Judd Apatow, Kentucky Sports Radio, And Lance Armstrong Documentary

Speaker 1 Hey, pardon my take, listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
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Speaker 1 On today's part of my take,

Speaker 1 we have Judd Appetow. Interview with Judd Appetow.
Go see King of Staten Island right now in your home. And we also have the best of Kentucky Sports Radio.
We love hosting every single year.

Speaker 3 Had some great calls this week.

Speaker 1 Hall of Fame call from Dilbert.

Speaker 3 You got to listen to Main Man Dill.

Speaker 1 The Dilbert is, I saw, I was tagged on a tweet. Someone said that Dilbert called into Kentucky Sports Radio and said he's going to have to leave for a while.

Speaker 1 He's not going to jail, just wants that clear, but he's going to have to leave for a while. I love that.
Sounds like jail.

Speaker 3 You don't hear too many stories about guys just needing to lay low for a while.

Speaker 1 Well, just

Speaker 1 telling someone, like, hey, man, I'm not going to talk to you for a while, and I know what you're thinking. Jail, but that's not it.
Laying low.

Speaker 1 All right, so we have that. We have our Lance Armstrong documentary review.
What an asshole. And we have

Speaker 1 Firefest of the Week. What a what, Hank? What? It's a good, that's a good intro to the review.
What an asshole. Well, asshole Asterix.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3 He's kind of, he's an asshole, but, and then you can say he's a really talented human being, but

Speaker 1 but a lot of butts. All right.

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Speaker 1 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 Now in the street, there is violence.

Speaker 1 And then I lack the sound work to be done.

Speaker 1 No paper, and I love washing.

Speaker 1 And then I can't name all on the sound. Oh, no, we're gonna ride it down to Elite Strait Avenue.

Speaker 1 And then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're gonna rock it down to Elite Track Avenue.

Speaker 1 Welcome to part of my take presented by the Cash App. Go download it right now.
Use their Twitch channel, twitch.tv slash cash app.

Speaker 1 If you go, every time they go live, you go into the comments and leave your cash tag. You can get free money.
They're giving it away. They're giving it away.
Today is Friday, June 12th.

Speaker 1 And what are we doing here, guys? I feel like we're just in a weird waiting pattern.

Speaker 3 It feels like another Friday the 13th right now. I was shocked when it wasn't the 13th this morning.

Speaker 1 It just, we're in the waiting. We are.

Speaker 3 We are, but we're, we're excited now. Golf is back.

Speaker 1 Golf came back today. Brooks looks awesome.

Speaker 3 Brooks was out there in a tight shirt, mustache.

Speaker 1 How do you do?

Speaker 3 He was okay. He's like, I think five, six strokes back, something like that.

Speaker 1 I was talking to Brooks. His shoes were trying to get him on before the Blake of the Year.
And I was like, you know, we're going to do Blake of the Year soon.

Speaker 4 He's like, fuck, man.

Speaker 1 I got to fucking play golf. I love it.

Speaker 1 And he was cussing on the on the open mic today yeah he was like nice fucking shot he looks so good though that mustache I hope he doesn't shave it because he is one of those guys that if he committed to the mustache life he could be a mustache guy forever instead he's probably gonna he's probably gonna shave it in like a week or two sounds like he was trying to get someone else on board well he looks good he does he does the mustache works on him and he'll try it out your scale of you to billy Billy looks terrible no it's coming in temper this is quarantine status it's coming in yeah it's a playoff beard yeah for not having playoffs.

Speaker 1 When they come back, the blonde stash is just not a look that people...

Speaker 1 I mean, Larry Bird kind of retired that.

Speaker 3 I'm cosplaying.

Speaker 1 Okay, he's cosplaying. Yeah, but no, Brooks looks awesome.
I really do hope. Please keep the stash, Brooks.

Speaker 3 I hope he does too. I could also see a world where Bryson DeChambo shows up with the stash next week.
Because he's just copies everything.

Speaker 1 He's copying everything this video does. What?

Speaker 1 He put up an Instagram video about what he did during quarantine. It's like 15 minutes long.
He doesn't speak a single word.

Speaker 1 It's just a highlight video? Yes, it's got music and it's got

Speaker 1 a visual story.

Speaker 1 It is.

Speaker 3 Antonio Brown's video editor is now working to Brixon

Speaker 1 Duchamp.

Speaker 3 Bryson de Chimpanzee.

Speaker 1 Oh, gross.

Speaker 3 Yeah,

Speaker 3 he's trying to do everything that Brooks already made cool about golf, which is getting jacked up. But you're not jacked.
I guarantee you Bryson's muscles. Your name is Bryson.

Speaker 3 Bryson's muscles are like, hey, I'm way too cool to be hanging out with a guy named Bryson.

Speaker 1 Ugh, gross. All right, so yeah, Brooks is back.
He's minus two. Third, tied for 39th.
15 minutes.

Speaker 3 I root for two golfers.

Speaker 1 15 minutes, 15 minutes long.

Speaker 3 Brooks Kepka.

Speaker 1 And the course.

Speaker 3 And then, well,

Speaker 1 three golfers.

Speaker 3 Brooks, Kepka, the course, and then for a swarm of bees to attack Bryson DeCambeau.

Speaker 1 And Phil, when he's in the state of New York, it was like, foo!

Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah, that's pretty bad, too. it was weird with no, no fans, though.

Speaker 3 Like, they, all the golfers thought that they were being the first person to like hold the ball up after they made a long putt and like salute the fake fans that weren't there.

Speaker 3 They thought that was a big, funny thing.

Speaker 1 I actually thought that it was completely normal in the fact that I just didn't watch because it was golf on a Thursday.

Speaker 3 Well, they got me.

Speaker 3 Good job, NBC Gold, making me buy because I didn't want to watch the Darren Revelle simulcast. They actually, that's a great.

Speaker 1 You didn't watch it? I thought you had to.

Speaker 3 No, I didn't watch it.

Speaker 3 I watched the NBC Gold one.

Speaker 1 I thought you had to. I paid

Speaker 3 extra money.

Speaker 1 I thought the bet to opt out of.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no, no, no. No.
No, that doesn't. That was ping-pong.

Speaker 1 The bet was it ping-pong, right?

Speaker 3 Nobody reminded me of this bet. What bet?

Speaker 1 The bet. That's how you got alerted that it was happening.
Yeah. Jake was like, Jake said that you guys should bet on this.
And then you bet on it, and you lost in ping-pong.

Speaker 1 Oh, I didn't remember betting on it.

Speaker 3 When did I bet on it?

Speaker 1 On the text. Did you not? Maybe you didn't.
I don't think I. We didn't do it like that.
Yeah, we didn't. Okay, we didn't have an outside bet.

Speaker 1 How do you think you didn't find out about it, Jake?

Speaker 3 Yeah, I know Jake texted it because he was like, this is relevant to your guys.

Speaker 1 You have to watch it.

Speaker 1 You have to watch it back.

Speaker 3 It gave me a great idea, though, that the NFL or really any other sports league could use, which is just basically say that Darren Revelle... No, don't even say Darren Revelle is announcing something.

Speaker 3 Just give me a Darren Revelle-free option and I'll pay extra for that.

Speaker 3 Even if he wasn't going to be on the original cast, they could be like, hey, extra $10 a week to watch Sunday night football with no Darren Revelle on it.

Speaker 3 I'd be like, yeah, just to be safe to make sure that he doesn't show up.

Speaker 1 Like, absolutely, if every single person on planet Earth died right before the game and they needed one announcer and Darren Revelle was the last person there, they still wouldn't let him.

Speaker 3 They would not let him set foot on there. Get down for that.
I caved like a bitch to NBC Gold. I was like, yeah, absolutely.
Here's my $9.

Speaker 1 I'm not a footy fan. I've had NBC Gold for years.

Speaker 1 Gotta be. Yeah.
Gotta.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you know what?

Speaker 3 I actually did. EPL.
I did have NBC Gold now that I think about it. I didn't have the PGA Live, which is an extra add-on.

Speaker 1 That's a convenient excuse for not being a footy fan. Come on.
EPL's coming back, actually. Wait, when is he?

Speaker 3 MLS is coming back, too.

Speaker 1 Rivalry Week. Who cares? It's six weeks of rivalry week.

Speaker 1 That Galaxy guy

Speaker 1 who got fired or he got released. He's Brent Tyson.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. He breaks.

Speaker 1 No, the LA Galaxy player got cut because his wife said racist things. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 I stared at that story for like two minutes and I couldn't even muster a feeling because I was like,

Speaker 1 I don't know. Like, Emila, I don't fucking, who is this guy? I don't know.

Speaker 3 Yeah, to me, it felt like it was a player who was probably going to get cut anyways.

Speaker 3 And they're like, we're going to make a big deal out of this because we can also get a pat on the back.

Speaker 1 Like, sometimes

Speaker 1 you'll say, oh, I don't care, but you obviously care underneath. I truly, I couldn't, I, I did some soul searching.
I was like, what, what are feelings are you going through right now?

Speaker 1 And they were none. Yeah, backup midfielders, bro.

Speaker 3 Not even wife, right? It was like backup midfielders.

Speaker 1 It was his wife.

Speaker 1 It was just like, I can't, I don't have a take. I don't know.

Speaker 1 I have no feeling.

Speaker 3 I couldn't muster a feeling. But shout out to Adam Schefter for addressing another controversy in the NFL today.

Speaker 3 So the NFL announced that they were going to pay $250 million towards combating social justice over the course of the next 10 years. Now, if you're a cynic, you might say, oh, that's...

Speaker 3 $10 million less per year than what Roger Goodell makes personally.

Speaker 3 But if you're Adam Schefter, you got to spin it a little bit. It was a great spinzer.

Speaker 3 He goes, this should put down all the naysayers that don't think that the NFL is in this for the long term. So

Speaker 3 they're spreading it out over the course of 10 years, not because it's easier to pay, but rather because they want to show that they're invested in the long term.

Speaker 3 Like the Bets or the Mets are invested in Bobby Benilla for the long term. That's why they signed a 30-year contract.

Speaker 1 Verbal meme.

Speaker 1 It's Roger Goodell and it's we got him and then in parentheses racism.

Speaker 1 We got him racism, got him, got his ass.

Speaker 3 And then it's Adam Schefter quote tweeting that and saying, This is powerful.

Speaker 1 Yeah, this is this means something from the from the top of the you know, top of the pyramid chain. Um,

Speaker 1 that's I, I, I missed that. I also, I, the one thing I did see about the NFL is that the NFL is allowing them to protest.
So

Speaker 1 is the protest now to not protest? Well, I thought you can't protest. Like, if someone says, hey, go ahead and protest.
That's not a protest. That's not a protest.

Speaker 1 You have to now, you have to now stand for the National Anthem to protest the ability. Be like, no, you don't tell me what to do.
I'm going to do the opposite.

Speaker 3 Right. Like, if there was the KKK lining up to also join the protest movement, then you're like, I can't be on that side.

Speaker 1 Right. They've ruined the pro.
Like, the NFL has... That's not what a protest is when you're like, hey, guys, you're allowed to do this.
Yes.

