Bill Burr, Arian Foster, And Space

Hey, Pardon My Take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
On today's Pardon My Take, we have Bill Burr. Great interview with Bill Burr.
We talk about his new movie, King of Staten Island. Catch up with him about a sportsless world.
Always great to talk to Bill Burrr we also have our good friend arian foster on talking about real issues what has happened in america in the past week so if you don't want to have your part of my take get real you can skip it we have no offense to us but we think it was an awesome conversation that might expand your worldview bill Billy football. That's the opposite.
He,

well,

no,

he expanded our worldview with some.

Oh yeah.

Nobos monkey talk.

You're going to learn a lot of stuff about a lot of stuff in this,

in the course of this podcast.

And we got who's back of the week.

So we got a packed Monday show for you.

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Today is Monday, June 1st. We made it.
We made it. To June.
Remember the coronavirus? We sleep in June. Do you remember the coronavirus? It feels like it was three months ago.
Remember Tiger King? Remember Tiger King? That was legitimately. I think the idea that Tiger King? Dude, Tiger King.
That was legitimately... I think the idea that Tiger King Halloween costumes were going to be all the rage, that ship has sailed.
Tiger King feels like it was 10 years ago. What do you think is taking Tiger King away from Halloween costumes? Outer Banks, John B.
No, we're not. This is not going to become an Outer Banks podcast.
I finished the season. We're not doing this again.
I can't wait for season two. We're not doing this.
They left it wide open, P.M.T. Yeah, Tiger King is...
Did they put a question mark at the end? No, they left it wide open for season two, baby. That's such a great feat of cinematic movie making is when they put a question mark after the end.
Yeah. It's like record scratch.
I hope there's 15 seasons of this stupid fucking show yeah but uh we made it it's june i don't know what we made every month march 91st no every new month though does feel like an accomplishment because we're basically getting through the calendar is a fucking slog it's not like you know we're looking forward to anything you know when you're usually sitting there like oh i can't wait for this this and this and you just get excited there is nothing to look forward to zero things think about this spring as a conditioning test for your brain yeah this is a challenge for all of us okay like we're in wind sprint number probably 40 out of 55 i've had my hands on my head yeah no it's wrong no no i know you can't put your hands on your knees i know i'm with more guests um that was such a mind fuck when that came out when they when they said that it doesn't make a difference if you're tired to put your hands on your head as opposed to your knees i still believe if you have your hands on your knees it's a sign of weakness and i will exploit you i also don't buy any of i i'll call it i'll click clarify it because i know science is very important right now uh when we actually are fighting the coronavirus so i'll clarify it as business insider video science that's what the science that i'm talking about whenever that science comes out i call bullshit the science that basically says you know how every like six months they'll say uh studies show that people who drink six cups of coffee a day live to a hundred plus yeah studies show red meat's actually not bad for you and then six months go past that they're like studies show people who eat too much red meat die at 40 from heart conditions well it goes back to the headline writers trying to get as much engagement on their tweets as possible. So Business Insider is the king of doing something like.

Studies show that if you drink a pint of whiskey a week, you live longer.

And then everyone's like, looks like I'm going to be immortal.

And then they reply to that with, check out this cool new boat car concept, boat car, that costs $40 million that's never going to be in production or anything like that.

But, hey, it's cool, isn't it? One of my favorites that used to circulate every now and again it was kind of like the drew breeze broken legs in a car accident story that would just pop up occasionally was uh if studies show that women who consume semen have a 50 decrease in likelihood of breast cancer oh wow and then all the fellas just hop on the group chat immediately hell yeah yeah so twitter uh i guess, I guess Business Insider is the one Twitter place that's still just going. No, Rex Chapman has found a way to adjust in today's times.
Yes. He's finding new viral videos to steal.
Somebody getting run over. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Blocker charge.
Well, it's kind of serious this time, Rex. Yeah, and you know what? Bob Lee did it better than Rex Chapman did when it was the whole LeBron James, Steve Kerr China China thing.
And he just wrote block or charge for the Tiananmen Square picture. Yes.
Of the dude in front of the tank. Yes.
So, yeah, we're basically, we're just getting through the calendar. We're here.
We're June 1st. We have a great show for you.
We're taking mental reps for sports right now. That's what we're doing.
We got this. So we have a great show for you.
We have Bill Burr coming up interview with him new movie coming out king of staten island that was we both loved then we have arian foster on for about 45 plus talking about everything that's happened last week a serious tone a serious conversation but i think for those that can uh maybe put their like hey maybe we'll talk about some hard issues aside for a second. They'll actually enjoy it.
For those that can't, no big deal. Just skip it.
That's fine. Skip on ahead.
It's fine with me if you want to skip ahead. Skip to Billy.
But I'm not even saying that this is a political thing that we're discussing because it's not political. It's expanding your mind.
If you're anti-Trump and you think that Joe Biden is going to save you from everything that's happened, then you're fucking delusional.

So it's not political in the sense of we're not sitting down and talking about politics. It's a fascinating conversation.
And I learned a lot. I learned something.
A lot. It's amazing when you listen to other people talk, you learn new things about them and about yourself.
And I would love to hear from just one person who doesn't like arian foster or doesn't like that we're getting serious and listen to it and actually enjoy it maybe learn something just tweet us to let us know that we're still human beings that's all we ask can i just make a point of order about the the protest just one thing that i've noticed here um the guys wearing the hawaiian shirts yeah apparently this has become like a race war white supremacist thing to wear Hawaiian shirts. Pineapples.
Fuck you. You will not take...
I'm reclaiming Hawaiian shirts for people that like to party. My entire summer wardrobe to try to get people to look at something other than my supple breasts is to just put like random, you know, fruits and tigers and weird shit.
Everyone's seen the shirts I wear. I wear those not because I think they're fashionable.
I wear them because the more you have going on on your shirt, the less people notice your gut and your tits. Oh, I wear them because they're fashionable.
Yeah. It's like, I truly believe that they're high fashion.
I'm wearing them as a fucking circle change. Yes.
Yours is tactical. People don't see that coming.
Right. Mine is peacocking.
But I was hanging up all my clothes in my closet the other day. I was taking them out of boxes, and I realized that about 90% of shirts that I own with buttons on them are Hawaiian shirts.
So I will not allow the Hawaiian shirt to be co-opted by people who are trying to start they they took milk from

us they took wearing comfortable new balances from playing the uh look at my finger my the circle game circle game game i mean that was that's an all-time game and it's gone forever you can take my hawaiian shirt from my red sweaty mai tai stained chest yeah it's not going to happen so So, yeah, the world's falling apart, but we're still powering through.

We have a again, great show and great shows coming up. Do we even have any update on anything? I mean, they're just basically hanging out.
Every league is like, we'll just wait and keep waiting. Quick update on Korean baseball.
Still going.

Dino's still in first place.

Awesome.

I watched the Bundeslager, and I was wrong.

Thank you for pronouncing it correctly.

I was wrong about the crowd noise.

Bundeslager.

Oh, that is an update.

Yes.

It works.

It was good, yeah.

It works.

I didn't notice it at all.

And if you have a DJ or someone or a sound mixer, an official sound mixer, it will work.

So I'm all for doing the sound for watching these games.

It probably won't have fans in it.

They also had, I think some league in like maybe it was Netherlands,

had huge LED video boards with Zoom fans.

Like people live watching it was kind of cool.

That is cool.

I would do that.

I'd fucking watch Zoom into a game. I did see that.
I'd fucking watch. I'd zoom into a game.

I did see that Deshaun Jackson said that every player should be miked up. Yeah.
That would be awesome. It would be awesome, but Roger Goodell is not going to go for it.
Neither are any of the coaches. Oh, Roger Goodell denied Dave.
Oh, yeah. Roger Goodell hates children.
Roger Goodell in the NFL decided the first time in the history of the NFL they did a background check was to,

to so that they could not accept $250,000 of charity. Unbelievable.
But also expected. Silver lining, it's got to go to Marlins man, right? Marlins man came in second place in the bidding.
Although, if they're doing background checks. Do you get to take along a friend or family member? Are, you're talking about a mermaid? No, I'm talking about maybe a family member.
Oh, he's going to take your mom? No, maybe your internet stepson. Oh, interesting.
I don't know. Marlon's man, if you're out there, let us know if the NFL is going to touch with you.
It would also be classic Goodell to just be like, oh, well, let's just not do it. Not going to do it.
Yeah, I mean, the background check, Dave has not been convicted of anything. He got detained at the NFL.
We were arrested for that. Those charges are gone.
They're not charged. Oh, yeah.
The other. Oh, yeah.
You actually did get arrested. Yes, you did get arrested.
Expunged. Yes, but those are expunged.
So their background check was like, oh, yeah, this guy, we can't let him in. Background check complete complete i hope they actually spent money on a background check i so look up their own files from what i've heard there was a dossier that was put together yeah so somebody behind the scenes let me know that the nfl requested a dossier of everything that dave's done and it's it's very funny to me that like potentially the two top bidders on spending an evening in Roger Goodell's man cave are going to have

their bids revoked because they're security threats. There's actually a conspiracy theory going on now that, uh, we, Roger Goodell works for Barstool because he continually plays into our hands.
Yep. And I actually am starting to buy it.
I'm starting to think that it's not so far off to think that Roger Goodell is on Barstool's payroll deliberately to play the heel and never ever ever just do one cool thing he is the ultimate suit man it's it's crazy think about this darren revel the robot who by the way that was awesome when like the world's falling apart he's like you want to know how crazy the world's gotten nike adidasidas just retweeted Nike. So on brand.
Remember where you were. Unbelievable.
But Darren Revell figured out eight years ago that if you play along and maybe every now and then be the butt of the joke, you can probably ingratiate yourself to our fans. When he played me one-on-one and lost 11-0.

Darren Revell figured that out, and Roger Goodell,

not only can he not figure it out, but no one around him has been able to figure it out that if he just played ball once,

he probably would take, like, I don't know, 75% of the piss out of this?

Yeah, I don't think that he could have played it worse.

No.

Like, the way that he's set up, it's just been win, win, win. We pay him.
Yeah, that's fine. We must pay him.
We must pay him. Yeah, shout out Roger Goodell.
But if Marlon's man does want a guest, I will tag along. Although, do I have a dossier? Because I have been arrested.
Not really. I've been arrested.
Here's the problem. Even if I wasn't technically arrested, I've said that I've been arrested so many times Where the hell are these guys records He keeps saying he's been arrested We can't find anything I'm sending him on a wild goose chase Looking for all the records of me being apprehended That would be great though It would be bad for me actually If I passed the background check To go hang out with Roger D'Ado Because then it would mean you didn't get arrested Because it would mean I'm not a bad boy.
Yeah, so you can't take that risk. So you need to just go get arrested right now.
Okay, I can do that. Go egg Roger Goodell's house.
I'm going to cut the tag off a pillow right in the middle of Fifth Avenue. All right, let's get to who's back of the week.
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Okay, who's back of the week? Hank. My who's back of the week is Andy Milonakis.
Ooh. Yes, everyone remembers his TV show.
Probably not everyone because there's probably a lot of people that listen to the show that don't remember. I got cheese on my head.
Don't call me a peas head. Peas on my head.
Don't call me a pea head. He's actually my most famous birthday bro.
January 30th? Yes. You and Andy Milonakis? Yeah, me and Andy Milonakis.
He's turning 18 this year. He's my man crush Monday.
He tweeted the space launch happened on Saturday. Oh, we didn't even talk about the space launch.
He tweeted, congratulations to the astronauts that left Earth today, period. Good choice.

Simple tweet, you would think.

You know, a little joke, a little joke on the times.

That is now the third most popular tweet of all time.

All time?

Holy shit.

And the two ahead of him are Obama.

Now, oh, wasn't Ellen's selfie?

Remember Ellen's selfie with Kevin Spacey that we don't talk about anymore?

That one aged well. Who else was in that picture?

Jeffrey Epstein.

Bradley Cooper.

Some of his money definitely was. I love how it was like, oh my God, goals.
And it's like, whoops. Kevin Spence is in there.
Oh, third most liked tweet of all time. Okay.
Okay, yeah. Okay.
How many likes? 3.1 million. Damn.
That's like a tenth of the United States liked his tweet. I actually, that's a good tweet, but the better one was the guy who tweeted.

Not, I mean.

Yeah.

What?

Not by the numbers.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, the better one, though.

Well, objectively, the better one was the guy who said,

James Harden has to be so confused that a rocket just was successful in late May.

Owned.

That's big time ownage.

Owned.

Big time ownage.

Shout out Andy. Andy.
Andy Milonakis. Milonakis.
Yeah. Some great TV back in the day.
Is that it, Hank? So when people didn't realize that he had like whatever. He wasn't 16? Yeah, right.
Before people realized that. The thing is, the show is still funny though.
Yeah, no, no. The show is still funny.
But there was a moment where I was like, oh. There are specific moments in time that you just can never get back.
Like when Oli G was. I remember my middle school.
That like, my middle school was like in shambles when we found that news out. When Oli G, like people didn't know, like weren't in on the joke whatsoever.
And he was just like, it was so raw and so new. That kind of shit, oh, the best.
How much older was Andy than he was letting on? He was like 30. was like 30 and he was saying he was like no no no he wasn't saying he wasn't 15 he was just acting young acting and doing all this shit and looked super young and then i was like oh this guy's 28 like me and my me and my middle school friends were like oh he's one of us like look at this kid he's a superstar i always thought he was just like tom green with a head injury i i specifically remember watching him thinking he was my age and then being like, oh, no, he's 28.

Yeah, he's 44.

Yeah, he's 44 today.

And he's still chugging away on Twitter.

He was doing his big stuff.

I think he became huge in like 2003, 2004.

So that would make him.

Yeah, he was like 28.

