Michael Strahan, David Arquette, And The Lakers Are Dead (After 1 Game)

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Speaker 3 On today's part in my take, we have Michael Strahan and David R. Kett, twofer.
We also have the start of the NBA playoffs. Both one seeds lost today.

Speaker 3 Damn.

Speaker 3 The playoffs are off and running. We had all favorites on Monday and then huge upsets on Tuesday.
We have some baseball unwritten rules. Guys on chicks packed Wednesday show.

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Speaker 3 Now in the streets, there is violence.

Speaker 3 And then I love the song of perfume.

Speaker 3 no place behind a low washing

Speaker 3 and then I can't blame all on the sun oh no we gonna rock down to Electric Avenue

Speaker 3 and then we'll take it higher

Speaker 3 Oh we gonna rock down to Electric Avenue

Speaker 3 Welcome to part of my take joined by the cash app go download it right now use code bars take it $10 for free $10 to the ASPCA.

Speaker 3 Today is Wednesday, August 19th.

Speaker 3 And the Lakers are dead. Laker Dan is down.
Well, no, I'd say Laker Dan actually worked his match. Yeah, no, he actually worked it perfectly.
What are you doing, Hank?

Speaker 6 I was trying to make like a bong sound. Blaze up.

Speaker 3 Blaze up. That's right.
There you go.

Speaker 3 Me, Hank, and Charles Barkley are high on the Blazers right now. And, I mean, they're a fun team to watch.
Why do you hate fun, big cat?

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 3 You want to rehash on monday i don't hate fun whatsoever damian lillard is so much fun to watch what i've said from the start is uh the blazers aren't going to win this series and they're not going to win this series that is the worst shooting team i've ever seen though the lakers can you guys

Speaker 3 the lakers are i don't even know if they practice shooting they're so fucking bad at

Speaker 3 bad and lebron was doing this thing that he does every now and again where he could take the ball to the hole anytime that he wanted and he was just settling for a lot of really bad threes he's like scared of his own power style.

Speaker 3 It wasn't even on LeBron, though, because they just, everyone shot bad. They've shot 15% from three, which is like an insanely low number for an NBA team.
Danny Green, you stink.

Speaker 3 I don't know. Everyone stinks.
Dwayne Howard looks weird.

Speaker 6 LeBron just passes it to AD

Speaker 6 and the clutch at the end of the games. Doesn't want anymore.
Truly is the Wash King.

Speaker 3 Yeah, their offense is broken. It was funny, but before we sat down and taped this, Hank was talking about how

Speaker 3 he's rooting so hard against LeBron. He roots harder against LeBron than he does for the teams that he likes.
And Big Cat was like, you're going to burn yourself out early.

Speaker 3 I think there is some truth that. No, they're not going to.

Speaker 3 We're going to need full Hank hate in the tank for the next series and the series after that if they can somehow survive the gentleman sweep coming their way from the Blazers.

Speaker 3 I am, I am, I do want the Lakers to lose very badly,

Speaker 3 but I just don't think they're going to lose this series. How about I just don't?

Speaker 3 So I'm not going to get my hopes up for this series, for LeBron to lose this series, because I just don't believe that's going to happen. Carmelo no respect for the bubble MVP.

Speaker 3 I do have no respect. You don't think it matters.

Speaker 6 You don't think it matters.

Speaker 3 Great respect for the bubble MVP. I think Damian Lillard is so much fucking fun to watch.
I just, I'm not going to get my hopes up for a series that I don't think the Blazers are going to win.

Speaker 3 And I don't know if you guys have noticed this, but you know that theory where if you buy a red car, all of a sudden you notice all the red cars that there are on the road and you're like, wow, everyone's got one of these.

Speaker 3 Every time CJ gets the ball, he goes tween, tween, big cross, big cross, step back to freedom, blast their face off. Yes, he does.
It's his thing. It's his signature move.
It's like his crab dribble.

Speaker 3 So I,

Speaker 3 like, the Lakers, they're not going to win the title. I can guarantee you that.
Oh, yeah. Oh, guarantee.

Speaker 3 I watched them tonight and I was like, this team is broken.

Speaker 3 I do still think they're going to win this series. And maybe I'm wrong.
If they don't win this series, then LeBron is done. No, I'll go with that.
Because that's kind of what it is.

Speaker 3 Like, it's either LeBron and AD

Speaker 3 still have their powers, or if they don't, then guess what? They're done.

Speaker 6 I mean, AD's still young. Yeah.

Speaker 3 He's fine. But he also, I don't know.
He's being held down by LeBron. He's being held down by LeBron.

Speaker 3 But yeah, I mean, he did have a triple-double tonight, but I still think LeBron's that kind of guy where you just expect him to just be like, all right, now we're going to win.

Speaker 3 Is AD afraid to be the alpha with LeBron around him? That's the question that people are asking right now. Also,

Speaker 3 LeBron's so fucking bad at free throws. It's crazy, man.
No clutch shit. It's crazy.

Speaker 6 Did you see those disgusting Toon Squad jerseys? Yeah, okay.

Speaker 3 All right, right, this is unpopular opinion alert. I like the shorts part.
If it was just the shorts part of the jersey, I'm all in. But combined with the top, no thank you.
Hard pass. Yeah, I think.

Speaker 3 It looked like they were used to wipe up cocaine on a little set of Miami vice. LeBron just was like, he was, he was, he was like pimping it too much, the jersey, on his walkout.
I didn't like it.

Speaker 3 I didn't like it. Kicking over to the east, I actually do think that the Bucks stink.
I think

Speaker 3 the Magic earned their pins. Hank, I want to give you credit

Speaker 3 for saying being the first to be the Buck Stink guy. Thank you.
That was your call.

Speaker 3 You were right on that. Maybe not right on the Nets, but that's okay.
They almost came back. They got it within 10.

Speaker 3 I had my eye on them. They didn't look bad.
If they looked any better, KD would be like, hey, maybe I'll play for this team next year. Yeah.

Speaker 6 If Gordon Hayward did get injured yesterday, I'd be in basketball Nirvana. Everything is going to be a lot of fun.

Speaker 3 Because

Speaker 3 everything's wide open. Yes.

Speaker 6 But Hayward getting injured hurts a lot.

Speaker 3 It's been a bad couple days for guys.

Speaker 3 Dies with guys with sprained ankles around Hank. Yeah.

Speaker 3 I think the Clippers are still the best team. But I think the Clippers are still the best team.
Who is David Stern rooting for in the finals? Who does he want to see for the ratings? Probably.

Speaker 3 Giannis versus LeBron. Yeah.
Giannis?

Speaker 3 Giannis versus LeBron would probably be the ratings bonanza. But even still, I don't.
Or maybe, no, it'd be Lakers Celtics. That would probably be it.
But yeah, it was a good first two days.

Speaker 3 I mean, basketball all day is the best.

Speaker 3 The only other game I mean, I watched every second of every game because it was so awesome.

Speaker 3 The Porzingis technical foul was bullshit. That game, and Luca is incredible.
Luca is so fucking good.

Speaker 3 And I love whenever an announcer starts talking about a guy's hips and they talk about Luca's hips like all game long. Yeah, Mark Jackson sounded like he was going to bust the heart.

Speaker 3 It's just so nice. Just paint the side of his leg white.
I thought that the Clippers actually looked like... dog shit on defense.

Speaker 3 They're supposed to be the team that can shut down any high-scoring team out there. They're the team that has the best perimeter.
They've got playoff P.

Speaker 3 They've got Pat Beverly. And they were not able to do anything against the Mavericks.

Speaker 3 Well, they won. Yeah, but I'm saying, like,

Speaker 3 the Mavericks played really well. Yeah, the Mavericks were offense insane.
The Mavericks, Luca is incredible. I don't think anyone can stop Luca.
Like, I don't think that's a.

Speaker 3 I just don't think there's anyone who can stop Luca. That's how good he is.
I just think

Speaker 3 the first round,

Speaker 3 teams are getting themselves.

Speaker 3 I mean, the Clippers have barely played together as a team, but I still think when the chips are down, like Kawhi's the type of guy, I just don't care how he looks right now.

Speaker 3 It's like once they get to the end of series, like in the Western Conference Finals, that's all I care. And tip for the youngsters out there, follow your shot.
Kawhi was following his shot.

Speaker 3 He always ordered, and he was getting all those rebounds. He's Mr.
Fundamental.

Speaker 6 Did you guys also see the most relatable clip of all time of him walking in the arena? Yes. He had like an iPad out

Speaker 6 and he just looked down at his screen, but you could see on the camera that there was nothing pulled up. But he looked down when he was walking past everyone, so no one said anything to him.
Right.

Speaker 6 He was plugging.

Speaker 3 It was just the homes. He was charging.

Speaker 3 It was just the home screen. Kawhi probably just walks around looking at an iPad, and he's just like, this is amazing technology.
Just like fascinated by the screensaver on it.

Speaker 3 But yeah, good first two days. I mean, this is, like I said, it's fucking awesome to have sports on all day long.

Speaker 3 So what else? Any other takeaways from the first two days? I mean, Hank, so Gordon Hayward gets hurt.

Speaker 3 I mean, the Sellers are going to win that series, right? Yeah. Even without Gordon Hayward? They're good?

Speaker 6 They'll win the series without Gordon Hayward. I don't know about going forward.
I mean, he might be back for the Eastern Coffee Finals.

Speaker 3 Your speed, his team,

Speaker 3 might. PFD, your heat might be the team in the East now.
The Heat. Wide open Heat.
Tyler Hero, baby.

Speaker 3 Now, are you going to be conflicted, though, if the Heat goes on, you'll have to admit that Jimmy Butler

Speaker 3 is really conflicted about this. But Jimmy Butler's selling $20 cups of coffee to everybody.
He's making money. Jay Butt.
Yeah, listen, the bag doesn't sleep.

Speaker 3 Jay Butt is making the most out of his time down there in Florida.

Speaker 3 But yeah, he's, listen, I am going to be very conflicted, but I think with this heat, it's not about so much Jay Butt as it is their top 20 team. Top 20 team.
They're a top 20 team. He's not

Speaker 3 top 20 guy. Yes.

Speaker 3 I think that if the Lakers do lose to the Blazers or like LeBron gets hurt, I actually think a Laker fan might try to kill me. Yeah, that's possible.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Like that might actually.
You have to go fight somebody into Mecula.

Speaker 3 people just need to have my back all you all the lakers haters all lebron haters like hank you need to start having my back more laker dan because we know what happens with laker dan i can't support that why

Speaker 6 because we know what happens oh

Speaker 3 okay yeah that okay yes i agree on that i'll be your bodyguard

Speaker 3 all right billy you're my bodyguard billy you know so there's that picture that big cat post where it's him as the laker fan with the o'brien trophy on his head yeah you remember the laker bros those guys that's a meme that kind of went away.

Speaker 3 It's like two Billy footballs. Yes.
And just high-fiving each other, putting on sunglasses, just saying, bro, that is you, Billy. You look awesome when you do that, Billy.
Belly Laker.

Speaker 3 I'll go get a yellow security shirt. It'll be sick.
That would be sick.

Speaker 3 All right, so then we have hockey playoffs. The caps are still alive.
Still alive, baby. Still alive.
Todd Reardon got a brain transplant after the first period.

Speaker 3 The fight is really what turned it around. There's a lot of scrappiness out there.
And all it takes sometimes. Somebody alerted me to this, and this is another good Tom Wilson excuse.

Speaker 3 People are saying that Tom Wilson pushed a guy into the boards, when in reality, he was trying to prevent the guy from skating headfirst into the boards.

Speaker 3 Probably saved his life, but they were saying that the boards in Toronto are livelier than they are at any other hockey race. They bounce to him.
So they got bad bounce to the boards.

Speaker 3 So Tom Wilson, actually, if he boards somebody in Toronto, it's actually not that bad. Okay.
It's like pushing him into a trampoline.

Speaker 3 Do you ever think, like, at some point, the amount of excuses that Caps fans have to make for Tom Wilson's, like, we just spend all of our energy just making excuses for Tom Wilson.

Speaker 3 Maybe for some Caps fans, but not for me, because I'm so used to making excuses about everything that I get right now. It's like

Speaker 3 a lot of energy spent on that. Have you noticed that? I think you could mine all the Bitcoin in the world if we just took all the energy Caps fans use for Tom Wilson denial.
Yeah, dirt coin.

Speaker 3 That's what this one is. So there's something about watching sports, though, and having like a take that you're willing to defend to the ends of the earth that makes watching sports more fun.

Speaker 3 Like with you and Mellow, every single time that Mellow,

Speaker 3 every time he missed a shot, Big Kit was like, yes. And every time Tom Wilson gets away with doing something borderline dirty, I'm like, yes.
And it's just I did not say yes. I laugh when Mello

Speaker 3 does. Mellow does a fucking crossover and then bricks a shot.
Yeah, you chortle. But I laugh.
But what I'm saying is, like, it's fun to just watch sports and root for your takes. Yeah, of course.

Speaker 3 Above all else. Of course.

Speaker 3 Of course. I mean, if the Lakers lose this series,

Speaker 3 I'll be like, fuck. Well,

Speaker 3 I've now stuck myself because I do think they're going to win this series, but if they lose this series, I will ultimately be happy because I don't like the Lakers and I want LeBron to lose and be like, ha ha, first round exit, but I also would be wrong.

Speaker 3 I really want the Lakers to just lose in the next round. Yeah.
That would be the perfect spot. And we are watching the Blackhawks and the Golden Knights right now.
It's 3-3.

Speaker 3 I'm just going to assume they win.

