Michael Strahan, David Arquette, And The Lakers Are Dead (After 1 Game)

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. In 2025, maybe you're ready for a plot twist.
Maybe there's a part of your story that you've been wanting to revise. Think about therapy as your editorial partner.
It helps you write new chapters and creates the meaningful story that you deserve to live. I've personally used therapy in the past as a tool to help me get through some times of loss and to also help me prioritize what was important in my life and help me focus on those and create a future that I was very happy in and very confident in.
Therapy has been a great tool for me. I personally recommend it.
If you're thinking about starting therapy, I couldn't recommend it more. Give it a try.

BetterHelp is fully online, making therapy affordable and convenient,

serving over 5 million people worldwide.

Access a diverse network of more than 30,000 credentialed therapists

with a wide range of specialties.

You can easily switch therapists at any time for no extra cost.

Write your own story with BetterHelp.

Visit BetterHelp.com slash PMT today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash PMT.
On today's part of my take, we have Michael Strahan and David Arquette. Twofer.
We also have the start of the NBA playoffs. Both one seeds lost today.
Damn! The playoffs are off and running. We had all favorites on Monday and then huge upsets on Tuesday.
We have some baseball unwritten rules, guys on chicks, packed Wednesday show. Ever had one of those days when it's just too cold to keep working? Nah, neither has Ariat.
Ariat work jackets and boots are packed with all the

cold-stopping waterproof protection you need to get the job done under any conditions so you can

take any job out there and always deliver. Check out Ariat in your local workwear retailer or visit

ariat.com slash work to get 10% off your first order when you sign up for email. And weather

whatever in Ariat work gear. Okay, it right now.
Use code BARS to get $10 for free. $10 for the ASPCA.
Today is Wednesday, August 19th. And the Lakers are dead.
Laker Dan is down. Well, no, I'd say Laker Dan actually worked his magic perfectly.
Yeah, no, he actually worked it perfectly. What are you doing, Hank? I was trying to make like a bonk sound.
Blaze up. Blaze up.
That's right. There you go.
Me, Hank, and Charles Barkley are high on the Blazers right now. And, I mean, they're a fun team to watch.
Why do you hate fun, Big Cat? Okay. You want to rehash on Monday? I don't hate fun whatsoever.
Damian Lillard is so much fucking fun to watch. What I've said from the start is the Blazers aren't going to win this series, and they're not going to win this series.
That is the worst shooting team I've ever seen, though, the Lakers. Can you guys stop? The Lakers are – I don't even know if they practice shooting.
They're so fucking bad at shooting. And LeBron was doing this thing that he does every now and again where he could take the ball to the hole any time that he wanted and he was just settling for a lot of really bad threes.
He's like scared of his own power. It wasn't even on LeBron though because they just, everyone shot bad.
They shot 15% from three which is like an insanely low number for an NBA team. Danny Green, you stink.
I don't know. Everyone stinks.
Dwight Howard looks weird. LeBron just passed it to AD in the clutch at the end of the game.
Doesn't want anymore. Truly is the wash game.
Yeah. Their offense is broken.
It was funny. Before we sat down to tape this, Hank was talking about how he's rooting so hard against LeBron.
He roots harder against LeBron than he does for the teams that he likes. And Big Cat was like, you're going to burn yourself out early.
Yeah. I think there is some truth there.
No, they're not going to. We're going to need full Hank hate in the tank for the next series and the series after that if they can somehow survive the gentleman's sweep coming away from the Blazers.
I do want the Lakers to lose very badly. But I just don't think they're going to lose this series.
How about Carmelo? I just don't. So I'm not going to get my hopes up for this series, for LeBron to lose this series, because I just don't think they're going to lose this series.
How about Carmelo? So I'm not going to get my hopes up for this series, for LeBron to lose this series, because I just don't believe that's going to happen. You just have no respect for the bubble MVP.
I do have respect for the bubble MVP. You don't think it matters.
I have great respect for the bubble MVP. I think Damian Lillard is so much fucking fun to watch.
I'm not going to get my hopes up for a series that I don't think the Blazers are going to win. I don't know if you guys have noticed this, but you know that theory where if you buy a red car, all of a sudden you notice all the red cars that there are on the road, and you're like, wow, everyone's got one of these.
Every time CJ gets the ball, he goes tween, tween, big cross, big cross, step back to freedom, blast their face off. Yes, he does.
It's his thing. It's his signature move.
It's like his crab dribble um so so i i like the lakers they're not going to win the title i can guarantee you that oh yeah oh guarantee capital g i watched them tonight and i was like this team is broken uh i do still think they're going to win this series maybe and maybe i'm wrong if they don't win this series and lebron is done no i'll go that's kind of what it is like it's either lebron and AD are still have their powers or if they don't win this series, then LeBron is done. No, I'll go over it.
Because that's kind of what it is. Like, it's either LeBron and AD still have their powers, or if they don't, then guess what? They're done.
I mean, AD's still young. Yeah.
He's fine. But he also, I don't know.
He's being held down by LeBron. He's being held down by LeBron.
But yeah, I mean, he did have a triple-double tonight, but I still think LeBron's that kind of guy where you just expect him to just be like, all right, now gonna win is ad afraid to be the alpha with lebron around him that's the question that people are asking right also how lebron's so fucking bad at free throws it's crazy man no clutch it's crazy um they also do you see those disgusting uh tune squad jerseys yeah okay all right this is unpopular opinion alert i like the shorts part If it was just the shorts part of the jersey, I'm all in. But combined with the top, no thank you.
Hard pass. Yeah, I had.
It looked like they were used to wipe up cocaine on the set of Miami Vice. LeBron just was like, he was like pimping it too much, the jersey, on his walkout.
I didn't like it. I didn't like it.
Kicking over to the east, I actually do think that the Bucs stink. I think...
Yeah, no, so Hank... The Magic earned their pinstrips.
Hank, I want to give you credit for being the first to be the Bucs stink guy. Thank you.
That was your call. Appreciate that.
You were right on that. Maybe not right on the Nets, but that's okay.
They almost came back. They got within 10.
Yeah, yeah. I had my eye on them.
They didn't look bad. If they looked any better, KD would be like, hey, maybe I'll play for this team next year.

Yeah.

If Gordon Hayward did get injured yesterday, I'd be in basketball nirvana.

Everything is going the way I would.

Everything's wide open.

Yes, but Hayward getting injured hurts a lot.

It's been a bad couple days for guys with guys with sprained ankles around Hank.

Yeah.

I think the Clippers are still the best team. But I think the Clippers are still the best team.
Who is David Stern rooting for in the finals? Who does he want to see for the ratings? Giannis versus LeBron. Yeah.
Giannis? Giannis versus LeBron would probably be the ratings bonanza. But even still, or maybe it would be Lakers-Celtics.
That would probably be it. But, yeah, it was a good first two days I mean basketball all day is the best the only other one that the only other game I mean I watched every second of every game because it was so awesome the Porzingis technical foul was bullshit that game and Luka is incredible Luka is so fucking good and I love whenever an announcer starts talking about a guy's hips and they they talk about Luka's hips like all game long.
Yeah, Mark Jackson sounded like he was going to bust a nut. His hips are so nice.
Just paint the side of his leg white. I thought that the Clippers actually looked like dog shit on defense.
They're supposed to be the team that can shut down any high-scoring team out there. They're the team that has the best perimeter.
They've got Playoff P.

They've got Pat Beverly. And they were not able to do anything against the Mavericks.
Well, they won. Yeah, but I'm saying the Mavericks played really well.
Yeah, the Mavericks offense is insane. The Mavericks, Luka is incredible.
I don't think anyone can stop Luka. I just don't think there's anyone who can stop Luca that's how good he is I just think the like I the first the first round teams are getting themselves I mean the Clippers like have barely played together as a team but I I still think when the like chips are down like Kawhi's the type of guy I just don't care how he looks right now it's like once they get to the end of series like in the Western Conference finals like that's all I tip for the youngsters out there, follow your shot.
Kawhi was following his shot. He always does.
And he was getting all those rebounds. He's Mr.
Fundamental. Did you guys also see the most relatable clip of all time of him walking in the arena? Yes.
He had like an iPad out. Yes.
And he just looked down at his screen. But you could see on the camera that there was nothing pulled up.
But he looked down when he was walking past everyone. So no one said anything to him.
Right. He was plugged.
It was just the home screen. He was charging.
It was just the home screen. Kawhi probably just walks around looking at an iPad, and he's just like, this is amazing technology.
Just fascinated by the screensaver on it. But, yeah, good first two days.
I mean, this is, like I said, it's fucking awesome to have sports on all day long. So what else? Any other takeaways from the first two days? I mean, Hank, so Gordon Hayward gets hurt.
I mean, the Suns are going to win that series, right? Yeah. Even without Gordon Hayward? They're good? They'll win the series without Gordon Hayward.
I don't know about going forward. I mean, he might be back for the Eastern Conference Finals.
Your heat might be the team in the East now.

Wide open heat.

Tyler Hero, baby.

Now, are you going to be conflicted, though?

If the heat go on a run, you'll have to admit that Jimmy Butler is really good. Yeah, very much conflicted about this.

But Jimmy Butler is selling $20 cups of coffee to everybody.

He's making money.

Jay Butt.

Yeah, listen, the bag doesn't sleep.

Jay Butt is making the most out of his time down there in Florida. But yeah, he's listen, I am going to be very conflicted but I think with this heat, it's not about so much Jay Butt as it is their top 20 team.
Top 20 team. Their top 20 team.
He's not a top 20 guy. Yes.
I think that if the Lakers do lose to the Blazers or LeBron gets hurt,

I actually think a Laker fan might try to kill me.

Yeah, that's a possibility.

That might actually happen. You have to go fight somebody in Temecula.

People just need to have my back.

All the Lakers haters, all LeBron haters.

Like, Hank, you need to start having my back more.

Laker Dan.

Because we know what happens with Laker Dan.

I can't support that.

Why?

Because we know what happens.

