Joe Montana, Akon, And Billys Frog Died (RIP Bertha)

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On today's Pardon My Take, we have a twofer showing some range. We've got Hall of Famer Joe Montana on the show, Joe Cool, Comeback Kid, and then we also have Akon, who is a legend in his own right.
rapper

maybe No cool comeback kid. And then we also have Akon, who is a legend in his own right.
Rapper, maybe building a city in Africa that we talked to him about extensively. He's got his own Bitcoin called Akon.
Really fascinating interview. Awesome interview.
That was actually one where Hank, we have a process of who we agreed to have as guests. Hank didn't even ask us.
He was just like, yeah, we're going to do Akon. And then when it popped up, we're like, fuck yeah, we're going to do Akon.
So we have that. We have NBA playoffs starting up.
Hockey playoffs. We're balls deep in hockey playoffs.
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You get $10 for free, $10 for the ASPCA. Today is Monday, August 17th.
Boys, there's so many fucking sports. It's awesome.
It's great. Every day, every day, afternoon, before you go to bed, you turn the TV on and there's sports on.
There's meaningful sports on. Everywhere.
Everywhere. As far as the eye can see.
It's an overload of sports, unless you're a Cardinals fan. Well, I guess they came back this week.
They came back. But yeah, it's been awesome.
And they had four home runs in a row hit on them. Yeah, they did.
That was awesome. I forgot just how heartbreaking it is to be a hockey fan in the playoffs when your team stinks.
Dude. Capital S.
All right, so let's start there. Do you think the Caps maybe regret not signing Barry Trotz considering the fact that he's working here right now? Yeah, he's working.
Now, Barry Trotz has never been a master tactician of any sort, but Todd Reardon, he does look like Kevin Malone behind the bench every game, just like he's spilling chili all over himself, trying to figure out what to do, and he's just shot to bed. That's an underrated story, though.
Can we just talk about that for a second? The fact that the Capitals didn't re-sign their Stanley Cup winning coach after he won a Stanley Cup is still so fucking crazy to me. I know there's money and all that stuff, but how do you win a cup and not bring that guy back? Especially just the way that he looks.
He just looks like a hockey guy. He's got no neck.
His chin extends direct. He's got like Takiyo spikes from the shoulders up going on.
He's just a little sausage. Listen, he's a fun coach.
He's a player's coach. You want a cup? Once you get to the playoffs, it's all about just making your team comfortable, right? You just need a coach that people want to play hard for.
Todd Reardon is not that guy. The power play for the Capitals is as bad as I've ever seen in an NHL game.
Seems like they need a good coach. Really bad.
A Stanley Cup winning coach. So I've resigned.
Well, I quit on the team. Hand up.
I quit on the team. I realized on Friday that I'd watched every goal that went in for the Islanders.

You're hanging them.

And I didn't watch any of the goals that the Caps scored.

So today I listened to it on the radio instead of watching the game.

And they still lost.

And listening to hockey on the radio sucks.

Yeah.

Because, like, they talk so quickly about where the puck is, who's got it,

that I found myself, I accidentally cheered when the Caps got scored on because I was like, oh, wait, I thought that was our goal. Damn.
So, yeah, we're done. Over.
Blackhawks, they're fighting. They're scratching and clawing.
There's also been – it's just been – I mean, the Blackhawks are probably going to lose on Tuesday night. We're probably going to have a double Soggy Sorrows on Tuesday night's show.
Soupy Sorrows. But they did – they fought.
They fought hard, got outshot by a billion and cory crawford was like hey i'm gonna throw it back real quick and have a hell of a game hockey playoffs though like i was watching that entire flame stars game there's just nothing like it even without the fans there's nothing like it and hank we should at least bruins hank we should at least ask your opinion on tu Tuca Rask going with the very bizarre comments of like, yeah, we're just trying to have fun out there and then opting out the next day.

Which I will defend him in a little bit where we do this thing in the media where we're like, we just want guys to give real answers.

And he gave a very real answer and then he gets killed for it.

But still, it's a weird look. The Boston media has always hated Tukarass.
People have always wanted him out. And he said it's for family, so it's one of those things where it's hard to be like.
You can't hate on him. You can't hate on family.
You don't know what's going on behind the scenes and all that stuff. But it's crazy that he went into the bubble.
Like, who leaves the bubble in the playoffs? It's a bubble. In the playoffs.
It just, that quote of just like, I'm just trying to have fun out there like it's it's not really it doesn't really feel like real hockey just trying to have fun reading between the lines it sounded like especially after what the teammates said blowing game seven last year like you think he'd want some revenge for that you know like he was there one game away from the cup the playoffs are starting this is your time like if you're not having fun it's like three weeks but you saw the reaction like from his teammates it seemed like there's something going on that's not public they even said like nobody questioned this we're all on his side whatever that's where it's like it makes it literally makes no sense for someone to go into the bubble and then leave unless there's something serious going on so you have to just assume something serious going on the i have had this thought that this is the easiest uh for if you're a fan of a team that loses in the playoffs, whether it be NBA or the Stanley Cup playoffs, this is the easiest letdown of all time because you can play that game in your mind. What's the point of even winning a cup if you can't go to games or go to the bars with your friends or if you win the cup, have a parade.
You can't even have a parade. It's an asterisk.
So it is the easiest letdown. Everyone should enjoy it if your team loses.
Just enjoy the fact that this will be the easiest letdown of all time that we'll ever have as fans. Yeah, I was just looking forward to the potential of maybe watching meaningful hockey games for myself right like into september potentially that would have been cool um but yeah i i've i've pretty much given up on the season now that said you quit on the team that said you took a rest that said i'm removing myself from the fan bubble but don't let us win one because if we win one then we got what is it we got kurt and then we got pedro and then anything can happen game seven p P.F.
Tuka. P.F.
P.F. Tuka.
P.F. Tuka.
That works. Yeah, just announce that you're opting out right before the game.
Actually, just wait until they get a two-goal lead. Yeah, just like I'm opting out.
I'm still technically – listen, I'm having fun, but it doesn't feel the same, doesn't feel like playoff hockey. Yeah, and you guys don't really follow the inside Boston media, but there is some beautiful takage going on where it's like a lot of the radio guys wanted to go out the whole season, and then when he opts out, they're like, well, how can you do that? We do do that.
This is Shaughnessy season. We do that thing in all of media where it's like we want these guys to give an honest answer, not the canned answer that you hear all the time.
You know, played hard, going to try to win a game, played 60 minutes, blah, blah, blah. He actually gave a real answer where he's like, it doesn't feel like playoff hockey, and then we shit on it, which, I mean, I guess that's just we're all hypocrites.
Well, I don't think too many people shit on it. Like I saw some people in the media like here and there doing it, but from the verbiage that like the team was saying about it i think everybody kind of realized like maybe maybe we don't have all the facts about rascal well not the opt-out the shitting on the opt-out's weird because it's like if there's a family issue i'm saying shitting on the like i'm just trying to have fun out there yeah play off right right yeah that that is an honest answer that then gets shit on and it's like yeah you know what we're all fucking hypocrites and ass Yeah, listen, the guy was trying to have fun playing a game, and that's what he – I don't even think he said anything that was that bad.
It's just like you want – as a fan, you want the athletes to be as bought in and invested as you are. And they never will be.
And they probably won't be. But at least let us maintain that veneer of just being like, yeah, these guys care more than me.
Because then I don't feel like a huge loser. Yeah, you get them every now and then.
That's why I always love a guy like Joe Kim Noah. It's like, hey, he cares just as much as me.
Yes, being reminded. And then those guys become your champion.
Really, in sports, I just don't want to be reminded of the fact that it makes no sense that I care so much about something that is so inconsequential. Just let me maintain that.
We also have the NBA playoffs set. We had a great play-in game, which I think they're going to do now forever, which would be great.
The 8-9 play-in game which happened on Saturday at 2.30. I do not know why it was 2.30 on Saturday.
That was very bizarre. But we have the Blazers as the eighth seed, the final team to make it.
I am... The media has Blazers derangement syndrome.
Oh, I love the Blazers. They have Blazers derangement syndrome.
The Lakers are going to fuck the Blazers up. Put it up, write it down, quote it.
Five games, maybe. They're going to fuck them up.
Do the Lakers have the bubble MVP on their team? This is coming from Laker Dan, straight to your ears. The Lakers are going to fuck them up.
Do the Lakers have the bubble MVP on their team? This is coming from Laker Dan, straight to your ears.

The Lakers are going to fuck them up.

Do the Lakers have the bubble MVP on their team?

Lou Williams, right?

Did one of the Lakers starting players, mom, just die from Corona and he's playing for

her honor?

Grandmother.

Grandmother.

Nice.

Grandmother.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That changes things a little bit.

Bosnian peace.

Yeah.

So now is it Lakers in six?

Yeah.

Lakers in seven.

It was going to be Blazers in six. Do the Lakers have Slim Mellow on their team? Oh, my God.
Slim Mellow. Who excels in bubble environments like the Olympics? Dude, Mellow.
Great point, DFT. Yeah, thank you.
Mellow is so washed. No, he hit that three, Big Cat.
He hit that three. He did hit that three.
He was minus four in a game they won by five. All right.
He played 38 minutes. He hit the three.
Which is more about Damian Lillard being an unselfish superstar. Damian Lillard's incredible, and CJ McCollum is incredible.
The Blazers play pickup basketball. They do not play defense.
Yeah, true. When they play against the Lakers, I think the Lakers just need to get three consecutive stops and the game's over.
I don't know. I don't know.
It could happen in the first quarter. Nobody talks about all the punches that Buster Douglas threw that didn't connect.
Nobody talks about the kicks that Appalachian State didn't block against Michigan. This is what we do, though.
We shouldn't focus on Melo and the 83% of the threes that he missed. We should focus on the fact that he's rebranded as Slim Melo Robert Ori.
But how many times has LeBron, I know this is different because it's a bubble and everything's weird, but how many times does LeBron have to do that thing where at some point in the year... The league fixes games for him so he wins? At some point in the year, the team doesn't look right because he knows.
He knows that the playoffs are different and he's not gonna he doesn't care if they didn't you know they coasted to the to the one seed they won that like halfway through the bubble and then when they start playing the blazers they're gonna kick their ass and everyone's like oh yeah anthony davis and lebron james are really fucking good they are good but big cat you're turning your back on the podcast community by going against C.J. McCollum.
Do the Lakers have any podcasters on their team? Everyone knows I'm a diehard Laker fan. Actually, I bet you Dwight Howard probably does a secret podcast.
Yes. I love C.J.
McCollum. He's in a fucking assassin.
He is so awesome at the end of games. They're going to lose in five.
Maybe sweat. Maybe sweat.
I'm taking the over on that. Okay.
Same. I think Blazers in six.
Blazers in six. Yeah, Blazers in six.
Okay. Same.
Great. I am fully bought into the media derangement syndrome of the Blazers.
If the Blazers beat the Lakers, Hank will get a cat. Hashtag Blazers.
No. Yeah.
No, I just said it I just bet it. I just made that bet.
You made that bet for me, but I'm not agreeing to it under any circumstance. We'll get a cat.
Blazers are the most fun team right now to watch, and a lot of that is because they played really hard, knowing that they had to play really hard. So just let me.
They won by like three in every game. Let me enjoy like a day and a half of being like,

yeah, the Blazers could do it.

