Dana White, Mike O'Malley, And The NBA's Motel 6

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Speaker 1 Three, two, one.

Speaker 1 On today's part of my take, you literally just

Speaker 1 burped as I was saying three, two. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 All right. Well, on today's part of my take,

Speaker 1 that was a great start.

Speaker 1 Billy burped into the mic.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I can't talk into the mic.

Speaker 1 As I was, were you just waiting?

Speaker 1 That was like farting in someone's backswing. I'm kicking up.
I'm sorry.

Speaker 3 Bryson DeShambeau would kick your ass. All right.

Speaker 1 Well, we have a great show today. We have Dana White, Fight Island.
Maybe not really Fight Island, but it's close enough to Fight Island. We also have an awesome

Speaker 1 interview with Michael Malley. One of those interviews where, hey, we don't know how this is going to go.
We've never talked to him, and it turned out to be fucking great.

Speaker 1 And we're going to have him in studio soon, and we're going to do something awesome for charity. Maybe a little aggro crag.
So listen up for that.

Speaker 1 We have NBA coming back. College football probably being canceled.
Firefest of the week. Embrace debate and a documentary review of home game the first two episodes.

Speaker 4 When cool, creamy ranch meets tangy, bold buffalo, the whole is greater than the sum of its sauce. Say howdy, partner, to new Buffalo Ranch sauce only at McDonald's for a limited time.

Speaker 3 At participating, McDonald's.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 there is violence,

Speaker 1 and then I love the solid work to be done.

Speaker 1 No place behind a law washing,

Speaker 1 and then I can't blame all on the song. Oh, no, we're gonna rock it down to Eli Trick Avenue,

Speaker 1 and then we take it higher.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna rock it down to Elay Trick Avenue.

Speaker 1 Welcome to Part of My Tape, presented by the Cash App. Go download it right now.
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Speaker 1 Today is Friday, July 10th.

Speaker 1 And LeBron James has tweeted, just left the crib to head to the bubble. Ship felt like I'm headed to do a bid, man.
That's true.

Speaker 3 You got to punch the biggest guy that you see the second that you get there. If that's Mike Tyson, then hello.

Speaker 1 Dwight Howard. Dwight Howard.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 He'll probably do that anyway. This is the news.

Speaker 1 We have sports sort of coming back. And the news is NBA players letting everyone know how bad the bubble is.
We had Rondo tweeting a picture of his hotel room that looked like a very nice hotel room.

Speaker 1 Called it a Motel 6.

Speaker 1 We had

Speaker 1 Troy Daniels.

Speaker 3 I'm not here for the Motel 6 slander, by the way. I enjoy a good Motel 6.
You're not getting any, no frills.

Speaker 1 I'm more of a quinta guy. I like

Speaker 3 you know what? I just like hotels in general. You just go in, you run the hot shower, get that hot water going for like 30 minutes at a time.

Speaker 1 Just keep it running the whole time.

Speaker 1 So we had Troy Daniels on,

Speaker 1 and also someone else, I think, from the Nets. I think Chris, who tweeted something from the Nets as well? I'm not sure who tweeted from the Nets, but Troy Daniels tweeted out his meal.

Speaker 3 The meal that looked like it was an airplane tray set up in front of him.

Speaker 1 And, well, I actually, when I read it, I was like, it actually kind of looks pretty good.

Speaker 1 I mean, it had everything.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I just, my eyes went directly to the fruit cup and then to that piece of bread that he had that looked like it was rock hard that you could use to just like scrape stains off a wall with that.

Speaker 1 That was one of those moments where I had to take a step back because Twitter was roasting the meal. And I was like, wait, is he going to eat all that?

Speaker 1 Can you pass that to me?

Speaker 3 Don't go on Twitter. Don't go grocery shopping hungry and don't go on Twitter hungry.

Speaker 1 But we have NBA players. Joel and Bi came, got on a flight in a full hazmat suit.
It's very funny. I think

Speaker 1 it's going to suck because now we're going to have the backlash.

Speaker 1 You guys get paid millions of dollars to play a kids' sport, and you're complaining about this. And I agree to an extent that

Speaker 1 it's not as bad as you probably are making out seem. Well, it probably does suck to have to go live in fucking isolation for three months.

Speaker 1 It's also today's day and age, like, if we were going to live in a bubble, we would be tweeting and putting up videos of our experience.

Speaker 3 Well, we were also wrong about this. We thought that it was going to be like the Socio Olympics where everybody goes in and they tweet out, oh,

Speaker 3 the shower curtain in my bathroom is missing two hooks.

Speaker 1 It's not walking down the hallway.

Speaker 3 Yeah, the Jimmy Kimmel stunts. It's not the journalists that are doing it.
It's actually the players. The players have self-deputized as Karens.

Speaker 3 I actually want every NBA player should get a Yelp account, and I want to read their Yelp reviews of the hotel afterwards.

Speaker 1 Is this one of those situations they're just basically trying to look for like pre-sympathy because they want everyone to know, like, hey, we're putting the country on our back here playing sports?

Speaker 1 Because I don't think anyone said it was awesome that they had to go down there, but we also were like, hey, they do get paid millions of dollars, and I don't know, it's not going to be, they're not going to be living in Motel Sixes.

Speaker 1 Right, right. They're probably in decent places.

Speaker 3 They're in okay places.

Speaker 3 And I was looking at Rondo's picture that he put up of his hotel, and I was trying to find, I was treating it like it was a picture hunt game, trying to find out what he was mad about in his hotel.

Speaker 1 Don't fuck with cats. I couldn't figure.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I was like zooming in on it. I was like, wait, there's got to be something in the background this morningers from Romania.
I had no idea what he was upset about in that hotel or something. None.

Speaker 3 That place looked like it was better than my dorm room. Well, it was better than any room that I've ever lived in until I was maybe like 28 years old, 29 years old.

Speaker 1 I think what we're finding out, too, is just being an NBA player is probably pretty fucking sweet otherwise. Because Rondo being like, this is a Motel 6 and everyone else being like, I'll stay there.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I get it. Like, they're used to something a little different because they make millions of dollars.
And now they're in a bubble and they're going to get their complaints off. I'm fine with that.

Speaker 3 So we were talking earlier about Stephen A. Smith's take about how there aren't going to be any groupies inside the bubble.
Maybe there will be, maybe there won't be.

Speaker 3 Is there going to be a weed guy in there?

Speaker 1 Probably. That's a BYO thing.
Deion Waiters.

Speaker 3 Deion Waiters is he's going to take a picture of his hotel room. It's going to look like that picture of Johnny Depp's nightstand that got put online yesterday.

Speaker 1 I don't think they have to worry about it because

Speaker 1 they're not going to

Speaker 1 pick up. You see that picture?

Speaker 3 It's something.

Speaker 1 Sometimes you're way more in line than me.

Speaker 3 No, I mean, it's

Speaker 3 he likes to party.

Speaker 1 Johnny Depp. Johnny Depp.
I'm kind of woke on it, though. I saw some woke.
It was John Depp was being like too set up. I was kind of with it.
Yeah, there's a whiskey glass.

Speaker 1 What is it?

Speaker 1 The license was turned upside down.

Speaker 3 Yep, the license was upside down, so you couldn't see who it was.

Speaker 1 The lines of wait, he put this picture out of his girlfriend. His wife.
Oh, his ex-wife.

Speaker 1 Yeah, this is what Johnny does for lunch every day. I mean, Johnny Depp,

Speaker 1 the minute he did Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, he just became Hunter S. Thompson.
There's no ethanol. There's a

Speaker 1 non-writing version of Hunter S. Thompson.
He's like, I'm just going to be a drug guy that does drugs all day.

Speaker 3 He became Nicholas Cage in leaving Las Vegas.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 Well, he went, remember, he played Hunter S. Thompson.
Right, right. Right.
He became that guy. He just did it.

Speaker 3 His method, man. Yeah.
Deal with it. He's a great actor.

Speaker 1 I'm going to be this character for the rest of my life. But, yeah,

Speaker 1 NBA players, I feel like they have like a week to get all their complaints off, and then we can accept them. And then they'll probably be somewhat normalized.

Speaker 1 The Troy Daniels thing, they said too that they were giving out those meals just for the first two days, and then it's like chefs and the whole thing. I saw a new meal.

Speaker 3 I saw a picture of the new meal that came out. It looked pretty good.
It was like some nice, medium, rare, plus steak with chimmy cherry sauce. It had some shrimp in there, some wild rice.

Speaker 3 I think they're stepping it up.

Speaker 1 I think Adam Silver also was probably sent out a memo like, hey, guys, no more of this. Like, let's start treating out the good pictures.

Speaker 3 Yeah, LeBron James definitely has his own wine cellar in there. He definitely has like a suite that's just dedicated to be set at like 51 degrees to make sure his reds are nice and crisp.

Speaker 1 My sweetheart hierarchy, I hope a little bit more comes out about that because I am curious about that because clearly they're just in hotel rooms on floors with normal rooms.

Speaker 1 There's got to be suites in those hotels. Are players like are they LeBron has to have a suite? Well, and like, how mad is Rondo going to be? Well, and also, I think there's,

Speaker 1 I actually am all in on complaints from players that don't have any chance of winning a title because this sucks for them.

Speaker 1 Like, if you are on a team that's like five, six, seven, eight, or even lower in the rank in the seeds, and you're like, I have to go live here and then get the shit kicked out of me by Giannis or LeBron, why would I do that?

Speaker 1 But like, if you're Rondo, if you're LeBron, if you're a contender, you're there because you're trying to win a title, and you probably can. You know what I mean?

Speaker 3 The Nets are just lucky to have anybody down there at all.

Speaker 1 They just signed Beasley. I'm there.
There you go.

Speaker 3 Super cool Bees is going down there. I love that.
I like Big Cat's Take yesterday. You're finally getting on board the Tim Tebow bandwagon.
Put Tim Tebow on TV, playing a sport.

Speaker 3 It doesn't matter if he's on the Mets or if he's playing for the Nets. People will tune in and watch Tim Tebow play.

Speaker 1 Yes. Or just put it like a Nets are close to just having a TBT team out there.
Just throw a TB team out there and they probably would do decent. They wouldn't get like absolutely destroyed.

Speaker 1 But yeah, the NBA coming back. I don't know how any of this is going to work.
And I guess that segues to college football feels like we're in a bad spot. And fuck the Ivy League again.

Speaker 1 They started it.

Speaker 1 I know that they didn't really start it, but as soon as they canceled, I was like, this is going to get everyone because the smartest guys in the room are like, hey, we don't think it's safe.

Speaker 1 And everyone else feels pressure. So we have the Big Ten, the ACC, and the Pac-12 have all either outright said it or

Speaker 1 implied that they're going to do a conference-only schedule this year. And I'm ready for the debate of who gets to the playoffs because it will be insufferable and amazing at the same time.

Speaker 3 I'm of two mindsets right now.

Speaker 3 My first mindset is doing this type of schedule and announcing it this far in advance is kind of telling me that's a half measure, where it's like this is just a step towards maybe them pushing back the entire season to the spring or delaying it, canceling it, whatever.

Speaker 1 They're not going to cancel it. I hope not.
Don't play back-to-back season.

Speaker 3 I hope not. Everybody, wear a fucking mask so that we can have sports, so that we can have goddamn college football, is what I'm getting at.
But my second mindset is: I am with Big Cat.

Speaker 3 I am very excited to see who gets left out because we're inevitably we're going to have like an undefeated or one-loss team from the SEC, from the Big 12, from the Big Ten, the Pac-12, and the ACC.

Speaker 3 And I'm hoping, I am hoping so badly that Clemson gets left out.

Speaker 3 It would be the takes that Dabo would come out with at that point. He might just secede the ACC from the rest of the entire NCAA.

Speaker 1 No, what's going to happen is

Speaker 1 an SEC team will have one loss and like Alabama will go undefeated and everyone will be like, Well, the second-best team is clearly the one-loss SEC team, and then an SEC team will have two losses.

Speaker 1 They'll be like, Well, clearly, and then we're just gonna have the SEC like final four. That'd be great.
I'm on board, that's gonna happen.

Speaker 3 And then Texas AM will find a way to claim it as a national title on the side of their stadiums.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yes, absolutely. Um, and also Vanderbilt, Vanderbilt gets one, yes, Vanderbilt gets a good one.

Speaker 1 Um, I so you mentioned the mask thing, like, wear a mask to play football. Totally agree.
I am been wearing a mask, I've had the stupid neck guard gator on for three, four months now.

Speaker 1 Never take it off pretty much. But I'm getting close.

Speaker 1 If I have to see another fucking Twitter like blue check marker journalist tell absolutely no one to tweet into the void to wear a mask, I might just fucking protest and stop wearing a mask because you realize you're tweeting to absolutely no one who is not already wearing a mask.

Speaker 1 The people on Twitter are wearing masks. The people on Facebook aren't.
The people outside living their life are not on Twitter or Facebook, and they're just living their life without a mask.

