their big thing today. I don't know what they even call it.
Is it like Apple Con? Is it? Jobs Con. Jobs Con.

And they showed off

their new lines of phones. Also in Brazil.

Also in Brazil, yeah. And one of their

phones is just a retro phone. It's just

like a 2009 model iPhone.

You can now buy to pretend

like it's an old iPhone, but with current

updates on it. So, yeah.

It's probably going to have like an even older U2

album that's already uploaded to it. I think there's

actually, like there's a

new market for phones

I don't know. updates on it so uh yeah it's probably gonna have like an even older u2 album that's already uploaded to it i think there's actually uh like there's a new market for phones that are being sold that can't get on the internet oh like the internet is so addicting people are now

have phones where it's just you you can't do any apps you can't do anything it's just

a good old-fashioned phone it's like nicorette gum yeah of phones yeah it's like you get a nokia

maybe put a little snake and that's it i like that actually no email nothing of that yeah i like it too so yeah retro is back retro clothes are back too always retro yeah that's probably about the limit of it i don't think you'll see many other technology companies no like no plane companies boeing's not going to be introducing like a retro that would be cool a retro spaceship right don't say it. Don't say it, Hank.
I have to. I wasn't going to, but you just brought it up.
I found the tweet from when we announced PVT and I tweeted it and it was like, the Barstool Vantock era is here and someone said that era crashed faster than the Challenger. Frabel, by the way, gave a game ball to everyone in the organization.
I like that. That's the ultimate football guy.
Super spreader. What a fool.
Whoa. That's actually true.
Like, you probably shouldn't be handing stuff out to everybody, right? Like, have you learned nothing, Coach Frabel? All right. My hot seat is us.
We got a lot of shit on uh by the way it was that it was two finals nfl game of the year tonight that's totally random that he said that after uh so we're on the hot seat we had some people who were not so happy that we just ignored the nba finals on sunday night uh even though we told everyone we're to do that. But a lot of people saying we hate LeBron.
So I made a list of things that I think LeBron does well or compliments of LeBron. I'm going to read them off real quick.
He avoids game seven. His daughter hates him so much she moved out already.
There it is. He's tall.
He's in good shape. He makes over half his free throws.
He can dunk. That's cool.
Everyone knows that's cool. For a guy that's balding, it's actually gone pretty slow.
Wouldn't you say LeBron started balding like eight years ago? Yeah, it's been a while. He's hanging on to it.
He's a functional alcoholic, so that's good that he can still do his job. His son is good at basketball.
That's cool. He can live through his son.
He can live vicariously through his son. And everything that he's cool uh he can live through his son he can live vicariously through his son everything that he never attained he can hope that his son jr never loses a championship yeah in the finals uh he's independently wealthy yep um he's a browns fan and the browns are good this year he's also yankees fan he's also yankees not as good and cowboys yeah he's an olympic gold medalist.
And he's the second best player to be born in Akron, Ohio. Behind Steph Curry.
Correct. So that's our compliments of LeBron.
All the people say that we hate. Show me something on that list that is hating.
I do like his tweets this week, though, after he's won the championship. Like every now and again, he'll tweet out, like, i'm a world champion man right now i just realized life is good he's just cheesing so yeah i'll give credit to lebron he did not lose the nba championship this year congratulations on lebron for not losing credit to lebron he did a good job uh while dragich and bam were hurt.
But that – you know what?

Cut that part because that was kind of backhanded.

We're compliments of LeBron podcast now just for this episode.

Hank, say something nice about LeBron for real.

He can dribble through his legs.

All the pictures and videos, I'm happy that Rajon Rondo is getting his praise

and that – like that's somehow kind of Rondo is getting his praise in that.

Like, that's somehow kind of good for LeBron.

Try again. Good for LeBron.
Try again.

For winning the championship. You got this.
Try again.

So he could get Raejean Rondo the praise

he deserves. Try it again.
That's it.

He's a good teammate. Okay.
It was nice of him.

He's the GM. He, you know, traded

away all their young talent. I guess

it was the right move or whatever.

But he also brought in Rondo. So he's a good GM.
I'll say that. He brought in Rachel Rondo.
That was a good move by him. Yep.
He's also very loyal to his scapegoats. So bringing J.R.
Smith in, the meme where he's flipping out on him in Game 1 a while ago, it goes to show you that he understands the value of having somebody around that you can blame if you screw up. Right, right, right.
It's smart to do that. Very smart guy.
It's very true. And then my cool throw is Clayton Kershaw because he had a back spasm, so he can't lose in the playoffs when his back goes out.
Good job by him. Wait, how long is he out for? Just got scratched on today's start.
Okay. Walker Bueller blew that back out with those tight pants.
Yeah, exactly. Can't handle looking at that.
Billy, would you like to go quickly? Hot seat, Tony Dungy for saying that it was a blessing in disguise for Dak Prescott to get hurt. Wait, what was it? What did he say? Tony Dungy got blasted for saying it was a blessing in disguise that Dak Prescott got hurt.
Which is cramped. For the Dallas Cowboys.
Oh, okay. And then Doc Antle got arrested.

So also hot seat in my cool throne is Cranberry Juice

because after the departed,

I thought Cranberry Juice was like for girls

and then it got brought back with the TikTok,

with the Fleetwood Mac guy.

Yep.

Yep.

Good job, Billy.

I like Tony Dungy's name getting brought up.

I feel like it's been a while

since a player has had to rehabilitate their image

by just like accepting a meeting with Tony Dungy.

Yeah.

Because he used to be the one that you would go to.

If you want up at all, you just like sit down with Tony and you do an interview with like Tom Rinaldi or somebody like that and then instantly, boom, you're back. He's back.
You've learned how to move on from your mistakes. Who's going to be the first guy to genuinely say that Andy Dalton is just as good as Dak Prescott? Tony Dungy.
Tony Dungy. Yeah, actually, Tony Dungy.
Probably Stephen A. Skip.
Well, Stephen A hates the Cowboys. Stephen A, Skip.
Albert Breer feels like he might be in the running. I wish we could put a bet out to genuinely say it.
Like, hey, Andy Dalton, he's just as good as Dak. Dan Orlovsky.
Yeah, I could see him doing that. Because Andy Dalton is everything Dan Orlovsky wanted to be.
Right. If he had maximized his talents.
I could see that. I could see that.
Or he won't say that exactly, but he'll say something along the lines of, Andy Dalton, when he's operating at his best, does everything that you need to win an NFL game as good as Dak Prescott, which is a way of saying he's as good. Couching it.
Yes. Yes.
Billy, did you have a cool throw on Billy? Or no, you had a cool throw on. Yeah.
Okay. Good job.
Thanks. Why are you down? I'm not down.
All right. You did a good job.
What are you going to say, Hank? I mean, it's kind of in the same conversation we were just talking about it so i just figured i'd bring it up uh maurice speats nba player he just tweeted this video out that's a meme and he wrote just the messenger dot dot dot and then the meme is a picture of kobe and jordan celebrating and the text on the meme says back then we used to celebrate three peats now kids are out there celebrating four titles in ten tries and call it greatness.

Oh, man.

I'm just the messenger of most peats being the messenger.

Jordan never celebrated a title until he three-peated it.

They didn't celebrate single titles back then. That's true.

That was like a regular season for them.

That's incredible.

Also, is that implying that Michael Jordan's dead?

What?