Listen, I enjoy watching the Blazers.

I'm just going to call out what I'm seeing

is everyone being like,

dude, Blazers, live dog.

No.

Uh-uh.

Shut up.

Not going to happen.

Damien...

Team of destiny.

If we're handing out our bubble awards...

Oh, the grandmother thing, not mother.

By the way, TJ Warren.

Are those actual awards?

No, I don't think so.

Is the NBA doing it?

I don't think so.

Just everyone in the media is doing it? I think so. Okay, our bubble award MVP, you want.
Are those actual awards? No, I don't think so. Is the NBA doing it? I don't think so.
Just everyone in the media is doing it?

I think so.

Okay, our bubble award MVP, you want to give it to Dame?

Sure.

I'm going Lou Williams because that was sweet.

And Dame.

The NBA officially announced.

Oh, they did?

Yeah.

Oh, okay.

That's what I'm saying.

That's what I'm saying.

So Dame deserved it without a doubt.

TJ Warren finished second.

I think Booker finished second.

Devin Booker also, yeah.

The Suns, they would have.

Listen.

It's bullshit that you can go undefeated in the bubble and not get in the playoffs. I know.
They should have gotten something. That statistically should be a nickel.
Any other NBA before the games actually start? Hank, are you excited? The Celtics are going to kill the Sixers. Yeah, it's like my favorite part of the year.
Although it feels like spring because it's like, you know, first round of the playoffs, Celtics work the Sixers. You do have to be a little worried that Ben Simmons is out, though.
No. Because they are objectively better when it's Justin Beat.
We'll see. Well, no.
And Beat's banged up, too, though. Yeah, he is.
And also the Sixers are... I feel like the Celtics have only athletic wings and the Sixers have none.
Well, also, Kenny the Jet was saying that Ben Simmons is going to be able to shoot in the bubble because there are no fans around to boo him. True.
But then he hurt his kneecap. Then he hurt his kneecap.
And he's got like foreign bodies floating around in his knee, right? Yeah. So that doesn't sound great.
Any other, let's see, I don't see any big upsets happening in the first round. I feel like this is, unfortunately.
N's Raptors. You think the Nets?

Keep an eye on it.

Keep an eye on it.

That's all I'm saying.

Okay, I got one eye on it.

Yeah, keep an eye on it.

What about?

I feel like we all have bubble derangement syndrome.

I do.

Where we're like, anything could happen.

And then all the higher seeds are going to win like it always happens to the NBA.

And then we'll get into the playoffs.

I'm convinced that the Bucs are just absolute garbage.

I don't think that's facts.

Yeah, because of Hank.

Well, the Bucs haven't been playing well. Who are they playing in the first round? The Magic? Giannis should be suspended for the first three games.
That's bullshit. If you headbutt someone in the...
The Bucs are going to beat the Magic by... Nowhere else in the world you get suspended for only one game.
Unless you're Giannis. They're going to beat the Magic by 27 in game one.
And we're all going to be like, oh yeah, another one. You know what i i am desensitized to head butts recently

like that we'll never have a as good of a head butt as zinidin zidane put on him in the was it

maserati or whatever in the world cup finals that's fact so this gianna's head butt that was

a little love tap yes one and a half games um any other i'm trying to think if there's any other nba

playoff like matchups that i guess i am excited for like the other one that everyone's gonna sell

them in is they're gonna be like luka against the Clippers. That one's going to be another one where Clippers are going to probably win in five.
Maybe Kawhi takes a game off because of his knee or whatever. I think Mike Conley's going home.
Yep. Cause birth of his child, bigger than sports, way bigger than sports.
So Denver, Utah, which, as we've said, should be played at altitude.

Or at least if it's a Utah home game,

they should allow one or two of those synthetic fans on the screens

to be yelling very harmless cuss words.

Yeah, Chris Paul versus the Rockets.

Yes, Chris Paul versus the Rockets.

Russell Westbrook, who's I don't think playing game one versus the Thunder.

That will be fantastic.

Either way, just day basketball.

Shout out the NBA. I don't even know if they had a choice because they didn't want to run concurrent games, but I was nervous for a while going into the playoffs that they wouldn't do these afternoon games.
They're doing them for the first round. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
Well, they've got to step it up because hockey in the first round had so many like double, triple overtime games, which sucks, by the way, if you're at work and you're trying to pretend that you're working and not watching hockey and then you end up staying like three hours late and your boss is like wow you're really working hard you're like no it's the fifth overtime that's happening right yes um all right so the only other uh news that i had is uh big 10 football is definitely going to come back yeah for sure so there's a petition yeah there's a change that work a petition. Justin Fields started one.
It's up to like 200,000 signatures right now. I would say conservatively I've signed it 75 times.
Well, they should do it. Whichever team has the most players sign it, that's the Big Ten champion.
Yeah, I've just been – anyone who says anything mean to me on Twitter today, I've just been taking their Twitter handle and just signing the petition for them. Yeah, the Big Ten season.
Juicing those numbers. This season is going to consist of a couple more schedule releases that get canceled and then this petition that goes out.
You're still very much in the bargaining stage. Oh, yeah.
No, the fact that this petition has 200,000 signatures and people are starting to be like, what? It's kind of like whenever there's a change.org, like change.org, let's end racism. Well, this might actually do it.
It has a change.org. Let's bring back football.
Has a change.org petition ever accomplished anything? I don't think it has. I don't know.
I like the one that's take Kylie Jenner out of the WAP music video. There we go.
Agreed. How do you even do that? Delete the snacking video.
What if there was a bubble for fans? This is still bargaining right now. What if Wisconsin fans hypothetically could sign up and be like, hey, if you let us go into games, we will bubble ourselves.
Can you imagine the environment that would be 90,000 LSU fans just camped out in Baton Rouge? Yes. What if, now, okay, let's talk about solutions instead of excuses like John Taffer.
What if there was a rule saying that the SEC could have fans at games if those fans... If those fans...
Well, a lot of teams are saying that they're not. Yeah, I feel like they're gonna...
I feel like the SEC is just gonna fucking have a schedule. Like, they're gonna play college football like nothing has changed.
Okay, so I'll put it this way. A lot of NFL teams have already said no fans in stadiums.
What if they said you can come attend games if we shoot you up with this vaccine? From Russia. And then we monitor you.
So in reality, it would be like a real-world application of vaccine test. Yes.
And what up, Billy? You're saying that the people that they test the vaccine on are going to be the only people allowed to go to games? Yeah. And here's the thing.
Even if it's like an SEC school, which probably doesn't, a lot of their fans don't want to get a vaccine. What if you said you could attend games if you got this vaccine? I guarantee you a lot of people would change their minds

immediately. I would.
I'd take it right now.

Right this second. I'll chance it.

You know it's true. Absolutely.

I'd take it. No questions asked.

I'd sign a waiver. I'd take the Russian one.

If you give me some Russian vaccine, you're like,

but this will make sure that football happens?

Yeah. In.
So in.

Bubbles are the answer to everything, Billy.

Yes. Why don't you realize that? They should just put the

USA in a bubble. Yeah, they should put the world in a

bubble. Yeah, okay.
Boom. Done.
World

I don't you realize that? They should just put the USA in a bubble. Yeah, they should put the world in a bubble.
Yeah, okay. Boom.
Done. World in a bubble.
COVID solved. Mm-hmm.
Everyone has to get tested, wear a mask, bubble. Yep.
Done. Boom.
And this concludes our segment, Our Heads Are in the Sand. Yes.
But I would say there's a 10% chance that I think that this fucking stupid petition online is going to actually change something and when I say 10% obviously I mean like 60% so as far as the commissioner of the Big Ten it's 100% going to happen I think he just basically he wants to say we don't know there's a lot of stuff that I don't know and I'm scared to death of getting sued dude Dude, his son is playing for Texas A&M. Yeah.
It's going to happen. Everyone sign the petition.
Do your fucking job. Sign the petition.
Sign it for your dog. Sign it for your neighbor.
Sign the petition. I think if we get to a million, they have no choice but to play Big Ten football.
It's called change.org. We're here making positive changes.
Let's fucking do it. All right, let's get to who's back of the week.
I bet Sean McVay would just cut up all of his shirts to donate them as masks for all the LA Rams fans. Yes.
No more shirts. Whoops.
Oh, I'm going to just show my abs real quick. All right, PFT, before we get to who's back of the week, you've got a quick ad.
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All right, who's back of the week? Hank, you're back. I actually forgot we talked how we missed this at the beginning.
Alex Smith is back. Oh, yeah.
He is back. Dude.
Can we just say, please stop spraying slippery liquids around Alex Smith's feet. They put up a video of Alex Smith and his family celebrating the fact that he was returned to play football again.

And he doesn't look like he could play football.

His leg.

I think I could play football better than he could play football.

He couldn't avoid the rush of his five-year-old spraying Dasani on him. on him.
And then they put out pictures of his leg, and it's, like, disturbing. It's not good.
His leg is in basically a forever cast right now. He doesn't go anywhere without that, like, AI-style compression sleeve that goes from his ankle to his testicles.
And I guess it's, like, keep germs out of his leg, like, as much as possible. But I want him to play, but I don't

want him. I want to see him out

there. Be happy.
But I don't.

Alex, please. What

doctor cleared him?

The Redskins team doctor.

The Washington football team doctor.

