Forrest Gump Writer Eric Roth, NFL Power Rankings, Mt Rushmore Of Why We Love Dogs

1h 41m

We're back in studio, quick message off the top to keep listening to each other. We get back into sports and get mad at Peter King's NFL power rankings. (2:40-15:44) Baseball maybe back? (15:45-18:40) Hot Seat/Cool Throne including Lenny Dykstra and Dan Bilzerian being the greatest philosopher of our time. (19:35-31:05) Forrest Gump Writer and Oscar Winner Eric Roth joins the show to talk about writing movies, Hollywood, horse racing and spending time with Muhammad Ali. (33:04-1:16:42) Mt Rushmore of things we love about dogs (1:18:08-1:31:12) and guys on chicks. (1:31:13-1:38:05)


You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/pardon-my-take

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Runtime: 1h 41m

Transcript

Speaker 1 Hey, Pardon My Take listeners. You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.

Speaker 2 The Pro Football Football Show is presented by the Chevy Silverado. Built for the hustle, ready for the game, Chevy Silverado is America's most dependable full-size truck.

Speaker 2 Whether you're grinding through the week or gearing up for kickoff, the Silverado is one ride that's always game ready. Just like football, it's about grit, grind, and getting it done.

Speaker 2 Head to Chevy.com to learn more and build your own Chevy Silverado.

Speaker 1 On today's part of my take, we have an interview with Forrest Gump writer, Oscar winner, big-time Hollywood guy, Eric Roth.

Speaker 3 Hollywood so-and-so.

Speaker 1 Hollywood so-and-so, Eric Roth, talk about his career, talk about writing Forrest Gump, some of the other movies, some of the misses, some of the ones that he thought were great.

Speaker 1 Interesting interview because we don't really know what it takes to write a movie, even though we're trying to write a movie. We have Hot Seat Cool Throne.

Speaker 1 We have a Mount Rushmore, special feel-good Mount Rushmore. We have Guys on Chicks, and Hank is on vacation, so Billy Football is filling in for him with the Hot Seat Cool Throne.

Speaker 1 When Cool Creamy Ranch meets tangy, bold buffalo, the hole is greater than the sum of its sauce. Say howdy, partner, to new Buffalo Ranch Sauce, only at McDonald's for a limited time.

Speaker 3 At participating, McDonald's.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's go.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, we're gonna run it down to Elite Strait Avenue.

Speaker 1 And then we'll take it higher.

Speaker 1 Oh, we got a ride down to Elaine. Trick Arben.

Speaker 1 Welcome to part of my take presented by the Cash App.

Speaker 1 Go download it right now and also go to their Twitch channel, twitch.tv/slash cash app, where you can get free money every single time they go live by dropping your cash tag in their chat.

Speaker 1 Today is Wednesday, June 3rd. We're here.

Speaker 3 We're still here.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so

Speaker 1 we're going to do the regular show. We just want to tell everyone, if you missed Monday's show, Arian Foster's interview, I would highly, highly recommend going and listening to it.

Speaker 1 We talked about everything that's going on in America right now.

Speaker 1 I think the feedback was... overwhelmingly positive, which I'm very happy about.
Our listeners are the best listeners. And hopefully some minds were changed.

Speaker 1 I know my mind was changed instantly on, we can start here, the Instagram Blackout Tuesday.

Speaker 1 Two days ago, that's something we would have made fun of in terms of like, oh, we solved racism by blacking out our Instagram.

Speaker 3 Yeah, pat ourselves on the back for it.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 3 he did talk about that and discuss like sometimes showing a little sign of visibility can help people.

Speaker 3 I know I've heard from a lot of our listeners, and I do want to point this out, that the feedback has been 99.9%

Speaker 3 positive for the discussion.

Speaker 3 Even a lot of people that were like, I don't necessarily agree with everything Arion says, Arian has a very unique perspective, and he's done his homework.

Speaker 3 He knows what the different arguments out there are against his point of view, and he does a very good job of saying why he disagrees with them.

Speaker 3 The feedback I've gotten has been amazing, and to your point, Big Cat, just letting people know that we have their back in a situation like that we support. I definitely did not solve anything.

Speaker 3 I did not make a dent in anything by putting a little black square on my Instagram today, but I did receive messages from people saying, hey, I do appreciate you saying this.

Speaker 3 So

Speaker 3 that's all a bonus from there.

Speaker 1 The biggest thing I took away from Arian talking with him on Sunday, small wins matter. So small wins matter.

Speaker 1 You know, I definitely, just two days ago, would have made fun of a movement like that, Instagram blackout movement like that, because it does feel a little pat on your back. But guess what?

Speaker 1 It's not about me. It's about supporting people who are hurting right now.
And we're going to do that.

Speaker 3 We will continue to do that so please go listen to the interview if you missed it we will uh i've even decided that after this show i'm going to go outside and i'm going to walk up to a department store window and have somebody take a picture of me holding a drill and then get and then hand it right back to them and then i'm going to hop in my uber how about that that woman whoo that was gotta do it for the

Speaker 1 outfit or no just getting out of the beamer holding a drill limp wristed and stopping a guy who is actually trying to put up the board yeah and then hopping back in the beamer and going back to wherever she came from.

Speaker 3 You know what? It is good to get everybody together to unite and say that is a piece of shit.

Speaker 1 Shit right there.

Speaker 3 I think we can all agree and say that that person did, well, who knows if they suck or not. What they did was a pretty shitty thing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so bottom line is

Speaker 1 we're trying to navigate this as best we can. We're hoping to expand some minds whenever we can, use our platform in a good way.

Speaker 1 But we also understand that our platform is to give people a break and listen to us be idiots.

Speaker 3 I do understand.

Speaker 1 Let's do that first by hopping right into getting mad about Peter King's rankings. He put out his power rankings, his NFL power rankings, and boy, am I mad.

Speaker 3 Are they worse than Prisco's rankings?

Speaker 1 They're neck and neck. Okay, let's talk about.

Speaker 3 Well, I feel like Peter King has had some shots fired at him recently and felt the need to step his takes up.

Speaker 3 Peter has always been a real milquetoast kind of guy where he's afraid to make his takes or the anti-takes, which is like, hey, this team could be good-ish. Right.

Speaker 3 And recently, he sees that people are paying more attention to Prisco's takes because Prisco, Peter King thinks that he thinks things, and Prisco knows that he knows things.

Speaker 1 When Peter King goes to a Thai restaurant, they're like, Let's make sure we give him the least spicy dish on the menu.

Speaker 1 All right, so I'm going to go, I'll go down at you. Just stop me when you have

Speaker 1 that. Doesn't sound right because I have a few as well.
All right, Chiefs, one, got it, makes sense. Ravens, two.

Speaker 1 Great. Makes sense.
Saints, three.

Speaker 1 Cool. No problem there.
49ers, four.

Speaker 1 Bucs, five. I'm actually okay with this.

Speaker 3 He's putting a lot of stock in that.

Speaker 1 I'm okay with the Bucs being five because the Bucs weren't, like, they had the core of a decent team last year. They just had a quarterback that threw 30 interceptions.

Speaker 3 One thing, and a lot of offensive players that didn't make tackles on linebackers returning the interceptions for touchdowns. I also think that the running game game in Tampa is underrated.

Speaker 3 We've reached that.

Speaker 3 It's swinging that direction in my mind where so many people are talking about Tom Brady and Gronk and Mike Evans that no one's talking about Barber and the rushing attack that they had, which was pretty effective.

Speaker 1 And they had a pretty good defense too. So Bucs five, fine with that.
Seahawks six, cool with that. You know what I'm also cool with? I'm actually fine with Titans at seven.

Speaker 1 I'm okay with Titans at seven. If they can continue what they did the end of last year, that's a really good team.

Speaker 3 But here's what I love about having the Titans at seven is you give a lot of daylight for Titans fans to get pissed off about being at seven because they can be like, we beat the Ravens last year.

Speaker 3 Right.

Speaker 1 But, all right, so here's where it gets a little spicy.

Speaker 1 Raiders at eight. Okay? The Raiders.
All right. A team that hasn't gone to the playoffs in a while, I don't think.

Speaker 1 Yes, they've upgraded. Yes, they had a lot of draft capital.

Speaker 1 I think they're going to be good, but eight?

Speaker 3 Once you get out of the top five, you can kind of, you can tell which coaches and and quarterbacks return Peter King's calls.

Speaker 1 Correct. So that's kind of right on.

Speaker 3 That's also why Tom Brady is up there is because he calls him back.

Speaker 1 Nine Cowboys. I'm okay with that as well.
Ten Steelers.

Speaker 1 I don't know how you rank the Raiders ahead of the Steelers when the Steelers had probably the best defense down the stretch, and then they get Ben Rothelsberger, I guess.

Speaker 1 I guess you could say the question mark is Ben Rothelsberger, but if he's, I mean, their quarterback play was not good.

Speaker 3 Derek Carr's ceiling is like it is like Ben Rothlessberger's belly.

Speaker 1 So I'd flip those. Vikings at 11.
That seems, I feel like as long as Kirk Cousins on the Vikings, they will always be ranked between 11 and 16.

Speaker 3 I would put them immediately at 16.

Speaker 3 That's the Vikings.

Speaker 3 The Seahawks are always number six. The Vikings are always number 16.

Speaker 1 Packers 12.

Speaker 1 That's fine.

Speaker 1 Bills at 13.

Speaker 1 The Bills should be ahead of the Raiders. Yes.
The Bills, I mean, the Bills should win the AFC East this year.

Speaker 3 And we haven't gotten to the Texans yet either.

Speaker 1 Oh, we're going to have to wait for the Texans, buddy.

Speaker 3 All right, so wait, Bill is at 13? 13. There's some Josh Allen.
Disrespect. Okay, there's also some Josh Allen MVP buzz that's been going around.
Starting here. Starting here three years ago.

Speaker 3 But

Speaker 3 I feel like I don't want too much pressure on that. So I'm disregarding all the preseason buzz for Josh Allen.

Speaker 1 Okay, so Bill's 13, Colts 14, Eagles 15. I'm actually okay.
So this is my 14 through 17 is actually

Speaker 1 the zone where you're basically saying they're going to finish either

Speaker 1 five power ranks ahead of where I'm at or five worse. Like you could see the Colts being the eighth best team or the ninth best team or you could see them being the 19th best team.

Speaker 3 Phillip Rivers. Phillip Rivers.
That's a big question.

Speaker 1 So these four are all lumped in together, I would say. The Colts at 14, the Eagles at 15, the Rams at 16, the Bears at 17.
I think all those teams are, if everything goes right,

Speaker 1 they're going to be like the fifth, sixth, sixth, or seventh team to make the playoffs. If everything goes wrong, they will be in the top 12 picks.

Speaker 3 Yes, if the Bears have as many wins as they have tight ends, they will jump up.

Speaker 1 They'll be spotted there. Yeah, yeah.
But I think that's actually a pretty appropriate place for the Bears to be, for the Rams.

Speaker 1 It's pretty much like they have the bones to be a good team, but they have to do some things right to get there.

Speaker 3 The Eagles have the bones. They don't have the ligaments.
So if Carson Wentz can stay healthy, then I think they'll be be top 10.

Speaker 1 Another spicy one. Next two, spicy ones.
These are going to be the dark horse teams all summer long. Cardinals at 18, which I kind of like.

Speaker 3 Cardinals, right now, I'm just calling it, they are going to be everyone's dark horse teams.

Speaker 1 It's the Regional Spillman team.

Speaker 3 Yeah, because it's going to be like they can't be as bad as they were last year, plus year two with a new coach.

Speaker 1 And also need to remind everyone, because I need to remind myself every two weeks, DeAndre Hopkins is on the Cardinals.

Speaker 3 That's true. I forget.

Speaker 1 Like, you keep forgetting, but it's the truth. I forget.
Christian Kirk, Larry Fitzgerald, DeAndre Hopkins.

Speaker 3 I want to hear some Kyler Murray offseason stories. I want to hear that Kyler is showing up in the best season

Speaker 3 or best shape of his life. I want to hear that he grew two inches in the offseason.

Speaker 1 Dolphins 19, another one where I actually like that. I think that

Speaker 1 the fact that Dolphins were trying to tank, won five games, beat the Patriots in a game the Patriots wanted to win in week 17 in Foxborough, and still got the quarterback they were trying to tank for.

Speaker 1 I'm okay with that.

Speaker 3 Great job of trusting the process.

Speaker 3 Although it does depend who's starting it, is it going to be Tua? Is it going to be Fitzy? Fitzpatrick's still on the roster, right? I think so, yeah.

