Dallas Braden, Long Gone Summer, Mt Flushmore Of Things Chicks Dig In Honor Of The Long Ball

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On today's part of my take, we review The Long Gone Summer, the documentary of Mark McGuire and like a little piece of Sammy Sosa, and then they blamed all the steroids on Barry Bonds. We have Dallas Braden to talk about what's going on in baseball right now, the steroid era, or the end of the steroid era when he was a rookie in baseball.
We have who's back of the week and a great, great, great Mount Flushmore. It is Monday.
Who knows what day it is anymore. Oh, also, we're going to talk a little Kyrie Irving because that is an interesting story that I don't know where it's going to end up.
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All on the sun, oh no We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh, we're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Welcome to Part of My Take, presented by the Cash App Go download it right now, use code BARSTOOL You dollars for free ten dollars to aspca today is monday june 15th and the long gone summer stunk it was impressive in the fact that it was a two-hour long documentary that taught me absolutely nothing new it was i've never sat down and watched what should be like a detailed look yes at an era yes where they there were no new facts okay so it was a youtube compilation uh with some radio calls which that is nostalgia great like there was a couple moments like oh that's cool i'll any documentary that gives us a glimpse of 90s fashion, also love. But other than that, it was the Mark McGuire documentary with a small supporting role of Sammy Sosa, which was weird because Sammy was equally as electric.
Obviously, he didn't get the home run king. He won the MVP that year.
I'm a little biased. 20 home runs in fucking June.
They just passed over that. But it was, I actually think it was kind of like, you know, let me go Trey Wingo for a second.
Anchorman, when he hits the conch shell and news team assemble. They did that for this documentary.
It was just white old sports writers assemble. And it was just a fucking who's who.
If you are an an old like 60 plus white sports writer and you weren't in this documentary fucking retire dude you're done rick riley is so pissed off right now watching this costas and george will are like the greatest that is that is a jordan and pippin of of white old guy sports writers and costas almost crying about steroids. Bob Costas definitely cold called his way into that documentary.
He found out that there was a documentary that would be premiering on ESPN that was going to be heavily centered around St. Louis Cardinals baseball, and that was like the bat signal for Bob.
It was a tiny, like a 5'2 bat symbol that shot up into the sky, and Bob was like, I must be there. It was crazy.
I'm just thinking now, how could they have all those those broadcasters not have Joe Buck like he was in the documentary yeah his dad was there you know what yeah I blame Joe Buck for not uncovering he probably knew he probably like this documentary is trash I'm not trying to be one of these scrubs in this documentary Joe Buck was complacent interviewing both Sammy and Mark McGuire and didn't ask him about steroids for shame Joe Buck it is crazy though that that was i i want to watch a documentary about the steroid era of uh of baseball it's a fascinating point in time the summer of 98 saved baseball it truly did i know that that that sounds crazy but it really did like capture the attention of a nation think about this the fucking the cubs played 163 games that year they got in with the extra game and got swept by the Braves. The Cardinals were in third place.
Like, this story swept up the country, and you're talking about a third-place team. It was the biggest story, and it was so much fun to watch.
And then I watched this documentary. Maybe it's because.
It's the nostalgia factor. Well, everything we know, the summer of 98 and the whole in the steroid baseball era as like in totality, which I'll never like point a finger and be like, man, those guys, you know, I can't believe they did that because everyone was doing it.
One, you can't tell me that Barry Bonds is in a fucking Hall of Famer or Sammy Sosa is in a fucking Hall of Fam Cull. Like, all these guys should be in the Hall of Fame.
But it does change it a little bit just because you look back and you're like, wow, those numbers, like, everyone was hitting. I was going through them, and the fact that Griffey hit 56 that year, Greg Vaughn hit 50, and then in the next year, they went 65 and 63.
and then the next year, or sorry, two years later, Bonds hit 73 and Sosa hit 64. Which was the Brady Anderson year.
That, to me, will always be the funniest example. I think that was the year or two.
Yeah, Brady Anderson was in there with his fucking... 50 home runs from the leadoff spot, the sideburns, the Melrose Place sideburns.
But it wasn't just... When I say it wasn't just...
Like, it was everyone. I truly mean it was everyone.
So I went back and looked. There were nine guys in 1998 who had over 45 home runs.
There were nine guys in 2001 who had over 45 home runs. Since, like, in the last, like, ten years, it's basically been one to three guys floating.
Sometimes zero guys. Fucking, Miguel Cabrera won the home run title in 2012 with 44 home runs like those used to be monster numbers back in the day right and it's crazy it was very funny how they did pin it they didn't mention steroids until barry bonds came along and broke mcguire's record and then they're like wait that was so dirty how they did that like steroids and then here comes barry bonds i say i say let them into the Hall of Fame.
Let them all in because you can't take back the dingers. Yes.
The dingers were incredible. Barry Bonds was so good that year that he was smashing all those home runs.
They walked him, I think, twice with the bases loaded that year. That's how good he was.
Do you know how fucking insanely talented you have to be and scary of a hitter you have to be? Just go ahead and be like, hey, we'll give you one run. Yes, because you're going to hit a home run if we serve you a meatball.
It's crazy. We should do.
Maybe we'll do a Barry Bonds numbers deep dive this week to show respect after they did them so dirty. And this was like, I'm just frustrated.
I just should have been a great documentary. It really should have.
It should have been. They spent the last fucking 15 minutes talking about steroids.
That's it. They swept it on the rug so fast.
It was crazy. It was like, oh, here's this feel good stuff.
That was a documentary that if we didn't know they had done steroids, it would have played. Because it would have been like, whoa, what? The ending? But we're watching the whole first hour and 45 minutes being like, yeah, and? Well, you know what it was? The entire documentary was like a microcosm of what happened in 98 all the way until 2010, where the Andro, they brought up Andro kind of partway through, and they mentioned it, and they're like, McGuire was caught with his bottle in his life.
The Andro in the movie was the Andro in that season. Yes.
Like, they threw you off the trail for a second. They're like, yeah, there were allegations that he was- Yeah, back to back to the dingers and then let's get back to the dingers and then at the very end after you've already appreciated them we'll talk about the juice the best part in this documentary as far as my money goes was just seeing king griffey jr swing the bat that was by that was so sexy to watch like when you were a kid and king griffey jr was in his prime you would go take batting practice and you'd turn your hat backwards and your swing would instantly be as good as King Griffey Jr.'s.
The goat swing. I just, yeah, I'm just frustrated with the whole documentary because it could have been great.
How many balls? How many? On the ball scale? One and a half. Maybe I'm just frustrated because Sammy wasn't in the documentary.
And Sammy is electric. Like when he's like, yeah, God picked Sammy.
So King Griffey Jr sammy wasn't in the documentary and sammy is electric like when he's like yeah god picked sammy in the documentary yeah yeah ken griffey but like let sammy talk well also he's funny i knew hank wasn't going to like it because it wasn't heavily centered around a red sox player that's not true at all i'm a huge fan of documentaries i love especially espn documentaries i have watched them all and i enjoy good ones that was not a good one. If it was just a compilation of David Ortiz's big postseason hits, which this was for a while.
They made that one, and it's a great one. It is a great one.
It just didn't have any, like, just ask them, like, hey, you were fucking juicing. Tell us what it was like.
Tell us. I would love a documentary where they said, hey, Mark McGuire,

you hit a bunch of home runs in Oakland.

Presumably you weren't juicing yet.

What did it do for you when you started?

Well, he was pretty skinny.

When he met Jose Canseco, they started juicing.

But he hit 30 home runs as a rookie.

They were injecting each other in the ass with steroids in the open in the locker room.

They should have had some of his teammates talking about the perspective of watching him take steroids in the locker room every day. There was no, like you said, PFT, there was no new information given in that documentary.
When Ken Caminiti wrote that thing or he went on the record in Sports Illustrated, he said there are guys where you know that you're not allowed to slap him in the ass because it'll be too sore from the injection site. I'm sure that Mark McGuire was one of those guys.
The only other thing I wrote down for this documentary was I forgot that the 62nd home run for McGuire, the fucking kid, cuck Hall of Fame. I know that it's cool.
He gave it back. He passed up a million dollars.
Yeah. A million dollars.
And then I went and I Googled it. Someone wrote a story 18 years later.

This was like 2017 or whatever it may have been.

I can't do math.

Same.

But he said that giving the ball back led to several opportunities, including a face-to-face

with President Bill Clinton.

That aged well.

Well, at least it was face-to-face.

Pedophile Island with Jeffrey Epstein.