Speaker 1 You are going online every day just to tweet, hey guys, reminder, wear a mask. And not one fucking person will ever be like, oh.

Speaker 1 The beat writer for the fucking Oregon Ducks told me to wear a mask. Better wear a mask.

Speaker 3 No, I disagree. When Dan Woken tells me that, I'm like, yep, better strap one on.

Speaker 1 They're pushing me the edge, PFT. I might

Speaker 1 do it out of protection.

Speaker 3 We've talked about this.

Speaker 3 This is the mark of a a true mental alpha, being able to ignore the messenger if you hate them while accepting the fact that what they say might be correct in certain instances.

Speaker 1 No, I'm going to protest.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to.

Speaker 1 I'm going to keep wearing a mask, but I'm just, it's, it, it makes me so angry every time I see them, and it's like four likes and two retweets, and it's the same people that are liking and retweeting it.

Speaker 1 You are talking to no one about wearing a mask.

Speaker 3 Now, I'm also thinking ahead of, you know, obviously we have these power conferences that are going to be scheduling against each other. What is Notre Dame going to do?

Speaker 1 I think they're going to give them a full ACC schedule would be my guess.

Speaker 3 They could play against Liberty every game.

Speaker 1 I don't know if those schools are going to be, those schools are going to be the ones that struggle.

Speaker 3 No scoring allowed in that game.

Speaker 1 No, they're going to play ACC schedule. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, they're part of the ACC.

Speaker 3 That's true.

Speaker 1 So they're just going to fold them in, and that will be the college football. I think we're going to play a spring season.

Speaker 1 If I had to guess right now, it does feel like one of those, let's delay it, delay it, delay it, and then we'll say spring season.

Speaker 3 All it takes is for one Power 5 conference to say that we're going to delay it, and then everybody else is going to do the same.

Speaker 3 Or if you're smart, everybody just kind of keeps their mouth shut and it's a big game of chicken.

Speaker 3 And then, right before the games actually get going, one of the commissioners says we're going to play our schedule in the spring. Then they get to claim a national championship in the spring season.

Speaker 1 Spring national championship. I think this is our food.
Hold on, Billy. Hello?

Speaker 1 All right, thank you. All right, Billy, go get the food.
All right, that's our food. Go get it.
Go get it. What are you doing?

Speaker 1 All right, he's getting his wallet.

Speaker 1 I also, I had to at least point out, I love college football coaches.

Speaker 1 A running theme from the show from the beginning is football guys, and there's nothing more football guy than the college coach and our friend Jim Harbaugh,

Speaker 1 who basically spent... What are you guys laughing about? No, I.
Oh, Jim Harbaugh. We're all going to go there.
No, no, no. I'm glad you are.
No, no, yeah, yeah. I mean,

Speaker 1 I expected you. If Jim Harbaugh didn't do this, I'd be mad at Jim Harbaugh because if you look two months ago, all the college football coaches were like, we'll do whatever's right for the players.

Speaker 1 We have to be smart about this. Now that we're getting close to, you know, practice and training camp, they're like, fuck coronavirus.
Let's play. His quote was, COVID is part of our society.

Speaker 1 It wasn't caused by football or caused by sports. There's no expert view right now that I'm aware of that sports is going to make that worse.
I fucking love it. He's like, hey, guess what?

Speaker 1 We danced around with this COVID thing. We did our thing for a couple months, but now it's actually impacting football.
Fuck coronavirus. You're out.

Speaker 3 Yeah, you have to understand that this is not a football problem. Right.
He says it right there. How, why is football being punished for something they didn't start? Yes.
That's a good question.

Speaker 3 It's true.

Speaker 1 It's unfair. It's unjust.

Speaker 3 It should be baseball because they hang out with bats all the time. Right.

Speaker 1 There you go.

Speaker 3 That was like 2.3. 2.2.
Off the top of my head. That's pretty good.

Speaker 1 That was great. Thanks, Hank.
There we go. That was 2.2.

Speaker 1 Not 2.2.

Speaker 3 Billy, need you to explain this joke real quick. Okay, what's happening? Okay, Billy, so we're talking about Jim Harbaugh's take about how football didn't cause the coronavirus.

Speaker 3 I said that you should point the finger at baseball because they use bats all the time.

Speaker 3 You know what else they say? There should be a lot more defense in the bubble because there's no groupies, so that means no one's going to score.

Speaker 1 Okay. That was good, Billy.
That was like a significantly worse point eight.

Speaker 1 Also, not yours. Yeah, not yours.
I thought about that. Definitely not yours.

Speaker 3 I said that like five minutes ago. Really? Yeah, Liberty and Notre Dame.

Speaker 3 No wrapping up with Notre Dame. Catholics.

Speaker 1 Get it? Yep. Okay.
Rhythm of that.

Speaker 1 So, and I also love the NFL being like, we're not going to do jersey swaps.

Speaker 1 Thank you. You can tackle each other for three hours.
You know what? And be standing next to each other for three hours and do all of this for, get in a pile. But if you try to fucking jersey swap,

Speaker 1 they should just line teams up. six feet away from each other and just have them throw them to each other.
Ooh, I like that.

Speaker 3 That's good.

Speaker 3 But yeah,

Speaker 1 it made no sense for for them to say that. That was PR 101.
That was an F- move by them.

Speaker 3 Well, when it comes to jersey, that's something that maybe we could meet halfway on if we're not going to be tweeting out, no matter what, wear a mask to people.

Speaker 3 Maybe we just remind our listeners, no jersey swapping. No jersey swapping.
If you guys stop jersey swapping in your offseason of football, then we'll get to have football in the spring. Yes.

Speaker 1 Odell Beckham's the only one that would be like, ooh, got to get a hazmat suit.

Speaker 1 Lamar Jackson.

Speaker 3 Lamar Jackson.

Speaker 1 But that's not his fault. Yeah, no, everyone else wants it.
Billy, can you take the food out of here? It smells so good. All right, let's get to our Fire Fest.
Get back here for your Fire Fest, Billy.

Speaker 1 Billy's got a great Fire Fest. Actually, genuinely, a great Fire Fest.

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Speaker 3 You were on vacation.

Speaker 1 Actually, one more birthday love? No, no vacation. It was a mandatory out-of-office for the week.
I had no choice.

Speaker 1 But I got a cast iron skillet. I didn't really know anything about them.
I always hear people talk about them.

Speaker 1 And I didn't look into the preparation of what you do before and after. I was just like, oh, it's just a big, you know, a big grill or whatever you call it, like a big, big pot or pan.

Speaker 1 Cooked a steak on it. Tried to clean it after.

Speaker 1 Put soap on it and like spent some time trying to clean it. It like wouldn't get clean.

Speaker 3 I came came in talked to pft i was like dude i got and i because i saw afterwards i was editing his video of the skyline chili in the cast iron skillet i was like dude i can't get my cast iron skillet clean he's like you're not supposed to do soap you're not supposed to do this not supposed to do that and so i think i fucked up my cast iron skillet after one use yeah well no it can get back so getting a cast iron still has the steak imprint in it yeah it's a lot like having on a cool it's a lot like having a baby the amount of work that you have to put into a cast iron so it takes a lot of work something you know a lot yes no it's probably more difficult it's probably more difficult you you don't have to rub oil all over your baby do you no i do not rub okay so well i have to rub oil all over my cast iron so what you do hank is you just use water and then you just scrub it with like a some some sort of like steel wool or abrasive pad that you don't put soap on you don't have to put soap on it and then you rub oil on it put in the oven at like 350 for maybe half an hour every single time that you use it for like the first five times i know it sounds like pain in the ass after you're done with those first five times it'll be your favorite thing to cook with by far.

Speaker 3 And this is not Hank pulling a Chrissy Teigen where you're asking.

Speaker 1 Mindy Kaling.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah, Mindy Kaling. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Christy Keegan.

Speaker 1 No, I don't want another cast iron skill. It's heavy as fuck.
Well, I was just saying, I don't need another one.

Speaker 1 You could do that and take care of it, or you could just put it under your bed and have it in case a robber shows up.

Speaker 1 I don't even know that. I could, like, that's like, I would need like two hand baseball bats.
Just brand somebody with it, Jim.

Speaker 3 Real quick question. If you don't oil your baby, what the hell is baby oil for? Jacking off.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, I don't oil my baby down.

Speaker 1 What's baby oil for?

Speaker 3 I think I just explained.

Speaker 1 I think it's oil made out of babies. Uh-huh.

Speaker 3 Like soylent.

Speaker 1 So that's my fire fest.

Speaker 1 It's an alternative to olive oil.

Speaker 3 I'm a cast iron man, but I use a lodge. I don't go for that bullshit La Cruse

Speaker 3 $400 stuff. Get you like

Speaker 3 $50 cast iron. You'll be able to pass it down to your grandkids if you ever get an erection and have sex.

Speaker 3 My Fire Fest of the week is that ESPN is bringing Mike Greenberg back to the airwaves. I think it's like noon till two.

Speaker 3 No other radio counter program against that in the sports world out there from noon till two every day. But Greenie's coming back, but Golik is gone.
So it's like the ship's passing in the night.

Speaker 3 The second that Golik's gone, Greenie comes back, it's not going to be Mike and Mike anymore, ever. I've just resigned myself to the fact that they're gone for good.
It's just going to be Mike.

Speaker 3 It's going to be little Mike solo, maybe with his wife. Maybe it'll be the two greenies just like bickering at each other for two hours every afternoon.

Speaker 1 We need more Mike Greenberg in sports media. Throw some more Jay Williams with him, too.
Yeah, we need the sports media world needs more Mike Greenberg.

Speaker 3 All Mike Greenberg does now is he does get up. He does some of first take, I think.
He does a radio show now, and then he hosts Sports Center specials. I think he just hosts everything now on ESPN.

Speaker 3 They're like, we're paying you this much money. We're going to have you live inside the studio here in New York City.

Speaker 1 Golak's a legend of the game. He is.
He is a legend of the game. He is very nice, and we love the Golak family.

Speaker 3 We did take the Golik side of the family.

Speaker 1 Radio host like him. Like he's a thing of the, sadly, like, I feel like the next generation is just not like...

Speaker 1 What I don't understand is like you

Speaker 1 see how the media is going and you see how like people get attached to personalities, opinions.

Speaker 3 you know debate people having you know saying something interesting and then you're like we need more mike greenberg well it's because mike greenberg is so easy to not hate because you can't, it's so hard to form any sort of an opinion or have any sort of emotional response to anything Mike Greenberg says.

Speaker 1 And he reads a great ad. Like at the upfronts.
At the upfronts, it's like a great ad. Mike Greenberg ad reads, please.
Great ad.

Speaker 3 Mahendra Tractors, click on the microphone, enter promo code Mike.

Speaker 1 My Fire Fest is

Speaker 1 there was the scientists discovered the hungriest hole. I think it's a black hole.
And I'm just getting tagged on it saying we already found Big Cat's Belly Button.

Speaker 3 So that's my Fire Fest. It's pretty short and sweet.

Speaker 1 Just

Speaker 1 dragged online because someone found a hole. It's a deep hole.
I have a deep hole as well.

Speaker 3 Has it ever engulfed anything?

Speaker 1 Yeah. John seen his channel.
John's seen his penis, micro-penis. That's true.
Please call it what it actually is.

Speaker 3 It's tiny.

Speaker 1 We said that this was going to be a good Fire Fest.

Speaker 3 Are you ready? Yeah.

Speaker 3 I got a speeding ticket when I was driving out west.

Speaker 1 Where?

Speaker 3 It was in Minnesota.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 3 It was early in the morning. The roads were open and clear.

Speaker 1 And you can speed.

Speaker 1 Speed limits don't pick out before 7 a.m.

Speaker 1 Also, you can speed.

Speaker 3 I didn't see, there was no cops on the road, but I recently, right before the show started, received

Speaker 3 a text from my mother, and she was like, A speeding ticket came in the mail for you. I was like, What? Turns out there was a speeding camera that caught me.
And I was like, Uh,

Speaker 1 and uh, what was the damage?

Speaker 3 I was doing 89 and a 55. Whoa,

Speaker 1 it's recorded driving.

Speaker 1 Yikes, dude.

Speaker 3 Ezekiel Elliott type stuff.

Speaker 1 Roads were open, though. The roads were open.
No one caught me.

Speaker 1 It's true. Besides the camera.
There was no cops on the road. It was just a camera? That actually is bullshit.

Speaker 3 Okay, so I kind of.

Speaker 3 I didn't. I thought they

Speaker 1 thought they defunded the police in Minnesota. So you were good.
Yeah. I can see how you understand.

Speaker 1 You can reply that. Reply that to the letter.
Yeah. Like, didn't you guys defund last week? Sounds like Billy's really upset at the police right now.

Speaker 3 That's anti-foot Billy right now.

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 3 I legit was like, oh, like, there's no police working because of everything.

