Dana White, Mike O'Malley, And The NBA's Motel 6

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
Three, two, one. On today's Pardon My Take, you literally just, you burped as I was saying three, two, one.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. All right, well, on today's Pardon My Take, that was a great start.
I like how Billy burped into the mic.

You can't talk into the mic.

Were you just waiting?

That was like farting in someone's backswing.

It came up.

I'm sorry.

Bryson DeChambeau would kick your ass.

All right, well, we have a great show today.

We have Dana White, Fight Island.

Maybe not really Fight Island, but it's close enough to Fight Island.

We also have an awesome interview with Mike O'Malley.

One of those interviews where, hey, we don't know how this is going to go.

We never talked to him, and it turned out to be fucking great. And we're going to have him in studio soon, and we're going to do something awesome for charity.
Maybe a little aggro crag. So listen up for that.
We have NBA coming back, college football probably being canceled, Fire Fest of the Week, Embrace Debate, and a documentary review of Home Game, the first two episodes. Before we get to all of that, part of my take is brought to you by the Cash App.
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Okay, let's go. Boy!

Boy!

Now in the street there is violence

And I'm not allowed to solve the work that we've done No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, place to hang alone washing And then I can't blame all on the sun Oh no, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Take presented by the Cash App. Go download it right now.
Use code BARSTOL. You get $10 for free, $10 to ASPCA.
Today is Friday, July 10th. LeBron James has tweeted, just left the crib to head to the bubble.
Shit felt like I'm headed to do a bid, man. That's true.
You got to punch the biggest guy that you see the second that you get there. If that's Mike Tyson, then how about it? Dwight Howard.
Dwight Howard. He'll probably do that anyway.
This is the news. We have sports sort of coming back, and the news is NBA players letting everyone know how bad the bubble is.
We had Rondo tweeting a picture of his hotel room that looked like a very nice hotel room, called it a Motel 6. We had Troy Daniels.
I'm not here for the Motel 6 sler, by the way. I enjoy a good Motel 6.

You're not getting any, no frills whatsoever.

I'm more a little Quinta guy myself.

Yeah.

You know what?

I just like hotels in general.

You just go in, you run the hot shower,

get that hot water going for like 30 minutes at a time.

Just keep it running the whole time.

So we had Troy Daniels on,

and also someone else I think from the Nets. I think else, I think, from the Nets.

I think Chris, who tweeted something from the Nets as well?

I'm not sure who tweeted from the Nets.

But Troy Daniels tweeted out his meal.

The meal that looked like it was an airplane tray set up in front of him.

And, well, I actually, when I read it, I was like, it actually kind of looks pretty good.

I mean, it had everything.

Yeah, my eyes went directly to the fruit cup and then to that piece of bread that he had that looked like it was rock hard that you could use to just like scrape stains off a wall with that that was one of those moments where I had to take a step back because Twitter was roasting the meal and I was like wait is he gonna eat all that yeah can you pass that to me don't go on Twitter don't go grocery shopping hungry and don't go on Twitter hungry. But we have NBA players.
Joel Embiid got on a flight in a full hazmat suit. It's very funny.
I think it's going to suck because now we're going to have the backlash. You guys get paid millions of dollars to play a kid's sport and you're complaining about this.
And I agree to an extent that like it's not as bad as you probably are making out seem well it probably does suck to have to go live in fucking isolation for three months it's also today's day and age like if we were going to live in a bubble we would be tweeting oh absolutely videos yeah like of our experience well we were also wrong about this we thought that it was going to be like the socio o Olympics where everybody goes in and they tweet out oh my the shower curtain

in my bathroom is missing two hooks

it's not walking down the hallway

yeah the Jimmy Kimmel stunts it's

not the journalists that are doing it it's

actually the players the players have self

deputized as Karens I actually

want every NBA player should get

a Yelp account and I want to read their Yelp

reviews of the hotel afterwards is this

one of those situations they're just basically

trying to look for like pre sympathy

because they want everyone to know like hey we're putting the country on our back here playing sports because I don't think anyone said it was awesome that they had to go down there but we also were like hey they do get paid millions of dollars and I don't know it's not going to be they're not going to be living in Motel sixes right right they're probably in decent places they're in okay places and i was looking at rondo's picture that he put up of his hotel and i was trying to find i was treating it like it was a picture hunt game trying to find out what he was mad about in his hotel don't fuck with cats i couldn't figure yeah i was like zooming in on it i was like wait there's got to be something in the background i'm missing cleaners from romania i had no idea what what he was upset about in that hotel room. None.
That place looked like it was better than my dorm room in college. It was better than any room that I've ever lived in until I was maybe like 28 years old, 29 years old.
I think what we're finding out too is just being an NBA player is probably pretty fucking sweet otherwise because Rondo being like this is a Motel 6 and everyone else being like I'll stay there. there.
Yeah, I get it. They're used to something a little different because they make millions of dollars, and now they're in a bubble, and they're going to get their complaints off.
I'm fine with that. So we were talking earlier about Stephen A.
Smith's take about how there aren't going to be any groupies inside the bubble. Maybe there will be.
Maybe there won't be. Is there going to be a weed guy in there? Probably.
I think that's a BYO thing. Dion Waiters? Dion Waiters, he's going to take a picture of his hotel room.
It's going to look like that picture of Johnny Depp's nightstand that got put online yesterday. I don't think they have to worry about it because they're not going to, what? That picture.
You see that picture? I didn't see it. It's something.
Sometimes you're way more online than me. No, I mean, it's he likes to party.
Johnny Depp. I'm kind of woke on it, though.
I saw some woke non-believers being too set up. I was kind of with it.
The whiskey glass. What is it? The license was turned upside down.
Yep, the license was upside down, so you couldn't see who it was. The lines of powder.
Wait, he put this picture on? No, his girlfriend did. His wife.
His ex-wife. Yeah, this is what Johnny does for lunch every day.
I mean, Johnny Depp, the minute he did Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, he just became Hunter S. Thompson.
There's no ether in that picture. The non-writing version of Hunter S.
Thompson. He's like, I'm just going to be a drug guy that does drugs all day.
He became Nicolas Cage in Leaving Las Vegas. Right.
Well, remember he played Hunter S. Thompson.
Right, right. He became that guy.
He just did it. He's method, man.
Yeah. Deal with it.
He's a great actor. I'm going to be this character for the rest of my life.
But yeah, NBA players, I feel like they have like a week to get all their complaints off and then we can accept them and then they'll probably be somewhat normalized. The Troy Daniels thing, they said, too, that they were giving out those meals

just for the first two days,

and then it's like chefs

and the whole thing.

I saw a new meal.

I saw a picture of the new meal

that came out.

It looked pretty good.

It was like some nice medium rare

plus steak with chimichurri sauce.

It had some shrimp in there,

some wild rice.

I think they're stepping it up.

I think Adam Silver also

was probably sent out a memo

like, hey, guys,

no more of this.

Like, let's start tweeting out the good pictures.

Yeah.

LeBron James definitely has his own wine cellar in there.

He definitely has like a suite that's just dedicated to be set at like 51 degrees to

make sure his reds are nice and crisp.

The sweetheart hierarchy, I hope a little bit more comes out about that because I am

curious about that because clearly they're just in hotel rooms on floors with normal

rooms.

There's got to be suites in those hotels.

Are players like are they?

LeBron has to have a suite.

Well, and like how mad is Rondo going to be? Well, and also I think there's I actually am all in on complaints from players that don't have any chance of winning a title because this sucks for them. Like if you are on a team that's like five, six, seven, eight,

or even lower in the rent in the seeds.

And you're like, I have to go live here and then get the shit kicked out of me by yannis or lebron why would i do that but like if you're rondo if you're lebron if you're a contender you're there because you're trying to win a title and you probably can yeah i mean the nets are just lucky to have anybody down there at all i like they just signed beasley there you go super cool bees is going down there i love that i like big cats take yesterday you're finally getting on board the tim tebow bandwagon put tim tebow on tv playing a sport it doesn't matter if he's on the mets or if he's playing for the nets people will tune in and watch tim tebow yes or just put it like a the nets are close to just havingT team out there. Just throw a TBT out there, and they probably would do decent.
They wouldn't get, like, absolutely destroyed. But, yeah, the NBA coming back, I don't know how any of this is going to work, and I guess that segues to college football feels like we're in a bad spot, and fuck the Ivy League again.
They started it. I know that they didn't really start it, as soon as they canceled I was like this is going to get everyone because the smartest guys in the room are like hey we don't think it's safe and everyone else feels pressure so we have the Big Ten, the ACC and the Pac-12 have all either outright said it or implied that they're going to do a conference only schedule this year and I'm ready for the debate of who gets to the playoffs because it will be insufferable and amazing at the same time.
I'm of two mindsets right now. My first mindset is doing this type of schedule and announcing it this far in advance is kind of telling me that's a half measure, where it's like this is just a step towards maybe them pushing back the entire season to the spring or delaying it, canceling it, whatever.
They're not going to cancel it. I hope not.
They'll play back-to-back seasons next fall. Everybody wear a fucking mask so that we can have sports, so that we can have goddamn college football is what I'm getting at.
But my second mindset is I am with Big Cat. I am very excited to see who gets left out because inevitably we're going to have an undefeated orfeated or one lost team from the sec from the big 12 from the big 10 the pack 12 and the acc and i'm hoping i am hoping so badly that clemson gets left out it would be the takes that dabbo would come out with at that point he might just secede the acc from the rest of the entire NCAA.
No, what's going to happen is an SEC team will have one loss, and Alabama will go undefeated, and everyone will be like, well, the second-best team is clearly the one-loss SEC team, and then an SEC team will have two losses. They'll be like, well, clearly, and then we're just going to have the SEC Final Four.
That'd be great. I'm on board for that.
That's what's going to happen. And then Texas A&M will find a way to claim it as a national title on the side of their stadium.
Yeah. Yes, absolutely.
And also Vanderbilt. Vanderbilt gets one.
Yes, Vanderbilt. UCF, obviously.
So you mentioned the mask thing, like wear a mask to play football. Totally agree.
I am been wearing a mask. I've had this stupid neck gator on for three, four months now.
Never take it off pretty much. But I'm getting close.
If I have to see another fucking Twitter, like, blue checkmarkerjournalist tell absolutely no one to tweet into the void to wear a mask, I might just fucking protest and stop wearing a mask. Because you realize you're tweeting to absolutely no one who is not

already wearing a mask they are the people on twitter are wearing masks the people on facebook aren't the people outside living their life are not on twitter or facebook and they're just living their life without a mask you are going online every day just to tweet hey guys reminder wear a mask and not one fucking person will ever be like, oh, the beat writer for the fucking Oregon Ducks told me to wear a mask, better wear a mask. No, I disagree.
When Dan Woken tells me that, I'm like, yep, better strap one on. They're pushing me to the edge, PFT.
I might do it out of protest. We've talked about this.
This is the mark of a true mental alpha being able to ignore the messenger if you hate them while accepting the fact that what they say might be correct in certain instances. No, I'm going to protest.
I'm not going to. I'm going to keep wearing a mask.
It makes me so angry every time I see them. And it's like four likes and two retweets.
And it's the same people that are liking and retweeting it.

