Pardon My Take

Steve-O, CFB On The Ropes And The PGA Championship

August 10, 2020 1h 45m Explicit

College Football is officially on the ropes. We talk about the lack of a cool billionaire to come save the day really fucking sucks and why cancelling the CFB season may not be as smart as people think (2:56 - 17:45). PGA Champion Colin Morikawa turned a thrilling tourney into a cakewalk on the final 2 holes (17:45 - 24:38). Who’s back of the week (24:38 - 36:38). Steve-O joins the show to talk about his new special, Jackass, his favorite stunt, how stunts get assigned and how he can puke just from thinking about puking (36:38.- 86:31). Segments include hockey talk, this league, and Billy’s list


You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/pardon-my-take

Listen and Follow Along

Full Transcript

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we have Steve-O. Awesome, awesome interview.
Probably the hardest that PFT and I have ever fanboyed out. We've had a lot of big guests, but Steve-O, we basically went Chris Farley like, Hey dude, remember that time that Preston farted into a tube and then you puked? Or remember that time you got bit by an alligator? Awesome time, though, with him.
He's got a new special out. He gives us a lot of behind-the-scenes stuff.
So get ready for that. Also, maybe if you're listening in a car with kids, don't listen to the whole thing because there's some Steve-O stuff.
They have to learn sooner or later. Steve-O stuff.
Yeah, I mean, they'll walk away from that saying... He ate Chris Pontius' cum.
Maybe I should light myself on fire more often. I'll say it now so that way when it gets said, it doesn't feel as jarring.
We have news around the sports world. We have the PGA Championship.
We have who's back of the week and this league.

And Billy is back.

Unfortunately, we did not reach.

What did we say?

We had had 2 million downloads.

I think we only had 1 million.

1.9.

Yep.

So we were close.

So Billy's allowed back.

Billy didn't listen to the show.

So he has no idea what we're talking about right now.

I actually did.

Oh, so what did we say?

You said that if they listened 17 times, that it would up the listening rate and I get kicked off the show. Okay.
And then PFT made several jokes about how many like, uh, shows should have done that with characters. Got it.
Okay. That's enough.
All right. We got it.
You're here. Yeah.
Yeah. All right.
So Billy's back. I used to think that sandwiches were just, you know basic, until I realized how easy it is to level them way up.
It's all about starting with the best ingredients. Lately, I've been obsessed with this sandwich.
Boar's Head Ever-Roast Chicken, a little smoked gouda, arugula, sliced avocado, and a drizzle of balsamic glaze on toasted ciabatta. Just a few simple swaps, and suddenly it feels like something that I'd order at a fancy cafe.
And's why i always go for boar's head the quality the craftsmanship the fresh premium flavors that turn an everyday sandwich into something next level so if you're tired of the same old lunch try upgrading with boar's head head to the deli counter grab your favorites and see just how easy it is to make every bite amazing. Discover the craftsmanship behind every bite

at your local Boar's Head deli counter. Okay, let's go.
And then a lot of stuff Work to be done No place to hang out Or wash in And then again They fall on the sun Oh no We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue It's Pardon My Take, presented by Barstool Sports. Welcome to Pardon My Take, presented by the Cash App.
Go download it right now. Use code BARSTool.
You get $10 for free, $10 to the ASPCA. Today is Monday, August 10th.
PFT, are you in the right headspace to receive information that could possibly hurt you? Hang on. No.
Yes. College football has been canceled.
Yeah. Not officially, but it feels like we're on the ropes.
The MAC canceled on Saturday, which, as we all know, the MAC is the most important conference out there. So the dominoes have fallen since then.
Right now, as we're sitting here on Sunday night, it has not been officially canceled. But I think we need to just expect the worst and hope for some long shot miracle to happen and have the season happen.
But as we're sitting here right now, it feels like the Big Ten is going to announce that they're canceling on Monday. And then who knows what's going to happen.
I could still see the SEC being like, fuck everyone we're playing, which I will watch every single game. But that is where we're at.
I'm sad. It hurts.
Pain. It's bad.
It's not a good position to be in as far as sports fandom goes. But I think maybe the NFL will step up this fall, and as long as they have a season, they'll probably have some games going on Saturdayurdays so we could run into a situation where it's like game thursday night game saturday afternoon game saturday night games all day on sunday so they'll fill the void to a certain extent but yeah it's gonna suck not having college football on saturday the only spin zone is um lsu back-to-back national champions there's they remain the title holders what I don't I get I understand all of it because essentially it boils down to and I see all these tweets people being like MLB figured it out basketball figured it out NHL figured out golf figured out well guess what the difference is this is the one sport where they don't pay their athletes and if they pay their athletes I actually think it would it would happen.
They would basically be like, hey, do you want to get paid?

Okay, come play.

Because you can't really ask a 19-year-old to go out there

and play during a pandemic,

not knowing the future health implications necessarily

when they're not getting paid to do it.

And the problem is the NCAA will do everything,

including cancel a season, before they pay their athletes.

Yes.

So they want to keep the air of student-athletes athletes and amateurism alive even though we all know that's foolish but i still go back to the fact that i really do think the the part that's not getting talked about and trevor lawrence had a great tweet thread that when you take football away from uh these huge teams and basically say go fend for yourself is a possibility. It can be at times more dangerous when you're like, you're not getting tested anymore.
You're not under, you know, supervision all the time. You're not part of a team atmosphere.
Basically go fend for yourself. And I think that's a valid argument that, that just kind of gets lost where everyone says we have to cancel it.
Like there's nuance to this. And the United States of America doesn't do well with nuance anymore.
But you're right. I think that having access to world-class health care or at least like United States class health care at the top of it when you're like, if you're an athlete at Clemson, you are getting much, much better caretaking care of you than you are if you're just like a random 21-year-old in Aiken, South Carolina.
And how about if you want to play, you have to follow, like, you have to wear a mask and you have to socially distance. You have to be cautious, whereas the alternative is let's just let all the student-athletes go out in the world and who knows what happened because guess what? It's now they're just part of – and I get the liability and everything.
Billy told us a fact that one in 50 offensive linemen will die from a heart attack during a game, which I don't know where he got that fact. Out of his ass.
He literally just said that before the show. I get all of it.
I'm just sad that we're probably not going to have college football this season. I wish they could figure it out.
And it feels like it's being made to be a black and white issue when it's not fully that. I've got a way.
What I keep going back to the opft hold on i want to hear your way but what i keep going back to is why why cancel it right now when like if in march new york was absolutely ravaged by coronavirus now new york's doing pretty well like i don't i don't know i guess you kind of have to because you can't just let people just linger there but it feels like i don't know maybe delay it a month delay it two months see if things get better and knowing that it probably won't but at least you give the opportunity that maybe we can figure out a way instead of being like here we are first second week of august everything's canceled we're done okay what about this idea i stole this from Bad. What if they just elected to pay the players, but they're like, we'll pay you guys each a dollar.
Now you're technically employees or minimum wage. Like in Breaking Bad, when they saved Bob Odenkirk's life, Better Call Saul's life, it was like, hey, pay me a dollar.
Now I'm officially your lawyer. Right.
Now you can tell me anything that you want, and I can't say anything. If you find a way to make the players professionals now what about this actually like a serious way to do it what if just every football program disassociated themselves from the school technically so they're like a small business that's being run in south bend indiana or a small business in austin texas or tuscaloosa one that like is a little bit separate from the schools themselves.
So then all of a sudden, yeah, you can have a loose affiliation with the campus, but you're not working underneath the NCAA anymore. Now it's just like a collection of small businesses across the country that happen to kick ass at football.
I'm in for that, too. It's like company softball teams, right? You bring in some ringers, you pay the guys more to work at your company, so then you in the season against the other power plant in uh in albuquerque so like why not have a way where we can at least this this is a moment for college sports where you can say this is the time if there was ever a time to like just get rid of the whole ruse that is that they won't these guys are money making right for you here's what bothers me the most is why are all billionaires fucking dorks and losers? Because if I were a billionaire right now, I'd sit down and be like, hey, I just crunched the numbers.
70 or so power five teams pay each player. Hundred guys on a team.
One hundred thousand dollars at seven hundred million dollars. If I had if I had Bezos money, dude, if you're bloomberg that would make you a president yes you could have used that seven hundred million dollars instead of your weird fucking three-week campaign and just paid the players and we would have college football and everyone would have voted for yep would you pay for your own stadium no no no no that has to be tax incentives yes i will get the bear in my back pocket.
And all the people will have to pay for my stadium. But the players, I'll pay for.
I actually think that most people, at least in SEC country, would take that in a heartbeat where it's like, yeah, raise my taxes 1% to 2% to fund a new stadium. Yes.
Give it to a billionaire Big Cat, and he's going to make football happen. I just wish we had one cool billionaire.
Yeah. One cool billionaire who's like, you know what? I got $20 billion.
What's a bill? What's throwing a bill at this so that the country can be happy on Saturdays in the fall? Nothing. Yes.
Fuck that. This is why the lottery needs to put out bigger jackpots.
How much does Jeff Bezos have? We need billionaires out there that did absolutely nothing to get their money. Like somebody that is just given a lottery ticket for a billion dollars.
A dude like that would come up with a sweet kick-ass idea like this. Dude, Jeff Bezos has fucking $190 billion.
You can't give me one bill, Jeff? Jeff, you fuck? Do it. You bald.
I shouldn't say this because now he's getting the robots and all that shit. Bill Gates has $113 billion.
Give me one bill, Bill. The Rock right now has an opportunity.
Just give me a bill. If The Rock, Florio put this out here.
I talked about it last week. But if the XFL was able to work a bubble, then they could get the college players to play for an XFL team in the bubble.
I don't think that's going to happen. I just want college football.
What I just said to you was exactly what you're saying,

but I put the letters XFL in front of it.

No, but the problem with – you're talking about the college – no, because college football players, your premise is college football players

will then decide to play in the XFL to improve their draft status.

I think that actually would hurt their draft status for a good portion of them.