I thought it was one of those memes where it's like Kobe and MJ were like in MJ. He didn't say Harambe was up there.
Okay. Come on.
Our sweet prince. Gone too soon.
All right. Let's get.
I was going to fact check that real quick. Yeah.
Let's get to our interview with Mark Cuban. Before we do that.
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All right, here he is, Mark Cuban. Okay, we now welcome on recurring guest, friend of the program, new Shark Tank, season 12 is out.
It is Mark Cuban. Thank you for joining us as always.
Where do you want to start? You want to start with the hard questions or the easy ones? I'm good. I'm good.
You go. I'll follow your lead.
You guys are the pros. I know not to interrupt the pros.
Okay. Do you think Luka flops too much? No.
No. He just doesn't flop well enough to get the call.
But he'll get better. He's only had two years.
He'll get better. So, going back, I do actually want to talk about the bubble.
You know, that playoff run that you guys had was incredible because it seems like a team that's on the up and maybe, you know, that series with the Clippers was fantastic. Do you go away? There's no good losses, but do you go away from the playoffs this year being like, man, this is awesome.
Our future couldn't be brighter. Well, I feel a lot better than when we didn't make the playoffs.
I mean, look, who knows what would have happened if we had KP the whole time. I mean, he was killing it, and then losing him those games and then to injury was really tough for us.
But he'll be back stronger than ever. And so, yeah, we've got two cornerstones in KP and Luka.
And from there, we've got a lot of good players around him. You know, a couple pieces.
You know, one more piece gets us to competing for a title just a question of whether or not we can get that player yeah so I mean there is some additional pressure on you now because you know that you have a team that could be good if you make the right move and if you make the wrong move me and big cat are going to crush you for it for the next five years for ruining Lucas prime I'm used to it Remember, we went, you know, 10 years in a row winning 50-plus games.

And, you know, 10 years in a row winning 50 plus games and, you know, making the playoffs every year for 15 years or 16 years. So, you know, we're used to that pressure.
I like it, man, because, you know, the worst pressure is being on the outside looking in and not knowing how you're going to get there. And so I'll take the pressure of having to perform over not being in the playoffs every single time.
Yeah, but now there are these expectations that come with it. People are going to say, like, okay, you need to put a team around those two cornerstones that you have.
Absolutely. How do you go about evaluating, like, okay, this is the right type of person that's going to make them better, that'll take us to a finals and maybe a championship? Yeah, you look at sets obviously I mean Luca is going to going to be able to score he's going to be able to create he's going to be able to get guys shots Luca's the type of player that makes everybody better and KP's the type of player that's always open right he's gonna have a defensive presence but you put him outside you know the three-point line Luca can always get him a shot and KP can always be open, particularly if he's trailing.
Now from there, we just, you know, where we got challenged is defending really good wing players. You know, the LeBrons, the Kawhis, the Paul Georges.
You know, we need to have more depth there to support Dorian Finney-Smith, you know, so we have better defenders that can also score and hit an open three and maybe one more ball shot creator, somebody can create their own shot to take some of the pressure off of Luca. You put, you know, add one or two of those guys.
And I don't even think they need to be a superstar. Just guys who can really play.
I think we'll be in really good shape. That was nice of you to include Paul George in there.
You know, the all-time greats, Kawhi, LeBron, playoff P. It's time for Paul George.
Yeah, Paul George is right around time to switch teams again. True.
So you might be, you know, we're not going to tamper, but, you know, that's smart of you. Where's the company line with ratings? What are we saying about the ratings? Yeah, whatever you want to talk about.
I mean, look, you know, the finals weren't as good as we would have liked them to, but you got to look at all the whole TV spectrum, right? TV ratings are just down across the board. I mean, when you've got a million choices, it's tough.
And two, you know, our biggest fan base comes from Gen Z and younger millennials. They, you know, their biggest fans of our stars, you know, consume more basketball and NBA than any other sport online, but they don't have cable, right? They don't have satellite.
And so they couldn't even get ESPN and TNT. So that's a real problem for us that we've got to figure out.
And plus there was just so many sports. Look, it's not about making excuses.
The reality is this is just a different year. If going forward, we don't rebound, then we can have conversation okay what do we have to do differently but I don't think you can look at the ratings and compare them when you know you look at other sports you know Stanley Cup was down 61 percent the Preakness you know the triple crown the whole triple crown was down huge and nobody's going to sit here and try to tell me horses are woke you know and that's why ratings were down and so you know it's i think it's just an issue that once things get back to their normal time of year then it'll be fine we pointed this out though they've never had a police horse running the kentucky derby so maybe they are getting a little bit woke what's that they've never had a police horse a law enforcement horse you know the horses that you see Central Park? They've never been involved, so maybe it is a woke issue.
Listen, I agree with you in – I think there's – people pick apart ratings all the time, and they try to fit whatever narrative. We are creatures of habit.
So I do agree with you in the fact that, like, I know I love the NBA. I love watching basketball.
But when football's on, I'm watching football. it's hard to compete with it do you have any regrets about your famous uh football comment from 2014 no because it changed you know because yeah i said um hogs get fat pigs get fat hogs get slaughtered and the nfl is going to have trouble i still got about five more years yeah i said 10 to 15 years so five to 10 more, look, versus then, 2016 was the peak of traditional cable and satellite.
And from there, cord cutting is just blown up, right? And not only do people cut the cord, they don't even sign up for cable to get started. And so it's just a completely different media landscape and sports landscape.
So all bets are off. We're going to have to compete.
And it's not like, you're right. If you're more NFL over NBA or vice versa, that's where you're going first.
But literally our biggest competition is Netflix and Amazon Prime and all the streamers because they've got more subscribers. There's more subscribers on Netflix than there are on ESPN.
And so we've got to deal with how are we going to get people to watch on the platforms we're on because we're not on the most popular platforms anymore. That's a challenge.
How does that look for you moving forward into the next season? Because I know that some of the dates are still up in the air. Would it even be a possibility? I mean, as an owner, from a financial standpoint, you do need ticket money coming in at some point to make it a successful business.
Are you guys – is it a total non-starter right now to say, we're going to start the season without fans? I don't know, honestly. I mean, we obviously would like to have fans, and you're seeing it with football.
I think, you know, college basketball might even start before we do or probably will start. So we'll see what happens there.
And, you know, you're seeing things in arenas that have 5,000, 6,000 people. So, you know, if they can do it without people having a problem, I think there's a good chance that we can at least have fans there no matter when we start.
You know, and Adam said, you know, January, February, at the earliest, but hopefully, you know, there's a vaccine that people trust and that gets people out of the house. Because what I do think is that once we get that vaccine and people are confident to go out and not stress, there's going to be a huge bounce back, man.
The snapback is going to be off the charts. I mean, people are going to want to get out.
They're going to want to do things. They're going to want to hang knowing, you know, they're going to take their family members out without stressing.
I mean, Vegas will be the wildest Vegas has ever been. And just watching sports and going to sports would be crazy because i think you know the one thing about going to a game like a mass game

the energy is incredible right and and i and i miss that energy walking into an arena and just

feeling it right and i think that's going to help us in a big way when we can come back and when

people are confident yeah it is the little things that you kind of like when you're watching a movie

and you see in the movie people out at a bar watching a game you're like oh man i forget what

Thank you. we can come back and when people are confident.
Yeah. It is a little things that you kind of like when you're watching a movie and you see in the movie, people out at a bar watching a game, you're like, Oh man, I forget what that feels like.
You kind of just, you didn't even realize how much you've missed on those little things until you see it. What's talked to me about this.
We all getting a thousand bucks. You think we should get a thousand bucks.
You want to give us a thousand bucks? Absolutely, man And so, look, you know, our economy is driven by consumer demand. Two-thirds of the economy is consumer demand.
And so we've got two problems that we need to fill. One, we've got people who can't pay their bills.
And if you can't pay the rent, you can't pay their mortgage, you can't pay for food, you can't pay for, you know, child care, then the economy stops and comes to, you know, really, really declines. And so we start to see that in some communities already.
So the idea of $1,000 stimulus every two weeks is that when people have money to spend, we can boost up the economy and, you know, they pay their mortgages, they pay their rent, they spend it where they need to spend it. Those businesses benefit and that buys us time.