Oh, okay. Yeah, that.
Okay, yes. I agree on that.
I'll be your bodyguard. All right, Billy.
You're my bodyguard. Billy, you know, so there's that picture of that big cat post where it's him as the Laker fan with the O'Brien trophy on his head.
Yeah. You remember the Laker bros? Those guys, that's a meme that kind of went away.
It's like two Billy footballs. Yes, in L.A.
High-fiving each other, putting on sunglasses, just saying, bro, that is you, Billy. You look awesome when you do that, Billy.
Belly Laker. I'll go get a yellow security shirt.
It'll be sick. That would be sick.
All right, so then we have hockey playoffs. The Caps are still alive.
Still alive, baby. Still alive.
Todd Reardon got a brain transplant after the first period. The fight is really what turned around.
There was a lot of scrappiness out there. That all takes some time.
Somebody alerted me to this, and this is another good Tom Wilson excuse. People are saying that Tom Wilson pushed a guy into the boards when in reality he was trying to prevent the guy from skating headfirst into the boards.
Probably saved his life. But they were saying that the boards in Toronto are livelier than they are at any other hockey arena.
They got some bounce to them. So they got bad bounce to the boards.
So Tom Wilson actually, if he boards somebody in Toronto, it's actually not that bad. Okay.
It's like pushing him into a trampoline. Do you ever think like at some point the amount of excuses that Caps fans have to make for Tom Wilson is like, we just spend all of our energy just making excuses for Tom Wilson? Maybe for some Caps fans fans but not for me because I'm so used to making excuse about everything that I get it's like a lot of it's a lot of energy spent on that have you noticed I think it's you could mine like all the Bitcoin in the world if we just took all the energy caps fans use for Tom Wilson denial yeah dirt coin that's what this one is I so there's something about watching sports though and having like a take that you're willing to defend to the ends of the earth that makes watching sports more fun.
Like with you and Mello, every single time that Mello. Oh, he stinks.
Every time he missed a shot, Big Cat was like, yes. And every time Tom Wilson gets away with doing something borderline dirty, I'm like, yes.
And it's just because. I did not say yes.
I laugh when Mello does a fucking crossover and then bricks a shot. Yeah, you chortle.
I laugh. But what I'm saying is it's fun to just watch sports and root for your takes.
Yeah, of course. Above all else.
Of course. Of course.
I mean, if the Lakers lose this series, I'll be like, well, I've now stuck myself because I do think they're going to win this series. But if they lose this series, I will ultimately be happy because I don't like the Lakers, and I want LeBron to lose and be like, ha-ha, first-round exit.
But I also would be wrong. I really want the Lakers to just lose in the next round.
Yeah. That would be the perfect spot.
And we are watching the Blackhawks and the Golden Knights right now. It's 3-3.
I'm just going to assume they win. I'm going to assume they win.
I love the Blackhawks' goalie pads. Yes.
They're awesome. They're fighting.
Listen, youngest team in the playoffs. There you go.
You can always fall back on that if your team loses. You're like, youngest team in the playoffs.
It's 3-1 right now, right? It just takes out the fact that their best players are the oldest players in the team, but the youngest team in the playoffs. How sick would that be if both the Blackhawks and the Capitals came back from 3-0 in advance? Would it be unbelievable? You might actually say it's bad sportsmanship for their opponents to be swinging away when they're up on a 3-0 count.
Yes, so we should talk about that on a hot seat, cool throne. Hot seat, cool throne.
We're going to talk about that on a hot seat, cool throne. Anything else we have about the playoffs? Oh, Hard Knocks.
Hard Knocks. Hard Knocks is a bummer hard knocks hard knocks is a bummer hard knocks is a bummer the only thing i took away from hard knocks tonight was uh seth ryan uh rex ryan's son is skinny as he's like a beanstalk that sucks he's like the deuce gruden of the ryan family the most in shape of all yeah but no but see even deuce like john john has muscle he's just an old guy uh-huh this seth seth ryan is like the opposite he's like an ultra marathoner body yeah yeah it's not i just i don't know it kind of bummed me out but they did a lot of tonight you could tell hard knocks is uh really struggling this season and i'll give him a pass because it's very tough probably to do, but they had like six different flashbacks to previous Hard Knocks.
So like Seth Ryan, you remember him. Hard Knocks 2010.
Andrew Whitworth, you remember him. Hard Knocks 2009.
And just kept on doing those. I did like that we got our first Hard Knocks spiral of the season the herbert pass yep that was a sexy slow-mo spiral right there that was sexy and the mcveigh music that was that was great i got the blood pumping for like a minute yes solid minute mcveigh started doing the monday night football theme song and it was fucking electric and they they like dubbed it in with him doing it and it was like oh football's coming back and then we also saw Jared Goff hitting hole-in-ones because he's just an incredible athlete.
I'd forgotten he was left-handed. That's a big mindfuck.
We've been to that house. We chipped on that golf green.
We almost broke a window on the shed. I think I fucking sculled one into the neighbor's yard.
Yeah, I was thinking back to that because people were like, whoa, you went to Jared Goff's house. As we were watching the Caps games, we had hard knocks on.

And Game of Thrones.

That's right.

So we watched Game of Thrones at Jared Goff's house.

And I just remembered I went into his bathroom and he's so rich that he doesn't even have locks on his doors.

Yeah.

That's when you've reached it.

When you're like, fuck it.

You know what?

If somebody walks in on me shitting, I've got $60 million.

I don't care.

And you know what? It's probably good for them.

Yeah.

They get a show.

When your home system or appliance breaks down, American home shield will help fix or replace the covered item no matter its age visit ahs.com slash listen for 20 off any plan see ahs.com slash contracts for coverage details limitations and exclusions hot seat cool thrown billy why don't you start oh thank you um i would like to put the Bengals' offensive line on the hot seat. There was a gif that was released of Joe Burrow running for his life in training camp while four defenders chased him, and a lot of people were saying, hey.
Seven defenders. Yeah, it was a lot.
It was saying, like, Joe, maybe opt out. He was quick, though.

He was running faster than them.

I mean, he's not in the hot seat, just the offensive line.

Yeah, if a tiger's chasing you, you don't have to outrun the tiger.

You just have to outrun the guy next to you.

That's what they say.

And my cool throne is the Monstars because, as Hank commented.

And we already mentioned that.

LeBron James.

How did you get a hot seat cool throne taken when you went first? Because we already mentioned that. How did you get a hot seat, cool throne taken when you went first?

Because we already discussed it.

So I'm starting to think, because Billy said I always get screwed

because I go last in hot seat, cool throne.

Now I'm realizing I think that's just a built-in excuse

that you don't actually come with a hot seat.

Billy's hot seat is always me because I'm going last.

Because she's hot seat, cool throne. He doesn't have any.
Cool throne banana boats. Oh.
Because Mello versus LeBron. There you go.
Okay. And we're back.
Yes. Nice job.
Cool throne me. All right.
Hey, go ahead. Cool throne Jake.
My hot seat is the Suns.

Yes.

This is so good.

You're probably thinking, you know, everyone's talking about the Suns today.

They were trending on Twitter.

Everyone's talking about the Suns, the Suns, the Suns. You're probably thinking maybe it's because, you know, they went 8-0.

They're not in the playoffs.

People are mad about that.

It's not because of that.

There was a clip on a NoJumper podcast of an Instagram model talking about how she sucked off seven guys on one NBA team in the same room at one time. Alanis Morissette? No, I don't know what that reference is.
And then it came out that it was the Phoenix Suns. So everyone was just talking about how the Suns all got sucked off in the same room.
Wow. Cool thrown Devin Booker, he was first.
Well, he's naturally. Yeah.
He's ball dominant. I know that.
Allegedly first. Yes.
Allegedly first. But this definitely.
I mean, they went eight. No.
Right. So is this going to be a trend? Yeah.
I mean, who? I mean, Tom Brady's drinking fucking fake, you know, like cabbage juice from Alex Guerrero. It's just if a team gets sucked off and goes 8-0, that might work.
That might be the new team TB12. I'm hoping that this was after the bubble because that could be our gone fishing instead of photoshopping a team out on the high seas.
No, I think it was before the bubble. We just photoshopped a team just lined up.
She was recollecting a story of times in the past. Yeah, it sounded like it didn't happen in the bubble.
Yeah, no, definitely not in the bubble. I was just laughing thinking about, you know, like the Phoenix Suns, like front office and like the people who run their PR being like, oh, you know, we went eight.
No, in the bubble, like could not have gone to the bubble and done any better. Like we killed it.
Devin Booker came in second MVP, like all this stuff. And it's like, oh, the Suns are trending.
Why are we trending? And then they watch the clip and they're like oh my god oh jeez are you buying this tank yeah 100 oh yeah yeah 100 i am too just because i want it so very badly to be true um everyone started retweeting the all aboard the pain train tweet that the suns had a few few weeks ago and like sun's train started trending um i mean god bless that girl no she was her job must be exact i'm surprised it was her birthday yeah she was like a present and then they're like were you like is it bad she's like no i was lit she was like cool with it it was awesome i'm shocked she could talk on a podcast after that it was uh she you know put her in traction like like kanya shout out shout out that lady. Very fine lady.
She ever wants to find out the height of part of my take and see

how... Put her in traction like Kanye Shout out that lady Very fine lady She ever wants to find out the height of Part of my take and see how How high we can take this podcast There's only six of us Just light work And I'm going to last like 30 seconds Right so Whatever Yeah Billy that would be you.
Definitely would be sixth. Actually, I would actually see, I would be like, if she would be down, like maybe just jerk off Billy and Jake at the same time.
Just go and skiing. And then we could finally see who the real alpha is.
And then my cool throw-in to talk about going skiing, talk about part of my take podcast as a team, is you team is you guys people AWL has been able to bet on Big Cat and PFT yes playing Jenga today 2 o'clock you can bet on them we're playing at 2 you guys are it starts at 2 you guys are playing at like 245.3 yep play Barstool download on the app make your picks win $500 I've got great fingers we're gonna fuck them up the return of Tittleman's crest. Oh, there we go.
Back in the booth. Nailing it.
Are you done, Hank? I'm done. Great.
Where can they find that game? I'm excited. Play Barstool.
Download it in the app store. The FD and I are going to get in the I think we're playing.
Who are we playing? Tommy Smokes and Liz. Oh, OK.
We're going to mentally out for game over. What happened in the most recent Play Barstool event, the ping pong match, the big match we were talking about on Sunday night between you and Jake? Cake beat me narrowly.
Narrowly. I heard it was different.
20 to 8 in the last. It was the rubber match.
And Cake still has a pretty much broken ankle. He's a fighter.
I'm not going to sit here and make excuses. Jake fought through.
He beat me. He beat me fair and square.
He's a fighter. It was a great match.
Great broadcast, more importantly. Yeah, what a sportsman.
I want to shout out Jake for... No, you're done.
You're done. Great recovery.
I'm done, Billy. You're done.
My hot seat is haters that don't believe in the power of football guys because Joe Judge is going full football guy with the New York Giants. He's making the coaches run laps.
Jason Garrett is in the best shape of his life.

He's doing Oklahoma-style

drills. He's doing one-on-one tackling

drills at the goal line, just lining guys up,

having them hit each other full on.

It is giving Dave Gettleman

a massive, massive erection.

Every day

this week has been a different Joe Judge

story of how he's

changing the culture.

It's so funny

watching Belichick disciples go somewhere

Thank you. this week has been a different Joe Judge story of how he's changing the culture.
It's so funny watching Belichick disciples go somewhere and just be like, I'm going to be the Belichick. He's going full Belichick.
If they win, they're fine. But if they lose, that's a quick way to become Romeo Cornell and Josh McDaniels.
Right, he's an interim head coach in a head coach's office. So doing all the,

like the Dan Campbell tricks,

the Tony Sperano tricks. He's going to bury football eventually.

He's going to burn some game film.

He removed names from jerseys.

Yep.

That's right.

That's another football guy thing he did.

He'll probably take the red jerseys

off the quarterbacks.

He's like,

you're a football player too.

I can't wait till he slowly gives names back.

Yeah.

How does that work?

How do you earn your name?

I don't know.

You got to earn your, like it's a pinstripe situation. You have to bring your mom to practice with a birth certificate.
I know the Cowboys always do that with the stars on the sides of the helmet. But yeah, Joe Judge is going full interim head coach right now.
And I hope it works just because I want to see Joe Judge in the league if he's doing hilarious stuff like this from day one. I hope it works out, but history tells us it might not.
So when they asked him, when they asked the New York media, asked Joe Judge about taking names off practice jersey, he said, we should know who we are by the way they carry themselves. It's important to know the person across from you by the way they move.
There you go. Yes.
You need to know their movement. It's as's as unique as a fingerprint i mean honestly i could spot eli manning his run his gate from anywhere so daniel jones probably isn't that far off they should actually make daniel jones earn the brooks brother logo on the front of all his button-up shirts question do we have video of the coaching staff running uh i don't i didn't see any video of it okay because there's no chance that brett Bielma ran there's no chance freddie kitchens ran wait is he on the giant yes both of them are on the giant staff maybe he's just trying to get him into shape that's there's no dude joe judge is gonna kill his whole fucking staff that it would be unreal like football during a pandemic and you get no positive corona tests but joe judge kills two of his coaches because of laps but that is a great way to ensure that there are no minor mistakes on offense and defense for the linebackers because you know that bielham is going to run once i can't think of two guys that would want to run less than brett bielham and freddie kitchens no i can't uh because they don't exist.
So there's Jason Garrett, who's probably behind.

He's probably keeping the pace and clapping.

Jason Garrett's been running.

He's an overachieving asshole.

He went to Princeton.

He's been running laps forever.