Speaker 3 So Fitzpatrick, Josh Rosen, I would put Fitzpatrick, if he's starting, they should be in the top 10 for the first five weeks of the season. Yep.
Because that's when Fitzmagic is going to come out.

Speaker 1 Broncos 20.

Speaker 1 They're a big question mark team. I could see the Broncos being

Speaker 1 a really good team, and I could see them not.

Speaker 1 Who knows what they're going to be?

Speaker 3 I'd put Broncos in the 12 to 15 region. I'm a Drew Locke guy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the problem is when you do this, you end up with like

Speaker 1 18 teams in the 12 to 15 regions.

Speaker 3 Yeah, here's how it goes. I've got a top five, and then I've got 10 teams at 12, and then I've got like a 30 and 31 and 32.

Speaker 1 All right, here's the shockers. Patriots at 21.
I don't know how you put a Bill Belichick team at 21.

Speaker 3 I think you just answered the question. I think Bill Belichick told Peter King, put him at 21.

Speaker 1 That's one where you just, wherever you put, if Peter King, if you're writing this down and and you're doing your power rankings and you put the Patriots at 21, you should then automatically just bump them up like four spots because of Bill Belichick.

Speaker 3 I think that Peter King also stumbled his way into getting page views because he knows that Jerry Thornton is going to write seven articles about the Patriots being at 21.

Speaker 1 Texans at 22.

Speaker 3 Okay, that's a pretty far drop.

Speaker 3 To be fair, they don't have any players anymore. No.
So that's pretty high for not having a race.

Speaker 1 They still have Deshaun Watson.

Speaker 1 Chargers. No, they have Will Fuller for the first half of the the first game.

Speaker 3 That's true. They've got Will Fuller.
They've got David Johnson.

Speaker 1 He might get injured in the preseason.

Speaker 3 They have David Johnson.

Speaker 1 I think David Johnson, I think that's a bad thing because you know Bill O'Brien's like, we got to feed David Johnson. That'll make Matthew Berry not David Johnson.

Speaker 3 It'll make Matthew Berry very happy if that's what the case is. If they do, in fact, have David Johnson on the team and Will Fuller for a game and J.J.
Watt.

Speaker 3 And they always have a couple of good linebackers. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. So then we rattle off the end here.
So Chargers at 23, Browns at 24.

Speaker 1 Those teams could definitely make the playoffs. They could also just suck.
The Falcons at 25.

Speaker 3 I'm actually going to put the Browns at 13. Oh, wow.
I'm a Browns believer. They're going back to the fullback game this week.

Speaker 1 I like what the Browns have done, too. I think they should be higher.
But again, once you make them higher, then you have to make everyone lower. Falcons at 25.

Speaker 1 Peter must not realize they have literally a first-round pick at 10 out of 11 positions on offense.

Speaker 3 And they haven't played their best game of 2017 yet. Nope.

Speaker 1 Still coming. Lions at 26, Bengals at 27, Jets at 28, Panthers at 29, and then we finish off with Giants, Redskins, Jaguars.

Speaker 3 Okay, Panthers, I think, should also be a little bit higher.

Speaker 3 New head coach. New head coach and new quarterback in town.
I always bump that up like five times.

Speaker 3 What are the bottom five again?

Speaker 1 So it goes Jets, Panthers, Giants, Redskins, Jaguars.

Speaker 3 Jaguars at 32 feels low.

Speaker 1 After Doug Marone, who else would be 32?

Speaker 3 Doug Marone cried and rallied the troops

Speaker 3 and then got Minchi Magic. 32,

Speaker 3 nobody. Nobody should start the season.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow. Look at you.
Participation of COVID-PFT. That's a good question.

Speaker 3 Who would I have as my mentor? Most of the Redskins? Maybe the Arwards, yeah.

Speaker 3 I like Ron Rivera.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Jets at 32.

Speaker 1 I actually think the Giants could ⁇ of those five bottom teams, if I had to pick one of those five bottom teams to make the playoffs, I would throw in the Giants.

Speaker 1 Just because the NFC never makes sense. D'Andio Jones, maybe he stops fumbling all the the time.
I don't know.

Speaker 3 I would put Jets at 32 on the fact that Joe Flacco will not be ready for the start of the season.

Speaker 1 Joe Judge is not Pat Shermer.

Speaker 1 Special teams is going to be good. That's at least like six points.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, those are the rankings. It feels good, though, to just get mad about some rankings that mean nothing.

Speaker 3 It is weird to have a team at 32 that has a returning coach and quarterback from last year.

Speaker 1 Yeah. But

Speaker 1 someone's got to be 32.

Speaker 3 If you wanted to make the Raiders' argument at 32, I think you could actually make an argument for that.

Speaker 1 All right, so that's Peter King. We also have baseball, maybe coming back.
Who knows?

Speaker 1 So essentially, everything I understand that I've read, and it's dangerous that I'm reading now, but the owners have flexed back on the players. So the players said, we made a deal in March.

Speaker 1 We're playing for pro-rated salaries of how many games we play.

Speaker 1 The owners tried to get them off of that. The player said, fuck that.
So then the owner said, oh, that deal also says how many games we can play. So the owners get to decide the amount of games.

Speaker 1 So they say, oh, if we have to pay you pro-rated, then we'll just play 50 games and pay you not much money.

Speaker 3 But it sounds like the players are kind of okay with it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I hope that they land more like 70, 80 games. I think 50 is probably.
50 would be exciting, but it also would be maddening to watch a team.

Speaker 1 The Mariners are a bad case because they fell off faster than that. But I think they were 13 and 2 last year, and they ended up with one of of the worst records in baseball.

Speaker 3 And the Nationals stunk for the first 50 games.

Speaker 1 50 games is their tough.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 70-80, I think you can weed out.

Speaker 1 You'll still have a couple teams where you can point to and say there's no way they would have lasted an entire season, but at least it can be a little bit closer to these are the good teams, these are the bad teams.

Speaker 3 There's also something that I like about baseball being such a drawn-out season.

Speaker 3 I don't think that it should be as long as it is, but there's something nice about forgetting about baseball for a couple weeks and then coming back to it and be like, oh yeah, here's what's happening in baseball now.

Speaker 3 Right. You know what I'm saying? Like getting distracted and forgetting about it.
Plus, the pace of a baseball game doesn't really seem to line up with a super fast season. Right.

Speaker 3 Like it's a slow burn. Like football, it makes sense.
It's a fast game. It's a fast season.
Baseball, a very slow game.

Speaker 3 Having every game mean a lot might be exhilarating, but it might be just kind of weird.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it will be, we have the potential now of having in the fall baseball playoffs, NBA playoffs, Stanley Cup playoffs, and then football.

Speaker 1 I'm all in the same like September and October, clear your schedule. You're not doing anything.

Speaker 3 It's a new season. So it's not fall.
It's not winter. September and October is just going to be sports season.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Just going to be great. It's going to be sports all the time.
It's going to be fucking great.

Speaker 1 It's going to be the amount of money I'm going to have it play every single night makes my fucking nuts tingle.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's do our hot seat cool throne and then we'll get to Eric Roth.

Speaker 1 Ooh, Billy, the only time we will let you drink, the only time we let you drink.

Speaker 3 Billy is so happy right now.

Speaker 1 Billy, so the

Speaker 1 oh, he is a wide receiver, folks. He caught that.

Speaker 1 You have to

Speaker 1 shotgun it, Billy. Don't shotgun it.
Billy immediately took out his

Speaker 1 tees out. He was ready to fucking slam.
No, open it.

Speaker 1 No, open it like a regular human being. I'm going to beat him.
Okay, open it like a regular human being.

Speaker 3 Oh, Billy figured out how to press a button and stuff.

Speaker 1 Wait, wait, and it starts as soon as I start reading the ad, and you have to try to finish before I finish the ad. Okay?

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Billy is

Speaker 1 venting. He's venting it.
This is some fucking Elon Musk SpaceX shit. He's venting his can, his Bud Light Seltzer can.
All right. Ready?

Speaker 1 Hot seat cool throne is brought to you by our friends at Bud Light Seltzer. Try it for yourself and see why.
Great tasting. Oh, my God, Billy's done.

Speaker 1 Bud Light Seltzer is putting every other hot seltzer on the hot seat. Jesus, Billy.

Speaker 1 Go check out Bud Light Seltzer. Billy, that was impressive.
You You did vent, though.

Speaker 3 That's what you were born to do.

Speaker 1 You're so happy that we let him drink. God damn.
All right, Billy, you kick it off. Hot seat, cool throne.
Hank is on vacation. I don't know if you heard.
Wally picked up.

Speaker 1 Hank decided he's going to run away to his second home.

Speaker 3 Which is just everywhere else besides his first home.

Speaker 1 He's fair, though.

Speaker 3 This is only his fourth vacation.

Speaker 1 And he also gave us a big heads up a month ago that he was going to go on vacation. And we said, we can handle without you.
He did. Oh, wait.
Let's.

Speaker 1 Billy, there's no chance that Hank's gonna listen to this, so let's leave a word.

Speaker 3 Okay, so the word for Hank is chin.

Speaker 1 Chin. If Hank tweets us the word chin by 10 a.m.
tomorrow, he's got a tweet at, he's got to tweet at

Speaker 1 PFT, myself, Liam, Billy, and the pardon my take account. He just has to tweet the word chin.
If he does that, that means he listened.

Speaker 3 If not, he has to get a cat.

Speaker 1 And no one, no one tip him off.

Speaker 1 Please. Have you done this to me before?

Speaker 1 Every single episode, dude. What?

Speaker 1 Okay,

Speaker 1 shut up. All right, here we go.

Speaker 1 Hot seat, cool throne. Hank, your words, chin.
All right, Billy, hot seat, cool throne. Hot seat.
In the mic.

Speaker 1 Into the mic. That seltzer is hitting me.

Speaker 1 Lightweight. Oh, wait.
Talk to me. Talk to the mic.
Into the mic. I'm in.
It's here. There you go.

Speaker 1 Hot up just a little. Hot seat.

Speaker 1 Jake Paul. Yes.
Jake Paul is on a serious hot seat. I am not putting him on the hot seat.
You kind of look like him. I'm like the Waluji to him.

Speaker 1 Wait, wait, the what? You're the one?

Speaker 1 If he's Mario, I'm like Wario.

Speaker 3 No, no, no, no. You're the Waluji.

Speaker 1 Waluji. Waluigi.

Speaker 3 Yeah, Waluigi. Waluigi.

Speaker 1 No, Waluji. Waluji, right? Waluji.
It's like when you have a really big Lugie and you're like,

Speaker 1 Waluigi.

Speaker 1 Anyway,

Speaker 1 I think I'm not putting him on the hot seat because I'm not in the... What are you talking about? Waluji's patient.

Speaker 1 internet, put him on the hot seat.

Speaker 1 You're going to defend him? I'm not defending him at all. I'm just announcing just what the internet has done to him.

Speaker 1 I'm in no place to say what he did was. But anyway.

Speaker 1 Billy Luxembourg. I cannot take a stand on Jake Paul.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 3 No more seltzer story. I don't like him.

Speaker 1 There's good Pauls on all streams.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 he was running around a little.

Speaker 3 Paul Lives Matter.

Speaker 1 He was running around a destroyed mall

Speaker 1 filming a video.

Speaker 1 Destroyed mall makes it sound like it was already destroyed. It was part of the

Speaker 1 money.

Speaker 3 Was he touring the ruins of a mall?

Speaker 1 I'm not going to start anything, but he wasn't on video destroying anything, but I could imagine. But like, everyone's based.

Speaker 1 He basically was exploiting the protest and all the stuff happening for a video, which I'm Paul.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's just not morally Paul. Paul sees something and they're like, ooh, how can I get it?

Speaker 3 Paul is the force gump of clout chasers. He just shows up anytime there's a big event and he's like, I'm in it too for a vlog.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and it's like, it's like, I think it's disgusting, and everyone on the internet thinks it's disgusting. And so he's on the hot seat.
He released an apology saying that, oh, I wasn't doing it.

Speaker 1 I was doing it to document it. And I was like, I mean,

Speaker 1 he's like a videographer. He's

Speaker 1 storing.

Speaker 1 You're seeing him. He's like, he's not doing a Ken Burns documentary.
I'll tell you that. Nice, nice.
That was his fucking bone. Nice.
I got it.

Speaker 3 He's an embedded reporter in the protest.

