NFL Week 5 Recap, Fastest 2 Minutes, Deion Sanders, And Lebron Blah Blah Blah

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One also has other delicious flavors like like birthday cake maple glazed donut and blueberry cobbler find all one bars at a retailer near you or on amazon.com on today's part of my take week five of the nfl season we recap a weird day i don't even know if it was there was some bad football there was some good football it was a weird day and it was finished off know if it was... There was some bad football.
There was some good football. It was a weird day, and it was finished off by...
Well, that's always weird. The Seahawks never play a normal game, and that's what happened.
We'll talk about that as well. Dak got hurt.
That sucked. So, yeah, we have everything to recap.
There was... Oh, no, there was baseball playoffs.
Baseball playoffs. We'll talk about baseball playoffs, MLS.
Did I miss any sports?

Oh,

the French open,

some figure skating qualifiers,

French open,

the figure skating.

We'll get it all.

We'll hit every single sport you can imagine.

When we start before we do that,

start in the NBA.

That's true.

That's true.

Free agency.

That's the real season for some of us.

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Okay, let's Dude. Take it higher.
Oh, we're gonna rock down to electric avenue. It's Part of My Take presented by Barstool Sports.
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$10 to the ASPCA. Today is Monday, October 12th, week 5.
What? What? What? What? Careful, don't lose your voice. We start in Pittsburgh where the Battle of Pennsylvania is renewed and Ray Ray UU get off of McLeod help the Steelers rushing attack Vinny Chase Claypool and Eric Ebrantaraj didn't turtle from the spotlight as they helped Pittsburgh to victory oh yeah Travis Scott Fulgham I think it's oh yeah oh yeah Travis Scott Fulgham said send a Cactus Jack meal.
I want barbecue sauce because we're not going to catch up. And they did it.
Steelers 38, Eagles 29. What? In Houston, where Romeo Cronelli said, Bill O'Brien's seat was hot in her, but who needs a COVID mask when you can put a Band-Aid on the season? Brandon, too many cooks kept going on and on and on and on.
It was pretty funny. Then it got boring, but then it got funny again.
Stephen A. Smith Houska has the Jaguars bottom-feeding in the AFC South, going 0-2 from field goals, and Dugalo Marone is trying to find a way to get his guys to stop playing like a clown posse before it's too late.
Texans 30, the Jaguars 14. Some spread.
Up to Kansas City where Henry Lockwood Ruggs came back from his latest two-week vacation and is finally producing again for the Raiders. Josh Jacobs Sartorius insta-jammed the ball down the Chiefs' throats as the Raiders climbed the Nelson Agro-Kragular, beating the Super Bowl champs and getting all up into Andrew Reid's guts.
Do-do-do-do-you-have-it. The Raiders 40, Chiefs 32.
What? What? In the Meadowlands, where Dandre 3000 Hopkins said, Can you drink it? Drink it? drink it, drink it, drink it like a Polaroid pic, sir? But all the Instagram filters in the world can't make Le'Veon Bella Hadid look like he did five years ago. Joe Waka Flacco Flame went hard into paint, hard into taint, because his defaults make him look like an asshole.
We will respect Hippo laws, but it looks like Adam Schefter-Gase is deader than dead as the Jets fall to 0-5, the Cardinals 30, the New York football Jets 10. In Atlanta where Fleetwood Matt Ryan said, now here you go, Dan Quinn, you say you want your freedom.
As the Falcons head coach's time in Atlanta is tick-tocking away.

Mike Anthony Davis and the Los Angeles Lakers won their 17th title on Sunday night

against an injury-depleted team in a fake AAU tournament.

And that is your part of my Take NBA title recap.

That's an asterisk, boom.

Verbal meme for Arthur the Aardvark playing.

As the Falcons fall 0-5, 23-16.

Very topical, Teach.

To Cleveland, where the student became the teacher

as Kareem Pye Hunt finished after pounding the inside all day,

stealing one of Phillip Rivers' signature moves.

The Colts are feeling iggy now as the Cleveland coach said,

I'm Stefanski, you already know,

as the Browns plant their flag as a contender in the AFC with a 4-1 start. 32-23.
Out in San Fran where Les Miles Gaskin was eating up grass and Preston Lacey Williams looked like he was being chased by Wee Man, the 49ers Super Bowl hangover has reached, oh my God, I'm never drinking again. Territory.
Xavier and Dwight Howard got an interception in an NBA championship ring, and that was the part of my Take NBA title recap. Bobby John McCain brought his lunch palin and got another pick, forcing Kyle Shanahan to say, I like my quarterbacks that don't get intercepted.
The sole bright spot for the 49ers was rookie Kevin White's 20-yard kick return. I've got my eye on him as one of Schwam's pro bowlers.

The Dolphins trounced San Fran 43-17.

Boom, weren't you in that end zone back in the NFC Championship game?

I was with a young Tom Brady.

And Dwight Clark made the catch.

But it was more about boom.

You had a lot more hair back then, boom.

In the big day where the CBS truck said,

We'll be right back. made the catch, but it was more about Boom.
You had a lot more here back then, Boom. In the big D where the CBS truck said, I don't know how to Dak slow motion for me.
Slow motion for me. We don't need to see that, Boom.
Even as a fan of Brown University football, I feel awful for Dak Prescott. Darius Rucker Slayton said, hold my hand to Daniel Jones as he led the quarterback to over half his passing yards on Sunday.
Andy Bernard Dalton has been promoted to interim manager by prison Mike McCarthy, who warned the crooked Joe Judge, Don't drop the soap! Don't drop the soap! As he scared Greg Zerline's last kick straight. Cowboys 37, Giants 34.
We finish in Seattle where Steely Dan Bailey and the Vikings said, Are you feeling in the years? Cousin throwing picks at night. In a touching tribute to my good friend Eddie Van Halen, KJ right now said, I might as well jump.
Jump! Slinging Kirk Cousins over his shoulder like he was a six-stringer. Grill Disley helped to let Russ cook as even after Kirk Cousins tried to aluminum foil the ending for the Seahawks.
Seahawks 27, Vikings 26. Woo! All right.
Week five, baby. Well, we got Monday and Tuesday night football.
We got Monday, Tuesday night football. No Wednesday night football.
Yes. Yes.
It could happen. All right, week five in the books.
We're going to recap every game. We've got Dion on for about 15 minutes.
Well, they always give Roger Goodell a lot of credit saying, you know, Roger does the right thing and he will not put NFL football on Friday nights competing with the high schoolers. This year we might get Friday night football.
Yeah, we might get Friday night football. I still don't.
Before we get to Sunday night football, I still don't understand. And maybe this is, no, you know what, this isn't even hindsight is 2020.
Why didn't the NFL just schedule an extra week in the middle of the season to be like, okay, best case scenario, everyone just gets an extra bye week. Or best case scenario, we skip this bye week for the league-wide and we go to the next week.
Worst case scenario, like what's happening, every team that has missed a game can make it up in week 8.5. Call it week 8.5.
The only problem with that is imagine going into that week if there was no football on whatsoever. Is that apple picking weekend? Is that when you go out? That's when you go to the pumpkin patch? Yes, I actually...
You spend time with the family? That actually is where we should... That the future, is that we need one week where we basically all freeze football for one weekend, just do a bunch of family stuff, catch up on your sleep, do everything like that, and then you come back and you're like, yes, this is awesome.
Fans need a halftime, too. There should be a second Pro Bowl for the first half Pro Bowlers.
All right, Sunday Night Football. The Seahawks have never played a normal game in their life, and it continued tonight.

I guess we'll start with the end because everyone, there's some people who disagree.

We actually 100% agree together.

We watched the game, and we said, Mike Zimmer, this is a good move.

Essentially, we didn't even do it in a math way. We said, what do the Seahawks want the Vikings to do? They want the Vikings to kick a field goal because they haven't stopped shit all night.
And then Mike Zimmer, of course, he goes for it, doesn't get it. Everyone says that's the dumbest thing ever.
You just gave Russell Wilson the ball back to win the game. He then wins the game because he's Russell Wilson.
And we're left with the Vikings saying, how the hell did we lose that game? Well, DK Metcalf won the game. First and foremost, DK Metcalf.
We dropped it and then caught it. He dropped it because he didn't want to give the Vikings that much more time left to drive back down the field, so excellent awareness by DK.
He caught the ball in the end zone twice, didn't even get the ball on the one. He actually caught the ball on the zero-yard line, so he's making progress.
He dropped it on the half-inch line. So we're getting closer to being able to catch the ball before you cross the line for dk uh but yeah mike zimmer he did make the right call because you do not want to give russ wilson the ball back and yeah like people were saying well you did give him the ball back if you turned it over i would rather be in that situation if i were the vikings that you went for it you could have ended the game right there.
You have a chance to end the game. You have a chance to absolutely close out.
Russell Wilson never has the ball again. You also make them go 94 yards, which of course he went and did, but versus kicking the field goal, giving the ball to them.
I don't know, they've got to go 70 yards. And then everyone says, well, the worst that happens is you tie.
If Russell Wilson is as good as we all think he is, and he is that good, he's probably better than what we think he is, a two-point conversion should be pretty easy for him. Of course, people will play the results, not the process.
They'll say, well, they didn't get the two-point conversion at the end. That's stupid.
We're actual analytics, sabermetrics guys. Also, the play call, like, Dalvin Cook gets that first down.
He gets hurt madison doesn't bounce that outside he's got no vision there which he actually played a nice game but i would do that exact same thing a hundred times out of a hundred times because you do not want to you can win the game the raiders did it which we'll get to the raiders did it earlier where they said we're going to make sure that patch from homes doesn't get the ball back. Making sure Russell Wilson doesn't get the ball back means you have to go for it on fourth down.
And the Seahawks' defense stunk. They stunk all night.
They could not stop a nosebleed. I think that has a lot to do with the uniforms, the bright green uniforms.
I said it the minute I saw. If you look, Mike Zimmer, he's got like a quarter of a good eye left, right? He's had what, like 17? Mike Zimmer's eyes are the Alex Smith leg of the face, and he's had so many surgeries.
Even he can see the defense out there, and he can tell where the guys are. He can make adjustments because they're the candy-ass uniforms.
I think if you have, like, a ball-hawking secondary, those bright green uniforms are sweet as hell. If you want a hard-hitting defense that can stop the run, you know those uniforms look sweet if they're picking off passes.
No, if they go full color rush, highlighter, I'm down for it. The two-tone is terrible.
I said at the minute I saw it, I said, fuck. I actually was pissed that I bet on the Seahawks when I saw those uniforms because they just looked ugly.
They went half-assed on the uniforms for sure. Mike Zimmer is never going to trust a number as long as he lives.
Somebody's going to come up to him and be like, well, Mike, the analytics say that you should go for it here on third and one. And he'll be like, no, you know what? I'm going to punt.
I remember what math did to me last time. Fool me once, shame on you.
I don't even think he was doing math. Fool me twice, shame on numbers.
Somebody went up to him and was like, Mike Zimmer, if you go for it here, your winning percentage is going to increase. And he's like, nope, not going to deal with math anymore.
Math is for losers. I'd rather just go with my gut.
Yeah, I don't think this was a math call. I think it was a we're two for two on fourth down already.
We have 200 yards rushing. All we need is six inches.
Kirk Cousins, I mean, maybe even fall forward. I like to call.
I like to call. Of course, it didn't work out for the Vikings.
And again, that's a game that they should win like a million times out of a million because the way they dominated in the first half, they're only up 13-0. You let the Seahawks come back.
Listen, Russell Wilson is incredible. And maybe when Jamal Adams is out there, the Seahawks will look better.
But from what I saw from the Seahawks and watching them, I think we've watched every single one of their games, if that defense doesn't get fixed, they can't go deep in the playoffs with that defense. The Vikings had five drives where they had ten plays plus.
Yeah. It's brutal to watch.
The entire first half. I think the first quarter, the Vikings had the ball for like 90% of the time.
I'm not going to call them frauds because they have Russell Wilson. But I think Mike Zimmer actually did Kirk Cousins a huge favor tonight by getting all the conversation off of him.
We're not talking about Kirk Cousins losing a primetime game anymore. Because he played overall, he played well.
But add to the list of things that he can't do. Primetime, bright lights, bright lights playoffs and rain those are those are the four things that we know for a fact the pick was bad he needs to he needs to wear gloves i think he should rock two gloves but i think he likes showing off that wedding ring being like yeah i act like a virgin but guess what i've had sex says it right here on my finger yep in your face but yeah.
But, yeah, the Seattle Seahawks defense was –

