The 2020 Takie Awards Featuring Blake Griffin, Blake Koepka & Blake Bortles

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Speaker 4 On today's part of my take,

Speaker 5 the 2020 Takeies.

Speaker 6 What a shitty year this has been,

Speaker 9 but we have the Takeies.

Speaker 10 We have some great awards.

Speaker 11 We have 21 awards we're giving out.

Speaker 14 We have some celebrity guests giving those awards out.

Speaker 17 We have Blake of the Year.

Speaker 7 We have.

Speaker 18 Give me some more PFT. I forgot all about it.

Speaker 20 Well, I mean, we've got big time Tommy making.

Speaker 21 We taped this a week ago.

Speaker 19 We have big time Tommy makes his debut on part of my take.

Speaker 23 No, but the awards.

Speaker 19 The awards. We have, let's see.

Speaker 25 Oh, guy still alive, Guy of the Year.

Speaker 19 We have, holy shit, that show happened this year of the year.

Speaker 6 We have Take of the Year, Worst Take of the Year, Worst Prediction of the Year.

Speaker 19 Cast Listeners of the Year.

Speaker 30 That'll be interesting.

Speaker 19 My Dad of the Year.

Speaker 19 We've got just a ton of great awards. Just a magical night of showmanship and pageantry.

Speaker 32 Great, great show coming up.

Speaker 37 Before we get to that, though, we are also going to do a little Who's Back and catch up with whatever's going on in the sports world.

Speaker 40 Before we do that, when Cool Creamy Ranch meets Tangy bold buffalo, the whole is greater than the sum of its sauce.

Speaker 40 Say howdy, partner, to new Buffalo Ranch Sauce only at McDonald's for a limited time.

Speaker 3 At participating, McDonald's.

Speaker 41 Okay,

Speaker 11 let's go.

Speaker 11 Now in the streets, there is violence.

Speaker 11 And then a lot of song work to be done.

Speaker 11 Lord place the hand of the washing

Speaker 11 And then I can pay all on the sun Oh no, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue

Speaker 11 And then we'll take it higher

Speaker 11 Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue It's part of my take presented by Barstool Sports

Speaker 44 Welcome to Part of My Take presented by the Cash App.

Speaker 46 Go download it right now.

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Speaker 27 You get $10 for free, $10 to ASPCA.

Speaker 51 Today is Monday, July 6th, and we have the 2020 takeies coming up.

Speaker 52 Get excited.

Speaker 53 The entire back half of the show is all the takeies.

Speaker 17 Also, just a disclaimer, do not be the person to ruin Blake of the Year or podcast listeners of the year.

Speaker 56 Don't do that.

Speaker 57 Don't do that.

Speaker 19 Actually, I'm hearing, Big Cat, that if the podcast listeners from Part of My Take actively try to ruin either of those awards, awards, it significantly reduces their chances of winning it.

Speaker 58 Correct.

Speaker 57 So don't do that.

Speaker 38 Don't do that. Let everyone enjoy it, but get excited.

Speaker 51 The takies are coming up.

Speaker 33 Before we do that, we have a couple things we want to hit.

Speaker 61 I know we're going to talk about the Redskins' name change, but I wanted to, PFT, I wrote this down because I didn't want it to escape my thoughts.

Speaker 62 I didn't want us to just go right through it.

Speaker 32 Joey Chestnut is the greatest athlete of all time.

Speaker 65 That's it.

Speaker 66 It's over.

Speaker 19 If you look at the career that he's put together and how he keeps beating himself, here's how you know greatness.

Speaker 19 He he doesn't have a guy that he's going up head to head against, he's only competing against his past self, and he continues to dominate himself from a year ago. And there's just no stealing to it.

Speaker 19 He's gone from like, remember when 50 hot dogs was like a holy shit moment? Yes, now it's like 50 hot dogs is nothing. Like, dude, he eats that for breakfast.

Speaker 38 If there was ever a time that Joey Chestnut could mail it in, his number one competitor that he was going against, what is his name, Jake?

Speaker 68 Uh, something Matt, something the guy talking about Kobiashi, no, no, no, the second guy, No, Kobiashi has been around.

Speaker 72 Matt Stoney, I think.

Speaker 73 Oh, my God.

Speaker 73 There we go.

Speaker 56 Hank's on vacation, by the way, of course.

Speaker 37 Matt Stoney.

Speaker 35 He wasn't there.

Speaker 33 They're doing it in a bunker.

Speaker 76 There's no music. It's fucking weird.

Speaker 77 Coronavirus.

Speaker 76 No one to push him.

Speaker 78 That is the time where he could basically, he could have eaten 50 hot dogs and won by like 20 hot dogs.

Speaker 34 He still eats 75 hot dogs.

Speaker 61 He is a true champion.

Speaker 32 The only one who can beat Joey Chestnut is his fiancé who broke up with him a week before the hot dog eating competition that one year.

Speaker 30 People don't talk that way.

Speaker 83 That's literally the only thing I could say.

Speaker 19 It got in his head and he got taken off his game.

Speaker 19 By the way, if you're dating Joey Chestnut, you have to know not to break up with him that week. Yes.
Do it like a month before.

Speaker 19 In fact, I have some theories about that, that Kobayashi planted her just to screw with him, just to break up with him before the competition.

Speaker 84 It was a problem.

Speaker 19 Because that is fucked up to do that to a man.

Speaker 85 That was the one Matt Stoney won.

Speaker 19 We keep going back to Chestnut topping himself year after year after year after year after year. It's just, I haven't seen an individual athlete go on a run like this ever.

Speaker 19 This is Tiger Slam, like mid-2000s Tiger Woods shit.

Speaker 71 That's a great point.

Speaker 44 It is. He is better than Tiger Woods.

Speaker 57 Better.

Speaker 19 I would say better because Tiger Woods only competes against, what, 200 other people in a golf major? Right. Joey Chestnut is literally competing against anybody that's ever eaten a hot dog.

Speaker 11 Also, if Tiger Woods had gotten broken up with, like, right before he was going to get married, he probably would have won more majors.

Speaker 19 It's true.

Speaker 88 Like, he, you know, like, so he, actually, I don't know how that helps.

Speaker 90 I don't know who that helps.

Speaker 19 I think that would help.

Speaker 31 Tiger? No. No.

Speaker 91 No, Joey's just better.

Speaker 48 Joey is better. Joey's a good idea.

Speaker 25 I tweeted it.

Speaker 38 I wasn't joking.

Speaker 93 I am blessed.

Speaker 95 I wake up every morning and I am blessed to be alive at the same time as Joey Chestnut. You know how people are like, I was alive at the same time as Mozart.

Speaker 63 I don't know if anyone says that because they've been dead for a real long ass time.

Speaker 19 Mozart never existed actually.

Speaker 78 There's some people, there's some

Speaker 22 times in history where you're like, I can't believe I was alive for that.

Speaker 56 I cannot believe I was alive for Joey Chestnut.

Speaker 35 And thank you, Joey Chestnut.

Speaker 100 You are a fucking marvel.

Speaker 19 I met him one time in a Savannah strip club, Savannah, Georgia, the night before St. Patrick's Day.
He was getting ready for his corned beef and cabbage eating contest.

Speaker 19 He was just out until like 1 a.m. casually housing like several dozen Miller Lights.
Next day, he wakes up and he eats like seven pounds of corned beef.

Speaker 52 That's a fucking legend right there.

Speaker 48 I think people don't realize

Speaker 102 after the hot dog competition, you know,

Speaker 11 they think, like, oh, they'd probably just go back and like puke and whatever.

Speaker 79 Joey Chesnick goes out.

Speaker 104 He said that to me when we were on the fucking bus to Staten Island.

Speaker 53 I was like, so what happens after?

Speaker 97 He's like, oh, you know, we'll go out and get drunk.

Speaker 24 Yeah. Like, what?

Speaker 25 I ate 12 hot dogs and I was sick for like five days.

Speaker 38 Joey Chesnet ate 73 and he's going and doing SoCo and Lime shots off the waitress's belly button.

Speaker 105 Listen, what a fucking beast.

Speaker 19 At the very least, he's a two-sport athlete and should be considered in the top 300 of that guy's porn star list because the way that he's able to swallow those things is really

Speaker 19 open up that throat.

Speaker 19 He's top 150.

Speaker 107 Have you seen the trends?

Speaker 16 They'll call him the, I think they said the glizzy gladiator.

Speaker 23 What is glizzy? What is it?

Speaker 24 People said I was glizzy when I was eating hot dogs.

Speaker 107 Yeah, so it's, I don't, I don't know like where the term comes from.

Speaker 108 That's why we have you, both.

Speaker 56 But that's why, yeah, I know.

Speaker 19 He should be given

Speaker 109 the goat.

Speaker 19 If you think about it, like

Speaker 35 nobody else can just say that they're the goat the throat a goat the throat goat a goat will eat anything and eat all of it he is the fucking goat people when i was tweeting like a video from when i was in the competition for four years ago people were tweeting like oh i didn't know big cat was down with lizzy like i was like what am i i thought i did something wrong it's like people people they try to hide when

Speaker 19 they're eating a hot dog like they don't they don't want people taking pictures of them bro i got you they don't want to get into like who is it Was it Mitt Romney that just went to town on a corn dog?

Speaker 19 That's like Mike Fair.

Speaker 49 Mike Pence will never use a straw.

Speaker 107 There's an absurd amount of pictures of Obama eating hot dogs.

Speaker 41 Yeah.

Speaker 23 Like I saw somebody did a threat.

Speaker 24 I don't know if hot dogs.

Speaker 21 There was like 20 pictures.

Speaker 19 There are reporters who make their entire year's worth of salary just by hanging out at that Iowa State Fair and taking pictures of every single presidential candidate.

Speaker 19 Being like, this guy, yeah, this is going to make for a great Photoshop dick later.

Speaker 112 Okay, so Urban Dictionary has glizzy.

Speaker 113 It just says a hot dog.

Speaker 95 And then using a sentence, pops wasting no time to throat the glizzy.

Speaker 75 He's a real glizzy gladiator.

Speaker 84 All right.

Speaker 83 I fucking love glizzies.

Speaker 44 I ate glizzies all summer once trying to get Carmelo to the Chicago Bulls.

Speaker 115 I'll do it again. Did that work?

Speaker 58 Eventually it became a bad thing.

Speaker 24 Eventually it did.

Speaker 25 All right. So that's Joey Chestnut.

Speaker 71 We also have sort of sports coming back, but again, like everything that's coming back, it's weird.

Speaker 117 Like baseball, as you saw, the Bucs shut down their facility because someone tested positive for coronavirus.

Speaker 71 Baseball players are opting out.

Speaker 14 I think Mike Trout feels like he might opt out.

Speaker 118 I'm not going to tell anyone what they should and shouldn't do.

Speaker 35 All I'm going to say is, doesn't this feel like the one chance Mike Trout has to go to the playoffs, a 60-game season?

Speaker 32 That's the first thing I thought of. It's like, dude, you don't...

Speaker 63 Like, you could just get hot for a couple months and maybe go to the playoffs.

Speaker 78 It'd be nice. He may never go to the playoffs.

Speaker 19 Listen, yeah, in this case, he might finally reach that point where Colin Coward would be able to recognize him in a mall if you're running to him. And now he's just throwing that out the window.

Speaker 19 How does that work? If you opt out of the season, do you get paid at all?

Speaker 87 I don't think so.

Speaker 63 So he doesn't need the money.

Speaker 24 Yeah, he's fine.

Speaker 6 But yeah,

Speaker 35 David Price opted out.

Speaker 79 Who else opted out?

Speaker 28 There was a couple other guys that opted out.

Speaker 19 There was

Speaker 19 somebody on the East Coast.

Speaker 19 I don't know. The bottom line is really on top of it.
Baseball is coming.

Speaker 16 Jake, this is what you're hired for.

Speaker 19 You should know that.

Speaker 15 You should have the fucking list.

Speaker 101 God damn it, Jake.

Speaker 89 He got ahead of himself because he beat Ravel on Bobby Bonilla day.

Speaker 19 That's pretty good, though.

Speaker 121 Who opted out?

Speaker 109 Who opted out? Who opted out?

Speaker 19 David Price was the big one. He feels like an East Coast guy.

Speaker 85 So we'll just say it was David Price that we're talking about.

Speaker 7 Someone on the Diamondbacks did. I know that.

Speaker 19 Dan Heron?

Speaker 122 Yep.

Speaker 12 No, he opted in.

Speaker 77 Whatever.

Speaker 122 Okay, that was good talk.

Speaker 33 Baseball talk.

Speaker 38 All right, Redskins. Name change.

Speaker 15 Yes. Finally going to happen.

Speaker 19 Listen, I am 100% behind this. And here's what I've been feeling.

Speaker 24 King Varden, there we go. And that actually, I'm not going to count that against you, Brady, because I can't believe he's on the Braves.

Speaker 69 Better late than never.

Speaker 87 He's another one.

Speaker 83 Dude, you could finally go to the playoffs.

Speaker 19 But didn't the Braves just have somebody that came down with COVID?

Speaker 104 Freddy Freeman. Freddy Freeman had it.

Speaker 23 Yeah.

Speaker 24 Freddy Freeman. Yeah.
Freddy Freeman.

Speaker 30 Hopefully he gets better.

Speaker 19 Yeah. Thoughts and prayers.
Papa Bless for him. Great alliteration name.
Freddy Freeman. But yes, the Washington R Words officially decided to change their name.

Speaker 19 I've been on board with the Redskins doing this for the last probably 10 years.

Speaker 19 And let's just, for the sake of this argument, throw out any feelings that you may have around the name Redskins, whether or not you believe it to be offensive, whether or not you believe it to be a slur.

Speaker 19 If you are a Redskins fan, most people that I know are totally on board with the name change just because it's a new fucking page. It's turning the page.
They've been so bad. Be the generals.

Speaker 19 They've been so bad. That'd be better.
The name Washington Generals is more aligned with a winning culture than the Washington Redskins has been for the last 30 years.

Speaker 19 We've tried everything since then. We've tried since we like last won the Super Bowl in 1991.
We've tried hiring old coaches. We've tried hiring rookie coaches.

Speaker 19 We've hired bingo callers to be coaches. We've hired college coaches.
We've hired Steve Spurrier. We hired somebody called a Jim Zorn.
We've tried everybody. We've tried everything possible.

Speaker 19 We've tried new quarterbacks. We've tried moving the team to fucking Maryland.
We've tried literally everything. But it's going to happen.
Let's rebrand. Now,

Speaker 19 here's where it might get interesting because Dan Snyder said that he is putting together a committee to study whether or not the team name should be changed.

Speaker 19 I would not put it past Dan Snyder to come back with a report and be like, well, my report says that the team name doesn't need to be changed.

Speaker 7 Well, the thing, though, is that Nike and

Speaker 7 some of these other companies, FedEx, are going to put pressure on them and they're going to change it.

Speaker 61 And I think they're going to change it.

Speaker 39 And they shouldn't get credit because it took them way too long, but they're going to change it.

Speaker 61 So what do they change it to?

Speaker 7 I said the teeth.

Speaker 19 Yeah, so you're trying to make the teeth happen.

Speaker 33 I think I was maybe a little high when I thought of it.

Speaker 19 The only issue is naming a team the teeth. It would be cool to have.

Speaker 125 So you have like the jazz thing where you don't know like is it the teeth teethies?

Speaker 39 The tooths. The teeth? The tooths.

Speaker 60 Oh, that's okay. That makes sense.

Speaker 19 The tooths? I don't know. Tooths? I don't know.
But you could have

Speaker 19 instead of people holding the defense signs in the stands.

Speaker 83 You put an S on a tooth?

Speaker 19 Tooth.

Speaker 75 Tooth.

Speaker 19 Teeth. Teeth is plural.
I know.

Speaker 58 That's funny. Go teeth.

Speaker 33 Right. People are going to fuck it up.
Yeah.

Speaker 101 Like the tooth.

Speaker 58 Like, oh, I'm a tooth. I'm a teeth.

Speaker 19 The problem with the teeth when it's the Washington teeth is didn't.

Speaker 116 George Washington had

Speaker 19 the fucking wooden dentures, right? The sastiest teeth ever. You can have people just holding up wooden dentures.

Speaker 49 And I said, go back to RFK.

Speaker 19 Well, that's obviously going to happen.

Speaker 8 Number one.

Speaker 19 That's why they're trying to make that happen. Yeah.
Is they're trying to get back to D.C. And D.C.
Council is like, we're not taking you back

Speaker 19 until the name is changed. So teeth.

Speaker 80 Tell you what, Piquette, we're going to put a pin in that.

Speaker 115 I did a poll.

Speaker 116 I'm just saying. I think.

Speaker 71 Shout out Clay Travis doing Twitter polls.

Speaker 117 They're obviously final.

Speaker 71 75% said yes.

Speaker 19 I think they should. I've got a couple ideas.
One, it sounds like the Warriors and the Red Tails are the leaders in the clubhouse right now. Yeah.
Whatever, that's fine. Kind of boring, but it works.

Speaker 19 They should move it to Clinton, Maryland, call them the Clinton Body Counts.

Speaker 16 That'd be pretty sick.

Speaker 96 So you've been reading QAnon in your book.

Speaker 19 Yeah, the Clinton, Clinton kill lists. Okay.

Speaker 19 They could alternately call themselves the Washington Bullets, I think would be awesome because they changed the name of the Bullets back in the 90s when the murder rate was high.

Speaker 19 And because the team name got changed, the murder rate went way down just because of that name changed.

Speaker 112 I thought it was because of the assassination.

Speaker 19 No, no, it's just because of the

Speaker 95 bullets was the assassination of

Speaker 53 wasn't it?

