Denny Hamlin, Entourage Creator Doug Ellin, Bucs C Ryan Jensen And Dude Perfect

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On today's Pardon My Take, we have a packed, packed Fri-A show for you.

We have Denny Hamlin fresh off his win.

We have Doug Ellen, creator, writer of Entourage. Entourage.
Six-time Emmy loser, one-time Emmy winner. Yeah.
And then we have Bucks Center, Ryan Jensen, who joins us to talk about how exactly Tom Brady likes his ass. How he likes his ass sweating.
We also have a Dude Perfect documentary review, which I think is going to get contentious, judging by the tweets that were out there. I've got some takes.
I don't know if you guys are prepared for this. Buried from, I loved it, PFT seemed like he liked it, and Hank hates my guts.
If you read the context of my tweet that was screen grabbed, I was saying it wasn't as bad as Florio saying a third world dictator putting out a documentary about it. Save that take.
Save that take. Yes.
It was worse. And we have Fyre Fest of the Week.
We're going to get right back to the show. The last thing you want to hear when you need your auto insurance most is a robot with countless irrelevant menu options, which is why with USAA Auto Insurance, you'll get great service that is easy and reliable

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All right, back to part of my take. Okay, let's go.
Now in the street there is violence

And then a lot of work to be done No place to hang out or wash in And then I can't lay all on the sun Oh no We're gonna rock down to Electric Avenue And then we'll take it higher Oh, we're gonna rock down to electric avenue and then we'll take it higher oh we gotta rock down to electric avenue it's part of my take presented by a ball stool sports welcome to part of my take presented by the cash app go right now twitch.tv slash cash app and if you go on their stream they're giving away free money if you put in your in your cash tag, free money, every time they go live, just put in your cash tag. Today is Fri-A, May 22nd, and Dak Prescott has just turned down a 10-year, $1 billion deal to make him the highest-paid quarterback until, of course, Taysom Hill signs his deal for $2 billion to make himself the highest-paid quarterback.
Yeah, that's how it's going to go. It's just the most recent quarterback to get paid is going to be the richest quarterback to get paid.
But maybe not because it turns out that we had all kinds of reports. I think this is just Dak Prescott numbers season because we had the report from Chris Sims that he turned down five years, $175 million that would have made him the highest paid quarterback.
It turns out that's not true according to other sources that that was not discussed. And we are still sitting in Dak Prescott purgatory.
I can't make, I've heard that Dak Prescott will take $40 million, nothing less than that, nothing less than 35. Like it feels like maybe he's going to take a four-year deal because he wants to wait until the renegotiation of TV rights.
I don't know what the fuck is going on. All I know is that the fact that it's taken this long speaks to exactly how the Cowboys feel about Dak Prescott.
They like him, they want him, but he's not. He's not Patrick Mahomes.
He's not Russell Wilson. They would have signed him.
It's also perfect for Jerry Jones to have the one NFL storyline that's going, that's carrying us through this offseason to be about a Cowboys quarterback. Because Jerry is absolutely loving every single second of this.
And you're right. When he gets paid, next up, Pat Mahomes.
How much are you going to pay Pat Mahomes? Pat Mahomes is a whatever he wants you just give him that's the that's the point is dak prescott falls into that category and it happens every single year in the nfl you throw it in like the matthew stafford the uh kirk cousins russell wilson russell well russell wilson's you just give him money i'm talking about the guys that everything's got to be right around them. So you say to yourself, we have to sign him because he looks like a franchise quarterback, but we're going to hesitate a little bit.
Like, should we really sign him for this much? And eventually someone's going to say, no, actually, this guy isn't all the way. Like, let's throw everything at him.
Yeah, I don't think that's going to be Jerry Jones because I think Jerry Jones, just like saying,

I got me a quarterback. And when he can say that,

then he feels good about the job that he's done.

But I saw a report that says Dak

wants a shorter deal. Cowboys want

a longer one. I think, I honestly

think, yeah, I honestly think that

this is all being leaked from Jerry Jones'

side. I haven't really seen anything

that's been leaked that

makes Dak look favorable in this situation. Yeah, no, it hey he's turning down how much and again it it i think dak prescott is a very good quarterback but he is that guy who if he were a patrick mahomes if he were a russell wilson if he were you know aaron rogers tom like these guys you okay, it's a no-doubter.
It would already have happened. Right.
I agree with that 100%. He's like a Jimmy Garoppolo type situation where you see a guy like that get paid, and you're like, do I want to pay somebody that's not like a top three quarterback in the league back-breaking money when you've got so much money committed to other guys? Right.
So just do like what they do at used car dealerships, where it's like last person with their hand on the star between Dak and Jerry gets the contract that they want. That's their arbitration.
I have a question for you, PFT. Let's say 100% of Dak Prescott, how much of that is Andy Dalton? Because that's the interesting part here.
You mean how far? Is Andy Dalton 80% of Dak Prescott? If you were to put Andy Dalton inside Dak like a Russian nesting doll, how much would he fill up? Correct. He is at his peak.
At Andy Dalton's peak powers right now, I would say he's probably 75, 70%. He might be.
Good enough. 80 might be where I would put it just because Andy Dalton is the type of guy that with talent around him in the right situation, which the Cowboys have a ton of offensive talent.
Why not? They'd have a good running game. You have CeeDee Lamb and Amari Cooper.
Like Andy Dalton is a fine player for that situation. The problem is now the Cowboys, if they wanted to go that route, they should have used the money they would have saved on not signing Dak in free agency and use it for other things.
Yes. Right.
Agree. Just stocked up on Dalton.
But it does add a little interesting dynamic where he isn't bad. He's never been beaten up on spring break he's not good yeah he's not bad jack should have asked for ip yeah give me ip to the caller dackey yeah let me have the cowboy star yeah if you give me the star i'll i'll sign this contract today right now uh schrodinger's dac that is done with the pulse that is yeah that was a heat check that was a heat check i'm sorry yeah the color dackey was great schrodinger's deck not so much yeah um the it is really the only story there's there's basically three stories going on right now in the nfl it's that it is tom brady's at uh how he likes his center's ass sweat which we'll get to with ryan jensen and then every three days someone declaring that Taysom Hill is the greatest quarterback in the world.
That's all we got. That's all we got right now.
Well, it's like putting Taysom Hill on the same level as another superstar quarterback. And then having everyone flip out.
Well, there was one tweet that said Taysom Hill could be a bigger version. Or no, it came from Jay Glazer, I think, saying that Sean Payton views Taysom Hill as a bigger version of Lamar Jackson.
Right. In the fact that he does a lot of things and is physically bigger.
And then since we're fucking starved for any sort of thing to argue about, and we see that, and we're like, okay, this is the thing that we're going to get mad about online today. I would go out on a limb and say that I think Lamar Jackson might be better at playing most of the same positions that Taysom Hill plays.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say that i think lamar jackson might be better at playing most of the same positions that tasem hill plays i'm gonna go out on a limb and say i haven't we've seen tasem hill come into a game and be part of not a gimmick offense but it's a different offense and i still don't understand i know everyone will say well teddy bridgewater is more like drew breeze and tasem hills like drew breeze andameis Winston is getting paid nothing. But if Taysom Hill was truly, truly a franchise quarterback, he would just be the backup.
Yes. Yes, he would.
He would have started. Or he would have started.
He would have at least started some games last year. Although there's something about Sean Payton, and I kind of like it.
He's a little bit crazy. He's nuts.
He likes to get his players paid. But he's paying.
Yeah, but no, he got Teddy Bridgewater paid. Right, but he's paying Taysom Hill right now.
He loves to have the reputation of being a coach where he can bring somebody in, and then you'll get paid in the future if you just do what he wants for like a year or two. Sean loves that.
He did the same thing with John Kuhn, where he brought John Kuhn in and would like sign him and cut him every other week. And then he had some sweet relationship set up, where he was like, in the future, if you just come and play with me for another year, you can do anything you want for the Saints.
If it's being a coach, if it's doing the same type of thing where I cut you again and sign you again every week next year. I know for a fact that Sean Payton loves just the reputation of players wanting to go to New Orleans to get paid in the future yeah I mean he they are paying him now the 21 million dollars over two years 16 million dollars guaranteed that's I I don't doubt that Sean Payton loves Taysom Hill I just I gotta see it like consistently for a season before I say he's a franchise quarterback right well I've never seen I've never seen Lamar Jackson a personal punt protector.
I've never seen him return a kick. So there are certain things that Taysom can do.
Troy Aikman's never said Lamar Jackson's the best player on the field for a playoff game. That's true.
Lamar Jackson is a leather man. That they ended up losing.
Taysom Hill is a Swiss Army knife. He's got a few more tricks, but not quite as sharp.
It is interesting, too, because I could i could be convinced like taysom hill in that playoff game against the vikings he was electric and i mean drew breeze is gonna play forever but i think they'll just let drew breeze play forever the thing about taysom hill is there's a there's a low expectations bar for him when he gets in and so when he throws a good downfield pass and i think he threw a total of like five passes past five or ten yards last year when he throws one deep and it actually connects it's like it's a holy shit moment right everyone gets excited by it right it's like a pass that you would expect a great quarterback just run the wildcat with tasem hill do it um all right so that's that's pretty much the news the only other news news I saw was Jim Harbaugh is trying to save football,

which we all expected, but he said he absolutely has no problem playing with no fans

because he's like, what's the alternative?

No football?

Yeah, he probably actually liked playing football with no fans even more.

Yeah, so he's strongly in the camp of let's just play, doesn't matter how,

and I have to agree with that.

Let's just play, doesn't matter how.

So Jim Harbaugh at the forefront, thank you for your service, Coach. Just roll the ball out there.
It doesn't matter if there are fans in the stands. It doesn't matter if the games are televised.
If there's a football game going on, Jim Harbaugh will be there to coach it. Absolutely.
And probably put himself in at quarterback if he needs to. Absolutely.
All right, so before we get to our interviews, we've got three really great ones coming up. Fire Fest of the Week.
Fire Fest of the Week. Henry? I just realized I would love to see Jim Harbaugh try to figure out Zoom calls for recruiting.
He definitely is. He's got a guy next to him.
He sits down. He just sits down and it's on.
He just opens up. He's like, Excel is not letting me see the other guy's face.
Right. Can I open up Zoom inside of Excel? He does a whole Zoom where it's just facing like his chest.
Yeah. Hank, FireFest.
Did you see this is my FireFest, but did you guys see Chris Pratt had a FireFest of his own? No. He deleted like 50,000 emails by accident.
Why is that bad? I don't know. Wouldn't that give you anxiety? Is he doing server management for Hillary Clinton? Damn.
You don't think... How do you do that? Big guy, your email, I'm sure it has how many thousand emails? A lot.
So if accidentally you deleted them all, wouldn't you be like, oh fuck, there's so much shit in there I need it? Yeah, maybe. I'd probably be psyched if I did.
Let me just take a look at my email accounts. I've got 11,672 in this one.
You've got 13,000. Yeah, I guess it would cause a little anxiety, but it also would probably be liberating.
And then my other one I've got. But it's a fire fest.
Why can't you just get it back? I don't know. The cloud? I don't think that's how it works.
I think that's exactly how it works. I don't think that's how it works.
You just call up the cloud and give them back. And they're sure thing mr pratt so if you're a celebrity you can get anything back what's your fire fest that chris pratt lost all his emails no my fire friends i just it's you know i i feel like all my fire fests are always video game related but this is the one i couldn't say last week uh i got invited to be in a call of duty tournament like through the official call of duty like leagueic Gaming, and it was presented to me that it's going to be three pro players, one influencer per team.
And as I was getting set up... You were the influencer? Yes.
Wow! So as I'm getting set up, like, the technical guy's going through, like, setting up my computer or whatever, and I'm like, who are the other, like, influencer people so I can size myself up against them? Like, how, you know what I mean? Like, how good do I have to be compared to them?