You are talking to no one about wearing a mask.

Now, I'm also thinking ahead of, you know,

obviously we have these power conferences that are going to be scheduling

against each other.

What is Notre Dame going to do?

I think they're going to give them a full ACC schedule, would be my guess.

They could play against Liberty every game.

I don't know if those schools are going to be the ones that struggle. No scoring allowed in that game.
No, they're going to play ACC schedule. Yeah.
I mean, they're part of the ACC. That's true.
So they're just going to fold them in, and that will be the college. I think we're going to play a spring season.
If I had to guess right now, it does feel like one of those, let's delay it, delay it, delay it, and then we'll say spring season. All it takes is for one Power Five conference to say that we're going to delay it

and then everybody else is going to do the same.

Or if you're smart, everybody just kind of keeps their mouth shut

and it's a big game of chicken.

And then right before the games actually get going,

one of the commissioners says, we're going to play our schedule in the spring.

Then they get to claim a national championship in the spring season.

Yes, spring national championship.

I think this is our food. Hold on, Billy.
Hello? Do food stand in the lobby? All right, thank you. All right, Billy, go get the food.
All right, that's our food. Go get it.
Go get it. What are you doing? All right, he's getting his wallet.
I also had to at least point out I love college football coaches. A running theme from the show from the beginning is football guys, and there's nothing more football guy than the college coach and our friend jim harbaugh uh who basically spent what are you guys laughing about no i oh we're all gonna go there no no i'm glad you are no no yeah i mean this is i expected if jim harbaugh didn't do this i'd be mad at jim harbaugh because if you look two, all the college football coaches were like, we'll do whatever's right for the players.
We have to be smart about this. Now that we're getting close to, you know, practice and training camp, they're like, fuck coronavirus.
Let's play. His quote was COVID is part of our society.
It wasn't caused by football or caused by sports. There's no expert view right now that I'm aware of that sports is going to make that worse i fucking love it he's like hey guess what we we we danced around with this covet thing we did our thing for a couple months but now it's actually impacting football fuck coronavirus you're out yeah you have to understand that this is not a football problem right he says it right there there.
Why is football being punished for something they didn't start?

Yes.

That's a good question.

It's true.

It's unfair.

It's unjust.

It should be baseball because they hang out with bats all the time.

Right.

There you go.

That was like 2.3.

2.2.

Off the top of my head, that's pretty good.

That was great.

Thanks, Hank.

There we go.

That's 2.2.

Not in here.

Not in here.

Not in here.

Billy, I need you to explain this joke real quick.

Okay, Billy.

So we're talking about Jim Harbaugh's take about how football didn't cause the coronavirus. I said that you should point the finger at baseball because they use bats all the time.
You know what else they say? There should be a lot more defense in the bubble because there's no groupies. So that means no one's going to score.
Okay. That was good, Billy.
That was significantly worse. 1.8 there's no not yours yeah not yours i thought about that definitely not i said that like five minutes ago really yeah liberty and notre dame uh no wrapping up with notre dame catholics get it yep okay um so i also love the nfl being like uh we're not gonna do jersey swaps can tackle each other for three hours.
You know what? And be standing next to each other for three hours and do all of this for getting a pile. But if you try to fucking jersey swap, they should just line teams up six feet away from each other and just have them throw them to each other.
I like that. That's good.
But yeah, it's the it made no sense for them to say that. That was that was PR one on one.
That F-minus move by them. Well, when it comes to jersey, that's something that maybe we could meet halfway on if we're not going to be tweeting out, no matter what, wear a mask to people.
Maybe we just remind our listeners, no jersey swapping. No jersey swapping.
If you guys stop jersey swapping in your offseason of football, then we'll get to have football in the spring. Yes.
Odell Beckham is the only one only one that would be like oh got to get a hazmat suit uh lamar jackson but that's not his fault yeah no everyone else wants it billy can you take the food out of here it smells so good all right let's get to our fire fest get back here for your fire fest billy billy's got a great fire fest actually genuinely a great fire fest uh before we do that pft you have a quick Yes, a great, great company. I've got a million dollars he takes piece of pizza before he comes back.
Yes. A million.
A great company that's been advertising with us recently. Oh, we did it.
This is... We want to nail this one, guys.
Yeah. Yeah, you got this.
Because this is actually one of our favorite companies. It's 3Chi.
3Chi, you've heard us talk about before. It's the leader in hemp-derived cannabinoid products.
Basically, I'm going to go off script here because they sent a box of their stuff. It's got some of the little droplets.
It's got some gummies. It's got a couple of vape cartridges and a vape rig that they sent to my apartment.
I tried it thinking this was going to be normal CBD stuff. It might relax me a little bit.
This stuff is the real deal. I feel comfortable saying that I really enjoyed the next four to five hours after I eat one of those gummies for the first time.
The gummies are the truth. You feel great.
I'll put it that way. I don't know what I am and am not allowed to promise, but I will promise that immediately after using three cheese products, you will feel great.
And when Three Cheese released their Delta 8 THC products, they were the first federally legal THC products sold in the USA since Prohibition started almost 90 years ago. You might ask, what is Delta 8? Delta 8 is a federally legal version of THC, okay? So it's totally legal no matter where you live.
Its effects are a perfect hybrid of CBD and Delta 9, and Delta 9 is the stuff that you usually go after, the stuff that Dion Waiters had too much of on an airplane and made him do an emergency landing. This is their version of the Delta 9 stuff, okay? This is called Delta 8.
It gives you a similar buzz in all the medicinal effects of Delta 9 without the laziness, without the anxiety, without the paranoia, without the mental fogginess. I'll put it this way.
Before I did the hot dog eating contest against the bear, I hit a couple puffs of this vape rig, got some of that Delta 8 in my system. I ended up eating seven hot dogs in 10 minutes, which was more than I thought I'd be able to do.
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So that's PMT. that's the code you're going to use at checkout when you go to three chi.com go to three chi.com use promo code pmt okay uh let's do fire fest hank you want to start sure i'll start uh a couple a couple weekends ago for my birthday i was you, thank you.
Did we forget to say happy birthday? No, I think we did this a couple weeks ago, actually. You were on vacation.
Did you want more birthday love? No, no vacation. It was a mandatory out of office for the week.
I had no choice. But I got a cast iron skillet.
I didn't really know anything about them. I always hear people talk about them, and I didn't look into the preparation the preparation of what you do before and after i was just like oh it's just a big you know

a big grill or whatever you call it like a big big pot or pan cooked a steak on it tried to clean it

after put soap on it and like spent some time trying to clean it it like wouldn't get clean

i came in and talked to pft i was like dude i got and i because i saw afterwards i was editing his

video of the skyline chili in the cast iron skillet i was like dude i can't get my cast iron skillet clean.

He's like,

you're not

clean.

I'm not

clean.

I'm not

clean.

I'm not

clean.

I'm not

clean.

I'm not

clean.

I'm not

clean.

I'm not

clean.

I'm not

clean.

I'm not

clean.

I'm not

clean.

I'm not

clean.

I'm not

clean.

I'm not

clean.

I'm not

clean.

I'm not

clean.

I'm not

clean.

I'm not

clean.

I'm not

clean.

I'm not

clean.

I'm not

clean.

I'm not

clean.

I'm not

clean.

I'm not clean. I'm notFT.
I was like, dude, I got – because I saw afterwards I was editing his video of the Skyline Chili in the cast iron skillet.

I was like, dude, I can't get my cast iron skillet clean.

He's like, you're not supposed to do soap.

You're not supposed to do this.

You're not supposed to do that.

And so I think I fucked up my cast iron skillet after one use.

Yeah.

Well, no, you can get back.

So getting a cast iron –

It still has the steak imprint in it to this day.

Yeah.

It's a lot like having a baby, the amount of work that you have to put into a cast iron. So it takes a lot of work.
Something you know a lot about. No, it's probably more difficult.
It's probably more difficult. You don't have to rub oil all over your baby, do you? No, I do not rub oil.
Okay, so well, I have to rub oil all over my cast iron. So what you do, Hank, is you just use water and then you just scrub it with some sort of steel wool or abrasive pad that you don't put soap on you don't have to put soap on it and then you rub oil on it put in the oven at like 350 for maybe half an hour every single time that you use it for like the first five times i know it sounds like pain in the ass after you're done with those first five times it'll be your favorite thing to cook with by far and this is not hank pulling a chrissy tegan where you're asking Mindy Kaling.
Oh, yeah, Mindy Kaling. Yeah.
No, I don't want another cast iron skill. It's heavy as fuck.
I don't need another one. You could do that and take care of it, or you could just put it under your bed and have it in case a robber shows up.
I don't even know that. I don't need two-handed baseball bat.
Just bring somebody with it. Real quick question.
If you don't oil your baby, what the hell is baby oil for? Jacking off. Yeah.
I mean, I don't oil my baby down. What's baby oil for? I think I just explained.
I think it's oil made out of babies. Uh-huh.
Like Soylent. Mm-hmm.
So that's my Firefest. Okay.
It's an alternative to olive oil. I'm a cast iron man, but I use a lodge.

I don't go for that bullshit Le Cruze $400 stuff. Get you like $50 cast iron.
You'll be able to pass it down to your grandkids if you ever get an erection and have sex. My fire fest of the week is that ESPN is bringing Mike Greenberg back to the airwaves.
I think it's like noon till 2. No other radio counter-programming against that in the sports world out there from noon till two every day.
But Greeny's coming back, but Golik is gone. So it's like, the ship's passing in the night.
The second that Golik's gone, Greeny comes back. It's not gonna be Mike and Mike anymore, ever.
I've just resigned myself to the fact that they're gone for good. It's just going to be Mike.
It's going to be little Mike solo, maybe with his wife. Maybe it'll be the two Greenies just, like, bickering at each other for two hours every afternoon.
Need more Mike Greenberg in sports media. Yeah, throw some more Jay Williams with him, too.
Yeah, the sports media world needs more Mike Greenberg. All Mike Greenberg does now is he does Get Up.
He does some Summer First Take, I think. He does a radio show now, and then he hosts SportsCenter specials.
I think he just hosts everything now on ESPN. They're like, we're paying you this much money.
We're going to have you live inside the studio here in New York City. Golic's a legend of the game.
He is. He is a legend of the game.
He is. Very nice, and we love the Golic family.
We did take the Golic side. Radio hosts like him.
Like, he's a thing of the – sadly, like, I feel like the next generation is just not, like – What I don't understand is, like, you see how the media is going, and you see how, like, people get attached to personalities, opinions, you know, debate, people having – you know, saying something interesting, and then you're like, we need more Mike more mike greenberg well it's because mike greenberg is so easy to not hate because you can't it's so hard to form any sort of an opinion or have any sort of emotional response to anything mike greenberg says and he reads a great ad like at the up front at the up front it's like a great mike greenberg ad reads pleaseindra Tractors, click on the microphone, enter promo code Mike. My Firefest is, the scientist discovered the hungriest hole.
I think it's a black hole. And I'm just getting tagged on it saying, we already found Big Cat's belly button.
So that's my Firefest. It's pretty short and sweet.
It is dragged online because someone found a hole. It's a deep hole.
I have a deep hole as well. Has it ever engulfed anything? Yeah.
John's seen his penis, micro penis. It's true.
Please call it what it actually is. It's tiny.
We said that this was going to be a good fire fest. Are you ready? Yeah.
I got a speeding ticket when I was driving out west. Where? It was in Minnesota.
Okay. It was early in the morning.
The roads were open and clear. So you can speed.
What? Speed limits don't count before 7 a.m. If it's early, you can speed.
I didn't see. There was no cops on the road, but I recently, right before the show started, received a text from my mother.
And she was like speeding ticket came in the mail for you i was like what turns out there was a speeding camera that caught me and i was like uh and uh what that was the damage i was doing 89 and i 55 yikes dude ezekiel Elliott type stuff. Roads were open, though.
The roads were open. No one caught me.
True. Besides the camera.
Wait, so there was no cops on the road? It was just a camera? That actually is bullshit. Okay, so I kind of...
I thought they defunded the police in Minnesota. So you were good.
Yeah. I can see how you'd understand that.
You can reply that. Reply that to the letter.
Yeah, just be like, didn't you guys defund last week? It sounds like Billy's really upset at the police right now. That's Antifa Billy right now.
I know. I legit was like, oh, there's no police working because of everything.
So you're saying you drove all the way to South Dakota and you were like following the speed limit. Then you got to Minnesota and you're like, I read the news.