That's not a long-term solution.

I'm not saying you give it every two months,

every two weeks for 20 years,

but if you do it every two weeks for a couple months and you also make it, you have to spend it or lose it,

use it or lose it, that puts money into the economy.

That has a multiplier effect.

That helps businesses grow and it helps us get through this mess and hopefully to the other side. If we don't do it, if we don't have any type of stimulus, you're going to see a lot more people losing their jobs at the lower end.
It's not, you know, you're going to be fine, right? People making 75 grand or more are going to be fine. It's the people that are, you know,

the essential workers that are working in healthcare, that are working in, you know,

lower end sales, they're going to lose their jobs. And we're already starting to see those furloughs.

You're starting to see banks and airlines talk about laying people off. And that's just starting,

right? Because no one thought that we would be, that we would still be in this mess come mid-October, yet here we are. So that's why I thought it was important to put that out there.
And we'll see what they actually do. And hopefully it comes quickly because a lot of people are struggling.
You should just run for president and do the like, you know, those Twitter scams that always people would be like, I got, check out my bank account. I have a hundred thousand dollars.
I'm giving away a thousand dollars to everyone who retweets it. You should do that right hustle for man i'm all about the hustle point tweet me baby yeah money money for everybody yeah yeah all right i actually think getting a little serious here it's important obviously to have a stimulus going because there are already a ton of people that have lost their jobs we're six months in almost seven months into this thing um we need to have seriously like either a complete moratorium or forgiveness on rent for anybody that is going through financial hardship as well as mortgage.
So, you know, obviously you'll hear from landlords saying like, well, if everybody stops paying their rent, then I can't either, you know, my income goes away. Right, and that's why you do it as a stimulus, right? Yeah.
that's why you do it with the checks. Right.
Because if you just do it from the top down and try to get the landlords not, you know, to just let people go on the rent, all the cascading loans and everything that they have creates cascading problems. If you put it, if you put money with the people that have to spend their money, then, you know, the first thing they're going to do is pay their rent.
Right. You know, and then no, they're going to get a check in two more weeks.
And so then they're going to be able to afford the food and the other necessities that they have. And that money then goes to the landlords, which then goes to the banks and follows its way all the way up.
I'm a big believer in bottom-up economics, not top-down. Top-down doesn't work.
Even the democratic version of top-, where you create all these different programs and then have people sign up and then hope the money gets through all the bureaucracy and down to the people who need it. That hardly works, right? But if you get people, if you get money in the hands of people who need it for necessities, and that's why it's a user or loser type thing that, you know, you use it on things you have to spend, that top up is what re-energizes the economy.
And it creates what's called the multiplier effect. So that money goes to your landlord who spends it somewhere else, who spends it somewhere else, and it ends up helping the economy more than doing it from top down.
Bipartisan populism. So even that you're right, even the Democrats, you know, they're claiming that they're the ones that want to spend a shitload of money and give this big stimulus package, essentially.
But they're all about tax credits. And if you're a small business owner, then you get to do X, Y, and Z.
And I think you're right. I think what's important right now is the actual people, the working people that haven't been able to make money, they need a way to get through this.
It should not matter if they're a business owner or not. What tax bracket they fall into should be immaterial to just come bottom up.
Absolutely. Because now, especially like when you look at the actual numbers, the unemployment rate may be like 8.4%, but that's after so many, particularly women have left the economy, right? Because they got to stay home and watch the kids because they can't go to work.
It's because people who are, you know, in essential jobs are getting furloughed or laid off. And the actually I read there's this guy, this Harvard economist named Chetty.
I think his name is C-H-E-T-T-Y or something like that, who basically said if you're making 70, if you were making 75 grand or more, the unemployment rate now is like three point eight percent. If you're underneath that, the unemployment rate is like 16 and a half5%, give or take, right? And so the people that have struggled are struggling more because they're the first ones getting laid off.
They're the first ones that employers think that they can replace or get somebody else to do more of their work. And that's unfortunate.
And that's why, again, I'm a big believer in the stimulus program. And it's really fucked up that the you know, the first stimulus ended, you know, July 31st or whatever it was.
And here we are months later. And there are all these politicians are just bitching and bitching and bitching about what they want and not what the American people need.
So I don't really understand the economy. Maybe you can help me out on this.
If we don't give a stimulus out, what's that money doing? Is it is it sitting around? Is it just like in a big pile somewhere just collecting dust? No, I mean, look, it depends on where it comes from. So one hand, we're borrowing it.
Right. So the money comes from.

So initially we borrow it either from me, you, we borrow it from China, we borrow it from the UK investors around the world who buy our treasury bonds, or we issue it in different ways through the banks. And without going in too much detail, it allows the money to get funded into the system or into the treasury rather, who then can release the checks.
And so it's not effectively printing dollar bills, but it's creating enough money that those checks could be written. Now that turn is debt right so supposedly we have to pay it back but there's this whole thing called modern modern monetary theory that says that there's a certain threshold of debt that you can keep on adding every year to the national debt as long as the economy is growing um perry at the same rate because look you know your own personal finances.
When you were just getting started, all debt was bad debt. And then all of a sudden, having $1,000 in debt was livable because you were making enough and you were bringing in more income.
Then depending on how big you got, you can deal with a bigger mortgage, right? Because you could do it against your house. Well, we already have the Fed who has stated that interest rates are going to be close to zero.
So when we borrow money like that now, the amount of interest we pay is actually less than what we were paying a few years ago. And the question becomes, if you do a stimulus program like this, can you get a better return than the 0.66 or whatever it is, interest rates that we're currently paying.

I think we can.

Now, this is not something you do forever, but in transition from this big mess that we're in,

can we get a better multiplier return

or increase productivity

more than the interest rates we're paying

from people we borrow from?

If the answer is yes, then you do it.