And he was like, actually, you're the only one.

Like, all the other teams decided to just go with four pros.

Oh.

So, yeah, it was a tough, like, my team hated me.

How much better are the pros?

A million times better.

It's one of those things where I didn't understand it.

I will be honest.

Like, I didn't understand the Twitch.

I didn't understand video games, but I would see video editors here, like, watching Twitch editors here like watching twitch streams in back of my head why are you watching someone play video games but it truly is like there's you play you can play basketball and then there's you watch a pro play basketball they can do a million different things it's the same game but they're just playing 10 times faster 10 times better 10 times or probably 100 times more accurate it's just a completely different level and it makes sense now to me that people watch it because it's like you're watching greatness like these guys it's the same game that you and i play they just play so much better so much faster so much more entertaining so is there a way for you as like the obvious weak link in this team to like hide out yes are there places that you can just chill yeah that i was basically just hiding the entire time just trying trying like i knew eventually it was gonna i was gonna look like an idiot and get killed but i was just trying to like prolong that as long as possible and it probably sucks too knowing that like the one p.e.d you can do for video games is adderall and you actually need that desperately for your adhd and when i take it i don't even take it when i game anymore because it gives me severe anxiety like i get too like i i'm prescribed I'm prescribed it. When I take it, I'm like, I'm going to take it to focus.
But that's where the gay size come in, and that's where, like, my heart beats too fast. Like, my heart rate goes too fast on it, so I have to, like, not take it.
It'd be like someone having low T and having to take steroids to just get their T to a normal level and then going up against, like, muscle men. Yeah, against Jose Canseco.
Right. So, yeah, that was my fire fest my fire fest hey did you kill anybody tune in i'm not allowed to say the results it's airing the results so it was cool it they basically filmed it it's going to be like put together and it's going to air there's official call of duty league which i'm sure you guys uh are up to speed on of course and this is going to be like the preview like game they're gonna they're gonna show the whole game did you sign an nda i did and this is the other thing this is the other thing that i think your nda by telling you no i didn't sign nda i said i said i wouldn't reveal the results oh that's the nda um i signed a release form for boner dogs because there's a boner dogs poster in my bed in the background of my like twitch stream which i think makes boner dogs an official movie they're like wait did you sign away boner dogs? No, no, no.
You gave Boner Dogs to Call of Duty. They were like, we're not going to be able to use your video because there's that movie poster in the background.
I'm like, no, that's our movie poster. That's mine.
And the movie doesn't exist. And then they were like, okay, give us...
No, they're like, can you just consent to use it? Like saying they thought it was a real movie and a real movie company would sue them for having it in the background.

I'm like, no, actually.

You shouldn't have signed.

We should have sued them and that would have been the fucking budget for the movie, dummy.

No, but I think it's one of those things where I think we're now a real camera. In the eyes of Twitch or Call of Duty, Boner Dogs is a legit movie.

It's canon, yeah.

So this actually might be a good way because there are a lot of video games that have been successes that have started, or movies that have started out as video games. And the kids get into it and they're like, oh, let's turn this into a movie.
What? Mortal Kombat. Mortal Kombat.
Boom. Pixels.
Yeah, it was a movie. It was a movie.
It was a smash hit. I never saw that movie.
It was a smash hit. They were on an island.
It was Dana White's inspiration for the UFC. Yeah.
There was Sonic the Hedgehog. Great movie.
Yeah, gonna be a great movie. I think it's already out.
Oh, it was a great movie. Great movie.
James Bond. Gold Nines.
Gold Nines. Started out as a video game.
Yep. And then they made a movie out of it.
They made a lot of movies out of it. We should do a flush more of games that they should make into movies.
That'd be a good one. Crash Bandicoot, the movie.
The worst games that they could make into movies? Or best games. I think there's a lot of other ones.
Call of Duty. I'm surprised there's never been a Call of Duty movie, to be perfectly honest.
There have been a million war movies. Like, literally a million war movies.
I know, but there's not like a Call of Duty branded. I don't know.
What do you mean? Like Zero Dark 30? That was a movie about Call of Duty. The Longest Day.
Call of Duty. Saving Private Ryan.
Call of Duty. Fuck off.
The Hurt Locker. Call of Duty.
Apocalypse Now. Call of Duty.
Hanks just invented the genre of war movie. That's awesome.
I'm not explaining what I mean.

Braveheart, Call of Duty.

Johnny Tremaine, Call of Duty.

I think people would watch a war movie.

That is not what I meant.

You guys are twisting my words.

Okay, what Hank's saying is make a war movie,

but make it more like a video game where it's all one shot

that lasts for a long time. Oh, maybe World War I? World War I.
Yeah. We should do that.
We could probably win an Oscar. Call of Duty, the year 1917.
Good. I like it, Hank.
Smart thinking. All right, BFT, what's your fire effect? I mean, there is something to be said for someone who invents something that's a success but didn't know that he was already inventing that.
Oh, yeah, you get credit. You get credit.
You get partial credit for inventing something. That's not what I meant.
When you see what I meant, you're all going to wish you were on board. Okay.
My firefest is that news websites have started to exploit the ratio, and they're starting to do, like, alley-oop jokes on Twitter. I don't know if you noticed that recently but when companies are tweeting out like an article that they just wrote they're phrasing their tweets in such a way that they know they're going to get replied to and a shitload of quote tweets.
They're gaming the system. So the other day there was a Matt Lauer op-ed that came out and and the title was something like, Matt Lauer opinion, not enough fact-checking is being done on sexual assault victims.
Or sexual assault accusations. Okay.
And it's just expecting people to quote tweet it with something like slug reports that there's too much salt being sold in America or something. You know what I'm saying? Sun will rise.
Exactly. It's like alley-oop jokes.

There was one yesterday that said scientists discover that time is moving backwards in

alternate universe.

It's just easy setups for jokes.

And my Fyre Fest is not taking bait on an extremely easy setup for a joke because that's

like my wheelhouse.

Why don't you?

Because it's too easy because the joke is already in everyone's head.

Who cares?

Just fucking do it.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I'm going to say that. like my wheelhouse is just like you because it's too easy because the the joke is already in everyone's head who cares just fucking do it i don't know i don't know i'm fighting about it i'm thinking about it too much yeah you are like i they are so far into my head it's maybe yeah maybe sit this yeah i'm sitting them out so like i'm gonna let the masses have the easy alley-oops and i'll i'll challenge myself sit Okay.
Yeah, Twitter has become. Twitter sucks now.
It really does. Well, it's just everything is.
I think we talked about it last week. It was like the pick three guys or what is it? First thing that comes to your thought to your brain when you see this picture.
It's just bad. It's bad.
The new meme. Verbal meme.
Do one. Let's hear something.
Oh, me. My plans for this year, and it's me looking like it's Buffcat, and then it's 2020.
And it's like standing outside the MAAC Championship cat. That's it.
Here's one. Wow, nailed it.
My internet streaming when I'm watching porn,

and it's DK Metcalf running the 40-yard dash.

My internet streaming when I'm trying to go on Twitch.

Wait, that's not the meme.

No, listen.

Okay, sorry, sorry.

I'm so sorry.

This is a different meme, Hank. Okay, my bad.

You asked me to do a verbal meme, I'm executing on that.

My internet speed when I'm watching porn.

On the left, DK Metcalf running a 40-yard dash.

My internet stream when I'm on Twitch trying to play Mario Kart, and it's dk metcalf doing a three-cone drill boom got it memed uh the the two hands clasping each other uh introverts and pen a global pandemic and then it says staying inside boom that's actually that would That was like seven weeks old, I think. Oh, I'm sorry.
Oh, I'm sorry. No problem.
No worries. I thought that was a good one.
I felt good, but I guess not. My reading comprehension.
DK Metcalf doing a 40-yard dash. Hank's reading comprehension.
Darren Revell running those 20 those 20 yards that see i have good reading comprehension it's just sometimes when it goes from my brain out to my mouth things get lost in translation hanks the boyfriend holding on to the girlfriend's hand looking back and it's uh he's holding on to the hand of uh the girlfriend says saving private ryan and he's looking back and it says says, We should make Call of Duty a movie. This is not...
That is not what I meant. That is not what I meant at all.
This is going to be like, Oh, whatever. Whatever.
Whatever. All right.
My Fire Fest is similar. Well, not the same as Hank's, but similar in that it's video game related.
I just have tremendous anxiety now because I just have anxiety. It's like real sports are back in my own brain where I get anxiety before every game.
Do you feel bad for making fun of coaches and all this stuff now, knowing some of the stress? Oh, I mean, I do love that people are like, you can never criticize Andy Reid again. It's like, yeah, I can.
Yeah, I can. Because that's what fans do.
Actually, if you play enough, you will get better at clock management. You just need the reps.

The thing about Andy Reid is he's been doing this for 35 years.

Right.

You've been doing it for like a month.

I'm also the reverse Andy Reid.

Andy Reid burns his timeouts like they're going out of style.

My problem is I like to save my timeouts until there's like –

my perfect situation is three timeouts with 18 seconds left. There you go.
like you can run i can i have no problems here yeah absolutely yeah just save save save but yeah it's um and i also am now in sec waters and i think that like if you have you haven't told the people oh yeah i'm on this show yeah i'm on as a monday i thought you were saying at texas tech i was close to. I took the job at Tennessee, and I'm in SEC waters now.

So I think my first big SEC loss, people will call from my head.

What is the schedule?

We need to check out the Tennessee message boards because those things are lit

even when things are going well, which is like the first two weeks of the season.

Yeah.

Sunday night is going to be Sunday night.

Oh, let's talk about the schedule for next week, too. So Sunday night, going to play florida but next week we have a game on friday day game on friday or so if you're listening to this right now it's three o'clock today uh so next week we're going to do a show on tuesday and a show on friday so no monday because so memorial day two episodes next week we have a t Tuesday show.
We have a Friday show. Yeah, there's not a lot to talk about, but we have some awesome interviews coming up.
We do. And it's a holiday weekend.
People forget that. We've contacted Tim Woods.
Hopefully Tuesday's show we will be back in the Dungeons & Dragons realm for that, which will be awesome. Very excited.
Have you discovered or figured out what you're going to do to have a uniquely heartbreaking loss to Florida? No, I think I'm pretty up for the challenge of just fucking myself over at random times. Yeah, I mean, that's a big game for a Tennessee alum.
It's like they need to find a way to lose it that they haven't seen before. Right.
My favorite part of Twitch is the woke Twitch that's like, I'll throw an interception to be like, he did that on purpose. I wish I did that on purpose, dude.
My brain just stops moving at given times, and that happens. Have you considered using a fullback in your offense? I have used fullback dive at goal line.
Okay, I like it. I get asked by Lorenzo.
He was like, I saw what Big Cat's doing on the Coach Doug stream. He was like, how come he's not using a fullback? and I line okay i like it i like i get asked by lorenzo he was like i saw what big cat's doing on the coach doug stream he was like how come he's not using a fullback and i was like i think that the fullback brand doesn't want to be associated with coach doug's four verts offense well it's yeah it's air raid yeah i have two running back i have rico bergerton uh who's electric and jojo smalls who's also electric is he big jojo smalls is small rico ber.
Gotcha. Yeah, Thunder and Lightning.
Yes, exactly. Eat and run.
Yes. But I do use a fullback from time to time.
I'm eventually going to use, like, do a full triple option offense. Okay.
Because I think that would be awesome. But that's going to be Fumble City.
What are you going to fumble? I think you're going to be able to do that. You're going to fumble every drive.
Oh, no, at Tol. No one saw you play in Toledo.
At Toledo, I would do it in one out of ten times. I would do a pitch, and they would just pick it off.
Yeah, yeah. Or you're going to fumble it.
You're running a rugby offense. Right, right.
Whatever. We'll see.
We've got enough time. We've got enough time.
All sports are coming back in July. I guarantee it.
Well, they are, yeah. Yeah? 100%.
Yes, they're coming back. They're coming back in July.
Clip that. No, they are coming back.
At some point in July. July's over.
In matter of fact. Isn't July one of the longest months? It has 31 days.
There it is. It's tied for the longest month.
And the fact that we're in the Northern Hemisphere, there's more daylight. So it is literally the longest month of daylight that we have.
So suck on that, Hank. Fact check.
You're almost, I feel like you're not rooting for sports to come back.

