
Mike Golic Sr, NBA Playoffs Set And Roasts With Joey Mulinaro
Stages of grief for CFB are discussed and we have a Football Guy of the Millenium. (2:24-10:40) NBA Playoffs are set and we make some knee jerk predictions for round 1. (10:41-18:41) Fyre Fest of the Week and the Billy vs Jake Salisbury/Clayton beef gets hotter. (20:53-32:28) Mike Golic Sr joins the show to talk about his Hall of Fame radio career, the end of Mike and Mike and being disappointed in how things went down, and College Football. (34:10-1:20:36) Billy's list and we finish the show with listener roasts with Joey Mulinaro (1:21:54-1:33:21)
You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/pardon-my-take
Listen and Follow Along
Full Transcript
Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we have Mike Golick Sr.
Talked to him about the last couple of weeks, his radio show obviously ended,
talked about his Hall of Fame radio career, some inside the biz.
Really honest, candid interview from Mike Golick. And I thought it was great.
It was cool to hear him talk about his career. Maybe some of the things that he's not so happy about and how they ended.
But also some of the good things about his career. We have that.
We have Fyre Fest of the Week. We have an NBA playoff picture set, except for the 8-9 seed, which we will find out.
And we have Rose. We're returning Rose, listener Rose, with our friend Joey Molinaro.
Great fantasy fuckboy name. Molinaro.
Joey Molinaro. He's going to do some Colin Coward style Rose for us at the end of the show.
The Barstool Golf Time app makes it easy for golfers to find the best tee times at the best prices. Stop searching all over Google for your next tee time.
Start searching multiple courses in your area from one app. It's annoying to have to create accounts for each individual course to book online.
Just make one account with us at Barstool Golf Time and book all of your tee times. Plus, the new reservation sharing option allows you to take control and book tee times for your entire group.
Earn golf time rewards every time you book or leave course reviews. And then you can redeem those rewards for free Barstool Golf Merch in our store.
Download the Barstool Golf Time app now. Start earning those rewards and booking those tee times.
Barstool Golf Time the sun. Oh, no.
We're gonna rock it down to Electric Avenue. And then we'll take it higher.
Oh, we're gonna rock it down to Electric Avenue. It's.
It's part of my take. Presented by Barstool Sports.
Welcome to part of my take. Presented by the Cash App.
Go download it right now. Use code BARSTOOL.
You get $10 for free. $10 to ASPCA.
Today is Friday, August 14th. PFT, I am in the stage of grief where I am.
What are the different stages of grief? Denial. Already there.
That was basically the last two months. Denial bargaining is the second.
Okay. So I think I moved directly to bargaining when I was like, let's try to get some of the weird NFL games in place at the college football games.
Right, what's three? Three is acceptance. Is that it? Is it just three? I think so.
There's an acronym that we learned in psych called DABDA.
DABDA?
Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.
Depression, acceptance.
Okay, so I think I'm still in bargaining then.
By the way, Jake is – Hank's on vacation again.
Well-deserved.
Yeah.
So we got – it's Jake, Bubba, and Billy here. So I'm in bargaining because this is my bargain.
I don't really want to watch college football without the bands and the student section and, like, the home crowds. Like, what is that? Did they say the bands would be canceled? Well, the game's canceled.
The bands are canceled. Well, what – do you know that? Oh, no.
I'm talking about Big Ten and Pac-12. Okay.
I'm like, you know what? If they had it and there were no fans and there's no student section and no band, what would that even be? They could pump in the band sound. No, I need to see it.
I need to see it. It sounds to me that you're in the acceptance part.
Oh, is well your your acceptance is contingent on denial right so you're not really accepting this is a acceptance on your part okay yeah i'll accept that that yes that's better than denial that's better than depression so now you're just fake happy about it and uh i don't know what's going to happen with the rest of the conferences but we'll see there's just high level high-level meetings all the time. Big 12 is trying to save everything, I guess.
I think the SEC is going to do it. The SEC is in full-on fuck-it mode, or at least we're going to delay, delay, delay, delay, delay until the very last second.
They might even delay again. It's like right now the kickoff is September 26th or something like that for the SEC.
They might just push it back to October. Then they might just push it back to November and be like, we'll cram in a full 10-game
schedule in five weeks, and I'll still hang on.
Just give me that little tiny, tiny bit of false soap.
I don't think they'll play if they're alone.
I think they will play if the ACC and the Big 12 is in there.
But I agree with you.
I said that about March Madness. Don't cancel anything.
just keep pretending that it's going to happen in a week and then push it off another week and i'll be happy about that i i want to hear what fine bomb callers are saying right now if fine bomb callers are still focusing on actual football then i have hope but if they're starting to enter those stages of grief, then I think that might be a problem.
They're like the canary in a coal mine. Once Phyllis from Tuscaloosa calls up and she's like, COVID ain't play nobody, pal.
At that point, I'm going to be like, yeah, it might not happen. Yeah, actually, what's his name? Harvey Updike, like, rest in peace.
He died at the right time. Well, I think it's causation there.
I think college football, the lack of college football kills Harvey Updike. Yes.
So we also, the other part of like accepting all the news this week is perspective. Because UMass head football coach Walt Bell had the football guy of the Millennium quote.
He said, you know, my dad passed away in 2008. My biological mom OD'd in 2012.
And to be honest with you, this is probably a tougher day than both of those. Football is dead.
Wow. Football is dead.
Yeah, that's, I mean, that's an all-time football guy quote for sure. Can I actually defend him for a second? Because people were obviously saying, like, this is crazy.
I kind of get where he's coming from only because, well, one, because it relationship with his mom Saying biological mother Feels like There's more to it Than just You know what I mean She might not be in his life And also instead of saying Died for her He said OD Right right So there's something there But I actually understand What he's saying Because Canceling the football season He has to take The grief and be the guy for 100 other guys. Grief of losing someone in your family, you deal with that alone.
This is a grief where he has to stand in front of 100 kids and be like, we're not playing football this year, and has to basically shoulder that burden for them. Well, it's tough for him.
So I think that's different. I think it's different.
There's no funeral for a college football season. Well, they should bury a football.
You can't get over it. They should.
There should absolutely be a funeral for it. Billy, what were you going to say? What were you going to say? The shoulders of a hundred dreams dying.
Yeah. Yeah.
There we go. What a quote, Billy.
That sounded better in your head. The shoulders of a dream.
Shoulders of a hundred dreams. Uh-huh.
He has to shoulder the burden of a hundred dreams yes that's what i said shoulders shoulder a hundred dreams yeah i mean uh it's tough it's tough for him i get that um but it is like now i want to bet on that guy to win every single game next year yeah we should uh bubba has three-fourths of a degree from umass half oh only half yeah okay half um Yeah, half. Okay, half.
We have the greatest, like,
the combo
of Jake, who
went to Syracuse Journalism School,
the second best behind
what's the name, Newhouse?
You went to Medill.
Columbia is pretty good, too. You guys have this
little shtick of making fun of Newhouse, but you realize you're
praising Revelle's school. No, but I'm a
Columbia guy. I'm a Mizzou guy.
It goes Mizzou guy it goes mizzou then we have jake who's like a big j journalism journalist bubba did a half half a degree at umass hank did a quarter of a degree at southern new hampshire and billy is 100 going to drop out so i like this but go ahead what were you gonna say about the umass, they gave up the most points by a mile, too. Yes.
He's this sad, and they get the shit kicked out of him every single week. He's a masochist.
The school who gave up the second most points was not even close to that, either. Yes.
They give up, on average, about 50 points a game. And this is the worst day of his life.
Yeah, this is still the worst day. I would like losing to yukon by 48 would probably be worse you would think you would think um but uh yeah that it is funny to to put that into perspective and be like they get the shit kicked out of them so so bad and he's like guys bad news we're not going to lose a billion they gave up 632 points in 12 games last year.
And I want to say second was like in the 400s. They were 1-11.
They won... They're not going to lose a billion games.
They gave up 632 points in 12 games last year.
And I want to say second was like in the 400s.
They were 1-11.
They won the famous Akron game.
Shout out Jack Mack.
Good pick, dude.
And so 632.
I'm doing the quick math.
They gave up 52 points a game.
Fuck.
What stage of grief is that when you just malign your parents' death? That's got to be super depression, right? Right. So, yeah.
So, we had that quote. So, that's perspective.
There is some truth to it, though. Yeah.
Because, think about it. Yes.
You're going to repeat what I just said. No, because football is always a constant in football guys' lives.
Yeah. Because everything else can, like, shit can hit the fan, but, like, you're always, like, getting the shit kicked out of you on a Saturday or playing football.
Like, you can understand that. But, like, when football gets canceled, you never accounted for that.
Football made sense. Yeah, football makes sense.
The only thing in his life that made sense. You can pretend you don't have a family if you coach football.
In fact, you probably do. You can't pretend that there's football if you have a family.
Right.
Exactly.
Okay, that actually made sense.
The shoulders of dreams of a hundred souls.
No, that made sense.
I'm giving you credit.
Why are you getting upset?
Well, my season got canceled, so this kind of hits close to home.
Do you wish that your parents had died instead?
Billy's the real victim here.
Yeah.
Let me think about that one.
I think that we should address the big news of the day,
and that is the Seahawks' undrafted cornerback, Kima Siverand.
He was busted for trying to sneak a girl into the training camp bubble
that they've established in Seattle,
and he got caught and immediately cut from the team.
He had her wear Seahawks gear, like a Seahawks hoodie,
so that he could pretend that she was one of his teammates.
I love it. Brought her in, got cut, and now he's just without a job because he was too horny.
But he's famous. Horny Hall of Fame.
Yeah. Him, Rick Pitino, Bill O'Reilly, Stephen A.
Smith. Bill Clinton.
Bill Clinton. Barbara Corcoran.
Yeah. Brandon Walker.
The panda that repopulated the entire population of pandas because he fucked so good. So, yeah, he is the Legion of Poon is what I'm calling this.
There you go. This group of Seahawks cornerbacks.
He actually, like, should bill every football coach in America because they're going to use this. Like, this is going to be the first slide that everyone shows on, you know, the next time they have a meeting.
Don't be this guy. Or if you're a smart coach, just, like, get a couple Instagram thoughts, sign them to your 80-man roster, and just have them live inside your own bubble.