Speaker 1 So you're saying you drove all the way to South Dakota and you're like following the speed limit, then you got to Minnesota and you're like, I read the news. They defunded these guys.
Yeah. I'm good.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but I didn't see any police anyway.

Speaker 3 So I got caught on the speeding camera. I got a really bad speeding ticket.

Speaker 3 Turns out the cameras were not defunded.

Speaker 3 Cameras. Yeah, the robots.

Speaker 1 It takes a while to shut those down. Yeah.

Speaker 3 They got to run through the tape.

Speaker 1 All right, so

Speaker 1 what was the amount of money?

Speaker 3 $300.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's...

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's about right. But it's not reckless.
It wasn't reckless driving, was it?

Speaker 3 I don't know. Wait, let me.

Speaker 3 It was $55. I was going $89.

Speaker 1 Do you have a warrant out for your arrest?

Speaker 3 I might. Can someone check that? Just say that you were a vampire.
You had to get home before the sun came up. True.
Well, it was 6.30 in the morning, I think.

Speaker 3 So I don't know about time, but that's central time.

Speaker 1 So it's 7.30 here. Yeah.

Speaker 1 so it wasn't that early it was rush hour i just like you thought you were gonna defund they defunded the police you actually thought that i actually thought there was gonna be no police that wasn't yeah that was

Speaker 1 that wasn't a joke like you were like i'm good minnesota what are they gonna do arrest me

Speaker 1 yeah they got they're all gone were they gonna arrest me with a social worker

Speaker 3 did they did they catch you with your unlicensed chickens that you had in in the car no you don't need a license for a chicken yeah you do uh james garrison would beg to differ can't go over state line no the chickens weren't with me oh okay.

Speaker 1 You were neglecting them. You sure they weren't?

Speaker 1 No comment. Okay.

Speaker 1 All right, let's get to our interviews. We got two awesome interviews coming up.
We have Dana White and then Michael Malley. Boston boys.
Before we do that, Dana White looking jacked, too. Holy shit.

Speaker 1 Does he look fucking jacked? I don't know what he's been doing. Did you guys not think that?

Speaker 3 No, he definitely looks jacked. He's been, well, he said he was in quarantine.

Speaker 3 He's been in quarantine probably for like half of the last probably month because he's been going to different fights everywhere. Yeah.

Speaker 3 So what are you going to do in quarantine besides just rip arm curls?

Speaker 1 Yeah, so he's got, we talked about Fight Island with him, and Michael Malley was an awesome, awesome interview. Uh, definitely a recurring guest.
What's up, guys?

Speaker 1 It's Big Cat here, making my Irish entrance with proper number 12 Irish whiskey. How do you make an Irish entrance? You ask?

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Okay, here he is, Dana White.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on recurring guest friend of the program, Dana White. We got UFC 251 coming on Sunday or Saturday night.
Fight Island, Fight Island. It is finally here.

Speaker 1 And now, Dana, you know that we would never criticize you.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 some people might be saying that Fight Island isn't really living up to the hype of Fight Island because you're not actually fighting on a beach. What would you say to those people, not us?

Speaker 5 Well, Fight Island, we're on an island. We're on on Yaz Island, Abu Dhabi.
Never did I say the fight was on the beach.

Speaker 5 Let me tell you, let me tell you, let me tell you what a shit show you're asking for if you want to try and have a fight on a beach.

Speaker 1 Yeah. What would happen, though? Because I thought, I mean, when I saw the original video of the beach, my first thought was Hulk Hogan turning heel bash at the beach.

Speaker 1 I was like, maybe this is what we're doing. That would be sick.
My second was, how is this going to make sense?

Speaker 5 So do you think that the people who are saying this bullshit, you're not fighting on a a beach what do we say to them first of all just the lighting rig the lighting rig that would have to be set up for the thing to look you know even remotely professional would be impossible to do on the beach uh you got to work oh not to mention the fact that it's 118 degrees here with 100 humidity

Speaker 5 so uh you would drop dead walking to the octagon

Speaker 5 and for the people who

Speaker 1 thought it was literally on a beach you're a fucking idiot well i i think we both thought that it was going to be on a beach, but we are fucking idiots.

Speaker 1 But for the lighting rig, you just light a bunch of torches and like have just fire everywhere, just like fire pits and shit. That makes sense.
That's what I'm picturing.

Speaker 3 I'm picturing something like primal, something awesome. Here's how you can kind of win over some of those people, not us again, who might be saying it's not really Fight Island.

Speaker 3 Just tell everybody that all the water around it, it's shark-infested water.

Speaker 3 So if you just say, like, we're surrounded by shark-infested water, immediately that bumps it up a notch in the Fight Island kind of rankings in my head.

Speaker 5 Let me tell you this: with the fight card that we got going on here, what we pulled off during this pandemic,

Speaker 5 the people that are worried about that it's not on the beach in the sand, I don't want them to watch anyway. They're fucking stupid, and

Speaker 5 I don't know what they should watch, but it's definitely not this fight on Saturday night.

Speaker 1 So let's talk about the card because it is an awesome, awesome card. And

Speaker 1 the main event, getting Jorge Masvedal, who's a friend of ours, He's going to put Usman into the shadow realm. Talk to me quickly about that fight.
How, like, what

Speaker 1 that fight is going to be great. And then what other fights are you looking for? Being like, this is going to be another one people aren't expecting.

Speaker 5 Well, first of all, I mean, you know, there's three title fights. The Jan Aldo fight is going to be very good.
And obviously, Volkanovsky versus Max Holloway.

Speaker 5 Max Holloway's, you know, looked at as probably the best 145-pounder ever. He got beat

Speaker 5 narrowly by Volkanovsky in the last fight. Max thought he won.
Volkanovsky thought he won. So, you know, that's a great fight.
And Rosenama Junas versus Jessica Andraj rematch.

Speaker 5 I don't know if you guys remember, but Andraj picked Rosa Namajunas up and dropped her on her head on the fight in Brazil. That rematches, I mean, the whole card is just stacked with great fights.

Speaker 3 So I was reading about how you guys are handling the fight. You're going to be fighting on East Coast time.
So you're just basically pretending that you're not halfway around the world right now.

Speaker 3 are you just like are you trying to stay away from windows and like away from the sun so that your body doesn't know what time of day it is

Speaker 5 yeah that's that is true i've been in quarantine for friggin uh you know 48 hours it's it's uh eight o'clock at night here i just woke up like an hour ago so yeah we're today is the first day that we're going to be able to actually go outside and go do something um tonight Not today, but tonight.

Speaker 5 And

Speaker 5 yeah,

Speaker 5 it's been a tough transition, especially with quarantine. If we came in and didn't have to quarantine, you would actually force yourself to get up and go out and do things.

Speaker 5 But we've just been in our room for two days.

Speaker 1 I just saw this tweet on Twitter from Darren Revell. He said, expect a class action lawsuit from UFC fans because Fight Island's not actually on the beach.
What do you say about that?

Speaker 5 What a dickhead that guy is.

Speaker 1 I made that up, by the way. But yeah, I made that up.
Oh, shit. I was just going to say,

Speaker 5 that's literally what Darren Revell's.

Speaker 1 I totally made that.

Speaker 5 That's funny.

Speaker 1 But he could. He's a good one, boys.
Yeah, he could. He could.
I did.

Speaker 3 I especially liked his.

Speaker 1 And he probably would. Yeah, he probably would.

Speaker 3 His tweet yesterday, where he was like, just so everyone knows, LeBron James Company didn't apply for a PPP loan.

Speaker 3 And then later he had to correct and be like, actually, I'm told that they did, but then they just rejected the money after. Wait, did you guys apply for a PPP loan?

Speaker 1 No, we didn't. Okay, breaking news.

Speaker 3 UFC did not apply for a PPP loan. Please credit pardon my talent.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes. Good job.
Good job not.

Speaker 3 Good job getting Masvedal at kind of the last second ready to fight. I feel like he's just a guy that's like always ready.
You could just call him up and be like, hey, there's a fight in six hours.

Speaker 3 And he would just get on a plane and he'd be like, yeah, I don't care. I'm going to go beat whoever's ass.
I'm going to face.

Speaker 5 Oh, man. That's fucking funny.

Speaker 5 You guys got me with that one. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I could still see the vein in your forehead after that one.

Speaker 1 So you also have a trademark,

Speaker 1 UFC, S-E-A.

Speaker 1 When did you hire Rick Riley to work on your staff? Rick Riley? Yeah, I mean, UFC, that's a terrible pun. Is that a pun? Is that technically a pun? Kind of a pun.
Kind of a pun. It's pretty lame.

Speaker 1 Like, when did you guys decide to go that route?

Speaker 5 Well, you don't know the story behind that then, do you?

Speaker 1 Oh, okay, shit. Are you going to tell me someone died or something? God damn it.
All right, go ahead.

Speaker 5 Oh, John Oliver. John Oliver has been ripping me about Fight Island for

Speaker 5 a couple of months now.

Speaker 5 And when we, when

Speaker 5 the name Fight Island, he said is ridiculous and stupid. It should have just been called UFC.

Speaker 5 So then I went out and trademarked UFC after he said it.

Speaker 5 Then he did another show saying, can you fucking believe this guy actually trademarked UFC? So he went and got one of my old trademarks and

Speaker 6 created some merchandise

Speaker 5 that you you could buy on his website with I will submit.

Speaker 1 Oh, and

Speaker 5 it just been this back and forth thing going on with me and John Oliver.

Speaker 1 That's pretty good. Okay, now that makes sense.
I should have known that you had a good story behind it. It wasn't just simply UFC, look at this awful pun.
Okay, all right. That plays.

Speaker 1 Also, I said to you before we started,

Speaker 1 I don't know what your workout routine is, but your fucking biceps look awesome right now, dude.

Speaker 5 Thanks. Well, you know, during quarantine, I've been doing two days during quarantine, and uh

Speaker 3 i i've been working out hard yeah thank you um we've got our our intern billy football here he's he's holding the mic up to his own face right now he's apparently really eager to ask you some questions so we'll give him one question at a time and we'll pull him back like he's on a little leash yeah you just let us cross his line we'll you let us know choke collar him real quick what's up buddy hi mr wait uh first question um conor last time we talked to you was around june 5th and connor mcgregor retired on june 6th do you think he's actually taking, you know, retiring and he's done?

Speaker 3 Or do you think he's just taking a break because of, you know, social distancing and whatnot?

Speaker 5 Yeah, no, that's a good question. He,

Speaker 5 he,

Speaker 5 who knows? I mean, he's done it before. I don't think that Connor has retired for good.

Speaker 5 But

Speaker 5 I always say, whenever you feel like you should retire, you should. This isn't a sport.
that you can half-ass. You've got to be all in on this thing.

Speaker 5 And I think Connor's just going to take some time and

Speaker 5 sit back and figure out who's next, you know, and it probably won't be till next year.

Speaker 1 Okay, good question, Billy. Good, good.
You get another one. As long as he asks a good question, we're going to get him.
We're going to let him

Speaker 1 streak for the cash. Yeah, right.

Speaker 1 Hot hand.

Speaker 3 How many of us do you think it would take to beat up Connor McGregor?

Speaker 1 Okay, Billy.

Speaker 1 How many approved? Well, there's six of us in this room. How many times?

Speaker 3 There's six of us part of this podcast in this room right now. How many do you think it would take for us to beat up Connor McGregor?

Speaker 5 I think it would take all six of you. I think a couple of you are definitely going to be hesitant and not jump right in.

Speaker 5 And Connor will fuck up three or four of you before the other two decide to jump in. And, you know, somebody's probably going to run.

Speaker 5 I got Connor.

Speaker 5 Connor wins against all six of you.

Speaker 1 Wow. Okay.
Can I have a last question? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 None of us are over the age of 60, though, so he might be hesitant to just punch us in the head.

Speaker 1 Okay, last question, Billy.

Speaker 3 Go ahead. Okay, would you ever consider doing a super heavyweight weight class, like 300 plus? Good question.

Speaker 1 Like two sumo wrestlers.

Speaker 3 Why?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 5 Because traditionally, when you get guys that get that heavy, the fights aren't that fun. They're not that exciting.
Those guys aren't very athletic.

Speaker 5 I like it. I like the 265 limit.
You have to be 265 or under.

Speaker 1 What about Butterbean? I'd watch. What about,

Speaker 1 it wasn't you, but what about dot Dada 5000 versus Kimbo Slice? One of the funniest fights I've ever watched in my life. R.I.P.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 Well, those guys weren't, you know, those guys were both

Speaker 5 guys who had fought plenty of times before, and, you know, they both weren't in shape. I mean, the

Speaker 5 Dada guy fucking died during that fight.

Speaker 1 Four times.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 But that's funny. You got to be like, you should just throw one of those out every few months being like, here's a funny fight, 400 pounders, like one minute rounds.

Speaker 5 I don't do funny fights.

Speaker 1 Ah, shit.

Speaker 5 That's not what I do. There are people out there that do that.
I'm not the guy that does the funny fights.

Speaker 1 Okay, rough and rowdy. Shout out, rough and rowdy.
Billy, you have another question.