You don't think about the downside because they're going to play against adults and and if they look bad, now their upside's gone, and now they can go. Like we always talk about, oh, you go from a third rounder to a first rounder.
What about a third rounder to a seventh rounder? Or what you could do if you're the XFL is you could say, we're not going to have it be the same as last year where it's not going to be grown men. This is specifically for college kids.
Then I'm fine with that. Yes.
Okay. So that's essentially just making...
Hoping college players players play but i also you root for the laundry it's i mean you need the xfl to be the you know the colors and the bands and all that stuff it doesn't feel the same when it's um whatever the the whip snakes versus the chrome legends there's going to be a big gaping hole in the south this fall and that's going to be no college football on saturdays there's saving might die there's saving might die you just killed nick saban not do it does nick saban count as a coronavirus death no nick saban just counts it's a football death yeah but it's adjacent coronavirus caused it i think that um if you're looking to set up a business in the south just like start a church in the south right now where you have service on sundays your communion is natty light bud light and i don't know cheese it's and corn bread and pulled pork and you just encourage people to show up and get drunk people are going to just be looking for an excuse to party on a saturday and they're not going to have it this fall the worst part about this like um just not knowing what's going to happen is i'll believe anything so i saw some guy tweet he. He had 246 followers.
He said he's an independent journalist. And his tweet was that Penn State, Ohio State, and Michigan, and Nebraska are planning on joining the Big 12 this year.
And I was like, this guy, he's making a lot of sense. What if there's a conference realignment that just keeps happening into September, just ideas of teams that want to join.
The last conference that doesn't cancel the season, you're going to have these football powerhouses at least considering joining your conference. Can we do an opt-in? If your team decides the problem is, I keep going back to this.
When we talked about players probably being safer if they're in the facility and they're playing football and they're being monitored, that still does rely on the coaches being decent human beings, which most of them aren't like, they will definitely take advantage of it. So in a perfect world, you hope like, Hey, if all the players were in the facility and they're getting tested and they had medical, uh, you know, looking after them and everything that was good, it's probably safer.

But then you just throw in the fact that a coach will be like,

oh, you have coronavirus, tough shit, you've got to play.

It would be hilarious if Michigan decided that they were going to be

the last holdout and they started to schedule games

against Little Sisters of the Poor.

We went back in time.

Any sort of junior college that's still going around.

Don't make me do it.

Then Michigan wins. Don't make me do it.
They go 5-0 against teams that have part-time students, and then they declare a national championship. Don't make me do it.
I'm going to do it. Also, while you're looking this up, I'm going to quote our good friend Ian Rappaport because he said, I think he really has his finger on the pulse.
He said, Imagine if college football had the kind of leadership that the NFL and the NFLpa showed over the last few months to put the league and its players in a position to play a full season amid a pandemic just the incredible hours of work and teamwork and the ncaa is the opposite yep congrats to the nfl for putting in the the requisite 48 hours before the players reported to camp to figure out how they're going to handle the copen shocking he could send that tweet with his face all the way up Roger Goodell's asshole. Yeah.
I'm surprised he could use his thumbs when they were both holding water. Oh, my God.
Yeah. So, Michigan football.
We can go back in time. 1896, they played Grand Rapids High.
Uh-huh. Yeah, have Michigan play against high schools.
Beat them. Harbaugh would be down for that.
They started Eastern Michigan, then Grand Rapids High, then just a team named Physicians and Surgeons. Uh-huh.
What was the spread on that game? They won that game only 28-0. Wow.
Fucking goddammit. Is Michigan overrated? And then they played Lake Forest, Purdue, Lehigh, Minnesota, Oberlin, Wittenberg, and Chicago.
And this was like before the teams were traveling by train, I would have to imagine.

They would invite teams and then teach them how to play football and then whoop them up.

Like every little brother ever.

I mean, every big brother ever.

Do it, Michigan.

I'm going to teach you how to do this game.

Now I'm going to beat you by 100.

In 1894, they played Michigan Military Academy twice. Twice.
And then they played Case, Adrian, Olivets. I don't even know what these places are.
We need to go back in time. We need to let Michigan just make their own schedule, go back in time, and just start whooping up on random people.
I would watch it. Yes.
I'd watch anything on Saturday. I do hope they have NFL on Saturday.
Oh, here's the only positive. Okay.
One positive. Let's finish this with one positive.
Kirk Herbstreet and Chris Fowler on Monday Night Football will be phenomenal. They're a great Monday Night Football booth.
And they're going to call Monday Night Football. That will be a good...
We won't have a season of complaining about Monday Night Football. And Herbstreet's got the Trent Dilfer private jet that he can take around, so he's not going to get sick.
Yep. So that is one positive.
There's the one positive that we can go with there that feels like maybe there's – it still sucks. I do think that there's a good chance that Nick Saban – the likelihood that he dies from having no football is actually way higher than the likelihood that he dies from coronavirus.
Right. Exactly.
You are putting his life at risk. People who are deciding to cancel this.
It fucking sucks. I would say him, the Stoops brothers, probably.
I'm going to go with Jimbo Fisher. I feel like he needs football.
Charlie Weiss. He probably won't get his payment.
That's true. How is this going to affect his buyout? Herm Edwards.
How is Herm Edwards going to be able to turn young boys into upstanding young men if he doesn't have a football season in which to teach them? Oh, man. Maybe that's what we do.
Maybe we have just a live cam like when a bald eagle is about to give birth. We just have a live cam on Nick Saban every Saturday in the fall.
Just him puttering around the house. I would bet on Nick Saban.
Eating his cream pies and watching the Weather Channel. He probably still gets up at the same time every morning.
Absolutely. He'll drive into the office.
Yes. He'll hallucinate that he's going to be playing like UAB that weekend, drop a game playing for him.
All right. Actually, you know what we should do? Yeah.
Without any sort of instruction whatsoever, we should just put Xbox consoles in the hands of the coaches and have them play an NCAA 14 tournament against each other. That would be good.
And just watch them call those plays like it was a real game. And, yeah, all of them get pissed.
I'll watch that in a second. Now, people are probably saying, you talked a lot about college football.
Aren't you missing a big tournament that happened? We're going to talk about the PGA Championship. Brooks lost.
The course won. What the fuck do you want from us? The course won this weekend.
He was hurt. Did you see his hip? Brooks injured his leg.
No, wait, hold on. Brooks would never make an excuse.
But if we were to make an excuse for Brooks, he was so clearly hurt, and anyone who's talking bad about him right now can go fuck themselves. don't make fun of somebody that's injured we don't root for injuries right we make fun of them when they complain about little ants right the course one it defeated Brooks Morikawa he hit an awesome shot that was that's right was happy Gilmore shit yeah he and he was phenomenal yeah he drove it to within what like five feet on a par four it was just it's it's actually perfect that he won in the exact way that bryson would have wanted to win yeah by like flexing his drive on a par four and then bryson had a chance where i think it was on 18 he could have gotten close and then he ended up about like one club length short so he wasn't strong enough to put himself in position to win i've got to imagine that bryson he his stretch marks that he has on his body right now from putting on what, 50 pounds? He looks like a tiger right now with his stripes.
Sometimes they'll have on ESPN his old picture and it just looks nothing like him. Absolutely not.
It was phenomenal golf. I was glued to it all weekend.
It was great that we got primetime golf. The only complaint I have is when you get to Sunday afternoon or Sunday evening, and there was that moment there was like six guys tied for first, and your brain just says, this is going to be incredible because we're going to have like a five-way tie and a five-way like sudden death, you know, last man standing overtime.
And then it just didn't happen because Morikawa had that insane shot. Like, you get all built up.
Like, this is going to be incredible. They're going to have to have five guys tee off for, you know, a three-hole playoff, and then he just dusted everyone in the last three holes.
If your guy's not winning, then you just root for chaos. That's what you have to do at that point.
And then it throws into play, like, what do you do if there's a six-person playoff is it going to take place tomorrow morning because it's getting late is it going to happen now how many holes is it how long is it going to last like one of the best sports experiences of my life was back in i think it was 2008 tiger they had the u.s open at the end of that sunday when you're like guess what we get an entire another day like a bonus day of major championship golf. That is something you're like, I'm not doing shit at work tomorrow.
I made some golf fans very upset when Brooks had a little bit of a hip thing. And I was like, there's never been a player who's played around with a leg injury in a championship.
In a major championship? In a major championship. I was like, bro, Tiger won with a broken leg and an ACL.
Yeah, I i know who tiger was and also we don't know what brooks has brooks might have two torn acls you don't know that let's not judge a person's injury using the eyeball test it's called a hipaa violation it was awesome though it was awesome golf it's i mean any major whether you're talking about the travelers or the masters i do i do love it being on west coast time though yeah that is so great that great. You don't normally see golf in primetime like this.
I expected it'd be sweet if they put the Sunday Night Football guys up there with Jim Nance to do the commentary at the end of the day. When's the next one? Like mid-September.
Mid-September, and then when is November? I wish they did the like every other week for two months.

Yeah.

Because I just get the – there's something about watching major golf.

It's just so much fun, and it just sets up the weekend.

It's such a great couch activity for an entire weekend.

I'm fending it.

I want more.

It threw off the nap schedule, though.

Like watching the PGA on a Sunday night, on a Saturday night, you're like,

you know what?

