Trevor Bauer, Patrick Mahomes Got PAID And Tik Tok Drama

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Speaker 1 On today's part in my take, we have a packed-to-pack show. We have Trevor Bauer talking about baseball coming back from a player's perspective, what he's experiencing.
Will baseball be played?

Speaker 1 We have Patrick Mahomes getting absolutely paid, paid, paid, paid. We have hot seat, cool thrown.
We have a great Mount Rushmore.

Speaker 1 We have Guys on Chicks, PR 101 for Deshaun Jackson. Tons of stuff.
Still no sports, but tons of stuff to talk about.

Speaker 1 When cool, creamy ranch meets tangy, bold buffalo, the whole is greater than the sum of its sauce. Say howdy, partner, to new Buffalo Ranch sauce, only at McDonald's for a limited time.

Speaker 1 At participating, McDonald's. Okay,

Speaker 1 let's go.

Speaker 1 Now in the street, there is violence.

Speaker 1 and then a lot of some work will be done.

Speaker 1 Look at the honey, I love washing,

Speaker 1 and then I can't blame all on the sun.

Speaker 1 Oh no, we're gonna rock down to electric avenue,

Speaker 1 and then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna rock down to electric avenue.

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Speaker 1 Welcome to Part of My Tape presented by the Cash App. Go download it right now.
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Today is Wednesday, July 8th.

Speaker 1 And since all my drama has been put out on the internet for the world to judge me, let's lay out everyone else's. Anthony got with Cynthia a week after we broke up on tour.
My God.

Speaker 1 Jaden actively tried to hook up with Dixie at our house on the 4th of July in front of me while she was was dating Griffin. That's so, Jaden.

Speaker 1 Griffin cheated on Dixie with Taylor's ex-Kalen and Bryce's ex-L.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. Jaden and Josh cheated endless amounts of times on Mads and Nessa for the past few months.
Nessa? And Keo cheated on Olivia.

Speaker 1 The only person who has a right to be upset with me is Charlie, and I'm sorry I hurt her. We broke up and I messed up by kissing Nessa.
I'm not sorry to Josh.

Speaker 1 We are not boys and we haven't been boys since he lied to Charlie saying I had an STD six months ago trying to get her to stop seeing me. I'm not going to let these hypocrites try and ruin my life.

Speaker 1 Their lives being out on the internet, too.

Speaker 1 I've never felt so old when I saw TikTok trending on Monday night, and this was the message we got on that.

Speaker 1 This is what happens anytime that one social media platform trends on another social media platform. I'm just always lost about it.
And it's Shakespearean drama. It's crazy.

Speaker 1 We're going to get to Patrick Mahomes. Don't worry, but this is clearly the biggest news of the day.
TikTok is falling apart. TikTok stars are falling apart.

Speaker 1 I just want to go through these names again because it's fucking hilarious. Anthony and Cynthia.
Those are annoying.

Speaker 4 Some

Speaker 4 taky nominees. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Some take you nominate. Yeah, it really broke their heads.
No, literally. These are the

Speaker 1 broke their hearts not winning 19-year-old of the year, and they just lashed out. I like that they eased us in with Anthony and Cynthia.
Like, there were Anthony and Cynthia's in 1950.

Speaker 1 Then we got to Jaden, Dixie, Griffin, Taylor, Kaylin. I can't believe Dixie hasn't changed her name yet.
Yeah, Bryce, L, Jaden again,

Speaker 1 Josh, Mads and Nessa, Keo.

Speaker 1 Keo, wait. What the fuck? How do you spell Keo? K-I-O.
Of course. I don't.

Speaker 1 I've never felt so old. We're going to get to it in a fun sequel to throw them, but that is the funniest statement that's ever been released.
You alluded to it.

Speaker 1 Patrick Mahomes gets paid half a billion dollars. All of a sudden, the platform that his brother is on and all his competition gets canceled immediately.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You don't think that money pays for a little detective work? Good point. Good point, PFT.
It's,

Speaker 1 yeah, that

Speaker 1 I can't wait. I wish I could hit a fast-forward button from like 15 years from now and have, who wrote this? Chase Hudson? Huddy? Huddy is over.
Lil' Huddy, Lil Huddy. Lil Huddy.

Speaker 1 I want him to, I want to flash forward to when Lil Huddy's like 40 years old and put that, slide it right in front of his face and be like, you tweeted this, man. Listen, the second you start typing.

Speaker 1 No, he wrote it in his notes. Yeah,

Speaker 1 the second that you start typing anything to notes app, you know that some shit's about to pop off.

Speaker 1 That's turning the key on the submarine to launch a nuclear missile. I hope I never get to any place in my life where I have to unironically post a notes app because at that point,

Speaker 1 I don't think there's any coming back from that. I just, I'm pissed that little huddy messed up by kissing Nessa.
Well, that was the ultimate betrayal. To be fair, they were on a break.

Speaker 1 Where do all these people exist?

Speaker 4 Oh, well, I mean, it's basically like Romeo and Juliet. Like, instead of the capulets and the montologues or whatever,

Speaker 4 there's the Sway House, there's the Sway house, and there's the hype house. And all these people are divided between those two houses.

Speaker 1 There's, you know, I don't really know.

Speaker 4 They're in California.

Speaker 4 It's all just like all your fear of California teens, they all organize in these two houses, and that's where it all goes down.

Speaker 1 Thankfully, they're just going to take each other apart.

Speaker 1 What we need is, knowing, like, just hearing the name Sway and Hype, and like knowing that 10 years ago, all these people who are on TikTok would have been like ex-gamers.

Speaker 1 We need Sal Masikala to get in here and intervene and let us know. Not even

Speaker 1 that. No, they probably would have been.
You would have had one. Dude, you're telling me that

Speaker 1 Javen wouldn't have fucking been ripping rail grinds 10 years ago.

Speaker 4 He's just dancing.

Speaker 1 How old are these people, too?

Speaker 4 The girl Charlie is 16 years old.

Speaker 1 No, this is exactly Shakespearean. I'm pretty sure that everybody in Shakespeare was like 10 years younger than you think they are when you read the plays.
Yeah. Everyone's like 12 to 18 years old.

Speaker 1 Holy shit. All right, so that's TikTok drama.

Speaker 1 I just saw that and it was one of the funniest things I've read. Unintentionally, one of the funniest things that have been put on the internet.

Speaker 4 Well, it's also, and I obviously don't really understand it either, but it's a classic situation of like this kid got called out and instead of just, you know, owning up to it, he decided to just throw all the gas on the fire and just blow up everything

Speaker 1 kissing each other.

Speaker 1 How does this tie into dog coin? That's the big question about this. Yeah, Dogecoin? Yeah, they're pumping Dogecoin.
They're pumping and dumping Dogecoin.

Speaker 1 And so people are saying that this notes app got note-sapped just as a distraction. I'm pissed that I'm not in on Dogecoin.
I'm long.

Speaker 1 I'm long on Dogecoin. Full disclaimer: I have been long on Dogecoin.
It's a sliding door moment, though. It's like I picked Bitcoin 2Gen.

Speaker 1 I trusted Steven Seagal in his pyramid scheme that was literally a pyramid scheme. I fucked up.
I should have done Dogecoin with the TikTokers. Yeah, the memes were way stronger on Dogecoin.
It sucks.

Speaker 1 All right, speaking of money, let's talk about the real story. Patrick Mahomes got fucking paid.
10-year extension, $503 million.

Speaker 1 dollars this is the ultimate contract tweet porn that I still don't even understand his contract guaranteed mechanisms were were trending because that was part of it and it seems like it's a rolling contract that they get to keep paying him and then he can get out at any time but either way he made a shitload of money yeah the bottom line is he's rich as fuck and he's gonna be even richer living in Kansas City where he doesn't he's a 24 year old that never has to pay for a beer in his hometown so right there that's worth at least like $2 million a year.

Speaker 1 Plus, he's getting about $500 million. It's like

Speaker 1 the guaranteed mechanisms part of the contract doesn't make sense to me, but they also said that it's not going to be rolling with the CBO, with the cap is. Right.

Speaker 1 The cap hit jumps up to like $60 million in five or six years. At that point, he'll probably have renegotiated.
Right. He's going to keep renegotiating.

Speaker 1 He does get guaranteed $63 million of guy signing and a guaranteed total guarantees up to $141 million by March 2022. Now, you say the cat pick because this is the ultimate.

Speaker 1 Patrick Mahomes is worth it because he's, it's almost like he's worth it because he already won a Super Bowl and you would pay a lot of money for a Super Bowl, any franchise would.

Speaker 1 But the ultimate question now is, will paying Patrick Mahomes this much

Speaker 1 hurt the team and of course it will because he's getting paid a lot of money.

Speaker 1 And is it going to be worth it in the long run when you have to figure out a way to cobble together a team by paying Patrick Mahomes this much?

Speaker 1 I think the way that this summer has gone, you're kind of banking on the fact that the Earth might not exist in 10 years. So you might as well give somebody a massive contract.

Speaker 1 And then, you know, three, four years down the line, it's like if the Earth's still around, then yeah, we'll figure out that problem. We'll roll that ball down the hill.

Speaker 1 But anybody that plays with Patrick Mahomes is actually going to be elevated to a much higher level. Correct.
So like you can afford to kind of recycle or get new wide receivers on rookie deals.

Speaker 1 You can get guys that are free agents that might not be that expensive. And just putting him in proximity of that arm, they're going to be worth a lot more.

Speaker 1 But depth and margin for error gets a lot slimmer. And I'm not saying that they shouldn't have paid him.
They clearly should have paid him.

Speaker 1 Now, obviously, I would never, like, could you imagine rooting for the same quarterback for like 15 years? That's lame. I'm happy that sounds bad, Mitch.

Speaker 1 And then someone else, and then someone else. And Mitch, he hasn't had his deal yet, so we don't know what it's going to be.
Well, this sets the market right now.

Speaker 1 There's actually a non-zero chance that the Chicago Bears see this, and they're like, you know what? We picked Mitch ahead of Patrick Mahomes.

Speaker 1 So technically, I think we should probably pay him $560 million. All right, wait, I want to get about it, Big Cat.

Speaker 4 Like Tom Brady's been a constant in my life since I was like 10 years old. Super Bowls, six Super Bowls.
Like the loss of him leaving is something that's really been hard for me to handle.

Speaker 1 It's a

Speaker 1 lot. You don't have to worry about that.
Yeah, it's in and out. So, all right, so I want to get back to the Mitch aspect, but the Patrick Mahomes.
So he is part of elite company.

Speaker 1 There are 13 guys who have won Super Bowl MVP and league MVP. Nine of them, nine out of 13 are in the Hall of Fame.

Speaker 1 The other three are Aaron Rodgers, Peyton Manning, Tom Brady, and then the 13th is Patrick Mahomes. So essentially, you're saying he's already a Hall of Famer.
Yes.

Speaker 1 He is already in the upper, upper, upper echelon of NFL players when you actually break it it down, it's like there's only been 13 who have done this, and they're all fucking special.

Speaker 1 So, how many Super Bowls does he have to win in the next 10 years to make this contract worth it?

Speaker 1 I would say if he wins six Super Bowls on top of the one that he already has, then it's absolutely worth it. Oh, I'd say it's way less.
I'd say if he wins two more,

Speaker 1 if he wins three Super Bowls total, I think it's worth it.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's probably worth it. No, actually, listen.

Speaker 1 The answer is worth it right now. Listen, you know what I just talked myself into right there?

Speaker 1 I talked myself into an actual skip bayless debate on like at what point is, who gives a fuck how much money the Chiefs spend on Patrick Mahomes? He's awesome.

Speaker 1 He's going to get paid, and he's going to be awesome to watch for me as an outsider for the next 10 years. I wish they'd paid him more.

Speaker 1 If you, though, said over-under Super Bowls for Patrick Mahomes and you said it at, let's say, three and a half, I would hammer the under.

Speaker 1 And that's nothing against Patrick Mahomes. That's just the NFL.
Look at the big case for can you keep a roster intact when you pay a quarterback that much is Russell Wilson.

Speaker 1 Russell Wilson, first four years in the league, the Seahawks were dominant. They win a Super Bowl.
They go to another one.

Speaker 1 The last four years, they're still good. So

Speaker 1 they won 46 games in the first four years, regular season games. They won 40 games in the last four years.
And you might think six games isn't a lot, but they missed the playoffs by a game.

Speaker 1 They missed the buy by a game twice. So out of those four years, you basically eliminated a chance.
You know, getting a buy

Speaker 1 greatly increases your chances. So is Russell Wilson worth it? Yes, but it makes it a hell of a lot harder when you don't have the same depth and margin for error when you put together a roster.