Instead of the 13.1 or the 26.2 on the back of his car,

he's just got 8 and 8 in that little bubble.

Who else do we have?

We've got Derek Dooley's on that staff, too.

Okay.

Former Tennessee head coach. Yep.
In his pants. In his pants and his shower discipline you remember that yep he gave his he gave a workshop to the Tennessee volunteers on how to properly clean themselves in the shower yes because his team had a massive staff infection uh and then on my cool throne I've got legs legs are on the cool throne NFL media is salivating absolutely busting grapes over aj dylan and his tree trunk sequoia legs now it's at the point where like the first picture came out and everybody was like holy shit look at this guy he's thick with like seven c's uh and now it's to the point where all the photographers are just trying to get pictures of aj dylan it's like remember eddie lacy yes so it it's like the reverse Eddie Lacy where they're all trying to get that one angle of this guy's muscle.
It's like if Eddie Lacy's stomach were legs, they're trying to capture that moment. So expect to see a lot more of A.J.
Dillon's hamstrings and quads. Yes.
All right. My hot seat.
Let's talk about baseball. So my hot seat is the unwritten rules of baseball.
we had the entire story Fernando Tatis hitting a Fernando Tatis Jr.

hitting a grand slam when the Padres were up seven in the eighth inning on a 3-0 count. And now...
Was there anyone who was actually offended by this? I think only the managers. I think only...
And then when Tatis had to do an apology, people were like, fuck this, why do you apologize? But this is one of those moments where we have to take a step back and be like, show me the people who are fighting. Like, it's probably just Aubrey Huff and, like, Peter Gossage.
Yeah, Goose Gossage. He's definitely pissed off.
And, like, Peter Gammons. And, like, that's probably it.
Well, I think I would agree with you. But the fact that both managers were like, that was Bush League.
You know that. So since they're the ones that are calling me.
I think Manny Machado is pissed off because he knew that he was going to get hit. Yeah, that I understand.
I understand as a teammate. But I just.
Sportsmanship in professional sports shouldn't exist. Just ban it.
Literally, great.

When you're a pro, fuck that. On the other hand, it was kind of nice to wake up to a debate about the unwritten rules of baseball.
Because all the other headlines that we've had in baseball have been like, the Cardinals went to an all-you-can-eat bat restaurant in Las Vegas. And everybody has coronavirus.
That's what we've been waking up to for the last three weeks. Zach Pleszak goes out to an EDM concert and does an Instagram live from there.
Clevenger pulled a Phoenix Suns with his teammates and got coronavirus from one Instagram model. It was a lot of that going on.
That's just hazing though in baseball. That's true.
Good point, Hank. Good point.
But yeah, it's nice to see an unwritten rules debate. It feels like it's been years since we've had one.
It is. It feels really good to have unwritten rules talked about.
I just, we need to find. He stole third today, too.
Yeah, he did. That got people re-mad.
Yeah. And then the Rangers tweeted, like, have fun with this one, trolls.
They lost today again to the Padres. And then they did the thing on Twitter where you can't reply.
No one can got us you can quote tweet it though I really do think we need to make we need to like teach one of those classes at like Medill at Syracuse and be like we need to every like 10% of every Syracuse, Mizzou, Northwestern, Columbia journalist grad needs to be the torch like bearers for unwritten rules whoever graduates top in their class yes or bottom that's whatever you decide but we need because my problem is i can't argue against unwritten rules if there's no one still earnestly arguing for them it feels futile to be like you like i can't believe people are mad about this then you look at twitter it's like no one's actually mad about this so we need a designated group like i would love for someone to start a list here are the unwritten rules people the danny cannell scholarship award right goes to those people yeah you go these are the people the doug gottlieb uh uh kids who who can't understand unwritten rules good.

I think it's mostly inside the game of baseball right now. It's either people that used to play or people that are currently playing the game.
Right. That get mad about it.
I'm actually curious if Gottlieb. Because Gottlieb, he is really.
You know how there's beavers? The beaver population is a sign of whether the ecosystem is doing well. Doug Gottlieb's take is whether I can figure out if we are on the right path as a society.
Because if he's got the terrible take, you're like, okay, we're doing something right. Yes.
So I wonder if he's even on the side of Tatis, then we're fucked. We are.
But I'm pretty sure that he would be because he just puts his finger up in the wind. He's like, which way is everybody else blowing? No, but he still fucks it.
I'm over there. He still somehow fucks it up.
I'm over there. Yeah.
I mean, if Doug Gottlieb starts to agree with me about things, then I think it's on me to then have to disagree with Doug Gottlieb. Yeah.
Yes. You got to look at the man in the mirror.
Okay. So I'm looking.
Nope. He didn't even talk about it.
Damn. He's doing the baldy breakdowns for basketball now.
Oh's nice yeah all right my cool throne is big 10 football because big 10 football's back totally it's officially back sir yacht sir yacht who is sir yacht he's a random dude on twitter who last night i got tagged in one of his tweets and he was like um so my sources are telling me that the big 10 football season like schools are very upset Big Ten football season still is back on. So then I went on his periscope.
I'm pretty sure he was drunk. And then he said he has a source.
A high-place source. One source.
Okay. And then he also said today that Kevin Warren, the Big Ten commissioner, is 75% chance he resigns.
Kevin Warren doesn't have – he doesn't know what he's going to do. There's been all sorts of reports that have come out in the last day or two that just say there was no vote that was put up.
Kevin Warren just kind of figured out that they could be sued if he didn't cancel the season. Maybe, and then he decided to.
I think just if enough people go viral, then that'll convince them to put the season back on. I know.
Which actually, ironically, would also convince them to cancel. Right, right.
I know deep down that it's not going to happen. But I can dream.
You never know. One person has a source.
It's not over till it's over. It's not over till it's over.
Just keep feeding me, feeding me, feeding me different schedule releases and worst case scenario, ban jersey exchanges. Just tell me random sources and say it with enough confidence and I'll be like, I'm just going to hope this is true.
If he's Aria Abraham, I'll fucking, I'll block that kid. Suryat, you're dead to me if you screw this up.
No, but he's given you so much joy in the last 24 hours. Yeah, but no risk it, no biscuit.
There you go. He's in the scoops game he put his he put his reputation on the line if he's right i will be shouting suryat from the fucking mountaintops but if he's wrong you're in the area abraham abraham hashtag done yeah done done all protein bars generally taste the same but not one bars one made protein bars are actually delicious with Reese's and Hershey's.
Only one Reese's peanut butter lover's protein bar is made with Reese's peanut butter, and only one Hershey's cookies and cream protein bar is made with Hershey's cookie bits while delivering 18 grams of protein and 3 grams of sugar. OneBars are the perfect protein bar to get you through your busy day, whether you need a quick pick me up between meetings or you need some fuel to power you through your next workout.
One also has other delicious flavors like birthday cake, maple glazed donut and blueberry cobbler. Find all one bars at a retailer near you or on Amazon.com.
okay we now welcome on a very special guest. It is NFL legend.
He's also, would you say that you're America's sweetheart? It's Michael Strahan. Would you say that's fair? America's sweetheart? No, no, no, no, no.
I'm seen by America, but I'm not America's sweetheart. I'm a sweet guy.
You kind of fall into that category, though. Yeah.
Maybe America's stepdad. Yeah, America's nice stepdad.
America's crazy neighbor. America's nice stepdad who doesn't treat you like a stepchild.
Yeah, I like that. So you also are a Hall of Famer, I should have mentioned that, and a Super Bowl winner.
And we have a lot of stuff we want to talk to, but I actually wanted to start there because I saw that your jerseys up for auction or something from the Super Bowl game. But I don't think that's your jersey.
Tell what's going on. I saw that, too.
That's not the jersey that I have hanging downstairs in my gym. That's not the jersey that I remember wearing at the game.
And, you know, that was the last game I ever played. And I kind of knew if we were going to win, I was going to retire anyway.
And it's the Super Bowl. So I just knew after that game I was going to keep everything.
I kept everything except for the shoulder pads. That's the only thing I didn't keep.
So I packed everything in a bag once we came off the field, stinky, nasty, subbed it into my helmet and into a duffel bag and gave it to my buddy Ian Smith and the jersey's hanging downstairs and the rest of it I have the rest of the jersey I have my gloves my wrist brace my shoes I got everything so when I saw that I was a little surprised too man all right yeah how does that work is there like a backup jersey that you have in case yours gets torn during the game could that be it i mean i don't know we always have backups we always have backup jerseys but that the jersey i had is the one i wore the end i have the one i wore the entire game and um then when i got back to new jersey i take it out the bag the whole thing is wet still soaking wet and nasty and had to let it air out i didn't wash it I didn't want to have it washed because if you wash it, you pretty much wash away the game. In my opinion, it looks just like every other jersey you've ever worn.
So the thing still has the stains on it from dirt and Gatorade and the stench if you were to take it out of the frame. Okay, so everyone should know that if you see an auction with the jersey that Michael Strahan wore in the Super Bowl, it's not real.
He has it, and he's not selling it. So erroneous on all accounts.
Yeah, I mean, why would I sell that? I mean, I don't need to sell it. I don't need the money.
To me, that was the epitome and the best thing that ever happened in my career was winning that Super Bowl. That was better than Pro Bowls and, you know, and all that stuff because that was something I had the chance to do with the guys.
And, yeah, when I saw it, I was surprised, man. So, you know, I was like, okay, maybe I thought for a second maybe I was going crazy.
So I said, okay, let me go get my stuff, right? So there are my shoes. Okay.
Maybe I forgot something else. Then I said, man, I've got my gloves.
Here are my gloves right here. It is not fair, too, because when you see that story, my initial thought was like, ooh, is Michael Strahan having tough times? He's got to sell that jersey.
Yeah. And it's kind of bullshit.
Yeah. Here's my wrist brace.
See and see i've broken right there but that's my wrist brace okay do you have your cup where can we buy your cup off you nah it's on the pants you just do you just keep these like hanging out around your house they're not like in a bag or a frame or anything i keep this stuff like i keep i have a i have a storage unit where i keep it here's my helmet still in plastic whoa okay nice so but I keep this stuff like I have a storage unit where I keep it. Here's my helmet.
It's still in plastic. Whoa.
Okay. Nice.
But I keep this stuff. Like, you know, to be honest with you, if you come to my house, in my gym is the only place I have any football memorabilia.
So if you come to the gym, you go downstairs, I have my Super Bowl jersey. I have two game-worn Pro Bowl jerseys and then one that's a replica jersey.
And then I have, like, a man cave where I have everything else. Because I never was a guy who, like, football, I did it.
I loved it. But I didn't want to, like, freeze my mind that people walk in the house and the only thing they see is, oh, he's football.
Like, I'm more than that. Like, I'm a human being with a lot more interest.
So I didn didn't want to like almost stifle my thinking and to think that football is the only thing that I could do when I walk into my own house and that's all I see. So I've always kind of separated the two.
So I keep this stuff stored away. And I really don't look at it that much, except for my jersey, which is in the gym.
And that's here at the house because that was the most special piece of memorabilia that I have.

And I'm not a big collector of a lot of things, but that I definitely wanted to keep. You're America's sweetheart.
So let's talk about that game real quick because it's obviously one of the most famous games in NFL history, I'd say. The Patriots going for a perfect 19-0.
At what point in the game did you say to yourself and the guys on the defensive line, And, like, this is working.