they looked like a bunch of mall security guards wearing those bright green –

like the guys in the parking lot that say, actually, you know what? This spot's for expectant mothers right now. Please move to the next spot.
They didn't look like a professional defense. They missed Jadeveon Clowney as well.
Yeah, no, they have no pass rush. They missed Jamal Adams.
Yeah, they have no – I mean, they were. They missed the 12s.
Everything was, everything on their defense looked bad tonight. The 12s, I mean, Chris Collinsworth was actually right, I think, when he said Mike Zimmer probably would not go for it on that fourth down if the stadium was filled with people screaming.
If, like, Michelle Tafoya was down on the sidelines holding up, like, a picture of a jumbo jet being like, it's louder than this. I don't know.
I think they still go for it. That was a weird thing, though, to bring up being like the crowd, the lack of crowd.
I think he's right. No, because if you were listening earlier in the game, Chris Collinsworth said, I was talking to Pete Carroll, and we're talking about the defense and how maybe the defense doesn't have an edge because they don't have that crowd.
So he was trying to find a way to rework his research into the conversation. But, okay, at least from a fan's perspective, hearing the stadium that loud when Michelle Tafoi is screaming at you, like he's trying to talk to you when you're mowing the lawn.
I don't care. I still would have gone for it.
I would have too. Mike Zimmer.
I think he would have too. I don't know.
I like actually the Vikings, like even in a loss, they look like they have fight, which is kind of all, especially after the start that they've had. Yeah.
And Dalvin Cook, if he's healthy and he can't stay healthy, they have the Falcons next week. So guess what? They're going to win next week.
I think that the Vikings are fraudulently bad. Did I say something nice about the Vikings? They're not.
They're the best worst team in the league right now. They're the best really stinky team.
I don't know about that. You still think the Falcons? No, no, no, definitely not the Falcons.
The Falcons are terrible. The Falcons are a truly, truly terrible team.
I'm going to look real quick. I like the Chargers.
Remember, I'm down with Justin Herbert. I'm going to bet on him on Monday night.
And I – we'll get to the 49ers, but if they can figure out, like, a couple things, I don't know. Yeah, they're in there.
It's like the 49ers, the Cardinals, the Vikings. But I'd say the 49ers and the Cardinals are, like – But they're too – I mean, the Vikings are terrible today.
They're good average teams.

I think the Vikings are a good, bad team.

Yeah, I'm looking.

Yeah.

It would not surprise me if the Vikings beat any team in the league.

The Chargers.

I'm going to answer the Chargers.

And also the Eagles.

The Eagles, which we will also get to.

The Eagles are going to win the NFC East.

Absolutely.

They're going to win the NFC East.

If the season ended today...

No.

Yes.

No. Oh, the Cowboys would be in first place.
Yes, the Cowboys would. Alright, let's get to the rest of the games.
We'll start with Panthers-Falcons. Dan Quinn has officially been fired.
His last play call as a head coach for the Falcons was a field goal in a loss, which is so, so fitting. And here's a little fun.
We had the Browns always firing their coaches after the Steelers loss. This is now a trend for the Falcons.
Arthur Blank has fired Jim Moore Jr., Mike Smith, Dan Quinn, which Mike Smith and Dan Quinn are kind of the same guy. Like, in your head, they kind of just blend together.
One has hair and one doesn't. Yeah, Mike Smith, he's got that like silver fox look.
And they have the same blank stare. They've got the same pecs, same breasts.
All of them were fired after a loss to the Panthers. So that's Arthur Blank's little thing he does now.
I knew it was over when Arthur Blank walked down onto the sideline in the fourth quarter and just kind of hovered behind him like the Grim Reaper's henchman or the guy that the Grim Reaper sends to your door to collect somebody and then bring him to the Grim Reaper. Yeah.
Like he was just kind of hovering back there. I knew it was over when they ran Todd Gurley in the first drive of the game and Todd Gurley had 59 yards and they went right down the field and scored and then he didn't touch the ball for the rest of the first half yeah that's when i knew it was over when mike's dan quinn coached the falcons the way we think about the falcons he's always thinking well we have all these wide receivers and number one picks we have to throw the ball all the time he's just forgetting the fact that matt ryan has quickly become like old good old quarterbacks that don't have the mobility they reach a point where they just become the tastiest treat for the defensive line to sack.
Like Matt Ryan is just the easiest sacked quarterback ever. But let's give credit to Teddy Bridgewater as well.
Teddy Bridgewater was great. One thing about the Falcons, I heard somebody say Bill O'Brien.
That's not happening. Why would they say that? I might have said Bill O'Brien because they've also fired their GM.
And their GM is pretty much Rasputin. Wait, Thomas Dimitrov? Dimitrov got fired too.
He's pretty much Rasputin. He can convince any owner in the league, like, hey, I've got the pedigree.
I was around. I smelled Ernie Adams' farts for a few years there.

There was a period where I just kind of basked in his glory.

And now it's like, okay, I know what I'm doing.

You have to trust me with the franchise moving forward.

But I don't know who the Falcons get.

I want them to get Mike Leach because he'd be perfect.

Just like with that offense, it would be so much fun to watch the Falcons at least lose entertaining games.

I mean, Mike Leach scored two points on Saturday. That's true.
That's a good point. Six interceptions.
70 passes, two points. You know how hard that is to do? It's very hard.
70 passes, two points. The Falcons should try to get a first-round pick as their head coach also.
That would be great. Byron Leftwich.
Yeah. Done.
Was he after the first round? Yeah. I'm pretty sure..
90% sure Leftwich was a first rounder. There we go.
That's the missing ingredient. Yeah.
That's perfect. And get Byron Leftwich, and then it's just first rounders everywhere.
I like that. That's a good idea.
Or John Gruden. John Gruden got traded for a first rounder, so I think he's as close to a first rounder.
That counts as a first rounder. Yes.
Yes. Exactly.
Yeah. Byron Leftwich, seventh pick in the draft.
Didn't pan out the way – well, he was okay for a while. Matt Ryan, after the game, he said the standard Atlanta Falcons boilerplate line.
You have to say this after every loss. We're going to look ourselves in the mirror.
We're going to take a long look in the mirror. We're going to just stare at ourselves.
We're going to put mirrors – we're going to replace every wall in the facility with mirrors. So we're just looking at ourselves all day, and then that will sort itself out.
It's kinky as fuck. Just mirrors on the ceiling.
Yeah. Well, you can watch yourself fuck.
Matt Ryan just wants to make it a crunch fitness. Yeah.
It's tough to see yourself in the mirror. If you're a ghost like Arthur Blank, maybe that's the whole place bigger.
Arthur Blank can't look at himself in the mirror. Yeah.
So Teddy Bridgewater, we got to respect Teddy Bridgewater. It's one of my goals.
Teddy, two gloves. I went and looked it up.
Of the active quarterbacks in the NFL right now, 40 minimum starts. Best winning percentage? Patrick Mahomes, one.
Tom Brady, two. Russell Wilson, three.
Ben Roethlisberger, four. Aaron Rodgers, five.
Teddy Bridgewater, six. Sixth.
He is 25. I'm going to count it 25 and 14.
He's 25 and 15 as a starter. One of them was week 17 for the Saints as the backup when they'd already sealed the number one seed.
25 and 14 as a starter. All he does is win.
And all he does is win as an underdog. He's 12 and 10 straight up as an underdog.
That's pretty impressive. Teddy Bridgewater is good.
Teddy Bridgewater is just point blank a good quarterback in the NFL. And guys like him.
And guys want to play with him. And Matt Rule, we made fun of you last week.
I think you might be a good coach because you do not have a good roster. And your best player's out.
And you're still winning games. Your three wins in a row.
It is crazy to think that Christian McCaffrey was, what, he's typically 60% of that offense or more sometimes. Yes.
And without him, they're still winning divisional games. We should come up with, like, there's got to be, like, a theory, like, when you lose your best player but you start winning.
But you get better in spite of him. Right.
Put that on a list, Jake. We'll think of that some other day.
The Christian doctrine. The Christian doctrine.
I like that. Okay.
We'll workshop it, though. It's basically when you have the best player on your team gets injured or traded, and then your team gets better.
Yeah. And maybe it's usually when that player went to a really good academic school.
Right. Like a Georgetown or a Stanford.
We we don't want science behind it. We just want to think about it.
Okay, got it. And just throw it out there.
All right, yeah, so Falcons, Dan Quinn. Who's the interim? Do we know? I don't think we know yet.
Let me do a little quick. Let's see what the coaching staff looks like.
Google. The interim, Rich McKay.
No, will be the interim GM, Raheem Morris. Raheem Morris Raheem Morris Dirk Cutter's also on the staff great football name Dirk Cutter love that guy he sucks as a head coach though he was terrible yeah I don't know I'm looking at that roster right now and I mean Raheem Morris is the obvious guy I think he's done it before right he's been an he's been well dirt cutter's been a head coach yeah yeah has he been an interim coach though i don't know but it is uh it's always very dirt like this is the problem with having a former head coach uh wait was dirt cutter head coach yeah he was for the bucks right am i making that up it was He was so unmemorable.
2016 to 18. Dirk Cutter is the guy that you might recognize.
You're like, oh, is that one of the people from the nationwide commercials where they teach you how not to be a dad? Right. He's like the dad coach.
Dirk Cutter, you don't want to have Dirk Cutter be your interim head coach and then the Falcons win enough games where you have to hire him. No.
That's always a dangerous thing. Like, that guy's not a good head coach.

Don't do that.

Maybe have your defensive coordinator coach the defense.

No head coach.

Or you know what?

There's got to be some guy, some football lifer, special teams coach,

quality control, strength and conditioning, whatever it may be,

who has zero aspirations of being a head coach.

Make him the head coach knowing that no one's ever going to be like, hey, he should be the head coach next year. Or just Arthur Blank as the head coach.
Yeah, that would work. That would be amazing.
Have him play Madden. Bring Michael Vick to be the head coach.
You knew that Arthur Blank was in a firing mood today when you saw his suit based on all the different accessories that he has on. Like some people get dressed up to go to a job interview.
When you're an owner of a football team, you get dressed up when you know that it's firing day. There also is, you know, people should be wearing masks.
You don't have to hear me say it. You probably follow John Rothstein on Twitter.
But there are certain people that wear their mask too well and you're like, that's a mask you want to wear to like cut someone up, you know? And like rich guy wearing a mask, like it's nice, nice too nice of a mask you feel a little too comfortable in it i'd actually prefer you take off the mask risk me getting the cocoa and we'll push aside you like kidnapping me and cutting me up in your basement we are not saying arthur blank would do that no he's got he can pay somebody to do that for him look like it and's got all the tools. He owned Home Depot for like 40 years.
He's got several circular saws that he can bring over. But when he had that mask on, I think he was putting the mask on, not for public health issues, but because he was just so happy that he was about to fire Dan Quinn.
He was just standing behind him grinning on the sidelines or like licking his lips. Like, now is the time.
I get to do this. And he didn't want America to know that he was taking such pleasure in it.
Yes, I got the head coach, Jeff Ulbrich. Jeff Ulbrich should be your new head coach.
He's a linebackers coach, assistant linebackers coach. That's who you should get.
That's who you should promote because he's not ready to be a head coach, and that way you don't have to worry about him winning some games and then being like, oh now we got to hire this yeah this guy definitely gives up he gives up dave brock he gives up big big dan campbell vibes right yeah or bob sutton the defensive analyst who looks like he's 90 years old there we go you know what i'm sudden i think used to coach mac yeah just have just have uh your strength and conditioning coach be the head coach because you've got all the talent, right? You just need to work harder. Yep.
Just have some little fire plug of a dude on the sideline kicking everybody's ass when they screw up. Yeah.
So, all right, good luck to the Falcons. Way to go.
You fired Dan Quinn. I'm going to miss you, Dan Quinn.
You'll find out. You'll find us.
I mean, coaching is the one job they keep you forever. Oh, yeah.
You're going to be a defense coordinator. Pete Carroll will hire you back.
Yeah, and respect Teddy Bridgewater more. Okay, next up we have Raiders, Chiefs, the real shocker of the day.
The Chiefs, this is – so PFD, I will talk about this with Dion, but the first thing that came to my mind when the Raiders beat the Chiefs, I said to myself, blueprint game. So I went on Twitter, and I was trying to find out, are people chatting about this being a blueprint game? And I have something even more disgusting for you.
People were chatting about it being a blueprint game, but not the Raiders giving a blueprint. Bill Belichick gave the blueprint last week.
He just didn't have the horses to complete it. So the Raiders got the blueprint from the Patriots and then executed the blueprint, and now everyone else has the blueprint, which is essentially have the best offensive line in the game, run the ball really well, make a few big plays with Henry Ruggs, who is electric.
I can't keep track of the difference between Henry Ruggs, Jerry Judy, and CeeDee Lamb. And guess what? Jalen Waddle, who's still at Alabama, might be the best of all of them.
And Mechie. Mechie's good, too.
But that's the blueprint. And also just have Patrick Mahomes have a slightly off day.
Are you worried about the Chiefs? I'm not, because Derek Carr. I think you're right, by the way, that they got the blueprint from the Patriots because John Gruden absolutely sat Derek Carr down like it was clockwork orange, just opened

his eyes and made him watch that sack that Brian Hoyer took.