Speaker 3 And I'm not saying that the NFL is a KKK, obviously. I'm just saying I agree with you.

Speaker 3 I've said, fuck, I said what I said. I said it.

Speaker 1 No backseason.

Speaker 3 Yeah, absolutely no backseason. It's like when Jerry Jones took a knee.
Remember that? People forget about Jerry Jones taking a knee during the national anthem back in 2016 or 17.

Speaker 3 That was so hilarious when he's looking at the camera and he actually thought in that

Speaker 3 moment, like, I just, I did it. Solved it.
Solved racism.

Speaker 1 It's over. Ray Lewis's knee still was the best.
The double knee. Yeah.
Like he was going to pass out because he was so drunk.

Speaker 3 He took one knee for the cause and then one knee for Jesus, right?

Speaker 1 That's what he said. Yeah.
Right. And he looked so sweaty and hungover.

Speaker 3 That was a, that feels like a fever dream to me, the Ray Lewis Jerry Jones taking a knee weekend. Oh, my God.
And Jerry, when he took his knee, the fucking Sky Cam was coming over.

Speaker 3 And he timed it so that he was like, winked. He winked, and there was like a little sparkle that shone on one of his teeth.

Speaker 1 Yes. Like, there he is, Jerry Jones taking a knee.

Speaker 1 The only other news I had, well, there's two other pieces.

Speaker 1 Rob Manfred just lied to America during the MLB draft and was like, I'm pretty sure the players are going to come off of their we want our salary stance. And that that was totally to appease everyone.

Speaker 1 Clearly, not going to happen.

Speaker 3 We said like 100%

Speaker 1 playing baseball. Yeah.
eBay's is like, hey, we're like the draft is happening right now. And this is probably the first time anyone's actually watched the MLB draft.

Speaker 1 So we have to say all the right things, even if we don't mean them.

Speaker 3 Well, it's also a classic case of somebody just saying something that they hope will come true.

Speaker 1 Right. And we'll work back from that.

Speaker 3 Like, I know that we want to have a season. So I'm going to say we have a season.
Therefore, it sets the expectation that we're going to get there. We're all invested in getting there.

Speaker 1 I'm surprised they didn't have like some kid pulling a birthday cake as he blows out the candles away from him after that. Like, we're going to have a season.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 It's kids slowly bending over over the course of the next like three months to pick up a lacrosse stick. Yeah.
It's like you can stop this at any time.

Speaker 1 It's the yeah, it's the Neanderthals becoming humans. Yeah.
They're slowly becoming lacrosse players.

Speaker 1 And the other thing was Paul Feinbaum has run out of take, so uh, his take now is that uh Nick Saban is running out of time.

Speaker 1 Oh, like

Speaker 3 he's on the downside of his coaching career?

Speaker 1 Well, he's 69, and he's going to be 69 this year, so he's like, yeah, he's too old.

Speaker 3 Okay, so he's got the clock on Nick Saban, despite the fact that Alabama has been pretty good the last three years.

Speaker 1 Alabama hasn't won a title since 2017, Paul. Does Paul.
He's also 64. What?

Speaker 1 Paul Feinbaum is not like 200 years ago.

Speaker 3 Or is Paul Feinbaum starting to lose it?

Speaker 1 But everyone's working on it.

Speaker 1 He's probably like losing it, and he's like, well, Saban, if I'm 64 and I'm losing it, Saban's got to be. Paul McCartney's song made 64 like the last cool age to be.

Speaker 1 Because everyone's like, oh, when I'm 64. And they do that whole thing.
So he probably still thinks he's young. He's going to have a rude awakening now.

Speaker 3 Also, it's good to just have somebody that's in the same profession of you who's five years older. That way you can never be the old guy.
Right.

Speaker 3 And so he's pointing at Nick and being like, I'm not old. This guy's old.
Right. So Nick is turning 69 and he's on the downside of his career.
The clock's running out.

Speaker 1 He hasn't won a national title since 2017

Speaker 3 in almost three years. Almost three years.
At this point.

Speaker 3 Fuck it. I like it.

Speaker 1 I'm on board for that.

Speaker 3 Let's get the takes going.

Speaker 1 It's truly a, I ran out of takes, so here it is. Let's test the, let's test, let's dip our toes in the water.
Guess what? Water still feels fine. Yeah, it feels great.
Get hopping in.

Speaker 1 All right, let's do our fire fest.

Speaker 1 Should we start with Billy?

Speaker 3 Diminish ain't played nobody, pal.

Speaker 1 Yeah, go ahead, Billy.

Speaker 3 So I was driving into the city to get to work.

Speaker 1 So, Billy's Fire Fest, for people who are listening, is just whatever happened most recently before you came to the office.

Speaker 3 No, actually, this happens last time I was here. So, I was.
It happens every time you come here.

Speaker 3 So, I had to pee because I was hydrating all the way here and I was stuck in traffic. You drank water and you just pee before you left your house.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 3 I was trying to, so they shut down a street on the way, like on the 30th by the office, but the police shut it down for obvious reasons. So there was this huge traffic jam, and I was like,

Speaker 3 I don't know.

Speaker 1 They're just shutting everything down around here. So then

Speaker 3 I was like, I need to pee. Like, I'm going to piss in my car if I don't pee.
So, like, during the traffic jam, I opened the door and like grabbed the Gatorade bottle. And I was like between the...

Speaker 1 32 ounce or 24?

Speaker 3 It was a 32 wide, wide

Speaker 3 mouth, wide mouth. Okay.

Speaker 1 Bad, though, I think they're all the same size mouth, but still.

Speaker 3 So

Speaker 3 I was sort of one foot on the asphalt, one foot in the car, looking like I was looking, like, looking like I was like looking forward at something, but using it to pee into the bottle.

Speaker 3 Okay, Billy, I got a dumb question.

Speaker 3 Why did you open up the door before you started peeing? Because I couldn't pee sitting down.

Speaker 1 Where's the fire fest?

Speaker 3 So then this lady was walking by and goes, what are you looking at? No, Billy's like, so this part's made up.

Speaker 1 No, it's.

Speaker 1 I was was like, Billy, you peed in a bottle. What do you mean you can't pee sitting down? You're in a car.

Speaker 1 I'm two alpha. He's two alpha.
How are you not sitting down in a car?

Speaker 1 He can't pee.

Speaker 1 So you can. No, I just couldn't pee by the time.

Speaker 1 So you couldn't pee? I peed in the bottle, and then someone was talking to me while I was peeing in the bottle. Inside or outside of the car? Outside of the car.

Speaker 1 All right, I'll go next. My Fire Fest is listening to that fucking story.

Speaker 3 That's pretty bad, Billy.

Speaker 1 Jesus Christ. I'm also moving, but it was that.
Actually, I'm like looking forward to my move tomorrow because I had to listen to that story and I want to get out of this room.

Speaker 3 That's also more of a chore than it is a fire fest. Yeah.
Obviously, Billy, that's the most classic lie that you could possibly tell.

Speaker 3 When you say a story that's not going anywhere and then somebody asks you what else happened,

Speaker 3 and then this chick was there.

Speaker 1 And then Denzel Washington was walking out. She was like, what's up, Billy?

Speaker 3 I was like looking like talking to Mike Billy.

Speaker 1 Yeah. All right, Hank, what's your firefest? That really was my fire fest was listening to that.

Speaker 1 My fire fest is kind of just like a vacation hangover, basically, but my girlfriend, no, well, you guys can, I think, relate to this in some way, shape, or form. My girlfriend's still on vacation.

Speaker 1 She also went before I did, and I was like, I'll clean the apartment before I go, and then like, it'll be clean when you're back.

Speaker 1 Obviously, I put off cleaning before I went until this week, and then this week I've put off cleaning until now.

Speaker 1 And now I'm like, fuck, I have to do so much cleaning, so much laundry, and I've had like three weeks, and I just waited till the last day. Question, and I would like your 100% honesty on this.

Speaker 1 Yes, have you, at any point in these, the week before or the week after done any light, subtle, or whatever shaming of Rhea for being on vacation? No, no. None?

Speaker 1 Absolutely none. None.
Zero. You haven't? Zero? None.
When are you getting back? Yeah, and be like, oh, it seems nice. Yeah, I'm like, it looks awesome.
I'm happy you're there.

Speaker 1 Like, you don't have to. Wait, say that again.
It looks awesome. I'm happy you're there.
That's sarcastic. Uh-huh.
Yep. I knew it.

Speaker 1 I knew it. I knew it.
Ain't no fun when the rabbits got the gun.

Speaker 1 Trust me, Big Cat. I am, I will never shame anyone for vacation ever.

Speaker 3 But that's such a classic dad move.

Speaker 3 Like, take your kids, like, your mom goes out of town for the weekend, or she goes on a trip or something, and then the dad's like, okay, we got 30 minutes till mom gets home.

Speaker 3 We all need to pull together and clean this mess up. So you're going to, when's she coming back?

Speaker 1 Tomorrow morning, I think.

Speaker 3 You think? You better find out. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Dude, she's going to call you when she's a block away, and you're going to be like, oh, get rid of the keg.

Speaker 1 Yeah, with risky business.

Speaker 3 You probably just have like a bunch of pizza boxes.

Speaker 1 And laundry. And laundry.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And actually, like cardboard boxes.

Speaker 1 It's kind of

Speaker 1 there's a lot of shit.

Speaker 3 Laundry's pretty easy to just lie and get your way out of and be like, oh, yeah, for some reason they haven't called me back. So the cleaners have had it for five days.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Or just start the load. Just put it in there.
And just be like, oh, shit, I forgot to turn it on. PFT, your Fire Fest.

Speaker 3 My Fire Fest. It's actually more of a shout out to the big J's out there that are covering the NBA.
It's really their Fire Fest, but it is an actual Fire Fest.

Speaker 3 So the NBA is obviously going to be doing their playoffs down in Orlando, Florida, as well as the losers bracket for all the teams that didn't make the playoffs.

Speaker 3 And they've agreed to host some journalists down there under the condition that they stay themselves quarantined in the same rooms, same type of hotels that the players are.

Speaker 3 They're not allowed to leave and come back.

Speaker 3 So we're going to get a bunch of journalists down there reporting on Orlando, Florida like it's the Socio Olympics with wolves roaming through the hallways and like every single minor thing that's bad about their hotel room.

Speaker 3 Like, oh, there was a spider in my bathtub.

Speaker 1 Every podcast going to start. I haven't seen my kids in a month.

Speaker 3 Exactly. But, I mean, to be honest with you, being stuck in Orlando sounds pretty sweet.

Speaker 1 Point of order, July and August in Orlando sounds horrendous.

Speaker 3 Very, very humid.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. It's a swamp.
They built a fucking city on a swamp and then put a fucking big golf ball in there.

Speaker 3 Yeah, you got Epcot, though.

Speaker 1 You got Disney World. That's what I'm talking about.

Speaker 3 You have the character breakfast you can go to every day. Goofy's hanging out down there.