Speaker 1 You know who this really sucks for more than anybody is the people

Speaker 1 that just got Madden and they're trying to set up their dynasty mode. And Patrick Mahomes used to be a very affordable quarterback.

Speaker 1 And now with the live update, they're getting absolutely hammered in their ability to create a team. Like, fuck that.

Speaker 1 I would actually get a refund if I were them.

Speaker 4 How much of a difference do you think Andy Reid makes in that situation versus Pete Carroll?

Speaker 1 So Andy Reid, it's a good question, Hank. I think you absolutely, he, well, no, I think Pete Carroll's a very good coach.

Speaker 1 Andy Reid's a better offensive coach, obviously, but Andy Reid, now that he has a Super Bowl, he's not going to coach forever. He's not going to be there for Patrick Williams.
What is he going to do?

Speaker 1 I don't think Andy, I think Andy Reid's probably got five more years, maybe. I mean, well, he said today, I'm a happy guy.
I'm wearing my best Tommy Bahama.

Speaker 1 So he wore that as like his formal Hawaiian shirt is what he wore today it I shudder to think what Andy Reid's retirement Tommy Bahama shirt looks like oh it's gonna be great because him having like a really nice one implies that he has like mood rings of Hawaiian shirts that he puts on depending if he wakes up curious if he wakes up angry if he wakes up just in a great mood uh he got a quarterback for the next 10 years but yeah I don't think that Andy is sticking around he's 62 yeah he's 62 so Andy's Andy feels like a guy that might start fading off into the sunset and if he gets another super bunch he also has a ring if he has a ring that changes everything if he gets another Super Bowl, he might retire at that point.

Speaker 1 Right. I just, you can't expect Andy Reid to be there for the length of Patron.
I don't expect Patrick Mahomes' contract to be there for the length of the contract.

Speaker 1 I mean, like we said, it's going to renegotiate. Who knows what's going to happen.

Speaker 1 It's one of those weird spots in sports where you have to pay him blank check $500 million,

Speaker 1 but you also have to acknowledge that it's going to be a hell of a lot harder going forward. when he takes up 13, 14% of the cap and putting together a roster.

Speaker 1 But I guess that's why you also pay Andy Reid and you hope that Patrick Mahomes, like you said, elevates everyone else.

Speaker 1 When I first saw this contract and I saw $500 million, my initial thought is that

Speaker 1 if I had that much money guaranteed when I was 24, I'd be fucking dead immediately.

Speaker 1 I don't think I would survive longer than two years if you paid me $127 million. What was the check that he got? He got $66 million on signing.
On signing.

Speaker 1 If you gave me, well, that's really only like $35 million. So

Speaker 1 not really worth it after taxes.

Speaker 1 But yeah, if you gave me $35 million, like cold hard cash in my bank account when I'm 24 years old, I'm dead by the time I'm 25. At least he's living in Kansas City.
That's true.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that definitely gives you a little more leeway on your life expectancy. Does he move over to the Missouri side now? He's got a little money in his pocket.
People are wondering.

Speaker 1 So I got a cold takes exposed for you guys. On April 27, 2017,

Speaker 1 someone in the media tweeted, didn't trade up to take Patrick Mahomes in the top 10. That's a huge win.

Speaker 1 That was big cat, I bet. Fuck.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 knew that was you. That sucks so much.
Knew that was you. Also, my favorite thing

Speaker 1 about quarterback contract Twitter is watching people just speculate, okay, who's next in line? What does this mean for Dak Prescott? And you know that

Speaker 1 Mitch Trubisky. There are a lot of people saying like Dak is going to get a similar contract.
That would be hilarious. Yes.
I really hope that happens.

Speaker 1 Man, that would actually make my day as a Washington 2B Determines fan if Dak Prescott gets paid $50 million a year. Hell yeah, do it, Jerry.

Speaker 1 I mean, that's the thing, too, with Mahomes. It's unprecedented.
I don't know if anyone's ever won a Super Bowl MVP and an MVP in his third season, really his second season. Like, he,

Speaker 1 you know, Big Ben won a Super Bowl in his second season, Tom Brady, but they didn't win MVPs until later on in their career.

Speaker 1 And now, you can correct me if I'm wrong, but I think that this is the first contract in the NFL where a player will be getting paid more money than Roger Goodell.

Speaker 1 Roger's going to be heated.

Speaker 1 Yeah, what was his salary? I think it was like $34 million last year. Russ might have beaten that, but by a little.

Speaker 1 I think Russ was like $36 million.

Speaker 1 No player has ever won a Super Bowl making more money than Roderick Goodell.

Speaker 1 I don't know. Is that trend going to continue with Patrick Mahomes? Many say it might.

Speaker 1 So if you've listened to this show for a long time, you know that I'm

Speaker 1 down to lose pieces of my body for whatever, stupid things. I think now that

Speaker 1 Patrick Mahomes has the first three years it played out, the first three years of Mitch had played out, I think I'd give up a leg to have Patrick Mahomes on the Bears. A full leg.
Knee down. Left leg?

Speaker 1 Left leg, knee down. Okay, you don't really.
I can't imagine how long.

Speaker 4 How long is this statement going to last? Because what if

Speaker 4 he becomes a journeyman in six years

Speaker 4 and ends up on the Bears?

Speaker 1 Does he win another MBP? Do you need to win another MBP? I mean, Super Bowl?

Speaker 1 Yeah. You don't need your legs in your 40s.
Dude, I just couldn't imagine having a bad one.

Speaker 4 You won't be able to walk at your son's graduation.

Speaker 1 Big cat. That's true.
Crutch, though, and everyone's like, maybe gives me a little bit of applause. Show up like Lieutenant Dan.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That was actually the storyline in Adam Sandler's romp comedy of this week, the week of. It was a guy without legs, and everyone said that he was a World War II vet and he wasn't.
He had diabetes.

Speaker 1 So a lot of people would have

Speaker 1 to play by Rob Schneider. No, some old guy didn't know.
A lot of people would just assume that you were a veteran on the streets.

Speaker 1 I have a friend that lost a leg when he was in fifth grade, and a lot of people just come up to him and thank him for his service. He just stopped correcting them.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So, so I would, I just don't know. Is,

Speaker 1 and I like Mitch, and I'm not trying to pile on him, but he's part of the conversation here.

Speaker 1 Does he, is it like one of the worst draft picks? It's not his fault, but is it one of the worst draft picks in terms of trading up and then having a guy like Patrick Mahomes who

Speaker 1 would be the best ever? You know what you need to do? Mitch just needs to change his jersey number to number nine because that's how many teams passed on Patrick Mahomes.

Speaker 1 I just wish he had been drafted lower because then it's not,

Speaker 1 oh my God.

Speaker 1 Ryan Pace should be fired just for this. Just for the minute that Patrick Mahomes signs that contract, be like, uh,

Speaker 1 okay. I think you should actually give, make that

Speaker 1 offer

Speaker 1 for you to give up a leg. It's not a bad deal for you.
You don't use your legs that much, anyways. No.
You probably get better at video games.

Speaker 1 You would lose some weight immediately. Yep.
Boom, you get it. Instead, you're under 200.

Speaker 1 Your BMI would be slightly overweight. Yeah.
How much is it morbidly obese? Leg, which one? Your left one? Yeah. Your leg? You've got skinny legs and like no ass.
So I would say... Thanks.

Speaker 1 I didn't ask about my ass. Your leg is.
Well, the ass, that's a question.

Speaker 1 No, I know, I know.

Speaker 1 Is the ass open-ended leg ass

Speaker 1 gross? Is your ass part of your leg? No, I said knee down. Oh, knee down? I would go a little bit higher than that.

Speaker 1 Why would you want a knee if you didn't have a lower leg?

Speaker 1 Oscar Pretoria has to get the pegs.

Speaker 1 You got to go right above the knee, if anything. Okay.
I think that would probably cost you about 24 pounds. I just can't.
I just need to move on. We just need to move on.

Speaker 1 Plus, your other leg with the ball is going to be a little bit.

Speaker 1 Go do your thing. Awesome.

Speaker 1 Bears, go find someone else. Like I said, who would want to have their salary cap ruined by Patrick Mahomes? And not me.

Speaker 1 I think what you bring up about being bored with one quarterback, it's absolutely the truth. Right.
I've watched probably 25 quarterbacks in the last 20 years in Washington. It's exhilarating.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Every new guy could be the guy. The three years I had with Kirk Cousins were the most boring years of my life.
I was like, oh, who wants a guy that's going to go eight and eight and be consistent?

Speaker 1 Dude, I sold myself on Mike Glennon. I could sell myself on anyone.
That thrill of being like, this is the guy, Chiefs fans don't have that anymore. You know what your guy is.
I'll have fun with that.

Speaker 1 Not for me.

Speaker 1 All right. That's Patrick Mahomes.
MLB released their schedule. So we're getting closer.

Speaker 1 There's like no day games. There's some weird times, though.
No, there aren't any.

Speaker 4 On opening day, there's one day game.

Speaker 1 No, there's day games. On opening day, there's only one day.
I saw the Cubs had a bunch of day games, or they always do, but there were some weird times that were playing like 5 o'clock or something.

Speaker 1 I think it's time to have an honest conversation about the MLB's plan for reopening. There's no chance that it works.
All right, well, we'll talk to Trevor Bauer in a minute.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we'll talk to him about it.

Speaker 1 We'll get his

Speaker 1 thoughts on that. I want to be optimistic.
I've reached a point where I'm just like, I've given up. No, I think all of our hopes and dreams actually rest on hockey.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because hockey's playing in Canada. And

Speaker 4 Disney's not testing people for COVID and they're coming back.

Speaker 4 It seems like Florida is just going to that's going to fall apart quickly soon, too.

Speaker 1 Canada, please for once pull through for it. College football feels like it's going to be a spring season.
College football is just going to say fuck it. No, I don't think so.

Speaker 1 You don't think they're in fuck it mode? No. I think the SEC is always in fuck it mode.

Speaker 1 SEC maybe, but the fact that there are now colleges that are like, we're not going to have our kids come back on campus, I think it becomes a harder and harder sell.

Speaker 1 And it's just college is NFL, obviously the difference is they're paying the NFL players, but there's also a structured, this is the commissioner, this is the league, this is mandated.

Speaker 1 College, you have all different states rules. You have all different conference rules.
The NCAA trying to get, and there's like 150 teams. I just don't know how they do it.
I honestly don't.

Speaker 1 I've been talking to BizNasti about this because we were discussing the Chell's ideas about coming back and having the tournaments in different cities and all that.

Speaker 1 I'm trying to get Biz to get tested

Speaker 1 for the antibodies because if he's got the antibodies, then he can just be a goon for hire and be like a million bucks

Speaker 1 if Tom Wilson breaks his wrist on Sidney Crosby's face accidentally by skating into him with a forearm. Ready to go.
Then he is ready to step in and he will be confirmed COVID-free. We need that.

Speaker 1 We need Biz back in the league. I kind of want to get a test too, just so I could market myself as the COVID-free kicker.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Can you imagine the night?

Speaker 1 The day I did, but that was a couple months ago. You think you've had it? I think that Billy's

Speaker 1 so bummed out when you didn't have it. Billy football has talked me into the idea that the antibody tests are all screwed up and you can get like a different result.

Speaker 1 You're just going to keep getting a test until you get it. You keep getting a test until they accidentally reuse a test on me.

Speaker 1 But my idea is, and this is actually like 50% serious.

Speaker 1 If the Jets or the Giants lose a kicker the night before a home game and they have to put him in quarantine and I'm available and I've got the antibodies.

Speaker 1 What percent serious? 50%. That's 50.
Way, way too high. You don't think there's...
Wait, no. You don't think there's going, keep going, keep going.
No, but I'm going to have my phone on, ready to go.

Speaker 1 I will just market myself. I'll do a better job than all the people.

Speaker 4 You're not going to go out on Saturdays.

Speaker 1 What about the punter? How about I just camp out

Speaker 1 on the team? I could camp outside Met Life

Speaker 1 every Saturday night in the home.

Speaker 4 All the colleges in the area. What about

Speaker 1 a wide receiver running? It'd just be so much easier on the way into the stadium.

Speaker 1 The special teams coach could just pick me up on his way into the locker. What about just going for it?

Speaker 1 On fourth down? Yeah. Not even kicking in the extra? Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's what I'm saying. Like that would happen before.
50%. 50%.

Speaker 1 I think that's more of like a 0.00. If I'm in the fucking parking lot.

