Jerry O'Connell, Baseball Is Back, Mt Rushmore Of PLL Names

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Speaker 1 On today's part of my take, sports are back.

Speaker 1 Sort of.

Speaker 1 We got a rain delay in the Nats Yankees game.

Speaker 1 We have Jerry O'Connell on the show, one of our favorite recurring guests. Always a good time.
We have,

Speaker 1 let's see, Fire Fest of the Week. Yes, a Mount Rushmore of PLL La Crosse

Speaker 1 names. Awesome Mount Rushmore.
PLL is coming back on Saturday and Sunday. What else do we have? Oh, baseball changed all their rules right before the first pitch.
We have it all.

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Speaker 1 It's Pardon My Take presented by Bar Stool Sports. Welcome to Part of My Take presented by the Cash App.
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Speaker 1 Today is Friday, July 24th. Doesn't matter.
Sports are back. Sports are back big time.
We had opening night tonight.

Speaker 1 My dad did not trick me into going to a game and then psyching me out, but I did get psyched out by the weather. The weather has psyched us out.
The Nats are officially 0-1. Starting.

Speaker 1 Wait, it was final, right? Yes. It was final because it went five or it went five and a half full innings.
So let me ask you a question, PFT. The biggest story outside of Dr.

Speaker 1 Fauci's first pitch, woof, garbage. But you know what?

Speaker 1 Let's take a sidebar and walk down this conversation. I actually think first pitches

Speaker 1 either be terrible or be incredible. I don't think Dr.
Fauci had incredible in him. Might as well just go terrible.
So, like, if you're in the middle, no one remembers. Well, he shot-putted it.

Speaker 1 That was a mistake. He had bad form.
But it was almost good how bad it was. If you're throwing out a first pitch, you just have to get it inside the home plate circle, the dirt part around home plate.

Speaker 1 I'm not talking about the batter's box. I'm talking about just that.
It's probably, what, like 15 feet, 17 feet wide. Just roll it in there.
If you bounce it, that's fine, I guess. He's an older guy.

Speaker 1 What is he, like 75? I think he's like 80. 80? Oh, he must be.
Yeah, so

Speaker 1 it would actually be concerning to me if Dr. Fauci went out there and grooved one like 90 miles an hour.
Yes. Right down the pipe.
That would be like...

Speaker 1 I don't know if I want this guy leading my response to infectious disease.

Speaker 1 So I tweeted out a Groundhog's Day joke that we had, because of the bad throw, we had six more months of coronavirus. And then my mentions just became a debate about masks.
So that was fun.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's funny. I turned my phone.

Speaker 1 Actually, thank God the iPhone is playing tricks on us because it overheated and I just threw it into the fucking East River. I was like, done for the night.
The take was a little too spicy.

Speaker 1 Now, in a sick, sick way.

Speaker 1 It was kind of nice to have my first bad beat of the year. Yeah.
Because

Speaker 1 I missed missing on a gambling bet. So I had three bets tonight.
I had Aaron Judge to get a ground out or a pop fly in his second bat, whiffed on that. I had the over, and that's what fucked me.

Speaker 1 The rain fucked me. I might actually, I said that

Speaker 1 I was going to convert to Satanism if they didn't play this game because God was playing a cruel trick. God heard me and played a double trick on me and said, guess what?

Speaker 1 We'll give you a game, but I'm also going to give you a bad beat. But then again, in a way, it just felt good to feel something again.
Yes. and and what i was gonna say to start the show uh five

Speaker 1 or no uh five in that five innings pitched for garrett cole five innings pitched one hit one earned run

Speaker 1 just the home run just the home run

Speaker 1 pinstripes is it time pinstripes i i will say that i think the pinstripes have been

Speaker 1 devalued a little bit because they've got that nike swoosh on there now it's not as pure as it was i think that this is a a new era this is pinstripes 2.0 I also saw ESPN had an article today because Yankee fans get very mad when we mock the pinstripes, but then they are willingly, you know, like ready to get into debate about it because they mean something.

Speaker 1 ESPN had a totally serious headline, The Power of Pinstripes, how Garrett Cole bought into becoming a Yankee.

Speaker 1 Garrett Cole is a Yankee fan for his entire life, so

Speaker 1 he has now got his pinstripes officially given by me. Now, I can take them away, but I have given them to him now.
It feels like it's a little early to get

Speaker 1 premature.

Speaker 1 Want me to read that line for you again? Five innings pitched. One earned run, one hit.
So complete game. Complete game,

Speaker 1 not shutout, but close to it. As close to a shutout as you can get.

Speaker 1 So let's embrace debate on the aspect of the empty stadiums because the Dodgers stadium, they had the cutouts behind home plate, and D.C. was just empty seats behind there.

Speaker 1 I like the idea of the cutouts mostly because I'm just waiting for a line drive foul ball to take one of the heads off the cutouts. Yes.

Speaker 1 That's going to be a cool moment when it happens for the first time. Yes.
And everyone will be like, like, oh, that's why we need nets. They actually should take away the nets, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Just see if they can just target practice. No nets.

Speaker 1 Why not? Yeah. Yeah.
Show everyone how dangerous it would be without nets. Now's your chance.
Remove all the nets. That would be fun.
All right. So baseball's back.

Speaker 1 We had our first result.

Speaker 1 I think full opening day. Every team's playing tomorrow.
I still don't understand why the Cubs are playing. a night game at Wrigley when they should just play in the afternoon.

Speaker 1 Everyone should be playing in the afternoon. It should be spaced out all the time.
Yeah, you should

Speaker 1 back to us the way that hockey's doing it. They have their schedule right where it's just like you're going to sit down on your couch for 12 hours and there's going to be hockey on the whole time.

Speaker 1 It's like the NCAA tournament all the time. We missed those, what, eight? It's probably eight days where it's like back-to-back-to-back-to-back games, right? Right.

Speaker 1 We missed that part of our sports life this year. Give it back to us in the form of baseball, hockey, and NBA.
Yes, and then so the only other story we had before we get to

Speaker 1 Fire Fest is our

Speaker 1 future good friend,

Speaker 1 Mark Davis.

Speaker 1 When commenting about what he does when he's hurt, so it was in context. Mark Davis was hurt when the NFL chose the Rams and Chargers over the Raiders to move to L.A.

Speaker 1 Briefly. He said, I have lost games before.
That's how I live my life. You lose on Sunday, you're pissed.
You go to P.F. Chang's on Monday, have lunch, and then you're on to the next week.

Speaker 1 There you go. Boom.
Keep it moving. Just keep it moving.

Speaker 1 Is he Buddha? Get a rebound game. Yeah, some people choose to get over things by meditating under a tree for seven days.

Speaker 1 Some people, like Sean Payton, choose to get over things by game planning for a game that they're not going to play. Mark Davis just chooses to go have a sensible lunch at an affordable price.
Yes.

Speaker 1 I think Mark Davis also, I would love to talk to him. I mean, my dream interview at this point is to interview Mark Davis at a P.F.
Chang's.

Speaker 1 Like, just put the microphone on the table and not just let it ride. You know what I mean? Like, don't do any actual question.
Just let it it ride. Like,

Speaker 1 it's basically like Planet Earth when they go to the Amazon and they find

Speaker 1 the toad that no one has ever seen before. This would be finding Mark Davis in his natural habitat of P.F.
Changs and just watching him. It'd be wonderful to do.
I would change my name instead of PFF.

Speaker 1 It would be P.F. Changs Commenter.
Yes. That I would change it to.
Sorry, Chris Collinsworth. That easy.
It'd be wonderful. I think just sitting down with him, I don't even want to talk sports.

Speaker 1 I don't want to talk Raiders. No.
I just want him to guide us through the menu like a tour guide at Disney World on one of those boats that they take down the river. Do you think he has a punch card?

Speaker 1 I bet you he does. I think he has.

Speaker 1 Buy 10 Mongolian beef, get one free. Whatever the equivalent of the P.F.
Cheng's black card is. Yes.
He might have made it himself, but he has one.

Speaker 1 And he definitely has a waiter and waitress that he just like, he's like, no, no, no. Like, these are my people.
Yeah, just wings, baby. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Mark Davis.

Speaker 1 What an interesting, interesting man. How often do you think he gets his haircut?

Speaker 1 He seems like a guy that does it once a week, same day, same barber. Well, so I was...
Or he might do it himself every morning. I was on DVE in Pittsburgh this morning, which we alternate weeks.

Speaker 1 We love those guys.

Speaker 1 I can't remember. I think it might have been Randy.
He said that

Speaker 1 he might get his haircut at P.F. Changs, which would kind of explain everything, right? Like he...
Changs and banks, and he just goes there and he gets his haircut.

Speaker 1 And that's why it's so bad, because they're like, Mr. Davis, you know we don't cut hair.

Speaker 1 He's like, no, cut my hair and so they're forced like some some guy from the back of the kitchen is forced to come out and cut his hair and he just he just won't take no for an answer he's like no this is my lunch and barbershop yeah with like do it one of those giant knives that they use in the kitchen they just slice a

Speaker 1 straight line of colour like we don't we really don't know how to do this like shut up cut my hair that's also probably the only time of the week that he can eat while not being afraid of spilling something all over his white tracksuit.

Speaker 1 So they'll put like a little apron in front of him while he gets his hair cut and he can eat while he's doing it. Yes.
So, Mark Davis, what a gem.

Speaker 1 Okay, before we get to Fire Fest Week, one last announcement. Next week, next week,

Speaker 1 it's going to be Grit Week. We're going to do it a little bit differently this year because obviously we can't travel anywhere.
No places would have us.

Speaker 1 Regardless of the coronavirus, they just don't want to do

Speaker 1 smelly bodies. So, yeah, it's going to be a little different, but Grit Week next week is going to be fantastic.
We have actually an unbelievable interview already lined up for Monday.

Speaker 1 And then on Wednesday night, I think it's going to start about 5 o'clock. We'll let you know the exact time.

Speaker 1 From Wednesday around 5 o'clock to Thursday at 5 o'clock, part of my take is going to do a 24-hour Twitch stream. The grittiest stream you've ever seen.
We're not going to get off.

Speaker 1 We have a treadmill coming. We have games.

Speaker 1 I think, PFT, you're going to drink a beer every hour? I'm going to try to drink a beer every hour. Eat a hot dog every hour.
Liz it up. Raising money for charity.

Speaker 1 We're going to raise money for a children's hospital. It's going to be awesome.
What's grittier than just staying up with your bros for 24 hours and getting loopy as fuck?