They defunded these guys.

I'm good.

Yeah, but I didn't see any police anyway.

So I got caught on the speeding camera.

I got a really bad speeding ticket.

Turns out the cameras were not defunded.

Cameras.

Yeah, the robots.

Takes a while to shut those down.

Yeah.

They got to run through the tape.

All right.

So what was the amount of money?

$300.

Oh, that's...

Yeah, that's about right.

But it's not reckless.

It wasn't reckless driving, was it?

I don't know.

Wait, let me...

It was 55.

I was going 89.

Do you have a warrant out for your arrest?

I might.

Can someone check that?

Just say that you were a vampire.

You had to get home before the sun came up.

True.

Well, it was 6.30 in the morning, I think.

I don't know about time, but that's central time. So it's 7.30 here.
Yeah. So it wasn't that early.
It was rush hour. I just like you thought you were going to defund.
They defunded the police. You actually thought that.
I actually thought there was going to be no police working. Yeah, that wasn't.
Then there weren't. That wasn't a joke.
Like, you were like, I'm good. Minnesota.
What are they going to do? Arrest me? Yeah. Yeah.
They got it. They're all gone.
What, are they going to arrest me with a social worker? No. Did they catch you with your unlicensed chickens that you had in the car? No, you don't need a license for a chicken.
Yeah, you do. James Garrison would beg to differ.
Can't you go over state line? No, the chickens weren't with me. Oh, okay.
You were neglecting them. You sure they weren't? No comment.
Okay. All right, let's get to our interviews.
We've got two awesome interviews coming up. We have Dana White and then Mike O'Malley.
Boston boys. Before we do that, Dana White looking jacked too.
Holy shit, does he look fucking jacked. I don't know what he's been doing.
Did you guys not think that? No, he definitely looks jacked. Well, he said he was in quarantine.
He's been in quarantine probably for like half of the last probably month because he's been going to different fights everywhere. Yeah.
So what are you going to do in quarantine besides just rip arm curls? Yeah. So he's got, we talk about Fight Island with him, and Mike O'Malley was an awesome, awesome interview.
Definitely a recurring guest. Before we do all that, Bose is back after coming out as sponsor of our NFL draft coverage.
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We can personally vouch for how great these headphones are okay here he is Dana White okay we now welcome on recurring guest friend of the program Dana White we got UFC 251 coming on Sunday or Saturday night fight island fight island it is finally now, Dana, you know that we would never criticize you.

But some people might be saying that Fight Island isn't really living up to the hype of Fight Island because you're not actually fighting on a beach.

What would you say to those people, not us?

Well, Fight Island, we're on an island.

We're on Yaz Island, Abu Dhabi. Never did I say the fight was on the beach.
Let me tell you what a shit show you're asking for if you want to try and have a fight on a beach. Yeah.
What would happen, though? Because I thought, I mean, when I saw the original video of the beach, my first thought was Hulk Hogan turning heel bash at the beach. I was like this is what we're doing that would be sick my second was how is this going to make sense so do you think that uh the people who are saying this bullshit you're not fighting on a beach what do we say to them first of all just the lighting rig the lighting rig that would have to be set up for the thing to look you know even remotely professional would be impossible to do on the beach uh you gotta work oh not to mention the fact that it's 118 degrees here with 100 humidity so uh you would drop dead walking to the octagon and for the people who thought it was literally on a beach you're a fucking idiot well i i think we both thought that it was going to be on a beach but we are fucking idiots like but for the lighting rig you just light a bunch of torches and like have just fire everywhere just like fire pits and that makes sense that's what i'm picturing something like primal something awesome here's how you can kind of win over some of those people not us again who might be saying it's not really fight island uh just tell everybody that all the water around it, it's shark-infested water.

So if you just say, like, we're surrounded by shark-infested water,

immediately that bumps it up a notch in the Fight Island kind of rankings in my head.

Let me tell you this.

With the fight card that we got going on here, what we pulled off during this pandemic,

the people that are worried about that it's not on the beach in the sand I don't want them to watch anyway they're fucking stupid and they they I don't know what they should watch but it's definitely not this fight on Saturday night so let's talk about the card because it is an awesome awesome card and uh the main event getting Jorge Masvidal who's a friend of he's going to put Usman into the shadow realm. Talk to me quickly about that fight.
How, like, that fight is going to be great, and then what other fights are you looking for being like, this is going to be another one people aren't expecting? Well, first of all, I mean, you know, there's three title fights. The Jan Aldo fight is going to be very good, And obviously Volkanovski versus Max Holloway.
Max Holloway, you know, looked at as probably the best 145-pounder ever. He got beat narrowly by Volkanovski in the last fight.
Max thought he won. Volkanovski thought he won.
So, you know, that's a great fight. And that Rosna Majunas versus Jessica Andrade rem and raj rematch i don't know if you guys remember but uh and raj picked rose namajunas up and dropped her on her head on the fight in brazil uh that rematch i mean the whole card is just stacked with with great fights so i was reading about how you guys are handling the fight you're going to be fighting on east coast time so you're just basically pretending that you're not halfway around the world right Are you just like, are you trying to stay away from windows and like away from the sun so that your body doesn't know what time of day it is? Yeah, that's that is true.
I've been quarantined for friggin, you know, 48 hours. It's eight o'clock at night here.
I just woke up like an hour ago. So yeah, we're today is the first day that we're going to be able to actually go outside and go do something.
Tonight. Not today, but tonight.
And, yeah, it's been a tough transition, especially with quarantine. If we came in and didn't have to quarantine, you would actually force yourself to get up and go out and do things.
But we've just been in our room for two days um i i just saw this tweet on twitter uh

from darren ravelli said expect a class action lawsuit from ufc fans because fight island's not actually on the beach what do you say about that what a dickhead that guy i made that up by the way but yeah i made that up oh shit i was just gonna say that's literally what darren I totally made that.

That's funny.

But he could.

That's a good one. I was just going to say, that's literally what Darren Ramos said.

I totally made that.

That's funny.

But he could.

That's a good one, boys.

Yeah, he could.

He could.

I did.

I especially like his.

And he probably would.

Yeah, he probably would.

His tweet yesterday where he was like, just so everyone knows, LeBron James Company didn't apply for a PPP loan.

And then later he had to correct and be like, actually, I'm told that they did.

But then they just rejected the money after. Wait, did you guys apply for a PPP loan.
And then later he had to correct and be like, actually, I'm told that they did. But then they just rejected the money after.
Wait, did you guys apply for a PPP loan? No, we did not. Okay, breaking news.
UFC did not apply for a PPP loan. Please credit.
Pardon my tape. Yes, yes.
Good job. Good job not.
Good job getting Masvidal at kind of the last second ready to fight. I feel like he's just a guy that's always ready.
You could just call him up and be like, hey, there's a fight in six hours. And he would just get on a plane and he'd be like, yeah, I don't care.
I'm going to go beat whoever's ass. I'm going to face.
Oh man. That's fucking funny.
You guys, you guys got me with that one. Yeah.
I could still see the vein in your, in your forehead after that one. Um, what, so you also have a trademark uh ufc sea um when did you hire rick riley to work on your staff rick riley yeah i mean ufc that's a that's a terrible uh pun is that a pun is that technically a pun kind of a pun kind of a pun it's pretty lame like when did you guys decide to go that route well you you don't

know the story behind that then do you oh okay shit are you gonna tell me someone died or something god damn it all right no no john oliver john oliver has been ripping me about fight island for uh you know a couple months now and when we when the term the name fight island he said is is is ridiculous and stupid.

It should have just been called UFC.

So then I went out and trademarked UFC after he said it. Then he did another show saying, can you fucking believe this guy actually trademarked UFC? So he went and got one of my old trademarks and, and, and created some, some merchandise, uh, that you could buy on his website with i will submit oh and uh it just it just been this back and forth thing going on with me and john oliver that's pretty good okay now that makes sense i should have known that you had a good story behind it it wasn't just simply ufc look at this uh awful pun okay all right that that plays also i said to you before we started um i don't know what your workout routine is but your fucking biceps look awesome right now dude thanks well you know during quarantine i've been doing two a days during quarantine and uh i've been working out hard yeah thank you um we've got our intern billy football here he's he's holding the mic up to his own face right now he's apparently really eager to you some questions.
So we'll give him one question at a time and we'll pull him back like he's on a little leash. Yeah, you just let us know.
If he crosses line, we'll just choke collar him real quick. What's up, buddy? Hi, Mr.
Wade. First question.
Last time we talked to you was around June 5th and Conor McGregor retired on June 6th. Do you think he's actually taking, you know, retiring he's done or do you think he's just taking a break because of, you know, social distancing and whatnot? Yeah, no, that's a good question.
He, he, who knows? I mean, he's done it before. I don't think that Conor has, has retired for good.
But I always say whenever you feel like you should retire you should this isn't a sport that you can half-ass you got to be all in on this thing and i think connor's just going to take some time and uh and sit back and and figure out who's next you know and it probably won't be until next year.

Okay, good question,

Billy. Go ahead, you get another one.

As long as he asks a good question, we're going to get him,

we're going to let him stick going. It's a streak for the cash.

Yeah, right. Hot hand.

How many of us do you think it would take to beat up Conor McGregor?

Okay, Billy.

How many of who?

There's six of us in this room.