Well, they're letting fucking happen in the NBA bubble now. Thank God.
So they're in phase two, I think. So we do have an NBA.
That's phase two? I think it is. Just like get your dick wet? Yeah, start fucking.
So we do have an NBA playoff picture. It's starting on, well, technically on Saturday night is the play-in game.
Right now, as we're taping this, Memphis is up by 10. I don't think, you know, Giannis isn't playing because he headbutted Mo Wagner.
I think Memphis is going to win, so it's going to be, and I'm going to say Portland's going to win. They're not going to lose.
Dame is not going to lose that game. Playoff Damien.
Playoff Damien. Right.
Exactly. So it's going to be Memphis versus Portland in that eight, nine game on Saturday night.
And then if the nine seed wins, they play against Sunday night, but we have our playoff picture. It's the Bucks versus the Magic sweep Raptors versus the Nets probably sweep Celtics versus Sixers which I feel like this is the 17th time they've played I'm rooting the last three playoffs you know what I'm actually rooting for the Nets because I can't name a single player on the Nets right now and somehow they haven't been terrible inside this bubble yeah they're they're like just well I mean the line for terrible was the Wiz.
Yes. And they were just above that.
They tried their hardest to go over, but they won their last one by accident. And then Heat Pacers for the 4-5 matchup.
How are you feeling about your Heat? I like my Heat. Okay.
I love your Heat. Underestimate the Heat culture.
That's right. Ooh, yeah, that's right.
I always forget that we have a South Florida fan here, except for the Yankees. Is Udavis Haslam still on the Heat? Yeah.
They should bring him back every year just for the playoffs. Just so that you can point at him.
Andre Iguodal is on the Heat. He's still here? Yep.
And they also have the combo of Duncan Robinson and Tyler Hero. You just bring them in and out.
It's like, here you go. Did you see that picture? I think it was a couple days ago, it went viral.
It was Gordon Hayward rejecting somebody. And the guy's jersey on the back said equality.
So it just looked like Hayward was like swatting equality. That's pretty good.
The NBA has come up with memes. Their jerseys now are so memeable.
Every time I see the one that says, I'm a man, even though I'm sure it means something personal to the player that's wearing, I always wish their number was 40 underneath it. That'd be sweet.
Yes. All right, so Western Conference, Lakers versus the 8-9 matchup.
Clippers versus the Mavs, which is going to be awesome. It's going to be a million points.
You're saying that there's no chance whatsoever that the Suns get in. They need Memphis to lose.
It sucks. Suns versus Blazers would be awesome.
Suns versus Blazers is everything we wanted to root for. But maybe we're wrong.
Maybe by the time you're listening to this, they're like, hey, guess what? The Grizzlies have lost because the Grizzlies have been a disappointment ever since they've been in the bubble. And the Suns, they should just, they made the Zion rule.
Why not just make the Suns our more fun rule? Yeah. What are the Suns right now? They're like 7-2? No, they're 7-0.
7-0. 7-0 in the bubble.
They will be undefeated in the bubble when they beat the Mavs. They should absolutely make a rule allowing the Suns in.
Although the Blazers, I mean, they are, I think they are a team that could beat the Lakers first round.
No.
I said could.
Yes.
Yes.
Okay, yes.
If Anthony Davis and LeBron both get injured.
Yep.
They absolutely could. They could.
They could do that um Nuggets versus Jazz they should just let that one be played at high altitude the whole time that's a perfect matchup for my high altitude idea they're both used to it yeah just do it and then Rockets versus Thunder which would be great we got some some bad blood if you think the NBA doesn't engineer their schedules and their matchups,
Rockets Thunder, holy shit.
Harden and Chris Paul. How many dicks do you think Chris Paul is going to punch in the first
round? Oh yeah. He's going to be all mad.
All mad. So that's going to be
starting on Monday. Very excited
for that. Hockey
playoffs have been incredible. We're
taping this before the Blackhawks game. I'm just going to
assume they won. One and one series.
That's fine. Caps are going to win tonight.
There you go. On Friday night.
What happened? They were up to nothing. The ice.
It's bad ice in Toronto. Tom Wilson beat the shit out of somebody because he hit Nick Baxter and probably broke his rib.
The dreaded upper body injury right now is what he's dealing with. Seems like the Caps deal with this in the first round every time in the playoffs.
But guess what? We've been down 1-0 before. We've been down 2-0 before.
We usually lose, but we've won. Been there.
Been there, done that. And then the big news of the day is we got a new rich friend.
George Kittle, Greg Kittle, our good friend, signs a $75 million contract with San Francisco 49ers. Biggest contract in tight end history? Yep.
I'm so happy for him because we were actually talking about this last week. It's so crazy to think that George Kittle, because he was a fifth-round draft pick, he is arguably the best tight end in the game.
You could obviously make the argument that now that Gronk is back or Travis Kelsey, I'm going to say he's the best tight end in the game. he's the best tight end of the game you could obviously make the argument that now the cronk is back or travis kelsey i'm gonna say he's the best tight end in the game he's the best tight end in the game and he has played in the nfl for three years and he has made less than two million dollars total that's insane so the fact that he you know they were able to figure out this deal he gets paid for for what he deserved it's awesome it's awesome because i i can't imagine the stress of being that good and like not capitalizing on it and also shout out to greg kittle because he went out of his way to let us get credit for it last night this morning yeah he he told kyle shanahan and in rapaport yes that he wanted to wait for the news to be broken by part of my take yes so if you saw right after pmt tweeted it out rapaport tweeted his tweet out and then afterwards shout out to shepherd that today was a banner day for adam shefter yep and being late on contracts but adding a little piece of information that nobody asked for so today right after the kiddo news broke adam shefter tweeted out and said he now makes more money than hunter henry which is the big question everybody was asking and then on, after he missed out on the Kelsey news, he tweeted out just a picture of Travis Kelsey and said, big day, tight ends getting paid.
Travis Kelsey just got a contract. So he put a nice job.
Yeah, a little Getty Images addition onto the news. Jesus.
So, yeah, shout out our guy, Greg. Very excited for him.
Much deserved. And it's got to feel awesome.
I told him he's got a live stream signing it. And just go through the emotions.
Yeah. You think he's going to cry? Oh, yeah.
He's going to tap the Joker signature and then go absolutely apeshit on the contract. Do you think his dad's going to write him a mini novel before he signs the contract? I think so.
That would be pretty cool. Maybe we can actually get Papa Kittle to like you know now that we now now there's some money floating around maybe he can actually like get uh a binding for the for the novels or like put a proper cover on it let's get this up let's let's let's stop doing like 14 pages stapled together like he's billy football he should get it going he should get a publishing deal yeah somebody should.
Somebody should sign George Kittle's dad. Yes.
Have him motivate America. We will sign him.
Mm-hmm. For nothing.
Write us a letter, George Kittle's dad, before every podcast that we do. Yes.
Tell us to not be afraid to be great today. Mm-hmm.
So that was, that's pretty much everything that's going on. We have roasts coming up.
We also have Billy's list. We want to do Fyre Fest? Yeah, let's do it.
All right. Before we get to fire fest, you got a quick ad read.
Yeah,
well,
it's three Chi.
And I think we all know about three Chi by now.
I took some three Chi on Sunday night.
I believe was the last time I did.
We just got done recording part of my take.
I got home,
had a little bit of trouble falling asleep afterwards.
I went straight to my cabinet,
got the three Chi.
I think it was called like comfortably numb.
It was one of their oils.
Put that under my tongue, let it marinate for about a minute, fell asleep in about 45 minutes. It felt awesome because 3Q is a great product.
And you've heard us talk about it. It's Delta 8 THC.
So it's a different type of THC than what you're used to. You're used to smoking the Delta 9.
You're used to buying the Delta 9 gummies, the brownies, all that stuff. Delta 8 is a federally legal version of that same THC.
Its effects are a perfect hybrid of CBD and Delta 9. So you get that similar buzz and all the medicinal effects of Delta 9.
Without the laziness, you don't get the anxiety. You don't get the paranoia.
You don't get mental fogginess. Delta 8 users report feeling far more active.
You're more outgoing. You have increased confidence as well.
And you don't have any of that paranoia that you associate with Delta 9 usage. All their products are made in the USA with US grown hemp.
They're formulated by a biochemist. And when they released their Delta 8 products, they were the first federally legal THC products sold in the USA since prohibition started almost 90 years ago.
And as I mentioned, they're federally legal. They're a perfect substitute for anyone who uses Delta 9 that wants the same great feeling.
They're not just the best in the industry. They invented the industry.
It's 100% hemp-derived. It's available online.
It's federally legal. You can go to 3, that's the number 3, chi.com, or visit select retailers around the country.
You have to be 21 or over to purchase it, but we're going to give you 5% off. And if you know anything about the industry, 5% is a great discount.
They don't need to give you a discount. They could tell me that whenever I log on their website, the prices that I see are 5% lower than what they actually are.
And I'd still buy double, but they're giving you 5% off. Go to number three, chi.com.
Get your Delta 8 vapes, gummies, tinctures, and oils using promo code PMT at checkout. Get 5% off that order.
You have to be 21 to purchase. PMT at checkout.
The number3chi.com. All right, let's do it.
Fire Fest of the week. Let's have everyone put in their Fire Fest.
Let's start with Bubba. Pretty simple.
It's just that every weekend sucks now because there's nowhere to go. And so then there's pretty much there's nothing to look forward to ever.
Wow. That's heavy.
That is heavy, Bubba. I mean, last weekend I realized that like Friday I went to a new pizza place and I was like super excited about it.
And then that was at like 8 o'clock on Friday. Can I give you a tip? Yeah.
Donuts on Saturday morning. True.
Every Saturday morning, it is going and getting the donuts and then eating the donuts is the greatest 45 minutes of my week. The deli that I go to, they do like a special on Saturday and I look forward to that.
I get the same sandwich every single Saturday.
You gotta have these little things.
Just pick a movie
every weekend to watch on Saturday night
and then you have that to look forward to all week.
It doesn't matter if it sucks.
It's just the little things.
AMC is opening back up. Did you see that?
AMC theaters are trying to open up nationwide
and they're going to be charging like 15 cents
to get in. That's how much it costs
to die.