I also just love that everyone

just saw that red meat of

auto-retweets just tweeting like, Alex Smith broke his leg two years ago this day. Best thing you'll see all day.
Thought he was going to get amputated. Now he's cleared to 7,000 retweets.
I saw that tweet 1,700 times. Yeah, it's like Ryan Shazier walking out to midfield to flip a coin.
They're like, the doctors have cleared him. Isn't this a great story? I don't know, Jim.
He also almost broke his ankle in the flip-flop. Do you see that? That would have been...
I mean, that objectively would have been hilarious if he had just broke his ankle like his other ankle celebrating coming back. And his kids create a slippery driveway and he just shatters his leg yeah his other leg that would have been one of the funniest videos of all time i'm comfortable saying keep all liquids away from alex smith's leg at all costs don't even pee on your feet alex smith in the shower oh man don't shower yeah i i don't think you can just sponge yourself well it's not a cast it's like it's like a that he wears, but it also is a constant reminder that, like, hey, that leg's fucked up.
Yes. Very fucked up.
He's got, like, the black patch that NBA players wear on their jerseys just in remembrance of his leg. Yes.
Or a P-fibia. What else you got? My other who's back was cancel culture.
These people will stop at nothing until everyone in the world is canceled, and last week they got my boy Genghis Khan oh let the guy die in peace he only killed like a third of the population don't exaggerate I'm part of the problem but we did get people saying like hey Genghis Khan had some good ideas without him we would not be in the place that we are what were you saying billy you were something about they're saying that he set up a system of checks and balances in government and well yeah i'll murder you if you say anything bad about well i'll either fuck you or murder you you choose like there's something like seven percent of the population has his y chromosome which is actually pretty insane it wasn't there the argument that he actually helped in global warming because he killed so many people yes live long enough to become you know it's like uh what's the um well it's no little girl greta now it's like greta and genghis khan if basically the same if you're dead long enough you'll also become a villain again so live long enough uh die young enough to be a hero or live long enough to see yourself become a villain, but then you die and then you get good again and then you get bad again once Twitter gets invented. Dude, free Genghis.
Free Genghis. Cancelled.
Not all cons. They spread horses.
What? Horses got spread because of the Mongols. Okay.
No one rode horses. I mean, them.
The use of them? Yeah, the use of them. And they probably left some horses when they left, so horses.
Okay, so Secretary would not exist without Genghis Khan. Barbaro, the Alex Smith of horses, would not have existed without Genghis Khan.
Alright, PFT, your who's back. My who's back of the week is Kyle Slaughter.
Oh, yeah. That's right, my little hobby horse.
I fucking love Kyle Slaughter. He is the epitome.
Every team has this quarterback, the quarterback that is the best preseason quarterback of all time, and you always think in the back of your head, like, this guy could be a superstar if only everybody else saw him, what I'm seeing in him. I think he's thrown 11 touchdowns, one interception, like 1,100 passing yards.
He has the highest preseason completion percentage of any quarterback ever, I'm pretty sure. And I think he's going to your Bears.
But there's no preseason. But there's no preseason this year.
So we're finally going to get to see what Slaughter will be like in a non-preseason environment. Are we in the trust tree right now? Sure.
I saw a slow-mo video. Mitch Trubisky looks awesome.
There you go. There you go.
He does. It was a fucking perfect spiral.
Oh. It was a perfect spiral.
I feel good. We also got our first taste of Joe Burrow in a Bengals uniform.
Yes. Throwing like a six-yard slant to A.J.
Green. Love it.
Looked awesome. Yes.
The ball was a spiral. Pat's going on.
It was slow-mo. That's all it takes to make your quarterback look awesome.
When I saw this I want to fuck that spiral. I was like, oh my God.
He hit him in stride. There was no defense being played, but that doesn't matter.
In stride. Perfect spiral.

Just gonna say it. There you go.
So Mitchell's back.

Hey, 2020. Weird shit's happened.

Let's do it. Maybe because of the

pressure that Slaughter's putting on him from

behind, both him and Nick Foles.

Imagine if Mitch Risky won

the MVP.

What?

Why was that laugh?

Why was that a laugh?

Oh, no. Something completely separate.

I was thinking about

Thank you. What? Why was that laugh? Why was that a laugh? Oh, no.
Something's completely separate. I believe in Mitch.
I was thinking about Mitch, totally. Any other who's back? Yeah, bar fights are back.
There was a bar fight on my street this weekend, which is fucking sweet because it's like, yes, we haven't had any bar fights since lockdown started. That's a major watershed moment.
What do you mean? Yeah, it was like 12 people. I got a notification on my little neighborhood app.
Oh, what's up, Karen? Karen, big time Karen. Oh, shit.
Are you running towards the fight? Are you snitching on people? Yeah, so no. You fucking Karen.
Then I went outside and I walked Leroy around the corner and there was like shattered glass everywhere and there were police officers. It was like, yes, this is fucking sweet nature's here.
Wow. Did you give a statement? I did not give a statement.
You probably offered. You're like, oh, oh, please.
I hung around. Let me say something.
I hung around for a second to see if there was going to be news cameras showing up. Then I'd be like, no, I heard this fight.
I came right downstairs and he was like, whoa, what's going on? All right, see you guys later. All right, my who's back is Mark Jackson.
Mark Jackson is back. So the Bulls fired Jim Boylan on Friday, which I got to give a shout-out to Jim Boylan because as terrible of a coach that he is, and he is truly, truly terrible.
Like, never has anyone been less qualified for a job than Jim Boylan. I still will miss him because he's on this podcast.
Yeah, that's true. No, Billy is more qualified to be on this podcast than Jim Boylan was to coach an NBA team.
That's a bold statement. Thank you.
Jim Boylan. I'm going to miss him still because of his quotes about soul, his quotes about growth plates, his random timeouts, the time that he burned all his timeouts with like six minutes left in the fourth quarter, the time he did hockey shifts, the time that he had the Bulls do a practice after a back-to-back, and then the team had a mutiny, and then he had a leadership committee.
What about the time card punch-ins? The time card punch-ins. There's so many moments.
I do want to just say one quote that sums up the essence of Jim Boylan. I forgot about this.
I saw it retweeted on my timeline. In 2019, he must have, I don't know where he was or what was going on.
Well, I guess I know what was going on. Earthquake.
Jim Boylan, talking about earthquakes, said, I just think it's awesome, the power of nature, to think that something can move that building that much. It's awe-inspiring to me.
So that just tells you what he is. Jim Boylan, there would be an earthquake,

and he would just stand underneath the building being like,

watch this building topple.

He's going to be sick.

And then die.

I like that.

He's fascinated by nature.

It's like that insane clown posse song about magnets.

Yeah.

Like, holy fuck. Jim Boylan.

People don't take time to think about nature's small miracles,

but Jim Boylan does.

Jim Boylan.

So Jim Boylan is fired. I don't know who the Bulls are going to hire, but also the Pelicans fired Alvin Gentry.
So Mark Jackson is now going to be talked about, and I think I heard it correctly that he said Zion was his rookie of the year over the weekend, which is awesome because it's just such a shill move by a guy who's been calling Zion fat all year to then have the Pelicans fire Alvin Gentry and him being like, this Zion kid, he's good. Listen, Mark Jackson knows how to get a job.
Right. And keep a job, usually.
That's one thing that he's very, very good at. I think Mark Jackson realizes that the longer he stays announcing, someone's going to be like, hey, we should probably be done with Mark Jackson as the announcer.
So he knows that it's time to get a job as a coach. I hope to God it's not with the Bulls, but I do hope to God it is with the Pelicans because I'd love to just watch that.
Him ruin Zion and everyone be like, what the fuck? And then Zion will win an NBA title the minute Mark Jackson got fired. Right.
This is how dog brains in America work. We see somebody on TV long enough talking about a sport and we think that they are capable now of coaching that sport at a high level.
Oh, I don't think anyone thinks Mark Jackson's capable. Oh, he's started to convince people he's going to get a job.
No, but that doesn't mean anyone thinks he's capable. That just means that idiots in a front office are just going with a name.
Right, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, but they know he's not capable.
But that's what we think. It's like we see somebody on TV enough and they become an expert.
And so, I mean, you forget. Mark Jackson assembled that Golden State Warriors team.
Kevin Durant would not have a ring if it weren't for Mark Jackson. He really did.
He put in the culture that ended up winning those titles. Billy, you're who's back.
Lacrosse. Okay.
The PLL just happened. Right, right, right.
But Chris Hogan just signed with the Jets his fourth AFC East team, meaning that we're going to hear lacrosse be brought up in every Jets broadcast. That's true.
Yeah, so. Got to collect them all.
I like that. I like that he's played for every single team in that division now.
He knows all the secrets. Billy, do you want to talk about going to jail this weekend? I did not go to jail this weekend.
Billy got arrested on Thursday night. Yep.
I did not get arrested. It was weird because you were up drunk tweeting until like 1130 midnight, and then you didn't tweet for 16 hours.
And your first tweet back was, if you mix pre-workout tequila, 100% chance you go to jail. 100% chance.
I did not go to jail. So you didn't mix pre-workout and tequila? No, I didn't because you'd go to jail.
Oh, okay. So that was the thought.
You just took a little hiatus? You went zero dark 30 on Friday? Yeah. Just out of coincidence? Can you guys give me a break? I'm mourning the loss of my frog.
Yeah, what happened? That was the thought. You just took a little hiatus.
You went zero dark 30 on Friday. Yeah.
Just out of coincidence.

Can you guys give me a break?

I'm mourning the loss of my frog.

Yeah.

What happened?

That was a very graphic thing to put on Twitter.

Just randomly raw dogging a dead frog in our face.

Well, RIP.

But why?

RIP Bertha.

Maybe like a trigger war.

His name was Bertha?

Her name was Bertha.

Yeah.

You sure it was a girl?

Yes, I'm sure it was a girl. How did you find out? Because the female African-Clawed frogs are larger than the males.
Anyway. Did you touch Bertha's pussy? No, I didn't.
Did you look at it? They don't have that. Be honest with me.
No, that's really messed up. You did not touch Bertha's pussy.
This has not happened. You know what? I got arrested.
I got arrested.

I got arrested.

That's what you're leaving. You'd rather fake get arrested

than fingering his frog birth.

Yeah, I got arrested.

Dude, don't put dead frogs

on the Twitter timeline.

It was R.I.P.

There's dead fish on the time.

Better or worse than when he puts

his dog's boner pictures up there.

No, my dog.

They're funny.

My dog always has a boner.

It's all there is.

Yeah, because you keep fingering frogs in front of them.

No, I don't.

It's all fucked up, bro.

Why wouldn't he be horny?

How old was your frog?

It's a suck and fuck lair in Billy's little basement.

I'm not 100% sure, but I had it for five years.

Okay.

Five years?

That feels like a long time to own a frog.

It's longer than skipping Stephen A lasted.

That's true. We don't deserve frogs.
A lot of frog sex Jesus Christ come on No the frog sex stuff's a little far A little far She just died Do you think she's at peace? Yes Do you feel a little bit responsible for not feeding her on Thursday night Through Friday afternoon When you were in prison? Who's not in jail?

It would be hilarious

Do you have a frog

contingency plan on if you do get arrested?

Who takes care of your animals?

The frogs can go without food for a couple days.

That's one of the reasons why I don't

go to prison is that

I want to get home to my animals.