Speaker 1 You don't dress up in all that swag and run around if you're not trying to make a scene of it. True.

Speaker 3 So he was... Do we know what mallet it was? Like in Scotland? I think Arizona.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was in the city. We should later this summer.
We're watching Low Gang.

Speaker 3 I've always been Low Gang. We should.

Speaker 1 That's his brother. We should have...

Speaker 1 We should follow Billy around in New York City pretending he's a Paul brother.

Speaker 3 If you put a mask on, which you should be wearing, by the way, Billy.

Speaker 1 I have a bandana. Okay.

Speaker 3 You wouldn't not look like a Paul.

Speaker 1 Yeah. We should do that.
All right. What's your cool throne? My cool throne is also in Arizona.
John Bon Jones. John Bones Jones.

Speaker 1 He was running around. He's like, legitimately was probably the most badass man in a three-state radius.

Speaker 1 And he was just out there, like taking like spray cans and like weapons from a bunch of like toothpick dudes who are just not there for any productive reason.

Speaker 1 And it was like sick because you just see these guys like like John Bon Jones runs up and they're just shitting their pants.

Speaker 1 And they're like, I just wanted to like, you know, rage with my boys and cause trouble. And boom, John Bon Jones.
And they're just like

Speaker 1 absolutely getting baited by like the biggest alpha and he's probably,

Speaker 1 I don't think he's

Speaker 1 in between fights. I don't even know what his status right now at the UFC is, but you'd have to imagine he's on a cycle or two.
He's all

Speaker 3 in between fights.

Speaker 1 He's probably deep.

Speaker 3 It's good to see him on, you know, showing that he can go on both sides of the law occasionally.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 I mean, honestly it looked the it's like when uh it what's that movie catch me if you can where they hire frank avignon at the end to be the guy that spots forged documents like using john bond jones to find people that are carrying weapons illegally is actually the most brilliant picture

Speaker 1 it's like so the video looks like the exact same street that i mean his dui footage was from so it's kind of

Speaker 1 like the land like legitimate well maybe he doesn't because he was drunk yeah i mean he was shooting an AK-47 out of his

Speaker 1 sunroof, which is kind of cool if it wasn't in a populated area. Yeah.
Like, if you're in the middle of the desert doing that, like, sick. Right.
But people around.

Speaker 1 Use your guns in deserts only.

Speaker 1 This was also in Arizona.

Speaker 1 So, like, in my head, I just have this sick fantasy where John Bond Jones rolled up on Jake Paul doing stupid shit, and there was like some confrontation, and Jake Paul was just absolutely bitched out.

Speaker 3 You know how Logan Paul keeps trying to fight Antonio Brown? Yeah. These two should fight and call it.
They should call it John Paul Jones. We have not yet begun to fight.

Speaker 1 Oof, that's good.

Speaker 3 I would get that right. It's a deep history.

Speaker 3 He was the cap.

Speaker 1 Go look it up. Okay, go look it up.
Yeah, that's going to end up being a deep dive. All right.
Good job, Billy. Good job.
Way to go. Nailed it.
All right.

Speaker 3 Go pass out.

Speaker 1 PFT, what's your hot seat cool torque?

Speaker 3 My hot seat is my oven. Ironically.

Speaker 3 My oven ironically got roasted online yesterday. So I made baked chicken wings because I'm a beta cuck and I'm trying to cut down on oils.

Speaker 3 And so I baked these chicken wings to get them nice and crispy. They're not ever going to get as crispy as when you fry them.

Speaker 3 But I stumbled into kitchen online. What is it? Kitchen Instagram.
Kitchen Instagram. That's what I ran afoul of.
And I had probably 50 people telling me, bro, you should use an air fryer.

Speaker 3 So I spent about 30 minutes just watching sick air fryer videos last night. I actually got one.

Speaker 1 They're sick. Are they? Yeah.
Do you have one?

Speaker 4 It's the only thing I know how to use. All you do is you just put the stuff in.

Speaker 3 This is exactly what happened to me like a hundred times last night. I ended up buying one.
So I'm purchasing an air fryer. I guess it's

Speaker 3 there's always one kitchen appliance that's going to solve all your problems. Like the latest one.
Last year, I think it was the Instapot or the Hot Pot or whatever. Now I guess it's the air fryer.

Speaker 3 So I copped an air fryer. So congratulations, internet.
You won my ovens on the hot stove. I love it.

Speaker 3 Can I make soup in an air fryer, Bubba?

Speaker 1 Sure. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Anything. Okay, fry the soup.
Do anything.

Speaker 3 Love it. My cool throne is Lenny Dykstra's public image.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 So Lenny Dykstra,

Speaker 3 it was ruled by an actual court of law in the United States that you cannot libel Lenny Dykstra because his reputation is already so bad that you can't make it worse.

Speaker 3 He's written books and he's been on the record saying the worst possible things to the point where you cannot make him seem like more of a scoundrel than he's already admitted to being, which is like the goal.

Speaker 1 Nothing you can say.

Speaker 3 You can't damage him anymore.

Speaker 1 That he's done to himself.

Speaker 3 He shot the moon with his reputation. It's become so bad that it's actually an asset to him.
I love it.

Speaker 3 Good job, Lenny. I mean, I kind of look at this as a challenge.

Speaker 3 Could we possibly?

Speaker 1 Yeah, we could, but we don't want to, but we could.

Speaker 3 He's the final boss of slander. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Anyone could try.

Speaker 3 I don't know. I heard he fucked a pig.

Speaker 1 Ooh.

Speaker 3 I heard Lenny Dykstra fucks pigs.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow. So that might actually get us in trouble.

Speaker 3 Lenny Dykstra fucked a pig.

Speaker 1 Wow. Okay.
If PFT gets sued, that was not me.

Speaker 3 It would be the best Supreme Court case of all time.

Speaker 1 What are you going to do, Billy? He did it to save

Speaker 1 a royal person.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 Black Mirror. Okay.
Oh.

Speaker 3 He fucked a pig to save Netflix. There we go.

Speaker 1 All right. My hot seat is Phil Rivers and Roy Williams because researchers found that saying the word fuck can improve your threshold for pain.

Speaker 1 So, and it actually found if you use words in place of fuck, it's worse. So, when you say fudge or dang it or gosh darn it,

Speaker 1 it's worse than just letting out a good fuck.

Speaker 3 Because you're suppressing the fuck.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so it's like a single thing. It feels within you.
So, Phil Rivers could have been, he already is a tough guy. He's played through a lot of injuries.

Speaker 1 Could you imagine what he would be like as a quarterback if he actually said fuck?

Speaker 3 Do you think if Phil Rivers starts cussing, then he wins the Super Bowl?

Speaker 1 Probably. Yeah.

Speaker 1 This is his final hill that he has to get over.

Speaker 3 I'll donate $1,000 to charity if Phil Rivers just says fuck on a video. Yes.
Do you hate charity, Phil?

Speaker 1 Come on, Phil. Say it.
Just say it. Cool throne and saying.
I'll call match in $1,000. It's got to be a

Speaker 1 real good

Speaker 1 fuck. Yeah.

Speaker 3 That's all you have to say. It doesn't have to be directed towards anyone.

Speaker 1 $2,000, Phil.

Speaker 1 All right. And then my cool throne is Dan Bilzerian

Speaker 1 because he had a tweet after everyone was participating in Blackout Tuesday saying people are more concerned with looking like a good person than being a good person, which would imply that Dan Bilzerian is a good person.

Speaker 3 Dan Bilzerian is saying that other people are too concerned with their image. Yes.
Instead of being a good person.

Speaker 1 And also accusing people of trying to look like a good person when really the important thing is acting like a good person, which he's never done.

Speaker 3 There's no airbrush for your conscience, and no one knows that better than you.

Speaker 1 What a tweet from him. Incredible.
Do we have to bleep out his last name?

Speaker 3 Yeah, Dan B. No, you don't.

Speaker 1 Dan and B. John B.
I would die for John B.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so that was a hell of a tweet from him. Good for him.
Like, hey, guys, stop worrying about your Instagram. Dan Bilzerian saying that.

Speaker 1 Stop worrying about your Instagram and social media and start worrying about making a change in your life.

Speaker 3 And start worrying about social media.

Speaker 1 Stop trying to post those 10 hot chicks in your private plane and get to fucking them.

Speaker 3 Yeah, Yeah, Dan Bilzerian is sick of everyone else posting pictures of their lavish lifestyles.

Speaker 3 That would be sick though if Dan Bilzerian gave up all his earthly possessions and became like into the wild and then got mauled by a grizzly bear.

Speaker 1 Oh by the way, if you just scroll, the fifth picture back is him with five women all naked with tits on Twitter, which I didn't know they allowed that, but it's pretty cool.

Speaker 1 But yeah, going through old pics, this book is going to be crazy crazy is what his tweet was only like two weeks ago.

Speaker 1 Good for him. Right.
Oh, he also has. We all have all.

Speaker 1 He's sitting next to, there's an Instagram model sitting in his lap, and he's got his computer out, and someone took the picture, and the headline is just writing my book.

Speaker 1 Yes, Dan. God damn it, Dan.

Speaker 3 Way to go, Dan. Thank you for taking his time.

Speaker 1 Hell yes, man.

Speaker 1 All right. Let's get to our interview.
We have Eric Roth,

Speaker 1 Hollywood. He's a movie writer, wrote Forrest Gump, wrote a bunch of great movies that you know.
Interesting conversation with him.

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Speaker 1 Okay, here he is, Eric Roth.

Speaker 1 Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. It is Screenwriter Academy Award winner.
He wrote Forrest Gump. You probably have seen it.
I'd say everyone in America has seen it. It's Eric Roth.

Speaker 3 It's my favorite movie of all time.

Speaker 1 Well, that was was going to be my first question. Is it weird? I think that if you asked everyone in America what their favorite movie is,

Speaker 1 you would win the popular vote in terms of Forrest Gump being the number one answer.

Speaker 5 Well, I mean, it feels amazing. Wait, I'll show you my Oscar.

Speaker 1 Oh, yes.

Speaker 1 Oscar in the house. Oscar in the house.
There will be. I really do think that, though.
Oh, my God. That's shiny.

Speaker 3 How heavy is that?

Speaker 5 Heavy. My father, after I won it, picked it up and he dropped it on a table.

Speaker 1 Did you, when you won the Oscar, were you like, that's it? I'm good?

Speaker 5 Yeah, I actually, yeah, because I'm very kind of, I'm basically kind of shy. And

Speaker 5 the idea of going up there to speak, I wanted to throw up, you know.

Speaker 5 But when they announced my name, it's just, you get this giant adrenaline rush. And I remember saying to myself, they can't take this away from me.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 5 That was sort of, yeah, that was that.

Speaker 5 It was

Speaker 5 an amazing experience. And I remember

Speaker 5 we had had three or four previews and we were on some kind of plane home, a private plane, after some giant screening in San Jose with Tom Hanks and the director Bob Zamakis and the studio people.

Speaker 5 And they just, they said that you will never be here again because this is like the most amazing reaction they've ever seen from a movie.

Speaker 5 So it was like, and I don't think, I obviously hadn't repeated that. I've had some nice things that have happened, but nothing like that.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 3 I heard a rumor that you write all your screenplays in MS-DOS.

Speaker 1 Is that true? I do. I do.

Speaker 5 It's a program called Movie Master that's long since out of existence. They couldn't figure out

Speaker 5 how to translate it to use it for email. So at some point and everything,

Speaker 5 the...

Speaker 5 advantage and disadvantage of it is that it runs out of memory after like 30 pages.

Speaker 5 So that's good for making act breaks. So you're potentially, you know, where your script could be a little bit shorter than longer.
And then the problem is if you fuck up and don't

Speaker 5 save it, you're going to lose it.

Speaker 5 But yeah, it's weird. I also have it backwards for some reason.

Speaker 5 I have white type on a black page and it should be the other way around if you're going to sort of imitate a typewriter.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's it.

Speaker 3 You're like Jim Harbaugh, the coach of Michigan. He writes all his plays.
Like he scripts out his playbook.

Speaker 3 furthermore, like every email that he sends, he types it all up in Excel. And then he copies and pastes or he just prints out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, this is crazy.

Speaker 5 It's just what I got. I'm not that, I'm sort of a Luddite with this stuff.
And I was just, I used to, I think Forrest Gump,

Speaker 5 I wrote it on typewriter, actually.

Speaker 3 Wow. Would you say that the book is better than the movie Forrest Gump? Or are you saying that that movie is better?

Speaker 5 I think it's not even close.

