Dallas Braden, Long Gone Summer, Mt Flushmore Of Things Chicks Dig In Honor Of The Long Ball

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Speaker 1 On today's part of my take, we review the long gone summer, the documentary Mark McGuire and

Speaker 1 like a little piece of Sammy Sosa. And then they blamed all the steroids on Barry Bonds.

Speaker 1 We have Dallas Braden to talk about what's going on in baseball right now,

Speaker 1 the steroid era, or the end of the steroid era when he was a rookie in baseball. We have who's back of the week and a great, great, great Mount Flushmore.

Speaker 1 It is Monday, who knows what day it is anymore.

Speaker 1 Oh, also, we're gonna talk a little Kyrie Irving because that is an interesting story that I don't know where it's gonna end up, but before we do all that, when cool creamy ranch meets tangy, bold buffalo, the whole is greater than the sum of its sauce.

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Speaker 1 presented by Barry Welcome to part of my take presented by the Cash App. Go download it right now.
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Speaker 1 today is monday june 15th and the long gone summer

Speaker 1 stunk

Speaker 1 it was impressive in the fact that it was a two-hour long documentary that taught me absolutely nothing new it was that's i i've never sat down and watched what should be like a detailed look yes at an era yes where they there were no new facts okay so it was a youtube compilation uh with some radio calls which that is nostalgia.

Speaker 1 Great. Like, there was a couple of moments, like, oh, that's cool.

Speaker 1 Any documentary that gives us a glimpse of 90s fashion, also love.

Speaker 1 But other than that, it was the Mark McGuire documentary with a small part supporting role of Sammy Sosa, which was weird because Sammy was equally as electric.

Speaker 1 Obviously, he didn't get the, you know, the home run king. He won the MVP that year.

Speaker 1 I'm a little biased. 20 home runs in fucking June.
They just passed over that. But it was, I actually actually think it was kind of like, you know,

Speaker 1 Trey, let me go Trey Wingo for a second. Anchorman, when he hits the conch shell and News Team Assemble.

Speaker 1 They did that for this documentary. It was just white, old sports writers assemble.
And it was just a fucking who's who. If you are

Speaker 1 an old, like 60-plus white sports writer and you weren't in this documentary, fucking retire, dude. You fucking are done.
Rick Riley is so pissed off right now watching this.

Speaker 1 Costas Costas and George Will are like the greatest.

Speaker 1 That is a Jordan and Pippin of white old guy sports writers and Costas almost crying about steroids.

Speaker 5 Bob Costas definitely cold called his way into that documentary. He found out that there was a documentary that would be premiering on ESPN that was going to be heavily centered around St.

Speaker 5 Louis Cardinals baseball. And that was like the bat signal for Bob.
It was a tiny, like a five-foot-two bat symbol that shot up into the sky. And Bob was like, I must be there.
It was crazy.

Speaker 3 I'm just thinking now, how could they have all those broadcasters not have Joe Buck? Like, he was in the documentary.

Speaker 1 Yeah, his daddy was crying.

Speaker 1 He was there. He was, yeah.
I blame Joe Buck for not uncomfortable. Although he probably knew he was like, this documentary is trash.

Speaker 3 I'm not trying to be one of these scrubs in this documentary.

Speaker 5 Joe Buck was complacent interviewing both Sammy and Mark McGuire and didn't ask him about steroids. For shame, Joe Buck.

Speaker 1 It is crazy, though, that that was.

Speaker 1 I want to watch a documentary about the steroid era of baseball. It's a fascinating point in time.
The summer of 98 saved baseball. It truly did.
I know that that sounds crazy, but it really did

Speaker 1 capture the attention of a nation. Think about this: the fucking Cubs played 163 games that year.
They got in with the extra game and got swept by the Braves. The Cardinals were in third place.

Speaker 1 Like, this story swept up the country, and you're talking about a third-place team. It was the biggest story, and it was so much fun to watch.
And then I watched this documentary.

Speaker 1 Maybe it's because it's the nostalgia factor. Well, everything we know,

Speaker 1 the summer of 98 and the whole and the the steroid baseball era as like in totality, which I'll never like point a finger and be like, man, those guys, you know, I can't believe they did that because everyone was doing it one.

Speaker 1 You can't tell me that Barry Bonds is in a fucking Hall of Famer or Sammy Silver is in a fucking Hall of Famer or Roger Cole. Like, all these guys should be in the Hall of Fame.

Speaker 1 But it does change it a little bit just because...

Speaker 1 You look back and you're like, wow, those numbers, like, everyone was hitting. I was going through them, and the fact that Griffey hit 56 that year, Greg Vaughn hit 50,

Speaker 1 and then in the next year,

Speaker 1 they went 65 and 63.

Speaker 1 And then the next year, or sorry, two years later, Bonds hit 73, and Sosa hit 64.

Speaker 5 Which was the Brady Anderson year? That to me will always be the funniest example of it. It was the year two.

Speaker 5 Yeah, Brady Anderson was in there with the home runs from the leadoff spot, the sideburns, the Belrose Place sideburns.

Speaker 1 But it wasn't just, when I say it wasn't just like it was everyone, I truly mean it was everyone. So I went back and looked.
There were nine guys in 1998 who had over 45 home runs.

Speaker 1 There were nine guys in 2001 who had over 45 home runs.

Speaker 1 Since like the last, in the last like 10 years, it's basically been one to three guys floating, sometimes zero guys. Fucking Miguel Cabrera won the home run title in 2012 with 44 home runs.

Speaker 5 Those used to be monster numbers back in the day.

Speaker 1 Right. And it's crazy.

Speaker 5 It was very funny how they did pin it. They didn't mention steroids until Barry Bonds came along and broke Maguire's record.
And then they're like, wait, stop being.

Speaker 1 It's so dirty how they did that. We were like, steroids.
And then here comes Barry Bonds.

Speaker 5 I say let them all into the Hall of Fame. Let them all in because you can't take back the Dingers.
Yes. The Dingers were incredible.

Speaker 5 Barry Bonds was so good that year that he was smashing all those home runs.

Speaker 5 They walked him, I think, twice with the bases loaded that year. That's how good he was.

Speaker 5 Do you know how fucking insanely talented you have to be and scary of a hitter you have to be to just go ahead and be like, hey, we'll give you one run because you're going to hit a home run if we serve you immediately.

Speaker 1 it's crazy we should do maybe we'll do a barry bonds uh numbers deep dive this week to show respect after they did them so dirty and this was

Speaker 1 like

Speaker 1 i'm just frustrated that should have been a great documentary it really should have it should have been uh i

Speaker 1 they spent the last fucking 15 minutes talking about steroids that's it they swept it on the rug so fast it was crazy it was like oh here's this feel-good stuff that was a documentary that if we didn't know they had done steroids it would have played because we've been like whoa what the ending but we're watching the whole first hour and 45 minutes being like yeah

Speaker 5 and well you know what it was the entire documentary was like a microcosm of what happened in 98 all the way until 2010 where the andro they brought up andro kind of partway through and they mentioned it and they're like maguire was caught with this bottle and it's like the andro in the movie was the andro in that season.

Speaker 5 Yes. Like they threw you off the trail for a second.
They're like, yeah, there were allegations that he was.

Speaker 1 Yeah, back to the dingers.

Speaker 5 And then let's get back to the dingers. And then at the very end, after you've already appreciated them, we'll talk about the juice.

Speaker 5 The best part in this documentary, as far as my money goes, was just seeing King Griffey Jr. swing the bat.
That was by that was so sexy to watch. Like when you were a kid and King Griffey Jr.

Speaker 5 was in his prime, you would go take batting practice and you turn your hat backwards and your swing would instantly be as good as King Griffey Jr.'s.

Speaker 1 The goat swing. I just,

Speaker 1 yeah, I'm just frustrated with the whole documentary because it could have been great.

Speaker 3 How many balls?

Speaker 1 How many on the balls? One and a half. Maybe I'm just frustrated because he's like, Sammy wasn't in the documentary.
And Sammy is electric. Like, when he's like, yeah, God picked Sammy.

Speaker 1 Ken Griffey Jr.

Speaker 3 should have been in the documentary.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Ken Griffey Jr. But like let Sammy talk.

Speaker 5 Well, also,

Speaker 5 I knew Hank wasn't going to like it because it wasn't heavily centered around a Red Sox player.

Speaker 3 That's not true at all. I'm a huge fan of documentaries.
I love, especially. ESPN documentaries.
I have watched them all and I enjoy good ones. That was not a good one.

Speaker 5 If it was just a compilation of David Ortiz's big postseason hits, which this was for a while. This was just a computer.

Speaker 1 I mean, they made that one.

Speaker 3 They made that one, and it's a great one.

Speaker 1 It was a great one.

Speaker 1 It just didn't have any like... Just ask them, like, hey,

Speaker 1 you were fucking juicing. Tell us what it was like.
Tell us, like, I would love a documentary where they said, hey,

Speaker 1 Mark McGuire, you hit a bunch of home runs in Oakland. Presumably, you weren't juicing yet.
What did it do for you

Speaker 1 when you started... Well, he was playing

Speaker 5 when he met Jose Conseco? They started juicing. But he did 30 home runs.

Speaker 5 They were injecting each other in the ass with steroids in the open in the locker room.

Speaker 3 Bush even had some of his teammates talk about the perspective of watching him take steroids in the locker room every day.

Speaker 3 There was no, like you said, PFT, there was no new information

Speaker 1 even in that documentary.

Speaker 5 When King Caminidi wrote that thing or he went on the record in Sports Illustrated, he said, There are guys where you know that you're not allowed to slap him in the ass because it'll be too sore from the injection site.

Speaker 5 I'm sure that Mark McGuire was one of those guys.

Speaker 1 The only other thing I wrote down for this documentary was

Speaker 1 I forgot that the 62nd home run for Maguire,

Speaker 1 the fucking kid, Cuck Hall of Fame. I know that, like, you know, it's cool.
Like, he gave it back, gave the ball. He passed over a million dollars.
Yeah. A million dollars.

Speaker 1 And then I went and I Googled it.

Speaker 1 It's someone wrote a story 18 years later. This is like 2017 or whatever it may have been.

Speaker 1 I can't do math.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 he said that giving the ball back led to several opportunities, including a face-to-face with President Bill Clinton.

Speaker 5 That aged well. Well, at least it was.
Pedipile Island with Jeffrey Epstein. At least it was face-to-face.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that aged well. And he also received a red minivan from Chrysler.

Speaker 5 That's pretty sweet. Dude, dude, those Chrysler town and countries, I used to have one of those.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 5 the mistake was the red one. You should have got the wood grain paneling on the side.
Fuck, that's paper.

Speaker 1 That guy, though, he just like, I know it's the right thing to do. And it's the old, like, if you found five, you know, $50,000 on the ground, like, would you give it in? Like, I don't know, man.

Speaker 1 You had a fucking ball. Like, it's still going to probably go to Cooperstown.
You can sell it to Mark McGuire.

Speaker 1 Sell it to baseball.

Speaker 5 There's a lot of talk that summer about what are you going to do. Oh, imagine if you caught the 61st home run.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 And then somebody catches that and they're like, oh, shit, that's not going to be the most valuable one. The 62nd one where he actually breaks the record.
Now, that's the one that you can retire off.

Speaker 5 Right. Then.

Speaker 1 They get that ball out into left field and you can't retire on that one because the real valuable ball, in theory, would have been the last one that he hit or 73 by bonds or 73 by bonds so basically what we're finding out is like all of the get-rich quick schemes in the 90s which were uh trying to get like home run baseballs that would sell for a ton of money beanie babies beanie babies uh pets.com and mcdonald's monopoly were all a sham that sucks fuck

Speaker 5 our entire childhood was a lie yeah well i'm glad i didn't get any of those things then yeah i was one of the smart ones that didn't catch a valuable home run yes but yeah i just,

Speaker 1 I don't know. I'm just disappointed.
And it's rare that 30 for 30s miss. And

Speaker 1 I still love, like, I think they should change the name. There were moments of all.