Like, we're – they're not looking like they've looked the last, you know, 18 weeks? Well, I think – I'm not going to say they weren't looking like they looked. I think we weren't looking like they expected us to look.
Ah. And I would say after the first two defensive series, we were hitting Tom Brady so many times and so fast within the first two series.
We thought, I thought, okay, this is kind of a joke. Like they're playing with us.
They're letting us get to him so fast that they can dump a little screen over our head or they can do something like that. And then you started to realize after the first two series, no, we are just playing a lot faster than they are on offense right now.
And we just needed to keep it close. It's just like anything, like a boxing match or anything.
You keep it close, you always got a chance for a knockout. And for us, thank goodness, we had a chance for the knockout and we did it.
Yeah, yeah. We had Gotham Chopra on the show a couple weeks ago, the documentarian.
He said that every time he's been around Tom Brady and you at the same time, the very first thing that you do is you bring up that game to him. You won't let it go.
Man, Tom got six of them, so he could take it for one. I think that would hurt him the most because it was a perfect season.
Yeah. So, yeah, he's told me that.
And you know what? I'm like one and one in Super Bowls. He's like six out of nine or whatever.
To be at the Super Bowl nine times in his career and anybody's career is insane. But yeah, Gotham is a Patriots fan.
Right. So he's upset.
Tom's upset. I'm surprised we're business partners, but I'll take whatever I can get.
But hey, I'm happy with my one, man. I'm not getting greedy.
I'll take it. Looking back a couple weeks before that game, the famous Tom Coughlin red face game in Green Bay.
Did you think that Coach Coughlin was going to die? I thought he had, you know, my mom called me. My mom never called me about anything like that.
I mean, when I was a kid, if you got hurt, my mom would basically say, rub some dirt on it, get up. If I ever got hurt as a pro, I'd never laid on the field.
I always made it off the field. And if I had to go to the locker room, I would at least go in the tunnel and then collapse.
Like, don't collapse on the field because mama wasn't playing that. She called me and said, is he okay? Because he looked like your shirt.
I mean, that man was red. I'm surprised they did not have a frostbite.
And we had some guys who did because that was ridiculous. What do they do? When it's that cold, man, they always tell you, don't go outside.
Make sure you don't put your animals out. Put your car in the garage.
And here they're like, oh, football players, it was crazy insane yeah um are you is eli definitely a surefire uh first ballot hall of famer in your eyes i mean you're biased but no i think in it i think eli the hall of famer is the first ballot i don't know but i think he's a surefire hall of famerer without a doubt. I think just the two Super Bowl wins and the clutch play that he had, just the career that he had without missing games and all those things, definitely, in my opinion, makes him a Hall of Famer.
First ballot, that's up to so many other people's opinions other than mine, because I don't vote. Yeah.
What about the new coach the Giants have, Joe Judge? He sounds like he's starting to do – he's going down that dangerous path where all the former Patriots assistant coaches, they try to do this. They try to be real hard-asses in their first year, like Matt Patricia telling reporters to sit up with better posture, doing all these weird football guy things, trying to replicate the system that worked in New Englandland how can somebody come in from like outside of your culture and implement that without the players just being like fuck you you know like i'm i'm a grown man i'm an adult i'm a professional i don't need to be right you know running laps because i jumped off sides day one of uh training camp i'll be honest with you that was the same way with koffman when he first came in he was a hard ass and we gave him the middle finger just like you just did.
Like, dude, what are you doing? Like, we've been here. We're vets.
We don't need all this crap that you're doing. And I think Judge, I saw today he had the coaches running with the linemen.
I'm like, man, your coach would be killing you if you screwed him up. Have you seen the way these coaches look? They're not in running shape.
Yeah. So he's got the coaches out here running, man, which I think is going to change a lot of stuff.
I've seen so many coaches, especially Belichick, ex-coaches, who come and try to be Belichick. I think if this is really what Joe Judge is, then players will buy into it.
But more than anything, a player, Bill Belichick can be as hard-ass as he wants. But at the end of the day, the players know that he cares about them.
And that's what it boils down to. Coughlin, when he came in, it was like we were like little pieces to be put here and there.
We didn't have any connection with him as a human being. But the second we connected with him and we realized he saw us as people, our team got better our team started to win so i don't think there's there's any mistaking that having a connection a human connection with your team is what helps you win and so if he has that he has the shot if he doesn't i don't care how many laps you run how good bad nice or not nice you are you just won't win what about um like how did that work out with with coughlin how did he show you that he was actually human he like lets you use the bathroom once per day or you know being like seven minutes early yeah he's like don't worry that's cool that's where it happened with me yeah supposed to be five minutes early and we had this whole big debate because he tried to find some guys who were like seven minutes early because he but he had already closed the door to the room so he's like that's like that's like like coach you saw those guys standing out there then you did that on purpose yeah and i think that that was when he kind of lost a lot of some respect from the team but guys were like man this guy's crazy i was the designated go talk to coughlin guy whenever anybody had a problem because i was the oldest guy there like year 14 or 13 13, 12, 13, 14, where I was kind of like, I don't give a damn face.
And I would talk to him. He would just dismiss it.
Yeah, I hear you. I hear you.
I hear you. And we had an agreement that it was five minutes early.
But if you were in within that five minute time frame, you got, you talked to you. He didn't find you.
And I came in three minutes early to a meeting and I got a letter.

Yeah.

And I got a letter on my stool for 500 bucks.

It wasn't the $500.

It's like, okay, 500 bucks.

It was the principle.

And the fact that he and I just had this conversation after I was dealing with the other guys who got fined.

And we, we were going to our practice bubble because it's cold outside. And he and I, we started out in a nice cordial conversation.
Like, hey, coach, you know, I just got this letter on my stool. He's like, yeah.
I said, I said I was late and I got fined. He said, yeah.
I said, but coach, I wasn't late. And then it just kept escalating.
And I'm trying to be, you know, nice guy, Michael. But then when he said, well, next time, don't cut it so close.

It could have been more.

That's when I went full football, Michael.

Full John Runyon, Eric Williams.

I don't care about nobody.

I'm going to hurt you, guy.

And I just looked at him, man, and I let him have it.

I just let him have it.

I'm not going to say what I said, but put it this way. Next time I'm late, F it.
I'll come in here when I want to. I'll stop and run errands to get IHOP, and then I'll come in here with that.
I want to. If I'm going to be late, you're going to find me.
I'll do what I want to do. And he looked at me, and he goes, you can't talk to me like that.
And I said, yes, I can. I said, if you don't respect me, I'm not going to respect you.

And he was still in shock and he still said some other things.

And I said, well, you know, I always tell you what's going on.

And I'm always trying to tell you what the players are coming to me for.

And then when I say it, you just say, I hear you.

I hear you.

I say, you're dismissing me.

Do you think I'm stupid?

You're just dismissing me.

But listen to this. You're losing this team.
team do you hear that and i walked away from it and ever since that conversation been like that that's great because i think i think he realized like i can't keep just beating guys down finding finding you for wearing your socks your socks aren't high high enough. Huh? I'm at practice, dude.

You think I care if I have on a gray sleeve or a blue sleeve?

They're both in my locker because they come with the giant issue equipment.

I'm not worried about what colors I'm wearing.

I'm not a gang.

We're a football team.

Go ahead and play.

It was just crazy, man.

But once we got on track, guys loved it.

Yeah.

Really went to battle for them.

That's interesting because I think a lot of coaches get right to that point,

that point in the road, the fork in the road.

So it's like, which way am I going to go here? Especially with pro football because you guys, in college, you can kind of get away with it because you get a turnover of people, of players, but in pro it's a little different. So Coughlin after that, was he a little bit nicer or was it just he listened to you more i think both i think both he was he was nicer in a sense that you felt like he actually had concern and um and he actually would try to come around and tell jokes and stuff and try to be funny which was so out of character even if he's not funny it's funny because he's Trying, right not funny it's funny because he's trying right do you remember like are we supposed to laugh it was a little uncomfortable for a while do you realize okay he's really trying to show us his personality and i think that guys guys once they saw that guys bought into it and i used to tell guys all the time you know when i used to go but i'd have to butt heads with them and i had to realize to my i realized okay either i got to be a part of the problem i'm going to be a part of the problem or i'm going to be a part of the solution which one do i want to be my career is winding down once we get to the meat of our disagreements at the center of it all is we both want to win it's really we both had the same goals just kind of going about in a different way and i said i want to be a part of the solution so i thought if i buy in with some of his stuff and he eased up on some of his other stuff we could meet in the middle and guys are going to follow and guys did man and i'm thankful for it so you mentioned going off on kauflin there and i it reminded me we you know you're very very good friend probably i can say best friend, Jay Glazer has been a friend of ours for a few years.
He's been on our show a bunch of times. I think he told us once that of all the people that he's been around, you have the switch where when you flip it, you can just go crazy mode.
You're the nicest guy in the world, but you have that like, all right, now it's a football game. Like I'm going to destroy you kind of feel to it.
Do you ever think about that when you're like, you know, on TV in front of like a bunch of moms in America watching you in the morning? In the back of your head, you're like, remember that football switch that I have? Like, do you ever go back in the back of your brain and think about about that switch I mean the switch is there I mean hey the switch is always there I just don't need it now if I if I flipped it on tv I probably scare a lot of people yeah but but for football it's like it was literally it was it's survival and that's what people a lot of people look at it's a game a game. Okay, big guys run around, they hit each other, they do all these things.
Okay, that's great. No, for me, it was survival.
And to me, it was respect. I didn't care about anything.
I didn't care about, you know, pro bowls and all that stuff were going to come if I went out there and played for respect. And I played for respect.
I never played to cheat the game. I wasn't playing.
Of course, you're playing for to make a living but it wasn't as if okay I gotta go out here and make money because after a certain point that's not enough to continue to play for me it was about respect so when I look at a guy who's 350 pounds and I'm at the you know weighing 200 and my heavy is 75 last three years of my career, 240-something, 250, I got to survive.

It's me or you.

When they turn on the tape tomorrow, they ain't going to see me getting laid out.

They ain't going to see me getting run over.

They're not going to see.

And I just said, hey, it's me or you, and it's going to be you.

My will to win is greater than your will to keep me from winning.

And that was the switch.

When we can have this conversation, we can laugh and joke.

You know, say, defense, I'll grab a helmet, I'll put it on and turn like that. Well, all right.
So it's about respect. And you have the switch still.
So would you flip the switch if someone said, hey, Michael, remember that time you paid Brett Favre to take a dive so you could get the sack record? No need to flip the switch on that. 22 and a half, baby.
If you don't like it, go break it. How much did you pay him, though? Seriously.
Please. You know, I don't have enough money to pay Brett Favre for anything.
How about that? But that's what kills me. That's what's so funny about people.
Everybody, oh, that sack with Brett Favre. If they only knew, I can give a rat's ass about sack record.
They didn't mean anything. Records are meant to be broken.
The only record I cared about when it came to sacks, I already had. That's LT's single season record with the Giants.
Yeah, but they didn't count sacks when LT was a rookie. Senior single season.
Do you know what he did when he was a rookie? He could have had 30 sacks. You don't know that.
He didn't get 20-something sacks. Did you watch the film? I watched the film.
He didn't get 20-something sacks. Deacon Jones told me one year he had like 80 sacks.
I'm like, Deacon, I love you. No way you had 80 sacks.
But I would absolutely do that. If I played back in the day, I would make up stats all the time for some of my games that they didn't keep back then.
Yeah, Deacon, Deacon, you're my man. I mean, you're talking about somebody who took care of me as a young player.
Rest in peace, my man Deacon Jones. But Deacon's like, I'm a British sack.
I had 80 sacks in one year. I'm like, Deacon, nobody had 80.
And it was funny because I was talking to Lawrence. I was at a golf tournament with Lawrence last year.
And we're talking, and he's going on about sacks. You got the John Sack record.
That's my record. And I said, LG.
They didn't count sacks. I said, whose fault is that? It's not my fault.
I said, I broke the number that was there. He go, well, you know I missed however many games.
And I go, that wasn't my fault you took drugs. Yeah, true.
And he even had to laugh at that man he yeah that dude i love him because it's tough for the competitor and as intimidating as he was and still can be um

he always was great to his teammates yeah great me and i was standing behind him every day and

like the dummy for practice squad to him always took care of me give you the shirt off his back

Thank you. great to his teammates.
He was great to me. And I was standing behind him every day and like the dummy for practice squad to him.
Always took care of me. Give you the shirt off his back.
Always wanted the best. And I love about those teams between LT.
I play a lot of golf with OJ Anderson. Harry Carson is my man.
I mean, these guys took care of me when they didn't have to because I was that new generation that usually doesn't listen to any of the older guys but they those guys took care of me I love them okay so speaking of a former teammate um do you still not talk to Tiki oh yeah I talk to Tiki okay but you have you won that so that the famous you you had a contract dispute and Tiki did the thing that you're not supposed to do and tried to you know talked out of turn you guys had it out I just want to say I mean Tiki has a good career going but you basically got the career that Tiki wanted and also won a Super Bowl I mean Tiki had it Tiki had a TV career yeah but you're Michael Strahan you're America's sweetheart that's very nice you're nice you're very nice you know you know but my career is completely different from his because my route to where I was going was completely different. First of all, I played football and won a Super Bowl.
That helps. He retired a year before.
I think it helped that I was able to go into the entertainment side of television, not straight to the news. I was able to actually do the football side of it on a fun show and not a show that was that structured.