Speaker 1 I actually think you need to get a mental test with the kids. And their kicker just tested positive.
That you actually are 50%.

Speaker 1 There's literally everyone on the team that could kick. Yeah, but I'm better than everybody else.
I don't know about that. Except for maybe the punter.
I don't think. Sam Darnold.

Speaker 1 I think every athlete on the team, you are better than

Speaker 4 probably 50% of the team.

Speaker 1 I'm way better than the scope of the team. I don't know, dude.

Speaker 1 Lane Johnson.

Speaker 1 I think Lane Johnson probably has more power in his leg. No, PFD can kick.
I'm a way better kicker than Lane Johnson.

Speaker 1 I don't know. None of the the other players have kicking training.

Speaker 4 He's definitely better than 50% of the team. Way better.

Speaker 1 I'd say better than every player except for maybe the backup quarterback that has a lot of time on his hands to dick around and the punter. I don't know, man.
All these guys are.

Speaker 1 They don't have to kill the punter. They're like the best players

Speaker 1 in the field. They're the best players kicked in fucking high school.
Like all these guys were the best players in high school and they probably kicked everything in high school too.

Speaker 1 I don't think that that's true at all.

Speaker 1 I think that the players that were great athletes and kicked in high school for the most part become like a Johnny Hecker.

Speaker 1 No, I know, like a guy who just plays every position in high school and dominates everybody. Go ahead, Billy.

Speaker 6 You're forgetting that a lot of linemen and Pop Warner used to have the biggest legs

Speaker 1 to kick the kicker. Right, that's what I'm saying.
So, like, and Pop Warner, they do toe styles, but they can kick.

Speaker 4 But they're also on the field like a million hours a day, kicking around, probably kicking.

Speaker 1 Odell, yeah, you see the video of Odell doing that. Odell definitely can kick.
Yeah, Odell could kick. So that's why I'm not.
That's why they traded him away from the Giants.

Speaker 4 I believe in UPFT.

Speaker 1 50%'s a lot. 50%.
I'm better than. Wait, are you 50%?

Speaker 4 If you got the chance, you would make the most of it. Thank you.

Speaker 1 That's all I want. It's just a chance.
Okay, there we go. Just staying ready.
You want a chance. So you're going to live in New Jersey?

Speaker 1 I will drive to MetLife Stadium every Sunday morning if there's a player that tests positive for COVID, if there's a kicker that tests positive. Okay.
Bill Metli.

Speaker 4 You need a guy that waited outside the Patriots.

Speaker 1 You need to figure out a way to take out the punters, is really what we need.

Speaker 1 Well, no, I was thinking I was going to hide in the bushes, wait for the special teams coach, but then if a punter got there first, I'd jump out with a hunting knife. Just have them

Speaker 4 Sam Darnold every weekend.

Speaker 1 Kind of need a list of everyone in the greater New York area that kicked at any level.

Speaker 1 And yeah, maybe he'll cough on all of them.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the planes, right? There can't be that many people. Well, Red Bull players, they could just send their private players.
Good point, Bill.

Speaker 1 Oh, geez. Yeah.
He's talking about all the soccer balls. Kicking a soccer ball is much different than kicking a football.

Speaker 1 I think I you do you think you're better than 50% of the players on the Red Bulls? From 35 yards? Yes. From any distance.
35 yards, yes. Then 50% of MLS players.
Okay. All right.

Speaker 1 Well, confidence is half the battle. I don't think I'm being irrationally overconfident in this.

Speaker 1 I think maybe by saying there's

Speaker 1 an extra zero. Yeah, I did.
No, you're right. My math was wrong, and that's a common theme for me.
So I fucked up with the zeros. It's a 5% chance that it actually happens.

Speaker 1 But I think that I'm better than 50% of New York Red Bulls soccer players at kicking field goals in football. Tony Miola could only make like a 35-yarder when he tried out for the Jets.

Speaker 1 I'm not talking about people forget that. Goalies do they do goal kicks.
They're actually better at kicking than most players. What were you going to say, Billy?

Speaker 6 Bergen County is a football hotbed, and they definitely have a ton of kickers who could they just not pay and keep their eligibility.

Speaker 1 Don't use the word hotbed. How many kickers in America do you think are better than you right now?

Speaker 1 I'd say probably like

Speaker 1 500,000 people are better than me. Okay,

Speaker 1 that seems like that's

Speaker 1 the under.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'd probably take the under. I would have said like 200,000.
Oh, now you guys are talking me. Okay, you're right.
Yeah, well, we go back to the market. I think you just find 50%.
Listen,

Speaker 1 you started with there's a 50-50 chance the Giants will sign me. So I had to find a way to work in the back door here where we had some math that made sense.

Speaker 1 It's 50% if their kicker tests positive for Corona the morning of a game, and I just happened to be in the parking lot with a sign that says I did.

Speaker 1 Not to bring up bad things in the past, but what about all the XFL kickers? They're not going to be in the parking lot. I will be.
They probably, some of them live around here.

Speaker 1 But they're not going to be in the parking lot. That's true.
The parking lot aspect. Listen, I'm going to be, I'm marketing myself as the most convenient solution, not the best.
Right, right. Okay?

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 No, the most convenient probably is to go for two. I'm the gas station condom, right? You'll take it if it's the only, you want a Trojan.
You want a Durex. You want a brand name.

Speaker 4 Or you just don't use it in Go for 2. Right.

Speaker 1 You just go, yeah, right. You say, fuck it.
I'll pull out. But

Speaker 1 if you see a rough ride, I think most people do the fucking ride.

Speaker 1 Hanging off the tag, and it's 99 cents. Yeah, it might break, and it might fuck up the rest of your life, but it's there.
You might give it a shot. All right, let's get to Hot Seat Cool Throne.

Speaker 1 Hot Seat Cool Throne is brought to you by Bud Light Seltzer. Try it for yourself and see why the great taste of Bud Light Seltzer is putting all others in the hot seat.

Speaker 1 Fourth of July is coming up, and we know you need some ice-cold Bud Light and Bud Light Seltzer.

Speaker 1 So remember to use code PMT on Drizzly to get $5 off your first purchase of Bud Light Seltzer delivered right to your door. Hot seat cool throne, do you want to start with Billy?

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Billy, how was South Dakota? You went out for

Speaker 1 Trump's big speech. No, I didn't come for a speech.
You wanted to dispel the fact that you were Lib of the Year. As you were walking out the door, you said, I'm going to go save some monuments.

Speaker 1 Billy gets nominated for Lib of the Year once and immediately books a one-way train ticket to South Dakota to go hang out at Mount Rushmore. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Okay, I was there to see Reptile Gardens.

Speaker 1 You're wearing cowboy boots. You are the dude who comes back from Europe with a fucking accent.
They were a guest. You were there for three days.

Speaker 1 They were a gift. Okay, keep going.
Okay.

Speaker 1 I didn't realize he's wearing Cowboy. Are you driving those? They're a gift.
They were given to me while I was out there. Did you bring your fucking bow knife and shit to the office today?

Speaker 1 Billy, are you wearing Carhartt? No, they're talking to Billy. Okay, they're Sims.
They're different.

Speaker 6 No free ads.

Speaker 1 They're a cool company. They're really cool too.
No free ads.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, Cool Throne, people who get

Speaker 1 first.

Speaker 1 Hot seat football.

Speaker 6 Because a bunch of D3 colleges have started to cancel their seasons, including mine.

Speaker 1 So, in a couple of Why did they have bad tweets?

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 6 just the seasons, just because of Corona and everything. They're not having people back to their campuses.
So, like, we're starting to see definitely. Do you agree?

Speaker 1 And, like, I feel like that's a precursor to Division I. Well, I think the Power Five, as long as there's money involved, they're going to play.
They might play.

Speaker 1 What I heard, which actually would be so fucking perfect for debate, is that every conference just plays their conference schedule, and now we have to just decide who's got the best conference.

Speaker 1 So, like, every team,

Speaker 1 it will be no crossover, and everyone's like, now four teams from the SEC get into the fucking tournament. UCF is going to declare another national title.
Yeah. Well, there's rules.

Speaker 1 Well, they wouldn't even play. That's true.
Oh, no. Yeah, they wouldn't play.
Well, what would the independent schools do? Who's Notre Dame going to play? I don't know.

Speaker 1 Well, they would probably get to play an ACC schedule. No, Notre Dame would absolutely just get into the playoffs for going undefeated and not beating anybody.

Speaker 6 I'm hearing rumors that Dabo is purposely making sure all his players catch COVID so they have the antibodies for the season.

Speaker 1 Rumors from who? Rumors from... Your brain.
Have you been listening to part of my take? I've been listening. Because I think we floated that theory.
Absolutely. 100%.
It's herd immunity. Yeah.

Speaker 1 As seen on Colin Coward on FS1. Anyway,

Speaker 1 Cool Throne.

Speaker 6 People who get scared by headlines.

Speaker 1 Great idea for a segment, by the way, herd immunity. Right.

Speaker 6 So there's a lot of headlines that that are like scaring people like, oh, there's a new virus that can kill us all again. And then there's like the bubonic plagues back.

Speaker 6 And the thing is, like, a lot of those things, like the Black Death, the bubonic plague, has a cure. But people tweeting out the link that says the bubonic plague has popped up in my life.

Speaker 1 This is another thing we've done on Parliamentary.

Speaker 1 We've literally, I canceled fear like a month ago. I said I was fun being afraid.
Well, I'm just bringing up another one.

Speaker 1 It is the quote tweet industrial complex. This is actually like that headline was absolutely written just so that people would quote tweet it on CNN and then dunk on it.
I actually like this, Billy.

Speaker 1 You're just going to like, if people don't listen to every show, they can just listen to you and catch up to what they missed.

Speaker 1 I did the tick disease. I did, I'm just canceling the fear.
Okay, thank you for canceling fear. I did that a month ago.
That was murder hornet season.

Speaker 1 But yeah, bubonic plague, if you don't follow along, there is a story about the bubonic plague every single year. It's always in like New Mexico, I feel like.
New Mexico or Arizona.

Speaker 1 It's got a scary name.

Speaker 1 All right, Hank, your hot seat cooler on it.

Speaker 4 My hot seat, we talked about at the beginning of the show, is TikTok. Yes.
So apparently, it's all the rage everyone's talking about it.

Speaker 4 But apparently, the government is talking about shutting it down. Like, India, I guess, shut down like 39 because

Speaker 4 it's a Chinese-developed app, and India shut down like 39 Chinese apps. And there's talks, Pompeo, Secretary of State, said they might do the same thing.
Mike Pompeo.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there he is.

Speaker 1 That's fucked up because if you set that precedent that you're going to shut down every single Chinese app, then where am I going to go see pictures of my guy friends looking like chicks that I want to fuck?

Speaker 1 That's an issue for me. Yeah, it feels like TikTok is not long for censorship aside, seeing the TikTokers.
I don't know if it's censorship when they're

Speaker 1 blatantly spying on you.

Speaker 4 No, I'm saying whatever. I'm not even talking about that, but I'm saying the reaction from the TikTokers would be unbelievable.
Like watching what they would do.

Speaker 4 The little hoodies.

Speaker 4 It would be just, it would be chaos.

Speaker 1 Chaos in the streets. What has Vine been up to? Vine's been notably silent during all this.
Do you think that, I mean, we do need to bring back Vine. It was a better version of TikTok.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Well, it was because we could understand it.

Speaker 4 True. We were young.
Six seconds.

Speaker 1 Yes. It was when I was in my 20s.

Speaker 1 It was a six-second

Speaker 1 old day. It was a six-second video that you could record and then put music under and then put online and it would repeat.

Speaker 4 Yes. Then my cool throne is Usain Bolt.

Speaker 4 Did you guys see what he named his daughter? No.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 No, take a guess.

Speaker 1 Lightning Bolt.

Speaker 4 Olympia lightning bolt.

Speaker 1 Ooh, nice.

Speaker 4 Maybe the greatest name of all time. Yes, that's good.

Speaker 1 That is sick. Olympia Lightning Bolt.
She's going to be fast. Very fast.
All right, PFT, what's your hot seat cool to run?

Speaker 1 My hot seat is going to be... Well, I had Lil Huddy on there, but we obviously, I think we drove that one to the game.

Speaker 1 My hot seat is Joe West.

Speaker 1 Joe West said today that even though he's been labeled as being in like a target population or a very dangerous population in terms of catching coronavirus. Umpires?

Speaker 1 Believe it or not, Joe West might have some underlying health issues.

Speaker 1 But yes, umpires especially. I feel like coronavirus, and I don't understand coronavirus.
I don't think many people do, but I feel like coronavirus wouldn't be able to get past his neck.

