Jerry O'Connell, Baseball Is Back, Mt Rushmore Of PLL Names

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On today's Pardon My Take, sports are back, sort of. We got a rain delay in the Nats-Yankees game.
We have Jerry O'Connell on the show, one of our favorite recurring guests, always a good time. We have, let's see, fire fest of the week.
Yes. A Mount Rushmore of PLL lacrosse, uh, games.
Awesome. Mount Rushmore PLL is coming back on Saturday and Sunday.
What else do we have? Oh, baseball changed all their rules right before, uh pitch. We have it all, and it's all brought to you by our friends at the Cash App.
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Today is Fri-yay, July 24th. Doesn't matter.
Sports are back. Sports are back big time.
We had opening night tonight. My dad did not trick me into going to a game and then psyching me out, but I did get psyched out by the weather.
The weather has psyched us out. The Nats are officially 0-1 starting.

Wait, it was final, right?

Yes, it was final.

It was final because it went five and a half full innings.

So let me ask you a question, PFT.

The biggest story outside of Dr. Fauci's first pitch.

Woof.

Garbage.

But you know what?

Let's take a sidebar and walk down this conversation.

I actually think first pitches either be terrible or be incredible. I don't think Dr.
Fauci had incredible in him. Might as well just go terrible.
So, like, if you're in the middle, no one remembers. Well, he shot putted it.
That was a mistake. He had bad form.
But it was almost good how bad it was. If you're throwing out a first pitch, you just have to get it inside the home plate circle, the dirt part around home plate.
I'm not talking about the batter's box. I'm talking about just that.
It's probably, what, like 15 feet, 17 feet wide. Just roll it in there.
If you bounce it, that's fine, I guess. He's an older guy.
What is he, like 75? I think he's like 80. No, he might have even done that.
It would actually be concerning to me if Dr. Fauci went out there and grooved one like 90 miles an hour.
Yes. Right down the pipe.
That would be like, I don't know if I want this guy leading my response to infectious disease. So I tweeted out a Groundhog's Day joke that we had, because of the bad throw, we had six more months of coronavirus.
And then my mentions just became a debate about masks. So that fun yeah that's my phone might actually thank god the iphone is playing tricks on us because it overheated and i just threw it into the fucking east river i was like done for the night the take was a little too spicy now in a sick sick way it was kind of nice to have my first bad beat of the year yeah because like i missed i missed missing on a gambling bet so i had i had three bets tonight i had aaron judge to uh get a ground out or a pop fly in his second bat whiffed on that i had the over and that's what fucked me the rain the rain fucked me i might actually i said that i was going to uh i was going to convert to satanism if they didn't play this game because god was playing a cruel trick.
God heard me and played a double trick on me. So guess what? We'll give you a game, but I'm also going to give you a bad beat.
But then again, in a way, it felt good to feel something again. Yes, and what I was going to say to start the show, five innings pitched for Gary Cole, five innings pitched one hit one earned run, just the home run pinstripes.
Is it time pinstripes? I will say that. I think the pinstripes have been devalued a little bit because they've got that Nike swoosh on there now.
Oh, not as pure as it was. I think that this is a new era.
This is pinstripes 2.0. I also saw ESPN had an article today because Yankee fans get very mad when we mock the pinstripes, but then they are willingly ready to get into a debate about it because they mean something.
ESPN had a totally serious headline, The Power of Pinstripes, How Garrett Cole Bought into Becoming a Yankee. Garrett Cole is a Yankee fan for his entire life, so he has now got his pinstripes officially given by me.
Now, I can take them away, but I have given them to him now. Feels like it's a little early to give them.
It might be a premature pinstripe. Want me to read that line for you again? Five innings pitched, one earned run, one hit.
So a complete game. Complete game, not shutout, but close close to it as close to a shutout as you can get so let's embrace debate on the aspect of the empty stadiums because the dodgers stadium they had the cutouts behind home plate in dc was just empty seats behind there i like the idea of the cutouts mostly because i'm just waiting for a line drive foul ball to take one of the heads off the cutouts.
Yes. That's going to be a cool moment when it happens for the first time.

Yes.

And everyone will be like, oh, that's why we need nets.

They actually should take away the nets, right?

Yeah.

And just see if they can just target practice.

No nets.

Why not?

Yeah.

Show everyone how dangerous it would be without nets.

Now's your chance.

Remove all the nets.

That would be fun.

All right.

So baseball is back.

We had our first result.

I think full opening day. Every team is playing tomorrow.
I still don't understand why the Cubs are playing a night game at Wrigley when they should just play in the afternoon. Everyone should be playing in the afternoon.
They should be spaced out all the time. Yeah, you should give back to us the way that hockey is doing it.
They have their schedule right where it's just like you're going to sit down on your couch for 12 hours and there's going to be hockey on the whole time. It's like the NCAA tournament all the time.

We missed those what?

It's probably eight days where it's like back to back to back to back games, right?

Right.

We missed that part of our sports life this year. Give it back to us in the form of baseball, hockey and NBA.
Yes. And then so the only other story we had before we get to Fyre Fest is our future good friend Mark Davis.

When comments. before we get to um fire fest is our future good friend uh mark davis when commenting about what he does when he's hurt so uh it was in context mark davis was hurt when the nfl chose the rams and chargers over the raiders to move to la briefly he said i've lost games before that's how i live my life.
You lose on Sunday. You're pissed.
You go to P.F. Chang's on Monday, have lunch, and then you're on to the next week.
There you go. Boom.
Keep it moving. Just keep it moving.
Is he Buddha? Get a rebound game. Yeah, some people choose to get over things by meditating under a tree for seven days.
Some people, like Sean Payton, choose to get over things by game planning for a game that they're not going to play. Mark Davis just chooses to go have a sensible lunch at an affordable price.
Yes. I think Mark Davis also, I would love to talk to him.
I mean, my dream interview at this point is to interview Mark Davis out of P.F. Chang's.
Like, just put the microphone on the table and not just let it ride. You know what I mean? Like, any actual questions just let it ride like it's basically like uh planet earth when they go to like the amazon yeah and they find like the the toad that no one has ever seen before this would be finding mark davis in his natural habitat of uh pf changs and just watching him it'd be wonderful to do i would change my name instead of PFF.
It would be P.F. Chang's commenter that I would change it to.

Sorry, Chris Collinsworth. That easy.
It'd be wonderful.

I think just sitting down with him, I don't even

want to talk sports. I don't want to talk Raiders.

I just want him to guide us through the menu

like a tour guide at Disney World

on one of those boats that they take down the river.

Do you think he has a punch card?

I bet you he does.

Buy 10 Mongolian beef, get one free. Whatever the equivalent of the P.F.
Chang's black card is. Yes.
He might have made it himself, but he has one. And he definitely has a waiter and waitress that he just like...
He's like, no, no, no. These are my people.
Yeah, just wings, baby. Yeah.
Mark Davis. What an interesting, interesting man.
How often do you think he gets his gets his haircut he seems like a guy that does it once a week same day same barber well so I might do it himself every morning I was on DVE in Pittsburgh this morning which we alternate weeks we love those guys uh I can't remember I think it might have been Randy he said that uh he might get his haircut at pf changs which would kind of explain everything right like he changs and banks and he just goes there and he gets his haircut and that's why it's so bad because they're like mr davis you know we don't cut hair he's like no cut my hair and so they're forced like some guy from the back of the kitchen is forced to come out and cut his hair and he just he just won't take't take no for an answer. He's like, no, this is my lunch and barbershop.
Yeah. With like one of those giant knives that they use in the kitchen.
They just slice it up straight line. Like we don't, we really don't know how to do this.
Like shut up. Cut my hair.
That's also probably the only time of the week that he can eat while not being afraid of spilling something all over his white track suit. Right.
They'll put like a little apron in front of him while gets his hair cut and he can eat while he's doing it. Yes.
So Mark Davis, what a gem. Okay.
Before we get to Firefest week, one last announcement. Next week, next week, it's going to be Grit Week.
We're going to do it a little bit differently this year because obviously we can't travel anywhere. No places would have us.
That's regardless of the coronavirus. They just don't want to deal with our't want smelly bodies so uh yeah it's going to be a little different but grit week next week is going to be uh fantastic we have actually an unbelievable interview already lined up for monday and then on wednesday night i think it's gonna start about five o'clock we'll let you know the exact time from wednesday around five o'clock to thursday at five o'clock part of my take is going to do a 24-hour twitch stream the grittiest stream you've ever seen we're not going to get off we have a treadmill coming we have games uh i think pft you're going to drink a beer every hour i'm going to try to drink a beer every hour eat a hot dog every hour raise it up raise money for.
We're going to raise money for Children's Hospital. It's going to be awesome.
What's grittier than just staying up with your bros for 24 hours and getting loopy as fuck? And then at the end of it, we're going to tape Thursday's show. Yeah, and that will be very interesting.
Very interesting. And so we timed it out so that we're going to end the Grit Week stream right when basketball starts, the official game start.
At first, that sounded like a great idea to to me but then i realized i'm going to have to watch basketball games at the end of this there's no chance we're just going to fall asleep during during the games and that's fine i'll get a little taste of the tony kornheiser life and find out about it tomorrow morning in the paper but it's going to be fun i'd like to get a little uh like uh from that show 24 i'd like to get a little ticker in that style in the bottom of the screen yes let's know exactly how much time has passed maybe we can save the president or something it's going to be great uh so get excited 24 hour stream coming on wednesday night starting around five o'clock like i said uh we got a bunch of things planned guests everything we're gonna get some trending on twitter we have a lot of things planned. These awesome Bose 700 headphones.
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So go visit at Bose.com slash Barstool, B-O-S-E dot com slash Barstool, Bose.com slash Barstool, and you will get $40 off your Bose 700 headphones, which are the greatest headphones in the entire world. Okay, FireFest of the Week.
Hank. My FireFest of the Week is that because of Corona, it's my girlfriend's birthday on Sunday, and I obviously waited a little bit longer.
You know, presents, I push it off, push it off, push it off. Ordered some stuff and then Corona, they're like, you know, shipping might take longer than usual and I'm 50-50 on if the gift will be here in time.
This is smart, Hank, because you're getting ahead of it and you're saying, oh yeah, the thing that I ordered today, well, it turns out it's only not going to be here in time because of Corona. Also, in defense of you, coronavirus has been a thing for like only four months.
So, you definitely didn't see that coming. Well, that's my fire fest.
Yeah, I failed to think about the fact that coronavirus was still going on and shipping was going to be delayed and all that stuff. And it's really a procrastination thing.
It's the shipping. Right, it's the shipping.
I remember when I first- My fire fest is myself. Yeah, I remember when I first realized shipping was late for coronavirus I was riding my dinosaur while I was doing that I mean don't sit here and act like future cat doesn't do this stuff all the time Listen I do it but I remember like March was when we're like fuck everything's gonna take a month to get here I know okay What sort of items did you purchase that are being delayed by shipping? Is this like toilet paper? You got her a ton of toilet paper? Sorry, it's back until December.