Speaker 1 Billy, last question. Go.
Make it good. Come on.
Come on, Billy. You're on the spot.

Speaker 3 I didn't think you guys would let me ask this many questions.

Speaker 1 Yeah, go ahead.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Look at this. Oh, David's getting mad.
David's getting mad.

Speaker 1 Can I be on the ultimate fighter? Okay, Billy. Go Go back to the couch.

Speaker 1 Yes. Oh, he said yes.
Yes. Okay.
Is there going to be a new season of Ultimate Fighter?

Speaker 5 Yeah. Oh, yeah.
There's another season of the Ultimate Fighter coming.

Speaker 1 Okay. Billy should be on it.

Speaker 5 He can absolutely come try out for it.

Speaker 1 Yes. Sweet.
Yes. Actually, I think I spoke.

Speaker 3 I read an interesting quote from you early today, actually, that you said that that Forrest Griffin fight at the end of season one of the Ultimate Fighter saved the UFC.

Speaker 5 Yeah, 100%.

Speaker 3 How did it save the UFC? I was trying to, because at the time, I was pretty invested in it, but I didn't know that it was in trouble.

Speaker 5 Yeah, so what happened was, you know,

Speaker 5 we were burning cash. We were like $33 million in a hole.
And the Ultimate Fighter was the last $10 million investment that the Fertidas made into the company. And,

Speaker 5 you know, the Ultimate Fighter, there was so much shit that went on throughout that season that the Ultimate Fighter. was spike TV and, you know, on the set and things that could have gone wrong.

Speaker 5 And the Forrest Griffin, Stephan Bonner fight was so good at the end of the season. It pulled a massive number.

Speaker 5 And I knew that no matter what happened with Spike TV at the end of that deal, we were going to end up somewhere.

Speaker 3 That's what Billy will do for the next season of Ultimate Fighter.

Speaker 1 Oh, absolutely. He will put asses in seats.
Take it over the top. So, Dana, UFC 251, Saturday night, Fight Island, not actually on the beach, but surrounded by sharks.
But on an island.

Speaker 1 Tune in. You can get the pay-per-view through ESPN Plus, which isn't a button that you can just order.
We've been through this. That's fine.
We can figure it out. We'll figure it out.

Speaker 1 But it's going to be awesome.

Speaker 1 Jorge Masvedale, I'm so excited for that one.

Speaker 1 What do you expect out of him taking this fight so late?

Speaker 1 Have you been able to talk to him? Is he ready to go? Yeah,

Speaker 5 the guy's been fighting his whole life. He's in shape.
He's ready to go.

Speaker 5 I think it's going to be a great fight. I think Kamaro Usman is one one of the, you know, Usman, if he wins this fight on Saturday night, he ties George St.

Speaker 5 Pierre's record, who many believe is the greatest welterweight ever. He'll tie his record for wins in the welterweight division.

Speaker 5 So it's a big fight for Usman and obviously to keep the belt and his legacy and career. And then Jorge Masbury, this is the fight that the people wanted to see.
People wanted to see this fight.

Speaker 5 This guy has become a huge superstar over the last couple of years with the things he's pulled off, the five or seven second second knockout against Ben Askrin, the knockout of Till.

Speaker 5 He's knocked out his last five opponents. So, this is the fight people want to see, and it's a good one.

Speaker 1 Okay, I'm excited. I'm excited.
We'll take pumps. Yeah, and thank you again for keeping sports alive.

Speaker 1 And I know, even though I told you it was a joke, you're definitely going to go on Twitter right now and double-check to make sure Ravel didn't tweet that.

Speaker 5 No, nothing surprises me with Ravel.

Speaker 1 All right. Well, thank you so much, Dane.
Appreciate your time always. And have fun, Fight Island, UFC 251, Saturday night.
Excited.

Speaker 5 Thanks for having me.

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Speaker 6 And now for something completely different.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest.

Speaker 1 He is an Emmy-nominated actor.

Speaker 1 You know him very well.

Speaker 1 He is in Snow Piercer, which is season finale, Sunday night, TNT, 9 Eastern, 8 Central. Check it out.

Speaker 1 Catch up if you haven't. It's a great show.
So check it out. It is Mike O'Malley.
Mike, it's great to have you on. I want to start with giving you an option.

Speaker 1 Do you want to do the gut stuff now or later?

Speaker 6 Dude, guys, it's great to talk to you.

Speaker 6 You know, it's really, you know,

Speaker 6 we were talking earlier.

Speaker 6 I'm a fan of your guys' show. You guys are really funny guys.
I'm happy to talk about whatever you want to talk about.

Speaker 6 You can ask whatever question. I'm not, you know,

Speaker 1 I'm proud of all my work, including guts. Well, well, we are children of the 90s.
PFT and I are both 35.

Speaker 1 So when Guts came out, it was pretty much a dream show for children of the 90s who watched Nickelodeon.

Speaker 1 So let's start there because I actually have a million questions about that. Right.

Speaker 1 First question is:

Speaker 1 was the Agro Crag like as daunting and cool as I think it is?

Speaker 6 Yes, it was at the,

Speaker 6 it was giant. It was really, really big.
And it was

Speaker 6 at that time, it was the biggest soundstage that was on the East Coast. It was down in Orlando, Florida, where we shot at Universal Studios.
And so we're in the, you know, the biggest,

Speaker 6 you know, soundstage that was on the East Coast. It was very, very tall, very wide.

Speaker 6 I think for

Speaker 6 what maybe you could tell on television watching it, it was when the quote unquote nuclear flying crystals were flying around there and the smoke, it was, it was, it's very hard to see.

Speaker 6 And, you know, for the kids, they had those goggles on. They're being.
you know, think about yourself at 12, 13 years old.

Speaker 6 There's people telling, okay, you got to do this and you got to go up there and you got to go there. There's a lot coming in at you.

Speaker 6 And so when you you know obviously it's um it probably might look smaller than what it looked like on television but it wasn't small it wasn't like you come there and go oh the set is really tiny it was big and it was hard to get up switchback mountain i think it was called and uh and the actuators that you had to hit and kids would miss them all the time they were hard to find it was it it's big okay that's a good answer you wouldn't you wouldn't lie to us because i don't want my childhood ruined like if you're like you you're being honest right it was daunting dude what do you just ask me and i'll tell you the truth okay first off everyone wants to know mo and i never hooked up okay all right that's what everybody wants to know yes

Speaker 1 yes

Speaker 3 i had a steady girlfriend who became my wife and uh she had a steady boyfriend who became her husband we never hooked up but she's fantastic you guys have great chemistry yeah i'm gonna pretend that you didn't say that about mo's boyfriend at the time because i don't know if you know this but every boy in america had a huge crush on mo myself included.

Speaker 3 Was she aware of that fact that, like, she had a simp army of 11-year-olds out there that just absolutely adored her?

Speaker 6 Yeah, I think, I think she is aware of it because people do, you know,

Speaker 6 stop us all the time still about that. And, you know, I think for her,

Speaker 6 what you don't get on the television show that she is, is that she's wickedly funny.

Speaker 6 She's very, very, very funny. And

Speaker 6 her husband's a funny guy too. And so that's what was fun about making the show.

Speaker 6 I think, you know, for us doing the show, I almost looked at it as like an acting part, like, okay, we're, you know, we're camp counselors, we're the big brother, we're the big sister.

Speaker 6 And so, you know, back when I was doing, you know, that show, where I went to the University of New Hampshire, you know, I had, you know, sort of stereotypical collegiate experience.

Speaker 6 And we didn't know what Nickelodeon was. So it was just like, oh, okay, you're going to go do this thing.

Speaker 6 And, you know, you're aware that there was some slime stuff that it, but it wasn't the juggernaut that it became. So we were just like, hey, this is kind of a cool thing.
And,

Speaker 6 you know, we didn't get paid a lot of money, but it was fun making a TV show. And we'd shoot three episodes a day.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And Mo is also a trailblazer because, you know, we've seen it, female referees in the NFL and NBA.
And they're like, wow, the first, you know, female referee. Like, no, actually, guts, dude.

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 1 she had control of that thing. She had the whistle.
She was ready to go. Mo Mo was the original.

Speaker 6 Yes. Mo is a trailblazer.

Speaker 1 Yes. Absolutely so.
100%.

Speaker 3 Would you guys gamble on the kids that were coming on the show?

Speaker 3 Because if I were in your position and I saw three kids lined up at the start of the show, I would absolutely get some side action on that and just be like, okay, this kid from Israel and Global Guts, that guy's a world beater.

Speaker 6 I think there were, you know, there was all the, you know, the crew of the show, they were all young people, all in our, you know, early to mid-20s. And so I think there was some of that going on.

Speaker 6 But honestly, I was so focused on the work. It was like I was doing the play-by-play and the analysis.
And then we'd go right into the replays.

Speaker 6 And I was trying to make it so that every show was a little bit different. So it was, I was so hyper-focused when I was making the show that I was even, okay, what are we doing now?

Speaker 6 What's this kid's name?

Speaker 6 And, and, and I think one of the things that's interesting about, about being in that position, like, you know, you guys know, because you're irreverent and you know you crack jokes and you know grown-ups uh you know can kind of if you're if that was a show for adult guys you could kind of you know crack jokes at their expense and they'd laugh at themselves you have to be really really careful when you're working with especially you know 12 13 year old kids that you don't say anything that is going to uh you know upset them because you know you'll go on tv they'll go back and they're you know the kids their friends are making fun of them because they lost on guts or whatever you know.

Speaker 6 So, I was just always had kind of this hyper-awareness of what the experience was for the kids. So, I wasn't even thinking about that.
I know.

Speaker 1 Okay. So, last guts question I had: do you remember any of like the greatest competitors?

Speaker 6 Yes, Jonna the Warrior

Speaker 6 was unbelievable. Like, she was unbelievable.
And she actually came. We did a guts, Nickelodeon Guts all-star special that

Speaker 6 Lawrence Taylor ended up hosting.

Speaker 6 That we actually sold

Speaker 6 back then a VCR, a videotape of that episode. And I think, you know,

Speaker 6 Johnna the Warrior, she was unbelievable. There was also another kid,

Speaker 6 what was it? Robbie the Animal. Okay.
He was pretty amazing.

Speaker 1 I have a name.

Speaker 1 I have a name. I have one guy who...
weirdly enough,

Speaker 1 I sort of stalked because

Speaker 1 he had the perfect game and I always thought he was incredible.

Speaker 1 and like this guy has to be like a pro athlete it turns out he wasn't but we interviewed him I interviewed him on a podcast I used to be on basically stalked him down do you remember the name Brian Beer

Speaker 6 I don't you know I don't remember Brian I mean he was just like he had a perfect score he had a perfect score he beat everyone

Speaker 1 big cat what can I tell you 27 years ago yeah I mean it was a weird moment for me I kind of stalked you know like well he wasn't 13 anymore but I stalked him after the fact the name Brian Brian Beer should be tough to forget I remember watching it and then I was like oh my god this guy like how is he not you know the greatest baseball player of all time now and yeah it was great he actually still has the crag when we interviewed him he showed it to us

Speaker 3 did he did he play college did he play college sports no no he peaked at guts but that's okay that's okay too because he's got the crag and I would pay anything to have the crag oh so I would much rather peek as a 12-year-old on national television in front of Mo and maybe she'd take me on a date afterwards Then I would peek in high school where nobody remembers it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so wait, let me just ask that again and just say you remember him. So, do you remember a guy named Brian Beer?

Speaker 6 Yeah, I remember him. He was amazing.

Speaker 1 I thought he was going all pro.

Speaker 1 Perfect score. Perfect, perfect, perfect answer, Mike.

Speaker 3 Yeah, the piece of the aggro crag, that was like a childhood goal of mine to get a piece of that. It wasn't actually a piece of the crag, though, right?

Speaker 3 Like, the aggro crag didn't get smaller over the course of the series.

Speaker 6 I'll actually show you this.

Speaker 1 Oh, hell yes.

Speaker 3 Do you have the aggro crag in your backyard? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, he's got it right there. That's like a prime spot.
I mean, you're in your home right now. That is, that looks like the sitting room that everyone comes, you know, your guests come over.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And it's like, boom, there's the aggro crag.

Speaker 3 I want to smoke that thing.

Speaker 6 It's either my fantasy football trophy or, you know, I didn't win an Emmy, so that's what I got. I got a piece of the aggro crag.

Speaker 1 That's way better. Way better.
Do you know how many people have Emmys? I mean,

Speaker 1 thousands. Who the fuck cares? They give them to everyone.

Speaker 1 Less people have that but why don't we figure out the charity of your guys choice because i know you're big-hearted people and why don't we auction that off oh wow that's a lot of pressure but okay yes we're it the children get any money yeah we'll do a children's hospital yeah we'll find children absolutely we could absolutely auction that off for a lot of money all right so i'm telling the pardon my take uh fans right now okay the awls

Speaker 6 we've got the piece of the aggro crag let's find somebody who works at some big tech company or some venture capitalist who has a ton of dough. And they can have my piece of the crag, but

Speaker 6 it has to go, like you said, to children's hospital or somebody.