Speaker 1 I think that's like a huge roadblock. Right.
It's like he's wearing a mask over his trachea all day. I agree.
So he's got like a natural protective layer that's in there.

Speaker 1 He is wearing a mask at all times. Yes, he has been.
And plus, he just wears it. That's what umpires do.
Just like like all you have to do is put some netting on there.

Speaker 1 But he said that he doesn't care.

Speaker 1 He's going to...

Speaker 1 go ahead and be a martyr and go down to Florida and say and say I'm going to be doing this Joe West is not scared of a little virus you can't keep him out of the stadiums so Joe West is is putting the entire major league baseball on his back this also might be another scare tactic by the MLB because I still think they just want to have the playoffs so they're like if we put Joe West on these games and the we're going to get more players that don't want to play until later.

Speaker 1 So that's another bargaining chip that we can use at the last second. Oh, you guys want to play games? Okay, well, you have to play them with Joe West.
Stay safe, Joe West. Please do.

Speaker 1 And my cool throne is going to be describing things in as boring terms as possible. It's another quote tweet thing that's going across the internet right now.
It's just like,

Speaker 1 name your favorite sport event

Speaker 1 in the history of the world. Oh, yeah, your favorite athlete.
Yeah, but describing it as boringly as possible.

Speaker 4 I just did one. I did one from PMT.
I was describe your favorite sports moment as boring as possible. I said, a blake answers the phone.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's pretty good.

Speaker 4 That's not his video, by the way, was one of the greatest things of all time. Ever.

Speaker 1 And there were some stay wokes, but he honestly,

Speaker 1 after he won it, he texted me. He said that he was doing a Red Bull promo.
Like, they were following him around that week, so it just worked out seamlessly. Incredible.
He's our Blake of the Year.

Speaker 1 Describe your least favorite sporting event of all time as boringly as possible.

Speaker 1 two doinks moving no moving

Speaker 1 moving up one spot

Speaker 1 to to take

Speaker 1 the far inferior player that's pretty good or you could just say every

Speaker 1 day since the 2017 nfl drive yeah Every day has been a living hell.

Speaker 1 I'm like the office space. Every day is worse than the day before.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yours is, I wish I didn't have a leg. Yes.

Speaker 1 All right. My hot seat is, I got two of them.
One is Future Me.

Speaker 1 I'm now the coach. Doug's is now the coach LSU.

Speaker 1 So.

Speaker 1 What happened to Wisconsin? They fucked Josh Waller. All my friends hate Joshua Waller.
Some dork named Joshua Waller got an extension. Are you talking about the video game? Yeah, the video game.

Speaker 1 I think it's Gary Anderson, which makes it even more annoying because he was such a shitty coach. I'm a better kicker than him.
Yeah. Yes.

Speaker 1 So I'm playing this morning at 8 a.m.

Speaker 4 doing a morning. Wednesday morning.
Wednesday morning.

Speaker 1 A morning stream. It's actually very fun because it's like only maybe a couple thousand people.
The chat moves a little slower. People are just kind of chilling.
We talk, we chat.

Speaker 1 Not the same everyone trolling me. But yeah, I'm at LSU.
I'm excited.

Speaker 1 And then my other hot seat is Darren Revelle because we totally forgot to do this, but our guy Jake Marsh has some Patrick Mahomes stats that no other podcast or Twitter feed has.

Speaker 1 Jake, please tell us.

Speaker 7 First, I need to address yesterday. I did a tweet about saying how many bottles of ketchup Mahomes can buy because he loves ketchup.
But I said it under Heinz.

Speaker 1 He has a deal with

Speaker 1 Hunts. He's a Huntsman, so I had to apologize.
I need to address that.

Speaker 1 Canceled. Yeah.
Imagine if Jake got canceled for using the wrong ketchup.

Speaker 4 Brand awareness. You're canceled Jake.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 you can't do that.

Speaker 7 With $503 million, you can buy $19,353,597.5 Kermit the Frog puppets on Amazon.com.

Speaker 1 Holy shit. Okay.

Speaker 7 $25.99 each.

Speaker 1 Okay. I feel like that should come with a bomb inside the crate if you order that many puppets.
Holy shit. Just like immediately drone double tap.
Okay. Okay.

Speaker 7 Mahomes was born in Tyler, Texas, and two years ago on March 24th, the Broadway Square Mall in Tyler, Texas had a Muppet Babies-themed playdate event, including Kermit the Frog.

Speaker 7 Oh, it's a little connected odds.

Speaker 1 Okay. We had a lot of fun.

Speaker 7 Yeah. As of May 8th, 2020, there were 503 million active internet users in India.
$503 million contract.

Speaker 1 Wow. Okay.
Same number. That's funny.
And finally, that's a lot of people.

Speaker 1 How many Indian people listened to part of my take?

Speaker 1 We should do a cricket segment. Tweet us.
We got to get in. We got to tap in.
Listen,

Speaker 1 we've tapped in to the gamer market.

Speaker 1 We've already strongly disavowed the Chinese market after the seven-dot line going around the South China section. Something LeBron would never do.

Speaker 1 Yeah, applause for us. Thank you, Billy.
We need to find a way to get into Indian iTunes. Do they have iTunes there? I mean, cricket is basically like,

Speaker 1 you thought baseball was boring. No, cricket.
Cricket. Cricket has adapted.
The crowd is like three days long. No, no, I watched a 10-minute video on cricket recently.

Speaker 1 They've adapted the game where now they have like a one-day long version of it. Again, that's exactly the point.
If you have to adapt the game, that means you're probably pretty boring. Yeah.

Speaker 4 360 degrees, though.

Speaker 1 I mean, that's cool. Yeah.
Yeah, it's like red zone for cricket. It's over in only 18 hours.
It's like cricket crack.

Speaker 7 And then finally, we've got a chain chain reaction little thing. So, $530 million is what the contract can go up to.
503 is the area code of Portland, Oregon.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 7 Portland is 1,798 miles away from Kansas City. And the year 1798 was when the first bank robbery in the United States happened.
Is that the Bank of Pennsylvania at Carpenter's Hall in Philadelphia?

Speaker 7 They stole $162,000 in $821.

Speaker 1 Holy shit. That sucks.
That's a lot of money. Yeah, they could only...
And that equals $503 million today?

Speaker 1 Just say that. No, say that in Touch.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Say that part. Say that part.
That's what I'm saying. It's like

Speaker 1 Lincoln's secretary was Kennedy and all that bullshit. Right, right.
Imagine being a bank robber in the

Speaker 1 late 1700s. The GOAT.
Sick, yeah. You don't even have...

Speaker 1 Bad bitches. But you don't even have presidents' masks to put on as disguises.
You just wear a George Washington mask.

Speaker 4 You didn't need one. You just roll up on your horse.

Speaker 4 There's no cameras.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I always think about that.

Speaker 4 Go to the next town. No one's going to find out.

Speaker 1 Like, if you're a criminal, like,

Speaker 1 when, what, at what point were you like, fuck, DNA evidence? Yeah. That changed the game.
That's true. Like, probably the mid-90s.
O.J. Simpson trial is really when it happened.

Speaker 1 You had to be like a world-class sucker before electronics to walk into a building and be like, here's all my money. Please look after it.
And then walk out of that building.

Speaker 1 Yes. So anyone that used a bank back in the 1700s deserved to get that shit.
But also, kind of more,

Speaker 1 probably a little bit more dangerous back then to rob banks because everyone had guns.

Speaker 1 So they could have just been like stop that man instead of someone just chasing you to tackle you they just shoot you but if they don't hit you on the first shot they have to have like five minutes

Speaker 1 if you walk into a whole cricket game if you have if you walk into a bank with a loaded gun you have like a five minute head start on everybody yeah just just make sure you zigzag yes exactly on the way out just like walk at a brisk pace you'll be fine uh all right oh my cool throne is uh

Speaker 1 Kanye West is going to be president. Maybe not, but eventually he probably will be.

Speaker 1 This is one of those ones where it's not going to be this year, but like if you don't think that we're on the way for a Kardashian being in the White House, you're not paying attention.

Speaker 1 That's going to happen. I actually do think that, I don't think it's going to be Kanye.
I would actually think that Kim has a better chance of being president than Kanye does. In like five, ten years,

Speaker 1 100%.

Speaker 1 What's that, Billy? Go ahead.

Speaker 1 Hot seat. Okay.
In relation to Kaze. Is it something we said last month? Nope.
Okay.

Speaker 6 Okay, hot seat serial killers or people who committed crimes from the 1900s because they're using ancestry.com to get previous DNA from like they got the Golden State killer recently.

Speaker 6 He just got convicted on DNA evidence.

Speaker 6 So in the same vein of what we're saying.

Speaker 1 Didn't Patton Oswald's wife track him down? Mm-hmm. I have no idea.
Okay. Yeah.
Did. Who? Crazy.
But yeah, so, okay, hot seat. Thank you for that interjection.
Mm-hmm. That was good.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 Good job. Yeah.
They're collecting all of our DNA. Sweet.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yours too. What do you think? You got a COVID test.
Mm-hmm. They have your DNA.
Oh, yeah. They have a chip inside your brain.
What are they going to do? Yeah, no, you're being tracked right now.

Speaker 1 Mm-hmm. Yeah.
You probably shouldn't be around us much more. Please leave.

Speaker 1 All right, let's get to Trevor Bauer. Before we do that, PFT, you got a quick ad.
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And now, here's Trevor Bauer.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on recurring guest, Cincinnati Reds starting pitcher, Trevor Bauer. He's got his momentum media company.

Speaker 1 You should go check it out, watchmomentum.com at watch underscore momentum on Twitter. They're doing some awesome new stuff with different players.
He's teaming up with Ken Griffey Jr.

Speaker 1 We wanted to have Trevor on because baseball is trying to come back, and you are always a very vocal person who says whatever they think, and we want to get to the bottom of it.

Speaker 1 So let's start there.

Speaker 1 How has the first week or so of being back gone, and are you confident that this is going to work? Yeah.

Speaker 5 Before we get into that, LSU shirt I see there, is that Joe Burrow?

Speaker 1 That's your boy? Yeah, that's our boy.

Speaker 1 My video game.

Speaker 1 We're LSU fans, but also my video game, I'm coaching LSU now. So yeah, I got it.
Yes. I love it.

Speaker 5 Yes. Joe Burrow, Cincinnati Bengals.
We're all excited here in Cincinnati to have him.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 5 Hopefully baseball is still going when they're coming back. And so I think it will be.

Speaker 5 The first week back has been pretty crazy with all the regulations and the testing, testing the procedures and stuff like that and we're getting tested uh every every other day now uh with a spit test which is i don't know do you guys know anything about the spit test no no no explain it

Speaker 5 so they give you this little packet and inside there's a vial and it's got a little like a funnel on it like you would like a protein funnel you'd pour protein into a water shaker or something

Speaker 5 you have to sit there and spit into it and it probably takes like five minutes to get enough spit to fill this thing up then you take the top off uh and you put a new top on with some liquid and you screw it on and mix the liquid and then deliver it to them.

Speaker 5 The problem is when you spit, there's like the bubbles on the spit is pretty graphic, right?

Speaker 5 But if the bubbles are, if there's too many bubbles, it gets like up into the little funnel.

Speaker 5 And so you have to take the funnel off and like scrape the spit bubbles off and then like put it back on and continue spinning. So it has to be solid saliva up to the line, but the line's pretty.

Speaker 5 So it gets kind of messy sometimes.

Speaker 5 So anyway, that's every other day. Every morning we fill out a survey.

Speaker 5 Have you had any of these symptoms? Have you been in contact with someone that potentially might have had this, that, or the other, whatever. So it's like 20 questions.

Speaker 5 And then we have our own thermometers that we have at the home. So we take our temperature twice, input those numbers.

Speaker 5 Yeah, in the mouth. You can put it wherever.
It's just a thermometer. You guys stick it somewhere.
So

Speaker 5 mouth, some people might choose somewhere else i don't know but uh

Speaker 5 yeah you do that and then i wake up at like 11 so i'm usually taking my readings about 11 30 and i pretty much go straight to the ballpark and then when you get to the ballpark you can't enter unless they take your temperature there so i'm basically i'm taking my temperature four times within the span of an hour and a half um then you got to wear a mask at all times indoors you don't have to wear one outdoors but i mean if you're in the training room get a massage at your locker eating you can't really wear it while you're eating but you're encouraged to wear it to the food room can't interact with the chefs uh So they have like pre-packaged meals.

