Luke Bryan, Woj Suspended, And Soup Tube Is The Greatest Invention Ever

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we have Luke Bryan. First country music guest? First country music guest.
I believe so. First country music guest on the show.
We're breaking some barriers. We recorded that song with Walker Wheeler.
That's true. We did record that song with Walker Wheeler.
He's a parody of a country.

You know, on the show. We're breaking some barriers.
We recorded that song with Walker Wheeler. That's true.
We did record that song with Walker Wheeler. He's a parody of a country.
This is a real bonafide country music star. First, for everything, very fun interview.
Dude just knows how to name songs straight up. We have Woj, free Woj, hashtag free Woj, trending Woj got suspended.
We have bubble trouble. Who's back of the week and a Monday reading.
We're going to get right back to the show. The last thing you want to hear when you need your auto insurance most is a robot with countless irrelevant menu options, which is why with USAA auto insurance, you'll get great service that is easy and reliable all at the touch of a button.

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All right, back to part of my take.

Okay, let's go.

Boy!

Boy!

Now in the street there is violence.

And I'm not allowed to solve what can be done. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh we're gonna run down to electric everything It's Part of My Take presented by Barstool Sports Welcome to Part of My Take presented by the Cash App Go download it right now, use code BARS So you get $10 for free, $10 for the ASPCA Today is Monday, July 13th I don't, this Woj thing is so fucking annoying.
Yeah, well, he's so he's suspended. And what's interesting is, like, how do you suspend a guy whose job it is to just like spread information? Is he not allowed? Is Woj like, is he muzzled? Can he not tell us? No, he can't tweet.
He's he's not allowed on Twitter. Well, I'm pretty sure that's part of the suspension.
I assume it's a Bobby Bowden, old school Bobby Bowden, first quarter suspension, like, hey, let's let our star quarterback, he can't play for the first drive against Furman in September. That's kind of suspension.
Woj didn't get suspended by ESPN. He went to ESPN.
He's like, here's how long I will allow you to spend me. I'll put it this way.
If we enter like week two in the bubble and Dwight Howard's anaconda kills him in his sleep, is Woj allowed to tweet that out in the morning or does he have to sit on it and wait for Ari Abraham to steal it from him? I think he's going to be suspended for like two days. I think he'll be back in two days.
Listen, you can't stop a bird from singing. You can't stop a rattlesnake from rattling.
You can't stop Woj from dropping Woj bombs. It's the worst type of...
It sucks that... It's the worst element of the internet where everyone's just yelling at each other and no one actually cares about any of this shit, but they're all grandstanding to care about it.
So it's like the what about China and And then also being like, well, Woad should be suspended. But the whole thing sucks.
I don't know. He just said, fuck you.
He should have said, fuck you. That was a dumb thing to do.
It's kind of a hilarious thing to do. It was hilarious.
Saying fuck you in an email is a hilarious thing to do. He was getting trolled and he let himself get trolled.
It showed that his skin is a little bit too thin.

He got trolled.

So it would have been one thing if he replied,

fuck you, to any congressman or senator that sent him a direct question.

That's always hilarious to cuss at a senator.

I think we can all agree on that.

Regardless of the party, I know that Hank wouldn't cuss.

Would you cuss at AOC?

Sure.

Which one?

Okay, which senator or the congressperson? The at de paul is he at de paul creighton creighton yeah that's right right but what i'm saying no to either no to either good take so you you could respond you can cost in general directly the initials aoc i ride or die with you there you go uh you could reply to any email directly sent to you by saying fuck you and saying fuck you to people is always cool right but when you reply to like a chain pr email that got sent to like 500 other people on the listserv with a fuck you that's just bad email management but woge is an idiot for getting trolled but also the fucking rat snitch being like look what woge said to me that's also lame that's also a fucking lame ass move by that reality is everybody in the world or at least in the united states right now is a huge fucking hypocrite and they're all narcs and they're losers because you know what you know what i'm typing on right now i'm typing on a computer i'm typing on a phone that was probably assembled in communist china in one of those buildings that they have to put nets on the outside to prevent people from jumping off to their death. It sucks.

It's just like that's the environment that we're in. And right now, verbal meme, NBA on TNT,

they're doing the Jordan Peele sweat thing.

All the sweats pouring down because they're like,

I hope nobody asks us about China.

Well, and also the weird part about this is not,

I could kind of understand if you want to be like,

LeBron might be a little bit of a hypocrite for like completely shutting down the, like, let's not talk about China. We make a lot of money.
Woj doesn't talk about politics. He just reports the news.
In fact, Woj smashed that like button on Daryl Morey's tweet back like eight months ago. You remember that when Daryl Morey was the one that brought this all to light? Yes.
Woj smashed the like button on that, indicating that he was supporting what Daryl Morey was saying. So, yeah, Woj probably should not have replied to this email with, fuck you.
Probably felt good, though. It probably felt good in the moment that he sent it, because it's always good to tell somebody to fuck off.
But now he's just, I guess, Shams has just taken over the world. I think Schefter's going to sneak in here, too, ESPN is probably...
Schefter probably called up Jimmy Pataro and was like, hey, heard Woj's suspension. I'm ready.
No, this is Ari's time to shine. Ari Abraham, I know you've been laying low for the last year.
Now's your time, buddy. I'm also willing to donate Leroy's account to Woj if you need a burner, Woj.
You can break news under Leroy's account. I got no problem with that.
I think he's going to be suspended for like 24 hours. He's going to be back breaking news on Tuesday.
Well, how can you suspend a person who's just like reporting news? Right. It's the whole thing.
And now people are just replying to everyone being like, well, what about this? Shut the fuck up. Everyone's a fucking dork.
Right. Everyone's a dork.
You don't actually care about this. No one cares about any of it.
Yes. No one cares.
It is the worst type of internet. Everyone's trying to win an argument and run up the score on each other, and no one actually cares about what they're arguing.
They just want points. Right.
You want points. You don't give a shit about the Muslims in China.
Dude. You should care about them.
People should care. In fact, I would say a senator should care about them, but most people that are getting mad about this don't actually give a shit about that they're all dorks in that and there's a new level of uh internet that i've seen pop up recently that is really pissing me off it's the uh solution to every issue is just start a patreon or a subscription list some guy was like if woge got one percent of his followers to sign up for an email list he would have 30 000 people and all paying five dollars a month would be like 1.8 million dollars like dude do you know that there's more to it than just being like let me break news to fucking 20 000 people via an email list serve right like there's more involved than just like when shit goes wrong being like, you know what? Let's do a subscription service.
I do like the idea though of Woj becoming a business like Bloomberg Terminals and just like installing Woj terminals at every sports media company in the world where like you pay $50 a month to get one terminal where one person can log in and see what the news is. And then you allowed to break it with credit to woge everyone's brain is broken now by patreon putting the actual amount of money that you make every month yeah so people just log on to patreon they're like that guy's making fifteen thousand dollars a month what and not even counting any of the overhead any of the costs taxes patreon fee anything they're just like damn dude it's the like like email list serves are literally the future yeah so Billy, would you like to would you like to apologize to President Xi of China? because you've been going after him a lot, we don't want to get in trouble on this show a lot of our listeners we disavowed China a while ago I'm staying disavowing on China here's what we did, was we took the South China Sea back from China on part of my take.
But I'm just curious, like you, I don't want you to get canceled, Billy. I hate Xi Jinping, dude.
Okay. Nice.
Fuck Xi Jinping. Okay, wait, wait, wait.
We weren't going to let Billy talk for the first 20 minutes of the show. Okay, we agree with your sentiment, but you can't use that type of language, so we're going to need you to write an apology letter to Xi Jinping.
Yeah. Yep.
Or else you're suspended from doing whatever it is. Either way, we just sports.
Yeah, whatever. Fucking cooking us hot dogs sometimes.
We just need sports back. We do.
People are just running around just being losers all day on the internet. So speaking of losers on the internet, there was like a big open letter gate last week oh my god i love it and this is maybe my the thing i hate the most about the internet but like i can't stop looking at is people getting mad at the most inconsequential shit so on like monday or tuesday of last week there were a bunch of people that signed an open letter first of all open letters are if you sit down and you write an open letter I don't ever want to talk to you I assume that in between writing your open letter you are just farting into your cupped hand and sniffing it all day long yeah so the internet got open lettered actually so in Harper's I don't first of all I don't give a shit what Harper I don't know what harper is but there was an open letter saying like you have to go to an ivy league school to know what that there was an open letter saying skull and crossbones we we should uh not discourage open conversation in this country which yeah i'm sure everyone is on board with that right and then you had like three days non-stop of people getting mad about the letter yes in harper's and people like at harper's and trying to cancel harper's it's like nobody gives a shit about harper's if you if you don't work in new york media you don't give a fuck about harper's i don't even know what it is i still don't know what harper's is and i care less about it now than i did last week and then you had the people that wrote the open letter getting mad and then writing another open letter then there was a counter open letter yes open letter off it was an open letter off and i just have a theory that everybody involved in this feud is going to die 20 years prematurely because they stay so mad yeah and right up in their neck my favorite part about the uh response letter was a bunch of people signed it but redacted their signature which is just yes the exact opposite of what a signature is.
Yeah, you know what the first open letter was? The Declaration of Independence, and John Hancock put his name front and center on that. You should have redacted that shit.
On his Festival of Ideas letter. Actually, he should have.
He did get canceled. They should have all redacted it.
Well, they all got canceled. Yeah, right.
I think if you look at the stats of the people that signed the declaration, I think 90% of them got permanently canceled by King George. And may I just add, when will Roger Goodell disavow England and their tyrannical approach to Northern Ireland? It's a fact.
And England oversaw Hong Kong for a long time. Also true.
My people in Hong Kong, my protesters. Also true, yes.
We should. So let's.
We're done being mad at the internet the internet's stupid no billy you don't you can't talk for 20 minutes uh let's talk about something funnier ben simmons literally can't throw a fish into the ocean i don't know if it was an ocean it more is like a pond but this if you miss this clip ben simmons caught a fish down in epcot and tried to throw it back, and he missed the water. He hit the ground.
He hit the deck. He hit the deck.
Now it banked in, though. It did bank in.
Banks are open. How he doesn't say, like, yo, let's reshoot that real quick.
Like, we can't put that one out. But that was incredible.
We also bubble trouble. We have the first account of someone saying I've been invited to the bubble.
So a female tweeted out that she's already been invited to the bubble. Do we not want to say her name? We can.
Is it somebody that we know already? No. Okay, don't worry about that.
No, no. I mean, it's just a Twitter account and her pinned tweet.
Hold on. Let me play her pinned tweet.
It's actually, it's very funny.