Speaker 1 The funniest part about all this is like, I'm probably going to win because I'm going to bid the most money. I don't care.
We should

Speaker 1 let me buy it. You should just tell Elon Musk that it's actually fuel.

Speaker 3 And so if you get this fuel, then that'll get you to Mars.

Speaker 1 You guys are going to look up and be like, who ended up winning? And it's some random LLC that I created yesterday.

Speaker 3 I like that you create an LLC to like relieve your tax burden on this, but it's just to buy a piece of data.

Speaker 1 Just to buy the crag. Just to buy the crag.
Totally right.

Speaker 6 But it's also helping people, right?

Speaker 6 Where did all that money that Prez was going to give to the NFL now that he can't sit on the project?

Speaker 3 Yes. That's true.

Speaker 1 We could get that. Yes.

Speaker 3 That's actually an interesting transition because you are a big Boston sports fan. You actually had a sports blog back in 2007.
So

Speaker 3 you were the other sports guy at the time. In an alternate world, you could be my boss, Dave, or Bill Simmons.
Did you think about like sticking with blog life after that?

Speaker 6 No. Well, you know, what happened on that was Jean Louisa Kelly, who was on Yes Dear, a sitcom that I did on CBS for many years,

Speaker 6 she's married to Jimmy Petaro, who's now the president of VSPN.

Speaker 6 And back in the day, he was at Yahoo, Yahoo Sports, and he asked me because I think it was right after, because, yeah, it was 2007 that I did that.

Speaker 6 It was after yesterday got canceled, and he said, Hey, I'm going to get my friend. I think it was

Speaker 6 the guy, you know, who's the guy who plays turtle on Entourage? He was going to write about the Yankees.

Speaker 6 Yeah, exactly. And I was going to write about

Speaker 6 the Red Sox. So, that was what was amazing to me is how hard it is to do that well and to turn out really good writing.

Speaker 6 I jumped off that ship very quickly because I realized how hard it is to write very good, funny, creative, smart blogs in a immediate amount of time where you're competing against other people who are writing about the same thing.

Speaker 6 It's just very, very hard to do. And so that was it.

Speaker 1 So you also had,

Speaker 1 looking back at your career, we're kind of progressing here,

Speaker 1 the character of Rick. the commercials

Speaker 1 the Rick on ESPN. Do you,

Speaker 1 you're obviously an an avid sports fan. Do you ever chuckle at the fact that you were basically foreshadowing Darren Revelle's life?

Speaker 1 Because I watched back some of these commercials, and you had like, you, you had the Tiger Woods dry cleaning from Augusta Bill. You had the contact lens that Greg Maddox left at an airport.

Speaker 1 And like, you were.

Speaker 1 obviously doing it in jest and then darren revell has done that for real where he'll tweet out like i have this person's like freshman student id card and then accidentally tweet out their social security right yeah

Speaker 6 you know i think that you know one of the things that was interesting about that is that the the commercials were you know written and and created by this guy steve o'brien who's from boston and a guy that i went to college with court crandle and court crandle then went on to write um you know old school the movie and uh so this is back in 98 and they told me about this character this is before i had done my first uh sitcom and they told me that christopher guest was directing these spots and so that was the cool thing about it was that everyone,

Speaker 6 you know, you guys love sports too. So you get it.
Oftentimes on, you know, television or in

Speaker 6 comic movies, they'd paint, you know, they'd have, it'd be a face painter and it was always a guy yelling.

Speaker 6 And I just always thought that, no, sports is so much more intense and so much more emotional and so much more serious.

Speaker 6 And I just wanted to, you know, make that character a guy who's like, no, these things are really serious. And look, you, you know, you have heroes.
heroes, everyone has heroes.

Speaker 6 Anytime they get to connect with those people, even when you're, you know, you're a little kid and, you know, we grow up, we play these sports, we play these games, we know how difficult it is.

Speaker 6 You know, sometimes, you know, you know, sports fans get made fun of. Why do you place so much importance in that? And I wanted to try to do a character who's like, this really just means a lot to me.

Speaker 6 I'm finding joy in whatever way I find it. And it was, it was a trip.
It was, you know, and that character, I've been doing it now for 20 years. So

Speaker 6 it was just fun. They just had very long spots.

Speaker 1 It's also the beauty of that character, and I think you can find it a lot actually in our show, is that sports have become more analytical. Fans have become a lot smarter.

Speaker 1 But I think it's okay to just be like, yeah, I have an inner meatball in me. And yeah, I care way too much about this stuff.
Sue me. Like, what do you want me to do?

Speaker 6 Yeah, when my team loses, i'm bummed out for a week that's just what i am as a person and that's the risk and that really was me uh when i was you know when i was an adult i mean when the red sox lost in 2003 i woke up and i was just like i i cannot even believe what i just went through and and you know my wife who's from syracuse new york i mean she knew that i was a big red sox fan and and uh you know she was like wow this is really serious like yeah it's it's really serious but i don't know i think that it's it's like um

Speaker 6 you know people you you'd say to your wife or you say to your girlfriend well you're you know you're crying at you know terms of endearment or beaches or the notebook it's not this is a fake story it's like i'm i'm i'm watching a person who uh just made a massive error or uh gave up the game-winning hit and he's devastated and i care about him because i've been watching him every day play this game and talking about it it's just you know i anyone who you have to explain why you care sports about obviously just doesn't understand humanity yes yeah yes the way that sports make us feel is the way that you make people feel on parenthood just like have have a good cry afterwards and and you don't get over it for a couple days right

Speaker 6 well exactly and how i've on parenthood they made me wear like a double fat suit like i had to like wear three fat suits for the character and i literally was saying to them on that show i said you guys are going to have to put out like a public service like you're going to have to put out a pr a press release to say like i'm not that heavy i'm not that sick because people are going to watch this and they're going to be like oh my god what happened to this guy he's this is just he's gone off the bend You should have worn the fat suit out to like the supermarket where you knew that there were going to be some paparazzi one point and just like take some pictures in the on TMZ have Harvey just talking about how much weight you've put on.

Speaker 6 Yeah, like what happened to O'Malley? He just said it's just like, it's like just the sweatpants. He's just like, forget it, man.
I'm like, I'm going to break through 230. I'm going straight to 290.

Speaker 6 It don't matter.

Speaker 1 So, we do a thing on our show where we do spin zones, where we kind of just reverse, you know, the logic or a bad situation. I'm going to spin zone something for you.

Speaker 1 The Mike O'Malley show,

Speaker 1 flop. Yes.
Two episodes. That's...

Speaker 1 One episode more than our television show that got canceled after one episode. So you were twice as successful in that.
How, though, did you deal with that kind of setback?

Speaker 1 Because it's, I mean, you've, you've bounced back. Obviously, you've had a long, long career, but in that moment, did it feel like, fuck, what do I do now?

Speaker 1 I just had a show with my name on it and it didn't work.

Speaker 6 Yeah, that was.

Speaker 6 That was a very, very difficult situation for me because I didn't have a movie or a theater career to go back to. I had been trying to become, you know,

Speaker 6 Tom Hanks or, you know, Bill Murray or, you know, Michael Keaton. These are the guys that I admired admired coming up.

Speaker 6 And, you know, I think one of the things that happens when you're young and you're an actor and you're going through, you know, you're, you're having, you know, little parts here, little parts there.

Speaker 6 You know, they're trying to develop the next thing and you get a shot.

Speaker 6 And for me, I don't think I had a really clear awareness of how competitive it is in the sense that your show is going on at that time. There was only, you know, five, six networks.

Speaker 6 Your show is going on at 9.30 on Tuesday night. And the other networks, if you succeed,

Speaker 6 their shows fail. And so it's just so, so, so hyper competitive.
And so the only people rooting for you to succeed are the people at your network and your friends and your family. And

Speaker 6 so afterwards, I think that I was, but it's not like I should have been paying attention. You just don't think that anything's going to happen to you.

Speaker 6 You know, you read a, you know, if you do a, if you're in a movie or you wake up on a Friday and you read the New York Times and you read 10 movie reviews and three or four of them are just absolutely devastating to people, if you don't know anyone in that, or you're just like, hey, did you see that terrible review that somebody got?

Speaker 6 It's like, it's just sport to everyone else.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 6 But, but to you, you think, how am I ever going to come back from this? Because, you know, I'm just a guy who, you know, I was born in Boston. I grew up in New Hampshire and I got a show.

Speaker 6 But I had great friends. And that's one of the most important things I think.
And I try to tell my kids in life. I had tremendous friends.
I had tremendous friends in my hometown.

Speaker 6 I had tremendous friends that I went to college with the University of New Hampshire. And

Speaker 6 I had great friends when I was living in New York in my 20s.

Speaker 6 And when you really know who your friends are, they're able to pick you up and kind of atomize a little bit of that grief when you go through something like that. It was hard.

Speaker 6 It was hard because it's very public and your name is on it. And so that's the people like the Michael Malley show sucked.
It's like, Michael Malley sucks.

Speaker 6 And thank god the internet didn't exist because uh you know people and people still talk about it but you i think that you get very seasoned very quickly um you believe that you have something you know you guys have your show you believe that you're funny there's a lot of other people who believe that too and um you know maybe i'm not uh the the you know the kind of show that some people wanted to but i but i I knew that I had something to offer.

Speaker 6 I knew that I was talented enough to work in this business.

Speaker 6 And, you know, the people who were on that show with me, Will Arnett, Kate Walsh, Missy Yeager, Mark Rosenthal, my sister Carrie, they were all, you know, it was directed by Jamie Widows, who's, you know, a Hoover from Animal House.

Speaker 1 They were all good people.

Speaker 6 And I think just to put a cap on this, is that everyone who works in show business has failures.

Speaker 6 And so inside of the business, when you're working inside of it, there's other people like, yeah, you know what? That one, that one didn't work.

Speaker 6 But, you know, we're behind you. We believe in you.

Speaker 6 I had great agents at CAA who were very, very supportive of me. They were really great.

Speaker 6 You know, you hear bad things about agents all the time.

Speaker 6 They were like, no, man, this is like, you got a raw deal. It's okay.

Speaker 1 We're going to

Speaker 6 get through this. And that was very fortifying for me because it was tough.

Speaker 1 I like that. I mean, here's the other spin zone is it makes you insanely more interesting and likable because no one wants to talk to someone who's had success every step of the way.

Speaker 1 This is the relatable part. Like when we failed, everyone saw it and was like, hey, you're out there and it didn't work.
And it's kind of like once you, once you bounce back, you have a story to tell.

Speaker 1 Right, right.

Speaker 6 And I think that you also have an expectation, you know, you, you realize now I think that, you know, for myself, I just try to,

Speaker 6 you know, be about the work.

Speaker 6 You know, people talk about like, well, you know, hard work pays off and it does, but you can't always be thinking about how it's going going to pay off you really have to be present you really have to be you know in control i just i want to pass this along because i know you got a lot of listeners who you know um are are interested in a lot of different things but i have been reading um

Speaker 6 a lot of uh marcus aurelius uh the stoics and um there's this book um uh by donald robertson about the stoics and basically you know the stoics and thinking about what is it that you can control you know you can control your emotional reaction to things.

Speaker 6 And it's something that, even at 53 years old, you know, I wish I had been steeped in this stuff when I was younger. To not

Speaker 6 say that an emotion can't come up and it can't make you feel one way or the other, but to realize it's like, even like in this pandemic, for instance, it's like, what can I control?

Speaker 6 I can't control when I'm going back to work. I can't control when they're going to find the vaccine.
What can I do as a dad right now?

Speaker 6 I could try to, you know, wake up, be a good dad, be really locked into what my kids are, you you know feeling or experiencing emotionally and and be there for them and try to enjoy this period of time but i i really recommend because it's you know in a way ecumenical um the if that's the right word it's it's you know the stoics uh marcus aurelius in particular just read it man it's it's it's it's cool stuff and it's not too deep i think you're like you're the first person to reference roman philosophy on this podcast probably not the last you actually could probably work at uh at HBO Sports as a vice president if you've got that depth of knowledge to be just pulling that out of your bag.

Speaker 3 Yes,

Speaker 3 that's very impressive. Big Tom.

Speaker 1 That's a good point, though. I don't know.

Speaker 6 Listen, man, I followed that story. I don't know.

Speaker 3 It is a good point, though. And I like what you said about, you know, being able to, you know, being able to bounce back and, like Big Cat said, having a story to tell after things.

Speaker 3 Like, if you were to tie it into sports, when the Red Sox lost in 2003, it made winning in 2004 that much better of a feeling, feeling, right?

Speaker 3 If you've experienced that type of heartbreak from Aaron fucking Boone, then it's pretty awesome when Kurt Schilling paints some red, you know, paint on his socks, comes back to 03 deficit, and then you guys win your first World Series in what, like 115 years or whatever it is.