Yeah, aluminum.

We're out of aluminum.

Clorox.

Just normal stuff.

You tried to get her some Clorox.

What'd you get her?

Don't worry about it.

We'll bleep it out.

I got her some Harry Styles merch.

Nice.

I'm not going to give it away on the show.

Okay.

Some cash?

I did not get her cash.

You could get her cash.

Or shipping, yeah. You could also just cash app her.
Cash app her, that's zero seconds of shipping. That's true.
But so, yeah, I'm just a little nervous. I'm hoping today, Friday, that everything shows up.
But I'm nervous. Well, mentioning it here will get you out of the doghouse.
You ordered it a long time ago. Listen, Hank, I'm going to give you a little tip.
Now that you are a dog father, anytime there is any fight or issue at home, you can just be like, look at the dog. He's so cute.
It's a great, great way to defuse situations. You know what you should do? You should just tie a bow around Normie.
Yeah. Be like, happy birthday.
That's just going to be cute. You can't be mad at that no matter what.
Oh, you should get a dog shirt. You could probably get a dog shirt.

I'd say the dog ate it.

The dog ate your guest.

Yeah.

No, you should hit up our t-shirt guy and get a shirt for Normie that says,

I have the best mom in the world.

Boom.

Solved.

He'll get that to you on Saturday.

There you go.

Problem solver.

That's a problem solver.

Boom.

So we're recording this after the Nats game. So I don't know if this is going to be my Fyre Fest or not.
If the Nats game is delayed, my Fyre Fest is literally a festival. Yeah, we're recording this after.
No, we're recording this right now before. We're recording this before the Nats game, so we don't know.
We don't know, but my Fyre Fest would be literally a Fyre Fest if it gets delayed because I said that I convert to Satanism if God spites me and spites all of us for our patience during Corona and doesn't give us opening night. So you got a job waiting for you at Wayfair.
I feel like, yeah, there you go. And I feel like being in hell, if I'm going to be a Satanist, that's going to be great.
Like you'd rather be Satan's right hand guy than be a guy that gets punished. Right.
So I'm spin zoning myself into that already. I don't know what converting to Satanism entails, but I'm sure it's kind of like getting it's the way gained online.
I just, I have to buy a cabinet on Wayfair and then you got to become an Ellen super fan. Well done already.
Yeah. Super duper.
Watch Tom Hanks movies. And yeah.
Yeah. Five few typewriters.
But my, my other fire fest of the week, my real one is that my neighbor came up and rang on my door last night. So I was cooking dinner.
She buzzed my door, and she was very nervous to talk to me. And I didn't know why she was so nervous.
And she said, you keep very late nights. I was like, well, no.
I'm usually in bed between 11 and 1 every night. I've actually got this Whoop app that tells me when I go to sleep.
Nice. So I know that I'm not up at like three or four in the morning.
She's like, no, three or four in the morning. I hear pounding every night on my bedroom ceiling in your bedroom.
There you're making a lot of noise at night. And yeah, well, I'm dumb.
And I didn't realize that she was saying you need to stop fucking at three o'clock in the morning. What I told her was Leroy just, he walks around heavily.
I thought maybe that's what the issue was. I figured out what it was.
Leroy in his old age has started to kick violently in his sleep. Yeah.
And when he kicks, he doesn't realize what he's kicking and he's knocked over nightstands. He kicks the bed sometimes.
And so she thought that she was coming up to confront me about my fucking. I should just rolled with that and been like yeah you know what i'm having a lot of sex late at night sorry i'll try to tone that down in the future but i'm dumb and i just so it was leroy walking around but the bottom line is now leroy's gonna be kicking in the middle of the night and my neighbor's gonna think that i'm fucking and i say leroy to her yeah and i don't think it's leroy no because even after i said that to her She was like, no, it's not a dog walking around It's not somebody walking around It's banging I was like, well, it's gotta be Leroy walking But the thing is, she's going to think that I'm fucking again And I'm not gonna be fucking Well, you know what? Fuck her If she wants, come on over, 3 in the morning Yeah,.
Yeah. I'll just leave a tie hanging on my main apartment door.

Sorry.

The dog.

Sorry.

The dog gets his wind sprints in the middle of the night, but it sucks to be accused of

fucking too loudly when you're just asleep.

No, I wish I wish I was fucking.

I think that's a good thing because it's like everyone's she's going to be like, holy shit.

This guy.

Look at him.

You know?

Yeah.

Three in the morning.

Look at this stud.

Wow.

Look at this.

Look at this ramrod. What a guy.
Pissed and chaffed. Yeah.
yeah i don't know i'd rather be fucking if i'm gonna get in trouble for fucking yeah i mean that there is some there's definitely some truth in that but i think you're kind of the badass in the uh building now i guess so yeah she's she's gotta watch she's gotta you know watch out because you're gonna three in the morning shit but in truth it's just my dog knocking over my nightstand yeah which she Which she should. You should have just showed her Leroy.
You should have been like, you want to see a video of him kicking? Well, I didn't think of that at the time. I didn't know what she was talking about.
So I was like, maybe it's my dog walking around. Right, right.
In retrospect, yeah, I should just answer the door with a video of Leroy kicking. You'd be like, yep, this is him.
I'll be like, here, let me show you a video of what you're actually hearing. She'll be like, no, no, don't let me see that.
All right, my fire fest is Mike Tyson is back. He's going to fight Roy Jones Jr.
in September. And yeah, I'm going to get excited for this fight.
I'm going to buy this fight. I assume it's on pay-per-view.
Jake Paul's fighting Nate Robinson, is that right? Yep, undergar. Who the fuck cares about that? Mike Tyson, I don't...
I want to see his ass beat. Jake Paul's a fucking beast, dude.
I want to see him get beat up by Nate Robinson. Yeah, but Jake Paul is a beast.
No, he's not. Nate Robinson is a beast.
He was Ohio... His brother was.
That's his older brother. He wasn't as well? No.
We're in the low gang. Jake Paul steroids or not, Billy? Oh, 100%.
100% steroids? Either way, I'm going to buy this fight and Mike Tyson is going... Mike Tyson and Roy Jones are not going to want to knock each other out.
They're not even going to be able to punch like they are going to want to knock each other out, and it's very much similar to everything that happened at the end of Mike Tyson's career when I would buy every single pay-per-view and be like, oh, my God, just one punch, and he's back to being Mike Tyson, and he's the ultimate, oh, my gosh, one punch, and you're out. It's going to suck.
Sadder than the Kimbo Slice Dada 3000 fight? That one was funny. 5,000.
5,000. Some respect on his name.
I confuse it with the Gluck Gluck sometimes. Yeah, he's upgraded.
That's been upgraded too. I think it's 9,000 now.
9,000. Holy shit.
That's fake stuff. You've got to get your numbers right.
You never were good at math. No, definitely not.
But yeah, this is going to, without a question, suck. And I'm going to get so excited for it.