Speaker 3 I like that.

Speaker 5 There you go. I mean, I think the author is a talented man, and I

Speaker 5 couldn't have imagined it without him. But I think I just took off in my own direction, and something spoke to me.

Speaker 5 I know when I'm good, and I know I'm not so good. I know the movies I've written that are good, and those that just didn't work.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's interesting. So is there one that comes to mind where you're like, I wish I could have redone that a little bit?

Speaker 5 Yeah, like there's a movie, I mean, it's a little bit, the movie called Lucky You, which is a poker movie,

Speaker 5 which was with Eric Bona and Drew Barrymore that I wrote just as an original. And I'm not much of a poker player.
I don't have the patience for it, but I liked the whole idea of it.

Speaker 5 And I even named the main character after a kind of at that point, a well-known poker player called Huck Seed.

Speaker 5 And

Speaker 5 the movie just didn't work. But the director,

Speaker 5 I can't speak ill of him because it turned out he had Alzheimer's. And

Speaker 5 he died shortly thereafter.

Speaker 5 It was just a disappointment that the movie wasn't what I had hoped it would be, you know.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 But it could have been my fault i mean there's a few that probably i i screwed up yeah so speaking about writing which you just mentioned i saw uh an article where you gave the five keys to writing and number five was that writer's block doesn't exist

Speaker 5 yeah i've never i've never uh i i i've had places where i've gotten sort of stopped but um i just i just finished uh um a script for Clint Eastwood, which he hasn't gotten it yet.

Speaker 5 I sent it in like last week and it's going through our producer, Bradley Cooper, and he's just about to read it. So I hope he likes it.
But

Speaker 5 in that, I got stopped. And I realized, and what I, same thing, I had always advised people was

Speaker 5 change the weather. In other words, make it rain, make it snow, to do something different just with the weather.
And all of a sudden, you have a different look at things, you know.

Speaker 1 Wait, so change the weather in the script or change the weather?

Speaker 5 In the script, in the script, in the script. No, I can't change.

Speaker 5 I'm not that powerful.

Speaker 1 Well, I thought maybe you're like, I'm just going to fly to Alaska now and try to finish this off in the cold. That's a funny thing.

Speaker 5 Yeah. That's a funny.
Yeah. No, I just change the way.

Speaker 5 Maybe it's arrogance, though. I just probably have the arrogance to think I can overcome it.
And

Speaker 5 I've always sort of know what I'm writing. I know where I start and where I'm going to end.
The middle is kind of a big

Speaker 5 empty void, but then that's kind of what's fun about it, unless I'm doing a book or something, you know, adapting a book. I mean, I had a great thing happen yesterday.

Speaker 5 They announced they're going to finally do this movie of mine with Marty Scorsese scorsesi and um leonardo and bob de niro killers of the flower moon and that it's very expensive like 200 plus million and um they joined up apple and paramount to do it so it's really exciting i don't i have no clue when they'll shoot this thing with the way life is going is it like the irishman 2 no it's uh it's a great true story of 18 uh 1921 i'm sorry i'm bobbing around 1921 um

Speaker 5 uh oklahoma uh Osage Native American tribe,

Speaker 5 the poorest people probably on the planet or at least close to it or at least in America. And they're in the crappiest land you could imagine with kind of forced there.

Speaker 5 And they discover oil and they become one of the wealthiest people in America. And into that comes every Cretan creep known to man and kill 184 of them for their money.

Speaker 5 And into that comes this guy who was an ex-Texas Ranger and in the first class of the FBI and a pretty amazing human being named Tom White who cleans it all up.

Speaker 5 And the two guys who did the plan the murders are really fascinating people and

Speaker 5 I'm not sure which part Leonardo is going to end up playing. He may end up actually playing one of the killers, so we'll see.
But it's an incredible story. I don't know.

Speaker 5 People just never knew about it.

Speaker 3 We were talking to somebody yesterday about what the schedule is going to look like for new productions in Hollywood and what the release schedule is going to look like for the next year, year and a half.

Speaker 3 I mean, we all know that, you know, there's not a lot being filmed right now, but are you anticipating like fall of next year or winter of next year that there aren't going to be any movies?

Speaker 5 I just honestly can't tell because my partner's a doctor and she knows too much stuff that makes me nervous, you know? So,

Speaker 5 because I just talked to Marty's manager this morning and I'm saying, when does Marty want to make it? He said he'd love to make it this fall, whether he can, and maybe he has to go to Australia.

Speaker 5 I don't even know. It's It's an odd,

Speaker 5 I have a movie coming out. I want to pitch kind of that six people will go see, but it's pretty amazing that I did with David Fincher.

Speaker 5 That's going to come out in October on Netflix about the man who wrote Citizen Kane. It's a really incredible piece.
He did a black and white 30s movie. It looks like a 30s movie and feels like one.

Speaker 5 But so I'm curious how that plays. And then.

Speaker 5 I wrote Dune, which is supposed to come out, you know, at Christmas time, but one wonders what they're going to do with it because if you have to you know reorganize a theater and have only half the number of people there are they willing to accept 500 million dollars rather than a billion right right

Speaker 1 you're a writing machine now the question that everyone i'm sure you're running out of time i'm 75 years old with some pretty bad medical conditions so i'm trying to get everything done before the end of the thing i'll write a note to you guys before i leave yes so so the question obviously everyone uh has probably asked you a million times because i know there was a rumor that it was going to happen.

Speaker 1 Forrest Gump 2, are we going to get back on that horse?

Speaker 5 No, that won't happen. I mean,

Speaker 5 I'll tell you some things that were in it, but I did write the script and I turned it in on 9-10,

Speaker 5 the day before 9-11. And Bob and Zemekis, the director, and Forrest Hank, Tom Hank, Forrest Hank.
Tom Hanks and I sat together and we looked at each other and said, that's the end of this.

Speaker 5 The highlights in that were that he

Speaker 5 I have him get in the back of the Bronco, you know, the OJ Bronco, and they don't see him, and he kind of keeps popping up in the rearview mirror, which is pretty great. And

Speaker 5 I have him invent the wave in sports.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 5 Kind of getting up to call a peanut bender or something.

Speaker 1 That's right.

Speaker 5 And everybody follows suit.

Speaker 5 I have him as a ballroom dancer, like an expert at, and eventually dances as a kind of just,

Speaker 5 because she's there. He dances for the queen and Princess Diana.
And then he dances with Princess Diana and ends up,

Speaker 5 you know, you do those kind of things. And this poor woman ended up, you know, this way.
And I'm trying to think what else.

Speaker 5 To space, right?

Speaker 3 He went to space, right?

Speaker 5 No, that was in, that was supposed to be in the first, that was in the book. I never did that.

Speaker 1 Okay. I love these, though.
If you have any others, I love these.

Speaker 4 He

Speaker 5 have him.

Speaker 5 He's supposed to have been,

Speaker 5 oh, he finds his calling in life. He ends up calling bingo on a native at an Indian reservation.

Speaker 5 And he meets this woman, he lives within a trailer, and the end of the, basically toward the end of the movie,

Speaker 5 he waits for her every day

Speaker 5 at a federal building because she teaches in the nursery school there. And he's sitting there and the whole building blows up behind him.
It was the Oklahoma City bombing. Jesus.

Speaker 5 Now that was sort of the most horrible thing I could think of in humankind. And then 9-11, of course, happened.

Speaker 5 Now this has happened.

Speaker 5 So I'm trying to think what else is in the movie.

Speaker 5 The boy, the little boy, dies of AIDS

Speaker 5 early on in the movie. Lieutenant Dan gets shot.

Speaker 5 He runs for Congress and gets shot and killed.

Speaker 5 I mean, there's just all sorts of stuff that I think end up being pretty spectacular, but I think nobody had the stomach for it anymore, you know. So, uh, I don't miss it.

Speaker 5 I mean, it's like uh, it's a lovely once-in-a-lifetime kind of thing.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I have some questions actually about the movie Forrest Gump, some things that I've always wanted to know about it.

Speaker 3 When Forrest gets up at the Vietnam protest speech and they pull the cables on him, what what does he say in that speech that we don't get?

Speaker 5 I'm so glad you actually one of the great stories. I think it's a great movie story.
So

Speaker 5 I tried to write a really serious speech right about my feelings about the war and what you know it meant to a guy who fought in it etc etc and so it didn't quite work for the director and he said here you either have to write the greatest dramatic speech ever written like a shakespeare thing or something really funny and i said okay i'll try it so i wrote the best i could dramatically and he didn't dig it And then

Speaker 5 I tried to write something funny. I'm not by nature a comedian.
And I asked Billy Crystal to try it. He tried it.
Robin Williams tried it. I think John Lovett might have tried.

Speaker 5 Anyway, a bunch of comedians I had that I knew quite well, they tried it, didn't work. So what he did, Bob, was have him step up to that microphone and do exactly what you see.

Speaker 5 Have somebody pull the plug so you can't hear what he's saying because I never wrote the thing properly.

Speaker 5 And it's pretty genius because he has that guy who's supposed to look like Abby Hoffman next to him, you know, the radical guy who disappeared and all.

Speaker 5 And Abby Hoffman's the only one who hears it who says, you said it all, man.

Speaker 5 So that's, that was a true story. And I love that.
He's just, Zemekis is a wacky guy. He was pretty clever.

Speaker 3 That's great. My other question was,

Speaker 3 did you cry when you wrote Forrest's speech to Jenny's Gravestone?

Speaker 5 Yes, I did. I remember I wrote it in,

Speaker 5 we have a house in Whistler, Canada, and I remember being alone there and writing. I cried at that.

Speaker 5 I was very moved when the kid, you know, he says as a kid's kind of stupid like me, you know. Yeah.
Yeah, there are things. I cry, I do.
It's kind of embarrassing when I write some of this stuff.

Speaker 5 Like,

Speaker 5 and I do the dialogue like out loud. If you walked in the room, you'd think I was completely a moron.
You know, it's like, it sounds so terrible. I'm not an actor.
But certain things are like in

Speaker 5 Starsborn.

Speaker 5 I said to the woman

Speaker 5 who I'm living with something I looked out the window and said, I said her name and I said, Anne.

Speaker 5 And she turned around and I said, I just want to see you again I just wanted to see you look at you again and then I put that in like Starsborn you know

Speaker 1 Bradley Cooper says that to her so sometimes you can use your own thing what how writing a movie like starsborn where it's been done three times before is that harder or easier That was tough.

Speaker 5 That was four times, I think. And it's like, it scared the hell out of me.
I thought maybe I made a giant mistake. Right.
You know, when I said yes, Bradley was very persuasive

Speaker 5 and I loved working with him.

Speaker 5 He and I really, we were texting each other scenes and dialogue at four in the morning since either of us sleep.

Speaker 5 And Lady Gaga, you know, her voice is from God, you know.

Speaker 5 So, yeah, that worked. I mean, it's just, they said, I said, I'll write you a love story and hope people, you know, feel it.

Speaker 3 Yeah. So, I don't know how many people know this about you, but you also wrote Ali, which is another great movie.
And you got to spend some time with Muhammad Ali as you were writing.

Speaker 5 I had known him of a sort. I mean, when I was a kid, I boxed golden gloves and stuff because I was getting my ass kicked on the way to high school every day and in Bedford-Suyveson.
And

Speaker 5 so when I went and I used to work out at Gil Clancy's gym and then the pros would come on in the afternoon on Alida and I would stay and watch him and also met like Leroy Neiman there, remember the painter who did all the sports stuff?

Speaker 5 Anyway, so for years, we, you know, I went off and on about, and I also by chance had met Ferdie Pacheco in another incarnation. And

Speaker 5 so when the chance came to write that thing, I mean, I think Muhammad said to Michael Mann, the director, I want Eric to write it, which was really nice. He called Eric the writer, he called me.

Speaker 5 And he was a wonderful man. At that point, it was obviously challenged because of the Parkinson's.
But

Speaker 5 I want to do, you'll find this interesting, I think, when I was... researching the movie a little bit, but even though I knew a lot about boxing.

Speaker 5 And in the movies, a scene with uh where he fights jerry quarry if you remember jerry quarry um he was kind of a blown up light heavyweight really and it was ali's first fight back from um the vietnam thing um which i'll tell you a very quick story because i i had asked angelo dundee about this and i thought he's one of the great men on earth angelo and angelo was very upset that ali didn't um you know go to vietnam and but He said Angelo had fought, and I think his brother did too,

Speaker 5 in a terrible battle in World World War II called Anzio, where a lot of people died, like maybe 50,000 people died.