Speaker 3 By the way, they've made like 130 for 30s.

Speaker 1 Dude, what was the name of that? Long Gone Summer? Long Gone Summer. What was the.

Speaker 5 Sounds like a shitty name.

Speaker 3 That was like the 97th 30 for 30.

Speaker 1 What was 30 years, 30 for the makers? And then Kid Rock makes it.

Speaker 5 We're going to make 73.

Speaker 5 He combines that with Freebird.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 What was the thought process behind splicing in modern day Wrigley

Speaker 1 into nostalgic shots? It was so bizarre. Like that, I don't understand who they were.
I didn't pick up on that when they were. They were like, there was a fucking kid in Chris Bryant jersey.

Speaker 1 They're like, but it wasn't, it wasn't like, oh, here's today.

Speaker 1 It was shot of Sammy in 98, shot of the bleachers today, shot of Sammy in 98.

Speaker 5 They were showing the shots of today as B-roll. It was in the dynamic from back then.
It's crazy. You know what I was really mad about?

Speaker 5 They didn't ask Sammy about his explanation because Sammy has never tested positive publicly with steroids, right?

Speaker 1 Never tested positive. His excuse.
And the cork was a show bat. Yep.

Speaker 5 There was a show bat that he used in batting practice only. When they were.

Speaker 1 You want to show or no?

Speaker 5 No, I do want to show. I want to see the dingers.

Speaker 5 I'm on the record as being pro-dinger. But they didn't show when he was asked about the mysterious weight gain that he had when he got to Chicago, how he put on like 30 pounds of muscle.

Speaker 1 Do you remember what his explanation was? Yeah, his hot dogs.

Speaker 5 Well, his hot dogs, and also he said that he had a bad wisdom tooth his whole life, and then he finally got it taken care of when he got to Chicago, and he was able to finally eat.

Speaker 5 So he put on 30 pounds of muscle in an offseason.

Speaker 1 Sammy is hilarious. I know he is.
Fucking sneezed and broke his back.

Speaker 1 I mean, the jukebox is actually like, they should do a 30 for 30 on Sammy's jukebox that no one was allowed to touch. And then someone smashed it.
And it's like

Speaker 1 him leaving the last game of the season, his last Cubs game, and they still won't bring him back, which is another weird one.

Speaker 1 Just like, why would you ignore a piece of your history? Uh-huh.

Speaker 5 I think Mark McGuire is doing steroids again, John.

Speaker 3 He's going to get the USC treatment little foreshadowing.

Speaker 1 What? Mark Oscar McCuffy.

Speaker 5 Oh, yeah, we're going to get to it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. Other things.
PFT was in a show tonight.

Speaker 5 I was on Billions.

Speaker 3 A much better. Yeah, much better.

Speaker 1 Yeah, a little bit of a premiere.

Speaker 5 There's Emmy and Oscar Buzz somehow behind it.

Speaker 5 They knew what they were doing when they put me next to Cece Sabathia, six foot seven, six foot eight, some websites are saying. And they had me stand in the background behind them.

Speaker 5 It was a major El Tuve Aaron Judge situation.

Speaker 1 You looked good. You looked like an art guy.

Speaker 5 I did. I bought those glasses specifically because they told me it was going to be at an art show.
So I was like, these are my art glasses that I looked through for that.

Speaker 5 They cut out my improv line, though. Where I told Axe, I think you should pay for these or make me 13.
No, I said, I think you should pay for your own fucking stadiums. Shit.

Speaker 5 Yeah, absolutely roasted him. Come on.

Speaker 1 That would have happened there. Uh-oh, it didn't.

Speaker 5 But in your head, it did. It would have been great.

Speaker 5 That's what I had planned.

Speaker 5 Anytime you show up to be an extra, I don't care how long, like,

Speaker 5 if you have a speaking part that's been written for you, if you're one of like 2,000 extras in the background, you have to have an improv line ready to go for it.

Speaker 5 So mine was going to be, if they asked, I was going to tell them, hey, pay for your own fucking stadium, Bobby Axel Rod.

Speaker 3 How long were you on set for that appearance?

Speaker 5 About five hours. It was about five hours.
Shout out to Brian Koppelman for making it happen. I mean, I've been watching Billions since it debuted.
So this was like, it was a pretty cool setup.

Speaker 5 So this was the last day, I think, before quarantine happened. So nobody was allowed to like touch hands or anything on set.

Speaker 5 It was an awesome experience, except for the fact that they poured me champagne. They asked me what kind of drink I wanted to have.

Speaker 5 I said, yeah, I'll take champagne because that's what people around me were getting. And I'm not a diva.

Speaker 1 Oh, like as your, as your, as your role.

Speaker 5 In the, in the shot. Oh.
So everyone had like a drink in their hands.

Speaker 3 People get drunk on movies like TV show sets.

Speaker 5 I just had a champagne flute. And so they poured it for me and then I took a sip and then I'm like, oh yeah, it's just water that's been dyed to look like champagne.

Speaker 5 You know, that really, I was, it took all my acting ability to be able to act like I was holding real champagne.

Speaker 5 And I'll bet none of you guys knew that. If you watched the episode, that's such a great actor.
Yeah, such a great actor. So that was method.

Speaker 1 Yes, you looked, the glasses were so perfect. You were just, you were like Soho.
You were basically like guy three in every like Soho art posse.

Speaker 5 That's exactly what I was. It was in Soho as well.

Speaker 1 Guy who doesn't talk.

Speaker 5 Yeah, guy who doesn't talk and attends an art show and pretends to know what's going on.

Speaker 1 He probably

Speaker 1 has a huge bag of cocaine in his pocket. I did not have that.
You're the crew. I did not have that.
You're the cocaine character.

Speaker 5 I showed up empty-handed like a schlub. But when I got there, they put me into the hair and makeup room.
And they're like, yeah, this guy doesn't need makeup.

Speaker 5 And then they, I guess they asked how close I was going to be to the camera, all that. And they looked at my hair and they were like,

Speaker 5 is this what you normally look like? And I was like, yeah, that's the sneakiest, mean, nice thing that anyone's ever said to me.

Speaker 1 That's really funny.

Speaker 5 And then they just kind of ran a comb through my hair and sent me out there.

Speaker 1 So go get them. That is funny.
That is funny.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was a very funny visual.

Speaker 1 I wish we would have been watching that and not the documentary. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Whatever. I'm still mad.
I don't know.

Speaker 5 I think you're more mad than most people are because of the Sammy thing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that part pisses me off.

Speaker 1 Why? He's so electric.

Speaker 5 I think that it's actually a good thing for Sammy to not be closely associated with this documentary.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I just, yeah, part two, Sammy Sosa.
Just give us unfiltered Sammy.

Speaker 5 Or just that month that he had. Go into more detail about that.

Speaker 5 And I thought that the best parts were just watching the home runs.

Speaker 1 Really, the documentary.

Speaker 5 Really, the documentary was just great for those of us that lived through it. And we were like, yeah, that was awesome.
Yeah, that home run was awesome. Oh, I remember that home run.
Dude, moonshine.

Speaker 1 That one was awesome.

Speaker 5 It was just moonshot. But yeah, overall, I'm going to give it

Speaker 5 two balls.

Speaker 1 Would I give it 1.5?

Speaker 3 I get 1.6.

Speaker 1 Okay, so the other story we have before we get to who's back, Kyrie Irving

Speaker 1 and other players in the NBAPA, they had a big meeting

Speaker 1 or sorry, phone call on Friday, was it? Where they discussed going back to play, and Kyrie Irving said that they shouldn't because it would take away from Black Lives Matter,

Speaker 1 what people are pushing for right now.

Speaker 1 The thing I don't understand, I actually, Kyrie's statement, I actually kind of agree with.

Speaker 1 Like, his point is, if you're, if, if we're pushing for something to radically change, the one thing you don't want to allow is for people to be like, can we just get back to normal?

Speaker 1 Because, like, when you're back to normal, it's a, it's an easy way of just saying, oh, well, like, we'll deal with that later. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 So, what he's saying, I actually completely understand.

Speaker 1 I think that the Kyrie being like

Speaker 1 a tougher messenger just because of like his

Speaker 1 You know the flat earth the weird stuff But it also I just don't understand like okay, so if now's not the time when would it be the time to go back and play?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm fine with them saying hey, we're not gonna go back right now because we got to focus like Dwight Howard had a statement focus on the community like that. I get it.

Speaker 1 I get what they're saying, but this is gonna take a while and so is it gonna be next year too?

Speaker 5 Like when is the appropriate time?

Speaker 1 I'm fine with whatever answer, but I just don't understand.

Speaker 5 So if you make it about not wanting to distract from other more serious issues, then you're also opening the door for saying when you do come back, you're kind of saying that you're coming back because you feel like something's been accomplished.

Speaker 5 And so, then it's like, okay, well, when would that exact time be? As a selfish sports fan, I would love to see some NBA playoffs. It would be amazing.
But Kyrie's, he's not wrong.

Speaker 5 I hope they figure out a way to do both.

Speaker 1 Right, ideally. No, he's not wrong because it is really like when you say to yourself, I just want it to be back to normal.

Speaker 1 What you're saying is, I want it to be back to normal where, like, we just just stuffed, you know, like the racial issues in America down in a box, like be like, oh, we'll deal with that later.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I get that.

Speaker 5 Listen, I would like to forget about everything that's going on, too, but a lot of people can't forget about it. Right.
So that's what they're getting at.

Speaker 5 And yeah, Dwight and Kyrie, it is a pretty weird duo that's kind of like leading the charge.

Speaker 1 It would be weird.

Speaker 3 I wonder why we have the vice president of the players. Okay, yeah, he's like trying to be the voice of like, you know, if you're a player, you should be able to get your voice heard.

Speaker 3 I think a lot of people are misconstruing that where it's like, it is his literal job and role to speak out on behalf of the player.

Speaker 1 And I think the

Speaker 1 issue that people, like the message, I understand the messenger in Kyrie Irving, again, he can say whatever and he can, like,

Speaker 1 he's right. I agree with what he's saying, but he also has had like a string of

Speaker 1 weird, like me-first things. So it's harder to like, I think I understand it, but I think the like regular fan, like people can be like, what the fuck is Kyrie talking about?

Speaker 5 If I could play Devil's Advocate here, I think that Kyrie is actually just playing Devil's Advocate. I think Kyrie loves playing Devil's Advocate.
He does.

Speaker 5 I feel like he loves taking kind of the contrarian point of view

Speaker 5 and asking questions. And a lot of times it makes him seem like kind of a strange guy, but sometimes he has a point.

Speaker 5 And I think he does have a point, but I also think that there's probably a way that they'll figure out that's going to be kind of a meet-in-the-middle thing, where they figure out a way to play the games while simultaneously kind of keeping the discussion at the national forefront.

Speaker 5 I think that's eventually where we're going to end up. But yeah, Kyrie,

Speaker 5 I think more than anything, he wants that opposing point of view to be out there and have it be discussed.

Speaker 1 It's just that Kyrie's, the string of Kyrie stories from like the last, I don't know, five years have all been not great.

Speaker 1 So it's weird.

Speaker 1 Again, he can, the message is the message here.

Speaker 5 It's just when I saw it from Kyrie, I was like, huh. You know what this is doing?

Speaker 1 Like, what would happen if it was from LeBron? I think it would be a lot different.

Speaker 5 You know what this is doing? This is actually a good test in our mental strength.

Speaker 5 If you want to be a mental alpha, sometimes you have to be able to see somebody's point of view who you disagree with about everything else that they say.

Speaker 1 Yeah. No, it's true.
So I don't know what's going to happen. I mean,

Speaker 1 I hope they play, but

Speaker 1 it feels like all the sports right now are in a weird limbo that it might just...