Speaker 50 Someone got assassinated, and that's why they changed it.

Speaker 19 Oh, no, that was the guy in the park, Vince Foster. Now you're reading QAnon, big cat.

Speaker 122 No, no, no, no.

Speaker 27 I'm pretty sure the Washington Bullets, part of the reason why, was because there was some assassination in there.

Speaker 70 All right, we're going to change the name.

Speaker 19 It was because D.C. was the murder capital of the United States at the time, and so they changed that.

Speaker 49 Yeah, Yitzhak Rabin got assassinated.

Speaker 19 But now, come back,

Speaker 19 bring back the bullets. It's time.
The jerseys for the old Bullets were fire.

Speaker 19 Or they could name them.

Speaker 19 It's been a while since we've had a team that's been named after a really big movie that's come out. We had the Raptors do that.
We had the Mighty Ducks do that for the NHL back in the day.

Speaker 19 We haven't had one of those in like 10 years. So Washington Parasites.

Speaker 106 Okay. Be sick.

Speaker 19 Washington Green Books. Okay.

Speaker 19 Washington Boner Dogs.

Speaker 84 Okay.

Speaker 19 Washington. And then they just make Redskins in all caps because a couple years ago, Dan Snyder was like, I'm not changing the name.
You can put that in all caps.

Speaker 127 What about

Speaker 50 the Washington Skins, and then the mascot is Hannibal?

Speaker 93 Okay. Yeah.

Speaker 101 The serial killer.

Speaker 12 I like that. In the movies.

Speaker 105 Hannibal. Just keep Redskins

Speaker 19 and have it. It's Mike Shanahan's red face just staring at you.

Speaker 37 Could you imagine if they had fucking Dwayne Haskins coming out on the gurney and like his Ray Lewis entrance?

Speaker 19 Is him with the mask on? That'd be nice.

Speaker 33 That would be cool.

Speaker 19 The Washington Haskins. Yeah.

Speaker 84 Well, he's not going to be on the team for very long.

Speaker 19 What's interesting to me is that they're asking Ron Rivera to help pick the team name.

Speaker 19 I think that when they were making their pitch to Rivera back, you know, five, six months ago, they told him from the get-go, they're like, hey, you're going to be not only in charge of being the coach of the team, but you're going to be the face of the franchise.

Speaker 19 And we're literally going to give you the power to pick the next team name. What if he, who's his hero? Dikka.

Speaker 105 What if he just.

Speaker 69 Washington Dickas?

Speaker 19 He's a swagger jack Chicago who was like Washington Dikkas. Yes.
And then he just comes out for the national anthem every time, just farts into the microphone, lights up a cigar, and leaves.

Speaker 35 Knowing Ron Rivera, though, like, he's pretty boring.

Speaker 129 He'll just name it like,

Speaker 18 he'll be like the Washington Maroon.

Speaker 37 Like, or the first thing he sees.

Speaker 19 Burgundy.

Speaker 103 Yeah, the Washington Rugs.

Speaker 19 What about...

Speaker 30 The rugs, actually.

Speaker 19 The Washington carpets? Washington carpets is not bad.

Speaker 128 That's kind of confusing.

Speaker 70 See, I want them to do something oddball like that.

Speaker 58 The teeth, the carpets,

Speaker 98 the Hannibal thing. I would be fine.

Speaker 19 I'd be fine with Washington Football Club.

Speaker 8 Just

Speaker 24 soccer and all that bullshit.

Speaker 19 Yeah, but that way it's stealing football back from the Brits.

Speaker 37 Yeah, I just think they have a chance to do something really stupid.

Speaker 49 Oh, and if you do something really stupid, it will totally eliminate everything that's happened before.

Speaker 58 Like, if you do the Washington Warriors, everyone's going to be like, well, it took them long enough.

Speaker 5 If you do a fucking huge unveiling and it's the Washington carpets,

Speaker 128 you've changed the narrative, my friend.

Speaker 19 I mean, you could get stupider without, like, just being dumb. What if you just had like the Washington cum shots?

Speaker 56 No, you can't, because that, you have to do it like something ordinary that is, like, actually, like, they could, they never named it the Washington Cum Shots.

Speaker 16 If you get more.0001% chance, they could name it the Washington Carpets.

Speaker 19 But if you get more offensive than what the team name was before, then people beg Dan Snyder to change it back.

Speaker 133 Right.

Speaker 19 And then he's the hero by changing

Speaker 19 the music.

Speaker 8 That's a whole little goalpost move.

Speaker 133 Yeah, I like that.

Speaker 24 Yeah, I kind of anchor the negotiation.

Speaker 19 What's the most offensive name you see? I don't think we'd say that. We probably don't need to go down that road.

Speaker 134 But yeah,

Speaker 7 it's going to happen.

Speaker 128 And then I would assume the Indians are next.

Speaker 135 And then

Speaker 98 who's going to hold on? The Braids are

Speaker 115 holding on for a while.

Speaker 28 They're going to hold on as long as they can.

Speaker 62 I don't know.

Speaker 128 It's just like, and then, of course, there'll be hand-wringing, and everyone will be like, I can't believe he did it.

Speaker 98 Just fucking change it.

Speaker 33 I think it'd be cool to have the opportunity to change it and just like, Dan Snyder, just get a fucking room and I'll nominate myself for it of a bunch of dudes getting really high and we'll just come up with a new name.

Speaker 19 Listen, I am very excited about this because, I mean, just a new team name for a team that I grew up rooting for is awesome. Also, you can...

Speaker 19 It feels like this is like, I get to buy a bunch of new t-shirts. You can sell.

Speaker 58 That's fucking cool.

Speaker 38 Yeah, you can sell a lot of new shit.

Speaker 43 Yeah.

Speaker 121 During a pandemic.

Speaker 30 No brainer.

Speaker 19 The Washington Taylors. They're kind of named after Sean Taylor, but the logo is just a man like measuring your in-seam.

Speaker 61 Short, yes, short dude.

Speaker 39 Taylor's always short.

Speaker 58 Yeah, measuring

Speaker 7 with a sick mustache.

Speaker 19 Measuring Dan Snyder's in-seam. And being like, oh, sir, it looks like you dressed immediately right down the middle because your penis isn't long enough to reach the leg holes.

Speaker 35 He's just like, this is your Taylor.

Speaker 27 He's right next to the baker shop, and it's like, you got all these guys.

Speaker 24 They're my guys.

Speaker 19 If it does become red tails, we're going to see a lot of furries become Washington Redskins fans.

Speaker 19 And they're just going to walk around just like with a little red fuzzy tail poking out of the back boxes.

Speaker 24 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 98 All right. So that's going to change.

Speaker 6 And then the other thing we had was Bryson D.

Speaker 118 Shambeau being the biggest douchebag of all time.

Speaker 19 I did have an idea that I tweeted out, but I feel like it's worth more discussion. Like, let's ring some more, let's ring some ratings out of this choice and call it the Decision.

Speaker 19 Like the LeBron James choice. And it's like Chuck Todd on one of the morning shows interviewing Dan Snyder.

Speaker 88 Just trying to get it really ringing.

Speaker 118 But he wouldn't be Dan Snyder.

Speaker 15 He's got to just be so confused that, like why is everything changing right now why is why are people mad about it yeah he probably hasn't even fucking turned on the news yeah um hmm

Speaker 38 i'm just excited i'm excited like this is like a new a new birth for me in terms of my football team washington afterbirths there you go washing and placentas that works um all right so bryson di chambeau holy shit this guy does he have any idea like how the media works so how it goes is bryson di chambeau has gotten bigger He's hitting bombs.

Speaker 60 It's electric.

Speaker 15 Awesome to watch.

Speaker 137 And then he got in a fight with a cameraman on Saturday and said the cameraman was following him, aka doing his job as a cameraman, and that cameramen and women shouldn't be putting them in a negative light all the time after like bad shots because it can hurt their image and their brand.

Speaker 19 So he's saying that it's bad form for the cameraman to be filming Bryson after he hits a shot that doesn't go according which is literally the only reason you watch golf to see somebody get pissed off

Speaker 38 outside of the the the the four majors I'm watching golf to see someone shit down their fucking leg you know what I'm out on Bryson de Chambeau.

Speaker 19 Yes, he's big. But the bombs do.
Yes, he's put on weight, but he's artificially. I'm going to say it right now.
I think he's taking steroids. I think that it's artificial popcorn muscles.

Speaker 19 I also wouldn't be surprised if he gave Brooks Kepka's caddy coronavirus. He triangulated the way to get the droplets sprayed directly right on him.

Speaker 19 You don't just go from being a math guy, from being a guy who's most known on the PGA tour for taking 90 seconds between shots and doing calculus in your head instead of putting a six-footer to being like the tour hulk.

Speaker 19 You don't just, you don't make that transition. I am not.

Speaker 19 Now he's rocking the fucking tight shirts and the scally cap looks like.

Speaker 37 I don't think he changed it.

Speaker 33 I think he's just

Speaker 71 stuck with the same clothes.

Speaker 24 Well, it just got bigger.

Speaker 84 With his size. He never bought new clothes.

Speaker 19 He just looks like he's a dad picking their son up from a Dropkick Murphy show. And he looks like a poser.
I'm calling him out. Bryson DeChambeau's.

Speaker 56 Fuck you, Bryson.

Speaker 59 Okay, so counterpoint, the bombs.

Speaker 53 The bombs that he hits are so electric.

Speaker 127 And I don't know what the fucking spin action or whatever the hell they call it, the club speed, whatever the golf nerds say.

Speaker 63 I'm in on all of it.

Speaker 18 I fucking love watching it.

Speaker 70 I hate Bryson DeCambo.

Speaker 7 I think he's a douchebag.

Speaker 97 And you can quote me on on that, but I'm here for the bombs.

Speaker 58 I'll watch him drive every single hole.

Speaker 97 I won't watch after that.

Speaker 19 I think he's a JV Kepka.

Speaker 10 That's actually offensive to our friend Brooks Kepka.

Speaker 19 But he's trying to drive.

Speaker 49 I don't even think he is a J.V. He's trying to.

Speaker 56 I think he's cut from the freshman squad.

Speaker 19 He hits bombs.

Speaker 29 Yeah.

Speaker 18 And I still don't understand the thought process of...

Speaker 12 Getting mad at a cameraman and then getting

Speaker 60 so mad that he talks to the media saying the cameraman was in the wrong and then making it so much bigger.

Speaker 14 Streisand affected himself out of this world.

Speaker 19 So he did this after the round was over?

Speaker 128 He got in a fight with him at like during the

Speaker 35 like so he hit a bad shot.

Speaker 59 The cameraman followed him.

Speaker 129 Again, the cameraman's job.

Speaker 17 And then he had words with them for about a minute.

Speaker 19 in the middle of the round and then afterwards was like i don't think they should show us in our worst moments it's bad for our brand and image yeah he probably thinks his own caddy is a spy he's like why is this guy hanging hanging out next to me telling me what shots to hit?

Speaker 118 Oh my God.

Speaker 28 It's, I mean, Bryson, you do realize you're on tour, dude.

Speaker 18 You're not just fucking, you know, you don't have a tea time on Sunday morning with the fellas at the local country club and being like, why is this cameraman?

Speaker 56 Why the paparazzi out?

Speaker 19 Bryson's going to be a guy at some point this year is going to try to be a badass and roll up one of his

Speaker 19 one of the cuffs on his legs and hit a shot out of the water, spray himself down with water, and then he's going to get pissed off that a camera actually brought Bryson.

Speaker 140 Right, exactly.

Speaker 66 All right, let's do, so.

Speaker 37 We got tankies coming up.

Speaker 33 Let's get to our who's back of the week. We have Jake here.

Speaker 103 Hank is on vacation. Jake, why don't you lead us off who's back of the week to you?

Speaker 20 Hank sent one in, but I want I have one as well.

Speaker 24 Vacations.

Speaker 19 Was Hank's suggestion taking vacations?

Speaker 29 Yeah.

Speaker 20 No, Hank's was Masvedal,

Speaker 132 recurring guest. Yes.

Speaker 108 Shadow Realm.

Speaker 35 Yes.

Speaker 37 Fighting on short notice on Saturday night.

Speaker 53 Saturday night.

Speaker 20 That's going to be electric. So that'll be nice.
And then mine is live basketball. We got the TBT that started this weekend.

Speaker 20 And paired with March Madness Nostalgia, you got the big-time mid-major names. You've got Fletcher McGee from Wofford, you've got Mike Dahm from South Dakota State, the dominator

Speaker 20 from Wisconsin.

Speaker 30 Yep, wet.

Speaker 20 My pick, Boheim's Army, no bias whatsoever.

Speaker 19 Playing on Tuesday, Eric Dievendorf and Company.

Speaker 16 We don't talk about TBT around here, though.

Speaker 24 Real quick,

Speaker 19 point of order: is it you refer to it as the TBT? Is it the TBT or just TBT?

Speaker 24 Because it's not.

Speaker 24 Yeah, it's okay.

Speaker 19 It's like TSN in Canada is the sports network. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So it's, we're we've got TBT coming back.

Speaker 20 Yeah, we've got TBT. Fuck TBT.
That sounds like

Speaker 109 that's okay.

Speaker 19 A disease that's recurring. It's like, damn,

Speaker 19 I got to go get another penicillin injection. TBT's back.

Speaker 33 I'll give TBT a little credit.

Speaker 39 What they've done with the court is good.

Speaker 125 The NBA should obviously take notes.

Speaker 5 It feels because it's weird not having fans, but they got enough things going on that it doesn't feel like it's a totally empty gym, even though it is.

Speaker 20 And they invented the bracket advancement sticker.

Speaker 122 I don't like the score thing they're doing, though.

Speaker 80 I don't understand.

Speaker 24 Elam ending?

Speaker 132 That's what they did with the MBA.

Speaker 24 It also wasn't.

Speaker 29 It's such a nerd thing.

Speaker 121 But they did that.

Speaker 83 Yeah, remember how much I struggled with it? Yeah, but it was so fun. But I struggled with it.

Speaker 115 You had eight plus eight.

Speaker 25 You liked it. But I struggled with it.

Speaker 19 After you struggled with it, you couldn't.

Speaker 37 But I know, I don't think I did because I couldn't understand the over-under.

Speaker 20 I mean, it made it more fun. Jake.

Speaker 84 I still understand the over-under.

Speaker 19 You explain it to me like I'm a 35-year-old sports blogger who's dumb as shit.

Speaker 116 It's just hypothetical.

Speaker 24 I'll do it first, then you do it.

Speaker 83 I'll do it really dumb.

Speaker 24 It's just fucking stupid.

Speaker 128 Jason Elam, he used to kick for the Broncos.

Speaker 126 You made this stupid nat and math nerd thing where if you're up by a certain amount of points, the game's over.

Speaker 20 Okay, so at the under four timeout of the fourth quarter,

Speaker 24 they walked in.

Speaker 19 You've already really irritated him.

Speaker 24 I did a better job. First whistle, under four minutes left in the game.

Speaker 84 All right, so Jason Elam.

Speaker 73 You got a fucking cat.

Speaker 24 Thank you. I got it.
Yeah, so that's big catch.

Speaker 83 Did I explain to you well?

Speaker 48 Yeah, yeah. Yes, I did.

Speaker 116 First whistle, under four, goodbye clock.

Speaker 20 You add eight to the team that's leading score, and you play to that.

Speaker 48 See how stupid that is?

Speaker 24 It's a walk-off fuck it every time.

Speaker 109 It's sick.

Speaker 15 Whatever.

Speaker 24 All right. Fine.

Speaker 19 You know what you're doing, though? You're limiting the amount of points that can be scored.

Speaker 115 I can't learn new magic. That's not cool.
Eight.

Speaker 130 Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 24 That's the over-under point.

Speaker 19 But Dick, what if the team was going to go off after those eight points and the other team was going to score 100 points? You don't know that.

Speaker 118 I'm also mad because I bet on Fletcher McGee on Saturday night because he gave me his word that he would like, you know, he had that terrible performance against Kentucky when fucking.

Speaker 118 called

Speaker 33 yeah they woffered should have beaten kentucky

Speaker 104 i'm still mad about that yeah yeah and fletch mcgee was like over eight from three right the first game he was like he made like eight threes right yeah yeah

Speaker 23 don't forget fletch

Speaker 33 and now you did it again i've also

Speaker 20 texted a few vermont players i'm starting I'm starting a petition to get Vermont a team next year.

Speaker 109 Intice.

Speaker 70 Into TBT. No, into the TBT.

Speaker 80 Into the Jake Marshes?

Speaker 126 The Jake Teeth.

Speaker 81 Ooh. Ooh.

Speaker 24 Yeah, we can start in nice. Okay, cool.

Speaker 20 The Vermont Very Cools.

Speaker 29 Yeah. The Blunts.

Speaker 19 VVC. The Vermont actually sounds pretty sick.

Speaker 35 Yeah.

Speaker 20 So we'll see what happens. Talk to me in 12 months.

Speaker 8 The Bongs.

Speaker 81 Yeah.

Speaker 101 That would be cool.

Speaker 19 Vermont Green. Just think about all the merchants.

Speaker 30 The Gravity Bongs.

Speaker 24 The Gravity Bongs.

Speaker 19 The White Owls.

Speaker 30 Yeah.

Speaker 20 But look out for that team next year.

Speaker 121 Okay. We will.

Speaker 8 The Heroines.

Speaker 134 I can't wait.

Speaker 58 Yeah.

Speaker 71 I don't know what I'm going to do with myself between now and next year.

Speaker 132 Might not have any other sports, so who knows?