I was 12. I don't think I did my math right, whatever.
it I understand he was old I'm a book guy my who's back of the week congrats Andy my who's back of the week is anonymous anonymous the hacker well I'm going to say very nice things about anonymous the hacker very nice people contingent because I am terrified of them and if you saw their video i'm terrified for good reason it was so badass the guy was wearing the guy fox mask and he was standing in front of like a digital background with green code that was flashing on his face and he was talking in a computer voice saying like we warned you we have returned we are legion we are anonymous and i'm fucking terrified so i'm terrified too but whenever i see a video

like that i just think of like when i'm making a video and i get like interrupted like when i'm

trying to do the joe buck big head picture or something just thinking of anonymous like

anonymous's wife walked in and was like hey are like do you need the car today i was like what

the fuck i'm doing the video i'm making my threats yeah go back like give me a second he's doing the

he's staring straight into the camera and his kid walks in the door in the background like that bbc

I'm going to go. I'm making my threats.
Yeah. Go back.
Like, give me a second. He's doing the he's staring straight into the camera and his kid walks in the door in the background like that BBC anchor.
Yeah. And starts walking around.
God damn it. You ruined the shot.
Do you guys remember why? I mean, the reaction of him coming back was so funny. I couldn't remember why he disappeared.
Anonymous isn't one person, Hank. Yeah.
Anonymous is a collective. Yeah.
But why? And how about so terrifying? How about coming about coming back with a... They came back with a bang.
They wear the mask. Anyone could be an anonymous.
Bumbo could be anonymous. I could be, maybe.
I don't think I'm good enough with computers. Yeah, that's what an anonymous would say.
I don't know. What is this? C++? C++? I'm an ASP.
He's Jim Harbaugh. He's just doing everything on PowerPoint to get us, or no, Excel.
You know what it is? Dave Gettleman's computer folks. Yeah.
I also last night- Guaranteed all three anonymous. I was a little bit zooted, and I had a moment where I thought anonymous and spooky ghost were the same person, and I was like, anonymous is back.
The fabbiting four? Yeah. Dude, the fabbiting four? I was like, wait, that was a different person.
So Anonymous is back and I'm scared. This is one of those situations, kind of like how I like to align myself with robots that will one day take over all of us.
I'm letting Anonymous know, whatever you need from me, I got you. Just let me know, I'll help you out.
My other hoops back of the week is the Super Volcano. We call this.
This is also a not to brag, but we call this on last week's show. I think we said after all the murder hornet hullabaloo, we're like, we're overdue for an article telling us that the Super Volcano in Yellowstone is overdue.
That's the ultimate fear porn article. Comes out once every other week.
It feels like there's a big one that came out yesterday. And yeah, so we're all the entire united states is going to get blown up by a volcano not scared i also think that this is an opportunity some people see crisis here i see opportunity because when i see that the entire united states is going to get destroyed by a super volcano i think to myself what would go in my bag that i have somewhere in my house, my break glass in case of emergency bag.

When I hear that we're all about to get destroyed in the next 30 minutes, I want to have a bag

filled with cool shit that I want to do like one last time before I die.

Like my favorite things are just things that would be great.

You're not going to take it with you?

No, because you're going to die.

Like it's the, I've accepted I'm going to die bag.

I wouldn't die.

It's like Molly.

How do I spend my last? Yeah. I think it would be Molly.
Guitar. Let everyone know you play guitar.
I think it would be Molly. I think it would be, I'd probably have like a Chick-fil-A sandwich in there.
I'd get one less. Maybe a honey butter chicken biscuit.
Yeah. I'd also have a microwave.
I mean, I guess I'm asking you what would go in your bag. I would probably have a cigarette.
I'd probably put my son in my bag. A 311 and larger show detail DVD.
Probably whatever book I'm reading. You'd read a book.
You'd go out reading. You're like.
Bro, do I live to read or do I read to live? What you also have to think. Or pre-washed Oreos.
You have to think in that circumstance, like if your body is covered in ashes like that dude in Pompeii, what do you want to be doing in your last pose? Because the masturbating man is always going to be known as the guy that was jacking off when the volcano. Yeah.
I think I'd just be sitting there. Just sit.
Just, he died how he lived. Just chilling, playing video games.
Wow. His spine's really fucked up.
He must've been sitting for a long time. Tearing up a 50, 50 raffle ticket.
We've never seen a human skeleton like this. Yeah.
I think, I think i think heroin heroin and chick-fil-a would be my my go-to's if i had like 30 minutes left so the chick-fil-a sandwich though would just be sitting there for like the last five years i order one every day just in case waiting just in case the super volcano's coming um all right my who's back is uh elon musk big time back. I think people were talking about him being the greatest human being ever.
Are they? They were saying some people were saying he's. Well, I have some takes.
There's a big thing of like he's the greatest American ever. It's like, dude, he's from South Africa.
And then some people were saying, like, I'm so happy to be alive during the time of Elon Musk. We already did it.
I don't get what we did that's different. We haven't done it in a while.
Who cares? We did it before. He went to space for less money.
Also, the audio was so fucked up on the launch, it pissed me off so bad. Did you see that? I didn't tune in.
I was like, oh, they're launching a rocket. You really were that big of a hater? You don't think that is cool? I think it's cool.
I think it's cool that we've done it 100,000 times already. We have not, though, Hank.
How many times do you think we've been on the moon? 20. I don't even think it's that much.
15. Are these guys going to the moon? No.
Okay, so. How many times have we been in space? We've been to the moon.
20 plus. More times than Mariano Rivera has gotten hits off him in the playoffs.
We went to the moon in the 60 but not going to the moon but we stopped going back to the moon this here's what i'm gonna learn anything first we are not gonna learn anything new from elon it's the first time that we just for him to pat himself on the back and be like cool well it's the first time that we're going to the moon without the help of nazi scientists yeah it's also it's also kind of like it's all appropriate that the world's falling apart and nasa like helped elon musk be like yo dude when you need to get out of here like we'll help you get out of here like you basically get that in motion yeah right yeah you know musk is gonna dip he's like he got his he called his uber so basically what you're saying is like elon musk is pulling the old ferris bueller day off like i'm gonna take care of this car he's like i'm gonna bring it right back yeah i'm gonna take it around just take it for a spin around the moon you guys just help me build this thing and we'll be good to go and i won't use it uh i swear to god we'll just use it for whatever you want to do in terms of like science and, and then the minute shit really pops off,

he's like, I'm out.

That's why he named his kid a line of computer code so he can just act like it's a robot he's bringing with him.

Naming the spaceship Dragon was pretty cool, though.

You have to give us that, Hank.

Sure.

Hank, are you not impressed by outer space?

Did you not grow up wanting to be an astronaut?

I'm extremely impressed by outer space.

My question to you guys, though,

is what are these guys going to come back with

that we didn't already know? They probably brought an ant farm up there. They do all sorts of cool experiments.
Like there's guys. There's always there's always I follow one of the astronauts on Twitter.
He's always in space tweeting pictures of the. Oh, yeah, that guy is.
So we've been in space. This is this is the same thing.
I don't know. It's just I didn't.
I know who you're talking about.

Take the Twitter away. I saw people freaking out about us going to space yesterday, and it was like, what is.
Oh, that was kind of cool. It's kind of cool.
I guess you're. To be honest with you, Hank, you are enlightening me a little.
Like, why am I excited about it? I just. I guess I am.
But you're not wrong. Like, what are we doing? I'm sure someone knows what we're doing.
They've never been to the moon at night. Oh, the fucking, the ship came back down and just sat on that platform.

That was cool, which they also, like, they had technical errors.

They blew up a rocket on Friday.

No, did you see that?

Where they were showing the platform in the middle of the ocean.

Then they went away from the broadcast because there was technical errors. Then they went back the rocket was just sitting there oh interesting not to be that guy but well at least it's not we think this is a real one this was not filmed on a sound stage in las vegas true true um there was an anchor on cnn who was she was like i just love science so much she started crying really so excited about science yeah if you're a science person it I'm so excited about science.
Yeah, if you're a science person, it's cool. Like rockets and shit.
That's sick. If you're a smart person, I get it.
We get it. Just give me something new.
Go to a different planet. Right.
Yes, I agree with that. Okay, let's get to our interviews.
Yeah, that's a good point. Why aren't we going to Mars right now? I think it's too far away, man.
You can give it more fuel. I think it's too far away.
I think Mars is a lot farther than we think. Has anybody ever thought about bringing Mars to us? Bring it closer to us? Magnets.
Lasso Mars with a magnet? Mm-hmm. Get on it.
That's what they should do. Go to the moon, put some magnets on the moon, get us Mars.
Then we can talk. Wouldn't it get us us? No, it's...
It's like... If you put magnets on the moon, wouldn't it moon but only only only like if we're a positive magnet put positive magnet on earth positive magnet on the moon so that way we don't attract so we then push the moon away i don't know i don't know no so the moon is gone i think we just got to figure out what mars is made of and then just have magnets that attract that thing.
Got it. Yeah.
Okay. All right.
I'm in. All right.
Let's get to our interviews. We got Bill Burr, Arian Foster, and then Billy Football to end the show.
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USAA. All right, back to part of my take.
Okay, here he is, Bill Burr. Ooh.
All right, well, we'll just go right into it. We were talking about Queens of Stone Age.
Bill Burr's wearing a Queens of Stone Age shirt. He's on the show.
Not because I'm a fan. I just feel like the blue brings out my eyes.
It does. It's great to have you on.
Long time friend. You have a new movie coming out.
What's the actual day of the movie coming out? King of Staten Island. June 12th.
June 12th. Very exciting.
We watched the movie. I told you it is awesome.
And I'm not saying that because you're a friend. I really, really enjoyed the movie.
And I feel like it was a role meant for you, the disgruntled, kind of anger problem firefighter. Yes, there was not a lot of acting involved.
Playing an angry lunatic who's saying shit in front of kids and women that he shouldn't be saying.

So, no, not a lot of acting for me.

But I will tell you this, though.

Because you guys always say what you're thinking, you know, this is the second I did the KFC show.

And the fact that you guys both liked it.

It's like Howard Stern.

If Howard Stern says he likes something, you know he liked it.

Because if he doesn't, he's going to say it. So I really appreciate, you know, this doesn't feel like you just you just ball washing me here.
No, no. I my test with movies is if I watch a movie, if I am thinking about the movie when I wake up the next day, that means that I really liked it.
And this is a movie that I watched on Sunday and I and I woke up on Monday and I was still thinking about it. Oh, nice.
Yeah. Well, I'm very excited.
Uh, yeah, I have a supporting role in it. It's Pete Davidson and, uh, Marissa Tomei, Steve Buscemi, Dom Lombardozzi.
It's just a powerhouse cast. Um, and it, I don't know.
We, we had a great time. Judd Apatow obviously was the creative force behind it.

And we just, you know, we shot all last year.

You remember that?

I think I came in and did your show with my porno stash.

Yeah.

Back when people were allowed to go outside and hang out.

Yeah.

That was a great time.

It feels like it was five years ago.

But I was actually going to ask you about that stash because the shaved head and the

stash is quite a look. You look like a gay Nazi in this movie.
But you pull it off. I don't know if that's like a plus or a minus.
I got to be honest. I have heard worse.
It's actually so spot on that you're like a white supremacist. And at the end, it's like Kevin Spacey at the end of American Beauty.
And it's like, oh, he's just been suppressing all his feelings i mean the other guy i think i think that's the sequel yeah i think pull off the work build out the character guys don't give it away i'm not in a way we yeah i'm not going to give anything away this is a hit we still got places to go with this character it's true but i've always wondered when you have a mustache like that how how long before you start shooting do you grow out the character's hair or facial hair? Like, how long were you walking around with that thing? I – oh, sorry. That's why I hit mute on this.
I can't remember how to shut this thing. Let me shut this off.
Is that your OnlyFans? I – we started shooting in June, and I stopped shaving in, like, second week of April. And I just grew the beard out.
So I was starting to look like a red Zach Galifianakis. You remember that one where he shaved his head? One of those Vegas movies there, the Bachelor Party one.
It just came out like that. So we didn't really know what it was going to look like because I really looked like, I just started to look like some douche that makes like artisan ice cream in Brooklyn, you know, where I had like the shaved head and then the completely like, you know, unkempt beard.
And then they just, they shaved it off. And I couldn't really tell how thick I never tried to grow it like that, but I was very happy.
I am psyched because a lot of people think it's fake.

So I'm like, that's got to be a good mustache.

Yeah.

No, it was a good stache.

I don't know if you've heard this, but there's some Oscar buzz around you right now.

There's what?

Oscar buzz.

Yeah, Oscar buzz.

We've been talking about it.

People are saying that there's Oscar buzz around you.

Is that something that you've ever thought of in your life?

Like Bill Burr, Academy Award winner.

I think you guys have been quarantining too long.

No.

It's the only movie I've seen in nine months, it was really good that definitely has oscar bugs no it was good you were you were very good in in mostly a dramatic role in this movie like uh there were there were elements of the script that were obviously funny when you were arguing with pete and all that stuff but i actually thought that you did a good job in a in a pretty serious role Yes. Man, as a comedian, it was fun to get an opportunity to play that.
There's sort of a thing where, you know, people see you, they see what you do, and they think that that's all you can do. And the drama thing always struck me funny as far as the stereotype that a comedian couldn't play drama, where if you really listen to a comedian's act when they talk about their life there's a lot of drama in it it becomes funny when they tell the story but they live through all this you know divorces breakups and crazy parents or whatever so i i you know there's been a number of people like that they finally let do it so then i got to do it basically so i had one question about King of Staten Island, and then we can talk about whatever.
But the one line that really got to me, and I'm not going to give anything away here, but you and Pete Davidson have an argument, and he made fun of you for betting on the Jets. And that one hurt me personally, because I think that that is actually, like the meanest insult you can give someone is making fun of their bad bets and so i don't know if you if you real i mean you're a gambler i don't know if you realize in the moment how how much that line like really hit when you're when the gloves are off and you're going at someone and you're like yeah but you fucking bet on this team and they suck you idiot that one just was like oh gut punch that's because it hurts on two different levels if you're an actual fan of the team like i think degenerate gamblers who still bet on their their home team love the team so much more than you know when they do those those fluff pieces on the local news and they show we found the biggest long island islanders fan i remember that when i was

back in the day they showed this family they had all the trash cans the beanbags everything said islanders on it and they got this credit for being the biggest fan the biggest fan is the degenerate gambler yes he's down decades down to the bookie still cannot bet against his home team still can't lay off his home team.

It's a level of

fanhood that I think a lot

more people need to Still cannot bet against his home team. Still can't lay off his home team.