I think it's CBS was at that time. And I never looked at it like for me.

I think when Tiki came out, he wanted to make a splash. So he talked about Coughlin.
He talked about Eli. He did a lot of things that I personally wouldn't have done, because at the end of the day,

I'm not going to say something about the guy that just went on the field on the field and played with for the network or for rating or anything like that. But I think at that time, there's probably a lot of pressure on him to do that.
But I'm friends with him now, definitely good friends with him now. You know, I let bygones be bygones.
At the end of the day, I got my money. It's true.
That was, my whole thing was about just – you just don't talk about somebody else's financial situation when it's not your own without completely understanding. Just don't do it.
I think what you've done is like there are a lot of people that currently play right now who say, I want to be the next Michael Strahan when I retire, not realizing that like not everybody can do what you do. I feel like you've got a pretty diverse skill set going on.
When Gronk retired, he tried to do Fox. He was in the media for a little bit.
I think he worked with you on some of the Thursday night stuff. Do you have any advice for these guys being like, hey, here's how you can become the most liked person in America? You know what, man? First of all, you got to enjoy it.
You got to enjoy it. You, you, you have to, you have to work at it.
And everyone sees now and goes, Oh, Michael's doing this. Michael's doing that.
They didn't see when I'm getting turned down for things, when I couldn't get called back from people, when I'm, um, hosting events and doing things for nothing, just to get the experience of doing it for messing up when I'm messing up. And, you know, all these people just didn't see that.
Now they think, oh, he just showed up on TV a long way from showing up. I started doing things on TV when I was with the Giants just because they'd asked me and I would do it.
And I thought, oh, that was fun. Let me do it again.
I never thought about it being a career, but now it's a career. But for all these guys who are out there playing now, my biggest advice, play as long as you can, play as hard as you can, make the most that you can, put it away, and make that your primary job.
Don't start trying to be 20 other people because your primary job right now that's going to get you to the ends and to the business is football. Don't lose focus of your primary for something that is secondary and can wait.
I like your point, though, about not saying no to things and going out and doing a bunch of different things. Because I think that happens a lot in the media industry where you see the finished product and you don't realize, like, oh, he's actually been putting in reps everywhere forever.
You know what's so crazy? The first thing that I ever did, and I think back to it now, it was pretty dangerous. There used to be an electronics company called Topps here in New Jersey.
And every Monday night, I used to go to a winning draw lottery. I go to the winner's house and watch Monday night football with them and whoever they invited with a footlong sandwich that fed like 20 people and some drinks.
So here I am just pulling up at strangers' houses, and I was watching football. And so you have to learn how to talk to people.
You have to learn to get along with people. You have to learn how to decipher and figure out a room real quick.
So I thought about that. I'm like, that was really stupid.
But now I look at it and go, that really helped me in my career. When I first started with Best Damn Sports Show, I used to sit in front of a camera like this, but I didn't have a monitor.
I couldn't see everybody on the other end, but I had to be animated and responsive to

their conversation to be a part of it. So all those things that at the time I was doing, I was

just doing it because I didn't really know, have now come into play in what I do now. But it's a

lot of work and everything, the learning experience and failure, the learning experience,

don't get discouraged. You just got to keep pushing forward.
And, and, and, but, you know, I just want athletes to want athletes to know too to be honest with you i mean tv is only a part of what i do i mean we had a production company we produce game shows tv shows movies we have a talent management company we have clothing companies um have the business with gotham and tom as well that production company so football and tv are only serve several small aspects of what you can do with your life there are just so many more things out there that this could lead to if you play your cards right so you you have a million jobs you're one of the hardest working guys out there uh i was actually talking to our new co-worker deon sanders primetime don't know if you ever heard of him he said you're scared to do a podcast with him i'm not scared to do a podcast with deon i told deon he had to loosen up his pants in the crotch area before i do a podcast and i can hear the screen the screaming from um his um nether regions for help and uh he does like the tight fit he's gone the euro fit speaking of that he's always talking he calls my either you're wearing that wayne brady suit like i got this nice suit on he's got the euro fit that's true so on the other end of the spectrum um i'm just this just popped in my head but do you uh have like a fond feeling of the nfl sunday show coming to a close when Terry Bradshaw like untucks his shirt and he looks like a dude who's been sitting at a bar for the last seven hours? You're like, all right, time to go home, Terry. Yeah.
Hey, man, that's light for everybody at home. You should be in the dressing room with him when he got the tiny whiteys on.
That right there is a sight to behold America. Trust me.
But, you know, that show, man, I'm so thankful for the show. It is the best thing in the world.
So much fun. The guys are amazing.
And you don't realize there is no age difference when we're on the show. There is none.
Jimmy's not 70-something, and I'm not the youngest one there. Let me just let that be known.
But it's no age difference. We all like guys and kids and boys who love the sports, and we love each other.
And there is so much support and love there for everything that we do there and away from there. And I can't think of a better brothers.
We're not even co-workers. We're brothers.
And the group texts that we're on, all these things, it's not like we just show up and do a show on sunday and we don't communicate man we talk to each other all the time i talk to them more than i just about talk to anybody else in my life who's the glue guy the glue who holds it all together who's the glue guy of that group um um kurt menifee okay is the like he he's, if you need a random fact or something, you got to ask Kurt. He knows the answer to everything.
But he is the guy that I think everybody knows is always together and got his stuff together. You can ask anything, too, and he's going to come through for you.
What's Terry like on the group thread? What's his text game like? Just like what his talking's like on Sunday. Gibberish.
Imagine those words in text. The greatest thing is when Jimmy figured out voice notes and emojis.
I can imagine, yeah. I would love to see what Terry's speech to text translates to.
If that can pick up on that Louisiana accent. Put it this way.
That translator's having a hard time, man. Yeah.
Hard time. How do you manage your schedule? Like, this is a stupid question, but, like, how do you do it? Sleep.
You got to learn when to sleep. I'll be honest with you.
That was the hardest part. When you're doing the news, I'm up every morning.
Yeah, what time do you get up? I'm up at, like, five. Okay.
I'm up at like five. Okay.
Gross. But it's not like I'm up at five, have some coffee, hang out.
No, I'm up and I got to be going. Like I got to be thinking.
I got to be reading. I got to know what's coming on.
I'm coming up. And there is no, oh, give me a cup of coffee, close my office door, let me relax and get into the day.
No, you got to be on it. And so with that, the hardest part is being disciplined enough to go to sleep, which now I'm fine with it.
But at that, when I first started, that was tough, man. You're just trying to burn both ends of the candle that will wear you out.
So now get to bed early. I do that.
And after that, I have meetings. And before COVID, it was crazy.
I'm constantly running. Now this has slowed it down a little bit.
And now I just try to, I think this has shown me that just, I need to break every once in a while. So I try to put everything I can on a day or two of the week and then have the other days when I'm just off from the GMA that I had a day to myself so I can go play golf or do nothing.
It sounds exhausting. It sounds really, really tiring to wait.
I mean, forget about the rest of it. Just waking up before 8 o'clock every morning seems just awful to me.
What time do you guys get up? It depends on the day. Well, we work late.
I have a son, so I get up at 7. Sometimes we're here until like 2 o'clock in the morning.
Typically wake up at like 8, maybe 9. Wow.
Yeah. It depends on really what time of year it is.
I wake up and get mad because I have a kid and no one else does. So I wake up and I'm like, fuck, everyone's definitely still sleeping.
Fuck this. Oh, yeah.
Sometimes I'll wake up at like 1130. I'll text the group.
I'll be like, hey, guys, I just woke up to college game day. Anyone else see this? Big cat's like, fuck you.
Fuck you. I've changed six diapers.
That's all right. They're all going to die alone.
I'm going to have a son who loves me forever. I've got a dog and he's going to live forever, so that's good too.
Got a question about your buddy Jay. I've got too much on Jay.
We've shared a lot of stories with Jay. He always likes to talk about how he's a great fighter.
He's a big MMA guy. He can beat anybody up, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
Do you think that Jay could beat you up if you were asleep? So Jay gets like maybe one good punch, and before you wake up, you have to realize the fight environment you're in, and then you can just go wild on him. Ooh.
Ooh. I'll be honest with you.
I used to be able to whip Jay pretty handedly. Jay's tough, man.
Like, Jay went from, like, shaking your hand to greet you to giving you a leg kick. That was his way of saying hello.
What the hell are you doing? What the hell is wrong with you? Yeah. But Jay, I mean, if he puts me in my sleep and woke me up, oh, he's going to take a beating because that's what they call waking up hot and heavy, as my dad used to say.
And you catch me like that, I'm going to work and whip you. I may whip you unconsciously, but I'm going to whip you.
But Jay is not a pushover anymore. Right.
And I watch him train, and I've been in there with him training. He's trained me.
He actually knows what he's doing. I've known Jay so long that I'm surprised he actually even has a job.

So I'm just like, dude, it's really

amazing, his MMA stuff, and what he

built over there at Unbreakable with the team

and the people that he's built it with.

I'm proud of Jay. And the thing

I'm most proud about with Jay, to be

honest with you, is MVP.

Yes.

This guy

is, you know, Jay back in the day could be selfish and i said jay mvp you are the most unselfish selfish person i've ever met yeah that's fine though yeah when i say that but what he does with that program man is the thing i'm most proud of him about outside of him building a career that he's built from nothing because when i was there when I was there when Jay was struggling I'm offering to help him pay his rent he's like nope won't take it so he's he's obviously talked about how you have helped his career uh do you think he's helped your career because in talking about like why everyone loves Michael Strahan I think maybe part of it is you walk around all the time with like a short psycho guy who everyone's like, dude, just chill out. And then you comparatively are like, that guy's so nice.
Everybody thinks I'm the bodyguard. He's the bodyguard, the little short guy.
Jay helped me on and off the field. On the field, he helped me by lying to me because every time we would get ready for a game, he'd go, oh, Michael, hey, hey, this guy, hey, the media guy, they were telling me, he was talking about, you're not nothing, straight hand ain't anything, straight hand ain't going to do nothing, I'm going to do this, straight hand, I'm going to do that.
I used to get in the game and look at the guy and say, oh, I'm not this, I'm not that, you about to see, I'm about to whip you, you know. Then eventually one guy was like, what are you talking about? and I think Lonnie Pelele or somebody with the Eagles

who used to play You know, then eventually one guy was like, what are you talking about?

And I think Lonnie Pelele or somebody with the Eagles who used to play the Giants with me.

And he said, all right, him straight hand up and practice.

And now I'm with the Eagles.

I'm going to shut them down.

After the game, I'm like, yeah, yeah.

And Lonnie's like, what are you talking about?

So I said, Jay, did he say anything?