And the reason why she got invited to the bubble, let's just say it might not have been because she wants to talk about the issues in China.

Her name's at Ugly Anna, a gamer tag.

Is she snacking?

This is her pinned tweet.

I believe I used to wear dresses.

Look at how fat and stupid my ass looks. She's showing her ass being like, how stupid fat my ass is.
So she's officially been invited in. She said that.
Yes. Very healthy.
Yeah. She's going to be quarantined for like three months with everyone? I guess so.
There should just be one woman invited.

Whoa.

What are you asking?

No, I'm just saying. You're getting in weird territory here.

No, I'm saying like one single woman invited.

I don't understand.

What happens to that one woman?

No, just all the guys would actually compete against each other in today's NBA where you're

too used to everyone teaming up and being best friends.

Yeah, they'd start to play defense again.

20 minutes haven't been out.

No, it'd be good for competition.

So yeah, the bubble trouble.

We're in bubble trouble.

I don't know this is i'm feeling somewhat optimistic that things are going to work out well i don't know it's also interesting seeing the players for the first time really experience the quarantine like most of america experienced it because most of these players they've got you know these huge houses are nice facilities to go work out and all that stuff they were never really confined to their living rooms like a lot of America experienced it because most of these players, they've got, you know, these huge houses or nice facilities to go work out and all that stuff. They were never really confined to their living rooms like a lot of America was.
Now they're in this bubble and they're in these hotel rooms and they are getting their first taste of it. And they're experiencing it exactly like we did.
Like I saw one player being like, Hey, if this tweet gets 50,000 retweets, I'll shotgun a beer on live stream. That was JJ Reddick? Yeah, it was JJ.
So that's exactly what we all went through for that

first week. They're going to be loving Zoom

meetings. I also am very excited

for the journalists who have now gone into quarantine

being like, pray for me. I have to be

sitting in this room for seven

days straight. What are you doing?

Stop. I would go if I was

asked to the bubble. Do you think that would be good for

ratings to have just me as a bubble correspondent in there for like,

no, it would suck.

No, it would suck.

It's kind of fun.

No.

Three months.

It would suck.

One woman, only, what's her name, Ugly?

It would be fine.

I think the players can do, I think the players are going to be able to do whatever they want.

I think the journalists are going.

Yeah, we're talking about going as journalists, not as players.

Yes, let me take that back, Hank. I would definitely go as a player.
I would go play in the NBA, if allowed. We're talking about being as journalists.
I think they're going to be very strict with that. Yeah, they are.
I think for me, after maybe a month and a half, I start to look pretty good to a lot of the players. Yeah, Mark Stein's tweet was depressing.
He said, after an even 120 nights in a row at home personal record seven consecutive days in quarantine without leaving the room starts later this evening yes that's the thing yeah so uh pray for our journalist friends who are seven days in a row who are then gonna get all the interviews yeah and all the podcasts downloads so shut the fuck up i've also heard that to paul milsap too he doesn't have a window in his room oh my god really that wait that's illegal yeah fire hazard you can't have a bedroom with no window not to code i lived in a bedroom with no window it's called right it was illegal yeah i remember that cribs you did well it's florida who knows that's gonna fuck with his circadian rhythms he's not gonna know when it's morning you better get a sun lamp pronto it is funny that all the journalists are like man this is going to be with his circadian rhythms. He's not going to know when it's morning.
You better get a sunlamp pronto. It is funny that all the journalists are like, man, this is going to be so tough.
And they then get every single story for the next three months. It's going to be nice.
For a league they cover. It's going to be nice.
Imagine if you had young kids at home and somebody was like, hey, would you like to go live in Orlando for three months away from your young children? And you're like, oh, yeah, it's going to be tough. Sorry, babe, I got to go.
Work calls three months away. Sorry.
I got to go hang out by the pool. Every single day.
All right, so we had that. We have UFC, Fight Island.
Thoughts? Seemed pretty good. Here are my fights.
I mean, the title fight stunk. Well, the title fight was, it's the Mayweweather fight uzman's fucking mayweather where he's just boring here's my and he stomps he foot stomps holly got robbed holly did get robbed my entire thoughts on the evening are fuck espn plus it's the worst app in the history of the world every time there's a fight this is what happens every single time i buy it on my phone doesn't work on my phone i try to log in on my computer doesn't work on my computer.
I try to log in on my computer. Doesn't work on my computer.
I try to log back in on my computer. Dude, I told you.
I have to buy it again on my computer. What did I say? Now I've got two receipts in my emails for purchasing this fucking fight.
Then I log back in on my phone. Still doesn't work.
Then I get it on my computer. Then I'm finally able to put it on AirPlay.
Why don't you just log into the same account everywhere? I do. It's the same account.
Why don't you just log in on your TV? Because it's not on my TV. You don't have a smart TV? I do have a smart TV, but I'm dumb.
You definitely have it on your TV. No, I don't.
Yes, you do. It's an LG.
There's no app for ESPN Plus on my TV. No, you download the ESPN app.
There's no app for ESPN on my TV. Yes, there is.
There's got to be. There's 100% an app.
If you watch Netflix and Amazon Prime, you have an app for ESPN on your TV. Every time there's a fight, it takes me 45 minutes and I end up buying it twice.
Listen, I'm with you. I'm the one who initially was like, just give me a button, old school pay-per-view, but there's an app for ESPN on your TV.
I don't think that there is because I've looked high and low. Do you watch Amazon Prime? I watch Amazon Prime.
Do you watch Netflix? Yes. Do you watch Hulu? Yes.
There's absolutely an app for ESPN on your TV. I haven't found it yet.
You can download it. I deleted it after Woj replied fuck you to the senator.
I thought that was highly inappropriate so I'm not supporting them anymore. Yeah Fight Island.
I mean it was good to talk about sports. The title fight did suck.
Also Aldo getting like I'm all for like you know like guys punching each other in the face but that Aldoo, like I had to look away. Yeah, that fight was disgusting.
Yeah, and then he just popped up. It was like, he looked fine.
It was probably a minute. The fight was stopped.
The camera angle, too, was brutal. In his face, just watching him like die.
They could have stopped that fight a minute earlier and it still would have been 30 seconds too late. Usman, though, foot stomping.
I mean, that's just. That should be illegal.
It should be. It's more like just a pride thing, dude.
Like, beat someone without stomping their toes in. Right.
It's like, I'm going to stub your toes to death. Like, they outlawed the fish hook for the same reason.
It just sucks to have it done. It also felt...
It did feel like a Mayweather fight where you're watching and you're rooting for Masvidal and you're like, oh, if he can just catch him once and just never happened because Usman's just a beast and was able to just wear him down. So, I don't know.

The end, I think UFC's, like, the way it's different than a Mayweather fight or a big boxing interview is the undercard is always going to be worth it.

There will always be some big fights.

But it does always suck being awake at, like, 2 in the morning and having the big title fight suck.