It's a level of fanhood that I think a lot more people need to aspire to,

especially during these trying times.

Yeah.

One of these days, the Washington Generals are going to beat the Globetrotters.

Right.

I've got a future on them.

Right. It's going to happen eventually, and I'll be laughing at everybody when it does.

It's just something about losing a bet and then having someone be like,

yeah, you are an extra idiot for betting on this team.

It's a fucking killer.

It's a knockout punch.

Yeah.

I fortunately never got too crazy with it.

I watched some other people in my life get crazy,

so I kind of dabbled or whatever.

You know what I did with gambling?

I more did it in-house. I I, you know, I did a thing a couple of years with Verzi.
Paul Verzi, we do this thing where every week he had to pick four games, bet against the spread. And then at the end of the year, there was, you know, every year, every week you put in some money.
And then the end, there was the big, you know, pot or whatever. I would do stuff like that.
because when I found, you know, losing money to a friend,

as much as you're going to run into him,

he's going to break your balls.

He's still your friend

and he'll probably buy you a round of beers.

Just losing it to a complete stranger.

Yeah.

And just meeting that guy

in that fucking parking lot.

That's the way it was done back in the day.

The guy would pull up,

you know, in his stupid fucking caddy, whatever.

It was always so cliche. It's just like you couldn't look more like a bookie than if you went to like central casting and they were like what is a bookie drive yeah what does he look like they all fucking look the same um i just remembered yeah i'm not going to get into the details of that some of the people in my life that it was kind of cool in the beginning and then then it was not so cool but it's true because because I've been in many of those meetup situations and for some reason in the back of your head you're always like, this guy's a good guy, he'll give me a break.
And they never give you a break. They never ever give you a break.
They're always just like, yep, thanks for that. I'm going to go pay for my kids' braces now, you fucking idiot.
My favorite is when they bring along their guy that like noticeably bigger than them just to be the muscle if anything goes wrong like it's usually just the guy's like friend his biggest friend he's like hey you want to go for a ride with me he's like sure i'll i'll tag along they're going to fucking mcdonald's drive-thru after yeah exactly on my on my exactly yeah um did you get to kiss marissa tomei did Did you watch the movie? I did, but I forgot

Oh yeah

Oh, alright

And you thought it was a great movie

Yeah

I like how

It was a good movie

I like how Dan woke up thinking about it

And you woke up and you couldn't remember it

I was gonna ask

I'm sorry, I don't remember if you

I respect women

That wasn't the focal part of the movie

I actually wrote down

How awesome was it that you got to kiss Marissa Tomei

My question was

Marissa Tomei is awesome

Did you get to kiss her?

I don't know. This is sort of a weird line of questioning.
That's okay. That's where our brain goes.
brain goes yeah feelings how many times have you thought about kissing marissa tomei after you kissed marissa tomei oh that's a great question a lot okay a lot i got i'm not gonna lie dude she's a great kisser and then also i had anxiety because i had never done that before in a movie i I never had to play something like that. And I will say the first time we kissed in the movie was outside, you know, Pete and her house.
And what was hilarious is aside from the camera crew, the neighbors in the house next door, like right over her shoulder, there was like five of them sitting on the stoop, just sitting there watching. So, um, yeah, it was kind of, uh, yeah, it was weird.
Do you think she liked it when you kissed her? Probably not. I imagine someone's kissed her better.
Somebody wears sunglasses all the time. Not afraid to wear Larry Bird shorts.
Yeah, I'm sure. I'm sorry that happened and you didn't get to experience it i hope you can you go to you start auditioning for movies and you get to kiss somebody that you wanted to kiss um all right so i have to ask you're a huge sports fan we've talked about it every time you come on how are you doing without sports has it got it like I've gone through the transition where it's now the new normal, and I'm like,

I can't even kind of remember what it's like to look forward

to a night full of sports.

How are you dealing with it?

I am in the same boat as you,

but I can't remember what it's like to watch a game live

because what I've done is I just –

I've delved into NFL history pre-Super Bowls

because I just – I find it fascinating

I'm not kidding. watch a game live.
Because what I've done is I just, I've delved into NFL history pre-Super Bowls.

Because I just,

I find it fascinating that every other sport will count their titles to the beginning of their league.

The beginning that the league started.

Right.

You know,

the NFL,

I mean,

I don't know.

They,

they,

they start Super Bowl one,

67 or whatever it was, the 66 season. and they just blow off all of these other people, you know, that were part of the inception of the sport.
And I just think it's fascinating as a Patriots fan that we've won six titles in the 100 years of the league, and we're somehow tied for the most ever. And the number is still in single digits where every other thing, it's like Montreal's got like 24, the Yankees got damn near 30, they had 27, Celtics got 17, Lakers have 16, really have 15 if you want to count NBA titles, but we'll give it to them.
Everybody in LA pads their stats. But then the Green Bay Packers won like nine or 11 NFL titles and then won another four Super Bowls.
So they're the Celtics, Lakers, whatever you want to say, Yankees, Canadians of the NFL. But for some reason, the Steelers and the Patriots are holding that crown.
And I just find that, I find it weird. Because it's not like they didn't absorb other leagues.
They absorbed the All-American Football Conference. The AFL that they absorbed was also the third league called the AFL.
So it's just sort of a weird thing. So I wanted to go back and just look at some of that stuff.
So are you going back and you're watching games from like the 1930s or are you just going back and reading history? You can watch like title games. Like they'll have like sort of like a press reel of it or a lot of game footage.
And you'd be surprised the way they talk about Johnny Unitas, how it was three yards in a cloud of dust, and then he came and started throwing the ball. It's not the fucking case.
Otto Graham was throwing it all over the field. Norm Brandt, Brocklin, Bobby Lane, all of these guys.
It sort of looks like the pro game. They don't quite throw as tight a spiral.
But the best thing that I found was the first African-American quarterback that ever started a pro game was this guy Marlon Briscoe for the Denver Broncos. And they wanted to make him a wide receiver.
It's literally a Denzel movie. And he says, Coach, I want the opportunity to try out to be a quarterback.
He crushes it. They still stick him as like third string.
Like nine white guys went down. I think they even threw the place kicker in there to fucking play quarterback.
They finally stick the guy in. He throws for like four touchdowns.
He threw for like 335 yards, crushes it for the rest of the season. Next year, they draft a new white dude, and they just give it to him without even letting him try out.
And he played the rest of his career as a wide receiver, went to Buffalo and stuff. But if you watch Marlon Briscoe highlights, it's insane.
You see the modern game. it immediately goes from 1966 right up to randall cunningham to michael vick and do the way it is now we just see this guy that it's like if he doesn't kill you with his arm he's he's gonna run yeah like he drove like an 80 i had an 80 yard drive his first time under center the first drive he had and then he ran it in final 15.
He did that shit, the flick of the wrist where it barely even looks like he was, and it went like, you know, 30 yards. Amazing and, like, also, you know, terrible story all at the same time.
Right, right. One thing that always catches my eye when I'm watching old football games is the referees always look so much more uncoordinated.
Corny, I'd even referees look corny and they make these weird motions instead of doing like the normal first down they just look like they're uh they're not on the same level as today's refs they look like the uh that the some of the hand signals back then i actually was watching a game the other night like the 51 championship game or something like that. And yeah, I noticed in this, and wide receivers weren't called wide receivers.
They were called ends. So I got like all these old football cards and shit.
I'm like, what the fuck is flanker and end and all of this stuff. There's a lot of shit from back then that they should be talking about how nobody took the kicking game seriously until the Cleveland Browns joined the league.
And after Paul Brown and Otto Graham and Lou the Toe Groza, they played four years of the All-American Football Conference. They won the title all four years.
And NFL's like, eh, it's a Mickey Mouse fucking league. Go fuck yourself.
And they came in first year in the league. They won the title.
was a major embarrassment uh for the nfl and they

beat the rams who used to be the cleveland rams and then they went to the championship game from

1950 to 1955 six years in a row 50 51 right through 55 and they won three and lost three

and then finally people started crunching numbers going why are these guys beating us so bad and

they found out that they won 15 of their games because of the kicking game and lou grozer was the first guy that from 40 yards out was accurate and he was a fucking offensive tackle and he kicked straight on no momentum it looked like and he could actually hit one from 50 and that's also when the the goal post was right on the goal line so you got to like to all you did it was eight yards into their their fucking territory and this guy could hit one from 50. And that's also when the goalpost was right on the goal line.
So you got to like to, all you did get was eight yards into their, their fucking territory. And this guy could hit one.
Right. I've always thought that if you have a 300 pound guy kicking a field goal, it should be worth four.
Or if you have the guy that scores the touchdown, kick the extra point, that should be worth two. That's something the XFL should have done, which I went to one game and I was really disappointed that what I saw was a bunch of coaches trying to make it to the NFL.
Yep. Rather than they were just calling the same thing.
And they had that thing. You could have two forward passes on one fucking play as long as it was, as long as it was behind the offensive line of scrimmage.
There should have been a league wide rule. have to do that once a quarter yeah agree yeah to get like fans to be like of the nfl being like what the fuck is this i mean that's what that's what the aba did yeah change it make it different yeah yes yeah i i like that you answered that the the initial question though about how you're dealing without sports you're in the camp camp of denial.
You've gotten a time machine. You've started over, and you're prepared now.
If this thing lasts for the next 10 years, you will finally have caught up to modern-day football and ready to hit the ground running. That's genius.
You're a genius. I have to tell you, I was already doing that in other areas.
With global warming, everybody freaking out about Trump, China, all of of this shit for the last like four years i would just wait late at night back when i was still boozing i would come home and i would just put on me tv and i would watch like the rockford files or i would watch like peter gunn 77 sunset strip uh the untouchables and i would just look at like America back in the the 50s and 60s it's i mean it's crazy though to think we actually the last time we saw you was the last game we went to uh you were sitting a row away from us at the national championship game which we didn't realize till after the game remember i looked down and you're just standing right there i think you were with your parents like that's 10 years ago. But fuck, I miss live sports so much.
I know. I looked at you for like three seconds going, that guy was like Dan Cass.
There's no fucking way that's him. The whole game.
He didn't see me and I didn't see him before quarter. Yeah.
We were literally like 10 seats away. You were one row ahead for the entire game.
And then after the game, I looked down. I'm like, oh, shit like oh shit there's bill okay and it was the other one when we both went to uh the big house yep for the wisconsin game and i was so hammered and you were so pissed about wisconsin that we never ran into each other yeah you walked out i believe yelling chicken shit football chicken well wisconsin punted down i want to say 17 in uh plus territory in like the middle of third quarter and i was like all right i'm out they don't want to win this chicken shit football they just don't want to be embarrassed and i just walked out saying chicken shit chicken shit chicken shit so fuck i miss football was my favorite quote of that year it is it's chicken shit football you got to play to win the game i uh i do have to ask you this because i've been curious um you texted me randomly in january 11th i think this was the nfc divisional round out of nowhere the 49ers need to celebrate more after making routine tackles out of nowhere how many people did you try to talk to about that before you landed on me uh it was completely out of you you were part of the you were part of the first cluster you just wanted to rant and you're like who can i rant to you have them on bcc like you send out to like 10 people and they think that you know what it was coming from you i didn't want to text it to to New York people because they're always showboating and everybody's writing songs about their city.
So they don't understand how a Midwest guy, they don't understand being humble. You guys will see it.
You're still young guys. If something will happen in sports where you're going to read it as these people don't know what the fuck they're doing.
And then you'll gradually learn. The math is, Oh, I'm just old now.
Yeah. Yeah.
It was a great text to get of just like an old man yelling at clouds. And you, and you just picked me and I was like, I'm in, I agree.
I feel crazy. I feel the same way about like cornerbacks and safeties when they celebrate an incomplete pass, but they didn't do shit to break it up.
Like the guy was wide. Oh,, that's one of my favorites.
By the way, Old Man Yelling at Clouds should be the name of my next special. I love that.
Yeah, it is. Of all the ways my wife has just tried to sum me up, I think I might have to repeat that to her.
Yeah, just going outside and just getting pissed at some clouds. Like, let me just rant for a minute and then I'll come back in and we'll have dinner.
Guilty as charged. I love it.
So you're a big Star Wars guy, Bill. You're big in the Star Wars community right now.
I read a quote that you had. This is a while back.
I think you called Star Wars a cheesy self-help book, put in outer space with Muppets. Put in outer space, yeah.
Yeah. I absolutely did.
Then you got a job working for Star Wars and you're like, I retract all that. I'm going to cash your checks happily.
That's not anything that happened. Okay, so you're on the Mandalorian.
You're in a negative belly today, aren't you? More so than usual. You're on the Mandalorian, Bill.
I heard that you spiked Baby Yoda. Is that true? I think you heard a lot of things.
I can tell you what happened. You can keep fucking fishing.
Yeah. This is what happened.
I saw a bunch of people enjoying something. And as a comedian, that's just a layup.
So I was forever making fun of people, 30 year old people going down to a movie theater, dressing like Chewbacca and all that shit. So, you know, if you listen to my podcast, I recently went off on painters, people who paint their house, how bad they are at their job.
If there's literally a toddler in the room, they'll paint. They'll just fucking paint everything.
They have no pride in their fucking job. And the amount of shit that I got, it's how I build my podcast.
And this, last week I talked about people that go to the beach, that they're just inherently not smart people. And it's good for our population that these are the test people.
We set off the atom bomb. Let's have them walk towards it.
We can afford to lose these people. So with the Star Wars thing, that's kind of what I was doing.
And also I wasn't, I liked the second one, but the other ones I just, by the time I fucking saw them, I was like 14, 15. I was too busy, you know, obsessing over the fact that I knew I wasn't going to get laid for a long time to give a shit about, yeah, the Muppets in space.
So, uh, fast forward, I don't know how many, 40 fucking years, 35 years. I was at a party, a birthday party for a buddy of mine who knew Jon Favreau.
And, uh, Jon was there. He said, Hey man, I'm, I'm taking over.
I'm doing the Mandalorian thing.

I'm taking over this aspect of Star Wars.

There's a part in there that we're writing for you.

Do you want to do it?

And I was like, dude, I got to be honest with you, man.

I've been trashing Star Wars for a long fucking time.