There's six of us part of this podcast in this room right now. How many do you think it would take for us to beat up Conor McGregor? I think it would take all six of you.
I think a couple of you are definitely going to be hesitant and not jump right in, and Conor will fuck up three or four of you before the other two decide to jump in. Somebody's probably going to run i i got connor with connor wins against all

six of you okay okay can i have a last yeah none of us are over the age of 60 though so we might be hesitant to just punch us in the head okay last question billy go ahead okay would you ever consider doing a super heavyweight uh weight class like 300 plus good question like like two sumo wrestlers why no i because traditionally when you get guys that get that heavy the fights aren't that fun they're not that exciting those guys aren't very athletic um i like it i like the 265 limit you have to be 265 or under what about butterbean what about i'd watch what about what about it wasn't it wasn't you but uh what about dot up 5000 versus Kimbo Slice? One of the funniest fights I've ever watched in my life. RIP.
Yeah. Well, those guys weren't, you know, those guys were both guys who had fought plenty of times before.
And, you know, they both weren't in shape. I mean, the Dada guy fucking died during that fight.
He had to be brought back.

Yeah.

But that's funny.

You got to be like, you should just throw one of those out every few months,

being like, here's a funny fight, 400 pounders, like one minute rounds.

I don't do funny fights.

Ah, shit.

That's not what I do.

There are people out there that do that.

I'm not the guy that does the funny fights.

Okay.

Rough and Rowdy.

Shout out, Rough and Rowdy.

Billy, you have another question. Billy, last go make it good come on come on Billy you're on the spot I didn't think you guys would let me ask this many mad.
Can I be on The Ultimate Fighter? Okay, Billy.

Oh, sure.

Yes.

Oh, he said yes. Yes.

Yes.

Okay.

Is there going to be a new season of Ultimate Fighter?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

There's another season of The Ultimate Fighter coming.

Okay.

Billy can be on it.

He can absolutely come try out for it.

Yes.

Sweet.

Yes.

So, actually, I think I spoke.

I read an interesting quote from you early today, actually, that you said that that Forrest

Griffin fight at the end of season one of the Ultimate Fighter saved the UFC. Yeah, 100%.
How did it save the UFC? Because at the time, I was pretty invested in it, but I didn't know that it was in trouble. Yeah, so what happened was we were burning cash.
We were like $33 million in a hole. And the ultimate fighter was the last $10 million investment that the Fertitta's made into the company.
And, um, you know, the ultimate fight, there was so much shit that went on throughout that season of the ultimate fighter was spike TV and, you know, on the set and things that could have gone wrong. And the Forrest Griffin-Stefan Bonner fight was so good at the end of the season.
It pulled a massive number, and I knew that no matter what happened with Spike TV at the end of that deal, we were going to end up somewhere. That's what Billy will do for the next season of Ultimate Fighter.
Oh, absolutely. He will put asses in seats.
Take it over the top. So, Dana, UFC 251, Saturday night, Fight Island, not actually on the beach, but surrounded by sharks.
But on an island. Tune in.
You can get the pay-per-view through ESPN+, which isn't a button that you can just order. We've been through this.
That's fine. We can figure it out.
We'll figure it out. But it's going to be awesome.
Jorge Masvidal, I'm so excited for that one. Do you expect, what do you expect out of him taking this fight so late? Have you been able to talk to him? Is he ready to go? The guy's been fighting his whole life.
He's in shape. He's ready to go.
I think it's going to be a great fight. I think Kamaru Usman is one of the, you know, Usman, if he wins this fight on Saturday night, he ties George St.
Pierre's record, who many believe is the greatest welterweight ever. He'll tie his record for wins in the welterweight division.
So it's a big fight for Usman and obviously to keep the belt and his legacy and career. And then Jorge Masvidal, this is the fight that the people wanted to see.
People wanted to see this fight. This guy's become a huge superstar over the last couple of years with the things he's pulled off, the five or seven second knockout against Ben Askren, the knockout of Till.
He's knocked out his last five opponents. So this is the fight people want to see, and it's a good one.
Okay. I'm excited.
I'm excited. We'll be pumped.
Yeah.

And thank you again for keeping sports alive. And, uh,

I know even though I told you it was a joke,

you're definitely going to go on Twitter right now and double check to make

sure Revelle didn't tweet that.

No, nothing surprises me with Revelle.

All right. Well, thank you so much, Dana.
Appreciate your time always.

And, uh, have fun fight Island UFC two 51 Saturday night. Excited.
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I love my Indochino suit is my go-to for any formal occasion wedding season is going to be coming up before you guys know it when weddings come back you're going to want to be wearing an awesome suit that'll turn heads no better way to do that than rocking an indochino and now for something completely different okay we now welcome on a very special guest. is an emmy nominated actor you know him very well uh he has he is in snow piercer which is season finale sunday night tnt nine eastern eight central check it out uh catch up if you haven't it's great show so check it out it is mike o'malley uh mike it's great to have you on i want to start with giving you an option do you want to do the gut stuff now or later dude guys it's great to talk to you uh you know it's it's really you know we've uh we earlier.
I'm a fan of you guys' show. You guys are really funny guys.
I'm happy to talk about whatever you want to talk about. Okay.
So you can ask whatever question. I'm not, you know, I'm proud of all my work, including Guts.
Well, we are children of the 90s. PFT and I are both 35.
So when Guts came out, it was pretty much a dream show for children of the 90s who watched Nickelodeon. So let's start there because I actually have a million questions about that.
Right. First question is, was the aggro crag as daunting and cool as I think it is yes it was at the uh it was giant it was really really big and it was uh in at that time it was the biggest sound stage that was on the east coast it was down in orlando florida where we shot at universal studios and so we're in the you know the biggest uh you know sound stage that was on the East Coast.
It was very, very tall, very wide. I think for what maybe you could tell on television watching it, it was when the quote unquote nuclear flying crystals were flying around there and the smoke, it was, it was, it's very hard to see.
And, you know, for the kids, they had those goggles on, They're being you know, think about yourself at 12, 13 years old. There's people telling, OK, you got to do this and you got to go up there and you got to go there.
It's there's a lot coming in at you. And so when you you know, obviously it's it probably might look smaller than what it looked like on television.
But it wasn't small. It wasn't like you come there and go, oh, the set is really really tiny it was big and it was hard to get up switchback mountain i think it was called and uh and the actuators that you had to hit and kids would miss them all the time they were hard to find it was it it's big okay that's a good answer you wouldn't you wouldn't lie to us because i don't want my childhood ruined like if you're like you're you're being honest, right? It was done.
Dude, what do you, just ask me and I'll tell you the truth. Okay.
First off, everyone wants to know Mo and I never hooked up. Okay.
All right. That's what everybody wants to know.
All right. Yes.
I had a steady girlfriend who became my wife and she had a steady boyfriend who became her husband. We never hooked up, but she's fantastic.
You guys have great chemistry. Yeah, I'm going to pretend that you didn't say that about Mo's boyfriend at the time because I don't know if you know this, but every boy in America had a huge crush on Mo, myself included.
Was she aware of that fact that she had a simp army of 11-year-olds out there that just absolutely adored her? Yeah, I think she is aware of it because people do stop us all the time still about that. And I think for her, what you don't get on the television show that she is is that she's wickedly funny.
She's very, very, very funny. And her husband's a funny guy too.
And so that's what was fun about making the show. I think, you know, for us doing the show, I almost looked at it as, as like an acting part, like, okay, we're, you know, we're camp counselors, we're the big brother, we're the big sister.
And so, you know, back when I was doing, you know, that show where I went to University of New Hampshire, you know, I had, you know, sort of stereotypical collegiate experience and we didn't know what Nickelodeon was. So it was just like, oh, okay, you're going to go do this thing.
And, you know, you're aware that there was some slime stuff that, but it wasn't the juggernaut that it became. So we were just like, hey, this is kind of a cool thing.
And, and, uh, you know, we didn't get paid a lot of money, but, was fun making a TV show. And we'd shoot three episodes a day.
Yeah, and Mo is also a trailblazer because, you know, we've seen it, female referees in the NFL and NBA, and they're like, wow, the first, you know, female referee, like, no, actually, guts, dude. Like, she had control of that thing.
She had the whistle. She was ready to was the original yes mo was a trailblazer yes absolutely so 100 would you guys gamble on the kids that were coming on the show because if i were in your position and i saw three kids lined up at the start of the show i would absolutely get some side action on that and just be like okay this kid from israel and global guts that guy's a world beater i think there, you know, there was all the, you know, the crew of the show, they're all young people all on our, you know, early to mid twenties.
And so I think there was some of that going on, but you know, honestly, I was so focused on the work. It was like, I was doing the, the play by play and the analysis.
And then we'd go right into the replays and I was trying to make it so that every show was a little bit different so it was I was so hyper focused uh when I was making the show that I was even okay what are we doing what's this kid's name and and and I think one of the things that's interesting about about being in that position like you know you guys know because you're irreverent and you you know you crack jokes and you know grown-ups uh you know can kind of if you if that was a show for adult guys you could kind of you know crack jokes at their expense and they'd laugh at themselves you have to be really really careful when you're working with especially you know 12 13 year old kids that you don't say anything that is going to uh you know upset them because you know you'll go on tv they'll go back and they're you know the kids their friends are making fun of them because they lost on guts or whatever you know so i was just always had kind of this hyper awareness of what the experience was for the kids so i wasn't even thinking about that i know okay so last guts question i had uh do you

remember any of like the greatest competitors yes jonna the warrior okay was unbelievable like she was unbelievable and she actually came we did a a guts nickelodeon guts all-star special that Lawrence Taylor ended up hosting

that we actually sold uh back then a vcr a videotape uh of that episode and i think you know john john of the warrior she was unbelievable there's also another kid um what was it robbie the animal okay he was pretty amazing, but. I have a name.
I have one guy who, weirdly enough, I sort of stalked because he had the perfect game, and I always thought he was incredible, and like, this guy has to be like a pro athlete. It turns out he wasn't, but we interviewed him.
I interviewed him on a podcast I used to be on. Basically stalked him down.
Do you remember the name Brian Beer?

You know, I don't remember Brian.

I mean, it was just like.

He had a perfect score.

He had a perfect score.

He beat everyone.

27 years ago, big cat.

What can I tell you?

27 years ago.

Yeah, I mean, it was a weird moment for me.

I kind of stalked, you know, like, well, he wasn't 13 anymore,

but I stalked him after the fact.

The name Brian Beer should be tough to forget. I remember watching it then i was like oh my god this guy like how is he not you know the greatest baseball player of all time now and uh yeah it was great he actually still has the crag when we interviewed him he showed it to us um did he did he play college did he play college sport no He peaked at guts, but that's okay.

That's okay, too, because he's got the crag,

and I would pay anything to have the crag. I would much rather peak as a 12-year-old on national television

in front of Mo, and maybe she'd take me on a date afterwards,

than I would peak in high school where nobody remembers it.

Yeah, so wait.

Let me just ask that again and just say you remember him.

So do you remember a guy named Brian Beer?

Yeah, I remember him.