Speaker 1 I'm also

Speaker 1 a kid that never went to Disney World. So I think there's two camps.
Like, if you never went to Disney World as a kid, you just have no feelings for it.

Speaker 1 And then if you did, you're like, oh my God, Disney World's the best.

Speaker 3 You know what they should do? They should just

Speaker 1 be like, fuck that.

Speaker 1 We're not spending our vacation at a theme park.

Speaker 3 They should send the reporter's kids down there and just have the reporter's kids be the reporters.

Speaker 1 Yeah. They would love that.

Speaker 3 Yes. Like sending kids down there?

Speaker 1 SI for kids, easy read.

Speaker 3 It'd be sweet as hell.

Speaker 1 Fire posters, too. Yes.

Speaker 3 Yes. Yo, really fire.
Faces in the crowd.

Speaker 1 The little trading cards, too, that they had. You're like, oh, this is cool.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Who was the Rick Riley of SI for Kids?

Speaker 1 I don't know. Probably Ravel.

Speaker 3 Probably a seven-year-old. Posing as a seven-year-old.

Speaker 1 This is too much Ravel. Yeah.
Still everywhere. We bought that last one.
Every now and then when he posts his

Speaker 1 TBT, the time that I

Speaker 1 complain to crazinettes for not having enough crazinettes in the box.

Speaker 3 They sent me this letter.

Speaker 1 Like, power of the letter, guys. It's a great lesson.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 God damn it. They They should just have the reporters' kids hanging out, like being babysat by the players.
Yes. And then turn that into content.
Yes.

Speaker 3 James Harden, like leaving them in a hot car outside of strip clubs.

Speaker 1 Yes. Yeah.
Ducks in there for a while. I'll be right back.
All right. Let's get to our interviews.
We got some great stuff coming up.

Speaker 1 We got Judd Appetow and then Kentucky Sports Radio Best of Before We Get to Judd.

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Speaker 1 Hey, what's up, Judd? How you doing? What's up, man?

Speaker 5 It's happening. We've made it happen using modern technology.

Speaker 1 Incredible. Did anyone tell you who we are at all?

Speaker 5 Oh, let me tell you. I do my research.
I listen to the podcast. I hear the debates.
I hear you guys talking about the last dance. I've got my own theories.

Speaker 1 I'm ready to go. Okay, great.

Speaker 3 I'm interested to like what your reaction was just initially. hearing our podcast for the first time.
Were you like, these guys are idiots that can sometimes sound smart?

Speaker 3 Or these guys are kind of smart, but they sound like morons?

Speaker 5 You know what? that's the right question that is the right question where did i land with your tone

Speaker 5 and you know for me as someone who loves podcasts i'm a big podcast fan the first thing i thought of was i would listen to this i like it

Speaker 5 and uh i'm gonna i'm gonna subscribe and I'm gonna go deep. I like it.

Speaker 5 I like a good 20-minute conversation about Michael Jordan and did he really eat the pizza or is that a lie?

Speaker 1 I'm all for this. Okay.
All right, we're going to actually throw that question in later on the interview because you buttered us up.

Speaker 1 So when people get to this point, they're going to be like, oh, that's why everything's going so well. All right.
Let me intro you, though. It is Judd Appetow, filmmaker, actor, comedian.

Speaker 1 He has a new movie coming out June 12th, The King of Staten Island. We both watched it.
I loved it. I thought it was great.
We actually just had Bill Burr on, and I told him that it passed my test of,

Speaker 1 am I still thinking about the movie the next day? And this one passed the test.

Speaker 1 My first question about this movie is what was it like doing a movie with Pete Davidson where it's kind of his, it is his life, and you have to be sensitive to his life, but also very funny, which you pulled off.

Speaker 5 Oh, I think when you do something like this, you have to be very respectful to the offering of someone's life.

Speaker 5 You know, if someone's like, I might give you the truth of what I went through and you could fictionalize it and use pieces of it and make up other stuff, you have to really care to do it well.

Speaker 5 And I, I always just think, man, if

Speaker 5 someone like Pete gives me their life as fodder and I screw it up and the movie sucks, that's awful. It'd be terrible to ruin someone's life.

Speaker 5 So I feel it both as pressure and it's like an honor to. to get it.

Speaker 5 You know, when we did Train Wreck with Amy Schumer, she talked a lot about her father having MS and that's the case in real life and how it affected her and her relationships and I was well aware that wow it's a big deal that she's willing to share that with me and I want to make a good thoughtful funny movie with it so it's both exciting and kind of scary when people will let you do that yeah I think you use the right word which is thoughtful and you've been pretty consistent over your career.

Speaker 3 You've made a lot of very funny things and you've also had a lot of things that you've produced and directed that have been a good combination of very funny, but also very thoughtful.

Speaker 3 Is there like a mix that's the golden ratio when you're going into a movie like this one, like King of Staten Island? Are you like, okay, we need it to be 30%

Speaker 3 laughs and we need it to be 70%, you know, drama and moving the story forward, making people think and maybe making people empathize with these characters? Or how do you balance that ratio?

Speaker 5 You know, for me, it's just like if you're authentic and you're credible,

Speaker 5 people are funny anyway, right? Like

Speaker 5 you could, if you're real, people are weird. Like in real life, people are just nuts.

Speaker 5 So you can, if you're telling, you know, a story about someone's life and some lesson they learned or how they got through something hard,

Speaker 5 if you take it seriously, it's still going to be funny. This brings us to the Michael Jordan eating a pizza during the NBA Finals question.
What is funnier than that, right?

Speaker 5 It's the highest stakes thing in the world.

Speaker 5 It's late at night, you're hungry, you get a pizza, you refuse to share it with any of your friends, and then you're sick all night and you have to play and you have to play your best while sick, or it's a fake story.

Speaker 5 We don't know that. Now, if it say it is a fake story, say that's the Michael Jordan cover-up for something else, which we don't know.
That's kind of hysterical too.

Speaker 5 Like, how am I going to get away with this other thing I did? Can you just tell people I ate a bad pizza? Right.

Speaker 5 So like everything in life, no matter how high the stakes are, on some level, it's still pretty fun.

Speaker 3 Right. If that's like what they settled on for being the big explanation, let's say he was hungover and he was, you know, puking his guts out.
He was not feeling well.

Speaker 3 To settle on like, just go with a pizza angle on this is also very funny as like the big like conspiracy that they cooked up behind the scenes.

Speaker 5 Well, because what is it really? It's like, I have a responsibility to my team. So if this is a movie, that's a great beginning of a story.

Speaker 5 I'm the lead guy. I have to be the best.
I yell at everyone if they don't work hard. And if they break the rules, I destroy them.

Speaker 5 And then I make a mistake, whatever the mistake turns out to be, whether it's eating a pizza or pretending to have eaten a pizza to cover up a mistake, that's high comedy stakes.

Speaker 5 And what would the end of that movie be? Having the best game of your life while almost vomiting the entire time.

Speaker 1 Yeah, getting a pizza deal, an ad deal, and then becoming the king of pizza in Utah.

Speaker 3 Yeah, papa blessed.

Speaker 1 Yes, yes.

Speaker 1 Speaking of guys at the door. Yes.
Yes, speaking of basketball and you just mentioned Trainwreck. Just how difficult was it to work with LeBron?

Speaker 5 To work with LeBron? You know, before LeBron came, I asked people, I'm like,

Speaker 5 how is it to work with LeBron? Because a lot of people, you know, who are not actors or actresses, they may not take it as seriously. They may not understand, you know, what.

Speaker 5 it means to be responsible when you're like the most important person in your world.

Speaker 5 And the truth is, and it's not interesting at all, LeBron showed up early every day, knowing his stuff, having his own comedic ideas about it.

Speaker 5 And when he was, you know, wading in between things, he never walked away and went in his trailer. He just hung out with us wall to wall during that entire shoot, which was five days.

Speaker 5 He was there Monday to Friday shooting all the scenes. And we would just laugh.
Like we would laugh that like LeBron was there. That just made us laugh.

Speaker 5 Like LeBron is here in this room with with us and he's forced to talk to us. Like we're a bunch of comedy nerds and LeBron is hanging out with a bunch of weirdos, us.

Speaker 5 And he's so polite and funny and he's kicking ass. So like to us, it was like one of the great experiences.
I could only compare it to James Taylor was in Funny People.

Speaker 5 And we needed him to sing a song in this one sequence. And just as a goof, I said, you know, I don't know what song to use.
Do you want to sing a whole bunch of songs?

Speaker 5 And I'll figure it out in editing. And then we just forced him to sing about 10 different songs for two days, only because we loved him.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 5 And we just couldn't believe he was there. And we're like crying while he's singing all these songs.
And that's what it felt like with LeBron. Like, oh, my God, thank God he's incredibly cool.

Speaker 5 And he did crush it comedically. He had a real take on why that was.
that was funny.

Speaker 3 Can you confirm that LeBron gave Amy the idea for her sketch that she used of just drinking one glass of wine out of the gallon-sized wine glass?

Speaker 5 I was not part of that conversation. But what was funny is that when LeBron did the scene where he plays basketball with Bill, one was that he threw like the craziest, like

Speaker 5 full court, you know, Swiss shot, like the kind you see in the documentary about him where he just throws it from all the way across the court and it goes in. He did do that in front of us.

Speaker 5 But also just everyone in town just showed up. You know, it was like Babe Ruth was on the set.

Speaker 5 Like children just started appearing and suddenly suddenly Chris Rock is there with his kids. And like everyone just started appearing because they just heard that LeBron was there.

Speaker 1 So, I, in reading a little bit about you, I mean, we, I've been a fan of yours for a long time and all the movies you've done, but I didn't know this fact.

Speaker 1 When you were 16, you had a radio show and you booked the guests like Jerry Seinfeld, Jay Leno,

Speaker 1 and who else?

Speaker 3 Oh, Gary Shanley.

Speaker 1 How the hell did you pull that off? one? And how nervous were you two?

Speaker 5 Well, this was like 1983, 1984. So this is before the internet.
It's before podcasts. And I was obsessed with comedy and I wanted to talk to comics.
And there really was no way to talk to them.

Speaker 5 And there were no long interviews. There was no place where you could listen to someone that you looked up to for an hour.
And

Speaker 5 my friend started interviewing bands for our high school radio stations. And so he interviewed REM and Susie and the Banshees and people like that.

Speaker 5 And then one day he's like, You should just like do a show. We'll just make up a show where you interview comics, and that'll give you an excuse to call them.

Speaker 5 And then I would call them, and I would never say that it was for a high school radio station. I always just said it was for a New York radio station.
And I would call their publicists.

Speaker 5 And the other thing you have to remember is like back in 1983, 84, you know, when Jerry Seinfeld was, you know, just getting going, no one wanted to talk to him. Like

Speaker 5 there wasn't a line of people trying to interview Jay Lano or people like that.

Speaker 5 And so when I would call, I think the PR people were happy to look like they were doing a good job getting them some publicity. And they didn't know it was complete BS.

Speaker 5 It was just a high school radio station that barely got out of the parking lot. And then I'd show up with this huge tape recorder from the AV squad.