At least it was face-to-face. Yeah, that aged well.
And he also received a red minivan from Chrysler. That's pretty sweet.
Dude, those Chrysler Town and Countries, I used to have one of those. Oh, man.
The mistake was the red one. You should have got the wood grain paneling on the side.
Fuck. That's paper.
That guy, though. He just, like, I know it's the right thing to do and it's the old, like, if you found $50,000 on the ground, would you give it in? I don't know, man.
You had a fucking ball. It's still going to probably go to Cooperstown.
You could sell it to Mark McQuire. Sell it to baseball.
There was a lot of talk that summer about what are you going to do. Oh, imagine if you caught the 61st home run.
Yeah. And then somebody catches that, and they're like, oh, shit, that's not going to be the most valuable one the 62nd one where he actually breaks the record now that's the one

that you can retire off right then then they get that ball out into uh left field and you can't

retire on that one because the real valuable ball in theory would have been the last one that he hit

or 73 by bonds or 73 so basically what we're finding out is like all of the get rich quick

schemes in the 90s which were uh trying

to get like home run baseballs that would sell for a ton of money beanie babies beanie babies uh

pets.com and mcdonald's monopoly were all a sham that sucks fuck fuck our entire childhood was a

lie yeah well i'm glad i didn't get any of those things then yeah i was one of the smart ones that

didn't catch a valuable home run yes but yeah i just i don't know i'm just disappointed that's

Thank you. Yeah, well, I'm glad I didn't get any of those things then.
I was one of the smart ones that didn't catch a valuable home run. Yes.
But, yeah, I just, I don't know. I'm just disappointed.
It's rare that 30 for 30s miss, and I still love, like, I still think they should change the name. There were moments.
Oh, by the way. They've made, like, 130 for 30s.
Dude, what was the name of it? Long Gone Summer? Long Gone Summer. What was the? Sounds like a shitty Eagles song.
That was, was like the 97th 30 for 30 what what was 30 years 30 filmmakers and then kid rock we're gonna make 700 yeah he combines that with free bird yeah um what was the thought process behind splicing in modern day wrigley like into nostalgic shots it was so bizarre like that i don't understand who they didn't pick up on that when they were like there was a fucking kid in chris bryant jersey they're like but it wasn't it wasn't like oh here's today it was shot of of sammy in 98 shot of the bleachers today shot of sammy and they were showing the the shots of today as b-. In the documentary from back then.
It was crazy. You know what I was really mad about? They didn't ask Sammy about his explanation.
Because Sammy has never tested positive publicly for steroids, right? Correct. Never tested positive.
His excuse. And the cork was a show bat.
Yep. There was a show bat that he used in batting practice only.
You want to show or no? No, I do want to show. I want to see the dingers.
I'm on the record as being pro-dinger. But they didn't show when he was asked about the mysterious weight gain that he had when he got to Chicago, how he put on like 30 pounds of muscle.
Do you remember what his explanation was? Yeah, it was hot dogs. It was hot dogs.
And also he said that he had a bad wisdom tooth his whole life. And then he finally got it taken care of when he got to Chicago.
And he was able to finally eat so he put on 30 pounds of muscle in an offseason sammy is hilarious i know he is fucking sneezed and broke his back the i mean the jukebox is actually like they should do a 30 for 30 on sammy's jukebox that no one was allowed to touch and then someone smashed it and it's like the the like you know him leaving the last game of the season his last Cubs, and they still won't bring him back, which is another weird one. Just like why would you ignore a piece of your history? I think Mark McGuire is doing steroids again, by the way.
He's going to get the USC treatment. A little foreshadowing.
What? Oh, yeah, yeah. We're going to get to it.
Yeah, yeah. All right.
Other things. PFT was in a show tonight.
I was on Billions. A much better.
Yeah, much better. Yeah, a little cameo.
There's Emmy and Oscar Buzz somehow behind it. They knew what they were doing when they put me next to CeCe Sabathia, 6'7", 6'8", some websites are saying, and they had me stand in the background behind them.
It was a major Altuve Aaron Judge situation. You looked good.
You looked like an art guy. I did.
I bought those glasses specifically because they told me it was going to be at an art show. So I was like, these are my art glasses that I looked through for that.
They cut out my improv line, though, where I told Axe, I think you should pay. I said, I think you should pay for your own fucking stadiums.
Shit. Yeah, absolutely roasted them.
Come on. That never happened.
Uh-oh, it didn't. But in your head it did.
It would have been great. That's what I had planned.
Yeah. Anytime you show up to be an extra, I don't care how long.
If you have a speaking part that's been written for you, if you're one of 2,000 extras in the background, you have to have an improv line ready to go for it. So mine was going to be, if they asked, I was going to tell them, hey hey pay for your own fucking stadium bobby axelrod how long were you on set for for their for that appearance about five hours it was about five hours shout out to brian koppelman for making it happen i mean i've been watching billions since it debuted so this was like it was a pretty cool setup so uh this was the last day i think before quarantine happened so nobody was allowed to like touch hands or anything on.
It was, it was an awesome experience except for the fact that they poured me champagne. They asked me what kind of drink I wanted to have.
I said, yeah, I'll take champagne. Cause that's what people around me were getting.
And I'm not, I'm not a diva. Oh, like as your, as your, as your role in the, in the shot.
So everyone had like a drink in their hand. People get drunk on movies, TV show sets.
I just had a, I just had a champagne flute flute and so they poured it for me and then i took a sip and then i'm like oh yeah it's just water that's been dyed to look like champagne you know that that really i was it took all my acting ability to be able to act like i was holding real champagne and i bet you none of you guys knew that if you watch the episode that's such a great actor yeah such a great actor. So that was Method.
Yes. You looked, the glasses were so perfect.
You were just, you were like Soho. You were basically like guy three in every like Soho art posse.
That's exactly what I was. It was in Soho as well.
Guy who doesn't talk. Yeah, guy who doesn't talk and attends an art show and pretends to know what's going on.
Probably has a huge bag of cocaine in huge bag of cocaine in his pocket i did not have the crew i did not have that the cocaine care i showed up empty-handed like a schlub but uh when i got there they put me into the like hair and makeup room like yeah this guy doesn't need makeup and then they i guess they asked how close i was going to be to the camera all that and they looked at my hair and they were they were like, is this what you normally look like? And I was like, yeah, that's the sneakiest, mean, nice thing that anyone's ever said to me. That's really funny.
And then they just kind of ran a comb through my hair and sent me out there to go get them. That is funny.
That is funny. Yeah, it was a very funny visual.
I wish we would have been watching that and not the documentary. Yeah.
Whatever. mad i don't know i think you're you're more mad than most people are because of the sammy thing yeah that part pisses me off because why he's so electric i think that it's actually a good thing for sammy to not be closely associated with this documentary yeah i just yeah part two sammy sosa just give us an unf unfiltered Sammy.
Or just that month that he had.

Go into more detail about that.

And I thought that the best parts were just watching the home runs.

Really, the documentary was just great for those of us that lived through it.

And we were like, yeah, that was awesome.

Yeah, that home run was awesome.

Oh, I remember that home run.

That one was awesome.

Just moonshots.

But yeah, overall, I'm going to give it two balls. What I give it 1.5? I get 1.6.
Okay, so the other story we have before we get to who's back, Kyrie Irving. And other players in the NBA PA, they had a big meeting, or sorry, phone call on Friday, was it, where they discussed going back to play,

and Kyrie Irving said that they shouldn't because it would take away from Black Lives Matter

what people are pushing for right now.

The thing I don't understand, I actually,

Kyrie's statement I actually kind of agree with.

Like, his point is, if we're pushing for something to radically change,

the one thing you don't want to allow is for people to be like can we just get back to normal because like when you're back to normal it's a it's an easy way of just saying oh well like we'll deal with that later yeah you know what i mean so what he's saying i actually completely understand i think that the kairi being like a tougher messenger just because of like his you know the flat earth, the weird stuff, but, but, I just don't understand, okay, so if now's not the time, when would it be the time to go back and play? I'm fine with them saying, hey, we're not going to go back right now because we've got to focus, like Dwight Howard in a statement, focus on the community. I get it.
I get what they're saying. But this is going to take a while.
And so is it going to be next year too? When is the appropriate time? I'm fine with whatever answer, but I just don't understand. So if you make it about not wanting to distract from other more serious issues, then you're also opening the door for saying when you do come back, you're kind of saying that you're coming back because you feel like something's been accomplished.
And so then it's like, okay, well, when would that exact time be? As a self or sports fan, I would love to see some NBA playoffs. It would be amazing.
But Kyrie, he's not wrong. I hope they figure out a way to do both.
Right. Ideally.
No, he's not wrong because it is really like when you say to yourself, I just want it to be back to normal. What you're saying is I want it to be back to normal where like we just stuffed you know like the racial issues in america down in a box like be like oh we'll deal with that later yeah i i get that listen i would like to forget about everything that's going on too but a lot of people can't forget about right so that's that's what they're getting at and yeah dwight and kairi it is a pretty weird duo that's kind of like leading the charge it would be weird i wonder I wonder what would happen.
Kyrie's the vice president of the players. Okay, yeah.
He's like trying to be the voice of like, you know, if you're a player, you should be able to get your voice heard. I think a lot of people are misconstruing that where it's like, it is his literal job and role to speak out on behalf of the players.
And I think the issue that people, like the message, I understand, the messenger in Kyrie Irving, again, he can say whatever and he's right. I agree with what he's saying.
But he also has had like a string of weird, like me first things. So it's harder to like, I think I understand it, but I think the like regular fan,

like people can be like,

what the fuck is Kyrie talking? If I could play devil's advocate here,

I think that Kyrie is actually just playing devil's advocate.

I think Kyrie loves playing devil's advocate.

He does.

I feel like he loves taking kind of the,

the contrarian point of view and asking questions.

And a lot of times it makes him seem like kind of a strange guy,

but sometimes he has a point.

And I think,

I think he does have a point,

but I also think that there's probably a way that they'll figure out that's going to be kind of a meet in the middle thing where they figure out a way to play the games while simultaneously kind of keeping the discussion at the national forefront. Yeah.
I think that's eventually where we're going to end up. But yeah, Kyrie, I think more than anything, he wants that opposing point of view to be out there yeah and have it be discussed it's just that Kyrie's the string of Kyrie stories from like the last I don't know five years have all been not great uh-huh so it's weird and not again he can he the message is the message here it's just when I saw it from Kyrie I was like huh you know what this is like what would happen if it was from LeBron Kyrie, I was like, huh.
You know what this is doing?

What would happen if it was from LeBron? I think it would be a lot different. You know what this is doing? This is actually a good test in our mental strength.
If you want to be a mental alpha, sometimes you have to be able to see somebody's point of view who you disagree with about everything else that they say. Yeah.
No, it's true. So I don't know what's going to happen.
I mean, it's, it's, I hope they play, but I do.