I don't know about you guys, but I don't think I'm going to go to a movie. I've seen Outbreak too many times.
No, yeah. That's where it all starts in a movie theater.
It would be great. I do like going to the movies because it feels like an event, but it would be nice if this just changes everything where every movie you can buy right away.
Yeah, it'd be wonderful.
Like, fuck going to a movie.
You're going to charge me like a quarter to buy an unregistered African monkey right now?
Like, I've seen this movie before.
I'm not going to be going to your movie theater.
Right.
Jake, you're fire fast.
So, obviously the whole ankle thing, but we're going to get past that.
Billy, any thoughts?
No comment.
And I'm here. I'm just going to ignore him.
Jake, can you a little bit of ammo to clap back at Billy. Billy spends all his time playing video games.
He's a fucking nerd. You are a nerd.
If I didn't play video games, I'd be outplaying sports, but I can't. I legit can't have any physical contact with anybody because of this.
The you're a nerd. The body craves contact.
You're going to turn into a nerd. You know what I look forward to? Playing video games because I get a rush.
Nerd. Nerd.
There's a split second where when you kill somebody in a video game, you can talk to them and I just scream profanity at them. Everything you're describing is things that a nerd would do.
No, it's the closest thing to trash talking. Can I read this tweet? It says,
dudes, I need help. I don't know
what to build now that Bruin
is nerfed. I saw that
and I was like, man.
You're a nerf nerd.
Nerf that's for playing tennis.
Yeah, right.
Jake's out there building muscle, making gains.
Hey, guess what? You can play tennis. You said you can't
play sports. You can play tennis.
Golf. Billy, Golf.
Billy. You wear your fucking tennis whites, your tighty-whities on the fucking thing? If I was, I wouldn't have worn my ankle.
Yeah, I'm the bad boy of tennis. The bad boy of tennis.
I'm like Andre Agassi, bitch. The tighty-whities.
Married Steffi Graf. Fucking rackets and shit.
David Bray Shields. No, rackets.
Rackets, dude. Sports growth.
Rackets. Billy, here's where I draw the line.
Jake, contact injury on his ankle. He injured himself playing sports.
When was the last time you got injured playing video games? That's a non-contact. He made contact with the court.
He literally tripped on a flat surface and hurt himself. Achieving greatness by beating me and Hank at the same time.
Let's get back on track. Jake, your fire fest.
My fire fest, obviously the whole ankle thing. I'm here to say I will still be participating in Monday's dual streams against Hank.
Third and final match. You're going to play ping pong against him? I am playing.
On this Monday? I'm not backing down. Holy shit.
Willis Reed's got nothing on Jake Marsh. Hank's coming off a vacation.
He he's gonna be fat and happy and tan beat the shit out of him jake um tune in so two weeks ago i was taking all my shirts out of the office to take them to the dry cleaners and i thought there would be one right next door uh right under this building it was closed found another one two walks down it was closed i eventually went to nine dry cleaners that were all closed. I guess they closed early at like three o'clock and I just found myself back in my apartment.
Oh, fuck. I was just carrying like a big ass bag.
Yeah, I was just carrying four dress shirts for the broadcast. Why are you looking at me, Billy? It's Jake's Fire Fest.
Why are you looking at me? Because he needs to steal the spotlight. What the fuck does that mean? Anytime I get to speak, Billy's got to try to make it over.
Generally, I have zero, like, anyway. Billy, why don't you do, that was a good fire fest, Jake.
Billy, why don't you do your fire fest? You know what the difference between you and us is, Jake? You had four different dress shirts, and you took them to get them dry cleaned yeah I've had one dress shirt that I've kept at the office for five years and I haven't like I put it on when I have to do something on camera that requires a collared shirt and I just like throw it back in the back every time every time PFT puts on a collar or buttons I'm just like who died yeah big cat looks at me but like mentally for the broadcast you feel clean it helps your confidence that's true on the mic i always wear yeah i always wear a clean shirt when i'm podcasting that's right number one exactly all right billy so i've been uh trying a lot of different pre-workouts lately and uh yesterday uh pft and big had kindly let me go home a little early yeah so why don't you tell the whole story so So I just asked you. At what time? At what time? It was three o'clock.
No, it wasn't. No.
I left at three. No, but you asked at two.
You asked at two. And then at three, you gave me the puppy eyes being like.
You asked at two and I said, Billy. Tough.
It was a real tough day. Tough day.
I said, I got there at nine. Yeah, but that was because you fucked up and you thought you had to be there at 9.
No, I got there early.
You came in at 9 so I could come up with questions.
I was like, Billy, why are you here so early?
He's like, don't we have an interview in 20 minutes?
And he's like, nope, it's an hour.
And you're like, shit.
Billy got here at 9, came up with questions for somebody that we weren't interviewing,
and then asked at 2 o'clock, do you guys need me for the rest of the day?
And I said, Billy, why don't you tell me what you plan on doing for the rest of the day? And your answer was, well, I was going to take some pre-workout and play Call of Duty. No, I was going to work out and then play Call of Duty.
So what did you do? That's the only thing I do because you can't do anything else. Anyway, so I tried this new pre-workout, and I always take pre-workout right before I get home, right before I start going home because then it kicks in when I get home so I can work out.
Anyway, this shit hit me when I was in the middle of traffic. And it was kind of like I started getting jitters.
Traffic, you're a nerd. That's not even funny.
Yeah, it is. That was funny.
That was funny. Dude, you called rackets nerdy.
Traffic. I bet you were buckled up up pussy.
I was fucking. What, you got your anti-lock brakes on? No, I almost ripped my fucking steering wheel off.
So I was just like, oh. And then it wore off by the time I got home.
But I still worked out. And then I was like playing Call of Duty.
Shit. I got a bunch of kills.
That's tough. Nice.
That's tough. But I almost also shit myself.
Yeah, right.
Yeah, you did.
Then a woman looked at me
and I was like,
what?
I just shit myself.
And she was like,
you're hot.
And I was like,
okay, cool.
And then I went to phase two with her.
All right, PFT,
what do you got?
My Fire Fest of the week
is the Washington football team
formerly known as the R-Words
might be up for sale
and I'm $3 billion short. Oh, damn.
So the minority owners are pressuring dan snyder to sell the team which has been something that's been going on for the last two months there are reports out now that snyder is now uh hiring an investigator firm to look into whoever leaked the fake reports about all the bad stuff like the epstein type stuff right to a company in india it turns out that one of his former employees may be linked to one of the minority owners of the team so this is like Shakespearean stuff if William Shakespeare cared about a football team that never had more than six wins and it's getting really nasty and Snyder is closer than he's ever been to selling the team I need to figure out a way to raise three billion dollars okay we could do it about sperm banks? How much does it cost for a sperm? I charge by the sperm, not per the batch. One sperm? Yeah, I charge by the sperm.
Sperm. Singular.
Yeah. What is it? Scent? I don't know.
I just need some get-rich-quick schemes. That's all I need.
Alright. Well, there's no reason to have you here, Billy, if you can't tell us the price of sperm.
One acoin. Haven't you done the sperm thing? What? Donated sperm? Yeah.
No. Oh, just plasma? You did white blood cells.
White blood cells. Okay, all right.
I feel like if you start giving your plasma and blood constantly for money, you're going to eventually just give sperm. Yeah, white blood cells and sperm are very similar.
You just look at the cover of Metallica's Load album,
and they're all together, right there, mixed together.
It's one healthy batch.
All right, so we're going to get you $3 billion.
$3 billion.
Any good ideas?
Anyone?
No.
What are we doing here?
Let me think.
Let me think.
Bring back college football and be the guy who did it.
If I got – all I need to do is convince everybody in China
to give me $1.50.
Yeah, we spent like an entire day trying to figure out how to get $50,000. Yeah.
This seems a little harder. New asking price for Vanny Woodhead, $3 billion.
You need to break it down a little bit smaller. We've got to do baby steps.
You know what? I've got an offer right now. I just checked my email.
$4 billion is what I'm being offered for Vanny Woodhead. I'll let it go for $3 billion.
Just because I'm being nice, I want to give an award-winning listener a discount. So again, 25% off.
Use promo code PFTByTheRedskins. Jump in front of Jeff Bezos' car while he's driving.
That's a good idea. Good idea, Billy.
Good idea, Billy. Or get a Cybertruck, die in it.
Okay? Yep. Shoot Elon Musk.
Take out a big insurance beforehand. Then Leroy gets the team.
Yes. Yes.
Yeah. Perfect.
Okay, I got it. Billy, why don't you put Leroy in the Cybertruck? You get a Cybertruck.
No, I'm not killing Leroy. You get in a Cybertruck.
You drive in front of Jeff Bezos. So now Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos, and you add me to your will as your heir.
Why? We get a fake body double. Nerd, you won't even die? I mean, that is.
That's like the ultimate nerd thing. I have to wear my seatbelt.
No, you know what? We do that, get more than $3 billion, then use $1 billion to play college football.
Okay, I'm down with that.
All right, we've got to get going.
No time.
All right, let's go to Oregon.
My Fyre Fest of the week is obviously everyone heard the big news.
We had Deion Sanders on on Wednesday.
He's now a co-worker. I was reminded on Wednesday morning that before my son was being born, going through names, I was pushing for Dion.
And it just brought up a lot of bad memories because Dion Katz is like the most electric name ever.
That's also a good name for a cartoon cat.
Yeah.
So I just was I went back down the spiral of like, damn, my son's name is not Dion.
So, you know, like the name Dion, we talk a lot about quarterback names and you can just see somebody and you're like that name is a quarterback like uh johnny man's john parker wilson john parker wilson john david booty all these hypothetical names great quarterback names deon katz you tell me that you're not starting the tailback yeah deon katz is getting electric he's getting 30 touches a game dugs just so that that I can name every player Dion Katz. You can also just always add a middle name.
Yeah. Like, no one says you have to change a middle name, but you can add a second.
Dion Neon Katz. Yeah.
Done. Yeah, so that's my fire fest.
All right, let's get to Mike Golick. Before we do that, ButcherBox is back when it comes to meat.
Quality matters, but there's more to it than texture and taste. ButcherBox has the best meat ever delivered directly to your door.
