The 2020 Takie Awards Featuring Blake Griffin, Blake Koepka & Blake Bortles

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We have some celebrity guests giving those awards out. We have Blake of the Year.
We have... Give me some more, PFT.
I forgot all of them. Well, I mean, we've got Big Time Tommy making his...
We taped this a week ago. We have Big Time Tommy.
Big Time Tommy makes his debut on part of my take. That's fucking massive.
No, but the awards. The awards.
We have, let's see. Oh, guy still alive, guy of the year.
We have, holy shit, that show happened this year of the year. We have- Take of the year.
Worst take of the year. Worst prediction of the year.
Podcast listeners of the year. Ooh, that'll be interesting.
My dad of the year. We've got just a ton of great awards.
Just a magical night of showmanship and pageantry. Great, great show coming up.
Before we get to that, though, we also are going to do a little who's back and catch up with whatever's going on in the sports world. Before we do that, rate it T for team.
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Okay, let's go. And then I can't live all on the sun Oh no We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue It's Pardon My Take presented by Barstool Sports Welcome to Pardon My Take presented by the Cash App Go download it right now Use.
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Today is Monday, July 6th, and we have the 2020 Takeys coming up. Get excited.
The entire back half of the show is all the Takeys. Also, just a disclaimer, do not be the person to ruin Blake of the Year or Podcast Listeners of the Year.
Don't do that. Don't do that.
Actually, I'm hearing, Big Cat, that if the podcast listeners from part of my take actively try to ruin either of those awards, it significantly reduces their chances of winning it. Correct.
So don't do that. Don't do that.
Let everyone enjoy it, but get excited. The takeies are coming up.
Before we do that, we have a couple things we want to hit. I know we're going to talk about the Redskins name change, but I wanted to PFT.
I wrote this down because I didn't want it to escape my thoughts. I didn't want us to just go right through it.
Joey Chestnut is the greatest athlete of all time. That's it.
It's over. If you look at the career that he's put together and how he keeps beating himself, here's how you know greatness.
He doesn't have a guy that he's going up head-to-head against. He's only competing against his past self, and he continues to dominate himself from a year ago, and there's just no ceiling to it.
He's gone from like, remember when 50 hot dogs was like a holy shit moment? Yes. Now it's like 50 hot dogs is nothing.
Dude. He eats that for breakfast.
If there was ever a time that Joey Chestnut could mail it in, his number one competitor that he was going against, what is his name, Jake? Something Matt something. You're not talking about Kobayashi? No, no, no.
The second guy. Kobayashi has been around.
Matt Stoney? Oh my god. There we go.
Hank's on vacation, by the way, of course. Matt Stoney.
He wasn't there. They're doing it in a bunker.
There's no music. It's fucking weird.
Coronavirus. No one to push him.
That is the time where he could basically, he could have eaten 50 hot dogs and won by like 20 hot dogs. He still eats 75 hot dogs.
He is a true champion. The only one who can beat Joey Chestnut is his fiancee who broke up with him a week before the hot dog eating competition that one year that he lost.
People don't talk about that. That's literally the only thing that could stop.
It got in his head, and he got taken off his game. By the way, if you're dating Joey Chestnut, you have to know not to break up with him that week.
Do it like a month before. In fact, I have some theories about that, that Kobayashi planted her just to screw with him, just to break up with him before the competition.
It was probably Matt Stoney. Because that is fucked up to do that to a man.
That was the one Matt Stoney won. We keep going back to Chestnut topping himself year after year after year after year after year.
It's just I haven't seen an individual athlete go on a run like this ever. This is Tiger Slam, like mid-2000s Tiger Woods shit.
That's a great point.

He is better than Tiger Woods.

Better.

I would say better because Tiger Woods only competes against, what, 200 other people in

a golf major?

Right.

Joey Chestnut is literally competing against anybody that's ever eaten a hot dog.

Also, if Tiger Woods had gotten broken up with right before he was going to get married,

he probably would have won more majors.

It's true.

Actually, I don't know how that helps. I don't know who that helps.
I think that would help tiger. No, no, no.
Joey's just better. Joey.
I tweeted it. I was, I wasn't joking.
I, I am blessed. I wake up every morning and I am blessed to be alive at the same time as Joey Chestnut.
You know how people are like, I was alive at the same time as Mozart. I don't know if anyone says that because they've been dead for a real long ass time.
But Mozart never existed. Yeah, there's some people, there's some, you know, times in history where like, I can't believe I was alive for that.
I cannot believe I was alive for Joey Chestnut. And thank you, Joey Chestnut.
You are fucking marvelous. I met him one time in a Savannah strip club, Savannah, Georgia, the night before St.
Patrick's Day.

He was getting ready for his corned beef and cabbage eating contest.

Yeah.

He was just out until like 1 a.m. casually housing like several dozen Miller Lights.

Next day, he wakes up and he eats like seven pounds of corned beef.

That's a fucking legend right there.

I think people don't realize after the hot dog competition, you know, know uh they think like oh they probably just go back and like puke and whatever joey chester goes out he said that to me on when we were on the fucking bus to staten island i was like so what happens after he's like oh you know we'll go out and get drunk yeah like what i think i ate 12 hot dogs and i was sick for like five days Chesney ate 73, and he's going and doing SoCo and Lime shots off the waitress's belly button. Listen.
What a fucking beast. At the very least, he's a two-sport athlete and should be considered in the top 300 of that guy's porn star list because the way that he's able to swallow those things is really open up that throat.
He's top 150. Have you seen like the trends? They'll call him like the, I think they said the glizzy gladiator.
What is glizzy? What is glizzy? It's a hot dog. People can't ask that I was glizzy when I was eating hot dogs.
Yeah, so it's, I don't know like where the term comes from. That's why we have you, Bubba.
But that's why, yeah, I know. He should be given the title of the goat if you think about it like nobody else can just say that they're the goat the throat a goat the throat goat a goat will eat anything and eat all of it he is the fucking goat people when i was tweeting like a video from when i was in the competition from four years ago people were tweeting like oh i didn't know big cat was down with lizzie like i was like what am i i thought i did something wrong it's like people people they try to hide when they're eating a hot dog like they don't they don't want people taking pictures of them i got you they don't want to get into like who is it was it mitt romney that just went to town on a corn dog at the iowa street fair mike pence will never use a straw there's like there's an absurd amount of pictures of ob eating hot dogs.
Yeah. I saw somebody did a threat.
There was like 20 pictures. There are reporters who make their entire year's worth of salary just by hanging out at that Iowa State Fair and taking pictures of every single presidential candidate, being like, this guy, yeah, this is going to make for a great Photoshop dick later.
Okay, so Urban Dictionary has glizzy. It just says a hot dog and then using a sentence, pops wasting no time to throat the glizzy.
He a real glizzy gladiator. All right.
I fucking love glizzies. I ate glizzies all summer once trying to get Carmelo to the Chicago Bulls.
I'll do it again. Did that work? Eventually it did.
All right, so that's Joey Chestnut. We also have sort of sports coming back but again like everything that's coming back it's weird like baseball i just saw the bucks shut down their facility uh because someone tested positive for coronavirus baseball players are opting out i think mike trout feels it feels like he might opt out i don't don't i'm not gonna tell anyone how what they should and shouldn't I'm going to say is, doesn't this feel like the one chance Mike Trout has to go to

the playoffs, a 60 game season.

That's the first thing I thought of is like, dude, you don't like, you could just get hot

for a couple months and maybe go to the playoffs.

It'd be nice.

You may never go to the playoffs.

Listen.

Yeah.

In this case, he might finally reach that point where Colin Coward would be able to recognize

him in a mall if you're right into him.

And now he's just throwing that out the window.

How does that work?

If you, if you opt out of the season, do you get paid at all?

I don't think so. So he doesn't need the money.
Yeah, he's fine. But yeah, David Price opted out.
Who else opted out? There was a couple other guys that opted out. There was somebody on the East Coast.
I don't know. The bottom line is, baseball really on top of it.
Baseball is coming. Jake, this is what

you're hired for.

You should know that, Jake.

You should have

the fucking list.

God damn it, Jake.

He got ahead of himself

because he beat Ravel

on Bobby Bonilla day.

That's pretty good, though.

Who opted out?

Who opted out?

Who opted out?

David Price was the big one.

He feels like

an East Coast guy.

So we'll just say

it was David Price

who we're talking about.

Someone on the Diamondbacks did, I know that. Dan Heron? Yep.
No, he opted in. Whatever.
Okay, that was good talk. Baseball talk.
Alright, Redskins. Name change.
Finally gonna happen. Listen, I am 100% behind this and here's what I've been saying.
King Von. There we go.
And that actually, I'm not gonna count that against you because I can't believe he's on the Braves. Better late than never.
He's another one. Dude, you could finally go to the playoffs.
But didn't the Braves just have somebody that came down with COVID? Freddie Freeman. Freddie Freeman.
He had some thematic, I think. Freddie Freeman.
Hopefully he gets better. Yeah, thoughts and prayers.
Papa Bless. Great alliteration name, Freddie Freeman.
But yes, the Washington R Awards officially decided to change their name. I've been on board with the Redskins doing this for the last probably 10 years.
And let's just, for the sake of this argument, throw out any feelings that you may have around the name Redskins. Whether or not you believe it to be offensive, whether or not you believe it to be a slur.
If you are a Redskins fan, most people that I know are totally on board with the name change just because it's a new fucking page. It's turning the page.
They've been so bad. Be the Generals.
They've been so bad. That'd be better.
The name Washington Generals is more aligned with a winning culture than the Washington Redskins has been for the last 30 years. We've tried everything since then.
Since we last won the Super Bowl in 1991, we've tried hiring old coaches. We've tried hiring rookie coaches.
We've hired bingo callers to be coaches. We've hired college coaches.
We've hired Steve Spurrier. We hired somebody called a Jim Zorn.
We've tried everybody. We've tried everything possible.
We've tried new quarterbacks, tried moving the team to fucking Maryland. We've tried literally everything.
But it's going to happen. Let's rebrand.

Now, here's where it might get interesting. Because Dan Snyder said that he is putting together a committee to study whether or not the team name should be changed.
I would not put it past Dan Snyder to come back with a report and be like, well, my report says that the team name doesn't need to be changed. Well, the thing, though, is that Nike and some of these other companies, FedEx, are going to put pressure on them, and they're going to change it.
And I think they're going to change it. And they shouldn't get credit because it took them way too long.
But they're going to change it. So what do they change it to? I said the teeth.
Yeah, so you're trying to make the teeth happen. I think I was maybe a little high when I thought of it.
The only issue. Just naming a team the teeth.
It would be cool to have. Because then to have you have like the jazz thing where you don't know like is it the teeth teethies the tooth teeth the tooths oh that's okay that makes sense i don't know but i don't know but you could have teeth instead of people holding the defense signs in the stands you put an s on a tooth tooth tooth the teeth teeth is plural i know that's funny go teeth right people are.
Like the tooth. Like, well, I'm a tooth.
I'm a teeth. The problem with the teeth when it's the Washington teeth is then George Washington had like the fucking wooden dentures, right? Yes.
The nastiest teeth ever. You can have people just holding up wooden dentures.
And I said, go back to RFK. Well, that's obviously going to happen.
Number one tooth guy. That's why they're trying to make that happen.
They're trying to get back to D.C.

And the D.C. council is like, we're not taking you back until the name is changed.

To the teeth.

We're going to tell you what, Big Cat.

We're going to put a pin in that.

I did a poll.

You're trying to make teeth happen.

I'm just saying.

Shout out Clay Travis doing Twitter polls.

They're obviously final.

75% said yes.

I think they should.

I've got a couple ideas.

One, it sounds like the Warriors and the Red Tails are the leaders in the clubhouse right now.

Yeah.

Whatever.

That's fine.

Kind of boring, but it works.

They should move it to Clinton, Maryland.

Call them the Clinton body counts.

That'd be pretty sick.

So you've been reading QAnon on your break?

Yeah.

The Clinton kill lists.

Okay.

They could alternately call themselves the Washington Bullets.