Speaker 5 And they would always look at it and kind of laugh like, okay, now I got to do this. Like they were always a little bummed.

Speaker 1 And then I was such a nerd that I hopefully asked them questions they were interested so you invented podcasts kind of on on some level I was either trying to invent podcasting or the Charlie Rose show I was trying to invent something that's for sure that's fantastic though I mean 16 and interviewing I'm always fascinated by people because you you obviously started stand-up comedy at 17 dropped out of college did you just you just knew it you just knew that's what you wanted to do and it was one focus one mind because a lot of people kind of float through life and don't find that one thing.

Speaker 1 Were you just locked in at such an early age that you knew that was what you were going to do for life?

Speaker 5 I think so. You know, as a kid, I was obsessed with like all the talk shows when I was a kid, which was like the Merv Griffin show and Dinah Shore.
Then later, Letterman hit the air.

Speaker 5 And I loved the comics. And in my head, I thought, oh, it would be amazing.
And then Steve Martin hit. And, you know, he was the Beyoncé of comedy in 1978.
And that's when my dream was born.

Speaker 5 And I think I just pursued it really intensely. My parents got divorced and I felt very unstable.

Speaker 5 And I think my brain said, you better get a job and you better work your ass off to be able to take care of yourself.

Speaker 1 And so I think I had an irrational. At 12.

Speaker 5 At 12, yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, at 14.

Speaker 5 At 14, I had this feeling like learn to take care of yourself.

Speaker 5 And it was somewhat irrational, but it was the gasoline that made me the kind of kid who would drive an hour and a half to Poughkeepsie to interview Weird Al Yankee Lake.

Speaker 3 Was there one comic at that age? Because I feel like that age is when people really start to open their eyes to what their future interests are going to be for the rest of their life.

Speaker 3 Was there one comic that you saw that it was just like a holy shit moment? Like, this is incredible. I'm obsessed with this now.

Speaker 5 Well, Seinfeld was one. This is before the TV show.
And I used to go see him at Caroline's in New York back then, which was a small club. It was like 90 seats.

Speaker 5 And his act was just the perfect hour of stand-up. I used to see Leno and Gilbert Godfried.
Gilbert was one of my favorites.

Speaker 5 I remember seeing Pee-Wee Herman at the same club doing a version of stand-up comedy when I was a kid.

Speaker 5 I think probably just as a young Jewish guy on Long Island, there were a lot of guys who were like me, like Paul Reiser. And I thought, oh, people like me get to do this.

Speaker 5 You know, I think a lot of people, they talk about diversity of voices in film and television. And a lot of people like Kamale Nanjani would say, I never saw myself in anything.

Speaker 5 And so I didn't think it was possible to do the things that I'm trying to do when I was little. But I was the opposite.
Everyone looked like me. Gary Shanling looked like me.

Speaker 5 And I think it programmed me to think, oh, it's possible to do this. And also, I had a grandfather who produced.

Speaker 5 jazz and rock and he produced the first Janice Joplin record and he produced Ted Nugent, but he also produced Charlie Parker.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow.

Speaker 5 And he was a hustler. And I just thought, oh, I guess you just hustle.
I guess you hustle, and that's how you break in. You know, so I just started hustling from a young age.

Speaker 3 So you get your start by doing stand-up. You did a lot of writing, too.
I've always wondered about writing for Jim Carrey. I read that you did some rewrites for a few of his scripts.

Speaker 3 Is he the easiest person in the world to write for, or the most difficult person in the world to write comedy for?

Speaker 5 Well, he is the

Speaker 5 none of it is easy because he's so smart and he's so imaginative. And I'm not imaginative like Jim is.

Speaker 5 And

Speaker 5 so in that sense, it's very hard because he's like Salvador Dolly or something. And

Speaker 5 it's hard to come up with those visions for him.

Speaker 5 But Jim and I, you know, are really good friends. And when I was young, we would spend a lot of time together.
And I just think I was a good hang.

Speaker 5 You know, sometimes you're just, you're not the most creative guy in the world but you're the kind of person that gets a creative person going yeah i was a good audience i had a good sense of where if where he was going was the right direction or not i knew how to get him in a good mood and i did that for a lot of comedians when i was young i wrote for roseanne you know i did uh you know i did writing for all sorts of you know, people early in their careers.

Speaker 5 And I was a kid. I wrote for Shanling.
I wrote the Grammys when I was in my early 20s.

Speaker 5 But I always felt like, I'm smart and I'm pretty funny, but I think I'm really good at pointing them in the direction where they will think of the greatest idea ever.

Speaker 5 And a lot of my work with Jim was that. You know, he used to have me come to his house on the weekends to punch up movies like Bruce Almighty

Speaker 1 or

Speaker 1 Liar, Liar.

Speaker 5 But a lot of it was just he needed to do the rewrite. And if I showed up, he would do it.
Yeah. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Like he has an appointment with someone and i'm taking notes and asking questions and pitching a little bit but really it's to keep him organized so so speaking of being a good hang i'm sure you've been in some rooms with just i mean you've been in many rooms with many fantastic comedians um is there one guy or girl who is always kind of the alpha who makes everyone else laugh even a room that's star studded that you're amazed at like that person can command a room full of the funniest people in the world i mean, there are certain people that just know how to

Speaker 5 kill any room. I think Kevin Hart is like that.
I met Kevin Hart when he was really a young guy. I did a pilot with him in 2001 or 2002.

Speaker 5 It was a pilot that started him, Amy Poehler, and Jason Siegel and Judge Reinhold and January Jones. And it did not get picked up.
you know, 19, 18, 19 years ago. And we knew it.

Speaker 5 We're like, Kevin's the guy, you know, and we wanted that show to get picked up. And then I had him on this TV show I did called Undeclared.

Speaker 5 He did a few episodes, and he was in the 40-year-old Virgin. But he's the guy, you know, almost more than anyone that if he's just in the mood to,

Speaker 5 he could destroy any room.

Speaker 1 Yeah, interesting.

Speaker 3 He's very funny.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 One of our favorite lines from Kevin Hart is when he goes, I farted out of my heart.

Speaker 3 Did you enjoy that line also?

Speaker 5 Yo, Kevin and Romani were in the 40-year-old virgin, and there's a scene where they're like cursing each other out in the middle of the stereos tour. Yep.

Speaker 5 And, you know, in the movie, it's kind of short, but on the extended version of the movie, I let it go for like five minutes. Yeah.

Speaker 5 And I just sat behind the monitor just watching them go so hard at each other.

Speaker 5 But yeah, Kevin is amazing.

Speaker 1 Do you

Speaker 1 still proudly wear cargo shorts? Because I know you had a little dude to do when you threw out the first pitch with the, oh, you got them on right now.

Speaker 1 Did you expect that type of backlash? Oh, yeah, there they are.

Speaker 5 Did you expect Nike shorts?

Speaker 1 Those are from the people at Nike.

Speaker 1 Did you expect the backlash when you wore the cargo shorts to throw out the first pitch at the Mets game?

Speaker 5 Let me tell you, it was so hot that day.

Speaker 5 I can't even tell you how hot it was.

Speaker 1 So you decided you got extra pockets. You wanted extra pockets for how hot it was.

Speaker 5 You know, it was all about getting a little airflow going and all the undercarriage. But

Speaker 5 I never even considered wearing jeans. I'm like, I'm not going to Shea Stadium in 90 degree weather wearing jeans.
That's not happening. And I do not own any light slacks.

Speaker 5 So they asked me to throw out the first pitch, maybe like the day before or the

Speaker 5 two days before. Now, I have not thrown a hard ball since seventh, eighth grade.
I literally have not held a hard ball.

Speaker 5 I played maybe some softball over the years, but like to throw a hard ball had not happened.

Speaker 5 And when you try to practice that again after not doing it for decades, you become aware of your mechanics, right?

Speaker 5 It's not muscle memory. There's no muscle memory.
And then you're like, do you throw it over the top? Do you throw it on the side? And I'm practicing and my arm is going out so fast from practicing.

Speaker 5 And then I go and I practice in the basement of the stadium. And they say, Judd, when you're on the mound, you have to throw it higher because it's almost like an optical illusion.

Speaker 5 You'll throw it in the dirt. You just throw high.

Speaker 5 And I got out there and I threw it straight, which I was proud of because a lot of people have not thrown it straight, but it hit the dirt. And I will take that to my grave as a moment of humiliation.

Speaker 3 That's tough, but nobody remembers that you bounced it because everyone just talks about the cargo shorts. Right.

Speaker 5 Well, what they don't talk about is, first of all, Dwight Gooden was in the crowd. Okay.
And Keith Hernandez, it was a little too much, too much pressure for me.

Speaker 5 And right before I did it, I said, I want this either to be the worst anyone's ever done it, or I would like to do it perfectly. I do not want to do it in the middle.
Yes.

Speaker 5 I don't want this to be kind of neither here nor there. And I, after I did it, I'm like, you know what? I think that was in the middle.
I don't think it was the worst throw ever, but it wasn't great.

Speaker 5 But then someone sent me a photo of it. And I look like Jerry Lewis in the photo.
I look so crazy. that I said, yes, it was one of the worst ever.

Speaker 4 And then I was so happy.

Speaker 1 That's great.

Speaker 3 That's great. One thing I've always,

Speaker 3 admired about you is that you have stayed very loyal to a large group of people for a very long time in Hollywood, which I imagine can't be easy.

Speaker 3 But I have to ask, did you guys sit down and make a pact in the late 90s and say, this group right here, we're going to dominate every single comedic movie that comes out of Hollywood for the next 30 years, and we're keeping this all in-house together?

Speaker 5 You know, when I lived with Sandler, which was the early 90s, like 89, 90,

Speaker 5 we all had a sense that Adam was going to be someone who did well. And then we all knew Jim Carrey.
And so those are the two people

Speaker 5 that we thought,

Speaker 5 I think those are the people. Those are going to be the ones.
I didn't think I was really going to be the one.

Speaker 5 I was very quickly losing confidence in myself being around people that felt like other level. And then I met Stiller around that time.
I'm like, yeah, Stiller, like those three seem to be

Speaker 5 the ones and then years later I met Amy Poehler and I was like I think she's the funniest person I've ever seen in my life when she used to go on Conan and play any Richter sister

Speaker 5 but for me I loved all those freaks and geeks actors and actresses and I really had a sense that that they were great and that outside of the show they would be great and made a conscious choice to try to do something with as many of them as I could.

Speaker 5 And, you know, I'm a loyal person. So I, you know, I, but I feel like our group has gotten larger over the years.
You know, we added Eric Banna during Funny People. And, you know,

Speaker 5 every once in a while, somebody you don't expect appears in one of our things.

Speaker 3 Speaking of Freaks and Geeks,

Speaker 3 what's the sliding doors moment on that like? So if Freaks and Geeks had not been canceled, it was a critical success, but you only got one season out of it.

Speaker 3 If that stretches out five, six, seven, eight years, what is the ripple effect on just comedy in Hollywood?