I don't know about this.

And then he goes, I know.

I listened to your podcast.

I think that would be funny. I think your fans would get a kick out of it if you went in there.
So I was like, really? My wife was with me. She goes, Bill, do it.
That's all right. All right.
So I'll do it. Now, here's the thing.
Had I known his Star Wars was going to look the way it looked, I would have been calling him to get into it because I didn't know he was going to do this whole spaghetti Western bounty hunter looking thing. And I do have to be honest with you.
The first time I went in, the first day, right, I went in and we were rehearsing the scene on the spaceship.

And one,

one actress had like all this purple with tentacles on somebody else look like hell boy. Clancy looked like hell boy.

Brandon was dressed like Boba Fett and they're all talking and shit.

And like, you know,

when you're in the room and like only you find something funny,

you can't laugh.

They were just sort of saying all this space shit to each other. And I kind of had to look down for a second and like regroup.
Like I had a half a second. I was like, I'm on fucking Fraggle Rock.
What am I doing here? But then they said action and they were they were all so good. I was getting smoked.
And after like three takes, it was weird. You just forget that you're all wearing these silly get ups and then you're just shooting the shit about politics or sports talking to somebody with like tentacles coming out of their heads about the Super Bowl and how you think it's fixed it's really like a weird thing but fortunately I somehow got into the thing so I do feel guilty about it because there's so many super fans who should be in it however this was a makeup for uh buddy of mine joe de rosa who could give a fuck about sports and i remember like 10 years ago he came up to me you know he's always squinting right he was just like yeah you Bill, I was in a bar the other night and I had drinks with this guy.
He was somehow connected with the Yankees. I forget his name.
It was, and I was immediately looking at him like, you gotta be shitting me. And he's just, it was like Joe, Joe Terry.
And I was like, Joe Torrey. He's like, yeah, yeah, that was the guy.
I go, you had fucking drinks with Joe Torrey. He was like, yeah.
He's like, is he a big guy? And I just, I had to walk away. So I ended up calling him.
Rub it in a little bit. Hank was actually the one.
No, I waited. I waited.
I got to meet George Lucas. Oh, fuck yes.
I called him up and I said, hey, Joe. I go, it's pretty much known that you hate my guts.
And he goes, Oh, absolutely. Front page news, right? Roy's breaking balls.
So I go, I got a little story for you. I, I, I think it's going to make you hate me more.
And he goes, Oh, fuck. He goes, this has to do with star Wars.
And I said, Joe, did I ever tell you about the time I met George Lucas? And he goes, you motherfucker. And I said, Joe, I'm living your dream.
Go fuck yourself. And I hung up on him.
Oh, fuck yes. That's beautiful.
That is beautiful. So we know our producer, Hank, who you've met, where he stands.
Are you going to be a Tampa Bay Bucs fan this year? Oh, absolutely. Okay, so Hank agrees with you.
Yeah, Hank agrees with you. Everything's short of buying a jersey, just because I'm too old to buy a jersey, right? Abso-fucking-lutely I am.
And obviously I root for the Patriots first, but here's my thing. I want to see Tom Brady, okay, take the Tampa Bay Buccaneers to the Super Bowl and play Patrick Mahomes in the Kansas City Chiefs.
They're trying to go back to back. And Tom Brady's trying to do what Joe Montana didn't quite do.
He made Kansas City, the Chiefs, a playoff team, his second team, but he didn't win the whole thing. and then he wins seven.
He's got one more than Jordan. I don't know.
I think that would be, that'd be unbelievable. But I'm very, listen, I'm not gonna lie to you.
It hurts like hell that he's gone, you know? But I mean, that happens in sports, but I cannot, what he put us on the fucking map, dude. We were a joke.
We played in a high school fucking football stadium. We were a joke.
So I would never be upset and I would never root against that guy unless the Patriots were playing the Buccaneers. I'm going to root for that.
I'm a Patriots fan first. Good for him, dude.
He delayed money so many times making sure that we had a good team. And he took the nine Super Bowls, winning six.
I'm going to fucking cry about that. Can't do it.
So if you were to pick one team to make the Super Bowl next year, you either get the Patriots or the Bucs. Which one are you taking? Oh, the Patriots.
I was a Patriots fan for 30 years before he came along or 20 years before he came along so it's always going to go hometown team first but i am by no means gonna root against him and like dude he's in florida he's not playing state taxes he got a nice fat contract good for him good for him he's got alex guerrero on the training staff now yeah he's got all kinds of stuff he's going on the stern Show. TV 12.
It's been kind of fascinating to see Tom Brady become a human being after he left the Patriots organization, was able to do the Stern Show, all these interviews and stuff. Have you been following that at all? Yeah, but, I mean, that's always been the genius of – how many times is my computer going to ask me if I want to update when I just say maybe tonight? Yeah, you say tomorrow.
I'm always doing tomorrow. Yeah, it just hangs in there, man, like a fucking stalker.
I just think the way Belichick has run his organization, like when I heard Belichick is actually a really funny guy, but when he goes in front of the press, he knows that anything he says is going to be twisted and used as bulletin board material. So he's playing the game, next week's game, right in the post-game press conference.
And I always thought that the press were just sort of babies about it. I don't know.
I just think the press was babies about the Michael Jordan thing where they were like well this is just a fluff piece he had total control it's like dude you fucking assholes have been telling his story for 30 fucking years 40 fucking years it was great finally hear his version of it and sometimes it's just fun to watch stuff like that like I that's the thing that got to me I can something on TV, understand that it's biased as shit and still enjoy it because it was compelling television for four weeks when we didn't have any television out there. So it's like, you don't have to take one or the other.
Yeah, I'll tell you this. Nothing was more, nothing in that, 10 episodes of that was more biased than them trying that bullshit when his dad got killed and tried to tie it to his gambling.
All these i didn't know it was two fucking 18 year old jerk offs random thing it wasn't even a story the fact that they looked the other way and did that i mean and then there's a couple guys one new york guy crying that he wasn't asked to be in it it's fucking hilarious yeah yeah yeah um so bill you've been probably paying attention to the joe rogan thing he's going to Spotify, got 100 mil. How much would you say that that makes old Billy Redbeard? 95 million? 97 million? No, no, no, no.
I don't think I even – no one's even – he's like – his thing, it's the biggest – I don't know. Somebody said it's the biggest podcast in the world.
I mean, anybody with a microphone and a recording device can have a podcast, and he's the number one team or whatever you want to call it. Like, he's the Chicago Bulls, the 90s Bulls of podcasting.
And I just, it was just an amazing thing having been a guest on his show when he used to do it out of his house, you just go to his house and we'd be sitting around his table that that thing grew into this and that he was a total rogue and maverick where he was like, I love that he's completely outside the business and right in the business at the same time. He did the deal himself.
From what I heard, I'm talking out of school a little bit, but when I heard he did that. So what I would like to say to all young podcasters out there is to, you know, agencies are not going to be happy that they didn't get to wet their beak on that thing.
So makes, you know, and agencies are not going to build up your podcast. So now what I'm looking for agents to do is when they sign young actors and comedians is they're going to try to get in between the podcast and the money coming in is going to be their move.
And they're going to be like, we're going to help you build it. We represent this person.
We can get advertisers in. And then once again, your money is going to go to them and then they're going to pay

you with their name on their check, which opens the door for you not being able to steal from them and they can just rob you fucking blind. So if there's any young comics out there watching this, don't ever give up the rights to your podcast.
You build the whole fucking thing yourself and even if you're fucking one tenth as successful as what they're saying rogan got you're doing pretty fucking good it's true it's a good point advice um i had one last question i'm i'm curious this from a from a comic standpoint where are you gonna go with everyone's gonna have coronavirus bits what what's the play are you gonna be like everyone else is doing it what the fuck do i need to do or are you going to make with everyone's going to have coronavirus bits? What's the play? Are you going to be like, everyone else is doing it? What the fuck do I need to do? Or are you going to make fun of everyone else doing it? I'm fascinated because you know that's like someone's there's going to be a bunch of specials next year where there's going to be 20 minutes of coronavirus stuff and jokes. Is that even gone through your mind through all this? Well, listen, when you're a true original like myself you always have a unique take i love you guys just pause there like oh my god is this guy serious no yeah you're serious you are i'm gonna go on i have it what i'm gonna go on with a hazmat suit because i don't think anybody's gonna think to do that right it's good i'll have the sleeves pulled up like they did in the 80s with their sport coat and i'll tape a mullet to the back and i'll what's the deal with corona was that crazy or what that's the beginning i can't give away the punch lines i mean that's a lot i think that's most of the gag right there is like what's the deal with corona are we talking about a cerveza or what i would say this self i would say this uh what i'm i when comedy open up, there's going to be the show within the show.
And that's what I'm going down there to watch, which is a bunch of rusty ass comedians going up there. And I feel like everybody's going to get knocked down.
Like if you were a headliner, you're going to get knocked down to feature. If you're a feature, you're going to be doing, you know, the job like a new Jack host does.
It's going to be a rough one. So it's going to be, I don't know.
I'm just hoping that it comes back. That's all I'm hoping.
Yeah. Rather than later.
I've heard that some comedians are doing like Zoom sets to work on new material. And that sounds like absolute hell.
Like, because most of what you want to get out of practicing the set is like, figure out jokes are landing, when the timing's working, and when it's not. And you don't get that at all from a virtual audience.
That's exactly right. Great point.
I don't know how to do that. I'm just like, I don't know what I'm going to do.
I'm just going to fucking, when they say it's okay to go back on stage again, I'm going to go back on stage. I did do standup for 28 years.
I think I can take 28 weeks off and not forget how to do it, but I don't think I'm going to be as good. So I've already talked to my agent about, you know, local gigs where I can just, there used to be this great theater down the street that just got turned into another fucking luxury apartment building.
But, um, I would go down there and I would just do like a free show. People just show up or whatever.
Now the venue would charge a little bit of money, but I wouldn't make them pay me. And I would just go up and just work the shit out when there's a thing, man, you know, it's very fickle business.
So you can't ever fuck over the people that are coming to see you. So I wouldn't make people pay to see a rusty me.
And yeah, so that's, I think that's the, that's the way I'm going to go about it. Okay.
Just come out there and just swing away for 20 minutes or so, have a few other friends do it. Then the next night do 30 and just try to get it up and going it's fucking killing me man because i had the i had a new 90 fucking minutes and the other day i was walking around and some line from it popped in my head and i tried to think of what came before it and after and it was just nothing it was like i just found like this fucking artifact so i don't know we.
Last, last thing, little good news for you. NHL has announced that their regular season is over and they're about to do a 24 team tournament in two host cities to be named later.
So it looks like it's coming back. It looks like good progress.
When does it start? So it's actually a cool setup. So basically the Blackhks made the playoff somehow um thank you the uh so so the way they're doing it is the bottom teams play a five game series and then the top teams play a round robin top four teams play a round robin for playoff seating so it's kind of cool yeah that that's that's great news i didn't when does that start They didn't announce the start time.
They're still figuring out where they're going to play. So there's 10 hub cities that they're deciding between.
Vegas, Toronto, Chicago, Columbus, Edmonton, Dallas, LA, Minnesota, Vancouver, and Pittsburgh. So there'll be an Eastern Conference city and a Western Conference city.
Play them all there. 24-team tournament.
That's an opening round five-game series is electric. That's going to be great.
That sounds amazing. They used to have that.
And what would happen was a number four could knock off a number one, no problem. The first Bruins game I ever went to was in 1983, and we won the fucking whatever the trophy was for having the – what's the one we got the most points? Oh, the President's Cup.
I'm very familiar with that. Yeah, we won whatever the fuck it was called back then.
We won that, and we went up against the Montreal Canadiens, and of course, you know, that's back when we could never beat them. They came in and they just fucking swept us.
We lost the first one because we were like, this is the year. We're finally going to do it.
We're finally going to beat them in the forum. And they came in the first game, kicked our ass.
And, you know, it sucked was we went there with the French exchange students. That's how I got the tickets through my French class that I was taking.
And they all rooted for the fucking Canadians.

That was a good Bruins team.

Was that with

Ray Bork?

Ray Bork was there, still wearing number seven.

Pete Peters, who I think won the Vesna Trophy

that year.

We still had Peter McNabb, Rick Middleton,

Ken Linsman. I want to say

Wayne Cashman. Might have been his final year.

He might have retired by then.

Stan Jonathan. That was that overlap

From the

Terry O'Reilly was still there

Yeah

Yeah it was a while ago

But like

Guy LaFleur

I think was still playing

Was he

Yeah I think he was still with them

Yeah

Something like that

Long time ago

I'm really excited

That sports is coming back

That's awesome

That just made my day

2014 playoff format

Huge

Huge

Alright so there we go

Bill you brought that back

Thank you

You coming on brought that back

Bill brought sports back, and he's winning an Oscar. Yes.
And when we run this interview on Monday, everyone's going to be like, holy shit, old news, guys. Oh, by the way, Epheser Family Season 4 also comes out June 12th.
There we go. We're going to flip that one out.
I'm moving June 12th, so it's a big day for all of us there's a bunch of stuff i don't think there's going to be enough room on the front page with you moving dude what a day what a day all right bill well thank you as always man it's always always fun and uh we'll talk soon take care hey i love you guys man i love everything you're doing so keep doing it and hopefully we'll actually have some new sports to talk about all right yes

all right guys all right see you man

we're gonna get right back to the show building a business may feel like a big jump but on deck

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All right, back to part of my take. And now, Arian Foster.
And now for something completely different. Okay, we now welcome on a very good friend of ours and a guy who we really respect his opinion.
It is Arian Foster, recurring guest Arian Foster. So, Arian, we obviously are a podcast that, for the most part, just jokes around, doesn't really take anything serious.
When this entire weekend and past week has happened, PFT and I were talking like, we can't just stay silent. We have to talk about this.
So we thought having an actual discussion with someone who has, you know, some profound thoughts and likes to have these discussions would be great. So we appreciate you joining us.
And I guess, I think you're also somebody that is way more well-educated than big cat and I, the intricacies of this situation. So, so I guess I want to just let you kind of start off with, like, what have you been thinking? What has been going through your mind? What is your kind of take on how everything's unfolded the last week, Ben? Right.
Well, first, I appreciate you having me on, and I appreciate you guys using your platform to even have these kind of conversations because our social fabric

in America is, is that it's built upon having these conversations and it leading to progression. But, um, am I feeling on, I mean, it's just a lot, it's kind of a loaded question, Yeah, sorry.