One Pinocchio on that fact check.

You're just hoping sports never come back so you can work on your Call of Duty movie.

All right, let's get to our interviews.

We have Denny Hamlin up first.

We're going to get right back to the show.

Auto insurance can all seem the same until it comes time to use it.

So don't get stuck paying more for less coverage.

Switch to USA Auto Insurance and you could start saving money in no time get a quote today restrictions apply all right back to part of my take okay here he is denny hamlin okay we now welcome on a very good friend recurring guest and the best driver in all NASCAR. Yeah, I said it.
It is Denny Hamlin. He won Wednesday night's race at Darlington, his second victory of the season.
Big race coming up on Sunday at Charlotte. I guess first question is, like, dude, are you in the zone? I'm in the zone right now, for sure.
You know, I count iRaces races we want a couple of those and so two real ones to i racing i mean it's uh it's we got good stats right now i like that how many points do you get in the standings for the i racing zero that's bullshit yeah but no points from us i've been i've been i racing and uh the farthest i've made it is three laps into a race before i crash i saw the video yeah you're pretty intense your eyes you were you're focused i don't want to suck but i just suck so i have a new found uh appreciation for what you guys do yeah i mean i you know the thing is is in i racing it takes the same skill set to be good in i racing as it does life, where other sports, like a football player, doesn't mean he's going to be a good Madden player. It's a total different skill set.
You don't have to use your athletic ability. Where you're driving, you're using the same controls.
Right. So Big Cat could, in theory, be a successful coach in football, even though he can't do it on NCAA.
How's that going, how's it going by the way uh it's going great i'm the head coach of tennessee uh you probably can't see my hat says feels like 98 uh we're one and oh gonna be two and oh when this uh finally comes out tomorrow morning so yeah i'm just crushing it you know like we're i think we actually are both in the zone if we're really going to be honest here. Wow.
Wow. Yeah.

Is this like Tennessee of like the 90s or like 2000? Going to be. Yeah.
It's going to feel like it. Going to be.
It's going to be like that soon. Yeah.
Right after Peyton left. Going to win a title.
Did you get a call from MJ after you won? I didn't get a call. I got a text.
So we text back and forth and whatnot. But, you know, that track is kind of special to him because that's where he went to NASCAR races when he was a kid.
That's where his dad took him. He, you know, he was raised in Wilmington.
That was, I don't know, probably an hour away. And he said that, you know, that's kind of where his passion grew for racing itself was going to NASCAR.
His dad always used to take him to the NASCAR race every year. Have you talked to him at all about the last dance? Or did you maybe even watch some with him? No, I didn't watch any with him.
So oddly enough, I finished it like an hour before I had to go to Darlington to race. So like, you know, you're ready to rock, right? After that, like you're're trying to you're ready to get the best out of yourself so uh i mean it was just incredible i mean i know him you know personally and how he is and how he interacts with me and the people that he's around but like and you always hear about you know how how fiery he was but you know i was too young when i was watching you know the bulls and in the late 90s i was too young to kind of understand more about the game right there's just so much more than just the game that gets played and to see all the behind the scenes and people talking about it i mean it just gives you gives you an unbelievable appreciation for what they did yeah so did you did he did you any like questions about it or did he say like he was happy how it turned out? We didn't really talk about it.
I mean, that's just, you know, to me, you know, when he told me that, you know, the story about his dad taking him to races and whatnot, you know, I didn't, I didn't know the story about how close his dad, him and his dad were. And, and the story of how his dad ended up you know uh passing away so i mean i it was a it was a learning experience as much for me that uh as it was anyone yeah do you think that by proximity like through you that now maybe slowly slogano is on mj's list of people that he hates well he don't obviously it didn't take much to get him motivated, right? I mean, I think he just self-motivated himself to bring out that next level.
But, yeah, I mean, listen, as a person in sports, you find fuel, right? I mean, you see there's no question out on the racetrack i see people that i particularly do or don't like and i i run harder to run them down and pass them because i get more satisfaction yeah i like that how uh how good has your jumper gotten in quarantine because you have a court in your house yeah yeah it's it's gotten pretty good i, it's wet right now for sure. So, I mean, you know, we may or may not, you know, play a little three-on-three now.
We're opening it back up to, you know, under 10 people, making sure we're getting the games nice and solid. But, you know, it's been tough for two months sitting at home and not being able to play.
But I can tell you, got the wrist going. I got the shoot-away machine feeding it back to me.
I don't want to chase some rebounds. You know how it is.
Yes, I would imagine your house is like top ten houses to be shelter in place at because you have a full court iRacing machine. I mean, that's the best.
Yeah, golf simulator. We got the bowling alley.
Okay, you didn't have to do that. You didn't have to mention that.
Nothing pisses me off more than hearing my kids say, I'm bored. I'm like, are you kidding me? Are you kidding? Yeah, I'll switch spots with them.
They can come live in Brooklyn. Yeah, they live in a Chuck E.
Cheese. Yeah.
Well, I mean, that's the thing. Like, they'd rather be at a Chuck E.
Cheese. Yeah, I guess that's true, the pizza.
Yeah, well, I was going to say the animatronic band, too. They're pretty good.
I saw that after the race, your teammate, Kyle Busch, he apologized, and then he doubled down on his apology. He came out and said he was sorry pretty quickly to chase Elliott.
Is that seeing somebody like right after the race when emotions are high put their hand up and say hey I screwed up my bad yeah I mean it was it was you know blatantly a screw up right he just kind of misjudged it he was trying to fit in the hole that kind of wasn't there at the time he's looking at his rearview mirror instead of you know kind of looking right beside him and he just misjudged it it's just i mean it happens we're all fighting for inches and we're running you know almost 200 miles per hour you're going to run into people and so uh it just it it becomes more of a big deal when it's someone that's popular like chase so uh that that's what makes it you know so big is the two people that are involved in it has there been like a warning to chase to not retaliate for it no no i think nascar leads it leads it to us to kind of police that stuff they it's a self-policing sport as they say you know unwritten rules feel like you've been done wrong you know you don't need to talk about it just just hang it how different is it uh for maybe the novice nascar fans uh with like the rules now that you don't have any qualifying you show up and what is it you have one car like can you explain that to people who might not understand how drastically different it is running these races right now yeah i mean so much of your speed is built in the ratio i would say probably 50 of it and then the other 50 you tune on it during practice on a race weekend so that 50 is now gone so you're relying on you know these of course every team has engineers coming up with setups and you know what to put in the car to make it faster so there's more emphasis on those guys now to get it right because you have no practice to tune it. So there's a big emphasis on the drivers to give the crew chiefs and the team the information to make sure when they go to the racetrack, they're ready to race right from the get-go.
So it's definitely different for sure. When I saw Chase giving the bird after the race was over, flipping the guy off as they were driving around, it made me wonder, do you guys flip each other off when you pass each other on the track like we do when we're on the road getting around the crazy driver? Yeah, but it's a big no-no.
You flip me off, it is straight send. I'm sending you into the next corner.
So it's just, I don't know.

It's, you know, you want to come up and talk or whatever after the race

and cuss me out.

No problem, right?

Man to man, face to face.

But, like, just flipping the bird, you know, it's so dumb.

It's so, I mean, I get it.

I may have done it early in my career, but it's just like, sends me off the deep end somebody flips me the bird uh i read that you had the all-in challenge where has that been decided who won the raffle yes okay dan snyder no great he won it good yeah i was actually gonna offer because the all all-in challenge was you did this with Bubba Watson. You get a golf outing at MJ's new golf course and a VIP experience at Daytona 500.
I was going to graciously offer PFT and I to be a celebrity host for this, but now I'm going to say no. You don't want to hang out with dan i would actually so my question is you're the celebrity host yes yes we would do it for you i would charity i would like to celebrity host dan snyder yeah in a boxing match against myself yeah no we'll do it though not anymore but next time you have like a vip thing where it's like you get to go play golf at mj's golf course we'll happily you can throw our name in it and hopefully get more money i love that yeah i want to i want to back up real quick it was a raffle so like dan snyder bought a raffle ticket and his name got no he was the highest bidder okay auction it was an auction how much money uh 190k damn good that's a lot good for him damn i think it's better that he does that than buy a free agent that we don't need ah okay well yeah we're in for it yeah we're in taking bullets out of the gun i don't mind that we actually we're gonna go we we gotta i want to go i want to fucking play hoops in your house man damn come on man i mean can't right now but i want to to yeah i mean i has your game gotten any better or are you just no no i'm i'm the same guy and i also probably worse because i haven't shot a basketball dribbled a basketball not of us not all of us are denny hamlin we don't have a core i mean is it because they don't pass it to you or no i just have not been like i haven't been in a gym in two months so i'm i'm actually very looking i'm looking forward to the first uh pickup game back and seeing how long it takes each team to get to like 15 or 21 because you know that that first game when yeah when no one's after the summer it's just like the worst it's a rock fight i'm i'm waiting for that and by the way everyone's looking for an excuse to check the ball.
Yes. Yes.
Let's check it out. Check it out.
Yes. So that's going to happen.
That's going to be fun. I had one last question.
You've been going at our boss on social media for saying he looks pretty shitty. I mean, this is kind of stolen valor because I've been saying that for a long time.
He doesn't use sunscreen. He's got the Eric Clapton hair.
I mean, have you guys settled the beef? Yeah, yeah. We chatted it up.
We did an Instagram Live before the race yesterday, which, I mean, you know, he said he got tired of backing Clint, you know, because he couldn't win or something like that. And then, you know, he had me on and I ended up winning.
So that worked out well. But, yeah uh yeah yeah we buried the hatchet uh i just gave him a little grief because he was doing a little you know uh hey look how good my hair is look how good and i was like well where why is he covering his face like and and you know you saw a little glimpse it's like man he's he's got a little burn there i think he's been up on his rooftop getting his face roasted, his lip braw chapped.
I told him he looked like Tom Hanks on day 1000 of Castaway. Yep, yep.
It's true. He doesn't use suntan lotion.
I've been trying to tell him. He looks like a catcher's mitt.
An old one, like really beaten in. Yeah.
Yeah. But, yeah, no, we got a good respect for each other we like uh we like giving each giving each other shit every now and then but uh yeah he's a lot of fun and uh having him at the racetracks has been a blast you're seeing him taking that all in and it's fun man you got to come out well i'm not a nascar fan i'm a denny hamlin fan all right i can deal with that yeah i can do it's a it's pretty much

like it's a binary option did denny hamlin win no okay then the there was no event today we got two it's we like denny hamlin and we like whoever is right behind joey logano uh-huh we had joey logano on the show yeah who called him uh chase elliot bush no bush kyle bush and oh wow and we He actually called?

Yeah, he called.

We got him to call him.