And you're just like, well, okay. And then a bunch of people tweeting you like, dude, I can't believe you spent money on that.
Yeah. Not all.
I can't figure out how to stream shit illegally. And also we want to support our friends or stream shit legally.
They should, they should have Usman and Khabib fight and McGregor and, and Mazda ball fight. Yes.
That would be awesome. Yeah.
I hate it when they match up a grappler with a boxer. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
But at least it could be when he, when he grapples someone, he like, he just basically terminates them. Yeah.
He doesn't just, he doesn't grapple him to wear him down. He's like, I'm going to tap you out and fuck you up.
I'm going to put my shoulder through your face. Right.
I'm not just going to like lay on top of you for a while. I'm going to break every bone in your body.
Shout out Thug Rose. Yes.
What a fucking cool name that is. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. If your name was Thug, is there any chance that you would not go by Thug? If your name was Thug? Yeah.
I would go by Thug Rose, not just Rose. Wait.
If your name was... Say it again.
Thug Rose. Thug Rose.
Yeah. Her name's Rose.
She needs to imply more heavily that her name is Thug. Right.
Wait, but her name's Rose. I think her name's Thug Rose.
No, her name's Rose. I thought her name was Thug Rose.
No, her name's Rose, and Thug is her nickname. Thug Rose is her nickname.
That makes a lot more sense. I was like, her name's...
PFT. This is a very, like, you're talking to my dad last, like, five minutes.
The point is... This Thug girl is pretty cool The point is I couldn't download it but man And then the sound cut out On the fucking live stream And then every three minutes It would revert back to the minimal size video And I'd have to get up Walk across the room And hit the full screen button again How's this person named thug? Well I know what I going to name my daughter now.
Actually, no, we don't say the T word anymore. Yeah, posse rose.
No, we don't say the P word either. We say entourage rose.
I wasn't trying to say thugs, I was trying to say like... Oh, slug rose.
Slug rose, yeah. Slug rose.
Yeah, John Bayline. Yeah, sl slug rose she's acting like a slug out there um all right let's do let's do who's back of the week before we do that pft you have an ad real quick we're gonna get right back to the show you know it's music to dog's ears delivery playtime and simperica trio simperica trio means outside and having fun, knowing your dog is protected.
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All right, back to part of my take.

Okay, let's do who's back of the week.

Hank, why don't you start?

My who's back of the week is Cake.

Cake.

The band. Cake.
Going the distance is Cake Cake The band Cake Going the distance Cake How so There was a tweet I mean talk about Really stupid shit That people were talking about online But this is good stupid shit This was like the stupidest shit But it's like one of those things Where it's like You go off your phone for a day All of a sudden Everyone's talking about Cake There was a video That started from tasty where there's a video titled these are

all cakes it's like a three minute video and it's just all you should watch it if you haven't it's just all these it looks like a crock it looks like a you know like a science set it looks like a bar of soap it blew my mind it looks like a laptop like it looks like a head and they're just sneaking cakes into everything and it's just cake so then everyone convinced themselves that you know maybe the world is just a giant cake.

I like this.

Like the Matrix, the cake.

I like this.

So we're all just one giant piece of cake okay that's that's a good way to look at the world is delicious cupcakes are shaking in their boots it did it did fuck me up for a little bit like i just look around and you have to wonder is that cake is is this desk a piece of cake am i made of cake no this desk is from wayfair it's okay it's bringing it's got into us so it's pizza yes this desk is pizza not cake got it but everything else it's a pie it's actually the whole world is just uh wayfair products with children abducted and cake okay um i should one or the other binary system i checked the PMT assignment desk that I built because that was purchased off Wayfair. No kids.
No kids. We need sports back so bad, man.
We're so online. It's so bad.
The world's going insane. It's so fucking bad.
That said, I guarantee you those cakes, there's nothing to do. They looked awesome, but I guarantee you they taste like shit.
Oh, yeah, because they have to use the different sugar, right, to make it the hard sugar and stuff? Yes. It sucks.
It's a complete waste of cake. Right.
It's like, what was the show, Cake Boss? He made some good cakes, but he also made some cakes where it was like, this cake looks incredible, but it tastes like shit. I'm going to make a cake that looks exactly like a cake, and it's going to be fucking bonkers.
Oh, so good. What about a cake that looks like a pie? Ooh, that's good, too.
That would pie that would be cool that'd be a mind fuck what if the world was just like one big cherry cordial and so the center of the core of the earth is just like liquid goodness that would be good as well that was one of the you know were any of them ice cream cakes i'll give you i'll give you a verbal meme of an actual meme but it was like an astronaut looking at the world getting cut in half as a cake and his he had a speech bubble that said the world is cake and then there was another astronaut behind him with a gun that said it's been cake the whole time oh but he's gonna shoot him because he found out but he's gonna shoot a cake who's the guy behind him with the cake gun who knows that gun isn't even loaded so the second astronaut is the baker. He's like the one that designed it all.
Yeah. Right.
God is a baker. Damn.
Okay. Colin Coward's an atheist.
We're high, but it's good. All right.
What is your Who's Back the Week PFT? My Who's Back the Week? Yeah, I do feel high right now. My Who's Back the Week is taxes.
Oh, yeah. So, yeah.
Taxes are due on Wednesday. I almost forgot, too, so I made a note.
In this economy? In this economy, taxes are back, Hank. How? So, we got a delay.
And when they gave us... Oh, wait, wait.
No, because they got delayed, but now we can get our extension. Oh, yeah.
No, I always get my extension, but is our extension delayed, or is it October 15th? I think the extension's delayed, but don't quote me on that. Shit.
But do you really want to be paying taxes in December? Yeah. Or during football playoffs? Future me.
When you're down a lot of money gambling? Yeah, that's a tax write-off. That's true, yeah.
Perfect. Good point.
Gambling's legalized. Taxes are back big time.
Nope, Billy. You're almost up.
Not yet, Billy. All right, my Who's Back of the Week is Supermarket Sweep.
It's on Netflix. I guess it had been on Netflix or some one of these apps for a while.
But it's on Netflix now. Now you have to figure out how to watch it.
And it's such a fucking throwback and awesome. If you don't remember it because you're too young, watch it.
It's a hilarious show set in a supermarket. It's pretty much exactly how it sounds.

It's like guys grocery games in standard definition.

Right.

But it's also funny watching the very relatable moments of one of the guys.

They bring down three teams of two and trying to find stuff in a grocery aisle, which is the hardest thing in the world.

But then in front of cameras and with a buzzer and a timer.

And then they have to go through with the carts and everything.

It's a great game. It's also just weird seeing the hair and the fashion.
Throwback to the 90s. It's a different planet.
It's simpler time. What was the game where they just sent you through a supermarket and whatever you could fit in your cart that you got to keep? That's Supermarket Suite.
Okay,'s the well no you're the winner at the end you fit you try to get as much as you can you can fill you could fill your cart then you can bring it back and get a new cart and you try to get the biggest grocery bill okay you can only take five of one item and you can't spill anything i i would just go for the cologne well cologne and grocery store is like so overpriced but you can get a shitload of it into your It's like hams, hams, the cheeses, the ground coffee, some of the nuts. I would just take my shopping cart and go to a Whole Foods and then come back and be like, look at this fucking bill.
Diapers. There's a whole strategy behind it, but it's a great show.
Filet mignons. The big filet mignons.
There you go. All right, Bill, you can talk now.
So who's your who's back? Who's back the week? I'm going to go with bats. Okay.
Yeah, bats cause corona, and I'm also dealing with a bat problem. So I might die of rabies in five months unless I think it's not.
Wait, so why might you die of rabies? Have you been bitten? No, so like last night- How do you know you have a bat? I found a bat in my house. Why don't you kill it? In your barn.
Don't say your house. It's a barn.
So I was running around trying to find this bat because I went to my neighbor's house to get a tennis racket and I came back to kill the bat. And then the bat was gone.
So I couldn't find the bat. It was hiding somewhere.
Billy doesn't kill animals. The bat knows your reputation.
Did you leave the door open? There was a window open. But then my basement, I mean, the whole thing flooded.
Because of the bat? No, because of the tropical storm. My barn flooded, and then the bat was flying around, and it was just like a whole situation.
So anyway, after all this chasing the bat, I couldn't find the bat in the house, so I went to sleep. But it turns out you're not supposed to do that because the bat can bite you in your sleep, and you don't know if you get hit by a bat.
You're sleeping in the flood? No, well, I have a raised bed now. I took the mattress off the floor.
Oh, congrats. Yeah, so.
that's a big step in any young man's life is the second that you get a bed frame and like maybe even a box spring yeah so then the flood didn't get me so why are you wearing the vibram shoes billy's wearing the shoes the toe shoes that uh that early crossfitters and weird weird dad dads Bald dad Kayakers and mountain climbers. If you can see Billy right now, from the waist up, he looks like he's ready to start the second Civil War with his Hawaiian shirt.
And from the waist down, he looks like he's ready to catch that fucking roadrunner. Those shoes, the Vibrams that you're wearing, the toe shoes, you basically are saying, like, in the suburbs but I'm committed to living an extreme outdoor life from 2 o'clock to 5 every Saturday.
I have rabies. Okay, so why are you wearing the shoes? I put them on on Friday and then I haven't taken them off since because you don't have to.
That is weird. You don't have to.
You shower with them? Yeah, it actually cleans them off. No.

So you walk through your flooded basement and then just get in a bed with them? No, I washed

and I spray them down with the hose. The outside.