It feels like, it's true. So I don't know what's going to happen.
I mean, I hope they play, but it feels like all the sports right now are in a weird limbo that it might just – I feel like we've gone backwards. Two weeks ago, it felt like sports were coming back.
Now I couldn't tell you what's going to happen. Yeah.
Like even college football, you saw the Houston player tested positive for coronavirus. They had to shut that down.
Like, what if that keeps happening everywhere? I'm just at the mindset that college football has proved themselves to be a sport that's just going to say full send. Well, at least the South, for sure.
Yes, we're just going to do it, and we'll figure out all the drawbacks after they happen. What would you guys say? Chances that they play the NBA season? 75%.
Okay, that seems about right. Hockey, I haven't heard anything from, even though.
No. COVID's just an upper body injury to a hockey player.
Baseball seems like it's going to be 50 games. NFL's going to power through.
College football, I don't know what's going to happen. Because college football is the big question mark in my mind, because if it's at all like a health issue, they're not getting paid.
And that's immediately thrown. Oh, yeah, MLS is going to be back.
Fucking sick. Uh-huh.
Super Rugby debuted this weekend down in New Zealand. Also sick.
Bowdoin Barrett switching teams. Oh, wow, really? Big time like LeBron James going to L.A.
type thing. Damn.
I would also, if we made Big Cat, talk like 10 minutes in the future of this podcast and say that I do have another Who's Back. Oh, okay.
Denny Hamlin. Yeah, Denny won.
Denny's back. Also, Who's Back, Slowey Slogano.
He got laughed. He got his ass laughed.
Did he really? Yep. I read one tweet about that, so maybe not.
You You gotta run around the track naked. Yeah.
Skunk. Yeah.
Okay, before we do, who's back of the week? When your home system or appliance breaks down, American Home Shield will help fix or replace the covered item, no matter its age. Visit ahs.com slash listen for 20% off any plan.
See ahs.com slash contracts for coverage details, limitations, and exclusions. Okay, who's back? Hank.
My who's back of the week is a bunch of UFC athletes who graduated like 10 years ago. Okay, yes.
Reggie Bush, OJ Mayo. I don't know about OJ Simpson, if they brought him back or not.
Probably not. But the way it was tweeted, like for a split second, I saw the OJ Mayo announcement and thought he was going to be playing this year.
Yeah. It was like, OJ Mayo has been reinstated as if he had been suspended.
I guess it's just so they could sell more merchandise because I don't really know what... Well, Reggie Bush can probably now get paid to do promotional stuff for USC.
The house is now... He can get paid to go give speeches and all that stuff that stuff it's so stupid the house is now officially paid off so therefore they can bring him back and reinstate him so yeah it's absolutely i think they can sell reggie reggie bush merchandise now they can put his face on like tickets season ticket packages yep things like that he could probably go in the locker room like you know before the game and stuff like that it's it's it's one of the dumbest penalties that happened.
And O.J. Mayo, how can they promote him? He didn't even bust.
Reggie Bush, well, he's pretty good in college. He was the highest drafted USC player, but he was a bust.
But Hank, what you're not thinking about is he's got one of the sweetest names of all time. They can just market his name.
Be like, O.J. Mayo is here, and people are like, oh, yeah, I remember that.
I just don't understand how you could ever be like, these stupid penalties where they try to erase memories. Reggie Bush is so synonymous with USC, and those USC teams were so fucking electric.
And for them to be like, hey, now we can celebrate Reggie Bush. Yeah, we all have been doing that.
Right. That's why it made no sense to me.
But it just seemed like they could just now sell Reggie Bush jerseys in the store. Yes.
He's very much back, though. OJ Mayo, career earnings, go.
Oh, actually, less than I thought. $67 million.
$45 million, yeah. Is that it? Yeah, yeah.
Fuck yeah. Yeah.
Less than I thought. I mean, he only made one contract.
Yeah, I know, but everyone gets $45 million. Honestly, that's...
Tony Snell's contract's $45 million. That's a disappointing amount of money for somebody who's that marketable.
He was a bust. Okay, and is that it? For who's back? Yeah.
Are we doing whom's back? Who's back? Whatever you want. Just USC.
No, if we're doing who's back, that's it. I have one who's back because it's who's back.
Okay. I love how they were having like Snoop Dogg on the sidelines, but they're like Reggie Bush.
No, you're still persona non grata. My who's back of the week is the Mayans.
The Mayans are back. Their calendar's back.
The end of the world is back. There was an interpretation saying that going off the Julian calendar billy just gave you like a mind blown like yes yeah well billy's obviously did i steal yours billy i didn't know i was supposed to do one okay yeah um so the julian calendar i guess is what now people are saying the minds were actually basing their december 21st 2012 prediction off of so they're saying guess what the world's going to end in like days or something.
So that we were due for this. This is the summer of fear porn.
As we've gone through the murder hornet, we've gone through the Yellowstone volcano. Pretty soon.
Next up in the wind is going to be it's going to be a summer of the shark again. We're overdue for a shark attack.
There's no people on the beaches. Yeah, but we're still going to have some shark attack.
Like I know one actually actually. Yeah, because sharks are back this summer.
Right. Sharks are more bloodthirsty than ever.
Yeah. We're due for a shark attack summer.
We already have the locusts, so we got the plagues. Cicadas.
Cicadas are coming. And I'm going to say hurricane season.
We're due for an article that's going to say experts predict the 2020 hurricane season to be five times as powerful as it is normally. Well, that's unfortunately going to happen every year for the rest of our lives.
Yeah. So the Mayans are definitely back.
So I think we have 10 days. So get that bag pack that we talked about the other day of all the shit that you want to do when you get the 10-minute notification that the world's about to end.
So their clock was just wrong. Well, the interpretation of the clock was wrong.
Their clock is the sun. Yes.
But the way that it works is over the course of the last, I don't know, 10,000 years, however long it's been since the Mayans made that prediction, we've lost like 2,000 days. My math is very off on that, but we've lost enough days where going back to December 12th of 2012, it's like that period to now you don't get this is bullshit you don't get a redo if you say that the world's gonna end you gotta fucking drink your own kool-aid and die in your fucking air monarchs you have to do that you don't get a redo the the people who decide like like the world is ending here's a cult i know the mayans weren't a cult but they decide the world is ending you don't get a redo that's a one-time thing well if you know anything about cults there's there are guys that make their entire living off of predicting every like two years and being wrong and they're like you better give me all your money and that way i can ensure that you're going to get on the spaceship that takes you to heaven but that's why they're a sham not because they're a cult like anyone could have a cult and i'll believe if if they're like hey this is when it's going, you at least have my ear.
But if you get it wrong once, you're out. I think the world's going to end January.
No, it's going to be after the Super Bowl. February 10th, 2045.
That's my prediction. Okay, you've got to die, though, if you don't get that right.
2045, how old am I going to be? I'm going to be. The Kool-Aid.
Okay,-aid okay yeah how old are you gonna be you didn't actually figure it out no i didn't it just seems like 20 45 i was carry the 20 45 seems like long enough in the future 60 where where i'll either be old enough to not care that was the fakest math ever 20 45 20 45 okay yeah with on my 80 in 2045, I'm going to go out with a prostitute and a bad batch of heroin. Boom.
All right. Whom's back? I have two, Hank, if that's okay.
That is. First is...
Congratulations. Branley Chamberlain, because he's back because he said on the golf channel that social media is a cesspool because it skews left.
I think it's just a cesspool because your name's fucking branley chambliss and you suck dude here's to explain to hank why is politics in terms of left and right oh i think i know this i think it's like back in the day where they sit yeah they right yeah they used to sit people on the left versus on the right based on what party they were in something really stupid yeah to be something really stupid like that. Yeah, boring as fuck.
Yeah, it's like, oh, they just happened, like, it probably was some fucking, like, liberal politician was super fat and had, like, the first seat was right next to the door to the left. Yeah, it was the two entrances, the extremes on either end.
Right. Oh, speaking of another who's back is Paw Patrol.
Oh, it is. Paw Patrol got canceled online, but not really canceled.
But there was talk about canceling it

because I guess the dogs...

I don't know.

You're a dad.

I'm a dad too,

but you've probably seen more Paw Patrol than you've done.

I haven't.

We're not at the ability to hold one thought

or attention for more than 15 seconds.

So they got canceled

because the dogs are police officers, I think?

Yeah.