Speaker 1 Like, we're back. I feel like we've gone backwards.
Two weeks ago, it felt like sports were coming back. Now I couldn't tell you what's going to happen.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like even college football, you saw the Houston player tested positive for coronavirus. They had to shut that down.
Like,

Speaker 1 what if that keeps happening everywhere?

Speaker 5 I'm just of the mindset that college football has proven themselves to be a sport that's just going to say full send.

Speaker 1 Let's just do an easy one. Well, at least the South, for sure.

Speaker 5 Yes, we're just going to do it and we'll figure out all the drawbacks after they happen.

Speaker 1 What would you guys say? Chances that they play the NBA season?

Speaker 5 75%.

Speaker 1 Okay, that seems about right. Hockey, I haven't heard anything from, even though.

Speaker 5 No, COVID's just an upper body injury to a hockey player.

Speaker 1 Baseball seems like it's going to be 50 games. NFL is going to power through.
College football, I don't know what's going to happen because college football is the big question mark in my mind because

Speaker 1 if it's at all like a health issue, they're not getting picked. MLS.
Immediately throw. Oh, yeah.
MLS is going to be back. Fucking sick.

Speaker 5 Super rugby debuted this weekend down in New New Zealand. Also sick.
Bowden Barrett switching teams. Oh, wow.
Really? Big time like LeBron James going to L.A. type thing.

Speaker 3 Damn. I would also, if we may, big cat, talk

Speaker 3 like

Speaker 3 10 minutes into the future of this podcast and say that I do have another who's back.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. Who's your Denny Hamlin? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Danny won.

Speaker 5 Denny's back. Also, who's back, Slowy Slogano being too slow?

Speaker 5 He got his ass last.

Speaker 1 Did he really? Yep.

Speaker 1 I read one tweet about that, so maybe not.

Speaker 5 You got to run around the track naked.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Skunk. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, before we do who's back of the week?

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Speaker 5 Seriously, guys, it's a game-changing flavor for every gathering. Boarshead, committed to craft since 1905.

Speaker 1 Okay, who's back? Hank.

Speaker 3 My who's back of the week is a bunch of USC athletes who graduated like 10 years ago.

Speaker 1 Okay, yes. Reggie Bush, OJ Mayo.

Speaker 3 I don't know about OJ Simpson, if they brought him back or not. Probably not.

Speaker 3 But the way it was tweeted, like for a split second, I saw the OJ Mayo announcement and I i thought he was going to be playing this year yeah he was like oj mayo has been reinstated as if he had been suspended um i guess it's just so they could sell more like merchandise because i don't really know what

Speaker 1 well reggie bush can probably now uh get paid to do like promotional stuff for usc the house to go give give speeches and all that stuff it's so stupid the house is now officially paid off so therefore they can bring him back and reinstate him so yeah it's absolutely i think they can sell

Speaker 5 reggie bush Bush merchandise now. They can put his face on like tickets, season ticket packages, things like that.

Speaker 1 He can probably go in the locker room

Speaker 1 before the game and stuff like that.

Speaker 1 It's one of the dumbest penalties that happened.

Speaker 3 And O.J. Mayo, like, are they going to, they don't, how can they promote him? He didn't even know.

Speaker 1 But Reggie Bush, well, he's playing pretty college.

Speaker 1 He was the highest

Speaker 3 drafted USC player, but he was a bust in the end.

Speaker 1 But what you're not thinking about

Speaker 1 is that he's not going to be able to do that.

Speaker 5 What you're not thinking about is he's got one of the sweetest names of all time. They can just market his name, be like, OJ Mayo is here, and people are like, Oh, yeah, I remember that.

Speaker 1 I just don't understand how you could ever be like,

Speaker 1 These stupid penalties where they try to erase memories. Reggie Bush is so synonymous with USC, and those USC teams were so fucking electric.

Speaker 1 And for them to be like, Hey, now we can celebrate Reggie, like, no, yeah, we all have been doing that.

Speaker 3 Right, that's why it made no sense to me, but it just seemed like it was a, it was a, they could just sell now, now sell Reggie Bush jerseys in the store.

Speaker 5 Yes, he's very much back, though.

Speaker 1 O.J. Mayo, career earnings, go.
Oh, actually, less than I thought. $67 million.
$45 million. $45 million, yeah.
Is that it? $132? Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Fuck yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Less than I thought.

Speaker 1 I mean, he only made one contract. Yeah, I know, but everyone gets, I mean, $45 million.
Honestly, that's... Tony Stells' contract's $45 million.

Speaker 5 That's a disappointing amount of

Speaker 1 somebody who's that marketable. He was a bust.

Speaker 1 Okay, and is that it? For who's back? Yeah.

Speaker 3 Are we doing whom's back?

Speaker 1 Who's back?

Speaker 1 Just USCS?

Speaker 3 No, if we're doing who's back, that's it. I have one who's back because it's who's back.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 5 I love how they were having like Snoop Dogg on the sidelines, but they're like Reggie Bush. No, you're still persona non-grading.

Speaker 5 My who's back of the week is the Mayans. The Mayans are back.
Their calendar's back. The end of the world is back.
There was an interpretation saying that going off the Julian calendar.

Speaker 3 Billy just gave you like a mind-blown, like, yes.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, Billy's, obviously.

Speaker 5 Did I steal yours, Billy?

Speaker 6 I didn't know I was supposed to do one.

Speaker 1 Okay, yeah.

Speaker 5 So the Julian calendar, I guess, is what now people are saying. The Mayans were actually basing their December 21st, 2012 prediction off of.
So they're saying, guess what?

Speaker 5 The world's going to end in like 10 days or something. So

Speaker 5 we were due for this. This is the summer of Fear Porn as we've gone through the Murder Hornet.
We've gone through the Yellowstone Volcano. Pretty soon,

Speaker 5 next up in the wind is going to be, it's going to be a summer of the shark again. We're overdue for a shark attack.

Speaker 1 Well, there's no people in the beaches.

Speaker 5 Yeah, but we're still going to have some shark attackers.

Speaker 1 There was one, actually.

Speaker 5 Yeah, Yeah, because sharks are back this summer. Right.
Sharks are

Speaker 5 more bloodthirsty than ever.

Speaker 5 We're due for a shark attack summer.

Speaker 5 We already have the locusts, so we got the plagues.

Speaker 5 Cicadas. Cicadas are coming.
And I'm going to say hurricane season.

Speaker 5 We're due for an article that's going to say experts predict the 2020 hurricane season to be five times as powerful as it is normally.

Speaker 1 Well, that's unfortunately going to happen every year for the rest of our lives.

Speaker 5 Yeah, so the Mayans are definitely back. So I think we have 10 days.

Speaker 5 So get that bag pack that we talked about the other day of all the shit that you want to do when you get the 10-minute notification that the world's about to end.

Speaker 1 So their clock was just wrong.

Speaker 5 Well, the interpretation of the clock is wrong.

Speaker 1 Their clock is the sun.

Speaker 5 Yes. But

Speaker 5 the way that it works is over the course of the last, I don't know, 10,000 years, however long it's been since the Mayans made that prediction, we've lost

Speaker 5 like

Speaker 5 2,000 days. My math is very off on that, but we've lost enough days where going back to December 12th of 2012, it's like that period to now.

Speaker 1 You don't get

Speaker 1 this bullshit. You don't get a redo.
If you say that the world's going to end, you got to fucking drink your own Kool-Aid and die in your fucking air monarchs. You have to do that.

Speaker 1 You don't get a redo. The people who decide like the world is ending.
Here's a cult. I know the Mayans weren't a cult, but they decide the world is ending.
You don't get a redo.

Speaker 1 That's a one-time thing.

Speaker 5 Well, if you know anything about cults, there are guys that make their entire living off of predicting it every like two years. And being wrong.
And they're like, you better

Speaker 5 give me all your money, and that way I can ensure that you're going to get on the spaceship that takes you to heaven. But that's why they're a sham.

Speaker 1 Not because they're a cult. Like, anyone could have a cult, and I believe if they're like, hey, this is when it's going to end, you at least have my ear.
But if you get it wrong once, you're out.

Speaker 1 I think the world is

Speaker 5 the world's going to end

Speaker 5 January.

Speaker 5 No, it's going to be after the Super Bowl. February 10th.

Speaker 5 2045. Okay.
That's my prediction.

Speaker 1 Okay, you got to die, though, if you don't get that wrong. 2045.
How old am I going to be? I'm going to be. The cool age.

Speaker 1 okay yeah how old are you going to be you didn't actually figure it out no i didn't

Speaker 1 it just seems like that's

Speaker 1 20 20 55

Speaker 1 2045 seems like long enough in the future

Speaker 1 60 where where i'll either be old enough to not that was the fakest math ever 2045

Speaker 1 2045 okay yeah yeah on my 80th birthday in 2045 i'm gonna go out with a prostitute and a bad batch of heroin boom oh all right my who's who's back i have two hank if that's okay that is First is

Speaker 1 Branley Chamberly, because he's back because he said on the golf channel that social media is a cesspool because it skews left.

Speaker 1 I think it's just a cesspool because your name's fucking Branley Chambliss and you suck, dude. Here's to explain to Hank.

Speaker 3 Why is politics in terms of left and right?

Speaker 1 Oh, I think I know this.

Speaker 5 I think it's like back in the day.

Speaker 1 This is where they sit. Yeah, they

Speaker 1 used to sit.

Speaker 5 people on the left versus on the right based on what party is.

Speaker 1 Something really stupid like that. It's like long as fuck.
Yeah, it's like, oh, they just happened. Like, it probably was some fucking

Speaker 1 liberal politician was super fat. So you had like the first seat was right next to the door to the left.

Speaker 5 Yeah, it was the two entrances at the extremes on either end. Right.
Oh, speaking of another who's back is Paw Patrol. Oh, it is.

Speaker 5 Paw Patrol got canceled online, but not really canceled, but there was talk about canceling it because I guess the dogs, I don't know, you're a dad.

Speaker 5 I'm a dad, too, but you've probably seen more Paw Patrol than that.

Speaker 1 I haven't. We're not at the ability, we're not at the ability to hold one thought or attention for more than 15 seconds.

Speaker 5 So they got canceled because the dogs are police officers, I think? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Just can't, yeah.

Speaker 5 So they got canceled, but then they got brought back.

Speaker 5 I was saying this on the live stream. There should be an alternate programming at the same time, Antipaw, which is a radical left-wing dog cartoon show.

Speaker 5 And then they can just fight against each other.

Speaker 3 I like that.

Speaker 1 And then we could have, yeah, we just tell us all the current events. Maybe you don't have to watch CNN or Fox or anything anymore.

Speaker 1 You can just watch that honestly yes just give me yeah have cartoons explain everything um my other who's back is mini hoops because i bought one for my son and he uh actually his grandfather bought it for him for his birthday so i should say that but it is awesome to have a mini hoop back in my life i was putting up buckets today they're so awesome like i feel like i'm wet on a mini hoop from on a couch dude you just throw it it always goes in i gotta say like My son can't walk yet, but he can hold himself up, and he fucking sucks at defense.

Speaker 1 He was just hanging on the rim while i was just splashing in his dude you should cross him up you should be put videos out of you absolutely breaking your swords and angles rim protection i've ever seen so i'm back though i'm gonna start i'm just gonna be throwing down dunks you know just doing random fucking trick shots how high is the it's like and maybe two feet i could dunk on that yeah

Speaker 5 yeah yes you can yes you can i'm gonna get wet on that hoop yeah so uh i'm back in the mini hoop game it feels good i'm gonna buy so many mini hoops you know what i loved there's there was like two years of your life when you're the exact right height to have the

Speaker 5 hoop that goes on top of your door frame and you can dunk on it, but it's not super easy to dunk on.

Speaker 5 That felt like you were on the moon when you were able to do like a reverse dunk on that. Yes.

Speaker 3 Me and my brother used to play on like a, I think we had a six foot ceiling.