Speaker 5 We have to order our meals in the morning and they like pre-package, they cook it and pre-package it for lunch, dinner, snacks, stuff like that.

Speaker 1 This is crazy. How long does it take you to find out after you submit one of those spit tests? How long until you find out whether or not you're positive?

Speaker 5 I don't know. I haven't heard any of my results back.
I'm assuming if I don't hear anything, I'm negative. Yeah.

Speaker 5 And if I do hear something,

Speaker 5 I'll probably hear it fairly quickly. I got to imagine they're turning them around.

Speaker 5 But I've heard some stuff about the testing facility being like overrun with tests and they're not being able to test guys or like not being able to run the results.

Speaker 5 And so some teams still haven't been able to complete their intake testing. So they're not even able to practice right now.
Jeez. It's a mess.

Speaker 1 How, so speaking of practice, how overall do you think the team is looking and talking to guys around the league? How are they feeling about the season starting in like three weeks?

Speaker 1 Are guys ready to go? Are they feeling like they are in shape to play start the season?

Speaker 5 It's such a mixed bag. It's uh,

Speaker 5 you got guys like myself who are ready to go like now, uh, start the season now, I'd be fine. You got guys that weren't able to do anything.

Speaker 5 I mean, if you lived in New York or Jersey or you know, even California, Los Angeles area, like you couldn't get to a gym, you couldn't lift, you really couldn't be outside and throw.

Speaker 5 So, you got guys that are ahead, you got guys that are behind. Hitters haven't seen live pitching.
And I mean, they saw, what, a week and a half of games in spring training, something like that.

Speaker 5 But basically, since last September, if you didn't make the playoffs, guys haven't seen live pitching. So some guys hit, some guys hit off a T, some guys didn't swing at all.
It's such a mixed bag.

Speaker 5 I have no idea. Our team specifically, we got a lot of guys that care a lot and that came in ready and were able to work out and throw and all that.
I know Sonny and Luis Castillo

Speaker 5 are ready to go. Michael Lorenzen is ready to go.

Speaker 5 And on the hitting side, Castianos took me deep about 550 yesterday. So he's clearly ready to go.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I saw that video that you put up on Twitter. It was like cut in and out with George W.
Bush saying the we won't get fooled again thing. Did you make that video yourself?

Speaker 1 Because I could actually see you sitting down at Final Cut Pro and like making your own memes, your own live-action memes.

Speaker 5 You nailed it to a T. I mean, the program, the look on my fit, everything.
Yes. Final Cut Pro, I made it myself.
Had a big meeting with my company with Momentum last night, three and a half hours.

Speaker 5 So while I was listening to everything going on, I was sitting there making a video and

Speaker 5 multitasking at its finest.

Speaker 1 That's awesome. So you talked about the spit test before.
I also read that baseball is banning spitting entirely, or they're trying to take spitting out of the game.

Speaker 1 Like you can't take spitting out of baseball.

Speaker 1 You played for Frank Kona for years. Like, you know, people are going to spit.
Dudes are going to spit and scratch themselves when they're in a baseball diamond.

Speaker 1 And I don't think that there's any rule that can really stop that.

Speaker 1 i'm interested to see how they try to enforce the rule is it going to be a fine is it going to be a warning and who's the guy that's going to be sitting there watching the video trying to like is that is he spitting right yeah right sky judge right maybe got a fly in his mouth yeah right what um how how if you could talk to your teammates i'm sure about

Speaker 1 the fact that you're not going to be playing in front of anyone. As of right now, it might change.
There might be more people that are allowed in the stadium.

Speaker 1 How do you think that's going to affect the game? And like from a pitching, from a batting standpoint? Like how is it going to affect everything?

Speaker 5 I think it's going to minimize the value of home field.

Speaker 5 Generally, like you get a lot of adrenaline and momentum when you're coming back in a game or when you're in a big situation and your home crowd's going crazy. So it's going to kind of level that out.

Speaker 5 I think it's going to weed out the people who are

Speaker 5 not weed out in a way, but people who are driven by the moment and people who are driven by the competition itself.

Speaker 5 The competition is going to be there. They're still hitter in the box.
Games still matter.

Speaker 5 So people people who are driven by that and being the best, you're going to see them play to their normal level.

Speaker 5 They're going to appear to play up a little bit this season because I think the overall level of the game might be a little bit less in some ways.

Speaker 5 But the guys that aren't driven by

Speaker 5 the competition as much as they are either the moment or the money

Speaker 5 probably don't have as much motivation this year. I mean, we've already seen some guys opting out for various reasons.
I'm sure some of it is due to the money side.

Speaker 5 So it's going to be interesting to see which players kind of rise and which ones kind of fall this year what about

Speaker 1 do you think it'll be easier to hear someone bang on a trash can this year with no fans in the crowd you would expect so

Speaker 5 I don't know if that's old or new technology I think there's new stuff

Speaker 5 you know it's hard to hear buzzing going on I'm not sure if that's a thing or not but

Speaker 1 I saw your shirt when you took a picture. You're still like you're I like it because the world has obviously changed drastically since spring training.

Speaker 1 There's a lot of important things going on, but you are, you are the torchbearer of I'm not forgetting about the Astros. I'm going to wear this shirt and troll them every single chance I get.

Speaker 1 I appreciate that.

Speaker 5 I don't know what you're talking about, man. I was just taking the picture, happy the baseball's back.
You know,

Speaker 5 yeah, I mean, we talked about the Black Sox scandal. What's that? 100 years ago? Yeah.

Speaker 5 So, I mean, might as well just make the Astros the next one.

Speaker 1 I agree. I think people do need to be reminded of it from time to time because like I miss I miss caring about slightly inconsequential shit, you know?

Speaker 1 Like there's so much serious stuff that's going on.

Speaker 1 In the grand scheme of things, like the Astros cheating, yeah, it sucks if you're a Yankees fan or Dodgers fan or if you play baseball against the Astros. But in the big picture, it's not that huge.

Speaker 1 But it feels good to get mad about that small stuff, you know? Honestly, yeah.

Speaker 5 I mean, with how ridiculous 2020 has been, I mean, we got a pandemic. We get selection year.
We got, I mean, Kobe, you know, passed away. Like, there's been a lot of of stuff.
George Floyd, obviously.

Speaker 5 There's so much serious, heavy stuff going on in the country.

Speaker 1 The TikTok stuff, I'm sure you're familiar. Yeah, huddy, little huddy got canceled.
Little huddy gate. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Making some fun of some things is much needed, I think, for everybody. And at this point, look, I mean, it is what it is.
It happened. Everyone's aware.
It's part of the culture now.

Speaker 5 And it's like, you know, making memes is like, it's like crying Jordan at this point. Like, you make an Astros meme every now and then.
It's funny. If you make them too often, it gets old.

Speaker 5 You got to space them out a little bit.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 was there a part of you that, even though

Speaker 1 you lost out on a lot of games, you lost out on a good amount of money this year by not playing games for the first couple of months of the season?

Speaker 1 Was it kind of cool just being like, Yeah, you know, this is some awesome time off that we're getting right now.

Speaker 1 Like, I'll take a couple months to relax, rejuvenate, you know, ease my way into the season?

Speaker 5 I went the opposite way.

Speaker 5 I looked at it like an offseason, so I basically just killed my body for three months.

Speaker 5 But I got a lot stronger, got a lot more powerful, added a mile an hour or so to my fastball, worked with my command.

Speaker 5 So yeah, I went that way. When I went all shut down, I was like, there's no way we're playing baseball before, I mean, maybe June at the absolute earliest, but probably July.

Speaker 5 Like, I got three months, something like that.

Speaker 5 Let me try to get better. So I tried to use it for improvement.
I know some guys looked at it and like, man, I don't have any motivation. I'm going to go fish.

Speaker 5 I'm going to go spend time with my family. I'm going to go hang out on my boat or whatever it is.
But my hobby is like getting better and

Speaker 5 researching stuff. I'm a nerd.
So I was in the gym or

Speaker 1 researching. So

Speaker 1 in the attempts to bring baseball back, it was obviously very much publicized. The fight between the players, the MLBPA and the owners.

Speaker 1 You were very vocal about it.

Speaker 1 Do you think there's going to be any residual, I mean, there's going to be contracts, you know, the new CBA next year, but is there residual, can you feel it, anger about how the owners handled everything and how they tried to put it on the players when in reality, they just were trying to get the cheapest deal possible?

Speaker 5 Look, it's hard to blame either side. I mean, it's very easy to blame both sides.
Like, you can look at it a couple different ways. On the owner side,

Speaker 5 you would look at it like if anyone was running a business, they would want to find a way to make, not lose money. If they lose money, they don't have a business.
They can't employ their employees.

Speaker 5 They can't operate stuff like that. So save the bottom line seems to make sense.
And best way to do that when you're not making as much money is to cut costs.

Speaker 5 So I understand it from the business side. On the player side, like we don't sign a per game amount.
We don't sign a pro-rated contract.

Speaker 5 We sign like if I play this year, or once I sign this contract, I'm making X amount this year. So if I get hurt in spring training and I play zero games, I still make that amount.

Speaker 5 Right or wrong, that's what the contracts are. So on the player's side, it's like I can see why the players would be upset about not getting their amount of money or at least a pro-rated amount.

Speaker 5 Like you shouldn't make less per game than you would have normally.

Speaker 5 So I can see it from the player's side. I can see it from the owner's side.

Speaker 5 Where everyone messed up is that the first thing that the owners did was make it a public fight.

Speaker 5 I don't know any other business that would intentionally pit

Speaker 5 their customer base, which is the fans, against their product, which is... the players on the field.

Speaker 5 But that seems to be the decision that was made. Now, from a negotiating standpoint and pressuring and trying to get the best deal and all that, it makes sense in a way.

Speaker 5 The problem is it's very short-sighted. It's about getting the best deal this year and doing irreparable damage to the sport.

Speaker 5 There's going to be a lot of people that just won't watch baseball for the next X amount of years because they're so mad at the sport for arguing about money in a time when 45 million Americans, I don't know what the current number is, but upwards of 40 million Americans are unemployed.

Speaker 5 Stimulus checks aren't going out on time. You have racial unrest going on in the country, civil unrest, like all this serious stuff like we talked about earlier is going on.

Speaker 5 And then you have millionaires and billionaires fighting in the public about who's going to get more money or less money or whatever.

Speaker 5 All these things are going to have to be done behind closed doors anyway. That's where they should have remained.

Speaker 5 And then from the very jump, that just got put in the public sphere, which is the wrong thing to do.

Speaker 1 It just occurred to me that with no fans in the stands this year, nobody's going to be there to boo when a pitcher tries to throw to first base like more than once in a row.

Speaker 1 You know, like that, that always cracks me up when fans do that.

Speaker 1 Does that ever get into your head if you like throw over to first base maybe twice and they start to boo and you're like, oh shit, I better not do it again.

Speaker 5 They're really going to to let me have it not mine but i do know some pitchers who get the yips on throwing to first so like they'll come set and they can't they freak out and they pick over and then they're like thinking about well i didn't mean to pick over i just did that why'd i do that and then they do it again and again and i've seen guys pick over like six or seven times in a row not because they want to just because they have the yips and then the pitching coach has to call timeout and come out there and talk to him to like to break the to break it up yeah so we'll we'll see how that happens it doesn't bother me i i don't mind making people mad i think you guys

Speaker 1 yes no that is absolutely true actually kind of why we like yeah the um so

Speaker 1 everyone's talking about how the games are going to be played in terms of managers probably having a shorter leash on their starting pitching because of 60 games bigger uh rosters have you had that conversation yet do you fully expect it because knowing you trevor you don't like being pulled out of games is that fair to say so are what's what's Trevor Bauer going to be thinking if he gets pulled after five innings because it's a do-or-die game, game 35, and you're like, I shouldn't be pulled.

Speaker 1 I still got stuff left.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I mean, the competitor in me in the moment is going to be mad.

Speaker 5 Anytime I have the ball in my hand, I feel like I'm the best option to win for the team to win. I think every competitor feels that way, you know.

Speaker 5 So in the moment, the competitive juice is going to be flowing, and I'm going to be upset about it, but

Speaker 5 remove me about half an hour or 45 minutes from the game and I'll probably be in there like hey I only threw 78 pitches today so can I pitch in two days can I come out of the pen can I like let me get back out there and pitch so I think 60 games every game is 2.7 times as important I think that's what the math works out to and

Speaker 5 so higher stakes every time I take them out it's worth basically three games or what would be three games yeah which course of a five-man rotation is two weeks.

Speaker 5 So it's like, you know, you start thinking about like that, and it's so much more important.