Yeah. So they got canceled, but then they got brought back.
I was saying this on the live stream, there should be an alternate programming at the same time, Antipa, which is a radical left-wing dog cartoon show, and then they can just fight against each other. I like that.
And then we could have, yeah, just tell us all the current events. Maybe you don't have to watch CNN or Fox or anything anymore.
You can just watch that. Honestly, yes.
Just give me, yeah, have cartoons explain everything. My other who's back is mini hoops because I bought one for my son.
And he actually, his grandfather bought it for him for his birthday. So I should say that.
But it is awesome to have a mini hoop back in my life. I was putting up buckets today.
They're so awesome. Like, I feel like I'm wet on a mini hoop from couch.
Dude. You just throw it.
It always goes in. I got to say, my son can't walk yet, but he can hold himself up, and he fucking sucks at defense.
He was just hanging on the rim while I was just splashing in his face. Dude, you should cross him up.
You should put videos out of you absolutely breaking your son's ankles. Worst rim protection I've ever seen.
So I'm back, though. I'm going to start.
I'm just gonna be throwing down dunks you know just doing random fucking trick shots how high is the it's like and maybe two feet i could dunk on that yeah fuck yeah yes yeah yes you can i'm gonna get wet on that hoop yeah so uh i'm back in the mini hoop game it feels good i'm gonna buy so many mini hoops you know what i loved there's there was like two years of your life when you're the exact right height to have the the hoop that goes on top of your door frame yeah and you can dunk on it but it's not super easy to dunk on yep that felt like you were on the moon when you were able to do like a reverse dunk on that yes me and my brother used to play on like a i think we had a six foot ceiling and so the hoop was like five foot three inches and we were just like running around, like trying to just dunks only each other. Yeah.
If you don't get thrown into a radiator, I still like to touch the top of the door frame when I'm going like underneath the door. It makes me feel like I'm jamming.
Did you guys ever know a kid who had the, um, the hoop on the back of the door that was like, it had like a shoot to the, to the hamper to that was the most diabolical invention ever where they tricked everyone to do their laundry doing their laundry by by using a basketball hoop doing laundry as a game kids no it's not yeah so fucked up honestly i still would yam on that when i had a friend that had one of those and they used it i was like dude your mom is playing you bro you're such a sucker you are like you're this is 1984 you're just a robot and the man has got you they got you you are you are so lame um all right all protein bars generally taste the same but not one bars one made protein bars are actually delicious with reese's and hershey's only one reese's peanut butter lovers protein bar is made with reese's peanut butter and only one hershey's cookies and cream protein bars is made with Hershey's cookie bits while delivering 18 grams of protein and three grams of sugar. One bars are the perfect protein bar to get you through your busy day, whether you need a quick pick me up between meetings or you need some fuel to power you through your next workout.
One also has other delicious flavors like birthday cake, maple glazed donut and blueberry cobbler find all one bars at a retailer near you or on amazon.com who's back the week scary insects so now now they're trying to scare us and say there's a new mosquito-borne illness oh i saw that equine no fuck that yeah it's it's three 15 people get it a year, and only 4% of people who get stung by or bit by the mosquito with the disease get it. It's absolutely BS.
It's like 3 to 15 is a lot. I'm sorry if you do contract it, but it's not enough.
Wait, 3 to 15 people? Yeah. No, that's not a lot.
Everyone got mad at me about toxicplasmosis. No, you don't have to apologize for 3 to 15 people.
What happens if you get it? You die. 40% of people die.
Well, no, so then that's only so like 6 people die. Yeah.
At max. At least one.
Now, are there more of this illness this year? Yeah, they're saying they're just bringing it back up because- four to six to you am i correct it's only in the northeast and we had a pretty light winter i would say not too much snow so you could tell me any single year you could be like yeah we had a heavy winter we had a light winter i'd be like okay if you told me that in june i would never remember so mosquitoes are out i mean it's it's fear-mongering i hate it i'm gonna try to hunt it down on the internet because it pisses me off. But we got more rats.
So shouldn't that protect us? No, they're fighting each other. Billy, you should get the disease and beat it.
I mean... If you really want.
Then they'll name the disease after you. My immune system's pretty strong, not to brag.
Yeah, check out the whoop. Yeah, I mean, I body diseases pretty easily.
Okay, that's true. You did survive coronavirus.
I did. Yeah.
Wait, so if a mosquito bites you, they're sucking your coronavirus out of you. Then you're going to get them sick and kill them.
No, actually, berserker blood cult mosquito sucks out my antibodies. Yeah.
Then it spreads to other people. Yeah.
All right, here's what we're going to do, Billy. We're gonna take you to like The moistest swamp area In this location

He lives in a basement

Nearby

He lives in a basement

No no I moved out

I'm in a barn

Oh yeah

There's a pond next to it

Okay so what we're gonna do

Is we're gonna tie you to the tree

Next to your pond

And just let mosquitoes feast on you

And then send them out

To spread the antibodies

Gotta get my blood sugar high though

Yeah

Okay

I like that you're like

I don't do that anymore

It's like good fellas I don't shine shoes I don't shine shoes I don't live in a basement anymore I live in a barn How are the frogs doing? The frogs are thick I actually A twitch check may have dropped And I might be trying to get an African bullfrog Billy How much it's I'm gonna get 60 bucks so I'm gonna get like this 3 pound frog it was like 14.99 there's it's not small potatoes for me I'm gonna get this 3 pound frog they're huge they're African bullfrogs they're called pixie frogs on the market and they eat mice and like you know if I get yeah I use they're sick can we let it loose in here because we had a dude they're the only frog with teeth they have teeth yeah it's awesome anyway i'm okay i'm gonna get one all right let's get to our interview with dallas braden we talk a little uh long gone summer we talk a little baseball what the hell is going on and whether or not dallasen ever did steroids okay we now welcome on our good friend co-worker host of starting nine uh one time no hitter pitcher it is Dallas Braden well you gave up no hits there's a no hitter um Dallas we have a lot to talk about there's a lot of baseball news uh let's start though uh quickly with the long gone summer which we actually have not watched yet we're taping this before but you have watched yes so uh you came into the league right at the end right right at the end mitchell reports 2007 so you come in the league and credit to you by the way your first season you made sure no one suspected you doing steroids because you were one and eight with a six seven two era but the first one one the first one all right it's probably a lackluster offense i'm not going to put it on my teammates but yes yeah so but so what are your memories from the end of that era where uh did you see guys still trying to do stuff in the in the clubhouse going through like the national conscience of like hey we got to stop the steroids what was it like from a player's point of view um I mean not not specifically in in my clubhouse and if I'm being honest it's because I was a rookie and I'm around a lot of savvy vets like I'm you know heading the locker like I was not a guy who was bebopping around the clubhouse like trying to do my own thing and and anybody should i honestly spent a lot of time watching dan heron and houston street uh play street fighter and and that was pretty much like how i how i got outside of my bubble um but no like there was yeah there was a conscious effort in terms of like trying not to be labeled because you would see guys who you know may or may not have had clouds of suspicion around them and you could you could sort of feel guys by the way they were speaking to the media or you know maybe avoiding the media whatever and you you kind of knew you could you could all it was palpable like oh that's an effort to clean it up you know that's an effort to not be saddled with this any longer. Like, get me the fuck away from this list.
Right. Yeah.
And your fastball topped out at, what, 82 miles per hour? Yeah. Let's cut fastball.
Yeah. There you go.
But when you were coming up to the minor leagues, I've always heard that minor league players kind of took the steroids issue a little bit more seriously because they could find themselves in like a log jam situation where the guy ahead of them for the

major league club was very clearly or was suspected of using some sort of performance enhancing drug

and their testing wasn't as as strict as it was in the minor leagues was there ever any of that

sentiment going around like man i really i they need to clean up the big league game so that it's

a fair playing field for us down here sure you you feel that way but this is something i've always

I'm sorry. of men going around like man i really i they need to clean up the big league game so that it's a fair playing field for us down here sure you you feel that way but this is something i've always said about steroids and the decision okay it's this is a business decision and you've got to you got to you got to think about a few things here one am i good enough do i believe that i'm good enough on the other side of getting popped on the other side of the suspension? Am I already good enough for teams to overlook that and give me a chance?

Because what I had in the tank already was something that was sexy, something that appealed to them.

So if that's the case, cool decision, you know, check.

I can check that off.

Next one.

Can I handle the ridicule from outside sources?

Can I handle that mental pressure of other people telling me how big of a cheat I am, how much I suck, how terrible I am, what a ripoff and fraud, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. If I can handle that, cool.
Check that box. And then the last thing is, am I okay with being able to look the man in the mirror, look my friends, family, fans, whatever.
Can I look them in the eye and be okay with making that decision? And if at the end of the day, you can check all three of those boxes, that's a business decision, regardless of who's in front of you, regardless of who you're trying to stave off behind you. If you can check those boxes based on the penalties that are in front of these guys for making that decision, it's purely a business decision.
And I watched that unfold in my own backyard in oakland not i mean recently as a you know as a broadcaster we had an individual on our team who got popped and if you think about it it's a pure business decision that's all it is what what do you take away from the steroid era like are you firmly in the camp of let these guys in cooperstown or are you like this is a stain on the game because the craziest part i'm sure they get to it in the documentary but uh the fact that it was so open that mark maguire literally the start of this conversation is mark maguire having andro in his locker room next to his like trident gum and copenhagen it was that blatant well yeah but your dentist could have had that same bottle next to the novocaine right the fucking librarian could have had the same bottle next to whatever the hell he or she's popping behind the like anybody could have had that and that's what would the that was the early part of it was yeah like sure this dude with fucking redwoods hanging off his elbows for

forearms is taking this and it's available to like i said the librarian at the time you could go and buy this at cvs right so it's it's not like they were hiding that you know and in terms of being illegal that specifically that wasn't but then you know you dig into it in the culture and obviously We know it's not just stopping at Andro

So yeah

It was an issue

So That wasn't. But then, you know, you dig into it in the culture, and obviously we know it's not just stopping at Andro.
So, yeah, it was an issue. So do you think these guys should be in the Hall of Fame? Because it is funny looking back at the era and just how crazy the numbers were compared to where they've been, even in the juice ball era now.
Like, they still don't touch. Like, the fact that they not only crushed Roger Maris' record, but then Barry Bonds beats it a couple years later, and Sammy beats it two more times.
Like, it wasn't just like, oh, we got 62 home runs. No, they fucking blew it out of the water, and everyone was blowing it out of the water.
Well, you're talking about changing the game, right? You know what I mean? Like, changing the way the game is played. Like, three-run homers.
Like like fuck taking a, you know, bunt, excuse me. What?

That became an absolute like, no, you can't say that word.

And that was the evolution of all of this is we've got,

we got a guy in the eighth hole who's going to hit 30.

This dude's going to hit 30 pumps. Like, what do you,

what the fuck do you mean? Bunt?

We are changing everything about the game.

So do they deserve to be in the hall of fame?