So it's actually

the only reason I have not gone to prison is the animals. So you can thank them.
Man. All right.
RIP Bertha. I do feel bad.
Sorry for your loss, Billy. Thank you.
Everyone, please say sorry for Billy's loss on Twitter tomorrow. Thank you.
And don't say that he fingered his frog. Oh, come on.
All right. Let's get to our interview.
Actually, that's better than Soy Boy. That's better don't know.
I don't know. Are you sure? I don't know.
We'll see. Bestiality? No.
Yeah. It's got the word beast in it, though.
Beast. Beast.
If you're going to say Billy practices bestiality, capitalize the beast. Yeah.
If it was called berserk reality, Billy would be using that thing as a fleshlight. Just capitalize the beast.
That's all we want. All right, let's get to our interviews.
We got Joe Montana and then Akon right after. Before we get to Joe Montana, you know everything about your favorite team and how they're dealing with the pandemic.
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Go to whoop.-h-o-o-p.com enter code take a checkout save 15 off we're telling you right now we've been using it find out what you're doing with your sleep find out what you're doing with your training get in tune with your body train better sleep better with whoop whoop.com promo code take 15 off at checkout sleep better recover faster and train smarter optimize your performance with whoop today okay here he is Joe Montana okay we now welcome on very very special guest he is an NFL Hall of Famer four-time Super Bowl winner undefeated in the Super Bowl it is Joe Montana. He's here with Guinness because Guinness is proud to announce their new partnership and official beer of the Notre Dame Fighting Irish alumni and fans.
Joe obviously is a very famous alum from Notre Dame. So thank you for joining us, Joe.
I love Guinness, by the way. So I think you might send us some free ones, and I'm ready for that.
You know what? I think you're too late. They're already on the way, I believe.
Let's go. So you'll be able to enjoy some more.
A common misconception about Guinness is that it's a fall and wintertime drink. It's a year-round drink.
I like Guinness no matter the weather. Yes.
Well, I fell in love with it when we were over actually in Dublin. Our girls were jumping and talked us into going over there and looking at horses.
And the one trainer said, hey, when they're done trying horses, let's go get a pint of Guinness. And I said, okay, sounds good to me.
And then next thing you know, every day after that, I'm going, hey, Charlie, isn't it time? i think it's time for guinness we might be a little behind here no it hits different over there yeah i've been a fan ever since and it's great being a part of this partnership yeah with notre dame and i think it's two great traditions getting together to do some great things so let's talk quickly about notre dame we're going to talk about everything else, but are you – how optimistic, pessimistic do you feel that Notre Dame is going to be playing football this year? Well, you know, I was just talking to one of the guys from the Chicago Tribune, and I said, you're probably closer to that. What's happening? What do you hear? And he said that – I guess the doctor from Duke came out and said that, hey, they can go give it a try.
And I go, even if they do, what is college football going to be like without some of these conferences not playing? I mean, what are you going to do? Watch the same conference every, you know, I don't know how they run college football, NCAA football without having them all run it. I don't know why the NCAA didn't make a decision as an umbrella as opposed to letting everybody make their own decision.
Because what's college football? I mean, I'm not – you know, as Notre Dame, you hate Michigan. But what do you do without the Big Ten or the Pac-12? I mean, Notre Dame, SC, geez.
Yeah, yeah. I don't know.
yeah yeah it's going to be different hopefully they can the acc can figure out a way to to make it happen in in the fall but from like a student athlete perspective i feel like it's going to be one of those things where you get in and they're going to wait until the last minute to make a decision because they're kind of running out the clock you know they don't know what the science is going to look like two weeks from now three weeks from now I have to imagine that that's going to be in the back of all these kids heads as they're preparing like they're learning a new playbook they're learning these systems but they're also still thinking like this could all just be a big waste of time well I think the one thing that you want to do if you're a player if you're going to have a season you want to make sure that you're still prepared and I think the best way to do that is you know stay in involved with the team if they're if the teams are allowed to be together or even on your own so and a lot of those guys have aspirations to make it to the NFL right and so if the season doesn't happen you still have to stay in shape because the NFL will probably figure out some way to you, have a few more combines to try to be able to look at guys.

And, you know, you feel bad for some of those seniors because if you look at it,

if you take a look at Joe Burrows, right,

if Joe Burrows doesn't have a senior year, he's not the first big draft.

So you never know who's going to be that surprise bust out guys that, you know,

just increase their marketability to the NFL.

And, you know, who wants to miss their last season and to have it to go this way? Yeah. A lot of seniors are playing their last time of football.
And it's sad to see, you know, having been a part of that all my life, it's sad to see that they won't have that opportunity. did you curse the green jerseys at notre dame you know i grew up with notre dame being blue and gold and there was so much excitement around the green i don't remember my initial reaction when we were told i'm i'm pretty sure divine pulled the captains in and told them told us what was going to happen um but that was after we went to the pep rally the night before and and he kept talking about wearing green wearing green and like we're wearing blue man why won't we wear blue and then it kind of filled us in and then uh you know there was a lot of excitement in the locker room so you kind of joined in and you know you know what it is they'll whatever it takes yeah we went on having pretty good years so they stuck around for a while but but they i feel like notre dame wearing the green jersey uh the last like 20 years they haven't won a big game the green jerseys have flipped they went from a mighty duck story where uh you know you guys you guys warm up in one jersey go the locker room, put on the green jerseys, everyone's pumped, beat USC, to now whenever Notre Dame wears the green jersey, I'm sitting there like they got no shot.
I hadn't noticed that, but you're probably right. I don't know.
I'll have to mention that to them. Maybe they don't even know what's happening.
Yes. Yeah, I hadn't noticed that, but yeah, I'd get rid of them then.
Yeah. So I was – I think college uniforms are fun though.
Yes. You need to have a little more fun with theirs a little bit.
Do you like the metallic helmet or are you more of a fan of like the matte gold? You know what? Seeing the metallic one up in close in person, they're spectacular looking. And I like the shininess.
Yeah, I don't mind the upgrade of the gold. The matte's still nice, but why not have a bunch of options? Everybody else does.
Yeah. I was looking back at your history here.
You were a teammate of Rudy's at Notre Dame? Rudy? I don't know who that is. Rudy.
My question was going to be, how much do the guys that actually played on that team resent Rudy for totally taking the storyline of how good that team was, and now everyone can only talk about Rudy from now on? Well, I won't lie. He got a rash and a crap every time we saw saw him and he quit showing up on a couple of places because it's pretty well you know the locker room's pretty brutal anyway but you know i mean the rudy story made a great made a great movie and a lot of it was embellished and you know we when i run into rudy on the road here and there we laugh about it because you know he knows that knows that I tell the truth.
And there were a lot of things that happened. Yeah, he got in, he got a sack.
Was the crowd chanting? No. Did I throw in my jersey? No.
So did he get carried off the field? He got carried off by three of the biggest pranksters on the team. And they, who said, I wish, had we known no one had gotten carried off.
We'd have never done it, but they were always, you know, Rudy worked hard. I won't lie.
He is a walk on. He came in and got his butt kicked every day.
And it was great to see that he got in and got a sack and a lifetime memory for him. And it became a movie but you know it's like a lot of movies they all get their movies every time somebody says tell me about rudy i go nah you really want to know about rudy oh don't tell me it's not true don't tell me i go made a good movie but you know there are a lot of truths and then but there's a lot of things that didn't happen yeah when you sat down with bill walsh for the first time did you know right away that like this guy just sees the game differently and what he's got going on is a different level of any kind of football i've played yeah by far i mean right away from day one in the meetings when you're speaking to him and and you could tell he was different but when you got him in front of a chalkboard or the whiteboard and you know and he started drawing up plays and talking about progressions and blitzes and reads and it was different than anything i'd had to that point yeah yeah i knew i was i was in someplace special at that time and um and i was just trying to stay there as long as I could.
Yeah, yeah. Do you ever look back, you know, judging by era is interesting in the NFL because the games evolve so much.
Do you ever do like a projection in your head of what your touchdowns and yards would look like in 2020 if you were prime Joe Montana and all the rules were slanted towards the offense? No, because I don't want to get mad. Yeah, that's smart.
Yeah, no, I just, you know, we talk about how, you know, the rule change makes it easier. And I always say, yeah, it does make it easier when you can stand there and know that you're not going to get smacked.
Because that used to be what separated everybody back then is who can stay in that pocket, stand there knowing there's a guy running right down the middle of you, and as soon as you release this ball, you're going to get planted in the back. Can you throw it accurately? And that was the separator for most teams, for most quarterbacks.
And, you know, they don't have to deal with that today. And does it make it easier? Yeah, somewhat.
Game's still difficult. But for someone at that level, it makes it a little bit easier.
It is crazy, though, to see, like, in 1980, let's see. Oh, no.
So you were throwing, like, 500, 400 passes a season, 400 passes a season, which really only comes out to like, I don't know, it's like 24, 25 pass attempts. Like you don't see that really in the NFL today.
And you had you know, you had a season where you led the league in touchdowns with 31 touchdowns. That's that's probably like the seventh or eighth guy now in 2020 because of the stats being so inflated.
Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, as a quarterback, you'd love to be playing now. You know, the rules kind of want you to put the ball in the air.
And, you know, with the group that we had when I left, the 49ers with Jerry and John Taylor and Brent Jones and that group, you know, it's hard to say what could happen. You know, we probably, John Taylor would have probably caught a lot more balls because we'd be throwing a lot more.
And, you know, I always feel bad for John because here you are playing across from a guy like Jerry Rice and you're running like double comebacks and you're going John Taylor, John Taylor taylor ah shit jerry rice you look over there john taylor's wide open and you talk and john never said a word i mean he never complained but i mean he's he's a freak yeah i mean he went twice i mean he's one of the only two guys that ever go 95 yards twice in one game for touchdowns. And he just had a unique ability to make people miss.
And within two steps, he's full speed. And I don't know.
You know, I feel bad that we didn't, you know, target him a little bit more. I'm glad to see you caught a touchdown in the Super Bowl to win.
You know, it makes you feel good. And then Jerry wins the MVP the MVP.
Yeah, it would be fun to have that group today.

Bill felt that if we threw the ball into the 30s, we were going to lose.

That was philosophy, yeah.

Interesting.

It's like completely reversed now.

Yeah.

So Bill actually said this about you.

He said there was something hypnotic about him,

that look when he was dropping back.

He was poetic in his movements, almost sensuous everything's so fluid so much under control did did you turn bill walsh on when you were playing quarterback would you like look at him and catch him like biting his lip and just watching film with you no you know the one thing he demanded was the footwork was like a big thing for him. And that how you drop back, how you hit that last step,

whether it's stepping up into the pocket or hitting and that back foot and

letting it go. He wanted it a certain way.
And, you know,

I think I'd fit into what he envisioned as doing the things the right way.