He was amazing. I thought he was going all pro uh-huh perfect score perfect perfect answer mike yeah the piece of the aggro crag that was like a childhood goal of mine to to get a piece of that it wasn't actually a piece of the crag though right like the aggro crag didn't get smaller over the course of the series i'll actually show you, hell yes.
Do you have the aggro crag in your backyard?

Yeah.

Oh, he's got it right there.

That's like a prime spot.

I mean, you're in your home right now.

That looks like the sitting room that everyone comes,

you know, your guests come over.

And it's like, boom, there's the aggro crag.

I want to smoke that thing.

It's either my fantasy football trophy or, you know,

I didn't win an Emmy, so that's what I got.

I got a piece of the aggro crag. That's way better.
Way you know how many people have emmys i mean thousands who the fuck cares they give them to everyone less people have that but why don't we figure out the charity of your guys choice because i know you're big-hearted people uh-huh why don't we auction that off oh wow that's a lot of pressure but okay yes we're at the children's hospital yeah we'll do a children's hospital yeah we'll find a children's hospital we could absolutely auction that off for a lot of money all right so i'm telling the pardon my take uh fans right now okay the awls guys we got the piece of the agro crag let's find somebody who works at some big tech company or some venture capitalist who has a ton of dough and they can have my piece of the crag, but it has to go to, it has to go, like you said, the children's hospital or somebody. The funniest part about all this is like, I'm probably going to win because I'm going to, I'm going to bid the most money.
I don't care. We should just tell Elon Musk that it's actually fuel.
And so if you get this fuel then that'll get you to mars you guys are gonna look up and be like who ended up winning and it's some random llc that i created yesterday i like that you create an llc to like relieve your tax burden on this but it's just to buy a piece of the crag yeah but it's also helping people right yeah where did all that money uh where did all that money that uh Prez was going to give the crag. Just to buy the crag.
Totally worth it. But it's also helping people, right? Where did all that money that Prez was going to give to the NFL now that he can't sit with that project? Yes.
That's true. We could get that.
Yes. Right? That's actually an interesting transition because you are a big Boston sports fan.
You actually had a sports blog back in 2007. So you were like, you were the other sports guy at the

time in an alternate world. You could be my boss, Dave, or Bill Simmons.
Did you did you think about like sticking with blog life after that? No, well, you know, what happened on that was Jean Louisa Kelly, who was on Yes Dear, a sitcom that I did on CBS for many years. She's married to Jimmy Pataro,

who's now the president of ESPN.

And back in the day,

he was at Yahoo Sports.

And he asked me,

because I think I was,

it was right after,

because yeah,

it was 2007 that I did that.

It was after Yester got canceled. And he said,

hey, I'm going to get my friend.

I think it was the guy, you know, who's the guy who plays turtle on entourage. He was going to write about the Yankees.
Yeah, exactly. And I was going to write about, I was going to write about the Red Sox.
So that was, what was amazing to me is how hard it is to do that well and to turn out really good writing. I, I, I jumped off that ship very quickly because I realized how hard it is to write very good, funny, creative, smart blogs in a, you know, immediate amount of time where you're competing against other people who are writing about the same thing.
It's just very, very hard to do. And so that was, that was it.
So you also had, um, looking back at your your career we're kind of progressing here uh the character of rick the commercials though rick on espn do you uh you're you're obviously an avid sports fan do you ever chuckle at the fact that you were basically foreshadowing darren revel's life because i watched back some of these commercials and you had like you you had the Tiger Woods dry cleaning from Augusta Bill you had the contact lens that Greg Maddox left at an airport and like you were obviously doing it in jest and then Darren Revell has done that for real where he'll tweet out like I have this person's like freshman student ID card and then accidentally tweet out their social security right yeah you Yeah. You know, I think that, you know, one of the things that was interesting about that is that the commercials were, you know, written and created by this guy, Steve O'Brien, who's from Boston and a guy that I went to college with, Court Crandall.
And Court Crandall then went on to write, you know, Old School, the movie. And so this is back in 98.
And they told me about this character. This is before I had done my first sitcom.
And they told me that Christopher Guest was directing these spots. And so that was the cool thing about it was that everyone, you know, you guys love sports, too.
So you get it. Oftentimes on, you know, television or in, you know, comic movies, they paint, you know, they had, it'd be a face painter and it was always a guy yelling.
And I just always thought that now sports is so much more intense and so much more emotional and so much more serious. And I just wanted to, you know, make that character a guy.
I was like, no, these things are really serious. And look, you, you know, you have heroes, everyone has heroes.
Anytime they get to connect with those people, even when you're, you know, you're a little kid and you know, we grow up, we play these sports, we play these games. We know how difficult it is.
You know, sometimes, you know, you know, sports fans get made fun of why do you play so much importance in that? And I wanted to try to do a character who was like, this really just means a lot to me. And I'm finding joy in whatever way I find it.
And it was, it was a trip. It was, you know, and that character, I've been doing it now for 20 years.
So that it was, it was just fun. They, they just see it had very long spots.
It's also the beauty of that character, and I think you can find a lot actually in our show,

is that sports have become more analytical.

Fans have become a lot smarter.

But I think it's okay to just be like, yeah, I have an inner meatball in me.

And yeah, I care way too much about this stuff.

Sue me.

Like, what do you want me to do?

Yeah, when my team loses, I'm bummed out for a week.

That's just what I am as a person.

And that's the Rick.

And that's just what i am as a person and that's the wreck and that really was me uh when i was you know when i was an adult i mean when the red socks lost in 2003 i woke up and i was just like i cannot even believe what i just went through and and you know my wife who's from syracuse new mean, she knew that I was a big Red Sox fan and, and you know, she was like, wow, this is really serious. I like, yeah, it's, it's really serious, but I don't know.
I think that it's, it's like, you know, people you'd say to your wife or you say to your girlfriend, well, you're, you know, you're crying at, you know, terms of endearment or beaches or the notebook. It's not, this is a fake story.
It's like, I'm, I'm, I'm watching a person who just made a massive error or gave up the game winning hit and he's devastated. And I care about him because I've been watching him every day, play this game and talking about it.
It's just, you know, I, I, anyone who you have to explain why you care sports about obviously just doesn't understand humanity yeah yes the way that sports make us feel is the way that you make people feel on parenthood just like have it have a good cry afterwards and you don't get over it for a couple days right well exactly and how i've on parenthood they made me wear like a double fat suit like i had to like wear three fat suits for the character and i literally was saying to them on that show i said you guys are gonna have to put out like a public service like you're gonna have to put out a pr a press release to say like i'm not that heavy i'm not that sick because people are gonna watch're going to be like, oh my God, what happened to this guy? He's, this is just, he's gone off the bend. You should have worn the fat suit out to like the supermarket where you knew that there were going to be some paparazzi one point and just like get some pictures on TMZ.
Have Harvey just talking about how much weight you've put on. Yeah, like what happened to O'Malley? He just said, it's just like, it's is just like forget it man i'm like i'm gonna break through 230 i'm going straight to 290 it don't matter so we do a thing on our show uh where we do spin zones where we kind of just reverse you know the logic or a bad situation i'm gonna spin zone something for you uh the mike o'malley show flop yes two episodes that's one episode more than our television show that got canceled after one episode so you were twice as successful in that how though did you deal with that kind of setback because it's i mean you've you've bounced back obviously you've had a long long career but in that moment did it fuck, what do I do now? I just had a show with my name on it and it didn't work.
Yeah, that was, that was a very, very difficult situation for me because I didn't have a movie or a theater career to go back to. I had been trying to become, you know, you know, Tom Hanks or, you know, Bill Murray or, you know, Michael Keaton.
These are the guys that I admired coming up. And up and you know I think one of the things that happens when you're young and you're an actor and you're going you know you're you're having you know little parts here little parts there you know they're they're trying to develop the next thing and you get a shot and for me I don't think I had a really clear awareness of how competitive it is in the sense that your show was going on at that time.
There was only five, six networks. Your show is going on at 930 on on Tuesday night.
And the other networks, if you succeed, their their shows fail. And so it's just so, so, so hyper competitive.
And so the only people rooting for you to succeed are the people at your network and your friends and your family. And, um, and so afterwards, I think that I was, but it's not like, like I should have been paying attention.
You just don't think that anything's going to happen to you. You know, you read, you know, if, if you do it, uh, if you're in a movie or you wake up on a Friday and you read the New York times and you read 10 movie reviews and three or four of them are just absolutely devastating to people.
If you don't know anyone in that or you're just like, hey, did you see that terrible review that somebody got? It's like it's just sport to everyone else. Right.
But but to you, you think, how am I ever going to come back from this? Because, you know, I'm just a guy who, you know, I was born in Boston. I grew up in New Hampshire and I got a show.
And, but I had great friends and that's one of the most important things I think. And I try to tell my kids in life, I had tremendous friends.
I had tremendous friends in my hometown. I had tremendous friends that I went to college with the university of New Hampshire.
And, and I had, I had great friends when I was living in New York in my twenties. And, and when you really know who your friends are, they're able to pick you up and kind of atomize a little bit of that grief.
When you go through something like that, it was hard. It was hard because it's very public and your name is on it.
Right. And so that's the people like the Michael Malley show sucked.
It's like Michael Malley sucks. And thank God the Internet didn't exist because, you know, people and people still talk about it.
But you I think that you get very seasoned very quickly. You believe that you have something, you know, you guys have your show.
You believe that you're funny. There's a lot of other people who believe that, too.
And, you know, maybe I, the, you know, the kind of show that some people wanted to, but I, but I, I knew that I had something to offer. I knew that I was talented enough to, to work in this business.
And, you know, the people who were on that show with me, Will Arnett, Kate Walsh, Missy Yeager, Mark Rosenthal, my sister, Carrie, they're all, you know, it was directed by Jamie Widows, who's, you know, Hoover from Animal House. They were all good people.
And I think, just to put a cap on this is that everyone who works in show business has failures. And so inside of the business, when you're working inside of it, there's other people like, yeah, you know what, that one, that one didn't work.
Uh, but you know, we're behind you. We believe in you where, you know, I had great agents, uh, it's CAA who were very, very supportive of me.
They were really great. Um, you know, you, you hear bad things about agents all the time.
They were, they were like, nah, man, this is like, you got a raw deal. It's, it's okay.
We're going to, we're going to get, get through this. And, and that was very fortifying for me because it was tough.
I like that. I mean, here's the other spin zone is it makes you insanely more interesting and likable because no one wants to talk to someone who's had success every step of the way.
This is the relatable part. Like when we failed, everyone saw it and was like, hey, you're out there and it didn't work.
And it's kind of like, once you, once you bounce back, you have a story to tell. Right.
Right. And I think that you also have an expectation, you know, you, you realize now, I think that, you know, for myself, I just try to, to, you know, be about the work, you know, people talk about like, well, you know, hard work pays off and it does, but you can't always be thinking about how it's going to pay off.
You really have to be present. You really have to be, you know, in control.
I just, I want to pass this along because I know you've got a lot of listeners who, you know, are interested in a lot of different things, but I have been reading a lot of Marcus Aurelius, the Stoics, And there's this book by Donald Robertson about the Stoics. And basically, you know, the Stoics and thinking about what is it that you can control? You know, you can control your emotional reaction to things.
And it's something that even 53 years old, you know, I wish I had been steeped in this stuff when I was younger to not to say that an emotion can't come up and it can't make you feel one way or the other, but to realize it's like, even like in this pandemic, for instance, it's like, what can I control? I can't control when I'm going back to work. I can't control when they're going to find the vaccine.
What can I do as a dad right now? I can try to, you know, wake up, be a good dad, be really locked into what my kids are you know feeling or experiencing emotionally and and be there for them and try to enjoy this period of time but i i really recommend because it's you know in a way ecumenical um the if that's the right word it's it's you know the stoics uh marcus aurelius in particular just read it man it, man. It's cool stuff and it's not too deep.
I think you're the first person to reference Roman philosophy on this podcast. Probably not the last.
You actually could probably work at HBO Sports as a vice president if you've got that depth of knowledge to be just pulling that out of your bag. Yes.
That's very impressive. That's a good point, though.
I don't know. Listen, man, I follow that story.
I don't know. It is a good point, though, and I like what you said about, you know, being able to bounce back and, like Big Cat said, having a story to tell after things.
Like if you were to tie into sports when the Red Sox lost in 2003, it made winning in 2004 that much better of a feeling, right? If you've experienced that type of heartbreak from Aaron fucking Boone then it's pretty awesome when Curt Schilling paints some red you know paint on the socks comes back to a 03 deficit and then you guys win your first World Series in what like 115 years or whatever it is that's that like the bounce back is a very very sweet part of life because it does feel that much better yeah and if and it feels like you've you know you feels like you've earned that i mean look uh one of the i had an experience during the 2004 season and and uh where i'd gotten to know some of the guys through different charity events that i had hosted and i got to go through the dugout at the end of a game. And those guys were crazy, right? And I got to know Johnny Damon a little bit.
And we were sitting in the seats. And at the game, I think they won.
It was a walk-off. And they won the game.
And I had a beer. And Johnny comes over and gets the beer right outside the dugout.
He starts drinking the beer as I'm walking out. He says out.
He says, come on in, come through the dugout, you know, come down through. And I'm like, you know, I grew up Fred Lynn, Carl Yastrzemski, Jim Rice.
I mean, like I wanted to be a baseball player. And so here I am walking through the dugout into the clubhouse in the middle of a pennant race in August of, you know, 2004.
And this was what was interesting to me and why I tell this story. There were no cameras.
There were no, you know, there were no people in there other than the guys on the team. And they were going nuts.
They were cheering for each other. You know, it was like you're in a high school, you know, game.
And it was, this this is your team and these are your guys. And to think that these guys were professional athletes and they cared that much and were so pumped up for each other and celebrating one another.
I don't know. It kind of made like, it made that feeling that you're, you're cheering for sports feel good because I think all of us, you know, all of us are constantly, you know, seeking fellowship and friendships with people and shared experiences and joy.
And it was kind of cool to get a glimpse into that, you know, that here are these guys who are paid to do this, but this is the feeling that it generates for them, even though it is their job. That is kind of affirming to be a fan and to see that firsthand.
Because a lot of times I think players on whatever team, they might not get along real well. They're in it because they're making a lot of money and they're doing really well for themselves and their career.
But it is cool to see a team that kind of appreciates that the same way that you look at it and you feel that same feeling, that amount of investment in it. It makes you feel like maybe I'm not wasting my time, you know, spending thousands of dollars on season tickets, buying all the merchandise, watching every game and investing myself emotionally in something that maybe they're not as emotionally invested in.
Right. And, and, you know, it's like, especially Trott, like I just remember Trott Nixon, he was just like the kind of you wish, like, was on your team and cheering you on because you saw that.
You know, for me, you know, sometimes I don't necessarily want to read about the intrigue if a team isn't getting along. You know, there's a thing about, you know, actors, and if you're in a play in particular, and people come back and they see the show and they've seen you be in the show, but you had a better performance than, you know, you were more locked in.
You felt you were a little bit locked in the night before people come backstage and they say, wow, that was a great show because they took they went on the journey of the story. And then you're like, well, you should have been here last night.
You know, it's like nobody, nobody wants to hear that. Right.
You go see your favorite band, and they're like, ah, they were better.