Speaker 3 I'm going to assume they win. I love the Blackhawks goalie pads.
Yeah. They're awesome.
They're like fighting.

Speaker 3 Listen, youngest team in the playoffs. There you go.

Speaker 3 You can always fall back on that if your team loses. You're like, youngest team in the playoffs.
It's 3-1 right now, right?

Speaker 3 It just takes out the fact that their best players are the oldest players in the team, but the youngest team in the playoffs.

Speaker 3 How sick would that be if both the Blackhawks and the Capitals came back from 3-0 in advanced? Would it be unbelievable?

Speaker 3 You might actually say it's bad sportsmanship for their opponents to be swinging away when they're up on a 3-0 count.

Speaker 3 Yes, so we should talk about that on a hot seat cooldown. Hot seat cool throne.
We're going to talk about that on a hot seat cool throne. Anything else we have

Speaker 3 about the playoffs? Oh, Hard Knocks. Hard Knocks.

Speaker 3 Hard Knox is a bummer. Hard Knox is a bummer.
The only thing I took away from Hard Knocks tonight was

Speaker 3 Seth Ryan, Rex Ryan's son, is skinny as he's like a beanstalk. That sucks.
He's like the Deuce Gruden of the Ryan family, the most in shape of all the family.

Speaker 3 Yeah, but no, but see, even Deuce, like John, John has muscle. He's just an old guy.

Speaker 3 Seth Ryan is like the opposite. He's like an old

Speaker 3 underbody. Yeah.
He's not, I just, I don't know. It kind of bummed me out.
But they did a lot of. Tonight you could tell Hard Knocks is

Speaker 3 really struggling this season. And I'll give him a pass because it's very tough probably to do.
But they had like six different flashbacks to previous hard knocks. So like Seth Ryan, you remember him.

Speaker 3 Hard Knocks 2010. Andrew Whitworth, you remember him.
Hard Knocks

Speaker 3 2009. And they just kept on doing those.
I did like that we got our first hard knocks spiral of the season. The Herbert pass.
Yep. That was a sexy slow-mo spiral right there.

Speaker 6 That was sexy.

Speaker 6 And the McVay music. That was great.

Speaker 6 I got the blood pumping for like a minute. Yeah.
Solid minute.

Speaker 3 McVay started doing the Monday Night Football theme song, and it was fucking electric. And they dubbed it in with him doing it, and it was like, ooh, football's coming back.

Speaker 3 And then we also saw Jared Goff hitting hole in ones because he's just like an incredible athlete. I'd forgotten he was left-handed.
Yeah. That's a big mind function.
Yeah, we've been to that house.

Speaker 3 We chipped on that golf green. We almost broke a window on the shit.
I think I fucking scolded one

Speaker 3 into the neighbor's yard. Yeah, I was thinking back to that because people were like, whoa, you went to Jared Goff's house.

Speaker 3 As we were watching the Caps games, we had hard knocks on on Game of Thrones. That's right.

Speaker 3 So we watched Game of Thrones at Jared Goff's house, and I just remembered I went into his bathroom, and he's so rich that he doesn't even have locks on his doors. Yeah.
That's when you've reached it.

Speaker 3 When you're like, fuck it. You know what? If somebody walks in on me shitting, I've got $60 million.
I don't care. And you know what? It's probably good for them.
Yeah. They get a show.

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Speaker 3 And it was saying, like, Joe, maybe opt out.

Speaker 3 He was quick, though.

Speaker 3 He was running faster than them. I mean, he's not in the hot seat, just the offensive.
Yeah, if a tiger's chasing you, you don't have to outrun the tiger. You just have to outrun the guy next to you.

Speaker 3 That's what they say. Yeah.
My cool throne is the Monster.

Speaker 3 Because as Hank commented on the video. Oh, we already mentioned that.
LeBron James. How did you get a hot seat cool throne taken when you already went first?

Speaker 3 Because we already discussed it.

Speaker 3 So I'm starting to think, because Billy said

Speaker 3 I always get screwed because I go last in hot seat, cool thrown. Now I'm realizing, I think that's just a built-in excuse that you don't actually come with me.
Billy's hot seat is always me. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Because I'm going last.

Speaker 3 She's hot seat, cool throne. He doesn't have any cool thrown

Speaker 3 banana boats. Oh.
Because Mel versus LeBron. There you go.
Okay. And we're back.
Yes. Nice job.
Cool thrown me. All right.

Speaker 3 Hey, go ahead. Cool turn, Jake.

Speaker 6 My hot seat is the Suns.

Speaker 3 Yes.

Speaker 3 This is so good. You're probably thinking, you know, everyone's talking about the Suns today.

Speaker 6 They were trending on Twitter. Everyone's talking about the Suns, the Suns, the Suns.
You're probably thinking maybe it's because, you know, they went 8-0. They're not in the playoffs.

Speaker 6 People are mad about that. It's not because of that.

Speaker 6 There was a clip on a No Jumper podcast of an Instagram model talking about how she sucked off seven guys on one NBA team in the same room at one time.

Speaker 3 Atlantis Morset?

Speaker 6 No, I don't know what that reference is.

Speaker 6 And then it came out that it was the Phoenix Suns. So everyone was just talking about how the Suns all got sucked off in the same room.

Speaker 3 Wow. Cool throwing Devin Booker.
He was first. Well, he's naturally.

Speaker 3 Yes.

Speaker 3 He's ball dominant. I don't know about that.
Allegedly first. Yes, allegedly first.
But this definitely.

Speaker 3 I mean, they went 8-0.

Speaker 3 Right. So,

Speaker 3 is this going to be a trend? Yeah.

Speaker 3 I mean, Tom Brady's drinking fucking fake, you know, like cabbage juice from Alex Guerrero. It's just if a team gets sucked off and goes 8-0, that might work.
That might be the new Team TV 12.

Speaker 3 I'm hoping that this was after the bubble because then that could be our gone fishing instead of like Photoshopping a team like

Speaker 3 Photoshop was like

Speaker 3 lined up.

Speaker 6 She was telling, she was recollecting a story of it.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it sounded like it didn't happen in the bubble.

Speaker 6 Yeah, no, definitely not in the bubble.

Speaker 6 I was just laughing thinking about, you know, like like the Phoenix Suns, like, front office, and like, the people who run their PR being like, oh, you know, we went 8-0 in the bubble.

Speaker 6 Like, could not have gone to the bubble and done any better. Like, we killed it.
Devin Booker came in second, MVP, like, all this stuff. And it's like, oh, the Suns are trending.
Why are we trending?

Speaker 6 And then they watch the clip and they're like, oh, my God. Oh, geez.

Speaker 3 Are you buying this, Hank? Yeah, 100%. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 6 Yeah. 100%.
I am too.

Speaker 3 Just because I want it so very badly to be true.

Speaker 3 Everyone started retweeting the all-aboard the pain train tweet that the Suns had a few weeks ago and like Sun's train started trending.

Speaker 3 I mean, God bless that girl. No, she was.
Her job must be exhausted. I'm surprised.

Speaker 3 It was her birthday. Yeah, she was like a present.
And then they were like, Were you like, is it bad? She's like, No, I was lit. She was like, cool with it.
It was awesome.

Speaker 3 I'm shocked she could talk on a podcast after that. It was, she, you know, put her in traction like Kanye.

Speaker 3 Shout out that lady.

Speaker 3 Very fine lady.

Speaker 3 She ever wants to find out the height of the part of my take and see how we're sigh we can take this podcast we're six podcasts there's only six of us yeah just light work and i'm gonna last

Speaker 3 30 seconds right so

Speaker 3 hot whatever six man

Speaker 3 yeah billy that would be you definitely would be six actually we

Speaker 3 i would actually see i would be like if she would be down like maybe just jerk off billy and jake at the same time just go and skipper and then we could finally see who the real alpha is yeah

Speaker 6 And then my cool throwing, talking about going skiing, talking about, you know, part of my take podcast as a team is you guys, people, AWL has been able to bet on Big Cat and PFT and Jenga today, 2 o'clock.

Speaker 6 You can bet on them.

Speaker 3 We're playing at 2.

Speaker 6 You guys are, it starts at 2. We're lucky.
You guys are playing at like 245.3. Yep.
Play Barstall, download the app, make your picks, win $500.

Speaker 3 I've got great fingers. We're going to lock them up.
Return of Tittleman's Crest. Oh, there we go.
He's back in the booth, nailing it. Are you done, Hank? I'm done.

Speaker 3 Where can they find that game? I'm excited. Play bar stool.

Speaker 6 Download it in the app store.

Speaker 3 DFT and I are going to get in the. I think we're playing.
Who are we playing?

Speaker 6 Tommy Smokes and Liz.

Speaker 3 Oh, okay. We're going to mentally alphabet.
Game over.

Speaker 3 What happened in the most recent Play Barstool event, the ping pong match, the big match we were talking about on Sunday night between you and Jake?

Speaker 6 Cake beat me narrowly.

Speaker 3 Narrowly. I heard it was different.
20 to 8 in the last year.

Speaker 3 It was the rubber match. And Cake still has a broken, pretty much broken ankle.

Speaker 6 He's a fighter. I'm not going to sit here and make excuses.
Jake fought through. He beat me.
He beat me fair and square. He's a fighter.
It was a great match.

Speaker 3 Great broadcast, more importantly. Yeah, what a sportsman.
I want to give that out, Jake, for

Speaker 3 your turn.

Speaker 3 Great recovery.

Speaker 3 I'm done, Billy. You're done.
My hot seat is haters that don't believe in the power of football, guys, because Joe Judge is going full football guy with the New York Giants.

Speaker 3 He's making the coaches run laps. Jason Garrett is in the best shape of his life, and he's doing like Oklahoma-style drills.

Speaker 3 He's doing one-on-one tackling drills at the goal line, just lining guys up, having them hit each other full-on. And it is giving Dave Gettelman a massive, massive erection.
Yes.

Speaker 3 Every day this week has been a different Joe Judd story of how he's, you know, changing the culture. I just,

Speaker 3 it's so funny watching Belichick disciples go somewhere and just be like, I'm going to be the Belichick. He's going full Belichick.
It's going to,

Speaker 3 this is like, if they win, you know what he's doing, they're fine. But if they lose, that's a quick way to become Romeo Cornell and like Josh McDaniels.
Right.

Speaker 3 He's an interim head coach in a head coach's office. So doing all the Dan Campbell tricks, the Tony Sperano tricks.
He's going to bury football eventually. He's going to burn some game film.

Speaker 3 He removed names from jerseys. Yep, that's right.
So that's another football guy thing he did. He'll probably take the red jerseys off the quarterbacks eventually.

Speaker 3 He's like, you're a football player, too. I can't wait till he slowly gives names back.
Yeah, how does that work? How do you earn your name? I don't know.

Speaker 3 You got to earn your, like, it's a pinstripe situation. You have to bring your mom to practice.
Yeah. With a birth certificate.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I I know the Cowboys always do that with the stars on the sides of the helmet. But yeah, Joe Judge is, he is going full interim head coach right now.

Speaker 3 And I hope it works just because I want to see Joe Judge in the league if he's doing hilarious stuff like this from day one. I hope it works out.
But history tells us it might not.

Speaker 3 So when they asked him, when they asked the New York media to ask Joe Judge about taking names off practice jerseys, he said, we should know who we are by the way they carry themselves.

Speaker 3 It's important to know the person across from you by the way they move. There you go.
Yes. You need to know their movements.

Speaker 3 It's as unique as a fingerprint. I mean, honestly, I could spot Eli Manning, his run, his gait from anywhere.
So Daniel Jones probably isn't that far off.

Speaker 3 They should actually make Daniel Jones earn the Brooks Brother logo on the front of all his button-up shirts. Question, do we have video of the coaching staff running?

Speaker 3 I didn't see any video of it. Okay, because there's no chance that Brett Bielma ran.
There's no chance Freddie Kitchens ran. Wait, is he on the Giants? Yes, both of them are on the Giants staff.

Speaker 3 Maybe he's just trying to get him into shape. There's no...

Speaker 3 Dude, Joe Judge is going to kill his whole fucking staff.

Speaker 3 It would be unreal. Like football during a pandemic, and you get no positive corona tests, but Joe Judge kills two of his coaches because of laps.

Speaker 3 That is a great way to ensure that there are no minor mistakes on offense and defense for the linebackers. You know that Bielum is going to run one.

Speaker 3 I can't think of two guys that would want to run less than Brett Bielam and Freddie Kitchens.

Speaker 3 no i can't uh because they don't exist so there's jason garrett who's probably like behind he's probably like keeping the pace and clapping

Speaker 3 running he's already he already fucking he's an overachieving asshole he went to princeton he's been running laps forever instead of like the 13.1 or the 26.2 on the back of his car he's just got eight and eight in that little bubble yep uh who else do we have we've got uh Derek Dooley's on that staff, too.

Speaker 3 Okay. Former Tennessee head coach.
Yep. In his pants.
In his pants and his shower discipline. You remember that? Yep.

Speaker 3 He gave a workshop to the Tennessee volunteers on how to properly clean themselves in the shower. Yes.
Because his team had a massive staph infection.

Speaker 3 And then on my cool throne, I've got legs. Legs are on the cool throne.
NFL media is salivating, absolutely busting grapes over A.J. Dillon and his tree trunk sequoia legs.

Speaker 3 Now it's at the point where like the first picture came out and everybody was like, holy shit, look at this guy. He's thick with like seven C's.

Speaker 3 And now it's to the point where all the photographers are just trying to get pictures of A.J. Dillon.
It's like, remember Eddie Lacey?