And he basically we're like joey like uh can we can you unblock us can we squash the beef and he's like well you got to stop calling me slogano and we're like no deal stick by your guns you got to stand for something i appreciate you guys taking a stand yes obviously something right yeah we got your back how different are my interviews versus uh other guys like you know you know is it a little more hey you know straight up and well we don't we don't interview other people we respected what an asshole bush was committed to be correct so like the fact that he is unapologetically a dickhead, we were like, okay, we can respect that part about you, but we're still Denny guys. But we get offered, we get offered NASCAR drivers and we're like, wait, that's not Denny Hamlin.
No thanks. Well, I think that the, like you said, the worst thing, right.
Is like putting on a persona that you're one thing and then you're really not that you might as well, whatever you were going to be,'re gonna be a nice guy be a nice guy you can't it can't be opposite yeah right but yeah we're still denny guys you're you're our guy we really have no other guys so that's just how it's gonna be that's how it's always gonna be uh charlotte 6 p.m eastern on uh fox on sunday do you want to guarantee a victory?

Ooh.

I mean, I don't know what I'll be in Vegas.

Probably an eight or nine.

Okay.

One type of guy.

But, yeah, I mean, yeah, I'll do it, man.

I got a new paint scheme.

We're thanking small businesses out there.

So, yeah, I'm in.

I'm in on the guarantee. Heck yes.
And you got, yeah, you have you have the new paint scheme which i'm excited for do you have a picture of that uh we do somewhere okay well we could see it on sunday it's a it's the guaranteed car yeah yeah it's the guarantee it's you know stars and stripes god bless america guarantee love it it'll be the one underneath the checkered flag yep hell us out when you win. Okay.
Just be like, I told part of my take that I was going to win this. And then I did.
I'll do that. All right, Denny.
Thanks so much, man. We really appreciate it.
Best of luck. And we're, we'll be rooting for you.
You're our guy. All right, guys.
We'll see y'all soon. All right, man.
Thanks, man. See you.
We're going to get right back to the show. The last thing you want to hear when you need your auto insurance most is a robot with countless irrelevant menu options which is why with usaa auto insurance you'll get great service that is easy and reliable all at the touch of a button get a quote today restrictions apply all right back to part of my take here he is, creator of Entourage, Doug Ellen.
Okay, we now welcome on a very special guest. It is Doug Ellen, creator, producer, writer.
He created and wrote and produced Entourage, Emmy Award winner. Is that annoying to introduce you as Emmy Award winner, or do you like when people do that? Well, I like it better than when I say six-time Emmy Award loser because for Entourage, we lost a whole bunch, but I actually won one for a 30 for 30 idea.
So I like it, you know. Okay, which 30 for 30 was it? When the Garden Was Eden with Michael Rappaport.
Oh, okay. Perfect.
That one was great. That one was great.
I mean, the Knicks may never be good again, so that was like the pinnacle. You know, I can't argue that, sadly.
It's just a horrible situation we got going on there, but, you know, they were great then. Yeah, yeah.
I'm going to start off with a pretty basic question about entourage, but it's one that I've always wondered when I was watching the show. Did you ever have a hard time figuring out different ways to get the four same guys in the same room together? It was honestly torture.
And now, as I said, Kevin Dillon and I are doing a podcast out of Kevin Connolly's company. And I'm looking back at the show now, and I haven't watched it in years.
So just kind of enjoying it, but yeah, that was one of the hardest things to do. And whenever anybody asked me about, you know, the realistic stuff of the show, the thing I always said was the least realistic thing is that four guys would be together this often, but that was very tricky, you know, and especially when they had separate storylines going because the comedy came when those guys were together.
Yeah, absolutely. So I'm curious to this.
Your career, you moved out to L.A. You're grinding it as a writer, as a stand up comic.
Was there a moment before Entourage happens where you're close to saying, you know what, this isn't for me. I might just give up.
It's not going to work out. I mean, to be honest, there are moments before and after Entourage that that's happened.
But I did two independent movies that both got picked up by studios. And a lot of those experiences ended up in the show.
I did a movie for $100,000 that ended up on screens worldwide that's still playing on Showtime. The reviews came out, said, you know, this movie's unreleasable.
I was 22 years old. Then I did this movie with David Schwimmer called Kissing a Fool, which again was a million and a half dollar movie that Universal picked up.
I was offered everything in town. I turned down everything because I wanted to do my own stuff.
And then the movie came out, which is where the line in Entourage came from. Make sure you take your next job before your last one comes out.
But that movie came out and didn't do business that people expected. And honestly, I thought my career was over after making a living in this business for over a decade.
I suddenly couldn't get a job when I had a movie in theaters. So I was thinking about law school right before Entourage actually happened, which is pretty wild.
So how did it all come together, Entourage come together?

You meet Mark Wahlberg.

Can you tell that story, how at all, the genesis of it?

I mean, I know Mark for years before that.

Steve Levinson is Mark's manager and was my friend from college.

So what happened was, pretty simply, two good things happened. The movie Kissing a Fool started out because these producers, good friends of mine, Todd Mandillo and Andrew Ford, they offered Mark the movie.
And like an entourage scene, Steve Levinson said, the only way Mark will consider it is if Doug Allen writes it and directs it. Now, I was nowhere and nobody, but they were like, who the fuck is Doug Allen? But all right, we'll meet him.
They hired me and obviously Mark was never going to do it. And then we went in different directions.
But so I knew Mark from that point. So entourage happened.
Um, I had set, I had pitched a bunch of TV shows around and nothing was kind of working. And I wrote a curb spec.
I just, I love the show. And I wrote an episode.
I gave it to Lev who was my manager. He read it and said, you know, Mark and I had this idea that we thought would be interesting.
And he told me, and I remember the day at Manhattan, Wonton Factories, I said, that's the worst idea I've ever heard. And Lev, as he often did, said, you'll figure it out, go home and think about it.
So that's where it started. Interesting.
So when you went out to LA initially, you were a standup comedian. I read that you got a job in a mailroom.
Mailroom at New Line Cinema. And I did a short film while I was there that I did stand-up to raise the money for that.
Mike DeLuca, who was VP of New Line at the time, now is an Oscar-winning producer, gave me money out of his own pocket to do this short. Then I went to the American Film Institute and went from there.
I've always wondered about those stories about the mailroom because it seems like a lot of people get starts in mailrooms of companies that they eventually want to work for. Did you ever use the mail to control the narrative to like, you know, just slide something on somebody's desk? I honestly was there.
I mean, I wish I did, but it's actually a weird circus. I was in the mailroom for like less than a month.
And actually I had a kind of a story where one of the VPs of new light ran

into me, spilled coffee on me when I was pushing my mailroom cart and said, uh, screamed at me in front of the whole place. It was like, what the fuck are you doing? Me with coffee on me.
And I just turn and go, what the fuck are you doing is basically what happened. And then I looked around and go, I think my career is over.
Fortunately, I'd made some friends there. I go out and I make this short film with David Schwimmer and Ernie Hudson from Ghostbusters and a couple other people.
And weirdly enough, a producer saw it and thought it was so good that they attached me to direct a real movie. So within that New Line Cinema was making.
So within six months of being in the mailroom at New Line Cinema, I was back in Mike DeLuca's office attached to direct, I think it was the parent trap. And I was 22 years old, honestly had no idea what I was doing, no experience at all.
So I did not get that job, and then I ultimately went back to the film school. What was the moment that you knew that Entourage was going to be a hit? Because I't remember specifically uh how the first season then became the set i just remember seeing on hbo on demand like this new show called entourage watching the first episode and being like holy shit and watch the entire first season in one afternoon was there that feeling of everyone being like oh my god this is a hit right away or was it had to be like, okay, can we do another season? I mean, I'm the most negative person in the world.
So, you know, the ratings were just changing then because TiVo was really coming into play. So when the ratings first came out and I knew what the Sex and the City numbers were, I was like, we're done.
It's over. So for the whole first season while the show was going, I was living in a bubble just trying to write and get this thing going, and I thought it was over.
And it was really not until we were in Las Vegas, the second season shooting, when Jerry Ferrara walked out at the pool at the Hard Rock Hotel, and a thousand meatheads started screaming, turtle. And I was like, what is happening here? It felt like a setup.
And we actually were trying to shoot a scene, and people were screaming screaming turtle and i was like what is happening here it felt like a setup and we actually were trying to shoot a scene and people were screaming turtle drama and i'm like what the hell is happening here so i really lived in a bubble and uh i didn't realize realize things were working until that moment that's interesting and then you know the the popularity catches on and you have a lot of fans that are celebrities you know people that want to appear on the show did you have a lot of people reaching out to you that wanted to be on the show? And you're like, man, I really don't know how to weave this person into a storyline of entourage. To be honest with you, like everything on the show, a lot of people thought there was a lot of product placement, but most of the products on the show were stuff that I used and that I loved.
Same thing with the celebrities. If they reached out to me and I liked them, I figured out a way to get them in.
Obviously, you get a call from LeBron, you figure it out, you know, Russell Wilson, Mark Teixeira. So, you know, I always Tom Brady when that when that happened, which was the best story.
But, you know, we tried to figure that out all the time, because the world is really like that, you know, and a lot of people were like, oh, there's so many cameos many cameos but you know when i was going to screen the movie the first screening at mark's house i walk in and kevin durant's like sitting in a chair like it's like it's no big deal so that's kind of the lifestyle he was living and i looked at it from that perspective so what celebrity hits you up and you're like fuck off dude i you know what i don't think i ever said fuck off but uh kevin i got Kevin Connolly off camera. He's laughing right now.
You had to know that question was you, you left yourself open for that question. I did leave myself open, but I, I really, I mean, it's, you know, it's a question of more of like, was anyone trouble on the set? And the truth is they were all there cause they wanted to be there.
So we didn't have too many problems like that. Way to, way to artfully get out of that question.
I'll give you the real problem. Yeah.
The real thing thing because we want to talk boston new york the real biggest problem i had was eli manning i mean that that was the only real celebrity problem i can come up with because after they won the super bowl that kevin and i were at in arizona when they beat uh who'd they beat kevin they beat the patriots i know who the fuck they did so they beat they beat the patriots and my phone rings my cell phone rings, and it's Eli Mahoney. And he's like, it's my favorite show.
I want to be on it. I'm like, well, then you're on it.
So now cut to six months later. The Giants are going to go on the following year.
They lose to Minnesota, I think. But Eli does not call me back.
I've now written a script, which is easy as people think it is, whether they like the show or not. It's not easy to figure out how to make Eli Manning entertaining and interesting.
So I write the script. I try to reach out to Eli.
There's no callback. I'm calling his agents nothing.
I'm getting Jerry involved. I'm like, you got to call Eli Manning and leave a message.
So Wahlberg saved the day because he's at the office one day. And I'm losing my mind, as I often did.
I'm like, I don't know what to do. We're shooting in three weeks.
I don't know how to replace Eli Manning. And I think I had actually written it as as Eli and Peyton because his agent recommended that.
So I'm like, what are we going to do? Get the Sharp brothers. The whole thing was written as these brothers and blah, blah.
So anyway, Wahlberg comes in and he's like, what if me and Tom Brady do it? Right. Like, well, that well, that'll work.
So we brought him on. And obviously, I turned a lot of New Yorkers who were pretty angry with me.
But as most people know, we had Gronk, we had Edelman, and Belichick has obviously always been a hero of mine. So now it's tough for me.
I kind of root for the Pats a little bit. So the script that Mark and Tom ended up reading, that entire script was meant for Peyton and Eli? Well, I rewrote it as soon as Mark said him and Tom would do it.
And I remember I brought Jerry and I said, Jerry, call the angriest guy you got from Brooklyn and say, what would be the first thing he'd say if you saw Tom Brady? So Jerry called up his friend, I forget who it was. And I remember he's on the phone, real Brooklyn guy.
He goes, if you saw Tom Brady today, what would you say? And he said, suck my balls. So basically that's where that whole thing came from.
But we got them on and then we got Gronk and Edelman in the movie. Yeah.
I mean, table reads, that's the new hot thing going on right now because nobody can produce anything out in the wild. You should get Eli and Peyton to do a table read of the script that you wrote for.
You know what? It's Eli's. He's gone finally for the Giants.
I can go back. I can be happy to root for the Giants again.
So, you know, I don't want to do that. I might get the guys to do a table read or something.
That would be fun while this is happening. When you're writing, you know, seasons in the movie Entourage, and you mentioned at the top, like, six-time Emmy loser, but you won an Emmy.
How much of it are you like cognizant of the critics

and how much are you writing it for these are like my fans

are the guys who are just watching guy relationships on a show

because that's really what it boils down to.