Or Bono's like, ah, I was more locked in yesterday. It doesn't matter.
I'm having my experience. I'm seeing them.
I'm enjoying them. That's the job of the professional athlete.
And sometimes I don't read so much about the intrigue behind the scenes because I want to feel like they get along. I mean, you read about the 86 Red Sox, 25 guys, 25 Cavs, a famous story.
Well, when I was in college watching that team, you know, I didn't enjoy it less. I didn't know that about them.
But now I kind of look back on it. I was like, I really rooted for this team where the guys didn't like each other.
Yeah. Yeah.
Kevin Millar didn't see you naked in the locker room after that, did no he didn't nobody no nobody wants he has an encyclopedia of penises that he's seen that he will just straight up tell you everyone tell yeah if kevin wants to see your penis he's told someone about it i just had a beer i i didn't disrobe or shower there i think that would have been a little bit odd the guy from y Yes Dears. So so across from sports to acting, is there a zone? Do you get in a zone when you're acting when you're like, holy shit, I'm locked in.
I'm this is like I'm nailing this. Well, I think in terms of comedy, you know, you're definitely can get into a zone because it's all about it's it's it's the it's the pace.
It's the it's the metronome. It's there.
It's like, if you really feel like you're playing the scene perfectly and nailing, you know, it's all about delivery and timing with comedy. So you feel like you're in a zone there.
I think that in terms of, you know, performing in a drama, it's like, when you really know your language, I was on justified. I'll tell you an interesting story about justified.
I I did like six episodes on Justified. I played this guy, Nicky Augustine, who was a mafia hitman.
And after I'd finished Yes Dear, I'd really wanted to start doing more dramatic roles. And I didn't, I wanted to kind of move away from comedy.
And I went to the set of Justified and I was really stoked it was a cool show. And I had my scenes all prepared because I, you know, when you, especially when you're a guest actor, you don't get a lot of takes, you're going to be there.
You really want to do good work. And I was in the scene with Jerry Burns, um, and, and, uh, Steven Tobolowsky, who's both of these guys, character actors been along around a long time.
And when I get there, they said, hey, we're throwing these pages out. We got a whole new idea for a scene and we're going to go upstairs and write them.
And the writer says to me, he's like, okay, so here's my idea for the scene. You and Tobolowsky, you went to grade school together.
Now, Google Stephen Toboluski. He's 25 years older than me.
So the first thing when I hear that is like, how bad do I look? I mean, I must look terrible. Like I must like I got like I got to like get a skin peel or chemical peel.
I need to get the Jerry Jones, you know, like eyes fixed. Like I got to do something because I look terrible.
So I don't hear another word they say. And they go up and they write the scene.
They come back down. Me and Tobolowsky, 40 year difference.
Apparently we went to grade school together and we do the scene and we run the scene. We run the scene.
We run the scene. And my adrenaline was pumped so high.
And I wanted to do such a good job that you just kick into a second gear and you're really, really hyper focused. And the scene, I'll send it to you guys.
I'll send you my reel if you want to look at it. I got to shoot Stephen Tobolowsky in the head and it was awesome.
That's a good ending. That is very good.
That's a great ending. I have a very important question for you and our Hank, might want to chime in because we've had this discussion.
He's a diehard Tom Brady fan. Will you be buying a Bucs jersey? And how much will you be rooting for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers this upcoming season? I am in that window right now where I think I have to get 10 years older before I buy another adult man's jersey.
I think that wearing a jersey when you're younger than the player or when you're far maybe 25 to 30 years older than a player is acceptable. But at 53 years old, I really cannot be buying a jersey.
Yeah, what about rooting? Yeah, let's talk about rooting because Hank is firmly in the Bucs or his second team now very clearly, and he would love for Tom Brady to win a Super Bowl in Tampa Bay. If the Patriots aren't there.
If the Patriots aren't there. I am a big Tom Brady fan.
I will be rooting for his success. Rob Gronkowski, I am running a new show about professional wrestling for the Stars Network that we're going into production at the end of the month.
We tried to get Rob Gronkowski in the show. We had a bunch of meetings with him, and I thought he also has brought the O'Malley family great joy so I'm rooting for both of those guys but but you know he he legitimately was going to be acting and not and not doing football anymore but I I think that I'm interested in because of those guys getting back together certainly Tom I think he's an inspiration to People, anybody over the age of 40, he's an inspiration to.
But I will not root for him if they were playing the Patriots, but I will root for him and I will follow what they do. I also think he's a great guy.
Did it take the sting out of losing Brady and having Gronk come back to get Cam Newton last week? Was that kind of like a moment where you're like, okay, we can do this again. It's not over.
I think so. You know, for me, you know, my son was so stoked when he found out that Cam Newton was going to be, you know, we root for the laundry, right? So we're excited.
I was actually intrigued with the idea that we're going to be going with the brand new quarterback and seeing, you know, what they can do. And I think that people are getting excited about it, but we know enough about the Patriots that until the roster is there in the first game and until they, you know, he's playing with them for a while.
I mean, it's, you know, uh, coach Belichick has proven it's like, he's the boss and you know, how is it going to work out? I don't know. So I'm excited.

I think he's a tremendous athlete.

I think he's, you know, Cam Newton's funny.

I love his style.

I think he's going to be great for the Patriots, you know,

just that team changing it up from what it has been.