I think would be awesome because they changed the name of the Bull bullets back in the 90s when the murder rate was high and because the team name got changed the murder rate went way down just because that name change i thought it was because of the assassination no it's just because of the yeah just no i thought the bullets was the assassination of uh wasn't someone got assassinated and that's why they changed it oh no that was uh that was the guy in the park, Vince Foster. Now you're reading QAnon, Big Cat.
No, no, no. I'm pretty sure the Washington Bullets, part of the reason why was because there was some assassination.
It was because D.C. was the murder capital of the United States at the time.
And so they changed that. Yeah, Yitzhak Rabin got assassinated.
But now, come back, bring back the bullets it's time the jerseys

were for the old bullets were fire uh or they could name them uh it's been a while since we've had a team that's been named after like a really big movie that's come out we had the raptors do that we had the mighty ducks do that for the nhl back in the day we haven't had one of those in like 10 years.

So Washington

parasites.

Okay.

Be sick.

Washington

green books.

Okay.

Uh,

what? that for the nhl back in the day we haven't had one of those in like 10 years so washington parasites okay be sick washington green books okay uh washington boner dogs okay uh washington and then they just make red skins in all caps because a couple years ago dan snyder was like i'm not changing the name you can put that in all caps what about what about uh the washington skins and then the the mascot is hannibal okay yeah the serial killer i like that movies just hannibal just keep red skins and have it it's michael mike shanahan's red face just staring at the sun could you imagine if they had fucking dwayne haskins coming out on the gurney and like his ray lewis entrance is him with the mask on? That would be nice. That would be cool.
The Washington Haskins? Yeah. Well, he's not going to be on the team for very long.
What's interesting to me is that they're asking Ron Rivera to help pick the team name. I think that when they were making their pitch to Rivera back, you know, five, six months ago, they told him from the get-go, they're like, hey, you're going to be not only in charge of being the coach of the team, but you're going to be the face of the franchise, and we're literally going to give you the power to pick the next team name.
What if he, who's his hero? Ditka. What if he just swagger jacked Chicago and was like Washington Ditka's? Yes.
And then he just comes out for the national anthem every time he just farts into the microphone, lights up a cigar and leaves. Knowing Ron Rivera, though, like he's pretty boring.
He'll just name it like, he'll be like the Washington Maroon. Like, or the first thing he sees.
Burgundy. Yeah, the Washington Rugs.
What about? The Rugs, actually. The Washington Carpets.
Washington Carpets is not bad. That's kind of confusing.
See, I want them to do some oddball like that. The teeth, the carpets, the Hannibal thing.
I would be fine with Washington football club. Yeah, soccer and all that bullshit.
Yeah, but that way it's stealing football back from the Brits. Yeah.
I just think they have a chance to do something really stupid. And if you do something really stupid, it will totally eliminate everything that's happened before.
Like, if you do the Washington Warriors, everyone's going to be like, well, it took them long enough. If you do a fucking huge unveiling and it's the Washington carpets, you've changed the narrative, my friend.
I mean, you could get stupider without just being dumb. What if you just had the Washington Cump shots?

No, you can't because you have to do it like something ordinary

that is actually – they never name it the Washington Cump shots.

There's a .001% chance they could name it the Washington Carpets.

But if you get more offensive than what the team name was before,

then people beg Dan Snyder to change it back,

and then he's the hero by changing the team name to the Washington Redskins. That's an old little goalpost move.
Yeah. I like that.
I kind of anchor the negotiation. What's the most offensive name you think they could do that? We probably don't need to go down that road.
But, yeah, it's going to happen. And then I would assume the Indians are next.
And then who's going to hold on? The Braves are probably going to hold on for a while. Yeah.
They're going to as long as they can. I don't know.
And then, of course, there'll be hand-wringing and everyone will be like, I can't believe he did it. Just fucking change it.
I think it'd be cool to have the opportunity to change it and just like Dan Snyder, just get a fucking room and I'll nominate myself for it of a bunch of dudes getting really high and we'll just come up with a new name. Listen, I am very excited about this because, I mean, just a new team name for a team that I grew up rooting for is awesome.
It feels like this is like I get to buy a bunch of new T-shirts. You can sell.
That's fucking cool. Yeah, you can sell a lot of new shit during a pandemic.
No-brainer. The Washington Taylors, they're kind of named after Sean Taylor, but the logo is just a man like measuring your inseam.
Yeah, it's a short dude. Taylors are always short.
Yeah, measuring. Just a short dude with a sick mustache.
Measuring Dan Snyder's inseam. And being like, oh, sir, it looks like you dressed immediately right down the middle because your penis isn't long enough to reach the leg holes.
And he's just like, this is your Taylor. He's right next to the baker shop.
And it's like, you got all these guys. They're my guys.
If it does become red tails, we're going to see a lot of furries become Washington Redskins fans. And they're just going to walk around just like with a little red fuzzy tail poking out of the back of your jeans.
Yeah, the foxes. Yeah, yeah.
It's kind of hot. So that's going to change.
And then the other thing we had was Bryson DeChambeau being the biggest douchebag of all time. I did have an idea that I tweeted out, but I feel like it's worth more discussion.
Like, let's bring some more. Let's bring some ratings out of this choice and call it the decision.
Like the LeBron James choice. And it's like Chuck Todd on one of the morning shows interviewing Dan Snyder.
Just trying to get it really right. But he wouldn't be Dan Snyder.
He's he's got to just be so confused that like, why is everything changing right now? Why is, why are people mad about it? Yeah. He probably hasn't even fucking turned on the news.
Yeah. Hmm.
I'm just excited. I'm excited.
Like this is like a new, a new birth for me in terms of my football team. Washington afterbirths.
There you go. Washington placentas.
That works. All right.
So Bry right so bryson de chambeau holy shit this guy does he have any idea like how the media works so how it goes is bryson de chambeau has gotten bigger he's hitting bombs it's electric awesome to watch and then he got in a fight with a cameraman on sat Saturday and said the cameraman was following him,

AKA doing his job as a cameraman and that cameraman and women shouldn't be putting them in a negative light all the time after like bad shots.

Cause it can hurt their image and their brand.

So he's saying that it's bad form for the cameraman to be filming Bryson

after he hits a shot that doesn't go according,

which is literally the only reason you watch golf. To see somebody get pissed off at themselves.
Outside of the four majors, I'm watching golf to see someone shit down their fucking leg. You know what? I'm out on Bryson DeChambeau.
Yes, he's big. But the bombs do.
Yes, he's put on weight, but he's artificially... I'm going to say it right now.
I think he's taking steroids. I think that it's artificial popcorn muscles.
I also wouldn't be surprised if he gave Brooks Koepka's caddy coronavirus. He triangulated the way to get the droplets sprayed directly right on him.
You don't just go from being a math guy, from being a guy who's most known on the PGA Tour for taking 90 seconds between shots and doing calculus in your head instead of putting a six-footer to being like the tour Hulk. You don't just, you don't make that transition.
I am not, now he's rocking the fucking tight shirts and the scally cap. I don't think he's, I don't think he changed it.
I think he's just like stuck with the same clothes. Well, it just got size never bought new clothes he just yeah he just looks like he's a dad picking their son up from a dropkick murphy show and it's he looks like a poser i'm calling him out bryson de chambos but fuck you bryson okay so uh counterpoint the bombs yeah the bombs that he hits are so electric and uh i don't know what the fucking spin action or whatever the hell they call it the club speed whatever the golf nerds say i'm in on all of it i fucking love watching it i hate bryson de chambeau i think he's a douchebag um and you can quote me on that but i'm here for the bombs yeah i'll watch him i'll watch him drive every single hole i won't watch after that i think he's a he's a j Koepka.
That's actually offensive to our friend Brooks Koepka. But he's trying to be.
I don't even think he is a JV Koepka. He's trying to be.
I think he's cut from the freshman squad. He hits bombs.
Yeah. And I still don't understand the thought process of getting mad at a cameraman and then getting so mad that he talks to the media saying the cameraman was in the wrong and then making it so much bigger Streisand affected himself out of this world so he did this after the round was over he he got in a fight with him at like during the court like so so he hit a bad shot the cameraman followed him again the cameraman's job uh and then he had words with them for about a minute in the middle of the round.
And then afterwards was like, I don't think they should show us in our worst moment. It's bad for our brand and image.
Yeah, he probably thinks his own caddy is a spy. He's like, why is this guy hanging out next to me? Tell me what shots to hit.
Oh, my God. It's I mean, Bryson, you do realize you're on tour, dude.
You're not just fucking, you know, you don't have a tea time on Sunday Sunday morning with with the fellas at the local country club and being like why is this cameraman why the paparazzi out Bryson's gonna be a guy at some point this year is gonna try to be a badass and roll up one of his one of the cuffs on his legs and hit a shot out of the water spray himself down with water and then he's gonna get pissed off that a camera actually broadcast Right, right Exactly. All right, let's do – so we've got takeies coming up.
Let's get to our who's back of the week. We have Jake here.
Hank is on vacation. Jake, why don't you lead us off? Who's back of the week? Jake.
Hank sent one in, but I have one as well. Vacations.
Was Hank's suggestion taking vacations? Yeah. No, Hank's was Masvidal, recurring guest.
Yes. Shadow Realm.
Yes. Fighting on short notice on Saturday night.
Saturday night. That's going to be electric.
So that'll be nice. And mine is live basketball.
We got the TBT that started this weekend. And paired with March Madness nostalgia, you got the big time mid-major names.
You've got Fletcher McGee from Wofford. You've got Mike Dom from South Dakota State.
The Dominator. Ethan Happ from Wisconsin.
Yep. Wet.
My pick,

Bayheim's Army.

No bias whatsoever.

Playing on Tuesday.

Eric Dievendorf and company.

We don't talk about TBT around here, though.

Real quick,

point of order,

is it,

you refer to it as the TBT.

Is it the TBT or just TBT?

Because it's the.

I messed that up.

Yeah, it's okay.

It's like how TSN in Canada is the sports network.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's, we've got TBT coming back.
Yeah, we've got TBT. Fuck TBT.
Yeah, sorry about that. No, that's okay.
It sounds like a disease that's recurring. It's like, damn, I got to go get another penicillin injection.
TBT's back. I'll give TBT a little credit.
What they've done with the court is good. The NBA should obviously take notes.
It feels – Because it's weird not having fans, but they got enough things going on that it doesn't feel like it's a totally empty gym, even though it is. And they invented the bracket advancement sticker.
I don't like the score thing they're doing, though. I don't understand.
The Elam ending? Yeah. That's what they did the NBA All-Star game.
That's such a nerd thing. Yeah, remember how much I struggled with it? Yeah, but it was so fun.
But I struggled with it. But as I recall, you liked it.
But I struggled with it. After you struggled with it.
But I know I don't think I did because I couldn't understand the over-under. I mean, it made it more fun.
I still can't understand the over-under. Explain it to me like I'm a 35-year-old sports blogger who's dumb as shit.
It's a stupid nerd. Hold on, I'll do it first, then you do it.
I'll do it really dumb. You're going to screw it up.
Jason Elam used to kick for the Broncos. He made this stupid math nerd thing where if you're up by a certain amount of points, the game's over.
Okay. So, at the under four time out of the fourth quarter, they washed away the clock.
You've already really irritated me. Yes, I did a better job.
First whistle. Under four minutes left in the game.
All right. So Jason Eland fucking sucks.
I got it. I got it.
Did I not? I explained it well. Yeah.
Yes, I did. First whistle, under four, goodbye clock.
You add eight to the team that's leading score, and you play to that. See how stupid that is? To walk off bucket every time.
It's sick. Whatever.
All right. Fine.
You know what you're doing, though? You're limiting the amount of points that can be scored i can't learn new math that's not cool eight yeah that's what i'm saying yeah that's the over under but jake what if they what if the team was going to go off after those eight points and the other team was going to score 100 points you don't know that i'm also mad because i bet on fletcher mcgee on saturday night because he gave me his word that he would like you know he had that terrible performance against kentucky when fucking what's what's Seaton Hall. No, Wofford.
Wofford should have beaten Kentucky that game. I'm still mad about that.
Yeah. And Fletch McGee was like 0 for 8 from 3.
Right. The first game he made like 8 threes, right? Yeah.
Yeah. Don't forget Fletch, and now he did it again.
I've also texted a few Vermont players. I'm starting I'm starting a petition to get Vermont

a team next year. Nice.

Into TBT. No, into TBT.

Into Jake Marsh's? The Jake

Teeth. Ooh.
Ooh. Yeah, we can start

the name. Nice.
Okay. Cool.
The Vermont

Very Cools. Yeah.
The Blunts. VVC.

That actually sounds pretty sick.