Speaker 3 Yes, so it's like the reverse Eddie Lacey, where they're all trying to get that one angle of this guy's muscle. It's like if Eddie Lacey's stomach were legs, they're trying to capture that moment.

Speaker 3 So expect to see a lot more of A.J. Dillon's hamstrings and quads.
Yes. All right, my hot seat.
Let's talk about baseball. So my hot seat is the unwritten rules of baseball.

Speaker 3 We had the entire story: Fernando Tadiz hitting a

Speaker 3 Fernando Tadiz Jr.

Speaker 3 hitting a grand slam when the Padres were up seven in the eighth inning on a 3-0 count. And now,

Speaker 3 was there anyone who was actually offended by this? I think only the managers. I think only, and then when Tatis had to do an apology, people were like, fuck this.
Why do you apologize?

Speaker 3 But this is one of those moments where we have to take a step back and be like, show me the people who are fighting. Like, it's probably just Aubrey Huff

Speaker 3 and like Peter Gammons. Goose Gossage.
Yeah, Goose Gossage. He's definitely pissed off.
And like Peter Gammons, and like, that's probably it.

Speaker 3 Well, I think I would agree with you, but the fact that both managers were like, that was Bush League.

Speaker 3 You know, that, so since they're the ones that are calling the shot, I think Manny Machado was pissed off because he knew that he was going to get hit. Yeah, that, I understand.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I understand as a teammate, but I just.

Speaker 3 Sportsmanship in professional sports shouldn't exist. Well, I don't know.
Just ban it. In Little League, great.
When you're a pro, fuck that.

Speaker 3 On the other hand, it was kind of nice to wake up to a debate about the unwritten rules of baseball because all the other headlines that we've had in baseball have been like, the Cardinals went to

Speaker 3 an all-you-can-eat bat restaurant in Las Vegas, and everybody has coronavirus. That's what we've been waking up to for the last three years.

Speaker 3 Indian pitcher Zach Pleaseak, you know, goes out to an EDM concert and does an Instagram live from there.

Speaker 3 Yeah, Clevenger pulled a Phoenix Suns with his teammates and got coronavirus from one Instagram model. It was a lot of that going on.
That's just hazing, though, in baseball. That's true.

Speaker 3 Good point, Hank. Good point.
But yeah, it's nice to see an unwritten rules debate. It feels like it's been years since we've had one.
It is. It feels really good to have unwritten rules talked about.

Speaker 3 I just,

Speaker 3 we need to.

Speaker 3 They stole third today, too.

Speaker 6 That got people remad. Yeah.

Speaker 3 And then the Rangers tweeted, like,

Speaker 3 have fun with this one, trolls. They lost today again to the Padres.
And then they did the thing on Twitter where you can't reply. No one can reply.
Got it. You can quote tweet it, though.

Speaker 3 I really do think we need to make,

Speaker 3 we need to to like teach one of those classes at like Medill at Syracuse and be like,

Speaker 3 we need to, every, like 10% of every Syracuse, Mizzou, Northwestern, Columbia journalist grad needs to be the torch like bearers for unwritten rules. Whoever graduates top in their class.
Yes.

Speaker 3 Or bottom. That's whatever.
You decide, but we need, because my problem is, I can't argue against unwritten rules if there's no one still earnestly arguing for them.

Speaker 3 It feels futile to be like,

Speaker 3 I can't believe people are mad about this. And then you look at Twitter and it's like, no one's actually mad about this.
So we need a designated group. Like I would love for someone to start a list.

Speaker 3 Here are the unwritten rules people. The Danny Connell Scholarship Award.
Right. Goes to those people.
Here you go. These are the people, the Doug Gottlieb,

Speaker 3 kids who can't understand unwritten rules good. I think it's mostly inside the game of baseball right now.

Speaker 3 It's either people that used to play or people that are currently playing the game that get mad about it. I'd actually curious if Gottlieb, because Gottlieb is, he is really, you know how there's

Speaker 3 beavers? The beaver population is a sign of whether the ecosystem is doing well.

Speaker 3 Doug Gottlieb's take is whether I can figure out if like we are on the right path as a society. Because if he's got...
the terrible take, you're like, okay, we're doing something right. Yes.

Speaker 3 So I wonder if he was, if he's even on the side of Tatis, then we're fucked. We are.
But I'm pretty sure that he would be because he just puts his finger up in the wind.

Speaker 3 He's like, which way is everybody else blowing up? No, but he still fucks it up. And he still somehow fucks it up.
I'm over there. Yeah.

Speaker 3 I mean, if Doug Gottlieb starts to agree with me about things, then I think it's on me to then have to disagree with Doug Gottlieb. Yeah.
Yes. You got to look at the man in the mirror.

Speaker 3 Okay, so I'm looking. Nope, he didn't even talk about it.
Damn. He's doing the baldy breakdowns for basketball now.
Oh, that's nice. Yeah.

Speaker 3 All right, my cool throne is Big Ten Football because Big Ten Football's is back. Totally.
It's officially back. Sur Yacht.
Sur Yacht. Who is Sur Yacht? He's a popular.

Speaker 3 He's a random dude on Twitter who last night I got tagged in one of his tweets and he was like,

Speaker 3 My sources are telling me that the Big Ten football season, like schools are very upset, Big Ten football season still is back on. So then I went on his Periscope.

Speaker 3 I'm pretty sure he was drunk. And then he said he has a source.

Speaker 3 A high-placed source. One source.
Okay. And then

Speaker 3 he also said today that Kevin Warren, the Big Ten Commissioner, is 75% chance he resigns. Kevin Warren doesn't have, he doesn't know what he's going to do.

Speaker 3 There's been all sorts of reports that have come out in the last day or two that just say there was no vote that was put up.

Speaker 3 Kevin Warren just kind of like kind of figured out that they could be sued if he didn't cancel the season. Right.
Maybe, and then he decided to.

Speaker 3 I think just if enough people go viral, then that'll convince him to put the season back on. I know.
Actually, ironically, would also convince them to cancel. Right, right.

Speaker 3 I know deep down that it's not going to happen, but I can dream. You never know.
One person has a source. It's not over till it's over.
Just keep

Speaker 3 it. Just keep feeding me, feeding me, feeding me different schedule releases and worst case scenario, banned jersey exchanges.

Speaker 3 Just tell me random sources and say it with enough confidence and I'll be like, I'm just going to hope this is true.

Speaker 3 Telaria Abraham.

Speaker 3 I'll fucking

Speaker 3 block that kid. Suryat, you're dead to me if you screw this up.
No, but he's given you so much joy in the last 24 hours. Yeah, but

Speaker 3 no risk it, no biscuit. There you go.

Speaker 3 He's in the scoops game.

Speaker 3 He put his reputation on the line. If he's right, I will be shouting Sur Yacht from the fucking mountaintops.
But if he's wrong, you're in the Aria

Speaker 3 Abraham. Hashtag done.
Yeah, done, done.

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Speaker 3 Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest.

Speaker 3 It is NFL Legend. He's also, would you say that you're America's sweetheart? It's Michael Strahan.
Would you say that's fair? America's sweetheart?

Speaker 4 No, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 4 I'm seen by America, but I'm not America's sweetheart.

Speaker 3 I'm a sweet guy. You kind of fall into that category, though.
Like, maybe, maybe America's stepdad.

Speaker 4 Yeah, America's nice stepdad.

Speaker 3 America's nice, America's crazy.

Speaker 4 He's a nice stepdad who doesn't treat you like a stepchild.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I like that. So, you also are a Hall of Famer.
I should have mentioned that. And a Super Bowl winner.

Speaker 3 And we have a lot of stuff we want to talk to, but I actually wanted to start there because I saw

Speaker 3 that your jersey's up for auction or something from the Super Bowl game, but I don't think that's your jersey. Tell, what's going on?

Speaker 4 I saw that too.

Speaker 4 That's not the jersey that I have hanging downstairs in my gym. That's not the jersey that I remember wearing at the game.
And,

Speaker 4 you know,

Speaker 4 that was the last game I ever played. And I kind of knew if we were going to win, I was going to retire anyway.
And And it's the Super Bowl.

Speaker 4 So I just knew after that game, I was going to keep everything. I kept everything except for the shoulder pads.
That's the only thing I didn't keep. So I packed everything in a bag.

Speaker 4 Once we came off the field, stinky

Speaker 4 nasty shrubbed it into my helmet and into a duffel bag and gave it to my buddy Ian Smith. And the jersey's hanging downstairs.
And the rest of it, I have the rest of the jersey.

Speaker 4 I have my gloves, my wrist brace, my shoes. I got everything.
So when I saw that, I was a little surprised too, man.

Speaker 3 All right. So yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 How does that work is there like a backup jersey that you have in case yours gets torn during the game could that be it i mean i don't know we always have backups we always have backup jerseys but that the jersey i had is the one i wore the end i have the one i wore the entire game and um then when i got back to new jersey i take it out the bag the whole thing is wet still soaking wet and nasty and i had to let it air out and i didn't wash it i didn't want to have it wash because if you wash it you pretty much wash away the game in my opinion it looks just like every other jersey you've ever worn right so um the thing still has the

Speaker 4 stains on it from dirt and Gatorade and the stench, if you were to take it out of the frame.

Speaker 3 Okay, so everyone should know that if you see an auction with the jersey that Michael Strahan wore in the Super Bowl, it's not real. He has it and he's not selling it.
So

Speaker 3 erroneous on all accounts.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I mean, and why would I sell that? I mean, I don't need to sell it.

Speaker 3 I don't need the money.

Speaker 4 To me, that was the epitome and

Speaker 4 the best thing that ever happened in my career was winning that Super Bowl. That was better than Pro Bowls and

Speaker 4 all that stuff, because that was something I had the chance to do with the guys. And yeah, when I saw it, I was surprised, man.

Speaker 4 So, you know, I was like, okay, maybe I thought for a second, maybe I was going crazy.

Speaker 3 So I said, okay, let me go. Let me go get

Speaker 3 my stuff, right?

Speaker 4 So there are my shoes.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 4 Maybe I forgot something else. Then I said, man, I got my gloves.

Speaker 3 Here, my gloves right here. It is not like it's not fair, too, because when you see that story, my initial thought was like, ooh, is Michael Strand having tough times? He's got to sell that jersey.

Speaker 3 Yeah. And it's kind of bullshit.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Here's my wrist.
Here's my wrist brace. Let's see how it's broken right there.
But that's my wrist brace.

Speaker 3 Okay. Do you have your cup? Can we buy your cup off you?

Speaker 3 Nah. Here go the pants.

Speaker 3 You just keep these like hanging out around your house. They're not like in a bag or a frame or anything.

Speaker 4 I keep this stuff. Like, I keep, I have a, I have a storage unit where I keep it.

Speaker 3 here's my helmet still in plastic whoa okay nice

Speaker 4 so but i keep this stuff like this you know to be honest with you if you come to my house in my gym is the only place i have any football memorabilia so if you go if you if you come to the gym you go downstairs i have my my super bowl jersey i have two game worn um um Pro Bowl jerseys and then one that's a replica jersey.

Speaker 4 And then I have like a man cave where I have everything else. Cause I never was a guy who liked football.
I did it.

Speaker 4 I loved it, but I didn't want to like freeze my mind that people walk in the house and the only thing they see is, oh, he's football. Like I'm big, I'm more than that.

Speaker 4 Like I'm a human being with a lot more interest.

Speaker 4 So I didn't want to like almost stifle my thinking to think that football is the only thing that I could do when I walk into my own house and that's all I see.

Speaker 4 So I've always kind of separated the two. So I keep this stuff.

Speaker 4 stored away and I really don't don't don't look at it that much except for my jersey which is in the gym and that's here at the house because that was the most special piece of memorabilia that I have.

Speaker 4 And I'm not a big collector of a lot of things, but that I definitely wanted to keep.

Speaker 3 You're America's sweetheart. So let's talk about that game real quick because it's obviously one of the most famous games in NFL history, I'd say.
You know, the Patriots going for a perfect 19-0.

Speaker 3 At what point in the game did you say to yourself and the guys on the defensive line, like, this is working. Like,

Speaker 3 they're not looking like they've looked the last, you know, 18 weeks.

Speaker 4 Well, I think I'm not going to say they weren't looking like they looked. I think we weren't looking like they expected us to look.

Speaker 4 And I would say after the first two defensive series,

Speaker 4 we were hitting Tom Brady so many times and so fast within the first two series.

Speaker 4 I thought, okay, this is kind of a joke. Like they're playing with us.
They're letting us get to him so fast that they can dump a little screen over our head or they can do something like that.

Speaker 4 And then you started to realize after the first two series, no, we are just playing a lot faster than they are on offense right now. And we just needed to keep it close.

Speaker 4 It's just like anything, like a boxing match or anything. You keep it close.
You always got a chance for a knockout. And for us, thank goodness

Speaker 4 we had a chance for the knockout and we did it.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Yeah.
We had Gotham Chopra on the show a couple of weeks ago. He's the documentarian.
He said that every time he's been around Tom Brady and you at the same time,

Speaker 3 the very first thing that you do is you bring up that game to him. You won't let it go.

Speaker 4 Man,

Speaker 4 Tom got six of them, so he could take it for one. But I think that what help hurts him the most because it was a perfect season.

Speaker 3 Yeah. So yeah,

Speaker 4 he's told me that. And you know what? I'm like one and one in Super Bowls.
He's like six out of nine or whatever. To be at the Super Bowl nine times in his career, in anybody's career is insane.

Speaker 4 But yeah, Choke

Speaker 4 Gotham is a Patriots fan.