You don't have to go to the grocery store. Not everyone has that convenient access to high quality meat.
And that's why we have ButcherBox, a hundred percent grass fed finished beef, free range, organic chicken, heritage, bread, pork, or wild caught salmon. That is what ButcherBox delivers directly to your door.
Every month, ButcherBox ships a curated selection of those high quality meats. And then all the meat is free of antibiotics and added hormones.
Each box has nine to 11 pounds of meat, enough for 24 individual meals, packed fresh, shipped frozen and vacuum sealed. So it stays that way.
And you can customize your box however you want to. It's the best meat delivered directly to your door.
I love it. I put it all in the freezer, make a big thing of chili, have steaks on deck, burgers on deck, everything ready to go with ButcherBox.
Because ButcherBox has the highest quality meat. It's only around $6 a meal and they even have free shipping nationwide except Alaska and Hawaii.
So mark a visit to the meat counter off your list and receive quality meats delivered to your door now. Just go to butcherbox.com slash take.
That's butcherbox.com slash take. ButcherBox.com slash take right now and get yourself some high-quality meat.
Get ready to go. Don't be a nerd like Billy football.
Get yourself some meat butcher box.com slash take. Okay.
Here he is. Mike Golick.
Okay. We now welcome on recurring guest, friend of the program, radio hall of famer.
Is that weird to say radio hall of fame? Yeah. It's wild because I've been in two of those Hall of Famer.
Is that weird to say, Radio Hall of Fame? Yeah, it's wild because I've been in two of those Hall of Fames, and along with playing football, I wrestled, and I ended up in a wrestling Hall of Fame, but only as a distinguished American. So the only Hall of Fame I'm in for actually playing a sport is my high school.
So, you know, push come to shove, I'd like to be in the Hall of Fame for actually playing a sport but it's cool man i i dig it you're in the radio hall of fame it is mike golick legend of the game uh great to have you on so it's been what a week and a half now since uh you know you're off radio the first question i think all of america wants to know have you been able to adjust your sleep, or are you still waking up at 4 in the morning and being like, fuck, this sucks? Oh, I mean, no. I mean, I don't know when I'm going to get out of that mode.
I mean, the one thing I have done is I've turned off the 415 alarm. I had before the 22 years at ESPN, I lived in Arizona while I was doing NFL.
It was called NFL Tonight then, not NFL Live. And I was calling college games for ESPN.
I was doing local radio in Phoenix for three years during doing the morning show. So for actually 25 years, I'd be getting up at 415.
So now I turn the alarm off. But no, it's going to be a while.
I still kind of stir and look at the clock at 4.15, but now I can just roll over and go back to sleep. That must have been kind of a bittersweet moment for you, like the ceremonial change of the alarm clock.
You know, you're doing that for, what, was it 20 years every morning? Yeah, a total of 25 years. And, yeah, I mean, listen, to me it's more bitter than sweet because I still want to be doing morning radio.
I didn't want it to end. So I would much rather still be getting up at 4.15.
I love doing it. I love being involved in it.
I hope to do it again, you know, at some point. So over time, the sweetness and the memories, and I've had a lot of great memories, obviously, are going to be there.
But I'd still much rather be doing the show. Yeah, I mean, that one clip that kind of went viral a week ago where it was your son, Gojo, telling you, like, hey, you were always a dad first.
You were, you know, obviously like a great mentor to me. I got to work with my dad.
I think we all watched that. We all, like, teared up a little bit.
That was a really, really nice way to end the show. Was that a surprise to you? Did you know it was going to get mushy like that? No, no.
In fact, you know, the whole last show, I knew that I was going to have my family on for the last hour. Trey was, was nice enough to, I said, Trey, the last hour I'd like to have my family on.
He said, I will step aside. But Herm Edwards had contacted us and said he wanted to come on to say goodbye to Trey.
They're very good friends. And Herm could only, you know, him being out on the West Coast out in Arizona, he could only do it at 9.30 our time.
So nine o'clock rolled around. It was just me and my family.
And 9.30 Trey came back in and Herm came on. And then the last eight minutes, the last segment was just me and my family again.
And I had planned and I'm glad I did it at nine o'clock talked about the listeners over the years and growing a bond with them and a relationship and stuff. Because I planned on kind of doing that again at the end, at the last few minutes.
And then all of a sudden, Mike started going and I was like, Oh, shit. I'm like, man, I, I almost made it through this thing.
You know, I was wondering if I was to get emotional. I knew my wife was going to be balling the whole time anyway.
And then, no, I had no idea. I guess he told the rest of the family to make sure he had the last couple of minutes so he could do that.
I did not know that was coming. And, boy, that hit like a ton of bricks.
Yeah. So I want to get – you just mentioned you want to keep you you would love to still be on radio and i want to get back to that before i do that just to follow up on this um have you had the ability to take a step back and kind of soak it all in that you mean a lot to people and you have been part of their lives for two decades plus because I think that's one thing and our careers are a lot you know we've been doing it for a lot less time than you but that's one thing that we all kind of fail at is to take a step back and be like oh you know what these a lot of people out there truly have a relationship with us and it's fun to sometimes recognize that and kind of soak it all in have you you been able to do that? I have.
And I really, because of social media, one of the biggest in having done this for over two decades, how when I first started, we were taking faxes from, from listeners, you know, millennials are going, what the hell is that? You know, the fax paper would fall behind the machine and roll up because it would never come out the right way. I mean, that's how it was.
Now with social media, you get that immediate kind of response. So I was overwhelmed and humbled, not for the people saying, hey, you know, they shouldn't be ending that show.
Not for that. It was for, I feel like I knew you.
I feel like I knew your family. I feel like we were friends.
If I saw you in a restaurant or airport, I knew I could come up to you and say hi because it felt like we had a relationship. That, to me, was one of the more cool things and one of the things, in all honesty, that I wanted.
Because as you guys know, when you do this, you need to give yourself to everybody. You need to, as far as everybody personally wants to go, open yourselves up and let people know you.
Anybody can turn on a show and just have someone throw sports information at them and throw stats at them and shit. But let them get to know you and let them in, the good and the bad.
Mike was nine, Jake was eight, Sidney was five when I started radio at ESPN. And I told them early on, listen, our lives are going to be out there, guys, the good and the bad, we're just we're just going to let it let it be out there.
And by the time, you know, ESPN said I was done with this, Mike's 30, Jake's 29, Sidney's 25. So there was a lot of life in there that we opened up to everybody and to hear their feedback and saying how much they enjoyed that that was that was very touchy so a quick follow-up on that and I'm curious because you know when you started you you just said you know your kids were nine seven and five and it also was a different time because the internet wasn't what it is today right i you
know my son's one years old i've kind of made the conscious decision that i'm not going to be just putting him online because i don't want him to one day wake up and be like oh dad's just been blasting me on instagram uh you know crying when i'm two years old there do you know what i mean like he he doesn't he hasn't consented to that like i don't want i want to give a normal life. Do you think if you were, if we could go back 20 years, but it's 2020.
So you're starting your career right now. Would you do the same thing? Would you be as open of a book or would you be like, maybe the internet's a little bit of a darker, scarier place these days? It certainly would make me think more because I know, especially for my wife, you know, when my boys were playing at Notre Dame and, and, you know, the internet can be tough on, on, on, you know, athletes on anybody on family.
And some of the stuff she heard about the kids and stuff that, that, you know, kids blow off and don't worry about it, but it's tough on a parent. And I, I want to sit here and say, I probably would have done it the same way, but it's very difficult for me to say that because you're right now.
Again, my youngest at that point was five, still not an adult. So it's not like, hey, Sydney, can I have your consent to do this? I was a parent if I wanted to do it.
I was going to do it. So I get what you're saying.
I would like to say I would have done it, but that's a very difficult one to answer because there is no doubt the climate is completely a 180 from it was when I started this. Yeah, that's what the pugs are for.
That's how you bring your family to the internet, and everybody loves a good pug. You never, ever, ever lose with dogs.
Yes. Never.
It's true. They sit there on camera and lick themselves, and nobody will care.
I mean, it's a dog, so it's cool. It's true.
And I do think that 20 years ago, you're able to share what you want to share and keep away. Now, it's kind of all or nothing.
And it's so 24-7 that it's just – and the internet is forever kind of thing that it just feels different. The biggest difference, I guess the way I would say it is you can't partially open the door.
Right.
You know, you, you, and I decided my wife and I decided we were going to open the door,
but again, so I started it here in Phoenix where the kids were even younger.
That was 1995, you know?
So when I started ESPN in 98, as we said, it's a different time.
We just decided to open the door and let our family in, but you're right now. You can't partially do it because you partially do it.
The Internet knows how to rip the door open. Right.
And really kind of get everything out there. So it's definitely different now.
I can absolutely see your point. For sure.
Yeah. Can we clean something up real quick here just so that we know for posterity, Mike and Mike.
So I tweeted this at you when it was announced that you're moving on, but you were a big part of my life growing up and not just like going through high school, but college and some jobs that I had afterwards where I think a lot of people can relate where maybe they have a bad day or they're not looking forward to going to work for whatever reason. And even if it's just like five, 10 minutes in the car on the way to work, if you can make somebody's day like 2% better, that's a small thing, but it's actually a big thing.
You know, it adds up if you can just make, because from the start of the day, you might be in a slightly better mood. That might change something that happens later on that day.
You might be nicer to somebody and then that stuff keeps going forward. So I just want to say thank you because it didn't, it didn't really occur to me as, you know, as you're in the moment, but looking back on it for me, it's like, that's a big thing that adds up.
And yeah, so I just want to say thank you for that. It's very important to me that, that I had something like that, that could, you know, put a bright spot in a day.
You know, and I appreciate that. And I appreciate, you know, both you guys, you know both you guys you know you know tweeting about it everything when it ended that was it's a very cool thing to hear from your peers and i respect the hell out of you guys and what you're doing so to hear from people in the business as well as listeners and viewers was a cool thing but to that point um i think that was probably some of the best stuff I heard from people was I remember obviously one thing was it made me feel real old with some of the stories when I was in grade school I my parents would or my dad would drive me to work that was our time together listening to you talk about sports I had a kid uh text or tweet me and say I listened to you when I was delivering papers when I was 14.