And I, but there's so much dogma, so much dogma. You know, the Republicans are coming out saying, oh, we don't need more debt.
Okay, I can understand the point. The Democrats are saying, okay, we need more, we can spend more, but we need to raise taxes without really saying, okay, how are we going to raise taxes? And where I don't mind paying more taxes.
But I do think the way that even Biden, who I'm going to vote for, is saying that he's going to make the capital gains rate the same as regular income tax rates. If you make over a million dollars, that's a huge mistake because that's going to negatively impact investment and creating jobs, et cetera.
So the modern monetary theory says you don't have to raise those income taxes, right? There's money there because the whole economy is just growing. And at this low level of interest rates, and there's probably going to be an economist that knows this a lot better than I do, saying I got it wrong somewhere, so I apologize in advance.
But effectively, it's saying, look, if the economy is growing, we can take on more debt, and you don't have to do it to raise taxes. You don't have to raise taxes as long as you're growing the economy fast enough.
So, you know, to me right now, we've already done that to the tune of six trillion dollars, give or take to do it one more year or two more years and see what happens. then it's worth doing because there was a point in time not long ago, like 2010, when we had the last great recession, where people said, well, if we print this much money, you know, borrow this much and add it to the economy, then inflation is going to go through the roof.
That never happened. Now people are saying all the things you're hearing from the Republicans, we can't add to the debt, and all the Democrats, we have to raise taxes on everybody.
You're over 400,000. Well, we should just give this modern monetary theory approach with the stimulus payments a chance to work and see what happens because you never know where to end up.
And so that's kind of like my long winded answer on all this. I just think we go with what's been working with the stimulus payments.
And I think that's going to benefit the economy a whole lot more than the Democratic approach or the Republican approach. It's, I mean, essentially just a future us problem.
I'm running the economy. I'll handle it later.
I have a short tank idea real quick. Well, I just had one question about the economy real quick.
What about, Mark, the people on Twitter with the rose in their handle that say, eat the rich, are you worried they're going to actually try to eat you? You know, I know I'm salty. Yeah.
And so, you know, the sodium levels are going to go through the roof, so I don't think that's going to be very good. Okay, just be careful because they're talking a lot about eating a lot of the rich people.
I've been seeing a lot of tweets at the guillotine on it. Yeah, Jeff have you seen the guillotine i think jeff yeah i saw it outside bezos house yeah we're gonna eat that guy so my shark tank idea is just why don't we form just a badass group basically kind of like an x-men style or uh what's that that sylvester stallone movie the uh avengers no where they all kicked everyone's ass uh rocky four billy knows where it is billy wasn'tables.
Why don't we just put together these? We'll just use those people from the Expendables to go overseas and then just steal everybody's money and bring it back to the United States. That's called war.
Oh, sure. Should we start wars? Yeah.
No. There's no good reason.
I mean, wars are just fought differently now. It's bits and bytes, not bombs and bullets.
It's just, you know, that's how we're going to going to be fought hopefully you know but what's really cool to think about is when do we get the real terminators because we're getting closer and closer you've got processing speeds and chips that keep on going up and up and up um you've got 5g so and going to 6g so you'll be able to communicate with these robots that are out there the two missing pieces are manual manual dexterity. They can't really use their fingers yet on robots.
And batteries, size and length. You can't be plugged into an outlet.
Yeah, and humor. I'm not worried about robots until they can make people laugh.
When they can make people laugh, I'm fucked. That's my whole take on robots.
You seem to know a lot about robots, Mark. You seem to know a lot about their strengths and weaknesses.
Are you invested in the artificial intelligence space? Oh, hell yes. Yeah, big time.
And robotics, too, big time. That's the future right there.
You creating your own robot army? My own robot army? Not yet. Not yet, but you know.
Serious question. Are you a little worried that the robots will turn on us? No, not yet.
Like maybe in a hundred years, I guess that'll be a possibility, but not now. Well, what the fuck? Why you're just, that's another future.
You're like, I don't care. I won't be here in a hundred years.
Yeah. My kids will be around.
Right. But you know, there's going to be ways, there's going to be ways to deal with it.
But at the same time, like we're going to be able to implant these chips. So they'll be customized chips that we don't like.
We know so little about the brain right now. Your body is like one big math equation with trillions of variables.
And we know one tenth or one millionth of one percent of what those variables are. Over time, that hundred years from now, we're going to be able to recreate at least some portion of that into chips, implant implant them in your head and you will have these custom chips that are able to do all these different capabilities that people can't do right now plus we'll have all that dexterity plus we won't need power so we'll have an edge on all the robots we'll kick their ass and then we can we can infect them with a virus if they if they get like too out of control i'm out i'm out well That's right.
And so we'll give them malware, right? And so we'll be able to take over their credit cards too. We're going to get back to more Mark Cuban in a second before we do.
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You helped track him down. How did that come into motion? Did you get a call from a friend or from a relative of his or like a former player? No, no.
You know, we had tried to help Delonte before and it didn't work out. I don't think he was ready yet.
And then I saw the pictures and people saying that he was in Dallas and where he was, I-75 and like 635, which is like two miles from my house. And so I started driving around looking for him and went and hunted down his mom's phone number, got a hold of his mom.
And basically, you know, can you ask her for his number and got his number, left a message for him. And, you know, he didn't call me back for a few days.
Then he called me back and I told him, Delonte, don't move. I'm coming to get you.
And that's what I did. Went and got him a hotel room, let him sleep it off, went and got him some food and sat there, waited for his mom to get there and waited with him.
And then she got him on the plane and got him to rehab. And so you probably saw the picture.
And then I just got a picture today.

He was skydiving, skydiving.

So he's making progress.

I just hope he stays with it.

You know, the first couple of weeks are tough, but I, you know, going through rehab and,

and dealing with addiction, that's not easy and dealing with mental illness.

That's not easy.

And so I hope he fights his way through it.

That's awesome.

The world needs some more like positive stories. So it's it's a cool just genuinely positive story um can we talk a little about season 12 shark tank sure do we have uh any any favorite are you let's start here are you worried at all that people are now coming on shark tank to just get that like pop of publicity and they don't actually want to do deals you know what in the past you would have been right and that pissed me off all the time but now this season like we had to go the sharks were in a bubble that was 10 times more strict than the nba bubble literally we went from our room down the hall there was like masking tape everywhere to tell us where to go.
The elevator we had to take. The makeup people were in like hazmat suits.
Then we went on set to shoot. We shot our nine hours or 10 hours a day, whatever.
Went right back to our room and did the whole thing again. And so it was strict.
So those entrepreneurs that came, they also had to quarantine at least eight days and some of them a lot longer.

And so they were stuck there. So they weren't just messing around.
They really needed help.

And, you know, the whole pandemic has really messed with a lot of people's businesses.

And, you know, we saw some really smart businesses that have pivoted and that we really help.

But there are some really favorites and there were some really good deals because the people that were able to stick it out through quarantine really wanted it and really were good people um and i did more deals this season than i ever have in any other shark tank season i like it i like it have there been any businesses that come on that are like pretty well established businesses like successful businesses i don't know when this is going to air, and I can't tell you what happened.

But there was a deal with dinosaurs that was the most incredible,

incredible Jurassic Park type shit I've ever seen in my life.

You're making Jurassic Park.

It was just amazing.

And they had these things set up.

These were the actual dinosaurs they used in Jurassic Park.

And the brains behind them and all that, because there's a new Jurassic Park movie coming out or trying to come out, I guess, these days. So it was stunning.
And we had other deals where there's just there's just a lot of this was easily the best season in terms of good companies, because the companies that made it and stuck it out through the quarantine were companies that were really agile and fought their way through a pandemic. So like I said, I did more deals than ever before and the season is great.
That sounds very similar to my idea I pitched to Barbara Corcoran when she was here. I pitched her Jurassic Park.
Everything that you saw in the movie, but we're going to do it in real life. We're going to do the embryos.
We're going to create dinosaurs, put them in an island. She she's heavily interested in that so okay so i love it right so you do the real thing we'll do the simulation okay so me and barbara are going to team up on that one she said the blue pill you're right she said there's no way you'd have the guts to go through on it what yeah so barbara wanted to be in business with me but she was like yeah don't worry about cubes there's no chance that cubes even wants to do something like this.
He's not a risk taker. That's true.

Yeah, you just watch and see what happens.

You got to prove her wrong?

You just watch.

And I love Barbara, but sometimes she's full of shit.

Okay, I'll put you down as also.

That was my way of trying to get you interested

by generating false competition against your rival.

And it works.

It works.

It absolutely works.