Speaker 3 Right.

Speaker 4 So he's upset. Tom's upset.
I'm surprised we're business partners, but I'll take whatever I can get.

Speaker 3 But,

Speaker 4 hey, I'm happy with my one, man.

Speaker 4 I'm not getting greedy. I'll take it.

Speaker 3 Looking back a couple weeks before that game, the famous Tom Coughlin red face game in Green Bay, did you think that Coach Coughlin was going to die?

Speaker 4 I thought he had my, you know, my mom called me. My mom never called me about anything like that.
I mean, when I was a kid, if you got hurt, my mom would basically say, rub some dirt on it, get up.

Speaker 4 If I ever got hurt at the pro, I'd never laid on the field. I always made it off the field.
And if I had to go to the to the locker room, I would at least go in the tunnel and then collapse.

Speaker 4 Like, don't collapse on the field. Because mama wasn't playing that.
She called me and said, is he okay? Because he looked like your shirt. I mean, that man was red.

Speaker 4 I'm surprised he did not have a frostbite. And we had some guys who did, because that was ridiculous.
What do they do?

Speaker 4 When it's that cold, man, they always tell you, don't go outside, make sure you don't put your animals out, put your car in the garage.

Speaker 3 And here they're like, oh football players go play entertain is yeah it was crazy it was insane yeah um are you is eli definitely a surefire uh first ballot hall of famer in your eyes i mean you're biased but no i'm not i think in it i think eli is a hall of famer is he first ballot i don't know but i think he's a surefire hall of famer without a doubt i think just the two super bowl wins and and the clutch plays that he had just the career that he had without missing that he had without missing games and all those things definitely in my opinion makes him a hall of famer yeah first ballot that's up to so many other people's opinions that other than mine that i don't vote yeah what about uh what about the new coach the giants have joe judge he sounds like he's starting to do he's going down that that dangerous path where all the former patriots assistant coaches they try to do this they try to be real hard asses in their first year like uh matt patricia telling reporters to like sit up with better posture you know doing all these like weird football guy things trying to replicate the system that worked in New England.

Speaker 3 How can somebody come in from like outside of your culture and implement that without the players just being like, fuck you? You know, like, I'm a grown man. I'm an adult.
I'm a professional.

Speaker 3 I don't need to be running laps because I jumped off sides day one of training camp.

Speaker 4 I'll be honest with you. That was the same way with Coughlin when he first came in.
He was a hard ass. And we gave him the middle finger just like you just did.
Like, dude. What are you doing?

Speaker 4 Like, we've been here. We're vets.
We don't need all this

Speaker 4 crap that you're doing. And

Speaker 4 I think Judge, I saw today he had the coaches running with the alignment. And I'm like, man,

Speaker 4 your coach would be killing you if you

Speaker 4 screwed him up. Have you seen the way these coaches look?

Speaker 3 They're not in running shape.

Speaker 4 So he's got the coaches out here running, man, which I think is going to change a lot of stuff. I've seen so many coaches, especially Belichick ex-coaches.
who come and try to be Belichick.

Speaker 4 I think if this is really what Joe Doug is, then players will buy into it. But more than anything, a player, Bill Belichick can be as hard ass as he wants.

Speaker 4 But at the end of the day, the players know that he cares about them. And that's what it boils down to.
Coughlin, when he came in, it was like we were like little pieces to be put here and there.

Speaker 4 We didn't have any connection with him as a human being. But the second we connected with him and we realized he saw us as people, our team got better and our team started to win.

Speaker 4 So I don't think there's any mistaking that having a connection, a human connection with your team is what helps you win. And so so, if he has that, he has a shot.

Speaker 4 If he doesn't, I don't care how many laps you run, how good, bad, nice, or not nice you are, you just won't win.

Speaker 3 What about like, how did that work out with Coughlin? How did he show you that he was actually human? He like lets you use the bathroom once per day, or you know,

Speaker 3 excuse you being like 10 minutes early.

Speaker 3 He's like, Don't worry, that's cool.

Speaker 4 That's where it happened with me. Yeah, supposed to be five minutes early, and we had this whole big debate because he tried to find some guys who were like seven minutes early,

Speaker 4 but he had already already closed the door to the room. So he's like, that's like, that's like, like, coach, you saw those guys standing out there, and then you did that on purpose.

Speaker 4 And I think that that was when he kind of lost a lot of some respect from the team. And guys were like, man, this guy is crazy.

Speaker 4 I was the designated go talk to Coughlin guy whenever anybody had a problem because I was the oldest guy there, like year 14 or 13, 12, 13, 14, where I was kind of like, I don't give a damn phase.

Speaker 4 And I would talk to him. He would just dismiss it.
Yeah, I hear you. I hear you.

Speaker 4 i hear you and he we had an agreement that it was five minutes early but if you were in within that five minute time frame you got you talked to you he didn't find you and i came in three minutes early to a meeting

Speaker 4 and i got a letter yeah and i got a letter on my stool for 500 bucks now it wasn't the 500

Speaker 4 it's like okay 500 bucks it was the principal and the fact that he and i just had this conversation after i was dealing with the other guys who got fined

Speaker 4 And we, we were going to our practice bubble because it's cold outside. And he and I, we started out in a nice cordial conversation.
Like, hey, coach, you know, I just got this letter on my stool.

Speaker 4 He's like, yeah. I said, it said I was late and I got fined.
And he said, yeah. I was like, but coach, I wasn't late.
And then it just, it just kept escalating.

Speaker 4 And I'm trying to be, you know, nice guy, Michael. But then when he said, well, next time, don't cut it so close.
It could have been more. That's when I went full

Speaker 4 football, Michael.

Speaker 4 John Runyon, Eric Williams. I don't care about nobody.
I'm going to hurt you guy. And I just looked at him, man, and I let him have it.
I just let him have it.

Speaker 4 I'm not going to say what I said, but put it this way. Next time I'm late,

Speaker 4 F it.

Speaker 4 I'll come in here when I want to. I'll stop and run Aaron to get IHOP.
And then I'll come in here with that. I want to.

Speaker 4 If I'm going to be late, you're going to find me. I'll do what I want to do.

Speaker 4 And he looked at me and he goes, you can't talk to me like that. And I said, Yes, I can.
I said, If you don't respect me, I'm not going to respect you.

Speaker 4 And

Speaker 4 he was still in shock and he still said some other things. I said, Well, you know, I always tell you what's going on, and I'm always trying to tell you what the player to come to me for.

Speaker 4 And then when I say it, you just say, I hear you. I hear you.
I say, You're dismissing me. Do you think I'm stupid? You're just dismissing me.
But listen to this, you're losing this team.

Speaker 4 Do you hear that? And I walked away from him.

Speaker 4 And ever since that conversation,

Speaker 4 been like that.

Speaker 3 That's great.

Speaker 4 I think he realized, like, I can't keep just beating guys down, finding

Speaker 4 you for wearing your socks. Your socks aren't high enough.

Speaker 3 Right. Huh?

Speaker 4 I'm at practice, dude. You think I care if I have on a gray sleeve or a blue sleeve? They're both in my locker because they come with the giant issue equipment.

Speaker 4 I'm not worried about what colors I'm wearing. Not a gang.
We're a football team. Go ahead to play.
It was just crazy, man. But once we got on track, guys loved it.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Really went to battle for him.

Speaker 3 That's interesting because i think a lot of coaches get right to that point that like point in the the road the fork in the road it's like which way am i going to go here especially with pro football because you guys in college you can kind of get away with it because you get a turnover of people of players but in pro it's a little different so cofflood after that was he was he a little bit nicer or was it just he listened to you more I think both.

Speaker 4 I think both.

Speaker 4 He was nicer in the sense that you felt like he actually had concern. And

Speaker 4 he actually would try to come around and tell jokes and stuff and try to be funny, which was so out of character.

Speaker 3 Which would love it to hear a Tom Coffee. Even if he's not funny, it's funny because he's trying.
Right. Do you remember how he was trying like, are we supposed to laugh? Is he trying?

Speaker 4 It was a little uncomfortable for a while until you realized, okay, he's really trying to show us his personality. And I think that guys, guys, once they saw that, guys bought into it.

Speaker 4 And I used to tell tell guys all the time, you know, when I used to go, but I had to butt heads with him. And I had to realize to myself, I realized, okay, either I got to be a part of the problem.

Speaker 4 I'm going to be a part of the problem or I'm going to be a part of the solution. Which one do I want to be? My career is winding down.

Speaker 4 Once we get to the meat of our disagreements, at the center of it all is we both want to win. It's really.
We both have the same goals, just kind of going about it in a different way.

Speaker 4 And I said, I want to be a part of the solution.

Speaker 4 So I thought if I buy in with some of his stuff and he eased up on some of his his other stuff, we could meet in the middle and guys are going to follow. And guys did, man, and I'm thankful for it.

Speaker 3 So

Speaker 3 you mentioned going off on Coughlin there, and it reminded me, you know, your very, very good friend, probably, I can say best friend, Jay Glazer, has been a friend of ours for a few years.

Speaker 3 He's been on our show a bunch of times. I think he told us once that of all the people that he's been around, you have the switch where when you flip it, you can just go crazy mode.

Speaker 3 You're the nicest guy in the world, but you have that like, all right, now it's a football game. Like, I'm going to, I'm going to destroy you kind of feel to it.

Speaker 3 Do you ever think about that when you're like, you know, on TV in front of like a bunch of moms in America watching you in the morning?

Speaker 3 In the back of your head, you're like, remember that football switch that I have? Like, have you, do you ever go back in the back of your brain and think about that switch?

Speaker 4 I mean, the switch is there. I mean, hey, the switch is always there.
I just don't need it now.

Speaker 4 If I flipped it on TV, I'd probably scare a lot of people.

Speaker 4 But for football,

Speaker 4 it literally

Speaker 4 is survival. And that's what people, a lot of people look at it, it's a game.
Okay, big guys run around, they hit each other, they do all these things. Okay, that's great.
No, for me, it was survival.

Speaker 4 And to me, it was respect. I didn't care about anything.
I didn't care about, you know, Pro Bowls and all that stuff were going to come if I went out there and played for respect.

Speaker 4 And I played for respect. I never played to cheat the game.
I wasn't playing.

Speaker 4 Of course, you're playing to make a living, but it wasn't as if, okay, I got to go out here and make money because after a certain point, that's not enough to continue to play.

Speaker 4 For me, it was about respect. So when I look at a guy who's 350 pounds and I'm at the, you know, weighing 200 and my heaviest 75, last three years of my career, 240, something, 250, I got to survive.

Speaker 4 It's me or you. When they turn on the tape tomorrow, they ain't going to see me getting laid out.
They ain't going to see me getting run over. They're not going to see.

Speaker 4 and I just said, Hey, it's me or you, and it's gonna be you. My will to win is greater than your will to keep me from winning.
And that was the switch. We can have this conversation.

Speaker 4 We can laugh and go

Speaker 4 say defense. I grab the helmet, I'll put it on and turn like that.

Speaker 3 Well, well, all right. So it's about respect.
And you have the switch still.

Speaker 3 So would you flip the switch if someone said, Hey, Michael, remember that time you paid Brett Favre to take a dive so you could get the sack record?

Speaker 4 No need to

Speaker 4 flip the switch on that. 22 and a half, baby.

Speaker 3 If you don't like it, go break.

Speaker 3 How much did you pay him, though? Seriously,

Speaker 3 please.

Speaker 4 You know, I have enough money to pay Brett Favre for anything.

Speaker 3 How about that? But that's what kills me.

Speaker 4 That's what's so funny about people. Everybody, oh, that's sack with Brett Favre.
If they only knew, I didn't give a rat's ass

Speaker 4 about

Speaker 4 sack record. They didn't mean anything.
Records are meant to be broken. The only record I cared about when it came to sacks, I already had.
That's LT's single season record with the Giants.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah. But, but, but, but, but they didn't count sacks when LT was a rookie.

Speaker 4 No, senior single season.

Speaker 3 Do you know what he did when he was a rookie? He could have had 30 sacks. You don't know that.

Speaker 3 He didn't get 20-something sacks.

Speaker 3 Did you go watch?

Speaker 3 Did you watch the film? I watched the film. Uh-huh.

Speaker 4 He didn't get 20-something sacks. Deacon Jones told me one year he had like 80 sacks.

Speaker 3 I'm like, Deacon, I don't get 50.

Speaker 3 No way you had 80 sacks. But I would absolutely do that.
If I played back in the day, I would make up stats all the time for some of my games that they didn't keep.

Speaker 3 Deacon Deacon was my man.

Speaker 4 I mean, you're talking about somebody who took care of me as a young player. Rest in peace, my man, Deacon Jones.
But Deacon's like, I'm the real sacrament. I had 80 sacks in one year.

Speaker 4 I'm like, Deacon, nobody had 80. And it was funny because I was talking to Lawrence.
I was at a golf tournament with Lawrence last year.

Speaker 4 we're talking and he's going on about sacks. You're going to say, you got the giant sack record.
That's my record. And I said, LT, he goes, they didn't count.
They didn't count sacks.

Speaker 4 I said, whose fault is that? It's not my fault. I said, I broke the number that was there.
He go, well, you know, I missed

Speaker 4 however many games. And I go,

Speaker 4 that wasn't my fault. You took drugs.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 That's true.

Speaker 4 And he even had to laugh at that man.

Speaker 4 That dude, I love him because as tough of the competitor and as intimidating as he was and still can be.

Speaker 4 He always was great to his teammate.

Speaker 3 He was great to me.