Speaker 3 And so the hoop was like five foot three inches and we were still just like running around like trying to just dunks only on each other.

Speaker 1 Yeah, if you don't

Speaker 3 get thrown into a radiator.

Speaker 5 I still like to touch the top of the door frame when I'm going like underneath the door. You guys would feel like I'm jamming.

Speaker 1 Did you guys ever know a kid who had the

Speaker 1 hoop on the back of the door that was like it had like a chute to the hamper?

Speaker 1 That was the most diabolical invention ever where they tricked everyone to do their laundry. Kids do their laundry by using a basketball hoop.

Speaker 5 Doing laundry is a game, kids. No, it's not.

Speaker 1 So fucked up. Honestly, I still would yam on that.

Speaker 5 When I had a friend that had one of those and they used it, I was like, dude, your mom is playing you. Bro, you're such a sucker.

Speaker 1 You are like, you're, this is 1984. You're just a robot, and the man has got you.

Speaker 5 They got you.

Speaker 5 You are so lame.

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Speaker 6 Who's back of the week? Scary insects. So now they're trying to scare us and say there's a new mosquito-borne illness.

Speaker 1 Oh, I saw that. Equine.
No, fuck that.

Speaker 6 Yeah, it's 3 to 15 people get it a year, and only 4% of people who get stung by or

Speaker 6 bit by the mosquito with the disease get it. It's absolutely BS.
It's like 3 to 15 is a lot. I'm sorry if you do contract it, but it's not enough.

Speaker 1 Wait, 3 to 15 people? Yeah. No, that's not a lot.
I don't have to apologize. Everyone got mad at me about toxoplasmosis.
No, you don't have to apologize.

Speaker 1 3 to 15 people.

Speaker 5 What happens if you get it? You die.

Speaker 1 40% of people die. Well, who get it? Well, no, so then that's a blessed.

Speaker 1 So, like, six people die. Yeah.
At max.

Speaker 6 At least one.

Speaker 5 Now, are there more of this illness this year?

Speaker 6 Yeah, they're saying they're just bringing it back up because four to six.

Speaker 6 Am I correct? It's only in the northeast, and we had a pretty light winter, I would say. Not too much snow.

Speaker 1 You could tell me any single year, you could be like, yeah, we had a heavy winter. We had a light winter.
I'd be like, okay. If you tell me that in June, I would never remember.

Speaker 6 So mosquitoes are out. I mean, it's fear-mongering.
I hate it. I'm going to try to hunt it down on the internet because it pisses me off.
Okay.

Speaker 1 And we got more rats.

Speaker 5 So shouldn't that protect us?

Speaker 6 No, they're fighting each other. Killing each other.

Speaker 1 Billy, you should get the disease and beat it. I mean...

Speaker 1 If you really want to. Then they'll name the disease after you.

Speaker 6 My immune system's pretty strong, not to brag.

Speaker 5 Yeah, yeah. Whoop.

Speaker 1 Check out the whoop.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I mean, I body diseases pretty easily. Okay.

Speaker 1 That's true.

Speaker 1 You did survive coronavirus. I did.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 Well,

Speaker 5 so if a mosquito bites you, they're sucking your coronavirus out of you. Then you're going to get them.

Speaker 6 So actually, actually, Berserker Blood called mosquito sucks out my antibodies.

Speaker 1 Yeah, then

Speaker 1 spreading to other people.

Speaker 1 All right, here's what we're going to do, Billy.

Speaker 5 We're going to take you to the moistest swamp area in this location. He lives in a nearby.

Speaker 1 He lives in a basement.

Speaker 6 Yeah, no, I moved out. I'm in a barn.

Speaker 3 Oh, yeah, that's right.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 6 there's a pond next to it.

Speaker 5 Okay, so what we're going to do is we're going to tie you to the tree next to your pond and just let mosquitoes feast on you and then send them out to spread the antibodies.

Speaker 6 Got to get my blood sugar high, though. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I like that you're like, I don't do that anymore. It's like Goodfellas.

Speaker 5 I don't shine shit.

Speaker 1 I don't shine.

Speaker 1 I don't live in a basement anymore. I live in a barn.
How are the frogs doing?

Speaker 5 The frogs are thick.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they look thick.

Speaker 6 They're thick. I actually, you know, a Twitch check may have dropped, and I might be trying to get an African bullfrog.

Speaker 1 Whoa, whoa,

Speaker 1 Billy. Yeah, I'm a.
How much is the Twitch check?

Speaker 6 Don't ask. I mean, I'm just saying it's

Speaker 6 60 bucks? So I'm going to get like this three-pound frog.

Speaker 1 It was like $14.99.

Speaker 1 There's.

Speaker 5 It's not small potatoes to me.

Speaker 6 I'm going to get this three-pound frog.

Speaker 1 They're huge.

Speaker 6 They're African bullfrogs. They're called pixie frogs on the market.
And they eat mice. And like, you know, if I get, yeah, I used to like, they're sick.

Speaker 5 Can we let it loose in here? Because we had them.

Speaker 1 Dude, they're not running.

Speaker 5 They're the only frog with teeth.

Speaker 6 They should have teeth. Yeah, it's awesome.
Anyway,

Speaker 1 I'm going to get one. All right, let's get to our interview with Dallas Braden.
We talk a little long gone summer. We talk a little baseball.
What the hell is going on?

Speaker 1 And whether or not Dallas Braden ever did steroids.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on our good friend, co-worker, host of Starting Nine,

Speaker 1 one-time no-hitter, pitcher. It is Dallas Braden.

Speaker 5 Well, you gave up no hits.

Speaker 1 It was a no-hitter. Dallas, we have a lot to talk about.
There's a lot of baseball news. Let's start, though, quickly with the long-gone summer, which we actually have not watched yet.

Speaker 1 We're taping this before, but you have watched. Yes.
So

Speaker 1 you came into the league right at the end, right at the end. Mitchell reports 2007.
So you come in the league, and credit to you, by the way, your first season.

Speaker 1 You made sure no one suspected you doing steroids because you were one and eight with a 6-7-2 ERA.

Speaker 1 You won the first one. He won the first one.
All right.

Speaker 7 It's probably a lackluster offense. I'm not going to put it on my teammates, but just

Speaker 1 yeah.

Speaker 1 So what are your memories from the end of that era where did you see guys still trying to do stuff in the clubhouse going through like the national conscience of like, hey, we got to stop the steroids?

Speaker 1 What was it like from a player's point of view?

Speaker 7 I mean, not specifically in my clubhouse. And if I'm being honest, it's because I was a rookie and I'm around a lot of savvy vets.
Like I'm, you know, head in the locker.

Speaker 7 Like I was not a guy who was bebopping around the clubhouse, like trying to do my own thing. And

Speaker 7 anybody should, I honestly spent a lot of time watching Dan Heron and Houston Street play Street Fighter. And that was pretty much like how I got outside of my bubble.

Speaker 7 But no, like there was, yeah, there was a conscious effort in terms of like trying not to be labeled because you would see guys who, you know, may or may not have had clouds of suspicion around them.

Speaker 7 And

Speaker 7 you could sort of feel guys by the way they were speaking to the media or, you know, maybe avoiding the media, whatever.

Speaker 7 And you, you kind of knew you could, you could all, it was palpable, like, oh, that's an effort to clean it up. You know, that's an effort to not be saddled with this any longer.

Speaker 7 Like, get me the fuck away from this list.

Speaker 1 Right. Yeah.

Speaker 5 And your, your fastball topped out at what, 82? Yeah.

Speaker 1 So, yeah,

Speaker 7 let's cut fastball. Yeah.

Speaker 1 There you go.

Speaker 5 Um, but when you were coming up to the minor leagues, I've always heard that minor league players kind of took the steroids issue a little bit more seriously because they could find themselves in like a log jam situation where the guy ahead of them for the major league club was very clearly or was suspected of using some some sort of performance enhancing drug and their testing wasn't as as strict as it was in the minor leagues was there ever any of that sentiment going around like man i really i they need to clean up the big league game so that it's a fair playing field for us down here sure you you you feel that way but this is something i've always said about steroids and the decision okay it's this is a business decision and you've got to you got to You got to think about a few things here.

Speaker 7 One, am I good enough?

Speaker 7 Do I believe that I'm good enough on the other side of getting popped, on the other side of the suspension?

Speaker 7 Am I already good enough for teams to overlook that and give me a chance because what I had in the tank already was something that was sexy, something that appealed to them?

Speaker 7 So if that's the case, cool. Decision, you know, check.
I can check that off. Next one, can I handle the ridicule from outside sources?

Speaker 7 Can I handle that mental pressure of other people telling me how big of a cheat I am, how much I suck, how terrible I am, what a ripoff and fraud, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 7 If I can handle that, cool, check that box. And then the last thing is, am I okay

Speaker 7 with being able to look the man in the mirror, look my friends, family, fans, whatever? Can I look them in the eye and be okay with making that decision?

Speaker 7 And if at the end of the day, you can check all three of those boxes, that's a business decision, regardless of who's in front of you, regardless of who you're trying to stave off behind you.

Speaker 7 If you can check those boxes, based on the penalties that are in front of these guys for making that decision, it's purely a business decision.

Speaker 7 And I watched that unfold in my own backyard in Oakland, not, I mean, recently as a, you know, as a broadcaster, we had an individual on our team who got popped.

Speaker 7 And if you think about it, it's a pure business decision. That's all it is.

Speaker 1 What do you take away from the steroid era? Like, are you firmly in the camp of let these guys in Cooperstown or are you like, this is a stain on the game?

Speaker 1 Because the craziest part, I'm sure they get to it in the documentary, but the fact that it it was so open, that Mark McGuire literally, the start of this conversation is Mark McGuire having Andro in his locker room next to his like trident gum in Copenhagen.

Speaker 1 It was that blatant.

Speaker 7 Well, yeah, but your dentist could have had that same bottle next to the Novocaine. Right.

Speaker 7 The fucking librarian could have had the same bottle next to whatever the hell he or she's popping behind the, like anybody could have had that.

Speaker 7 And that's what would the, that was the early part of it was, yeah, like, sure, this dude with fucking redwoods hanging off his elbows for forearms is taking this and it's available to, like I said, the librarian at the time.

Speaker 7 You could go and buy this at CVS. Right.
So it's, it's not like they were hiding that, you know, and in terms of being illegal, that specifically, that wasn't.

Speaker 7 But then, you know, you dig into it and the culture and obviously we know it's, it's, no, not just stopping at Andro.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 So yeah,

Speaker 7 it was an issue.

Speaker 1 So so do you think these guys should be in the Hall of Fame? Because it is funny looking back at the era and just

Speaker 1 how crazy the numbers were compared to where they've been, even in the juice ball era now. Like they still don't touch

Speaker 1 the fact that they not only crushed Roger Maris's record, but then Barry Bonds beats it a couple years later and Sammy beats it two more times.

Speaker 1 Like it was, it wasn't just like, oh, wait, it got 62 home runs. No, they fucking blew it out of the water and everyone was blowing it out of the water.

Speaker 7 Well, dude, you're talking about changing the game, right? You know what I mean? Like changing the way the game is played,

Speaker 7 like three-run homers, like fuck taking over, you know, bunt, excuse me, what? That became an absolute, like, no, you can't say that word.

Speaker 7 And that was the evolution of all of this is we've got, we got a guy in the eighth hole who's going to hit 30. This dude's going to hit 30 pumps.
Like, what do you fuck?

Speaker 7 What the fuck do you mean, bunt? We are changing everything about the game.

Speaker 7 So do they deserve to be in the hall of fame, in my opinion, because of what the game has evolved from, where we were, where we're at, where we're going? Yes.

Speaker 1 Why?

Speaker 7 Because this is a museum that is telling the story and the history of the game. All right.
I'll leave it up to the moms and dads, the aunts and uncles, grandmas and grandpas.

Speaker 7 You guys go ahead and tell Timmy and Tammy what kind of characters they were. I'll let you do that.
Okay. If that's what you want to do, that's your responsibility.