It was like, if you do this, I will kill you.

Yes.

I'm not going to leave you on the tarmac.

I might tie you down on the tarmac like an old time cartoon villain ties somebody to

a railroad track and I'll instruct a plane to run you over on the tarmac.

And we'll have Mark Davis try to save you, but he's so inept that he'll die too. Yes, I can't stress this enough.
I will kill you if you do what Hoyer did. So yeah, I think that there's probably something to that.
But Derek Carr... I don't know, I think the Chiefs are still really good.
The blueprint is Derek Carr had his best game by far as a professional. This was finally, it paid off seven years.
It as a seven-year bump for Derek Carr. And more than that, it's like having rugs, because Derek Carr, the big knock on Derek Carr outside of his very tiny little hands, very, very small hands.
His like oily arms. Very, very small hands.
The smallest hands. Is that he doesn't take risks.
You know, he doesn't take the deep shot, but rugs changes that for him.

And he was taking the deep shot and he was making the whole offense kind of

work better when you can, when you can take the top off and that running game

in the offensive line is legit.

So yeah, blueprint game.

I think it is a blueprint game.

I think so too.

I'm going to withhold any judgment on the chiefs offensive line because they

played like shit today, but I'm not going to talk about Mitchell Schwartz until I see Jeff Schwartz comment on Twitter that it wasn't his fault. Right.
So this is me as a professional respecting someone who's played the game to tell me how his brother did. How Mahomes is drifting out of the pocket.
Yes, exactly. So it's not the offensive line's fault.
Exactly. He's not biased, not because he's a former offensive lineman and his brother's on the team.
He's just telling you Mah telling you Mahomes drifts. Which I actually do agree with.
Yeah, he is right about that. I do want to say to John Gruden, you should not have accepted that penalty.
Earlier in the game, Patrick Mahomes threw, I think the ball went about 75 yards in the air to Tyreek Hill. Who caught it.
There was a hold. John Gruden, you love football.
I love football. By accepting that penalty, you just deprived future generations.
John Gruden. Disagree.
If he was in Gruden's quarterback camp, if he was watching that play, you would just be nutting. You would be stint, tantra.
You're missing it, PFT. Full orgasm for five hours on repeat.
John Gruden accepted that penalty not because he accepted the penalty because he didn't want to give up a touchdown.

He accepted that penalty because now that play becomes lore for real football guys

who can say, you know, the best throw I've ever seen didn't even count.

And it's like a fable that you whisper to people.

In 80 years, you're sitting at a crackling fire and you're like,

I once saw a man throw at 70 yards and it came back for a hold on mitchell schwartz i don't know if it was mitchell every real fan has to have one of those plays that will never be featured on a highlight film and it might be a play that gets taken back in fact i can tell you the best play of jason campbell's nfl career was against the cowboys he rolled out to his left threw his body at the goal line. It was like seven yards out.
And it gave the R words at the time a lead, like a four-point lead with maybe one minute left in the fourth quarter, something like that. And then there was a bullshit phantom hold on the right side of the line.
But I still remember that play. It makes me feel like I'm smart.
So thank you. Yes.
I stand corrected. Yes.
Thank you, John Gruden. John Gruden helped the football community.
We're the real. I'm going to remember that.
You'll know posers. That is Patrick Mahomes' best throw by far.
He was getting hit. Posers will tell you that Patrick Mahomes' throw against the 49ers in the Super Bowl was his best throw.
No. No, it was week five, 2020, on a play that didn't even count.
Yeah. One minute and 30 seconds into the game.
Listen, my mom saw that throw in the Super Bowl okay she could tell me that was a good throw she did not watch this week 5 game in a loss to Derek Carr you probably want to hear the hits play where we've been watching this band for a long ass time uh I made one note about Derek Carr here I I think that he just looks better when he's playing outside I think you know you have inside cats indoor cats and outdoor cats yeah i think derrick carr's an outdoor cat yeah he looks way better when he's playing underneath the sun well he usually does play outside he's now just recently started playing yeah but i think he there's something about the the natural sun it's probably the mascara it's like a natural black on the oil yeah yeah um i have so i threw this out there when we were watching the games i have a take that i I'm working on. I'm not ready yet.
But essentially, if people want to help me with this, try to find some film, I think defenders are not hitting Mahomes as hard as they possibly can because no one wants to be the guy that hurts Mahomes. Interesting.
It feels like when he starts running, there are times in a game where he'll scramble and he'll like they'll almost all agree to give up the play at the same time like he'll kind of fall into a defender and be like all right the play's over like we're good here it's over right there's certain quarterbacks that get teed off on right you can tell the defenders like to hit them a lot just smoke them and Mah smoke him. And Mahomes is not that.
I think everyone's like, Mahomes is so liked, so loved, so exceptional, that if you're the guy who fucks Mahomes up, people will blame you forever. Who do you think the quarterbacks are that get hit the hardest intentionally? I would say Eli Manning was.
Jay Cutler. Jay Cutler got, yeah.
People went at him. He took a few shots.
Yeah, you know what we need? He's just because you know that Fitzpatrick's going to run you over. You know, Jameis.
Oh my God, they loved hitting Jameis. Yes, yes.
We need like Brian Cushing to come out of retirement to settle this. Because he was the one that would just...
No, yeah, he wouldn't care. He'd hit Mahomes.
So you want Brian Cushing to come back in and just headhunt just headhunt yeah tell everybody hey i saw patrick mahomes drinking a pumpkin spice latte you're like what the fuck are you fucking serious bro that bro 500 million dollars man is drinking fucking coffee bullshit starbucks uh all right so the chiefs got statement our blueprint gamed i actually don't think that it's we can also say what we said to dion as well that it's they lost early. I'm going to say this.
It was a wake up call. Yeah.
If you're a Chiefs fan. They've been flirting with this.
They flirted with the Chargers. They flirted with the Patriots.
Better it happens week five than week 16. They are not infallible.
Maybe it's just you could probably put it under the category of you're going to get the best shot because you shoot a bowl chance. Because what they did to the Ravens makes you think like, okay, they have that gear if they want to.
They just don't want to every week. And then Travis Kelsey tweeted that he has to do better, which thanks, dude.
Travis Kelsey, didn't he have like 100 some yards? Sure. He had a pretty good game.
He said that's on me. The do better.
Help me translate this. Sammy Watkins, I'm paraphrasing here.
He's in the cult. But after the game also he said that's on me to do better um help me translate this sammy walkins i'm paraphrasing here he's in the cult but after the game he said uh everything happens for a reason i don't care what that reason is i just want to learn from it and move on so he's acknowledging that it happened for a reason but he's also saying like doesn't matter that it happened he's like admitting that reasons do make things happen, but he's also not letting those, the reasons that things happen influence how he's going to deal with it.
But he wants to learn from it. But he's, so once he gets, I think it's, I think what he's saying is it's like a reason.
Once he squeezes everything out of the reason, he'll throw it to this. It's a, basically the reason is a grape and he's making it a raisin.
The reason becomes a raisin and then he doesn't eat raisins. Okay.
And the stuff that's inside the raisin before he squeezes out. He's leaving that behind.
I think that's how raisins get made, right? I think you just leave them out in the sun for a while. So what? I like Derek Carr.
Yeah. Perfect.
Boom. He's the reason.
So there it is. He is the reason for he's the reason and the reason you lost.
All right. Next cardinals jets we don't talk a lot about this game the cardinals proved what they are which is not a bad team remember we said this on friday those are not frauds yeah if the cardinals don't win this game convincingly we officially are just like the cardinals can't be taken for real um i just the only thing i had was the jets uh in the most Jets like bad teams just find ways to have comical errors throughout a game.
And the Jets had it where they got they were like first and 10 on the 20. So they're in the red zone.
They went for it on fourth and one didn't get it like three plays later, they get a pick. So they're back in the red zone on the 10, and they settle for a field goal.
So they run eight plays in the red zone and get three points. And it's like, oh, that's why the Jets are the Jets.
They suck. Yeah, if I'm Sam Darnold, I would milk this injury for a while.
I'd be like, I got mono again. Sorry, didn't learn my lesson.
Went out clubbing in Hoboken.

Made out with a couple sixes.

You know how it goes out.

If I were Sam Donald, there's no reason to come back right now.

Joe Flacco actually looked pretty

good today. I'll give Joe Flacco credit.

He looked better than Denver Joe Flacco.

He plays better at sea level.

He's like, whatever.

He's not good.

All I want is for Joe to just hang around.

By the way, he's another quarterback that defense is absolutely

the He plays better at sea level. He's like, whatever.
Yeah. He's just, he's not good.
All I want is for Joe to just hang around. By the way, he's another quarterback that defenses absolutely love to hit.
Yes. I think because he's kind of big and a little bit soft.
And he wears those shoulder pads that have like the big boxy plate on his chest. And there are certain quarterbacks, Joe Flacco, Eli Manning, Matt Ryan actually is one of them too, where every now and then they'll try to run and they'll totally forget that they're the slowest people on earth.
So they try to get it going and then you'll see a linebacker doing a light jog running six times faster than them and just punish them. Yeah, Joe Flacco would also, he used to run out of his knee brace sometimes, like his poor scum, just make that thing explode as he's trying to slide.
But yeah, the Jets stink. Adam Gase, I don't know.
I think the worst punishment that the Jets could give Adam Gase is to make him continue to coach the Jets throughout the rest of the season. I've been saying it.
I don't know why Adam Gase is even showing up. I mean, show up, but don't even do a game plan.
It's so stupid. I mean, you can just recycle game plans at this point.

Nobody's going to tell the difference.

I've never understood why an NFL coach like Adam Gase, who has had two head coaching jobs.

So you have to imagine what?

He's got at least like five, six million dollars

probably in the bank.

Probably a little bit more.

Maybe a little more,

depending on how he does his money, whatever.

If I were Adam Gase, I'd be like, fuck this, I'm out.

I'm going to... million dollars probably in the bank probably a little bit more maybe a little more depending on how he does his money whatever if i were adam case i'd be like fuck this i'm out i'm gonna go coach high school football and have a nice life yeah like dominate high school football i have a nice you're giving him a little bit too much credit you think i didn't say college no i didn't say dominate high school you get worked in college you get worked in d3 i'm saying high school football maybe maybe go out go out to Montana and do it where they don't even have enough kids in the high school.
Play seven on seven. Yeah.
And dominate that and just live your life. Keep him away from Arch Manning.
Maybe that's his grand scheme. It's like, I'm going to go down to New Orleans and ruin Arch Manning's career.
That is like the final boss of Adam Gase. If I can destroy this absolute stud, this kid that everyone thinks is going to be the 1-1 in three years' time, then I will have accomplished my full form of Adam Gaisness.

He's bad.

He is really bad.

Okay.

Next game, Eagles-Steelers.

Great game.

We got a Mike Tomlin quote alert.

He said after the game, the strength of the pack is the pack.

We should actually get tattoos with that.

Strength of the pack is the pack. It's like a fist.

Yeah, if you're... Mike Tomlin quote alert.
He said after the game, the strength of the pack is the pack. We should actually get tattoos with that.
Strength of the pack

is the pack. It's like a fist.
Yeah, if you're

wondering where the strength comes from,

well, dude, it's the pack.

So figure it out.

But this game,

so we'll talk about the

Eagles. The Steelers first.
Chase

Claypool was incredible.