Speaker 4 And I was standing behind him every day and like the dummy for practice squad to him. Always took care of me, give you the shirt off his back.

Speaker 4 Always wanted the best. And I love about those teams between LT.
I play a lot of golf with O.J. Anderson.
Harry Carson is my man. I mean, these guys took care of me when they didn't have to.

Speaker 4 Because I was that new generation that usually doesn't listen to any of the older guys. But those guys took care of me.
I love them.

Speaker 3 Okay. So speaking of a former teammate,

Speaker 3 do you still not talk to Tiki? Oh, yeah, I talk to Tiki. Okay, but you have, you won that.

Speaker 3 So that the famous, you had a contract dispute and Tiki did the thing that you're not supposed to do and tried to, you know, talked out of turn. You guys had it out.

Speaker 3 I just want to say, I mean, Tiki has a good career going, but you basically got the career that Tiki wanted and also won a Super Bowl.

Speaker 4 I mean, Tiki had it. Tiki had a TV career.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 But you're Michael Straight America, sweetheart. That's very nice.
You're nice. You're very nice.

Speaker 4 You know, you know, but my career is completely different from his because

Speaker 4 my route to where I was going was completely different. First of all, I played football and won a Super Bowl.
That helps. He retired the year before.

Speaker 4 I think it helped that I was able to go into the entertainment side of television, not straight to the news.

Speaker 4 I was able to actually do the football side of it on a fun show and not a show that was as structured, I think, as CBS was at that time. And I never looked at it like

Speaker 4 for me,

Speaker 4 I think when Tiki came out, he wanted to make a splash.

Speaker 4 splash so he talked about Coughlin he talked about Eli he did a lot of things that I personally wouldn't have done because at the end of the day I'm not gonna say something about the guy that I just went on the field and played with for like for to for the network or for a rating or anything like that but I think at that time there probably a lot of pressure on him to do that And I and I, but I'm friends with him now, definitely good friends with him now.

Speaker 4 You know, I let bygones be bygones. At the end of the day, I got my money.

Speaker 3 Sure.

Speaker 4 That was my whole thing was about just, you just don't talk about somebody else's financial situation when it's not your own without completely understanding. Just don't do it.

Speaker 3 I think what you've done is like there are a lot of people that currently play right now who say, I want to be the next Michael Strahan when I retire, not realizing that like.

Speaker 3 Not everybody can do what you do. I feel like you've got a pretty diverse skill set going on.
Like when Gronk retired, you know, he tried to do Fox. He was in the media for a little bit.

Speaker 3 I think he worked with you on some of the Thursday night stuff. Do you have any advice for these guys being like, hey, here's how you can become the most liked person in America?

Speaker 4 You know what, man?

Speaker 4 I,

Speaker 4 first of all, you got to enjoy it. You got to enjoy it.

Speaker 4 You have to work at it. And everyone sees now and goes, oh, Michael's doing this.
Michael's doing that.

Speaker 4 They didn't see when I'm getting turned down for things, when I couldn't get callbacks from people, when I'm hosting events and doing things for nothing just to get the experience of doing it for messing up when I'm messing up.

Speaker 4 And you know, all these, they just didn't people just didn't see that. Now they think, oh, he just showed up on TV a long way from showing up.

Speaker 4 I started doing things on TV when I was with the Giants just because they'd asked me and I would do it. I thought, oh, that was fun.
Let me do it again.

Speaker 4 I never thought about it being a career, but now it's a career. But for all these guys who are out there playing now,

Speaker 4 my biggest advice: play as long as you can,

Speaker 4 play as hard as you can, make the most that you can, put it away, and make that your primary job.

Speaker 4 Don't start trying to be 20 other people because your primary job right now that's going to get you to the ends and to the business is football.

Speaker 4 Don't lose focus of your primary for something that is secondary and can wait.

Speaker 3 I like your point, though, about not saying no to things and going out and doing a bunch of different things because I think that that happens a lot in the media industry where you see the finished product and you don't realize like oh he's he's actually been putting in reps everywhere forever you know what's so crazy the one of the first things i ever did and i think back to it now it was pretty dangerous i lived there used to be an electronics company called tops here in

Speaker 4 new jersey and every monday night i used to go to a a um winning they draw a lottery i'd go to the winner's house and watch Monday night football with them and whoever they invited with a foot-long sandwich that felt like fed like 20 people and some drinks.

Speaker 3 So here I am just pulling up at strangers' houses and I'm watching football.

Speaker 4 And so you have to learn how to talk to people.

Speaker 3 Right.

Speaker 4 You have to learn to get along with people. You have to learn how to decipher and figure out a room real quick.
So I thought about that. I'm like, that was really stupid.

Speaker 4 But now I look at it and go, that really helped me in my career. When I first started with Best Damn Sports Show, I used to sit in front of a camera like this, but I didn't have a monitor.

Speaker 4 I couldn't see everybody on the other end, but I had to be animated and

Speaker 4 responsive to their conversation to be a part of it. So all those things that at the time I was doing, I was just doing it because I didn't really know, have now come into play in what I do now.

Speaker 4 But it's a lot of work and everything, the learning experience and failure, the learning experience. Don't get discouraged.
You just got to keep pushing forward.

Speaker 4 But, you know, I just want athletes to know too, to be honest with you. I mean, TV is only a part of what I do.
I mean, we had a production company.

Speaker 4 We produce game shows, tv shows movies we have the talent management company we have clothing companies um have the business with gotham and tom as well that production company so football and tv are only serve several small aspects of what you can do with your life there are just so many more things out there that this could lead to if you play your cards right so you you have a million jobs you're one of the hardest working guys out there

Speaker 3 I was actually talking to our new co-worker, Deion Sanders, prime time. Don't know if you ever heard of him.

Speaker 4 he said you're scared to do a podcast with him I'm not scared to do a podcast with Dion I told Deion he has to loosen up his pants in the crotch area before I do a podcast with him

Speaker 4 and I can hear the screen the screaming from his nether regions for help and uh

Speaker 3 he does like to tight fit he's gone the euro fit speaking of that

Speaker 3 he's always talking he called my he's like you wearing that wayne brady suit like i got this tight suit on he's got the euro fit that's true so on the other end of the spectrum um i'm just this just popped in my head but do you uh have like a fond feeling of the nfl sunday show coming to a close when terry bradshaw like untucks his shirt and he looks like a dude who's been sitting at a bar for the last seven hours you're like all right time to go home terry Yeah, hey, man.

Speaker 4 That's that's light for everybody at home. You should be in the dressing room with him when he got the tidy whiteys on.

Speaker 4 That right there is a sight to behold, America.

Speaker 3 Trust me.

Speaker 4 But, you know, that show, man,

Speaker 4 I'm so thankful for the show. It is the best thing in the world.
So much fun. The guys are amazing.
And you don't realize there is no age difference when we're on the show. There is none.

Speaker 4 Jimmy's not 70-something, and I'm not the youngest one there. Let me just let that be known.
But it's no age difference. We are like,

Speaker 4 guys and kids and boys who love the sports and we love each other. And there is so much support and love there for everything that we do there and away from there.

Speaker 4 Um, and I can't think of a better, better brothers. You know, we're not even co-workers, we're brothers.

Speaker 4 And the group text that we're on, all these things, it's not like we just show up and do a show on Sunday and we don't communicate. Man, we talk to each other all the time.

Speaker 4 I talk to them more than I just about talk to anybody else in my life.

Speaker 3 Who's the glue guy?

Speaker 3 The glue who holds it out all together. Who's the glue guy of that group?

Speaker 4 Um, um, Kurt Minifey.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 4 Kurt Menifee is the the like

Speaker 4 he's he's if you need a random fact or

Speaker 4 something, you gotta ask Kurt, he knows the answer to everything. But he is the guy that I think everybody knows is always together and got his stuff together.

Speaker 4 You can ask anything too, and he's gonna come through for you.

Speaker 3 What's Terry like on the on the group thread? What's his text game like?

Speaker 4 Um, just like what you, his talking's like on Sunday, just gibberish.

Speaker 3 Imagine, imagine those words in text.

Speaker 4 Yeah, and then the greatest thing is when Jimmy figured out voice notes and emojis.

Speaker 3 I can imagine. Yeah.
Oh, man. Yeah.
But I mean, I would love to see what Terry's speech to text translates to. If that can pick up on that, that Louisiana.
Put it this way.

Speaker 4 That translator is having a hard time, man. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Hard time.

Speaker 3 How do you manage your schedule? Like, just, this is a stupid question, but like, how do you do it?

Speaker 4 Sleep. You got to learn when to sleep.

Speaker 4 I'll be honest with you. That was the hardest part.
When you're doing the news, I'm up every morning.

Speaker 3 Yeah, what time do you get up?

Speaker 4 i'm up at like five okay

Speaker 3 gross

Speaker 4 but it's like it's not like i'm up at five have some coffee hang out no i'm up and i got to be going like i got to be thinking i got to be reading i got to know what's coming on i'm coming up And there is no, oh, give me a cup of coffee, close my office door, let me relax and get into the day.

Speaker 4 No, you got to be on it. And so with that,

Speaker 4 the hardest part is being disciplined enough to go to sleep, which now I'm fine with it. But at that, when I first started, started, that was tough, man.

Speaker 4 You're just trying to burn both ends of the candle. That will wear you out.
So now I get to bed early. I do that.
And after that, I have meetings. And before COVID, it was crazy.

Speaker 4 I'm constantly running. Now this has slowed it down a little bit.
And now I just try to, I think this has shown me that just, I need to break every once in a while.

Speaker 4 So I try to put everything I can on a day or two of the week and then have the other days when I'm just off from GMA that I had a day to myself so I can go play golf or do nothing.

Speaker 3 It sounds exhausting. It sounds really, really tiring to wait.
Just, I mean, forget about the rest of it, just waking up before 8 o'clock every morning seems just awful to me.

Speaker 3 What time do you guys get up? It depends on the day. Well, we work out

Speaker 3 at 7. Sometimes we're here until like, you know, 2 o'clock in the morning.
Typically wake up at like 8, maybe 9.

Speaker 3 Wow. Yeah.

Speaker 3 It depends on really what time of year it is. Actually, I wake up and get mad because I have a kid and no one else does.
So I wake up and I'm like, fuck, everyone's definitely still sleeping.

Speaker 3 Fuck this oh yeah sometimes i'll wake up at like 11 30 and i'll text the group i'll be like hey guys i just woke up to college game day anyone else see this man the cat's like fuck you yeah fuck you that's okay i've changed six diapers that's all right they're all gonna die alone i'm gonna have a son who loves me forever i've got a dog and he's gonna live forever so that's good too uh

Speaker 3 Got a question about your buddy Jay. So we've

Speaker 3 talked.

Speaker 4 I got so much on Jay.

Speaker 3 Yeah, we've talked. We've shared a lot of stories with Jay.
He always likes to talk about how he's a great fighter.

Speaker 3 He's a big MMA guy he can beat anybody up etc etc etc if do you think that Jay could could beat you up if you were asleep so Jay gets like maybe one good punch and before you wake up you have to realize the fight environment you're in and then you can just go wild on him oh

Speaker 3 oh

Speaker 4 I'll be honest with you I used to be able to whip Jay pretty handedly

Speaker 4 Jay's tough man like Jay Jay went from like shaking your hand to greet you to giving you a leg kick That was his way of saying hello.

Speaker 3 What the hell are you doing?

Speaker 4 Hell's wrong with you.

Speaker 4 Yeah, but Jay, I mean, if he if he punched me in my sleep and woke me up, oh, he's gonna take a beating because that's what they call waking up hot and heavy, as my dad used to say.

Speaker 3 And you catch me like that, I'm gonna, I'm gonna work, I'm gonna whip you.

Speaker 4 I may whip you unconsciously, but I'm gonna whip you. But Jay is not a pushover anymore, right?

Speaker 3 He's in,

Speaker 4 and I watch him, him train. And I've been in there with him training.
He's trained me. He actually knows what he's doing.
I've known Jay so long that I'm surprised he actually even had the job.

Speaker 4 So I'm just like, dude, it's really amazing his MMA stuff and what he's built over there at Unbreakable with the team members, the people that he's built it with.

Speaker 3 I'm proud of Jay.

Speaker 4 And the thing I'm most proud about with Jay, to be honest with you, is MVP.

Speaker 3 His emergency

Speaker 3 program.

Speaker 4 This guy

Speaker 4 is,

Speaker 4 you know, Jay back in the day could be selfish.

Speaker 4 And I said, Jay, MVP, you are the

Speaker 4 most unselfish, selfish person I've ever met.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's funny.

Speaker 4 That's when I say that. But what he does with that program, man, is the thing I'm most proud of him about outside of him building a career that he's built from nothing.
Because when

Speaker 4 I was there when Jay was struggling, I'm offering to help him pay his rent. He's like, nope, won't take it.

Speaker 3 So

Speaker 3 he's obviously talked about how you have helped his career.

Speaker 3 Do you think he's helped your career?

Speaker 3 Because in talking about why everyone loves Michael Strahan, I think maybe part of it is you walk around all the time with like a short psycho guy who everyone's like dude just chill out and then you comparatively like that guy's so nice everybody thinks i'm the bodyguard he's the bodyguard the little short guy well jay and jay helped me on and off the field on the field he helped me by lying to me Because every time we would get

Speaker 4 ready for a game, he go, oh, Mike, hey, hey, this guy, hey, the media guy, they were telling me, he was talking about, you're not nothing. Straighthand ain't anything.