Yeah. So we'll see what happens.
Talk to me in 12

months. The Bongs.
Yeah. That would

be cool. Vermont Green.
Just think about all the merch you could sell. Gravity bongs.
The gravity bongs. The White Owls.
Yeah. But look out for that team next year.
Okay. We will.
The heroines. I can't wait.
Yeah. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself between now and next year.
Might not have any other sports, so who knows? All right, PFT, your who's back. My who's back of the week is baseball staying relevant.
Yes. Because on Thursday, no, Friday morning, baseball announced that they were officially canceling this year's All-Star game.
So thank you, baseball, for reminding us that you're not going to play the game that should have been played tomorrow. Yes.
That's very nice of you to officially announce that today. And you know it's because there was like one baseball nerd writer writer that had the All-Star Game scheduled on their calendar and emailed Rob Manford.
He's like, just a point of order here. I did make travel arrangements a year and a half ago.
Should I cancel those? Should I cancel the team's hotel at the local Marriott? Yeah, so they officially announced that on Friday. And it was baseball at the same time trying to do they were trying to do a friday news dump and they were trying to bury this news on the friday before the fourth of july which is when you have any bad news if you're a corporation right that's the day that you put it out so baseball was like trying to bury it by announcing on this day but instead everybody was like wait they're trying to bury this news on the Friday before the 4th of July.
Nobody actually gives a shit about it. Right, right.
I was so confused when I saw that. And also baseball is relevant because Pablo Sandoval is back looking chonk.
Did you see the media member who took the picture, who basically then did a 12-tweet thread shaming the rest of the internet for shaming Pablo Sandoval? No. When he tweeted the picture who like basically then did a 12 tweet thread shaming the rest of the internet for shaming pablo sandoval no he tweeted the picture of pablo sandoval looking like a blimp knowing what was going to happen like dude you tweeted it you were the one who put it out there it said uh he cultivated mass during quarantine let's see pablo sandoval's oh yeah discussion forever yeah, that's, listen This is the peak male body right here

This is the perfect baseball body

His fucking feet are all like, I don't know what's going on

He's got thigh gap, are we still doing thigh gap?

The thigh gap looks amazing

Go to the chive

Keep calm and

Yeah, it's still there

When life says fuck you

29 photos

Siri, you ignorant

shit, slut

I'm not. and yes still there oh yeah there you go okay when life says fuck you 29 photos siri you ignorant shit slut that's not what i said 32 photos these strange times call for unique drinking deliveries video chive on brother okay um yeah so pablo sandoval's back my uh my who's back is I don't really know how to phrase this.
I don't... Okay.
Well, so... Who's back, big cat? Pedophile accomplices are back.
Gillian Maxwell got arrested. Alan Dershowitz.
Alan Dershowitz. Allegedly, allegedly.
That guy... Keep trying to blog through it, bro.
But I so if you know anything about the Jeffrey Epstein case, it is all kinds of fucked up. I was arguing with someone briefly online who was like, you have to let her have her day in court.
And I was like, he's like, the justice system has to do its job. It's like the same justice system that enabled Jeffrey Epstein.
But why I why i'm saying it's who's back because i just there's something extra special about the political world we're in right now where both left and right try to own each other with pictures of a pedophile accomplice and maybe a pedophile with their candidate yeah and they both go back's like, hey, you both have pictures. Isn't that the problem? I'm kind of the mindset that as bad as things have gotten at all the top levels of government, having the Democrats and Republicans just tweeting photos back and forth of Epstein and Maxwell hanging out with either Bill Clinton or Donald Trump, just going back and forth.
I just run out the clock on America by doing that for the next 10 years. It's too on the nose that people can't fit.
I want to slide a mirror down and have everyone just tap them on the shoulder and be like, hey, look in the mirror. You're just like the problem here is that every politician's been with this fucking pedophile.
Yeah. Has nothing to do with left and right.
It's the fact that the pedophile has been in all of the circles of power. Dershowitz has been going off.
Oh, dude. Somebody get Dershowitz a medium sponsorship so he can put these tweets that he's putting out to a long form blog because he's replying to nobody online and saying, just for the record, every time that I went to Pedophile Island, I always brought my young daughter with dude you see he said release the tapes he's like release the tapes because if i'm not on any of them then i'm clearly not a pedophile wait so there are tapes well there's the did he just unknowingly acknowledge that his client may or may not have had tapes there's idea that jeffrey ever seen basically taped everything in his house like all the time so he's like So he's like.
Big film guy. He was like, yeah, release him.

I'll be exonerated because I won't be a pedophile because I'm not taped being a pedophile.

There you go.

I have a phobia of cameras.

Guy is melting down.

But either way, yeah, those.

I hope that I honestly do hope that she stays alive long enough that we can get some kind of fucking answer. She's probably the closest person to Jeffrey Epstein that there was.
Right. Because I firmly believe that all the powerful politicians and just powerful individuals that were definitely associated with him, including the CIA, by the way.
Now we're getting real woke on this. No, but it's...
He was a CIA asset. Dude, he had so many people

compromise. I think that she had

as much dirt on him

as he had on her, and she's probably

the only person that could say that.

So she probably has,

even though she's a scumbag, and she's

done a lot of unforgivable shit. And possibly

a pedophile herself. And possibly, well, probably

definitely, allegedly a pedophile

herself.

She has maybe a lot of the

information that we need to

Thank you. pedophile herself and possibly will probably definitely allegedly a pedophile herself uh she has maybe a lot of the information which that we need to find out so yeah just how about this let's uh keep her away from manhattan correctional just have just get some fucking answers for the victims jesus christ but yeah that's the uh new the new sport of choice on twitter is being like look at look at this guy look at trump with him look at Clinton with him.
It's like, but isn't the problem that both were? Yeah. I think, didn't Eric Trump tweet out something about Epstein or Maxwell at one of their weddings? And then somebody replied with, well, here he is with your dad.
And then he deleted it. It's self-owned city right now because there was also the woman who said, why have we not arrested any of the alleged pedophiles who have been involved with Jeffrey Epstein, male pedophiles who were involved with Jeffrey Epstein? Why are we going after this woman accomplice? And then someone did the this you.
And there's like 15 pictures with this woman with Gillian Maxwell. Oh, my God.
It was incredible. And I love that.
How could you you be so stupid i love that they're going down the feminism angle with like uh you were only choosing to persecute gillian maxwell because she's a female because she's a strong badass independent woman it's fucking insane pretty much if you if you are tweeting defending in any way you can almost instantly google and find a picture with you with one of them at an art function in the last 15 years jesus yeah well what's crazy about it is these people have their pictures taken more than anyone like there's so many pictures out here like i think that if you would go to getty images and search for leonardo dicaprio paparazzi pictures you're not going to find as many pictures of him like carrying cat litter out of the local beastie feast to go home and feed his kittens as you're going to find of jelaine maxwell just next to rich and powerful people at popular like public events it's crazy so um i'm i'm glad that i don't think that we've ever been in the same room see now i'm now i'm questioning myself like i'm sure she'll be like this you bro was she did she attend the one year of anniversary of bbt at irving plaza i don't know is she a big pup punk fan dude imagine if she's like sick of takeies on monday i'm in jail but at least i'll find out if i'm an awl still you know what in the off chance that jelaine mackerel has listened to an episode of part of my take i'm revoking this of her award-winning listener status take it from her it's like a reggie bush heisman she is no longer a listener she never listened to the show vacate that shit vacated out sorry jelaine good no not sorry not sorry sorry no don't say sorry all right let's get to the takeies we got some awesome awards great show coming up blake of uh the year is coming up podcast listener of the year and a bunch more before we do that when it comes to meat quality matters but there's more to it than texture and taste you got to try butcher box you have to try butcher box butcher box is the best thing out there you get great meat humanely sourced meat straight to your door every single month you don don't have to go shopping. You can get it delivered and it is so, so good.
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like i said you want to have the meats on the grill so butcherbox.com slash take okay let's get

to it the 2020 take

okay let's do it we have 22 awards 21 awards that we are going to give out for the takey uh the takey awards 2019,

2020,

half of 2019,

2020,

only we would create an award that is halfway through the year, therefore confusing when exactly the award should be given. I think it's pretty clear that it's just like a 12-month period.
Yeah. If it happened since the last Takeys.
It's a Baker's dozen. And then we add in that extra month.
If it happened in June of last year, we're going to count that. I'd like to just, off the top of my head, give an impromptu award of worst year of the year to 2020.
Ooh, 2016, not up there? I think worst year of the year is 2020. 2020, we are halfway through, but we've still got six more months.
Once 2020 ends, everything's going to get back to normal. It's going to be perfect.
Do you think 2020 is going to run up the score on us? That's a big question. They're getting some style points right now.
Second half team? Yeah, we're getting our ass kicked. We have no answers.
First half, we chill out. Second half, we go the fuck off.
2020 is going to go the fuck off. Imagine if 2020 hasn't even gone the fuck off yet.
Dude, we haven't got to aliens yet. Yeah, it's all going to happen.
Although aliens could be...

I'd be down for the aliens at this point.

Aliens would be sweet.

You're welcome to distraction.

Spice it up.

A nuclear attack would be just a heat check from 2020.

Yes.

One of these polarized caps is going to melt completely.

Yes, exactly.

So we have our Takey of the Years, Takey Awards.

I don't know why I keep saying Takey of the Year.

Takey Awards.

We're going to give away 21 awards.

We have everything. What was the award we were just discussing that we could give away as an extra? Fuck.
A bonus Takey right off the bat? Yeah, we were thinking about a bonus Takey right off the bat, and it's already eluded me. Do you want to explain why the Takeys were even started in the first place? Oh, yes.
For newer listeners? Oh, we just actually listened back to last year's Takeys in the beginning of the show. I say, so it's time for the takeies because it's that time of the year where we have no sports.
And holy shit, would I give anything to go back to that time of the year with no sports where it's literally. Think about this.
We complain about no sports when there are two days on the calendar with no sports. At least this is the worst.
You know what? It's not the worst thing in the world that we didn't get a batting title or a home run derby this year because we are still trying to avoid eating each other's asses. That's like a little silver lining in the situation.
But yeah, it's like you don't have a home run derby. That week it's the home run derby, the ESPYs, and then there's like one day that's filled with W WNBA games.
Yes. We looked at that week as being the worst possible time to be us, and now that week is Groundhog's Day.
Yes, that week I would give anything. I would love to watch the sky and Mercury.
I would love it anyway because I always love watching WNBA, but I would especially love it if they had a game this afternoon, a little matinee that they play in the summertime when kids go to camp camp. But yeah, so that is why we created the awards.
It is in response to the ESPYs that have been canceled. The ESPYs happened.
That was a fucking... That was a fart in the wind.
Do you know how many people watched? I think it was like 50,000. When you said that it was happening...
Yeah. That was the first and last I had thought of it.
So there it is. Nobody thought of it.
I think if you were a host of that show, if you were an award presenter or an award receiver, you and your immediate family watched it. Besides that, I don't think anybody did.
No, they gave Snacks an award and they didn't even fucking tag him. Really? Like SportsCenter tweeted it and he was like, yo, like, can I, you know, at least put my fucking mention, put my at in there.
Oh, God damn it jake just sent us an average of 482 000 viewers why'd you have to send that but that making it the smallest audience on record yeah but still that's a lot of fucking people that's all you know what that's the gyms they still have their tvs on from before coronavirus yeah they haven't turned those off the gyms that's that's the only thing that's on in the gym right now there There's no electricity, but those TVs are still going. You know what? This show, the Takey Awards for the first time ever, are going to have more listeners and viewers, if you're Scaramucci, than the ESPYs.
So we finally passed them. Yes.
Good job, guys. Yes.
All right, so let's get into it. We have a ton of Takeys.
21 take you some great stuff some great guests some great

celebrity uh presenters but we are going to start with with a nice general one to kick us off worst take of the year and the nominees and we'll discuss every nominee as we go along so the nominees this one is one of those uh worst take of the year some of them have been said in the past and now came through this past year. So the nominees are Dan Woken.
Ooh, that's a funny name. That's a very funny name right now.
So he tweeted in 2017 yesterday a college football coaches agent called me. Literally translates to Libcat.
Yeah, that's true. Yeah.
he called me he called me and he said uh lsu

hired ed ogeron we laughed for a few minutes so good job dan that turned out to be the worst take ever like sneakily that's an awesome thing to do because you get so much interaction on that tweet and it keeps on giving down the road the more lsu keeps winning yes the more your tweet becomes super relevant. True.