So, so excited for it.

I think everybody's going to watch Mike Tyson fight.

Of course.

For sure.

Because there is the possibility that one punch, boom, lights out.

Yeah.

All right, Billy, your Firefest.

I got picked last in a competitive event for the first time in my life.

And it was really humbling.

But it was video games.

Nerd shit.

I know.

I know.

But I started to care about video games lately. And it's kind of really affected my psyche.
No, dude. That's your problem.
You just never care about anything. Okay.
But yeah. Who picked you last? White Sox Dave.
Oh. That's tough.
That's tough. Yeah.
When the guy who should be picked last picks you last. That's always a real dagger in the heart.
White Sox Dave has I've said it many times before he has a genius strain in his body where like he could be the best Fortnite player of all time just out of nowhere. I'd be like what? How'd that happen? And to be fair I went on the dog walk last week and we did a draft and he had by far the worst draft out of all of us.
So in a way him picking you last means that he should have picked you first. Although, if you picked him last, that means it really wasn't White Sox Dave's pick.
It was everyone else's last. Oh, yeah.
Then everyone else passed you. Yeah.
Okay, here's what you do. You just change your number to however many teams there are, and that's how many teams passed on you.
Can I ask a question, Billy? Was anyone else in this room in the draft? Yes. And they didn't pick you? Nope.
Wow. So who was that? No, Liam, you weren't in that, were you? No.
Jake? Was it you, Big Cat? I wasn't. No, I wasn't.
Well, Billy, so during the day, Billy, someone sent me the clip. I don't think Billy expected me to see this, but he was playing with his friends, and he was like, someone was like, oh, you know, Hank's gotten a lot better, and Billy was like, I'm better than Hank now.
No, no, no. And they were like, have you said that to him? And Billy was like, not to his face.
And then someone sent me the clip. So I don't think Billy would expect me to see it.
So I kind of was a little bit mad at him. It was like, fuck Billy.
That's fair. And then we destroyed his team.
So I made the right decision. The exact quote was, I think I'm getting close to the point where I'm going to eclipse Hank's skill.
That doesn't sound like an exact quote. We'll put the clip in.
Yeah, think you're getting close doesn't sound like something you would say. That was way too measured for what the actual clip was of you.
No, no, no. In a moment when you don't think you're being videotaped, you absolutely were like, fuck that, I'm so much better than Hank.
Hank, I've noticed recently Hank's been holding a lot of grudges. How long do you hold on to a typical grudge like that? It's not a grudge.
I i just you know it's it's a it's a fire i need fire in my body to keep it going uh so it's honestly i i welcome those type of situations because it was like i you know billy said that i want to prove him wrong i did uh pft says it's better than ping pong i want to prove him wrong i did yeah uh how many kills i said you should have known about amazon you're mad at me about it you. You're going to prove me wrong.
Your shit's going to get there in time. Yes.
So, yeah, I just need a little fuel in my body. In Hank's defense, we are getting close to a vacation, right? Yes.
We have to be. You can feel it.
You can feel it. Like the tides and the moon, you can feel it.
Hank's ready for a little vacation. What's your longest running grudge? I've been impressed how long you've held a grudge against chocolate milk.

Chocolate milk.

I don't know.

I mean, LeBron's one that I'll never really get over.

Them cheating in the Eastern Conference Finals back in the day.

I don't know.

Chocolate milk.

I guess I'll have to think about that.

The written word.

Well, we'll future it in the beginning of the show. Okay foreshadow it Perfect Are you Serbian? No They hold big grudges Really? Is that true? Yep Where'd you learn that? Black hand Wow Yeah, true Good point Are you Serbian, Hank? Okay He might be Who knows? The beard looks quasi-Devacian.

That would be great if you're like, yes, in fact, I am.

I learned how to hold a grudge at a very young age.

All right.

Let's get to our interview.

We have one of our favorite recurring guests, Jerry O'Connell.

He might.

If we did a Mount Rushmore right now.

Stephen Hawking, but Stephen Hawking is dead.

Oh, yeah.

You did have a big grudge against him. Yeah.
You grudged him to death. Yeah, you won.
You won, Hank. Congrats.
Jerry O'Connell is one of our favorite, favorite guests. Before we do that, lacrosse is back.
Sports are back, but lacrosse is definitely back. Watch the world's best lacrosse players battle for the title in the upcoming Premier Lacrosse League Championship Series beginning on Julyuly 25th at 4 p.m on nbc that's this sunday 20 total games in two weeks all on nbc sports and nbc the water dogs are playing yes let's go our team is back sports are back lacrosse is back the league seven teams will compete in a 14 game group play format to determineing for the following week's single elimination tournament.
Group play is July 25th through August 2nd. Elimination is August 2nd through August 9th.
Then we get the championship game on August 9th. Water Dogs are playing on July 26th, 4 p.m.
NBC. Wait, that's Sunday, right? Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah all right so it's back on saturday and sunday is when they're back when when uh the water dogs are officially back water dogs on sunday 4 p.m nbc uh the red woods versus the whip snakes on saturday 4 p.m nbc so that's going to be great national television uh check it out and also a little foreshad. We're going to do the Mount Rushmore of PLL player names after Jerry O'Connell.
That's going to be great. But the Premier Lacrosse League is back.
Our good friend Paul Rabel is back. We're very, very excited.
So get ready this weekend. PLL, NBC, NBC Sports.
Let's fucking do it. If you're an Archers, Atlas, Chaos, Chrome, Redwoods, or Whipsnakes fan, fuck you.
That's all I gotta say. What? Rob Pinnell's back too.
First time playing lacrosse in a year. He's like the best attack man in the world and he's finally being able to play.
Good addition to the ad, Billy. Way to go.
He's playing for... That's huge, man.
Big comeback. He's on the Atlas.
Okay, there we go. We hate the Atlas.
We hate the Atlas. The atli.
Yeah. Okay, we hate that.
Exciting. All right, so let's get to our interview with Jerry O'Connell.
All right, we're going right into it. Jerry O'Connell, good friend of the program.
Long-time recurring guest. What the fuck are you wearing? Are you? What are you doing? Well, first of all, I got to tell you, I'm currently wearing the artist formerly known as San Diego, currently Los Angeles football team jersey because of the disrespect both you guys show to the formerly San Diego Chargers, currently Los Angeles Chargers, on an episode-by-episode basis.
It's really crazy. Yeah, that's not necessarily true, Jerry, because we loved Phillip Rivers.
We loved Danny Woodhead. We like to make fun of the fact that there are two fans in the stands every single game.
That's not true. For that Pittsburgh Monday night game last season,

the stands were packed.

True.

That's true.

And they were all waving the towel,

the alternate yellow towel of the Los Angeles football Chargers.

Okay, so you're wearing a LaDainian Tomlinson jersey,

which, by the way, that's a great jersey.

That's a great jersey.

It's like four sizes too big.

I know.

