Steve-O, CFB On The Ropes And The PGA Championship

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Speaker 1 On today's Pardon My Take, we have Steve-O.

Speaker 1 Awesome, awesome interview. Probably the hardest that PFT and I have ever fanboyed out.

Speaker 1 We've had a lot of big guests, but Steve-O, we basically went Chris Farley, like, hey, dude, remember that time that Preston farted into a tube and then you puked?

Speaker 1 Or remember that time you got bit by an alligator? Awesome time, though, with him. He's got a new special out.
He gives us a lot of behind-the-scenes stuff.

Speaker 1 So get ready for that. Also, maybe if you're listening in a car with kids, don't listen to the whole thing because there's some Steve-O stuff.
They have to learn sooner or later. Steve-O stuff.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, they'll walk away from that saying. He ate Chris Pontice has come.
Maybe I should light myself on fire more. I'll say it now so that way

Speaker 1 when it gets said, it doesn't feel as jarring.

Speaker 1 We have news around the sports world. We have the PGA championship.
We have who's back of the week and a this league. And Billy is back.
Unfortunately, we did not reach, what did we say?

Speaker 1 We had had 2 million downloads.

Speaker 1 I think we only had one million 1.9 yep so we were close so billy's allowed back billy didn't listen to the show so he has no idea what we're talking about right now he did oh so what did we say you said that if it got uh if they listened 17 times that it would up the listening rate and i get kicked off the show okay and then pft made several jokes about how many like uh shows should have done that with characters.

Speaker 1 Got it.

Speaker 1 Okay, that's enough. All right, we got it.
You're here.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Billy's back.

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Speaker 1 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 Look at the hangar low-washing.

Speaker 1 And then I can't name all on the sun. Oh, no, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue.

Speaker 1 And then we'll take

Speaker 1 It's Pardon My Take presented by Bars.

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$10 to the ASPCA. Today is Monday, August 10th.

Speaker 1 PFT, are you in the right headspace to receive information that could possibly hurt you? Hang on.

Speaker 1 No. Yes.
College College football has been canceled. Yeah.
Not officially, but it feels

Speaker 1 on the ropes. The Mac canceled on Saturday, which, as we all know, the Mac is the most important conference out there.
So the Dominoes have fallen since then.

Speaker 1 Right now, as we're sitting here on Sunday night, it has not been officially canceled.

Speaker 1 But I think we need to just expect the worst and hope for some long-shot miracle to happen and have the season happen.

Speaker 1 But as we're sitting here right now, it feels like the Big Ten is going to announce that they're canceling on Monday, and then who knows what's going to happen.

Speaker 1 I could still see the SEC being like, fuck everyone we're playing, which I will watch every single game, but that is where we're at. I'm sad.
It hurts. Pain.
It's bad.

Speaker 1 It's not a good position to be in as far as sports fandom goes, but I think maybe the NFL will step up this fall.

Speaker 1 And as long as they have a season, they'll probably have some games going on Saturdays.

Speaker 1 So we could run into a situation where it's like game Thursday night, game Saturday afternoon, games Saturday night, games all day on Sunday. So they'll fill the void to a certain extent.

Speaker 1 But yeah, it's going to suck not having college football on Saturday. The only spin zone is LSU, back-to-back national champions.

Speaker 1 They remain the title holders.

Speaker 1 What I don't, I get, I understand all of it because essentially it boils down to, and I see all these tweets, people being like, MLB figured it out, basketball figured it out, NHL figured out, golf figured out.

Speaker 1 Well, guess what the difference is? This is the one sport where they don't pay their athletes. And if they paid their athletes, I actually think it would happen.

Speaker 1 They should basically be like, hey, do you want to get paid? Okay, come play.

Speaker 1 Because you can't really ask a 19-year-old to go out there and play during a pandemic, not knowing the future health implications necessarily when they're not getting paid to do it.

Speaker 1 And the problem is the NCAA will do everything, including cancel a season, before they pay their athletes. Yes.

Speaker 1 So they want to keep the air of student athletes and amateurism alive, even though we all know that's foolish. But I still go back to the fact that I really do think

Speaker 1 the part that's not getting talked about, and Trevor Lawrence had a great tweet thread, that when you take football away from

Speaker 1 these huge teams and basically say, go fend for yourself. There is a possibility it can be at times more dangerous when you're like, you're not getting tested anymore.

Speaker 1 You're not under, you know, supervision all the time. You're not part of a team atmosphere.
Basically, go fend for yourself.

Speaker 1 And I think that's a valid argument that just kind of gets lost where everyone says, we have to cancel it.

Speaker 1 There's nuance to this. And absolutely.
The United States of America doesn't do well with nuance anymore. But you're right.

Speaker 1 I think that having access to world-class health care, or at least like United States-class health care, at the top of it, when you're like, if you're an athlete at Clemson, you are getting much, much better care taking care of you than you are if you're just like a random 21-year-old in Aiken, South Carolina.

Speaker 1 And how about if you want to play, you have to follow, like, you have to wear a mask and you have to socially distance.

Speaker 1 You have to be cautious. Whereas the alternative is let's just let all the student athletes go out in the world and who knows what happened because guess what?

Speaker 1 It's, it's now, they're just part of, and I get the liability and everything.

Speaker 1 Billy told us a fact that one in 50 offensive linemen will die from a heart attack during a game, which I don't know where he got that fact. Out of his ass.

Speaker 1 He literally just said that before the show.

Speaker 1 I get all of it. I'm just sad that we're probably not going to have college football this season.
I wish they could figure it out.

Speaker 1 And it feels like it's being made to be a black and white issue when it's not fully that.

Speaker 1 What I keep going back to, though, PFT, hold on, I want to hear your way, but what I keep going back to is why

Speaker 1 cancel it right now when,

Speaker 1 like,

Speaker 1 if in March, New York was absolutely ravaged by coronavirus. Now New York's doing pretty well.
Like, I don't know. I guess you kind of have to because you can't just let people just linger there.

Speaker 1 But it feels like, I don't know maybe delay it a month delay it two months see if things get better and knowing that it probably won't but at least you give the opportunity that maybe we can figure out a way instead of being like here we are first second week of august everything's canceled we're done okay what about this idea i stole this from breaking bad what if

Speaker 1 They just elected to pay the players, but they're like, we'll pay you guys each a dollar. Now you're technically employees or minimum wage.

Speaker 1 Like in Breaking Bad, when they saved Bob Odenkirk's life, Better Call Saul's life, it was like, hey, hey, pay me a dollar. Now I'm officially your lawyer.
Right.

Speaker 1 You know, now you can tell me anything that you want. And I can't say anything.
If you find a way to make the players professionals. Now, what about this? Actually, like a serious way to do it?

Speaker 1 What if just every football program disassociated themselves from the school technically?

Speaker 1 So they're like a small business that's being run in South Bend, Indiana, or a small business in Austin, Texas, or Tuscaloosa, one that like is a little bit separate from the schools themselves.

Speaker 1 So then all of a sudden, yeah, you can have like a loose affiliation with the campus, but you're not working underneath the NCAA anymore.

Speaker 1 Now it's just like a collection of small businesses across the country that happen to kick ass at football. I'm in for that.

Speaker 1 It's like company softball teams, right? You bring in some ringers, you pay the guys more to work at your company, so then you dominate in the season against the other power plant in Albuquerque.

Speaker 1 So like, why not have a way where we can at least,

Speaker 1 this is a moment for college sports where you can say, this is the time, if there was ever a time, to like just get rid of the whole ruse that is that they won't these guys aren't money making machines for you here's what bothers me the most is why are all billionaires fucking dorks and losers because if i were a billionaire right now i'd sit down and be like hey i just crunched the numbers uh 70 or so power five teams pay each player 100 guys on a team 100 000 at 700 million dollars if i had if i had bezos money dude if you're bloomberg that would make you a president yes You could have used that $700 million instead of your weird fucking three-week campaign and just paid the players, and we would have had college football, and everyone would have voted for you.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 7 Would you pay for your own stadium?

Speaker 1 No. No.
No. No.
That's the best. You have to have tax incentives.
Yes. I will get the bear in my back pocket.
Listen to me.

Speaker 1 All the people will have to pay for my stadium. But you know what?

Speaker 1 I actually think that most people, at least in SEC country, would take that in a heartbeat where it's like, yeah, raise my taxes 1 to 2% to fund a new stadium. Yes.

Speaker 1 Give it to billionaire Big Cat and he's going to make football happy. I just wish we had one cool billionaire.
Yeah. One cool billionaire who's like, you know what? I got $20 billion.

Speaker 1 What's a bill? What's throwing a bill at this so that the country can be happy on Saturdays in the fall? Nothing. Yes.

Speaker 1 Fuck that. This is why the lottery needs to put out bigger jackpots.
How much bigger Jeff Bezos is.

Speaker 1 We need billionaires out there that did

Speaker 1 absolutely nothing to get their money. Like somebody that is just given a lottery ticket for a billion dollars, a dude like that would come up with a sweet kick-ass idea like this.

Speaker 1 Dude, Jeff Bezos has fucking $190 billion.

Speaker 1 You can't give me one bill, Jeff. Jeff, you fuck dude.

Speaker 1 I shouldn't say this because now he's getting the robots and all that shit. Bill Gates has $113 billion.
Give me one bill, Bill. The Rock right now has an opportunity.
Give me a bill.

Speaker 1 If The Rock, Florio put this out here, I talked about it last week, but if the XFL was able to work a bubble,

Speaker 1 then they could get the college players to play for an XFL team in the bubble. I don't think that's going to happen.
I just want college football players.

Speaker 1 What I just said to you was exactly what you're saying, but I put the letters XFL in front of it. No, but the problem with

Speaker 1 you were talking about the college. No, because college football players, your premise is college football players will then decide to play in the XFL to improve their draft

Speaker 1 status. I think that actually would hurt their draft status for a good portion of them.

Speaker 1 You don't think about the downside because they're going to play against adults, and if they look bad, now their upside's gone, and now they can go.

Speaker 1 Like we always talk about, oh, you go from a third rounder to a first rounder. What about a third rounder to a seventh rounder?

Speaker 1 Or what you could do if you're the XFL is you could say, we're not going to have it be the same as last year where it's not going to be grown men. This is specifically for like college kids.

Speaker 1 Then I'm fine with that. Yes.
Okay. So that's essentially college players play.
But I also, you root for the laundry.

Speaker 1 I mean, you need the XFL to be. the you know the colors and the bands and all that stuff.
It doesn't feel the same when it's whatever the whip snakes versus the crowd The legends.

Speaker 1 There's going to be a big gaping hole in the South this fall, and that's going to be no college football on Saturdays. Nick Saban might die.
Nick Saban might die.

Speaker 1 You just killed Nick Saban.

Speaker 1 Does Nick Saban count as a coronavirus death? No, Nick Saban just counts as a coronavirus. I think it's adjacent.
It's a football death. Yeah, but it's adjacent.
The coronavirus caused it.

Speaker 1 I think that if you're looking to set up a business in the South, just like start a church in the South right now where you have service on Sundays, your communion is natty light, Bud Light, and I don't know, Cheez-Its and cornbread and pulled pork.

Speaker 1 And you just encourage people to show up and get drunk. People are going to just be looking for an excuse to party on a Saturday, and they're not going to have it this fall.

Speaker 1 The worst part about this, like, just not knowing what's going to happen, is I'll believe anything. So I saw some guy tweet.
He had 246 followers. He said he's an independent journalist.

Speaker 1 And his tweet was that Penn State, Ohio State, and Michigan, and Nebraska are planning on joining the Big 12 this year. And I was like, this guy, guy, he's making a lot of sense.