Speaker 3 That's that, like the bounce back is a very, very sweet part of life because it does feel that much better.

Speaker 6 Yeah, and it feels like you've, you know, it feels like you've earned that. I mean, look,

Speaker 6 I had an experience during the the 2004 season and

Speaker 6 where I had gotten to know some of the guys through different charity events that I had hosted. And I got to go through the dugout at the end of a game.
And those guys were crazy, right? And

Speaker 6 I got to know Johnny Damon a little bit. And we were sitting in the seats.
And at the game, I think they won, it was a walk off. And they won the game.
And I had a beer.

Speaker 6 And Johnny comes over and gets the beer right outside the dugout. He starts drinking the beer as I'm, you know,

Speaker 6 walking out. He says, Come on in, come through the dugout, come, you know, come down through.
And I'm like, you know, I grew up Fred Lynn, Carl Yostremsky, Jim Rice.

Speaker 6 I mean, like, I wanted to be a baseball player. And so here I am walking through the dugout into the clubhouse in the middle of a pennant race in August of, you know, 2004.

Speaker 6 And this was what was interesting to me and why I tell this story. There were no cameras.
There were no, you know, there were no people

Speaker 6 in there other than the guys on the team. And they were going nuts.
They were cheering for each other.

Speaker 6 You know, it was like you're in a high school game and it was, this is your team and these are your guys.

Speaker 6 And to think that these guys are professional athletes and they cared that much and were so pumped up for each other and celebrating one another. I don't know.
It kind of made like.

Speaker 6 It made that feeling that you're cheering for sports feel good because I think all of us, you know, all of us are constantly, you know, seeking fellowship and friendships with people and shared experiences and joy.

Speaker 6 And it was kind of cool to get a glimpse into that.

Speaker 6 You know, that here are these guys who are paid to do this, but this is the feeling that it generates for them, even though it is their job.

Speaker 3 That is kind of affirming to be a fan and to see that firsthand because a lot of times I think team players on whatever team, they might not get along real well.

Speaker 3 They're in it because they're making a lot of money and they're doing really well for themselves in their career.

Speaker 3 But it is cool to see a team that kind of appreciates that the same way that you look at it and you feel that same feeling, that amount of investment in it.

Speaker 3 It makes you feel like maybe I'm not wasting my time, you know, spending thousands of dollars on season tickets, buying all the merchandise, watching every game, and investing myself emotionally in something that maybe they're not as emotionally invested in.

Speaker 6 Right. And, you know, it's like, especially Trot, like I just remember Trot Nixon, who was just like the kind of guy like you wish was on on your team and cheering you on because you saw that.

Speaker 6 You know, for me, you know, sometimes I don't necessarily want to read about the intrigue if a team isn't getting along.

Speaker 6 You know, there's a thing about, you know, actors and if you're in a play in particular

Speaker 6 and people come back and they see the show and they've seen you be in the show,

Speaker 6 but you had a.

Speaker 6 better performance than you know you were more locked in you felt you were a little bit locked in the night before people come backstage and they say wow that was a great show because they took they went on the journey of, of the story.

Speaker 6 And then you're like, well, you should have been here last night. You know, it's like nobody, nobody wants to hear that, right?

Speaker 6 You go see, you know, your favorite band and they're like, ah, they were better, you know, or the, you know, Bono's like, I was more locked in yesterday. It doesn't matter.
I'm having my experience.

Speaker 6 I'm seeing them. I'm enjoying them.
That's the job of the professional athlete. And sometimes I.
I don't read so much about the intrigue behind the scenes because I want to feel like they get along.

Speaker 6 I mean, you read about about the 86 Red Sox, 25 guys, 25 calves. Famous story.
Well, when I was in college watching that team, you know, I didn't enjoy it less. I didn't know that about them.

Speaker 6 But now I kind of look back on it. I was like, I really rooted for this team where the guys didn't like each other.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Kevin Millard didn't see you naked in the locker room after that, did he?

Speaker 6 No, he didn't.

Speaker 1 Nobody, no, nobody wants.

Speaker 3 He has an encyclopedia of penises that he's seen that he will just straight up tell them.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 If Kevin Millard has seen your penis, he's told someone about it.

Speaker 6 I just had a beer. I didn't disrobe or shower there.
I think that would have been a little bit odd. The guy from yesterday's shower.

Speaker 1 So, so across from sports to acting, is there a zone? Do you get in a zone when you're acting when you're like, holy shit, I'm locked in. This is like, I'm nailing this.

Speaker 6 Well, I think in terms of comedy, you know, you definitely can get into a zone because it's all about,

Speaker 6 it's the pace.

Speaker 6 It's the metronome. It's like, if you really feel like you're playing the scene perfectly and nailing, you know, it's all about delivery and timing with comedy.

Speaker 6 So you feel like you're in a zone there. I think that in terms of, you know, performing in a drama, it's like when you really know your language, I was on Justified.

Speaker 6 I'll tell you an interesting story about Justified. I did like six episodes on Justified.
I played this guy.

Speaker 6 Nikki Augustine, who was a mafia hitman. And after I had finished yesterday, I had really wanted to start doing more dramatic roles.
And I didn't, I wanted to kind of move away from comedy.

Speaker 6 And I went to the set of

Speaker 6 Justified, and I was really stoked because it was a cool show. And I had my scenes all prepared because,

Speaker 6 especially when you're a guest actor, you don't get a lot of takes. You're going to be there.
You really want to do good work. And I was in the scene with Jerry Burns

Speaker 6 and

Speaker 6 Stephen Tabolowski, who both of these guys, character actors, been around a long time and when i get there they said hey uh

Speaker 6 we're throwing these pages out we got a whole new idea for a scene and we're going to go upstairs and write them and uh the writer says to me is like okay um so here's my idea for the scene you and tobolowski you went to grade school together now

Speaker 6 Google Stephen Tobolowski. He's 25 years older than me.
So the first thing when I hear that is like, how bad do I look?

Speaker 1 I mean, I must look terrible.

Speaker 6 Like I must, like, I gotta, like, I gotta, like, get a skin peel or chemical peel. I need to get the Jerry Jones, you know, like, eyes fixed.
Like, I gotta do something because I look terrible.

Speaker 6 So, I don't hear another word they say.

Speaker 6 And they go up and they write the scene. They come back down, me and Tovelowski, 40-year difference.
Apparently, we went to, you know, grade school together. And we do the scene and we run the scene.

Speaker 6 We run the scene. We run the scene.
And my adrenaline was pumped so high. And I wanted to do such a good job that you just kick into a second gear and you're really, really hyper-focused.

Speaker 6 And the scene, I'll send it to you guys. I'll send you my reel if you want to look at it.
Please, you know, I got to shoot Stephen Tabolowski in the head, and it was awesome.

Speaker 1 It was fun.

Speaker 1 That's a good ending. That is very good.
That's a great ending.

Speaker 1 I have a very important question for you, and our producer Hank might want to chime in because we've had this discussion. He's a diehard Tom Brady fan.

Speaker 1 Will you be buying a Bucs jersey? And how much will you be rooting for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers this upcoming season?

Speaker 6 I am in that window right now where

Speaker 6 I think I have to get 10 years older before I buy another adult man's jersey. I think that wearing a jersey when you're younger than the player or

Speaker 6 when you're far maybe 25 to 30 years older than a player is acceptable. But at 53 years old,

Speaker 6 I really cannot be buying a jersey.

Speaker 1 Yeah, what about rooting? Yeah, let's talk about rooting because Hank is firmly in the Bucs are his second team now, very clearly, and he would love for Tom Brady to win a Super Bowl in Tampa Bay.

Speaker 1 If the Patriots aren't there, if the Patriots aren't there.

Speaker 6 I am a big Tom Brady fan. I will be rooting for his success.

Speaker 6 Rob Gronkowski.

Speaker 6 I am running a new show about professional wrestling for the Stars Network that we're going into production production at the end of the month. We tried to get Rob Gronkowski in the show.

Speaker 6 We had a bunch of meetings with him. And I thought, you know, he also has brought the O'Malley family great joy.
So I'm rooting for both of those guys.

Speaker 6 but but you know he he legitimately was going to be acting and not uh and not doing football anymore but i i think that i'm interested in it because of those guys getting back together certainly tom he i think he's an inspiration to people anybody over the age of 40, he's an inspiration too.

Speaker 6 But

Speaker 6 I will not root for him if they were playing the Patriots, but I will root for him and I will follow what they do. He's, I also think he's a great guy.

Speaker 3 So did it take the sting out of losing Brady and having Gronk come back to get Cam Newton last week? Was that kind of like a moment where you're like, okay,

Speaker 3 we can do this again. It's not over.

Speaker 6 I think so. You know, for me,

Speaker 6 you know, my son was so stoked when he found out that Cam Newton was going to be, you know, we root for the laundry, right? So we're excited.

Speaker 6 I was actually intrigued with the idea that we're going to be going with the brand new quarterback and seeing, you know, what they can do.

Speaker 6 And I think that people are getting excited about it, but we know enough about the Patriots that until the roster's there in the first game and until they, you know, he's playing with them for a while.

Speaker 6 I mean, it's, you know, Coach Belichick has proven. It's like, he's the Boston.

Speaker 6 And, you know, how is it going to work out? I don't know. You know, so I'm excited.
I think he's a tremendous athlete. I think he's, you know, Cam Newton's funny.
I love his style.

Speaker 6 I think he's going to be great for the Patriots. You know, just that team changing it up from what it has been.

Speaker 6 But we all know if he doesn't fit the program, it ain't going to, you know, it ain't going to happen.

Speaker 1 Well, you also have, I mean, with Belichick being the best coach of all time, he could just put anyone at quarterback and everyone would be like, he probably sees something no one else does.

Speaker 1 Like this guy, like, and he probably could suck, but it's like, hey, Jared Stiddam, like, but why did he have one pass on him? Yes.

Speaker 6 Do you think, big cat, do you think that you could play quarterback and complete a pass in the NFL for a coach Belichick

Speaker 3 coached team?

Speaker 1 How many, how many chances do I get? Just one pass? Shovel pass. Shovel pass.
Yeah, shovel pass.

Speaker 6 Yeah. Hey, guys,

Speaker 6 I'm talking

Speaker 6 on the internet here.

Speaker 1 I'm doing an interview.

Speaker 6 I think

Speaker 6 I'd give you actually all four downs. We're not even going to punt on four.

Speaker 1 One pack. Probably not.
I think you could do a shovel. I'll hit my pants.

Speaker 3 Either that or like one of those tosses that barely goes.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 we always forget as sports fans is it's not even the like throwing strength or anything. It's that every little piece moves faster for athletes.

Speaker 1 So just like getting the snap and going back in a drop or if even if I'm in shotgun and like and like getting ready and like dropping, you know, doing a three-step drop will take so much longer, and I'll be just flattened by everyone.

Speaker 6 I think that I would probably be terrified just standing back there.

Speaker 6 Like, I'm, you know, I'm terrified when I walk down Bronson Canyon hiking, and there's too much sand there because I'm going to slip and blow out my knee. So, I don't know.
I don't know, man.

Speaker 6 I think out of the shotgun, I think I could, I think I could complete a pass if

Speaker 6 it was maybe to

Speaker 1 Edelman and he takes two steps it's a wide receiver screen yeah yeah wide receiver screen or you are you can set up and I could probably

Speaker 3 have it be like a jet sweep type thing where it's just about the time and you get the ball and you just pop it in front of you yeah that's come and takes it away yeah yeah that is yes okay so yes we could do it yes a

Speaker 1 pass of air yards more than like five yards down the line of scrimmage absolutely not no chance When's the last time you ever watched Heaven Can Wait, the Warren Beatty movie?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I was finishing it last night. I actually watched a little bit of it this morning.

Speaker 3 I like to watch it. I refresh myself every couple weeks.

Speaker 6 Okay, all right, guys.

Speaker 1 You're good. This is good.
This is good, man.

Speaker 6 You guys, listen, man.

Speaker 6 I love you guys.

Speaker 1 I love that.

Speaker 6 That is, by the way,

Speaker 6 if we were shooting a show that you don't even need an extra take, we've got two cameras working on that. You guys delivered that perfectly.
We don't even need to cut it. It's perfect.

Speaker 1 Warren Beatty. Beautiful.
Yeah, legend.

Speaker 1 Is that the guy with the big cock?

Speaker 3 That's the guy. That's Milton Burle.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Milton Burl's got.
Well, I don't know.

Speaker 1 Are your kids listening? Warren Beatty. My bad.

Speaker 3 Unconfirmed penis size. We'll ask Kevin Malaria.

Speaker 1 I'm getting a little like, yeah, I should have probably brought headphones for this interview.

Speaker 6 No, I didn't. I didn't know there was only one.

Speaker 1 That's true. All right, I have one last question.
I lied to you. I do have another guts question.