Speaker 1 And then at the end of it, we're going to tape Thursday's show. Yeah, and that will be a very interesting.
Very interesting.

Speaker 1 And so we timed it out so that we're going to end the grit week stream right when basketball starts. Right.
The official games start.

Speaker 1 At first, that sounded like a great idea to me, but then I realized... I'm going to have to watch basketball games at the end of the day.
There's no chance for the stay up.

Speaker 1 We're just going to fall asleep during the games, and that's fine.

Speaker 1 I'll get a little taste of the Tony Kornheiser life and find out about it tomorrow morning in the paper but it's going to be fun i'd like to get a little uh like uh from that show 24 i'd like to get a little ticker in that style in the bottom of the screen yeah you guys know exactly how much time has passed maybe we can save the president or something it's going to be great uh so get excited 24-hour stream coming on Wednesday night starting around five o'clock like I said uh we got a bunch of things planned guests everything we're gonna get some shit trending on Twitter we have a lot of things planned so get excited grit week coming next week.

Speaker 1 Okay, before we get to our fire fest of the week. Hey, it's PFT here, reminding you that Boarshead makes game day entertaining elevated and effortless.

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Okay, Fire Fest of the Week, Hank.

Speaker 4 My Fire Fest of the Week is that

Speaker 4 because of Corona, it's my girlfriend's birthday on Sunday, and I obviously

Speaker 1 have a little bit longer.

Speaker 4 You know, presents, I push it off, push it off, push it off.

Speaker 4 Ordered some stuff, and then Corona, they're like, you know, shipping might take longer than usual, and I'm 50-50 on if this gift will be here.

Speaker 1 This is smart head because you're getting ahead of it and you're saying, oh, yeah, the thing that I ordered today,

Speaker 1 well, it turns out it's only not going to be here in time because of Corona. Also, in defense of you, coronavirus has been a thing for like only four months.
So you definitely didn't see that coming.

Speaker 4 Well, that's my fine. My Fire Fest is, yeah, I just,

Speaker 4 I failed to think about the fact that, you know, coronavirus was still going on and shipping was going to be delayed and all that stuff. And it's really a procrastination thing.

Speaker 4 It's the shipping thing.

Speaker 1 Right. It's the shipping.
I remember when I.

Speaker 4 My firefest is myself.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I remember when I first realized shipping was late for coronavirus. I was riding my dinosaur while I was doing that.

Speaker 4 I mean, don't sit here and act like Future Cat doesn't do this stuff all the time.

Speaker 1 Listen, I do it, but I remember like March was when we're like, fuck, everything's going to take a month to get here.

Speaker 1 Okay. What sort of items did you purchase that are being delayed by shipping? Is it like toilet paper? You got her a ton of toilet paper.

Speaker 1 Sorry, it's backward until December. Yeah, aluminum.
It's out. We're out of aluminum.
Lorox.

Speaker 1 What'd you get her?

Speaker 4 Don't worry about it.

Speaker 1 We'll bleep it out.

Speaker 4 I got her some Harry Styles merch.

Speaker 4 Nice. I'm not going to give it away on the show.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Some cash?

Speaker 4 I did not get her cash.

Speaker 1 You could get her cash there.

Speaker 1 Shipping, yeah. You could also just cash app her.
Cash apper, that's zero seconds of shipping.

Speaker 4 That's true. But so yeah, I'm just a little nervous.
I'm hoping today, Friday, that everything shows up, but I'm nervous.

Speaker 1 Well, mentioning it here will get you out of the doghouse.

Speaker 1 You ordered it a long time ago. Listen, Listen, Hank, I'm going to give you a little tip.
Now that you are a dog father,

Speaker 1 anytime there is any fight or issue at home, you can just be like, look at the dog. He's so cute.

Speaker 1 Great, great way to defuse situations.

Speaker 1 You know what you should do? You should just tie a bow around Normie. Yeah.
Be like, happy birthday. That's just going to be cute.
You can't be mad at that no matter what.

Speaker 1 Oh, you should get a dog shirt. You could probably get a dog shirt.

Speaker 4 Say the dog ate it.

Speaker 1 The dog ate your best.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, you should hit up our t-shirt guy and get a shirt for Normie that says, I have the best mom in the world. Boom.
Solved. He'll get that to you on Saturday.
There you go. Problem solver.

Speaker 1 That's a problem solver. Boom.
So we're recording this after the Nats game, so I don't know if there's going to be my Fire Fest or not. If the Nats game is delayed, My Fire Fest is literally a

Speaker 1 festival. Yeah, we're recording this after.
No, we're recording this right now. We're recording this before the Nats game, so we don't know.

Speaker 1 We don't know, but my fire fest would be literally a fire fest if it gets delayed because I said that I convert to Satanism if God spites me and spites all of us for our patience during Corona and doesn't give us opening night.

Speaker 1 So, you gotta, you got a job waiting for you at Wayfair. I feel like, yeah, there you go.
And I feel like being in hell, if I'm gonna be a Satanist, that's gonna be great.

Speaker 1 Like, you'd rather be Satan's right-hand guy than be a guy that gets punished, right? So, I'm spinzoning myself into that already.

Speaker 1 I don't know what converting to Satanism entails, but I'm sure it's kind of like getting

Speaker 1 ordained online.

Speaker 1 I have to buy a cabinet on Wayfair. You're going to become an Ellen Super fan.

Speaker 1 Well, done already. A super duper fan.
Watch Tom Hanks movies. Yeah.
Yeah. Buy a few typewriters.

Speaker 1 But my other Fire Fest of the week, my real one, is that my neighbor came up and rang on my door last night. So I was cooking dinner.
She buzzed my door, and she was very nervous to talk to me.

Speaker 1 And I didn't know why she was so nervous. And she said, you keep very late nights.
I was like, well, no, I'm usually in bed between 11 and 1 every night.

Speaker 1 I've actually got this whoop app that tells me when I go to sleep. Nice.
So I know that I'm not up at like 3 or 4 in the morning.

Speaker 1 She's like, no, 3 or 4 in the morning, I hear pounding every night on my bedroom ceiling. In your bedroom, you're making a lot of noise at night.
Congrats. And yeah, well, I'm dumb.

Speaker 1 And I didn't realize that she was saying you need to stop fucking at 3 o'clock in the morning. What I told her was, Leroy just, he walks around heavily.
I thought maybe that's what the issue was.

Speaker 1 I figured out what it was. Leroy, in his old age, has started to kick violently in his sleep.
Yeah. And when he kicks, he doesn't realize what he's kicking.
And he's knocked over nightstands.

Speaker 1 He kicks the bed sometimes. And so she thought that she was coming up to confront me about my fucking.
I should have just rolled with that and been like, Yeah, you know what?

Speaker 1 I'm having a lot of sex late at night. Sorry, I'll try to tone that down in the future.
But I'm dumb, and I just, oh, it was Leroy walking around.

Speaker 1 But the bottom line is now Leroy is going to be kicking in the middle of the night, and my neighbor's going to think that I'm fucking.

Speaker 1 fucking and did you say Leroy to her yeah and I'm just thinking it's Leroy no because even after I said that to her she was like no it's it's not a dog walking around it's not somebody walking around it's banging it's banging I was like well it's got to be Leroy walking but the thing is she's going to think that I'm fucking again and I'm not going to be fucking well you know what fuck her if she wants come on over at three in the morning yeah door's always open yeah I'll just leave a tie hanging on my main apartment door sorry the dog sorry the dog gets his wind sprints in in the middle of the night but it sucks to be accused of fucking too loudly when you're just asleep.

Speaker 1 I wish at least I was fucking. I think that's a good thing because it's like everyone's, she's going to be like, holy shit, this guy, look at him.
You know? Yeah. Three in the morning.

Speaker 1 Look at this stud. Wow.

Speaker 1 Look at this ramrod going to town. Piston shafted.
Yeah. I don't know.
I'd rather be fucking if I'm going to get in trouble for fucking. Yeah, I mean,

Speaker 1 there's definitely some truth in that, but I think you're kind of the badass in the building now. I guess so.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 She's got to watch out because you're going to... Three in the morning.

Speaker 1 But in truth, it's just my dog knocking over my nightstand.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Which she should. You should have just showed her Leroy.
You should have been like, you want to see a video of him kicking? Well, I didn't think of that at the time.

Speaker 1 I didn't know what she was talking about. So I was like, maybe it's my dog walking around.

Speaker 1 In retrospect, yeah, I should just answer the door with a video of Leroy. She's like, yep, this is him.
Yeah, I'll be like, here, let me show you a video of what you're actually hearing.

Speaker 1 She'll be like, no, no, don't see that. All right, my Fire Fest is Mike Tyson is back.
He's going to fight Roy Jones Jr. in September.
And

Speaker 1 yeah, I'm going to get excited for this fight. I'm going to buy this fight.
I assume it's on pay-per-view. What Jake Paul's fighting? Nate Robinson.
Is that right? Yep. Underguard.

Speaker 1 Who the fuck cares about that? I do. Mike Tyson, I don't.
I want to see his ass beat.

Speaker 1 Jake Paul's a fucking beast, dude. I want to see him get beat up by Nate Robinson.
Yeah, but Jake Paul is a beast. No, he's not.

Speaker 1 He was

Speaker 1 Ohio.

Speaker 1 His brother wasn't. That's his older brother.
Yeah. He wasn't as well? No.
No, we're saying we're in the local ball. Jake Paul steroids and not Billy.

Speaker 1 Oh, 100%. 100% steroid.
100%. Either way, I'm going to buy this fight, and Mike Tyson is going.
Mike Tyson and Roy Jones are not going to want to knock each other out.

Speaker 1 They're not even going to be able to punch like they are going to want to knock each other out.

Speaker 1 And it's very much similar to everything that happened at the end of Mike Tyson's career when I would buy every single pay-per-view and be like, oh, my God, just one punch and he's back to being Mike Tyson.

Speaker 1 And he's the ultimate. Oh, my gosh, one punch and you're out.
It's going to suck. Sadder than the Kimbo Slice Dada 3000 fight? That one was funny.
5,000. 5%.

Speaker 1 the same. I think he's upgraded.
He's good with the Gluck Luck sometimes. He's upgraded.
That's been upgraded too. I think it's 9,000.

Speaker 1 Holy shit.

Speaker 1 You got to get your numbers right. You never were good at Matt.
No, definitely not. But yeah,

Speaker 1 this is going to, without a question, suck. And I'm going to get so excited for it.
I mean, so, so excited.