No, you're good.

Our current state in America right now um it's something that's been bubbling for decades right everybody knows the racial well i i reluctantly say that because everybody should know the racial history of america and it operates in America and still reverberates throughout every asset of American life, particularly black life. And so watching all these events unfold, you start to see factions form.
You start to see sides being taken. And that's natural to me.

That's not that's i don't i don't i don't see a problem with that but the problem lies

in um the resistance to the progression that people want to have happen to society

and so just just to lightly ask your question man i feel it's like it was coming. I ran a podcast.
I haven't dropped one in a long time. And I was constantly saying that something's bubbling in America.
And I don't know if this is the overflow of it, but this is a part of American history. And this is a part of America's history.
It's a reoccurring theme, protests, violence. It's just a part of who America is until it addresses its shortcomings.
Yeah. Yeah.
I think what I've been seeing is that there's almost a loss of focus on what the real problems have been over the last, you know, even five or six years, right? So anytime something like this, if it's police brutality, if it's marginalization, something comes into the national light, and pretty quickly, at least on the internet, we move on to the backlash to the person that's bringing up the problem or to the person who's had some sort of injustice inflicted upon them. We move on really quickly and then we start getting mad at the people who are mad at it.
And then we get mad at like one small detail about how somebody is protesting it. And then all of a sudden we've lost complete focus on what we were originally talking about to begin with.
Like, for example, like I feel like we had this conversation back when Ferguson was going on and there were some there were some actual concrete plans for how to change things and how to make small steps. But people stopped listening at some point along the way.
People stopped listening when when the suggestion was made that, hey, maybe the same district attorneys that work hand in hand with the police departments and need these relationships to continue to do their jobs moving forward, maybe they shouldn't be the same individuals that are responsible for whether or not to charge, how the cases proceed, the location of the venue, that sort of thing. It feels like we had something for a second, which was a concrete plan of action, which could be institute some independent oversight into these situations.
So you remove the incestuousness relationship there for any crime that involves a police officer. But we forgot about that because we got mad about how people were protesting, and then we got mad at the people who were mad about how people were protesting.
So I guess my question, I don't have any answers. I don't know how, but I feel like we need to do a much, much better job of focusing on what people are telling us is the issue and believing them and then addressing that issue instead of getting worried about all the bullshit that follows it.
Right. I mean, it's a great point you bring up.
The issue has always been that, right? If you're a student of history, that's one thing that is consistent, is that if you look back at every single protest, there is an opposition saying this is not the right way to do things. Every single one, be it currently if you look they people racist people love to quote martin luther king jr they love him now but in this in the 60s and the civil rights movement was going on they hated him racist people hated mlk he was a agitator he was he was uh he was being uh phone tapped by the fbi cointel pro actually happened right so it's easy to to have 2020 in hindsight with with with these issues right but i'm just like i said i'm a student in history and it's following the exact same pattern they're saying the looting and the rioting this is not the way i agree with your message but is not the way.
In 2016, when the select few of us kneeled for the national anthem to bring up these very same issues that are plaguing us, what was the rhetoric? I agree with what you're saying, but this is not the way. So you don't like peaceful protests.
You don't like violent protests. What is it that you accept? It comes a point in time where we have to realize that they don't accept the premise that it's a problem.
And if that's the case, these buildings burners is what you're going to get. Because if you don't feel like that pain or that death is a problem, what other means of communication is there in American history other than revolt? This country was built on revolt.
This country was built on rebellion. And you're going to tell me that it's un-American or it's not the right way.
I call bullshit. And this is what you get.
So the NFL aspect, I saw your tweet, and it makes perfect sense. I mean, the fact that there was so much backlash to Kaepernick and you had people saying, you know, the national anthem is not the time.

And now those same people are saying peaceful protests the only way.

Do you feel did you see that coming or do you feel betrayed at all by or did you expect that out of the NFL to now release a statement being like, oh, yeah, we support people who

are upset about George Floyd. Yeah, nah.
I've been on the record talking about the NFL for a long time, ever since the Ray Rice stuff happened, when Ray Rice was kind of blackballed from the league for domestic abuse, right? this was at the height of my career

and

they suspended him for the year or something like that and i grew up in a domestically violent household and so that that particular subject hit home to me and what i was trying to reiterate to roger goodell which i wrote a long letter to him couldn't get a hold of get on the phone with him. Insanity in that aspect.
But I was basically telling him that you have an opportunity to have a national conversation about domestic violence because domestic violence isn't an NFL football player problem. Cops do it.
Firemen do it. Military people do it.
Doctors do it. Domestic violence is a civil rights issue.
And so you have an opportunity to have a platform to have these conversations instead of hiding from it. So the NFL has a track record of being reactionary rather than proactive.
Yeah. And this is exactly what they're doing right now.
They're doing it. They're saying that they're with the protest.
They're saying it because it's safe to do so now. It's very safe because you have the people on the side, on your side.
But it's not about that. It's about retroactive stuff now.
OK, if you're really with it, then condemn the ownership that has blackball cap, condemn the ownership that has funded and backed publicly a man that is calling the same protesters thugs and calling for civil unrest.

Like, call that out.

Because these bland statements of we want justice, what the fuck does that mean?

Like, what does that mean?

Like, do something that's not popular or that will affect your bottom dollar to let me know it's real.

Because if not, you just playing status quo. Society always is leaning towards progression, right? As time goes on, it gets more progressive.
So, what the NFL thought four years ago is not how they think today. And that's because of the progress made by Kaepernick's protests and all of the work that has been done.
So, in order for them, in my eyes, to be genuine, they're going to have to walk some of that shit back and call some of these owners out do you i also saw you tweet and i really like this part because sometimes it feels like i don't know what to do because i'm not you know i'm a white guy and i i'm i'm will flat out admit that that life is a lot has been a lot easier for me will continue to be a lot easier for me and no one really wants to hear my take on this but i did love your tweet where you're like small victories matter and you can get exacerbated so like what are some of the small victories that people should be looking to to be like hey you know what because i i agree with you i think the nfl has changed a little bit in the last four years it's not big but i think that they've at least changed a little bit of their mentality and like it slowly happens and eventually you get to a point where people won't allow the same things that happened 10 years ago 20 years ago to happen today 10 years from now 20 years from now right well that's that's the that's the kind of curse of being human is is is you you're trapped in the in the now right and so is you're trapped in the now, right?

And so when you're trapped in the now, it's hard for you to see that you are part of a collective. And we are all part of this collective society and this basically human experiment of America.
This is a big social experiment. And so when you look, when you view the world from that lens, it becomes very, very clear.
but when you view the world as as just right

now this is when you get the issues that you have going on so people are are saying i i understand the frustration of like yo i'm fucking tired of marching i'm tired of talking to these people like from protesters who are just like they want to go out and call so i understand where they're coming from, right?

But what they have

to understand is

and people against protests as well, what you have to understand is you're a part of a long lasting history of America. And your part in it plays a huge role.
Every single part of it. Two white men with one of the biggest podcasts on the globe talking about racial issues wanting to hear from somebody who is black is a big part of it right every single person has a has a part in it we're not going to fix racism by the time we die it's not gonna happen this has been going on for millennium and so all you can do is your part fix your world like it sounds super corny and cliche but it's the truth.
And those small victories add up over time. Like I get in, you know, because amongst our community, we talk amongst ourselves all the time about solutions because everybody's like, well, I'm tired of marching.
What about what are we going to do to change shit? Like you're not going to change shit. All you can do is fix small things at a time.
I get in arguments people all the time. But what did Caps protests do? Caps protests brought a national conversation to the forefront of the world.

Right. things at a time i i get in arguments people all the time but what did caps protests do caps protests brought a national conversation to the forefront of america the world really to the world and if if not only that that it was it was it was productive but it didn't just do that it changed political discourse now social justice listen to the 2008 uh democratic primaries and then listen to the 2020 Democratic primaries.
Well, social justice has taken a huge step forward and it wasn't just cap, but cap had a big part in that. So to answer your question, a lot of people get caught up in the now like they want they want legislation to change tomorrow.
It's not going to happen. People have been this system has been instituted for hundreds of years.
It's not going to happen tomorrow.

It has to happen by slow change legislatively, but also consciously from a public. All legislation is, is our thoughts on paper.
That's all it is. So the zeitgeist of meaning the overall feeling of Americans is what changes legislation.
So the culture has to fill the shock and all before anything has to happen. And that's, and that's why it's so important.
Like shit like this, having conversations with people that you don't necessarily frequent. Right.
Yeah. Uh, I, I think a big problem in white America, and maybe I'm speaking from personal experience has been the fact that a lot of white people feel like it's worse to be labeled a racist than racism is.

Does that make sense?

Yeah, man. Like, the last thing any white person wants to think about themselves or be called is a racist.

But I think it's time to have an honest conversation with ourselves and say, like, everybody, I think most people of most races have prejudices.

We come with our prejudices depending on where we grew up who we grew up around right just our natural personalities we all have these prejudices so yes we are all we all have elements of racism if you think if you're one of those people that say oh i don't see color at all then you're a fucking liar because like that's the most ignorant thing you can say it's nonsense it's absolute nonsense so like maybe it's time that we need to have a conversation with ourselves and say yes these are the elements of my life these are the views that i have that contain harmful prejudices or elements of racism and here's how they can be changed it's one of the one of the things that has been driving me crazy is wrestling with the fact that everyone wants – there's basically a checklist. If you don't tweet something, then you're complicit.
But I'm not tweeting anything because I think Twitter's a cesspool. And the minute I tweet something, the first reply – we talked about this before you came on, Arian – the first reply is always someone hijacking my conversation.
So someone's then taking away. And so, like, people will say right now their response to, hey, this is a fucked up thing that happened.
They'll be like, well, white people get killed by cops, too. And it's like, but that's not what we're talking about right now.
So, like, that's kind of what you're saying, PFT. Like, their response won't be simply like, you know what? This is fucked up.
We've got to figure it it out people never want to feel like they're the bad guy in any situation and sometimes guess what news flash you are the bad guy i am the bad guy sometimes like the issue the issue is yourselves yeah the issue is when when when racist people think of racism they don't necessarily like it's a it's a very small percentage of racist people that think of themselves as racist, like in the terms of the Ku Klux Klan, where they'll openly admit white people are more superior. Like, that's not how racism works.
And anybody who studies this shit understands this. Right.
When you talk to sociologists and economists like anybody who studies this shit understands like that's not how racism works and operates. right and that's the problem the problem is it's hard to even point out uh people's racism because they don't view it as racist a great case in that is this the this recent case right it's perfectly outlines what it is that lady that called the cops on on the bird watching dude yep um so you can say k, you can say Karen, Karen, it's not, it's not a bad word.
Um, so she calls the cops on this dude and she weaponizes the police against a black man. Right.
So what, what, what does that mean? She said, I'm going to call the police on it. What does that mean? It means she understands very well the relationship between black people and the police in this country.
She understands that. Not only does she understand that she understands that when that police officer comes, he's more than likely going to have a high percentage of assuming guilt for the black man right away.
So she understands that dynamic. Right.
And then when all that transpires and all that's done, she then turns around in her party, but I'm not racist. Right.
She doesn't view herself as racist. That's how racism works.
Right. And I was having a conversation with some of the cats that when we first decided to kneel, there was like a league wide text conversation about should we do it or should we not do it? I ended up leaving it because a lot of them didn't want to.
So I was telling them, I was was like our fathers and our grandfathers had a very hard fight right like they had to fight my father had to be inside like before the lights was on like there was martial law in los angeles my grandfather of course was a part of jim crow like they had a very hard fight but i was explaining to him how our fight is actually a little harder not in the sense that we that we haven't progressed as a society but in the sense that we're fighting a blind enemy i have to convince some of my people that there's still a fight to be had right i have to convince racists that they're racist because they don't see it right and so all these dynamics working against the common good is the issue and until we address that like you have to have a real conversation. Just like you said, prejudice is, to me, it could be a very positive and healthy thing.
I don't necessarily think prejudice, prejudice is being prejudiced is a bad thing. As long as you don't bring any extra baggage to it, like, like saying Asians don't drive well, like it's a funny joke, right? It's, but it's, but it's a prejudice thing to say, like it can, it can be a gateway to understanding an entire culture, right? If you use it in the correct way.
But the issue is the negative stereotypes that we bring to our prejudices actually harm people. And that's, and that's, and that's when racism comes to the party, right? So when you say, um, black people are less intelligent, right? When you things like that that's when that's when that's when it becomes dangerous because how racism works here is you might not think you're racist but you start to believe in some of these stereotypes then you become uh um a uh a conduit to to the oppression right because what you're then doing is you're saying it's okay then you're doing you you you agree with it but then say you're in a position of power say you can hire people say you can do whatever the whatever the case may be you are then in a position to do harm a police officer right study after study says a black man is more um viewed excuse me viewed as more harmful than a non-black man right these stereotypes harm people that's how racism works they think it's just a little bias a little prejudice it is but when when it when you bring that into the real world that's how that shit operates yeah and and it's interesting that you brought that up because it becomes it turns into actions and it turns into harmful actions.
And those actions beget more more like just bad situations across the board, because now you have entire generations of minority kids that grow up and they're afraid of police officers. When they get pulled over, they their anxiety goes through the roof.
They get nervous. They deal with these like mental issues as well that stacks on top of it.
And it's, it's a ripple effect. And, um, like I'm, I'm starting to see it more and more.
I also think that it's kind of bullshit that at least in our profession and you know, if you're a sports fan, you deal for the most part, if you watch the NBA or the NFL, especially like your lives are invested. You care about these black men that are playing a sport for your entertainment, right? But the second they start to all share their shared experiences, a lot of people are so quick to just say, oh, bullshit, and just like turn their ears off and not even listen.
Stick to sports. And you can't – I was thinking about myself personally in that situation where it's like, I can't in good conscience interview a black person if I don't listen to what they have to say about their own experience.