I had to order it quickly. I paid paid a lot for shipping by the way i'm uh i'm really sorry about that any environmentalists i know when you pay for the really fast shipping it hurts the environment a lot but i needed it to get here for my for my segment on your show i wanted to show cat and commenter what uh what a fan i am you realize though this is a podcast right and not it's not a video it's not a television show um yeah but i thought maybe it would be a topic that we could talk about while we're doing it right now yeah so all right so you're so we talked about the charger season ticket holders on tuesday night and you got the jersey it's thursday we're taping this you're also you're sitting on the hood of a car.
What's going on there? What kind of car? Where are you? This is an 86 Jaguar. Also, an internet purchase that I made.
Actually, I didn't make it. Full story.
My wife sometimes drinks at night. Nice.
And my wife bought a Jaguar on eBay. Nice.
It's completely rusted out underneath it. It rarely starts.
But when it does, she's a good ride. I can't wait to pick you guys up at the airport when we're all allowed to travel and everything.
I want always travel in the convertible especially when i'm in la i'm i'm impressed that your wife when she gets drunk and she like goes on amazon i i bought three bryson dechambeau hats as a joke when i was drunk the other night i don't know what i'm gonna do with them your wife goes on to ebay and she's like yeah i'll buy this vintage jaguar convertible that's a sick flex i think made a low bid and it happened to to take now what was that conversation like when she woke up the next morning she was like hey jerry i think i accidentally bought a car uh i don't think the conversation actually occurred until the notification came that uh her her bid was accepted yeah that's a rush you won the bid you the bid for a Jaguar. And then I think it was a go back in the history and figure out what actually happened sort of situation.
That's unbelievable. All right.
So Jerry is with us. The first dude wears my car.
Congrats on this is New Year's Eve. This is not even New Year's Eve.
This is New Year's Day. This is Sports Year's Day.
This is this. Yes.
Yes. Sports Year's Day.
It is. We're back.
Sports are back. It feels good.
Are you guys going straight to watching every single telecast of every baseball game that's happening tonight? Oh, yeah. Well, there's two.
So it's not like a lot. But, yeah.
We will. I'm just so thankful to have any live sports back on television.
I watch whatever you put in front of me on that screen right now i i it's been such a drought the last four or five months i still have no idea how i made it through uh you you guys did figure out a way to make it entertaining though i mean if not talking about uh xbox video games that Some of you play, I mean, talking about, you know, the San Diego, formerly San Diego, Los Angeles Chargers season ticket holders, which I should say, full disclosure, I was for a few years a San Diego Chargers season ticket holder. Oh, did they call you by accident when they canceled the tickets last week? They were like, hey guy hasn't had tickets for a while but we might as well i i have not since they moved to the new stadium i was actually when i moved to los angeles from the new york area i wanted a team to root for and los angeles did not have a team at that time okay so uh i would uh i would make the trip and drive down there i i actually would imagine the the uh poor souls in the chargers ticket office that had to make those phone calls to clock in a full like eight hour day.
They probably did go back in time and they're like, well, this guy had tickets like six years ago. Let's give him a call so at least we can stretch this day out so that we can get fully paid.
I did look busy. You know, I had kids.
How was it going, Kat? How was being a daddy? It's awesome. It's the best thing ever.
And I mean that, honestly. I think it's cliche.
Most people are like, oh, it's the best thing ever. But I actually was thinking about that this morning.
I was like, it's fucking awesome. Yeah.
That's going to change when there's like a pandemic and your kids are going to school and then they stop going to school and then you're responsible for their school that will probably end yes i recognize fully recognize that i'm very lucky i think that if you had a kid that if you have a child that's over the age of 25 you're fine during the pandemic and then if you have a child like myself under the age of two where he doesn't have any fucking clue what's going on we're going to tell him someday that he survived the pandemic in new york city and he's gonna be like what the hell is that i i definitely am lucky i i feel for anyone who has to uh homeschool yeah commenter i would uh i would love it if you could maybe help out with some homeschooling over zoom or something with the kids uh maybe uh you know broadcasting class or something yeah we teach class. It would be nice to be not the shortest person in the room sometimes.
So, yeah. Well, no, his wife's pretty tall, so it's good stock.
Yeah. Commenter, I've actually stood next to you.
I'm a pretty tall guy. I don't remember you not being tall.
I'm like 5'9 1⁄2", 5'10 on a good day. Some would say 5'11".
Wait, Jerry, can we actually do this? Can we this can we teach your kids a class yeah why don't you why don't you make it like a like a communications course or something i'd be happy to do that can we swear no i'm happy to do it but yeah big cap brings up a good point what's the profanity uh level like what are what's acceptable can we go damn hell and ask those are all generic profanity let me try and give a good example of of profanity um my kids are like uh remember those john hughes movies where there were a couple of f-bombs dropped and a couple of s-bombs dropped that's about the level of my kids profanity you know like a pg-13 like a yeah we do watch pg-13 we do watch the chapelle show So, I mean, Chappelle cursed quite a solid PG-13. We do watch the Chappelle show.

I mean, Chappelle cursed quite a bit in those shows.

Yeah, I think they're okay with profanity.

I mean, I'm okay with it.

Would you let your kids watch Stand By Me?

I have.

They couldn't really get through it.

For those listening, I was in Stand By Me.

It's not, you know, these kids,

I know you guys are big on the TikTok.

These kids, they're TikTok and like the,

just doing the sexy dances and stuff.

Thank you. listening i was in stand by me it's not you know these kids i know you guys are big on the tiktok these kids are tiktok and like the just doing the sexy dances and stuff um you know like a long form stand by me is an 80 minute movie and that's about 79 minutes too long for my children now now uh one other thing before we teach this class are would you consider were your kids raised in New York.A.? My kids are being raised in a suburb of Los Angeles called Calabasas.
Okay, yeah, so I'm out. I'm out.
I'm scared of them. They're cooler than us.
Forget it. There is a little vocal fry with my children like they do.
And obviously, you know, we can't.

We have to encourage children to be the best they can be.

But when I do hear that vocal fry, I punish them.

As you should.

Now, what sort of what sort of balance sports do they excel at?

Are they already on skateboards?

Are they surfing?

You know, I know last time I came on the show, I'll retell the story really quickly because we were talking about Cat's Kid and getting Cat's Kid involved in sports. My children, I put them in a soccer camp.
And after the first class, the coach called me and said, hey, Mr. O'Connell, this Jamal um I'm I'm your kid's soccer coach and I went oh yeah and I stopped for a second and in my head I thought this is it this is the call that all parents of star this is the call that Tiger Woods's dad got Earl Woods got where it's like listen I need to work with your, he's got it, whatever it is, he's got it.
I mean, there's really no limit to how far he can go, but it's going to be a big dedication. You have to drive into tournaments.
You have to really, you have to be as much a part of this commitment as your child. And I was thinking, you know, I have daughters.
I was thinking, you know, the, the U S women's soccer team, you know, I was thinking the sky's the limit. And, uh, the coach said, your daughter shows no interest whatsoever in playing soccer.
And we feel a little bad taking your money. I don't think she should be enrolled in this class.
And I became,, and I said, I pay you to watch her for three hours a week. That's what your job is.
I don't want to hear from you again. Just make sure she's alive when I pick her up.
Well, how about this, Jerry? Why don't we teach them a class on broadcasting? We can teach them how to podcast, and we'll help them develop their own podcast where they just sit, they watch a Jerry O'Connell movie, and then they do a podcast about it afterwards and they talk about their dad. Okay.
Will people be interested in a podcast about my children watching movies I've been in? I mean, I know I'm here pushing, promoting The Secret, Dare to Dream, an amazing film that's coming out on video on demand next Friday. But like, are people really going to listen to that? I think they would listen to your daughters roasting you.
Yeah. All right.
It's done. They would absolutely watch Stand By Me and they'd be like, wow, dad, dad used to have a few pounds around the old waistband back in the day.
That would be funny. People would listen to that.
Yeah. You know, because I played the Husky Kid in Stand By Me, you're saying I was a little heavier.
Wait, that was you? If you rewatch it, I wasn't that big. I wasn't that.
You had a dad bod. Wait, that was you? You were the fat kid in Stand By Me? That's rude, what you're calling me.
I was healthy kid I'm sure you see kids on the street or whatever And you're like, that's a healthy kid But I was I was not fat What you're saying is a little rude To be honest You were extremely healthy Fair, fair And you're confusing me with the Los Angeles Chargers football team. Yes.
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Must be 21 to purchase. Going off that, going off the Chargers, I am actually curious to know what you think about your quarterback situation because it's the first time in a long time without Phillip Rivers.
We're all going to miss him out on the West Coast playing those afternoon games down like 14 to 20 with six minutes left and seeing how many interceptions he can throw. You've got Justin Herbert.
You've got a new toy. And is it Tarad, right? Tarad is kind of penciled in to be the starter.
I love the San Diego Chargers simply because of their running back situation.

That Eckler dude single-handedly got me into the playoffs last season.

Yep.

I'm a huge – it's so funny how I play fantasy,

and no one should take my advice because I lose consistency.

You'll never remember my virgin time with you, you, cat and commenter on your show. I talked about how I only draft Browns players on my team.
And I I've only been to the airport in Cleveland. I have no affiliation with Cleveland whatsoever.
It's just because last, the last time I won fantasy football, had braylon edwards and derrick anderson as a one-two punch and i and i won that season so now i have to have at a minimum three browns on my fantasy football team every season and i have not won since that season i um i did make the playoffs this year it was um out of 16 teams, 14-team playoff. I snuck in in the 14th seed.
I didn't lose in the first round badly. The number one seed had a bye, so I had to play the number two seed, and he would be pretty good.
But that Austin Eckler um I'm a huge fan of uh drafting at least one uh San Charger running back Los Angeles football team uh running back um on on my fantasy team I like it so do you haven't have you done any uh scouting for this upcoming season uh you know it's a little bit wasteful because uh you know i like to also draft um people who i i like on hard knocks who actually make the team so hard knocks is not aired yet so you have to either be a brown uh a early san diego football team now currently los angeles football team running back or some sort of second stringer on hard knocks for me to draft you on my team well that's perfect because this year it's the chargers and the rams on hard knocks i know you're gonna have a deep draft board i do not draft any rams i have a problem with drafting rams i don't know why it's a weird it's a weird thing that i have your fantasy strategy is is honestly the most interesting fantasy strategy of anyone I've ever encountered because it's really it's nothing really based on production it's it's just personal likes and dislikes and I respect the hell out of that it's really crazy I um I have a lot of problems uh sorry to the people of Houston I can't watch a Texans. I don't know what it is about the Texans that annoy me.
So I could never draft DeAndre Hopkins, even if I had a top five pick. Good news, he's a Cardinal this year.
Yeah. Do you watch the Cardinals? I do not watch the Cardinals either.
It's so funny. I have weird teams that I can't watch.
I do love to watch, and I've never been to Jacksonville, but I love to watch Jaguars games. I don't know why, man.
Yeah, it's a two-tone helmet sometimes that they used to have. Those are sweet.
That makes no sense. I know.
Because that same season with Braylon Edwards and derrick anderson i uh i also started in my rb2 slot maurice jones drew who i love on the nfl network over there sorry to talk about a sports uh network that's not barstool but um he's uh he's a great commenter and not you commenter he's a great commenter on uh nfl network and um he uh i i just have always

drafted um jaguars i i had that garner minshu last season and that uh dj chart that at that

dj chart he was um it was uh it was a really fun season for me i told you i snuck into the playoffs

yeah that was good for you uh for me sometimes if i if i have this player and i'm kind of the

same way i think all of us are we're for whatever reason we just don't like certain that was good for you. For me, sometimes if I have this player, and I'm kind of the same way,

I think all of us are.