Speaker 5 like what goes down well you know what we did after undeclared there's no undeclared the next thing i did i produced anchorman they they probably would have made it without me so there would have been a mutated anchorman i'm sure it still would have been great uh and then the 40-year-old virgin i mean it's a it's a domino effect of just people doing other things and maybe better things.

Speaker 5 Who knows? I mean, you say it like it's all good, but maybe all those people would have had some completely different path and turned into Daniel Day Lewis and Meryl Streep. And I held them all back.

Speaker 1 I was listening to a podcast you did with Conan, I think it was about six months ago, and you were talking about

Speaker 1 having the day, the type of day as a creative person where you felt like nothing was working and that you felt like a fraud.

Speaker 1 And it dawned on me that if Judd Appetow, one of the most accomplished guys in the comedy world, can have those days, then we're all screwed because we hope to one day have the success you have.

Speaker 1 How do you wrestle with that? Those days where you're like, I have all this success, but I don't feel like I belong and I feel like nothing else is going to work ever again.

Speaker 5 I think that, you know, sometimes, you know, just nothing comes. You know, like nothing comes that day.
You may say, I mean, I want to work on this script and try to fix it.

Speaker 5 And then you sit and like, you're not funny.

Speaker 5 And And you just have to know that that's part of it, that it's really about, you know, getting your ass in the seat every day and hoping that you have good ideas. And then sometimes you have

Speaker 5 bad moments. You know,

Speaker 5 we were testing the king of Staten Island

Speaker 5 and I couldn't seem to get the first act right. It just felt weird.
I loved all the scenes, but it just felt weird.

Speaker 5 And my wife, Leslie Mann, was like, I think, you know, the scene that you have where he's driving in the car.

Speaker 5 you know that whole sequence probably should open the movie i don't think it should happen 20 minutes and it seems like it should open the movie And I was like, you don't know what you're talking about.

Speaker 5 There's a whole reason why that's 20 minutes in the movie. And she kept saying, You're making a mistake.
It should be the opening.

Speaker 5 And then literally three months later, I still felt like the first act's weird. And I said to the editor, Can you put that driving sequence as the open? Maybe, let me just see what it is.

Speaker 5 Let me see, just so I can tell Leslie it's wrong. And then it completely changed everything.

Speaker 1 It's incredible.

Speaker 5 First act suddenly made sense. Every scene was kind of supercharged, had more depth.
You really understood who Pete was.

Speaker 5 But, you know, I had months where I was like, maybe I just screwed up this whole first act. And so you're, a lot of times you're just moving from some inspiration to hit.

Speaker 5 And sometimes it never does hit. And you just make something bad.
And other times you figure it out.

Speaker 3 I have to imagine that there have been some scripts that you've worked on that were very, very funny to write.

Speaker 3 And you felt like you had something gold and you had all these great setups, all these great jokes.

Speaker 5 And then when it translated to either television or the big screen it didn't work as well in real life as it did in your mind is there a movie that that comes to mind that you've done that kind of fits that description well a lot of the movies that like didn't do as well as other movies i like sometimes i like them more i think they're weirder and i i like you know like walk hard is a movie that made you know very little money right uh and i think it's one of the funniest ones of all the ones we did i don't know if people were dying for a movie which was a parody of walk the Line and Ray and all the music biopics.

Speaker 5 But now that the music biopics are giant and the queen movie was so big,

Speaker 5 people revisited Walk Hard and there were all these articles about how everything in the movie about Queen

Speaker 5 is already in Walk Hard, like all the conventions of what's difficult about music biopics that makes them not work a lot of the time.

Speaker 5 And they, and there's all these articles just saying, looking back, Walk Hard was awesome.

Speaker 5 So that's our favorite thing when something feels dismissed at the time and then it seems to hold up 10 years later.

Speaker 3 I would say Popstar falls into that bucket too. It wasn't like a resounding success at the time.
That's one of the funniest movies I've seen the last 20 years.

Speaker 5 Yeah, those guys, the Lonely Island guys, are unbelievable. And it is always a bummer when you don't have the box office you were hoping for.

Speaker 5 And even with that one, we had a sense like people are going to discover this on television like they did, you know, Magruber, which is another great one.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 And so you're both happy about it, but you're also kind of bummed because in a movie theater with a full house, pops are just crushed so hard.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 And it is so good. But

Speaker 5 the most important thing is, like for me, if I'm at home and I'm scrolling through the channels, am I psyched when I see that my movie is on TV or am I embarrassed?

Speaker 5 And when you're, that's all you care about. Like if you see like a movie up there and you're like, oh man, someone's probably watching that right now.

Speaker 5 They're going to have a little ride. Like that's the thing that makes you happy about it.
You just don't want to be ashamed of putting out garbage.

Speaker 5 You know, that, you know, you want something to make people happy. Even now, everyone is home most of the time.
People are really bored. People are really down.
And,

Speaker 5 you know, for me, it just makes me feel like, oh, maybe this was all worth it because I know there are people like having a rough day and they're going to put one of these things on and hopefully it gives them a...

Speaker 5 you know, a fun time for a couple hours.

Speaker 3 So what's the ripple effect from here going to be like for comedy?

Speaker 3 So like, obviously all productions are stalled right now at least the ones that are set in the united states are we just not going to have movies for the first quarter of next year i think that uh yeah it's going to be a little weird like for us they're they were like

Speaker 5 you want to wait a year to have the movie come out and i was like no i mean it's done i'm not i'm like i'm not the kind of person that could have it like sitting on the shelf for a year.

Speaker 5 And I said, you know, it's kind of about what's happening. I think it should come out now.
Let's just like get it out there. You know, this is about what people are experiencing.

Speaker 5 And, and, uh, but yeah, it's going to be a weird, there's good, definitely going to be a moment when we're like,

Speaker 5 aren't there supposed to be more movies right now?

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 5 I think there'll be like a backlog in the spring or the summer if the theaters are all open and cranking where there'll be like tons of movies.

Speaker 5 And then maybe next fall, like fall 2021, there's no movies.

Speaker 3 Yeah. Do you think that some studios just have real pieces of shit saved up that they thought were never good enough to release five years ago, six years ago, that they're like, you know what?

Speaker 3 Fuck it. Let's put it in theater.

Speaker 3 Yeah, Men in Black 19.

Speaker 5 Well, you know, the truth is there's so many great movies that people have not seen in the movie theaters.

Speaker 5 Like, you could pick 100 of the best movies of all time and just go, we're going to put Godfather 2 in the theaters on 2,000 screens, and it would be the best thing ever.

Speaker 5 So maybe they'll come up with some creative way to introduce people to all sorts of amazing movies that they never got to see.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 we have a movie.

Speaker 3 We do. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Are we going to pitch him?

Speaker 1 I don't know. I feel like we should.
We already have.

Speaker 3 We've got most of your friends that are already loosely attached to it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Adam Sandler has been loosely attached to you.

Speaker 3 We have to create roles for his wife and his kids. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Do you want to hear our movie pitch?

Speaker 5 Of course I want to hear the pitch. Let me hear it.

Speaker 1 Maybe a little more enthusiasm when you say that.

Speaker 5 I'd love to hear this pitch. Give me all you got.

Speaker 1 Okay, it's called Boner Dog.

Speaker 3 It's a dog with a boner.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 3 That's basically it. It gets lost, and then it comes back because the boner

Speaker 1 anime.

Speaker 1 And everyone, everyone it's kind of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer meets what was the other thing, meets Hansel and Gretel, meets Debbie Does Dallas.

Speaker 3 Everyone's like, Oh no, this dog's got a boner, it'll never be good for anything.

Speaker 3 And then the dog's like, Actually, I'm a very good sled dog because you can use my boner as the North Star to find our way back home when we get lost in the snow.

Speaker 1 And Adam Sandler's involved. I think we gave the role, the voice of the boners, to Will Farrell.

Speaker 3 Yeah, David Spade is involved as well. Topher Grace, yeah.

Speaker 1 Um, Zach Efron actually is a definite yes, yeah.

Speaker 3 Hard yes.

Speaker 1 Hard yes.

Speaker 1 No pun intended. I have a question.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 What if the dog gets sad and loses his boner?

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's the second act right there.

Speaker 5 Yeah, that's exactly it. This is what I would do as a producer.
Okay.

Speaker 3 Punch it up a little bit.

Speaker 5 Dig deep and figure out what is the emotion that leads to the lack of the erection. And then

Speaker 5 how does he get? the erection back.

Speaker 1 Maybe, maybe, maybe he's running through the snow and then he sees like on a tree, it's just a big box score with everyone's batting average, and he loses the boner right away because he starts reading that, like the old trick of like, let me go through a batting lineup so that I can maybe not ejaculate too quick.

Speaker 5 You know what I would say if I was producing, I would say, I like that, but...

Speaker 1 Let's come up with nine or ten other versions of why he would lose his boner.

Speaker 5 Let's really think about the psychology of why he loses the bonus.

Speaker 1 He ran the first one. He was too much whiskey.
He drank too much whiskey. They were giving away

Speaker 1 it was $1 Long Island iced teas at the local bar. Boom, boner gone.

Speaker 5 Why does he need to drink? What hurt him?

Speaker 3 Because he's upset that everyone makes fun of him for having a boner. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 5 I like that. I like that.
See, we're cracking it.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 5 Beat by beat. We crack this story.

Speaker 1 So it sounds like you're in. Well, you actually already are in.
You've tweaked the script, so we're going to put you on.

Speaker 3 Writing credit. Yeah.

Speaker 5 And we're not animated. You can't do it live action.
We do animated. We can have this in theaters by November.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Easy. Yes.
And Adam Sandler said that if he doesn't get an Oscar for Uncut Gems, he's going to make the worst movie possible. Boom.
Boner Dogs.

Speaker 5 I feel like we've just packaged it.

Speaker 3 Okay. Okay.
And he gets it back because he drives the sled off a cliff in like a bad snowstorm. It lands in the ocean and everyone's going to drown.

Speaker 3 He accidentally inhales some oysters, which boom, rush of blood. Boners back.

Speaker 3 And then then somebody from the shore casts a line into the ocean and hooks his boner, and then they lift him back up by his red lipstick.

Speaker 5 Well, at least we know the end work, so we don't have to work on that part.

Speaker 1 Right, yeah.

Speaker 5 We just work on the second act turn, right?

Speaker 3 Okay, okay, second act turn. Okay, yes, that's what I was going to say, too.
Yes, we're definitely going to do that.

Speaker 1 I had one last question.

Speaker 1 You're in King of Staten Island and also in other movies you've had, you've had your own family. How hard is it to direct your own family?

Speaker 1 Is it, I would imagine there's got to be moments where you're like, this is kind of weird because now we got to go home and eat dinner together.

Speaker 1 And I didn't like something you did in front of, you know, the cameras. Well, you know,

Speaker 5 I like that they have to listen to me. Okay.
I'm generally powerless as a person in the house. And so it is the one place where they have to listen to me.

Speaker 5 You know, I haven't worked with most of them in a long time. This is 40 was 2012.
So I actually haven't worked with anyone in the family other than Iris. Iris was in love, our TV show on Netflix.