You're watching it for their relationship.

Yeah, I mean, look, the show was really that's what interested me about it,

not the Hollywood aspect of it.

It was friends.

It was like my boys in high school and how we grew up.

Thank you. Yeah, I mean, look, the show was really, that's what interested me about it, not the Hollywood aspect of it.
It was Friends. It was like my boys in high school and how we grew up.
So I tried to do the best I could to make it feel like a group of guys. But the internet was just getting going then, and I would look at message boards, and I did.
The movie, from the critical perspective, was not as well received as we all would have liked.

And the world was changing a little bit.

But I really, I took it to heart and I tried to get back to the feeling of seasons one and two and that. So I did both, you know, I mean, I wrote what I thought was entertaining, obviously.
But I also was very collaborative with these guys. I mean, as Kevin, who's sitting off camera here listening and judging every word I say, I mean, he would call me and tell me what his issues are, just like the other actors i was i was a pleaser to some degree you know kevin what was your biggest issue with the script when he first wrote it that you that you made him change because you're a diva yeah he would say what do you think and i he asked me about one specific script and i was like yeah and you would have thought he flipped out if you were on sopranos you'd be dead just killing you off did you this is the sopranos and you said that to david chase you'd be dead kevin said you're not david chase which i accept at this point in my life so did you ever think about killing off one of the characters you know what i thought about killing vince um to end the show and you know, Mark was so great.
And Mark said from day one to me, he said, just make it good. And that said, I'm not going to, you know, I'm not going to bother you.
The only time Mark really sat down and was like, I got to talk to you is when I was going to kill Vince in the in the series finale. And by the way, that did come from some criticism I was getting.
People were upset that the show got a little darker people wanted to see the light i'm like they said oh everything works out every two seconds as i said they're not gonna see this coming and when fucking vince is coughing you're gonna lose your fucking mind so mark sat me down he goes we're gonna make a movie we're gonna make a broadway show we're gonna make an animated show you can't fucking kill vince so that ultimately was probably the right decision that's good executive producing by by mark mark was yeah mark was the best so so we we did a mount uh flush more so the opposite of mount rushmore of tv characters and i had a

take that was pushed back on very firmly by uh our producer hank but i had a take that vince sucks

did you ever because he drives the story obviously but the story is about the three guys around him did you ever feel like he was the character maybe lacking the most depth out of the four of them yeah I mean it was deliberately done that way you know and it would be hard it was it was kind of hard to of hard to to take a guy like mark where the show started a guy like mark he doesn't really need this crew so we kind of came up with a guy that would really kind of need that group and we had discussions about it you know in episodes ari talks about whether vince is that good of an actor so it's always been a debatable issue you know to me the biggest thing was medellin i thought the medellin trailer was amazing and the movie medellin was supposed to be a big hit but the internet they were like this movie looks like a fucking joke so that's how i switched it to that the movie bond so things definitely did come out of what people were saying interesting yeah that's fascinating so what what is your medellin what is the like passion project that you want to Um, you know, I don't know what the passion project I want to do. I mean, I was, you know, I was trying to, I had a Harry Tubman movie I was doing long before the one that came out.
I had Viola Davis attached. My daughter was in school learning about her.
That was a passion project that ultimately didn't happen. I worked on a, I did a pilot with, you know, Mike Tyson called The Brick that John Ridley won an Oscar, wrote it, and Spike Lee directed that I loved.
Unfortunately, it didn't go forward, but we shot the pilot. It was great.
We had John Boyega playing kind of like a young Mike Tyson. But I don't know.
I'm like past the passion things at this point. You know, I'm just, you know, especially with everything that's going on, I'm trying to survive, making sure my kids are okay, and that's pretty good enough for me right now.
Gotcha. Now that you mention it, that would have been so reckless if you had killed Vinny Chase.
The entire world would have been so mad at you. It would be hilarious.
I wish that you had done that. Yeah, I mean, it would have been ugly, but it would have been good.
It would have been an interesting arc. you mentioned it the critics in the movie

when you have a movie

that gets the critics are like

oh this is too bro-y or whatever they say

do you still care or are you like

fuck that man I'm successful I don't give a fuck

do you reach that fuck you money

or like you know status

I mean

my money's okay but I care

I care a lot and I'm sensitive

to that stuff doesn't mean

I agree with it and by the way you know

Thank you. I know I mean I my money's okay but I care I care a lot and I'm sensitive to that stuff doesn't mean I agree with it and by the way you know as I said going back and looking at the show I was going where did Vince even come from from my head because he said you know early on like the first or second episode with a bad review you don't take the good ones and you don't take the bad ones so you know the New York Times said we were the best show on television for the first two seasons.
You know, out of dramas, comedies, we were listed as number one. And then people said the movie was so bad, I don't really waste my energy trying to figure out how to take it.
I think the world was changing. I think guys talking like that sort of went out of favor, and all of a sudden girls started talking like that, and that became the thing.
But thought the movie if you like the show you would like the movie and and you know there's exit polls that they do out here and that weekend which i remember you know spy was the big movie that weekend but we we actually got a higher exit poll than they did so i don't i'm not a big fan of the critics but you can't take the positives you know and then ignore the negatives but they hurt for sure you know but you you do you say like you know guys don't talk like that anymore but you got the one thing no no i didn't say i didn't say that i said people don't want to see it yeah talk like that yes guys still talk like that yes you're absolutely by the way you guys you guys have done great stuff that you've kind of gotten back to that and the truth is entourage got back to that because when i was it was Porky's, an animal house, and that kind of went out of favor. And Entourage is before the hangover, which Mark always used to say, those guys owe you a billion dollars.
That's what Mark used to say to me. But we were before that.
And when I pitched the show, what my feeling was is, forgetting all of Hollywood, hopefully that'll be interesting, but this is going to be guys talking how I know that guys talk. So of course guys still talk this way.
And, and my defense of these four guys or five was that they were really, they were all good guys and they were all about each other and they weren't predators. They weren't this.
So, you know, you can take it or leave it, but that's what it was. So what's your favorite, like guy lingo line that you love that like still exists in Lexicon today from Entourage? I mean, listen, even watching the show the last few days, and it doesn't make me uncomfortable, but there is stuff that I realize I'm like, I mean, there's no way I would hand that in to the female executives, which, by the way, that's who I dealt with when we were doing the show.
But I take pride in even your boy. And even your boy who attacked me, by the way, I don't know why.
But the guy comes out. Portnoy comes out of a fucking pizza place and is like, I am Queens Boulevard.
And he's like, can we talk about how overrated the writing is on this show? And I'm like, Doug is very sensitive. I didn't even know that.
One pizza review a million years ago. I'm like, you're quoting something I wrote 15 years ago and you're trashing me.
But you know, I love that line. Do you, do you cringe or like when people say, hug it out, bitch? I love it.
I mean, I love it. I love sports center.
I still hear Johnny drama victory and, you know, and Kevin Connolly and Dylan and I were doing a podcast called the Victory Podcast.

So I love it. And I love the fact that, you know,

when that happened, I kept saying to Dylan every day I said, say victory again. He's like, why do I keep saying

this? I go, because it's going to become a thing.

I knew it would. So I feel, obviously,

some pride in that. And obviously

Kevin had a lot to do with that as well.

Unfortunately, Connolly never got a real

tagline.

Come on, Sloan, please. No, no.
No, his tagline is Seth Green, right? I mean, like, tell Sloan I say hello. That's pretty much his tagline.
So, yeah, that's interesting about drama. When he was saying baby bro, was that something when you wrote it, you knew that he was going to say baby bro over and over again? Or when he said it, you were like, that sounds awesome you know we talked about this on the podcast but like when you get the actors you start you know going into what you see in them and dylan was so great so there was just so many things to add to him he just brought a lot of you know empathy to him and everything that came out of his mouth so yeah how how weird was it to uh direct your own son because your son played Ari Gold's son in Entourage, right? Yeah.
Yeah. You know, it was great.
Those are special memories, you know, and I didn't want him to be an actor. I didn't want him to be in the business, but he would hang around set and pivoting him would just start improvising.
And he was like seven years old and everyone was like, you know, just put them on. So I did it.
And it was a lot of fun. So it sounds like you have some personal history, some personal beef with a lot of people here at Barstool, because there's Dave.
No, no. That's it.
Who else? Well, there's somebody that you might not even know that you have beef with, but your biggest fan probably here is Glenny Balls. Glenny Balls loves Entourage.
You've probably seen his burger reviews with the Balls scale, but you blocked him on instagram like five years ago he doesn't know why to this day you blocked him and he doesn't he swears that he was not trolling you in the comments so i have i have to ask you one do you remember glennie balls two do you just have an itchy block finger i got an itchy block finger by the way ke by the way kevin connelly blocked me on facebook when i

told him that he was not going to be available to direct the scene at yankee stadium when we were shooting it so kevin knows about blocks i honestly i get i get in so does kevin we get in a lot of fights on instagram with the comments but i do not remember that specific thing but he probably knows what he said or maybe i did it on accident can you unblock him right now he's a sweetheart yeah he's like he's the biggest fan i will unblock him 100 and by the way portnoy i was a fan of his i just didn't know i like i would watch a pizza review and all of a sudden start getting abused 15 years later yeah that's a ricochet shot that's a big time it's glenny balls it's g-l-e-n-n-y-b-a-l-l-s glenny balls As soon as we are done, I will do it. I don't know.
You've got to do it right now. You're not going to do it.
I swear to God I'm going to do it. Do it right now.
Absolutely. The unblocking.
Do it. I know I'm going to get nasty messages or something.
No, no. He'll be tickled pink.
Hold on. I'll FaceTime him right now so we can do a cross stream real quick.

By the way, I was going to send you guys some ping pong video of me beating Gronk pretty handedly.

You kicked Gronk's ass in ping pong?

Uh-huh.

I'm ready to come on there and kick anyone else's ass.

I can't relate.

Yeah, I mean.

Wait, Glenny Ball's fan page? No. Unblock that one, too.
Unblock that one, too. I didn't even know that existed.
Wait, you blocked Glenny Ball's fan account? No, no, that's what came up when I typed it in to find him. Wait, Wes said it to me.
Go to your block. Give me.
I'll block that. He's probably taking a nap.
I'll unblock it. Kevin Collins is unblocking him.
He's so so peaceful right now. Tell him to please be nice to me.
I'm too old to get abused anymore. He loves – he's like the biggest Entourage fan in the world.
He's back. I'll talk to him today.
I'll tell him I love him today. Okay.
That actually makes me feel good. He's not picking up, which sucks.
He's big-timing us. Yeah, he's big-timing us.
Maybe we'll block him now. Yeah.
Fuck that. Do you feel like George Clooney also owes you like a billion dollars because of his tequila company from the storyline? He stole it from the storyline you wrote in about Turtle? No, no, no.
Those are my best friends who had a tequila company, Avio, and they sold it for a couple hundred million dollars. And Mike Meldman started that with George.
He's a good friend of mine. I actually saw his son an hour ago.
So I'm happy for them. And God bless.
You know, I hope they make $10 billion. Yeah.
Hey, by the way, have you ever thought about doing a spinoff? I think there's been rumors about an Ari Gold spinoff. But we got a different spinoff for you.
I forgot we even pitched this. But Jimmy Tatro, our good friend out in L.A., we pitched him this idea,

an entourage for bloggers. I like it.
I like it, but not a spinoff, though. You mean with a whole new cast? Yeah, a whole new cast.
So I guess it wouldn't be a spinoff, but it would basically just be us hanging out, doing nothing. Or it could be E's new management.
Yeah, it could be E's new management. Yeah, yeah.
I like it. I like it.
I like it. Maybe we're the bloggers leave negative reviews for Vinny's movies.