Skip Bayless for throwing away

his Ezekiel Elliott jersey

with his ball-level microwave. That's up there.
And then he had to take it out later. And then he had to take it out.
John Elway saying that at age 34, Joe Flacco is just going into his prime. Joe Flacco was an absolute disaster for the Denver Broncos.
Our boss, Dave Portnoy, telling TMZ that there was no chance that Tom Brady will be leaving New England. And I had a subsection for myself because we started to throw it out there.
I said my subsection is right before 24 hours before they decided there was going to be no March Madness, I said I would inject myself with coronavirus if they canceled March Madness. That's a bad take.
Bad take. I said thanks for coming out, Chiefs, pretty much every time they went down in the playoffs.
And finally, worst take of the year, Laker Dan, when he started tweeting Kobe slander 12 hours before Kobe tragically passed away, which was just bad timing. There was no way that you could have known about that.
I was in the matrix. The coronavirus one, there were signals that maybe you should not have offered.
By the way, can you inject yourself with coronavirus? I think you could try to inject yourself. Eventually I will with the vaccine.
Well, when you inject yourself with coronavirus, you don't get Corona, right? Because you have, you can only catch it through respiratory. Yeah, true.
Through the droplets. I still can't believe that they canceled everything.
I mean, I can now, but the shock, the awe, remember that? That sucked. All right.
So the winner is Dan Woken for his LSU. They hired Ed Ogeron and all we we did was laugh tweet.
Who's laughing now, bitch? Have it. Have it.
So that's worst take of the year. What do we have next? Next up, we have trend of the year.
This is always a fun one to fill out. Kind of take a trip down memory lane and remember all the weird stuff that happened.
The first nomination for trend of the Year is Richard Milley Watches. Richard Milley? Richard Mill? Richard Mill Watches.
What are those? That's what Odell Beckham got fined for wearing. Oh, got it.
Going for two when you're down 14. That's my personal vote because I love to just flex on people and let them know that I know math.
The math says if you go for two, if you don't get it, you can do it again. Yeah.
I can't wait till that. See, those are the little things I miss about sports is just learning one small fact about analytics and then telling everyone who I ever encounter for the rest of my life that small fact to try to make them think that I'm a smart person.
11 personnel, one running back, one tight end. There it is.
Boom. Next nominee is disavowing the royal family.
Yes. So whether that's your own inheritance or if maybe you are linked to visiting Jeffrey Epstein's island and you're getting kicked out of the royal family, just separating from the royal family in general is very hot in the street.
I like this one like to say yeah preemptively i will not ever accept an invitation to the royal family no i still fuck with the queen no you do well then i don't fuck with you oh that's problem problematic ever here is kind of a pedophile alleged ever here a lot of allegations declaration of independence i have a bunch of people signed that piece of paper a bunch of people paid the ultimate price for it to give you your freedoms and your liberty and you're turning your back on them you heard the Declaration of Independence, Hank? I have. A bunch of people signed that piece of paper.
A bunch of people paid the ultimate price for it to give you your freedoms and your liberty. And you're turning your back on them.
You're subjugating yourself to the United Kingdom like a bitch. Do we let Billy talk right now? Yeah.
Because I feel like it's dangerous. As soon as Epstein's Island comes up, I think that it's...
Hank's what the colonists used to call a royalist. Ooh, nice.
Royalist. Got him.
Let's tar tar feathers. Got him.
That's right. That's in vogue though.
Tax collector. Disavowing.
Yeah. And have Harry and Meghan Markle moved back stateside now? Are they here? I think so.
Did they move to Canada first? Canada? Yeah. They're doing like a lukewarm adjustment period.
You can't just jump into the United States from UK. You got to spend some time up in like Labrador Shout out them, though, for standing up to their creepy-ass uncle.
Next nominee is cheating. So just cheating in general, whether you're the Houston Astros or you're Tristan Thompson and Khloe Kardashian.
Scott Van Pelt playing NCAA 14. That's right, using sliders.
Tracing all his players. Yeah, only Scott would get away with something like that.
And the winner is... Cheating.
Cheating! Hot new trend. Also, shout out to the New York Yankees, because their fans were the first ones to jump on the Asper.
Yes! Turns out, you might want to clean out your house before you start going over to somebody else's house. Cheating was very hot.
Cheating was very

hot this year. Shout out to Alex Bregman for

coming on the show. It was a real shame that

baseball didn't play because he came on the show and was like

I think people should retaliate by

hitting players right before that came out

and everyone was like oh you're going to get smoked.

Unintentionally. I think we did this a few

months ago. The unintentional

beneficiaries of coronavirus. Houston

Astros definitely one of them.

Oh, yeah.

Like, no one's thought about how they need to get beamed a million times.

That's going to be so fun, seeing baseball come back and being like, oh, yeah, we hate the Astros.

Imagine if they break the record for hit by a batter in a 60-game series, like break the 162-game record.

I think we can do it.

I believe strongly enough in the unwritten rules of baseball. Hell, yes Alright, next up we have Football Guy of the Year.
This year, been a lot of football guys we love. So, the nominees will be Will Muschamp, who said the quote, Thanksgiving is a meal, not a day, when talking about whether his players would practice or whether he would watch film.
So he's pretty much in and out. That's just a regular meal.
We're going to get in. We're going to get out.
We're going to get back to looking like a sweaty dog watching all this film. Dan Mullen, not for letting his wife kiss the entire team, but he let everyone know that he learned to multiply by sevens before any other number so he could count TDs.
So that's a big-time football guy. Huge move.
Coach Ed Ogeron, our good friend, for winning the national title and telling all the haters to suck that tiger dick, bitch. And for going jogging at high noon every day to make friends with the sun.
Roll Tide What, Fuck You. Yeah, Roll Tide What, Fuck You all- time clip uh just pretty much having one of the best football teams of all time and just shoving it down the haters throats and then the winnipeg blue bombers fan chris matthew who hadn't worn pants in 18 years until his team won the great cup we had him on the show uh he then put on pants that guy all-time football guy that we year.
Winner is, we have sound for this, right? We have sound for this. The winner is, we have the person who is accepting this.
Drum roll. Can you put it in drum roll? Do you have cheesy drum roll? Thank you for your friendship.
You guys are phenomenal. Go Tigers.
Go Tigers. Okay, Coach O.
I just love hearing him say thank you boys for your friendship. I love him so much.
We actually have to send. We should just start sending shit.
Send the trophy out. Let's actually make the trophy this year.
Now we have Jake Marsh. We have to send it to.
Yeah. Jake is our wild card.
So he can actually follow through on our empty promises. Right.
So we owe a trophy to Jim Harbaugh. We owe a trophy to Coach O.
Who else? What is the trophy? I think it's just a football. Yeah, I can't remember.
We actually designed it, and then we just ran out of gas. I think it's just a football.
It might be just a football. Maybe we just sign a football and give it to him.
Yeah, we'll put it inside of a glass case or something like that. Dip it in gold.
Ooh, a bronze dip football. Cheese? A fondue set with a football.
See if we can get any of these coaches to eat a football. I'm down for that.
Yeah, Andy Reid would absolutely eat a football. What is this? Yeah, just deep fried.
Dunkin' and cheese. You're good to go.
Little cubes of football. Okay, next up.
Next up, we got the Rising Star. The Rising Star of the Year Award.
And do we have a cameo for this one? Oh, yeah. Okay, we have a special guest presenter.
I can say that the nominees are Jason Whitlock for entering the Take Game. Yes.
Starting to blog. Yep.
Woody Page. Still calling it his column, though.
That's right, yeah. Gotta give him a shout.
Gotta give Jason Whitlock a shout-out. Even though he's just blogging, which we've all been all been doing for like 20 years, he will write on his tweet check out my column today that's not what a column is but I don't care a column is a blog for boomers so it works out Woody Page for starting a podcast for inventing podcasting and then our darling Jake Marsh as rising star of the year I think he was nominated last year for this award as well but for taking darren revel head-on apply directly to the forehead this is not your content darren this is jake marsh and he's coming for your job yes okay hank you want to play us uh the winner la la la la welcome i'm kato kailin La la la la la la la la la.
Welcome. I'm Kato Kaelin.
La la la la la la la la la. From one recurring guest to another, I am proud to announce the takey for 2020.
Media Rising Star is none other than Woody Page. I know there's a lot of hoopla.
As a matter of fact, this is such a popular award. I wrote a song for you, and it's a congratulatory song called Kinky with Jakey.

it really took some liberties from this cameo. Wow, I hate a winning fighter leaving the octagon cage.

The 2020 takey goes to Woody Page.

The ballots were counted

and it's no farce.

If you don't believe me,

just ask Jake Marsh. raise and now I gotta go pee pee congratulations Woody Page from Kato Kaelin and of course one more award you won the little Kato award he's missing a hand but there's a high five and this is your award Woody Jake you guys get a group hug whoa not so tight with little Kato alright congrats I love you guys get a group hug.
Whoa, not so tight with little Kato. All right.
Congrats. I love you guys.
Woody. Bye.
Kato really, he goes above and beyond and delivers on those cameos, doesn't he? Well, I was going to say, cameo is great because we find out who is on cameo to make a quick buck and who is on Cameo because they just desperately want to talk to another human being. Kato, obviously, in the latter.
And then the people who just do the bare minimum, like get in, get out, let me take your money. There's a lot of those.
I mean, I think that song is the song of the summer. Yes.
Yes, absolutely. Wow, what a track.
We'll put it on Spotify. Who's Kato? Kato Kaling was OJ's house guest.
He lived in the pool. He's like you in the 90s.
Yeah, pretty much. Actually, yes.
If you had been witness to the murder of the century, you would have been Kato Kaling. If your hair was a little nicer.
Uh-huh. I'm lost.
Okay, yeah, exactly. You are Kato Kaling.
Yes, you are kato kaelin uh all right next up uh thank you kato kaelin for that wonderful rendition of whatever the fuck that song was next up we have uh the award for family friendly chain restaurant offering a sports bar style setting for american food and arcade games of the year what award. Who could it be? So the nominees are Chuck E.
Cheese. Boo.
And Dave and Buster's. Yeah.
And the winner is Dave and Buster's because we love going to Buster's. And we haven't been in forever.
We're going to put in the all-time Monday reading, The Buster's Guy. So here it is.
If you missed it, the the throwback let's throw it back to busters guy here it is my uh she's 25 boyfriend he's 27 of two years is obsessed with dave and busters fair so far i don't see a problem i really don't know where to start with this and it sounds very petty but i am at my wits end dealing with my boyfriend. Some context, we have been together for two years, and he is overall fantastic.
Very thoughtful, kind, funny, interesting, and responsible. For instance, he always brings me my favorite snacks when he goes out without me even asking for them.
That's a try-hard move. He'll comfort me after a tough day at work.
I work at a call center and get some crazy ones. For the most part, he is also very respectful of me.
This sounds like a great relationship, PFT. We were both raised Catholic, and he's very active in the church and an overall stand-up guy, which I admire a lot.
Literally the only problem in our relationship is this obsession with Dave and Busters. I'd say that he's the total package.
He's the total package. I'm only telling you guys all this so you don't just tell me to break up with him because although we have this problem, I really don't want to leave him.
I guess I'll just get to the bad part. My boyfriend absolutely must go to Dave & Buster's once a week or else he throws a tantrum.
I am not exaggerating when I use the word tantrum. We are talking crying, stomping, et cetera.
It's bad. That's, again, Dave and Buster's is awesome.
Yeah. So this is a little crazy.
None of this behavior is abnormal to me. He will beg and plead and state that the only thing he wants is for us to, quote, go to Buster's.
Why are you leaving Dave out of it, though? I admire the fact that he's shorted it. Let's hit Buster's.
That he's got his own pet name for Dave and Buster's. Basically, you're in a relationship with three guys right now, your boyfriend, Buster, and Dave.
And if it's been more than a week, he'll say we haven't been in, quote, forever. I love this guy.
I want to be best friends with this guy. This guy has given off major, like, I grew up in, like, some weird cult-like environment vibes, right? And all these prizes.
Yeah, and Dave and Buster's was, like... He's an intramural champion.
Yeah, I like this. I like this guy.
It was his first introduction to electricity, and so he just, like, fell in love with it. Yeah.
Scratch MJ's competitiveness. This guy's competitiveness.
I've tried talking it through with him. I've suggested other restaurants, even other barcades.
But it has to be Dave & Buster. It's not the same.
They don't have the same burgers. They don't have the Power Play card.
They don't have the Million Dollar Midway. There's so many things.
Yes. So many games.
Like, take me to a Chuck E. Cheese, and I will throw a fucking fit.
Also, new barcades, they always do the hipster throwback games. Like, oh, we have the Simpsons game.
Don't you love it? Nostalgia have the hits they have the old stuff they have the good new stuff you got to go to david buster just stay away from the deer hunter that makes you accidentally play zombies sometimes because like i there's nothing worse than going up to a nice game of big buck hunter oh and then it's and you select your game they give you zombies shout out anyone who still has cruising usa uh when i tell him i don't really enjoy going with him and that he could go alone, he says something like, what do you mean? You love Busters. I give you all the prizes.
This guy's giving away the prizes? It's not even about the material things. It's about the process that he really loves.
That's more than just a stuffed animal. Yeah.
That's more than the bouncy ball, the crazy bouncy yeah it's it's more than the like weird jelly hand things that you can slap and stick on people those are only available like being redeemed for tickets you can't buy those on the normal market you think you just buy beanie babies knock knock off beanie babies these days hell no key chains yeah you better believe he's got key chains when we do go we spend a ridiculous

amount of money which i split with him now that now you are a good girlfriend and he makes me follow him around to each game to play together that's it oh wait no no i pressed him about it and the only explanation he's been able to give me is that he had his ninth birthday at d&b's and considers it, quote, the single best day of his life.