And you wear them to bed. Yes, he sleeps

in those. You can sleep in them.
Yeah, you can,

but you can do a lot of... You can sleep in anything.

Billy, you can go chug a gallon of

antifreeze if you want to. Well, no, you can't.

I'm sick and tired of these expectations

of society. You are

physically capable of

chugging antifreeze. What? You shouldn't.

And I'm sick and tired of these expectations of society. You are physically capable of chugging antifreeze.
You shouldn't. I'm saying there's a lot of things that you can do, but like sleeping in wet shoes.
They weren't wet vibros. And then earlier before the show, you were like, I'm going to stream all night tonight because I got to catch this bat.
And I was curious how streaming Call of Duty is going to help catch the bat. No, I going to stay up all night to find this bat.
But you're going to be focused on the game. Right.
Yeah. Well, I'm going to see the bat flying around.
I'm going to be playing and then the bats can fly around. And you're going to pause it? Yeah, I'm going to pause the game and catch the bat because if I catch the bat, then I can test the bat for rabies so I don't have to get a bunch of shots in my stomach.
You got to watch that one scene from Black Sheep. No, I'm not going to catch it.
I'm going to kill it, but you can't. Something about testing.
How are you going to test this bat for rabies? I don't have to get a bunch of shots in my stomach. You gotta watch that one scene from Black Sheep.
No, I'm not gonna catch it. I'm gonna kill it, but you can't.
Something about testing. How are you gonna test this bat for rabies? You call the housing commission or something.
Yeah, and they're gonna be like, sure thing, Billy Football. We'll be right out to test your bat with rabies.
No, you take the bat to the thing. You know what they're gonna do? They're gonna show up, they're gonna take the bat, and they're gonna kill it in the fucking the back of their van.
No, I'm gonna kill the bat. You can't crush the bat can't crush the bat's skull.
Your bar has rabies. Alright Billy, here's what you do.
You open up your refrigerator and you turn all the lights off in the house and the bat will be attracted to the light. That's moths.
Have you thought about dressing up as Joker? I actually might turn into Batman. That would be a sick way to do the stream.
Dress up like Joker the Joker the whole time and be like, come on out, Batman. The Joker isn't like funny anymore.
Like cute. It's just kind of everyone's just taking it.
Well, he's got mental issues. Right.
Why do we fuck up the Joker? Well, then why don't you be the Jack Nicholson version of the Joker? That one's fucked up too. Be Mr.
Penguin. Not really.
Oh, yeah. Be Mr.
Penguin. Oh, yeah.
Or the Riddler. That one isn't that bad.
Yeah. The Riddlers, I mean, that's a lot of playing.
Bane, you love masks. I love Bane.
Oh, I'd be Bane. Alright, so be Bane.
Where is the mask? There we go. Perfect, you got the voice.
War zone. Keep going.
Give us something else. Nobody cared who I was until I put on these shoes.
That was me who said that. Yeah, that was Billy.
All right, let's get to our interview. We got Luke Bryan coming up in a minute.
We're going to get right back to the show. Hey, buddy.
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Okay, here he is, Luke Bryan. Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest.
It is a country music performer. He won 2013 Entertainer of the Year by the Academy of Country Music Awards.
He's got a new album out. It's called Born Here, Live Here, Die Here.
It's Luke Bryan. Thank you so much for joining us, Luke.
We appreciate it. The new album.
Let's start there. Live Here, or sorry, Born Here, Live Here, Die Here.
Where's here? We talking Nashville. We talking Georgia, Georgia, Leesburg, Georgia, little peanut, little peanut growing town down in the Southwest part of Georgia.
Yeah. Okay.
Would you say that you're the most famous peanut farmer from Georgia? If I'm not, I got trouble. Well, I'm looking right now.
Jimmy Carter only has 67,000 Twitter followers and you've got like 9 million. So I think hands down.

I got Jimmy handled. I got I got Jimmy B.
But, you know, it's a little bit of a misnomer because I wasn't technically a peanut farmer, but I worked in ag and we owned a peanut meal. So we would buy peanuts from the farmer.
Got it.

Okay.

Yeah.

Okay.

That's how, and that's how we get our peanut butter, uh, you know, in the stores and everything.

You're the, you're the guy who makes it happen. So the first process is the farmer, the farmer to grow it.
The second process is for my dad's meal to get it out of the field and get it ready to go to the shelling plant for, for peanut butter. Okay.
Would there be like a certain peanut butter that your dad's peanuts would go to? Like, were you a Reese's family or a Jif or what? You know, there, well, there's several companies, you know, I never knew when they went on from us, you know, they go out and they just become a commodity at that point. So it's, heck, I could never tell.
At some point, I think were selling to reese's quite a bit or they made it good work yeah so so you put die here in the album title so i i think i it's fair for me to ask have you thought at all maybe of getting like a peanut shell casket when you do eventually die in like 50 years say 50 years they can. Okay, long life, but can we maybe get that started?

I almost said y'all have eaten.

Yes, there's a good chance you might have eaten my nuts.

Okay, nice. We've had your nuts.
They're delicious.

So, real question here.

So, the new album's coming out week of July 13th.

Is it weird that you're not able to tour this summer?

How has that thrown off your schedule?

Because I assume every summer since however long you can imagine, you've been out on the road playing songs for people especially country music summertime there's nothing better yeah man it's been a it's been a learning process to retrain my body on what sleep feels like like I mean I've slept more consistent you know I've slept more consistently for never in my life you know even because hell you roll out of college I rolled out of college and I went and worked for my dad and then I went from working for my dad to leaving and going and getting in the music business so now you know I've kind of been like a regular regular dad but um But so, but, you know, it's been pretty, you know, it's just been a big, a big learning thing. You know, my wife and I, we haven't divorced yet.
So I'm pretty proud of that. That's good.
Yeah. And, but, you know, the main thing is you really, really get accustomed to working a lot.
And you do miss work. You know, it's fulfilling.
It's fun. crazy I mean being on a tour bus playing for fans so certainly missing that but um you know trying to you know trying to travel a little bit and see some spots and have some fun you know fun stuff with my family my my nephew graduated high school and he's going off to college so trying trying to really have some time with him this summer.
Yeah, that sounds nice. Yeah.
When you were growing up, was your family supportive of you getting into the songwriting game or were they like, hey, we need you to be a peanut shelling plant manager? Was there any pressure to follow in the family business? You know, my dad, man, my dad was like, get your butt out of here. You know, he was really, and my mother too, but, you know, they were hardworking people.
And, you know, I think you'd be amazed. I mean, I've met so many artists, so many country singers and songwriters that their parents didn't have their back their parents just their parents almost shamed them for having a dream and man that wasn't my scenario I mean my my parents were like we we want the best for you we they believed in me and you know so they were or it was they were just trying to kick me out either way they were just they were they were excited but they they were really behind what was it like when you were trying to make it in Nashville as a country music singer because I would assume everything I know about Nashville it's just full of people trying to make it as country music singers so was it competitive was it like night in and night out you see someone you're like oh that person where do I stack up against them that must have been an interesting time and place to be.
Yeah, it's everything you just brought up. I mean, when you leave Georgia, and I had developed a pretty good little college following, playing bars and college bars in Georgia.
So I kind of thought that I had it. I was a little bit ahead of the game.
You know, I'd spent a lot of time performing on stage, but I'd never really recorded albums and I'd never really had a big time. I'd never really written a lot of songs.
So when I get to Nashville, you know, I'm trying to figure out, you know, you can get, you can get, you can deviate off your path. You can kind of go down the wrong road and, and hell, next thing you know, two years, you know, you just wasted two years.
Well, with me, I was a little more mature. I was 25 years old when I moved to Nashville.
So I was a little smarter about, you know, well, I was kind of like, well, these guys, they're cool dudes, but they really don't seem like, you know, they're just drinking and partying all the time. And they don't really have a clear vision.
And then so I kind of was able to really focus in on the right moves to make and really really hit the ground running and um man just you know and then you start you know the main thing was I got there and I started working my butt off right away I started writing a lot and I got a I got a publishing deal on music row writing you know two three songs a day, going out, catching shows, networking, networking, you know, and then I realized real quick that I was a little fish in a big pond, you know, and I had to get better fast to really compete. I mean, because that's what it is.
I mean, when you move to Nashville, you know, you're competing for all of the other guys and girls that are trying to get on a record label. I mean, they're all you're vying for a you're vying, you're you're you're you're competing for a small spot.
so you better get good quick or you'll be in and out of there so thankfully i met some really

you know smart people people that showed me the ropes on, you know, did I make some mistakes? Did I lose some money? I did some things that cost me a little money early on. But you work through it and thank God, you know, you come out on the other end and man, it's amazing.
I mean, you know, even when you feel like when you know you've made it and you can just go enjoy having fun knowing that you made it. Yeah.
You know, and you have to you don't have to doubt, you know, you don't I don't have to doubt. Was it worth putting it all on the line? I mean, I know it was now just make sure I go have fun from here to the end of time.
What was that like writing songs for other people and thinking like at the same time, you're trying to make it as a solo artist? Are you writing a song and you're like, man, I could sell this to Travis Tritt or I could put this in my back pocket because I know this one's a hit. Yeah, there's a lot of stress