Speaker 143 All right, PFD, your who's back.

Speaker 19 My who's back of the week is baseball staying relevant because on Thursday, no, Friday morning, baseball announced that they were officially canceling this year's All-Star game.

Speaker 19 So thank you, baseball, for reminding us that you're not going to play the game that should have been played tomorrow. Yes.
That's very nice of you to officially announce that today.

Speaker 19 And you know, it's because there was like one baseball nerd writer that had like the all-star game scheduled on their calendar and emailed Rob Manfred. He's like, just a point of order here.

Speaker 106 Yes.

Speaker 19 I did make travel arrangements a year and a half ago.

Speaker 98 Should I cancel those? Should I cancel

Speaker 12 the team's hotel at the at the local Marriott?

Speaker 19 Yeah, so they officially announced that on Friday.

Speaker 19 And it was like, it was baseball at the same time trying to do, they were trying to do a Friday news dump, and they were trying to bury this news on the Friday before the 4th of July, which is when you have any bad news if you're a corporation.

Speaker 19 That's the day that you put it out on.

Speaker 19 So baseball was like trying to bury it by announcing it on this day, but instead everybody was like, wait, they're trying to bury this news on on the friday before the 4th of july nobody actually gives a shit right right i i was so confused when i saw that and uh also baseball is relevant because pablo sandoval's back uh looking chonk

Speaker 30 did you see the the media member who took the picture who like basically then did a 12 tweet thread shaming the rest of the internet for shaming pablo sandoval no when he tweeted the picture of pablo sandoval looking like a blimp knowing what was going to happen like dude you tweeted it you were the one who put it out there.

Speaker 19 It said, uh, he cultivated mass during quarantine. Let's see.

Speaker 48 Pablo Sanovol's has been a discussion forever.

Speaker 58 Yeah, no, that's listen.

Speaker 49 This is the peak male body right here.

Speaker 19 This is a perfect baseball body.

Speaker 6 His fucking feet are all like, I don't know what's going on with his feet.

Speaker 19 He's got a thigh gap. Are we still doing thigh gap?

Speaker 84 The thigh gap looks amazing.

Speaker 19 You go to the chive.

Speaker 84 And

Speaker 19 keep calm. And yes, still there.

Speaker 24 Oh, yeah, there you go. Okay.

Speaker 33 When life says fuck you,

Speaker 137 29 photos.

Speaker 125 Siri, you ignorant shit slut.

Speaker 71 That's not what I said. 32 photos.

Speaker 62 These strange times call for unique drinking deliveries.

Speaker 63 Video.

Speaker 19 Chive on, brother.

Speaker 77 Okay.

Speaker 66 Yeah, so Pablo Sandoval's back.

Speaker 34 My who's back is.

Speaker 32 I don't really know how to phrase this.

Speaker 93 I don't. Okay.

Speaker 74 Well, so.

Speaker 58 Who's back, big cat?

Speaker 77 Pedophile accomplices are back.

Speaker 56 Gillian Maxwell got arrested.

Speaker 19 Alan Dershowitz.

Speaker 38 Alan Derschwitz.

Speaker 30 Allegedly, allegedly.

Speaker 77 Keep trying to blog through it, bro.

Speaker 56 But

Speaker 32 if you know anything about the Jeffrey Epstein case, it is all kinds of fucked up.

Speaker 31 I was arguing with someone briefly online who was like, you have to let her have her day in court.

Speaker 35 And I was like, the justice system has to do its job.

Speaker 58 It's like the same justice system that enabled Jeffrey Epstein.

Speaker 127 But why I'm saying it's who's back?

Speaker 98 Because I just, there's something extra special about

Speaker 47 the political world we're in right now where both left and right try to own each other with pictures of a pedophile accomplice and maybe a pedophile with their candidate.

Speaker 24 Yeah.

Speaker 33 And they both go back and forth. It's like, hey, you both have pictures.

Speaker 7 Isn't that the problem?

Speaker 19 I'm kind of of the mindset that as bad as things have gotten at all the top levels of government, having the Democrats and Republicans just tweeting photos back and forth of Epstein and Maxwell hanging out with either Bill Clinton or Donald Trump.

Speaker 19 Just going back and forth.

Speaker 19 Just run out the clock on America by doing that for the next 10 years.

Speaker 33 It's too on the nose that people can't fit.

Speaker 67 Like, I want to slide a mirror down and have everyone just tap them on the shoulder and be like, hey, look in the mirror.

Speaker 17 You're just...

Speaker 26 Like, the problem here is that every politician's been with this fucking pedophile.

Speaker 115 Yeah.

Speaker 73 Has nothing to do with left and right.

Speaker 121 And it's the fact that the pedophile has been in all of the circles of power.

Speaker 19 Dershowitz has been going off.

Speaker 116 Oh, dude.

Speaker 19 Somebody get Dershowitz a medium sponsorship so he can put these blog these tweets that he's putting out

Speaker 19 a long-form blog because he's just replying to nobody online and saying, just for the record, every time that I went to pedophile island, I always brought my young daughter with me.

Speaker 112 Dude, you see, he said release the tapes?

Speaker 37 He's like, release the tapes, because if I'm not on any of them, then I'm clearly not a pedophile.

Speaker 52 Wait, so there are tapes?

Speaker 77 Well, there's the

Speaker 133 idea that Jeffrey just unknowingly

Speaker 19 acknowledged that his client may or may not have had tapes.

Speaker 128 There's the idea that Jeffrey Epstein basically taped everything in his house, like all the time.

Speaker 7 Sure, did so he's like big film guy.

Speaker 16 He was like, Yeah, release him.

Speaker 28 I'll be I'll be exonerated because I won't, I won't be a pedophile because I'm not taped being a pedophile.

Speaker 109 There you go.

Speaker 19 There you go. I have a phobia of cameras.

Speaker 52 Guys, melting down.

Speaker 46 But either way, yeah, those.

Speaker 45 I hope that I honestly do hope that she

Speaker 117 stays alive long enough that we can get some kind of fucking answers.

Speaker 19 She's probably the closest person to Jeffrey Epstein that there was.

Speaker 84 Right.

Speaker 84 Because

Speaker 19 I firmly believe that all the powerful politicians and just powerful individuals that were definitely associated with him, including the CIA, by the way, now we're getting real woke on this.

Speaker 24 No, but it's dude.

Speaker 25 He was a CIA asset.

Speaker 144 Dude, he had so many people compromised.

Speaker 19 I think that she had... as much dirt on him as he had on her, and she's probably the only person that could say that.

Speaker 19 So she probably has, even though she's a scumbag and she's done a lot of unforgiving

Speaker 19 pedophile herself and possibly well probably definitely allegedly a pedophile herself uh she has maybe a lot of the information which we need to find out so yeah just how about this let's uh keep her away from manhattan correctional just have just get some fucking answers for the victims jesus christ but yeah that's the uh new the new sport of choice on twitter is being like look at look at this guy look at trump with him look at bill clinton with him.

Speaker 96 It's like, but isn't the problem that both were?

Speaker 121 Yeah.

Speaker 19 I think, didn't Eric Trump tweet out something about like Epstein or Maxwell at one of their weddings? And then somebody replied with, well, here he is with your dad, and then he like deleted it.

Speaker 85 It's self-owned city right now because there was also the woman who said,

Speaker 134 why have we not arrested any of the alleged

Speaker 34 pedophiles who have been involved with Jeffrey Epstein, the male pedophiles who were involved with Jeffrey Epstein?

Speaker 7 Why are we going after this woman accomplice?

Speaker 63 And then someone did the this, you, and there's like 15 pictures with this woman with Gillian Maxwell.

Speaker 24 Oh my god. It was incredible.

Speaker 109 And I love that.

Speaker 83 How can you be so stupid?

Speaker 19 I love that they're going down the feminism angle with like

Speaker 19 you were only choosing to persecute Jelaine Maxwell because she's a female, because she's a strong, badass, independent woman. Fucking insane.

Speaker 127 Pretty much,

Speaker 16 if you are tweeting, defending in any way, you can almost instantly Google and find a picture with you with one of them at an art function in the the last 15 years.

Speaker 105 Jesus.

Speaker 19 Yeah, well, what's crazy about it is these people have their pictures taken more than anyone.

Speaker 84 Like, there's so many pictures out here.

Speaker 19 Like, I think that if you were to get the images and search for Leonardo DiCaprio paparazzi pictures, you're not going to find as many pictures of him like carrying cat litter out of the local beastie feast to go home and feed his kittens as you're going to find of Delaney Maxwell just next to rich and powerful people at popular like public events.

Speaker 19 It's crazy.

Speaker 106 So it's crazy.

Speaker 19 I'm glad that I don't think that we've ever been in the same room. See, now I'm questioning myself.

Speaker 33 Yeah, I'm sure she's like, this you, bro?

Speaker 19 Did she attend the one-year anniversary of BBT

Speaker 133 at Irving Plaza?

Speaker 80 I don't know.

Speaker 19 Is she a big pup punk fan?

Speaker 144 Dude, imagine if she's like sick takeies on Monday. I'm in jail, but at least I'll find out if I'm an AWL still.

Speaker 15 You know what?

Speaker 19 In the off chance that Jelaine

Speaker 19 has listened to an episode of Part of My Take, I'm revoking

Speaker 19 her award-winning listener status

Speaker 30 from her.

Speaker 19 It's like the Reggie Bush Heisman. She is no longer a listener.
She never listened to her.

Speaker 85 She could vacate that shit.

Speaker 19 Vacated. Out.
Sorry, Delaine.

Speaker 87 Good.

Speaker 23 No, not sorry. Not sorry.
God, sorry.

Speaker 24 No, don't say sorry.

Speaker 49 All right, let's get to the takies.

Speaker 57 We got some awesome awards.

Speaker 38 Great show coming up.

Speaker 51 Blake of the year is coming up.

Speaker 71 Podcast listener of the year and a bunch more.

Speaker 60 Before we do that, when it comes to meat, quality matters, but there's more to it than texture and taste.

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Speaker 96 You can customize the box uh to go with one of theirs either way you get exactly what you want and guess what it's grilling season it's summertime you want to have the best meat ready to go i know you've had this happen before where you go to grill and maybe a few more people show up to your house and you don't have enough well guess what if you have butcher box you always have enough you got that on deck butcher box is the best it's shipped directly to your door one less trip to the groceries one less trip to the butcher options like 100 grass fed and finished beef free range organic chicken heritage pork, wild-cod, Alaskan salmon, and sugar nitrate-free bacon.

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Speaker 60 And it's grilling season.

Speaker 16 Like I said, you want to have the meats on the grill.

Speaker 138 So butcherbox.com/slash take.

Speaker 39 Okay, let's get to it.

Speaker 15 The 2020 take.

Speaker 90 Okay,

Speaker 32 let's do it.

Speaker 24 We have 22 awards, 21 awards that we are going to give out for the Takey,

Speaker 4 the Takey Awards, 2019, 2020, half of 2019, 2020.

Speaker 47 Only we would create an award that is halfway through the year, therefore confusing when exactly the award should be given.

Speaker 19 I think it's pretty clear that it's just like a 12-month period.

Speaker 84 Yeah, if it happened, it happened since.

Speaker 19 And then we add in that extra month. If it happened in June of last year, we're going to count that.

Speaker 19 I'd like to just, off the top of my head, give an impromptu award of worst year of the year to 2020.

Speaker 32 Ooh, 2016, not up there?

Speaker 19 I think worst year of the year is 2020.

Speaker 71 2020, we're not even halfway.

Speaker 100 We are halfway through, but we still got six more months.

Speaker 19 Once 2020 ends, everything's going to get back to normal. It's going to be perfect.

Speaker 58 Do you think 2020 is going to run up the score on us?

Speaker 24 That's starting. That's a big question.

Speaker 19 They're getting some style points.

Speaker 30 Yeah. Second half team.

Speaker 27 Yeah, we're getting our ass kicked.

Speaker 77 We'll first give no answers.

Speaker 19 First half, we chill out. Second half, we go the fuck off.

Speaker 55 2020 is going to go the fuck off.

Speaker 147 Yeah, imagine if 2020 hasn't even gone the fuck off yet.

Speaker 19 Dude, we haven't gotten to aliens yet.

Speaker 32 Yeah, it's all going to happen. Although, aliens could be...

Speaker 71 I'd be down for the aliens at this point.

Speaker 84 Aliens would be so distraction.

Speaker 70 Spice it up.

Speaker 19 A nuclear attack would be just a heat check from 2020.

Speaker 19 One of these polar ice caps is going to melt completely.

Speaker 35 Yes, exactly.

Speaker 6 So we have our Takey of the Years, Takey Awards.

Speaker 147 I don't know why I keep saying Takey of the Year.

Speaker 54 Takey Awards.

Speaker 11 We're going to give away 21 awards.

Speaker 128 We have everything.

Speaker 147 What was the award we were just discussing that we could give away as an extra?

Speaker 24 Fuck.

Speaker 19 A bonus takey right off the bat?

Speaker 28 Yeah, we were thinking about a bonus takeie right off the bat, and it's already eluded me.

Speaker 120 Do you want to explain why the takies were even started in the first place?

Speaker 21 Oh, yes.

Speaker 62 Oh, we just actually listened back to last year's Takeies in the beginning of the show.

Speaker 16 I say, so it's time for the Takeies because it's that time of the year where we have no sports.

Speaker 108 And holy shit, would I give anything to go back to that time of the year with no sports where it's literally, think about this, we complain about no sports when there are two days on the calendar with no sports.

Speaker 24 At least this is the worst.

Speaker 30 You know what?

Speaker 19 It's not the worst thing in the world that we didn't get a batting title or a home run derby this year because

Speaker 19 we are still trying to avoid eating each other's asses. So that's like a little silver lining of the situation.
But yeah, it's like you don't have a home run derby.

Speaker 19 That week, it's the home run derby, the Espes, and then there's like one day that's filled with WNBA games. Yes.
And we looked at that week as being the worst possible time to be us.

Speaker 19 And now that week is Groundhog's Day.

Speaker 134 Yes, that week I would give anything.

Speaker 28 I would love to watch the sky and Mercury.

Speaker 28 I would love it anyway because I always love watching WNBA, but I would especially love it if they had a game this afternoon, a little matinee with what they play in the summertime when kids go to camp.

Speaker 58 But yeah, so that is why we created the awards.

Speaker 70 It is in response to the SBs that have been canceled.

Speaker 117 The SBs happened.

Speaker 22 That was a fucking...

Speaker 22 That was a fart in the wind.

Speaker 19 Do you know how many people watched? I think it was like 50,000.

Speaker 46 When you said that it was happening.

Speaker 119 Yeah.

Speaker 62 That was the last. That was the first and last I had thought of it.

Speaker 19 So there it is. Nobody thought of it.
I think if you were a host of that show, if you were an award presenter or an award receiver, you and your immediate family watched it.

Speaker 19 Besides that, I don't think anybody knows.

Speaker 120 They gave Snacks an award and they didn't even fucking tag him. Like,

Speaker 120 Sports Center tweeted it, and he was like, yo, like, can I, you know, at least put my fucking mention, put my ad in there.

Speaker 67 Oh, goddammit. Jake just said it averages 482,000 viewers.

Speaker 19 Why'd you have to send that? But that making it the smallest audience on record for the event.

Speaker 97 Still, that's a lot of fucking people.

Speaker 134 That's all, you know what?

Speaker 71 That's the gyms. They still have their TVs on from before coronavirus.

Speaker 19 Yeah, they haven't turned those off. The gyms, that's the only thing that's on in a gym right now.
There's no electricity, but those TVs are still going. You know what?

Speaker 19 This show, the Takey Awards for the first time ever, are going to have more listeners and viewers if you're Scaramucci than the Espys. So we finally passed them.

Speaker 24 Yes.

Speaker 8 Good job, guys.

Speaker 112 Yes. All right.

Speaker 25 So let's get into it.

Speaker 62 We have a ton of takies.

Speaker 4 We have 21 takeies, some great stuff, some great guests, some great celebrity

Speaker 55 presenters.

Speaker 4 But we are going to start with a nice general one to kick us off.

Speaker 86 Worst take of the year.

Speaker 114 And the nominees, and we'll discuss every nominee as we go along. So the nominees, this one is one of those worst take of the year.

Speaker 28 Some of them have been said in the past and now came through this past year.

Speaker 137 So the nominees are Dan Woken.

Speaker 63 Ooh, that's a funny name.

Speaker 63 That's a very funny name right now.

Speaker 127 So he tweeted in 2017 yesterday, a college football coach's agent called me.

Speaker 19 Literally translates to Libcat.

Speaker 118 Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 21 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 21 He called me.

Speaker 34 He called me and he said,

Speaker 11 LSU hired Ed Oseron.

Speaker 31 We laughed for a few minutes.

Speaker 71 So good job, Dan.

Speaker 143 That turned out to be the worst taste of the business.

Speaker 92 You know what, though?

Speaker 19 Like, sneakily, that's an awesome thing to do because you get so much interaction on that tweet and it keeps on giving down the road.

Speaker 31 The more LSU keeps winning,

Speaker 19 the more your tweet becomes super relevant.

Speaker 77 True.

Speaker 27 Skip Bayless for throwing away his Ezekiel Elliott jersey with his ball-level microwave.

Speaker 47 That's up there.

Speaker 19 And then he had to take it out. And then he had to take it out.

Speaker 137 John Elway

Speaker 35 saying that at age 34, Joe Flacco is just going into his prime.

Speaker 71 Joe Flacco was an absolute disaster for the Denver Broncos. Our boss, Dave Portnoy, telling TMZ

Speaker 7 that there was no chance that Tom Brady will be leaving New England.