You know, holy shit. I love this fucking guy.
This guy's Jim Harbaugh. Yeah, he might be.
I won so much. This is absolutely something that Jim Harbaugh would do.
Shout out this guy because there's nothing like dominating something and then being like for the rest of your life saying I just want to do that again yeah that specific thing and you know what like the more i think about it like planning your entire week around one day of drinking food and watching cool like video games sports that's exactly what we do with football yeah and it's also what's the alternative going through every sitcom you've ever watched and figuring out how everyone's problematic i'd go to dave and busters you know what's depressing is driving past the dave and busters and not going yeah be like man i really wish i'd go in everything that you do for the rest of your drive will not be as fun as going into dave and busters going into busters yeah uh how do i help him move past this i really want to keep dating this man i know nostalgia can be a powerful force but this is absolutely unacceptable please help uh too long didn't read boyfriend is obsessed with D and B's and won't accept not going there at least once a week. We have a great relationship.
Other than that, blah, blah, blah, blah. I don't see any problem with this.
No, you need to just you're dating the coolest guy on the planet. Yes.
The only way that you can actually beat this is if you get better at Dave and Buster's than him. Yeah, that's the only way you cannot tell him not to go to Buster's.
You cannot tell him, hey, we, you know, let's skip a week because then he'll say we haven't been there in forever. You can't have him go solo.
The only solution if you really don't want to go to Buster's is you have to get the high score on every single fucking game. That's exactly right.
You have to win more tickets than one time. Yes, that's really it.
And he will never go again. He'll never go again.
Or just like, what if they go on a vacation? They probably can't go on a vacation. I think they probably go to vacations around Dave & Buster's.
Only in cities that have Dave & Buster's in them? You can't go overseas. They've been to Tampa many times.
Yeah, Jesus. There's one on every block.
It's like Starbucks in Tampa. Oh, man.
Alright, that's our Monday reading. Shout out that guy.
If someone knows that guy, I would love to talk to him. Let's go to Dave and Buster's with him.
Yes. In New York.
We will fly you out. I love anybody that's that passionate about any weird small thing.
I just find them fascinating. Someone has to know this guy because there can't be that many guys walking around being like, I need to go to Buster's because of the best day of my life.
Quote, the single best day of his life. I mean, the staff at Dave & Buster's definitely knows him.
He's a regular. He's the only one that walks into Dave & Buster's and says, I'll have the usual.
And honestly, there's nothing cooler than being a regular at a bar. No, you want to go to a place where everyone knows your name.
You show up and everyone's like, hey, here he comes. He probably changed his name to Dave and Buster.
Maybe Dave Buster. Shout out Dave and Buster.
Way to go. Way to keep it going.
Through a pandemic. Unbelievable.
Okay, what do we got next, PFT? Next up is the Premature Celebration of the Year. So we've got a few nominees here.
First is Ole Miss and Mississippi State. Just the state of Mississippi.
The Egg Bowl gets the Lifetime Achievement Award. I'll say that right now for a continuously premature celebration ending that they always have every single year.
The second nominee is the 49ers for putting up an Instagram picture of their interception in the Super Bowl and saying, hang it in the Louvre before they won.

And then the last nominee is the state of Florida.

Just the state of Florida.

Yep.

Just pulling it to Sean Jackson.

We're ready to go.

The take he goes to the 49ers.

Yes.

The 49ers.

Just because they put a filter on it and everything

and had it all captioned and properly hashtagged with the right location.

Just tough.

Brutal.

Just a tough way to end the season.

Kyle Shanahan.

I want Kyle Shanahan to someday win a Super Bowl,

but him just being the big game.

That was a torch passing from Andy Reid to Kyle Shanahan.

We need one guy in every sport who constantly can't get over the hump.

And if he's that guy, so be it.

It just happens to be Kyle Shanahan.

I kind of hope that it sticks around with him for a while just because it's fun.

It's fun to see different new ways that he could possibly do that.

Right, and it's fun to just have that storyline of who can get over the big hump.

You need that in sports.

All right, next up we have postseason tournament that Duke basketball

I'm going to play in the NCAA tournament before the NCAA tournament was canceled, therefore eliminating themselves. So Duke did not qualify for the NCAA tournament is what you're saying.
Yeah, they Lehighed themselves. Got it.
Okay. The NIT, the CBI, and I think there's one other.
CIT. There it is, Jake.
Alright, we have a cameo. We have a special guest presentation from here.
Let's get it. Here it is.
Hi, I'm Cassius Stanley from the 2019-2020 Duke Blue Doubles. Here to present the take-he for postseason tournament that the 2019-2020 Duke basketball team didn't qualify for of the year.
And the winner is the 2019-2020 NCAA tournament.

He was so confused.

Stanley, who was on that team,

announcing his own team, not making the tournament.

We should have done an AOC of the year.

Have Hank present that.

Ah, shit.

Where did he transfer to?

DePaul.

Yeah, that's right. So you're going to get some good stuff there.
Or Creighton, maybe. Maybe Creighton sounds right.
Creighton sounds right. Creighton.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Duke eliminated themselves before the tournament was canceled.
Hank has to get a cap. Nope.
They didn't even qualify. It was probably their year, too.
That's the worst part. No, it was a crazier in NCAA this year.
Okay. All right.
It was a monster year. For sure.
Before we do the next award, Pia, do you want to do a quick ad? Yes, I would love to. Ever had one of those days when it's just too cold to keep working? Nah, neither has Ariat.
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And weather whatever in Ariat work year. All right, back to the Takey Awards.
This is one of my favorite awards that we give out of the year.

Mine too, yes.

From the start, we gave out Lib of the Year, the Lib of the Year Award.

And I believe Chris Long is a three-time recurring champion.

Is he?

I think so.

I don't think he's ever been beaten.

Damn.

Tough to find a bigger Lib than Chris Long. What a beast.

So Lib Man, Chris Long is nominated again.

Okay.

Also nominated for Lib of the Year, Mike Gundy. Yes.
For not wearing an OAN shirt. Mm-hmm.
All the times he didn't wear one. Well, he stopped wearing OAN shirts.
So Lib of the Year nominee, Mike Gundy. Lib of the Year nominee, Drew Brees.
Lib of the Year nominee, Billy Football. Yep.
For rehoming the raccoons instead of killing them. Big animal rights activist.
Billy Football, nominated for Libby the Year. You cock.
You cock. What the fuck? Billy, back in the day, when men were men, we would take care of trash pandas with our bare hands.
We strangled it. We didn't take them over to daycare across the street, okay? Yep.
Libby football. I don't have...
And the Lib of the Year nominee, the last one on the list is NASCAR. NASCAR, famous libs over at NASCAR.
So let's find out who won Lib of the Year. How you doing, Jake? It's Big Time Tommy.
And it is my honor to announce the Live of the Year Award. We got a strong field this year.
We got Chris Long, Mike Gundy, Billy Football, and NASCAR. Drumroll, please.
And the award goes to... It's a tie between Between everyone Everyone gets a participation trophy You know why? Because that's the old school way Have a great summer guys OS for life Dickities Oh I love it Congrats Billy Congrats Billy You're part of it Everyone actually got it make sure.
Congrats, Billy. I got it? Yeah, you're part of it.
You're part of it.

No, this is, I'm not, okay.

Everyone actually got it.

We all shared.

Every listener, every person in America has shared now in the Lib of the Year Award.

Yes.

Actually, no, I think it's just the nominees.

I think only if you were nominated.

Yeah.

So, we got to make sure that we.

Is Chris now your favorite long brother? Yeah. Has to be.
Kyle,yle no me and kyle you guys share a trophy together in an ideology yeah you guys are eskimo bros of a lib of the year trophy yeah dude i mean he's just you're you're fucking the same uh tax returns what dude i just i'm just billy just say say something nice yeah Yeah, say something lib. No.
I'm not... Go ahead.
Thank the people. I'm not...
Thank you so much big time, Tommy, for the shout out. I'm a huge fan of your videos.
Old school style. You're such a big fan of his videos that you just don't even have the line correct.

Old school way.

OS for life.

Billy's just so overcome right now with his wind.

I'm so honored. You're weeping.

This lib cuckery is just in my brain.

No, there's no cuckery.

This isn't cuck of the year.

Yeah, it is.

It's a disease.

It's a brain disease.

Is this lib cuck of the year?

Have you seen the bumper stickers, Billy? It's a mental disorder. Dude, do I need to go to the doctor? Yes, probably.
Okay. All right.
That was the Lib of the Year Award. All right.
The next takey that we have is the Takey Award for question we asked Rob Lowe to ask Magic Johnson on Rob Lowe's new podcast when he had Magic Johnson on as a guest. Of the year.
Of the year. And the winner is Rob Lowe asking Magic Johnson the question that we asked him.
Let's play that question. I have another question I want to ask you.
Okay. So I did, do you know Pardon My Take? You know that great.
Yes. Right? Yes.
So those guys are huge fans of yours, as you know. Right.
And they're like, you need to ask. I said, look, you're the best sports podcast.
I'm going to be interviewing Magic. He's going to be one of my first guests.
Do you have any questions? Do you have any thoughts? And they're like, you have to ask him, does he write his own tweets? And I was like, what? That's of all the things, of all the things that you could ask one of the greatest men players, that's what they wanted to ask. And so here I am.
I'm asking, why are they obsessed with your tweets? I don't know. No, I have somebody write them out.

I tell them what I want to say and they write them.

That's right.

Yeah, that's what I kind of do.

I mean, do I need to go back into your Twitter feed and see if it looks like somebody else took over your feed and there's crazy Charles Barkley smack talk going on?

Am I missing something?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I don't get into that on my Twitter feed.

No, you're smart.

We're going to continue with the takeies in a second,

but before we do,

we're going to get right back to the show.