And it just reminds you that Mike Tomlin and Kevin Colbert the GM they just find wide receivers no matter what it makes you realize just how bad Lima Swede must have been yes and how bad Martavis Bryant must have been well he had issues he was good yeah he was really he had issues but so I went and I looked through it um they have so they obviously have

a few misses but they've never drafted a guy in the first round and almost every time they draft

a guy he's like the sixth seventh or even later wide receiver off the board so Chase Claypool this

year Deontay Johnson who's pretty good who was good last year had like 60 catches and over 600

yards James Washington in the second round in 2018 Juju in the second round in 2017

I'm not sure what's going on. who's pretty good who was good last year had like 60 catches and over 600 yards James Washington in the second round in 2018 Juju in the second round in 2017 Emmanuel Sanders in the third in 2010 Antonio Brown in in 2010 the sixth round and Mike Wallace in the third round in 2009 all they do is draft great receivers their average I combined them all their average are picking the 10th 10th receiver off the board.
And they find these guys. So think about it.
Like, every time they pick a receiver, all these guys have gone off the board in front of them. And they're like, no, we found the guy we want.
Like, Chase Claypool was the 11th receiver pick this year. And he's awesome.
It's still weird to me thinking of Pittsburgh as being a passing team. Right.
I still think, like, going to put Jerome Bettis back there, grind out like 3.3 yards per carry, and beat you down with their defense. They've still got a really good defense.
Secondary's not so great. Secondary's not great right now.
It's got issues. The pass rush is good.
Yep. Bud Dupree's out there slinging Hondas.
TJ Watt. Yeah.
This is Big Ben coming off of not really a buy this is actually big ben battling back from last week not getting to play football because another team had coronavirus well let's wait you're putting it lightly is big ben's personal holocaust yeah not being able to play football and not being told that he's not gonna be able to play football until the last second right because that Because that was really like, yeah, you want to say like 200,000 plus Americans dead, whatever. Big Ben had a bye week.
He didn't even know he was going to have a bye week. And that's a tragedy.
This week, Alex Smith got in, meaning that Big Ben's comeback player of the year, for which he made a documentary, for your consideration, consider Big Ben for this award. He got upstaged by Alex Smith.
So Ben was like, if I'm not going to – it looks like comeback player of the year is off the table. Maybe I'll just try to win the MVP again.
And Dak, where Big Ben was probably watching that game, he's like, Dak's such a pussy. Like, that's not even an injury.
He's like, I've had that before. Yeah, I talked to my doctor.
He said there were five other quarterbacks that have that same injury. All right, so the Eagles.
I actually, this, for Eagles fans, you lose to the Steelers, but you have a win today, like overall, because the Giants are still very bad. The Washington football team is very bad.
And then Dak Prescott goes down. And guess what? Carson Wentz looks like he's kind of figured it out.
Like he's kind of fixed whatever was happening in the first few weeks where he was god-awful because he's still got no one to throw to besides Travis Fulgham, who, shout out him, he's like a star now. But when they get a few guys back, I think the Eagles, I think we're going to be talking about the Eagles in like five weeks and be like, damn, look at this team.
They look so much better. There's also something about Wentz when he runs.
His body gets longer. So like when he's diving forward, he gets like extremely horizontal.
That's like Kyler Murray's body gets wider. Yeah, you're right.
He does get a little bit thicker. He does this thing.
Yeah, he puts his arms out to the side. He looks like one of those characters from Mario Brothers.
A little Goombas, right? Carson Wentz, he grows out. So he turns into like the inflatable man guy.
He's always going forward. And then he dives directly forward.
Say what you want about Carson Wentz, but I guess he's the exact right amount of dumb where he hasn't realized like, oh, this is how I always get injured. So I'm going to keep doing this.
And it is what makes him good. But yeah, he's looking like, he's like 80% of what Carson Wentz used to be.
But if you're an Eagles fan, you were freaking out in the first couple weeks. Like, what the fuck is going on? He had two picks today, but I think one was a Hail Mary and one wasn't really his fault.
So he's... I really do think if you're an Eagles fan sitting here on Sunday night after week five, you're winning this division.
I feel very confident saying it. Hail Mary was another one of those plays.
The I feel smart play. Because I was like, they should have batted that down because that's like a 60-yard swing right there.
It's fourth down. He should not have intercepted.
He should have hit the ball into the ground. But it's stats.
Yeah, but I felt smart when I was like, he should not have picked that off. So the Steelers, big test next week against the Browns, which will be fun.
But overall, this was one of the best games we had today because there were some games that were really duds i mean the cardinals jets the ravens game like there's this one was actually back and forth fun to watch and the eagles they were dead in the third quarter and they came back and scored 15 points in a row and i think if you like everything's kind of fucked up for the eagles right now they have so many injuries they the only team that has injuries. They're the only team that forgot to turn injuries off before the season started.
So with everything that's happened to start the season, I really do think you're sitting there saying we're in a good spot. Yeah, I have a suggested rule change that came out of this game.
So I think it was Carson Wentz that threw a pass. The ball was like knocked to the ground.
It bounced twice and then got picked up by the Steelers defense and returned like it was an interception or a fumble. If you do that to an opposing quarterback and the ball is very clearly an intercepted pass, the other quarterback should be allowed to kick that guy in the nuts for running down the field and making everybody think that it was an interception or a fumble or something like that when it very clearly wasn't.
But I love those guys who get too excited. I feel cheated by it.
It's their moment. I feel cheated by it.
And they look back and they're like, why is no one chasing me? Like, well, because the whistle blew and the ball hit the ground five times, you idiot. You know what? You can tell that's a holdover from a well-coached team in training camp where they're like, anytime there's a ball, you run to the end zone.
Joe Judge. Run all the way through or else you're going to be running a lap.
Yes, yes. You feel it.
It's Joe Judge leaking through. Those are also the teams that have their entire kickoff team sprint through the end zone five seconds after the ref calls for a touchback.
They swarm to the ball. They do.
That's a good coach team. All right.
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Okay. Rams, Washington football team, the big day alex smith uh there was a lot of hand wringing people were very nervous for him i was happy for him because i there was a lot of people who were like projecting like alex smith you have so much money why are you doing this he clearly wants to he wanted to prove to himself he could get back it's a great story now only question to you, BFD, is at what point can we criticize his play? Not yet.
Okay. Not yet.
Perfect. I wasn't going to.
I think he had 36 yards passing. They were the 36 most glorious yards in NFL history.
I wasn't going to say that they ran 26 plays with him and they gained 25 yards. No, we're not going to.
Or the fact that no completion was over six air yards. I wasn't saying any of that.
Big Cat, the most important side of the day, he's healthy. Heart.
The heart. His heart was off the charts.
No, it wasn't. It's incredible that he's back.
I'm very happy. It is possible to feel good for Alex Smith while also feeling extremely uncomfortable watching him get back in for that first time.
Like watching a Russian bridge walking video, right? Like, you watch and you're like, damn, those guys, that is fucking incredible. Meanwhile, your hands are sweating and your testicles hurt.
I like the Russians that climb up to the top of the building. That's what I'm saying.
Those guys. And then hang off.
Yeah, those guys. That's the video I'm talking about.
Like, it felt like Alex Smith's first couple plays back in should have been sponsored by Red Bull. Because they were just like, it was an extreme sport watching it.
You don't know what's going to happen. When Aaron Donald, like, jumped on him.
He got sacked six times. I held my breath.
So, actually the best stat of the day for Alex Smith, is that he got sacked six times. I'm cool with feeling nervous about it.
I was more talking to the people who were like, why is he doing this? This is so stupid. This fucking idiot football guy is doing this for glory.
It's like, no, he loves playing football. He wanted to get back.
He wanted to prove it to himself. It is very Washington football team that the feel-good story of their day was that their quarterback didn't get another massive fracture in his leg after having 17 surgeries.
He also – the Dwayne Haskins thing is so weird now. He had diarrhea, big cat.
Who? Dwayne Haskins. That's why he wasn't there today.
No other reason. He had a stomach virus.
Like Kyle Allen, okay, he scored a touchdown. He was fine.
But Alex Smith, again, great story, very happy for him. He's not a starting quarterback anymore.
So you're basically saying like you can't make the argument that Dwayne Haskins is worse than the other two guys. So what's up? Well, he had diarrhea today, as I already said.
And watching him out there with diarrhea, I would be more uncomfortable watching a man going through bubblegut than I was watching Alex Smith play on like half of a leg. It's just bizarre because you said to yourself, they're doing it for the NFC East, everyone sucks.
We're in evaluation mode. We already said that.
The Rivera's in evaluation mode this year,

which means that we can lose every single game,

and it doesn't make a difference because we're not planning on winning anything.

But in retrospect, it probably wasn't a good idea to draft a guy

because your owner's son was friends with him.

That's what the Cowboys have done, but it's not a proven track record.

And I'll be honest.

I wanted Dwayne Haskins.

I was very excited when they drafted him,

mostly because he was a good quarterback in college and because he was a local guy in dc so my reasons for wanting him drafted were not i wouldn't call myself a like a draft nick mil kuyper would get mad at me for my reasons wanting him on the team but i think uh best case scenario now it's like just try to trade him try to get a good rounder maybe Maybe. Josh Rosen, I think he had a second rounder.
Josh Rosen played one year. Yeah, but I would say that...
Wade Heston's now in his second. But I don't think he's played 16 games yet.
No, but I'm saying it's another year into his contract. I'm talking about by year, by games.
Right, but I'm saying the contract matters. If you're going to trade for a guy who you're hoping becomes a guy Yeah, a guy who becomes a dude Right, and Josh Rosen would probably be you got him in his second year, going into his second year maybe he didn't pick up bad habits.
Clearly Dwayne Haskins has been on the football team for too long. But if you were to, yeah, well that's really how the market value is set.
It's like how long were you on the football team? Right. And your value decreases at that point.
Too long. But I think Dwayne Haskins has played, like, he got, what is this, five games into year two.
So if he went to another team and played a little bit this year, it might be worth a second-round pick. If the football team gets a second-round pick for Dwayne Haskins, I'll be happy with him.
I'll wish him the best. And that's really the story.
But the other thing that – That's the story being a football team fan is like my biggest highlights have been rooting for guys that used to be on the football team to do well when they get on new football teams. The other thing that changes it, and I might be way wrong, but Josh Rosen, like everyone's like, oh, well, they're going to draft Kyler.
So like maybe the Cardinals are trading him not because he's bad but because they have someone else whereas the Redskins have officially just been like he sucks yeah we don't like him so yeah so they've they've they've sunk their own their own uh equity here yeah well that's what we do yeah we've done that repeatedly so what you're saying is his trade value would increase if we draft another quarterback that would be his replacement if you had he didn't play another game right and well now you've already ruined it because you benched him for alex smith who well no we now we benched him for a kyle allen yeah who actually played well when he was out there today the whole thing like you needed to draft a guy while he was still the starter it's going to shock you to realize this but the football team has mismanaged yet another quarterback at this point I want to go back to week one when you were like, this team might be good. Listen, we're a game and a half out of first place.
It's true. We're in the hunt.
And right now in this season, you never know. I don't want the defeatist PFT.
I want the, this could be something special. Well, it'd be crazy.
Like if we win, if we win six games this year, we're going to be in the hunt. We're going to be in that graphic.
The entire NFC East is going to be in the hunt, really fucking with everybody's playoff picture because you're going to see, like, the 1 in 12 Giants still being mathematically alive at the end of the year. Mathematically alive, that would be – that's huge for me as a football team fan.
Yeah, of course. I always talk about – if you can be in the graphic by, you know, after Thanksgiving, that is huge.
That is huge. I do want to say I've moved on mentally, as Warren Sharp advised me to do.
I've moved on from Dwayne Haskins. I'm focusing now either on Trey Lance.
I know you like Trey Lance a lot, right? I just like the name. I just said Trey Lance a lot.
Put that in the Bermans for three years from now here. Or I want the 300-pound tight end from Auburn.
Yes, he's sick. That wild caddy was running was so good.
Kyle Pitts is who you really want from Florida. He's an awesome tight end.
The Rams, I feel like they've played on the East Coast every single week. So sucks for them.
I'm looking at their schedule right now. They do have to play the Dolphins in like three weeks.
So I guess they'll just be back. We need to talk about Jared Goff's spike.
Jared Goff. It was raining.
Jared, we love you despite what Hank might say. Hank hates you.
It was raining. You got into the end zone.
You know what? I'll say this. Say something nice about Jared Goff.
I have Jared Goff and Tom Brady on my fantasy team, and Jared is my starter. Oh.
Yeah. Well, Tom.
No. Doesn't know.
Out of. He's senile.
I actually think that Tom Brady is more senile than we think. He thought that it was about to be the start of the fourth quarter.
That's why he put the fours up. He forgot that the fourth quarter even happened.
He probably got waterboarded by Alex Guerrero after that game. You need to drink more water.
Because your brain doesn't work anymore. We're going to flood you.
We're going to drown you internally. Yeah.
But Jared, say something nice about Jared Goff's spike. The spike that he had where he basically like threw the ball straight up into the air was better than Kirk Cousins' fumbles that he had.
Yes. It looked slightly better than those.
Yes. It's actually, I just pulled up the game.
It says Goff's TD run is much better than his celebratory spike. Damn.
It was raining. It was wet.
It's not, hey, guess what? He got in the end zone. You can do whatever you want once you get in the end zone.
All right, next up, Bengals, Ravens. This game sucked.
It was just, the Ravens were in cruise control. I felt bad for Joe Burrow.
He was getting the shit kicked out of him. Yeah.
AJ Green quit on the team. That highlight.
What did he do? I didn't see that one. Oh, you didn't? No.
Joe Burrow threw an interception. AJ Green probably couldn't have caught it, but he didn't even try.
And then Marlon Humphries, I think, was the one who got it, was running it back. And AJ Green was standing next to him, and he started running, almost like he looked like he was looking to block someone to free.
Like he had no interest whatsoever in tackling him when he was standing right next to him. Like a total, I'm giving up on this season.
I'm giving up on this team. I'm out.
See you later. I'm going to blame the football.
Joe Burrow said last week he didn't want to accept the game ball because that football had too many good plays left in it. I think he just got a bad ball today.
Watch this. Watch this.
All right. Tell me what you think.
Okay. All right.
All right. Yeah.
AJ Green, see ya. Do you see how he runs next to him? Yep.
It was so, so bad. So I don't know what the hell that's about.
He's probably got a hurt ankle, Big Cat. Listen, he just starts running right next to him and doesn't even want – like he turns.
Like I don't want to have anything to do with this. He was guarding against the lateral.
He thought that they were going to try to return. Even though he was looking the other way as well.
Shout out to the ref, though. He was running off the field.
The best play of the game was the ref for avoiding a hit by Lamar Jackson. He was probably trying to hit Lamar Jackson and then fell down to the side because that's what defenders do when they try to tackle him in the open field.
It looked like they simultaneously tear both their patella tendons and just crumpled to the ground. That was the highlight of the game.
Was the ref falling down when Lamar Jackson ran by him. Yes.
Hank, by the way, if you want to get your swag back, because Cam Newton's been out, the Patriots haven't played, they lost to the Chiefs, you've got to start the Patriots fan thing of, well, A.J. Green, we're going to trade for A.J.
Green. A.J.
Green would look good in the Patriots. Yeah.
Because I think he does want to be traded. Rock and refill, baby.
Yeah, rock and refill. Yeah, this game sucked, though.
The Ravens are just better. Again, follow the rule.
The Ravens will shit pump inferior opponents. This was a never-in-doubt game where Joe Burrow had no chance because the Ravens' defense...
They're bullies. The Ravens are bullies.
I think the defenses also like to hit Joe Burrow. Yeah.
Well, because he's tough. They might not like to.
They like to test them. Yeah, they like to test them, and it might be a crime of opportunity because that offensive line, it's just absolutely atrocious.
How much does it suck? I think Patrick Queen picked off Joe Burrow. Yeah.
How much does it suck to be like, oh, I went from a national champion to a team that's going to be in the playoffs in like a one or two seed and you're on the Bengals. How do the Ravens always draft a player where it's like, oh, yeah, holy shit, how is that guy still available? That's a great pick from them.
Yeah, J.K. Dobbins is awesome.
But, yeah, this game, who cares? Who do the Ravens have? We need to start how the Ravens play the Eagles next. That's that doesn't fall under my, I think the Eagles are a little too frisky to be like completely inferior in that respect.
I think they're going to beat the Eagles next week. They don't play some bad teams until later in the season.
All right. Next up Jaguars, Texans.
We were wrong by the way. We have to put a little tickler about football? A tickler file on this.
We bash Romeo Cornell as an interim head coach, saying he doesn't have the pizzazz, he doesn't have the piss and vinegar. I forgot two things.
One is he's 3-1 now as an interim head coach. So he's close.
He's teetering on being like, we got to start betting on Romeo Cornell as an interim head coach. Two, I forgot when he was the Chiefs interim head coach, he beat the Packers and broke their 18-game win streak or 19-game win streak.
Romeo Cornell might be a good interim head coach. He might be.
I think Bill O'Brien would have won this game, too. I think in this case, it was more just like, we don't have Bill O'Brien anymore.
It could have been literally anyone. Well, and more than that, I think it was they're the Jaguars.
Because the Jaguars, they were playing like, I'm excited for Maction to come back. The Jaguars are Maction.
They missed kicks. They missed two kicks and then because they missed two kicks they went for it on fourth and like, I don't know, fourth and goal from the eight.
And it was that hilarious fumble that was like, what was this play? What is going on? They're just, it's kind of getting sad in Jackson. I think there's a pretty simple metric that you can look at when you're trying to figure out if a team is just like woefully bad or just a franchise, if it's being run really, really badly.
And that's how many consecutive years do they have an awful kicking situation? Yeah. Because it seems like good teams, good franchises, at the minimum they'll keep a kicker for three years.
Right. But teams like the Jaguars or the football team.
Just keep going through kickers. The Bears.
They're kickers. They could have a jersey like the Browns have for quarterbacks for all the kickers that they cycle through.
And with the Jaguars, I think this is like their fifth or sixth ring kicker this year. It's pretty bad.