I was listening to you when I was getting up for morning football workouts in high school. I listened to you when I was getting up to go to class in college.
I listened to you when I was deployed, you know, on my first, you know, going to duty. And I'm like, oh, my God.
I mean, A, I'm old, but B, I mean, that was it to me. That was, I was never a hot take guy.
If I had a strong opinion there, and there's some things that push my buttons, I would say it, but I wasn't a hot taking guy. I wasn't a yelling guy.
I was going to tell you of my experiences as a pro athlete, my experience as a father, whether it was sports or outside of sports. And I just kind of wanted to talk with people, not at people.
And I think that's what I felt best about in hearing a lot of the responses is people felt like when they got up in the morning, they turned us on when we were on ESPN2 and just went about their morning like they were listening to us on the radio and went about their day. And then when they went into the car, they turned us on the radio.
It was part of their morning habit. It was just like turning on a friend and just hearing, maybe laugh, just like you said, maybe laughing a little bit, you know, maybe getting a little information, maybe getting a little insight into something.
And that was it. Just take a little bit.
Again, I wasn't there to blow your mind. I was just there to kind of guide you until your morning got going wherever it was supposed to get going.
And I was fortunate enough to do it for a couple of decades. So have we established whether or not you were the first Mike or the second Mike on the logo? Well, I mean, listen, this is the way I'll put it.
Actually, morning radio at ESPN didn't start with Mike and Mike. It started with me and Tony Bruna.
We were the first ones to start morning radio in 1998. And then he left the next year or right before 2000, like October of 99.
And then we were searching for a new partner and we decided on Greeny right at the beginning of 2000. So I was the first Mike on the show before it became Mike and Mike.
So I guess I think if you write that down into law, that would mean I'd be the first Mike, mean would you guys agree with that yeah absolutely let it be written let it be known yeah um so there you go how how is your uh relationship with greenie these days because obviously there's a lot of stuff written when mike and mike ended and you know people are saying oh they weren't talking um i you know i never know what's truth and what's what's fiction but how, like like where do you guys stand now? Well, you know what? It did not end well. That's pretty much been public.
I was was surprised it ended for the guy that was running ESPN at that time who ended it. John Skipper and Greeny wanted to go do his own thing.
So I was surprised it ended. And obviously it's been pretty documented.'t like the way it ended uh and and how it went about i would say greeny and i and we've seen each other since but you know he does the morning show with get up and i do you know was doing the morning show so we would have really no interaction in the morning we always lived far away from one another and outside of even mike and mike we never really hung His kids were, weren't even born when we started the show.
So we never really had a lot in common. And I think that's one of the things that helped make Mike and Mike work a little bit was we, we were, we were so different.
So quite honestly, the way it ended, when we see each other, we've seen each other at the Super Bowls, we're cordial. But that, that's pretty much it.
In all honesty, there, there really isn't much of a relationship anymore. It's a shame anymore.
It's a shame, but that's just the way it goes sometimes, and that's just where it is now. Who knows what the future holds, but right now that's pretty much where it is.
I respect your approach to all this because this time around as well, you said that you were kind of blindsided, and you found out on Twitter, right, that the show ending. What is there a part of you that holds a little bit of resentment where you're like, you know, I put in years and years and years of this company and greenie kind of that ended not well.
And greenie went, went and got his big set in New York city. And then this, this iteration you find out on Twitter, is there a part of you that has resentment or are you you like, listen, I'm blessed.
I have bigger things. My life is pretty damn good.
Well, I mean, listen, I can be very focused on that or you can have a lot of emotions. And I mean, I'm human.
So you do it for this long. And I guess it's wrong to expect.
Expect is the wrong word. There were thoughts.
There had been talks that they weren't sure what they were going to do with the morning show. And I've always been, for the 20 years there and actually my whole life, I've been a say-it-to-my-face guy, let me know, behind closed doors, whatever, I'm not a locker room talker.
Tell me what's going on. And the thought was, well, we're not sure what we're going to do.
And I'm like, well, if you're sure I'm not going to be back and you were looking somewhere, just tell me. And they said, well, you know, we're not sure what we're going to do right now.
And it was basically one of the media guys writing an article that basically had said, you know, it's going to be a different show. And I was just like, my God, I mean, just let me know.
I've had some of the toughest coaches in the world tell me I suck on film. You're not going to hurt my feelings.
You know what? I may not like what I hear, but I mean, just tell me. So yes, that did not go well.
And in all honesty, the people that were involved in that decision, when I finally did talk to them, I let them know how I felt. And I've always been a guy that was going to do that.
And I didn't talk about that to the media or anything. I said, I'll handle it the way I want to handle it.
But then as far as am I bitter, I'm a little bummed it ended that way. But then the reality of it is I was cut twice in the NFL.
I was cut by the Houston Oilers. And then I was cut my last team, the Miami Dolphins.
And I didn't agree with me being cut both times. And I told the coach that, but you know what? It didn't matter.
They didn't care what I had to say. That's what they wanted to do.
So that's the way I look at it. While I wish it would have ended differently, we know it all ends at some point.
So it ended this way. I wasn't overly happy about it, but I couldn't control that.
So I looked at it that way. You know, the ESPN, you know, brass decided that they wanted to cut me from the morning show.
I didn't agree with it. I told them I didn't agree with it.
I told them I think it's the wrong move, but it doesn't matter what I think. It didn't matter that I said that.
They were like the coach and they said, it's going to be over. So, you know, you can't sit there and, you know, kick rocks and keep your kick rocks and keep your head down it's like all right well you know I know I'm not done in this business I'm going to keep going and I'm under contract with ESPN till the end of the year so I actually you know it's weird you know a lot of people are like man just sit there and take their money and you know that's the way it works it's just reality I get paid until the end of the year whether I sit on my ass or what but I didn't want to do that I'm like I want to do something you know I just want to sit there so I actually went to them and I said let me call college games again that's what I first did when I got out of the NFL is I called college games before I even started doing studio shows or radio so and they were like okay you know well you can you do that now we don't even know obviously we're going through the whole college football thing so we'll see how that plays out and then at the end of the year we'll see where it goes but uh yeah i don't i don't plan on retiring that's for sure i respect it though i mean that's it's a classy thing and i think it's um it's it's kind of rare today because there's you know like we go back to the internet the And, uh, I, I respect the hell out of doing it.
Like you're doing it and face to face and, and not spilling tea everywhere and telling everyone, you know, this is how I feel and not hiding that, you know, and it's not, it's the way I was brought up quite honestly, I'm just kind of doing what my parents kind of taught me. And in all honesty, it just, I just do it because that's the way I learned to do it.
And I hope my kids do it that way as well. And I've already seen cases where they do, you know, where, again, listen, we're all grownups here.
I mean, we can take criticism. That's one of the things sometimes is like, they don't, people don't think you can take criticism.
Just let's be upfront, man. You know, we don't always have to agree on everything, but let's just know where you stand.
I've always said that about a coach. Just tell me where I stand.
I may not like where you think I stand, but at least then I know where I stand and I know what I have to work on if I'm going to continue to be on your team, whatever team that is in sports or in life. So it's the way I was raised and it's the way I try and raise my kids as well.
Yeah. And with the relationship that you had with Green, he was 17, 18 years, I believe on the air together.
You know, that that's a long time. That's a relationship.
That's longer than most marriages last at that point. So I was wondering if you had any advice for us, because we have a similar dynamic going on where I'm an athlete, I work with a big J journalist.
And so sometimes, you know, we butt heads over that over who's the nerd, who's the jock. Do you have any advice for us about how to keep our relationship fresh over 17, 18 years? Well, you know what we would for Green and I what we always did.
And it's so weird, because you do talk about it like a couple. It's like, it's like me and my wife.
We never, we never go to bed angry. If something happens during that day, you square it out before your head hits the pillow.
And for Greeny and I, you know, we certainly obviously talked as the show was getting going and, you know, he was open to bringing his family in it. We knew we didn't want to be kind of a blue type of a morning show um we weren't going to do that disney probably wouldn't really like that anyway but we didn't want to go down that road um so basically you know for greenie and i it was just don't take things personal with one another you know for for the run that we had the ending's a different thing that the end of the show.
But as far as what you're talking about is, as far as partners in the show, we disagreed plenty, you know, on air and on the show. But we never took it personal with each other.
So it's not like ever after a show where we disagreed on something that we went home that day mad at one another. We realized it was a show.
It was our opinions. And we respected each other's opinions because we did come at it from two different sides the side of an athlete the side of a journalist so there was some disagreement in the way we looked at things but I think that really helped the show but that's what I would say to to anybody you know starting out uh in this or or going on like you guys are going is just just make sure that you know where your line is between everybody so you don't cross anything personal on air that nobody wants like if if you don't want you know your kid involved on air the other person don't talk about your kid on air you know you have have those kind of things set and just understand there's going to be differences and and like any good couple man when you and your head hits a pillow at night don't go to bed angry yeah usually pft scratches my back at night i tickle it yeah um there you go i'm going to do this ad for you guys in the mike greenberg voice right now in honor of mike and mike and uh michael being the guest most guys have tried hi it's me mike greenberg welcome back to mike and mike most guys have tried different ways to last longer but thinking thinking about baseball doesn't always work.
I bust faster when I think about baseball. People forget that baseball, horse racing and boxing used to be the most popular sports in America.
I mention that every episode, but Roman swipes is the secret to longer lasting sex. My wife loves it when I swipe a Roman right underneath my little peepee because I last for forever.
They're a clinically proven way to last longer in bed. They're effective, easy to use, and fast acting, but they don't require a prescription.
I'm just going to go back. Roman can ship these swipes to you in discreet, unmarked packaging, and each swipes packet is small enough to hide in your wallet for whenever you need it.
My wallet is so thick with all the money that I make because I left Mike and Mike, I don't know if I can fit one in there. You sure can, Greeny.
They're super easy to use. Just take the swipes out of the packet, swipe it on, let it dry, and you're good to go.
That's it. So go to getroman.com slash take.
That's getroman.com slash take. You can get your first month of swipes for just five bucks when you choose a monthly plan.