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Thank you. countless irrelevant menu options which is why with usaa auto insurance you'll get great service that is easy and reliable all at the touch of a button get a quote today restrictions apply all right back to part of my take and now back to the takies uh the next award is the canadian of the year the canadian of the year we've got some great nominees we've got uh don cherry nominated for his service to canada yep uh we have lucas magnata from don't fuck with cats remember that hey you guys remember that show yeah lucas magnata canadian of the year and then luke wilson for wearing the pardon my take shirt on hard knocks unfortunately as he was cut by the turk doesn't matter doesn't matter he got back in the league he he joined the uh he joined the seahawks later on in the year, and he was rocking the Canadian tuxedos left and right all year long.
God, that feels like 10 years ago. It does.
It was less than a year ago. I was actually thinking about that the other day because I was complaining that we don't have any football without realizing that literally every year at this time of year I don't have football and I complain about it.
But for some reason it feels like it's been longer for me to go without football. I'm just going to assume that it has for some reason.
I don't know why. But the Canadian of the Year Award goes to Luke Wilson.
Yeah. Sorry to the other nominees, but Luke Wilson, good friend of the program.
Congratulations, Luke. By the way, if anyone can get any of these people to give an acceptance speech, we more than welcome to uh try to get them well i'm sure we can get luke wilson to give us an acceptance speech but hopefully the days after we'll live off the high of the takeies and get some acceptance speeches rolling yeah for sure um all right next up we have invention of the year this is a loaded class this year uh number one lister quill by Hank, by Henryry lockwood lister quill combining listerine and nyquil for the perfect knock you out clean your teeth now do you brush your teeth with lister like do you brush your teeth as well no okay you don't brush your teeth so you now just realize that this is a hack for you to not have to brush no no, no.
You brush your teeth. It's cutting out a step of your nighttime routine.
Brush your teeth, take mouthwash, drink a little NyQuil. This cuts out steps two and three.
Got it. It combines it.
Do you normally swallow Listerine? No. But if it's mixed with NyQuil, if you cut it with NyQuil, you can work it.
No, you guys aren't up to speed on the technology. The technology is that you don't have to swallow it.
It just seeps into your gums when you... Ah, so you still spit the whole thing out.
Yes. So you're not swallowing the NyQuil.
No. Blister Quil.
Okay. Got it.
Got it. Okay.
It seeps into your gums. It's a patented technology.
I think you should brush your teeth after that, though. Yeah, probably.
Because it would taste nasty. Do you guys do mouthwash before you brush your teeth? No.
Sometimes. I don't really have an order.
But why are you drinking so much NyQuil? Yeah, why are you drinking so much NyQuil? I'm not. But when I do, I'm like, damn.
Wish I could cut it out of step. It's taking so long.
Okay, alright, that's one of our inventions of the year. Number two is the coronavirus vaccine, which surely has to have.
We're taping this a week before, so it came, so we're just going to assume it came out. Yeah, it came out last week.
That's awesome. Sports are back.
NFL 100 logo, which was so fucking cool. Yeah, it was.
It's going to look weird this year, won't it? Yeah, no. Although...
It could do 101. The new football looks awesome.
Yeah. With the red, white, and blue logo on it instead.
Sick. And then finally, Elon Musk's truck that was supposed to be like the greatest defense truck of all time.

Then he threw a rocket in the window cracked.

That was a great invention.

So the winner is, again, we're taping this a little bit before, but the coronavirus vaccine.

Yes.

Which surely has come out.

We did it, science.

Good job.

I can't believe we're...

This is unbelievable.

Shout out Bill Gates. They said...
Appreciate it. Yeah, they said February at the earliest, but nope, they got it by July 6th.
Great job. Thank you to Billy Football and his idol George Soros for funding the creation of the vaccine.
Good job, guys. Love you, Billy.
Thank you. No.
Okay. Next up.
Next up, we have this category is the PFT's Dad of the Year Award.

My favorite.

There are some great nominees.

We had a new challenger enter the fray this past year.

So the nominees are Mike Florio from Pro Football Talk, my internet dad.

Marlon's man has entered the chat this year.

Why?

Because he hung out with my mom for a while and they're good friends. Interesting.
And then my real dad. Marlon's man has entered the chat this year.
Why? Because he hung out with my mom for a while and they're good friends. Interesting.

And then my real dad. Okay.

So who knows who it's

going to be? Do we have the presenter for us?

Hi everyone, this is Marlon's

man. As you know, I'm a Barstool believer.

Can I have the envelope, please?

So, the

2020

Heike Best Father

of PFT of the Year Award

goes to

Thank you. so the 2020 Heike Best Father of PFT of the Year Award goes to Mr.
Commenter you're the winner yay hey by the way PFT the World Series Champion Nationals are looking pretty good right now tell your mom I sent my love Shoot or shoot Oh real dad I'm very happy that Marlins man is not My father of the year But he announced it so he kind of still is He's my dad's dad of the year Right he's your grandpapa Grandpapa yeah Watch out for the elevators. It's great, great grandpapa.
That's a deep cut. You got to earn your AWL if you get what happened just now.
My great, great grandfather had an elevator fall on his head. All right.
My next up. Pretty simple explanation.
We got Thirst Trap of the Year. So the nominees for Thirst Trap of the the year are doja cat who promised to uh it was a literal trap yeah literal trap free the nipples she was gonna dump them out if uh her album hit one it did then she said haha just fucking with all you guys pretty much uh giving the entire internet blue balls which how stupid is it that i i just love the idea that a bunch of people voted a million times to see some nipples while on online where they could get all the porn in the world and then when she's like hi i'm not showing you my nipples they're like fuck you how could you do this i can't comb anymore you know what though it's just like it's you always want what you can't have so the first time you see a woman and she's got a shirt on you're like i really want to see the tatas right right the first time you see her and she's already got them out you're like oh whatever right you're just giving me that you're giving me the milk i won't buy the cow um brooks kapka his gq spread where he was looking really really hot and uh trying extra hard to be the heartthrob of the golf world.

Suck our dicks, Brandon Chambliss.

Just Brandon to chimpanzee blow.

And then we have finally Julian Edelman for his Father's Day thirst trap where he said

happy Father's Day, dad, and then posted a gif where he had his shirt off catching a football, and his dad, you could barely see his dad in the background. All right, and the winner, we have a special guest presenter.
Here he is. Hey, everyone.
Chris Hansen here of Hansen vs. Predators.
To catch a predator and have a seat with Chris Hansen, I'm going to need you all to take a seat right over there. I'm here to present the takey for Thirst Trap of the Year.
And the winner is Julian Edelman for his Father's Day Thirst Trap. Enjoy.
I'll be watching. See you soon.
Damn. He was kind of creepy there.
Yeah. He really creeped me out.
I didn't even watch it until just now. You know, they did that.
The very first episode to Catch a Predator was like around the street. It was around the corner from my house growing up.
Yeah, the very first one. It was kind of weird that they just said, hey, we're going to take this residential neighborhood and just have a parade of pedophiles stopping by.
Yeah, Chris Hansen. It's good to see that he's still just out there doing his thing, whatever it is.
He seems like he has a show. He'd want to try something else after a while.
Well, did you say he has a show called Take a Seat with Chris Hansen? He's really milking that, huh? He asked the pedophiles questions. So who was your inspiration? Was it Jeffrey Dahmer? Let's go through the transcripts.
I'm going to say the Crown Prince of France. Yeah, who did you look up to? The OG pedophile.
When you were a kid. Alright, next up.
Socrates was my guy.

Next up we've got

the Apology of the Year Award.

Apology was a big year for apologies.

We had the likes of Rudy

Gobert apologizing to

the entire United States and the NBA

and all the reporters for

infecting people with the coronavirus

when he got back from

a trip overseas. Didn't take it seriously and touched every microphone.
Then we've got Drew Brees with the epic handshake picture. I'm not even going to address the apology, just the picture itself.
The black hand, the white hand, shaking hands. That said it all.
Mike Gundy, his apology when he actually actually did the Predator handshake in live action

in real time.

And then Big Ben apologizing to the Lord for jacking off.

Yes.

So this is a stacked field this year.

We're going to give the award to Drew Brees.

Oh, yeah.

For the Shutterstock image of fighting racism.

And I think it actually did end racism.

Yes.

Haven't heard a lot about it since. Congratulations, Drew.
Good job, Drew Brees. Way to go.
I still can't believe it. I mean, credit to Drew Brees, though.
Here's the one thing I'll say in defense of his use of the Shutterstock. He found the version of it that took at least 30 seconds to scroll down and find.
He didn't pick the first one. So that's a good job by his PR team.
Yeah, and he also remembered to download the real image and not just do the screenshot where it says Shutterstock on it. That's what if Swag Kelly had gotten in trouble for racism, you can better believe you would still see the Getty Images watermark on his apologies.
Yes. Oh, and Billy's mad again because Billy still thinks Swag Kelly is like a number one quarterback.
He is the best quarterback of the 2017 draft, 2018 draft. Yeah, that was a terrible take by you.
Remember you said that? I loved – he was so cool. Yeah.
Okay. Good job talking to the mic.
All right, still alive person of the year. This is a big one.
We have some good nominees this year. The first nominee is Willie Mays, who Hank just didn't even realize he was still alive.
I think I probably have some part in that because I keep tweeting out that Barry Bonds smiling next to what looks like a dead Willie Mays. So that kind of confuses people.
But Willie Mays is still alive. 89 years old.
Still alive. Some say the best baseball player of all time.
Still alive. This is why we need to get Barry Bonds in the Hall of Fame because the vast, vast majority of Willie Mays' public appearance over the past 10, 15 years have been at Barry Bonds' milestones where he's sitting in the front row dapping up Barry Bonds.
If Barry Bonds gets in the Hall of Fame, Willie Mays is either going to induct him or he's going to be front row supporting Barry Bonds. There he is.
And then just make it a spotlight of Willie Mays' career. You get a double dip.
Yep. Kim Jong-un, unfortunately still alive.
Felt like he might be dead for a little bit there, but turns out still alive. He was pronounced dead.
Yeah, he was dead, and then he's still alive. He was speculated being dead.
Yes. But I think they were saying that he took a train and went to go live in a harem with like 62 prostitutes he did the little morrow he ate a bunch of horny goat weed and drove out to the bunny ranch and then finally tommy lasorda who is still alive our friend tommy lasorda he's turned 92 93 or 94 this year we don't know uh he doesn't know but hank you have a cameo for us a presenter for still alive person of the year hey guys it's me butterbean heard y'all talking about me on the show the other day happy to announce that the 2020 techie award still alive person of the year is me wow what an honor tell that weekend turning here is Billy.
I want a piece of him. Jake, you have a great day, my friend.
Good job, Butterbean, just giving yourself the award, but you weren't nominated. So let's go to another guy who's still alive who gives us the real winner.
Hey, folks. Iwe hall of famer hacksaw jim duggan from the golden age of wrestling and i'm here to present the takey for the still alive person of the year and the winner is tommy las.
He is very much alive.

How about a ho, everybody?

Ho!

For Tommy Lasorda, tough guy.

I love it.

When you do the still alive person of the year,

all you got to do is just search wrestlers on cameo.

It's like, oh, he's still alive?

Did he have his two by four with him?

Yes, of course.

In that cameo?

Duh.

I love it.

Duh.

All right.

Can I do a verbal meme? Yeah, go okay okay sean oakman at the coin flip um butter bean i'm the still alive person of the year okay okay um wait which worst meme of the year goes to wait okay I don't understand it. Yeah, but Sean Oakman.
Yeah. What does Sean Oakman say? Sean Oakman is big, tough guy.
Yeah, but what is he? He's jacked. No, but what does it say on him? It says Butterbean.
Okay. So he's strong.
And then where does it say still alive person of the year? Say, okay, you can have it, Butterbean, because he's so big and tough. So it's a cartoon strip? No.
Or a meme? It's a meme. It's got multiple panels.
I'm looking at Sean Oakman. It says Butterbean on Sean Oakman.
What next? How do I understand? So I'm just like, damn. It's not even a live action meme.
It's a meme that you have to read. No, it's not a live action meme.
It's like multiple pages. Okay, Billy.
All right, Baylor. Billy, verbal meme.
Sean Oakman, I have $5. Baylor, that's perfect.
Sean Oakman. Okay.
Right, but that's... So that says Butterbeam.
Hey, oh, no, no, this is Hank, the winner of the year's time of disorder. Butterbeam.
No, it's me. All right, Billy, I'm going to stop you.
Okay, that's perfect. Okay, here's a verbal meme.
It's Derek Henry and Mark Ingram at the coin toss. Derek Henry says normal Sean Oakman memes.
And then Mark Ingram says Billy Football is Sean Oakman memes. No! Yes.
That is. Next up, we have the preemptive take.
Your liberalism is cloudy and memeing. Iophiles Okay Wow okay Thanks Billy Projecting a little bit there That's kind of weird Happy you disavowed The preemptive take It just occurred to me that somewhere in Billy Football's brain A liberal is a pedophile It's the same like the Venn diagram Is a pancake inside your brain.
The preemptive take is cut all of that. We need to put the settings so it's YouTube for kids for Billy's YouTube.
Because clearly he's watching too much shit on there. The preemptive take of the year award for 2021.
I'm just going to assume that Mike Gundy will be involved in the mix in 2021. Antonio Brown will definitely get back in there.
We haven't heard from him in like, I don't know, six months in off the field stuff. So I'm assuming that he will have some sort of controversial tweet or Instagram post.
But the preemptive take of the year award for 2021 goes to Dan Dockich, recurring guest of the show for eventually he's going to say that MJ's better than LeBron because LeBron's

never been divorced. And so

he's not committed enough to the game and to

his craft. I like that.
Yeah, so we actually

asked Dan to present this award, and he

said, no, thank you. Oh, okay.