Speaker 7 But the Hall of Fame's responsibility is to let you know that that home run record was shat on and then shot on again and then shot on again. Like that's that's what the Hall of Fame is there for.

Speaker 5 I've always said that they should elect the guys in the Hall of Fame because there was also an advantage being gained on the pitching side of things.

Speaker 5 So it wasn't just the hitters that that were getting better, but

Speaker 5 it was also the pitchers.

Speaker 5 From your perspective, I'm interested to hear what kind of advantage could a pitcher get besides getting, you know, an extra five, you know, probably maybe five, but like probably three to five miles an hour on that fastball.

Speaker 7 Bounce back, Mr. Commenter.
Bounce back. Imagine being able to get on that Peloton after banging out somewhere between 360, 460.
Imagine being able to whip Booger's ass five days in a row, no stop.

Speaker 7 Okay, I'm in. Bounce back.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 7 It's the ability to bounce back and that is what it is it's obviously the strength advantages are there but if your body is rebounding and repairing and healing at a rapid rate over the course of what we know to be a marathon a trudge of a of a season advantage right and you've got five days in between your work days as a starting picture so if you're able to rebound like day five you're probably feeling like shit this is this is like seven days off like you know i i couldn't imagine being able to like work through that like what that would feel like you would feel like a fucking like a like secretariat right what what about when you're when you're at the end of your career you ever think about it you ever like hey i could probably you know i've been injured i could probably help myself out a little maybe get a couple more years out of this career oh i mean dude trust me like i said that's part of the whole business decision thing but um i and and for me one did i believe that i was good enough on the other side of getting popped or whatever absolutely not.

Speaker 7 Two, I, no, man. I would hate anybody to think like, oh, wow, like the one good day of work, imagine that getting tainted.
Like, like, fuck, are you kidding me?

Speaker 7 I, I have to work my ass off to not blow away in the wind.

Speaker 7 And

Speaker 7 I couldn't imagine having that put in, like, put into a negative light, like, because of the people who helped me get to where I was.

Speaker 1 Like, no way.

Speaker 7 I, no. But I'll tell you what, like, immediately after I retired, I was like, yo, is there a fucking steroid tree that I can grow in my backyard?

Speaker 1 Give me all of them.

Speaker 7 I just want to see, like, I want to see how big I could get, how jacked I get. Like, I would love to do that.

Speaker 5 Right. That'd be awesome.
Yeah, you actually should have done that. You should have retired, and then you should have had an entire second career where you come back.

Speaker 5 And then that way, the comeback, the Dallas Braden 2.0, is separate from the original one. So the perfect game, the no-hitter, remains like...
untainted and unscathed as far as your legacy goes.

Speaker 5 But Dallas Braden 2.0 shows up like 235.

Speaker 1 Yeah, hide in plain sight. Be like, I'm making a comeback and I'm doing steroids.
And people are like, ha ha, that's funny. Like, no, I told you guys.

Speaker 1 Like, when I got popped, I told you what I was doing steroids. So

Speaker 7 I had stem cell therapy done, right? And I had PRP done.

Speaker 7 I had all this shit done right like at the at the beginning of these treatments being a thing.

Speaker 7 And I couldn't have that done and be public about it because if something goes wrong or whatever, then the team would be able to void my contract. They'd be able to take money away from me.

Speaker 7 Because if I have that done and that's not sanctioned and I still am unable to come back, well, they could say, oh, well, it's probably because he had this unsanctioned procedure done.

Speaker 7 So, yep, give me that money back.

Speaker 7 And so I was, so I was like, no, I can't do that. So I had to wait it out.
I had to wait for the contract to expire. And I shit you not, 48 hours after my contract expired, I was on a table at Dr.

Speaker 7 Andrew's facility getting my fucking hip drilled into so that I could have the bone marrow taken out and spun and injected back into my shoulder.

Speaker 5 So how does that work in terms of getting your team to approve certain treatments? Like they have a doctor who gets to say what procedures the players are allowed to have?

Speaker 7 I mean, you ultimately have the say, but at that point in time, that was something that wasn't being approved by like as a

Speaker 7 as an actual recognizable form of therapy. So that wasn't a route that was being taken and being sanctioned by Major League Baseball, health insurance, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 7 Like I paid for that out of my own pocket.

Speaker 1 Interesting. I did that.
So Dr.

Speaker 5 James Andrews, recurring guest of part of my take award-winning listener as well, when you got your appointment with him, you scheduled that on your own.

Speaker 5 How long does it take? Like, what does the waiting list look like for Dr. Andrews? Could I just hit him up and be like, hey, can I get some PRP?

Speaker 7 You specifically, Mr. Commenter? Your odds are pretty good.
Yes. Like your cousin? No, they're going to have to wait.
Absolutely. There's no waiting list for a guy like you.

Speaker 7 There's no waiting list for a guy like me when I...

Speaker 5 Professional athletes, yeah.

Speaker 7 Yeah, absolutely not. No, especially then when you're talking like, because let's be real, that's a feather in the cap.
Should that shit work out? You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 Before we get back to the Dallas Braden interview, I want to talk to you guys about a new sponsor.

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Speaker 5 And now, more Dallas Braden.

Speaker 1 All right, let's go to today.

Speaker 1 Let's flash forward to today and the shit show that is the owners versus the union, this lost season. Now, I'm very much fuck the owners.

Speaker 1 I'm very much the players are in every right, and it feels like the owners are just stalling at this point to play the smallest amount of games that they then have to pay them prorated for and then get a playoffs and get all the TV deals and everything.

Speaker 1 Is there any argument at this point in time that is pro owners? Can you even play devil's advocate that the players are in the wrong in any way?

Speaker 7 I start and stop with, doesn't it suck? that somebody in the position they're in also has to take a hit?

Speaker 7 Yeah, like they're billionaires and what they're going to lose is a lot of money compared to what a player is going to lose and so on and so forth, right? Shit trickles downhill.

Speaker 7 But that's about where it stops. And I just always ask anybody, like, if there was you or your boss positioned to take this hit, who's going to survive? Who's in a better spot to take this hit?

Speaker 7 You or your boss? You or your boss? That's what this is about is the boss being in a better spot to take this hit right now.

Speaker 7 And I've said this from the very beginning. It all starts and stops with a simple exercise that is executed every year in Major League Baseball.
It's called arbitration.

Speaker 7 Owners don't want to pay the player what he thinks he's worth. The payer wants more than what the ownership thinks they're worth.
We can't agree. We go to arbitration.

Speaker 7 So about the language in this contract that

Speaker 7 the owners feel empowers them to circle back to the negotiating table based on no fans being available to attend these games and the union saying, No, no, that's that's not a thing.

Speaker 7 Well, if that's where we're at, let's figure that much out, and then from there, we would be able to figure this entire mess out because it would not be about posturing, it would not be about throwing out an offer that's not going to be entertainable or has any sort of non-starters.

Speaker 7 This is going to tell you, yes, owners, you can circle back and renegotiate, or no, owners, you signed on the dotted line 100%

Speaker 7 pro-rated. So, that is what you owe.
From that point on, let's move along. Well, that, boys, that hasn't happened.

Speaker 7 So that's why we're having this back and forth, back and forth, and it's just a fucking pissing contest, and it's horrible. The game is cannibalizing itself right now.

Speaker 5 I feel like the owners are just trying to put as many public offers out there as possible just so that they can have the optics of, oh, the players immediately rejected another one.

Speaker 5 But the reality is they're not making any concessions, really. They're just,

Speaker 5 in fact,

Speaker 5 it's more to their advantage to play fewer games as this drags on because they have to pay their employees, you know, not just the players, but they have to pay, you know, the people that work in the stadium, security, all that stuff.

Speaker 5 That's less money out of their pockets.

Speaker 5 So the more they keep this dragged on, making offers that are untenable from the players' point of view, and getting out in the press and having fucking Ken Rosenthal and Jeff Passan or Passon, whatever his name is, say, like, oh, the players just rejected another offer, that puts more pressure on the players.

Speaker 5 But if you look at it from a big picture perspective, that's not really fair because they're they're not making any concessions.

Speaker 7 I mean, come on, man.

Speaker 7 Is it my job as an employee as well to help you, the employer, be able to pay other employees?

Speaker 1 What the fuck? Right. Like, that's

Speaker 5 a situation like this is the risk goes on the owner because they bought the team. The team is a fucking cash cow.

Speaker 5 They're making millions and millions and millions and millions of dollars with virtually no downside. This is a speed bump in the road for them.

Speaker 1 And think about the players.

Speaker 7 Think about the players. We have a finite time.
We have a

Speaker 7 minute window of opportunity of earning power, comparatively speaking, to the billionaires who have a, quite literally, a lifetime.

Speaker 7 Until these fuckers kick rocks, they will be able to churn that money maker. And that is not the case for a player.
That is just not the, we're living in two completely different worlds.

Speaker 7 And for the owners to be asking, look, you guys have heard it.

Speaker 7 we are privatizing gains and socializing losses that is what the ownership stance is all about is no no hey players aka employees of mine uh i'm gonna take a hit and i've got to pay other employees so can you guys as you know employees help me out pay these other employees what the are you right

Speaker 1 it's it's it's the privatizing gains and socializing losses is the part that i i i think most people understand but there's still some people i see who who don't fully get it That the owners will never.

Speaker 1 Do you think, let me ask you this.

Speaker 1 Do you think that this conversation would have a better chance of getting fixed if the owners were at all forthright about the money they make and lose every single year, which they'll never do?

Speaker 1 We all know they will never do that. It is, they keep it from each other.

Speaker 1 Like, they don't want anyone to know because they know that they can cook the books however they want and they can basically keep making money.

Speaker 1 So, do you think, though, let's say a perfect world if the owner said, hey, here's our entire operation, Here's the entire balance sheet. Come back to the table.

Speaker 1 Do you think the players would be open to that?

Speaker 7 That's a hell of a starting point, Mr. Cat.
That is a hell of a starting point.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 7 Imagine that. Imagine someone going, hey, you want to go into business together? Here's what I make.
Here's what it costs. Here's where I lose money.
Here's what it all looks like. Imagine that.

Speaker 7 You know what? That's a conversation I'd probably be inclined to have. But what's happening is, hey, Mr.
Cat, want to go into business? And you're going, yeah, how much do you shut up?

Speaker 7 Quit asking questions. Well, I just want to know, like, how much are we going to shut up? Quit asking questions.
Right. What? No, I'm probably not going to go into business with you, man.

Speaker 5 Right. What about this? We're a solutions-oriented podcast.
John Taft has taught us to do that.

Speaker 5 So, what if the owners, since they're expecting you to take a hit on the downside of things, what if the owners said, you know what? This isn't just going to be a rainy day situation.

Speaker 5 What if we give the players upside and attendance goes way up next year, or attendance goes up in certain games and situations we're going to cut the players an extra check and give you guys some buy-in on that do you think that the players would have that conversation like like like a potential sliding scale in terms of yeah like if you're it would be fair right if they're asking you to take to share some of the burden then you should in theory also get some of the reward when you when the risk pays off right Again, a great starting point, Mr.

Speaker 7 Commenter. A wonderful starting point.
Yes, those are all ideas that would be wonderful to have out on the table.

Speaker 7 But starting at, let's see the books, well, when you throw us the Heisman, when you're like, nope, sorry, I can't do that.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 7 Like, we know what's going on there. That is the blatant, that is the reddest flag you could send up the flagpole.
Is it not?

Speaker 1 So what's the, if I had asked you right now, like you had to put your life on the line for amount of games, you could say zero,

Speaker 1 amount of games for this season. What would you say?

Speaker 7 Well, zero is not an option purely because you guys have your head wrapped around this. You understand.

Speaker 7 We're going to play games so that we can get the TV money, but we're going to play the smallest amount possible because this is all about a business decision from the owner's perspective.