that can happen in those moments when you're, you know, I never really, when, you know, some of my early songs that got recorded, obviously Travis Tritt recorded one and then Billy Currington had a, you know, had a number one song. And I had a little bit of anxiety about releasing these songs, But my but you know what, if I'm waking up, you know, the, the thing that some early, some early artists and songwriters do is they act like they're never going to write another great song.
You know, if you, if you think that you're going to write one or two great songs in your history, then you're really not aiming high enough. You know, my approach was as long as I'm showing up every day and I'm writing my butt off and I'm working, working, working, you know, better songs will come.
And what actually happened is I was able to learn and hone in who I was as an artist and what I was going to be even better by writing more songs. You know, I mean, even the first couple of songs I wrote, you know, they were just songs that I just wrote.
And I went and recorded them at a demo session. And hell, I wasn't even singing.
You know, I wasn't, you know, my voice hasn't even reached what it would become. So it's like anything, you know, you know, and even in sports, you know, if you're a great route runner, if you're a slow, if you're slow receiver, but you're a great route runner, you can, you can figure out how to catch the ball.
You know, you can. And so with me, I mean, I, I had all the tools, but I hadn't lined them all up at the right time.
And when you finally line them all up, you're writing great, you're singing great, you're performing great, you're making all the right business moves. That's when it kind of that's when it goes to the next level.
So you I don't you're kind of a genius when it comes to the naming of your songs. Is that intentional? Because it's so straightforward.
For people who don't know, some of my favorite names of Luke Bryan's songs, One Margarita, Drink a Beer. That one's about beer.
You have, let's see, there's other ones, Knocking Boots. It's just straightforward.
My favorite is We Rode in Trucks. You know what that song's about.
I'm being honest, though. The simplicity of it is kind of genius because it's like, this is what the song is about.
Here you go. Do you do that intentionally? So you're going on the record to call me a genius.
I actually think that. I think a lot of times people overthink what they're trying to give to their fans and you know what your fans want and countryman that's a song there it is so when you take my drunk ass home that's a song like that's just it's there there it is that one a real one that's a real one take my i love it like it's it's there's some genius in it were you a stone temple Temple Pilots fan? I used to dabble, yeah.
All right, what's the Interstate Love song about? It's about that riff. The song is about a riff.
Yep. So, you know, I remember being a kid.
Now, I loved – hell, I loved Metallica. I loved – you know, I loved – but, you but you know like pearl jam i never understood what the hell they were talking about well jeremy that's pretty straightforward yeah i mean a crazy kid right yeah but you're right you're right yellow led better you you can't understand what he's saying at all right now i'm not knocking their music i'm gonna get some hate mail but it was amazing i mean i played it 24 7 but you know i think in country you know country is really good about keep it you know there's a there's a funny it's almost like keep it simple stupid you know just keep it simple you know have some fun you know i've always you know've always, anytime, man, I could put a big old fun song out that you don't really have to try to cure the world of all of its problems.
I mean, man, like you look at One Margarita. I mean, that's, I mean, dude, I've gone about two years.
That's made become my biggest song of my career.

Right.

And, man, it's just big fun.

There's nothing scientific about it.

One margarita, two margarita, three margarita shot.

Now, who doesn't want to do that?

Right.

Right?

That's my point, though.

There's some types of entertainment that it's okay.

I think what's happened is people look down on certain types of entertainment where you turn your brain off and you just enjoy it right and that's kind of what this is like you can turn your brain off and enjoy it there's nothing there's no deeper meaning than hey look drinking margaritas is fun let's have the sun's out it's a fucking fun time you have that other song what was the uh the sunburnt one the uh sunrise sunburn

sunset sunset that's a fucking day you just explained today you told a story in a song time sunrises you get a little burn sunsets hey keep it simple stupid yeah so have you thought about just throwing out there uh a title i was thinking maybe just drunk again or just like biceps.

Suns out, guns out.

That's the song title right there. I'm Luke.
A little double entendre. That should be a little autobiographical song.
You could maybe make that one a little slower. Get the, when they do the blue mood lighting on stage, you sit down and it's just, I'm Luke.
And it's just a solo. I mean, I can write shotgun and shit.
Yeah. Can we just, is it okay if we just throw you out some song titles and you can, you know, bounce them off you? Hey, you guys, you know what? You might have to write.
In five minutes, we can write my next four albums. Okay.
Little Miss Daisy Duke. Ooh.
That one might be a little too much. I'm a little confused.
A little bit. Them Daisy Duke jeans.

Cute dogs.

Hunting dogs.

Hunting dogs.

Rusty Fender.

Rusty Fender.

That's a good one.

That sounds like a NASCAR driver.

Yeah, yeah.

Dirty tires.

That's pretty good.

I'm all about that good time.

Yeah.

Black.

Let me see. Baseball.
Oh, black smoke? That's good. Okay.
What about ball game? Ball game can get weird. Fast cars, faster women.
Parentheses ain't all they cracked up to be. What about just game day? That could be any sport.
Oh, yeah. Game Day.
ESPN kind of messed us up on that. No, but you should just ride the coattails on that.
You've been on Game Day. You could just call it Not So Fast, my friend.
See, we're already, that's 12 titles right there. That's the next album.
I think I actually tweeted, I think I had a tweet in like 2015 where I said, oh yeah finally we get luke bryan on college game day that was sarcastic just so you know was it yeah it was i don't they play they play your songs all the time on game day so i think i was being sarcastic yeah um i was like finally taken that can be taken as two ways yeah so listen Today is, we didn even plan this by the way today is a monumental day uh it's uh tuesday margarita day taco tuesday my my english cocker and my chocolate lab debuted on barstool instagram today oh what a year ago two years ago? Two years ago? How long ago? No, just today. Today? Oh, wow, I got to go look at it.
Pull it up. You should have a song named English Cocker.
That could get confusing. That could get Cocker English.
Dog days, but it's actually just about dogs. Just a day in the life of your dog dog? What about cock her? Two different words.
You said it, not me. Yeah.
Okay. While we're getting stuff off our chest, I had a tweet from 2015.
This is when the Panthers were playing the Cowboys on Thanksgiving Day. I just want to be open and honest about in case you did your research ahead of time.
I tweeted Luke Bryan more like puke Bryan. But in in fairness that was a fraud tweet on my part because i wasn't even listening i was in a bar and the sound was off and i just figured i'd jump in and pile on the roast that was going on uh i ended up watching the performance later i was like that's actually pretty good uh so i'd just like to apologize in case you'd seen that uh and also ask you do you read your mentions on twitter so not you know what man your first few years in it you want to beat everybody's ass you just you do and then you just you just then you just chalk it up to like you know there's been some dudes that like if i see them yeah i'm just gonna have to say something name names nah uh-huh but i got them yeah it's just like i just put them in the little old red neck go redneck on your ass point of my brain because i don't you know i do have that side of me i'm just really good at controlling it right but but you've made it like you said that had to be the moment like what was the moment that you officially said you know what i've made it like i don't have to care about what people say about me yeah i had i had a i got a buddy of mine he goes luke just anytime you get pissed off at the world just reach down there and pat that front hip pocket.
I like that. That's very good advice.
Yes. What, in your opinion, is the greatest country song ever written? Man, the greatest country song ever written.
I mean, historically, he stopped loving her today. You know, when you look at, you know, it's's hard to top that one but personally my favorite country song is what i'd say it's a song written it's a it's a it's an old earl thomas

conley song called what i'd say and it's a when i was a kid it was the first time i remember being

a kid and going man that dude is hurting his ass is hurting you know and that's why i'd always