Like he goes, well, no, he actually didn't. And neither did the last seven guys.
did the last seven guys but he got me ready to play and i'll never forget being at fox the way he helped me with tv is jay would come in and say okay what are you going to say today and i'm like i figured out he's like no what are you going to say he would help me craft my notes and then he would make me say it to him as if i'm on air which is uncomfortable when you're sitting there with your friends acting like well then you know i'm like you know say it like you're gonna say it on air and then he would say take that out punctuate this get to the point tell experiences that you have that other people don't have you can say the regular things that everybody else says but you've been in a locker room you know what the mentality is you've been in there when the coach is yelling at halftime, or you've been in there with this thrill of victory. Share that with people.
That's what they don't experience. So Jay has helped me in more ways than I can say in broadcasting.
He's been a good one to keep around. Yeah.
Did you go to that party with him at Sylvester Stallone's house? Yeah, man. I was there.
Yeah. We heard about that.
That was the name drop city. Yeah.
Party of the century. Incredible there.
Yes. Yeah, I tell you, man, I don't know how the little guy does it.
He offends everybody and then they take them in. I don't get it.
Yeah, he offended us when he said he had the biggest news ever. And then it was like the Rams backup center got coronavirus.
But we still love him. Yeah, I mean, when he did that, I think he was so mad because I think people are blowing up his Twitter and Instagram thing, man.
I was like, Jay, to be honest with you, I don't even know who the guy is. Yeah, you kind of missed that one.
That's okay. We all make mistakes.
But at the same time, it also speaks to the weight of whenever he tweets out news, it's always the biggest news. It's always out of nowhere.
So when he says he has a story, people are like, Odell Beckham's getting traded again. Something to that magnitude.
And then it ended up being what it was, and then he had to defend it. The fallout was very funny.
But yeah, it's actually like a problem of his own design because he's been so good at his job. And you're right.
He does such big news that when he said that, because he never really said that before. And I'm like, but the thing is, I'll give it to Jay.
He won't tell me. He won't tell.
He will not tell you ahead of time. And if you're a source, he will not tell you who said anything.
I don't know where he got the Spygate tape from. I've been the guy's best friend for 27 years now.
Will not give up his sources. And that's one thing.
He is a vault. So when he says, I got some big news, all the other big news he's had, you think it's going to be huge.
And not saying, diminishing that the guy had coronavirus, but it wasn't the biggest, let's say, sports story we expect from Jay. And we build it up in our heads.
It's more our fault because we all build it up in our heads um all right i had one last question michael so this is a zip recruiter question with a seamless experience from start to finish just like this question zip recruiter takes care of your recruiting right now you can try zip recruiter for free at ziprecruiter.com slash take um so you i you went to a small college hall of fame. If you were playing right now with all the coronavirus and everything that's going on, where do you land with college football trying to have a season? And I would imagine someone like yourself who had to prove it at a small college and then get a chance in the NFL and then take that chance and kick ass through it.
Like you don't get many opportunities if you're missing like your senior year at a small college, where do you land on that? That's tough, man. I just think if they had the right protocols, then of course I would love to play football.
I think that's what it comes down to is how do you protect, how do you protect the safety of the players and, and, and the coaches and everyone else who's associated with the program? Because you've got to remember, these players, they're like, oh, the players are young, they'll get over it. Everybody's affected differently because there have been some young players who haven't gotten over it.
Some young athletes have had heart conditions and other things that they're finding out that the virus can do. So for me, it would be a matter of how do you try to keep it as clean and virus-free as possible.
But it's hard when you're on a college campus. As we see, some of these kids going back to school now having parties.
And the first time you're away from home and you're like, hey, mom and dad can't tell me anything. I'm getting out.
Then you get around people. So it would be very hard-pressed for me not to play,

especially if they could say these are the ways that we're trying to protect you. Yeah.
Okay. Yeah, I feel like that's where a lot of America is right now.
There's still a lot of we don't know. Right.
Like there's so much uncertainty. But then I do hate, though.
I hate when people are like, oh, they just played football, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, yeah, because that's not your kid.
You want to be entertained on a Saturday. You know, that's all you cared about is having college football.
You don't really care about the health of these guys because if you did when a guy blew his knee out you didn't care about it no they just put another one in there you keep moving right so to me it's about really protecting the health of these young players and and even the health of the players in the NFL because you see basketball's working baseball's has some hiccups hockey's working and but you can't put the nfl players in the bubble right i mean that's that would be is absolutely insane right so i will see how to see how it's going to shake out in college we'll see how it's going to shake out in the pros but um i think it's going to be some challenge yeah where do you see it going at the professional level because in my opinion since they're not doing a true bubble it's just it's not if it's when it's a matter of time until like a team has an outbreak like we've seen in baseball then like two teams have an outbreak and then you know then we've got weeks that are shut down the schedule gets all messed up and then the whole thing kind of crumbles at its base like is there any way that you can think of outside of instituting like a mandatory like three city bubble or something to that nature it can't i don't think you can do that too many too many players too many um families too many of all that stuff i think that with the nfl you do have a week between games so i think that that may give you a little leeway if i'm a guy who was on the bubble or i was in a camp i stay in shape and um in some of these games you may see that um the backup center of the backup behind the backup starting. Who knows? But I think the biggest effect will be if it happens when you get a major quarterback or player or a major coach who gets it.
And like Doug Peterson already had it to to see how that affects the team. I think once we see that, that may change some opinions.
I actually have one last thing. I actually, thinking through everything that you've done, Hall of Fame, Super Bowl, America's Sweetheart, tolerates Jay Glazer.
I think your number one legacy might be when dumb football fans like ourselves and every idiot fan sitting at a bar across the country decides that they've figured out how to play defensive football by just saying, just get pressure with the front four. That's you guys.
Like when they do keys to the game, hit Tom Brady. It's like, yeah, that's pretty fucking easy.
What? But that's what they're talking about they're like you just gotta pressure starts up front like you just gotta do you gotta win go win the line of scrimmage the giants did it yeah trust me it's not that easy i love that man you're the first person in my life who's ever said that it is not you get pressing with the front four what they got to do. I've even been accused of saying that myself on Fox.

It's hard.

It's hard to do.

It's four on five, basically. So somebody's

going to have to win a double team. You can't have

any gap for the quarterback to step up.

Your outside guys really got to

come from the outside.

Be tight. It's very coordinated.

Get pressing with four guys.

And you have to have four unselfish guys out there. And to be honest with you nowadays, you have to have a rotation because it's true.
I get tired. You got to have a good rotation with backups who are just as good.
It can start in other places that just happen to be backups because on your team, they're like one and one a, you know? So it was, we found that formula with the giant thing. Good found it a few times but it's it's hard and that's why i think the second highest paid position in football is the defensive end yeah behind quarterback because that's the only guy on the defensive side of the ball who can disrupt the quarterback in so many ways so yeah get pressing with the front yeah and then if you're trying if you're trying to win offensively, you just got to protect the quarterback.
Well, establish the run, too. Right.
Establish the run, get pressure with the front four, and no mistakes on special teams. Yeah.
Boom. And I'll tell you what, man, when you're rolling like we were rolling, oh, there's no better feeling than knowing.
Lining up four guys, you can put six or seven. We're going to whip you.
It doesn't matter. It's got to be good.
And you look at the at the guy across from you and you look him in the eye and you can tell he doesn't want to be there because he's confused because he knows you can run around him you can run underneath him or you can run over him that is the absolute best feeling because you can see the desire of a man and soul leave a guy through his eyeballs i like yeah also just thank you for beating the Patriots that season because the shit that America would have to deal with with 19-0 Patriots fans. Patriots fans in Massachusetts, probably 40% of the population would have 19-0 tattooed somewhere on their face or neck.
Tekashi69, it would be everywhere. So thank you for not making America deal with that.
And we'll finish here. The jersey that's for sale is not correct.
Fugazi. Michael Strahan has the real jersey.
Do not bid on that auction. Someone is screwing with him.
We are here to set the record straight. Michael Strahan, thank you so much, man.
We really appreciate it. All right.
Thank you, man. I appreciate you.
Thank you guys. Hockey is on.
And no matter the city, no matter the team, no matter the game, whether it's face-off or penalty shots, regular season or playoffs, win or lose, no matter what happens no matter where it happens new amsterdam vodka is there okay we now welcome on a very special guest it is david arquette he's got a new documentary coming out August 28th video on demand you cannot kill David Arquette. He's got a new documentary coming out, August 28th, Video On Demand, You Cannot Kill David Arquette.
That's a ballsy title for a documentary given 2020 and everything that's gone on, wouldn't you say? Yeah, it was titled before 2020. It actually is based on a 90s song that a band called The Black Math Experiment wrote about me and sort of my characters and

movies that I never died. And we decided to use it as a title, but little did I know there'd be so many people suffering so hard.
Yeah. Is that true? Have you never died in a movie? I have died several times in movies in Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
I died twice. no so but in the scream movies just in general, it's just like sort of a funny fan song that they made, but we wanted to put it in the film.
It was my wife who produced the film, Christina Arquette. She did an incredible job.
She suggested it, and the directors, David Darg and James Price, were super cool and saw it uh saw how it worked and used it it's funny that you mentioned that because i've i've kind of always wondered about actors when they do die in movies like do you get coached on how to die or is that left up to your interpretation because i know some some people do you know the eyes roll backwards in their head some people stop breathing for a while do you do you actually have to hold breath? You do have to hold your breath, especially if you're playing a dead body, like if you're in a casket or if you're just dead on the floor in a scene. Those are weird because sometimes you can do like a week where you're just dead on the floor.
You're just coming in, getting dressed, laying down and trying to trying to not breathe you know there's a lot of weird stuff that happens in making the movies but you know there's all kinds of different ways to die you know it's all always kind of creepy doing certain kind of research as an actor yeah so the documentary you are making a return to professional wrestling uh you're trying to and you can tell me this wrong right what you what has been wrong or what people have perceived as wrong after you won the wcw title and fans have kind of shit on you for that for the last 20 years what how has that experience been like what if you were on the street will someone come up to you like fairly often be like you shouldn't have won the title like that was bullshit or is it more like online depends like when i used to go to wwe events or something some people would be cool like oh there's a former champion or other people not be so cool it was really sort of got uh amplified with the internet. You know, the internet wasn't as big back then.
So once the internet came alive, I just became the butt of all the jokes. And I just kind of got sick of it and like felt bullied and kind of wanted to stand up for myself and just kind of figure out why people got so upset.
What is it about wrestling that people really love? And, you know, honor wrestling, sort of make a love letter to wrestling with the movie we made. Yeah, you grew up a wrestling fan.
I know that you have Randy Savage and Miss Elizabeth Tattoo. You've got, like, you actually grew up really enjoying this stuff.
So have you put yourself inside the brain of, like, an 11- 11 year old David Arquette and thought, how would I feel if a guy like David Arquette won the title belt when I was watching? Well, that's how I thought it would be perceived more like I was living a fan's dream, like they could see themselves in me. But the fact that I was an actor and the fact that I was a comedic actor, I think people like kind of were like, what? And, you know, since then the size, you know, they used to be just like all monsters, like in their height.
And now with like Daniel Bryan and Seth Rollins and different people, there's different sort of weight classes. And any of them can really be the champion.
It's just a matter of, you know, if the audience typically kind of makes champions in a way, they respond to the people they like, they kind of support them and push them. And then the companies sort of watch what's catching fire.
So since then, the kind of dynamic had changed where there's smaller wrestlers doing a lot of interesting stuff. So I thought, well, I can compete with those guys.
And I learned something in the process too, that aside from just being strong and tall or whatever, you have to be tough and you have to be crazy. And I had both of those things.
And I was like, I can be crazier than any of you motherfuckers. So that's sort of where I came from.
I was like, all right, let's do this. And in the movie, you can see it gets pretty insane.
So I'm a wrestling fan. And going through this, you have to know, you're a diehard wrestling fan as well.
Wrestling fans are irrational and they're very loyal. So has there been a part of you when you're making this, you're trying to right the wrongs.
In the back of your head, do you realize that like half of the people who watch this still won't care? And they'll like fuck david arquette like he still shouldn't have won it yeah no no and i totally respect that i'm fine with that i don't care i almost did it for myself just to stand up for myself so you know everyone's entitled to their own opinions and whatever their takeaways are i i don't really care i just wanted to it for myself. And I really sort of learned a lot in the process and just felt, you know, by the end of it, I was sort of accepted in the locker room as one of the boys.
And, you know, a lot of the people I was wrestling on the same card with have now, like, since that experience, have gone on to be on aew and wwe and you know it's really cool to sort of see that progression yeah i feel like ultimately i was ranked top 500 in 2019 there you go okay you made a list that's always important if you can look back and be like i don't care if it was like top 5 000 of something that me on that list. That's pretty cool.
I feel like you could have gone one of two ways with this. You could have gone the direction that you ended up going, which is like, I want to prove myself to these guys.
I want to show that, you know, they didn't just hand something to me and I want to be respected. Or you could have gone the other way, almost like the Andy Kaufman route and gone like I'm Mr.
Big Shot from Hollywood, California. And, you know, whatever I want to do, I get to do.
Did that thought ever occur to you to just like fully embrace a heel role and be like Mr. Big Shot from LA? Yeah.
Well, after a match that I lost to King Brian, I got so upset that I felt people were patronizing me that I did sort of go a little crazy and started saying I was from Hollywood. This was at Northeast Wrestling in New York.
And then Jerry Lawler came out and set me straight with a nice stiff pile driver, kind of put my head back on straight. So I'm glad that had that happen but andy kaufman was always a an inspiration for me i always loved his love for wrestling and the fact that he embraced it so much and you know there's tons of matches that he did in the memphis area that you know hollywood or or even the wrestling community weren't really aware of he really wrote that storyline and played it out for a long time, wrestled all these girls and all this funny stuff.
So I always got a kick out of that. I think if you want to be accepted in the wrestling community, you just got to talk about all your injuries more.
So what's the gnarliest injury you've had wrestling? Well, I got stabbed in the neck with a light tube okay that's pretty good