Speaker 7 So we're going to play the minimum available.

Speaker 1 So 50 games.

Speaker 7 And that's going to be, yes. And you know, it's going to be because they won't have to pay the players as much, but they'll be able to rake in as much as possible.

Speaker 1 So, and if 50 games, what do you imagine happens with starting rotations?

Speaker 1 Do you think that as a former starting pitcher, do you think there will be with that shortened stretch teams being like, hey, we can survive this with

Speaker 1 four guys, four arms, and let's just throw our best guy out there as many times as possible because we know that we got to make hay in these 50 games.

Speaker 7 So now let's have some fun because we're already coming to terms with it. It's a 50-game season.
We're talking about essentially spring training dictating a world champion at the end of this, right?

Speaker 7 So hopefully all these boys have been, you know, protecting their chickens, feeding their chickens. And if they have, well, then it's going to be an absolute sprint.

Speaker 7 And you are going to see like hitters, sorry about your 2020 stats. That's going to, that's unfortunate.
Right.

Speaker 7 Because they are going to, they are going to suffer mightily because the pitchers are always the ones who have the timing advantage in the first part of the season.

Speaker 7 So starters, yes, like guys like Scherzer, right? The horses, even guys like Strauss, I mean, there's names that can go on and on and the DeGroms.

Speaker 7 These guys are going to be, they're going to let them eat. They're going to let them eat.

Speaker 7 But the other guys, it's going to be sort of like that playoff push where I don't want to say the first sign of trouble, but because there's going to be a group of guys that we're going to be able to go to here, you understand how this is going to go.

Speaker 7 It's going to be sort of an all-hands on deck approach. And like the bleeding, it's going to be tourniquet central.
Band-aid after band-aid after band-aid.

Speaker 7 Like the minute we can switch up arms and match up, that's what's going to happen.

Speaker 1 It's going to be,

Speaker 1 in a weird way, I would say baseball is a sport that

Speaker 1 managing has slowly waned in terms of its importance.

Speaker 1 And I'm not saying that they're not important, but you know, like a lot of these teams, I mean, like the Yankees have a game plan and they're basically following it.

Speaker 1 And Aaron Boone just kind of pulling the strings.

Speaker 1 This will be interesting because this will probably be the hardest season for a manager and the most that managing will come into play game to game because like you said, you know, first sign of trouble, we got to win this game.

Speaker 1 It's not going to be like a Sunday in the middle of July where you're like, hey, we can, let's get the fuck out of Cincinnati. We can lose this game and recoup tomorrow.

Speaker 1 Teams are going to be going for it all the time. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 7 BFT, the bullpins, baby. The bullpins.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's right. The business rolls.
Is it going to be

Speaker 1 a 50-man roster? I heard, is it going to be that?

Speaker 7 50 and then sliding. So, like 50 down to 35, or I believe 50, maybe down to 40, down to 30 to 25, like in a, in a, like in a week or so, like over the weeks.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 7 And that's to, that's to, you know, try to get some sort of resemblance of a normal situation.

Speaker 1 So that will be just, you can throw any bullpen arm out there.

Speaker 1 Yes. These games are going to take forever.
Yeah. Well, oh my God, this is actually like the worst.
Dallas. These games are going to take like six hours.

Speaker 5 Should we bet overs or unders? Just to sell it down to that.

Speaker 1 Unders is what he's saying.

Speaker 7 Unders. Yes, unders.
But remember, you've got the three-batter minimum this year.

Speaker 7 yeah so the guys you know they're not going to be so to your point about it taking forever true that's why i said that's why i said the minute that they can match up the minute that they can get their arms switched up they will because you've got that three batter minimum to factor in have they have do you think they'll uh i saw some scuttlebutt about possibly not having uh you know possibly having dh across the board is that still on the table for justice absolutely yes yes and and look man just by the way that the the game is trending warm up to that idea as somebody who is is as pure of a purist as I think I could possibly be, I love the idea of being a ball player.

Speaker 7 And being a pitcher means you've got to be a ball player. Field your position, know where you've got to go, be serviceable with a bat in your hand per game situation.

Speaker 7 But I always use Adam Wainwright as an example. I don't want to miss out if I'm a Cardinals fan.
I don't want to miss out on a season late in Adam Wainwright's storied career.

Speaker 7 because he blew his Achilles, you know, running out of the box. Like, what the fuck? Come on.

Speaker 7 And no offenses even thinking in that fashion. They're not trying to engineer runs in that manner.
So let's give that other guy on the squad. Let's give him some more meaning.

Speaker 7 Let's give him some more responsibility and let him play because that's what the fans are there to see. They're see they want to see balls fly out of the yard, right?

Speaker 7 And it's anybody else on that roster, aside from Wainwright's probably a better option.

Speaker 5 Oh, it's going to be a crazy finish of this.

Speaker 1 All right, so Dallas, you said that you

Speaker 1 think you got to be a ball player. You have zero hits? Zero hits, right?

Speaker 7 Oh, yeah, American league just so you know well i'm looking though you you did have plate appearances yeah i had plate appearances you had zero hits yeah hey do you do you see who my first career plate appearances were against no uh yeah probably the greatest left-handed pitcher of my generation clayton kershaw oh so it wasn't

Speaker 5 excuse got the button down got the button down sorry about it you know you know what if if i'm like a lefty that gets the shift put on me all the time i'm spending these three months these four months however long it takes to get back just working on bunting just bunting every single day, taking reps that way.

Speaker 5 You can probably lay down, what, a thousand bunts in a day and not feel any more sore the next day. That's exactly, just work that third baseline.

Speaker 7 I've been telling, so I've been telling Ole, Matt Olson, the first baseman for the Oakland Ace, who he's got that club in the back. He'll lay a bunt down third base every now and then.

Speaker 7 That's what I was telling him, bro. You need to shit can BP and you need to just be wearing out the left side, like just playing Pepper all day long.

Speaker 1 You hit 400.

Speaker 7 You want to hit 400 in this 60 game, this 50 game season? That's how you hit 400.

Speaker 1 Bro, you got out from Randy Wells, one of my favorite Cubs pitchers, no-name Cubs pitchers ever.

Speaker 1 There was a summer where I convinced myself Randy Wells had the stuff. He got you out.

Speaker 1 I'm looking at it right now.

Speaker 7 That was the game in Chicago.

Speaker 1 Yes, Randy Wells. I fucking love that guy.
He's just like

Speaker 7 a, how'd that game turn out?

Speaker 1 He looked like a totally like, you know, guy you could see literally having a beer in Wrigleyville, and then he was pitching.

Speaker 1 And there was, you know, when your team's doing bad and you just convince yourself like random guys, you're like, yo, that guy could be good. Randy Wells was that guy for me.

Speaker 1 That game, the Cubs lost.

Speaker 1 No, that's the Cubs won. Yeah, they did.

Speaker 1 Suck it.

Speaker 1 Oh, man. All right.

Speaker 1 Last thing I wanted to talk about real quick. The Yankees, this letter.
All I saw online was that John Boy was trending, and I assume that that means the Yankees also cheated.

Speaker 1 I was moving this weekend, so I didn't fully, I just deduced from that.

Speaker 5 So there's a letter.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there's a letter.

Speaker 5 What we know is there's a letter, and it's about to be unsealed.

Speaker 1 Yes, so explain what's going on, Dallas.

Speaker 7 Yeah, well, there was, there was a letter from the commissioner's office between the Astros, between the Yankees.

Speaker 7 I'm trying to think of the other club, the Red Sox, excuse me.

Speaker 7 And those were all sealed, right? Just between those two people, those two parties, those four parties, those now six parties with the Yankees and the Commissioner's office.

Speaker 7 And people want to know what's in them. People want to know what these are about, and the Yankees are saying,

Speaker 7 there's nothing here. There's nothing here.
But at the same time, they're saying there's nothing here, but we don't want it open because it could be extremely damaging to our reputation.

Speaker 1 Don't open it. It's nothing.
Don't open it. Cool.

Speaker 7 See here, but if you were to actually see it, shit could hit the fans, so we don't want you to see it.

Speaker 5 It's pretty much nothing on the letter. They just would rather not you read it.
Right. That's pretty normal stuff.
Right.

Speaker 7 Yeah, we've all been there.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 I was doing some reading on it.

Speaker 5 It was, it's based around a lawsuit from these two guys that were playing daily fantasy sports, and they were pissed off because they thought that they got swindled out of that.

Speaker 1 They had Mon Fury like a gambler's player.

Speaker 5 Exactly. Like a fantasy baseball player scorned.

Speaker 5 That is some shit coming down the pipeline your way. So they took it all the way to, like, I think the second they appealed it, and it got overturned on appeal or something.

Speaker 5 And so now the Yankees' letter is caught up. So my question is:

Speaker 5 was this actually just one letter that was sent sent from Major League Baseball to the Yankees? Like it was one piece of paper, and that's the only copy that exists?

Speaker 1 What is a sealed letter?

Speaker 7 I believe, I believe, in each one of these instances, if you believe the Holy Grail is the sealed letter and that that was it, that was the only form of communication,

Speaker 1 I believe you are wrong.

Speaker 7 I believe there had to have been multiple correspondents relaying, you know, to what degree, like maybe even sort of finding out is, is this okay?

Speaker 7 Is what we're doing? Is this or, you know, hey, it's been rumored that you're doing X, Y, and Z. And so then the response is, no, no, we're only doing this.
We're only, and it's like, oh, okay.

Speaker 7 Well, then,

Speaker 7 well, then this final letter is like, all right, this is what we know. What's going on here? This is what we have.
Like, you know, I think it has to be something. to that effect.

Speaker 7 And then now you're here in, you know, you've got people that are probably pointing fingers.

Speaker 7 And and that's why the idea of it being a redacted document is what it is, because I can't have this name out there.

Speaker 7 That's why the reputation thing is what it is, because you've seen the videos of the superstars in the Yankees dugout, you know, eyeballing pieces of paper and stuff.

Speaker 7 And you can say what it is, you might have an opinion that it's something else, but those are all things that get that, you know, get that rumor mill churning now that this comes out.

Speaker 7 And the Yankees are like, nothing to see here, but please, God, if you open it, just set it on fire.

Speaker 1 Don't read it.

Speaker 5 I just love anytime the word redacted gets involved in a conversation, it makes it sound like a fucking like a spy novel.

Speaker 1 Wait, so, so, so, Dallas, you're saying to me that

Speaker 1 all this stuff that the Yankee fans have been throwing out there about how the Astros cheated them out of a World Series, they're looking pretty stupid today.

Speaker 7 Uh, you know, there was

Speaker 7 conversation about bite your tongue, yeah, Just hold on.

Speaker 1 I remember Jared telling me that and Jared Karavison

Speaker 1 and I got nervous because I was like, shit, did the Cubs do something?

Speaker 1 And he was like, I don't know anything, but just don't, if you're a fan and you're getting in front of this, just be careful because it could all come back at you.

Speaker 7 And again, not, you know, we're not pointing any sorts of fingers here.

Speaker 7 And if you know anything about what just happened, you know, with Alex Cora and the interview that he just did, you know, as he said, like this wasn't a one-man operation or a two-man operation here.

Speaker 7 And that's not throwing anybody under the bus, but that's just, that's doing what I think he has the right to do, which is say, look, man, if you want to just come down on me, that's fine, but know this.

Speaker 7 You could have several other landing spots to come down on because it wasn't just me.

Speaker 5 Be careful what rocks you turn over. You might not like what you find underneath.

Speaker 1 I like that. You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 5 I said something about how the solution should just be pay all the players 100% of the money except for the Astros and pay them $0.

Speaker 5 And that would be a good compromise I think most people would agree on.

Speaker 5 And then I started to catch all these strays the next day online because people assumed that because I tweeted that, that I must be a Yankees fan.

Speaker 5 So Yankees fans are having their chickens are about to come home to roost on this.