And we, we worked on those fundamentals every day. I mean, I thought I was done with fundamentals long before that, but God was stressed every day by him, footwork, footwork, footwork.
If I hear bend your knees one more time, I have nightmares over it. You know, you make a bad throw and the first thing he'd say, you straighten your knees.
You know, he was always the little things that made a difference and more that, you know, in how accurate you could be with the ball. He felt it was all driven from your waist down.
What's your favorite John Candy movie? Uncle Buck. That's the right answer.
Correct answer. I'm sure you've been asked this a million times about the famous John Candy moment in right before you lead the team on a 92-yard drive in the Super Bowl in the fourth quarter with three minutes left, you say to the huddle, hey, look, there's John Candy over there.
And everyone looks and sees John Candy eating popcorn in the front row. So my question is going to be a little maybe different, but were you always Joe cool? Were you always unflappable like that? was the game kind of always slow for you or was that something you,

uh, Were you always Joe cool? Were you always unflappable like that? Was the game kind of always slow for you? Or was that something you learned through the years and were able to gain as a skill? I think the one thing Bill taught me was like when you get into Sunday, when you're going into Sunday, I think it's like taking a test, you know, in school. When you walk in to take a test in school, you're nervous if you haven't done your homework and prepared for that test, right? But if you go in there prepared, yeah, you might still be nervous about the test a little bit, but it's not the same.
It's not that, oh my God, what am I going to get? What am I going to do? It's more about, am I going to get an A or a B? And that's kind of his preparation was for perfection. He wanted any mistakes, and especially from the quarterback side of it.
And he wanted you every day to come to practice like it was a game and try to be perfect, try to complete 100% of your passes. He wanted the ball 12 inches in front of the numbers.
He wanted guy running a hook he goes you can see where the defender is throw the ball in the opposite number until that was a signal to that guy the receiver to turn that direction so he doesn't turn and get hit in the face going the other way and so he he demanded accuracy and perfection in that position and if you go back and look whether, whether it was me, Steve Young, Steve DeBerg, Steve Bono, you know, you don't see a lot of our guys diving and jumping for balls very often, you know, on a rare occasion. But that's because he demanded that kind of, you know, perfection of the quarterback.
He goes, I want you basically to hand the ball to those guys. Yeah.
Interesting.. If you can take care of all the details and be confident in your preparation, then you're not going to have as much stuff to worry about on Sunday.
You go out there and you have fun. You can go see John Candy in the front row.
Now, is that move really just to calm down your huddle? Or were you actually starstruck by John Candy? No, I had met with John a couple times. They tried to get me to go to Canada a number of years before that.
But the thing was really for Harris Barton. Harris Barton was a people person.
So every night during the Super Bowl, we were free for dinner before and during the week. And Harris was like a little kid.
He'd come back and and tell you what celebrities he saw and he was so excited and so tv timeouts are like eight minutes or I don't know how long they're really long in the Super Bowl and so I've been gone to the sideline once maybe even twice and just standing there and all of a sudden between Harris's shoulders and the tight end John Candy was framed and I didn't remember Harris saying anything about John Candy, and we were still waiting for the signal to start. So I went over to Harris and said, hey, H, man, look, this is John Candy.
He looked over the sideline, and he started mumbling a bunch of stuff about Super Bowl. I couldn't understand half of it.
We're trying to win Super Bowl and John Candy. You're looking at John Candy.
Talk to me about John Candy. I thought he would appreciate it.
Yeah. But I think he appreciates it today more than he did back then.
But no, I was just trying – I was just being myself. And, you know, we're getting ready to run a two-minute offense that I know, you know, we've done a million times and we've done it against probably the toughest time every Thursday of every week

when we run it against our own defense, our first defense.

So I wasn't concerned about it.

We only really needed a field goal anyway just to tie.

That's true.

We got the touchdown.

So Big Cat mentioned your nickname, Joe Cool.

I don't think it's fair that your name is joe montana your nickname is joe cool and you also have another nickname the comeback kid that's like you have three hog them all very cool names and it's just like hey man save some for the rest of us well it was funny when they always were trying to give me nicknames and the one somebody said i said I already had a nickname in Joe Montana. What I needed was a real name.
And they sent me a plaque, a name plaque from my locker said David W. Gibson.
Just like a normal Joe name. Yeah.
Just a normal name, yeah. But, I mean, Joe Montana is, you have definitely had that moment where you're like, I obviously am a tremendous talent, had four Super Bowls, Hall of Famer, but that extra, like, 1% of allure is because of the name Joe Montana.
Well, thank you. Oh, my parents would be proud then.
Can you imagine being a GM and you have an option of who to draft and Joe Montana is one of the options, you're like, no, I think I'm going to pass.

If you're Joe Smith, I don't know if Guinness is doing a deal with you right now.

To be honest, the four Super Bowls are cool, but you're not Joe Montana.

Well, thank you. I appreciate that.

So it's interesting. There's the John Candy story,

but I think the more popular celebrity sighting that you had

in one of your big games is at the catch.

Do you know who was there at the catch?

I don't recall. Chris Berman.
You don't remember seeing Chris Berman in the corner of the end zone? Boomer. Chris Berman.
Look at all that hair he had back then. Tom Brady also there.
Tom Brady was there, but that's an afterthought. Boomer was there.
How much more shine do you think that moment has gotten becauseris berman brings it up like four times a year and plays the replay of him standing right there well he's a huge huge 49er fan and a big and a great friend of mr duvarlo so so i'm sure um he loves putting it up there and just the energy he brings i love you know still to this day it's he's been around a long time, and he's been a good friend also at the same time. He's fun to listen to, especially when the baseball one hit in the home run.
Yes, yes. That throw, you kind of just threw it up there, right? Dwight Clark made the play.
You just were like, I hope this works. Well, Dwight was supposed to set a pick for Freddie Solomon, and Freddie actually fell down.
Until that play, we had never thrown it to Dwight, and his job really at that point is he realized what happened, and he has to get to the back of the end zone and then slide back towards the pylon in the back, and I'm supposed to throw it above his head, and if he misses it, it goes out of bounds. And when I let it go, I got knocked down.
But as I let it go, the first part of it felt like, ah, it was going to be a little above his head, maybe a little jump. And I didn't imagine it was that high.
And when I hit the ground and I heard the crowd roar,

I figured, ah, touchdown.

That kind of was what I thought.

Until I got to the sideline and our equipment manager said to me,

boy, your buddy saved your ass that time.

I couldn't talk about it.

He goes, he jumped out of the stadium.

Yeah.

Catch that.

I go, he's white.

He can't jump. It is the catch, not catch not the throw I mean it was an unbelievable catch I'm trying to get him to change it to the throw because without the throw you wouldn't have made a catch but he wasn't going for it that's got to be such a cool moment to get like smashed by a linebacker or lineman and not see the end of the play but just hear the crowd roar, yep, we did it.
Yeah. You know, unfortunately there are a number of times where as you let the ball go, you get, you don't see a lot of it.
And, you know, you make the mistake on occasion to try to watch it. And two things usually happen.
Well, one, it typically happens. Somehow you get hurt.
I got tired of getting whiplash in my head because I'm trying to watch, and as you're watching, the last thing you did is your head on the turf or first game in Tampa when I was with the Chiefs. I threw a post pattern to J.J.
Burden, and I'm trying to watch it. And I got hit, and I put my hands back, and I ended up like chipping a bone in my wrist, and then he dropped it.
So I was going, dang, I don't mind getting hit, but catch it, please. But it is.
It's kind of crazy. The game's fun and hopefully something happens with it and we can watch it, sit back, enjoy a nice pint of Guinness at the time and hopefully football will be back..
But, you know, just like we all say, this partnership between Notre Dame and Guinness is something special, a lot of tradition behind it, heading in the same direction, looking for a lot of the same goals and movement, not only in sports but around the country and trying to make the place a better place for all of us. Yeah.
You know what I really miss right now? I miss going into a bar, into a pub and ordering a Guinness and drinking it inside. It feels like it's been years since I've done that.
I need that back. It's not fall until that happens.
It was nice when I was in Kansas City Art Center. Oh, Tim Grunhart, another Notre Dame, he.
He had an Irish pub, so we'd always end up down there. That's nice.
So when you went to Kansas City, it kind of correlates a little bit to what Tom Brady's going through right now. He had a lot of success with his first team.
He's synonymous with the Patriots. I think a lot of people would say you're synonymous with the 49ers.
When you get to Kansas City, do you find yourself in a position where you have to kind of reestablish yourself as the man? Or was there any sort of like kind of breaking in period where you, you know, you were working to win over those new teammates? I think one of the things that happens is when you go to a new team like that, the first thing they want to see,

first, your personality when you get in the locker room.

The other for acceptance is when you get on the field,

they want to see what makes you different.

I was just looking at some stuff because we were filming some things here.

They had Carl Peterson talking about our first seven on seven. and he said i don't think the ball hit the ground and i'm sitting there at seven on seven hopefully it never hits the ground on seven seven but um you know it's something that i guess it sounded like they hadn't seen before in a long time and you know you you slowly work your way into the acceptance and, you know, the first training camp and, you know, playing golf in the afternoon or at lunchtime with the guys and hurry up and run over there and play like four or five holes before we had to go back to practice.
But, you know, it just takes doing the things and, you know, just for acceptance into that. But someone like Tom, you know, he won't have a problem.
His personality lends itself to easy acceptance and obviously what he's been able to accomplish. And, well, they've got a good team down there with the defense and the numbers they put up offensively.
And then you add him and that crazy man Gronk into the mix.

Who knows what's going to happen.

Yeah.

All right, so I had one last question, Joe.

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Four Super Bowls, big-time college football games, a storied Hall of Fame career. Is there one game or one moment that you find yourself daydreaming about or dreaming about that you go back into and it's that one memory that's seared into your brain that you always go back to I think I was playing I want to say it was the 80 88 season I can never remember the year too many hits in the head I think but we were playing Philadelphia in Philadelphia when Buddy Ryan was there and you know we we were going into the game and everybody was saying how you know we're we're not big enough and we're a finesse team.
We can't handle the pressure and the power and the physical part of the game that they bring the Eagles brought to us at that time. And, you know, the first play, I think the first series, we get a blitz and I hit Jerry for about 60, maybe 70 yards for a touchdown.
And I'm sitting there thinking, oh, this is going to be easier than I thought. And then from that point on, I never picked myself up off the ground more times through a game in my life.
And, you know, we got behind and we were fortunate. We scored a bunch of touchdowns in the fourth quarter and they'd come back to beat them back there.
And that's one that always sticks in within, mainly because we were ahead and we was third and five or third and three, and we sent the back out a little read route and tried to get the first down and the game would have been over. And the back's sitting there wide open.
And instead of throwing the ball to the back, you see our head coach's head go. I let it go.
I let it fly down the field to Jerry for a touchdown, and I got off the sideline. He said, well, you're lucky you completed that pass.
That's interesting, though, that it's a game that's not, you know, one of the Super Bowl wins or one of the big Notre Dame wins. That's interesting.
You know that there are some Philly fans out there that still remember that to this day. Yes.
And they hate Joe Montana and they will never allow your name to be uttered in their house because of that regular season game. Yeah, but that's probably the one.
That's awesome. Well, Joe, this has been so much fun.
We thank you. We're excited for our Guinness to get here.
Yes. And you're welcome back anytime.
I appreciate it. You guys have a good one.
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Use code PMT. Tell sent you i love these jeans i'm giving you my satisfaction guaranteed mugsy.com use code pmt at checkout okay here he is akon okay we now welcome on the legend of the game he has a new uh mixtape coming out ain't no peace it is akon akon it's great to have you on man you are a legend of the game we were actually listening to some of your songs to get us hyped for this interview um and yeah they're awesome that's kind of my first question they're fucking awesome dude uh thank you man thank you so much brother so how are you doing how when's the new mixtape uh when's it coming out what it you know can you can you tell people what they should be expecting yeah so ain't no peace actually just released it's actually on all your dp i mean um on your digital platforms as we speak right now it dropped last friday uh this this ep was it's called ain't no peace specifically because of all the social things that was that's been going on in the certainly before, you know, with all the police brutality and all the stuff that's

going on within the urban neighborhoods, you know, the miscommunication between civilians

and police officers and things of this nature.