And. new management yeah yeah i like it or maybe i like it i like it maybe we're the bloggers leave negative reviews for vinnie's movies and then they go team up with the bloggers and they're like hey you think you can do a better job let's see you try right and then we write the absolute worst movie that's ever been made well the second i like it you wrote fat like you wrote fat beach right? You wrote fat.
Wait a second. I was 21 years old.
I got hired. I mean, and I rewrote it.
And I rewrote it, and it still plays. Chris Rock used to make fun of that in his stand-up, so I feel good about that.
But we shot that in nine days when I was 22 years old. PH, with a PH, Fat Beach.
That's pretty impressive, though, to shoot an entire movie. I did not come up with that title.
I did not come up up with that idea i just was a guy who got hired to do it well you'd rather have a movie that's like so noteworthy in how much people hate it that they talk about in stand-up routines and one that nobody ever sees right i a hundred percent you know i was paid eleven thousand dollars by the way a lot of blocked accounts take a second. How many? How many blocked accounts? Let's just say I'm still scrolling.
Okay. There's a lot of nasty people out there.
I'm sure you guys do it. How many Emmys do you have to win to stop blocking people on social media? How many what? Emmys do you have to win to stop blocking people on social media? What's the threshold where you're like, I'm unassailable? You know it's not even that it's just some people i mean there's crazy i had a guy last week who i think he was actually suing mark also about bullies but this fucking lunatic actor keith middlebrook starting a fight with me on instagram so i i wrote some shit back fuck you then he started writing about corona cures that he had the fbi arrested him last week Google mean, the guy, the FBI literally came to his house and arrested him.
So don't fuck with my Instagram. The FBI will show up afterwards.
You and Big Ben probably blocked most people on social media. Yes.
I mean, if you block gunny balls, that's. So you guys do not block anyone.
I block spammers, like straight spammers that aren't actually commenting, that are just spamming their own links underneath, like, tweets and Instagram. That's pretty much it.
Right. I'll block spammers, like straight spammers that aren't actually commenting, that are just spamming their own links underneath tweets and Instagram.
That's pretty much it. Right.
I'll block a spammer, but I won't block if it's actually like a robot, like a very attractive woman commenting under an Instagram post. Like, click here.
I squirt. Drop, drop, drop.
Right. I'm going to let that play.
That play is on my page. Right.
I want the rest of my followers to be able to see that and click if they choose to. Right.
All right. I'm not trying to cock block anyone.
And also, it's good for my image if people see that and they're like, wow, look at all these totally real women that just want to squirt everywhere. You guys are young and hot right now, so you get good stuff out of all this stuff.
Right now, I'm sitting in my house. I don't really want to be abused by some asshole on the internet at this point you know but what about the squirters my girlfriend's sitting here so i i don't even know what that means all right um all right all right yeah good answer doug you don't know what it means speaking of of girlfriends i always wondered when i was watching entourage like was there a clock an internal clock that you had every time a girlfriend? Like, okay, you have to figure out a way for them to break up so we can introduce another attractive woman to the show.
I mean, you know, even looking back at the show, it's funny that they talk about all the sex in it. I mean, I'm through like the first season.
There's not that much sex in it, you know? So we made the place look good, but there were good looking guys as well. So we didn't have that but we did have someone a boston guy jay janoni who was walberg's buddy he used to he used to wrangle all the good-looking girls at the clubs to get extras for the show so that was his job and uh he was pretty proud of it that is that is the perfect job for somebody named jay janoni is to be mark walberg's guy he's your guy goes out and finds hot chicks at nightclubs.
He had a business card. What did it say on it, Kev? He had a business card back in the day.
Entourage, producer. He says, not you, not you, not you.
Yeah. My last question has been awesome.
When Entourage became very popular, it was on HBO. Streambo streaming services have taken over how do you think you would have done if it were uh like the netflix era and you had a lot maybe not more to deal with but there's just so many things on netflix now do you think you would have the same breakthrough success my feeling is we would be bigger now social media didn't exist social media didn't exist and we i think you know we're a much younger show than most of the stuff on at hbo at the time and we still you know we found our audience and i think it would have been something that spread a lot through social media it's also tricky though because if it came out on netflix it sounds like you know for better for worse you listen to what people say about the show you can take that constructive criticism when it's not just like people being assholes.
And you can you can kind of adapt with that. What do you got? No, no.
I'm just saying, like, if it came out on Netflix, you wouldn't be able to get that constant feedback because you just dumping all these episodes at once. It's probably a good thing.
I look at everything like it was it was, you know, it was meant to be. It was the perfect timing.
I mean, HBO was really the only game in town at that point. It was the king of it.
This wasn't a show, you know. In fact, you know, the executive the night before called me up to tell me, like, to get ready for some really bad reviews because they usually do smart stuff at HBO.
But fortunately, the critics were good to us for a while. And, you know, it was a good run.
There's no Glennie Balls. There's no blocked Glennie Balls.
Oh, wow. We might have been dealing with some fake news on our side then.
What did you win your Emmy for? When the Garden was Eden. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's right. I was just reading because I didn't realize I should have introduced you.
I didn't realize you were the screenwriter for Bad Santa 2.

I should have introduced you as the screenwriter for Bad Santa 2.

I actually ended up not.

I was not.

Oh.

Yeah.

Stolen valor on your Wikipedia. I was about for a minute.

My good friend produced it, and I was writing for a bit on it,

but we separated and went separate ways.

I don't have a syllable in that script.

So what are you working on right now?

Right now I'm working on a new show with Thierry Henry, the football player.

I can't say soccer over there.

And another pitch, which, you know, kind of leans into your blog or idea a little bit.

So it's the French entourage?

It's something like that, but a little different.

My last, last question.

Could you go into any, like, studio meeting and just be like uh entourage for nebraska and people be like okay in definitely not definitely not you know it used to it used to listen it used to be like that because everybody used to sell shows it's entourage here it's entourage there then as i said the world started changing and entourage somehow got revisited as the show about a bunch of assholes who chase women, which it never really was. But it's a little, it's a little, you know, PC right now out of favor.
So Entourage for Deloitte accountants. Yeah.
It's sick. It's going to be a sick show.
And I would sign that check. I'd be like, let's go.
Absolutely. Make money.
Yeah. You guys can fund it soon You guys can fund it soon.
So, you know, if you guys keep rolling like this. I like what you just did a second ago, and you're like, well, the other thing that I'm working on, it's funny.
It's actually kind of similar to what you guys just pitched me. That's how you steal something.
That's how you take it. Nice.
You can't sue me. You guys are totally fucked now.
You can't sue me at all. No, well, guess what? We won't sue you, but we'll start fighting with you on Instagram, and we know that's actually way worse than suing you.
Yeah, we're just going to have our lawyer, Mike Portnoy, comment on all your Instagram comments. Don't have Portnoy come after me, by the way.
I'm a fan of his. Oh, I don't think we can control that, Doug.
Yeah, but we can control his dad. You're screwed.
No, I think he'll be okay. He'll be okay.
Well, thank you so much. It's been awesome, man.
We really appreciate your time. Thank you, guys.
I appreciate it. Good luck with what you're doing.
Everybody loves it. So good luck.
Thanks, man. You too.
And wait, just so we're clear, don't comment about squirting videos in your Instagram.

I'm dead.

No, don't do it. Goodbye, guys.

Don't do it.

Goodbye.

Don't do it.

See you, man.

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And now, let's get to Ryan Jensen to talk about Tom Brady's butthole. Okay, we now welcome on a special guest.
It is starting center for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Ryan Jensen, who has been in the news recently, and we want to talk to you about that. So you tweeted out about how Tom Brady was showing you how to fold your towel to minimize the ass sweat that you have when he's got his hands under your ass.
Now, I would say the first question is, do you normally have a sweaty ass? For me, I'm not a big-time sweater. I'm not a swamp-ass guy, even though I'm 3'15".
I'm a relatively non-sweat guy, but apparently I sweat too much for Tom. Okay.
And so when he he tried to tell you that was he like hey man this is going to be a big sticking point in our relationship like you're sweating too much yeah literally the first conversation I ever had with Tom Brady after he after he signed with with the Bucks was uh you know we talked life and stuff for about five minutes on the on phone call. And then it was straight to, hey, I need you to shove a towel down your ass so you don't get my hands sweaty.
That's perfect. So how particular was he when he was telling you how exactly where to fold it over? What size towel works? How many towels work? Like, did he get into the details with you in the mud? Yeah, it's actually funny funny a lot of people are asking about that picture that i tweeted if uh you know i tweeted about it and was like you know folded this way this way everybody was asking is that the actual conversation that we're having right there and that was literally the photographer caught us having the conversation about how to fold the towel and you know how far to put it down my pants and then how much baby powder to put down my cracks.

So, yeah, I mean, he was pretty particular about it.

You know, it's got to be a good, a good sized hand towel, you know, you know, one of those big towels that you see on the sideline.

Okay.

So it's like a hand towel.

Then do you fold it hot dog style or hamburger style?

Like, does it go all the way through the front?

Could you floss with it?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. He, you know, you fold it hamburger style first and then you know hot dog style and then you know shove it down there you know get it get a nice and deep like and you know throw a bunch of powder down there yeah so is this now uh like when you i'm sure there's actually you tell me are you a player who gets like anxious before a game like you know you hear sometimes like oh they'll have nightmares or there's that you know nervous energy that

rushes through your veins before a game do you have that uh not really you know i'm a little

concerned about the whole towel thing you know yeah it's something out of my ordinary you know

now it's like you know i gotta get the statement hole you know three minutes earlier to uh you know

shove a towel down my ass and you know that might give me a little bit of anxiety what what is it uh

Thank you. like you know i gotta get the statement hole you know three minutes earlier to uh you know shove a towel down my ass and you know that might give me a little bit of anxiety what what has it uh been like though it honest question about like how many times you've worked out with tom like have you you know have you guys hung out out outside of uh just working out or like what has that been so far yeah you know we've had a couple FaceTime calls and stuff talking about details of how he likes things done,

how I like things done.

I've only worked out with him, I think, twice now.

I haven't really had a good chance to sit down and hang out with him yet.

But I just got back to Florida on Monday.