Speaker 5 And Angelo said, you know, I realized finally that that's the reason I fought in that battle. So

Speaker 5 somebody like Ali could have the choice to go into a war or not.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 It was really a pretty amazing, brave guy.

Speaker 5 But

Speaker 5 we were talking about Ali. I lost my train of thought.

Speaker 3 I was curious to know when you were writing that movie and dialoguing and having some conversations with Muhammad. Was it important to him?

Speaker 3 Or did you get a sense whether he wanted the movie to focus more on what he did in the ring as opposed to what he did outside the ring?

Speaker 1 No, I think he wanted everything.

Speaker 5 And we had the whole point of view of, you know, him being surveilled by the government and everything.

Speaker 5 My biggest problem with that movie, which was not, I think the movie's really terrific, but, and I thought Will Smith did a hell of a job and

Speaker 5 everybody did. But

Speaker 5 there's that great documentary when we are kings. And when we started writing, I said to Michael Mann, the director, I said, I'm never going to be able to top that.

Speaker 5 That's just so real and touching.

Speaker 5 But

Speaker 5 I think we kind of screwed up the ending if I had to redo the movie.

Speaker 5 I think

Speaker 5 the movie, I think, could have had a more effective ending.

Speaker 5 But

Speaker 5 I thought we did a good job of it for something that was difficult like that.

Speaker 1 That's interesting because when we were kings,

Speaker 1 if it came out now, I think people would be like, holy shit, this is the greatest documentary ever. It came out before documentaries kind of had their boom.
I remember my father made me watch it.

Speaker 1 He was like, You have to watch the documentary.

Speaker 1 But that's interesting that, like, something like that can not affect, you know, your writing, but you at least acknowledge it and, like, hey, I'm up against just that incredible piece of work.

Speaker 5 I never thought I could top that. There's just something so visceral and real and poetic about it, you know.
And when you're mine's not a documentary, you know, the thing I'm kind of proud of,

Speaker 5 I'm more than I'm proud of, the first 12 minutes of that movie doesn't have a word of dialogue, and it's just,

Speaker 5 what's his name, singing

Speaker 5 the guy who got shot going in the motel window.

Speaker 5 I forget this, but it's a brilliant piece of filmmaking by Michael. I mean,

Speaker 5 where you get everything that you want to know about Ali without a word, just a song over. And it's pretty amazing.

Speaker 1 It's him doing a live performance, and I don't know why it escapes me, his name right now, because he's a great, great performer what's up guys it's big cat here making my irish entrance with proper number 12 irish whiskey how do you make an irish entrance you ask it starts with a shot of proper number 12 irish whiskey because real friends don't let friends irish exit a party without a story to tell original proper number 12 is rich in a smooth blend of golden grain and single malt aged four years in bourbon barrels mix it up with some ginger ale for a classic and refreshing proper ginger.

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Speaker 1 So get out there and make your Irish entrance. Anything else just wouldn't be proper.

Speaker 3 Cool.

Speaker 1 And now, here's more, Eric Roth. A little birdie told me that you are a big horse player.
Is that true? Do you love the ponies?

Speaker 5 I do. Yeah,

Speaker 5 I'm kind of hooked.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 How often? Yeah, I had a bad day today.

Speaker 1 I didn't win a bet today. Did you have Churchill?

Speaker 1 Where did you play? Gulfstream and Churchill Downs. Did not win a single bet.

Speaker 5 I gave up on Churchill on the weekend. Yep.
Gulfstream, I've been doing amazing because you should get these guys. Mike,

Speaker 5 the workout report.

Speaker 5 If he gives a B-plus workout, they're 75% winners. I'm telling you.
And I did some big stuff recently, you know.

Speaker 5 But I think I'm about to give up playing Gulfstream and move on, but move just play a San Santa Anita. I think I've been playing too many tracks at once.

Speaker 1 That's absolutely when you have the moment where you look up and you're like, every seven minutes you have a race, that's usually a sign like, hey, maybe let's cool down.

Speaker 1 What's your, what do you usually play? Do you just play straight? Do you play exotics? Pick fives.

Speaker 5 No, no, no. I like to play

Speaker 5 since this came into being. I love playing pick fives.
Same.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 today I think I got... I had three pick fives that didn't get out of the first leg, which is the most demoralizing thing.

Speaker 5 Yeah, that was terrible. That's why I usually all the first leg and the last leg.

Speaker 1 That's smart.

Speaker 5 What I try to do, and it depends how much money I'm going to invest, but I can all the, if I can find two singles, you know, one race, this win, I'm just telling people who don't know their thing, and then I have three alls,

Speaker 5 you can really, you can, you know, as they say in horse racing, shit on yourself.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, there's nothing better than having the end of a pick five and having an all, and you can just root for the longest shot. That is the

Speaker 5 right.

Speaker 5 And it's sometimes like last week, um or a couple weeks i'm for some bizarre reason i'm always alive and uh when they give the giveaway and the pick six at gulfstream i've hit it a whole bunch of times and i hit it like three weeks ago yeah but i got so lucky because i had all on one ticket and another ticket had like seven horses and i missed i would have missed on that ticket oh wow

Speaker 1 you can't all all you can't beat all i like i like this makes me feel better when i talk to uh someone who also likes the ponies who's infinitely smarter than I am because it's like, hey, you know what?

Speaker 1 Like, if you're doing it and you have an Academy Award, you're looking at your Academy Award for Forrest Gump and you're playing a pick five at Gulfstream and losing just like me.

Speaker 5 I think I have a bigger thrill, but look,

Speaker 5 it can get bad for people who get it weighing over their heads, you know, and it's a, it can be an illness, obviously.

Speaker 3 I was going to say, you were mentioning that you hang out with Al Michaels a little bit out there.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 5 I actually, I didn't know him till now three months ago, really. I knew, well, I did know.

Speaker 5 We used to, he used to go to Vegas the same time I did for my birthday.

Speaker 5 He would go with a guy named Hank Goldberg, who you may remember, the horse race guy, and a guy named David Israel, who was a pretty well-known sports rider in LA.

Speaker 5 And they'd go, I think, for Al Michael's birthday. I could be wrong, but we'd end up somehow we always ended up together.
We ended up at a crap table together. You know, we both love crafts.
And

Speaker 5 so recently with the pandemic, I've been walking. I've been walking with Al and Tom Werner, who owns one of the owners of the Red Sox.

Speaker 5 And Al's the greatest storyteller. He's unbelievable.

Speaker 3 He strikes me as a guy that plays the ponies, too.

Speaker 5 He loves to play the horses. He's crazy.
Yeah,

Speaker 5 he's a pretty interesting dude. I like him very much.
He's a nice man.

Speaker 5 I didn't realize, you know, when you talked to him. He, first of all, knows sports, you know, chapter and verse, every sport.
And he's he's announced almost every sport.

Speaker 5 He announced the Belmont Stakes for like eight years in a row, which I never knew.

Speaker 1 I didn't realize that.

Speaker 5 Plus baseball, World Series, and obviously the hockey. And he's a hockey.
I'm a hockey guy like he is. We both love the king.

Speaker 3 Yeah, so growing up on the East Coast, now you're out on the West Coast,

Speaker 3 you still retain your New York fandoms?

Speaker 5 Yeah, I do. I do.
I mean, I can't. I mean, I...
I realized, I was at a Dodger game like this year, I think, or last year and

Speaker 5 last year, obviously,

Speaker 5 that I probably was one of the few people who actually went to Ebbets Field in the whole ballpark. I mean, except for maybe Tommy Lasorda, you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 5 Vince Cully isn't around anymore doing.

Speaker 5 So I remembered really well my grandfather was a little Russian guy who never really spoke great English, but called the Phoebe Reese. He loved Peewee Reese.

Speaker 5 He'd buy an apple box. It costs you like literally a quarter or something.
And we stood on Apple boxes out in the outfield, you know, in the right field bleachers, basically, and watched the games.

Speaker 5 And I went to one World Series game with him where I think it was 1956 or 7.

Speaker 5 And the whole team I can still remember, you know, like yesterday, but I can still remember what it felt like to be at that ballpark.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 5 But that just says I'm old.

Speaker 1 No, but it's much more old. Yeah, it's fascinating.
And you actually, I mean, you have some elements of Forrest Gump in your life.

Speaker 1 You were college friends with Jim Morrison, is that correct?

Speaker 5 Yeah, very good, very close friends. Yep.
I still have a jacket up there.

Speaker 1 When you meet a guy like that, did you know right away, like, this guy has it?

Speaker 5 No, except for I thought, this guy's lucky. Look how great looking this guy is.

Speaker 5 He's going to score all the time, you know?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 One of the memories I had of him was

Speaker 5 I was sitting at the Hollywood Bowl and people have to know what that looks like, but empty Hollywood Bowl and he's rehearsing. It was just him singing.

Speaker 5 And I was sitting with his manager a guy named todd shipman and um it was unbelievable he was singing you know la woman you know it was like i'm still friends with john densmore the drummer yeah um jim was a complicated guy let's put it that way yeah yeah jim actually i'll tell you a quick story about him that he and i'm trying to think of the guy's name now um

Speaker 5 The guy's brother is a doctor, a dentist in LA. Anyway, he wrote a book about it.
This guy was a young man.

Speaker 5 He was like literally 13 years old and he was a Doors fanatic and he was playing Little League Baseball and the umpire said, if you hit a home run, I'll take you to a Doors concert, right? And he did.

Speaker 5 He had a home run. He got to Doors Con.
That's a story. Anyway, he then decided he wasn't going to school anymore and he went and hung out.
They used to have a recording studio on Sunset and

Speaker 5 Santa Monica. When I drive by, I'll never forget, you know, just coming out of there.
And

Speaker 5 he went there like almost every day. And finally,

Speaker 5 the Doors manager said, you can't be here. You're a 13-year-old.
You got to get the hell out of here. So he went outside and he was sitting on a bus bench crying.
And

Speaker 5 Jim Morrison pulled up and his car dropped off, whatever. And he said, what are you crying about? He said, I just

Speaker 5 told me I couldn't be here anymore. And he said, fuck him.
He's fired. And you're our new manager.
And it's a true story.

Speaker 1 Jesus.

Speaker 5 They let this kid manage them when he was 13 or 14 years old. And he went on to manage like Iggy Pop and a couple of other people.

Speaker 5 He was pretty well known. I don't know if he really did anything, but we were gonna, Fincher wanted to make that into a movie and the guy

Speaker 5 from Limp Biscuit was going to direct it.

Speaker 1 Fred Durst?

Speaker 5 Yeah, I liked him. He was a pretty great guy.
Hell yeah.

Speaker 5 And nothing happened with it. We were going to do sort of a movie like, you remember the French director of True Faux about sort of people growing up, what it feels like to grow up.

Speaker 5 Anyway, I thought it was a great story.

Speaker 3 That's fat. I would have loved to see a movie directed by Fred Durst.
Yeah, I wish that had happened.

Speaker 1 Fred Durst, yeah.

Speaker 5 Fred came out to my house a bunch of times and he has a son named Cowboy.

Speaker 1 And Fred's a,

Speaker 5 he's a, he's an interesting dude, I'll tell you. I mean, I was never a fan one way or another of his music, particularly, but he, he certainly, uh, he's cutting edge.

Speaker 5 And I remember him sending me, I don't know if he wants to have me say this, but pretty outrageous photographs of him with women from like Lithuania, from some concerts he was at.

Speaker 3 there you know is he still rocking the backwards red hat all the time

Speaker 5 i don't know i haven't seen him. I mean, we, we, out of the blue, he like would text me, you know, and then we talk through that.
And we just haven't gotten together.

Speaker 5 I just thought he was a great guy.

Speaker 3 Interesting. I want to jump back to one thing that you mentioned was the beginning of Ali, where it was, I think it was Sam Cook that was singing, right?

Speaker 1 Sam Cook is exactly right.

Speaker 3 Yeah, great, great singer.

Speaker 3 The use of montages in movies has always fascinated me because from a writing perspective, it's almost like a cheat code where you're like, okay, I get to eat up three minutes of this.

Speaker 1 That's right.

Speaker 5 Well, well you're very smart i mean first of all that started with the russian sergey eisenstein a movie called battle of potemkin a battleship potemkin he began with the montage but you know it's like you can't you can't tell someone's whole life story it would take you you know if it's 30 years of a guy's life it could take you 30 years so you have to figure out ways to do impressions of things of people's lives right and so you have to condense that to two hours or whatever so that's exactly what a montage does.