Speaker 1 What if there's a conference realignment that just keeps happening into September? Just ideas of teams that want to join.

Speaker 1 The last conference that doesn't cancel the season, you're going to have these football powerhouses at least considering joining your conference. Can we do an opt-in? Can everyone,

Speaker 1 if your team decides the problem is, I keep going back to this, like when we talked about, you know,

Speaker 1 players probably being safer if they're in the facility and they're playing football and they're being monitored, that still does rely on the coaches being decent human beings, which most of them aren't.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Like they will definitely take advantage of it.

Speaker 1 So in a perfect world, you hope like, hey, if all the players were in the facility and they were getting tested and they had medical, you know, looking after them and everything that was good, it's probably safer.

Speaker 1 But then you just throw in the fact that a coach will be like, oh, you have coronavirus, tough shit, you got to play. It would be hilarious if Michigan.
Or your scholarship's getting picked.

Speaker 1 If Michigan decided that they were going to be the last holdout and they started to schedule games against like Little Sisters of the Poor and

Speaker 1 the

Speaker 1 sort of junior college that's still going around,

Speaker 1 then Michigan wins. Don't make me do it.
They go 5-0 against teams that have

Speaker 1 like part-time students, and then they declare a national championship. Don't make me do it.
I'm going to do it. Also, while you're looking this up,

Speaker 1 I'm going to quote our good friend Ian Rappaport because he said, I think he really has his finger on the pulse.

Speaker 1 He said, imagine if college football had the kind of leadership that the NFL and the NFLPA showed over the last few months to put the league and its players in a position to play a full season amid a pandemic.

Speaker 1 Just the incredible hours of work and teamwork. And the NCAA is the opposite.
Yep.

Speaker 1 Congrats to the NFL for putting in the requisite 48 hours before the players reported to camp to figure out how they were going to handle the COVID virus.

Speaker 1 Shocking he could send that tweet with his face all the way up, Roger Goodell's asshole. Yeah.
I'm surprised he could use his thumbs when they were both holding water. Oh my god.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So Michigan football, we can go back in time.

Speaker 1 1896, they played Grand Rapids High. Uh-huh.
Yeah, have Michigan play against high schools. Beat them.
Harbor would be down for them.

Speaker 1 They started Eastern Michigan, then Grand Rapids High, then just a team named Physicians and Surgeons. Uh-huh.

Speaker 1 What was the spread on that game? They won that game only 28-0. Wow.
Fucking, goddammit. Is Michigan overrated?

Speaker 1 And then they played Lake Forest, Purdue, Lehigh, Minnesota, Oberlin, Wittenberg, and Chicago. And this was like before, like, the teams were traveling by train, I would have to imagine.

Speaker 1 They would invite teams and then teach them how to play football and then whoop them up like

Speaker 1 every little brother ever. Do every big brother ever.
Do it, Michigan. I'm going to teach you how to do this game.
Now I'm going to beat you by 100.

Speaker 1 In 1894, they played Michigan Military Academy twice. Twice.

Speaker 1 And then they played

Speaker 1 MMH. All events.
I don't even know what these places are.

Speaker 1 We need to go back in time. We need to let Michigan just make their own schedule, go back in time, and just start whooping up on random people.
I would watch it. Yes.
I'd watch anything on Saturday.

Speaker 1 I do hope they have NFL on Saturday. Oh, here's the only positive.
Okay, one positive. Let's finish this with one positive.

Speaker 1 Kirk Herbstreet and Chris Fowler on Monday Night Football will be phenomenal. They're a great Monday Night Football booth.
They have

Speaker 1 Monday Night Football. They will be, that will be a good, we won't have a season of complaining about Monday Night Football.

Speaker 1 And Herb Street's got the Trent Dil for private jet that he can take around, so he's not going to get sick. Yep.
So that is one positive.

Speaker 1 There's the one positive that we can go with there that feels like maybe there's.

Speaker 1 Still sucks. You're right.

Speaker 1 I do think that there's a good chance that Nick Sabin, the likelihood that he dies from having no football, is actually way higher than the likelihood that he dies from coronavirus. Right, exactly.

Speaker 1 You are putting his life at risk.

Speaker 1 People who are deciding to cancel this. It fucking sucks.
I would say him,

Speaker 1 the Stoops brothers, probably. Yep.

Speaker 1 I'm going to go with Jimbo Fisher.

Speaker 1 I feel like he needs football.

Speaker 1 Charlie Weiss, he probably won't get his payment. That's true.
How is this going to affect his buyout? Herm Edwards. How is Herm Edwards going to be able to turn young boys into

Speaker 1 upstanding young men if he doesn't have a football season in which to teach them? Oh, man.

Speaker 1 Maybe that's what we do. Maybe we have just a live cam, like

Speaker 1 when a bald eagle is about to give birth. We just have a live cam on Nick Saban every Saturday in the fall.
Just him puttering around the house.

Speaker 1 I would bet on him. He's getting his cream pies and watching the weather channel.
He probably still gets up at the same time every morning. Absolutely.

Speaker 1 He'll drive into the office. Yes.
He'll hallucinate that he's going to be playing like UAB that weekend, drop a game playing for him.

Speaker 1 Actually, you know what we should do? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Without any sort of instruction whatsoever, we should just put Xbox consoles in the hands of the coaches and have them play an NCAA 14 tournament against each other. That would be good.

Speaker 1 And just watch them call those as like it was a real game. And yeah, all of them get pissed.
I'll watch that in a second.

Speaker 1 Now, people are probably saying, you talked a lot about college football. Aren't you missing a big tournament that happened? We're going to talk about the PJA championship.
Brooks lost.

Speaker 1 The course won. What the fuck do you want from us? The course won this weekend.

Speaker 1 He was hurt. Brooks see his hip.
Brooks injured his leg. No, you think.
Wait, hold on.

Speaker 1 Brooks would never make an excuse. But if we were to make an excuse for Brooks, he was so clearly hurt, and anyone who's talking bad about him right now can go fuck themselves.

Speaker 1 We don't make fun of somebody that's that's injured. We don't root for injuries.
Right, we make fun of them when they complain about little ants. Right.
The course won. It defeated Brooks.

Speaker 1 Murakawa, he hit an awesome shot. That was like that drive was happy no more shit.
Yeah, and he was phenomenal. Yeah, he drove it to within, what, like five feet on a par four.
It was just.

Speaker 1 It's actually perfect that he won in the exact way that Bryson would have wanted to win by like flexing his drive on a par four.

Speaker 1 And then Bryson had a chance where I think it was on 18, he could have gotten close, and then he ended up about like one club length short.

Speaker 1 So he wasn't strong enough to put himself in position to win.

Speaker 1 I've got to imagine that Bryson,

Speaker 1 his stretch marks that he has on his body right now, from putting on what, 50, 90 to 240. It's funny.

Speaker 1 He looks like a tiger right now with his stripes. Sometimes they'll have on like ESPN his old picture, and it just looks nothing like him.
Absolutely not.

Speaker 1 So it was actually, it was phenomenal golf.

Speaker 1 I was glued to it all weekend. It was great that we got like prime-time golf.

Speaker 1 The only complaint I have is when you get to Sunday afternoon or Sunday evening and there was that moment there was like six guys tied for first and your brain just says, this is going to be incredible because we're going to have like a five-way tie and a five-way like sudden death, you know, last man standing overtime.

Speaker 1 And then it just didn't happen because Morakawa had that insane shot. Yeah.
Like you get all built up. Like this is going to be incredible.

Speaker 1 They're going to have to have five guys tee off for, you know, a three-hole playoff.

Speaker 1 And then he just dusted everyone in the last three three holes if your guy's not winning then you just root for chaos that's what you have to do at that point and then it throws into play like what do you do if there's a six-person playoff is it going to take place tomorrow morning because it's getting late is it going to happen now how many holes is it how long is it going to last like one of the best sports experiences of my life was back in I think it was 2008

Speaker 1 when they had the U.S. Rocket

Speaker 1 at the end of that Sunday when you're like, guess what? We get an entire another day, like a bonus day of major championship golf.

Speaker 1 That is something you, you're like, I'm not doing shit at work tomorrow.

Speaker 1 I made some golf fans very upset when Brooks had a little bit of a hip thing. And I was like, there's never been a player

Speaker 1 who's played around with a leg injury in a championship. In a major championship?

Speaker 1 It was like, bro, Tiger won with a broken leg and an ACL. Yeah, I know.
I know who Tiger was. And also, we don't know what Brooks says.
Brooks might have two torn ACLs. You don't know that.

Speaker 1 Let's not judge a person's injury using the eyeball test. It's called a HIPAA violation.
It was awesome, though. It was awesome golf.

Speaker 1 I mean, any major, whether you're talking about the Travelers or the Masters,

Speaker 1 it's all awesome. I do love it being on West Coast time, though.
Yeah. That is so great.
That's like, you don't normally see golf in prime time like this.

Speaker 1 I expected, like, it'd be sweet if they put the Sunday night football guys up there with Jim Nance to do the commentary at the end of the day. When's the next one? Like, mid-September, September.

Speaker 1 Mid-September? And then

Speaker 1 when is

Speaker 1 November. November.

Speaker 1 I wish they did the majors like every other week for two months. Yeah.
Because I just get that.

Speaker 1 There's something about watching major golf. It's just so much fun.
And it just sets up the weekend. So it's such a great couch activity for an entire weekend.
It's breathing in. I want more.

Speaker 1 It threw off the nap schedule, though. Like watching the PGA on a Sunday night, on a Saturday night, you're like, you know what? I feel more tired than I usually do.

Speaker 1 It's because I don't get my naps in the middle of the day. It's true.
Anything else before we get to who's back?

Speaker 1 We have, we'll talk about the bubble and Dame Lillard after Steve-O.

Speaker 1 Oh, NFL, Mort went viral viral because 69 players opted out. Yep.
You know what she's doing? Very nice, Mort.

Speaker 1 Mort probably 69s. Mort definitely 69s.
He definitely has. I've got a joke that I'm not going to make about Mort, but it would have been funny.
Just know that for the record. That was big of you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, thank you. Anything else? Oh, there was a brawl in baseball.
That was pretty cool. Yeah.
Well, the dude charged the dugout. You don't see that very often.

Speaker 1 By the way, I think that that's bullshit. If you call a guy and you say, come over, and the guy starts running at you to fight, you have to fight that guy.

Speaker 1 You can't rely on your sprung your spry young players to like catch the guy and intercept him on the way in and let them fight him You you initiated the fight You got to finish it now. I agree.

Speaker 1 I totally agree. So I guess just like let's have an MMA fight.
Who was it? It was the manager, right? Yeah of the Astros. Yes.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Listen

Speaker 1 like the bench coach. Yeah.
Oh, let that guy fight. Just beefing.
Just beefing. Um, all right, before we get to who's back, we got a new

Speaker 1 ad alert. Mean, me, me.
This is a big one. Sponsor alert.
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Speaker 8 That's where Snickers comes in, man. That thing is packed.
Roasted peanuts, nugget, caramel, milk chocolate. It's like the MVP of candy bars.

Speaker 8 And when you bite into it, boom, it sorts you out, gets your head back in the game of life, satisfying your hunger. Remember this: Snickers handles your hunger so you can handle everything else.

Speaker 8 Snickers satisfies, man. That's a winning play.

Speaker 1 All right, Hank.

Speaker 7 Who's back? I have a few. The first one is Phil Collins.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 7 Oh, yeah. His song In the Air Tonight came out like God knows how many years ago.

Speaker 7 There was a viral video of two kids like reacting, listening to it from the first time that had like a shit tone of millions of views.