Houska. I do think that just bum Phillips' hat and a headset could have probably won this game.

I agree.

They would have played harder for a dead head coach than for Bill O'Brien.

I agree.

I agree.

So, yeah, this was a stinker of a game.

Again, we had a few weird stinker games, and this was one of them.

I don't really have anything else on it besides the fact that, I don't know, the Texans are going to win a couple games now, maybe? Texans are in the running for the best worst team. Yes.
My power rankings are the best worst teams tied at number one, Vikings and Texans. Okay.
I think the Chargers should be in there. I don't think that they're one of the worst teams, though.
But they're one and three. Yeah, that's better than the winless Vikings.
No, the Vikings have a win. They beat the Texans.
They beat the Texans. So your rankings are kind of screwed up.
But the Vikings lost today. The Texans won today, so they're still tied at number one.
Yeah, the Texans, I don't know. They're such a weird, stupid team.
And then Deshaun Watson is incredible half the time. And then half the time'll throw a wide open receiver right at their shins a million miles an hour how attractive of a head job head coaching job do you think the Texans are compared to the Falcons I don't know I think they they're they're more attractive but you also have to I'd say more attractive Arthur Blank doesn't though.
It took him forever to fire Dan Quinn. But he creeps you out all the time.
Yeah, but I would always take... Everyone says you need a franchise quarterback.
You need an owner that's just way too stupid and loyal. That always can play for me.
I would get the goosebumps hanging out next to Arthur Blank. Who can I schmooze more in the meeting with the owners? Because if you get the owner in your back pocket as an NFL head coach, you can stay on forever.
Yeah, I don't know. It really is the key.
Be best friends with the owner. He'll never fire you.
I just would not want to be best friends with Arthur Blank. That would be worse than not being a coach.
Yeah, but you'd also probably get to see cool shit. You'd write a cool book afterwards.
It's like a ghost tour every day. You know what he probably does when he's pulling out all the stops? Yeah, he does a ghost tour of Mercedes-Benz Superdome.
He's like, check this out. I know it's Sunday, but I got the key to Chick-fil-A.
Right. And he goes in and makes you some Chick-fil-A.
But they're actually not Chick-fil-A. It's like they're ghost Chick-fil-A.
They're actually poisoned, and now you're under my spell. Right.
And you you're never gonna go for it on fourth down from the 10 yard line ever again it's actually their baby fetuses and QAnon is right out the door yeah I can see that yeah yeah alright Dolphins 49ers Fitzpatrick like should the Dolphins trade Tua I was wondering I mean I'm joking but he threw for 350 yards and three touchdowns if the Dolphins trade Tua? I was wondering. I mean, I'm joking, but he threw for 350 yards and three touchdowns.
If the Dolphins go 8-8, are you going to start Tua next year? What if Fitzpatrick's a franchise quarterback? I don't think that you can. Fuck.
He was so good. And I don't know what's going on with the 49ers.
Like, their hangover is officially the worst hangover ever. Well, Jimmy Garoppolo stunk out loud today.
And thank God he's coming back from injury, so you can be like, well, we brought him back too fast. He's not healthy.
Because if that was not – yeah, if you can do the he's not healthy, we rushed him back, you can save a little face because, man, was he bad. I really don't see the difference between Jimmy Garoppolo, Nick Mullins, and C.J.
Beathard. But C.J.
Beathard was bad, too. Yeah.
They were all bad. Yeah, you can start either one of them in any game, and I don't think that the Lions—like, how many points do you think Jimmy Garoppolo's worth? Like, a starting, healthy Jimmy Garoppolo.
A point? Yeah, probably a point. Yeah.
They're essentially the same quarterback. I mean, if they had both so bad— Jimmy just drives a nicer car.
Yeah. That's really what's killing them, is their defense is just ravaged by injuries and i don't know i mean that's a that's an nfc west is a miserable a miserable division to play in because every team is good or above the competent level so that was an ass kicking though 43 17 it was never even close brian flores might be a good head coach i think he's's a very good head coach.
I think he might be a good head coach. He doesn't have I mean, they're building talent there, but they're, they are competitive in every game.
Like, they might lose games by a lot of, they might get blown, but it's not, you know when you watch a blowout, but like they're trying and they're fighting and they're not giving up. When they lose badly, they'll still have that.

And they've got a shitload of draft picks, don't they?

They used a bunch this year, but yes, I think they still have.

They've got the Texans draft picks.

Yeah.

Last year, the Mika Fitzpatrick trade and also the, who's the bong guy?

Laramie Tunsil.

Laramie Tunsil trade.

Gas mask, yeah.

Got him a bunch of picks.

That guy never gets COVID.

Yeah.

So they do.

I think they do have it.

And they have Tua.

They have two of which I don't... I think they should just double down, trade Tua, get even more picks.
I'm looking at their... Yeah, I mean, they have been in every single game.
They were in that game against the Patriots week one. They lost by three to the Bills.
They are in that Seahawks game till the fourth quarter.

Yeah.

They don't... They're in every game.

When they were tanking last year,

there was still a team that was like,

okay, we're going to be...

We're going to make it look like

we're not tanking.

There were some games last year

where they got the shit kicked out.

But yes.

But for the most part,

they were like,

we're the team that's perfect at tanking.

Imagine if the Dolphins make the playoffs.

Imagine if the Dolphins with Fitzpatrick

make the playoffs.

We could only be so lucky.

Seven teams in.

They have the Jets twice. They have the Bengals.
That's it. They have to play the Patriots and the Chiefs.
It's tough. And they have to play the Rams.
Fuck. We need like two more.
The Broncos. They have the Jets twice.
The Broncos and the Bengals. So that's four wins.
So now they're at six. Can they get, I'll read you the rest of it.
Can they get, or say eight and eight maybe? Yeah. Eight and eight might not get you in.
No, probably not in the AFC. All right.
So they need three more wins out of these opponents. Rams, at Cardinals, Chargers.
They could beat the Cardinals. Cardinals are a candy-ass team.
Yep. Rams at Cardinals, Chargers, Chiefs, Patriots at Raiders, Bills.
They could get two more wins out of that. They could finish 8-8.
Yeah, I think that they could. It's actually a – Wow, I'm getting excited for Fitzpatrick to maybe make the playoffs.
It's a fun thought experiment to be like, if you're the Dolphins and you clearly love amassing draft picks, like you got rid of all, you're always rebuilding. As long as Bill Belichick is coaching in that division, you can get away with being in rebuild mode for probably like four seasons without anybody really starting to figure out like, hey, you're not really making any moves yet.
So if you keep Fitzpatrick as your starting quarterback, and then you just get like a shitload of first-round draft picks, I think you could probably start Fitzy for another year, year and a half. Five years.
Five years. Maybe two or three years.
And then maybe draft another quarterback behind him. He beats that guy out.
Because there's no rookie that's going to show up and be able to beat Ryan Fitzpatrick out in training camp because I'm convinced that Fitzpatrick knows how to act like he's being a good mentor to the young guys, but secretly train them wrong as a joke to fuck them up. And you have to trust him because he went to Harvard.
Exactly. So there you go.
Ryan Fitzpatrick in the playoffs for the Dolphins. Let's actually find that bet on the Barstool Sportsbook and let's go in on it.
The Dolphins to make the playoffs. Like, it could happen.
I could see 9-7. They've been in every game.
Yeah. 9-7 might not get them in.
The AFC is so tough. That Raiders game is going to pretty much be the decided.
Because if you look at the AFC right now, the entire AFC North has four wins except for the Bengals. There's three teams that are 4-1 or better.
And then you still, you know, the Titans, the Colts, the Chiefs, the Raiders, the Bills, the Patriots, I mean, there's... Fuck.
Come on, Dolphins. We might become a Dolphins podcast.
They're pretty fucking fun to watch. They're fun to watch.
Fitzpatrick is fun to watch. Watch him go out and throw six picks next week.
That's fun. Yeah, but it's gonna suck for our Dolphins future that we haven't put in yet.
John Gruden... What about the Bills? What? It's got a lot of dogs in the AFC East.
Well, yeah, we like the Bills. Well, the Bills are our Greyhound.
The Dolphins are our mutt. Like, the Bills are our Labrador.
The Dolphins are our little fucking mutt that we found behind a trash can they're a rescue hank yeah the the the bills are beautiful you know what happened beautiful golden retriever with beautiful hair that we just brush all day and this little yapping dog comes and shows up i'm like you got spunk we'll let you hang out yeah you know what happened we were just fostering the dolphins for a while they grew on us. We were trying to find a good home for them, trying to pass them off,

trying to make Jake really fall in love with his native Dolphins,

and we just realized we loved them too much to let them go.