I feel more tired than I usually do. It's because I don't get my naps in the middle of the day.
It's true. Anything else before we get to who's back? We'll talk about the bubble and Dame Lillard after Steve-O.
Oh, NFL, Mort went viral because 69 players opted out. Yep.
You know what you're doing. Very nice, Mort.
Mort probably 69s. Mort definitely 69s.
He definitely sucks in fucks. I've got a joke that I'm not going to make about Mort, but it would have been funny.
Good. Just know that for the record.
That was big of you. Yeah, thank you.
Anything else? Oh, there was a brawl in baseball. That was pretty cool.
Yeah. Well, the dude charged the dugout.
You don't see that very often. By the way, I think that that's bullshit.
If you call a guy and you say, come over, and the guy starts running at you to fight, you have to fight that guy. You can't rely on your spry young players to catch the guy and intercept him on the way in and let them fight him.
You initiated the fight. You've got to finish it now.
I agree. I totally agree.
So I guess just like let's have an MMA fight. Who was it? It was the manager, right? Yeah.
Of the Astros? Yes. Yeah.
Listen. He's like the bench coach.
Yeah. Let that guy fight.
Just beefing. Just beefing.
All right. Before we get to who's back, we got a new ad alert.
This is a big one. New sponsor alert.
Huge. We're going to get right back to the show.
There are some things in life that just shouldn't be forgotten, like bringing your keys when you leave the house, setting your fantasy lineup, and most importantly, having Hidden Valley Ranch to watch the game. Especially if you're having pizza, those creamy, zesty, cool ranch flavors take each cheesy, melty bite to an unforgettable level.
Hidden Valley Ranch, only serious about flavor. All right, back to part of my take.
All right, Hank. My who's back, I have a few.
The first one is Phil Collins. Okay.
Oh, yeah. His song, In the Air Tonight, came out, like, God knows how many years ago.
There was a viral video of two kids, like, reacting, listening to it from the first time that had, like, a shit tone of millions of views. And air tonight is trending on the iTunes chart because it's like the top five it's a jam yeah and when you watch people watching or listening to that song for the first time you still get the goosebumps when the drums kick in and you see them freak out it's like a joy that I have is watching somebody start to appreciate something that we already know about yes yeah because you're like here comes here comes here comes here it comes kids are gonna be all right yeah my other who's back the week is derrick rose yeah okay i know he is d rose kanye west tweeted out today some shoes a model of new shoes that are releasing called the d rose the yeezy d roses and there's something they are something i don't know if it's like a shot at rose like i don't know what they are like his knee isn't complete so there's just a bunch of lines in it? I don't know if it's like a shot at D.
Rose. I don't know what they are.
Like his knee isn't complete, so there's just a bunch of lines in it. No, I don't think so.
I think you're thinking too much. I think he just made a great shoe for D.
Rose. It looks like a fish in a cartoon after they eat it.
Yeah, pretty much. You know what I'm saying? Like all the ribs sticking out of it.
Yes. Looks like a herringbone that's been sucked dry by a cartoon cat.

Yeah, and then throws the bones out.

Yeah.

I'm going to get them.

How much do you think they're going to be?

Do you think they're going to be?

Probably.

How much do you think they're going to be?

Probably like $300.

It looks like if somebody took a...

I mean, no one...

It looks like if somebody...

Literally, there's no price that I wouldn't pay for these shoes.

Turned a sperm into a Nike swoosh logo. Oh, but but speaking of which did you guys see joel and bead shoes the kairis oh my god the i listen i wear under armor shirts and stuff but those shoes what is under armor doing with their shoes who's making under armor shoes they're just kairis but they're also just the color Under Armour shoes.
Or the Flames. It looks like somebody ironed an emoji onto the side of it.
I think what Under Armour's been doing the last four years is they've just trying to get the whole image of the Chef Curry, the nurse shoes, out of everybody's head by designing uglier and uglier shoes. So we forget about that first one.
I think the Under Armour shoe designer just goes to Walmart and sees all the $10 shoes that you can buy at Walmart. The Starberries are there.
Yeah, there's a Taz on the side. And he's like, oh, cool.
I'm just going to model all my shoes off of this. Yeah, those were something.
Hank, is that it? I had one more. Esports are back.
Okay. Oh, great.
Why? Recurring guest, Nick Merckx, he won this $100,000 tournament. I mean, I know sports are back like the feeling of watching sports is back but this this tournament was like basically the playoffs like it had that game seven playoff field playoff feel it was electric it was the first time that i was watching something where i was like oh this is this is really sports like this is legitimately yeah this is sports well at least one blake won the good thing the good thing pft is that we had nick mer on, and he explained how his dad at first was hesitant, but then became accepting.
And we've just gone straight to accepting. Yeah, we love him.
Hank's new lifestyle. Yes, we love you, Hank.
We'll support you. Love is love.
It's all you think about. It's not.
It's on your brain. No, it's just a who's back.
I just want you to be happy, Hank. Todd is life.
You need to get that shirt. Whatever makes you happy in life, that's what makes me makes me happy.
It doesn't mean I'm necessarily going to be there watching you. I don't want to watch you play.
I don't want to see that image in my head. I don't want to think about you just night and day just grabbing joysticks and stuff.
I don't even play anymore. Oh, you know? Oh, you retired? Yeah.
You officially retired. Focused on stool streams.
Play bar stool. Stool streams, Cod, and Teeny Weeny Norman.
Stool streams, PMT, Teeny Weeny Norman. Oh, we're no way we're on that list.
We're not on that list. No, yeah.
The pie chart. We're like seven.
No, the pie chart of my brain is like 50% PMT and then the rest is split up. We're in there as long as it can fit into one of his other interests.
Where it's like, can maybe part of my take do stool streams? you guys want to play call duty yeah that's a that's a dream that's a dream that's a pipe dream is that it hank that's it okay my who's back of the week is having to figure out your fantasy draft position for fantasy football because that is happening fancy football drafts are probably going down in the next like two to three weeks i would imagine so i'm starting to starting to get people here and there being like, hey, select my fantasy draft order, that sort of thing. So do you just want to figure out a formula for it? Wait, I'd do that.
Yeah, people have been tweeting me for the last three years too. Oh, yeah, you can send them to me.
Like every August. I was doing that all last year.
I was actually replying to people. Tell them to come to me, and then I just tell them to go to Jilly okay how about this how about um we could just come up with a formula for it no i no just tell just forward them to me and i'll forward them to jilly okay so that's it's easy i'll tag big cat in it and then he'll send it to uh jilly no i did i did a bunch of those last year and it was a big mistake because then everyone asked for it it's like i don't i can't do this forever but i'll do a couple well then you can just say madden codes yeah and then get that i then get that.
I'll do a couple. I'll do a couple, but I'll send most to Jilly Football.
She's still out there. She's still doing her thing.
My other who's back of the week is Thailand. Thailand's back.
So Hank has accurately predicted pronunciations for Donald Trump on several occasions. So in the span of one week, we had Thailand, which, Hank, you said back in, what, 2017? Who knows? 2018.
And then you had the other ones, Yosemite, which Hank put on his list of unacceptable millennial names. See, that wasn't even a miss.
That was just, that was a name that I liked. Yeah.
Right. And so he said Yosemite and then somebody tweeted at Big Cat, I hope he doesn't talk about women's health because he'll go objen on it.
So I don't know. Maybe.
You could be president be president congratulations of a brain oh what if he says super relatives that would be something i'm talking about ivanka and jared i i'm i might never say super relatives again it's super relative honestly i think super relatives is an upgrade over super superlative yes super anything yeah we should actually do can we i think you can petition merriam webster for new words didn't they make it like isn't slang becoming part of so we should just make super relative a real word now it's like irregardless people yeah if you say it enough it becomes super relative yeah reoccurring yeah um all right my who's back is uh the man the myth the legend mike francessa who is retired i think i don't even know if he's retired or not i think he just talks into a microphone for 20 minutes every day and does he have an app like four people listen to it and then uh what's his name what's the guy's name that clips all his stuff oh funhouse funhouse clips it and puts it out and then we all laugh and it's great funhouse should just pay mike francesa to do for his Twitter. I don't want Funhouse ever to go anywhere.
I want him to keep finding ways to just clip Mike Francesa, like going to the refrigerator in the morning and farting. So he gave like another eulogy, right? He gave a great eulogy for Horace Clark, who was a member of the New York Yankees.
He said, Horace Clark was a symbol of the Yankees' fall from grace post-1964. He was mediocre just like the Bombers,

65 through 74.

Rest in peace.

The rest in peace at the end is so perfect.

Yeah, I like how he didn't even include

the fact that he passed away

because most people that are reading this

probably didn't know that this guy

from the 1964 Yankees died.

Yes.

But then dropping the RIP at the end,

it's like Dion dropping hashtag truth

at the end of his case.

Right.

I never had any thoughts about Horace Clark, but now I know he was mediocre.

Well, I know that he was symbolic, most of all, of the Yankees as they went down to mediocrity.

All right, Billy, what's your who's back?

My who's back of the week is fear.

The murder hornets are actually a problem.

You really have run out of things to talk about.

No, they're in England now. Okay.
They're in England. They just skipped the United States? They're in England.
They've spread. I'm actually scared.
How many murders have they committed? They've committed zero murders. Oh, wow.
Shit. Sounded pretty scary.
They're actually murdering other pollinators in the area, such as honeybees. Flowers.
Flowers. But I thought they were going to invade the United States.
Well, they're currently still invading us. But we have guns in the United States.
The murder hornets are like, fuck that, let's go to England. And will.
Yeah. Strength.
And no college football, so we've got a lot of time on our hands. Oh, you know what would be sick? What about demolition derbies? What if the South just started doing demolition derbies again on Saturdays? I've been in a demolition derby.
Dude, it sucked. They're the best.
I fucked up right away it was fun though so murder hornets back fear is back you had five days to come up with a topic we already talked about you didn't talk about them going to England and then two months ago they didn't murder anyone though call me when they murder someone who's scared of someone that doesn't murder? Right. Not me.
It'd be like, oh, check out this serial killer. How many people has he killed? Zero.
But he wants to. He's thinking about it.
It's too much of a bitch to actually do it. Yeah.
They're just hornets. They actually, that's the problem.
They're hornets. You don't get to be called murder hornets until you murder someone.
Wait, how do hornets fly all the way from Japan to England? No, they have murdered people. Who? They've killed 50 people.
You just came up with that out of the top of your head. No, no, no.
I think they kill like 10 a year in Japan. But those are just people who are allergic.
Who forgot their EpiPen. A year to the nasty buzzers.
People who are allergic to hornets and then they get stung. Oh.
That's natural selection. That's like being like oh, yeah, there's this new thing out there, murder peanut butter.