Speaker 1 I think everybody's going to watch Mike Tyson

Speaker 1 for sure. Because there is the possibility that

Speaker 1 one punch

Speaker 1 lights out. Yeah.
All right, Billy, your Fire Fest. I got picked last in a competitive event for the first time in my life, and it was really humbling.
But it was video games, nurturing.

Speaker 1 I know, I know, but I started to care about video games lately, and it's kind of really affected myself. No, dude, that's your problem.
You just never care about anything. Okay.

Speaker 1 But, yeah. Who picked you last? White Socks Dave.
Oh, that's tough. That's tough.
Yeah. When the guy who should be picked last picks you last, that's always a real stagger in the heart.

Speaker 1 White Sock Stave has, I've said it many times before. He has a genius strain in his body where he could be the best Fortnite player of all time just out of nowhere.
I'd be like, what?

Speaker 1 How'd that happen? And to be fair, I went on the dog walk last week and we did a draft and he had by far the worst draft out of all of us.

Speaker 1 So in a way, him picking you last means that he should have picked a draft. He should have picked you up.
Although, if you picked him last, that means it really wasn't White Sox Dave's pick.

Speaker 1 It was everyone else's last. Oh, yeah, then everyone else passed.
Okay, here's what you just change your number to however many teams there are, and that's how many teams passed on you.

Speaker 1 Can I ask a question, Billy?

Speaker 1 Was anyone else in this room in the draft? Yes. And they didn't pick you? Nope.
Wow.

Speaker 1 So who was that? No,

Speaker 1 Liam, you weren't in that, were you? No.

Speaker 1 Jake? Was it you, Big Cat? I wasn't. No, I wasn't.
Well, Billy, so during the day, Billy, someone sent me the clip.

Speaker 4 I don't think Billy expected me to see this, but he was playing with his friends and he was like, someone was like, oh, you know, Hank's gotten a lot better.

Speaker 4 And Billy was like, I'm better than Hank now.

Speaker 1 No, no, no. And they were like, and they were like, they were like, have you said that?

Speaker 4 Have you said that to him? And Billy was like, not to his face. And then someone sent me the clip.
So I don't think Billy was expecting me to see it.

Speaker 4 So I kind of, I kind of was like a little bit mad at him and was like, that's fair. And then we destroyed his team.
So

Speaker 1 I made the right decision. The exact quote was:

Speaker 1 I think I'm getting close to the point where I'm going to eclipse Hank's skill. That doesn't sound like

Speaker 1 we'll put the clip in there. Yeah, I think you're getting close doesn't sound like something you would say.
That was way too measured for what the actual clip was of you. No, no, no.

Speaker 1 In a moment when you don't think you're being videotaped, you absolutely were like, fucked out. I'm so much better than Hank.
Hank, I've noticed recently Hank's been holding a lot of grudges.

Speaker 1 How long do you hold on to a typical grudge like that?

Speaker 4 I don't, it's not a grudge. I just, you know, it's a fire.
I need fire in my body to keep it going.

Speaker 4 So it's honestly, I welcome those type of situations because it was like, you know, Billy said that. I wanted to prove him wrong.

Speaker 1 I did.

Speaker 4 PFT says he's better than ping pong. I want to prove him wrong.
I did.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 How many kills did you get? I said that you should have known about Amazon. You're mad at me about it.
You're going to prove me wrong. Your shit's going to get there in time.
Yes.

Speaker 4 So yeah, I just need a a little

Speaker 4 fuel in my body.

Speaker 1 And Hank's defense, we are getting close to a vacation, right? Yes. We have.
So you can feel it. Yeah.
You can feel it.

Speaker 1 Like the tides and the moon. You can feel it.
Hank. It's ready for a little vacation.
What's your longest running grudge?

Speaker 1 I've been impressed how long you've held a grudge against chocolate milk.

Speaker 4 Chocolate milk.

Speaker 4 I don't know. I mean, LeBron's one that I'll never, like, I'll never really get over them cheating in the Eastern Conference Finals back in the day.

Speaker 1 Hmm.

Speaker 4 I don't know. Chocolate milk.

Speaker 4 I guess I'll have to think about that.

Speaker 1 The written word.

Speaker 4 We'll future it in the beginning of the show.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay.
I'll foreshadow it. Perfect.

Speaker 1 Are you Serbian?

Speaker 4 No.

Speaker 1 They hold big grudges. Really? Yeah.
Is that true? Yep. Where did you learn that? Black hand.
Wow.

Speaker 1 Yeah, true. Good point.
Are you Serbian, Hank? Okay. He might be.
Who knows? The beard looks quasi-Divachian.

Speaker 1 That would be great if you're like, yes, in fact, I am. I learned how to hold a grudge at a very young age.

Speaker 1 All right, let's get to our interview. We have one of our favorite recurring guests, Jerry O'Connell.
He might... If we did a Mount Rushmore right now.

Speaker 4 Stephen Hawking, but Stephen Hawking's dead.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, you did have a big grudge against him. Yeah, you grudged him to death.
Yeah. You won.
You won, Hank. Congrats.
Jerry O'Connell is one of our favorite, favorite guests. Before we do that.

Speaker 1 Hey, what's going on there, pal? We saw you at the hockey game on. Do I know you guys? I'm Ryan Whitney.
I got got a drink named after me. Not a big deal.
Pink Whitney?

Speaker 1 That's what I thought. See you, fellas.
I invented the thing, you pigeon. Pink Whitney for legendary moments.
All right, so let's get to our interview with Jerry O'Connell.

Speaker 1 All right, we're going right into it. Jerry O'Connell, good friend of the program, long time recurrent guest.
What the fuck are you wearing? Are you? What are you doing?

Speaker 5 Well, first of all, I gotta tell you, I'm currently wearing a

Speaker 5 the artist formerly known as San Diego, currently Los Angeles football team jersey because of the disrespect both you guys show to the formerly San Diego Chargers, currently Los Angeles Chargers on an episode-by-episode basis.

Speaker 5 It's really crazy.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 that's not necessarily true, Jerry, because we loved Phillip Rivers. We loved Danny Woodhead.
We just, we like to make fun of the fact that there are two fans in the stands every single game.

Speaker 5 That's not true. For that Pittsburgh

Speaker 5 Monday night game last season, the stands were packed.

Speaker 1 True. That's true.
And they were all waving the towel, the alternate yellow towel

Speaker 1 of the Los Angeles Football Chargers. Okay, so you're wearing a Ladanian Tomlinson jersey, which, by the way, that's a great jersey.
That's a great jersey. It's like four sizes too big.

Speaker 5 I had to order it quickly. I paid a lot for shipping, by the way.

Speaker 5 I'm really sorry about that to any environmentalists. I know when you pay for the really fast shipping, it hurts the environment a lot, but I needed it to get here for

Speaker 5 my segment on your show. I wanted to show Kat and Commenter what a fan I am.

Speaker 1 You realize, though, that's beautiful that this is a podcast, right? And not it's not a video. It's not a television show.

Speaker 5 Yeah, but I thought maybe it would be a topic that we could talk about.

Speaker 1 Well, we're doing it right now. Yeah.
So, all right. So, you're so we talked about the Charger season ticket holders on Tuesday night, and you got the jersey.
It's Thursday. We're taping this.

Speaker 1 You're also

Speaker 1 sitting on the hood of a car. What's going on there? What kind of car? Where are you?

Speaker 5 Uh, this is an 86 Jaguar, uh, also an internet purchase that I made. Um, actually, I didn't make it.
Uh, full story: my wife, um,

Speaker 5 my wife sometimes drinks at night.

Speaker 5 And um,

Speaker 5 my wife bought a Jaguar on eBay.

Speaker 1 Nice.

Speaker 5 Uh,

Speaker 5 uh, it's completely rusted out underneath it. It rarely starts.

Speaker 5 But when it does,

Speaker 5 she's a good ride. I can't wait to pick you guys up at the airport when we're all allowed to travel and everything.

Speaker 1 I want to always travel in the convertible, especially when I'm in L.A.

Speaker 1 I'm impressed that your wife, when she gets drunk and she goes on Amazon, I bought three Bryson DeChambeau hats as a joke when I was drunk the other night. I don't know what I'm going to do with them.

Speaker 1 Your wife goes onto eBay and she's like, yeah, I'll buy this vintage Jaguar convertible. That's a sick flex.

Speaker 5 I think made a low bid and it happened to to take.

Speaker 1 Now, what was that conversation like when she woke up the next morning? She was like, hey, Jerry, I think I accidentally bought a car.

Speaker 5 I don't think the conversation actually occurred until the notification came that her bid was accepted.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's a rush.
You won the bid. You won the bid for a Jaguar?

Speaker 5 And then I think it was a go back into history and figure out what actually happened sort of situation.

Speaker 1 That's unbelievable. All right.
so jerry is with us uh reverse dude where's my car

Speaker 1 congrats on on this is your this is new year's this is not even new year's eve this is new year's day this is sports year's day this is yes yes yes sports year's day it's we're back sports are back it feels are you guys going straight are you guys going straight to watching every single telecast of every baseball game that's happening tonight oh yeah i watched two so it's not like a lot but yeah i'm just so thankful to have any live sports back on television I will watch whatever you put in front of me on that screen right now.

Speaker 1 It's been such a drought the last four or five months. I still have no idea how I made it through.

Speaker 5 You guys did figure out a way to make it entertaining, though. I mean,

Speaker 5 if not talking about

Speaker 5 Xbox video games that some of you play, I mean, talking about,

Speaker 5 you know, the San Diego,

Speaker 5 formerly San Diego, Los Angeles Chargers season ticket holders, which I should say full disclosure, I was for a few years a San Diego Chargers season ticket holder.

Speaker 1 Oh, did they call you by accident when they canceled the tickets last week? They're like, hey, this guy hasn't had tickets for a while, but we might as well.

Speaker 5 I have not since they moved to the new stadium. I was actually, when I moved to Los Angeles from the New York area, I wanted a team to root for, and Los Angeles did not have a team at that time.

Speaker 5 So

Speaker 5 I would make the trip and drive down there.

Speaker 1 I actually would imagine the poor souls in the Chargers ticket office that had to make those phone calls to clock in a full eight-hour day.

Speaker 1 They probably did go back in time and they're like, well, this guy had tickets like six years ago. Let's give him a call so at least we can stretch this day out so that we can get fully paid.

Speaker 1 I did look busy. You know,

Speaker 5 I had kids.

Speaker 5 How is it going, Kat? How is being a daddy?

Speaker 1 It's awesome. It's the best thing ever.
And I mean that honestly. I think it's cliche.
Most people are like, oh, it's the best thing ever.