Speaker 5 And so Maud, I hadn't worked with actually as an actress like on the set nine years. And now, you know, she's been in euphoria and that TV show Hollywood.
And now she kind of knows what she's

Speaker 5 doing. When she was a kid, I would just like, you know, seat belt her into a seat at the kitchen table and put bacon in front of her and just, you know, torture her.

Speaker 5 And that's, you know, what the scenes were. This was actual act.
thing and it was it was super fun. We actually have a really good time doing it.
And she plays Pete's

Speaker 3 sister and is the one that gets to really tell him off and tell him everything that he's doing which is uh painful for her yeah and so yeah we had a good time yeah that's great well i i really enjoyed the movie i hope people go see it because it's it's uh definitely a good watch um it's an interesting story because i have to imagine you are taking pete davidson's life and a big part of the comedy and a big part of things that push the movie forward is that his character in this movie can be kind of an asshole sometimes and you have to like you have to take that bit of his life and be like okay pete we're gonna make you an asshole in this movie because that's what you said that you're like but we're also gonna make it funny was that ever awkward where you're like hey pete be more of an asshole well sometimes people go like oh man i am just awful in this scene i'm just a nightmare uh but i feel like a lot of good comedy you know is

Speaker 5 you know people are terrible they learn how to be less terrible i don't know if you remember like the beginning of stripes it's like bill murray and the woman's yelling at him and he's the cab driver and he stops the cab on the middle of of the bridge and he tosses the keys into the into the river you know that's like how comedies start you know usually it is someone who's kind of a brat or you know acting out in some way so i always think the worse the better uh in the beginning like when you've got the boner dog in the beginning he's got a nice boner dog yep then he learns to be nice yep

Speaker 1 I like that. So now we've got some growth.

Speaker 3 Now we've got some growth.

Speaker 1 You've really helped us. You've really sparked it.
You have been our inspiration today.

Speaker 5 This is it. This is what you know.
I did one of those master classes. I think you guys should watch it and apply all of it to your draft.

Speaker 3 You are a good hang. You're absolutely right.
You've got the creative people's brains going over here. Yeah.

Speaker 5 You guys in this situation are the Jim Carrey, and I'm the Judge.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Wow.

Speaker 1 All right. Thank you so much, Judge.
Oh, last question. If you could go back in time, we were talking about freaks and geeks doing a sliding door.
Would you still vote for Trump?

Speaker 5 Would I still vote for him like I did?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 You know what? That secret vote I did for Trump and told my family.

Speaker 5 You know, I'd have to like see how the next few months go.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 5 See how it all works out.

Speaker 3 Yeah, he's learning on the job right now. So who knows?

Speaker 1 Yeah, you know, he's getting there.

Speaker 5 It's a learning curve. This is certainly a learning curve happening.

Speaker 3 I've learned never say never in life.

Speaker 1 So you wouldn't totally take back your vote. I got it.
That's fair.

Speaker 5 Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. You know, because you get pants, you know, and that was always the big plus for me.

Speaker 3 Easy icing on the cake.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 um all right well judd thank you so much go see king of staten island uh june 12th what's the deal are can people buy it at home it's going to be a rental uh so you can rent it for a few days starting june uh 12th perfect and then i guess you know a couple of months later you can buy it and then we'll have the all the extras and stuff uh come out then all right love it oscar buzz there's oscar buzz around it Let me tell you something.

Speaker 5 If I can't win an Oscar this year when there's no movies, I have no chance.

Speaker 1 Well, we started the Oscar buzz. The only Oscar buzz we've heard is just just when we interviewed Bill Burr earlier and we said, hey, there's Oscar Buzz.
So that counts, though.

Speaker 5 Let me tell you something. You are in the media.
So don't think your buzz is not real.

Speaker 1 We control the movie.

Speaker 3 There is an Oscar buzz.

Speaker 1 It's buzzing.

Speaker 3 For your consideration, Kingdom Staten Island, best director, best screenplay, best acting, Bill Burr.

Speaker 1 Best new movie I saw this year.

Speaker 5 I'm telling you, if I can get a gold globe out of this, I'm out of this game.

Speaker 3 Best Kiss, the MTV video awards, if they still do that. Best Kiss, Bill.

Speaker 5 Blockbuster Award out of this. I don't know what.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Coolest that anyone's looked smoking weed since Pineapple Express.

Speaker 3 Good point.

Speaker 1 So all I'm trying to do, I'm just trying to turn this whole career into a weed company.

Speaker 5 It hasn't happened yet.

Speaker 1 All right, man. Thank you so much.

Speaker 3 Really appreciate it. Thank you, Judd.

Speaker 5 All right. Thanks, guys.
That was fun.

Speaker 1 So, y'all know that we're big fans of Cracker Barrel. And this holiday season, I will be sat at their table with a big plate of country fried turkey.

Speaker 2 And Brandon, I'll be right there with you, and I'll check it off my Christmas list in the country store while I'm at it. It'll make a nice holiday tradition.

Speaker 3 Oh, that's so cute of you.

Speaker 2 Enjoy all the more holiday traditions only at Cracker Barrel.

Speaker 3 And now, Kentucky Sports Radio. And now for something completely different.

Speaker 1 Welcome on in, Kentucky. It is Kentucky Sports Radio, sponsored by the law office of TJ Smith.
Call TJ, he'll make them pay.

Speaker 1 We're the boys from Part of My Take Bar Stool Sports. We're guest hosting once a year.
It's one of our favorite days of the entire year. PFT.

Speaker 3 Good morning, Kentucky.

Speaker 1 So here's what we have planned for today.

Speaker 1 By the way,

Speaker 1 I just got to shout out TJ Smith. What a...

Speaker 1 Call TJ, he'll make them pay.

Speaker 1 That just... That just hits different.

Speaker 3 Listen, if I'm looking for a personal injury attorney in Kentucky, I'm not making it past the T's in my phone.

Speaker 1 I love TJ Smith. I want TJ Smith to call in.
TJ, that's all. Give me a call.

Speaker 3 Actually, TJ, you know what?

Speaker 3 I'm going on a Canadian personal injury podcast later on today. I want to know how Kentucky handles things before I deal with the Canadian.
Yes. Give me a call, TJ.

Speaker 3 I want to know how to make them pay.

Speaker 1 Lines are full. Let's go to Jordan.
Jordan, what's up?

Speaker 1 Yeah, what's going on, balls?

Speaker 3 Hey, Jordan, where are you calling from?

Speaker 3 Possum Trot, Kentucky.

Speaker 1 Oh, love it. All right, Jordan, how you doing, man? What's up? What's cooking? What do you got?

Speaker 1 Well, I had two questions for y'all.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 First of all, what was it like actually interviewing the Undertaker? Oh, it was spooky.

Speaker 1 I mean, that guy's...

Speaker 1 I mean, it's like he's not even a real guy, you know? Yes. But kind of got brought to life.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Yes.

Speaker 3 That's what happens when The Undertaker is running. He just comes back to life places.

Speaker 1 Jordan, did you agree with me? You obviously sound like you're a big wrestling fan. I love wrestling.

Speaker 1 Did you agree with me that someday the Undertaker will actually die, but I won't think he's dead forever? Like, there'll be, in 50 years from now, it'll be like the Undertaker's about to come back.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. I'm just going to expect every WrestleMania to hear the dong, you know.
Yes, yes. And then what was your second question?

Speaker 6 My second question was:

Speaker 6 would you rather have permanent Cheeto fingers or have a popcorn kernel permanently stuck in your toe?

Speaker 1 I'm going to go Cheeto fingers.

Speaker 1 Appreciate you. Take them back off.
Thank you so much, Jordan.

Speaker 3 Thank you. That was my favorite I'll hang up and listen of all time.
Being like, I want my Cheeto question answered, but I'll hang up and take my answer off air.

Speaker 3 I'm going to go with the Cheeto Fingers because, one, you can always lick your fingers. That's delicious.
But what if it's not? That's not a problem.

Speaker 1 If they lick them and they keep coming back, that's got to be annoying. I agree with you.
I would go Cheeto Fingers.

Speaker 3 Yeah, Cheeto Fingers, to me, is like a bonus. That's a good thing.
The kernel between the teeth, that's one of the worst feelings of all time. Ever.
Yeah, you can't get rid of it.

Speaker 3 It stays around for like three days at a time.

Speaker 3 There's no win out of that one. So I'm going to take the Cheeto fingers easily.

Speaker 1 Rico.

Speaker 1 Rico. Rico.
Uh-oh.

Speaker 6 Yeah, Rico from up north in Covington. Stone Sroll from Cincinnati.
How are y'all guys doing?

Speaker 1 What are you doing? Rico, come on. What are you doing? Don't insult our introduction.

Speaker 6 Coach Doug, you know, you go to these clinics. I'm wondering, you're in Lexington.

Speaker 6 Are you managing, getting from stuff from John Cal Perry about how to manage the cap? Are you learning how to pay the players?

Speaker 1 Bag. Do you have a bag? Is that fake Rico?

Speaker 3 Is this a parody account?

Speaker 1 That's John Cal Perry.

Speaker 6 He's been playing payers for years.

Speaker 1 And he's fake Rico. He's got a score.

Speaker 6 Two of them vacated. I counted.

Speaker 1 No, this is Real Rico.

Speaker 1 Real Rico doing a fake accent? Who's Rico?

Speaker 6 Rico. I'm from Lexington.
Lexington. From Cobbington.
Cobbington's one of the earliest Cobbington.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's from Cobbington.

Speaker 1 Cobbington. Yeah, you really got us there.

Speaker 3 What's awesome about this call right now is I'm sure that Rico has an entire sheet in front of him that he's written out about like his bio, his fake Rico bio.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I've been going up to St.

Speaker 1 Mary's Basil's and playing with my nanner for 20 years.

Speaker 6 I'm just wondering if Coach Doug is learning from John Cal Perry about how to pay the player, manage the cap.

Speaker 1 Rico,

Speaker 1 who's your favorite coach?

Speaker 6 Who's my favorite coach? My favorite coach is a man who defended the country. His name is Mox Reschef.

Speaker 1 Okay, so you don't think he pays the players at all?

Speaker 6 Absolutely not. Players graduate.
John Cal Perry is running a one-and-done factory.

Speaker 1 That's what you're doing. Wait, Coach K is graduate.

Speaker 1 There's like Mel Kuyper seating in the middle. I don't even know what.

Speaker 3 Rico's calling from the year 2002 before Coach Kay King. Rico, what's your favorite?

Speaker 1 Give me one last question. What's your favorite place to eat in Lexington?

Speaker 6 30. My favorite place to eat in Lexington is that Papa Johns, y'all mentioned.

Speaker 1 That's right. That one.
Oh, yeah. The flash one.
The one everyone knows about.

Speaker 1 They got the good garlic butter.

Speaker 6 All right. I got some cousins up in Brooklyn.

Speaker 1 They talk about Dafara. I've never been that far.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Rico from Covington. Thank you so much.
We finished hour one.

Speaker 3 Good to get a flavor of the real Kentucky.