It kills 20 people a year with peanut butter allergies.

What about these murder cars?

Yeah, murder jiffy.

Don't go near it.

What about murder electricity or murder water?

Have you heard about murder water, Billy?

Everyone who drinks it dies.

Yeah, everyone who drinks water dies.

If you try to win a Wii game system from a radio show it usually kills you if you drink too much of it okay that's all I got good one uh all right let's get to our interview awesome interview coming up steve-o we're so excited for this one we're gonna get right back to the show don't miss your chance to spring into deals at Lowe's right now now, get five select one-pint annuals for just $5.

Plus, get a free 60-volt Toro battery when you purchase a select 60-volt Toro electric mower.

With deals like these, your yard wins.

Shop in-store or online today.

Lowe's. We help.
You save.

Valid through 430, while supplies last.

Actual plant size and selection varies by location. Excludes Hawaii.
Alright, back to part of my take. Okay, here he is, Steve-O.
Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. You know him very well.
It is Steve-O of Jackass fame and many other things. He's got a new comedy special out on his website called Gnarly, Steve-O.com.
Go to it right now. It's comedy, stand-up comedy.
It's clips. It's special appearances from some of the Jackass crew.
He's also got a podcast called Steve-O's Wild Ride. Steve-O, thank you very much for joining us.
We we are big big fans uh i guess this is kind of a heavy first question but i i actually am very curious what your response would be um huge fans of jackass we're in the perfect age demographic we're both 35 years old so it was like hit at the right spot what to you what is the genius of jackass because i truly do think it's a genius it was a genius thing and you guys are all comedic geniuses and people maybe poo poo it and say no they're idiots no they're comedic geniuses so why uh like what's the genius behind it all right uh well thank you number one i don't i think that's uh very appreciate the kind words. Number two, I don't think it's really a heavy question.
I think it's really fascinating because there was some kind of a cultural significance to Jackass. I think that's safe to say.
And what made it popular, I would believe, is the misfortune element. I think that there's something compelling about slowing down to Google at an accident.
I think that seeing something maybe sort of terrible happen is inherently compelling. I think that there's something endearing about Jackass where we were able to, we've always been able to not look cool, to not take ourselves seriously.
And I think there's something endearing about that. And there's also finally something I believe actually pretty wholesome about the fact that there's nothing mean spirited in what we're doing.

You know,

yeah,

we're reckless where we do terrible things to ourselves and to each other,

but we're never cruel to,

uh,

to third parties or to anybody else.

So,

you know,

it's weird to say Jaguars is wholesome,

but I think it does apply.

And, uh, how's that for a rambling? It makes a lot of sense. I think you hit the nail on the head.
I've always said that with Jackass, it's one of those things that you could take. It's like a great unifier.
You could take the first Jackass movie, for example, play it for some teenagers in the suburbs. You could play it for a tribe that hasn't even been discovered yet in South America.

You could play it for probably even ISIS overseas and everybody that would watch it would laugh. It is like the perfect comedy that I think is really universal.
So I guess my question for you is who is like the weirdest person or the most unexpected person or group of people that have told you like, I love Jackass. ah

I mean it was

insane person or group of people that have told you like, I love Jackass?

Ah, I mean, it wasn't somebody who said that they loved it, but I remember being really caught off guard one night at a restaurant in New York city.

And somebody said sheepishly sort of, Hey, excuse me.

I'm really sorry to bother you, but would you mind saying hi to maybe my niece or my granddaughter or something like that? And it was Robin Williams. I remember thinking, yeah, I remember thinking, wow, dude, Robin Williams.
And he was just so polite and really a little bit timid even. But as far as people who were unlikely fans, I just am always shocked.
I feel like the guy from Dazed and Confused, Matthew McConaughey's character, where he says, I get older and they just stay the same age. Because it's shocking how all these years later, we're decades into it now, and little kids that are interested like like how is a little kid like a fan of jackass you know like uh and then even like on the older side like when i'm doing my tour yeah like in the audience and uh to see like legitimately old people it always makes me really happy what about yeah what about your parents did like the cast members did their parents ever like say hey we're fans of this because i gotta imagine that like looking at your child doing that it might hit a little bit differently as opposed to watching somebody else's kid do it i don't know that anybody in my family has ever been particularly a fan of it i think they uh they they recognize the uh the appeal but it's just not their kind thing.
I think they recognize the appeal, but it's

just not their kind of thing.

I know Bam's

family,

his parents,

have been really intimately involved

in it.

Yeah, I don't know.

I don't know that... I think that the closer

you get to it, the

less of a fan

you are, particularly if you're really – like if it's a family member, someone you love, like doing this stuff, I think you would have a mixed bag of feelings about it. So I liked your answer about why Jackass is genius, but I feel like you might have missed something that at least I, you know, when I watch it, I see.
And you can tell me I'm way wrong, but I think it is also just friendship. Like, you guys always came across as, yeah, you'd fight or there'd be fucked up things you'd do to each other, but you'd always make each other laugh.
And when you make each other laugh, it, like, kind of room of like, Oh my God, they're having a great time. And you could tell me I'm way off, but did it, did it feel like that? That's absolutely a component to it.
Um, and I think that that I would lump that in with what makes it, uh, you know, a little bit of an unlikely wholesome thing that, uh, that we're main spirited, that we evidently really care about each other. And we've got this great chemistry where, uh, you know, where there's, there's just some kind of like something magical about it.
Right. Right.
Yeah. Go ahead.
Sorry. Sorry.
No, that's my bad. That's my bad.
I don't know. I, I'm the worst when it comes to that.
I'm the worst. Well, I was going to give an example.
It's like, so, you know, the, the, when you boil down, like, you know, guys being friends and male friendship and it's like, yeah, you care about each other. But also if one of your friends, you know, bam is definitely afraid of snakes, you're going to fuck him up and lock him into a horse trailer and throw fake snakes at him.
Like that's, that of where it always felt so funny and so relatable not you know i'm never throwing snakes at my friends but that feeling of like we can be friends but i also can bust your balls and like go at you every now and then at the end of the day we're still friends for sure yeah it's uh that busting balls is really what it is. You know, there's a certain type of, you know, there's a certain type of, I suppose, you know, razzing or whatever that you would only do to someone you really care about.
So off that, though, what was there ever a time where one of the guys took it too far or it was like true anger that lasted a few days and it was like oh shit like we went too far on this one uh yeah um where uh bam broke my nose okay that was uh that that fucking drove me nuts i was so pissed and the footage never even uh was even included in the Thank God I put it in my gnarly comedy special. You know, this fucking terrible, this terrible, filthy thing that I've put together.
Yeah, it was Bam doing his throw water in your face and then super slow-mo sucker punch you. And he just, it was called the Rocky and they would play it to like the Rocky theme music.
And he just, there's supposed to be no drinking on the set. You know, this is like out of some respect for my sobriety.

When we filmed Jackass 3D, I was newly sober and they had a strict no drinking policy.

But Bam just went and got fucking completely hammered on the set and and came up and threw the water in my face and sucker punched me.

But he just completely fucking broke my nose. The worst thing about it was it wasn't even in front of the fucking slow motion camera.
Drunk ass shithead fucking broke my nose in the wrong place. I'm all about getting footage.
But yeah, so, you know, I mean, it was captured on film, but it wasn't captured on that fantastic phantom slow motion camera. So as part of this gnarly special, I went and just filmed all kinds of crazy new stuff to load into it so that it would play largely like a jackass movie.
I exacted my revenge on Bam by throwing the water in his face.

And God, I was mortified to learn what a pussy I am when it comes to punching people.

That's awesome.

So with your new stand-up thing, you just mentioned, what are you, 10 years sober right now?

12.

Yeah, I just passed 12 years in March Thank you

That's awesome

So I have to imagine that that was a pretty big transition for you

Going from filming Jackass the way that used to be filmed

Where I'm sure there were drugs and alcohol on set everywhere

To now there's been absolutely none for you for the last 12 years

What was the most difficult part of making that adjustment

And do you think that you've learned anything over the last 12 years that's actually improved your comedy since then oh man um the uh the transition like i mean when you get sober it's like you know you only change one thing like and that's everything it's just like it's really you know i was um in uh psychiatric wards and and rehab centers for the first six months and then I was in a halfway house you know until I had two years of sobriety so I was just straight institutionalized for two entire years and I was still in the halfway house when we were filming Jackass 3D. I had a roommate, you know, I shared my room with, we had to do our chores scrubbing the toilets and this and that.
And I would have to like get a special pass filled out like, Hey, I'm going to be late for curvy tonight because I have to go and get catapulted into the sky and a port-a-potty full of shit. You know, that was like actual like conversations that went on with my house manager in my halfway house and uh so yeah i mean it was a big transition and ultimately like when it comes to approaching like gnarly you know dangerous painful stunts um i just uh, you know, you take away the drugs and the alcohol from the wasted attention whore, and then you get a sober attention whore.
You know, it's like, really, that's all there is to it. I never got, uh, I never took painkillers for pain and, uh, I never, uh, did stunts because I was loaded.
I just, I'm just an attention whore. So it didn't really change my approach to what I do for entertainment.
Interesting. I was reading a little bit about your childhood and whatever's on Wikipedia is what I absorbed.
So there's probably a bunch of stuff that's incorrect on there. But it did say that you moved around a lot as a kid, like a ton, not just like different cities, but like different States, different countries.
It was like almost once a year, once every other year. Is that how you kind of developed a sense of humor to fit in with new places that you were just moving into for the first time? I would like to say that that's true.
Um, I, uh, I was born in England, spoke my first words in brazil uh speaking portuguese in brazil um i i went i spoke fluent spanish in nursery school in venezuela kindergarten i did in connecticut and uh and then i moved back to england and to canada i grew up in five different countries. And I was always, we're going to move again.
And I remember always, every time I found out we were going to move, I was just stoked because I was such like a fucking bouncing off the walls, just like super annoying, like uncomfortable, like that. Then like, I didn't win anybody over, you know? And I was always like stoked to move again because I thought, cool, I'm going to get a, a new shot, you know, a clean slate.
And this time I'm going to be cool. And then every time, you know, there I was and I did it all over again.
i don't know that i learned anything from from moving around uh ultimately later in life you know that whole nature about me would end up kind of working out but it did not work for me when i was a child it didn't at all when you were a kid did you have did you always had, like, a high threshold for pain and doing dumb stuff? Like, were you just not – did you know from, like, a very early age you just had no fear? Because a lot of the stuff you've done, it's like, how the fuck is he doing this? Yeah, I don't even know that I have that much of a high threshold for pain. I mean, I suppose, like – do, you do.
I've developed, you know, I've developed an ability to just take it on, you know, but I feel everything and I can't even say that I'm fearless. I'm just that much of an attention whore, you know, it's just that simple.
Like, and when I think of The pain involved in the stuff