I can't interview a black person and expect it to be a productive conversation about the

sport they play or whether it has nothing to do with race whatsoever.

If I'm also unwilling to ask that same black person about their experience being black in America. That's super dope.
I mean, I think if progress is going to happen, we need white people like you. What is...
I don't want... So there are going to be a bunch of people that are...
Oh, no, tomorrow's going to be a shit show. That are going to come at me and all this we're virtue signaling whatever right fuck you that's absolutely gonna happen yeah let me address that real quick because i hear that a lot from racist people and they'll say i shouldn't have to feel guilty about being white right i agree you're conflating guilt with empathy that's all it is like it saying i see black people struggling right or i see the plight against a people of color is not the same as saying i'm uh it's wrong for me to be white in this country nobody's saying that's a straw man nobody is nobody is propping that up as an argument at all they're conflating guilt with empathy all it is is empathy it's just like i don't it's not the exact same it's not directly analogous but it's very akin to like the transgender issue right and people misgendering them it's like i used to i used to be in the camp of like yo there's only two sexes right and i don't want to get too deep into this because this is about something else but it's kind of analogous where i used to i used i used to be like yo there's only two sexes right until i actually talked to one uh to a transgender a woman who uh let me understand her experiences and how it makes perfect everything made perfect sense and so it's like although i i don't feel how she feels if that's how she wants to be called why would i not do that just to ease her life if that makes you have i happy, I'll call you whatever you want to be called.
But to the point, it's just me being empathetic. If you say this shit hurts you, dog, I'm going to do everything in my pod not to hurt you.
Right. Period.
Right. So, yeah, I mean, I'm fully expecting to have to mute like a million people tomorrow because it will be just, oh, my God, PFT and Big Cat with the white guilt.
Like, holy shit. Whatever it's fine because i that's a fantastic point by you it's not i'm not feeling guilty i'm trying to learn i'm trying to be a better person overall and understand i spent all weekend with cnn on being like i fucking hate seeing my country just ripped apart like this sucks and i don't know what to do i i would i what i think would help and i'm big in the belief that like there are people who are set in their ways the people who tweet us white guilt by the way we could do we could send them a thousand dollars and be like listen to this conversation and they still wouldn't and they still wouldn't care and we still couldn't change their mind i'm more about changing people's minds who kind of just sit in that middle spot where they're like what what do i do or i don't really understand this so my question to you is i know when i get pulled over when i see a police officer i've i'm more mad that i got pulled over it's like oh man like they're probably gonna yell at me for being on my phone while i'm driving when you or anyone you've you know your your your friends or've talked to, what is that like? Like, what does that just feel like when you have an interaction with the police officer? All right.
I mean, it's a great question. So if a lot of the people that spew that rhetoric, like what you said earlier, what you're going to get from your crowd is more, more white people are killed by black people, right? adjust for the population it drastically changes one two if any dead body by a by a by a government official doesn't bother you like something should be wrong yeah yeah we're born we're born in a society where it's okay for a government to take a life yeah like that Like that shit should bother you.
But I mean, regardless of that point, how I explain this to my white brothers and sisters is this, is how often do you have a conversation or did you have a conversation with your parents about how to interact with police? It's probably very rare in y'all's community. And so growing up, it was known, Like this is how you interact with police it's probably very rare in y'all's community never right and so growing up it was it was known like this is how you interact with them right um the issue one more before i go deep into it one more issue with the more white people are killed than black people is it's the ben shapiro crowd right the whole facts over, right? It's an asinine thing to say when you're talking about social science, because when you're talking about, it's not physics.
This is not calculations, right? When you're talking about social science and data, what are they doing? They're doing polling and they're doing research and they're doing, uh, uh, um, accounts of like bodies, right? So what does that not account for though?

That does not account for anecdotes.

That does not account for how can you quantify a police officer roughing you up?

How can you quantify that?

Who do you report it to?

Where is that in your data?

It's not.

How do you quantify decades of that?

You cannot and you will not.

That's why police relations in inner city communities are bad.

It has a lot to do with the drug war.

It has a lot to do with race issues.

On and on.

But I just wanted to address that really quick so it's a great point it's a great point because the like the the facts over feelings is what a lot of go to you know the the chart that they everyone tweets and they're like here are the facts get your facts it's like this is not a strictly fact based thing and what you just said they don't know how math works most of the time like they never want to talk about the disproportionate right the uh the different size and population reporting it like you said you can't you can't put a fact on something that doesn't get reported right right and then if you on top of that if they if they want more facts if they want more, the Department of Justice did a study in 2000. I think it was 16 or 15 where they found inherent racism in the Chicago PD, in the Baltimore PD.
And I think it was like three or four more there where they found inherent racism structurally inside of those police departments. Right.
And so when you give them that, what do they say? They say, oh, the Justice Department, it's corrupt. Right.
That's what Trump is banging. Right.
It's the corrupt. So when the facts come out from your government, from the Federal Bureau of Investigations that say black people are are have more murder rates.
Black people are less likely to get killed by police. Right.
You accept those facts, but you don't accept the Department of Justice saying that there is inherent racism in the Chicago PD and in the Baltimore PD. Like you have to pick a side and any any intelligible human being will understand that it is a nuanced conversation, that it's just you can't get one piece of that and say, yep, that's the answer.
That's why this shit has been going on for decades and millenniums. And there's reasons to why, but it's all multifaceted.
America is a melting pot. But we can talk about that shit all day.
But to your point. I just want to add to what you just said.
You can look at stats from the street crime unit in New York City in the 80s, early 90s, whenever that was. And you can see how many people were pulled over just because they were in the wrong community.
And so they pull them over just as a matter of principle, search them, all that stuff. And then that ripple effect that goes off of that, those people then in turn carry around ill will to the police.
They teach their children, okay, here's what happens. Here's how we're being discriminated against our community.
And then that contributes to a massive, massive divide and a huge mistrust between the community and the police. That's not going to get any better.
And that's something that will not show up in a graph so feelings yeah okay you can say feelings don't count the same as numbers they might actually count more because like there's so many people out there that are affected mentally by what has happened that it's going to contribute to violence in the future and that's not you don't see that on the ground absolutely and that And that's why that sentiment, that facts to the feelings sentiment in the context of social issues is just plainly stupid. It's very plainly stupid.
And and data can be useful. Like, don't get me wrong.
Data can be and is very useful. But to to to compartmentalize it as the the objective truth is just ridiculous.
It's not even like no social scientist even takes that seriously. And to me, like the reason why somebody like Ben Shapiro has a platform that he does is because he'll say a thousand times he's not racist.
A thousand times. But he speaks the same language that Trump speaks insofar as he dog whistles to people who feel like that who feel like this country is making me feel guilty for being white that's dog whistling that's the issue with that fan base but i don't want to get y'all in trouble with uh ben shapiro no that's fine i roast him all the time i do an impression of him but i i also i also want to say that i also want to say that like our our listener base i don't want to act like our listener base is going to listen to this conversation and hate everything that we're saying no no because i think the vast vast majority of them will listen to and be appreciative and hear what you have to say i'm talking about the people who won't listen but will still get mad the people who are going to treat us white guilt aren't going to listen yeah they're going to they're going to tweet it without listening and, oh, look at them.
They're fucking cucks. And they won't even listen.
So it doesn't even matter. That's all good.
That's all good. I don't mind offending those people.
To the original question. Yeah, yeah.
To your point. So I grew up and my father specifically taught us how to interact with police.
When you get pulled over, you leave your hands on the steering wheel. You don't make any quick, sudden movements.
You don't reach for anything. These are the kind of conversations that we were just, I didn't think anything of it because I mean, I only grew up in one household.
So I was like, okay, everybody, it wasn't until I really started going to college and being interacting in other kinds of communities where I was like, yo, y'all didn't have these kinds of conversations. That's, that's wild to me.
So you start understanding your role in society to, to, to another point why the facts over feeling stuff is kind of, doesn't make any sense. Like when I was younger, there was a, like I said, I grew up in a domestically violent household.
And so we got the cops called, the neighbors called the cops on us, right. On a turmoil I was going to the house.
It was loud we got the cops called the neighbors called the cops on us right on the turmoil i was going to the house it was loud um and the cops came in and my sister was on the phone uh and uh with my father i think it was my no my mother somebody and uh she's what 15 years old right and the cop said put the phone down he came in aggressive he came up upset and. And at this point, I'm like 11.
He came in aggressive. He was like angry.
And he's like, put the phone down. She's like, no, I'm talking to my...
She's 15 years old, dog. And so she takes off running into her room.
And I saw this man, this grown man tackle her, right? And I'm 11. And I'm crying.
I'm screaming. And I try to run to go save her.
And the other cop hems me up, right? Shit like that. When I was growing up in, when I moved to San Diego, we had all our stuff in our car, and we drove, we were driving to L.A.
to go visit my grandfather, who just passed. RIP, my dog.
But we're driving from San Diego to L.A., and we get pulled over by the cops. And the police officer up and he goes, uh, step out of the car.
And my dad says, officers are something that I did. And he said, just step out of the car.
And he turns to me and he says, just do everything he says. And so he, he puts him out on the curb.
And then a couple of minutes later, he, he pulls me out. He says, you step out of the car too.
And we were both sitting on the curb, father and his son sitting on a curb. son sitting on a curb he he makes his open a trunk he we put all of our bags out of the trunk he he then takes all the clothes out of the bags right it's like two or three bags full of clothes and he just and apparently he was looking for drugs or something i don't know and uh find what he's looking for so he said all right you guys have a good i drove off and now his now as a father and a son sitting here packing clothes back in to uh it's just a degrading experience right and so that's the that's the that's what so when i was having a conversation with tommy lauren and she was explaining to me how she felt like the protest the initial protest the kneeling was disrespectful and i was telling her that you don't have a monopoly on what it means to be american and how how to feel in america and so when you see the flag and the star spangled banner and the stripes you get a real like visceral feel good feeling about i don't i don't feel that shit at all i don't and you and you can't make me feel that shit i wish i did feel that shit when i heard the star spangled banner national I wish I did but I don't like the song the flag I'm I'm real indifferent about the flag I don't feel like this inherent like I love to be an American like it's just not and a lot of us feel like that I'm very grateful for the opportunities that I've had I'm very grateful for all of that shit but the the experience that I've had in America does not make me feel all happy happy joy joy like it does for you when you say i'm american right it's not the same and and that experience is valid right and and what they're doing is they're trying to invalidate that experience and anytime you do that you're gonna lose that battle because this is how people feel you can't argue with emotions right and so you have you have to you have to acknowledge that and if you want any kind of if you are for any kind of diplomacy if you really want peace like you say you do then you'll listen it's a great point it's a fucking great point because it's just something that you don't like it really is what what everyone goes to is don't disrespect the flag and don't disrespect the national anthem.

And I definitely feel pride when I see the flag and hear the national anthem

and just hear you say like, Hey, that's not the exact emotion.

I'm feeling like that right there explains, you know,

why people have so many difference of opinions online on wherever they may be

because of the emotion that one singular thing that everyone assumes is exactly the same across the board is not here's another one here's another it's a real quick one but here's another one that like when you bring it up to like racist people they're like oh shit here we go again but it's a real thing like if you guys do your family history like your lineage you like you'll have a family crest and you're gonna know you come from. And you're like, oh, this is where we're from.
Oh, that's dope. That's awesome.
That's cool. Right.
It's probably just like a thing to you. But when we do it, like if I do it, like it only goes so far.
It goes to a slave owner. This is a real thing.
And so that heritage, like this is this is what I don't think people understand is like our heritage in America is racism. That's what it is.
Like we, I can't go back and trace my ancestors. I can't.
It's cut off. And so my, my last name Foster was a plantation owner.
Like that shit is a real thing. Like it's a real trauma and it's discounted and it's, it's, it's,ia upon millennia and to me it is the core reason why black culture has been the mecca of entertainment and the mecca of music it's because we translated that trauma through pain into that entertainment it's why hip-hop is the number one genre in the world it's why you have sports and we dominate that, that, that genre.
It's that's why it's because we have used that vessel of entertainment to translate that pain and, and all of this shit that you're seeing in, in these days, it's just reverberation from that. On top of it, like, I don't want to, it's not just race that's going on right now.
And I think that's a bigger issue that needs to be talked about not the bigger it is a issue that needs to be talked about as well is the economic turmoil that people are in with all of this shit is fresh it's pent-up frustration it's just pent-up frustration but it all comes from the have-nots it all comes from people being frustrated so you either gonna listen or you're gonna you're gonna beat them to death death. And that's that's to me, that's the we're all hypocrites to a certain extent.
Right. Everybody is.
But this hypocrisy to me is like unforgivable, is that you you're you're not OK with people looting and burning buildings. Right.
That's not OK. You don't like the destruction of poverty.
OK, cool. but you are okay with police resistance to that and them being violent you have to pick a side you either like violence or you don't like violence fuck that right and that's and that's that's where we're at right now it's like you have people like well this is not the way unless you give me a solution i don't want to hear from you like this is not the way what is the way yeah there's there's never ever going to be a time when somebody is going to agree with a method of protest that makes them out to be the bad guy like you look back people were killed for registering people to vote in a legal manner people have been killed a dude got fucking caned to death basically on the floor of the senate while he was following robert's rules of fucking order you know like it doesn't matter how how uh like proper your protest is at any given time like people are going to resist being called an asshole and and instead of addressing maybe what the root of the problem is right and i i obviously think that you know unnecessary violence and destruction at some point it's like what what are we doing here? But you're absolutely right.
When a police officer murders someone in broad daylight, the rules to society have been broken. So you can't then be like, let's put the rules back on by saying no destruction of property.
The social contract is gone. A thousand're holding you're holding untrained civilians to a higher standard than you are are holding trained government officials yeah and you have to check yourself like you have to understand the the ramifications of what you're asking of your civilians that is that is asked it's just not even a logical stance to take to me i do want want to say, though, that the people that are coming in from like different neighborhoods, like the Jake Paul's of the world up in Minnesota, that are just like taking part of the looting for fun and destroying local businesses when you obviously are not connected to the cause or what the people are trying to protest.
Like that's normal, though. Yeah.
But but but fuck you to Jake Paul is what I'm getting. Let let me ask you this yeah yeah i think we can all agree let me ask you this arian what like i you know i i know i have a couple friends who are police officers and they're good people and i do not think that every police officer is a terrible racist person that wants to kill people in cold blood but what is the answer because like what is the what's the answer from the police force perspective like how do they fix it because i do think it's on them to repair their relationship with society in general and the black community in particular right so there's a there's a few there's a few um remedies for what's going on um the first glaring one is you have to admit that there's an issue,

right? You have to admit that there is a problem. And if you have a police department that does not

feel like there's a problem, then the rest of what I'm about to say is no and void. So

how do we have justice in our society our in our society? So in order in order for this to happen, you have to have a system in which it is commonplace for there to be justice. Right.
So that has to be the norm rather than the protection of officers, which is what we currently have.