But we all know if he doesn't fit the program, it ain't going to, you know,

it ain't going to happen. Well, you also have, I mean, with Belichick being the best coach of all time,

he could just put anyone at quarterback and everyone would be like,

Thank you. you know it ain't gonna happen well you you also have i mean with belichick being the best coach of all time he could just put anyone at quarterback and everyone would be like he probably sees something no one else does like this guy like and he probably could suck but it's like hey jared stidham like but why did everyone pass on him yes do you think big cat do you think that you could play quarterback and complete a pass in the n NFL for a Coach Belichick coached team? How many chances do I get? Just one pass in a game? Shovel pass.
Yeah, shovel pass. Hey, guys, I'm talking on the internet here.
I'm doing an interview. I think I'd give you actually all four downs we're not even going to punt on four and you probably not one pack probably not i think you could do a shovel my pants either that or like one of those tosses that barely goes no what what what you what like we always forget as sports fans is it's not even the like throwing strength or anything it's that every little piece moves faster for athletes.
So just like getting the snap and going back in a drop, or if even if I'm in shotgun and like, and like getting ready and like dropping, you know, doing a three step drop will take so much longer and I'll be just flattened by everyone. I think that I would probably be terrified just standing back there.
Like, I'm terrified when I walk down Bronson Canyon hiking and there's too much sand there because I'm going to slip and blow out my knee. So I don't know.
I don't know, man. I think out of the shotgun, I think I could complete a pass if it was maybe to Edelman and he takes two steps steps it's a wide receiver screen yeah yeah or you could sit up and have it be like a jet sweep type thing where it's just about the time and you get the ball and you just pop it in front of you yeah that's a pass takes it away yeah yeah that is yes okay so yes we could do it yes a pass of air yards more than like five yards down the line of scrimmage? Absolutely not.
No chance. When's the last time you ever watched Heaven Can Wait, the Warren Beatty movie? Last night.
Yeah, I was finishing it last night. I actually watched a little bit this morning.
I like to watch it. I refresh myself every couple weeks.
Okay, all right, guys. This is good, man.
Guys, listen, man. I love you guys.
I love that. By the way, if we're shooting a show, you don't even need an extra take.
We've got two cameras working on that. You guys delivered that perfectly.
We don't even need to cut it. It's perfect.
Warren Beatty. Beautiful.
Yeah, legend. Is that the guy with the big cock? That's the guy.
That's Milton Berle. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Milton Berle's got – Sorry, are your kids listening? Sorry, my bad. Unconfirmed penis size.
We'll ask Kevin Millar. I'm getting a little like, yeah, I should have probably brought headphones for this interview.
No, I didn't. I didn't know there was only one.
That's true. All right, I have one last question.
I lied to you. I do have another guts question.
Check out Snowpiercer TNT Sunday night, season finale, 9 Eastern, 8 Central. We're also going to figure out, we are going to figure out this aggro crack.
We're going to donate it. 100%.
It's going to be awesome. We'll make a big thing of it.
I think you know what we'll do? We'll do it. I would assume you every now and then get into New York City, right? Yes.
Okay, So what we're going to do is We're going to not only do an auction

But part of the auction will be

You come and you hang out in the studio

And you'll come by and we'll have you back on the show

And you can hang out and we'll pass off the aggro crag

So we'll do a whole thing

It's going to be great

I'll put on a dress and speak in an Australian accent

I'll pretend to be Mo

You're going to just pass it to me

Because I'm going to win this auction

But yeah we'll make it a whole event

I'm going to win this auction. But, yeah, we'll make it a whole event.
So my last question, I did have one more guts question. When the lights went off and everyone went home, did you sometimes put on a helmet and do all the competitions and test out all the pool and the race course and everything? tell me you did yes we did we we would uh crack some beers and we'd uh we'd especially get on those uh you know bikes and we'd ride those around and uh we we never had a keg but we had quite a few beers uh in the extreme arena and um there are pictures of us jumping into the pool.
Yes. That sounds awesome.
That sounds like just a dreamland. Yes, that's perfect.
I'm happy you answered it that way. Yeah, I mean, this has been a very enlightening interview for me.
I had another question about something later on in your career, but I want to end this just talking about Guts. Yeah.
Because I fucking love that show. Guts is awesome.
Thank you so much for making my after schools better when I was a child. And just so you know, I would immediately turn it off when Legends of the Hidden Temple came on.
Oh, I like Legends of the Temple too. I was a Guts man through and through.
Everyone knew it. You guys should talk.
Listen, man. Such a letdown when Olmec came out.
I'll put you in touch with Mark Summers and Kirk Fogg, okay? Those guys are good guys too. You should talk to them.
Yes. It's nice to meet you.
you i hope i see you in person i hope we raise a lot of money i i really i i uh you know i've been waiting to part with that yeah uh because i know people want it but i think we can actually uh get rid of it uh with with a lot of good going to somebody else yeah is this your wife saying like hey can we please get this glowing piece of rock out of the Like, like Michael Scott's St. Paulie girl signed in the living room.
No, listen, my wife's great. Okay.
She's got maximum hang factor. She's awesome.
So she knows, she knows when she married me, you know, I didn't get married till I was in my early thirties. So she knew what she, she knew what she was getting into.
There you go. I do have one last, last question.
Yes. Did you audition for any roles in the league? Because I feel like that show was pretty much scripted to have you as either one of the main characters or like the wacky neighbor that comes over.
No, I did not audition for that. You know, a lot of the different sort of groups of comedy, those guys that are doing that show, they have they're, they're writing roles for themselves and they're writing roles for their pals.
So a lot of the, a lot of times like a show like that sort of comes pre-packaged. So I think when I was, I think when that was going on, I was doing I was writing on shameless at that point.
And I was trying to get my, my next, my own show going. So I wasn't really acting as much.
I was trying to transition more into a writer. Awesome.
Well, Mike, this has been awesome. We appreciate it.
We'll link up, and we will definitely do this aggro crag, and we'll have you in studio, and it'll be awesome. Hey, guys.
It's great talking to you, man. Take care.
Good to meet you, man. The rest of the summer.
Thanks so much. the summer thanks so much you too see you okay let's uh finish up with a couple segments by the way i love the beat reporters the baseball beat reporters just reporting on all these like intra-squad uh practices they're like good news the cubs are pitching great bad news the cubs are getting no hit right it can't be it can't be both good.
There's just absolutely no way they can be a double win. I like that they were saying, like, if you think that Max Scherzer was fun to watch with people in the stands, he is way more better to watch, way better to watch with nobody in the stands because you can hear him just cussing out every single batter, even in an inter-squad scrimmage.
Grunting and everything. Okay, let's do – we're going to do Embrace Debate, and then we have Documentary Review.
First two episodes of Home Game, which is on Netflix, about weird sports. So, Embrace Debate.
PFT, you have this Embrace Debate. Yes.
I actually have a bonus one, too. Okay, mine is LeBron James versus Mike Tyson in a boxing match.
Okay. So this started out going around yesterday as a meme.
Skip Bayless addressed it on, what's his show called? Skip and Shannon, whatever his show. Undisputed? You the man, great show, love the show on FS1, Skip.
Skip. But they actually addressed it and debated it.
And Shannon. In a boxing match, LeBron James versus Mike Tyson in his prime? Is that what they were saying? I mean, if it's in his prime, that's the dumbest argument of all time.
It's obviously LeBron James. Mike Tyson would fucking crush LeBron James.
I don't care how tall LeBron is, hand speed, just like everything. Everything about Mike Tyson.
LeBron James in his prime versus Mike Tyson now might be a conversation. Might be.
Might be. Might be something.
Not even though. Not even.
I would still say Mike Tyson. LeBron can't get hit.
He got hit, he would cry. He would literally flop out of the ring.
He would flop out of the ring. Yes, that's right.
He would go down. Mike Tyson could take a punch.
He gets inside. LeBron's never been punched in his life.
Well, so I was talking about that with Bubba before the show started. When was the last time you think LeBron James got into a fight? Maybe in high school? He's probably gotten some elbows.
He's probably gotten like KG and the big three probably roughed him up a little bit. LeBron once jumped over someone in a nutcracker drill in high school football.
I read that once. Oh, okay.
That's pretty close to a fight. Thanks, Billy.
He avoided contact. I wanted to fight him when he made me look at his dick on repeat when I was going back on DVR trying to find it before the game started that one time.
He's watched. I mean, he clearly knows what doing a bit is like.
So maybe he knows what being in a fight is like. That's a good point.
Yeah, this is crazy. I love whenever we do the boxers like in their prime because especially heavyweights, like they just kill everyone.
Heavyweights would kill everyone. Yeah.
It's like anything. I still can take a punch from Floyd Mayweather.
Boxing training. I realize I watch him do that.
LeBron's never been trained to box. Yeah.
I think I could beat up, if there's like a 90-year-old former professional boxer. 50% of the.
I could beat up Floyd Mayweather's dad in 25 years. Remember how fast his hands were? Holy shit.
Very scary. All right.
The other embrace debate I had, I want you guys to decide which side of the argument you are on for this i'm gonna give you two quotes tell me who you agree with more nobody has ever played golf like tiger woods nobody's ever handled pressure like tiger woods nobody's ever won by a wider margin than tiger woods that's quote one quote two is i would argue that tiger's got the least out of his talent of any player maybe in history maybe in history who would you side with i would side with the second person because they're clearly insane and i don't want to get on their bad side well it was actually a trick question because it's the same person and it's our friend brand list chambliss. Okay, so he is an insane person.
He's an insane person. Blinley

Chambrosian. I guess this is his

big-time take that he's

been throwing out there that

no one has left more on the table

and gotten the least out of his talent than

Tiger Woods. He only got 19 majors.

Yeah, yeah. He has 14

majors, whatever it is, making it

seem like majors are the easiest thing in the world to win. How many does he have? I think it's 15.
I think 14, maybe. Yeah, 14.
I would say Tiger Woods got the most out of his ability, like being able to bounce back from having all those affairs. That's tough.
And also just being raised like a cyborg. Yeah.
That also probably wasn't the easiest thing.

Yeah.

He's the best golfer who's also a Navy SEAL of all time.

That's a fact.

By the way, I didn't like Golf Digest making fun of our friend Brooks Koepka.

He's going through a loss.

He lost Brooks of the year, Blake of the year.

And they tweeted him just like head down.

I guess he shot poorly today.

You know what?

Brooks is such a good friend, I didn't even look up his score.

It's in the pluses.

Thank you. and they tweeted him just like head down.
I guess he shot poorly today. You know what? Brooks is such a good friend, I didn't even look up his score.
It's in the pluses. That's fine.
Well, I know that, but how bad? It's not a major. It's not even the Travelers.
It's a third. Who cares? I didn't even look it up.
He doesn't show up unless there's a big-ass trophy for you at the end of it. Plus two? Oh, plus two? Get the fuck out of here.
It was plus five if someone tweeted it, Golf Digest haters. Bounce back.
Dude, he's probably just chilling out. Well, shout out to Brooks, who also had a great tweet yesterday.
And it was just the Kenny Powers on steroids gif. Yep.
Wonder who that could have been directed at. I like it.
Team Brooks all the way. Bryson DeChimpanzee.
Sometimes we'll have bad rounds. It's golf, dude.
It's golf. It's a Thursday golf.
Golf Digest should know that. Nobody cares about Thursday golf.
You won championships on Sunday last time I checked. All right, let's finish up.
We got our documentary review. We watched the first two episodes of Home Game.
Oh, I should actually address this real quick before we get to that. Following up on our Embrace debate from Wednesday's show, there have been three separate NFL coaches that said that they would hire me as a kicker on game day.
I saw those tweets. It was a nice Mike Wilbon name drop that I have three NFL coaches in my phone.
I didn't drop any names. I also deleted Sean McVay's number from my phone because now he's a green bubble.
I don't have time for that. Got it.
He's definitely changed his number. I've been re-watching the office and yep do you yeah do you guys remember the scene when uh when i think it's it's jim and pam's uh first kid is christened and michael scott shows up and he's like like what an honor for me the godfather and pam's like i need you to say that you're not the godfather and he's like joking around he's like no no like of course i'm not he's like no i need you to say the words i'm not the godfather i need you to say the words that you're not an nfl caliber kicker you could make a team yes somehow yes okay that's all i'm going to need you to say the words oh i'm definitely i'm definitely not an nfl caliber i know that that's never been i still think you're i still think you're a hundred you're oh you're in the top 100 000 kickers in in the country world.
But replaying that conversation, you did start with 50-50 chance to make a team. Listen, I'm not saying I'm an NFL caliber kicker unless I make an NFL team, at which point I am an NFL caliber kicker.
Yes, then you would. Then you would absolutely.
I need to get you invested in this somehow, Big Cat, because this movement can be a lot stronger if you're on my side of this. Here's the if if it were uh all the joke i'd be in but it's i can tell there's 25 real there's like yeah like actual like i do think i'm an nfl caliber no i'm not i'm definitely not i'm uh here so i actually did the math there might be there might be the problem no there might be more than a hundred thousand better than okay because i was thinking okay who am i better at in terms of people that kick for a living pretty much any college kicker that's graduated in the last 15 to 20 years is better than i am right now most high school kickers at decent sized college or decent sized schools are probably better than me right now i'll admit that but do they do they have a negative antibody test? Are they standing outside MetLife Stadium with their cleats in their hand ready to go? That was a big part of it.
I think my issue is I need you to either say it's a joke or if you said, I really, really think I can make an XFL team and I want to make an XFL team, XFL team on the merits of my kicking,

I would be like,

let's go,

let's do it. But I don't know which one it is.