That's the easiest way to get Mark Cuban to want to do something

is tell him that someone said he couldn't do it.

Yeah. That's pretty damn close to the truth, too.
It absolutely is the truth. I think when was the last time we talked to you? I think we talked to you right during the pandemic, right when it started.
Yeah, we talked early in the pandemic, and then before that was Super Bowl. Super Bowl.
So we have the Barstool Sportsbook app is out now. Are you still kicking yourself that you didn't buy us when you could have? Yeah, pretty much.
I mean, I was still thinking about it. That was my problem.
That was a big miss. Like, we're doing stuff now with gambling.
We're coming up with new bets that, like, are just, you know, we're going to kick everyone's ass. No, it's brilliant, guys.
You guys deserve a ton of credit, man. I think like I told you then, it's a grind.

It's not an easy business. And you guys definitely had your grind on and made it work.

You guys deserve a ton of credit.

When are we getting gambling in Texas?

Hopefully sooner rather than later, because that certainly helps the sports business.

You know, I don't know when it happens, but I think now every state's going to need that revenue.

So there's going to be somehow some way that it happens.

Okay.

All right.

Yeah.

Because I did – I remember I had the Luka buzzer beater game, I bet, against the Mavs, and I was so mad at myself because that's like – that's such a fun moment. I was like, God damn it.
How could you do that? Brutal. I'll never forget it, man.
Because I wasn't in the bubble. I was on my elliptical, right? And I'm watching it because I can't watch it with my family or anybody else because I get so intense.
So I just like burn off the intensity on the elliptical while I'm watching the game. And I'm sweating.
And Luca hit that shot. And I'm running through the house, jumping on my kids, jumping on my wife.
and they're being disgusted. I mean, that was unbelievable.
Yeah. Unbelievable.
And he lives for those moments. And, and credit to the NBA for pulling it off because there was, you know, when sports came back, I know that there's a lot of people who are skeptical and say like, we don't need sports.
You need to focus on sports matter. Sports matter to people's day to day lives.
And they matter to our entertainment and and what we look forward to. And I think there are some people that forget that.
They forget what being a sports fan is and how much it really does matter to people's lives. Yeah, I agree with you 100%.
And, you know, credit to Adam Silver and the staff at the NBA for making it all work. I mean, zero positives.
And credit to the guys, too, being away from their families, you know, most of them from for weeks or months at a time and sticking to the protocols, man, that's hard. You know, just doing everything by the book and, you know, doing it for your teammates and doing it because literally one or two knuckleheads out of hundreds of guys and a thousand plus people could have brought down the entire thing and nobody did.
And that's hard, man. Just look at, you know, these guys, a bunch of them are the same age as college kids and look what's happening on college campuses, you know? And so for us to have our guys really stick through it, it's really, I'm proud of them and I was really happy about it.
Yeah. One thing I missed from these playoffs was Mark Cuban gets a $400,000 fine for criticizing officiating.
I needed you in the building to be interviewed for some reporter to stick a cassette in front of your mouth after a game when you're heated, you say something a little off the cuff, and then, boom, get that notice, that push notification from ESPN. I wish I could have been there, man.
I so wish I could have been there. Yeah, because I kept on thinking about, okay, would they be able to hear me from where they put the owners, right? Yeah.
Yeah. Would they be fine to me for some of that stuff? Like when KP got ejected? Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Definitely. Saved you some money.
Yes. All right.
Cubes, I got one last question. It's the final question brought to you by Cross Country Mortgage.
America's Crazy Good Mortgage Company. Go to ccmlens.com slash take to learn more about your future home, buying experience, or refinancing needs.
Equal housing opportunity. The last question, I'm actually going to pass it off.
Wait, is this the cross country mortgage question? Last question. It's a cross country mortgage question.
So everybody knows it's a cross country mortgage question. That's why you're the best.
Do you need a new house? Yeah, you do you should use cross-country mortgage we better get a cut of that percentage too you should get you should buy someone a house one of our listeners oh i think you would cross-country mortgage my favorite mortgage broker should yeah let's do it uh thank you for for helping that that's why the cubes is the best. He helps out the advertisers.
Keep everything going.

All right.

So I'm passing off the cross country mortgage.

Last question to our intern, Billy, who just sat in front of us.

He has Billy.

He has an app idea. Now, Billy, just to give a background, if they did the like, you know, the background when they're walking up the shark tank, Billy is as prototypical of a 21 year old bro that you can imagine um he owns like seven what what is he cte seats maybe no he's a football player he's got uh hasn't graduated college he owns a zoo at his house he has way too many animals and uh yeah billy go ahead hi mr cuban I would like to What up Billy Name's Mark Thank you I would like to address A large