Speaker 4 Straight hand ain't going to do nothing. I'm gonna do this to straight hand, I'm gonna do that.
I used to get in the game and look at the guy and say, Oh, I'm not, oh, I'm not this, I'm not that.

Speaker 4 You're about to see, I'm about to whip you, you know.

Speaker 4 Then eventually, one guy was like, What are you talking about?

Speaker 4 And I think it Lonnie Pele, or somebody with the Eagles, who used to play the Giants with me, and he said, Oh, I have to him straight hand up and practice, and now I'm with the Eagles, I'm gonna shut him down.

Speaker 4 After the game, I'm like, Yeah, yeah. And Lonnie's like, What are you talking about? So I said, Jay, did he say anything? Like, he goes, Well, no, he actually didn't.

Speaker 4 And neither did the last seven guys.

Speaker 3 Oh, my God.

Speaker 4 But he got me ready to play. And I'll never forget being at Fox, the way he helped me

Speaker 4 with TV, is Jay would come in and say, okay, what are you going to say today? And I'm like, I figured it out. He's like, no, what are you going to say? He would help me craft my notes.

Speaker 4 And then he would make me say it to him.

Speaker 4 as if I'm on air, which is uncomfortable when you're sitting there with your friends acting like, well, then, you know, I'm like, you know, say it like you're going to say it on air.

Speaker 4 And then he would say, take that out punctuate this get to the point tell experiences that you have that other people don't have you can say the regular things that everybody else says but you've been in a locker room you know what the mentality is you've been in there when the coach is yelling at halftime or you've been in there the thrill of victory share that with people that's what they don't experience so jay has helped me in more ways than i can say um in broadcasting he is a he's been a you know he's been a good one to keep around yeah yeah did you go to that party with him at still uh sylvester stallone's house yeah man i was there yeah we heard about that that's the name drop city yeah that's party

Speaker 3 incredible there yes yeah i tell you man i don't know how the little guy does it he offends everybody and then they take him in i don't get it yeah he offended us when he said he had the biggest news ever and then it was like the rams backup center got coronavirus but we still love him

Speaker 4 Yeah, I mean, when he did that, I think he was so mad because I think people were blowing up his

Speaker 4 Twitter and Instagram thing, man.

Speaker 4 I was like, oh, Jay, to be honest with you, I don't even know who the guy is.

Speaker 3 Yeah, you kind of missed that one. That's okay.
We all made

Speaker 3 at the same time. He's going to get them all out the park.
Yeah. It also speaks to the weight of whenever Jay, whenever he tweets out news, it's always the biggest news.
Right.

Speaker 3 It's always out of nowhere. So when he says he has a story, people are like, Odell Beckham's getting traded again, you know, something to that magnitude.
And then it ended up being what it was.

Speaker 3 And then he had to defend it. It was the fallout was very funny.

Speaker 4 But yeah, it's actually like a problem of his own design because he's been so good at his job yeah and you're right he does such big news that when he says that because he never really said that before and i'm like but the thing is i'll give it jay he won't tell me he won't tell he will not tell you ahead of time and if you're a source he will not tell you who said anything i don't know where he got the spygate tape from i've been the guy's best friend for 27 years now will not give up his sources and that's one thing he is a vault so when he says i got some big news all the other big news he's had you think is going to be huge.

Speaker 4 And not saying diminishing that guy had coronavirus, right? But it wasn't the biggest, let's say, sports story we expect from Jay.

Speaker 3 And we build it up in our heads.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it's more our fault because we all build it up in our heads. All right, I had one last question, Michael.

Speaker 3 So, this is a ZipRecruiter question with a seamless experience from start to finish, just like this question: ZipRecruiter takes care of your recruiting.

Speaker 3 Right now, you can try ZipRecruiter for free at ziprecruiter.com/slash take.

Speaker 3 So, you went to a small college, Hall of Fame career.

Speaker 3 If you were playing right now with all the coronavirus and everything that's going on, where do you land with like college football trying to have a season?

Speaker 3 And I would imagine someone like yourself who had to prove it at

Speaker 3 a small college and then get a chance in the NFL and then take that chance and kick ass through it. Like you don't get many opportunities if you're missing like your senior year at a small college.

Speaker 3 Where do you land on that?

Speaker 4 Ah, that's tough, man.

Speaker 4 i i just think if they had the right protocols then of course i would love to play football i think that's what it comes down to is how do you protect how do you protect the safety of the players and and and the coaches and and everyone else who's associated with the program because you got to remember these players they're like oh the players are young they'll get over it everybody's affected differently because there have been some young players who haven't gotten over it some young athletes who've had heart conditions and other things that they're finding out that the virus can do.

Speaker 4 So for me, it would be a matter of how do you try to keep it as clean and virus-free as possible. But it's hard when you're on the college campus.

Speaker 4 As we see, some of these kids going back to school now having parties, and the first time you're away from home and you're like, hey, mom and dad can't tell me anything. I'm getting out.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Then you get around people. So you just, it would be very hard pressed

Speaker 4 for me not to play. especially if they could say these are the ways that we're trying to protect you.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Okay.
Yeah. I feel like that's where a lot of America is right now.
There's still a lot of we don't know, right?

Speaker 4 But then I do hate, though, I hate when people are like, oh, they just play football, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, yeah, because that's not your kid.
You want to be entertained on a Saturday.

Speaker 4 You know, that's all you cared about is having college football. You're not really cared about the health of these guys because if you did, when a guy blew his knee out, you didn't care about it.

Speaker 4 No, they just put another one in there and you keep moving.

Speaker 4 To me, it's about really protecting the health of these young players and even the health of the players in the NFL.

Speaker 4 Because you see, basketball's working, baseball's had some hiccups, hockey's working, But you can't put the NFL players in a bubble. I mean, that would be absolutely insane.
Right.

Speaker 4 So we'll see how it's going to shake out in college. We'll see how it's going to shake out in the pros, but I think it's going to be some challenges.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Where do you see it going at the professional level? Because in my opinion, since they're not doing a true bubble, it's just, it's not if, it's when.

Speaker 3 It's a matter of time until like a team has an outbreak like we've seen in baseball. Then like two teams have an outbreak and then, you know, then we've got weeks that are shut down.

Speaker 3 The schedule gets all messed up, and then the whole thing kind of crumbles at its base. Like, is there any way that you can think of outside of instituting like a mandatory

Speaker 3 three-city bubble or something to that nature?

Speaker 4 I don't think you can do that because too many, it's too many players, too many families, too many of all that stuff. I think that with the NFL, you do have a week between games.

Speaker 4 So, I think that that may give you a little leeway. If I'm a guy who was on the bubble or I was in a camp, I stay in shape.
And in some of these games, you may see that the backup backup center of the

Speaker 4 backup behind the backup starting. Who knows? But I think the biggest effect will be if it happens when you get a major quarterback or player or a major coach who gets it.

Speaker 4 And like Doug Peterson already had it to

Speaker 4 see how that affects the team. I think once we see that, that may change some opinions.

Speaker 3 I actually have one last thing. I actually, thinking through everything that you've done, Hall of Fame, Super Bowl, America's Sweetheart, tolerates Jay Glazer.

Speaker 3 I think your number one legacy might be when dumb football fans like ourselves and every idiot fan sitting at a bar across the country decides that they've figured out how to play defensive football by just saying just get pressure with the front four.

Speaker 3 That's you guys.

Speaker 3 Like when they do like keys to the game, hit Tom Brady. It's like, yeah, that's pretty fucking easy.
What?

Speaker 3 But that's what they're talking about. They're like, you just got to, pressure starts up front.
Like, you just got to do, you got to win. You got to win the line of scrimmage.
The Giants did it.

Speaker 3 Yeah,

Speaker 4 trust me. It's not that easy.
I love that, man.

Speaker 4 You're the first person in my life who's ever said that. It is not.
You get pressure with the front foot. That's what they got to do.
I've even been accused of saying that myself on Fox.

Speaker 4 It's hard.

Speaker 3 It's hard to do before.

Speaker 4 It's four on five, basically. So somebody's going to have to win a double team.
You You can't have any gap for the quarterback to step up.

Speaker 4 Your outside guys really got to, you know, come from the out, like be tight. It's very coordinated.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Um, with four guys, and you have to have four unselfish guys out there. And to be honest with you, nowadays, you have to have a rotation because

Speaker 4 you got to have a good rotation with backups who are just as good. It can start in other places that just happen to be backups because on your team, they're like one and one A.

Speaker 4 You know, so it was, we found that formula with the Giants. Thank goodness, we found it a few times, but it's hard.

Speaker 4 And that's why I think the second highest paid position in football is the defensive end behind the quarterback, because that's the only guy on the defensive side of the ball who can disrupt the quarterback in so many ways.

Speaker 4 So, yeah, get pressure with the front four.

Speaker 3 And then, if you're trying, if you're trying to win offensively, you just gotta, you gotta protect the quarterback. Well,

Speaker 3 establish the run.

Speaker 3 Right. Establish the run, get pressure with the front four, and no mistakes on specialties.
Yeah, boom.

Speaker 4 Yeah, and I tell you what, man, when you're rolling, like we were rolling, oh, there's no better feeling than knowing lining up four guys, you can put six or seven.

Speaker 4 We're gonna whip you, it doesn't matter.

Speaker 4 And you look at the guy across from you, and you look him in the eye, and you can tell he doesn't want to be there because he's confused.

Speaker 4 Because he knows you can run around him, you can run underneath him, or you can run over him.

Speaker 4 That is the absolute best feeling because you can see the desire of a man and soul leave a guy through his eyeballs.

Speaker 3 I like that. Yeah, Also, just thank you for beating the Patriots that season because the shit that America would have to deal with with 19-0 Patriots fans.

Speaker 3 Patriots fans in Massachusetts, like probably 40% of the population would have 19-0 tattooed somewhere on their face or neck, like Takashi 6ix9ine. It would be everywhere.
So thank you

Speaker 3 for not making America deal with us. And we'll finish here.
The jersey that's for sale is not correct. Fugazi.
Michael Strahan has the real jersey.

Speaker 3 Do not bid on that auction. Someone is screwing with him.
We are here to set the record straight. Michael Strahan, thank you so much, man.
We really appreciate it.

Speaker 4 All right. Thank you, man.
I appreciate you.

Speaker 3 Thank you, guys.

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Speaker 3 Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. It is David Arquette.
He's got a new documentary coming out, August 28th. Video on a man.
You cannot kill David Arquette.

Speaker 3 That's a ballsy title for a documentary given 2020 and everything that's gone on, wouldn't you say?

Speaker 4 Yeah, it was titled before 2020. It actually is based on a 90s song that a band called the Black Math Experiment wrote about me and sort of my characters and movies that I never died.

Speaker 4 and we decided to use it as a title but little did i know there'd be so many people suffering so hard yeah is that true have you never died in a movie i have died several times in movies in bumping the vampire slayer i died twice

Speaker 4 uh no so but in the scream movies and just

Speaker 4 in general it's just like sort of a funny fan song that they made but we wanted to put in the film. It was my wife who produced the film, Christina Arcadi.
She did an incredible job. She suggested it.

Speaker 4 And the directors, David Darg and James Price, were super cool and saw it, saw how it worked and used it.

Speaker 3 It's funny that you mentioned that because I've kind of always wondered about actors when they do die in movies. Like, do you get coached on how to die, or is that left up to your interpretation?

Speaker 3 Because I know some people do, you know, the eyes roll backwards in their head. Some people stop breathing for a while.

Speaker 3 Do you actually have to hold your breath?

Speaker 4 You do have to hold your breath especially if you're playing a dead body like if you're in a casket or if you're just dead on the floor in a scene those are weird because sometimes you can do like a week where you're just dead on the floor you're just coming in getting dressed and laying down and trying to not breathe

Speaker 4 you know there's a lot of weird stuff that happens in making the movies but you know there's all kinds of different ways to die

Speaker 4 You know, it's all always kind of creepy doing certain kind of research as an actor.

Speaker 3 Yeah. So the documentary, you are making a return to professional wrestling.

Speaker 3 You're trying to, and you can tell me this is wrong, write

Speaker 3 what has been wrong or what people have perceived as wrong after you won the WCW title and fans have kind of shit on you for that for the last 20 years.

Speaker 3 How has that experience been? Like,

Speaker 3 if you were on the street, will someone come up to you like fairly often and be like, you shouldn't have won the title? Like, that was bullshit? Or is it more like online?

Speaker 4 It depends. Like, when I used to go to WWE events or something, some people would be cool, like, oh, there's a former champion.
Or other people not be so cool. It was really sort of got

Speaker 4 amplified with the internet. You know, the internet wasn't as big back then.

Speaker 4 Once the internet came alive, I just became the butt of all the jokes.

Speaker 3 And I just kind of got sick of it and like felt bullied and kind of wanted to stand up for myself and and just kind of figure out why people got so upset what is it about wrestling that people really love and uh you know honor wrestling sort of make a love letter to wrestling with the with the movie we made yeah you grew up a wrestling fan i know that you have uh randy savage and miss elizabeth tattoo you've got like you actually grew up really enjoying this stuff so have you put yourself inside the brain of like a 11 year old david arquette and thought how would I feel if a guy like David Arquette won the title belt when I was watching

Speaker 4 well that's how I thought it would be perceived more like I was living a fan's dream like they could see themselves in me

Speaker 4 uh but the fact that I was an actor and the fact that I was a comedic actor I think people like kind of were like what

Speaker 4 And you know, since then, the size, you know, they used to be just like all monsters, like in their height

Speaker 4 and uh and now with like Daniel Bryan and Seth Rollins and different people there's different sort of weight classes and and any of them can really be the champion it's just a matter of you know if if the audience typically

Speaker 4 kind of

Speaker 4 makes champions in a way they respond to the people they like they kind of support them and push them and then people then the companies sort of watch what's catching fire.