In my opinion, because of what the game has evolved from where we were where we're at where we're going yes why because this is a museum that is telling the story and the history of the game all right i'll leave it up to the moms and dads the aunts and uncles grandmas and grandpas you guys go ahead and tell timmy and tammy what kind of characters they were i'll let you do that okay if that's want to do, that's your responsibility. But the Hall of Fame's responsibility is to let you know that that home run record was shat on and then shat on again and then shat on again.
That's what the Hall of Fame is there for. I've always said that they should let the guys in the Hall of Fame because there was also an advantage being gained on the pitching side of things.
So it wasn't just the hitters that were getting better, but was also it was also the pitchers from your perspective i'm interested to hear what kind of advantage could a pitcher get besides getting you know an extra five you know probably maybe five but like probably three to five miles an hour on that fastball bounce back mr commenter bounce back imagine being able to get on that peloton after banging out somewhere between 360 4c imagine Imagine being able to whip booger's ass five days in a row. No stop.
Okay, man. Bounce back.
You know what I mean? It's the ability to bounce back. And that is what it is.
It's obviously the strength advantages are there. But if your body is rebounding and repairing and healing at a rapid rate over the course of what we know to be a marathon a trudge of a of a season advantage right and you've got five days in between your work days as a starting pitcher so if you're able to rebound like day five you're probably feeling like shit this is this is like seven days off like you know i couldn't imagine being able to like work through that

like what that would feel like you would feel like a fucking like like secretariat right what about when you're when you're at the end of your career you ever think about it you ever like hey i could probably you know i've been injured i could probably help myself out a little maybe get a couple more years out of this career oh i mean dude trust me like i said that's part of the whole business decision thing but um and and for me one did i believe that i was good enough on the other side of getting popped or whatever absolutely not uh two i no man i i would hate anybody to think like oh wow like the one good day of work imagine that getting tainted like like fuck you kidding me i i have to work my ass off to not blow away in the wind and and i couldn't imagine having that put in like put into a negative light like because of the people who who helped me get to where i was like no way i know but i'll tell you what like immediately after i retired i was like yo is there a fucking steroid tree that i can grow in my backyard? Give me all of them. I just want to see, like, I want to see how big I could get, how jacked I get.
Like, I would love to do that. Right.
That'd be awesome. Yeah.
You actually should have done that. You should have retired.
And then you should have had an entire second career where you come back. And then that way, the comeback, the Dallas Braden 2.0 is separate from the original one.
So the perfect game, the no-hitter, remains untainted and unscathed as far as your legacy goes. But Dallas Braden 2.0 shows up like 235.
Yeah, hide and play in sight. Be like, I'm making a comeback and I'm doing steroids.
And people are like, ha-ha, that's funny. No, I told you guys.
When I get popped, I told what i was doing steroids so i got i had stem cell

i had stem cell therapy done right and i had prp done i had all this shit done right like at the

at the beginning of these treatments being a thing and i couldn't have that done and be public about

it because if something goes wrong or whatever then the team would be able to void my contract

they'd be able to take money away from me because if if i have that done and that's not sanctioned

Thank you. goes wrong or whatever then the team would be able to void my contract they'd be able to take money away from me because if if i have that done and that's not sanctioned and i still am unable to come back well they could say oh well it's probably because he had this unsanctioned procedure done so yep give me that money back and so i was so i was like no i can't do that so i had to wait it out i had to wait for the contract expire.
And I shit you not 48 hours after my contract expired, I was on a table at Dr. Andrew's facility, getting my fucking hip drilled into so that I could have the bone marrow taken out and spun and injected back into my shoulder.
So how does that work in terms of getting your team to approve certain treatments? Like they have a doctor who gets to say what procedures the players are allowed to have um i mean you ultimately have the say but at that point in time that was something that wasn't being approved by like as a as an actual recognizable form of therapy so that wasn't a route that was being taken and being sanctioned by major league baseball baseball, health insurance, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like I paid for that out of my own pocket.
Interesting. So yeah, Dr.
James Andrews, recurring guest of part of my take award-winning listener as well. When you got your appointment with him, you scheduled that on your own.
How do you, how long does it take? Like what, what does the waiting list look like for Dr. Andrews? Could i just hit him up and be like hey can i get some prp you specifically mr commenter your odds are pretty good yes uh like your cousin no they're gonna have to wait absolutely there's no waiting list for a guy like you there's no waiting list for a guy like me when i was athletes yeah yeah absolutely not no especially then when you're talking like because let's be real that's a feather in the cap should that shit work out you know i'm saying yeah yeah before we get back to the dallas braden interview i want to talk to you guys about a new sponsor hey what's going on there pal we saw you at the hockey game on do i know you guys i'm ryan whitney i got a drink named after me not a big deal pink whitney that's what i thought see you fellas i invented the thing you Pigeon Pink Whitney for moments and now more dallas braden um all right let's go to today let's let's let's flash forward to today and the shit show that is the owners versus the union this lost season now i'm very much fuck the owners i'm very much the the players are in every right and it feels like the owners are just stalling at this point to play the smallest amount of games that they then have to pay them prorated for and then get a playoffs and get all the TV deals and everything is there any argument at this point in time that is pro owners can you even play devil's advocate that the players are in the wrong in any way i i start and stop with doesn't it suck that somebody in the position they're in also has to take a hit yeah like they're they're billionaires and they're and what they're gonna lose is is a lot of money compared to what a player is gonna lose and so on and so forth right shit trickles downhill but but that's about where it stops and and i just always ask anybody like if if there was you or your boss position to take this hit who's gonna survive who's in a better spot to take this hit right you or your boss you or your boss that's what this is about is the boss being in a better spot to take this hit right now and i've said this from the very beginning it all starts and stops with a simple exercise that is executed every year in major league baseball it's called arbitration yeah owners don't want to pay the player what he thinks he's worth the payer wants more than what the ownership thinks they're worth we can't agree we go We go to arbitration.
So about the language in this contract that, that the owners feel empowers them to circle back to the negotiating table based on no fans being available to attend these games and the union saying, no, no, that's, that's not a thing. Well, if that's where we're at, let's figure that much out.
And then from there, we would be able to figure this entire mess out because it would not be about posturing. It would not be about throwing out an offer that's not going to be entertainable or has any sort of non-starters.
This is going to tell you, yes, owners, you can circle back and renegotiate or no owners. You signed on the dotted line, 100% proratedated so that is what you owe from that point on let's move along well that boys that hasn't happened so that's why we're having this back and forth back and forth and it's just a fucking pissing contest and it's it's horrible the game is cannibalizing itself right now i feel like the owners are just trying to put as many public offers out there as possible just so that they can have the optics of, oh, the players immediately rejected another one.
But the reality is they're not making any concessions, really. They're just, in fact, it's more to their advantage to play fewer games as this drags on because they have to pay their employees, you know, not just the players, but they have to pay, you know, the people that work in the stadium, security, all that stuff, that's less money out of their pocket.
So the more they keep this dragged on making offers that are untenable from the players point of view and getting out in the press and having fucking Ken Rosenthal and Jeff Passan or Passan, whatever his name is, say like, oh, the players just rejected another offer that puts more pressure on the players. But if you look at it from a big picture perspective, that's not really fair because they're not making any concessions.
I mean, come on, man. Is it is it my job as an employee as well to help you, the employer, be able to like pay other employees? What the fuck? Right.
Like that's telling me a situation like this is the risk goes on the owner because they bought the team the team is a fucking cash cow they're making millions and millions and millions and millions of dollars with virtually no downside this is a speed bump in the road for them and about the players think about the players we have a finite we have a minute window of opportunity of earning power comparatively speaking to the billionaires who have a quite literally a lifetime until these fuckers kick rocks they will be able to churn that money maker and that is not the case for a player that is just not this that we're living in two completely different worlds and for the to be asking, look, you guys have heard it. We are privatizing gains and socializing losses.
That is what the ownership stance is all about is no, no. Hey, players, AKA employees of mine, uh, I'm going to take a hit and I've got to pay other employees.
So can you guys as you know, employees help me out, pay these other employees? What the? Right. It's it's it's the privatizing gains and socializing losses is the part that I think most people understand.
but there's still some people I see who don't fully get it that the owners will never do you

think let me ask you this do you think that this conversation would have a better chance of getting

fixed if the owners were at all forthright about the money they make and lose every single year? Which they'll never do. We all know they will never do that.
It is, they keep it from each other. Like, they don't want anyone to know because they know that they can cook the books however they want and they can basically keep making money.
So do you think, though, let's say a perfect world that the owner said, hey, here's our entire operation. Here's the entire balance sheet.
Come back to the table. Do you think the players would be open to that? That's a hell of a starting point, Mr.
Cat. That is a hell of a starting point.
Wow. Imagine that.
Imagine someone going, hey, you want to go into business together? Here's what I make. Here's what it costs.
Here's where I lose money. Here's what it all looks like.
Imagine that. Yeah.
You know what? That's a conversation I'd probably be inclined to have. Yeah.
But what's happening is, Hey, Mr. Cat want to go into business? And you're going, yeah.
How much do you shut up? Quit asking questions. Well, I just want to know like, how much are we going to shut up? Quit asking questions.
What? No, I'm probably not going to go into business with you, man.

Right.

What about this?

We're a solutions-oriented podcast.

John Taffer taught us to do that.

So what if the owners, since they're expecting you to take a hit on the downside of things,

what if the owners said, you know what?

This isn't just going to be a rainy day situation.

What if we give the players upside and attendance goes way up next year? Our attendance goes up in certain games and situations. We're going to cut the players an extra check and give you guys some buy-in on that.
Do you think that the players would have that conversation? Like a potential sliding scale in terms of, yeah. Well, it would be fair, right? If they're asking you to share some of the burden, then you should, in theory, also get some of the reward

when the risk pays off, right?

Again, a great starting point, Mr. Commenter.

A wonderful starting point.

Yes, those are all ideas that would be wonderful

to have out on the table.

But starting at, let's see the books,

well, when you throw us the Heisman,

when you're like, nope, sorry, can't do that.

Right.