That I do like what

The pain I really couldn't

Withstand would be like

The 9 to 5 job you know

Right

Going to work to do something

That I'm not psyched about like that

That's some pain that I can't

Fuck with

So who in the crew I think I know the answer but who in the crew does have the highest threshold for pain? I saw Knoxville do something that would have been, that really changed my, my view. I was like, wow.
Like I, I, I recently saw Knoxville do something that I indicated to me that he actually registers pain differently than some of the other ones. So I'm going to go with Knoxville based on that.
He does something that is so funny and you never see it anywhere. But when he's doing something super painful, he starts to laugh beforehand.
And you're like, what the fuck is wrong with this guy? Like he's about to get smoked in the nuts and, or like tackled a hundred miles an hour by three football players. And he's giggling to himself beforehand.
Right. Yeah.
I mean, he's, he's the gnarliest, you know, like I've heard people say that I'd take on the, you know, the, the, the worst of the challenges and this and that. But like, I don't see it that way.
I think that Knoxville and the stunts that he does, I mean, are just so messed up, particularly because a lot of us grew up on skateboards. You know, like we actually like spent our formative years like learning how to fall yeah and um noxial doesn't have any of that benefit of uh you know experience with falling and and uh coordination you know working on it like when when noxial gets on a skateboard like boom he uh i mean he really doesn't know how to fall so when he does it's uh catastrophic yeah i think one of the things i like the most about when i think you in particular are awesome about this but when you're about to do something that you should be afraid of we can see your fear you're not trying to play it cool and be like i'm brave i can do this you step up to the sun you're like oh fuck this is, what am I doing? What am I doing? But you do it anyways.
Yeah, you're still there. Yeah, you're still there, and you still end up locking that part out, and you're like, I have this fear, but that's fine.
I'm going to do it even though I'm afraid. Has there ever been a stunt that you approach that you're all set up, ready to film, and you're like, this is fucked, this is fucked, and you back out of it at the last second? There was one when we were in India.
I was supposed to ride a unicycle along a balance beam-style plank, and it was over a bed of hot coals. And that broke my heart, man, because in setting up this whole bed of hot coals, there was a of like work that went into it, you know, and building the beam and the whole setup of this thing.

And then when I got on the beam, there was just some kind of mental block where I couldn't get both feet on the pedals.

I just like completely shut down and totally wimped out.

And it wasn't because I was afraid of landing on the hot coals.

It was just I was afraid to commit to that unicycle on the beam.

So, yeah, that one didn't happen.

It absolutely crushed my spirit that I wimped out.

And then, you know, years later, we did the fire gauntlet as a redemption for that.

And it would have been way cooler in India with actual hot coals on the unicycle than the way the fire gauntlet played out. How did you guys decide who did what stunt? And was it just whoever thought of it? Or was it like, no, this person would be perfect for this? And is there like a pecking order or a competition for it? Well, it depends.
Like, first and foremost, I would say that like there is a respect for intellectual property. Like whoever comes up with an idea is going to like essentially own that idea.
You know, so if you see somebody doing and if you see somebody doing a stunt, you can presume that either they came up with the idea or they were granted permission to carry out the idea by the person who did come up with it. And so you've got dibs on anything if it's your idea.
Now, of course, a lot of the time it makes sense. Oh, this would be great for this guy to do it.
So are ideas getting uh you know like written for certain people and then there's a whole other category of idea which is like the undeniably funny thing that absolutely nobody wants to do and for those ideas you know everybody gets approached and then you know assuming everybody turns down, it trickles down to Danger Aaron. Yes, yes.
And he always loses a tooth or something. Pretty much, yeah.
Yeah, pretty much. That's sort of how that goes.
He's underrated. Yeah, because just seeing his face whenever he's just like, fuck,'t want to do this it's just like that's so funny to know that that's exactly how it happened like it actually was passed by everyone so when he's saying fuck why am i doing this i don't want to do this it's as genuine as it could be yeah i'll give you guys a crazy jackass secret which said which makes no sense because i'm actually going to make a video about it but uh the um the jet the the lambo tooth pull yeah which was part of um jackass 3d uh it made no fucking sense to pull that tooth from danger aaron it was like for danger aaron it was a totally healthy tooth it made no fucking sense to do that plus when they pulled out that tooth on Danger Aaron because it was a healthy tooth sure they loosened it up a bit but it fractured his fucking skull where you know like the little fucking you know whatever the tooth fits in like that shit broke like up to his nose and the thing about it was that it was a redo because back uh on the the previous movie don veto bam's uncle don veto had his teeth fucking falling out like crazy i think he was down to like one tooth left and uh that one remaining tooth was begging to fall out like and and what bam said to don veto was let me tie that one fucking tooth to my lamborghini and film it for the movie and if you let me do that then i'll i'll pay for you to get like proper dentures Don V veto leapt at the opportunity and then he did it and it was classic but then don veto got tangled up in some fucking uh like lewd shit with uh with minors you know like he was at uh became a sex offender yeah and and when don veto became a sex offender they scrub scrubbed him out of Jackass number two.
So they had to scrap that bit. But the thing was, the director was so in love with it, that he couldn't let it go.
And so it was completely appropriate to do that with Don Vito. But the director, it broke Jeff Tremaine's heart to see that go.
It was so important to him to fucking let that finally see the light of day, that idea. That was one where, hey, you want to do this? Nope, nope.
So it trickled down to Danger Aaron and they did it with a healthy tooth. Jesus.
So Jeff seems like he gets away pretty easy with a lot the stuff. Cause he's around, he gets to witness a lot of it.
And you guys obviously prank him a little bit behind the scenes, but he never actually has to do any of the things that he sets up and directs. Have you guys thought about like, including him and be like, Hey, if you're going to make so much money filming us, maybe we get you a couple of times.
Yeah. I mean, there's nobody safe on the set, man.

I mean, nobody's ever going to be safe on the set. But as far as really elaborate, big things at Jeff's expense, I don't know, man.
And I think Jeff is, uh, not necessarily quite the type of attention whore. I mean, it's all, it is just a big battle for screen time, you know? And so part of me thinks like, why would we do that to Jeff? You know, like we want the screen time for ourselves.
I mean, I don't know. Um, I don't know.
I want to know i want to know how one one stunt one of my favorite it's very underrated not like one of your most remarkable stunts but i every time i watch it i die die laughing is wasabi snooters nope nope i'll go here you want to guess it's not It's not a pain stunt. It's not a pain stunt.

I don't know.

The goldfish. I'll go here.
You want to guess? It's not, it's not a pain stunt.

Ah,

it's not a pain.

So I don't know the goldfish.

No,

it's a,

it's fart mask. When Preston,

when Preston pooped into the fucking beer bong,

uh,

cause he was trying to fart so bad and you started puking in the,

in the mask.

Hey,

you guys are really,

you guys are really committing to this one, man. We are so alienating anybody.
I don't care, dude. I don't care.
I was looking through my tweets before this, and I found a tweet from three years ago, and I remember I was high with all my friends, and it just says, I watched Jackass 2 last night, and I miss those guys so much. So I'll keep doing that every year, where I just watch jackass and be like fuck i love these guys well dude i'm so thrilled that i i got the fucking whole jackass gang together for this uh gnarly thing i don't know if you guys saw like even the trailer but dude the whole fucking gang knoxville bam pontius dave england danger and everybody and they duct tape me to the side of a fucking billboard truck and uh and then drive the fucking thing down the highway with me duct taped inside of it and and that's that's how i get to the theater in the opening sequence of this multimedia comedy special and uh so yeah it's pretty it's it's a it's a point of pride and honor for me that I got the whole fucking gang together.
I'm so grateful to those guys. But yeah, there is new shit from us jackass dudes and it is at stevo.com.
But with that said, the fart mask thing. For anybody who's not not familiar the idea was to uh like set up like uh what was connected to preston's like a 350 pound fat guy yeah it's like a tube connected to his asshole it was a beer bong it was a beer bong that was basically going to one of those old-timey scuba diving masks that's like you can see all the way around that's like glass right and and uh you know it was always like uh it was always like a payoff for a bit if it made me barf yes and um the thing is that like there's no way that i actually could have smelled a fart that came through that whole tube but just the setup and preparing to do it like the idea of it you know i have this like super like powerful imagination which is why i think uh over the years i was always such a an embarrassing premature ejaculation guy you know like totally premature ejaculating my whole life because like the idea of something being fucking sexy wouldn't just make me cum much the way the idea of the idea of something being gross would just make me barb you know i really i think there's a link between those two things yes and uh and so just yeah yeah i mean i've got this big mask on and Preston basically just puts the beer bong up to his butt and I'm like, the idea of it, and I'm already barfing.
He did end up taking a shit into that beer bong too. Because he tried to fart so hard that he shit into the beer bong.
I sound so stupid. It's so fucking funny.
Dude, you know what just I remembered is that we had to film that twice. We had to film that twice because the first time they set it all up, I fucking barfed before he got his pants down.
They were like, they were so mad. Like, fucking Steve-O, dude fucking steve-o dude fucking you know I've ruined it because we didn't even get to start the bit and I already fucking barbed so we did it like another day we redid it oh that's so good oh man I always used to love when Manny would come out when Manny would be included in in his skit.
Yeah. I mean, Manny just recovered from COVID.
Oh, shit. I'm glad he's all right.
He got it bad, man. He was talking about like, it was like so dehydrated, like it brought on kidney stones, I think he said.
And like, dude, he was just not okay. But thankfully, he's bounced he's bounced back that's awesome so so Manny if you don't know was their wildlife guy he was like your nature expert he wore the shark tooth necklace did he actually is he actually a wildlife expert or is he because like because he would come on set and and he'd be like yeah just go swim in the bottom of this lake and grab an alligator by its face And that's fine.
And I never knew if he actually had a background with animals or if he was just there to serve as the nature guide. He's like a real life Tarzan.
You know, I mean, it's just like Tarzan never had a degree. But he was Tarzan.
Like Manny really is Tarzan, I would say. I mean, I don't think Manny ever went to school at all the story was that I think in Cuba, I believe Manny was from Cuba and he'd show up at school and just ditch and he would go out into the swamp to survive for days on, for like days on end, like when he was a school kid.
And that was just his deal, like growing up, like throughout life, like just fascinated with, you know, apex predators and wanting to like get intimate with them. That's awesome.
Yeah. He's a man.
So are you guys, I always said to, i always said that uh you know if manny says something like uh like don't do something that means fucking don't do it you know but if manny says something's totally okay that does not fucking mean it's okay either like when i did the alligator tightrope