Speaker 1 Check out Snow Piercer TNT Sunday night season finale, 9 Eastern, 8 Central. We're also going to figure out, we are going to figure out this aggro crack.
We're going to donate it. 100%.

Speaker 1 It's going to be awesome. We'll make a big thing of it.

Speaker 1 I think, you know what we'll do? We'll do it.

Speaker 1 I would assume you every now and then get into New York City, right? Yes.

Speaker 1 Okay, so what we're going to do is we're going to not only do an auction, but part of the auction will be you come and you hang out in the studio and you'll come by and we'll have you back on the show and you can hang out and we'll pass off the aggro crag.

Speaker 1 So we'll do a whole thing. It's going to be great.

Speaker 3 I'll put on a dress and speak in an Australian accent. I'll pretend to be Mo.

Speaker 1 You're going to just pass it to me because I'm going to win this auction. But yeah, it will be a whole, we'll make it a whole event.

Speaker 1 So, my last question: I did have one more guts question. When the lights went off and everyone went home, did you sometimes put on a helmet and do all the competitions and test out all the

Speaker 1 pool and the race course and everything? Please tell me you did.

Speaker 6 Yes, we did. We would crack some beers and

Speaker 6 we'd especially get on those

Speaker 6 bikes and we'd ride those around. And

Speaker 6 we never had a keg, but we had quite a few beers in the extreme arena. And there are pictures of us jumping into the pool.
Yes.

Speaker 1 That sounds awesome.

Speaker 3 That sounds like just a dreamland.

Speaker 1 Yes, that's perfect. I'm happy you answered it that way.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I mean, this has been a very enlightening interview for me. Yeah, I had another question about something later on in your career, but I want to end this just talking about guts.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Because I fucking love that show. Thank you.
Guts is awesome. Thank you so much for making making my after schools better when I was a child.

Speaker 3 And just so you know, I would immediately turn it off when Legends of the Hidden Temple came on. Oh, I was a guts man through and through.
Everyone knew it.

Speaker 6 Listen, man. Touch a letdown with me.

Speaker 6 When you're touched with Mark Summers and Kirk Fogg, okay? Those guys are good guys, too. You should talk to them.
Yes.

Speaker 6 It's nice to meet you. I hope I see you in person.
I hope we raise a lot of money. I really, I,

Speaker 6 you know, I've been waiting to part with that

Speaker 6 because I know people want it, but I think we can actually get rid of it

Speaker 6 with a lot of good going to somebody else.

Speaker 3 Is this your wife saying, like, hey, can we please get this glowing piece of rock out of the living room? Like, like Michael Scott's St. Paulie girl sign in the living room? Yeah.

Speaker 6 No, listen, my wife's great. Okay.
She's got maximum hang factor. She's awesome.
So she knows. She knows when she married me.
You know, I didn't get married till I was in my early 30s. So

Speaker 6 she knew what she was getting into. There you go.

Speaker 3 Oh, I do have one last, last question. Yes.
Did you audition for any roles in the league?

Speaker 3 Because I feel like that, that show was pretty much scripted to have you as either one of the main characters or like the wacky neighbor that comes over.

Speaker 6 No, I did not audition for that. You know, a lot of, you know, a lot of

Speaker 6 the different sort of groups of comedy that, you know, those guys that are doing that show, you know,

Speaker 6 they have their friends. They're, they're writing roles for themselves and they're writing roles for their pals.
So a lot of the, a lot of times like a show like that sort of comes

Speaker 6 pre-packaged. So

Speaker 6 I think when that was going on, I was doing,

Speaker 6 I was writing on Shameless at that point.

Speaker 6 And I was trying to get my next, my own show going. So

Speaker 6 I wasn't really acting as much. I was trying to transition more into a writer.

Speaker 1 Awesome. Well, Mike, this has been awesome.
We appreciate it.

Speaker 1 We'll link up and we will definitely do this Agro Craig and we'll have you in studio and it'll be awesome.

Speaker 6 Hey guys, it's great talking to you, man. Take care.
Get a meeting. Good rest of the summer.
Thanks so much.

Speaker 1 You too. See you.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's finish up with a couple segments. By the way, I love the beat reporters, the baseball beat reporters just reporting on all these intra-squad practices.

Speaker 1 They're like, good news, the Cubs are pitching great. Bad news, the Cubs are getting no hit.
Right.

Speaker 3 It can't be both good. There's just absolutely no way that it can be a double win.
I like that they were saying, like, if you think that Max Scherzer was fun to watch

Speaker 3 with people in the stands, he is way more better to watch, way better to watch with nobody in the stands because you can hear him just cussing out every single batter, even in an inner squad scrimmage.

Speaker 1 Grunting and everything.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's do, we're going to do Embrace Debate, and then we have documentary review. First two episodes of Home Game, which is on Netflix about weird sports.

Speaker 1 So, Embrace Debate. PFD, you have this Embrace Debate.
Yes. I actually have a bonus one, too.

Speaker 3 Okay, mine is LeBron James versus Mike Tyson in a boxing match. Okay.
So this started out going around yesterday as a meme. Skip Bayless addressed it on

Speaker 3 what's his show called? Skip and Shannon, whatever his show. Undisputed? You the man, great show.
Love the show on FS1, Skip.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 But they actually addressed it and debated it. And Shannon.
In a boxing match, LeBron James versus Mike Tyson in his prime. Is that what they were saying?

Speaker 1 I mean, if it's in his prime, that's the dumbest argument of all time.

Speaker 3 It's obviously LeBron James.

Speaker 1 Mike Tyson would fucking crush LeBron James. I don't care how tall LeBron is.
Hand speed, just like everything. Everything about Mike Tony.
LeBron James in his prime versus Mike Tyson now might be

Speaker 1 a conversation. Might be.
Might be. Might be something.
Not even, though. Not even.

Speaker 3 I would still say Mike Tyson.

Speaker 1 LeBron can't get hit because. He got hit.
He would cry. He would literally flop out of that ring.

Speaker 1 He would flop out of the ring.

Speaker 3 Yes, that's right. He would go down.

Speaker 1 Mike Tyson would take a punch. Mike Tyson inside.
LeBron's never been punched in his life.

Speaker 3 Well, so I was talking about that with Bubba before the show started. When was the last time you think LeBron James got into a fight? Maybe in high school?

Speaker 1 He's probably gotten some elbows. He's probably gotten like probably KG and and the big three probably ripped him up a little bit.

Speaker 3 LeBron once jumped over someone in a nutcracker drill in high school football. I read that once.

Speaker 1 That's pretty close to a fight. Thanks, Billy.
He avoided contact.

Speaker 3 I wanted to fight him when he made me look at his dick on repeat when I was going back on DVR trying to find it before the game started at one time.

Speaker 1 He's watched, I mean, he clearly knows what doing a bit is like, so maybe he knows what being in a fight is like.

Speaker 1 That's a good point.

Speaker 1 Yeah, this is crazy. Mike,

Speaker 1 I love whenever we do the boxers

Speaker 1 in their prime, because especially heavyweights. They just kill everyone.
Heavyweights would kill everyone.

Speaker 1 It's like anything. I still can't take a punch from Floyd Mayweather.
Boxing training. I realize that.
LeBron's never been trained to box.

Speaker 3 Yeah. I think I could beat up, if there's like a 90-year-old former professional boxer.
60% of the day. I could beat up Floyd Mayweather's dad in 25 years.

Speaker 1 Remember how fast his hands were?

Speaker 3 Holy shit. Very scary.

Speaker 1 All right. The other embrace debate I had, I want you guys to decide which which side of the argument you are on for this.
I'm going to give you two quotes. Tell me who you agree with more.

Speaker 1 Nobody has ever played golf like Tiger Woods. Nobody's ever handled pressure like Tiger Woods.
Nobody's ever won by a wider margin than Tiger Woods. That's quote one.

Speaker 1 Quote two is, I would argue that Tiger's got the least out of his talent of any player, maybe in history.

Speaker 3 Maybe in history. Who would you side with? I would side with the second person because they're clearly insane and I don't want to get on their bad side.

Speaker 1 Well, it was actually a trick question because it's the same person and it's our friend Brandless Chambliss. Okay, so he is an insane person.
He's an insane person.

Speaker 3 Blindly Chambrosha.

Speaker 1 I guess

Speaker 1 this is his big-time take that he's been throwing out there that no one has left more on the table and gotten the least out of his talent than Tiger Woods.

Speaker 3 He only got 19 majors.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah,

Speaker 1 14 major, whatever it is, like making it seem like majors are the easiest thing in the world to win.

Speaker 3 How many does he have? Like,

Speaker 3 15?

Speaker 1 I think 14, maybe?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I want to say, yeah, 14.

Speaker 3 14. I would say Tiger Woods got the most out of his ability.
Like, being able to bounce back from having all those affairs, that's tough.

Speaker 1 And also just being raised like a cyborg. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That also probably wasn't the easiest thing. Yeah.

Speaker 3 He's the best golfer who's also a Navy SEAL of all time.

Speaker 1 That's just a fact. That's exactly.

Speaker 1 By the way, I didn't like Golf Digest making making fun of our friend Brooks Kapka. He's going through a loss.
He lost Brooks of the Year, Blake of the Year. And

Speaker 1 they tweeted him just like head down. I guess he shot poorly today.
You know what? Brooks is such a good friend. I didn't even look up his score.
It's in the pluses. That's fine.

Speaker 1 Well, I know that, but how bad?

Speaker 3 It's not a major.

Speaker 3 It's not even the Traveler. He's not a third.

Speaker 1 Who cares?

Speaker 1 I didn't even look it up.

Speaker 3 He doesn't show up unless there's a big-ass trophy for you at the end.

Speaker 1 Oh, plus two? Get the fuck out of here.

Speaker 1 Get out of here, Golf Digest. Bounce back.
Haters.

Speaker 1 Dude, he's probably just chilling out.

Speaker 3 Well, shout out to Brooks, who also had a great tweet yesterday.

Speaker 3 And it was just the Kenny Powers on steroids gift. Yep.
Wonder who that could have been directed at.

Speaker 1 I like it.

Speaker 3 Team Brooks on the way to chimpanzee.

Speaker 1 Sometimes we'll have bad rounds. It's golf, dude.
It's golf. It's a Thursday golf.
Golf Digest should know that.

Speaker 3 Nobody cares about Thursday golf. You win championships on Sunday last time I checked.

Speaker 1 All right, let's finish up. We got our documentary review.
We watched the first two episodes of Home Game.

Speaker 3 Oh, I should actually address this real quick before we get to that.

Speaker 3 Following up on our Embrace debate from Wednesday's show, there have been three separate NFL coaches that said that they would hire me as a kicker on game day.

Speaker 1 I saw those tweets. It was a nice Mike Wilbon name drop that I have three

Speaker 1 NFL coaches in my phone.

Speaker 3 I didn't drop any names.

Speaker 3 I also deleted Sean McVay's number from my phone because now he's a green bubble.

Speaker 1 I got it. I have time for that.
Got it.

Speaker 1 So change the number.

Speaker 1 I've been re-watching The Office. Yep.

Speaker 1 do you guys remember the scene when

Speaker 1 I think it's Jim and Pam's first kid is christened and Michael Scott shows up and he's like,

Speaker 1 what an honor for me, the godfather. And Pam's like, I need you to say that you're not the godfather.
And he's like joking around. He's like, no, no.

Speaker 1 Of course I'm not. And he's like, no, no, I need you to say the words.
I'm not the godfather. I need you to say the words that you're not an NFL caliber kicker.
You could make a team. Yes.

Speaker 3 Somehow. Yes.

Speaker 1 Okay. That's all I'm going to do.
No, I need need you to say the words. Oh,

Speaker 3 I'm definitely not an NFL caliber kicker. I know that.
That's never been a good thing.

Speaker 1 I still think

Speaker 1 you're in the top 100,000 kickers in the country. Yes.
But maybe. Replaying that conversation, you did start with 50-50 chance and make a team.

Speaker 3 Listen, I'm not saying I'm an NFL caliber kicker unless I make an NFL team, at which point I am an NFL caliber kicker.

Speaker 1 Then you would absolutely.

Speaker 3 I need to get you invested in this somehow, Big Cat, because

Speaker 1 this movement can be a lot stronger

Speaker 1 if you're on my side. Here's the problem.

Speaker 1 If it were

Speaker 1 all a joke, I'd be in.

Speaker 1 But I can tell there's 25% real. There's like

Speaker 1 actual, I do think I'm an NFL caliber person.

Speaker 3 No, I'm not. I'm definitely not.

Speaker 3 So I actually did the math. There might be

Speaker 3 more than 100,000 better than me. Okay.
Because I was thinking, okay, who am I better at in terms of people that kick for a living?

Speaker 3 Pretty much any college kicker that's graduated in the last 15 to 20 years is better than I am right now.

Speaker 3 Most high school kickers at decent-sized college or decent-sized schools are probably better than me right now. I'll admit that, but do they have a negative antibody test?

Speaker 3 Are they standing outside MetLife Stadium with their cleats in their hand ready to go?