Speaker 127 And

Speaker 71 I had a subsection for myself because we started to throw it out there.

Speaker 7 I said,

Speaker 99 my subsection is

Speaker 33 right before, 24 hours before they...

Speaker 71 Decided there was going to be no March Madness, I said I would inject myself with coronavirus if they canceled March Madness.

Speaker 19 That's a bad take. Bad take.

Speaker 150 I said thanks for coming out, Chiefs, pretty much every time they went down in the playoffs.

Speaker 150 And finally, worst take of the year when I, Laker Dan, when he started tweeting Kobe Slander 12 hours before Kobe tragically passed away, which was just bad timing.

Speaker 19 There was no way that you could have known about that.

Speaker 58 I was in the majority.

Speaker 115 The coronavirus.

Speaker 93 Laker Dan.

Speaker 19 There were signals that maybe you should not have offered. By the way, can you inject yourself with coronavirus?

Speaker 19 I think you could try to inject yourself.

Speaker 145 Eventually I will with the vaccine.

Speaker 19 Well, when you inject yourself with coronavirus, you don't get corona, right? Because you can only catch it through respiratory stuff.

Speaker 105 Yeah, true.

Speaker 19 Through the droplets.

Speaker 67 I still can't believe that they canceled everything.

Speaker 135 I mean, I can now, but the shock, the awe.

Speaker 38 Remember that?

Speaker 66 That sucked. All right, so the winner is

Speaker 143 Dan Woken for his LSU.

Speaker 71 They hired Ed Ozeron, and all we did was laugh tweet.

Speaker 108 Who's laughing now, bitch?

Speaker 8 Huh, huh, huh. Have it.

Speaker 27 Have it. So that's worst take of the year.

Speaker 32 What do we have next?

Speaker 19 Next up, we have Trend of the Year. This is always a fun one to fill out.
Kind of take a trip down memory lane and remember all the weird stuff that happened.

Speaker 19 The first nomination for Trend of the Year is Richard Milley Watches.

Speaker 104 Richard Milley?

Speaker 19 Richard Mill?

Speaker 58 Richard Mill watches.

Speaker 19 What are those? That's what Odell Beckham got fined for where those.

Speaker 30 Got it.

Speaker 19 Going for two when you're down 14.

Speaker 28 That's my personal vote because I love to just flex on people and let them know that I know math.

Speaker 19 The math says if you go for two, if you don't get it, you can do it again.

Speaker 54 Yeah, I can't wait till that.

Speaker 13 See, those are the little things I miss about sports is just learning one small fact about analytics and then telling everyone who I ever encounter for the rest of my life that small fact to try to make them think that I'm a smart person.

Speaker 19 11 personnel. One running back, one tight end.

Speaker 80 There it is.

Speaker 24 Good.

Speaker 19 The next nominee is disavowing the royal family. Yes.

Speaker 19 So whether that's your own inheritance or if maybe you are linked to visiting Jeffrey Epstein's island and you're getting kicked out of the royal family, just separating from the royal family in general is very hot in the streets.

Speaker 19 I'd like to say preemptively, I will not ever accept an invitation to the royal family. No, I still fuck with the queen.

Speaker 24 No, fuck you?

Speaker 84 Well then I don't fuck with you, Hank.

Speaker 98 Oh, that's problematic, Hank. Ever hear of the.

Speaker 34 The son is kind of a pedophile.

Speaker 74 Alleged.

Speaker 30 Ever hear of the

Speaker 19 Declaration of Independence, Hank?

Speaker 90 I have.

Speaker 19 A bunch of people signed that piece of paper and a bunch of people paid the ultimate price for it to give you your freedoms and your liberty.

Speaker 133 And you're turning your back on them,

Speaker 19 you're subjugating yourself to the United Kingdom like a bitch.

Speaker 134 Do we let Billy talk right now?

Speaker 22 Because I feel like it's dangerous.

Speaker 34 As soon as Epstein's Island comes up, Billy's got a stick that's...

Speaker 141 Hank's what the colonists used to call a royalist.

Speaker 136 Ooh, nice.

Speaker 44 Royalist. Got him.

Speaker 136 Let's target him.

Speaker 93 That's right. That's in vogue.

Speaker 84 Cash collection.

Speaker 70 Disavowing.

Speaker 92 Yeah.

Speaker 26 And have Harry and Megan Markle moved back stateside now?

Speaker 30 Are they here? I think so.

Speaker 19 Did they move to Canada first?

Speaker 19 Yeah, they're doing like a lukewarm adjustment period.

Speaker 19 You can't just jump into the United States from the UK. You got to spend some time up in Labrador.

Speaker 14 Shout out them, though, for standing up to their creepy ass uncle.

Speaker 19 Next nominee is cheating.

Speaker 19 So just cheating in general, whether you're the Houston Astros or you're Tristan Thompson and Chloe Kardashian.

Speaker 99 Scott Van Pelk is playing NCAA 14.

Speaker 19 That's right, using sliders.

Speaker 19 Only Scott would get away with something like that.

Speaker 19 And the winner is

Speaker 115 cheating.

Speaker 23 Cheating! Hot new trend.

Speaker 19 Also, shout out to the New York Yankees because their fans were the first ones to jump on the asphalt. Yes.

Speaker 19 Turns out, you might want to clean out your house before you start going over to somebody else's house.

Speaker 7 Cheating was very hot.

Speaker 27 Cheating was very hot this year.

Speaker 120 Shout out to Alex Bregman for coming on the show.

Speaker 120 It was a real shame that baseball didn't play because he came on the show and was like, I think people should, you know, retaliate by hitting players right before that came out.

Speaker 120 And And then everyone was like, oh, you're going to get smoked.

Speaker 35 Unintentional.

Speaker 7 I think we did this a few months ago.

Speaker 150 The unintentional beneficiaries of coronavirus, Houston Astros, definitely one of them.

Speaker 74 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 129 Like, no one's thought about how they need to get beaned a million times.

Speaker 19 That's going to be so fun seeing baseball come back and being like, oh, yeah, we hate the Astros.

Speaker 36 Imagine if they break the record for hit by a batter in a 60-game series, like break the 162-game records.

Speaker 19 I think we can do it. I believe strongly enough in the unwritten rules of baseball.

Speaker 102 Hell yes. All right.

Speaker 34 Next up, we have Football Guy of the Year.

Speaker 71 This year, been a lot of football guys we love.

Speaker 11 So

Speaker 111 the nominees will be Will Muschamp, who said the quote, Thanksgiving is a meal, not a day, when talking about whether his players would practice or whether he would watch film.

Speaker 34 So he's pretty much in and out.

Speaker 86 That's just a regular meal. We're going to get in.

Speaker 75 We're going to get out.

Speaker 63 We're going to get back to looking like a sweaty dog watching all this film.

Speaker 127 Dan Mullen, not for letting his wife kiss the entire team, but he let everyone know that he learned to multiply by sevens before any other number so he could count TDs.

Speaker 113 So that's a big-time football guy.

Speaker 19 Huge move.

Speaker 71 Coach Ed Oseron, our good friend, for winning the national title and telling all the haters to suck that tiger dick, bitch.

Speaker 19 And for going jogging at high noon every day to make friends with the sun in anticipation.

Speaker 84 Fuck you.

Speaker 58 Yeah, roll-tide, what?

Speaker 27 Fuck you, all-time clip uh just pretty much having one of the best football teams of all time and just shoving it down the haters throats and then the winnipeg blue bombers fan chris matthew who hadn't worn pants in 18 years until his team won the great cup we had him on the show uh he then put on pants that guy all-time football guy of the we year uh winner is

Speaker 113 we have sound for this right we have sound for this the winner is we have it we have the person who is uh accepting this drum roll did it keep putting in drum rolls we have changed

Speaker 151 Thank you for your friendship. You guys are phenomenal.

Speaker 24 Go Tigers.

Speaker 19 Go Tigers.

Speaker 92 Okay.

Speaker 45 Coach O.

Speaker 104 I just love hearing him say.

Speaker 19 Thank you, boys, for your friendship.

Speaker 10 I love him so much.

Speaker 147 We actually have to send.

Speaker 67 We should start sending shit.

Speaker 19 Send the trophy out. Let's actually make the trophy this year because we have Jake Marsh.
We have to send it to, yeah, Jake is our wild card, so he can actually follow through on our empty promises.

Speaker 19 Right. So we owe a trophy to Jim Harbaugh.
We owe a trophy to Coach O.

Speaker 19 Who else? What is the trophy?

Speaker 52 I think it's it's just a football.

Speaker 125 Yeah, I can't remember what we actually designed it, and then we just ran out of gas.

Speaker 19 I think it's just a football.

Speaker 35 It might be just a football.

Speaker 4 I've never seen.

Speaker 31 Maybe we just sign a football and give it to him.

Speaker 109 Yeah.

Speaker 19 We'll put it like inside of a glass case or something like that.

Speaker 77 Dip it in gold. Lou, a bronze, or a

Speaker 121 football.

Speaker 25 A fondue set with a football.

Speaker 4 See if we can get any of these coaches to eat a football.

Speaker 24 I'm down for that.

Speaker 104 Yeah, Andy Reid would absolutely eat a football.

Speaker 21 But what is this? Yeah, okay.

Speaker 24 Deep fried Duncan and cheese.

Speaker 19 You're good to go.

Speaker 31 Little cubes of football.

Speaker 8 Okay, next up.

Speaker 19 Next up, we got the rising star.

Speaker 19 The rising star of the year award. And do we have a cameo for this one? Oh, yeah.
Okay, we have a special guest presenter. I can say that the nominees are Jason Whitlock for entering the take game.

Speaker 19 Yes. Starting to blog.

Speaker 19 Woody Page.

Speaker 44 Still calling it his column, though.

Speaker 25 That's right. Got to give him a shout.
Got to give Jason Whitlock a shout out.

Speaker 71 Even though he's just blogging, which we've all been doing for like 20 years, he will write on his tweet, check out my column today.

Speaker 70 Dude, that's not what a column is, but I don't care.

Speaker 19 No, a column is a blog for boomers, and so it works out. Uh, Woody Page for starting a podcast for inventing podcasting, yes, and then our darling Jake Marsh as the Rising Star of the Year.

Speaker 19 I think he was nominated last year for this award as well,

Speaker 19 but for taking Darren Revelle head-on, apply directly to the forehead.

Speaker 19 This is not your content, Darren. This is Jake Marsh, and he's coming for your job.

Speaker 56 Yes.

Speaker 58 Okay, Hank, you want to play us?

Speaker 24 The winner?

Speaker 152 La la la la la.

Speaker 24 Welcome.

Speaker 153 I'm Kato Kalen.

Speaker 154 La la la la la la la la la.

Speaker 155 From one recurring guest to another, I am proud to announce the Tanky

Speaker 152 for 2020 Meteorising Star is none other than Woody Page.

Speaker 152 I know there's a lot of hoopla.

Speaker 155 As a matter of fact, this is such a popular award. I wrote a song for you, and it's a congratulatory song called Takey with Jakey.

Speaker 19 You really took some liberties with his candy.

Speaker 153 The 2020 takey goes to Woody Page.

Speaker 153 The ballots were counted and it's no farce

Speaker 153 If you don't believe me just ask Jake Marsh

Speaker 153 so thank you for watching this year's award for the take key

Speaker 153 This song would be longer, but I drank four Gatorades and now I gotta go pee pee

Speaker 153 congratulations woody page from kato kalen and of course one more award you won

Speaker 152 the little kato award he's missing a hand but there's a high five and this is your award woody

Speaker 153 jake you guys get a group hug

Speaker 153 whoa not so tight with little kato all right congrats i love you guys woody

Speaker 73 Bye.

Speaker 19 Kato really, he goes above and beyond and delivers on those cameos, doesn't he?

Speaker 8 Well, I was going to say

Speaker 137 Cameo is great because we find out who is on cameo to make a quick buck and who is on cameo because they just desperately want to talk to another human being.

Speaker 114 Kato, obviously, in the latter, and then the people who just do the bare minimum, like get in, get out, let me take your money.

Speaker 131 There's a lot of those.

Speaker 19 I mean, I think that song is the song of the summer. Yes.

Speaker 21 Yes, absolutely. Wow.

Speaker 87 What a track.

Speaker 63 We'll put it on Spotify.

Speaker 19 who's kato kato kalen was oj's house guest he like lived in the you in the in the 90s yeah pretty yes if you had been if you had been witness to like a the murder of the century you would have been kato kalen if your hair was a little nicer uh-huh

Speaker 131 i'm lost okay yep exactly you are kato kalen you are kato kalen uh all right next up uh thank you kato kalen for that wonderful rendition of whatever the fuck that song was next up we have uh the award for family-friendly chain restaurant offering a sports bar style setting for American food and arcade games of the year.

Speaker 24 What an award.

Speaker 35 Who could it be?

Speaker 46 So the nominees are Chuck E.

Speaker 159 Cheese

Speaker 19 and Davin Busters.

Speaker 46 Yeah. And the winner is

Speaker 70 Davin Busters because we love going to Busters and we haven't been in forever.

Speaker 127 We're going to put in the all-time Monday reading, The Buster's Guy.

Speaker 49 So here it is.

Speaker 7 If you missed it, the throwback.

Speaker 126 Let's throw it back to Buster's Guy.

Speaker 54 Here it is.

Speaker 30 My,

Speaker 27 she's 25, boyfriend, he's 27 of two years is obsessed with Dave and Busters.

Speaker 58 Fair. So far, I don't see a problem.

Speaker 144 I really don't know where to start with this, and it sounds very petty, but I am at my wit's end dealing with my boyfriend.

Speaker 114 Some context, we have been together for two years, and he is overall fantastic.

Speaker 28 Very thoughtful, kind, funny, interesting, and responsible.

Speaker 95 For instance, he always brings me my favorite snacks when he goes out without me even asking for them. That's a try-hard move.

Speaker 34 He'll comfort me after a tough day at work.

Speaker 95 I work at a call center and get some crazy ones.

Speaker 60 For the most part, he is also very respectful of me.

Speaker 34 This sounds like a great relationship, PFT.

Speaker 14 We were both raised Catholic, and he's very active in the church and an overall stand-up guy, which I admire a lot.

Speaker 4 Literally, the only problem in our relationship is this obsession with Dave and Busters.

Speaker 19 I'd say that he's the total package.

Speaker 130 This is the total package.

Speaker 28 I'm only telling you guys all this so you don't just tell me to break up with him because although we have this problem, I really don't want to leave him.

Speaker 34 I guess I will just get to the bad part.

Speaker 99 My boyfriend absolutely must go to Davin Buster's once a week or else he throws a tantrum.

Speaker 144 I am not exaggerating when I use the word tantrum.

Speaker 65 We are talking crying, stomping, etc.

Speaker 7 It's bad.

Speaker 67 That's, again, Davin Busters is awesome.

Speaker 80 Yeah. So this is a little crazy.

Speaker 19 None of this behavior is abnormal to me.

Speaker 63 He will beg and plead and state that the only thing he wants is for us to quote go to busters

Speaker 19 why are you leaving dave out of it though like i i i admire the fact that he's shortened it that he's busters that he's got his own pet name for dave and busters basically you're in a relationship with three guys right now your boyfriend buster and dave dave and it's been more than a if it's been more than a week he'll say we haven't been in quote forever

Speaker 104 I love this guy.

Speaker 45 I want to be best friends with this guy.

Speaker 19 This guy is giving off major, like, I grew up in like some weird cult-like environment vibes, right?

Speaker 19 And all these prizes are Dave and Buster's Liz.

Speaker 21 He's a great mural champion. Yeah, I like this.
I like this.

Speaker 19 It was his first introduction to electricity, and so he just fell in love with it.

Speaker 67 Yeah, scratch MJ's competitiveness.

Speaker 63 It's this guy's competitiveness.

Speaker 70 I've tried talking it through with him.

Speaker 108 I've suggested other restaurants, even other barcades, but it has to be

Speaker 19 the same. They don't have the same burgers.
They don't have the power play card. They don't have the million-dollar midway.
There's so many things. Yes.
So many games. Take me to a Chuck E.

Speaker 19 Cheese, and I will throw a fucking fit.

Speaker 78 Also, new barcades, they always do like the hipster throwback games, like, oh, we have the Simpsons game.

Speaker 34 Don't you love it? Nostalgia!

Speaker 70 David Busters has everything, they have the hits, they have the old stuff, they have the good new stuff.

Speaker 25 You got to go to David Busters.

Speaker 19 Just stay away from the deer hunter that makes you accidentally play zombies sometimes. Because, like, there's nothing worse than going up to a nice game of Big Buck Hunter.

Speaker 30 Oh, and then it's just a

Speaker 19 select your game and they give you zombies.

Speaker 35 Shout out to anyone who still has cruising USA.

Speaker 63 When I tell him I don't really enjoy going with him and that he could go alone, he says something like, What do you mean?

Speaker 115 You love busters.

Speaker 78 I give you all the prizes.

Speaker 83 This guy's giving away the prizes.

Speaker 19 It's not even about the material things, it's about the process that he really loves.

Speaker 34 That's more than just a stuffed animal.

Speaker 137 Yeah, that's more than

Speaker 34 the bouncy ball, the crazy bouncy balls.

Speaker 19 Yeah, it's more than the weird jelly hand things that you can slap and stick on people. Those are only available

Speaker 19 being redeemed for tickets. You can't buy those on the normal market.

Speaker 25 You think you should buy beanie babies,

Speaker 34 knockoff beanie babies these days?

Speaker 70 Hell no.

Speaker 84 Keychains?

Speaker 19 Yeah, you better believe he's got keychains.