Speaker 4 So since then, it's a kind of dynamic had changed where there's smaller wrestlers doing a lot of interesting stuff. So I thought, well, I can, I can compete with those guys.

Speaker 4 And I learned something in the process too, that, you know, aside from just being

Speaker 4 strong and

Speaker 4 tall or whatever. You have to be tough and you have to be crazy.
And I had both of those things. And I was like, I can be crazier than any of you motherfuckers.

Speaker 4 so so that's sort of where i came from i was like all right let's do this and and in the movie you can see it gets pretty insane so i'm a wrestling fan and going through this you have to know is you you're a diehard wrestling fan as well wrestling fans are irrational and they're very loyal so has there been a part of you when you're making this you're trying to right the wrongs in the back of your head do you realize that like half of the people who watch this still won't care and they'll be like fuck david arquette like he he still shouldn't have wanted yeah no no and I totally respect that actually I'm fine with that I don't care I almost did it for myself just to stand up for myself so you know everyone's entitled to their own opinions and whatever their takeaways are I don't really care I just wanted to do it for myself and I really sort of learned a lot in the process and just

Speaker 4 felt you know by the end of it I was sort of accepted in the locker room as one of the boys and you know a lot of the people I was wrestling in the same, on the same card with have now, like, since that experience, have gone on to be on AEW and WWE.

Speaker 4 And, you know, it's really cool to sort of see that progression.

Speaker 3 Yeah. I feel like

Speaker 4 ultimately I was ranked top 500 in. 2019.

Speaker 3 There you go. Okay.
You made a list. That's always important.
If you can look back and be like, I don't care if it was like top 5,000 of something, that's me on that list. That's pretty cool.

Speaker 3 I feel like you could have gone one of two ways with this. You could have gone the direction that you ended up going, which is like, I want to prove myself to these guys.

Speaker 3 I want to show that, you know, they didn't just hand something to me and I want to be respected. Or you could have gone the other way, almost like the Andy Kaufman route, and gone, like, I'm Mr.

Speaker 3 Big Shot from Hollywood, California.

Speaker 3 And, you know, what I, whatever I want to do, I get to do. Did that thought ever occur to you to just like fully embrace a heel roll and be like Mr.
Big Shot from LA?

Speaker 4 Yeah, well, after a match that I lost to King Brian, I got so upset that I felt people were patronizing me that

Speaker 4 I did sort of go a little crazy and started saying I was from Hollywood. This was at Northeast Wrestling in New York.

Speaker 4 And then Jerry Lawler came out and set me straight with the nice stiff pile driver.

Speaker 4 Kind of put my head back on straight. So I'm glad that I had that happen.

Speaker 4 But andy kaufman was always a an inspiration for me i always loved his love for wrestling and the fact that he embraced it so much and you know there's tons of matches that he did in the memphis area that you know hollywood or or the even the wrestling community weren't really aware of he really rode that storyline and played it out for a long time wrestled all these girls and all this funny stuff so i always got a kick out of that i think if you want to be accepted in in the wrestling community you just got to talk about all your injuries more so what's the gnarliest injury you've had wrestling

Speaker 4 well I got stabbed in the neck with a light tube okay that's pretty good my fault that was the gnarliest I thought I was dying it actually hit my neck muscle where I got five stitches in my neck muscle but um it protected me from my jugular getting hit um

Speaker 4 That was sort of the craziest, but the most painful was fracturing three ribs and then still having to wrestle for

Speaker 4 months on end.

Speaker 4 with fractured ribs is really so painful because you're all constantly slamming your body down and uh when you have

Speaker 4 fractured ribs it's hard to breathe or sneeze it's just everything hurts so uh that was that was super painful and then after the pile driver

Speaker 4 uh

Speaker 4 my my neck muscle has been jacked up ever since there's certain things you have to do to protect yourself and if you're just coming up you kind of learn like you learn not to something again.

Speaker 4 Like, I'll never take another pile driver from Jerry Lawler.

Speaker 4 Not that he does it wrong or anything like that. The way I took it was wrong.
But, um,

Speaker 4 but yeah, so I don't know. It's it's a crazy you constantly.
I had a surgery on my elbow. You know, my back's still messed up.
It's it's a brutal, brutal sport.

Speaker 3 Um, can we talk about your other love, the Lakers?

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 Is LeBron a real Laker?

Speaker 4 Yeah,

Speaker 4 of course he's a real Laker.

Speaker 3 Are you sure? He is? He's not a mercenary? Hired gun?

Speaker 4 I don't know about that. As long as he puts the jersey on and wins the championship, that's all we care about.

Speaker 3 So Dwight Howard's a real Laker?

Speaker 3 Yeah, I mean...

Speaker 4 The way I look at it is if you put the uniform on, you're a Laker in my book. I don't know.
I'm pretty loose about that stuff, though. I'm like a fair-weathered fan.
I'm not like all hardcore.

Speaker 3 You go to a lot of games, right? You sit, sit, you have seats pretty much court side, or are they court side?

Speaker 4 They're my buddies.

Speaker 3 Okay. All right.

Speaker 4 Whenever I get the call.

Speaker 3 And I have to ask, because there was that famous incident after a playoff game in 2010, I want to say, when you got in, like, you, you, were you jumped on a fan who was trying to get into onto the court?

Speaker 3 You basically just decided you were a security guard, probably because of your wrestling background. What happened there?

Speaker 4 No,

Speaker 4 it was a fan who had gotten out of line and he was choking

Speaker 4 one of the security guards nobody was doing anything so i pulled the guy off him but then it was probably the worst thing that could have happened because that just brought more attention to yeah should have just stayed in my lane i feel like they should have given you season tickets just for that yeah or at least made you a security guard right and like some kind of badge or something they definitely like you know are very nice to me and

Speaker 4 but i don't think the security guard was a big fan of me doing that. There's a great picture of like, I think it's an MMA fighter who's just sitting back and he's sitting right there, just

Speaker 4 watching.

Speaker 3 So somebody that was actually like trained to intervene in a situation like that. Yeah.

Speaker 3 He's just sitting back.

Speaker 4 Like, he knows not to get involved. I was...
I was a knucklehead.

Speaker 3 Yeah, there's some funny pictures out there. I'm looking at it right now of you wrestling this guy off of the security guard.
Man of action. I would have just said, no thanks.

Speaker 3 Like, I'm just going to, you know, leave my seat, go try to beat the traffic. I'm out of here.

Speaker 3 I wanted to jump back real quick to, I think, the first time I was introduced to you was the Scream movies. Oh, yeah.
So that was like right in my wheelhouse coming up, mid-90s.

Speaker 3 You played Officer Dewey in the Scream movies. I guess my first question is, were you scared by the Scream mask? Because that thing, as like an 11 or 12 year old, that thing was terrifying.
So scary.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 I know. It was crazy.

Speaker 4 The story is that Wes, they couldn't find the mask they were looking and they he went into the back of this uh like old costume store and found this mask like and he's like what about this one

Speaker 4 and uh

Speaker 4 and apparently uh they had bought it and used it in the movie but hadn't got the rights to it so whoever designed that mask owned the rights and then until they put like scream on it it's not a scream mask it's only that other guy's mask.

Speaker 4 He's a famous mask maker, like Halloween costume mask maker.

Speaker 3 I feel like a good mask can totally make a horror movie. Like just that mask alone.
It's like iconic. Everybody recognizes it.

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah. I love that.

Speaker 4 I did a horror film called The Tripper, where my killer was

Speaker 4 a guy who was obsessed with Ronald Reagan, who had attacked hippies at an outdoor music festival.

Speaker 3 Holy shit.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 It was based on

Speaker 4 a crazy time I had on a music festival. And I was like, what if some maniac came out of the woods and just started hacking all these hippies up?

Speaker 4 So that I sort of did this like political satire in a horror film.

Speaker 3 Now, were you under the influence at that point? Or is that just how your brain works? Like, this is your brain on David Arquette?

Speaker 4 Yeah, a little bit of both.

Speaker 3 I mean, there's always sort of, you know.

Speaker 4 At those kind of functions, you're pretty loose.

Speaker 3 How many screams are there going to be made? I know scream five is in pre-production. If they, if in like 20 years we're on scream nine, are you like, I'm in? Just keep running it back.

Speaker 4 Absolutely. I love playing the character.
I love working with Wes and Courtney. I mean, sorry, Courtney and Nev, and

Speaker 4 I'll miss working with Wes. For Wes to carry on Wes's legacy is a big part of this, and just sort of being close to the people who are a part of the originals.

Speaker 3 You collect puppets?

Speaker 4 Yeah, I have a bunch of puppets.

Speaker 3 That's fucking creepy.

Speaker 4 I know. This is a monkey who like waves, but he was in the

Speaker 4 beginning of the Pee-Wee's Big Adventure outside of the bike store.

Speaker 3 Oh, I love that monkey. Wait, so how many puppets do you have?

Speaker 3 Because aren't you ever afraid that you're going to wake up one night and all the puppets will be animated and they'll be alive, ready to kill you?

Speaker 3 Like if you have one puppet in your house, that puppet, it's not an if, it's just a when will it decide to become alive and kill you what are you afraid of puppets yeah i'm afraid of puppets they're fucking creepy man you were just saying that you were at a music festival the happiest place in the world and then you just imagined some dude coming in and hacking you up but you oh my god that's the creepiest puppet ever no dude no

Speaker 3 no dude no uh-uh that puppet is gonna kill you what the fuck

Speaker 3 sorry do you just like look around like when you look over your shoulder and you see that fucking creepy ass puppet, you're not like, holy shit, what am I doing here?

Speaker 4 It's like looking in a mirror.

Speaker 3 Whoa,

Speaker 3 dude.

Speaker 3 It's like a fun. You live in a fun house.
What the hell? This guy, dude.

Speaker 3 That's my grandpa. Oh, my God, dude.
Can you do the...

Speaker 4 No, I'm sorry.

Speaker 3 Can you do the thing?

Speaker 4 I do have a bit of a puppet obsession because we have puppets at Bootsy Bellows. So they go around, they dance, and people take pictures with them, like for instance.

Speaker 3 Well, I think it's also one of those things that if you get one puppet, you might as well get 100 because you're just a puppet person. You know what I mean? Like it's a sliding scale.

Speaker 3 You just, it's over. Once your first puppet has been purchased and put prominently in your house, it's that's a rat.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Well, that first one, the real creepy one I showed you, my grandfather made that.

Speaker 3 So

Speaker 4 we've had puppets in our family for a long time.

Speaker 3 Puppets in your blood. Okay.
Do you do the ventriloquist thing? Can you throw your voice or do you just have them around and just look at them?

Speaker 4 My whole thing is I do it really badly. Like, that's my.

Speaker 4 I just like,

Speaker 4 like, we can see your mouth moving.

Speaker 3 Jesus Christ.

Speaker 3 I'm like upset at myself for even asking that question. What else? Do you collect anything else weird?

Speaker 4 No, I mean, I collect just a bunch of stuff, like these salt shakers.

Speaker 3 Okay.

Speaker 4 Hey, this is old salty and Cat and Pepper.

Speaker 3 Okay, okay.

Speaker 4 Just stupid shaky.

Speaker 3 That's kind of

Speaker 3 Sgt. Pepper.

Speaker 3 That's also puppet adjacent. So I would categorize that as still under the puppet fetish.
It's a small part.

Speaker 3 Yeah, right.

Speaker 4 Sorry, you have such a puppet thing.

Speaker 3 Are you scared of clowns, too? Yeah, I mean, yeah, I saw it as a kid.

Speaker 4 Oh, my gosh. Yeah.

Speaker 4 That's a problem.

Speaker 3 Yes, yes. Have you ever thought about that? Like, going back to Scream? I mean, I remember, when did the first Scream come out, like 90.
95 or something? Yeah, so I was like 10 years old.

Speaker 3 I remember watching it and being scared to death of like, oh, every time my parents leave the house, I'm going to get a call on the phone and someone's going to slash me up.

Speaker 3 Do you ever think about like a generation of kids that watch that movie way too early and forever are like scarred by the screen mask?

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah, I know. You have to be careful like when you watch those or if you watch them alone or something like that.
Yeah, it's a lot of people see them way too early. I mean,

Speaker 4 you shouldn't watch them so early, but

Speaker 3 you know, maybe that's your next documentary, making the right that is the wrong of like scaring all these kids. I think

Speaker 3 Yeah. I think that you actually scared my entire generation off of answering phone calls.
Yes. Like we all hate talking on the phone.
We'd much prefer that you text us instead.

Speaker 3 I think that goes back to watching screen and be like, if I pick up my house phone, someone's going to come kill me.

Speaker 4 Man, I'm sorry about that, guys. I have no idea.

Speaker 3 Yeah. All right.
So David Arquette, you cannot kill. David Arquette is coming out.
Video on demand, August 28th. New documentary.

Speaker 3 Also, new film, the thriller spree in theaters on digital and on-demand, August 14th, 2020. I had one last question.
It's a meundies question.

Speaker 3 Go to meundies.com/slash PMT to get 15% off your first purchase. You got kicked out of Justin Bieber's 21st birthday party?

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 What's the story there?

Speaker 3 Oh,

Speaker 4 this is a bad, bad situation. It was my fault.
I was just out of line. I don't know.

Speaker 4 I wasn't supposed to be at his party.