my fault that was the gnarliest i thought i was dying it actually hit my neck muscle where i got five stitches in my neck muscle but um it protected me from my jugular getting hit um that was sort of the craziest but the most painful was fracturing three ribs and then still having to wrestle for months on end.

Okay.

Fractured ribs is really so... The most painful was fracturing three ribs and then still having to wrestle for months on end.

Okay.

Fractured ribs is really so painful because you're constantly slamming your body down.

And when you have fractured ribs, it's hard to breathe or sneeze.

It's just everything hurts.

So that was super painful.

And then after the pile driver, my neck muscle has been jacked up ever since there's certain things you have to do to protect yourself and if you're just coming up you kind of learn like you learn not to do something again like i'll never take another pile driver from jerry lawler not that he does it wrong or anything like that The way I took it was wrong. But yeah, so I don't know.
It's crazy. Constantly, I had surgery on my elbow.
My back's still messed up. It's a brutal, brutal sport.
Can we talk about your other love, the Lakers? Oh, yeah. Is LeBron a real Laker? Yeah, of course he's a real sure he is he's not a mercenary hired gun i don't know about that as long as he puts the jersey on and wins the championship that's all we care about so dwight howard's a real laker uh yeah i mean The way I look at it is put the uniform on your

Laker in my book i don't know i'm pretty loose about that stuff though i like i'm like a fair weathered fan i'm not like all hardcore you go to a lot of games right you sit you have seats pretty much courtside or are they courtside they're my buddies okay all right whenever i get the call and I have to ask because there was that famous incident after a playoff game in 2010, I want to say, when you got in like – were you jumped on a fan who was trying to get onto the court? You basically just decided you were a security guard probably because of your wrestling background. What happened there? No, it was a fan who had gotten out of line and he was choking uh one of the security guards nobody was doing anything so i pulled the guy off but then it was probably the worst thing that could happen because that just brought more attention to it yeah it just stayed in my lane i feel like they should have given you season tickets just for that yeah at least made you a security guard right and like some yeah some kind of badge or something they definitely like you know are very nice to me and but i don't think the security guard was a big fan of of me doing that there's a great picture of like i think it's an mma fighter who's just sitting back and he's sitting right there just watching.
So somebody that was actually trained to intervene in a situation like that is taking it easy. Yeah, and he's just sitting back.
He knows not to get involved. I was a knucklehead.
Yeah, there are some funny pictures out there. I'm looking at it right now of you wrestling this guy off of the security guard.
Man of action. I would have said no thanks like i'm just gonna you know leave my seat go try to beat the traffic i'm out of here i want to jump back real quick to uh i think the first time i was introduced to you was the scream movies oh yeah so that was like right in my wheelhouse coming up uh mid 90s you played officer dewey in the scream movies uh i guess my first question is were you scared by the scream mask because that thing as like an 11 or 12 that thing was terrifying so scary yeah i know it was crazy the story is that wes they couldn't find the mask they were looking and they he went into the back of this uh like old costume store and found this mask.
Like, and he's like, what about this one? And, and apparently they had bought it and used it in the movie, but hadn't got the rights to it. So whoever designed that mask owned the rights.
And then until they put like scream on it, it's not a scream mask.

It's only that other guy's mask.

He's a famous mask maker, like Halloween costume mask maker. I feel like a good mask can totally make a horror movie.
Like just that mask alone. It's like iconic.
Everybody recognizes. Oh, yeah.
I love that. I did a horror film called The Tripper, where my killer a a guy who was obsessed with ronald reagan who had attacked hippies at an outdoor music festival holy shit yeah it was based on a like a crazy time i had on a music festival and i was like what if some maniac came out of the woods and just started hacking all these hippies up? So then I sort of did this like political satire in a horror film.
Now, were you under the influence at that point? Or is that just how your brain works? Like this is your brain on David Arquette? Yeah, a little bit of both. I mean, there's always sort of, you know, that those kind of functions, you're pretty loose.

How many screams are going to be made?

I know Scream 5 is in pre-production. If in like 20 years we're on Scream 9, are you like, I'm in?

Just keep running it back?

Absolutely.

I love playing the character.

I love working with Wes and Courtney.

I mean, sorry, Courtney and Nev.

And I'll miss working with Wes. For Wes to on.
Wes's legacy is a big part of this. Just sort of being close to people who are a part of the originals.
You collect puppets? Yeah, I have a bunch of puppets. That's fucking creepy.
I know. This is a monkey who like waves.
But was in the beginning of the Pee Wee's Big Adventure outside of the bike store.

Oh, I love that movie.

Wait, so how many puppets do you have?

Because aren't you ever afraid that you're going to wake up one night and all the puppets will be animated and they'll be alive, ready to kill you?

If you have one puppet in your house, that puppet, it's not an not if it's just a when will it decide to become alive and kill you what are you afraid of puppets yeah i'm afraid of puppets they're fucking creepy man you were just saying that you were at a music festival the happiest place in the world and then you just imagined some dude coming and hacking you up but you oh my god that's the creepiest puppet ever no No, dude. No.
Uh-uh. That puppet is going to kill you.
What the fuck? I'm not. Sorry.
Do you just like look around? Like when you look over your shoulder and you see that fucking creepy ass puppet, you're not like, holy shit, what am I doing here? It's like looking in a mirror. Whoa.
Dude. It's like you live in a fun house.
What the hell? This guy, dude. That's my grandpa.
Oh, my God, dude. Can you do the...
No, I'm sorry. Can you do the thing where you...
I do have a bit of a puppet obsession because we have puppets at Bootsy Bellows. So they go around, they dance, and people take pictures with them, like for Instagram.
Well, I think it's also one of those things that if you get one puppet, you might as well get 100 because you're just a puppet person. You know what I mean? Like a sliding scale.
It's over. Once your first puppet has been purchased and put prominently in your house, that's a wrap.
Yeah. Well, that first one, the real creepy one I showed you, my grandfather made that.
Whoa. We've had puppets in our family for a long time puppets in your blood okay do you do the ventriloquist thing can you throw your voice or do you just have him around and just look at him my whole thing is i do it really badly like that's my i just like like we can see your mouth moving jesus christ i'm i'm like upset at myself for even asking that question.
What else? Do you collect anything else weird? No. I mean, I collect just a bunch of stuff like these salt shakers.
Okay. Hey, this is old salty and cat and pepper.
Okay. Okay.
Just stupid. That's kind of.
It should be Sergeant Pepper. I mean, if we're going to be.
That's also puppet adjacent. So I would categorize that as still under the puppet fetish.
It's a small puppet. Yeah, right.
Sorry you have such a puppet thing. Are you scared of clowns too? Yeah, I saw it as a kid.
Oh my gosh, yeah. That's a problem.
Yes, yes. Have you ever thought about that? Like going back to Scream.
I mean, I remember when did the first Scream come out? Like 90? out like 90 95 or something yeah so i was like 10 years old i remember watching it being scared to death of like oh every time my parents leave the house i'm gonna get a call on the phone and someone's gonna slash me up do you ever think about like a generation of kids that watch that movie way too early and forever like scarred by the scream mask yeah yeah i know you have to be careful like when you watch those or if you watch them alone or something like that yeah it's a a lot of people seem way too early i mean yeah you shouldn't watch them so early but you know maybe that's your next documentary making the the right that is the wrong of likearing all these kids. I think that you actually scared my entire generation off of answering phone calls.
Yes. We all hate talking on the phone.
We'd much prefer that you text us instead. I think that goes back to watching screen and be like, if I pick up my house phone, someone's going to come kill me.
Man, I'm sorry about that, guys. I have no idea.
Yeah. All right.
So David Arquette, You Cann you cannot kill david arquette is coming out video on demand august 28th new documentary um also new film uh the thriller spree in theaters on digital and on demand august 14th 2020 i had one last question it's a me undies question go to meundies.com slash pmt to get 15 off first purchase. You got kicked out of Justin Bieber's 21st birthday party? Oh, yeah.
What's the story there? Oh, just a bad, bad situation. It was my fault.
I was just out of line. I don't know.
I wasn't supposed to be at his party. I was going to a friend's party that was in the same hotel.
And I'd just been on the elevator with all these people. And then I'd come out and we have to go into this place.
And it was his party. So, you know, it was a whole thing.
Hey, the Spree movie is insane. And it comes out Friday and it's so nuts.

It's about influencers. And it's this guy who's got a, he works for this rideshare company called Spree.
And he's trying to get followers. And it takes a really dark turn.
It's a really trippy thing. There's this Instagram, KurtzWorld96, where you could sort of look up this character.

It's the kid Joe Keery who's in Stranger Things.

And just amazing director.

It's a really intense film.

Now you're going to ruin taking ride shares for people.

Now my generation.

And Stranger Things.

By the way.

We can't call a cab because we're afraid of phones.

By the way, we're totally going to ruin taking rideres. Oh, fuck.
Damn it. Have fun.
All right. Yeah.
Sorry. I'm like ruining everything for you.
That's okay. That's okay.
But you're redeeming yourself with wrestling. Yes.
Thank you. Yeah.
Yeah. All right.
Well, David, this has been awesome. We really appreciate it, man.
And next time you're in New York City, come on by and check us out.

I sure will.

A shout out to Jerry Kubik, my homeboy who's a cop up there in Connecticut.

He's a big fan.

Oh, nice.

There you go.

Nice.

Thank you, guys.

Love it.

What's up, Jerry?

That interview with David Arcutt was brought to you by MeUndies.

MeUndies wants to talk about your underwear.

Like, seriously, they have a lot of feelings about it,

and they want to chat with anyone who's going to listen.

So here goes.