For whatever reason, we just don't like certain teams.

We're just bored by certain teams.

For me, I can't watch the Giants.

Their uniforms are just boring.

They always play boring games in prime time.

But it always takes a full year for them after they get off that team

and they get to a new team for me to realize that they're a good player now

and that they're exciting to watch in a different uniform. They'll still have that kind of layover stink on them for about 12 months.
Right, right, right. I can understand that.
It's sort of like East coast, NFC, old school football. I could see why you're not into the giants.
It's not, it's not that exciting. ASC stuff that happens, you know?

I could see that.

Are you afraid at all, given your past with fantasy football,

that eventually in like 10 or 15 years you're just not going to be able to play anymore

because you're going to have so many like no-watch teams and players

and eventually you're going to look at it and you'll be like,

wait, I only have Chargers and Browns and there's not enough roster spots anymore.

It's a tough question, I know. Such a good question, man.
This is why you guys are going to be so good at teaching my kids an online broadcasting class. No, because New teams sneak in for me

That I would have thought i would have never um been a part of um let me try and give an example of that um uh let me think why am i into the raiders i had somebody on the ra Raiders. Maybe I had some...
Hard knocks. Hard knocks.
But I had some random... I think it was Washington or something.
A couple years ago, I had some random running back from the Raiders that somehow did well for me. And now I'm able to watch Raiders games again.
Okay. Was it Rob Cartwright? It was not Rob Cartwright.
It was something Washington I'm so sorry I'm I'm blanking on his name so that's good though that means that you're you're not a never say never guy you can let people back into the Jerry O'Connell uh fantasy draft guide you should actually do we should do that we should build a draft guide for you I like can we do that can we sit down down and be like, and we'll go through it and just be like, Texans, Deshaun Watson, don't draft. Why? I can't do it.
Because for some reason, Jerry O'Connell can't watch Texans games. I can't do it.
I can't do it. We can tease it right now.
We'll put this out with tomorrow's show. Just give us your power-ranked top five Browns to watch out for in the 2020 season fantasy-wise.
I'm really going to be looking at their tight end situation. I'm really going to be looking at their tight end situation.
Who did they just get that – I'm sorry. I'm using my phone for this interview, so I can't look it up.

But they just got some amazing tight end. Either way, I want to do this.
I want to sit down, and you can tell us exactly who you want and don't want and why, the reasoning, and we'll go through the whole thing. And I think that if people follow the Jerry O'Connell draft methodology for fantasy football, you too can finish 14 out of 16 and sneak into your playoffs, given that they're giving 14 teams a playoff spot.
Guys, will there be any cutouts of you at any of these baseball games tonight that I will be watching? No, I don't think so unless somebody else made them without our knowledge. That's always a possibility.
You were talking about Austin Hooper, by the way, who went from the Falcons to the Browns. Yes.
He's definitely going to be my tight end, and I'm going to do something not so smart where I pick him in the second round or something.. That's how that's how weird.
I want a whole list of like, yeah, like, all right, third round. This is when we fuck everyone up and take our defense.
No one's going to be guys. I guess guys, I guess it's obsessive compulsive disorder.
Like you have to have something a certain way. And by the way, the reason why I fail so miserably in fantasy, I'm in four leagues of course they're i don't know if we're allowed to talk about uh wagering here but of course they're all 200 buy-in so when you lose it's actually like especially now with the quarantine it's actually like financially like my children don't get like school lunch for right like a like a couple weeks right um it actually it actually affects me economically these these insane ocd decisions that i have it actually is a burden and then it makes me depressed around the house and then you know sunday monday i'm emotionally not well i can't watch or listen to any sports, television or radio, until they stop talking about what happened that Sunday.
It's a pretty bad cycle for about 16 weeks. Jerry, 14-team PPR here.
Who should I draft? Odell Beckham or Jarvis Landry? What are you drafting them in? A 14-team PPR fantasy football league.

Any round you want.

Oh, what round am I taking them in?

Yeah, who would you take first?

Or would you just take both?

You know, I took Odell last season, and while I respect him as an athlete

and also an online personality, he really did not perform for me.

It really cost my children thousands of dollars. I would just either of them.
I would I would I would stick with my boy Hooper. That's about it.
We're going with Hooper. I like that.
I'm in draft boards. I like that.
I'm sorry. And Landry also also because he's playing with Odell, he's a tough pick as well.
You just can't rely on them consistently having Michael Thomas-like numbers every week. You know what I'm saying? Right.
I had a question about the actual movie that you're promoting, The Secret. Oh, yes.
Yes. Of course.
I know you guys live by this book. It's amazing.
It's the book that uses laws of attraction To help you get things that you want in life They made a very romantic Sweeping epic film about it It stars Katie Holmes and Josh Lucas I know commenter you are a huge fan of Sweet Home Alabama I am yeah you Yeah, you know me, Reese Witherspoon. And the star of Sweet Home Alabama, Josh Lucas, is in it.
Dreamy, dreamy guy. I play Katie Holmes' husband who is whatever the secret is and those laws of attraction are, my character is the opposite of that.
I'm holding her back in life. Oh, wait.
You're an anchor. Wait, so wouldn't that – wouldn't you technically – I'm an anchor.
Yeah, wouldn't you technically be the secret then if you just did everything opposite of what you do? You have the secret. My character is the anti-secret, is the antithesis of it.
But then you do also contain the secret by just everything that your character does, just don't do that. And therein lies the secret.
Yeah, sure. If you use that reverse psychology, sure, yeah.
Then my character is the answer to everything. I saved the production company a lot of money.
We'll just get rid of the fucking, what's the guy's name who tries to be the heartthrob?

We know you're the heartthrob.

No, it is Josh Lucas.

Let's get him out.

He is a leading man.

Nah, you are.

He is a leading man type.

You are.

Isn't there some philosophical theory, though, that everything contains the exact opposite of it?

I think you're right.