And then also, I like the Steelers, but whatever.

Okay, before we get to the next game...

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So we got two games left. Browns, Colts.
Of course, Cody Parkey doinks one in. Did you see Cody Parkey after he kicked the ball? He was watching it like a hawk.
It hit the first upright, and everybody else started to celebrate because they knew that it was bouncing off and going in. Cody's eyes were locked on that ball, making sure it did not hit the crossbar.
And it made it by, I don't know, seven, eight yards. So shout out Cody.
Where was that when we needed it? But, yeah, the Brown Browns first 4-1 start since 1994 when Bill Belichick and Nick Saban were on the coaching staff it's crazy it's crazy the Browns might be good they look good we're going to find out next week against the Steelers they look really good well here's a fun stat I saw this from Nick Carnes on Twitter he said Baker Mayfield has officially surpassed Ben Roethlisberger as the winningest active quarterback at First Energy Stadium in Cleveland. There we go.
He took Cleveland back. Hell yes.
Finally. So that game's going to be awesome.
What I don't like is the sad Brown stats that are starting to become normal again. The sad Brown stats that we're all used to are like, oh, this is the first time that the Browns have won in October at home since 1974 or whatever.
They always have these ones that go way, way far back. First time 4-1 since 1994.
Yeah, today the big sad Brown stats were like, oh, that's the first pick 6 that they've given up. Or that's the first pick 6 that they've returned since all the way back in week 15 of last year.
They're starting to become normal again. Right.
And I miss the sad Brown stats. We've got to hold on to something.
If you have any good sad Brown stats, please send them our way because I need to hold on to that for a little bit. Yes, I agree.
So the Browns might be good. Like they have an MO.
We talked about it last week. They run the ball.
They had a balanced attack. Baker made a couple mistakes, but he also, I think, threw for over 250.
So guess what? And Miles Garrett is so good. Their defense, the Browns defense is not great, but Miles Garrett is one of the best players in the NFL.
So I would rather have a defense that's not good with one exceptional player than a defense that's just like eh all across the board because at least miles garrett you can you can have a game where it's like oh he's just gonna wreck shit yeah so last week uh the defensive scheme that they were running had basically your standard four down linemen and for whatever reason uh they were double teaming every single pass rusher except for miles yeah it Garrett. Yeah, it was the Cowboys game.
Yeah, the Cowboys game. They were double-teaming everybody except for Myles Garrett.
Today, they said, let's get fucking crazy with it, and they brought out this weird formation a couple times where they put all their down linemen way off to the side, like starting on the outside shoulder of the guard, and then just had Myles Garrett go up against three guys and be like, we're going to force you to at least double team Myles Garrett, maybe even triple team so we can get one of these other guys. To get something.
Yeah, to Olivia Vernon. Myles Garrett needs to feel respected enough to be on the receiving end of a double team every now and again.
He's smart. He's really good.
Stefanski, I think. Stefanski is a smarter person than Freddie Kitchens.
Yeah, he's smart. He's way smarter than Freddie Kitchens.
So, yeah, the Browns are good. The Browns are good.
And the Colts, I don't know. I mean, they didn't have Darius Leonard, who's, you know, you can't judge the Colts' defense without Darius Leonard out there.
I think the Colts are decent, but Phil Rivers still. He's Phil Rivers.
He's old. He's Phil Rivers.
He was screaming. If you had to buy one team, and obviously we're playing just the results from this game, but if you had to buy one team higher ceiling this year, I think it's the Browns.
Yeah, the only problem with the Browns is their division. Yeah, their division is tough.
And this game against the Steelers is going to be huge. Huge, huge, huge.
We do like the Browns. So the Browns are another one of our teams.
Yeah. So now we've got 12 AFC playoff teams.
Half of the AFC. And I feel confident with that.
Can we just please get Phillip Rivers mic'd up for every game? You can put it on a live stream because you know he's not going to cuss. He's not going to say anything inappropriate.
He's probably like talking trash to Odell Beckham like, you got a bunch of mess. I heard you like to get messed on your chest.
Heard you like the ladies that defecate all over you. You're sorry.
There's no way he knows that story. Oh, he does.
No, he doesn't. Because Phillip Rivers is a great trash talker.
No, he's not online enough. There's no way.
I think that story transcended online. No, but I don't think they say it in front of Phil Rivers out of respect for a father of 12? 14? No, I'm sure he just silently sits there and kind of shakes his head, but doesn't...
No, but I bet you Phil Rivers can't even imagine someone shitting on someone's chest that he thinks it's like all of a joke, like a TikTok.

He's like, is that some TikTok that you poop on each other?

He makes a girl just take a stinky on your nipples?

That's like a- That's weird, man.

Oh, that was Jerry Jones, John Gruden.

That's weird.

That's weird, man.

Mixed to make Phil Rivers.

The only thing, I always picture Phil Rivers when he's screaming.

I just assume that he's saying, y'all sorry.

Y'all the sorriest team we ever played. Your accents always end up either Jerry Jones or Mike Greenberg.
Mike Greenberg, what are the two? Or Deli. Or Deli.
Or Deli. All right.
He took a shit on you. It's weird.
Cowboys Giants to finish it off. Dak.
We're not even Cowboys fans. And we feel bad for Dak.
As a football team fan, I just want to say that I'm rooting for Dak. Yeah.
We found the ultimate, though, because we've been making this joke for many years about people, whenever there's a horrific injury, they have to chime in and say, listen, I root for the Eagles, but even I feel bad for Dak. Thank you for qualifying how hard it was for you to have basic human emotion, to feel bad for someone's ankle that was sideways on national television.
Within about five seconds, there were representatives from every single team. Hey, Packers fan coming in peace here.
Just getting out in front of it. Just want to say I'm very sorry.
I hope for a full recovery. But I found the ultimate, we've reached a new level.
I said to myself, there's a lot of people who have been taking a stand, saying they're not watching sports anymore. And I started retweeting people who don't even watch football anymore, but they heard about Dak instantly, and they feel bad, and they want to send their prayers.
Listen, I don't watch the sports ball, but even as somebody that doesn't pay attention to athletics, I feel bad for a man who's hurt. Ever since Colin Kaepernick got blackballed or ever since they started kneeling, you get both sides.
I don't watch this sport. But I happened to have CBS on at like 5 o'clock this afternoon.
I saw Dak's ankle go sideways. But, you know, I just want to say my thoughts and and prayers skip bayless is like listen i'm not a fan of mental health but i still feel bad for dak prescott hurting himself or like uh skip it first of all skip bayless was he was all over the map today he didn't know how to handle his emotions well he had because lebron yeah this yeah he was thinking ahead to later on that night i think skip is he really wanted to tweet was like, you thought Dak was depressed before.
Yeah. Listen, I'm going to get in trouble for this, but Dallas Cowboys quarterbacks can't break their ankles.
That's what Skip wanted to say. Yes.
Yes. So it sucked, but Andy Dalton came in.
And Andy Dalton, I'm happy Andy Dalton's back in our life. Andy Dalton should be decent on this Cowboys team.
Like Andy Dalton, the bugaboo with Andy Dalton is always, he's one of those guys. And we've talked about him.
He's like the Kirk cousins. You can list a bunch of guys who you basically make the argument.
If everything's right, they can be good. Everything on the offensive side of the ball, maybe their offensive line, but he has every single weapon.
He's got the best weapons he's ever had. He's got a great running game.
Everything should be okay for Andy Dalton to actually thrive. And he made a great pass and a great catch by Michael Gallup, who's like the unheralded star there.
Cowboys are 2-0 in Andy Dalton games. He's the perfect Mike McCarthy quarterback because he will take all the shit that you throw at him.
Like Mike McCarthy can scream at him and treat him like just a pile of mud. And Andy Dalton will never publicly go up against his head coach.
He'll never get into like a spat. Could you imagine Andy Dalton winning a Super Bowl with the Dallas Cowboys? I still think he looks weird.
Actually, I was going to say he looks weird in the helmet. The visor looks pretty slick on Andy.
Yeah. That's Andy Dalton 2.0.
I do feel bad for Dak, though. That sucks.
Yeah. It sucks just because he's a fun player to watch.
And then, yeah, I mean, the Cowboys, I don't know where they get their defense. They made the Giants look competent offensively, which is very hard to do.
The Giants, I turn to you guys, I would say probably two minutes into the second quarter, the Giants had 17 points. That was the most points they scored all year.
In a game, two minutes into the second quarter. That's what the Cowboys do for you.
And Joe Judge, I'm sure he's got to look in the mirror and get back to the blue-collar ways. But the New York Jets and the New York Giants, for the first time ever, they're combined 0-10 to start the season.
Giants got to bring the lunch pail. That's what Joe Judge has to do.
He has to issue team lunch pails and install one of those clock in, clock out things at the facility, bring it back to the blue-collar ways. I will compliment Daniel Jones.
He is an incredible in-zone throwaway quarterback. When he's within 15, 20 yards of the goal line and he doesn't like his first read, he's putting it between the uprights.
Like he's throwing it nine, 10 yards up. Well, that's because he also, his clock, his internal clock is the worst of all time.
He, he just stands there. That's why he always fumbles.
So he'll stand there and everyone will be covered for a good eight minutes. And then it'll be like, okay, now I'm going to launch it.
Yeah, there's nothing that hits quite like a Daniel Jones throwaway.

He's probably the best quarterback in the NFL at doing that.

He's got a rock arm.

I did see a new species out in the wild on Twitter related to the DAC injury.

The person who says, I just saw the DAC injury, but I'm not going to post it here.

Yes.

I'm not going to repost it, but I just want you to know it's terrible.

I just watched the DAC injury. Please don't tweet it out.
Yes. I'm not going to repost it but i just want you to know it's terrible i just watched the DAC injury please don't tweet it out yes i'm not gonna repost it thank you for your service not smashing the retweet button on a guy's fibula poking through his leg that was uh all time with with tony rome being like maybe it's just a cramp and then like we like we don't want to show this again as they showed it again in slow slow motion.
Yeah, you got to watch it. I think we've had this discussion, but the first one I vividly remember, Willis McGahee.
Remember when Willis McGahee's knee? And they didn't have replays like they do now. So that was a, oh my God, how the fuck did that happen? I mean, this was like the year 2000.
No, but they didn't replay it from 17 different angles.

No, we got like one.

Listen, back in my day, we got one replay of Willis McGaugh's ACL.

Are you saying that's not true?

And we liked it.

Are you saying that's not true?

No, you're absolutely right.

But with the Dak Prescott thing, yeah, they showed it to us.

I think that people should watch the replay too.

They should watch it because if you're going to enjoy football,

you need to know what they do go through,

like what can happen to somebody on any given play. To understand.
It puts into perspective his contract discussions he was having. Oh, you're doing a human thing here.
No, I'm saying you should watch it. No, I'm watching it because I like to watch gruesome things.
Okay, I'm saying you should watch it. I watch skateboarders break their legs.
I watch those videos all the time. It's way funnier when somebody gets their leg broken for free than it is like on sunday at that point i take it very seriously yeah no i'm just like travis do a real grind and like a stop sign splits open to scrotum that's fucking funny no listen neck injuries no thank you uh but any type of uh broken bone puke video impalalement, non-life-threatening, I'll watch it.
I'll replay it all the time. Shout out to Mike Nolan.
He moved to the sidelines. Yeah.
So Mike Nolan moved down to the sidelines today. Well, they won the game.
He's going to move back up. They won.
Maybe moves to the other sideline. That would work.
My big question. He stands over the opposing offensive coordinator's shoulder.
I was going to say coaches the opposing defense. That would probably help out a lot.
But how bad must Earl Thomas be? How bad must his current situation be if the Cowboys haven't brought him in yet? It must be pretty bad because they brought in Aldon Smith. They brought in Greg Hardy.
Well, he might be asking for too much money. That might be it.
He might not have enough money. That's actually not a bad point.
I would imagine that's probably what it is. He's probably getting paid this year by the Ravens, right? To a certain extent.
I don't know how that works. I don't know how it works either.
Yeah, we're not fucking capologists. Jerry Jones, there's a chance that Jerry Jones doesn't know that Earl Thomas is available yet.
Someone needs to let him know. Because if Earl Thomas showed up on Sunday just wearing a Cowboys uniform, Jerry Jones would be like, Yeah, we got a ball player.
Yeah, this is good. We're in.
We're in it. All right.
Let's get to Dion. Before we do that, quick word from our sponsors.
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I know my mistake. I believe, and I think you guys do this sometimes, on my picks I picked one way, and on the football show I picked another way.
Okay. And I wanted to do the same thing.
And when I called you this morning, I said, get off the Falcons. It ain't no way.
They're not going to win. Don't do it.
And you kind of talked me into staying because you questioned me. Anything like that.
All right. So what happened? What changed between earlier this week and this morning? You just woke up with a feeling.
You're like, oh, it's Sunday. What am I doing betting on the Falcons? Right.
What am I doing picking the Falcons? Julio is not playing. What am I doing? There's no way they're going to win against Teddy Bridgewater.
It's the consistency. Yes.
And Dan Quinn has officially been fired. He got fired? No, there were some reports saying it's likely to happen on Monday or Tuesday.
They said he's as good as fired, but I think they're going to come into the office. He hasn't been fully fired.
I hate to hear it, but you know it was coming. It's almost worse that they did it this way where it's like, hey, Dan, we're not going to fire you yet.
You can come into the office and make all your arrangements and have that long, sad commute in knowing that you're about to be fired. Wow.