Speaker 7 And now In the Air Tonight is trending on the iTunes chart because it's like the top five.

Speaker 1 It's a jam. Yeah, it's a gym.
And when you watch people watching or listening to that song for the first time, you still get the goosebumps when the drums kick in and you see them freak out.

Speaker 1 It's like a joy that I have is watching somebody start to appreciate something that we already know about. Yes.
Yeah, because you're like, here comes, here it comes, here comes.

Speaker 1 Kids are going to be all right. Yeah.

Speaker 7 My other who's back a week is Derek Rose.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Okay.
I know he is. D.
Rose.

Speaker 7 Kanye West tweeted out today some shoes, a model of new shoes that are releasing called the D-Rose, the Yeezy D-Rose's. And they're something.

Speaker 1 They are something. I don't know if it's like a shot at D.

Speaker 7 Rose.

Speaker 1 I don't know what they are.

Speaker 1 No, I don't think so.

Speaker 7 Is it incomplete, so there's just a bunch of lines in it?

Speaker 1 I don't think so.

Speaker 1 I think you're thinking too much. I think he's

Speaker 1 made a great shoe for D. Rose.
Oh,

Speaker 1 it looks like a fish in a cartoon after they eat it. Yeah.
Pretty. You know what I'm saying? Like all the ribs sticking out of it.
Yes.

Speaker 1 It looks like a herringbone that's been sucked dry by a cartoon cat. Yeah, and then

Speaker 1 throws the bones out. Yeah.
I'm going to get them. How much do you think? Do you think Derrick Rose will? Probably.
How much do you think they're going to be? Probably like

Speaker 7 $300.

Speaker 1 It looks like if somebody took a

Speaker 1 price that I wouldn't pay for that. Turned a sperm into a Nike Swoosh logo.
Oh, but speaking of which, did you guys see Joelle and Biad's shoes?

Speaker 7 The Kyries?

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Listen. I wear Under Armour shirts and stuff, but those shoes, what is Under Armour doing with their shoes? Who's making Under Armour shoes?

Speaker 7 They're just Kyrie's.

Speaker 1 But they're also just the colorway.

Speaker 1 I don't know who's making them.

Speaker 1 It looks like somebody ironed an emoji onto the side of it. I think what Under Armour has been doing the last four years is they've just

Speaker 1 been trying to get the whole image of the Chef Curry, the nurse shoes out of everybody's head by designing uglier and uglier shoes. So we forget about that first one.

Speaker 1 I think the Under Armour shoe designer just goes to Walmart and sees all the, you know, the $10 shoes that you can buy at Walmart? Yeah. The Starberries are there.
Yeah, there's like a tag.

Speaker 1 And he's like, oh, cool. I'm just going to model all my shoes off of this.

Speaker 1 Yeah, those were something. Something.
Hank, is that it?

Speaker 7 I had one more esports are back. Okay.

Speaker 1 Oh, great. Why?

Speaker 7 Recurring guest, Nick Mercks. He won this $100,000 tournament.
It was, I mean, I know sports are back and the feeling of watching sports is back, but this tournament was basically the playoffs.

Speaker 7 It had that game seven playoff field, playoff feel. It was electric.
It was the first time that I was watching something where I was like, oh, this is really sports. Like, this is legitimately.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 This is sports. Well, at least one Blake won.

Speaker 1 The good thing, PFT, is that we had Nick Mercks on, and he explained how his dad at first was hesitant, but then became accepting. And we've just gone straight to accepting.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we need this new lifestyle. Yes, we love you, Hank.
We'll support you.

Speaker 1 Love is love.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 7 it's not. It's not.

Speaker 1 It's on your brand. No, it's just a who's back.
I just want to be happy. I just want you to be happy, Hank.
Whatever

Speaker 1 is life. Whatever you get that shirt.
You're happy in life. That's what makes me happy.
It doesn't mean I'm necessarily going to be there watching you. I don't want to watch you play.
I don't want to

Speaker 1 see that image in my head.

Speaker 1 I don't want to think about you just night and day just grabbing joysticks and stuff. I don't even play anymore.
Oh, you know? Oh, you retired? Yeah. You officially retired.

Speaker 7 Focused on stool streams. Play bar stool.

Speaker 1 Stool streams, COD, and teeny weeny Norman.

Speaker 7 Stool streams, PMT, teeny weeny Norman.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're up. No way we're on that list.
We're not on that list. No, yeah.

Speaker 1 We're like seven.

Speaker 7 No, the pie chart of my brain is like 50% PMT, and then the rest is split up.

Speaker 1 We're in there as long as it can fit into one of his other interests. Where it's like, can maybe part of my take do stool streams? Or maybe do you guys want to play with a play called Call of Duty?

Speaker 1 Yeah, that would be.

Speaker 7 That's a dream. That's a dream.
That's a pipe dream.

Speaker 1 Is that it, Hank? That's it. Okay.
My who's back of the week is having to figure out your fantasy draft position for fantasy football. Because that is happening.

Speaker 1 Fantasy football drafts are probably going down in the next like two to three weeks, I would imagine.

Speaker 1 So I'm starting to get those, starting to get people here and there being like, hey, select my fantasy draft order, that sort of thing. So do you just want to figure out a formula for it?

Speaker 1 Wait, I do that. Yeah, people have been been tweeting me for like the last time.
Oh, yeah, you're sending it to me. Like every

Speaker 1 all last year, I was actually replying to people. So you tell them to come to me, and then I just tell them to go to Jilly.
Okay, how about this? How about

Speaker 1 we could just come up with a formula for it? No, no, just tell just forward them to me and I'll forward them to Jilly. Okay, so it's tweeting.
It's as easy as possible.

Speaker 1 You can tag Big Cat in it and then he'll send it to Jilly Football. No, I did a bunch of those last year and it was a big mistake because then everyone asked for it.

Speaker 1 It's like, I can't do this forever. But I'll do a couple.
Well, then you can just say Madden codes. Yeah.
And then get get that off. I'll do a couple.

Speaker 1 I'll do a couple, but I'll send most to Jillie Football. She's still out there.

Speaker 1 She's still doing her thing. My other who's back of the week is Thailand.
Thyland's back. So

Speaker 1 Hank has accurately predicted pronunciations for Donald Trump on several occasions. So in the span of one week, we had Thailand, which Hank, you said back in, what, 2017? Who knows? 2018.

Speaker 1 And then you had the other one was Yosimite, which Hank put on his list of unacceptable millennial names.

Speaker 7 See, that wasn't even a missed. That was just, that was a name that I liked.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Right.
And so he said Yosemite. And then somebody tweeted at Big Cat, I hope he doesn't talk about women's health because he's going to go obgin on it.

Speaker 1 So I don't know. Maybe.
You could be president. You could be president, Hank.
Congratulations. You have a brain.
What if he says super relatives?

Speaker 1 That would be something. Talking about Ivanka and Jared.

Speaker 1 I might never say superlatives again.

Speaker 1 Super relatives.

Speaker 1 I think super relatives is an upgrade over superlatives. Yes.
Not super anything. Yeah.
We should actually do. Can we, I think you can petition Merriam-Webster for new words.

Speaker 1 Didn't they make it like, isn't slang becoming part of, so we should just make super relative a real word now? It's like, irregardless.

Speaker 1 Yeah, if you say it enough, it becomes part of

Speaker 1 super relative. Yeah, reoccurring.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. My who's back is

Speaker 1 the man, the myth, the legend, Mike Francesa, who is retired, I think. I don't even know if he's retired or not.
I think he just talks into a microphone for 20 minutes every day.

Speaker 1 Does he have an app? Like four people listen to it. And then

Speaker 1 what's his name?

Speaker 1 What's the guy's name? That clips all his stuff. Oh, Funhouse.
Funhouse. Clips it and puts it out, and then we all laugh, and it's great.
Funhouse should just pay Mike Francesa to do a show for his.

Speaker 1 I don't want Funhouse ever to go anywhere. I want him to keep finding ways to just clip Mike Francesa, like going to the refrigerator in the morning and farting.
So he gave another eulogy, right?

Speaker 1 He gave a great eulogy for Horace Clark, who was a member of the New York Yankees. He said, Horace Clark was a symbol of the Yankees' fall from grace post-1964.

Speaker 1 He was mediocre, just like the bombers, 65 through 74. Rest in peace.
Rest in peace at the end is so perfect.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I like how he didn't even include the fact that he passed away because most people that are reading this probably didn't know that this guy from the 1964 Yankees died. Yes.

Speaker 1 But then dropping the RIP at the end, it's like Deion dropping the hashtag truth at the end of his life. Right.
I never had any thoughts about Horace Clark, but now I know he was mediocre.

Speaker 1 Well, I know that he was symbolic, most of all, of the

Speaker 1 Yankees as they

Speaker 1 went down to mediocrity.

Speaker 1 All right, Billy, what's your who's back? My who's back of the week is fear.

Speaker 1 The murder hornets are actually a problem.

Speaker 1 You really have run out of things to talk about. No, they're actually in England now.
Okay. They're in England.
They just skipped the United States. They're in England.
They've spread.

Speaker 1 I'm actually scared.

Speaker 7 How many murders have they committed?

Speaker 1 They've committed zero murders. Oh, wow.
Shit. Sounded pretty scary.
They're actually murdering other pollinators in the area, such as honeybees. Flowers.
Flowers.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But I thought they were going to invade the United States.
Well, they're currently still invading us. But we have guns in the United States.
The murder hornets are like, fuck that.

Speaker 1 Let's go to England.

Speaker 1 Strength. And no college football.
So we got a lot of time on our church. Oh, you know what would be sick? What about demolition derbies?

Speaker 1 What if the South just started doing demolition derbies again on Saturdays? That'd be cool. I've been in a demolition derby.

Speaker 1 They're the best. I fucked up my ribs real bad.
Jeez.

Speaker 1 I got smashed right away. It was fun, though.
So Murder Hornet's back. Yeah.
Fear. Fear is back.
Jessica.

Speaker 1 Jessette. You had five days to come up with a topic we already talked about.

Speaker 1 You didn't talk about them going to England. And then two months ago.

Speaker 7 They didn't murder anyone, though.

Speaker 1 They're like, call me when they murder someone.

Speaker 7 Yeah, who's scared of someone that doesn't murder? Right.

Speaker 1 Not me. It'd be like, oh, check out this serial killer.
How many people has he killed? Zero. But he wants to kill

Speaker 1 it. He's thinking about it.

Speaker 1 He's too much of a bitch to actually do it. Yeah.
They're just hornets. They actually, that's the problem.
They're hornets. You don't get to be called murder hornets until you murder someone.

Speaker 1 Wait, how do hornets fly all the way up? Actually, wait, no, they have to murder people. Who? They've killed 50 people.
You just came up with that out of the top of your head.

Speaker 1 I think they kill like 10 a year in Japan.

Speaker 1 But those are just people who

Speaker 1 forgot their epidemics. They're allergic to the nasty people.
They're allergic to hornets.

Speaker 1 They get stung. Oh.
That's natural selection. That's like being like, oh, yeah, there's this new thing out there, murder peanut butter.

Speaker 1 It kills 20 people a year with peanut butter allergies. What about these murder cars? Yeah, murder jiffy.

Speaker 1 Don't go near it. What about murder electricity or murder water? Have you heard about murder water, Billy?

Speaker 1 Everyone who drinks it dies. Yeah, everyone who drinks water dies.
If you try to win a Wii game system from a radio show, it usually kills you if you drink too much of it.

Speaker 1 Okay. That's all I got.
Good one. All right, let's get to our interview.
Awesome interview coming up. Steve-O, we're so excited for this one.