Speaker 1 But I actually was thinking about that this morning i was like it's awesome yeah that's gonna change when there's like a pandemic and your kids are going to school and then they stop going to school and then you're responsible for their school that will probably end yes i recognize fully recognize that i'm very lucky i think that if you had a kid that if you have a child that's over the age of 25 you're fine during the pandemic and then if you have a child like myself under the age of two where he doesn't have any fucking clue what's going on we're going to tell him someday that he survived the pandemic in new york city and he's gonna be like what the hell is that i i definitely am lucky i i feel for anyone who has to uh homeschool yeah commenter i would uh i would love it if you could maybe help out with some homeschooling over zoom or something with the kids uh maybe uh maybe a broadcasting class or something we yeah we teach a class it would be nice to be not the shortest person in the room sometimes so yeah well no his his wife's pretty tall so it's good stock yeah commenter i've actually stood next to you.

Speaker 5 I'm a pretty tall guy. I don't remember you not being tall.

Speaker 1 I'm like 5'9.5, 5'10 on a good day. Some would say 5'11.
Wait, Jerry, can we actually do this? Can we teach your kids a class?

Speaker 5 Yeah, why don't you? Why don't you make it like a communications course or something?

Speaker 1 I'd be happy to do that. Can we swear? No, I'm happy to do it.
But yeah, Big Gat brings up a good point. What's the profanity level like? What's acceptable? Can we go damn hell and ass?

Speaker 1 Those are all generic profanity.

Speaker 5 Let me try and give a good example of profanity.

Speaker 5 My kids are like,

Speaker 5 remember those John Hughes movies where there were a couple of F bombs dropped and a couple of S bombs dropped? That's about the level of my kids' profanity.

Speaker 1 Okay, like a PG-13. Like a

Speaker 1 PG-13.

Speaker 5 We do watch the Chappelle show.

Speaker 5 I mean, Chappelle cursed. quite a bit in those shows.
Yeah, I think they're okay with profanity. I think, I mean, I'm okay with it.

Speaker 1 Would let your kids watch Stand By Me?

Speaker 5 Um, I have. They couldn't really get through it.
For those listening, I was in Stand By Me. It's not, you know, these kids, I know you guys are big on the TikTok.

Speaker 5 These kids are TikTok and like the just doing the sexy dances and stuff.

Speaker 5 You know, like a long form, Stand By Me is an 80-minute movie, and that's about

Speaker 5 79 minutes too long for my children.

Speaker 1 Now, now, one other thing before we teach this class, would you consider, were your kids raised in New york or la my kids are being raised in a suburb of los angeles called calabasas okay yeah

Speaker 5 i'm scared of them they're cooler than us forget it there is a little vocal fry with my children like they do

Speaker 5 and um

Speaker 5 obviously you know we can't

Speaker 5 we have to encourage children to be the best they can be. But when I do hear that vocal fry, I punish them.

Speaker 1 As you should. Now,

Speaker 1 what sort of balance sports do they excel at? Are they already on skateboards? Are they surfing?

Speaker 5 You know, I know last time I came on the show, I'll retell the story really quickly because we were talking about cats kid and like getting

Speaker 5 cat's kid in

Speaker 5 involved in sports.

Speaker 5 My children, I put them in a soccer camp. And

Speaker 5 After the first class, the coach called me and said, hey, Mr. O'Connell,

Speaker 5 this is Coach Jamal.

Speaker 5 I'm your kid's soccer coach. And I went, oh, yeah.
And I stopped for a second. And in my head, I thought, this is it.
This is the call that all

Speaker 5 parents of star. This is the call that Tiger Woods' dad got, Earl Woods got, where it's like, listen, I need to work with your son.

Speaker 5 He's got it. Whatever it is, he's got it.
I mean, there's really no limit to how far he can go, but it's going to be a big dedication. You have to drive to tournaments.

Speaker 5 You have to really, you have to be as much a part of this commitment as your child.

Speaker 5 And I was thinking, you know, I have daughters. I was thinking, you know, the U.S.

Speaker 5 women's soccer team, you know, I was thinking the sky's the limit.

Speaker 5 And

Speaker 5 the coach said, your daughter shows no interest whatsoever in playing soccer. And we feel a little bad taking your money.
I don't think she should be enrolled in this class. And I became

Speaker 5 angry and I said, I pay you to watch her for three hours a week. That's what your job is.

Speaker 5 I don't want to hear from you again. Just make sure she's alive when I pick her up.

Speaker 1 Well, how about this, Jerry? Why don't we teach them a class on broadcasting?

Speaker 1 We can teach them how to podcast, and we'll help them develop their own podcast where they just sit, they watch a Jerry O'Connell movie, and then they do a podcast about it afterwards, and they talk about their dad.

Speaker 5 Okay, will people be interested in a podcast about my children watching movies I've been in.

Speaker 5 I mean, I know I'm here pushing, promoting The Secret, Dare to Dream, an amazing film that's coming out on video on demand next Friday, but like, are people really going to listen to that?

Speaker 1 I think they would listen to your daughters roasting you. Yeah.

Speaker 5 All right. It's done.

Speaker 1 They would absolutely watch Stand By Me and they'd be like, wow,

Speaker 1 dad used to have a few pounds around the old waistband back in the day. That would be funny.
People would listen to that.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 5 You know,

Speaker 5 because I played the husky kid in stand by me you're saying i was a little heavier but wait that was re-watch it if you re-watch it i wasn't that

Speaker 1 that big i wasn't that you had a dad but that was you you've got a fat but stand by me

Speaker 5 it's uh that's derog that's that's not that's that's that's rude what you're calling me that i was uh i was a healthy kid i mean i'm sure you see kids on the street or whatever and you're like oh that's a thick that's a healthy kid yeah but i was i was was not, I was not fat.

Speaker 5 What you're saying is a little rude, to be honest.

Speaker 1 You were extremely healthy. Fair, fair.

Speaker 5 And you're confusing me with the Los Angeles Chargers football team.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 We're going to get back to Jerry in a second, but before we do. What's up, guys? It's Big Cat here making my Irish entrance with proper number 12 Irish whiskey.

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Speaker 1 So get out there and make your Irish entrance. Anything else just wouldn't be proper.

Speaker 1 Going off that, going off the Chargers, I am actually curious to know what you think about your quarterback situation because it's the first time in a long time without Philip Rivers.

Speaker 1 We're all going to miss him out on the West Coast playing those afternoon games down like 14 to 20 with you know six minutes left and seeing how many interceptions he can throw.

Speaker 1 You've got Justin Herbert, you've got a new toy, and is it Tarad, right? Tarad is kind of penciled in to be the starter.

Speaker 5 Um, I love the San Diego Chargers simply because of their running back back situation. That Eckler dude single-handedly got me into the playoffs last season.
Yep.

Speaker 5 I'm a huge, it's so funny how I play fantasy, and no one should take my advice because I lose consistency. You'll never remember my

Speaker 5 virgin time with you, Cat and Commenter, on your show, I talked about how I only draft Browns players on my team. And

Speaker 5 I've only been to the airport in Cleveland. I have no affiliation with Cleveland whatsoever.

Speaker 5 It's just because the last time I won fantasy football, I had Braylon Edwards and Derek Anderson as a one-two punch, and I won that season.

Speaker 5 So now I have to have at a minimum three Browns on my fantasy football team every season. And I have not won since that season.

Speaker 5 I did make the playoffs this year. It was

Speaker 5 out of 16 teams, a 14-team playoff.

Speaker 5 I snuck in in the 14th

Speaker 1 seed.

Speaker 5 I didn't lose in the first round pretty badly.

Speaker 5 The number one seed had a buy, so I had to play the number two seed, and he would be pretty good. But that Austin Eckler,

Speaker 5 I'm a huge fan of drafting at least one

Speaker 5 Charger running back, Los Angeles. football team running back

Speaker 5 on on my fantasy team.

Speaker 1 I like it. So do you have any, have you done any scouting for this upcoming season?

Speaker 5 You know, it's a little bit wasteful because,

Speaker 5 you know, I like to also draft

Speaker 5 people who

Speaker 5 I like on hard knocks who actually make the team. So hard knocks is not aired yet.
So you have to either be a Brown,

Speaker 1 a

Speaker 5 San Diego football team, now currently Los Angeles football team running back.

Speaker 5 or some sort of second stringer on hard knocks for me to draft you on my team.

Speaker 1 Well, that's perfect because this year it's the Chargers and the Rams on hard knocks.

Speaker 1 You're going to have a deep draft board.

Speaker 5 I do not draft any Rams. I have a problem with drafting Rams.
I don't know why.

Speaker 5 It's a weird thing that I have.

Speaker 1 Your fantasy strategy is honestly the most interesting fantasy strategy of anyone I've ever encountered because it's really...

Speaker 1 It's nothing really based on production.

Speaker 1 It's just personal likes and dislikes, and I respect the hell out of that.

Speaker 5 It's really crazy.

Speaker 5 I have a lot of problems.

Speaker 5 So sorry to the people of Houston. I can't watch a Texans game.
I don't know what it is about the Texans that annoy me.

Speaker 5 So

Speaker 5 I could never draft DeAndre Hopkins, even if I had a top five pick.

Speaker 1 Good news. He's a Cardinal this year.
Yeah. Do you watch the Cardinals?

Speaker 5 I do not watch the Cardinals either. It's so funny.

Speaker 5 I have weird teams that I can't watch. I do love to watch, and I've never been to Jacksonville, but I love to watch Jaguars games.
I don't know why, man.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's a two-tone helmet sometimes that they used to have. That is sweet.
That makes no sense.

Speaker 5 I know. Because that same season with Braylon Edwards and Derek Anderson,

Speaker 5 I also started in my RB2 slot, Maurice Jones Drew, who I love on the NFL network over there. Sorry to talk about a sports network that's not barstool, but

Speaker 5 he's a great commenter and not you commenter. He's a great commenter on NFL network.
And

Speaker 5 he,

Speaker 5 I just have always drafted Jaguars. I had that Garner Minshew last season and that

Speaker 5 DJ Shart, that

Speaker 5 DJ Shart, he was,

Speaker 5 it was a really fun season for me. I told you, I snuck into the playoffs.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was good for you. For me, sometimes if I have this player, and I'm kind of the same way, I think all of us are.
For whatever reason, we just don't like certain teams.

Speaker 1 We're just bored by certain teams. For me, I just can't watch the Giants.
Their uniforms are just boring. They always play boring games in prime time.