Speaker 46 When we do go, we spend a ridiculous amount of money, which I split with him.

Speaker 33 Now you are a good girlfriend.

Speaker 135 And he makes me follow him around to each game to play together.

Speaker 70 That's it. Oh, wait, no, no.

Speaker 39 I pressed him about it, and the only explanation he's been able to give me is that he had his ninth birthday at D ⁇ B's and considers it, quote, the single best day of his life

Speaker 19 you know holy shit I love

Speaker 19 this guy's Jim Harbaugh yeah he might be this

Speaker 19 absolutely something that Jim Harbaugh would do shout out this guy because there's nothing like dominating something and then being like for the rest of your life saying I just want to do that again that specific thing and you know what like the more I think about it like planning your entire week around one day of drinking food and watching cool like video games and and sports.

Speaker 104 That's exactly what we do with football.

Speaker 19 Yeah.

Speaker 62 It's also, what's the alternative?

Speaker 60 Going through every sitcom you've ever watched and figuring out how everyone's problematic?

Speaker 63 I'd go to Dave and Buster's.

Speaker 19 You know what's depressing is driving past a Davin Busters and not going. Yeah, be like, man, I really wish I could go in.

Speaker 19 And everything that you do for the rest of your drive will not be as fun as going into David Busters.

Speaker 70 As going into Busters.

Speaker 44 How do I help him move past this?

Speaker 4 I really want to keep dating this man.

Speaker 113 I know nostalgia can be a powerful force, but this is absolutely unacceptable.

Speaker 39 Please help.

Speaker 117 Too long, didn't read.

Speaker 95 My boyfriend is obsessed with DNBs and won't accept not going there at least once a week.

Speaker 67 We have a great relationship other than that.

Speaker 80 Blah, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 113 I don't see any problem with this.

Speaker 46 No, you need to just.

Speaker 19 You're dating the coolest guy on the planet.

Speaker 78 Yes.

Speaker 33 The only way that you can actually beat this is if you get better at Dave and Busters than him.

Speaker 44 Yeah. That's the only way.

Speaker 45 You cannot tell him not to go to Busters.

Speaker 144 You cannot tell him, hey, we, you know, let's skip a week because then he'll say, we haven't been there in forever.

Speaker 160 You can't have him go solo.

Speaker 34 The only solution, if you really don't want to go to Busters, is you have to get the high score on every single fucking game.

Speaker 19 That's exactly right.

Speaker 19 You have to win more tickets than him one time. Yes.
That's really it.

Speaker 111 And he will never go again.

Speaker 19 He'll never go again. Yeah.
Or just like, what if they go on a vacation? They probably can't go on a vacation.

Speaker 160 I think they probably go to vacations around Davin Busters.

Speaker 19 Only in cities that have David Busters in them. Like, you can't go overseas.

Speaker 12 They've been to Tampa many times.

Speaker 80 Yeah, geez.

Speaker 19 Yeah. There's one on every block.
It's like Starbucks in Tampa.

Speaker 137 Oh, man. All right.

Speaker 71 That's our Monday reading.

Speaker 4 Shout out that guy.

Speaker 84 If someone knows that guy, I would love to talk to him.

Speaker 19 Let's go to Davin Buster's with him. Yes.

Speaker 19 In New York.

Speaker 134 We will fly you out.

Speaker 82 I love anybody that's

Speaker 19 that passionate about any weird small things. Yes.
I just find them fascinating.

Speaker 9 Someone has to know this guy because there can't be that many guys walking around being like, I need to go to Buster's because of the best day of my life.

Speaker 160 Well, quote, the single best day of his life.

Speaker 19 I mean, the staff at the Davin Buster's definitely knows him. He's a regular.
He's the only one that walks into a Davin Buster's and says, I'll have the usual.

Speaker 19 And honestly, there's nothing cooler cooler than being a regular at a bar no you want to go to a place where everyone knows your name you show up and everyone's like hey here he comes he probably changes his name to davin buster maybe maybe

Speaker 21 dave buster

Speaker 19 shout out davin busters way to go way to keep it going through a pandemic unbelievable okay what do we got next pft uh next up is the premature celebration of the year So we've got a few nominees here.

Speaker 19 First is Olmus in Mississippi State, just the state of Mississippi, the Egg Bowl. Yes.
Gets the Lifetime Achievement Award.

Speaker 19 I'll say that right now for a continuously premature celebration ending that they always have every single year.

Speaker 19 The second nominee is the 49ers for putting up an Instagram picture of their interception in the Super Bowl and saying hanging it in the Louvre before they won. Oof.

Speaker 19 And then the last nominee is the state of Florida.

Speaker 120 Just the state of Florida.

Speaker 19 Yep.

Speaker 84 Just pulling it into Sean Jackson.

Speaker 19 We're ready to go.

Speaker 19 The take he goes to

Speaker 19 the 49ers. Yeah.
The 49ers. Just because they put a filter on it and everything and had it all captioned and properly hashtagged with the right location.

Speaker 149 Just tough.

Speaker 19 Brutal. Just a tough way to end the season.

Speaker 13 Kyle Shanahan.

Speaker 135 I kind of, I want Kyle Shanahan to someday win a Super Bowl, but him just being the big game.

Speaker 147 Like, he did, that was a torch passing of from Andy Reed to Kyle Shanahan. Like, we need one guy who, in every sport, who constantly can't get over the hump.

Speaker 95 Yep. And if he's that guy, so be it.

Speaker 41 Yeah.

Speaker 147 It just happens to be Kyle Shanahan.

Speaker 19 I kind of hope that it sticks around with him for a while just because it's fun. It's fun to see different new ways that he could possibly do that.
Right.

Speaker 63 And it's fun to just have that storyline of like who can get over the big hump.

Speaker 29 Like you need that in sports.

Speaker 52 All right. Next up, we have postseason tournament that Duke Basketball didn't qualify for of the year.

Speaker 33 The nominees are NCAA tournament.

Speaker 19 But wait, Big Cat, didn't they cancel the NCAA tournament?

Speaker 111 No, they did, but unfortunately, Duke said they were not going to play in the NCAA tournament before the NCAA tournament was canceled, therefore eliminating themselves.

Speaker 19 So Duke did not qualify for the next year. Yeah, with the NCAA tournament is what you're saying.

Speaker 52 Yeah, they lehide themselves.

Speaker 104 Got it. Okay.

Speaker 4 The NIT,

Speaker 78 the CBI,

Speaker 71 and I think there's one other.

Speaker 31 CIT. There it is, Jake.
All right.

Speaker 134 We have a cameo.

Speaker 27 We have a special guest presentation from here.

Speaker 31 Let's get it.

Speaker 23 Here it is.

Speaker 161 Hi, I'm Cassius Stanley from the 2019-2020 Duke Blue Devils. Here to present the take he for postseason tournament that the 2019-2020 Duke basketball team didn't qualify for of the year.

Speaker 161 And the winner is the 2019-2020 NCAA tournament.

Speaker 21 He was so confused.

Speaker 135 Cassius Stanley, who was on that team,

Speaker 17 announcing his own team not not making the tournament we should have done an AOC of the year have Hank presume ah shit where'd he transfer to uh DePaul yeah that's right so you're gonna get you get some good stuff there or Creighton maybe maybe Creighton sounds right Creighton sounds right Creighton yeah yeah so Duke eliminated themselves before the tournament was canceled Hank has to get a cat nope they didn't even qualify it was probably their year too that's the worst part

Speaker 120 no it was a crazy it was a crazier year in NCAA this year okay

Speaker 116 that is why my vermont's here

Speaker 162 uh before we do the next uh award pft you want to do a quick ad yes i would love to hey it's pft here reminding you that boars head makes game day entertaining elevated and effortless whether you order catering platters ahead from your local boars head retailer or you create your own spread at home with boars head premium deli meats and cheeses you are sure to impress your guests My favorites like oven gold turkey or blazing buffalo style chicken paired with their classic Vermont cheddar or creamy monster cheese are sure to score big and help me elevate my entertainment every time, whether it's for a tailgate or a home gating celebration.

Speaker 162 Seriously, guys, it's a game-changing flavor for every gathering. Boarshead, committed to craft since 1905.

Speaker 19 All right, back to the Takey Awards. This is one of my favorite awards that we give out every year.

Speaker 84 Mine too, yeah.

Speaker 19 From the start, we gave out Lib of the Year, the Lib of the Year Award. And I believe Chris Long is a three-time recurring champion.
Is he? I think so.

Speaker 21 I don't think he's ever been beaten.

Speaker 19 Damn. Tough to find a bigger lib than Chris Long.
Beast. So Lib Man, Chris Long is nominated again.

Speaker 24 Okay.

Speaker 19 Also nominated for Lib of the Year, Mike Gundy. Yes.
For not wearing an OAN shirt.

Speaker 70 All the times he didn't wear one of the shirts.

Speaker 19 Well, he stopped wearing OAN shirts. So Lib of the Year nominee, Mike Gundy.
Lib of the Year nominee, Drew Brees.

Speaker 19 Lib of the Year nominee, Billy Football.

Speaker 140 Yep.

Speaker 19 For rehoming the raccoons instead of killing them. Big animal rights activist.

Speaker 133 Yep.

Speaker 19 Billy Football, nominee for Liby of the Year.

Speaker 19 You cock.

Speaker 19 Billy, back in the day when men were men,

Speaker 19 you could take care of trash panties with our bare hands.

Speaker 104 We didn't strangle them.

Speaker 19 We didn't take them over to daycare across the street, okay?

Speaker 29 Yep. This is

Speaker 84 Libby Football.

Speaker 15 I don't have

Speaker 19 and the Lib of the Year nominee, the last one on the list is NASCAR.

Speaker 19 NASCAR famous libs over over at NASCAR. So let's find out who won Lib of the Year.

Speaker 24 Hey, you do it, Jake. It's big time Tommy.

Speaker 82 And it is my honor to announce the Lib of the Year award.

Speaker 151 We got a strong field this year.

Speaker 24 We got Chris Long, Mike Gundy, Billy Football, and NASCAR.

Speaker 116 Drumroll, please.

Speaker 24 And the award goes to...

Speaker 24 It's a tie between everyone. everyone.

Speaker 151 Everyone gets a participation trophy.

Speaker 24 You know why?

Speaker 151 Because that's the old school way.

Speaker 151 Have a great summer, guys.

Speaker 116 OS for life.

Speaker 30 Think it easy. Oh, I love it.
I love it. We got to get it.

Speaker 81 Congratulations.

Speaker 24 We got to make sure. Congrats for you.

Speaker 90 I got it. Congrats, bro.

Speaker 81 Yeah, you're part of it. You're part of it.

Speaker 93 Yeah.

Speaker 73 No tie. I'm not.
Okay.

Speaker 19 Everyone actually got it. We all shared.

Speaker 19 Every listener, every person in America has shared now in the Lib of the Year Award.

Speaker 41 Yes.

Speaker 19 Actually, no, I think it's just the nominees. I think only if you were nominated.

Speaker 24 Yeah.

Speaker 37 So, we got to make sure that we.

Speaker 120 Is Chris now your favorite Long Brother?

Speaker 41 Yeah. No, just Kyle.
No, me and Kylie.

Speaker 106 You guys share a trophy together in an ideology.

Speaker 74 Yeah.

Speaker 35 You guys are Eskimo bros of a Lib of the Year trophy.

Speaker 21 Yeah. Dude,

Speaker 73 he's a.

Speaker 105 You just.

Speaker 19 You're fucking the same tax returns.

Speaker 24 Dude, I just.

Speaker 115 I'm just.

Speaker 19 Billy, just say, say something nice.

Speaker 30 Yeah, say something, Lib.

Speaker 124 No.

Speaker 158 I'm not.

Speaker 58 Go ahead. Thank the people.

Speaker 24 I'm not.

Speaker 123 Thank you so much, big time, Tommy,

Speaker 141 for the shout-out. I'm a huge fan of your videos, old-school style.

Speaker 98 I'm such a big

Speaker 28 fan of his videos that you just don't even have the line correct.

Speaker 10 No, it's old-school way, OS, for life.

Speaker 120 Billy's just so overcome right now with his win.

Speaker 133 I'm so like

Speaker 133 honored.

Speaker 19 This lib cuckery is just in my brain.

Speaker 90 I know, there's no cuckery.

Speaker 24 This is a way of life of the year. Yeah, it is.
It's a disease.

Speaker 116 It's a brain disease.

Speaker 73 Is this libcuck of the year?

Speaker 19 Have you seen the bumper stickers, Billy? It's a mental disorder.

Speaker 8 Dude, do I need to go to the doctor?

Speaker 58 Yes, probably.

Speaker 136 Okay. All right.
Now, lib of the year awards.

Speaker 50 All right, the next takeie that we have is the takey award for question we asked Rob Lowe to ask Magic Johnson on Rob Lowe's new podcast when he had Magic Johnson on as a guest.

Speaker 19 of the year. Of the year.

Speaker 15 And the winner is Rob Lowe asking Magic Johnson the question that we asked him.

Speaker 32 Let's play that question.

Speaker 139 I have another question I want to ask you.

Speaker 42 Okay.

Speaker 139 So I did, do you know, pardon my take? You know that, that, that great.

Speaker 69 Right? Yes.

Speaker 139 So those guys are huge fans of yours, as you know.

Speaker 92 Right.

Speaker 139 And they're like, you need to, I said, I'm. I said, look, you're the best sports podcast.
I'm going to be interviewing Magic. He's going to be one of my first guests.
Do you have have any questions?

Speaker 139 Do you have any thoughts? And they're like, you have to ask him.

Speaker 139 Does he write his own tweets?

Speaker 158 And I was like, what? That's of all the things,

Speaker 139 of all the things that you could ask one of the greatest men, players,

Speaker 139 that, but that's what they wanted to ask. And so here I am.
I'm asking, what's why are they obsessed with your tweets? I don't know.

Speaker 165 No, I have somebody write them them out.

Speaker 165 I tell them what I want to say and they write them.

Speaker 139 That's what I, yeah, that's what I kind of do.

Speaker 139 I mean, do I need to go back into your Twitter feed and see if it looks like somebody else took over your feed and there's crazy like Charles Barkley Smack Talk going on?

Speaker 23 Am I missing something?

Speaker 165 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 165 I don't get into that on my Twitter feed.

Speaker 42 No.

Speaker 19 We're going to continue with the takeies in a second, but before we do.

Speaker 1 What's up, guys? It's Big Cat here making making my Irish entrance with Proper Number 12 Irish Whiskey. How do you make an Irish entrance, you ask?

Speaker 2 It starts with a shot of Proper Number 12 Irish Whiskey because Real Friends don't let Friends Irish exit a party without a story to tell.

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Speaker 2 Mix it up with some ginger ale for a classic and refreshing proper ginger.

Speaker 2 In the mood for something smooth but a little sweeter, try proper Irish apple, a delicious blend of proper's award-winning Irish whiskey with crisp, fresh notes of apple.

Speaker 2 So get out there and make your Irish entrance. Anything else just wouldn't be proper.

Speaker 19 And now back to the takies.

Speaker 19 The next award is the Canadian of the Year. The Canadian of the Year, we've got some great nominees.
We've got Don Cherry nominated for his service to Canada. Yep.

Speaker 19 We have Lucas Magnata from Don't Fuck With Cats. Remember that? Hey, you guys remember that show?

Speaker 84 Yeah.

Speaker 19 Lucas Magnata, Canadian of the Year. And then Luke Wilson for wearing the part of my take shirt on Hard Knocks, unfortunately, as he was cut by the Turk.
Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter.

Speaker 19 He got back in the league.

Speaker 19 He joined the Seahawks later on in the year. Yep.
And he was rocking the Canadian Tuxedos left and right all year long.

Speaker 4 God, that feels like 10 years ago.

Speaker 19 It does. And it was less than a year.

Speaker 19 I was actually thinking about that the other day because I was complaining that we don't have any football without realizing that literally every year at this time of year, I don't have football and I complain about it.

Speaker 19 But for some reason, it feels like it's been longer for me to create out football.

Speaker 19 I'm just going to assume that it has for some reason. I don't know why.
But the Canadian of the Year award goes to

Speaker 93 Luke Wilson. Yeah.

Speaker 19 Sorry to the other nominees, but Luke Wilson, good friend of the program. Congratulations, Luke.

Speaker 67 By the way, if anyone can get any of these people to give an acceptance speech, we are more than welcome to try to get them.

Speaker 113 I'm sure we can get Luke Wilson to give us an acceptance speech, but hopefully the days after we'll live off the high of the takeies and get some acceptance speeches rolling in.

Speaker 146 Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 146 All right.

Speaker 52 Next up, we have Invention of the Year.

Speaker 32 This is a loaded class this year.

Speaker 97 Number one, ListerQuill by Hank, by Henry Lockwood.

Speaker 71 ListerQuill combining Listerine and Nyquil for the perfect knock you out, clean your teeth.

Speaker 25 Now, do you brush your teeth with Listerine?

Speaker 27 Like, do you brush your teeth as well?

Speaker 74 No.

Speaker 84 Okay. You don't brush your teeth.

Speaker 8 So Now just realizing that they brush your teeth.

Speaker 19 You're not going to hack for you to not have to brush your teeth.

Speaker 120 No, no, no. You brush your teeth.
Like what you, you're it's cutting out a step of your nighttime routine.

Speaker 29 Got it. Brush your teeth.
Uh-huh.

Speaker 120 Take mouthwash, drink a little Nyquil.

Speaker 19 Hank, do you?

Speaker 120 This cuts out steps two and three. Got it.

Speaker 19 Do you normally swallow Listerine?

Speaker 136 No.