Speaker 5 We're blessed with the Reds to have a lot of really good talent, a really deep bullpen, a really deep starting staff, a lot of guys that can, you know,

Speaker 5 get hitters out at a very high clip. So basically anyone we throw out there is going to be able to get the job done.
And ultimately,

Speaker 5 I want to play in the postseason. So

Speaker 5 whoever gives the team the best chance to win, whether it's me or not me, that's what I want.

Speaker 1 Have you had a conversation with Dave Bell where you're like, hey, man, like, if you come out or your pitching coach, like, if you come out, like, I'm probably going to be an asshole.

Speaker 1 Like, give me a minute, like, give a safe word. Or is it like, hey, if I turn a little bit to center field, just know to leave me alone because I'm about to launch one if you go even further.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I think that should be it. It's like, no safe word, because if there's a safe word, he's too close.
He's going to have to, you know, I guess no fans, you could yell it. Yeah.

Speaker 5 A safe word is like a, it's close thing, you know, and by the time he's already out of the mound, he's taking the ball.

Speaker 5 So maybe it's like, hey, if I see you coming out and I turn my back, just go back to the dugout. Just let me be.

Speaker 1 I love when pitchers, has that happened to you where you've yelled at a manager and he's gone back no because uh tito realized really early on that as soon as he stepped out of the dugout he like made the moves with the umpire so no matter how much i pitched and moaned he couldn't actually change smart that's really smart yeah that is a good moment though when the manager says okay and for some reason whenever it happens i feel like the pitcher always gets the guy out yeah it's just like uh i'm i'm the boss here let me have this it's just one of those like alpha modes so tito knew that he uh he couldn't do that dave bell's got to be ready for that yeah I mean the one time that I can think of that it didn't work was Matt Harvey but it wasn't during an inning right it's after after the eighth inning yes and I you know

Speaker 5 but anyway that's a that's a whole nother story but yeah

Speaker 5 I'll probably have that conversation I've talked to David quite a bit about a lot of different things during this time so that one really hasn't come up I do know that you know great american is a little bit shorter to center field than kaufman stadium is and the ball flies a little bit better so that restaurant out there uh is definitely within striking range he's calling your name.

Speaker 5 But,

Speaker 5 you know, I'm not above putting one on top of the steamboat out there.

Speaker 1 I love the idea of you just sitting down with your manager and being like, all right, first of all, I can be kind of a dick.

Speaker 1 Like, just see it. Like, okay, let's get it all out there.

Speaker 5 Usually it doesn't take a meeting to figure that one out.

Speaker 1 It's true. It's true.
I do like the idea of them naming like a little part of the restaurant out there after you, like they did with Big Mac Land in St. Louis.

Speaker 1 Like the dead center, if Trevor can hit a call, I don't know, like the Bower Alley or something like that, and just

Speaker 5 come up with a cool name, but uh, I mean, there's been all sorts of ones in baseball history. You got the King's Court in Seattle, you know, it's a cool like running on King Felix.

Speaker 5 You got the Flotilla Padilla or the Padilla Flotilla, I don't remember which one it was, but there's all sorts of different cool names. You got the

Speaker 5 roll call. What do they call the Yankees? The roll call, there's a bleacher creatures, maybe is

Speaker 1 where Mickey Man only got a blowjob. Yeah, yeah, no, yeah, the Bronx is burning.
There you go, boom, got it. The bleacher bomb is wriggly.
Bleacher Creatures, maybe?

Speaker 1 Bleacher creatures. Creatures.
Okay, yeah, so you're right.

Speaker 1 Have you been doing any more of the brain stimulation stuff?

Speaker 5 Yes, I wore it actually yesterday. I pitched yesterday.
I wore it.

Speaker 5 The first time I hadn't worn it in like three months, so it was a little bit, I don't want to say rusty, but the machine hadn't been used in a while.

Speaker 5 And so I put it on, and the first like two seconds I was wearing it, I got this really bright white flash.

Speaker 5 and a little bit of pain up on my uh up on my head i'm like that's probably not good i probably shouldn't be feeling pain in my brain from the electric simulation simulation.

Speaker 5 So I took it off, figured out what was wrong, and then everything went smoothly.

Speaker 1 How did you figure out what was wrong with your electronic brain simulating device?

Speaker 5 Well, it came back to my education as an engineer. I'm like, well, there's only one thing that could be wrong that is fixable, and that's I didn't plug the cord in all the way.

Speaker 5 So I checked that, and I didn't have the cord plugged in all the way. But any other problem would have been a short, or the machine would have been broken, and I wouldn't have been able to use it.

Speaker 5 So I was hoping it was my stupidity, and it was.

Speaker 1 You're dangerously close to being like, to just like having the entire corner of dumb baseball injuries. You got the drone injury.

Speaker 1 If you like go on the DL because you electrocuted yourself with a fucking, I don't know, like a head scratcher, you realize that you would be the goat, right?

Speaker 5 I, you know, I got to be the goat at something by the time I'm done. So if that's my calling, I'm fine with it.
I gotta, I got plenty of other dumb things that I could do too.

Speaker 1 So have you been droning?

Speaker 5 I have not droned, actually.

Speaker 5 I've been so busy with business and in the gym that I haven't droned much.

Speaker 5 But I've been enjoying the media stuff and spiking my YouTube channel and

Speaker 1 nice. Very good.
Very good. Have you noticed, like, after having these couple months to work on some things that maybe you wouldn't have had time to work on before, is spin rate changing?

Speaker 1 Have you increased? What pitch has improved the most for you over the last two months?

Speaker 5 Man, my fastball's gotten faster. All my pitches are spinning a lot faster now.
I can't explain it. You know, it must be a contract year thing.

Speaker 1 You're further south.

Speaker 5 I could be for maybe it's more humid,

Speaker 5 you know, closer to

Speaker 5 a certain city, maybe.

Speaker 1 Closer to Houston, yeah. Yep, yep, yep.

Speaker 5 I don't know. We'll see what it we'll see what it turns out to be.

Speaker 5 Yeah, the fastball's gotten faster. My changeup's actually gotten quite a bit better.
So I'm excited to see how that plays this season.

Speaker 1 So my last question, we had Scott Boris on last week or two weeks ago, and you went at him on Twitter and we asked him about it.

Speaker 1 He responded that he didn't even know that that you had gone at him for a couple days. He kind of pled ignorance.
Do you believe that or do you think he knew right away?

Speaker 5 Oh, it was interesting how all of a sudden I, you know, about five minutes after I got calls from multiple Boris clients.

Speaker 5 I got, you know, multiple Boris clients on Twitter trying to come after me and for all sorts of different reasons.

Speaker 5 I was getting random burner accounts that were located in Santa Monica

Speaker 5 just conveniently in Santa Monica. So tweeting at me, accounts that were made literally the day, like that day.

Speaker 1 I like this.

Speaker 5 So it's

Speaker 5 complete ignorance, all he wants.

Speaker 5 Ultimately, no one's going to know for sure, but we can all have our opinions.

Speaker 1 Oh, I like this Trevor Bauer versus Scott Boris feud. Let's get it going.
Let's get you guys on the same show. Would you talk to him? I wouldn't even shit in his bathroom.
Yeah. It's true.

Speaker 1 Would you talk to him? Like, if we, well, I guess you can't, or he couldn't, right? Because he's not a client. You're not his client.

Speaker 5 Oh, well, I mean, he's broken that rule, plenty.

Speaker 1 He's been

Speaker 5 recruiting all sorts of clients and lying to them and paying them. Supposedly, this is all supposedly.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 But, you know, making all sorts of ridiculous claims about, you know, all the agencies are going to fail with COVID and I'm going to be the only one left.

Speaker 5 And it doesn't matter which agency you're actually with. I run the union anyway, so you're going to have to deal with me.
And,

Speaker 5 you know, rumors about paying players to, which is illegal. And I think there's potentially some

Speaker 5 uh lawsuits coming. I don't know.
Could we get

Speaker 1 like, yeah, could we build a bridge here? Yeah, if we had him on it, let's say we were like, hey, we're gonna do a podcast with both of you on you. You think who would say no first?

Speaker 1 You think he would?

Speaker 5 Yeah, you would say yes.

Speaker 1 You think I'm scared? I don't know. I mean,

Speaker 1 he is kind of like Darth Vader challenging Scott Boris to a debate of opinions. And I also don't know if you know, but he runs a union.

Speaker 5 Yeah,

Speaker 5 I'm not above getting my hand chopped off in a lightsaber duel. That would go in the dumb things.

Speaker 1 True.

Speaker 5 I would monopolize that portion of the internet. So I love that.

Speaker 1 That's true. There's one other feud that you've been into recently.
I think this went back to like July 1st or the end of June.

Speaker 1 You've been going back and forth with Kurt Schilling, a Take Ease Award presenter. Kurt Schilling's.
You've been calling him Butt Kurt. And I didn't know if you knew this, but like

Speaker 1 Skirt Schilling was right there. And Kurt Schitting was right there.
But you went with Butt Kurt. Can you walk us through the decision to go with Butt Kurt? Butt Kurt.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 he seemed a little bit butthurt online.

Speaker 5 He was coming at me.

Speaker 5 And

Speaker 5 he seemed a little bit salty.

Speaker 5 I don't know exactly why. I didn't go after him.
I didn't go out into his little corner of the internet. He came out of his corner to come onto my corner of the internet.

Speaker 5 And, you know, I'm pretty well known. in the internet circles for defending my my area, my territory.
I don't go after anybody necessarily.

Speaker 5 Very rarely do I pick a fight, but I will fire back if you come at me. So, you know, starts saying stuff about my stats and my character about not caring about winning and all this ridiculous stuff.

Speaker 5 So, I just, I thought it was funny, you know, all these old baseball players that can't handle the fact that their careers are done and it's not their time anymore.

Speaker 5 So, I went with Butt Kurt, and then he wanted to talk about numbers. So, I figured we could talk about 75 million or 115 million or whatever the zero number that's left in his account.

Speaker 5 We can talk about that.

Speaker 5 And everyone's saying, oh, you can't have an opinion because Kurt Schelling is so much better of a pitcher than you are and all this different stuff.

Speaker 5 And Kurt has this thing about shitting on advanced stats. So

Speaker 5 I thought it was fun to position him in a way where I'm better than him with certain regular stats at this point in my career

Speaker 5 through 28 years old. And he could easily make the case.
that he's better than me through 28 if he used advanced stats.

Speaker 5 So I find it really fun to just position him in that position where like you're either worse than me or you have to admit that advanced stats matter. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That was fun for me.

Speaker 1 You would enjoy. We've had him on the show a few years ago and we just put him on fake hold for like 10 minutes.

Speaker 1 We don't have a hold. It's a podcast.
So we just kept on bouncing him around being like, oh, sorry, you got the wrong number. Let me transfer you upstairs.

Speaker 1 And it's like we were just sitting right there. He was just going back and forth across the table.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 People I argue with on the internet, I don't have anything against them. It's like it's a chess match for me, it's like a battle of whip.

Speaker 5 You know, who can get the better meme, who can get the better diss, whatever. And if I want to, yeah, I would do a podcast with Kurt, or I would do it, like, we could talk it out.

Speaker 5 I may not agree with everything he says, I may not agree with Aubrey Huff or Scott Boris on everything, but like I can have a civil conversation. We can talk about the issues.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's like the iced T tweet where he's like, I go, I log on to Twitter, I talk some shit, and then I log off. Yeah, that's it.
It's a perfect way to do it. That's the way to do it.

Speaker 5 When I'm not competing, when I'm not on the field, I can't talk shit. Like, I'm not talking shit to my parents or my friends, you know?

Speaker 1 Ah, you definitely talk shit to your dad.

Speaker 5 I do. That's fair, but not in the volume

Speaker 5 that I do during the season. When I'm there in the clubhouse during the season, there's 30 other guys around that

Speaker 5 I can pick on someone new every day.

Speaker 5 I get made fun of plenty too. But

Speaker 5 when we're not in that environment, I get the itch sometimes. So I just some

Speaker 5 troll that said something stupid and I fire back.

Speaker 1 All right. Well, Trevor, thank you so much.
We appreciate you joining us. Everyone, follow him on Twitter.
And like I said, he's got Movement Media, which is doing some awesome stuff.

Speaker 1 You got to check him out. He's partnering with Ken Griffey Jr.

Speaker 1 And they're doing, you have a, is it just

Speaker 1 for the YouTube page where people could say watch

Speaker 1 momentum. I screwed that up.
Momentum media.

Speaker 5 It's momentum on YouTube. It's watch-momentum on most socials.
Watch underscore momentum as well.