That's getroman.com slash take. Now back to more Mike Golickick since you it's been a week and a half like we said i assume that you have a lot of thoughts on what's happened this past week in college football as a guy who played college football your brothers played college football your son played college your sons played college football where do you stand on the big 10 canceling their the Pac-12 canceling their season? If Mike Jr.
was still at Notre Dame right now, would you be like, we got to play this season? Or would you say, hey, let's listen to the president and the experts and, you know, shut it all down? Well, as a parent, my only role would be what I – because these players don't have a union to help them. Right.
So a lot of the players, you know, they have their parents to help decide what they want to do. I would have sent both Mike and Jake to Notre Dame.
I said, go there, follow their guidelines. And if they cancel the season, there's nothing I can do about that.
I don't have a say in it. Neither would Mike or Jake or neither do these players have a say in it.
But I would send them, yes. I would say go and follow the protocols, follow the procedures.
Again, trying to tell an 18 to 22-year-old, be smart on campus. That's difficult to do.
But I credit those schools that have had a lot of testing and very few positive tests. But in all honesty, they could be in the bubble right now, much like you see the NBA and WNBA and MLS and NHL in a bubble.
That's kind of where the colleges were when the athletes went back on campus to work out. They were in the athletic bubble.
But now that's going to change if students are allowed on campus. All of a sudden, you're adding, you know, thousands of students.
So that game may change a little bit. I would absolutely have sent my kids, and then they would follow the protocols and just have to listen to whatever was going on.
It seemed now, again, I'm not in these conversations, but I'm not sure, and I'd like to hear from the Pac-12 and the Big Ten why you decided it now. What made you have this decision now? Because it's conference play, we already know the ACC was already going to push back a week to September 12th.
The SEC wasn't starting until I think the 26th. So you can give yourself a little bit more of a runway to see where this is going to go.
So unless – and I haven't heard – I don't know if you guys have heard, but I have not heard from the PAC 12 or big 10, uh, uh, the commissioners.
Why? to see where this is going to go. So unless, and I haven't heard, I don't know if you guys have heard, but I have not heard from the Pac-12 or Big Ten, the commissioners, why did you feel you need to make the decision now and not give it a little more runway? That would be one of my first questions.
Yeah, I don't think that there's an answer to that yet. I think most conferences find themselves in the position of, you know, we learn something new every week, and so the longer I can delay this from starting, the more information we're going to have.
The Big Ten kind of painted themselves into a corner by saying, not only are we not playing, but we're also going to do spring football. Do you see any logistical way that spring football can happen? Let me put it this way.
The pros who get paid a hell of a lot of money. These are adults.
These are men with family.
These are people that have a union.
Their league says two teams play in February, right?
Two teams playing the Superbowl.
Everybody's done before that.
So just take the two teams in the Superbowl,
forgetting the teams that are done at the end of the regular season and then losing the playoffs.
The next time those two teams in the Superbowl in February, put pads on is the end of the regular season and then losing the playoffs. The next time those two teams in the Super Bowl in February put pads on is the end of July.
So do your math, March, April, May, June, July. That's five months for just two teams.
It's even longer for the other 30 teams, right, before they even put pads on again. You're talking about putting kids in pads, and I know they do it for spring football, 15 practices and then a spring game, which can be whatever it is.
It's not a playing against other teams on a season, quote unquote. So now they're going to play a spring season, and they're going to play till April, maybe May, hitting another team.
So playing full contact football, not a spring game, but playing against other
teams. So now you're into May.
You know when they put on pads the next season? August,
the beginning of August, June, July, beginning of August, a little over two months for student
athletes. And I'm doing air quotes, student athletes, you're giving them two and a half
months of recovery time of which in that recovery time, you have to start your workouts again after you try and recover from playing a season. So that is a ludicrous thought to say, oh, yeah, the pros are getting over five months off before they put on pads, and you're going to do it to college students in two and a half months, forgetting even the fact you won't have it.
Now, people will watch if there's football. Don't get me wrong.
There's the fan side and the player side, and the players are still going to want to play because, hell, when you're 18, 19, 20, you just want to play ball. The one thing you are going to miss is you won't have one big player, one top player, right, would you? Why would Justin Fields, Trevor Lawrence, any big-time player, they're not playing in the spring because the NFL is under no guidelines to move their draft back to help out the NFL is going to do what they want to do even if they move their draft back those guys aren't playing so that to me someone answered me that question right the pros get five and a half months off and college kids your college players are given two and a half months off from pad to pad.
I think they're just giving us false hope, and that's kind of been the whole thing. I'm okay with false hope, though.
Actually, in a weird way, I'm okay with false hope, too. I think it sucks to say, but the SEC and the ACC and the Big 12, it feels like they're almost false hope where somewhere in mid-September they can kind of make the argument, well, we tried our hardest, and we went as far as we could.
We went a month longer than the Big 10 in the Pac-12, and we kind of came to the same conclusion. I hope that's not true.
I hope we can get some college football, but it just feels like that. One thing I don't think you're considering, Mike, is that there's a good possibility that dame could play on st patrick's day if the acc moved everything to the spring and i'm just looking forward to drinking a shitload of beer before that game listen i'm hammered anyway so it doesn't affect me you know it's just you know what it is it's another day that ends in y where i get to drink beer and this time it's green so i'm cool with it there you go one thing one thing i have noticed over the years is that you've kind of you've evolved your stance in particular on looking at the NCAA and looking at the whole notion of student athletes and maybe how there's an exploitation there was that was that largely in part from watching your sons and daughters go through the system or was that something that came about by talking to you know administrators and other people around sports I I think it was an evolution of all of that, of seeing where the game is going, see the money involved in the game, certainly seeing my kids.
Now, listen, I didn't come from a lot of money at all. If I had 10 bucks in my pocket when I was at Notre Dame, I was lucky.
But, you know, we all managed just fine. You know, now my kids were fortunate enough to be in a different situation because things were going well, you know, for me where I was working to make money for them to have it.
But a lot of kids don't. A lot of players don't.
And I saw a lot of that as well. Now, as I said, and you're right, it has changed a little bit because I had always said, listen, we all did it in the 80s.
They did it in the 70s. My brother, Bob, did it in the 70s.
People did it before that. You go there, you get fed there, you get your meals, you get a free education, and only 1% move on to the NFL.
The rest of you have a great education, and the first time you get a paycheck, none of it has to go to paying back any kind of student loan. So there are positives to that.
So you're right. For a while, I was like, man, they get a lot.
And I do think they do still get – you can't just, you know, discount a scholarship and what it means, again, for those that have to go into the real world because most are not going into pro sports, that you don't have a student assistance to pay off. There is something to that.
But as you watch it more and more and see the money out there, listen, I just thought, okay, is there a way? And the way I like it with the name, image, and likeness is you're not taking it because the first thing that worried me because Sydney was a swimmer, a lot of her friends were soccer players. A lot of Mike and Jake's friends were lacrosse players.
If the schools have to pay all the athletes, then you're looking at the possibility of schools trying to justify the money by saying we have to cut other sports. And those are the sports that get cut.
Like my wrestling program in Notre Dame was cut a few years after I left. But you're going to start cutting track and field and swimming and lacrosse and all that.
So name, image and likeness, that money isn't coming from the school. So they can't cry poor.
You know, a lot of them, they couldn't cry poor anyway, even if they had to pay players. But I didn't want to go down that road where every school had to do it.
And they legitimately had to cut some other sports because you know what? The swimmers, the lacrosse players, the volleyball the volleyball players the soccer players they work just as hard as the football players and basketball players just as hard sometimes harder but theirs isn't a revenue sport that's that's just the way it is theirs doesn't make the money so they're always on the chopping block and while I understand that I'd like to see them in a position for name image and likeness now they're not, they're not going to get a ton of money. I don't know.
There's going to be very, very few, even once that goes through, that will get a ton of money, but it'd be nice to see the trickle down of some people in all the different sports being able to take advantage of. Yeah.
I have one last hard question for you. Then I'll wrap up with an easy one.
So your son, your son mike gold jr who we consider a friend i think is is very talented but obviously people on the outside are going to say nepotism and they say he got a job because of dad what what advice do you give to him in that situation knowing that he's he's good on his own merit but he has to prove himself even more because of his last name. His full name, actually.
Yes. knowing that he's good on his own merit, but he has to prove himself even more because of his last name.
His full name, actually. Yes, exactly.
And listen, the biggest mistake I made once we both work for the same company is when we have to do trips for flights for the company. I never should have gave him my same name.
We get screwed up all the time on that. Because I would have been fortunate enough to to fly first class and sometimes he'll get it and i won't and that's just not acceptable no but honestly no but to answer that question he is so smart and he understands he knows he got his shot because of the name he understands that and he knows because of that that he has to prove himself and the one thing i i'd like people to understand is if he wasn't good on the air, they weren't going to keep him on the air.
Because what it can do, and I'll make a bigger reference here, it gets you a chance. And then what do you make with that chance? If you're not good, then you're not going to continue with that chance.
It doesn't work that way. So Mike has been great because he disarms it.
He's like me, very self-deprecating and he will admit it. Or if somebody comes after him for it, he will be self-deprecating about it.
And what that does, it just kind of disarms everybody. It's like, well, okay, he's kind of ripping himself.
So I guess there's no reason for me to really rip him anymore. And here's the way I look at it as well.
You know, just let's just take our school, Notre Dame, take anybody's college. When you graduate college, you have a you have a kind of a network, right, of people who work in the real world from that graduated from from college.
You know, I'll just take Notre Dame. If a Notre Dame student is trying to get a job, they'll put them in touch with maybe a Notre Dame grad who works in that field.
And a lot of times, and we know this is how it works, that student, that graduating student, they may get a break because it's a Notre Dame alum working in this job that gives them a job, correct? I mean, this happens all the time. Class ring, just show the class ring, baby.
I mean, it happens. So what it does, it gives them an opportunity because they were a Notre Dame grad and they're no someone from Notre Dame in a business.
So they get a chance. And this is true for pick a school, name a school for the alumni to help out for those people to get a job.
And then they have a chance. And then if you perform in the job, you keep it.
If you don't, then you don't. So I'm not fully admit he got his chance sooner rather than later because of the last name, and it was up to him to make the most of it.
There was pressure on him for it. He knew he had to deal with it.
I think he deals with it well, and I think he does a great job. He speaks better than I do, and he's smarter than I am.