Speaker 5 And I used to call these, I don't know what they call them, like round delays where you'd have something in the middle and then three or four things going on around it, where you keep cutting back and forth.

Speaker 1 Ali has that in a.

Speaker 3 Is there a limit to how many montages you'll put in a movie?

Speaker 5 I don't think there's.

Speaker 5 I think you don't want to do too many because it's sort of like it's a little bit of a cheat and it starts getting a little too familiar.

Speaker 5 I think it's okay to intercut, though, which are almost like montages where you have some central piece of action.

Speaker 5 They do this always in action movies and stuff, where you're going back and forth between, so you have a tension between what's going on.

Speaker 3 Here's an idea. What about a movie that's just one montage, hour and a half-long montage?

Speaker 5 Well,

Speaker 5 I think that'd be okay, but I think you feel like it looked like a commercial.

Speaker 1 Yeah, true. Commercials are cool.

Speaker 5 Like some can be great. I mean, I think you could, I don't know if you could do an hour and a half one.
I mean,

Speaker 5 the opposite of is of movies like Andy Warhol used to make, like a movie called Sleep, right? He had a guy sleeping for 18, whatever, eight hours. Yeah.
Yeah. And you can go in any time.

Speaker 5 I'll tell you an amazing movie. I don't know why you reminded me of this, is that there's a movie called The Clock that an artist did, an English artist, and they show it in museums.

Speaker 5 And what he did was take from

Speaker 5 every movie he could find, he had people research it. Like, let's assume.

Speaker 5 he's looking for something that says either on a watch or a clock 1114 and every minute he has another shot from a movie that shows the time, and he does it for 24 hours. It's pretty amazing.
Wow.

Speaker 5 Pretty amazing. So, there you go.
That's something close to what you're suggesting. Yeah.

Speaker 3 What about the movie 1917? Isn't that like a little bit of a cheat, too, where you don't have to worry about writing like exterior setting up new shots and stuff since it's all one shot?

Speaker 5 I don't know if it's a cheat. I mean, I think everything's a

Speaker 5 trying to find a way to dramatize things, you know? So

Speaker 5 classic structure is three acts, right? Shakespeare did four acts, but

Speaker 5 you have your setup, right?

Speaker 5 You know, present the problem, complicate the problem, and then solve the problem. That's basically what writing is, you know, and

Speaker 5 the third act, your catharsis, you know, something, and then you either do it by within the characters themselves, or what they call DSX Machina.

Speaker 5 You bring in a sort of God in a machine, is what that literally translates to. That you're just going to solve this by some magic, you know.

Speaker 5 So,

Speaker 5 but you can, my scripts are particularly long because i'm a frustrated novelist and so it's like brad pitt had a great line for me once he was we were doing a read-through of benjamin button and uh he said look at eric he's got a prose boner

Speaker 5 which is pretty funny and uh

Speaker 5 uh so but i i've written scripts of like the 70 80 pages too well you know in other words it's if you can tell it in a short period of time that could be better what's uh

Speaker 1 since you've been in the industry for so long and you and you know all these movies you've written some of the best, what are, if you had to pick five movies to take with you, those are the five movies you can watch for the rest of your life and no other movies, what are Aerocross' five movies?

Speaker 1 Can't be your own.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I think those are hard, but I think definitely Godfather 2,

Speaker 5 without a question.

Speaker 5 2001,

Speaker 1 Space Odyssey.

Speaker 5 Amaccord, the Fellini movie, which you may or may not know.

Speaker 5 And you're going to get me. Maybe Citizen Kane.

Speaker 5 Maybe.

Speaker 5 And the fifth one.

Speaker 1 The fifth one has to be the last decade.

Speaker 5 The last, oh, from 2000 to 2000.

Speaker 1 2010 to 2020 for your last one.

Speaker 5 It's the fight club in that era?

Speaker 1 Yeah, we'll count that. It's modern.

Speaker 5 That's close enough. I would take the fight club, yeah.
Okay. David,

Speaker 5 cinchures beyond. I mean, of everybody, I mean,

Speaker 5 I haven't made a movie movie with Marty.

Speaker 5 We've done a few warm-ups, you know, and I gave him the book of The Irishman, which is called

Speaker 5 Here You Paint Houses. But David Fincher, to me, is the best, probably, let's say Marty and him, best living directors.
David's unbelievable.

Speaker 3 So it sounds like you know everybody in Hollywood, just like the names that you've listed in the

Speaker 3 20 minutes.

Speaker 5 Well, I've been around for almost 60 years, you know. Yeah.

Speaker 3 Who's the most famous person right now in Hollywood that you don't know?

Speaker 5 that i don't know i don't i don't really know quentin tarantino uh

Speaker 5 um that'd be off the top of my head um

Speaker 5 uh

Speaker 5 i don't know uh some of the younger directors i don't really know i don't know damian gisezelle i've met him but i don't know him i mean i i'm i literally i've been around so i worked for john wayne

Speaker 5 I did a treatment for John Wayne at one point. Wow.
But that's just age, you know?

Speaker 1 Yeah, but it's, I mean, it's incredible.

Speaker 5 Oh, I mean, you guys, you guys 30 years from now can talk about all the sports people you knew and everything.

Speaker 3 Blake Portals.

Speaker 1 Yeah, true. Yeah.
You guys were immortal.

Speaker 5 You guys were immortals. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 This has been fantastic. I have one last question.
And mind you, we can totally cut this out if it's too personal or anything.

Speaker 5 Those things I'll answer. The only thing I

Speaker 5 don't want to, I won't usually, I mean, everybody says you should write a memoir, and I know too many things about people that I wouldn't do it because I'd have to tell the truth and and it would be too hurtful.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So the question I was going to ask, and again, you can just say cut this out, but

Speaker 1 you were involved in the Bernie Madoff scam. You lost money.
Yeah. What was that moment like where that shock? Because I think a lot of people go through it in their head and they're like, oh, my God.

Speaker 5 I had

Speaker 5 two reactions. One was my business manager.

Speaker 5 Said, are you sitting down? Right. This was like, this was almost like Christmas Eve or something.
Yeah. He said, all that money's gone.
I said,

Speaker 5 so I, I mean, I was upset by it, but on the other hand, I thought the whole thing was weird anyway, because I got involved. I think I didn't invest really ton of money.

Speaker 5 I mean, for me, it was a lot of money, like $10,000, let's say.

Speaker 5 But each, every four years, you got these statements where you had like, I think we ended up supposedly having like $12 million, $15 million,

Speaker 5 you know, but. On the other hand, it's like a weird thing with,

Speaker 5 it was like a bad, it's like a short story, you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 5 Like, but I never did a penny to I did nothing to earn it I knew nothing about anything with financial stuff and I didn't even know what the guy was doing I mean it was a guy named Stan Chase Chase who ran the operation in

Speaker 5 in Los Angeles in Hollywood he had a lot of Hollywood people I think Spielberg got involved and Jeffrey Katzenberg and other people they people lost some real money and

Speaker 5 he

Speaker 5 I was explained that he was doing some sort of thing called an arbitrage, which was sort of middling like blue chip stocks

Speaker 5 and you get a percentage of it. It was all bullshit.
But I didn't really care. I said, look, if he's winning this money playing

Speaker 5 games, he's betting sports and doing it. Good for him because it kept showing these profits.

Speaker 5 But I thought they were kind of ridiculous without, you know, you were getting 25% on your money every year.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 5 Which is, you're doubling every two, four years. It's like ludicrous.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 5 So the money, though, I did think was my retirement, you know, and then there it went.

Speaker 3 Oh, well, yeah, just yeah, that's got to be quite a conversation to have to like just sort through that mentally. Might take you a couple of days to wrap your mind around it.

Speaker 5 Yeah, no, it was. Yeah, um, I think we ended up getting a little money back, actually.

Speaker 1 Did you like, did you go and read the books or like get fascinated with it, even though it was pretty costly?

Speaker 5 No, I thought I just was a sucker for a Ponzi scheme, you know? Yeah, which I mean, it was actually in a way,

Speaker 5 I hate to say this because he took so much money from people with charities and stuff. It's sort of good for for him in a way.
It was like he built a great con.

Speaker 5 Right. But

Speaker 5 nah, I didn't have any. I just thought it was pretty, it was pretty clever.
I mean, they're psychologically genius because they literally would just send over a fax machine

Speaker 5 a completely just,

Speaker 5 there's nothing fancy. They didn't send you big kind of brochures or anything of how you're doing.
They just.

Speaker 5 piece of paper and it just said on it my my comp corporation was called vanessa corporation at the time or something and it just said how much money you had in there how much you made as profit how much you know that kind of thing and then they wouldn't let they wouldn't let um

Speaker 5 I said well this is too good to be true but maybe it's true and I try to get like my dad involved right and they they wouldn't take the other thing they wouldn't take any new people that you had to have it's just your investment period wow and yeah it's pretty pretty clever thing psychologically I think it's appealed to greed you know yeah yeah one thing I've noticed a lot recently is that there are a lot of biopics that come out and some of them come out while the person is still alive and their story is still very much being told.

Speaker 3 And then there's the other, which is like the retrospect. Maybe they've been passed away for a couple of years and kind of their legacy has time to submit itself a little bit.

Speaker 3 If you're writing that person's story, is it more difficult to write about somebody who passed away 20 years ago? Or is it easier to write about somebody who's still alive and can very much be like,

Speaker 5 it depends on the lives. I think they're both possible and probably

Speaker 5 i have to find some way in on both of them i mean uh i did a screenplay that's probably never going to see the light of day but on a guy who's alive who i i love and uh david geffen

Speaker 5 and um

Speaker 5 you know and he's alive and you know i know him

Speaker 5 as i said i adore him warts and all so we did some of that and So that was just

Speaker 5 that had the advantage of this man who, aside from being so wealthy, but did really good things for the planet and also was so instrumental in the music that was basically the soundtrack of my life.

Speaker 5 You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 5 So

Speaker 5 that one was the music that really appealed to me.

Speaker 5 Other biographies, I mean, I think

Speaker 5 trying to think, Ali was obviously that guy. He meant so much to me.
I mean, I think the main thing about writing anything like Boner Dogs, which I'm working on, is

Speaker 5 you have to have passion about it.

Speaker 1 You should, if you could, you just write boner dogs and then bury it somewhere. And then in like 30 years, we'll go find it.
And then that will be its own movie. Us finding the script.
How you

Speaker 1 guys.

Speaker 5 But maybe I just leave you clues on how to find it.

Speaker 1 There you go.

Speaker 3 Imagine if we just did a documentary about finding the script.

Speaker 1 Instead of boner dogs, we just do a documentary about it.

Speaker 5 Exactly. So it's like, you know, like National Treasure, one of those movies.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Well,

Speaker 5 we'll have to do it somehow involved with sports, though. Yeah.
That's sort of what we're calling this Barstool Radio about, right?

Speaker 1 Right, yeah, yeah. And

Speaker 5 you're just killing time now before sports startup again.

Speaker 1 Right, exactly. Right.

Speaker 5 When I was with Tom Werner today, he came over to talk, and he was like, they seem to actually maybe be moving toward getting baseball going in some way.

Speaker 5 They would like to.

Speaker 5 I think it's complicated like every sport. Hockey seems very possible.
Yes.

Speaker 1 And basketball seems like it's going to happen as well.

Speaker 5 Yeah. And then I don't know.
I don't know anything about it, but Al Michaels felt pretty serious if football is going to happen, what you like it or not.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the NFL doesn't care. They're just going to full steam ahead.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 That's what I wondered. Don't they have any protocols?

Speaker 1 No, no, what fires? Yeah. Rub some dirt on it.
That's the protocol.

Speaker 1 Guess what you won't be thinking about when it's one o'clock on a Sunday and you fire up the red zone channel, the coronavirus. So that's no, by the way, hello.

Speaker 5 I mean, it's like even even I, and this is cruel, but

Speaker 5 I remember seeing a thing about like Tony Dorsett. I think maybe I'm wrong, but maybe he has that CTE.
I think he might.

Speaker 5 Anyway, I was reading on the internet some story about some famous football player who had it. And my eye went to the right that said the greatest runs in whatever is NFL history.

Speaker 5 And forget about the CTE. I was watching these runs and I said, that's pretty rotten.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. It's true.

Speaker 5 The NFL definitely plows right ahead well if you can my my my partner being as I said a doctor and pretty um pretty savvy so we sometimes watch uh and I won't mention names but we I watch I like to watch those

Speaker 5 the training camp things the hard knocks yeah they're pretty great and the one on the Raiders was amazing and she could tell you people who have CTE already because they start acting start believing in demons and things you know and uh it's pretty pretty tragic yeah yeah but uh But what's better than NFL football?