Speaker 1 Please. All right.
What do we got next call? Let's go to Dilbert. Dilbert.
That's Dilbert. That's a fake name, right?

Speaker 4 No, no, no. No, God.

Speaker 4 I'm from a place called Corby, Kentucky.

Speaker 1 It's in southeastern Kentucky. Okay.
Dilbert. Good to hear from you.

Speaker 4 A couple quick facts.

Speaker 4 We're the home of the first KFC.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 4 You guys need to come down here. I don't know if you're ever down here.

Speaker 4 It's amazing. Basically, it's the same food that comes from wherever it does in corporate, but it's a neat little building.

Speaker 4 So we're the home of the first KFC.

Speaker 4 To become a Kentucky colonel, you basically just have to know somebody.

Speaker 4 I mean, I don't mean to really talk bad about any Kentucky colonels, but it ain't that big a deal, just to be honest with you, because

Speaker 4 I know some guys that,

Speaker 4 you know, that should not have that honor, but they've got it because they knew somebody and they got some papers signed.

Speaker 1 So it ain't that big a deal.

Speaker 3 You got to know somebody that knows somebody. I like it.
I'm going to look up and see who the Kentucky Colonels are and see if I know somebody. Okay, what else you got, Dilbert?

Speaker 4 Well, I got one question. Yeah.
This is something that I've done. Okay.

Speaker 4 Two things I've done. Would you rather

Speaker 4 step in dog poop barefoot with both feet and have to stay that way for several hours? Or would you rather help birth a calf where you got to get your hands all up and personal in the cow.

Speaker 4 And because it's a messy experience, I don't know if you've seen it.

Speaker 4 It's a messy experience, but what would you rather do? And if you had to do one of those two, and I'm going to hang up.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no, no, Dilbert, you do not hang up. Do not hang up.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Okay. I'll stay on here.
I'll stay on here.

Speaker 1 Why did you have to stand in dog poop for multiple hours, several hours on end?

Speaker 6 Well, no, no, no.

Speaker 4 So I used to, you know, I mean, I don't mean to be stereotypical or anything, but I used to run around my shoes off a lot. I lived kind of up in the country, and

Speaker 4 we had dogs and stuff up on the property. And I was running and chasing one, and I stepped in just the biggest pile of dog crap you've ever, I mean, it was amazing.

Speaker 4 I was squished in your toes, it was nasty. But

Speaker 4 I was kind of left alone, and so I went down to the pond and tried to wash my feet off, but it just wouldn't come on.

Speaker 4 It was like it was nasty, and I stayed that way for about three, four hours before I could take a shower. And then

Speaker 4 birthing a calf, my papa had a had a cow farm and there was a calf that was that the cow, mama cow would have died if we didn't help and he felt like it was a time to kind of teach the grandson something.

Speaker 4 And so, I mean, I don't know if you've seen City Slickers, the first one, where Billy Crystal kind of goes up in there and pulls out that calf. That was a real thing.

Speaker 4 He actually lost his watch up in there, which is kind of a funny thing. But anyway, it's a messy experience, but it's nasty.

Speaker 4 But both of them are gross experiences.

Speaker 4 I think at least with the calf coming out, you got a baby cow to look at. It's kind of cute, you know, I mean, it's neat, and they grow up.

Speaker 1 Now, can they walk right when you pull them out?

Speaker 3 Do you just pull them out and put them on the ground?

Speaker 4 They're a little bit wobbly. They look like they've had several things to drink, maybe eating some rotten apples or something.
I mean, because they're kind of wobble. Their legs are real flimsy.

Speaker 4 But, you know, they grow up to be cows that you can kill later for a steak. And that's what we do.
You know what I mean? It's just what we do. Love it.
And so, I mean, at least you got that.

Speaker 4 That's kind of a, it's kind of like when you tell a woman you've had a kidney stone and they say, well, have you had birth? And you say, no, but at least you got a baby to show for it.

Speaker 4 All I had was a stone that I passed.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I've said that a few times.

Speaker 4 I mean, if you're walking around with dog poop in between your toes, it's gross. But when you help birth a calf, there's at least a life that you're looking at, even if you get nasty.

Speaker 4 You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 I love it, Tilbury.

Speaker 3 It's a great pickup line to use, which is like, hey, I've helped a mama cow give birth to a cute little baby. And I reckon there's probably no way.

Speaker 3 way that you can do a C-section on a cow either, is there?

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 No, you'd probably kill the mama. You don't want to do that unless she's, I mean, unless she's fattened up.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 She's ready for the slaughter. You know what I mean? But I'd like to hear what you got.
I mean, if you had to choose that, which would you choose?

Speaker 1 I think I'd go with the cow because of what you said. Dilbert, I have one last question.
Are you

Speaker 1 interesting name? Are you one of many Dilberts?

Speaker 6 Is it a long line of Dilberts?

Speaker 4 No, no, no, no, no. Mom and dad, so, well, you know, there was that old, uh, that old cartoon strip.
Yep.

Speaker 4 My dad was a heavy drinker, and he used to read that when he was a kid when he started drinking and he just liked Dilbert. And I thought it was a joke, to be honest with you, when I was growing up.

Speaker 4 And I got made fun of a lot when I was growing up because of that comic strip. But I think that's what happened.

Speaker 4 I think dad was just, he was just wasted and told my mom, you know, mom, she had a rough delivery with me. I was a big old baby.
I was a fat kid.

Speaker 4 And

Speaker 4 they said they didn't have my name picked out. And here I come.
And dad says, I want him to be named Dilbert. And so it just kind of stuck.
And it's been,

Speaker 4 I mean, it's been tough, but, you know, there's not a lot of Dilberts around.

Speaker 1 It's growing on me.

Speaker 3 So it's growing on me. I like it.
Have you ever gone by anything but Dilbert, like Dilly or Bert? Or has it always just been Dilbert?

Speaker 4 Well, Shannon would have to hit the dump button if I told you what they called me when I was a kid. So we'll just leave that.

Speaker 4 But Dilbert's been pretty much stuck because, I mean, I played baseball and stuff, too. And it used to be so funny when they'd call me over the intercom.

Speaker 4 They were like, now batten number four, Dilbert. And people would laugh like it was.
I mean, it was a little bit embarrassing, but, you know, hey, in college, it kind of stuck.

Speaker 4 And now I just go with it. I'm proud, you know, I'm proud of it, just like I'm proud of my accent.
It's where I'm from.

Speaker 4 You know, as long as I can, you know, speak grammatically correct and everything and not sound too dumb. And just because I sound like a hick doesn't mean that I don't know what's going on.

Speaker 4 And so, I don't know. It's just, it's been one of those things, guys.
I mean,

Speaker 4 you know, when I have grandkids someday, they might call me something different. But right now, Dilbert's going to be fine.

Speaker 1 I love it. I think you got a great outlook on life.
And it sounds like part of that is being named Dilbert. And it's grown on me over the course of this call.
I have one last question.

Speaker 1 You said, you mentioned that you were a big baby.

Speaker 1 How many pounds did you weigh when you were born?

Speaker 4 I was just over 10 pounds. Wow.
I looked like, funny that my mama said because I was in the nursery with a bunch of little kids, and there were a couple premature babies and stuff.

Speaker 4 And I know, I actually looked up them, grew up with them. We're doing good because we share the same birthday.
But my mom joked and said the doctor, when they looked at me, they said,

Speaker 4 looks like you had twins, and he ate the other one. I mean, I was that big.

Speaker 1 I had two two kins,

Speaker 4 I had twins for days. I mean, I was just I was a big old kid.
I was a big old kid, but well,

Speaker 1 I'm not too big now.

Speaker 4 I run about 200 pounds, about five foot eight. You know, it's probably not the ideal body weight.
I got a dad body, and I'm, you know, I'm happy. I'm fine.

Speaker 1 I'm getting through life good.

Speaker 3 That's Danny Woodhead size. That is the ideal.

Speaker 3 You might not like it, but that's the ideal male physical form.

Speaker 1 Dilbert, thank you for the call. This has been our best call of the day.
Do we have something we can give him?

Speaker 1 Let's give him satisfaction for best call of the day. Dilbert, you just won satisfaction, my friend.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Tell everyone.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Dilbert. Be more like Dilbert.
Go for Dilbert. Go, Dilbert.
Go. If the entire world had the same outline Dilbert had, we'd been a much better guy.

Speaker 1 You just let everyone know that you won satisfaction for part of my takeover on KSR today.

Speaker 6 Dancing over here, bros. I appreciate you guys.
Have fun.

Speaker 1 Thanks. All right.
Thanks, Dilbert.

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Speaker 1 Okay, let's finish up the show. We have our documentary review of the week, Lance.

Speaker 1 Lance.

Speaker 1 Lance Armstrong is an asshole, and he's does, he's not actually sorry, is the actual title title of it um no I think that that is

Speaker 3 watching this the the greater picture the biggest question I had going away from it is does who the fuck does Lance Armstrong think he's fooling to be like remorseful he's not remorseful he's not he's switched at all you know what he's done is he's realized he's he's the most self-centered person I think I've ever seen like that's not really an exaggeration I think he's the most selfish person in the world but he's reached the point in his life where he's had to confront what a dick that he's been in public so many times.

Speaker 3 That the best way that he can come out of this, his grand master plan for feeling better about himself, is to make a documentary where he's like, Yes, I'm an asshole, right?

Speaker 3 But let's make a big documentary about me being an asshole.

Speaker 1 Yeah, another run, another run around the uh track of me, of me, the spotlight being on me, because that's really what it comes down to: is that he uh

Speaker 1 anytime someone has to apologize, the amount of times he has,

Speaker 1 none of them are real. Like, it's the quarter, like, if you have six apologies, you have none.
He apologized to Oprah in whatever it was, 2013.

Speaker 1 He then did a re-apology in 2018, being like, oh, yeah, that apology wasn't really, really real. Like, it didn't really work.
He's apologizing.

Speaker 1 Like, he is a guy who does not give a fuck that he is a complete...

Speaker 1 and unrepentant asshole. Yet at the same time, this is the problem that I have with Lance Armstrong.

Speaker 1 He still wants us to love him and he like there is a part because you can't deny the cancer research you can't deny that he's done some great things

Speaker 1 but he he wants to have his cake and eat it too he wants to be the asshole the win-it-all cost guy like yeah i'm doping but everyone was doping which is true for bicycles

Speaker 3 but he also wants us to be like we love you lance he has reached the point in his life where he has like He's gradually pulling back from all the lies that he's told. Right.

Speaker 3 And he's never once come absolutely clean, given, what, 10, 11 public apologies that he's had. So why am I going to think that this apology is admitting everything?

Speaker 3 He actually reminds me a lot of Pete Rose in the way that he deals with things. Where he, once he's like caught red-handed, he'll admit something.

Speaker 3 And maybe he'll give you like a little bit past what you already know about him. But then you ask him, well, what about all this other stuff?

Speaker 3 And then he'll put up like one blocker and be like, no, I never did that.