So I kind of wanted to address some of that musically, not from a political side or hostile

side, but just from a person and a people side so people can really understand this

kind of reaction and how life is really can be taken in a small little turn on one little

Thank you. or hostile side, but just from a person in a people side.
So people can really understand this kind of reaction and how life is really can be taken in a small little turn on one little incident. So I kind of wanted to create it more from a unity standpoint to give every audience an idea and understand the characteristics between both sides to be able to hear it, but through music.
I like it. Yeah, no, that's, I think that's a good cause to be working towards.
Can you help me understand? Because just talk to me like I'm a four year old, like I'm an idiot. But I've always wondered what the differences between an EP, a mixtape, an album, and a record is.
Right. So a record and an album and an LP is all the same.
Okay.

Right. So that's just like a body of work.

An EP is like a mini version of an album.

It's like one song short from an official album. An official album is eight songs or more.
Got it. You know, and anything less than that is an EP.
So it's just like a small body of work. Right.
A mixtape is a combination of both. The only difference is a mixtape is more made for the culture.
So when make a mixtape you're not really doing it for profit you're either doing it to showcase your talent or you're doing it to spread a specific type of message got it and that's on every platform outside of dsps mixtape sites uh blog sites it could be anywhere and everything but you don't really care to monetize it because it's really more so something that just you put out for the people and for your fans i got it mixtape is like for fun i got it all right so another question like a five-year-old um how sick is it to go platinum oh dude i think especially when you don't expect to go platinum that's when it becomes sick so did you not expect to go platinum when you because you've gone platinum three times, right? Right. But you know, it's funny though, every record that I ever put out, like my first album, one, two, and three all went diamond, right? And diamond is 10 million records sold when you go diamond.
When you do 10 million or more, you go diamond. Then you got gold, which is 500,000, and platinum, which is a million.
But anything, you know, so ultimately when I first, when I first started putting records out, I was never an accolade type person. I really didn't care if I sold, I just wanted to be popular and I wanted everybody to know my songs and sing along.
Right. And I didn't even know that there were a chart or even anything.
So when they told me I went platinum, I just assumed at that time, oh, wow. So I'm known all over America.
I didn't think that platinum was a million records sold. You know what I mean? Right.
And then when I went diamond, I was like, oh, shit, so that means I'm known all over the globe. Yeah.
But then later, that means that's 10 million records sold. But the way I looked at it and the way it was actually presented, it pretty meant the same thing.
Because normally when you go platinum, that means everyone in America pretty much is hip

to what you got going on.

And by the time you go diamond, that means everybody in the globe pretty much knows your

song or heard of you.

And I read that you are also the ringtone king.

So there are more ringtones featuring Akon songs than any other artists out there.

Is there an award for that?

Do you go cellular?

Do you go 5G? At what level do you establish yourself as a ringtone king and that's actually a great question because i was getting plaques from verizon and sprint on congratulations you know a million ringtones so 10 million ringtones so then i got this big old plaque with a billion ringtones sold, and I was like, wow. But at the time, my only focus was honestly selling ringtones, because I realized that I did the numbers.
An average song, you know, you was paying $1.99 for the single on iTunes. You remember those days? Yep.
And then the ringtone was only 15 seconds of the song, but it was $4.99. Whoa.
So I did numbers. I was like, well, hold up.
You know, if $1.99 gives you a full song and $4.99 gives you 15 seconds of the song, that's shifting my whole business model. I went straight for the ringtones.
And every song I made, I made sure I did all ringtones for it. And I made sure that it was based around every time somebody called you,

that song will come on.

It did three things.

First, it made me more money.

Number two, it promoted the song because every time you hear it, it's like, who's that?

Or I got to go pick up that or I need to go listen to that.

So it always reminded people that I existed, you know?

And then the third reason was nobody really was thinking like that,

you know, at that time.

So it became something that actually came to a huge benefit. I ended up being guinness book of world records for more most ringtones sold in the world and the thing that i never gave on my digital rights i was able to really make more money just from selling ringtones that i did than my label made from selling my albums that's crazy so was there ever a song that you wrote like in and you're like you know what this song's gonna sound great in the club or the bar but it's really gonna sound great in someone's nokia like were you like we got to make sure we got to fix this so it really pops on the phones right so now the funny part about it my first album when i made those records i didn't anticipate ringtones because at that time ringtones didn't exist but by the time but what ended up happening on my first album the biggest ringtone record that was sold was mr lonely you know so but then by the time the second album came i knew that ringtones would be huge you know what i mean so the so the songs that i made on that album specifically was made for if the phone ring will be what would actually sound cool and one of them wasacked at another one was i want i want to love you that's amazing so have you written a song that is like specifically geared towards like this song is about being called on the phone oh yes i actually did that and that that was i was gonna supposed i was supposed to do a deal with samsung for that specific song on all their handhelds and then that's when the merge happened at universal and everything kind of shifted a whole something other way and i couldn't quite make the deal because universal at the time owned my masters so i kind of lost that opportunity but i was already thinking that yeah you mentioned smack that do you ever think that at somewhere somewhere in the world at any given time two strangers are grinding for the first time to smack that.
Happening. Right now.
Right now. Right this second.
Right now. Right this second.
Yep. Yep.
Yep. You're making people fall in love right now on the dance floor.
Yeah. That's what's up, man.
That's what's up. Yeah, it's true.
It's happening right now. So another part of your career that is underrated is that your eye for talent is exceptional.
You signed Lady Gaga and T-Pain before they kind of blew up. What was it or what is it that you see in people or what's that defining factor that you're like, okay, this person, they have it.
I have to be working with them man i think the it factor you can never describe is just you you just don't know until you see it and you'll be like oh shit that's it like that's it you like it's not it's so hard it's almost like an instinct like you're riding down the street and something tells you to make a left turn but then you you don't follow your instinct you make a right turn and then something bad happens and you're like damn i knew i should have made that left what my instincts told me that's how it is when finding a superstar your instinct just tells you oh shit that's a star right there you just know i don't know how to explain it i just know so you felt it when you first saw lady gaga you're like okay that's it like she's gonna be incredible oh 100 i felt from the moment i met her but then she made she confirmed it when she went in the booth to demo the song out that's when i was like oh yes this chick is a star is there somebody that you've met that you've been like i don't know and you kind of passed on them and then you saw a couple years later they blew up and you're like shit my eye wasn't right that day yep and i every day i'll be like damn how did i miss that one but it was drake oh really, no, I'm with you. I agree with you.
Wait, so what was your first introduction to Drake? You heard him, you saw him, and you're like, nope, not going to have it? No, no. Actually, this was years before I even met Drake.
I had an artist named Cardinal Ophishow, and he was also from Canada. And Cardi brought me a mixtape that he did before the – um I think the record he had was the best I ever had yeah so uh he played with a mixtape but at the time he didn't sound obviously anything like he sounds today because he sounded more like a Eminem type of rapper at that time you know what I mean and in my mind I'm like yeah he's a dope rapper but there's someone out there that kind style was super similar and was very, like, it just wasn't original enough for me.
Okay. Yeah.
I mean, yeah, looking back on it, that probably cost you tens of millions of dollars. That sucks.
I mean, you're not going to catch them all. And, you know, you really can't, you can say, predict someone's growth because everyone grows differently.
And boy, did that boy grow? Cause I mean, even I think there was a moment where Sylvia Rome thought that Trey Song was going to be bigger than Drake. You know, no one's anticipated Drake's growing the way he grew.
Like right now, he's probably one of my favorite rappers if I had to pick one. Yeah.
That's, that's wild that you've, that, that is like your coaching tree almost is that you've got Lady Gaga and all those people that have kind of like followed you along what what type of mentorship do you provide to them to like help them reach that star status well it's more so just kind of polishing and and and like injecting the confidence in what they already have because you really can't like i always i always disagree when people say well they can make people or or i made you of me, you wouldn't be who you are. I always believe that people have natural talents and you just got to help them discover that talent within themselves.
Because once they get that confident, then they can, man, they'll show you parts of them that you never even saw was even there. You know what I mean? That's what's kind of hinders artists from getting to that place is that lack of fearlessness and that lack of confidence.
I think the moment they those two parts man the sky's the limit as to how far they can go can we talk real quick about your city that you're building you're building a futurist futuristic city in uh africa that has its own cryptocurrency called a coin now right did you do this whole thing because a coin is just like the perfect name for cryptocurrency? You're like, I got to build a cryptocurrency, might as well build a city around that. Well, it was actually, it's almost in that order.
Almost in that order. So I got involved in cryptocurrency back in 2013 or 14 when I met Brock Pierce.
At the time, he was one of the biggest Bitcoin holders, and he's

very influential in the Bitcoin world,

considered to be one of the founders of

a group of other founders, but he's

super impactful in that space.

A guy named Ken

Rakowski actually

introduced me to him, so he kind of

schooled me to what it was, how it was moving,

and at that time, I saw how

digital payments were growing really fast because they were already doing it in Africa, you know, but they hadn't reached in America yet to that level. So I had kind of already understood the concept, but then when he walked me through the process of how Bitcoin worked the backend and then, you know, gave me the idea of what all blockchain meant and how it actually, you know, was impactful to the platform itself.
That's when I was like, oh, this is the solution for Africa. So I said, I got to create my own African coin.
So I called it the A coin for African coin. It just so happens.
It just so happens. Yeah.
A coin. So I was like, this was meant for me.
This is perfect. You know what I mean? It all kind of rolled together.
But then if you have a coin all and mine is a utilization utilization coin so i have to have something you can utilize it towards right you can't have a coin and you can't spend it or you can't use it towards anything of value so my whole idea is i want to tokenize not only the entrepreneurs all throughout africa and the and the resources that africa already has to give but something on their everyday basic everyday life because we started to realize that you can go to certain parts of villages and people were using their cell phone minutes as currency. Like they would go in and buy some fish and then transfer like maybe 10 minutes of cell phone minutes for the purchase of that.
That's how crazy and how, you could say, how unconfident they were of the local dollar so that's what i said okay we need to create not only the acoin but we want to create what we now call the atomic swap where you can actually take your cell phone minutes and you can actually convert those to actually acoins and spill real currency and when you travel outside of africa those acoins will have and hold the same value the atomic swap is just a That's very cool. So how you like that? Yes, I really like it.
How's the city going? Where are you at in terms of the building of the city? And before it like so, the city was it took about five years to materialize to where we are today. It's an eight billion dollar project.
But then we had we brought it down to a six billion dollar project. Just last month, we were able to secure the $6 billion for the city.
So now we have everything in order, including the master plan of the city. And come January of 2021, we start construction.
So first phase, which will be in three phases, a 10-year project. First phase is the first three years.
You'll be able to, after the first phase of the first uh building project you'll be able to fly into the city have fun work and play by 2024 what what a plan well i mean like you talk about dreaming big i mean eight billion dollars is more than six billion but you could also pay for an acoin yeah exactly so you are building an entire city uh what goes along with that for you like do you become king of Or when you fly in, like, what type of rights do you get there? Yeah. So what I'm trying to do is make it a free zone where it's a tax-free zone.
And also I'm trying to set it up to where when you come into Acorn, I mean, Acorn City, you also come in, you can actually apply for your own passport to the city. So it becomes a city independent of the city that it's actually sitting in.
And we want to do it all throughout Africa and eventually one day take it outside of America. I mean, outside of Africa, into America, and also into certain places like India, China, and Latin America.
But to answer your question, yeah, I would be considered pretty much the king of the city because I will be owning it. So you said that you want people to fly and have fun.
What does that look like? What is your vision for the city? Oh man, the city is crazy. Like we have a tech district where you got all the major techs that will be based in there.
We're working out now, partnerships now, you know, we want the world to have to be able to come and be able to visit the Amazon or the Googles or the Apples of the world or the Alibabas of the world, places like that where it's all tech hubs and stuff like that. Then we have the entertainment side of it where we're going to have recording studios for music, film studios for film development and things of that nature.
And then, of course, we've got mad sound stages for concerts, stadiums for ballgames, whether it's soccer or football or wherever, things like that, and also major concerts as well. And then we have the theme park section, where it's all family and friendly.
So it's like a small mini Disney World that's connected to that. So when all the tourists come, they can bring their children, keep them busy.
You know what I'm saying? Then we also have the business district, where it's just all Fortune 500 companies, you know, major Fortune 5 companies that's looking for bases within Africa. They can actually set their home base for all of Africa right there in Akon City and be, you know, major Fortune 5 companies that's looking for bases within Africa, they

could actually set their home base for all of Africa right there in Akon City and be,

you know, pretty much open and have access to everything that actually, you know, that's

wrapped around it.