and I just included this in

a YouTube video. I was telling the story

about this in a recent

video. Manny's

advice for me, going into the

alligator tightrope, he says

if an alligator gets a hold of

Steve-O, Steve-O will relax

and hopefully the

alligator will release him. I was like, dude's ever been said on jackass steve-o will relax he will let the alligator take him and hopefully the alligator will release him i love it we're gonna get right back to the show.
At Sutter, keeping minds strong never stops. Our ALS clinic leads the way in new gene therapies and clinical trials that pioneer real hope.
From movement disorders to memory care, epilepsy to stroke care, our experts diagnose and treat conditions at every stage. Because when your brain's at its best, so are you.
A whole team on your team. Sutter Health.
Learn more at sutterhealth.org slash neurology. All right, back to part of my take.
And now, more Steve-O. When you're trying to translate all this stuff that, you know, in Jackass, you did most of it outdoors, or at least in a place that had, you you know like a lot of room around you to work with and a lot of interactive stuff going on you're trying to do it on stage how do you have to kind of like narrow that the idea of the joke down enough for it to be funny for somebody that's sitting like in the back row as opposed to somebody that's in the front row uh i mean i don't know.

There's plenty of stuff that we did on Jackass that didn't require a great deal of space.

And when it comes to really doing heavy stunts on stage, that's not what I do routinely on my whole tour. When it's time to to do like I had all the jackass guys come to the taping of the gnarly special.
So they would come out on stage and do some like fucking massive stunt, which was like blocked out and shot for the special. I think that everybody's able to see who's in attendance.
For that purpose, we were filming

a show,

essentially. But, but yeah, dude, like when, when Jackass first came out, there was like the director, Jeff Tremaine, like he, when he let me know that the, that the pilot got ordered to series, he said, yo, it's not a pilot anymore.
We got like eight episodes and so I need you to take all of your video and send it in so that we can license it and put it right onto the show. And I sent in all this shit that I had and then I followed up and I was like, yo, what are you using? And he was like, man, like not one fucking clip you sent in is allowed on TV.
He's like, because MTV was really touchy about fire. And my rule was always like, no matter what you do, it's cooler if you're on fire.
And I was always on fire. So that ruled out a ton of footage.
They had another rule that was that if you're going to jump off something, it can't be above a certain height. And I was constantly jumping off shit that was way too tall while I was on fire.
I was like, baby, and speaking of fire, like the grand finale of the gnarly special, I got burned so fucking bad. I had to have skin grafts on 15% of my body.
Oh shit. Like it's the worst fucking injury.
The most painful situation I have ever been in my life. And thank God it's finally out.
So yeah, again, check that out. But so when Jeff Tremaine told me that nothing was allowed on TV, I was legitimately worried, like, what kind of fucking pussy ass show is this? You know, I got actually concerned that it was going to be like, you know, so watered down that it wasn't like that it wasn't intense.

And of course, we figured our way around all their rules.

But out of the gate, I knew that I had like a wealth of footage that I could distribute on my own.

At that time, every night on TV, it was like Girls Gone Wild, like caught wild like caught on tape there were these like you know too hot for tv videos and i was like man i'm gonna make my own too hot for tv videos which i totally did and i also like put together a whole fucking tour where essentially i would come out on stage get all fucked up and uh and walk everybody through what you're not allowed to do on TV. You know, and that was the whole show.
And whenever I promoted it, I promised, I said, I will be drunk and on drugs or your money back, which I was so proud of. And so, yeah, that was like kind of the deal.
And it was those days were something else man those days were something else but as far as to answer the question what's it like doing the shit on the stage nothing stopped us man yeah that stage was covered in blood barf piss fucking every night man at the time we would be doing the show at universities where we would be like wiping out their student council allotted entertainment funds by pissing and bleeding and barfing all over the stage and then just fucking trying to hump as many of their students as possible. This has been awesome, Steve.
I had one last question.

It's the MeUndies soft question of the day.

You're a podcaster, so you know about this stuff.

Go to MeUndies.com.

I haven't done MeUndies yet.

I don't know why.

But yeah, dude, I love it.

And I love being on the podcast bandwagon.

I also saw you guys on TMZ. Yeah uh yeah fucking congrats man it's crazy i don't even really remember that they cut they cut out too much of a because we started giving harvey shit we started quoting how much money he was worth and being like hey harvey do you want it we're like dude it looks like you're worth 20 million dollars on google here like how going to give for the kids? Yeah, I don't know if that's it or not.
But he got. That sounds to me a little light.
A little light. But he was like, what the hell? I think that sounds considerably light for Harvey Levin.
Yeah. And then we just started shaming him.
We're like, all right, so we're going to put you down for zero dollars for the kids. So, like, do you want to tell the kids you want to go to the hospital and tell the kids you're not going to be giving money? They cut that.
But to his credit, he donated. Yes, he didn't tell anybody.
He's a good guy. He donated.
Yes. But yeah, I mean, trust me.
Trust me. You don't want to like feud with TMZ.
No, he was very nice. He hit us up right after.
And he was like, tell me where to donate. I will donate.
So shout out to him. I love it.
But I love it. And then the last time I saw him, I was like, tell me where to donate.
I will donate. So shout out to him.
I love it. I love it.
And then the last time I saw him, he complimented me on that. He said, man, you look great, dude.
So much better than Bam. So I was like, right.
Something like that. But yeah, I've always had a pretty good relationship with TMZ.
Yeah. And that's where I get my news.
Yeah. Fuck anybody.
Fuck anybody who says that TMZ is like tabloid trash because, dude, their journalistic integrity is so solid that they don't get anything wrong. Yeah.
No, it's true. They don't.
And Harvey did. He donated after the fact and didn't make a big deal of it, which I appreciate even more.
So, alright. The MeUndies question.
Go to MeUndies.com slash PMT to get 15% off your first purchase. MeUndies.com slash PMT to get 15% off your first purchase.
Jackass 4. Is it happening? Is it fully happening? Have you guys already filmed a bunch of stuff? We were one week into production when shit got shut down.

But that's actually a good thing

because that week was so

fucking explosive

that we went

from like the, like

should these guys really be doing this?