We know what's going on there. That is the blatant, that is the reddest flag you could send up the flagpole.
Is it not? So what's the, if I'd ask you right now, like, you had to put your life on the line for amount of games. You could say zero amount of games for this season.
What would you say? Well, zero is not an option purely because you guys have your head wrapped around this you understand we're going to play games so that we can get the tv money but we're going to play the smallest amount possible because this is all about a business decision from the owner's perspective so we're going to play the minimum available so 50 games and that's going to be yes and you know it's going to be because they won't have to pay the players as much, but they'll be able to rake in as much as possible. So, and if 50 games, what do you imagine happens with starting rotations? Do you think that as a former starting pitcher, do you think there will be with that shortened stretch teams being like, hey, we can survive this with four guys, four arms arms and let's just throw our best guy out there as many times as possible because we know that we gotta we gotta make hay in these 50 games so now let's have some fun because we're already coming to terms with it's a 50 game season we're talking about essentially spring training dictating a world champion at the end of this.
So hopefully

all these boys have been

protecting their

chickens, feeding their chickens. And if they

have, well, then it's

going to be an absolute

sprint. And

you are going to see, like, hitters,

sorry about your 2020 stats.

That's unfortunate.

Because they are going to

suffer mightily.

Because the pitchers are always the ones who have

Thank you. Sorry about your 2020 stats.
That's going to, that's unfortunate. Right.
Because they are going to, they are going to suffer mightily because the pitchers are always the ones who have the timing advantage in the first part of the season. So starters, yes.
Like guys like Scherzer, right? The horses, even guys like straws. I mean, there's names that can go on and on.
And the DeBroms, these guys are going to be, they're going to let them eat. They're going to let them eat.
But the other guys, it's going to be sort of like that playoff push where I don't want to say the first sign of trouble, but because there's going to be a group of guys that we're going to be able to go to here, you understand how this is going to go. It's going to be sort of an all-hands-on-deck approach.
And the bleeding, it's going to be tourniquet central, Band-Aid after Band-Aid after Band-Aid. The minute we can switch up arms and match up.
That's what's going to happen. It's going to be in a weird way.
I would say the baseball is a sport that managing has slowly waned in terms of its importance. And I'm not saying that they're not important, but you know, like a lot of these teams, I mean, like the Yankees are have a game plan and they they're basically following it and Aaron Boone just kind of pulling the strings.
This will be interesting because this will probably be the hardest season for a manager and the most that managing will come into play game to game. Because like you said, you know, first sign of trouble.
We got to win this game. It's not going to be like a Sunday in the middle of July where you're like, hey, we can let's get the fuck out of cincinnati we can lose this game and recoup tomorrow teams are going to be going for it all the time oh yeah yeah pft the bullpens baby the bullpen yeah that's right is it gonna be is it gonna be 50 man roster i heard is it gonna be that uh 50 and then sliding So like 50 down to 35 or I believe 50 maybe down to 40 down to 30 to 25 like in a in like in a week or so like over the weeks okay that's to that's to you know try to get some sort of resemblance of a normal situation so that will be just you can throw any bullpen arm out there for yes these games are going to take forever yeah well oh my.
This is actually like the worst. These games are going to take like six hours.
Should we bet overs or unders? Just to still it down to that point. Unders is what he's saying.
Unders. Yes, unders.
But remember, you've got the three batter minimum this year. Yeah.
So, to your point about it taking forever, that's why I said the minute that they can match up, the minute match up the minute that they can get their arms switched up they will because you've got that three batter minimum to factor in have they do you think they'll uh i saw some scuttlebutt about possibly not having uh you know possibly having dh across the board is that still on the table for just this absolutely yes yes and and look man just by the way the the game is trending warm up to that idea as somebody who is as pure of a purist as i think i could possibly be i love the idea of being a a ball player and being a pitcher means you've got to be a ball player build your position know where you got to go be serviceable with a bat in your hand per game situation but i i always use adam wainwright as an example i don't want to miss out if i'm a cardinals fan i don't want to miss out on a on a season late in adam wainwright's storied career because he blew his achilles you know running out of the box like what the fuck come on and and no offenses are even thinking in that fashion they're not trying to engineer runs in that manner so let's let's give that other guy on the squad let's give him some some more meaning let's give him some more responsibility and let him play because that's what the fans are there to see they're see they want to see balls fly out of the yard right yeah and it's anybody else on that roster aside from wainwright's probably a better option it's gonna be a crazy finish all right so dallas you said that you uh you you think you got to be a ball player you have zero hits zero hits right oh yeah uh american league just so you know i'm You know, you said that you think you've got to be a ball player. You have zero hits? Zero hits, right? Oh, yeah.
American League, just so you know. Well, I'm looking, though.
You did have plate appearances. Yeah, I had plate appearances.
You had zero hits. Hey, do you see who my first career plate appearances were against? No.
Yeah, probably the greatest left-handed pitcher of my generation, Clayton Kershaw. Oh, sorry.
Easy excuse. Got the butt down.
Got the butt down. Sorry about it.
You know what? If I'm like a lefty that gets the shift put on me all the time, I'm spending these three months, these four months, however long it takes to get back, just working on bunting, just bunting every single day, taking reps that way. You can probably lay down, what, a thousand bunts in a day and not feel any more sore more sore the next day that's exact just just work that third baseline i've been telling so i've been telling ollie matt olsen the first baseman for the oakland a's who he's got that club in the bag he'll he'll lay a blunt down third base every every now and then that's what i was telling him bro you need to shit can bp and you need to just be wearing out the left side like just playing pepper all day while you hit 400 you want to hit 400 in this 60 game this 50 game season that's how you hit 400 bro you you got out from uh randy wells one of my favorite uh cubs pitcher no name cubs pitchers ever he was i there was a summer where i convinced myself randy wells had the stuff he got you out i'm looking at right now that was that was the game in chicago yes yes randy wells i fucking love that guy he's just like uh he looked like how'd that game turn out he looked like a totally uh like you know guy you could see literally having a beer in wrigleyville and then he was pitching and there was you know when you when your team's doing bad and you just convince yourself like random guys you're like yo that guy could be good randy wells was that guy for me.
That game, the Cubs lost. No, actually, the Cubs won.
Yeah, they did. Suck it.
Oh, man. All right, last thing I want to talk about real quick.
The Yankees, this letter. All I saw online was that John Boy was trending, and I assume that that means the Yankees also cheated.
I was moving this weekend, so I didn't just deduced from that so there's a letter yeah there's a letter what we know is there's a letter and it's about to be unsealed yes so explain what's going on Dallas yeah well there was there was a letter from the commissioner's office between the Astros between the Yankees I'm trying to think of the other club, the Red Sox, excuse me. And those were all sealed, right? Just between those two people, those two parties, those four parties, those now six parties with the Yankees and the commissions up.
And people want to know what's in them. People want to know what these are about.
And the Yankees are saying, there's nothing here. There's nothing here.
But at the same time, they're saying, there's nothing here, but we don't want it open because it could be extremely damaging to our reputation. Don't open it.
It's nothing. Don't open it.
It's cool. It's nothing to see here, but if you were to actually see it, you could hit the fan so we don't want you to see it.
There's pretty much nothing on the letter. They just would rather not you read it.
Right. That's pretty.
We've all been there. I was doing some reading on it.
It's based around a lawsuit from these two guys that were playing daily fantasy sports. And they were pissed off because they thought that they got swindled out of their money.
Like a gambler scorned. Exactly.
Like a fantasy baseball player scorned. That is some shit coming down the pipeline your way.
So they took it all the way to like, I think the second they appealed it and it got overturned on appeal or something. And so now the Yankees' letter is caught up.
So my question is, was this actually just one letter that was sent from Major League Baseball to the Yankees? Like it was one piece of paper and that's the only copy that exists what is a sealed letter i believe i believe in each one of these instances if if you believe the holy grail is the sealed letter and that that was it that was the only form of communication i believe you are wrong i believe there had to have been multiple correspondence relaying you know to, to what degree, like maybe even sort of finding out is, is this okay? Is what we're doing? Is this or, or, you know, Hey, it's been rumored that you're doing X, Y, and Z. And so then the response is no, no, we're only doing this.
We're only, and it's like, oh, okay. Well then, well, then this final letter is like, all right, this is what we know.
What's going on here? This is what we have. I think it has to be something to that effect.
And then now you're here and you've got people that are probably pointing fingers. And that's why the idea of it being a redacted document is what it is.
Because I can't have this name out there. That's why the reputation thing is what it is because you've seen the videos of the superstars in the Yankees dugout, you know, eyeballing pieces of paper and stuff.
And you can say what it is. You might have an opinion that it's something else, but, but those are all things that get that, you know, get that rumor mill churning now that this comes out and the Yankees are like, nothing to see here, but please God, if you open it, just set it on fire.
Don't read it. I just love any time the word redacted gets involved in conversation.
It makes it sound like a fucking spy novel.