Speaker 1 Nothing. Nothing.
Nothing.

Speaker 1 This has been great. We really appreciate your time.
Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 5 We didn't talk any sports. What the hell?

Speaker 1 It's been awesome to talk about.

Speaker 5 We want to do it again. We'll talk about next time gamblers.
Yes. Like poker players.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Like Toby Maguire. Yes.
Yeah, we'll leave something on there so we can do it again.

Speaker 3 Wait, wait, do you have a poker game, a Hollywood poker game that?

Speaker 5 No, I don't.

Speaker 5 I just enjoy watching, and I know that Toby Maguire is the best poker player in America.

Speaker 1 There you go.

Speaker 5 And I could tell you also stories about a lot of Vegas guys, you know, like lunatics, you know?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 But that's, it's just, I just find it fun, but it's not my life.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Fascinating.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Tell you what, we'll let you go. We'll let you get to work on Boner Dogs.
And

Speaker 1 I'm just,

Speaker 5 I'm just, the title sequence is almost done.

Speaker 1 Perfect. That's what I want to hear.

Speaker 1 Well, thank you so much. Really? Thank you.
I love this.

Speaker 5 This is so funny. I love that my son set this up so ridiculously.
Absolutely.

Speaker 1 That's how we get to a lot of our guests, to be honest.

Speaker 5 And you've had the best. You had Koopelman on here.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Yes, yes.
You know him? He's a good friend.

Speaker 5 I only know him on telephone, but I think he wrote the best gambling movie ever written, probably.

Speaker 3 Rounders,

Speaker 3 yeah, he told us what The Last Hand was. Do you know it?

Speaker 5 No, I don't know it well enough. Well, thank you so much.

Speaker 1 You're always welcome back on, so we'd love to do it again sometime.

Speaker 5 I'll do it anytime you want. I'd love this.
You guys stay safe, okay? No illness.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you too. You too.

Speaker 1 I'm not going back to college to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber One for students.
It saves you on Uber and Uber Eats.

Speaker 1 I'm there for $0 delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 10% off smoothies, and 6% Uber credits back on rides. Just to be clear, I'm there for savings, not whatever you think college is for.

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Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Oh, before we get to a Mount Rushmore, we are reviewing Sour Grapes on Friday's show. Sour Grapes?

Speaker 3 Sour Grapes.

Speaker 3 I'm told it's a documentary about a young man who swindles professional wine collectors. So that sounds good to me.

Speaker 1 How can you watch it?

Speaker 3 How can the people watch it? I know it's on Netflix. Okay, I don't know where else, but it's on Netflix.
Boom.

Speaker 1 Boom. All right, perfect.
So Sour Grapes Friday's show. Get ready for it.

Speaker 1 Let's do Mount Rushmore. We're going to do a Mount Rushmore in honor of Billy Football getting a new puppy, Mount Rushmore, of things we love about dogs.
So, Billy, we will let you start.

Speaker 1 Well, Billy start, PFT, then myself, then we'll come back around. Billy, Mount Rushmore of things we love about dogs.

Speaker 1 Okay, so something my new puppy does is that he's got these huge paws because he's going to be like 120 pounds and

Speaker 3 right now he's really small.

Speaker 1 So whenever he runs really fast, he falls over and does a somersault, but is able to get back into running. And it's like the cutest thing ever.

Speaker 3 When they trip and recover.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's awesome. Okay.
Yeah, that's pretty cute.

Speaker 3 I love how puppies are so resilient. And dogs are resilient in general.
Like if they fall down, nothing fazes them.

Speaker 3 All right, good pick. My first one.

Speaker 3 I'm going to go with their greetings. A dog greeting.
Nothing like it.

Speaker 3 If you've been away from your house for a long time you come back home the instant your dog sees you and recognizes you it makes you feel like you're the best person in the world

Speaker 1 okay um yeah that was a that was a pretty easy one there i had that as well i'll go uh

Speaker 1 the inquisitive ears slash look when a noise or you know like your dog's like trying to learn something new and they give you that sideways glance the head tilt oh the best the head tilt and the ears tell those ears pop up and she's like What's that?

Speaker 3 Yeah, the head tilt is so cute. Yes.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 My second pick, I will go with

Speaker 1 when they just, when they simply just hop up and sit next to you, lay next to you, curl up next to you, and they're like, Let's just have some good time where we just kind of just chill, and you pet me, and I'm just going to chill here, and we're going to have fun.

Speaker 3 It's one of those moments where you know that they love you as much as you love them.

Speaker 1 And it's just good old times.

Speaker 1 Yeah, good old times with the dog just sitting on the couch right now.

Speaker 3 All right, PFT. My next one, I'm going to go with something that we've talked about on the show before: the smell of their feet.

Speaker 3 I love a good dog foot smell.

Speaker 3 We call it the free toes because it smells like corn chips and it's on their little nails. It's so cute.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 1 My next pick, sort of in the same vein as Big Hat, but when they pick up on your emotions.

Speaker 3 It's like when you're sick and your dog knows and lays down next to you, yeah, it's good.

Speaker 1 Or, you know, it's like something happens and you're kind of like tweaking out and they just like run up to you and just like be like, yo, what's what's going on? Chill out.

Speaker 3 I like that Billy went there like when you're tweaking heavy off pre-workout and your dog can tell

Speaker 1 it's lifting time.

Speaker 3 It puts its chin on you to calm you down to reduce your heart rate.

Speaker 1 Is that okay?

Speaker 1 Oh, snake drive, snake drive. Snake drive, snake drive.
Snake drive.

Speaker 3 When you haven't done cardio recently, and it makes you take it for a run so that you can loosen that body fast.

Speaker 1 That's one of the reasons I got a dog.

Speaker 1 When they are shy.

Speaker 1 So my puppy, he's really shy.

Speaker 1 So like the first dog he ever met was like a shih tzu and it's like 15 pound dog and my dog's like a 20 pound puppy and he like was totally scared of this tiny shih tzu and he like it when dogs are scared when no no no but like tail between legs like shy like ram behind me and i was like this is a freaking like

Speaker 3 fluff ball like okay i will say that um there was one time that i took leroy to a dog park and a chihuahua got buck at him and Leroy at the time I think was about 180 pounds and the chihuahua was three or four pounds and Leroy ran across the entire park with his tail between his legs and hid behind me.

Speaker 3 And then everyone was laughing at him. Yeah, and he didn't know, but it was cute.

Speaker 1 It was so cute. Yeah.

Speaker 3 All right. Okay.
Good choice.

Speaker 3 I'm going to go with

Speaker 3 when they're eating food, when you fed them, and they take a few bites, and then they turn around and they look at you and wag their tail while they're eating. And

Speaker 3 they're definitely saying, thank you for feeding me. Yeah, this shit's good.

Speaker 1 That's so fucking cute. This shit's boss.
Okay, I'll go with

Speaker 1 the when

Speaker 1 I assume most dogs do this, but Stella does it because she's smaller.

Speaker 1 When they're laying down or curled up and they tuck their nose underneath their back leg, they tuck their nose in to for a little warmth. That's the cutest thing ever.
Does your dog do that, Liam?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Bubba's dog.
I don't know if Leroy might be too big.

Speaker 3 He's not spry, he's not flexible enough.

Speaker 1 He's got it, you got to get him into some pilots.

Speaker 3 That's like what a bird does when they fall. They touch their biggest damage.

Speaker 1 He tucks right in and is just so fucking cute. And then I'll go with my last pick, the first tennis ball throw.

Speaker 1 The first tennis ball throw when your dog just loses their fucking mind and they're like, this is awesome. And that like first burst of energy, nothing better.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 The way they take off.

Speaker 1 They run so fast and they're so excited and it's like the best thing ever. And then Stella usually stops after like throw four, but that first throw, it's fucking sick.
That's really good.

Speaker 1 Stella has that thing where, you know, how, you know, some dogs are like a little too smart for their own good. After the fourth throw, she's like, yeah, I'm not doing this anymore.
Yeah, this is.

Speaker 1 Like, I caught the tennis. I got the tennis.

Speaker 3 Why do I keep bringing it back to you?

Speaker 1 She just will go, and then she'll literally just run by it and be like, nah, I'm not bringing that back to you. I'm going to fucking go and run around.

Speaker 3 That's the Kenny Powers method. It's like, I'm not going to pick that shit up.

Speaker 1 It's heavy. Yeah.

Speaker 3 My last one,

Speaker 3 that they're very good.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's a cop-out. Come on, do you want a different one? Yeah, do a different one when they nail a scoop, when they nail a scoop, yeah, when they nail a scoop, okay, very good dog.

Speaker 1 That's fair, that's fair, okay.

Speaker 1 All right, Billy just you know what Billy just did, yeah. He did the dog, Billy just did the dog

Speaker 1 head tilt, yeah, head tilt, huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? I'm learning something, huh? When the scoop, when a dog nails a scoop,

Speaker 1 um,

Speaker 1 my last one is

Speaker 1 when

Speaker 1 they kind of have that sort of in the the same vein of the first uh tennis throw when they just freak out and just like like they're just super energized. Wait, what? They just freak out.
For what?

Speaker 3 They just you just because they're scared, which is.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no. They just freak out.
They just run around like a crackhead. For what? For anything.
I don't know. They just sometimes they just start running.

Speaker 3 Can I

Speaker 1 translate you, Billy? The zoomies.

Speaker 3 So you're talking about when a dog just has so much energy they don't know what to do with themselves and they like jump up in the air or they run past you as big cats referring to yeah the zoomies.

Speaker 1 When it just goes back and forth,

Speaker 1 yeah, yeah, and then he does the summer. That means you need to walk your dog.
I know, I know, but it's so cute. Yeah, it's just there's a running around.
No, you also have a puppy, so that's fair.

Speaker 1 There were times when we would go when Stella was a little, it was a puppy, or just like a young dog, we'd go for a fucking crazy long walk to the park, and then still at night, she would just like fucking bolt with energy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's like awesome.

Speaker 1 Um, all right, uh, things that missed. Uh, how about that? All dogs go to heaven.

Speaker 3 That's also true.

Speaker 1 Yep. Um,

Speaker 1 When they kiss you on the lips.

Speaker 1 I love that.

Speaker 1 I had roll in the grass, which people say they're actually just rolling and poop you.

Speaker 3 Don't

Speaker 1 be the fact checker that's like this.

Speaker 3 Listen, please don't share this picture of a dog kissing you on the lips. They only do that because they're nervous.

Speaker 1 Yeah, for sure. Don't be that.
Yeah, no. I hate that.
No.

Speaker 3 I think

Speaker 3 mama dogs are really cute with their puppies. Yes.
When they like make sure that they're all women.

Speaker 1 When they grab them by the scruff of the neck. Yeah, that's so cute.
That's the best.

Speaker 3 A mama dog carrying a baby dog around, a puppy around is so cute.

Speaker 1 What about first time the father dog gets to see the litter? Oh.

Speaker 1 Yeah, look what I did. Yeah, I made this.

Speaker 1 He's like, what? Oh, me. Yeah, I guess I have to.
My kids?

Speaker 3 Those kids aren't mine.

Speaker 1 Specifically, more specific on the greetings, my favorite is the greeting when they're so, so excited that they like...

Speaker 1 almost like bow and they they're they go like anti-energy you know when like a greeting can be happy jumping up, but when they're so, they're like losing their mind so much, they almost like try to crawl underneath you.

Speaker 3 That's the best. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Go ahead, Bubba.

Speaker 4 I've had beagles and my old dog specifically, its ears would get in the water when she would drink water and then get up and then shake her head off every time.

Speaker 1 It's awesome. Hell yes.

Speaker 3 When they don't know that they're in water and they shake to try to get dry.

Speaker 1 That's always cute.

Speaker 1 When they find the sun spot in the apartment and then they start panting because they're so fucking hot and you're like, you idiot. You're the one who sat there.

Speaker 1 Dude, dude, so I taught my puppy to swim the other day, and now every time I pick it up, like with two hands, it just starts trying to swim. Dude, make a video.
I'll make a video. I'll make a video.

Speaker 1 Make a video.

Speaker 1 What are you doing, Billy? Make a fucking video and then give it to us and we're going to tweet it from part of my table. Yeah, I will.
I will. I will.
And it just does a thing. It does a thing.

Speaker 1 And then... Oh, you actually, are you wearing a collar? No, I just.