So who's the interim?

Is it Raheem?

Yeah, I don't know.

They haven't announced it yet because I guess Dan Quinn still has the job technically as

of this moment.

Yeah, they're saying now, people, this is my favorite part about the media today is

that no one can wait until he's officially fired.

So the report is all but finalized that he is going to be fired tomorrow and everyone's

just running with him.

Yeah.

Thank you. No one can wait until he's officially fired, so the report is all but finalized that he is going to be fired tomorrow and everyone's just running with him.
Yeah. So he's fired.
He's fired. Yeah.
Yeah, he's gone. Let's talk about the biggest story, though.
Obviously, it's Dak Prescott, the injury. Terrible, terrible injury.
Feel awful for him. You're watching that game.
What were you thinking when you see him go down? And then the Cowboys being resilient and winning that game with Andy Dalton. The first thing I was thinking about was I know when you're on that card, all those emotions are going through your mind, and you're thinking to yourself, man, I probably should have took that long-term deal because how is this going to really play out? All those stupid thoughts like that go through your mind.
I've been there, done that. It goes through your mind.
Like what's next? Are you going to ever be the same? Are you going to rehab? Are you going to be as strong as you're going to be? Are you going to be as good? All those thoughts are going through his mind. Yeah.
You know, Jerry Jones pretty well. I I would imagine.
I had the thought that Jerry is, at least at this stage in his life, he seems to have kind of become very much a player's owner. It would not shock me if Jerry Jones still made Dak a big contract offer this offseason, even knowing that he was in there.
Dak deserves a big contract offer, first and foremost. He's earned it.
He deserves it. But that's still a but.
You could have gotten more. You always think, I could get more.
When is enough enough? So that's the thing that Dak is contemplating. And he wanted to finish this year strong.
Yeah, and it probably sounds callous. I saw some people on Twitter being like, now is not time to talk about Dax contracting it isn't but you're absolutely right the human the human element of it is that's going through Dax mind right now and you can't you can't play the what if game the hindsight's 2020 I will say this though the one part of today and as bad as Dax injury was uh watching Alex Smith play has to give you like a little bit of hope of saying injuries are not like they were 30 years ago.
This is not Dak Prescott is going to be back playing football at some point. This isn't a career ender.
He will be able to play again. And there's almost like kind of a beautiful, you know, you don't want to see a guy get hurt but a beautiful like message in there like you saw alex smith come back after a horrific injury when dak has a horrific injury today alex smith is one of my favorites and to see how that played out and he got back in there i was i mean i was like yes yes that is wonderful i love it and to see to see how this thing is going to play out with that, then you start thinking all the crazy thoughts that could go through management in the owner's mind.
Like, if the Cowboys finish 8-8, 6-10, what do you do? Do you go in the draft? Do you allow him to be a free agent? What do you do?

See, all those thoughts are going to circulate.

You've got to weigh every option.

Do you think that Andy Dalton is the guy they're going to ride with?

I mean, it was smart in retrospect for them to go out and get Andy.

Smart move.

He has been a starting quarterback for it seems like 30 years in the NFL.

But based on the small amount that you saw out of him today, you think they're going to ride with that or do you think they're going to bring somebody else in as well? Well, they've got to bring another backup in just in case Andy goes down. But that was a great move.
Like when you look at how it played out, you're saying, okay, good job, Stephen Jones. Great job anticipating what could possibly happen and still get your team to a guy that has started a numerous amount of games that can handle the attention of being a Dallas Cowboy quarterback and get the job done simultaneously yeah from a from a player standpoint if you have a teammate suffer an injury like that how do you move on from it does it take like do you have a short like quick discussion about and then you say okay let's put that aside we'll deal with it later how do the players get refocused at that point without you know thinking too much about the fact of you know we just saw our starting quarterback go down with a severe ankle injury well it's tougher because it's your leader it's it's it's a guy that you have hope in a guy that you follow a guy that is the of your franchise.
So it's a little tougher when it's that guy. But you got to buckle back up and play the next play like it never happened.
That's the thing about professional sports. Guys get hurt in practice.
Guys get hurt in preseason. Guys get hurt on just freak accidents and incidents all the time.
So the show must go on. That's the mentality.
Yeah. The other big takeaway I had from this Sunday is the 49ers, your other team.
Wow. Now, they have a ton of injuries, but it does feel like the Super Bowl hangover or the curse of losing the Super Bowl kind of feels real here where it's a snake-bitten year.
Every time you went to the Super Bowl, you won it, but do you believe in a team getting there, falling short, and then the next year having a hard time getting back up to that level? No, no, I don't. The thing about it, whenever you win, even if you didn't win the Super Bowl but you won and made it to the Super Bowl.
You lose players. You lose kind of that hunger, that thirst.

Some guys, because some guys blow up in the offseason and they start getting better deals and off-the-field endeavors,

and they've got to really stay focused.

The nucleus of your team has to stay focused.

They have a lot of injuries, man.

Tell me what happened with Garoppolo.

Did he get benched? Yeah, he threw two of the worst picks in non-Cuznens division. That's why we got to be careful with putting seeds on these guys' chest.
How do you bench a captain? Well, you can say I would imagine Kyle Shanahan, it's not a benching of he's benched going forward. It's a he's coming back from an injury.
This is just my guess. He's coming back from an injury.
We're down 30 points or whatever, 25 points. I'm not going to let him get injured more.
Let's sit him down. This game's a wash.
Let's go to the next week. That's my guess.
Yeah, but you're down by 30. You're down by 30 because he has something to do with it.
Yeah. I'm just sitting up there thinking, as a teammate, how can we pay a guy 20 to 30 mil and you bench him and he's the captain and you want me to look up to him? Yeah.
How in the world is that fashionable? Well, in hockey, it happens a lot. If there's a goaltender that's having like a bad game you know like sometimes you got you got the yips you have a bad day but in football it's like with the quarterback position it means a lot more if you take that person out of the game you're sending a message to that person saying like we don't think that you're the guy that can get it done and then it becomes a big question who's going to start the next game whereas in hockey i think it's more like okay we can accept the fact that players have bad days sometimes.
But if you're Jimmy Garoppolo, like this is, it's gotta be sticking in your head. Like that's, it's embarrassing what happened to him today.
And I don't know if he's going to be able to bounce back if, or if they're going to have like an open competition between him, Nick Mullins and CJ Beathard next week. But it makes you think about, okay, because last year there was talking to offseason that they did entertain the Brady situation they entertained some other situations now you're thinking okay however this plays out are you going to entertain other situations in college situations in offseason because it seems as though you're not 100 sold on your quarterback it's no way you bench you bench a $20 to $30 million quarterback.
Yeah. Yeah, no, it's true.
It's a weird spot to be in now for the 49ers. Like, that locker room is going to be very interesting on Tuesday whenever they get back.
Dion, I have one last question. We joke about this all the time.
Chiefs losing to the Raiders. Is there such a thing as a blueprint game? Not really.

There's a matchup game.

Like some people just really match up good against other teams.

Some coaches have history against other teams.

Just like Alabama Ole Miss.

Right.

Okay.

You know, those coaches got history, man.

And they just match up well.

Gruden has history there with Andy Reid. Right.
It's true. It's a good point.
And they do have the offensive line and the running game that can, you hope, take the air out of the game against Patrick Mahomes. So no blueprint game, just a matchup game.
Just a matchup. Coaches being very familiar with one another's scheme and the timing of it, man, that's what happens.

Sometimes it happens.

Wait, so as a coach yourself, do you, if you know the opponent,

if you know the opponent really well, do you start playing mind games

with yourself where you're like, I know them, they know me,

they think I'm going to do this, but then I'm going to do the opposite,

but then they think I'm going to do the opposite, so I'm going to do the original thing. Now you're beating yourself.
You just go with your strengths. That's how I would do it.
It's like playing rock, paper, scissors, shoot. You just get paralyzed with thought.
There you go. And I can't do that.
I just got to go with my strengths. I'm excited for the takes that are going to come out saying, is it a good thing that the Chiefs lost this early in the season? That way they don't have to worry about going 16-0, everybody talking to them later on in the season.
Oh, you got the perfect season going. Because then you start thinking about that too much, and then that plays mind games with you.
What about the darn Dolphins, man? Yeah. Come on, man.
They're good. Come on, man.
They're good. Feisty.
The Dolphins are good. They're not good.
They're not good. They just were good today.
Brian Flores is a good coach. That's a fact.
He's a good man. He's got a bad roster, and they're rebuilding, and it feels like the Dolphins, every couple weeks, they're in one of these games where it's like, whoa, what are the Dolphins doing? Man, they look good.
It spits magic, baby. Yeah, that's right.
Still going. Have you ever been pump faked out by a quarterback like 13 yards downfield?field? Fitzy likes to throw that pump fake like he's going to attempt a forward pass after he's already gotten the first down.
As a defensive back, did you ever bite on that? Yeah. Unbelievable.
You wouldn't bite on that, would you? I'd be playing man-to-man anyway. I wouldn't come up here anyway.
Alright, Deion. Thank you.
as always. Get that lift in.
Appreciate it. I'm going to try to find you getting pump faked.
I'm going to post that on Twitter. Who's winning tonight? Seahawks.
LeBron? Oh, no. There's no basketball game tonight.
Heat culture. Mark it right now.
I'm saying it right now. The game's starting right now.
Heat by 12. I didn't even know there was a basketball game on.
The game's on right now. No, no.
That's not right. I got baseball and football.
That's all I see. Yeah.
You're blind. All right.
See you, Dion. Crucial catch.
Oh, by the way, speaking of crucial catch, did you see Mike Tomlin's sweatshirt today? No. I meant to bring this up in the Steelers recap.
Every team puts out like their version of the cancer awareness,

raising money for cancer charities sweatshirts,

and they all say different things on them.

Usually it says like, for example, with Washington,

it says like Washington football team.

It's like the tie dye colors on it.

Pittsburgh just said Pittsburgh is stronger than cancer.

Oh, they've had that for a while.

Yeah.

That's such an alpha saying.

Yes.

I imagine that they're like probably three or four dozen yinzers that travel abroad every year and they like land in paris and they're just wearing a shirt that says pittsburgh is stronger than cancer i imagine there are a few yinzers who um unfortunately get diagnosed with cancer and when the doctor says it they're like but you don't understand i'm from pittsburgh cancer's a jag off yeah like there's no like i did you you check my ID when I came in here? They just put on that. I'm from Pitt.
And they're like, well, we have this great treatment center. Well, I'm from Pittsburgh.
I can just put on the sweatshirt. Yeah, I put french fries in my sandwich.
I got this. Like, don't worry about it, Doc.
All right, let's get Football Guy of the Week. Football Guy of the Week presented by Phil Sorocco.
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Make sure you vote and tweet us, trim it to win it, hashtag trim it to win it, at Pardon My Take. Thank you to Philips Norelco.
Our Philips Norelco OneBlade football guy of the week, Jake. Give us the nominees.
Jake, sorry about your heat. It's okay.
Game 7 Tuesday night? Bigger things in life. Are you going to be watching Game 7 Tuesday night or Game 3 of the ALCS? Which one will be on the main TV? I'm going to be prepping for our Soul Streams ping pong for Thursday.
Oh, wow. Hank's even got him doing the plugs.
Moving forward, I just want to say, like the real winner, we should give credit. You can talk about the champion or whatever you want to do, but it's bigger than basketball at this point.
They didn't have a single confirmed coronavirus test for the entire time they were in the bubble. No cocoa.
I think that that is more noteworthy than whoever happened to win the title. Agreed.
We can all agree on that, right? It would almost be selfish for a team to want to win the championship and take the shine away from the league's effort in combating a global pandemic. It's fun to job.
Football guy of the week. Starting off with Steelers' tight end Vance McDonald, who said he'd rather block all game than catch one ball.
Yeah! That is a very Heath Miller thing to say. Love it.
Notre Dame offensive tackle. Heath Miller and Todd Heap were the same person.
We can agree on that, too. No.
Todd Heap. No, because Todd Heap, we got introduced to him at Hard Knocks.
Great all-time neck, Todd Heap. But then he was always injured.
Heath was a warrior. Heath was out there for a while.
But yes, yes. McDonald, every time you see him, you can only think Heath.
Notre Dame offensive tackle Liam Eikenberg. Big guy, you tweeted this out.
He continued to play in the Irish's game versus Florida State despite suffering a brutal eye injury. His eye was completely shut.
How many beers? No, I don't think he... Well, no, I don't think he...