Thank you. It was the first time I remember being a kid and going, man, that dude is hurting.
His ass is hurting, you know, and that's why it always stuck with me. Interesting.
I've always wondered, because I grew up listening to country music. What is a honky tonk? How is a honky tonk different from just a bar? Well, you know, the key elements of a honky tonk are a sawdust dance floor, a tip, mostly a jukebox that spins vinyl records.
Just old band, like a band in the corner behind, you know, honk, you know, honky tonks, you know, the honky honky tonky tonks were man they were a thing of beauty back when they were most of you know honky tonks typically had oyster shells in the parking lot okay so somewhere around the gulf maybe what's that somewhere around the gulf of mexico well but it was just it was just another fun little element i mean if you're walking into a place it's got neon neon lights certainly neon lights in the window jukebox you know a small dance floor i mean i play you know just shady old characters there you know you got you You got people that just, they're just there every day. You know, some of them have shoes on, some of them don't.
Damn old mangy dog laying in the floor, that's a honky-tonk. No air conditioning.
Yeah. We play a game on this show called We Read a Headline.
And this headline, I need you to just explain it to me. This is actually from uh what's today's date this is actually from like four days ago luke luke brian's wife caroline attacked by turkey with a bad reputation what the fuck dude so here's the thing people will actually question where whether i'm country or not i'm like well i don't get it anyway read the headline dude yeah your wife's getting attacked by turkeys so we so i've got a buddy i got a buddy of mine that thought it would be funny so we've got this little rescue animal barn and we've got some little miniature horses and donkeys and we've got sheep and goats and all kind of stuff and my wife man she she goes down there and feeds these animals every day and loves on them and man it's her like it's her you know she gets you know every evening man she drives down there and she loves on these animals it's truly like what she does to get away well i got this crazy buddy that dropped a damn attained white turkey drop you know drop the turkey off and um and his name is al and he's become kind of famous my wife posts pictures of al all the time so al lives at our farm.
We've had him about three years. And my wife just loves the turkey.
You know, the dogs will go down there and literally the dogs will go down there and just whoop the shit out of Al, you know, just attack him. Tear all his feathers out.
My wife will take him to the vet. He'll stay at the vet, grow his feathers back.
know so about once every six months you know something whoops al's ass well as al has grown and become a mature turkey the wild turkeys at the farm come and whoop his ass about once every three days so al has gotten more aggressive well. Well, you know, you've heard of like cockfighting, right? Well, the reason why, you know, they have spurs.
Turkeys have long spurs. Have y'all ever seen them? Yeah.
So they're about an inch long. Well, Al's spurs are an inch long.
So my wife is feeding at the barn and she turns to get on her golf cart and that damn turkey runs up and spurs her behind the kneecap. And you know, you know, those two big tendons that run behind your, you know, the two big ones that run behind your kneecap, dude, that spur hit her right in that tendon and folded her up like yeah folded her up jeez so where does this turkey's reputation come into play it feels like maybe they were demonizing the turkey but in the headline he's become well he's become just famous from his shenanigans he's always you know he'll run the cable guy he'll run the cable guy up in the you know you know he he hates me like if i get out of my truck

he'll he's trying to attack me and you know turkeys pull let's just say poultry in general

they don't if you go kick the hell out of them they don't remember that you kicked them okay got it they don't they don't they don't go oh this guy you know they just don't have that element so we we we captured al and moved him to another farm way out in the country okay good so we can have this bad reputation somewhere

else so you've got to have a song you know big al or or al with the bad bye bye big al bye bye if i were you i would have you did you see my dogs on this yes very good looking dogs i would very good looking i would have insisted that we eat big al like the ultimate bit of revenge well let me just say that you remember that little redneck i went redneck and i drove to the barn to rid us i mean when you so first of all when a turkey spurs you so caroline my wife she had to get on steroids she had to do antibiotics like you know You don't know what kind of bacteria is on a turkey spur. I'm like, that's all I need is my wife to die from a damn turkey attack.
Anyway, but I went down there to handle Al like my dad would have, but my wife pleaded with me. Spare Al.
I really, I mean, I have so much money invested in that turkey, you know. You know, like those tuna, those million-dollar tunas that they catch and ship to China, you know, for the Aji or whatever? Yep.
Yeah, my price per, Al's price per pound is probably the same as ahi tuna. I was going to enjoy frying his ass.
Yes. He's got a story behind him now.
I feel like there would be a bidding war for the rice to Al. But you pardoned him like you did a presidential pardon on that turkey that's very noble of you.
These dogs are so cute, man. These dogs are some good-looking dogs.
Real good-looking dogs. You couldn't pay me money for those dogs those are i'll yeah well i mean you're you have a lot of money so yeah but still you know everything has a price a billion dollars for one of your dogs never in a million years two billion dollars oh two no you said billion billion yeah billion they're they're out of there all right Cool.
Got it. We got your dogs.
We got them. How many pickup trucks? How many pickup trucks? I'll go, who was it, Barbara Streisand that cloned her dog or whatever? Yes.
I'll go Barbara Streisand on you and just clone them. Clone them.
How many pickup trucks do you own? He's counting. One, two.
Three. That's it? it well i've got a i've got a silver a chevy silverado that's you know this my that i drive and then i've got a the best thing i ever did is i've got a denali that i put like 33 35 inch tires eight inch lift and i totally like made it look like a transformer you know okay so my denali is essentially a truck and then i've got um well i'll take that back i got a couple farm trucks some of my farm guys yeah an older one five trucks yeah if you have a truck that's from before the year 1980 that's like the first truck that you let your kids drive when they're six years old yeah i mean you got yeah and also you know your your chevy silverado that's your that's your probably going out to dinner truck that's your city truck and you got you know so my brother i i lost my brother in 96 and he had a white silverado and my wife went and found it and we re we re re did it and i have that truck and it's it's awesome a 96 silverado yeah that's pretty sweet uh you you have like the perfect voice for a country music singer if they drew it up in a lab I'm talking to like the ideal voice of a male country music singer do you find that a lot of people in Nashville like have to work at putting on that inflection something that comes to you naturally I think that if you're working at it you know maybe can have a few hits and fool people.
But I think once the country music consumer kind of goes, this guy doesn't talk like he sings, and it's almost like too... I think they start sniffing you out.
Yeah. You know, you can...
The biggest thing, the most important thing for me is, is to make sure when they come watch me in concert that I sound like the records. I remember being a kid and going and watching a singer and I'm like, oh my God, he doesn't, you know, he's a phony.
He doesn't sound like, he doesn't sound like, so that's always been a big thing for me. but you know I mean I think the the true the true talents that rise to the surface I think I think they're authentic in what they're doing you know I I think when when you when you get up in that level of 10 12 big hits you know I think you've you've checked all the boxes and you deserve to be there yeah do you still get nervous get nervous before you go on stage? You know, not really.
I mean, it depends on the environment, you know, like when I did the Superbowl at the Anthem, you don't get more nervous than that. That's the highest level of nerves, but I get jacked up and ready and fired up.
You know what I mean? Now I'm not, you know, I'm not running around, you know, busting bottles over my head and people are slapping me in the face, getting me pumped up. But, man, you know, I enjoy the thrill of going out to perform.
I mean, man, when the lights go down and you can feel that energy in the speakers, I mean, it's the best drug in the world. I mean, you know, it's just nothing's better than that.
Yeah. When they asked you to perform the national anthem, did you know what the over-under was? Well, here's the deal.
I sang it live, no track, which, you know, I'm not bragging, but I don't know if anybody's really done that in a while. I mean, I've done it like seven times, but yeah, go ahead.
For our rough and rowdy fights. So what was interesting is every time I performed it, one minute it'd be two minutes, 11 seconds.
The next minute it'd be 2.14. So when I got in the moment, so when you walk out there to perform it like i realized that i was doing pretty damn good i was like my confidence started building within the moment and then i started milking you a little bit and kind of trying to you know because once you know the the biggest part is walking your ass out there and the announcer going, ladies and gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen, here to perform our nation's anthem.
I mean, if you hadn't shit in your pants by then, you're probably going to make it, you know. Yeah.
And then when I started actually singing it on key on time and you start hearing the crowd start, you know, everybody wow you know you start hearing all that then then i started milking it and i ran over a little bit so i cost i cost some of my buddies a little bit of money but hell with them um i had i had one last question i read that before every show uh you eat a whole bag of lays potato chips is that true that is that's an old deal that was i used to eat them in the studio when i was singing a little bit okay so you don't eat them anymore i tend i don't eat them before a show um that not known rare you know i'll you know the beauty of a potato chip like that the oil and the salt is. So if your voice is really, like if you guys are on the air.
We should start doing that. You've got a lot of talking and your voice is about gone and you want to soothe your voice a little bit, eat a Lay's.
I like that. You've got to start eating more potato chips.
Wow. I never knew that.
Eat a Lay's. Is it true that you get a better singing voice the heavier you are? I don't know about that.
I know that the male voice reaches full maturity, they say, at 38 years old. Oh, so maybe one day I'll be able to sing.
Yeah, we haven't peaked yet. Something to look forward to.
We're both 35, so we've got three years. Love that.
Three years, and you're ready to move to Nashville, boys. Yes, become a star uh were you jealous and upset that you didn't think of the word chillaxification first before kenny chesney did on chesney yeah hey that's pretty damn you know i couldn't even begin to spell that one do you know what chillaxification means because we figured figured out with the chill part, the lax part,

but what's the iffication?

Well, see, I love Metamucil.

So maybe laxative like chill.

Yeah.

There you go.

No, I'm close.

See, but this is why Luke is a genius.

His tour would have just been, let's chill and relax.

That's right.