You know, it was just kind of a fucking piss take

at this point. They're like, some of them

are 50 now. And in that one week we proved ourselves like i mean it was like there was the fucking heaviest week and we got like just this footage where like now paramount sees it like they're behind it like we're like they're you know when the world starts spinning again we're as big of a priority for Paramount Pictures as there is, from what I gather.
Hell yeah. The world-wielding laughter at that point, for sure.
Listen, that puts a smile on my face, knowing that it's still going to happen. It's going to happen even better.
Check out this fucking pisser. Check out this fucking kick in the balls.
during that one week while on the set, my agent calls me up and, uh, and he's like, Hey, look, man, I just kind of let you know that you're selling out like your, uh, all of your comedy club gigs, you know, so far in advance. Now it no longer makes sense to me to entertain any comedy club offers.
congratulations you have officially graduated to theaters whoa and i'm like i'm like rad fucking booking an international theater tour like not and then everything stopped yeah everything stopped everything stopped but then i started the podcast and uh i set up distribution for this gnarly comedy special, dude. I mean, I'll give you a spoiler from my comedy special, the gnarly thing.
Like, it's not just stand-up comedy. Like, I did all kinds of new stunts.
And one of them, not only did I swallow an entire load of Chris Pontius' cum, but I did it right in front of my father. Wait, you just took a shot to the mouth or what? I mean, he blasted a huge load into a condom in the bathroom.
He jacked up. And then he tied it in a knot and brought it out and handed it to me in front of my dad my dad this is yeah this is my dad where go ahead sorry sorry go ahead say well my my dad my dad's notoriously not cool with the like the the gay humor i remember my dad my dad was like why is this the right thing to do and i said oh i said uh i said dad i'm not doing this to hurt you he says you're not gonna hurt me you're gonna piss me off it's it's funny that we we talked about like what your parents reaction to all this stuff and everyone's parents reaction and showing how different of a world it is that you ate Chris Pontius is come in front of your dad and it was like yeah that's what I did and when you say that line I think all of us in this room are thinking our dads listen to this show and they're gonna be like what the fuck was that interview yeah and we didn't need any we didn't need any come right right I mean that's where the bar is at the way i look at it and uh i was really pleased to have like officially fucking raised it and thank you guys for letting me uh you know get so many shameless plugs in there and let everybody know that it's live right now on steveo.com and i did i invested more fucking i spent like 300 grand making that thing Go watch it right now.
Go watch it. I need people to go order it.
He ain't come for it. You ain't come for it.
That should be just like... That should be the line when you go to Steve-O.com like, I ain't come to make this.
Fucking watch it. I ain't come for it and I went on a burn unit tour.
We do owe it to you to watch this thing. The amount of punishment that your scrotum has taken over the year alone, I think should be worth everybody going out there to watch it.
Do you think, can you have kids? Yeah. I got a vasectomy, dude.
Like, that was one of my ideas I was sitting on for the longest time, the vasectomy Olympics. Is that, wait, that's separate from when you stapled your nutsack to your leg yeah right uh yeah that's a new one that's that's in the can dude i'll give you guys another one i'm just giving up giving shit up like uh check out all the needle marks in my back uh okay uh am i blocking yeah i'm blocking it okay i don't know if you can see like i had uh yeah i had a spinal cavity injection fucking to uh it's a drug called chloroprocaine and totally illegally this guy fucking and put the needle into my like four inches into my spinal cavity like it was so deep in there he plunges it full of this drug which renders my uh my whole lower half completely paralyzed that's what he was supposed to do so he plunges it in he's like all right go and and i just take off sprinting right and i'm like fucking sprinting laps back and forth until my fucking, I can feel it.
And I'm just like stomping and staggering, trying not to go down. And then I fucking collapsed.
And not only was my lower half paralyzed, but I couldn't feel anything up to my neck. And I was like, yo, dude, I can't fucking breathe.
I was like, I'm having a lot of of trouble breathing I thought I was fucking dying so bad and uh and then my crew starts fucking lighting up my legs with paintballs and stun guns and lighters it's fun if you're on fire you said that yourself right and I mean dude fucking uh it was like I mean paintballs have been kind of played out over the years, but it's never been like so weirdly fascinating where there's just no reaction. Yeah.
The biggest reaction there was out of me, it was like just shooting a dead body. It literally looked like I was just shooting a dead body.
And the only time I really, really reacted was when, uh, when they lifted up my legs legs because I couldn't tell they were fucking doing anything. All of a sudden, I could see my feet up in the air.
And it shocked the shit out of me to see my feet because I couldn't tell what was going on. And then all my wounds, my bullet holes, we smeared tattoo ink.
So hopefully I got some shit like uh it was like a tekashi 69 shootout because uh we did like all rainbow colored fucking ink smeared on these point blank paintball wounds oh my god dude so you say that you're like giving away spoilers i actually think that people are going to want to watch it more you have to watch that's kind of the beauty of it like you can spoil jackass well right it just makes you want to watch it even more than you did before sure the thing about that one is that we only filmed it this past weekend and that's going to be in the follow-up to gnarly perfect which um but yeah gnarly's loaded with there's plenty loaded into gnarly like i'm not I'm not, I will not waste anybody's time who goes to steveo.com to check it out.

I mean, go. there's plenty loaded into gnarly like i'm not i'm not i will not waste anybody's time who goes to steveo.com to check it out i mean go just look at the trailer like it's so fucking fucked up i love it what's what's the insurance like on on the set of jackass will anybody actually give you like liability shit i don't know dude i don't know i remember uh remember after we filmed Jackass 3D, I was already sober.

And that was the first time where going into it, I said, hey, what happens if somebody gets like really hurt or killed?

And I had never asked that before.

And they said, oh, workman's comp laws the californian workman's comp laws apply you're like all right that's a good enough answer for the time off for the funeral that sounded to me so funny and and already i got some workman's comp going on for jackass four in that first week. I got fucking hospitalized like a motherfucker.
And I can't give away what it was. But I broke my own rules.
You know, like I go into this, the last one and this one. And my rule is I don't want to be fucking paralyzed.
I don't want to be fucking killed. And I actually added I don't want any fucking brain trauma.
And I'm one week in, and I actually said to the camera going into this stunt, I was like, man, I had these rules. Fucking no spinal, no brain, no death.
And we're not even one week in. And I picked the wrong week to fucking quit doing all that shit.
And sure enough, half an hour later, I fucking wake up on the stretcher in the ambulance. God damn.
I'm excited, man. Actually, I woke up on the stretcher, like about to be loaded into the ambulance.
Jesus. And then I went out again, and I came to, like, being, like, out of the, I don't know, it was fucking, of filming was heavy and uh and and like there's full confidence for me that uh that it's gonna be a hit all right i love it i'm excited i can't wait to watch your special as well it's gonna be awesome yes well steve-o thank you so much uh go to steve-o.com do it right now go to steve-o.com buy the uh gnarly special also listen.
This has been awesome, man. Next time you're in New York City, we'd love to have you come by our studio.
Yeah, I love it. Congratulations on the meteoric success of your podcast.
And thank you for being so kind to me to alienate such a large portion of your audience that doesn't know about or care about jackass. It's been a real honor, man.
Thank you, guys. I appreciate it.
Thanks, man. All right, Steve-O.
Thanks so much, man. Also, can I just say, hearing you say dude, I think you have the best dude in the world.
Oh. Well, thanks, man.
Yeah, dude. Yeah.
Yeah. All right, man.
Thanks so much.

We're going to get right back to the show.

There are some things in life that just shouldn't be forgotten,

like bringing your keys when you leave the house,

setting your fantasy lineup, and most importantly, having Hidden Valley Ranch to watch the game.

Especially if you're having pizza.

Those creamy, zesty, cool ranch flavors take take each cheesy melty bite to an unforgettable level hidden valley ranch only serious about flavor all right back to part of my take okay let's get some segments finish up the show we forgot to talk about hockey hockey is back yeah congrats your blackhawks it's always good to have play hockey. I know you could have gotten the first overall pick, but you know what? Would you rather have a week and a half of a combination of misery and pain and maybe a couple glimpses of awesomeness now, or would you rather wait four years to maybe have a good player? I would take the immediate gratification every single time.
I also have tricked myself because it is Taze and Kane. I'm like, okay, well, they could just do it.
They could do it. And I should have done retroactive who's back.
Who's back is furiously Googling and checking on Twitter for the playoff schedule. I've been looking for it everywhere.
Where is it? Give me the playoff schedule. I need to plan the rest of my next two weeks around when the Blackhawks play.
So give it to me. Give it to me, give it to me.
Also, the Washington Capitals defeated the Bruins in the first round of the playoffs that ensured seeding. So Hank has to play.
Third? Yeah, they're third instead of fourth seed. The Islanders.
They have to play the Islanders. We're going to Borelli's.
Hank has to play against the Hurricanes. But you're fine with that, right? Remember that pig that they had last year? They should have killed that pig when the Hurricanes lost.
Agreed. I stand by that.
You can't have a rally pig, and then when they lose, be like, oh, yeah, now the rally pig gets to just live? And you can't bring a pig back. Right.
Because if you bring that same pig back from last year, I'm going to be the first person to start circling patches on its skin and be like, that's a different pig. Kill the pig.
Than the one last year. Listen, that's just how it works.
You can't just be like, we're going to ride the pig's momentum. Oh, whoops, we died.
Pig gets a limp. All right, this league, we got a lot of this league.
Damian Lillard versus the Clippers was an ultimate this league moment. So Dame missed two free throws at the end of the game.
Patrick Beverly was not playing and just clowning on him. Before that happened, Dameillard hit a three yes like pointing at pat beverly being like i want you yes yes and so pat beverly was was sitting out the game they were just clowning on him in an empty gym just yelling at him uh afterwards they interviewed damien lillard and were like how do you feel about it and he's like it's a sign of respect i've sent pat bever Beverly home before.
I've sent Paul George home before. That seems to be the end of it.
Nope. Then Paul George then took it to Instagram, which is like the full circle for this league.
I'm getting exhausted just explaining this. Instagram is the new Temecula.
It was like, you guys are chumps. You won't see me on these IGCs.
Called them chumps. Basically, yeah, they got into going back and forth with each other.

I would not fuck with Damian Lillard or Pat Beverly.

I wouldn't fuck with Pat Beverly.

Yeah, like fucking with Pat Beverly on the court,

that's like walking outside in a lightning storm with a nine iron.

He will fuck you up because that is what Pat Beverly has brought in to do

is just fuck with people.

And then Dame obviously said, Paul George, like you keep switching teams. You you don't want the hard work which if you're damian lillard you get to say that argument because you are you have been in in for the trailblazers your entire life uh you get to make that argument you absolutely get to make that argument uh paul george worked his way out of okc worked his way out of indiana so i think that stands but then then Pat Beverly was like Cancun on three.
So that always, that kind of ended. But then Damian Lillard dropped another 50 piece.
Yeah. 50 burger, 50 chicken McNuggets.
And the Clippers are currently getting smoked by the Nets. Which they're probably not trying.
But you've got to think Damian Lillard's going to sound off. It's been funny watching you go back and forth the last couple days between the Lakers and the Clippers both trying to avoid the Trailblazers in the first round because they're the team that nobody wants to play at West.
Oh, and we officially have a play-in game because the Grizzlies lost again so at worst the Grizzlies will be playing in a play-in, or at best the Grizzlies will be playing in a play-in game, at worst they won't even be in the play-in game, but that's going to be awesome. So August 15th is the first one.
If the eight seed wins, the eight seed's in. If the ninth seed wins, they play again the next day.
You got to win two to get in. They should do it on aggregate.
It should be like a two-game affair. That's going to be awesome, though.
That's going to be awesome. One game elimination.
And then we had Draymond get fined $50,000 for saying Devin Booker needs to get out of Phoenix on the set of TNT. Yeah.
Well, so people are saying that there shouldn't be these tampering laws anymore. Like $50,000 of Draymond Green is absolutely nothing.
It's actually probably worth it in terms of just like the message that he was sending to Booker at that point. Like $50,000 to tell Booker to leave Phoenix? Fuck yeah.
I also, I kind of love Draymond and Steph and Klay just being the ultimate, like, they're Cal. They're Coach Cal.
They're always recruiting. Yep.
I kind of love that about them. Yeah.
They're just always like, we don't care. You guys have already said everything you're going to say about us.
We're just going to keep recruiting talent. Yeah, no, they've, and the Warriors, like, given how they put their team together the last couple couple years like they are able to speak with authority on whether or not players should leave yeah their market that hasn't treated them well yeah come on over although the the um someone tweeted i think it was devin booker has won more games in the last week and a half than draymond has won in 2020 yeah but draymond gets to claim all the victories that he's had with steph curry and Kevin Durant and all that.
Suns are hot. Yeah.
Suns are hot.