Speaker 19 But if it's mixed with Nyquil, if you cut it with Nyquil, you can't.

Speaker 30 No, you guys, the technology, you guys aren't up to speed on the technology.

Speaker 120 The technology is that you don't have to swallow it. It just seeps into your gums when you

Speaker 130 ah, so you still spit the whole thing out.

Speaker 19 Yes, so you're not swallowing the NyQuil.

Speaker 136 No,

Speaker 24 okay. Got it.

Speaker 106 Got it. Okay.

Speaker 23 It seeps into your gums.

Speaker 24 Does the Nyquil?

Speaker 123 I think you should brush your teeth after that, though.

Speaker 19 Yeah, probably. Because it would taste nasty.

Speaker 106 Do you guys do mouthwash before you brush your teeth?

Speaker 19 No. Sometimes.
I don't really have to.

Speaker 119 Why are you drinking so much NyQuil?

Speaker 117 Yeah, why are you drinking so much NyQuil?

Speaker 120 I'm not. But when I do, I'm like, damn.

Speaker 29 Wish I could cut it out of the business.

Speaker 24 It's taking so long.

Speaker 114 Okay. All right, that's one of our adventures of the year.

Speaker 71 Number two is...

Speaker 136 Yeah, why you guys got so many questions?

Speaker 106 Crazy.

Speaker 145 Coronavirus vaccine, which surely has to have.

Speaker 111 We're taping this a week before.

Speaker 58 It came out.

Speaker 57 I was going to assume it came out.

Speaker 104 Yeah, it came out last week. That's awesome.

Speaker 24 Sports are bad.

Speaker 36 NFL 100 logo, which was so fucking cool.

Speaker 21 Yeah, it was.

Speaker 19 It's going to look weird this year, won't it?

Speaker 24 Yeah, no, although it could do one-on-one.

Speaker 19 The new football looks awesome.

Speaker 106 Yeah.

Speaker 19 With the red, white, and blue logo on it instead.

Speaker 106 Sick.

Speaker 32 And then finally, Elon Musk's truck that was supposed to be like the greatest defense truck of all time.

Speaker 13 Then he threw a rocket and the window cracked.

Speaker 27 That was a great invention.

Speaker 70 So the winner is, again, we're taping this a little bit before, but the coronavirus vaccine, which surely has come out.

Speaker 19 We did it, science. I can't believe we're, this is unbelievable.
Shout out, Bill Gates.

Speaker 52 Appreciate it.

Speaker 26 Yeah, they said February at the earliest, but nope, they got it by July 6th.

Speaker 115 Great job.

Speaker 19 Thank you to Billy Football and his idol, George Soros, for funding the creation of the vaccine.

Speaker 23 Good job, guys.

Speaker 69 Love you, Billy. Thank you.

Speaker 24 No.

Speaker 145 Okay, next up.

Speaker 19 Next up, we have

Speaker 19 this category is the PFT's Dad of the Year award.

Speaker 106 My favorite.

Speaker 23 There are some great nominees.

Speaker 19 We had a new challenger enter the fray this past year. So the nominees are Mike Florio from Pro Football Talk, my internet dad.
Marlin's man

Speaker 19 has entered the chat this year. Why? Because he hung out with my mom for a while and they're good friends.
Interesting. And then my real dad.
Okay. So who knows who's going to be?

Speaker 19 Do we have the presenter for us?

Speaker 154 Hi, everyone. This is Marlon's Man.
As you know, I'm a barstool believer.

Speaker 156 Kind of the envelope, please.

Speaker 154 So, the 2020

Speaker 154 Take Ye Best Father of PFT of the Year Award goes to...

Speaker 154 Mr. Commenter.

Speaker 24 You're the winner.

Speaker 154 Yay!

Speaker 156 Okay.

Speaker 154 Hey, by the way, PFT, the World Series Champions Nationals are looking pretty good right now. Tell your mom, I sent my love.

Speaker 47 Shooter, shoot.

Speaker 130 Oh, real dad.

Speaker 124 Yeah.

Speaker 133 All right.

Speaker 19 I'm very, very happy that Merlin's man is not my father of the year.

Speaker 117 Right, but he announced it, so he kind of still is. He's your daddy of the year.

Speaker 19 He's my dad's dad of the year.

Speaker 41 Right.

Speaker 74 Right.

Speaker 77 He's your grandpapa. Grandpapa, yeah.

Speaker 19 Watch out for the elevators.

Speaker 136 It's great, great-grandpapa.

Speaker 131 That's a deep cut.

Speaker 33 You got to earn your AWL if you get what happened just now.

Speaker 19 My great-great-grandfather had an elevator fall on his head.

Speaker 30 All right.

Speaker 34 Next up.

Speaker 130 Pretty simple explanation.

Speaker 76 We got Thirst Trap of the Year.

Speaker 94 So the nominees for Thirst Trap of the Year are Doja Cat, who promised to...

Speaker 23 It was a literal trap.

Speaker 92 Yeah.

Speaker 43 Literal trap.

Speaker 38 Free the nipples. She was going to dump them out if her album hit one.

Speaker 65 It did, then she said, ha ha, just fucking with all you guys.

Speaker 117 Pretty much uh giving the entire internet blue balls which how stupid is it that i i just love the idea that uh a bunch of people voted a million times to see some nipples while on online where they could get all the porn in the world and then when she's like ha I'm not showing you my nipples they're like fuck you how could you do this I can't comb anymore you know what though it's just like it's you always want what you can't have so the first time you see a woman and she's got a shirt on you're like I really want to see the Tata.

Speaker 19 But at the first time you see her and she's already got them out, you're like, oh, whatever.

Speaker 19 You're just

Speaker 19 giving me the milk. I won't buy the cow.

Speaker 13 Brooks Kepka, his GQ spread, where he was looking really, really hot and trying extra hard to be the heartthrob of the golf world.

Speaker 71 Suck our dicks, Brandon Chamblis.

Speaker 19 The chimpanzee blow.

Speaker 14 And then we have finally Julian Edelman for his Father's Day thirst trap, where he said, happy Father's Day, Dad, and then posted a gif where he had his shirt off catching a football and his dad, you could barely see his dad in the background.

Speaker 68 All right, and the winner, we have a special guest presenter.

Speaker 27 Here he is.

Speaker 72 Hey, everyone, Chris Hansen here of Hansen vs. Predators to catch a predator and have a seat with Chris Hansen.
I'm going to need you all to take a seat right over there.

Speaker 143 I'm here to present the takeie for Thirst Trap of the Year.

Speaker 72 And the winner is Julian Edelman for his Father's Day Thirst Trap.

Speaker 24 Enjoy.

Speaker 41 I'll be watching.

Speaker 81 See you soon.

Speaker 24 Damn, he was going to be watching here. Yeah,

Speaker 24 he really creeped me out.

Speaker 18 I didn't even watch it until just now.

Speaker 19 You know, they did that the very first episode to Catch a Predator was like around the street. It was around the corner from my house growing up.
Oof. Yeah, the very first one.

Speaker 19 It's kind of weird that they just said, hey, we're going to take this residential neighborhood and just have a parade of pedophiles stopping by.

Speaker 118 Yeah, Chris Hansen's good to see that he's still just out there doing his thing, whatever it is.

Speaker 106 It seems like he's watching. He's trying something else after a while.

Speaker 27 Well, you say he has a show called Take a Seat with Chris Hansen.

Speaker 19 He's really milking that, huh?

Speaker 85 He asked the pedophiles questions.

Speaker 57 So, who was your inspiration?

Speaker 19 Was it Jeffrey Dahmer?

Speaker 73 Let's get through the transcripts.

Speaker 19 I'm going to say, you know,

Speaker 115 the Crown Prince of France.

Speaker 116 Yeah, who did you look up to?

Speaker 80 The OG pedophile.

Speaker 41 When you were a kid.

Speaker 127 All right, next up.

Speaker 19 Socrates was my guy.

Speaker 19 Next up, we've got the Apology of the Year Award.

Speaker 19 Apology was a big year for apologies.

Speaker 19 We had the likes of Rudy Gobert apologizing to the entire United States and the NBA and all the reporters for infecting people with the coronavirus when he got back from a trip overseas.

Speaker 19 Didn't take it seriously and touched every microphone.

Speaker 19 Then we've got Drew Brees with the epic handshake picture. I'm not even going to address the apology, just the picture itself.
The black hand, the white hand, shaking hands. That said it all.

Speaker 19 Mike Gundy, his apology, when he actually did the Predator handshake

Speaker 19 in live action, in real time. And then Big Ben apologizing to the Lord for jacking off.
Yeah. So this is a stacked field this year.
We're going to give the award to Drew Brees.

Speaker 30 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 19 For the shutterstock image of fighting racism.

Speaker 19 And I think it actually did end racism. Yes.

Speaker 70 Haven't heard a lot about it since.

Speaker 19 Congratulations, Drew.

Speaker 31 Good job, Drew Brees. Way to go.

Speaker 19 I still can't believe i mean credit to drew brees though here's the one thing i'll say in defense of his uh use of the shutter stock he found the version of it that took at least 30 seconds to scroll down and find he didn't pick the first one so that's good job by his pr team yeah and he also remembered to download the real image and not just do the screenshot where it says shutter stock on it that would have been very that's what if if Swag Kelly had gotten in trouble for racism, you can better believe you would still see the Getty Images watermark on his apology.

Speaker 68 Yes.

Speaker 18 Oh, Billy's mad again because Billy still thinks Swag Kelly is like a number one quarterback.

Speaker 19 He is the best quarterback of the 2017 draft, 2018 draft.

Speaker 6 Yeah, that was a terrible take by you.

Speaker 99 Remember you said that?

Speaker 164 I loved.

Speaker 74 He was so cool.

Speaker 101 Yeah, okay.

Speaker 15 Good job talking to the mic.

Speaker 119 All right, still alive person of the year.

Speaker 38 This is a big one.

Speaker 49 We have some good nominees this year. The first nominee is Willie Mays, who

Speaker 49 Hank just didn't even realize he was still alive.

Speaker 70 I think I probably have some part in that because I keep tweeting out that Barry Bonds

Speaker 13 like smiling next to what looks like a dead Willie Mays.

Speaker 71 So that kind of confuses people.

Speaker 112 But Willie Mays still alive.

Speaker 76 89 years old, still alive.

Speaker 45 Some say the best baseball player of all time.

Speaker 117 Still alive.

Speaker 19 This is why we need to get Barry Bonds in the Hall of Fame because the vast, vast majority of Willie Mays' public appearance over the past like 10, 15 years have been at Barry Bonds milestones. Right.

Speaker 19 Where he's sitting in the front row. row like dapping up Barry Bonds.

Speaker 19 If Barry Bonds gets in the Hall of Fame, Willie Mays is either going to induct him or he's going to be like front row supporting Barry Bonds

Speaker 19 and then just make it a spotlight of Willie Mays' career.

Speaker 24 You get a double dip. Yep.

Speaker 119 Kim Jong-un, unfortunately, still alive.

Speaker 71 It felt like he might be dead for a little bit there, but turns out

Speaker 33 he's pronounced dead. Yeah, he was dead.

Speaker 144 And then he's still alive.

Speaker 19 He was speculated being dead. Yes.
But I think they were saying that he took a train and went to go live in a harem with like 62 prostitutes or something.

Speaker 23 Lamaroto.

Speaker 33 He did the Lamarota.

Speaker 19 He ate a bunch of horny goat weed and drove out to the bunny ranch.

Speaker 145 And then finally, Tommy Lasorda, who is still alive.

Speaker 37 Our friend Tommy Lasorda, he's turned 92, 93, or 94 this year.

Speaker 38 We don't know.

Speaker 5 He doesn't know.

Speaker 94 But Hank, you have a cameo for us, a presenter for Still Alive Person of the Year.

Speaker 157 Hey guys, it's me, Butterbean. Heard y'all talking about me on the show the other day.
Happy to announce that the 2020 Techie Award, Still Alive

Speaker 66 Person of the Year, is me.

Speaker 8 Wow, what an honor.

Speaker 157 Tell that week intern of yours, Billy.

Speaker 102 I want a piece of him.

Speaker 153 Jake,

Speaker 38 you have a great day, my friend.

Speaker 33 Good job, Butterbean, just giving yourself the award, but you weren't nominated.

Speaker 119 So let's go to another guy who's still alive who gives us the real winner.

Speaker 42 Oh,

Speaker 116 hey, folks.

Speaker 167 I'm WWE Hall of Famer Hacksaw Jim Duggan from from the golden age of wrestling.

Speaker 32 And I'm here to present the Takey for the Still Alive Person of the Year.

Speaker 24 And the winner is

Speaker 83 Tommy Lasorda.

Speaker 43 Yeah!

Speaker 167 Very much alive.

Speaker 116 How about a hoe, everybody? Ho

Speaker 167 for Tommy Lasorda, tough guy.

Speaker 33 I love it.

Speaker 27 When you do the still alive person of the year, all you got to do is just search wrestlers on cameo.

Speaker 83 It's like, oh, he's still alive?

Speaker 19 Did he have his 2x4 four with him?

Speaker 142 Yes, of course.

Speaker 19 In that, in that cameo?

Speaker 33 Duh.

Speaker 8 I love it.

Speaker 92 Duh.

Speaker 41 All right.

Speaker 16 Can I do a verbal meme?

Speaker 97 Yeah, go ahead. Okay, okay.
Okay.

Speaker 133 Sean Oakman at the coin flip.

Speaker 100 Butterbean,

Speaker 19 I'm the still alive person of the year.

Speaker 41 Okay.

Speaker 80 Okay.

Speaker 86 Wait, which is the worst meme of the year goes to

Speaker 24 Sean Oakman?

Speaker 84 I don't understand it.

Speaker 145 Yeah, but Sean Oakman, Sean Oakman.

Speaker 92 What does sean oakman say sean oakman is big tough yeah but what is he he's jacked no no but what does it say on him

Speaker 33 it says it says butterbean okay so he's strong and then where does it say

Speaker 16 still alive person of the year say okay you can have it butterbean because he's so big and tough so this is a cartoon strip no meme it's a meme it's got multiple

Speaker 15 i'm looking at sean oakman it says butterbean on sean oakman it's what next how do i understand so i'm just like damn It's not even a live-action meme.

Speaker 19 It's a meme that you have to read.

Speaker 104 No, it's not a live-action meme.

Speaker 8 It's like multiple pages.

Speaker 8 Okay, Billy.

Speaker 92 All right, Baylor.

Speaker 90 Billy.

Speaker 19 Verbal meme.

Speaker 100 Sean Oakman, I have $5. Baylor, that's perfect.
Sean Oakman.

Speaker 24 Okay.

Speaker 145 Right, but that's...

Speaker 145 So that says Butter Omekman. No, no, no, this is Hank,

Speaker 71 the winner of the year's Harmless Order.

Speaker 100 Butterbeam.

Speaker 58 No, it's me. All right, Billy, I'm going to stop.

Speaker 24 That's perfect.

Speaker 19 Pick Sean Oakman. Here's a verbal meme.

Speaker 19 It's Derrick Henry and Mark Ingram at the coin toss. Derrick Henry says normal Sean Oakman memes.
And then Mark Ingram says Billy Football's Sean Oakman memes.

Speaker 80 No!

Speaker 136 Yes.

Speaker 156 That is.

Speaker 19 Next up we have the preemptive takeoff.

Speaker 106 Liberalism is cloudy in meme.

Speaker 136 I hate pedophiles.

Speaker 8 Okay. Okay.

Speaker 24 Wow. All right.
All right. Thanks for joining us.
Projecting a little bit there?

Speaker 63 That's kind of weird.

Speaker 109 How do you disavowed?

Speaker 19 The preemptive take of the... It just occurred to me that somewhere in Billy Football's brain, a liberal is a pedophile.
It's the same, like the Venn diagram is a pancake inside your brain.

Speaker 19 The preemptive take of the year.

Speaker 39 We need to put the settings so that it's YouTube for kids for Billy's YouTube because clearly he's watching too much shit on there.

Speaker 19 The preemptive take of the year award for 2021.

Speaker 19 We're going to... I'm just going to assume that Mike Gundy will be involved in the mix in 2021.
Antonio Brown will definitely get back in there.

Speaker 19 We haven't heard from him in like, I don't know, six months in off-the-field stuff. So I'm assuming that he will have some sort of controversial tweet or Instagram post.

Speaker 19 But the preemptive take of the year award for 2021 goes to Dan Dokich,

Speaker 19 recurring guest of the show, for eventually he's going to say that MJ is better than LeBron because LeBron's never been divorced.

Speaker 19 And so he's not committed enough to the game and to his craft. I like that.
Yeah, so we actually asked Dan to present this award, and he said no, thank you. Oh, so he's a proud man.

Speaker 28 He wants to come to that take organically.

Speaker 19 Exactly. I think he also doesn't want to leave a paper trail showing that he knows about that take before he actually says it.
Yes, true. Smart man, Dan.

Speaker 58 Very smart man.

Speaker 63 Good friend of the program.

Speaker 70 Love Dan Dokic.

Speaker 45 I miss getting mad about Dan Dockich talking about Big Ten basketball.

Speaker 102 Yeah, I agree with you.

Speaker 19 There's all sorts of stuff out there. Like, we love to complain about sports and about bad sports takes, but they're so fun.
Right. They're so fun.

Speaker 19 So I hope that guys like Dan, there should always be a place on local sports talk radio for Dan Dockich. Yes.

Speaker 117 All right.

Speaker 55 Next up, we have worst prediction of the year.

Speaker 38 Now, this one is a deep, deep class.

Speaker 56 So the nominees are Clay Travis for talking about the coronavirus.