Speaker 1 I guess the most important question, though, what do we do? Like, I've been giving out a lot of pinstripes. Should I?

Speaker 5 The Yankees should just not be allowed to wear pinstripes.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I'm nervous.

Speaker 1 All these guys that I've been giving it to, like, what am I doing now?

Speaker 7 Yeah, it's a season's worth of Rode Graze.

Speaker 1 That's what it's going to be for. A season's worth of Rode Grace.

Speaker 7 Like, yeah,

Speaker 7 if you are in a position to be handing out pinstripes,

Speaker 7 I would hold those a little closer to the vest, Mr.

Speaker 1 Cat.

Speaker 5 Well, yeah, then is Big Cat also implicated for handing out pinstripes to players that didn't earn them?

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, this is bad. It's a triple.

Speaker 1 This is bad. I'm actually going to try to find out

Speaker 1 who was the worst on the 2017 Yankees, and he just gets all the pinstripes. So he just wears like

Speaker 1 he's got like a million pinstripes. They're really thin.
He's wearing a pinstripe suit everywhere he goes.

Speaker 7 Yeah, he needs to go with the Burberry plaid print, just all the stripes, any kind of stripes. Yes.

Speaker 5 That would be great, though, if they just removed the pinstripes from the Yankees' uniforms entirely for a year.

Speaker 1 But just give it to one guy. Just one guy.

Speaker 5 I actually think that only the team that wins the World Series should be allowed to wear pinstripes next year. You really got to earn that shit.

Speaker 7 Okay.

Speaker 7 Yes, that is definitively earning your stripes.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Matt Holiday seems like... Well, he he wasn't on the Brett Gardner hit 264, and he is the ultimate pinstripe guy anyway.
So we'll just let him have them all for one season.

Speaker 7 And he also, Brett Gardner, has to shave pinstripes into his bald head.

Speaker 5 Yes.

Speaker 5 Or just tattooed. Yes.

Speaker 1 Like tiger stripes. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 7 You want to be real about these pinstripes?

Speaker 1 Some of them earn them.

Speaker 7 Some of them burn them. Mr.

Speaker 1 Gardner. There we go.

Speaker 5 You can't take away a tattoo.

Speaker 5 I have one last question for you. Your home run call, your signature home run call, all aboard next stop Poundtown.

Speaker 5 First of all, that's a sweet call, but I had some questions about it. So first of all,

Speaker 5 is it the Poundtown Express? Is it a train that takes you to Poundtown?

Speaker 7 So I've had to explain this to several

Speaker 7 maybe older fans. And

Speaker 1 it's Poundtown. Are you calling us old?

Speaker 7 No, no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 7 Because they had some other crazy thoughts about it, which

Speaker 7 really I was shocked shocked to hear that

Speaker 7 they had these stances on it.

Speaker 1 You're talking to fucking.

Speaker 7 But I was appalled. So I had to explain that.
No, Poundtown is just that little area that resides right beyond the Finns, right? That's where we're going. That's where that ball is going.

Speaker 7 That's where we're going.

Speaker 5 Okay, so just a home run in general. The ball lands in Poundtown.

Speaker 7 That's right.

Speaker 5 Okay, okay. Nothing to do with sex.

Speaker 1 Okay. It's a locale.

Speaker 7 No, God, this is a.

Speaker 7 Excuse me, sir. This is a ball game.

Speaker 1 My last, last question.

Speaker 1 Does Nate Diaz know that you call yourself the 209 mayor?

Speaker 7 I would believe so. I don't know.
It's public information.

Speaker 1 I don't think so. I think he wouldn't be so happy if he found out that you were walking around calling yourself the mayor of 209.

Speaker 7 No, it's a brotherhood. It's a brotherhood.
Let me just tell you this, Mr. Cat.
They don't just, speaking of stripes, they don't just hand out

Speaker 7 these stripes to anybody.

Speaker 1 Dallas is now showing us his abs, but it happens to have a 209 tattoo. But yeah, it was the abs.
You were showing us the abs. What the fuck are you doing? Are you doing P90X?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 7 What? No. What do you mean?

Speaker 1 I'm just sitting here. No, how do you have abs like that?

Speaker 5 I've never seen a guy with a beard that length have any sort of muscle definition.

Speaker 1 What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing for workout?

Speaker 7 Brandon McCarthy calls me prison jacked.

Speaker 1 Yeah, what are you doing?

Speaker 1 What's your regimen?

Speaker 7 I'm a dad, bro.

Speaker 1 That's not your dad.

Speaker 1 No. You have an eight-pack.
You're a jerk. Tell us what you're doing.
I think you are doing sterile. How much did you work out? You got to do this Dallas Braden 2.0.

Speaker 7 No, see? Look, look, PFT, there you go. You got the, there's the, there's the chariot right there.

Speaker 5 The thing is, I don't understand how you're so in shape, but you suck at the Peloton.

Speaker 7 It's because I'm, it's because I would, like I said, I weigh 175 pounds now. Like, I can't, you know, it takes like two, it takes two of me on one pedal to get it all the way around.

Speaker 1 Okay, fine. All right.
Well, you look good. It was great talking to you.
Hopefully, we see you soon. Hopefully, we have baseball.

Speaker 7 Hey, that fucking hurt my feelings. What?

Speaker 1 Can you hear me? The fact that Randy Wells got you out? No, PG. What?

Speaker 1 The Randy Wells thing should hurt your feelings.

Speaker 7 Listen, Jeff. Very aggressive.

Speaker 5 Suck it, Peloton. Well, I'm jealous.
Very angry.

Speaker 1 He gets very angry when talking about Peloton. He attacks everyone.

Speaker 5 I'm obviously upset that you have like an eight-pack and are in really good shape. So I have to.

Speaker 7 But I am extremely, I tell you what, I'm extremely bitter. I legitimately look at this leaderboard sometimes and I'm just like, female, 20.
kicking my ass. Female, 40, shitting all over me.

Speaker 7 Male, 57, shitting all. And I'm like,

Speaker 7 what happened?

Speaker 1 What went wrong?

Speaker 5 All their bikes are miscalibrated. That's all you have to tell yourself.

Speaker 1 You got an eight-pack, so you're good, dude.

Speaker 7 Miscalibrated.

Speaker 1 So that's a thing? And guess what? None of them threw a no-hitter.

Speaker 7 Fuck, that makes all of us. Nobody's perfect, though.

Speaker 1 You threw a new no-hitter. Thank you, Dallas Braden.
We appreciate it. Listen to him on Starting Nine.
He's the best. Thank you, man.

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Speaker 1 All right, let's do some segments and a quick Mount Rushmore. Send you on your way on this beautiful Monday.

Speaker 5 We're going Mount Flushmore today.

Speaker 1 Mount Flushmore, yes. A Mount Flushmore of a previous Mount Rushmore.
Actually, Hank, find our old Mount Rushmore real quick. Actually, I'll find it.
Go ahead.

Speaker 1 So, segments, first, before we do that, Hank, tell us this story. We have a hurt or injured for a video game player.
We're just a video game podcast.

Speaker 1 We're Dungeons and Dragons and a video game podcast.

Speaker 5 How awesome would it be, though? We were talking about this the other day. If

Speaker 5 after this quarantine's over, all the local comic book shops and like little fantasy shops that they have in every strip mall and mall around America, they do Dungeons and Dragons nights like once a week where people can come and play.

Speaker 5 What if just a shitload of award-winning listeners started showing up? We're trying to grow the game here.

Speaker 1 Oh, shit. All right, go ahead, Hank.

Speaker 3 So I don't exactly know which pro league this is for, but it was submitted. Like, one of these guys,

Speaker 3 it's like exactly how a sports team would

Speaker 3 announce their starting lineup, whatever. They said, this guy will be starting in place of Alex 1935 because he's out with a thumb injury.

Speaker 3 And then the kid wrote, like, the whole, he wrote a, he posted a screenshot of his notes app, and he said, this is absolutely the last thing I ever wanted to do.

Speaker 3 I tried everything I could do to play through it. The last thing I wanted to do was let my team down.
After the match, I took the decision.

Speaker 3 It was the best thing to do for the team i just couldn't play my game i'll be back as soon as i can i won't let this stop me from achieving my goal thanks to team roker for all your support so he's got pretty much a broken thumb he's got a thumb injury so i can't play video he tried to play through it he gutted it out hurt or injury it's an is that an upper body injury i guess it depends how long your arms are i think that's a injury like that's that's no different than an acl tear

Speaker 5 If you're a gamer, your thumb is your most important part of the game.

Speaker 1 I've had moments like I burned my pinky and I was like, it's the lame that I thought this was. I was like, uh-oh.
Like, is this going to affect me at all?

Speaker 5 So, did he say, is it no one? Is this a bone injury? Is it a ligament injury?

Speaker 3 Just due to a thumb injury.

Speaker 5 Just thumb. He's got a thumb.
Interesting. It also means that you can't jack off, which is that's very important to a professional gamer.

Speaker 1 Interesting. So, what happens?

Speaker 1 What do you mean? It's just a

Speaker 1 jump. Just like out.
Is there an IR? No, I don't know.

Speaker 3 Subbed out. And then when he's healthy, like any team, when you get injured, you come back.

Speaker 5 When you're healthy, he's going to get Wally Pip, though, I guarantee you. This guy,

Speaker 5 if you can't gut it through a thumb injury,

Speaker 5 I know it's serious, but I mean, this seems to me like a situation where if you can't pretend that you're not hurt, you're going to get your job taken. Yes.
It's a cutthroat business.

Speaker 1 Yes. All right.
So I just looked up our first Mount Rushmore of things that chicks dig.

Speaker 1 It was before, it's so long ago, it was before we did the actual graphic. But here were some of the things we threw out there.
Blankets. Chicks love blankets.
Cuddling.

Speaker 1 Chicks love guys that smoke and wear too much cologne.

Speaker 1 Chicks love boats and the dog snap chat filter. Yep.
So that's it. All right.
So now we're going to do things chicks.

Speaker 1 Mount Flushmore, things chicks dig. Okay?

Speaker 1 Hank, you're first in PFD than me. Is that their order? Billy, I don't trust Billy.
Okay. Do honorable mention, Billy.

Speaker 3 My first.

Speaker 1 That's a protection of yourself, Billy.

Speaker 5 Yeah, we don't want the graphic going out with your list on it because we're protecting you from getting roasted.

Speaker 1 Right. So you're just going to have your your list of things that you throw out there, okay?

Speaker 3 Things chicks don't dig, not getting texted back in a prompt amount of time.

Speaker 1 Ooh, good one. Yeah.
Good one.

Speaker 5 Are any of you psychos the kind of people that have the red

Speaker 5 where it says like what time you open up that text? No, you're not.

Speaker 1 No, no, no. I do not, but I know people, and I'm always appreciative that people have that, but I would never have it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, I love when people have it because you can tell, like, oh, they read that.

Speaker 5 But it's crazy. You're a certified psycho if you have that on there.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 5 You always got to leave a little window for lying. My first one is going to be things that chicks

Speaker 5 don't dig, right?

Speaker 1 Mal Flushmore: things the chicks dig.

Speaker 5 Okay, when a guy is under 5'8,

Speaker 5 like short.

Speaker 5 That's like the cutoff. Is under 5'8 ⁇ , they hate that.

Speaker 3 I saw a funny joke on Twitter the other day.

Speaker 1 Good, okay, big cat, you're up. Okay, what was it? No, he just.

Speaker 3 How come girls and guys that are both 5'9 not the same height? And the joke was that

Speaker 3 because the girls that are 5'9 aren't lying.

Speaker 5 That is, yeah, I like that the first eight times I saw that joke over there.

Speaker 1 That's really good.

Speaker 1 All right, I can't believe I have this one first on the board.

Speaker 1 Coming too quickly. Chicks do not like that for them? No, for a guy.
They don't like when guys come too quickly. That's big time no-no.