But I'm his dad, so people are going to say, well, you're his father. You're going to say that.
But looking at it as a person in the industry, he's really good at what he does, so that's going to take care of itself. they'll always be the people out there that are going to say that but looking at it as a person in the industry he's really good at what he does so that's going to take care of itself although always be the people out there they're going to say you got it because of this or that and he'll be the first one to say yep that's right i did and i knew i had to make the most of it to try and keep work keep my job yeah i i also like how when they first introduced him at espn they kind of they made him earn it a little bit they put him on at like i don't know they know, they like locked him in a room with Stu Gatz at 2am every morning or something like that, which I mean, they're before the grace of God go out.
But it was, it was a situation where he wasn't like immediately put into primetime or anything like that. So it was like, okay, if you can make these overnight time slots work, then eventually we'll bump you up.
And he cut his teeth that way. He did four to six.
He went, it was first and last before jason fits took it over mike did first and last and then he would do the first hour of our show and then that eventually led to all four hours on our show and and jason fits doing first and last so you're right he had to cut his teeth doing that he actually before he even did that his first gig he went on with the um sunday after or morning fantasy football guys the field Yates's of the world and Stefania Bell's of the world and Matthew Berry's of the world he would be on for four hours with those guys on Sunday morning he did that for a while before he even got the four to six gig and started that and then probably I mean you guys know hell you'll know when I say it then he did that frigging show on Sunday morning with Stu Gotts. Now all of a sudden, Stu Gotts is mentoring my son.
I'm like, oh my God, what am I doing here? You know, what direction is he going to go in now? So I just had to kind of put my blinders on and close my eyes on that one. But now, Stu's been great for him.
They had a lot of fun doing that. I think they're going to actually start that up again because podcasts of the world, hell, that's what I'm doing now with my family.
We do our sorry in advance, a go with family podcast where, where, you know, there's so many bleeps in it because of my daughter, Sydney, my God, it's unbelievable, but it's a lot of fun to get the family together and just kind of talk about life. Yeah.
So I want to ask about the, uh, the transition from greenie to Trey. So did you have to forget every harry met sally quote and kind of update your brain to just start thinking in terms of anchorman and stepbrothers and any will ferrell movie to understand the references yes it was very different because greenie and i literally when he sat down and when as i said we were auditioning there were 13 people that were up to be my co-host after Tony Bruno left.
And Greeny was not one of them. Greeny was just filling in for a day or two until the next quote unquote candidate sat down.
But Greeny and I just clicked chemistry wise really well. You know, the nerd and the athlete, you know, we kind of, we kind of played that game and it turned out working real well now with Trey I now so that's the first time Greeny and I even met was when he sat down and did that show we did one or two more and then all of a sudden we were doing a show together and we had we didn't even know barely knew one another Trey and I have known had known each other since 2003 because after um I first started out with Mark Malone Sean Salisbury and Merrill Hodge and it was NFL Tonight then and then Malone left and then eventually Trey took over it was NFL Live I was doing college football games Mike and Mike and NFL Live and Trey was a host for years and Trey lived five minutes from me in Connecticut oh uh, see any Bears? Yes.
Oh, yeah. Okay, all right.
Well played. Yes.
Yes, yes, I do see Bears. So we knew each other.
So we had a relationship and we were more alike personality-wise. And you're right, it was different being a TV anchor as opposed to Greeny Moore, the journalist.
So it was different in the fact that Trey and I knew each other for so many years before we even started.
Do you buy his explanation about the bear?
Oh, that it was that day and not an old picture?
Well, I think he said that it was an old picture. The bear came to his porch that day.
He says he didn't mean for people to interpret the picture of the bear that he put up as being like, this is the bear that I just saw. He just found a picture of a bear.
I have seen bears on his property because where his house is, I've been to his house and where his woods are. I have seen bears.
I have seen his dogs by the bear. So if and now that particular bear, I don't know if that was, but I have seen bears on his property.
Yes. Okay.
Okay. I'm still dubious to the bear claims.
Yeah. Yeah.
I think, I think you and a lot of people, you know what? I just, it's one of those things. I just let lay with Trey.
Well, you know, Trey gets to smoking his weed and all that stuff. It's hard to keep track of where his brain's at.
I'll let you guys try and get that out of him. Yes, yes.
We have many, many times. Alright, so I have one last question.
It's the MeUndies soft question of the day. Go to MeUndies.com slash PMT to get 15% off your first purchase.
So, I, when you were doing your last show, Twitter and Instagram, they were doing flashbacks and it was really cool to see your whole career but I noticed something you and I share a similarity in that our weight yo-yos drastically so have you looked back and been like holy shit like I'm fat I'm skinny I'm fat I'm skinny I'm never really skinny but like you know what I mean like it it's it's to see it. What's your secret to always putting the weight back on like I do? Well, first and foremost, I remember one of the few times ago I saw you guys.
You guys were both walking around with big and freaking jugs of water. You guys were doing some crazy thing.
Oh, ketosis. What the hell? Yeah.
Our nutritionist had us pissing out fat. Yes.
I remember that you were your gallon jugs of water walking around drinking. Listen, I was a badass.
There was no doubt about it. I finished playing at 31, 32 years old.
I was 300 pounds and I thought I was in decent shape. And I would say and I hated working out when I was done.
I stopped working out, but I kept eating. And a few years later, I literally walked out of the shower, caught my glimpse in the mirror, and I was like, what the fuck? I looked like a vanilla milkshake.
It was disgusting. I was like 315 sloppy pounds.
And I'm like, all right, just for my health, I got to lose some weight. So I got down into the 290s, and then I was in my early 40s.
And Mike and Mike was obviously going on. And I was diagnosed as a type 2 diabetic.
And my dad was as well. So it didn't overly shock me, being the size I was, and it was in my family.
So I'm like, all right, I know I got to lose weight more. So I got down into the 60s, but I jumped to the 80s and the 60s.
And I said, I got to really get serious about it.
So I did.
And through the help of my wife, without question, I mean, the biggest thing, and I'm sure you
go through it as well, is snacking.
She got rid of all the bullshit snacks in the house.
So it was more clean eating.
And I'm like 235, 240 now.
And I'm like my high school weight.
And I feel great.
I've had 12 surgeries total, but I've had stem cell on my knee and shoulders to where I can now run and lift again. I feel like I'm in great shape.
And the good thing is because of the yo-yo, you're right, is I've held this weight for about five years now at about 235, 240. So I feel really good, but I was certainly big boned.
Is that the term we use well fluffy it's it's good to be able to be when you're when you're at your lightest to be looking back at pictures and being like oh look at that fat ass it sucks alternatively when you're at one of your heaviest but you can look back and be like oh that was when i was doing well on my diet holy shit how how fat have i gotten yeah what happened well what I did is when we look back at some, and you're right, there were so many pictures out of memories and stuff. I would look at my wife.
I said, why wouldn't you tell me what a badass I was? I mean, you'd live with me every day. She goes, I didn't think you were that big.
I said, look at me. I said, I'm a fucking donut away from exploding.
I mean, say something to me, you know? But so, like I said,'m a fucking donut away from exploding I mean say something to me You know But so like I said I feel great now I probably eat 80, 85 good 10, 15 bad Listen I still love my sweets I still love my beer But I just do it a little more moderation To try and keep it down And you know I want to deal well with my type 2 diabetes And you know be around for a while to aggravate my kids because that's my job now yes yes that's gonna be tough yeah maybe you're not tweeting out snacking yeah that's a tough one for you i i'm in i'm in the torture chamber now of of my son is now eating like real food so it's just like here goldfish for you 10 for me and leftovers now you're Now you're in the world of leftovers. And see, I'm out of that spot now because when I was in that spot, it's exactly right.
You know, if I had a snack, it wasn't one peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It was two.
It wasn't one bowl of cereal. It was two.
I mean, for God's sake, when I was feeding my kids the pineapple delight, it was called the baby food. Shit, I was eating that.
It was so good. So, yeah, you're in a bad spot.
It takes way more discipline, something I don't think you have at all, to be able to do it. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry to say. No, I'll be up again.
Listen, when I get down, I know that it's just a ticking time bomb until I get back up. So, we'll see.
Just trying to delay it as long. This, this has been awesome.
We really appreciate you joining us. You're welcome anytime.
So listen, I love you guys. I respect the hell out of you guys.
I love what you do. So, and yeah, anytime you want, man, I'm looking, I got to get my takes going somewhere now.
It's all bottled up now. I actually, what you need to start doing is writing them down and then maybe like once a month, we'll just you just rattle them off and then it would be even funnier if it's like, you know, you're like, I think this Blazers team is probably going to win the title and they don't even make the playoffs so we can do retroactive tapes.
I was told there'd be no writing. Once college is over, I'm done writing.
Sorry, it doesn't happen anymore. Yeah.
Love it. Well, thank you very much for joining us.
I have one last question. Over the course of those 20 years you were on the radio, this was an ongoing saga.
As I mentioned, I was a listener. I was a frequent listener.
How many times did you wash your coffee cup? Oh, man. Wow.
I probably, I'll be honest, I probably took it home three times to actually run through the actual dishwasher. Other than that, I would just rinse it out with water and just leave it on my desk.
Sometimes I wouldn't even rinse it out with water. So 22 years and probably got put in the dishwasher three times.
It was nasty. That's disgusting.
No, I don't think that's nasty. If it's coffee, it adds to the seasoning of the ceramic.
It doesn't really do any harm. Listen, I'm also one of those guys that I'm not afraid to eat some dirt or some germs.
I think it helps my immune system. I agree with that.
I agree with that. Well, Mike, thank you so much.
Give our best to the rest of the family. We love the Golicks, and we'll hopefully talk soon.
Sounds good. Thanks, guys.
you need to protect your home, none of the drawbacks of traditional home security. You know, one of the worst parts about getting a home security system is inviting a stranger into your house to install it.
That doesn't feel very safe to me. Simply Safe has an arsenal of sensors and cameras to blanket every room, window, and door tailored specifically for your home.
Professional monitoring is going to keep watch day and night, ready to send police, fire, or medical professionals if there's any emergency. And best of all, you can set it up yourself in under an hour.
Just peel and stick the sensors exactly where you need them. No technician required.