Speaker 1 But it always takes like a full year for them after they get off that team and they get to a new team for me to realize that they're a good player now and that they're exciting to watch in a different uniform.

Speaker 1 They'll still have that kind of layover stink on them for about 12 months.

Speaker 5 Right, right, right.

Speaker 5 I can understand that. It's sort of like East Coast, NFC,

Speaker 5 old school football. I could see why you're not into the Giants.

Speaker 5 It's not that exciting

Speaker 5 AFC stuff that happens, you know?

Speaker 1 Yeah. I could see that.
Are you afraid at all,

Speaker 1 given your past with fantasy football, that eventually in like 10 or 15 years, you're just not going to be able to play anymore? Because you're going to have so many

Speaker 1 no-watch teams and players. And eventually you're going to look at it and you'll be like, wait, I only have Chargers and Browns and there's not enough roster spots anymore.

Speaker 1 It's a tough question, I know.

Speaker 5 That's such a good question. Man, this is why you guys are going to be so good at teaching my kids an online

Speaker 5 broadcasting class.

Speaker 5 No, because

Speaker 5 new teams sneak in for me that I would have thought I would have never

Speaker 5 been a part of.

Speaker 5 Let me try and give an example of that.

Speaker 5 Let me think. Why am I into the Raiders? I had somebody on the Raiders.
Maybe

Speaker 5 I had some.

Speaker 1 Hard knocks. Hard knocks.

Speaker 5 But I had some random. I think it was Washington or something.
I had a couple years ago, I had some random running back from the Raiders that somehow did well for me. And now

Speaker 5 I'm able to watch Raiders games again. But

Speaker 1 it's not right.

Speaker 5 It was not Rob Cartwright.

Speaker 5 It was something Washington. I'm so sorry.
I'm blanking on his name.

Speaker 1 So that's good, though. That means that you're not a never say never guy.
You can let people back into the Jerry O'Connell fantasy draft guide. You should actually do.
We should do that.

Speaker 1 We should build a draft guide for you.

Speaker 1 Can we do that? Can we sit down and be like, here, like, and we'll go through it and just be like,

Speaker 1 Texans,

Speaker 1 Deshaun Watson, don't draft. Why? I can't do it.
Because for some reason, Jerry O'Connell can't watch Texans games. How about this?

Speaker 5 I can't do it. I can't do it.

Speaker 1 We can can tease it right now. We'll put this out with tomorrow's show.
Just give us your power-ranked top five Browns to watch out for in the 2020 season fantasy-wise.

Speaker 5 I'm really going to be looking at their tight end situation.

Speaker 5 I'm really going to be looking at their tight end situation. Who did they just get?

Speaker 5 I'm sorry,

Speaker 5 I'm using my phone

Speaker 5 for this interview, so I can't look it up, but they just got

Speaker 1 some amazing tight end that uh well either way i i'm uh i want to do this i want to i want to sit down and you can tell us exactly who you want and don't want and uh why the reasoning and we'll go through the whole thing and i think that we'll like if people follow the jerry o'connell draft methodology for fantasy football you too can finish 14 out of 16 and sneak into your playoffs given that they're giving 14 teams a playoff playoff spot.

Speaker 5 Guys, will there be any cutouts of you at any of these baseball games tonight that I will be watching?

Speaker 1 No, I don't think so, unless somebody else made them without our knowledge.

Speaker 1 That's always a possibility.

Speaker 1 You were talking about Austin Hooper, by the way, who went from the Falcons. Austin Hooper, yes.
Yes.

Speaker 5 He's definitely going to be

Speaker 5 my tight end. And I'm going to do something

Speaker 5 not so I'm going to do something not so smart where I pick him in like the second round or something. That's how

Speaker 1 I want a whole list of like, yeah, like, all right, third round. This is when we fuck everyone up and take our defense.
No one's going to be able to do that.

Speaker 5 Guys, I guess it's obsessive-compulsive disorder. Like, you have to have something a certain way.
And by the way, the reason why I fail so miserably in fantasy, I'm in four leagues.

Speaker 5 Of course, they're, I don't know if we're allowed to talk about wagering here, but of course, they're all $200 buy-ins.

Speaker 5 So when you lose, it's actually like, especially now with the quarantine, it's actually like financially, like my children don't get

Speaker 5 like school lunch for

Speaker 5 like a, like a couple of weeks.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 5 It actually, it, it actually affects me economically, these, these insane OCD decisions that I have. It actually is a burden.
And then it makes me depressed around the house.

Speaker 5 And then, you know, Sunday, Monday,

Speaker 5 I'm emotionally not well. I can't watch or listen to any sports, television, or radio

Speaker 5 until they stop talking about what happened that Sunday.

Speaker 5 It's a pretty bad cycle for about 16 weeks.

Speaker 1 Jerry, 14-team PPR here. Who should I draft? Odell Beckham or Jarvis Landry?

Speaker 5 What are you drafting them in?

Speaker 1 A 14-team PPR Fantasy Football League. Any round you want.

Speaker 5 Oh, what round am I taking them in?

Speaker 1 Yeah, who would you take first?

Speaker 1 Or would you just take both?

Speaker 5 You know, I took Odell last season, and while I respect him as an athlete and also an online personality he really did not perform for me it really was uh

Speaker 5 it really cost my children thousands of dollars um

Speaker 5 so i would uh

Speaker 5 just either of them i would um

Speaker 5 i would i would i would stick with my boy hooper that's about it okay we're going with hooper i like simon draft board i like that sorry And Landry, also, because he's playing with Odell,

Speaker 5 he's a tough pick as well. You just can't rely on them consistently having Michael Thomas-like numbers every week.
You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 I had a question about the actual movie that you're promoting, The Secret. Oh, yes.

Speaker 5 Yes. Of course, I know you guys live by this book.
It's amazing.

Speaker 5 It's the book that uses laws of attraction to help you get things that you want in life.

Speaker 5 They made a very romantic,

Speaker 5 sweeping, epic film about it.

Speaker 5 It stars Katie Holmes and Josh Lucas. I know,

Speaker 5 commenter, you are a huge fan of Sweet Home, Alabama.

Speaker 1 I am. Yeah, you know me, Reese Witherspoon.

Speaker 5 And

Speaker 5 the star of Sweet Home Alabama, Josh Lucas is in it. A dreamy, dreamy guy.
I play

Speaker 5 Katie Holmes's husband, who is

Speaker 5 whatever the secret is and those laws of attraction are, my character is the opposite of that. I'm holding her back in life.

Speaker 1 Oh, wait, you're an anchor. Wait, so wouldn't that, wouldn't you be an anti-communist? Yeah, wouldn't you technically be the secret then if you just did everything opposite of what you do?

Speaker 1 You have the secret.

Speaker 5 My character is

Speaker 5 the anti-secret, is the antithesis of it.

Speaker 1 But my character. But then you do also contain the secret by just everything that your character does, just don't do that.
And that and therein lies the secret.

Speaker 5 Yeah, sure. If you use that reverse psychology, sure, yeah.

Speaker 1 I think I just saved. I that my character is the answer to everything.

Speaker 1 I saved the production company a lot of money. We'll just get rid of the fucking boy.
What's the guy's name who tries to be the heartthrob? We know you're the heart throb.

Speaker 5 No, it is.

Speaker 1 It is just get him out.

Speaker 5 He is a leading man.

Speaker 5 He is a leading man type.

Speaker 1 You are. Isn't there some

Speaker 1 philosophical theory, though, that everything contains the exact opposite of it? I think you're right. Yeah, you.

Speaker 1 We could have just made, we could have just made Jerry O'Connell acting like a dick for two hours and been like, the secret is don't do what he does maybe that could be our spin-off after we open our online broadcasting school for children who watch uh b

Speaker 1 and c type movies that jerry o'connell has starred in i'm just thinking about it right now too to to kind of meld both worlds you are the walking secret for fantasy football to do the opposite of what you do is the greatest fantasy football strategy out there.

Speaker 1 Oh, man.

Speaker 5 You know what it is? I always come come see you guys in like late summer when we're just starting to do our mock drafts and everything. That's every time I come and see you.

Speaker 5 Do you know I came and saw you last year at exactly this time?

Speaker 1 Yeah, we did a Mount Rushmore of fantasy draft positions that you'd like to be in. Yeah.
And I think it took us about 30 minutes.

Speaker 1 Have you figured that one out yet?

Speaker 5 You guys did something crazy to me. You had some sort of crazy draft that you did where it's like

Speaker 5 you threw out random numbers, and I felt like my edibles had just kicked in when I walked in there. It was really crazy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, we remember. I mean, we have you actually drank out of a cup that we've actually haven't, we've saved it since.
So it's just been sitting here

Speaker 1 with your DNA on it. We're waiting to frame you for a crime.
No, we're going to clone you, and then we're going to do the opposite of what your clone does and become millionaires.

Speaker 1 By the way, Jerry, I love the secret that is out July 31st on all streaming.

Speaker 1 You can get all streaming, right? It came out in the theaters right when coronavirus hit, and now you're going to be able to watch it at home.

Speaker 5 It was going to come out in April, and then they shut down all movie theaters and everything.

Speaker 5 And

Speaker 5 now it's being released on

Speaker 5 video on demand and like Apple movies and all that stuff.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 5 it's really interesting that that's what's going on now. You know,

Speaker 5 it's going to be really funny, too, that I'm speaking to you on the day that actually the first thing has opened in

Speaker 5 society. I mean,

Speaker 5 I guess

Speaker 5 in Asia, there's been baseball. I guess MLS, as you guys mentioned,

Speaker 5 has been opened.

Speaker 1 Technically, it's been back.

Speaker 5 But

Speaker 5 this is the first thing that's on my radar that's opening.

Speaker 1 I just like in the secret that you play a character named Tucker, and then it made me think of Frank Cushman, Cush, and Jerry Maguire. There's something about

Speaker 1 when you clean up, you really should only play characters with real douchebag names. I don't know why, but it really fits you.
Not that you are. But it's playing the character.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I never really thought of.

Speaker 5 I guess Tucker does sound like a little bit of a D-bag name.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right.

Speaker 1 Like, you should be like a Chad. Like, you're kind of the perfect

Speaker 1 spoil. Yeah.
I can see you being

Speaker 1 a Dustin. Yeah, you got all that.
I don't know. It's something about, again, you're a great guy.
We love you. But I think when you,

Speaker 1 it's acting, really.

Speaker 1 It's the testament to how great you are as an actor that you're able to play bad guys, knowing how good of a guy you are.

Speaker 5 Right, right, right, right.