Speaker 5 Or spin zone, they could be like, Yeah, I'm really good, I guess.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're yeah, yeah, right. Like, you're so hot.
Yeah, you're so hot. Uh, and then, second one, also a big one, is uh, not noticing a new haircut.
Yeah. Huge.
And I can never tell.

Speaker 5 Well, to be fair, like, it's impossible to tell.

Speaker 1 Impossible.

Speaker 5 If you have long hair, like, no, the only people that ever notice, if I get a trim and get, like, the little split ends taken off the end of this, it's always girls that notice it.

Speaker 5 Guys will never notice it, nor do I expect them to. I don't even notice it afterwards.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So that one.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that one, you got it. You got to really, like, you got to set a calendar.

Speaker 1 Like, if you know that there's going to be a haircut being taken taking place, you got to set a reminder to say something.

Speaker 1 Because I could be told there's a haircut being taking place, and then that afternoon, still fuck it up.

Speaker 5 A little life hack, if you just say, Oh, is there something different about your hair? Even when there's nothing different, they'll just think

Speaker 5 he thinks that my hair looks great today. Yes, yes, your hair smells good.
Chicks love that,

Speaker 1 especially when you sniff it, too, and you don't know them.

Speaker 5 Joe Biden.

Speaker 5 So, you take two? Yeah, I did. I did two.
All right, my second one.

Speaker 1 You're too quickly in hair, not noticing haircuts.

Speaker 5 My second one is going to be the word moist.

Speaker 1 I accidentally said that. A lot of people don't like that.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I think it's mostly in my experience. Yeah, I've never met a guy who's like, you know what words I hate? Here are the words that I know that I hate, and then list them off.

Speaker 1 I think I don't hate. Well, I was gonna think, do I hate any words? Yeah, I don't think I hate any words.
Racism.

Speaker 5 Do you hate that? I like the word because it makes it easy to identify.

Speaker 1 No, I want to end it. Yeah, but you wouldn't know what to end.
I want to end it in the word. I want to end the word.

Speaker 5 So you're fine with racism existing. No, I want to have to say the word.

Speaker 1 I want to end the word and everything behind it.

Speaker 5 Pro-racism.

Speaker 1 No, everything behind it. I want to end it.

Speaker 5 Moist.

Speaker 1 Moist. Okay.

Speaker 1 Billy likes the word moist.

Speaker 3 B.O.?

Speaker 1 Mm.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 3 And then Saturdays. Parentheses because they're for the boys.

Speaker 1 Yep. Why don't we get a day? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Finally, yeah.

Speaker 1 Remember when that.

Speaker 1 Remember when Erica made Monday through Fridays are for the girls?

Speaker 1 You can have those?

Speaker 1 I agree. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Late afternoons on Sundays when you have to go back to work on Monday.

Speaker 1 Hank, B.O. though.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, girls hate that.

Speaker 5 I think guys do too.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It doesn't make it any less true.
No, but guys are like, you've been around guys that are all sweaty.

Speaker 1 I think, I think, specifically, like when a guy smells like a true guy, like it's the ball sweat smell. Girls do not like that.

Speaker 3 And the guys can get BO just from like not, like, you can just exist for a couple days and just get B.O.

Speaker 5 Well, yeah, it's called not showering.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 5 You just exist. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, I didn't do anything to deserve this B.O.

Speaker 1 I just didn't shower and played video games for 24 hours.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 5 My third one is going to be

Speaker 5 when you watch a show before them. A show that you are watching together and discussing together as it comes out.
Or if you're binging a show together and you get one ahead of them, they hate that.

Speaker 1 Yep. That's a good one.
All right. My last two,

Speaker 1 dipping. Girls hate dipping.
Hate it. Hate it.
Hate it.

Speaker 1 You could throw cigars in there, too. I feel like they don't like cigars either.

Speaker 1 And then this is a tricky one.

Speaker 1 It's even implying

Speaker 1 that someone they're in a fight with could have a good point. Yep.
So it could be a boss. It could be a co-worker.
It could be a friend. But even being like, hey, think about it this way.

Speaker 5 Uh-uh. Well, if you think about it, that's a big mistake.
Your mom's just saying she would love a grandchild.

Speaker 1 Yeah, right. Do not.
Do not. Which is fair because I also don't like that.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 5 PFD, your last pick. Okay, my last pick is going to be

Speaker 5 guys that make lists telling them what they like.

Speaker 1 Well, we're making one

Speaker 1 what they don't like.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I know, so they'll love this list.

Speaker 5 But I'm just saying they don't like if we were to make a list telling them what they should like.

Speaker 1 Man splitting. Uh-huh.
Okay.

Speaker 3 When you try and watch a show that they like and you kind of roll your eyes and laugh at how ridiculous it might be. Outer banks.

Speaker 1 You can say Outer Banks.

Speaker 3 Outer Banks, The Bachelor.

Speaker 1 White Line. Speaking of the Outer Banks, we had, did you see the huge news?

Speaker 3 No, tell me. Breaking Moose.
Tell me.

Speaker 1 Tell me.

Speaker 1 Outer Banks news.

Speaker 3 John B. Sarah Cameron dating in real life.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 Fuck yes. That is so hot.
That's awesome. Great.
Oh, fuck yes. All right.
I need all the deets on that.

Speaker 1 Should I text? That's interficial.

Speaker 3 Okay. Go comment.
Be like, hell yeah. Oh, yeah.
I'm going to do that.

Speaker 5 What is even their name? I would die for him.

Speaker 1 How would you find their names? How would you know what they

Speaker 1 were doing? Of course, his fucking name is Chase.

Speaker 5 His name is Sirius.

Speaker 1 Yes, it is.

Speaker 5 Chase Stokes? His name is Chase.

Speaker 1 Literally translates to Cats Out of the Bag.

Speaker 5 Adrenaline Junkie.

Speaker 1 I'm so happy for you guys.

Speaker 1 I'm doing it right now.

Speaker 5 Born to get stoked.

Speaker 1 Oh, Rhea's already. I see Rhea's.
Rhea's. My heart is about to burst.

Speaker 1 All right, I'm following Chase Stokes.

Speaker 1 Thrill seeker. This guy is

Speaker 1 something else. All right, and her name is Maddie in real life.

Speaker 5 I feel like these chase people are just drawn up in a lab to appeal to women age 15 to 25.

Speaker 1 Chase and Maddie is like, if you're thinking about going to the party and Chase and Maddie are there, you probably aren't invited. That's just a fact.

Speaker 5 I don't think, would you want to be invited to a party with a surplus of chases?

Speaker 1 Yes. There only needs to be.

Speaker 1 There can only be one chase

Speaker 1 of Maddie's. You're so wrong.

Speaker 5 There's only one chase at a party.

Speaker 1 That's a party that's a movie.

Speaker 1 That is the night that is a movie.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I would get annoyed if there were too many chases. No,

Speaker 1 give me all of the party. If you're like, yo, we got like six chases, four Maddies, roll through whenever, I'd be the first one there.
This place is a good one.

Speaker 1 I'd be like Michael Scott with the potato salad showing up seven hours early. I mean, like, let's party.

Speaker 3 Scott Zolak.

Speaker 1 All right. Billy.
Oh, a couple honorable mentions that I had as well.

Speaker 1 Talking about your fantasy team.

Speaker 1 Not really a big thing.

Speaker 5 Not driving mid-sized sedans.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 5 Because they fucking love pushing a Jeddah.

Speaker 3 Trying to explain the stupid drama going on for your sports podcast. That usually, that's just like a quick way to watch their attention just

Speaker 1 straight out the window. Oh, being emotionally unavailable.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 One-word answers. Yeah.

Speaker 5 One-word text replies. Uh-huh.
Right.

Speaker 1 Yeah. When

Speaker 5 their friend is showing more cleavage than they are.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Not liking their Instagram picture quickly enough.

Speaker 1 Asking why are they mad? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Why you being crazy? Oh, don't ever say the C-word. Oh, Jesus Christ.

Speaker 5 When you accidentally like your ex-girlfriend's Instagram post?

Speaker 5 By accident?

Speaker 1 By accident.

Speaker 5 When the DVR cuts out before the end of Top Chef.

Speaker 5 It's a pretty specific one. That sucks.
You don't know who's packing their knives?

Speaker 1 That sucks.

Speaker 5 That actually does really suck. It does.
Cliffhangers.

Speaker 1 Billy, what do you have?

Speaker 6 When you're playing video games and they ask you to get off and you say you're working.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I could imagine that. Okay.

Speaker 1 Anything else?

Speaker 1 When you join a blood cult?

Speaker 6 When you can't spend time with them because you're donating blood all the time.

Speaker 5 When you already have two frogs and are very much considering getting a third larger frog.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they hate that.

Speaker 5 When you try to give yourself catch-scratch fever?

Speaker 6 Chicks being my mom.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah, yeah, right, right.
We're about games.

Speaker 1 we can't have more frogs in this house when you don't take out the trash when you want to work out and they can't spot you and they say can i work out with you i was like no you can't spot me billy's billy's billy's number one when you commit mass murder in the backyard of like five raccoons no they like that because they're usually the ones saying go kill the raccoons scare me billy's number one thing the chicks don't like is when you forget mother's day

Speaker 1 when was mother's day yeah you forgot it

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 5 all right it's not not too late, though. As long as you make up Mother's Day before Father's Day happens, I think you're in the clip.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that is. Yeah, that's the deadline.

Speaker 6 What else?

Speaker 1 Sorry, you don't have to push it.

Speaker 1 We don't want to push what you got up there.

Speaker 5 When they're walking past you as you're peeing in traffic in a totally real story. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 5 When you drink too much pre-workout?

Speaker 1 Yep. Totally.

Speaker 6 And it's just super aggressive. Don't dig it.
And you're like, what's wrong?

Speaker 3 Peeing on the seat was an obvious one.

Speaker 1 Leaving the seat. Leaving the seat.

Speaker 1 Let's do this, by the way.

Speaker 1 In full fairness, let's have a special guys on chicks on Wednesday. Everyone put in things that

Speaker 1 guys hate that girls do. Yeah.
So tell us what you do

Speaker 1 that you think that, like, God, I can't believe guys hate this.

Speaker 5 When you respect them too much.

Speaker 1 Chicks only. Chicks only.

Speaker 1 They get to basically do this Mount Flushmore back to us.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 put that, and then we'll read that. And we'll also comment and tell you why you're wrong.
646.

Speaker 3 646-762-6332.

Speaker 1 That'll be fun. Real only.
Do the exact Mount Flushmore. Just back at us.
Things that you do that guys hate.

Speaker 1 Billy, one last question.

Speaker 6 Girls really hate quarantine stashes.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 5 Yeah. I wouldn't.

Speaker 1 Things yours specifically.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 All right. Let's we'll see every Wednesday.
We've got a bunch of really big guests coming up. We also have Tuesday tune-in.
We're going to go Doug's at three, stool streams, PFT.

Speaker 1 I think think PFT is gonna win PFT is going to win ping pong against Hank although it's kind of good for my brand if I keep losing and finding more and more heartbreaking ways to lose I don't think you can get more heartbreaking than the 3-1 well especially followed by a fucking 4-0 sweep yeah no you can't yeah no you can't go anywhere

Speaker 1 yeah so we got to climb back up the mountain okay and I'm basically the guy who's now predicting the world's gonna end I'm gonna keep predicting the PFT is gonna win well here's the thing I'm fucking do I'm do and I'm not bad at ping pong hank just got lucky last time because I gave him a point because I'm bad at math.

Speaker 5 Yeah. All right, see you Wednesday.
Love you guys.

Speaker 5 I'm talking away.

Speaker 5 I'm the one to say I'll stay in anyway.

Speaker 5 I won't say it's bumpy, somewhere in the way.

Speaker 5 Slowly learning life is okay.

Speaker 5 I'll make

Speaker 5 you

Speaker 5 take on

Speaker 5 I'll make

Speaker 5 you

Speaker 5 take on

Speaker 5 you.