Speaker 5 You can find me, BowerOutage, on all the socials, and it's all linked in my bios if that's easier, too. Yes.

Speaker 1 Okay, awesome. Well, thank you, man.
We appreciate it. I would say best of luck, but I'm a Cubs fan, so I hope that you suck this year really bad.

Speaker 5 Oh, I hope I'm just really good against the Cubs, and we can talk after the season.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Oh, like that time that you cut your finger off in the drone right before the World Series?

Speaker 5 Yeah, I'll take a redo.

Speaker 1 All right, man. Have a good one.

Speaker 5 All right. See you guys.
Thanks for having me on.

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Speaker 1 Okay, let's get some segments. First up, we have a PR 101 for Deshaun Jackson.

Speaker 1 Whew!

Speaker 1 I'm going to say this. Just as it happens,

Speaker 1 just as a rule,

Speaker 1 if you're ever going to post something that starts with Hitler said,

Speaker 1 not a great idea. Usually a real easy way to bow out of posting whatever that is.
Just click the X button on Internet Explorer. Maybe if it's Hitler said, where's pass me my cyanide? Even that,

Speaker 1 probably,

Speaker 1 probably just avoid the H-Man altogether.

Speaker 1 And then he went on to apologize for it and say, I didn't realize what that quote from Adolf Hitler meant. Yes.

Speaker 1 I think you don't have to get into really the nuance of this to understand that you should not be posting anything by Adolf Hitler on social media. Yes.
That's just a great rule of thumb.

Speaker 1 And I think he also went with a little defense, like, I'm not anti-Semitic. I actually was trying to quote Louis Farrakhan, which is like, oh, okay, another notable anti-Semite.

Speaker 1 Not putting down that shovel just yet.

Speaker 1 The world just really went downhill in general when we started letting wide receivers wear numbers in the teens. I like it.

Speaker 1 Well, it's all the Chiefs. You know, here's the deal.

Speaker 1 It's very confusing watching the Teams. I like it because it's like, oh, that guy's fast.
I like it. But

Speaker 1 the numbers go into the teens. Next thing you know, you got Riley Cooper.
You got Deshaun Jackson. Julian Edelman's probably going to just ask to be able to play shirtless during games next year.

Speaker 1 It's a very slippery slope. That's all I'm saying.
Odello PR101 for for Deshaun Jackson. Odell Beckham counterfeited money and handed it out to players at LSU.
True. True.

Speaker 1 Just nothing really great comes from having teens.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so yeah, Deshaun Jackson, you're kind of out on your own there, dude. Whoops.
Oops. Whoops.

Speaker 1 All right, just tweet the I'm Snacking Girl.

Speaker 1 There you go. Just try to bury it.
I did that today when someone was posting a picture of my breasts. Just bury it with I'm Snacking.
Did it work? Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Just started the conversation.

Speaker 1 The picture of your breasts is off the internet now. Correct.
Deleted. Okay, let's get to our our Mount Rushmore.
This one is going to be a doozy. I'm very excited for this one.

Speaker 1 So, the Redskins name change has been in the news, and it was brought to the attention that Daniel Snyder, in his Infinite Wisdom, at one point tried to argue that the trademark, the U.S.

Speaker 1 trademark, U.S. Patent and Trademark Office, was using arbitrary terms on what was offensive or not.
So they filed a legal brief

Speaker 1 that here's what it was. It was the Washington NFL team is once again appealing the cancellation of their Washington Redskins trademark, this time using the defense that the U.S.

Speaker 1 Patent and Trademark Office has fostered arbitrary enforcement since it has granted trademarks to other names the team believes are racist or misogynistic, vulgar, or otherwise offensive.

Speaker 1 So they then listed a bunch of trademarks of offensive names of companies. And this was Lindsey Gibbs tweeted this out, this list.

Speaker 1 We're going to do a Mount Rushmore of these companies because they're fucking ridiculous and hilarious that anyone would actually come up with a company like this.

Speaker 1 So, we're going to do that Mount Rushmore. The thing is, Snyder ended up not being wrong about that.
What? Like, they agreed with him that, yeah,

Speaker 1 we can't say that the Red Seas is too offensive to be trademarked.

Speaker 1 If we have hot octopus anti-premiums,

Speaker 1 don't ruin the Mount Rushmore. Okay.

Speaker 1 All right, so let's do it. We're going to do the Mount Rushmore of offensive or no, yeah, Mount Rushmore of offensive trademarks that Dan Snyder tried to use to defend the Redskins.

Speaker 1 And Billy's also going to do a Mount Rushmore of Cutest Animals, so you're going to be in the draft, Billy. You're going to be picking fourth.
Hank, you want to go first, then PFT, then myself?

Speaker 4 Sure. My number one pick,

Speaker 4 I just based it on terms of the ones that made me laugh the hardest the first time I went through.

Speaker 1 Correct.

Speaker 4 Boys are stupid, throw rocks at them wallets.

Speaker 1 That's pretty good. I like that.
I like that.

Speaker 1 That was on my list as well. Uh-huh.
This is an easy number one for me. Dick Balls.
Dick Balls apparel.

Speaker 4 Why wallets, too? That's what, like, where.

Speaker 1 Yeah, what were someone who clearly mad?

Speaker 4 Someone clearly got broken up with or something bad happened. They're like, I'm going to start a company to spite men.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 4 Let's get them where it counts. Wallets.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 Okay, I'll do.

Speaker 1 Which one did you pick, BFD? I picked Dick Balls. I like the ones that are

Speaker 1 very

Speaker 1 just like, hey, here's what we are. We're not hiding it.
So my first pick will be

Speaker 1 party with sluts apparel. Just pretty much straight to the point.
Hey, you're a dude. You want to party with sluts? Here's some fucking clothes for you.

Speaker 1 How much equity did Rob Ronkowski give to his brothers when they came up with that idea? Party with sluts apparel. Fuck, man.
I can't believe someone came up with that.

Speaker 1 Okay, Billy, your first and second cutest animals. First one up, teacup pigs.
Oh, they are so cute. Nice.
Have you ever seen a picture of a teacup pig licking an ice cream cone? It's the best.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's good. Okay.

Speaker 6 My second pick is pygmy, African pygmy hedgehogs.

Speaker 6 Those are the ones you always see online.

Speaker 1 They're like

Speaker 1 they fit in your hands. Yes.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 Okay, yeah, that's good. That's good.
That's good.

Speaker 1 We'll come back to you. Okay, we're going to come back to you.

Speaker 1 So sticking with, I'm going to go heavy on apparel, a lot of apparel companies on this, but another one that's just straight into the point, exactly what you want, I'll go with, I love vagina apparel.

Speaker 1 So just really letting you know

Speaker 1 this is what we do here. Wait, is it I love vagina apparel or is it I love and it's apparel for your vagina? No, it's I love vagina apparel.
Oh, it's not like I love Merkin's.

Speaker 1 No, no, it's Merkins France. It's apparel for us.
We love vagina. Okay.
Boom.

Speaker 1 For dudes. Yes, exactly.
We're really hammering this home. If you're a dude that likes to fuck, I got both apparel companies for you.

Speaker 1 They must have sold so many bumper stickers to dudes that drove Honda Civic SIs. Fuck.
I love vagina. Okay.
Apparel.

Speaker 1 For my second, I'm going to go with

Speaker 1 Retardipedia.

Speaker 1 Retardipedia.

Speaker 1 Just, I can't believe that's an. I can't say that word.
I can't believe that that's an actual company. How, like, I actually, I literally can't believe that that's a company.
So it's a website.

Speaker 1 It's a website. It's probably a knockoff on Wikipedia.
I'm going to actually.

Speaker 1 I'm going to go there right now. What an outrageous, outrageous.
Like, how high or

Speaker 1 yeah, how high were you when you came up with that, guys? Like, I imagine that's like the okay, so it has nothing to do with people who are mentally challenged whatsoever, besides the outlandish name.

Speaker 1 It's just it's looks like a collection of people that have done stupid things. Oh my god, okay, that's a hell of a hell of an idea.

Speaker 1 But it's very nice, you know, this is how they probably got that approved. It says what retardopedia is not, it's not associated with wikipedia.org.
It's not associated anyway.

Speaker 1 So, disambiguation right there. In case you were wondering,

Speaker 1 it's not a sister site. Yes.
All right, Hank, you're next two.

Speaker 4 There's a lot of good ones: Edible, crushless, gummy panties, lingerie, lingerie.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 4 And MILF weed bags.

Speaker 1 Ah, I'm not sure.

Speaker 4 Those are two where it's like the guys were like.

Speaker 1 MILF weed bags is so good.

Speaker 1 Wait, is it again the same question? Is it MILF weed weed and it's bags? Or is it bags?

Speaker 4 I was thinking weed bags with various MILFs from Pokemon Hub on them. Yeah.

Speaker 4 And it's like a collection. Like Pokemon got to collect them all.
You want to get all the MILFs.

Speaker 1 MILF weed bags. Yeah, I was thinking it was like

Speaker 1 something that could easily fit. a quarter pound or an ounce of something, whatever product that you wanted, and it was just labeled as MILF.

Speaker 1 It's such a genius marketing. Like, what can we corner? How about the guys who smoke too much and get really horny MILF weed bags? What do you think about when you're super high? MILFs.

Speaker 1 I just did a Google search of MILF weed bags and did the images, and there's a shirt on Etsy that's

Speaker 1 high MILFs matter.

Speaker 1 I love it. I need to interview someone.

Speaker 1 Hank is correct. All MILFs matter.

Speaker 1 Listen,

Speaker 1 I'm shocked that Spencer Gifts didn't buy all those shirts the second they hit Etsy. Man, MILFs.
Okay. Wow.
All right, go ahead. All right.
My next pick

Speaker 1 is going to be.

Speaker 1 There are just so many really good ones on here.

Speaker 1 I'm going to go with

Speaker 1 Slut Seeker. Ooh, okay.

Speaker 1 Slut Seeker Dating Services. So you can imagine probably what that.
Very to the point. Fuck.
What? I should have done a different one. Oh.
Hopefully, it'll still be a good one. Which one?

Speaker 1 Which one do you want to do? I'm not going to tell you because you'll choose it. Which one do you want to do? Go ahead.
You can say it. I won't say it.
No, you're going to to take it. I won't say it.

Speaker 1 You go.

Speaker 1 Okay, my next one. I'm going to go into the underwear department.
Very simple. Jizz underwear.
God damn it.

Speaker 1 Jizz. Jiz underwear.

Speaker 1 Do you like jizzing in your underwear? Well, we got the underwear for you. Jizz underwear.

Speaker 1 Do you think that that specific product is going after like dudes who have wet dreams like late into their 40s?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think it's just like it's milky white colored underwear so that you can't get caught if you nut it. It's got a little basket ready to go.

Speaker 1 You don't even have to wake up and change your underwear. You don't want underwear.
You don't want Google Jizz underwear. Okay, I wasn't going to.

Speaker 1 Nope, nope. Nope.

Speaker 1 Billy, your last two cute animals, cutest animals alive.

Speaker 6 Pygmy marmosets.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 6 Those are the little monkeys that you see always wrapped around someone's finger.

Speaker 1 Oh, they're so cute. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Good call.

Speaker 6 And then, last but not least, a classic?

Speaker 1 Puppies. Puppies.
I was going to be mad if you didn't do puppies. No choice.
I I was going to be mad if you didn't do puppies.

Speaker 1 Big time. Okay.

Speaker 1 My last pick. Pygmy Marmosets are so cute.
So cute.

Speaker 1 Probably a little bit of a theme here, but

Speaker 1 there's kind of a theme on all these. I'll go with Big Titty Blend Coffee.

Speaker 1 Just like, hey. I mean, if you're going to promise me big titties with my coffee, in and in and in.
I would definitely. What about Bubonic Plague?

Speaker 4 I think that should have been, you know, like a creamy

Speaker 1 instead of a coffee. Yeah, fuck.
I bet you. That's smart.
Damn, Hank. That's really smart.
Big Titty Creamer. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 Big Titty Creamer. Yeah, it's a separate brand entirely, but maybe a subset of Jizz Underwear.
I also appreciate it. I don't think any of you guys are going to pick this one, but Dumb Blonde Beer.

Speaker 1 I appreciate that Big Titty Blend coffee doesn't tell us. It could be any hair color.

Speaker 1 It's just all that matters is the big tits. I think they have different flavors of the coffee.
Yes.

Speaker 1 It really lets you explore. All right, your last pick.
My last one is going to be Twatty Girl cartoons. Okay.
Twatty girl.