Speaker 1 Have you ever been nominated for an Oscar, Jerry?

Speaker 5 I've never been nominated for an Oscar. I was nominated for an MTV movie award.

Speaker 1 Oh, it's better. That's when you win.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 We may have won. I was in a film, really amazing.
We may have filmed. I actually don't remember.
It was an amazing little film I made, a little independent called Kangaroo Jackets.

Speaker 5 It was about two guys who go to Australia and they put a sweatshirt on a dead kangaroo and it wakes up and runs away. And there's $10,000 in the sweatshirt that the kangaroo ran away with.

Speaker 5 I remember it. It's a good film.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 It's really good. You should revisit it.
It's It's really cool. But

Speaker 1 you did not win.

Speaker 5 The film was nominated for best on-screen fart. We had an on-screen fart.

Speaker 1 Yep. Yeah, no, no, you won.
Okay, so Kangaroo Jack, yes, you did. So you had best virtual performance nominated MTV movie award.

Speaker 1 You lost that, but you did win a kid's choice award for favorite fart in a movie.

Speaker 5 Oh, that's what it was.

Speaker 1 I'm so sorry. That's what it was.

Speaker 1 Was that you farting? Was it your actual fart or was it a sound effect? Was it probably?

Speaker 5 You know, no, it's so funny. A lot of actors like say, like, just do it in post.
You know, just like, just, just, just add it in later. But I was like, I'm going to do this.

Speaker 5 And we did a lot of takes, and it's tough to do it over and over again. I actually,

Speaker 5 I actually did shit myself in one of the takes.

Speaker 1 That's why it won. You were doing method acting.
I got it. We got it.
You know what? We're going to watch this movie.

Speaker 1 Next time you come, we got to make a list because I would love to do a re-watch with you because it also had, it also was nominated nominated for worst supporting actor and worst supporting actress,

Speaker 1 neither of them being you, but it was

Speaker 1 nominated.

Speaker 5 Is that like Razzie's?

Speaker 1 Razzie Awards nominated you and Stinkers Bad Movie Awards nominated you.

Speaker 5 Oh man.

Speaker 1 But you won best part.

Speaker 5 That's in the past. Like, let me tell you, The Secret.
Dare to dream. By the way, have you guys ever read The Secret?

Speaker 1 I've not.

Speaker 1 I read the game. Yep.
And I assume that it's similar, right? The pick-apartist thing. Yeah.
Isn't the secret just

Speaker 1 say what you want to be? Yeah.

Speaker 5 It's a laws of attraction thing.

Speaker 5 Oh man,

Speaker 5 it's a laws of attraction thing. I do have to say, when I was

Speaker 5 working on a television show and I was

Speaker 5 loudly and vehemently complaining about my superior. We had a boss that I just hated.
And I had a co-worker. And

Speaker 5 he was like, hey, man,

Speaker 5 come over to my dressing room. And I went to his dressing room and he was like, you should read this.
You sound really down. And I was like, oh, no, I'm not down.
I just hate that guy.

Speaker 5 I just hate him. And he's our boss.
And it just makes me feel good to make fun of him, never to his face, like behind his back, you know. And

Speaker 5 he went, you should read this. And he gave me the secret.
And

Speaker 5 I did thumb through it. And I found it to be very, very helpful.

Speaker 1 Can you give us like one little nugget as a tease for the movie just to improve your life in a small dose?

Speaker 5 Oh man,

Speaker 5 this is the part where you guys make fun of me, though. So, I mean, this is the part where you make fun of me.

Speaker 5 You're supposed to, like, if you want something, you carry a picture around of it with you, and like it will help you.

Speaker 5 Like, it'll be like a law of attraction.

Speaker 1 Is that how, like, you just carried around a bunch of swimsuit issues back in the day, and then eventually you married Rebecca Romaine?

Speaker 5 So, for those listening, I'm married to former sports illustrated swimsuit cover girl rebecca romaine um

Speaker 5 no i gotta tell you i'm shocked that i ended up marrying and i'm with rebecca romaine i have no right i have no money i have no real like status in society um well no fat kid in in standby me best far man hey man you gotta stop with the fat stuff okay it's not a cool term i was husky and everyone knows it.

Speaker 5 If you watch it, everyone knows I was not fat. Obviously, there are fat people in film and television, and I am not one of them.
Re-watch it.

Speaker 5 I did not use the law of attraction. I don't know how I ended up with my wife.
It was not.

Speaker 5 I mean,

Speaker 5 I guess that was kind of funny.

Speaker 1 I think you got the vibe, like the hey, you can buy a Jaguar on eBay, and I'm cool with it.

Speaker 5 Vibe, I do have to say,

Speaker 5 last

Speaker 5 football game in San Diego that I went to was a Raiders

Speaker 5 Chargers game.

Speaker 5 And

Speaker 5 there was a physical altercation with some Raiders fans in the stadium.

Speaker 5 And my wife looked at me and went, I'm not coming to

Speaker 1 these games anymore.

Speaker 1 That was it.

Speaker 5 So that was my wife learning about Raiders fans.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Did you try to defend her? Were you in the middle of the fight?

Speaker 5 Actually, the way my wife tells the story is it happened near us and I used her because they were throwing throwing things. I hid behind her a little bit.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't recall that happening. Yeah.
Hank.

Speaker 4 Bob Costas does that with the picture thing.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 4 He carries around like his dream.

Speaker 1 A picture of a new eye.

Speaker 1 And he's like, one day. Jim Nance does that.
Oh, Jim Nance. I drew it.

Speaker 1 That's toast. Toast.
He carries around a picture of toast.

Speaker 1 I dream that I will be able to order this perfect toast.

Speaker 1 Yes. The perfectly burnt food, man.
Yes.

Speaker 5 That's so rude.

Speaker 1 Jerry, I've kind of been doing the secret unintentionally, though. I've just been telling everybody that one day I'm going to own the Washington Redskins.

Speaker 1 I don't really have a plan to do it, but if I just say it enough, I think that the universe will make it happen.

Speaker 5 The Washington football team

Speaker 5 you were referring to, and

Speaker 5 I could see that happening. By the way, that story

Speaker 5 came out last week, the big build-up.

Speaker 5 It's about Snyder and everybody.

Speaker 5 I haven't read anything more about that.

Speaker 1 So they fired everybody that was named in the article that came out. They're no longer with the team, but Snyder, there was a big question, like, how much does Snyder know?

Speaker 1 He obviously knew some of it. Is he going to be forced to sell the team?

Speaker 1 And I just think that every other owner in the league is too afraid of being implicated in situations exactly like that to set the precedent that we will fire you if this stuff happens under your watch.

Speaker 1 So I think Snyder is going to stick around for a while, unfortunately.

Speaker 1 Jerry, this has been awesome. We love you.
Anytime you're going to be able to do it. I love you guys too.

Speaker 1 I want to do the fantasy guide. Are you going to come to New York anytime soon? I want to do a full fantasy guide where we go through every team and we're like, nope, can't draft them.

Speaker 1 Or, yep, can draft him. Take him in the first round.

Speaker 5 So funny. Let me tell you, man, obsessive-compulsive disorder really ruins any chances you have of winning any fantasy football.

Speaker 5 Anything. Oh, gosh.
Hey, no offense to the Dallas Cowboys. I do not take Dallas Cowboys wide receivers anymore.

Speaker 5 I can't do it. I'll tell you, it's also tough not to draft Dallas Cowboys because

Speaker 5 they're on basically every Sunday or Monday night game. Like anytime you're able to watch a football game,

Speaker 5 every player I draft here on the West Coast plays at 10 a.m.

Speaker 5 And then that's it. Then my week is over.
I have nothing rolling into Sunday night or Monday night.

Speaker 1 That's kind of the opposite of what I do.

Speaker 1 I like to draft teams that I know will be in Sunday night football and Monday night football just so that I can have like this bailout game where I'm like, oh, yeah, if Amari Cooper scores seven touchdowns on Monday night, then maybe then I'll tie.

Speaker 5 Right, right, true.

Speaker 1 Jerry, you're awesome.

Speaker 5 Just draft Packers and you'll have something you do every Sunday night.

Speaker 1 What about Jets? Would you ever draft a Jet?

Speaker 5 Big, it's a big, it's a big, it's a big downfall of mine. I'm actually a Jets fan.

Speaker 5 It's a big problem. I mean, even when I drafted Levian with my number

Speaker 5 three pick last year, it's just, it never works out for me, man. It just never works out for me.
I'll be watching the Jets this year. Hopefully, everyone stays COVID and mono-free.

Speaker 1 Yep. Yep.

Speaker 1 Well, Jerry, seriously, though, you're one of our favorite guests. We appreciate it, man.

Speaker 5 Pat, commenter. Love you guys.

Speaker 1 And when

Speaker 5 Madden 21 comes out, we should do a little online head-to-head, man.

Speaker 1 Oh, you want this smoke?

Speaker 5 Yeah, I think I can handle it.

Speaker 1 Okay. All right.
Well, we'll do it.

Speaker 5 We'll do it. We got to do it.
We got to do it a little later at night because my effing kids are on that TikTok all day, so it messes with my bandwidth.

Speaker 1 Okay, all right. We'll do it later.
Yeah, but we're in. We're in.
That would be awesome.

Speaker 5 I would love that.

Speaker 1 See you guys.

Speaker 1 Awesome, man. Thanks so much, Jerry.
You're the best, Jerry. Appreciate it.
Miss you.

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Okay, let's get some segments. First up, we have team name changes.

Speaker 1 Or if you're the Washington R words,

Speaker 1 you're just not picking a new name. I'd still like to bleep out football team until they win a football game.

Speaker 1 They shouldn't be allowed to call themselves an actual football team until they get that W. And it could take a while this year.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I don't, I guess we shouldn't be surprised anymore because, you know, last week we obviously talked about the horrendous article that came out about the Washington football team's goings on.

Speaker 1 And then we also

Speaker 1 did your top 10 best moments the last 20 years, which are very bleak.

Speaker 1 But the fact that they had this much much time to figure it out, they haven't figured it out, and then they did a press release and they haven't changed any of like the Redskin logos off of the website or their Twitter or anything is,

Speaker 1 it's so fucking stupid. So what happened was it very clearly points to the order of operations for how the name change came about this summer.

Speaker 1 Dan Snyder, yes, to his, I mean, he had probably 20, was it 23 years of ownership to think about this day and what it would eventually come to if if he ever decided to change it?

Speaker 1 But he obviously never wanted to change until FedEx stepped in, until Pepsi and Nike stepped in and said, We're going to take away your money.