He's a proud man. He wants to come

to that take organically.

Exactly. I think he also doesn't want

to leave a paper trail showing that he knows about that take before he actually says it. Yes, true.
Smart man, Dan. Very smart man.
Good friend of the program. Love Dan Dockage.
I miss getting mad about Dan Dockage talking about Big Ten basketball. Yeah, I agree with you.
There's all sorts of stuff out there. We love to complain about sports and about bad sports takes, but they're so fun.
Right. They're so fun.
So I hope that guys like Dan, there should always be a place on local sports talk radio for Dan Dockish. Yes.
All right. Next up, we have worst prediction of the year.
Now, this one is a deep, deep class. So the nominees are Clay Travis for talking about the coronavirus.
He said there will be way less than the yearly flu in the U.S. It's less contagious and said China has more than triple our population.
Looks to have kept it around 3,000 deaths. And that's with an incredibly slow start to treatment.
And he'd be surprised if we get into the thousands, honestly. So predicting that we will into the thousands where are we at now i think it's like 120 000 okay so he said uh won't get into thousands for coronavirus deaths uh the next nominee is also clay travis uh he said uh after more deaths rolled in he said fewer people would die than in an average year from the flu.
That appears likely to be true. And he said that.
And there's 37,000 people a year die from the flu. So that also was wrong.
Where are we at now with deaths? 120,000-ish. Okay.
That's more. He said, oh, this was just a double down uh it will it get as bad as china 3 000 people died in china a country with three times our population if we get as bad as china a thousand people will die of coronavirus here that also ended up uh not being true he also said uh our next nominee is clay travis for in mid-march said coronavirus infections are likely to peak next week.

That was mid-March in March.

Yep.

Uh,

that did not happen.

That did not happen.

Um,

and then our final nominee is,

uh,

clay Travis,

who,

uh,

has said that,

uh,

he,

he'd be surprised if we got over 60,000 deaths, uh, for the coronavirus, and then we have this under control. So he quote tweeted something in mid-April and said, good thread to read here from a month ago.
His forecaster now for 60K deaths at most, parentheses, and that's likely too high. Someone replied, I still don't think we break 40 000 and he replied i think

you're likely correct so well to be fair to clay he's just perpetually surprised yes he's not saying it's not gonna happen he's just i'm gonna be shocked if it gets over 60 000 and uh i guess he's just like always he's just like shocked by stuff yes surprised nice moving target thousand a couple thousand 37,000 60,000. Yeah, we're doubled that, but that's okay.
So let's go to our cameo. We have someone who's going to present this for the takey of worst prediction of the year.
I'm Curt Schilling, and I'm here to present the takey for the worst prediction of the year, or the best if you're woke. and the winner is clay travis for saying i'd be surprised if we get into the thousands when talking about total coronavirus deaths in the u.s however turns out he's actually right because there's 20 times more people that have been infected than not so to all the others they can suck it okay congrats to clay travis good job clay travis with a huge one there he He won it for predicting there's going to be uh no more than about a thousand deaths okay so it's the first one the first one felt like it was right yeah that's yeah that's probably the best of those takes is he you think he's going to continue going on just like every 30 000 people he'll be like i'd be shocked if it gets 30 000 more right i'd be really i kind of i kind of like that just stick with Just stick with it.
Eventually, you'll be right. Yeah.
It's actually... It doesn't matter if you're right first.
It matters if you're right last. Right.
And I do the same thing, only I do it with sporting events that don't actually kill hundreds of thousands of people. I make very bad predictions, and I keep doubling down on my predictions.
But, I mean, whatever. I'd be shocked if Mitch Trubisky didn't make the Pro Bowl this year.
Yeah, 120,000 deaths, whatever. I mean, that's no one.
Next up, we have the retirement of the year. Big year for retirements.
It comes down to three people. This year, the nominees are Conor McGregor for all his retirements this year.
So it encompasses at least two, probably three retirements this year. Rob Gronkowski for retiring last year.
And then the third nominee. And then telling all of us at every turn that he was not going to play football again.
It was a great retirement. His entire retirement was spent thinking about playing football and telling people he wasn't thinking about playing football.
So wait, let's just go back to this one sec. Is Gronk basically saying that he just didn't want to play for the Patriots anymore? I think so.
Actually, you know what? I go back and forth because he might be doing that. And his body was banged up.
There's also a chance that Rob Gronkowski is still retired right now. He just happens to play football occasionally.
In his brain, he might be like, yeah, I retired. I don't do that anymore.
I wonder if Tom Brady had stayed with the Patriots. Gronk be back.
I actually think maybe there's a chance that would have happened,

that he was going to take a year off no matter what.

I doubt it.

Billy, I would love to hear what you have to say.

No, honestly, I think that the workload the Patriots wanted him to do

was higher than something that Tampa's going to have him do.

Got it.

Okay, there we go.

I think that's fair.

The thing about it, Brady's like, you don't have to block Terrell Suggs anymore.

You can be wiry and go outside. 100 years old.
Win column for Billy. There we go.
That's a win, Billy. Good comment.
Sit back. Sit back.
Enjoy the win. Enjoy the win.
If you keep talking, you're going to end up being a loss. You'll talk your way out of it.
Enjoy that win. I think you're right, though.
I think that if Tom Brady had stuck around in New England, Rob Gronkowski would probably still be retired. Yes.
And then the third nominee is Leroy the dog. Leroy retiring after nailing the Rob Gronkowski shoot.
Yes. Big year for Leroy.
So the winner of retirement of the year goes to Conor McGregor for his multiple retirements. Major upset.
Yeah. Conor.
Major upset. Way to go, Conor.
Also, I mean, Leroy might come back at some point. He's leaving that door open.
Conor McGregor definitely retired for life. Oh, absolutely not.
No chance he's coming back. Never fighting again.
Absolutely not. No chance.
I will inject myself with the coronavirus if Conor McGregor comes back and fights. All right, let's go to – actually, let's do one more ad real quick, and then we have four awards left.
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Okay, let's go to our next takey. Like I said, we have four left.
The next one we have is 19-year-old of the year. You may remember this famous winners in the past.
Mbappe. Who else won? Jason Tatum.
Did he win? Mbappe won a couple times, I think. Mbappe won multiple years.
Pulisic might have won one. So 19-year-old of the year.
The nominees are Addison Rae for his work in TikTok. That's a girl.
For her work in TikTok, Lil Pump for his work in TikTok.

He's a rapper.

Rapper.

Yeah, so I said his.

He's a TikTok rapper.

Yep.

Just a rapper.

Maverick Baker, also a TikToker.

I'm just not going to use pronouns here.

Blake Gray, TikTok.

COVID-19, also known as the coronavirus

lovely peaches

tick tock

and Hunter Roland

for

his work in

tick tock

Hunter would be a wild name for a girl

I think it kind of works

I feel like Billy is going to name his daughter Hunter

at some point

do we have someone who is going to tell us who won

sure do

hey guys it's me Patrick Mahomes

Thank you. works i feel like billy is gonna name his daughter at some point yeah all right do we have uh uh someone who is gonna tell us who won sure do hey guys it's me patrick mahomes proud to announce the 2020 takey winner for a 19 year old congratulations to cover 19 what is the 19 for anyways oh well congratulations covered okay the novel coronavirus love it thanks patrick now I can officially respect the virus because it's won something.
Yes. It took a while to get there, but now I will accept that.
Wait, I can pretend I'm like a puppet on Cameo and get paid? No, that was Patrick Mahomes. That was Patrick Mahomes.
What do you mean pretend you're a puppet? What do you mean pretend you're a puppet? I thought that was Patrick Mahomes. Did you not hear him say, hey guys, it's Patrick Mahomes? Very disrespectful, Billy.
Yes. The 20th takey of 2020.
This is a big one. This is one that really blew my mind when I was looking at the nominees.
This is the award for, holy shit, that show came out this year of the year. Stackfield.
We've got Tiger King. That came out this year of the year stack field we've got tiger king whoo holy shit out this tiger king came out this year shit love is blind remember that remember love is blind that came out this year yeah don't fuck with cats that came out this year that came out this year fuck and the xfl the xfl came out the xfl was this year it was all in 2020 so crazy a lot of stuff's happened this year the winner of the holy shit that show came out this year of the year award is hey it's james garrettson the jet ski king from tiger king proud to announce that takey winner of the holy shit that show actually happened this year is the xfl congratulations vince and better look next time brother p.s you should have signed pft dumbo wow okay thank you what's his name the the lemur guy from tiger king yes yes i actually have a painting that's on the way remember chilling with ch wow that came out that was just holy that came out this year she made a painting for our studio that we will put up and everyone be like who's that fat guy on the jet ski and be like remember that show everyone was obsessed with for like two weeks that came out this year that's amazing okay well thank you for the endorsement that means a lot yes uh i know vince McMahon is probably a big fan of Tiger King, too, so hopefully he saw that and Vince signed me.
I've heard rumors that Vince is trying to personally buy the XFL out of bankruptcy. Wow.
So, like, before it was a shell company that owned the XFL. Nice.
So then he had that declared bankruptcy. I'm hearing he's trying to buy it himself.
Nice. By the way, Jake, you should be careful because if that guy has any of your information now, he's probably already used you for some plot to snitch to the government.
Okay, so he has my... Alright, well that's bad.
Alright. We have the second to last.
We have two left, so let's do it. The one that probably everyone's looking forward to the most, the Blake of the Year, which has been decided.
Let's kick it to Blake of the Year. All right, it's that time of the year.
It is Blake of the Year. We're going to decide who the number one Blake in the world is as a refresher course.

First year, Blake Bortles won.

Second year, it was just Blake Bortles versus Blake Griffin.

Second year, Blake Griffin won.

Blake Kepka was in the competition.

Now, Blake Griffin picked up the phone in 2.8 seconds.

It was fast.

2.8.

Many say it will never be broken.

Many say it will never be broken, although I do think—

A quarter patino.

Thank you. picked up the phone in 2.8 seconds it was 2.8 many say it will never be broken many say will never be broken although i do think a quarter patino i think he is so locked in that we might see some uh we might look back at this blake of the year competition and be like holy shit blake griffin went to places we never thought a blake could go or we might look back and say is blake griffin bad for blakes because he's so good and the dynasty is too strong.
Yesterday, we got some news on the Blake front. Blake Koepka's caddy was diagnosed, unfortunately, with COVID-19.
Had to withdraw from the fifth major, the Travelers. And you have to ask, is his mind going to be elsewhere? Or is it a Blake of Destiny situation where it feels like, you know, let's win one for the caddy?

Right, right.

So it's going to, so how we're going to do is we're going to call each one.

We're going to time it and then we will, I guess we'll call them back and let them know who ended up winning.

We're going to go reverse order of how they finished last year.

So we're going to start with Blake Bortles.

PFT is going to time it.

We're going to call.

It's just a pickup. The first sound.
Are you ready? you ready is everyone ready I'm ready just say when to hit start and I got it alright here we go okay alright Blake Bortles is coming up right now let me make sure I don't get my phone number in here. All right.
Ready, set, go.

Oh, 575.

575 for Blake Bortles.

Holy shit, that was quick.

Very impressive.

All right, 575.

We'll call you back.

We'll let you know.

All right. Okay.
Good performance from Blake Bortles this year. Wow.
Coming out of the gate strong. Good performance from Blake Bortles this year.
Damn. That was impressive.
That also tells me that if there's an NFL GM out there that wants to give him a call, he's sitting by the phone. He was ready to go.
He was ready to go. All right.
So now we're going to go Brooks Koepka. 5-7-5.
5-7-5. And you know what know what it would have been faster there was like a little bit of a lag after you hit dial but it's gonna be the same for everybody i'm gonna tell you go when i hit the button all right so brooks kapka okay brooks kapka go Oh, 5.5.

Oh, shit.

Blake Koepka under the wire. Wow.
Impressive, Brooks. Last year, I've improved.
I've been trained. Okay.
Well, you've beaten Blake Bortles. We're going to call you back.
Blake Griffin is still up. Oh, all right.
Can't wait. Okay.
All right. We're going to call you back.
All right. Wow.
This has become an incredible performance. Neck and neck right now.
Can Blake Griffin do it? I don't – I think Kepka's got it. 5.5 is a tough number.
The hardest thing to do in sports is to repeat as champions. It's going to be very hard.
You don't have a mic in front of you. Billy, talk into the mic that doesn't exist.
You do not have a mic in front of you. Talk into Hank's mic.
Oh, wow, there's Erica over on our TV. You don't have a mic in front of you.
That's weird. You do not have a mic.
Okay, here we go, Blake Griffin. Wait, my phone just went to dim.
Okay. Wait, fuck.
I hit the middle. Go.
Oh, 3.3

Holy shit

You did it again

Blake

Congratulations

Blake to Blake champion

You did it again

You're a transcendent talent

It was a tough competition though

Do you want to know the finals?