You have the judges, the district attorneys all working for the same under the same umbrella. And so they're supposed to prosecute the people that are all having brunch with them.
It's not going to happen. Right.
And so you have to have serious talks within the branch about. making sure that these things are are cut off at the root of the systematic issue and a part of it part of it is is us as well we have to um learn our rights more for sure but i don't want to i don't want to i don't want to that's that's probably a conversation i have with my people um i lost my train of thought hold on we're saying uh about how the uh relationship between like the district attorneys that's right okay so if you want to make a change look inside right right right um there has to be justice and probably restorative justice from and and the consequences that the police face for these kind of things just aren't enough and that was the initial spark of the entire thing of what conor cavernick was saying is that it's just it's just not enough um so if you want change it has to start from there.
Like there was a, there was a March in Jersey, right?

Yes.

In this last couple of days where there was a March and the police officers

joined them.

Yes.

What does that say?

Yes.

Yeah.

I specifically was trying to retweet because no one's taught like it won't

be on CNN.

It won't be on NBC.

It won't be on Fox because they, they do sell off of America is falling

apart.

I was like, there was one in Flint, Michigan.

There was one in Flint, Michigan, where it was like the police officer was talking to everyone, let's go march together. It's like, yes, this is when we say it's not all bad police officers.
These are the police officers we're talking about. Art Acevedo down in Houston kind of came out ahead of everybody else and said the same thing.
So we should be promoting that like instead of saying it's not all police officers then hoping that you just like promote the good ones promote everyone who's trying to do it they have to not be silent as well they have to condemn that shit they have to they have to not be silent yeah but like be loud yeah Like be fucking loud. Right.
That is a huge issue.

I mean, a huge issue. A huge part of it.
It's about accountability. But it's not going to take place without to me the issue I have with people that have issues with the protests right now, I mean, they say, well, this isn't the way or looting doesn't do anything.
I'm just calling bullshit. There's a there is time after time again in American history where rioting and looting has caused change in America.
It happens over and over and over again. I can cite time after time where that is the case.
We love to quote Martin Luther King. We love to quote the civil rights movement because it was nonviolent.
And that's just because it makes you feel good. That's the only reason why.
Pain is still pain and you can't mitigate that shit. And you can't tell people how to feel.
And you can't tell people that that shit doesn't work because it does. So that's why I'm not an advocate for looting.
I'm not an advocate for burning the building. But I'm not I'm also not saying don't burn the buildings.
I'm saying feel how you feel. Like, fuck that building.
Like, do you think like that man's family gives a shit about the target? Target came out and said, with the protesters like we'll rebuild we'll be all right several small businesses have coming out come out and said that shit that's because they understand what's going on and what's at stake the soul of this place is at stake and you have a divided place and so if if if you really want that's the only thing that's gonna happen like or else you're gonna have a gonna have war As this is what it is I would never put on a cape for Target If it's Dave and Buster's then I might have to Spring to action Like hey it's okay We'll fix the Target I also think that there's something about the job The very nature of police work that makes this A difficult hurdle to get over And that's if you're let's say that you're one of the thousands of good police officers that want to serve your community out there. The entire force is built on the understanding that every one of your fellow officers is going to have your back.
And it's very, very tough for police officers to speak out too forcefully. And that because that of their career a lot of times.
Then maybe no one else trusts them. And so I feel like the right answer to this is maintaining more independent oversight because I don't think that we're going to be able to count on every police officer to come out and speak forcefully against their fellow coworkers for fear of retribution or just because it's something that they elect not to do.
Yeah, no. And that's, that's fine.
Right. But that's the problem, right? It's, is if you, if you don't want to speak out against injustices, then you're complicit.
That's just how I feel. And that's how a lot of people feel is if you don't want to speak out against it then you're okay with it and if you're not okay with it you're gonna say something right and and i'm not talking about tweeting about it right i'm talking about talking to your fellow officers about the shit um uh along to your point which is when i was losing my train of thought i was like what else can we do It's a hundred percent.
It's like, we have to change the training of our police officers. We have to, we have to, we have to have an emphasis on human value and de-escalation rather than aggression.
Like I've had buddies that have trained too. And, you know, I'm pretty sure each police force is different, but the ones that I've talked to, they said, we're, we're trained with with the mindset of like leave what did he say he said leave he said come home with the same amount of holes in your body that you that you went to work with he said it's better to be judged by 12 than carried by six like that's the mindset police officers have like that's the mindset that they have and so that a lot of the issue is legislation why why is there so many interactions with civilians anyway? Like a lot of these laws and stuff we have are just.
We're just used to them. They're just they're just nostalgic.
Right. We don't we don't need all of this oversight.
Like and this is this is a whole nother political conversation. Right right but a lot of the police interference isn't

necessary and and a lot of people probably won't agree with that one but um it's just the truth like if you look at like what the main cause of black people being in jail for or people of color in general is the drugs drugs it's it's petty petty drug crimes right and so that causes so much police interaction if if that's that's at a legislative level so if if we could if we could somehow uh decriminalize these things it will it will cause less or have a lessen the probability of you interacting with police because if you if you can freely walk around with we right in all over america this it just drops the rate in which we are even having to come in contact with each other and everyone's a lot more chilled out too yeah so we're in fact but it's a multifaceted issue just to answer your question there's a lot of different things that we could we could do but uh it takes the start of it like this just to have a conversation yeah are you um are you optimistic about the future because i spent this entire weekend just being sad Just being really sad about the state of everything and very pessimistic about... I believe that things are going to get worse before they get better.
I hope I'm wrong about that. But I would put myself in the category of pessimist right now and I don't like feeling pessimistic.
Are you personally feeling optimistic about things? About this particular subject no um i think in i think it's gonna be a long time before like real change happens um i think this is gonna continue to happen for a while but i'm i'm a pessimist by nature so i'm pessimistic about humanity but i'm a pessimist because uh i want good like i want there to be good and it bothers me it keeps me up at night and so um i think how i deal with my pessimism is i just try to just do my part like fix my world like i said it's corny it's like the dalai lama shit but it's like in order for me to be a sane human being and not just be angry all the time i just just have to fix my world like what can i fix what can i help like so there's plenty things i've done for our communities there's plenty of things i continue to do plenty of things i'm planning on doing in the future and and that's all i can do i can't i can't fix this shit by myself but like i said these kind of conversations may spark maybe maybe everybody that listens to it is like fuck that dude he's full of shit y'all are full of shit but maybe one person is like you know what that shit makes sense to me and i'm gonna go have a conversation with my family about it and if if just because of that his shit was worth it no i that's pretty much my intention with this i know that uh like we said earlier there will be some backlash there'll be some people that will accuse us of virtue signaling whatever that means means you have a conscience at the end of the day and when i hit you up i was like i just want to listen i just want to hear another you know the side that i'm not living myself and i think that's the what your point is exactly right like people if you if you want to do something a tweet really doesn't do much doesn't do shit i hate that I hate the fact that a tweet now becomes the, like, checking the box I tweeted so I'm good. I just want to listen.
And people should just listen. Let me interject right there.
I used to feel like that, too. Like, I was like, social media shit isn't, you know, like, fuck, that shit isn't doing anything.
But no, it does, dog. You think so? Yeah, and let me tell you why man because prior to social media you didn't know how people felt right and that's why there was a little bit of calm in our society and the reason why it's so disruptive right now is because of social media and it's because you can't really hide how you feel it's like you kind of have to broadcast it unless you just take a neutral stance.
Right. And most, most times not the neutral stance is, is, is, is anti this movement.
Um, but tweeting and letting your following understand where you stand on a subject, uh, can be comforting for them because there's people out there who are in places where they are the minority and how they feel. And if somebody that they like and they love and they look up to and they listen to understands what they're going through, understands that, then that can change and keep them motivated to keep fighting that fight fight and so i used to feel like that but it's like social media it is real like people always admit this shit ain't real twitter's not a real it's real dog this shit shit goes down on twitter shit you know i'm saying like change happens on twitter news happens on twitter a lot of shit happens on twitter people's careers get started people's careers get ruined a lot of shit happens because of social media so it's like i would i would just interject that i understand your sentiment it's like you would rather just have a conversation i understand it and i'm not saying you have to tweet it that's not what i'm saying all i'm saying is understand the other side of that is like it does social media it is engaging in a way that that can be beneficial to to having empathy towards uh other other people's cause.
It's a good point. I probably also am like, I just get so exacerbated when I do tweet something serious, that it just gets, like I said, hijacked by the first reply, then becomes a conversation about something totally different.
But you're, I mean, it's a good point. I think there are a couple ways to look look at that perspective one is from what arian's saying which is there might be somebody out there that identifies what you say and what you put out there makes them feel better about their place makes them feel supported that's one side of it the other side i think is the one that big cat and i were alluding to where it's like okay you tweet something out and then there's a big argument that just comes into your mentions and that's the focus of the conversation or it's uh yes you said this but why aren't you speaking out about this and that's more on our side and how we feel about like okay the expectations that would go along with like putting out a tweet and i think a lot of people do put out a tweet just to feel better about themselves right they check that box we do a lot of stuff i know big cat does i certainly do like behind the scenes that we don't broadcast to everybody because i feel like a lot of times if you're broadcasting every good thing that you do or every everything that you think is good that you do uh then it just becomes you know for all the wrong reasons like you're seeking i agree with that attention and um and that's not a trap that i want to get into on on a litter a little lighter note i you had a tweet the other day i think it was may 26 i want to ask you about this i think it was may 20 you knew the exact thing i haven't pulled up right in front of me i think it was around 3 45 it was mid may 20s it had something like 21 replies one these are gross you got ratio 21 replies one retweet 212 likes my internet tabs are everywhere last three tabs Low.
You got ratio. 21 replies, one retweet, 212 likes.

My internet tabs are everywhere.

Last three tabs, lol.

Tab number one, a Britannica article on why Nazis weren't socialists.

Tab number two, article outlining the contingency argument for God.

Article three, a Google search on where to watch Blank Man.

So my question is, did you find out where blank man is?

Cause that movie whips ass.

Absolutely.

No,

it's on Amazon prime,

brother.

There it is.

Perfect.

Um,

Aaron,

this has been awesome, man.

I really appreciate you doing this.

It like,

honestly,

not even for our listeners,

for me personally,

you've brought up points that I haven't even considered.

And that's really all I'm trying to do right now is like,

Hey,

I, I didn't even think about that. I didn't even think about that perspective.
So this has been awesome, man, and we really, really appreciate it. You're always welcome back.
We really value your ideas and your thoughts and everything you've thought through. And, yeah, we welcome you back.
We still need to microdose at some point. We need to microdose to do a podcast, and I'm going to try to beat Alabama tonight with Tennessee.
So we'll see. I will be there, brother.
I will be there. I'll be watching.
You did text me a couple weeks ago. You're like, I'm a fan of Coach Doug's.
I was like, all right, let's go. Yeah, let's get it, man.
And Tennessee, my alma mater, man. So I'm rooting for you.
Yeah, and I pay my players just so you know. I do.
Yeah, yeah. I slip them something.
so it's good. It's all good.
Nah, man, but I appreciate y'all having me on, man, for sure. If you feel like you want to – because I never claim to be like a social – I just know what I know, and I research what I research, and this shit affects my life.
So I've just kind of of taken upon myself to read upon it um thoroughly and so one of the greatest thinkers of our time currently if you want to get more of of of that of our side of the of the of the aisle and that perspective one of the most brilliant men walking and and and has been doing this shit for years his name is cornell west you. You've probably heard of him before.
But dig into his books,

dig into his catalog, listen to his speaks when he speaks. He's on

these shows all the time. He's really

brilliant and he's really

diplomatic as well. He's very

he's not like divisive. He's not

like fuck them and we're going to burn this

money. He's just like our brothers and sisters are hurting.

He delivers it

in a way that should

soothe you. Nice.
I'll check it out. A little homework for everyone.
Cornel West. All right, Arian, thanks so much, man.
We really do appreciate it. Pleasure's all mine, man.
Is there anything you want to plug? You got a new album? It's coming out in the next month or so. It's getting mixed.
So just check my socials for that if you want. But if not, just follow me on Twitch, man.
I'll be streaming politics. I'll be streaming video games.
I'll be playing Valorant. I don't know if y'all played that game yet.
No, but we got to do a Twitch collab now that we're all on Twitch. We'll definitely play some video games.
Let's do it. Let's do it.
I'm here, bro. All right.
Thanks, man. Y'all be easy, man.
Much love. See ya.
Thank you. Yes, sir.
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Okay. What's up, guys? Oh, you want to talk first? Billy, introduce yourself.
Yeah. yourself Yeah Hi I'm Bill We're going from a very thoughtful Conversation with Arian Foster To Billy Football This is Whiplash Oh my god You guys remember when I got to a Twitter beef with him Yeah about killing a wolf Yeah dude he's such a vegan I don't think he is anymore though Yeah of course he's not He realized he's a fraud he's a fraud.
I love how you use vegan as, like, a total pejorative. Like, he's a fucking vegan, dude.
What a loser. Dude, don't trust the man made up of plant proteins.
I'll tell you that. He's not a vegan anymore.
But, yes, it is Whiplash. Billy Football.
Deep dive with Billy Football. We don't know what we're talking about this week, so why don't you go ahead? Okay, so PFC, don't answer this.
How many great apes do you guys know? Great apes. So you just want Big Cat to answer.
Or Hank, whoever. It's a little too soon, Billy.
What is a great? I don't even know what a great ape is. Papa bless.
Are you talking about like gorilla? Yeah, yeah, like apes.