Speaker 1 We don't want to have our products associated with your football team until you change the name because he didn't have anything ready to go at the time.

Speaker 1 So it was very clearly a reactionary move that he pulled like three weeks ago. And he was like, Okay, now it's time to appease my minority owners and the sponsors that are threatening to pull out.

Speaker 1 So now he's stuck behind the eight ball where he has three weeks to get ready for training camp, get all the logos set up, get all the signage taken care of.

Speaker 1 And it's not enough time when you include the fact that you have to go about doing the trademark thing,

Speaker 1 getting the Twitter handles, the Instagram accounts. So they just said, you know what, we're going to punt.

Speaker 1 And if you are the vice president of marketing for the Washington artists, formerly known as Redskins, you are so happy today. This is like the ultimate delaying plans.
And now, guess what?

Speaker 1 You've got a full year to figure out. This is like the boost.

Speaker 1 This is like when you get your extension on your taxes and then you again six months from now we'll be in a place where like shit we had all that time i actually like the helmets i like the fact i i i like numbers on a helmet people are like oh man that's a college thing yes it is but why not have one team in the nfl have it yeah kind of cool i actually i like that part too yeah and the uniforms i wouldn't want every team to do it but i think it's cool yeah they look okay the uniforms look decent but now they're just the colors are the same i'm starting to talk myself into the fact i saw mark titus tweet about this but my one of my initial reactions was i'm gonna spin zone my way into loving this team name.

Speaker 1 And that's just like

Speaker 1 you have to be a candy ass to have a mascot for your team. Like, really? Washington football.

Speaker 1 It is kind of candy ass to name your team after a bird or whatever, a bird or a fish, whatever these other teams have. We're a football team.
We play football. Football.

Speaker 1 We don't need any of this rapid type stuff. Yeah.
We don't need a mascot. I actually don't hate that.
I like that spin zone.

Speaker 1 And then we had the Seattle Kraken, the 32nd NHL franchise, was debuted today.

Speaker 1 So Billy's been doing a great job. He's been putting together the top 10 stories that we need to pay attention to, handing us a sheet.
He's done some editorializing on this one, and I love it.

Speaker 1 So he wrote some jokes down that we could possibly go with. Seattle cracking the 32nd NHL team.

Speaker 1 Cracking a beer with the boys. Yeah, I like that.
And dovetailing off it, when they get a win, they should just say like cracking a cold one. Yeah, cracking a cold one.
The ice is cracking.

Speaker 1 That's probably a bad thing. You don't want that.
Soupy. Yeah, there's some Zamboni technician who's like, God damn it, Billy.

Speaker 1 What's cracking? I like that too. That's kind of cool.
And then the great one, the fans want to be called Crackheads.

Speaker 1 And then he also put in, Brandon Walker tweeted this, but it's not his original idea. Okay, so he stole that.
It's not from Brandon Walker. Yeah, I stole an idea.
I don't.

Speaker 1 I like it. I like their logo that they have.
I don't know. Their logos are pretty sick.

Speaker 1 They've got the anchor with the space needle as the top of the anchor in there. I kind of wanted it to be the seals because I wanted a fucking cute little seal mascot.

Speaker 4 Or they don't care about animals.

Speaker 1 I do not care about nature taking care of itself. Fact.

Speaker 1 What about

Speaker 1 Rain City Jacks? It was right there. It was.
It was there for the taking. Or the semen.

Speaker 1 The logo's cool. So it's an octopus.
What is the... What's behind it? It's a kraken.
So a kraken is a mythological creature. Actually, Billy was very excited to explain what a kraken is.

Speaker 1 So this whole cryptozoology thing is right after this giant squid.

Speaker 1 Giant squid used to be a lot more populous in the oceans due to environmental change that are not so much anymore, but sometimes they wash up on the shore.

Speaker 1 So in ancient semen, when they were out, they'd see the squids rise to the surface.

Speaker 1 And they'd be like, whoa, what is that thing? Is it a giant squid that's going to kill us? I'm also pretty sure it was like a mythological creature, too. No, no, it's created.
That looked like it.

Speaker 1 So are they going to be throwing squid on the ice? That would be. They have to.
Yeah. Throw a squid on.
Like the red wings?

Speaker 1 You think they're going to do that? Probably. I think.
How expensive is squid?

Speaker 1 It's pretty cheap. Could you sneak it into an arena? Yeah, you could, not a giant one.

Speaker 1 That would take, you'd have to, like, you'd have to really do some work to wrap up a giant squid in like a 50-foot newspaper. Are squid the same as octopus? No.
They're different.

Speaker 1 Oh, wait, so red wings throw octopus, but I didn't. I thought they were the same.
I thought squids were just smaller octopus. Squid is calamari.

Speaker 1 So Hank would eat an octopus, but he wouldn't eat a kraken. A squid has got a cone head and and octopus.
Oh, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Are they cousins? Yeah. Cephalopods.
There we go, Billy. I thought that a great name would be the Seattle sirens.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Because you got the gold siren, then you could have Courtney Love just up in the corner, just trying to lure people to date her. Yeah.
Yeah. Okay.
Yeah. I mean, I just like cute mascots.

Speaker 1 You know, seals would have been cool. Seals would be good.
Seattle sea lions. Mm-hmm.
Sea lions are cuter than seals and brace the bait. Yeah, because they have the whiskers.

Speaker 1 They've got, no, they both have whiskers. Sea lions have ears.
Ah. Seals don't? No.

Speaker 4 But there's way more. You got to think about, you know, you got to think about the worst case scenario.

Speaker 4 If the seals are getting smoked, there's a lot of videos of animals and sharks just fucking seals up. All the kraken

Speaker 4 videos and stuff out there from like Pirates of the Caribbean and movies where these giant-ass squid just come and fuck everything up.

Speaker 1 That's a good point, actually, because there would be a lot of that violent seal clubbing stuff going around.

Speaker 1 Nobody wants to see that.

Speaker 4 Right. Like live look at the seals and it's just a shark coming in.

Speaker 1 It would be like when the dolphins lose and we do a yeah, true. Okay, good point, good point, good point.
Yeah, you can't make fun of it.

Speaker 1 There was the even the um, the Barcelona Main account did a video of a bear getting tossed like uh food, and the throws were terrible.

Speaker 1 It was like live look at the bears' receivers getting a pass from Trubisky. You can even do it with that type of video.
Yeah, that's a Kraken don't exist. Yeah, so you can't MR.

Speaker 1 There's no footage, okay, it's trash.

Speaker 1 I don't think so,

Speaker 1 I disagree. Um, all right, uh,

Speaker 1 Before we do our Mount Rushmore, we had Christian Pulisic.

Speaker 1 And that was talking soccer. It was talking soccer.
Oh, yeah. And MLS added like the 30th team.
I don't know. I fought with MLS weirdos all day.
That was some good fucking analysis, right? I was.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the Austin. Austin.
No, no, Charlotte was the announced team today. Yeah.
And I just fought with, like, I don't understand how they can keep adding teams.

Speaker 1 It's just a Ponzi scheme. Yeah, it's a Ponzi scheme because you just pay the owners.
Yeah, you pay the existing owners.

Speaker 1 And it's like, isn't the problem right now that there's the talent isn't, there's not enough talent to keep up this league? Big cat's funny. You just keep adding teams.

Speaker 1 It's funny that you mentioned that because I'm squatting on a take right now, and that is getting mad at Christian Pulsic

Speaker 1 for not playing in the MLS. If he truly cared about American soccer, I agree.
He would be over here. And he will when he's like 40.
He will, yeah, when, yeah, maybe even older than that. Right.

Speaker 1 Like when he's got one leg, he'll be. And Hershey, Pennsylvania has a fucking team.
Yep. The 75th franchise in the MLS.
Yeah, but I can't

Speaker 1 wait for the first soccer writer to actually come out with that take that Pulisich is wasting his talent by playing overseas instead of encouraging little Billy and Little Sarah growing up right now to play soccer in America.

Speaker 1 You got more people who are becoming Chelsea fans than they are

Speaker 1 Charlotte FC.

Speaker 1 Charlotte? I think they're just all FCs.

Speaker 1 Not logo, but their abbreviation is just CLT, which is nice.

Speaker 1 Click, click. I will say that Miami team, those jerseys are sick.
Well, anything Miami really. Yeah, I don't know why they don't use pink more in jerseys.
Like,

Speaker 1 you know, like maybe the seams, but those are fucking awesome jerseys. Yeah.
I mean, the NFL does during October. That's true.
That's true. And they pretty much stopped cancer that month.

Speaker 1 They defeated breast cancer, yes. All right.
Finally, Mount Rushmore. We're going to do the Mount Rushmore of PLL players.
Reminder, PLO is back. 4 o'clock on Saturday, 4 o'clock on Sunday.

Speaker 1 The water dogs are playing. Tune in.
We're very excited. Our good friend Paul Rabel, he's back.

Speaker 1 So let's do it. Paul Rabel, by the way, good friend of the show.
I think next year

Speaker 1 Julian Edelman's going to have some competition for Thirst Trap of the Year. Paul Rabel's Thirst Trap.
Is he doing it? He likes to take his shirt off when he's in the field, whip snaking it around.

Speaker 1 Not a bad thing. I would, too, if I were Paul.
But I'm just saying he's an up-and-comer when it comes to the Thirst Trap community. All right.

Speaker 1 Should we start with Billy and go that way, this way? Yeah, yeah. I like having Billy at the end.
Because that way we started to get away with that.

Speaker 1 Someone pointed out that we never do snake drafts correctly until Billy showed up, and now we do them correctly. Yeah, he's a snake charmer.
You're welcome. All right.

Speaker 1 So it's going to go Billy, me, PFT, Hank, and then back.

Speaker 1 Okay, I'm going to go. I'm going to start with

Speaker 1 Steve DiNapoli. Okay.
Interesting. Italian restaurant.
Yeah. Uh-huh.
That's interesting. It does remind me of like a frozen pizza.

Speaker 1 Okay, that is an interesting one because I didn't even have him highlighted. Yeah, me neither.

Speaker 1 I'll go with my easy number one, Tucker Durkin. Love that name.
That is lacrosse through and through. Tucker Durkin.
That's a steel right. Duck, baby.
That is good job.

Speaker 1 I know Chicago guy making a good second pick. Second life.

Speaker 1 Yeah, traded up for it.

Speaker 1 What was the thought process between Steve Gene?

Speaker 1 Oh, you have

Speaker 1 to go with him?

Speaker 1 Okay, so Billy's going to go all Italian, so I might have to fuck him up and get a bunch of people. Go get him switched on the middle.