Speaker 4 So...

Speaker 5 Y'all know that we're big fans of Cracker Barrel. And this holiday season, I will be sat at their table with a big plate of country-fried turkey.

Speaker 9 And Brandon, I'll be right there with you, and I'll check it off my Christmas list in the country store while I'm at it. It'll make a nice holiday tradition.

Speaker 5 Oh, that's so cute of you.

Speaker 9 Enjoy all the more holiday traditions only at Cracker Barrel.

Speaker 1 Okay, here he is, Steve-O.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest.

Speaker 1 You know him very well. It is Steve-O

Speaker 1 of jackass fame and many other things. He's got a new comedy special out on his website called gnarlysteve-o.com.
Go to it right now.

Speaker 1 It's comedy, stand-up comedy. It's clips.
It's special appearances from some of the jackass crew. He's also got a podcast called Steve-O's Wild Ride.
Steve-O,

Speaker 1 thank you very much for joining us. We are big, big fans.

Speaker 1 I guess this is kind of a heavy first question, but I actually am very curious what your response would be.

Speaker 1 Huge fans of Jackass. We're in the perfect age demographic.
We're both 35 years old, so it was like hit at the right spot.

Speaker 1 To you, what is the genius of Jackass? Because I truly do think it's a genius. It was a genius thing, and you guys are all comedic geniuses.
And people maybe poo-poo it and say, no, they're idiots.

Speaker 1 No, they're comedic geniuses. So why,

Speaker 1 like, what's the genius behind it?

Speaker 10 All right. Well, thank you.
Number one,

Speaker 10 I think that's very kind. I appreciate the kind words.

Speaker 10 Number two, I don't think it's really a heavy question.

Speaker 10 I think it's really fascinating

Speaker 10 because there was some kind of a cultural significance to jackass. I think that's safe to say.
And what made it popular, I would believe, is

Speaker 10 the misfortune element. I think that there's something compelling about slowing down to Google at an accident.
I think that seeing something

Speaker 10 maybe sort of terrible happen is inherently compelling. I think that

Speaker 10 there's something endearing about Jackass where

Speaker 10 we were able to, we've always been able to not look cool, to not take ourselves seriously. And I think there's something endearing about that.

Speaker 10 And there's also finally something I believe actually pretty wholesome about the fact that there's nothing mean spirited in what we're doing.

Speaker 1 You know, yeah, we're reckless, we do terrible things to ourselves and to each other but we're never cruel to uh to third parties or to anybody else so you know it's weird to say jackass is wholesome but i think it does apply and uh has that verb rambling a lot you know it makes a lot of sense i think you hit the nail on the head i've always said that with jackass it's one of those things that you could take it's like a great unifier you could take uh the first jackass movie for example play it for some teenagers in the suburbs you could play it for a tribe that hasn't even been discovered yet in South America.

Speaker 1 You could play it for probably even ISIS overseas, and everybody that would watch it would laugh. It is like the perfect comedy that I think is really universal.
So, I guess my question for you is:

Speaker 1 who is like the weirdest person or the most unexpected person or group of people that have told you, like, I love jackass?

Speaker 1 Ah,

Speaker 10 I mean, it wasn't somebody who said that they loved it, but I remember being really caught off guard one night at a restaurant in New York City.

Speaker 10 And somebody said sheepishly, sort of, hey, excuse me, I'm really sorry to bother you, but would you mind saying hi to maybe my niece or my granddaughter or something like that?

Speaker 10 And it was Robin Williams. Oh.
And I remember thinking, yeah, I remember thinking, wow, dude, Robin Williams. And he was just so polite and really a little bit timid, even.

Speaker 10 But as far as people people who were like unlikely fans, I mean, I just am always shocked.

Speaker 10 I feel like the guy from Dazed and Confused, Matthew McConaughey's character, where he says, I get older and they just stay the same age because it's shocking how like all these years later, literally, we're decades into it now, and like little kids that are interested.

Speaker 10 like how is a little kid like a fan of jackass you know like

Speaker 10 uh and then even like on the older side, like when I'm doing my tour, yeah, I look in the audience and to see like legitimately old people, it always makes me really happy.

Speaker 1 What about, yeah, what about your parents? Did like the cast members, did their parents ever like say, hey, we're fans of this?

Speaker 1 Because I got to imagine that like looking at your child doing that, it might hit a little bit differently as opposed to watching somebody else's kid do it.

Speaker 10 I don't know that anybody in my family has ever been particularly a fan of it. I think that

Speaker 10 they recognize the appeal, but it's just not their kind of thing.

Speaker 10 I know Bam's

Speaker 10 family, his parents have been really like intimately involved in it.

Speaker 10 Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 10 I don't know that, I think that the closer you get to it, the less of a fan you are, you know, particularly if you're really like, if it's, if it's a family member, someone you love, like doing this stuff, I think you would have a mixed, mixed bag of feelings about it.

Speaker 1 So I liked your answer about why Jackass is genius, but I feel like you might have missed something that at least I, you know, when I watch it, I see.

Speaker 1 And you could tell me I'm way wrong, but I think it is also just friendship. Like you guys

Speaker 1 always came across as, yeah, you'd fight or there'd be fucked up things you'd do to each other, but you'd always make each other laugh and when you make each other laugh it like kind of fills the room of like oh my god they're having a great time and you could tell me I'm way off but did it did it feel like that that's absolutely a component to it

Speaker 10 and I think that I would lump that in with what makes it you know a little bit of an unlikely wholesome thing that we're not mean spirited, that we evidently really care about each other.

Speaker 10 And we've got this great chemistry where,

Speaker 10 you know, where there's there's just some kind of like there's something magical about it right right and

Speaker 1 yeah go ahead sorry sorry no that's my bad that's my bad

Speaker 1 i'm the worst when it comes to that i'm the worst well i was gonna give an example it's like so you know the the when you boil down like you know guys being friends and male friendship and it's like yeah you care about each other but also

Speaker 1 if one of your friends you know bam is definitely afraid of snakes you're gonna fuck him up and lock him into a horse trailer and throw fake snakes at him.

Speaker 1 Like, that's that's kind of where it always felt so funny and so relatable.

Speaker 1 No, you know, I'm never throwing snakes at my friends, but that feeling of like, we can be friends, but I also can bust your balls and like go at you every now and then.

Speaker 1 At the end of the day, we're still friends.

Speaker 10 For sure. Yeah, it's

Speaker 10 busting balls is really what it is. You know, there's a certain type of,

Speaker 1 I suppose, you know, razzing whatever that you would only do to someone you really care about so off that though what was there ever a time where one of the guys took it too far or it was like true anger that lasted a few days and it was like oh like we went too far on this one

Speaker 10 uh yeah um

Speaker 10 where uh bam broke my nose Okay. That was, that, that fucking drove me nuts.
I was so pissed. And the footage never even, uh

Speaker 10 was even included in the movie thank god i uh thank god i put it in my gnarly comedy special you know uh

Speaker 10 this this

Speaker 10 terrible this terrible uh yeah filthy thing that i've put together um yeah it was bam doing his um throw water in your face and then super slow-mo sucker punch you and he just

Speaker 10 he just it was called the rocky and they would play it to like the rocky theme music um

Speaker 10 and uh

Speaker 10 he just

Speaker 10 there's supposed to be no drinking on the set you know this was like out of um out of some like respect for my sobriety when we filmed jackass 3d i was newly sober and uh they had a strict no drinking policy but bams went and got completely hammered on the set

Speaker 10 and and and came up and threw the water in my face and uh sucker punched me, but he just completely fucking broke my nose.

Speaker 10 The worst thing about it was it wasn't even in front of the fucking slow motion camera.

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 10 drunk ass shithead fucking broke my nose in the wrong place.

Speaker 10 I'm all about getting footage.

Speaker 1 But,

Speaker 10 but yeah, so, you know.

Speaker 10 I mean, it was captured on film, but it wasn't captured on that fantastic Phantom slow motion camera. So

Speaker 10 as part of this gnarly special, I went and just filmed all kinds of crazy new stuff to load into it so that it would play largely like a jackass movie.

Speaker 10 I exacted my revenge on Bam by throwing the water in his face. And, God, I was mortified to learn what a pussy I am when it comes to punching people.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's awesome. That is awful.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So with your new stand-up thing, you just mentioned, what are you 10 years sober right now?

Speaker 1 12. Yeah,

Speaker 1 congrats.

Speaker 10 Past 12 years in March. Thank you.

Speaker 1 That's awesome.

Speaker 1 So I have to imagine that that was a pretty big transition for you going from filming Jackass the way that used to be filmed, where I'm sure there were, you know, drugs and alcohol on set everywhere, to now there's been, you know, absolutely none for you for the last like 12 years.

Speaker 1 What was the like most difficult part of making that adjustment? And do you think that you've learned anything over the last 12 years that's actually improved your comedy since then?

Speaker 10 Oh, man.

Speaker 10 The

Speaker 10 transition, like, I mean, when you get sober, it's like, you know, you only change one thing, like, and that's everything. It was just like, it's really, you know, I was

Speaker 10 in

Speaker 10 psychiatric wards and rehab centers for the first six months. And then I was in a halfway house, you know, until I had two years of sobriety.

Speaker 10 So I was just straight institutionalized for two entire years.

Speaker 10 And I was still in the halfway house when we were filming Jackass 3D. I had a roommate, you know, I shared my room with.
We had to do our chores, scrubbing the toilets and this and that.

Speaker 10 And I would have to get a special pass filled out. Like, hey, I'm going to be late for Kirby tonight because I have to go get catapulted into the sky and a porta potty full of shit.

Speaker 10 You know, that was like actual like conversations that went on with my house manager in my halfway house. And uh, so yeah, I mean, it was a big transition.

Speaker 10 And ultimately, like, when it comes to approaching like gnarly, you know, dangerous, painful stunts,

Speaker 10 I just learned that

Speaker 10 you take away the drugs and the alcohol from the wasted attention whore,

Speaker 10 and then you get a sober attention whore. You know, it's like, really, that's all there is to it.
I never got, I never took painkillers for pain.

Speaker 10 And I never

Speaker 10 did stunts because I was loaded. I just, I'm just an attention horse.
So, you know,

Speaker 10 it didn't really change my approach to what I do for entertainment.

Speaker 1 Interesting. I was reading a little bit about your childhood, and whatever's on Wikipedia is what I absorb.
So there's probably a bunch of stuff that's incorrect on there.

Speaker 1 But it did say that you moved around a lot as a kid, like a ton. Yeah.
Not just like different cities, but like different states, different countries.

Speaker 1 It was like almost once a year, once every other year is that how you kind of developed a sense of humor to to fit in with new places that you were just moving into for the first time i would like to say that that's true um

Speaker 10 i uh

Speaker 10 i was born in england spoke my first words in brazil uh speaking portuguese in brazil um

Speaker 10 i i wanted i i spoke fluent spanish in nursery school in Venezuela. Kindergarten I did in Connecticut.
And then I moved back to England and to Canada. I grew up in five different countries.

Speaker 10 And I was always, we're going to move again.

Speaker 10 And

Speaker 10 I remember always, every time I found out we were going to move, I was just stoked because I was such like a fucking bouncing off the walls, just like super annoying, like uncomfortable, like

Speaker 10 that like,

Speaker 10 I didn't win anybody over, you know, and I was always like stoked to move again because I thought, cool, I'm going to get a

Speaker 10 new shot, you know, a clean slate. And this time I'm going to be cool.
And then every time, you know,

Speaker 10 there I was. And I did it all over again.
So I don't know that I learned anything from moving around.