Yeah, we could have just made Jerry O'Connell acting like a dick for two hours have been like the secret is don't do what he does maybe that could be our spinoff after we open our online broadcasting school for children who watch uh b b and c type movies that jerry o'connell has started i'm just thinking about it right now too to of meld both worlds. You are the walking secret for fantasy football to do the opposite of what you do is the greatest fantasy football strategy out there.
Oh, man. You know what it is? I always come see you guys in, like, late summer when we're just starting to do our mock drafts and everything.
That's every time I come and see you. Do you know I came and saw you last year at exactly this time? Yeah, we did a Mount Rushmore of fantasy draft positions that you'd like to be in.
Yeah. And I think it took us about 30 minutes to get it.
Have you figured that one out yet? You guys did something crazy to me. You had some sort of crazy draft that you did where you threw out random numbers, and i felt like my edibles said like just kick in when i walked in there it was really crazy yeah we no we remember i mean we have uh you actually drank out of a cup that we've actually haven't we've we've saved it since so it's just been sitting here um with your dna on it we're waiting to frame you for a crime we're no we're gonna you and then we're going to do the opposite of what your clone does and become millionaires.
By the way, Jerry, I love the secret that is out July 31st on all streaming. You can get all streaming, right? It came out in the theaters right when coronavirus hit and now you're going to be able to watch it at home.
It was going to come out in April, and then they shut down all movie theaters and everything. And now it's being released on video on demand and like Apple movies and all that stuff.
I mean, it's really interesting if that's what's going on now. You know it's it's gonna be really funny too that i'm speaking to you on the day that actually the first thing has opened in yeah in society i mean i guess i guess um in asia there's been baseball i guess mls as you guys mentioned yeah it's been opened technically it's been back but uh this is the first this is the first thing that's on my radar that's that's opening i i just like in the secret that you play a character named tucker and then it made me think of uh frank cushman kush and jerry mcguire i there's something about uh when you when you clean up you really should only play characters with like real douchebag names.
I don't know why, but it really fits you. Not that you are, but it's playing the character.
Yeah, I never really thought of... I guess Tucker does sound like a little bit of a D-bag name.
Yeah, right. You should be like a Chad.
You're kind of the perfect uh lance foil yeah i can see you being like a dustin yeah you got all that i don't know it's something about again you're a great guy we love you but i think when you uh it's it's acting really it's the it's the testament to how great you are as an actor that you're able to play uh bad guys knowing how good of a guy you are right right right. Have you ever been nominated for an Oscar, Jerry? I've never been nominated for an Oscar.
I was nominated for an MTV Movie Award. That's better.
Did you win? Yeah. We may have won.
I was in a film really amazing. We made a film.
I actually don't remember. It it's amazing little film i made a little independent uh called kangaroo jack it was about um it was about two guys who go to australia and they put a sweatshirt on a dead kangaroo and it wakes up and runs away and uh there's ten thousand dollars in the sweatshirt that the kangaroo ran away with i remember it's a good film yeah um film.
Yeah. It's really good.
You should revisit it. It's really cool.
But it was nominated. You did not win.
The film was nominated for best on-screen fart. We had an on-screen fart.
Yep. Yeah, no, no, you won.
Okay, so Kangaroo Jack, yes, you did. So you had best virtual performance Nominated MTV Movie Award.
You lost that, but you did win a Kids' Choice Award for Favorite Fart in a Movie. Oh, that's what it was.
I'm so sorry. That's what it was.
Was that you farting? Was it your actual fart or was it a sound effect? Was it a prop fart? No, it's so funny. A lot of actors say, like, just do it in post.
like just just just add it in later but i was like i'm gonna do this and we did a lot of takes and it's tough to do it over and over again i actually um i actually did shit myself in one of the takes that's why it won you were in method acting i i gotta we got we you know we're gonna watch this movie next time you come we gotta make a list because i would love to do a re-watch with you because it also had it also was nominated for

worst supporting actor and worst supporting actress neither of them being you but it was uh nominated like is that like razzie's razzie awards nominated you and stinkers bad movie awards nominated you.

Oh, man.

But you won Best Part.

That to the past, like, let me

tell you the secret dare to dream by the way have you guys ever read the secret i've not i read i read the game yep and i i assume that it's similar right to pick up artist thing isn't the secret just say what you want to be? Yeah. It's a laws of attraction thing.

I mean, it's a laws of attraction thing. I do have to say when I was working on a television show and I was loudly and vehemently complaining about my superior.
We had a boss that I just hated. and I had a co-worker and he was like,

hey man, come over to my dressing room. And I went to his dressing room and he was like, uh, you should read this.
You sound really down. And I was like, Oh no, I'm not down.
I just hate that guy. I just hate him.
And, uh, he's our boss. And it just makes me feel good to make fun of him never to to his face, like behind his back, you know.
And he went, you should read this. And he gave me the secret.
And I did thumb through it, and I found it to be very, very helpful. Can you give us like one little nugget as a tease for the movie, just to improve your life in a small dose? Oh, man.
This is the part where you guys make fun of me, though.

So, I mean, this is the part where you make fun of me.

You're supposed to, like, if you want something,

you carry a picture around of it with you,

and, like, it will help you.

Like, it'll be like a law of attraction. Is that how, like, you just carried around

a bunch of swimsuit issues back in the day,

and then eventually you married Rebecca Romijn?

So, for those listening,

I'm married to a former Sports Illustrated swimsuit

Thank you. You just carried around a bunch of swimsuit issues back in the day.
And then eventually you married Rebecca Romaine. So for those listening, I am married to a former sports illustrated swimsuit cover girl, Rebecca Romaine.
No, I got to tell you, I'm shocked that I ended up marrying and I'm with Rebecca Romaine. I have no right.
I have no money. I have no real like status in society um well no fat kid in stand by me best for man hey man you gotta stop with the fact it's not a cool term i was husky and everyone knows it if you watch it everyone knows i was not fat obviously there are fat people in and television, and I am not one of them re-watching.

I did not use the law of attraction.

I don't know how I ended up with my wife. It was not, I mean, I guess that was kind of funny.

I think you got the vibe.

Like the, hey, you can buy a Jaguar on eBay, and I'm cool with it vibe.

I do have to say, last football game in San Diego that I went to was a Raiders Chargers game. And there was a physical altercation with some Raiders fans in the stadium.
And my wife looked at me and went, I'm not coming to these games anymore. That was it.
So that was my wife learning about Raiders fans. Yeah.
Did you try to defend her? Were you in the middle of the fight? Actually, the way my wife tells the story is it happened near us, and I used her because they were throwing things. I hid behind her a little bit.
Yeah. That's right.
I don't recall that happening. Yeah.
Hank, you had something? Bob Costas does that with the picture thing what he carries around like his dream a picture of an um and he's like one day that's toast toast yes he carries on a picture of toast correct i dream that i will be able to order this perfect yeah yes that's so rude jerry, I've kind of been doing the secret unintentionally, though. I've just been telling everybody that one day I'm going to own the Washington Redskins.
I don't really have a plan to do it. But if I just say it enough, I think that the universe will make it happen.
Washington football team, that's what you're referring to. And I could see that happening.
By the way, that story came out last week. The big buildup.
It's about Snyder and everybody. I haven't read anything more about that.
So they fired everybody that was named in the article that came out. They're no longer with the team.
But Snyder, there was a big question, like how much does Snyder know? He obviously knew some of it. Is he going to be forced to sell the team? And I just think that every other owner in the league is too afraid of being implicated in situations exactly like that to set the precedent that we will fire you if this stuff happens under your watch.
So I think Snyder's going to stick around for a while, unfortunately. Jerry, this has been awesome.
We love you.

Anytime you want to come on. I love you guys, too.

I want to do the fantasy guide.

Are you going to come to New York anytime soon?

I want to do a full fantasy guide where we go through every team

and we're like, nope, can't draft them.

Or, yep, can draft him.

Take him in the first round.

So funny.

Let me tell you, man, obsessive compulsive disorder really ruins any chances you have of winning any fantasy football. Anything.
Oh, gosh. Hey, no offense to the Dallas Cowboys.
I do not take Dallas Cowboys wide receivers anymore. They have a lot of good ones.
I can't do it. I'll tell you, it's also tough not to draft Dallas Cowboys because they're on basically every Sunday or Monday night.
Anytime you're able to watch a football game, every player I draft here on the West Coast plays at 10 a.m., and then that's it. Then my week is over.
I have nothing rolling into Sunday night or Monday night. That's kind of the opposite of what I do.
I like to draft teams that I know will be in Sunday night football and Monday night football just so that I can have this bailout game where I'm like, oh yeah, if Amari Cooper scores seven touchdowns on Monday night, then I'll tie. Right, right, true.
I love it. Jerry, you're awesome.
Green Bay, just draft Packers and you'll have something to do every Sunday night. What about Jets? Would you ever draft a Jet? It's a big downfall of mine.
I'm actually a Jets fan. It's a big problem.
I mean, even when I drafted Le'Veon with my number three pick last year.

It's just – it never works out for me, man.

It just never works out for me.

I'll be watching the Jets this year.

Hopefully everyone stays COVID and mono free.

Yep, yep.

Well, Jerry, seriously, though, you're one of our favorite guests.

We appreciate it, man.

Cat, commenter, love you guys. And when Madden 21 comes out, we should do a little online head-to-head man oh you want this smoke uh yeah i think i can handle it okay all right well we'll do it we'll do it we gotta do it we gotta do it a little later at night because my effing kids are on that tiktok all day so it messes with my bandwidth okay all right we'll do it later yeah but we're in we're in that'll would love that.
See you guys. Awesome, man.
Thanks so much, Jerry. You're the best, Jerry.
Appreciate it. Miss you.
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Get your first month of swipes for just $5 when you choose their monthly plan. That's GetRoman.com slash take's get some segments first up we have team name changes or if you're the washington r words uh you're just not picking a new name i'd still like to bleep out football team until they win a football game they shouldn't be allowed to call themselves an actual football team until they get that W.
And it could take a while this year. So I don't – I guess we shouldn't be surprised anymore because last week we obviously talked about the horrendous article that came out about the Washington football team's goings-on.
And then we also – you did your top ten best moments the last 20 years, which are very bleak. But the fact that they had this much time to figure it out, they haven't figured it out, and then they did a press release and they haven't changed any of the Redskin logos off of the website or their Twitter or anything, is, it's so fucking stupid.
So what happened was, it very clearly points to the order of operations for how the name change came about this summer. Dan Snyder, yes.
I mean, he had probably 20, was it 23 years of ownership to think about this day and what it would eventually come to if he ever decided to change it. But he obviously never wanted to change until FedEx stepped in, until Pepsi and Nike stepped