I'm thinking about bowel movements and how healthy that is to make your day go great. Yeah.
Just chill out. Just a chill tour.
Just chill out. All right.
Well, Luke, this has been awesome, man. Born Here, Live Here, Die Here is out this week.
We're going to run it the week that it comes out. We appreciate you stopping by via Zoom.
We'd love to have you on in person next time you're able to travel and you're in New York City, but this has been a lot of fun, man. Hey, thanks for having me, guys.
Love the show. And man, like I said, thanks for having me on.
All right. Thanks so much, man.
Have a good one. Have a great summer.
Okay. Thanks to Luke Bryan.
Awesome interview. Before we get to segments, The Barstool golf time app makes it easy for golfers to find the best tee times at the best prices stop searching all over google for your next tee time start searching multiple courses in your area from one app it's annoying to have to create accounts for each individual course to book online just make one account with us at barstool golf time and book all of your tee times.
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Okay, segments. And we have a Monday reading.
First up, we have Way to Stay Relevant Golf. Awesome playoff today in one of the tournaments they're doing.
I think it was Dustin Johnson. No, it was Justin Thomas.
Justin Thomas. Justin Thomas versus Colin Morikawa there we go Jake's got all the pronunciations I saw some highlights and I saw some highlights because it wasn't on TV how how how do they have a golf tournament when there's no other sports happening and it's not on TV because they were too busy doing doing the broadcast of, like, the Pro-Am.
Who was in the Pro-Am? It was, like, Kyle Williams from the Bills. Darren Williams was in there.
Yeah. How? This is like the MLB having the blackout.
You have a problem with your sport when people would rather watch people from other sports playing your sport than the best people at your sport. And it was thrilling and awesome.
Yeah, you're right. It would basically be like, the NBA is back.
Let's watch the celebrity game from last year's All-Star. Yeah, let's watch Woj and Schefter go one-on-one.
What's going on? What is going on, golf? Do we need to fix golf? I think we do. We should see Brooks to start.

And they're not on Fox anymore.

No more Joe Buck.

Really?

Okay, so bring it back to Fox.

Wait, he's got the U.S. Open, though.

I'm pretty sure they didn't re-up their contract or something.

But he's got this year.

He's got this year.

Yeah, but I recently remember them all tweeting like, oh, you know, we were doing so much

stuff with, with Fox.

It's a shame that it's over.

Okay.

You want to fix golf?

Yeah.

Make the balls different colors. Neon colored balls for each player.
Involve Cletus, the dancing Fox robot somehow, even when it's not on Fox. Let everyone do the same steroids that Bryson DeChambeau is doing.
Allegedly. Yeah, throw Bryson DeChambeau into a well.
This year. What? US Open will return to NBC beginning with this year's championship.
What? They can just pull it on Joe Buck like that? Oh, poor Joe. What did he do to do with this? Go ahead, Jake.
I have the reason why the golf was not on TV. They moved it up to 7 a.m.
this morning due to weather. So it was still slated at 3 p.m.
But yeah, contractually, they couldn't show it this morning, I guess. If there was no weather issues...
Don't understand it. Just figure it out.
Here you go. Build a dome.
If there were no weather issues, they would have had it. This is why they need someone who just sits in all of these.

What was playing on TV?

Bull riding.

Which is electric.

The dog competition was on, too.

They just need one person at all these companies.

ESPN, CBS, NBC, who just sits there and he's like, wait.

This makes no fucking sense.

Just put it on TV. I'll answer for it later.
I would love to see Chris Berman get back involved in golf. Yes.
That's actually an easy way for him to get back in front of a camera, just like send him to the best golf resorts in the world. And he also doesn't really need, I mean, golf, the golf telecast, the best part about the golf telecast is when they put like Vern Lundquist at like 17, he just sits there and he just announces that hole all day.
Yeah, it's awesome. Berman could do it from his living room.
Just give him like a glass of iced tea in a Lazy Boy recliner and Boomer will deliver you golf highlights. Ready to go.
All right, we have a drunk idea. What was this drunk idea? Yeah, we were talking about this earlier.
So it wasn't a drunk idea. Well, I consider all of our brains to be kind of drunk right now with how online we are and how uh how like difficult this last couple three four months has been without any sports but it is kind of a drunk idea it's what if they made a video game that was just an obama simulator so just obama you're you get to be obama in the white house what not after i want to make my netflix special no you don't't get to do that.
You have to be in the White House. So you have to deal with like, you have to like go play basketball with whatever person from UNC is over at the time.
And then you have to like go to the situation room and try to double tap somebody from Al-Qaeda. You get to like make new drones with your bare hands.
Do something cool. Tweet something cool.
And sign a BO. Yeah, sign a BO.
Drop a mic.

Drop a mic.

Drop a mic.

You get to... Sounds like the most boring game of all time.

You get to...

Let's see.

You're chilling in the Rose Garden

and you have to give a speech

and then some boring ass reporter

has to ask you follow-up questions

and you can throw something at them.

Yeah, I'm out on the Obama simulator.

On the Obama simulator?

This definitely was an idea. I was half listening when we talked about this idea I think it's a great idea It was good when I heard it That's why I'm out You saying it was good No, because you can play basketball with Michael Jordan He didn't describe the part about how the video game with the drone Michelle was going to be like Get your game.
So you're basically playing Call of Duty and like NBA 2K. Yeah.
But in the White House. Yeah.
And then Michelle comes in and she's like, you want to fuck Obama? And he's like, yeah, I'll fuck you. And she's like, okay, Obama, I'm so horny.
You just tried to do an Obama voice. No, I didn't.
Yeah, you did. Yeah, you did.
Yeah, you did. Let's be clear.
I've got an massive erection here. Please don't.
I'm going to use the pocket veto. Okay.
You know what? I'm in on the idea if we don't do any more Obama impressions. All right.
Okay. They release a new one every four years.
Let's be clear. Someone's got to make the Obama.

Who's that guy who made us those video games?

Remember him?

Like, he was making all those games online, the three-point shooter that was so sick.

Where'd he go?

That guy needs to come back.

Wait, you get to build your own death panel?

That'd be sick.

I want that guy to come back.

Maybe he can build it for us.

It's called Jade Helm.

All right?

I'm going to take over Texas. All right.
Do the ad. Do the ad.
I can't do this. I can't get off the game.
Billy. It's real life.
Okay. All right.
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Okay, let's do our Monday reading. Before we do it, we're going to absolutely admit this is most likely fake, but it's still hilarious and still a great idea and still a good Monday reading.
So we know we're not dumb. We know.
But if it wasn't, it would be incredible. Okay, here it is.
My 25-year-old boyfriend keeps asking me to invest in his SoupTube business idea, and I'm not sure how to deal with it. Sounds like a good idea.
Yeah, wait until you hear it, because it's even better than I initially thought. Okay, here it goes.
I've been living with my boyfriend for about seven months. Two weeks ago he sat me down and presented a powerpoint presentation with his business idea this that is just a hilarious visual to begin with do you think she's rich that i or just like i need your backing like we're about to sink everything we have into this idea into my i want you i want you to be ride or die with me yeah um it's always good when you have to put together a deck for your spouse.
Yes, a PowerPoint in the living room. That's where real business gets made.
I knew he'd been working on an idea, but he didn't want to tell me about it until it was finished. Based on his enthusiasm and his prior seemingly intelligent nature, I thought maybe it'd be a pretty cool idea.
Instead, he presented to me an idea about soup tubes. The idea, if you can call it that, whoa, that's already really judging by the way.
The idea, if you can call it that, is to construct a series of tubes throughout our city that leads to centralized soup kitchens. For a monthly subscription, a customer could subscribe to a tube of soup and a tube extension would be built off the nearest mainline tube and directly into the customer apartment or home i love how how in this guy's imagination cities are like you've got power lines you've got uh water lines and then you've got soup soup that's just soup tubes that connects every single thing together he this is i mean it is genius yes i mean find the flaw in it difficult to pull off yes but genius nonetheless so uh based on subscription level that would determine the quantity of soup a customer could pour and how many types of soup, the tubes are basically the size of pipes like you might see under a sink.
But he insisted that it must be called soup tube, not soup pipe. Tube just zings better.
I completely agree with that. Soup tube.
Soup tube. You've also got that cross-promotion thing going on.
People are used to saying YouTube. Yeah.
It kind of sounds similar to that. What would you probably get? Like some kind of chili.
Cereal. Also a soup.
What tubes would you get hooked up? I would get pho tubes. Maybe a clam chowder.
Maybe ramen. I feel like the chowder would get a little funky if you didn't clean it out enough.
A little chicken noodle, just some basic chicken noodle. Tomato.
Tomato soup. Tomato basil.
Yeah. That'd be good.
So I would need at least five or six tubes in my house linked up. Could you imagine the property value too when you're looking for a new home? This guy already has 10 different tubes installed.
Dude, it's huge. So you could waste your time going to the grocery store and buying cans of soup or you just put your bowl underneath a fucking tube in your kitchen this also is kind of the way that like in in an orwellian world where we all just like the government just puts tubes in all of our homes and just instead of going to there's no grocery stores anymore they just like pump food through the tubes to us you're gonna eat to eat...
We just eat the sludge. You're going to eat whatever the fuck we put into your gullet.
There's a baby tube, and then there's an adult tube. It's like Soylent.
We're basically at the Soylent age right now. Yes.
This would actually work with beer. Like, for the subscription.
Yeah, you're right. You're right.
Beer tubes would work. Yeah, like, people would actually do that.
Yeah. Beer tubes.
Why? You're going to Zuckerberg this guy? Yeah, I'm going to Zuckercock him. Beer tubes.
Beer tubes. That's intellectual property of Billy football.
Billy just fucking flipped this thing. Beer tube.
That actually would work. Yeah.
Also, wait, check the... So you turn the entire town into a bar.
Yes. There's just a single keg In the middle Right It's just a reservoir of beer Like instead of like a water tower It's just a beer tower Yeah It connects everybody I like that Okay What's Beertube.com Is it taken yet? Yeah it is It's probably It's definitely taken's fucked up.
Why don't you just have it be like pure alcohol?