Speaker 10 Ultimately, later in life, you know, that whole nature about me would end up kind of working out. but it did not work for me when I was a child.

Speaker 10 It didn't at all.

Speaker 1 When you were a a kid, did you have, did you always know you had like a high uh threshold for pain and doing dumb stuff? Like, were you just not

Speaker 1 did you know from like a very early age you just had no fear? Because a lot of the stuff you've done, it's like, how the fuck is he doing this?

Speaker 10 Yeah, I don't even know that I have that much of a high threshold for pain. I mean, I suppose, like,

Speaker 1 you do, you do.

Speaker 10 I've developed, you know, I've developed an ability to just take it on, you

Speaker 10 but I feel everything.

Speaker 10 And I can't even say that I'm fearless. I'm just that much of an attention board.

Speaker 10 It's just that simple.

Speaker 10 And when I think of the pain involved in the stuff that I do,

Speaker 10 the pain I really couldn't withstand would be like the nine-to-five job, you know?

Speaker 1 That's

Speaker 1 going to

Speaker 10 going to work to do something that I'm not psyched about. Like that, that's some pain that i can't with

Speaker 1 yeah so who who in the crew i think i know the answer but who in the crew does have the highest threshold for pain

Speaker 10 i i saw knoxville do something that would have been that really changed my my view on i was like wow

Speaker 10 like i i

Speaker 10 i recently saw knoxville do something that i indicated to me that he actually

Speaker 10 registers pain differently than uh some of the other ones of us so i'm gonna go with Knoxville based on that.

Speaker 1 He does something that is so funny and

Speaker 1 you never see it anywhere, but when he's doing something super painful, he starts to laugh beforehand. And you're like, what the fuck is wrong with this guy?

Speaker 1 Like he's about to get smoked in the nuts and or like tackled 100 miles an hour by three football players and he's giggling to himself beforehand.

Speaker 10 Right. Yeah.

Speaker 10 I mean, he's he's the gnarliest, you know, like I've heard people say that I take on the, you know, the worst of the challenges and this and that. But like, I don't see it that way.

Speaker 10 I think that Knoxville and the stunts that he does,

Speaker 10 I mean, are just so messed up, particularly because a lot of us grew up on skateboards. You know, like we actually like spent our,

Speaker 10 you know, formative years like learning how to fall.

Speaker 10 And Knoxville doesn't have any of that benefit of uh, you know, experience with falling and uh coordination, you know, working on it. Like when Noxel gets on a skateboard, like boom, he uh, I mean,

Speaker 10 he really doesn't know how to fall. So, when he does, it's uh catastrophic.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think one of the things I like the most about when I think you in particular are awesome about this, but when you're about to do something that you should be afraid of, we can see your fear.

Speaker 1 You're not trying to play it cool and be like, I'm brave, I can do this. You step up to the sun, you're like, oh, fuck, this is stupid, dude, dude.
What am I doing? What am I doing?

Speaker 1 But you do it anyways. Yeah, you're still there.
Yeah, you're still there. And you still end up like locking that part out.
And you're like, I have this fear, but that's fine.

Speaker 1 I'm going to do it even though I'm afraid.

Speaker 1 Has there ever been like a stunt that you approach that, you know, you're all set up, ready to film, and you're like, this is fucked, this is fucked, and you back out of at the last second?

Speaker 10 There was one in when we were in India, I was supposed to ride a unicycle along like a balance beam style plank. And it was over a bed of hot coals.
So like I would, and

Speaker 10 that broke my heart, man, because there was like in setting up this whole bed of hot coals, there was like a lot of like work that went into it, you know, and building the beam and the whole setup of this thing.

Speaker 10 And then when I got on the beam, there was just some kind of mental block where I couldn't get both feet on the pedals. I just like completely shut down and totally wimped out.

Speaker 10 And it wasn't because I was afraid of landing on the hot coals. It was just I was afraid to commit to that unicycle on the beam.

Speaker 10 So yeah, that one

Speaker 10 didn't happen. It absolutely crushed my spirit that I wimped out.
And then,

Speaker 10 you know, years later, we did the fire gauntlet as a redemption for that.

Speaker 10 And

Speaker 10 it would have been way cooler in India with actual hot coals on the unicycle than the way the fire gauntlet played out.

Speaker 1 How did you guys decide who did what stunt? And was it just whoever thought of it, or was it like, no, this person would be perfect for this? And is there like a pecking order or competition for it?

Speaker 10 Well, it depends. Like, first and foremost, I would say that there is a respect for intellectual property.
Like, whoever comes up with an idea is going to essentially own that idea. You know,

Speaker 10 so if you see somebody doing an if you see somebody doing a stunt, you can presume that either they came up with the idea or they were granted permission to carry out the idea by the person who did come up with it.

Speaker 10 And so you've got dibs on anything if it's your idea. Now, of course, a lot of the time it makes sense, oh, this would be great for this guy to do it.
So there are ideas getting...

Speaker 10 you know, like written for certain people. And then there's a whole other category of idea, which which is like the undeniably funny thing that absolutely nobody wants to do.

Speaker 10 And for those ideas, you know, everybody gets approached. And then, you know, assuming everybody turns it down, it trickles down to danger error.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes. And he always like loses a tooth or something.

Speaker 10 Pretty much, yeah.

Speaker 10 Yeah, pretty, pretty much. That's sort of like how

Speaker 1 that goes.

Speaker 1 He's underrated, yeah, because just seeing his face, whenever he's just like, fuck, dude, I don't want to do this. It's just like, that's so funny to know that that's exactly how it happened.

Speaker 1 Like, it actually was passed by everyone. So when he's saying, fuck, why am I doing this? I don't want to do this.
It's as genuine as it could be.

Speaker 10 Y'all, I'll give you guys a crazy jackass secret, which makes no sense because I'm actually going to make a video about it. But

Speaker 10 the

Speaker 10 jet, the Lambo toothpull, which was part of

Speaker 10 Jackass 3D.

Speaker 10 It made no fucking sense to pull that tooth from Danger Aaron. It was like for Danger Aaron, it was a totally healthy tooth.
It made no fucking sense to do that.

Speaker 10 Plus, when they pulled out that tooth on Danger Aaron, because it was a healthy tooth, sure, they loosened it up a bit, but it fractured his fucking skull where, you know, like the little fucking,

Speaker 10 you know, whatever the tooth fits in, like that shit broke like up to to his nose and um the thing about it was

Speaker 10 that it was a redo because

Speaker 10 back uh on the the the previous movie don vito bam's uncle don vito had his teeth falling out like crazy i think he was down to like one tooth left and uh that one remaining tooth was begging to fall out.

Speaker 10 Like, and what Bam said to Don Vito was let me tie that one

Speaker 10 tooth to my lamborghini and film it for the movie and if you let me do that then i'll i'll pay for you to get like proper dentures which don vito leapt at the opportunity and they did it and it was classic but then don vito got tangled up in some

Speaker 10 uh

Speaker 10 like lewd shit with uh with minors you know like he was at uh became a sex offender yeah

Speaker 10 and and when don vito became a sex offender they scrubbed him out of uh out of jackass number two so they they had to scrap that bit but the thing was that the director was so in love with it that uh he couldn't let it go and so it was it was completely appropriate to do that with don vito but the director it it broke jeff tremaine's heart to to see that go it was so important to him to to fucking let that finally see the light of day that idea That was one where, hey, you want to do this?

Speaker 10 Nope, nope, nope. So it trickled down to Danger Aaron, and they did it with a healthy dude.

Speaker 1 Jesus.

Speaker 1 So Jeff seems like he gets away pretty easy with a lot of the stuff because he's around. He gets to witness a lot of it.

Speaker 1 And you guys obviously prank him a little bit behind the scenes, but he never actually has to do any of the things that he sets up and directs.

Speaker 1 Have you guys thought about like including him and being like, hey, if you're going to make so much money filming us, maybe we get you a couple times.

Speaker 10 Yeah, I mean, there's nobody's safe on the set, man. Like, I mean, nobody's ever going to be safe on the set.
But as far as like really elaborate, you know, big things at Jeff's expense,

Speaker 1 I don't know,

Speaker 10 I don't know, man. I think

Speaker 10 Jeff is not necessarily quite the type of attention whore.

Speaker 10 I mean, that's all it is, just a big battle for screen time, you know. And so part of me thinks, like, why would we do that to Jeff? You know, like, we want the screen time for ourselves.

Speaker 10 I mean, I don't know.

Speaker 1 Um,

Speaker 1 I want to know how

Speaker 1 one stunt, one of my favorite, it's very underrated, not like one of your most remarkable stunts, but every time I watch it, I die, die laughing. Is wasabi snooters? Nope, nope.

Speaker 1 You want to guess?

Speaker 1 It's not a pain stunt.

Speaker 10 Ah, it's not a pain stunt. I don't know the goldfish.

Speaker 1 No, it's it's fart mask when Preston when Preston pooped into the fucking beer bong

Speaker 1 because he was trying to fart so bad and you started puking in the in the mask

Speaker 10 hey you guys are really you guys are really committing to this one man we are so alienating anybody I don't care dude

Speaker 1 I don't care I I was looking through

Speaker 1 I I was looking through my tweets before this and I found a tweet from like from three years ago and I remember I was high with all my friends and it just says I watched Jackass 2 last night and I missed those guys so much so like I'll keep doing that every year where I'll just watch Jackass and be like fuck I love these guys well dude I'm so thrilled that I that I got the fucking whole jackass gang together for this uh gnarly thing I don't know if you guys saw like even the trailer but dude the whole fucking gang knoxville bam pontius Dave England, Danger Aaron, everybody.

Speaker 10 And they duct tape me to the side of a fucking billboard truck and

Speaker 10 then drive the fucking thing down the highway with me duct taped to the side of it. And that's that's how I get to the theater in the opening sequence of this multimedia comedy special.

Speaker 10 And so yeah, it's pretty, it's a point of pride and

Speaker 10 honor for me that I got the whole fucking gang together. I'm so grateful to those guys.
But yeah, there is new shit from us jackass dudes, and it is at stevo.com.

Speaker 10 So, um, but with that said, yeah, the fart mask thing, yeah, uh, for anybody who's not familiar, the idea was to uh

Speaker 10 like set up like uh

Speaker 10 what was connected to Preston's like a 350-pound fat guy, and it was like a tube connected to his asshole.

Speaker 1 It was a beer bong bong. It was a beer bong that was basically going to one of those old-timey scuba diving masks that's like you can see all the way around.
That's like glass.

Speaker 10 Right. And,

Speaker 10 you know, it was always like

Speaker 10 it was always like a payoff for a bit if it made me barf.

Speaker 1 Yes. And

Speaker 10 the thing is that like,

Speaker 10 there's no way that I actually could have smelled a fart.

Speaker 10 that came through that whole tube, but just the setup and preparing to do it, like the idea of it, you know, I have this like super like powerful imagination which is why i think uh over the years i was always such uh an embarrassing premature ejaculation guy you know like totally premature ejaculating my whole life because like the idea of something being fucking sexy would just make me come

Speaker 10 much the way the idea of the idea of something being gross would just make me barb.

Speaker 1 You know, I really, I think there's a link between those two.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 10 And so just the, yeah, I mean, I've got this big mask on, and Kristen basically just puts the beer bong up to his butt. And I'm like, the idea of it, and I'm already barping.

Speaker 1 He did end up taking a shit into that beer bong, too. Because he tried to part so hard that he shit into the beer bong.

Speaker 1 I sound so stupid. It's so funny, funny.

Speaker 11 Dude, you know what? Just what's just I remembered is that we had to film that twice. We had to film that twice because

Speaker 11 the first time they set it all up, I fucking barfed before he got his pants down.