Gap animals. And yeah, Billy, go ahead.
Hi, Mr. Cuban.
I would like to address a large gap in the food and beverage industry that grows ever larger every day as COVID and a new generation of consumers enters the market. I have developed with some of my associates an app.
Billy, you talk up man you can't do your whip with your bitch enemy no no no talking to the mic billy i have an idea for a marketplace that will get information from producers to consumers in the nightlife and entertainment industry how it would act is it would crowdsource information real time from people on the street going to, let's say, a bar or a restaurant. So they could then say like ways where if you pass a police officer on the side of the road, you could report that.
And then it goes to the greater. It once uploads the app, it goes to the large population of users.
What's what's my information? You're fucking killing this, dude. No.
Go on. So as so let's say, especially in the age of COVID, you don't want to go to a crowded bar or nightclub.
You go to the venue and say, oh, you get there. It's crowded.
You then can report that on the app for a reward system, which then gets dispersed to the great population. So you want people to not go where it's crowded because of COVID, which I get.
but why would people want to go to dead bars? Well, a lot of individuals actually do want to go to bars where they can actually receive service and not just go to the most popular bar and have a bad night. But here's the thing.
If you go on Google Maps, and I forgot, my answer to the cross-country mortgage question is if you go Google Maps, it kind of tells you that because what they do is they kind of don't care about your privacy. And so they know where everybody's at and they're able to tell you what what places are busy and what places are not during a particular time period.
So that's going to make it tough. Now, if you want to make a better interface on top of that, what you could do for your business is interface with Google Maps and pull that data and have that crowdsourcing part where people can also add to it the information like it's crowded, not crowded, good, bad.
Because remember, hopefully COVID is not going to be here forever. And by the time you finish this app, people may want to go back to where it's crowded.
So you've got to be able to turn the switch in your cross-country mortgage question pitch. Right.
But I think this would play a great role in a lot of time. Basically, we have a new generation that if they go to the first bar, second bar, and not you know having good time they're just going to go home and watch netflix and smoke weed this makes sure that the time they first go to the bar it's the bar that they want to hang out i get that right all i'm telling i get that billy but what i'm saying is by the time you write this product and develop this app you know six months from now you get it done hopefully we're at least partially on the other side of the ship and you're going to have to adjust.
So it's not a bad idea, right? Knowing where to go. But what I'm telling you is the catch 22 and crowdsourcing is it's because there's other products.
Oh my God. Foursquare has a product that does it.
And Facebook has check-ins, right? So that people want to go on Facebook and check in, but people don't really use it for that. So you've got to be able to convince people to do it.
And so you start off with the Google Maps and then you do your pitching and you're promoting and try to get a viral to get people to contribute so that you can do what you want to do. And then you have to be prepared to deal with it post pandemic.
Well, that all makes sense. Now, if you can get that to work, then maybe you can get the bars and advertisers and liquor companies and whatever to pay you to do some things, but it's not going to be easy because a lot of this has been done before.
Talk about the ratio, Billy. It's all about...
Billy was trying to cloak this in a big public health blanket. In reality, this is the money part about the app.
Right, go. You basically can get people, like let's say, you basically get demographics to go where they want to go.
You want a lot of chicks at the bar, Cubes. No.
You want a lot of chicks. If a guy looks at his phone, he's like, how many chicks are at this next bar I'm going to go to? It tells you.
You get the vibe of the bar before you actually get it. Billy, he's a businessman.
Get the vibe part. It's going to sell.
The front end and back end have already been developed. It just needs to be, you know, and I have an idea for, to create viral.
It's targeted towards young people. Young people aren't going to use Google Maps.
If you have a patch of names. So you want to filter people out like us unless, you know, so that you.
You have a new generation that needs an app to date, an to order food an app to get home this is going to be the app that people use that's going to automate club promoters automate all the stuff that people don't want to deal with when they go out and why they end up on their couch watching netflix and actually you know streamline the industry for this new generation of people who have zero sounds like my life um no i get you billy it you, Billy. It's not a bad idea.
All I'm telling you is the hard part is the execution, right? The idea is decent, right? But the hard part is getting all those pieces to work together. So if you've got the app already written, then the harder part becomes how do you get people to crowdsource that information? Because you don't want to do a filter that just says, okay, here's the demographic.
I want to know where they're at. Point me in the right direction.
And I want 10 or fewer people or I'm in the mood. We want to go where there's a lot of people, right? But we want to know that social distancing is enforced or not enforced, depending on what you're about.
So you can do an app that does that. The hard part is getting, how are you going to market it so people participate? Yeah.
I think the funniest part of Billy's pitch is that he's like, I've got it written. It's ready.
It's done. Can I just have a bunch of money? Yeah, he said the front end and the back end are done.
That's total bullshit. No, no, no.
I'm working with my former teammates and the kicker did the back end. You don't know what the back end means.
It's the coding to do the server. There's no chance to code it.
I was pretty charged with the motion. Billy, thank you.
Billy, Billy. Come on, Shark Tank.
I think I could explain it better there. Yeah.
Okay, well, Billy, what's the name of the app? Gala. Gala, okay.
First to trademark search because that might be tough. Two, when are you going to release it? Well, we're looking to, you know, once everything starts to open up again, it definitely needs some time.
All right. We're in beta.
By the way, let's throw that name out. The name of the app should be how many dudes? Question mark.
How many dudes at the bar right now? He's right. That's how we would market it.
That's what you need to say. It doesn't matter, right? You go to the app store, if you see an app called how many dudes, or you see an app called Gal, one, you're looking for horses.
The other, you're like, I know exactly what he means. Gallup sounds like you're trying to find a black tie affair out on the town.
No, it's how many dudes, a.k.a. are there chicks there? Yeah.
Anyway, the ratio would be a thing. There could be a sausage fest button, and then no one's going to go to that bar.
Dude, that's the whole app. app.
It will also stuff like, I don't know, chill, the type of music, the type of vibe. It's totally going to work.
I may not be explaining it the best. All right.
I thought you were explaining it well. I got you right.
I got it exactly, Billy. So you've been on Yelp.
You've been on Google Maps. You've been all the places that try to do a little bit of that, right? Right.
The hard part is just marketing it and get people to use it. I think that's kind of the easy part because there's a huge platform.
Here's my idea for you. Why don't you get a job at maybe a company with a massive media following with a lot of people that could help you promote this app? I know.
So you got to start looking at companies that might be able to do that. The problem is it's all dudes watching the shows, right? And checking out the podcast, right? And so how are you going to deal with that? Billy's mom listens.
No, no. This is the part.
It's also going to be basically a social network of people who can then connect to other people. We're going to get influencers on the app and say, oh, they check in here.
Now you're complicating the shit out of it now you're fucking up i'm not it's not too complicated be good or really be really good at one thing and make it work for one thing then add to it by the time you try to make it a big social network now you're competing with other things right and then it gets more expensive it gets harder and more problems pop up well if you make it right no sausage fest here right app right and then you grow it from that then you can make something happen out of it well if we do too much you go too wide that makes it tough but if we approach bartenders to give the vibe of the bar at that moment because that's how i think our distribution would work to get people on the app then you know it's like empty bar here people are going to go to a bar with less people okay so you're a bartender at a club and you're starving right there's nobody there right you're going to tell the truth or you're going to lie to get the people there yeah well you're gonna yeah but you're basically there's a huge are you gonna press this is a sausage fest on your own bar like so many hot chicks here looking to fuck. Yeah, exactly right.
And then you show up. It's going to work, you guys.
Thank you, Billy. Thank you for your time.
It was a very good pitch. It was a very good pitch.
Billy, you got to go for it, Billy. I'm going to come back for the update.
Yes. There will be no update.
There will be an update. No, thank you.
All right, Billy, thank you. I'm going to get on short.
Yeah, no, next time you come on, you're going to be like, whatever happened to Billy's app? And it's like, well, they're still working on the front end and the back end.

The back end is done.

No, the back end is not done.

I have one last question.

Do you ever have, when someone offers just an absurd price,

do you sometimes respect it when they're like 3% for $10 million investment?

You've got to kind of respect it, right?

I mean, if it makes sense, yeah.

If it makes sense for sure, right?

If they've got a business and the valuation is justified, justified yeah then you're dumb if you don't do it but if you come on and it's just total nonsense and you you know you're in the clouds then no i'll just laugh i mean you know i have no problem when someone's just full of crap i have no problem giving them shit at all yeah um but if someone build up a business yeah give them give them their props yeah like billy's down to fuck that's billy's app ttf yeah that's not bad just actually just create an app for billy where it's like it's tinder but it's just for billy that's really then we don't need to do the app just get billy late i just want to help billy wants to help people stay safe and healthy and not contract covid yeah Yeah. And his, and his, I want to get a boner at a bar while I drink Jägermeister app is the key to doing that.
This is also, it's a worthy goal, man. It's a worthy goal.
Yes. And this is a, it's perfect because you, when we first pitched Barstool to you, you called us the hard dick business and we have the next generation of the hard dick business here in Billy.
We've got an incubator yes no you're dead right you're dead right you're 100 right uh all right well thank you so much while you can all right thank you so much uh mark we really appreciate your time as always you guys are the best man yeah thanks so much man appreciate it guys shark tank friday nights on abc love it season 12 right. See ya.
That interview with Cubes was brought to you by... Hey, what's going on there, pal? We saw you at the hockey game on.
Do I know you guys? I'm Ryan Whitney. I got a drink named after me.
Not a big deal. Pink Whitney? That's what I thought.
See ya, fellas. I invented the thing, you pigeon.
Pink Whitney for legendary moments. All right, let's wrap up.
Billy, great job with the app. We're going to get anyone who wants to invest in Billy's app, he's ready.
And we've changed the name. It's how many dudes.
No. Too many dudes, question mark.
Too many dudes, question mark. Or are there chicks there? No.
Question mark. Okay, you know what? I pitched.
I swung. You did a good job.
You did a good job, Billy. I stuck out.
Your only problem, Billy, was just... Billy, you tried to be too professional.
Here's the thing, Billy. You, perspective, you may have totally beefed up your one chance to impress Mark Cuban, but how many 21-year-olds get to pitch Mark Cuban?

True.

So you're doing pretty damn good, man.

Okay.

We're going to pump you up.

Also, Billy, just use the tagline, it's a good idea, Mark Cuban.

Billy, I'll invest.