Speaker 4 I was going to

Speaker 4 a friend's party that was in the same hotel. And I'd just been on the elevator with all these people.
And then I come out and we have to go into this place. And it was his party.
So,

Speaker 4 you know, it was a whole thing.

Speaker 4 Hey, the Spree movie is insane. And it comes out Friday.
And it's so nuts. It's about influencers.
And it's this guy who's got a,

Speaker 4 he works for this rideshare company called Spree. And he's trying to get followers.
And it takes a really dark turn. It's a really trippy thing.

Speaker 4 There's this Instagram, Kurtzworld96, where you could sort of look up this character. It's the kid, Joe Kiri, who's in Stranger Things.

Speaker 4 And

Speaker 4 just amazing director. It's a really intense film.

Speaker 3 Now you're going to ruin like taking rideshares for people. Now, my justice is

Speaker 3 a lot of people. By the way,

Speaker 3 we can't call a cab because we're free.

Speaker 3 We're totally going to ruin taking ride shares.

Speaker 3 Oh, fuck. Sorry.

Speaker 3 Have fun.

Speaker 3 All right. Yeah.
Sorry.

Speaker 4 I'm like ruining everything.

Speaker 3 That's okay. That's okay.

Speaker 3 But you're redeeming yourself with wrestling.

Speaker 4 Yes. Thank you.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 All right. Well, David, this has been awesome.
We really appreciate it, man. And next time you're in New York City, come on by and check us out.

Speaker 4 I sure will. A shout out to Jerry Kubik, my homeboy, who's a cop up there in Connecticut.
He's a big fan.

Speaker 3 Oh, nice. There you go.
Nice. Thank you.

Speaker 3 Love it. What's up, Jerry?

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Speaker 3 okay let's wrap up the show we got guys on chicks billy's list do we want to do billy's list yeah let's check through it he's really doing nothing good here. We actually hit all of it.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 We pretty much hit all of it. So we're good.
Nailed the list. Let's see.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I nailed all this. Mid's bad.
Men should limit alcohol to one drink a day, federal committee says. Okay, government.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 The guy I have been into recently just moved for a job to Las Vegas. How likely is it that guys partake in sex with hookers in Vegas? Question mark.

Speaker 6 Should I be expecting this to happen like some kind of Vegas initiation and everyone does it? Or do most guys not actually do this as much as I think?

Speaker 6 And do you have any of your own personal experiences with Vegas hookers? Thank you.

Speaker 3 Love you guys.

Speaker 3 Yeah, definitely. Like, once you enter into Vegas, in the airport, there's a brothel.
Everyone stops in.

Speaker 3 They play the one-slot machine at the gate when they get off, and then they go slide it in real quick, and then boom, they're in Vegas.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I'm sure with this job, too, there's like some type of like employee discount or like one of those benefits.

Speaker 3 It's a perk. Yeah.
You know how when you land in Hawaii, they automatically put the lay on you? It's like that in Vegas, except it's a vagina.

Speaker 3 If this girl is writing in and she's been like your boyfriend. Also, who moves to Vegas at this time? That's true.
But your boy, like, guys are either hooker guys or they're not.

Speaker 3 And if you don't know, he probably is.

Speaker 3 Like, if you can't definitively say, yeah, my boyfriend wouldn't get a hooker in Vegas when he goes there for a weekend.

Speaker 3 He's moving there. Moving there, probably for the hookers.

Speaker 3 Maybe he's a hooker. For a job.
Yeah, that's why he's moving there.

Speaker 3 He's a pimp. So he's got to move to Vegas for it.
But yeah, if you were asking yourselves, would my boyfriend do something like this? He probably would.

Speaker 3 There's nothing more electric, though, than going on a trip with somebody and then finding out that one of your friends is a surprise hooker guy. Then that's the talk of the trip for the entire.

Speaker 3 Like, even after the trip's over, you're like, hey, can you believe Craig? Big hooker guy. Got three the first night, two the second night.
He's broke. Ask yourself this.

Speaker 3 If he, if he, like, when you guys met, was he

Speaker 3 forward with you? Was he like talkative and picked you up? Or did you have to do the work? Because if you had to do the work, he's probably a hooker guy. Yeah.

Speaker 3 He's probably got no tea and he's lazy and he's just like, I'm just going to pay for this. Does he leave money on the nightstand? Mm-hmm.

Speaker 3 Yes. Does he take showers all day?

Speaker 6 Why is my boyfriend's number one best friend on Snapchat his ex-girlfriend?

Speaker 3 Why isn't that getting news?

Speaker 3 I don't know how any of that stuff works. Is Snapchat still

Speaker 3 doing it? I think Snapchat has converted full-time to a photo editing service. People just use Snapchat to like make a Photoshop and take the screenshot.

Speaker 3 But Snapchat, I feel like, was the thing, and now it's just, TikTok has just washed them. Although, now Instagram has focused their attention totally on TikTok.
They forgot about Snapchat.

Speaker 3 Now, what Snapchat should do...

Speaker 6 Instagram washed Snapchat.

Speaker 3 Yes.

Speaker 3 Instagram should, or Snapchat should now start to copy Instagram and make their own TikTok.

Speaker 3 What do you, Billy, as our 21-year-old, do you snap? You know what? A lot of people who I'm friends with use Snapchat as their only messaging service. Really? Yeah.

Speaker 3 See, I was going to kind of be proud of myself because I

Speaker 3 withstood Snapchat. Like, everyone was like, you got to get Snapchat against Snap.
And I was like, no. And I was like, I beat it.
There you go. But I might not have.

Speaker 3 It's like waiting when the time changes for an entire five months until it switches back. I'm doing it wrong.
Now they're writing it. I'm doing the same with TikTok.

Speaker 3 I probably will be wrong on that one, but I'm trying.

Speaker 3 What kind of a feature is that, though, though, where it allows other people to see who your best friends are and who you're secretly sending messages that will self-destruct to?

Speaker 3 I think he's just looking at the Snapchat, right? Yeah, you got to go into their account.

Speaker 3 It used to be public, and that used to cause a lot of issues. Yeah.
Because you might be

Speaker 3 Snapchat to someone for like one night, and then the next day, your best friends, and then you got to hear about it. Ah, got it.

Speaker 6 Hey, boys, ever since you guys started playing Dungeons and Dragons, my boyfriend has been obsessed and asked me every day to go play with him. It sounds kind of nerdy.

Speaker 3 Should I play with him? Yes. Yeah, just get dressed up like a dragon.
Yes.

Speaker 3 Probably wants to fuck a dragon. Absolutely play with it.
Cannot recommend it enough.

Speaker 6 Alright, I think this person is just trying to fuck with me, but there's a lot of medical terms, so bear with me. Uh-oh.
Dear wise ones.

Speaker 3 Should I take off my pants?

Speaker 6 I'm a medical assistant in a urology office and regularly have to see other men's penises. Parentheses.
I place catheterers.

Speaker 3 Yep. Yeah.
Catheterers. Catheterers like Feterer, but

Speaker 3 female feterers. Catheters.
Catheter. Catheters.
Catheters.

Speaker 6 Place catheters and assist with

Speaker 6 cystoscopies.

Speaker 3 Cystocopies.

Speaker 6 And vasectomies.

Speaker 3 Cystoscopies. Spell that out.

Speaker 6 C-Y-S-T-O-S-C-O-P-I-E-S.

Speaker 3 Cyst

Speaker 3 Cystectomies?

Speaker 3 Cystectomies. Yeah.

Speaker 6 There's no M, though. And vasectomies.
The guy I'm seeing doesn't seem to mind, mostly because he has no idea that I have to touch penises on a daily basis.

Speaker 6 I haven't met any of his friends in person, but he constantly mentions his best friend and has shown me pictures of him because I asked.

Speaker 6 One day, his best friend showed up to the office and needed a catheterer placed. Because he hasn't seen or met me yet, he had no idea who I was.

Speaker 6 Unsure of what to do, I just quickly did what I've done a million times and moved on. I touched his penis.
Do I tell the guy I'm seeing or do I try and pretend like I've never seen him before?

Speaker 3 I think you have to keep that one. You have to keep that one quiet because his best friend probably doesn't want all his friends to know that he gets catheterers.

Speaker 3 Well, usually the person's unconscious when that happens, right? To get a catheterer? Yeah.

Speaker 3 No. I don't think anyone's...

Speaker 3 What's the consciousness?

Speaker 3 What is it?

Speaker 3 They stick like a catheter. They draw up your dick.
It's like when you can't pee, they put a little tube up there. And then, I mean, I've watched daytime television.

Speaker 3 It's all geared towards old old people. And they're like, are you sick of reusing your catheterers? All right, the black one.
Try this one.

Speaker 3 So, yeah, it's just, it's a tube that basically just siphons urine out of your bladder. The Blackhawks are going to lose.
I'm sorry. That's all right.
Youngest team in the playoffs.

Speaker 3 I'm sorry, big cat. That's okay.
4-3. Like an oil change.
Acathema's an oil change.

Speaker 6 Hey, Laker Dan, PFT, and Finger Frog Billy. I'm a redhead, and my boyfriend keeps referring to my boobs as ginger biscuits and slapping them.
He does this in front of friends and even some family.

Speaker 6 I've asked him nicely to stop, and he doesn't listen. How can I retaliate?

Speaker 3 Start calling him the gingerbread man.

Speaker 3 I think he'll probably like that. And then he'll be like, can I get some milk? Yes.
That'll really set him up, Billy. You haven't thought about that one.
Yes.

Speaker 3 I don't think that you can. I think that this is.

Speaker 6 He's got a nickname for his balls and just start whacking those things. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Whacking them around. Red balls.

Speaker 6 Ginger balls. Well, he's not a ginger.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Just hit him in the nuts. That solves everything.
Love you guys. Wait, we have one more.

Speaker 3 We have a few more. I retract that.
Love you guys.

Speaker 6 No, I mean, if you've got somewhere to go.

Speaker 3 Go last one.

Speaker 3 Damn, there's a couple of good ones. All right, do a couple more.
PFT jumped the gun. We'll do a couple more.

Speaker 6 Are you guys still anti-washing your apples? Need an update with the pandemic and all? Thanks.

Speaker 3 Yes. Yep.
It builds up your immune system.

Speaker 3 I never heard of Apple having coronavirus. Yeah, if you have a.

Speaker 3 Definitely. If you haven't.

Speaker 3 I heard chicken wings can get coronavirus. Haven't heard of an apple.
Apple a day keeps a doctor away. That used to be the saying.
Yep. From a bunch of people that didn't have teeth.
But yeah.

Speaker 3 The red apple is the red quarterback jersey.

Speaker 6 All right, last one. Hi, my name is Allie, but everyone calls me AI.
Was wondering if I should be worried my boyfriend always wants to piss on me when he's drunk.

Speaker 3 That was the other thing. That same

Speaker 3 chick that blew all the suns was like, yeah, Trey Songs pissed on me.

Speaker 3 Well, she was like, yeah, I got it.

Speaker 6 Yeah, she started pissing on me. I wasn't expecting it.
And the other girl was like, Say who was like, Trey Songs.

Speaker 3 Yeah, it was zero pressure. She's just like DeForest Gump of penises.
She's connected to like all the famous genitali in the West. And you know, like, guys are going to still be like, Oh, nice.

Speaker 3 Like, hit her up. And then she's going to probably say more stuff about guys.
They'd be like, How could you say that? It's like, no, we know now. Peeing off.
I like this. I like this girl.

Speaker 3 We should get her on the podcast. We should give her a podcast in Barcelona.
Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 3 That girl needs a catheter for her boyfriend. Oh, good call, Billy.
Way to use it in a sentence.

Speaker 3 Siphon out the p. Nice dude.

Speaker 3 Nice. Is that it? That's it.
Caller Bladdy, a podcast straight about taking leaks on people. Perfect.
Billy. Well, first of all, I love you guys.

Speaker 3 I retract retracting it earlier, so that's a double love you guys. Billy, final thoughts?

Speaker 3 I love

Speaker 3 your face every time.

Speaker 3 Just nothing. I thought we could.
Just nothing. I thought we'd cancel this like this.

Speaker 3 What made you think that?

Speaker 3 I don't know.

Speaker 3 I thought we canceled it. It's truly remarkable how little we ask you to do and how little you actually do towards those girls.
I don't think anyone likes these anymore.

Speaker 3 Well, actually, they found

Speaker 3 a

Speaker 3 19,000-year-old woolly mammoth in the permafrost, according to CNF.

Speaker 3 And they are trying to use it to clone woolly rhinos.

Speaker 3 Today's another day to go and find you. Shine away.

Speaker 3 Are you gonna feel okay?

Speaker 3 Take

Speaker 3 on

Speaker 3 me.

Speaker 3 Take on me. Take

Speaker 3 me.

Speaker 3 Take on me.

Speaker 3 I'm here.

Speaker 3 Gonna go to home.

Speaker 3 Needless to say,

Speaker 3 I wasn't enough for stumbling away. I'm so learning

Speaker 3 that life is okay to say.

Speaker 3 After me,

Speaker 3 it's no better than you said, and I'm sorry.

Speaker 3 Take

Speaker 3 on

Speaker 3 me.

Speaker 3 Take on me. Take

Speaker 3 me.

Speaker 3 Take on me. I

Speaker 3 believe

Speaker 3 that's the part where you dance.

Speaker 3 You like that? I love it.

Speaker 3 What do we have next is verse three?

Speaker 3 Let's bring it back in.

Speaker 3 Yes.

Speaker 3 Yes. Yes.
Yes.

Speaker 3 Ladies and gentlemen, Lipu Yahim.

Speaker 3 He's only here for one night.