Speaker 1 Like, they were like fucking scared like that.

Speaker 11 They're like, fuck, they were so mad, like, fucking Steve-oh, dude, fucking, you know, I've ruined the, I've ruined it because we didn't even get to start the bit and I already fucking barked.

Speaker 11 So, so we did it. So we did it like another day.

Speaker 1 We redid it. Oh, that's so good.
Oh, man.

Speaker 1 I always used to love

Speaker 1 when Manny would come out, when Manny would be included in his skill.

Speaker 10 Manny just recovered from COVID.

Speaker 1 Oh, shit. I'm glad he's all right.

Speaker 10 He got it bad, man.

Speaker 10 He was talking about like, he was so dehydrated, like it brought on kidney stones, I think he said. And like, dude, he was just not okay.
But thankfully, he's, you know, he's bounced back.

Speaker 1 That's awesome. So, so Manny, if you don't know, was their wildlife guy.
He was like your nature expert. He wore the shark tooth necklace.
Did he actually, is he actually a wildlife expert? Or is he

Speaker 1 because he would come on set and he'd be like, Yeah, just go swim in the bottom of this lake and grab an alligator by its face, and that's fine.

Speaker 1 And I never knew if he actually had a background with animals or if he was just there to like serve as the nature guide.

Speaker 10 He's he's like

Speaker 10 a real life Tarzan, you know. Like, I mean, that's just like, like, Tarzan never had a degree, you know, but he was Tarzan.
Like, like Manny really is Tarzan, I would say.

Speaker 10 I mean, I don't think Manny ever went to school at all.

Speaker 10 Like, when the story was that I think in Cuba, I believe Manny was from Cuba, and he'd show up at school and just ditch. And he would like go out into the

Speaker 10 swamp to survive, you know, for like days on end. Like when he was a school kid.

Speaker 10 And that was just his deal, like growing up, like throughout life, like uh just fascinated with uh you know apex predators and wanting to like get intimate with them that's awesome yeah he's oh man so are you yeah i always said too i always said that uh you know if manny says some like uh like don't do something that means fucking don't do it yeah you know but if manny says something's totally okay

Speaker 10 that does not mean it's okay either

Speaker 10 it's a good way to put it like when i did the alligator tightrope and i just included this in a in a youtube video i was telling the story about this in the in a recent video like manny's advice for me going into the alligator tightrope he says if an alligator gets a hold of stevo stevo will relax And hopefully the alligator will release him.

Speaker 1 I was like, dude, you don't, you didn't go to school. This is the fucking best.

Speaker 11 Like the best fucking thing that's ever been said on Jackass.

Speaker 11 Steel will relax. He will let the alligator take him.

Speaker 10 And hopefully the alligator will release him.

Speaker 1 I love it.

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Speaker 1 And now, more Steve-O.

Speaker 1 When you're trying to translate all this stuff that, you know, in Jackass, you did most of it outdoors, or at least in a place that had, you know, like a lot of room around you to work with and a lot of interactive stuff going on.

Speaker 1 You're trying to do it on stage.

Speaker 1 How do you have to kind of like narrow that, the idea of the joke down enough for it to be funny for somebody that's sitting like in the back row row as opposed to somebody that's in the front row?

Speaker 10 I mean, I don't know.

Speaker 10 There's plenty of stuff that we did on Jackass that didn't require, you know, a great deal of space.

Speaker 10 And

Speaker 10 when it comes to like really doing like heavy stunts on stage,

Speaker 10 That's not like what I do routinely on my whole tour, you know, like when it's time to do, like I had all the jackass guys come to the taping of the gnarly special.

Speaker 10 So they would come out on stage and do some like fucking massive stunt, which was like blocked out and shot for the special.

Speaker 10 I think that we everybody's able to see who is in attendance. But yeah, like for the for that purpose, we were filming like

Speaker 10 a show, essentially.

Speaker 10 But

Speaker 10 yeah, dude, like when Jackass first came out,

Speaker 10 there was

Speaker 10 like the director, Jeff Tremaine, like he, when he let me know that the pilot got ordered to series, he said, yo, it's not a pilot anymore. We got like eight episodes.

Speaker 10 And so I need you to take all of your video and send it in so that we can license it and put it right onto the show. And I sent in all the shit that I had.

Speaker 10 And then I followed up and I was like, yo, what are you using? And he was like, man, like not one fucking clip you sent in is allowed on TV.

Speaker 10 He was like, because MTV was really touchy about fire. And my rule was always like, no matter what you do, it's cooler if you're on fire.

Speaker 1 So like,

Speaker 10 and I was always on fire.

Speaker 1 So that ruled out a ton of footage. They had another rule.

Speaker 10 They had another rule that was,

Speaker 10 that was that

Speaker 10 if you're going to jump off something, you know, it can't be above a certain height. And I mean, I was like constantly jumping off shit that was way too tall while I was on fire.

Speaker 1 I was like, I was like bathing.

Speaker 10 And then speaking of fire, like the grand finale of the gnarly special, I got burned so fucking bad. I had to have skin grafts on 15% of my body.
Oh, shit. Like it's the worst fucking injury.

Speaker 10 the most painful situation I have ever been in my life. And thank God it's finally out.

Speaker 10 So yeah, again, check that out. But so when Jeff Tremaine told me that nothing was allowed on TV, I was legitimately worried, like, what kind of fucking pussy ass show is this?

Speaker 10 You know, I got actually concerned that it was going to be like,

Speaker 10 you know, so watered down that it wasn't like, that it wasn't intense. And of course, we figured our way around all their rules.

Speaker 10 But out of the gate, I knew that I had like a wealth of footage that i could distribute on my own at that time every night on tv it was like girls gone wild like caught on tape there were these like you know two hot for tv videos and i was like man i'm gonna make my own two hot for tv videos which i totally did and i also like put together a whole tour where essentially i would come out on stage get all fucked up and uh and walk everybody through what you're not allowed to do on tv you know that was the whole show and whenever i promoted it i i promised i said i will be drunk and on drugs or your money back

Speaker 10 which i was so proud of and uh so yeah that was like kind of the deal and man i like

Speaker 10 it was those days were something else man those days were something else but as far as to answer the question what's it like doing the shit on the stage nothing stopped us man yeah that stage was covered in blood, barf, piss, fucking every night.

Speaker 10 Half the time we would be doing the show at universities where we would be like wiping out their student council allotted entertainment funds by

Speaker 10 pissing and bleeding and barfing like all over the stage and then just fucking trying to hump as many of their students as possible.

Speaker 1 This has been awesome, Steve. I had one last question.
It's the Me Undee soft question of the day you're podcast so you probably you know about this stuff

Speaker 10 I haven't I haven't done me undies yet I don't know why but uh but yeah dude I love it and I love being on the podcast bandwagon I also saw you guys on TMZ and

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 10 fucking congrats man

Speaker 1 it's crazy I don't even really remember that they cut they cut out too much of us because we started giving Harvey shit.

Speaker 1 We started quoting how much money he was worth and being like hey harvey do you want to we're like dude it looks like you're worth 20 million dollars on google here like how much are you gonna give for the kids yeah i don't know if that's it or not but he got that sounds a lot that sounds to me a little light a little light but he was like what the hell that sounds i think that sounds considerably light for harvey levin yeah and then we just started shaming him we're like all right so we're gonna put you down for zero dollars for the kids so like do you want to tell the kids you want to go to the hospital and tell the kids that you're not going to be giving money they cut back but to his credit he donated yes he did he didn't tell anybody That's why he donated.

Speaker 1 Yes. But yeah, I mean,

Speaker 10 trust me. Trust me, you don't want to like feud with TMZ.

Speaker 1 No, no, no. He was very nice.
He hit us up right after, and he was like, tell me where to donate. I will donate.
So shout out to him. I love it.
But

Speaker 1 I love it.

Speaker 10 And then the last time I saw him,

Speaker 10 I was like,

Speaker 10 he complimented me on, he said, man, you look great, dude. So much better than Bam.

Speaker 10 So I was like, something like that.

Speaker 1 But yeah,

Speaker 10 I've always had a pretty good relationship with TMZ.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 10 And that's where I get my news. You know,

Speaker 10 fuck anybody. Fuck anybody who says that TMZ is

Speaker 10 like tabloid trash because, dude, their journalistic integrity is so solid that

Speaker 10 they don't get anything wrong.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, it's true. They don't.
And Harvey did, he donated after the fact and didn't make a big deal of it, which I appreciate

Speaker 1 even more. So, all right.
The meundies meundis question. Go to meundies.com slash PMT to get 15% off your first purchase.
Meundis.com slash PMT to get 15% off your first purchase.

Speaker 1 Jackass 4, is it happening? Is it fully happening? Have you guys already filmed a bunch of stuff?

Speaker 10 We were one week into production

Speaker 10 when shit got shut down. But that's actually a good thing because that week was so fucking explosive that

Speaker 10 we went from like the

Speaker 10 like, should these guys really be doing this you know is this kind of a fucking piss take at this point they're like some of them are 50 now right like and in that one week we proved ourselves like

Speaker 10 i mean it was like it was the fucking heaviest week and we got like just this footage where like now paramount sees it like they're behind it like we're like they're you know when the world starts spinning again we're as big of a priority for paramount pictures as uh as there is, from what I gather.

Speaker 1 Hell yeah.

Speaker 1 The world will be laughter at that point. Yeah, sure.
Listen, that, okay, that puts a smile on my face, knowing that it's still going to happen. It's going to happen even better.
But it's.

Speaker 10 She got this fucking pisser. She got this fucking kicking the balls.
During that one week, while on the set, my agent calls me up and he's like, hey, look, man, I just kind of let you know that.

Speaker 10 you're selling out like your uh all of your comedy club gigs uh you know so far in advance now it no longer makes sense to me to entertain any comedy club offers so congratulations you have officially graduated to theaters whoa there you go and i'm like i'm like rad fucking an international theater tour like not

Speaker 1 and then everything stopped yeah everything

Speaker 10 everything stopped but then i started the podcast and uh i set up distribution for this gnarly comedy special dude. And man, I'll give you a spoiler from my comedy special, the gnarly thing.

Speaker 10 Like, it's not just stand-up comedy. Like, I did all kinds of new stunts.
And one of them, not only did I swallow an entire load of Chris Pontius's cum,

Speaker 1 but I did it.

Speaker 10 I did it right in front of my father.

Speaker 1 Wait,

Speaker 1 you just like took a shot to the mouth or what?

Speaker 10 I mean, he he he blasted a huge load into a condom in the bathroom he jagged up and then he tied it in a knot and brought it out and handed it to me in front of my dad my dad this is

Speaker 10 yeah this is my dad where go ahead sorry sorry go ahead say well my my dad my dad's notoriously not cool with the like the the gay humor

Speaker 10 I remember my dad, my dad was like, why is this the right thing to do?

Speaker 10 And I said, oh, I said, I said, dad, I'm not doing this to hurt you. He says, you're not going to hurt me.
You're going to piss me off.

Speaker 1 It's funny that we talked about like what your parents' reaction to all this stuff and everyone's parents' reaction and showing how different of a world it is that you ate Chris Pontius's cum in front of your dad.

Speaker 1 And it was like, yeah, that's what I did.

Speaker 1 And when you say that line, I think all of us in this room are thinking our dads listened to this show and they're going to be like, what the fuck was that interview? Yeah.

Speaker 1 And we didn't need any company. We didn't need any calm.

Speaker 1 Right, right.