Not taken.

No?

Buy that shit.

Beertube.com.

Purchase it.

Dude, buy that shit, Billy.

I just sucker-cut this, dude.

Dude, buy it.

What if you just had pure alcohol and everybody just had like an IV drip all the time?

So everyone was walking around buzzed.

Or patches.

Patches, yeah.

Alcohol patches.

All right, so let's get back to SoupTube, but I like your your idea billy good job um i couldn't believe what i was hearing at first i asked if he was uh crank yanking me or something but he was completely sincere obviously the idea is completely insane the notion that the city would authorize somebody construct a series of tubes everywhere that carry soup into homes is of course course, ludicrous. And even if such an initiative was approved, the cost for such an operation would be ridiculous.
Now, this is a naysayer and a person who doesn't dream. Surround yourself by positive people in your life because she is being very judgmental about this.
There's always a million reasons not to construct a city just out of metal tubes that feed soup from a centralized location. But if you really want to get into it, what this person has done with their idea of soup tubes, they just pitched their girlfriend in the living room and now the world knows about this idea.
So it seems to me like the marketing is already taken care of. It seems like it's a great idea.
Right. went viral, and it's like, hey, SoupTube, you would have to charge outrageous prices for customers to install and subscribe to a SoupTube.
And who would pay? I just love the name SoupTube. And who would pay for such a service when canned soup costs like a dollar or two? You have to fucking go out and buy the canned soup, idiot.
Yeah. If they asked Henry Ford what Americans wanted, he said that they would have said build a faster horse right he built a car i also i would assume the soup tube it's fresh soup well we would assume so yeah right maybe maybe they just buy all the can if i'm making soup tubes i just go to every fucking grocery store in town i buy all the cans of soup you have no choice but to get your soup for me right or you can buy soup from a restaurant for a few dollars.
Again, doesn't come in a tube. I explained these things as politely as I could, but he dismissed them and all I said that tube-based soup delivery is the wave of the future.
He then asked me how much I wanted to invest and I told him nothing and he looked absolutely heartbroken. Since then, almost every day, he's asked again for me to invest and keeps trying to sell me on this

idea. He's also doing the same thing to

a lot of his friends. I want to be friends

with this guy. I was going to say

at the start of the story, I thought maybe

this dude lost in fantasy football

last year and this was like the big

bet that he had to pay off where it's like, okay, you've got to

pitch your goal for the soup tube idea

and you have to stay committed to it. That could

be one reason why this is going around

right now, but I think a much more likely reason

is that this is just a great idea. It's a fucking great idea.
No exaggeration, I would pay, I'd probably have like five or six different soup tubes installed in my kitchen right now. Out of the Monday readings we've done, Dave and Buster's guy's number one.
The dude who what would he call showers? The guy who started talking like Sopranos. I like that guy.
Drapini. Yeah, I'm going to hit the Drapini.
He's number two. SoupTube's number three.
I like the mouse guy. Oh yeah, the mouse guy too, but Drapini.
I still think about the mouse guy. I hope that guy and his girlfriend are doing okay.
What about the guy that just jerked off onto the rug next to his bed all the time? Yeah, that was weird too. But I like SoupTube, guys.
So let's finish this up. It is starting to drive me up the wall.
First, I'm at a loss at how he can believe such a stupid idea is worthwhile. Second, it is really goddamn annoying to be asked on a daily basis to invest in a system of SoupTubes.
And third, I'm also concerned for his sanity. Other than his apparent obsession with this, though, he has shown no other signs.
I would like some advice as to how I can reason with him or whether I should even continue this relationship. Too long, didn't read.
My boyfriend wants me to invest in a business venture wherein tubes would deliver soup. That's fucking genius.
It is. You know what it is? He's just reverse engineered a toilet.
He's also, this is.

It's the exact opposite of taking a crack and sending all your waste to someone. This is like the circle of life.
What if you team up with a sewage treatment plant and then all of a sudden you've got a monopoly on the consumption and the elimination of waste? This is also a child of coronavirus. Like this is a guy who's been sitting in his house all day looking at the same fucking wall and being like damn i wish there were some tubes coming out of that wall with soup these are the type like coronavirus and the pandemic have been terrible but there will be genius ideas like soup tube that will come out of this and we'll be better off as a society i think what's going to happen is it's ahead of its time and so 75 years from now we'll all have soup tubes

in our house yes and we'll look back at this guy and be like can you believe that we laughed at him

right i don't think i'm on the right side of history here dude i'm i'm i'm ready to go as

far as to say that we should tube everything like we should have human tubes instead of cars i never

want to leave my house no just like imagine if you wanted to come to work and you just got sucked up

in your human tube?

Like,

Thank you. is to say that we should tube everything.
We should have human tubes instead of cars. I never want to leave my house.
No, imagine if you wanted to come to work and you just got sucked up in your human tube and just spit out here. I think Elon's working on that.
Yeah, like we're at a bank and you're just sitting at yourself. Correct.
Yes, I like that. A quick meal with a soup tube? Just quickly put your mouth on it and you chug the soup and run? What if it's hot? Well, maybe you can just set your temperature how you want it.

That's for like special occasions.

For like a family meal, you want a hot soup.

But a quick soup.

If you wake up.

Is it all you can eat after you subscribe?

I'm sure it is.

Think of all the time that you would save.

You wake up.

You're late for work.

Stop in the kitchen real quick.

Just like shoot a shotgun load of like 70 milliliters of clam chowder into my throat.

And I'm out the door. Wait, couldn't you just then open up a soup restaurant with all the soup tubes and just undercut them you have to that's a reseller's deal so you have to have a license for that right that seems like you can make communal but why would why would anybody go to the soup tube restaurant when you get your when you get your soup? Well, SoupTube, the initial installation is cost prohibitive, I would understand.

Like someone's...

I would imagine that SoupTube...

You know what they should do is SoupTube, it should be like mortgages.

You can basically pay...

You know, you can get a down payment on your SoupTube install and you pay monthly.

You put it on a layaway.

Right, exactly.

So everyone...

A SoupTube for everyone.

The American dream is everyone owns a SoupTube. there's a water fountain and a soup fountain and at the playgrounds so all the little kids can yeah especially in like cold weather and no one will go hungry that's true we'd eliminate a big problem in today's society boom soup everywhere i love it i listen I really do enjoy this idea.
I think... I would

unironically purchase this system. Absolutely.

If you could... If I could just

hit a button and have soup, any kind of

soup, in my

bowl at home... It's like a Coca-Cola

freestyle machine, except for soup.

Right. Imagine that.
It would be incredible.

So SoupTube, yes. BeerTube.

Are you going to buy Beertube.com?

Let's see how much it costs. Okay.
There's no way he's going to buy it. Could I have an investment? Yes.
Would you invest in BeerTube? Yes. Perfect.
$100. Awesome.
Okay. What are you going to do with it? He was just doing the math on how much a speeding ticket was.
Yeah. Yeah, he was.
All right. All right.
I'll give you $100, but I want 15% of the company. Okay.
Perfect.

Damn, that's a low valuation, dude.

I'm just going to buy a beer bong.

And be like, this is a pro.

Beer tube.

I invented beer tube.

It's a really long beer bong.

I go stand up on the roof, and I pour beer into it, and it goes into various rooms.

I'm going to hire some employees, and they're going to be my buddies.

I'll pay you $100 to just take off those stupid fucking shoes.

Seriously? Do you have $100 on it? Yes. No, Billy, don't.
Take them off. You're going to be my buddies.
I'll pay you $100 to just take off those stupid fucking shoes. Seriously?

Do you have $100 on them?

Yes.

No, Billy, don't.

Take them off.

You're going to smell awful.

Actually, don't take them off.

Yeah, don't take them off.

Wednesday, we have Tim Woods back.

So Dungeons & Dragons,

that will be interesting.

We'll see everyone then.

Love you guys.

Love you guys. Common love isn't for us.
We created something phenomenal.

Don't you agree?

Don't you agree?

You got me feeling diamond rich.

Nothing on this planet compares to it.

Don't you agree?

Don't you agree? Don't you agree? All night, I'm rioting you. I know you've got my back, and you know I got you.
So come on, come on, come on. Let's get physical Lights out, time of the night

Baby, keep on dancing like you ain't got a choice

Come on, come on

Come on, come on

Let's get physical It's Pardon My Take presented by Barstool Sports. Let's get physical All night, I'm riding with you I know you've got my back And you know I got you So come on, come on, come on Let's get physical Lights out, time of the night Baby, keep on dancing like you ain't got a choice.
So come on. Come on.

Come on.

Let's get through the door.