Wait, so Dallas, you're saying to me that all this stuff that the Yankee fans have been throwing out there

about how the Astros cheated them out of a World Series, they're looking pretty stupid today. You know, there was conversation about bite your tongue.
Yeah. Just hold on.
I remember Jared telling me that and Jared Karabas, and I got nervous. I was like, shit, the Cubs do and he was like i don't know anything but just don't if you're a fan and you're getting in front of this just be careful because it could all come back at you and again not not you know we're not pointing any sorts of fingers here um and and if you know anything about what just happened you know with with alex cora and the interview that he just did, you know, as he said, like this wasn't a one man operation or a two man operation here.
And that's not throwing anybody under the bus, but that's just that's doing what I think he has the right to do, which is say, look, man, if you want to just come down on me, that's fine. But know this, you could have several other landing spots to come down on because it wasn't just me be careful what rocks you turn over you might not like what you find underneath i like that i said something uh about how the solution should just be pay all the players 100 of the money except for the astros and pay them zero dollars and that would be a good compromise i think most people would agree on and then i started to catch all these strays the next day online because people assumed that because I tweeted that, that I must be a Yankees fan.
So Yankees fans are having – their chickens are about to come home to roost. I guess the most important question, though, what do we do – like I've been giving out a lot of pinstripes.
Should I – The Yankees should just not be allowed to wear pinstripes. I don't know.
I'm nervous because all these guys that I've been giving it to, like, what am I doing now? Yeah, it's a season's worth of road grays. That's what it's got to be for.
A season's worth of road grays. Like, yeah, if you are in a position to be handing out pinstripes, I would hold those a little closer to the vest, Mr.
Cat. Well, yeah, Ben is Big Cat also implicated for handing out pinstripes to players that didn't earn them? Yeah, no, this is bad.
It's a ripple effect. This is bad.
I'm actually going to try to find out who was the worst on the 2017 Yankees, and he just gets all the pinstripes. So he just wears like a million pinstripes.
They're really thin. He's wearing a pinstripe suit everywhere he goes.
Yeah, he needs to go with the Bur the burberry plaid print just all the stripes any kind of stripe yes that would be great though if they just remove the pinstripes from the yankees uniforms entirely for your but just gave it to one guy well just one guy i actually think that only the team that wins the world series should be allowed to wear pinstripes next year you really gotta earn that shit okay that's that's that's yes that is definitively earning your stripes all right uh matt holiday seems like well he wasn't on there brett gardner hit 264 and he is the ultimate pinstripe guy anyway so we'll just let him have them all for one season and and he also brett gardner has to shave pinstripes into his bald head yes yes or just tattooed yes like tiger stripes Yeah, you want you want to you want to be real about these pinstripes some of them earn them some of them burn them yeah there we go you can't take away a tattoo um i have one last question for you uh your home run call your signature home run call all aboard next stop pound town uh first of all that's a sweet call but i had some questions about it it. So first of all, is it the Poundtown Express? Is it a train that takes you to Poundtown? So I've had to explain this to several, you know, maybe older fans.
Whoa. Poundtown is— Are you calling us old? No, no, no, no, no, no.
Because they had some other crazy thoughts about it which which really i was shocked to hear that they had that they had these stances on it you're talking about fucking but but i was appalled so i i had to explain that no pound town is just that little area that resides right beyond the fence right that's where we're going that's where that ball is going that's where we're going okay so just a home run in general the ball lands in pound town That's right.'re going. That's where that ball is going.
That's where we're going. Okay, so just a home run in general.
The ball lands in Pound Town. That's right.
Okay. Okay.
Nothing to do with sex. Okay.
It's a low count. No.
This is a – excuse me, sir. This is a ball game.
My last, last question. Do you – does Nate Diaz know that you call yourself the 209 mayor? I would believe so.
I don't think so. It's public information.
It's public knowledge don't i don't think so i think he wouldn't be so happy if you if he found out that you were walking around calling yourself the mayor 209 no it's it's it's a brotherhood it's a brother let me just tell you this mr cat they don't just uh speaking of stripes they don't just hand out these stripes oh any whoa Dallas is now showing us his abs, but it happens to have a 209 tattoo.

But yeah, it was the abs.

You were showing us the abs.

What the fuck are you doing?

Are you doing P90X?

No.

What?

No.

What do you mean?

I'm just sitting here.

How do you have abs like that?

I've never seen a guy with a beard that length have any sort of muscle definition.

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

What are you doing for work?

Brandon McCarthy calls me prison jacked. Yeah.
What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing for work? Brandon McCarthy

calls me prison jacked. Yeah, what are you

doing? What's your regimen?

I'm a dad, bro. That's not

your dad bod. No.
You have an eight

pack. You're a jerk.
Tell us

what you're doing. I think you are doing steroids.

I think this is Dallas Braden 2.0.

See? Look, look, PFT. There you go.

You got the, there's the

chariot right there.

The thing is, I don't understand how you're so in shape, but you suck at the Peloton.

It's because I'm, it's because I wouldn't, like I said, I weigh 175 pounds now.

Like I can't, you know, it takes like two, it takes two of me on one pedal to get it

all the way around.

Okay, fine.

All right.

Well, you look good.

It was great talking to you.

Hopefully we see you soon.

Hopefully we have baseball. Hey, that fucking hurt my feelings.
What? Can you – The fact that Randy Wells got you out? No, PFT. What? The Randy Wells thing should hurt your feelings.
Listen, Dallas – That was a very aggressive suck at Peloton. Well, I'm jealous.
PFT gets very angry when talking about Peloton. No, I'm very – He attacks everyone.
I'm obviously upset that you have like an eight-pack and are in really good shape. So I have to cut you down a little bit.

I am extremely.

I tell you what, I'm extremely bitter.

I legitimately look at this leaderboard sometimes and I'm just like female 20 kicking my ass.

Female 40 shitting all over me.

Male 57 shitting all over me.

And I'm like, what happened?

What went wrong?

All their bikes are miscalibrated.

That's what you have to tell yourself.

You got an eight pack, so you're good, dude.

Miscalibrated. So that's a thing.
And guess what? None of them threw a no-hitter. Fuck, that makes all of us.
Nobody's perfect, though. You threw a no-hitter.
Thank you, Dallas Braden. We appreciate it.
Listen to him on Starting Nine. He's the best.
Thank you, man. Hockey is on.
And no matter the city, no matter the team, no matter the game, whether it's face-off or penalty shots, regular season or playoffs, win or lose, no matter what happens, no matter where it happens, New Amsterdam Vodka is there. All right, let's do some segments in a quick Mount Rushmore.
Send you on your way on this beautiful Monday. We're going Mount Flushmore today.
Mount Flushmore, yes. A Mount Flushmore of a previous Mount Rushmore.
Actually, Hank, find our old Mount Rushmore real quick. Actually, I'll find it.
Go ahead. So do that Hank tell us this story we have a hurt or injured for a video game player we're just a video game podcast we're Dungeons and Dragons and a video game podcast how awesome would it be though we were talking about this the other day if after this quarantine's's over all the local comic book shops and uh like little fantasy shops that they have in every every strip mall and mall around america they do dungeons and dragons nights like once a week where people can come and play what if just a shitload of award-winning listeners started showing up we're trying to grow the game here oh shit we all right go ahead hank uh so i don't exactly know which pro league this is for, but it was submitted.
One of these guys, it's exactly how a sports team would announce their starting lineup or whatever. They said, this guy will be starting in place of Alex1935 because he's out with a thumb injury.
And then the kid wrote the whole, he posted a screenshot of his notes app, and he said, this is absolutely the last thing I ever wanted to do. I tried everything I could do to play through it.
The last thing I wanted to do was let my team down. After the match, I took the decision.
It was the best thing to do for the team. I just couldn't play my game.
I'll be back as soon as I can. I won't let this stop me from achieving my goal.
Thanks to Team Roker for all your support. So he's got pretty much a broken thumb.
He's got a thumb injury, so he can't play video games. He tried to play through it.
He gutted it out. Heard her injury.
Is that an upper body injury? I guess it depends how long your arms are. I think that's an injury.
That's no different than an ACL tear. If you're a gamer, your thumb is your most important part of your body.
I've had moments like I burned my pinky and I was like it's lame that I thought this. I was like uh oh.
Is this going to affect me at he say is it I'm no one is this a bone injury is it a ligament injury just due to a thumb injury just thumb he's got a thumb interesting it also means that you can't jack off which is that's very important to a professional gamer interesting so what happens what do you mean it's just is you on the just like out is there an IR what's no I What happens? Subbed out. And then when he's healthy, like any team, when you get injured, you come back when you're healthy.
He's going to get Wally Pipp, though. I guarantee you.
For sure. This guy, if you can't gut it through a thumb injury, I know it's serious, but, I mean, this seems to me like a situation where if you can't pretend that you're not hurt, you're going to get your job taken.
Yes. It's a cutthroat business.
Yes. All right.
So I just looked up our first Mount Rushmore of things that chicks dig. It was before.
It's so long ago. It was before we did the actual graphic.
But here were some of the things we threw out there. Blankets.
Chicks love blankets. Cuddling.
Chicks love guys that smoke and wear too much cologne.

Chicks love boats and the dog snap chat filter.

Yep.

So that's it.

All right. So now we're going to do things chicks.

Mount Flushmore, things chicks dig.

Okay.

Hank, you're first in PFT than me.

Is that the order?

Billy, I don't trust Billy.

Okay.

We'll do honorable mention Billy.

My first one.

That's a protection of yourself, Billy.

Yeah.

We don't want the graphic going out with your list on it.

Right.

Thank you. I don't trust Billy.
Okay. We'll do honorable mention Billy.
My first one. That's a protection of yourself, Billy.

Yeah.

We don't want the graphic going out with your list on it because we're protecting you from getting roasted.

Right.

So you're just going to have your list of things that you throw out there.

Okay.

Things chicks don't dig, not getting texted back in a prompt amount of time.

Good one.

Yeah.

Good one.

Are any of you psychos the kind of people that have the red?