Speaker 10 I mean, that's where the bar is at, the way I look at it. And I'm just really pleased to have like officially fucking raised it.
And thank you guys for letting me,

Speaker 10 you know, get so many shameless plugs in there and let everybody know that it's live right now on steemo.com. And I invested more fucking money.
I spent like 300 grand making that thing.

Speaker 1 Damn. And

Speaker 1 go watch it.

Speaker 10 I need people to go order order it.

Speaker 10 You know,

Speaker 1 you ain't come for it. You ain't come for it.
That should be just like. I did.
That should be the line when you go to stevo.com. Like, I ain't come to make this fucking watching.
I ain't come for it.

Speaker 10 And I went on a burn unit tour.

Speaker 1 Yeah. We do owe it to you to watch this thing.
The amount of punishment that your scrotum has taken over the year alone, I think, should be worth everybody going out there to watch it.

Speaker 1 Do you think, can you have kids? Yeah.

Speaker 10 I got a vasectomy, dude. Like,

Speaker 10 that was one of my ideas i was sitting on for the longest time the vasectomy olympics

Speaker 10 is that wait that's separate from when you stapled your nutsack to your leg yeah right uh-huh yeah that's a new one that's in that's in the can dude i'll give you guys another one i'm just giving up giving up like uh check out all the needle marks in my back

Speaker 1 uh okay

Speaker 10 am i blocking yeah i'm blocking it okay i don't know if you can see like

Speaker 1 i had uh yeah

Speaker 10 I had a spinal cavity injection fucking

Speaker 10 to uh, it's a drug called chloroprocane. And totally illegally, this guy fucking and put the needle into my, like four inches into my spinal cavity.
Like, it was so deep in there.

Speaker 10 He he plunges it full of this drug, which renders my

Speaker 10 whole lower half completely paralyzed. That's what it was supposed to do.
So he plunges it in. He's like, all right, go.
And I just take off sprinting, right?

Speaker 10 And I'm like fucking sprinting laps back and forth until my fucking, I could feel it.

Speaker 11 And I'm just like stomping and staggering, trying not to go down. And then I fucking collapse.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 11 not only was my lower half paralyzed, but I couldn't feel anything up to my neck.

Speaker 10 And I was like, yo, dude, I can't fucking breathe. I was like, I'm having a lot of trouble breathing.
I thought I was fucking dying so bad.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 10 then my and then my crew starts fucking lighting up my legs with paintballs and stun guns and lighters.

Speaker 1 It's fun you're throwing fire. You said that yourself.

Speaker 11 Right. And I mean, dude, fucking,

Speaker 11 it was like, I mean, paintballs have been kind of played out over the years, but it's never been like so

Speaker 11 weirdly fascinating where there's just no reaction. The biggest reaction there was, Adam, it was like just shooting a dead body.
It literally looked like it was just shooting a dead body.

Speaker 11 And the only time I really, really reacted was

Speaker 11 when

Speaker 11 they lifted up my legs

Speaker 11 because I couldn't tell they were

Speaker 11 doing anything. All of a sudden, I could see my feet up in the air.
And like, it shocked the shit out of me to see my feet because I couldn't tell what was going on. And then all my

Speaker 11 wounds, my bullet holes, we smeared tattoo ink.

Speaker 11 So

Speaker 1 hopefully I got some

Speaker 11 like a it was like a Takashi 6ix9ine shootout because uh, we did like all rainbow-colored fucking ink smeared on these point-blank paintball wounds.

Speaker 1 Oh my god, dude! So, you say that you're like giving away spoilers. I actually think that people are gonna want to watch it more.
You have to watch kind of the beauty of it.

Speaker 1 Like, you can spoil jackass. Well, really, and it just makes you want to watch it even more than you did before.

Speaker 10 Sure, the thing about that one is that we only filmed it this past weekend, and that's going to be in the follow-up to gnarly, perfect, which, um but yeah gnarly's loaded with there's plenty loaded into gnarly like holy i'm not i'm not i will not waste anybody's time who goes to stevo.com to check it out i mean go just look at the trailer like it's so

Speaker 1 up i love it what's what's the insurance like on on the set of jackass will anybody actually give you like liability

Speaker 11 i don't know dude i don't know i remember uh After we filmed Jackass 3D, I was already sober.

Speaker 11 And that was the first time where going into it, I said, Hey, what happens if somebody gets like really hurt or killed?

Speaker 10 And I had never asked that before.

Speaker 10 And they said, Oh,

Speaker 10 workmen's comp law, the Californian workman's comp laws apply.

Speaker 1 You're like, All right, that's a good enough answer for time off for the funeral. You could have said anything.
Jesus.

Speaker 10 That sounded to me so funny.

Speaker 10 And already I got some workmen's comp going on for Jackass Four. And that first week, I got fucking hospitalized like a motherfucker.

Speaker 10 And

Speaker 10 I can't give away what it was, but I broke my own rules. You know, like

Speaker 10 I go into this, the last one and this one. And

Speaker 10 my rule is, I don't want to be fucking paralyzed. I don't want to be fucking killed.
And I actually added, I don't want any fucking brain trauma.

Speaker 10 And

Speaker 10 I'm one weekend, and I actually said to the camera going into this stunt, I was like, man, I had these rules. Fucking no spinal, no brain, no death.
And we're not even one week in.

Speaker 10 And I picked the wrong week to fucking quit doing all that shit.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 10 sure enough, half an hour later, I fucking wake up on the stretcher in the ambulance.

Speaker 1 I'm excited. Actually,

Speaker 10 I woke up on the stretcher. be like uh about to be loaded into the ambulance jesus and then i and then i went out and came to like being like out of the, I don't know, dude.

Speaker 10 It was fucking, that first week of filming was heavy. And

Speaker 10 like, there's full confidence for me that it's going to be a hit.

Speaker 1 I love it. I'm excited.
I can't wait to watch your special as well. It's going to be awesome.
Yes. Well, Steve-O, thank you so much.

Speaker 1 Go to stevo.com. Do it right now.
Go to steve-o.com. Buy the gnarly special.
Also, listen to his podcast. This has been awesome, man.

Speaker 1 Next time you're in New York City, we'd love to have you come by our studio.

Speaker 10 Yeah, I love it. Congratulations on the meteoric success of your podcast.

Speaker 10 And thank you for being so kind to me to alienate such a large portion of your audience who doesn't know about, doesn't know about, or care about Jackass. It's been a real honor, man.
Thank you guys.

Speaker 10 I appreciate it.

Speaker 1 All right, Steve-O. Thanks so much.
Also, can I just say, hearing you say, dude, I think you have the best dude in the world.

Speaker 10 Oh, well, thanks, man.

Speaker 1 Yeah, dude.

Speaker 1 All right, man. Thanks so much.

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Speaker 1 Okay, let's get some segments, finish up the show. We forgot to talk about hockey.
Hockey is back. Yeah.
Congrats.

Speaker 1 Your Blackhawks. It's always good to have playoff hockey.
I know you could have gotten the first overall pick, but you know what?

Speaker 1 Would you rather have like a week and a half of a combination of misery and pain and maybe a couple glimpses of awesomeness now?

Speaker 1 Or would you rather wait four years to maybe have a good player I would take the immediate gratification every single time I also have tricked myself because it is Taze and Kane I'm like okay well they could just do it they could do it and I should have done retroactive who's back who's back is furiously googling and checking on Twitter for the playoff schedule I've been looking for it everywhere where is it give me the playoff schedule I need to plan the rest of my next two weeks around when the Blackhawks play so give it to me give it to me give it to me also the Washington Capitals defeated the Bruins in the first round of the playoffs that ensured seeding.

Speaker 1 So Hank has to play. Third? Yeah, they're third and seven seeds.
So

Speaker 1 they have to play the Islanders. We're going to Borellis.
Hank has to play against the Hurricanes, but you're fine with that, right? Because you can't get to the base of the game.

Speaker 1 Remember that pig that they had last year? They should have killed that pig when the Hurricanes lost. Agreed.
Stand by that.

Speaker 1 You can't have a rally pig, and then when they lose, be like, oh, yeah, now the rally pig gets to just live.

Speaker 1 And you can't bring a pig back because if you bring that same pig back from last year, I'm going to be the first person to start circling patches on its skin and be like that's a different pig kill the pig last year listen that's just that's just how it works you can't just be like we're going to ride the pig's momentum oh whoops we died pig gets to live all right uh this league we got a lot of this league damian lillard versus the clippers was an ultimate this league moment so dame missed two free throws at the end of the game patrick beverly uh was not playing and just clowning on him before that happened dame lillard hit a three and was like pointing at pat Beverly, being like, I want you out here.

Speaker 1 Yes. And so Pat Beverly was sitting out the game.
They were just clowning on him in an empty gym, just yelling at him.

Speaker 1 Afterwards, they interviewed Damian Lillard and were like, how do you feel about it? And he's like, it's a sign of respect. I've sent Pat Beverly home before.
I've sent Paul George home before.

Speaker 1 That seems to be the end of it. Nope.
Then Paul George then took it to Instagram, which is like the full circle for this league. I'm getting exhausted just explaining this.

Speaker 1 Instagram is the new new Temecula. It was like, you guys are going, you will

Speaker 1 see me on these IGCs. Called him chomps.
Basically, yeah, they got into it going back and forth with each other. I would not fuck with Damian Lillard.

Speaker 1 Pat Beverly. Yeah, like fucking with Pat Beverly on the court, that's like walking outside in a lightning storm with it with a nine-iron hand.

Speaker 1 He will fuck you up because that is what Pat Beverly is brought in to do: just fuck with people. And then, and then Dame obviously said, Paul George, like, you keep, you know, switching teams.

Speaker 1 You don't want the hard work. which if you're Damian Lillard, you get to say that argument because you have been for the Trailblazers your entire life.

Speaker 1 You get to make that argument. You absolutely get to make that argument.

Speaker 1 Paul George worked his way out of OKC, worked his way out of Indiana. So I think that stands.
But then Pat Beverly was like Cancun on three. So that always, that kind of ended.

Speaker 1 But then Damian Lillard dropped another 50 piece. Yeah.
50 burger, 50 chicken McNuggets.

Speaker 7 And the Clippers are currently getting smoked by the Nets.

Speaker 1 Which they're probably not trying. Yeah.
So it it is.

Speaker 7 But you got to think Dane Lillard's going to sound off.

Speaker 1 It's been funny watching it go back and forth the last couple days between the Lakers and the Clippers both trying to avoid the Trailblazers in the first round.

Speaker 1 Because, yeah, they're the team that nobody wants to play at West. Oh, and we officially have a play-in game because the Grizzlies lost again.

Speaker 1 So at worst, the Grizzlies will be playing in a play, or at best, the Grizzlies will be playing in a play-in game. At worst, they won't even be in the play-in game.
But that's going to be awesome.

Speaker 1 So August 15th is the first one.

Speaker 1 If the eighth seed wins, the eighth seed's in. If the ninth seed wins, they play again the ninth season.
You've got to win two to get in. They should do it on aggregate.

Speaker 1 It should be like a two-game affair. That's going to be awesome, though.
That's going to be awesome. A one-game elimination.

Speaker 1 And then we had Draymond get fined $50,000 for saying Devin Booker needs to get out of Phoenix on the set of TNT. Yeah, well, so people are saying that there shouldn't be these tampering laws anymore.

Speaker 1 Like $50,000 of Draymond Green is absolutely nothing. It's actually probably worth it in terms of just like the message that he was sending to Booker at that point.

Speaker 1 Like $50,000 to tell Booker to leave Phoenix? Fuck yeah. I also, I kind of love Draymond and Steph and Clay just being the ultimate, like,

Speaker 1 their cow, their coach Cal. They're always recruiting.
Yep. I kind of love that about them.
Yeah. They're just always like, we don't care.