Really?

Yeah.

Here.

How much money are you looking for, Billy?

I'm going to give you 50 bucks.

Oh, no, I already gave you 50 bucks today.

Okay.

I gave you 50 bucks.

That's my investment.

Thanks. Okay.
Billy, I have invested in Billy's app. 50 bucks.
How much are you looking for? What's your A round of investing look like? You know what? Let's just move on. It's over.
All right. Well, oh, because you got the 50 bucks you're going to cash out now? No.
No, I'm not in the mood. Okay.
Okay. All right.
Let's do some guys on chicks.

What's up, football guys, guys?

I did a Baudire photo shoot recently. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Baudoir.

Wait.

Baudoir.

Wait.

Try it again.

Baudoir.

Try it one more time.

Baudoir.

You're getting close.

Baudoir.

Bourgeois.

Baudier.

Baudier.

A bourgeois photo shoot would be funny. Just like going out to brunch.
Boudoir. Walking your dog in your Uggs.
That's Instagram. Boudoir.
Boudoir. Okay.
Boudoir. Boudoir.
Jake just trusts the computer. I'm not a machine, Jake.
For those of you who don't know, boudoir is what Cajun people put in those fried balls. Actually, she clarifies.
A boudoir photo shoot, which is a photo shoot of me in lingerie or topless. I plan to turn the pics into a...
That's a really nice way to say nudes. It's classic because it's got a French term to it.
I plan to turn the pics into a book to give my fiancée as a wedding gift. No, like, good job, whatever.
I want to put some words in it, but I can only come up with corny stuff like yours forever. What are some play? What are some fun slash playful slash sexy phrases that I can put in this thing without being too cringe? Thanks.
I don't think the words are going to be that important in this gift. It's a good thought.
I appreciate putting in the effort, but a picture is worth a thousand words. So you probably have like six thousand words already.

I actually think you should use this as an opportunity to ask him to do like, you know him well, your fiancees, you're about to get married.

Use this.

Every single picture should have something that, you know, he is deficient in.

So it's like, here are my tits.

Can you please take out the trash?

Here's my ass. Could you put your could you put your your cereal bowl in the dishwasher like that kind of shit like pavlov's dog yeah here's yeah here's me in some lingerie hey next time you eat chili uh try not to put your your shit stained underpants in the hamper i kind of shit that.
I like that. So you can subliminally do it too,

where maybe one of the shots is in the bathroom

and there's a toilet seat that's very much down in the background.

Or just have a, can they do a magic eye?

Yeah.

Can they make a magic eye poster out of your nipples?

And so if he stares at it for too long,

it says like, honey, take the dog out, please.

Yeah, like, yeah, you're in the bathroom

and there's a roll of toilet paper with no toilet paper on it anymore. It's like, change this.
Yes. It's like little things.
Hi, Dad, Cat, Bleh. Hi, Dad, Cat, PFT, and Handsome Hank.
I forgot about it and left a tampon in for a week straight. Should I go to the doctor? Wait.
Doing the math. How did you forget that? How did you pee? You pee out of your your butt There's multiple holes Yeah that's true Yeah How Billy Go to the doctor Toxic shock syndrome I read about that once You did Yeah What's it It's actually really serious You can die Okay well there you go I trust Billy on this one Billy knows more about The human body Than anyone I've ever met That's a a fact.
I am bored in the bathroom with a tampon box.

Oh, so it's like if you leave the victim.

Yeah, yeah.

I was like, I'm bored.

Everyone's been there where it's like,

I can't physically take a shit without reading something.

Yeah, usually it's like shampoo bottle.

Yeah.

Used to be like that for me.

Now, if you keep the tampon in too long for one period,

that means you pretty much don't have to use a tampon next time, right? Roll over minutes? Yeah, I think so. Is this like when you swallow gum? You can have a tampon tree in your stomach? No, that's a watermelon seed.
No, that's not true. Yeah, that's a watermelon seed.
I swallow that stuff. Yeah, that's true.
You eat gum. Yeah, you do.
People forget Hank eats gum. Yeah.
My boyfriend is a diehard Patriots

fan, still mourning Tom Brady leaving for Tampa Bay.

I was born a Jets fan, but for obvious

reasons have been considering switching teams.

Is this acceptable? Many people have

called me a frontrunner. Yeah, I think you just

write it on a cocktail napkin. I resign

as fan of the New York Jets.

And I work for Belichick.

As long as you don't care about your friends

from where you grew up and you're just going to

adopt your boyfriend's friends and stuff, it should be

Thank you. as fan of the New York Jets.
And it worked for Belichick. As long as you don't care about your friends from where you grew up and you're just going to adopt your boyfriend's friends and stuff, it should be fine.
Well, the other thing is you can do... I think the Jets fans, maybe not the Patriots because that's a rival, but Jets fans, I think at this point, if a Jets fan's like, hey, I give up, I think no one's going to blame them.
Yeah, Can you make a Lincoln project for the New York Jets so you become a Patriots fan, but you just do it to shine light on the fact of everything that you hated about the Jets when you were on that team? This is a moment in time. I'm going to officially say, Jets fans, if you want to declare your freedom, go for it.
But I have a small problem with leveling up immediately to the Patriots. No, yeah, you can't do that.
But I'm saying go for freedom. Go for freedom.
Try out freedom for a couple years, then go somewhere else. But the Jets are such a disaster.
They give you nothing. Nothing.
The only problem with jumping straight to the Patriots is you're kind of hopping on that bandwagon when they're not necessarily the dynasty that they used to be. So you might get blamed.
I'm just saying if you have a boyfriend that would be inclined to do such a thing, he might hold resentment to you and be like, wow, the second you started rooting for the team, they started going 500 all the time and getting coronavirus spread to their best players by Roger Goodell. Facts.
Sup, Dan Fats, P Tall, and Honk, and Free Willy. What the fuck? Am I wrong for sticking with someone for just having an Australian accent? I mean, it's a decent relationship of being able to say down under jokes and hearing Australian slang is enough for me.
Am I crazy? No, I think that's one of those things where it allows you to stay around a little bit longer because every time you introduce your boyfriend to somebody new you get that residual shock from that other person who's meeting me like wow i love your accent and it reminds you oh yeah i i really do love this guy's accent yeah yeah i'd agree also just any guy that can do an australian accent that's fishing with dynamite so hot so hot i'm not really doing an australian Australian accent. Oh, that was an allergy.
Oi. That's also British.
Do it. Kuka barra.
How are you, mate? Pretty good. Some kuka barras.
Get koalas out. Put some koalas on the barbie.
That's pretty good. Look at this frog right here.
Yeah, he's got quite a sphincter on her. Billy, did you hear my fun animal fact from last show? Yeah.
Oi, you wanker. Go fuck yourself.
Billy, I'll teach you to say something. You look like a wombat.
I'm old Greg. Say rise.
Sharp kangaroo jack up. Lights.
Don't. It's a trap a trap no it makes it sound like you're saying razor blades in Australian rise up blanks rise up lights oh that does say it say rise up lights no it's gonna you're gonna make me say something no I'm trying to help you Billy Rise Up Lights.
Rise Up Lights. Yeah, there you go.
Rise Up Lights. Yeah, there we go.

I need Rise up lights. Rise up lights.

Yeah, there you go.

Rise up lights.

Yeah, there we go.

I need rise up lights for my shitty mustache.

Rise up lights.

Yeah.

Rise up lights. Give me a little, Billy.

Someone's got his swag back.

Hey, dinkum.