Speaker 1 My first pick, this one was very clearly the second best one. Blaze Reordin, and it's spelled Riordan, but it's Blaze.
His first name is actually Blaze. Yes.

Speaker 1 Jake, did you call any of his games in college?

Speaker 1 Not him. I know he went to U Albany, but there's a good amount on this list that I.
Oh, wow. U Albany.
Blaze pulled that out.

Speaker 1 I love the fact that a baby came out. Yeah.
And his dad was definitely a lacrosse guy and was like, this kid's named Blaze. Wait, how do you spell Blaze? I can't see it on the show.
B-L-A-Z-E.

Speaker 1 Perfect.

Speaker 4 I'm stunned. I'm actually stunned that this one made it this far.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow. Well, Billy

Speaker 1 was a trash first pick.

Speaker 4 Cade Van Rapphorst.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that one's good. I had him.
I had him, Hank. I had him.

Speaker 4 And then I'll go with.

Speaker 4 I mean, there's a lot of good ones, and I'm worried about not getting any of these on the way back, but I'll go with Gunnar Walt.

Speaker 1 That's a good one. Also, so many of these names lend themselves to literally translates to.

Speaker 4 I mean,

Speaker 4 there's one that's like,

Speaker 4 I'll just say it right now because I want to hear it. B.J.
Grill.

Speaker 1 Oh, but I was going to pick that. I'm going to say

Speaker 1 Billy's cooking because it sucks.

Speaker 1 He is on the water dogs.

Speaker 1 Gunner Walt, I would say, Breaking Bad Series Finale

Speaker 1 would be. That's the literally translates there.
No, it's not your turn. Yeah, Hank just took him.
So you took Gunner, right? Yeah. Yeah.
Good pick. I'm going to go with Brody Merrill.
Just Brody.

Speaker 1 Blaze and Brody. Those two, those are like, those are the Bash brothers of the new generation.
Yep. Those are the TikTok Bash brothers.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Let's see. Let's see.
There's some some good ones here.

Speaker 1 Fuck.

Speaker 1 Damn.

Speaker 1 I really want to,

Speaker 1 knowing that, ah, fuck.

Speaker 1 There's some good ones. There's some good ones.

Speaker 1 I'll go with another lacrosse special. I'll go with

Speaker 1 Ryder Garnesy.

Speaker 1 And it's a good name for just

Speaker 1 like nicknames. Anything that's E-Y

Speaker 1 or E-R.

Speaker 1 He's a hockey or lacrosse player, Garnsey. Ryder, though, with a Y.
Ride or die. Yep.

Speaker 1 Jerry Raganese. Okay.
You're doing all the fancy fuckboys. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think there's more Guido's play lacrosse than you should.

Speaker 1 Canceled.

Speaker 1 Canceled again. Italian Lacrosse.

Speaker 1 We'll do a new. No, we'll have a new art that would put up like days, shows since Billy's been canceled back to zero.

Speaker 1 What are you doing with Guido?

Speaker 1 All right, Billy. Here's a good pick, though.
Another pick.

Speaker 1 I like where your mind's at.

Speaker 1 I'm going to go with Chris Chuccinello. Okay.

Speaker 1 That sounds like a dessert.

Speaker 1 Okay, I will now go.

Speaker 1 I'll go with Tyler Pfister. Good pick.
Ty. Tyler Pfister.
You know that the boys at UVA had some funny fucking jokes about that. Tyler Pister.
Can I do a little bit of a translates with him?

Speaker 1 Yeah, go for it. She's just having a little sex, bro.
She's going to call you back now. There you go.
Perfect. Perfect.
If you know, you know.

Speaker 1 Fuck. That's a good pick.

Speaker 1 My next one, I'm going to go with

Speaker 1 Larkin Kemp. Yep, I had him highlighted.
Larkin had him highlighted. I feel like that's a good thing.
I've never heard Larkin as a first name before.

Speaker 1 I will go with Troy Reh. Yes.
What up? Re? Yep.

Speaker 4 And Callum Robinson.

Speaker 1 I don't even have him. Oh, okay.
Yeah, yeah. I mean, Callum.

Speaker 4 Callum. Callum is his.

Speaker 1 What is that name? Yeah.

Speaker 4 It's as lax as it gets. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 A lot of pressure here for my last one.

Speaker 1 Brad Self. Brad Self.
Brad Self. I just like Brad Self.
You have to have a chatterer, Brad.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Literally translates to.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 I don't have a good one for that one off the top of my head. All right.
I'll go. All right.
My last one then. Hmm.
There's a lot of good ones. Should we go five rounds? Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right, so we'll come back.

Speaker 1 I'll go with.

Speaker 4 And that changes everything.

Speaker 1 Well, there's a lot left.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I get two at the end of the day.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I'll go with Brett Queener. I like that name.
He also probably...

Speaker 1 There was probably a tough time when he was a freshman at Duke being like Queener. You had to transfer to Johns Hopkins.
Brett Queener. Okay.

Speaker 1 Jojo Marasco. That's a good one, Billy.
That's a good one. And then we go with Matt Rambo.
Yep, that's also a good one.

Speaker 1 He's the goat. Yeah, he is.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Matt Rambo. Okay.

Speaker 1 Beast MIDI.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 I'll go with.

Speaker 1 I like this name. This name is not really lacrosse, but

Speaker 1 if you see it, Billy's printing is terrible. So you always have to check the fine printing.
Oh, I didn't see that. Brent Noseworthy.

Speaker 1 Brent Noseworthy. That's good.
Fuck, that's really good. Yeah, I knew Billy's printer just sucks.
Whatever he does, he can't print everything on his page. And I was like, what is that?

Speaker 1 Oh, it's Brent Noseworthy? Okay. All right, I'm down to two.
Last pick. Down to two here.

Speaker 1 I'm going to go. These names are so good.
Brent Noseworthy is fucking awesome.

Speaker 1 I will go with Deemer Class. Okay, that's a Deem at him.
Highlighted Demon. Deemer, great name.
Yep. All right.
Hank, your last pick?

Speaker 4 Someone did Brody Merrill, right? No.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. I got Blazing Brody right off the bat.
That's right.

Speaker 4 I feel like this is just a lacrosse. I feel like this is like a lacrosse namesake.
Like if there was a Mount Rushmore of La Crosse, someone named Donowski would be on it.

Speaker 4 So I'll go with Matt Donowski.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's a good 80s. He's the 80s movie healing.
He's a son of a coach.

Speaker 1 Yeah. The Duke coach.

Speaker 4 Yeah, Donowski is just a...

Speaker 4 When you think lacrosse, you think Donowski.

Speaker 1 Donowski. The Duke Smith.
It's the Duke coach. That's probably why.
All right, so what are the ones we had? I still had.

Speaker 4 Fantasy Fuckboys, Sergio Talsito. Yeah, I love the name.

Speaker 1 For some reason, I love the name Brad Smith just because it seems like a blue check mark would be like, oh, you know, Brad Smith, listening to barstool sports. Like, they can't think of anything

Speaker 1 like Brad Smith. Got him.

Speaker 1 I liked

Speaker 1 Bryce Young. Bryce is a good name.
Mike

Speaker 1 Channanchuk. Ooh, yes.
Jordan Wolf, too. Last name Wolfe is fucking sick.

Speaker 4 Ty Warner.

Speaker 1 Yep. No one had B.J.
Grill. No one picked B.J.
Grill. Kyler Billistri.
We said Kyler, right? Yeah, I also had there's two Notre Dame quarterbacks, Tommy Kelly and Connor Kelly. Those guys definitely,

Speaker 1 they come in for like two games and they suck. And everyone's like, oh, Notre Dame's not good anymore.

Speaker 4 Chris Sabia probably had some bully problems back in the day as well.

Speaker 1 Was he a third baseman on the Reds? Oh,

Speaker 1 Tim Troutner. Tim Troutner.

Speaker 1 Jackson Place.

Speaker 1 Johnny Serdick. Jules Tepple.
Jules Henningberg. His names are fucking great.
Michael Nolan.

Speaker 1 Jack Concannon. Oh, yeah, that's a good one.
Max Tuttle. Max Tuttle's good.
Another Fantasy Boy. Grayson Terrace.
Rabel.

Speaker 1 Rabel? Another Fantasy Fuckboy. Joe Lacaschio.
That's good. Yeah, we should just start doing fantasy fuckboys off the bottom.
Should we switch fantasy fuckboys to just lacrosse

Speaker 1 or lacrosse? Just come up with invent new ones.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Trevor Baptiste. Oh, here's a good literally translates.
He's sick from Denver. Yeah.
Will House literally translates the funeral home.

Speaker 1 Or Billy eats steak. Yeah.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 Joey Sankey.

Speaker 1 That's like, sounds like he's got dangles. Yeah.
He definitely has mad dangles. Joey Sangles got the dangles.
Yeah, boys. Mad dangles.
Mad dangles.

Speaker 1 All right. That is our show.
It is? Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's our show. Brinton.
We'll see everyone on Monday. I love you.
Very excited for Monday's show. Yeah, Monday's show is going to be a big one.
I love you guys. Billy, take us out.

Speaker 1 Hey, guys.

Speaker 1 I wonder what you guys are up to today. You didn't prepare anything.
I didn't prepare anything. But I do have a lot on my mind I can talk about.
Tomorrow, I'm going to be finishing my chicken coop.

Speaker 1 It's my buddy's birthday. Shout out, Rooney.
Happy birthday.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, Fauci.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 That was a tough, tough throw.

Speaker 1 Why is he throwing already? He's in the game. You're like, no.

Speaker 1 He bounced it? I just said, man, now no one's going to wear the masks. Just kidding.

Speaker 1 Alright.

Speaker 1 Anyway, have a good one. Would you say that he flattened his curve? Oh, go follow.
Go follow. Nope.
Go follow. No, no, no.
Go follow

Speaker 1 big dumpers on Instagram.

Speaker 1 Big underscore dumpers. Please send me all your dump trucks.

Speaker 1 Picks. Not me personally in the account.

Speaker 1 Big underscore dumpers. B-I-G underscore D-U-M-P-E-R-S.

Speaker 1 Vanny is still for sale.

Speaker 1 Love you guys.

Speaker 1 to see

Speaker 1 all

Speaker 1 Just a favor that worries away.

Speaker 1 You're all the things I've got to remember.

Speaker 1 I am away.

Speaker 1 I'll come and wear the pretty light.

Speaker 1 Dreams are me.

Speaker 1 Dreams are.