Speaker 1 You guys have already said everything you're going to say about us. We're just going to keep recruiting talent.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, they've, and the Warriors, like, given how they put their team together the last couple of years, like, they are able to speak with authority on whether or not players should leave their marketing.

Speaker 1 And he hasn't treated them well. Come on over.
Although

Speaker 1 someone tweeted, I think it was Devin Booker has won more games in the last week and a half than Draymond has won in 2020.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but Draymond gets to claim all the victories that he's had with Steph Curry and Kevin Durant and all that. He was

Speaker 1 hot. Yeah.
Sons are hot.

Speaker 1 What else we have? Oh, Billy. Kevin Durant.
Kevin Durant.

Speaker 1 Did you guys see this? No.

Speaker 7 Oh, man. All right.
So some guy on Twitter, his name is Z the Creator out of nowhere, nowhere, just tweeted, why are you such a weirdo? Question mark. You were too wealthy for this.

Speaker 7 You really went and followed my girl.

Speaker 1 That's why she blocked you, weirdo,

Speaker 7 at Kevin Durant. And then Kevin Durant replied and said, My bad, I accidentally pressed follow on like dollar picks.

Speaker 1 My phone tripping.

Speaker 1 I love it. No matter how rich you are, how famous you are, you're still going to be, you can still go to Florida.
Facts are a great response.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you can't buy your way. You're just owning it up to it.

Speaker 1 The great attorney to get you out of horny jail. Everyone goes to the bottom.

Speaker 7 You just proven that everything I said was true. You really moved like a hoe.
And then Kevin Durant said, You're just enjoying this experience.

Speaker 7 You won't forget about this day ever with a bunch of extra.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's okay. And Kevin Durant has won this one easily.
It's true. He followed your girl, he liked all her pictures, and now he's just dunking on you on Twitter.

Speaker 1 Now, this guy's got a story to tell all his friends. Like, hey, you know who wants to fuck my girlfriend? Right.
Kevin Durant. Right.

Speaker 1 Until obviously his girlfriend breaks up with him because he's like, oh,

Speaker 1 Kevin Durant wants to fuck me? Mm-hmm. That's kind of cool.
What if he was really into it? That's the way to handle all this.

Speaker 1 Like, if KD starts liking all your girlfriend's tweets, like, yeah, KD, let's do this. Yeah.
Come cuck me. We can only get off to it.
We can only hope he's like a huge LeBron fan or something.

Speaker 1 This is just the final nail. Like, Kevin Durant going to the Warriors crushed him.

Speaker 1 Would that not be tampering? Like, what if you just catfished Booker to get him to Golden State by creating a profile of a super, maybe, maybe a chick with a huge dumper?

Speaker 1 That's why we have dumpers on Big Dumpster. And then you follow Booker and you put your location in as

Speaker 1 Oakland, California. Yeah.
And then just start liking all his tweets. That's not tampering.
Reminder, follow Big Dumpers on Instagram. Some of the

Speaker 1 best dumpers on Instagram. Easily.
I haven't seen better dumpers than that. No.
All right, let's finish up Billy's list. But before we do that, Billy, we gave a cliffhanger.

Speaker 1 So you did listen?

Speaker 1 Did you listen? Yes.

Speaker 1 He listened. Damn.
All right, so the cliffhanger from Wednesday's show that then went to Friday's show that now is here on Monday's show. Finish

Speaker 1 Man receives random seeds from China and has to decide to plant them and see what happens. This is illegal, but the man kept.

Speaker 1 Wait, wait, one second, one second. What exactly do you want to say? You haven't written down.
I know, but Joey, you need to read this. You need to tell us what

Speaker 1 happened. What happened to you? What happened to the seeds? Okay,

Speaker 1 just.

Speaker 1 So he planted them seeds. Yeah.
And he puts

Speaker 1 Miracle Grow on them. And a gourd pops out.
Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 And,

Speaker 1 well, personally, I think that the gourd was, you know, maybe there was something mysterious with the gourd. And it's going to try to harm American gourds with some sort of disease or murder gourds.

Speaker 1 Murder gourds. And guess what's a very American gourd? Pumpkin.
Pumpkin. Whoa.
Orange pumpkin. China's going to cancel Halloween.
Exactly. Wow.
And guess what that's going to cause?

Speaker 1 No pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving. Oh my God.
Trickle down. No pumpkin pie.
No pumpkin pie on Christmas. Christmas gets ruined because there's no good vibes from Thanksgiving.

Speaker 1 You could also say, like, what if the gourds just strangle out local vegetation? They take out Christmas trees. No, the other seeds, there's a variety of seeds.
There's pine seeds.

Speaker 1 There's all sorts of seeds. So yeah, maybe they're going after Christmas trees.
Maybe they're going after pumpkins. These are invasive species.
These are murder gourds.

Speaker 1 If you plant them, then it'll suck off the life from the native species here in America. I think whatever foreign entity is sending these seeds into the United States, foreign entities.

Speaker 1 Can we already skip that? They're from China. You're working for

Speaker 1 the NBA right now, Billy. China's Communist Party.

Speaker 1 Anyway,

Speaker 1 Billy's very sympathetic to President Xi. I think whoever's doing this is

Speaker 1 waging the war on Christmas. Okay.
So I like that.

Speaker 1 That was worth the cliffhanger. Is this payback for TikTok? Exactly.
Like, we're going to strangle out TikTok, so we're going to send Vine over. Well, Bill Gates might get TikTok.
That's true.

Speaker 1 Who would you trust with the information?

Speaker 1 Twitter might also get it too, right? So you have three entities. Chinese government, Bill Gates, Earth.

Speaker 1 Billy's brain. And who owns Twitter again? Jack.
Jack. Jack.
At Jack. Which one of those guys do you want having your TikTok information? Wait, say it again.

Speaker 1 Chinese government. Yeah.
Bill Gates. Yeah.
Jack. Jack.

Speaker 1 Because I think Jack is too incompetent to accurately manage my sensitive information correctly.

Speaker 1 Bill Gates, though, didn't he create Bill Gates a while ago created this thing where you could basically turn poop into water? That's true. But so think about all the shitty tweets we have.

Speaker 1 Jack invented the like button. Shitty TikToks are more shitty TikToks than shitty tweets.
Right. So what could we harness that into?

Speaker 1 Pumpkins.

Speaker 1 Done. Boom.
Boom. Yeah, we're going to go.
How we solve the world's problems. All right.
Anything else on this sheet? Let's see. We've got.

Speaker 1 I had the Kendurant.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you did. You did.
Good job.

Speaker 1 You had Whip Snakes winning. Congrats to the Whip Snakes on back-to-back championship.
This dynasty?

Speaker 1 You said 12 and 6 are the 2020 champions, and then you put Water Dogs have not, but you didn't finish that sentence. What were we going to say there about the Water Dogs?

Speaker 1 That they didn't win the championship. Water Dogs are the best first half team in lacrosse.
That's just facts. Snake becomes a trap hanger? What is that? I don't know.
There was snakes on a train.

Speaker 1 That's classic. You have to put that on the sheet when you see that.
What if it was Pizza Snake and we were all... Damn.
It was a rat snake. We were all hot dog snake.

Speaker 1 That would break the internet if a snake ate a slice of pizza on a New York City subway platform and you could see the slice of pizza in his stomach.

Speaker 1 Or if it was a snake. BlizzFeed would be back in business.

Speaker 1 I think right now, glizzies are more

Speaker 1 current. They're pizza.
So

Speaker 1 if a snake was just deep-throated and glizzy like Heather Brooke, that'd be sick. Yeah.
NASA to remove offensive names from planets and other heavenly bodies. That's on here, too.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 The Eskimo Nebula is being nixed, and the Siamese. You know what I'm offended by?

Speaker 1 White dwarfs. Why?

Speaker 1 No reason in particular. Do I just think that's not the things out there?

Speaker 1 We should not be calling things as a guy that is five, eight and have been told by numerous internet memes that I'm the size of a grain of rice. I don't want stars to be called white dwarfs.

Speaker 1 That's like $1 million in the

Speaker 1 rice thing with Jeff Bezos. So feel good about that.
That's true. Yeah.
Good point. You're worth a million dollars.

Speaker 1 Anything else, Billy? Well, you know what's the biggest unintended consequence of not having having college football season? All the college football players are going to get fat.

Speaker 1 Billy, football, you've been leading the way. I know.
Yeah. And then

Speaker 1 we need to do a PSA.

Speaker 1 This is your body on football. This is your body on without.

Speaker 1 You're the after. Or it's like, this is your podcast with football, and it's a clip of us talking about football with no Billy.
This is your podcast without football, and it's Billy.

Speaker 1 Talking about murder hornets. We're talking about snakes and pumpkins.
There it is, folks. Scary, scary world out there.
All right, Wednesday, we got Tim Woods back doing some Dungeons and Dragons.

Speaker 1 We'll see you then. Love you guys.
Billy, do you have any closing thoughts? Yes.

Speaker 1 Oh, wait, we forgot to mention our darling Jake. Yes, Jake.
Broke his ankle. Jake joined

Speaker 1 the Foot Injury Survivors Club, a part of my take, of which myself and all of us are card-carrying members. But yeah, have you had a foot injury? I have had many foot injuries.
It's serious stuff.

Speaker 1 Yes. So Jake has a pretty much broken ankle right now, which he suffered beating Hank in tennis today.
And Billy, just so you know, Jake, Billy didn't didn't laugh at you, but he did. A lot.

Speaker 1 I thought I could laugh. Yeah, you did.
Billy laughed at you. I was very supportive of you.
Billy laughed at you. Billy set up the ice bucket.
Yeah, no, but that's after I forced him to.

Speaker 1 We also told him it was an ice bucket challenge, and he was like, sweet. That was so funny.
Let's do it. It was during the very last point of tennis of the day.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 During Canadian doubles, I went over for an overhead slam. It went in, but my ankle did not.
That was like Tiger Woods and Brooks Kepka winning on an injured foot. Congratulations.

Speaker 1 You're a warrior, Jake. Thank you.
You're a warrior. Thank you guys for the help.

Speaker 1 I don't know know if you get any pain. Bill, you got anything?

Speaker 1 Why don't you break down ankle sprains for hurt or injured Jake?

Speaker 1 What is it? A high or low ankle sprain.

Speaker 1 Anyway, so I've been thinking a lot lately. I've actually been having very vivid dreams of playing football lately.

Speaker 1 I went camping over the weekend, so I was deep in the woods, disconnected from all sorts of internet. And

Speaker 1 I really just started. You were able to tweet a lot considering you had no internet.
I didn't tweet for two days.

Speaker 1 I sorry tweets today. today.
What? The one that just said bear poop, bear scat? Yep. That was on Sunday.
That was my best picture of my camping trip. Anyway, I think I'm gonna make a comeback.

Speaker 1 I'm not sure how.

Speaker 1 But it's gonna happen.

Speaker 1 Anyway, love you guys.

Speaker 1 lets the state.

Speaker 1 Say it, but I'll be shown

Speaker 1 wait.

Speaker 1 Stay after me.

Speaker 1 Thanks for playing that you say this oven. Stay after me.

Speaker 1 Thanks for playing that you say this oven.

Speaker 1 I've been like the day

Speaker 1 of

Speaker 1 the time I've been doing it.

Speaker 1 You all think about talking

Speaker 1 about

Speaker 1 anyone.

Speaker 1 to you anyway.

Speaker 1 Change all the way.

Speaker 1 Take on me.

Speaker 1 I

Speaker 1 come.

Speaker 1 It's pardon my take presented by Bar Stool Sports.