He listens to this show, you know. I think.
We think. When Julian Edelman makes him listen to this show.
Yeah. I don't know why he wouldn't listen to it.
So do you want us to cut out that part about you saying he was too old? Oh, yeah, definitely cut that out. Okay, done.
Hank makes it remember that. And then this part explains why it takes me that out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. So maybe one thing that you could do, because it's got to be different.
I would imagine it's different running around, making blocks, getting all your footwork right with a towel inside your butt crack, as opposed to just going free ball, going commando with no towel. So this summer, are you just going to load up your butt with towels and just walk around the house, get some extra reps in, maybe wear extra towels, and then on game day, you only have just one.
It's like taking cuts with a leaded batting donut. Yeah, exactly.
You know, I'm going to, I might, you know, wrap some sandpaper in the towel, you know, just to really get that, that shaving, you know, get that callus built up that way, you know, when it's just the towel, you know, it's, it's, you know, smooth, like, like cotton. On game day, it's like a pillow.
Yeah. Do you think that you could tell the difference between Tom Brady's hand, Joe Flacco's hand, because you were on the Ravens, Jameis' hand? He's got small hands.
That's the small one. And then Ryan Fitzpatrick's hand.
Yeah. I mean, there's always a difference.
You know, Fitz, every time he would get under center, he'd give a little bit harder of a tap. You know, you always knew when Fitz was getting under center.
But, yeah, you definitely can tell different people's hands and stuff like that, as weird as that sounds. You know, got a very sensitive undercarriage.
Yeah. Who was the most, like, caring and sensitive when they would line up under center? Most sensitive.
I don't know. Probably, probably Joe because he never actually really got really that far in there.
You know, he was, he was almost like a low backhand placement. So I'd say he's probably the most gentle.
What, how many of Jameis Winston's 30 interceptions last year would you say you were responsible for? Honestly, I think probably one or two. Okay.
Okay. So he really only threw 28.
Yeah, you know, put it that way. I snapped the ball early in the New Orleans game at home.
I snapped the ball early, and Mike wasn't ready to run the route he tossed it up and uh ended up being a pick so i'll take responsibility for that one okay did you make any tackles last year i think i i had one tackle uh i'm pretty proud about you know i had uh i think six fumble recoveries which you know isn't a great thing but you know i was you know ball haw like that. That's huge.
That is huge. You also, there was a couple times you got into it with Jameis on the sidelines.
What were those conversations like? Yeah, you know, Jameis, I love Jameis first off. You know, me and him are really good friends.
Our kids are really good friends, you know. Both, we're both a little fiery and, yeah, it was just, you know, I got a personal foul on the, you know, on the famous one and you got a personal foul and, you know, we kind of went out a little bit, you know, a little FU, a little FU, you know, it was, it was pretty good.
Were you on the team when Jameis did the E to W? No, that was, I think the year before I got there. Shit.
Did you talk to any of your teammates about that? No. Yes.
You did. Yeah.
Yeah, you did. No, a lot of guys were like, you know, not necessarily taken out of context, but they were just kind of like, what the hell are you doing? Yeah.
That's just Jameis, though. Jameis is a clown like that sometimes.
And, you know, he really is a good leader. And he gives some off-the-wall speeches.
But, you know, it's always meant for the best, that's for sure. He's a future Hall of Famer.
He is. For sure.
Yes, confirmed. Bruce Arians, do you have a good Bruce story about the first time he walked into camp? Did he cut anybody for parking in his spot this year? No, he didn't.
But somebody actually did. A young kid parked in his spot.
And I was like, I walked in. He literally just got there.
It was like halfway through the year. And I saw this random car parked in VA's parking spot.
And I'm like, this is about 6 o'clock in the morning, maybe a little bit earlier.

Like, I've never seen that vehicle before.

I've never seen BA getting that truck before.

So I went to the locker room real quick.

It was literally some rookie that, you know, was on the street that they brought in like week 12.

I'm like, yeah, you might want to go move your car.

Your ass might be gone.

Yeah, that's a trigger for Bruce.

He's the man, though.

We went and interviewed Bruce at his house in Georgia. He's a pretty good guy to hang out with.
Oh, no doubt. Yeah.
All right, I had one last question. And this one, people are going to probably be like, what is he asking? But Stephen Shea, who's the biggest Bucs fan in the world, our co-worker, asked, would you like to be his friend? Sure.
I'd love to be Steven's friend. Okay.
All right. Love? Love to be his friend? I don't know about love.
I would like to be, you know, maybe acquaintances more than friends. Did you meet him when he came down to the Bucs facility last year? I don't think so.
I think I saw him there. I don't think I actually met him, though because I just I love Stephen Shea but The pictures from that were very funny Because it felt like he was He was on a Make-A-Wish Tour And I just want you guys to all like him You know and be friends with him because he loves you guys So so much No yeah he's different things on Twitter.
Oh. Yeah, he said – Anything bad? He said that you got the Stephen Shea breakdown treatment after week nine.
Was it bad? Did you get bad breakdown? No, it was a good breakdown. I think we won that game.
You know, I was kicking some dudes' ass. So, you know.
Okay. Right there, you know, it made me like him.
Not to add more anxiety because you have Tom Brady sweat,

butt sweat anxiety, but now, just so you know,

Stephen Shea is watching every game very closely in film breaking down.

So if you make a mistake, he will find it.

I'm here for it, you know.

Okay, wow.

That sounds like a challenge.

Yeah.

You don't want to challenge him.

Iron sharpens iron.

Yeah.

Mitch Trubisky's never been the same since Stephen Shea broke down that film.

It's very true.

He also said that you're a big meat guy.

What does that mean?

You like cooking meat?

Love cooking.

Cooking steak, smoking brisket.

Anything you throw on a grill, that's for me.

What's your favorite cut of steak?

I'm a ribeye guy.

Nice thick cut ribeye.

Good choice.

If you had said sirloin, I would have absolutely questioned your credentials but yeah i would have um all right well thank you for joining us man and best of luck this year and best of luck with i don't even know do you have you guys heard anything tell us some inside news like when we're gonna have sports back yeah they really haven't told us anything i don't really think anybody knows what the hell's going on. To be honest with the NFL, you know, there's, there's all those rumors going around about, you know, playing in empty stadiums and, and stuff like that, which would be weird and weirder than hell.
But it'd be awesome for you. I'd assume.
Yeah. It'd be great for me.
Cause there'd be no crowd noise. Right.
Right. You gotta be kind of rooting for that.
Oh, I have one last, last question. Were you guys aware of my dog when he was talking about Gronk coming back? Uh-huh.
You didn't hear about my dog. Okay.
We can cut that part out. Have you met Gronk? I haven't yet.
I think he was down here last week, and I just got back this week. But I think he's moving down.
I think he's actually going to live pretty close to where I'm living at. So, you know, my little block party.
Yeah. LMFAO.
Make sure you got that on your, on your Pandora list. Definitely.
Yeah. All right.
Well, thank you so much, man. We really appreciate it.
Best of luck. And hopefully we'll talk to you during the season.
Perfect. Sounds good.
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Okay, let's finish up the show with our documentary review. We reviewed this week the Dude Perfect documentary titled Backstage.
It took us backstage on their Pound It Noggin tour. Which we all know that's how they sign off in their videos They pound it, fist, and then they go noggin for the headbutt And then they do a quick prayer Hoping that Jesus will look over them while they shoot a basketball into a hoop I was shocked that Rob Dyrdek was the executive producer That was my first note I feel like Rob was very hands off this documentary.
I think Rob was like, I will put my name on it and give my production company to it, and then I will collect a check. I don't know where we want to start.
I'll start with this. To understand Dude Perfect, you have to understand that- We should put a disclaimer first.
What's the disclaimer? The disclaimer is that I don't want to come off- Personally personally this is how i feel like i don't want to sound salty i think like no the hustle is respectable the hustle is respectable the grind is respectable it's good for them that they've all provided for their families and made a lot of money so like there's no knock there right we'll get to all that i think that's that's part of the review because it does get into like their family life and a little bit of their backstory and all that um but it sounds like hank is about to rip him a new asshole go for it i'm just gonna be honest you made me watch this documentary that's my whole thing it's like i go on my way to avoid right no offense good guys good for them providing for their family like i respect the hustle i respect the grind i respect how much money they made good for them they sold out stadiums that's crazy but good for them this is and i don't mean this in a bad way but when you ever think like you're like you know your college years you're like what would it have been like if we didn't drink just watch this exactly perfect exactly right like if we didn't if we just never had a sip of alcohol and didn't talk to girls, what would my college life have been like? Dude, perfect documentary. Because you have to figure out how to pass those hours.
By throwing footballs at each other in your living room. You get home from class.
It's five o'clock on like a Friday. Most college kids are like, okay, let's empty the kegerator.
Right. That's not a bad thing.
It's not a bad thing at all's time to party they all found four other guys that were like them didn't want to drink and we're just they're like hey let's just be goofy instead and come up with these weird games that we can play together to pass time yep and they get one thing i'll say about them they have managed to get to stay pumped their entire lives their entire adult lives they're always amazed when when anything small happens if you were to flip over this can of pure or this bottle purell right now and land it it's like oh even if i had missed it they'd be like oh no right you didn't make it like they are living in the moment they're doing a good job of that but to understand dude Dude Perfect, you have to understand Texas A&M culture. Right.
These five guys are the most Texas A&M people that you will ever see in your lives. They are the poster children for weird Aggies that graduate, wear their rings all the time.
The biggest trick shot Dude Perfect ever made was the five of them all having kids at the exact same time. Yes.
All their babies are the same age. Yep.
They nutted. The sperm hit the egg, and they were all like pounded, noggin.
Noggin. Sick.
Yeah, I've always said Texas A&M's biggest rival is against fun. So it makes sense.
Like, you know, you go to Texas A&M, and you wear your class ring, and you do trick shots. I also, is this a Southern thing, but calling a basketball hoop a basketball goal? No.
That's an old, old person thing. But they're like, they were 20.
That's just a Cody thing. I think, yeah.
Yeah, should we rank them, by the way? Let's do it. Okay, I actually like tall guy.
Yes, tall guy's good. I also think the tall guy has a little look.
He kind of, in a different light, looks a little bit like Chris Bryant. So I had feels for him.
When they were showing Chris Bryant, at one point I thought there was two Chris Bryants. Right, I had feels for Cody because I was like, I fucking love you, Chris Bryant.
And I was like, wait, that's not Chris Bryant, that's Cody. We were actually right.
I wish we had recorded our session when we were trying to completely plan the breakup of Dude Perfect. But the one, the neat freak, they were like, he...
Garrett. You could tell that they were too nice, obviously.
They didn't go into the feuds or the hatred that they definitely all have for each other, which was fucking annoying. But Garrett, they alluded to him not liking...
This is like Michael Jordan. Dude Perfect made their own documentary.
So we have to read between the lines a little bit. They alluded to Garrett not liking being around because they're so messy.
I have a feeling that Garrett definitely hates the rest of them more than the others. It's more than just the tidiness.
If you look at the nicknames and the personas behind all of them, you've got the twins, very clearly the twins. Twin one and twin two.
Tall guy, he's tall. That makes sense.
You got got beard guy and then you have the purple hoser and that's garrett and garrett's only personality trait besides being clean is that he he decided to wear purple he likes the color purple he wears the color purple a lot i like him he's okay i actually think that tall guy should have been the beardo tall guy should be the front man well i mean if we want to talk about if we want to talk about Tyler, we can get to Tyler in a little bit. Has there ever been a more obvious thing than Tyler's dad being their agent? Nope.
And Tyler's dad rocking like a backwards hat and Under Armour type T-shirts all the time. This all makes sense.
Okay. Yep.
It was it was so obvious. It's my son is going to be the star because he's got the beard.
And everyone loves his rage thing that everyone talks about. The rage monster.
We got so many emails about the rage monster. Tyler was saying.
We're fucking keeping it, bitches. Tyler was like, probably the most popular thing that we do at Dude Perfect is when I do the rage monster.
Yeah, when everyone's like, rage monster uh i know that we've joked about them before but i i don't think i ever really learned their names so when i saw the intro and it was truly like cody kobe cory i was like wait am i being pranked like this actually is their names okay tyler and garrett um the all right so my biggest take uh well i did love i and I'm not I'm right. So my biggest take.

Well, I did love.

And I'm not.