So it's pretty much a 360 concept idea.

We'll also have hospitals in there, our own police department, our own fire department,

and of real infrastructure that actually goes through the whole process. And we're also about to kill everybody because we're trying to get the Hyperloop, which is a train system that gets you from A to Z within seconds.
I don't know if you guys read up on the Hyperloop, but it's one of them things that'll get you from one point to about five miles in two, three seconds. Holy shit.
Wait, so is that the Elon Musk one? Like, have you been talking? Have you been working with Elon? Elon, actually, I think from, I don't want to go too far with this information because some of it is qualified. I mean, you can see what they call it.
Confidential. And some of it might be true, might not be true, but there's been some real conversations as to what's the name now, now managing the and bought it from elon um uh what's the name the one that owned version uh richard branson yeah rich so now it's a richard branson concept and idea i think elon is still attached to it somehow but you know i know my people when they were talking they were talking amongst those two those two people there damn so this project sounds like something i would come up with if i was like really high in a room with my friends and then the next morning i'd wake up the next day and be like that was a cool conversation but i'm never going to take any steps towards doing it right because it's actually like an insane amount of work to do have you thought about just like stopping it i bet i bet that would be a rush if you were just like nah you know what never mind i'm gonna give up like it seems like there are a lot of points along the way that you could give up on this.
Yeah. The thing is, like, to me, it was more about the adventure, right? And it never started to become a project of this magnitude.
It started off as, you know, buying the land and started building real estate on it and things like this. And as time went on, ideas started to splurge.
You know, we started to expand even wider, started to figure out how we could scale it out and how we could make it bigger. And in time, it just became this big.
But I think it's all about collaboration. You know, I treat my business ventures just the same way I treat music.
You know, if you don't really have or know anything in that space, you hire professionals in that space and just pay them what they're worth and you're going to get your full value out of it. And before you know it, they bring in other professionals that actually adds to it.
And you have a full team naturally just working for you. And then it becomes your vision that they're helping you execute.
Damn. And so I'm assuming that you're going to be able to purchase Akon ringtones with Akon.
That way you get the transaction fee as well. Oh, 100%.
Yeah. Your ringtones, ringback tones, all of them.
I'm looking at pictures. You already got a Gucci store in there.
I'm looking at pictures of your city. That's pretty sick.
But we're going to have all the major hot top brands. They're all going to be within the shopping district.
So when you go there, you won't miss a beat. But the difference is you're going to discover stuff over there and designs over there that you would never see anywhere else in the world.
Because, I mean, one of the most amazing, craziest, out of the space and out of this world type designers are all African, man. It's the type of stuff that they come up with mentally.
It's just out of, and then you team them up with, you know, real design, you know, designers and top notch, you know, like brands with those type of designs. It's only exclusive to Akon City.
I guarantee you, bro, you're going to go out there coming back looking crazy. Are you going to have a sports team? Oh, yeah.
We plan to do that, too, because I don't know if you know that NBA Africa has now been active. So I've been a part of that in the beginning of the stages.
So we all plan to also have a team that I'm working on and speaking to NBA Africa about for Akon City to have its own team as well. Do you know what the team name is going to be? I haven't figured that out yet, but it's going to be related to convicts somehow.
Okay. God damn.
That's what a cool idea. I don't think that people necessarily know that, but when they think about the dude that sings don't matter, he's also the guy that brought electricity to what, 14 countries in Africa.
So you've actually executed on some of this before. Is it at 14 now? Yeah, we're at 16 countries all throughout africa we have pilots everywhere there um and the whole idea for that as you know was to electrify the rural areas and you know the villages and places where people didn't have access to electricity and it ended up becoming a for-profit business now where we're actually a full you like utilize utilizational tool for energy there so we have a full energy company now.

And we were so successful in Africa that we created our company here in America. And here we're doing it on a utility scale as well, where we're in Texas and also in Arizona, doing about 2.3 gigawatts of electricity that we're doing through solar to provide electricity.
And now we're working on a full known project now where we're decommissionizing all the coal plants and turning them into solar and renewable sources of energy. Damn.
So let's just say, flash forward like 60, 70 years, like maybe it's 2090 or something like that what do you want what does akon want

to be known by when this is when when your life's over when people are remembering your career and

your life do you want to be known as a musician as an entrepreneur as ringtone yeah all these

people that'll be walking around that were probably conceived to your songs what do you

what do you want them to think about when they hear the name akon well i think it's gonna be

all of the above but in the end of it i just want them to say wow this dude made a huge impact

Thank you. songs what do you what do you want them to think about when they hear the name akon well i think it's gonna be all of the above but in the end of it i just want them to say wow this dude made a huge impact like he really made an impact and then when they say well how did he make an impact there's endless of things that they can mention to say this is how he did it wow so i had another music question i've always been curious about like how the collaboration works whether it be you collaborating on someone else's album or they collaborating on your album.
How does that work? Do you always have that in mind? Like, all right, I want to work with X, Y, and Z. I have to then do something for them.
Or how does that all kind of play out? Well, it's interesting because it's really a mixture of all of the above. Again, in the beginning, when I first started, my collaboration was very tactical.
I had to find, like, I had to think about everything. So I was very strategic as to how and who I collaborated with in the beginning, because ultimately I did it to gain a fan base.
So I would look at all my BDSs and see where I was getting airplay and where I was super popular and areas where I wasn't as popular, then I would collaborate with the most popular artists in that area to be introduced by that market. So that's how I was able to grow as fast as I did.
And then once you get there, you start to create all these friends that you collaborate with in the past, and it becomes something that's fun for you guys to just do it. And then on a business level, of course, when you don't know people as well as you do, you charge them whatever your fee is.
And then he charges you whatever his fee is. At that moment, we wanted to charge each other because it wasn't coming from our pocket.
The label was paying for it. So we will make money for each other.
You know what I mean? But now direct to consumer and everything is so independently done. It's like if we come out of pocket, it's literally coming out of our pocket.
So now we do what you call a basic swap. I do a song for you, you do a song for me, and then we split the royalties of publishing or wherever down the middle.
Oh, that's cool. Interesting.
Yeah. In today's, in the age of digital music, I've always heard that the artists are getting the short end of the stick more and more on this.
I'm sure that this is something that you've thought about is like, how does the music industry self-correct so that all the money isn't going either to a big corporation that is the platform for it or the record labels especially now since you can't tour like how have you kind of seen the the future of the music industry taking shape in a way that could benefit the artist well the only way it benefits the artist is if the artist is independent um but that's only if the artist is already an A-list, artist already has a name or audience for themselves. Then the independent route is the best way to go.
Somebody like me, definitely independent, 1,000%. If there's an artist that's unknown and needs to build that base, then attaching themselves to a label or some kind of organization or brand is the best way for them to go.
So you almost have to sacrifice yourself to become valuable enough to do it yourself. But if you start with someone from the beginning, I think it's only right to allow them to attach and somehow participate in future earnings, because they did contribute to helping you get to where you are.
But I guess that depends on the person's morale or that person's integrity to an extent. But if they're just a true businessman, they will probably utilize the label of someone as a stepping stone to get to that point, then completely branch off to do their own thing.
So I had one last question. It's been awesome.
And everyone should listen to Akon's new mixtape, which is out now. Make sure you do that.
So my last question, it's called Ain't No Peace, by the way. So my last question, it's the ZipRecruiter question.
With a seamless experience from start to finish, just like this question, ZipRecruiter takes care of your recruiting. Right now, you can try ZipRecruiter for free at ZipRecruiter.com.
This is kind of a dumb question. It's a ZipRecruiter question, but it's a dumb question.
You were the first solo artist to hold both the number one and two spots simultaneously on the Billboard Hot 100. Was there ever a moment that you got sick of hearing your own song just constantly played when you were like, when it was really hot and it was everywhere you went, it was Ak akon akon was there ever a moment like let's listen to something else well to be honest i was tired of hearing my voice yeah yeah you were everywhere everywhere it wasn't a station i would turn to because sometimes i would try i would try to turn to even an am station to just escape and even even the AM stations, they would do talk breaks, and then they may have one song that may play within four or five hours, and it happens to be one of my songs.
And I'm like, hey, right? Right. So, I mean, I was everywhere.
That's why it had gotten to the point where I just stopped listening to music altogether because I would have to hear it everywhere I went, whether I was in a restaurant or a bowling alley. And then on top of everywhere being, everywhere to hear myself everywhere, I would have constant tours and shows where I had to also sing it too.
Yes. Believe me when I tell you, and then every phone that I was next to, if they had a ringtone, most likely it was one of my songs.
So, dude, can you imagine hearing my high-pitched-ass voice? So when I took that break and went back to Africa, it was like, it was perfect. You know, so it kind of allowed me to kind of reset a little bit.
But yeah, to answer your question, I did get tired of hearing myself. When they were number one and two simultaneously, were you rooting for one song over the other to be number one dude i didn't even know what that meant at the time i just thought okay uh smack that went number one oh shit guess what i want to love you also went number one i didn't know i didn't even know they was fighting to get you know flop swaps like i had no idea what was going on until they came and they said yo do you know what just happened i was like no he said dude you got he was saw it was number one and number two at the same time.
And then they swapped places. Then the other number two was number one and number one was number two.
I was like, oh. That's awesome.
That's awesome. Yeah, well, thinking about it today, that's what it accomplished me.
Yeah, yeah. It's incredible.
Well, Akon, this has been awesome, man. We really appreciate it.
Everyone, like I said, go listen to Akon's new mixtape, Ain't No Peace. And we're excited for the city.
I want to go to the city. Yes.
When it's ready to go, I want to go to the city. No, let's listen.
I can't wait to host you guys, man. I'm going to be super excited, bro.
Can you gamble on sports there? Man, they got, listen, we got everything set up all the way. And, no, this was even crazy, and a lot of people don't even know, but we don't have in Akon city, one of the biggest surfing conventions in the city.
So if you guys are into surfing that bro, and a lot of people don't know that San Diego right now in all of Africa is one of the biggest surfing destinations in the world. Okay.
In the world. Okay.
Above everywhere. I'm not into surfing, but I'll get into surfing to go visit your city.
You look like you're going to go to the surfboard, bro.