Absolutely not. Where it says like what time you open up that text? No, you're not.
No, no, no. I do not, but I know people and I'm always appreciative that people have that, but I would never have it.
Yeah. I mean.
Like I love when people have it because you can tell like, oh, they read that. But it's crazy.
You're a certified psycho if you have that on there. Yes.
You always got to leave a little window for lying. My first one is going to be things that chicks don't dig, right? Mount Flushmore, things that chicks dig.
Okay. When a guy is under 5'8", like short.
That's like the cutoff is under 5'8". They hate that.
I saw a funny joke on Twitter the other day. Good.
Okay. Big Cat, you're up.
Okay. What was it? No.
It was like good story. It was like, how come girls and guys that are both 5'9 not the same height, and the joke was that because the girls that are 5'9 aren't lying.
That is good. Yeah, I liked that the first eight times I saw that joke go viral.
That's really good. All right, I can't believe I have this one first on the board.
Coming too quickly. Chicks do not like that.
For them? No't like when guys come too quickly that's big time no no um or spin zone they could be like yeah i'm really good i guess yeah you're yeah yeah right like you're you're too hot yeah you're so hot uh and then second one also a big one is uh not noticing new haircut yeah huge and. Well, to be fair, like, it's impossible to tell.
Impossible. If you have long hair.
Like, the only people that ever notice if I get a trim and get, like, the little split ends taken off the end of this, it's always girls that notice it. Guys will never notice it, nor do I expect them to.
I don't even notice it afterwards. Yeah.
So, that one, yeah, you got to really, like, you got to set a calendar. Like, If you know that there's going to be a haircut being taken place, you got to set a reminder to say something.
Because I could be told there's a haircut being taken place, and then that afternoon, still fuck it up. A little life hack, if you just say, oh, is there something different about your hair? Even when there's nothing different, they'll just think, oh, he thinks that my hair looks great today.
Yes, Yes. Your hair smells good.
Chicks love that. Especially when you sniff it too.
Mm-hmm. And you don't know them.
Joe Biden. Okay.
So you take two? Yeah, I did too. All right.
My second one- I'm too quickly and not noticing haircuts. My second one is going to be the word moist.
Mm. I accidentally said it earlier.
I think a lot of people don't like that. Yeah.
I think it's mostly, in my experience. Yeah.
I've never've never met a guy who's like you know what words I hate Here are the words that I know that I hate and then list them off I think I don't hate well I was gonna think do I hate any words Yeah I don't think I hate any words Racism Do you hate that I like the word because it makes it easy to identify No I want to end it Yeah but you wouldn't know what to end if you didn't know the word I want to end the word So you're fine with racism existing No I want to end the. Yeah, but you wouldn't know what to end if you didn't know the word.
I want to end the word. So you're fine with racism existing as long as you don't have to say the word.
No, I want to end the word and everything behind it. Pro-racism.
No, everything behind it. I want to end it.
Moist. Moist.
Okay. Billy likes the word moist.
B-O. Okay.
And then Saturdays. Parentheses because they're for the boys.
For the boys. Yep.
Why don't we get a day? Yeah. Finally, yeah.
Remember when Erica made Monday through Fridays for the girls? Like, you could have those? I agree. Yeah.
Late afternoons on Sundays when you have to go back to work on Monday. Hank, BO though.
Yeah, no, girls hate that.

I think guys do too.

Yeah.

It doesn't make any less true.

No, but guys are like,

you've been around guys that are all sweaty. I think specifically when a guy smells like a true guy,

it's the ball sweat smell.

Girls do not like that.

And guys can get BO just from not,

you can just exist for a couple days and just get BO. Well,'s called not showering right right you just exist yeah like i didn't do anything to deserve this bo i just didn't shower and played video games for 24 hours all right my third one is going to be when you watch a show before them, a show that you are watching together and discussing together as it comes out, or if you're binging a show together and you get one ahead of them, they hate that.
Yup. That's a good one.
All right. My last two, uh, dipping girls hate dipping, hate it, hate it, hate it.
Um, you could throw cigars in there too. I feel like they don't like scars either.
And then this is a tricky one. It's even implying that someone they're in a fight with could have a good point.
Yep. So it could be a boss.
It could be a coworker. It could be a friend, but even being like, Hey, think about it this way.
Uh-uh. Well, if you think about it.
That's a big mistake. Your mom's just saying she would love a grandchild.
Yeah, right. Do not.
Do not. Which is fair because I also don't like that.
Okay. PFT, your last pick.
Okay. My last pick is going to be guys that make lists telling them what they like.
Well, we're making one that they don they don't. Yeah, I know.
So they'll love this. But I'm just saying, yeah, they don't like if we were to make a list telling them what they should like.
Mansplaining. Uh huh.
OK. When you try and watch a show that they like and you kind of roll your eyes and laugh at how ridiculous it might be.
Outer Banks. You can say Outer Banks.
Outer Banks, The Bachelor. White line.
Speaking of Outer Banks, big cat, did you see the huge news? No, tell me. Breaking moves.
Tell me. Breaking moves.
Tell me. Outer Banks news.
John B., Sarah Cameron, dating in real life. Yes! Fuck yes! That is so hot.
That's awesome. Great.
Oh, fuck yes. All right, I need all the deets on that.
Should I text? It's official. Okay.
Go comment. Be like, hell yeah.
Oh, yeah. I'm going to do that right now.
I ship you guys. What is even their name? I would die for him.
How would you find their names? How would you know what they... Chase something.
Chase? Chase Stokes. Of course his fucking name is Chase.
Are you serious? Yes, it is. Chase Stokes? His name is Chase Stokes.
Literally translates to... Cat's out of the bag.
Adrenaline junkie. I'm so happy for you guys.
I'm doing it right now. Born to get stoked.
Oh, Rhea's already... I see Rhea's...
Rhea's... My heart is about to burst.
All right, I'm following Chase Stokes um thrill seeker this guy is this is something else all right uh and her name is maddie in real life i feel like these people were just drawn up in a lab to appeal to women age 15 to 25 chase and maddie is like if you're thinking about going to the party and Chase and Maddie are there, you probably aren't invited. That's just

a fact. I don't think, would you want

to be invited to a party with a surplus

of chases? Yes!

Yes, dude. What? There can only be one

chase at a party. You're so wrong.

Only one chase at a party. That's a

party that's a movie.

That is a night that is a movie.

I would get annoyed if there were too many chases.

No, give me all the party. If you're like, yo, we got like six chases, four Maddies, roll through whenever, I'd be the first one there.
This place is a chase fest. I'd be like Michael Scott with the potato salad, showing up seven hours early.
I'm like, let's party. Scott Zolak.
Yeah, all right. Billy, a couple honorable mentions that I had as well.
Talking about your fantasy team. Not really a big thing.
Not driving mid-sized sedans. Yep.
Because they fucking love pushing a Jetta. Try to explain the stupid drama going on for your sports podcast.
That usually, that's just like a quick way to watch their attention. Just straight out the window.
Oh, being emotionally unavailable. Yeah.
One word answers. Yeah.
One word text replies. Right.
Yeah. When their friend is showing more cleavage than they are.
Yeah. Yeah.
Not liking their Instagram picture quickly enough. Asking why are they mad.
Yeah. Yeah.
Why are you being crazy? Oh, don't ever say the C word. Oh, Jesus Christ.

When you accidentally like your ex-girlfriend's Instagram post.

Mm.

By accident.

By accident.

Perfect booties.

When the DVR cuts out before the end of Top Chef.

Ooh, yeah.

It's a pretty specific one.

That sucks.

You don't know who's packing their knives.

That sucks.

That actually does really suck.

It does.

Cliffhangers.

Billy, what do you have? When you're playing video games and they ask you to get off and you say you're working. Yeah, I could imagine that.
Okay. Anything else? When you join a blood cult? When you can't spend time with them because you're donating blood all the time.
When you already have two frogs and are very much considering getting a third larger frog. Yeah, they hate that.
When you try to give yourself cat scratch fever. Chicks being my mom.
Okay. Yeah, right, right.
What about games? We can't have more frogs in this house. When you don't take out the trash.
When you want to work out and they can't spot you and they say can I work out with you? I was like no, you can't spot me.'s number one thing. When you commit mass murder in the backyard of like five raccoons.

No, they like that because they're usually the ones saying go kill the raccoons.

They scare me.

Billy's number one thing the chicks don't like is when you forget Mother's Day.

When was Mother's Day?

Yeah, you forgot it.

Oh, shit.

Oh, Billy.

It's not too late, though.

As long as you make up Mother's Day before Father's Day happens, I think you're the cliff Yeah that is Yeah that's the deadline Oh what else It's alright You don't have to push it We don't want to push What you got up there When they're walking past you As you're peeing in traffic In a totally real story Yeah Yep When you drink too much Pre-workout Yep Totally And you're just super aggressive Don't And you're like, what's wrong? Peeing on the seat was an obvious one. Oh, yeah.
Leaving the seat. Leaving the seat.
Let's do this, by the way. In full fairness, let's have a special Guys on Chicks on Wednesday.
Everyone put in things that guys hate that girls do. Yeah.
So tell us what you do that you think that, like, I can't believe guys hate this. When you respect them too much.
Chicks only. Chicks only.
They get to basically do this Mount Flushmore back to us. So put that and then we'll read that.
And we'll also comment and tell you why you're wrong. 646-762-6332.
That'll be fun. Real only.
Do the exact Mount Flush more. Just back at us.
Things that you do that guys hate. Billy, one last question.
Girls really hate quarantine stashes. Okay.
Yeah, I wouldn't know. It's yours specifically.
Right. All right.
We'll see every Wednesday. We've got a bunch of really big guests coming up.

We also have Tuesday.

Tune in.

We're going to go Doug's at three stool streams.

PFT.

I think PFT is going to win.

I'm going to win ping pong against Hank.

Although it's kind of good for my brand if I keep losing and finding more and more heartbreaking ways to lose.

I don't think you can get more heartbreaking than the three one.

Well, especially followed by a fucking four nothing sweep. Yeah.
No, you can't. Yeah don't think you can get more heartbreaking than the 3-1.
Well, especially followed by a fucking 4-0 sweep.

Yeah, no, you can't.

Yeah.

No, you've reached rock bottom.

Yeah.

So we've got to climb back up the mountain.

Okay.

And I'm basically the guy who's now predicting the world's going to end.

I'm going to keep predicting the PFT's going to win.

Well, here's the thing.

I'm fucking due.

I'm due, and I'm not bad at ping pong.

Hank just got lucky last time because I gave him a point because I'm bad at math.

Yeah.

All right.

See you Wednesday.

Love you guys.

Talking away

I don't know what

to say I'll say it anyway

Today's end of my day, but the fine Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh I've always said it But I'll be so let it wait I'm slowly learning that life is okay

Don't

Don't

Don't

Don't

Don't

Don't

Don't

Don't Don't Don't Thank you. You are the things I've got to remember.
Take on me. Take on me.
Take on me. I'll take on me.
Take on me. Take on me.
Take on me. Take on me.