You have to take a mallet to your dick to get it in there.

How thin of a penis would it take?

It would have to be a piece of paper.

Micro penis.

Yes.

Brett Favre.

His entire face, it looked like he got smashed with a brick.

It was crazy.

And he played...

He couldn't open his entire left eye.

Georgia quarterback Stetson Bennett, after Georgia's win over Tennessee, he said, quote, I think we covered tonight, so that's good, end quote. Is that a football guy? I can imagine the compliance officer running into the locker room.
Yeah, not so nice, but yeah, they did cover. Stetson Bennett, excellent quarterback name.
Yes. He's the fourth, too, I think.
Panthers OC Joe Brady, He tweets 1-0 after every Carolina win and nothing else since the season started. Love it.
The last three tweets, the last two. That is.
I like that a lot. He's got Twitter.
That's not a football guy thing. But he only uses it to tweet 1-0.
I like that. Yeah.
So those are the nominees. Vote on the poll.
I'm trying to think. Yeah.
I'm sure it's a thing where he probably has an agent that's like, oh, you know, you're a coach. You've got to be on social media.
Yeah. Maybe from recruiting.
If I'm going to be on social media, I'm just going to tweet. I would say that it's a big time football.
I'd almost rather have Coach O hold that tiger. If his wife ran the Twitter account and all she was tweeting every week was just 1-0.
His foundation ran it. Yeah.
The Joe Brady Foundation that helped kids in something. That's it.
It helped kids win national championships at LSU. Yes.
Who's back of the week? Do we... Should we...
Should we talk about the Lakers winning the NBA title? My who's back of the week... We did do that.
We already talked about it. Everyone, you know, people have been saying whether or not he's the GOAT.
I've had some, personally, some not great things to say about him. He won a championship today, which I think is pretty much undisputed as the GOAT.
I like this. So congrats to Rafa Nadal.
Won the French Open today. Number 13.
Number 13. Clay doesn't count, dude.
Red Clay. Rafa in a trophy.
On any other surface besides clay. It's a cheat code for him.
No, he's one other maker. He has 20.
Barely. He has 20.
He wins all the fucking clay shit. A world championship is a world championship.
He's got the spin. Unless it happens in the bubble.
Everyone knows that. How'd the Joker do? He beat him.
Yeah. Six loves.
Six, two, seven, five. Straight sets.
Oh my god. Straight sets, big cat.
This is your goat. Start with straight sets and then pop then pop bottles.
Rafael Nadal, all he does is win fucking clay. He's cool but rude.
He's just clay. Clay, clay, clay.
No, he's the goat. All right, Corona, bro.
Undisputed goat. Clay.
Dude, he's won 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. 13? At Roland Garros.
13 out of 20 on clay. Dude, 20.
102 is his record. Whatever.
20. Yeah, it's a cheat code for him.
He owns a surface. He knows how to spin it.
Seven majors is nothing to scoff at. He has more than seven.
No, I'm saying he has 20 total. Oh, yeah.
And how many does Djokovic have? No, probably like nine. Oh, you're so wrong.
No, because he doesn't have. 17.
And he's like 10 years younger. This is the point.
You guys can keep saying all you want. Well, the fact is Djokovic didn't have to go up against Federer in his prime.
Yeah, now you're just doing this bullshit. No, it's true.
He did. He's beating them.
Every time they played him, they beat each other up. Who's won? Yeah, but Federer's on the thumb down.
I don't know this stat. This stat, I do not know.
This stat could go against me. 29-27, Djokovic.
No, in the... Okay, thank you.
No, no, against Federer in championships. In...
Djokovic for Federer? Yeah, yeah, yeah. In major championship finals? In major championships.
Yeah, in finals, whatever. This could go against me.
I don't know my tennis. I don't even like Djokovic.
I watched one Wimbledon, and I decided that I liked that guy, and I liked the debate. Didn't Rafa win the greatest Wimbledon match of all time? I don't even like tennis.
I hate tennis. Everyone always talks about that.
The debate is all I want. I think Rafa ended the debate today.
No, he didn't. He's an unquestionable goat.
He didn't. Talk to me in five years.
All right, my Who's Back of the Week is shirtless J.R. Smith.
Shirtless J.R. Smith's back.
I'm not sure why he's shirtless, but he hasn't had his shirt on for 12 hours now. So shout out to shirtless J.R.
Smith. Did he win something? No, he's just happy.
So how big of a party do you think J.R. Smith is going to personally have upon getting to exit the bubble? For what? He's going to go fucking nuts.
For what? He's just happy. So how big of a party do you think Jair Smith is going to personally have upon getting to exit the bubble? For what? He's going to go fucking nuts.
For what? He's going to be celebrating not being in the bubble anymore. Oh, yes.
He's probably going to get a bong, a bubbler made, to recreate what the bubble looked like, the Disney Wide World of Sports, and just have it permanently installed where his fireplace should be. I agree.
All right, my who's back. I have two.
One is Jason Kidd being a great coach. Because I don't know who won tonight, but I know Jason Kidd was on staff.
So he was in the finals. Clearly a mistake by the Bucs to fire that guy.
Absolutely. Because he now has a ring as a coach.
Not a head coach, but a coach. Still.
That's got to piss people off. Flags fly forever.
Yeah. And Giannis' brother has one, too.
Yes, that's right. That's right.
And then my other who's back is teams not being back. Big weekend for the teams not being back.
Texas and Miami lose. Miami got the shit kicked out of them.
Texas came furiously back and fell short against Oklahoma. We'll have to just wait until next year.
What do you got? 11-6 Joker and Grand Slam matches. Oh, six in a row.
Yeah, not in a row. Oh, interesting.
He padded his stats. That's interesting.
11-6? Once Roger Federer's brain starts to melt out of his ears like Tom Brady, he padded his stats by beating him six times a row. 11-6? So before that, it was six to five when it really counted.
Oh, wow. 11-6.
Including this year's Aussie Open straight sets in the semifinals. Oh, my God.
How embarrassing must that be for Djokovic to be beating a 65-year-old Roger Federer? When did this 6-0 start? 2014. The last time Fed beat Djokovic in a Grand Slam is 2012.

Oh, wow.

So 2014, Roger Federer was like 32 years old.

So to say that that's not his prime.

He's like 36 at the point.

Nope, that's not true.

Five-set thriller, Wimbledon finals when it started.

Six in a row?

Damn.

That's too bad.

Yeah, and then the Lakers won whatever. Do you have a who's back? Brooks.
Blake. What happened? Oh, yeah, he's back.
He's physically back. Yes, and Masters coming up.
What do you have to say about your Heat? You've got to give him some kind of credit. No, I mean, I was telling you.
Let's talk about the Heat. The Heat really won.
Yeah, I mean, no one expected them to get this far. Jimmy is a star.
He's not going anywhere, hopefully, for the rest of his career. He's literally probably not leaving the bubble.
He's going to stay in the bubble until he makes like 300 three-pointers in a row. Giannis coming through.
People are going to get mad at us for not talking about the NBA Finals, but honestly, I have to and I also, like, I don't know how to feel about the NBA Finals until the ratings come out. Once the ratings come out and I can see how many people watched it and how popular it was,

then I will tell you if it was a good Finals or not.

You know how many people watched in person?

Zero.

Right.

That's the most important time of them all.

In person.

That's true.

But I'm a ratings guy.

I can't enjoy a sport unless I know a lot of people are also watching it.

Like, if there are less people watching it than last year, I'm out.

Hank.

As much as I hate him, I did.

The fact that this is a conversation is funny,

but SVP had him on, LeBron, after.

And the new debate is now,

would 35-year-old LeBron beat 28-year-old LeBron?

Good.

Let them fight each other. I say...
LeBron beat 28 year old LeBron? Good. Let them fight each other.

I say...

LeBron said 35 would, but...

Well, with the advancement of HGH,

I would say 35 year old LeBron would definitely win.

I say yes.

He's like a fucking X-Man at this point.

He's got more dad strength.

Yeah.

Taco Tuesday.

I'm just happy for Caruso.

And my man, KCP.

JaVale. Yeah.
Dwight. Dwight.
Recurring guest, Dwight Howard. You guys never liked Dwight.
Dwight. I like Dwight.
KCP. Kuzma.
Fuck Kuzma. No, dude.
I love Kuzma. Fuck that.
Whatever, LeBron. Let's see if you can win it with fans.
That's all I got to say. I don't know.
I think LeBron probably, it was easier on him knowing that fewer people were watching at home. I really just wanted a game seven because I was like, maybe we get a coin flip.
Maybe we get a coin flip. We get the bachelorette.
Oh, I guess that's going to come back. Yeah, but no, we're going to tape early on Tuesday.
Fuck that. What did LeBron say about like he wants more damn respect or something like that? Oh, the NFL game.
If the NFL game happens, we will. What? If you want more respect? LeBron said, I want my damn respect, too.
Who isn't giving him respect? No one. Seriously.
No one. Do the LeBron lovers, do the bronze sexuals, do they know that we got beat? I still think MJ's better, but LeBron's incredible.
He's won four titles. What can you say? He's fucking insane.
Can't say King. Skip Bayless immediately tweeted out.
Yeah, right. He tweeted out MJ and then a million greater than signs LeBron.
Yeah. I'll always think MJ's better, but I understand.
It was like two years ago when he beat the Celtics, and that's when I was like, fuck. Yeah, it's kind of been over for a while.
Once he won the ring in Cleveland. But that was after that.
Well, for me, as a Celtics fan, the big three kind of was back and forth. But then once he came back with the Cavs and then kept skull-fucking the Celtics, it's just like, all right.
Once he won the ring in Cleveland, it's kind of been over since then. Like, he's Kyrie.
He's the second best player of all time. That's really nice.
On his team. It's great.
KD going to the Warriors stopped what could have been a potential big run. Meh.
I don't agree with that. I think he probably would have lost.
He's a prolific loser. Here's what I'll say.
He's won a good amount, but he's also a prolific loser. He's like the Roger Federer of the NBA.
LeBron enjoys losing in the finals. Why would he do it so much? He's done it six times.
He's only won four finals. He clearly likes doing one more than the other.
Takes his foot off the gas, yeah. All right, that's the show.
You guys got a number? We got a animal fact billion? Someone fucking tweeted at me, too. I can't even say now.

Love you guys.

Love you guys.

Thanks for helping the Lakers win, because you kept saying 17 every time.

You said 17 every time?

No, I'm not.

22.

17.

22.

One.

No, 22's already been taken.

Do another one.

23.

MJ.

52.

Some random guy today said, I called 22 today. Oh, okay.
I was like, what do you mean 22's been taken? Yeah, yeah. Love you guys.
My fun animal fact of the day. No, let's have Billy do it.
Billy, what's your fun animal fact of the day? Guys, my fun animal fact of the day is sometimes when you rub a toad's pussy enough, it will turn purple. It died.
It comes. You have a toad come? Guys, I got school.
Love you guys. Say that again.
Hank, you want to play the DK diss track at the end? What DK diss track? He wrote a diss track about me last week, and we talked about it in the interview, so I wrote a diss track on him to motivate him to greatness in Sunday Night Football. Guess, I think that it worked.
Yes. Can we say that it worked? Yes.
It's like George Kittle's dad writing him a letter on NFL Sunday to motivate him. Might have to do this again sometime, DK.
Pardon my fake digital. Hey, one cut on the defense.
DK, you know the nine round is the deepest, but you're getting slow. TK, you're getting stabbed.
I want to mix in a salad so you can break her cousin's heart like a creed-powered ballad. Dying is having checked its home like PFT's being made.
I know, you're destroying actually the essence of it, I think. You live in Planet Fitness, kind of like alarming.
I got a six-pack, a purple. That's how I'm drunk and I'm lean.
You're Hollywood. Your game translates to editing scenes.
One cut, then get your popcorn like 1917. You let her twice add on this because you can't draw a PI.
Disappoint your fantasy owner and suck when you're on a bye. DK, one of your problems, you know J.K.
Dobbins. Only pre-con drill you finished was at Baskin Robbins.
Make one good on the defense.

TK, you know that my round is the defense. But you're getting to the ball.
Drop the ball when you're on the one. Then do the dog pissing celebration.
Thank you.