So I can't figure it out.

And I don't want it to be like,

I,

I think I can make it.

And then when you don't be like just a bit.

So you've,

you've seen me kick at my worst when you've been holding for me.

I've seen you pick your best too.

I've watched the video.

Great video.

So,

so I'm not bad.

No,

you're not,

but I'm definitely not bad. Absolutely not good enough to make any sort of professional football team on my own merits.
I will put my hand up. But as a joke, you can make it.
Then I'm in. But as a joke, I can make it.
And if I get a chance in a game, I might make an extra point. I think you can make an extra point.
I absolutely think you can make an extra point. From then which on point, you are truly a professional and the joke was never really a joke.
Yes, then I'm in. There is zero part of my brain that thinks that I'm a professional caliber kicker.
The part I struggle with is sometimes I feel like you were like, I actually probably can make this team. Oh, with the defenders? Yeah, and I was like, I don't want you to get your like either if you if you i thought really think that i'm i will support you as a friend but i also like if you think it but you don't and we're like caught in that gray area where are we so i thought that i could make the defenders because i'm not bad and then they just kind of stash me and then maybe bring me out kind of like you know the make-a-wish kids at the end of the season yeah where they let the kids score touchdown and then if you gotta if you got to make a wish then i'm so down to be like uh yeah this is a podcast hosted by an ex you know an ex-pro at that point we become mike and mike and you're yeah the nerd and i'm the professional then it becomes i'm all in because it's like you actually were in there but yeah i'm just confused.
Zero percent in my brain that I think I'm deserving on my merits of being a professional kicker. One percent? Zero percent.
One? Semi-pro. Semi-pro.
Half a percent? Zero percent. Trust me.
You could definitely make an extra point. No doubt in my mind.
So here's the deal. I'm not professional caliber.
If I got the opportunity. Then you you are because of these very specific scenario that i've set up yes where both the punter and the kicker indisposed due to covid are me stabbing the punter on the morning before a game i think i could step in and you're standing in metlife stadium parking lot with a negative covid test that you took 20 minutes before.
Yes. Are the antibodies or the antibodies with your cleats and full uniform.
I think they probably would want you to just come full uniform. They don't want to have to go listen if I'm going to make this happen.
I can't ask them for any favors. What's right.
I have to be like ready to go in the uniform waiver sign that if you die whatever let on the record I die on the field, I'm only holding my own brain responsible for this. It's not.
There's no liability on the NFL. And I'll donate my salary to the children's hospital.
We should probably have chaps build you a locker that we can put on wheels that you can just put in the hallway. So you don't even have to go in the locker room.
No, I won't even shower with the guys. You just get everything out of the way.
When the Patriots play there, I'll even get a tattoo on my forearm that says 110%-er because that's the kind of effort that I'm going to give. Listen, I'm ready to go.
All right, we'll bring a net. We'll bring your own balls.
Okay, yes. If we do all that, we're good.
What? Don't forget the jock and girdle. Jock and girdle.
Jock and girdle. Don't forget the chock and girdle.
I always wear a jock strap. I like to share over here.

Don't forget the chock and girdle.

All right.

Yeah, then I think there's a chance that you could get signed.

I'm not delusional.

No.

Well, you are, but not for that reason.

Yes.

Yeah, not for the kicking anymore.

All right.

Let's two home game Netflix.

Okay, so we watched the first two. I guess we'll start with number one.

What the fuck is that sport called? Calcio. Historico.
This is basically Italian dudes being like, you know what we love more than anything? To beat the fuck out of each other. Let's make a sport out of it.
It's an excuse to fight. This is what happens in society where you have no middle ground sport between playing soccer and then and then there's like nothing that's like a little bit more physical than soccer if they had like a big rugby league there or an american football league there then i don't think that calcio punch in the face whatever sport that is ever exists but because they they kind of max out at soccer you've got a bunch of crazy people that are like i need a sport for me where i'm allowed to actually get into a fight with somebody i went into this being like oh this might look make rugby look bad and then i went out of it being like it makes every sport look bad because every sport is just lame compared to this sport it's violence it's just fight club with kind of a scoring element was everybody else on the same page that the red team was going to smash the white team going into?

It's like the red team was stacked with just these massive dudes.

The goalie on the white team.

Did you see him?

Yes.

He looked like fat Kenny Powers.

Yes.

I don't know what he was doing out on the court.

He should not have been there.

What a sport.

It actually reminds me.

Remember those videos?

Like,

I feel like we haven't had any in a long time,

but the,

uh,

dudes in Russia that would like meet in the woods,

like 50 dudes on each side. And they just beat the fuck out of each other for no reason whatsoever.
You just add a ball and, like I said, a little bit of scoring, and that's the sport. Those are soccer hooligan fights.
Okay. I was thinking watching this, the fans behind these teams are very passionate, and I like how it's set up where you're born into a district, and that's your for life.
You can't switch. Right.
You have to be red your whole life. You have to be white your whole life, et cetera.
When they actually play the games, the supporters that like cheer them into the stadium are very, very passionate. Do you think that there are brawls in the stands during this game? Oh yeah.
UFC fights. They're like UFC fights.
I love that. So it just turns into just not only is there a fight down on the field part of the game is just like beating the shit out of all the other people from other towns that are happening happen to be sitting next to you it's like lincoln financial field with an actual fight on the field right right um we it really does make uh all other sports just like hockey guys are gonna watch this and be like whoops we thought we were the tough sport.
It's just 100 biz nasties going at each other. Yeah.
No skills, just physical. Sick sport.
Those guys say Ryan Whitney, sick sport, sick league to everyone else. Next time there's something that happens in the NHL where some guy takes a dive, I'll be like, you'd never see that from a Calcio Tepid player.
I also was thinking that I feel like it's one of those situations where all of their players' wives and stuff are like, it's very much a type where it's like, if you're into that type of guy. Oh, yeah.
Which is kind of just if you're into Italian guys. Guidos.
It's where Guidos come from. Yeah.
Or the genesis of Guidos. If you're into alpha males, then yeah.
Yes. You would like those guys.
They all had the Macklemore haircut, too, which is very intimidating. They can have any haircut.
It doesn't matter. They all had steroid nipples.
The coning guy now. You would know that for sure.
I've never done steroids. No, I know.
Would you ever play Billy? I actually might. I don't like the kicking, though.
You're already signed up for UFC now. Yeah, I talked myself into the Ultimate Fighter.
You're in on that. I panicked and I was like, now I'm going to get my ass beat by a UFC fighter.
Perfect. Imagine being a referee in that sport.
It'd be pretty tough. Yeah, Joe West again, pussy.
What crosses the line? Yeah, yeah. All these guys.
And then the other one, the Scottish games, the Highland games. I love this shit.
Just old school, like, who can throw a tree log farther than the other guy? Just the dumbest thing. And my favorite part about these games are the evolution of it where it's like, okay, so we have 10 different events, and you're thinking like, oh, my God.
These guys are going to be like the decathlon it's uh little rock big rock little like uh like what else was it like a tree even bigger rock yeah like a rock shot put the rock a rock that's attached to a string that you have to throw around little chain big chain and just everything is just throwing heavy shit it's just guys being dudes in a backyard that's really what the is. It started out because two guys in kilts were hanging out next to each other, the biggest guys in their little village in Scotland.
And they were drinking a lot of ale. And one guy was like, I bet I can throw this rock farther than you.
And then he's like, well, I bet you I can throw the bigger rock. And it just escalated until one of them threw a tree and killed the other one.
They're like, shit, I guess we can't play this sport anymore. The only thing I didn't like about this was the storyline, like the Rudy storyline of the little guy.
And the whole time I was like, he's going to wow everyone. And he just, he was DQ'd after like four events.
That's a million percent of sport. It just fucking sucked.
The bigger you are, the better you are. Yeah.
No doubt about it. Yeah.
The log toss. Holy shit.
It might be a little bit after your guy's time, but there was a Disney Channel movie uh luck of the irish where this kid was like a leprechaun and and he had to go i i was trying to remember it but it was like he he was at the cape cod chip factory he turned into a leprechaun ended up at the scottish games and had to win to like unturn himself into a leprechaun so he could go win his high school state championship that is the most boston story i've ever heard no it's luck of the, it was Luck of the Irish. No, it was a Disney Channel movie.
I remember that. You remember it, Billy? Slightly.
It's definitely real. That's what I was thinking the whole time.
I was just basically trying to remember the plot of Luck of the Irish. Yeah.
I look forward to when you tell us about it in three weeks, Billy. Googling it.
Okay, cool. I just can't.
That's a summary. All right, what do we got? Next week, we got Luke Bryan.
Yeah. That's a great interview.

We got Dungeons and Dragons coming up.

Dungeons and Dragons coming up.

We're going to find out if we can kill Billy after he turned code on us.

We're going to torture him.

That will be my first question to Tim Woods.

I'm going to be like, how do we make it so that we don't actually kill him, but basically

we just drag him around?

Oh, he's going to be my little Theon Greyjoy.

The stuff that I'm going to put you through, Billy.

Cut his dick off. Make him eat his own to be my little Theon Greyjoy.
The stuff that I'm going to put you through. Cut his dick off.

Make him eat his own penis.

That's all coming next week.

Protein, though.

Like, imagine the gains.

Yeah, dude.

She's coming back for me.

The dragon.

No, she isn't.

Okay, keep telling yourself that, Billy.

All right, we'll see you everyone Monday.

Have a safe weekend.

Love you guys. Thank you.
I'll take the fun and you shine it away. I'm coming for your love of tea.

Shine it away.

I'm coming for your love of tea.

I'm going to be on the air I'm going to be on the air

I'm going to be on the air Thank you. I want to hear it, but I need someone to let it wait So I learn that life is okay Say after me, it's a minute to be safe or sorry Say after me, it's a minute to be safe or sorry Things that say, every little I thought Just to play that bird the reason why You are the things I've got to remember When you're shying away, I'll come for you in many ways When you're shying away, I'll come for you in many ways Hey! Thank you.
Take on me. Take on me.

Take on me.

Take on me.

Take on me.