Uh... in 2020.
Yeah, but Draymond gets to claim all the victories that he's had with Steph Curry and Kevin Durant and all that. Sons are hot! Sons are hot.
What else we have? Oh, Billy. Kevin Durant.
Kevin Durant. What about it? Did you guys see this? No.
Oh, man. Some guy on Twitter, his name is ZTheCreator out of nowhere just tweeted, Why are you such a weirdo? You were too wealthy for this.
You really went and followed my girl. That's why blocked you weirdo at kevin durant and then kevin durant replied and said my bad i accidentally pressed follow on like dollar picks my phone tripping i love it no matter how rich you are how famous you are you're still going to be you're you can still go to that's a great response you can you can yeah you can't buy your way just owning it up to it and the guy a great attorney to get you out of horny jail.
Everyone goes sometimes. You just proven that everything I said was true.
You really moved like a hoe. And then Kevin Durant said, you're just enjoying this experience.
You won't forget about this day ever with a bunch of ex-mates. Oh, that's okay.
Kevin Durant has won this one easily. It's true.
He followed your girl. He liked all her pictures.
And now he's just dunking on you on Twitter. Now this guy's got a story to tell all his friends.
Like, hey, you know who wants to fuck my girlfriend? Right. Kevin Durant.
Right. Until, obviously, his girlfriend breaks up with him.
He's like, oh, Kevin Durant wants to fuck me? That's kind of cool. What if he was really into it? That's the way to handle all this.
Like, if KD starts liking all your girlfriend's tweets. Like, yeah, KD, let's do this.
Yeah. Come cuck me.
I get off to off to it. We can only hope he's like a huge LeBron fan or something.
This is just the final nail. Like Kevin Durant going to the Warriors crushed.
Is that not, would that not be tampering? Like what if, what if you just catfish a Booker to get him to golden state by like creating a profile of a super, maybe, maybe a chick with a huge dumper. That's why we have dumpers on Instagram.ers.
And then you follow Booker and you put your location in as Oakland, California.

Yes.

And then just start liking all his tweets.

That's not tampering.

Reminder, follow big dumpers on Instagram.

Big underscore dumpers.

The best dumpers on Instagram.

Easily.

I haven't seen better dumpers than that.

No.

All right.

Let's finish up Billy's list. But before we do that, Billy, we gave a cliffhanger.
So you did listen. Did you listen? Yes.
He listened. Damn.
All right, so the cliffhanger from Wednesday's show that then went to Friday's show that now is here on Monday's show. Finish it.
Man receives random seeds from China and has decided to plant them and see what happens. This is illegal.
But the man kept... Wait, wait, one second, one second.
What exactly do you want me to do here? You have it written down. I know, but, Joey, just read this.
You need to tell us what happened. What happened with the seeds? Okay, just...
So, he plants the seeds. Yeah, and? And he puts Miracle-Gro on them, and a gourd pops out.

Oh, okay.

And, well, personally, I think that the gourd was, you know, maybe there was something mysterious with the gourd,

and it's going to try to harm American gourds with some sort of disease or parasites.

Murder gourds.

Murder gourds.

And guess what's a very American gourd?

Pumpkin. Pumpkin.
Whoa. Orange pumpkin.
China's going to cancel Halloween? Exactly. disease or parasites murder gourds and guess what's a very american gourd pumpkin pumpkin whoa orange pumpkin china's gonna cancel halloween exactly wow and guess what that's gonna cause no pumpkin pie on thanksgiving oh my god trickle down no pumpkin pie on christmas christmas gets ruined because there's no good vibes from thanksgiving uh you could also say like what if the gourds just strangle out local vegetation? They take out Christmas trees.
No, the other seeds, there's a variety of seeds. There's pine seeds.
There's all sorts of seeds. So, yeah, maybe they're going after Christmas trees.
Maybe they're going after pumpkins. These are invasive species.
These are murder gourds. These are.
If you plant them, then it'll suck off the life from, like, the native species here in America. I think whatever foreign entity is sending these seeds into the United States, foreign entity.
Can we already skip that? They're from China. You're working for the NBA right now, Billy? China's Communist Party.
Steve Kerr over here. Anyway.
Billy's very sympathetic to President Xi. I think whoever's doing this is- They're very nice seeds.
Waging the war on Christmas. Okay.
So I like that. I can connect.
But also... That was worth the cliffhanger.
Is this payback for TikTok? Exactly. Like, we're going to strangle out TikTok, so we're going to send Vine over.
Well, Bill Gates might get TikTok. That's true.
Who would you trust with the information? Twitter might also get it too, right? So you have three entities. Chinese government.
Mm-hmm. Bill Gates.
Earth. Earth.
Billy's brain. And who owns Twitter again? Jack.
Jack. At Jack.
Which one of those guys you want having your TikTok information? Wait, say it again. Chinese government.
Yeah. Bill Gates.
Yeah. Jack.
Jack. Because I think Jack is too incompetent to accurately manage my sensitive information correctly.

Bill Gates, though, didn't he create...

Bill Gates a while ago created this thing where you could basically turn poop into water.

That's true.

So think about all the shitty tweets we have.

Jack invented the like button.

Shitty TikToks.

More shitty TikToks than shitty tweets.

Right.

So what could we harness that into?

Pumpkins. Done.
Boom. Boom.
Halloween. Halloween saves.
All the world's problems. All right.
Anything else on this sheet? Let's see. We've got...
I had the Ken Durant. You did? Yeah, you did.
You did. Good job.
You had Whipsnakes winning. Congrats to the Whipsnakes on back-to-back championships.
Let's see. Dynasty? You said 12 and 6 are the 2020 champions, and then you put Waterdogs have not, but you didn't finish that sentence.
What were we going to say there about the Waterdogs? That they didn't win the championship. Waterdogs are the best first-half team in lacrosse.
That's just facts. Snake becomes strap hanger? What is that? I don't know.
There was snakes on a train. That's classic.
Have to put that on the sheet when you see that. What if it was pizza snake and we were all...
Damn. It was a rat snake.

We were all hot dog snake.

That would break the internet if a snake ate a slice of pizza on a New York City subway platform and you could see the slice of pizza in his stomach.

Or if it was a snake...

Buzzfeed would be back in business.

I think right now glizzies are more current to pizza.

They're hot in the streets.

So if a snake was just deep-throating and glizzy like Heather Brooke, that'd be sick. Yeah.
NASA to remove offensive names from planets and other heavenly bodies. That's on here too.
Yeah. The Eskimo Nebula is being nixed and the Siamese.
You know what I'm offended by? Go off. White dwarfs.
Why? No reason in particular. I just think that's not.
The things out there? We should not be calling things as a guy that is 5'8

and have been told by numerous internet memes

that I'm the size of a grain of rice.

I don't want stars to be called white dwarfs anymore.

Dude, that's like $1 million in the rice thing with Jeff Bezos.

So feel good about that.

That's true.

Yeah.

Good point.

You're worth a million dollars.

Anything else, Billy?

Well, you know what's the biggest unintended consequence

of not having a college football season?

Thank you. You're worth a million dollars.
Anything else, Billy? Well, you know what's the biggest unintended consequence of not having a college football season? All the college football players are going to get fat. Billy, football, you've been leading the way.
I know. We need to do a PSA.
This is your body on football. This is your body without.
You're the after. Or it's like this is your podcast with football, and it's a clip of us talking about football with no Billy.
This is your podcast without football, and it's Billy talking about murder hornets. Talking about snakes.
Yeah, and pumpkins. There it is, folks.
Scary, scary world out there. All right, Wednesday, we got Tim Woods back doing some Dungeons & Dragons.
We'll see you then. Love you guys.
Billy, do you have any closing thoughts? Yes. Oh, wait.

We forgot to mention our darling Jake.

Yes, Jake. Broke his ankle.

Jake joined the Foot Injury Survivors Club, a part of my take,

of which myself and Liam are card-carrying members.

But, again, have you had a foot injury?

I have had many foot injuries.

It's serious stuff.

Yes.

So, Jake has a pretty much broken ankle right now,

which he suffered beating Hank in tennis today. And Billy, just so you know, Jake, Billy didn't laugh at you, but he did.
A lot. I did not.
Yeah, you did. Billy laughed at you.
I was very supportive of you. Billy laughed at you.
Billy set up the ice bucket. Yeah, but that's after I forced him to.
We also told him it was an ice bucket challenge. He was like, sweet, that was so funny.
It was during the very last point of tennis of the day. During Canadian doubles, I went over for an overhead slam.
It went in, but my ankle did not. That was like Tiger Woods and Brooks Koepka winning on an injured foot.
Congratulations. You're a warrior, Jake.
Thank you. You're a warrior.
Thank you guys for the help. All right, Billy, you got anything? Why don't you break down Jake's ankle sprains for the people? Hurt or injured Jake.
What is it? High or low ankle sprain? Anyway, so I've been thinking a lot lately. I've actually been having very vivid dreams of playing football lately.
I went camping over the weekend so I was deep in the woods disconnected from all sorts of internet and I really just started You were able to tweet a lot considering you had no internet.

I didn't tweet for two days.

I started your tweets today.

What?

The one that just said

bear poop?

Bear scat?

Yeah.

That was on Sunday.

That was my best picture

on my camping trip.

Anyway,

I think I'm going to make a comeback.

I'm not sure how.

But it's going to happen.

Anyway,

love you guys Stay off me.

Stay off me.

Stay off me.

Stay off me.

Stay off me.

Stay off me.

Stay off me.

Stay off me. Oh, yeah.
Thank you. Take on me Take on me

Take me

Oh

Take on me Thank you. Oh, yeah.
Thank you. Oh, yeah.
It's Pardon My Take presented by Barstool Sports.