Speaker 1 Twat is an underrated word, I think, in terms of what we think of, we think of British people cussing all the time. We just think of them dropping the hard C-bomb.
Yeah. But they love saying TWAT.

Speaker 1 Yes. Twat, it slaps different.
Yes.

Speaker 1 There's one that's really good that's out there still.

Speaker 4 Thug porn? Nope. That's my last one.
Okay.

Speaker 1 That's your last one. All right.

Speaker 4 Like thinking of that being a category on Pornhub is like someone who's like, like, they typed in, like, how is this not a thing?

Speaker 1 Like, yeah, like, oh man, we found a yeah, we found a fucking glitch in the system here. I was thinking of uh reformed whores musical bands.
Is that a managed?

Speaker 1 It's a band, I think it's got to be a band, a reformed whores. Okay, what about uh, crippled old biker bastards?

Speaker 1 It doesn't doesn't actually say what that is, white girl with a booty apparel, that's just juicy, uh-huh, right? Like,

Speaker 1 that's babe, or bebe. That's babe, that's what it is.
Bebe. Yeah, these.

Speaker 1 God, I just imagine some dude who.

Speaker 4 I imagine Dan Sender being like, yes, fine.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Good.
Like, we're good. Not only that.
Don't worry.

Speaker 4 Like, don't worry. They probably had people worrying about the name.
Like, you guys can stop working.

Speaker 1 Not only that. We're good.
But think about

Speaker 1 the man or woman who graduated top of their class, Harvard Law, and this came across their desk. They're like, we're going to have to have you go and find the most offensive brands out there.

Speaker 1 It's like, this is what I went to law school for to go and find,

Speaker 1 you know, slut-seeker dating services. Okay.
I actually think that what happened was Dan Snyder was like, I can't believe they rejected the name Redskins.

Speaker 1 Vinny Serato, off the top of your head, can you think of some other names?

Speaker 1 And Vinny was just like, hot octopus, anti-premature ejaculation creams, old geezer wines, ghetto booty, bound gangbang, shank the bitch board game, crackass skateboards, anal fantasy collection, clitoris, sex toys.

Speaker 1 Okay, thanks, thanks, Vinny. That'll be enough.
Hot octopus anti-premature ejaculation didn't. No one picked that, right? I should have.
That was a good one. Also,

Speaker 1 there's a list. They're all offensive, except for MILFSDoPorn.com is not offensive.
That is a great website, I'm sure. It's also just

Speaker 1 a fact. Right.
They do do porn.

Speaker 1 All right. That's our Mount Rushmore.
That's going to look so fucking funny with Billy's cute animals next to it. Make your own dildo.
That's a good one.

Speaker 1 We'll make sure that we get the phrasing right there, Bubba, so that people know that we weren't just coming up with that. Yes, I actually don't like this one.
Take panties off clothing.

Speaker 1 I don't like that at all. Right, it's like, why would you buy the panties? It's terrible.
It's telling you not to buy these clothes.

Speaker 4 Well, no, maybe if a guy's wearing that and a girl's like, I like your shirt.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, yeah. Dude walks up and

Speaker 1 he's wearing like a Letterman jacket that says take your panties off and the girl just immediately

Speaker 1 needs to mop it with her because she's just spraying all over the place. Let's go.
Yeah, let's do it. Booty call sex aids.
What the fuck?

Speaker 1 Oh my god. All right.
So You should just never sell anything

Speaker 1 called sex aids. Yes.
Yeah, that's true. The sexual assistants.

Speaker 1 All right, let's go do Guys on Chicks before we do that. Piety, you had one more ad? Yes, we have a special ad read.

Speaker 1 It is from CBDMD, and they want Billy to get practice doing a Mount Rushmore so that one day he can get called up to the big leagues and do an actual Mount Rushmore instead of sitting at the kids' table.

Speaker 1 So, Billy, what is the Mount Rushmore they want you to do?

Speaker 6 They would like me to do a Mount Rushmore of Daily BS.

Speaker 6 So I've made a list. My first Mount Rushmore of Daily BS is waking up sore from Squat Mageddon the day before, where you just can't get out of bed because your legs are just destroyed.

Speaker 4 Okay. So you do legs every day?

Speaker 1 Well, I do a lot of legs. Legs feed the wolves.
What about Squat Tober?

Speaker 1 Squat Tober? That's all. Oh, you don't even know about Squat.
You're not really a legs guy.

Speaker 6 Getting all sweaty, running to the store for Big Cat and PFTs, snacks, and beverages. That's another daily grind.
I'm in this tiny studio, just sweaty. It gets real smelly.

Speaker 1 What are the snacks?

Speaker 4 Well, you're actually also the only one that works out in here.

Speaker 6 Oh, yeah, that is true.

Speaker 1 It gets smelly in here. Yeah, I can tell when Billy's been working out.

Speaker 1 It smells like

Speaker 1 what's the fertility stuff?

Speaker 1 Chlamyd. Axe.
There you go. Axe, yeah.
It makes you super potent.

Speaker 6 PFT's favorite snack is Reese's Pieces and Big Cats is Sour Patch Watermelon.

Speaker 1 My my third mount rush more is having trouble locating an adult male african bullfrog which is becoming way harder than i thought i'm trying to create the world's largest frog and my last mount rushmore of daily bs is when people constantly tell you to speak into the mic and that you're a lip on twitter all right very good billy what's up guys it's big cat here making my irish entrance with proper number 12 irish whiskey how do you make an irish entrance you ask it starts with a shot of proper number 12 irish whiskey because real friends don't let friends Irish exit a party without a story to tell.

Speaker 1 Original proper number 12 is rich in a smooth blend of golden grain and single malt. Age four years in bourbon barrels.
Mix it up with some ginger ale for a classic and refreshing proper ginger.

Speaker 1 In the mood for something smooth but a little sweeter, try proper Irish apple, a delicious blend of proper's award-winning Irish whiskey with crisp, fresh notes of apple.

Speaker 1 So get out there and make your Irish entrance. Anything else just wouldn't be proper.
Okay, let's finish up the show. Thank you, Billy.
Let's finish up the show with Guys on Chicks.

Speaker 4 How can I get my... This is a vacation themed or summer themed Guys on Chicks.

Speaker 4 First one, how can I get my boyfriend to stop playing spike ball the entire time we go to the beach?

Speaker 1 Hank, you're a reformed spike ball addict. Beat him in spike ball.
It's very easy. That's probably the cut the net.
Very simple way to get him to stop.

Speaker 4 Yeah, say you'll pack the spike ball and forget one leg. So it's like they go set up and they're like, oh, so sorry.

Speaker 1 Okay, that's good. That's good.

Speaker 1 Hey, Jake, we're going to have a fucking Elam ending or whatever the fuck in this game.

Speaker 4 Hi, Warzone. Hi, Warzone, Honk, Stash Cat, and Karen Loving PFT.
I've been dating this guy on and off for over a year now, and we were planning a beach trip together.

Speaker 4 And last minute, I found out that he was going with just the boys, and I didn't find out until he was already on the trip.

Speaker 4 He told me it's because his family beach housed and he couldn't bring a girl, but still hasn't followed through on our trip to a different place. I'm still mad about it, and it's been two weeks.

Speaker 4 Should I let it go, or is he being shady?

Speaker 1 I don't think he's being shady. I think what happened was the plan was to have it be couples, and then like one guy was like, I'm not bringing mine.

Speaker 1 Then one guy was like, yeah, I'm not bringing my girlfriend. And then it just dominoes fall.
And then he's left being like, well,

Speaker 1 yeah, boys trip. A lot of times it's just tradition, too.

Speaker 1 Like if you go to the same beach house with the boys, for three summers in a row, then all of a sudden it's a thing where it's like, this is our boys' week, where we can finally just just be dudes.

Speaker 1 Here's what you get though. You can guilt him into a weekend trip at some point later on this summer.
So get that. That is, you have full upper hand on that.

Speaker 1 You just give a big sigh and be like,

Speaker 1 make sure you don't go outside while he's gone. So get pale as possible and be like, yeah.

Speaker 1 Would really love to go somewhere this summer.

Speaker 1 You can do that or you can just go ahead and you can tell him that you had your own girls weekend while he was gone on his guy's weekend and like make t-shirts for yourself and stuff that say clam jam 2020 but then he'll feel like he's off the hook no but then he gets back and he's like fuck i feel bad because my girlfriend went and had an awesome time without me i shouldn't have done that I don't think I would ever feel that way.

Speaker 1 If you came back and your girlfriend was rocking a clam jam 2020 shirt, like if you had a crawl, I'm not even talking about like the midriff cutout.

Speaker 1 I'm talking about like the little Ezekiel Elliott like braids on the midriff going around the back, and she was like sunburnt everywhere.

Speaker 1 But you had an awesome time with your boys at the beach all week? Yeah.

Speaker 1 They could be like, sick, now I don't have to take you anywhere. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Sup, boys, especially Chonkat. Why does salt water make our nipples shape especially hard under our bikinis?

Speaker 1 I don't know the answer to that. That's dehydration.
Yeah. It sucks all the water out of them.
Yeah. And the milk.
Does that happen? Do the nipples get... Does the nipples hurt under a bikini?

Speaker 1 That sucks. Damn.
Osmosis. Yeah, there you go.
Osmisis. There it is.
Billy. Also, try using a peeled coconut for the bronze set.
Or just French.

Speaker 1 French no tops oh you got a piss on it anything that hurts you while you're at the beach the best way to get rid of the sting just take a leak on it yep

Speaker 4 someone this is a quick one but

Speaker 4 sunscreen sim move or no

Speaker 1 you think you're tougher than the sun no

Speaker 4 do the sunscreen why wouldn't you do the sunscreen slower tan uh hey boys last one hey boys specially vacation honk my bait my boyfriend has this weird obsession with pooping in the ocean it's one of his favorite parts of our beach vacations the aqua dump he'll be giddy for his first shit in the ocean and specifically holds it until we get there from our condo.

Speaker 4 How should I go about getting him to stop? Or should I just let his urges go since he enjoys it so much? I mean, at the end of the day, fish shit in the ocean all day.

Speaker 1 That's exactly what I said. Fish shit in the ocean.
You don't have to wipe afterwards if you're getting waves hitting you. It's actually wonderful.
It's a wonderful sensation.

Speaker 1 I wouldn't recommend doing it all the time because then you become the I shit in the ocean guy. But yeah, I think he's there.
He's already there.

Speaker 1 Maybe just feed him a bunch of cheese before you leave for it. Just like load him up with string cheese on the drive to the beach and then hopefully he just plugs himself right up.

Speaker 1 I just hope he's a good swimmer because the aqua deuce is great, but if you're not a good swimmer, you're basically just dumping on yourself. You can't get away fast enough.
And you also, I mean,

Speaker 1 things can happen. You just got to make sure that, yeah.

Speaker 1 It's a risky move, but it's also a very good move when you can pull it off seamlessly. It's extremely rewarding.
Yes. But again, I don't think that you should...

Speaker 1 It's kind of like one of those honor amongst thieves things that guys that take aqua dumps don't tell other people when they're doing it.

Speaker 1 You just go out there, you handle your business, and then you just kind of watch. You just walk back in, take a peek behind your swim trunks, make sure there's no stains, no harm, no foul.
Yes.

Speaker 1 All right, that's our show. We will see everyone on Friday.
Are we watching a documentary?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 4 Yes, yes, we are. There's one on Netflix called Home Game, which we've gotten a lot of records.

Speaker 1 It's got like eight episodes, though. Oh, really? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I've watched a couple of them. It's pretty good.

Speaker 4 I thought it was like the last one where it's like eight sports and one.

Speaker 1 We could watch two of them. So watch two.
The

Speaker 1 calcios. What is it?

Speaker 6 Calciostorico.

Speaker 1 Yep, that one is good. And then I watched the Scottish Games one, which was pretty sick.
So, let's do those two. We'll tweet that out.
Uh, it's only like 25 minutes each, but yeah, it's a cool series.

Speaker 1 So, we'll do that for Friday, and we'll see everyone on Friday. Love you guys, especially you, Indian part of my take listeners.

Speaker 1 of gay.

Speaker 1 Shy it away,

Speaker 1 I'll be coming for your love of king. Take on me,

Speaker 1 take

Speaker 1 me on,

Speaker 1 I'll be gone

Speaker 1 with

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Speaker 1 I'll be surprised. Say I'll leave

Speaker 1 It's a bad you can say something

Speaker 1 Take on me

Speaker 1 Take me on

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Speaker 1 that you say

Speaker 1 in a lot more Just play my burning away

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Speaker 1 You're killing me.