My advice is to take a look at the with David Arquette was brought to you by MeUndies. MeUndies wants to talk about your underwear.
Like seriously, they have a lot of feelings about it and they want to chat with anyone who's going to listen. So here goes.
MeUndies just wants everyone to feel comfy as heck with the freedom to express themselves. That's why they make the world's softest undies in classic colors and fun prints like dinos and surfboards.
I'm actually, I'm wearing MeUndies right now. Are you guys wearing MeUndies? Same.
I am wearing the wine and cheese MeUndies, and they're super soft.

I feel very comfortable.

I've been wearing these underwear since about 9 o'clock this morning.

What are you wearing, Hank?

What are you wearing, Hank?

Don't be so shy.

You're not wearing underwear.

I kind of shit my pants earlier.

Oh.

So I'm currently not wearing them. I was wearing them earlier.
Nice. All right.
But that's okay. But that's okay because you got more at home.
Yes, I have a million pairs. They're the best.
That's good. We've gone far too long on this podcast without shitting ourselves.
It's been at least three weeks. Good job, Hank.
I'm proud of you. Good job, Hank.
Yeah, no judgment here. But if you want to get a new pair of MeUndies, Hank, you can get one, and they're going to hook you up with a sweet deal.
They should just make pre-made undies that come with a skid mark where the butt crack is. So that way, plausible deniability.
You don't have to be worried. You don't have to worry about the people at the laundromat judging you when they wash your clothes.
Just it's a free idea for MeUndies. Take it or leave it.
You know that. We love you.
We're all wearing your product right now. MeUndies are the softest underwear that I've ever worn in my life.
They're serious about softness. They're so serious, they scoured the world for the softest fabric known to man.
It comes from beechwood trees, and somehow, magically, they turn from pulp to yarn to underwear. They feel like heaven on your skin for comfort from the outside to the inside.
So keep your underwear drawer stocked with MeUndies membership, a subscription that sends new pairs right to your door. Plus, get site-wide savings and exclusive sales.
I'm telling you, it's awesome having an underwear drawer that's filled with MeUndies. You never have to worry about putting on that one pair of underwear you've held onto for a little bit too long.
You know the pair I'm talking about, the pair that you dread putting on. Get rid of that altogether.
Stock up on MeUndies. They're going to give you 15% off and free shipping.
15% off, free shipping, and they have 100% satisfaction guarantee. All you have to do, go to MeUndies.com slash take.
That's MeUndies.com slash take. Okay, let's wrap up the show.
We got guys on chicks. Billy's List.
Do we want to do Billy's List? Yeah. Let's check through it.
See if there's anything good here. We actually hit all of it.
Yeah. We pretty much hit all of it.
So we're good. Nailed the list.
Let's see. Yeah, nailed all this.
Mitch is bad. Men should limit alcohol to one drink a day, federal committee says.
Okay, government. Yeah.
The guy I have been into recently just moved for a job to Las Vegas. How likely is it that guys partake in sex with hookers in Vegas? Should I be expecting this to happen like some kind of Vegas initiation and everyone does it? Or do most guys not actually do this as much as I think? And do you have any of your own personal experiences with Vegas hookers? Thank you.
Love you guys. Yeah, definitely.
Like once you enter into Vegas, in the airport there's a brothel everyone stops in they play that one slot machine at the gate when they get off and then they go slide it in real quick and then boom they're in vegas yeah i'm sure i'm sure with this job too there's like some type of like employee discount or like one of those like benefits it's a perk yeah you know how when you land in in hawaii they automatically put the lay on you it's like that in vegas except it's a vagina. If this girl is writing in and she's been...
Like, your boyfriend... Also, who moves to Vegas at this time? That's true, but your boy...
Like, guys are either hooker guys or they're not. And if you don't know, he probably is.
Although... Like, if you can't definitively say, yeah, my boyfriend wouldn't get a hooker in Vegas when he goes there for a weekend.
He's moving there. Moving there.
Probably for the hookers. Maybe he's a hooker.
For a job. That's why he's moving there.
He's a pimp. So he's got to move to Vegas for it.
But yeah, if you were asking yourselves, would my boyfriend do something like this? He probably would. there's nothing more electric though than going on a trip with somebody and then finding out that one of your friends is a surprise hooker guy then that's that's the talk of the trip for the entire like even after the trip's over you're like hey can you believe craig big hooker guy got three the first night to the second night he's broke ask yourself this if he if he like when you guys met was he he forward with you? Was he, like, talkative and picked you up? Or did you have to do the work? Because if you had to do the work, he's probably a hooker guy.
Yeah. He's probably got no tea, and he's lazy, and he's just like, I'm just going to pay for this.
Does he leave money on the nightstand? Mm-hmm. Yes.
Does he take showers all day? Why is my boyfriend's number one best friend on Snapchat his ex-girlfriend? Why is my... He's getting news.
I don't know how any of that stuff works. Is Snapchat still, like, doing it? I think Snapchat has converted full-time to a photo editing service.
People just use Snapchat to, like, make a Photoshop and take the screenshot. But Snapchat, I feel like, was the thing.
and now TikTok has just washed them. Although, now Instagram has focused their attention totally on TikTok.
They forgot about Snapchat. Now, what Snapchat should do...
Yeah, Instagram washed Snapchat. Yes.
Instagram should... Or Snapchat should now start to copy Instagram and make their own TikTok.
What do you... Billy, as our 21-year-old, do you snap? You know what? A lot of people who I'm friends with use Snapchat as their own tiktok what do you billy as our 21 year old i do you snap you know what a lot of like people who i'm friends with use snapchat as their only messaging service really yeah see i was i was gonna kind of uh be proud of myself because i like withstood snapchat like everyone was like you gotta get snapchat i guess and i was like no and i was like i beat it there you go it's but i might not have it's like waiting when the time changes for an entire five months until it switches back i'm doing this wrong now they're right again i'm doing the same with tiktok i probably will be wrong on that one but i'm trying what what kind of a feature is that though where it allows other people to see who your best friends are and who you're secretly sending messages that will self destruct to i think he's just's just looking at the Snapchat, right? Yeah, you got to go into their account.
It used to be public and that used to cause a lot of issues. Yeah.
Because you might be Snapchatting someone for like one night and then the next day your best friends and then you got to hear about it. Ah, got it.
Hey boys, ever since you guys started playing Dungeons and Dragons, my boyfriend has been obsessed and asked me every day to go play with him.

It sounds kind of nerdy.

Should I play with him?

Yeah, just get dressed up like a dragon.

Yes.

He probably wants to fuck a dragon.

Absolutely play with it.

Cannot recommend it enough.

All right, I think this person is just trying to fuck with me, but there's a lot of medical terms, so bear with me.

Uh-oh.

Dear wise ones.

Should I take off my pants?

I'm a medical assistant in a urology office and regularly have to see other men's penises. Parentheses.
I place catheters. Yep.
Yeah. Catheters.
Catheter like fetterer, but cath. Catheters.
Female fetterer. Catheters.
Catheter. Catheters.
Catheters. Place catheters and assist with cystoscopies and vasectomies.
Cysoscopies. Spell that out.
C-Y-S-T-O-S-C-O-P-I-E-S. Cystoscopies? Cystoscopies.
Cystoscopies. Yeah.
There's no M though. And vasectomies.
The guy I'm seeing doesn't seem to mind, mostly because he has no idea that I have to touch penises on a daily basis. I haven't met any of his friends in person, but he constantly mentions his best friend and has shown me pictures of him because I asked.
One day, his best friend showed up to the office and needed a catheter placed. Because he hasn't seen or met yet he had no idea who i was unsure of what to do i just quickly did what i've done a million times and moved on i touched his penis do i tell the guy i'm seeing or do i try and pretend like i've never seen him before i think you have to keep that one you have to keep that one quiet because his best friend probably doesn't want all his friends to know that he gets catheterers.

Well, usually the person's unconscious when that happens, right?

To get a catheter?

Yeah.

No.

I don't think anyone's conscious.

What is it, Jay? They stick a straw up your dick.

It's like when you can't pee, they put a little tube up there.

And then, I mean, I've watched daytime television. It's all geared towards old people.
And they're like, are you sick of reusing your catheters? All right. Well, then try this one.
So, yeah, it's a tube that basically just siphons urine out of your bladder. The Blackhawks are going to lose.
I'm sorry. That's all right.
Youngest team in the playoffs. I'm sorry, Big Cat.
That's okay. 4-3.
No, it's not over. A cat needs an oil change.
Hey, Laker Dan, PFT, and Finger Frog Billy. I'm a redhead, and my boyfriend keeps referring to my boobs as ginger biscuits and slapping them.
He does this in front of friends and even some family. I've asked him nicely to stop, and he doesn't listen.
How can I retaliate? Start calling him the gingerbread man.

I think he'll probably like that and then he'll be like, can I get

some milk? Yes.

He'll really set him up, Billy. I haven't thought about that one.

I don't think that you can.

I think that this guy... You need a nickname for his balls

and just start whacking those things.

Whacking them around. Red balls.

Well, he's not a ginger.

Yeah.

Just hit him in the nuts. That solves everything.

Love you guys.

Wait, we have one more.

I'll see you next time. Well, he's not a ginger.
Yeah. Yeah.
Just hit him in the nuts. That solves everything.

Love you guys.

Wait, we have one more.

We have a few more.

I retract that.

Love you guys.

No, I mean, if you got somewhere to go.

Go to the last one.

Damn, there's a couple good ones.

All right, do a couple more.

PFT jumped the gun.

We'll do a couple more. Are you guys still anti-washing your apples and needing an update with the pandemic and all? Thanks.
Yes. Yep.
It builds up your immune system. I've never heard of an apple having coronavirus.
Yeah, if you have... Definitely, Ben.
Definitely. If you haven't...
I heard chicken wings can get coronavirus. Really? I haven't heard of an apple.
Apple a day keeps a doctor away. That used to be the saying.
Yep. From a bunch of people that didn't have teeth.
But yeah. The red apple is the red quarterback jersey.
All right. Last one.
Hi, my name is Allie, but everyone calls me AI. Was wondering if I should be worried my boyfriend always wants to piss on me when he's drunk.
That was the other thing. That same chick that blew all the suns was like, yeah, Trey Songz pissed on me.
Well, she was like, yeah. She started pissing me.
I i wasn't expecting it and the other girl was like say who was trey songs yeah it was zero pressure she's just like the forest gump of penises she's connected to like all the famous genitalia in the west and you know like guys are gonna still be like oh nice like hit her up and then she's gonna probably say more stuff about guys they'll be like how could you say that no we know now pe we know now. I like this girl.
We should get her on the podcast. We should give her a podcast on Barstool.
Yeah, that's true. That girl needs a catheter for her boyfriend.
Oh, good call, Billy. We need to use it in a sentence.
Siphon out the pee before he can piss on you. Nice.
Is that it? That's it. Caller Blatty.
A podcast strictly about taking

leaks on people. Perfect.

Billy. Well, first of all, I love you guys.

I retract retracting it earlier.

So that's a double of you guys. Billy, final thoughts.

Your face every time.

Just nothing.

I thought we canceled this.

What made you think that?

I don't know.

I thought we canceled this. It's truly remarkable

how little we ask you to do

I don't know. I thought we canceled this.
It's truly remarkable how little we ask you to do and how little you actually do towards

those goals.

I don't think anyone likes these anymore.

Well, actually, they found a 19,000-year-old woolly mammoth in the permafrost according to CNN.

And they are trying to use it to clone

Wooly Rhinos. I'm going to find you Shining away Are you going to be okay? Take on me Take on me Take me on Take on me I'll be there Get a dance to life Let's go.
Take me. There's no better than saying sorry.

Take on me.

Take on me.

Take me.

Take on me.

I'll be right.

I'm high, bitch. That's the part where you dance.
You like that? I love it. What do we have next? It's verse three 3 let's bring it back in

yes

yes

yes

yes

ladies and gentlemen

Nipu Yai

he's only here for one night