I'm sure people get mad at this.

I'm not a religious person, but I did love the religious circles like they were going to war when they were just like jumping around in like sumo suits.

Yeah.

But to each their own.

Not going to not going to judge them on that.

Is there is a Christian only?

What?

Dude.

Perfect.

Like, I feel like as a Jewish person, it might. Would you feel comfortable attending a dude perfect show i think i would i'd have no problem i i don't like religious people no matter what denomination but i'm whatever i teach their own people should be able to do whatever they want they seem all like future youth pastors yes summer camp and and to be fair they're really good with kids yes what were the twins names cody and kobe cody and cory i think the biggest kobe and cory kobe and which is the one that had bell's palsy where his face went numb twin one or twin two because i actually like that they creep me out he's the best of the two twins you knew we were getting a good documentary when the guy was like the first time i met kobe and cory is when i went to their house and they were learning the soldier board dance a projector yes and instead of leaving running away and never coming back he was like sweet and we're best friends for life now i was just like oh my god you see that clip of either cody or cory when he was like 11 years old playing basketball in his driveway and doing like the and one style dribbling i would just based off that i would have walked away from that person for forever i would have yeah imagine swatted that shit imagine being in college imagine being in college and walking into a room with two twins with bowl cuts yeah doing the soldier boy dance i mean kind of cool i think these dudes are sick all right so my biggest takeaway and this is where i probably deviate from you guys but it's a perspective thing because I used to think it was the lamest thing ever.
And now watching this documentary and being a dad, I'm like, you know what? It's clean fun. And someday, like my son might be like, I want to go to a dude.
Perfect show. And I'll be like, my God, whatever you want, like to make you happen.
Like it happens. It's it's but it but i'd be fine with that like i i actually i think two years ago or a year ago i'd be like this is so lame but watching it and seeing who it's for i think the my original hate for them was like are we if we're competing for the same audience how the fuck are people picking them over us even though we do different things but then i realized like they're like a kid show and it's it's you know what i'm not gonna hate on a kid show because kids show like it's fun they make people happy they make people smile it's not for me but i'm not gonna hate on them i i kind of fall into the same camp as big cat and i i came out of watching this understanding dude perfect they started doing this oh hank's so bad listen they started doing this to pass the time they turned it into a very lucrative career it seems like they've got a fun job that they like going to when they're not hating the beard guy and his dad for running everything i think that what they're doing is a net positive i i cried during this movie you did i cried in the scene with the kid that had leukemia yeah when they went to his house because he couldn't come to the show all right they hey listen they went to his house hank he couldn't go to their show that night it's they did they do it they did why the fuck are we watching it because performance for him.
And then they FaceTimed him. The last two

movies I've cried in, Forrest Gump

in like 1999 and

Dude Perfect Noggin Pounded

in 2020.

I teared up during this movie.

This is what I'm saying. I didn't want to come across as a hater.

Dude Perfect, good for them. Fucking

making bank, doing their thing. Awesome.

Cool. Sick.
However,

if I

have to be forced to watch it,

I'm not going to hide the fact that it's

I'll see you next time. making bank, doing their thing.
Awesome. Cool.
Sick. However, if I have to be forced to watch it, I'm not going to hide the fact that I was cringing out of my skull and it was just so like they're just.
Yeah, see, I get it. I get it.
And it's like they're making money, so I understand it. It's good for them.
But it's just like it's good, clean, fun, cool. But when you watch it, you're still like, why am I watching this? Theyodeon they are like the like like when they show russell wilson i'm like there's no better pair than dude perfect and russell wilson it's good clean there was no moment that any of them were like universally like that was hilarious like there's no there was there was no substance in the movie it was just like wait we did we're constantly stoked what about when kobe hit the uh fly off the orange juice? Yeah.
That was sick. The entire movie got up.
And everyone was like, wait, wait, wait, boom. Or what about when they put peanut butter and jelly on their dad's face and then put the bread on? Like Last Dance, they were watching a documentary.
There's X crucial moments in the season that made everything happen. There was no substance in this entire documentary.
It's just like, we made videos, became popular, and then we got sponsors and we sold out. Wrong, Hank.
They said probably the biggest chance that we took. I will say their office is unbelievable.
I don't want to sound like a hater, but I can't sit there and watch it and not be like, I hate this, I hate this, I hated it. They had a choice to either die or grow, and they grew when they said, we're going to do stereotypes.
Yes. And then Be then bero's dad was like okay my son gets to do all the stereotypes yeah and he gets to introduce everybody he gets to be the rage monster he gets to sit in the middle he gets to rage in every single one of their stereotypes every situation needs a rage guy obviously rage monster um i so many i thought it was funny how how before every single show that they did they get stressed out about something and what they were getting stressed out about was always so hilarious it's like oh our t-shirt cannon isn't going to be able to hit the dunk tank right unless we change our drone battery right right there was like so many colby's been colby's been uh really cold from three on the oversized rim today will he make it in prime time uh there was one i think we're absolutely right to say that it was a garrett tyler the beardo tyler tyler that there is absolutely some animosity towards tyler when purple guy the purple king yes garrett the real one was sitting down they did like a double interview as him and beardo and garrett was like you know it's crazy when the cameras come on beardo really always comes out to shine and you could read him between that line be like, you know, it's crazy.
When the cameras come on, Beardo really always comes out to shine. And you could read him between that line and be like, he does not like Beardo and thinks that Beardo's a dick when the cameras are off.
And then when they come on, then all of a sudden he's Mr. Personality.
Right, right. And, I mean, credit to them for making money and doing the whole thing.
Where I find on Dude Perfect is... You made hundreds of thousands of people watch this documentary.
How do you feel about that? That's my question. Okay, I'm going to tell you.
My final thought on Dude Perfect is this. I think it's good, clean fun.
I understand now it's a kid's show. It's a kid's show, Okay.
It's a fucking kid's show. Like eight year olds looking on YouTube.

Like if my son is,

he shows me when he's nine years old,

like check out this dad,

I found this.

I'd be like,

good.

Cause I'd rather you watch this than whatever's out on the fucking internet.

You know what I mean?

Like this is the good,

this is the good path for like a regular young kid to be like hey these guys are funny they're goofy they like pie each other and shoot threes but if you but you're gonna be like but little cat no rage monster no but here's here's my caveat here's my asterisk and then be like guys here's my ass my son just rage monster do i do i still knowing that knowing everything i just said that i'm actually like in favor good clean fun and it's endearing and all that shit if you ask me do i am i is there a small part of me that's rooting for one of them to get into like a huge sex scandal a drug running scandal of course because that would be hilarious uh-huh who do you think who do you think is the one that's most likely to get caught

up in in some mischief tyler's fucked all the weirdo or purple i think what if the twins are fucking each other that would be fine i'd be fine with that'd be that'd be good scandal although is incest legal in texas yeah okay yes then don't college station yeah i think it's yeah so maybe not that but like as long as you're related to the sheep if one of them had like like a Tiger Woods esque, like he's fucking, he's fucked like a thousand milfs on the road. Yeah.
That would be hilarious. And was there ever a more obvious black leather or black rubber wedding ring guy than Beardo? Yeah.
That was him and Andy Dalton from the start. Yeah.
I noticed that Drew Brees didn't bring his daughter to meet them backstage

Tough

I saw that

Tough

I made a special note of that one

Yeah, here's the thing about them

They started out going for a similar audience, I think, to what part of my takes audience is

No

But they tried

They tried to

No

They tried to

No, they didn't

And then they're like, oh shit

They just put a fucking video on YouTube

Why are all these kids watching us?

They sent that video to their mom and dad and they're like mom look how hard we worked on this sick ass trick shot video and then it got picked up which good for them not hating good for them for getting the views no but they did not go into it being like we're trying to fucking bros are gonna love this let's go back in 20 they're like our parents are gonna love this we put first episode of Part of My Take. For some reason, our entire audience is nine-year-olds.
Do we then cater our show to nine-year-olds? I guess that's what I'm saying. Yeah, I would.
Yes, absolutely. That's what I'm saying.
I'm not knocking them because they made so much money that if I had the opportunity to make as much money as them and I had to do what they did, I would do it 10 times out of 10. But if I'm subject to watch their fucking show, I'm still personally, as a 26-year-old, not going to like it and I'm going to be like, this is cringe.
It is funny behind the scenes how they try to do their version of jackass, but it's jackass for youth ministers. Right, right.
It's like, oh, we just pranked the shit out of you man we put up all your old high school pictures in your dressing room before the show right it's gotcha once you realize what they are you i just can't hate the way i thought i hated them because i just maybe i'm soft maybe it's the dad yeah yeah no it is it actually is when they start talking about their you know their kids and i'm just like oh man like i kind of get this so yeah i think that they're good people that are corny as shit so do you guys feel bad for bro sweet now no you guys actually we should bring bro what about when you bro sweeted in their face that was pretty little mean what if your son was like oh my god like look at these guys they hate dude perfect and you're like that was me yeah well you i i hope my son's smarter to not be like who's that random dude that looks exactly like my dad you never know i think i hank i think that uh we can keep the rivalry going yes oh i don't i don't like dude perfect's content i understand i understand the bad guys they are good whatever said they were they're good nerds yeah exactly they're they're their Their office is sick, too. Listen, when you have the spectrum of nerds, who would you rather have? Dude Perfect or Darren Revelle? Dude Perfect.
Like, they're nerds for good. That's the most loaded question you could ever have.
No, but that's the spectrum of nerds. You could put anyone on the other side of Darren Revelle.
There's really no one that would be like, oh, Darren Revelle. That's the spectrum of nerd.
There's the nerd that just well-actualies everyone's life for a living, and then there's the nerds that do trick shots and have a Nickelodeon show. Now, if you were to ask me if that spectrum continues, it's like Tim, our dungeon master, our dude perfect, it's Tim every time.
Yeah. That's my point.
Tim's not really a nerd, though. He's a fucking G.
What? He's a huge nerd. He's a G of a nerd.
He's a G. He is the nerd.
He is cooler than all of us. I love Tim.
He's still a nerd. Okay, but he's cooler than all of us.
But he's still a nerd. Meh.
I'm using the word nerd for Tim, not in like a bad pejorative way. Me neither.
Okay, he's a G. Say it.
Tim Woods is a G. Another one of my favorite parts was reading the little screen caps of the yelp reviews that they would put up on the on the screen or like the google reviews for the live performance that it'd be a bunch of like 45 year old women that would review and be like that show was lit y'all yeah like like using 1990s early 2000s rap lingo to describe dude perfect going out there and like smashing a banana with her foot.
I'm just getting myself set because I think if they stick around for the next 15 years, I will someday have to go to a Dude Perfect show. And guess what? I'll hopefully get backstage passes so my son thinks I'm a hero.
I did, and I did think, like, I did have that thought again. Like, I'm not trying to come off as the biggest hater in the world.
I did have the thought where it was like, I think I went to fucking, like, Disney on ice as a kid. Like, I probably would have liked going to Dude Perfect more.
Exactly. But I still hated watching the documentary.
That's my takeaway. If you were nine, they would be the sweetest bros in the world.
Right. And I think Big Cat also says that because they are the complete opposite.
Their fans are the complete opposite of Cali teens that he's afraid of. Oh, yeah.
Like a Cali teen would not be caught dead at a dude.

No, because they're real ones.

No, Cali teens would smoke weed and then listen to us and be like,

I could bully all of them.

Yeah.

All right.

That's our show.

Great show.

We'll see everyone Tuesday.

Have a safe weekend.

Memorial Day weekend.

We'll see you then.

Love you guys. We'll be right back.
Take on me Is it better to be safe than sorry? Take me on me It's Pardon My Take presented by Farm School Sports.