Speaker 1 This is change.

Speaker 1 You're wearing a collar.

Speaker 1 Do it again. Do it again.

Speaker 1 Billy's excited, everyone. No, then

Speaker 1 when my puppy loves belly rubs, so sometimes he'll just run at me and just jump and land on its back. Yeah.
Just be like, rub me. Yeah.

Speaker 3 You know what another good one is? When they get a scratch, when you scratch them, and they start doing the leg thing on their own.

Speaker 1 The Phantom H is a good one. The

Speaker 1 peanut butter on the nose and watching them just lick it off with their fucking big tongue. That's the best.

Speaker 3 When they hear a can opener. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Or the refrigerator. When you start to learn something.
For a bag.

Speaker 1 Anytime I stand up. Packaging.

Speaker 3 When I open a box.

Speaker 1 Stella just follows me because she knows that if I stand up, there's like an... 80% chance I'm getting food.

Speaker 3 What's really cool is sometimes, so I used to bring Leroy into the bathroom with me when he was a little puppy because I couldn't trust him. You freak a deke.

Speaker 3 No, I couldn't trust him by himself, like in my bedroom or roaming the house. Yeah, that's a good excuse.

Speaker 3 So I would just like bring him in there and I'd handle my my business and leave so every now and again if i'm in the bathroom he comes in and he just noses the door open and just checks in on me he's like okay you're there and then just walks out yep oh you know what another really cute thing is when your dog decides that it's time to go to bed at night yes so like puts puts themselves to bed sometimes leroy would be like downstairs as i'm watching television and uh then at like 10 10 30 he would just stand up calmly and walk upstairs and go to his couch he decided it was bedtime yep it's time to go i i know i'll get people say I'm a bad dog owner for this one, but I do love when she doesn't do it often, but every now and then Stella will put her paws up on the kitchen counter when I'm like making something, and that's the cutest thing ever.

Speaker 3 You're a bad dog owner.

Speaker 1 Yeah, bad dog owner.

Speaker 1 One more.

Speaker 1 My puppy hasn't been around other male dogs yet, so it still pisses without putting its leg up. You've got to teach it.

Speaker 3 That's on you, Billy. You got to get in the backyard on all fours and lift your leg.

Speaker 1 I'll take him to the bathroom with me, and we'll do it there.

Speaker 3 No, you got to, no, it's not going to understand. Then it's going to pee in the bathroom.
You have to take your dog out back and you need to pee by lifting your leg.

Speaker 1 Okay. I'll take a video too.
Yeah. Do that.

Speaker 3 Show us that.

Speaker 3 Also, speaking of dogs peeing when they hold their bladder for 18 hours because the elevator in your apartment's broken like we did yesterday.

Speaker 3 You went from 11 p.m. at night until 6 p.m.
the next day without peeing because the elevator was broken.

Speaker 3 I couldn't carry him down the stairs because it was too narrow and he's too heavy and he wiggles when you pick him up.

Speaker 3 So I didn't want him to fall on his ass and and hurt himself right and so i was just expecting that he was going to pee on the living room floor with newspapers everywhere and stuff he held his bladder for 18 hours and then he got out outside and it was he let loose the floods of hell like noah was building an ark in the street yeah wow how do you know that he didn't learn how to use the toilet from you all those times true

Speaker 1 he's secretly taking a piss yeah That would suck if Leroy just, if you caught Leroy jerking off into the toilet. He's like, how'd you learn that? Yeah.

Speaker 1 um all right only other one I had was when they hear themselves on video like if you play a video of them barking or whining and then they start whining or barking they're like hey that's me I had a I had one of those fake fireplaces and my dog would run up to it and like get scared like looking at the reflection your dog in a mirror is great yes a dog watching a dog show on television is pretty good too yep we don't deserve the best they are learning how to climb stairs last one there you go that's is that for you or the dog

Speaker 3 For forever.

Speaker 1 It's the puppy.

Speaker 1 They get stuck.

Speaker 1 They get stuck in the middle of the stairs. They're like, what are you doing? You're like, look, man, you're on your own, man.
Deal with it.

Speaker 1 All right. Let's finish up.
We got a couple guys on chicks. Bubba, are you going to read them to us?

Speaker 4 So I've been seeing slash hooking up with this guy for like six months. And a month ago, when I was blackout, I think, in parentheses, emphasis on I think.
He asked me to be his girlfriend.

Speaker 1 And I guess I said yes.

Speaker 4 Since then, he's been saying stuff to other people like dating, girlfriend, relationship, etc.

Speaker 4 Do I just go with it? Do I have a boyfriend now? Or do I ever bring up that I was blacked out?

Speaker 1 I think you got a boyfriend. I think it's too late.

Speaker 3 Is it Facebook official?

Speaker 1 I think it's too late.

Speaker 1 I think if he's going around saying like, oh, this is my girlfriend, you probably should have had that conversation already. So now you got to go.
No, no, no.

Speaker 1 You get him drunk and then explain to him that you're not his girlfriend and he won't remember it. And that's a true double psych.
Yeah. Yeah.
That's good. Good good call, Billy.
I like that.

Speaker 3 Or you could break up with him, and then if he's like, what are you talking about? You're like, okay, good. That was just a joke.

Speaker 3 And then if he's really upset, it's like, you know that he thought that you were a boyfriend or girlfriend.

Speaker 1 I'm rooting for them to get married. That would be awesome.
Without Kay, I actually was never even your girlfriend.

Speaker 3 Actually, just you got to one-up him, get him drunk, and then marry him.

Speaker 3 And then marry his ass. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Or we'll just break up with him for you.

Speaker 3 Just said this to him. We'll say it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's true. Billy will.

Speaker 1 Okay, next one.

Speaker 4 Sup, Hank, Doug, and Mr. Commenter.
My boyfriend runs to the bathroom almost immediately every time we have sex. I figured he just had a small bladder until recently I heard him making noises.

Speaker 4 I confronted him about it, and he explained it. When you pee after you have sex, it basically feels like you're coming again, he says.

Speaker 1 He calls it his pee gasm. No.

Speaker 1 Is this true?

Speaker 4 This guy is a psychopath.

Speaker 3 He's convinced himself. This guy read the wrong message board, and his own brain convinced him that it was true.
Like, if you pee right after you have sex, you get extra testosterone.

Speaker 3 The fact is, before you go pee, every guy has to actually finish on the carpet beside their bed. And it's way better actually if you just piss on top of that.

Speaker 1 This guy, I mean, I think everyone's body's different, so maybe he really is gasming twice.

Speaker 1 Let him be. Or he's just flushing the pipes, you know?

Speaker 4 Hey guys, I started staying at my boyfriend's apartment more often during quarantine. I think after I fall asleep, he goes back into the living room to play video games at night.

Speaker 4 I've noticed there was beer cans and snacks out in the living room that weren't there when we went to bed. Should I be concerned, or is this not a big deal?

Speaker 3 He's leaving them out for Santa.

Speaker 3 I think it's fine.

Speaker 3 He's obviously still learning how to coexist with a woman, and he could probably just ask you, hey, is it cool if I go out and I play video games?

Speaker 3 But right now, he's got a guilty conscience behind that something. You got to find out why he feels bad bad about playing video games.

Speaker 1 Let him know it's okay.

Speaker 1 Billy?

Speaker 1 It's a weird time.

Speaker 1 Oh, go ahead. Get profound.
Just let him do what he's got to do to deal with it. It's a weird time.

Speaker 1 That's how he blows up steam? Yeah. I mean, imagine if he doesn't do that.
Like, what's he going to do?

Speaker 1 Billy definitely would be like...

Speaker 1 Playing video games. Like, you've been playing video games for fucking 15 hours, Billy.
It's like,

Speaker 1 have you seen it? Have you seen the news? Fucking weird time. We We all cope differently.

Speaker 3 All things considered, that's a pretty healthy secret that he's keeping from you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I've honestly been using the excuse to do stupid stuff, like weird times. Like,

Speaker 1 there's no rules. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 I think you could also reverse that on him, too, and wait for him to fall asleep and then go out one night and just go to the living room and pound an entire bag of Franzi and watch Sex in the City and leave the DVDs out.

Speaker 1 All right, last one.

Speaker 4 Yep, last one.

Speaker 4 So, boys, I broke up up with my long-term boyfriend right before quarantine began. We had several trips planned together, which obviously we canceled since we broke up.

Speaker 4 My ex randomly sent me half the cost of the trip that I never paid for to begin with.

Speaker 4 Do I send it back? Do I keep it? Should I invest it in the stock market?

Speaker 1 What should I do with this?

Speaker 3 He sent you an invoice?

Speaker 4 No, he sent, he thought that they split it and they

Speaker 1 sent her. She never paid it.

Speaker 3 so he sent her an invoice

Speaker 3 being like hey accounts receivable needs a thousand bucks for our boat ride to charlottesville or something like that i'm gonna be honest i have no idea what he thought he thought she paid for half of it and she never gave him the half and then he sent her the half back he gave her a chance yes yes all right uh i Yeah, you, I think that's fun money.

Speaker 3 You spend what you need to do is find the dumbest thing possible that you can buy with that money and then spend all of it on that.

Speaker 3 Like, I'm talking about I saw a jumpsuit that was $2,000 in Neiman Marcus one time. I didn't buy it because I didn't have $2,000 on me at the time.

Speaker 3 But every day goes by, and I wish that I had just dropped two G's on a jumpsuit.

Speaker 1 Keep that. So, Queen?

Speaker 3 Spend it on something stupid as fuck.

Speaker 1 Get it, Queen. Enjoy it.
Do your thing.

Speaker 1 Billy is very confused. Dog look again.
I don't understand what the money.

Speaker 1 We should do a Mount Rushmore of Cutest Things Billy Does.

Speaker 3 He pronounces Waluji.

Speaker 1 When he lies to us and then admits that he was lying to us, but it's always a simple lie, so he can't stay mad.

Speaker 1 Today he came and worked out with two people, and we told him he could work out, but not with two people. And then we said, Billy, why didn't you tell us? And he didn't say,

Speaker 1 oh, my bad, I was lying to you. He just said, I didn't think anyone was going to be here.
Yeah, I did think I was going to get Irish entrance. So he literally was like, I have no remorse of lying.

Speaker 1 I'm more remorse that everyone was here.

Speaker 3 The thing I like about Billy is he doesn't lie about why he lies. He's very honest about

Speaker 4 it. Lying is cool.

Speaker 1 Getting caught lying sucks. Yeah, right.

Speaker 1 Billy makes me feel like the greatest detective of all time because I can always get to the answer within like 30 seconds. Hard questioning.
Billy, why did you bring the extra people?

Speaker 1 Well, I didn't think you guys were going to be here.

Speaker 3 Flashing back to the last guys on chicks question, though, I feel like you might have let a good one get away.

Speaker 3 A guy that sends you a check after like a month of being broken up, being like, oh, I just remembered that you bought this vacation for us. Here's either that or he's a big-time simp.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 He's probably just trying to

Speaker 3 simp his way back in. Yeah, that's what it is.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. That's our show.

Speaker 1 Everyone, stay safe. We will see you on Friday.
We got a recurring guest. Don't know which one we're going to run, but we got a recurring guest coming up on Friday.
Watch Sour Grapes.

Speaker 1 Also, do not tell Hank the word is chin.

Speaker 3 Don't say it. Don't you dare say it.
Stay safe and take care of each other. I love you guys.

Speaker 1 Love you guys. Thanks for having me.

Speaker 3 Talking to Mike, Billy.

Speaker 3 Shine

Speaker 3 coming for your love of day.

Speaker 3 Suddenly, let's just say

Speaker 3 I want to sent it

Speaker 3 by

Speaker 3 stone away.

Speaker 3 Slowly learning my life is okay.

Speaker 3 Say after me.

Speaker 3 Life's no better to be safe than sorry.

Speaker 3 Drink

Speaker 3 on

Speaker 3 me.

Speaker 3 Drink on me.

Speaker 3 How do we let me save

Speaker 3 it alive?

Speaker 3 Just to play my memory's away.

Speaker 3 You're all the things I've got to remember. You're shy and away.

Speaker 3 I'm only coming for you anyway.

Speaker 3 Take

Speaker 3 on

Speaker 3 me.

Speaker 3 Take

Speaker 3 me.

Speaker 3 Jake

Speaker 3 on

Speaker 3 me,

Speaker 3 drink of me,

Speaker 3 me

Speaker 3 drink of me

Speaker 3 all

Speaker 3 means