Speaker 3 So when he was talking about the lady that came into his hospital room who testified that like Lance openly admitted that he was using, he is still hanging on to the fact that, like, that conversation never happened.

Speaker 1 Right. Still hates Floyd Landis.
Still hates Landlord.

Speaker 1 It's actually kind of in a weird way, the way you just explained it. It's genius that he has so many lies that he can basically

Speaker 1 release, apologize for one every couple years and keep his relevancy. That's what he's doing.
And he has done great things. Like, his charity did great things.
Everyone remembers Livestrong.

Speaker 1 My problem is, if he was a cheater

Speaker 1 in a sport like that that is just rampant with cheating, I'd have no problem if he was like, I cheated.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's the fact, even if he lied about cheating and then someday came clean. I'd have no problem.
No problem. It's the fact that he's so

Speaker 1 litigious and

Speaker 1 aggressive towards anyone who tries to tell the truth. That's what makes him an asshole.

Speaker 3 Implying that lady

Speaker 3 she was in charge of like giving the cyclists massages on their recovery days to help them be able to take on the next time trial or whatever. He implied that she was a whore.
Right.

Speaker 3 She was a prostitute. Right.

Speaker 1 He goes after these people.

Speaker 3 Instead of being like either shutting his mouth because she was telling the truth in the interview that she did, he could have just not said anything.

Speaker 3 Instead, he responded to be like, yeah, you know what? She did a lot of inappropriate things with those cyclists, but I don't want to get into all that. Right.

Speaker 3 With Lance, he ruins other people's lives. lives.
Right. Instead of having somebody slightly damage his own.

Speaker 1 And I have a question for you. Go ahead.
Sorry. No, I was just going to stop.

Speaker 3 I was going to say, like, it's almost perfect because

Speaker 3 he found a perfect enemy in cancer.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 3 I want to unleash the most ruthless asshole in the world on cancer. I think most of us would be like, yes, whatever it takes, we'll try to defeat cancer because it kills so many people per year.

Speaker 3 So having Lance Armstrong dedicate his life and

Speaker 3 focusing his assholeness on cancer was actually a great thing. Because of this one guy, I would say probably 10 million lives, maybe more, have been saved.

Speaker 3 And like dozens more millions have been like greatly improved while they fought cancer. So yes, he's a huge asshole.

Speaker 3 But at the same time, if he wasn't such an asshole, maybe we wouldn't be as far advanced in terms of cancer research.

Speaker 1 The other thing I was thinking about in this documentary, and we'll get Billy's thoughts in a second here.

Speaker 1 I was thinking about, because it came out in the proximity, the last dance in Lance and like the being an asshole. And

Speaker 1 I don't think Michael Jordan is anywhere near the asshole that Lance Armstrong is,

Speaker 1 even close. But there is also an element of

Speaker 1 it's very, you're really out on your own when you play an individual sport.

Speaker 1 I know there's teams in biking, but I wonder if Lance Armstrong wasn't in that type of sport, if he played football, if he played basketball, if he had the team victories and was a dick to his teammates, would we see him differently?

Speaker 1 Because I think it's that idea that you are like solely out there. You get all the fucking accolades.
You get all the, you're the best ever. It's not a team sport.

Speaker 1 So when it comes the other way, we're going to rip you and tear you down. Kind of like Tiger Woods.
Like, we're going to destroy you.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I think with Lance's teams, they only existed to help Lance. And I think that's every relationship that he has in his life.

Speaker 3 If you saw the different people they were interviewing in that movie, there were like nine or ten different subjects where the bottom line of the screen said their name and then their description was former business associate of Lance Armstrong from like various businesses that he was in.

Speaker 3 None of them were like current employees of Lance. None of them were like current coworker Lance.
None of them were like current best friend. They were all like former.

Speaker 3 I think Lance sees everybody in his orbit as being there to serve him. And in bicycling, your team is quite literally there to serve the number one person.
So like

Speaker 3 you can't act the same way in a team sport, in a real team sport, as you do in bicycling, even if you do technically have teammates.

Speaker 3 But like even his current wife or girlfriend, whoever it was, like you could see his interactions with her. He was just there because he likes how she makes him feel about himself.

Speaker 1 Right, right.

Speaker 1 Hank, did you have any thoughts before we finish with Billy's? Because I'm sure they're great. Yeah, I had a few thoughts.

Speaker 1 I thought the dad stuff was like very, very interesting in the sense that I can't imagine how complicated that is, where it's like, you're named after this guy who's not your dad and he wasn't, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 mean like it was it was a weird thing where he's like trying to decide what his last name even was um the fact that he was as good as he was when he was 15

Speaker 1 people that say like steroids he's a cheater it's like he was winning triathlons when he was 15. he's clearly the best athletes

Speaker 1 clearly the best athlete we're going to talk about society maguire like and barry bonds and like all the you you there is steroids help make you better but you you're still better than everyone else regardless and i think to your point uh talking about the last dance too and how lance is obsessed with himself like the interviews the amount of interviews, like Michael Jordan, they were basically cutting from the interview he did.

Speaker 1 Like he did like two or three interviews. He sat down twice.
He sat down twice. They had like 35 different angles of interviews with Lance Armstrong.
Like he must have been like...

Speaker 1 I was like, hey, let's do another take, guys. Yeah, let's do another shoot.
We've got to do a whole new show.

Speaker 3 There were also tons of shots every other day, like running around his town in Colorado or whatever. Just like,

Speaker 3 having a camera crew in a car follow him while he's jogging through the streets. There were tons of those.
Yeah, it was very much like still a shrine to Lance.

Speaker 3 I think he just reached reached the point where he doesn't care that a lot of people think that he's an asshole, or at least that's what he tells himself.

Speaker 3 He's moved into the Lance,

Speaker 3 you're looking in the mirror in the morning, you don't care what the assholes think, but you're going to think about him all day. Right.
Right. You're going to think about everybody.

Speaker 1 I also was thinking after the MJ documentary and like the fact that Brady's doing one, there's going to be in about like three or four years, the oversaturation of athlete-made athlete documentaries is going to

Speaker 1 be tough. Because it's just tough when it's slanted.
You can just tell when it's like.

Speaker 3 billy let me see your phone record it's not it wasn't a filmmaker making lance armstrong documentary my phone dad i gotta see it they also didn't say why they dropped that final federal investigation yeah they kind of glossed that over it's like well lance made a couple important phone calls and that's that now that's the thing that lance is currently lying about is why the the feds just dropped the case entirely that'll be another apology in three years another oprah interview is this a text to yourself yeah no it's not it's a text to myself you put yourself in as king that was in high school okay you're not in high high school anymore.

Speaker 1 I want to hear what you thought about the documentary without any of these notes.

Speaker 3 It was really interesting to see the psyche behind such a competitor and sort of hear about

Speaker 3 the preparations.

Speaker 1 That's not the most.

Speaker 1 No, no, keep going. I want the most generalized.

Speaker 3 I mean, in the lengths you would take to win.

Speaker 1 You just reviewed this documentary.

Speaker 1 Right up your alley.

Speaker 1 You literally have no other stocks to watch.

Speaker 1 I don't have ESPN. Keep going.
Keep going. Keep going.

Speaker 1 I watched Icarus. Okay.

Speaker 1 So what do you think about that with Lance? No, no.

Speaker 3 So I researched all the steroids he did. And it's actually kind of interesting because they're not steroids or PDs in the traditional sense that

Speaker 3 the layman knows steroids.

Speaker 1 They're not performance-enhancing drugs?

Speaker 3 Yeah, well, they're not like

Speaker 1 doping. Yeah, well, they're not muscle.

Speaker 3 They don't make your muscles bigger or make you stronger. The stuff that he was doing was EPO, which is something your body secretes when you're like have

Speaker 3 pre-com. Yeah, no, no, no, uh, frostbite.

Speaker 3 So, like, it's trying to get your body secretes this chemical when you get frostbite to push oxygen to your regions of your body that don't have oxygen or about to fall off.

Speaker 3 So, and then he also did another compound, which I forget the name of right now, but it's extracted from calves blood, which is another

Speaker 1 oxygenating compound. That's our show.
I love that Billy's whole takeaway was I didn't watch it, but also, dude, can I tell you guys about more steroids? He did like a regular steroid.

Speaker 3 To be fair, Billy came into the office and he was like, like, I'm going to watch it on double speed. And I was like, Billy, it's not a podcast.

Speaker 3 You can't fast forward it.

Speaker 1 You can't listen to double speed.

Speaker 1 What does that mean?

Speaker 3 You can do that on YouTube.

Speaker 1 Oh my God. All right.
Next week, we're going to watch something on YouTube.

Speaker 1 I'm going to pick the documentary. Okay.
Something that Billy can.

Speaker 1 I'm picking the documentary next.

Speaker 3 One other thing I had on here. Do you remember that clip in this documentary where they had all the bicyclists talking about how dangerous the Tour de France was?

Speaker 1 That's what I didn't really show any bike crashes. And how

Speaker 3 deadly it it is, and how, if you make one false move, you're going to meet your maker instantly. Yes.

Speaker 3 How many deaths do you think have taken place in the Tour de France since it started in 1903?

Speaker 1 I don't know. They didn't show us any.

Speaker 3 117 years of bicycling.

Speaker 1 Three.

Speaker 3 30. Or five.

Speaker 1 Five. Five.

Speaker 3 And the first one was a guy that went swimming in the Mediterranean Sea on an off day and he had a hard time. Oh, that doesn't.

Speaker 1 That doesn't show up. Well, he's probably blood doping.

Speaker 3 Yeah, probably. Probably so jacked up on steroids.
One other guy was probably doing Coke during the Tour de France. They talked about how they used to do bumps during the bike race.

Speaker 1 Now, that's cool.

Speaker 3 That's odd. What a way to go that is.
That's more dangerous than steroids. It's actually, so

Speaker 3 there have been 27 spectators that have died and three cyclists that have died. So it's more dangerous to not ride in the Tour de France than it is to ride in the Tourists.

Speaker 3 Think about the road rash. That's true.
They didn't think about the Trance. The chafing.
Yeah. He also used to raise the.
He tested me from Road Rash.

Speaker 3 Dude, Road Rash is a real thing. I know.

Speaker 1 It's like sliding in solidarity. Yeah, it's like when you go in the ocean, you have to ride your bike home.
All right. We'll see you on one.
I hate that.

Speaker 3 Love you guys.

Speaker 3 Today's not my day to find you. Shine away.

Speaker 3 So I'll be coming for your love of king.

Speaker 3 Shine away.

Speaker 3 I've been coming for your love of king.

Speaker 3 I

Speaker 3 beg your

Speaker 3 Say after me,

Speaker 3 to be safe, and sorry.

Speaker 3 Say

Speaker 3 gone.

Speaker 3 Things I've been saying

Speaker 3 aloud.

Speaker 3 Just wave up the rest.

Speaker 3 You're all the things I've got to remember.

Speaker 3 When you shine away,

Speaker 3 I'll be coming beautiful anyway.

Speaker 3 Shine away.

Speaker 3 Love you coming beautiful.

Speaker 3 I

Speaker 3 drink on me.