Me and you, I'm serious with that surfing.

People don't know that.

Okay.

God damn.

This sounds awesome.

You've thought of everything.

All right.

Well, are you going to run for president?

If I do run, it's probably going to be either 2025 or 2029.

Well, neither of those are election years, so you'll probably win. Or in 2028.
There you go. Okay.
I like, though, I think that'd be cool to just run for president in years when there's not an election. Yeah.
Just do your own thing. Can't lose.
Dude, have you ever had an idea and been like, no, that's too crazy. That's too wild.
I'm not going to do that.

No.

You know what?

Actually, I've never.

No.

You know what?

I did one time, and that was to skydive.

I said, oh, yeah, I'm going to do it.

Then I got on the plane, went 30,000 feet in the sky.

What was it?

10,000.

10.

Yeah, it was 10,000 feet in the sky.

And I said, no, I'm not going to do it. But then I got all the way up there and felt like a pussy.
I said, no, I came this far. I got to go do it.
And then I finally did it. And then now, no matter where I go in the world, I always got to find it.
They got skydiving. I always pop off the plane.
What? So now you're skydiving too? It's amazing. I've done it once, but that's the only time I ever need to do it.
I'm never doing it again. Dude, it depends on where you do it.
And if you do it in an area where it's cold, the experience is different. But when you do an area like Dubai or the Middle East, Africa, someplace where it's naturally hot, I don't know what it is.
I think because the heat, it allows you to float slower because somehow the heat kind of keeps you to where you can kind of manage it's rising up yeah yeah yeah it's deep but it's a different experience bro it's like you're floating well i love all your ideas akon you're like you know elon musk is looking up to outer space he's like i'm gonna go explore that plane i'm gonna go land on this asteroid and try to fuck it you're like i'm focused on earth there's so much stuff that i can do down here and uh it sounds like you've been very successful so i wish you the best i can't wait to visit uh akon city and spend like a thousand dollars worth of a coin every minute um so i'm a sucker i'm i'm the person that you want to go visit akon city yes no way you're gonna give vip passes baby love it love it all right much, Akon. We really appreciate it, man.
No, you got it, man. Thank you so much, bro.
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All right, let's finish up with a couple segments in Billy's list. By the way, Hank, that was dirty what you just did.
Hank just texted me. I texted the group.
If the Lakers advance past the first round, they plan to wear black Mamba jerseys to honor Kobe Bryant in the following rounds. Respect.
So that means that after I just went on that rant about how the Blazers have no chance, the Blazers will absolutely win. And then they'll never wear the jerseys.
Well, yeah. And Laker Dan will strike again.
That sounds, I just said it'd be a shame, which it would be. Blazers in five.
Oh my God. I've revised my prediction.
Oh, Blazers in five. Here we go.
Keep talking. I'll drop it to four.
Oh, fucking crazy. You won't do it.
Blazers in five still. Okay.
We have talking soccer. Messi.
Messi got his shit pushed in. He's the only guy on the field.
He can't. What's the Gisele? Tom can't throw and catch? He cannot kick and throw the ball in.
We can. He can kick and score, yeah.
But he can't play defense and offense at the same time. He can't stop eight goals from Bayern Munich.
That was – whatever. Guess what – you know who wasn't playing on Friday? Ronaldo.
That's true. Because he was already out.
Because he's out. Yeah.
But Messi now wants a transfer. He wants to leave, even though he's got another year.
Let's get some with some winners. Why doesn't Messi go to MLS? It's about that time.
Orlando needs a guy. There you go.
He's like 33, 34 right now? No, he's not about that time. He would fucking wreck the MLS.
They should just give Messi an MLS team. Yes.
Be like, hey, bring whoever you want. They make them out of thin air.
Yes. Yeah, here, Messi, you get the Youngstown Penguins.
There we go. Boom, done.
And you don't have to worry about the tax evasion charges that everybody gets in soccer every single year. No, actually, they should give them a team in Delaware.
Boom. Tax-haven, Messi.
You get the Delaware fighting Dels. Yeah, the Delawares.
The Delawares. Yeah.
Della Dolmas. Oh, nice.

Nice.

I like that.

Yeah.

Messi, I hope he does eventually come to the MLS.

I'm sure that he will in like seven years once he's totally washed up.

Yeah.

But they're saying he might go to Man City or Man U, and that was talking soccer. That would be cool.

I'm down for it.

I need my guy.

I need my goat to be with some winners, not losers.

If you don't think Messi's the goat, then you're a fucking idiot.

Yes. Fucking idiot.
It's stupid. I also have a Mike Greenberg's Dumb Rules.
This just came across. So this is per John Heyman.
He said, new MLB COVID rule players who test positive can apply to return to play in 10 days, even if they continue to test positive, but still need MLB joint committee okay. And they're very likely to be allowed back after 14 days,

even with continuing positives.

Reasoning contagiousness dissipates.

So baseball, I guess, is like 20 steps ahead of the rest of the world

when it comes to this stuff.

I'm actually, you know what?

I'm going to give baseball a little bit of credit on this one.

Because for once, they're doing something that doesn't involve

just like slapping an extra DH on there and calling that how they're addressing this one. Yeah.
Because for once, they're doing something that doesn't involve just like slapping

an extra DH on there

and calling that

how they're addressing the crisis.

Yeah, okay.

So verbal meme,

good job.

the tank of water

is everything going to shit

and then the tape

that's going,

the flex seal that's going over

is more DHs.

Rob Manfred's brain.

Yeah.

He's got a lab coat on

and he's figured out

this COVID thing.

He just fucking loves DHs. Yeah.
UFC, by the way, we should at least talk about it. The eye poke fight.
Fellas. Holy shit.
Now, everyone obviously saw Stipe's eye poke with Cormier, but Cormier had poked him in the eye earlier in the fight. So it was a little like, hey, even all fair in love and war,

we can just poke the fuck out of each other.

But that thing was knucks deep.

Two to three knuckles deep.

He found the G spot in Daniel Cormier's brain.

That was a nasty look.

And then even after the fight,

Cormier was like,

yeah, I still can't see on my left eye.

Yeah.

Ever again.

That looked like,

that was like Billy and his frogs.

Yeah.

That's how hard he went in there. He got really deep in there.
Yes. I think he left a ring behind.
Hopefully Daniel Cormier doesn't die like Bertha. Would you rather get poked in the eye or be a frog who got fingered by Billy? No.
Or have somebody stomp on your foot in an MMA fight? I would say stomped on the foot. Yeah, probably.
Yeah. Yeah.
Poke the eye. You're just never right again.
The nice part about getting fingered by Billy if you're a frog is at least you die afterwards. So you don't have to think about it too much.
Yeah, that's true. I'm officially unemployable.
That happened a long time ago, my friend. All right.
Last up. Let's do Billy's list.
Oh, yeah. Take a look at the old packet here, Billy.
Let's see the packets. A-Rod clear-cut favorite to buy the Mets from the Alex Jones Times.
Mm-hmm. Let's see.
None of these are really... Billy, did you put anything about the fire tornado on here? Oh, fire tornado was wild.
That is the murder hornet of Uh-huh. Hey, dude, like, 2020's not bad enough.
Put that... Check that on your bingo cards.
Yeah, 2020. Ha-ha.
Is there anything about stool streams on there, Billy? That's another one that's getting the cheap. Like, the Cormier Stipe eye poke.
Stipe, 2020, Daniel Cormier, all of us. Those are free.
That's free cloud online, folks. It's going to be so sweet, though.
Point out the fact that 2020 sucks. It's going to be so sweet on January 1st when everything starts to kick ass again.
Yeah, all right. Here's a good one.
Let's finish with this. How strong are gorillas? I general.
Pretty strong. Gorillas are four to nine times stronger than the average male human being.
According to the Guinness Book of Records, a silverback gorilla can lift up to 1,800 pounds of dead weight. In comparison, a well-trained human being can lift a maximum of 410 kilograms, 900 pounds.
This is a very rough calculation. There are many variables to consider, but it gives us a good general picture.
How do we know that? Are there gyms in nature? That'd be cool. 800 pounds of dead weight?

Think about this.

A gorilla's never trained in bodybuilding.

That's true.

You know, powerlifting.

We've never got them on a cycle.

So think about how much they could lift if they trained.

Yeah, it's fucked up that whenever we get an awesome gorilla in captivity,

we just teach it sign language and give it a cat that's going to die eventually.

Right.

Instead of just putting it in a gym and being like, yo, get some gains.

Bench press, dude.

Yeah.

Spot me.

All right.

That's a good way to end the show, Billy.

Thank you.

You have, we'll see everyone Wednesday.

Who are we going to run on Wednesday?

We got a lot of stuff to do.

Yeah, we got a lot of people.

We'll have to have a sidebar.

Yes.

We'll have a lot of people, but yes.

Maybe someone from the list.

Maybe someone from which list?

Oh, yeah. Maybe someone from the list.
But actually, never mind. Probably.
But never mind. Probably.
Don't worry about it. The event.
Don't worry. Vanny Woodhead is still.
Oh, yeah. The list.
Yeah. Yeah.
OK, got it. And also Wednesday.
Be ready because we're probably going to do double soggy sorrowsrows. PFT and I are going to...
All your dreams are coming true, folks.

PFT and I are going to take a shower live together.

Billy, hit the meme.

Pressers.

There you go.

Love you guys.

I'm mourning.

That's it.

Billy, you're sitting Shiva right now. Do think Jake's gonna beat me today? Um I Honestly I think you got a leg up on him Oh Billy's cheesing after that one Sorry about that dead frog Your frog is fucking dead dude This is so fucked up Imagine Dead ass frog Anyway What a bitch Any other Any thoughts Billy No I'm like upset Are you upset that your frog's dead Or that we made fun of it? Now that the internet's going to be telling me that I fuck frogs.

No, you don't fuck them.

You just, you finger them.

It sucks.

Anyway, love you guys.

I don't know what to say.

I'll say it anyway.

Today is another day.

If I need to shine away.

I'm coming for your love again.

Take on me.

Take on me.

Take me on. Take on me.
We'll be right back. My name is Johnny, and it might be a sin, but I'll take your bet you're going to regret I'm the best it's ever been.

So needless to say, I want to say, it's about me, it's about me, it's about me, it's about me.

So needless to say, can you say after me?

This is better to be safe than something you can.

Take me, take me, take me, I'll give you You're a good one And fire flew from his fingertips As he turned his axe down low And he pulled that pick across the strings And it made an evil hiss Then a band of demons all joined in And it sounded just like this All things that say Yeah, little I follow Just play my worrying way You are the things I've got to remember Finally! We'll be right back. Take on me It's Pardon My Take presented by Barstool Sports.