in and said, we're going to take away your money. We don't want to have our products associated with your football team until you change the name because he didn't have anything ready to go at the time.
So it was very clearly a reactionary move that he pulled like three weeks ago. And he was like, OK, now it's time to appease my minority owners and the sponsors that are threatening to pull out.
So now he's stuck behind the eight ball where he has three weeks to get ready for training camp, get all the logos set up, get all the signage taken care of. And it's not enough time when you include the fact that you have to go about doing the trademark thing, getting the Twitter handles, the Instagram accounts.
So they just said, you know what, we're going to punt. And if you are the vice president of marketing for the Washington artists, formerly known as Redskins, you are so happy today.
This is like the ultimate delaying plans. And now guess what? You've got a full year to figure out.
This is like the boost. This is when you, this is like when you get your extension on your taxes.
And then you, again, six months from now we'll be in a place where like, shit, we had all that time. I actually like the helmets.
I like numbers on a helmet. People are like, oh, man, that's a college thing.
Yes, it is. But why not have one team in the NFL have it? Yeah.
It's kind of cool. I actually like that part, too.
Yeah. I wouldn't want every team to do it, but I think it's cool.
Yeah, they look okay. The uniforms look decent, but now they're just...
The colors are the same. I'm starting to talk myself into the fact...
I saw Mark Titus tweet about this, but one of my initial reactions was, I'm going to spin zone my way into loving this team name. And that's just like you have to be a candy ass to have a mascot for your team.
It's just a Washington football team. It is kind of candy ass to name your team after a bird or whatever, a bird or a fish, whatever these other teams have.
We're a football team. We play football.
We don't need any of this razzle, dazzazzle stuff. It's there in the title.
We don't need a mascot. I actually don't hate that.
I like that spin zone. And then we had the Seattle Kraken, the 32nd NHL franchise was debuted today.
So Billy's been doing a great job. He's been putting together the top 10 stories that we need to pay attention to, handing us a sheet.
He's done some editorializing on this one, and I love it. So he wrote some jokes down that we could possibly go with.
Seattle cracking the 32nd NHL team. Cracking a beer with the boys.
Yeah, I like that. And dovetailing off it, when they get a win, they should just say, like, cracking a cold one.
Yeah, cracking a cold one. The ice is cracking.
That's probably a bad thing. You don't want that.
It's soupy. Yeah, there's some Zamboni technician who's like, goddammit, Billy.
What's cracking? I like that, too. That's kind of cool.
And then the great one, the fans want to be called crackheads. And then he also put in, Brandon Walker tweeted this, but it's not his original idea.
Okay, so that's not

from Brandon Walker.

Yeah.

Stolen idea.

I don't...

I like it.

I like their logo that they have.

I don't know.

Their logos are pretty sick.

I guess I can buy into it.

They've got the anchor

with the space needle

as the top of the anchor in there.

I kind of wanted it to be the seals

because I wanted a fucking

cute little seal mascot.

They don't care about animals.

I do not care about nature taking care of itself. Fact.
What about Rain City Jacks? It was right there. It was.
It was there for the taking. Or the semen.
The logo's cool. So it's an octopus? What's behind it? It's a kraken.
So a kraken is a mythological creature. Actually, Billy was very excited to explain what a kraken is.
So this whole cryptozoology thing is right up your alley. It's a giant squid.
Giant squid used to be a lot more populous in the oceans due to environmental change that are not so much anymore. But sometimes they wash up on the shore.
So in ancient semen, when they were out, they'd see the squids rise to the surface. Keep it together.
And they'd be like thing is it a giant squid that's gonna kill us i'm also pretty sure it was like a mythological creature too no no that looked like it so are they gonna be throwing squid on the ice that would they have to yeah throw squid like like like the uh red wings you think they're gonna do that probably i think how expensive is squid? That's pretty cheap. Could you sneak it into

an arena? Yeah, you could, not a giant

one. That would take, you'd have to

really do some work to wrap

up a giant squid in like a 54 newspaper.

Wait, are squid the same as octopus?

No, they're different. Oh wait, so Red Wings

throw octopus, but I thought they were the same.

I thought squids were just smaller octopus.

Squid is calamari, so Hank would

eat an octopus, but he wouldn't eat a kraken. A squid has got a cone head and an octopus has got a ball head.
Are they cousins? Yeah. Cephalopods.
There we go, Billy. I thought that a great name would be the Seattle Sirens.
Because you've got the gold siren, then you could have Courtney Love just up in the corner just trying to lure people to date her. Yeah.
Yeah. Okay.
Yeah. I mean, I just like cute mascots, you know.

Seals would have been cool.

Seals would be good.

Seattle sea lions.

Mm-hmm.

Sea lions are cuter than seals embrace the bait.

Yeah, because they have the whiskers, right?

No, they both have whiskers.

Sea lions have ears.

Ah.

Seals don't?

No.

But there's way more.

You've got to think about the worst-case scenario.

If the seals are getting smoked, there's a lot of videos of animals and sharks just fucking seals up. All the cracking videos and stuff out there from Pirates of the Caribbean and movies where these giant-ass squids just come and fuck everything up.
That's a good point, actually, because there would be a lot of that violent seal-clubbing stuff going around. Right.
Nobody wants to see that. Right, like live look at the seals, and it's just's just a shark coming it would be like when the dolphins lose and we do a yeah good point good point good point yeah you can't make fun of it there was the even the um the barstool main account did a video of a bear getting tossed like uh food and the throws were terrible it's like live look at the Bears receivers getting a pass from Trubisky.

You can even do it with that type of football. So Kraken don't exist.

There's no footage.

It's trash.

I don't think so.

I disagree.

Before we do our Mount Rushmore,

we had Christian Pulisic

and that was talking soccer.

Talking soccer.

Oh yeah, and MLS added the 30th team know i fought with mls weirdos all day some good fucking analysis that was uh yeah the austin austin no charlotte was the announced team today yeah and i just fought with like like i don't understand how they can keep adding teams there is just a ponzi scheme yes the owners. Yeah, you pay the existing owners, and it's like, isn't the problem right now that there's not enough talent to keep up this league? Well, Big Cat's funny.
You just keep adding teams? It's funny that you mention that, because I'm squatting on a take right now, and that is getting mad at Christian Pulisic for not playing in the MLS. If he truly cared about American soccer, he would be over here.

And he will when he's like 40.

Yeah, maybe even older than that.

Like when he's got one leg, he'll be back there. And Hershey, Pennsylvania has a fucking team.

Yep.

The 75th franchise in MLS in the last 20 years.

I can't wait for the first soccer writer to actually come out with that take that Pulisic

is wasting his talent by playing overseas instead of encouraging little Billy and little Sarah growing up right now to play soccer in America. You got more people who are becoming Chelsea fans than they are Charlotte FC.
Charlotte? I think they're just all FCs. They're not logo, but their abbreviation is just CLT, which is nice.
Click, click, click. I will say that Miami team, those jerseys are sick.
Well, anything Miami, really. Yeah, I don't know why they don't use pink more in jerseys.
Like, you know, like maybe the seams, but those are fucking awesome jerseys. Yeah, I mean, the NFL does during October.
That's true. That's true.
And they pretty much stopped cancer that month. They defeated breast cancer, yes.
All right, finally, Mount Rushmore. We're going to do the Mount Rushmore of PLL players.

Reminder, PLL is back 4 o'clock on Saturday, 4 o'clock on Sunday.

The Water Dogs are playing.

Tune in.

We're very excited.

Our good friend Paul Rabel, he's back.

So let's do it.

Paul Rabel, by the way, good friend of the show.

I think next year he, Julian Edelman, is going to have some competition for Thirst Trap of the Year. Paul Rabel's Thirst Trapper.
Is he doing it? He likes to take his shirt off when he's in the field, whip snaking it around. Not a bad thing.
I would too if I were Paul, but I'm just saying he's an up-and-comer when it comes to the Th trap community. All right.
Should we start with Billy and go that way?

This way?

Yeah.

I like having Billy at the end because that way me and you don't get lost in it.

Someone pointed out that we never do snake drafts correctly until Billy showed up,

and now we do them correctly every time.

Yeah, he's our snake charmer.

You're welcome.

All right.

So it's going to go Billy, me, PFT, Hank, and then back.

Okay.

I'm going to start with Steve DiNapoli. Okay.
Interesting. The Italian restaurant.
Yeah. That's an interesting one.
It does remind me of like a frozen pizza. Okay, that is an interesting one because I didn't even have him highlighted.
Yeah, me neither. I'll go with my easy number one, Tucker Durkin.
Love that name. That is lacrosse through and through.

Tucker Durkin.

That's a steal right there.

Tuck, baby.

Tuck.