I need to know the times

So this year Bortles had 5.75

Kepka had 5.5

Thank you. It was a tough competition, though.
Do you want to know the finals? I need to know the times. So this year, Bortles had 5.75.
Kepka had 5.5. And you beat them both by 1.2 seconds.
Wow. Wow.
Yes. We actually were talking beforehand, and we said the storylines that were going into this Blake of the Year was,

will we look back and say that this was the GOAT status for Blake Griffin?

Will we look back, PFT was saying, and say, is Blake Griffin bad for Blakes?

Is it not fair anymore, do you think?

You know, I'm not even ready to answer those questions right now because I put in the time.

I'm also working on a Last Dance Blake of the Year documentary, as we speak. And, you know, the footage will show that I put the time in and the footage will show that I care about this.
And, you know, if you can't accept that, then it's fine.

You're not a real Blake of the Year fan.

I think all the talk that we've had, we've had Bortles and Kepka on recently and discussed the Blake of the Year with him,

I guess you could say Blake Griffin took it personally.

I took that personally.

Every time you guys post a highlight of Brooks on the golf course,

posted his mustache, compared it to Big Cat's.

I take that personal.

I see it all.

I don't comment all the time, but I see it all,

and I take it personal.

It's impressive.

I mean, you're clearly very emotional.

I can hear it in your voice.

Congratulations.

The title is yours for another year.

And, I mean, I don't know what else to say. There are no words right now.
We're truly in the presence of greatness. Thank you, guys.
And, you know, if I can real quick, I just want to address the fans. Unbelievable support over this past year.
But we brought another Blake of the Year home. So you see me on the streets, yell, celebrate together.

Because this one's for everybody.

Wow.

He's sharing this one with the fans.

What a guy.

Blake, one last question.

Are you going to take some time to celebrate this?

Or are you thinking already, hey, let's move on.

It's next year.

You're only as good as your next week.

You know what?

The way I see it, I have the rest of the day to celebrate.

But then it's back to training.

Love it. Love it.
All right. Thank you, Blake.
Congrats again. What a job.
All right. Thanks.
All right. See ya.
All right. Now the hard part of our job.
We should, we should just make Billy do it. Now the hard part of our job.
Billy, do you want to break the news to him? Yeah, you want to break the news to him? All right. I don't want to, I don't want to be mean to him.
All right. So come sit in my seat.
I don't have to heart for it. And just tell him I'm going to call Brooks first.
By the way, Brooks, we were tipped off that if you go to Blakeoftheyear.com, it redirects to BrooksKepka.com. BrooksKepka actually purchased the domain name for Blakeoftheyear.com and redirected it to his own website.
Cocky move. You have to wonder, is that bulletin board materialin board material? It really feels like that.
All right. So Billy, all you're going to say is, Hey, Hey Brooks or Hey Blake PFT and big cat had to step away, but they wanted me to tell you that you finished second in Blake of the year to Blake Griffin.
I can't remember all that in the mic. I can't remember that.
I can't remember all that. In the mic.
I can't remember all that. Just be sure with them.
Pretend you're cutting them from a team, from a roster, okay? I've actually been rejected from a lot of jobs. Talking to that, Mike.
Billy, say this is the toughest part of any coach's job. Yeah.
Use this stuff like, you know, you left your heart out there, and if anyone else calls and asks about a Blake, we'll for sure pass along your tape. It's a numbers game right now.
Okay. And unfortunately, you've got to make some tough decisions.
We're not going to talk. This is so nerve.
But also, Billy, you have to tell them that they can't say anything until July 6th after the episode comes out, okay? All right, here we go. Here's Brooks.
Hi, Brooks. Brooks Kwepka.
Mike. Hi, Mr.
Kwepka. Yeah.
Hi, this is Billy here. I'd just like to report that you had a strong showing in the Blake of the Year, but unfortunately you were beat by Blake Griffin by quite a substantial margin.
But you beat Bortles by a very close margin. I'd like to thank you for participating in Blake of the Year.
PFT and Big Cat had to step away and left me with the responsibility of calling you. I hope you have a good rest of your day.

Please don't report on this until July 6th

when the episode is airing.

Thank you for your time.

It's bullshit.

Brooks, is there any...

Better luck next year, Brooks.

Do you have any regrets on purchasing that website? Do you feel like maybe you celebrated before you reached the end zone there a little bit? No. At the end of the day, listen, we all know who it is.
That's why Blakeoftheyear.com. Just check it out.
I just, it's, so the final tally was Blake Griffin was 3.3 seconds. You were 5.5.
Blake Bortles was 5.75. Blake Griffin actually was slower than he was last year, but he still was able to beat.
So that's the bar. I'm trying to recount.
We can go back and check the tape and get VAR on this. Yeah, I don't see anything changing.
I mean, he beat you by a pretty substantial margin there. I better start training harder.
Yeah. All right.
Oh, by the way, do you have coronavirus? No, I don't have corona. My caddy does.
Okay. Okay.
All right. Good.
But you do, do you not? Yeah. I don't have the rona.
Yeah. Not yet, anyways.
Some people were saying that you made that story up so that you could be home for Blake of the Year. I mean, I would not have had – I would actually be playing golf right now.
So, you know what? It would have been a great story if I won. Yeah.
It would have just showed a lot of heart. Shit.
Shit. Are you allowed to have cell phones on the PGA Tour? I mean, listen, there's five majors.
Blake of the Year is one of them. Yeah.
And Travelers is definitely one of them. Where would you rank the Travelers in terms of all-time golf tournaments? It's definitely up there.
It's pretty close. Yeah, it's the sixth major behind Blake of the Year.
Behind Blake of the Year, absolutely. All right, well, be well.
It sucks. Yeah.
I'm 0 for 2. This is actually really starting to piss me off.
Yeah. Piss me off.
I think next year we're going to actually change the competition. So we'll figure out something that's different than just the phone calls.
We were actually going to do that this year, but obviously there's a pandemic. Next year maybe we'll have a mano-a-mano situation.
I like that. I can take them talk to you later good luck brooks all right all right now the hardest one our our first blake you never forget your first blake it never gets any easier either billy if you physically cannot talk into this mic i'm going to punch punch you.
I'm going to punch the mic into your mouth.

I don't know how it's possible.

He literally is sitting right here, and I have to push his face closer to the mic because he just drifts.

Well, how do I talk into the phone?

You're doing it.

You don't.

He don't.

Just talk.

Your voice will carry you into the microphone of the phone, Billy.

All right.

Here we go.

Blake Bortles. Hello? Hi, Mr.
Bortles. Yeah, is this Billy? Hi, this is Billy with Part of My Take.
I would like to regretfully inform you that you did not win Blake of the Year. Oh, fuck you! I'm very sorry to be the bearer of bad news.
PFT and Big Cat were not able to muster up the strength to tell this to you. You had a very good showing compared to last year, but it was not enough to beat Brooks and Blake.
I gave it third.

By a margin of .25 seconds,

I would suggest you maybe change your cell phone carrier

to speed up your answering.

I'd be very willing to help research ways for you to get a faster answering.

I hope you're having a good day, and please do not on the results until july 6th when this airs uh thank you so much for your time and have a good one and good luck thanks billy have fun blake blake sorry man sorry dude it was a very strong performance i'm shocked that that both brooks and blake griffin were able to pick up faster because you set a very high bar. You have nothing to be ashamed of this year.
God, and I'm still low man on the podium. Yeah, but we were just saying before we called you, like, listen, you're still our first Blake, and you never forget your first.
Hey, that is true. I'll never forget it i appreciate that yeah so um all right so yeah

we're gonna release this episode july 6th so uh you're just gonna have to stew with this internally

for a while we don't want to end up screwing up any of the betting markets yeah yeah so that's

tough i appreciate you letting me know billy he's the bearer bad news he's the get your playbook guy

so turk um all right man we'll talk to you later. See you guys.
All right, later. Bye, Blake.
And there you have it. That was tough to hear.
And there you have it. Oh, fuck you.
That was great. What? No, no, no.
That was Blake's. Oh, fuck you.
Yeah, fuck you, Billy. Stunning.
Unbelievable. Blake Griffin is your Blake of the Year.
Back-to-back champion. What a performance.
I don't know what we're going to do next year, but we are going to get everyone together. We have to.
We've talked about the trophy for Blake of the Year just being Vanny Woodhead. That would be nice.
Just dropping it off. Just like driving it to Blake's house.
Having to have to pay us. And just like forcing the van on them.
And then leaving. Yeah, right.
But we got it next year. We're going to have to figure out some kind of competition where all the Blakes can get involved.
Maybe it's, I don't know what we can do. Stool streams.
Maybe, yeah, we'll do something. We'll do something.
But this was another great performance by Blake Griffin. Blake Bortles, still our first Blake.
You never forget your first. And Brooks Kepa is trying hard.
Blake tried really hard. Yeah, they all tried really hard.
I got to say, you can't even compare this Blake of the Year award competition to the one that happened two years ago. Right.
The advancements in Blake's that have taken place recently, it's a different league. Right.
Right. Maybe some say juiced.

We'll see.

Are the Blakes juiced?

Yeah.

Are the Blakes juiced?

Are the phones juiced right now?

What's up, Bill?

You have the quizzical look.

Do I have to drive Vanny to Cali?

No.

Maybe.

No.

Not right now, though.

There's 0% chance you'd survive that trip.

The last award, if you weren't listening for the Blake of the Year Award,

you probably stuck around just for this one.

It is the Podcast Listeners of the Year Award.

It's a very special award from Part of My Take.

The award-winning listeners are so named because they have had a dynasty going.

But there are tons of new podcasts this year, tons of very successful podcasts, whether it's The Daddy Gang the come boys rob low's lomo sexuals there's just so many podcasts out there with so many dedicated followings uh it's going to be tough to win you know like the hardest thing to do in sports besides hitting a baseball is winning a podcast toward back-to-back yes absolutely. The winners of the podcast listeners of the year for 2020 are...
Hi, this is Tommy Lasorda. And I'm here to present the podcast listeners of the year award.
And the winner is, pardon my take, congratulations, AWLS, won five straight championships. That was Tommy's phone.
So congratulations, AWLS. That's what you guys are called now.
You guys have stuck with us, time of no sports. Can the S be a five yeah jared jeter respect we'll make that so no we do appreciate it we love doing this we love the community that we've created uh you guys are couldn't do it without you because otherwise we're just talking to no one we could it would just suck yeah it would suck and it's honestly it's incredible because there's uh a lot of podcasts that are right now.
We've seen our numbers stay exactly or go up during this pandemic, which is a testament to all you listeners. I think the industry standards is down like 20%.
We haven't suffered that. So you guys much deserved.
I do love you guys. There's a reason that I say it at the end of every episode.
And it's not just because I was trying to find a signature sign-off. I actually do love you guys.
Yeah, so much, much deserved. You guys deserve it.
You guys are the best listeners in the world. We appreciate everything you do.
We appreciate the interactions. And hopefully, hopefully, once all this is done, we can get back out on the road and see some of you guys.
So with that, anything else, Billy, do you love them?

I love them.

I just want to,

even though they hate you.

Thank you for putting up with me.

Okay.

That's a good point.

You guys,

you guys have really stepped it up this year by just tolerating Billy football.

Yeah.

We've thrown some curve balls at you,

thrown some high heat at your chin with Billy football,

but hopefully sports will be back sooner than later.

And thank you again for everyone for listening. And we'll see you on Love you guys Love you too Love you Love you Love you guys Love you guys Liberals aren't pedophiles Say it Hank Love you guys Love you guys Love you guys Love you guys Stop saying the pedophile thing Yeah, love you guys Love you guys It's distracting Love you guys You just keep saying it What did you even say? I don't get canceled Billy, what if there was a 12-year-old kid that was listening

and you just told him that you loved him?

Uh-oh. You are Lib Cup of the Year.

So it makes sense.

Love you guys. Thank you.
Today is another day to find you shine away

I'll come for your love of me Thank you. I'm slowly learning the fight is okay Say after me