Hey, boys, especially PFT.

Is PFT a virgin?

IDK just got that vibe.

Thanks.

Oh, that's nice.

Big veg over here.

That's nice.

No, I've fucked.

I mean, I'm the only one who's proven it.

Listen, I've fucked.

That's all I'm going to say.

That's my statement.

It's like the Jordan facts of I'm back.

I have fucked.

It has happened.

When did Fat John Snow and Uglier Sears say fall in love with football?

Wait, what the fuck?

Is this a roast?

It is a roast.

What the hell?

When did that happen? I don't know. I don't know.
I'm just reading what I got. Okay.
That was only the two roasts, but they were right back to back. Different numbers.
So I've lived with my boyfriend for about two years, and this past weekend he accidentally sent me a Snapchat of him pissing all over a bar bathroom. I'm talking on the walls and all.
So that was like he meant to send it to the boys. Accidentally sent it to his girlfriend.
Since living together I've felt their bathroom has smelled horrible like piss even after being cleaned. I'm freaking out now that he's done this in our bathroom in a drunken stupor.
How do I address this? You sign up for the ride. Set up a camera.
Set up a secret security camera. Oh yeah.
Set up a camera. Or I'm pretty sure, I'm not there yet as a dad, but I'm pretty sure you're supposed to put Cheerios in the toilet, and then he'll do target practice.
I've heard that's a trick. That's hard.
Yeah. Well, obviously, you don't hit it, but you are trying, so you're not spraying it everywhere.
That actually sounds awesome. I'm going to do that at my house yeah for me yeah uh it is funny that like if we're being totally honest right now like if we're being completely honest with everyone right now i'm a virgin but only because i re-virginize myself every time i i ask for forgiveness and then i take an oath so like i can go like real lines off of a stripper's vagina and I'll be like next morning I'm a virgin again I know if we're being totally honest with ourselves I'm 35 and I am probably only 93% potty trained when it really comes down to it when you count in like poop in your pants and also just like peeing on the seat 93% potty trained that's a little embarrassing i mean people that work here are savages yeah that's true they are 93 is pretty good though it is pretty good but it's also hilarious to be like oh got a potty train it's like well dude practice what you preach you're not potty trained yeah that's mark price foul shooting yeah like i dribble in my pants all the time not potty trained or when you think you're done peeing and then you realize after someone went in your pants.
Right, that's what I'm saying. I dribble in my pants.
A little dribble. Is it me or have the backs of urinals gotten a lot more rebound-y recently? Yeah, there has been a lot of splashing.
Yeah, there's a new material that they're putting on these pissers. And we didn't have Cheerios when I was growing up, but I always used to go for the X marks, the spot.
What does... What? I'm talking about...
What do you mean? Like in the middle floor. I guess it's a little old.
When were you born, Hank? Yeah. No, I'm saying no one...
I never saw Cheerios in the bathroom. No one ever implemented that strategy.
You knew what Cheerios were, right? Of course, yes. But I would always shoot...
Hank was like, I ate the Cheerios out of the toilet. I don't know what you're talking about.
I would shoot for the X marks the spot, and then it would always splash back splash back yeah but i would still do it sometimes just because it's like yeah accuracy you know that's why they put those b logos in the urinals yes it's if you pee there it doesn't splash a little like mosquito or yeah or the logo yeah or not don't go for the x yeah don't go for the x why doesn't everyone just have ice in their urinal ice is the best it's like it's like you're an arcade game. You feel like you're at Dave and Buster's while you're in the bathroom.

Dude, every time.

So Dion, he always talks about how he pisses outside.

I think that's actually, I think that's like the number one thing about being rich is that

you can just have a property that you can pee on all the time.

Like that's the difference.

Yeah.

Well, dogs do it all the time too.

Must be so liberating.

Yep.

All right.

Last one.

Hey honk, ripped cat and PFT. My boyfriend loves animals and has always been overly obsessed with them.
He does not fuck slash finger blast them like Billy Football does. But his fetishes seem even worse.
He especially loves kangaroos and refers to them as Roo-Roo's. He constantly will lift up my shirt and poke his head through the neck hole.
He will then pretend he's sitting in my Roo-Roo pouch and demand I pet his head and feed him snacks of his choice. He will then make me stand up and say, Mommy Roo, Baby Roo, Ruru needs a tugging, which means he wants to give me a handjob while he was in my pouch.
I almost always give him the handjob, but I'm really weirded out by it. Should I be worried or should I let my boyfriend continue to do what makes him happy? This sounds perfectly normal to me.
Every guy goes through a kangaroo phase.

Yeah, Roo-Roo's.

That's a hilarious thing to call breasts.

Right, the Roo-Roo pouch.

By the way, breaking moose.

Breaking roose.

Breaking roose.

This even goes further to our newfound theory

that that whole video, the Fleetwood Mac video was planted. Stevie Nicks has joined TikTok.
Okay. Yeah.
It's a plant. It's over.
Fellas, it's a plant. It's a plant.
MKUltra. We've been planted.
We've been planted. Billy, I want to do a podcast with you about MKUltra.
Oh, sweet. Yeah.
Let's do it. I'm just going to get you on all the LSD, like government grade, and then just let you talk into a mic.
That's our MKUltra. I'm gonna do MKUltra on you.
Awesome. Don't be a pussy about it.
Just do it. D-Bab.
No, I don't want a trip. If I can do a bad trip.
It's true. Alright.
Oh, number. And then we'll go.
Eight. Eighteen.
19. My puke is used in perfume and it's actually really expensive.
So happy you're back. I miss you on Sundays, Billy.
I also heard that like beaver anus juice is used in perfume, and it's actually really expensive. So happy you're back.

I miss you on Sundays, Billy.

I also heard that beaver anus juice was used in vanilla and strawberry ice cream flavor.

That was going to be my fact.

God damn it.

How much does a whale usually jizz?

No, puke.

No, but when it jizzes, how many gallons?

Do you know?

I'm not sure.

Is it a sperm whale?

48.

54.

19.

Eight.

400 gallons.

Eight, eight, eight.

If you're a serious tech company

that wants to invest in my app,

email me,

billyfootballpmt at gmail.com.

I swear to God,

it's going to be awesome.

67. It's a lot more put together than it might seem.
When do you think, let's do over-under real quick before we go. When do you think the first time one of us will get it? Before the new year.
I don't think so. Before the new year.
It's one in 100 odds. Love you guys.
It's actually less because we keep the balls. And also because five of us do it at the same time.

True.

So it's really, it's one out of 20. It's one out of 20.

It's one out of 20.

We'll get it someday.

All right.

It's 5%.

See everyone on, what day is today?

Hank's mind just got blown.

Friday.

See everyone on Friday.

It's Friday.

It's Friday.

See everyone on Friday.

Love you guys.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye. Thank you.
Take me on.

I'll be gone.

After I'm too.

I'll be as to say.

I'll always say yes.

But I'll be so new.

Better than that life is okay. Save me.
It's better to turning away Better than the flight is okay Say ask me Place no better to be safe than sorry Say ask me Place no better to be safe than sorry Take on me Take me on I'll be gone.

And I'll take you.

All the things that you say isn't a lot more.

Just to play my world in the way.

You are the things I've got to remember.

Shining away.

I'll be coming for you anyway. Shining away.
I'll be coming for you anyway

shine away

I'll be coming

for you anyway

take on me

take me

I'll be

gone

I'll be gone. I'll be gone.

I'll be gone. Yes, sir.

It's Pardon My Take presented by Barstool Sports.