Speaker 6 He said there will be way less than the yearly flu in the U.S.

Speaker 71 It's less contagious and said China has more than triple our population, looks to have kept it around 3,000 deaths, and that's with an incredibly slow start to treatment.

Speaker 28 And he'd be surprised if we get into the thousands, honestly.

Speaker 9 So, predicting that we will not get into the thousands.

Speaker 31 Where are we at now?

Speaker 37 I think it's like 120,000.

Speaker 71 So, he said,

Speaker 55 won't get into thousands for coronavirus deaths.

Speaker 29 The next nominee is also Clay Travis.

Speaker 60 He said after more deaths rolled in, he said fewer people would die than in an average year from the flu.

Speaker 33 That appears likely to be true.

Speaker 14 And he said that, and there's 37,000 people a year die from the flu.

Speaker 11 So that also was wrong.

Speaker 30 Where are we at now with deaths?

Speaker 44 120,000-ish.

Speaker 68 Okay.

Speaker 49 He said,

Speaker 45 he said, oh, this is just a double down.

Speaker 28 Will it get as bad as China?

Speaker 96 3,000 people died in China, a country with three times our population. If we get as bad as China, 1,000 people will die of coronavirus here.

Speaker 10 That also ended up not being true.

Speaker 111 He also said our next next nominee is Clay Travis for in mid-March said coronavirus infections are likely to peak next week.

Speaker 58 That was mid-March.

Speaker 24 Yep. Did that happen?

Speaker 135 That did not happen.

Speaker 28 That did not happen.

Speaker 5 And then our final nominee is

Speaker 58 Clay Travis, who

Speaker 7 has said that

Speaker 77 he'd be surprised if we got over 60,000 deaths for the coronavirus, and then we have this under control.

Speaker 11 So

Speaker 117 he quote tweeted something in mid-April and said, Good thread to read here from a month ago as forecasts are now for 60k deaths at most, parentheses, and likely

Speaker 10 that's likely too high.

Speaker 71 Someone replied, I still don't think we break 40,000.

Speaker 64 And he replied, I think you're likely correct.

Speaker 19 Well, to be fair to Clay, he's just perpetually surprised. Yes.
He's not saying it's not going to happen. He's just, I'm going to be shocked if it gets over 60,000.

Speaker 19 And I guess he's just like always, he's just like shocked by stuff.

Speaker 24 Yeah, Yeah, surprise.

Speaker 65 Nice movie target, 1,000, couple thousand, 37,000, 60,000.

Speaker 148 Yeah, we're doubled that, but that's okay.

Speaker 38 So let's go to our cameo.

Speaker 45 We have someone who's going to present this

Speaker 78 for the takey of worst prediction of the year.

Speaker 168 I'm Kurt Schilling, and I'm here to present the takey for the worst prediction of the year, or the best if you're woke.

Speaker 168 And the winner is Clay Travis for saying I'd be surprised if we get into the thousands when talking about total coronavirus deaths in the U.S.

Speaker 168 However, turns out he's actually right because there's 20 times more people that have been infected than not. So to all the others, they can suck it.

Speaker 130 Okay, congrats to Clay Travis.

Speaker 48 Good job.

Speaker 110 Clay Travis with a huge one there.

Speaker 126 He actually won it for predicting there's going to be no more than about a thousand deaths.

Speaker 19 Okay, so it's the first one.

Speaker 24 The first one felt like it could.

Speaker 73 He's right.

Speaker 19 Yeah, that's probably the best of those takes.

Speaker 19 You think he's going to continue going on just like every 30,000 people? He'll be like, I'd I'd be shocked if it gets 30,000 more. Right.
I'd be really sad.

Speaker 19 I kind of like that.

Speaker 26 Just stick with it.

Speaker 24 Eventually you'll be right.

Speaker 66 Yeah. It's actually...

Speaker 106 It doesn't matter if you're right first.

Speaker 19 It matters if you're right last.

Speaker 46 Right.

Speaker 67 And I do the same thing, only I do it with like sporting events that don't actually kill hundreds of thousands of people as I make very bad predictions and then keep doubling down on my predictions.

Speaker 131 But I mean, whatever.

Speaker 19 I'd be shocked if Mitch Trubisky didn't make the Pro Bowl this year.

Speaker 117 120,000 deaths, whatever.

Speaker 80 I mean, that's like, that's no one.

Speaker 19 Next up, we have the retirement of the year. Big year for retirements.
It comes down to three people.

Speaker 19 This year, the nominees are Connor McGregor

Speaker 19 for all his retirements this year. So it encompasses at least two, probably three retirements this year.

Speaker 19 Rob Gronkowski for retiring last year.

Speaker 19 And then the third nominee.

Speaker 45 And then telling all of us at every turn that he was not going to play football again.

Speaker 19 It was a great retirement. His entire retirement was spent thinking about playing football and telling people he wasn't thinking about playing football.

Speaker 62 So wait, let's just go back to this one sec.

Speaker 18 Is Gronk basically saying that he just didn't want to play for the Patriots anymore?

Speaker 19 I think so. Actually, you know what? I go back and forth because he might be doing that.

Speaker 84 And his body was banged up.

Speaker 19 There's also a chance that Rob Gronkowski is still retired right now. He just happens to play football occasionally.

Speaker 19 In his brain, he might be like, Yeah, I retired. I don't do that anymore.

Speaker 110 I wonder if Tom Brady had stayed with the Patriots, would Gronk be back?

Speaker 26 I actually think maybe there's a chance that would have happened.

Speaker 28 That he was going to take a year off no matter what.

Speaker 19 I doubt it. I think.

Speaker 82 Billy, I would love to hear what you have to say.

Speaker 141 No, honestly, I think that the workload the Patriots wanted him to do was higher than something that Tampa is going to have him do.

Speaker 101 Got it.

Speaker 21 Okay, there we go.

Speaker 142 Think about it.

Speaker 53 Brady's like, you don't have to block, you don't have to like block Terrell Suggs anymore.

Speaker 141 Like, you can be wiry and go outside.

Speaker 74 It's 100 years old.

Speaker 33 Win column for Billy.

Speaker 32 There we go.

Speaker 132 That's a win, Billy.

Speaker 102 I mean, just good comments. Sit back.

Speaker 19 Sit back. Enjoy the win.
Good comments.

Speaker 102 Enjoy the win.

Speaker 33 If you keep talking, you're going to end up being a lot.

Speaker 84 Just talk your way out of it.

Speaker 71 Just enjoy that win.

Speaker 19 I think you're right, though. I think that if Tom Brady had stuck around in New England, Rob Brunkowski would probably still be retired.

Speaker 41 Yes.

Speaker 19 And then the third nominee is Leroy the dog. Leroy retiring after nailing the Rob Brunkowski.
Yes. Big year for Leroy.
So the winner of Retirement of the Year goes to

Speaker 24 Connor McGregor for multiple retirements.

Speaker 106 Major upset.

Speaker 73 Yeah, Connor.

Speaker 23 Major upset.

Speaker 30 Way to go, Connor.

Speaker 19 Also, I mean, Leroy might come back at some point. He's leaving that door open.

Speaker 10 Connor McGregor definitely retired for life.

Speaker 23 Oh, absolutely not.

Speaker 98 No chance of it.

Speaker 19 He's never fighting again. Absolutely not.

Speaker 115 No chance.

Speaker 19 I will inject myself with the coronavirus if Conor McGregor comes back and fights.

Speaker 7 All right, let's go to actually let's do one more ad real quick, and then we have four awards left.

Speaker 110 We're coming up to Blake of the Year, so get excited.

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Speaker 7 Okay, let's go to our next takeie.

Speaker 147 Like I said, we have four left.

Speaker 49 The next one we have is 19-year-old of the year.

Speaker 125 You may remember this famous winners in the past, Mbappe.

Speaker 45 Who else won? Jason Tatum? Did he win?

Speaker 80 Mbappe won a couple times, I think.

Speaker 28 Mbappe won multiple years.

Speaker 60 Pulisich might have won one.

Speaker 37 So 19-year-old of the year.

Speaker 57 The nominees are Addison Ray for his work in TikTok.

Speaker 142 It's a girl.

Speaker 159 For her work in TikTok.

Speaker 93 Lil Pump.

Speaker 27 for his work in TikTok.

Speaker 97 Her rapper.

Speaker 98 Yeah, so

Speaker 4 his.

Speaker 19 He's a TikTok rapper. Yep.

Speaker 70 Just a rapper.

Speaker 85 Maverick Baker, also a TikToker.

Speaker 150 I'm just not going to use

Speaker 37 pronouns here.

Speaker 78 Blake Gray, TikTok.

Speaker 114 COVID-19,

Speaker 58 also known as the coronavirus.

Speaker 25 Lovely Peaches, TikTok.

Speaker 102 And Hunter Roland for

Speaker 106 their work. His work.

Speaker 24 TikTok.

Speaker 29 TikTok. His.

Speaker 24 Hunter. His? Okay.

Speaker 19 Hunter would be a wild name for a girl, wouldn't it?

Speaker 24 I think it kind of works.

Speaker 19 I feel like Billy is going to name his daughter Hunter at some point.

Speaker 150 Yeah.

Speaker 27 Alright, do we have someone who is going to tell us who won?

Speaker 80 Sure do.

Speaker 169 Hey guys, it's me, Patrick Mahomes. Proud to announce a 2020 Takey winner for a 19-year-old.
Congratulations to COVID-19.

Speaker 169 What is the 19 for anyways? Oh, well, congratulations, COVID.

Speaker 19 Okay, the novel coronavirus. Love it.

Speaker 19 Now I can officially respect the virus because it's won something. So

Speaker 19 it took a while while to get there, but now I will accept that.

Speaker 13 Wait, I can pretend I'm like a puppet on cameo and get paid?

Speaker 24 That was current. No, that was Patrick Mahomes.

Speaker 19 That was Patrick Mahomes.

Speaker 19 What do you mean, pretend you're a puppet? What do you mean pretend you're a puppet?

Speaker 80 I thought that was current the first time.

Speaker 136 No, it's Patrick Mahomes.

Speaker 120 Did you not hear him say, hey guys, it's Patrick Mahomes?

Speaker 19 Very disrespectful, Billy.

Speaker 24 Oh, yes.

Speaker 81 How do you mean Elmo?

Speaker 19 The 20th take of 2020.

Speaker 19 This is a big one. This is one that really blew my mind when I was looking at the nominees.
This is the award for, holy shit, that show came out this year of the year.

Speaker 19 Stacked Field. We've got Tiger King.

Speaker 24 That came out this year?

Speaker 19 Tiger King came out this year.

Speaker 24 Shit.

Speaker 19 Love is Blind.

Speaker 104 Remember that?

Speaker 19 Remember Love is Blind? That came out this year. Yep.
Don't Fuck With Cats.

Speaker 70 That came out this year?

Speaker 19 That came out this year.

Speaker 93 Fuck.

Speaker 19 And the XFL. The XFL came out.
The XFL was this year. It was all in 2020.
That's crazy. A lot of stuff's happened this year.

Speaker 19 The winner of the holy shit that show came out this year of the year award is

Speaker 163 hey it's James Garritzon the Jitsu King from Tiger King proud to announce that takey winner of the holy shit that show actually happened this year is the XFL congratulations Vince and better luck next time brother

Speaker 151 P.S.

Speaker 163 You should have signed PFT Dumbo

Speaker 136 Wow.

Speaker 19 Okay, thank you what's his name the the lemur guy from Tiger Tiger King?

Speaker 74 Yes.

Speaker 71 Yes.

Speaker 7 I actually have a painting that's on the way.

Speaker 58 Remember Chilling with Chells? Wow, that came out this year.

Speaker 84 That was just with Chells.

Speaker 93 Holy shit.

Speaker 58 That came out this year.

Speaker 71 She made a painting for our studio that we will put up, and everyone will be like, who's that fat guy on the jet ski?

Speaker 15 And be like, remember that show everyone was obsessed with for like two weeks?

Speaker 19 That came out this year. That's amazing.
Okay, well, thank you for the endorsement. That means a lot.
Yes.

Speaker 19 I know Vince McMahon is probably a big fan of Tiger King, too, so hopefully he saw that and Vince signed me. I've heard rumors that Vince is trying to personally buy the XFL out of bankruptcy.

Speaker 21 Wow.

Speaker 19 So, like before, it was a shell company that owned the XFL. Nice.
So, then he had that declared bankruptcy. I'm hearing he's trying to buy it himself.

Speaker 24 Nice.

Speaker 28 By the way, James, you should be careful because if that guy has any of your information now, he's probably already used you for some plot to snitch to the government.

Speaker 138 Okay, so he has my. All right, well, that's bad.

Speaker 74 All right.

Speaker 99 We have

Speaker 93 the

Speaker 128 second to last.

Speaker 70 We have two left.

Speaker 28 So let's do it.

Speaker 5 The one that probably everyone's looking forward to the most, the Blake of the year, which has been decided.

Speaker 147 Let's kick it to Blake of the Year.

Speaker 34 All right, it's that time of the year.

Speaker 9 It is Blake of the Year.

Speaker 13 We're going to decide who the number one Blake in the world is as a refresher course.

Speaker 87 First year, Blake Bortles won.

Speaker 76 Second year, it was just Blake Bortles versus Blake Griffin.

Speaker 28 Second year, Blake Griffin won.

Speaker 9 Blake Kepka was in the competition.

Speaker 19 Now, Blake Griffin picked up the phone in 2.8 seconds.

Speaker 116 It was 2.8.

Speaker 19 Many say it will never be broken.

Speaker 71 Many say it will never be broken, although I do think...

Speaker 19 A quarter patino.

Speaker 95 I think he is so locked in that we might see some.

Speaker 28 We might look back at this Blake of the Year competition and be like, holy shit, Blake Griffin went to places we never thought a Blake could go.

Speaker 19 Or we might look back and say, is Blake Griffin bad for Blakes? Because he's so good and the dynasty is too strong. Yesterday, we got some news on the Blake front.
Blake Kepka's caddy

Speaker 19 was diagnosed, unfortunately, with COVID-19, had to withdraw from the fifth major, the Travelers.

Speaker 19 And you have to ask, is his mind going to be elsewhere? Or is it a Blake of Destiny situation where it feels like, you know, let's win one for the Caddy?

Speaker 35 Right, right. So it's going to, so how we're going to do is we're going to call each one.

Speaker 28 We're going to time it, and then we will,

Speaker 96 I guess we'll call them back and let them know who ended up winning.

Speaker 14 We're going to go reverse order of how they finished last year.

Speaker 150 So we're going to start with Blake Bortles.

Speaker 37 PFT is going to time it.

Speaker 75 We're going to call.

Speaker 145 It's just a pickup, the first sound.

Speaker 32 Are you ready? Is everyone ready?

Speaker 19 I'm ready. Just say when to hit start, and I got it.

Speaker 131 All right, here we go.

Speaker 81 Okay.

Speaker 63 All right. Blake Bortles is coming up right now.

Speaker 4 Let me make sure I don't get my phone number in here.

Speaker 81 All right.

Speaker 86 Ready.

Speaker 66 Set.

Speaker 74 Go.

Speaker 34 Oh, 575. 575 for Blake Portals.

Speaker 35 Holy shit, that was quick.

Speaker 19 Very impressive.

Speaker 112 All right.

Speaker 34 575.

Speaker 148 We'll call you back. We'll let you know.

Speaker 109 Okay.

Speaker 77 Good performance from Blake Portals.

Speaker 19 Coming out of the gate strong.

Speaker 77 Good performance from Blake Bortles this year.

Speaker 19 Damn, that was that. Also, it tells me that if there's an NFL GM out there that wants to give him a call, he's gonna, he's sitting by the phone.

Speaker 32 He was ready to go. He was ready to go.

Speaker 28 All right, so now we're gonna go Brooks Kepka.

Speaker 19 575.

Speaker 24 And you know what?

Speaker 19 It would have been faster if there was like a little bit of a lag after you hit dial, but it's gonna be the same for everybody.

Speaker 137 I'm gonna tell you go when I hit the button.

Speaker 97 All right.

Speaker 56 So, Brooks Kepka.

Speaker 56 Okay, Brooks Kepka.

Speaker 74 Go.

Speaker 130 Oh, 5.5.

Speaker 83 Oh, shit.

Speaker 104 Blake Kepka under the wire.

Speaker 84 Wow. Impressive, Brooks.

Speaker 19 Last year, I've improved.

Speaker 148 Okay, well, you've beaten Blake Bortles. We're going to call you back.

Speaker 26 Blake Griffin is still up.

Speaker 131 All right. Can't wait.
Okay, all right. We're going to call you back.
All right.

Speaker 125 Wow.

Speaker 13 This has become an incredible performance.

Speaker 19 Neck and neck right now.

Speaker 100 Can Blake Griffin do it?

Speaker 80 I don't.

Speaker 19 I think Kepka's got it. 5.5 is a tough number.
The hardest thing to do in sports is to repeat as champion.

Speaker 35 It's going to be very hard.

Speaker 12 You don't have a microphone.

Speaker 80 Billy, talking to the mic that doesn't exist.

Speaker 109 Talking to Hank's mic.

Speaker 106 So there's Erica over on

Speaker 19 the mic in front of you. That's weird.

Speaker 96 You do not have a mic.

Speaker 86 Okay, here we go. Blake Griffin.

Speaker 125 Wait, my phone just went to dim.

Speaker 43 Okay.

Speaker 43 Wait, fuck. I hit the middle.

Speaker 43 Go.

Speaker 24 Oh, 3.3.

Speaker 81 Holy shit.

Speaker 119 You did it again, Blake.

Speaker 66 You did it again.