And there's no contract. There's no pushy sales guys.
There's no hidden fees. There's no fine print.
And all this starts at just $15 a month. I'm not the only one who thinks that SimpliSafe is great.
U.S. News and World Report named it the best overall home security system of 2020.
That's SimpliSafe, and you can try it today. SimpliSafe.com slash PMT.
Get free shipping and a 60-day risk-free trial. There's nothing to lose.
That's SimpliSafe.com slash PMT. Okay, let's wrap up.
We're going to have Joey Molinaro in here for a second, or in a second to roast quickly just go through Billy's list. I actually only wanted to talk about one thing on Billy's list.
Steve-O duct taped himself to a billboard in Los Angeles. That was cool, but no, I wanted to talk about number seven on Billy's list.
Billy now is running out of topics. He copy and pasted an ad that says, Sideline Reporter is more interesting than the game.
It's just a chick's ass. I put those in every list.
Do you know that I put one of those in? Ads? No, like one of those click-baity things in every list. Wow, I guess.
Like three days. Well, that says a lot about me.
I didn't notice those in the ass one. Exactly.
Damn. I am a follower of Big Dumpers.
You don't actually look the whole list. Yeah, all right.
So, Steve-O, that was pretty awesome. And also, you see Brooks said he regrets some of his – let me read this.
Brooks said, I honestly was struggling coming down the end of the third round. I was well back, and I saw DJ was at minus nine.
I birdied to go minus seven. I was focused on Dustin.
I had no idea who was minus eight or with me at seven. To be honest, when I'm looking at leaderboard, I'm never looking who is behind me or tied with me.
I only look ahead. I view myself as going forward no matter what, so I regret that part of it.
That's what I was trying to say, that I didn't know who was on the leaderboard at the point because I hadn't looked. I just genuinely didn't know the guys at eight and seven.
See, this is what we said. People are going to go after our guy Brooks.
Brooks, he's focused on who's in front of him he's not there to finish second the fucking haters man they're it's sick i think that's where some of the cocky stuff comes from because i always think i can win i truly believe it yep and you know what i this is an asterisk major championship there are no no fans in attendance i think brooks feeds off that crowd energy yes most guys the moment gets too big for him. So this is Brooks is playing with like a four stroke handicap, one stroke per round when he would just like nut out an Eagle.
Yeah. And instead settle for a birdie.
It's because there's no fans to entertain. He's a people's golfer.
It sucks that people are going to hate him, but we know the real truth. And then also Billy, did you make this chart? I found that on Reddit.
Oh, okay.
I was going to give you credit because Jason Derulo thought Cats would change the world. And then there's a chart that says release of Cats movie.
And then it goes down. It says things going to shit.
December 2019. 2019.
So, yeah, everything went to shit. The world went to shit.
Damn. Okay.
That sucks. Okay, we're're gonna finish up the show the week with uh first time on the show our friend joey molinaro the fantasy fuck boy come to real life but no if you don't follow him he is hilarious he's been at barstool now for i don't know like three four months? Yeah.
Pretty much right when shit went to shit. Yes.
That's when you signed. He's based out of Indianapolis, but he's here in New York this week.
He's going to be here often in the fall. Very, very, very, very funny, so go follow him.
He's also got Cup of Joey that comes out on Monday mornings. Possibly Ian Happ coming up? Yeah.
Okay, so everyone listen to that. So we're going to have, Joey does unbelievable impressions.
We had people roast us as Colin Coward analogies. And give it a shot.
If it's weird, you can just start going back to your regular voice, but I think this will be good. Okay, thanks, Big Cat, for that intro.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ah! This is The Herd.
PFT looks like a god combined with every guy who has ever sat on a college lawn playing guitar and brought their hotness score down by four. That's pretty good.
A fake tough guy claims Twitch comments don't affect him as he consistently plays into their hands and the non-dad cracks. Wait, wait, wait.
What the fuck is this? Yeah, they don't always. They write like Hank.
Yeah. The grammar is always bad on those.
I think they do it on purpose to make me or Hank look bad. Not a lot of punctuation going on.
That actually makes sense. I think that.
So maybe Hank is actually a genius and it's just that everything he has to read is bad. I also could have edited these before sending to you.
No, that's OK. So you can just finish that one of your regular ones.
OK, a fake. Yeah, because I don't know what's a fake.
Tough guy claims Twitch comments don't affect him as he consistently plays into their hands. And the non dad cracks dad jokes, which only gets sympathy laughs from the intern.
That's PFT they bully because he didn't get it yeah billy i think he's talking about yeah he's talking about billy there no i'm i'm the fake tough guy you're not affected by twitch you know no pft is the non-dad who makes dad jokes you're the guy that doesn't get the jokes that don't make sense right but you laugh anyway you cheese about the non-dad dad jokes. Let me shift gears with this.
Two guys with failed first careers converse with the internet. Adopt an illiterate college dropout, Billy.
Darren Revell, a steroid using... Oh, wait.
No, no, no. Oh, no.
That's not Billy. That's Hank.
That's Hank. Hank is the illiterate college dropout.
Billy is a steroid-using D3 special teams player and a colorless cameraman.
Liam.
And they fight against ghosts as they try to make up new content during a lockdown while their fans only say they aren't as good as they used to be.
Yep.
In fact, it is interesting, though, that you have to specify in the future over which illiterate person on the podcast that you're referring to. Yes, there are many.
Let me start with this. Melissa Etheridge, you guys know her, and Fat Liner gamble away their $750,000 podcast checks while their least favorite wine receiver asks them to tell them about the rabbits that's you it's a mice and men joke you're the tall stupid you're literally challenged guy that we're gonna kill one day big jj also hold on big jj also if hank shaved he'd look like a bob's burgers character that's good bob, Fox.
That's really good.
A dad who drank too much Slimfast, Big Cat, and a crystal meth-addicted kid rock pursue their dream.
Oh, wait, wait.
That's on me.
That's on me there.
By the way, crystal meth-addicted kid rock is redundant.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You just have to say kid rock.
Exactly.
So we can just say kid rock pursue their dream of playing Dungeons & Dragons instead of talking about football. Not enough football talk.
A lot of football going on right now. Okay.
How about this one, Joy? PFT? Where's PFT? Sorry, I couldn't see him behind that 5'7 grain of rice. I've also seen that.
Boom roasted. One more here for you guys.
I feel like I see a Hank outside every local AA meeting. PFT looks like a hungover sorority girl from a bottom-tier house.
And Big Cat? Yeah, yeah, you know Big Cat. Big Cat's mustache just shaved the stash.
You'll never be Mike Ditka. Okay.
Okay. And then the last one here.
Based off of Big Cat's inferiority complex to PFT, I'll bet his dick is the same length as Billy's college football highlights. Oh.
That was a ricochet shot that went sideways on you. This hurt.
Just played no D, Billy. That was fantastic.
Joey, hold on, hold on.
I don't think... I was going to ask.
Jake, send me one more
and I could do like Coach O or something.
Sorry, I'm kind of taking over here.
I want to hear the Coach O.
Yeah.
Sorry, Big Cat.
What were you saying now?
Oh, I was going to say,
how is the first six months
of partial bet?
It's been great, man.
I like being in the office better than just like working from my apartment a schmuck just on my own. Yeah.
But you got family. You got cats.
You got three cats. Three cats.
You're bordering on becoming a crazy cat person. Not bordering.
No, he's there. He's a cat guy.
Three cats. Yeah, you're a cat guy, but if you get one more, then you're a crazy cat guy.
He has a tattoo of his cat. He's a crazy cat guy.
You have a tattoo of your cat. I have a tattoo of representing all three of the cats.
Billy has something to say, but I'll just speak for Billy. Billy, get him.
He's just about to know. I've actually met his cats, and they're actually giant and kind of cool.
Oh, so they're alpha cats. They're Marlins Man style cats.
I got one that one that is a definite alpha cat yeah and then one's just a bitch but uh remy big alpha cat okay i that was in my intro video i was like i'm ready for big cat to meet my little cat yes i my favorite thing is whenever a cat person is like i got a cat but it's so cool it's busy a dog it's like well you could just get a dog a It'll always be a dog. But you never have to teach your cat how to shit or where to shit or piss.
Yeah, okay, that's true. It's in your house.
It's true. You literally set it up and then they just magically know it's insane.
You're right. In your defense, you're right.
It did take like, I don't know, two days for me to have to teach Sheldon where to shit. This is going to be a tough win.
It was two days of my life. I i do i have like uh the death star basically in my fucking you don't know you're not a star wars guy so yeah yeah but uh what is that like no what do you what do you mean you have the death star like i have a the death star version of a litter box and it like literally it works on its own you just all right You know what? I'm flipping because you've owned the cat guy thing so much being like,
I'm going to combine my three cats and Star Wars.
I'm back on your side.
Thank you.
Okay, big cat on with the cat guy.
Gotta love it.
Here we go.
Coach O with the last one.
Five glizzy guzzlers use incomprehensible behavior to land megastar guests. And mold the youth of America through D&D and dip spit.
Go Tigers. I love it.
All right, we'll see everyone on Monday. Thanks, guys.
Love you, guys. Billy? I've been having a lot of thoughts lately.
First thing is we had that comment from the UMass football coach about how mourning the loss of football has been really hard. Let me just tell you something.
There's a time in every football guy's life where he becomes a football guy, where football is the only constant in their life. That's where true grit is born.
When everything around you is hectic, crazy, stressful, football is the only constant. I think this also applies to Football Guys, guys.
And with this, the only thing I have to look forward to anymore now that football is canceled is drinking pre-workout, video games, working out. And I would like to give you permission to get absolutely bombed on How much is it going to cut? They're all the same.
Yeah, they're all the same. You've given the same talk like the last 10.
There's no more football. And he just keeps cutting.
I've been thinking a lot about. You actually run those? I'm thinking about the fact that I just football isn't in this anymore.
Billy, just talk about an animal or something. Mix it up.
Let's end this one.
Next week, come with something real.
Write something out. Dinosuchus is a giant
crocodilian species that
lived in North America circa 65
million years ago. It was basically
a giant alligator.
Love you guys.
PFT doesn't love you anymore. He doesn't say it.
I do. I already said it.
Remember who loves you.
I already said it.