Good job, Chicago guy, making a good second pick.

Second pick.

Yeah, I traded up for it.

What was the thought process of you doing, Steve Dean?

Oh, you have...

You're going to all Italian?

Okay, so Billy's going to go all Italian, so I might have to fuck him up.

Yeah, go get him.

Get him.

Get him.

Get him.

My first pick, this one was very clearly the second best one, Blaze Reardon, and it's spelled Reardon, but it's Blaze. His first name is actually Blaze.
Yes. Jake, did you call any of his games in college? Not him.
I know he went to UAlbany, but there's a good amount on this list that I have. Oh, wow.
UAlbany. You pulled that out.
I love the fact that a baby came out and his dad was definitely a lacrosse guy and was like, this kid's name Blaze. Wait, how do you spell Blaze? I can't see it on the sheet.
B-L-A-Z-E. Perfect.
I'm stunned. I'm actually stunned that this one made it this far.
Oh, wow. Well, Billy was a trash first pick.
Cade Van Raphorst. Yeah, that one's good.
I had him. I had him, Hank.

I had him.

That's good.

And then I'll go with, I mean, there's a lot of good ones, and I'm worried about not getting

any of these on the way back, but I'll go with Gunnar Walt.

That's a good one.

Also had him.

So many of these names lend themselves to, literally translates to.

I mean, there's one that's, there's one that's like, I'll just say it right now because I

want to hear it.

BJ Grill.

Oh, but I was going to pick that.

I'm going to say Billy's Cooking, because it sucks.

He's meat that sucks.

He's a... I'll just say it right now because I want to hear it.
BJ Grill. Oh, but I was going to pick that.
I'm going to say Billy's Cooking because it sucks.

He's meat that sucks.

He is on the Water Dogs.

Gunnar Walt, I would say Breaking Bad series finale.

That literally translates there.

No, it's not your turn.

Yeah, Hank just took him.

You took Gunnar, right?

Yeah.

Good pick.

I'm going to go with Brody Merrill.

Just Brody.

Blaze and Brody.

Those two, those are like, those are the Bash brothers of the new generation.

Yep.

Those are the TikTok Bash brothers.

Okay.

Let's see.

Let's see.

There's some good ones here.

Fuck.

Damn.

I really want to, knowing that, ah, fuck. There's some good ones.
There's some good ones. I'll go with another lacrosse special.
I'll go with Ryder Garnsey. And it's a good name for just, like, nicknames.
Anything that's E-Y or E-R. He's a hockey or lacrosse player.
Garnsey. Ryder, though, with a Y.
Ride or die. Yep.
Jerry Ragonese. Okay.
You're doing all fancy fuckboys. Yeah.
I think it's more guidos play lacrosse than you think. You can't say canceled again.

Italian lacrosse.

We'll have a new art that we'll put up shows since Billy's been canceled back to zero.

What's wrong with Guido?

All right, Billy.

It's a good pick, though.

Another pick.

I like where your mind's at.

I'm going to go with Chris Chuchinillo. Okay.
That sounds like a dessert. Okay.
I will now go. I'll go with Tyler Pfister.
Good pick. Ty.
Tyler Pfister. You know that the boys at UVA had some funny fucking jokes about that name.
Tyler Pfister. Can I do a little translates with him? Yeah, go for it.
She's just having a little sex, bro. She's going to call you back.
No worries. There you go.
Perfect. Perfect.
If you know, you know. Fuck.
That's a good pick. My next one, I'm going to go with Larkin Kemp.
Yep, I had him highlighted as well.

I feel like that's a good one.

I've never heard Larkin as a first name before.

I will go with Troy Reh.

Yes.

What up, Reh?

Yep.

And Callum Robinson.

I don't even have him.

Oh, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's a good one.

Yeah, Callum.

Callum is his...

What is that name?

Yeah.

It's as lax as it gets. Yeah.
All right. A lot of pressure here for my last one.
Brad Self. Brad Self.
Brad Self. I just like Brad Self.
You have to have a Chad or a Brad. Yeah.
Literally translates to... I don't know.
I don't have a good one for that one. It's the top of my head.
All right. I'll go...
All right. My last one then.
There's a lot of good ones. Should we go five rounds? Yeah.
All right. So we'll come back.
I'll go with. That changes everything.
Well, there's a lot left. Yeah.
I'll go with two at the end. Yeah.
I'll go with Brett Queener. I like that name.
He also probably. It was probably a tough time when he was a freshman at Duke, being like, Queen or...
You had to transfer to Johns Hopkins. Brett Queen or...
Okay. JoJo Marasco.
That's a good one, Billy. That's a good one.
And then we go with Matt Rambo. Yep.
That's also a good one. He's the GOAT.
Yeah, he is the GOAT, right? Yeah. Matt Rambo.
Okay. Beast Midi.
All right. I'll go with...
I like this name. This name is not really lacrosse, but if you see it, Billy's printing is terrible.
So you always have to check the fine print. Oh, I didn't see that one.
Brent Noseworthy. Brent Noseworthy.
That's good.

Fuck, that's really good. Yeah, I knew

Billy's printer just sucks. Whatever he

does, he can't print everything on his page.

I was like, what is that? Oh, it's Brent

Noseworthy? Okay.

Alright, I'm down to

two here.

I'm gonna go... These names are so good.
Brent Noseworthy

is fucking awesome.

I will go with Deemer Class. Okay.
That's him. Yeah.
Great name. Yep.
All right. Hank, your last pick.
Someone did Brody Merrill, right? No. Yeah.
I got blazing Brody. Yeah.
That's right. I feel like this is just a lacrosse.
I feel like this is like a lacrosse namesake. Like if there was a Mount Rushmore of lacrosse, someone named Danowski would be on it.
So I'll go with Matt Danowski. Yeah, that's a good 80s movie villain.
He's the son of a coach. The Duke coach.
Yeah, Danowski is just a – when you think lacrosse, you think Danowski. Danowski.
The Duke coach. That's probably why.
All right, so what are the ones we had? I still had – Fantasy Fuckboys, Sergio Salcido. Yeah, I love the name – for some reason, I love the name Brad Smith

just because it seems like a blue check mark would be like,

oh, you know, Brad Smith listening to Barstool Sports.

Like they can't think of anything.

Like Brad Smith got him.

I liked Bryce Young.

Bryce is a good name.

Mike Channingchuck. Ooh, yes.
Jordan Wolfe, too. Last name Wolfe is fucking sick.
Ty Warner. Yep.
No one had BJ Grill. No one picked BJ Grill.
Kyler Ballestri. We said Kyler, right? Yeah, yeah.
I also had, there's two Notre Dame quarterbacks, Tommy Kelly and Connor Kelly. Those guys definitely, they come in for like two games and they suck.

And everyone's like, oh, Notre Dame's not good anymore. Chris Sabia probably had some bully problems back in the day as well.

Was he a third baseman on the Reds?

Oh, Tim.

Tim Troutner.

Tim Troutner.

Jackson Place.

Johnny Serdick.

Garrett Epple.

Jules Henningberg. His names Jack Concanon Max Tuttle Grayson Terrain Paul Rabel Joe Lacaschio That's good We should just start doing fantasy fuckboys off Should we switch Fantasy fuckboys To just Lacrosse Or lacrosse Just come up with New Long Island Lacrosse players Yeah Yeah Trevor Baptiste Oh here's a good Literally translates Oh he's sick From Denver Yeah Will House Literally translates To funeral home Or Or Billy eats steak.
Yeah.

Joey Sankey.

That sounds like he's got dangles.

Yeah. He definitely has that.

Mad dangles.

Yeah, boys.

Mad dangles.

Mad dangles.

All right.

That is our show.

It is?

Yeah.

That's our show.

Brent knows where.

We'll see everyone on Monday.

Very excited for Monday's show.

Yeah, Monday's show is going to be a big one. I love you guys.
Billy, take us out. Hey, guys.
I wonder what you guys are up to today. You didn't prepare anything.
I didn't prepare anything. But I do have a lot on my mind I can talk about.
Tomorrow, I'm going to be finishing my chicken coop. It's my buddy's birthday.
Shout out, Rooney. Happy birthday.
Oh, no, Fauci. What? It's a tough, tough throw.
Can you bounce it? Why is he throwing already? He's in the game. No.
Can you bounce it? Oh man, no one's going to wear masks. Just kidding.
Anyway, have a good one. Would you say that he flat on his curve? Oh, go follow.
Go follow.

Nope.

Go follow.

No, no, no.

Go follow Big Dumpers on Instagram.

Big underscore dumpers.

Please send me all your dump trucks pics.

Not me personally in the account.

Big underscore dumpers.

B-I-G underscore D-U-M-P-E-R-S.

Vanny is still for sale.

Love you guys. Thank you.
We'll see you next time. Take me off.
Oh, yeah. Thank you.
Dream on me. Thank you.