Speaker 19 Congratulations. Blake to Blake champion.

Speaker 31 You did it again. Blake Griffin.

Speaker 34 You're a transcendent talent.

Speaker 45 It was a tough competition, though.

Speaker 104 Do you want to know the finals?

Speaker 136 I need to know the times.

Speaker 19 So this year, Bortles had 5.75,

Speaker 19 Kepka had 5.5, and you beat them both by 1.2 seconds. Wow.

Speaker 24 Wow. Yes.

Speaker 32 We actually were talking beforehand, and we said

Speaker 34 the storylines that were going into this Blake of the Year was, will we look back and say that

Speaker 117 this was the GOAT, you know, status for Blake Griffin?

Speaker 7 Will we look back, PFT was saying, and say, is Blake Griffin bad for Blakes?

Speaker 45 Is it not fair anymore, do you think?

Speaker 170 you know what I'm not even ready to answer those questions right now because I put in the time uh I'm also working on a last dance uh Blake of the Year documentary as we speak um

Speaker 170 and you know the footage will show that I put the time in and the footage will show that I care about this and

Speaker 42 you know if if

Speaker 170 If you can't accept that, then it's fine.

Speaker 43 You're not a real Blake of the Year fan.

Speaker 19 I think all the talk that we've had, we've had Bortles and Kepka on recently and discussed the Blake of the Year with them. I guess you could say Blake Griffin took it personally.

Speaker 170 I took that personal. Every time you guys post a highlight of

Speaker 170 Brooks on the golf course,

Speaker 170 posted his mustache, compared it to Big Cats.

Speaker 170 I take that personal. I see it all.
I don't comment all the time, but I see it all, and I took it personal.

Speaker 27 It's impressive.

Speaker 28 I mean, you're clearly very emotional.

Speaker 19 I can hear it in your voice.

Speaker 66 Congratulations.

Speaker 111 The title is yours for another year.

Speaker 127 And,

Speaker 117 I mean, I don't know what else to say.

Speaker 133 There are no words.

Speaker 27 We're truly in the presence of greatness.

Speaker 170 Thank you, guys.

Speaker 170 And, you know, if I can, real quick, just want to address the fans.

Speaker 170 Unbelievable support over this past year.

Speaker 42 But

Speaker 170 we

Speaker 170 brought another Blake of the Year home. So you see me on the streets, yell.

Speaker 42 We celebrate together because

Speaker 170 this one's for everybody.

Speaker 8 Wow, he's sharing this one with the fans.

Speaker 115 What a guy.

Speaker 19 Blake, one last question. Are you going to take some time to celebrate this, or are you thinking already, hey, let's move on.
It's next year. You're only as good as you're going to be doing.

Speaker 19 You know what?

Speaker 170 The way I see it, I have the rest of the day to celebrate, but then it's back to training.

Speaker 56 Love it. Love it.

Speaker 30 All right. Thank you, Blake.

Speaker 130 Congrats again.

Speaker 70 What a job.

Speaker 8 All right, see ya.

Speaker 10 All right, now the hard part of our job.

Speaker 19 We should just make Billy do it.

Speaker 10 Now the hard part of our job.

Speaker 19 Billy, do you want to break the news?

Speaker 24 Yeah, you want to break the news to him?

Speaker 19 I don't want to be mean to him.

Speaker 106 I don't have the heart for it.

Speaker 104 And just tell him, I'm going to call Brooks first.

Speaker 19 By the way, Brooks,

Speaker 103 we were tipped off that if you go to Blakeoftheyear.com, it redirects to Brooks Kepka.

Speaker 19 Brooks Kepka actually purchased the domain name for Blakeoftheyear.com and redirected it to his own website.

Speaker 20 Cocky move.

Speaker 19 You have to wonder, is that bulletin board material for Blake Griffin?

Speaker 17 It really feels like that.

Speaker 55 All right, so, Billy, all you're going to say is, hey,

Speaker 54 hey, Brooks, or hey, Blake.

Speaker 88 PFT and Big Cat had to step away, but they wanted me to tell you that you finished second in Blake of the Year to Blake Griffin.

Speaker 161 I can't remember all of that.

Speaker 63 In the mic, in the mic, I can't remember that.

Speaker 24 I can't remember all that.

Speaker 167 Billy, there.

Speaker 96 Just be sure with them. Pretend you're cutting them from a team, from a roster, okay?

Speaker 141 I've actually been rejected from a lot of jobs.

Speaker 70 Talk into that mic.

Speaker 19 Billy, say this is the toughest part of any coach's job. Yeah.

Speaker 113 use the use this stuff, like, you know, like, you know, you left your heart out there, and if anyone else calls and asks about a Blake, we'll for sure, you know, pass along your tape.

Speaker 19 It's a numbers game right now, okay?

Speaker 10 And unfortunately, you got to make some tough decisions.

Speaker 57 We're not going to talk.

Speaker 24 This is so nervous.

Speaker 19 But also, Billy, you have to tell them

Speaker 105 Billy, this is important.

Speaker 19 You have to tell them that they can't say anything until July 6th after the episode comes out, okay?

Speaker 136 All right, here we go.

Speaker 143 Here's Brooks.

Speaker 41 Hi, Brooks. Brooks Kuepka.

Speaker 41 Mike.

Speaker 100 Hi, Mr. Kuepka.

Speaker 19 Hi, this is Billy here.

Speaker 149 I'd just like to report that you had a strong showing in the Blake of the Year, but unfortunately, you were beat

Speaker 74 by

Speaker 149 Blake Griffin by quite a substantial margin, but you beat Bortles by a very close margin.

Speaker 19 I'd like to thank you for participating in Blake of the Year.

Speaker 149 PFT and Big Head had to step away and left me with the responsibility of calling you.

Speaker 149 I hope you have a good rest of your day.

Speaker 149 Please don't report on this until July 6th when the episode is airing.

Speaker 19 Thank you for your time.

Speaker 119 Brooks, is there any better luck than better luck next year, Brooks?

Speaker 19 Do you have any regrets on purchasing that website? Do you feel like maybe you celebrated before you reach the end zone there a little bit?

Speaker 4 no at the end of the day listen we all know who it is that's why blakeoftheyear.com check it out i just it's you so the final tally was blake griffin was 3.3 seconds you were 5.5 blake borrows was 5.75 blake griffin actually was slower than he was last year but he still was able to beat so that's the that's the bar

Speaker 32 and we could we can go back and check the tape yeah we can get var on it i don't yeah i don't see anything changing i mean he beats you by a pretty substantial margin there

Speaker 119 crap i better start training harder yeah all right oh by the way do you do you have coronavirus

Speaker 170 no i don't have corona my caddy does okay okay all right good but you do like healthy do you not yeah i don't yeah i don't have the rona yeah not yet anyways some some people were saying that you uh made that story up so that you could be home for blake of the year I mean, I would not have had, I would actually be playing golf right now.

Speaker 170 So it, but you know what? it would have been a great story if i won yeah it would have it would have just showed a lot of heart but that's not

Speaker 70 and no are you allowed to have cell phones on the pga tour i mean

Speaker 170 listen there's there's five majors blake of the year is one of them yeah

Speaker 19 travelers is definitely one where would you rank the travelers in terms of uh all-time golf tournaments um

Speaker 71 it's definitely up there it's pretty close yeah it's the sixth major behind blake of the year Behind Blake of the Year.

Speaker 42 Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 30 All right. Well,

Speaker 127 be well.

Speaker 156 It sucks.

Speaker 73 Yeah.

Speaker 73 I'm over two.

Speaker 171 This is actually really starting to piss me off.

Speaker 42 Yeah.

Speaker 37 I think next year we're going to next year we're going to actually change the competition.

Speaker 38 So we'll, we'll figure out something that's different than just the phone calls.

Speaker 7 We were actually going to do that this year, but obviously there's a pandemic.

Speaker 28 Next year, maybe we'll have a mono-e-mano situation.

Speaker 42 I like that. I can't take them.

Speaker 8 Yeah. I got it.

Speaker 30 All right. We'll talk to you later.
Good luck, Brooks.

Speaker 90 All right. See ya.
ya.

Speaker 35 All right. Now the hardest one.

Speaker 47 Our first Blake. You never forget your first Blake.

Speaker 19 It never gets any easier either.

Speaker 96 Billy, if you physically cannot talk into this mic, I'm going to punch you.

Speaker 89 I'm going to punch the mic into your mouth.

Speaker 15 I don't know how it's possible.

Speaker 25 He literally is sitting right here, and I have to push his face closer to the mic because he just drifts.

Speaker 84 Well, how do I talk into the phone?

Speaker 124 You're doing it.

Speaker 124 You don't. You don't.
Just talk.

Speaker 19 He'll hear you. You're going to talk to the microphone of the

Speaker 20 phone, Billy.

Speaker 74 All right.

Speaker 140 here we go.

Speaker 101 Blake Bortles.

Speaker 100 Hello. Hi, Mr.
Bortles.

Speaker 24 Yeah, is this Billy?

Speaker 164 Hi, this is Billy with part of my take. I would like to regretfully inform you that you did not win Blake of the Year.

Speaker 81 Oh, fuck you.

Speaker 141 I'm very sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

Speaker 172 PFT and Big Cat were not able to muster up the strength to tell this to you.

Speaker 149 You had a very good showing compared to last year, but it was not enough to beat Brooks and Blake.

Speaker 19 I gave it third

Speaker 172 by a margin of 0.25 seconds.

Speaker 19 I would suggest you maybe change your cell phone carrier to speed up your answering.

Speaker 149 I'd be very willing willing to help research ways for you to get a faster answering.

Speaker 141 I hope you're having a good day and please do not report on the results until July 6th when this airs.

Speaker 149 Thank you so much for your time and have a good one.

Speaker 8 And good luck.

Speaker 37 Blake, Blake, sorry, man.

Speaker 172 Sorry, dude.

Speaker 19 It was a very strong performance. I'm shocked that both Brooks and Blake Griffin were able to pick up faster because you set a very high bar.
You have nothing to be ashamed of this year.

Speaker 42 God, and I'm still low man on the podium.

Speaker 58 Yeah, but we were just saying before we called you, like, listen, you're still our first Blake, and you never forget your first.

Speaker 171 Hey, that is true. I'll never forget it.
I appreciate that.

Speaker 11 Yeah, so

Speaker 32 all right.

Speaker 27 So, yeah, we're going to release this episode July 6th.

Speaker 30 So,

Speaker 33 you're just going to have to stew with this internally for a while.

Speaker 58 We don't want to end up screwing up any of the betting markets.

Speaker 24 Yeah.

Speaker 74 Yeah.

Speaker 136 So, that's tough.

Speaker 147 I appreciate you letting me know, Billy.

Speaker 32 He's the bearer of bad news. He's the get-your-playbook guy.

Speaker 27 The turk.

Speaker 71 All right, man, we'll talk to you later.

Speaker 24 See you guys. All right, later.
Bye, Blake.

Speaker 19 And there you have it. That was tough to hear.

Speaker 63 And there you have it.

Speaker 97 Oh, fuck you.

Speaker 35 That was great. What?

Speaker 24 No, no, that was great. Oh, it's Blakes.
Oh, fuck you. Yeah, fuck you, Billy.

Speaker 23 Stunning.

Speaker 93 Unbelievable.

Speaker 6 Blake Griffin is your Blake of the Year, back-to-back champion.

Speaker 19 What a performance.

Speaker 71 I don't know what we're going to do next year, but we are going to get everyone together.

Speaker 54 We have to.

Speaker 19 We've talked about the trophy for Blake of the Year just being Vanny Woodhead. That would be just dropping it off.
Just like driving it to Blake's house

Speaker 19 and just like forcing the van on them and then leaving.

Speaker 66 Yeah, right. But we got to next year.

Speaker 28 We're going to have to figure out some kind of competition where all the Blakes can get involved.

Speaker 69 Maybe it's.

Speaker 80 I don't know what we can do.

Speaker 73 Stool strings.

Speaker 17 Maybe, yeah, we'll do.

Speaker 122 Yeah, we'll do something.

Speaker 96 We'll do something.

Speaker 117 But this was another great performance by Blake Griffin.

Speaker 47 Blake Bortles, still our first Blake.

Speaker 111 You never forget your first.

Speaker 27 And Brooks Kep is trying hard.

Speaker 24 Blake tried really hard.

Speaker 48 Yeah, they all tried really hard.

Speaker 19 I got to say, you can't even compare this Blake of the Year award competition to the one that happened two years ago. Right.
Like the advancements in Blakes that have taken place recently.

Speaker 19 It's a different league. Right.

Speaker 7 Right.

Speaker 7 It's

Speaker 27 maybe some say juiced.

Speaker 19 We'll see. Are the Blakes juiced? Yeah.
Blakes juiced. Are the phones juiced right now?

Speaker 35 What's up, Billy?

Speaker 54 You have the critical luck.

Speaker 19 Do I have to drive Vanny to Cali?

Speaker 8 No. Maybe.
No, no.

Speaker 31 Not right now, though.

Speaker 62 There's a 0% chance you'd survive that trip.

Speaker 19 The last award,

Speaker 19 if you weren't listening for the Blake of the Year award, you probably stuck around just for this one. It is the Podcast Listeners of the Year Award.
It's a very special award from part of my take.

Speaker 19 The award-winning listeners are so named because

Speaker 19 they have had a dynasty going. But there are tons of new podcasts this year, tons of very successful podcasts.
Whether it's the Daddy Gang,

Speaker 19 the Comeboys,

Speaker 19 Rob Lowe's Lomosexuals.

Speaker 19 There's just so many podcasts out there with so many dedicated followings.

Speaker 19 It's going to be tough to win. You know, like the hardest thing to do in sports, besides hitting a baseball, is winning a podcast award back to back.

Speaker 24 Yes, absolutely.

Speaker 19 The winners of the podcast Listeners of the Year for 2020 are.

Speaker 166 hi

Speaker 166 this is tommy lessorda

Speaker 166 and i'm here to present the podcast listeners of the year award

Speaker 166 and the winner is

Speaker 166 pardon my take congratulations aw ls

Speaker 166 on five straight championships

Speaker 31 that was tommy's phone so congratulations awls that's what you guys are called now.

Speaker 122 You guys have stuck with us.

Speaker 15 Time of no sports.

Speaker 19 Can the S be a five?

Speaker 105 Yeah.

Speaker 143 Derek Jeter.

Speaker 21 Respect.

Speaker 35 So, no, we do appreciate it.

Speaker 71 We love doing this.

Speaker 6 We love the community that we've created.

Speaker 67 You guys couldn't do it without you because otherwise we're just talking to no one.

Speaker 19 Well, we could. It would just suck.

Speaker 117 Yeah, it would suck.

Speaker 71 And it's honestly, it's incredible because there's a lot of podcasts that are struggling right now.

Speaker 55 We've seen our numbers stay exactly or go up during this pandemic, which is a testament to all you listeners.

Speaker 67 I think the industry standards are down like 20%.

Speaker 95 We haven't suffered that.

Speaker 79 So you guys much deserve.

Speaker 19 I do love you guys. There's a reason that I say it at the end of every episode, and it's not just because I was trying to find a signature sign-off.
I actually do love you guys.

Speaker 38 Yes, so much, much deserved.

Speaker 32 You guys deserve it.

Speaker 45 You guys are the best listeners in the world.

Speaker 6 We appreciate everything you do.

Speaker 128 We appreciate the interactions.

Speaker 60 And hopefully, hopefully, once all this is done, we can get back out on the road and see some of you you guys.

Speaker 75 So, with that,

Speaker 33 anything else? Billy, do you love them? I love them.

Speaker 30 I just want to see.

Speaker 69 Even though they hate you?

Speaker 53 Thank you for putting up with me.

Speaker 92 Okay, here we go.

Speaker 57 There's a good point.

Speaker 19 You guys have really stepped it up this year by just tolerating Billy football.

Speaker 145 Yeah, we've got to get a lot of time. That was a lot.

Speaker 31 I've got some curveballs at you, throwing some high heat at your chin with Billy football.

Speaker 45 But hopefully, sports will be back sooner than later.

Speaker 49 And thank you again for everyone for listening.

Speaker 95 And we'll see you on Wednesday.

Speaker 19 Love you guys.

Speaker 101 Love you too.

Speaker 74 Love you. Love you.

Speaker 131 Love you you guys. Love you guys.

Speaker 22 Liberals aren't. Say it, Hank.

Speaker 19 Love you guys. Love you guys.

Speaker 80 Love you guys. Love you guys.
Love you guys.

Speaker 28 Stop saying the pedophile thing.

Speaker 80 Yeah. Love you guys.
Love you guys.

Speaker 19 Distracting. Love you guys.

Speaker 67 You just keep saying it.

Speaker 24 What did you even say? Billy.

Speaker 19 Billy, what if there was a 12-year-old kid that was listening and you just told him that you loved him?

Speaker 81 Uh-oh.

Speaker 131 You are our lib cup of the year, so it makes sense.

Speaker 80 Love you guys. Love you guys.

Speaker 80 I don't know what

Speaker 80 to say and say it anyway.

Speaker 80 Today isn't my place to find you shy away.

Speaker 80 I'll be coming for your love of the day.

Speaker 80 Sadly needless to say

Speaker 80 I'm upset.

Speaker 80 But be stone a little way.

Speaker 80 Slowly learning that life is okay.

Speaker 80 Say I'm for me.

Speaker 80 It's no better to be safe than sorry. Fear,

Speaker 80 feel,

Speaker 80 feel, feel, feel, feel,

Speaker 80 feel,

Speaker 80 feel,

Speaker 80 feel, feel, feel,

Speaker 80 feel.