Speaker 3 That was a big part of it.

Speaker 1 I think my issue is: I need you to either say it's a joke, or if you said, like, I really, really think I can make an XFL team and I want to make an

Speaker 1 XFL team on the merits of my kicking, I would be like, let's go. Let's do it.
But I don't know which one it is, so I can't figure it out. And I don't want it to be like,

Speaker 1 I think I can make it. And then when you don't, be like, just a bit.

Speaker 3 So you've seen me kick at my worst when you've been holding for me?

Speaker 1 I've seen you kick at your best too. I've watched the videos.

Speaker 3 You've watched the videos.

Speaker 3 So I'm not bad.

Speaker 1 No, you're not bad, but I'm definitely not bad.

Speaker 3 I'm absolutely not good enough to make any sort of professional football team on my own merits. I will put my hand up.

Speaker 1 But as a joke, you can make it.

Speaker 3 Then I'm in. But as a joke, I can make it.
And if I get a chance in a game, I might make an extra point.

Speaker 1 I think you make an extra point. I absolutely think you make an extra point.
That's one point. From then, which on point, you are truly a professional

Speaker 1 caliber kicker. And the joke was never really a joke.
Yes, then I'm in.

Speaker 3 There is zero part of my brain that thinks that I'm a professional caliber kicker.

Speaker 1 I think the part I struggle with is sometimes I feel like you were like, I actually probably can make this team. Oh, with those vendors? Yeah, and I was like, I don't want you to get your...

Speaker 1 Like, either if you, if you, I thought, I really think, Lynn, I'm, I will support you as a friend, but I also, like, if you think it, but you don't, and we're like caught in that gray area.

Speaker 3 Why are we?

Speaker 3 So I thought that I could make the defenders because I'm not bad, and then they just kind of stash me and then maybe bring me out, kind of like, you know, the make-a-wish kids at the end of the season, where they let the kids score a touchdown.

Speaker 3 And then

Speaker 1 if you got the make-a-wish, then I'm so down to be like,

Speaker 1 yeah, this is a podcast hosted by an ex-X, you know, an ex-pro athlete. At that point, we become Mike and Mike.
It becomes

Speaker 1 the nerd, and I'm the professional caliber. And it becomes them all in because it's like you actually were in there, but yeah, I'm just confused.

Speaker 3 0% in my brain that I think I'm deserving on my merits of being a professional kicker. 1%? 0%.

Speaker 3 1%. Semi-pro.

Speaker 3 Semi-pro.

Speaker 1 Half a percent?

Speaker 3 0%.

Speaker 3 Trust me.

Speaker 1 You could definitely make an extra point. Yes.

Speaker 3 So here's the deal. I'm not professional caliber.
If I got the opportunity

Speaker 3 because of these very specific scenarios that I've set up

Speaker 3 where both the punter and the kick are indisposed due to COVID or me stabbing the punter on the morning before a game, I think I could step in.

Speaker 1 And you're standing in MetLife Stadium parking lot with the negative COVID test that you took 20 minutes before. Yes.

Speaker 3 Or the antibodies.

Speaker 1 Or the antibodies with your cleats. And full uniform, I think they probably would want you to just come full uniform.

Speaker 3 They don't want to have to go. Listen, if I'm going to make this happen, I can't ask them for any favors whatsoever.
I have to be like ready to go in the uniform.

Speaker 1 Favor sign that if you die, whatever.

Speaker 3 Look, on the record, if I die on the field, I'm only holding my own brain responsible for this.

Speaker 3 There's no liability on the NFL, and I'll donate my salary to the children's hospital.

Speaker 1 We should probably have chaps build you a locker that we can put on wheels that you can just put in the hallway. So you don't even have to go in the locker room.
No, I won't even salary with that.

Speaker 1 You just get everything out of the way.

Speaker 3 When the Patriots play there, I'll even get a tattoo on my forearm that says 110%er because that's the kind of effort that I'm going to give.

Speaker 1 Yes, yeah. Listen, I'm ready to go.
All right, we'll bring a net. We'll bring your own balls.
Okay. Yeah.
Yes. If we do all that, we're good.

Speaker 3 What? Don't forget the jock and girdle.

Speaker 1 Jock and girdle. Jock and girdle.
Don't forget the jock and girdle. I always wear a jock strap.

Speaker 3 I'm like to share a lot.

Speaker 1 Don't forget the jock and girdle. All right, yeah.
Yeah, then I think there's a chance that you could get signed.

Speaker 3 I'm not delusional.

Speaker 1 No. Well, you are, but not for that reason.
Yes. Yeah, not for the kicking anymore.

Speaker 1 All right, let's two home game Netflix.

Speaker 1 Okay, so we watched the first two. I guess we'll start with number one.

Speaker 1 What the fuck is that sport called?

Speaker 1 Calcaso Matteato.

Speaker 3 Historico.

Speaker 1 This is the most historic. This is basically Italian dudes being like, you know what we love more than anything? To beat the fuck out of each other.
Let's make a sport out of it.

Speaker 3 It's an excuse to fight.

Speaker 3 This is what happens in society where you have no middle ground sport between like playing soccer and then there's like nothing that's like a little bit more physical than soccer.

Speaker 3 If they had like a big rugby league there or an American football league there, then I don't think that Calcio punch in the face, whatever sport that is, ever exists.

Speaker 3 But because they kind of max out at soccer, you've got a bunch of crazy people that are like, I need a sport for me where I'm allowed to actually get into a fist fight with somebody.

Speaker 1 I went into this being like, oh, this might make rugby look bad. And then I went out of it being like, it makes every sport look bad because every sport is just lame compared to this sport.

Speaker 1 It's violence, it's just fight club with kind of a scoring element.

Speaker 3 Was everybody else on the same page that the red team was going to smash the white team going into it? It's like the red team was stacked with just these massive dudes.

Speaker 3 The goalie on the white team, did you see him? Yes. He looked like fat Kenny Powers.
Yes. I don't know what he was doing out on the court.
He should not have been there. What a sport.

Speaker 1 It actually reminds me, remember those videos?

Speaker 1 Like, I feel like we haven't had any in a long time, but the dudes in Russia that would like meet in the woods, like 50 dudes on each side, and they just beat the fuck out of each other for no reason whatsoever.

Speaker 1 You just add a ball and a little, like I said, a little bit of scoring, and that's this sport.

Speaker 3 Those are soccer hooligan fights.

Speaker 3 Okay, so I was thinking watching this: the fans behind these teams are very passionate, and I like how it's set up where you're born into a district, and that's your team for life.

Speaker 3 You can't switch, right? You have to be red your whole life, you have to be white your whole life, etc.

Speaker 3 When they actually play the games, the supporters that like cheer them into the stadium are very, very passionate. Do you think that there are brawls in the stands during this game? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 UFC fights. They're like UFC fights.

Speaker 3 I love that.

Speaker 3 So it just turns into just not only is there a fight down on the field, part of the game is just like beating the shit out of all the other people from other towns that are happen to be sitting next to you.

Speaker 3 It's like Lincoln Financial Field with an actual fight on the field. Right.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 It really does make all other sports just. Like hockey guys are going to watch this and be like, whoops, we thought we were the tough sport.
It's just a hundred biz nasties going at each other. Yeah.

Speaker 3 No skills.

Speaker 1 Sick sport. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Those guys say the Ryan Whitney sixth sport, sick league to everyone else.

Speaker 3 I'm going to, next time there's like something that happens in the NHL where some guy like takes a dive, I'll be like, you'd never see that from a Couchio champion.

Speaker 1 I also was thinking that I feel like it's one of those situations where all of their players' wives and stuff are like the same.

Speaker 1 It's very much a type where it's like, if you're into that type of guy. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Which is kind of just if you're into Italian guys.

Speaker 3 Guido's. It's where Guidos come from.

Speaker 1 If you're into

Speaker 3 the genesis of Guido's.

Speaker 1 If you're into alpha males, then

Speaker 3 you would like those guys. They all had the McLemore haircut, too, which is very intimidating.

Speaker 1 They could have any haircut. It doesn't matter.

Speaker 3 They all had steroid nipples. The coning.
The coning dyno.

Speaker 1 You would know that for sure.

Speaker 3 I've never done steroids.

Speaker 1 No, I know.

Speaker 3 Would you ever play Billy? I actually might. I don't like the kicking, though.

Speaker 1 You pretty much signed up for UFC now.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I talked myself into the Ultimate Fighter.

Speaker 1 You're in on that.

Speaker 3 I panicked and I was like, ugh. Now I'm going to get my ass beat by a UFC fighter.
Perfect. Imagine being a referee in that sport.

Speaker 1 It'd be pretty tough. Yeah, Joe West, again, pussy.

Speaker 3 What crosses the line? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. All these guys.
And then the other one, the Scottish games, the Highland games. I love this shit.
Just old school, like, who can throw a tree log farther than the other guy?

Speaker 1 Just the dumbest thing.

Speaker 1 And my favorite part about these games are they

Speaker 1 like the evolution of it where it's like, okay, so we have 10 different events and you're thinking like, oh my God, these guys are going to be like the decathlon.

Speaker 1 And it's like, no, it's little rock, big rock, little, like,

Speaker 1 like,

Speaker 1 what else was it? Like,

Speaker 1 even bigger rock. Yeah, like

Speaker 1 shot put the rock.

Speaker 3 A rock that's attached to a string that you have to throw around.

Speaker 1 Little chain, big chain. And just everything is just throwing heavy shit.

Speaker 3 It's just guys being dudes in a backyard. That's really what the sport sport is.
It started out because two guys in kilts were hanging out next to each other.

Speaker 3 The biggest guys in their little village in Scotland. And they were drinking a lot of ale.
And one guy was like, I bet I can throw this rock farther than you.

Speaker 3 And then he's like, well, I bet you I can throw the bigger rock. And it just escalated until one of them threw a tree and killed the other one.

Speaker 3 And they're like, shit, I guess we can't play this sport anymore.

Speaker 1 The only thing I didn't like about this was the storyline, like the Rudy storyline of the little guy. And the whole time I was like, he's going to wow everyone.
And he just,

Speaker 1 he was DQ'd after like four events.

Speaker 3 That's that's a million percent

Speaker 1 the bigger you are yeah the better you are yeah no doubt about it yeah the log toss holy shit it might be a little bit uh after your guys time but there was a disney channel movie uh luck of the irish where this kid was like a leprechaun and and he had to go

Speaker 1 i i was trying to remember it but it was like he he was at the cape cod chip factory he turned into a leprechaun ended up at the scottish games and had to win to like unturn himself into a leprechaun so he could co-win his high school state championship that is the most boston story i've ever heard no it's luck of the irish it was no it it was a Disney channel movie.

Speaker 1 No, I remember that. You remember it, Billy?

Speaker 3 Slightly. It's definitely real.

Speaker 1 That's what I was thinking the whole time. I was just basically trying to remember the plot of Luck of the Irish.
Yeah. I look forward to when you tell us about it in three weeks, Billy.

Speaker 3 Googling it.

Speaker 1 Okay, cool. I just got it.
That's a summary. All right, what do we got? Next week, we got Luke Bryan.
Yeah. That's a great idea.

Speaker 3 We got Dungeons and Dragons coming up.

Speaker 1 Dungeons and Dragons coming up.

Speaker 3 We're going to find out if we can kill Billy after he turned code on us.

Speaker 1 We're going to torture him.

Speaker 1 That will be my first question to Tim Woods. I'm going to be like, how do we make it so that we don't actually kill him, but he basically we just drag him around?

Speaker 3 Oh, he's going to be my little Theon Gray Joy. The stuff that I'm going to put you through.

Speaker 1 Cut his dick off. Make him eat his own penis.

Speaker 1 That's all coming next week. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Protein, though. Like, imagine the gains.
Yeah, dude. She's coming back for me.
The dragon. Okay.
Keep telling yourself that, Billy.

Speaker 1 All right. We'll see you everyone Monday.
Have a safe weekend.

Speaker 3 Love you guys.

Speaker 3 Don't give me away.

Speaker 1 I don't know what to say. I'm saying anyway.

Speaker 1 Today's a motivated following you. Shine away.

Speaker 1 I'll be coming for your love up, gay. Shine away.

Speaker 1 I'll be coming for your love up here.

Speaker 1 Don't

Speaker 1 be

Speaker 1 on me.

Speaker 1 Some be blessed to say,

Speaker 1 I won't say it, spark me, somewhere away.

Speaker 1 Slowly learning the life is okay. Say after me.

Speaker 1 It's a letter to say to sorry. Say after me.

Speaker 1 It's a letter to be safe to sell me. Things like the same

Speaker 1 is a liable. Just a way that buries away.

Speaker 1 You all things I've got to remember. I'm shining away.

Speaker 1 I'll come for you anyway.

Speaker 1 Shiny away.

Speaker 1 I'll come for you anyway.

Speaker 1 take on me.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 take on me,

Speaker 1 take on me.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 me,

Speaker 1 take on me.