Like name all the apes you know.

Gorilla, orangutan.

Mighty Joe Young.

No, like species.

Monkey.

Proboscis.

Spider monkey.

Chimpanzee.

All right, all right.

Nate.

Parsley Nate.

The hottest new ape on the biological spectrum is the bonobo. Okay.
So let me tell you about this. No, no, no.
You're doubting me right now, but listen to this. These chimps were so horny that they made a new species for them.
They fucked their way into a new DNA sequence? No, no. Legitimately, they are so freaky that like biologists were like, these aren't regular chimps.
We got to make a whole new thing because they're just like out of control. The Andrew, the Andrew Wiener of the great apes.
Exactly. So he's not a human.
He's a different species. um anthony wiener and my bad so these uh they're called dwarf or pygmy chimpanzees like their proper term but most people call them bonobos and they're the only they're actually our closest living relatives and they're the only other species that kisses and makes love face to face whoa wow the dothraki don't even do that holy shit they like they know mission just watch game of thrones yeah sorry don't listen so no don't worry don't worry so no i know i told you not to worry oh okay the the so so the so like the chimp the so bonobos, they, they share 98.7% of our DNA, which is more than chimps, more than gorillas.
And these guys have governments made up on sex. What? yeah so so like so like there's uh there's a head honcho female who like and then all the other

dudes are simps and she's the she's the alpha because all the male uh bonobos simp for her

and they have huge orgies. And like, instead of like a group of bonobos, me, another group of bonobos, they don't fight.
They just make love. Whoa.
That's pretty sick. Wait.
So Billy, where, where did the, when did this happen? It's a democratic Republic of Congo. But when, what, like, like how do you you're saying it's a new species yeah so in so the scientists in like um so they were historically called the pygmy chimpanzee so they're like they're like oh they're just like small chimps and then scientists started like spending time with them and they're like, what the hell? Like, these guys are not like chimps at all.
So they're like, they're like, oh, they're just like small chimps. And then scientists started like spending time with them.
And they're like, what the hell? Like these guys are not like chimps at all. So they were discovered in 1928.
And then they're like in the 1915s, 1950s, they're like, yo, these are not regular chimps. These guys are freaks.
They're nymphos. Like, what are these things? Like, what the hell? Like, imagine like, you know, when they're like wandering in the jungle and you're like oh we're gonna find like this giant king kong ape in like these like new species like yes of course yeah it happens all the time several times last weekend actually dr livingston that's what he does when he goes on vacations yeah like we're about to find the missing link they're gonna be super cool cool humans that have this whole civilization.
But no, they found a bunch of super horny chimps that have their own governments. And they also know how to use drugs.
What? They self-medicate. They have their own shamans.
There's one bonobo in the group that knows all about the different herbs around their environment. What do they get high on? They get high on different roots and shit.
Wait, so they have a drug dealer? They have one drug dealer? They have a drug guy. They have a drug guy, dude.
These guys are so more highly evolved than us that they didn't have to fill. No, we have PFT.
PFT we have a drug guy yeah PFTs are like drug

bonobo

legitimately and they also

know how to make fire dude

we also know how to make fire though

so

they have sex for three reasons

pleasure bonding

and peacekeeping

and like they so like

they also do like all sorts

of sex like

homosexual groups Thank you. and peacekeeping.
And like, they, so like, they also do like

all sorts of sex,

like,

like,

homosexual,

group sex,

they do,

so like,

they actually,

the males are documented

sword fighting

while hanging from the branches.

What?

Like with their penises?

Yeah,

with their dicks, right?

Yeah,

like docking type shit.

You guys know that?

Dude,

it's insane.

Holy shit.

I'm looking at a

I'm sorry. Like with their penises? Yeah, with their dicks, right? Yeah, like docking type shit.
You guys know that?

Dude, it's insane.

I'm looking at a picture right now of Bonobos mating.

They look very passionate.

How does the pants store come in?

Listen to this.

Listen to this.

Yeah.

Wait, this is them fucking?

This is their orgy!

She's faking it.

That was fake.

This is hot.

Now we're just watching fucking monkey sex.

Is this illegal?

Is this a crime?

Billy, how do they go about choosing their queen?

So, bad radio? Bad radio? No, monkey porn. It was good.
No, dude, that was legit. Five bonobos doing it.
Five? Was it four guys and one girl? Or was it a mix? There's one queen that they all stan, and then there's a bunch of of simps and that's how it works. Right, right.
So how do they choose the queen though? They choose the queen by like the females like bang to get to the top and then whoever like uses sexual spot to get to the top. Like Khaleesi.
Khaleesi is a perfect example. She had three dragons.
That is not a perfect example. Well, they had three drug guys.
So it's like whatever queen has the highest body count, Billy? I – let me – yeah, let me look something. Female adults dominate bonobos societies, and some researchers say the constant humping is a way to reinforce social ties.
But they also resort to sex in times of stress or crisis.

When a group of Bonobos encounter a new food source, another band of Bonobos, or a problem that requires cooperation, they don't freak out.

They get freaky.

They just have sex.

It sounds like they just live in Coachella.

They just hang out, get high as shit, and bang.

I wonder if they make music because legitimately,

this is an EDM festival, but their entire existence.

I want to be a bonobo.

Yeah.

I mean, honestly, they share 98.7% of our DNA,

so 98.7% of us is just bonobos,

and I think we should unite as a people under that guise.

We're all bonobos on the inside. Yeah, i mean you described las vegas basically they live in i i solved everyone's problems this is i mean this is incredible i'm looking at them right now they're just they're just living the best life of all time dude they're legitimately like like pan paniscus is their latin Anyway.
So they give head too, huh? Yeah, they do all sorts of shit. They thought of everything.
They're like smart enough. Basically, they got higher intelligence than your average chimpanzee.
And all they did was use it to figure out different ways to bone, get high, and chill. Let me see if they make music.
How did the pants store come and play, though? I have no idea. I don't give free ads.
Yeah, yeah. No, we don't do that.
We don't do that, but DM me on 30 hot takes on Twitter. It's literally just two bonobos just fucking raw dogs.
It's missionary. But not really.

They're kind of standing.

Oh, yeah.

She's got her hands.

He's kind of doing like when they're in the kitchen, the pipe's broken.

They're like, oh, let me help with that pipe.

And then they start fucking on the countertop.

That's kind of what this bonobos is doing right now.

These two of these alpha bonobo girls should have a podcast and just talk about different ways because they could teach us all they could actually and not only that three thousand they'd never break up right because it's a matriarch not a patriarch so there would never be a suit man that comes along and tries to tell them what to do there's always always one queen. Fuck you simp suit man.
Get out of here. What happens to all the female bonobos that don't attain the ranking of queen sex? They go and they poach other males.
They basically run around the jungle and be like oh is your queen not giving you enough attention? We're going to form a new harem reverse harem together and form a new band so that's what they do that's amazing so are there bonobos in zoos in the united states can we go see the bonobos yes honestly okay i actually so the bonobo exhibit i now i had a flashback to my childhood we were in the bronx zoo on the last week i think it was the the Bronx Zoo or it was another zoo. Anyway, we weren't allowed to go to the exhibit.
It was too hot for TV? Too hot for little kids. Too many questions would be raised.
What are they doing? I hope they live in a room with shag carpeting and there's funk guitar going on all the time. Dimmed lights, candles.
Also, there's chim chimpanzees don't go into their habitat. Think about that.
The chimps are literally walking through the jungle and be like, oh shit, this is bonobo land. It's a red light.
Even though they're so much bigger and stronger than the bonobos because the bonobos are pygmies, the chimps are like, we don't fuck around with these people. Let's get away from them.
Do they use sex toys? Do they masturbate? I guarantee probably. They know how to use tools.
If they can make tools. Banana would fit perfect.
If they can make tools to make fire and do drugs, they definitely do that. Yeah, true.
That's how they're geared. Billy, I'm going to say this, man.
This has been fascinating because I had no idea that the bonobo monkey, when we started this, you asked me to rank my great apes, and I couldn't even name more than three. Exactly.
And now bonobos are clearly number one. Absolutely.
Bonobos are the goats of apes. Billy, I have something for you that I want you to do.
Are you free to come in on Wednesdaynesday i i'm free all week okay all right so you're gonna come in on wednesday i just thought of this idea pft because billy is our resident deep diver and history buff wednesday we are hosting kentucky sports radio uh we do it every year it's it's one of our favorite year days of the year i don't i I don't want want you to talk that much But I want you to be in studio Because I want you From now until Wednesday I want you to read as much as you can read About the state of Kentucky And we're going to have our Kentucky callers Try to stump Billy about Kentucky Okay You're not going to read are you? No, I'm saying everything. I want you to know Kentucky front and back.
I want you to look at maps. I want you to know all the main rivers.
I want you to know, like, the history of Kentucky sports. I will allow you, Billy, you can bring in one flashcard full of information that you can write down.
Five by eight, both sides? Five by eight, both sides. Okay.
You can write down as much information as you want that has to fit on there. Otherwise, you have to use your brain and that flashcard.
And you know what? We'll give – you know what? I'll even throw in an extra thing. We'll be giving something away, maybe a T-shirt or something, to the person who stumps you best or something.
I don't know. We'll figure it out.
It's Billy versus the state of Kentucky. Yes.
Taking on all calls. So when we take a call, they're just going to ask you a question.
It's not going to be long, but it's going to be a question. Your answer, then we're going to take the call.
Okay. All right.
I'm going to bring a bucket of Kentucky fried chicken, too, just to get in their head. Actually, Billy, now my brain is really churning you have to come up with a list of questions about kentucky as well so they'll ask you a question you could ask them a question bluegrass yeah right that's the thing so you quiz so you quiz them and they quiz you and you see who gets more of the other person's if i get one wrong, then I hit them them with a question.
If they can't answer it then I'm six to tie. I think both sides get three.
We don't want him to talk too much. Both sides get one.
It's on aggregate. Both sides get one.
Billy is taking on the entire state. It's a win lose or draw.
If he gets a question he gets it right and they get their question right It's just a push and we go to the next person What do you know about Kentucky right now, Billy? I know Chicken I know the Kentucky Derby I know that they use steroids on racehorses I know that there's Bluegrass And I know that it's quite I know that there was A Bigfoot scene in Kentucky Okay, we're going to forget. Let's bluegrass.
Yep. And I know that it's quite – I know that there was a Bigfoot scene in Kentucky.
Okay. We're going to forget.
Let's forget that part. Okay.
Also, if I beat Kentucky, I want to go to Kentucky and I want them to serve me chicken. We're going to give you the key to the state of Kentucky.
You're going to become the mayor of the entire state if you beat them. Oh, I want to be a colonel.
I want a colonel. Oh, you want to be a Kentucky colonel? Yeah.
We'll make you a colonel. We will make you a Kentucky colonel.
Yes. By the powers bestowed to me by guest hosting a sports radio show.
Yes. Oh my God, I'm so hyped.
Yo, PFC, remember that? The stuff you were saying about the New York rats cannibalizing each other? Yeah, I do. Have you ever heard the legend of Rat Island? No.
So Rat Island is an island right next to Rikers Island. I think it's long on sound.
I'm not sure of the exact body of water. Anyway, so you know how they got rid of all the rats on Rat Island? They brought in a bunch of snakes.
No, no, no, no. It's actually cooler.
It's cannibalism. They made a big pit, right? With flat sides.
And they put a bunch of food in it, right? So then all the rats jumped into the pit being like, oh man, all this food. So like a hundred rats jump in, right? And then they eat all the food, have a huge party.
And then at the end, they're like, there's no food and they can't climb out. So they start eating each other.
Holy shit. So think about this.
They all eat each other. Absolute rat anarchy.
Then there's one rat left that is eating all the other rats or beating all the rats that ate the other rats. Hunger Games.
Then they take that one giant cannibal rat. That's like the strongest rat.
That's like king of the rats. They take that rat and they release it, release it onto the rest of the island.
What. And that rat killed all the other rats on the island.

What? Yeah.

Because it was such a psycho that it killed

all the rats in the pit. Dude.

Yeah. No.
It was like

it killed all the other rats on the island because it killed

all the other rats in the pit. I don't know if this is a true

story. Where's the rat

now? Where's... I love how Billy

just tossed it. It might not be

true. He died a lonely rat on Rat Island after eating all his friends.
God damn. Yeah, so cannibal rats.
Actually, this is a good thing. I don't know if this is true, Billy, because I'm looking at the rat.
No, you know what? No, no, no, don't. Let's just end there.
That was a great story. You want to hear this.
The way you told it. It's the Rat Island Wikipedia page, and under name it says, it is not known how the island received its name so my guess is there might not have been probably before you know what probably happened when when they bought manhattan for 21.11 or 27.11 from the indians they're like yo what's this island they're like yo we like think about what we did we like made this pit and killed all the rats and it was awesome or wait rats came over with the year wait oh he's thinking too hard no all right that's our show we'll see everyone

on wednesday uh we'll have a new part of my take on wednesday and we'll have billy on kentucky

sports radio tune in uh 10 to 12 eastern in the morning and we'll be uh there on wednesday love

you guys. Talking away I don't know what to say I'll take it away Today's our day to find you.
Shine away. I'll be coming for your love of cake.
Shine away. I'll be coming for your love of cake.
Take on me. Take on me.
Take me off

Take me off

Take me off

Take me off

Needless to say

The odds are in

Spooky

Some little way

Slow and learn

That life is okay

Say out to me

It's no better to be safe than sorry

See you next time. Some little way Start and learn And the life is okay Say after me It's better to be safe than sorry Say after me It's better to be safe than sorry Day on me Day on me Day on me Day on me Day on me I love you.
I'm here I'm here I'm here

I'm here

I'm here

I'm here

I'm here

I'm here

I'm here

Is it a life

I'm here

Just a flame

I love me

Explain

You are the things

I've got to remember

I'm here

I'm here

I'm here

I'm here

I'm here

I'm here

I'm here

I'm here

I'm here

I'm here

I'm here

I'm here

I'm here Thank you. Take it on me.
Take it on me. Take it on me.